#not a major gripe of mine

[i-hate-everything-except-fandoms]

You know, I really wish they'd had the balls to kill Lewis when he got shot by the hired gun (although I am glad they at least thought to give him further protection).

Would've put things into a bit more perspective for Magnum about just how far he was willing to go to get answers. Also makes narrative sense in regards to his decision to hand the guy over to the US Marshall rather than kill him, as his actions would've already cost one life that day, rather than just relying on the fact that he's a good guy.

Feels like they're playing it a little too safe - this shit was bound to get messy.

[bougonia]

Overall I'm enjoying lockwood and co but also god it would be so much better if it had longer seasons. Like at least a few monster of the week style episodes at the beginning if the season.

It really just kind of feels like the characters don't have much time to bond and it makes some emotional moments fall flat. Like, sprinkle a little bit of low stakes bonding in there ffs

[nothorses]

I came across this paper:

https://www.academia.edu/71372307/Trans_masculinities_embodiments_performances_and_the_materiality_of_gender_in_times_of_change

I'm not well-versed in academic language so I can't really understand all of it, but it seems kind of gross and condescending, especially when it's using testimonials of transmasc's desire to be seen as men to, idk, prove that masculinity isn't really queer or something? I'm curious how other (smarter) people would interpret it.

I mean, your understanding of it is just as important as mine! I'm happy to add my thoughts, though.

My understanding is that their thesis is essentially "masculinity is related to maleness and the male body specifically, and we know that because transmascs want to have male bodies". They allow for some nuance here in references to other literature, and I agree with that angle of their argument overall, but their premise is fundamentally flawed in the exclusion of trans theory and trans narratives.

Like, yes, masculinity is in some way related to appearance and the "male body", and there are a lot of reasons for that! But is the dysphoria of trans people really ironclad "proof" of what maleness and masculinity are? And why don't they spend any time talking about what dysphoria actually is, what trans people think it is, why trans people think they feel the way they do, or what trans academics have to say about any of this?

I have a lot of other issues with this paper as well, and I could probably write a paper just as long as theirs going into all of the reasons for that. But I think that answers your biggest question; what they're trying to prove, how they're trying to prove it, and why that comes across so weird.

To your other question ("is it condescending?"): I think this is kind of subjective overlay, but the way they go about analyzing their data is pretty condescending, in my opinion. They tend to frame their participants' responses as kind of misguided or ill-informed, particularly Diniz- who they definitely discuss as "trying to justify his choices" to identify as nonbinary while also seeking medical transition, like this is inherently contradictory and must therefore rely on some kind of delusion or desperation. It's weird!

I do also want to point out, briefly, that they also really cherrypick which claims they bother sourcing, and how they try to back them up.

They argue that trans men have male privilege based on the opinions of, like, three of their 30 total participants- and then carry this as "fact" through the entire paper, uncontested. That's extremely fucking weird and super suspect in a paper like this! I just wrote my own qualitative research paper based on interviews (which is what this is), and it's pretty standard to acknowledge the limitations of your research, and to position your results as non-definitive. Like, that's been a major part of every discussion with everyone I've talked to about my research. I would not have been greenlit to receive my degree if I hadn't been careful to avoid framing my research the way these people frame theirs.

The other weird thing they do is cherrypick statistics- or rather, one single statistic- to "prove" that transmascs do not suffer as much as other trans people, or possess some kind of privilege. They only cite murder statistics from one source; apparently that's the only relevant metric for quantifying all oppression? They also fail to acknowledge any possible shortcomings of this statistic, like the issues of under-reporting and misgendering of transmasc victims.

I could go on; I have a lot of gripes. But I think your criticism is totally valid, this was a weird and frustrating read.

Also curious if @genderkoolaid has thoughts- you tend to talk about gender studies from an academic position more, and you probably have a lot more field-specific expertise than I do. I'll boost other additions too, I love a good academic discussion!

[olderthannetfic]

Writing about my favorite characters as transgender has opened my eyes to how many people in fandom are able to get away with actual transphobia without other people judging them for it, and after one particularly bad experience I feel like I can't participate in fandom without constantly having to check people's profiles and social media to see whether or not they might secretly hate trans people. The fandom I currently write for is relatively small compared to others, but somehow I still manage to catch a lot of casual transphobia, especially on my higher-kudos'd works. This didn't really bother me at first since most of the comments were misinformed but rather harmless otherwise, with most asking me to write a fic where the MC medically transitions to become their "real gender" as a sequel. Those comments were written politely, but the sentiment that a person's body designates their gender bothered me a lot. I specifically present the trans characters in my fics as pre-op or non-op without dysphoria in order to feel more comfortable about my own body, and I'm really tired of reiterating the reasons why I personally won’t create a fic where the MC undergoes a full medical transition. I would be thrilled if someone else wrote that, but it’s not a concept I have any interest in executing myself.

Usually the casual transmedicalism in my comments is my only real gripe about the attitudes towards transness in my fandom, but recently I joined a major fandom discord server and found out that they had a dedicated thread for bashing my work. (Well, to be more accurate they had a bunch of threads for bashing people's works, but mine had the most messages at the time.) I should have just left at that point, but I was curious to see if there was any valid criticism because honestly I don’t get a lot of constructive feedback on my newer stuff and I wanted to see if there was anywhere I could improve. Unfortunately, it was almost entirely just really hurtful comments, with many people making assumptions about my body and offline identity, calling me a fake trans person and a chaser for the things I've written. They kept going on about how I'm fetishizing transness, how I probably just wanted an excuse to write het smut with an M/M tag on it, how I'm probably not actually a trans man but an obsessed and misguided teenage girl instead. I've been on T for over two years now, but even if I wasn’t, their belief that all bodies like mine are basically "female" was really upsetting. Maybe I just happened to stumble upon a bad crowd, but at that moment I just really felt alone. I never expected to receive that kind of vitriol in such a small fandom - I have maybe like five or so people who follow my work closely, so it's not like I'm hitting super big numbers compared to others. I understand that my work might be dysphoria-inducing for other people, but I include warnings for language at the beginning of all my fics and I'm extremely thorough about tagging all the sex acts that take place. It's easy to filter out my work via additional tags if you don’t want to see it. But no matter how many measures I take to make others feel more comfortable, they still feel like I'm taking up too much space and mucking up the tags with my fanfiction.

Part of me feels like quitting after this experience, but I'm also a spiteful bastard and I think it would haunt me forever if I stopped now lol. I'm curious to know if you or any of your followers has ever dealt with a similar situation (as in, finding out there's a bunch of people who hate your work for shitty reasons), and if you have advice on how to continue interacting with others in fandom without constantly wondering if they hate me behind closed doors. I left the server already but I'm sure there's other things I can do that I'm forgetting. Thanks for reading!!

--

There will always be people who dislike you for silly reasons, and if your fic is popular, there will be a lot of them. The only way to deal with it is to just accept that this is normal and not think about them.

[comet-soda-lite]

I finally got around to watching Arcane season 2. Very beautiful, but I do have one major gripe: Vi shouldn't have ever given up on Powder. Not after everything.

She spent nearly a decade in a cell, her sister was all she had left. All she did, every moment, for years, was live for Powder. Then she gets out, and it's her one defining motivation. The whole world can burn for all she cares, as long as she can reach Powder, maybe get revenge on Silco for what he did to her family. She finally finds Powder, messed up, in pain, afraid. And she says over and over, she'll never give up on her, never leave her behind. And then, all of a sudden, in one shot of a cannon, she accepts that Powder's gone entirely. Not just that, she's willing to outright kill Jinx if they get the chance. Why? Where did any of this righteousness come from? Just because a few council members that never gave a shit about her got blown up?

The story doesn't even change if she doesn't give up on Powder. In this version, she accepts the enforcer badge as a way to prevent a full-scale invasion of the under city by joining the smaller task force, as she does in the show. Or maybe the invasion goes through and she does it in an attempt to access the under city while it's under said invasion, to reach Jinx easier. Either way, she's sick with herself over it, but she swallows it down, because it's a necessary evil to find her sister—instead of her having that weird shoehorned-in change of heart about Enforcers because one person acted all bright-eyed and nice to her.

She lies to Cait, telling her she understands Powder's gone, that it's only Jinx now. Because after what Jinx did, she knows Cait would never trust her if she still made it obvious she wanted to save Jinx. And Vi feels horribly guilty and conflicted over this too, because she knows she's the one who prevented Cait from taking the shot that would've saved her mother, but at the same time she doesn't regret it. In the fight underground, it goes the same way, Vi stops Cait from shooting at Jinx and Isha. Afterwards, Cait accuses Vi of not having given up on Powder at all, to which Vi stumbles over her words trying to deny it.

They have a falling out, Vi spirals in the same way. Jinx shows up in Vi's room, telling her about Vander being alive. And Vi goes to choke Jinx out, at her lowest point, barely lucid and faced with Jinx's cruelest "trick" yet. She almost can't see Powder in there anymore for the first time (despite the fact that in reality Powder's never been so close to the surface). At the last second, she lets go. She's distant, her guard's up, but she still follows her down to the mines. She can't let herself believe that after all this time chasing Powder, now Jinx has come right to her, asking for her help. And then they find Vander, and she finally lets herself believe it. Everything else proceeds the same.

Well ok, except, to me personally, Jinx doesn't die in the end, because she vehemently deserves to live. At every point she tries to throw away her life, she's not able to, and that means something. Yet, at the very end, the show allows her to throw away her life anyway, acting like its different because it's in self-sacrifice. And yeah, it is a little different, but it still doesn't feel right. Of course, maybe I just like happy endings too much, while Arcane—at least the story of Vi and Jinx—is a tragedy, if there ever was one.

EDIT: I have been informed Jinx survived, the above paragraph is cancelled. The rest of my post still stands, though.

[viking-raider]

Salt in Our Wounds - Chapter II

Summary-> You've brought the unconscious and injured man into your home. Now, you and Edmund attempt to get him medical attention, while figuring out who he is, and what side he's on.

Pairing-> Gus March-Phillipps/Reader

Word Count-> 4.8k

Chapters-> I

Warnings-> PG: Blood, Language, Infidelity, Fluff, Medical Treatment

Inspiration-> Since my favorite demon, @littlefreya, asked so nicely. The one and only Chaos Major, Gus March-Phillipps.

Author’s Note-> I hope you enjoy! Line divider by @FIREFLY-GRAPHICS!

-> If you would like to get notifications for my writing! Just follow my Tag List blog, @VIKING-RAIDER-TAGLIST as well as my @VIKING-RAIDER-LIBRARY and turn on the notifications for it! It’s that easy!’

“What are we going to tell Papa, Edmund?” You whispered, looking at him suddenly.

Edmund pushed his jaw forward and rubbed his palms over the steering wheel. “You just leave that to me, Peanut.” He replied, hitting the village round-a-bout. “I'll talk to him. What we need to worry about is how we're going to get his bullet wound treated.”

“Oh, no!” You gasped, feeling ridiculous for forgetting that.

“Relax.” Edmund cooed, turning onto your street. “I might have someone in mind, who could help us and keep their mouth shut.” He said, parking against your curb, instead of his.

“Who?” You frowned, blinking at him.

“Old man Tremblay.” He said, killing the engine. “He used to be the village's doctor, before his son-in-law, Thomas, took over for him. They both hate the Germans. So, I might be able to talk to Dr. Tremblay about coming over to the house. I'll say we need him to look at Pops. No offense to Thomas, but he's more comfortable with the old man, which is true. Once he's here, I'll explain the situation to him.”

“If he doesn't help us?” You asked, chewing on your lip, worried.

“Then, we'll wing it.” He huffed, shoving his door open and getting out.

“Wing it.” You sighed, your hands trembling. “Right. Wing it.” You gulped, getting out and meeting your brother at the tailgate. “What end are we picking up first?” You asked, quietly.

“I'll grab his top end.” Edmund replied, casually. “No need for you to drop the poor bastard on his head. He's got enough issues.” He sighed, climbing into the truck. “We all do.” He mumbled under his breath. “Go, open the front door.” He said, jerking his head towards your modest cottage.

“Fair.” You replied, scurrying over and pushing the door open. “Papa, me and Edmund are bringing something in! Don't close the door, please!” You called inside, before rushing back to the truck, helping Edmund with your load.

You slide him half off the truck, enabling you to wrap your arms around his knees and calves, before Edmund managed the rest. Shuffling across the sidewalk and turning, so Edmund went in first, you stepped over the threshold into the cottage, feeling the heat of the fire your father had roaring in the grate.

“What in God's sake are you two bringing in!” Your father griped from the sitting room, where he occupied his favorite armchair.

“I'll explain in a minute, Pops!” Edmund wheezed back, kicking open the door to the cellar. “You go down first.” He bid you with a jerk of his chin. “Your side vision is better than mine, so you hopefully won't stubble down the stairs, while looking over your shoulder.”

“That's fine.” You nodded, turning so you could carefully go down the narrow steps into the dark basement below.

It was slow and cumbersome, but you and Edmund made it to the bottom. You sat your package down and unwrapped him. There were no windows into the basement, so there wasn't a need to hide or conceal him anymore.

“We can't lay him on the floor, Edmund.” You hissed at him, quietly.

