#not IMMORAL like to be clear i don’t mean he’s a **** or a ****** or anything like that. he’s just. a bastard fjskfjsl

[maxdibert]

Pretty messed up how some people are fans of a creepy and obsessive guy who didn’t care if a man and a child died just so he could get the girl.

Alright, let's break this down, anon, because there's a lot to unpack here.

I think I've mentioned this in several posts already, but I'll repeat it: Severus owed James Potter NOTHING—no compassion, no empathy, no mercy. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. James Potter was a rich, popular brat who abused his social and economic capital to torment a poor, unsupported boy for seven years just because he didn't like him from the moment they met on the train to Hogwarts, and from that moment on, he had it in for him. He was a terrible bully who used his friends to join in on that nasty bullying. So if Snape didn’t care that he died, well, Snape had every right to feel that way. Do you go to victims of domestic violence and tell them they should feel sorry for their abusers? No, right? Well, this is the same thing. James was an abuser, Severus was his victim. Severus did more than enough by not telling Voldemort to torture him to death with Cruciatus, because I would have. Honestly, I don't understand why Snaters always bring up the whole "James was dead and Snape walked over his body" as if it were some horrible thing when, hello! You're talking about an ABUSER being dead, mate. Of course, he walked right over his body—what surprises me is that he didn’t throw a party.

Harry had to die. I know this sounds terrible, but it’s basically what the prophecy indicated. He was a target that Voldemort wasn’t going to let slip away, his fate was sealed. And yes, it’s unethical. And yes, it’s immoral. But the truth is that wars are unethical and highly immoral, and horrible, monstrous decisions are often made. Harry was not an option—asking for mercy for him was pointless because there wasn’t going to be any.

I don’t think Severus ever believed that if James was out of the picture, Lily would go to him or anything like that. I mean, they hadn’t spoken for five years—about six by that time. Severus NEVER harassed or stalked Lily. The only time he went after her was when the whole SWM incident happened, and he tried to apologise. Once she made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, Severus respected her decision, and as far as we know from canon, they never interacted again. So, I don’t think, after six years of not talking, with his supposed former best friend having married and had a child with his personal bully, Severus had many expectations of them ending up in any sort of romantic relationship. I think, quite simply, that Lily always represented the only good part of his childhood—the only happy memories, the only moments of peace amidst the hellish violence he endured at home. I believe this was crucial for someone like him, whose childhood and teenage years were marked by violence, and he wasn’t willing to let the one good thing in his life end up murdered.

I agree that Severus is highly obsessive, but haters tend to frame this in a derogatory way, referring to his "obsession" with Lily, and I think it needs some clarification. Yes, Severus is obsessive, and he’s terribly immature at times, and he overreacts enormously when confronted with something that really triggers him (just look at how quickly he loses his temper with Sirius, for instance). This is obviously because he’s someone who never had the opportunity to grow up normally or develop cognitively as he should have, because his whole life was marked by violence. His home life was violent, and at school, he endured violence, and then at 20 years old, he handed his soul over to Dumbledore’s cause and had to work for nearly two decades at a school that was the epicentre of many of his traumas. He literally had neither the spaces nor the environments needed to heal and grow into a functional adult, and you can clearly see this in his behaviour. I’ve always said Severus is more of a diva than the cold, mysterious character people often make him out to be in fanon. To me, he’s someone who, on a personal level, hasn’t been able to grow emotionally in a healthy way and doesn’t know how to manage certain situations, especially those tied to his emotional issues. That said, I also don’t think he was romantically and/or sexually obsessed with Lily. I do think he loved her or was infatuated with her in his youth—first love, crush, whatever. But I don’t believe his need to avenge her death was due to romantic or obsessive love. I think it’s more about his obsession with repaying his debt to her. Severus always felt partially responsible for Lily’s death, and that’s where his obsession lies: it’s not that he’s obsessed with her, per se, but with the fact that he feels guilty for what happened. He feels, in some way, responsible for the death of the one person who showed him kindness, affection, and care during his childhood, which made her the most important person in his life at one point. And guilt often leads to obsession, much like grief that is not properly processed, and I don’t think that kind of obsession is creepy. I think it’s a very human kind of obsession.

Lastly, I don’t find Severus creepy at all. Why is he creepy? I mean, Harry was running around with his invisibility cloak, spying on everyone. The Marauders had A BLOODY MAP that allowed them to track everyone at Hogwarts 24/7 like some kind of magical GPS. Is Severus really the creepy one here? There are literally Animagi who turn into animals to spy on people—I have to laugh at the whole creepy argument.

That being said, if you’re going to come into my DMs to complain about Severus, at least bring some convincing arguments because it’s a bit tiresome hearing the same nonsense over and over again.

[gold-rhine]

Sub! Heizou x GN Dom! Reader

A\N: Repost bc my previous blog got shadowbanned.

Warnings: nsfw, overstim, slight degradation, spanking, leash play, anal sex, cock stands for strap\cock as usual.

Wordcount: 3k

I don’t think there needs to be a lot of analysis to justify Heizou being a sub, it’s fairly intentionally in your face in both hangout and ahem, birthday “yawning” art, because that’s the most most obvious bottom “O-face” since Gorou’s “moaning and tearing up over the bowl of onions” emoji.

Like in two endings he straight up says out loud his confidence is partly a facade and he’d really love for someone else to sometimes step up and take the charge, but no one does bc ppl think he’s too smart.

”Haha, well, as you might see, I’m a little less confident than people might think.”

“And everyone around me thinks I’m so smart that I should be able to handle every case on my own.<...> But you’re different. Unlike them, you don’t have that kind of prejudice towards me. <...> So I’d like you to decide whether we should expose the truth or not.”

He’s not a pushover and he’s not a pillow princess-y type, but he’s also not a brat. He’ll encourage you to take the lead and won’t criticize your choices, but he will *evaluate them*.

First of all, on how well you’re keeping up with his hyperactive ADHD goblin nature, and second, he’ll leave the unspoken puzzle and see if you’ll manage to figure it out.

He’s open for experimentation and fairly shameless, but how far he’ll go pretty much depends on if he judges you competent enough for this.

Like, meeting him in the hangout starts with him openly calling Traveler “so dreamy”, and then he lets the Traveler decide what course of action to take, but only divulges hidden information after the Traveler showed that they have a deeper understanding of a situation and connected several puzzle dots themselves.

His inner conflict is when it’s immoral or not to withhold information and does it depend on how capable a person given this information is. The law does not really factor into this, Heizou will act on his own principles instead.

Like in the hangout case he only tells the Traveler that he will follow their choice (see above) after the Traveler presents him with the evidence and proves they have sound judgment.

So he’d *LIKE* to let someone else make decisions, but he wants to make sure that someone else is qualified. So he won’t like outright lie, but he will withhold context if you don’t show him that you get it.

Then he can get quite clingy, like telling Traveler that he’d love to have them as a partner all the time, haha he’s joking, he wouldn’t want to be so greedy…UNLESS???

In a situation where he does trust the other person’s competence, he likes to feel helpless, overpowered and needy, if you indulge him in it. His ideal situation is where you understand that he’s smart and capable himself and he doesn’t strictly need you to take charge, but would enjoy it.

He wants to have fun without anyone making it too weird, and he wants to know you have a clear head on your shoulders, that’s it.

One day while you’re walking down the street near your home, a group of obvious miscreants runs by and a young man in white shirt and brown shorts follows them. The last of ruffians shoves him while they’re running past you and you catch him to stop him from hitting a corner of a house with his head. When the bandit looks back, you instinctively shield a man in your arms with your shoulder, and the bandit obviously judges it not worth the trouble, runs away.

When you look at the man you’re holding, he’s looking up at you with a wide smile, bright green eyes twinkling.

“Oh, thank you, my savior!”

“I didn’t do anything,” you say, putting him upright. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m fine!” he suddenly pauses, looks you over and says in a weaker tone, leaning into you. “I mean, I’m a little not fine, nothing major, but perhaps if someone could look after me for just a little bit?...”

You take him to get coffee just to keep an eye on him and end up talking for hours. His name is Heizou, he’s flirty, fun and cute, has ruffled mauve hair and little twin moles under his eyes, asks more questions than he’d like to answer about himself, wears a choker and a shirt that leaves his sides bare, and would very obviously love to get dommed from how he talks to you. But you cannot in good conscience take advantage of him now, because his eagerness might be an effect from the shock, so you let him go.

Day later you talk with a neighbor and he mentions how the young detective who from his words meets Heizou’s description just caught a group of pickpockets.

“Detective, huh?” you ask out loud, and some things that didn’t make sense before fall into place. Like an exaggerated weak affect and how eagerly he pushed himself on you.

Couple of days after you walk into a confrontation in one of the secluded courtyards on the way to your home. There’s Heizou and opposite of him a group headed by the large white-haired oni. It looks incredibly awkward and staged.

“Oh, it’s my savior again!” Heizou says coquettishly, smiling at you. “Hello there! It seems you’re just in time to save me once again.”

“From what?” you say calmly, crossing your arms.

“From being mugged, of course.”

“So these guys need to be arrested, huh?”

A tall oni starts shifting nervously, looking back and forth from you to Heizou.

“Hey, hey, we didn’t agree on…”

A green-haired woman elbows him and he stumbles.

“I mean, you can’t arrest us, we’re big bad bandits, rawr!”

You ignore him, looking Heizou straight in the eyes. He pauses for a second, then pretends to be fainting in your direction. You catch him, rolling your eyes. Green-haired woman punches the oni in his side and they run away with the entire group.

“Oh, thank you,” Heizou says, looking artistically disheveled in your arms.

“No problem, Detective,” you say coldly and he tenses, straightens up.

“So you know…”

“Yeah. And I don’t appreciate being played for a fool.”

“Listen, it’s not like that… It’s just that I... I wanted you to treat me like a sub, but you didn’t do anything after we first met, and I thought maybe if you see me in an even weaker state...”

“I didn’t do anything because you seemed too irrational from shock. If you just told me the truth that you’re detective and were fine, you’d be spread on my bed few nights ago.“

He blushes, but his green eyes light up.

“I would? Oh, I mean, I am fine and we cleared the misunderstandings, so?... Um? About spreading?“

You shake your head, narrowing your eyes.

“Only come to me if you’re ready to drop your bullshit. I’m sure you can figure out how to find me, Detective.“

“Hey there!” he’s bouncing on your threshold a day after with the widest obnoxious smile, and you wouldn’t see the tinge of nervousness under it if you weren't paying attention. “So you said I can come if I dropped the bullshit and um, you can pat me over, including cavity search if you want, to make sure I haven’t got any on me”

You roll your eyes, hooking your fingers under his choker, pull him close and kiss him. He stumbles for a second, but then melts, throws his arms around your neck and presses against you. You can feel him getting hard as you pull him towards the bedroom and then throw him roughly onto the bed. He looks up, his green eyes sparkling in delight.

“Cavity search?” you say incredulously, crawling over him to slide your hands under his shirt and pulling off both of his layers. “That was terrible.”

“I know, I know, I panicked,” he moves his arms to help you get the shirt off, then pulls frantically at the ties of the armguards. “I was going to say you have a search warrant, but somehow it turned into a cavity search.”

“You’re lucky you’re so cute,” you grin against his cheek and pull his pants and underwear off in one smooth motion. He gasps, and when you grab his ankles and forcefully spread his legs, he blushes but looks you straight in the eye, already fully hard and breathless in excitement.

“I am? I mean, of course I am, but do tell me more about it.”

You kiss him instead, roam your hands over his slender body, and he arches under you, moans against your mouth. You slide your hand down, close it over hard, twitching cock and he whines, bucks his hips against your palm.

