#not a smol bean forced by his parents

[artemisia-black]

Regulus has a whole breakdown over Voldemort not being what he seemed. He fully brought into the ideology

“Master Regulus was very worried, very worried,” croaked Kreacher. “Master Regulus told Kreacher to stay hidden and not to leave the house. And then ... it was a little while later . . . Master Regulus came to find Kreacher in his cupboard one night, and Master Regulus was strange, not as he usually was, disturbed in his mind, Kreacher could tell . . . and he asked Kreacher to take him to the cave, the cave where Kreacher had gone with the Dark Lord. ...”

[saintsenara]

I made up some ships and I wanna know your opinion on them, I don't know if they can be considered deranged but whatever 🤷‍♀️

Snape/Padma. I ship them in a one-sided way? like Padma has a crush on Snape and she's very embarrassed about it. Maybe she grows out of it and wonders "What did I even see on him in the first place?"

Neville/Barty Crouch Jr. I made it up while watching Goblet of Fire. I have no idea how that would even work.

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

padma patil/severus snape

in half-blood prince, snape describes ron as "so solid he cannot apparate half an inch across a room", which is an opinion padma - who has the worst time anyone has ever had [at least parvati manages to pull the boy from beauxbatons!] with ron at the yule ball - is bound to share.

so sure. the couple that hates together stays together.

barty crouch jr./neville longbottom

which got a shoutout from another anon:

i have long maintained that barty crouch jr. is the best villain in the series, and his absolutely horrifying treatment of neville is but one reason why.

the pre-twist narrative of goblet of fire presents "professor moody" as eccentric, but nonetheless principled, brave, and one of the good guys - which is unsurprising, since the narrative is written from harry's perspective, two people harry respects [arthur weasley and sirius] speak highly to him of moody, dumbledore also respects him, and moody dislikes both snape and draco malfoy.

while harry is - understandably - shaken and upset when the lesson on the unforgivable curses reaches the killing curse [when he learns for the first time what his parents were murdered with], this isn't the case for the first two curses "moody" demonstrates. which means that the narrative ends up slightly underselling [even after crouch is unmasked] the fact that neville is deliberately forced to relive his parents' torture by the torturer himself.

and is then swept up by crouch in the aftermath of this ordeal and manipulated into becoming an accessory to his plan to kidnap harry and resurrect voldemort.

for obvious reasons, the denouement of goblet of fire primarily focuses on crouch and harry. but there is plenty of implication in the book that crouch also seeks out neville - above and beyond the other people he uses to further his harry-related plan - simply for the fun of psychologically torturing him.

i think this isn't given as much attention as it could be by the fandom, largely because crouch is basically forgotten in order of the phoenix, when neville's focus - like harry's, sirius', and the rest of the order's - becomes bellatrix lestrange, who's presented in that book as the ringleader of the attack on frank and alice longbottom and the person on whom neville would love to get revenge.

and while i think that we are supposed to understand bellatrix as the ringleader of her little gang of four, this seems to have coalesced - in lots of fans' interpretation of canon - into the idea that rodolphus, rabastan, and barty don't really do anything of note during the attack, and that they should be seen as falling somewhere on a scale from more sophisticated and restrained in their violence [especially common in portrayals of rodolphus] to followers who do as they're told to smol beans who were just there by mistake [very, very common with fanon!barty].

but barty crouch jr. didn't slay for a full year - with a packed teaching load as well! - to be disrespected like this. he's a solid-gold villain, he was directly involved in the torture on the longbottoms, and he's having the time of his life in goblet of fire attempting to also torture their son.

which can - if an author is so inclined - be taken to some very dark teacher/student places...

[bittyfromquotev]

if the Alphabet Bitch (Alicia Belle Comyak) ever gets a tumblr, she will definitely try to find me and @a-smol-bean. Then, she’ll send and ask or a DM or tag us (most likely me) in a post. She’ll be nice, saying things like “hi, bestie!” or “I missed you!”

I won’t be having any of it. Expect a VERY negative reaction. If this happens and y’all wanna get upset at me, just know this:

She manipulated and gaslighted me and @a-smol-bean, vaguely threatened to hurt me several times and did it a few times, implied that she’d be VERY happy if my parents died, tried to kill herself just to get attention, repeatedly crossed my boundaries with full knowledge of what they were, forced me to tell her sexual stuff(I was quite innocent but she wouldn’t leave me alone otherwise) and told me stuff back. She very obviously favored Smol Bean and gave possibly worse treatment to one of our old friends who is now her ex. Then proceeded to lie about her ex and I, saying that WE were horrible and shit to Bean.

There’s other things that don’t really come to mind right now, but she was never suicidal. Never. She just wanted attention. Also claimed she was Ace when she very clearly wasn’t. Plus, that girl is on my DNI.

In this unlikely situation, she will see this and try to convince all of my Tumblr followers that I’m lying. I’m not.

Anyways—

[talesofmetalandmagic]

Azir the Soft

Like I mentioned in the past, wee bby Azir was TERRIFIED of Nasus and Renekton.

Wouldn’t you?

Imagine being a smol bean of 5, a rotund bundle of squishable cheeks, big goo goo eyes, tiny hands, long pristine dreadlocks and a way too heavy gold hairband, and coming across a giant hound and a giant alligator trying to shake your hand.

Azir would curl up into a small ball of sobs and try to blend into the wall hoping they’d not catch him. Nasus and Renekton, being both childless, would awkwardly try to coax him into coming out of that ball. After all mama and dad are nowhere to be found – emperors have better things to do than parent their kids, and so do boomers – and the young prince must learn at once.

“Oh don’t cry, sweetie.”

“Yeah, don’t cry! Give me a smile! Like THIS!”

“Renekton you made it worse!”

“I just smiled, for Shurima’s sake”

“Yes, but with fangs… oh, forget it. Come here, little prince. It’s ok… see? It’s warm.”

“Aww, what an adorable little thing. C’mere!”

“Renekton STOP!”

As an adult, Azir never had this problem. He long considered which form he’d take as an Ascended. Maybe a dog like Nasus… but that would make him less unique. A snake perhaps, snakes are cool… but they’re also kinda sorta seen as negative animals. A cat? Azir loves cats – who doesn’t? – and cats are refined and proud like emperors… but they have a connotation with laziness that wouldn’t fit a ruler. A goat? They’re spiritual animals, indicative of wisdom… but they’re also helpless prey, and an Emperor should be a predator. What about… a bird of prey? Yes, a hawk would do. Majestic, fierce, always on top of the world. I feel like a hawk.

So, being a hawk, Azir travels Shurima with his retinue and tries things he’s never tried before. Perhaps unique for an imperial tour, he visits slums and abandoned neighborhoods and small villages. People still bow to him, because that’s what they know, and since he’s grown to hate the gesture as a whole, seeing it as hollow and lacking in honesty – thanks to one Xerath of Saikhal, who forced him to bow a lot during his imprisonment – he’s pondering the introduction of a new formula when he notices someone isn’t bowing to him.

A child, that is. A small thing of 5 with dreadlocks and a hairband, who curls up in a ball of tears as their parents pretty much implore them to bow like the others.

Azir thinks about it. Then he speaks: “Akshan, be a dear and bring this one to me.”

“My lord, your Imperial majesty… please! They’re just a kid, they don’t know…” their parents’ plea on their knees as the mercenary hauls the tiny one to Azir. Luckily Nasus isn’t with him on this one: he’s protecting the imperial coach with an escort of sand soldiers.

Akshan lifts the kid towards Azir, and he removes his half-helm to look at them closer.

“Are you afraid of me?”

A tiny “yes” emerges from the ball of sobs. Indeed… a giant hawk can be just as scary as a giant reptile. Azir sits down, offering an open hand… imitating Nasus’ own movements with him. And eventually tiny, shiny eyes look at him through soft fingers.

“You’re… a big bird.”

“I’m a hawk, and I’m not going to hurt you. I may look big, and scary… but that’s because I’m to protect you. Deep down… I can be sweet. Do you want to touch my feathers?”

“C-Can I?”

Right above his chestplate is his neck, a soft space of feathers awaits small grabby hands. The child snuggles in between them, tiny sobs fading into a content smile, and even their parents’ screams have subsided. Hugging an Emperor is a honor a few people see.

“So soft…”

“Yes, it’s soft.” Despite all of Xerath’s lovely attempts to ruin it. “And it’s warm, and… I hope it brings you good luck.”

He doesn’t really know why he did this. A part of him thinks he just wanted to hug a child, after having wept all his tears for his dear son and daughter, and feel like a parent for a moment. Maybe – and this is Xerath’s voice – he wants so desperately to feel good again, he resorts to platitudes and big moves to restore his reputation. Maybe he’s grown soft inside as well as out – too soft, in fact.

Either way it feels good, and isn’t it also what an Emperor should strive for? Feeling good?

“Emperor Azir the Soft” Samira chuckles to Sivir. “Imagine that being his title.”

“He’s been called worse names”, she chuckles back.

[big-gay-bird]

I wish I could art so this would be more interesting to people (I honestly still might try) but at some point I want to write fanfiction/an idea of another campaign setting in Calorum!

Remember how Emily mentioned pea protein? Well what about so called “meat substitutes”? Would they really be fully welcome in lands like Vegetania or Ceria? Would they be welcome in the Meat Lands? And where the heck do fungi live in this land?!

The meat-skters seeks to answer these questions in a setting during the Ravening war that proceeded ACOC! It also strives to break outside the typical assumptions that come with various classes in DND and related games!

