#not entirely sure i'm using that right tell me if i'm not

[writersdrug]

I need the bartender Simon having to escape upstairs for a few minutes just to control the monster in his pants just because of a more direct provocation from the reader

I was saving this ask and I think this is the perfect moment after Simon sees reader in his shirt, no?

Warnings: NSFW, masturbation, sex toy, pining, daydreaming about p in v sex

He doesn't dare go up to his room - even after the bar is closed, after you and Johnny are both gone, after his tasks are complete. His mind has been scrambled ever since you came down in his shirt, looking like you'd just woken up from having a nap in his bed. He knew that wasn't the case, but it was so easy to pretend. You made it easy, looking like wearing his shirt was just your typical Friday outfit. If he tried hard enough, sitting at the bar after hours, sipping on an Old Fashioned- he could imagine you were up there right now, lying stomach-first in his bed, wearing his shirt, with "LT RIELY" on your back - you weren't objective, he certainly doesn't think of you like that - but having his claim on you aroused the most primal part inside him. If only you could see what you've done. Did you even know it?

Price comes lumbering down the stairs. Simon doesn't bother to look at him; he sits at the bar, his Old Fashioned long gone, with an empty whiskey glass and the mostly-full bottle next to him. He was hoping to replace the thought of you with drinking, but he didn't have the stomach for it.

"I'm plannin' to see if Garrick wants to join the team." Price says, shrugging on his jacket. "I know he wanted to be his own man, but we could use him. Our girl's made this place quite popular."

Simon wants to spit out the words he'd just heard. Our girl. Whose girl? John's? Soap's? The entire pub? It was his name on your back. Not Price. Not MacTavish. He was the one you came to with all those receipts, numbers scribbled in the margins, trusting him to help you ward them off. Sure, you have fun with everyone, asking them all for help - but you go to him the most easily, whenever you need to feel safe. Bad customers, bad situations - you looked to him. Didn't that mean anything to Price?

He doesn't respond to his captain, choosing to stare at his empty glass instead. Price looks at him quizzically.

"Feelin' alright, there?"

Simon grunts. "Long day."

Price knows he's bullshitting him. He knows exactly what this is about. He sighs, pulling his beanie on and tucking the money pouch into his jacket. "If you want 'er, Simon, tell me to back off. Can't read your mind."

That has him pursing his lips, grip tight around the sides of his glass. He would have punched John, was he any other man. He knows exactly what Simon's thinking, yet he makes him work for it. Typical. His pride and his jealousy are fighting tooth and nail against each other, but he can barely say a word.

Price stands there a moment, waiting for Simon to speak - but he doesn't even spare the owner a glance. Bastard's always punishing himself... he thinks, sighing again.

"Bright and early tomorrow, lad." He says, heading towards the kitchen. "Lights off when you're done here." He knows Simon's capable of closing, but he repeats it every night regardless.

"Sir."

Price stops, halfway through the kitchen door. He looks at Simon, who's now staring directly back at him. There's a look in his face, something that reminds him of Ghost - the reason he became his right-hand man.

"Respectfully..." he says slowly. "Back off."

Price almost finds it comical. Like an animal staking its claim, staring at its rival - except they’re not rivals. The only reason Simon is bothering to play his captain's game, asking for permission to have what Price would happily hand over, is because he's his superior. Even if they're all retired from the SAS, no one ever really dropped the dynamics of the team.

He smiles, nodding his head once. "Understood." He says, shoving himself through the kitchen door. "But hurry up and say somethin' to 'er. I'm sick of you losing your mind during the rush."

With that, Simon hears him leave through the back door. He stays there for a moment, his mind reeling - he feels both satisfied and angry at the same time. It was a bit humiliating to tell Price to leave you for himself - you don't belong to him. But that was a problem he was going to fix. You had his name on your back-

For Christ’s sake, he’s got to give it a rest. You wore his shirt, that was all. You wore it – with no bra. Bare. Naked underneath the 141’s insignia, under his title.

And that damn bra is still in his room.

He can’t take it anymore. He unscrews the whiskey bottle and takes a few swigs, before slamming it back onto the bar top. He leaves the bottle and the glass there as he gets up, making his way across the floor, up the stairs, passing the office, and continuing up to his studio flat.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary. If you’d gone snooping, you either did a good job of hiding the evidence, or you didn’t really rifle through too much. His bed was untouched, his books and items where he had put them last – he goes into his drawers, checking to see if you had gone through anything other than his shirts. Considering everything is still where it should be, he assumed not. Though you did leave a mess in his shirt drawer – you’d been digging around in there until you found his old SAS shirt. Did you mean to do that? Were you looking for something with his name on it, just to drive him insane?

He goes back into his top drawer, muttering a curse as he pushes the contents aside. His cock is pulsing in his pants as he grabs his pocket pussy, slamming the drawer shut and heading towards his bed. He doesn't want to draw this one out - this is nothing more than a wank, just to get you out of his head. He sits at the foot of his bed and unbuttons his jeans, pulling his hard length out of his briefs – it bounces up and slaps against his abdomen, precum already smeared across the tip. He’s been hard for hours now, trying not to cum in his pants at the thought of your tits rubbing against the inside of his shirt. Do you have small, pebbly nipples? Or ones that are soft and pliant? He growls as he smears the tip of his cock against the lips of the toy, rubbing up and down the slit. He sighs, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. You’re there, rubbing your lips on his cock, your hand wrapped tightly around his shaft as you stare up at him, licking and kissing his tip like a good girl…

He scowls and opens his eyes, sitting upright – he sees your bra hanging off the back of his chair, and he nearly passes out form how quickly the blood rushes to his cock. Pink lace, delicate and kinda skimpy… and your shirt, crumpled on the seat of the chair. You’d forgotten to shove them into your bag before you left. Or did you do this on purpose?

