#not disappointed but also like Why Are We Here

[lananiscorner]

Can't speak for anybody else, but depending on where you went to school and who your teachers were, I'm afraid paying attention and giving a damn is only half the battle.

Personally (went to school in the 90s and 00s before AI was a thing), I had so. very. many. teachers. who just utterly FAILED at making us understand WHY and HOW the things they were teaching us were going to be important later. It was really more of a "this is on the curriculum, and it's my subject which is always awesome, how can you not see this is awesome and enjoy it just for its own sake?" vibes. And yeah, unless the student you are teaching is into the thing you are teaching, you are not going to get them to pay attention like that.

My most abysmal subject in school was history, primarily because most of my history teachers thought learning about history was inherently FUN and "why can't you guys see this is FUN? How are you not seeing the FUN in this? What's wrong with y'all? How do you not ENJOY learning all those dates and watching timeline grow long?" Meanwhile, me and most of the class were sitting there like "I will never be able to memorize all these dates and everyone involved has been dead for hundreds of years, society has marched on, why should I care?" All I can say is BLESS the two or three GOOD history teachers I had who actually made the jump to go "okay, so forget the dates for a moment, focus on the how and why and let's see how this is still relevant TODAY". If it hadn't been for those two/three teachers, I would have remembered fuck all and I would be entirely unprepared for the historical fuckery that is happening RIGHT NOW.

The same applied to German and English class (I am German, had English as a second language since grade 3). Our English classes were almost entirely about learning the rules of the language and basic geography/history of major English-speaking countries. Our German classes were almost entirely learning the rules of our own language and our Cultural Heritage™ and also, here are the most famous writers (almost all of whom were white, middle-aged upper class men who died hundreds of years ago and whose lived experience was so far removed from that of a teenager in the 90s/00s, it might as well have happened in a different dimension) and we gotta analyze why THEY were brilliant why THEIR WRITING was brilliant.

Like, I WISH we had actually taken apart some newspaper articles/podcasts and analyzed them for how to identify the proper information and spot misinformation/propaganda. I WISH our teachers had succeeded in demonstrating to us why we should care about media analysis, other than wanking about guys who wrote something decent 300 years ago, but most of them really didn't.

Then there is the cascading failure of teachers in later years assuming that you already learned to do something years ago, so clearly they don't need to teach you. They don't even need to ask if you know. Of course not.

I still remember vividly the one history teacher we had who gave us an assignment to make presentations on some very specific local Jewish businesses and institutions that were sacked during the 1930s. Most of us had utterly abysmal grades on that one, not because we didn't care about the subject, but because it was highly local history, so good luck finding anything about it in the local library or on the internet, both of which tended to take a "top to bottom" approach of there being lots of information on global or national events, but very little on local events.

Our teacher gave all of us mediocre grades (deserved, because our presentations were mediocre at best) and then went on to complain how disappointed she was that none of us seemed to have done any research in the city archives, to which almost every single one of us responded with: "wait, there are publicly accessible city archives that we can access for this kind of information? Even as underaged students?"

She had the GALL to be surprised by our reaction, and to complain about how we should know about this already... and then she didn't even bother to teach us how we would go about accessing this kind of information! She saw a leak, and instead of teaching us how to plug it, she just complained about the leak and moved on.

You know, this would have been a nice chance for a field trip? Take the class down to city hall? Let the archiving clerks explain to us how information is stored and sorted and what we can access and what not? I don't know what this woman was expecting from us, honestly, because if "archive research" had been on any of our history curricula before, our teachers clearly hadn't bothered with it, and we were students living in former soviet territories--our parents grew up in a communist dictatorship where asking the wrong questions landed you in prison getting interrogated and tortured. Just how nosy/curious exactly did this HISTORY teacher who clearly should have known about the HISTORICAL background of our area think we were going to be, and how did she not even THINK to ask us "so this next task is about highly local stuff--do all of y'all know what the city archives are and how to access them?"

Like, I'm not saying that none of this failure to do research and accurately interpret and formulate texts is down to student laziness, especially in the face of AI. All I'm saying is, the cards are already pretty stacked against a lot of kids to begin with.

I cannot stress the importance of paying attention in language classes in high school. Maybe the reason why your English teacher taught you about unreliable narrators is because a lot of the media around you is written by unreliable narrators posing as reliable. Maybe they gave you assignments on interpreting texts so you could draw your own conclusions about news articles. Some of you clearly thought English classes were useless in high school and now are unable to engage critically with media.

[haikyu-mp4]

Everything will be fine – Akaashi x reader wc 629 – f!reader, brother!Bokuto

Your older brother Bokuto was not disappointed – nor particularly surprised – when you and Akaashi ended up dating in your last year at high school. He was away for university by then and missed the two of you terribly, but at least your togetherness meant he could meet you both at the same time whenever he visited home! That’s double the time spent with both of you!

And when you and Akaashi graduated, you both got into universities in Tokyo, meaning Bokuto’s happiness only increased. Nothing could ever separate you now-

“Me and Keiji both got job offers here in Tokyo!”

For a second, he grinned widely at the great news, his hair pointed sharply to the sky. Then, slowly, he realised he had just accepted an invitation to play for the Black Jackals, who were stationed in Osaka. His hair melted into sadness, along with his whole demeanour.

You felt Akaashi tense beside you, his hand squeezing yours a little tighter while you pursed your lips, having handled this for much longer than your boyfriend.

“But I’ll be working in Osaka,” Bokuto reminded you, his sadness dripping from every syllable.

“It’s not even three hours with the Shinkansen, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi informed him. Naturally, he had made some calculations before giving this news.

Bokuto nodded and gave you a sorrowful smile. The rest of his expression was hardly working with him to convince you that he was okay, but he tried his best. “I just thought you two would both be freelancers and go wherever I go.”

You couldn’t help the small snort of laughter that slipped past your nose, making you lift a hand to try and conceal it. Akaashi smiled and stepped forward when he saw that Bokuto was about to tell you off. “Bokuto-san. I promise to take care of your sister.”

“I know that, Akaashi. But who’s going to take care of me? Who’s going to hold up the posters with my name at every game?”

Akaashi hesitated, looking a bit like a question mark when he answered. “Your other fans?”

Bokuto huffed and pouted. “They don’t count.”

“If I filmed that and posted it, you’d get cancelled so fast,” you mumbled from the side, already fed up with your brother’s nonsense (affectionately).

“You’re not taking my emotions seriously!” Bokuto accused you, which sounded exactly like it did when you were kids.

You stuck your tongue out at him. “Because everything will be fine!”

“It will?” Bokuto’s movements stuttered as he blinked at you owlishly, a nostalgic sense of positivity washing over him.

“Of course it will!” you repeated, voice a little lighter. A little more relaxed, like the words were filling the air and hugging all three of you. “We always work things out.”

Akaashi felt his shoulders lower as he admired you. You were everything he needed to fight his anxiety, and you proved time and time again that you were it for him.

It also seemed to have the same effect on Bokuto, who knew from all the years of sitting on the back of your bike while you gave your all trying to get him home after he scraped his knee, that you would do everything in your power to ensure it would, in fact, be okay.

“I already got us all rail passes for the whole year,” you said happily, shrugging. “Can you start being happy about our awesome jobs now?”

Bokuto used his strong arms to pull you and your boyfriend into a crushing hug, making you both groan despite the warmth in your hearts. “Oh my gosh, congratulations! What are your jobs?”

You nodded your head to gesture for Akaashi to start. “I’ll be an editor for Tenma Udai...”

“The mangaka?! Why didn’t you say that?!”

“…My bad, Bokuto-san.”

masterlist

requested by @nifflermini for my event, anything for you <3

[butterflytint]

the princess and the archer- t. fushiguro

summary: the princess of the kingdom has escaped from her boarding school! who better to help her than a brooding archer in the woods?

w/c: 9k

pairing: archer!toji x femprincess!reader

warnings/tags: royal au, sexually explicit content, virgin reader

a/n: this is a rewrite of one of my old ao3 hq one shots. I thought toji would be a great hunter so why not. also the towns and places are references to cursed techniques!!

Once upon a time in a land far far away, resided a wealthy and powerful kingdom. In this kingdom, lived a beautiful princess . . .  who was currently on the run.

You donned a scarlet cloak as you ride your horse through a forest. A few days prior, you hatched a devious plan to escape the all-girls boarding school your parents—the king and queen—sent you to so you could learn the proper etiquette that a lady must know. You grew bored rather quickly and formulated a plan to run off to your uncle’s estate, that way your aunt and uncle could vouch for you and protect you from your parents’ wrath.

Although you were successful in escaping the school, you were still in unknown territory. The girl’s academy was located on the opposite end of the kingdom, there’d be too much land to cover in one night, not to mention your horse is getting tired. With a deep breath, you yanked the reins back, signaling your companion to slow down.

Venturing off in the middle of the night like that into unfamiliar grounds was stupid to say the least. It was wiser for you and your trusted steed to eat and rest up, and simply continue traveling in the morning when the sun was out so you could actually see where you were headed. It seemed like a decent plan, except for one flaw: where would you sleep? A vulnerable girl like you couldn’t sleep on the dirt of a mysterious forest, it simply didn’t suit a woman of your royal title.

You adjusted your cloak around you as you trudged through the woods, finally settling to rest under a tree. You leaned your back against your steed, rummaging through your satchel to pull out something to eat. A disappointed frown took form on your face when you only pulled out a small portion of turkey that you snuck in from the school’s kitchens. Shaking your head, you sighed, accepting that you’d have to make do with what you had.

You closed your eyes and brought the slab of meat to your mouth. Your teeth snapped together as you seemingly took a bite of the air. Eyes prying open as they followed the sound of gobbling next to your head, the blonde-haired horse was downing that turkey like it was a wad of chewing gum.

You gasped before snapping at the stallion, “Reiner!”

Your horse opened his eyes to look at you dejectedly, no sign of guilt on his furry face. You could’ve sworn you almost saw the animal smile at your misery.

“Traitor,” you pointed your finger at him.

Reiner simply nuzzled into your side, acting oh so innocent. You heaved a deep breath, furrowing your brows as your fingers raked through his mane.