When Zara, a little black bean in Carne, gets word that their bean village is in danger they decide to scrape together the little money they have and hire others from the city to help them protect their family. What they discover is that there are a lot of other so called “meat substitutes” that are tired of being treated poorly wherever they go! Together they fight for everyone whose a little bit different across all of Calorum, because everyone deserves a safe home even if they don’t fit neatly into a food group.

Our main characters are:

Edamame (or Eddy for short)

They are a tofu DEX based Paladin

-Eddy’s parents pretended to be meat, still won’t acknowledge they aren’t

-“bean pole” figure

-hyperactive gremlin

-Saw the flyer and just wanted to help

-motive is that Eddy is looking for a worthy cause (secretly because he was rejected from the army for being “a risk” with vegetanians)

Chè

She is a STR based bard and a large jackfruit

-she is buff as heck (jacked get it)

-very calm and collected, go with the flow

-tallest of the group

-Plays the bongos (and any other atypical bard instrument)

-goes where the wind takes her

-she ended up in Carne on her own and though she vibed with fructera she’s found a lot of joy in the meat lands and so it’s her home for now

Morel (or Morris)

He is a mushroom wizard

-mushrooms live literally everywhere underground

-the largest mushroom population in Calorum lives in Carne

- Morris has big himbo energy (for example he’s a work out buddy of Che) but he’s actually got a really high INT

-he has owly reading glasses that change his whole vibe

-“where are you from?” “Here” “but where are your ancestors from” “here”

-has always quote “vibed” with beans so talked his best buddy at the gym (Che) into helping out

Zaragoza (or Zara)

They are a black bean cleric for a religion unique to beans which worships the Sun itself in relation to the fields their ancestors came (not the bulb)

-Beans modernly live kind of everywhere (there are even chocolate covered coffee bean in candies which aren’t legumes but are still culturally related.) Beans use to live in the Land of the Legumes between grains and vegetables but they were forced into diaspora by the Cerians.

-Zara is tiny, like major smol

-they have huge bubbly extrovert energy

-they have a soft quiet voice but loves to talk

-the came to the city to be the best cleric possible and always planned to someday return to their family’s village

Kaoya ( duckie )

She is a sieten based Druid that is shaped like a roast duck

-Her family is treated as too glutenous for the meat land and too meat like in appearance for the Cerians

-Grew up on the border between Ceria and the Meat Lands

-she is the biggest nerd of the group

-she always wants to info dump about all the species around them

-talks the most with Zara who they met in the library

-Wants to see more of the world, there is so little they know

-out to help the bean village because they believe no one else will

-fights for beans and communities of misfits across the land

I also want to explore EGGS! I think they were maybe incorporated into the dairy island when they lived originally between meat and dairy. Perhaps their narrative could come into play? Also non-dairy milks!

[chappell-roans]

off topic but I just saw a post and the whole adults reading watching media for kids or ya is bad discourse is so stupid my god. youre an adult you should be reading Tolstoy like f-

TOLSTOY LMAO.

okay so. in discourse extremes are often bad, i do think people can consume whatever they want but there is a frightening rise in adults consuming exclusively media aimed at children. and not exploring any further. the great gatsby is too hard, i'll just watch moana again. which, is fine. i've seen moana like 5 times! it hit me hard as a young adult! but like i'm not going to only watch those things. and then companies (say, disney, but basically every entertainment company) is listening to this and making things more and more dumbed down and yeah idk. again, really nothing i can do about it and acting like no one should enjoy these things is also unhelpful. but idk i do think something changed and while i (for the most part) aged out of reading john green type of ya fiction (still wanna read his nonfiction ngl), a lot of people haven't?? and IDK. i'm not saying you're wrong and like there's layers to it. there is plenty of children's media that is GOOD and made for all types of people to enjoy, but idk. i think it's the all/nothing mindset i guess sfnldm. (and just to be clear, i know that you aren't asserting everyone should just go live in fairytales and go to disneyland everyday, anon, i truly just am a sociology nerd at heart and so am going to take this opportunity to reference some articles that i read literal years ago fohisd.)

there are some articles i've read about it in passing and they're probably going to sound harsh, take with a grain of salt, i'm not saying it's all right, etc., but i mostly just find this stuff fascinating. articles and quotes below. (i ended up copy and pasting... most of the articles, so i bolded the important parts. siodfnlk again. for general reading and mostly for myself. i haven't even read tolstoy FSDKNJ.)

but i am putting this above the cut:

"But we will never make the world better if we act like this. Thinking of yourself as a smol bean baby is a way of tapping out and expecting other people to fight on your behalf. It also makes you a more pliant consumer. Social media is awash with the idea that ‘it’s valid not to be productive’, as though productivity were the only manifestation of capitalism and streaming Disney+ all day is a form of resistance. It’s much rarer to encounter the idea that we have a responsibility about what we consume, or that satisfying our own desires whenever we want is not always a good thing: “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism” has morphed into “there is no unethical consumption under capitalism”." --- Everyone needs to grow up

The infantilization of Western culture

"If you regularly watch TV, you’ve probably seen a cartoon bear pitching you toilet paper, a gecko with a British accent selling you auto insurance and a bunny in sunglasses promoting batteries. This has always struck me as a bit odd. Sure, it makes sense to use cartoon characters to sell products to kids — a phenomenon that’s been well-documented. But why are advertisers using the same techniques on adults?

To me, it’s just one symptom of a broader trend of infantilization in Western culture. It began before the advent of smartphones and social media. But, as I argue in my book “The Terminal Self,” our everyday interactions with these computer technologies have accelerated and normalized our culture’s infantile tendencies.

But some cultural practices today routinely infantilize large swaths of the population. We see it in our everyday speech, when we refer to grown women as “girls”; in how we treat senior citizens, when we place them in adult care centers where they’re forced to surrender their autonomy and privacy; and in the way school personnel and parents treat teenagers, refusing to acknowledge their intelligence and need for autonomy, restricting their freedom, and limiting their ability to enter the workforce."

Visiting America in 1946, French anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss commented on the endearingly infantile traits of American culture. He especially noted adults’ childish adulation of baseball, their passionate approach to toy-like cars and the amount of time they invested in hobbies. As contemporary scholars note, however, this “infantilist ethos” has become less charming — and more pervasive.

Researchers in Russia and Spain have even identified infantilist trends in language, and French sociologist Jacqueline Barus-Michel observes that we now communicate in “flashes,” rather than via thoughtful discourse — “poorer, binary, similar to computer language, and aiming to shock.” Others have noted similar trends in popular culture — in the shorter sentences in contemporary novels, in the lack of sophistication in political rhetoric and in sensationalist cable news coverage.

While we might find it trivial or amusing, the infantilist ethos becomes especially seductive in times of social crises and fear. And its favoring of simple, easy and fast betrays natural affinities for certain political solutions over others. And typically not intelligent ones.

Democratic policymaking requires debate, demands compromise and involves critical thinking. It entails considering different viewpoints, anticipating the future, and composing thoughtful legislation. What’s a fast, easy and simple alternative to this political process? It’s not difficult to imagine an infantile society being attracted to authoritarian rule.

Unfortunately, our social institutions and technological devices seem to erode hallmarks of maturity: patience, empathy, solidarity, humility and commitment to a project greater than oneself. All are qualities that have traditionally been considered essential for both healthy adulthood and for the proper functioning of democracy.

Everyone needs to grow up

"You can see it in the widely circulated – and largely untrue – idea that the human brain isn’t developed until the age of 25, which means that anyone younger is still essentially a child. It’s there in the notion that people with ADHD can’t text back their friends because they lack object permanence (a skill that babies develop at eight months old). It’s there in the narrative that, because gay people didn’t experience a normal childhood, they’re living out a second adolescence in their twenties and thirties. It’s there in the hegemony of superhero films and the cross-generational popularity of YA, whose fans insist that grown-up literature is only ever about depressed college professors having affairs.

You can see it in Disney adults; the rise of cuteness as a dominant aesthetic category; the resurgence of stuffed animals; people who identify as Hufflepuffs on their Hinge profile; people throwing tantrums when their Gorillas rider is five minutes late; people lip-syncing, with pouted lips and furrowed brows, to audio tracks of toddlers. Sometimes, it’s less about pretending to be a child and more about harking back to a lost adolescence: narrativising your life like it’s a John Green novel or an episode of Euphoria, bragging about crazzzy exploits like smoking cigarettes on a swing or doing cocaine on a Thursday; hitting 30 and still considering yourself “precocious”.

Most complaints about the infantilism of young people have typically come from the right, which has pointed to safe spaces and trigger warnings as evidence that Gen Z and millennials have been coddled to the point of softness. The right-wing critique of infantilism usually contends that, due to a vague decline in moral fibre, young people aren’t willing to embrace the mantles of adulthood, like moving out of the family home, entering into a stable career, getting married and starting a family.

For the most part, though, swerving these milestones is not an active choice that young people are making: adulthood is something that has been denied to many of us, who couldn’t buy a flat or start a family even if we wanted to. “In an age where so much agency has been taken away from young adults, when they face futures saddled with debt, unable to access the basic material trappings of adulthood, which in turn delays entry into emotional adulthood indefinitely, a retreat into the dubious comforts of a pseudo-childhood will have its pull,” Professor Josh Cohen, psycho-analyst and author of How to Live, What to Do, tells Dazed.

That said, even if the economy is foisting an extended adolescence on us, we can still choose to assert our dignity and refuse to become “baby adults” or 26-year-old teenagers, helpless and dependent. Make no mistake: the capitalist elites want you to think of yourself as a silly little goose.

What would rejecting this helplessness look like? The right see adulthood as a process of settling down, getting married and having children; in effect, conforming to conventional gender roles and being productive members of the workforce. We obviously don’t have to buy into that, at any age. But we can aspire towards a different form of maturity: looking after ourselves, treating other people with care, being invested in something beyond our own immediate satisfaction. Infantilising yourself can often seem like a plea for diminished responsibility.