“Oh yeah,” he whispers feverishly. “Yes... Don’t be afraid to treat me rough…”

“Oh trust me, I won’t,” you grope his leaking cock and balls in your hand, firmly like you own them, and he whines sweetly, looking up at you with excitement in half-narrowed eyes. When you slide your hand down and circle his entrance, he comes immediately, pressing himself against you.

You chuckle, kissing him.

“In my defense, I spent some long nights imagining you touching me, so I’m not taking criticisms on how quick I came,“ he mutters, squirming under you, cheeks blushing brightly.

You grin and stand up, moving away.

“Well, you’re not getting away that easily, kitten. I’ll be back shortly.“

When you walk back to the bed, he has finished taking off the last piece of the guard and is waiting for you, naked except for the elbow-high fishnet gloves and a choker.

“I have something that I think you would like,” you smirk, showing him a leash and he gasps, visibly lighting up.

“Have you thought about becoming a detective yourself? That’s spot on.”

“It wasn’t a very hard deduction to make,” you hook your fingers under his choker, lifting him up, and he follows, grinning under the bitten lip. He’s so lovely in how blushing and eager he is while you’re closing the leash on his neck, looking up at you from under the ruffled bangs.

You turn him around, so that he leans against the bedrest and he giggles, settling down on his knees.

“Oh, great, I wasn’t sure how to breach the subject of… consequences of being naughty.”

“You don’t try playing hard to get, do you?” you grin, slide your hand from his intentionally arched back to caress smooth skin of the perky ass, obviously and eagerly presented for you.

“No, why, would you want me to?” he shoots you a sharp glance over the shoulder, analytical even now.

“No,” you say pleasantly and slap his ass, hard. He gasps, shudders, but arches even more, presses quickly reddening, tender flesh harder against your hand. You spread him and run your fingers between his legs.“I like it when you’re being open.”

“I don’t see the point in denying the obvious,” he says, still sounding mostly collected, if a little breathless in excitement. “And if I don’t show what I want, how will I get it?”

You strike his ass again, several times in a row, until it’s blooming red and he’s whining quiet and sweet, then you stroke it.

“Very logical of you,” you say, squeezing his sensitive ass while he’s squirming needily under your hands, and kiss the sharp curve of his shoulder, move his ruffled hair aside and get to his neck. “Unlike the stunt you tried to pull earlier.”

“Oh well, I miscalculated,” he says airly. “And it’s not as if I was trying to deceive you, it’s that I know that once people hear who I am they misjudge… the way I’d want to be treated. So I just wanted to make sure you get the right impression.”

You tug on the leash, pulling him close, his back against your chest. He gasps, arches his back and rubs his ass against you.

“Or you could’ve just said so honestly, you dumbass,” you run your hand over his chest down, close it over his cock and kiss him, still tugging on the leash. He kisses you back, eager and a little sloppy, rocks his hips, rutting against your palm.

“Well, taking your advice on speaking openly,” he whispers breathlessly after breaking a kiss, his eyelashes fluttering against your cheek. “I’m close again and I want to come from you fucking me.”

“Good boy.”

You pull him into your lap, over the strap\cock, and he squirms, straddling your knees. You catch his chin, while he’s lowering himself over onto the head of your cock, make him meet your eyes, his own hazy green, cheeks bright in blush, pink lips half-open and taking short feverish breaths. You put your hands on his hips and push him all the way down until you’re fully buried in him, and he moans, shuddering and arching in your arms.

“Ah! Oh yes, yeah, like that, oh fuck…”

He rides you, his hips moving rhythmically and his hard cock bouncing against his stomach, but when you close your hand over it, he whines, digs his fingers into your shoulders.

“Please, no, I’ll come too soon if you touch me…”

You let him go and chuckle, pepper kisses over his neck, chest, lick over his pink hardened nipple, while he’s whimpering pleas and fucking himself on your cock.

“You’re really such a slut, aren’t you?”

“Yes, fuck, I love it, I love how your cock feels inside of me, please…”

You tug on his leash, making him arch, suck on the tender juncture between his shoulder and neck. He comes just like that, screaming, his movements turning frantic. You push him down on his back, roll over him without taking your cock out.

“Can you take any more, kitten?”

“Yes.. yes, please keep fucking me,” he’s trembling under you, but says this firmly, looks you in the eye without hesitation, his ass clenching around you. “Use me like I’m your toy…”

You lift his legs up, pressing his knees against his chest, exposing his ass and thighs, still pink from spanking. You can see his oversensitive red cock getting hard just from being spread and exposed like that, and when you thrust deeply into him, he screams and tries to lift himself off the bed, writhing under you. You grip his hips and fuck him hard, hitting his prostate, until his mouth is going slack and his eyes roll over, his pleas turn into incoherent moans and whimpers.

You lean down, cock buried deep inside him, kiss the corner of his mouth. He whines, his arms tightening around your shoulders and his hips rolling to take you even deeper.  

“You've been very good, kitten,” you whisper against his parted lips, his green eyes glittering with held tears. “Come for me, baby.”

He comes after a few thrusts, clutching at you, and you fuck him through it until he goes limp. Then you slide out of him, let him curl against you, his chest heaving, trying to catch his breath. You hold him and gently stroke his hair until he stops shivering, giving him time to come to senses before you’ll move to clean up.

“How fast will you want me to leave?” he asks, quietly, but his voice is firm, neutral. “I know I can be annoying in large doses, so if you need me to get out, I can…”

You silence him with a kiss, slow and sweet to calm him down. “It’s okay, kitten, you don’t annoy me. Don’t worry about it, just rest.”

He freezes for a second and then suddenly presses himself desperately against you, clutches at your shoulders. You stroke his hair, neck, sharp knobs of his spine soothingly, whisper sweet nothings in his ear until his body relaxes. He rubs his cheek against your chest and looks up with a cheeky grin.

“I am lucky that I’m cute, huh?”

[raitobie]

While it’s absolutely ableist rhetoric on Light’s behalf and deserves to be criticized anyway, I don’t agree at all with this widespread claim that he explicitly agreed with Mikami about killing “lazy” people. Or even would agree with that at all.

He never says that, and saying and insisting that he does is jumping to a steep conclusion when it’s made clear (and particularly clocked by L) that not only is he very faithful concerning not targeting pettier criminals or just anybody who breaks the law, but that he wants social and political influence. He’s not just punishing criminals and anybody he doesn’t like, he wants enough power to influence change in the public. That’s his problem with Mikami’s targeting in the first place.

He says that he’s gradually killing off “immoral people” and “those who harass others”, which is still alarming of course when he arbitrarily decides what that means. But “lazy” people literally aren’t doing anything. Why would he want to just kill them. Why would they be considered immoral. It’s such an annoying and ironically, lazy take I see too much lol

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

no bc deadass the rescue bots are straight up mean as hell. like, they arent evil or immoral they’re just rude. to the point where they’re meaner than the decepticons ok like megatron kept avoiding actually gettind rid of starscream despite the constant murder attempts but heatwave was willing to get rid of two of the other bots (blades after he abandoned a rescue bc of an avalanche and blurr bc blurr). heatwave is more ruthless than megatron which is so damn funny. blades keeps insulting people for no good reason (sometimes it makes sense but like quickshadow’s accent and how she talks made him so upset). chase is harder to see but he’s willing to do anything to follow the rules and he tends to repeatedly bring up other people’s issues (i dont think i have to explain but like example is little white lies. that whole episode). boulder is very sweet most of the time but the instant heatwave gets in on it he does too. multiple times in the show this has happened (off the top of my head when blades got the scoop claw hw and boulder were laughing at him and when hw made fun of blades boulder laughed, also heatwave was saying blurr was super annoying and boulder agreed).

to be clear this is a good thing. i wanna see more complex characters who are still fundamentally good people!! you can be callous, have low empathy, be egotistical, get angry, make fun of ur friends and still make good choices and still help people. you at your worst and you at your best are still both you, but your worst being bad doesn’t mean your best isn’t good. especially because morality wise the rescue bots are the best people. i mean, they aren’t war criminals (or regular criminals), they don’t physically harm others, they don’t put others at risk (at least not intentionally), and they literally had to pretend to be actual machines while risking their lives every day. these people who treated them as essentially slaves were who they had to protect. and they did it, over and over again, without hesitation. and i think they deserve to be a bit rude for that, and because their meanness comes from caring. if they didn’t care they wouldn’t bother to speak up and be heard, even if it’s in a disrespectful way. but they do.

anyways idk rescue bots brainrot and the concept of a fundamentally good society have been eating away at me.

[siriusslymoony]

My response to Ethan ( P4perback )’s thread.

Disclaimers:

I have spoken with Ethan privately on the matter and he has chosen not to reply to me and settle this. This thread is what I have already spoken to Ethan about, excluding parts that are not for public knowledge.

Even if Ethan had replied, I still would’ve made this thread as I do not want people to misinterpret my silence on the whole situation.

This thread will go in this order: my message, his response, my response, and then the rest of the messages he has not replied to. I was responding along to his stream so any parts that feel repetitive or jumbled up are intentional as that is how it was spoken on Ethan’s stream. I skip over a lot of the repetitive parts, as it is just me saying everything multiple times, and he skirts around the topics.

I have said this already, and I will touch upon it further in the thread, but I have reached out to an (ex)member of the cast and apologised to the whole cast for my part in them speaking about it too soon.

However, I am not sorry for making the thread and I need to make that very clear.

Reminder, my pronouns are it/xin but if you struggle with neopronouns, it/its are safe to use!

This was posted on Twitter earlier today, so if there’s anything that refers to this post as a thread, that is why.

Part 1: Power imbalance

So, the first things I spoke to Ethan about were not related to the stream and were just things to preface before I responded to his response to my thread. I will not elaborate on things that I feel are self-explanatory, but if there are any questions I will be happy to answer. A lot of the things that I would have elaborated on are done so in my responses.

I said:

“Hi Ethan, I want to preface this by saying I did not know that the thread would get as much attention as it did but I will not apologise for that. I understand that I brought it to the internet by posting a thread, however, surely you can see how there is a major power imbalance here. I posted that thread with 500 followers, you have 2.2 million. This isn’t what this message is going to be about but I feel like this is something important to be mentioned. You repeatedly attacked and berated me on your stream which essentially gives those viewers the impression that they can then do the exact same thing to me. In dms and in my comments.”

His response:

“I don’t really understand what you mean by a power imbalance. I understand the numbers, yes, but all I did was correct the damage you’d already caused. Damage that was done without me ever doing anything towards you. It doesn’t matter how big your platform is, this was entirely unwarranted considering that a lot of your points were in fact, factually wrong. Did you expect me to allow misinformation to spread? Because I have a big platform, do I not have the right to set the record straight? How would you have handled this in my shoes?

You created a big problem because you accused me of big things- so obviously it was going to blow out of proportion.

Please don’t misread my tone equally, I am meaning this gently even if I’m upset, I want you to genuinely understand why this was an entirely wrong and immoral thing to do“

My response:

“You completely ignored the rest of my paragraph. But I’ll come to that in a second. As I mentioned, I have absolutely no issue with you responding online as I brought it to the internet in the first place. It would be foolish of me to think you wouldn’t. However, my issue is how you went about it. You berated and attacked me on your livestream and did nothing to dissuade your fans from doing the same thing. You let them think it was okay to treat me the same way you did.

You ask me how I would have handled this if I were in your shoes, and my answer to that is very simple. I would have done so respectfully. I would not have insulted the person, I would not have gone live and attacked them to thousands of people, and I would have told the audience not to send any hate and to be respectful. I would have explained myself well and planned out what to say.”

-> I would like to add that the points I made in the thread were not factually wrong and the rest of this thread will show that.

Part 2: The AI script

This part follows my message to Ethan regarding me speaking to another cast member about and that will stay private. These messages are not the whole thing as I removed parts that are not safe to talk about publicly.

