#not entirely satisfied with how the gold came out but here it is anyway

[12th-shavie]

Another dragon I drew. Gold is optional

[luniidae]

  ~Of Gold and Blood~

~ A New Home ~

Chapter II

Note: Hi everyone! It's been an eternity since I posted anything about this fic. Unfortunately, this is not the next chapter, but chapter 2 update !

I'm never entirely satisfied with what I write, but I hope you'll appreciate this new version nonetheless ✨

You can read it on AO3

The next days, Korrilla returned to Neverwinter to keep an eye on the strange girl she had met and who seemed to have, for some obscure reason, caught her master's attention. 

She didn't really understand the point of watching her, but she certainly wasn't going to argue with his orders anyway.

She had no trouble finding her young target's house, given its proximity to the tavern she had visited the other night. She recognized the roof from which her little spy had observed her, but there was no door or other window from this side of the street.

The warlock therefore went around taking a few alleys until a building which looked like any other: nothing very elaborate but not a dump either, it was actually quite pretty. That said, the dwarf had the strange feeling that something was off with this place. She kept a good distance away when a woman came out. The latter was rather well dressed but the way she held herself seemed odd. Despite her neat appearance, her walk was almost awkward, as if her outfit was inconvenient.

Korrilla waited until she was far enough away, then she approached the flowered windows. 

To her great astonishment, she couldn't see anything through it. Indeed, a mountain of dust covered all of the windows from the inside and it was almost impossible for her to see anything. The street wasn't very busy at that hour, but she decided not to linger so she wouldn't bring attention. She kept an eye on the house, monitoring the possible comings and goings of its inhabitants, but apart from the woman she had seen earlier, no one else left the place, and no one returned either. It seemed almost abandoned....

Korrilla felt like she was wasting her time, she was supposed to be gathering information about the supposed "Dracanist", but she had learned nothing new since she was here. However, she couldn't afford to return to the House of Hope empty-handed.

 So with a hint of annoyance, the young woman decided to use a metamorphosis spell to change herself into an animal small enough to pass through a gap. Usually, she would have opened a portal, or teleported herself, but she didn't know what was inside and she had to remain discreet anyway.

          And the dwarf changed into... A mouse. Luckily, she had no trouble finding an entrance, and once inside the house, she was able to see that everything from the outside was clearly nothing but a facade.

The place was dilapidated, unsanitary, it felt like a slum. The walls were decrepit, the floor was littered with all kinds of debris and most of the furniture looked like it was about to collapse under a shroud of dust and dirt. It made her wonder how the hostess had managed to keep her clothes this impeccable. Speaking of the "lady", she saw a portrait of her and a man on one of the walls. Their smile making them look creepier than they already were.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps coming from the stairs and Korrilla quickly hid herself under the table. It was a child, a blond elf, probably 10. His clothes were dirty and he looked thin, but he wasn't the person she was looking for. Maybe it wasn't the good house, after all.

As unfortunate as it seemed, she was so focused on the boy that she didn't notice the mousetrap she was walking on. When she realized the extend of her mistake, it was too late. She managed to avoid being smashed by the mechanism, but her tail got caught nonetheless and she cursed herself for being so stupid. But in the other hand, she hadn't imagine finding a mousetrap in a place so neglected... The sound caught the kid's attention and he approached, kneeling down to take a look under the table.

A mischievous smile appeared on his dusty yet angelic face, and he took the trap with the mouse hanging from it. He looked amused and revulsed at the same time.

" Ugh, disgusting... Haha, I never thought I'd catch one ", he said to himself.

He poked the tiny creature with his fingertips to see her reaction, without knowing he was bothering a warlock in disguise. The latter, clearly annoyed by the situation, was about to take her usual form back and kick his ass to teach him a lesson. 

But when he seemed about to smash her on the ground, he was suddenly pushed to the side, dropping the trap. He then fell on the floor, coughing because of the dust, swearing because of the fall... He stared at the person who dares to push him, a hint of anger in his eyes.

"What's yer problem, goat ?! I'll show ya ! "

The elf was talking to a horned girl, a bit smaller than him. He stood up quickly on his feet and threw himself at her, his face as red as a tomato.

The person who "saved" her was the one she was looking for. The two kids were fighting but the elf was a bit stronger and fierce, obviously hurt in his ego. The sound of their argument caught the attention of three others. Three children, hidden in the stairs, two humans and another elf. They were probably between 3 and 6 years old. 

" WHO D'YOU THINK YOU ARE ! STAY IN YER PLACE ! " he shouted at her while beating her face. She was trying to fight back but at some point, she covered herself with her forearms instead.

Once he was done with her, he left her on the floor, threatening her. 

"Don't ye dare touch me again with yer dirty hands, freak "

The ones hidden in the stairs were chuckling, apparently amused by the situation.

" You served her right! ", said one of them.

The room quickly felt silent as the kids disappeared in the shadows of the house. Korrilla, who was still stuck to the trap, was looking at the girl who was laying down before her. The latter slowly got up, leaning on her elbows. She seemed looking for something, then she stopped when her eyes locked on the mouse. She approached her, a few bruises on her face and a bit of blood dropping from her nose. 

Korrilla could notice once again that her blood looked "magic", because of this strange reddish glow which was emanating from it.

" It's ok ", she whispered to the tiny creature. She removed her tail from the trap delicately and took the mouse in her hands. 

" You can stay with me if you want ", she added in a low voice. 

The warlock didn't expect to have to keep this shape any longer, but she considered her words for a second. It would be easier for her to watch the girl if she stayed with her after all... So she climbed on her forearm, reached her shoulder and hide in her hair, making her giggle.

              And so she spent the rest of the day with her, gripping to her, observing her. She could notice how lonely she was, since she was the only one of her kind and the other children avoided or mocked her because of that. They mocked her horns, her eyes, or called her a demon because they all have noticed how quick she would recover from her injuries. And the dwarf noted it too. 

The bruises she got from her fight with the elf boy had completely disappeared, just like nothing ever happened.

            From time to time, Korrilla thought of the moment she'll come back to the House of Hope. She was looking forward to reach her bedroom, take a bath and have a big drink of wine or anything which could make her forget her time as a tiny defenseless creature. But the time when she could finally reveal herself would come soon. 

When the sun went down and the sounds from the tavern could be heard, the horned creature headed to her bedroom. 

" I'm goin' to show you somethin' funny ", she said with a smile, " There's a place behind, with lots of people. I like watchin' them at night", she looked excited about it, " They drink, they laugh. They even sing and dance strangely sometimes "

But her enthusiasm vanished when she struggled to open the door of her room. She looked through the lock and saw something stuck inside, something she couldn't remove despite her attempts. She heard someone chuckle from the end of the corridor and saw the elf boy... He stood in the crack of his bedroom's door, grinning.

" Good night, goat, greet mum and dad for me ", he said before closing the door. The warlock mouse could feel the little girl's heart racing all of the sudden. She remained silent for a few seconds.

" ... Neve'mind ", she finally said, trying to keep her calm, " I have an idea ".

She went back downstairs, decided to open the main door to reach her bedroom from the outside, since her window was never really locked. She climbed on a chair to reach a pot on a furniture, looking for something inside. But her face quickly changed. 

" The key... ", she paused for a few seconds, "Someone took it... But it's alright... ", she murmured to herself.

The dwarf understood that she couldn't actually go out as she had planned to, and it was apparently a problem. She could feel that something was wrong, her face was calm but her eyes were sad and worried. Since they were alone, Korrilla thought it could be the right moment to take back her usual form, she was tired of being a rodent anyway. 

She jumped from her shoulder to the table nearby. The little girl quickly got off the chair, thinking the mouse fell down, but her eyes widened in an expression close to the fear when she saw the tiny animal turned herself into a humanoid being.

But surprisigly, it wasn't the warlock's transformation that worried her, but her simple presence.

" You.... You're not supposed to be here! ", she whispered, trying not to raise her voice despite her worry.

Korrilla was a bit taken aback with the girl's reaction, but she kept her composure and spoke quietly.

" I mean you no harm, I... "

" You must leave! ", interrupted the child who was losing her nerves. She didn't seem to be afraid of the warlock herself, but rather of what awaited her if it became known that she had let in a stranger. 

" I can help you ", the dwarf insisted, but the horned creature shook her head nervously. 

" You - " , she didn't finish her sentence. Her face froze as she heard footsteps getting closer from the street. She recognized this sound, she knew too well who it belonged to. Korrilla quickly transformed into a mouse again in order to hide and see what would happen next. Lurking in the shadows, she observed the scene, listening closely as the sound of a key in a lock could be heard, and the door opened. 

She recognized the person who entered: it was the woman she saw this morning, but she wasn't alone. A man, the same as the one of the portrait she saw earlier, was following her, his face stern and reddish, but he seemed even more upset when he saw the child in the middle of the living room. 

" What are ye doin' 'ere, freak ", he grumbled. He looked menacing, and so did the woman. 

" Go back to yer damn room, right fuckin' now ", she shouted at her.

The little girl was standing before them, her knees slightly shaking, "playing" with her fingers in a vain attempt to ease her nervousness.

" I... I cant, they blocked th- ", but she couldn't say more. The man slapped her face so hard she fell on the floor and Korrilla thought, for a moment, that the young girl had been knocked out, but she moved weakly.

" Don't answer back ! ", he yelled at her. 

She was holding her painful cheek, turning slowly her head so she could look up at him, a few silent tears rolling along her face.

But the bastard thought it was a defiance stare and got even more mad at her. He grabbed her neck, his fingers pressing her throat as she was now standing on tiptoes, trying to catch her breath and holding his big hand, desperately trying to make him ease his grip. Korrilla was still watching and her heart skipped a beat when she saw this huge guy attacking the fragile being. 

" He's going to kill her... ", she thought, a thousand scenarios racing through her mind. 

She wasn't sure it would be a good idea to take the girl with her to the House of Hope, since Raphael only wanted more information about her but nothing more. But she couldn't just... Leave ? 

In a fraction of a second, memories came back to her mind. The memories of her own past, her previous master... He was just like him, brutal, violent, threatening. Korrilla remembered how she felt when once, he was so angry that she thought he would eventually kill her and her sister. That was the night she met Raphael for the first time... 

The dwarf was suddenly brought back to reality when she heard the man shouted something.

" I dunno why we keep ya anyway, you piece of shit. Always disobeying, sneaking outside.. They said you would bring us a lot of money but you're nothin' but one more mouth to feed "

"They" ? Who "they" ? Korrilla wondered... But she didn't have any more time to think, she needed to act quickly. 

So she suddenly turned into her original form again, ready to strike. The imposent couple jumped, letting out a scream of surprise. Korrilla was standing there, menacing, with a flame in the palm of her hand.

" Get away from her ", she commanded sharply.

" Who the hell are ya ?! ", the man shouted, still holding the child.

" Get rid of her ! " yelled the woman at him.

But the dwarf had no patience for this now. She had spent the entire day as a mouse, in this miserable and dirty place, and clearly, she had enough of this. She threw a small fire ball at the man, precisely on his forearm so the young girl could break free from his grip. He screamed in pain, holding his injured arm as he took a step back.

" You bitch ! "

Korrilla put the horned girl behind her.

" This one is coming with me ", she said while an orange portal opened in their back.

" B-But you can't.. ! "

The woman stared at the couple, her gaze darkened as she put an index on her mouth.

" Sssh.... "

Then she turned on her heels to go through the portal, taking the girl with her. 

         Korrilla had no trouble bringing the young girl to the House of Hope. She's been living in unenviable conditions, and she needed nothing more than the promise of a new life to convince her to follow the dwarf.

When she saw the place for the first time, her eyes shone with admiration, because she couldn't imagine that there could be a more beautiful place in the world. Everything was luxury and excess, and the little girl didn't fail to notice the impressive amount of food which was on a large table. She felt her stomach growl at the mere sight of it. But her attention was quickly diverted when she had to face the master of the House: Raphael.

