#not all humans are durable

[taro-pdf]

Humans are Space Orcs… And They Can be a Bit Clumsy

“We captured a total of 117 non-combatant humans, Ser Xing,” panted the slight six legged creature that was Talia, struggling to keep up with their superior’s much longer strides. Talia had had a long day. Human eyes were much less sensitive than their own, and the human holding cells might as well have been supernovae to them. 

Their superior only grunted. Vakam was a different species from a different nebula and found most other species both confusing and annoying. It was tired of going against humans in a pointless battle for nothing. Humans already had solar systems and planets gifted to them, they certainly didn’t need the dead worlds of the solar system they were trying to take currently. The only thing Vakam liked about humans was their durability; it didn’t know exactly how durable they were, but it had seen them take many nasty falls and survive. 

Speaking of things Vakam didn’t know, Vakam unfortunately did not notice that one or two of the cells it walked by were empty, and it certainly didn’t know that three of the humans it worked so hard to gather were in the ship’s air ducts, smoldering in the non-human temperatures. But ignorance is bliss, and Vakam kept walking.

Vakan stopped walking when something fell through the ceiling to the floor in front of it. Plates of metal that used to be a vent and duct clattered resoundingly across the hallway. As the echos faded, it lowered its arms from a protective to offensive position. Behind it, Talia whimpered in pain, clutching the hearing organ in their thorax in an attempt to protect it from the soundwaves.

With much ado, groans, and curses, three humans attempted to untangle the few limbs they were in possession of. Vakam groaned. Despite their fall, they appeared to be mostly unharmed. If only their durability was proportional to their planning skills, they might have made it somewhere. Vakam scooped them up and unceremoniously plopped them back into cells, this time taking care to find all the primitive tools they were in possession of.

[pa-pa-plasma]

i believe Danny is ADHD enough to not realize he doesn't actually have super-durability but has just subconsciously learned to minimize damage as much as possible

[angelbitezzz]

The human body is a wreck

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[normal-girl-in-an-odd-world]

Sooo, according to the descriptions you provided, you would be a superhuman then. Modified to survive in hostile environments... what a fascinating news

I mean, I guess??

I'm only like, "a bit stronger than average" according to my P.E. and Karate teachers.

It's just that for some flippin' reason, I'm stronger than every single person on this stupid planet! DX

[gifti3]

Im in such an obey me mood today haha

other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)

im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves

So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out

And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/

Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho

[masquenoire]

Apart from upper body surgery, Roman didn't require much else to maintain such a masculine figure. When he was dropped as a baby, the resulting fall damaged the pituitary gland in his brain, causing his growth (and aggression levels) to go haywire the day he hit puberty. Before then he remained a very small child, one easily pushed around by his parents but remembering every strike, every insult and slap he suffered at their hands until he was old enough to fight back. It came as a nasty shock to Mr. and Mrs. Sionis when the child they resented for years as being slow, ugly and unfeminine seemingly transformed overnight into an uncontrollable monster hellbent on tormenting them at every opportunity.

[chilapis]

Actually, scratch that, I’m cutting the break short. Good evening, everyone. 💙

[nightfallsystem]

thouhg sometimes i wonder if my mother regrets not killing me when she tried to before ..?

[the-faultofdaedalus]

the thing with lily is that. if you look at her. she looks like a rogue. she looks like she's the fast, nimble, hit-'em-while-they're-looking-the-other-way type. yes, she's got muscles, but she's also still fairly lean just because she takes after kat body-type wise, and she's also short.

she looks so much like she should be a rogue and also acts like that too - she's really, really good at slight-of-hand tricks, both with and without using her powers, and she's litterally a gymnast so she's flexible and can do fun flips n shit

but the thing is

is that lily's the goddamn tank

[arolesbianism]

Was looking through some doodles from the past month and remembered this exists. Anyways dupe hcs upon yee

[marcusrobertobaq]

It got me thinking about dbh androids again, when they start getting older than normal and malfunctioning. I mean, I guess the average durability of a common android is around 2~4 yrs. If mf got money they gonna buy another one, if mf loves 'em android they gonna try fixing 'em when things go south, but what if u ain't either of these 2? Damn.