“I suppose that wasn’t going to be enough for the either of us,” you murmured. You stoically stood up, dusting your dress with your hands as you looked back at him, “I suppose we won’t be getting anything near a feast out here anytime soon. As much as I miss having breakfast in bed, it’s time I do something on my own for once.”

A devoid stare was all you got in return from the animal. You took it as a look of silent encouragement. You trekked further into the woods, your trusted steed following closely behind. Thoughts of drinking ice cold water and eating a warm meal resided in your mind, etching itself in your conscience, imprinting on your senses as you could almost smell rotisserie chicken being cooked in that very moment. Wait. That wasn’t your imagination, you could actually smell it with a hint of smoke sailing through the air.

A relieved sigh escaped your lips as you scrunched up your dress in your hands to lift it up, making it easier for you to step through the dirt of the forest ground. As you followed the growing scent, you squinted in the distance to see a warm hue of radiance, like a beacon of light for you to follow.

A short thankful laugh spilled from your throat before you approached it. It was a hut, like a small cottage, sitting by its lonesome in the woods. Maybe it belonged to a kind old lady who tended to her sheep in the village nearby or a florist—it could’ve even belonged to an evil warlock for all you knew.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, you drew near that cottagey hut. When a twig snapped beneath your boot, you didn’t think much of it. Big mistake.

The rumbling of a deep growl resounded behind you. Slowly, you craned your head to meet the origin of the beastly noise. A bear . . . it belonged to a bear. It was standing several meters away from you. All you could hear was the sound of your heartbeat blaring in your ears like some siren.

You glanced over your shoulder to somehow discreetly mount Reiner and slip away, but you were graced with the view of the equestrian galloping away. It was treason to say the least, a heinous crime against a princess.

You couldn’t control the petrified scream that left your mouth before you started running towards the cottage. You ran the fastest you’d ever run in your life. Back in the castle, if you were to behave like this, you’d be disciplined by your caretakers up in the castle, locked up in your room for acting like a ruffian, but the circumstances called for it this time.

Something caught your leg. A branch. Uneven terrain. You couldn’t care to check. All you knew was that there was a sharp sting of pain in your shin now. As unceremoniously as you got up to continue your running, hot tears began to spill from your eyes. You chanced a look over your shoulder again to see if the beast was chasing you, but you bumped into a tree. A very cushiony tree.

You turned to see what it was, only to be met with a pair of rich green eyes. Panting, you felt the stranger grip your arms with a sense of care. He craned his neck down to your view, almost a way of letting you know it was okay.

His hooded eyes were wide as he asked you, “Are you alright?”

You nodded, still shuddering. You started to explain, “There’s a—”

“I know,” he interrupted boldly. He pulled you behind him, not with too much force as he was your line of defense now. He reached for his bow and arrow, drawing his arm back as he aimed at the beast charging towards the two of you. “Stay behind me, darlin’.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You backed up towards his home slowly, still trembling while watching him draw the arrow at the vicious animal. He let go of the bowstring, an audible gust of wind from the arrow traveling through the air could be heard.

You peered over his shoulder to see the dense creature topple over like it was nothing. That arrow had to have pierced its heart somehow through its arm. It was a well-aimed shot, some kind of miracle you would read of in a fantasy tale.

The peculiar stranger didn’t even offer the poor corpse another look as he turned to face you. You gaped at him as your bottom lip quivered. He was tall, very tall. He looked down at you like you were some puny ant on the ground. He had straight ink black hair that hung over those deep green eyes, eyes that could be mistaken for blue in this light. His brows were dark like his hair, resting in no particular expression as he studied you.

The man was in a loose grey tunic and black pants, a pair of dense black boots to tie the jagged hunter look together. Bow still in hand while his quiver rested on his hip, housing spare arrows for him to use if necessary. They weren’t needed though, not when the owner of them was as adept to take down a bear with a single arrow from a long distance in the darkness of the night.

Not only was he tall, but he was also muscular enough that his loose clothes could not even hide it. He towered over you in ways that reminded you of the perimeter walls of the castle, overlooking outsiders like they weren’t anything.

All his features were striking, so striking you nearly missed that scar carved over the side of his mouth, over his lips. It made him look threatening, dangerous. Everything in your body was telling you to run.

He had a bored frown on his face, devoid of any empathy for a lonely girl stranded in the forest. That’s when his lips suddenly curled up into a smirk, his canine teeth poking out ravenously as he leered at you, his scar contorting with his expression.

“What’s a cute little thing like you doing out here all by yourself?” he quizzed.

Those eyes of his were staring straight into your soul, you took a step back, prepared to run, but you had just witnessed first-hand how he pierced that bear’s heart with the instrument in his hand.

You gulped, pulling it together before tilting your chin up a bit, “Are you the owner of this cottage?”

“You mean my hut? Yeah,” the man responded quite dully. “But you didn’t answer my question. We don’t get many visitors out here.”

“I . . . got lost finding my way back to the village,” you replied warily, clearly unaware of the area.

“You need to go back to Shikigami Village? Sweetheart, you’re headed in the wrong direction. The village is a mile that way,” he responded, pointing to your left. When you peered off into the direction he was beckoning to, you wet your lips in apprehension. That’s when he cocked a brow at you, “You’re not from around here are you?”

“That’s none of your concern,” you huffed indignantly.

He shrugged, “Fine by me. Good luck getting back.”

He started heading back towards his little home and you stood there with your jaw ajar. You watched him take several steps before you bunched up your dress so you could catch up to him.

“W-wait! Are you seriously not going to help me?” you cried, steps frantic.

The man stopped in his tracks when you stood between him and his hut. He tilted his head to the side, “I told you the village is that way, didn’t I? You interrupted my meal I was going to eat.”

He walked around you as he continued his path straight to the little structure he called a home.

You scurried along his side, looking up at him, “Mister, I haven’t eaten since yesterday. I’m famished and I have no clue where my horse is. You wouldn’t leave a young lady in the dangerous forest all by herself, would you?”

It seemed like he was pondering for a moment, “Actually, I would. Good night.”

He started walking again and you gripped his arm, making him stop again. When he looked down at you, he felt trapped in the trembling helpless look you were returning him.

“Please, what if I encounter another beast? I won’t last. I—I . . . I’ll pay you handsomely for a meal and a way to the village,” you offered panickily.

He looked you up and down, you were half his size, he couldn’t help but feel a bit responsible for making sure you were safe now.

He groaned, “Alright. Come in.”

Your face lit up and you spluttered, “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

The tall man patted your hand before opening the door, trying to act calm about an attractive young woman clinging onto him so willingly as he entered his home. When you entered the cottage, you were graced by the scent of herbs and spices. It was a cramped space, though. A small kitchen in one corner, a tiny lounge area in another, a workshop space in the back by a rickety spiral staircase leading to another floor. It was all barely the size of your personal chambers alone.

“I hate to break it to you, but this is not a hut,” you told the man. “Huts don’t have stairs.”

He shut the door as you let go of his arm. Glancing at you over his shoulder he asked, “What is it then?”

“A cottage,” you piped while taking off your torn cloak. “As I said earlier.”

“No, cottages are for folk like you,” he said gruffly as he let his archery gear fall to the floor by the door.

“Folk like me?” you put your hands on your hips, the corset of your dress defining your figure in all the right ways as he tried to casually check you out.

“Yeah,” he said curtly. “Y’know, shopkeepers and such.”

You gasped in offense, watching him step towards the kitchen, “I am not of such a low status! You don’t know who I am?”

The man tossed something indifferently into the stove, not sparing you so much as a glance as he cut slabs of some sort of meat with a butcher knife.

“You married to a merchant or something?” he asked. “’Cuz someone as hot as you stumbling on my hut seems unlikely if your tied to some merchant.”

Your brows furrowed from where you were behind the wooden countertop he had facing the rest of the home.

“I am not a merchant’s wife. I’m not even married—”

“Thank god,” he murmured, his scarred mouth barely moving.

“Excuse me?!” you questioned.

“Nothin’,” he said quickly.

You raised a brow as you studied him again in the warm light of the golden lanterns he had around the place. He would take a moment to think before he continued his next step in cooking, as if he was trying to recollect a vision of someone explaining the process to him. He had an adorable crease between his brows as he tried to think, almost making you forget how dangerous the man was.

You smiled playfully, leaning your elbows on the counter, “Hey, you never told me your name?”

He turned away from the meat he was cooking and faced you, “You first. You’re the stranger here.”

“Right. Where are my manners?” you straightened your posture before formally curtseying, “Y/n.”

He nodded at you as a form of greeting you, “Fushiguro. Toji Fushiguro.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” you smiled, bowing your head. All Toji does in response is another inattentive nod, returning to whatever it was he was cooking. Your eyes caught a small emblem on his wall by the window. “Excuse me, what is that?”

Toji flicked his eyes to where you were pointing. Blandly, he responds, “That’s the Zenin Clan crest.”

“Zenin?” you squinted in thought, recognizing the name immediately. “Like the royal clan of Hollow Kingdom? They are faithful servants of the king and queen.”

Toji maintained a disposition of irritation, like your presence was a great bother. “Yes, like the royal clan.”

“How come you have their crest?” you asked, thinking about the clan itself, how the members were cold but your father saw great value in them in further bettering the kingdom.

“I worked for them a long time ago,” he answered bluntly.

You frowned, “Why is someone who had ties with such an elite family here in the middle of a forest all the way at the edge of the kingdom?”

Toji scowled, peeling his hooded eyes away from the pot on the stove, “That is none of your business.”

That look on his pretty face, total detestation. In this light, you would see how bright and smooth his skin was. His face was carved and chiseled, sharp and menacing.

From the twenty some minutes you have known the guy, you knew he clearly valued his privacy. Of course, he did. He was living alone in the middle of the woods when there was an entire village hardly a mile from here.

You groaned, closing your eyes and thinking about how you got here in the first place. You muttered under your breath, “I’m going to kill Ijichi.”

Toji cocked a thin brow, looking over his shoulder at you, “Who’s Ijichi?”

“He’s the royal stableboy up in the capital of the kingdom. He’s the one who trained my horse, he’s a nice boy, but my horse is a real piece of work. Stupid thing ran off and left me in the heat, damn traitor,” you grumbled.