            The latter was in his library, sitting in a fancy chair, reading a book in front of a huge fireplace where a comforting fire burned. He looked up when he heard Korrilla's footsteps, and a surprised look appeared on his usually serious face. But he kept his composure as she approached with the young girl. 

He closed his book, put it on a pedestal table and stood up from his chair, taking a few steps forward. 

" What - ", he interrupted himself when he saw his warlock covered in dust and raised an eyebrow, " ... No matter "

He took a look at the tiny figure before him, his arms crossed, his chin resting on one of his fists.

" Korrilla, explain yourself... "

" It is a long story ", admitted Korrilla who was too tired to elaborate, " But I had no other choice but to bring her here ", she paused for a second or two, then added quickly, " At least, you can check if she really is what you think "

The devil's eyes slightly widened. That was her ? She looked so fragile, so vulnerable... The Cambion didn't expect her to be in such a bad condition.  

" Are you sure, Korrilla...? ", he asked, not convinced by the child. 

The dwarf nodded and did her best to hide her annoyance. She hadn't spent the entire day as a mouse to be doubted, she thought. 

" There is no mistake. Today was very... Instructive, I would say ", she answered, " Shinning blood, fast recovery... She looks like a miserable Tiefling but I can assure you that she's definitely more than that "

Raphael considered her words and leaned towards her to examine her better. She indeed looked like a Tiefling, but there were slight differences. Her horns were thinner, for example, and as the warlock told him the other day, she had no tail and none of those characteristic sharp traits at some places.

When their eyes met, the child didn't look away, fascinated by this stranger who had something both reassuring and threatening. That was also the first time she saw a devil and she couldn't help but stare at his wings.

" You don't look afraid of me, aren't you ? ", he finally said.

She looked at him again but didn't answer, not afraid but impressed nonetheless.

Raphael had the time to read more about the Dracanist people while he was alone, and he wanted to check something. He gently grabbed one of her horns between his thumb and index, checking its consistency. He could feel a discreet kind of vibration emanating from it, almost like a silent purr. There was some magic in it, he thought.

His face was less severe, but he needed another proof... This vibration thing wasn't common but it wasn't enough for him.

" Make her bleed ", the devil said.

Korrilla looked a bit surprised, she wasn't expecting him to ask such a thing now, even if it seemed logical.

" Just a scratch ", he added nonchalantly, noticing her sudden reluctance, " Needless to make a mess of her "

The woman approached her who was staring at her with an apprehensive look, but she remained perfectly still.

" It's going to be ok ", she whispered, taking her wrist in her hand. 

Raphael raised his eyes to heaven in her back, his arms crossed, he wasn't a very patient man sometimes. 

The warlock held the little girl's hand opened and pulled out a penknife from her pocket. The child watched her puting the blade on her palm without moving or saying anything, as if she was absent.

" Make it quick ", insisted the Cambion.

The dwarf took a breath and in one motion, she cut into the delicate flesh. 

The horned creature groaned in pain, her fingers twitching, but she didn't try to remove her hand. A few drops of blood fell on the floor, but the rest was like floating. Her eyes changed too, they were still red but... Different, like two scarlet lights in the dark, and her pupils were completely gone. It lasted until the bleeding stop.

" My my... ", Raphael said, suddenly delighted by what he was observing, " Now, that is interesting "

He put a knee down to take a closer look, grabbing her tiny hand and brushing his thumb over the fresh wound, making it sparkle and making her slightly tremble. The child frowned but did her best to hide her discomfort. Also, he could see the wound starting to close itself slowly already. 

The Devil looked at her again.

“ What is your name, little mouse? ”

She hesitated for a few seconds, intimidated.

" .... L... Luvia.. ", she replied in her small voice.

" That's quite a name. Well Luvia, welcome to the House of Hope "

             Then he snapped his fingers, and the child's rags changed into a fancy dress, with a dark blue tiny doublet with long red sleeves, decorated with golden details, reminiscent of Raphael's outfit. Her hair was clean, and her face was clear. It was as if she had taken a bath without realizing it.

                         “That’s better.”

To be continued...

Bonus: Chapter 2 first version

[inexplicablepeas]

So I realized that I never shared my Blood & Gold re-read thoughts due to shadow-ban issues on the old blog, thoughts under the cut! It's long!

It was interesting to read this immediately after TVA, it really highlighted Anne's talent for developing distinct voices for her characters as the two books are so different in structure and voice. Where TVA is fevered and rambling with tonnes of evocative metaphor this is logically ordered and somewhat detached. This has none of Lestat's conspiratorial chumminess interspersed with catastrophic existential crises, none of Louis' melancholy poeticism, we're just getting straight facts from Mr Marius . So Marius' voice is a bit drier than a lot of the other narrators in the chronicles but that does feel correct and it gives the book a bit of a cosier and more chill vibe than most of the other entries. It's like story time with Marius. 

It's interesting that this one isn't framed as a book being written for publication but as a quiet and private conversation between a lonely guy and a stranger who showed up on his door step happy to listen to him. I think that makes sense for Marius, he doesn't seem like he would publish his life story, he's too private and he would probably have been more tactful land less honest about certain things if it was for publication - less interesting for us!

You do still have to read a lot of his inner journey between the lines nonetheless. He's not really telling you how he was doing day to day after he abandoned Pandora entirely (following an argument about how to deal with the emerging cult of satan worshippers) then spent centuries in Rome pretending he wasn't dying for Avicus' (and Mael's?) company while letting partying mortals have run of his house as he painted the walls subconsciously with dozens of Pandora faces... but you can imagine, he's probably not feeling great!

It was fascinating to get more detail on how he was recruited to be keeper of the parents and to see his tense arms-length relationship with Mael play out over the years. Eudoxia is a great addition to the story as brief as her time in it is and getting his version of Armand's story is very welcome (and of course interesting to contrast with Armand's telling). Getting more Bianca was also welcome, she's such a big presence in TVA, I liked getting Marius' perspective there. 

I've got some of the same kind of complaints I had with TVA about what was left out. I guess that structuring a life story that spans millenia is no easy task and it's inevitable that some stuff is gonna get left out. Anne probably didn't want to rehash the same events form different perspectives over and over again but I really was disappointed that the narrative doesn't touch on his thoughts on his reunion with Armand in QotD, the brief Night Island coven times, how Daniel came to be in his care (???), his reaction to Armand's suicide attempt (!?), how was it that he and Santino ended up being the team on clean up duty together for that anyway (???), his reaction to learning that Armand was in fact alive(!) and his subsequent turning of Benji and Sybelle.

Marius:

And Pandora of course, I hadn't read her book at the time of reading this so I was disappointed about how little detail we get on the centuries they spent together. You can imagine his motivations for leaving a lot of this stuff out, it seems that some things are still too painful to talk about and he is also telling a specific story to a specific audience here (to influence a particular outcome, perhaps? *squints suspiciously at Marius*) so it makes sense for him to brush over or leave some things out entirely but it's not always the most satisfying result for a reader that's already invested in these characters and their stories.

The framing device with Thorne is great, I can't emphasize enough how immediately I fell in love with this guy, this stoic but sensitive viking titan of a vampire. I found the final chapter to be the most exciting really, I guess because where most of the story is Marius explaining from his perspective why he's alone (apart from Daniel who doesn't count because he's too obsessed with his model cities, sorry Daniel!), it's all a foregone conclusion where we're heading and we know what happens to most of the major characters but once we get back to Thorne's contemporary POV hey, anything can happen! And thanks to Thorne, stuff does happen! He's kind of the MVP of this book. We also get a teeny bit of Daniel in the framing chapters at the start of the book and hey, it's nice to see him alive and still sassy, if a little worse for wear.

Overall I find it a pretty enjoyable vampire chronicle. I do love the lore of Anne's vampire universe, how rich it is both with historical details and with her own world building and Marius is, of course, very key to it as guardian of the parents for millennia, so I do want to know everything about him and I'm glad this book was written to give us more of his story. His chronicle of his very lonely life, caused in no small part by his own stubbornness and terror of losing control is sad and often frustrating but I did find all of it a compelling read. He's a very strange guy and it really is fascinating to get more of his perspective, even if he doesn't quite have the zazz of a Lestat or the poetry of a Louis.

[aley-nag]

Bumpy road, pretty result

Whoaaaa. This one...

The next fanfiction I bound was Cinder and Smoke by @thelittleblackfox. I lover their work to pieces. They write incredible thought out Stucky!AU's with a lot of fantasy aspects or really good scifi and I wanted badly to do one of their fics, but waited til I was a little happier with my results and could make a pretty cover. We decided together on this one and I started formatting... And then I stopped for a long while because Word is the devil.

Cinder & Smoke is a western!AU and just about the most romantic thing I've ever read. It has yearning and a little angst and a very distinct vibe that feels like Fernweh and wilderness and change. Go read it!

I worked on it between June and December 23 and Christmas was the only reason I finished it this quickly, but I did not want to leave it unfinished for the turn of the year.

Sadly I don't have a lot of pictures, but when I'm finished with my copy I'll post some more.

Now we'll come to the journey it was to finish this!

It started out rather uncomplicated, because I thought I had gotten the hang of formatting and then, when I tried adjusting the font and overall look of the text body Word kept killing the italics. And I googled and tried and experimented and I just couldn't get it to stop. I was so frustrated, oh god. It put me off a little and I had to leave it for a while. When I came back around to it I found a slightly butchered solution, that works though so I won't question it. After that formatting went smoother and I was able to bind it. I used paper from that same supplier that fucked up my paper order for the covers from the notebooks. But only after I had it printed I noticed that it was cut crooked and wouldn't cleanly fold in half. I despaired a little, said fuck it and hoped it wouldn't be to noticeable. I think it's alright.

Binding went really well and I think that's the cleanliest job I did to this date.

Did the endbands by hand to match the color scheme I was aiming for. Because of the title I wanted to invoke fire and used primarily black and red for the coloring.

Then came the cover. First of all, don't use black bookcloth. You will see every. single. mistake. Also dust and glitter... I brushed this thing so often, you wouldn't believe it.

And I tried different vinyl. I couldn't find the right shade of red I wanted, it's a little hard to source it around here so I went an entirely different route and used golden glitter vinyl. What I didn't know until after I plotted the design: The glitter has texture. I couldn't see a single cut-line. I had to keep the picture open to work along the edges and not rip the letters. Still lost all of the i-points 😭

The flower was pretty easy though. Glueing it on was also quite hard because it just wouldn't hold and I got glitter everywhere. Which let to more brushing but I'm afraid mailing it destroyed all that work :D

Anyway. I am sooo happy with how it turned out I instantly forgot about all annoyances and was able to mail it before the end of the year and that was a really satisfying last project, so all is well :)

This was also the first time I had the idea of choosing a little icon for the author's penname because most of the time I don't have enough space for the entire name. I reworked all of the other books to accomodate that.

Binding Details

Body Text: Garamond, 11

Half Title/Chapter Heading: Gold Lines Trial, 20

Full Title: Carnivalee Freakshow, 48

Word Count: 57.197

Pages: 232

Paper: publishing paper A4, 90g, 1,5x volume (from the retailer from hell :/)

[withclawandvine]

GOT LOVESTRUCK, WENT STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD — might as well be drunk in love

summary: Elain was supposed to be in paradise with her fiancè, not alone at an airport bar, held hostage by a storm. Lucien was only supposed to be in Las Vegas for a few days on business, before flying back home on the Vanserra jet. They weren’t supposed to meet, but fate is funny like that.

read on ao3: ch. 1 | ch. 2

author’s note: hello, yes i am finally here with chapter two of my @elucienweekofficial fic!! (please clap)

When Elain woke up, she was finely dusted with gold glitter. It decorated the backs of her hands and trailed up her arms. When she sat up and rolled her stiff neck, a shower of gold flakes fell from her hair into her lap and the soft cream leather of the seat under her. 

Her first thought was that she’d somehow managed to catch that 6:00 a.m. flight in a drunken stupor. 

Her second thought was that there was no way she was on a Delta aircraft. Her seat was fully reclined and far too comfortable. The interior was warmly lit and spacious — there were only six front-facing seats. The rest of the cabin was reserved for a long couch-like seat, and a table with four chairs. 

