#not a library its all these stories and lives around you coming together with your own in this one spot this one means of understanding and

[broke-on-books]

Don't know exactly how to express this in words but the Fast Car Tracy Chapman youtube comments section is a new emotion on its own

[lordprettyflackotara]

noise || homicidal liu & jane the killer || maid!reader || (𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓵𝔂pasta au)

SMUT MINORS DNI 18+ tw: threesome, dom!jane, dom!liu, knife play + blood play combo, overstimulation, ownership kink lowkey, breeding

Being at the Trenderman mansion was odd.

Not because of its residents, but because of what they allowed you to do.

After your encounter with Helen you never saw him or any sign of him, minus the news channel blowing up after he went on a manic killing spree. With nothing left to clean due to how pristine the mansion was, you were left to your own devices. For the remainder of your weekend you wondered around the mansion aimlessly, admiring all of the freshly polished wood and satisfying forest smell at every turn. The only place you found real comfort in was the library, which was giant in comparison to anything you had ever seen. When you were particularly bored you’d wonder there, curling up in a nook by the window to read to pass time. Truthfully you were enjoying the tiny break, but your body was yearning for some sort of satisfaction. You weren’t sure if it was supernatural or not, but your sex drive was high enough to please all of the mansions residents.

It was Sunday night, Ben and Toby scheduled to pick you up the following day. You were in the last clothing item you had clean, a skimpy silk lavender night gown. The mansion was cooler at night, goosebumps trailing across your bare skin as you headed towards the library. It was the dead of night, most of the mansions residents out and about. You pushed open the doors of the library, the overwhelming smell of cigarettes invading your nostrils. You were surprised to see two shadows sitting in your reading nook. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of Jane the Killer and Homidical Liu, talking amongst themselves as they shared a cigarette.

Jeff was not kind when it came to the descriptions of Jane or Liu. To Jeff, Jane was the psycho bitch who deserved her fate, while Liu was the moronic brother who he deemed to need therapy. You found this ironic coming from Jeff, but never vocalized any form of protest. Yet the stories he told made them out to be the worst of the worst, killers that would slice and dice you mercilessly at the first sight of you. You swallowed, realizing your gawking had alerted them of your presence. “There you are! There’s our little bookworm!” Jane cheered, rising to her feet. You couldn’t help but notice the way her hips swayed when she walked, a smile spreading across her lips. She approached you with ease, your body tense and eyes wide as she threw her arms around you. As you inhaled you could smell her perfume, the sweet scent of chocolate and cherries swirling around your nostrils. Jane noted your tenseness but pretended she didn’t notice, looping her arm through yours.

“I’m Jane and this is Liu. But since you live with Jeff i’m sure you know who we are,” She said, gesturing to each of them as she spoke. Her voice was smooth like butter as she walked you over to Liu. The brunette seemed intrigued by your appearance. “So it’s true, you really are human,” He commented. Jane joined him by his side, not failing to elbow him. “Be nice,” Jane hissed. Liu rolled his green eyes, placing the cigarette to his lips and inhaling. “So uh, are you two together or..?” You began to ask, your voice trailing off. Jane chuckled at your joke, Liu exhaling his cigarette smoke. “Oh no baby I don’t swing that way. I like pretty girls like you,” She laughed. You felt heat dash across your cheeks, her enchanting obsidian eyes staring at you. “You ever smoke a cigarette before?” Liu asked, his voice gruff. You awkwardly scratched the back of your neck. “Well uh maybe, one or two times I think..” You said honestly. Jane reached out and grabbed your arm, plopping you in between the two of them.

“Why don’t you give it a shot?” Jane cooed. Unsurely you took the cigarette from Liu, placing in between your lips. As you inhaled you noticed Jane’s soft hand placing itself on your thigh, while Liu scooted closer toward you. The tobacco swirled around your lungs, your eyes watering as you coughed. Liu chuckled at your reaction, watching as Jane took the cigarette away from there. “You’ll learn kid. Don’t worry, there’s a lot of things Jane and I can teach you,” Liu said. Jane smoked the cigarette with ease, your body melting under the touch of Liu pushing your hair behind your shoulder. “L-Like what?” You sputtered, your heart pounding. Jane placed the cigarette in a nearby ash tray, giving you a seductive smile. “You have such a pretty mouth baby, I think putting it to good use will teach you a few things,” Jane mused. Her words sent a chill down your spine. You were practically trembling under their touch. “What’s wrong kid?” Liu asked, grabbing your chin to force you to look at him. His emerald eyes were full of dominance, peering down at you curiously. “Well J-Jeff said-” You started, Jane quick to cut you off.

“Oh honey is that it? Did Jeff say bad things about us?” Jane asked in a sweet tone. You nodded quickly, Jane and Liu exchanging glances. “We’re not scary, are we Liu? Why don’t you show her how loving we can be?” Jane suggested. Liu hopped off of the bench, immediately falling to his knees. Jane made her way behind you, guiding you to lay against her chest. Liu’s skin was comfortingly warm, while Jane’s was cool and soft. The two made your heart pound and cunt throb, the idea of Jeff’s worst enemies getting you off liberating and terrifying at the same time. Your thighs were shaking with fear, Liu’s warm chapped lips pressing soft kisses onto your inner thighs. Jane pulled the straps of your night slip down, gently rubbing your exposed skin. “You caught us on a good night, Sully would’ve eaten you alive by now,” Jane whispered. She pulled your night gown down until your bare breast were exposed, your nipples becoming hard under the cool night air. “S-Sully?” You sputtered. Liu’s hands slithered under your gown, yanking down your thong. “Liu’s counterpart. Don’t worry baby we’re gonna take real good care of you," Jane cooed.

Her soft hands traveled to your breast, toying with your nipples as Liu's hot breath fanned over your cunt. You whined at the sensation, goosebumps traveling across your skin as Liu licked a stripe up your cunt. "Oh there she is, theres the good little whore everyones been talking about," Jane chuckled, twisting your nipples harshly. You whined as Liu attached his lips to your clit, violently sucking at the bud. One of your hands tangled itself in his hair, the other gripping onto Jane's thigh for support. "You know we've been waiting for your arrival, precious thing," Jane whispered. You whimpered as Liu lapped at your folds as if he were a starved man. "You see we're not above pissing Jeff off for fun," Jane snickered. You watched wide eyed as Jane took out her knife, handing it to Liu. "Now having his sex slave marked with our initials? That sounds like great fun to me. I'd focus on my voice honey, this may sting," Jane told you. You screwed your eyes shut as Liu brought the tip of the blade to your inner thigh, the sharp slicing of your skin making you cry out in pain. "Shh baby you're doing so good. Your reward will make this all the worthwhile," Jane cooed, watching in satisfaction as Liu finished carving an L.

Jane took the liberty of sliding her hand down to your aching cunt, circling your abandoned clit. You groaned as Liu began to carve the letter J, licking the blood from the other cuts. "Well would you look at that Liu, I think she likes it," Jane chuckled darkly. With your blood still fresh on his tongue Liu pulled away from nursing your wound, finishing Jane's initial. "What a dirty little whore, I knew there was a reason everyone loves her so much," Liu replied, his cock beginning to ache in his jeans. Slowly you blinked your eyes open as you whimpered, thin beads of blood forming from the fresh cuts. They still stung as Liu continued to lap at them, causing you to curse. Your body was confused, Jane playing with your cunt while Liu cut you making your head spin. "I hope you didn't go too deep Liu, poor slut already looks dazed," Jane commented. Liu wiped his chin, the clinking of his belt sending a chill down your spine. "We better get on with it then. Wanna see what the hype is all about," He said, pulling down his jeans. Jane rearranged you, making you lay down as the two of them undressed. She took off her panties, hovering over your face. You couldn't quite understand why your body craved what it did, but you wanted nothing more than for the pale killer to ride your face until sunrise.

Eagerly you stuck out your tongue, gasping as Liu abruptly shoved his cock inside of you. He bottomed out quickly, your mouth in the shape of an O as Jane sat on your face. You tried to focus on lapping at her folds, her juices addicting and thighs squeezing your head. "Surprised she still has such a tight cunt after being the community's gloryhole," Liu panted, harshly gripping your waist. You tried your hardest to please Jane, having never eaten pussy before. You tried to do what you thought would feel good, listening to her sinful noises to ensure she was feeling the best possible. "Yes well her tongue can certainly make up for whatever aspects she may lack," Jane agreed, grinding her hips down and onto your face. With shaky hands you grabbed her thighs, trying to balance yourself as Liu began to fuck you. His thrust were anything but slow, the brunette immediately seizing the opportunity to spite Jeff by fucking you. "Think I can get her pregnant? Take Jeff's play thing off the market?" Liu asked Jane, your walls fluttering around his cock at the thought. Your moans vibrated against Jane's folds, causing her to lean forward in an attempt to support herself.

"Sounds like a wonderful plan Liu. You sick twisted bastard," Jane moaned, her eyes fluttering shut as she rode your face. You struggled to be able to focus, both of them overwhelming you. You could hardly keep up with Liu abusing your cunt, purposefully giving you the roughest fuck he could provide. He wanted to send you home with puffy folds and the inability to walk, with his and Jane's markings showing everyone it was their doing. Jane wanted to use you to the fullest extent, grabbing your breast and toying with your nipples as your tongue teased her entrance. This was your first time pleasing a girl and you couldn't get enough. Jane was coming close to her orgasm first, her moans becoming more jagged and uncontrolled. "Fuck, she's fucking good at this. You think we can keep her?" Jane asked, the cord in her stomach tightening. Liu grinned as he put your legs over his shoulders, somehow fucking deeper into your core.

“I’d like to, i’d get a chance to breed this cunt every day,” Liu replied. He brought his thumb to your clit, drawing circles around the bud as he plowed into you. Jane bit her bottom lip, her thighs squeezing your head as she came closer to her orgasm. “Gonna c-cum,” She warned, her head tilting back as she came on your face. Feeling her cunt flutter around your tongue was addicting, your hands keeping her locked into place. You didn’t stop assaulting her cunt through out her orgasm, the pale killer at a loss for words. “Overstimulating Jane kid? My my you are crazy slut,” Liu chuckled. Jane licked her lips, her sinful noises uncontrollable. She shoved Liu’s hand away from your clit, replacing it with her tongue. Your moans became even louder, Liu’s cock continuing to abuse your cunt as it pleased. The cord in your stomach was tightening, your thighs beginning to tremble as your head began to spin.

“Look at that Jane, got her nice and tremblin’ for us,” Liu snickered. The pale killer grinned at the sight, deciding to graze your clit with her teeth. The sensation sent you over the edge, your body shaking as you came on Liu’s cock. His hips began to stutter, your name falling from his lips as he came deep inside of your cunt. On auto pilot you continued to lap at Jane’s folds, determined to make her cum one last time. She braced herself on your thighs, her sinful noises echoing throughout the library as she came again. She slowly lifted off of your face, her thighs shaky and heart racing. You were dazed to say the very least, watching Liu slowly pull out of you. You could feel his warm cum drip down your cunt, both him and Jane admiring the sight. She licked her lips, settling in between your thighs. “Oh no baby, it looks like you wasted all of Liu’s cum,” She said mockingly. With two fingers she gathered what she could, shoving it back inside of you, causing you to whine.

She hovered over your abused folds, your core throbbing as her sinister eyes met yours.

“Whadda say I get you cleaned up so Liu can give you more? Maybe this time you’ll keep it where it’s supposed to be.”

[haerni]

OH MY GOD, “who is he? ”

summary: feels like you’re fallin’ deeper & maybe you’re going crazy, right? does he want you or not? he’s so confusing!

ft. park sunghoon (based on ‘OMG’ by newjeans!)

content: fem! reader, tooth-rotting fluff, a lil bit of hurt comfort, sunghoon is that confusing guy, mutual pining, reader is a bit embarrassing i think? sunoo your support system! 1.8k words

— very very minimal proofread and editing bc ive only done this in one sitting (help me).

( 🍃 ) notes: this took me so long omfgsbks but here we are with my very first content on this blog, please be nice TT sunghoon might be ooc saur.. theres that! can u tell i love sunoo, i have to sneak him in. maybe the story will jump for awhile so sorry for that also.

you've probably liked PARK SUNGHOON for almost half of your life.

ever since he sat with you at the swing from the park you used to go to when you were kids and offering his own comfort when you were crying on that day, to this day forward when he offers his shoulder for you to cry on.

he never questions the reasons behind your cries, he never pushes and all he does is sit there and offer you whispers of solace that you take to heart.

because your best friend wouldn't want the worst for you.

because all he does is care for you.

and maybe—just maybe—you hate him a little for it, for doing things that make your heart flutter, for simply just touching your hair and pulling you closer hoping that it will quell the sadness that consumes you. or when he would walk with you home after his practice despite being tired and run down to the bones, he would never miss a day. or when he would call you such sweet things like you are together when you aren't.

or when one time he heard through jay how someone was making passes on you and disgusting comments about you, he comes home with a bruised lip and wounded knuckles. he refused to let you see him, not until you forced your way to his room with the first aid kit his mother let you borrow, because he also wouldn't let her treat him.

or when you can't even pretend to be okay in the sea of bodies in a party and he notices right away. he drags you by your hand and drags you out of the party without a care for anyone. he only tells you that he hates the party and would rather eat out in a convenience store nearby.

he holds your hand tightly, you knew that night you loved park sunghoon more than you could ever imagine.

a decade into your friendship, you fell in love with your best friend, park sunghoon.

you did your best to hide it, to keep these emotions at bay and lock away into the very bottom of your heart. you swallow the bubbling feeling in your throat whenever he's close. you did your very best to preserve the relationship the both of you built together. even if all you wanted was just ruin it and become something more.

loving park sunghoon was easy, it was easy as the breeze that touched your hair, it was easy as falling into a routine of living and looking forward to days when he's with you. the prospect of loving sunghoon comes naturally and you don't know how to stop it. it just grows more everyday and suddenly you find yourself in garden of flowers blossoming in your heart, so much that's its starting to flow out little by little and you're slipping, you're heart is becoming unguarded, the walls you've spent all your life building is chipping away slowly.

it's becoming suffocating, it's hard to breathe around him.

the passing touches, the stolen glances and brief silence has been occurring more and more.

it's only a matter of time, before someone catches on. unfortunately, that time is right now.

"what's with you and sunghoon, lately?" your friend, sunoo asks, "did you guys have a fight?"

a second passes before you answer him, "we did not. why do you ask?"

sunoo sits closer to you and puts his face on his palm, "you have been avoiding him."

you stopped, "no, i'm not."

"it's lunch and you're sitting here with me in the library, working on an assignment that's not due until next week, when you usually never miss eating when he comes by our room to eat with you." he pointed out.

too specific. were you that predictable? and when you don't answer sunoo realizes something. when his eyes widen too much for your comfort that's when you interject from whatever train of thought he had.

"or maybe—"

"i don't know what you are talking about, sunoo."

"you're avoiding him.."

"i already told you, i'm not—!"

"sure, keep telling yourself that." sunoo snorts at that, "i know you like him and not how a best friend should."

you can't breathe again, you were absolutely done for. because sunoo was right, he got the answer right and you couldn't find it in yourself to quip back at him. you can't find it in yourself to deny and brush it off, because it's simply not real, it's not what your heart is telling you. maybe, that was your last straw.

maybe that was all it needed for you to let out your heart just for once and face the reality.

you don't want sunghoon as a best friend.

the realization hits harder when someone utters it out, because you have lived all your life hiding and suddenly, it pours out like rain after a long unending drought.

now here you are. in the porch of your house under the moonlight with you encased in sunghoon's arms, because you were stupid enough to go out and try to forget about him, to go see other people and hope that you can lose all these feelings you have for him. it didn't, maybe it never will. a boy, somehow he's the same height and stature as sunghoon it was enough for you to agree for a dinner out.

it was stupid to begin with. you didn't even know this guy's name (you can't even bother to remember). because while you sat there and tried to engage with him, your mind drifted far on how he does not have the same moles as sunghoon, he does not make you laugh like sunghoon does, maybe he would've took you out to that ramen place you always go to after a long day instead of this fancy restaurant that you don't even know. quite sure enough that guy only talked about himself, you didn't listen.

"so are we going?" he gives you an all-knowing smile and as you try to turn him down a voice comes in.

"she's not going with you." you look behind, and there he stands one hand in his pocket wearing a white button-up shirt that you haven't seen before, a cold gaze accompanying it and his hair done all too perfectly—like he was on a date.

"hey! who do you think you are?" sunghoon ignores him as he offers his hand to you. tilting his head in question. you did not hesitate to grab it. it's almost a curse for him to know when you need him the most.

you can feel the heat rising up in your body as he intertwines both of your hands and gives it a squeeze.

he brings you home, like how he promised your dad when you were sixteen.

you bite your lips in hopes of suppressing all the emotions running down on you. but you can't really do that in front of sunghoon, can you?

you broke down.

and sunghoon was there—it was enough. it was enough for everything to pour out.

"i'm tired, hoon." his arms tighten around you, burying his face to your hair, almost as if he's kissing it in comfort.

you're tired? is it because of that guy? should he beat him up? you wouldn't like it anyway, so he erase the thought. park sunghoon has never hated anyone more than that jerk right now. he curses that stupid guy who made you like this.

"i hate you park sunghoon."

"you don't mean that."

you don't.

"i really really hate you." you were probably the worst to utter such words to him. to your best friend, to sunghoon out of all people. but you can't stop. "you're so stupid, stupid."

it takes him back, he didn't expect for you to be mad at him. he's silent for a moment as he continues to hold you like you're going to disappear.

"how am i stupid, baby?" there he goes again with those stupid nicknames.

you refuse to look at him, burying your face to his nape. and when you don't answer he talks for you.

"do you hate me that much for you not to look at me?" you really hate park sunghoon.

he sighs at the lack of your response. he shakes his head before he turns his face closer to your ear, "what am i gonna do, baby? you hate me, but i like you so much."

what? what the fuck?

that makes you widen your eyes processing what he just said as you sit up straight and facing him. and it makes him laugh a little, he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. not when you're this adorably looking at him like you can't believe it.

"don't joke about things like that park sunghoon!"

wow, using his government name? "you don't believe me?" you don't answer. "why do you think i came to that awful restaurant wearing this shirt?" you knew it was new, you've never seen him wear it.

"because you want to fit it?" you answer.

"that too," he laughs, "and because you didn't eat lunch with me, you didn't walk home with me. i heard from sunoo, that you were out with someone and you didn't dress up because of me. you were on a date and it wasn't me. you were avoiding me, baby."

he looks at you and it hurts because both of you are a fucking idiot. all this time, sunghoon liked you.

park sunghoon likes you.

"how long?" and you can't help it, you have to know.

he thinks for a second, "hm.. since when you were on that swing? i thought you were pretty." he smiles so easily.

oh my god.

you buried your face once more, not really knowing what to do, because for the longest time you thought you were the only one feeling this way.

but sunghoon understands, he continues to talk, "jay thinks i'm obsessed with you. he's not wrong, you know? you don't have to say anything right now, i know you're having a har—"

you kissed him. park sunghoon is really an idiot. how can you not like him? how can anyone not even like him? he's so stupid. sunghoon's eyes widen a bit, but melts into your touch as quickly.

god, was this really happening? please don't ever wake him up if this is a dream.

you pulled away for a breather and he reached for another one causing you to block his lips with your hand.

feeling the blood in your cheeks, flustered as sunghoon kisses your palm instead. his hand coming up to yours to remove it.

"can i kiss you again?" you were going to die, "please?" you're sure of it.

"no!"

sunghoon laughs at that. you can't feel it, but his cheeks are really hurting now from smiling. maybe one day you'll let him kiss you more, but for now this is enough.

he has loved you almost all of his life.

𖹭 likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! i hope he is not too out of character :')

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Christopher Brown’s ‘A Natural History of Empty Lots’

On SEPTEMBER 24th, I'll be speaking IN PERSON at the BOSTON PUBLIC LIBRARY!

Christopher Brown is an accomplished post-cyberpunk sf writer, a tech lawyer with a sideline in public interest environmental law, the proud owner of one of the most striking homes I have ever seen, and an urban pastoralist who writes about wildlife in ways I've never seen and can't get enough of:

https://fieldnotes.christopherbrown.com/

All of these facets of Brown's identity come together today with the launch of A Natural History of Empty Lots: Field Notes from Urban Edgelands, Back Alleys and other Wild Places:

https://christopherbrown.com/a-natural-history-of-empty-lots/

This is a frustratingly hard to summarize book, because it requires a lot of backstory and explanation, and one of the things that makes this book so! fucking! great! is how skillfully Brown weaves all that stuff into his telling. Which makes me feel self-conscious as I try to summarize things, because there's no way I'll do this as well as he did, but whatever, here goes.

Brown is a transplant from rural Iowa to Austin, where he set out to start a family, practice tech law during the dotcom boom, and write science fiction, as part of a circle of writers loosely associated with cyberpunk icon @brucesterling. After both the economy and his marriage collapsed, Brown started his restless perambulations around Austin's abandoned places, sacrifice zones, the bones of failed housing starts and abandoned dot-crash office parks.

When he did, something changed in him. Slowly, his eyes learned to see things that they had just skipped over. Plants, animals, and spoor and carapaces and dens of all description, all around him, a secret world. These were not pockets of "wilderness" in the city, but they were pockets of wildness. Birds' nests woven with plastic fibers scavenged from nearby industrial dumpsters; trees taking root in half-submerged tires rolled into a creekbed, foxes and rodents playing out a real-life version of the classic ecosystem simulation exercise on the edge of an elevated highway that fills the same function as the edge of a woodland where predator and prey meet.

As Brown fell in love again – with the artist and architect Agustina Rodriguez – he conceived of a genuinely weird and amazing plan to build a house. A very weird house, in a very weird place. He bought a plot of wasteland that had once housed the head-end of an oil pipeline (connected to a nearby oil-storage facility that poisoned the people who lived near it, in an act of wanton environmental racism) and had been used as a construction-waste dump for years.

After securing an extremely unlikely loan, Brown remediated the plot, excavating the oil pipeline, then building the most striking home you have ever seen in the resulting trench. Brown is a pal of mine, and this is where I stay when I'm in Austin, and I can promise you, the pictures don't do it justice:

https://www.texasmonthly.com/style/christopher-brown-edgeland-house-austin/

Formally, A Natural History of Empty Lots is a memoir that explains all of this. But not really. Like I say, this is just the back story. What Natural History really is, is a series of loosely connected essays that explains how everything fits together: colonial conquest, Brown's failed marriage, his experience as a lawyer learning property law, what he learned by mobilizing that learning to help his neighbors defend the pockets of wildness that refuse to budge.

