#not actually serious things or god forbid mean things

[jellynotbees]

I’m very impulsive and tend to not entirely think through things before I say them when I’m comfortable so I end up saying WILDLY unhinged things to my sister @kitkatgoesmeow very regularly

She has a quote list of wild and/or out of context things I’ve said that is over 330 entries long atp

[arkangelo-7]

I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.

Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.

But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.

It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.

When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.

And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.

But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[retiredteabag]

can we get a smau or written (whatever gives u the most creative output) about how the jjk characters would act if the reader was mad at them :3

Including: Gojo, Nanami, Choso, Sukuna, Toji, Yuuji, and Megumi

Synopsis: They've done something to upset you... how are they reacting?

my masterlist !!

Satoru

I am so sorry to say this, but I genuinely believe that Gojo is the type to find it cute. Even if you're genuine in your frustration. He takes it too far, thinking it's funny.

For a man with perfect vision and a deep understanding of his surroundings, he is SLOW on the uptake when it comes to people disliking him. Pretty sure it's actually canon that he thinks Utahime is just playfully bantering with him...

Anyway, if you're mad at him, don't be surprised when he coos at you, patting your head, poking your cheek, etc.

Have you ever had to discipline a dog that doesn’t understand that it is misbehaving so when you raise your voice they think it’s playtime? Yeah…. He’s like that.

I'm sure at some point it becomes a real fight between you and he tries to make more of an effort to be more serious.

Nanami

Patient.

Incredibly patient. In fact, he would rarely ever raise his voice. If you were upset with him, he would want to sit down and hash it out. He would want to know exactly what caused the dissatisfaction and how to prevent it in the future.

He might get a little upset if you didn't want to talk about it. He would not mind a confrontational significant other and would prefer for you to be honest.

Even if you are mad about something small, he will treat it like the most important thing in the world.

How precious lover is mad at him? He can’t allow that.

Choso

Poor guy. He would totally panic.

If you told him you were upset with him, he would do anything in his power to make it okay. God forbid you say anything over text. He would be pacing the house, bouncing his knees, biting his cheek.

One might think he’s gonna cry, but I actually don't think he would. If he did something that actually hurt you, he would, but likely in private unless he really can’t control himself.

He seems like a deep thinker, he probably considers exactly what he means before he says something so he would consider you too in these situations.

I think he would beat himself up over it, but not want you to feel guilty. he would listen intently when you told him what had made you mad and then apologize profusely.

He’s more than willing to atone for the rest of his life even if it’s just forgetting to take the trash out.

Sukuna

Doesn't care.

Actually though, if he's done something and it's upset you, you won't have to tell him, he already knows. And I find it very likely that he would probably find it annoying if you were mad at him.

"What am I supposed to do??"

The only time he would care is if there were tears involved. If you were upset to the point that it bled into sadness? Well, now he's running through every option to make things right.

He can deal with people being upset with him, he’s always been unorthodox. He’s harsh and unforgiving, you always nag him about it.

He still cares though, in his own way, if he found you welling up, he would quickly try to calculate how to ease those feelings away.

You would need to have a discussion about it at some point, how he only seems to care when things get really bad. I do think he would make some kind of effort.

Nevertheless, he’s gonna wave you off if you’re being a brat.

Toji

Listen, some might think that he would be cruel or not care but I think he would probably be one of the more mature guys.

If he's in a proper relationship with someone, he has devoted himself to them, he respects them, and while arguments weren't uncommon, he didn't want you to resent him.

You guys were honest with one another. If you did something he didn't like, he told you on the spot, and he expected the same from you.

He was too old to play around, he wanted things to go smoothly and he couldn't sleep at night knowing you hadn't forgiven him.

Typically, if he sensed you getting upset, he would pull you aside and try to work it out. Not as polite as Nanami, keep in mind. But eager to make things right all the same.

Yuuji

Distraught.

He would probably apologize without even knowing what caused your anger. In the event that there was a proper argument happening I think he would be mature and concise.

He is sort of one-track-minded so it might catch him off guard if you express frustration.

There’s probably an occasion when you’re mad at him and he doesn’t even notice. He would be so confused when you blow up at him.

Regardless of that, he would be a very active listener.

Would probably want to hold your hand while working it out. Even of you were both angry about something, he would never let it last long. He is definitely the "don't go to bed angry" type.

Megumi

Sort of a weird mix of Toji and Gojo, you might think he isn't taking you seriously when he's just very tame. He's hearing you, taking in the information, and filing it away.

He would apologize and you might say something along the lines of "Is that it?" thinking he was just trying to be done with it, when in reality, he just isn't the argumentative type. He saves that for Itadori and Gojo.

He’s not so prideful, he doesn’t mind apologizing and it’s always genuine. The things is, since he’s so willing, you might guess it’s not genuine which could start a whole new thing…

He would make some pretty intense eye contact in these situations.

[gracie-eilish]

Could you please do something where reader is like super introverted but comfortable around billie (cuz they're dating 😛) and one day reader is just yapping so much like ranting, but then she realizes she's talking a lot and gets embarrassed and starts to apologize a bunch but billie finds it absolutely adorable when she gets passionate about things since its not too often she does it?

an: thanks for the requestttt babyyyyy:) i hope u like itttt🧡🧡🧡

Heart Eyes😍

It wasn’t often that you talked this much.

Billie knew that.

She knew you were quiet, introverted—the kind of person who preferred listening over speaking, who felt more at home in the background rather than the spotlight. She never minded. If anything, she loved it, loved the way you opened up just enough for her, how you never felt the need to fill the silence when you were together.

But sometimes… sometimes when you two were alone, you got carried away.

Like right now.

You weren’t even sure what had started it. One moment, you and Billie were curled up on the couch, her fingers lazily tracing patterns against your thigh, the two of you basking in that warm, easy silence you always fell into. And then—you started talking.

It was something small at first. Maybe a comment about a show you had been watching, something that had been bothering you about a certain character.

“I just don’t get it,” you huffed, shifting against the cushions as Billie let out a small hum of acknowledgment. “Like—why would they build up this whole storyline just to throw it away? Do they not understand how character arcs work?”

Billie smirked, eyes flicking up from where her head rested against your shoulder. “Oh no,” she teased. “Here we go.”

You shot her a playful glare, but that only encouraged her grin.

“I’m serious, Billie!” You sat up a little straighter, suddenly feeling the need to gesture as you spoke. “They spent three seasons setting this up! And then what? They just—throw it away like it’s nothing?” You scoffed, hands flying in frustration. “What was even the point? It’s lazy writing, that’s what it is. They had so much potential, and they ruined it!”

Billie watched you with an amused glint in her eyes, her lips twitching like she was holding back a smile.

“I mean, tell me I’m wrong,” you pressed, turning to her expectantly. “You know it was bad. Like, objectively bad.”

Billie finally let out a soft laugh, shaking her head. “Oh, babe, I’m not about to argue with you. You’re on a roll right now.”

That only fueled you more.

“Exactly! And it’s not even just this show—writers always do this! It’s like they don’t trust the audience to appreciate a slow-burn arc anymore.” You sighed dramatically, running a hand through your hair. “Like, God forbid they actually develop their characters instead of just rushing to wrap things up in the most unsatisfying way possible.”

Billie let out another hum, her fingers absentmindedly tracing circles against your knee. “Mm, sounds like someone should just write their own show.”

You paused, considering. “Honestly? I could do a better job than half these people.”

Billie snorted. “No doubt.”

“I’m serious!” You shifted to face her more fully, your expression animated. “If I ever wrote a show, I’d actually respect my characters. I wouldn’t just throw out their development for shock value.”

Billie’s grin widened. “Oh, I believe you, baby.”

You went on, too caught up in your thoughts to notice the way she was looking at you.

“And another thing,” you continued, “it’s like they don’t even watch their own show. How do you write for characters you clearly don’t understand? How do you spend years creating something just to betray the entire foundation of what made it good?”

Billie bit her lip, watching as your hands gestured wildly, your eyes practically glowing with passion.

You barely stopped to breathe, completely wrapped up in your rant. “And don’t even get me started on how they completely sidelined the best character. Like, hello? They deserved way more screentime—”

Then, suddenly, mid-sentence—

You froze.

Your face went hot, your stomach flipping as you realized just how much you had been saying.

“Oh my god,” you breathed, your hands immediately retreating to your lap. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

You turned to Billie, half-expecting her to look overwhelmed, or maybe even a little annoyed.

Instead—

She was staring at you.

Like, full-on staring.

Her blue eyes were impossibly soft, lips slightly parted, and if you weren’t mistaken—her cheeks were a little pink.

She looked completely entranced.