“We're not, silly!” He growled back, shaking his head. “Pops has a camp bed up in the attic. Go, get it and bring it down here. We'll set it up in the cellar, he can lay on it.”

Nodding, you went back upstairs, peeking at your father as you came up, but found, to your relief, he had dozed off. Going upstairs and down the hallway, you reached up for a cord hanging from the ceiling and pulled it, revealing a hidden, folded ladder, leading up to the half attic. It took a few minutes for you to finally find the folded up, military green and canvas, camp bed. Once you were back in the basement with it, Edmund had the cellar door open and was waiting for you. He put the bed together like an expert, having gone on countless camping trips with it over his life.

“That should do it.” He sighed, wiping his face. “Let's get him in it, then I'll go talk to Dr. Tremblay.”

“All right.” You sighed back. “He doesn't seem to be bleeding as much.” You commented, once he was resting in the bed.

“Seems so.” Edmund agreed, narrowing his eyes at the wound in the dim lighting. “Whether or not it's a good or bad sign is yet to be determined.”

“Then, you should hurry and get the doctor.” You urged him, brow creasing gently as you looked up at him.

“I'm going. I'm going.” He defended, holding his hands up. “Can't a man take a breather?” He asked, wide eyed.

You reached out and took Edmund's hand. “I'm sorry. I'm just-”

“I know, Peanut.” Edmund interrupted, shaking his head at you. “You have a heart worth more than gold, itself.” He said softly, bending to kiss the top of your head. “With luck, I'll be back soon with Dr. Tremblay.” He called, heading out.

“You hear that?” You said, looking at the man. “We're going to get you looked after. You'll be right as rain again soon.” You smiled at him, though you weren't sure why. “How about I grab you a blanket?” You continued to babble at him. “You might get blood on it though.” You frowned, biting the corner of your lip, but scurried upstairs for a blanket and pillow anyway.

“What's that for, Peanut?” Your father asked, still half dozing.

“Oh, I just thought the basement spirit would like something comfortable to nap with.” You answered, pausing at the basement door, smirking over at him, knowing he wasn't listening.

“That's nice of you, love.” He slurred, head lolling forward.

You chuckled, continuing on. “Well, my father now thinks the basement is haunted.” You quipped, lightly spreading the blanket over your new housemate, then gently tucked the pillow under his head, noticing how sweaty his unruly, but short, curls were. “You've caught a fever.” You cooed, turning your hand to delicately rest it on his damp forehead. “Thankfully, it's cool down here.” You said, using the cuff of your blouse to dab at his sweaty brow.

“I'll be right back.” You hurried back upstairs, to the kitchen.

You grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and a dish towel from its hanger. Tossing the towel over your shoulder, you filled the bowl halfway with water and turned to the ice box and chipped ice from it, dropping some into the bowl. You made two trips between the upstairs and the cellar, taking a chair down there, before taking down the chilled water, so you had something to sit on as you gingerly dabbed his flushed forehead and face.

“Well, whoever you are.” You said, balancing the bowl in your lap. “It's a right mess this is.” You chuckled, before introducing yourself, feeling silly just sitting there in the silence. “I hope you're on our side or Edmund is going to have us both shot.”

Some of the heat in his skin cooled as you lightly draped the folded dish towel over his forehead, making you relieved to see him not so flushed.

You heard the door upstairs creak open and the floorboards overhead groan as heavy feet strode and shuffled over them. “That must be Edmund with Dr. Tremblay.” You commented, looking up at the dusty ceiling. “I should go up and check on them.” You said, standing up, setting the now warm bowl of water in your place on the chair.

“Edmund?” You called softly, appearing in the kitchen, where he was standing with a short, gray haired man, dressed in a wrinkled, brown three piece suit.

“Sshh.” He hushed you, casting an eye towards the sitting room and waved you closer. “As I was saying, Dr. Tremblay, I've brought you here not for my father, but for another matter entirely.” He continued, his voice low so as not to disturb your father.

Dr. Tremblay's bushy brows drew closer together, reminding you of a caterpillar. “Is that so?” He hummed, bringing his arthritic hand up to his chin. “Then, what was it you summoned me here for?”

Edmund's eyes twitched to yours for a moment, you nodded at him and he looked back to the good doctor. “I know you have no love for our occupiers, Dr. Tremblay, like I, myself, don't.”

“Ha!” He laughed, his head tipping back as he grinned. “Fripouilles!” He spat, with no small amount of venom.

“I agree, sir.” Edmund chuckled, smirking. “But, to the heart of the matter. My dear sister here, on her daily morning walk along the beach found something—someone, washed ashore.” He explained, his voice calm and steady, revealing no emotion or opinion. “We're sure he's of our morals. But he's been injured.”

“Injured?” Dr. Tremblay frowned, narrowing his ordinarily kind, but currently and understandably suspicious, brown eyes at him. “Injured how? Show me.”

“I would rather tell you.” Edmund answered, biting his lip. “In case, you wish not to have any further dealings in this matter.”

“Nonsense!” Tremblay huffed, waving his hand dismissively at the two of you. “Let me see this man.”

Edmund didn't move for a moment, before nodding and leading him down the basement stairs. “He was shot in the side.” He explained, entering the cellar, where your guest laid.

“I discovered he'd developed a fever.” You spoke up from the door. “So, I applied a cool compress to his skin.”

“That was a good thing.” Dr. Tremblay answered, distractedly, folding back the blanket and resting his hands on the man's injured side. “Has he regained consciousness at any time?”

“No.” Edmund replied, shaking his head and looking at you.

“He hasn't.” You confirmed, nervously.

Dr. Tremblay pulled a pair of wired spectacles out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket, before untucking the shirt from the unconscious man's trousers, for a clearer view, and began fussing around the wound. “Help me turn him on his side, Edmund.” He bid, waving your brother over. “Yes, good. Very good.” He nodded, examining his back. “The bullet went clean through to the other side.” He said, indicating the exit area, just above his hip.

“Then, why is he still comatose?” You asked, concerned.

“He may have struck his head on something, while in the water.” He answered, allowing Edmund to rest him on his back, before moving up to his head and gently working his fingers through his curls, feeling for any bumps or soft spots on his scalp. “Ah, just here.” He smiled, finding a faint knot at the back, just behind his left ear.

“Well, get my bag from upstairs. I'll treat him.” Tremblay sighed at Edmund. “Are you squeamish, young lady?” He asked, while he pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.

You thought of the Patrol Officer for a split second, before answering him. “No, sir. I am not.”

“Very good.” He said, crooking a finger at you. “You'll be taking care of this, when I'm not here to check on him.” He informed you, bluntly.

“That's fine.” You gulped, biting your lip and moving to stand beside him. “What will I need to do?”

“The dressing on both the entry and exit wounds will need to be changed.” He explained to you, calmly. “You'll make sure there's no sign of infection or the stitches I need to put in place have not come untied. As well as keep them clean.”

You nodded your head, somewhat apprehensive at the thought of doing all of this, but knew there was no other option, if you wanted to keep this man alive.

“You were correct in assuming he has a fever.” Dr. Tremblay said, lifting the damp towel and laying his hand on the man's forehead, feeling the heat there. “It's possible there's an infection in his wound from his time in the water.” He replaced the towel and looked up at Edmund as he rejoined the two of you, holding Tremblay's black, large and leather doctor's bag.

“I will show you how to give him penicillin shots.” He told you, taking his bag and setting it down between his feet.

“You mean with a needle?” You squeaked, startled, looking over at Edmund.

“Certainly not with a glass, mon chéri.” Tremblay chuckled, grinning at the contents of his bag.

The seasoned doctor removed an emerald, glass bottle of liquid antiseptic, a small package of silk sutures with a wickedly sharp needle, a tiny vial of a clear substance and a glass syringe. He laid them out on a small space on the bed, turning his attention back to the angry looking entry wound.

“Do you have any hand towels you could part with?” He asked, looking up at you. “It will help me clean these wounds.”

“Yes, of course.” You nodded, darting back upstairs and grabbing a couple of the dish towels you had that were in sad condition, bringing them back down as Edmund was wrestling an old nightstand into the room.

“Give him something to put his instruments on.” He explained to your expression.

“Ah.” You nodded, understanding.

Everything set up, you watched closely as Dr. Tremblay drew the milky antibiotic through into the syringe, pushing up the plunger slightly to remove any air, then set it aside and studied his patient for a moment, before letting out a sigh that sounded as if he was inconvenienced.

“We must remove his trousers.” He said, tapping his foot.

“Why?” Edmund blurted out, brows going up with surprised shock.

“So I may administer the shot to him.” Tremblay replied, with an air of impatience.

“Well!” Edmund started to protest.

“Men!” You huffed, shaking your head.

“Don't you dare!” He snapped at you, watching as you moved around the good doctor and removed the blanket you had laid over the injured man, but you ignored him.

First, untying his boots and dropping them at the foot of the bed, then reached up and unbuttoned his suspenders, followed by the button of his trousers.

“What if he's not wearing an undergarment?” Your brother protested further.

“Then, we will be finding out presently, brother.” You replied, shooting him a look as you tugged the zipper down, much to your relief finding the hint of white and blue striped shorts. “See, you're fretting for nothing.” You said, tugging the rough wool pants down off his surprisingly thick thighs.

“Possibly of questionable allegiance, but properly dressed.” You quipped, folding them.

“Watch closely, mon chéri.” Tremblay hummed and picked the syringe back up, with a practiced hand, squeezed the muscle at the top of his thigh and injected him, slowly pushing down the plunger. “That is how it is done.” He said, looking up at you.

“It seems simple enough.” You answered, attempting to appear confident in your ability to replicate it.

“Very good.” He nodded, turning his bespeckled eyes to the bullet wound on the man's abdomen.

Grabbing one of the hand towels you set on the table, he poured antiseptic on it and pressed it to the wound, eliciting one of the first major reactions out of your beached stranger with the stinging liquid to the open and bleeding puncture. He whined, brows drawing together as he shook his head, sluggishly lifting his hand. You moved back around to the head of the bed, hushing him gently and picking up the now wilted towel as it slipped from his forehead. You caressed his damp curls off his forehead and temple, attempting to offer some semblance of comfort as Dr. Tremblay continued to disinfect his wound and the area around it.

“You're all right.” You whispered to him, quietly. “We're just trying to help you.” You tried to explain to him, not sure if he could hear you or not. “You're safe here with us.” You mumbled, watching Tremblay set the cloth aside to pick up the needle and thread, you unconsciously took the man's limp hand in yours and hugged it to your chest.

“Is there no more light to be had in this room, Edmund!” Tremblay asked, leaning forward to stare at the wound in the dusky light of the single, naked bulb overhead.

“I may be able to find you a lantern.” Edmund replied, turning back into the basement and rummaged around the items, until he found an oil lamp. He shook it gently, hearing what oil that was left inside slosh about. “I found it!” He called out, before going upstairs, setting that lamp on the kitchen counter and crossing into the sitting room, where the once roaring fire was, but now only flickered.

He took one of the fire sticks from the holder bolted to the brick that made up the fireplace and lit it with one of the remaining flames. Carefully carrying it back to the lamp, Edmund lit its soaked wick and blew the fire stick out, before tossing it into the sink.

“Here.” Edmund sighed, setting the lamp down on the table. “I hope it's enough.”

“Yes, yes.” The doctor nodded, satisfied.

With all he needed, Tremblay squinted and made the first pick of the needle. The patient huffed, his stomach muscles flexing in response, but it didn't deter Dr. Tremblay in the slightest as he continued. You stroked his forearm and squeezed his hand, watching with an uneasy stomach as the old doctor made smooth sutures. Those sutures placed, Edmund helped roll him onto his side, so the wound on his lower back could be likewise treated with antiseptic and stitched closed.

“I will come back in a day or two, to check on his wound and ensure the fever has broken. Give him the next shot in the morning.” Tremblay said, arranging his bag and closing it. “Should he grow worse in that time, send for me.”

“We will.” You answered, staring down at him, concerned with the flush to his face.

Edmund showed the kind doctor back upstairs, while you gently tended to your sick house guest. Carefully pulling down his shirt and covering him back up, as not to leave him only laying in the camp bed in a long sleeved shirt and his boxers. Picking up the basin of water, you carried it back upstairs and dumped it out in the sink, refilling it with fresh water and a little ice, before taking it back to the cellar, resting it on the table. Dipping the folded cloth in the chilled water and ringing it out, then gently pressing it to his flushed and bearded cheeks wiping away the droplets of blossoming sweat at his brow.

“He's going to need some nursing.” You said, hearing your brother coming back.

“I can see that.” Edmund replied, folding his arms and leaning against the door frame.

“Is there any prospect of finding him a more comfortable bed?” You asked Edmund, looking the camp bed over, how it dipped under his weight, the only support were the ties that kept the canvas middle secure to the frame.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Between both houses, while Willa and I have a guest bed, that he's not welcome to, for obvious reasons. We don't have a bed to spare.” He told you, but saw the glint in your eye. “I could piece something for him.” He continued, stopping you from asking the question that was on the tip of your tongue. “Topping it with the mattress from my spare bed.”

“That would be better for him, I think.” You said, worried about the safety of the sutures on his back.

“Well, for now, it'll have to wait until tomorrow.” Edmund sighed, scratching the underside of his jaw. “It's your turn to make dinner tonight, by the way.” He reminded you, watching you fuss with the stranger as if he was someone you knew.