One of which was occupied. 

A mass of tangled, gold-dusted red hair spilled over the glossy dark wood. Softly snoring and slumped face first into his crossed arms, Elain couldn’t see the man’s face, but she didn’t have to see to know that she was on a private jet with Lucien Vanserra. The man from the Las Vegas airport. 

But why…

The memories that came back to her were few, hazy, and gilded.

The burnished gold fountain was at least three times Elain’s height and ornately sculpted, lit in such a way that the streaming water looked like it was ablaze. It was the centerpiece of a cavernous atria, lined with lush plants in marble pots and floors so shiny you could see your reflection. She had been expecting something… kitschier. Themed after another country, or neon. 

She stopped walking to take it all in, mouth slightly ajar. Lucien continued toward the concierge’s desk, a small station at the back of the room, not to distract from the splendor. Her suitcase hobbled noisily behind him, looking older and shabbier than ever before.

 How could letting her stay for free at a place like this be no trouble at all? 

It took Lucien a few paces to realize Elain was no longer in step with him. He threw a quizzical look over his shoulder. “Coming?” 

“I…” Elain shook her head, self-conscious and disbelieving. “I really can’t ask you to do this.” 

“Then it’s a good thing I’m offering.” 

It had taken that offer, insistence, and a call to the front desk on speakerphone to convince Elain to step out of the shelter of the airport and into an Uber. Then it had taken Lucien the entire slow, cautious drive to the Strip to convince her that he didn’t expect anything in return. 

After checking — or rather, simply picking up room keys from the woman working the desk and informing her comp both under his business account — Lucien turned to Elain with a satisfied smile. He offered her a key, but as she made to grab her suitcase, he pulled it to his side, just out of her reach. 

“Before you go,” he said, nodding to his right. “Would you care to join me for a drink?” 

Her eyes followed the direction he indicated and spotted the entrance to a dimly-lit restaurant that looked like it had a dress code. One that did not include pastel athleisure. As if reading the thought on her face, Lucien waved a careless hand, “Nobody will say anything.” 

The In front of me, anyway, was heavily implied. 

Elain simply nodded, but the Who are you? was heavily implied.

—

The beam of light that came from uncovering the small window by her seat felt like taking daggers through both eyes. Squinting through the pain, Elain could see that the clouds were thin and sparse, and the sun was high, reflecting on the expanse of blue below. 

She slammed the shade back down and began rifling through her travel backpack. 

While she hadn’t been expecting to find some sort of key to understanding where the hell she was, she was still disappointed to find only what she’d packed: headphones, a half-empty water bottle, her phone — now dead — and then, mercifully, the rectangular pill organizer. 

It was still stocked from a trip to Aspen, which meant there was still plenty of Dramamine and Tums, set aside for Graysen and his nervous gut. Perhaps it was her preoccupation with everything else — including but not limited to waking up on a new acquaintance’s private plane — but seeing it didn’t send the same ache clanging through her as reminders of him normally did. 

The seatbelt sign was off, so she got up and shuffled over to the table where the acquaintance in question was still passed out. 

She wasn’t the only one covered in glitter; the gold flecks made his hair seem to burn like the sun right before the night chased it away. The many wrinkles in his white button-down were emphasized by the gold settling into every dip and divot. 

Up close like this, she could hear his soft snores, watch how each one rustled the strands of stray hair falling in his face. 

Only when she caught sight of her hand hovering in the space between them did Elain realize she’d been reaching to brush them away. 

For no discernable reason, Elain took a full step back before reaching out and prodding at him with a finger.  

Nothing. 

She put her whole hand into it, cupping a surprisingly strong shoulder and giving it a shake, which first yielded a grumble of protest, then a  a cloddish attempt at shrugging her off, and then finally, a cracked eyelid. 

Lucien blinked once, twice. Slowly at first, then a few more times in rapid succession. Elain knew when she finally came into clear focus, because he bolted upright — immediately wincing. 

“Good morning.” She said, and handed over her pocket pharmacy. 

—

The stout crystalline tumbler in front of Lucien held a generous pour of golden whiskey, neat. 

Elain thought back to her initial surprise that he hadn’t ordered one at the airport bar, and was a little satisfied to now know that her assessment of him hadn’t been entirely wrong. But more than that, she was thrilled by the idea that he might have requested the same drink as her as an excuse to talk to her.  

Not that he would have needed one. Lucien was, as Elain was learning, a fantastic conversationalist. Not just a smooth-talker, but an active listener. It was hard to tell if it was the alcohol or Lucien himself that made it so easy to open up. To tell him all the ugly little details about Graysen ending things with her within the same calendar year of her father’s passing.  

“Because,” she paused, holding up a finger for dramatic effect, “and I quote: You just aren’t yourself anymore, Ellie.” 

Lucien’s nose scrunched with distaste. “What a douche.” 

Elain shrugged noncommittally. It was easier to see that in hindsight, but it was still hard to agree when someone else said so. Being aware somehow made it all the more embarrassing, knowing she’d been blind to it for so long. 

“It may not seem like it now, but he did you a favor,” he said. “You could do much better.” 

Looking at his handsome face in the amber glow of the bar lights, she got the feeling he was right. The way he was leaning on the table, with his chin propped up by a fist, reminded Elain of the hero in a historical romance; raised on etiquette but pointedly ignoring it — rakish and impossibly charming. And still, he was eloquent, and asked thoughtful questions, and didn’t check his phone once while she described her work on the biggest wetland restoration project on the West Coast. 

It was… attractive. In a way that Elain wasn’t entirely prepared for and had no idea what to do about. It had been years since she’d flirted with anyone — she had met Graysen in undergrad, right before he dropped out to join his friend’s startup, and hadn’t been interested in anyone since. 

Not that it mattered. There was hardly a point in trying to charm a man she wouldn’t see after tonight. But at the same time, it was encouraging. Even if she crashed and burned, she’d never have to face him again. 

So Elain tilted her head in that way that had always made Graysen lose his train of thought. “And, am I doing better now?”

The grin that overtook Lucien’s face was borderline wolfish, and his tone was pure invitation, “I think that’s for you to decide.” 

It was not so much of a decision as it was a knee-jerk reaction, but Elain sat up straight. She hadn’t even realized how much she’d been leaning in. If she had been on a cliff’s edge, instead of a booth in an upscale hotel bar, she’d have plummeted to her death by now. 

She needed to steer them back to more solid ground. Clearing her throat, she asked, “What kind of business does your family do? With this place, I mean.” 

In all fairness, Elain was genuinely very interested to know what sort of position would grant him the power to bequeath a near-perfect stranger with a top-floor suite. And while she could admit that it hadn’t been her most graceful segue, she wasn’t convinced it was such an unskilled attempt that it justified Lucien blatantly laughing at her.  

Elain felt herself go hot from her collarbones to the tips of her ears, but she wasn’t sure if it was from the embarrassment of being laughed at, or a reaction to the laugh itself. Lucien laughed with his entire body — head thrown back, shoulders shaking, unapologetically loud and mirthful. Either way, she hoped he would attribute it to the three gin and tonics she’d drained. 

As it turned out, Lucien Vanserra was a proper blue blood; his ancestors were there when William Mulholland brought water to Los Angeles, and became the landlords of one of the most expensive cities in the world, before branching out to Sin City. 

This hotel was one of the first on the Strip, back in the forties. And for a long time, the only luxury hotel in Las Vegas, making it popular with the rich and famous. Elain recalled seeing a late-night special about Hollywood starlet Lidia Cervos and Ruhn Danaan’s torrid affair. They’d made headlines when the actress broke her long-term engagement with her former co-star and eloped with the up-and-coming musician, all in a matter of days. 

“They said this hotel is where they stayed to hide out from the press.”  

“It is,” Lucien nodded. “And that chapel is just down the block from here, actually.”  

—

“I was too drunk to remember my personal,” Lucien explained with a wince, opening the Outlook app. “I remember just handing the woman a business card.” 

Despite his jokes about being a glorified errand-boy for the family business, he received a tidal wave of emails. He had to scroll past dozens of them — none of which were spam, from what Elain could tell — before he found one from A Pair o’ Hearts Wedding Chapel.

The first attachment to load was a photocopy of a certificate of marriage.  

The loopy scribble at the bottom of the page looked more like a child’s rendition of a roller coaster track than her signature, snaking up and down the dotted line.  

Looking at it now, the dot over the I could pass for a car, disconnected from the track below and headed for disaster. Elain knew the feeling, and when she spared a glance at Lucien, she felt she wasn’t the only one.

Before either of them could say anything, the other image appeared.

Framed by a kitschy, heart-shaped arbor,  a man in a rumpled, two-piece suit dips a woman a dramatic kiss, amidst a cloud of gold confetti and glitter. Elain didn’t have to look down at her leggings and well-worn crewneck to confirm that that was her in the picture, knee bent at Lucien’s hip, supported by a splayed hand. His other hand disappeared into her hair, cradling the back of her head, as her back arched, relying heavily on his forearm for support.

Elain stared at the picture, trying desperately to remember that moment, to remember anything that happened after they left the hotel bar. 

They’re smiling into each other’s lips — big, toothy grins — and if Elain didn’t know better, she really would think the photographer really had captured the happiest day of somebody’s life. That getting married in athleisure to a man in a designer suit had been an intentional style choice. 

Elain took the liberty of dragging her thumb and pointer finger apart across the phone screen, zooming in on their bodies, introducing more details: the damp, rain-flecked clothes, her frizzy hair. 

All at once, she remembered the shock of the cold droplets on her face, racing down her back, contrasted by the warmth of Lucien’s hand in hers as they ran down the block. 

They say it’s a good omen! he’d shouted over the rain, their splashing footfalls. 

What is? 

Rain! On your wedding! 

Beside her, Lucien let out a long breath that turned into something of a dry laugh by the end. “Well, shit.” 

Elain couldn’t have said it better herself. 

—

Elain wasn’t even sure what Lucien was talking about when she interrupted him. But he was so handsome and so animated, and the temptation to kiss him had been overwhelming. 

She reared back, eyes wide with surprise, as if she’d been the one to get kissed mid-sentence. 

Lucien, meanwhile, was too busy looking smug to be shocked — a crooked smirk slowly on his face as Elain buried hers in her hands to block it out. Her cheeks felt hot against her palms for the whole two seconds she was shielded behind them, before Lucien wrapped gentle fingers around her wrists, guiding her hands away. 

“I’m sorry.” She blurted, grimacing. “I don’t normally do this. I just…” 

“Had to make an exception?” he interrupted, that smirk spreading into a full-blown grin.

Simply seeing she hadn’t upset him put Elain back at ease. She schooled her expression into solemnity, shaking her head a little. “You gave me no choice, really.” 

“It’s honestly my fault,” he agreed, leaning back in. “Forgive me?” 

The kiss was clumsy and tasted like whiskey, which Elain had never been fond of, but the heat of Lucien’s mouth and the spice on his tongue was tempting her to reconsider. 

Her hands on his chest and feeling his heart race under her palm had her walking back on her stance on public displays of affection, and the gentle way he held her face had her rethinking her newfound belief she would die alone. Elain pulled back and looked at him, thinking about Feyre’s weak stomach and the storm. Omens, she’d thought at the time, sent to warn her about disasters — of the natural or the supernatural sort. 

But now she wasn’t so sure. Now, she was thinking that maybe all of that had happened so she would wind up here. 

Here, at this hotel that was only a stone’s throw from the most storied wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

Elain had never considered herself to be particularly fanciful. But if this moment had taught her anything, it was that most of her previously held beliefs were nothing if not malleable. And that maybe she should also reconsider her commitment to being grounded and sensible all the time. 

“Lucien,” she said, clumsily reaching out and cupping his cheeks, mirroring his hold on her. He was alight with amusement, but Elain was suddenly feeling very serious. “Do you believe in fate?”