I said:

I would also like to apologise to you for breaking your trust and not speaking to you about the situation directly. I am not making excuses for myself, I would just like to give a little bit of reasoning for why I decided to take it to twitter. I am a writer myself and create content through fics, one shots, threads etc for people to read and enjoy and to know that a very well known project used an AI script and that it was still being posted, not talked about, and was urged to keep it “under wraps” goes against all of my morals and what I believe in.

Again, I apologise for this and how it has affected everyone involved, however I do not apologise for posting about it. With the voice message you sent, it came across as though this would not be mentioned until AFTER the film was uploaded and when people were still donating money to fund it. It made me feel physically unwell to know that people had invested thousands into this fan project under the impression that it was authentic. Again, this is not an excuse and just my reasoning. I understand now that I probably should have reached out and talked about it instead of jumping straight to posting the thread, but I cannot go back and undo that.“

His response:

“I understand this entirely. I do. As I explained on stream, I write songs, I used to write a book, I KNOW how much creativity and effort it takes to make art.

I share those same morals as you. It was gnawing at me.

But again, this was NOT my call to make. It would’ve been selfish of me to not let the people hurt most by this be the ones to address it. Again, I was new to the project. And I respected their wishes of wanting to take time to deal with things appropriately. And HEAL. I’d like to add that equally, I was an actor on set. I have no authority in decision making for the group, it would’ve been highly inappropriate of me to come out about things without permission.

Because it’s only been like two or three days since everything I had no concept of what the team wanted to do. I didn’t know the full extent of the legal things nor how money would get refunded to people, crew, cast, and supporters alike (I gave up on getting my investments back because I am so exhausted from the situation that it’s impacting my health). But again, this is nothing that we are in control of. You were trying to go after the wrong person here. Said “person” has EVERYTHING. the financial records, the social media passwords, etc. We have been trying to get access to that to fix things. But without any compliance from said person, it’s an impossible situation.

I knew that when they were ready, they’d talk about it, and make it clear that we made the decision to get the “person in question” to promise to dissolve the entire production. To absolutely make sure they could not do this again. We were not taking things lightly. At all.

The reason I said to keep things under wraps is NOT to cover up the fact that it was AI, that was and is going to be PLASTERED on everything to make sure people know. It was to protect my friends in case I said something that could potentially get them into legal trouble if said “person” were to go after the cast and crew for defamation. So I was waiting for the green light, you understand?

None of what I have done has had any ill intent. I’ve been heavily concerned with how this was going to affect the people that supported the project. We are just as disgusted as you.”

My response:

“If you share the same morals as me you should understand why I felt it was important that this information was not kept secret. I understand you have no authority within the team however it should have been a suggestion to speak out about it from the beginning. The cast and crew should’ve come out and said it was AI as soon as they knew. Everyone who financially donated was impacted so to keep it a secret from them was entirely disrespectful.

The fact that everyone acted as if nothing was wrong was also a problem in and of itself. Posting stuff on their stories hyping up the script and the film, and how happy everyone was to be involved could have led even more people to donate. It also was so misleading as everyone had already quit! At the very least, not posting about it was the bare minimum and not even that was achieved.

Telling the fans should have been a priority out of respect for the audience. You are all influential within the fandom in your own right. Any one of you could’ve posted literally anything urging people to not give more, to explain that everyone had quit, to ask people to be patient while they deal with issues within the team and that more will be disclosed when you guys were able to do so. That was the bare minimum.

“You were trying to go after the wrong person here” — I never, ever blamed you or anyone else in this section of the thread. I blamed this on the person who “wrote” the script.

“We are just as disgusted as you” — Act like it then. You should’ve spoken out about it the second you knew because you were disgusted.”

Part 3: Becoming a mod

I said:

“I also feel like it is worth mentioning that when I applied for mod, I was a fan of your content and you as a person. But, as time has gone on that has obviously changed. I would obviously not apply to be a mod for you if I did not like your content, or you as a person. I am only mentioning this because I saw quite a few people question why I applied for mod if this was my opinion of you. This was not a big elaborate plan to “cancel” you or whatever as I do not agree with cancel culture most of the time. But sometimes, things need to be addressed (in the right way obviously, nothing malicious or rude or disrespectful).”

His response:

“Apart from the script problem, may I know your views on what I said about everything else you were talking about in your thread? Because I genuinely don’t understand what I could’ve done to warrant this kind of thing. You kept talking about my behaviour, and apart from my (very clearly put) humour, I don’t understand this— It’s not like I even have “dark humour” (which is a dumbass concept) I just don’t hesitate to answer when people don’t know basic decency online, and I happen to have colourful language (aka, British slang and swearing)

But again, I’m failing to understand what could possibly be a good enough reason to have done this-”

My response:

“As I mentioned at the start, I was responding to what you were saying in the live and you were reading the section about TMP. Therefore, that message was in response to your comments about TMP. At the end of my message, I told you I would respond to your response about the rest of the thread when I had woken up. This is only late because I had to gather my thoughts and respond to you respectfully, which is more than you gave me.

Your humour was not ever a problem, I have a very similar style of humour to you. And your “British slang and swearing” is also not a problem as I myself am also British. I have more to say about this but I will do so in my next message regarding the rest of the stream when you mentioned it.”

Part 4: Voice messages

I said:

“Okay first point, you trying to send me a message this morning. I was asleep, as you know, and then I woke up late and had therapy. I do apologise for this, I did want to contact you to talk about it but I couldn’t miss a session. I intended on messaging you as soon as I was finished but by the time it wrapped up, you were already live. Also, after getting the time to listen to the voice messages, I was not entirely comfortable speaking to you straight away.”

His response:

“I was rightfully angry. That is all I can answer to that, I kept composure incredibly well considering I trusted you with this. I had every right to raise my voice. It’s not like I said anything out of line, I spoke the facts you needed to know. I just happened to (understandably) be upset at having been fucked over. Not only for me but for EVERYONE this affected.

I will be blunt about this, but you felt uncomfortable with answering to a valid reaction to your actions, I will not tolerate that behaviour or be made to believe that I was rude for doing that.”

My response:

““I was rightfully angry” — This is no excuse whatsoever to treat me the way that you have.

“I kept composure incredibly well” — If yelling at me, indirectly calling me stupid, and then repeatedly berating, attacking and belittling me on stream is you keeping composure incredibly well then I am concerned.

I felt uncomfortable because you treated me like shit when I was respectful in my thread.”

Part 5: Clout?

I said:

““I hope it was worth it. I hope you’re glad you have a stream dedicated to you.” - I understand that you probably said this out of tiredness and/or anger, but this was incredibly rude and disrespectful. I did not create that thread for you to see it, go live and respond to it. I created the thread to bring awareness to the situations I mentioned (as stated within the thread).”

His response:

“Perhaps your intention wasn’t to “cancel me” but you’ve made damage. Whether you want to admit that or not. And we are talking about my job. What keeps a roof over my head and my family’s. It is not something light to throw around very baseless accusations as to why I am “problematic”.

Again, my reaction is to your actions. My words reflect the impact you have had. You “awareness” was factually wrong. Past the AI stuff, you attacked me on my values as a person, and on my personality of all things? So yeah, it’s hard to believe you had no ill intent behind this and it did feel like you simply had a personal vendetta against me.”

My response:

“Again, you have ignored what I am saying. You made it seem like I posted that thread to get your attention, to get clout or whatever. You and I both know there was more risk in me getting attacked by your fanbase than anything else. I posted it for people to make informed decisions instead of blindly supporting you and TMP without having the knowledge beforehand. For you to insinuate it was for me to get a whole stream about me is insulting. Especially when we both know that is the reason the “backlash” has been so bad. I’m not stupid, I knew what it would result in and that was for people to defend you without thinking critically.”

Part 6: Cast

I said:

“I know I already mentioned apologising to *cast member* and the other members, but I am sorry that I did not give them the time to process and handle it themselves. I have explained myself and my reasoning to them, and it was a long one but I did try to summarise it at the start of this message. I know now that in the future if there ever is a situation like this again, I will not be repeating this. I will message them and ask about it, specifically if the reason it cannot be talked about involves legal matters. The way you worded it in the voice message made it seem as if you and the team were withholding this information, that was my problem. And I see now that I could’ve asked about it. I will also mention that anyone could have posted anything telling people not to donate and that for legal reasons, it will be explained in time.”

His response:

“Thank you for your consideration for any future people you could affect with this. I equally feel like I should’ve been clearer, and I apologise for my clumsiness about that, but you are the very reason I was hesitant to give every piece of information. I was trusted by the team to make sure legal issues wouldn’t arise from me talking about the shit we were put through, so I kept it vague until I could be upfront about it.

I trusted that my mods would give me the understanding, trust, and allow me the time to explain everything once the team felt comfortable. Evidently I was wrong to think that.

As for the last sentence, once more, I have to point out that I have no authority being the newbie, but I agree that that should’ve been something considered. Donations towards the project from what I saw are pretty rare, and the team has no access to the funds. And people were so knackered that preventative measures towards stopping funding the main film (which was already agreed as nonexistent anymore at that point) weren’t the first thing that came to mind (we’ve been dealing with a lot. It’s a very messy situation.)”

My response:

“Again, I do not need your gratitude for being considerate about any future situations that may be similar to this. But I appreciate it.

You kept nothing vague. If you could not talk about it for legal reasons, you should not have. A simple “Can we block these terms from chat, I'll explain when I am able to” would have sufficed. No one would’ve bat an eyelash. Do not ridicule me for informing people that the script used was AI. I’m tired of repeating myself about this.

How can you say you “trusted” me when you did not know how to say my name or what my pronouns were?

You say that taking measures towards stopping the funding was not something that came to mind immediately. I disagree with this entirely as it SHOULD have been one of the first thoughts like I said previously.”

-> Another thing I would like to mention that I forgot to talk about here, is that even if the donations were rare, they were still made. Money was donated to this fan film and not only is that an iffy thing in general but should not be ignored simply because it was not a regular thing. They deserved to have been informed.

Part 7:

I said:

“Another minor thing, I do not appreciate the guilt-tripping tactic you used throughout the majority of the stream !”

And I said SEPARATELY:

“I get that while filming you guys did not know about the script being AI generated, however after finding that out - whether you improvised at times or not - it should have been rewritten entirely. It is SO damaging to use AI generated content in any form, yeah the script might have been edited in some places and improv used now and then, but the general consensus of the script was AI and it should not have stayed included.

I will talk about the gofundme and other stuff tomorrow as I am really tired right now, sorry for the long message!”

His response to BOTH:

“16, I don’t really understand what you mean by this, genuinely. Is this regarding paragraph 17?

I agree that I’m uncomfortable knowing it’s AI. However, you also have to realise that one person’s shitfest that we had NOTHING to do with should not discredit the amount of work we have put towards this as artists.

You’re talking about it as if we did this knowingly, like we aren’t the victims here, we were lied to and heavily betrayed. We have had so much to go through, financially, emotionally and physically to get this done. You are completely disregarding genuine work and art from people that have given so much to this project. If it was just me, I would say that I am okay with not going through with this. But that’s because I have not given as much as everyone else has, time, energy, money, mental health, I have NO RIGHT to say what these hardworking artists should or should not do.

One person’s shit actions should not render people’s work worthless.

You need to understand putting respect behind the work of people other than writers as well in all of this.”

My response:

“I said throughout the majority of the stream, so no it is not related to paragraph 17.

I agree, their actions should not discredit the amount of work put into the project. However, it does. And that’s not because of me, that is because a film with an AI script is not credible whatsoever. If any of you want a future as an actor, you guys should scrap the film as it will not look good to any future employer.

Again, I never once implied or said you guys did that knowingly. Not once. You guys are victims here, but you are not the only ones. More people are affected by this than the cast and crew and no one acknowledged that until I talked about it.”

