#not a world id wanna live in thats for sure.

[felinedae]

I once heard someone complain about a character being called butch because she was, in the poster's words, "conventionally attractive" and I still think about it sometimes. Hello? Can you hear yourself? Are those words reaching your brain before they come out of your mouth?

[angelliicc]

rush

“nine to nine, you're on my mind all day

you're my world and my sweet escape”

masterlist

a/n: HI GUYS! editor ❌ writer ✅ no fic coming tomorrow or thursday :( sorry. also i almost fell asleep writing this but i drank celsius lol, enjoy!!

warnings: not proofread, fluff, tension

| your phone buzzed with a notification. your phone had been quite dry, but whenever you get a notification you answer it immediately. it was from instagram.

message request from: ellie 💫 accept it?

“hm, whos this?” you thought. no person had dmed you out of the blue before. only close friends and family. “sure, why not?”

after accepting the request, you see the message she left for you.

“hey :)”

you respond back. “hiii”

e: “i dmed you because i saw we have a lot of interests in common, hope you dont mind.”

you needed new mutuals to talk about the same shit you liked, only a handful of people at your school, but they were mostly older.

r: “oh dont worry, i dont mind. so you like the same things as me mostly?”

e: “unless there’s something i dont know about, than yes”

“shes kinda funny” you thought.

r: “lol, i like music, clothes, painting, shopping, sports, all that shit.”

e: “i like sports also, what do you watch?”

r: “basketball, loved it since i was 5”

e: “damn thats for a long ass time. i tried it but its ehh not for me.”

r: “well what do you watch or play?”

e: “soccer, i play and watch.”

r: “nicee. i want to play soccer, but i don’t know how to play lol.”

e: “maybe i can teach you one day.”

shes bold, but you had no complaints about it.

you saw in her bio, she lived in the same area as you. you decided to ask her if you’d like to meet up and get some coffee. you had nothing to do this weekend and wanted to get out of the house anyway.

r: “hey, i saw you’re in the bay? you mind if you wanna get coffee and chat? get to know each other more?”

you pressed send before even thinking twice. “fuck fuck fuck why did i do that? she must think im so annoy-“ until you felt a buzz.

e: “sure, id like that.”

a smile grew on your face.

the next morning you woke up, went to the bathroom to do your 5 step skin care routine. while waiting for your skin to dry, you decided to pick out an outfit. the weather was partly cloudy, so you picked out a pink sweater, a white tank top, and some jeans. you changed, then applied your makeup, making sure everything was going perfect. you did your eyeshadow a baby pink color, with some glitter on the center of your eyelids.

the cafe was around 5 minutes away from your house, so you decided to walk. it was a good dose of vitamin D, and you needed some fresh air.

when you get there, you see her sitting in a chair. she has auburn hair in a mullet, green eyes and freckles on her face. she was wearing sweats, a compression shirt with a button-up short sleeve shirt on top.

you smiled as you sat down, placing your tote bag down. “hi!”

“hey, you look nice.” she replied. the comment caught you off guard, making you immediately flustered.

“thank you.” you said back “you look nice too. wanna order anything? its on me don’t worry.”

“nono i got it, thank you for the offer.” you and ellie went up to the counter placing your orders. ellie ordered an iced americano with a marble cake. you weren’t really hungry, so you just ordered a matcha.

you both sat down at the table and started talking. you both talked like it was your last day on earth. you told each other your personal lives, schooling, etc.

you both talked so much that you guys lost track of time. before you knew it, the sun was starting to set. “wanna see the sunset? lets see if it has pretty colors today.” she asked.

“yess, i love sunsets.” you said. you got your bag, and headed out the door with her. you decided to walk to the local park and watch the sunset.

you both sat down on the grass, enjoying the view. a random wave of drowsiness hit you. before you knew it, your head was on ellies shoulder and you were out like a light.

15 minutes later you wake up from her shoulder, still at the park. the sun had fully set, and you realized what had happened.

“im so sorry, i didn’t mean to.” you said.

“dont worry, i kinda enjoyed it actually.” ellie replied back, soothing your worries.

“yup, shes still bold.” you thought. “this was fun ellie. im gonna head home now, we should do this again sometime.” you told her enthusiastically.

“me too, this was very nice. see you again sometime soon.” she replied.

before you went to bed, you got another message from her.

“goodnight.” ellie said

“goodnight.” you replied back

the next morning, you were bombarded with texts. and you liked it.

for the next 3 days, you both were talking from sun up to sun down, never getting bored. you noticed ellie was being bold and flirting with you. “two can play that game.” you thought to yourself.

e: “i missed you these past couple of days.”

r: “oh really? how bad did you miss me.”

e: “i missed you so much i couldnt stop thinking about you. you’re so beautiful.”

r: “you really have a way with words, yk that right?”

e: “maybe.”

r: “since when are you the flirty type?”

e: “ive always been. why? too much to handle?”

r: “no, i like it. its cute from you.”

e: “when you slept on my shoulder by accident the other day, you had me nervous. in a good way. i wish you just stayed there forever”

r: “its just my touch i have on people. if you miss me so much come over.”

e: “omw.”

10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. you felt a rush of excitement.

you answered the doorbell, seeing her leaning on the doorframe. “did you fly down the highway?” you asked sarcastically. “thats only something i know.” she replied

you both went to your bedroom. it was pink with green vines and fairy lights. cds and posters spread according to match the aesthetic.

you sat on the floor, and ellie sat down on your bed, lying down to your plushies then eventually getting up.

“you’re the only thing ive been thinking about lately.” she started

“is that so? do i make you feel special?” you respond

“i wont lie, you kinda do. everything about you. i love all of it. your eyes, your hair, your style.” she spoke, all saying this while running her fingers through your hair. you felt like you falling, your heart was racing and your stomach was doing flips.

you got up off the floor and sat on the bed. she placed her hand on your knee and started doing circles with her thumbs, letting you get tingles all over your body. you both look at each other, and didnt break eye contact. you were getting nervous, so you started blushing and immediately turned away in embarrassment. “hey!” she said in a playful tone. you both eventually held hands while looking at each others eyes.

“no ones made me feel like this before” you told her.

“good, then let me be the first.” she spoke.

when you looked down she touched your face and kissed your cheek. you felt satisfied, and your whole face felt red. her soft kisses on your skin felt so relaxing. the feelings you both have kept hidden from the moment you say each other were about to become transparent.

the tension between you both was louder than any words ever spoken before. you both looked at each others lips, and started kissing, becoming drunk in each other. her taste of love was so special and sweet. so sweet that it made you dizzy. you felt like a spell was casted upon the both of you, like you could stay up all night, and never be tired. love felt so easy in that moment, and it made you want more of her. you both couldn’t get enough of each other, wanting to feel each others rush.

the touch of each other made it seemed like it lasted forever. she pulled away from your lips.

“can i be your girlfriend?” she asked you.

fuck, she did have a way of her words. the words themselves can make you levitate from the thoughts of her.

“you dont know how long ive been waiting for that question.” you told her. “absolutely.”

just as you were running out of love, you found the person you needed the most.

hours and hours what do I do now? baby

with no clue, i need you quickly

i need to feel your rush, drive me crazy and I know

i just can't get enough.

[leclsrc]

hi auds!! it's my birthday today ;) i never send reqs i know you get a whole ton of them but if you ever got around to this- i think the f1 fic world has a very worrying lack of aus. so could i get a band!charles au drabble where he writes a song about reader and she hears it on the radio? any song you like. reader could be driver or something or connected to f1 if thats cool !!! thank you sm!! i love you

knee socks – cl16

There’s a certain inevitability that comes with having sex with a misaligned, conceited lead guitarist of a band. You aren’t aware of this fact until it hits you in-between your brows with the force of an 18-wheeler truck, at 8AM, through the radio in your car.

genre: drabble... lots of smutty allusions

auds here... happy birthday anon, one month and then some later! to be completely honest i almost deleted this... but through some twist of fate, it was the only thing i could bully into completion lol (aside frm long form fics that i'm still working on) this is 1000% for u and i hope u accept it as a belated bday gift :) i agree btw! id love to see more au fics but it is still nice reading the canon compliant type ones hahah. also the song in this and its and title is of course from this

It was surprising enough to hear an announcement of a new single by The Incident, one that seemingly sprouted out of nowhere, sans promotion. The morning BBC show clobbered the song with theories before finally letting the drawled-out, sticky guitar filter through and into your car. That in itself was odd, sure. Maybe shocking a little. But you leaned into the leather seat and remained quiet.