But we will never make the world better if we act like this. Thinking of yourself as a smol bean baby is a way of tapping out and expecting other people to fight on your behalf. It also makes you a more pliant consumer. Social media is awash with the idea that ‘it’s valid not to be productive’, as though productivity were the only manifestation of capitalism and streaming Disney+ all day is a form of resistance. It’s much rarer to encounter the idea that we have a responsibility about what we consume, or that satisfying our own desires whenever we want is not always a good thing: “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism” has morphed into “there is no unethical consumption under capitalism”.

Children are the perfect customers: suggestible, impulsive, driven by an insatiable and replenishable desire for pleasure. This is why, in the 1950s, companies leaned into ‘the teenager’ as an emerging market – you can only sell so many long-lasting household appliances. Adverts today are as eager as ever to speak to us as though we are babies, whether it’s Innocent smoothies telling us not to eat conkers or Heinz ketchup announcing that “adulting sucks”. As Felicity Martin wrote on Dazed earlier this week, pre-teen, teen and young women are increasingly being lumped together, consuming the same culture and being marketed the same products.

In a more subtle way, conservatives self-infantilise by denying their own agency: faced with the supposed “excesses” of the movements for LGTBQ+ rights and racial justice, they see themselves as being pushed towards extremism. But categorising other people as children – who can be overruled in their own best interests – forms part of the same project: in recent years, there has been a concerted effort to raise the age at which trans people can access gender-affirming care. Legislators in at least three states in the US are currently moving to deny this treatment to adults up to the age of 25, on the basis that they are not yet mature enough to provide informed consent. Oppressed groups aren’t always infantilised – in a process known as ‘adultification’, children from racialised minorities are typically viewed as having more agency, which makes them more likely to be criminalised– but the right is happy to deploy a diversity of tactics. Just as it’s a common behaviour in abusive relationships, infantilisation can be a mechanism for political domination and control.

Even if infantilisation is being pushed upon us, even if the helplessness we feel has a tangible basis in reality, even if adulting really does suck, we can still choose to see ourselves as capable of changing our own lives and the world around us. “The harms are undeniable,” says Cohen. “Bottom line: it’s a way of learning to love your oppressor. It takes an acute loss of agency and control and transforms it into a state to be desired and enjoyed. Once you embrace this way of being, the demands and rewards of adult life are going to seem all the more remote and all the more forbidding and unpleasurable.”

[stories2you]

If your requests are open, can I Ask moriarty brothers and Sebastian Moran with very short S/O who's normalny sweet and cheerfull but turns out to be a suprisingly great brawler who can be extremely brutal in fights? :)

As a shorty myself, here's my answer;

~~~~~

William

Man is a giant to you

Heck the moment you step into the Moriarty house, everyone (except for Fred) are giants

William would try to hide his fondness of your height

But fails

He has that one sweet smile just for you

He's whipped

Especially in bed

intimately and comforting

He'd hold you tightly into his chest

DONT MAKE ME GET STARTED WITH HUGS

warm

you'd even fall asleep while hugging

until...

smol y/n fights

yknow how cats are cute, soft, floofy?

until they attack?

yep. thats how you are.

Will is amazed and shocked

but nevertheless, he's worried about you

until one day, someone messed with you while you were shopping together

you smacked the culprit with the new skillet you just bought

man is speechless

"Oh dear, you did well. Let's go get a cup of tea." he'd say as a reward

"Thank you, honey."

Louis

You'd help him around in the kitchen and the manor

He'd find it adorable that you cant reach some spots

But he'll gladly help you

From passing the cloth to him

To him carrying you in his arms so you could do it yourself

It's just because he doesn't want you to get hurt from climbing on the stool or whatever

Set after timeskip

You and Louis are happily married

William is home

But there are some assholes that are still talking shit about Albert and Will

Without any hesitance, you flipped the chair you were sitting on at the culprit

It's been awhile since Louis saw you fight, but he's still surprised by your skills no matter what

He's even surprised to see you brawling with a man who catcalled you

You were pregnant at the time, belly has shown, but still strong as ever

Louis is too surprised and amazed

By your strength despite being in a vulnerable situation

"Are you okay, my dear?"

"I'm fine, just tired. Little bean was cheering for me when I was hitting that person."

'I married a great wife'

Albert

Despite being within the smaller side

Albert was more impressed than surprised by your strength

From multitasking house work

To helping out in the missions

There are disadvantages due to your short height

But you'd find ways to reach and hide

Which made you a great spy alongside Fred

Back when he was in prison, you'd always try to make him smile and comfort him

And he was appreciative of your efforts

And made him love you more

After his release, he was caught off guard when you managed to hurt Moran by hitting his pressure point

"Looks like you've lost, Moran. Good job, My Love"

"Oh no, it's nothing. He deserves it for not doing the housework."

Moran

THIS MAN IS HUGE

There was once people thought that you were either siblings or parent and child

It was a good advantage for disguises but

He's your one and only

But you called him.... Daddy

aight

He was attracted by your personality, which slowly made him notice your physical traits more

Your short height made him smirk

Teases all the way

Until he had said something to try to cheer you up, but made it worse

You had squeezed his hand so hard that he screamed

And you even took your anger out by punching a sand bag

That left a mark of your small fist and the force

'Did I marry a cat or a lion?'

"Sorry honey, did that hurt?" You'd ask

Another smirk

Y'all know where's that gonna lead to.

~~~~~

tbvh, i'd like to hug all of them. i love tall people, they're so nice to hug. can i have a william please? I'm sorry, I hope you enjoy! Sorry if it's rushed.

~ Mayu

[queenshelby]

The Concubine - Part Four

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: Angst, Very Graphic Violence, Domestic Violence, Abuse, Blood

Words: 1,589

Shortly after you left Tommy’s house, Tommy grabbed the telephone and enquired with the directory about where the call was made from.

He had an uneasy feeling about your fiancé, almost like a vision of some sort and, after he found out your fiancé’s address and where the call was made from, Tommy instructed Arthur and Isiah to keep an eye on you and your fiancé and intervene if necessary.

He knew that there were things you were hiding from him, things he didn’t know about you and he never dared to question you about any of it until he overheard how your fiancé spoke to you.

Now, he was suspicious and, for him, it was surprising that you willingly stayed with a man like that. A man who was using abusive language towards you and treated you badly, a man who cheated on you and who had nothing to offer.

***

That same morning, when you arrived at your fiancé’s apartment, he had gone.

There was no note, no nothing and you decided to wait for him patiently.

At around 7 o’clock in the evening, he finally barged through the door and saw you sitting inside the loungeroom with the curtains closed and the fireplace lit.

‘See how it feels having to wait around Sweetheart?’ Steven said sarcastically as he threw his gun onto the loungeroom table and took off his jacket.

‘I am sorry Steven. I had to work’ you explained and Steven was quick to grab your throat with one of his hands, pushing you back against the lounge firmly.

‘Working for fucking gypsies, huh?’ he said harshly before continuing on, his breath smelling like booze and cigarettes. ‘My woman chooses to work for someone else instead of servicing me’ he went on to say before ripping off your blouse harshly, causing the buttons to tumble onto the floor.

‘Steven stop, you are hurting me’ you said as you tried to squirm away, but his hold was too strong.

‘No no no Love, you don’t get to tell me to stop. I want to have some fun with you’ Steven then huffed out.

But, as he held you down, it didn’t take long for him to notice the small bruises on your neck and chest and, without any sort of warning, he pulled you up on your hair and threw you against the coffee table.

‘You are fucking someone else aren’t you, you fucking whore?’ he scolded at you as you hit the table, injuring your chest and stomach on the long edge of the oak.

‘Steven stop, please’ you cried as he again pulled you up on your hair, hit you across the face and dragged you into the kitchen.

As you reached the kitchen, he forced you to lean forward against kitchen table and you knew very well what he would do next.

Fearful and in tears, you leaned forward and held onto the table while Steven removed his belt which, almost in an instant, came flying across your back.

‘Stop, please. I am sorry Steve, please stop’ you cried as he hit you again, harder with each stroke.

‘You want to behave like a whore, huh? Yes?’ he scolded as he hit you again and you began to scream.

‘Well, I need to treat you like a fucking whore then’ he yelled again, hitting you even harder and, by that time you lost count of how many strokes he inflicted on your back until, suddenly, you heard someone kick down the front door.

‘Get the fuck off her you fucking animal, eh’ Arthur shouted, pointing the gun at your fiancé.

‘Who the fuck are you?’ Steven then asked, dropping the belt as he did and you immediately fell to the floor, crying and whining as you barely managed to hold onto one of the legs on the kitchen table.

‘I am Arthur fucking Shelby and you are fucking dead, eh’ Arthur said, pulling back the release mechanism on his gun in readiness to shoot.

‘Don’t’ you yelled out quickly and Arthur lowered the gun.

‘His father will kill my family. Please, don’t shoot’ you pleaded and Arthur waived at Isiah and one of the other gang members who walked over towards your fiancé and restrained him.

‘Listen to me you little fuck, eh. She and her family are under the protection of the Peaky Blinders now and you don’t fuck with the Peaky Blinders. You get this message to whoever the fuck your father is and unless he want’s a war with us, he will back off. Do you understand?’ Arthur explained to Steven before he pulled off his cap and cut him across each side of his face.

‘You will regret this’ Steven shouted in between screams from the pain across his face.

‘I think you haven’t been listening boy. My brother’s orders were to kill you if you harm this woman. You are alive right now because of her mercy but, my brother’s orders will stand if you lay a hand on her again or anyone from her family’ Arthur then said before kicking Steven into his crotch and helping you off the floor.