“Billie?” You blinked, suddenly very aware of how quiet the room had gotten. You shifted under her gaze, ducking your head as embarrassment settled in your chest. “I was totally rambling, I—I didn’t even let you say anything. I’ll stop now.”

But then Billie melted.

Like, literally melted.

She let out the softest little sigh, her entire body going warm against you as she reached forward, cupping your face with both hands. Her thumbs brushed over your cheeks, her expression so stupidly in love that you felt even more flustered.

“Are you kidding?” she whispered, her voice dipping into something soft, something almost dazed.

You swallowed, blinking rapidly. “W-What?”

Billie’s smile was slow, her lips curling at the edges like she couldn’t contain it.

“That was adorable.”

Your stomach flipped.

Your lips parted, but before you could even think of what to say, she was already leaning in, pressing the softest, most lingering kiss to your forehead.

“Baby,” she murmured, her nose brushing against your skin as she pulled back just enough to meet your eyes. “You never talk that much, and I swear I have actual heart eyes watching you right now.”

You made a noise in protest, your face burning. “Billie—”

“No, seriously,” she insisted, grinning now, her fingers sliding down to gently cradle your jaw. “You were so passionate, I could feel how much you cared, and—ugh, you’re just so cute.”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Stop.”

Billie giggled—an actual, breathless little giggle.

She pried your hands away from your face with ease, tugging them into her lap before lacing your fingers together.

“Why are you embarrassed?” she teased, tilting her head. “I loved it. Love when you talk like that.”

You chewed on your lip, still trying to process the ridiculous amount of fondness in her eyes. “…You do?”

Billie sighed dramatically, squeezing your hands. “Baby. I love everything about you.”

You exhaled slowly, the warmth in your chest growing until it was almost unbearable.

Billie beamed, looking entirely too pleased with herself. “Now—go on.”

You blinked. “What?”

She grinned. “Keep talking. I wanna hear more.”

Your heart stuttered.

You hesitated, but the way she was looking at you—the way she was practically soaking up your every word—it made the nerves melt away just enough.

So you did.

You kept talking.

And Billie listened.

She held onto your every word like it mattered, like you mattered.

And maybe, just maybe—

You’d let yourself get carried away more often.

[starkspondwater]

Hi can I request what dating kenny, Stan, and Kyle in high school would be like head cannons

High school hcs! Yes yes yes! Honestly sometimes I don't even know what hcs I have until someone asks for them so this is a blessing for me

Kenny, Stan, and Kyle-High School Dating Hc's

Kenny!

🧡I see Kenny as the type to act like a playboy in high school and have the reputation as a flirt, but not the numbers to back it up. Like he tried so hard to seem suave and smooth, but nothing works

🧡Now when it does work on a pretty thing like you he's taken aback and suddenly that little playboy attitude falls apart. That's when you'll see that hesitance and nervousness break through as he tries to actually ask you out properly

🧡Gestures type of guy- not the type to spend all his money on things for you but he shows his affection with his actions. Between him and his siblings he's learned how special it can be to do even the smallest things for a person, and now that you're his person that's what just what he does.

🧡Works a lot after school, as in will always have some sort of job or gig that he's doing to try to save up money. As a result that means a lot of after work dates in which he brings leftovers from the kitchens he works in or flowers he picked on the way over to your house. Your parents weren't pleased initially with having a teenage boy come over unannounced at like 9 pm but he's a charmer (you got 15 minutes before they kick him out)

🧡Big BIG cheerleader in anything you do. Are you in a sport? He's loud and proud in the stands. Cheerleader? He's at every practice watching you prance around. Hell if you were in chess club he'd probably get kicked out from how distracting he'd be.

🧡PDA fiend, but will be blushing the minute you reciprocate. Like he's all for having a hand in the back pocket or around the waist, but the second you give a peck as you leave for class he's done for.

🧡Kenny comes off as the type of high school boyfriend that is a complete simp, and despite how people may perceive him they would find that relationship so incredibly sweet.

🧡Even as a teen is planning for the future- he has plans to make that last and does talk about it casually like it's already happening. His friends find it a little laughable, but he is dead serious about his plans for you.

Stan!

💙I know in the show Stan is kind of a so-so boyfriend but he's also like 10. As he grows and matures into himself and finds his personal passions I see his perception on romance changing quite a bit

💙I will forever hc Stan as someone who truly appreciates the art of music. Yes, he prefers some of the harder stuff but that doesn't mean he can't see the merit of any other genre. As such I also firmly believe that he is the type to tie songs to certain people. His realization that the feelings he had for you were something more than platonic came from the love filled songs that he kept playing on repeat all while you were on his mind.

💙A romantic at heart with awkward execution. This boy grew up with Shelley Marsh, who might've beat his ass on more than one occasion but was still a teenage girl at one point. He's seen the sappy rom coms and he's seen the allure of Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. The issue is he is not the best at mimicking that. At the very least you find it cute.

💙Does try to be sweet and suave but it usually comes out as a jumbled mess that leaves him feeling embarrassed and a little nauseous. He will try to write you a love song at some point which he anxiously performed with many a missed note and stuttered lyrics, but regardless he still receives only the most important accolades in the form of your praise. God forbid his friends hear about him trying to woo you like that though, he will never hear the end of it.

💙Bad memory and as such does forget important things like dates and anniversaries. He would be a little confused as to why dating for 6 months was important (high school relationship anniversaries are something else, I do remember) but he'd still feel guilty at missing that. Would be the type to spend his allowance on something cheesy to make up for it (or if it was bad he's going to write you a song and perform it outside your window. Yes it does piss off your parents.)

💙He's all for fast food dates- just sitting in his truck with a meal between you two as you talk the hours away. His mother did chastise him for it saying something about how partners like to be taken out once in a while only for him to whine "but I did take them out! We went to Taco Bell last week!" To him he sees the comfort and intimacy of being alone like that more romantic than sharing a space with 20 other people at other tables. Plus it's more affordable.

💙Stan is not a planner. He knows the future is arriving at the speed of light but for him it's easier to take things as they come. Might be disappointing to hear but he is not the kind of guy who is planning your life together after graduation- all he knows is he wants to be a part of yours and so long as he is he feels mighty fine about whatever comes next.

Kyle!

💚I hc Kyle as being really sure of himself and who he is as a person. He stands by his convictions and has no problem arguing for his beliefs. Despite this he does have insecurities when it comes to things like romance. He was pretty confident when he was younger but after a few failed attempts (and the aftermath of The List still haunting him) I think he started feeling a little down about his romantic prospects.

💚If he's crushing it's more than obvious to his friends, but to others it's a lot more subtle-little glances and the need to be slightly closer than needed. He is not the type to pursue that crush unless 1. he gets a big push from Kenny or Stan (we know Eric isn't going to) or 2. He has a crystal clear sign that things aren't just going to crash and burn for him.

💚Nervous, nervous, nervous. He is going to be all nerves when things are brand new. Those first few dates, the hand holding, shy smooches, it all leaves him feeling jittery and like he's going to explode. But soon enough he finds his stride in routine with you, relaxing into the relationship as time goes on.

💚Big on family, no matter how irritating. You will meet Sheila at some point between your first the third date. If it's not her inviting you over for dinner it'll be an ambush as you two and his parents just so happen to be at the same restaurant "What a coincidence, Bubbe! Oh you much be Y/n!" Lots of pictures of the two of you will be taken. (I love Sheila. I want that noted.)

💚He's grown up with the importance of school drilled into his skull. As much as he adores you he might have to cancel a few dates to make sure he's not going to fail his next exam. When he realized there were such a thing as study dates though? You might as well have told him he won a huge prize. He does still take things very seriously though, don't expect him to slack on quizzing you.

💚Not a fan of PDA, only because when he's had to witness others do it he felt it was obnoxious. He does however still hold your hand during the day and give kisses in greetings, he's just not going to corner you into a locker like "some goddamn animal" as he'd say. There's a time and place for that and it is not in front of the student body.

💚I love the image of him playing basketball as his extra curricular- it's good exercise and great for improving teamwork and building connections (all great for a college application!) He'd probably be a bit shy to ask you to go to his games, saying it wouldn't be a big deal and it's not like it's a really important game anyway. When he sees you in the stands though his face is lit up like the brightest light bulb. Afterwards when he's introducing you to the team he's calling you his lucky charm all with a beaming smile and pink cheeks.

💚Unlike Stan, Kyle is indeed a planner. He's got his college picks ready by the end of sophomore year and he has his options for fields he wants to explore. That being said, he's not necessarily planning to go to the same college as you would be nor does he expect you to do the same. He is very set on making sure both of you get the most out of your future, and if that means being apart for a bit than he's willing to put in that work. His mom and dad were pretty pleased to hear that, but Sheila did notice that along with some of those ivy leagues Kyle applied to were a few colleges much closer to home that sounded very familiar to ones you had mentioned. If asked he'd just say admissions could be tough and he's making sure he's got his backups ready.

