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ironworked · 9 days ago

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Eddie's journey

Eddie is the 10 year old whose father told him he needed to be the man of the house. He's the teenager whose girlfriend got pregnant and who felt pressured to marry partly because of the Church. He's a Mexican-American man, and culturally/lapsed Catholic. He's the young man who enlisted to provide for his family, even though he never wanted to be like his father. He's the husband who thinks they could've done better, who feels guilt for his wife leaving. He's the man who proposed again but got asked for a divorce, and who feels he wasn't enough. He's the widower who didn't get to fix things with his wife, whom he still thinks of as 'the love of [his] life'. He's the man who thinks he needs to be in control, who doesn't want to appear weak, who 'doesn't panic'. He's the son who's recently been patching things up with his father. He's the father who's recently let his kid down and misses him terribly.

Non-exhaustive list of quotes pulled from the show, with links to videos when youtube allows (full 'playlist'), arranged by broad themes:

MASCULINITY

It's under control. Don't worry. S: Every time we talk about money, you tell me not to worry. Guess what, I worry. (2.15) / Bobby: I just wanna make sure you don't think you have to lose everything before you can allow yourself to feel anything. E: No, Christopher needs me to be in control. [...] I wasn't there when he was a baby. Stayed away too long, and it broke his mother. Shannon ran away, and I couldn't stop her. I couldn't bring her back home. (3.08) / S: We'll just sell the house and the cars and I'll go back to work. Maybe only part-time but - E: No, no. Christopher is the priority right now. You should stay home with him. [...] I'm trying to provide for this family. That's the reason I enlisted in the first place. S: I don't need a provider. I need a partner. (3.15) / I don't remember you being around much when I was his age. Ramón: I was working. E: So was I. / Frank: You're a man who spends all of his time managing other people's pain [...] but not a lot of time facing your own. Can't put all your feelings in a box, Eddie. You might think if you're strong enough that it'll hold. But at some point, that box is gonna blow open. E: And take me with it. F: You and anyone else around you. (5.13) / [R] spent his whole life driving across the state. Living everywhere but under his own roof with his own family. ... Oh, uh, why don't you tell them about the time you pulled your ten-year-old son aside and told him it was time to step up? Be the man of the house? [...] R: I was providing for the family. E: Providing? Providing what money? - Okay R: Exactly. I had to do what I had to do. E: A family needs more than money. (6.17)

RELIGION

Turns out, I'm a Manchurian Catholic. I've just got a reservoir of Catholic guilt just lying dormant, waiting to be activated [...] What, you think I should go to confession? You think a priest is going to make me feel better about all this? [...] Bobby: Lapsed Catholic, still a Catholic. [...] That was a lot of the reason why we got married. The Church. She got pregnant and I think we both felt pressured into it. But I never regretted it, and even when things got really bad, there was always a part of me that I loved being married to her. (7.05) / Bobby: Eddie, I was going through some things, and I found this [prayer book]. Made me think of you. Just hang onto it, It might come in handy.

SHANNON

He loves having you around.[...] We both do. [...] I want this. Want to have a nice day on the beach with my son and his mother. ... Bobby: Were you ready the first time? Eddie: No. I knew I loved her, but I didn't think I was ready to get married. [...] I guess the question is, can I be a good husband? ... I knew Christopher missed you, but I I don't think I realized just how much I did, too. [...] We could have done better, we could have tried, I want us to be a family again. (2.17) / I loved your mom and I miss her, probably always will. (3.04) / I'm angry at a dead person and at myself because I forgave her for everything, and and it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. (3.08) / I just want what I had when I met Shannon. It just happened. It was magic. Hen: Oh, so you believe in magic. E: I believe in chemistry. ... Bobby: Eddie, I know how hard this is. One thing you can't do is compare what you had with what you think you're gonna have. You just have to be open to whatever comes. (6.17)

(7.09 deleted scene)

CHRISTOPHER

E: Christopher. Is this Mom? Hey. Is that who you've been dreaming about? (3.04) / I wish I could forget. People go away. Not just Mom. Abuelita, Carla, my friends. They leave and then I miss them. I don't want to miss anyone else. (4.08) / Ravi: You must be Eddie's wife? C: Not yet. (5.02) / They just end up leaving anyway. Buck: Uh, why would you say that? C: My mom did. B: Uh, Chris, your mom died. C: Before that. She left us. We loved her, and she left anyway. I can't remember her voice anymore. (7.01)

(5.03) (6.18)

Dad, do you think she can hear us when we talk to her? E: Absolutely. That's why we come here. C: I wish I could hear her talk back. E: Me, too, bud. Me, too. ...

I'm sorry. I was thinking maybe we could watch it together in El Paso next weekend. I know. Yeah, I know. I know, it's last-minute, but I miss you guys, and I know Christopher does, too. Exactly. Why wait? Well, there's no better time than now. (6.15) / Chris, he's excited to see everyone, he misses them. (5.17)

I tried to talk about it with him and he ignored me the whole drive back. R: That part, that part sounds like us. The old Díaz family cold shoulder. Your Abuela originated it, but as I recall, you perfected it. [...] You had to grow up a lot faster than you should have. But that doesn't mean you can keep Christopher a kid forever. (6.04)

It just pisses me off. I mean, here's a kid who actually wants his dad in his life, and he doesn't even bother to show up? I miss him so much, Cap. I'm trying to respect his wishes, but we zoom a couple times a week, barely says a word to me. ... Sometimes a son just needs his father. Hell, a father needs his son. I speak from experience. ... But you're missing out on watching him grow up, on who he's becoming. ... I'm a dad who doesn't live under the same roof as his son. And it's my fault. And I hate it. (8.04) / Christopher doesn't want anything to do with Halloween, turns out. [...] Not like I was gonna be able to do it with him anyway. I just wish I knew last year was his last. (8.05)

That's the path behind him, so I don't think it's outrageous to expect that his future storyline(s) at least in short and mid term will involve unpacking at least some of that as well as whatever moves/decisions made to actively heal his relationship with Christopher and get him back.

Also, this is why Christopher felt the need for some space; it's not out of nowhere, and he isn't throwing a tantrum.

Some interesting posts: Eddie Díaz's tragic timeline; 2.17 vs 8.05 comparison gifset; about Ryan Guzmán's references in interviews (x, x, x); about Eddie's background/potential SLs based on it (x, x).