Toji pointed at the window, “You mean that horse?”

Your gaze flicked to the window behind you to see the blonde-haired steed outside the cottage, poking its head in.

“Reiner!” you gasped. You rushed over to grab his face and scold him, “Bad boy, I can’t believe you abandoned me! You coward. Give me that.”

You yanked your satchel from his side and pressed it against your chest. Toji narrowed his eyes as he studied you once again, registering your face, your clothes, the way your face hardly gave much away when you spoke or when he replied to you.

“Where were you coming from then? I know you aren’t from around here if you’re headed to the capital,” Toji asked as he set two plates on the roundtable.

You sighed, taking a seat by his side, “I was enrolled in a girls’ school in Strawdoll City. I need to go home to my uncle’s estate. I’m not quite prepared to go back to the castle yet, my parents must be furious. Thank you,” you added as he handed you a spoon to begin eating.

“Castle?” he quizzed, gulping down a spoonful of broth from the chicken stew he made.

His pupils dilated as he put the puzzle pieces together. A beautiful young lady in a pretty dress . . . saying she’s of high royal status . . . fully aware of the prestigious Zenin Clan . . . attending a rich private school in a wealthy city . . . all prim and proper with her ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ . . . her stableboy in the capital of the kingdom . . . she needs to go home to her castle . . .

“You’re the princess?!” he froze in his seat.

“Uh . . . yes,” you answered before blowing on your soup gently.

His eyes widened when you seemed so casual about it. He tensed up, “Yes?! You don’t understand, I can’t have the princess of the land in my house! If anyone finds out, they’ll think I kidnapped you and did something questionable.”

You chuckled, “No need to worry, Toji, my friend. I won’t peep a word to anybody . . . as long as you get me back to Shikigami Village safely and fetch me a carriage.”

“Absolutely not, sweetheart,” he retorted gruffly as he stood up. “Listen, you’re cute and all, but I’ll be skinned alive if the soldiers patrolling the cities find out I’m housing the princess while the king and queen are searching for her. I’m just a poor archer who likes to be left alone. I don’t want any part of this.”

“Uh—what? You’re going to kick me out?!” you cried. “That’s a crime! To turn down the princess’s request! To throw her out where she could be in imminent danger!”

“Maybe the princess should’ve stayed at school like her parents told her to, children should listen to their parents,” he scolded from where he stood.

You set down the spoon with much force, “I’m hardly a child! My twentieth birthday was just a few days ago and they’re just going to marry me off to that weird prince within the week! I need to get to my uncle and aunt before my parents make the arrangements final. Besides, I promised to pay to a generous hand. I’ll bring you gold, livestock, clothes, all the riches you desire.”

It was true, your parents already had a suitor in mind, but you found him rather odd. He was a man you shared no interests with, resulting in you barely carrying a conversation with him the few times you had met him. The intimacy in your meetings with the prince of your neighboring land was practically invisible. The idea of marrying him seemed like a form of torture.

Toji turned his back to you, crossing his arms sternly. You were fuming with a mix of rage and hopelessness, you needed to appeal to him somehow. Your future depended on it. You ruminated on what you’d read in the books in the castle study.

Slowly, you stood up. Luckily, your dress was very flattering for your figure, the corset complimenting your waist and chest. You ruffled up your hair before painting an innocent look on your face.

“Toji,” you said his name softly.

He turned to face you at your sultry tone. When he saw you, his heart seemed caged in his throat, he was like a deer in headlights. He couldn’t pry his eyes away, not with the lustful and playful glint in your eye.

“Please, I’ll do anything,” you said suggestively.

There would be no use in lying to say he didn’t find you attractive. You were a lady much too beautiful for her own good. Someone who knew she was desirable.

He gulped, looking you up and down. When he met your eyes again, he answered, “Fine.”

Then it hit you, you didn’t think he would actually jump at the offer to ravage your body, but here you were. A stupid girl for trying something you read of in all your romance books. You tried not to shiver, expecting him to begin touching you already.

But he didn’t.

He replied coldly, “Here’s the deal. You arrange for fifty bags of gold, wheat, and a supply of bread if I get you back to your uncle’s estate. And throw in a few sheep here and there.”

You were relieved, but a bit taken aback at the turn of events. You narrowed your eyes at him, he rejected your offer of taking your body as payment. What kind of man was he?

“You don’t want to—”

“Have my way with a girl as gorgeous as yourself?” he finished for you, green eyes glinting deviously in the light. “I’d love to, trust me, but it’s not every day the princess of the land makes you an offer. I’ll take all the money I can from it. Of course, if you’d like me to pleasure you in the way you were just insinuating, I wouldn’t mind having a night of passion with the princess as a bonus with my newfound wealth.”

You gasped before you strode up to him, landing a cruel smack across his face.

“What?” he breathed out. “You were the one that was trying to get into bed with me!”

“Because I thought you would do the humane thing and decide to help me without anything in return!” you spat. “Turns out you’re a freeloading vulture trying to take advantage of a helpless girl!”

He rubbed his cheek as Reiner watched from the window, letting out a humorous neigh, “You got quite the arm, princess. I’m still getting the gold and sheep, right?”

You spun on your heel to take a seat on the cushioned seats he had in the lounge, “No sheep. I’ll arrange for everything else. Pervert.”

Toji scowled and walked up to you, glaring down at you, “You’re the pervert. You started it.”

“Ugh, men,” you said venomously. A sting of pain flashed through your leg again, making you wince as you started lifting up the skirt of your dress.

Toji practically choked, “What are you doing?”

You lifted the dress right below your knee to reveal a gash on your flesh. It must’ve been from when you fell outside. His pupils were blown, relieved you weren’t lifting your skirt up for any other particular reason.

Toji immediately turned around and headed for the kitchen. He came back a short moment later with a damp cloth and what seemed like fresh cloths as makeshift wraps. He bent down and craned his head to meet your eyes.

“Is it alright if I touch you?” he asked gently, his voice all husky and gruff but still hitting that note of sincerity. Something you wouldn’t expect from a man like him.

You offered a stunned stare, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as you slowly nodded. He gently held your calf, pressing the cloth to your wound. You watched him intently, feeling a twang of guilt for shouting at him a moment prior.

He pulled away after tending to your injury, peering up at you as you gazed back with a glimmer of gratitude. He gave you a tender look, similar to the one you gave him. The silence was searing the air like a wildfire, heat building in your throat.

Without saying anything, he lifted you up bridal style. You wanted to retort, but decided not to thrash in his hold as he ascended up the stairs. Once he got to the second floor, he smoothly set you down on his bed.

He stepped back and you stared up at him. Coldly, he said, “It’s late, your majesty. You should rest. We have a lot of land to cover in the morning. I’ll be sleeping downstairs if you need me.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but opted to snap it shut instead. He shut the door and you heard his footsteps growing faint as he returned downstairs. You couldn’t deny how incredibly confused you were, instead you pulled the covers over your body and dozed off. Not even bothering to get out of the suffocating corset dress and get into your cotton night gown with how exhausted you were.

You woke up to the sound of rustling outside. You sat up straight before slipping off the bed and freshening up in the bathroom. It was a difficult task to put it in simple terms. It didn’t have the luxuries of your personal bath. There wasn’t any hot water, the faucet made a screeching noise every time you moved the handle, and you didn’t have your pink loofa.

What sin were you being punished for like this?

You stepped into the kitchen, not seeing the archer that rescued you last night. A sound from outside drew you to open the front door, seeing Toji sitting on a tree stump, sharpening a knife. Reiner was a few feet away, wearing a disgusted expression as he eyed the archer.

“Morning, princess,” Toji called, smiling impishly.

You approached him, “Good morning. What’s going on?” You were referring to the several bags he had strewn on your horse’s side.

“Oh, we’re going now,” he got up and tucked the dagger in his boot.

“Now?!”

“Yup,” Toji piped. “I suggest we move along when your horse is in a good mood. He seems to hate me for no reason.”

You looked at Reiner, hints of agitation on his equestrian face. You scoffed, “Have you met yourself? My horse is a good judge of character, maybe you did something to upset him.”

“No!” Toji’s jaw dropped. “I pet him, and he tried chomping my arm off!”

You stepped towards Reiner, cradling his face which he seemed to enjoy. “He’s a sweetheart. He only does that when he sees someone as a threat.”

Toji muttered, “Stupid damn horse.”

Reiner got up from his laying position to charge at the hunter and you held your hands up in front of him, “Woah, there, boy. He’s a friend. He’s helping us get to Uncle’s home. Relax.”

“I even gave you food,” Toji furrowed his brows, glowering at the animal as if he were his rival. “Anyway, let’s go. This trip is going to take a few days. I need to get back so I can go back to business.”

You nodded, following him as he mounted your horse. He helped you up, guiding you to slide your hands around his waist for support. You didn’t question anything, understanding that it was his way of helping you. He handed you an apple for you to eat along the way.

“We’re going to cut through the village—Shikigami I mean,” Toji told you. “Then we’re going to go through the town of Starrage and Shadowton county before we get to the capital.”

You groaned, “That’s going to take us days—maybe more than that and that’s if we travel with no breaks.”

“Mhm,” Toji hummed sheepishly. “We probably won’t get there for another week, I’d say. We’d be lucky if we got to Shadowton in five days even.”

You let out an aggravated groan.

“Don’t complain now, darling. You asked for this. If you don’t want to be caught before your parents realize you aren’t at ballerina charm school, you’re going to have to rough it out with this poor archer,” he pointed to himself with his thumb.

“Ballerina charm school?” you squinted. “What the hell?”

“I don’t know what the fuck princesses do,” he answered in defense.

“That was an academy to sharpen my mind in studies and what it takes to be a lady of the court so I’ll be prepared for marriage and being a princess to another land,” you grumbled.

“You don’t want to marry?” Toji asked. “I thought that was every girl’s dream.”

“I do want to get married, just not like this. I want it on my own terms, not my parents’,” you muttered.

“What? You wanna fall in love and have that guy use you to become king or something?” Toji said. “Isn’t that a bit foolish?”