He's reaching out before he realizes it, slowly standing up and heading towards the chair. He wants to grab your bra, rub his cock in it until he stains it with his thick cum – but something in the back of his mind keeps him from touching it. One, it’s purely you, and he doesn’t want to ruin that. Two, he’s trying to cum. Not to cum to you. He’s doing this to get rid of your image in his head.

So, he goes for the next best thing. He grabs your shirt and sits back down on the edge of the bed. He lines himself up with his fleshlight and brings your shirt to his face; no wonder the drinks had turned it translucent, it was the thinnest fabric he had ever felt. Practically skin.

He presses it against his face and inhales: the scent of you, sweet, floral and spicy, fills his mind. It makes it all to easy to imagine that you’re sinking down onto his cock, and not that he’s stuffed it as far as he can into the toy. He groans, his eyelids fluttering shut as he pumps his hips once, then again… the tightness of the fleshlight slides over him easily, offering no resistance with the precum acting as a lube while he grinds up into it, heat knotting in his gut. The waist of his jeans hugs his thighs as he slowly and steadily pulses towards the ceiling, taking deep breaths of your scent.

He feels like an animal. Dirty, cheap, and desperate. He has to remind himself that it’s not about you, it’s about having a good wank and getting you out of his head. He drops your shirt on his chest and uses his free hand to cup his balls, groaning as he massages them. The schlick of the fleshlight around his dick is loud, the sensation borderline painful as he quickly fucks into it, curses spilling past his lips as he slams the thing down to the base of his length, catching on the Jacob’s ladder piercing on the underside, then back to the tip.

He shouldn’t, but he lets his mind slip elsewhere. What would you be doing? Would you have your hands on his chest, lips parted in a moan as you drop your hips onto his thighs, your cunt dripping and squeezing around his member…? What are you doing now? Are you still wearing his shirt? Are you lying back on your bed, playing with your breasts under the fabric and using your other hand to toy with your pussy? What do you sound like? Are you saying his name, or can you make any sound at all?

He falls back against the bed. “Fuck fuck fuck-“ he mumbles. He’s caught himself in a trap here – he can’t allow himself to indulge in the thought of you, begging him to take your hips and buck up into you – but it’s impossible to get you out of his head. Even if he could, he doesn’t think he’d be able to cum without you. He squeezes his fist around the fleshlight, groaning loudly from the pain, trying to drown out the sounds of your moans in his head… you’re always there, ever present, leaning over him and whimpering in his ear, need you, Simon, wanna cum on your cock, want it inside-

It's all too much for him, but not enough. He turns himself over, climbing up to his knees on the bed. He props himself up on his forearm, holding the fleshlight with his other hand as he ruts into it, stuffing his cock in as far as it will go, until the lips are smashed against the base. He pants and groans, mouth hanging open as he hovers over the bed; over you, holding one of your thighs up, touching his forehead against yours, watching as you’re covered in a layer of sweat, tits bouncing with each violent thrust of his hips. Both wrists secured above your head with one of his meaty hands, whimpers and whines spilling from your mouth as you struggle to remain coherent. Your cunt swallows him greedily, hugs him tightly, pulses around him, coaxes him to pound into you harder and harder, your walls twitching as slick gushes around him, your fingers digging into the back of his hand as you cry out his name, “Simon, Simon, Simon”-

He hisses through his teeth as his balls seize up, his abdomen going taut and his dick twitching in the toy. He rips the fleshlight off and grabs your shirt without a second thought, wrapping it tight around his cock and pumping it. “Gonna cum, gonna cum- fuck- oh, fuck-!” He mumbles to no one as his orgasm is ripped from him, hips canting repeatedly as cum spurts into the fabric of your shirt, leaking out around his thighs as he thrusts into it, thighs aching from the exertion. He bites into his hand and growls as he continues rutting, fighting through the overstimulation to chase what remains of his high – but he soon collapses on the bed, huffing and groaning into the mattress.

His orgasm fades slowly, his heart ramming against his ribcage and the fog clearing from his head. Realization sinks in as he’s hyper-aware of your shirt, still wrapped around his dick, now soaked in his cum. He'd have to wash it, now. Filthy doesn’t even begin to describe how he feels, but he doesn’t find it in him to care anymore. He rolls onto his side, clutching your shirt in his hand. Fuck. One quick tug was all this was supposed to be, and now, he’s picturing you lying across from him. Face flushed, lips swollen and eyes hazy, smiling at him and panting. Telling him you love him. He’d say it back a million times. Listening as you breathe, as you talk about your silly little ideas for the pub, for redecorating his room… craving the moment where you drag yourself closer to him and snuggle into his chest for the rest of the night.

He hasn’t gotten rid of you, like he hoped for. He’s only made it more clear: he wants you. He wants his life to be threaded with yours, he wants to wake up next to you, he wants you to change his routine, to pick up his broken pieces and make a mosaic – and he wants to be there when you need someone, he wants to give you everything you want and more, whether that’s a life up in the clouds or down here, in his arms, in his small bed and lackluster apartment. You’d make it better; you’d make anything better.

He sighs, slowly sitting up and on the edge of the bed. Price was right – he’s got to hurry up and say something to you, or else he’ll be drowned in his obsession. You’d either agree to take this fucked-up giant on a date and end his misery, or you’d reject him, and he could force you from his thoughts and replace you with misery. It’s worked before.  