[snek-panini]

Today is a day for books. Or one book, anyway. This is Close to Home, So Far Away, a Good Omens fic by Mercury Starlight. It's a memory loss/alteration fic with a lot of angst (for real, mind the tags if you decide to give this one a try) but oh my gosh, it's wonderful. Tasty tasty angst. It is unfinished but don't let that deter you, the biggest angstiest plotline is resolved enough to be satisfying. The last update was in 2021, so it's a pre-season 2 kind of angst instead of the new canon flavor.

I love the way the cover came out on this one. It's gold HTV on dark green book cloth and I'm in love with the simplicity. It reminds me of the very pretty books I find in used book stores sometimes, that have enchanting covers but are often either impenetrable to read, very fragile, or out of my budget. But this one is none of those things, it's exactly as compelling as its cover makes it seem. There were originally supposed to be more gold swirly bits in the corners but I made the lines too thin and my cricut ate them. I thought about re-cutting them but I liked the way it looked without them so much I just left them off.

More pics under the cut!

This is a coptic binding, which is my preferred style for unfinished fics. The spine has no covering and no glue, so technically if the author decides to update it again I can cut the stitching, add more pages, and re-stitch for an updated book without having to make an entirely new one. The downside is that glue can help mitigate swell at the spine, and without it I had issues. I squished this thing for days, it got very flat, and it fluffed right back up again after stitching. The book is about 250 pages and I think that's the upper limit using the methods and materials I have. I want to try it again with short grain paper and see if that helps.

Downside to coptic binds: you can see right through them in between signatures, and when you're used to other types of books it sends a panicked "my book is broken!" signal to the brain.

Upside to coptic binds: pretty colorful stitches down the center of each signature. I love how the bronze looks with the green cover and the shiny cover lining. Because there's no glue in the text block you can't do regular endpapers here. I think this is called a doublure.

Title page, first chapter, and a new thing I tried. All the art assets came from rawpixel. The thing on the first chapter page is the extra swirly bit that was supposed to go on the cover. I think I made it too big here? I'm not sure. Graphic design is not my passion and I am learning it only reluctantly XD The last image is unique to this fic. There's a reference to a specific form in the story, which the author created and linked as a PDF, and I really wanted to include it, so I put it in an appendix at the end. I really like having it there and plan to incorporate more stuff like it in future binds, if I can.

I think that's it for this bind! I hope you like it, @yeswevegotavideo!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Manga ch.51-54

Dragon Ball fans will read a comic like this and be like “It’s about time they let the supporting characters do something for a change!” even when “something” is “getting clobbered by henchmen.”

So last time, Moro defeated everyone on New Namek and consumed the planet’s life force.  Goku, Meerus, and Majin Buu narrowly escaped via Instant Transmission, while Vegeta hitched a ride on Merus’ GP ship, then hijacked it and made the pilot take him to Planet Yardrat. 

Moro doesn’t particularly care what the good guys do from here, since he no longer sees them as a threat.  He’s content to let them run loose in the universe until he’s ready to consume their power.  In the meantime, he’s got his army of escaped space crooks, and he sends them to find worlds with plenty of ki energy for him to eat.  Their first target is Zoon, the homeworld of Pui Pui and a bunch of crewmen from Babidi’s spaceship.  The criminals loot the planet of its treasures, then Moro shows up to devour its energy.  Then they move on to the next world.

However, this particular group of crooks is only feigning loyalty to Moro, so when they scout a planet, they just loot it and tell the others that it was a dry well.  Then they get the bright idea to loot Earth, since they heard that it has a supply of “blue aurum” or “sky gold”, a precious metal used for spaceship propulsion. 

Meanwhile, Goku spars with Merus because he’s curious about Merus’ powers.  There’s a special training room in GP headquarters, but it’s not reinforced to handle Goku beyond Super Saiyan 3.  Nonetheless, Goku is satisfied that Merus has powers and abilities that he doesn’t understand, which means Merus might be able to train him, which could help him refine his control over Ultra Instinct.  Goku thinks UI could turn the tide against Moro, except he doesn’t know how to activate Ultra Instinct at will.  Merus agrees, and takes Goku to a Hyperbolic Time Chamber where three days pass on the inside for every one day on the outside.  The time dilation isn’t as great as the Chamber on Earth, but Merus is only interested in using it because he can cut loose in there without anyone knowing about it. 

Meanwhile, Vegeta meets the Yardratti master who taught Goku Instant Transmission, a guy named Pybara.  The Yardratti look different in this comic because I guess Toyotaro wasn’t sold on how they looked in the anime, but he still included the anime design, and wrote a throwaway line about how there’s multiple types of Yardratti. 

Anyway, in DBZ, Goku said that they knew lots of neat techniques, but Pybara explains here that they really only deal in a single study-- Ki Control-- which can be applied in a multitude of ways: Teleportation, duplication, size changing, etc. 

While Goku and Vegeta train, the Galactic Patrol struggles to deal with the unfolding crisis.  They send Jaco to Earth to deputize more fighters into the Patrol.  What he doesn’t know is that Piccolo has already caught the bunch who came to loot the Earth of its sky gold, and he failed to stop them from sending out a distress signal to Moro.

I think I’m up to Volume 11 of the manga.  It ends with a bonus comic where Goku and Vegeta explain the plot of the Broly movie to Meerus. 

Jaco briefs Dragon Team on the group of criminals Moro sent to investigate the first group’s disappearance.  Moro doesn’t particularly care about the first group, but he figures if they got captured on Earth then, there must be some decent power there worth absorbing.  Jaco knows the next group, but in particular, he’s concerned about an android called Seven Three.  He has a copy ability that he activates by grabbing a victim by the neck.  Once he does that, he can imitate the victims entire moveset for thirty minutes.  They’re supposed to be ten days away by spaceship, but Seven Three last used his copy power on a planet of Sonic the Hedgehog guys, and it turns out they can make warp portals, so he arrives early.

So Seven Three manages to copy Piccolo’s powers, which forces Piccolo into a veritable stalemate.  Then Gohan shows up and turns the tide, because he’s more powerful than Piccolo and he knows Piccolo’s moves so well.  Seven Three tries a Hellzone Grenade on Gohan and he just slips out of is and catches Seven Three unaware.

Gohan manages to get the upper hand, but before he can finish Seven Three off, he switches powers.  Turns out he can save power-sets that he copied earlier, and one of them was Moro’s.  So now Gohan has to fight a guy with all of Moro’s abilities, and Moro made short work of Goku and Vegeta. 

But the real Moro learns that Earth is where Goku and Vegeta came from, and that they’ll return eventually, and Moro decides he’d rather postpone the attack on Earth until then.  So he orders his goons with withdraw and plans to return two months later.  This is relayed to Merus, and then to Goku. 

Meanwhile, Whis visits his father, the Grand Minister, and asks about Merus.  Apparently he’s not what he seems, or something.  I... sort of don’t care, to be honest.  

This arc is really all over the place.  The basic conflict is overly simplistic: Moro wants to eat all life energy in the universe and no one is powerful enough to stop him.  And yet we have all these subplots going on, most of which don’t really matter in the long run.  The fight on Earth was pointless, since Moro has nothing to win or lose, and then he just calls off the battle so he can do it again later.  The whole thing with Majin Buu apparently went nowhere.  I liked the idea of calling back to the Grand Supreme Kai, but none of it actually mattered.  Now we’ve got this whole mystery surrounding Merus, but what difference does it make?  He can’t beat Moro, and if he’s a double-agent, it doesn’t matter, because Moro has no need for such things.

[eurydicees]

If you don't mind me asking, can I ask your top favorite fics that you've written (feel free how much that you want to list)? Why they're special to you? Is there a specific inspiration when you wrote them?

Thanks if you want to answer.....

yes you can absolutely ask!!! apologies for taking so long to answer!

i honestly am really proud of most of my fics, so it was unexpectedly hard to choose my top ones. but here r my top fics of mine, in order of oldest to newest:

a reflection on being empty, being whole, & being in love (tamakyo)

this was written at a time when i was in particular struggling w my own racial identity, and being able to sort through it via tamaki was super cathartic. i'm really proud of the writing overall, but i'm also just really proud of myself for beginning to put all of my emotions re: race and sexuality into words. it's also part 2 of the first ouran fics i wrote, and the response i got was so overwhelmingly kind that i just had to keep writing for them :)

the path to gold is paves with the bones of the monsters that came before us (sakuatsu, iwaoi)

aaa i love this one. i'm genuinely so proud of it. it was one of those fics that just kinda comes to you and that you have to get out immediately or you'll die. i spent a few days nonstop working on this instead of answering work emails (rip) but 100% worth it. i'm really proud of the character arcs in this story, and, with it being so much about passion and burnout and dreaming, it also just means a lot to me personally.

sutures (iwaoi)

i love the structure of this one, both writing-wise, character-wise, and plot-wise. it's hard to talk about this one, but i think about it sometimes. this was written when i realized i needed a fic like it, and i'm really proud of it.

fragments of moments in which you love him (tamakyo)

another tamakyo one, but a little more experimental. i'm really proud of the way i shaped this narrative, and the way i played with form and structure to do it. i totally forget what the inspiration to write it was, but i'm happy i did.

lifespan of the sparrow, caged versus free (iwaoi)

this one is among the least popular on the list, which like. that's fair. it's tagged with animal death and no one wants to read that. 100% understood. that being said, i'm really proud of this. it was one of the several fics that was entirely handwritten and then typed up later. this one in particular went through a LOT of editing, which isn't something i usually do, so that was an interesting process, but i'm really satisfied with the way it turned out. it's not as personal to me as some of the others on the list, but i do think it's some of the best writing and narratives i've done.

the man who moved oceans to find home and the one who swallowed his raw heart whole (iwaoi)

this one took me more than a year to write, and you can tell lol. it went through so much care and love from the moment i wrote the first scene to the moment it was published. this took everything in me to write, and it kinda got away from me in terms of length, but i'm so proud of what it became. i think it's some of the best character and relationship development/work i've done, and i just think everyone should read it. i'm just so genuinely happy with where this went.

a brief and unofficial history of the stars (tamakyo)

another one completely handwritten! hehe. anyways i really love this one. i'm proud of how beautiful the language became and all the metaphors and i'm really really satisfied with it. i'm also really excited by kyoya's character in this, because so much of it is about him as a person as opposed to him as someone in love with tamaki, which is often what he becomes in my fics. so i'm really proud of that.

to find something holy in the horror of your body (iwaoi)

this one is really personal to my life and experience and gender. everything i feel about gender is so deeply superimposed into this fic that sometimes i think about it and think i just wrote about my experience and called it iwaizumi's life. which is not 100% true, i do think i did well in staying with his character rather than it being a self-insert, but still a lot of this is about what i feel. so this one is incredibly personal. i'm also really excited by the structure of this one; this is a premise i've been playing with for a while, but this is the first way i've figured out how to write it down that works. it's one of two (2) fics that i've ever shown irl people, so that just further confirms how proud i am of it (the other one was the first tamakyo fic on this list lol).

ty for asking! this was such a fun list to make <3

[bryastar]

word salad #12

oh shoot I'm back edition!

alrighty so, hi, it's been a bit. so I guess I should explain my absence a bit but I ended up getting a certain respiratory illness which included trouble breathing, headaches, nausea, fatigue, and it was so bad that it took me out for basically an entire week.....

yeah pneumonia isn't fun

anyway......

what have I been up to that hasn't been staying in bed all day while doom scrolling way too far in TikTok...

probably a tiny thing here but I reorganized my ipad icons a bit, keeping all the drawing apps on one screen (plus the battery info for the pencil), socials on the next, and games at the end. seems less overwhelming....and cuz I like the background art ^^; (art by @wavecipher)

solar eclipse! we had to drive out an hour towards the path of totality to be able to see it, but honestly this was one of the coolest experiences I've ever got to witness! pictures don't do it full justice and it's really hard to describe the mood. just being able to witness the moon slowly creeping in front of the sun slowly while experiencing this beautiful mix of daytime and nighttime vibes simultaneously....aaaa! I was really sad before I wasn't able to see much of the 2017 eclipse previously and I wanted to make certain it worked out this year, and just so happened that everything lined up perfectly (teehee) to be able to see this! (top pic taken by amber, the others by me)

butts! I ended up using a combination of pose to pose and straight ahead animation here. I wanted to try and push myself with this and experiment, and I'm discovering a bit that I enjoy doing things like water splooshes. down the line I wanna touch on more things like water ripples or fire animation too.

all of this happened before I got sick and bedridden and I was a bit worried that I would lost the drive to anima--

nope! still got it! I'm pretty happy with how this came out! I asked for a random object and a random action at home and got "apple" and "jumping" and I decided to add the bit at the end with it bonking and bruising itself. I used a mix of drawing individual frames, but also simple subtle transforms when the change was minimal anyway to streamline the work just a bit.