When you were fifteen, you were convinced the lyrics to Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl” pinned up perfectly to your (insufferable) personality of the time. Raised in a big family and working in a career of refined prestige, your budding skill and already-cemented name in the modeling industry were just two small indicators of your parents’ massive wealth. Of course, neither Hall nor Oates were actually sitting and writing songs and singing about you—you just found it made sense in one way or another.

That was three years before you met Charles three years ago, at a pub in Soho. His band had only just spilled out of the confines of Soundcloud and seedy managers; they’d broken five million monthly listeners and the throng of people were there to watch them live. You were at the pub for a pint with another friend and left him with your number, a slip of paper tinged with beer; he fished out the nearest surface you could write on from a nearby bowl. Do I Wanna Know? it read in rushed cursive. It was a song request that went unfulfilled.

Rumors flew in your circle. Your father soured at the idea of you seeing somebody he wasn’t actively doing business with, but he failed to realize how limited your dating pool would be if you followed his wishes. Your interactions with the Formula One men he sponsored or worked with, however few and far between, were rancid and impolite. The drivers wore expensive brands, ones that didn’t even fall familiar on people’s ears, but refused to tip beyond three pounds. It came as both a shock and no surprise that the nouveau rich rock singer treated you with more decency than any of them did.

He was shy about it first, knowing how filthy rich you were. He made jokes about how his flat could fit in your kitchen twice over. He spoke what little French he remembered from childhood to impress you, paid for takeout, wore Lacoste when he came over to drink—then fuck—because it was, at the time, the most decent brand he owned. It’d been January when he came over, caught a sight of you at the foyer with all your expensive coats hung up. Your tongue was blue with a lozenge. It was the only thing he could look at while fucking you.

He wore a light blue variant once, fit and snug on him. You wrestled it off him in-between hot, sweet kisses, kept it on your bed so it’d be the first thing you tugged on in the morning before a shoot for a brand you can no longer place.

The last time you saw him he’d shown you lyrics, sang them aloud, drummed the beat he thought of on the skin of your thigh. His accent disappeared into rasp and notes. You told him to perform it live and he fucked you splayed up against your door, bent over your counter, then with your knees pressed to your chest on your white sheets, warm from the laundry. S’good for me, aren’t you, princess? All for me. My filthy girl.

Two hours later: I’m going on tour, sweetheart, he’d said while he cleaned you up.

’Til? Or… like, for long? Naked, you wrapped your blanket around your frame.

Ah, oui. For a while. 

You failed to answer amicably, your eyebrows twisting. You didn’t think to tell me? Just up and leave then? No number, no text, no announcement, just— You exhaled tightly. You knew he didn’t owe you anything of the sort; the sex, you guessed, the company had been so good you’d deluded yourself into thinking so.

Kitten—

Don’t call me that, you huffed, angrier now. Petulant. You got up and crowded him ’til you got to the door. Get the fuck out.

You watched him leave, brown leather jacket and black tee disappearing into London, and wrenched memories of him from the depths of your brain, the two years of your back and forth rendezvous. You wondered why you didn’t get a song in that time, after his ascent to fame, after the release of other hit singles inspired by his bandmates’ gossip rags and measly shags.

So a year later, when the memories have just begun to purge themselves—when the lyrics, which already have sent a swoop through your stomach, progress into the line When you walked around your house wearin' my sky blue Lacoste… and your knee socks, you effectively choke on your a.m. cappucino. It’s like “Rich Girl” all over again, but this is overt, it’s targeted. Like whoever wrote it must’ve known you’d be listening right now, en route to a shoot at eight in the morning.

“All good, miss?” Ed, your chauffeur, meets your eyes in the rearview, concerned.

“Perf—” your voice cracks. “Perfect.”

You screw your eyes shut and try to collect yourself, zeroing in on the lyrics that’d been foggy before.

Curing his January blues—the month you two started sleeping together.The fact that he’d had your number, a famous stranger, before you had his. Every beat, every word, every deep-voiced lyric traces back to you (unless, of course, he’s busying himself shagging any other girl in London on rainy Tuesdays and letting her wear his now-old polos. The thought sends a pang of jealousy through you.)

But you know better. You know you’re the only one.

Because your phone’s the only one buzzing late into the damp night—when the zeroes line up on the clock by your bed, the one he fixed up for you—with a number you’ve removed the name of, blocked at some point, but can still memorize in his absence.

Maybe tonight you’ll pick up.

[gamerchrissgf]

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐩𝐞𝐚┇𝐂.𝐒

𝘱𝘵1. 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘴.

⌈after a lifetime of being ignored, and the death of her father, taking out her rage against the world the only way she knows how - murder.⌉

⌈pairing⌉ Chris Sturniolo x Sweetpea!reader.

⌈warnings!⌉ mentions of death, killing, drinking, smoking, smut (in later parts)

a/n: in my sweetpea era. I recommend watching it first before reading this lol. I dont wanna spoil anything. Its the same story line but like my own twist to it, and some similarities too. its been pretty good so far. so this is soley inspired off the show with also my own twist.

‘People id love too kill…’ you thought. Sitting on the back of the bus between two men, man spreading ‘Men that lack human decency. Lindsey from the corner store who was never really happy to help’ flashing back to the memory.

“Just these please” you announced, barely noticed by her as she smacks her gum with headphones in “Right and I told her she couldn’t get mad at me just because her man wanted me.” She tells her friend over the phone.

‘My shitty boss. For failing to acknowledge my work, justin from work. For his lack of spacial awareness. Actually everyone from work ’ another flashback hits you. “Night!” You say enthusiastically just to be ignored by your boss and fellow employees.

‘My mom for leaving us and never telling us where she went’ flashbacks of you and your sister standing with your father begging your mother not to leave. Pulling yourself out of your daze you look down at your phone at your long list of messages to your sister typing an ‘I miss you’ message and hitting send.

‘My sister for leaving me on read.. on the phone and in life.’ You continue thinking. The man beside you spreads his legs wider knocking you out of your trance. “Im sorry but do you mind closing your legs a little? Im already squished” you ask the man. He just scoffs.

‘My dad. For dying.’ Its not like it was his fault for dying. But he left me completely stranded. On my own. Sure I just turned 21 but im all alone now. My sister leaving me to live with her fiancé in California.

‘My old high school bully. Who made me invisible in school and in life. Christopher Sturniolo. Fucking Christopher Sturniolo. Who made my life a living hell.’ Flashbacks of you walking down the hall. You getting shoved into a locker just for the fucking asshole to laugh with his friends “guys I think I just bumped into a ghost” another time being you being at your locker, he walks over with his friends leaning against the locker by yours “guys did you hear that y/n died? Not like anyone would miss the girl anyways” he announces “I’m not dead I’m literally right here” you say in a hushed manner just for him and his friends to shove past you laughing.

Who subjected me to an endless cycle of psychological abuse. Destroying my self-worth and general context of the world. “Oh my god, do you guys smell that?! It smells like rotting flesh!” He says “shes so fucking weird.” One of his friends chime in. Christopher Sturniolo, for making me pull so much of my hair out, that I had to wear a wig. Christopher Sturniolo, for turning me into a ghost.

Making me forever invisible, and afraid.

*itty bitty time skip*

“We gather here today in honor of the late David Sharp. Who was not only a son to the lovely Barbara sharp. But a father to his two beloved daughters Jasmine and y/n Sharp……” the pastor says as he brutally mispronounces your name. “Thats not my name…” you whisper “hush.” Your sister says nudging you with her knee. “A man of many talents, a man of many friends, a man of many loving employees” you turn looking towards Aj giving him a small wave, just for a little head nod in response.

You’ve known Aj for roughly 2 years. Him working as an assistant to your father. You guys have also hooked up quite a few times. The last time being 2 weeks before your fathers passing. You’ve texted Aj in your down time. Mainly when you’ve felt lonely. Just to receive shit ass responses.

Y/n:

Hey… do you maybe wanna come over tonight?

Watch a movie or something?

Aj:

Cant. W the boys.

Y/n:

Oh okay!

Maybe some other time!

