#not a lot of good em- masculine names

[national-hockey-gay]

national-hockey-wlw -> national-hockey-gay

been a year of discovery for me apparently! new url to match my shiny new gender identity

[lactoseintolerentswag]

Rise Characterizations

Last month I did an in-depth re-watch of rottmnt s1 to take some notes on writing the characters of rise from their perspective and such. Figured I'd share what I found, but I'm also posting this bc my docs have a nasty habit of blipping out of existence.

We'll start with Raph bc he's the oldest of course, but I'll post the others sep. bc this is gonna get long!!

Raph Character Notes

Language Habits:

Catchphrases: "like a boss", "smash"

Verbalizes his attacks such as "smash", "knuckle sandwich", "power smash jitsu", "tonfa power jitsu", "mystic punch jitsu"

Uses older song titles for surprised exclamations or in place of cursing, most notably "jumping jack flash!"

Uses aave/bae, For example: 'em instead of them, 'ey instead of they, 'cause instead of because, forgoes the g in ing words (going becomes goin')

Uses less and less grammar the more he's stressed, and his voice will come to a higher pitch

Will speak in a softer tone to his little brothers if he's concerned about hurting their feelings. Aka babying them

Mixes up both metaphors and idioms. Would be one to say how the turn tables unironically

Does say "hero" a lot, lost count, especially in phrases like "hero town"

Refers to his brothers as "boys" or "fellas"

Refers to Splinter as "pop(s)" most often

Refers to strangers he's directly talking to as "bubs" or "hoss"

Personality:

Protective of his family

Plays up the hero act/has a strong sense of duty and justice

Impatient, rushes in without a plan (pre-movie), doesn't finish books until the end, falls asleep during "boring movies"

Oblivious, doesn't read into things beyond surface level. Struggles with empathy when something is beyond his understanding, but is still very emotional

Center of responsibility for his brothers, but also has a reckless sense of fun. As long as it's him doing the stupid unsafe thing it's fine

Carries the weight, in a literal sense he piggy backs his brothers, but will also use his body as a shield from danger. Unfortunately this also means he takes his brothers a little less seriously (Mikey the most common victim), and will try and either protect them from everything or as an oldest sibling everything has go "his way"

Doesn't do well in solitude. Needs to be looking after people to feel functional, and needs to be around people to feel safe

Clumsy, "takes horrible pictures", isn't very good at hiding, he's a big guy so it probably took a lot of time to find balance

A sweet guy who still won't shy from making fun of his family. Leo tends to be the brunt of his teasing since he is the most annoying, but he will also poke Donnie on his dramatics

Likes cute things!!! Has a teddy bear collection and loves animals. It's so cool how this isn't played off as a joke and he's still just as masculine for liking pink and cutesy stuff

Likes fighting!!! Gets a lot of energy out defeating bad guys (where he directs his anger towards), the one who is shown to train the most, and also weight lifts in his spare time

Doesn't do well under pressure, here the anger comes out the most. He gets stressed when it's all on him, especially since he tends to mess up the most in these moments

Miscellaneous:

Second to unlock mystic powers

Nicknames/codenames: "raph-a-doodle" by leo, "red rover" by april, "red king" by donnie

Teddy bear names: Doctor Huggenstein, Captain Snuggles, Cheech

Stinks: fear stink, amazement stink, sneaking up on people stink, victory stink

Seems to be less afraid of rabbits and more afraid of puppets

Went on his first solo mission at 13

Cannot lift a bus, at age 15

Thought about discussing fighting style, but I'm not as familiar with that concept and I've seen a couple posts dissecting such topic. So we'll end here for now. Hope this was helpful!!! I'll post the rest of the boys later and link here

Leo is up!!

Donnie is up!!

Mikey is up!!

Splinter is up!!

April is up!!

Cassandra is up!!

Baron Draxum is up!!

[another-delta-lover]

YAP [RANT] TO ME ABT HEAVY!!!!!

HE'S SO FUCKING PERFECT.

I get MAD when people simp for medic bc, I understand, tumblr insane sexy man blabla yadda yadda IDGAF

You all CAN'T SEE HOW MUCH OF A PERFECT PERSON HE IS. He's such a good person, he's such a good son and older brother, doin the dishes for his mama, caring about the absolute safety of his sisters, LITERALLY SAVING EM FROM A THING I FORGOT IT'S NAME WHEN HE WAS LIKE, IDK FUCKIN <20< ??? HE'S SUCH A GOOD FAMILY MEMBER. HE WOULD PROTECT U SO WELL AND ALWAYS CARE ABOUT UR SAFETY. AUGH ES UN HOMBRE Q RESUELVE LO JURO. HE ALSO RISKS HIS LIFE TO HAVE MONEY FOR THEM??? AAAAAAAAAAA. He does enjoy his job a lot (WHICH I LOVE IN SOMEONE. HELL YEAH ENJOY UR JOB AND GET WELL PAID), But the main reason of him working is just for his family and the money to help them. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?????

Also HE'S SUCH A GOOD TEAMMATE???? HE WILL PROTECT ALL OF HIS TEAM WITHOUT FEAR AND WIN??? AND ALL HE NEEDS IS SOME CUNTY GAY ASS GERMAN DUDE BEHIND HIM??. He could be such a good grandpa/father figure or even just a really good n close friend to all the mercs, but even so, he acts so cold so quiet and mysterious around em🤭

AND ALSO!!! His masculinity ain't broken by showing love to his teammates??? He can hug em and literally yell to them "I LOVE YOU" from across the map??? Sayin "I LOVE YOU DOKTOR!!" Isn't common between men, even less in that time. If he IS gay, good for him! If he isn't, I'm glad he can express how much he loves someone without the fear of lookin weak is something I admire soso muchhh.

He has a minigun the SIZE OF MY FUCKIN BODY THAT HE CAN CARRY RUNNING WITHOUT ANY KIND OF PROBLEM??? HE COULD CARRY ME AROUND LIKE A STICK AND WOULDN'T EVEN AAHAGAJSHDHAGSH DO YOU REALIZE HE TAKES CARE OF THAT GUN LIKE SHE WAS HIS CHILD??? HE'S A GOOD FUCKING PARENT TOO?? AAAHHHH IM NORMAL

He's a good cook, he cooks really nice meals and doesn't mind to share u some, which I wouldn't do bc I don't share my food. HESO NICE AUGHH. I LOVE IT WHEN MA BOI COOKS😭😭😭 IDK WHY THAT MAKES PEOPLE MORE ATTRACTIVE FOR ME.

Also, HE'S SO FUCKING PRETTY???????? IDGAF HE'S BALD, THAT'S THE BEST PARTY. HIS BLUE EYES ARE SO PRETTY N HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE SO SILLYY

LOOK AT HIM!!!! AUGHHH

Also his body is so JAHSLAHDJQHDJALSH he so big so perfect😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 His arms are the size of my whole body. AND HIS HANDS AAAAAAAAAA. He so FAT I LOVE HIM. I need him to crush me un a hug so badly. U all don't understand how much of a good body that could be in a relationship. U cold? U hug him problems gone. U wanna be cozy at night but the pillow is too small? He's the biggest pillow and he can hug u back that's soNSHSJAVDJSHD. He can carry u in his arms when u tired, u can lay on his chest and everything.... sighhh.... AND ALSO HE CAN FIGHT A BEAR WITH HIS BARE FISTS AND WIN, THEN EAT IT???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT IS????? LIKE HOLY FUCK THAT'S LIKE THE PEAK OF MANLINESS FOR ME. The question "would u rather be in a forest with a man or with a bear" I'M CHOOSING THIS BEAR HOLY FUCK HE WOULD PROTECT ME FROM THE BEARS.

ALSO HIS VOICE OH GOD HIS VOICE. It's such a loud and strong voice in English 🤭 even tho he isn't the best at it (me neither), HE SPEAKS IN SUCH A WAY IT MAKES ME KICK MY FEET GIGGLE AND CRY. I need him to say nice stuff to me with his cool asf voice. And when IT'S IN RUSSIAN AHHH😩~ I SWEAR He's such an elegant and polite man😭😭😭 he sounds so professional and ajsvqkebalhdmaoevs And IDC what u all say to me, he could sing so perfectly<3 for me his dialogs of him singing are well sung/GEN. I just imagine him singing:

To me.... Ik the song is kinda sad and not very romantic but IDC HE WOULD SOUND SO PERFECTLY.

HE HAS A PHD IN RUSSIAN LITERATURE LIKE....... HE'S SO FUCKING SMART. HE'S ALSO PRETTY FUCKIN RICH??? IT COST 400,000 DOLLARS TO FIRE HIS WEAPON FOR 12 SECONDS???? AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT IF HE KNOWS THAT HE'S 1. really fucking smart 2. THE ONE WHO PAYS??? Even if he wasn't rich I still love him a lot but I'm poor so that would make it slightly better. AND ALLTHE MONEY TO HIS FAMILY MOSTLY AUGHHH ALSHAKSHAKDHA

Also his COSMETICS. HIS FUCKING COSMETICS ARE SO HOT AAAAAAA. Most of em are normal silly hats but WHEN THEY AREN'T. OHMY GOD THOSE DARK GLOVES GOT MY LEGS SHAKIN. AND HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN SUITS??? OH GOD AUGHHH. Not into mafia people n stuff BUT.... FOR HIM I MAKE A BIG AHH EXCEPTION. And also, i want to point out the fact that HE WEARS DRESSES. I shouldn't make it a big dear but DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S THE 60's-70's???? AND HE'S A BIG RUSSIAN MAN???? He broke the gender dressing codes of the time not only bc he's a man wearing dresses, but a BIG MAN WEARING THEM??? AND A RUSSIAN MAN??? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME????💔💔💔💔 Also his hats are cute I like them.