“I remember, brother.” You replied, catching the edge in his voice. “I got a good bit of minced beef from Remi last afternoon, with some Swedes.” You told him, dipping the cloth in the cool basin, then lightly laid it over the resting man's forehead. “Juliette told me a recipe yesterday as well. It's called Beef Loaf.” You stood, planting your hands on your hips and massaging the small of your back, sore from so much bending.

“I thought we would try it tonight.” You said, turning towards him, with a lifted brow.

“Sounds interesting.” He answered, cocking a brow back at you. “You should get to it.” He added, looking at his watch. “Supper starts in two hours. You know how the Major is, when dinner isn't prompt.”

You chuckled softly, nodding. “Yes, I do.” You replied, casting your eyes down to your soiled skirt. “But, I should change first. If he sees me like this, he'll likely ask questions.”

“Very true.” Edmund nodded, squinting at your skirt and just making out the stains. “Off you trot, then. I'll stay with our friend for a little while, in case he wakes.” He sighed, pushing off the door frame towards the chair. “You mind popping over to my place and grabbing my sketch pad, after you're finished freshening up? I need to make some figures on the shelves I'm putting down here.”

“Of course.” You nodded, picking the basin. “Do you have another lantern or oil? So you have more light to work by?”

“I believe so.” He frowned, slouching in the chair. “Willa can find them.”

Nodding again, you left back upstairs, setting the bowl in the sink and headed up to your bedroom. Sighing, you unbuttoned your skirt and let it slip in a puddle around your ankles, before stepping out of it and opened your little closet. Reaching blindly in for a fresh skirt, pulling out a wool, black and green, plaid skirt and slipped it on. Smoothing your hands over the garment, you hurried outside and to Edmund and Willa's home across the street, knocking lightly as you pushed the door open.

“Willa!” You called out for your sister-in-law, looking about for the slight brunette. “Lila!” You shouted, crossing to the back of the house, where they had a small garden, finding your sister-in-law there. She sat at a small table, slightly sideways in her chair, as she held one of her Debs Rose-Tips between her slender fingers, her eyes staring off over the garden wall.

“Willa.” You hailed, stepping out onto the patio.

Head jerking as she startled and taking a deep breath, Willa blinked several times and looked around at you. “Oh, it's you.” She sighed, rolling her hazel eyes. “What do you want?”

“I came for Edmund's sketch book. I also wanted to know if you had a lantern or lantern oil?” You explained to her, ignoring her look of annoyance at being bothered in whatever she was doing.

“Fine.” Willa huffed, standing up and heading inside, you following after her.

Willa opened a closet in the living room, removing a lantern and a bottle of oil, handing them over to you, before finding Edmund's sketch pad and his graphite pencil in the kitchen, motioning to them. “Will my husband need anything else?” She asked, with an air of almost callousness.

“I should think not.” You answered, taking the book and pencil up. “I'll have dinner ready soon.” You informed her, juggling all of your items. “If you're going to grace us with your presence.” You added, with an edge of your own.

“I'll think about it.” She answered, lifting an arched brow at you.

“Right, I'll have Edmund get you, when it's finished.” You said, turning for the door. “If not, I'll make you a plate.”

You were gently turning out the mixture of mince meat, dry breadcrumbs, fine onion, an egg, a pinch of salt and a can of cream of mushroom into your four by eight loaf pan, when your brother came tromping up the basement stairs.

“You'll wake the dead with all that noise, Captain.” You quipped, lightly patting the meat concoction into shape in the pan.

“That I will.” Edmund chuckled, moving to stand beside you, peeking over your shoulder to see in the baking pan. “Is that the beef loaf?” He asked, giving it a questionable brow lift.

“It is.” You nodded, sighing at it, praying you had mixed it all properly. “Now, it's supposed to cook for an hour.”

“Well, hopefully it'll look prettier by then.” Edmund chuckled, smirking at you, then brought up his sketch pad. “I finished up the drawing for the shelves down there. What do you think?” He asked, cocking his head at the dark lines.

Opening the blazing oven and grabbing the pan in a thick towel, you paused for a moment to give your brother's picture a look. “They look good, Eddie.” You told him, smiling encouragingly, bending to slide the pan onto the middle rack and shut the door. “How are we to open and close the secret door you've made there?” You asked, pointing it out, careful not to touch it so you didn't smudge the graphite.

“The lock is magnetic.” He replied, pointing it out in the sketch. “We'll put something on the shelf that'll connect to it, so when it's moved, the mechanism is tripped and the door swings up.”

“That's pretty incredible.” You grinned, enchanted by the whole thing.

“It shouldn't take me more than two days to build.” Edmund said, sounding as confident as he could as he examined the drawing a bit more, slowly turning away to head over to the kitchen table, seating himself to refine it a bit more.

“What are we building?” Your father's voice asked as he made careful steps coming down stairs.

You and Edmund exchanged a quick glance at each other and you turned away to mind the violet and dusky yellow Swedes that sat boiling in a pot of salted water top of the stove. There was a lump in your throat, waiting to hear what excuse Edmund was going to give your father for the changes downstairs in the basement. Neither of you really worried about him going down there, he struggled with stairs because of his advancing arthritis, choosing to sleep in his armchair in the sitting room most nights and only making the arduous journey upstairs to his bedroom when he needed to change his clothes or shower.

However any change to the house, seen or unseen, would draw his attention.

“I'm going to build some shelves against the cellar wall, in the basement, for her.” Edmund replied, calmly, making an adjustment to his plans. “So she can tidy things up a bit down there.”

“And what of the cellar?” Mael asked, shuffling over to his chair.

“We haven't used it once for anything since we lived here, Pops.” He chuckled, smirking at the old man's back. “Might as well close it up.”

Mael made a sound as he lowered himself into his chair, something between a dismissive grunt and a stiff groan. “Very well.” He sighed, settling himself and tossing his knitted blanket over his lap. “If it makes Peanut happy.”

You chucked, smiling. “It does, Papa.” You assured him, draining the water out of the Swedes pot and looking over your shoulder at Edmund, who winked at you.

Mashing the Swedes and getting them nice and creamy, you set them aside and checked the Beef Loaf. Opening the oven door and filling the space with a rather mouthwatering aroma, but the dish still needed a few more minutes to cook, so you shut door and started pulling down plates, setting them on the stove to warm up.

“Dinner will be ready soon.” You announced to Edmund and your father. “Do you want to see if Willa is joining us?” You asked Edmund, biting the corner of your lip.

Edmund took a deep breath, setting his pencil down and rubbed at the smudged graphite dust on his fingers for a moment. “I think we both know the answer to that, sister.” He mumbled, a hardness coming to his eyes.

“I suppose.” You whispered back, heart sore for him. “I'll make a plate for her.”

“Best bet.” He sighed, pushing his chair back and standing, moving over to the sink to wash his hands.

[parisiterileymoon]

Angel dust x male reader

Set in the 40s, Im a sucker for a good forbidden romance. (We are all freinds of Dorothy here;])

C/W:mafia, period accurate homophobia, suggestive material(implied fornication), murder, someone gets dragged by the hair, major character death, guns, google translate Italian.

~~

Anthony. His name rolled of the tongue. Anthony. An~tho~ny. When you looked at him, your stomach twisted in knots. You both got out of having to serve in the war due to belonging to the mafia. If anyone found out about your little affaire, you would surely be killed. You looked down to see your beloved Tony curled in the fetal position away from you in bed. "What, was I that bad?" you asked him, only half joking. "Nah toots, I'm just tired. It's...damn what time is it?" "uhhh- how do you not have a clock somewhere in here?" you rolled out of bed with a thunk, pulling on a pair of boxers and looked for your watch. "HA! Found it. Itssss 1:00 AM? Good god!" you laugh, placing your watch back on the floor with the rest of your clothes. All of a sudden you hear footsteps. Not like light and quick like Molly's but heavy and slow like... Henry. Anthony's father. You see, Molly was the only person who knew about you and Anthony. You frantically look around, hopping into the closet. His father bursts into the room. "Anthony, who is in here." you watch your lover panic. "Nobody, pa! I swear! It's just me!" "Questa è una fottuta stronzata Anthony e lo sai, don't lie to me boy!" he begins to look around and his eyes land on the closet. It's as if he can stare straight through your soul. Your palms begin to sweat and tears well in your eyes. Henry pretty much tares the door of the closet off. He pushes you to the ground. "YOU! YOU TURNED MY SON INTO A QUEER" you look at Anthony, sweet Anthony. For a split second you look in his eyes and feel safe. But than Henry kicked you in the stomach and grabs your hair. "PA STOP HE DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'" Anthony cries and drops to the floor, cradling your face. Henry kicks him away from you and begins dragging you outside. "NO PLEASE- PLEASE LET ME GO I'M SORRY" Anthony tries to run after you but his father pulls a gun out of his back pocket "you step one foot closer to me and I shoot you and the fag." "no..." tony falls to his knees. "No pa please..." "anthony I'm gonna be ok" you say, crying. Henry Yanks your hair. "WHO SAID YOU COULD SPEAK QUEER" he pulls you outside and throws you into the mud. He points his gun at you. "No son of mine... No son if mine will be a damn queer. I'm doing the world a favor by making sure you turn no more good men. Any last words?" you look over Henry's shoulder at your lover, screaming and protesting for his father to stop, and you smile at him. "Anthony," you reach out for him "find me on the other side". The last thing you see is your beloved Tony sobbing as he falls for his knees, crying your name. Your life flashes before your eyes as you feel a sharp and unbearable pain in your head. Than, almost like magic, you feel an odd sence of peace. You feel warm and comforted. You see a light. It was almost blinding. Somehow you knew... This... This is heaven.

Would he find you? No. No he wouldn't.

~~

A/N: if you have any gripes, please comment! Constructive criticism is highly appreciated<3

[bruh-changbin]

ivy league

pairing: uni boyfriend!hyunjin x afab reader

genre: fluff + smut (minors dni)

warnings: fingering (f receiving), public sex, lowkey exhibitionism, oral sex (m receiving), snowballing (tis’ the season), little bit of cum eating, unprotected sex (be safe), piv, creampie, tit sucking, both are kinda switches?, alcohol consumption

word count: 5.8K

a/n: HAPPY NEW YEAR MOFOS!!! my new years resolution is to find out why hyunjin is so fucking hard to write for 😻 maybe it’s bc his personality is kinda all over the place or maybe i just suck but anyways i hope i did him justice. (also for the sake of this fic pls pretend he still has long brown hair bc that was my fav look on him ever)i do apologize as this was supposed to be posted right after new years but i have been a busy busy gal as of late. nevertheless, i hope you enjoy (also apologies if this posts weird tumblr is being A MAJOR PAIN IN THE ASS AS I TRY TO EDIT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

photos not mine, credit to original owners (retrieved from pinterest)

studying away from home was always a dream of yours. there’s something so enticing about living and learning in a new city that piques your interest. when you got an acceptance letter from an ivy league school a few hours away from your hometown, you didn’t think twice before enrolling. 

only then did you find out that 90% of the student body at ivy league schools - or any high status campus, really - are insufferable. there are wannabe jane austen’s and christopher nolan’s at every turn, griping about how getting a 98% on their most recent paper just isn’t good enough (news flash: it is). 

ergo, every time you’ve tried to befriend someone you met in the student centre or library or in one of your lectures you’ve discovered they’re too obsessed with their status to even hold a proper conversation with you. there’s only one person who makes studying here at least somewhat bearable: hwang hyunjin.

you met hyunjin in september, a mere 2 days before classes were set to begin for the fall semester. it was somewhat unfortunate, your first encounter, seeing as it entailed you spilling your iced french vanilla all over hyunjin’s silky white button up top. you were trying to shove your wallet back into your bag as you left a coffee shop and he was enthralled in his phone, both of you too distracted to notice the other before colliding. 

you both apologized profusely, you for being careless and him for being in the way (he wasn’t) until you insisted he came to your apartment to get cleaned up since it’s only a 3 minute walk away, i feel horrible for ruining your clothes. 

he complied, and you led him to your small studio apartment, giving him some privacy to shower and steal whatever clothes in your closet that fit him. 

when he stepped out of your bathroom, hair still damp and skin glowing, the rounds of i’m so sorry’s started up again as you handed him back his shirt, now with a large coffee stain on the chest that even your tide pen couldn’t tackle. he grabbed his shirt before chuckling, revealing that he too was a frequent customer of the cafe you were at and often opted to go there instead of indulging in the overpriced shit they sell on campus. 

upon discovering that you were both students at the same university you got to talking, which led to hyunjin staying for dinner at your place, which led to an impromptu make-out session on your second-hand couch. when you made it known that you wanted to take things further, he initially declined because hey, i’m not that kind of guy. in the end he couldn’t keep his hands off of you and you were more than happy to lead him down the hallway to your bedroom. 

soon after he had you writhing under your cotton bed sheets while making you cum on his tongue… and his fingers and his cock. his shaggy, shoulder length mocha hair felt like silk in between your fingers and the whines and whimpers he let out when you tugged on it sounded like heaven.

so, your first encounter with hyunjin was a catastrophe turned fuck session turned we should do this again sometime…

now it’s the heart of winter and you’re about to sock your boyfriend in the jaw when you see him leaning against the brick exterior of your lecture hall, the tips of his ears stained cherry red and his breath passing his lips in the form of a cloud.