#Eddie Diaz #Eddie Díaz #<- for the proper spelling #Christopher Diaz #911 abc #Tv: 911 #no but really #I have no problem whatsoever with fans being hopeful for their ships or having their own readings about a character's sexuality #and even wanting the show to choose that route!#but I do think that dismissing all the steps in his journey and all traits and issues as unimportant unless they relate to sexuality #does a massive disservice to the character and also forgets about everyone who sees themselves represented #from fellow fans to the actor himself (from what we can gather through interviews)#like... if you think the show could/would add Eddie discovering his queerness as he also unpacks all of this you do you!#but seeing all of it -all he's gone through- and assuming it MUST be about imminent Gay!Eddie or it's all for nothing...#then I don't know what to tell you because we're simply not watching the same show (or possibly not even living in the same reality)#long post #anyway hope this makes some sense outside of my head

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sopphiex · 7 months ago

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The chances of this being accurate are low, but never zero, so here's my take on how the relationship between Eddie and Marisol could go:

7x05: Eddie and Marisol starting over because they don't know anything about eachother, their relationship based only on sexual interactions (which still baffles me bc what is this version of Eddie???? It's like he was unable to focus on anything else beside how pent up he was because he wasn't getting any????) and don't even get me started on her moving in and out in the span of a few days without involving Chris in any capacity. They could've showed them being unable to share stuff about their personal lives without this whole living together fiasco. What were the writers thinking coming up with this storyline? Truly the most bizarre thing to happen in season 7, next to Marisol being a nun (although if it was a plot device to kick start Eddie's journey with catholic guilt I will allow it).

7x06: I honestly don't think we will see Marisol at all. First of all, the actress hasn't posted anything from set from this time (and we all know she wouldn't pass up the opportunity to show her wedding outfit or another selfie from the trailer with her being the attention seeker that she is). Second of all, there's probably not enough screen time and she's not that important of a character to be included in this whole storyline. Eddie might mention her in passing like he did in 7x04 but I think that's it.

7x07: Now here's when things might get interesting. I want to see them break up, I really do, not only because the actress is shitty but she's basically a nobody this far into the series and I don't see how they could suddenly make us care for her. Tim saying how he didn't know what to do with her tells me enough that she's not sticking around and he's just trying to fix the mess KR left. Let's not forget Tim saying that at least one relationship (bucktommy or eddisol) will have complications. I'll bet my money the couple in question will be Eddie and Marisol. The episode being titled "Ghost of a Second Chance" (which literally means sth has a little chance of succeeding) makes me think we will see Eddie trying to get to know Marisol (but i'm begging, no more sex scenes between them, once is enough, don't do this to us again) and him coming to realization how little he truly likes about her. I would like to see him go "wait, I actually don't want to do this with her, she's not someone who i want to be with". I think it's too soon for him to see how uncomfortable relationships with women make him and why he always feels like "he has to perform" but it would be a pleasant surprise if they did actually dive into it already. I don't know what exactly could trigger him to break up with Marisol (and I think it will be Eddie who puts an end into this relationship based on the ending of the last episode) but it would be nice if we got some kind of parallel to his breakup with Ana and the "I thought it would work". Since Ryan said in one of his interviews that Eddie has enough on his plate this season, I don't think he will have any kind of feelings realization regarding Buck in 7x07, but if this storyline further explores his repression then count me in, I'm getting my snacks and my drinks and I'm seated.

(just watch this being completly wrong when E*y Gan*m posts another selfie in her 911 trailer in a few days)

#911 abc #911 season 7 #911 on abc #eddie diaz #911 marisol #911 show #buddie

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cosmic-walkers · 4 months ago

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I really love how you focus solely on the queer subtext between the characters, and how you're able to make a lot of out of what little we get between Thomas and his interaction with certain men in Wolf Hall. I didn't realize just how much he and Stephen interacted before you started posting it, even though I read the entire series. I enjoy seeing how you're able to tie that together.

I like your take on Stephen and religious guilt. In the book at least he didn't want to be a priest, but it makes sense he's covet Catholicism because he was forced into it and it's all he knows. And now here comes Thomas poking holes in his safety net lol. And now he's wondering if he should've been in the religion to begin with.

YESSS to everything you've said omg.

Honestly, my favorite things to do - especially in period-centric literature and pieces - is to seek out queer themes in the context of times, religion, etc. Obviously, you know me I'm mostly writing Henry and Thomas, but there is also something so realistic about the way the relationship between Stephen and Thomas is portrayed at the beginning that really gives me subtle hints of the possibility of a relationship, love, etc. The way Thomas acts around Stephen is a way he only acts around people he is comfortable with; he doesn't erect any walls. He teases Stephen, tries to annoy him, tests his limits, etc. And as angry as Stephen gets, you can tell there is a part of him that enjoys their banter. Like around Henry and the other Lords and Nobles, Thomas does keep up a certain persona. He is kept to himself, respectful, of course he goads them and doesn't back down, but there is certainly a level of respect.

With Stephen, it goes out of the window. He doesn't actually address him in the way he's supposed to (he isn't just a random priest, he is the Bishop of Winchester T-T), he calls him by his first or last name, and he is just so casual around him. he jokes around him, etc. at first you can chalk it up to the fact that he doesn't think he owes Stephen respect but then, the way he interacts and lets loose around him, he does see Stephen as friend or at the very least an aquaitnece.

And then Stephen indulges; he lets Thomas be around him, he lets Thomas talk to him and address him in rather casual ways. One of my favorite parts was the scene in the book where he was organizing Stephen's stuff for him and made a comment about his parent's love letters; stephen being a bastard is trait of shame for him, but he was actually calm and friendly with Thomas despite that joke.

I think there was a mutual truce between the two *until* Stephen was sent away to France. Anything that could have come between them or any development was essentially ruined.

But before that (and you know even after wrt to our fix-it aus), there is certainly something there. When I write or think about these two and the fact that Stephen falls in love with Thomas, there is a lot of Catholic guilt because first of all, he is a Bishop and Thomas is what he deems to be THEE heretic, but then at the other end there is the sense of duty. As a bastard, Stephen was more or less pushed into this life where he had to sacrifice the life he could have possibly wanted in order to appease all sides. This position later on granted him power but as we read earlier in the book--he isn't happy to begin with. I think falling in love with Thomas Thee Heratic probably makes things difficult because aside from Catholic guilt, it makes him question if this is the life he could've had if he had a choice. If he would've been happy, if he even wouldn't been a staunch Catholic, and if things were different would he have been with Thomas and been happy? BASICALLY, everything you just said.