It's an erudite book, skipping back through millennia of history, sidewise through the ecology of Texas, all while somehow serving as a kind of spotter's guide to the wild things you can see in Austin – and maybe, in your town – if you know how to look. It's a book about how people change the land, and how the land changes people. It is filled with pastoral writing that summons Kim Stanley Robinson by way of Thoreau, and it sometimes frames its philosophical points the way a cyberpunk writer would – like Neal Stephenson writing a cyberpunk trilogy that is also the story of Leibniz and Newton fighting over credit for inventing calculus:

https://memex.craphound.com/2004/11/20/neal-stephensons-system-of-the-world-concludes-the-baroque-trilogy/

Brown is a stupendous post-cyberpunk writer, and also a post-cyberpunk person, which I've known for sure since I happened upon him one morning, thoughtfully mowing his roof with a scythe:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/46433979075/

You can get a sense of what that means in this lockdown-era joint presentation that Chris, Bruce Sterling and I did on "cyberpunk and post-cyberpunk":

https://archive.org/details/asl-cyberpunk

Brown is a spectacular novelist. His ecofascist civil war trilogy that opens with Tropic of Kansas got so much right about the politics of American demagoguery and was perfectly timed with the Trump presidency:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/07/11/tropic-of-kansas-making-america-great-again-considered-harmful/

The sequel, Rule of Capture, uses the device of courtroom drama in a way that comes uncomfortably close to the Orwell/Kafka mashup that the authorities have created to deal with environmental protesters:

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/08/12/rule-of-capture-inside-the-martial-law-tribunals-that-will-come-when-climate-deniers-become-climate-looters-and-start-rendering-environmentalists-for-offshore-torture/

And the final volume, Failed State, is one of the most complicated complicated utopias you could ask for. This is what people mean by "thrilling conclusion":

https://pluralistic.net/2020/08/12/failed-state/#chris-brown

As brilliant as Brown is in fiction mode, his nonfiction is unclassifiably, unforgettably brilliant. A Natural History of Empty Lots is the kind of book that challenges how you feel about the crossroads we're at, the place you live, and the place you want to be.

The paperback edition of The Lost Cause, my nationally bestselling, hopeful solarpunk novel is out this month!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/09/17/cyberpunk-pastoralism/#time-to-mow-the-roof

[writingforstraykids]

Letters Of Love - Chan🖤

Pairing: Chan x gn!Reader (poly!skz)

Word Count: 978

Summary: Your anniversary with your beloved boys makes you think of how to show them how much you love them best. Soon, you settle on sending them a message and picture in relation to one of your favorite days spent with them - starting with a sunset beach walk with Channie.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, poly!skz

A/N: Happy one year, guys🤭🥳🖤🖤

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

You sit comfortably on the oversized sofa in the living room, your legs tucked beneath you as a soft throw blanket drapes over your shoulders. The house is quiet except for the soft hum of the evening outside. The warm, ambient light from a lamp nearby casts a golden glow on your laptop screen as you scroll through your photo library, smiling at the memories that flash before your eyes.

The idea had come to you a few days ago, sparked by a simple desire to celebrate the bond you share with each of the boys. With your anniversary around the corner, you wanted to do something meaningful—not grand or flashy, but something that speaks to the heart of what they all mean to you. So, you decided to put together a collection of messages, each paired with a favorite photo of yours. One for each of them.

It’s not just about celebrating the years spent together, but a way to show them how much every single moment counts—how deeply woven into your life they’ve become. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of life, schedules, and everything in between, but when you sit down and look back at these snapshots, the memories are filled with so much warmth that it almost makes you tear up.

Each picture carries its own story, a unique reminder of shared smiles, whispered conversations, and unexpected adventures. It feels like the perfect way to say, “I remember. I see you. And I treasure these moments more than words can say.”

Choosing where to start wasn’t easy, but in the end, you settled on Chan. Leader. Rock. One of your favorite people. The one who somehow always knows exactly how to make you feel heard and seen. Your eyes linger on one particular image that makes your heart flutter—a photograph of a breathtaking sunset on a secluded beach.

The sky is painted with vivid hues of orange, pink, and deep purple, casting a magical light across the gentle waves lapping at the shore. In the foreground, Chan is beside you, his broad smile lighting up the scene as much as the setting sun. He’s looking at the camera, but his body is slightly angled toward you, as if caught in a moment of joy, mid-laughter. His tousled hair frames his face, the salty breeze lifting it slightly, and his eyes crinkle warmly, filled with a playful energy and contentment. The two of you are barefoot, shoes forgotten somewhere in the sand, and you’re holding hands, your arm swinging lightly as if you’d just been spinning around together, giddy from the beauty of the evening and each other's presence.

You can almost hear the sound of his voice from that day—the way he kept pointing out how the colors of the sky matched your favorite shade of coral or how he’d sneakily race you to the water’s edge just to let the waves catch you by surprise. It was one of those spontaneous days, a perfect pocket of time when everything aligned, and all that mattered was the way the world seemed to slow down around the two of you.

The day had started unassumingly, with a casual suggestion from Chan to go for a drive after a long day of work. There had been no real destination in mind until you noticed the telltale sparkle of sunlight reflecting off the distant waves. Without a second thought, he turned the car toward the coast. When you arrived, the beach was nearly empty—just you, him, and the endless expanse of sand and sea. As the sun began its slow descent, painting the sky with the most brilliant shades, you both kicked off your shoes and wandered along the shoreline. You talked about everything and nothing—dreams, music, life, and silly inside jokes that had the two of you bursting into laughter.

As the colors deepened and the first stars peeked through, he pulled you close, his arm wrapping around your shoulders, and for a moment, it felt like the rest of the world didn’t exist. Just you, him, and the rhythm of the waves. It was then that he set up the camera timer, capturing that perfect image, your smiles forever frozen against the backdrop of the sun-kissed sky.

The smile on your lips softens as you relive the memory, fingers hovering over the keyboard. You take a deep breath and begin to type out a message for Chan, the words flowing easily from your heart. He’s someone who would understand the significance of this little project of yours—your way of saying, “I’m grateful. For you, for us, for all the tiny pieces that have come together to build this beautiful mosaic of memories.”

Message to Channie Baby🖤:

Hey Channie,

I came across this picture today, and it made me think of one of my favorite memories with you. Remember that sunset beach stroll? The way you just decided to take us there on a whim? I think that’s one of the things I love most about you—the way you turn ordinary moments into something unforgettable.

That evening, I remember feeling like everything was just… right. The world seemed quieter, softer, and it was like we had all the time in the world just to be ourselves. I know we’ve had so many amazing experiences together, but something about that day stands out to me. Maybe it’s because it felt so simple, just us, the ocean, and the sky. But it’s one of those moments that I’ll always cherish.

Thank you for always making life brighter, for your laughter and for the way you see beauty in everything. I’m so grateful to have you by my side—not just during sunsets, but every single day.

Happy anniversary, Channie. Here’s to many more sunsets together.

Love you, always.

Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

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[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

For full headcanons: What do you think a lazy day with the M6 would look like? Say that somehow MC and their love interest have a free day all to themselves to just relax.

The Arcana HCs: Lazy Days with M6

Julian

He's been looking forward to this. Did he tell you that he would try to sleep in? Maybe. Does he succeed? Unfortunately not

However, not needing to head straight out the door to the clinic means that you get to sleep in and wake up to the sight of your relaxed doctor leisurely sipping some coffee in bed next to you

As much as Julian savors the delights of domestic life, he's quick to get a little stir crazy. How about an outing together?

For a dramatically roguish nerd like him, an "outing" could mean getting dragged to a leech convention, watching a play, doing something legally not-so-recommended, or visiting a library

Either way, since the point of the day is to be lazy, he's more likely to want to head home come evening rather than stay out

Does he enjoy social time? Sure, but even more than that, he cherishes you. He can meet you for dinner at the tavern any day, but he doesn't get every evening completely free like this

Dinner is peaceful, intimate, and slower than usual because he insists on eating by candlelight which means not being able to see your plate very well

The way his eyes feast on you instead of the meal makes up for it

Asra

Nobody can match this magician when it comes to lazy days

They. Are. Sleeping. In. They aren't even going to think about getting up until the sun is high enough to fill the room with golden light and the street outside your window is bustling with activity

Even then, the tranquility stays. There's no part of the day when the pace picks up. He'll move with you slowly from the bed to the kitchen with a sleepy smile, prioritizing snuggles over cooking

And that's how the day goes - lazing from the cushions to the kitchen for more tea and snacks, trading silly stories and engaging in the occasional tickle/pillow fight between books

Asra will start at least one experimental craft, only to put it down halfway finished because focusing on you is way more enjoyable

Right around sunset, they'll need a change of scenery. That will most likely take the form of taking you by the hand and pulling you into their oasis for some prolonged snuggles and whimsy time

However, being predictably unpredictable, there is the 25% chance that he'll decide he doesn't want to keep a lazy pace all day after all, and pull you out into the darkening streets for an adventure

Either way, it ends back in bed, gazing out the window at the stars

Nadia

Oh, she needs this and she's been planning for it for weeks

Everything is set up ahead of time. All pressing matters have been dealt with, and she's delegated responsibilities so that unless the world starts to end, someone else will have to handle it

She is going to indulge in every relaxing moment she's been putting off and she's going to do it without lifting a finger and you are going to join her for every blissful moment

She rarely has time to sleep in and hold you, so she is taking her fill

Breakfast appears at the door to her chambers when she rings her bell, and after sitting you in her lap and taking turns feeding each other, she's drawing you into her private bath all set up for spa day

With her mind carefully blocked off of work, she'll turn her attentions to you. How have you been doing? What's been on your mind? Tell her something about you she hasn't heard yet ~

Since you can't spend all day in the spa, she does take a couple hours in the afternoon to herself in her tower. Your company is delightful and refreshing, but even she needs a moment alone

Dinner happens on the veranda, just the two of you in a nook hidden from view, lounging on cushions and savoring a slow night

Muriel

Lazy days ... kind of happen whenever one of you needs them to happen. Living self-sustainably in the woods has its perks

At the same time, there's some daily duties that just can't be skipped - feeding the chickens, drawing water, etc

Lazy days are what happens when one of you looks at the other of you and you both know you need a break. A day without all the added routine tasks, a day to just breathe for a little bit

Lazy days start by spending the day before getting ready to rest

Waking up is one quick trip to throw a bucket of feed at the chickens before darting back inside to warm up next to the veritable furnace that Muriel becomes under a blanket

Breakfast happens late, sitting by the fire instead of at the table, slicing the loaf of bread between you as you want more and toasting it idly while Inanna steals the crumbs

If it's a chilly, rainy day, you spend it adding logs to the fire from the pile you built up yesterday and curling up with each other under the furs. On sunny days, you might lie down outside

Maybe you talk, maybe you sleep, maybe you work on a craft - but it passes in peace and quiet and grounded, steadfast love

Portia

Does Portia need a lazy day? YES. Is Portia good at lazy days? Not. At. All.

Sometimes existing in Portia's presence means idly wondering if she subconsciously found the secret to perpetual motion and she's very busy trying not to forget it. She just never stops going!

Lazy days happen when you and the Countess gang up and make sure she has 24 hours of a clear schedule when she's on the verge of burning out and is in desperate need of a reset

The day starts by dragging her back into bed and telling her she's not allowed to make breakfast until she's slept as long as possible

Breakfast itself consists of trying to help her snap out of "work work work must get the next task done" mode while you brew some tea. The most effective way to do so is to put Pepi in her lap

After that, the day is delightful. Spending the rest of the morning and early afternoon lying on a picnic blanket in the garden, reading books and eating snacks and watching Pepi chase butterflies

The evening always involves visiting Mazelinka for family time. (It's also the best way to make sure Portia doesn't have to cook)

And nighttime - nighttime is for fireflies and pillow forts and kisses

Lucio

Lucio likes suggesting lazy days every day

Which means that, when the time does come to have one, the first word out of his mouth is "FINALLY."

He's been ready to take a slow day for weeks!! He needs this!!

Sleeping in is essential. If you try to get him out of bed before noon when there isn't a reason to he will start a riot

Went out the night before and maxed out his budget buying all the pastries on sale at the end of the day. Breakfast consists of him wolfing down sugary flaky dough at 1 PM, without leaving bed

He got them for you too - which is how you're presented with the sight of him beaming, shirtless, sitting in a ray of afternoon light with the sheets rumpled around him as he holds out a bite for you

The sugar high is enough to make him antsy. Yes, this is a lazy day, but lazy days are supposed to be enjoyable, and is a day even enjoyable if you haven't gone out to enjoy yourself?

Luxuriates in taking twice as much time to do his eyeliner

Saunters around the square of wherever you're visiting with your hand in his, pointedly ignoring the board of job requests

Stays up super late to savor every last moment of the day off

[pockyteau]

JUST LIKE ICARUS

✩ a chishiya x reader where the sun is a lot closer to him than he realised.

"Do you know the story of Icarus?"

The question catches Chishiya off guard. He turns to you inquisitively, but you are already looking elsewhere; you stretch your arms out behind your head lazily, leaning back against the side of your bed. The sunlight that filled the room was enough to make one drowsy with all its warmth, little specks of light scuttling across the ground like golden ants.

It's always weirdly sunny, when you're around.

"I'm familiar with it, yes." Chishiya says mildly. He briefly wonders whether he should've admitted to it - while it was true he had read the book, it had been completely unintentional. He'd picked up an old paperback of the book in a library once, under the impression that the gold lettering on the cover meant the book held a multitude of literary treasures. On that day, Chishiya learnt two things: that Icarus was an idiot, and that he should never trust the gold lettering on books.

He had come to dislike the story since.

"Really? You know it?" You look at him with wide eyes, your earlier drowsiness thrown off. The expression you are making is glowing with excitement, and he feels as if he should de-escalate the situation before you get any ideas. 

"I didn't like it much," he warns. Much to Chishiya's distaste, he had come to know that you were a lover of storybooks, of which he never had much patience for. You blink, falling back against your bed with an audible thump. 

"But why not?" You ask, tilting your head to the side. From your lips the question sounds incredulous; it's almost as if you had, in fact, greatly enjoyed the story of Icarus.

Chishiya frowns. He had initially expected you to dislike it too, since the story ended in Icarus' death and you were the greatest lover of happy endings he'd ever met. After tuning many of them out, he had come to know that your personal favourite tales were the ones about love - sappy ones of sweetness and longing that spanned over many lifetimes. He didn't care much for them either, though they wouldn't have bothered him nearly as much if you didn't insist on telling him every single one. So, with that in mind, what reason could you have for liking this tale? 

"Icarus dug his own grave," Chishiya shrugs. "If he'd just been careful, he would've lived. He should've listened to the advice he was given."

You snort. "That's why you don't like it? You and Icarus are one in the same, then," you point out. "You never listen either."

It appears you've noticed him tuning you out. 

"Well," Chishiya muses, "I can afford not to." He turns his head to shoot you a lazy grin. "The same cannot be said for Icarus."

You press your lips together. "Wow, you are awful," you comment, though Chishiya can tell by the way your shoulders shake gently that you are trying not to laugh. Your attempt to stifle your laughter ends up in vain when your voice disappears towards the end of your statement, dipping your head forward to conceal the grin adorning your face. 

Chishiya finds he is smiling before he can stop himself - it's easy to make you laugh. He knows that if you lifted your head, he would see the crinkles under your eyes.

He allows you a moment to compose yourself before asking a question of his own. "But why do you like it?" he says, careful to keep the curiosity out of his voice. You raise your head when he speaks, traces of laughter still painting your lips. "The Icarus story, I mean. Since he dies in the end, I would've thought you'd hate it."

The question seems to surprise you. You frown, your brows drawing together. "Well, I wouldn't say that I like it, exactly," you say thoughtfully. "But it does have its charm. Icarus was happy for a little while." You muse. "Maybe being careless was worth it for him." 

"That's ridiculous," Chishiya snorts. Icarus was happy for no less than what, five seconds? No form of death could be worth that. Now he doesn't know why he asked in the first place, because of course you would supply him with an answer like that. "He still died."

"Hey, what've you got against Icarus?" You tease, arms folded as you lean back against the side of your bed. "To be honest, I think his story is a little sad. He was just glad to be in the sun."

"Mm," Chishiya makes a noncommittal noise in response, knowing that if he were to give a full answer it would probably be rather scathing. You smile at this, giving him a little nudge. 

"Okay, not a fan of Icarus," you say. Your voice is soft, tinted with amusement. Huh. Chishiya feels a small ache hatch in the centre of his chest - it pricked him in a strange way to see your smile as you spoke. You carry on, unaware of the sudden pain in his chest, that same smile still on your face. "Got it. Ah! Do you know Psyche and Eros? You have to have heard of them! Their love story is unrivaled." 

Chishiya is vaguely aware of how he shakes his head, which causes you to clutch at your chest in mock horror. You then launch into your rendition of Psyche and Eros' romance, eyes shining. It seemed that unlike Icarus, Psyche and Eros got their happy ever after; their love was free to last forever, unbound by the constraints of mortal life once Psyche was immortalised. 

Of course, this was the ringer for you -  a love that lasted forever. Chishiya doesn't believe in forever; he knows everything must eventually come to an end. Perhaps that was where the two of you differed the most; you firmly believed in forever, simply because you insisted that things such as love could transcend all boundaries, resist the tests of time. 

He supposes this should only be expected from someone who pitied Icarus, for whom Chishiya has no sympathy for. Despite how careless he may seem to you, him and the boy with the wax wings are nothing alike, because Chishiya is careful. He takes care not to let his mind wander when he sets his gaze on the sparkle in your eyes, the curve of your lips. He takes care not to let the sunlit vision of you sink too deep beneath the surface of his mind. Chishiya is careful, always careful. He knows that the repercussions of getting comfortable with you could cost him everything.

Even without you telling him, he knows the story of Icarus, who flew too close to the sun. 

-

Today you are telling him about something new - probably another love story, judging by the delight in your voice. 

It's sunny again. Chishiya is sitting with his back against the wall of your room, basking in the golden sunlight that streams through your window. The atmosphere is peaceful, calm. The way Chishiya likes it. 

He leans his head forward slightly to stretch the stiffness out of it; he had long since stopped listening to you, and was now trying to figure out how to a rig a flamethrower. And every other step to making a flamethrower, really. It would be a lot easier to dance that risky line between life and death with one, and Chishiya intends to use it as his ticket out of this poolside hotel. He dreams of somewhere he doesn't have to attend meetings on the whim of an obnoxious man in sunglasses.

But where would he get the materials? If he were to ask someone like Ann for spare flamethrowing parts, he would most likely be bombarded with questions. Ann was terrifying in her own right, with her ability to speak so fast. It's a dilemma, certainly. Perhaps he could ask the handyman, Tatta, instead.

He doesn't seem like the type to ask what Chishiya would use them for, and Chishiya believes that is a quality more people should have. 

"Chishiya?"

He lifts his head at your mention of his name. "Hm?"

You grin. Chishiya feels that little ache between his ribs again, filling in the empty space between his heart and his bones. It seems to be spreading, which he tries not to find concerning. 

It's probably nothing. 

"You weren't listening again, were you?" you chide, but you don't seem to mind. The teasing look on your face makes that plain enough.  

Chishiya sees no need to lie. "I was not."

"Of course not," you sigh dramatically, flopping down to sit next to him. He smirks at you, knowing that you would roll your eyes in response. He knows you, predicting the way your head tilts away from him slightly, covering a quiet laugh. "Actually, I don't know why I'm surprised. Do you even listen to all those executive meetings you go to?"  

Chishiya grins, which means the obvious answer is no - it's a close call between who he respects less, the Hatter or the mournful looking worm he'd spotted on his way back from a game. In fact, he might've even lent the worm an ear if it had deigned to speak - it probably had more worthwhile things to say than the Beach's number one.   

You seem to be able to follow his train of thought. "I guess not," you say, a small laugh escaping your lips. 

He finds himself thinking that the sound of it is rather nice.

Without warning you lean in closer to Chishiya and for a moment his mind goes blank, but all you do is reach out a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. "Here," your fingers brush lightly against the side of his face as you do so, the warmth of your skin lingering on his jaw even though the touch was only a brief one. "Now you'll be able to hear me better, hm?"

Chishiya snorts. His eyes flick over to you, that smile he wished wouldn't affect him so much dancing on your lips. Perhaps he should untuck the strand of hair from behind his ear again, just to annoy you. "There's a difference between wanting to listen and being able to listen."

"Hey-" you open your mouth to protest, but close it just as quickly. Chishiya is all but ready to give you a smug look, anticipating the way you would groan and pretend not to laugh - but then you lean in even closer, inspecting his face with curious eyes. He raises his brows in question. He doesn't like how your eyes have widened, mystified, as they rest just below his own eye level.

"What is it?" He frowns.

"You have a beauty mark!" You say, a delighted smile spreading across your lips. "I never noticed! Why didn't you tell me?"

Chishiya's brow furrows. He has to stifle the sudden urge to reach up and cover the little mark below his left eye. Why would he tell you? Perhaps he had fallen into the fool's trap of assuming you had working eyes, since the mark was, you know, on his face. "It must have slipped my mind," he says dryly. 

Unfortunately, you take no notice of his wry tone. "It's so cute!" you exclaim. You look dangerously close to clapping your hands in joy, and you are still much too close to Chishiya. He feels the warmth on his skin beginning to burn as you reach out a finger to lightly tap the mark under his eye. "Oh! that reminds me - did I ever tell you the story? Beauty marks are where you were kissed the most in your past life."

Chishiya brushes your hand away from his face. "I can't say I've heard that one before," he says, keeping his tone even. He hopes it will be enough to stop the liquid gold in his chest from spreading.

"I thought as much," you hum, reaching out to poke the mark under his eye again, grinning when he swats you away. "Hey, that means you were kissed there a lot. Isn't that so sweet? You must have been really loved in your past life."

Chishiya's frown deepens. Here is your precious everlasting love again. 

It's no secret that he doesn't believe in things like this; he knew better than most that human hearts were feeble things, easily stopped. As the vessel of love, didn't that show how not even the greatest love could last longer than the average human lifespan? 

"Is that so." He says flatly. The mark below his eye was merely a fixation of his face, nothing more. 

Your eyes dart over his unsmiling expression, the corners of your lips still turned up. "It's okay, I know you don't believe in things like that," you say mildly, eyes sparkling. Chishiya's gaze flickers; he didn't realise you had become so apt at predicting his thoughts. 

"You're right. I don't."