I originally struggled with getting the impact to look right. adding a smoke cloud and simulating a camera shake seemed to help with that (which I struggled originally because I tried to keyframe it in capcut but because it's animated of twos that came off weird and the earthquake effect didn't satisfy me either so I had to just manually move everything in toonsquid...which ended up taking less time overall anyway) I especially like the doubling/smear frame I made right before it hits the ground.

I think improvements I wanna make is planning out the facial expressions more. there is a point where the apple realizes it loses balance but I think it happens way too fast to be properly noticible at full speed. also I did abuse the transform tool juuust a bit much at the end so maybe I'll stick with reserving that for ease in and outs.

lately I've been in a bit of a Starfox kick. I ended up finding the N64 cartridge at a game shop (only $40 USD which was definitely a bit cheaper than I was expecting for a first party title) and I'm honestly really impressed with how well it looks compared to the NSO version on switch, particularly with transparency effects, colours seem bolder (the gold rings in particular stand out more), and how smooth the game runs overall (with occasional but expected slowdowns in certain areas). also the voice samples seem to sound more accurately to a radio signal. I also wanna see if I can get the 3ds version of SF64 sometime too and compare that.

alrighty so apologies for the extra word salading this time around but there was a lot to catch up on. hopefully I can keep up a bit more as I start to get back towards 100%

🦊🐦🐰🐸

[iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid]

I recently reread you REVENGERS show story and I just wanted to praise you about how incredibly well written and entertaining it is.

The asgardian funeral scene with "Æ og du" playing? GOLD. Literally made me tear up while reading it for like 7th time.

Loki using his magic to heal Thor's eye and just them TALKING?? On GOD that shit was beautiful! I LIVE for those two and their chaotic but loving sibling dynamic.

Eris being a buddy of Groot and Rocket? Fantastic! Gives her character so much rich history and makes her overall feel more connected and well-grounded in that universe. It's the little details man

And now to a personal highlight of the story to me:

The interactions between Loki and Bruce/Hulk.

Just the way Loki is weary of the Hulk, as is Banner of Loki, yet they still are low-key fascinated by each other. Like when Loki did a double take when Hulk told him he knows he's hiding something. Or when Banner was trying to make peace with Loki in the hallway and offered to be friends. They even somewhat care about each other's wellbeing to the point where Loki tries not to hurt Hulk when he... hulked-out and even APOLOGIZES to him for using the tesseract on him, or Bruce's first fear after waking up is that he may have killed Loki. They have such an interesting dynamic. Are they reluctant teammates? Are they starting to honestly care about each other? Who the hell knows! All I know is I'm rooting for Loki to find a friend that actually likes him for who he is. And if that friend happens to be Banner/Hulk, then that gets extra pluspoints from me. Can you imagine Tony's reaction to that tho?

AHHHH so okay first of all, thank you for this message, it made my morning. and it's beautifully timed because coincidentally, i ALSO just reread the entire revengers series! i've been trying to wrangle the remaining plot points into some kind of order where everything makes sense and flows in a satisfying way (like, i know almost everything that i want to happen, just not how and when to make it happen) but i think i'm finally making some headway!

re: the thor and loki talk, the very first moment of quiet in the plot came along and i was like AH YES finally time to address the fact that thor's best friends are all dead! but i liked making it not about heartache and grief so much as it was about remembrance, you know? i feel like asgardians have an interesting relationship with grief since, like, valhalla is supposedly a real actual place. it's just neat. and also obviously i needed an excuse for thor and loki to have a..... sort of genuine heart-to-heart. emotionally stunted brothers style, anyway

and maaan oh man i'm SO glad you like bruce and loki's interactions! because they've become some of my favorite scenes to write! loki was terrified of the hulk in ragnarok only to be like "hello bruce 😌" when he sees him next, which was fucking hilarious to me and absolutely required that i expand on these two. and for bruce it's like... you know when the brother of one of your closest friends is also the guy who was responsible for a literal mass casualty event in new york? the same guy that you then pounded into a tile floor like a pit bull with a stuffed animal? but he's, like, a god, so he survived and then he did some time in prison and now he's sort of on your guys' side and also living on a spaceship with you? yeah? you know that feeling? we've all been there, right?

here's the real question: was bruce's worry about whether he killed loki as the hulk about not wanting to kill anyone as the hulk, or was it because he's starting to genuinely care about loki's wellbeing? who knows! bruce certainly doesn't! regardless, they WILL be close friends by the end of spending nearly two years on a spaceship together. you really can't not, and they have so much in common! do you think loki might be able to relate to being something destructive and monstrous and terrifying? and hating that part of yourself and wanting to get rid of it? ugh god i have one line in particular that i've been sitting on and DYING to use between the two of them (fun fact: this line is the one that prompted a friend over DMs to say "sam i am chasing you with a knife" so. do with that what you will) and i swear it's coming.... eventually 👀

oh and tony WILL be completely and utterly gobsmacked by it lmao, they finally land on earth after two years and they're in the middle of introducing the Loki Problem™ to american (or norwegian?) authorities, and tony's there because it's avengers related so of course he's there, and loki says some offhand thing under his breath that makes bruce just fucking lose it, like, choking trying not to laugh in the middle of this very important diplomatic meeting and tony's like. oh sure, the mass murderer is funny now. he tells jokes. cool. cool cool cool hey, just wondering, did i enter an alternate reality just now? am i finally losing it? bruce? had any weird interactions with a mind stone lately? buddy? the fuck?

anyway. yeah. i'm itching to write more of this, and trust me, i have been :)

[shamsshamousa]

Figured that writing down my thoughts here is better than posting it on TikTok.

Ok

I recently expressed my frustration when trying to do research surrounding Islamic Egypt, specifically about Egyptians. This is a branch in the overall frustration that I’ve faced. Despite it all there’s a sense of catharsis when i struck gold with the visuals/clothes but they’re shallow and lack context.

Anyway

I’ll walk through my thought process about this character I’ve designed

1) STARTING POINT

Just for some context, her inspiration is a bit of a mess as I kept changing her from being Khaleeji coded to Egyptian coded as I was trying to figure out what kind of character I wanted her to be. The only consistent thing is her family gatekeeping powerful artefacts that a falling apart with some characters that’s a larger aspect of her character arc. There was this one song I kept playing on repeat because it just fit her so much and it felt so good imaging beats of her story arc to it lol.

A bit of a fun fact: i’ve been reconsidering whether she’s a necessary character anyways, even though she has close relationships with the characters, I feel myself falling into some traps and I’ve started questioning her character’s purpose but that’s probably because of the media I’m currently exposed to, hate to admit it but I’m so easily influenced like that.

Ok back to it

Design wise she’s a bit of a mess not very happy with it but it ties back to me struggling to find references. In all fairness me going back and forth between Arab/Egyptian and sometimes Ottoman(Turkish) didn’t really help.

I’m not entirely sure when the design on the left came to be and looking at procreate canvas info isn’t very useful but the starting point was the girl in the middle who resembles another character who I was happy with (at the time), I wasn’t very fond of her design because I felt like she looked a bit too girly and young, this is very much a reoccurring Skill Issue for me, but the main pain point was how … generic she looks and a bit modern. The other is that she felt very disconnected from other characters who I designed at the time such as this character (Shayma’) below who is quite integral to her story but is also her childhood friend. I felt like it was imperative that they felt like they belonged in the same kingdom and social class.

Shamya’s has a lot more thought put into her and I used many references, at the time she had the design that I was most satisfied with but now I feel like I need to rework it a bit because I dont’ want her to feel like a 1:1 copy of the pictures I used. Something I’m struggling with.

So I went back to the drawing board and with some research and hoarding pics on Pinterest ended up with the reference on the left. IIRC I wanted her to be more..Arab I was unsure about how i wanted this fictional world (or at least kingdom) to come off as; I believe the main inspiration was from non-description Arab/Islamic soldier illustrations. I wanted to hint at her potential fighter side and many of them often have a cape as is often the case in many historical Arab fighter depictions.

The colours are very random idk why I picked those.

With respect to her robe, I wanted my characters to feel like they were related, at the time it was imperative that the MC felt like she belonged to the same kingdom as the rest.

The sleeves being inspired by an illustration on Fatimid plate (x)but mostly Mameluke illustration

Again I’m honestly not sure which one came first but the MC’s design is more inspired by Mameluke manuscripts and other historical Egyptian-Islamic garnements. I’d like to think that the queen’s design followed up from the MC’s but there’s also a real possibility that I just saw a few pictures and went “good enough” irrespective of the MC. Her sleeve details dont’ strike me as very khaleeji anyway.

Just a small disclaimer, most of my uh “research” led to me looking up pictures on Pinterest it’s very useful because the webite bundles up similar looking pics together. Once you find reference you found all them essentially it was a very powerful and useful website for me but, unfortunately people have a habit of not citing so it pains me to carry that habit here. But most of the illustrations are from a Mameluke manuscript.

I don’t want a 1:1 recreation of what used to be, I want to create a world that feels distinct and has a strong identity. Maybe this is me being a bit arrogant but I feel like because the time period inspiration is rarely ever used…might make it easy compared to drawing from English or Japanese culture/history.

I feel like it has to be said, my characters while yes are drawn from Egyptian history are not…Egyptian or Muslims (or Christians) they live in a fictional fantasy world and have fictional fantasy culture and their fictional kingdom draws on Egyptian history and culture(s)

I don’t want to go into depth about how both characters relate to each other but the main idea is that they both occupy the same “country” so to speak, maybe this is a concept I should rethink in and of itself.

Back to the Princess/Queen

I know I just went on about Mamlukes and Egypt but ironically she was supposed to be a bit more Arab, to me she embodies this “Rich Arab Princess” vibe just mainly thought the hair and face shape, it’s very much the ideal (rich) Khaliji Arab Woman (online).

There’s a very high likelihood of me misremembering so much, I’m not sure which one came first but I think I may have mixed both the idea of Mameluke/vague Arab fighters together.

Clearly I wasn’t satisfied because I went on to make more designs

Ok so let me see if I remember this one…

After running errands in a district in Cairo that still has some farms standing at the cusp of advancing urbanisation, I decided to try my hand with a design that drew on some of the outfits I saw on display. My main issue was that she doesn’t look like royalty at all and even after giving some jewelry she still looks like a falaha/fala7a and a bit too homely for me. If the design was for a “village princess” or “bint el 3omda” it would work but for a Princess/Queen that resides in her kingdom’s center of power maybe not.

At least I think for the average Egyptian there’s nothing that hints at “royalty” so this design didn’t really last much.

Just some more line art details, I was trying to play around with her embroidery details but it didn’t give the vibe I wanted.

Kind of abandoned her for a bit and imagined her a bit closer to the left design on the left looking very much Arab but at this point the Kingdom’s inspiration was moving more towards Egyptian based and I was becoming more open to using Ancient Egypt for her, feels inevitable really.

Tried going back to making a comic, just one page I was messing around and this was the design I used for her.

Was she in court? In her palace? meeting her friends in secret because she’s about to send them on a dangerous mission? Who knows

A few days ago I went back to the drawing board with her and while I have mixed feelings about her face I think I managed to capture the overall feel. I’ve also integrated a lot more Ancient Egypt to her for a while I was using elements of Isis in the vein of how Cleopatra channelled Isis imagery to solidify her rule as a Pharaoh and the idea that Pharaohs believed themselves to represent the Gods. I’ve been playing around with that concept for a bit but I’m a bit hesitant with it. How would a child feel knowing that she embodies the will and power of a deity? How can she be sure of it? While questioning her own rule.