He pulls off his jeans and shirt and grabs the fleshlight, standing with a grunt and walking into his bathroom. He’s planning to clean the toy, but if he waits long enough, he might just be fucking it again in the shower.

[tpwk-formula1]

Girl prepare for a big one I’m sorry 😭

Gluten free, deep dish with Red sauce, Jalapeños, Tomato’s, and Ham, with Sun tea and a Vodka redbull and dessert?

Served by Lewis Hamilton

Special request: “can there be a fight for dominance but the reader looses?” Love the menu btw 💗💗💗

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

gluten free rivals deep dish teammates red sauce rough sex jalapenos "Always such a fucking brat" tomatoes "Do you enjoy pissing me off?" ham "You're so infuriating. Walking around like you own the place and then come back to my room to get fucked properly" sun tea sir kink vodka redbull squirting dessert yes served by Lewis Hamilton

Lewis x Rival Teammate! reader

TW - MEAN asf Lewis, reader can fight back, sorry for the things I said about you Kimi (I love you I promise!), squirting, unprotected sex, face slapping (once), multiple orgasms, truthfully might be the roughest sex I have written for this vlog (maybe other than Kinktober)

WC 2100+

Y/N POV

The meeting was finally over which had Lewis and I both popping up and scurrying off into our respective driver's room. We just finished our debrief after the Singapore qualifying after Lewis and I were found fighting in the garage when I refused to give him a slipstream after he didn't give me one back in Monza when I needed it.

Toto left the meeting at "You guys need to figure your shit out. Fuck or something." He even suggested. If only he knew...

I'm packing up my stuff when I hear a loud bang coming from Lewis's room making me stop and stare at the wall that connects our room before I hear Lewis should a loud fuck.

I slowly leave my room looking into the garage to see if anyone had heard Lewis's outbreak. When I noticed the entire garage was completely empty I walked next door to knock softly.

When I didn't get a response I trained my ears to see if Lewis was in the shower. When I can't hear the shower I softly open the door to find Lewis changing into a different pair of pants making my eyes instantly notice the bulge hidden from his briefs. I could tell he was far from rock hard which had my mind racing.

"Do you know how to fucking knock?" Lewis snaps making my eyes instantly move from staring at his bulge making my face grow hot slightly.

"I did knock," I snap back before turning to leave.

"No, wait!" Lewis shouted not letting me get a clean escape.

"What?" I ask while stepping into Lewis's room and closing the door behind me giving us some privacy in case we get into another screaming match.

"Why are you even in here?" Lewis asked referring to me coming in, in the first place.

"I heard a bang and then you shouted. Just wanted to make sure you where okay," I tell Lewis softly making Lewis nod.

"Ah, so you do have a heart! Spent the past three years convinced you where the fucking tin man," Lewis tells me with a sarcastic laugh falling from his lips.

"Lewis, literally shut the fuck up. You're getting replaced by a child next year because you threw a tantrum when Toto didn't give you what you wanted," I tell him makingg Lewis's face grow red in anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? You're the one who might get replaced by Max next year is Toto can swoon him," Lewis snaps back making me shrug my shoulders.

"Eh, at least I know the person replacing me has talent. Your replacement fucking crashed my car on lap three last time he got behind the wheel," I reply back trying to show the situation doesn't stress me out.

"You're fucking petty as shit. When Kimi crashed you were all like 'oh no I hope he's okay! He's just too sweet he better be okay'," Lewis replied back in a voice that was clearly trying to mock my voice.

"You're so fucking ridiculous Lewis. I wish it was you who retired and not Nico," I snap with vemon lacing my voice making Lewis stride towards me and push me against the wall. I knew I took it a step to far but truthfully I didn't care. I trusted that Lewis wouldn't hurt me but at the same time even if he did it wouldn't be the first time we hurt each other. While it was always words I could take a slap to the face like a champ.

"Do you enjoy pissing me off? Because you're a fucking child. You know that? Everyone has to walk on eggshells around you because one wrong move and BOOM the little Mercedes driver with the anger problems is throwing another fucking tantrum," Lewis spits his words into my face making me pull a disgusted face to try and mask the hurt coursing through me.

"You're a fucking asshole, Lewis Hamilton," I spit back making Lewis finally crash his lips onto mine making me gasp against his lips in shock before slightly relaxing into the kiss before pushing Lewis away once I realize who I was kissing.

"Don't fucking do this shit again," I snap at him before both of us fall silent just staring at each other while breathing rapidly.

It was clockwork for us, we go at each other's throats and somehow find ourselves in each other's bed to somehow kiss and make up, but in reality, all it is, is putting a fucking bandaid on a bullet hole.

At the same moment, Lewis and I are back to aggressively making out fighting for dominance. I get Lewis to the bed first making him sit down before I start pushing at his shoulders before I'm climbing into his lap taking control, which lasts about .3 seconds before I am being flipped around resulting in my back roughly hitting the hard physio table.

"Always such a fucking brat, trying to take control like that's your role," Lewis says while grinding his hips into mine making me moan at the pleasure.

"One of these days your little outbursts and attitude is gonna leave you ass so sore you won't be able to race," Lewis says making me roll my eyes at his threats.

"Then you won't get the damn slipstream you want so bad," I fight back with a satisfied smirk on my face with is quickly slapped off. I mean literally, Lewis slapped my face not necessarily softly but far from as hard as he could.

Lewis knew I loved when he mixed a bit of pain with my pleasure and early on found out he could send a quick slap to my face and it'll shut me up pretty quickly.

I just whimper when the sting settles in and I register what happened. Lewis is instantly gripping at my clothes and undressing me with no problem.