‘Common Love’ Arthur then said as he placed his coat over you carefully and helped you to his car.

Your back was bruised and bleeding and so was your chest and stomach. Your face was slowly turning purple and your cheek began to swell.

‘We will take you to the hospital Love’ he then said as he lay you down onto the backseat.

‘No hospital’ you said, knowing that the hospital staff will ask questions.

‘Tommy’s house it is then, eh’ Arthur said and you nodded quickly before asking about your parents and sisters.

Arthur asked you where they live and decided to send Isiah and one of the other gang members to their house for protection while Tommy decides what was going to happen.

***

After about twenty minutes, you arrived at Tommy’s house and Francis greeted you quickly when she saw Arthur’s car pull up.

As soon as she saw that you were with him and heavily injured, she ran to get Tommy while calling one of Tommy’s trusted doctors to come to the house.

‘Fuck’ Tommy growled as he saw you. You were barely managing to hold onto Arthur’s shoulders.

‘He did this to her Tommy’ Arthur said as Tommy held onto you and helped you inside while you were still crying, barely able to deal with the pain across your back and stomach.

Without losing any time, Tommy and Arthur placed you to lie down on one of the lounges in the reading room while Francis fetched several towels and some water to clean up your wounds.

‘Tommy, I am sorry’ you said, unsure what you were sorry about. Was it the fact that you had just caused him trouble or that you were ruining his expensive sofa?

‘Don’t Love. There is nothing for you to be sorry about, eh’ Tommy said as he helped Francis to clean you up while Arthur gave him a detailed run down of what had happened at the apartment.

‘Oh my god, fuck’ you growled in pain each time Tommy or Francis touched one of your wounds with the cold wet towels and it was at this point that Tommy pulled out a small brown bottle from his jacket.

‘Drink this. It will make the pain go away’ Tommy said but you pushed his hand away and shook your head.

‘No, I can’t’ you said before another scream escaped your lips.

‘Where does it hurt?’ Tommy then asked as he observed you holding on to your stomach.

‘My stomach, it’s so much pain’ you cried.

‘Sit up. It might be better sitting up. The doctor is on her way, eh’ Tommy said reassuringly as he helped you into an upright position but, just as you sat up straight, you suddenly felt a gush of liquid drenching your skirt.

Instinctively, you reached for your lap with your hands before looking down, seeing your hands and skirt covered in bright red blood.

‘Y/N’ you heard Tommy shout loudly and then again more quietly as your mind went fuzzy and dizzy.

‘Call a fucking ambulance’ Tommy then shouted out to Francis, which was the last thing you could recall before everything in your mind went blank.

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[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half-Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Part 2!

Part 1 Lessons 1-5 Lessons 5-6 Group Retreat Lessons 10-12 Lessons 13-15 Part 3 Part 4

Okay, They’re Your Cousins but You’re Not Sure How They’re Related to You...

(Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and Luke)

(It’s mostly Luke)

Barbs likes smol Lucifer. Smol Lucifer likes Barbs. They bake together with Luke. MC nearly set the kitchen on fire. MC needed to learn to cook.

MC is forever delegated to mixing duty because they refuse to admit that they don’t know how to work the oven.

Simeon is the one telling MC embarrassing stories about Lucifer and the rest of the Student Council from when they were all angels. Lucifer never hated Simeon more than when he found out that Simeon told MC about how hard Lucifer cried when he got to hold baby Mammon for the first time. MC was sworn to secrecy.

Well... sworn to secrecy, but if Uncle Mammon just happened to find out through a series of coincidences it wouldn’t be MC’s fault, right?

Simeon also tried to help teach MC to fly... but he kept distracting them with stories about Lucifer and Michael learning to fly.

“So my father was even WORSE than he told me he was?!”

“Yes, he actually challenged Michael and Raphael to a race at one point. Lucifer ended up slamming directly into a wall because he didn’t know how to stop.”

“SIMEON!”

Solomon was absolutely fascinated with MC. How did their half demon half human nature affect their reaction to certain spells and potions? Do half demons have more or less magical strength than normal demons? Can half demons make pacts with humans? Wait- Lucifer why are you taking MC away they were talking- Lucifer!

Immortal troll needs to troll. MC is the unwitting victim of many of Solomon’s shenanigans.

“Why must I speak in rhymes?! This is the end of times!”

“MC, just stop talking.”

“Father, I don’t mean to be a bother but-”

“So the rhyming spell works the same on half demons... interesting...”

“Solomon...”

“I’m leaving, Lucifer. I’m leaving!”

Aw! Two kids in the Devildom! They were fast friends. Sure, Luke was a little annoying and MC was a bit of a dick, but their mutual smallness and desire to impress their parental figures brought them together.

“Michael’s just so cool and amazing! The way he flies, the way he commands everyone... I want to be just like him someday!”

“Is that why you’re making a cake?”

“Michael has a sweet tooth, and I want to impress him.”

“I wonder if Lucifer likes sweets...”

“Why would you want to give HIM sweets?”

MC just gave Luke a toothy grin and started making the dough for the cake.

Remember back in Lucifer’s section where I said MC would keep their lineage a secret to freak people out? Yeah... they kept it from Luke. At first it was a joke! They were going to tell him! They just uh... it got really awkward. They planned on revealing it to Luke right after they learned how to properly fly so they could swoop in, pick their angel buddy up and zip the two of them to school. It’d freak Luke out at first, but it was meant to be funny! MC would have even sung the song from Aladdin! It um... didn’t turn out that way.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” MC growled at the lesser demons that were crowding Luke.

“O-oh... uh... nuh-nothing...” a few of the demons backed off, mumbling a few harried apologies to MC as they scurried away. The remaining demons seemed a tad more... hmm... they say there’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

“M-MC! You can’t fight demons! I’m an angel I-I c-can...” Luke sniffled, but tried his best to step in front of MC.

“Oh please, the little half-breed and the lowest ranked angel are going to put up a fight?” One of the demons jeered, a few of the remaining demons joined in.

MC’s eyes narrowed, their glare as cold as the worst winter storm. “I’m going to tell you once, and once only,”

Their wings sprouted from their back, horns now fully grown and on display, teeth sharper and glistening in the light. Hm, it seemed half demons could make their eyes glow too, how delightful.

MC gave the other demons a sweet smile, it would have been comforting if it weren’t for the amount of teeth they were showing off. They lazily placed their hand on Luke’s head and lightly moved him out of the way.

“Leave, or I will make you regret ever crossing us exchange students.” MC’s carefree smile couldn’t mask the malice that coated every single word that left their lips. “Run along now, you’re not needed here.”

The demon that had started the taunts stiffened, he looked from MC, to Luke, to the other demons, before scoffing and shaking his head. “Whatever, the two of them aren’t worth it anyway...”

When the offending demons weren’t leaving fast enough for MC’s liking, they snapped their fingers and shot a fireball right behind the fleeing demons’ feet. They cleared out pretty quickly after that.

“Luke?” MC turned to look at their friend. “Are you...”

Luke was backing away. That look in his eyes, he was... scared. Scared of MC...

“Y-you’re a d-demon?” He whimpered, taking another step back.

“Half demon, actually.” MC let their demonic elements disappear. “I meant to tell you, I really did! It just was never the right time-”

“You lied to me! You said you were human! But you’re a demon like the rest of them!” Luke shouted, he wiped at his eye with his sleeve and sniffled. “I tried to help you, but you just..! I thought you were my friend!”

“Luke- hang on!” MC took a few steps forward, but Luke was already running away. MC felt something twist in their gut, something awful. That ball of innate pride twisted and practically screamed, filling MC’s head.

“He’s not worth it!”

“You’re above him anyway...”

“If he can’t understand how perfect you are, he doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

“Don’t grovel for his forgiveness. He’s beneath you.”

“Your help was rejected. Let him hate you. You’re the child of one of the most powerful demons in the Devildom, who is he to make you upset?”

The thoughts filled MC’s head as they desperately tried to shut them up. They were their father’s child, their pride wouldn’t be easily combated.

“Just be quiet!” MC clawed at their head.

“You’re better than this. You’re better than this. You’re better than this-”

“Luke!” MC called out again. “I’m sorry!”

It truly was a shame that their friend didn’t understand how much an apology from MC really meant.

They guessed Luke was right, wasn’t he? Demons were nasty awful liars. MC was no different...

That hurt.

Lucifer noticed his kid was moping around, not even Detective Toe Beans could cheer them up. Mammon even came home covered in mud from a failed money-making scheme and it didn’t even make MC crack a smile! He needed to get to the bottom of this.

Upon hearing the reason for his child’s woes, he was fully ready to break down the door of Purgatory Hall and throttle the little chihuahua, but Lucifer came to his senses and realized that MC probably didn’t want that.

He teamed up with Simeon and Solomon the things he did for MC... And managed to get both Luke and MC to the Demon Lord’s Castle to hang out with Barbatos.

It didn’t take a genius to realize that Luke missed his friend too. Sure they called him a chihuahua sometimes, but they were still the bestest friend he had made during his time in the exchange program... maybe ever...

Maybe... just maybe... he overreacted. MC did protect him after all, and they never tried to hurt him...

Barbatos was fully ready to fulfill his role as Luke’s second dad and help his angel-son make up with his friend.

It may have been awkward at first, but the two had to join forces to stop Solomon from getting within a hundred metres of the kitchen. Nothing brings two people back together more than fear for your tastebuds.

Mission success. Lucifer could relax knowing that his kid and the chihuahua were back to being friends. Maybe MC could convince Luke to quiet his infernal yapping... Lucifer was trying to work here!