I think I’m getting closer to a version of a character I’m satisfied with and I’ve been having fun outlining her arc but I continue to struggle writing her interpersonal relationships mainly with her brother, friends, and potentially lover. It all feels so amateurish but I think her brother is the least throughout. I don’t even have a picture of him.

Anyway the other inspiration is Egypt and after coming across this picture it just felt right, the main inspiration is from the lady on the left despite it looking a bit more like a costume but I really have no way for knowing because the picture is from Pinterest and people rarely give much context. Doesn’t help that they’re from Egyptian nationalist accounts who just care about visuals.

The more I look at it the more sure I am that it’s a costume for a film and I feel so stupid. Her robe/galabeya is too shiny and the way her belt is tied feels intentional in provoking Ancient Egypt but idk maybe I’m just looking too much into it.

I also mixed it with another reference picture I found, thankfully I’ve been able to amass more references but again they’re shallow and devoid of context.

Anyway her is her current design.

You can see similarities with the photograph from the left mainly the vest and belt but now that I’m looking at it I the cuffs share similarities although I didn’t focus on that.

Dramatically changed her hair style. She currently has curly hair and I gave her a staff that’s usually on mummies lol and gave her yellow eyes because she’s so oh special.

Yellow eyes and a brown character? How daring

I feel like her skin a tad darker than I want it, she spends too much time in doors before everything goes to shit (for her) so early on I don’t think she should be this tan.

I’d like to think that her most recent iteration blends elements of Ancient Egypt and Islamic Egypt.

The design on the right is meant to be very ceremonial, she might be at a meeting getting bored to sleep or listening to some elites quarrel about their problems. One day she’ll be looking back at those boring meetings wishing they lasted a little longer.

Anyway

I wanted to share or document my thought process somewhere

[childofaura]

My Big Ol’ Comprehensive Review of Fire Emblem Engage

So,

I finally beat Fire Emblem Engage. Through my gameplay, I was making a LOT of negative posts just due to being in the midst of struggling with the game. But in all honesty, those posts were not true expressions of my overall opinions on the game. And that’s what this post is here for.

So I’ll be giving my overall, in-depth opinion on Engage, though I will condense it into this: It’s a decent game. But it’s not a good Fire Emblem game. Let’s break it down:

-Story

The story has a relatively solid premise, but the execution was not optimal. They borrowed a LOT of story elements from previous games: The future battle at the beginning of the game (Which didn’t even come back into play, what the hell was the point of that battle with Sombron???), the element of important artifacts being held by different kingdoms like in Sacred Stones, the Fell Dragon title and the “Corrupted” being lifted from Awakening, Veyle being your little sister in a parallel to Lilith, Lumera’s reunion and death playing out like Mikoto’s in Fates, King Hyacinth, Ivy, and Hortensia strongly resembling King Garon and the Nohr children, etc etc etc.

ANYWAYS, long story short is that these story elements and plot pieces felt VERY Frankenstein’d together. But that’s not to say there weren’t good bits. Veyle’s entire arc was very satisfying (again, this baby is getting her own post because her character is that great), Lumera coming back as a Corrupted actually offered a really twisted but perfect multi-faceted side to her character we wouldn’t otherwise see (The horrible, selfish thoughts in her head), the Hounds were a unique idea, Alear actually being a Fell Dragon was a super awesome idea that they didn’t quite execute right...

But then also there was one really huge writing flaw I noticed, and that was how incredibly last-minute a lot of character traits and story beats seemed to be. Sombron’s real intentions weren’t revealed until the final battle, and you don’t even get to see the Emblem of Foundations. It felt incredibly rushed and had it been worked into the plot a little bit better, it could have made him stand out a lot more rather than just being “obviously evil dragon”. Like yes, I ended up feeling some little pity for him but it wasn’t proper nor satisfying. And then Griss, Marni, and Zephia’s backstories being revealed RIGHT before they died was cheap. I LIKED Marni’s backstory, I LIKED Zephia’s goals and ambitions for a true family, and I LIKED that Griss’ masochism came from a certain sense of self-loathing. But this all came out at the scenes before they die. Don’t do that, IS.

So overall, the story was definitely a disappointment coming off the heels of the Fodlan franchise. Had some interesting ideas, but failed to properly utilize them.

-Gameplay

I mentioned this billions of times in my despairing posts, but I need to put it into better words:

The devs did an awful, shitty job with these new Maddening Mode choices, and they fail to warn you about it. Nowhere when I started Maddening Mode did I see any kind of disclaimers that Skirmishes were severely limited. This created an entire snowball effect that essentially made my playthrough a living nightmare: So I made the mistake early on of donating funds to Firene and Brodia thinking I’d be able to spawn Skirmishes, get gold for purchasing items and weapons, and level up my team so I’d be prepared for the chapters. But none of them did; I was forced to continue on with severely unprepared units, and dropping them in favor of stronger units being recruited. This also forced me to promote most of my main-players early on, despite the fact that I knew they weren’t getting their max stat-capacity. Which then lead to even further struggles down the line where my units weren’t functioning at their best against maxed-out enemies, and I didn’t have enough gold to do weapon refines or even buy them better weapons.

This has NEVER been an issue with other Maddening Modes in the Fire Emblem series. They made all of these drastic choices without giving you fair warning and it heavily impacted my ability to enjoy the game.

Other minor gameplay issues includes the loss of 2D portraits in favor of 3D ones, which causes the framerate to tank a couple of times (And 2D portraits are just better anyways), paralogues being shoved into Emblem-based battles which are SUPER boring story-wise, and the title screen loadings; they show that stupid portrait at the beginning of the game EVERY TIME after there’s a bit of loading, then there’s more loading, then they FORCE the fucking intro cutscene before you can finally get to the title screen. Why not do it after some idle time has passed like you do for most of your games??? Though I will say that Engage Rings are pretty cool to use. Not super awesome, but they’re cool. Final thing I want to note that I wouldn’t say is necessarily a negative, but the enemy AI now no longer physically attacking you even if you’re in range was a painful and annoying new gameplay aspect to learn. Valid tactic to keep you on your toes? Yes. Highly unpredictable and ANNOYING as SHIT when you need to clear out enemies? Yes.

-Music

I really REALLY hate to say this, but the music in this game is disappointing compared to previous games. There are some bangers, though: Solm’s battle music is super fun, Firene’s is... okay. I don’t think I even remembered Elusia and Brodia’s music, sadly. But the Corrupted theme really sucks, they try to play around with some kind of chip-tune but it doesn’t work; there aren’t enough creepy shrill tones that really give you the sense of something horribly unnatural.

Something similar to this would have been the best for the Corrupted:

Chapter 11′s song felt too much like “Don’t Speak Her Name”, but it did set the mood for that chapter perfectly... or it would have if I wasn’t on the near verge of tears trying to beat that damn level.

Corrupted Lumera’s battle theme COULD have been amazing, and has promise, but they really failed to lean into the orchestral aspect of it, which is what I think it needed. Using her motif in that creepy way was perfect, but the “instruments” sounded too generic. We need something more “A Funeral of Flowers”-esque where you really get the feeling of a tragedy unfolding.

And the final battle theme, man... So disappointing. Not sure if it’s just me, but the music didn’t even change during battle phases, or if it did, it wasn’t distinct enough. It SOUNDS well composed, but they just needed to add more. It was no “Funeral of Flowers”, no “God Shattering Star”, and most certainly ABSOLUTELY not even close to the glory of “Twilight of the Gods”.

-Characters

They were... fine. I have to say that this cast doesn’t feel as overall strong as previous games. Setting aside 3Houses because they’re all students (and therefore more inter-connected without any of the “recruitable events”), I feel like the past games I’ve played have had stronger characters. Awakening gave us a lot of neat characters, especially with Spotpass. Fates gave us a HUGE variety of characters on both sides. And Echoes actually intertwined their recruitable characters with the story. Like I mentioned before, a lot of these characters get recruited too late at weird times and you really don’t get a good feeling for their personalities (Like Saphir or Lindon). Or some have decent personalities but they’re not utilized enough, like the Firenese nobles or Ivy. Most of the main nobles pale in comparison to their younger siblings. And there’s also not a lot of variety in character visuals; I actually found out recently that Amagaitaro was in charge of the character designs (or something to that effect), which... sadly makes a LOT of sense as to why there’s just so many baby-faced characters, or why everyone seems to lack any distinct features. I will say though that, again, the Hounds are interesting and I’m glad to see bosses who are important to the story.

But Zelkov and Veyle are perfect and you can’t change my mind.

-Cast

Can’t really say much about this one, I’ll make a separate post once I’ve listened to the English cast, but I will say the Japanese cast is perfect and I’m glad they gave us the option to switch languages.

And the final thing I’ll add is this: Again, the game suffered pretty heavily from censorship decisions that made no sense. Alear’s supposedly 17 years old in game data, but the localizers didn’t want to let you support characters within that age range under 18, because I assume they realized most of the player-base is over 18. But then characters like Diamant, Zelkov, Mauvier, etc, who are over 18 have very pathetic and underwhelming confessions that lack any kind of romantic tones to them. So once again, the localization team did a horrible job.

Overall, if I had to rank Engage, I’d say it’s a 6/10. I had some fun playing it, but at the end of the day it was NOT a fun game to play. And I truly hope the next game will be a bit more planned-out.

[fanworldbuildingfun]

Recently I have landed on a lovely Auspex series by Lithuva on A03 and now, rent free, in my head a Desmond who runs an Assassin Bureau lives. Except he did not set out to create one. Or realizes he is running one

To spice things a bit, I’m sending Desmond to AC1 era

Let’s assume Desmond shall not, immediately, realize where he is, nor shall he go to search for any big city. And when he does, he is just… Too tired after everything that went on in the last few months to even actively want to. Instead, he just wanders. Tries to get a lay of the land. Indulges the desire to get up as high as he can to learn the map of the location

And then, when he is more or less satisfied that he knows the immediate area he is in (because I’m going to just go and assume that the “Syncronization makes you avare of points of interest” is a valid, Isu-derived offshoot of Isu Knowledge), Desmond heads for the nearest settlement where he sees flecks of gold

Now, apparently 1100s have been a bad time for the region when it came to earthquakes. As in, they were so bad there have been entire cities destroyed in landslides, and entire fortresses collapsed. We are talking 7+ on Magnitude scale ~ every decade from 1138 to 1170. How is it relevant? Rebuilding takes time, and bigger cities would obviously get more attention first

So when Desmond reaches that golden speck? It’s a small settlement that is partially abandoned, and the only remaining people are those who could not afford to move away. So… Desmond sticks around. Hunts for his food. Helps to clear everything up, relying on whatever memories he has from his ancestors that dealt with architecture. There isn’t much, and most of it is surface-level (none of them got involved in more than approval / supply review / labor review/ costs), but even that helps. He can eyball the damages and estimate how much it may cost to repair, and that alone is a good starting point of for the settlement

But till someone can be called in, he helps

Helps moving rubble. Helps taking apart the houses that look beyond saving. Helps do what fixes can be done without outside help. Desmond’s climbing skills and Eagle vision help here. Slowly, he becomes just one of the people of the settlement. When he’s not helping on fixes, he somehow ends up entertaining kids with stories. Then it shifts to teaching, because some stories require further explanations of concepts Desmond did not realize were common in 21st century, but not in 12th.