I think Thomas scares Stephen (when looking through a QUEER subtext) because he threatens everything Stephen knows about himself, and everything he was forced to believe.

That's what makes them good---

#and again #thomas just vibes #wolf hall #stephen gardiner #thomas cromwell #hilary mantel #tudor history #i love these two so much

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wkilofficial · 2 years ago

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@wkilofficial I know *nothing* about the mechanisms or In The Green but I love a good analysis/comparison of music and especially when there’s concept albums involved!! Your tags were very informative but please can you tell us more about the Mechanisms and In the Green Vs MCR and Danger Days

YEAHHHHHHH okay okay okay let's fucking do thisss

the mechanisms feature less in this Analysis post bc they're just. band that makes me go batshit insane. but to explain what they are briefly!! they were a. steampunk cabaret?? that's probably the genre. band that ran for about ten years that made story albums that were like. reduxes of famous mythologies and folk tales, often re-scoring and rewriting prior folk songs to do so. their main four albums are, in turn, a grimm's fairytales sci-fi epic, a sort of jazzy steampunk retelling of the odyssey, a western redux of arthurian legend, and a rock opera style album of norse mythology leading up to ragnarok. and i Love folk songs and modern interpretations and the genders of the band are truly so soothing to experience (loki being a she/her character played by a he/him gnc man being in a lesbian relationship with sigyn, a she/her character played by a they/them fat person of color, is still so important to me). and i can't rlly sum them up in one post?? but i recommend their music to any literature nerds shjshjs

BUT ANYWAY ONTO WHAT I'M HERE FOR

in the green, in a brief summary, is an experimental musical about hildegard von bingen that deals a Lot with trauma and abuse and recovery as it relates to a religious and misogynistic society (12th century catholic europe!). and its cast is five people playing two characters: hildegard's Eye, Hand, and Mouth, representing how trauma at a young age fractured her and made her feel broken and disconnected from herself (her aspects can fight and bicker and have wills of their own and never really sing in harmony), and jutta's Main Persona and her Shadow, the representation of her abuse and trauma that she's kept buried far underground. the music of the show is really stripped back? it's drums, electric bass, cello, dulcimer, and a looper pedal that allows jutta to layer her voice and harmonize with herself in Really Neat Ways. BUT AS IT RELATES TO MCR. it's kind of a couple different ways?

thematically, itg shares a Lot of ideas about perpetuating the cycles of abuse and also does a lot with Catholicism? i made a web-weaving post about this awhile back (linked here) but it's like. jutta gets to be free of the consequences of her abuse of hildegard because she dies. she gets to cling to that virtue while hildegard has to shoulder the burden of her teachings of "repress and work and the trauma will go away". so i think a lot about "from the razor to the rosary" and "i'm taking back the life you stole" and just like. catholicism themes and living your life in spite of what you've faced?? idk it's hildegard experiencing this life changing event at such a young age and then being taught In Isolation that the best way to deal with it is to ignore it because acknowledging it will destroy her. and then discovering that she Can acknowledge it and that's the best way to recover but the woman who taught her the opposite Dies before she can share what she's learned. jutta gets to die before the cycle of abuse she perpetuated can catch her. she dies just when she learns how she could've fixed herself. he (jutta) gets to die a saint but she (hildegard) will always be the whore y'know?

and then the OTHER similarity is just. lyrics? i'm just straight up gonna post itg lyrics that sound like they could be mcr lyrics right here:

plucked from the harvest, before you start to rot / thrust in the darkness, where everything is not / you were not born to live, you were born to be forgive / you were not born to live, you were born to be forgiven - death ceremony

isn't she lucky? she is the lucky one / she will be the seed that grows without the sun / hallelujah and amen, amen / hallelujah for the dead, amen / isn't she lucky? she is the lucky one / she will know of death before her life is done / hallelujah, amen, amen / hallelujah for the dead, amen - death ceremony

i will never go back / there's nothing out there for me / i'm here to find the truth, and the truth will set me free / because if i can teach you how to be whole / i will see the light / that is my goal / when i see the light, i will be free / when i see the light, i will erase my history / for good, and i will be made new / and i will be among the few / and i will be of virtue - the rule

[JUTTA] it isn't easy work. you have to get down in the dirt. [HILDEGARD] i can do that! [JUTTA] can you? [HILDEGARD] i will / i will work until I die, if I have to. [JUTTA] that's the right attitude. - the rule

i feel a bubbling in my blood / and if it boils will i drown in the flood? / i feel an overwhelming need / to put my own flesh between my teeth / i am hungry / on what can i feed? - i am hungry

i'm scared of what i feel / maybe it isn't real, but / i'm scared of who i am / a monster masquerading as a lamb - i am hungry

you have to learn how to hold your breath / you have to learn how to feel some death / this flesh is a thicket / so weed out all that's wicked / the feeling that you feel's an unwelcome guest - eve

keep the beast in a cage / on a leash / keep her locked in the cage / don't let her speak / she will scream in the cage / she will shout / let her die in the cage / don't let her out - eve

[HILDEGARD] but why dig a grave? i'm not dead! [JUTTA] are you sure that you're alive instead? [HILDEGARD] i don't know what you mean. [JUTTA] might you be somewhere in between? / outwardly living, but broken inside? / working and working while trying to hide / the feeling that you've done something wrong? / this is where you belong! / i understand what you're going through / no one out there wanted you. - little life

but when you sacrifice / give up giving in to want / you have nothing to lose if everything's gone / when life is darkness / death is dawn / life is better in death - little life

i’m not going back / i’ll run until i die / and when i can no longer run / i’ll teach myself to fly - in the green (sidenote. favorite lyric in the show, possibly ever)

my heart is a stone / my body is not my own / my heart is a stone / my body is not my own - in the green

you must be / just like me / i do not fit anywhere up there / i carry a memory / it makes me hideous / hazardous, insidious, but / underground i’m at ease - underground

you must be / just like me / tired of holding back all your widening cracks / if you carry a memory / it’s too much to bear / broke you beyond repair, then / underground in the dark / you don’t have to try anymore - underground

underground, you can be / a creature without a name / underground, you can stay with me / with your memory - underground