Aj:

👍🏼

Before you know it the funeral is over and your standing out front with your sister. Thanking people for coming. You hear a group of guys laughing. ‘Who the fuck laughs at a funeral?’ Looking towards the laughter you see him. “What is he doing here?!” You ask your sister. “Him and his brothers came back to pay respects to dad. Since Jim was a close friend of dad’s…” she says

“Matt, Nick, Chris thank you guys for coming!” She says giving the three boys a hug. You stood there with your head low. “Of course sorry for your loss. I cant Imagine how hard it must be for you guys right now…… hey y/n” Nick says while returning the hug to your sister and patting your arm gently. “How have you been kiddo?” Matt asks. You feel his eyes on you. Looking up you see chris staring at you. “Well my dad died so…” you say “y/n dont be weird” your sister says while nudging your arm. You start messing with the stands of your hair on the back of your neck

It is weird though. You haven’t seen the triplets since you all graduated high school. You getting a normal job at you local newspaper office and them moving to L.A. to be youtubers. I mean of course you guys always had dinners at each other’s house due to your parents being high school friends and your sister being best friends with Matt.

Probably because they’ve also dated in high school for about 10 months. Breaking it off because they both decided being friends would be much easier “You’re not still doing that are you?” Chris asks. Snapping you out of your thoughts you quickly move your hand letting out a small gasp. You look at him before excusing your self and walking away.

“Hey… Ive tried looking for you… when did you start smoking?” She asks with a disgust look on her face. “Since dad died. Only thing helping me stay focused. It was good catching up” you say. “Yea I havent seen the boys in ages. Ive missed them… So ive been thinking we need to sell the house y/n” Jas says breaking the silence “and dads business probably” she adds. “What? B-but I live in the house Jas.” You stammer out. “There are other houses.” She says bluntly

“Well Tom and I wanna buy a place for the kids and us so…” she says “why dont you move back? We could be like a little family!” You try to lift the mood. “Are you serious?” She asks rolling her eyes. “Its settled. Chris is helping. He has a friend in real estate so its final” she says looking down at her phone “Jas no. You cant. Not him.” You say as she cuts you off getting into the back of her uber “lets talk about this later okay? Ill call you… hey the boys are going to luckys tonight for a reunion drink. You should go.” She says trying to make you feel better

“Are you serious?” You ask “what?” She asks “he pretended like he was better than me. Did you not hear what he said to me. He hates me.” You ramble on. “Who chris? Maybe he doesnt. This could be good for you, ya know? A new start?” She says “well dads dead so” you state clearly annoyed and mad at everything thats happened in the past 10 minutes “yea I know. He was my dad too. You need to get over this whole Chris thing. Go to Luckys you might actually enjoy yourself.” She says rolling up the window as the car pulls off.

*another itty bitty time skip brought to you by yours truly*

‘There is no fucking way I actually showed up to this.’ You thought standing outside of the pub. Already a few glasses of wine in. You dont want to be labeled as a lightweight but you just turned 21 so ofc you’d get drunk easily not participating in underage drinking and high school parties.

Walking into the pub, you see many people. Some old cliques from school. Then you see him. Having that liquid courage and already leaving heated voicemails on your sister’s phone you stomp your way over to him.

“Christopher! CHRIS!” You yell grabbing onto his arm. “I need you to fuck off and stay out of my life” you say grabbing onto his forearm pulling him towards you “Oh hey y/n… are you good? Do you need some water?” He says with a smug grin on his face. “No I dont need fucking water I need you to fuck off!” You say “I have no idea what your talking about kid.” He says stepping towards you. Leaving little to no space between the both of you.

“You know exactly what im talking about! You ruined my life in high school you made my life a living fucking hell. My dads dead. Your selling my house! And now your ruining my life again!” You yell. Drawing attention from Matt and Nick as they walk over “Hey y/n… you dont look too good right now. Are you drunk do you need a ride home?” Matt asks “No what I need is for Chris to fuck off and stop ruining my life!” You yell tears welling up in your eyes. “Listen kid. I didnt give a shit about you in high school and I dont give a shit about you now. So all your shitty life problems thats on you. Get the fuck off me.” He says shoving you back.

“Hey are you-” you cut Nick off snatching your arm away from him stumbling out of the pub. Walking across the road a man bumps shoulders with you causing you to stumble some more. You walk down a flight of stairs that lead to a creek under an overpass. Sitting there lost in thought you dig through your purse finding your dads old pocket knife. “Lifes shit without you.” You mumble.

You get lost in thought when a man comes up behind you, taking a piss on the wall and hitting you with his piss “hey! What the fuck?! Did you not see me sitting here?!” You yell at the man “Oh shit sorry sweetpea didnt see you sitting there.” He says chuckling as he turns around to walk off.

Clearly still pissed off with your interaction with Chris and at the man that just pissed on you. You walk up behind him kicking him in the back of the leg “Do you see me now?!” You yell at the man “what the fuck, oh your in some shit now” he says walking towards you. Walking back your back hits the railing and hes getting to close to you.

With the knife in hand you jab it towards his stomach “Ah fuck! You fucking cut me! My favorite shirt! You ruined it! Your so done!” As he steps towards you, your mind goes blank as you jab him in the neck. The man falls to the ground and you straddle him as you stab him repeatedly “do you see me now?! Huh?! Now do you see me! Do you see me now!” Watching the life fade from his eyes you snap back into reality.

“Ohh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” You say with panic in your eyes. Dropping the knife looking down at your body. Your covered in the mans blood you can taste it on your lips. In a rush you push the mans body into the creek picking up the knife. You look down at your outfit again zipping up your rain coat and pulling up the hood making a beeline straight to your home.

Walking into your home and hurriedly locking the door you run straight to your bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror. Closing your eyes you get a flashback from your last conversation with your father.

“What happened here?” He says pointing at your hand “oh nothing, justin just bumped into me” you say “you need to stop letting people piss all over you kid. You need to be more ‘RAHR!’ You know?” He says. Shaking your head you open your eyes looking into the mirror.

“RAAAAAAAAHRRRRR” you scream.

a/n: pt 1 wooo. It feels long and ive skipped a lot of parts from the show but I swear this is just the beginning. Pt2 idk when we’ll see how this does. My hands just hurt from all the typing lol.

[arolegos]

@fiberturkey89 OK HI i love treating ninjago charactes like my oc so heres the umm explanation for my morro design!!! YAP SESSION under cut cause i dont wanna flood ppl with my yapping ...

ok so to me he was a member of the cloud kingdom!!! i know this is a somewhat popular headcanon although im not sure who first came up with it. i just wanted a reason to make him look cool at first

every different realm and region has a majority species . To me . i could go on and on about each one that i Made up but for now i will focus on the CK species (plus euphrasia for additional um. idk. context?)

idk what id call the species name. ill just call them Writers . for now. Ummm as u can see i believe that their species has a LOT of wings. like a whole bunch. each person can have up to like 3 colours for their wings, with white being the main one. the colours don't have meaning Yet but idk . they're mostly whatever colour i think fit best with their character .

they also got Eyes on their wings . this would be the tertiary colour (or the same colour as secondary) . they have a Lot of feathers on their body (neck-chest, arm-wrist, around knee-ankle). They also have . featheered tails . Ok that's about as much as ill detail for their species bc i do have madeup culture for them But i don't want this to turn into a 9 paragraph yap session . I will focus on morro now

MORRO FAKE LORE! WOOHOO!!

ok so in the world where hes my oc. he was a part of the writers of destiny (or rather one in training but he lived in the cloud kingdom nonetheless) . anyways . he didn't really like the life there bc he always wanted to be More than just a writer of destiny. he wanted to be there to experience the damn thing himself, but that obviously wasn't allowed in the cloud kingdom (bc . well. u can see that theyre kinda strict on their rules (one destiny one path sort of thing or whatever) . so he eventually gets kicked out after enough misdemeanours (so probably he misbehaved like One time) . anyways they bound him to a flightless life (bc . flying was . well. a pretty big thing in a community full of people who have wings all over their body) and exiled him to Ninjago .

he cant fly back home so he doesn't. not that he would anyway. this is why he keeps his wings folded/closed almost all the time. they do not serve any purpose. he would love to chop them off if he could

he makes a few friends on the streets but theyre hardly 'friends' in the natural sense of that word.

also. in a fucked up twist of the world, he ends up being the elemental master of wind.