When I'm completely bare for Lewis he's like a madman being released because his mouth is instantly all over my pussy while also slipping three fingers into my unprepared hole making me softly scream at the stretch.

Lewis is instantly throwing his free hand over my mouth successfully muffling my screams not wanting anyone to walk by and hear what is going on between the two known rivals.

Lewis knew exactly what he was doing, so it was no shocker to him when I started begging to cum.

"Please, sir. I need it," I whine against his large hand that is still covering my mouth.

"Go on, it's the only thing you're good at," Lewis finally gives me permission making me instantly release my orgasm spraying my pleasure all over Lewis's face and soaking the shirt he was still wearing.

When I gether myself enough I look down to see the damage that has been done and it was so hot to see Lewis soaked with my juices.

"You're giving me at least two more before I even think about giving you my cock," Lewis said roughly while still finger fucking me making me whimper at the overstimulation.

Lewis knew my body better than anyone else ever has, which is only because he tied me to my hotel bed and explored my body until the sun rose finding all the ways he could make me cum, scream, whine, beg, you name it he probably discovered it that night. The night he found out I could squirt several times in a row in quick succession if he just kept going.

"Sir," I announce loudly when I feel the band in my stomach start to grow again.

"Go on," Lewis says with a sass in his voice almost like he was annoyed.

"Oh fuck," I whimper out when I finally feel the band snap making me start spraying all over Lewis's driver's room again.

"God, you're so fucking easy. I bet I could make you squirt if I looked at you hard enough," Lewis said in mockery knowing damn well he could blow a little bit of air on my clit and I'd be cumming for him in a matter of seconds.

"I need one more," Lewis said while speeding up his fingers again making me whine when I feel my third orgasm approaching making me squirm trying to get away but Lewis was far stronger than me making it easy to overpower me and keep me down while he finger fucks me into another squirting orgasm that has me gasping for air. I could hear my squirt hitting difference surfaces around us making the deed that much dirtier.

I am sure everyone will hear about this by the next race because no way the poor cleaner who has to come in after us will keep their mouth shut when they realize the dried liquid all around the room is in fact the evidence of the pleasure of the female driver.

"Good fucking girl! Good to know your ears work sometimes," Lewis says while stepping away from my pussy before sending a rough slap down on my sensitive clit making me jerk and a little bit a squirt come out making Lewis laugh at the slut he had turned me into for him.

"Please sir, more," I gasp when I feel Lewis's tip teasing my dripping entrance inviting him to sink in.

"You know you're so infuriating. Walking around like you own the place and then come back to my room to get fucked properly" says Lewis as he sinks into my pussy making me whimper at the stretch.

"Fucking hell, how are you still this fucking tihgt?" Lewis questions while he starts thrusting making me whimper feeling the stretch all over my body.

"Fuck, I'm gonna have to spend more time in you, maybe make you sleep with my cock burried in this pussy, make it a perfect fucking fit for me to play with," Lewis continues making me whimer and clench around him.

"So good, sir," I gasp when Lewis's hips are snapping into mine at a brutal pace.

"Fuck! How are you about to cum again," Lewis groans when he feels my pussy contracting around his cock ready to fall into another orgasm.

"You know what to do," Lewis says giving me permission for my fourth orgasm of the night making me scream out loudly.

My tightening pussy was Lewis's final straw because next thing I know he's pulling out and cumming on my stomach making sure to paint my tits a bit with his cum.

He loved the way he could coat my body in his cum.

Once Lewis settles down from his pleasure he climbs out of the hard bed looking for a towel he can use to whip me down.

Once I'm clean from his cum he pulls me up slightly so he can stand between my legs while he holds me to his chest.

"You think Toto knows the truth?" I mumble against Lewis's tattooed chest making me chuckle softly.

"Probably and if not before he's definitely gonna think we listened to his advice," Lewis jokes making me laugh with him.

"We have a problem," I mumble burying my face into his chest not wanting to admit the problem.

"What is it, sweet girl?" Lewis questions showing me the sweet side I only got to see after moments like this or early in the morning when we knew no one could see that the two rivals actually had hearts.

"I can't feel my legs and I truthfully do not want to get into someone else's car covered in sweat and cum," I mumble making Lewis laugh lightly.

"Well you have in fact left your sweat and cum in my car so I'll take us back to the hotel, and I have no issues holding you until you're ready," Lewis tells me softly before picking me up into his arms and pulling us to the couch where he held me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have screamed in your face like that," Lewis apologizes clearly embarrassed by his actions.

"I said some pretty ugly things too. I think we need to work on that," I tell him softly making him hum in agreeance.

"Still want you to fuck me like that, even if it does make driving a bit uncomfortable," I tell him making Lewis let out a belly laugh.

"I'll always fuck you like a whore. You love it too much for me to stop," Lewis tells me making me smile.

We lay like that for another thirty minutes before we heard a knock on the door before we could hear Toto's voice shout, "I see you took my advice! It better fucking work!"

Lewis and I just laugh at being called out but make no move to get up and get dressed knowing Toto wasn't going to open the door.

[yanderes-galore]

Hey! requesting some HCs for Ranni (Elden Ring). Thank you!

I watched her cutscenes, I watched her lore, and I'm still not entirely sure what's going on but that's normal for this kind of game. Pardon me if there's something wrong in this concept... I am trying. ALSO, the term "Elden Lord" is used, but it's gender neutral just like in the game.

Sorry if it isn't intense... I will appreciate feedback from the Elden Ring fans.

Yandere! Ranni the Witch Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence, Isolation, Stalking, Dubious relationship.

I imagine Ranni's darling is the one who helps her achieve her Age of Stars.