“No, it isn’t. What’s wrong with falling in love? You’re just thinking in the sense of the cheap sicko you are,” you retorted.

“Maybe,” Toji chuckled. “It seems a bit unrealistic. Something from those plays they put together in town square.”

“I wouldn’t know,” you mumbled. “I’ve never been to any town play before.”

“Really?” Toji glanced at you. “They perform them all the time. It’s kinda hard to miss.”

“I’ve only read about romance, I’ve never seen any plays. In fact, this is my first time going to a village outside of my castle.”

“What?!” Toji sharply quizzed. “You haven’t left the castle until now?!” You nodded and he gave you a pitiful look. “No wonder you’re so hopeless. What do you even do in there?”

“Read books in my room, go to the gardens, watch the stars from my window,” you answered softly.

Toji didn’t say anything, instead he let silence take over as the two of you got to Shikigami village.

“I’m thinking you should probably get a new dress,” Toji advised. “Yours is torn, people might label you as promiscuous. I can’t have that. And you have to look like a villager if we keep going or we’ll be seen as suspicious.”

You didn’t respond, opting to just listen to his advice as he led you to a dress shop. Inside he discussed with a deal with the seamstress to let you select a few dresses, apparently, she owed him a favor. After you were in a fresh dress with another pair of them for the rest of the trip, the two of you continued to trek through the village, reaching the outskirts as you entered another forest yet again.

You two continued with the small talk again as you reached the town of Starrage. It was nightfall, your horse was incredibly tired and so were the two of you.

“I know a guy. He’ll let us stay here for a while,” Toji informed you as the two of you dragged your feet to a hostel.

A brown-haired man opened the door, he was muscular with broad shoulders and he had big brown eyes. He seemed cheerful enough, yelling, “Toji! My favorite hunter dude. How are you? And who’s this beauty you’re with?”

The unnamed man bowed his head, taking your hand to place a courteous gentlemanly kiss on the back of it, “My apologies, I’m Takuma Ino, owner of this establishment.”

“Hello, I’m Y/n,” you answered with a small smile.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful lady,” he winked.

“Ino, we’re on our way to the kingdom’s capital. We traveled all day, mind if we crash for here for a night or two?” Toji had a frown on his face.

“Stay as long as you want,” Ino nodded enthusiastically. “I’ll take you to your room.”

“Oh, we have separate rooms, right?” you asked politely.

“We only have one available room, I’m all booked,” Ino said with a frown. “I thought you would want to share the same room since you’re together.”

“We aren’t together like that,” Toji explained crossly. “We’re together for business. We’ll be out of your hair by morning. Just take us to the room.”

“Alright, I’ll have the guys take your horse to the stables for the night. I’ll bring you two something to eat, too,” Ino said before leading you up the stairs.

He opened a door for you and wished you a goodnight right as he left. The room was small, only a single small bed inside and a few pieces of furniture here and there.

“You can take the bed, your majesty,” Toji groaned. “I can just go out to the stables and sleep there.”

He turned to grab the doorknob but as if your hand had a mind of its own, it shot out to grasp his arm. He looked to face you.

“No, stay here with me. I don’t like to be alone,” you spoke softly.

The archer stared at you for a moment in silence, but obliging nonetheless. He sat down with you as you quietly began eating the meal Ino had left for you.

“Where are you from? I thought you’d be from Shikigami village, but you must’ve moved around a lot. How come you live in the forest a mile away?” you asked after a few moments.

“I’m not from there. My family . . . lives in the capital. I just like being on my own. I hunt and stuff, it’s how I make my living. The village pays a high price for my archery skills,” he replied to you.

The words that came out of his mouth were hardly believable. Even though you spent much of your time in the castle, that much you could tell—there was something he wasn’t telling you about his family.

“You are from the capital,” you stated, eyes low. “Why would you leave for a life of searching for scraps?”

He didn’t reply immediately, he had his pretty eyes transfixed on the ground, “My family never liked me. It’s easier to be away from them rather than with them.”

“Why didn’t they like you?” the offense in your voice sounded like you were the one insulted, not him. It made him study your face. Closely. He saw hurt and confusion on your face and he wanted to remind you that he was the one that should’ve held that look. But why would you even care?

“They thought I was weak, punished me pretty often for it,” Toji frowned.

“Weak?” you scoffed, facing your food again. “That’s ridiculous.”

Toji chuckled, “Yeah, it is pretty ridiculous.”

“You’re the most strongest man I’ve ever met,” you said, taking another bite.

Toji pursed his lips, blinking sheepishly as he watched you eat. He hardly can think, his heart felt like it was masking his ears, like it was all it could hear. He shook his head, facing away again.

“I didn’t want to take their path, so they work for royalty and what not,” he said.

“Oh, I see,” you breathed softly. “Does this have to do with why you worked with the Zenin Clan?”

“The Zenins . . .” Toji muttered, “were the ones who thought I was weak.”

“You . . . are a Zenin?” you quizzed, brows raising. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“You’re you, that’s why,” he said like he was waking up from a deep slumber.

“You left them because of how they treated you?” you frowned. “Not just because of work?”

He tensed up, but his tone seemed unwavering, “They exiled me from the family estate and shunned me when I was sixteen.”

He was a child. He needed his family, and they threw him out on the streets, no wonder he doesn’t like the nobility.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you murmured.

“Don’t be sorry, princess,” he answered stoically. “Don’t really care all that much. It’s been seven years”

“You know, the knights could use an experienced archer like you. I’ve never seen a knight shoot an arrow as well as you do. I could arrange for you to come to the city. It would probably be better than those woods,” you pointed.

He chuckled, “I’m in no mood to be a slave for the royal family. I’m okay just where I am.”

“Why don’t you join your friend here then? How come you’re alone?”

“People always gave me strange treatment, like I was some nuisance. It didn’t bother me but it’s fun to just be on your own,” Toji gave you the short version of his answer.

“That’s a sad life,” you sighed.

Toji said nothing in response for a second, proceeding to shortly say, “So is being locked up in a castle with no free will.”

He was expecting a shoe to be thrown at him or some angry comments in return, but you chuckled softly, “I guess that’s true. I haven’t had this much fun in my life.”

Toji peered down at you, watching as you patted your mouth with a handkerchief.

“Well, good night, Toji,” you moved to the head of the bed. “I hope the floor doesn’t bother your back too much.”

And with that, you pulled the covers up and he let out a disdained huff.

The next day seemed more promising than before, Reiner wasn’t trying to chew on Toji’s hair and they seemed to be getting along a bit better than before. You were well fed, freshly bathed, and well rested, too. The trip also seemed a bit more fun as you explained the plot of certain books you read in the castle library to Toji.

“He dies to save her?” he quizzed.

“Yup,” you exclaimed. “Isn’t it romantic?”

“There’s nothing romantic about death,” the archer shot back.

“I mean the fact he died to protect her,” you purred. “His love for her was so pure.”

“Only thing pure was the poison he drank,” Toji mumbled.

“Ugh, you’re simple-minded. You’ll never understand,” you ruffled your skirt a bit.

Toji understood alright, he just didn’t see the point in it. But the way you got so excited while explaining a story made him want to hear more.

“Tell me another story,” Toji suggested. “Maybe one where they both don’t die.”

You rolled your eyes as you began explaining another novel you liked.

Although you both thought it would be impossible to reach Shadowton by the end of the week, you did end up making it to a ranch owned by another one of Toji’s friends.

“Thank you, Shiu,” Toji smirked somewhat genuinely.

“Yeah, whatever,” Shiu responded. “If you two need anything, I’ll be in the house.”

“Thank you so much,” you said as he walked away towards his house in the distance. You turned to Toji who was setting up a place for himself to sleep on the floor. “I can sleep on the floor this time.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he argued. “If I’m uncomfortable or anything I could just go and sleep in the living room up in Shiu’s house.”

That house was a far walk from Shiu’s guest house which the two of you were in. You knew he wasn’t going up there just because you’d get scared being all alone. Now that you thought about it, he was doing all in his power to make you feel comfortable and safe from the moment you met.

“What are you going to do when you get the money?” you blurted.

A little stunned by your sudden query, he blinked, staring at you. “I-uh, haven’t thought about any of that. I’ve been thinking and I had something to tell you. You don’t need to give me anything in return. Just go to your uncle’s and get him to convince your parents to choose your own life.”

Your lips parted, “You . . . don’t want the gold?”

“Yeah, keep it. I’ll just make sure you’re safely where you need to be and I’ll just go back to my hut,” he shrugged.

You stepped towards him, “Listen, I’m grateful for your help. I’d feel terrible if there was nothing I could do in return.”

He waved his hand dismissively, “Nah, I’m okay. I’ll just go to see a friend of mine there and I’ll be on my way back.”

“To be alone again?” you asked timidly, stepping towards him. His breath wavered as you drew nearer. “Toji, you seem like you don’t care about being lonely all the time, but you’ve also been having a lot of fun the past few days—with me—not being alone by yourself. Why would you want to go back to that?”

“I . . .  don’t,” he replied, wearing a grim expression as his heart picked up speed.

“Me neither,” you said.

He suddenly chuckled, throwing you off guard. His pretty black hair fell into his eyes, “I can’t believe I had to act as your chauffeur the last week.”

“Hey!” you pointed. “Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it.”

“Never said I didn’t,” he sighed, looking at you—longingly.

You both stared at each other, not noticing how close you two were getting with each passing moment. His sharp green eyes flicked between yours and your lips. You couldn’t seem to understand why your hands were quivering or why you couldn’t stop them. Slowly, you both leaned in, closing your eyes as your lips finally met. It was a soft kiss, no force behind it.

Just two people teetering on the edge of a cliff, baby steps before deciding whether to dive in or not. So, your lips brushed against each other’s with feather lightness.

When your lips parted, you shared another look, not saying anything before you leaned more into the kiss again. Toji cupped your face as you gripped the front of his shirt, craning your neck up since he was undeniably tall.

He moved your head to the side, angling your jaw to deepen the kiss. His touch was gentle, his thumb slowly outlined your cheekbone. And one of the things that stormed your mind was how tender his touch was ad how rough of an exterior he had—this big tough man being so soft and gentle.