Part 8: Conclusions

His conclusion:

“Despite this having taken up my entire day, and how emotionally distraught I am after all of this, I do not wish to have my mind flooded with this any longer, especially having done everything in my power to do the right thing.

I really hope you can open up to understanding how you have affected people. And how you have personally damaged my name online. Part of me hopes I can ask you to delete the thread now that you’ve understood how factually incorrect you have been, but I somehow unfortunately doubt we’ll be able to get to that point considering your answer. I am genuinely extending a hand here, trying to make the best of this situation, and move past it, but if you do not see or understand where I am coming from, there is nothing more I can do. And at that point, it isn’t about me anymore.

Please, please realise the reality of the situation. The real life people you have and are still affecting.

I cannot guarantee I’ll come back to this because I have done everything in my power to try to get you to understand. But thank you for reading this if you have. I hope you a good continuation in life, outside and away from the hellfest that is the internet.”

My response:

“Part of the reason I have taken so long to respond is because of this. You said you do not wish to have your mind “flooded” any longer with this situation, which is valid, but as I mentioned I had more to talk to you about which is exactly what you asked for.

“I really hope you can open up to understanding how you have affected people.” — Let me throw you back to paragraph 2 where I acknowledged how I affected people and apologised. You thanked me for that, and now you’re telling me to do it again? This is one of many examples I can use of you contradicting yourself.

My intention was not to damage your name online, but it is something that has happened anyway. That is not on me, that is on your actions and behaviour (and lack thereof).

There is no point in me deleting the thread as you basically read the whole thing out loud on stream, even if you only paraphrased it. Nothing I said was factually incorrect.”

My conclusion:

“You, once again, cannot acknowledge that you are the one in the wrong here, not me. You ignored several points I made and only responded to ones you could “defend”. I truly hope you can grow to understand where I came from with the thread as you have made no effort in doing so.

I will be sending another message when I have finished watching the stream addressing the rest of the thread and the live.”

-> The rest of this post will be my response to the rest of his stream, and as I mentioned at the beginning Ethan did not reply to these.

Part 1: Doris GFM

Okay, now onto the rest of the stream. I said in my tweet that you posted the gofundme without knowing/disclosing what was wrong with Doris and it raised 12k+. You claimed that this is wrong, which it is not. You posted the gofundme without disclosing what the money was going towards as you had no idea what was wrong with her at that point. Like you said, when you found out she had lymphoma you then informed the viewers.

I have no issue with you asking people for money to help with Doris’ health, that was never part of my thread. My issue was with how you asked for it. I am aware of how much vet bills cost as I have experienced it myself, I also said in the thread that I know this:

“Once again, I totally understand needing help with money especially since vet bills are expensive, but it could very well have been a very minor thing and needed less than 1k. It just felt very weird to put up a gofundme with no goal and no explanation regarding the reason other than it was for his cat.”

Not once in that tweet did I say the cost of Doris’ treatment was less than 1k. I said it could have been. When you put up the gofundme without knowing what was wrong and how much it would cost, that was what I was referring to.

You paraphrased this tweet in the live to make it seem like I had a problem with you asking for help funding Doris’ care. This is not the first time you have paraphrased what someone else was saying to make yourself look good and the other look bad.

Someone mentioned in chat that I have an issue with gofundmes so I feel like it’s worth mentioning I have NO issue with them! As I have said several times now, there is no issue with people asking for help with money, it is the how I have a problem with.

Part 2: Modding

You know what, I wasn’t actually going to talk about this as it is something you have no control over but since you mentioned it on stream I will. You mention it’s not a paid job but you still try to pay them every month, and this is true obviously. However, what you probably don’t know as it was handled by Lee and Caitlin, is that I took a break for a little while when my mental health was really bad and I was with the crisis team.

During this time I was removed from the mod tipping page, which is 100% valid as I was not present during this period of time. When I returned, and was really active, I was not re-added. I wouldn’t have a problem with this as I didn’t become a mod to get paid (as it was not a paying thing to begin with anyway) and none of my other modding positions include payments. However, I am pretty sure I was the only mod not getting paid for my “job”.

I did not include this in the thread or anything else because it is not relevant. To you or the thread. But since you brought it up, I figured I might as well tell you that. This was not a reason for my inactivity not long after as that was due to literally everything else I mentioned in the thread.

Part 1.1: Doris GFM

You mentioned that buying the new cat, Phoebe, and the fancy equipment came out of your own money and not the gofundme. I feel like you completely missed the point I was making here. If you had the money to buy a new cat, which is expensive in itself, and the fancy equipment, why didn’t you put that money towards Doris’ health in case the gofundme didn’t raise enough?

I have a bit more to say about this gofundme but it ties in more with points I have that will be made later.

Part 3: Moving GFM

You explain the reason you moved to Edinburgh was because Andy’s deadline of where they were living was shortened. They were happy in Edinburgh and had a good job. I get this completely, however, this still isn’t a good reasoning in my opinion. Edinburgh is expensive and it would have made more sense for Andy to temporarily move to a place they could afford to stay in, and for you to save enough money to move into a place in Edinburgh instead.

You also mention you had poor understanding of how rent works in the UK compared to France and the simplest response for this is to do your research beforehand. Get in touch with landlords and ask about their rent and how it works, and if they tell you that you need 6 months of rent upright, you wait and save up the money to pay that instead of moving and then finding out.

“We had a roof over our heads and that’s all that mattered to me.” Okay, if that is all that mattered then why did the location have such a part to play. Again, you contradicted yourself a lot in the stream and I feel like having a structure to go off of would have been very helpful in following what you were saying.

“This is what we had raised in case that would happen” This is another example of you misusing the gofundmes. You had no idea that this would happen it was simply something that could. Asking your fans to donate money to something that you’re not even certain about is an extreme misuse of your platform.

Someone in chat had referenced a screenshot of you asking for 20k with the caption “help me move and start a fresh chapter”. This was after you denied ever asking for 20k and claiming you asked for 10k. Like I said before, planning out what you’re going to talk about beforehand is so important because of situations exactly like this.

-> It is incredibly irresponsible to not do your research prior to moving, and then expect your fanbase–the majority are minors–to fund everything for you instead. I understand that I do not know the ins and outs of what went on, but misusing your platform and the gofundme site is so disgusting to me.

Part 4: TMP

You said you knew of TMP having controversies in the past but being unable to find anything about it. Then you mentioned you were given proof of things with no context. If you knew that TMP was controversial, why would you join it? There was someone on the team that is racist, but I’m aware this comes up later in the stream so I will wait for that part also.

Part 3.1: Moving GFM

You posted a story telling your fans you and Andy cannot produce any new wolfstar content until you were both settled, and you posted it with the gofundme for the move attached. You said that this is because you had nothing with you to do cosplay. This would be completely valid except it does not add up with you posting drafts of the wolfstar content you created months prior.

You claim that you paid 3k for the AirBnB in total, with the help of the gofundme. Did the other 17k go toward the 6 months rent upfront? (This is a genuine question btw I'm very confused how that works because rent in Edinburgh is not that much).

Part 5: Pronouns

I know we discussed the pronouns thing already, but I 100% understand why it/its pronouns were hard for you to use as it does feel disrespectful to use them at first. For years people have used it/its pronouns to be derogatory and insult people so it makes sense. You then asked if it was disrespectful to use my own pronouns for me, even after I asked you to use them. This felt very off to me, I know you probably didn’t mean it in any rude way but it was not nice to hear at all. It’s hard enough to get people to use my pronouns as it is, you know?

I cannot put into words that make much sense so I will link two tiktoks that explain it so much better than I can. I would like to mention that I did not ask this person to talk about it (not that I have a problem, just in case it comes across as though I asked them to yk?) but I am really grateful that they did.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGddBWUEw/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGddBwM2r/

Part 6: Palestine

I will admit that I did forget that you had the PCRF charity attached to your streams, however, that says a lot in itself. I have attended many of your streams, I wouldn’t have become a mod otherwise. And I have never, not once, seen you direct people to donate to the charity. And this is shown a lot considering it has apparently been there for months and has raised $1.5k out of 3k. Yet you promoted your other gofundmes enough to get 12k, 20k, etc.

This is one of the issues I referenced earlier that I will talk about now. After posting my thread, someone reached out to me thanking me for talking about the gofundme problems as they had experienced it as well. They told me “Me and my friends commented on his posts around the time of him asking for money for his cat asking where that same energy was for palestinian gofundmes and he deleted all of them”. You have barely used your largest platform to promote Palestinian liberation but used the exact same platform to ask for money for rent/Doris because of your own financial irresponsibility.

You had every opportunity to promote so many gofundmes when you were addressing this, and yet you did not. You did however direct people to donate to the PCRF charity however it should not have taken me calling you out on your silence for you to do so. It felt very performative as a viewer to see this happen.

“That is more proof that it has never been to a stream, it never is here to mod” – Lee said this and this is entirely false. I was a very active mod except for when I took a break and towards the end. Like I said before, you never directed people to donate to the PCRF and if you did it was very rarely as I never saw you do it. For Lee to say I was never there to mod is very hurtful considering how much time and effort I put into being a moderator for you. I created a twitch etiquette doc for your streams alone, and I also created the notion page for Twitch and Discord mod guidelines. I could not have done either of those if I never had any experience actually moderating for you and understanding how it works. I would also like to say that me not being talkative in chat does not mean I am not in stream moderating. I do not have to talk a lot in the chat to be doing my job.

On this point, you posted on instagram about Thankmas and while this is a great thing to do and I fully support this, it should not have taken me calling out you not using your platform to help these charities and gofundmes for you to do so. The ability has always been there for you to do so and you have done a very minimal amount.

-> When I messaged Ethan, the PCRF was at 1.5k out of 3k but since he talked about it on stream, it reached the 3k goal. Again, this is amazing and should definitely be celebrated but it goes to show that the ability to hit the goal has always been there, he just never talked about it enough for anyone to do so. It should NOT have taken me calling him out on his lack of action in promoting Palestinian liberation for him to actually speak about it. I just hope he keeps up with this behaviour, talking about it is SO important especially if you cannot donate yourself.

Part 7: Therapy

I know you didn’t say this yourself but I feel like it’s worth mentioning because this really rubbed me the wrong way and many people were saying similar things and it was ignored until later in the stream. Someone in chat said “My point is that this person is suffering in its life right now and is speaking nonsense without knowing sadly because it is out of its mind”. I am assuming this is because I mentioned that I went to therapy before the stream and that is so damaging to not only me but so many other people who also attend therapy.

You made a similar comment later on that I will address when I reach it but I just have to say that going to therapy does not mean I am “suffering” or out of my mind. I am in therapy to prevent me from reaching the point I was at a few months ago. It is to monitor my progress, to make sure I am doing okay and not going to relapse.

-> I don’t believe I did actually bring up the similar comment that Ethan made, but it was something along the lines of me not having a good day and not in the right mind when I made the thread. This was not the case, as I have mentioned already.

Part 8: Drama

Regarding your responding to drama you are not involved in, I do not have examples or evidence I’m sorry. I just know that there were a few cases on tiktok where you had posted about drama you yourself were not involved in because I saw them myself. But at the time I was also a fan of your content so I didn’t even bat an eyelash at it, which is a problem for me. I should’ve realised then that was wrong and screenshotted/saved it but I did not.

“I feel like I’m gentle parenting right now” – I am 20 years old. 20. I am not a child so please do not treat me as such. This was so rude I cannot even put it into words.

I’m glad you have acknowledged that you do focus on hate comments too much and that you are working on that. /gen

“If you had a reason to hate me that was valid, sure.” – I don’t hate you and I have never claimed to. I have also given plenty of reasons, the whole thread for example.

Part 9: Cosplaying

“I don’t really care much for cosplay” – This is SO harmful to the cosplayer community. SO harmful. And I truly don’t think you understand how much. If you do not care about cosplaying, do not do it. It is a way to express your interests and something to enjoy and be happy about. If you do not care for it, do not do it. I cannot emphasise that enough.