“hyunjin i told you to stop waiting for me outside of my lecture hall’s, you’re seriously gonna get frostbite!” you emphasize by pinching his frozen ears - he winces.

“what happened to hello? how are you?” he complains before slipping his hand into the pocket of your puffer jacket and intertwining his fingers with yours; his hands are so cold you flinch.

“well sorry i don’t want you to get sick,” you roll your eyes while shoving your headphones into your tote bag, not needing them now that hyunjin has graced you with his presence, “and you know that class always puts me in a bad mood.”

“ahh yes that’s the one with the, what was it, douchey prof and even douchier students, right?”

“that’s the one.” you sniffle, nose going numb from the cold wind biting at your face as you let hyunjin drag you across campus to god knows where.

“well turn that frown upside down, i’m about to treat you to the most romantic study date ever,” hyunjin asserts while pulling you in the direction of the student lounge, careful not to walk too quickly so you don’t slip on the ice hidden underneath the blanket of snow on the ground.

although the trek from your lecture hall to the student common room is quite short, only subjecting you to the outside weather conditions for a mere minute or two, you rejoice when you step inside and regain shelter from the cold. a blast of hot air greets you and hyunjin shakes the snow off of his perfectly styled hair, retracting his hand from your jacket pocket.

the two of you make your way down the corridor before waltzing into the main study area of the student lounge, seating yourself on a worn in brown leather couch. 

once your winter jacket is discarded you pull your textbook out of your bag, using your peripherals to watch hyunjin pull out his laptop and begin editing photos for his photography class.

it’s serene; watching the snow fall through the window to your left, feeling the warmth radiating from hyunjin who’s sitting to your right. the feeling of hyunjin’s hand (which is still quite cold) on your knee comforts you and you immerse yourself in the words of your textbook, wanting to catch up on the chapters you were supposed to read for this week but didn’t have the time or patience to.

alas, you should’ve known that hyunjin had… other intentions when he said he was taking you on the most romantic study date ever. it only takes a few minutes before you feel his hand inching its way up your leg. 

his eager fingers dance across your thigh before groping your pelvis, causing you to clamp your legs shut in surprise, trapping your boyfriend’s hand in between them.

“are you fucking kidding me hyunjin? we’re in public…”

hyunjin scans the vicinity of the student lounge, which, admittedly, there are only two other students present, both so absorbed in their respective textbooks that they’re practically drooling. but that doesn’t mean you’re about to let him finger bang you in a public area in front of your fellow students. 

“what, you don’t wanna show everyone how well you take my fingers?” by now his index and middle fingers are playing with the waistband of your panties, waiting for you to give the go ahead before dipping underneath.

“come on, let me play with you.”

try as you may, you can’t resist the twisting of your stomach and the pitter-patter of your heart at hyunjin’s words. by now your pussy is leaking indefinitely and you shift in your spot in a pathetic attempt to alleviate the dull throbbing you feel in your pelvis.  

the more you squirm the more pressure you feel from hyunjin’s hand trapped in between your thighs, the heel of his palm pushing against your cunt that’s becoming more sensitive by the second. 

a pleasure induced haze clouds your brain and soon enough you’ve convinced yourself that hyunjin fingering you in the student lounge is in fact a good idea. it’s not like anyone can see you, right? you’re sandwiched between the wall and hyunjin, who’s broad shoulders block you from the curious gaze of others - no one would be the wiser. 

with a bashful look on your face you ease your legs open, granting hyunjin access to your sticky panties and aching clit. the dexterity in which hyunjin’s hand pushes past your waistband and into the dripping folds of your cunt almost gives you whiplash.  

like the little bitch he is he teases you for several moments, the tip of his index finger drawing lazy circles around your clit before gliding down to your hole and then back up again, never giving you what you actually want. 

you know hyunjin’s enjoying watching you twitch and shift in your seat as he plays with your cunt; even more so does he enjoy watching you bite back a frustrated whine when he pulls his hand from you entirely, takes a second to coat his digits in his own saliva by sucking on them, and shove his hand back down your pants.

with help from hyunjin’s makeshift lube his slender spit-covered fingers slip inside of you with little resistance, causing your stomach to flutter and churn. the stretch is subtle yet pleasurable and your body automatically folds in on itself: head hung low, knees knocking together, back hunched. 

if anyone were to walk by they would hopefully assume that you’re just worn out from the end of semester stress and not clue in on the fact that your boyfriend is knuckle deep in your pussy. 

hyunjin starts with small movements, his finger gliding in and out of you slowly while curling upwards in a ‘come-hither’ type motion. he’s trying to make his movements as undetectable as possible, struggling against your tight cunt that sucks him in with each and every thrust of his fingers. 

lucky for you your lover was blessed with long fingers, ones that reach so deep inside of you with so little effort that it makes the room spin. little shocks rock your body when hyunjin fully sheathes his index and middle fingers inside of you, the cold metal of the rings adorning his fingers a stark contrast to your hot wet pussy.

the pace of hyunjin’s fingers quickens; your bottom lip stings from how hard you’re biting down on it. your breath leaves you in the form of forced exhales through your nose, the urge to say fuck it and moan aloud for all of your peers to hear becoming almost irresistible and you pray that hyunjin’s going to make you finish before you do something you’ll regret. 

hyunjin pushes his fingers impossibly deeper into you, the heel of his palm now providing the most delicious friction on your neglected clit. you resist the urge to grind your hips against his hand. 

“are you close?” hyunjin whispers, his plush lips caressing the shell of your ear and sending shivers down your spine. how long has his face been that close to yours? you think, but you’re too out of it to turn your thoughts into words. you just nod frantically, eyes rolling backwards as your impending orgasm looms closer and closer.

the sensation of hyunjin’s fingers pistoning in and of you and his palm bumping your clit is enough to quickly send you over the edge, biting the inside of your cheek so hard you can taste the metallic tang of blood against your tongue. 

you cream all over his fingers while sucking in a breath so big it hurts your lungs so as to prevent yourself from making any noise. the grip you have on hyunjins wrist goes limp and you wince as he pulls his fingers from you, placing a chaste kiss on your temple as if to say i’m proud of you. 

with that hyunjin casually sucks your wetness from his fingers, briefly wiping them on his pants before returning to editing his photos on his laptop. you struggle to regain your focus on the textbook splayed out in front of you, the pages swimming before your eyes as the pleasure in the pit of your stomach slowly subsides.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“i still don’t understand why you were so adamant about using my kitchen to bake instead of yours.”

hyunjin glances up from his phone at your words, his pupils so dark they remind you of tapioca pearls. 

“i live with three frat guys, my kitchen is a biohazard.”

ah yes, that’s right. hyunjin’s roommates, although very nice guys who treat you with respect, are frat guys nonetheless. chan is the cleanest of them all, although that's mostly due to him eating out the majority of the time. changbin and jisung however…

you raise your hands in defence, shuddering at the thought of the army of glasses filled with stale protein shakes that greeted you the last time you ventured into hyunjin’s apartment.

upon seeing you wash your hands in preparation for baking hyunjin joins you behind the kitchen counter. his ring-clad fingers roll up the sleeves of his white long sleeve top before tucking the stray hairs in front of his face behind his ears. 

“alright, what are we baking?” he says with his game-face on.

“i was thinking we could do gingerbread… you know, since it’s the holidays.” you begin to search for a recipe on your phone.

hyunjin makes a sour face at this: lips puckered, brows furrowed, eyelids lowered. dramatic. “i don’t like gingerbread,” he states.

“oh? why not?”

“it’s too spicy.”

this motherfucker…

“...spicy? what are you, twelve?”

“i have a sensitive palate!” your boyfriend whines like a toddler. 

“shut the fuck up hwang, we’re making gingerbread.”

hyunjin hangs his head in defeat while you trifle through your cupboards for the proper ingredients. soon enough a small pile is formed on your countertop and you begin sorting everything in order to start baking. a slender hand caresses your lower back and you jump slightly.

“you know it kinda turns me on when you’re all authoritative like that…”

of course. leave it to hyunjin to get horny at literally any hour of the day. 

“you’re insufferable. does hyunjin jr. ever take a day off?”

hyunjin scoffs, “he does, actually. remember the day you were so swamped with the paper you were writing and me, being the best boyfriend ever, had the decency to not try to get in your pants so you could focus?”

“wow, so chivalrous.”

hyunjin playfully shoves your head and then pats your hair as if to assure you his teasing is all in good fun (you know it is).

for someone who was so adamant about baking for the holidays, hyunjin is incredibly inept in the kitchen. first he adds baking powder to the mixing bowl instead of baking soda, then proceeds to knock over your precious bottle of pure vanilla extract, followed by him getting molasses on his tongue and wailing in disgust because it tastes like straight ass! this is all tied together by him spilling flour all over your countertops because why the fuck not. 

“remind me to never allow you to have access to my kitchen ever again,” you huff in frustration while rolling out your batter, a thin layer of sweat forming on your upper lip.

“why? I’m having fun… are you not having fun?” a cheeky grin is plastered across his face as he places his hand on the flour-covered counter before smacking your ass so hard you shriek. whipping your head around, you gape at the perfect flour handprint imprinted on the seat of your favourite pair of pants. 

“WHAT THE FUCK HYUNJIN!!???” you shove his chest before frantically dusting the flour off of your rear. hyunjin can’t seem to control his laughter.

“payback!” he says cheerily while wiping his hands on the hem of his shirt. by now the smell and taste of flour has filled the air of your kitchen. 

“payback for what you dipshit??”

he smiles, “for when you spilled coffee on my shirt.”

“are you fucking kidding me hwang? that was like four months ago!” you return to kneading the dough in front of you, although now you do so with much more aggression, “need i remind you that the coffee incident is how we met in the first place?”

“i knowww~” his palm glides across your upper back in a soothing motion before he rests his chin your your shoulder, “i’m just teasing.”

you bite back a smile before glancing at hyunjin perched on your shoulder, his squishy cheeks matching the soft gaze of his eyes. domestic bliss. you continue to knead the dough in front of you until it’s ready to be rolled out.

when you turn to look at hyunjin again he’s leaning into you even more, pink lips puckered slightly and eyelids closed causing his lashes to grace the tops of his cheeks.

you throw flour in his face.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

it’s new years eve and you don’t know what to wear.

“just throw on something skimpy and call it a day,” jeongin says through the speaker of your phone, “you’re supposed to be here in like an hour, remember?”

“i can get ready in an hour,” you respond while holding various garments up to your body and gazing at your reflection in the mirror. so many options, so little time.

“i don’t know about that y/n, remember halloween?”

you do remember halloween. more specifically, you remember jeongin whining and bitching for the entirety of the two and a half hours it took for you to transform yourself into ty lee from avatar: the last airbender. it was worth it though, you looked exactly like her. 

“come on, that was a one time thing. i’ll be at your place on time!” you whine while tossing an unworthy crop top onto the pile of clothes on your floor that’s steadily increasing.

“i don’t know y/n you’re pretty indecisive and-” you hang up on him, not wanting to hear him bitch and whine about your inability to make even the most minuscule decisions. 

it takes you half an hour to choose the perfect outfit, and then another half hour to do your makeup and hair, followed by a fifteen minute stare-down with your reflection in the mirror as you question everything. is this really the best look i can come up with? your head hurts and you haven’t even started drinking yet. 

“y/n~” hyunjin whines from his place in the living room, “are you almost ready?”

you give him a half-assed yea before exiting your bedroom, giving yourself and your outfit one final check in the mirror.

in preparation for tonight’s celebration you helped hyunjin bleach and dye his hair a shade of icy blue last night, almost permanently damaging his bathroom sink and counter in the process. his now cerulean mane matches the blue of his denim jacket that has an eye-catching collar lined with fluffy white fur (faux of course - no animal cruelty here). his pants are denim as well, a quintessential canadian tuxedo, and just a hint of silver glitter is detectable on his eyelids. you could eat him right the fuck up. 

“you look cute,” you purr before waltzing over to your boyfriend and standing in front of where he’s sat on the couch.

“as do you,” his eyes scan your body, “the five hours it took you to get ready paid off.”

“i did not take five hours to get ready hwang, you’re just impatient.” you pat his leg as if to say get off your ass, it’s time to go, prompting him to push himself off of his couch and over to the coat rack by his front door.

“this coat totally clashes with my outfit,” you complain as you pull on your thick puffer jacket.

hyunjin feigns sympathy, “it’s either that or you freeze. come on, chan’s wondering why we’re not there yet.”

hyunjin all but yanks you out the door, locking it behind him before the two of you step onto the bustling city streets that are teeming with people searching for a place to drink and celebrate. 

arriving at jeongin’s a mere couple of hours before midnight, you rid yourself of your chunky winter coat and start to mingle with the rest of the crowd. hyunjin, despite knowing more people at the party than you, stands behind you like a lost baby sheep for the entire night, waiting for you to loop him into whatever conversation you’re having. 

you briefly speak with jeongin, who teases you for arriving late (how he managed to spot you and hyunjin sneaking in later than you said you would arrive is beyond you) and then encourages you to get a drink and ‘let loose’.

in the kitchen you help yourself to whatever alcohol you can find - most of the selection isn’t to your liking and you regret not bringing your own drinks from home. nevertheless, you force some pathetic margarita mix down your throat before spotting hyunjin’s roommates, chan, changbin and jisung, in the crowd and heading over to converse with them.

time seems to fly by and soon enough there are only a few minutes left until it’s time to ring in the new year. someone, most likely felix, blasts madonna through the speakers and a livestream of the new york ball drop is displayed on the tv in the living room.