The archer bent his neck down more while simultaneously pulling you closer to him. He bit your bottom lip, pulling it down slightly so he could slide his tongue in, prompting a soft moan from you.

Your hands were bunching up the fabric of his shirt, tugging it upwards. He understood what your intention was, there was no need for verbal instructions. With his mouth still on yours, he dragged his shirt off his body, parting from you for a brief moment to slide it off his head before he went back to hungrily kissing you.

Your hands moved to cradle his cheeks, letting his tongue clash with yours as his own hands slid down to your waist. You had only read about the immense pleasure of intimacy in books, the actual experience itself was drastically better than inked letters on parchment.

His mouth traveled down your jaw and neck, pressing hot open mouth kisses wherever they’d touch. His teeth grazed your shoulder, letting them sink into your skin. His lips were searing into your body, teeth marking you up like you were one of his prey.

You let your fingertips trace his toned muscles. As much as you told him you didn’t like him being alone in the woods, you had to admit, it did do him justice, maybe being alone wasn’t so bad. It led you two to each other, right?

You sighed when his large hands continued to roam your body, coming back up to the collar of your frilly nightgown. He stopped kissing you for a moment, pulling back to drag the sleeves off your shoulder, making it simpler for your white gown to slip off your body.

As the cotton dress fell to the floor, Toji’s eyes lingered on your bare frame. Only your panties on at this point, and he knew that getting the princess this naked was enough to be considered treason.

He could not give a fuck though because Toji pulled you flush against his torso, lips back on you yet again as he guided you towards the bed.

He let you fall back onto the mattress, letting you crawl back so he could loom over you. Your eyes stayed on every bit of him, soaking in all that he was. Tall, muscular, arms veiny and strong. Face pretty and handsome all at once, practically glistening in the pale moonlight.

He leaned in and your finger traced the curve of his mouth, then that scar on the corner of his lips. You pressed your lips to it, kissing it before you felt his tongue slide across yours, a sudden animalistic incline in his tempo.

The man pulled away for a brief moment, looking at you in the eyes as if he was expecting you to suddenly remember you were the princess to a prestigious kingdom and sleeping with him did not fall into your line of duty. But you stayed silent, eyes begging him to touch you again. And so he did.

His hands cupped your tits, squeezing them and drawing out heinous noises from you. He bent down, kissing between the valley of your chest, eyes flicking up at you. He moved to wrap his mouth around your nipple and you squirm.

Your back arched off the mattress as he sucked and licked your boobs—the air in the room felt too hot and too cold all at once. You couldn’t even decide between all the panting but all you knew was that you loved this.

“What do your little books tell you about this?” Toji teased, biting your pert nipple and burying his face in your chest.

“D-don’t make fun,” you shivered. “I could have you thrown in prison.”

“Let me show what can get me exiled first then,” Toji joked, licking up the mound and dragging his tongue to the side of your neck.

He looped his fingers through the side of your panties before dragging them off your legs, discarding them in some forgotten corner of the room. You watched shamelessly as he pulled down his pants along with his underwear.

A panicked gulp traveled haphazardly down your throat as you gawked at his muscular frame. Your parents would be mortified if they knew you were in bed naked with a mere hunter—exiled family member of the Zenin Clan to make matters worse. But that didn’t stop you when Toji littered loving kisses on your shoulders, lips finding their way down to your tits.

His mouth latched onto your perked nipple, the flat of his tongue flicking over the sensitive bud as his fingers made their way between your thighs.

When his fingers grazed your folds, you threw your head back into the sheets, panting harder. His thumb circled over your clit, making you squirm underneath him. He couldn’t help but crack a smile at how wet you were, desperately wanting to tease you about how you might’ve read about things like this in your prim little books.

“Have you never touched yourself before, princess?” he smirked with half-lidded eyes.

The question felt like a it came out of left field; a sudden nerve being struck at the lewd ask. Your conflicted look was enough to throw him over the edge, you turned your face away and stammered, “I-um . . .”

He inched his finger into your opening, lips hovering over yours as he keenly watched your face contort in pleasure. But he paused, bringing you back to your senses as you shot him a confused look, expecting him to have done more.

Before you could ask him anything though, he moved back, staring down at you as he brought his mouth down to plant kissed on your thighs. A shaky gasp left the back of your throat, and the man had to stop himself from letting his emotions get the better of himself and fuck you right then and there, but he knew . . . it was your first time, he had to be gentle.

“Who knew the princess could be so lewd?” Toji teased, his breath fanning over your cunt as he leaned in closer.

You whined, making him let out a low laugh.

“I guess I’ll be the only one to ever know,” he whispered right before he placed a languid lick from the bottom of your slit to the top.

The moan leaving your lips had desperation and pleasure laced intricately together, wordlessly begging him for more. How could he possibly resist you, especially with the way your fingers were woven in his hair, tugging and grazing his scalp so wantonly.

One of his hands were wrapped around your thigh while his other hand worked to rub your clit, occasionally flicking his tongue over it as he placed soft kisses on your mound.

It wasn’t meant to be sudden, but it seemed like it when his tongue prodded into your opening, running itself along the slickness of your walls. An unforgiving yank at his hair seemed well-deserved, but he didn’t let that stop him from angling his head to let his muscle hit deeper inside you, his nose rubbing against your swollen clit.

The deep rumble from his throat added for an extra stimulation, making your toes curl and your body to writhe under his touch even more. Squeals and short breaths from your mouth were all sending his blood rushing, good thing you couldn’t see. 

You were beginning to shake uncontrollably, your lip tucked between your teeth to hold back your moans. His warm eyes were transfixed on your face, noting the way your brows were knitting and your back was arching in sheer ecstasy.

He retracted his tongue from your entrance, spitting on your pussy so lewdly, and making you gasp. He began rubbing his saliva over your slit, spreading it and making you even wetter before going back to eating you out.

A heat was pooling in your gut, something making your legs tremble and your shoulders jerk in a cold shiver. You cried out, coming all over his tongue which he laid out flat to lap up your secretions.

He never stopped rubbing your clit, even while he was licking up your cum. Your face was flushed, a burning sensation fluttering across your cheeks as you basked in the afterglow. Toji finally pulled back, lips darting out to wet his lips as he pulled you by your thighs, bringing you closer to him.

He studied your flustered state. Your hair fanned out in an unruly yet perfect manner, a sheen of sweat on your face from the effects of your orgasm, and your glossed over eyes staring back at him. For the first time, he didn’t see a princess. He saw you, just you.

The thought of your kind eyes and warm smile were enough to make his heart flutter, making him a bit more nervous than he expected. He bent down, kissing your lips as he wrapped his hand around his cock, guiding it to your entrance.

“This might hurt a bit,” he mumbled against your lips. “I’ll go nice and slow.”

You nodded, eyes hazy as you felt him inching his way into your soppy walls. He was huge, it felt like he was splitting you open on his cock.

You softly moaned into his mouth, the vibration making his pulse quicken. The feeling of him inside you stretching you out caused you to grip his upper arm, fingernails prickling his skin. He pulled back, keeping his eyes locked on you as he drew his hips back before snapping them against yours.

A choked gasp was all you could sputter at the sudden action, he rocked his hips again, this time slow and deep. Your hands went to his back, nails trailing down in response to his movements as he kept thrusting, picking up speed as he went on.

Toji hissed at the sensation of your fingers running down his back, burying his head in the crook of your neck with shaky pants gracing your ear. Your legs mindlessly wrapped themselves around his waist, toes curling in reaction to the tip of his cock rutting against the entrance of your cervix repeatedly. Your walls were beginning to clamp around him, pulling him in deeper and producing obscene sounds where the two of your bodies met.

He groaned lowly, his forehead pressing onto yours now as you felt him throb inside you. One of his hands tangled in your hair while his other one stroked your waist, occasionally grabbing at your hip to draw you closer to him.

“Does it feel good?” he asked breathlessly. “Doesn’t hurt right?”

You hummed, shaking your head and snaking your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

“Good, you’re doing such a good job,” he murmured. “You feel . . .you feel fucking perfect.”

Tears formed in your eyes from the sheer intensity of the pleasure. At times, you couldn’t understand the appeal of sex when you read about it, but the reality of it changed your mind completely.

A strangled breath from him let you know he was close, same thing with the way your jaw hung loosely. His breathing became unsteady and through gritted teeth, he choked out your name.

With another few strokes, a rush of liquid gushed out, pouring into your cunt. You threw your head back when you were becoming undone as well, for the second time that night.

He didn’t move to get up and get dressed or leave the room like you half-expected him to. Toji stayed right where he was, lifting his head to look down at you.

He wasn’t sure exactly what to say. What was the right thing to say?

Hey, sorry maybe fucking the princess wasn’t the best idea. After all, your parents could toss me into some dungeon and have me decapitated. I’ll be on my way now!

He stayed quiet, but he couldn’t look away or lift a finger. Thoughts flooded his mind as he gaped at you. Thoughts about how you both still had a decent chunk of the trip left, and how you were on your way to potentially be matched with a suitor, that prince from the next kingdom over. It was making his blood boil, thinking of how another man would get to have you. It seemed unfair, especially when he knew he had a status nowhere near what you or your parents had planned for.

That was if you even wanted him.

You pushed his hair out of his eyes, cupping his cheeks and bringing him down to meet your lips again. This time, the kiss was tender, your lips lingering on his a moment longer than anticipated.

You didn’t let go of him, though, instead whispering, “It’s okay, I’m not planning on telling anyone.”

He sighed, “That’s not what I’m thinking.”

You cocked a brow, “Oh? What is it then?”

Toji’s mind faltered for a bit, the usual mouth-running attitude was in hiding, “You’re probably getting married soon. You . . . you’re practically engaged.”

You blinked twice slowly, pursing your lips, “I don’t care about a prince. That’s not what I want.”

Your words were like medicine, or some sort of drug, they were healing him and making him feel like he could fly or do something ridiculous like that. Being in the entraps of the Shikigami forest had been a shield to protect himself from the people of the outside world. Sure, he had his fair share of sex from time to time but this, this was different. There was never a moment in his god forsaken life he had felt the need to put someone else before him. Not until he stumbled across you, of course. He was almost half grateful a bear had chased you that night, because it led you to his arms.