but you came to the underground / and walked right through your shadows / somehow in the underground / you took something obscure / made uncertainty secure / in the poison found the cure / a spark - light undercover (sidenote sidenote. this is just an ft willz poem line)

where, oh where has my mind gone? / are my feet on the ground or six feet down? / where, oh where has the time gone? / every day is a year / is a night and round and round - the ripening

haven't i done all the things I'm supposed to? / i know what i'm meant to be / and i'm grateful for the blessing / of this body that is rotting / all i've ever wanted is to be free - the ripening

wow that's. a lot of lyrics about guilt and catholicism and category 10 woman moments. ONTO THE DD SIMILARITIES

in the green and danger days are both about. people stuck in a hostile society doing what little they can to assert control over their lives?? in dd, batt city and the desert are literally deadly and the way to rebel against the scorching sun and the enforced Sameness and Separation is to be Bright and Loud and Love As Fiercely As Possible. it's basically a death wish, to refuse to conform in a world that sees vibrancy as a crime, but the killjoys refuse to be a part of that great machine that makes up their world. in the same way, jutta is a character given a horrible hand: arranged marriage (that she runs away from) and an assault that she can tell no one about. so her only way to assert control over her life is to say No to participating in the world at all. she forcibly shuts herself away from Everyone because that was the one thing she could Do Of Her Own Will. she finds power in isolating herself because it was a decision She Could Make. the world was not meant to be kind to her and so she took the only true choice available and refused it entirely. both of these courses of actions are direct contrast to the societies the stories are set in and both of these courses are deadly but also Freeing because They Made Their Choice. no one else made it for them. the killjoys rebel by being as loud as possible, forcing the world to look at them. jutta rebels by removing herself from the world as totally as possible, forcing the world to forget her until she forgot herself. she found freedom in the cell because it was a choice she got to make.

SORRY THAT WAS RLLY LONG BUT WAAAAUGH I LOVE THESE BANDS AND THIS MUSIC

#asks #ghost of zone 3 #anonymous #in the green #the mechanisms #in case you couldn't tell i'm a jutta kinnie 😔

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purplesurveys · 4 months ago

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1891

Are you between the ages of 30 & 40? Nope, I'll need a little less than four years more before getting to 30.

What was your favourite Saturday morning cartoon growing up? A Nickelodeon show called Little Bill aired very early in the morning on weekends, and I loved catching that show whenever I could. It was easy to follow in terms of learning English and I remember it being educational, so it quickly became a favorite. It's bittersweet now knowing it was created by Bill Cosby, but in any case and just to answer the q, I did like Little Bill.

What was your favourite toy as a child? I just liked anything with lots of buttons or with interactive features, so I played well with toy cash registers or play kitchens.

In High School, did you wear acid washed jeans? Didn't.

How much was a gallon of gasoline when you first started driving? I have no idea. We pay for gas here with a fixed amount (ex. I just ask the attendant to put in ₱500 worth of my gas and wait for the bars to show up haha), and I usually can't be bothered to do the math when it comes to how much it costs by the gallon lol.

What was your first car? The first and current car I've used is my Mitsubishi Mirage, but it's not mine. My dad paid for it and it's under his name.

Who taught you how to drive? My dad taught me the very basics and chaperoned me when I was learning to drive around the village; but in terms of learning how to drive on the highway, they enrolled me in driving school for a couple of sessions.

What was your high school mascot? It doesn't have one.

Did you go to your Senior Prom? We had a junior prom, and yes I went. I had no choice; it was required to go, lol. I'd have happily skipped if I could.

What did you do after graduation? Spent my birthday in a cruise; took driving lessons and got my license; saw friends here and there; processed my enrollment for college; hung out freely with my girlfriend at the time as we were finally out of Catholic school and didn't have to hide anymore.

What was your first job? Internship at my current workplace.

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be an author or a journalist.

Any posters on your bedroom walls growing up? I had them. Lots of wrestling posters up. Great times!

Do you remember the first time you drank a beer? Honestly, no. Not for beer. I do remember my first drink ever – it was a margarita at Kaira's birthday.

Did you ever try cigarettes? Several times, but I haven't had one since 2019/early 2020ish.

How did you spend your summers growing up? At home. Nothing eventful in the slightest. We weren't wealthy, and my dad had much longer contracts abroad at the time so we didn't get him a lot; so I was always just at home waiting for time to pass. I imagine it was a lot of watching cartoons/playing PS2 during the day, playing ouside during the afternoon, then dinner + watching more TV in the evening.

If you could change anything from your teenage years, would you? I would not change a thing. Whatever happened then led me to the life I have now, and I don't wanna put anything out of order. Seems exhausting trying to imagine different routes my life could've taken, lol.

Do you remember your first time? I do.

Ever look back and wish some things were still the same? In some aspects. Like wishing my college friend group could've stayed forever tight-knit.

After high school - straight to college or straight to work? College. Our culture places such a big priority on education and unless you're already mega rich that you can go through infinite shortcuts or are extremely lucky, it'd be hard to get anywhere without a college diploma.

How much did you make per hour at your first job? My internship was already paid, and if I remember correctly the pay was 7,000/month. Considering that was an internship and that was right in the middle of the pandemic and I wasn't going out and needing to buy stuff, that was BEYOND okay. I was just stoked to be earning my own money!

Favourite home-cooked meal growing up? Fried rice with eggs and (diced) hotdogs.

Favourite place to eat out growing up? North Park.

Did your parents live in a different country before you were born? No, they were born and raised here as well.

Do you have a preferred coffee brand? Not really. I can enjoy coffee anywhere.

Have you ever dated someone who was terrible with money? No.

If so, how did it affect the relationship?

How often do you paint your nails? Never.

Do you know anyone who’s related to a current or former world leader? Yeah, she's very closely related to our first female president so we see her with her famous relatives all the time on IG.

What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Singing, dancing, and drawing.

Did you watch this year’s Eurovision? I don't pay attention to that.

Have there been any periods in your life that could be described as being chaotic? Yes, a number.

What is something you frequently forget? Names. I'm great with faces, but just as awful with names.

If I looked in your fridge right now, what would I find? Oh it's pretty full at the moment...you have the basics like eggs, butter, cheese, milk; there's seasonings as well...there's a new batch of tiramisu that my mom had just made, there's TONS of leftovers. Idk that's the best I can remember but the shelves are pretty packed.