[commence-screaming]

waait au where the gang wasnt able to steal the box in time and garrett traded it for bain…..how wohld that play out…..

Ahhhh, you again. A repeat offender ♥️

What this cool anon is referring to are these emails, the coded ones involving a sketchy deal between the Kataru and Solomon Garrett (that guy you can’t kill in Breakin’ Feds 😔)

The Congressman they’re talking about is the Elephant, who gets thrown into jail off-screen. So these are the emails that lead the gang to steal that box from Garrett, but what if they fail? What if they can’t crack the code in time? As you probably know, the PAYDAY timeline runs along line the release dates.

Bain was going to be traded soon after the Elephant was put into prison, and we see him here in Henry’s Rock just a few days later.

(NEW THEORY the room we see is a temporary holding room for Bain because the Kataru were going to trade him, and being on an island off the coast of Oregon? Not the best place to trade someone)

(Bro is in the Dentist’s office, worst place to be tbh)

Remember that this is in April, which is a full 6 months before Bain would be rescued within canon.

I think that Bain would have his clothes taken and exchanged. He’d be strapped to a hospital bed to recover a bit and have psychologists come in to evaluate his mental state. Garrett is the type to do things for the greater good, so what if he wanted Bain to actually stand trial? I’m sure that Bain couldn’t do that so soon because it looks like someone shattered glass over Bain’s knees…

I also think that the crew would have an easier time rescuing him than they did in canon. There’s also a real possibility that the news would get ahold of Bain’s mugshot if he recovered enough to have one, so this is a timed thing. If Bain is stabilized enough to get out of the hospital and sent for processing then it’s gonna be bad, bad enough to where Hoxton would sympathize with Bain on having his face on every channel and screen.

If Bain would have recovered enough within a few days then he’d be put into an interrogation room and yelled at. No way that would be enough for him to crack, though. Even while handcuffed to a table, Bain is still intimidating; especially to people who know nothing about him. Garrett would stick around to make sure the police aren’t doing anything illegal like beating him… although he might conveniently “take a break” if he believes it’s for the best. I guess that shows that the Dentist and Garrett are similar despite being on opposite sides of the law.

When they break in, Bain wouldn’t be able to walk on his own; he’d sling an arm around a crew member and lean on them. Bain’s happy to meet his gang for the first time but he’s also in mission mode, no nonsense. Bain tells them that their situation is bad because the Kataru have all three coffers :) then they’d burn all the evidence and escape.

So almost directly afterwards they gotta do Henry’s Rock and Shacklethorne while Bain’s stitches heal (hooray, free medical from tax payerssss) so the Kataru don’t have a chance to split everything up or send a ton of mercenaries to that base.

Hope that answered it! Very good thought question, I love it to ramble about those types of things 😄

[erabundus]

it’s  a  bit  grim  to  think  about,  but  the  wanderer  actually  has  some  degree  of  knowledge  when  it  comes  to  performing  MAINTENANCE  on  himself.  learning  how  to  stitch  a  wound  or  stop  the  bleeding  are  rather  basic  skills  anyone  intending  to  live  a  life  on  the  road  would  do  well  to  pick  up  —  and  yes,  he  most  definitely  knows  how  to  do  both.  however,  the  extent  of  what  ren  is  actually  capable  of  goes  far  deeper.  mending  a  hole  in  his  internal  cooling  system  and  draining  excess  fluid?  (  or  to  put  it  more  simply,  patching  a  punctured  lung?  )  been  there,  done  that.  clicking  broken  bones  into  place?  they’re  built  impossibly,  inhumanly  dense;  every  (  rare  )  break  is  a  clean  one  —  he  only  needs  to  set  them  properly.