It’s not conventional by any means, but for this time? It works just fine. He pulls on Altaїr’s memories of lessons at Masyaf. He pulls on Ezio’s memories of being tutored as a child. And it’s all applicable so even if some of the adults grumbled at the start, they eventually stopped. Some even joined in on the lessons

At some point, Desmond gets a house of his own. It wasn’t really meant to be his. It was an old inn building that was one of the more damaged ones, and the owner left it almost a generation ago, now. So Desmond slowly worked on it till everyone just… Accepted it as his and there was that. They all are a tight knit bunch at this point

But then, the Crusades reignite. And suddenly the out-of-the way settlement is no longer out-of-the-way, because trading routes shift to avoid the fighting

The settlement becomes busy. Desmond’s barely finished inn becomes busy. And security becomes an issue

…It wasn’t an unknown that Desmond has been trained. But it has been a backburner knowledge that the settlement now had to face because suddenly, they had to pick up more self-defense skills - after the overall higher level of literacy came to bite them in the butt. When the traders discovered most of the settlers could read/write (and in several languages at that!), the settlement became a hub from which messages would be sent. And then some of the younger people that weren’t interested in tending to their parents’ land (and anyway, they had siblings to do that) became couriers or scribes

Somehow, that became Desmond’s problem

He had all of a year, less even, to enjoy being an inn owner before he had to delegate that – because he got dragged into coordinating the mail, arranging protection for the settlement, dealing with obstinate merchants… There was no time to actually, you know, run the inn

It all came to a peak when a harried young man arrived to the settlement, and Desmond pegged on him as one of the Brotherhood novices. One that had clearly run into some amount of trouble – the kind that was likely to follow him. So he just… Shoos him in with his messengers and makes sure that, when the trouble comes, finding the novice among them is night impossible. He does not acknowledge it. He does not present himself as an Assassin

That doesn’t mean his action aren’t noted. By the novice or the settlement.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

The Night before Christmas

@lycheesodas, as promised, here is my take on your blorbos...

-> Link to the art (go like and reblog please)-> Also, commissions are open, so please consider commissioning this amazing artist!

I hope you'll like this <3

Words: 2k

Characters: Beleg x Mablung (Modern!AU)

Warnings: None, just fluff

Mablung rolled his shoulders uncomfortably as he tightened the last knot of the gold ribbon around the deceivingly small box; the sweater Beleg had gotten him was slightly scratchy and altogether too warm, making him sweat even more as he stood fidgeting by the kitchen counter, eyeing his present critically.

He did not doubt for a single second that his boyfriend would tear the paper off unceremoniously anyway, but Mablung had an orderly mind and – when it came to something so monumentally important – he didn’t want to leave anything to chance.

With a satisfied nod, he picked the discreet parcel up at the very moment a loud bang in the hallway informed him of the arrival of his beloved in the flat. Mablung had been relieved when Beleg had decided to spend the afternoon prior to their little intimate celebration at his unofficial second job, babysitting Túrin the Terror, for it had given Mablung the time to tidy up their flat and wrap his gift with the slow, meticulous care he liked to apply to things that mattered to him.

A sharp tug at the back of his sweatshirt reminded him belatedly of just how fast and noiselessly Beleg could move when he had a mind to; Mablung perforce spun around, smoothly hiding the box behind his broad back. He was taller than Beleg and so he almost collided with the hand his beaming boyfriend was holding over them; as he let his eyes drift upwards, he glimpsed the mistletoe Beleg was brandishing as if it was a rare treasure.

“You’ll have to kiss me,” the silver-haired imp crooned, “it’s the law.”

“It is a tradition,” Mablung replied sternly, “which is quite different from an actual decree.”

They had been dating for too long for Beleg to miss the playful sparkle in his eyes though and so he was not surprised to see that rosy, overactive mouth purse in expectation of the demanded kiss.

“Come on,” Beleg whined, letting his dense lashes flutter seductively as he stepped even closer to his partner. “You cannot wear those work pants at home and expect me to forego your sweet kisses. You evil siren!”

Uttering a choked chuckle, Mablung allowed himself to tear his gaze from the puny bough of waxy greenery; he was never entirely sure where Beleg got those ideas from, but he couldn’t deny that it filled his chest with welcome warmth whenever his boyfriend accused him of looking especially good on purpose.

In his own humble opinion, Mablung merely looked like himself and the fact that this was enough to make Beleg go cross-eyed with admiration at times was one of the countless reasons he held on to a little box so tightly that the edges cut into his fingers now.

As he waited for Mablung to finish his thought, a nervous expression flitted over Beleg’s face as his eyes went to the old cabinet sitting in the corner of the room. “It’s for good luck,” he explained softly, “and I need all the luck I can get tonight!”

Just as Mablung was finally about to give in to Beleg’s irresistible pleas though, he felt a nimble, swift hand shoot around his body.

“What do we have here?”

“No,” Mablung cried out, “it’s not yet gift-giving time! You really need to work on your patience! We had agreed on midnight, and I’d hold you to that!”

“Spoilsport!” Beleg cried out dramatically, thankful for the distraction; unfortunately, he was only too acutely aware of Mablung’s iron will when it came to these things; a covenant had been arranged and Mablung would not budge unless he absolutely had to. “Aren’t you at all curious about what I’ve gotten you?”

“Trickery?” Mablung asked with an amused smirk as all but saw the joyous energy radiate from Beleg in shivering waves of excited impatience; evidently, he was himself very much looking forward to seeing Mablung open the gift he had gotten for him. “I cannot wait to find out, my sweet love.”

“Evidently, you can,” Beleg muttered but, upon seeing the nervous glint in Mablung’s eyes, he guffawed loudly and pushed himself up on his toes to capture the twitching mouth in a warm kiss. “Good to be home, I’ve missed you.”

Mablung’s heart did a quick somersault; no matter how often Beleg spoke such spontaneous words of love and devotion as if doing so was the easiest and most natural thing in the world, his much more reserved boyfriend never was quite used to the rush of happiness and helpless affection surging through him.

He should have been warier of the entrapment of Beleg’s charm though for, when that wily seducer made another dash for the parcel, Mablung only managed to salvage his jealously guarded surprise by throwing his arm up and holding it out of Beleg’s reach.

“You’re being puerile,” he chided nervously; he had spent so much time planning the minutiae of the scene that his thoughts had petrified around that crystalline moment of bliss, and he found that he was terrified that it would be ruined by unpredicted chaos or inadvertent mischief.

Complaining under his breath, Beleg tugged and prodded until they fell onto the thankfully nearby couch in a heap of limbs and a cloud of pealing laughter.

“You love me though,” Beleg grinned up at him, almost going cross-eyed with trying to never let the package out of his sight.

“That I do!” A slew of passionate, loving kisses followed which did nothing to take Beleg’s sharp mind off the mystery at hand; as much as he enjoyed lazing around in Mablung’s arms, he could neither deny nor shake the quiet hum of excitement that little box had set off in his breast.

“It’s almost midnight, Mablung, my sweet, steadfast, serene love. Take pity on my poor, impatient heart and let me see!”

Shaking his head, Mablung set his precious gift on top of an oaken armoire and returned to the kitchen to check on the food he had set into the oven to warm up; he had paid a hefty fee for their favourite restaurant to deliver a dish Beleg adored.

As he pulled a sinfully expensive bottle of wine – a courtesy from Melian – out of the fridge, Mablung also allowed himself a moment to rest his forehead against the cool wood of the kitchen cupboards to gather his thoughts.

His breath was gusting out in short, shallow puffs that had nothing to do with the brief tussle in the living room; he was both heartened and thrown off balance by the boundless enthusiasm of his boyfriend.

They were doing so well and, as a cautious man, Mablung was afraid to disturb that fragile balance by the monumental decision he had taken. He did not doubt that Beleg loved him, but did he love him enough?

Beleg loved the sun and the open forest in summer, but he could just as happily watch the snowflakes dance on the icy wind for hours; it was nearly impossible to dampen his zeal and hunger for life and all it had to offer.

How could Mablung dare try to bind one such as him to his own tedious, painfully monotonous existence?

He was about to call the whole thing off when Beleg appeared in the doorframe, sporting a crooked grin and cradling an evidently injured arm.

“What?” Mablung cried out in dismay but stopped his advance when Beleg proudly brandished the box.

“Is this what I suspect?” Beleg asked breathlessly, his keen glance sweeping over the flushed face of the one he loved most and the absurd wine he was holding as if to strangle the cold glass bottle.

“Yes,” Mablung sighed and dropped to one knee.

“Don’t! These are your best trousers!” Beleg cried out in shock; his mind was spinning wildly, unable to fully comprehend the picture before him. There he was – serious, sturdy, solitary Mablung – kneeling on the cold kitchen floor in his grotesquely festive sweater and his star-spangled socks, and his eyes were alight with a thousand doubts and hopes that shimmered like a meteorite shower on the rippling background of his deep, undying love.

“Wine,” Beleg croaked and sniffed, “and you’ve gotten my favourite dish as well. Will you be lenient and show me grace? You may keep the box until midnight but, I beg you, let me have the actual gift.”

Mablung frowned slightly, tilting his head back to drink in the vision of Beleg, triumphant and yet solemnly subdued all of a sudden.

“Give me the words that – I have no doubt – you have prepared for this moment. I think I’ll die of asphyxiation if you don’t speak soon!”

Taking the box from Beleg and handing him the bottle of wine so he could apply its soothing, smooth coolness onto the growing bruise creeping up his arm, Mablung took a deep breath.

“I have ever been told that I am rather dull,” he then started, “but you seem to be endlessly amused and delighted by me. For all the flaws I cannot deny and all the faults I am blissfully oblivious of yet, I can vaunt that I am loyal to a fault and…I love you more than you’ll ever even know.

Your world is movement and colour, but mine is made up of duty and honour…and you. Mostly you. You are more than my light, more than mere happiness in a wonderful body, more than a burst of life in the drab grey of the monotony of existence. You are home. Will you marry me?”

He did not undo the ribbon or present Beleg with the discreet band of white gold and frozen starlight yet, he simply sat – motionless – like willing prey or a holy offering sacrificed to some obscure deity.

“Oh, you silly, old fool,” Beleg laughed, launching himself at Mablung and toppling both of them over. “How ceremonial you sound for a question that easy!”

“Mind the wine,” Mablung admonished instinctively as he tightened his arms around Beleg’s body protectively.

“Forget the wine,” Beleg jeered. “Yes, yes, of course. A thousand times yes. If anyone is home – constant, reliable, an ever-fixed star to guide my steps – it is certainly you, my darling.”

Tenderly, he threaded his finger into Mablung’s silken hair to pull him into a soft, melting kiss into which he willed all the bundled, focused, concentrated love he usually dispersed so haphazardly.

Somewhere outside, a church bell chimed.

“Can I see the ring before we eat?”

“Before dinner?” Mablung asked, pretending to be shocked by this set of priorities.

“I’d choose you over food anytime,” Beleg whispered insistently, “over sleep, over comfort, over safety. You know that, right? You are the most important element in my life and, without you, nothing else means anything anymore anyway!”

Relieved beyond what words could express, Mablung handed the small box back and – scrambling to his feet elegantly – half-turned to the oven to retrieve their dinner.

The smile breaking on his face like the light of day at midnight was fast and blinding though as he heard Beleg breathe in sharply before cheering loudly, screaming – at the top of his lungs – that the ring was perfect and that he undoubtedly was the happiest bugger alive.

It was not what Mablung had predicted but – after all these years – he was hardly surprised by that and the way Beleg managed to turn his most assiduous of plans into miracles, full of earnest beauty and astonishing revelations, was another one of the truly endless reasons for this chaotic midnight proposal.

A second later, Beleg jumped onto his back to hug him with his whole body, peppering haphazard kisses onto every patch of bare skin he could reach. “You’ll never believe what I’ve gotten you!” he cried and laughed until Mablung could feel cool tears of endless mirth fall onto his neck.

“I,” he declared in accents of mock arrogance, “can wait until after dinner.”

“Ha!” Beleg exclaimed, tightening his hold. “We shall see about that.”

So, this goes to show that I am a glutton for Modern!AUs...You see I've had a lot of fun with this <3

Thank you for being such an amazing artist and enabler! I love you lots!

[pineapple-lover-boy]

Can- can I just talk about the Victuuri relationship? Pretty please?

I just…. I’ve never seen a healthy relationship that starts from idolization and a need to get out that has ended in a satisfying way.