“y/n?” 

“yes hyunjin?”

he hesitates, starry eyes looking everywhere but your own, “will you be my new year’s kiss?”

you stifle a laugh; the poor boy looks like he’s about to puke after asking you that so you try your best to play nice.

“of course i will.” you caress your boyfriend's cheek ever so gently, his cheeks turning rosy and flushed as you do so.

around you the cheers from the other partygoers have increased as the countdown displayed on the tv hits the thirty second mark. as the ball descends on the screen your fingers reach for hyunjin, grasping his wrist in excitement as the two of you start to countdown alongside everyone else.

“3….2….1….HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!”

as soon as the clock strikes midnight hyunjin’s pillowy pink lips are attached to yours, capturing you in a heartfelt kiss to celebrate the ending of an old year and beginning of a new one. it would be a crime not to reciprocate so you do, only pulling away when you hear jeongin start to make gagging noises at the two of you over everyone else's cheers. 

felix jumps onto the couch and changbin uncorks a bottle of pommery cuvée louise with a celebratory pop! 

before you can approach changbin and ask for a glass of champagne that he splurged on for the special occasion, you’re being dragged down the hallway. away from the music and cheering and people and into a dark, empty bedroom; based on the decor you assume it’s felix’s.

the metallic click of a door being shut and locked echoes throughout the empty room and when you turn to face hyunjin pursues you again. away from the curious gazes of bystanders he kisses you with unrestrained passion and lust - a kiss that isn’t just a simple display of affection but a kiss that says i want this to lead to something more. 

in the confines of this empty bedroom you allow yourself to melt into his lips, his touch. you inhale his scent and push your tongue past his teeth and into his mouth, tasting a hint of the miller lite he was sipping on earlier on his tongue. with ease hyunjin makes his way down your jaw and to your neck, placing affectionate open mouth kisses against the sensitive skin of your throat. occasionally you feel his canines nip you before his tongue glides over your skin.

“i’ve been wanting to be alone with you since we left the apartment,” hyunjin admits sheepishly, the ends of his hair tickling your ear.

“is that why you spent the entire night hiding behind me?”

like a deer in headlights, hyunjin freezes, “maybe…” you can feel his lips curl into a small smile from where they’re attached to your neck.

not wanting to waste any more time you shove hyunjin off of you, your hands grasping the collar of his denim jacket before dragging it down his shoulders and arms, followed by his shirt. hyunjin follows suit and moves to unbutton his jeans, pulling them down his thick thighs. now he stands in front of you wearing only his briefs, his hard cock straining against the material, the glow from the moon painting his skin a cool shade of blue.

when you step closer to him you can feel his breath fan across your face, watch his eyes swim with curiosity and enamourment, see his chest rise and fall with each and every shaky breath. your fingertips hook into the elastic waistband of his briefs, yanking them down and letting them pool at his ankles before gently guiding him to sit on the bed behind him.

now that hyunjin’s seated you move to kneel in front of him, kissing your way down the soft milky skin of his abs and around his belly button and the insides of his thighs. his cock stands fully erect, and you lick your lips before getting yourself ready to suck him off. 

when you first fucked hyunjin all those months ago you were taken aback at how perfect his cock was. not to sound cliche, but it felt as if the two of you were destined to be together with how well he fit inside of your cunt and down your throat. now, you admire him once again before licking him from base to tip.

time is of the essence you think before taking his length in your hot mouth.

over the course of time you’ve spent dating and fucking hyunjin you’ve discovered that he’s very sensitive… and very vocal. as soon as his cock is in your mouth he’s struggling to keep quiet, the veins on his neck tensing and his knuckles white as he grips the bedsheets underneath him. it’s not like anyone would hear him lest they be pressed up right against the bedroom door, but still, he tries his best to preserve at least a little bit of his dignity. 

for the sake of your throat you wrap your hand around the base of hyunjin’s dick, opting to jerk what you can’t comfortably fit in your mouth. the soft muscle of your tongue expertly wraps around his length as you begin to bob your head, starting off slow so you don’t overwhelm hyunjin (who already seems to be going into sensory overload). 

the movements of your hand are in tandem with those of your mouth, the nails that you got done for new years looking so perfect wrapped around his sensitive cock. small beads of sweat begin to form on your temple as you continue to work hyunjin to his release, not wanting to stop until he’s satisfied. your knees are already starting to ache from being pressed against the cold, hard floor but you pay the discomfort no mind.

above you, hyunjin’s struggling to keep himself under control. he’s been on edge all evening, and now that you’re having your way with him he can’t quite contain his delectation. surely there are other people fucking at this party right now, right? what does it matter if he makes a bit of noise?

fuck dignity, he wants to let you know how good you’re making him feel. 

hyunjin’s bottom lip throbs in relief when he releases it from his teeth, allowing his head to fall back while groans of pleasure shamelessly tumble from his mouth. 

your ears strain to block out the noises from the ongoing party so you can hyperfocus on every single sound that passes hyunjin’s lips. your lips wrap around his length like a glove, providing him with the most perfect amount of friction. you pick up the pace in order to get him there faster, ignoring the slight cramping in your wrist.

“y/n i-” one of his hands lets go of the duvet and wraps around the back of your head, “i think i’m gonna-” he cuts himself off with a cry of desperation. 

with reluctance you pull your lips off of his cock, continuing to jerk him with your mouth agape and tongue sticking out. with a needy, high-pitched moan that he does nothing to try to suppress, hyunjin pumps his load into your waiting mouth.

his cum is pure and white like the snow falling softly outside of the bedroom window. it sits hot and heavy on your tongue as you rise from your spot on the floor, watching with hungry eyes as hyunjin’s pink-stained chest heaves sighs of pleasure before you press your lips to his. both of your mouths open automatically, his tongue slipping past your teeth allowing him to taste himself. your tongues swap semen and saliva and you reluctantly pull away when you need to swallow and regain your breath.

the view of hyunjin panting and covered in a sheen of sweat, his own cum seeping from the corners of his mouth, is a sight to behold. you’ve never laid eyes on anything so sinful yet so holy and beautiful at the same time - your panties become unbearably wet. 

hyunjin stares at you with eagle eyes as you rid yourself of your clothing, tossing each garment on top of his so a small pile is formed on the floor. 

in one swift move you’re on top of him, knees digging into the firm mattress on either side of his bony hips. without saying a word you line his cock, that’s already semi-hard again, up with the soaked hole of your pussy before sinking down his shaft. the two of you whine and groan into eachothers mouths at the sensation, and you still when your hips are flush with his. 

“i don’t… i don’t think i’m gonna last long,” hyunjin whines so pathetically you go weak in the knees. ugh! you wanna lick him all over. 

“that’s okay,” you coo while running your fingers through his hair, “just want you to feel good.”

grasping his shoulders for stability, you temptingly grind your pelvis against his. the tip of his cock is nestled deep inside of you that it makes you feel so unbelievably full and content. it’s moments like these where you wish to be consumed by hyunjin, wish to hold him and be in his hold forever and ever. 

the slick, wet sounds of you fucking hyunjin raw fill the room, your cunt sucking him deeper and deeper with each and every roll of your hips. your vision goes blurry when he attaches his soft lips to your breast, switching between sucking on it gently and using his tongue to tease your sensitive nipple.

the soft whimpers and please go faster’s that your boyfriend emits encourage you to pick up the pace, your hip bones knocking against his with each gyration. by now your clit is begging for attention so you lower your hand to press quick, somewhat careless circles into it, hissing at the pleasure it provides. 

the need to cum begins to creep its way into your senses: your vision becomes spotted and blurry, your legs begin to quiver and shake, the pit in your lower abdomen grows bigger and bigger threatening to swallow you whole. hyunjin continues to sloppily suck on your tit, the sensation going straight to your aching cunt.

no words need to be exchanged in order for each of you to know that the other is close. it’s evident in the way your movements become more frantic desperate and in the way hyunjin’s blunt nails dig into the flesh of your thighs, his jaw going slack against your breast. 

a few more movements and you reach your orgasm, muffling a lewd and graphic moan by biting down on hyunjin’s shoulder. for several moments it feels as if you’re on cloud nine. sparks fly behind your closed eyelids and the ringing in your eyes is loud enough to block out the sound of the party (which you almost forgot about) but not the increasingly loud moans coming from hyunjin.  you can hear and feel him cumming a few seconds after you, his stomach tensing as he cries out for you.

he spills his seed inside of you and you shudder, feeling incredibly warm and worn out. 

with limbs feeling like lead, you lift yourself off of hyunjin before collapsing onto the mattress, the duvet cover immediately clinging to your back that’s damp with sweat. you feel hyunjin’s cum slowly begin to seep out of you and you cringe, knowing that you’re going to have to explain and apologize to felix (or whoever the owner of this room is).

beside you, hyunjin works to get his breathing back under control, his eyes closed with a blissed-out expression on his face.

“i don’t wanna get up,” he whispers into the dark room.

“so don’t.”

the two of you lie there, basking in the post-orgasm bliss that  puts you on the verge of sleep. the room smells of sex and sweat and you can’t help the small smile that makes its way onto your face, knowing that there’s no other way you’d rather spend ringing in the new year. 

you hear him moving before you feel his touch. the soft tips of his fingers caress your clammy palms before intertwining with yours, an affectionate move that has your cheeks flushing and makes you wonder how did i get so god damn lucky?

if it weren’t for hyunjin your ivy league studies would be filled with empty days and empty nights. you somehow managed to find solace in a sensitive, 5’10” boy who teases you and then whines when you tease him back. on days where the cold seems to be unbearable he keeps you warm with his skin on your skin, his lips on your lips, his heart to your heart. 

without him you’d be stuck at a prestigious school filled with prestigious people pursuing a prestigious degree that you’re not sure you even like, yet he somehow makes you forget all of that. 

and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

[xols-ex-girlfriend]

Call me a wet blanket but the one major gripe I have about the update is that nuclear reactors don't explode!! At most you'll have a steam explosion but that wouldn't be a mushroom cloud or a nuke blast!! Yes yes I know its a game about space ninjas BUT STILL Getting nuke stuff wrong is a major pet peeve of mine lmfao

[morsesnotes]

Confession: I really don't like a lot of the Endeavour promotional photos. I have a major gripe with HDR generally, and that mixed with the de-saturation I think totally misses the vibe of Endeavour.

It also makes Shaun Evans look weirdly old?

British detective shows are all done with this style of promotion where the two main characters look to camera with a grim setting around them. It's a pet peeve of mine.

It makes it seem like they all have the same tone which makes it easy for people to scroll past anything unfamiliar.

Endeavour isn't dark and gritty. It's romantic, vibrant, and theatrical! If the promo photos conveyed that it would really stand out, as it should.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Trailer (me losing my freaking marbles - YOLO) Pt1

I'm just going frame by frame thru AMC'S BEAUTIFUL new IWTV trailer. But I had to split this into 2 parts cuz Tumblr won't let me post 30+ pics.

We've already seen Lestat's Theatre portrait on fire (burn, bish!) but the TRANSITION they made here is DISGUSTING--they know what they're doing!

Lou goes from thinking about setting the Theatre on fire (nervously/uncomfortably rubbing his chin, my poor baby), to another scene of him chainsmoking and staring sadly off into the void. I'm assuming it's the 1970s interview, cuz we see Afro!Lou in the same shirt when he effs up BB!Daniel a few minutes later.

AND they said Louis's "stronger, and harder, too," during ANOTHER closeup of Louis chainsmoking. Pyromaniac du Lac LIVES.

Then we get that INTERESTING exchange with Loumand about Oldmaniel:

Armand does NOT like this interview, no ma'am! What are you tryna hide?! 🧐

The fandom legit already MADE THIS JOKE too! XD

The parallels with Loumand enjoying watching movies together (NO CLAUDIA 👀)--and Loustat enjoying opera & movies together.

Loumand as a happy old married couple--I mean it, Rolin: what TF happened between the 1970s interview, the year 2000, and 2022, to make Louis' mental state get SO DANG BAD!?

Armand seems to be implying that 1970s SanFran wasn't where he failed Louis, but 1940s Paris when he burns the Theatre--but I'm seriously wondering if something else went down, cuz LOOK AT MY BABY. BLOOD TEARS. I cannot.

This hollow, fake smile Claudia gives when Loumand walks into the room; wearing makeup & an adult hairstyle tryna look grown--I wonder if this is the same night she joins the Theatre?

Lou & Claudia--he just gives her The Eyebrows, not saying anything (but Armand looks WAY too smug ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)); and we know Armand AND Claudia can EASILY read his mind way better than he can read either of theirs.

Louis calls her "a spark in the dark," right before they cut to the bombs falling all over WWII Europe with flames everywhere--including all over her face--foreshadowing her ashes to ashes, dust to dust. ("Rigged to burn," Louis said in S01E03.)