Just to summary:

Medic < HEAVY!!!

Good person I general, son, older brother, teammate, friend, father and possible partner, risking his life for his family.

He doesn't think lovin teammates is weird or GAY. Unless he is, but honestly good for him

STRONG AS HELL. AJGAJAHDJA

GOOD COOK!!!!

PRETTY!!!!!PRETTY REALLY PRETTY!!! HANDSOME

GORGEOUS FREAKING BODY.

FOUGHT WITH A BEAR AND WON

VOICE OF AN ANGEL!!!!

SMART AND RICH??? AND HE DESERVES TO BE RICH.

AMAZING STYLE.

DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GENDER NORMS.

YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. AAAGHHHHH ILOVEHIM YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T YOU CAN'T YOU YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND.

[mail-me-a-snail]

oc interview: ✨✨vance✨✨

thank you to @swearingcactus AND @glitchinginthegarden AND!! @v-eats-bugs for tagging me !! finally got to sit down and answer this :3

let's hit it !

🧡 Name?

"Just call me V."

his first chosen name was penn, but he started going by vance after his medical transition. he doesn't give it out freely bc that was the name arasaka knew him by; he doesn't mention his surname, either, bc it's a pretty prominent one with much of its members still working for the megacorp in question.

🧡 Nickname?

"...Well, last I checked, 's still V."

apart from "mano" from jackie, vance doesn't have much in terms of nicknames. his old netrunning handle was N3tH0und (net hound); it's a retired username that's been largely scrubbed from the net, but sometimes he signs his major hacks with it just to fuck with people. it's a ghost's name, and it's fun to haunt the net only when he knows for certain that it can't be traced back to him.

🧡 Gender?

"Guy! Never been asked that outright before."

🧡 Star sign?

"'s not my scene--can't say I know much about it--but Misty's got me down as a Cancer, whatever that means. Says that's probably why I'm, er, so 'intuitive', as she called it. You ask me, that's just the merc work--bein' able to read a room, that is."

i first drew vance on july 7, 2023, so i consider that his birthday. like vance, i have no idea how being a cancer applies to him, but google says cancers are loyal, domestically inclined, and committed to their loved ones, so that sounds about right!

🧡 Height?

"Six flat. Johnny's pretty sure I'm taller than 'im...but he's slouchin' all the time, so don't think he's got a say in it."

🧡 Orientation?

"Usually go for other guys. But I guess the definition of that is pretty loose these days, 'specially in NC, huh. The hell does it matter to me if you've got certain...parts. If you're a guy, you're a guy, and if you're down, I'm down, y'know?"

vance is a gay man with a preference for masculine-identifying individuals. like he said, if you identify as a "guy" in any form, then that's good enough for him. he's not one to talk about having "appropriate" parts, and he thinks it's dumb that they're gendered in the first place. he's not usually looking for anything serious and he's more than okay with just being an input and having one as well.

🧡 Nationality/ethnicity?

"Nay's Indian. Tay's Filipino. Ya ask anyone, I look more like my mom."

nanay and tatay are the filipino words for mother and father, respectively. vance has a very limited grasp of either language but he at least knows that much from his dad's mother tongue.

🧡 Favorite fruit?

"Oh, man, 's been a while--this one time when I was growin' up, think I was ten or eleven, 'Saka sent Dad a basket of 'ganic fruit. For his 50 years o' service, I think it was. Anyway, had my first apple then. What I wouldn't fuckin' give for one right now."

he likes fuji apples the best :3

🧡 Favorite season?

"Gotta be winter. I got to go a lot of places back in '65--Europe, mostly--an' most of them were snowy. Loved seein' my breath fog up. You don't get that here. You get hot rains and the pavement steamin'--guess it's pretty, in its way, with all the city's neon shinin' through the rain.

"But it ain't a real winter without snow."

🧡 Favorite flower?

"If ya hike it out to the Badlands in the summer, you'll find these little white flowers blooming on the cacti; Net says they're called Saguaro blooms. I like their...tenacity, I 'spose."

"But if I had to give ya a traditional answer...blue hydrangeas. Maya--she used to grow 'em in her apartment, still don't know how she did it--she gave me some blooms for my birthday back in '70. A welcome home kinda thing. Don't got her green thumb, so they died a week later...but they were real pretty. Somethin' to look forward to comin' home to."

🧡 Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?

"Coffee--can't say it works for me, though."

he likes all three and refuses to drink his coffee black. he will put so much milk and creamer in that cup that it might as well be a dessert. johnny is disgusted (affectionate).

🧡 Average hours of sleep?

"...Hours, plural?"

vance is a champ at power naps and between the relic and an insomnia left over from his arasaka days, he doesn't get to bed much. if you do somehow get him into bed by morning, however, be prepared to not see him until near-evening the next day.

🧡 Dog or cat person?

note: those 10,000 photos are just the ones he has on his phone; do not look at the cloud where his kiroshi photos are stored.

🧡 Dream trip?

"...Was actually, erm, thinkin' of--well, when we get all this shit sorted out--I was thinkin'...might bring Johnny somewhere colder. Somewhere with snow. Said he hasn't seen snow before, so, I-unno, thought he might like it out there."

please take this time to imagine johnny in his android body nuzzled up to vance in the snow, red-faced and, for the first time in a long time, in awe. they're going to have hot chocolate later in some cabin vance rented out for the season--but right now, they're watching their shared breath cloud together in the air, simpatico even in this.

🧡 Favorite fictional character?

"Oh, oh--there's this real old holovid I used to loop when I was fifteen. 's fucked how they got most of it right. Anyhow, Rick Deckard. I used to think he was so damn cool."

deckard, with his big-collared jacket and general gruffness, was definitely one of vance's transition goals. that, and he watched br2049 right after--with how deckard was treating K, vance started projecting Really Fucking Heavily on K. like wow! you're a total killing machine with a father who just might love you. that's crazay man. could not be me

🧡 Number of blankets you sleep with?

"Run pretty warm as it is already, so just the one. Like the...texture of it, as it were. The weight o' it."

get this man a weighted blanket please god. i think it would fix him. alternatively, just lay on top of him and he'll be happy.

🧡 Random fact?

"I used to klep a lotta shit when I was a kid. Wires, chips, motherboards--mostly tech, really, from the vendin' machines and bus stops 'round the city. Sold 'em for a pretty eddie down in Heywood; got no buyers in the Hill, not when we could all afford the tech those Heywood kids were tryin' to kitbash together in the first place. Don't really know why I did it.

"To strike out, maybe? Maybe I liked the challenge. There's somethin' about makin' a machine give its own parts to you; get a vending machine to dispense its motherboard, a bus stop sign its LED, and ya feel like ya can make anythin' bend to your will."

--

thank you again for the tags!! this was a lot of fun to do :3

tagging @netripper , @knuckle-cluster, @matapang-coffee, and

@nakitengoku AND whoever else would like to do this! no pressure to do so ofc!!

if u ever dont want to be tagged in these kinds of posts, just lmk!

[batmanfruitloops]

MORE ASKS? YOU BET I WILL

number one: are there any general fun facts about anyone you guys would like to share, but haven't yet?

number two: anything you can share on your poison ivy? i love her. woman of all time

and lastly: are there any lesser-known (or less popular) rogues that'll be in the au? anything yall can tell us about em?

(sorry for multiple questions. this au scratches my brain)

So many questions is not a problem at all! I'm glad to have so many to answer,

Along with being a scientist, Viktor used to run an ice cream parlor with Nora and it was like a winter wonderland come to life. With his freezing expertise, it snows inside and their display window has a snowman built weekly to advertise their business.

They sold all kind of ice cream, frozen treats, and hot chocolate. Also, since Nora and Viktor were unable to have children, seeing so many come into their parlor was a way to vicariously live as if they were able to. After Nora's MacGregor's Syndrome reached stage 4, both of them stopped working there personally.

Cleo, or Ratcatcher, is very asthmatic, and so she has a mask to help with that. She also has an optional pair of goggles that I affectionately call "Boggle-goggles" because boggling is the something that rats do when they're happy. It's kind of like their eyes are vibrating.

Our Creeper is based on a Mandrill monkey as that's what he reminded us of when reviewing clips. Very silly animal brain. He drank all the funny chemicals and now his brain makes coo-coo sounds sometimes.

But of course! When Ivy plant pheromones don't work and she feels threatened, she grows thorns over her body and pulse and move like thorny veins.

Ivy has many sentient plants, but her closest is named Gloria. Mostly inspired by Audrey 2 from little shop of horrors, but also the piranha plants from Mario.