Let me elaborate:

We all know that Yuri idolized Victor. It’s why he was so nervous in the beginning and why it took time for them to build on their relationship, he saw Victor as a god.

Victor? He was depressed. He loved the ice so much but he longer found excitement in competitions. He didn’t have any worthy opponents that had a chance of beating him (sorry Chris).

I believe Victor “fell in love” at the banquet. He was attracted to Yuri but, even though he lost, he also saw potential in him. That night was probably the most exciting night for him in a long time. I think he felt genuine affection for Yuri but also saw a way to get out of his predicament.

Then, of course, Yuri didn’t show up the following season (a year had passed before the present timeline). He was most likely annoyed that someone who had gave him excitement didn’t show up. Did he think Yuri had a chance of beating him at first? Probably not. Did he see potential or at least someone he could have fun with during the season? Hell yes!

And then when he saw the video of Yuri skating Stay Close To Me, something that awarded him a gold medal. That’s all he needed. He saw how Yuri not only skated it perfectly but I bet he thought Yuri skated it better. Let’s not forget that emotion is a huge part of skating. If you don’t skate with the passion your supposed to hold for whatever theme you have, your performance can almost seem futile. Victor obviously won because he perfected it but if it was based on how he presented it alone, he would’ve lost. He saw someone worthy of skating an gold medal piece while also having the heart to do it. That’s talent.

Anyways, because of this, their relationship doesn’t hold well in the beginning. He’s passive aggressive towards Yuri because he doesn’t see his own talent and Yuri is just going along for the ride because holy shit it’s Victor fucking Nikiforov.

As they get to know each other and Yuri opens up more (plus Victor getting info on Yuri from the others) Victor starts to see Yuri as an actual person and not someone he can use to project himself onto and then later skate against. And Yuri starts to see him as an actual person too.

I saw on another post talking about how we didn’t see them during the summer and how the end credits of every episode suggest they got to know each other better as both in the credits and in the show they (Yuri) are able to touch each other more. I 100% believe this.

I also believe they might’ve had an argument or two on this topic. It’s not easy to switch from inadvertently seeing someone as anything but a person to an actual person with emotions and feelings. I believe Victor would’ve tried to back away from this subject but Yuri wouldn’t let him. It wasn’t big arguments like in episode 7. It was probably little quarrels that annoyed them both but after having a long conversation they finally started to become more comfortable with each other.

Yuri started letting go of the notion that Victor was a god like creature and Victor saw him as something other than a pawn. Yuri stopped getting as embarrassed with Victor touching him and Victor stopped trying to seduce him as much just so he could see the man from the banquet.

This most definitely leads the way towards a healthier relationship but episode 7 was inevitable. Yuri’s anxiety was at an all time high when he comes out on top. The fact that he needs to stay on top and not mess up is getting to him. As a person with anxiety, it’s pure hell. The thoughts of failing won’t get out of his head and even as he turns off all the monitors he can still hear everything.

Victor takes him away from prying eyes and has no idea what to do. Despite an obvious change that would’ve had to include some emotions from both occurring over the summer, he still has no idea how to help someone in distress.

Then he makes his first mistake. Yuri is visibly shaken by someone’s scores (can’t remember who) and Victor, who is at his wits end, yells at him to stop listening and puts his hands over Yuri’s ears. This tells Yuri how nervous Victor is too and despite knowing that Victor wouldn’t leave him now it shows to him that Victor doesn’t have faith in him (even if he does).

Victor tried to shatter Yuri’s heart. He must’ve expected Yuri to maybe sign heavily but tell him that he’ll do everything in his power to win (probably something that’s happened with him and Yakov). Instead he see’s the consequences of his carelessness. Yuri rightfully lashes out at him and even through all that Victor stills says “should I kiss you?”. Idk what Yuri was thinking but if I were him I would be extremely offended that Victor would try and use me like some doll he can play with and can assume that physical affection and love can fix everything, which was probably what Yuri was thinking.

There’s something off about Yuri and Victor when they emerge but Yuri is surprisingly better now. Cathartic crying can do wonders, kids. There’s also my favorite part of the entire show (couldn’t find a gif):

*head jab* “Hey, fuck you.”

*more head jabs* “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I know you don’t like this you unempathetic dicknip.”

*head pat* “You’re forgiven.”

We all know what happens next: Yuri ends his love story with Victor’s signature move and Victor kisses him out of joy and the need to one up him (with love, of course).

I’m gonna get a little sloppy here with the timeline because I have the memory of a female protagonist that needs to go back to work to get something only to accidentally bump into the jerk CEO of which she will develop a toxic relationship for fan service, so forgive me.

Gonna skip ahead to the scene where Yuri tells Victor that he’s leaving skating, and basically Victor too. (At this moment I realized I’ve been spelling Viktor with a c and not a k which is really fucking with my brain but it’s too late to go back). Victor starts crying and realizes just how Yuri felt when he was rejecting him.

I believe Yuri found some light in the situation because of that fact, which Victor was not having. They’ve been closer than ever now. They’ve kissed, they’ve also announced they they’re getting married, so what the hell?!

Yuri, as we know, feels he’s keeping Victor from the ice. Victor, while he misses the ice and wouldn’t mind being competitive again, has found meaning and if he’s going to be Yuri’s coach to stay where he is than so be it.

He wanted to coach Yuri because he wanted a worthy competitor and while he still wants that, what matters most now is his relationship with Yuri. If he stops being Yuri’s coach and Yuri goes off the ice he knows it will be the end. Yuri loves the ice too and I’d bet he’d try to distance himself from Victor as to not feel regret from leaving without actually knowing that he’s doing it.

They’ve grown so much at this point. But that doesn’t mean it’s over. After all they’ve been through Yuri doesn’t realize that consequences of parting from one another. While being too dependent on your spouse isn’t good, it’s what they both need right now. They are what caused the other person to be happy again and while I hate those types of storylines this one executed it perfectly.

I find Victor’s silent plea to Yurio absolutely heartbreaking. He knows it’s bad to put pressure on people but now he’s doing that to a 15 year old boy. He’s putting his relationship and his life into this child’s hands because he knows there’s nothing else he can do.

I do think Yurio had a crush on Yuri but even if he didn’t: Yuri has taught him so much. He, although being an ass most of the time, has really come to love Yuri as family. It’s clear that Yurio was always lonely (Otabek being his first friend and all) but once he came to Japan and lived, truly lived there, he wasn’t lonely anymore.

Yurio wins, Yuri gets silver and all’s well that ends well.

I guess my point of this was to show how well the relationship in YOI was. I could’ve included some more detail on some points but I usually write stuff in one take (it’s very hard to revise without my mind shutting on itself).

I just love how an implicitly toxic relationship can come out so healthy. They don’t do any of that miscommunication bullshit and when they do it’s because the characters don’t know what to do or how to handle something. Like humans do!

They could’ve easily made this the hot famous guy thinks the kawai girl boy is just so adorable and the kawai girl boy is absolutely infatuated with the hot guy. Hijinks ensue which includes the kawai girl boy thinking the hot guy is in love with someone else. She He gets pushed into thinking that she’s he’s more independent in the end and happily ever after for the couple that will divorce in less than five years! Yay!

Seriously, I thought that was what was going to happen but YOI subverted my expectations so much. They are people that grew from their bad mindsets. And you know what? Yuri still has anxiety! Victor is still bad with handling emotions! And that’s ok! We don’t change that quickly. It takes time and hopefully another season.

I’m definitely using this show as a template for healthy relationships. It’s so hard for me to properly write them when I’ve never been in one and I’m not given the chance to see it happen in different environments (when searching it up all I get is “they trust each other. They blame each other. They’re compassionate.” Like ok but can you show me how?)

Yuri!!! On ice…. I love you so much. You have done so much for my mental health and my writing. Thank you.

[paragonrising]

list of scenarios \ ✧ / accepting @benevolentgodloki​ sent: nude + defend 

Carol was on a luxury liner touring a remote section of space, pretending to be… what had Loki called them? Sakaarian Delegates? Well in actual fact, Loki was pretending to be the delegate, while Carol was playing his companion.

It went without saying, she hated this plan. They’d bickered over numerous things, but in particular: the disguise, because Sakaar did not have delegates, in fact it didn’t have much of anything at the moment because while the Grandmaster had been overthrown, there were a dozen skirmishes happening for control. So who Loki was pretending to represent, was being strategically unsaid. He’d cleverly managed to avoid naming anyone, and she felt that many on this ship had their heads so far up their own asses that they didn’t know anything anyways.

Carol had hastily exited the grand hall when the opportunity arose. She didn’t care to be surrounded by people that on any ordinary day she’d be fighting. They’d tracked a particular arms dealer to the yacht, but hadn’t been able to locate him so far. And after hours of pretending to be refined, patient, and understanding to the plights of rich, idiotic dictators,  she’d opted for a break.

If she had to hear ‘oh, she’s feisty!’ one more time she was going to blast a hole through the hull and let this nightmare cruise sink into the gas giant they were orbiting.

She was thankful to be back in their room, which was honestly nicer than whole planets she’d been on. It was fit for a king, everything was silver and gold, sparkling, encrusted with diamonds, silken sheets and there were about three serving bots that catered to the occupants' needs. Carol’s scowl, which was deep and showed her broiling frustration, wavered when she passed by the mirror. She paused.

She’d never been one for dresses, and when Loki had said she needed to wear one for this occasion she’d laughed. The tulle gown she wore was a shimmering, elegant deep blue piece that was so wholeheartedly out of character for her. Loki had conjured it… crafted it? Honestly, she hadn’t a clue where he’d gotten it from, but looking at herself now – it was beautiful.

She tilted her head as she regarded herself. Nope. She wanted it off. Whether it was magic, or real, or made of damn stardust, she didn’t care. Carol marched towards the bathroom with purpose. She’d get out of this ridiculous dress, and come up with another plan to catch this Houdini of a criminal.

Being out of the fancy garb, and awash with hot water, she began to feel closer to herself again.

 “Excuse me,” a bot said, levitating near Carol, drawing her out of her idle thoughts. “But you have guests.”

She frowned, how long had she been in the shower? Did it mean Loki? “what?”

She barely heard the thwomp of the gun going off before a circular device struck her shoulder and unleashed a powerful shock through her body, causing her to stagger back. Carol glared towards the doorway, where a blue-skinned man wearing green armour, sporting the insignia of Starforce on his chest stood.

Carol dashed out of the shower, smashing a gleaming fist into his face. They skidded across the floor before she and her unconscious attack came to a stop–surrounded by Kree assassins.

Funny story, there wasn’t supposed to be a squadron of Kree in her quarters.

“Let me guess,” she quipped, “you’re here to talk to me about my car’s extended warranty?”

Apparently, they’d never heard that joke before. Or maybe they didn’t find her funny. Three more of those devices struck her, all unleashing deliberating pain through her body. She blasted two of the men, before she yanked one device from her skin and smacked it onto a soldier’s forehead, watching with smirk when that same horrible jolt coursed through him with a satisfying electrical buzzing. A golden radiance enveloped her, and her eyes turning white as she prepared to sunder the entire room--

Suddenly there were Lokis everywhere, and the soldiers were helpless as they began dropping like flies. They shot and swiped uselessly at the ones nearest to them, but found their attacks failing to strike. It took them a moment to realise that they were steadily being defeated, until the last collapsed to the floor with a dagger in his back.

There was that moment, brief as it was, that Carol forgot that she’d been attacked while decidedly unclothed and wet. The firefight had seen the lighting in the room destroyed, so the only illumination offered was Captain Marvel herself. She watched him, wondering why he hadn’t said something clever or snippy. He was just staring.

Realisation came to her, and dread rushed through her veins as the glow around her flickered out in embarrassment. Being buck ass nude in front of the God of Mischief was not part of this plan. A noise stuttered out of her which may have been the beginning of a sentence in hopes of saving whatever dignity she had—but then a deep green cloak was draped around her. Carol hastily grabbed hold of it and pulled it shut, a bashful, but utterly thankful smile managing to appear as she glanced at Loki, but was unable to hold his gaze.

“Thanks.”