“Are you gonna cancel me for that” – I get that this was a joke but it just goes to show that you do not take any of the things I have pointed out seriously. Again, unnecessarily rude even if it was a joke.

I do not agree with comparing cosplayers or people in general either. I do not believe that there should be a cosplayer hierarchy but there is and from an outside perspective, as people have also reached out to me before the thread and expressed, it appears like you do put yourself at the top. Whether that is intentional or not. And it is not helpful that your fans do so either, which is something you already spoke about and I agree with your point entirely there.

Part 10: Remus

“When did I say that?” followed immediately by “Do you realise that was a joke?” is once again very contradictory.

There is absolutely no problem in you saying that you are more than Remus, whether it is a joke or genuine because you are and people should see and respect that. However, you complain when people do see you as their version of Remus and I gave my reason for this being a problem in the thread so I will not repeat myself.

“Marauders was not my thing” — This is what people were referencing on twitter by the way.

“He works well online” — This being said about Remus not long after you saying you do not care for Remus is also what brought on a lot of the stuff on tiktok. If you are cosplaying Remus for views and revenue (ik tt doesn’t pay well but you do promote your streams and stuff on there too) then you should not be doing so at all. I shouldn’t even need to say this because it is common sense I fear. But if you do not actually enjoy a character, if you do not understand the character, and you do not enjoy cosplaying or the fandom, you should not be cosplaying them.

Being “rude from the beginning” does not make you Remus, people see you as Remus mostly because of your cosplays. In all forms of Harry Potter (books, movies and the wiki) not once is Remus portrayed as rude or anything of the sort.

“I’ve read a little bit of ATYD” — this fic is not a good reference for Remus at all. Not only is it problematic but the author literally states at the beginning that this version of Remus is not the canon version. In canon, Remus Lupin is not an orphan and he does not grow up in a muggle orphanage. He does not sell cigarettes and he is not ill-tempered and aggressive. He does not swear a lot.

“Is it because I’m British?” — I know this is a “joke” but I am also British. I also swear a lot. This was never the problem and I never said so.

You said you’re confused by me talking about how you use your “Remus persona” for clout. Might I remind you of this very quote you said yourself, “He works well online”. The point I was making here was that you complain when anyone compares you to Remus when your whole role in TMP is Remus anyway. Of course, people are going to associate you with the character you are portraying, it happens to big actors too. This whole thing then led to the point I was making at the end of the thread.

The actions and behaviour I was referencing were literally everything I said in the whole thread. I thought that was quite obvious.

“Because I swear?” — When did I ever say that? When in my thread, in any of my tweets, did I EVER mention you swearing? And as a problem? I swear. Everyone swears. Why on Earth would I say you need to be held accountable for swearing?

The “persona” in question is you being portrayed as Remus. A lot of people (myself included) have turned a blind eye to any questionable behaviour you have portrayed, and a lot of that has to do with people seeing you as Remus. You play into it a lot too and I don’t even think you realise.

Part 11: Rude to Minors??

This specific part is not the exact message as it involves information I cannot share and screenshots I will not share.

I never mentioned you being rude to minors but that is actually something I would like to mention. Someone did reach out to me on twitter and informed me of a situation where you spent 21 minutes on stream shitting on a child who said they did not like you. You made condescending comments such as “Isn’t it past your bedtime?” and that is so rude I cannot even explain. You claimed you had no power over what your fans did but you did nothing to stop them from attacking this minor who had posted in their school uniform.

“Kids can be assholes” — I am very aware, however, there is a way to go about responding to that online, especially as a larger content creator.

Part 10.1: Remus

Again, the flaws that I was referencing were—once again—mentioned in the thread. And—again—it is the fandom seeing you as Remus that prevents literally anyone from holding you accountable. Along with the fear of your fanbase as a whole because they refuse to listen to any negative opinion on you and jump to defend you without thinking critically.

Part 4.1: TMP

The two tweets I added to the thread about Peter being cast skinny were meant to be a part of the first section when I was talking about TMP. I am aware that you have absolutely no control of the casting, and that it happened before you joined. HOWEVER. You joined knowing The Person cast a skinny Peter and received so much backlash for it and yet never recast. It is incredibly harmful to me and the entire plus-size community to see more erasure of plus-size characters and that was never acknowledged.

“Not to defend” — And then you immediately defend them and agree with their reasoning. This is so harmful to so much of your community and you truly do not understand that. There is no stigma of fat people being bad. There is a stigma of ugly people being bad and if you associate fat with ugly that is a whole other issue in itself. (Not you directly btw!)

“You have to consider acting skills” — I do not know if this was intentional but this came across as you saying that plus-sized people cannot act.

Part 13: Private

I did not refuse to talk to you. I was asleep. I had therapy. By the time I was done, you were already streaming. I did not refuse to talk to you at all.

I sent a message in chat that you missed so I will send it here and also Andy’s response (it was the first response to it and a lot of people said similar things and I would just like to explain it a bit)

“FallOutEmrys: Just popping in, can't stay, but I told you l wanted to speak to you about it privately when you came on live and brought it here too. Like I said, I was sleeping then had therapy and was not able to respond.”

“WhatAboutAndy: @falloutemrys privately? you realize you are the one who brought it to twitter? you left him no choice then to talk about it.”

My message had nothing to do with my taking it to twitter first, it was about you asking me to talk privately when I was unable to. Like I've said several times now, I have no issue with you responding live because I brought it to the internet to begin with.

Part 14: Idk what to label this one

I was NOT dirtying your name, I was holding you accountable for your actions and behaviour that I stated in the thread!

“I am very open to conversation, it doesn’t seem like you are.” — Again with passive aggression. I never said I wasn’t open to conversation literally ever.

-> The hypocrisy here is so startling to me. You claimed I am not open to conversation and yet when I try to have the conversation with you, you ignore me. Anyway, continuing on with my message.

At the beginning of the stream, Lee (an admin), asks Ethan if he wants to make the chat emote-only. He says no and that he wants it to be an open discussion. This would not be a problem if the mods then didn’t delete almost every single comment that was not agreeing with Ethan. A lot of people asked genuine questions regarding what he was saying and they would get deleted. So now if you were to watch the VOD, you see only people supporting Ethan in the chat except for the few comments that he responded to.

Part 4.2: TMP

You defending Gaya’s actions around them changing their skin tone in that one photo is actually insane for lack of a better word. Editing a photo to make your skin darker is also black face. And also what they said about their brother was racist too.

Part 5.1: Pronouns

Okay so this is talked about in the tiktoks I sent previously but I am going to touch upon this part myself a little, mostly in response to some of the comments in chat and your response to it.

So, someone in chat said that on my twitter my pronouns were “it/xin/they” which is false. Those pronouns were on my carrd but were also outdated, my pronouns on twitter are it/xin only, like on discord and tiktok etc. I very rarely edit my carrd as I find the structure of the site really annoying but that’s not the point.

-> I will add that for this person to have found those pronouns on my carrd, they would have had to go find my thread, go onto my profile, click my card, click the about me, and then see that. This is kinda insane to me I’m gonna be honest. Again, back to my messages.

Lee responded to this by saying it was “probably to cause a bit more drama” First of all I didn’t do anything to cause drama and second of all for Lee to insinuate that I used my pronouns to “cause drama” is so harmful to the trans community as a whole. You already know why I only told you about it/its pronouns so I won’t explain myself again but nothing was done or said in response to Lee’s comment on your behalf. Instead, you actually agreed and said it could’ve been to “trip you up” which again is so harmful to the trans community. You can be trans and still be transphobic and a lot of people proved that in your stream.

Thread Conclusion:

Everything Ethan talked about in his stream, I have easily debunked. You should not take anyone’s words at face value, especially when you do not personally know the person and who they are.

The stream would have been much more coherent and less contradictory had Ethan had a structure to go off and talk about, and I believe that a lot of the points he made where he did contradict himself might not have been intentional and just not remembering correctly. For example the moving fund, someone in chat easily found a screenshot and found the exact amount that Ethan asked for.

I made this thread as I have seen a lot of people claiming that I was in the wrong and Ethan debunked all of my points when in fact he did not. He skirted around most of the points that I made and only “debunked” certain parts that I did not remember the exact details for. And even then, he was wrong. He defended only the parts that he could “defend” and ignored the rest.

I would like to mention that I reached out to Ethan on the 11th of October, and he responded that same day. Then I responded on the 17th of October, and it is now the 4th of November. He has definitely read the messages, and I can prove this from the fact that he opened the tiktoks I sent him (I have screenshots)

If anyone is confused or wants more information, please ask instead of assuming everything I said is wrong or likewise. I am more than happy to inform anyone about anything that I know, and if you have any points you would like for me to add to this thread, I can and I will. Please make informed decisions instead of blindly following someone you see on the internet just because they fit into your idea of your favourite character.

[rweoutofthewoods]

hey mere! so i just go around to reading tennessee baby and i just wanted to express my … disappointment i guess? don’t get me wrong here i love previous work vm usually u do jeggy so so much justice and i usually have such adoration for your characters but this one is really rubbing me the wrong way as james is essentially grooming reg and its promoting teachers and adults in general abusing their power with children. cause regulus might be of age but he’s still a child in comparison to james and just in general like 17-19 are still children they are teenagers and don’t have a fully developed brain and so the way you’re making it seem as if it’s regulus doing is just WRONG. like i don’t even have other word for it. and yes i get the whole don’t like it don’t read it but… how do you feel comfortable promoting stuff like this in the first place to your audience who previously hasn’t gotten the impression that you’d promote such violence in your fics yk?

anyways, i’m only sending this in hopes that you may have something say about it i guess cause as of right now i’m not sure if i’d even feel comfortable reading anything else you’d write in the future which is just heartbreaking to me as i’ve been following along with you for so long now!

If you have read my writing before then I hope you know that I don’t write anything as black and white. I write things that are purposefully wrong and the characters are supposed to be in the wrong.

This is something I run into a lot that is very frustrating to me because I can’t force anyone to understand my work. But I understand my work.

That is to say I’m not writing Tennessee Baby with the intention of saying any of this is good or alright. I’m not writing it to act like my characters are in the right. I don’t write things to be moral lessons on how a person should act because why should I? I plan my writing, I exist for it, I have thought out every single little detail and exactly what I’m portraying. which as the fic goes on, I think everyone will find is the exact opposite of “promoting violence” or any of this behavior to my audience.

So two things.

1. The fic is incomplete and very early in the story. Their relationship is just beginning and we’ve barely gone anywhere. It’s a bit premature to judge me morally on a story I’ve barely begun and I WILL touch on all the things and I’m not painting my characters as their actions being okay. But it takes time to write a story. You know who thinks regulus in control and at fault for their sexual relationship? REGULUS. In his pov only… maybe think about that and think about all the ways I’ve showed how he IS a kid despite being a legal adult. I know exactly what I’m writing, trust me. I think you don’t, and I can’t blame you bc the fic is so early in the plot, but it would be nice for people to trust me. Bc comments similar to your concerns pop up regarding a lot of my WIPs and I always know exactly what I’m doing and what my intentions are. So it’s a tad frustrating often feeling the need to defend my writing choices when ik if we just wait and read on everything will become clear.

2. I did warn multiple times exactly what the fic would contain and that it is immoral and it’s MEANT to be. None of this is supposed to be acceptable behavior and I have never acted as if it is.

So really I guess I’m a little disappointed in your response. If it’s not your cup of tea that’s fine! Not judging! It isn’t a nice happy unproblematic fic. If u went happy moral fluff there’s a million other fics for you. But this is the writer I am. I always HAVE been. I’ve written multiple cheating fics, I’ve written age gap, I’ve written characters killing people. Does that mean I believe in infidelity, murder, and student teacher relationships? no 😭that’s not how it works, and the things I write don’t morally define me at all. In fact most of my writing teaches a lesson. if you can’t understand that and don’t want to read my work anymore that’s fine, but I hope you consider why people might choose to purposefully write things that are wrong.

