#not about my sexuality tho

[of-fandoms]

y'know what it's like when you're aroace and your family seems supportive but then one day someone just goes "and when will you finally get a partner?" and you're just sitting there, not knowing what to say to that because you thought they accepted that that'll never happen so you're just kinda left sitting there with that knot in your stomach that just gets tighter and tighter? And then you consciously think about how you'll never be able to fall in love and how that's fine with you but apparently it isn't for others and you can't understand why this is making you feel all awful inside or why this is even an important topic to begin with because you can't feel these feelings people want you to feel?

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[bastard-heir]

i was pregaming with the boys and my buddy tyler started going off on how cold it was gonna be that night, ribbing me for not bringing a jacket cause "man, you aways get cold!"

i offered to run down the street to my place to grab one, and he just stared at me like an idiot. "why do that when you can just borrow one of mine?"

i thought he'd just toss me one of his hoodies, but he ushered me back to his room and had me try on his leather jackets, watching me like a hawk and critiquing their fit more to himself than to me. "Nah, that one makes your arms look small," "this one falls on your hips weird", "you're swimming in that one, lol".

when he found one he approved of, he pointed me to a mirror in the living room where the rest of the guys were waiting. in my reflection was just some guy. just some guy, standing around with just some other guys, drinking beers and laughing at youtube videos. no too round shoulders or too wide hips or too long sleeves to give him away.

i locked eyes with our buddy jason through the mirror as drove his knuckles into my scalp and smiled, "That's our fucking boy!"

[contagious-watermelon]

i love the visibility and inclusion we aromantics get

[potato-lord-but-not]

I offer to you the ship of Roland Cummings, Delphine Cummings, and Charlie Dowd that has been absolutely rotting my brain and is ripe for Charlie angst. I talk about them a bit here in which I discuss multiple Charlie ships but I must spread the propaganda of them o7

Ohhhhhh despite not really being Roland/Noel girlie I can indeed see the appeal 👀

[lemeduartes]

Tried to tell my Dad about Bi Buck and this is how the conversation went:

Me: DAD! BUCK IS BISEXUAL

Dad: Your friend? Okay (I have a friend who's nickname is DUCK)

Me: what? No, dad, Buck! The firefighter from 911? You watched the show with me, remember?

Dad: OOOOOOOH YEAH I REMEMBER! The actor is bisexual?

Me: No, the character "BUCK" is bi

Dad: Well, you know the actor's PERSONAL LIFE now? He could be bisexual, or gay, or the thing that Deadpool is

Mom entering the kitchen: Who is gay?

Dad: Buck

Mom: Julia's friend? (I'm Julia)

Me: No, mom, the firefighter, he is bi

Mom: You friend is a firefighter?

Me: What? No, I don't know any firefighter. It's the blonde guy in 911, Buck, he is bisexual

Dad: Yes, and the actor may or may not be bi too, but we don't know that!

Mom: ok?

Me: *gives up*

[kairithemang0]

Man, Curt's got internalized homophobia so bad that for the first 3 months of their relationship he was convinced Owen was straight before Owen had to scream it in his face that he was gay and then Curt spent another 3 months still calling himself straight to Owen's face and Owen's so sick of it like Curt you 2 are actively fucking EVERY TIME YOU SEE EACH OTHER. AND YOU ARE VERY CLEARLY INTO IT. YOU ARE NOT STRAIGHT SIR STOP LYING TO YOURSELF

internalized homophobia agent curt mega ily

[jewishcissiekj]

Obi-Wan Kenobi (and Anakin Skywalker) by Adam Hughes

[polaroid-steam-room]

My favorite thing about Bowuigi media is that nobody is inherently homophobic

I swear it always goes something like this:

Mario Cast- Oh! You like men? Wonderful! It doesn’t phase us at all! We support you :)

Luigi- Y-yeah! So, then you guys should know that I’m dating Bowser and-

Cast- what.

[punmster]

being ace means i don't get giggly or horny about omegaverse aka abo but instead become painfully obsessed with details in anatomy and world building

[dreadfuldevotee]

unironically kinda fun how much iwtv for me has been about doing and saying all the fun stuff I was, for various reasons, too shamed to do in other fandoms

[widowshill]

literature on dark shadows will really look at a massive ensemble cast and say um actually the only characters that matter are barnabas quentin and angelique <3

[coquelicoq]

this relationship between the emperor and his favorite concubine is something else. because apparently she was his DAD'S concubine and she reminds him of his mom...he's like you're the only connection i have to my mother (presumably because she was friends with his mom, because they were concubines of the same guy, and because after his mom died she used to take care of him and make him the food his mom used to make him because she "loves children") and i'm sitting there like 😬 ok where are we going with this. then i get to the end of the show and discover they weren't going anywhere with it in particular. they were just like, we want this guy to have a mommy complex and we want you to know about it. okay. thanks i guess...

[loving-jack-kelly]

Davey seems like the kind of person who at one point was very concerned with "knowing himself" and wanted to be able to put a label on things and wore himself out trying to pin himself into a box because he wanted to understand his identity and how it all fit together so he could sum himself up in a few words but after a long time of trying and failing to fit into self-imposed boxes he finally gave up and was like fuck you I'm queer and that's good enough for me.

Jack on the other hand did not think twice about what his sexuality was until he was in a relationship with a guy and now it's a 50/50 shot if he remembers the word bisexual or ambidextrous first (he's both so he's never technically wrong just answering the wrong question)

[xxinkyshadowxx]

Little reminder for the people who forgot Kieran is 14 years old FOURTEEN meaning that any suggestive content of him automatically makes the poster of it weird as fuck ESPECIALLY if they are an adult but even if they are a minor posting suggestive stuff of a fourteen year old is still super weird so maybe don't do that

[epiphainie]

i don't see us getting further information about bucktommy's relationship in 7x10 (like calling each other boyfriends or haphazardly breaking up) simply because i don't think they know what they want to do in season 8 yet. they tested the waters with tommy's first four episodes and brought him back for the last two episodes to establish his presence a bit more but why would they write themselves into a corner with no farsight yet when they could instead leave it at this ambiguously good place which gives them more creative room for s8?

this way they could direct that storyline any way they want depending on what they wanna explore with it - maybe they'll wanna pick it up from the dating stage or it could be that they're established boyfriends once they come back. they could go with tommy being buck's big love or that despite buck wanting to exploring this with tommy it not working out etc. i think they have a lot of more things to consider with buck's romantic arc now, not to mention for how much and how long lou can commit to the show, that they'll want to take their time figuring that all out.