[wolfwarrior142]

As someone who relates to Rayla on a ton of personal/internal stuff and has actually seen some improvement in my own massive self confidence issues as a result of seeing her try to work through hers (both in this season and previously) and work on trusting people better, I hate that people are saying that bullshit. Oh no, characters who appear strong because of unhealthy coping mechanisms they've learned now learning how to develop more healthy ones. While also becoming close with those around them as a result. Oh no. The humanity. It's so awful to see. Especially in a show that's technically a kids show. And can maybe help kids. The humanity.

I'm glad I haven't actually seen anyone say that personally, cuz thats a very toxic mindset for people to have and I'd get so...annoyed with it. I'd block em immediately for sure cuz no one needs that bullshit.

people watching rayla learning how to trust / let other people help her, which a lack of was her entire fucking problem in arc 1: is this a bad character arc

[struwberrii]

oikawa headcannons ˚⊱🪷⊰˚

i <3 tooru oikawa

begs you to come to practice with him (he always shows off when you’re there and iwa calls him out on it quick)

has a stupid embarrassing contact name for you (like pookie bear or something but he’s 100% serious about it)

whenever he finds out something like when he was analyzing the karasuno technique he comes to you so excited to tell you all about it

sassy man apocalypse final boss

he has the most complex skincare routine that his big sister introduced him to

he used to use his sisters perfume when he didn’t have cologne on him so he would jusy smell like champagne toast from bath and body works (his team also made fun of him for it)

always smells sweet (like bakery items)

his voice when he speaks spanish is like 3 octaves deeper than usual

secretly loves brat by charli xcx

wears his skincare headband with a bow on it around the house

one time he opened the door for iwa with it on and now that’s his contact picture on iwas phone

he has perfect handwriting

gets so mean on roblox, like he genuinely sees red when he’s arguing with little kids

studies in coffee shops and tries to look mysterious

is really good at solving rubix cubes and puzzles for some reason

randomly picks you up and carries you on his shoulder for no reason

like hell just be walking around talking to people and doing stuff with you on his shoulder

if you guys fight really bad he’ll say the most hurtful things with a smile on his face and then gaslight you later into thinking he never said that

candy crush veteran (he’s been playing since it came out he’s on a higher level than your grandma)

waits for golden hour and sets his phone up to take his selfies

his hair is actually so soft like it’s unreal

loves coming up behind you and hugging you and just staying there for a while

genuinely cries if you praise him

makes tiktok grwm videos

type of guy to go and get his eyebrows threaded

he builds the minecraft house while you go find iron (YOURE A MAN!!!! OFF TO THE MINES!!!)

there is not a single bad picture of him out there like even if he’s caught off guard he looks perfect

never breaks out or anything like always has perfect skin

he’s the biggest drama queen, like god forbid he gets a cold the world would literally end

he has my melody house slippers

he has a lava lamp in his room that he’s had for like 5 years

loves fruit, like strawberries are the key to his heart

buys you drinks from the vending machine if you come to practice

sings in the shower really loud

has like 5 pairs of converse

sleeps with every stuffed animal you’ve given him

secretly listens to megan the stallion when he’s working out

d1 complainer, hes always whining about something

someone just tell him everything’s gonna be ok

[yameoto]

Haiii can you pls write a fic abt being rude to jordan all day which causes them to take their anger out on the reader at the end of the day and they’re just being really aggressive and manhandling?

FRUSTRATION. JORDAN LI.

✗ warnings ; dom!jordan, sub!reader, rough sex, dry humping, orgasm denial, brat taming. not proof read. wc ; 1.2k

THE last straw is the coffee. the fucking coffee.

the sick thing is that this time, you didn't even mean it. sure, your relationship was on pause. sure, you two had been exchanging barbed quips and jibes back and forth for the worse part of two weeks.

(there wasn't even a point to it, anymore—devolving into the most inane, stupid game of chicken; who can piss the other off more? but jordan is nothing but competitive — and you'd be damned if you let them show you up.)

but this time? you swore you were minding your business. like actual, cross your heart, hope to die—stick a cupcake in your eye. unfortunately for you, grade-school promises don't exactly stick up too well when you're standing in the middle of your dorm room doorframe; foaming, hot latte sopping into your favourite jacket. and bag. oops.

"are you fucking serious?" jordan's scowl is black, arms immediately flying out to shake their sleeves, to no avail. your mouth is already open — granted, not to apologise, but it doesn't matter much anyways when all of a sudden two hands are on your torso and you're being thrust onto a bed. you’re not exactly proud of the startled yelp that peels out of you, but fuck— jordan looks.. really fucking hot.

"you get off from pissing me off, or something?" jordan grunts, eyes flaring. there are the faintest hints of bags under their eyes, and a note of tension in their voice you've never heard before. you've clearly caught them at a bad time—even in the depths of this cold war between the two of you, they've never seemed this pissed — just.. mildly irritated.

"only sometimes." you snip back, instead, squirming as their hands dig into your shoulder. it's the wrong answer.

"no." jordan hisses, hand moving up to grip your jaw with a harsh squeeze. "no, no, no. none of that." they lean in, and abruptly you feel your heart jump to your throat; tensing at the indecipherable leer to their tone.

"here's what's gonna happen, baby," the endearment comes out a derisive snarl as their hand swallows your thigh, hiking your leg up and yanking you into a straddle over their leg.

"you're gonna hump my fucking thigh," jordan growls, edging in close, breath hot against your neck as if they're about to rip your throat out. "and you're gonna scream my name like a fucking banshee, got it?" they murmur, and you inhale, jaw slack at the sheer level of cruelty in their voice, and the unmistakable spike of heat that throbs your core.

unimpressed by your silence, jordan's hand constricts around the base of your neck, squeezing. "i said, got it?" they hiss, patience running thin, and you grunt—nails digging into your palms to restrain a wince, or god forbid—a whimper. "got it." you huff, annoyance forcing its way in your inflection as if you're not about to melt into a puddle all over their thigh. god, you've been waiting for this, waiting for this for so fucking long—a week without their touch has felt like a month without fucking water. not that you'd ever admit that, out loud.

a low, unreadable hum resounds from the back of jordan's throat. "well fucking hump, then, sweetheart." they say, voice low as their teeth nips against your skin. you take the hint—forgoing your pride and slowly beginning to grind against their leg, ache between your legs growing increasingly needy as you feed into its begging, pulsing throbs, little whines beginning to fall out of your mouth.

"i said fucking scream it," they hiss, lips latching onto your neck and sucking as your body begins to tremble, feeble whine releasing from your mouth, despite yourself. "i want everyone on the floor to know it's my fucking thigh you're rutting up against like a needy slut." they say, gaze hardening as you thrust yourself against them with a breathy moan, their tone alone making you course with need. "jordan—jordan, oh, fuck—" you gasp, hand fisting into the hem of their shirt.

"louder." jordan demands, a whisper. their fingers curl against your skin, hips bucking subtly at every mention of their name. you make a little noise of protest, but jordan's eyes flash— and you find yourself keening for their approval as you thrash in their lap, body trembling all over. "jordan—" you moan, back arching all while you grind urgently into their thigh, mind blanking. "jordan, jordan, jordan jordan—" the words spill in a shaky, hoarse slew of whines that fit perfectly around your lips, like their name was made for you. your body moves as mindless as your mouth, functioning only on one, single, primal, instinctual need.

jordan jordan jordan need need thigh fuck jordan fuck me fucking fuck me, already—

"i've felt like shit all week." jordan hisses, interrupting your highly intellectual thought process—though, they don't exactly look too cut up as you continue to hump their leg, eyes glassy and teary with want. you want more. you need more. you need them inside of you—"but you're gonna make it up to me, aren't you, doll?" jordan purrs, voice a rushed mumble as their hands dig into your waist. they forcibly jerk you forwards, wrenching your legs further apart so you're splayed across their groin instead of their thigh. this time, you can't help the audible whimper that leaves your throat. "then maybe i'll forgive you."

as if on cue, your pace speeds up with an excitable whine, burying your face under their chin. "please—more—" you force out, grasp on their hem tightening as you groan, loudly, hips bucking wildly against them. "need you— in me—" the words stumble out, shamelessly, barely comprehensible. jordan grins, and with dismay you realise they're shaking their head.