“Y/n . . .”

You grinned childishly, “You called me my name.”

“Huh?” he sputtered.

“You called me by my name,” you repeated, still beaming. “You always call me by my official title, but you said my name.”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, which was a little humorous considering he was on top of you still.

“No, I like it, makes me feel a bit normal,” you explained.

“If that’s what you want,” Toji offered a small smile. “But you—you’re serious?”

You nodded.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of a horse in the distance stirred you two out of your little world. You both giggled, recognizing the horse to be Reiner in the stables.

He was still facing the window with a little smile on his face, you pushed him over, bending down to kiss him again.

“I should probably let you get your beauty sleep, I’ll go on to my set up,” he murmured.

“No,” you shook your head. “Stay with me . . . at least for tonight.”

He was frozen, the way your thumb circled his cheek was making them burn up, but nonetheless, he nodded.

He reached down to pull up the blanket, covering both your bodies and nuzzling you closer to his side, not even bothering to think about how you still had a long way to go.

hope you enjoyed! likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!

[meansevika]

— this fandom has a vast misogynoirist problem and, yes, this also applies to YOU reading this right now; a post filled w unsorted thoughts you should read if you genuinely want black fans to feel safe in fandom spaces with you

i am going to preface this right away w how disappointed i am in some of the people who follow me, who will occasionally like a post calling out misogynoir but only if its comfortable and only if its worded nicely and only if its against someone they dislike and not someone they do like. i am directly talking to my non-black followers because i do not expect black fans to expose themselves to this kind of hatred and thinly (and not so thinly) veiled racism we are faced w on a daily basis. some of you have a big following and a big portion of that following is white and YOU have the opportunity to use your POWER (and, yes, even in fandoms there are different power dynamics because logging onto twitter dot com does not remove the burden of blackness within overtly white spaces, this too is a space where having white privileges will get you places) and talk about these issues that have been becoming more and more prevalent.

our voices are not heard and when they are heard they get twisted by white and non-black fans who prioritize their love for shipping and their male centeredness over racism within fandom and more importantly: racism that is perpetuated by them. a very loud portion of this fandom has painted an image of "angry black women" without ever actually calling them black women because they are socially aware enough to know that it is racist to say so. instead they say it in different ways: they call us rabid, they call us delusional, they call us homophobic straights and love to strip us of our queerness in the same breath, they call us ableists even though this fandom has had several conversations about this, they call us aggressive, they say we are jealous of a mlm ship, they say we are irrational, they call us everything but the one thing we are: black. yet the painted picture is very clear to me and surely every other black person who has ever engaged dominantly white spaces: the big black bully! this is the easiest way to "aggressive black woman" your way through genuine critcism without ever saying it w those words nor acknowledging the thing you are criticized for.

and it becomes even more obvious when you read-over and over again-those attempts at demonizing an overtly black part of fandom (which mel/meljay fandom is and which i will come back to later) while NONE ever mention the things black people ARE saying because whenever you get ratioed for cuck art, whenever you get asked why you erase mel from the story, whenever people ask where mel is in arcane character group arts, whenever you mischaracterize mel for a mlm ship, whenever you strip her of her feelings, whenever you make her an abuser, whenever you dehuminaze her, whenever you deify her, whenever you cry that you cannot criticize her yet dont ever criticize her outside of that ship you so like, whenever any of this happens black fans HAVE and WILL tell you that this is antiblack, its misogynistic, but most of all-since a word for this phenomenon already exists-it is misogynoir. you are participating in misogynoir. your every like is supporting misogynoir. the active erasure of a black woman in fandom is misogynoir. whenever you strip black fans of their credibility to speak out against racism bc we are just "crazy shippers on an agenda", that is misogynoir too. people who arent in this fandom have been clocking this. they see us saying this. they avoid watching the show or engaging w this fandom because the misogynoir is so prevalent here and it is unchallenged by everyone but black people and a few allys who actually mean their shit when they talk about allyship.

the rest of you barely skim our texts or just go "well im not racist so this doesnt apply to me" instead of listening to us trying to explain what the issue is. you guys are so sure that you are a good ally, that you arent racist, that nothing you do is ever misogynoirist, yet you dont even realize that you dismiss or even silence black voices you dont like by villainizing every black fan who wants to talk about this and uplifting every black person who says the things you want to hear. to the point that a black user here can use the hard r and white people are trying to educate black people why that is okay or isnt okay. all while that person even apologized and had to tell you guys to not speak over black people in defense of them. do you not see that you are tokenizing the black voices you deem comfortable while ignoring every voice that asks for a little bit of accountability in your contribution to the horrid antiblackness on arcanetwt?

but, no, no, rest assured this doesnt just apply to the fans but to the character in question too after all there is a reason why meltwt/meljaytwt is so outspoken on this. it isnt about her partner being shipped w someone else, most of us dont even care for the ship, our issue is the constant attempt at erasing her from the relationship she was in and those are two completely different things even if you blatantly choose to look the other way and fabricate lies. mel medarda, despite always being spoken about as beautiful and complex and such a great character, so far even that people say they want her to leave jayce so they can have her for herself, has a very small following. she has less fics on ao3 than the others, barely any x reader ship despite so many people claiming to shipping themselves with her, she gets less solo art and even less w other people or her canonical ship. she is constantly being othered. just recently we had someone exclude her from group art and saying she was the teacher while her same aged peers were drawn as students. to many she simply doesnt exist and if you care about mel, if you actually do like her, if you seek out her content, this becomes abundantly clear real quick: mel does not exist as a main character to arcanetwt.

she is a side character to many of you. she is a side character like any other black women in fiction because you as fans were conditioned by young age to view black women as that. you are surrounded by the sassy black best friend, the angry black woman, the disposable black girlfriend who will always just be a temporary love interest, side character a and side character b - you grew up in a world where you view black women like that. that is why her fandom is so small. just like any other black female characters are small. no other main character gets this type of treatment other than her. and that her fandom is so small is just another indicator for that. and that it mostly consists of black fans is another indicator too because those very often are the only ones capable to see a black woman as a character in herself and not just a nice compliment in a sentence in between. this, too, is misogynoir btw and saying "well i just prefer this and this character" only works so many times before you gotta put the work in and question your racial bias and i am telling you YOU HAVE TO to OVERCOME that and i am telling you that because i too used to not care about black female characters.

i grew up in a very white society and was one of those kids who were trying to be as white as possible to cater to white ppl and i had to actively unlearn to ignore dark skinned women in any media and woah let me tell you once you do you realize there are so many beautiful characters to obsess over and so many new people to meet and it WILL change your view on a lot of things in fandom and it will make you AWARE and that is a good thing. you should be woke. being woke is a good thing no matter how many people say it isnt. its just nobody can do this for you but you yourself. you will see the mistreatment of fans and you will get angry about this and you will get uncomfortable too bc you might be nonblack you might even be white but that is just what it is and how its going to be and i appeal to you to be loud w us as well, to fight for a fandom space where white fans arent the only ones who get to enjoy sillies and whimsicals, where we can move and have fun w/o being confronted w unchallenged racism and people being too proud to work on their biases or even take any critcism, i beg you to not gaf about aesthetics and what you want your blog to look like and i beg you to not gaf about what your peers might think of you bc trust me you do not want to be the person belittling antiblackness for the sake of getting a few likes on an art piece where two people you like smooch.

this affects real black people even if arcanetwt wants to say we arent real or dont care about black issues. this is a black issue just like it'd be w any recreational activity

[sintwistir]

My TED talk:

I know that people don't come to a sissy caption Blog for a lecture, but here we are... Feel free to skip this post, or block me if this somehow offends you.

I couldn't care less. 🥰

Typing this on my phone, which is awkward for geriatrics, so forgive me if the format/syntax is less than elegant.

It saddens me that there still exists so much disinformation and misinformation about being trans, especially among the younger generation.

I just had a really disappointing dm conversation with a 25 year old supposed trans girl (she wasn't sure yet). The sheer confidence that they had in their ignorance was astounding. The gist of their opinion was if you were AMAB and attracted to girls, you couldn't be trans, you just had a fetish . Basically, "if you're not trans like ME, for precisely the same reasons and with the same feelings as ME, you're not "really" trans, you're confused/mistaken. "Those people " don't usually transition, because it's just a kink.".

For those who haven't paid attention in the past forty or fifty years, let's recap:

Sexual preference and gender identity are NOT linked. If an AFAB person can and does feel a certain way, it's valid for a transfem to feel that same way. If an AMAB person can and does feel a certain way, it's valid for a transmasc to feel the same way. Basically, the very existence of lesbians validates the existence of trans lesbians.

It's that central disconnect that confuses and confounds many trans people. "If I want to feel feminine, but I also am still attracted to girls, it must just be a kink... I'm obviously not trans..'

It's why the sissy to trans pipeline is a real thing.

Just because you enjoy feminine things, sissy things, it doesn't mean that you're definitely/necessarily trans . But as someone who has been making sissy/forced femme captions for 20+ years, I will tell you anecdotally that the link between sissy and eventual trans "discovery" is so common it's pretty much become a meme at this point .

I resisted identifying as trans for YEARS due to this stigma. I KNEW what I was, a pervert that wanted to wear women's clothes. I was drawn to "forced femme" because I felt I SHOULD be ashamed of how I felt, that I DESERVED to be humiliated for feeling that way.

My friends in the online trans and caption communities knew years before I did that I was trans. My captions made it obvious. In the VAST majority, the main character deeply wants to be a girl, and ends up much happier when someone else "makes' them into one (a girl), absolving them of the responsibility (and the guilt). They normally react with absolute JOY when finally able to live as a girl.

I wallowed in my shame and guilt over my girly feelings for literally decades.

The fact that there are people still struggling with and/or arguing about this in 2025 due to misunderstanding and gatekeeping is seriously disheartening. I struggled with this in 1975, and 1985, and 1995... I had really hoped your generation was already past this.

I made captions back then for me, to help me express my feminine feelings and desires. I make them now for you.

I hope that for at least some "sissies" reading my work, it lets them know that they are not alone.