(this ones connected to another thing i also made up but if the Ninjago writers get to forget things and make things up at random So Can I; anyways my point is that wojira was defeated by Nyad . who was one of the two elements that matched the um amulet thing. and since she transformed into the sea i cant imagine the first EM of wind was just like Oh well okay then i guess its all over. In my mind they became one with the wind too and was probably from an even higher plane than the cloud kingdom but their powers ended up there anyway . Taken by some. Freak.)

around this time is when he meets wu and stuff. u know everything that happens from here so i will not be retelling shit but i am sooo adamant on them Not being father and son sorry. or at the very least i think it was only one-sided . i think wu wanted company and morro reminded him of a younger version of his older brother . thought of him as a 'son' bc thats the only way he could really see him. whereas morro thought wu was some stinky old man who was nice. very nice and sweet to him. promised him a destiny bigger than himself. but not a father. what even is a father? he does not see that in wu sorry . tgey will never be father and son to me . that relationship dynamic is too simple for the complexity of their relationship

yeagh well wu 'lied' about his destiny (I mean . of cours i dont actually think that way. wu kind of Had no way to tell if he really was destined to be the green ninja although It is kinda Freaked up to suggest it to a like. 10 year old. i guess he did learn his lesson . ) and morro was like Fuck u i choose my own destiny . And left and died. ok yea this is all stuff u already knew

(also i imagine he went looking for FSM's tombstone (aka he was Really just looking for the realm crystal) so he could go back home . to rewrite his own destiny. to be like Yeah i actually AM the green ninja and you cant stop me.)

okkokokk this is a bit graphic cause. believe it or not. morro dies. so like. i will be describing that a little

annywaayyyysss morro goes to the cave of despair and. gets lost. falls a bunch. at some point he realises hes like completely lost as in like to the point of no return . and while hes panicking there are Fuckinf geysers gushing out and rumbling the damn ground. he falls but he doesn't die immediately. he breaks his wings first though. not that they would've helped him fly out. but im just explaining why his wings look so wilted and like theyre just 'hanging off' in his ghost design. its bc they r. those are broken wings that cannot move naturally . he cannot keep them folded bc they are broken

his cause of death was thirst . starvation was a factor too but like. thirst got his ass first (as it would anyone). he ripped his sleeves while venturing around the cave but he did use some to try and wrap around his wounds . didn't really Help tho cause he died anyway .

Extra fucked up fake lore ? Writers have feathered tails that fall off to impending doom. as a final play on a destined fate (Dying!!!! LOL!!!!). so like days before morro dies the feathers of his tail fall off one by one until there are None left . if it makes it any better it doesn't hurt like a broken bone . just imagine if one day you woke up to your.? idk? leg gone? like it didn't hurt its just gone and you can feel that its gone but not the pain of the loss. if u get what i mean. or maybe thats not the right comparison. idk. your hair i guess?

. in his last moments his thoughts are not of any happy memories Because he straight up has none sorry gang i dont want him happy. Ok kidding im sure he thought of wu. im sure part of him wished wu had come after him. im sure a part of him wished he hadn't stepped into the cave. but i also Believe he probably welcomed death pretty nicely. with a warm hug and all. he probably leapt into that mfs arms.

anywaygsss . he gets sent to the cursed realm (Whicg is crazy im not going to lie but apparently he did a bunch of crazy shit while looking for the FSM's tomb so. maybe deserved. i dont know.) and the preeminent is like Yooo what is this freak doing here . Do my taxes. and morro is like Ok but u have to curse some realms. And the preeminent is like Yeah i already planned on doing that

also its only BC he went to the cursed realm that his wings are black in his ghost form!!! it looks more decayed and Cursed that way

ok yeah thats all the stuff i made up i think . unless i missed something. i dont think i did

also Lloyd would not have had his wings while he was being possessed . he only had like traces of them (ghost feathers would fall off his back when he moved but they weren't /actually/ there . it confused the fuck out of the ninja the first time. they were like Woah your voice got deeper. Why are you shedding feathers.)

morro is my favourite fucked up evil OC im so thankful they didn't give him a redemption arc thank yiu so much i love it when villains refuse to be redeemed even when given the chance im cheering adn clapping. morro never get revived. thank you.

[find-me-in-hell]

DWS14E06

spoilers below cut

holy fuck okay. i need to know who rogue is ASAP insert the obligatory they keep killing suzie joke. god indira they will NOT let u live will they. of course the chuldars just wanna have fun and cosplay their way through history + to the end of the world thats so fucked as a concept. ruby equally cosplaying back its giving clara a la face the raven - doing something clever but ultimately stupid. I lowkey lived emily shame about yknow. Everything. jesus fuck of course they kissed. trying not to be pissed over that as a lesbian and 13 lover. ough the ruby almost death + the 'ill keep her safe i promise' killed me the same way bill gets shot + 'just promise you wont get me killed' did. rogue kissing him as a distraction to take the thing, like OUGH and then taking her place Holy Fuck. rogues gotta be someone more relevant surely because wow! who kisses like that and then lowkey mourns the guy after knowing him a couple of hours. dare i say rogue is a returning character but we just dont know who??? of course id love a new character but idk something about it felt more??? i mean the 'would you lose a friend to save the world? / no / i know' like theres gotta be history there surely????? sorry i fear i got too invested in rogue NOT TO MENTION the episode is literally called rogue theres SOMETHING THERE OH OH THE RING CAN SOMEONE GET A GOOD PICTURE OF IT

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

in honor of world mental health day heres my story below the cut :)

kinda hard to talk abt this cause its somewhat triggering and ik theres gonna be ppl who think im just an emo 15 y/o, but i swear im not tryna be dramatic. im tryna make peace with my past, and also show others that despite everything, you can make it.

also, im tryna show that healing isnt all sunshine and daises. theres the good, the bad, and the ugly. you can and will survive it all

tw: sewerslide attempt, abusive parents, self harm, violence ig ?

ive died two times in my life so far.

the first time, it was my parents who killed me. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am. i remember dragging across the hallway in my house, a throbbing sensation in my thigh, the mark already turning purple. i walked past my younger sisters' room, where my cousin was sleeping over with them, and i remember climbing into bed, hugging my pillow, crying against the pillow. that night, it was my innocence that died. my childhood happiness, per se. i remember swearing to myself in those final moments before darkness that id never forget that day. december 31st, 2020, ~1.15am.

the time between my two deaths was filled with barely anything other than self loathing. i remember trying to set goals for myself, reasons to live. i tried out new hobbies. i was never able to meet those goals, and all the hobbies bored me.

i met some of the best people ever during that time. i also met some of the worst. i might sound dramatic, cause im young and impressionable, but the people i met during that time genuinely shaped who i am. i dont wanna act like im an old soul or anything, cause im sure that in a few years imma look back and think, "shit, i was really immature." but i matured faster than others my age. i found myself faster, found things i liked, found love, found out i hated being in love.

and then i died again.

this was a recent death. june 22, 2023. my mental health had been deteriorating for months prior – i still have scars on my arms.

it was a slower death compared to the last one. i started dying at around 4.00pm. it went on for an hour before the pain became unbearable and i confessed to my parents. i didnt want to go to the hospital, i was scared of what theyd do. i threw up seven times before giving in at about 8.00pm. they took me to the hospital. i was told told me i was lucky to be alive, that my liver was still functional. i didnt feel lucky. i felt like death wouldve been less painful. my head was spinning

i died in that hospital bed, at ~9.40pm, with my eyes wide open, my mom sitting near me. my thoughts at the time were along the lines of this:

im quite literally a child in the eyes of the world. ive done nothing. i have a psychology exam tomorrow. i have a book im halfway done writing, and a new story thats been brewing in my head for months. but if i die now, ill never get to finish any of that. ill never succeed. ill never be able to spit in the faces of the girls who bullied me, of the teachers who doubted me. why would i do this to myself? why would i rob myself of that chance?

so i died. but not the same way as last time. this time, it was the poisonous me that died, the me that whispered in my ear that my life would amount to nothing, that everyone else had it better, that you either succeed or you dont.

and when i died the second time, something happened that didnt happen the first time.

i was reborn.

at the time of me writing this, its been less than four months since my rebirth. in those four months:

i decided to change the world somehow. not necessarily by finding the cure to cancer or anything, id be satisfied if it was just a cute lil video i made going viral. as long as theres someone out there who i changed

i finished about six chapters of my book

i began writing the story that had been brewing in my head

i started lifting weights to make myself feel better abt how i looked

i got closer to god. stopped missing prayer

i moved schools, leaving behind both bullies and friends

i started focusing on my studies

i tried to fix my relationships with my parents and my siblings

dont get me wrong. none of these are completed. im still an extreme case of nobody-ness. i havent finished writing either of my stories. i still skip out on working out a lot i still only do the bare minimum in terms of religion. im still struggling to catch up in school to make up for my three years of burnout. my relationship with my family is still kinda weird

and i still feel like im dying sometimes. its not like i changed overnight and all those suicidal thoughts and feelings of drowning just disappeared when the sunrays came up. theres still a lot of issues in my life.

but i have faith in myself. in my ability to change the things that can be changed. in creating happiness where theres room for it to be made.

and if finding happiness a losing battle?

well, ill fight like its the fucking boudican revolt.