For some extra fluff, after many days of asking and asking, Lucifer and Simeon agree to take Luke and MC up to the human world for Halloween. They got to go trick or treating, and everyone complimented MC and Luke on their ‘costumes’.

*insert sitcom laugh track here*

Sure, it may have been a little immoral for MC to use their powers to manipulate the humans into giving Luke and MC more candy but... candy...

Oh shit would you look at the time- they had to get back to the Devildom for Diavolo’s birthday party- MC STOP WITH THE CHOCOLATE! THE SIGN SAYS TAKE ONE! DON’T BE LIKE MAMMON.

The exchange year had been a success. Well... sort of. MC wasn’t exactly the average Joe human the Student Council expected, which is why after a lengthy break where MC went back to the human world to visit their other parent and human friends, the seven rulers of Hell (+MC) were sitting and waiting for the new exchange students to arrive.

Unlike the previous year, the entire student council was present. That included Levi who they had to physically drag there, Belphie who was carried there and had to be placed in his seat because he was completely passed out, and finally Mammon, he just had to be threatened.

“Father,” MC pouted from their seat next to Lucifer. “Why isn’t my chair as big as yours?”

Lucifer sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Because you’re much shorter than me. You can have a bigger chair when you grow a few more inches.”

“Mmm...” MC murmured, crossing their arms. “Are the students going to get here, or what?”

“Can you be patient?” Lucifer asked. “They’ll be here any moment now. I can trust that you’ll behave, right?”

MC looked scandalized, placing a hand over their heart and gasping. “Father! Of course! I’ll be the most polite person these humans have ever met!”

Not so deep down, Lucifer severely doubted that.

“Come now, Lucifer and MC!” Diavolo said from his elevated seat. “It’s almost eight am!”

Right on schedule the portal opened, two sets of screams followed.

“The next big priority should be making the trip more comfortable.” MC huffed. “It’s demeaning getting dropped straight down like that and just slamming into the floor.”

“Hm.” Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Perhaps instead we can just teleport them up to the Celestial Realm, start a war, and have them crash through not one, not two, but all three barriers between the realms with no portal.”

“Father...” MC matched Lucifer’s eye roll. “That has the same energy as ‘when I was your age I walked to school 100 miles through a blizzard!’ The polite thing to do for the exchange students is to not let them hit the floor at 100 mph and possibly give them a concussion.”

And slam straight onto the floor the two other exchange students did. Well, one of them slammed right into the marble, the other had tried in vain to use their wings to slow their decent or fly back up.

Wait...

WINGS?!

WAIT THE OTHER HAD HORNS?!

THEY BOTH HAD-

Oh and would you look at that... one looked like... and the other looked like-

Shitballs.

Lucifer had to keep himself from actually shouting in frustration. One normal day... one day of no exchange student issues was all he asked for...

“Out of over ten million candidates out of over eight billion humans...” Lucifer grumbled. “How in my father’s name did this happen again?”

(OOOOOOOOOO SEQUEL BAIT!)

[sithfamily]

This is our last baby I promise!

Alitara: *comes in the house with Dooku and some six years old boy on her hip* Hi boys! I'm back! *Using force to put bags away*

Torian: Hello miss Dooku *smiles* How was your trip...and who's there? *Slowly comes closer bcs he don't want to scare child*

Alitara: Oh yes, meet our new little cub *rubs their noses together* we found him lost in woods. We tired to return him to his parents but his father is such a....

Dooku: Language!

Alitara: Sorry pa...anyway this is Arcann, he's force sensitive and the purest smol bean I've ever seen *purrs* and where are everyone? *Looks around*

Torian: Well...Mister Malgus took children on some active volcano for some lessons... *Sights terrified*

Alitara: *sits on a couch and let Arcann feel comfortable in nest full of comfy pillows* So we will have some peaceful time untill they will be back...

Revan: What is this little cutie?! *Screams from the top of stairs*

Torian: Shhh! He's uncertain. *Whispers, wrapping it protectively around Arcann*

Alitara & Dooku: *smiles gently, delighted by the view of overprotectiv young Mandalorian*

Revan: I will bring plushies! *Disappears in one of the rooms*

Torian: *Sights and tries to make sure that boy is comfortable*

Alitara: You will make a wonderful duo boys. *Smiles warmly*

Dooku: I will prepare room for him. Make sure that Revan won't move all room downstairs. *Smiles to new grandchild and goes to find some free space for Arcann*

~ a few hours later ~

Revan: They are back! *Shouts from living room, when Alitara, Torian and Arcann spends time in kitchen doing some mandalorian's dinner*

Alitara: Good...take care of Arcann *takes some vibroblade from drawer* Malgus! My dear!

[thewriterowl]

how about some headcanons about Obi Wan raising Luke alone?

I have always found this idea very sweet but also very sad, because obviously Obi Wan loves Luke but at the same time he feels guilty for what happened to Anakin and sees a lot of him in Luke and this is like a reminder of his failure.

And besides, he feels guilty for Luke because now Luke is forced to grow up in a hideous place and he lost his parents.

I think Obi Wan feels partly guilty for Padme's death too, if he had been able to help Anakin, Padme would probably have been saved too.

p.s a little touch of angst.

One day Luke called him dad.

Imagine Obi Wan's reaction.

I. LOVE. DADI-WAN. Obi-Wan raising Luke is greatness. I think Obi-Wan should've raised him (nothing against Beru or Owen). They both needed each other and would help the other heal (especially Luke to Obi-Wan as Luke just has that ability). Luke sometimes challenges Obi-Wan and his old beliefs, Obi-Wan ensures Luke is raised with kindness and love, and the boy just make the other better and stronger.

They don't stay on Tatooine all the time. They do travel at times and Luke is trained as a strong Jedi but is still this good smol bean of Light. Obi-Wan is panicked because Luke is so much like Anakin in how strong he is...but as the years go by, Obi-Wan begins to become comfortable and see Luke as his own person. This good, darling combination of both Anakin and Padme.

Obi-Wan will begin to really understand his mistakes with Anakin and, perhaps, realize that it wasn't all him...Anakin also made his own decisions. He'll start understanding that the prophecy failed not necessarily because of Obi-Wan but because Qui-Gon. Anakin needed a father, not a big brother, to be raised with. That was the biggest "failure" and it wasn't Obi-wan's fault. Letting the guilt and fault go is probably his biggest struggle. He has to come to an understanding that Anakin was an amalgamation of different choices and mistakes from different people. (the spirit of his former Master helps him with this).

Obi-wan is different for Luke because of his age and experience. He can be a father, like what Anakin needed, this time.

They communicate amazingly (if little Luke has a tantrum, Obi-Wan, quelling his own fear of Luke turning Dark, sits and talks with him about what he is dealing with--it helps with the Skywalker temper and gets Luke to become a bit self-aware of his emotions). They are a bit too mature at first (back to Obi-Wan's own fear) but it starts to become more comfortable after a while.

Especially when Luke, probably around 6 or 8, calls Obi-Wan dad. It makes the man cry. He almost pulls away at first but sees Qui-Gon, maybe even a somehow redeemed Dooku, glittering in the distances and nodding to help him with this path. So, from that point on he's dad.

Luke still doesn't know about Vader for some time, but he is aware that Obi-Wan isn't his blood-father and is aware there are things being hidden from him. He trusts Obi-Wan so much that he doesn't push until he knows they are both ready.

Luke is made aware of different things about Obi-Wan, one big thing being Cody (cause Codywan is a yes for me). He learns a lot about the Jedi and the Clone Wars. He knows of Anakin Skywalker being dead and who his mother was, and how Obi-Wan is the one who is looking after him for them. He learns of Ashoka and Rex, topics that make Obi-Wan the happiest without much bitterness...but Cody is what makes Obi-Wan the happiest and saddest at the same time.

Obi-Wan can only talk about him on occasion though.

Luke learns a lot about Jango Fett, the clones, Duchess Satine, and Mandalore...and needless to say he gets his dad's taste in them. After Luke meets his first Mandalorian he is doomed and talks about the attractive armor with Obi-Wan for days (Obi-Wan is in so much agreement). On the happier occasions as they gossip about how attractive Mandalorians are, Obi-Wan finds a holo picture of the clones in their prime

Luke may drool over Rex...by a lot.

Yes, Rex is Luke's first crush. Don't come at me. Beefcake Mandalorian who is very competent, strong, but has a great personality and makes for a wonderful big brother (coughDADcough) in a hot armor-uniform? Yeah, tween Luke has heart-eyes.

Luke also like Wolffe, all of the Bad Batch, and is always happy to swoon about Cody when Obi-Wan was able to too.

Luke really helps Obi-Wan start to move on and find happiness in his memories and not just sadness of the people he loved and lost.

They talk about attachment a lot and come to understand what it means under the Jedi way. Luke learns a lot from Kenobi who has suffered more than most but has been able to love without possessiveness and let people go.

Luke pulls an Anakin often when he is allowed to pilot. He's all about going as fast as possible.

Because of the strong Force connection, Luke also learns a lot from Qui-Gon and even Dooku. He learns of balance and temptation and forgiveness and choosing what is right over what is expected. Qui-Gon feeds into Luke's troublesome side and ensures he has a childish side and can be innocent and bright and happy.

Obi-Wan doesn't bring Luke into the rebellion. He is a little protective over Luke and doesn't want to bring him into a war when he's a child, there had been enough children soldiers, but he eventually has no choice.

Luke is hella powerful and strong but it still hurts him when he discovers who Vader is. But he still trusts and looks after Obi-Wan as his father, and he forgives and saves Vader like before as well.