[bravo4iscool]

What you said about ‘crybaby reader’, while I think it could’ve been worded a bit better (not to say you’ve said anything particularly offensive/wrong!! It’s just harder to distinguish tone over text, so it may come off as harsher than originally intended, it’s not really you to blame since text doesn’t convey tone properly) I completely agree

Especially since I’ve unfortunately noticed a pipeline where it starts off with childish behaviour from an adult and escalates into p*d*/non-con/…etc territory. People can write what they want, dark content can be used as a means of venting about trauma and I understand that. But fetishising and romanticising it? Posting about it in that particular way? It feels so wrong

And as you said, I doubt these military men would go for a too sensitive partner (to be completely clear, I’m referring to when reader is written as a character that need to be babied and constantly lathered with attention to the point where it comes off as extremely annoying and ‘all should cater to me’, and not someone who’s highly empathetic and feels strongly). And the way it’s usually written, the ‘reader’ comes off as toxic to be honest. Like imagine dating someone who demands all your attention and would cry if not given what they want immediately, only people who really do that are manipulators or actual children

Another thing that gets on my nerves is when the actual character is written like that. Men crying is absolutely fine, they should be allowed to feel and express emotions!! But I just hate when let’s say ghost is written as a very emotionally weak character who would also cry at the drop of a hat or König is written as shy because he has anxiety. Like the characterisation is so off and borderline infantilising at times

Sorry for the long rant lol. I know people may not really agree with this take, and that’s fine. Anyone could write and post what they want, it’s not a crime to make the characters ooc, I personally just don’t interact with these fics nor the writers (as in, I don’t actively leave negative comments or anything like that). My main issue is mostly from people romanticising and normalising disgusting immoral behaviour (such as non-con and p*d* and things like that)

i’m sorry to the person who said i’m clogging up the tags but i need to answer this because tHIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEANT WITH MY OG POST.

i know tone can be misinterpreted and my choice of words was…well not so smart bUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I FUCKING MEANT!!!!!

anon, don’t apologize for your ‘rant’, i very much appreciate it🧎🏼

thanks for saying what i was thinking🧍🏼😭

[bananonbinary]

What has Jonny Sims said about cannibalism? I am unenlightened.

oh man. so much. in many different places honestly.

here's a bit from the season 4 q&a under the cut, because the transcript is fairly long, but tl;dr: he doesn't see animals as fundamentally different than humans, and therefore doesnt see any *moral* problem with eating people as long as you didnt do anything otherwise immoral like murder them to do it. (health problems is a different concern tho). to be fair i basically agree with him myself, but it makes the cannibal episodes of tma REALLY funny. he LITERALLY says he would do the exact thing the woman in the statement is horrified by lmao.

ALEX

This is from [hannah] Is Jonny a vegetarian? Honestly after all the meat content I might just become one myself.

JONNY

No. My relationship with meat is, as you might have guessed, complicated?

[Alex makes a hmph-sound]

Basically I- I’m not a vegetarian. I wasn’t a vegetarian. At the beginning it was much more a fear about body horror and gore.

ALEX [BACKGROUND]

Yeah, yeah.

JONNY [CONT.]

Then, in episode 30, I did a bunch of research into abattoirs and was like (dramatic) oh no, the industrialized meat industry is real bad.

ALEX [BACKGROUND]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

JONNY [CONT.]

And it’s been something of a, y’know, low key struggle since, because I- I really- I really liked meat. And, but at this point I don’t eat a lot of it. Especially because a lot of other people in my life are vegetarian or vegan. So, like, most of the meals that, uh, that I cook at home, um, or the- that we eat at home are vegetarian, but I will still generally, y’know, might get a- get a steak if- if we’re going out to eat or a burger or that sort of things. So, I feel that I am-

ALEX

You’re definitely meat-lite as a person.

JONNY

Yeah, I- I- I consider- I try to be a conscientious meat eater? Even though that kind of a contradiction in terms?

ALEX

But you do have a… coherent sort of set of rules in terms of like what counts as people or not?

JONNY [BACKGROUND]

Oh, I- I…

JONNY

Oh yeah , also, uh, I have occasionally seen people being like, “Ugh, this guy is got to be a vegetarian because he keeps saying there’s no difference between human meat and, uh, animal meat.” And I’m like (plainly) “Oh no, the- the other way around.” In that I don’t fit like- let’s be clear! Probably wouldn’t eat- I mean, I wouldn’t just eat a person. OK.

ALEX [OVERLAPPING]

I mean…

JONNY [OVERLAPPING]

I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t eat a person!

ALEX [OVERLAPPING]

There are contexts where I would?

JONNY

I mean, no, no- there- there are contexts- like this is- this is the point, like I feel that I mean obviously prion diseases aside, I wouldn’t actually, because prion diseases are horrible.

ALEX

[makes a disgusted noise]

JONNY

Um, but I don’t fundamentally see a difference between… eating other meats and eating human meat? Uh…

ALEX

Y- you need like a short pity- like three word phrase that encapsulates that.

JONNY

I mean, don’t kill people.

[Alex chuckles]

JONNY

Also don’t- don’t…

ALEX

I was going to say meat is meat. But no, no.

JONNY

But yeah, meat is meat is meat. But, like also, if someone was dying and was like “Hey, after I die cook me up and eat me.” I probably would.

[intrulogical]

the semantics of logan as the orange side (essay)

so, i don’t think this is going to be anything TOO conclusive (hence the lowercase) but something i wanted to share from the discussions i’ve had with orb (@/orbmanson7) would be the possible technicalities of how logan works as the orange side. logan as orange has been a popular fan theory for years now but i don’t think anyone has attempted trying to explain how logan becomes orange. how does wrath and/or other suppressed emotions integrate with his role as logic? how long has he been the orange side? how has he been able to hide his side as orange for so long?

well, i’m not gonna say this is as concrete as my other analyses, but i’m just gonna throw in my guesses/predictions on this matter.

(this essay, by the way, is written under the assumption that orange’s role is wrath/suppressed emotions/taboo emotions.)

(essay under the cut!)

first thing to establish: logan being the orange side implies that logan has other roles outside of logic. let’s get this clear, this does NOT mean there are two people inhabiting logan’s body, or that logan has “two personalities”— let’s try avoiding negative DID stereotypes as much as possible. what i mean is, logan embodies different functions just as how the other sides do. 

from what we’ve seen in the series, some of the sides encompass more than just a singular role. sometimes, they can have two distinct roles that seem unrelated to each other. we can see this especially with the dark sides, with janus representing both self-preservation and deceit, and remus representing dark creativity and intrusive thoughts. in essence, the dark sides seem to embody more of the former traits that i’ve mentioned. janus is mostly concerned with thomas’ self-interest, and remus being the beholder of more taboo, non-family friendly shenanigans.

what makes them interesting, though, is that it seems like thomas’ suppression or general dismissal of these functions caused them to develop a secondary function, or more specifically, be reduced to the most negative aspects of their roles. when prioritizing self-interest, for example, you would obviously lie to preserve your reputation. because self-care is already taboo in unhealthy catholic upbringings, thomas would immediately associate self-preservation with the worst parts about itself. thus, janus is both self-preservation and deceit. remus, on the other hand, as the beholder of forbidden knowledge, is immediately labelled immoral by default. as long as thomas has an established set of morals, he will continue suppressing what he considers taboo. hence, repetitive participation, or participation in general, by remus would be tagged as intrusive thoughts.

so, seeing the worst in a side or a way of thinking sort of alters a side’s functions. they’re the same, but they can slightly deviate depending on thomas’ upbringing and internalized beliefs.

now, long rant about sides and their functions over, as ironic as it sounds, i’d imagine that logan can embody suppressed emotions — or emotions considered as taboo — as a secondary function. think of an authoritative parent, or a teacher, for example. to raise or discipline someone, they could, initially, act as calm and logic-driven as possible. but when the recipient is uncooperative, then the authority in question can resort to anger to create order. perhaps, they can be snarky or insulting to get people to behave or become quiet. to guarantee someone listens, you can instill fear. but usually, these only come when worst comes to worst.

that’s how i imagine why logan would even have a function like that in the first place. the question is, since when did he have this function, and why wouldn’t we know about it until now?

this is where the real guessing game begins, so buckle up.

like i mentioned a while ago, the dark sides are mostly the ones who encompass dual functions. even virgil could fit into that, but you can do the math on how it applies to him. so, if that’s the case, then there’s a possibility that logan can qualify as thomas’ definition of a dark side. but, well, he’s considered as a light side, those thomas compartmentalize as the “good” sides. how does it work, then? when has logan had this function? well, one possibility is that it’s a recent development, hence why we wouldn’t know anything about it.

but a funnier/more interesting thought would be that, logan has been orange most of his life. this would only make sense if his role has logic has been suppressed as much as janus and remus’ functions were. and, well, thomas’ catholic upbringing is a perfect catalyst as to why logic would be suppressed/be considered a “dark” side in the first place. to quote orb, indulging in religion develops a suspension of disbelief. you don’t care how illogical something sounds because that’s religion.

and thus, logan develops those secondary functions.

now, another question would be, how the hell was he still considered a “light” side all his life? to not overcomplicate things, i think we all acknowledge that developing a sense of logic, despite being religious, is quite normal. i feel like it’s a copout to just say “common sense”, but it really is, especially considering we grow up in academic environments.

the funny thing to imagine is how logan was able to hide his dual functions from both the light and dark sides. like, i still think about virgil referring to the dark sides as “[janus] and the others” plural, so he seems to be aware of another side besides remus. if i’m allowed to guess wildly, my thought is that, since the dark and light sides don’t mingle often, he was able to just… hide that he was both. live a double-life. a “you haven’t seen bruce wayne and batman in the same room” vibe. 

the reason logan would hide it for a long time is because thomas, as mentions before, has heavy black-and-white thinking. that’s why the dark sides lose influence— growing up, thomas and the light sides thought of them as amoral. if the light sides knew logan had a “dark side function”, then he’d be ostracized as well. if the finale won’t disclose the whole black-and-white thinking debacle, then thomas may become afraid of logan as he was with the other dark sides.

this would also explain why logan chooses to suppress his emotions. i always thought there was much more depth to it than just productivity. it would make sense, then, that logan suppressed his emotions because he was afraid to be found out. 

but, obviously, with the trajectory sanders sides is going, it wouldn’t be surprising if logan gets found out sooner or later.

there’s a lot cc!thomas can play with with this plotline. i was thinking, a possibility as to why logan is hiding his orange function is because he did something horrendous years back that the sides blamed the orange side for. could you imagine the betrayal they would feel if they realized it was logan this entire time? or, with the inevitable discussion about moral greyness, they might have to disclose who all the dark sides are. could you imagine the sweat on logan’s face if they ever get to the topic of orange?

i also have an inkling that janus and remus might possibly know of logan’s secret function. orb disclosed to me the possibility that remus’ main intention in WTIT is to make logan more assertive in influencing thomas. remus recognizes the futility in his current passive and independent work ethic and thus, he pushed logan’s buttons for him to finally snap. if remus knew of logan’s orange function, it would make sense then as to why he didn’t seem surprised by logan’s eyes. and by extent of remus working under janus’ hand, it would make sense if janus also knew.

how virgil doesn’t know is a mystery, or how logan was able to hide it from the light sides for a long time. but again, this is all some wild guessing. i think logan as a hybrid light-dark side could really challenge thomas’ perception of black-and-white thinking AND may cause a dramatic divide amongst the sides during the finale.

anyway, lots of potential and possibilities here, so i would love to hear any other possibilities of how logan could function as the orange side!