Ivy can photosynthesize, I don't know if she normally can, although eating and drinking food as a human normally would works too and is more efficient.

As for less-popular, or less-known rogues, yes! With that post I released earlier, there is quite the cast. This is also a good time to mention that there will sometimes be appearances of mine and Fluffy's favorite Justice League members and later down the line, the Titans too. This won't be often, but they will be here.

If I had to choose one for now though, I'd love to talk about Lynns, a.k.a. Firefly;

Lynns was born with body deformities that makes them look more bug-like, but also they were born intersex. Like most kids born as such, their parents (mainly father) decided that Lynns was specifically a male and named them Garfield. It didn't take Lynns long to decide that that was not how they wanted to be viewed, and pretty adamantly said this to their father to which, after a lot of trying to "convert" Lynns and a lot of back and forth, backed off albeit begrudgingly.

Because of this, Lynns isn't particularly fond of being called Garfield, or restrictive masculine things, although masculinity itself Lynns is not against. As they grew up most of their friends were pretty supportive and understanding, although there are some who view Lynns as just "Fi" and as a female, but they're fine with that. So long as it's not meant to be offensive.

Lynns had regular old prosthetic legs growing up, but as an adult, Lynns made their own legs that were meant to look more bug-like, as they like appearing that way. Lynns was always a pyromaniac and so they became a pyrotechnic for movies as an adult. They weren't badly scarred and burned until someone else accidently made a trick faulty.

Hope this info-dump is entertaining, :3

-Sarsee

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

Hi my sweet Cherry pie! I hope your doing good! I'm sorry to bother you but I had a question if you don't mind. Firstly I wanna say I absolutely love Chris Anastasia Tiffany Kat and Jenny! From their styles to personalities they are absolutely stunning! But I can't help but wonder what they would be like if they were the opposite gender? What are your thoughts?

Hey there Abs!! That means nothing but the world to me that you enjoy the Baby Bats! 🥺🩷🩷 They're my little brats and I'm more than happy to answer any questions for em!

I'd say if the Baby Bats were opposite gender, not a whole lot would change besides looks- their fathers looks DEFINITELY show out more that if they were girls- even if they did have much more of the boys features as girls as well.

Chris would also lean more into his mama's appearance and much more feminine. Maybe even a Fem!Chris would take Chrysta's name in a new gen!

Im not very sure on names, some of them might downright be fully new rather than a spin on their original names... Don't think it's really easy to make a masculine counterpart of the name 'Jennifer'

Chrysta stays the same protective mama she is to Chris cause David is still hard on his daughter about being so hesitant on embracing her vampirism- if anything I think he'd be a lot more pushing on the matter cause he thinks about Star when he sees how she acts, and it frustrates him deeply.

[punctuation-completionist]

@kraglynn

okay! i suppose we can do this then!

. ? ! , : ; ' " – — - · ... [ ] { } ( ) / < >

here's our list of punctuation at current moment .

(gonna like really quickly assume you know what the first four are for. they're easy. periods end sentences, question marks end sentences when the sentence is a question, exclamation points express emotion (raised tone i guess? it could be excitement. it could be annoyance. you get it), and commas break down sentences and whatever. you know commas.)

colon and semicolon are kinda like a comma in that they will subdivide sentences. some schools of grammar like to do this thing where they all are like. supposed to represent a period of time you should pause for? so it's like the period/question mark/exclamation point pauses longest, then the colon, then semicolon, then comma. it's a whole thing. i figure most of you also know how to use these

an apostrophe is for contractions! i'm pretty sure you also know this. quotation marks are for quoting things or occasionally as irony punctuation (called scare quotes in this case)

for the en dash and em dash, i'm going to refer you to either of these posts (though one of them is slightly off. there is technically a separate minus sign but some people use an en dash)

the hyphen (or technically hyphen-minus. don't worry about it. it changed when typewriters were invented so it's basically just the normal hyphen but i don't like it so) is used for hyphenated words. and names. you know the ones. look up a list of hyphenated words if you don't know any. some people use two hyphens in a row to be an em dash but that's kinda dumb. sorry.

the interpunct is mostly used in non-english languages honestly. in french it's cool because it thwarts the horrible gendering by being fun and making the word gender neutral (basically it's "word with masculine ending·feminine ending" as in étudiant·e . it's not official but like. no gender neutral stuff in french is official. so . i don't care.) but also it's in a lot of twitter screenshots so. and also also, sometimes i will count bullets as interpuncts because. it's easier. they're similar okay • vs · is fine (it actually bothers me but we can redecide on it later)

... you know ellipses right? sorry i'm busy, so i'll skip em. they're longer than a period in the length thing i think

[ ] brackets like these are mostly used for adding information, context, whatever to quotes! they're sometimes called square brackets. it's mostly just quotes.

{ } curvy brackets/braces are mostly used in math. they do have uses technically but like. they're mostly here because i didn't want to leave them out

(you know these too right?)

/ good ol' fashioned slash. not a backslash that's this guy \ anyways. this is used for like. either/or a lot. or pronouns. those are fun

< > these are technically the less than/greater than signs but they're honorary angle brackets because it's easier to type. proper angle brackets are these ⟨ ⟩ and they're used to offset parenthetical information if you're not using an em dash or parentheses for whatever reason. sometimes called chevrons. afaik the less than/greater than signs can be substituted unless you're like. writing something extremely formal. also sometimes used in comics to indicate something has been translated! also sometimes used to denote thoughts! ⟨hm should i call this a day now?⟩

yeah. that's good enough. but if you want more info on any specific punctuation, you can ask me more specifically and then i will answer it when i am less busy probably

[kingdaddydaichi]

☆ title: redefining (ch. 5) | (ch. 4) ☆ (ch. 6)

☆ pairing: cop!daichi sawamura x single mom!reader

☆ wc: 3.3k

☆ synopsis: four years after leaving your toxic ex, you find yourself a single mom to a 10-year-old boy named musubi, who harbors a lot of misdirected anger. you hear from his fifth grade teacher, mr. suga, more often than your own mother and a resulting friendship is born. meeting suga’s best friend wages a war between your head and your heart - one that challenges everything you think you know about love and police officers. neither are to be trusted. both have left you lost and scared when you needed them the most. so, when a cop comes knocking at love’s door, just how strong is your resolve to keep your heart under lock and key?

☆ warnings/notes (please read as there are some serious, potentially triggering topics in this chapter): nsfw. mdni. x/n = your ex’s name. daichi is a cop so there are cop things (car, uniform). bullet hole. (in italics) detailed flashback/recounting of past traumas with y/n's father, ex-boyfriend including abandonment, abuse (emotional, verbal, physical), cheating, domestic violence/assault, choking/strangulation, bodily injuries, dissociation, suicide attempt (mention), retraumatization by police, hypervigilance.

And, boy, you can bet if a move can be made She knows how to make Her own alibis and lyin’ eyes and all the best lines Lord knows she’s heard ‘em all She’s been cheated on and pushed around and left alone Lord knows what I’ve put her through And, boy, you can bet if a move can be made She knows how to make one on you

Alibis - Tracy Lawrence

You woke up the next morning in a mess of royal blue sheets and your skin saturated with Daichi’s masculine scent. You rolled onto your side and looked over your shoulder to find yourself alone in his bed. Raising up onto your elbows, you blinked as your eyes adjusted. His room looked different in the morning light. Now you could see the faint imperfection in the smooth surface of the opposite wall where the bullet hole had been before the man for which it was intended patched it up.

By the sound of things, Daichi was in the shower, providing the perfect opportunity to quickly get dressed and sneak out the door befo- shit! You remembered that your car and keys were still at Suga’s. Seemed you wouldn’t be giving the cop the old slip and making a clean getaway after all. You were considering making the trek to the train station on foot when the ensuite bathroom door slowly opened. Daichi peeked around, smiling as bright as the morning sun when he saw you.

“Hey, I was trying to be quiet in case you were still asleep,” he said softly as he stepped into the room, damp towel wrapped low around his waist.

Your eyes stayed glued to his hip muscles peeking out over the edge of the thick cotton as he leaned across the bed, your fingers moving to cover your lips just as he was about to kiss you.

“Oh no, I have morning breath,” you said, voice muffled behind your hand.

He grinned and leaned in closer. “And I bet you still taste just as sweet…” He moved your hand out of the way, testing your resolve.

The flavor of his toothpaste was still fresh on his lips when they met yours and you pulled back, giggling. “No fair! You already brushed your teeth!”

Daichi smiled and said, “Don’t care,” before reclaiming your lips. “Mm…wish I had more time, but I’ve gotta get to work,” he said, rutting his growing erection against your thigh.

“It’s just as well. I’m so sore, I don’t think I could handle another round with you right now.”

There was a glint of accomplished mischief in his chestnut eyes. “Is it a good sore or a bad sore?”

You playfully tugged at his bottom lip with your teeth. “Oh, it’s a divine sore,” you muttered into his mouth.

“Is that right?” he groaned, the towel absorbing a large bead of his precum. He hissed and dropped his head between his shoulders. “Damn, I really wanna fuck you right now.”