[randomized-ice]

ROOT Reformed

Okay so you know how Yamato, Sai, and Shin were in ROOT? Well, what if Yamato had seen the two children, one so sick he was throwing up blood and the other so antisocial he kept getting bullied because of how he talked, and adopted them? The Dad!Yamato, and Child!Shin and Sai headcanons that nobody asked for coming right up :)

When Yamato first met Shin and Sai, Sai was hiding behind Shin because he accidentally insulted someone and got punched. Shin was trying to comfort the small boy and protect him.

Yamato then decided to adopt them both, he scared away the bullies and helped Sai cover his black eye, which looked worse than it was since Sai’s skin is so pale and markable.

When Yamato learned that Danzo was sending the two small children on B-Rank missions as PAWNS and they just barely survive all their missions, he personally whooped Danzo’s ass

Yamato was put in charge of Shin and Sai and the two children warmed up to him quickly

Yamato chasing Shin around the room trying to get him to eat vegetables

Yamato having to force veggies down two screeching kids throats

Shin and Sai doing target practice and Yamato tallying up the scores

Yamato training Sai and Shin on their jutsu

Yamato helping Shin reach his full potential with his ice powers

Yamato finding out how to make pieces of paper so Sai could draw all he wants

They have a huge garden in their backyard that they take care of.

Yamato growing different types of plants with his wood style jutsu and Shin and Sai reading books on how to take care of them

On Christmas, Yamato sneaked Shin and Sai out of Root so they could go to an actual party

Yamato introducing Shin and Sai to Kakashi

When Shin and Naruto first met, it was chaos at first sight

Sai following Yamato like a lost puppy and holding on to his pant leg until Yamato picks him up and put him on his shoulders

Yamato, Sai, and Shin cuddling by the fire like the smol beans they are

When Shin got really sick from his unnamed diease, they immediately went to see Tsunade, even though it took a week to track down the gambling lady

Tsunade getting full access to Root’s medical supplies so she can make sure Shin is okay

Shin surviving and being cured of his illness, NOT DYING BECAUSE HELL NO YAMATO WASN’T ABOUT TO HAVE HIS CHILD DIE, NOT TODAY SATAN

Sai and Shin keeping their memories and growing up with an actual parental influence

Yamato chasing a cackling child with a huge butchers knife around the house, both of them are yelling

Sai being the sassiest little shit in the world and everybody thinks he doesn’t know what he’s doing but Yamato’s just like “You sneaky lil’ shit-”

When Sai got to join Team Seven with Yamato, they brought Shin along as an ANBU “for the mission” when really, they didn’t want to leave him behind and come back to find the house destroyed

Yamato trying desperately to find where the hell Shin is getting all this cup ramen from and Sai is just not telling Yamato because he’s a lil’ shit

Shin third-wheeling with Kiba on all of Ino and Sai’s dates (Kiba third-wheels on everbody’s dates, its a fact)

KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN, KIBA x SHIN (I’m sorry I just need my dog boy-o to love somebody okay??)

Shin just randomly came home one day holding Kiba’s hand and Yamato immediately adopted him

IRUKA AND KAKASHI SHOW UP AND BAM (Yes, this is KakaYamaIru. Shhh-)

Naruto and Kiba calling each other “Brother” bc their father-figures are dating

Sai and Ino being quieter about their relationship than Shin and Kiba but they’re literally so damn cute oh my lord

Shin and Kiba going on dates that are mostly composed of running around the woods and chasing rabbits but they love it anyway

Yamato being a Proud Dad™

When Danzo died and the family got their curse marks removed and became real Leaf Village citizens they were overjoyed

Suddenly, the Leaf Village had about 100 more extremely talented teenage shinobi at their service

Yamato re-opening Root but this time, making it into a friendly place where everybody is supportive of one another

Sai and Shin helping people understand that they’re not alone anymore and it’s okay to have friends and be original because you’re one purpose in life is not to be a pawn for the Leaf Village anymore

Sai getting to decorate the ceilings of the Hatake Mansion with whatever designs he likes, making it not only beautiful but deadly

The Hatake Mansion having designs of tigers, birds, flowers, and symbols all over the roof

Murals of the person in their rooms (Naruto has a silly fox one, Kiba has a dog one, Kakashi has a lightning one, Yamato has a garden one, and so on.)

Yamato adopting Shino bc we need our bug boy to be noticed (COUGH COUGH NARUTO)

Shin running around the house, chasing a bee that stole his homework

Shin becoming a super energetic gym teacher at the Academy

Sai becoming an elite jounin and having a custom, crop-top uniform

Yamato becoming the nicest leader of an ANBU division there’s ever been

Shino and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords together

Sai and Ino baking cookies together only to find that Shin, Kiba, and Naruto ate them all

Iruka managing the chaotic household while being constantly cuddled by Kakashi and Yamato

Iruka teaching Sai about friendship and smiling

They have a huge ass garden

Yamato helping Ino and Sai at the Yamaka flower shop

When Sasuke returned, he was immediately adopted

The Hatake Household of Chaos

Sasuke, Shino, and Sai being weird shitposting edgelords

Anko as the weird aunt who came around only to fuck shit up and leave

Gai as a weird uncle and Lee as their favorite (and only) cousin

Kakashi making breakfast and dinner for about nine hungry people

Yamato making all the kids little lunches

When Orochimaru came back to the village, Shin and Sai both made sure that he was five feet away from Yamato at all times

They only began to trust Orochimaru when Sasuke told them that Orochimaru was his sensei/father-figure and the supporting father figure he never had

Orochimaru apologizing to Yamato for testing on him

Orochimaru becoming a father figure to Yamato and Sasuke

GRANDPA OROCHIMARU

Orochimaru and Shino talking about bugs and snakes

Shin, Naruto, and Kiba chasing a yelling Orochimaru around the house with a bunch of marigolds and ammonia (snakes hate those)

Iruka trying to make peace with the marigold and ammonia welding children and a terrified Orochimaru

Tsunade coming over to see her favorite little brat (Kakashi)

GRANDMA TSUNADE

Tsunade secretly supplying the children with marigolds and ammonia to get back at her old friend (Petty revenge is a bitch)

Orochimaru tricking Sai into calling Tsunade old

Tsunade never sending Jiraiya on that mission alone, she sent Kakashi with him and they managed to win the fight. Barely, they were in a coma for a few weeks, but they sure as hell won.

TSUNADE AND SAKURA BEING ABLE TO HEAL ITACHI AND THEN ITACHI WAS ADOPTED

HATAKE HOUSEHOLD OF PURE AND UNRESTRAINED CHAOS

[louisapennyfeather2021]

My thoughts as I watch Island Princess for the first time in ages;

That peacock is gay. No questions asked. He's a drag queen.

I hate the elephant. I really don't like her.

*happy dancing to Ro's song*

He has a pretty voice.

They were not as scared as they should've been with the crocodiles.

Buddy, you guys just met, why are you introducing her to your parents???

Why does he run like that???

Antonio, honey, I believe you shouldn't be forced to marry someone you don't want to, but we need to have a talk about the whole issue of loving someone you just met and not knowing anything about her.

She's not bad, she just wants to be happy.

SHE'S A SMOL BEAN🥺🥺🥺🥺

WHERE DID THE TREASON COME FROM?!?!

My girl was a gold digger.

Can this be a live action musical please?

This poor girl, her mother is absolutely horrible.

SHE'S SO SWEET 🥺🥺

YOU DID NOT JUST COMPARE RO TO A MONKEY, SHE'S A HUMAN BEING

I love Tallulah

Barbie is and will always be a ballerina no matter what she does and that makes the dancer in me happy.

I love her blue dress🥺

These poor kiddos, they know they won't be happy together but they're trying so hard to get along and being so kind about it.

Antonio is kind of an ass by asking Ro to dance with him at the ball. It puts her in the spotlight and makes of fool of Luciana.

I say let Antonio go on his adventures and let Ro and Luciana get married.

"Some people think that we're VEEEERRRMIIIINNNN!"

I hate this woman

So much

"Great kings must make hard decisions" THAT DOESN'T MEAN SACRIFICING HIS ENTIRE LIFE FOR YOU, YOU DUMB BITCH.

Tika is the ultimate Pick Me.

I love this little bird.

THESE POOR KIDS, THEY JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY

Miss girl just got caught

Antonio do be fit though

My man just spiderman jumped

Are we just going to ignore that Ro just casually and successfully threw a spear?

Luciana and Ro are 100% best friends in the end.

*have a minor panic because the movie I was watching ended before Ro could say Yes or meet her mom*

*calms down because I found an ending*

Luciana is my favorite character.

Ro's mom 100% adopted Luciana in the end.

It's weird watching this knowing what I do now, but 9/10 because I still don't like Tika.

[mfingenius]

an auguste lives au where the regent still abuses laurent and laurent is a smol hurt bean and he tells auguste about it and auguste proceeds to be the bamf that we all know he is and rip the regent apart with his bare hands as SHOULDVE BEEN CANON pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?

I LOVE YOU FOR THIS REQUEST YOU HAVE NO IDEA

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF CSA

“Laurent?” Laurent doesn’t really hear Auguste; he’s been quiet for a while now, curled in Auguste’s bed as Auguste responds to some letters from nearing Kingdoms from his desk. Laurent has a book in his hands - it’s old Veretian fairy tales. It used to be his favorite for Auguste to read him before bed, and he hasn’t touched it in years. He’d checked it out of the library to - comfort himself, perhaps. To try to bring himself some semblance of calm. It didn’t work. He’s not even reading anymore, merely staring blankly at the pages. “Laurent.”

His head snaps up, hearing Auguste this time. Auguste is looking at him strangely, and Laurent hates the way it makes his heart hammer in his chest.

