#not calling anyone out but myself

[zephyrdagonheart]

Am I the only person who is convinced everyone, or at least a good majority of people, in the Destiny community are either proud monsterfuckers or monsterfuckers in denial?

Because either everyone is simping for the humanoid bisexual queen of an alien empire descended from humans who escaped certain death who has lied to her people, and her own brother, on multiple occasions to the point where it took her brother literally dying and getting resurrected as a space zombie with magic powers for her to realize maybe she shouldn't lie so much...

OR, they're simping for the 9'4" empress of an empire of space rhinos that tried to subjugate us on multiple occasions and to this day we are reminded of the effects of their actions every time you look to the left and up in the Tower when one of them said "fuck it, we ball" and sieged our own city.

And to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.

[off-mozzarella]

(From the body swap AU)

Hii! I'm very happy to see that my body swap comic was so well received, so here's a little something as a thanks for all the support <3

I'm excited to keep sharing my drawings, I hope you like what I make!

[sergle]

Having a STUPID TIME trying to accomplish the very basic task of re-filling my prescription bc my bitch doctor is apparently completely off the grid

[black-and-yellow]

[humlors]

Narrowing down my type in video game romances to 'Big Gay Horny (double meaning)'

[vaguely-concerned]

from what I infer from some of his dialogue, my guess is that while lucanis hasn't had a proper relationship before he has had one night stands and short term flings. and -- listen, I know he's a dick and a menace and probably a hopeless case but please do still spare illario dellamorte a moment of your thoughts and pity for the role of incredulous yet intrepid wing man that he's all but certainly had to play on several occasions for that to happen. there are 100% people out there who were trying SO fucking hard to get no strings attached laid by this stupidly hot emotionally unavailable mysterious stranger who won't be in town for long without lucanis ever realizing it. people who would have remained tragically unlaid if illario weren't there to clue him in.

I'm just imagining Illario staring in pure dismay and disbelief at his dumbass of a cousin failing to pick up what someone isn't just putting down but scattering all over the floor like glittery confetti burning with a magnesium flame brightness to spell out 'SIR PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RAIL ME THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ENTHUSIASTIC INVITATION TO MY BED' and having to push him out the door after them like 'maker's breath sometimes i don't understand how you have the wits to grip the right end of a knife, lucanis, they were throwing themselves at you and you just stared at them in mild puzzlement until they gave up and went away go fucking GET THEM for the sake of my sanity if nothing else!!!'

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 204

Danny is on a bit of a roadtrip. An accidental roadtrip and might be getting chased by some sort of assassins or whatever they were. Look, it’s not his fault, he was injured and out of it! How was he supposed to know that the Pits or whatever the people were yelling about were important. Or sapient. 

Actually, he should like… “How do you even know how to drive if you’re like, thousands of years old??” That was not what he was going to ask his current roadtrip buddy, but maybe he had a concussion. 

Ectoplasm-green eyes turned towards him from the road, framed by a mixture of black and white hair that shifted like his own. “You most likely don’t want to know the answer to that, actually.” Okay, but what if he did, huh? 

“Okay, but where are we going, because I don’t think this is my dimension…”  

They shrugged, their clothing shifting with the motion. Ha, ninja clothing for a sapient pool of ecto, or whatever it had been. “I am, not exactly familiar to things that were not known to those thrown into my blood, so we’re, I believe the saying is going in blind?”

“Oh. Okay. Y’know you’re kind of nice for an ecto-death pit thing.”

“... I am going to pretend I didn’t hear that, child.”  

“Okay. I’m going to go to sleep because my head hurts.” 

[severinaprince]

Not to call out on main, but like be honest, how many of you (us) who stan Severus Snape have experienced some sort of Trauma™️ or even PTSD?

[hyperfocusthusly]

Season 8, episode 1 cold open

- Buck is just done in the shower, drying off his hair, towel on, in a bathroom we don’t recognise

- he comes out of the bathroom and into a bedroom, simply laid out, wooden furniture, maybe some exposed brick

- Tommy is sat on the edge of the (double) bed, comfy clothes, he’s fiddling with something (maybe a little pebble Buck found the last time they went on a hike)

- Buck goes over, cutest little forehead kiss and then goes to get some clothes out his overnight bag on the floor

- Tommy is still fiddling and Buck picks up on it, asks him if everything is alright

- “yeah, I actually cleared out a couple of drawers for you.” He gestures to the chest of drawers at the side of the room. “You’re here a lot, which I love, and I thought you could just leave some stuff here and you wouldn’t have to live out of a bag forever.”

- Buck has the biggest wettest eyes you’ve ever seen

- He also pounces. Knocks Tommy flat back onto the bed for a big smooch

- Tommy brings his arms up around Buck’s back and holds them together as the camera pans out to the left, going out through the open balcony door and onto the city skyline as the opening credits start

[letsplaythermalnuclearwar]

I recently saw the Community episode this meme is from and this is all I could think of

[seiwas]

for writing game, iwaizumi + assistance <3

hope this sparks some inspo and thank you in advancee

hi there!! thanks for sending in a prompt 🫶

contains: friends to lovers (ish), halloween parties, reader is dressed as catwoman, expletives, iwaizumi is thiiiiis 🤏 close to murdering seijoh4 (jk)

iwaizumi + assistance

this is a set-up.

iwaizumi knows he shouldn't have fucking believed anything the boys "promised" him back when they assigned him this costume.