it  helps  that  his  body  comes  equipped  with  natural  regenerative  capabilities.  every  wound  wanderer  sustains  WILL  eventually  close  without  a  trace.  (  hence  why  he  has  no  visible  scars,  despite  lifetimes  of  battle  and  brutal  experimentation.  )  it  won’t  happen  IMMEDIATELY,  so  getting  injured  is  still  an  inconvenience  —  but  his  wounds  do  heal  at  an  accelerated  rate  compared  to  a  mortal.  provided  everything  is  in  its  rightful  place,  his  body  can  perfectly  stitch  itself  back  together  from  the  very  brink  of  death  in  a  matter  of  days.  minor  injuries  (  cuts,  scrapes  and  the  like  )  have  been  known  to  close  in  minutes.  it’s  probably  been  timed  before.  regeneration  speedrun.

in  essence,  this  means  he  CAN  perform  “repairs”  on  himself  despite  possessing  fairly  limited  medical  knowledge  —  if  only  because  his  body  is  so  obscenely  durable,  it  just  needs  its  pieces  to  be  in  the  right  place  and  it  can  do  the  rest  automatically.

on  a  related  (  though  disturbing  )  note,  what  little  information  ren  did  pick  up  had  to  come  from  somewhere.  i’ve  mentioned  before,  but  he  has  a  slight  phobia  of  SLEEPING  (  namely,  he  worries  a  time  will  come  when  he  won’t  be  able  to  wake  up  )  and  would  never  consent  to  being  knocked  out  if  he  had  a  say  in  the  matter.  which  means  he  was  likely  conscious  and  completely  aware  for  at  least  the  MAJORITY  of  the  horrific  experiments  dottore  put  him  through.  very  fun.  very  pleasant.  very  useful  for  figuring  out  how  his  mess  of  a  body  is  supposed  to  function,  though.

his  pain  tolerance  is  a  disaster.

[radiance1]

Danny wears sunglasses 24/7.

So much so that slowly it's been ingrained into everyone's minds that he's never taken them off. Like, they can't even remember a time where he hasn't worn sunglasses.

It's just like, his thing.

Why does he wear them? Well, because Danny's previous blue eyes changed to a startling, glowing green that he knows the GIW would eat up and use as a reason to force him into their custody.

Solution?

Sunglasses.

His parents? Oh yea they went all in when he they found out why he was wearing them (Reveal gone right au babyy). They made them extremely durable; they can film audio, take pictures, take videos, see through walls and even track down ecto-signatures for whenever he's tracking down a ghost in human form, see through walls and self-cleaning.

(The ectoplasm tracking system is for when they aren't close enough to set off his ghost sense.)

He honestly believes his parents watched a spy movie before they built him these, but it's not like he's going to complain about it. The only time he isn't wearing them is when he goes ghost, you know as a way to not link him to Fenton or whatever.

So, Danny meets John Constantine while the both of them were on the hunt for a ghost who was causing problems in the area. Danny manages to find them first, the ghost in question being an animal who was terrorizing a place because it didn't understand the fact it was dead yet and wanted to protect it's children.

John Constantine comes while Danny is pacifying it. He watches as Danny calms it down enough to get to the babies and sends it to the Ghost Zone after promising it to get them somewhere safe.

John Constantine also saw his eyes, because he pulled his sunglasses off to show them to the ghost as a silent sign to trust him. John Constantine of course asked what he was going to do with the babies, and Danny just sent them over to Sam.

After that he decided to keep an eye on Danny because of his eyes. Which were the eyes of a ghost, and he was genuinely thinking Danny was possessed before that went out the window. So he thinks Danny is a ghost pretending to be human and wasn't able to hide his eyes so he wore sunglasses.

Danny neither confirm nor deny that.

So Danny just kinda followed him around until Constatine eventually made him into a contact whenever he was dealing with ghosts that he could peacefully deal with instead of just forcefully banishing them to the Infinite Realms.