[fictionfixations]

can i just say

you know those transmigrater(?) grator?? i odnt. i dont know the terms for this man

but you know the the the. transmigrates into usually the villain kinda stories?

you know whats my favorite for that kinda stuff? where we were the actual character all along (i think its.. regressor...? ??? either going back into your past as yourself or living another life and then backtracking to a past life of yours that being of generally the villain? idont know if thats what it actually means)

ive also never seen it but i just. think its really cool. and i like reading fics where theyre the same person

in the same way i like it when they have motives. let me be clear, ive NEVER seen the source material so i have no idea whats canon and whats not

but you know what id like to think is canon? shen jiu being a former slave and being super bitter at the world for being very cruel and thats why hes an asshole in like. book canon.(? canon. of. the book. ..in the story.? i think the the the book in that one is like Proud Immortal Demon Way...? IDK man)

or like like. og cale henituse acting like trash because he cares about his siblings and doesnt want negative attention on them also dont know if thats canon. but yknow what? thats my canon

now about time travel in general since it kind of relates, romance is always iffy because its like you know everything that'll make this person fall in love with you. or like, theres an age gap now, and it might not bother them but its not like they know. i know. (its worse if youre like back in your teenage years while youre already an adult cause at that point it feels a little gross)

its that sort of discrepancy(?)

so like. i dont like that there needed to be an entirely new person to be in that body to make change or do things for the better or make everyone like that person

it feels like a cop out.

and also people believing that that person suddenly changed for the better when they arent that person at all???

which. ow.

maybe thats my bad. maybe im secretly an apologist for them, idk, maybe im projecting

but like idk man. the world telling you youre not enough so someone else ends up in your body and then fixes literally every issue in the world (and everyone liking this 'version' of you better). like ow me heart

in all fairness the og's wouldn't have knowledge of the book they're living in??? which is why the transmigrator can do so much

but. THUS. new life AS the transmigrator, then regressing(?) back into their past life with that new knowledge. and probably character growth cause maybe they experience what being loved is like (familial. imagine how cruel itd be to have a lover then one day waking up in a past life of yours that you can only associate as cruel and punishing, and you genuinely cant be sure if that person was made up or not. like was it just a dream? also 'oh god the people i thought mightve been dead are alive')

tbh though it might be because while op time traveling shenanigans (or anything in between) is cool with me, i also like the angsty time travel of 'when i look at them, i keep seeing their dead faces'

of 'how do you know this' (accusatory, 'are you a traitor?')

of also grudges and stuff

but also. more character growth refacing trauma theyve faced before

also maybe probably very much selfish because they kindaa probably just wanna protect their family and will do anything to do so (and thus embrace the 'villain' part that people think of them as)

i dont know if im making sense anymore

now LET ME BE CLEAR i dont like that shen jiu hit his students and shit and was a huge asshole and its not going to suddenly go away. but. its acknowledging what you did wrong, making up for it, but knowing that it'll still stay there. that he still did it even if he deeply regrets it and even if everyone forgives him. because i really dont know in what situation itd be okay to be hit? and also that hopefully hes not that person anymore, but that he wont hide it and will own up to it as a thing he did and shouldnt have done.

anyway i dont know what og cale did besides act like trash but its either the fics im reading are downplaying it or like. thats really it. i have no clue. but still the same thing. if he did some horrible thing, ABOVE.

i just like redemption. and revenge stories. and character growth-ing.

and maybe thats on me for liking villain-ish characters. (im saying villain-ish though because supposedly og cale didnt play a huge part in the book? ....Birth of a Hero...?????? like he just happened, got beat up, and dipped? i think? thats what ive heard anyway. so i dont know if he really counts as one since like uh. white star.????????? ????)

anyway uh thought dump over

feel free to correct me in comments i like learning about things

[goldenageofwireless]

wait can u give me a quick rundown of ur ocs… so i can ask questions abt them 👀

yes ofc !!!! OK SO. My guy that im like hyperfixated on right now is Emil, he's a mad scientist guy and he SUCKS. basically he's just always been a pain in the ass since he was born and never really made an effort to be a better person. Also he's really fucking smart. He ends up getting really famous and wealthy cuz he invented something really cool (still hammering out deets on this, i like the idea of some kinda neural implant or advanced surveillance tech tho). He enjoys living in luxury but hates the constant attention, so one day he decides to abandon it all and isolate himself in his lab in rural Louisiana. He stays in isolation for like 5 or so years and gets soooo depressed. and keeps thinking gay thoughts about his former lab partner .... (i'll get to them in a bit) he just kinda ignores All That and keeps working. Until his lab partner shows up at his door and is like DUDE YOUR INVENTION CAUSED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD. and then they go on a lil road trip together to stop the Big Bad and Emil learns to stop sucking so much and take accountability for his actions :3 also heres a doodle i did of him recently <3

[ID: a digital drawing of op's character, Emil, visible from the waist up. Emil is a fat, white man with messy orange hair. He is wearing a white, short-sleeved lab coat, black gloves, and a purple button-up shirt. The shirt is unbuttoned a bit, and his cleavage is visible. He has green goggles on his head, and he's wearing colored contact lenses. His left eye is green, and his right is purple. He's frowning and glancing to the right/end ID] so Sahir !! They were Emil's lab partner in grad school. They're a botanical psychologist (some shit i made up, they're researching the cognitive abilities of plants). They've always been the quiet, out of the way, people-pleaser type. Emil kept them around bc they just went along with whatever he did. ANYWAY they always kinda had a crush on Emil and even when he ditched them when he got famous, they didn't stop thinking of him </3 So when shit goes down bc of his big fuckup they go find him and basically don't leave him alone until he gets off his ass and fixes it. They're still not really comfortable with standing up to him, so they just keep letting him be a dick to them until they just. have enough and totally snap. and that's kinda the inciting incident that makes Emil realize how much of a dick he is and why thats Bad actually. So Sahir's whole personal journey is basically unlearning their people-pleaser mentality and gaining confidence in themself <3 SO theyre the only two that really have a solid storyline at this point, i have a few misc guys ill drop tho :) ok so first up there's Mal (short for Malpractice Lawsuit), she's basically liiiike if u took the concept of capitalistic greed and made it into a lesbian robot <3 shes evil and she sucks and shes sooo hot and i wanna write her into emil and sahir's storyline but im not sure how atm !! but perhaps i will figure it out eventually !! and theres Marvin, he's a lil guy robot and my fav oc :3 he's just small and silly and also a genius who does Epic Cool Hacking Stuff but hes also an 8 year old who eats dirt then theres Hugo and Vicki, theyre cool and gay :) Hugo is the most anxious man alive (also hes from boston) and Vicki is a demon who just decided that xey like him and they hang out. not much story there they just kiss each other a lot

so yah !!! thats my guys !!!

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

what am i if not an artist?

i havent been able to create anything at all recently. nothing good anyways. its weird i used to create big gorgeous pieces of art almost daily but now i can barely bring myself to doodle anything, im not sure what happened. i think it may just be me getting older, im more critical of myself and i dont have the time or energy to create anything anymore. its sad really. im not really good at school, im not extremely attractive, im bad at sports and i dont really have any other talents or anything all i was ever really good at all at was art. im an artist. its a fundamental part of who i am and how i view the world. i see the world through shapes, lines, colors, textures, contrasts i see the world as a huge piece of art. now i cant create anything in it. when i had my whole NAHS induction thingy a part of the pledge stood out to me, "i promise to leave this world more beautiful than when i came into it" (thats not word for word but it was something like that). id like to live by that. that i will put beautiful things in this world in the hope that maybe it will help someone somewhere. i fear im losing my art. losing myself really. ive always wanted my art in a museum. any museum, small, big, local, famous doesnt matter just somewhere where it might help someone. i love museums i wanna work in one one day. i fear though that this art rut will last and i wont be able to create anything good again. i used to make portraits, comics, landscapes, collages, paintings, drawings you name it i made it and id do at least one daily but now my sketchbooks sit collecting dust. if im not an artist anymore than what am i? art has been so ingrained in who i am. ive always been an artist since i was little. now? theres a hole where my creativity should be. it makes me sad and confused. why cant i make anything anymore? i want to but i just cant. its a weird feeling, almost like theres something wrong with me. something is off. i find myself comparing myself to other artists too and i feel behind. like my art looks so much less clean and good than my classmates. i want to be an artist, my hands want to create, my mind is overflowing with ideas but there is something in me thats making me unable to put all of this to use. i am an artist. i love art. i love creating. i just cant for some reason. i know art doesnt have to be "good" but mine does.