You merely hum again in response before falling silent, as if in thought. In the hush Chishiya allows his gaze to wander to you momentarily; it comes to rest on the pensive crease in your forehead, angling lower to where golden shapes are being cast over your face by the sunlight coming through the window. 

He's not sure if he can remember a time where you haven't been touched by light. 

"Ah!" You do clap your hands now, and Chishiya eyes you in apprehension. That can't mean anything good. "Alright. Why don't we test something out?" 

"Test?" Chishiya squints at you for a moment to accentuate his reluctance. "And what would that be?" 

"Well...why don't we give you a new beauty mark?" You smile. "You don't believe me, so I'll prove you wrong." 

Chishiya has to bite back his immediate scorn. What purpose would that serve? It's not as if you would be able to check if your theory worked, anyway. Even if you were right, neither of you would know what had conspired in this room, dappled in sunlight, in your next life.

He's already forming the word "no" in his throat, well aware that he shouldn't indulge you - but there are little crinkles under your eyes, the look of pure joy you usually wear when telling him your precious stories. Why were you so happy about his beauty mark, he wonders, and why hasn't the ache stopped by now? He should shut you down now, before this gets out of hand.

It is with these resolute thoughts that for some unfathomable, fanatical reason, Chishiya opens his mouth to find the words "do whatever you want," escaping off the tip of his tongue.

Just like that, the precarious nature he had built up around you is dealt its first blow when your face lights up with a pleasant surprise. 

"Really?" you say, so tentatively that the pull in his chest becomes so strong it almost hurts. Chishiya has to pull himself together to shrug in indifference. But it's fine. This is but a small allowance, one he will only let slide once. 

He still has to be careful. 

You delicately put both hands on either side of the blonde's face, turning it this way and that as if inspecting it. He looks at you, unimpressed, as you gently poke his right cheek, designating it as the spot for his next beauty mark. "Is here okay?"

Chishiya shrugs again with his face still in your hands, your hold on him causing a slight difficulty for him to do so properly. "It's your test, isn't it?"

"Okayy, here it is, then."

You lean in and place a gentle kiss on his cheek, then another, and another. The touch of your lips is sweet and light - Chishiya's soft chuckle is audible when you kiss him a fourth time, and he loses count of the ones that follow after you can't seem to help but kiss him once on the lips. 

-

Chishiya knows he shouldn't. He is aware that the wax wings fixed to his back are loosening by the day. 

But no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, he is compelled to push open the door to your room in his free time, the daylight hours before he leaves for a game. Where he is enveloped by golden sunlight the second he steps in, the way your face brightens like heaven is on earth there with him etching itself into the very corners of his mind. He listens silently to your stories, the lull of your voice. You've begun to kiss him on his right cheek regularly, like a habit, and he can't bring himself to stop you. 

He does his best to ignore the thought that perhaps he doesn't even want to stop you.

Chishiya knows that this is temporary. He has to be careful, make sure he doesn't forget. That no matter how many times you kiss him, he cannot stay. He is already flying much to close to the sun - the sudden warmth that consumes him as he does so is so immense that it scares him. Because every time you kiss him like that, he wonders what it would be like to sit there and listen to you tell stories forever.

And Chishiya knows forever doesn't exist. 

-

Chishiya declines citizenship in the Borderlands.

Even after playing Kuzuryuu, he had honestly considered staying. No matter where he was, forever still would not exist; he would eventually die in either world. It would be interesting to see what the future held for him here, in any case. Perhaps he could run the Diamond games - there's no question of him being able to take the crown of the King of Diamonds with his intellect. And after all, if he stayed, he wouldn't have to return to the tedious problems of the real world.

But in the end, he finds that something inside him has changed.

Maybe it's because he's slowly bleeding out, which probably doesn't bode well for him. Maybe it's because he's slumped against a car and it's less than comfortable. Maybe Kuzuryuu got through to him after all.

But maybe it's also how you find him there, hidden behind the car, worry painting your usually so sunny face as you rush over to kneel beside him.

"Chishiya?" you whisper urgently. "Are you okay?" 

He feels a gentle weight on his shoulder where you hand has immediately come to rest, like it's the most natural thing in the world. You don't even think twice about it; it surprises Chishiya that such a simple movement could feel so comforting, safe. He's gotten used to your touch, no matter how hard he'd tried not to. You're checking his wounds, eyes widening when you realise his hoodie is soaked in blood. "What happened to you? Oh my god, have you been shot? How bad is it?"

Chishiya manages a weak chuckle, even as you begin desperately searching for the bullet wound. You're worried, really worried, whispering something about putting pressure on the wound. Should he tell you he's been shot more than once? 

His eyes roam over your face, cast in deep shadow by the darkening sky. Where are the crinkles in your eyes? The look of unobtainable joy that never left your face? It's so strange - ridiculous, even - that all he can think of is that stupid story you'd told him so long ago, the one about the beauty marks. He aches to see you smile again, like you did then, and the all-consuming feeling almost outweighs the blood seeping from his wounds.

"Are you laughing?" you say tearfully. Another laugh forces itself out of Chishiya's chest even as he winces slightly, although whether he laughs out of amusement or exasperation he can't really tell. You give him an incredulous stare, eyes shining with perspiration, before you finally crack a small smile of your own.

That's all it takes for the dam to break and you exhale in relief, the panic leaving your body in the form of a heavy breath. Your whole body relaxes and your hand slips a bit on his shoulder as you slump down beside him. "Chishiya," you breathe his name like it's the only thing keeping you alive, burying your face in your hands. "I was so worried about you." 

Chishiya's broken laughter subsides into a grin. He leans back against the car, closing his eyes for a moment, although his look of amusement still lingers over his features. It's almost ironic - you seem more concerned about his own life than he is. And while Chishiya's concern usually reaches the brilliant heights of almost zero, he suddenly thinks that surviving his multiple bullet wounds wouldn't be so bad. 

"Why?" he says, opening his eyes slightly to peer at you through half-lids. "If I died, we could test out your beauty mark theory."

You groan, but the sound is half-laugh-half-exasperation. "I can't believe you." Your head falls forward to rest on his shoulder, the fabric of his hoodie muffling your voice. You sound weak, as if you had spent some time calling out his name, trying to find him. He exhales a soft laugh. it was always your voice that gave you away, but now Chishiya only finds it endearing rather than a weakness. Despite the situation he finds himself relaxing. 

He could get used to this. 

And that's when it hits him. 

That Chishiya has already become Icarus, the fool. 

He breathes out. No, he's been a fool from the very start. He wants your head on his shoulder, just like it is now. He wants the warmth of your touch. He wants forever, full of your dancing eyes and your buoyant smile. He wants too much, has flown right against the sun so that his wax wings have melted away and he's plummeted into the ocean. Look at where being careful had gotten him; everything he's ever believed to be true is lost in the deep water. 

But then you raise your head to graze a kiss on his right cheek between murmurs, your own cheeks slightly wet with tears, and Chishiya finds he doesn't care. He's willing to indulge in the idea of forever, no matter how unlikely it might be that it actually exists. He'll sink deeper into the ocean as long as you're holding on to him.

Fireworks explode around the two of you, marking the end of the world he'd met you in, and Chishiya makes his choice.

"I don't want citizenship," he says, and his eyes slide over to you as the words leave his mouth. He can admit, if only to himself, that he's looking forward to your reaction. "I think."

Your astonished face is illuminated in the light before it splits into that beaming smile. 

"I thought you would stay," you whisper, but you're smiling so hard even as glittering tears are sliding down your cheeks again that Chishiya can't help but laugh once more. You reach for his hand and clasp it tightly, intertwining your fingers and his in a way that can only be described as tender and sweet, and he knows he's made the right choice. 

"Let's go home," you say, eyes shining, and Chishiya is falling, falling. He wants to go back and live in a world with you, where a love that outlasts even the two of your beating hearts is more likely to be possible. Because even though he doesn't believe in forever, you do.

And Chishiya has never wanted so badly, with all of the heart he thought he didn't have, for it to be true. 

-

Chishiya couldn't shake the feeling that something was strange.

He knew exactly where he was before he even fully woke up - the beep of the heart monitor, the sharp scent of sterilisation, the coolness of the pillow behind his head. From all the time he'd spent in residency, the atmosphere of the hospital was unmistakable. 

He opens his eyes slowly to ease his transition into the waking world. His body aches with injury, and there is a stinging pain in his abdomen. The thoughts in his head are sluggish, bleary. He's still gaining his bearings, trying to figure out what happened. 

A sudden jolt of urgency shoots through him and he almost bolts upright; he is met with the resistance of the tightly tucked in hospital bedsheets, and has to slowly push himself up instead. He looks around, scanning the other beds in the room. There is a strange new ache blooming rapidly in his chest, but he doesn't think it's related to his injuries. Where is...

He blinks. Where is what? 

He frowns, freeing one of his arms from the linen sheets to rub his forehead. He tries to summon the thought up again, but it's like grasping at sand. Where is...? He attempts to close his fist over the question, but it slips through his fingers like the grains of an hourglass. What was he so desperate to find just now?

He just can't seem to recall. 

The curtain around his bed is drawn with the slight scrape of metal, revealing a nurse with a clipboard. Chishiya is momentarily distracted from his thoughts when the nurse looks surprised to see him awake, her mouth forming a little 'o' of astonishment.

"Oh! you're awake," her expression quickly eases into a professional smile. Chishiya dips his head slightly in acknowledgement, but he is still unsettled. It's the strangest thing. It feels he's missing something, but he just can't figure out what.

The nurse begins to check his vitals, scribbling something down on a clipboard with a ballpoint pen. To Chishiya's newly awoken mind, the scratch of pen against paper is louder than it should be. As she writes she tells Chishiya what happened - the tragedy of the meteorite, how he was one of many victims of the crash. 

"Your heart stopped for a full minute," she says, "you went into cardiac arrest. The same thing actually happened to a lot of the other patients here who were injured by the meteorite crash..."

Chishiya stops listening there. The nurse continues to talk, but his mind is already is elsewhere. His heart stopped for a full minute. He wonders, briefly, why it even bothered starting back up again. Perhaps he had some underlying will to live that even he didn't know about. 

Human hearts were strange things. 

It turns out that Chishiya has to stay at the hospital for a while before he can be discharged. He's familiar with the procedures - although his injuries aren't as severe as the man in the bed next to him, who is bandaged from head to toe, it'll still take a while before he makes a full recovery. Though Chishiya isn't too happy about this, he supposes there's nothing much he can do about it. And while the man stationed beside him is rather boisterous at times he does talk to Chishiya on the occasion, and it's not too irritating. In fact, he thinks they might even be a little bit alike in some ways.   

But even as his injuries slowly heal, the ache he'd woken up with still lingers. It's such a strange, implacable feeling. Something inside him yearns for a specific kind warmth, the gold of sunlight that filters through windows. The hospital wards are too silent, too dull. Since when did he begin to long for company? But it's not even that - the room he's been staying in is full of people, yet he still feels as if someone is missing from his side. It's endlessly frustrating. 

If his heart was going to torture him like this for surviving, maybe it shouldn't have yanked him back from cardiac arrest after all.

Chishiya's hospital days blur together with the utter sameness of them all. He goes through the motions, the scans, the checkups, all without a second thought. 

Until, that is, he catches a proper glimpse of his reflection in the chipped bathroom mirror. 

He stops in his tracks, leaning in closer to check whether it was just a speck of dust on the mirror, but no - it's really there. He frowns. That's weird. 

He has a new beauty mark.

Has it always been there? There had always been one, just below his left eye. He had never paid it any heed. It was simply there, an affixation of his face. But he finds that there is now another mark, sitting on his right cheek. If it had been there all his life, he certainly didn't remember it. How had he never noticed it before?

He raises a hand to brush the new mark in confusion, his fingertips grazing the skin. As he does this, he recalls something odd - in the very back of his mind, it's almost as if he can feel the gentle press of someone's lips against his cheek. 

-

Chishiya is finally going to be discharged from the hospital today.

He will not miss this place. In fact, his parting from the bed he'd known for the last month or so was joyful, to say the least. The ache he had woken up with still hasn't disappeared, but maybe the unsettling feeling that he'd forgotten something would fade once he left.

The sooner, the better.

He is just making his way to reception, having bid an amused farewell to the boisterous man in the bed beside him. Unlike the others in his room, neither of them had had any visitors, so he supposed the least he could do was be civil to the guy.

For once, there is silence in the hospital's white-walled corridors; visiting hours had not yet begun, and while Chishiya had grown to find complete silence somewhat unnerving he welcomes the change. There are no families weeping in the grey couches, no nervous chatter as they waited to be given updates on their loved ones' condition. There is even an abundance of sunlight, drifting in through the windows. It's peaceful, calm. The way Chishiya likes it.

Except when the receptionist's desk is finally in sight he finds someone else is already there, talking to the receptionist. By the looks of it, it's another patient - probably another crash victim, like him. Chishiya slows down, not particularly wanting to wait around for the conversation to finish. He stuffs his hands into his pockets, turning to look at the grey visitor's couches and then back at the receptionist. The patient is filling out forms now, blue ballpoint pen in hand. He spots the receptionist holding a rather thick stack of papers in her hand and frowns.

This may take a while.

Chishiya resigns himself to the grey couches, sinking into the soft fabric of the furniture. At least there's plenty of sunlight, streaming in through the rectangular glass pane overhead. He shoots another glance over at the counter, where the receptionist's stack of paper has diminished by about two sheets. He wonders if he would be chased if he just walked out of the hospital without signing the discharge documents.

With a sigh he leans back into the couch, turning his head to the side. With a note of surprise, he realises that there is a book lying open-faced a few inches away from him - judging by how it's been left open, someone must have left it there in the middle of reading it. With nothing else to do he lets curiosity take over, reaching over to pick the book up by its spine.

The book is a thin copy of an old story, battered and clearly well-read. He frowns slightly when he reads the title, bringing it closer to him to make out the words - gold lettering, the font of deceit. It's the story of Icarus; who wanted too much, giddy upon his taste of the heavens, and paid the price for it. Chishiya had always held contempt for that particular tale. If the fool had just been a little more careful, perhaps he would've lived.

"Oh! You know the story of Icarus?"

The question catches Chishiya off guard. He looks up from the book to see someone standing in front of him, smiling. It's that patient, the one who had been talking to the receptionist, silhouette dappled golden in the sunlight trickling into the room. That must mean the receptionist's desk is free now - but for some reason, he can't seem to tear his eyes away from the patient's expression; sparkling eyes, lips curved sweetly. Those bright eyes study him as he feels a familiar pull in his chest, the ache growing stronger by the second. And then, he hears the soft words:

"You have lovely beauty marks."

And it's so strange, because suddenly he feels a tug at the back of his mind. He feels as if he's heard something like that before, in another room dappled in sunlight. Where he felt warmer, safer than anywhere he had ever known.

Chishiya feels the smile come to his lips before he can stop himself. Perhaps his admin papers could wait a little longer. "Is that so."

[buckysgrace]

2. Too Well

Broken Hearts Club Masterlist

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

You try to come to a decision. Meanwhile Steve makes a move.

Your grandparents house was old, a very ancient farmhouse that had been built in the early twenties. It had been built by one of your great grandfathers, at least that’s what you had been told. There were three bedrooms, a newly constructed bathroom and a basement that you avoided at all costs. You blamed Steve for that.

When you were young and his parents left for one of their conferences he stayed over, back when you were still able to share a room without it being weird. He swore that your house was haunted, even more importantly that your basement was. It seemed as if it lived, like it breathed and moved on its own.

You knew now that it wasn’t true of course. It was the old furnace, the barely there foundations and floorboards that creaked and groaned because of how they were aging. The only thing that was haunted in the house was your bittersweet memories of daring each other to race down to the bottom of the stairs and back up, of listening to your gran telling you both the story of the lady and the big toe and him complaining that you had far too many stuffed animals on your bed. Your house was stained with his memory.

You lazily swung back and forth on the makeshift swing your grandpa had made some years ago, watching the way your shoe dragged against the dirt. You’d forgotten your walkman in the house but had been too lazy to retrieve it. Normally you’d come out to daydream, but not today. You were all twisted and turned over what Patty had said, over how she still continued to ignore you.

A date with Steve. You’d really agreed to it. Tonight. You had no idea what you were going to do. You meant it when you said you didn’t like him like that. Sure, he was plenty attractive and he was funny and charismatic; but you couldn’t erase those childhood memories of him. It felt wrong to think of him in a romantic manner. Even more wrong to think about crushing his heart when you knew how sensitive he really was.

Then again you were bitter. You spent much of freshman year alone, hiding out in the library during lunch and sitting in the back of the classroom because you had no one. Steve had ditched you; promised you that the first Monday morning you’d meet at the staircase and survive the year together but that never came.

Tommy and Carol were at most acquaintances to you. Possibly friends if you stretched the definition by a lot. You didn’t care about losing them, but Steve followed right in their footsteps. Led the way in fact. And that was that.

Patty slipped in not long after, sheltering you like a wounded animal and molding you to her liking. You knew she could be terrible at times but she was still your friend, she was still the one that actually saw potential in you. It was frustrating.

“I thought you’d be out here.” You jumped at the sudden voice, nearly falling forward and toppling onto the hard dirt. You straightened yourself up, gripping the tight rope as you took in the sheepish grin on Steve’s lips.

He was in a pair of jeans, despite the hot heat as he walked towards you. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets, a strong tension in his shoulders as he glanced back and forth from you and the ground. Almost like he was nervous.

“What are you doing here?” You asked as you tilted your head, raising your eyebrows as he came to a halt in front of you. You held our legs out lazily, watching as he rested the tips of his shoes against your own.

“I’m not allowed to visit?” He asked as he raised his eyebrows before he gestured over his shoulder, “Because your grandma seemed very happy.” He said with a laugh, not surprising you at all. She did adore him.

“Gran loves strays.” You pointed out, feeling like you didn’t need to gesture at yourself to make a point. He nodded his head as he thought about it, glancing around at the big trees that surrounded the two of you.

“Yeah, well,” He paused for a moment, “I already knew that.” He replied in agreement. A soft silence settled between the two of you as a gentle breeze suddenly struck, relieving you from the heat for just a moment.

“You don’t have any cool kids to hang out with?” You teased him, squinting your eyes as you turned your attention to him again. The sun was bright, raised high into the sky as it warmed his skin. His lips pulled into a smile.

“Uh,” He laughed as he rubbed the back of his head, “My friend group is pretty small these days.” He said with a shrug of his shoulders. You felt a little guilty, already knowing about the various fallouts he’d had within the last year. His fall from being king of the school had been known to all.

“I understand,” You smiled as you shifted in your seat, “Push me?” You asked as you got comfortable, grinning as you thought about how not much had changed since middle school.

“Are you dreaming out here again?” He asked as he took a hold of the rope, right underneath your hands and began to pull you back. You breathed in deeply, feeling like he was able to pull you back much further than he could before. He stopped right when your feet lifted the ground before he let you go.

“Facing a dilemma.” You told him once you were back to him, your stomach lifting up into your chest as his hands fell against your back to push you forward once again. You breathed in the rush of the green trees, of the muggy breeze as it hit your face.

“What about?” He asked inquisitively, his voice soft as he continued to press off of your back gently. You closed your eyes for a moment, knowing that you couldn’t really tell him what was bothering you. You didn’t want to upset him and you definitely didn’t want to upset Patty. You were in a bad spot.

“Friends, I suppose,” You hummed as he continued to push his fingers off of your back, “The future. I don’t know.” You shrugged your shoulders as you kept a tight grip on the rope, sighing as you floated back and forth in the air.

“Sounds thrilling,” He chuckled, “You uh, wanna go cool down?” He asked as he pulled you to a stop, making you laugh softly as your shoes dragged against the dirt once again.

“The pool?” You asked him curiously before you brought up that he’d have to drive you again. God, did you miss your car. He shook his head as he laughed.

“My pool,” He clarified, “I’ve had enough of being around bratty kids.” He said as he sighed deeply. You could only imagine the mess of kids that he had to deal with, knowing that he scooped ice cream all day.

“You like kids.” You told him as you stepped off of the swing. He had mentioned wanting a big family when he was younger. You knew that he got lonely.

“Sometimes,” He said with a laugh, “I’d like to just hang out with you for a while.” He said a little softer, making your eyes widen in surprise as you thought about his statement yesterday. You were curious as to when he had officially thought that you were pretty, but you didn’t pester him about it. This wasn’t real.

“Alright,” You said as you walked next to him, not missing the way his eyes lingered against you, “But I need to get my swimming suit. Wait here?” You asked him as you took the dirt path back to the little white house. It was well kept, full of your grandma's various shrubs and flowers.

“Is that Steve?” Gran turned towards you, her apron tied tightly on her waist and covered in whatever she had been canning today. By the looks of it, it seemed to be salsa.

“Not now gran,” You apologized as you kissed her cheek, “I’m going to go for a quick swim.” You explained as you headed towards your room, avoiding the creaky floorboards as you did so.

“Just you and him?” She shouted from the kitchen, making you sigh underneath your breath as you hurriedly reached for a bag. You stalled for a moment as you stared at your swimsuits, trying to decide which one to wear. Until you remembered it didn’t matter. You weren’t trying to impress him.

“Friends,” You told her sternly as you pointed your finger at her, “Just friends.” She grinned as she stood in the hallway, a knowing look in her mischievous eyes.

“Mhm,” She said as she shook her head, “Take these with you. He used to love them.” She replied as she handed you a jar filled with pickles.

“Your pickles are the best.” You told her sweetly, grinning as you pulled the backpack onto your shoulders

“I already know that,” She said with a laugh, “Just take it to him. As friends, of course.” She added a second later, patting your shoulder and making your insides warm. You ignored her teasing, knowing it would get nowhere.

“I’ll be back later,” You said as you clutched the jar in your hands, “And don’t tell grandpa!” You commanded as you headed out the door, knowing you’d never hear the end of it if he knew.

You jumped off of the last step, your shoes crunching against the dry grass as you followed the trail back to Steve. His head was tilted up towards the sky, focused on the little tree house that you used to play in. It had been some time since you’d been in it. You were sure it looked exactly as you left it.

“Ready?” He asked as a smile grew on his lips, his eyes smooth like honey as you fell into step with him. You were once again reminded of how odd it all felt. Part of you still really didn’t know how to speak to him.

“Sure,” You replied, blinking away your conflicting thoughts as you did whatever you could to not focus on the feeling of his palm against yours. You’d held his hand before, but something about this felt different. Far too strange, odd. You felt like you were in middle school, trying to interact with your first crush all over again, “Did you walk?” You asked him curiously, noticing that his car was missing from the driveway.