You bit your lip and sighed as he sucked lightly on your neck before abruptly pulling away, knowing if he didn’t stop that his dick would override his rationale and make him late for work.

He walked back into the bathroom before calling out to you. “I’ll give you a ride over to Suga’s on my way to the station.”

You tried to ignore the deluge between your legs and slid out of bed to set about finding your clothes and get dressed. Daichi’s reappearance did nothing to assuage the ache between your legs. He walked through with his uniform pants on, unzipped and his belt not yet buckled. He pulled a plain white t-shirt over his head before putting on his uniform button-up. He was tucking his undershirt in when he glanced over at you and laughed.

“Why’re you staring at me like I’m your next meal?”

“Maybe you are.” Your flirtatious smile fell and you looked away, the stark reminder hitting you like a ton of bricks when you noticed the police seal insignia on his shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Hm?” Your eyes flicked to his again. “Yeah! Fine!” you assured him with a contrived smile.

He didn’t believe a word of it. With one cocked eyebrow, his concerned gaze lingered on you for a moment, but he didn’t press the issue.

The ride over to Suga’s was painfully quiet, save for a few remarks about some new construction along the way.

Relief washed over you as Suga’s house came into view. After pulling into the driveway and putting the marked SUV into park, the police officer whose bed you woke up in less than an hour ago turned to you.

“Hey, would you uh…let me take you out sometime?”

“You mean, like, on a date?”

“If that’s okay with you…”

That you began chewing your lip and suddenly found the floorboard of his vehicle more interesting than the topic at hand wasn’t lost on him.

“…or not.”

“I’m sorry,” you said quickly, a genuine frown matching the guilt in your eyes. “I just don’t know if I’m ready for that right now.”

“Hey, no, don’t apologize. I wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with…but if you change your mind, I’d really like to see you again.”

His words set you at ease and you smiled. “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for the rides,” you said, winking at him as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

“Anytime,” he smirked. “Tell Suga I’d come in and say hi but I’m already pushing it time-wise.”

You nodded. “Okay, I will.” You stepped out of the car, your hand still holding the door as you took one last look at the best fuck of your life and smiled. “Have a nice day, Officer Sawamura.”

“Careful, honey.”

You chuckled, closing the door and turning to walk towards Suga’s front door. When Suga let you in, you heard the Interceptor’s tires rolling along the pavement as Daichi pulled away.

“Oh my god, Suga, wipe that grin off your face!” you said, closing the door behind you.

“I see Officer Friendly gave you a ride this morning. I also noticed you left your keys here," your smug friend said as he stood in his floral robe, dangling your keys from his finger. "What happened after you two left?”

“Nothing, Suga,” you lied, snatching your keys before walking away from him, trying in vain to stifle your giddy smile.

“You smell like him…” he said with a smarmy grin, following you to his kitchen where you helped yourself to a cup of coffee.

You buried your face in your hands. Knowing you were carrying Daichi’s scent around felt oddly comforting, but expressing how happy you felt was dangerous at best. How would you be able to keep yourself convinced that the man you slept with last night was nothing more than a one night stand if you gushed about him to Suga?

“You two fucked last night, didn’t you?” Your friend’s voice was dripping with pleased amusement.

“Yes, but only last night so don’t get yourself too worked up.”

“What?” Suga’s shoulders slumped, his hands falling limply from his hips to his sides. “Whyyy?” he whined like a child who’d just been told he couldn’t have the toy he saw at the store. “It was so obvious last night that you two like each other?”

“Yeah, but…”

“Uh-oh.” Suga’s tone suddenly turned serious. “But what?”

“I don’t date cops.”

“Okay? But he’s a lot more than just a cop. I know you see more than that in him.”

“Suga,” you turned to face him, “you remember when I told you that Musubi’s father used to hurt me?”

Sadness glistened in Suga’s eyes. “Yes, of course, but if you think Daichi would ever-”

“Listen, Suga. There’s so much you don’t know; so many details that I hoped I’d never have to tell you about. Not because I don’t trust you - I do trust you! It’s because it’s hard for me to talk about it so I try to avoid it as much as possible.” You rubbed a rogue tear from the corner of your eye.

Suga slowly approached you and put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “It’s okay, y/n, we don’t have to talk about it if-”

“No, I need to talk to you about it! You’re the only person I feel safe enough with, and you probably know Daichi better than anyone. You’re exactly the person I need to talk to about this!”

“Okay…okay,” Suga rubbed your back before grabbing both your coffee mugs. “Let’s go sit down then, hm?”

You nodded with a sniffle, wiping another tear away as you followed your best friend to his couch. He placed your mugs on the coffee table and both of you got comfortable before you started.

"Promise me you'll tell me if it's too much and I'll stop, okay?"

Suga nodded, and you took a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay. As long as you just stuck to the facts, you would be able to get through this.

Your father had bailed on you and your mom when you were little. Up to that point, you had been a Daddy’s Girl. Your daddy was the first man you ever loved, and the first to ever break your heart. He hung the moon and the stars in your sky; he was the god of your tiny universe, sure enough. But it seemed even he didn’t think you were worth sticking around for. So then how could you expect - let alone demand - better treatment from any other man?

X/n was the charming boy you went to high school with; the one you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. You were young and naïve, barely out of high school when you got pregnant, but the two of you began to build a happy life together. Within a few months of Musubi’s birth, however, your fairytale ended and your worst nightmare began.

X/n turned on you. He was no longer your high school sweetheart; he had become a scary stranger who made you feel like a prisoner in your own home. You would never understand why having a baby with x/n made a switch flip inside him, but you suspected he thought it would make it easier to keep you under his control. He hadn’t been wrong.

He would yell at you and tell you that you were a bad mom because you couldn’t do anything right. You quit your job and stayed home. You stopped seeing friends so you would have more time for him when he came home from work. But nothing seemed to make him happy. No matter what you did, he was never satisfied and it wasn’t long before he started putting his hands on you. He had so thoroughly convinced you that you were broken and incapable of making a man happy that you didn't believe you were worth saving from that hell. Maybe it was the best you could ever hope for.

Much to your chagrin and relief, x/n came home one day with a new woman and announced that he was leaving you for her. Told you it was your fault he cheated on you because you were too busy taking care of Subi to pay enough attention to him anymore. He went upstairs and packed his bags, leaving her standing awkwardly in the kitchen with you as you made your little boy’s dinner. It nearly broke you when your ex left, but you supposed it was the lesser of two evils. You bid him good riddance and did the best you could to scrape and scrounge and make ends meet for you and Subi.

Three months after leaving, your ex called wanting to talk about getting back together. But you were done. You had finally broken free and the last thing you would do was let him imprison you in your own home again. You and Musubi had been smiling more and you didn’t want that to go away, so you told x/n that you didn’t want him back. When he wouldn’t take no for an answer, you hung up on him as he screamed at you after saying you had to get Subi ready for bed.

Less than 10 minutes later you thought you heard a noise, but figured it was Subi trying to sneak around and play after bedtime. When you walked out of your bedroom to check on him, you saw your ex coming up the stairs. He was inside your home - having let himself in with the spare key the two of you had always left outside - forcing you back into your room before slamming the door, effectively blocking your only point of exit.

He was there to tell you how it was gonna be, and if he wanted to talk to you then, damn it, that’s what was gonna happen. When you yelled at him to leave, he grabbed you by the throat and told you it was his home too and he could do what he wanted.

X/n chased you down the stairs and caught you when you tried to run away from him. You cried and screamed and tried your damnedest to fight him off, but he was much too strong. He dragged you into the living room where he shoved you against the wall a couple of times before throwing you down to the floor where he choked you again - your vision going black at the periphery. You were sure he was going to kill you so you checked out, dissociated, gave up, played dead, stopped fighting to conserve as much breath as you could as you began to slip out of consciousness.

There was the distant sound of car doors closing when your ex suddenly got up and ran out the front door. A few moments later, he welcomed two police officers into your home and you knew everything was going to be okay; that you were safe. Little 6-year-old Subi had gone into your bedroom and used your phone to call 911, telling the dispatcher that his daddy was hurting his mommy and she needed help.

You were just getting up from the floor when one of the officers ran to you and started asking you if you had taken anything.

Holding your bruising throat, you furrowed your brow and blinked at him. “I- I took my multivitamin this morning?”

“Have you taken anything else? Anything that could hurt you?”

“Anything that could h-? I don’t understand,” you breathed, thinking your brain must really be short on oxygen. Just then, three paramedics rushed towards you. They checked your vitals, held your eyes open as they glared lights into them, and noting your pulse rate and blood pressure, announced that you were definitely under some sort of duress.

As the other two medics packed up their stuff, the one who seemed to be the lead gave you a look of pity and said, “Good luck.”

It was all so surreal. You didn’t understand what was happening.

When you began to tell the police that your ex had broken in, one of them cut you off and said they didn’t see any signs of forced entry. “Right, because he used my spare key! He knows where I keep it and-”

“He said he lives here…” the other interrupted.

“Th-that’s not true. It’s just me and my son.”

“Is he your son’s father?”

“Y-yes. Aren’t you going to arrest him and take pictures of my injuries?” Contusions and scrapes littered your body, and one of your fingers was broken.