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Idk if you know but Izutsumi is actually 17. It's not stated in canon but it's in the adventures guide so

oh huh i had no idea... i know falin must be 20 cause laios said hes 23 and im p sure they are 3 years apart, and laios said tallmen/humans however u wanna call them reach adulthood at 16 but idk if he meant his country or the race as a whole, so im not sure if that makes izutsumi a minor or not? also idk if it changes due to her being beastkin?

i mean ofc from our perspective she would be, but this is a fantasy setting w different ages of maturity, for example chilchuck said halflings reach adulthood at 14, due to their shorter lifespans, im just curious if for izutsumi adulthood would also be 16 like laios or if maybe eastern standards in the world of dunmeshi is different?

If it's the same, while she's not a minor that is still a three year age gap for izutsumi and falin, with izutsumi barely being an adult, add to that the fact idk how old marcille is or when she wouldve reached adulthood, i can see ur concern.

ill leave them out due to the blurred lines there, but in general i think its important to remember fantasy people dont necessarily age the same way we do, if beastkin age anywhere as fast as halflings, at 17 izutsumi would be older than a 17y/o tallman. thats all hypothetical ofc, and not really an attempt to justify the age difference, more so genuine curiosity about how ages work for her since idk if thats established? im still shocked a 29y/o halfling is old enough to have 3 adult kids for example, but then again they live an average of 50 years so it makes sense? I think the differences are really interesting! because despite only being 6 years apart, chilchuck is inherently a lot older than laios due to their racial traits and customs. Laios is a young adult and chilchuck is more like a middle aged man. Meanwhile, to Senshi and Marcille, 29 sounds like a baby, which means a 29y/o elf or dwarf would probaably be perceived by their own race as younger than even laios is to other tallmen, if that makes sense? at 30 smth senshi was treated like a kid by an older dwarf, maybe thats equivalent to their teens?

Now im just rambling though, i know that's not what the ask was about, it just had me wondering. In a context like this age can be more than a number due to racial traits and lifespans, but since izutsumi is probably closer to a human and idk if beastkin age differently or not, i'd agree that shes quite young especially compared to marcille who's probably a bit older than falin herself (well shes a lot older by literal decades but i imagine only a bit older if you consider elves probably reach adulthood a lot later which likely means marcille is a young adult herself?)

i also havent finished the manga so its difficult to form more concrete opinions on the matter but i hope i explained myself well? i do very much think a 17 year old in real life is a child, i was just rambling about this fantasy world and wondering how different things might be. if their 16 is our 18 then their 17 is our 19 and their 20 is our 22. I dont remember how mature I was at 19 but as a 22y/o i dont think id have felt comfortable dating someone 3 years younger personally? i still dont tbh

oh wow i scrolled back and realized i rambled too much im sorry about that its just my brain is full of dunmeshi!! still, let me know if i misunderstood the age mechanics of this story! Regardless, ill leave them out, thanks for letting me know!

[ahoneesan]

kebs game update - oct '24

jottin down where im at with the handful of games i consider myself, rightly or not, to be playin rn.

final fantasy 3 (ds) - very fun and well put together game! love the look, love the sound, love the weird double history of it (classic ff game obv, but also part of the prehistory of a strain of classic console rpg revivalism that eventually results in bravely default) but man i am not in the mood to grind rn. there can be something soothing about the structure of go to dungeon, make it a floor or two down, get nearly wiped by one too hard miniboss, teleport out, run back to town to heal and restock, repeat, but now is not the time for that. for me. also the job change waiting period or whatever can huff my shit.

death stranding - just picked this up, toolin around in ch2 but tryin not to get too hung up on stuff bc i know the game can sprawl if you let it. not a terrible game and not a terrible idea (walking simulator with Mechanics) but a little too esoteric for me at the moment. one of the things thats great about metal gear is its grounded in real world adjacent stakes (terrorists take over a nuke facility and you have to stop them) and fun characters (too obvious to list). DS so far has neither. im hopeful that ill get more invested as i go along but for now its a real "well huh how about this thing" feeling from me.

ffxiv - im actually taking a break from goin hard in this after the expac, just in time for me to miss the HEY A NEW PATCH IS COMING OUT festivities theyre throwing rn lol. was fun to grind for a while and im sure ill pick it up again outside of the obvious patch releases, but for now ill let my girl rest. and like, turn an island into an extractive robo capitalist utopia or whatever they fuck this shit is.

ffvii remake - good ass game but due to it being a collective play w me and the girls progress has been slow goin, which has dulled my enthusiasm for it. still obviously a great game, id like to finish the main story before monhun comes out but i did also just pick up DS soooooo we'll see!

system shock (remake) - I DO WANNA PLAY MORE OF THIS but the return stream needs to be splashy. by some definition of splashy. maybe in the next few weekends here i can spin it up again, along with more regular tomboy tuesday streams. lots of things i could tie into this, actually. here's hopin!

umineko - with ep8cast out its time to mosey on with the wrap up pods. unfortunately the GT squad is out of commission until one of us has a home to live in again, so it may be a bit before we can get to it. i'm hopeful to have one lower effort (but still very fun!) thing out before the end of the year.

thats everything as far as i can remember! not very interested in goin back to majora, would like to grab the new zeldy in time for holiday travel, and basically im in a sort of gaming stasis until monhun comes out next year and i vanish inside of there for a month or two. other games that are on my sort of immediate backlog: ffxvi, tomb raider 2010s trilogy, the rest of the ff's as i get to em, that new layton when (if) it comes out, maybe a dread replay, and i should pick up dmc again sometime. thanks for tuning in to this irregular check in.

[iiusia]

2, 3, 4, 13, 21, 23, and 24! I WANNA KNOW ABOUT YOUR OLIVIAVERSE YES YES

2. Summarize this au in 5 sentences.

im always so bad at this kinda stuff but i will try my best

olivia saves herself and tries to slowly relearn how to live. eli's been saving himself every day for years. mariam tries to keep them (and herself) together. they love each other so much :(. it'll work out, eventually.

3. Did anything inspire this au?

lichrally any story ive read that has slice of life/bittersweetness TBH!! but for the latest thing id say the line tender by kate allen / après céleste by maude nepveu villeneuve (french book saurry)

4. What is a major change you made?

this story used to have magical realism with birds as a thouroughline but i ended cutting that part out i felt like it was Too Much for this story yk... but i do wanna end up writing magical realism sometime soon

(that's why there's a bird in the parking lot in that snippet i posted a while back!!)

13. Write a lil snippet set in this verse.

thought id give a little uni arc olivia + lauren (for the first time? i think?)

Lauren pulls the headphones away from her ear. "Anybody you want to talk to?" Olivia, who's sitting on the small couch bolted to the side of the ship, gives a dismissive wave. "No," she says, still typing away furiously at her laptop. Lauren frowns and lowers the headphones to her neck. "Are you sure? It's been two weeks. No one that needs to know that you're not dead?" Olivia's fingers still, and she shoots Lauren a quick smile, all teeth. It's somewhat tight at the edges. "Nope," she says, shutting her laptop screen and gingerly setting it aside. "It's fine. I'm going to go get some fresh air. All that screentime is starting to make my eyes hurt." She leaves before Lauren can get a word in edgewise.