How do you feel about your body? I like it :)

Who is someone you would like to get to know better? Nobody.

What is something that turned out for the best recently? Ange resigning. I wasn't a fan of her from the start and I know some teammates felt the same, so it was honestly a relief when she shared her resignation...now my team can move forward the way they were always meant to.

If you had to move to a new city, where would you move? Da Nang.

Have you ever travelled on a double-decker train? Nope.

What’s your opinion on assisted suicide? It's a very complicated topic with a lot of nuances to it that would be impossible to cover in a single survey answer, but when all is said and done I'm okay with it and accept it as an option in extreme situations.

At what point do you consider a relationship to be ‘long-term?’ 5 years and above.

What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? My dad was a cook and worked his way up in the kitchen while I was growing up. I remember my mom the most as being a hotel receptionist.

Do they still have these jobs? Or different jobs? Or have they retired? They still work in the same industry but definitely not the same title as they have moved up several times since.

Do you own any winter sports equipment? I don't need them.

Do you have a cell contract plan, or are you on a pre-paid plan? Prepaid.

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bbyheedeungie · 3 years ago

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Tales of the ring | Orphan! Jay AU Part 1

Pairings: Jay x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, age gap (4 years)

Warnings: suggestive content, messy timeline

Synopsis: You've spent most of your lives together at a Catholic orphanage in a small town, with Jay being left there as an infant and you volunteering there since you were thirteen years old. Now twenty-three, every child in the orphanage looks up to you as their older sister. Well, except for that one stubborn kid named Jay.

You always tend to his cuts and bruises when he fell down after climbing on trees with his friends, but not after a long hour of bickering.

"Stop climbing trees if you're just gonna fall down!" You scold 9-year old Jay as you rummaged through the first aid kit.

"Just shut up and fix me up, woman." He demands, his arms crossed over his chest. You sigh.

"I'm just worried about you, okay? You could've broken a bone or something!" You reasoned with him. His eyes turns into slits, glaring at you.

"Are you calling me a wimp?" He challenges. Though it never crossed your mind, the thought of calling him a wimp was indeed amusing. You tried to suppress your laughter but it came out as a snort.

"Hey, I'm not a wimp. Drop it." Jay says, almost coming out as a whine. You nod, trying to calm yourself down from wanting to laugh. Cause you know Jay's going to end you if he even hears anything close to a giggle come out from your lips.

"Still as wimpy as ever, huh?" You teased him as you disinfected his wounded knees. He was sitting on the couch with you kneeled infront of him, and 16 year old Jay just can't seem to take his eyes off you.

Your lower lip is caught in between your teeth as you concentrated on his cuts, and Jay licks his own lips unconsciously.

At 20 years old, you have grown to be quite a lady, Jay notes. Beautiful, luscious hair that complimented the perfect features of your face, your body slightly plump in some places which gave you that womanly figure, dainty and gentle hands that cared for his wounds, any man would think of you as wife material. And Jay couldn't help but huff in annoyance at the thought of other men wanting you for themselves.

"And you're still as annoying as ever." He mutters before he pinched your cheeks hard, making you yelp in pain and involuntarily putting pressure on the cotton ball you were dipping onto his wound. Soon after, you were both crying from pain.

"How could you." He said in betrayal, clutching his wounded knee.

You always chased after him around the orphanage when he had a fever to make him take his medicine when he refused to drink them, dragging him by the back of his shirt to his room to make him rest.

"You can't just pull a stunt like that when I'm fixing up your cuts you dummy." You glared at him, massaging your reddened cheek.

"I don't want to stay in bed, woman. I wanna play outside!" 11-year old Jay huffs in annoyance, kicking off the blanket you've just placed on his body. You sighed and placed it back on him.

"Bold of you to call me a woman after I've just wrestled you at the lobby earlier." 15-year old you chuckled, remembering what you had to go through to make him go back to his room.

"Don't remind me, you were like a freaking hippo back there! Geez." Jay scrunches his nose and turns his back to you.

"You insufferable woman." He mutters as you tuck him into his bed. 18-year old Jay was just as irritable as ever, but only when it came to you.

"Yeah yeah." You rolled your eyes at him dismissively as you placed a cold compress to his forehead. He's such a big baby.

"Stop being a jerk for once and learn to take care of yourself, will you?" You scold him, leaning in to fix the position of his pillow. Jay's heartbeat goes nuts, with your body so close above him. He could just grab you by the waist then and there and hold you tight. Your feminine scent was so alluring, filling up his senses, your skin translucent in the moonlight shining through the windows and he even caught a glimpse of your cleavage through your thin, white dress shirt.

Shit, shit, shit. He thinks, fisting his blanket tightly. His cheeks glowed crimson red, but thankfully you thought it was just because of the fever.

Rest assured, Jay wasn't all that bad as others make him out to be, and you strongly believe this. You remember that one night, it was your fourteenth birthday but you didn't bother telling anyone. You didn't want to burden the sisters, and your family didn't care much about it either. But Jay did. He cared, and he remembered.

You sat on the roof, your secret hiding place, as you admired the starry sky. But it's not really a secret when Jay knows about it. The ten year old boy climbed up, grunting as he struggled keeping his balance. You flinched at the sound and panicked, but it immediately died down when you saw it was just him. He quietly sat beside you.

Silence took over as you sighed in content, taking in the peaceful evening.

"Happy birthday." Jay said, almost a whisper. Your head turns to him and he immediately looks the other way, refusing to meet your eyes.

"Thank you, Jay." You said in gratitude, not bothering to hide your smile. He still refused to look your way as he held out his fist.

"What is it?" You asked in confusion, furrowing your eyebrows at his closed hand. He sighs, taking your hand in his as he placed something cold and hard on your palm.

"It's for you." He says. You gasped, taking in the shiny object encrusted with tiny jewels that glinted in the moonlight.

"Jay, where did you get this?" You ask him, bewildered.

"The sisters said they found that ring in my pocket when they found me outside the door of the orphanage the night that they took me in. It's my most precious possession. In fact, it's my only possession." He says, laughing lightly as he looked up at the sky.

"Must be an heirloom, maybe you came from a wealthy family! Jay, I can't accept this. This is important to you!" You exclaimed, holding the ring back to him.

You're important to me. He thinks.

"Maybe, but they've left me here haven't they?" He simply shrugs.

"But why give it to me?" You asked, holding the ring close to your chest. Jay rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue.