"oh, c'mon. you don't deserve it." they snort, and you whine at the sheer unjustness of it all. you were only mean for them for what? a week? a whole week of them not touching you, either—fuck, you need it—their fingers, their cock—anything to fill up the burning, pounding emptiness inside you, begging to be stuffed full. you open your mouth to protest, but jordan beats you to it. "you're gonna come on my fucking thigh, or you're not gonna come at all. okay, sweetheart?"

any potential complaints die in your throat, petering out to a dismal, shaky whine of defeat. you're still grinding furiously against them. frustrated grunts leave your lips as you squeeze your eyes shut, mattress quaking in time with your thrusts. you have no drive to win against them, anymore. all you wanna do is fucking come.

jordan's grip on you eases, bit by bit as you make a show of yourself — pants and whines spilling from you as you bury yourself deep into jordan's chest and just rut, like the useless thing you are. it's sad, it's needy, it's desperate; and the thing is you fucking can't— it's not enough. you need jordan. you need them.

the whimper that drifts from you even smaller than the ones before, and in an instant, your pants die— and you crumple into a breathless heap upon their chest. it still aches, dull throb between your legs left to pulse and groan out in need. you feel gross, and sticky, and sleepy. this is what you get, really, for thinking you could fuck around with jordan and get away with it.

"are you still mad at me?" you mumble into the crook of jordan's neck, fabric of their shirt still bunched up in your fists. "..jords..?" you mutter, and jordan smiles at the way your words slur, thighs still shaking, their pretty baby taught a lesson. "oh, doll." they grin, hand sliding along chest— your hipbone— the band of your underwear.

well. maybe there's still hope for you, yet.

[parkaplayboy]

main 4 + butters trying to court you HCs!

warnings: mentions of puking (stan), marijuana mention (stan) all characters are 18+ ! gender neutral reader !

Kenny McCormick

he's a nervous wreck.

when he flirts with people it usually just a one-time fling, nothing serious.

so when you pop into his life, he doesn't know what to do with himself

he's never felt this serious about anyone before

it almost angers him from the absolute chokehold you have this man in.

"I'm fucking Kenny McCormick! The original flirt! So why the hell can't I talk to them"

after every fumble he usually ends up in stan's room to sulk yet again.

stan finds it amusing to see him fumble so often

he tries so, so hard to maintain his usual air of confidence, but every time he talks to you he starts to flounder

"heyyyy, hot stuff.. you.. uh *cough* you come here often?"

it's kind of endearing to see the way he trips over his own feet to come over and talk to you

has actually face planted directly in front of you one more than one occasion

the boys rip on him ENDLESSLY for it.

he may not have much money, but what he lacks in funds he makes up in experience.

he will offer to tag along with you for even the most mundane tasks

"Ken, I'm just going to the hardware store." "What you meant to say is we are just going to the hardware store."

fiddles with the hem of his parka when he gets shy

god forbid you flirt with him. he CANNOT handle it

the poor boy damn near passed out the first time you kissed him.

Stan Marsh

for the most part he's level headed

until you fluster him too much.

the first time you flirted back he projectile vomited all over his own shoes.

he tries to make up for what he lacks in the words department with gifts.

if you smoke weed he will steal some from Randy's farm and give it to you

if that's not your thing, he will buy you trinkets and say "i saw this and thought of you"

he will invite you to band practice and not so subtly "serenade" you

kenny heckles him when he does this.

he will offer to teach you how to play guitar as an excuse to see you

when he finally decides to formally ask you out, it would most likely be when you guys are hanging out 1-1

he doesn't like grand gestures nor the pressure of other people in the room

Kyle Broflovski

hands down the most romantic out of the group

he'll buy you all the cliche romantic gifts

however he's not very good at flirting.. nor receiving compliments. not in person at least.

he gets flustered very easily

HOWEVER ! he found a loop hole :3

he may not be good at words when it comes to being face to face with you, but that doesn't mean he can't write down his thoughts.

which brings me to my next point !

he will leave letters for you to find!

kyle decorated the envelopes like a cliche anime confession note

eric has yet to let him live it down.

he's definitely big on grand gestures!

when he asks you out he'd do it in a romantic spot

the top of the ferris wheel, during your favorite band's concert, etc

he wants to do it big !

Eric Cartman

I hate to say it.

but he becomes more of an asshole than usual

but not in the mean way if that makes sense?

he just generally becomes a grade A nuisance

eric is definitely one of those guys that think teasing = flirting

he's not too big on gifts (besides snacks) but if he does get you something, he will try to make it seem like the smallest deal possible.

"yeah, yeah, whatever, it was on sale. don't cry over it or I'll take it back"

deep down really likes it when you get excited because it makes him feel like he did a good job

circling back to the snacks thing!

he truly views food as the sixth love language

he won't ask you directly, but he will try hard to figure out your favorite foods so he can buy/give them to you

first time he has you over for dinner he begs his mom to make your favorite meal

he sends you memes daily,

it gets to the point where he's basically just sending his entire fyp to you

speaking of which !

when he asks you out, he will use one of those shitty text block memes that say smth like "we should hold hands in the burger king parking lot"

(its also a self protection method because if you said no he could pretend it was just the meme)

Butters Stotch

this boy is too nervous to ask you out, i'm afraid

you will infact have to make the first move

however!

he's such a sweetheart

he will always walk you home

butters will offer his coat to you even if you have your own

"Butters for one, I have my own coat, for two its not even raini-" "You can never be too bundled up!"

like stan, he physically cannot handle affection.

he gets nose bleeds every time he gets flustered because he blushes like a tomato

he has to start carrying around a tiny pack of tissues when you two hang out

you MUST be direct with this man.

he will not pick up on the fact that you're flirting unless you spell it out to him

the first time you flirted with him was when you were hanging out with him and the main four guys.

you said something flirty right before they dropped you off but he didn't have a single clue