21. What makes you most excited about this fic?

i just LOVE writing these guys. you dont understand they live in my head so much that putting them down into words is a relief. like i just think that a dynamic like theirs is so fun to write... its about the deep love its about the loyalty its about the care its about the you-might-mess-up-sometimes-but-i-will-love-you-anyways DO YOU UNDERSTANDDDDDD

23. Do you have other ideas for how to continue this au/other fics that could be written in the same universe?

honestly the way im writing this now its kind of just disconnected scenes for fun yk so i could write Literally Anything... BUT for the sake of answering this question i do want to write more scenes for what i call the uni arc (olivia moves away for uni and everything she's tried to ignore blows up in her face)

24. Ramble about something you haven't gotten to talk about yet.

okay. honestly. been trying to figure it out but i lowkey want to make this story christian in some way?? idk like theres christian poetry there's christian fiction (mostly fantasy) but i havent ever read a christian story with These Vibes you know. i want to write a good story that is also christian!! is that too much to ask!!! i have no idea how .... honestly everything i think of sounds cringe and corny but maybe thats the like. social conditioning talking. fantasy stories have it easy because they can have magic and stuff so its easy to integrate but for this story thats like. the POINT is that its realistic and down to earth and they're all just People trying to get by. i cant really make it an allegory or a metaphor yk? it has to be real .... but then if i say "olivia starts to believe in her uni arc and becomes a christian" that just sounds silly to me!! (or maybe. again. its just that the worlds pov is that christianity is corny and silly and it could actually be good but IDK!!!)

[mileshehimwhite]

ok i know this is played out but i wanna touch on how music is generally seen as one of the most socially acceptable art forms. it is impossible to live as a human and escape music, its everywhere. however, that really doesnt mean that music is upheld as an art worth discussing.

id say its pretty fair to point out poetry and music are fairly similar mediums. they cross over all the time, and the distinction of the two is more of a matter of subjective taste than concrete lines. something interesting ive found with poetry is that its not as easily accessible by the masses as music - why not? much of poetry is melodic or could be easily transformed into song. the iambic pentameter is infamous for its specificity when it comes to syllables, very akin to how lyrics in music must conform to certain tempos or become a noisy cacophony.

the kendrick vs drake beef has brought the idea of music being poetic back into the mainstream. i say "back into" but any kendrick fan can tell you that hes always incorporated poetic devices into his lyrics and instrumentals to illustrate the theme of his song/album better. its fun! its a way for him to showcase his skills while also making the music a participatory act for the audience. almost like a scavenger hunt, you know everything is THERE, its up to you to find WHERE. however, the beef has far surpassed kendrick and drake fans, hiphop/rap fans, and has become a discussion point for those who have absolutely no background in these mediums. this is not a diss, its an acknowledgement that for those of us who have and do revere music as an artform, a lot of the talking points can come off as very beginner - because they are, they're made by beginners who are finding their foothold in this new world, just like we all did at one time whether we were 5 or 50 when we first started.

disclaimers aside, my grievances aren't with the people intrigued by accusations. i mean, i dont like 2010 pop very much but if katy perry called pink a pedophile you bet your ass id have tuned the fuck in. im not even sure if thats a comparable accusation, as i think katy perry was more popular than pink? i dont know, you get my point. the accusations are more indicative of the system they're both existing in than kendrick saying this one guy sucks and if we get rid of him and his groupies hollywood will be rainbows sunshine and happiness forever. like, we should still get rid of him, but the systems in place that let drake rise to the level hes at and profit so widely from the communities he claims to represent wont disappear with him, they'll just find the next drake, or taylor swift, or james corden, literally fucking whoever fits the mold they need them to fit into, and if they dont, then adapt to the mold assigned to them. the system continues, the gears keep turning.

i dont even want to talk about the beef necessarily, though i do want to talk about the two songs meet the grahams and Not Like Us. meet the grahams was the heavy-hitter. the one that got everyone talking. Not Like Us was the chaser. a sweeter mixture to dull out the bitterness in the audience's mouth. there's been more controversy about the lyricism in Not Like Us than meet the grahams, and i find that it comes from a lack of understanding of what artforms really are - communicative devices. they're not trying to TELL you something, as something like a report or spreadsheet would with its analysis of sourced data, but it's trying to make you EXPERIENCE something. you can hear the sentence "Treat others the way you want to be treated." all your life, but if you've never experienced a situation where you need others to treat you with the same humanity they hold for themselves, it's a lot less impactful.

Not Like Us showcases exactly what kendrick lamar has already shown us repeatedly: he not only understands people, but he knows how to get through to them. meet the grahams will inevitably go down as one of the most vicious disstracks of all times, yes, but who's bumping that shit? nobody. its not supposed to be bumped. people discuss how it sounds very eerie and frightening, and its SUPPOSED. TO. BE. the instrumentals weren't picked for no reason. the unintelligible yelling in the background? purposeful. the vocals of kendrick going in and out of rage, of him simultaneously saying he wants drake dead and also that he wants him to improve himself by going through ego dissolution? purposeful. this is not just kendrick showing his own emotions regarding the scenario, he's priming the audience to be on his side by proactively aligning himself with their emotions - which leads me to Not Like Us.

okay. like, even the title you see it clearly. Not Like Us. kendrick, even before the song begins, has the audience creating an Us VS Them dichotomy with drake and his crew. kendrick also doesnt define a clear 'us' within the song - he does directly call out drake's culture vulturism in his music, but notice how deliberate he is with it. kendrick points out how drake uses "the people" to get himself a larger paycheque. that is, purposefully, relatable to every working class person regardless of race or location. he uses specific black people in his examples because of drake's anti-blackness, and while he mentions drake being half white in a few of his songs his criticism is always very carefully cushioned by the fact that kendrick DEFENDS drake's white half. he says hes a culture vulture for profiting off of such an important artform made by and for black america, yes, but he also points out that the inauthenticity towards his mother's side of the family and his nationality as canadian is pathetic and disloyal. he SPECIFICALLY MENTIONS how drake lied about his religious views not because kendrick hates the jews secretly but because DRAKE CAN'T PROFIT OFF OF BEING JEWISH THE SAME WAY HE CAN BEING BLACK. that's why he doesn't claim being jewish as hard as he does being black, if the inverse was true i doubt drake would EVER try to 'fit in' to the hip-hop crowd, in the same way he rarely if ever mentions his upbringing in a jewish household.

this is very important and VERY strategic of kendrick. he CANNOT be making enemies in this stage. kendrick has been banking on this reaching far past hip-hop/rap crowds. drake is fluid and, to the core, mainstream. therefore, kendrick NEEDS his lyricism to be just as easily approachable. think about the difference between kendrick's double entendres. "Tryna strike a chord and it's probably A Minor" has been a joke since, probably literally the day we quantified the concept of chords in music theory. some people criticize the line because of that, accusing kendrick of being a hack for using such an easy joke. what they dont understand is, THE JOKE HAD TO BE EASY. it had to simultaneously be easy to access for the general public and also still somewhat biting. kendrick already planted the seeds of drake being a pedophile in meet the grahams, and he's reaping his harvest by dropping that line and "Certified Loverboy, Certified Pedophile". they not only dont have to be clever, THEY CAN'T BE. they can't be more clever than what the layman would gather with one listen, they're his hooks in the song.

some people use Not Like Us as kendrick stepping up to the dick measuring contest on drake's terms. "oh, you think you so good cause you can write something that'll get em jumping? not only can i do that, i can do it BETTER." and i do agree with them! Not Like Us was incredibly well thought-out. it gives us basically no new information, but it doesnt need to, Not Like Us owes its purpose to beating people over the head with a few of the concepts addressed in euphoria. and meet the grahams, yes, and also to prime the audience against drake, yes, and also to show the audience that anything drake does you can get somewhere else and done better, YES! even the beat is produced by DJ Mustard, whose works are both familiar to rap fans, and widely loved. DJ Mustard producing it reinforces the Us VS Them. i mean, even casual listeners of rap have heard the notorious tag "Mustard on the beat, ho!".

im not going to claim this hasnt been pointed out before, i havent seen it, but im sure it has. kendricks discography has primed old fans to indulge in every lyric to make sure no nuance is missed. i dont think kendricks artistry has been in doubt once the entire time this beef has been widely popular. so it seems a little silly then, to start this goddamn dissertation off with a criticism of how music isnt treated with the same consideration by its fans like how a similar artform, poetry, is. and thats because... well, 1: music is way more popular than poetry, like i said. and that leads into 2: people dont recognize music as... important.