“Everything alright?” He asks. Nothing’s alright; Uncle had - uncle touched him, the night before. Really touched him, not like the things he’d been doing before, not - not something Laurent can keep anymore.

Him and Laurent have always gotten along well; Uncle brings him gifts, and tells him he loves him, and is often his only company when Auguste and their father leave for long stretches of time to visit other kingdoms, something Laurent is deemed too young for.

He plays chess well and always seems to know how to entertain Laurent.

But last night… last night, he’d given Laurent wine - even though Auguste’s told him he’s too young to drink - and kissed him, and touched him while promising him that it’d be their little secret.

Laurent doesn’t keep secrets from Auguste; even if he tries, it’s futile. His brother knows him better than anyone else, and Laurent has never really wanted to keep a secret from Auguste. He’s the person he trusts most in the world.

Laurent doesn’t want to tell him about it; not because he doesn’t trust Auguste anymore, but because he’s ashamed. Deeply, terribly ashamed, horribly terrified, guilt and panic making his throat close up. He doesn’t want his brother to think less of him.

“What’s wrong?” Laurent hadn’t noticed, but Auguste’s left his desk and is now sitting beside him on the bed. When he goes to touch him - to comfort him by rubbing the back of his hand, as he always does - Laurent flinches and scrambles away. “Laurent, are you alright?”

Laurent had woken up this morning with a killer headache and a promise to himself that he’d never think - or speak - about this again. He’d spent the first half of the morning vomiting. The nausea hasn’t really faded, even if he hasn’t any more left to throw up.

“Laurent, you can tell me anything.” Auguste tells him, and there’s love in his tone as well as concern, but if Laurent tells him this, if Laurent tells him what he’s done, Auguste will hate him. He’ll be repulsed.

“I-” He can’t force words out. “I’m-”

Auguste doesn’t speak, lets Laurent breathe for what seems to be eternity, but cannot be more than a few minutes.

“Uncle touched me.” Heart beating in his ears, bile rising in his throat, looking away because he cannot look at Auguste when he says it, can’t see the reaction that it’ll surely force out of his brother. Disgust. Anger. He’ll hate you. 

The words are so quiet Laurent barely heard himself. He prays Auguste has heard him because he doesn’t think he can ever say the words again.

“What?” Auguste asks, but it’s evidently not because he hasn’t heard; his face is deathly white, and he’s looking at Laurent with a look Laurent has never seen on his brother.

Laurent doesn’t speak. 

“Laurent I - I’m - can I - hug you?” He asks. Laurent nods cautiously, and, finally safe in his brother’s arms, he breaks down.

*

They’re in the throne room when it’s announced.

“He’s dead,” Their father says, and he sounds shocked. “My brother is dead.”

Laurent’s head snaps up. After he’d told Auguste, Auguste had been practically sleeping in his rooms to make sure their Uncle didn’t dare step a foot in the place, and he’d accompanied Laurent everywhere, even let him in on meetings Laurent wasn’t allowed. Laurent never imagined… it couldn’t have been Auguste, could it?

“How?” Hennike asks, frowning, and Aleron begins speaking, but Laurent doesn’t pay attention. Their parents leave to announce it, and Laurent turns to Auguste, calmly sitting beside him through the entire exchange.

“Did you - was it - how?” Laurent asks.

Auguste is calm when he answers. “Slowly. He suffered.”

He knows, because Auguste had stood over him, watching him die and try to plead for help without an ounce of regret or compassion; Auguste, the golden prince, the most honorable of Veretians, had slipped poison into his uncle’s cup and made sure he knew, before he died, that it was because of Laurent.

That Auguste would make sure his head was on a spike before the castle, that he didn’t have a proper burial. That he got what he deserved.

And Auguste will make sure of it.

————————-

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Commissions

[silentfcknhill]

AtLA + LoK Villains Evilness Rating

(If you wanna dispute my ratings I’ll be happy to tell you why.)

ATLA:

Ty Lee - 0.5 /10

Cinnamon roll. Too pure for this world. Naïve and will put her faith in you 100%. Kind of ditzy but can take you down with no hard feelings. Needs to be liked by everyone. Is very flexible. Can strangle you with her legs and giggle while doing it. Chooses bad friends. Has frustratingly good luck. 

Uncle Iroh- 1/10

Actual angel but could still open up a can of whoop-ass if necessary. Too supportive and forgiving. Loves tea, sitting around, speaking in proverbs and leading by example. Probably considers you a friend. Surprisingly powerful but mostly peaceful. Hard to provoke but if you do, just run. Fear the nice ones. 

Jet- 3/10

Misguided and extreme but also traumatized. Don't get in his way. Kind of twisted and obsessive af. Ends justify the means, until they don't. Needs a proper role model and has potential. Can be unreasonable and is still kind of a jerk. Will gaslight you. 

Prince Zuko- 3.5/10

Conflicted, violent and angsty but mostly needs a lot of reassurance. Has a major boner for his honor. Will freak out over nothing. Has been through a lot and will not be underestimated. Grumpy and willful af and won't listen to you until it's too late, then will blame you for misleading him. 

June- 4/10 

Might beat you up or kidnap you for money but it's nothing personal. Might insult you as a way of flirting. Looks pretty and delicate but don't be fooled. Can beat you up in a split second and not break a sweat. Will probably take all your stuff and never give it back. Lives for the tough girl aesthetic. 

Mai- 5/10

Is just bored and over it all. Throwing knives is something to do. Apathetic and will probably just follow along with whatever including murder but will complain the entire time. Emo af. Would risk it all for a quick nap. Prone to bite your head off. Too smart for you and will let you know. 

Wan Shi Tong- 6.5/10

A total dick. Tired of your shit and is judging you. Thinks humans are garbage and won't get involved with them until it suits him. Don't touch his books or he will literally eat you. Nerdiest bastard. Doesn't trust you so don't try any shit with him. Sees through your pathetic lies. Kind of an elitist.

Combustion Man- 7/10 

Thinks blowing shit up is a form of art. Doesn't believe in communication. Very serious and focused. Do not fight him. Probably gets crapped on more than he deserves. A mystery wrapped in a bald head. Probably has a tattoo of the names of all the people he's killed and he's ready to add yours. 

Hama- 7.5/10

Traumatized old hag. Created bloodbending but too crazy to do much with it now. May kidnap you and keep you in a dank hole forever. Seems sweet at first but is hiding a lot of secrets. Don't eat her cooking. Thinks sitting at home scheming is a job. Hates you for whatever small thing you did to her 57 years ago. Forgets nothing. 

Long Feng- 8/10

Conniving af. Will brainwash you, lie to your face and maybe make you disappear. Wants everything and will plot to take it all. Perfectionist and control freak, will stab you in the back and you won't see it coming. Is tired of taking everyone's shit. Thinks he deserves better but he doesn't. Kills children. 

Admiral Zhao- 8/10 

Explosive temper. Huge egomaniac and narcissist. Hates the moon. Has probably killed a lot of people and fish and you're next. Will do whatever it takes. Won't listen to anything you say. Punch first, ask questions never. Jumps to a lot of conclusions, is usually wrong. Frequently embarrasses self. 

Koh the Face-Stealer- 8.5/10 

Terrifying and will probably steal your face. Do not approach. Too indifferent to chase you but can be sneaky af so watch your back. Doesn't handle emotions well. A total loner. The guy who knows everything but nobody wants to talk to. Fear him. To know him is to hate him. Makes you question everything. 

Firelord Azulon- 9/10 

Will order your execution on a whim and maybe a relative or two first for the appetizer. Do not question him. Will play favorites and call you out on things that are his fault. Overreacts and you should probably not be around when it happens. Disapproves of all your choices and is very vocal about this fact. Forces parents to kill their children. 

Firelord Sozin- 9/10

Will commit genocide and take over the world while yelling at you for minor shit. Kind of a petty and jealous asshole. Even if you think he is your friend he isn't and is going to attack you. A big old bully with bad breath and a wonky beard. The original starter of all drama and certified instigator shitlord. 

Princess Azula- 9/10 

Unstable and manipulative. Sadist who thrives off of your fear and suffering. Will hurt you badly in all the ways. Avoid at all costs. Acts cold and calculating but really has no chill. Demands your respect but won't earn it. Trolling you gives her pleasure. The spawn of satan and loving it. Mommy issues to infinity. 

Firelord Ozai- 9.5/10

Second worst dad ever. No soul. Will burn every tree and face to a crisp. Child abuse for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Actual sociopath. Will kill someone and banish you for it. Goatee comes first. Will project all his insecurities on you. Will tell everyone your secrets. World's biggest megalomaniac. 

LOK: 

Varrick- 3/10

Will probably lie, try to con you out of money, order you to do things for him and tell bad jokes but that's as far as it's gonna go. Eccentric and annoying af. Doesn't know when to shut up. Needs to learn some lessons in life. Attracts more trouble than he's worth. Has all the good gossip somehow. 

Bataar Jr.- 3/10

The guy that nobody likes because he tries too hard and ends up ruining everything. Enjoys being a bitch. Wants to rebel but is bad at it. Do you love me now father? Tries to act like he doesn't care what you think but cares way too much. Will not kill you but might get engaged to your ex to spite you. 

Police Chief Saikhan- 3.5/10 

Will do anything you say for a price, except give a fuck. Doesn't really care about anything. Might arrest you just because he doesn't like you. The type to pretend he didn't hear you just to avoid responsibility. Likes to yell into things. Hates helping people. Is actually a giant rock in disguise. 

Tahno- 3.5/10 

A total prick. Has nicer hair than you and won't let you forget it. Very flamboyant and arrogant. Will gloat over being better than you at everything even though he cheated every time. Talks mad shit but can't walk the walk. Ultimately a big baby. Lowkey protect him. Wants to be the cool kid but isn't cool. 