"Butters. what the hell was that?!" "Well wh'dya mean, eric?" "Did you seriously not pick up on the fact that they were flirting with you?" "Th-they WHAT??"

~~~~~

a/n: how obvious is it that kenny is my fav...

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; kento nanami

requested by ; anonymous (13/09/24)

fandom(s) ; jujutsu kaisen

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; kento nanami

outline ; “Can we request sfw dating headcanons for (Jujutsu Kaisen) Nanami Kento with gn s/o please?”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

to establish the obvious, kento nanami is a complete and utter gentleman. he’s the type of boyfriend that drapes his coat across your shoulders when he gets the first hint that you might be cold, the type of boyfriend that pulls out your chair for you at restaurants and insists on opening the car door for you when you’re getting out, the type of boyfriend who always texts you ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ and ‘i love you’ before after and during every mission he takes, the type of boyfriend who has every important date (your birthday and anniversary, your family’s and friends’ birthdays, holidays you celebrate, etc.) noted down on every calendar he has just so he doesn’t forget, the type of boyfriend who cooks breakfast for you whenever you stay at his overnight, and the type of boyfriend who waves it all off and insists that what he’s doing is just the bare minimum

only ever calls you by your name if he’s being super serious and otherwise refers to you using a rotating roster of traditional, sweet sounding pet names that never fail to make you smile. Think along the lines of ‘darling’, ‘my love’, ‘sweetheart’, and the like — and of course he’ll respond to whatever term of endearment you use for him as long as it’s not derogatory (yes even if it’s more on the ridiculous side, he loves you more than enough to put up with your mischievous side after all)

does his best to set aside enough time each day for the two of you two have an actual conversation no matter how busy he is with meetings or teaching or missions — though, of course, there are times where he’s too far away or has too little time to meet with you in person and those catch ups have to be done over the phone (which he’s always very apologetic about). and in addition to that he tries his best to keep at least one day each week completely free so the two of you can spend it together, either going out on a proper date (which you alternate planning between you) or just to run errands and be a normal couple for a while. it’s the only thing keeping him sane these days to be honest, so these moments mean the absolute world for him

enjoys physical affection but is a bit more reserved when it comes to pda. don’t get him wrong, he’s by no means embarrassed about you or trying to hide your relationship, he’s just someone that prefers to keep his private life private and is keenly aware that any sense of privacy the two of you have will be immediately obliterated if one of his students (or, god forbid, gojo) happen to see the both of you being all lovey-dovey in public. so, yeah, he’ll stick to hand-holding and chaste kisses and a hand on your back for now and you can smother him with affection all you want the second you two get home — deal?

his favourite places to kiss you (aside from your lips, obviously) are on the tip of your nose, the apples of your cheeks, your knuckles, and the nape of your neck (especially after he’s helped you put on a necklace or adjust the clothes you’re wearing)

his favourite places to be kissed by you (again, aside from on his lips) are: the space between his brows, his cheeks, his fingertips, and between his shoulders (especially after a very taxing day at work)

brings you back something special every time his work as a sorcerer takes his far from home, and because he knows you like the back of his hand each gift is something he knows you’ll love. sometimes it’s something like a pastry or sweet from a specific bakery that you’ve been dying to try. other times it’s a special edition collectible or book that you’ve been searching for. occasionally it’s something bigger like a new outfit or accessory that looks stunning on you. but no matter what it is, how big or how small or how expensive it was to buy, you can guarantee that you’ll love it because of just how much thought went into getting it for you — how cute!

keeps a picture of you in his wallet and also has you as his phone lock screen. neither photograph is, on the surface, particularly extraordinary or from a memorable event (with one being of you mid-laughter in his kitchen on some random tuesday morning and the other being from a trip to the seaside where you’d managed to somehow get ice cream on your nose), but they’re his favourites nonetheless because they both captured you in moments of genuine happiness — hell, he can’t even remember whether you knew you were being photographed in either situation, all he knows is that you look amazing in both and he loves seeing them even when he can’t see you in person

you’re the only one that’s able to make him actually burst into laughter — like full on, hunched over, tears in his eyes, laughter — and gojo is forever trying to figure out how you do it

the students are all under the impression that the two of you are married despite the fact that you’re not even engaged yet because he has you on his phone as ‘spouse/husband/wife’ already

if you bring him lunch during his workday he’s going to fall even deeper in love with you — bonus points if it’s homemade but he appreciates the effort you went through to get it to him even if it’s store bought on the way to the school

dotes on you when you’re sick or injured and makes for an incredible nurse, even when he’s unable to take time off for one frustrating reason or another — like he will text and call you regularly to make sure you’re taking your medicine and painkillers, and that you’re eating and drinking enough (and if he’s especially worried he may just straight up send someone over to check on you… ideally shoko but if she’s busy you’ll have to make do with ino or maybe even gojo and the students if he’s worried enough)

makes note of any appointments you have and will do what he can to ensure that you make it to each of them on time (or early if he gets his way) — when he has the time this means actually driving and accompanying you to where you need to go, but more often than not this means texting you reminders about it and sending one of the drivers to take you to make sure that you get where you need to go without taking any unnecessary risks

[blackknight-kai]

This is gonna sound insane but HEAR ME OUT—

Have you ever heard of the term of a 'womb tattoo' (WT) ? It's basically like a tattoo/sigil that is placed over where the womb would be (on the skin itself) and it would have like, different spell properties depending on the type of tattoo/sigil that was inked

What if, WHAT IF— Sun Wukong knows the basic of WT magic and have been secretly planning to place one on his beloved? (With consent, of course)

I'd honestly think he'd enjoyed seeing how his beloved would look so flushed - sweat dribbling down their skin, their breaths short and quick and just how often they would palm at their lower abdomen; the tattoo/sigil from THE Sun Wukong himself is thrumming with want, with need for any speck of attention the simian demon would throw their way.

I'm so insane actually. Perhaps this year was a good year for monkeys all around

(I’m really tired and wrote this before sleep so I hope this came out okaaaaay)

You have an awesome idea here! Wukong wanting to share something like this with his beloved? Absolutely! This COULD go into yandere territory but I wont go there since it can ALSO go into consenting territory especially if reader is okay with it. Sun Wukong wouldn’t MAKE them get it but them being willing? Awesome.

N.S.F.W Under the cut - 2 parter in here :)

Wukong brings it up one night, at first it’s kinda playful but definitely devolves into a slightly serious conversation. I mean he doesnt wanna force you or make you uncomfortable. PLUS it’s not like it has to happen NOW. But he wants to make sure you know what youre getting into. Because this could be A LOT. Especially for someone attached to HIM.

When you do agree to it he’s going to be sooooo stoked and excited. Will definitely prepare what he can for it and then maybe set a day specifically for getting it on you. No matter how long the actual spell takes most likely he just wants to have some fun and make it a nice playful comfy thing, maybe he takes you apart bit by bit and then puts you back together before putting it on you while youre nice and relaxed. Or maybe in the middle of your orgasm he casts the spell?

Either way, you’re in for a ride after. See, the spell doesnt work for just ANYONE. Most womb spells seem to showcase that “any man” will do. Not for Wukong. Nope. He’s gonna make sure that the only way this thing reacts is because of HIM. Thing is, Wukong is pretty damn strong right? Powerful. So it’s only fair that his mark is as well. You’re going to be a MESS so often it’s not even funny. You KNEW he was attracted to you, duh you sleep together all the time, but to THIS extent?

Having HIS attention is NOT for the weak or someone who doesnt want to put up with his shit. Because as a King he has WANTS and he has DEMANDS. I’ve said it many times at this point, Sun Wukong DEMANDS your pleasure. It is HIS. His right, his privilege. He WILL get it.

It’s going to get to a point where you could be doing mundane things and then all of a sudden the mark is going off and youre practically bowled over by the sudden sensation. He’s off doing King stuff? Doesn’t matter. Good luck getting anything done that day because god forbid he’s bored at a celestial court meeting or something, he is going to fantasize about you through the entire thing making your mark go fucking nuts. You’re going to be dripping and trembling, sweating and struggling to stand for hours. Trying to touch yourself? Good luck, unless you pass out this isn’t gonna stop.

He’s watching you from across the room full of people? His eyes traveling up and down your body and taking in those curves and features he so loves? Your pussy is going to be woke the fuck up and when he smells your slick not only is he going to feel prideful about it, he’s going to make it so much worse. Thinking about all the filthy things he could do to you right there and now.

Wukong brushes his tail across your ass? It’s like little fireworks of pleasure are set off on your skin where it touched you, I hope you learn how to stop yourself from moaning on a dime because he was definitely thinking about something naughty when he did it and now your clenching around NOTHING but needing to be filled with him.

ALSO NEW THOUGHT (Lucky you LOL two thoughts for 1). Actually…..I hope you dont mind if I go that direction instead of an established relationship one….Cuz thats where this is taking me now.

General Properties

- [ ] Only reacts to Sun Wukong and NO other.

- [ ] Normally you’d have to be within a certain distance of the person for the tattoo to react to their dirty thoughts about you, but Wukong? AHAHAHA yeah. Dude could be off doing fuck knows what however far away and your tattoo will react to him thinking nasty things about you.

- [ ] Him looking at you with lustful eyes? Or maybe he brushes by you in a certain way? This is gonna set off the tattoo too.

- [ ] The tattoo can react in various levels depending on what HE has going on. Generally he likes you to simmer. Sweat a little. Edge you all day. Likes to remind you of him as you go about your day.