some music is. that's true. i mean, remember during the pandemic when celebrities were singing john lennon's Imagine from their mansions while the working class were dying from completely preventable causes? we can say what we will about that era, and oh boy do i have a lot to say, but it does prove that we on some level acknowledge the impact of music. why else choose a song? why not literally just say the words, or words to that impact? because music is better? well, no. people say impactful shit everyday - sans music. Inspirational speeches are a type of communication basically always devoid of music and yet they serve very similar purposes. so, no. music isnt always better. in fact, during the situation i outlined above, i could not think of anything WORSE than breaking into a little tune and jig. there is some tact necessary.

music, however, does excel in one thing inspirational speeches don't: community. this may make little sense, because inspirational speeches are notorious for being purposeful in their bonding of individuals into one united movement. but i want you to consider this: what role does the speaker hold? in inspirational speeches, they're on the same side as the crowd, yes, but they tend to hold some position above or differing from them. a figurehead or trusted authority figure to a movement. they're fighting for the same thing, but they're in a unique position to the crowd.

think about music in that same concept. the singer doesnt tend to hold that same difference. how could it? the audience sings along, the audience dances, the audience taps their foot or bobs their head, whatever participation is included, its necessary. kendrick's Not Like Us, no matter how eloquently reworked, would have NEVER gained the same traction as an inspirational speech. it would make kendrick seem too different from the masses. it would remind us that... he's a celebrity too. he isn't working class. he isn't the one getting affected most by drake's culture vulturism, misogyny, or alleged pedophilia. which would then ask the question: well... why didnt he point this out earlier?

some people are still asking that question, which i think does hold merit. kendrick lamar is not our friend. he has done amazing things for his community and black americans at large and we absolutely cannot discredit that, but kendrick lamar could personally fund my lifestyle forever and that still wouldn't mean i know him or his mindset. he is much more impactful to me because a lot of his songs about growing up in poverty or in crime-ridden environments resonate with my own upbringing, and hearing his experiences heightens that level of relatability because kendrick DID experience what he's writing about, unlike drake, but i also know me. i know people from my block, people who died or got on drugs. im aware that it isnt a black and white scenario, that someone could do amazing things in one area and hurt people in another, and that both are true simultaneously. kendrick himself is obviously aware of this, he addresses it routinely in his music.

i truly believe that kendrick lamar showcases an incredible wisdom of people in his music. i believe that is more necessary to contributing to music than having a good ear for what sounds right. music is a communicative tool, and kendrick knows exactly what to say, how to say it, and when, to elicit the response he wants. THAT is why the people who thought drake would ever win the beef were, at the very best, not paying close enough attention. roasts are not just insults, they're insights to another person's flaws. a metaphorical airing of dirty laundry to the public to initiate change. kendrick can get away with outright admitting he hates shit about drake for no reason and not be seen as petty because he articulates it in a way that has the audience agreeing with him. sometimes you hate somebody for a reason you can't pinpoint - and the funniest part is that kendrick CAN pinpoint exactly why he hates, for example, when drake says the n word. he literally goes on to say why! very explicitly! but now he's made it more comfortable for people to start bashing on drake for any given reason because "the vibes are off".

TLDR; be careful what you listen to, because theyre definitely listening to you.

[ajdrawshq]

@ your tags on my post, i am shaking you like a maraca and yelling "YESSSSS"

i wanna see how kh3 tackles that whole thing because it's so eerily similar to what happens in the manga. and in the manga, he is in so much pain and agony, AND HE'S STILL FIGHTING. ROXAS IS THERE WITH HIM, HIS ONLY COMPANION, and then kh3 just tripped and fell on the glass table.

also, i think about this constantly, i want them to do something with it so bad.

YEA i cant wait to see the rest of kh3 manga chapters and how they handle everything, i especially loved the manga versions for days and kh2 and the way their stories were told - even tho kh3 has a Lot going on that might be hard to show well.. amano's been good at it so far tho so i have faith :]

but yeah that whole thing with Roxas is just . oughh. im not gonna lie even i forgot that Roxas was like. still there with Sora when he perishes until i thought abt it writing those tags but now that ive realized that. why the hell did they not take advantage of that!!!! like ok i get that it was more focused on the destiny trio in the ways i talked abt in the tags but yknow. what happened to "he makes up the difference"?? that wouldve been a great moment for it to shine!! ik they already make an example of it during the Xemnas n Saïx fight but still!!

part of me wishes Roxas couldve have more outward influence on Sora the way Ven did. granted, he arguably had an affect on Sora back in kh2, and while i dont remember if it was canon or even intended, that could be applied to both his appearance (his lighter hair, mostly) and his behavior (his hostility towards the organization members; ive seen this argued both as smth Roxas had influence over and purely based on Soras experiences thus far, and i believe in both personally) but Ven in kh3 was literally able to speak and somewhat act through him. im pretty sure this was meant to show that Ven was fully ready to awaken or smth like that, and that wasnt sonething that was needed for Roxas; hes alright, just needed a body/vessel for himself. but i still think itd be a cool way to express the earlier sentiment. and it wouldnt necessarily have to be Roxas "taking over" either, the manga shows very well how Roxas gives Sora strength from within and that he definitely does make a difference

to be fair tho...... whether that wouldve helped Sora in the moment that he gives in to his despair, im not sure. in kh2, both manga and game, hes in a very different mindset than kh3. in that part of the manga especially, despite thinking everyone (except Roxas) is gone for good, he still has the belief that they can live on within him. and that, plus the literal strength hes getting from Roxas, is keeping him going despite it all. in kh3 his self confidence is beyond fucked, and he truly believes in that moment that hes lost Everything, not just his friends. thats hard to come back from

i wonder if he were to remember that Roxas were still there, if that wouldve helped. whether for comfort in the way that hes not really alone then, or for motive to keep living bc if he dies then Roxas is gone too, or whatever reason, i think it couldve changed something, even if its just a little bit. hell, itd have been great if something like that happened afterwards in the final world. id like to think Roxas had a hand in Sora surviving ..... not sure how but its a nice thought. either way i do wish Sora n Roxas' connection and that moment they have in san fransokyo had more....... More. in kh3. it was a great opportunity that they didnt use/forgot about n im now sad abt it forever

[dittolicous]

sighs. i have had so much free time because of my cut hours but its. still left me with nothing to do, since i have to save as much money as possible while looking for another job. so i sleep, wake up, look to see if there are any new job postings on indeed/linkedin/ziprecruit/monster/etc, dig farther into google for more sketchy job openings, think about what company sites i can check for direct jobs, check those sketchy 'surveys for money' sites,... and then i go back to sleep. because well. cant be hungry or waste money if ur asleep.

i just. im miserable. i have so much time but i cant even enjoy or use it because im going to start bleeding money i dont have soon. im fucking terrified of not being able to find a new job, of being stuck in this... dead end job. unable to get off this damn island. it makes me sick. so im bored and guilty and scared and i just gucking hate this!

im so fuckibg tired of living in this godforsaken world where you only deserve to live if you give up everything. honestly, i wish someone would just. fuckibg come beat me up. wish my parents had actually fucking hit me instead of just yelling and insults. wish i was missing limbs or brain fuction or just. anything. anything to get the world to see i cant function.

im an empty brained idiot. i dont have any passion or self. how am i suppose to live? id rather be a fucking shattered glass than an empty jar. but thats what i am.

god i just. how???? how????? how do people... live????? how do you create and make.... your brand or personality? i cant make any of that. im just here. breathing. not for any reason. thats how its always been. everytime i see jokes about what kind of 'weird kid' you were i want to cry. because ive never been fucking anything! i wasnt a horse girl or a cat girl or train person or dinosaur nut or a monster fan and never cared about Egypt or rome or didnt care for legos or cars or model building or WHATEVER. ive just! been here! with nothing! im not ANYTHING. i dont have hobbys. ive nev r had hobbies.

ive always been alone and empty. disconnected from the world. disconnected from the community. disconnected from everyone.

my life is nothing. has been nothing. just a waste of time and space. nothing to show but misery and anger. theres no escaping it. i wish i was an actual person instead of this empty sack of nothing.

get hobbies they say, thatll help, yeah surs. sure. hobbies. to store in my roach and rat infested house, where i hide away in a tiny room because its the only space i have that i can control. with the money that i dont have. alone. because im terrible at bonding with people. because why would any human wanna hang around me? and because i tire so fucking fast.

i just. i wish i was fucking dead. im tired of this stupid fucking world. thinking things might get bettrr jusy to have reality forced into my face. im a piece of garbage npc who would have been better never being born.