Did they get hit by bombs, or fall into mine fields?! Jfc. (OR maybe they were sleeping underground, in the earth, and woke up in a battlefield--GOD.) And this must be the same scene where Lou eats the heart--we see Claud throwing limbs around--are they scavenging bombed up corpses?

And the flame in the photographs Louis takes, which she's been tearing down--figuratively in the other teaser, and literally here.

Claudia finna GO OFF! (I HAD to make this one a gif, to see her wrath in MOTION 🤌)

EAT that racist French White, Claudia, PLEASE. Colonizer Capital--Paris SUCKS!

LOUIS DE POINTE DU LAC, ladies and gentlemen. U_U

You're one of a kind, sweetie--that's why the whole Theatre was tripping, cuz Lestat's "coven" in NOLA didn't look ANYTHING like how all other vampire covens worked. Lestat & Louis & Claudia were a FAMILY. They lived like humans--or as close to human as possible. Plus they were painfully weak, with none of the Dark Gifts. They weren't living like monsters--at least not on the surface....

In the other teaser I thought this dirty heifer who attacked Louis was a revenant, but if she's in the Theatre then this must be Alessandra or Eleni (which means a Rhoshamandes name drop!? 👀💀)? Please random dude please be Benedict. 🙏 I need more TVC cameos!

I'm wondering if this was part of a performance when Madeleine & Claudia were part of the Theatre, not during the Trial? OR this is AMC's recreation of the film version with the naked lady--"so we can eat people."

Armand finna GO OFF! But WHERE TF are his FANGS!? That's my ONE major gripe with this show--I'm so sick of seeing these stupid acrylics everywhere but no FANGS.

Then the trailer immediately tells me to STFU, LOL. XD

Lelio Rising. Lelio Falling. (Ooooo--the Tower Scene should be SPICY)

Then they use the "script" line to transition to The Trial, when Armand forced Lestat to be scripted! 😭 DIABOLICAL! And I LOVE this frame--it's giving me Oppenheimer when he was walking through the stands as everyone applauded him for dropping the bomb & he was PTSDing. (I had to make a separate post just for this brainworm.)

So Dan's finished the interview and this is his editor. (OR, even spicier, this dude's from the Talamasca, and Daniel's broken the NDA & fled the penthouse?) But chile, ain't nobody scared of LDPDL. 🙄 Daniel should be well aware by now that Louis snapped in the 1970s, sure, but he's not the REAL threat in that house, Mr. Mediocre Star to a 500 Year Old Vampire. Unless they're talking about LESTAT? 👀💀 WHERE TFC IS HE IN 2022?!

What in CHRIST'S NAME is coming out of his effing NECK? 😱 It was SQUEALING, like a KOCHON.

Louis slinging blood at the Sea of Galilee Armand stole for him, LOLOLOL.

Louis effing Daniel up--"you were disrespectful!" I wonder if BB!Dan crying was when Armand was busy stalking him when he was drunk AF & dying of alcohol poisoning.

I LOVE THIS. Louis is the center of it all--"It's you and me. Me, and you." 😭💔 Said over and over--Louis and Lestat, Claudia, Armand, and Daniel (and even Santiago U_U).

[marina-the-witch]

SotE Spoilers (Just in case)

After finishing SotE a week or two ago and reflecting on the experience I wanted to share my issues with the DLC. I'll leave out if a boss frustrated me for whatever reason outside of my first point, as I feel like that will definitely improve with reruns or at least solidify my opinions, but it's not like a couple bad bosses are a major issue for me anyway. With that said, here's what bothers me about SotE: -Bad hitboxes and weird timings on some bosses, this definitely did not feel like something I just need to learn like e.g. Messmer's or Rellana's long combo strings. Gaius and the Golden Hippo were especially bad in the hitbox department, Putrescent Knight and Scadutree Avatar meanwhile had some REAL dodgy timings, and Radahn's cross slash feels entirely undodgeable. Bayle, while he is a favorite of mine, also definitely had timings I felt were really tight considering his HP, but I've been hearing a lot of people say he isn't as hard and his tight openings feel designed with Igon in mind so I imagine that will improve on reruns. -There really isn't much of a reason or incentive to explore for me, while the new cookbooks and spells are cool that's moreso questline or enemy drops, most overworld item pick-ups are just upgrade mats i can literally just buy and especially the amount of gloveworts bothers me, there's enough of them in basegame to max every wortwhile summon anyway and I personally don't use summons to begin with. -Adding to the previous point, there's a lot of stretches of land that just feel so empty, the most notable example are definitely the abyssal woods, an area you can't just run through really should have more in it in my opinion, but all the other overworld areas could use a lot more too. I also really don't get why the dungeons feel almost hidden away, but that's not a huge deal since they're at least all unique. -Scadutree blessing is a cool and interesting idea on paper, but for one I feel like 50 is a bit of a bloated value to collect all of them and their scaling is a bit op after the latest patch. That does kinda balance out though since it means I can collect like half of them and still be fine, but I still think the system is a bit messy. -The new selection of minibosses is pretty poor, Furnace Golems are ass, Death Knights and Ghostflame Dragons are cool at least, the rest is kind of boring and the amount of annoying NPC fights kinda bothers me (also the Gank Squad at the end is horrible)

-Some weapon classes still feel super undercooked. I honestly don't mind the new classes only having a small handful as it reduces the bloat of useless enemy drop weps you had in basegame and replaces them with solid infusable weapons, but whips, bows and etc actually feeling functional would have been nice With all that said I still love SotE and there's way more positives than these few negatives that i feel are more or less fairly objective. I have other personal gripes with the narrative and some other things but that's another can of worms.

[mskwtz]

It’s honestly such a major gripe of mine that they’ve shafted him the way they have. Like I will never not be angry about it and I don’t accept it in my writing just so everyone knows. But even aside from him I think it’s wild dumb that they always make it seem like anyone ever training under ponytail pastor is automatically 100x more skilled than any of them like huh?

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️This Gabby Stan Supports Everything She Does☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 6 “The Most Tranquilous Game”

I'm aware of Season 3 airing. I put the poll on whether or not I should watch this while it was. By the time this comes out, this may or may not be before or after the finale of that season is released.

Quite obviously I'm not caught up so I'm not watching that right now. The only thing I know is that the finale is around the corner, and I heard a lot of people online saying they hate the Finalists for some reason.

I also saw awhile back a little meme image (that I won't show cause it's not mine) that "Jake is a garbage human being and he should die" or something.

(Became a Jake stan) ...huh, well ain't that a bit extreme.

That totally gives me hope that things will be civilized.

I didn't plan to get caught up by then, as I'd rather watch at my own pace and actually sink in what's happening so I understand it. I did the same thing with Total Drama. Because whatever show, you have to actually take any and all moments and dialogue into account, otherwise stuff gets misinterpreted.

I know half the time with these reactions I'm cracking jokes, but that's only my way of showing my investment. If I was bored and/or frustrated I wouldn't be doing that.

I hope that's understandable. I'd much rather enjoy this show and form my own opinions and takes from my own viewing experience. Obviously if I have major gripes with a plot element going forward, I'll say it, but for the most part I actually want to hear it out.

Indie Animation such as this get a lot of creative freedom to make whatever story and narrative they want. So instead of whining about corporate interference that isn't there, I'd rather say "I'll hear you out, and here's how I feel personally. Whether I think it was handled well or not with what you were trying to do."

So... I apologize if I show an opinion on something that isn't majority. Like if I like someone you hate or if I don't care for something you love. But also, I'm not gonna apologize for having them.

I'm an analyzer. My username is AnalyzGolden. I analyze stuff in the way I see it. It's in the name!

I'm like this with Digital Circus as well. I don't interact with much internet discourse surrounding it and I just want to do my own thing and see things through my lens and not others. Cause most indie animation fanbases have a reputation for being… shall we say, extreme.

So... I hope this is understandable.

I'm also thinking about doing a post on the tier list on the characters in this season once I'm done with this season. I think that'll be a fun way to properly explain my takes on all of them.

So with this out of the way, let's begin:

"It had some cool stuff that we can apply to the game!"

"It mentioned this 'Heather' person, who betrayed her alliances, abused her alliance members, and sabotaged a relationship!"

"Then there's 'Alejandro', who flirted with everybody and betrayed everybody, and also sabotaged relationships!"

"...I'm seeing a pattern."

"...but only if we ignore the section on teamwork."

XD

You guys are slaves to the demon child. I hope you're proud.

Btw I'm only hating on Fiore because she's the villain character and therefore she's supposed to be hated. I don't actually hate her as a character. She's quite interesting.

"Do you recall what I told you about my wife?"

Are we FINALLY getting info on this?

He's broke or something, right?

"That you don't get along?"

"We do get along. It's common for marriages to get testy, I'll have you know. I'm just hoping things will get better."

Aaaahhhh... okay.

I thought for a second it would be that, but I leaned more towards my theory of them being broke.

"If I win, I'll take my family somewhere to start a new life."

Add that to the list,

'Alec: Fix Family Bond'

Okay, who do we not have for a motive that's still here?

I don't think Miriam or Gabby mentioned theirs. Or Dan. Or... I think that's it.

"Wow, look at Romeo over here, I'm sure money will solve your marital problems."

That is sarcasm caught in 4k

Not the six year old roasting the life of a grown married man!

Ooh, Grett actually looks really good in pink. I'm just noticing her wearing that.

"Jake, how are you? Do you feel better?"

He might still be mourning. Idk what his mental state is after that.

AWWWWWWWWW💗

Now I'm actually giddy. What is wrong with me?! Why are they so great?

Going in, I was expecting Toxic Yaoi just cause of Tom's spy shit, but they're actually so sweet and wholesome and good for each other.

"I'm here if you need anything."

I can't imagine how it's like for Tom. I don't think he was imagining getting close with someone just cause of the spy profession.

"I like this boy, I want to be around him and help him out."

"Now don't worry about getting us breakfast today, I will get us the usual."

Idk how I like the sound of that tbh. XD

I just imagine Tom coming back and calling everyone to the meal. "BREAKFAST IS READY!!!"

...and it's just char XD

That also implies they work together to prepare meals for the group EVERY DAY. I love that.

No not Grett changing her facial expression from that!

"I smell gay! I didn't ask for that in my coffee this morning!"

"Jake and I really bonded in the last challenge, it sort of opened my eyes. It's gotten me to open up more to these kids."

Yeah, I actually like Miriam now. Before I was just kinda forgetting she was there, but I like her now.

"Do you like him?"

*Covers mouth to hold back the giddy noise from my mouth*

*Failing*

Oh my god she's actually going there! I did not expect that.

"Uh... maybe. He's just really good as a person towards me and I feel like we're really opening up to each other, you know? It's not that deep... maybe we'd go out for Chinese sometime. Maybe we'd catch a movie together."

"Tom, do you like him?"

"Uh, no?"

Huh?

You're lying. You gotta be lying.

"You always smile when you're talking to him."

"It's just... I like him, but not in that way."

Liar. Your scenes together say otherwise.

"I'm not ready to be in a relationship."

Oh...

Oh is that what it's about... yeah I would understand that.

"Recently... I was in a somewhat toxic relationship and things didn't end well."

OH.

Oh now that makes a lot of sense.

Was it SOMEWHAT toxic, or...?

I'm probably thinking too angsty about it.

"He cheated on me. And... I couldn't get over it."

OH MY GOD HONEY.

Well no shit you wouldn't get over that. That's awful!

Why did he do that?! Why would he want to hurt you like that?!

"Well you're young, unlike me, you still have a lot of time ahead of you."

Yeah... you can find someone better.

Oh shit, Grett...

OH WAIT CAUSE SHE KNOWS TOM IS A SPY, SHE SAW THE NOTES. OH MY GOD I KNOW WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.

And because of Jake's past experience, he is NOT gonna take it well!

OH NO...

"Hey um... how's everything?"

"All good... I'm still here."

That sounds so sad.

"Yeah I'm still alive. A tornado hasn't slammed into us yet, you know?"

"Everyone tries to vote me out! Only Grett stayed by my side even though you said I shouldn't listen to her!"

EXACTLY.

This Gabby Stan supports everything she does.

"I'm sorry, I thought I could trust the guys, but I was wrong."

YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TRUST THEM TO VOTE HER OUT AND YOU'RE SAYING THAT TO HER FACE?!

Dan. You're being a dick.

"I hope our team wins todays challenge because I'm not too confident about my position."

And I hope they don't so you get voted out!

...actually is that worth that risk? They could vote the others.

Dan, really, you're the only one on that team I wouldn't mind losing.

THIS IS SO UNEVEN, THEY'VE GOTTA MOVE SOMEONE

Like this is not fair!

"Today the challenge will be for individual immunities."

"Why?"

"Tonight, BOTH teams will go to elimination and vote a person off each of their teams."

WHAT?!

WE JUST HAD A DOUBLE ELIMINATION.

WHAT?!

"Double elimination AGAIN?!"

THANK YOU. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

"Well guess what? Life isn't fair."

...he do be spitting facts though.

OH GEEZ AND FLIP

Yeah uh, that doesn't look like a tranquilizer gun! THAT LOOKS LIKE A MACHINE GUN

HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO KILL EM

"It'll only put you asleep for a few minutes... hopefully."