- [ ] The reaction is basically as if a low level vibrator is inside you, getting turned on higher and higher depending on what he’s doing/thinking and for how long. It’s gonna feel like a gentle massage of your clit along with it, not enough USUALLY to make you come but you are going to be FEELING it.

- [ ] Another fun thing, if he touches himself in a sexual way - Example strokes his cock, your pussy reacts as though hes fucking it. Hope you’re ready for THAT in the middle of a random Tuesday.

- [ ] A later addition to the mark will be where you cant orgasm without tasting or taking in his seed through your pussy. He’s gone for a few days and wants you to be panting and so damn needy for him when he comes home, as though youre heat.

While was writing this as an established relationship, I also had the thought of Reader being his bride to be - and consenting to get the mark. But they haven’t consummated the relationship since they aren’t married yet, and the effects and stuff I list out above would be AMAZING.

When you found out that you were going to be marrying someone you HADNT expected it to be THE Monkey King, Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Earth himself, Sun Wukong. You’d met him several times, each time was a pleasant experience. He was oddly charming, cheeky, and mischievous of course. You laughed at his little pranks and trickery, listened to his captivating stories. It seemed like when you guys were in the same space he would eventually seek you out, enjoying your company for a little while before one of his pranks caught up to him and he had to make a quick exit.

You found him VERY attractive in a lot of ways. Be it his handsome face and that roguish smirk he does or how intelligent he clearly is underneath all that arrogance. His strength and power is also something that captures your attention both physical and mental. While his temper could use some work at times you find him endearing. The fact that he takes his time to come over and say hi to you, make you laugh, and spend time with you, even asking about you makes you feel as though he see’s you. Since he doesnt generally bother with things like that too much from what you can tell.

You weren’t 100% certain but you thought he was flirting with you a lot of the time. Your cheeks turning red and his smile growing a little wider as though he’s pleased with himself at your reaction. Tension, or at least you HOPED it’s mutual, brews between you two every time youre in the same space. Sometimes, before he makes his way over to you, you can feel his eyes on you from across the way. Upon looking, there he is. Wukong will give you a little wave with either his hand or even his cheeky tail before returning to whatever conversation or thing he was doing, but those eyes of his will wander back periodically.

When the offer of marriage came well….you were a little shocked to say the least. The thing was, it wasn’t an immediate marriage but rather, he was to court you for a time with the intention of marriage at the end of it. You would essentially be his bride to be but with a brief period of time, about a year, where he would spend time with you and the two of you get to know each other more. Honestly, you thought it was something he would NEVER do. Between the stories about him or his wild nature. You figured either he would never ‘settle’ down or he’d marry right away, not wanting to go through the hassle when he would be marrying them anyway.

Accepting the offer was easy. Honestly, you were intrigued by him and definitely had a huge fat crush on him. After spending a few outings with him you come to realize you could absolutely fall in love with him too. A few months into the courtship the tension between the two of you is HIGH. There have been kisses, but Wukong always stops them before they get too heated. Light lingering touches but always in respectable places. It’s maddening. But from what he explained to you, he wanted to make sure the two of you matched well. That YOU know and understand him before fully committing to him, because as he’s said, once you’re his there wont be any going back. He hadnt said it in a menacing way or anything, but you can tell that he was serious. About you and this relationship, that for him, this is IT.

By your third month of courtship though Wukong springs something on you. He assures you that he can remove it if it’s something that becomes an issue or you decide not to move forward with the relationship.

A womb tattoo.

He allows you a little time to think about it, after covering all the specifics. You’re nervous at first, as you haven’t really had a sexual encounter with him as of yet. Not that you didn’t WANT to, but again he has been keeping things clean between the two of you aside from a few sexually charged flirtatious remarks sprinkled here or there. But regardless of wherever you are his eyes always tell you how much he wants you too. A lot of the time when you separate for the day you’re left wanting….fantasizing about what could he possibly be thinking about.

Eventually, you agree. Mainly because he doesnt pressure you about it. It’s almost like he never asked or brought it up. The way his eyes light up and he takes a moment to process your acceptance though tells you how genuinely excited he is about the idea. His tail swishes and flicks almost erratically behind him as he double checks with you before he sets a day for you two to begin the process for the tattoo.

You’d both decided to start easy, something simple. The tattoo itself, as he had explained, isnt ink and it wont show up unless he messes with the spell itself. But the spell will attach itself to your core and will ONLY react to HIM. This way, no other would accidentally activate it. Not wanting to overwhelm you at first, he sets the spell to only react when he’s looking at you with a lust full gaze. You’re nervous as he has you lie down, your clothes on but you do have to adjust them just enough to reveal your hips and the space your uterus sits under your skin. He hadnt wanted you to undress fully, this way he can enjoy you on your wedding night.

Wukong applies the spell and its a strange sensation, it doesnt hurt but its intense. When hes done he soothes you and tells you that you’ve done well. He tells you that the spell will activate by the time you see him next, this way your body has time to adjust to it.

You thought you were prepared. You were not.

The next time you see him you two aren’t alone but as his familiar eyes land on you, the hair on the back your neck stands up and then your body goes ridged as a tingling sensation starts up inside you body. It’s gentle, but it causes you to gasp and flush a little as your pelvic muscles contract at the sudden soft vibrating that is pulsing in your pussy. You KNOW nothing is in you, this must be the spells doing. You watch Wukong, having to lean over and support yourself with the back of a chair as his eyes roam up and down your body slowly. Once his eyes lock on to yours and he see’s your face he smirks wide and slow. His eye brow raises slowly though, a look of ‘Still okay?’ Comes across his expression and you nod a little shyly. Feeling embarrassed but also…excited. The tattoo isn’t overwhelming, more like a light gentle touch keeping you awake but not enough to make you desperate. At least at first.

This continues for a few weeks, the strange but pleasant buzzing sensation inside you whenever he’s around. It’s tantalizing and you find yourself desperate to return home and bring yourself to orgasm every time you end up spending hours with him. It’s almost constant in a way you weren’t prepared for but definitely dont mind. Especially when he knowingly teases you or leans in and whispers in your ear telling you how pretty your red cheeks are. Or asking you why youre squirming so much with a knowing grin on his face.

When he asks if he can adjust the spell, letting you know what additions he’d like to make, you agree. The little secret between the two of you is thrilling and you truly want to discover more with him. This time the additions will include if he’s thinking about you and if he touches you with intention. What he only hinted at though was how the intensity was going to increase. He also told you that he was leaving something up for a surprise.

After he adjusts the spell, that night when it finally settles, you gasp awake. Your body is sweaty and you’ve slicked up enough that your underwear is damp. The once soft tingling sensation is now an intense direct feeling. It’s not truly enough to make you orgasm but it’s enough to make you sweat and squirm. Your clit is swollen and your entrance pulses with need and you genuinely cannot stop yourself from immediately reaching down to bring yourself to ecstasy. From the feeling, this had been going on for some time before you woke. Meaning Wukong has been thinking about you. The thought makes you shiver with excitement and flattery. Happy that his thoughts are currently consumed with you.

From here it’s a little more difficult to remain passive. Sometimes you can be spending time with your friends or completing a chore for the day when the buzzing starts up. It makes you weak in the knees and you have to do your best not to react too much. When he’s around and watching you it’s even harder. You know he sees how warm you are, the sweat starting to bead on your skin, and the slight tremor you have every so often. Your speech is breathier too.

Wukong clearly enjoys seeing you like this. His tail always swishing and his face while usually showing a smirk sometimes remains stoic. But his eyes. His eyes watch you with such intense desire and pride that it makes you almost want to beg him to touch you. He seems to relish in the fact that he can make you so needy that you have to press on your abdomen or cross your legs tightly as you sit down. His kisses now are always a little more on the heated side, but he still never lets them get TOO heated. You can see in his expression as he pulls back that he is testing his own patience. He whispers to you how delicious you smell, that he can smell you from across the way and he cant wait to finally drink from its source after youre married.

One night, not too long after the new addition was added to the spell youre lying in bed, getting ready to sleep when that now familiar tingling starts up inside you. Since youre alone you relax back and allow yourself to sigh at the pleasant buzz. That is, until it feels like something thick and blunt is making its way inside you.

Your eyes widen and you gasp, arching your back and spreading your legs unconsciously as the invisible object slowly starts to thrust in and out of you. A little panicked you reach down and under your clothes, a moan forcing its way out of your throat at the continued stimulation. Your hole is empty and definitely NOT being stretched open by anything but your fingers. The ghost sensation of something inside you is so visceral, so real though, and your body jerks and thrums as the object moves faster, hitting inside you just a little rougher too. Your whole body comes alive and it feels like not just your clit and pussy are are pulsing with need, but so are your nipples and all the little pleasure spots on your body.

You cant catch your breath and involuntarily our hips move, chasing the ghost sensation as you touch yourself. You’re so wet that the slick sound of your fingers dipping inside you makes you shudder and you quickly realize that THIS was the surprise Wukong had added. How he’s making you feel this way you dont know, but you DO know he’s thinking about you, heavily. Your orgasm comes so suddenly that you cry out and clamp down on your own fingers. The blunt object doesnt stop moving though, fucking you through your orgasm until youre shaking and near tears. It seems to move faster and faster, losing its own rhythm until finally it slams in and then stills.