This, eventually, comes to light when Constantine goes "I know a guy." In front of the whole Justice League, bonus points if they somehow come to the conclusion that Danny is Constantine's secret child, sidekick or both.

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Giant! König Headcanons

Warnings: 18+, Creep! König, Perverted! König, König Owns a Cum Jar, Size Difference, Giant! König, Size Kink, Sadistic! König, Abuse of Power, Dub-Con, Cum Soaking, Attempts at Forced Impregnation, Implied Pregnancy, Voyeurism, Hostage Situation, Human Pet! Reader, Physical Violence, Human! Reader, Fem! Reader.

Giant! König captures you after he catches you sneaking around his castle, trying to loot something of value to take back to your impoverished village.

Giant! König immediately jumps at the opportunity to take you as his human pet, throwing you into a nearby jar and closing the lid, observing you like a spider beneath a glass.

Giant! König who, after deciding he wants to keep you long-term instead of turning your body into the sprinkles atop his ice cream, creates a more sustainable living space for you after discovering you’re not as durable as he thought (almost suffocating, dehydrating, and starving to death whilst being held in that damn jar).

Giant! König surprises you with a dollhouse of his own design: a door that locks from the outside, windows too small for you to crawl through, and walls made of a material too strong for your tiny utensils to burrow through.

Giant! König doesn’t take long to start using you for his own pleasure – almost like he has no other outlet; like he was just waiting for this opportunity to come.

Giant! König who, whenever he feels like punishing you, puts you in The Jar and stares you down whilst stroking his cock, gigantic even in comparison to other giants’. He grunts, berating you, telling you how he’d “Fill you with my cock if you weren’t so small – bet I could crush you with it if I wanted to.”

When he’s ready, he cums into the jar – all over you – thick and heavy, almost drowning you with just one spurt of his load.

He loves watching you struggle to keep your head above the viscous pool he’s trapped you in as you literally swim in his semen, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to “Get me out, please!”.

He’ll often leave you in there without clothes to try and teach you a lesson. Until it turns into another reason – to breed you – which you accidentally sparked in him when you told him to be careful! You’ll end up getting me pregnant!

Giant! König can’t get your words out of his head, the primal urges he’s suppressed for so long unearthed by your pleas for him to spare you, if only once.

Giant! König knows he’s way too big to fit inside you, so this –  cumming profusely into a jar he’s encased you in whilst giving you no means of refusing his attempts – is the next best thing.

Giant! König gets off on the sheer size difference between the two of you  – the fact that you’re entirely dependent on him for your survival. Makes him feel like the kind of giant he’s supposed to be; strong and well-seeded.

Giant! König lays awake at night and fantasises about having a family, a far-off dream until you came along. It’s all he can think about as the image of you, his tiny wife, swollen to an almost painful degree as you bear his children, floods his mind, makes his cock twitch – harden. He resists the urge to relieve himself of this burden, preferring to save every ounce of his seed for you rather than wasting even a drop of it.

Giant! König who, despite his…questionable treatment of you, does try to treat you well. He lets you eat as much as you want, both because he knows you come from a poor background and because he has to keep you healthy to bear his offspring — especially since he knows they’ll be quite big compared to you.

Giant! König enjoys questioning you about your life before him, how humans work, what they do all day, whether the stereotypes of them all being lustful, pride-driven,  creatures are true.

If you validate any part of this stereotype, he’ll use that as an excuse to sink you in even more of his cum, to subject you to the task of sitting on his cock (horizontally, might I add) while he commands you to get yourself off by humping the shaft.

Man’s had no outlet for basicall all his life – he’s feral.

Giant! König loves to watch you while you’re tucked up in your dollhouse, observing everything you do. Humans are a rarity in the Giant Lands, so to have one in his home is a mythic occurrence.