If you're 'just" a sissy with a feminization/humiliation kink, you are welcome here. And so are trans people . 🥰

Here endeth the lesson.

P.S. These days, I am a bisexual transwoman. Either as a side effect of HRT, or just coming to terms with being trans, I am now attracted to men also, something unthinkable to my prior self. Go figure.

[violetdisasterzone]

For the ask game: 2, 6, 15? 👀

from this ask game !!

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

I prefer the bingqiu dynamic over qiubing for a lot of reasons, but I can at least understand why some people feel like Binghe would be okay with switching if Shen Qingqiu wanted to. but you can NEVER convince me that Shen Qingqiu would top. that man is the most pillow princess whore (affectionate) ever. is part of it caused by his odd relationship w gender dynamics and his self perception of filling the wife role? probably. is part of it also just a cover up for the fact that he prefers being passive and is a total size queen? definitely. do we remember when he was almost disappointed that Binghe wasn't chaining him to the bed like in his meimei's danmei? do we remember the ass wine?? you think those are the thoughts and actions of a top?? absolutely not

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Liushen fans. a lot of them are just having fun in the fanon sandbox exploring a dynamic they liked in canon, and I totally respect that (even if I dislike the ship myself). but there is also a not-so-small group who fully believe that liushen should have been canon, that sv is not a good book because of bingqiu, and even actively hate Luo Binghe. this group also tends to spread a lot of misinfo, like that Shen Qingqiu is only with Luo Binghe to keep him in check and doesn't actually love him, or that Maigu Ridge was full on assault (on Binghe's part). alas, what can we do but block and move on. I can always just go read the actual book to see my ship together and happy, unlike them;)

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

ooh I've got a lot I could say for this one. and ykw I'm just gonna make a list:

Shen Qingqiu with green eyes - and he looks stunning every time, but his eyes are actually just a normal dark color

Binghe permanently depicted in tears - the puppy eyes are powerful but next time I reread I'm going to have to pay attention to how many times he actually cries (and it's def not in front of anyone but Shen Qingqiu). let the man be the badass emperor he is too!

Xin Mo - I love seeing everyone's interpretations on how it would look, how fancy the design is, the size range, whether or not it's leaking ominous black smoke. honestly this applies to everyone's weapons to some extent, Xin Mo is just the most unique design

and here are some things I want to see more in fanart, for fun:

Binghe with more demonic features

Shen Qingqiu with Binghe's huadian/in his colors

monsters!!!

characters that have no canon/semi-canon depictions (like the other unnamed peak lords, random demons, those three fujo nuns, etc)

[scrumptiousstuffs]

see now one thing i truly don't get with somsoms is how terribly incapable of rooting for their own faves they are. does that make sense? like, when First plays those more grayish characters (ex, Akk & Kant) everyone has those swings between “omg my pookie” and “omg ew why would he do that” and it's just so so funny to me. same with Khaotung and what happened for ex with Ray. idonno why our fandom can't just lock in and root for the “bad guys” too.

but i may be biased because i really need fkt to play the biggest villains in the whole universe lol would LOVE to have the fandom where we all can just collectively go “yea my man killed that guy but yk what? HE DESERVED IT.” instead of “my man killed and now he ain't my man anymore”

(btw hii it's me again 🍋)

Hi anon.

From what I can glean (and of course I may be wrong here), most FK fans have no issue with how Kant are being portrayed. It’s the casual viewers of FK/people who generally watch lots of Thai BL but don’t specifically follow FK per se that either had negative take on Kant (with some crossing the lines and starting talking nonsense on First itself) or just skipped KantBison scenes altogether because they perceived it as boring in the 1st half of the series (and then sounded so surprised that Kant was being blackmailed because of his brother. Some didn’t even know he had a younger brother 😑)

However, what I am realising with FK fans, and this is especially with inter-fans are the preconceived ideas they have of the series and then went absolutely bonkers/disappointed when Kant (or Bison) didn’t turn out to be how they thought it should be (it’s already happening with Cat For Cash). Some inter-fans said that it was a missed opportunity to make Kant “more interesting” and he became “boring” after getting together with Bison? (Very puzzled with this). So, in fact, we actually have inter-fans wanting Kant to be even an even greyer character than what he currently is?

Interestingly, I have never seen Thai fans of FK saying anything negative about the series or how they portray KB (maybe I’m not following as many Thai fans?). But I do follow Thai fans that have been with them since at least 2022 or before!). And if these Thai fans put up highlights from Thai reactors from YT - all of these Thai reactors are singing praises on KB acting/scenes.

However, if you look at inter-fans, you will see a fraction of them being angry about KB scenes where these are perceived as not being as meaningful as SF’s. Some are critical with Jojo/screenwriting team, labelling them as “lazy” that KB had to improvise their scenes, stating the scenes are only saved purely from FK acting. Now, I disagree with the statement. That’s like spitting on the face of the whole production team/lighting/cinematographer/costume/props department etc when they worked just as tirelessly.

Or how, it was “robbery” because THK was not as intense/more dramatic as it could have been - inter-fans got upset especially following the recent interview by Jojo with a Brazillian podcaster/YT channel where he confirmed he altered the script to be lighter in tone for 2 reasons - 1) he didn’t want an intense drama after just filming OF 2) when they were about to shoot the pilot trailer, the mass shooting in the shopping mall at Bangkok just happened and the series almost got canned by GMMTV. I also think personally, he wanted to challenge himself because he mentioned (during the interview), Thai series usually don’t mix comedy with action/drama together (it��s either one or another) - one of the reason why Khaotung apparently find it difficult to find the right balance as Bison when he first started shooting THK.

That’s another thing about these inter-fans, I am bemused when these same inter-fans insisted THK was made for international audience and not Thai/local audiences. I put up a post recently where P’Aof made a pointed remark stating Thai directors/production houses make BL/GL with Thai audience in mind. International fans are just bonuses for them.

Sure, THK is probably more “accessible” to inter-fans because Jojo references a lot of famous/classic rom-com from the late 90s to early 2000s. But his target is first and foremost Thai audience and that’s why he tailored it to the current political climate in Thailand at that time (not to mention he likely won’t be able to produce the series otherwise) plus “gentle” introduction to non-vanilla sexual practices to the largely still conservative Thai audiences (yes, I’m talking about BDSM, where again I see inter-fans (and not Thai!) complaining there were only that 1-2 scenes in Ep 3. Since I already explained why I wasn’t surprised in a different asked, I’m not going to say it here).

And please do not compare THK BDSM to KinnPorsche. KinnPorsche is a different ball game together. That show was aired on IQIYI exclusively with the budget largely covered by one of the main actor who is super rich, while THK is still being aired on YT/GMM25 (their local channel that is targeted to be more family oriented).

@firstkanaphans and @doublel27 also answered a recent asked about the discordant on why audiences may be so hypercritical to Kant/Ray as opposed to actual “bad people” like our hitmen. I think it was a brilliant answer.

Regardless, It will be interesting to see how Dr Karn is going to be perceived by audiences (local and internationally). I get the feeling it will again be mixed results. But one thing I will say about FK - they have always challenged themselves with the roles they take. Plus tirelessly working on perfecting their craft. For that, I will always adore them.

[iwrite-sinsandtragedies]

#OCkissWeek2025 Day 1 — Desperate

They were right in front of each other now. So close that he could feel the warmth that the sun had soaked into her and he tried to not let the longing register on his face. Tried not to clench his hands into fists to hide the way they twitched.

She watched him, eyes searching as they looked into his. There was a question there but, he didn't dare try to figure out what it was asking. He didn't dare hope that she would ask.

That she would… That she...

“Dinner should be done any minute.” He repeated Baxter’s words, it felt strange to say.

Like the wrong thing to say.

But he suppressed the discomfort of the feeling and tried instead to fit a smile back on to his face. It also felt strange.

Something shifted in her gaze.

“We should–”

“Rain.”

“...”

Sadness.

That's what had changed.

The way she was looking at him now. He could see it. Sad – disappointed. She had.. She had wanted him to say something different. To do something different. God knows what (because he won't look to find out) but clearly there was something else that he was supposed to be doing here.

Something he wanted to do.

His mouth twisted before he could stop it.

He covered the expression with his hand and looked away, though not fast enough to not see the effect his response had generated.

Hurt.

Shit.

He sighed. Put a tense hand on his hip and tried his damnedest to collect his patience. He wasn't going to do this again. He wasn't going to be the one to cause Ai more pain. She's been through enough dammit. It wasn't her he was so mad at and he needed to make sure she could see that. It was – he was just mad at himself. At his weakness. Mad that he couldn't keep his own damned promises.

Mad that he didn't want to anymore.

Mad that he was given permission to break them.

The pause went on too long.

He heard the release of one shaky breath.

Ah fuck.

When Rain looked back to her, Ai's head was low, and it was only then that he realized how open her body language had been before, because now it was entirely closed off – hunched shoulders, crossed arms, curled in. Her lashes were low and, if he looked too closely, they almost looked damp. She hadn't been smiling before this, but now he realized that she also hadn't been wearing a frown either – because the one she was wearing right now felt like a sucker punch straight to his ribcage.

Hurt.

God, that wasn't the promise he wanted to break.

“... Okay.” is the next word she manages. Small (so damn small) and almost broken in his ears.

“Let's... Go have dinner.”

And then – she's turning away.

She–

He–

There's... an intake of breath.

He doesn't know why but, for one whole moment, that's all he is. Just one breath. Filling up his blind eyes and his empty head turning his chest hot and full and bright like he just dropped the sun down his throat.

Like he just started to live.

One breath.

Two breaths.

Hot breaths.

Her breath.

Her breath in his chest.

They're kissing.

Retroactively, he remembers the last 30 seconds like a distant but vivid film in the back of his head.

Watching her turn away, seeing a glimmer caught by the sunlight in her eye.

Reaching for her. Finding a hand that was digging crescents into her soft elbow.

Pulling it in. She twisted – tripped into his arms because he didn't mean to pull so hard but he did.

And her lips parted, gasped.

And he watched them.

And he pulled her in.

And they kissed.