“I uh,” He answered after a brief pause, “I parked down the road.” He gestured down towards the right, pointing far past the mailbox and the ugly tree that your grandpa had never been able to cut down.

“Why?” You asked him curiously, a little amused as you headed down that direction with him. He moved to the left of you, keeping himself closer to any incoming traffic.

“I guess I didn’t want to scare you off.” He admitted as he shrugged his shoulders, looking a little bashful once again. He glanced towards you, then quickly looked away once again. Like he was shy.

“I’m terrified,” You answered playfully, raising your eyebrows as he rushed around to open the car door for you, “Such a gentleman.” You teased once again, trying to ignore the way your heart increased at the close manner he stood next to you. He grinned from ear to ear, resting against the side of the door as he held it open for you.

“I told you I was.” He chuckled as he smiled at you, ensuring that you got situated comfortably and buckled up. You stared up at him, lips pressing into a gentle smile.

“Does the car drive itself or-?” You trailed off, trying to hide your amusement as he quickly straightened himself out, shut the door and then scrambled around the front of the car. You inhaled deeply, covering up your own smile. It was hard to feel bitter when he reminded you so much of the boy you’d known so long ago.

The short ride back to his house was comfortable, relaxing even. It was hard to think of how much time had passed, when it felt like nothing had changed at all. Even the steps up to his house were familiar. You wondered if he thought the same thing.

You were too distracted by how his mother’s decorations had changed, how the furniture was somehow newer than you remembered it. How spotless the house was. Sometimes it felt like no one really lived here. You turned back to face him, the question about what city his parents were in this time dying on your tongue as you took in his appearance.

“You’re undressing here?” You asked him shrilly, eyes wide as you tried to will yourself to look away. It didn’t happen. You stared at his chest, taking in his soft sides and the way the hair from his chest traveled all the way down. You were suddenly parched.

“I have my trunks on underneath.” He said as he furrowed his dark eyebrows together, laughing softly as he drifted his eyes across your expression. You crossed your arms over your chest, quickly turning away so he couldn’t read you.

“Okay,” You drew out slowly, “Well I don’t, so turn around.” You grinned as you made a small spinning motion with your finger, gesturing him to do exactly that. He raised his eyebrows in surprise for a moment, like he hadn’t thought about that before he quickly turned on the heels of his feet.

“I mean,” He stopped for a second as you began to strip down quickly, eyeing him in case he got any ideas, “I have seen you naked before.”

“Yeah when we were like ten,” You told him as you shifted the red material over your thighs, “And that was only because we got covered in leeches from the creek you wanted to swim in.” You reminded him as you slid your boobs into your top, then fussed with the straps until they were even and straight.

“Well,” You watched as he tilted his head back and forth, his brown hair moving with him, “I guess that’s right.” You laughed, wondering if he was thinking of all of the little leeches that had been on his back. Your gran had her hands busy that day.

“I’m done,” You smiled breezily as you walked past him, “Your pool is leech free, right?” You asked as you kept your eyes on his, refusing to look anywhere else. Because that would be weird.

“At the moment.” He responded as he pushed the door open for you, his eyes lingering against your collarbone. You had a feeling he wasn’t talking about the little blood sucking worms.

You both took a brief pause to rub in sunscreen, to dip your toes into the water to get acclimated before you were fully diving in. Steve liked to jump in through the deep side, showing off his same tricks of different flips to obviously show off just how cool he was.

“You sure you don’t have anywhere else you’d rather be?” You asked as the water dripped from the top of your head, racing down the back of your neck as you swam towards the edge of the pool. Steve moved his arms a lot easier than you did, drifting through the water with ease.

“No,” He said quickly, “If I’m being honest I don’t do much but work these days. The only people that think I’m somewhat cool seem to be a group of middle schoolers.” He sort of mumbled the last part, like he was embarrassed about it. You shook your head at his response.

“Oh,” You paused for a moment, “Oh Steve. Oh no.” You laughed when you realized he was telling the truth. You rested your arms up against the edge of the pool, sighing deeply as you continued to kick your feet in the water to keep yourself balanced.

“I know how it sounds,” He chuckled as he held his hand up, “But uh yeah. I guess it’s as bad as it sounds.” He laughed as he pushed his long fingers through his wet hair. It was long, parts of his strands a little lighter than the rest. Like he’d been out in the sun for too long this summer.

“You’ve always had a good heart.” You told him as you gripped a hold of the tiles, pulling yourself back onto the edge of the pool. You ignored the way the tiles nipped at the back of your thighs, burning softly against your skin. Water continued to fall from your body, leaving a little puddle around you as he moved his elbows on the edge next.

“I think you’re the only person that thinks that.” He mumbled as he tilted his head back and forth, thinking thoughtfully for a second. You drifted your eyes across his features, wondering what he was thinking about.

“Shame on everyone else then,” You told him as you shook your head at him, “Because it’s true. You have a great heart.” You added as you smiled at him. You nudged your foot against his side, breaking him out of his trance as he turned to face you.

His cheeks were slightly flushed but you blamed it on being out in the sun for so long. His hair was slicked back from being wet, showing off all of his features to you. His framed eyebrows were soft, relaxed as he tilted his chin up towards you. Your eyes danced over the constellations on his nose, then at the moles on his cheeks, his neck and his shoulders. He was covered in them.

His eyes were always interesting to you. Hooded and slightly downturned. His eyelashes glinted in the sun from this position, giving the brown in his eyes a golden hue. It matched nicely with the little bit of green that mingled in there. Pretty. Too pretty.

Your heart thumped once, then twice before you felt like it gained its rhythm back. You were certain Steve had never looked at you in such a way before. Because you certainly would’ve had very different feelings towards him if he had. His brown eyes were too soft, too full of admiration and awe to be looking at you.

“Do I have something on my face?” You spit out nervously, unable to help yourself as you brought your hands on your knees. You felt the need to hide away, not used to the way he was looking at you. No one had ever looked at you before.

“No.” He said slowly, his soft pink lips curling into a very soft smile. His lips looked so gentle and smooth, good enough to touch.

“You’re staring at me.” You whispered despite no one else being nearby. Perhaps it was the guilt you were suddenly feeling. Like you were betraying your other friend, Patty. What would she do if she knew what you were doing?

“You’re really pretty.” He said as he continued to smile, shrugging his shoulders as the water moved with his motions. You gulped harshly, trying to think of how to answer that as he began to gently touch your left knee with his long fingers. You observed the size difference, wondering if this would make you melt away.

“Thank you,” You told him as you cleared your throat, the movements of your feet stopping as he began to trace his fingers against your knee. A spark grew from where he touched, traveling up the length of your body and all the way down to your toes, “You’re really handsome.” You answered him truthfully.

“Have you ever been on a date before?” He asked you a second later, raising his eyebrows as you tried to get your thoughts and feelings unjumbled once again. It was hard. Especially when his fingers tickled further and further up your exposed thigh.

“Yes I have.” You answered him at last, watching as his eyes snapped back up towards you again. He narrowed his eyes as he observed your features, like he was searching for lies.

“Where to?” He asked as he jerked his head up towards you. You laughed, sure that you were reading some jealousy on him. How odd, cute.

“Mhm,” You paused softly as you thought about it, “We went and got some late night food and then hit up the Motel Six.” You explained the way you had been so romantically swooned. Other than that it had just been hanging out with your ex, nothing really labeled as a date.

“Were you drunk?” He asked with a laugh, shaking his head as you tried to defend the previous dates that you had been on. They weren’t that bad.

“Just a smidge,” You grinned as you held your thumb and index finger far apart, “It was at a party or two.” You explained with a laugh. That was more than fine with you. You really didn’t know how to be romantic with anyone else.

“Then it doesn’t count,” Steve replied confidently as he gave your thigh a reassuring squeeze, making you giggle at the way it tickled, “I’m going to take you out properly. The whole nine yards.” He promised, making you feel nervous all over again.

“So?” Patty asked as she held her head high, looking at you expectantly the next day as she joined you at work. You rested your hands on your hips, feeling like she should apologize to you before you said anything else. But you were always the first one to break.

“I did it,” You told her softly, “I went out with Steve.” You said as you shrugged your shoulders. It wasn’t a complete lie. He did say that he was going to take you out yesterday and he had. Even if it had been at his pool.

“How was it?” She asked in excitement, leaning forward with her face on her hands like everything was forgiven. You sighed as you glanced towards the ice cream shop across the way.

“Nice,” You told her as you nodded your head, “It was really nice.” You shrugged your shoulders as you began to make her drink, figuring you might as well keep to your usual routine. You didn’t like when she iced you out. It made you feel lonelier than you liked to admit.

“Did he suspect anything?” She hummed her question to you, like she was suddenly afraid that someone might know of your plans. You were sure no one would care.

“No,” You told her, “You were right. He had no idea.” The words felt cruel rolling off of your tongue. Steve had been so nice, yet you still felt like something was off.

“Won’t this be fun?” She squealed out towards you, slapping her palms against the counter in excitement. You weren’t nearly that excited. You weren’t excited at all. In fact, you felt like you were going to be sick as you pushed her the free drink.

“Patty,” You breathed out softly, “I know he did you wrong but I don’t think I can do this. I’m not a heartbreaker type.” You explained to her as you shook your head. What would you do? Your grandparents would be so disappointed and especially Steve. If he really was into you, he’d be devastated.

“That’s what you think,” She grinned as she fussed with your hair, “Once we get you all dolled up, you’ll know all about it.” She looked you over, like she was trying to decide where she needed to start. You didn’t want another makeover from her.

“I still don’t-,”

“What?” She asked you, “Are you just going to date my ex boyfriend now?” She asked in anger, eyes flashing as you felt your shoulders slump. It was always like this with her, but you had no other friends. You were used to it.

“No,” You said quickly, “God no. You know I would never do that.” You told her seriously, unsure of how to prove to her that you had no feelings for him. He was just a friend. A really handsome friend.

“Then what’s the issue?” She asked with a shake of her head, “You’ll have to dump him anyways. Why not lead him on for a while?” She asked as she began to sip on her drink obnoxiously. You sighed.

“My gran loves him.” You reminded her, feeling like that was a very important part. Your gran would certainly never let you live that down. She thought the world of Steve, said he had the kindest eyes.

“I mean,” She sighed deeply, “I just thought you’d be a little more helpful to the one that actually cares about you. That didn’t ditch you freshman year and leave you eating alone in the bathroom.” She was more harsh than she needed to be, but it got the point across. You picked at your nails.

“I didn’t eat in the-,” You stopped yourself, shaking your head, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess I can-, do this for a while.” You said at last, trying to pretend like it wasn’t eating you up. You knew that whatever you did, it would hurt someone. You were stuck in a bad spot, one that would require a lot of thinking. God help you.

(If you want a taglist and to be added lemme know <3)

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter V: We Don’t Have to Talk About it.

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev.

songs for this chapter: cool about it by boygenius, pink pony club by chappell roan

summary: the celebrations for Chris’s return continue, this time with the first Corroded Coffin show in years!

a/n: everything i write in these chapters makes me want to write more LET’S GOOOO. keep an eye out for a new tab in coming chapters ;)

chapter tags: mean!eddie, mean!reader, fighting, weed, drinking, angst, hurt/no comfort, talks of adult content creation | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI

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—

You are determined to have a lazy, relaxing day off. Your brother’s gone out for a job interview, so you once again have your apartment to yourself. You start by indulging in a greasy homemade bacon egg and cheese sandwich, made on a toasted everything bagel slathered in butter. You savor it with sips of coffee consumed on your front porch, hoping your nextdoor neighbors aren’t awake yet to pollute the area with cigar smoke.

When you’re finished eating, you pluck the book you’ve been reading from its spot on the couch and make your way to the bathroom. One compromise you’d refused to make when apartment hunting: you needed a bathtub. No walk in shower bullshit. You’d gotten your wish with this old duplex, the bathroom, though a garish purple color, came with a beautiful clawfoot tub.

You let the water warm before plugging the drain, peeling off your pajamas and wrapping yourself in your soft, freshly washed robe. You have a routine on days like this. You’ll take a bath, smoke a joint and sip your coffee in the tub while you read at least three chapters before the water gets cold. You queue your On Repeat playlist, not willing to skip around every song in your library. The music sets a nice ambiance humming through your bluetooth speaker as you sink into the warm water, bubbles creating a soft blanket over your naked form. You release a sigh as you slip up to your neck, relishing in the warmth engulfing you. When your muscles feel loose, you dry your hands on the towel you’ve set aside, and pluck the joint from the ashtray. The sweet smoke fills your lungs, causing a pleasant burn in your chest. You exhale slowly, grabbing your book from the makeshift side table you’ve put together.

Currently, you’re halfway through Normal People, your copy a bit worse for wear, pages water stained and spine snapped in several places. It’s already punctured your heart a few times, you can’t help but feel frustrated for Marianne. The high buzzes pleasantly in your brain as you read, creating vivid pictures in your head from the words on the page. Marianne morphs into you, and for some reason Connell has grown long, curly locks and grown an affection for silver rings. All of this, set to the musical stylings of Boygenius in your steam filled bathroom. You’re supposed to feel at ease, but there’s a coil tightening in your belly you’re not sure how to stifle, making your chest flutter with excitement.

It becomes nearly impossible to focus on the story, so you set your book aside in favor of your phone. You’re careful to hold it above the water, scrolling through your various feeds to see what your friends are up to.

Stevie (@ thehairington): i’m never letting rob aux again for as long as i live

rob (@ lilbirdie): not MY fault ur a big baby!!!!!

b (@ babybeez): … do i wanna know what song ?

rob (@ lilbirdie): pink pony club! i thot it would be fun!!

b (@ babybeez): oh ur evil

Stevie (@ thehairington): RIGHT!!!

You giggle, imagining Steve as he and Robin drive to work, breaking down as Chappell sings, “You're always on my mind / And mama, every Saturday / I can hear your southern drawl a thousand miles away, saying GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE,” and you wish you were with them. Maybe you’ll go bother them later, once you grow tired of being with only yourself for company. You exit out of Twitter and open Instagram, the first picture when your feed loads being the last people you want to see right now. It’s a picture of Eddie, clearly taken by someone else. He’s sticking his tongue out at the camera, standing in front of The Hideout.

@ thefreakmunson: come thru tonite, corroded coffin plays at ten.

Ugh, right. It’s Tuesday. Your mother is definitely gonna call you to work tonight, and your good mood flies out the window. As if reading your mind, your phone dings, but it’s not your mother.

Eddie (block later.): Is my favorite bartender workin tonite?? ;)

You seem to stab each letter as you reply:

god i fuckin hope not.

he replies only with :(

__

It takes another hour for your mom to text you.

mama: hi honey, i know i tell you every week you can have tues off, but i just got a call from chris’s buddies telling me they’re coming to surprise him tonight. would u mind? i’ll owe u

you love your mom more than anything, but you can’t tell her you’d do it for nothing, because it’s going to be torture. Ever since Chris joined the band when Gareth went to college, you’d been avoiding working Tuesdays even more than before. The band hadn’t played their usual nighttime slot since Chris had come home, so the crowd is expected to be substantial.

yea of course mom, see u at 8

mama: thx baby bee

You look at the clock, the red lights reading 12:00 PM. Still plenty of time to go get your friends to come out tonight, despite them both having to work tomorrow. Luckily, they love you, so you don’t expect to have a hard time. You take your time getting dressed, humming along to the music as you comb your hair and do your makeup. Once you're satisfied, You migrate to your closet to pick out an outfit for tonight. Something devious plays in your brain, and you want an outfit that will draw attention. You want to look hotter than you feel, hoping to trick yourself into confidence in the face of a possibly awful night. You look hot though, in a cropped black t-shirt and form hugging jeans, and take the opportunity to post a long overdue selfie.

—

“Bee!” Robin squeals when you enter the record store, far too excited to see you.”You look hot!” Now she’s complimenting you. Something’s up.

You make your way through the long outdated shop, surrounded by walls lined with records ranging from the 60s to 90s exclusively, and a floor dusty with loose boards that creak loudly with every step. It’s a miracle this place has enough business to stay open. You like to conspire that the owner Mr. Summers is in the Mob, and this place has been his front since it opened in ‘86. You keep that in your diary only, though.

“Should I duck and cover?” You direct the question at Steve, who’s standing at the counter with a big grin on his face. “Not you, too. What’s going on?”

“You’re gonna want to kiss him when you hear this.”

“Oh?”

“Do you wanna tell her?” Robin calls over her shoulder.

“Well actually—,”

“He got us Chappell tickets.”

Your mouth falls open so fast you feel your jaw pop.

“She’s in Indy this weekend, and I happened to have some extra money from, y’know,” Robin holds her hand up, “We do not need to hear about your OnlyFans, Steve.”

Steve shrugs. “And yet, I still let you reap the rewards.”

You squint at him. “Are you doing a bit right now?”

They shake their heads, faces flushed from laughter.

“Seriously?”

“Look me up, stevethestallion.” His tone is even now, all traces of joking gone.

You call his bluff, and type the website you definitely haven’t used before into the browser. When it definitely doesn’t already have you logged in, you type in the alleged username. “One or two e’s?”

“Just one, I can’t compare to Megan like that!”

You shake your head, hitting search. The page loads. The account is behind a 25 dollar pay wall, but the visible follower count reads 35K. The profile picture is faceless, a shirtless torso with an abundance of chest hair, and the smallest hint of a happy trail. You click on it, purely for further investigation. You find your answer when you can see the faintest outline in the background of the same exact Tame Impala poster that Steve has hanging over his bed.

“Oh my fucking god. Hell yeah, dude.” You laugh, and Steve seems to release a held breath. “What, you think I'd be, like, grossed out? This is hot. And a really smart financial endeavor, apparently.”

Robin nods in agreement. “With perks!” The three of you burst into laughter.

When you’ve settled, breathing heavily to avoid lingering giggles, you turn to face them again. “Now, after this I feel even worse for asking you guys for a favor, but I’m desperate.”

“You want us to come out tonight?” Steve doesn’t miss a beat.

You straighten your back, suddenly bashful. “How’d you know?”

He clears his throat, signaling Robin to continue.

“Eddie uh, invited us out.” She rushes out.

You suck your lips between your teeth, nodding stiffly. “‘Course he did, yeah.”

“Asked me if you were working.” She adds, and you meet her gaze, panicked.

“And you said?” She shrugs. “What does that mean?”

“I literally sent him the shrug emoji.”

“I mean, you are, right?”

You nod, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Okay. This is fine. Everything will be fine.”

Robin cages you in, planting a hand on each of your shoulders. “You’ll get through it. Do it for Chappell.”

You lean into the dramatics. “Of course, for Chappell.”

—

Chappell owes you, big time. Tuesdays have gone from a quiet, boring weeknight with less than five hundred dollars in the register by the end of the night. Unfortunately, those days have long since ended since you’d left for college. Every Tuesday, Eddie’s band Corroded Coffin plays The Hideout, despite your begging and pleading with your mom to stop booking them.

“I can’t!” She’d reason, “Not if you and your brother want anything to help pay for my funeral!” She was being dramatic, for the most part. But they did bring in the green, as much as you hate to admit it. Apparently a popular music reviewer had given them a shoutout, garnering them an actual audience. You‘re happy for the guys, mostly. You just aren’t in the mood to be the people pleasing, flirty bartender tonight.

It’s almost ten when the van finally pulls into the back lot. “Where the hell have you guys been?” You hiss when your brother exits the driver’s side.

“Had to make a stop.” The irritation in his voice is palpable. You motion for him to elaborate, and he jerks his head to where Eddie is opening the back door, offering his hand out to help Macy climb out. “Sat in her fuckin’ driveway for twenty minutes.”

You glare daggers at the pair of them, and Eddie must feel them on his neck because he jerks his head, eyes immediately meeting yours. You don’t let up, hoping your expression translates the rage you feel in your gut. Eddie is the first to break the staring contest, looking back to the woman on his arm. She meets his gaze with a glare of her own, and he whispers something to her that breaks her grimace into a giggle. Your palms start to sweat.

“Go, we’ll start setting your shit up. Mom’s hysterical.”

“Okay. I’ll run damage control after. Sorry, Beebs.”

“Yeah, yeah. Not you that’s gonna be sorry.” You send another seething look to the pair walking to the stage door, attached at the hip and without even a halfhearted acknowledgement of their lateness. “Asshole.” You follow the rest of them inside, Chris on your heels.

“Where the hell have y'all been?!” Your mom exclaims when Chris enters the green room, a barely renovated office that fits about three and a half people at a time. You hand your brother off to be berated, and power walk to the stage to set up equipment. Your warpath comes to a screeching halt when you reach the wings, the scene playing out in front of you preventing you from moving further.

Eddie is sitting on a barstool, guitar forgotten on his lap as Macy stands over him, passionately licking into his mouth. Eddie’s eyes are closed, and he kisses her back with little restraint, the tent growing in his pants becoming obvious when the instrument begins to slide from his lap. He catches it without breaking from her, placing it on the stand next to him. You decide you don’t have time to wait for whatever this is to play out in its likely disgusting entirety, so you leave the comfort of the shadows and make your presence known.

“Ahem,” You clear your throat loudly, causing the couple to separate abruptly, each wiping the other’s saliva from their mouth. “Sorry to interrupt, but if you don’t want an entire crowd of pissed off drunks against you, you might wanna let me set up.”

“Hey, Bee.” Eddie recovers from embarrassment quickly, you’ll give him that. You nod in acknowledgment, knowing any words you give him will be laced with unnecessary venom.

“Eddie, baby, you wanna take this to the bathroom?” Macy’s tone is sultry, needy. You almost feel bad for her, being this hypnotized by Eddie’s charm. You wish you could help her, but it’s possible she’s too far gone.

“Yeah ‘course, baby. I’ll meet you there in a sec.” His gaze slides from her to where you stand across the stage, the only sounds coming from the patrons beyond the curtain.

“Don’t make me wait too long.” She slinks away, hips swaying. She brushes past you, leaving the sweet stench of her perfume behind. What demon did Eddie make a deal with?

“So,” Eddie muses, rising from the stool. “You’re workin’.”

“No shit, really?”

“Hey, don’t be mean. Just makin’ small talk.”

“That’s not necessary.” You unglue yourself from the floor, busying yourself with wires and speakers as Eddie keeps talking. “Just thought, y’know, you had tonight off.”

“I did,” You bite, “but then Chris invited the whole damn state of Indiana.”

“Ah, ‘course. The third homecoming party this week for the lovable Christopher L/n, convicted felon.” He chuckles, and you stop what you’re doing to respond. Something in you snaps, quick and clean.