You are her Tarnished who came to her at her call.

She needs someone to help her achieve her fate and destiny.

For most of her obsession, you may actually be a willing participant.

Right up until the end when you begin to realize something may be off.

Like most of Elden Ring's yanderes I feel, Ranni isn't all that intense.

She'd mostly watch her obsession through their journey to aid her.

She watches you closely, even if you may not know it.

She sees how you interact with her cohorts and how you fight in battle.

You are a promising Tarnished in her eyes... She can tell through the way you speak and fight.

Sooner or later, she'll deem you the perfect Elden Lord for her new age.

To Ranni, meeting her obsession was yet another destiny she was meant to meet.

To her, you two were always meant to be.

Her chosen Elden Lord.

Her obsession would span throughout her side quest to get the Age of Stars ending.

Since in that ending... Ranni and The Tarnished (you) marry as God and Elden Lord.

That would be the general story idea... Ranni obsessing over her most devoted helper.

At the beginning, she tries not to show much of her favoritism.

Although, by the time you defeat Radahn and unfreeze the stars, she shows her fondness more.

In terms of her overall behavior, I imagine she's mostly the observing type, watching you from a distance and praising your efforts when you meet her.

Ranni prefers to meet you as her larger life-sized doll form.

However, when you pick up her smaller form, she doesn't mind the idea of being held by you while you share a conversation.

Her obsession is unintentional.

She originally doesn't think you'll survive her requests.

Yet when you prove yourself by meeting her again... she thinks you'll prove to be useful to her for her plans.

Then from there... the moon witch begins to grow fond of you.

She's a subtle manipulation yandere, instructing her beloved to follow her every word like a divine command.

She watches over them through her dolls, often wondering when their next meeting will be.

Her obsession starts as curiosity.

As if she's wondering if you'll really be someone she can trust.

However, once you retrieve the lost treasure of Nokron...

She knows you're hers.

Before you even find the Dark Moon ring, Ranni has claimed you as her Tarnished.

You are not loyal to any other covenant, just hers.

Which must mean she has your heart, body, and soul as hers.

In a way, like other yandere covenant/religion leaders or deities, your loyalty makes her feel she has a claim over you.

To differ from canon a bit, maybe Ranni instructs you to find the Dark Moon ring.

She doesn't tell you for what, a subtle trick.

She just gives you small lies, deceiving you by saying it was a gift from her mother that she wants back.

Then she instructs you through her smaller doll to find her location.

Unlike in the game, where she's surprised you are choosing to be her Elden Lord...

She would deceive you into being hers once you slip the ring on one of her fingers.

This is a yandere story, after all, a dark romance.

Her deceiving her Tarnished, her obsession, into being hers in her new age would be something she'd do.

You aren't quite sure what you've done until Ranni appears, claiming you to be her Elden Lord.

There's a ghost of a smile on her face while she watches your shocked expression.

As if challenging you to rebel against her now that such a ritual has been done.

She doesn't think you'll refuse if you've gone this far to listen to her.

As her new consort, you are given the task of removing her old cohorts and defeating her Shadow, Blaidd.

Then after that, she oversees you defeating Queen Marika... Radagon... her traitorous parent of a dreaded Golden Order.

By the end of it, Ranni appears to greet you and the shattered corpse of Marika.

You can't help but feel a chill run down your spine.

Ranni merely greets you with a smile yet again, thanking you for helping her achieve her Age of Stars.

Unfortunately... You cannot part from her now.

Every God requires their Elden Lord.

Their consort.

It doesn't matter if you try to back out now or agree.

Your fate and destiny are sealed.

She may have tricked you, yes...

But she assures you she does it out of love, she only feels love for her beloved consort.

She takes your hand... and you just feel cold.

She grins teasingly, leaning closer as she congratulates you...

A cold kiss cooling your warm lips.

You two are meant to be together now... forever in her new age...

You'll be hers forever...

Just the two of you, overseeing the people in the Age of Stars... Together forever... Just as destiny told her.

You can't fight your destiny... no matter how hard you try... she'll always just tug you back with a kiss... She's as cold as the Dark Moon itself.

[difeisheng]

MODERN CANTONESE ZENG SHUNXI DRAMA IS HAPPENING, THIS IS NOT A DRILL ‼️‼️

Yousiyi brand livestream host: I've heard that you're taking on a Cantonese drama. Would you be able to tell us anything about it?

ZSX: To me, accepting this role is really me trying something new (...) I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to reveal about the character, but for me... it truly is a kind of role I've never played before.

Host: Wow, hearing this, we're all waiting with bated breath—

ZSX: It's a very challenging role, too, because the contrast between him and myself in real life is fairly huge. And he's a rather two-faced kind of character.

Host: Right. And the director is someone you've worked with before too, correct?

ZSX: Right, right, yes. The director and I worked together once before, on Line Walker 3.

Host: So I feel that since you're partnering up with someone familiar, there'll be an even better spark [during filming].

ZSX: Right, with him around I'm definitely a lot more relaxed. Actually, this time around, during the entire earlier stage of the process, the director and I communicated a lot. We were working out how to make this a more well-rounded character.

Host: So we're looking forward to seeing a very different Zeng Shunxi! (x)(x)

《刍狗之血》 (Blood of the Sacrificial Dog) is set to star Nick Cheung, Myolie Wu, and Zeng Shunxi, and is being produced by Youku. Filming will take place in Macao and Jiangmen starting Sep. 23rd.