"Hey, no more questions. I gave it to you as a birthday gift, so you better treasure it. Good night." He says and prepares to climb down, leaving you dumbfounded.

At nineteen, Jay was the oldest at the orphanage. He never got adopted, and younger kids would pick on him because of it.

"You never got adopted because your a weirdo."

"They can probably sense that you're useless."

But Jay being Jay, he'd beat them up everytime just because their faces annoy him. And you'd be the one to ask for forgiveness for his sake everytime he got in trouble. You knew him well enough to know that although he'd never admit it out loud, seeing other kids like Jungwon and Sunoo get adopted while he gets left behind hurt him more than it should.

"I'm very sorry for Jay's actions, please don't send him away." You begged to the Mother Superior's feet, and Jay couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Not of you, but of himself for having you go through all this for him.

"Noona, please you don't have to do this." He tells you softly, for once as he tries pulling you up to your feet but you just won't budge.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I know you have grown quite close to Jay for the past ten years. But he is now of legal age he can't just keep hurting minors." The mother superior, which is the head of the orphanage states.

"Jay promises he won't do it again, please." You continue to plead, at this point you were so close at kissing the sister's feet if that'll make them forgive Jay.

"What, when did I promised—." He says and you signal him to shut up. The sisters sigh, and decide to just punish Jay by making him work at the farm for a month. You thank them over and over, tears welling in your eyes.

"Y/N, may I have a word with you. Jay, you may retire to your room." The mother superior instructs. Jay looks at you hesitantly, before leaving.

"Have a seat." She commands you, and you oblige.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about?" You asked.

"Listen, dear. You're now twenty-three years old, you are at your ripest age of getting married. Not only that, but you're also one of the most beautiful maidens of this town. You can't spend your life at this orphanage forever. Won't you consider settling down soon?" She suggests, and you felt a lump in your throat, your heart feeling unease.

"That's alright, Mother Superior. I'm only twenty-three, I still have a lot to figure out in my life. When a man does take interest in me, I'll decide then." You assure her, and stand up to leave.

The next days, you'd wake up early to prepare breakfast for the kids and for Jay before he heads off to the farm. Jay being the stubborn boy he is, refuses to sit down and have breakfast and so on most days, you'd chase after him to bring him his breakfast and lunch box. He'd purposely walk faster, ignoring your shouts. A smirk never leaving his face.

"Jay! Jay! Wait!" You yelled, chasing your breath as you continued to run after him. But your quick steps were no match for his long strides.

"Jay you freaking dimwit! Haaaaalt!" You yell at the top of your lungs with all your might, and he finally stops in his tracks, turning to look at you.

"Oh, you've been calling for me? Did you need something?" He asks, feigning ignorance that you've been shouting his name for a good fifteen minutes. You huff, stomping towards him angrily. His face smug the whole time.

Others would think you're ready to punch him in the face, but instead you would take his hand and place his boxed meal there. You sigh.

"Take care of yourself, okay? And finish everything I packed for you." You say. Jay simply rolls his eyes and waves a hand at you dismissively.

"Yeah yeah, just don't go missing me too much." He teases, suppressing a smile. You scoffed, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Damn right, I wont." You stuck your tongue at him before waving him goodbye, running back to the orphanage.

As you walked back, you notice a fancy carriage parked in front of the orphanage. Many people were gathered around, gossiping.

"The crown prince has selected candidates to be his wife."

"Now that the queen has passed away, the prince must choose his bride in order to ascend to the throne."

"Oh what a lucky girl she must be."

You slip through the crowd of people, successfully making your way inside.

"Oh here she is now." Mother Superior introduces you to the men in fancy clothing, and you stood their dumbfounded.

"She is a beauty indeed." The men agreed to themselves.

"What exactly is happening?" You whisper to the Mother Superior.

"They came here for you, my child. You have been selected by the prince to become a candidate of being his wife. I've already had your suitcases ready, they will take you to the palace now. And don't worry, I've already informed your parents and they are more than happy and wished you the best."

Everything was happening so fast, it's like everything's been decided for you. And amidst the chaos in your mind, you could only think of one person. Jay.

"What about Jay, I haven't said goodbye—" You pleaded to the old woman to let you see Jay one last time but the footmen has announced your departure to the palace. You choked on your tears as pain burned through your chest, clutching Jay's ring to your chest as you were brought further and further away from the place you called home all your life.

Jay plowed the soil over and over, sweat trickling down his neck and forehead. The sun is high and the heat is a pretty tough companion.

"Jay! Jay!" Jay's friend, Sunghoon called his name, sprinting towards him as if his life depended on it. Sunghoon was one of the orphan kids who got adopted recently, whose home was only a few blocks away from the orphanage. Jay halted his work, placing the tool beside him.

"Haven't seen you in a while, what brings you here?" He raises his eyebrow. Sunghoon holds onto his knees as he catches his breath, before uttering words that shattered Jay's heart into pieces.

"No, it can't be." He refuses to believe it, shaking his head aggressively as tears welled in his eyes. It felt as if he was pierced so deeply in the chest with a dagger, so agonizingly painful.

"It is true, they took Y/N to the palace to become the prince's bride. It's been the talk of the town all morning." Sunghoon is sad for his friend, knowing his feelings for her all along.

"No! Y/N wouldn't do that, she wouldn't leave just like that. No." Jay cried and ran his way back to the orphanage, leaving his belongings behind.

He enters the orphanage, screaming for your name.

"Noona? Noona! I'm here, I'm here now. Noona? Where are you?" He kept on calling for you, his voice breaking as tears blurred his vision. The sisters tried to calm him down but he shoved their hands away from him.

"No! It can't be, she couldn't have left. Please tell me she didn't leave, please." Jay crumbled as he called your name over and over in agony. He begged for everything to be just some sick joke, a prank you planned to get back at him for always being so mean to you.

"Y/N." He choked out before everything spiraled infront of him and went black.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #kpop imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smut #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen jay #enhypen jay park #enhypen jay fluff #enhypen jay angst #enhypen jay smut #enhypen jay au #enhypen jay imagine #park jeongseong

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hippiehusk · 3 years ago

Note

15 from the November OTP prompt list with Love Händel? Please?