“Fuck you, Eddie.” You spit, and he throws his hands up.

“Whoa, I was kidding!”

“Shut up, I’m talking.” His eyes bulge out of his skull. “You have the audacity to make jokes about Chris, but he could’ve brought you right down with him. You were 18, a goddamn adult. But he kept his fucking mouth shut to protect you. You know who he didn’t fucking protect? When her bullies learned he wasn’t home anymore, or when she had fucking no one on her side and the one other kid she found comfort in never called her again?” You let loose, doing your best to keep your voice even. “You ever wonder what would’ve happened, Eddie? If the roles had been reversed, and Chris had done what you did? Don’t even pretend you’d forgive him for that. There’s something else going on, and I intend to find out what it is.”

He doesn’t interrupt your rant, instead holding your intense stare with apparent ease. When you finish, he waits a beat, letting the metaphorical dust settle. Finally, he answers. “You have to let it go, Bee. There are some things you just don’t wanna know. Don’t need to know. I will never not feel guilty about what I did, but I can’t tell you anything else. I wish I could, really.”

You’re careful with your next words. “But, if I were to figure it out without your help…?”

He catches your drift. “I probably wouldn’t be able to deny it convincingly.” Eddie shrugs, signaling the end of the conversation. “I’ll let you set up. You gonna watch our set?”

“I don’t have a choice.”

Eddie snickers. “That’s my girl.” And he walks offstage before you can react to the statement, or demand he at least pretend to help.

—

You make it back to the bar in time to save your mom from the massive line of rabid patrons.

“Where have you been?” She half shouts over the noise, pouring a glass of Guinness for one of Stan’s high school friends, Scotty, you’re almost certain.

“Setting up the stage!” You shout back, failing to hide the irritation in your voice. You turn to the booze hound in front of you. “What can I get you?”

You sense your mom moving closer, still grabbing glasses and bottles to pass across the counter. “No need for the attitude, Beebs.”

“Ugh, sorry. Just not what I wanted to be doing tonight.”

“Oh, and I just adore being here?” She nudges you until you grit your teeth, forcing a smile. “You wanna tell Mama what’s wrong?”

“Nah, not right now. We’ll dish later.” You love gossiping with your mom, but she knows Eddie. She knows what he’s like, what your past with him entails, and she’ll surely have plenty of insight for you.

As you take another order, the house lights dim and the crowd goes wild. You can’t help but turn your head towards the stage, where your brother’s friends have formed a pit in the front, whooping and hollering as the band takes the stage. Chris points to his friends with his drumstick, causing them to jump around, playfully shoving each other to get the crowd moving.

Eddie comes out last, greeted with more wild cheers, a lot of them more shrill than those given to Chris. Girls throw themselves toward the stage, offering their wombs to him like he’s Paul McCartney in the 1960s. You watch, your vision red around the edges, as he blows a kiss to Macy in the front row, and she pretends to catch it. You have to look away to keep from gagging.

—

“Thank you, Hawkins! We have been Corroded Coffin, goodnight!” The band line up across the stage, taking their bows. Next to where you stand with Robin and Steve across the bar, Macy and her gaggle of friends whoop and holler obscenities. It disappoints you, watching such a beautiful woman have her bar set so low.

“Oh my god,” Robin follows your stare. “No fucking way.”

“I know, she’s stunning, don’t remind me.” You rest your chin in your hand, slouching over the bar.

“Of course she is, that’s Macy Miller!”

You blink at her, not understanding why her last name matters.

“She’s the bassist of Statuesque Dolls, they’re the opening band for Chappell’s tour!” The gleaming smile on her face vanishes when she looks at you again. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s Eddie’s latest muse, or something.” you shake your head from the thoughts of Macy onstage. She’s probably irresistible, a symbol of feminism and sex and rock ‘n’ roll.

“No fuckin’ way.” Robin shakes her head in disbelief. “He’s blackmailing her. Or something. Right?”

You shake your head. “Change the subject, Rob. Please.”

“Okay, sure. Steve is a pornstar.”

You burst into laughter. “A popular one! Good for him, really.”

Robin crosses her arms. “Good for him, sure, but what about me?! He’s my roommate, Bee!”

“Come on, you’re paranoid. He probably doesn’t film while you’re home.” She purses her lips, but doesn’t respond. “Don’t be such a conservative.”

She gasps. “How dare you!”

“Hey, ladies!” The subject of your conversation enters your huddle, a beer sloshing in his hand. “How are my most favorite people in the whole wide world doin’?” Steve’s cheeks are bright pink, stretched by his massive smile. His eyes are half closed, like it’s still too bright in the dimly lit bar.

“Someone’s not concerned about opening tomorrow.” You tease, motioning to his frothy drink.

“Oh, Melvin gave me the day off.” He beams, and Robin scoffs. “Sorry, Bob, snooze ya lose.”

“Oh, sure, ‘til I call out and he tells you to cover.” She winks before leaning over the bar to you. “Shots?”

You snort a laugh and grab the tequila off the bar. At the same time you finish pouring the third shot, a fourth figure looms over you. “You all takin’ shots?” Eddie’s eyes shine with eagerness.

“Yeah, you want?” Steve offers, and Robin digs her elbow into his ribs. You grab a fourth glass and slice of lime without a word, feeling the skin inside your mouth break between your teeth.

“Are we toasting?” He looks from your friends to you, and his expression softens. You shrink under his gaze, suddenly wishing you hadn’t said a word to him before the set.

“Um, not particularly.” Robin attempts to cut the tension, but she’s met with no response beyond a confused Steve asking, “What about, to friendship?”

Robin pinches the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “Dingus, read the damn room.”

“What?” He giggles, still not getting it. “What did I say?”

“No, Rob. It’s cool, I like that.” You hold your own shot glass up, signaling your friends to do the same. “To friendship, current and otherwise.” You chance looking at Eddie, and his eyes are already locked on you. He doesn’t look away when you catch him, only tilts his glass towards you before licking the salt from the back of his hand and downing the liquor. He doesn’t flinch, calmly reaching for the lime to relieve his palette. You follow suit, the burning nothing you can’t handle. Being a bartender has its moments, but this isn’t one of the prouder ones.

—

“So,” Your mother starts, spraying the bar with disinfectant as you finally lock the door for the night. “What happened?”

“What?” You pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about, busying yourself with a mop across the room.

“What, what? You’ve been snippy all night. I want to make sure you’re alright.”

You shrug. “Nothing happened specifically. The boys just get on my nerves is all.”

“Boys? Or Eddie?” Your mom gives you her Mother Knows All look.

“Ugh, whatever.” You don’t answer the question.

“Bee, you can talk to me. I know you’re going through a lot, your brother being home and all. You haven’t seen Eddie in, what, two years?”

“Three.”

“Three years! See, you’re taking a lot on at once. You know you can lean on me, right?”

You set the mop back in its bucket and walk over to your mom, picking up a rag and the spray bottle before moving to the tables. “Yeah, I know. But I’m sure you’re also trying to cope with your son being back, I don’t wanna add any more stress on top of that.”

“You’re my baby. Your stress is my stress, always.”

Your walls crumble at her affirmation. “It’s just, who does he think he is? He has the audacity to show his face around here after what he did! And Chris just lets him! It’s like nothing happened, and it’s pissing me off. Making me feel fucking crazy!” You usually don’t swear around your mom, but it all pours out of you. “And he talks to me like we’re buddies, like he didn’t ruin my fucking life when he sent Chris to prison.” You rub your tired eyes, awaiting your mom’s wisdom.

“Have you talked to Chris? Gotten his side?”

You roll your eyes. “I tried. He told me very little. Eddie was no help either.”

Your mom tosses her rag aside and leans her elbow on the counter. “Boys are morons, baby bee. I’m sorry. I wish I could offer something more profound. You’re talking to a divorcee, here.”

You laugh despite your mood. “Are we all just doomed? Forced to deal with this inferior species for the rest of our lives?”

Your mother chuckles. “Probably!”

—

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj let me know if you’d like to be added!

[lovelylunasnow]

About the books:

A lot of you asked me about the books and where I got them.

Seeing your curiosity I will tell you all the story, but I got to warn you, it’s crazy and long.

Let me start by saying I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. (Not joking, nobody will come here as a tourist, if anything they drive pass us without giving my town a second glance). It’s a very old town, kinda charming in its own spooky way as the town was built waaaayy back then in the late 1880’s and a lot of the old buildings are still standing and in use.

One said building is our old “public” library, a focal point for locals as we went there to read or use the internet or pass time as there is not much to do.

Sadly this changed when the old library keeper died, the library while it was use by the public it was technically private property owned and operated by the old library keeper and his family for many generations. His kids without telling anybody sold the library to a group without telling anybody.

Had they known that the town mayor was willing to pay double for the building to keep it being run as it was they would have probably changed their mind.

Sadly this is when stuff goes from bad to worse. The people they sold it to was a cult.

I am not joking, they claim to be people of god but their not, they are extremist who do some…. Very bad things I will not say here… but if I had to compare them to anybody I compare them to Warren Jeff and his cult. (I am not exaggerating).

They let their plans know about how they were going to turn the library to sell books that are “religious” and “safe” and they were going to “purge out” all the evil.

Knowing what they were going to do the town band together to complain even the mayor got involved and offered to buy it back but they refused.

So me and a couple of others knowing what was coming we banded together and made a little group to hopefully save the books as we knew they were planning to get rid of them.

For a couple of nights our group grew and we planned. The first few plans failed…. That being that we tried to check out as many books as we could before they did anything. Sadly they caught on and would stop anybody from taking the books.

Then the staff got involved and grabbed and snuck out as many books as they could and snuck them out before quitting. (Their words “We are not working for those wackos” ) The most smart was the janitor who stuffed as many books as he could inside his janitorial cart and left. He did it several times before he was caught and had to run away with the cart while the crazy people chased after him. (He got away).

Sadly it was not enough and there was still a lot of books left.

Even worse the cult got smart and basically locked the building, not letting anybody in or out as they “Performef a cleansing and got rid of all the words of Lucifer and Lilith”.

There was a chance that we were too late to save the rest of the books and manga but we wanted to take a last chance.

So some of the most bravest, myself included made up an operation which we called “Operation saving Alexandria”.

Me and several others with their pick ups would sneak into the building in the middle of the night, climb up the fence and look around hoping to find where they trashed the books…. Secretly praying they were not thrown into a shredder before being tossed out.

I, another and the driver snuck in, the driver would stay by the car, my partner would help me look around.

Eventually we found this large roll off dumpster, I got in with the help of my partner, at first I thought the books were shredded cause all I saw was white till I opened a bag and saw that they were not shredded, but rather the book binding was torn off and the pages were scattered.

This was salvageable so I began to take garbage bags and throw them to my partner who in turn ran them over and threw them over the fence to the driver who caught and put them in the back of the pick up.

Once the pick up was full we drove away and then the second team was dispatched. Did the same process till their pick up was full and drove off.

Between several of us we emptied out that container. Even though it took several hours and one of the group claims that his group got caught by the cops who then turned a blind eye and let them go, acting as if they saw nothing.

With all the bags placed in a neighbors house who was not only a former library employee but had a large storage barn we began the phase two.

Opening the bags we sorted out all the pages of the books and tried to figure out where they belonged to make the books whole again.

It was not easy work and it also further confirmed the cult was even more of lunatics than we thought as they literally threw everything away. All the history, science, math books ect, all of the manga and comics, fantasy, sci-fi, everything had been thrown out!

So ya, it took us a long time and the effort of almost the whole town (minus the cult) to piece the books back together, then we had a fund raiser to gather enough money to send the pages to bookbinders and such so the pages can be put together in proper hardcover books.

When it was done the storage barn was converted into local public library for all of us to enjoy. We even named the new building “Library of Alexandria” as a tribute for our operations with the people who used to work at the old library working there. (We even joked about how operation will eventually become local legend for us to share with our kids)

This hardcover Pokémon manga was one of the victims of the books that were thrown out and is now salvaged. Lovingly cared for everybody to read to their hearts content.

[brummiereader]

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting and my first time writing a fanfic. But here I am, inspired to write something after reading so many amazing Peaky Blinders fics on here. This is a bit of an out there story, think Peaky Blinders meets time travel, supernatural themes, the modern world, gypsy magic and very unusual circumstances to the start of a relationship. A quick thank you again to @cillmequick for proof reading my story and giving me the courage to post it.

A Ghost Of A Man (PART ONE)

Summary: Reader discovers a curious looking folder full of information on a Small Heath gang from the 1900's. After digging for more information she encounters someone or something in an abandoned building.

Warnings: Language, supernatural themes

Growing up close to Birmingham you had always felt drawn to the famous west midlands city. So drawn to it that you decided to enrol in the history course Birmingham University had to offer. You had a passion in particular for local history and books, you knew so much about the city, and one day you hoped to work in its biggest library. But it was not only history you had a passion for but also antiques. You would often visit small antique shops around the city, certain objects catching your eye, taking them home, then spending countless hours researching the object trying to find out the history behind it. You had quite the collection of items now, taking up the majority of space in your flat that you shared with your friend. Your friend Louise was also a student in history, you met Fresher's week at Uni, and after getting along so well you both decided to ditch student accommodation and rent out a flat together in and old house just outside Birmingham city center. You called it a flat because you didn't know what else to call it. It was more of a converted attic in an old house, the ceilings were low and the floorboards creaked no matter where you stepped but it was worth it, worth it for the vast view of old rooftops with their decaying chimneys, and the remnants of buildings from Birmingham's industrial past that seemed to go on as far as the eye could see. You would often find yourself sitting in the large armchair that occupied the spot next to the small round window in your bedroom, gazing out at the bricked buildings you wondered what life was truly like a hundred years ago in this city. You would get so lost in your thoughts looking out the window that you would often get this overwhelming feeling like you were not supposed to be here, you were living a life that was yours but in the wrong era, it was overpowering at times. You always put it down to your passion for the past and your longing to experience life in a different time. But was it?

It was Sunday, a day you enjoyed the most. Why? Because it was the day you would drag your friend to the antique markets. She loved history but was baffled why a 20 something year old girl would love old dusty smelly objects that in her opinion were better of in the bin.

"Come on Louise, please?"

"Jesus Y/N, don't you have enough old crap?"

" Erh no never...plus I have been waiting for this particular antique fair all year, everyone's hyped for it"

"Hyped for it? Do 70 plus year olds get hyped for things?" Your friend asked with a laugh.

" I'll have you know there are plenty of younger people that go to these markets, it's quite boujee nowadays to decorate your place with little antique nick nacks here and there"

" Boujee" She laughed "fine but you owe me a coffee and the biggest slice of cake available. Why is this one so special compared to the hundreds of others we go to every year?" She said trying to hide her laugh.

" Well...this antique fair will probably never happen again, its only antiques collected from one particular area of Birmingham, Small Heath"

You saw the flyer for the event on your way to Uni one day. After checking online for more information you knew you couldn't miss it, it was a one off event. Apparently the building everything had been stored in for over a hundred years had been brought by property developers and they wanted to get rid of it all, and quickly. The collection was supposed to be sold off to a museum but when the museum decided they no longer wanted to buy the lot of items it was left to collect dust, now everything had to go. Online it stated that there would be all sorts of items from local businesses to household items, clothes, jewelry, books, old newspapers, documents and furniture. You had to go.

Living in Sparkhill not far from Small Heath you decided to take public transport. After a short bus ride you made it to the antique fair. It was already pretty busy and much to your friends amusement you was indeed the only ones attending that weren't over the age of 60.

" Don't say anything" you mumbled to her.

" Are you sure your not from a different century? " She laughed.

Rolling your eyes grumbling to yourself you started to browse the tables. You was amazed at how well preserved everything was. There was everything you could think of for sale, a lot of it out of your price range but you couldn't help but lose yourself looking through it all.

" Y/N, come look at this old pub stuff" your friend called over.

" The Garrison? Do you think that was the name of the pub" you said looking at a large wooden plaque with the name written across it.

" Must be... Ooh! look at these old whiskey glasses, how much are these? She asked the man behind the table.

" For a set of four, 10 quid love"

" You don't even drink whiskey" you leaned into her and whispered.

"I'll take them. She nodded to to the seller. " Well I can put some Bailey's in them, that's close enough right?"

Shaking your head laughing you wandered off to the next stall. Bending down looking into a box you saw some old documents in a paper folder tied together with a red string "The Peaky Blinders ".

" Can I open this ?" you asked the woman.

" Go ahead darling" she nodded.

Opening it up you came across newspaper articles, business documents, police reports and one name In particular that kept popping up, Thomas Shelby. Quickly skimming over an article It talked about a razor gang called the Peaky Blinders based in Small Heath and the leader of that gang was one Mr Thomas Shelby. You were intrigued.

" How much for everything?" You asked.

" For you my lovely 20 pound"

A little pricey you thought, considering you could probably find all this information for free at the Sparkhill library you worked part time at but these were the original documents and newspaper clippings so you decided to go ahead and buy them.

"What did you find?" your friend asked while looking through some old books.

" This old folder about a razor gang that used to operate around here in the early 20th century"

" Riveting" She laughed.

" Ha.ha, I thought it would be a good idea for our latest Uni assignment"

" When our lecturer told us to pick a prominent figure that helped in the building of Birmingham's industrial and economical past I don't think he ment a razor gang Y/N" she laughed.

" It's still interesting though, could be a different take on the assignment? From what I have read so far this Thomas Shelby sounds like a dangerous man"

" I guess it is, if you like bad boys right?" She giggled linking arms with you as you both continued to look through the stalls.

"Wow Louise look at this necklace" you said as you beckoned your friend over with your hand.

"That's beautiful Y/N, you should get it"

The necklace itself was a small gold locket, turning it over there was the engraved initials M.S.

"I wonder who M.S was?" You asked your friend.

"Don't know" she said brushing her thumb over the engraving" but I'm sure with your research skills you will find out"

You continued to look at the locket, you tried opening it but it appeared to be jammed. Just as you was examining the locket for any damage an older lady appeared next to you. Her hands were adorned with rings and she had a curious looking necklace hanging around her neck, noticing you looking at it she spoke to you.

"It's the black Madonna" she said pressing the palm of her hand on it smiling to you. "It keeps me safe".

"It's beautifull, I've never seen anything like it" you said looking at her. She looked familiar, but you couldn't figure out where you had seen her before.

"You should get that" she said putting a friendly hand on your arm.

"Sorry?" You replied confused.

"The gold locket" she said opening your clasped hand around it. "It belongs with you" she said as she closed your hand around it again.

"I'm sorry, have I met you before? You look so familiar" you said as her piercing blue eyes looked deep into yours.

Shaking her head she smiled sweetly. "Maybe we knew eachother in another life"

Smiling back you opened your hand and looked at the locket nestled in your palm. She was right it did feel like it belonged to you, you couldn't explain it, you was drawn to it.

"I think I will get it" you said to the seller.

Turning to face the old lady, she was still looking at you, when you noticed a small tear in the corner of her eye.

"Thank you for convincing me, I'll treasure it" you said, slightly worried that you had upset this dear old lady somehow.

Patting your arm she turned and walked away giving you one last endearing smile.

"Who was that?" Asked your friend

" I don't know, but I feel like I know her from somewhere" you said your eyes following her as she disappeared through the market.

You continued looking through the antique fair for another hour, nothing else catching your eye you both decided to go have some lunch.

A few hours later you arrived back home. Going straight to your bedroom, you looked at your new locket and decided to try it on. It sat perfectly in the middle of your chest, you smiled at yourself in the mirror slightly adjusting it to make it straight. Sitting on your bed you opened up the folder you brought and started to read through everything.

How had you never heard of this gang? You thought to yourself. You knew almost everything about Birmingham's past. These documents looked official though, like someone was collecting information on them. Maybe they were never ment to be seen by anyone. Which begged the question how did they end up in a box at an antique fair? Feeling tired and overwhelmed with information you closed the folder deciding to research through the archives at work tomorrow.

The next day at work on your break you logged onto your computer. Clicking on archives you started typing key words into the search bar. Peaky Blinders, Birmingham razor gang, Shelby family, Small heath gang, Watery lane betting shop, Shelby company limited, Thomas Shelby. But nothing, nothing came up. One last go you thought to yourself, and you typed T.Shelby. There was one link, a death certificate. Clicking on it, you realised it was a death certificate for Thomas Michael Shelby born January 1890 death February 1922 Small Heath, Birmingham. It didn't state how he died, but mentally calculating his birth date and death date you realised he died pretty young. You was so intrigued by this gang, if you was going to use them for your assignment you needed to know more. Slightly frustrated with the lack of anymore information, you decided to dig deeper.

"Janette?" You said calling over to your boss." Will you do me a huge favour?" You said with pleading eyes.

"What do you need now?" she said as she crossed her arms with a slight chuckle.

"Can I have access to the Birmingham Journal newspaper archives"

"What year?"

"1922"

"We should have them upstairs in the storage room, but first things first are you going to tell me what your looking for?" your boss asked curiously.

"I'm doing research on this gang for Uni, the leader Thomas Shelby died in 1922 but on his death certificate it doesn't say how, don't you find that weird?"

"It's not that unusual, if he was part of a gang the authorities would have probably tried to cover it up, I mean I wouldn't be surprised if the police were on his payroll" she laughed raising her eyebrows. "Go on then, just be careful those books are very old, we really need to photocopy them onto the online database, I've told Richard plenty of tim..." She trailed off as she walked away still talking to herself.

Up in the storage room you was losing hope, you had already gone through two very large books filled with news articles from 1922. Pulling out the the third book from the shelf you let out a big sigh. Turning to the first page the article talked about an Italian gang and a man called Darby Sabini "wrong gang" you huffed. Ten pages later at the bottom corner of a newspaper was a short article. " Birmingham gang leader from small heath killed by rival gang". This has to be it you thought. It didn't specify it was the Peaky Blinders gang, but how many other gangs could there have been in Small Heath? It stated that... "The leader of the notorious Small Heath gang had been beaten within an inch of his life in an alleyway by a rumoured rival Italian gang, and was later found dead slumped in his office chair". You sat back in your chair sighing "Jesus Christ, what a way to go" you said aloud. He must have made his way back to his office, and died right there at his desk you thought. Curious you decided to find out where his office was located. After a few minutes of searching you found it on the online property census under the name "T.S Offices". It was close to the city center not far from Small Health. Checking the bus route online you realised the bus to his office passed right by Watery Lane.