Cut to everyone waking up from a ten year coma.

"If there's no way to avoid elimination tonight, I have to start preparing..."

*Gets a fashion ad*

I guess she's going to slay with her fashion sense 💅

"Gabby what were you doing talking to Dan this morning?"

"I was reading him for filth."

"You shouldn't talk to him!"

On the one hand, Dan is on your team. You kinda want to be on good terms.

On the other hand, it's Dan, so it's fine by me.

"But it's only a matter of time before her little cry-baby bonding session turns into an alliance."

"Oh boo hoo, my loves ones died! Who gives a shit?! UGH, people who mourn the dead are SO ANNOYING!!"

THIS MAN IS FIRING A SHOWER OF DARTS

He's also a bad aim apparently cause HOW DO NOT HIT ANYONE?!

He really is not subtle, is he?

"I don't want to be in a relationship or push it further, but I didn't say I can't crush!"

Tom's like "Why you pressing your hands like that?"

"I'm a wittle scawed of the bullets..."

"I think I saw Jensen."

"This way, come over here."

I thought you were trying to AVOID him. Why'd you want go towards him?

Oh shit here we go...

"Golden told be awhile back to tell you something very important!"

"Hey Grett. Maybe you should tell Jake something. Just a thought.

...

WAIT I SAID THAT AS A JOKE, HOLD ON-

"For some reason I have the urge to tell Jake something. Huh, wonder who this Golden Voice is.""

DAMMIT ME, I TOLD HER TO SLAY. I DIDN'T SPECIFY WHO TO SLAY.

SLAY PASS MISFIRE

"Tom was lying to you. It was Tom who voted for Drew."

Ooooooohhhh god...

I'm like preparing myself for the blowout.

"Because Drew found out his little secret."

"What secret?"

"The whole sun sensitivity story is fake. He lied to you because he's a spy."

*DREAD*

"What are you talking about? Is this a joke?"

*DREAD*

"He's here for work. You mean nothing to him other than a way to blend in more."

*DREAD*

"Come on Jake, Grett has clearly lost it."

IT HURTS BECAUSE SHE'S TELLING THE TRUTH

I'm CONFLICTED. Not my best girls HURTING my best boy!!

What do I do? Do I support her...? I don't know...

OH NO HE'S BACK.... UGH...

At least it's earlier in the season so they have a chance to bounce back... I don't... I don't know...

This is gonna be so ugly. Jake is gonna be HURT.

"I get hurt and traumatized by my ex! I lose my grandma! AND NOW THIS SHIT. I CAN'T CATCH A BREAK!"

"Tom! You're not gonna believe this!"

"Believe what?"

"Grett was saying the strangest things about you!"

"Wh-what did she say?"

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHH *mouth covered*

"She said you were the one who voted Drew because, get this, he found out you were a spy?!"

NO TOM YOU CAN'T ACT?!?!

I mean I don't think he should lie any further, but...

"I can explain!! It's not what you think!!!"

"Wait what? It's true?!"

"It's not that simple!"

Just hear him out! I can explain EVERYTHING! I know you're upset, but please hear me out!

"Oh my god... it really is! So you're just here for your job!"

"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"

JAKE, HONEY, I'M SO SORRY.

I know you being upset is understandable! It still hurts!

I can imagine what's going through his head though. His loved ones have a habit of either dying or lying to him and hurting him, and now turns out his new crush is a spy?

"Jake, calm down-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

OH GOD

"I don't owe you anything! It's my life! Step off, Jake!"

DON'T BE LIKE THAT, YOU'RE ALREADY OUTTED!

"Oh EXCUSE ME if I don't want to be part of your 'super cool' spy plan!"

"Can you stop telling the whole goddamn neighborhood?!"

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH GOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!

And they got shot...

Oh my god, I need a minute to CALM DOWN.

Was that... I mean I know that was a Tom liar reveal, but was that a Jake true personality reveal?!

Is he an asshole?!

Goddammit, he IS an asshole, isn't he? I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

I'm calming down, I'm calming down...

Tom and Jake are gonna drive me FUCKING. CRAZY.

I don't think that's how those pans work, I think the darts would stick to the pan, not bounce off of it.

GO FIORE!!!

She pulled a Rapunzel.

And this man shot a child.

Why are you wasting time digging a hole?!

There's a man with a machine gun!

"What revenge?"

"Against Dan."

Go ahead Gabby. I support whatever you do.

"Why don't we just focus on getting to the lake?"

EXACTLY.

"No! We eliminate the competition first, and search for the lake after."

So anyway, I feel like someone's getting immunity right now...

*thinks about it*

OH WAIT NO CAUSE THEY GOT THE TRIO SHOT.

Okay NOW I get it.

"How come you're helping me? You know only one of us can win, right?"

No I think he's gonna betray you.

Should've kept Lilly and Ashley around Ellie. This is your karma.

"You would do the same for me."

"Uh... yeah. Sure..."

*cuts to confessional*

"I definitely wouldn't."

XD

I can't blame her though.

"And then Jake said 'I need you to tell me what's going on' and Tom said 'I don't owe you anything' and then Jensen popped out and BAM!"

XD

NOT GABBY SLANDERING THE BOYS, I'M DEAD

She do be right though...

BYE HAVE A GOOD TIME!!

"You can play guilty while putting together a raft. I don't want to get wet."

"We're on National TV! I'll get my hair wet!" - SAME ENERGY

"Sometimes I just like to do what I want and not be bossed around."

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

As a Grett Stan, GET HER ASS GIRLIE

Like, I'm defending ZERO of Grett's actions. She's a bad person. But it's just because how she goes about being a bad person that interests me so much.

Oh so NOW they stick!

SLAAAAAYYYY GABBBYYYYYYYY!!!!!

OH NO ELLIE.

WHOOPS. SLAY PASS MISFIRE

(Twice in a row, Gabby...)

"It's my plan. I did all the hard work. I deserve it."

...I mean she DID do shit, but also...

"I know you weren't helpful today! We all know that without me, you couldn't have made it this far."

"All day I've been doing what you say, AND YOU NEVER EVER SAY THANK YOU!!!"

GET HER GIRL!!!

"YOU WERE SITTING ON YOUR FAT ASS THIS WHOLE TIME!!! I'M DONE WITH YOU GRETT!! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE PROJECTING YOUR ISSUES WITH YOUR BROTHER AND PARENTS DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULD FEEL BAD FOR YOU!!! WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS, BUT YOU CAN'T TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS!!"

YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS

QUEEN

QUEEN

QUEEN

QUEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!!

I mean, I love Grett too... BUT.

LET'S BE HONEST. GABBY DESERVES THIS.

🎉YEEEAAAHHH!!! GABBY FOR THE WIN!! LET'S GOOOO!!!!🎉

WE STAN GABBY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

I SUPPORT HER

And Alec gets it too.

Cool. I guess.

I mean he's fine, I just like others more.

"Yeah... just one of the rafts broke my bamboo."

"And also hit me in the face. I was lucky not to drown."

"Do I need you to give me my totem?"

OH YEAH I FORGOT SHE HAD AN IDOL

Sorry, TOTEM, I keep saying idol.

Honestly, yeah, you gotta play it. Cause I guarantee you you're gone if you don't.

"No I'm fine. I think tonight's decision will be an easy one."

ELLIE YOU'RE GONE.

"Golden put me in the heading! That MUST mean I'm safe!"

NO. SWEETIE NO. IT'S A BAD LUCK CHARM. DON'T TRUST ME!

God I think I jinxed Ellie...

They're STILL pissed.

Miriam is gonna come to me like, "Golden, you're having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight."

"Grett, I'm sorry, I don't regret taking the immunity."

As you shouldn't.

"If you don't vote for Dan tonight, you're out next."

...okay.

Is Miriam gonna convince them to vote Grett out?!

"I don't know if I can trust Tom after betraying the guys alliance..."

FUCK YOUR GUYS ALLIANCE.

THAT'S ALL YOU TALK ABOUT.

And besides, it's screwed.

Tom and Jake divorced.

"I'M STILL ANGRY AT YOU! WHY DO I KEEP LIKING PEOPLE WHO HURT ME?!"

"There's no way you can win the next challenge with her here."

Especially since she's a kid who has limitations. It is the smarter move.

"I would've preferred the three of us to make it to the merge, but there's no other option."

Honestly I would've preferred that too and that's what I thought would happen. Guess not.

"I like Fiore, but Ellie is more useful in challenges..."

It's up to Alec.

Alright... let's see what we've got this time. This should be interesting.

XD

DEAR GOD JAKE.

"THIS IS MY DIVORCE PAPER!"

Dammit, why'd he have to be an asshole, huh?

Of course Miriam writes in cursive.

"You can fool these Gen Z'ers..."

XD

Miriam's climbing up my tier list.

YES, SLANDER GEN Z

Alright, Teal's up first.

'DAN'

I mean, I prefer it be Dan just cause I like Grett, but also...

I don't think I'm gonna be mad.

'GRETT'

I like how Trevor says her name.

'JAKE'

XD

NO SHOT THEY BOTH THREW JUST CAUSE THEY WERE SO PISSED WITH EACH OTHER

XD

"AND NOW YOU VOTE FOR ME?! WHAT'D YOU SAY TO ME?!"

'TOM'

'GRETT'

And then the last vote is Grett.

Damn.

A fav is gone.

RIP.

"Sorry. We won't tolerate you any longer."

YES GABBY

"You think I care?! Because I don't!"

I think she does care though.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT.

HOLY GOD, THEY ARE A THING.

'ELLIE'

'FIORE'

Ellie's gone, isn't she?

I KNEW IT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER IN THE HEADING.

I thought she was gonna make it further, tbh.

"Good luck winning challenges with a six year old."

Wah wah waaaahhh...

AWWWWWWWWW NOT GRETT CRYING

I WAS READY FOR YOU TO GO, BUT NOW YOU'RE MAKING IT HARD

"I've already won a lot in my life..."

The shakiness of her voice. OUCH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH

THEY'RE NOT GOING, ARE THEY?!

*I got a safelife repair ad*

XD

"SAFELIFE REPAIR, SAVE YOUR BUTTS WITH THIS SECOND CHANCE!"

OH NO HE POSTED IT?!?!?!

OH THAT'S BAD...

Oh god, that's gonna be bad for Tom's mission, isn't it? Whatever it is he's doing.

I mean lets be honest though... that post isn't Jake's fault. How's he supposed to know that would happen?

NOT ME DEFENDING JAKE AFTER THAT-

Ugh... I had a gut feeling though, cause I saw people HATING Jake's character and calling him the worst.

HE'S AN ASSHOLE, NOOOOOOO...

Okay, BUT, I don't hate him. Surprisingly enough.

I'm actually intrigued by his character a lot more now.

I thought he was gonna be the precious bean. The sweetest character. But no, he's petty and impulsive.

I HAVE to give credit though, this is NOT something that came out of nowhere for me. He did snap at Nick in Episode 4 for stubbing his toe, and they established this episode more of Jake's past to add more context to his POV.

So he was in a toxic relationship before and got betrayed by it. That makes perfect sense to me. I understand why he'd be pissed. Tom lied to him.

But he DEFINATELY overreacted towards it. It's one thing to yell at the heat of the moment, it's another to vote for him just because you're pissed.

So, yeah, I'm not excusing his behavior, I'm just understanding WHY.

"OH NO! A character is revealed to have FLAWS. And said flaws made things worse for other people! Well clearly I hate them now!!"

I'm not doing that.

I'm just not that kinda person in how I view media. I don't hate characters just because they have flaws. When you're watching Total Drama, you gotta have that mindset too. Cause in that show, there's A LOT of characters that do screwed up things and it's wrong. So I'm used to it.

If anything, I guess Jake being revealed to have negative traits makes him a lot more interesting now. Cause yeah, I've been there. It sucks. Well, I wasn't in a toxic romantic relationship, but a toxic friendship when I was younger. It lasted for years so it left me pretty distasteful to the people around me and everyone hated me for... acting like Jake did here, honestly. How bout that?

Him and Tom are gonna BREAK ME, I can tell.

At least the lie is outed earlier in the season, so it's not as bad as it could've been...?

Like, it would've been a lot uglier later and it resulted in one of them getting voted off.

But at least they can work this out, right? Cool off, come clean, and repair the damage. Then go out for Chinese Food and hang out by the lake. Everything will be fine. They'll get their Chinese date. IT'LL ALL BE FINE.

...god, looks like I'm having Toxic Yaoi for dinner tonight.

I love Gabby's development SO MUCH HERE. SHE'S TAKING CHARGE. WE LOVE HER. WE SUPPORT EVERYTHING SHE DOES.

Really, of my favs, Gabby is the ONLY one who ACTUALLY did nothing wrong. It looks to be that way.

I didn't expect her to kiss Ellie though. That was cute.

I was expecting that to be just a friendship, but I definitely don't hate this.

Too bad Ellie's 'gone'.

Should've used that idol.

And I shouldn't have put her in the heading. I jinxed an elimination yet again.

I'm a Grett stan. I definitely want to analyze her in the character tier list I'm gonna do after this. That way I can properly explain WHY I like her so much. As a villain, obviously. I think she has a lot more depth to her than shallow "I'm a mean girl".