( + special shoutout to orb for the brainrot, couldn’t have thought of this without you. go follow them if you haven’t already, since they also create really good sasi meta!)

[moontheoretist]

Demonization is a “go to” of Bioware

Anders is the canon representation of Bipolar Disorder, at least according to his second writer (his first writer was Gaider) Hepler who even called him “Bipolar Terrorist” (Fuck you, Hepler). He is very BAD representation, but he was written as such by Hepler, who could not stop and think for a second what writing a character that they will then continue to gaslight and demonize in the game and outside the game does to the mentally ill and disabled community.

The story of Dragon Age 2 is written in a way that makes you believe that what Anders did is something wrong that should not happen. Which in turn works as demonization of mental illness, because it literally conveys a meta message that says that “only unstable mentally ill people would do such a thing”, as if revolution was not something any person is capable of starting. As if revolution was something BAD that only people who are perceived by the majority as unbalanced and unstable can see as “viable solution”.

And because revolution and upsetting the status quo is inherently perceived as bad, it also reflects on the person who starts it. They could have a regular person do so, but they chose Anders who is possessed by the spirit. Writers showed that they perceive spirits as inherently neurodivergent with Cole, and Command, therefore people who are possessed by those spirits are also neurodivergent, which also means that they assume that every act that they deem somehow immoral can only be done by neurodivergent people.

And that is linked to oppression of POC and queer people as well.

To marginalized people what Anders did was a necessary liberating action that needed to be performed, because all mages lived in a system that wasn’t taking their voice into account, no matter how much it tried to bullshit it did, so it would not change their status willingly until something more drastic happened. Anders did that drastic thing, that was ultimately a good thing, but writers continue to not only overburden Anders with the responsibility of starting the war (as if the vote from Asunder didn’t count, as if Templars weren’t the ones who declared that war), but also overinflate repercussions of the explosion itself. Trying to bullshit that more people died or were affected than it was actually true. Bullshiting that explosion “changed the tides” as if it was that fucking big. No it wasn’t. They’re lying. They inflated it like a balloon and hanged all the responsibility on Anders, because they could not in fair fucking conscience finally blame Templars for something. Even with Red Lyrium they barely blame Templars for anything. They do not treat Templars in the game the same when recruited as they do mages. There is a literal bias to how they perceive mages as a whole to how they perceive a glorified police. There is a clear bias here. An ableist racist systemic bias.

Why couldn’t they portray what Anders did as something good? Why couldn’t they write a revolution story that was portraying revolution as good instead of something inherently wrong to do? I don’t know, but my guess is that most writers are privileged too much to relate and empathize with the characters that they write as oppressed (even Gaider). Most of them are white and ablebodied after all.

[cadybear420]

Cadybear's Re-Reviews- Ride or Die

Welcome to the first of Cadybear’s RE-Reviews! In Re-Reviews, I of course reassess my original opinion of a story I’ve recently replayed. Maybe my opinion has changed, or maybe it still holds up and I have further thoughts. 

Today I will be re-reviewing Ride or Die, the seventeenth review I’ve done. The last time I played this story was 3 years ago, in May 2021. I last reviewed it in March 2024, putting it on the Wood Tier with a 3 stars out of 10 rating. As of my most recent replay however, I can comfortably put it on the Gold Tier at 8 stars out of possible 10.

Sooooo… My opinion on this story has changed VERY drastically as per my second replay. 

The first time around, I did not care for this book. The plot felt poorly paced to me, with too much happening at once. To the point where I said it caused me actual mental distress trying to keep up with it. And I found the whole mood and writing far too melodramatic for what I felt was supposed to be a shallow relationship between MC and the Mercy Park Crew. It was far from being one of the worst to me, but I still found myself speaking very harshly about it. And it shows in my original review. 

This time around, I had much more ease in following the plot. I don’t know why. But rereading it, it is a pretty solid story, and I actually found myself quite invested in what was gonna happen next. There were definitely some parts where I found myself tuning out a bit and had a bit of trouble following, but for the most part, it was a decent and enjoyable story. And because I could follow the story better this time, I could follow some of the more emotional themes of it.

I actually had quite a bit of fun with this MC. Even though she is often pushed as this ingenue/innocent type character, it’s not too overbearing, and she isn’t made to be outright spineless or passive. And they do have some flexibility in their character too– we get quite a bit of variety in how we behave towards the other characters, how we act in certain situations… and that’s something I always appreciate. 

There are even some choices that seem to directly affect the story, most notably the ones where you choose if you focus more on studying or more on spending time with the Crew (with premium options to allow you to combine the two things)– and if I’m not mistaken, it affects whether your MC becomes valedictorian or salutatorian. Though they don’t make it clear how much of your story’s outcomes are changed by your choices. Guess I’ll find out when I replay. 

And I actually found a lot of these characters very endearing. Toby and Ximena were very vibrant and charming and easily my favorite members of the crew. Riya and Darius… I remember being a tad more annoyed with them in my first playthrough, but this time I found them to be very interesting and pleasant characters. 

And by far, my favorite character is certainly MC’s Dad. Oh my God. Even in my first playthrough, I think I did always have a bit of a soft spot for him. He’s just such a sweetheart, and a lot of the interactions and scenes between him and MC were quite emotional to me, I will admit. It was definitely in those moments where I could buy the bittersweet feelings that people rave about. Even though the dad is a bit overprotective, it feels backed by understandable well-meaning intentions rather than some over-the-top “if anything happens to my daughter I got a .45 and a shovel” stereotype. 

I’d say it definitely puts a fair amount of twist on the stereotypical “goody two shoes good girl x immoral tough bad boy” trope. While Logan’s route definitely upstaged those of Colt and Mona (and I’ll get to that later), the story doesn’t revolve entirely around MC’s relationship with him (or any of the other LIs really). The dad was a very sympathetic character, and like I said before, his protectiveness felt well-intentioned and not over-the-top. And rather than a stereotypical “MC runs away with the bad boy and rebels against her evul oppressive father” ending, she’s instead allowed to grow and change to independence through her experience while still sticking true to her academic and family values. 

Of course, there are still a fair amount of problems with it. 

For one, I do still think this book is pointlessly genderlocked. The storyline with MC wanting independence and Dad being overprotective could still work with a male MC, to be honest. And Logan’s character I think would have also still worked as a woman if he was GOC. 

For second, the handling of the LIs– which is probably my biggest problem with the story. I did find Logan a lot more interesting of a character in my replay, but my God, is he a screentime hog. Although the seemingly forced attraction between him and MC isn’t quite as pushed in the first couple of chapters, the story is still blatantly biased towards him and it’s clear they want us to see him and MC as inherently romantic. 

All of the options for MC to choose between her studies/school friends vs driving lessons/the crew involve Logan, and often are given romantic connotations (eg. “study date with Logan”, “double date between you/Logan and Riya/Darius”). And by the halfway point of the book, we’ve only gotten one premium scene option with Mona, two with Colt, but plenty with Logan. 

Now, in my first review, I said that I don’t understand why Logan is so god damned special and why he of all the LIs was the main LI. But here, I think I would phrase that a bit differently: I don’t get why Logan is far more special or important than the other two LIs. 

This time around, I was able to follow Logan’s special reason for taking interest in MC. Quite simply, he was employed to be a sort of “honey trap”. He and Teppei Kaneko knew that MC’s dad was a cop and had been assigned to track down the MPC, and so Kaneko had Logan charm MC and lure her into their group, in order to possibly manipulate the Dad and his case. He calls the cops on Brent’s party so that he can save MC and get on her good side. This is obviously all well and good narrative-wise, but it doesn’t justify him getting this many more scenes than Mona and Colt. 

Personally, I still found Colt the most compelling and developed of the LIs, due to the whole conflict between him and his dad. And Mona is an interesting character too, in that she was once a straight-A’s “good girl” like MC but had gone down a bad path and ended up being stuck as a criminal. These are genuinely interesting character types! Yet for some reason, the story acts like these are much less important and significant than Logan’s character, so much so that they have far fewer premium scenes. Seriously, Mona is given so few interactions with MC and premium scene options, that it’s honestly hard to feel for any relationship between the two of them. So it still feels 100% like she’s just the token f!LI (and the story’s subtitle still isn’t helping matters). 

I mean, I get it. I can understand to some extent why Logan might have a little more focus than the others– he’s the tool that’s meant to bring MC into the crew and keep her there, in order to disrupt her dad’s investigation. But it sort of cheapens the impact of any connection MC could have with Mona or Colt. 

As I mentioned before, Mona’s whole backstory is that she was once like MC– a straight-A goody-two-shoes student, who suddenly gets roped in by “a beautiful girl with a beautiful car” and now lives her life as a criminal away from her old identity and life. This is fine and all, but the “I was roped in by a beautiful girl with a beautiful car” thing ends up feeling rather Logan-centric due to how few romantic opportunities we get with Mona in the first half of the book. Logan’s the one who ropes MC in and gets all the interactions with MC that are meant to keep her interest in being in the crew, whereas Mona has very little presence in that regard. 

Logan may be the one manipulating MC into being part of the crew, but they should have allowed room for intrigue in any of the other LIs to be a bigger factor in what keeps her in. If that makes sense. 

And even all that aside, I do think the romance aspect is a bit melodramatic, kind of? Like, MC and these LIs have only known each other for, what, a month? Three months? Yet they try to push the LIs as having these deep feelings of love for the MC and make it seem tragic when they eventually have to go their separate ways. Like, they have the LI outright say “I love you” to MC at prom. 

I understand that MC and the crew did have a major impact in each others’ lives, but it was hard for me to buy it or feel it was earned or organic when Colt confessed his love for MC. I do like that they allow MC to not return the feelings and point out that they don’t know each other as well, and ultimately treat their romantic interactions as just a small thing. Frankly, I think the romance is better when played that way, as a brief fling that was never meant to last or become deeper. Not all relationships get to develop or have a happy ending. 

I’m fine with a story’s romance routes being more shallow and fling-y, but the story itself needs to treat them as such. ROD somewhat does that, but at times it does also try to frame it the same way of regular more developed Choices romance routes, and that does take me out of the story a bit. LI and MC saying “I love you” to each other in HSS:CA might not have quite been earned either, but at least in that, it is played out as a more cutesy thing. Whereas in ROD, it’s played out as 100% serious, so it doesn’t feel quite right. If they kept it at more of a “I like the idea of dating you” or “You’re important to me and I’ve come to deeply respect and value you” type of thing, I’d feel for it a bit better. 

I also think it’s weird that they have MC still care about the group even after learning that both Colt and Logan had essentially manipulated her. I mean, Mona, Ximena, and Toby, I can kind of get why MC would still care about them. But with Logan and Colt… I don’t fully buy MC still being that eager to help them. Logan manipulated MC, Colt lied to MC about stealing another human being, and Mona ended up betraying her whole group. MC can get angry at them, but still acts weirdly sentimental towards them near the end of the story. Speaking of which…

The story’s ending. I was okay with it before, but I can honestly appreciate it much better now. I’d said in my previous review that even if I did like the story, I probably would not have wanted a sequel for it. And… that still holds true. I like the story, but I don’t think it needs a sequel. MC not getting a happily ever after with her LI is certainly different from the usual Choices ending (again, why couldn’t books like TNA, FCL, Surrender, and TBB have this), but I like that outcome not just because it was “different”, but primarily because it felt appropriate to the storyline and MC’s experience with the crew. 

It makes much more sense for MC’s relationship with the crew to be more like a short-lived fling that was never meant to become deep, which is why I felt it was better to play the romances as such. In the end, it allowed MC to break free from her usual studious and family-focused routine and a taste of adrenaline-fueled independence, and now she gets to move on and start a new adventure as someone who is still studious and cares about her family but is also more independent. 