[what-have-i-unleashed]

i dream of one so far away, far away

as promised, twisted fluffy kross

(cw: toxic relationship, tell me if i need to put in more warnings)

cross puts down the last moving box into the living room, feeling quite proud with himself. this new house he's moved into is in a fairly peaceful universe, with only monsters living in this part of the city.

cross opens one of the boxes, with the housewarming presents from dream and ink. an intricate flower vase from dream, and a painting from ink - nothing surprising coming from those two. a note from ink that cross doesn't want to read just yet. along with a vial of something golden shimmering inside - killer's required dose, courtesy of dream.

"killer?" he calls out, his voice ringing in the empty house. "can you help me with this?"

after a few seconds of silence, killer appears in front of cross in a shortcut. cross takes a quick glance over killer. everything seems to be fine at least.

with killer's help, unpacking boxes and organizing furniture in the living room do not take a lot of time. they get everything done under three hours.

cross sinks into the plush sofa, satisfied. killer sits next to him, watching some cat videos on his newly acquired phone. a bit bashful, cross closes the distance between them and carefully envelops killer's hand in his. he leans over to watch the screen with killer, occasionally tilting his head to see the smile on killer's face.

"feeling okay?" cross asks, to which killer hums in affirmation. "do you want to take a walk near the park?"

"yeah sure," killer says, pocketing his phone away.

their walk is uneventful, which should be a good thing for killer. it is around noon on a weekday, so cross doesn't expect there to be many people out and about. though it is quite strange to have killer so docile next to him. he has said nary a word throughout the whole walk. cross expects he himself has to get used to it somehow, but he can't help the instinctual feeling of discomfort. and uncertainty.

"killer," cross says, holding killer's hand. "you're… fine there, right?"

killer's heart-shaped soul doesn't waver as he replies, "… i suppose so, yeah."

the sun is at the highest, casting light and heat right above their skulls. cross fidgets, watching their shadows underneath their steps as he feels something itchy creeping down his throat. "there's nothing you want to change?"

they walk in relative silence for a while. the park here is quite beautiful, cross has to admit. the grass is lush with paved path for guests to walk. there are some strange magical flowers planted in certain plots that he would want to look at later. a monster manning an ice cream stand notices the couple and waves at them. cross waves back hesitantly, while killer barely notices the guy.

they are approaching a water fountain to sit down when killer opens his mouth again.

"… nothing i want to change, but…"

cross turns to look at killer. the other has stopped, looking at something in the distance.

"i feel like i changed… somehow."

killer's soul wavers, as if unsure of what shape it wants to make. its owner stares at it, his eyelights gone.

"feel like i'm supposed to be somewhere else. something else entirely. why… why can't i reme-"

whatever killer is about to say next, he gets interrupted by cross sweeping him into a hug. cross' eyelights take on a distinct purple hue as he forces himself to relax and not crush killer shoulders with his grip.

"it's fine. everything's fine. you're fine," cross whispers, his tone frantic. "you are what you always want to be, killer. you don't need to change anything about yourself."

"cross-"

cross releases killer, making killer stumble a few steps backwards. cross stares at killer in the sockets, a lavender haze creeping into his vision. "if you have the chance to maintain the order of the world and another chance to be happy, what would you choose, killer?"

killer stares back at cross, his soul now slowly but surely taking on the shape of a target. black liquid starts to trickle down from killer's sockets, staining his pristine white face.

"… would be stupid to defy fate, no?" killer tilts his head, his smile strained at the corner.

"… i see."

cross takes a step towards killer. to killer's credit, he doesn't flinch or step back. the monochrome skeleton takes off his golden heart locket and delicately loop the chain behind killer's neck.

"it's okay if you disagree with me. maybe one day we'll be enemies again. but," cross hesitates, mulling over his words carefully. "know this, killer. even if that was to be the case, i would wish to create a world where you are happy. even if i had to fight the gods, i'd do it for you. again and again."

cross clasps the chain of the necklace and steps back, smiling as he sees killer looking at the locket with an indescribable expression on his face.

"consider it my promise to you, killer."

[rw-ascension-au]

note: pieces of dialogue in [square brackets] are thoughts

Greetings, Artificer.

What do you want?

I am here to ask some things in order for us to get to know you. It will allow our mission to proceed more easily due to the risk of--

You may not.

Why is that?

I just met you a few cycles ago! What do you think!? You keep pestering even your own group!

I don't believe "pester" is the correct word in this situation-

[Added a cut due to length. Before proceeding: CW- implied panic attack. Could be inaccurate, despite me having knowledge from my own experience. Also motion blur]

We don't want to answer your stupid questions, okay!? It's all - "May I ask something" this, "Can you please answer a few questions" that! You never hold a real conversation.

I apologise-

Do you!? Do you really!? I found hunter freaking out after your "information collection"! I'm not putting up with this!

I was simply concerned abou-

Concerned about your own mission going awry. If you're not asking questions, you're talking about the mission.

Artificer, you must calm down-

Oh right, that totally helps!

My intention was not to offend you.

I'm not humouring you anymore.

Artificer, please-

Don't pretend like you're worried! You gave me a choice. And I'm choosing to leave.

Artificer, if you stay, I promise I won't be an irritation again.

...

[She's gone.]

[What am I going to tell the others?]

[How did I fail my first mission?]

[How am I going to tell Invenot?]

...

[I ruined it for everyone.]

[Something's happening.]

[It's hard to breathe.]

[it feels as though I'm surrounded by lizards]

[I need to find Gourmand]

[They're the medic, if I remember correctly.]

[Do I remember it correctly?]

[What if something goes wrong again?]

[What if Gourmand leaves in a similar manner?]

[What if I'm merely pestering Gourmand, too?]

[what's happening?]

[what am I supposed to do?]