“Ma’am, we have no way of knowing whether you gave yourself those injuries…”

Your eyes began filling with tears again. “B-but…I didn’t! He did this!” you cried, pointing in your ex's direction.

“That’s not what he told us.”

“What did…” You felt like you were being choked all over again. “What did he tell you?”

One officer looked away while the other crossed his arms over his chest. “He said you were going to attempt suicide and when he tried to stop you, you started fighting him and did this to yourself.”

Bile rose to the back of your throat. You might’ve known. “M-myself? Break my own finger? Choke myself TO THE POINT OF BRUISING?” You choked again…this time, it was on your own breath.

The motherfucking dirtbag of a cop had the audacity to roll his eyes at you. "Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to calm down."

"Calm d-...? Oh god." Feeling like you might be sick, you put your hand over your mouth.

They had let your ex leave, saying he was going to stay with a friend, and returned your spare key to you. You were at least thankful they didn’t think you were far enough off your rocker to take your son away from you that night.

Even though the cops had put the spare key in your hand and you had kept it inside - never to put it outside again, no matter where you lived - you lied awake the rest of the night. Musubi slept next to you, but every little noise you heard put you on high alert, wondering if it was x/n trying to break in again.

What was there to stop him? As long as he could convince the cops you were trying to hurt yourself, he could do anything he wanted and get away with it. You once thought that the police were there to serve and protect, but all they had done that night was retraumatize you and potentially put you in more danger. How were you supposed to ever feel safe again?

“I’m so sorry any of that happened to you, y/n. You’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known and it’s so hard to imagine something so awful happening to someone so wonderful. I hope you know you didn’t deserve any of that.”

You nodded your head against Suga’s chest, a strangled “thank you” squeezing its way through the constriction in your throat.

“Jesus fucking Christ, y/n! And then I went and introduced you to a cop last night. I’m so sorry, I had no idea!”

“No! Nononono, Suga, you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not upset that you introduced us! I just wanted you to know why I can't date Daichi." Wiping a tear away from your cheek, you chuckled. "But in case you didn’t know, your best friend is sooo good at eating pussy!”

"I did not need to know that," Suga said flatly.

“And my god, his cock is huuuge!”

Your friend held a finger up. “That, I did know.” Your eyes went wide, but before you could jump to conclusions, Suga offered a preemptive explanation. “Two words: locker room.”

“So…you two have never fucked?”

Suga waved his hand, laughing. “Pfftsshh…I wish! No, honey…Daichi’s straight as a board!”

“Are you sure?” you asked, a smirk playing at your lips.

“Trust me, hon, I’m sure. He’s never made so much as a blip on my gaydar,” he asserted. Suga waited a beat before changing back to the subject at hand. “So you like him, hm?” It was written all over your face.

The serious tone returned to your voice as you averted your eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Suga. There isn’t any long-term potential with him, but I’m worried things might get weird now since we're both your friends.”

Suga pursed his lips. He understood where you were coming from, why you had your reservations. But he also knew you. And he knew Daichi even better.

“Well, what happens between you two is your business and if things do get weird between you and Daichi, I can tell you that I won’t be weird about it. I will say this though…

I’ve known Daichi for over 10 years. He and I played on the same team together all through high school. I’ve seen him deal with a lot of tough situations and he’s had to make a lot of tough calls, but he’s always been fair and just in his decisions. There’s a reason he’s been my best friend all these years.” Suga put a reassuring hand on your shoulder and smiled sadly. “He’s a really good person, y/n. As his friend and as your friend, I think it would be imprudent to write him off just yet.”

ch. 4 ☆ ch. 6

31 days of daichi mlist | main daichi mlist | haikyuu mlist

☆ taglist: @chaoskrakenuwu @yuujispinkhair @luvkun4 @briokayama @mrs-sawamura @heroesfan101 @millenialfanfictionaddiction @lanaxians-2 @darthferbert @hannas16 @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @cookiesandmilksx @strawberrystepmom @maexc @little-ms-awkward @samkysnks @anejuuuuoy @productivity-blogs @patheticliesblog ++ get added

[trolls-confessions]

Just saw popular trolls artistTM post a new human AU and I'm just baffled, those are the NOT the same characters, where's the whimsy?? The silliness?? The bright colors?? At this point just make OCs if your just gonna keep the name and get rid of every trait that makes the characters. Like come on that's character design 101 😭

Their art is is good but they've been doing this alot (Viva being the biggest offense)

Also (this is just me being nitpicking) am not a fan of how they turn highly femme/girly characters into more masculine/butch, idk there's something that doesn't sit well with me :/

yeah i see a lot of humanizations sorta dull em down into mpre regular looking people which imo doesnt fit em. These characters are bombastic and colorful!!!!!!!

As for the last point, im unsure what designs youre reffering to so I lack context but generally i dont see an issue with portraying women as more "masculine" considering how women irl get demonized for being "masculine" but then again take it with a grain of salt since AGAIN i dunno what designs youre referring to or why and how theyre apparently more masculine

[tenrosedyke]

ok great news guys I have figured my shit Out:

- I'm not a man I'm just like. transmasc butch which honestly isn't a HUGE revelation since I've identified as butch for years but the transmasc part is new

- I do think there's going to be a slight transition involved in terms of like my appearance and stuff- top surgery obvi which I've wanted for years is still like priority but I also think I want to start microdosing t? just a little to see how it feels for a bit. And I think I'm going to get a packer just to kind of see how it feels- I don't have any dysphoria relating to that at all as of rn and I don't necessarily see bottom surgery being in my future but I think I want to dip my toe in the water just to see.

- even though it's scary I'm going to be like more open and honest about it now and like be more loud about it. it's not as big of a secret in my personal life but at work and stuff I really do make myself seem smaller and make myself seem more feminine and I'm going to stop doing that. and I'm going to tell people to stop calling me Emma I'm declaring that a dead name now it's just em lol

- I'm changing to go by any pronouns because upon reflection I've found I don't really mind either way. she doesn't bother me at all, I'm indifferent about they, he is kind of foreign to me but in a fun way. I like playing around with titles- for example, it would feel wrong if my siblings were to call me their brother, so i do still like sibling or sister for that kind of thing, definitely like kid or daughter and not son- but if I had a gf and she wanted to call me her boyfriend once in a while id like that. Or like it's fun being called sir in public and stuff. (And I have a praise thing and like being called good boy LOL. NEVERRR call me a good girl I'll scream)

- gonna put in more effort to like masculinize my personality if that makes sense I've always been so so envious of (what I perceive at least to be) the way dudes always seem to be so confident and loud and just like taking up space. I'm definitely not like that, my natural mannerisms are so feminine, and I don't think theres anything like actually wrong with that it does just cause me a lot of dysphoria so I'm going to make an effort to change that I guess?? I've heard t can just kind of make that happen we'll see. Probably about 90% of that is confidence that comes from not having debilitating gender dysphoria lol so adds up

I'm very excited to try t!! I have a lot to work out like, I'm kind of debating if I'll even tell most people? Or (especially if I microdose it) if it'll be subtle and gradual enough that it'll ever be brought up. But that's probably wishful thinking lol the changes I want would definitely be noticeable so I will likely probably have to have a VERY difficult conversation with my family I am not looking forward to. But hopefully my mother will take comfort in the fact that I am not a Man (although the view is bullshit it does work in my favor just a little) and I don't think she'll disown me over it, just be a super big asshole about the testosterone lol. However a deeper voice and (hopefully!!) smaller hips and more angular face and a little bottom growth will make that all worth it lol.

And I just bought a new binder that I think will help a lot because the one I use now is old and stretched out and not really designed for big chests anyways, and I'm going shopping with a friend this weekend so I will be very purposeful in buying clothing that makes me feel good (I wear all men's clothes now but a lot of it is more 'androgynous' because I've been clinging to a shred of plausible deniablilty that frankly I don't want anymore.) I also think getting a new cologne will help which I know is silly but it's something I associate very much with masculinity in my brain and the one I have now is, again, a 'unisex' smell for that plausible deniability. That being said assigning gender to things like clothes and smells is silly but I do not control what gives me euphoria lol.

All in all I am very pleased to come to this conclusion! Who knows if any of this will change LOL, and it feels weird because I debated for like three days and came to this conclusion but truthfully I've been struggling to come to terms with gender since like, 2018. so it is a long time coming.

now to figure out how to get my little dyke hands on some HRT BABY !!!!!

[1010ninetynine]

there's no single point. it's a mess. I'm not quite sorry.

I read Haikei, Seken-sama, the story of a trans man, and now I feel wrecked emotionally. I'm going to talk about it on tumblr dot com because no one else will hear this. well, it's not like the abyss of social media responds all the time. most of my moots like watching men kiss so idk if this even smacks for em. i mean there's one man doing the kissing? eventually? we don't even see it.

It's based on the author's experience living his life. The thought terrifies me to no end.

With this lead up you might think people die in this manga. No, no one does. No violence either. Definitely not as scarring as Banana fish, arguably.

Let me talk to you. Woman to algorithm.

Sorry if it's triggering.