Looking up at the clock, only 10 minutes left untill the library closes you said to yourself. Tapping your pen on the desk, fiddling with your new gold locket you was getting agitated, was you really going to do this? It was a pretty morbid thing to do, visiting the place where someone had died, but you had invested so much time into knowing about this man's life. You knew who his family was, that he served in the first world war, that he had an illegal betting shop heck you even knew where he brought his suits from, although you questioned if he actually brought them. You had read everything in that folder you found at the antique fair, tried to find anything on the online databases, you needed a conclusion to his story.

Finally it was five o'clock, packing up your things and turning off the front desk computer you hurried out the library waving goodbye to your colleagues. Walking to take the bus it finally occured to you that the office building was probably no longer there or had been converted into a block of flats. Stopping you started to turn around away from the bus stop, this was stupid, what was you doing you thought to yourself. Then you stoped again walking back to the bus stop then turning around again you walked away, you must have looked like a mad woman to anybody passing by. With a huge huff you psyched yourself up and headed back to the bus stop just in time for the bus. After a ten minute ride you arrived at your stop.

" Excuse me, excuse me!" You waved over to an elderly man on the opposite side of the road.

" I'm trying to find the old T.S offices? "

" Just around the corner love" he pointed to his right

" Thanks" you shouted back heading in that direction.

Turning the corner, you was now on a long road, each side of you were tall red bricked buildings. The direction to Thomas Shelby's office was down that very same street and then as you turn the corner on the left hand side it should be there. Walking down the street a strange feeling came over you, you thought about turning back until you came to the end of the road and saw it. It was still there, the building was still there, you couldn't believe it. It looked completely abandoned, a few windows smashed in and tall metal gates surrounding it with a sign saying "Keep out. Private property". Without even thinking you opened the bottom of the two metal gates being held together with a large metal chain and padlock and slid between them. It was pretty obvious others had been here before, a few beer bottles lying on the grass and some graffiti on the large wooden front door. You pushed with as much force as you could and opened the door. Stumbling in you first came across a large wooden staircase, on your left was an empty room so you decided to head up stairs. As you got to the top the first thing you noticed was that there was still some old furniture, desks facing opposite eachother, one even having an old type writer still on it. Paper was scattered all over the old floorboards and the paint on the walls was chipped and falling off. Picking up one of the papers it read at the top "Shelby Company Limited", you was definitely in the right place.

At the end of the room was a large door, that had to be his office you thought. Making your way over to the door that uneasy feeling started to creep up again, swallowing it down you opened the door. Inside was a large wooden desk and chair, walking over to the desk you brushed your fingers along the back of the leather chair. "Jesus Christ, it's cold In here" you whispered closing your cardigan around you. The windows were not broken in here though, why was it so cold? It was mid January, but wasn't a particularly cold day. Standing facing the window you exhaled out a breath of condensation. Rubbing your arms trying to warm yourself up, you looked down and noticed another piece of paper, it looked like a letter and was signed in hand "Thomas Shelby". Picking it up you sighed " So this is where you took your final breath Thomas Shelby".

Folding up the paper and putting it in your pocket you started to smell something strange a mix of tobacco and what you thought was whiskey. What the fuck you thought to yourself. Then you realised...shit, your not alone. You hadn't turned around from the window since picking up the letter, and you knew that when you would, you'd come face to face with the other person in this room. Slowly turning around your eyes on the floor, with your hands raised up shaking you spoke "I'm sorry...i'm sorry, I kno...know I shouldn't be in here". Your eyes still on the floor you was now facing the doorway, slowly lifting your gaze you noticed two black boots stood in-between the door frame, a long black coat resting against each side of the figures legs. As your eyes moved up you noticed the dark figures hands in their trouser pockets and a gold pocket watch chain attached to their waistcoat. Shaking you finally looked straight ahead of you, and there was a man with a lit cigarette in his mouth and a peaked cap shadowing his face. As he looked up his pale almost sickly white face came into your vision, a look of pure anger and malice spread across his face. His piercing pale blue eyes stared deep into yours, until in a dark deep husky voice he spoke...

"Who the fuck are you?"

NEXT PART

[goodnightmemes]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SEASON ONE SENTENCE STARTERS (PART ONE)

episodes: s01e01 - s01e04

❛ There are stories out there that need to be told. ❜

❛ Mortality beats a heavy drum. ❜

❛ Things didn't end well the last time, so forgive me if I'm a little nervous. ❜

❛ Do you not know your value? Do you suffer these indignities for some larger purpose? ❜

❛ Let the tale seduce you. Just as I was seduced. ❜

❛ Stop! Don't do that shit here! ❜

❛ Dishonesty breeds dishonesty. ❜

❛ It ain't easy, the work I do. Nothing but broken souls around me, and the ones that ain't broke are greedy. ❜

❛ The Earth's a savage garden. ❜

❛ How do you do that? Get in my head like that. ❜

❛ I had no room for feelings like these in my life. ❜

❛ I have seen death over and over and over and over again. It's boring. ❜

❛ Easy prey for the discerning predator. ❜

❛ And rather than fix it like a man should, I run like a coward. I run to the bottle. I run to the grift. I run to bad beds. ❜

❛ I laid down with the Devil. And he has roots in me, all his spindly roots in me, and I can't think nothin' anymore but his voice and his words! ❜

❛ I'm not the Devil. You were wrong about that. But I can give you death. ❜

❛ What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. ❜

❛ I can swap this life of shame, swap it out for a dark gift and a power you can't begin to imagine. You just have to ask me for it. ❜

❛ For the first time in my life, I was seen. ❜

❛ Be my companion. Be all the beautiful things you are, and be them without apology. For all eternity. ❜

❛ Memory is a monster. We forget, it doesn't. ❜

❛ We live off the blood of the living. Lap up the blood of the deceased and it'll suck you right down into death, along with your victim. ❜

❛ You have the power to subdue anyone you want, but sometimes restraint is your most powerful weapon. ❜

❛ This is your home now. ❜

❛ The sun gives life to everything but us. ❜

❛ The life of a vampire has its challenges and its rewards... ❜

❛ Do you contemplate the life of the rabbit before you cut it? Or do you simply cut?❜

❛ These are nightmares I'm having, not dreams. ❜

❛ One might think the ability to read a mind a most useful gift, but, in reality, it's quite mundane. ❜

❛ Every human thought boils down to three things..."I want food", "I want sex", "I want to go home". ❜

❛ You chase after phantoms of your former self. I'll break you of it. ❜

❛ You hide from me this long again, I'll hunt you down and slap you sideways. ❜

❛ I had powers now and decades of rage to process, and it was both random and unfortunate, the man picked that night to dabble in fuckery. ❜

❛ You are a library of confusion. ❜

❛ I don't like sleeping angry. ❜

❛ For the record, if disrespect was done to you, I would have killed him myself. ❜

❛ If you love your family, as I know you do, spare them all the pain that you are causing them. ❜

❛ I ain't never gon' have a family of my own, am I? No sons, no daughters. ❜

❛ I'm your family. ❜

❛ I've been neglectful of our romance. ❜

❛ He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover, and my maker… all of those things at once. ❜

❛ There is one thing about being a vampire that I most fear above all else... and that is loneliness. You can't imagine the emptiness, a void stretching out for decades at a time. ❜

❛ We must stay together and take precaution and never part. ❜

❛ Well, I don't say that you have to enjoy it! Kill them swiftly if you have to, but do it! Embrace what you are! You are a killer! ❜

❛ Come now, love, let's get you to the couch to die. ❜

❛ If you'd listen to me, if you finally submit to your nature, you will be filled, with all the life you can hold. ❜

❛ You will see death in all its beauty, life as it is only known at the very point of the death. You alone, of all creatures, can see death with that impunity. ❜

❛ You alone, under the rising moon, can strike like the hand of God. ❜

❛ Do you ever think that we, that's to say, our kind...were put on Earth for a larger purpose? ❜

❛ I put you on this earth. Your purpose is to enjoy yourself. ❜

❛ I desire blood as much as you do. But I wonder, should we be more selective? ❜

❛ Hunting is pure instinct. Reason is a set of leg irons. ❜

❛ Every one of them is capable of abomination, even the ones worthy of admiration. ❜

❛ Don't mind the shaking. I've snapped his spine. It's merely his nerves spasming. ❜

❛ I don't wanna kill people anymore. ❜

❛ So much of that year was a blur. And you can imagine what time's inevitable hammer does to the minute details. ❜

❛ This is the odyssey of recollection. ❜

❛ Oh, come now. I don't bite. ❜

❛ Aren't I enough? ❜

❛ We'll be together ten thousand nights, a hundred thousand.  ❜

❛ What we're doing is hard. Anything that wards off the dungs of the everlasting road we walk. ❜

❛ There. I said it. We're communicating so much better now, no? ❜

❛ You ever think about those old days when we were kids? ❜

❛ You wanna come around, you come around when people are awake. ❜

❛ Well, I thought we could have an orgy. You can fuck them, and I can eat them. ❜

❛ What can I say? I'm a lot. I'm not perfect. ❜

❛ I heard your hearts dancing! ❜

❛ You watched the whole thing like some creeper! ❜

❛ This is not a life! ❜

❛ Am I from the Devil? Is my very nature that of the Devil? ❜

❛ Take a black man in America, make him a vampire, fuck with that vampire, and see what comes of it. ❜

❛ You're here to threaten me, I suppose. ❜

❛ Why is your heart beatin' so fast? ❜

❛ Did you not smile when he begged? Did you not feel pleasure as you carved him up? ❜

❛ You did what you did because it gave you pleasure. ❜

❛ We should make this our anniversary. ❜

❛ That's why you and me ain't never gon' work. That's why you're always gonna be alone. ❜

❛ You were ready to abandon our home. Now you want a third. ❜

❛ I'm not human no more, am I? ❜

❛ I'll teach you, but not if we're going to have family secrets. ❜

❛ We're a family? ❜

❛ You're not a girl. You're a devil. ❜

❛ Hungry? You just ate a man twice your size. You can't possibly be… ❜

❛ I'm so hungry. I think I'm gon' die. Is that how vampires die? From starvation? ❜

❛ If you made me and you made [name], who made you? ❜

❛ When I'm tired, I'm not so kind. ❜

❛ Fighting sounds funny in French. ❜

❛ A girl vampire needs her own space if she's gonna find herself in this no-day world. ❜

❛ He got secrets. He don't give good answers to questions, sits on the truth like it's his chair or somethin'. ❜

❛ I thought we weren't supposed to keep secrets. ❜

❛ Sometimes, old people don't like talkin' much about the past. ❜

❛ For a killing machine, I kinda like her. ❜

❛ You wouldn't believe how time flies when there's people to eat and money to spend. ❜

❛ We do like mortals do. We fight, we eat, we laugh, we sleep, we love. ❜

❛ Never seen a dead one look so peaceful. You know what her last words were? ❜

❛ Wakes were invented in places where it snows. ❜

❛ You've been too sheltered, my belladonnic beauty. ❜

❛ You must be most ferocious, hmm? ❜

❛ There's something back there, something evil. ❜

❛ Yeah, I'm surprised your fancy parents let you out at night. ❜

❛ I finally got a few secrets of my own. ❜

❛ You're an angel. ❜

❛ This is why we never get close to mortals. Because sooner or later, they end up dead. ❜

❛ I had a daughter. ❜

❛ That means there's so much more fun out there to have. I'm just getting started.❜

[delta-pavonis]

more doctor/curator pleeeaaaase? xo @hardly-an-escape

Far be it from me to deny anyone of more of these two sweet little whores... (I really really like them and will be back to their unhinged shenanigans after the Bang). More under the cut in the middle because NSFW.

Hob is shocked they make it past the entryway after the door to his flat closes behind them. 

But, let's be clear, the only reason they do is because Dream sees the tapestry that hangs in the library that opens to the left of the foyer.

The room has no windows, bookshelves from floor to high ceilings on all vertical surfaces except for the rectangle of glass that encases the textile art in a climate-controlled space. 

“My God, Hob,” Dream is walking towards it like he is being pulled in by a tractor beam on some spaceship, floating and not of his own volition. “Is this real?”

He comes up behind Dream and wraps his arms around the curator. “Aye,” he rests his chin on a black-clad shoulder, “family heirloom, late 14th century. The story is that one of my ancestors learned tapestry weaving in Paris and brought it back to Kent, taught her children, and their children. Gadling-made work supposedly hung in most castles in southern Britain by the mid-15th century. But this one was kept by the family. Why this particular tapestry over others is lost to time.”

A giant white horse rears up across the silken surface, narrowly avoiding the wolves that attack and weave around its legs. In the forest other beasts watch: owls, foxes, deer, squirrels, songbirds. It is very clearly not a unicorn, which is fascinating because it loses the religious symbolism typical of the period. The sun is setting in the background, making the leaves glow with a burnished copper color. 

“It is exquisite,” Dream whispers, leaning back into Hob. “And explains your preference for the Middle Ages.”

“Got it in one,” Hob chuckles. He pushes his hands up the front of Dream's shirt, presses his palms to the flat of his abdomen and digs his fingertips into the trail of dark hair that runs down the center.

Dream sways into it, going pliant in Hob's embrace. “So what's your desired order of operations, doctor? Far be it from me to choose a schedule that might endanger the lives of others by leaving you short on sleep.” He grabs one of Hob's hands and slides it down into his pants, where his cock is sticky and half-hard already. “Also, I think I have a Christmas present I might request of you.” He presses his arse into Hob's groin with a rolling motion, arching his back and moaning obscenely loud when Hob's fingers find the frenum piercing.

Fucking hell this man is such a perfect whore.

“Oh?” Hob murmurs, far more focused on cataloging every little sound and twitch that different tugs and twists of the piercing bring about. Dream is rock hard again within seconds, practically writhing against him, yet he is also the one stringing sentences together.

“Oh yes,” he rocks forward into Hob's hand then back into his crotch. “I want to ride your face until I come with your tongue buried in my arse, then turn around and ride your cock until I come again.”

Hob shivers and groans and uses his free hand to open Dream's fly so he has the space to fondle his bollocks. “You want that before or after I put on my leathers and ride you?” 

Dream cries out again, a generous spurt of precum ending up on Hob's hand when he tugs and twists the piercing; apparently a touch of pain isn't bad for this little dove. “Oh, after. Then I'll be on your face longer, waiting for my dick to get back into the game.”

“Mmm, then you'll be riding me even longer after that, just like you want, you insatiable slut.” Hob sucks on the side of his neck, digs his teeth in to bring a bruise to bloom. Dream moans and bucks with the hardest presses of teeth. “Like some pain with your pleasure, dove?”

“Only in small doses.” His long arms swing up and behind Hob's head, tugging his mouth back to his neck. “You?”

Hob gets distracted by expanding the hickey so it flows down to the top of Dream's shoulder. “Not my jam, but I am more than happy to do just about anything that turns my partner on.”

Dream laughs, breathless and happy-sounding, “No wonder you get typecast as a service top.”

Frustrated with the obstacle, Hob pulls Dream's shirt off, flings it somewhere to the side, then continues to paint the skin of his shoulder red and purple with his teeth. “And does everyone assume you're the twinky bottom?” He strokes Dream's cock slowly and grinds his own arousal into that pert little arse.

A gasp interrupts Dream's continued laughing as he grinds back, so much harder than before. “I love surprising people. Upending their expectations. Watching them lose their minds as I expertly take them apart, piece by piece.”

“Expertly?” He can't help but ask.

“What do they say, ten thousand hours to master a skill?” Dream sounds like such a smug little shit and Hob is beyond feral about it.

He moves one hand up to play with the hair on Dream’s chest, to tweak a nipple and hear that lovely little gasp again. “And how much practice have you had, sweet thing?”

“You sure you want the honest answer to that?” He can hear Dream's raised eyebrow.

“Go ahead. Shock me.”

“I stopped counting at one hundred seventy nine different partners.” 

Hob freezes, a whine oozing out through his teeth. Bloody fuck. 

“Hob?”

“Yeah, give me a sec. If I don't dissociate for a minute I am gonna come in my pants because Christ that is hot. Also explains a lot. My God, how many of those were multiples at once?”

Dream's laugh this time is a deep, sensuous rumble. “Not as many as you might think. And I’ve only been gang banged once.” He turns in Hob's arms, dislodging Hob's hand from his prick and leaning in to speak against Hob's lips, “But that was a long time ago. Now I am more interested in exploring how many different sensations I can have with one partner.”

“Oh, so you plan on going full fluid bond with me, do you?”

The blush on Dream’s face is a gorgeous, deep rose red. “I…” he looks down and away for only a moment and then holds his chin up high, proud and perfect, “yes.”

[littlebitsalt]

Can you make yandere boyfriend x gn reader? Like they both in relationship but as As time goes by, the reader feels that their relationship is boring because they think their partner is someone foolish always depend his life on reader, and someone who only try to impress them, in conclusion reader actually doesnt enjoy their relationship probably more like one-sided love? Reader felt only him that the one who try build the relationship (if you know what i mean) and reader trying to break up with him without make him offended (the rest its up to you)

Yandere boyfriend x reader

summary: You get tired of your boyfriend.

note: a lot of buildup,, and there are stuff at the end that might not be for everyone!!(death threats etc)

You were going through a rough patch when you first met him. At that time, you already graduated university a year ago studying something you were definitely not interested in, and spent most of your time struggling to become a civil servant.  You weren't much of a passionate person, and you had no means to achieve a higher position at work, so a civil servant who lives thin but short was the perfect option.

Everyday after your part time job you went to a small private study hall and sat on your favorite seat, secluded from sight. You got a one month pass every first day of the month and studied. There was a guy working at the counter, studying himself. You only talked to him when you payed for the montly pass. He looked like a decent guy, you thought. 

It all started when a drink with a note was on your desk. You thought writing love letters to someone in a library or a study hall was something you can see in memes with cringey quotes on the letter. You picked up the note and read it. 

Neat handwriting was on the small piece of paper. 

'I noticed you studying everyday, and I just wanted to ask if you have time tomorrow?'

The note was simple. But there was no clue of who wrote this note. You didn't know who wrote you a note, but you knew this person was either clumsy or wanted to be your secret admirer.

You studied for hours and prepared to leave like any other day. You noticed the guy working at the counter approaching you, clearly having something to say.

"Hello... um... I'm the one who gave you the note and drink..."

He mumbled, not making eye contact.

"Oh... um..."

"Do you have time tomorrow? We can eat dinner together..."

He said, his hand scratching his neck.

You accepted his offer without much thought, because why not. You needed something to distract you from studying all day long, and I date sounded like something you can count on.

Or.. you just liked how he looked. 

The following story was normal like any couple would. You ate dinner at a restaurant with that guy. You ate pasta if you remember right. You asked him about himself, and decided that you wanted to date him. 

He eventually told you that he spotted you a year ago when he was also studying at the same study hall, which he now works for (a part time job). He was studying for a exam a year ago, just like you, to get into a better university. 

He went to the same university you graduated. He also told you he wanted to talk to you, but only kept his feelings to himself for the months. After he got into the university he wanted, he decided to go for it.

You studied for your own exam coming up a few months later, and walked around town with him at dinner time.

Months passed after the guy at the counter became your boyfriend. He occasionally studied with you, busy comprehending what he learned in university. 

Everything went smootly for the first few months, while getting to know him better. Having someone in your life made your everyday life much more meaning. You felt yourself changing slightly everyday, just to go walking with him on your spare time.

Your rough road ended when you finally passed the civil servant exam after working hard for it for years. Now you had a job, and you had a boyfriend who likes you so much. You also had time to look around the world.

Now that you think about it, having so much to do and having so much chance enjoying doing something else may have drived you to getting tired of your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend didn't change much at first, but when you and your boyfriend started to go to each other's places almost everyday, he changed in a more... tiring way.

There was nothing that extreme, but there was definitely something tiresome.

"What are you thinking about? I want to know."

Your boyfriend asked, while eating dinner at your house.

"Uhh.. nothing."

"I was thinking about going on a trip. Just the two of us. How does that sound?"

He asked.

"That's sounds good. You have graduation soon, right? We can go after your graduation."

You answered as you looked at him searching through his phone.

"What are you looking for on your phone?"

"To send you the details about the graduation ceremony."

"There's going to plenty of people there like.. your family and friends, so I'm kind of uncomfortable, don't get me wrong, i.. uh.."

You can see that your boyfriend didn't expect your response.

"My mom is the only person who's going to be there. Please? I know it might be a little uncomfortable, but I really want you to be there."

"Alright. Send me the details. I'll be there."

The university auditorium was crowded with people. You were standing at the bery back of the auditorium since you were late to the ceremony, and there was no room at the front. You watched the ceremony, trying to spot your boyfriend. 

After several speeches and celebrations, the ceremony ended. Luckily you found your boyfriend immediately as people went out of the auditorium.

"I thought you didn't come."

He said, leading you out of the auditorium.

"I missed the bus so I had to take a taxi. So.. where is your mother? Is she here?"

"I think she's somewhere else."

"Somewhere else? What do you mean?"

"He's here for my brother, not me. Does that make it clear..?"

He said, looking around to catch a glimpse of his brother. 

You never heard of his brother before. Or of his family.

"She's your mother too. Why don't you go see her?"

You said, still confused.

"Hey-"

You saw a guy waving at your boyfriend. His hair was long enough to cover half of his neck , and he had a smile on his face. That's his brother, you thought.

Your boyfriend's brother was nothing like your boyfriend. He was the exact opposite.There was also a little girl about 6 years old and a woman holding the girl's hand beside him, talking to themselves.

You turned to your boyfriend, who was taking a step back.

"I didn't expect that-"

You said jokingly. But you could see your boyfriend's face was not looking good. 

"Hi... "

Your boyfriend greeted them with a uncomfortable look on his face. His mother looked at you with a calm face, and the little girl hid behind her. You were standing there awkward too, not knowing what to do. Your boyfriend looked uneasy around them for some reason.

"Who's that beside you?"

His brother asked.

"I'm dating (name)."

"Oh, ok. You got a good looking partner. Want to join us for lunch? My sister wanted to eat at a restaurant."

"No thanks, the three of you can go."

"Ok then."

You walked out of the university, your boyfriend beside you. There was an awkward silence between you and your boyfriend, and you wanted it to break.

"That's your brother? And.. the little girl is your sister?"

You asked.

"Yes. They are."

He replied with a dry tone.

You were fighting between asking your boyfriend about his family and why he is uncomfortable with them or just keeping your mouth shut. You decided to keep your mouth silent. There may be a reason why he answered vaguely at the first place. You might as well let him be.

"Did you like him? My brother?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... no, just forget it."

"Huh?"

After meeting your boyfriend's brother, your boyfriend acted a bit different. Your boyfriend visited your place more often, even everyday, even when you wanted some time by yourself. You did not know why he was doing this, but you knew you were getting tired.