the suit is fucking tight, spandex digging into his groins and all other crevices that definitely should be aired out after after a few hours. he's had to constantly readjust his stance almost every few minutes, the black fabric compressing his thighs and torso, significantly constricting the range of motion his shoulders and arms are typically used to. if anything else, it could double up as a back brace from how rigidly straight it's kept his posture all night.

he'll give it to makki though; he did outdo himself sourcing this year's costumes―this batman set looks pretty damn legit.

except for one tiny problem.

there's no fucking pee hole. it's a zip-up, zip-down one-piece situation. and that normally wouldn't be a problem, except that oikawa "accidentally" knocked over a cocktail straight into his pants, the sickeningly sweet liquid now seeping straight into the fabric and past his boxers―cold and sticky as it touches his skin.

and so, the problem: his pants are wet, it makes him want to fucking pee, and coincidentally, the only vacant bathroom is across the hall, at your apartment.

this is why he believes this is a set up. that, and the fact that you're dressed in an outfit strikingly similar―just with cat ears.

he's been asked five times in this party if you're in matching couple outfits.

it catches him off guard, flusters him because of how badly he wants to say yes. but, you're just friends, and he doesn't even think you like him that way (despite mattsun and oikawa practically begging him to confess. makki tells him he thinks you're going to do it first).

so he politely smiles and says no, but you look good, your costume clinging to you in all the right places. thank fucking god he has a cape because he's pretty sure he spent the first 30 minutes in the party hiding his boner.

"hajime, it's fine, i swear," you stand beside him in front of the conveniently locked bathroom in oikawa's apartment. from the other side of the door, he's pretty sure he hears mattsun and his girlfriend mumbling. maybe fucking? who knows. "you can just use the bathroom in my apartment."

he glances at you before closing his eyes, contemplating, before finally agreeing to you.

"okay."

if he's being honest with himself, friends is definitely an incomplete label to what you are. as oikawa's neighbor, you are conveniently around all the time; and oikawa being oikawa, the ever-social butterfly, he's somehow managed to carve a space for you in the friend group.

(never mind the fact that oikawa's sniffed him out from the moment he first introduced you.)

you were a crush, then a friend, and now you're someone he picks up from work and drives back home three times a week, because he "has to train oikawa." you don't question it, even when you both know he stays over for dinner way past the gym's open hours.

"you know where it is," you open your apartment and urge him in.

"sorry again," he turns to face you.

"yeah, yeah, just pee!" you laugh, shoving him towards the bathroom door.

getting out of the suit is manageable, and he's able to wipe off a bit of the cocktail that's leaked to the suit and his boxers just to make sure it isn't gross and sticky when he gets home later. peeing is a big relief once he gets it over with, but it's when he has to suit up again that things become difficult.

stretching out the spandex one body part at a time is a workout in itself―the hardest task being when he has to pull it over his shoulders, adjusting it to fit properly over his arms and chest.

but then the zipper breaks.

and he truly thinks makki has fucked him over.

iwaizumi contemplates what to do next for a good, good while. he tries calling oikawa, only to no success every time; no way in hell is he calling mattsun in the middle of having sex. and calling makki isn't even an option; he'd never hear the end of it.

then you knock on the door, your voice soft and concerned as you ask, "hajime? you good in there?" you hit it spot on, too, "do you need help with your suit?"

iwaizumi presses his palms to his eyes. he's a rational man, straightforward and logical in thinking. there is literally no other option for him right now but to ask help from you. again.

fuck.

.

it's 30 minutes later when oikawa barges in your door, and the sight that greets him is iwaizumi in nothing but a hoodie (the hoodie you borrowed some time ago) and his boxers, with his hands on your waist as you hover your hairdryer over the crotch of his batman costume―cat headpiece off and all.

"you finally got together?!"

[rgco413]

I'm absolutely obsessed with the way Crowley and Aziraphale IMMEDIATELY started doing their canon things as soon as I put them in the bookshop (the actions are random, but you can set them if you want)

Naturally Crowley also has his plant room (yellow couch in case a certain angel wants to come read)

Was playing this fairy village game and finally got similar-ish enough clothes to make the boys. Having an absolute blast now 🤭 (I did try to match the eyes as much as I could though)

It's not the Ritz but it's close enough I guess, Crowley with a drink and Aziraphale with his food 💙❤️📚🐍🫖🍷

[herlockslimbo]

gramaryeessss gramaryeeeessss

[asmo-cosmetics]

still funny to me that there were people legitimately surprised and upset to find out that richard siken is cool with incest shipping. as an oldhead wincestie i promise he has literally never hidden it. like he's known about us and has always been so nice to and appreciative of us. he has said that he's glad that we like his work and associate it with wincest because even though he's not a wincest shipper himself (iirc hasn't even watched spn? but has watched and loved bbc sherlock & is a johnlocker lol) he feels like we're the type of people who actually get his poetry. he has openly said he finds it weird/uncomfortable when people use his work with het pairings, but homoerotic incest passes the vibe check.

like, wow, acclaimed poets? have media literacy? shock and awe

[lesbianjackies]

butchfemme jackienat but jackie’s the butch. as it would be in canon

[serenhob]

I did it

Is it funny?........idk anymore but i made it anyway

Just to be clear I'm not going insane, its based off the vine that goes:

Chris is that weed!?

No it's a crayon

I'm calling the police

*types 911 into the microwave*

This is emergency services, how can we help you