They kissed. God, they are kissing. Rain is kissing her – just like he's been aching to, starving to – and she's not pushing away. She's not leaving. She's – she's kissing him back and forget everything else, he barely thinks. It doesn't matter. Because she's in his arms and Rain cradles her waist and her hands slip behind the back of his neck and he knows he makes a noise that sounds more broken than whole but it doesn't matter right now.

For just one moment. One more moment. Ai is his.

The sun is warm on their skin and the room is bright and pink and orange and Ai smells like roses and wet spring. Her lips taste sugarplum sweet and some crazy part of his brain is stupidly delighted to find out she still wears that lipgloss he got her for Christmas. That she kept that part of him, despite all the efforts he went to in getting her to let go. Her sugarplum lips. Amazing. Fantastic. He's so giddy about it, in fact, that he dips her in his attempts to lick the flavour clean away.

Screw dinner. He'll be satiated off this.

She makes a noise somewhere between a whimper and a squeak as he digs in, and it sends so many shivers down his spine that he doesn't immediately register the sound or sensation of her laughing. Laughing. It makes it hard to keep kissing, with the way her mouth keeps curving against his own aching smile. So, he pulls back, just enough to see it (and tries to control the primal ache in him at the way she clutches at his hair to keep him close).

She's crying. It's the first thing he sees and it sends a completely different kind of ache through the whole of his heart, but her smile makes up for every single tear stain on her face. The laughter peels out of her in breathy gasps, trying and failing to catch the breath she left inside his chest. Her cheeks are bright with colour, just like her lips and her eyes are glimmers of open ocean under crystal skies that he would gladly drown in. Let him just float away.

She was so beautiful. Always, but especially like this.

Gently, he dipped close to her again, brushing his forehead affectionately against her.

Touching her.

 It made his eyes soft.

 It made his cheeks hurt.

 It... It made his heart ache.

 He was…

 He.. 

God, even after all these years, he was still so in love with Ai.

A/N: So, this was a last minute switch up from the original piece I had for the first day. Originally, it was a piece about Rain's parents, but it was just not meeting my expectations (also it was insanely sad LOL) so I decided to go with a Rain-centric romance instead.

Rain and Ai grow up together in this specific story (OL players will know which) He's the older boy that lives up the street and sometimes plays babysitter, despite only being three years older than Ai and only a year older than Ai's sister, Elizabeth.

Years pass and eventually the two develop feelings for each other, but Rain is too conflicted by his role in Ai's life to fully commit to a relationship with her and ultimately pushes her away - breaking her heart in the process. It isn't until several years pass and the two are comfortable enough with their relationship again that the tension finally breaks and Rain finally gives in to is feelings again.

This moment is the result of that! Hope you all enjoyed!

[cantfightmoonlight]

“Humor is subjective, Dilan," He rolled his eyes over, not bothering to dignify her other two comments about the value of pixies and the state of the floor with a response.

It was only when she said that she thought he wanted to pretend it didn't happen that he lifted a brow. "Because you're the one who felt like you were rejected," He countered, moving to pinch the bridge of his nose as if to try to will the head ache he'd surely have later back. "I didn't think anything from that night because you were intoxicated. You were not coherent enough to consent to anything and so I drove you home. Why would I bring it up again? I didn't know how you felt about it. I didn't know if you even remembered it. You could have blacked out for all I know and, while it is nothing and I repeat nothing to be embarrassed of, believe it or not, I actually do give a fuck about you and wasn't about to put you on the spot or accidentally embarrass you."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now? I'm sorry my reaction wasn't to your liking? Next time, I'll make sure to rent out a squad of cheerleaders and have them on hand on the off chance a girl asks me if they can kiss me. You caught me off guard," He let out an exasperated sigh as he told her point blank. "I wasn't expecting you to ask me that so I acted momentarily surprised and then you ran off before I could even fully react just as you decided I was going to reject you before you even gave me a chance to process any of this. You're not some fucking chore, Dilan. You're not. I hate that you fucking feel that way, but I'm also not scripted in the screenplay that is your mind," He exclaimed, not bothering to his his frustration.

"Dilan," His voice lowered, softening into a deep murmur as he finally told her after a prolonged beat. "I was kidnapped for eight months. I chased after you and got jumped. I was chained to the floor of a cabin and tortured repeatedly every day to the point where pain has become comforting. I'm," His jaw tensed as he squeezed his eyes shut, taking a small step back from her as he shook his head as if to try to shove the memories clawing their way in back. "I'm not pursuing anyone right now. I literally do not have the mental bandwidth to and I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but me not making moves isn't because I don't want to or your some chore. It is because this is all I'm capable of giving right now."

"If you want more enthusiasm, you should probably look elsewhere," His gaze lowered to the ground as he moved to slip his hands into his pockets. "You deserve that. You deserve the world." She deserved to be with someone who made her happy and reacted the way she wanted them to. She deserved to be with someone who wouldn't constantly disappoint her like he already had time and time again. But, the world wasn't something he was capable of giving.

"Dilan, I think you're cute and sure I like you. Who wouldn't, but.. that right there, the I went further with a ghost than you? I can't do this right now. It's not a full stop. If it was, you'd be fine with me not saying anything in return, which I think we both know isn't the actual case here. You want me to tell you that I like you back, enthusiastically with a smile, and then what?" He asked her, despite having a feeling they both already knew the answer to that question. His voice dipped even lower than before as he admitted under his breath, "I'm not the same guy who you asked to kiss on your birthday two years ago and I know you say you know that, but I don't really think you do."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Really cause I thought jokes were suppose to be funny.” She shot back sarcastically as well. “Yes, but you never know how well the floor was cleaned or who was here before us. “Yep us pixies are valuable I guess.” Shrugging at his words before letting the subject drop. 

She hated when he called her Dilan, it always made her feel like she was in trouble with the principle rather than just using her name because he could. “I thought you wanted to pretend it didn’t happen, Song. So why would I bring it up?” She explained back with a soft voice. “Yeah I did, because you didn’t seem the least bit enthusiastic to be kissing me. I don’t want it to be some fucking chore you just do because you’re obligated or fear it’ll turn things awkward if you don’t.” Feeling frustrated at his words and she let out a sigh. “You honest to god don’t get why I feel so rejected do you?” Maybe it was a boy thing or her just reading into it all too much. “How could you not?” Letting her hands drop to her sides before she looked away from him and stared at the wall. “I don’t want to have to ask you Song. I want you to kiss me because you want too, but I’m the one making all the moves here.” She complained, it was frustrating for her that it felt like she had to do everything between them. “Yes, with a less than enthusiastic yes. Song I don’t want to just kiss you to kiss you and you treat it like a chore. I want you to want to kiss me back. I don’t think that’s asking too much here.” Sighing heavily, she finally brought her eyes back to his.

“Then how do you feel? Because right now I’m getting no signals and feel crazy.” She’d spent so much time trying to read into everything that she was tired. “You kissed the ghost back still. I was there. I’m just saying you made it further with a ghost than you ever have me.” She continued on for a long moment until he brushed off her hand, she pulled it to her chest. “No, god no. But—“ She tried to explain but stopped herself from going further. “Fine. I like you. Full stop there.” Shutting up after that and she looked up at him waiting for some kind of response from him. 

[transsexula]

Yall bare with me. I watched a new show with gays in it.

[spitedemon]

i really don’t think it’s “typical dragon age fandom nonsense” for people to be genuinely upset about the world state choices. combat, level design, art direction, gameplay gimmicks, those have all varied across each dragon age game. the one thing that’s remained constant are nods to our previous choices.

i wasn’t expecting my HoF to come riding in on a griffon, but i can’t find a monument dedicated to warden tabris somewhere around the anderfels? lucanis couldn’t have some lines about the time that one arainai boy was stirring up trouble in antiva city? you’re gonna tell me that making a mage the new divine wouldn’t have some impact on nevarra and antiva? on the anderfels, the supposed most devout militant andrastian nation in thedas? you’re saying nobody in the north is paying attention to who rules orlais or ferelden? come on.

[hanzajesthanza]

witcher netflix: [drops]

henry cavill fans: honestly, i don’t really care about the story, i’m just here because hcav is hot asf

me: wtf? how shallow is this… only there because the titular witcher is hot? talk about missing the point…

witcher 4 trailer: [drops]

✨ciri✨: 😡

me: … i understanded.

[r0semultiverse]

Hey Digital Extremes, why are you limiting our play style to only one romance? Thought this game was about player choice. Let us choose to have the gameplay option of polyamory! 💕

There should also be a platonic New Years night option too that involves no romance for those not comfortable with it!

[sonknuxadow]

it just hit me that the movie is coming out next month imgonna throw upppppppp

[butchvamp]

reading about the veilguard sales stats and tbh i don't know enough to compare numbers but i'm not surprised it fell short of expectations, it was in development hell for 10 years... i've kinda reached the point where i'm mostly just sad about it lol and i'm also kinda tired of discussing it because no matter what kind of criticism you have or how nicely you word it and no matter how many caveats you add about EA someone will be on your ass with excuses and trying to argue with some obscure piece of lore posted on a forum back in 2014 or some dev's tweet or a writer's AMA on reddit that i'm just supposed to know about somehow... like personally i'm looking at the game right in front of me that i paid for and i don't think i should have to do intensive behind the scenes research to be allowed to criticize it. at the end of the day i think veilguard as a whole, while fun and successful in some ways, still has really horrible dogshit writing that failed to resonate with fans and i don't think EA held a gun to their heads and forced them to make all of those writing decisions. the writers themselves have admitted to these choices! idk why we can't just say that 😭 of course i'm not trying to solely blame the writers (they are going to take the fall regardless, unfortunately) and the game had a hellish development cycle with many of the writers voicing displeasure with the way things turned out but it's actually both EA and bioware that are to blame for that. i'm sure it made the writing difficult and i sympathize but it also can't be an absolute excuse. can we just be honest. EA sucks but bioware is not an indie dev and they are guilty of many of the same practices. multiple things can be true at once and we can acknowledge both and criticize both.

[tenwhiteandalusians]

and then no one said anything about the fact that if i watched ONE MORE episode tenax pulls a "i'm not angry i'm just disappointed i'm hurt" about scorpus signing with the white faction.