Desna- 4/10

Couldn't care less. Actual inanimate object. Lurks around for no reason. Hates everything and that includes you. Listens to his elders and would probably leave you for dead. Just wants to sleep. Secretly goth. Might actually be two small robots in a trenchcoat pretending to be human. 

Councilman Tarrlok- 4.5/10

Attention whore with a savior complex. Smol bean who wants approval. Acts arrogant but is secretly depressed and self-loathing af. Stubborn and clingy emotional wreck with impulse control issues. Needs a hug. Will probably manipulate you through guilt or charisma. Wants to be Lucius Malfoy, but cries at night. 

Hiroshi Sato- 5/10

Has lost sight of what's important. Total extremist. Will get revenge on you for something you didn't even do. Well respected and seems innocent but is plotting your downfall. Can build a whole army and take you down. Kind of a traitor. Loyalty is volatile. Thinks he always knows what's best for you but doesn't know shit. 

The Lieutenant- 5/10

In way over his head. Wants to make a difference but has let bitterness take over. Will probably electrocute you. Puts his faith in the wrong people. Kind of snobby and will hold a grudge. 99 problems and benders are about 98 of them. Tired of being pushed around but still lets himself be pushed around. FLOPPY MUSTACHE. 

Aiwei- 5.5/10 

Thinks he's better than you and probably isn't. Wants to be sneaky but really is just too predictable. Boring af and tries to be unique but fails miserably. Lets everyone take advantage of him. Don't lie to him. Will harbor resentment and take it out on you at a random point in time. Discount Long Feng but not as smart or ambitious. 

Eska- 5.5/10

Will stalk you aggressively. Thinks slavery is a relationship. Eyeliner sharp enough to kill. Never betray her or she will destroy you. Might use you as a footstool. Seems emotionally dead inside, but don't test her dormant waters. Uses everyone and feels no guilt. Hipster trash. No concept of boundaries or social interaction. 

Ghazan- 6/10

Sarcasm game strong enough to fatally wound you. Doesn't say much. Has tree trunks for limbs and will probably use them to throw lava and rocks at you. Lowkey protective af. Don't get on his bad side. You can't get on his good side. Would rather kill everyone including himself than let you win an argument. 

Zaheer- 6/10

A wannabe hippie but will still fight the system and you too. Don't try to control him. Gets annoyed when people breathe too loud. Is kind of a contradiction. Will literally blow you away. Anarchy equals freedom. Fuck the police. Can sit in the same spot for a really long time. Probably a flat earther. 

Ming-Hua- 7/10

Has a significant disability but can still easily slaughter you. Innovative and sneaky af. As fast and agile as an actual lemur. A natural disaster wherever she goes. Doesn't listen to your advice. Overcompensates a lot. Probably her own worst enemy. Is quiet and likes to eavesdrop on your business. 

Kuvira- 7.5/10 

Wants to control everything. Who invited her to poop the party? Highkey evil and just plain mean. Will use your corpse as a decoration if you get in her way. Secretly petty and superficial af. Thinks social bonding is trying to seduce you in order to take charge of your life. Individuality punishable by death. Even other villains hate her. 

P'Li- 7.5/10

Can explode you with her mind. Her gaze will pierce you to the core. Strong independent and violent woman who don't need a man but chooses to have one anyway. Will shave you off just like the sides of her hair. Has no problem fucking shit up. Boss bitch. Loyal to only a select few, so too bad for you. 

Amon- 8/10

Charismatic but scary and mysterious af. Huge hypocrite. Will silently judge you. Powerful, selfish and cruel. Manipulative as hell and uses intimidation to get you to comply. Pretends to have empathy but really just wants control. Will cripple you physically and emotionally without warning. Knows all of your weaknesses but none of his own. 

Earth Queen Hou-Ting- 8.5/10 

The actual worst. Eats your pets for supper. Her yelling is the #1 cause of deafness worldwide. Will keep you prisoner and then have you killed for looking at her. The bossiest Drama Queen ever. Will be the cause of all your misery and will be proud of it. Bark is the same as her bite. Lots of daddy issues. 

Chief Unalaq- 9/10 

Religious extremist. Actually batshit insane. Wants to destroy the entire world. Has ascended from this pathetic plane of human existence. Loner whose only friends are invisible. Wants you to think he's just shy and misunderstood but NOPE. Knows what you want to hear and says it. Will sell you to satan for one cornchip. 

Yakone- 9.5/10

Worst dad ever. Will either bloodbend you, try to live vicariously through you or both. Absolutely no redeeming traits except for being physically human. Abuse equals tough love. Might beat your ass for no good reason and expect your gratitude for it. Criminal mastermind with no conscience and all of the entitlement. 

Vaatu- 10/10

Actually the devil. Literal incarnation of darkness and chaos. Ultimate troll and force of disaster in the world. Doesn't know any better, but still an asshole by choice. Will use you until you're no longer of value. Has a hard-on for destruction. Likes to play the victim. Will consume your soul and burp loudly.

[prizmpaws]

locke kids masterlist 

finally copying @twistedm0th n doin this, these are all gijinkas from a platinum soul link nuzlocke. feel free to send asks for/about them whenever. also if i ever reblog oc ask memes, its for these bitches

current team

jax (crobat) - he/him. my starter. all the e boy aesthetic but without the shitty personality that usually comes with it. shitty homophobic parents trauma meets protag-who-literally-died-that-one-time trauma. bi n trans

neptune (swampert) - he/him. funkie pirate boy!! cuts the sleeves off of all his shirts to show off his muscles.so dedicated to his pirate aesthetic that he kept the pegleg even though he could easily get like. an actual prosthetic. trans n pan

sheba (torterra) - he/him. detective man! dad friend and also an actual father. couldn’t feel fear before he met his soulmates n now hes a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Very Concerned For These Kids’ Wellbeing. gay

elizabeth (torkoal) - she/they. usually just goes by liz. one of the weed smoking girlfriends. frequent ren faire attendee and occasional cosplayer. not necessarily tiktok famous but shes definitely had many a tiktok go viral. trans lesbian

kreios (nidorino) - he/they. pastel goth. wears skirts all the time n everyone goes “wow smol bean breaking gender roles so cute 🥺🥺🥺” n hes like 😐. loves to do their soulmates’ makeup. constantly vibrating with righteous anger. bi

adelaide (sceptile) - she/her. usually goes by addie. newest team member. quite possibly single handedly keeping her local boba shop in business. huge fan of clown husbandry, buys clown dolls from thrift shops and pretties em up n gives em names and personalities n stuff. bi

the living

petunia (poliwrath) - she/her. about 8 years old n already buff as hell. constantly covered in cartoon band aids, only about half of which she actually needs. communes with the dead on ocassion.

dante (lileep) - he/they. mans just wants to farm his radishes but someone *cough cough* @/twistedm0th’s avian *cough cough* keeps stealing them. probably also helping keep that boba shop in business. bi

haileigh (horsea) - she/her. horse girl. genuinely feral. she will bite you.

cato (vibrava) - he/they. thinks hes hot shit (spoiler alert: hes not) unironically pulls out his acoustic guitar during a party and starts playing wonderwall. probably a film major. bi

bahram (metang) - they/hy/it. like 8 or 9. they have a funky cool steel arm that looks like an actual metang’s arm. honestly dont have much for hym but uh. its very cool n i hope i get to use it more someday :3

bingus (dragonair) - they/th3y/ey/xe/chaos/grr/voi/dra/ae/.exe/rawr/glitch/null/pix/beep/txt/vae/ze/bingus. bingus. loves glitchcore and scenecore. obnoxious and over the top and just unabashedly themself. TYP3Z L1K3 TH1Z!!1! th3y are the best and i love em so much. probably commits war crimes on occasion but like. yk. are xey a replacement neo? perhaps. queer

alex (sandshrew) - they/he/she. genderfluid spy, goes by different variations of alex (alexander, alexis, lexi, etc) dependent on gender and also as fake identities when doing spy shit. pan

analise (nincada) - she/her. Mom Friend. pls be kind to her she is trying her very best but she is At Her Limit at all times. covered in band aids, very vague about whether or not they're just for the aesthetic. lesbian

esmerelda (exeggutor) - she/they/he. chill as hell. has a third eye n one of those funky pairs of sunglasses w an extra lens on top. teases her friends but shed hold ur hair at a party n compliment u n trashtalk ur shitty bf who just broke up w u. *sips drink through pink glittery curly straw that says “pussy”*. bi

the deceased

holly (azumarill) - she/her. 8 years old. her death still has jax fucked up despite the fact that she's come to him multiple times as a ghost and told him to move on. Baby.

rin (scyther) - he/him. royal knight and one of june (@/twistedm0th)’s caretakers. very analytical, the way i write him is def inspired by quibli wof. gay n trans

ryan (relicanth) - he/him. big buff fish man. may or may not be an accomplice to many crimes but that does not matter please dont ask him about it. bi n trans

neo (dragonair) - she/her. speak no evil. vigilante justice ass bitch. forces corporations to be disability accessible. homestuck cosplayer. also a big penelope scott fan. bi

iggy (shellder) - she/her. mom friend. so kind. will adopt you without hesitation. gives the best hugs. just wants to enjoy her hot cocoa and go ice skating with her wife who may or may not be involved in crimes in peace. lesbian

sylvester (dewgong) - he/him. glorified theatre kid. wears almost exclusively floral button ups and top hats. most recent death. i miss him :(. bi

lillith (houndoom) - she/her. is a prep rather than being emo like most houndoom bc shes ✨ quirky ✨. soulmates with an old god and a jock and she loves them both very much. bi