"Don't you think you're visiting my place too much sometimes?"

You said, while watching a movie with your boyfriend.

"Why? I just wanted to spend more time with you."

Your boyfriend got closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

"You know I don't like being alone. Plus, I can't manage myself alone..."

You agreed with the 'can't manage myself' part. Your boyfriend had a clumsy side to him, especially when you were with him alone. You didn't think of him as someone you need to take care of when you first saw him at the study hall. He seemed to be a stoic person, and he still is, but whenever you were with him, he made minor mistakes that you took care of. 

And you knew he liked it when you cared for him. You enjoyed it too at first.

"Oh, don't say that. You're fine off alone. I'm not here tomorrow anyways. I'm meeting a friend tomorrow."

Your boyfriend lifted his head from your shoulder and looked at you.

"You mean your friend from highschool?"

"Yes some of my friends from highschool."

"... ok then."

He went back to watching the movie without much response. You were relieved by his reaction. 

You sent your boyfriend back to his house and went to a cafe your friend runs. It's been a while since you met them, and you got a bit excited. You arrived at the cafe early, and noticed your friend giving instructions to a student who seems to be working here.

"You're here early. If you take a seat somewhere, I'll join you soon after I tell the newcomer what to do."

Your friend greeted you.

"Thanks."

You sat on the corner of the cafe, watching your phone until your others friends arrive.

"You were at the graduation, right?"

You heard a familiar voice and looked up.

".. oh,"

"I didn't know you go to cafes. You don't look like one."

He smiled as he took a seat in front of you without any hesitation.

"I'm here to meet my friends."

He looked around to see if anyone was around.

"My brother and I don't look alike, don't you think?"

"..?"

Why would he ask that.. out of nowhere? 

"We're not actually blood related. My little sister and I are."

He said, trying to continue the conversation.

"Oh, okay.."

He looked at your face too long. You looked far away without focus to avoid looking directly at his face.

"My boyfriend seemed distant at the graduation.. uh.. um.."

"He was always distant."

"Huh?"

"He never warmed up to the family. My mother married his father when I was 16, and your boyfriend was 17. My mother had my sister two years later."

"Oh.. ok."

"He never talked to the family properly for some reason. He ignored my sister all the time when we were both in highschool."

He talked in a dark tone and sighed.

"Can you tell my brother that he should talk to the family properly? You can give me your number and I'll give you more details."

He handed you his phone for you to enter your phone number.

"Uh.. I'll have to think about talking to my boyfriend though."

You were hesitant but put your phone number to his contacts.

"I'll talk to you later."

Your boyfriend's brother left as your friends walked into the cafe. Your friends all got a glimpse of him when he left and immediately asked questions.

"Who's that? Is that your boyfriend you've been talking about?"

"No, uh.. he's my boyfriend's brother."

"Well he's hot."

--

You noticed your boyfriend waiting outside of your apartment. He was looking around, very anxious. You walked towards him.

"I didn't know you were here."

You said, opening the door to the apartment building.

"... I was wondering if we could spend some time."

"Ok, but I don't think I'll stay up late. I'm tired."

You and your boyfriend took an elevator and arrived at your place. You opened the door with a key and led your boyfriend inside. 

You changed into comfortable clothes and sat on the sofa. You thought about the encounter with your boyfriend's brother. He seemed alright, a cheerful, energetic guy worried about his family. 

You still couldn't decide. Was it right to interfere with a family problem when you know nothing?

"What are you thinking about?"

Your boyfriend asked, sitting next to you.

"It's nothing."

You replied. You didn't want to tell your boyfriend that you talked to his brother. Not yet.

"I know there's something going on in your mind."

"Maybe your assumption is wrong. I'm just tired. Let's go to bed."

You lay down on the bed, beside your boyfriend. Your boyfriend drifted off to sleep right after, but you couldn't. You picked up your phone and scrolled down social media without any particular reason. 

You checked your unread messages to see if you missed any and find an account(that you didn't know) messaged you. You checked the profile to see who it is and quickly found out it was your boyfriend's brother, who contacted you after he got your number.

'I found your social media account on my accounts you may know list. Do you mind if we talk? I want to talk more about my brother.'

The message was sent about half an hour ago.

You replied with a simple ok and waited for his answer.

Your thought if your boyfriend can restore his relationship with his family, he would be visiting your home less, and spend some time with his family. Then you can have some time by yourself. Your boyfriend's brother may have a solution, and if your boyfriend gets a healthy relationship with his family, he'll be less dependent...?

'Can we meet? It'll be better if we talk face to face.'

'When?'

'You can decide. I'm available any time at the moment.'

'Then let's meet tomorrow at 12. I have a lunch break, so we can talk for some time. We can meet at the restaurant nearby my workplace'

'Alright.'

After the conversation ended, you charged your phone and closed your eyes.

-

You saw him walking towards to where you were standing. He was a few minutes late, but you didn't mind.

"So.. uh.. should we go to a cafe, or should we just talk here?"

You asked. It was awkward talking your boyfriend's brother when their relationship was estranged. No, their relationship might've been non existent in the first place.

"Let's go to a cafe near here. I know a place."

"Okay. You can lead the way."

You looked at his face from time to time while walking to the cafe. 

You could see why your friend said he was good looking without hesitation. He was the type of person who would catch everyone's eye.

"So... what do you have to say about my boyfriend..?"

You asked. 

He took a deep breath and started talking.

"Did you consider talking to my brother about me.. or his family?"

"Uh.. I didn't tell him yet."

"He distanced himself from me and my mother when my mother remarried his father. I'm a year younger than him, and we were in highschool at that time."

"Oh ok... He might've been stressed from things happening, I was stressed when I was in highschool too so.."

You said, looking away from the man in front of you. 

"Yeah, maybe, but he didn't even treat us like proper family. We tried, but I guess he didn't want to talk to us."

".. um.."

"I know this might be too much.. but my mother and.. father really wants to talk to him. And he won't answer our calls."

"Was there something that.. could've upset him?"

Your boyfriend's brother made a confused face at your question. He wasn't expecting that question, you guess.

"No, not really. He went out to live alone when he graduated highschool."

.. and he hated my sister so much too.. I don't know why still. I just want to sort things out by talking to him."

He said, looking down.

"... oh... I'll talk to him then. Your family wants to reach out to him so..."

You said, hesitantly.

Your boyfriend's brother looked up at you, smiling brightly.

"Thanks, I really am.."

His hand brushed yours as he thanked you. 

You went out of the cafe after some time and walked back to work. 

Your mind was full of how to tell your boyfriend about the situation without him getting upset. His brother really seemed genuine. 

"Hey-"

You lightly touched your boyfriend behind his back. He looked back, grabbing your arm.

"Where have you been..."

"Just shopping some groceries."

You scanned his outfit.

"Do you like these kinds of clothing? I've never seen these before."

Your boyfriend was wearing a different style, more colorful, cheerful and light. He always wore dark and moody clothes, so you were quite amused.

"I wanted to try something new... do you like it?"

He asked, holding onto your hand.

"Well uh.. it does fit you."

Your boyfriend smiled at your comment.

You walked with him to his room, stirring up the courage to talk about his brother.

"I need to tell you something."

You said.

Your boyfriend looked at you, ready to listen.

"I... uh met your brother the other day, and he wanted to talk to you. He said your family wants to reach out..."

You finally said it. 

"..."

To your suprise, your boyfriend's smile crumbled immediately. He grabbed onto your hand harder as he processed what you've just said.

"You met him? When...?"

"... your brother wanted to talk to me about you. He wanted to amend things with you so much."

You said. 

"..."

"You ok..?"

"Why did you meet him in person?? Do you like him?"

He said, his voice getting sharper every second.

"No, no I just wanted to.."

"Do you want me to go away? Talk to my failyso you can spend time someone else....?"

"... no, it's not like that."

You didn't expect him to react like this.

"..."

An awkward silence went by.

"I won't talk about this... again.."

You said, breaking the silence.

Your boyfriend tried to respond, but kept being silent instead.

You did not expect him to be upset like that. Or maybe you should've expected it coming. 

You walked beside him, keeping a bit of distance. 

--

"You should keep some distance with him."

Your friend said, preparing coffee for you.

"I don't know... he hates when I say that."

Your friend sat beside you, giving you the coffee. You took a sip, thinking about your boyfriend.

"Why don't you join my barista class this Saturday at 5?"

Your friend offered.

"Barista class?"

"Yeah, without your boyfriend. You'll get some time relaxing."

You accepted the offer, thanking your friend.

On Saturday, you left your house at half past four to visit your friend's cafe. You put on earphones and played the song that matched your mood. Until you got a call from your boyfriend.

"Hello?"

You answered the phone.

".. c.. can you come over, just for a minute...?"

Your boyfriend responded with a weak voice.

"Are you okay?"

You could hear him coughing through the phone.

"I'm sick...."

"Oh, uh... why?"

"I don't know.. A cold I think. I serious one. Can you please come over...?"

He pleaded.

"I have a barista class today... you sure it won't take long?"

"Yes-! Please come over."

".. alright then."

You ended the call and headed to your boyfriends apartment. 

You opened the door to his apartment room to see your boyfriend right behind it.

"You came..!"

Your boyfriend hugged you tightly.

You push his body away from you slightly, looking at him to see how much he's sick.

"So... do you need anything?"

You asked. 

"Can you stay...?"

Your boyfriend said, his head looking down.

"... are you even sick?"

You look at him again. He seemed fine.

"... I am-"

"You look fine."

You frowned at the thought of your boyfriend lying you just so he can spend more time with you. 

"No, no I'm not.."

He sais. His eyes couldn't find a place to look.

Why would you lie to me like that?"

You asked in a irritated voice.

"have class today."

"..."

"... I'll come back after class. I need to go now. I'm late."

You pushed your boyfriend who desperately wanted to follow you inside his room. Then you ran to your friend's cafe, hoping that you'll be on time.

"I'm here-!"

You said as you opened the door to your friend's cafe. 

"I didn't expect to see you here."

A familiar voice greeted you. It was him. You boyfriend's brother was trying out different recipes in the cafe. 

You walked over to him, sitting next to him.

"It didn't work out. I don't think I can help you anymore."

You said, putting your bag on the floor.

"Oh, that's.. okay. He'll warm up when the time's right. I'll try again."

You focused on the class, trying to forget about your boyfriend. You couldn't understand why he was acting like that. He wasn't like this when you first met him. He was pretty calm and reserved. Now when you look at him, he looks like he's anxious.

"Is something wrong?"

Your friend asked. The lesson ended, and the only ones left wereyour boyfriend's brother, your friend and you.

"... well actually.. I don't know if I want to be with him anymore."

You said. 

"Woah. Really?"

"... I don't know actually. He lied to me just so I can visit him."

"That's.. Um.."

"I just get so stressed when I'm with him..."

You packed your bag and put the coffee and dessert you made inside it.

"Why don't you just break up with him?"

Your friend said.

"Huh?"

"I mean.. if you're so tired of him.. why would you stay with him? Just to make him feel better?"

"..."

"I think finding some else is better for him too."

Your friend said in a stern voice.

"... you're right."

You murmured.

You knew you're getting tired of him every moment you're with him. But you couldn't bring yourself to say that you didn't want him boldly.

"But.. I don't want to blurt it out to him...? You know? I want to tell him as nicely as possible."

"You can tell him.. that you think you and him don't get along well and you want some space. He'll understand at some point."

You nod at your friend's advice.

You walked out of the cafe, memorizing what to say to your boyfriend.

"Can I join you?"

Your boyfriend's brother was standing in front you.

"I think you're going this way, right? I have to go this way too, so I figured it'll be less boring if I have someone to talk to."

"Oh, okay."

You walked beside him, walking fast.

"Sorry for eavesdropping, but are you actually going to .. break up?"

He asked.

"Oh- I guess..."

"That's good. He can be overreacting sometimes."

"...?"

"If you're going to break up with him soon, why don't you see a show with me tomorrow? My friend told me he couldn't, so I need someone."

"I'll.. think about it."

"Okay then. Tell me if you can."

He disappeared into the crowd of people while you walked over to your boyfriend's place. This is the time to end things without anyone getting hurt.

You open the door to your boyfriend's room. You took a deep breath and walked towards him.

"... Are you okay? Are you feeling any better?"

You asked.

"No.."

".. I have to tell you something. It's important."

"Do you believe anything he say?"

Your boyfriend asked. You were taken aback.

"W.. what do you mean?"

".. I followed you for some time. I saw you with my brother. It's all because of him, huh?"

You took a step back.

"... I think we need some time...to think about this relationship."

You said as calmly as possible.

"No, we don't- You can't.. you can't leave me like that."

He said, walking closer to you.

"What do you mean I can leave you like that."

"Do you really listen to what your friend says? And.. do you really believe my brother?"

"It's not like that- you're acting too clingy lately.. I just want some time alone."

"..."

"I'm going home."

You walked to the door, and tried to open it, but your boyfriend blocked you from walking out of his apartment.

"Don't leave."

"Hey- stop blocking the way."

You said sternly.

"If you leave.. I might die."

"Are you threatening me?"

He grabbed your arm and dragged you back to his room.

"I'll never let go of you, after all we've been through. If you leave, don't expect me to do nothing."

"That's nonsense."

"Nonsense...?" 

Your boyfriend walked over to the kitchen and searched for a knife.

"What are you doing???"

He ignore you and picked up a knife, holding it hard.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"Drop that-"

You took a step back, slowly getting away from him.

"I'll just use this knife on your friend, and him that planned all this shit. Then I'll die too."

He said, his eyes filled with resentment.

"I don't know what you're talking about... just put the knife down and we can talk about this."

"So you can find a way to escape?"

"No, no-"

You were shivering. 

"If you say you're going to stay with me, I'll drop the knife for now."

He said, looking at you.

"... r.. really?"

He put the knife on the table and held your hand.

"Let's live together from now on. And you'll spend time with me all day."

You saw your boyfriend's smile.

It was creepy.. It gave you chills.

You nodded. 

"Okay.."

[yancherrysoda]

Ephemeral Emancipation

This takes place one year after the events of Wind God. I had planned to write about what happens a month later and then six months later, but I'm currently out of ideas for those parts.

I'm not sure if sharing this was a good idea, considering that there are two more parts that come before it that I haven't written yet. This might confuse the readers. However, I really enjoyed writing it since I have an inclination towards violent scenes, and since I won't be writing anything very soon, I decided to post it anyway.

Warnings: decapitation, slashes being inflicted on a person

Word count: 5.246

''I would like to leave this place.''

Venti almost choked on the apple he was munching on. "Huh?"

You shifted from one foot to another as you nervously fiddled with the bottom hem of your shorts and repeated yourself, "I want to go out."

He set the half-eaten apple down on the table and leaned back in his chair, studying your face. The wind stirred his dark locks as he pondered your words. "You know I can't let you leave, right?"

You sighed, knowing this conversation won’t be an easy one. "I know, but I just... I miss the outside world so much. The endless blue skies, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the sound of birds chirping, and the fresh air."

Venti raised an eyebrow and asked, "How is the air outside any different from the air in here?"

You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to express how you felt. "It's not just about the air; it's about freedom, you know, the thing that you're supposed to represent." You crossed your arms over your chest. "It's about living, rather than just existing."

He brought his fingers up to his chin, contemplating your words. ''I tried my best to make you feel happy in here,'' he said. ''Wasn't that enough?''

As you thought back on the various moments you two had spent together, memories flooded your mind, including the times you had danced under the stars or sat on the swing while he tried to teach you how to play the lyre.

"You don't get it," you said, stepping forward and looking into his eyes. "Maybe this may be enough for you since you don't have the same perception of time as I do—being immortal and all that—but for me, it feels like I'm stuck in a never-ending loop."

You knew that discussing this topic with Venti required a different approach if you wanted to get through to him.

Your thoughts returned to the countless hours you'd spent poring over the books in Lisa's library; pages of Old Mondstadt unfurled like scrolls in front of your eyes, as if presenting you with a plan.

''You know, I've been curious about your past,'' you began, trying to pique Venti's interest. ''I've read stories about Old Mondstadt, but I always wondered what the experience of the people that lived there was like.''

That was true. Being from Mondstadt, you were curious about your city's history and how it evolved over time, but you never knew that the way you would get to briefly experience it was thanks to the situation you found yourself in about a year ago.

Venti's eyes narrowed slightly, the wind rustling his viridian attire. "How come you're suddenly interested in that? You could have asked me about my past a long time ago."

''But a long time ago you wouldn't have let me out!''

''What makes you think I would now?''

You crossed your arms behind your back and looked to the side. "Because I behaved well and followed your rules. I've proven that I can be trusted, didn't I?" you looked back at him. "I thought maybe you could walk me around while you explain its history to me. It would be a nice chance for me to learn more about you and experience the real world once again at the same time."

He sat up straight in his chair, considering your request. "Well, I suppose that could be arranged," he responded. "But only if you promise not to do anything stupid like last time. I'll be keeping a close eye on you."

You nodded eagerly.

He approached you and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you closer to him as a golden mist enveloped you both. You now found yourself standing on a cobblestone path surrounded by stone arches. You inhaled deeply, taking in the crisp, fresh air.

''Is the air different?'' he laughed.

''It's fresher,'' you said simply.

''Oh, come on.''

You looked around. "Well then, tell me something about this place. Since you've been here during its downfall centuries ago, I expect a tour in great detail."

He crossed his arms and looked down at the cobblestones beneath his feet, then at you. "This area was ruled by Decarabian, the God of Storms, who thought he protected the city and its people from the harsh winds that would sweep through," he began. "Back then, the entire Mondstadt region was known for being covered in snow and ice, which made it a difficult place to live in. Decarabian used his powers to form a wind barrier around Old Mondstadt, shielding it from the elements and creating what he thought was a haven for its inhabitants.'' He paused for a moment. ''However, as time passed, people began to realize that they were living in a false sense of security. The wind barrier became a prison, trapping them within its walls and preventing any contact with anything that was on the other side of it," he continued as you both walked along the path.

You hopped onto a fallen pillar, trying to balance yourself. "Reminds me of a certain someone."

Venti chuckled and looked up at you. "Unlike Decarabian, I don't create barriers to, quote on quote, protect people."

"But you decided to kidnap a person and strip them of freedom," you interjected, raising an eyebrow at him.

He sighed, "Do you want to listen to what I have to say or should we go back?"

"Fine, fine," you said, hopping off the pillar and gesturing for him to continue.

-

As you continued walking through the ancient streets of Old Mondstadt, Venti pointed out various landmarks and shared stories of the city's past. He also mentioned the grand tower that is still standing at the heart of the city, where Decarabian would reside.

You listened intently as he spoke, genuinely captivated by the tales of old.

He explained that after centuries of ruling, Decarabian’s people began to question his authority and the validity of his so-called protection. They desired freedom and the ability to explore beyond the confines of the city. Their discontent eventually grew into a rebellion led by a group of individuals who sought to end his reign and free the city from his control—Venti among them.

''Everyone fought against his oppressive rule, even his partner. The rebellion was successful, and Decarabian was overthrown, giving the people of Old Mondstadt the freedom they had longed for,'' he spoke.

"He had a partner?" You raised your eyebrows in surprise. "Did he kidnap her too?"

''...No, and yes, Decarabian had a partner—a mortal who had been by his side through his reign—and who then saw the injustice he had inflicted upon their people. She couldn't bear to stand by his side any longer, and so she joined the rebellion.''

You drew circles on the dirt with your foot, pondering Venti's words, "And how did you become the Anemo Archon?"

''The individuals who led the rebellion were his partner, Amos, a young boy, and me." Venti's gaze turned sorrowful. ''They both perished, leaving me and Andrius—who also fought against Decarabian and who is now one of the Four Winds—as candidates for the position of the new Anemo Archon,'' he paused. ''Andrius was chosen, but he declined the offer, feeling that he was not suited for such a role. He believed that he was unworthy of this position due to his perceived lack of love for humanity that an Archon ought to have, and so the responsibility fell upon me. I accepted the role, not because I believed myself to be the most qualified,'' he said, lifting up a finger. ''But because I believed in freedom and the goodness of humanity, and once I became the Anemo Archon, I vowed to never repeat Decarabian's mistakes and to protect my people. I reshaped the terrain and changed Mondstadt's climate to its current state and then moved everyone to what is now the current City of Freedom,'' he concluded.

You exhaled heavily as the weight of Venti's words settled in your chest. ''What a journey that must have been.''

"What a journey indeed," he replied, a hint of weariness in his eyes. "I'm glad you didn't get to experience such an event."

Both of you came to a halt, taking in the view of the abandoned city.

''You said you took the form of a human, what did you look like before?''

''Ah, before I took the form of a human, I was just a tiny being who lived in the wind. I had no physical form but rather existed as a manifestation of the wind itself,'' he explained with a smile.

"So now you're, what, human-shaped air?" you asked, trying to wrap your head around the concept.

Venti laughed at your question. "That's an interesting way of describing it! I suppose you could say that.''

You simply nodded and resumed your walking.

You spotted a small opening in the rockface—a split in the wall just wide enough to squeeze through it—from which you could see the light shining out. A flicker of doubt crossed your mind, but you needed to take the chance, so you grabbed his hand and started walking towards it, leaving him no time for reaction.

"I don't think we should go there," he voiced, but you kept dragging him.

"It's alright; I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid, didn't I?"

"Is this your idea of not stupid?"

‘’Just for a while, there’s nothing wrong with that. Besides, you're still keeping an eye on me.’’

As you made your way through the narrow opening, the sharp edges scraped against your skin, causing slight discomfort. Venti followed closely behind, his grip on your hand tight.

Finally, you emerged from the darkness and onto a long and wide road amidst tall boulders. The sky overhead was clear blue with puffy white clouds, and the sound of wind around you was but a low hum. The birds soared over the trees and chirped out a song, unlike the melancholic silence of the abandoned city you had just left behind.

You let go of his hand and walked ahead, taking in the beauty of the surroundings. The vibrant swaying grass danced in harmony with the gentle breeze, and although it was pretty similar to what you had in the Serenitea Pot, it somehow felt different.

"Hold on, you're walking too fast!" Venti called out and hurried to catch up to you.

You didn't listen to him; instead, you kept powering forward until you were met with a small beach overlooking a lake that shimmered under the golden rays of the sun. The water stretched out before you like a sparkling mirror, reflecting the hues of the sky and creating a captivating scene.

A gust of wind gently pushed you back onto Venti's chest, causing you to stumble slightly. He grabbed your chin and lifted it up to make you look at him. "I told you not to run off like that."

"Couldn't help it," you shrugged. "What did you expect? I haven't been here in so long."