Prompt: looking through an old photo album. It's Danny and Bobbi angst <3

Danny scratched his stomach and yawned, schlepping into the kitchen for a midnight drink of water. He could barely be considered awake - it was a miracle he hadn't fallen down the stairs on the way from bed. He grabbed a bowl, and stared down at his hands for a moment, not quite able to pinpoint what was wrong, before shaking himself awake a bit more, and getting a glass from the cabinet.

Filling the cup from the sink, Danny gulped down several helpings before noticing a lamp was on in the living room.

Danny approached, and sure enough, Bobbi was in the big armchair with a cup of coffee. A photo album was open on his lap. Bobbi didn't look up when he saw Danny's shadow appear beside him.

"Come to bed, Bobbi."

It wasn't the first time Danny or Sherman had caught Bobbi like this.

"I just can't believe it."

"I know, Bobs."

Bobbi stroked one of the pictures lightly. It was labelled with a date from the 70's, and was aged to match. The colors had begun to even out, all becoming tinged with a sort of yellow dullness. It was a shame; before it faded, this picture would've shown of Bobbi and his mother's matching jet-black hair, like pools of ink.

In the picture, Bobbi was smiling, as was his mother. He was a bit old to be considered a kid, but not quite a teen yet.

"I just can't believe she's gone."

"I know, Bobs."

"I did everything wrong."

"No, you didn't."

Bobbi shook his head, staring down at the photo.

"She meant well."

"No, she didn't."

For the first time, Bobbi looked up at Danny. He was glaring venomously.

"You never even met her."

"You've shown me that picture before, dude. And what you said was, 'She already knew I was wrong by then, and she was already disappointed.'"

"How could I have expected her to understand? She was a little Catholic lady, I should never even have come out to her in the first place. We could've fixed it..."

"Why are you torturing yourself right now?"

"Oh, pardon me. My fucking mother's dead, but it's been a whole business quarter, so I guess I should just be over it?"

"No, but you should be thinking clearly about it."

"What the hell is that -"

Danny sat on the arm of the chair. He put an arm around Bobbi.

"It's really easy to say, in retrospect, you could've fixed everything. But I feel like you're not remembering why you never tried in the first place."

"I was being a stubborn idiot."

"She was never going to change. And you know that. You got everything you were gonna get out of that situation." Danny pointed at the picture. "It's okay to love her, and miss her, and feel whatever else you want to, but don't trick yourself into thinking you could've done more, because you couldn't have. And for your sanity, I'm glad you didn't try."

Bobbi shrunk into Danny's body, still staring at the album with hollow eyes. Scenes long past played out before his eyes.

"Then why do I feel so empty?" Bobbi whispered.

"Because she was your mom, man. Like I said, it sucks - Just because someone's an unhealthy presence in your life doesn't mean you want them dead, necessarily. But she is, and it's final, and that's hard."

Bobbi nodded. He remembered decorating the Christmas tree with her as a child. He was the only one of his brothers who was interested in that sort of thing. At 7, it was sweet, hanging ornaments and tinsel, while the air conditioner rumbled loudly over Burl Ives on the radio, and the New Mexico sunset streamed through the window. But by 10, when he still showed a propensity for domesticity and housework, she grew suspicious. By 12, he was an effeminate fairy, and she let him know that. He wasn't allowed near the tree anymore. And it was a shame, because the way his mother did it left the tree looking horribly imbalanced.

"She knew I was gay before I even knew what gay was."

"Yeah?"

Bobbi nodded. He remembered being shoved out the door to play soccer in the street with the boys on summer days. Just because he was good didn't mean he liked it. The worst thing about being a gay kid was that boys were insufferable to him. Immature, dirty, annoying...If only he was born rich, he could be playing tennis with his girlfriends at some country club.

"Yeah." He turned the page in the album. From this point onward, there were no pictures of him and his mother near each other, and certainly not embracing. Hugs had stopped at age 9, though he recalled his mother wondering so many times if he'd still be a queer if she'd quit hugging him earlier.

"It's my fault, I was soft on you. You were the baby. I should've treated you equal to your brothers..." She looked up at him, eyes narrowed sharp as daggers. "But you don't have to lean into it like this!"

"I think you're right," Bobbi said, voice barely above a breath. "There was no fixing it, without her 'fixing' me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She's dead." There was a moment of hesitation, but Bobbi shut the album, not bothering to straighten the binder pages. "It's over now."

"Let's go to bed."

Bobbi nodded. He shut the lamp, and Danny followed behind him as he went to the dining room, and slipped the album into a box on top of the china cabinet, where he kept the things that made his heart hurt. He heart metal on metal and knew he'd plopped the album right onto his wedding band. Tiffany & Co., 3 millimeter, a modest 18k, 1992.

Danny's hand was around his shoulders again, and again he leaned into it, letting Danny lead him upstairs and into bed.

In the morning, Sherman would bump into a bowl on the edge of the counter, knocking it to the floor, and demand to know who was leaving dishes around the house in the middle of the night. Danny would take the broom from him and begin sweeping the shards, explaining through laughter, while Sherman rushed around, paranoid about being late to work, as if anyone would count one tardy against him after 25 years. And Bobbi would watch, thinking about how this was what he'd given up his family for.

He would wonder for the rest of his life if he'd made the right choice.

#love händel #love handel #angst #parent death tw #homophobia tw

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formerly-rosaline · 5 years ago

Text

About Haley

Full name: Haley Emmanuella Vasquez

Date and place of birth: August 17, 1987, Arroyo, Puerto Rico

Gender: Trans woman

Height: 6' even

Weight: 142 lbs

Baptismal and confirmational name: Francisco Onesimus Nonnatus Emmanuel García de Vasquez

Legal deadname: Immanuel Carlos García

Parents: Camila Paola Vasquez de García (née Rodriguez, born 1972), Luís Carlos García de Nakamura (born 1962)

Siblings: a twin, Diego Pierre García

Relationship status: Separated

First language: Spanish

Second language: English

Third language: Russian

Trying to learn: Taíno, an extinct language since the 1800s, to communicate better with her ancestors

Ethnicities: Taíno, Japanese, African American (predominantly West), colonizer, Japanese and Indian - she took a DNA test and despite being 100% that bitch she is also:

33% African - West (Benin, Nigeria, and Togo)

7% Spanish

25% Japanese

20% Indigenous Americas - Taíno

10% Indian

4% South African

1% Indigenous Americas - Yucatan Peninsula

Employment: former fuller service sex worker, current limited service sex worker (dancing and creating content predominantly), drug and arms deals - wants nothing more than to be a museum curator or coffee roaster, or both

Disorders: major depressive, gender dysphoria

Species: succubus, vampire

Religion: formerly devout Roman Catholic, currently Yoruban Lucumí/Santería

Favorite musical artists: Beyonce, Lizzo, Cardi, Daddy Yankee, Pitbull, Princess Nokia

Bio: Born the baby, always the baby.