The very first chapter features a kid with short hair putting on a school uniform, checking the skirt length, putting on chapstick, looking in the mirror and describing a creature in a skirt. They rush to school. Perfume is forced onto them. They try to wash it off. It's not coming off. She's accepted she's late, she walks at an even pace. She's accepted that despite everything she's a woman. And seeing the fate of an ugly girl, being treated as something to ignore and mock, she knows that she must be normal. It's better to be normal.

I say this without a shred of irony - Rino Tachibana feels like an alternate version of me. I mean, he ends up transitioning to be a male, and he seems like he gets laid more than I ever will. but that's boring talk.

the point is that I, like most people I imagine, hate and love the thought of being normal. of people not looking at me like im a weirdo. of being constrained by everyone's rules. they carve their way into my heart and thus engrave themselves into my soul. i want to be seen as a masculine figure but that's just not possible as a woman without being weird. i aim for the next best thing and it's not all that great. I've settled for being seen as a weirdo.

But Rino wanted to be a man. His name becomes Kanesho at the end of the manga.

She also loved Hanako, and knew Hanako wouldn't love her. She didn't conform to gender roles from an early age.

The truth is this is something that gays are known for, being unable to conform to society's expectations. there's people who argue that transition is a way to escape sexism/homophobia to an extent and I want to argue with those people that no, there are gnc gay men and women who just exist. I want to tell them that obviously no one would transition just for homophobia when I know so many who transitioned and ended up being gay because of it.

That's not consistent with the reality of the situation. If you're interested in women, and you prefer masculine activities, of course you'd want to be a guy. I know i've wanted my boobs gone as a teenager, hell, even now they bother me but I fucking ignore it. It's only natural, especially in a conservative country like Japan. I can't just like...fucking deny that. I can't deny that in countries like Iran, that might be your only option as a gay person if you want to, I dunno, fucking LIVE.

So yeah. It's definitely possible that a lot of trans people transition out of sexism/homophobia.

And that literally, in text, what is being described (not that Japan would kill her for liking girls if she didn't transition). Rino wants to be a guy to play soccer with the other boys, she doesn't like makeup and other feminine things, and doesn't like her feminine frame. Rino wants to be a guy because that's the only way she'd have a chance with Hanako.

Rino then tries to find someone for her crush so Hanako wouldn't be with anyone, only to get the wrong guy. She ends up dating him as a way to continue being with Hanako. She then breaks up with him because she knows she's not being honest + because she's masculine the guy's getting called gay for dating her and she feels like she's done something wrong.

I won't ascribe good or bad to Rino/Kanesho. I will say that what led to her living an honest life where he didn't have to suppress his desires was becoming more masculine (wearing a suit to graduation, and accepting that they kicked him out for it, transitioning medically and eventually getting a hysterectomy so he can call himself a Real Man).

I'm not saying this to blame Kanesho for his decisions, again I'm not sure what's right or not in these situations. I think they made him happy and in any case, he's not hurting a soul.

It just feels...it feels so fucking tragic is what it is. Rino would have never wanted to transition if her parents just let her be masculine. If she wasn't told that as a woman, liking other woman was wrong. And the truth is, this will fucking affect his life. He will not live as long, he's more at risk for osteoporosis, and several other health risks, all of this mentioned in manga btw. And he's accepted it because he's so happy living like this.

And how could he not? People don't judge him when he expresses interest in masculine activities, for dating girls, he's free to be himself. He just had to render himself infertile and at risk for numerous medical conditions, pay a hefty fee, and accept a reduced lifespan.

I don't misgender people who are real. I understand how fucking miserable it can be, and dysphoria's difficult to deal with. So, I use preferred pronouns and I generally try to avoid making people dysphoric. Rino/Kanesho Tachibana is not real, so I'm being honest about how I see her/him. I'm truly sorry if this bothers you - but I won't change that.

I too have looked in the mirror and hated what was there. I know what it's like to hate yourself so thoroughly transition seems like the only solution. And truth be told, I only didn't because I realized that if I continued T for long enough, a hysterectomy would be like...medically necessary. Vaginal atrophy would happen and I'd have to self lubricate. All of which, beyond my means personally.

what's my point? i don't have one really. haikei seiken sama was incredible.

[pastelcryptid]

something that I’ve personally not seen other people talk about exactly before re: Nope (despite talking in general about neurodivergency in the characters, some offhand jokes about being gender non-conforming) is that

as someone who loves a lot of action movies, save-the-world movies I am very aware on some level when I watch those films  (I mean, movies in general are like this but especially those genres) that they are taken up by (white, cis, straight) men. And as much as I might love those movies and the characters and the tropes, there is a fatigue that comes with experiencing such a high percentage of films where the cast is dominated by men. Sometimes there might be only one woman in the main cast, and you’re lucky if she’s treated well (this is obviously improving slowly), to say nothing of NB people. However, I noticed at some point that, huh, Nope is still a majority male cast. Yet I don’t feel that fatigue when I watch the movie. Why? 

Of what I consider to be the key players, four are men  - OJ, Angel, Jupe/Ricky and Antlers. Even with Otis Sr., who has about 3 minutes of screen time, he is a figure that looms large over the story. He established the ranch, its reputation (that in itself inspired by his great-great grandfather).

Apart from Emerald (appropriately named as she is a fucking gem) there are only a few female speaking parts in the film and they get a handful of lines. I would say that the most important women in the film aside from Em, in terms of how they fit into the themes of the movie, are Amber Park and Mary Jo Elliott. Amber has doesn’t have a huge part, and then she dies horribly. You could say Mary Jo also doesn’t have many lines but actually, when I was writing this I realised... Mary Jo doesn’t have any. The only time we hear her speak is when she’s saying Haley’s lines, the rest is barely intelligible begging as she’s brutalised. Adult Mary Jo never says a word, and then she also dies horribly. She never gets to speak for herself, Jupe takes all the attention, and she is consumed. This obviously fits into the whole thing, and I feel like you could write a tonne about Mary Jo alone, but this isn’t what I came to talk about exactly.

so, if it’s so male-heavy, why does it almost not feel that way? I think one of the most interesting things about this film, and something I love about it, is that it has such varied, interesting portrayals  of masculinity. Even in their mildly problematic to incredibly reprehensible moments, the men in this movie do not feel like cookie cutter sticks of bravado. The same ones we have been exposed to decade after decade, especially in Westerns.

firstly, you have OJ. I’m not saying anything new in talking about the fact that he is very spectrum-coded. He dislikes eye contact, finds it hard to pick up on social cues, he comes across as awkward or blunt to those who don’t know him well, likes his routine, and prefers to spend his time alone, working with the horses. He’s also speaks very little, in fact as a side bar, I would say Daniel Kaluuya has made quiet characters into an art form. He has played many roles that are not loud, or overly talkative, and yet they all feel incredibly distinct from one another.

I also find it important to note that another very good post by tumblr user @soupbi​ pointed out that, while I consider the autistic tones to OJ’s personality to be undeniable, there is a history of Black men having to avoid eye contact with white people in order to protect themselves from racist abuse/murder. I’d say this definitely factors in during the commercial shoot, particularly given Bonnie’s reaction to his name and everyone’s general rudeness to him that can’t be handwaved as general “well everyone in LA is rude af”. OJ’s Blackness is also relevant because his presence is not just another example of white masculinity and heroism. OJ is a hero, but he is allowed to be one not in spite of his lack of - for a better term - conformity, but because of it. His family’s place in film history is intertwined with Black history. His knowledge, his care, his skill, his love, his reluctance to Look, are all things that help to figure out how to deal with Jean Jacket, and keep his sister safe. And despite his difficulty relating to others, he accepts Angel pretty easily despite the fact that Angel has incredibly contrasting traits.

So then you have Angel. Again, not another white dude. I think if he had been played by one, he would’ve been danger of coming off a bit creepy/incel. Angel does have some tendencies that are more in line with what you might expect from a typical tech/conspiracy guy in these movies - griping about his ex-girlfriend in the beginning, referencing the whole “probes up our asses” obsession that so many people seem to have with UFOs (that I have always felt comes from a similar place of fear to prison rape jokes because... why is that such a common thread in invasion stories/theories?), and apparently he mines cryptocurrency based on something he has in his apartment?? I don’t know shit about mining crypto and I don’t want to, but anyway.

All this to say, when you get down to it Angel is a socially awkward guy with a lot of fear played with incredible depth by Brandon Perea (we all know how much the movie got edited to accommodate his revamped character). A lot of scenes in the movie involve him being visibly and verbally scared. Incidentally, maybe the line of his I find most charming is when he goes off about forgetting to do the feed for Antlers’ camera because he was busy rigging the sky dancers and then says “Sorry. I’m scared.” Taking responsibility for his outburst, admitting his fear. And while he isn’t exactly avoiding attention, he is one of the characters that seems most disparaging of fame. Most explicitly in the dinner scene near the end where he essentially says, “we’re doing this for more than just fame, right? We’re doing it to help people?” He is also visibly more disturbed by Antlers death than him potentially sabotaging their efforts to film. He takes OJ and Em in very easily despite his tinyass apartment. He’s an emotional, fearful guy. But he’s also allowed to be smart, loyal, and ultimately indispensable.