His hand squeezed your cheeks. "I get it, but please try to stay by my side."

You huffed in annoyance, letting out a loud and long sigh. "Right, I'm supposed to behave, I totally forgot about that."

"Y/N, I'm serious." He was afraid that the two of you would run into someone familiar and that you would take that as an opportunity to run away, so he tried to be cautious.

You wiggled free from his grasp and made your way towards the lake, taking a few steps closer to the water's edge. "You know I most likely won't get to experience being here again, right? You've been very adamant about keeping me confined in that realm, let me at least enjoy this."

He joined you by the shore. "I didn't say you couldn't enjoy this. I just wanted to make sure you were safe."

You snorted, "Safe from who? I don't see anybody else around here other than you."

Looking around, you noticed a wooden boat tethered to a nearby rock and ran up to it, excitedly tugging on the rope to set it free. Venti trailed close behind, a worried expression on his face. "What are you doing?"

You threw the rope to the side and turned to face him. "I want to go on a boat ride, we don't have that luxury in the realm. We won't go far, just a short trip around the lake. Does that sound good, or are you going to baby me again?"

You both then pushed the boat into the water. He reached out to take your hand in his, helping you lift one leg over the side of the boat and then the other. As you settled into the boat, you saw Venti take his place beside you, a small smile playing on his lips.

The boat gently rocked as it sailed across the still surface of the lake, and the sound of the water lapping against the hull gave you a sense of peace that you hadn't felt in a long time.

You felt a sense of liberation wash over you as the boat moved further away from the shore. The wind tossed through your hair, and the warm sun kissed your skin. You closed your eyes and let out a contented sigh, savoring every moment of this brief taste of freedom.

You leaned over the side of the boat and ran your fingers through the cold water. The fish swam lazily beneath the surface, their scales glistening in the sunlight and creating a vibrant display of colors.

Venti watched you with admiration in his eyes. He understood the significance of this moment for you, and despite his reservations, he was captivated by your joy and the way it lit up your face.

The boat continued to drift along the lake, taking you deeper into its embrace. The surrounding landscape was a picturesque panorama of meadows adorned with wildflowers and half-cut mountains in the distance.

Taking a glance at Venti, you saw him look in another direction with a mix of emotions on his face, one of which was predominantly sadness. He wished he could give you more of these moments where you could truly be free, but he also didn't want to risk losing you.

You dipped your hand into the water again and splashed a handful of droplets onto Venti's face, breaking him out of his pensive state.

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be, huh?" he teased, wiping the water off his face with his sleeve.

"Well, I couldn't resist," you replied, splashing some more water in his direction.

"If you're going to play dirty, then I guess I'll have to retaliate," he said, reaching over to splash water back at you.

The boat rocked with your antics, as you two engaged in a water fight, and the tension and sadness that had been lingering in the air vanished, replaced by pure joy and laughter.

You both eventually calmed down, catching your breath and letting the laughter subside. The boat continued its journey across the lake until it arrived on the other side of the shore. You two stepped off drenched but with smiles on your faces.

As you walked on the sand, you talked about everything and nothing at the same time. The conversation flowed effortlessly, as if the water had washed away all the barriers that had been holding you back. While you were talking, you saw a Sunsettia tree a few steps away, its vivid orange fruits hanging from the branches like jewelry. You walked towards it, plucked two of them, and handed one to Venti.

"Here," you said, offering him the Sunsettia fruit.

He took it with a grateful smile. "Thank you. This has been fun, I'm glad I agreed to bring you here."

You smiled back at him. Perhaps thanks to this little adventure, he will let you out more often.

You leaned back against the tree trunk. The soothing rustle of the leaves above provided a calming soundtrack to your conversation.

As the sun began its descent, casting a warm golden glow across the landscape, you felt a gloved hand cover your mouth and push you onto the ground. Looking up, you saw a person wearing a coat and whose face was covered by a mask. You struggled against their grip, but their strength overpowered yours. Panic welled up inside you, and you desperately searched for Venti, only to see that he was apprehended by another masked figure.

The clapping of hands and a voice that sounded like a snake, hissing and ready to strike at any moment, resonated across the air from behind him. ''Well, well, well, what do we have here? A little romantic date interrupted by some unwanted guests?''

You both were lifted from the ground and forced to sit on your knees, hands bound behind your backs. The playful atmosphere had vanished, replaced by a tense and dangerous situation.

Your heart thumped in your chest, and your throat tightened with fear as you looked over your shoulder to see four people standing behind you. You exchanged a quick glance at Venti, who silently tried to reassure you that you would find a way out of this together.

As the voice taunted and threatened, you turned to see a blonde woman in a revealing dress, a cloak draped over her shoulders, and some kind of crown perched on her head.

She approached Venti from behind and grabbed him by the hair, forcing his head back. "You thought you could avoid me, bard?" she sneered, her voice dripping with venom. "No more slipping away, you little rat."

Venti let out a laugh. "What more, O highness, dost thou crave from me? Yet more songs, perchance, to set your spirit free?" he joked.

The woman's grip tightened on Venti's hair, her nails digging into his scalp. "Quit it with the rhymes," she hissed, and her eyes were like flames, scorching everything they touched. "I assure you; this is far from a laughing matter. I already took your Gnosis; maybe I can take something more from you." She let go of his hair and turned to face you.

It looked like Venti had encountered this woman before, and she had some deep-seated vendetta against him.

The masked man who was holding you in place pulled out a dagger and pressed it against your throat, causing you to take a sharp intake of breath. The cold metal glinted ominously in the dying light of the sun, casting a shadow across your face.

Venti shifted uneasily in front of you, his eyes locked on the dagger that threatened your life. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

''Isn't this the mortal you hold so dear? The one you spent countless days serenading with your songs and that you now hold behind lock and key? How selfish of a God of Freedom,'' the woman mocked, ''I must say, I've never seen such devotion from a God before. It's truly touching,'' she gestured towards the person behind you. "But you're no better than your predecessor.''

Venti's body tightened at the sight of the dagger pressing deeper against your skin. He clenched his fists and said, ''I fucking swear, if you do something to her, you will regret it. I spared you many times before, but my patience is wearing thin. I won't hesitate to kill you and your stupid fatui puppets." His voice trembled with a mix of anger and desperation.

The woman laughed coldly, her eyes narrowing with amusement. "Oh, how bold of you to threaten me, Barbatos. But I think you underestimate the lengths I'm willing to go to get what I want."

As he locked eyes with the woman, his demeanor darkened and his speech took on a more serious tone. "Did you forget who you're dealing with, Rosalyne?"

Her eyes widened at the mention of her name, and she slapped him, the sound echoing throughout the tense atmosphere. Venti's head snapped to the side, but he didn't flinch; his defiance only seemed to fuel her anger.

''Is this how you always greet people? By slapping their faces?'' he laughed sarcastically. "You should be more careful with your actions and words, they leave traces.''

She leaned closer to him. "You don't get to mock me, Barbatos. You see, I would like to know what you would do if I were to end your mortal's life right in front of you. Would you still have the audacity to talk to me like that?''

The fatui behind you retracted the blade from your throat only to twist it around his hand and try to stab you, but you never felt it pierce your skin.

At that, a powerful surge of wind swept through the air, and you heard heavy weights fall to the ground. You looked up to your sides just to see a gruesome scene; the heads of the fatui rolling across the ground and leaving a trail of blood in their wake, their lifeless eyes staring back at you. In horror, you quickly closed your eyes and tried to fight the nauseous feeling in your stomach.

Venti stood tall in the midst of the chaos, as the wind whipped around him, carrying the scent of blood.

''I warned you, didn't I? I warned what would happen if you dared to harm her.'' He spoke with a chilling conviction that sent shivers down your spine.

Rosalyne took a few steps back and attempted to channel her elemental powers through her catalyst in a desperate attempt to regain control of the situation. Venti raised his hand, and a whirlwind formed around him before she could utter a single incantation. The wind blew her off her feet, causing her to collide with a nearby wall. As she collided with the hard surface, she let out a strangled cry of pain, and her body crumbled to the ground.

He stood over her, ''I don't think you're familiar with the expression fuck around and find out, are you?''

She attempted to stand, but her body trembled from pain. "I'm from Mondstadt, you wouldn't harm someone from your nation,'' she panted. "Try to kill me, and I'll make sure your precious little—''

Slashes began to appear on her body as if carved by an unseen force, causing her to scream in agony. Venti's wind continued to slice through her with precision, each cut calculated, inflicting pain but avoiding any fatal blows.

As the wind howled around them and the air was thick with tension, carrying the echoes of Rosalyne's screams, his eyes bore into her writhing form. His once playful and carefree demeanor had morphed into something dark and unyielding.

With one last slash, his wind finally ceased, leaving her broken and bloodied on the ground. Her body twitched and convulsed with each ragged breath she took. "Do me a favor and die here, Rosalyne," he said with a frosty tone, his words lacking any warmth or emotion.

As you stared in disbelief, he turned around and began walking towards you. His steps were heavy, each one echoing in the silence until he came to a halt in front of you. His eyes, now devoid of their usual gleam, were hauntingly intense. He knelt down and gently stroked some of your blood-stained hair; it was gentle, contrasting with the brutality he had displayed moments before.

''We're going home,'' he said, and grabbed you by the wrist to pull you up from the ground. The golden mist from before swirled around you both once more, taking you back to the realm.

You now stood at the entryway of the house. Your heart still pounded from the horrifying events that happened during the evening.

Venti looked you up and down. "Take your clothes off and go bathe. There's blood on you,'' he commanded.

You didn't move, your voice shaky as you spoke, "What did you do?"

His eyes met yours. "What did you want me to do?"

''You murdered those people!''

"Would you have rather died?" he yelled. "I protected you!"

''Yes! ...no, I don't know! You're not supposed to protect me by killing other people!'' You managed to say through labored breaths, ''There must have been another way to handle the situation, we could have found a peaceful resolution, or we could have tried to escape...''

As he listened to your words, his gaze hardened, and his jaw clenched tightly. ''Peaceful resolution? With someone like her?''

"I don't know what you did to her to make her hate you so much, but resorting to violence is not an answer!"

''Enough!'' he snapped, ''You will not be leaving again.''

"Venti," his name escaped your lips.

He shivered. This was the first time you pronounced his name since he brought you here. He wanted you to call his name for so long, but not like this.

You lowered your voice, making it gentle and soothing to try and reach him in his hardened state. "Was a single life above those people?"

''Your life is above those people. You don't realize just how important you're to me, Y/N." He tried to come closer to you, but you stepped back.

You didn't want to continue this conversation anymore. It was futile to reason with him.

-

This whole situation was giving you a horrible night. Every time you were close to falling asleep, you'd toss and turn in bed, replaying the events of the evening in your mind. The images of heads rolling on the floor and that woman's horrifying scream as Venti slashed through her kept flashing before your eyes.

You tensed up as you heard the door creak open, your heart racing once more. You watched Venti stumble into your room as he clumsily made his way over to you. He sat on the bed and leaned in close, his lips almost brushing yours and his breath heavy with the scent of dandelion wine.

You backed down, causing him to fall on you and rest his cheek on your collarbone as he sighed heavily. You nudged him to sit up straight, but he groaned and buried his face deeper into your collarbone, both arms tightly wrapped around you, refusing to let go.

"Y/N..." he murmured, his voice muffled against your skin. His shirt was rumpled and unbuttoned, exposing a teal tattoo on his chest. This was the first time you saw his bare skin in such an intimate way and you couldn't help but trace your fingers over the design, admiring the details and the way it seemed to glow under your touch.

While you lay there, fascinated by the intricate tattoo, you felt Venti slowly lift his head from your collarbone and leave a trail of soft kisses down your neck. The feeling of his lips against your skin sent shivers down your spine, and a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks.

"Hey," you said, placing your fisted hand on his chest and lightly pushing him away. "You should go to bed. You're drunk."

Venti looked up at you, his usually vibrant eyes now hazy and clouded with the effects of alcohol. He let out a small chuckle. "I'm in bed."

''Not in yours...''

He hugged you tighter, ''What does it matter?''

You sighed, trying to come up with an excuse, ''It matters because this bed is not big enough for the both of us.'' That was a lie; the bed was large enough for two people, but you felt uneasy about this situation and wanted to create some distance between yourself and Venti.

He resumed giving you neck kisses as one of his hands made its way underneath your shirt, caressing your bare back. ''I love you, haah... I love you a lot,'' he breathed out. ''Give in to me already.''

"Venti, this is getting out of control." You tried to push him away harder, but his other arm wrapped around your waist and held you firmly in place. "You need to get back to your room."

You attempted to wriggle out of his grasp, but his strength was surprisingly strong for someone who seemed to be so intoxicated. The two of you lay there in a tangled mess of limbs.

You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. You couldn't help but think about the complicated relationship you shared with him. He kidnapped you and forced you to stay by his side, yet he never treated you badly; in fact, he had shown you nothing but kindness and affection.

A soft snore escaped his lips, and you turned your head to see him knocked out. You scanned his features, taking in the relaxed expression on his face and the way his chest rose and fell with each breath.

-

You woke up the next morning to soft rays of sunshine filtering through the curtains. As you stretched and yawned, you realized that you were no longer tangled with Venti. You turned your head and saw him still peacefully asleep beside you; his messy hair was spread across the pillow, and he was now covered in a blanket, hiding the teal tattoo that had captivated you the night before. You carefully removed your side of the blanket and tried to slip out of bed, but as you did, Venti stirred and his eyes fluttered open. He groaned and rubbed them, looking at you with confusion.

"What am I doing here?" he mumbled, his voice rough and low.

"You came home drunk last night and made your way into my bed," you replied, trying to hide the lingering warmth on your cheeks.

As he propped himself up on his elbows, his expression changed from confusion to realization. He took in the familiar surroundings of your bedroom as he looked around. He then glanced down and saw that his shirt was still on, albeit slightly wrinkled and unbuttoned halfway, causing it to fall loosely off his shoulders.

''Nothing happened,'' you quickly added, hoping he wouldn't misinterpret the situation.

He watched you walk up to the dresser, grab a brush, and run it through your hair while you tried not to look at him. He leaned back against the pillow, one arm behind his head as his hand absentmindedly ran through his messy hair.

''Venti,'' you turned to him, ''The state you were in last night was because of—''

''The fatui,'' he interrupted. ''I made you uncomfortable. I made you fear me,'' he said, looking up at the ceiling. ''I don't want you to see me as a monster, Y/N.''

You didn't say anything, instead, you kept brushing your hair.

''I'm sorry. I can't make it up to you with words alone, but," he paused for a second, "I don't want to lose you. I sacrificed so much in my life. I said goodbye to so many people." His voice faded away, losing its strength and volume. "If I had someone to pray to, I would ask them to let me keep at least one person by my side, just one is enough."

He got out of bed and walked over to you, taking your hands in his and looking you in the eyes. He brought them up to his lips and gently kissed your fingers. "You're everything I have."

[irelandking]

avenger bucky x regular reader fic recs

bucky barnes x reader

❤️ = fluff 😔 = angst 🔥 = smut

one shots:

hold my girl - @pellucid-constellations

Bucky comes home from a mission and needs time to hold his girl. ❤️

test drive - @cherrypickertheory

Bucky has a breeding kink. 🔥

disney princesses and dog tags - @buckyalpine

single reader mom reader starts dating Bucky doesn't tell him off the bat about kid and he starts getting a little antsy ❤️🔥

princess cut - @viollettes

Bucky sustains an injury because of a punk-ass kid, and you swoop in to do something about it. ❤️

every night - @ijustreallylovezebras

Bucky sneaks out of the compound every night, the team want to know why ❤️

counting - @pellucid-constellations

Time heals all wounds. Bucky’d been holding onto that proverb ever since blip. But time had never been particularly kind to him, so he opted to keep track of the sweet girl’s in his apartment building instead, the one that made him banana bread and took him to diners at two in the morning. Sometimes, you didn’t keep the same schedule. That made Bucky panic. ❤️😔

flowers in the compound - @pellucid-constellations

That girl from the flower shop seems to be taking up a lot of Bucky’s time. ❤️

name - @ijustreallylovezebras

The reader works in the local Starbucks and Bucky comes in almost every day but always orders with a different name ❤️

the safest place in new york - @wkemeup

A stranger comes to your rescue when you find yourself held at knifepoint, alone in an alleyway, by a man demanding your money ❤️

the sound of music - @delicatelyherdreams

Bucky never heard music the way everyone said he should. He never got a song stuck in his head. He never had a soulmate. Until he did. (Soulmate AU) ❤️

perfect for me - @prettyyoungtragedy

When your friends set you up on a blind date, you have no idea what you’re walking into. Is it a total fail or true love? ❤️

story time - @delicatelyherdreams

Bucky is coerced into joining a local library’s story time for veterans. He’s not sure what to expect. ❤️

something tells me - @ugh-supersoldiers

Soulmates are supposed to be a beautiful gift, created so that no one every goes through life without love. Born with an invisible matching marking, a tattoo to signify their bond, that only reveals itself after the two souls touch for the first time. After escaping Hydra, Bucky hopes more than anything that his soulmate died a long time ago, but little does he know you’re right around the corner. ❤️😔

in the name of love - @moonbeambucky

Bucky meets a nurse he thinks is playing hard to get and he’s more than willing to throw himself in the game.❤️😔

sing me to sleep - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Bucky meets a lovely stranger on a commercial flight.❤️

rose - @softlyspector

In a world where soulmates share each other’s scars, oddly enough it’s a tattoo that brings Bucky and the reader together. Soulmate AU ❤️

love in four acts - @buckybarnesowl

You’re a nurse living in Brooklyn. You’ve got a crush on your next door neighbour who doesn’t seem to know you exist. One day his cat finds its way into your apartment, forcing you both to finally meet. That’s when you learn that he’s James Buchanan Barnes, ex-Winter Soldier. Well, there goes your chances. Or maybe getting close to a superhero isn’t as far-fetched as it sounds ❤️😔

three times - @softlyspector

Some people say things differently. Bucky learns how to say I love you. Y/N learns how to hear him say it ❤️

who's she? - @itsapeterthing

 when sam gets injured during a mission and isn’t able to go to a hospital, bucky brings him and natasha to his own home to get cared for by his girlfriend, y/n, who he’s been keeping a secret. ❤️

a little old fashioned - @gogolucky13

 Bucky is a bit subtle in telling you he likes you ❤️

serious questions - @espinosaurusrexex

Bucky agrees to go on a date to make his colleagues shut up. Now, he just feels sorry for the poor woman that has to spend an entire evening with him. He really tries to make it work, though, because he actually enjoys her company. ❤️

a little longer - @buckyalpine

you're bucky's neighbor and he brings you to a cookout with sam as his fake girlfriend ❤️

search history - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you look at each other's search histories ❤️

new year's day - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you and bucky kiss at midnight on new years eve ❤️

history's mysteries - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you listen to a podcast that covers the winter soldier and ask bucky about his past ❤️

good old fashioned lover boy - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you introduce bucky to things he's missed ❤️

earthly possessions - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

bucky moves into readers place and has very few possessions ❤️

dress code - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

you have an ex that used to slut shame you for your outfits, but bucky loves them ❤️

chain round my neck - @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky

bucky gives you a special necklace ❤️

life before you - @world-of-aus

The reader has some form of abandonment issues (she doesn't want to be clingy) and thinks Bucky will leave her or something and he comforts her and there is a kinda fluffy-ness.   Or the reader always says thank you and sorry for everything even things that aren’t her fault and it’s because she had a rough past or dodgy ex or cause she thinks she’s a burden X   Basically I crave fluff X  Thanks in advance x  Lots of love  Xxxxx XXX X  ❤️

gentle - @softlyspector

Bucky and the reader are sharing an intimate moment when he accidentally reveals something to her. Or, Bucky Barnes wants a normal life. ❤️🔥

two pages - @softlyspector

Bucky laughs and curls a finger under her chin, tilting her head up and back. “Lemme take care of you,” he says, blue eyes clear and sparkling, like salt on the sea. 🔥

hint dropped - @rocketrhap3000

while looking at rings online, you accidentally click a “send a hint” feature addressed to Bucky’s email, despite never having that conversation with him and not even knowing whether or not that’s something he wants, but his reaction surprises you :) ❤️

valentine - @softlyspector

You’re Bucky’s neighbor, Bucky is your secret admirer. Valentine’s day and a potential date forces him to act ❤️

teddy bear - @softlyspector

soulmate!au in which when one soulmate loses something, their other half finds it. When Bucky begins finding things that don’t belong to him, he realizes he has a soulmate in the modern world after all. Even though they should be perfectly matched, he struggles to find a reason why he should meet her, and be a part of her life, convincing himself she’s better off without him. ❤️😔

secret relationship and bucky - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

bucky is always disappearing from the compound and everyone figures that it’s bucky being bucky.. but he’s visiting his civilian girlfriend and knows that she’ll be in danger the moment they go public so he doesn’t even tell the team about her.. and their circumstances of meeting could be in the aftermath of some Avengers thing? ❤️😔

nutella - @teamatsumu

Late at night, you turn on the kitchen light to find a stranger bleeding on your floor and eating your Nutella. ❤️

possession - @teamatsumu

On your 25th birthday, for twenty four hours, you are allowed to possess your soulmate; a process called The Possession. As you look at the world from their eyes, you find out everything you can about your soulmate so you can locate them when The Possession is over. But you have a slight problem: you wake up in a cryo freezer. ❤️😔

sounds of heaven - @moonbeambucky

Tired of another night without sleep, Bucky finds an unlikely source for help ❤️

baby - @ugh-supersoldiers

After you spend the night at Bucky’s for the first time, you drop a nickname that turns the ex Winter Soldier into a blushing and stuttering mess. ❤️

saturdays - @sunmoonandeddie

bucky barnes has a new routine ❤️😔

bookmark - @buckyalpine

reader is a romance writer and the other avengers discover her books ❤️🔥

pucker up, buttercup - @witchywithwhiskey

it's been a long day of working at your lemonade stall during the town's busy summer festival and making the day worse is all the unwanted attention and come-ons you've gotten from customers. by the time bucky barnes tries his own tired pickup line, you've had enough—but then he goes and spills a fresh pitcher of lemonade and offers to make a new one. you're reluctant to admit bucky might not be like all those other guys. in fact, he might be someone you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with. sunshine!bucky barnes x grumpy!fem!reader ❤️

gentle - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Y/N has never seen Bucky be anything but gentle and loving. It’s hard for her to believe her boyfriend was ever the world’s deadliest and most lethal assassin. ❤️😔

bad day - @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Y/N has an absolute shit day at work and Bucky tries to make his girl feel better. ❤️