Giant! König loves showing you off; he thrives on the reaction he gets when his friends see you. You’re, as stated before, a rarity in their parts, often used as a delicacy rather than a pet since humans aren’t particularly sturdy compared to giants, so managing to keep one alive is something of a status symbol in itself; the mark of a truly capable mate (hence captive humans are often given as courting gifts between giants).

However, König is also highly protective of you – especially after he caught Horangi (another giant he’d been showing you off to) goading you – harassing you – stroking his cock, telling you to “Lick the tip. Never felt a human tongue before.”

Needless to say, König never invited him around again after that.

Giant! König is, obviously, good with his hands and technical know-how. Thus, if his method of soaking you in his semen doesn’t work when trying to knock you up, he’ll create some unlawful contraption to make it inevitable.

Despite his size, König has managed to make a tiny glass syringe that he’s packed with his cum, holding you down easily with one hand as he presses the tip to your entrance, pumping you full of his seed.

He struggles to contain how the scene – the feeling – of you trying desperately to fight him off, to stop him from filling you, makes him feel. You have to watch the bulge between his legs grow as the feeling of being filled past full overcome you.

Giant! König does this as many times as he likes until he knows his seed’s taken, when you start showing. Which, considering how big his offspring will be, is pretty early on.

He definitely makes maternity clothes for you – comfortable garments that show the swell of your stomach as the weeks crawl by into months.

Giant! König loves bathing you, too. Especially after he’s covered you in his cum.

There’s something so intimate and gentle about it – a scarcity in the Giant Lands. Having something so small and fragile in his hands, knowing that he can crush you in his grip at any moment, makes him feel…responsible. Trustworthy.

Giant! König will never let you go, btw. You can try to run as much as you want, but he’ll always catch up to you, his human pet.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

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[jroaryester]

so, i've fallen down the "humans are weird" rabbit hole, and i couldn't help but notice most of it is about how humans are just really durable, adorable, friendly, how we'd pack bond with anything, about how we have such a hive-mind and empathy and determination to survive when things get rough, how we could survive things most other aliens would die from, how we could eat stuff that would poison other aliens, how we inject ink into our skin and pierce it with pieces of metal and drink toxic substances for the sake of entertainment..

it's always human defences and endurance

but i never see people talking about human **aggression**

like, imagine a spaceship happens to have several humans on it even if most residents are alien species, and two of the humans get in a fight.

and i'm not just talking physical, i'm sayin' all kinds of fights.

imagine if two humans got in a serious screaming match and genuinely hurt a few of the alien species sensitive to loud sounds as they watch, flabbergasted at how the two are literally yelling in each-other's faces without breaking a sweat or getting tired from it, while one of the sound-sensitive aliens literally passed out because it was SO loud

or imagine them simply being in shock after interacting with humans for a long time and having this image in their head of humans being so friendly and able to get along with anything and anyone, including stabby, or any predatory, aggressive species we just so happen to find cute. that image getting completely shattered seeing two of the humans they're friends with showing clear anger and aggression in a display they could only describe as "terrifying" in the most visceral sense of the word

or two humans getting in an actual physical fight, and here's where the *several* humans on ship part comes into play,

so the two are duking it out in a violent display of pure hatred while other humans, amused and thoroughly entertained by the violence that would already have put any of the less durable aliens out of commission gather around the fighting pair and start ominously chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT"

prior, the aliens hadn't dared intervene or get any closer because either way they recognized it as a danger

meanwhile some humans JOIN IN for absolutely no reason and it becomes a full on riot

and the aliens just stare like ?????

confused at why they'd find it so endearing, at why they'd literally join for no reason at all, horrified by even just a punch to the gut because to some of the more vulnerable aliens that's their equivalent of literally getting an organ ripped out of them and somehow STILL fighting and then ripping out an organ out of the opponent themselves

and most of all, if humans are capable of befriending aggressive, large predatory beings and getting along with practically everything,

what from the fresh pits of hell triggered two *humans* to fight *each other* of all creatures?

(that is, assuming aliens don't have much knowledge of our history, wars, politics, etc of course.)