Haley was born at precisely midnight on August 17th, giving her a different birthday than her twin. It was only the beginning of their differences. Their father was completely unknown to them for the majority of their lives, although they found him - and their siblings, including a Luís Junior - on Facebook. Needless to say, after years of him being a deadbeat, they didn't slide in his DMs or shoot him a FR. He had groomed their mother, after all. She was nearly a decade younger, and he left the second she got pregnant. He was an adult and knocked up a freshman, after all.

By age seven, their mother had saved enough to get them to the mainland. The loss of culture and culture shock was a huge problem for Haley, but Diego thrived. He got along great with his little white friends, throwing away their language and traditions to assimilate. It caused a large divide between the twins. Haley could never stand a colonizer. She told them white boys thank you, next -- til she met the right one.

Raised in Concord of Contra Costa County, California, Haley had a hard time fitting in. People always be touching her hair, insulting her mama's food. Despite being a woman, she'd shave her head just to keep them girls from touching it with their oily ass hands. It made her cry every time. Her mother would curl her hair before she shaved it off for her, and let her doll herself up and play dress up for a while. It helped her heal from the buzzcut.

Haley's mother always supported who she was and told her to live her truth. Diego couldn't stand it. It was just one more thing that made them different. They were identical twins; they were supposed to be exactly the same. To hell with it, though, Haley said - she was a good person and there were two things she'd never be confused for: a man, and a straight.

By age fifteen, Haley was working the streets. She was also falling in love with some dumb as shit, goofy ass, lanky white boy since she was fourteen. He stripped her of all her walls and insecurities and left her whole. Eventually, she became confident in her nose, and her jaggedy ass teeth, and even her afro. The second she got a bag she fixed her teeth though, so how confident was she really? He never considered himself gay just for being with her; he always considered her a woman. They kept their shit on the DL for a couple years because you know how it be. He'd be the school f*ggot, it really do be that way. But nearing their seventeenth birthday, something happened.

Her high school sweetheart never knew Haley was working the streets. He suspected something was up, especially when she was covered in bruises, or worse. He assumed it was familial abuse; the idea she was out there working was unfathomable, especially at her age. He wouldn't believe it when the police came and interviewed him. Insulted and incredulous, he walked out on the interview - and became a suspect, however briefly. Her mother and brother, too, were suspected.

Haley was trafficked on the 9th of August by a client, Vyacheslav Kirillovich Ivankov, she agreed to meet at his home after a few dates. Working the piers had been hell on earth, she'd thought, but that was before she was ripped away from everything she knew and sold into sex slavery. She was now under organized crime control in a child brothel in the Bronx. She quickly befriended a lot of the girls being imported to marry from Russia, learning their language rapidly. She lost many friends along the way. Unbeknownst to her, for a long while, Haley had contracted HIV in the brothel.

Once she had aged out of the child brothel, Haley stayed with the mob. She was too ashamed to return home, and she'd heard what had happened to her loved ones when she'd been taken - her captors had made her watch the news on her disappearance, the trials of her family and friends, how they were suspected - how they thought she left of her own accord. These news reels broke her. She never saw how much she was missed and loved, not for years.

During her captivity, Haley's ancestors reached out to her to tell her they'd been through it too and how to survive. It was from then on that Haley honored the loa and her ancestors through magic, not entirely disowning Christ but finding a way to encompass both Catholicism and Brujería into one. Catholicism was just magic in her head anyway. The sacrifices, though.....

The Russians who held her misgendered her constantly, and on purpose. They pawned her off to all the chasers in town. She quickly grew to hate Europeans more than she knew possible. She kept working their bar - a front for an adult brothel, also full of sex trafficking victims, but all Russian brides - as both a tender and a dancer. She did a hell of a job as both.

It was there that she attracted the attention of her husband. He will remain unnamed, as everything henceforth is far too incriminating. Haley put on a fucking SHOW. She brought her best game for hours on end, every single night. She constantly brought thousands into the house. She was not seeing a damn cent of it, either, which was why she had a side hustle. The bitch never slept. She danced for cheap at an adult store, and she hated every second of it. It wasn't like the bar - with her best friend Brendan, and the free shots, and the being treated like a woman because clients no longer knew her gender unless they clocked her. These clients at the store were all chasers, and she had to watch them masturbate and pretend to enjoy it, or even get off with them if they paid enough. She got paid well enough for it to keep it up, though.

Gentrification was on the verge of ruining her when she met him. All she wanted was to be someone's kept woman, on retainer, on a top floor somewhere in the Upper East Side. He fell for her, and she got more than she could've ever dreamed of. More than money. She got power, and fame, and surgeries, and sneakers, and sports cars, and love. Love. Something she thought she was fucking incapable of. Something taken from her.

He led the racketeering. In fact, it was him who ordered these countless abductions. On all accounts, he'd ruined her life, but he also gave her the best. It wasn't long before she found out he knew her high school sweetheart - by running into him at a party her fiancé was throwing. She still didn't have the heart to tell him everything that had happened, so she let him think she abandoned him. She let him think something was so wrong with him she fled clear across the country into the arms of another man. And she married that man in front of him and never told him otherwise. He still thought it to this day...

But on to the separation. Her husband's brothers weren't invited to the wedding, even though his cunt of a mother managed to make it. Haley never questioned it. She knew not to question him anyway - it was fatiguing, talking in circles. It was a good thing their mutual friend had taught her patience over a decade. Of course, she never told her husband how she knew his friend. He spilled it all drunk, unbeknownst to her, though. That was something that came up in the separation. The main flaws, though, that kept coming up were her depression and her cheating with her husband's younger brother. Haley's husband wasn't considerably older than her, only by a couple of years, but his brother was the same age. Age was irrelevant, though. A strange spark neither could define, a long conversation by the fire and far too much booze, and some seduction on both parts led them to begin an affair.

And so, we pick up where our protagonist left off - fleeing New York in a stolen lemon, for god knows where.

#about haley

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

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