[what if invenot doesn't let me return to the void sea?]

[what if I'm banished somewhere?]

[what if I ended up locked at the lowest possible karma?]

[what if invenot punishes me for this?]

Saint?

May I- may I inquire about- did you see Artificer?

No, why?

She uh- I- I deeply apologise- she- she was upset with the way I've been inquiring about information. And-

...

May I ask something about- ...

Sure! But before that-

...

why?

It works with Spears.

I do not understand. But this does remind me, I think there might be something wrong.

Other than the fact that I found you all stressed out?

...

what?

You were panicking about something. Did Artificer leave?

...does Invenot punish failed missions?

Oh, this mission hasn't failed. We just have to be patient. Artificer usually comes back.

'Usually'? Does this happen on a regular basis?

Sometimes, yeah.

Would you please care to elaborate?

She's rather indecisive about the whole ascension thing. But the comes back after a little while. Though I'm not entirely sure why.

...very well then.

Let's go hang out at the shelter- I've already collected some plants and stuff. Arti will find us there.

...

[How did that happen? I'm supposed to be calm. I'm usually calm.]

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

I love being a multishipper. Yes I want these two to kiss. I also want this one person to kiss this other person even though they were kissing this other person earlier. They do not cancel each other out. Sometimes a poly ship helps but then also you ship two brothers with the same person and like. No. That would be weird. I'll just ship them both separately. That's not confusing at all.

[goldentigerfestival]

So. I love this. The way Yuri snickers at Flynn showing his real self. The way he, without hesitation, says "yeah" to the idea that he would die in Flynn's place.

But the most important part of this entire thing, which was changed in the dub, is how Yuri specifically jokes that Flynn is trying to abandon him, and Flynn returns and tells Don he had no intention of abandoning Yuri.

Yuri does not hear this. Flynn knows that. But Flynn uses the exact same term Yuri used earlier, as if it's his answer to Yuri and saying no, I would never abandon you.

For reference:

Personally I just... love the weight of it. How Flynn will say something about Yuri that Yuri won't hear, but he still speaks it out into existence because it's how he really feels.

Just because Yuri won't hear it doesn't mean he won't say it, and in a way that's even more powerful. He's not looking for the credit of saying it. He's not looking to be recognized for saying it. He's not only expressing how he feels about Yuri somewhere that Yuri himself will hear him.

They're just his real, honest feelings, and he'll admit them even if Yuri's not within earshot.

[shopcat]

i think there's probably something to be said about like. how a concerning amount of your own rights and life are locked behind red tape and prerequisite knowing how to do something "official" and how legal situations work and everything. as well as how technology is being integrated into it all. bc fundamentally a lot of people just will not be able to do these things without help and they don't know how to get that help and the members of ur community that are vulnerable to this like i don't know the disabled the elderly people whose first languages aren't english even just quote unquote "the uneducated" or those who struggled to get an education for any reason are all just CONSTANTLY being fucked bc the formula is locked away and those who put it in place just go "well you should have known". like how could you know what you DON'T KNOW. and these aren't a small percentage of people like i'd say it's literally just. laymen. people you know.

[mariocki]

Fat Man on a Beach (HTV, 1974)

"I'm going to read some more poems now. Erm. It may be that if you want to go and have a cup of tea, this would be a good time. I know that's what you masses are like. The mention of poetry and off you go."

[ame-to-ame]

there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them

[keeps-ache]

'you're too technical' no i'm not!! you're using the wrong phrase and the wrong words and equivalating two things that are nearly complete opposites and/or irrelevant to each other !!

[alsaurus-loves-dean]

.

[valsyr]

yes this is a freya blog .  no y’all are not exempt from me talking abt odin

[phantomrose96]

Okay I have a story.

So my birthday is this Sunday (May 26th). My mom ordered some presents for me but one of them (an Etsy purchase) was seemingly stuck in transit and might not make it on time. I tell my mom all good, no worries. She gets in contact with the seller. After a long delay in response they get back with "Right we'll fix it!" It ships, tracking label and everything, good to go! ETA May 22nd (yesterday.)

During the work day I check the tracking and it says it's been delivered in/at mailbox! I double check with my mom "hey, is it mailbox size?" because if not, I don't want it sitting at the front door where anyone walking by could snag it.

She says "it's definitely NOT mailbox size." Okay. I text my neighbors in the building "Anyone seen a package delivered? It's a birthday gift from my mom and I wanna make sure it gets inside!" Success! Floor 2 David (not to be confused with Floor 1 David) had brought it inside. Inform my mom. All good!

I stop by home briefly around 4pm, because yesterday was hot-hot and I just installed my window A/C that morning in the living room, and according to my cat cam my stupid cat hasn't spent a single second in the climate controlled living room and is, instead, voluntarily baking herself elsewhere so I'm like "great" and hop on my bike to go home (10 minute ride) to check on her.

I get in the building door. Patches is crying from the top floor because she heard me. I maneuver my bike in the front hall. The ugliest fucking 6-foot-tall cat tree(?)/totem(?)/statue(?) I've seen in my entire life is just. Standing there.

My first thought is "What the fuck is that." My second thought is "Oh fuck that is for me." I look around at the floor in case there's perhaps anything else that might, in fact, be the gift.

No. Me and Cat Pole.

It's taller than me. I turn it around to face me and its face is painted and this is, in fact, uglier than it looked from the back.

Um.

Patches is crying. So I just haul it up to my level. MAYBE it was supposed to come with twine that I wrap around it (and hide its face from the world) for Patches to scratch. Maybe this is a prank. Maybe this is an inside joke, because when my mom moved into her current house the neighborhood gifted her some ugly-as-hell totem that apparently, by tradition, each newest-comer to the neighborhood is required to have and display in their window so maybe this is a very good riff on that.