But I'm also not mad that she got voted off. It is deserved. And let's face it, Grett was never winning anyway.

Anyway, idk if this will get any attention because of the Season 3 finale, but hey, I can continue these if you guys seem interested and entertained by them.

[triptychofvoids]

The human body is very interesting and quite fun to draw imo, but one major gripe of mine is the absolutely horrid design of the inside of the neck. No other animal has to cough itself to lightheadedness just because they accidentally inhaled saliva, why should I >:(

ah yes, the simultaneously convenient yet unfortunate placement of the trachea and esophagus. however i can assure you humans are not the only animals capable of choking. it is true that humans to tend to be more prone to choking (both due to the position of the larynx and human eating habits), but technically any animal that is capable of breathing through its mouth is also capable of choking on food in this manner! or in this case, i would simply assume it also possible to get their own saliva down the wrong tube although i havent actually heard of any other animals launching into a coughing fit from that... not so many animals as humans spend so much time talking and breathing and eating often all at once though.

[lesbinewren]

I’ve learned too much about the Ahsoka show against my will (haven’t watched it and fighting the urge to) and the more I learn about Sabine’s plot there the more I wish they’d never touched on Rebels characters in live action. What are your thoughts on Sabine through the Ahsoka show, having seen it?

i think what stands out for me is that i didn’t hate it as much as a lot of other sabine fans i know, my gripes are more just the way that her story sometimes scrapes so close to being really really good, but never quite makes it all the way there. a big part of this i think is how they strayed away from a lot of overly-specific references and spending too much time on things that would need to be explained to non-rebels fans, which i appreciate from the perspective of making the show accessible (esp bc i have met a few people now who watched rebels for the first time BECAUSE of ahsoka), but i do think weakens certain aspects as far as being a spiritual successor to rebels

i think the broad strokes of what’s there could be really good, they just need more fleshing out. a lot of this is something that could be “fixed” for me in future seasons/stories assuming a certain amount of care is taken.

i’ll start with what i liked: i did warm up to natasha’s performance a lot quicker than i thought i would. the intro she has in the show had me captured pretty quickly, both because i think it’s a well-written character intro and how natasha sells it. i still prefer tiya’s iteration of the character, but natasha was really great at capturing the mix of soft kindness and attitude, plus sabines specific blend of insecurity and confidence. i think some of her best moments also come from how well she nails the chemistry between her and other ghost crew members (as sparing as those scenes are, which is a major gripe of mine). her and eman’s ezra are so electric to watch, and her one scene with hera hit it on the head (that scene also did a ton of heavy lifting as far as selling me on LA hera). you can FEEL the love she has for both characters and immediately get a sense of what their relationship is like, even if you don’t know all of their history. i genuinely think all of the LA rebels were at their best when they were interacting with each other, because those relationships all hit the nail on the head and i hope to see more of that in the future, especially with her and hera (and PLEASE bring zeb in, i miss him so much you can’t show me that you can make him look good in live action for a cameo in a different show and then not let him see his family!!!)

i liked the attention to detail the set design team had when it came to her apartment on lothal, i liked that they gave her a cat, i liked that they outright stated her sibling relationship with ezra. i liked her back and forth with huyang, i liked that they let her keep her more masculine style armor vs re-casting bo-katan armor, i liked that the show did not hold back on seeing how she’s been struggling with the loss of ezra and her birth family (though i don’t really like how the off-screen killing of the wrens was handled). i liked her rivalry with shin, i liked the scenes with her howler, i liked that she got a poncho for a bit, i liked the way she treated the first noti that she met. i liked the way she got to be selfish and messy and yet still we see that she’s a good person, that she learns from her mistakes and makes the right choices in the end even when it’s hard. i like that she cares, she cares so much it gets her in trouble and despite this she still gets to be sassy and snarky and have all of these pluralities that make her who she is.

genuinely, though everything below is way more long winded than what’s up here, my feelings towards sabine in this show do lean more positive, my criticisms are just more complicated and wordy than my likes lol. i think there’s a lot that’s done right (which i think majorly has to do with natasha’s performance), and so, so much potential. there’s a nonzero chance that season 2 could address most of my issues in a way that satisfies me and turns around my feelings on this, even if ultimately i think i will still always prefer and wish for more animated sabine

criticisms under a cut bc this is longer than i thought

the two big issues i have are the way her mandalorian heritage is handled and the way her jedi arc is handled.

when i say the way her mandalorian heritage is handled, i guess the better answer is the way it ISN’T handled. sabine being a mandalorian is so nonessential to her character in this show, that if you took her armor off you wouldn’t even know she was mandalorian. hell, keep her armor and just don’t have her helmet (which i also think she should have worn more without CONSTANTLY GETTING KNOCKED OFF ARE YOU KIDDING ME) and i bet you a lot of casual viewers wouldn’t have even picked up on it! compare that to her in rebels- being a mandalorian is so integral to her identity, even when she isn’t on good terms with any other mandalorians. she references it herself, other characters reference it about her. this is a character that wielded THE DARKSABER for crying out loud, and her mandalorian identity is erased? in an era where a show called “the mandalorian” is a disney+ flagship that this show itself is essentially a spin-off of, it boggles my mind as both a storytelling and a marketing decision.

any criticisms about mando s3 you may have aside, the last live action show before this one was about the reunification of mandalore. one of your leads in this new show is a mandalorian with a personal connection to the co-lead of that show who once possessed the macguffin you revolved a subplot around there (and is actually the one who handed it over to said co-lead in the first place, kicking off the shows whole backstory). and you just… don’t think about at least letting mandalorian heritage be a bigger part of this character? and not even that, but actively ignoring how important it was before? i understand wanting this show to stand on its own, but it feels like such a waste. sabine loving her mandalorian heritage while also rejecting certain parts of it is a huge part of what makes her character so cool and interesting, and i actually think could have worked really well in tandem with the jedi arc they have for her.

my hope is that now that they feel they’ve done the legwork to establish her as a jedi they won’t have to put quite as much focus on that and in season 2 and wherever else she shows up we’ll be able to see more mandalorian-focused aspects of her, but we’ll see how that goes.

which does bring me to the whole jedi thing. i don’t hate it- i completely understand why people do, but i did warm up to it by the end of the show. i also am not opposed to the idea of anyone being able to connect with the force, it just being a lot harder for those who aren’t naturally force-sensitive, to the point that it’s a non-issue for me. while it wouldn’t have been my preferred direction for her story to go, i actually do like the idea of sabine being a nontraditional jedi, blaster in hand yet following their teachings in her own way because they resonate with her as someone with a desire to help others and do good, and as an extension of how she loves and honors kanan and ezra as her family. we do see inklings of this in rebels, where she rejects certain violent parts of mandalorian culture in favor of “sounding like a jedi” based on what she’s learning from kanan (again a reason to focus more on her as a mandalorian, but whatever).

the problem is, it doesn’t really feel like the show’s jedi arc for her is actually following up on those things. the show doesn’t really address why sabine wants to be a jedi, outside of maybe it being a way for her to find ezra with ahsoka. but now she found ezra. so why does she care about being a jedi? is it because she believes in the code? because she wants to connect with the jedi in her life? because after all she’s been through, she’s searching for peace and balance within herself the jedi path can provide? the show doesn’t really bother to bring this up. i can fill in the gaps with my own fanon, but it feels odd to essentially be told “this character, who showed no interest before, wants to be a jedi now.” this is again something that can be explored in season 2 to satisfy me, but as it stands right now i struggle with it. because right now, the answer feels like “why does sabine want to be a jedi? so ahsoka can have a padawan”

especially because the closest we get to an answer isn’t actually a jedi thing at all- if anything, it’s dark side mindset. the most consistent thing we see with sabine wanting to be a jedi in the show is actually wanting to yield the power of the force. especially when it comes to her attachments (specifically ezra here)! nothing to do with selflessness, with inner peace, any of the core tenets of the jedi philosophy- it’s just about that power. i don’t think it was the intention, and if it was i think sabine struggling with the dark side is entirely natural to her character after all she’s lost at this point, if it was portrayed that way. but her triumphant moment of finally unlocking that power is not one where she realizes she has to find calm within herself to feel the force around her, but one where she is able to access it purely out of fear for her own life in a panicked moment, and then again out of fear for ezras life.

and maybe this is part of the story! the season does end with her rejecting her attachment and instead of going home with ezra, going back to help ahsoka because it’s the right thing to do. so it’s headed in the right direction in that regard. another hope i have for season 2 is that we’ll see sabine struggle still with using the force when she’s at peace and not in a life or death situation, and the frustrations that come with that. maybe she starts relying on strong emotions like anger or fear to wield the force, and ahsoka has to guide her now on not just finding her connection, but on finding it without relying on emotions that could lead her to slip towards the dark side, even though it’s much harder. i think it would create some really great tension considering how sabine’s initial apprenticeship with ahsoka ended, and we then get to see how “ahsoka the white” handles these problems differently than she did before. but who knows?

i also think i said pretty recently i would instantly be 100% more on board with this arc for her if she was allowed to at least talk about kanan. she was close to him, she loved him, he was a huge part of her life and her arc in rebels- and her relationship to him is ignored. are hera and ezra’s relationships to him (which do get acknowledged) bigger parts of rebels? absolutely. but there are several entire episodes revolving around the relationship between sabine and kanan, and other moments between the two of them throughout. i understand the show wants to be accessible to people who haven’t seen rebels, but it feels odd to have the entire scene where ezra builds his lightsaber dedicated to his relationship with kanan, while sabine’s relationship gets ignored. sabine gets to have a nonverbal reaction to huyang bringing him up, (which natasha plays well) but then… that’s it? the shift is then immediately focused again to her relationship with ahsoka.

and even that connection isnt explored to its full potential. like, how does sabines relationship to kanan affect her one without ahsoka? and not just “kanan and ezra were master and padawan and now me and ahsoka are.” like, kanan was, in a way, her first jedi master. and she witnessed him die tragically, saving the life of her and two of the people she’s closest to. has she built kanan up in her head as an ideal ahsoka doesn’t live up to? is she guilty that she didn’t have as much an interest in being a jedi while he was still alive? does she compare the way she saw kanan teach ezra to the way ahsoka teaches her? do things she learned from kanan ever conflict with what ahsoka teaches her? i don’t necessarily need the show to spell out answers for these questions for me- i like getting to write my own headcanons in the margins of the series. but i feel like it’s such a missed opportunity to not even acknowledge it.

and my final smaller issue is that a lot of the trademark elements of her character no longer exist in this show. while the set dressing does a great job of showing her artsy side, we don’t really get to see her draw or paint or even talk about art. we dont get to see her knowledge of or affinity with explosives. i say it’s smaller because i dont have as much to say on it, but tbh i missed these parts of her as much as i did her as a mandalorian. while sabine in this show has a lot of her personality, relationships and style from rebels, which i appreciate, the interests and background that not only make her unique but make her who she is are missing, and it is honestly sad.

in a way, i love when a lot of these things are left open. i love getting to fill in gaps like this and create some of those emotional connections in my head, that’s a huge part of the fun of fandom for me. it’s also why i don’t mind that we haven’t (yet, i’m sure it’s coming eventually in some form lol) seen all of the details of sabine and ahsoka’s initial attempt to find ezra, and them parting ways because of ahsoka fearing sabine is veering to close towards the dark side. i like getting to write it in my head a little bit, i think that particular info is enough to build on for the shows purposes for me.

and frankly, i don’t need every single one of my questions here directly answered. in fact, i would say i DONT want the show to outright answer all of these. rebels didn’t feel the need to hold our hand through every single character arc and relationship dynamic, and this show shouldn’t have to either. i like my room for headcanons! but there’s a point where they all build up to a point where it feels a little bit careless, like the writing sabines arc in this show often prioritized ahsoka’s arc and what needed to happen there before her own, even if it meant leaving out major parts of sabines character.

a lot of it i genuinely think couldve been fixed with just a couple more episodes of this show (8 episode season my beloathed) and perhaps things will be explored and fleshed out in season 2 to satisfy me- we are technically looking at an incomplete story with this show, so things could happen next season that make a lot of my points moot.

again, i think that this show had a lot of legwork to do regarding sabine as a jedi and catching us up on her relationship to ahsoka, to the point that it didn’t necessarily have time to fully dive into a lot of issues with this first season- and maybe now that that’s established, they will be able to do a lot of these things! i think the show is headed in the right direction based on the ending, with both sabines choice to help ahsoka and also how the show does make a point to show sabine picking up her mandalorian helmet and when she could have left it behind. that last bit especially felt very pointed considering how little her mandalorian heritage was brought up in season 1, that maybe it will play a bigger role in season 2. we now have a sabine that they don’t have to show being out of practice, so maybe we’ll get to see her be the incredibly competent fighter/pilot we know she is! maybe now we’ll have time to explore exactly why she wants to be a jedi, how being a mandalorian is important to her and interacts with her jedi beliefs. we’ll have time for her to do art, maybe she’ll get some opportunities to blow things up again! maybe now that she knows huyang knew kanan, she’ll get to talk about him. maybe she’ll get to reunite again with hera, chopper, zeb and ezra and we’ll see those relationships shine.

but until we have a season 2 in our hands, these are my current thoughts