So then you have Jupe. I’ve seen it stated that Jesse Plemons was actually Jordan’s first choice for this role, but had scheduling conflicts. I don’t know at what point in the negotiations it was established he couldn’t participate, but I feel as though this makes a lot of sense when you look at the way Jupe is written and his background. If only because Jordan addresses the role that race plays in all his movies, and yet I feel as though Jupe’s identity as a Korean-American is not addressed as heavily as you’d expect - especially in a story that’s about fame, conformity, fetishisation and the consumption of other people’s trauma and personal lives. There are references, obviously, but it makes a lot of sense if you imagine it was written for a white man.

That being said, I think this works very well in a way that may not have been 100% intentional. For starters, Ricky isn’t even known by his name, he’s goes by the name of his most famous character in an attempt to hold onto the fame he achieved through Kid Sheriff. We know very little about Ricky Park as a person, and it seems as though there is a black hole between Gordy’s Home and Jupiter’s Claim. I’m kind of reminded of Ke Huy Quan and how after Indiana Jones and The Goonies he spent decades largely off-camera (and at one time used a different name because of racism) until Crazy Rich Asians inspired him to return to acting, as he didn’t think there was place for him (I recommend listening to his episode on the podcast Feeling Seen).

When you take into account Jupe’s presence on the sitcom, I know there are American shows like Diff’rent Strokes and Webster which involved white families adopting Black children and that was a key element of the show (I’m English and I’ve never seen those shows come up on British channels let alone watched them, but I looked them both up on Youtube and I noticed the living room in Webster looks very similar to the one in Gordy’s Home). So you have the complexities of that at play. I don’t know enough about this and I don’t think it’s my place to really go into it, but suffice to say you have that as a complex element in Ricky’s background. He’s mostly known for token roles and he’s had to play up to them to stay relevant. A once famous dude having unresolved trauma and a desire for  - or need for recognition through - the spotlight which eventually costs him and/or others is not new.

But I think there’s something very different about the way Steven Yeun manifests that, and manages to keep it grounded and even charming. In at least fan reaction to Ricky, it’s a pretty consistent response that we are disgusted by the way he treats the Haywoods and gets everyone at the Star Lasso Experience (including his wife and children) killed and yet we are also fascinated and even endeared to him. He’s not the guy punching holes in the wall, or refusing to open up to his wife, or going around stabbing people to death. He’s an Icarus, and we see his vulnerability. We were under the dinner table with him, we were there when he was alone with his wife, and we were with him as he stared into Jean Jacket and knew he was about to die. This isn’t meant to be a defense of his actions, obviously, just an observation about how he is presented as a man, especially one who literally cosplays as a cowboy (while he feeds the horses of the real cowboys to a flying saucer).

And then finally, you have Antlers. Antlers is the character I feel I least sympathise with and least understand, which is a personal thing (I’ll be interested to see what the Bluray special features affect this actually), but I think is also tied to the fact that he is what you would expect the most, historically, from a film like this. He is an old white guy. He’s sort of the old guard of cinema, and he’s very stoic, selfish, and keeps his cards close to his chest. Not to mention he has such a typically “Western” accent it took all 5 of my watches at the cinema to parse all of his lines. On paper he is the picture of traditional masculinity… except he’s actually not the picture of traditional masculinity. In every scene, he’s either wearing a dress or a skirt of some kind, and the bracelet on his wrist even goes against what you would consider traditional masculine jewellery. If he was a young man, the dress code might almost be read as a piss-take of “quirky” young filmmakers and thereby making a derogatory statement re: AMAB people who wear gender non confirming clothes. But this is a much older man who is clearly making a choice of expression and comfort. It’s not extravagant – in fact on my first watch I didn’t even realise Antlers was wearing a skirt.

All this to say, it’s incredibly interesting to have such diversity in storytelling and representation of gender through it, and that it doesn’t always come down to “there should be more women in this.”

Anyway guys did you notice there’s a big cloud mural on the wall in the Fry’s store? This movie is batshit

[lame2882]

About Me ✎

Howdy! Welcome to my blog!

I'm not great at introductions. I've been here for... a good amount of years and I'm just barely getting around to introducing myself on here.

Anyway, Hi! I'm an artist and a writer and have chosen this blog as the vessel of my machinations.

Basics:

☆ I mostly go by Lame! But some other names I enjoy are Mel, Lochland, Castor, and Gayl (yes, I have characters with some of these names too)

☆ I'm trans masculine! Still figuring things out right now, but the pronouns I use are he/they/xe/xem/ae/aer as well as some others that I'll clarify later down the post!

☆ I am an adult! Still don't try anything sketchy tho. I am taken.

☆ Dissociated daydreamer

☆ Although I am a writer, I don't like telling stories through... writing. I love unconventional ways to tell stories like... comics and video games. Y'know, things I don't know how to do

☆ I will talk obsessively about my OCs and fictional worlds and you can't stop me

☆ I am obsessed with The Legend of Zelda and have my own fanon universe/timeline for it. Is it lore accurate? Absolutely not, but have you seen the canon timeline?

Hashtags:

#lame reposts is a hashtag that I put all of my reblogs under, just to keep things neat

#lame art is for all my art!

#out of canon shenanigans is for all my stuff that isn't canon to any of my stories. Ranges from random one-offs to whole aus, which will also be tagged respectfully

#in canon shenanigans is for all my stuff that is canon to any of my stories. Usually concept art or short stories

#Foranon is for everything related to my fantasy world Foranon, one of my main wips that I post about... a lot

#BoSZAU stands for Balance of Shadows Zelda AU. It's my Fanon Zelda Universe/Timeline... which is basically an alternate universe for Foranon

#TRTS stands for “To Rewrite The Stars” which is a new wip about my persona Castor and his twin Pollux and how they navigate the world

#DTHS stands for Devil Towne High School, which is my interconnected universe of various wips. Most of the stories have been abandoned, but I might still use the hashtag from time to time for the stories that are still being worked on

I also have various hashtags for various OCs but we don't have time for all that. Just look up their names and you'll get it.

More information about me as well as where else to find me below the cut!

I'm trans masculine. I mostly use he/they pronouns, but have been doing some fuckery with neopronouns and even nounpronouns and they feel really nice so here's a full list of pronouns you can use for me!

☆He/Him

☆They/Them

☆Xe/Xem

☆Ae/Aer

☆Ey/Em

☆Star/Stars

☆Void/Voids

Please do not start discourse on my blog, thanks

I'm an artist and writer! I write original stuff, but the only stories I've actually managed to finish have been fanfics. I finished a whole trilogy of fanfics but can't focus long enough on my original stuff to finish anything.

I am an avid daydreamer and I often forget about my surroundings because of it and I feel bad because it makes me oblivious to a lot of things. A lot of my stories come from my daydreams.

One of these stories is Foranon! I'd love to give a synopsis on it, but there's literally so much that would need explaining that I don't have time to put it all down here. It's mostly just a worldbuilding project right now with a narrative worming its way through it. I'll have to make an infodump post about it and I'll link it here eventually. For now, take the blog I made for it that I never touch @foranongame

I also have Balance of Shadows! Which is one of the many fanfics I mentioned in the paragraph above. It's a Zelda AU where I decided to mess with the canon timeline into something I find cohesive. The characters in this AU are kinda the same in Foranon as Foranon is basically just me repurposing fan characters for something more original.

I'm also hoping to return to my story Ghost Freaks! Which is a comic I've been planning for 4-5 years now. I published the prologue of the comic back in 2020 and then motivation killed me so I never touched it again. Hoping to revamp it and start on it again soon! Again, have the blog I never touch @ghost-freaks-comic

I'm... not good at synopses.

Social Media

You can find all my social media on my carrd here

All my stuff is some variation of Lame2882 or Lame.2882

Interests

As said before, I'm obsessed with Legend of Zelda, but some other interests of mine are:

☆Omori

☆Little Nightmares

☆Pin Collecting

☆Danganronpa

☆Astronomy

☆Night in the Woods

☆ROTTMNT

☆Don't Starve

☆Sky: Children of the Light

☆Ghosts and other supernatural stuff

And I think that's all you really need to know about me! Feel free to say hi!

[projecthipster]

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, by Haruki Murakami

This portrait of May Kasahara is by the brilliant but sadly seemingly forgotten blog Art for every page of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

“The point is, not to resist the flow. You go up when you're supposed to go up and down when you're supposed to go down. When you're supposed to go up, find the highest tower and climb to the top. When you're supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the bottom. When there's no flow, stay still. If you resist the flow, everything dries up. If everything dries up, the world is darkness.”

This is a book about a man who gets so sad that he decides to sit in a hole. And then it starts getting weird. It never really stops, and it never really ties everything together, but it does barrel toward a conclusion that feels appropriate for reasons that can’t entirely be explained. There’s a sense of cohesion in a mirrory sense, if not in a mystery-solved sense. There are flashbacks to the Second World War in Manchuria that read like entirely different, vaguely related short stories. Those are interesting, but also the parts that drag the most.