Patches rubs against it. She's not afraid of this horrid facsimile of her kind.

Great.

Meanwhile SHE'S fine and the condo is a little toasty but totally liveable so I'm like "Good, cool, you're not baking. You're having a good time. Enjoy your new sister, I guess, I'll see you later."

I go back to work because this is a problem for later me.

After work, after my run, after whatever, I get home and it's like 8:00pm and Patches is so happy to see me and the totem pole is still just. There.

I text my friends like "so a bday gift is here from my mom and it's the Biggest Ugliest cat pole I've seen in my life. Is this a bit? Did my mom go 'that's so ugly haha! send!' Maybe she genuinely found it cute. How do I navigate this." My friend Sarah has the good advice to maybe text my mom neutrally like "Got the cat pole!" and feel the waters whether my mom is like "Isn't it ugly? 😂" or "Hope Patches likes it! 🥰"

My mom goes to bed early so I don't do any of that yet. Problem for tomorrow me.

This morning, Patches wakes me up for breakfast. I get her situated and I'm staring at the fucking Cat Pole again. I wonder if my Mom's been wondering all night what I thought of it.

I take a picture. I text her.

Okay.

I get on call with my mom. I ask for clarity that the ungodly horrid thing is NOT my birthday gift and is in fact a mix-up from the seller who sent me this instead of my actual gift. She's wheezing between words. She thinks I'm being too charitable for the amount of Absolute Fucking Ugly this is. I have to gently talk her out of using the word "monstrosity" while messaging the seller asking what the hell happened here.

I tell her I need to apologize for harming her dignity with Floor 2 David, who thinks this fucking thing is my mom's idea of a great birthday gift for her to-be-28-year-old daughter.

My heart goes out to the poor soul who did actually order this cat totem and is lacking it on this lovely day.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

wait, Derin how did your leaving make the hospital shut down?

I used to work as a live-in nanny for a pediatrician.

Now, the thing about hospitals in my country is that they are massively understaffed and massively underfunded. This is especially true outside the major cities. The staff are worked to the bone and receive little to no help in things like finding accommodation or childcare, making working in rural areas a very uninviting prospect; staff come out here, get lumped with the work of three people (because there's nobody else to do it), burn out under the workload and leave, meaning that those remaining have even more work because that person is gone. It's unsustainable and the medical staff are doing their best to sustain it, because people die if they don't, so to the higher-ups it looks like everything's getting done and therefore everything is fine.

My friend (and boss) worked one week on, one week off, swapping out with another pediatrician. This was necessary because it would not be physically possible for one person to handle the workload for longer periods of time. The one single pediatrician had to hold up the entire pediatrics ward, which was not only the only public hospital pediatrics ward in our town, but also the one that served all the towns around us for a few hours' drive in all directions. I regularly saw her go to work sick, aching, tired, or with a debilitating 'I can barely make words or see' level migraine, because if she took a day off, twenty children didn't get healthcare that day, and some of these kids' appointments were scheduled weeks in advance. She'd work long hours in the day and then be called in a couple of times overnight for an hour or two at a time (she was on-call at night too, because somebody had to be), and then go in the next day. Sometimes she would be forced to take a day off because she physically could not stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time, meaning she couldn't drive to work.

Cue my niece's second birthday coming up in Melbourne. I'd been working for her for about 3 years, and she (and the hospital) had plenty of advance warning that I (and therefore she) needed one (1) Friday off. That's fine, we'll find someone to work that Friday, the hospital said. Right up until the last week where they're like "oh, we can't find a replacement; you can come in, can't you?"

No, she tells them; I don't have anyone to watch my kid that day.

Oh, surely you can hire a babysitter for this one day, they say. Think of the children! We really really need you to work that day. I know we said it'd be fine but we need you now, there's no one else to do it.

There are no other babysitters, she told them. Unless you can find one?

That's not our responsibility, they said.

But I'm not changing my plans, she's got plans by now as well, the hospital knew about this one day weeks in advance, and with absolutely no reserve staff they're forced to reschedule all pediatrics appointments for that Friday. Not a huge deal, it happens on the 'physically too overworked to get out of bed' days too. I go to Melbourne, she goes back to her home in Adelaide for her recovery week, all should be on track.

My niece gives me Covid.

This was way back in the first wave of the pandemic, and there were no Covid vaccines yet. The rules were isolate, mask up, hope. I had Covid in the house, and it would've been madness for my friend and her toddler to come back into the Covid house instead of staying in Adelaide. There was absolutely no way that a pediatrician could live with someone in quarantine due to Covid and go to work in the hospital with sick children every day. And no support existed for finding another babysitter, or temporary accommodation, so the hospital was down a pediatrician.

The other pediatrician wasn't available to do a three-week stint. They were also trapped in Adelaide on their well-earned week off.

Meaning that the only major pediatrics ward within a several-hour radius had no pediatricians. They had to shut down and send all urgent cases to Adelaide for the week. To the complete absence of surprise of any of the doctors or nurses; of course this would happen, this was bound to happen, it presumably keeps happening. But probably to the surprise of the higher-ups. After all, the hospital was doing fine, right? Of course all the staff were complaining of overwork and a lack of resources in every meeting, but they could always be fobbed off with the promise of more help sometime in the future; the work was mostly getting done, so the issue couldn't be too urgent.

It's not like some nanny who doesn't even work for the hospital could go out of town for a weekend for the first time in three years, and get the only public pediatrics ward in the area shut down for a week.