You lie there panting, body sweaty and your legs still trembling as you finally are allowed to come down from your high. The tingling slowly dissipates to a low gentle feeling until it’s gone. Leaving you oddly satisfied and definitely curious.

When you pluck up the courage to ask him about it, Wukong gives you the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen, his fangs on display. He first asks you if you liked it, which you nod with a little hesitation, mainly due to it being such a new thing. Your Monkey King then tells you that what you experienced was him fucking his fist while thinking about you. That as he touched himself your body was reacting accordingly, as though his cock was deep inside you instead of his hand.

The knowledge sets your body on fire and it sets his mind wondering too. You let out a little whimper as the tingling sensation comes back in full force, immediately ramping up your lust and desire. He reacts to your sounds and panting breath accordingly too, which doesnt help your situation. The kiss he gives you that day is the filthiest one you’ve received so far, and when you orgasm on nothing, not even a touch, Wukong looks at you like you’ve given him the stars & moon as a gift.

Your wedding day to him cant come any faster. Because while you enjoy this little secret game the two of you have been playing, enjoy feeling the ghost of his cock fuck into periodically when he cant contain himself and has to fuck his own fist….It’s not enough. You want to feel his warmth. Feel his claws digging into your skin as he pounds into you. His fangs marking you and his release filling you until he has nothing left.

- [ ] Once you guys get married this gets even worse (better). Especially with your permission of course, but he is going to fuck his fist when he KNOW’s youre doing things JUST so you have to try to fight to stay on your feet and not react.

- [ ] He’s going to be a major tease 24/7 since he doesnt ever stop thinking about you. Never stops wanting you.

- [ ] When he adds the addition about ‘can only come when you taste or receive his seed’??? Yeah good luck. Because he is going to edge the HELL out of you.

- [ ] He wont do it all the time dont worry, he does want to be inside you and fuck you just as much as he wants to watch you squirm for him.

- [ ] The cum thing though, let’s say hes been edging you for AGES. You’re in public and you NEED to orgasm. BADLY. You’re dripping and so fucking desperate for it. If he’s feeling nice (and you beg him so pretty for it), he will pull you to the side and maybe let you suckle his cock to taste his precum so you can orgasm finally. Or he will shove his hand down his pants and get it for you that way, sticking his wet fingers in your mouth since you’d gotten him so worked up. OR he will let you suck him off fully or will cum in your mouth, just the head of his dick past your lips while he strokes himself to you touching yourself.

- [ ] He may add or remove some stuff depending on what is too much or maybe you need a break - he’s good to you!

- [ ] If you’d like to experience a heat when he goes into a rut? Spell can take care of that.

- [ ] Extra fertility? He’s got you with the spell.

- [ ] Extra stamina or extra sensitivity? He can make that happen too.

- [ ] You being so turned on for him while he watches you squirm, waiting for you to reach your breaking point or begging point is something he will NEVER get tired of.

- [ ] You do have a safe word/phrase. This way, if you’re in public and he’s activating the spell around people, which he usually does because watching you and smelling you get so needy for him in secret is thrilling as fuck and turns him on, he doesn’t accidentally push you too far.

- [ ] That said, would he love watching you try to stifle an orgasm? Yeah. But only when he’s next to you so he can pull you into him and you can moan against him - your sounds muffled because those are FOR HIM.

- [ ] You boost his ego astronomically because of this spell, not only with your trust in him but because you WANT him just as much genuinely and not just because of the spell.

[munsonsmixtapes]

I'll Help You Get Over It (3)

fuckboy!eddie x fem!reader

After taking a look at your life, you finally realize that you deserve better.

cw: reader has a complicated relationship with her parents, verbal abuse

You wake up the next morning having no idea where you are until it all sinks in. You came over to Eddie’s to apologize and then you drank and got high together. You never would have thought that this would have happened, but you’re grateful for it. You’ve only had a couple conversations with Eddie but it’s clear that he’s the only one who isn’t pitying you. He treats you normally, not like you’re this fragile thing that’s on the verge of breaking. 

Because Eddie sees how strong you are. He sees how much you can handle. But that doesn’t mean he thinks you can take being tormented by that jackass. He’s seen the way you’ve been treated and now he wished he had stepped in and defended you. He just didn’t think it was his place but now he knows better. 

The events of last night finally register in your now sober brain and you can’t seem to keep yourself from panicking. What are you going to look like leaving another guy’s apartment the day after you broke up with your boyfriend of a year and a half? You know that no one would actually care and are sure that this is just a result of your hangover induced anxiety. 

You also just don’t know what you’re supposed to do now that Josh is no longer in your life. It’s only a matter of time before parents find out the truth. Before they notice that Josh has stopped coming by and you’re terrified to tell them the truth. They’re just going to tell you that you’re throwing your life away and you really can’t stand to hear that again.

Because now that you’re in your last year of college, it’s time for you to get serious. You need to settle down with a nice man and get married. You need to let him be the one to be the breadwinner while you sit at home with your children. 

That degree you’ve been working for? Yeah, might as well throw it in the trash because there’s no way you’ll have time to have a career and be able to raise your children. All of that on top of cleaning the house and doing laundry and making all of the meals, you won’t have the time. 

Going to college is just to show your intelligence, not to get an actual career. God forbid you actually want to do something with your life. Everything was already predetermined before you were even born. 

You shake yourself out of your mental breakdown and turn to see Eddie lying next to you. His eyes slowly open and he puts on that smile that you now feel a little more comfortable to admit is adorable. 

“Morning,” he says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Morning,” you reply, trying your best to remain calm. You really don’t want him to think you’re crazy.

“Breakfast?” God, that sounds great, but you really shouldn’t be here. You have to get home and change before class. You’re worried about what your parents would think if they found that you slept at a boy’s place. And if they found out the kind of guy he was, well, better start packing now because they’d definitely kick you out. And how could you do that to poor Josh? He’s been so good to you, so faithful. 

“I should really get going. Early classes and all.” You grab your purse from the hook by the door as you slip on your shoes and Eddie’s quick to follow you. He came on too strong, didn’t he? He was just trying to be a good friend and now he’s running you off because he’s never known how to play it cool. 

“Okay, well, do you want to meet up tomorrow to work on the project?” He stuffs his hands into the pocket of his sweatpants and god, he looks so adorable like this with his bed head. You wonder if maybe in another life you would have ended up with Eddie if you hadn’t cared so much about what your parents thought. 

You’re beginning to wonder if you ever really loved Josh or if that was just your parents' influence. You wonder how much they really shaped the person you are today down to the clothes you wear. Even though you make your own decisions every day, you know that they’re not really yours. You’re just the puppet and your parents are pulling the strings, making sure that you make the best decision. 

“Sure,” you nod. 

“Here, put in your number,” he says as he hands you his phone. “I know we don’t really know each other that well, but you have a safe space here. You’re welcome any time.” You hate that you’re tearing up at the gesture. There are very few people in your life who you’ve actually felt like you could go to-Robin and Steve being two of them. All of your other “friends” are Josh’s. 

“Thank you, Eddie,” you tell him as you hand his phone back, your fingers brushing as you do so. “That means a lot to me.” With that, you turn on your heel, surprised when he follows you down the hallway to the elevator. 

“You didn’t think I’d make you walk to your car by yourself, did you?” He asks with that cute smile that’s become so infectious. You don’t think Josh has ever walked you to your car so this is definitely uncharted territory. 

“Oh, thank you.” 

“Yeah, no problem.” He presses the button that leads down to the lobby and you both wait for the elevator that comes very quickly. He gestures for you to go first and you step into the elevator as Eddie presses the proper button. 

There’s nothing but silence between the two of you and Eddie can’t help but notice that you’re more tense than normal. He assumes that it’s because of your breakup and he knows how hard that can be. Well, he doesn’t really know, but he can assume. He’s never actually been in a relationship and that’s the way he likes it. 

But he really does feel for you. He can’t imagine spending so much time with a person then realizing that they’re not who you thought they were. But he has a feeling that you always knew who Josh was. Anytime he saw you two together, you always looked like you would have rather been anywhere else.

The elevator door opens and Eddie leads you out of the lobby and to your car where you’ve parallel parked perfectly. To his surprise, you give him a brief hug, thanking him again before you get into your car and drive off. He just stands there after you’ve left, wondering why he ever made you out to be a villain.

You’re filled with dread when you turn onto your street, even more so when you see your mother in the yard, arms crossed over her chest. You sit in the car for a second to gather yourself after you’ve turned the car off. She’s at your side of the car, glaring at you from the other side of the window. 

She backs away when you get out and that’s when the yelling starts. You can’t even count how many times this exact thing has happened so you’re even phased. You just let her yell at you until she eventually cools off. You don’t have it in you to argue with her anymore even though the anger is progressively rising inside you. 

“Where were you? You know you can’t be out overnight without telling us.” You roll your eyes and words are flying out of your mouth before you can stop them.

“Last time I checked, I was an adult and I was allowed to do whatever I wanted.” 

“Not under our roof, you’re not.” Your father appears in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest while your mother stands behind you, preventing you from going anywhere. 

“Then I guess I just won’t live here anymore. How about that?” Your parents burst out laughing like you’ve just said the most funny thing. You’re close to exploding and you’re not sure how much you can take when you hear a car pull up behind you, the breaks coming to a screeching halt. 