The truth is, it's a little difficult to describe what The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle is, because it's so much that I hardly remember most of it. This was my second Murakami book, after Norwegian Wood, which was a thematically interesting but generally pretty low-key drama. Wind-up Bird starts on that same foot, following an unemployed Murakami Protagonist Man, here named Toru Okada, who, like the rest of his Murakami Protagonist Man kin, spends his days in suburban Tokyo cooking pasta, drinking beer, listening to jazz, feeling generally melancholy, and having less than exemplary and realistic relationships with the women in his life. His cat, named after his evil politician brother-in-law, has run away, and his wife Kumiko soon follows. There's a well in an abandoned neighbouring house, which he discovers alongside a death-fascinated teenager (see header picture.) Various conversations with strange women and old soldiers occur. Toru realizes that meditating in a hole might open other worlds to him. The reader, at least this reader, only realizes the significance of this later, that this man who so subverts the heroic masculine ideal in his generally passivity here becomes important for his inherent talent for being passive, as Toru is swept up in a secret conspiracy, dating back to the horrors of the war, to enter a spirit realm where the forces of good and evil are more fundamental, and therein defeat evil in a crucial battle. That makes it sound like a high fantasy novel, which it's not, except in the sense that it maybe kind of is.

What it is is dreamlike, esoteric, meandering, and hard to recommend or understand. You just have to, like, experience it, man, which is a very hipster thing to say, and I think that may be why this book more than other Murakami (but as well as most Murakami) is on hipster lists.

Read this if you have a lot of time, a missing cat, and a deep hole to sit in.

I give this hipster book four disillusioned wanders through city streets out of five.

Project Hipster is a futile and disorganized attempt to dive into the world of things that the internet has at some point claimed "are hipster," mostly through ListChallenges search results.

This review comes from the first list, Hipster Lit: If You Haven't Read 'em, Pretend You Have.

Stay deck.

[skullets-main]

Hello! I'm Skull3t! (Or just Skullet)

I moved here June 17th of 2023 due to Instagrams horrible moderation and haven't been active for quite some time, so I decided I'd redo my introduction

(Long intro)

I am 15 years old, I will become 16 in May!

I like to draw (though I don't do it too often due to energy), sing songs terribly, and make jokes, I have AUDHD (Autism & ADHD), I have a special interest on animals, FNAF, and World Building/the world's i make!

Nicknames:

Skullet, Skull, Error (discord name), critter, if we are moots/friends you can also give me your very own nickname :] (as long as it isnt derogatory or a direct insult), if you know me personally by my actual name, no you dont! :) please dont refer to me by my name! 👍

Pronouns:

I prefer He/They pronouns, though they may fluctuate! Its better to ask for my current pronouns, but those are the default "okay"s! I am Transmasc and I identify with Genderfaun! If you are unaware of certain things mentioned like Transmasc, or Genderfaun, I Highly encourage doing research! You may learn a lot, possibly even gathering information on yourself too!

TSLGBTQIA+ idenities:

Transgender/Trans-masculine, possibly Aromantic & Asexual, Genderfaun, Attack helicopter🫶 /ref

Music/interests:

My music is all over the place, but there are a few things I can name: Miracle Musical, Hamilton Musical, TV Girl, Lemon Demon, The Rare Americans, Mother Mother, Alex G, Tons of FNAF songs (i have an hour and a half long playlist of FNAF songs), Marina (and the diamonds), and I think that's all I can name atm for songs!

Things that interest me/that i like: Animals, FNAF, Music, World Building, Drawing (digital), Painting, fursuits, furries, fantasy, Horror, Food (you will win my heart with food), Stuffed Animals, Anime (not huge on sitting down and just watching a show/movie, but when I want to I like em)

Things that I want to do in the future: Learn to animate, Play the Piano & guitar, Make music (on the side, I don't think I'd want it to be my actual career), learn to crochet, try pottery, make stuffed animals and other cool stuff :]

W e l p

*slaps knees as I'm about to stand up*

Thanks for reading this far! It's a LOT 😭 I just wanted to make this rlly fast

Bye! Have a good day, evening or night!

[egothoughtsystem]

Who Is Responsible for Making the illusory Universe and it`s Inhabitants?

Disclaimer: I know nothing! It is not this authors responsibility to convince or even suggest any individual believe what is written here, it is the sole ( soul ) responsibility of each individual to decide what their journey means to them. This author understands all things are a form of energy, only in the illusory universe made by the ego.

What this author likes to call his journey has been developing into nothing more than a fantasy created by the wrong mind ( ego ) of deception. It is his understanding all beings are searching for something to fill a void with no real understanding as to what this void really is.

Just about every religion or culture has a savior or a god they worship. What is interesting is they all believe their god is the real and only one, this is true because it is the same god within the illusionary universe. Many have come to try and teach the truth and help wake up the dead aka human beings aka Homo sapiens only extant human species. The name Homo sapiens is Latin for “wise man” and was introduced in 1758 by Carl Linnaeus.

Well obviously the wise man ( self included ) hasn`t learned a hell of lot since the beginning of what we call time.

There are many theories and beliefs as to who or what has been controlling this game from the start. This author makes no claim as to what the answer is.

What this author understands now is the universe as we know it is not one of spirit aka god aka creator aka source.

The Gnostic’s share a story about Sophia-Gaia who was responsible for creating matter and all within this universe. Below is from the Nag Hammadi Library.

TRIMORPHIC PROTENNOIA

" First Descent: The first thought ( silence ) is thought through light which gives shape to the fallen. ( masculine )

Second Descent: The voice ( speech ) from the thought which is the breath ( spirit ) that gives life that empowers the fallen. ( feminine )

Third Descent: The Word or Logos from the voice of thought takes human appearance and teaches the light or truth.( masculine ) "

In Christian theology, the heresy that in the incarnate Christ there were two coexisting persons, human and divine.

We are now moving into dualism.

noun noun: dualism; plural noun: dualisms

the division of something conceptually into two opposed or contrasted aspects, or the state of being so divided. “a dualism between man and nature” Philosophy – a theory or system of thought that regards a domain of reality in terms of two independent principles, especially mind and matter ( Cartesian dualism ).

noun: Cartesian dualism – the religious doctrine that the universe contains opposed powers of good and evil, especially seen as balanced equals.

Origin late 18th century: from dual, on the pattern of French dualisme.

noun: individuality

Here we have the illusion of separation between mind ( ego ) and spirit ( one ) which becomes dualism making duality in-turn makes individuality. Notice the word duality at the end of the word individuality. This makes the dual within the individual.

TRIMORPHIC PROTENNOIA Codex XIII ( 13 ) Nag Hammadi Library.

" Then the Perfect Son revealed himself to his Aeons who originated through him, and he revealed them and glorified them and gave them thrones and stood in the glory with which he glorified himself. They blessed the Perfect Son, the Christ, the only-begotten God. "

In the world of reincarnation there is a term which relates ones past existences with today’s. The word is ASPECT, Christ was making aspects or duality. (The Egyptians identified Christ – Messiah using the letters Iu-em-hetep, Iu-em-hetep means “He who comes in peace as number seven”. COULD THIS BE the continuous coming of the Christ – Messiah ( right mind ) trying to wake us up by teaching us who we really are?

Which may explain, Matthew 24:36 “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.” Each individual will experience this in their own mind.

Many individuals believe Lucifer is the prodigal son which is true because you and I are also the prodigal son.

Sophia is known as wisdom which could be the mind of Christ. In the Genesis story the female EVE is blamed for what is known as the fall of man. This is when many believe sin entered the game, there is no sin other than the illusion to believe it.

( KJV ) John 1:3 " All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.” Well this verse pretty much answers the question. Who is responsible for making the illusionary Universe and it`s inhabitants? We are the makers of the dream, we are the Son of God.

( KJV ) Revelation 13:18 “Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.” Many believe this is the number of the Antichrist and they are correct, because it is man.

The illusion ( dream ) made up by the ego and the story of Jesus has been turned into one about the Son of God shedding blood THE SACRIFICIAL LAMB who came to save the world from sin.

All illusions are made from the imagination within the ego mind. Just as a magician creates an illusion to divert the audience from what they think they are actually seeing, the mind has been tricking us to believe we have a body.

God is one or wholeness it would be impossible for God to create duality, this would not make God whole. Could this be what the Big Bang theory is trying to reveal? The split of Adam to create Eve is the split of the mind from spirit.

Could the story of Christ and true meaning of the resurrection be one of the mind? Is the true teaching about correcting thought and abolishing the ego? As long as the ego is in control of the mind there will be no peace.

It only makes sense we made the ego. Jesus for most of the western world is the teacher to help us to abolish it. The church turned him into being a martyr. God is love there is no way God would create duality or sacrifice anyone. Everything outside of God is not real, it is all a dream ( imagination ) the ego wants us to believe we are a living body, there is no real body, all things are made by the split mind and all things happens in the mind. Just like when you go to sleep and dream it seems to be real until you think you wake up and know it wasn’t real.

There is no sin you are innocent, guilt is the result of believing the separation happened. The real message is about learning what true forgiveness is and seeing all your brothers and sisters as equals and innocent.

The story of Sophia is about a dream.

Infinite love for all,

John Michael Shea III aka JMS29

“Knowledge is knowing which enables you with the power to know the truth about love.” ( John Michael )

“Fear when eliminated opens up many doors. Love when understood keeps those doors open.” ( John Michael )