You turn and just your fucking luck, it’s Josh who’s getting out of the car. You let out a frustrated groan and turn to head into the house, but your father is still blocking the doorway. You blink a few times to hopefully wake up from this nightmare, but this, unfortunately is your real life. 

“You fucking bitch!” Josh stomps towards you, not even caring that your parents are right there. They’re finally seeing his true colors and maybe now they’ll actually believe you. He jabs his finger in your face and you’re seconds away from punching him. “You really thought you could sleep with some other guy and I would know?” 

“You were with another boy?” Your mother seems so horrified by the revelation which is so like her. Of course you’re the villain here. 

“Yes, I was, but nothing happened. Not that that’s any of your business because in case you forgot, you’re not my boyfriend anymore.” You don’t have to look at your parents to see how disappointed they must be. You don’t care either. You’re over this and them. This conversation is over and you’re leaving. For good this time.

“You don’t mean that. You just need time to cool off.” 

“I don’t need anything except for you to leave me alone. We’re over, Josh. In case you forgot, you’re thirty. Don’t you think it’s a little gross that I’m in my early twenties? Don’t you think it’s a little weird that all your friends are my age?” He’s livid now and he goes to reach for you, but your fist collides with his nose before he can touch you.

“You little cunt!” He grabs hold of his nose which gives you the perfect amount of time to hurry into the house to grab your stuff as your parents rush to comfort him. You throw a bunch of stuff into a duffel bag before heading back out of the house and throwing it into your passenger seat. The three of them surround the car, all yelling things at you as you pull out of the driveway. 

As soon as you pull out onto the street, you know exactly where you’re going and you’ve never felt more free. All of that weight you’ve been carrying falls off you as you get further away. You have no idea why you hadn’t done this sooner, but now that you’re out of there, there’s no way you’re going back. You pull into the driveway of the house that you’ve always called home and hurry to the door, knocking on it. Robin opens it and you smile shyly in response. 

“Any chance I can crash here for a while?” You ask, holding up your bag and she wordlessly opens the door to the house as well as your new life. You’re definitely going to like it here.

part one part two

[sailorblossoms-rankane]

I find myself cringing (like foaming in the mouth and full-body twitching) when female Ranma asked screamed for Ryoga to help him. LIKE URGH—Ranma will absolutely do a somersault and a backflip going to the volcano's pit instead of asking Ryoga's help! Man, the old version is so goddamn weird.

the old anime is indeed weird as fuck.

I haven't seen what you mention, but in general: anime Ranma is generally just a fraud. He constantly has to be saved or helped in situations he would neveeerrr need any help. They often make him look like a common clown. There's a filler where he has a fight with a child and he LOSES (and this is somehow no big deal for him. Manga Ranma would never let this shit stand) whenever I watch anime original content (don't get me started on the movies)... i have yet to see anything that truly underscores that bro is built different. They even change manga content to make him look more useless like

it's even worse with girl Ranma because girl, which means male fantasies. Part of this is this thing where they give girl Ranma weirdly sexualized lines or behavior to sell her as "available" for a male audience, sometimes they use Ryoga to deliver them ("she says it to him" but it's actually for you) (there's this WEIRD scene in the soap arc where the anime has Ranma washing Ryoga's back while calling him a hunk the ladies die for, which is part of the fantasy for the audience... in the manga, Ranma simply knocks him out with a blow and runs. He would kill himself before saying or doing some of the shit they have him doing in that show) I don't eve going to take screenshots of the tweets where I show examples, I might start foaming myself. So let's focus on the next fantasy: the damsel.

Girls' gotta be fragile, so they do this in the pantyhose episodes: instead of Ranma protective Akane with his body and looking fierce, they do a "scared girl" closeup

they also omit Ranma making it clear he's angry cuz Akane almost got hurt btw, so you might think part of his anger was bro (feminine) just being afraid of the big bad boulder

speaking of damsels

however, because this is indeed a very strange show, in the shinnosuke ova they do the opposite (an ova where they remove practically all of Ranma's vulnerability and the depth of his feelings for Akane... they have bro SNORING when they reveal Akane is MISSING and no, I'm not making it up or exaggerating, but anyway...)

in moments where girl Ranma is meant to look vulnerable, they show her like an action hero

(why the fuck is Ranma saying this to Akane after saving her is beyond me. makes it seem like Ranma can't help but put her down, even when it's dead serious, which he also does in the movies)

bro is meant to be heartbroken </3 (they also ommit all the instances of boy Ranma looking like he lost his will to live, god forbid that motherfucker shows how bad he has it for her)

[1sab4lla]

“god forbid a girl get huzz” - 2

you applied your lipliner smoothly, double checking your appearance in the mirror. you were backstage on the tonight show, excited, admittedly, but a tad bit nervous.

you set your phone down, smoothing your hair down anxiously, before a knock on your dressing room rang through your head. “you ready?” a lady asked kindly, carrying a clipboard. you nodded, flashing her a soft smile before standing up, smoothing out your dress, before following her towards the main stage. you waited anxiously, the only thing on your mind being that mike would see you.

“now, our next guest is someone i’m super excited about — she’s been making waves the past few years in the entertainment industry, and is here tonight to talk to us a bit about her career. please welcome to the show, miss y/n l/n!” jimmy’s voice rang out, followed by a round of applause, and you headed onstage, flashing a smile and waving at the audience, before shaking hands and taking the seat across from him.

”well, it is so good to have you here! can i just say, you look fantastic!” he flashed you a grin. “thank you, jimmy!” you smiled. “well, i mean, i’m so glad to be here, y’know? i mean, when you start out, you never think you’ll be here.” you admitted, smoothing your dress down as you laughed softly.

“oh, it was a guarantee sometime soon. considering all the projects you’ve had going on for you — and, i mean, you’ve been booked, right? ever since you started acting, you’ve put yourself to work.” he pointed out. “now, i wanted divulge back into your past jobs a bit. so, tv shows.” he peeked at one of his showcards.

“yellowjackets, and this is us.” he noted. the audience clapped at the mention, and you flashed a smile. “yeah, that’s correct. so, actually, i landed the role on this is us not so long after i filmed american honey, and i was worried i’d flop, y’know? so when i walked into that audition room, i was honestly just kind of assuming i wouldn’t get the role. and when i got the call-back, it was just kind of a holy shit moment. like.. this show, was originally already written for six seasons. so i was in it.” you laughed softly, crossing your legs.

“and, i mean, when i actually met the cast, i was so awestruck, y’know? i mean, i’m a huge fan of gilmore girls, and low and behold, milo ventimiglia is there. and i see him, and, oh my god, he is such a dad.” you laughed. “so, he says hi, and smiles, and i was like.. this is not real.” you grinned. “and, i mean, i’m still very much close to all my cast mates. i idolize everyone so much, and just — the idea that we’ve acted in a show so emotional, as well as beautiful just brings us together, in a way.” you said, and jimmy nodded, flashing you a wide smile as well.

“when i tell you i cried every episode.” he sighed in mock exasperation, and laughed. “no — like, i’m so serious! i would watch with my wife, and it’s like, man, these people can never get a break!” you grinned, shaking your head. “oh, believe me, i know. i can’t rewatch it, definitely only a one-time watch for me.”

the rest of the interview went pretty smoothly. you answered any questions, overall making a good impression on jimmy and the audience. the nervousness never quite went away, the idea that mike was watching made you overthink your body language, responses, and just looks in general.

once you had bid him farewell, and stepped off the stage, you finally checked your phone, seeing messages from zendaya, josh, and timothée.

a/n: AYY AYY !! also i updated the things reader is starring in, sorry!! i figured why not tv shows😆 and btw, i actually love this is us, i watch it all the time with my mom☺️☺️ i def recommend it!

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Ascended Astarion has infected my brain. Especially when you try to break up with him as a spawn and he's just, "Aw, that's cute. No."

TW: It's Ascended Astarion doing Ascended Astarion things. Consent, kindness, or morality arent major factors in this man's life.

Personal headcanons for him, a mixture of you being spawn and not:

Twisted Protectiveness: You would think that becoming so powerful would have made him less afraid of losing you, right? Wrong. Because he is so very aware of the fact that you are his one and only weakness. If you ever died at the hands of someone else he would go insane, maybe even enough to do something drastic. If his darling couldn't live in this world, then what right did anyone else have? Keeping you safe means keeping him safe, and by extension, every mortal life in the realm.

Obsessive, Murderous Jealousy: Astarion loved you, he adored you, and he cared nothing of your past. Or at least...he used to not care. But ever since the ritual he had gotten a certain...itch. He didn't like knowing that other people had experienced the pleasure of your body. It was his. You were always his, even before he knew of you. It was fated in the stars. It bothers him enough to pick up a new hobby, tracking down every single one of your ex-lovers and butchering them. He keeps you in the dark of course, all of his questions about your past framed as curious inquiries, versus helpful hints for finding every last one of them.

Complete Control: In all honesty, despite his words and the harsh punishments he loves it when you try to defy him. Especially when you try to escape. It's never that serious, you're a good pet who just wants some alone time on occasion, always leaving with full intent to come back. But he can't help but think it's adorable when you actually think you've gotten away from him, even if it's just for a night. No, every time you've snuck away he's been there. He doesn't always intervene, sometimes he just likes to watch you interact from the shadows, see what you do without him. He especially loves it when he catches you talking about him, how sweet you remained despite the...changes in your relationship. But sometimes you would do something a little too rowdy, a little too dangerous, or god forbid flirtatious. Though you've gotten so much better about that, especially after Astarion gouged out the eyes of a man who had the nerve to ask you for a dance. In front of you. That certainly did the trick. But that didn't stop him from dragging you home when he thought that you had enough of a taste of "freedom" for one night, kicking and screaming if need be.