And unlike other books that got their sequels suddenly canceled like ATV or Hero, the note that this story ended on was fairly conclusive, and it doesn’t really need a continuation. I still wouldn’t have been against the sequel idea (MC being targeted and having to bring the group together again after graduating college) that was revealed in Storyloom, as I do think it’s an interesting idea to explore (as long as there would be a choice for the ending where we don’t get back with our LI)– but it does work just fine without. 

Of course, I still don’t quite get why people have praised this as one of the bests/most legendary of Choices. In my original review, I said that even if I did like this book, I wouldn’t consider it quite one of Choices’ bests. And I do think that opinion still holds true. As of now, I do like this story well enough. I find it fun, action-packed, with a solid coming-of-age narrative and even some strong emotional moments. It does do a fair amount of things differently, but… it wasn’t quite enough to really stand out and *wow* me. It goes with COP and ID in my category of “It’s good, but it’s not that good” stories. 

Overall, I’m glad I gave this story a second chance.

[kim-poce]

13. No God In Town: Poison

In hiatus

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

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The wooden house was about the size of my cabin, maybe a bit smaller. Apart from the empty bottles on the table, it was all neatly clean and organized, I couldn’t pay attention to the detail, though, the world was moving slowly, and blurry, and there was fog and emotions in my mind. Even my core was weird as if I had given it a weak poison.

I should’ve been more careful. The moment the couchwoman suggested it I knew how things would turn. I am centuries old, I know what my body can take and what it can not, and yet I was reckless and inconsequential. But I was angry and grumpy and-

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, head resting on the table. I was playing with my fingers, there were only five of them, all in the wrong length, but seeing them move on my will was oddly entertaining.

“Fuck? That’s new!” the couchwoman said, I looked up at her smirk through my messy human hair, was she always this big? Or am I just looking from the wrong height? “I didn’t know you could curse.”

“Why? Because I’m a god and I shouldn’t use such… such… fuck… immoral words? I’m not god! I can curse! Not curse like, the the opposite of blessing, I mean I can curse but I’m not talking about curse curse only curse the words and- I’m not god,” I tried to say it in a firm and even tone, but the words tripped on each other and left my mouth barely understandable.

“I know, I know,” the couchwoman said, pouring me another shot of the brownish clear liquid. “You just didn’t click me as the cursing type. Have you met such bad influences?”

I swallowed down the alcoholic thing whose name I didn’t even know. I recalled the arrogant guard with his ‘you know she is bad on sight’ talk about the cursing cub, and understood more why she cursed at them so much. I wanted to curse him too, I hope he got all drenched and caught a cold that day for what he said. I was also mad at the cub but that was a different matter altogether.

“And who… who gets to decide that she is a bad influence? Who he… he thinks he is? He comes to my cabin and talks about my guest. How dare he? I should’ve made snow, or or hail. Hail would hurt the animals, though, they didn’t do anything. Do you think the animals got cold? They were just there, it’s not their fault.”

“You are not making sense, very-human-guy,” the couchwoman drank her own shot, “Who would have guessed you are so weak to alcohol? This sure is a sight to behold.”

I rested my head on the table again, it had been a while since I last was drunk, and now I recalled why I had avoided it for so many years. “I can solve it,” I admitted, “I can sober up if I want to.”

“But you don’t want to, do you? That’s okay, very-human-guy, people should be drunk from time to time. It’s good for the heart.”

I’m no person. I closed my eyes, I was getting really sleepy, maybe I should truly sober up.

“I got no heart,” I corrected.

“It’s good for the emotional heart,” she shrugged. “And I was surprised when you accepted my invitation. You are even paying for it, thank you very-human-guy.”

I looked up at her, she was so normal, “Why aren’t you drunk? It's unfair.”

“You are grumpier than usual, aren’t you?” she laughed. Humans have a good laugh, it’s good to hear. They are happy and doing their thing, and I’m just watching from sideways, that’s how things should be.

“I’m sleepy,” I said. “It’s the wrong time to be sleepy. It’s too early.”

“Either you control your body or you get drunk, you can’t do both,” she said, and she kept saying something blurry.

I noticed I didn’t know what time it was anymore, I felt so lost. As if I was standing in a never-ending pitch-black place, where time was meaningless. I should just sober up already, just–

— —

I woke up. I don’t know what time it was but the sky was dark and it starred. “They are up,” the clubbing cub said, looking down at me. I blinked trying to understand the situation.

“They reek of alcohol!” the flower cub exclaimed. “I’ll prepare them a bath.”

“Now they wake up,” the couchwoman clicked her tongue, “After I carried them all the way up here.”

“You are really strong,” the mint cub said in awe.

“That’s a given,” the couchwoman said proudly. “I didn’t know they got children, or cubs, however they call you lot.”

“It just kinda happened,” the cursing cub explained. “Can you keep it a secret? There would be so many fucking problems otherwise.”

“I didn’t carry them all the way here to break our friendship in such an idiotic way, lady. But I got a favor to ask. The way down the mountain is really hard, and I’m somewhat drunk myself. So I was thinking of sleeping over.”

“What do you think, Biggie?” the clapping cub asked, waving his hand in front of my face. “Can we let her sleep here?”

Now you ask if I allow people in! When you bring a follower every dawn you don’t think asking it’s important.

I nodded anyway and noticed I wasn’t in my human form anymore. Was that the reason the couchwoman brought me here? Because she didn’t want people to see my real form back in town? I did threaten her about letting people know my identity.

The humans talked more about who would sleep where as the flower cub dragged me to the bathtub (well, she isn’t strong enough to drag me so she just led me there) and dropped me into the water.

“Get clean, Biggie, I’ll get you some clothes,” she sighed like an old woman. “Don’t forget the soap.” 

I was still confused and drunk, but I didn’t want to be dirty over everything else. I decided not to sober up, it was late, and I wanted to sleep soon, which wouldn’t be possible if I take out the effect of the weak poison. By the time I was in my bed the humans outside were talking loudly.

“This bed is so comfy, how much do you want for it?” the couchwoman asked, she was sounding more like a drunk person now.

“That depends on how much money you got,” the cursing cub answered.

“The bed isn’t yours!” the mint cub protested. “It’s Biggie’s. They made it themselves!”

“Oh? That’s an outstanding skill they got there.”

“Hey!” the flower cub yelled. “You are even dirtier than Biggie! Get out of bed!”

“That was mean~”

“Go take a bath!”

“I don’t like baths.”

“It's a bath or sleeping on the floor.”

“Thinking again, the bath is great actually,” the couchwoman laughed as the cub dragged her to the bathtub.

I closed my eyes, I would keep this talk in my memory when I left. These jovial and casual moments are what truly matter. I was still angry at the cubs, and I knew somewhere near the cabin the follower was waiting alone. I didn’t need to ask questions and try to solve it though. I was great at walking away from my problems. Yes. I thought before sleeping.  That’s a good way to spend my last day in this town.

—

@extemporary-username, @the-magpiesystem, @nexfox-art, @kathea, @wolfeyedwitch, @blu-jay-2779, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee

[i-am-a-freg]

are you down to explain how the french revolution started? and maybe where the whole cake eating thing came from?

INDEED THANK YOU ANON(and I am SO SORRY I am horrid at checking my ask box, please forgive me and I love you)

Soooooooooo. This will be a little wacky and not entirely clear because I’ve forgotten some people’s names so forgive me lol.

It all started maybe a century or two before the French Revolution happened, when Jesus appeared to this little French girl(Margaret Mary alacoque i think?? If I’m wrong I’m so sorry don’t quote me on that) and the gist of what he says is this: I want to shower blessings on France and the king, tell him to put my Sacred Heart on his standard(or like his coat of arms or whatever I don’t know names of things) and to dedicate France to my Sacred Heart. So bestie goes to the king who is like. Nah.(side note wth bro. God comes down and you’re like nah??? The heck is wrong with this king)

anyway so that was (probably) Louie the somethingerother probably because they were extremely creative with their names. Fast forward to the American revolution. Now, all these dudes are aight. We love them for fighting for the freedom of our country yada yada but there’s a problem. They kinda suck. Like half the founding fathers are freemasons(which is a whole other kettle of fish), and by half I mean more like all of them. Except John Carrol. Or maybe it was Charles Carrol Idr. They were cousins tho one of them was the first archbishop of America and the other was the only catholic dude to sign the declaration yknow fun times.

Anyway im getting distracted. So then we’ve got mr Lafayette from France, who went to France to get supplies for our dear revolutionaries and brought them back, from our dear French king. Idr which one it was but the point is he got aid from the French king to win this revolution against the British. Lafayette goes back to France at some point after the war, and this guy fans the flames of the communist revolution in France(it’s literally always communists starting bloody revolutions I swear). Like, against the guys who just helped him in america. Talk about a backstabber. Now I’m a little hazy on the details and I’m not sure entirely how the revolution was begun because your girl has forgotten(sorry), but I DO know that Lafayette was instrumental in it so screw him.

And dearest anon, onto the famous “let them eat cake”. Before we go onto that let’s talk about the lovely girl who was supposed to have said this. Marie Antoinette was married off to this French kid when she was like 14 or 15, she was a catholic and the lavish immorality of the French court was something she obviously didn’t approve of. But she figures that this stuff is her responsibility to deal with and (in some ways) take part in, especially since bestie has got like the entirety of the French court pressuring her.

Anyway TLDR she’s a lovely little girl thrown into this cesspool of French aristocracy and feels like she needs to fit in.

Then over in America at some point, we have frickin Benjamin Franklin, who most likely did not have a high opinion of Catholics, French people, and definitely not royalty. the rumor of Marie Antoinette saying “let them eat cake” came from that bastard(pardon my French). And so now everyone thinks that Marie Antoinette was just a disgusting hussy who didn’t care about anything but herself and how much she could take from the poor peasants of France.

I’m not gonna pretend that the French court wasnt really gross and SOMEthing needed to change, but the revolution murdered everyone from tiny children to their beautiful innocent queen, while American founding fathers mocked or ignored them. Or in Alexander Hamilton’s case, though we should help the revolutionaries. Anyway I could say a lot more about that but I’ve already talked too much lol, so thanks for the ask!!!

[hypnified]

Irais, Barks, Bear and Laz incorrect quotes

Lazarus, to someone that angered him: *Holds two middle fingers*

Irais: Can’t say I’m surprised…

Barks: Yeah, flip em off, Lazarus !

Bear, confused: *Holds one middle finger*

Irais and Barks, both very distressed: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-

Lazarus: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the holonet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”.

Bear: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD??

Lazarus: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER!

Irais: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER????

Barks: You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

-

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*

Barks: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Lazarus: No, Barks. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

Barks: No, that’s not part of it—

Lazarus: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Bear: I would want to live with no legs.

Lazarus: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Bear. You don’t do anything.

Barks: Alright, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Lazarus: *pumps frantically*

Barks: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Lazarus: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Irais: How’s that gonna help you?

Lazarus: I will divide and then count to it.

Irais: Right.

Barks: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Lazarus: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

-

Barks: How do Lazarus and Irais usually get out of these messes?

Bear: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

-

Lazarus: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Barks: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Bear: Irais bath water.

Irais: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

-

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Irais: Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Bear.

Lazarus: For the record, I already found them.

Barks: And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Lazarus: he stabbed me!

Irais: I'm surprised he waited this long, Lazarus. We've all had the urge.

-

Lazarus: I just watched Bear jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, he wasn't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Irais was screaming for help, which caused Barks to run in to help Bear. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

-

Irais, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Lazarus, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Barks, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Bear, appalled: Call the exorcist.

-

Lazarus: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Barks: Not if they consent to it.

Irais: Depends on who your stabbing.

Bear: YES??!!?

-

Bear: You're smiling. What happened?

Barks: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Lazarus: Irais tripped and fell down the stairs today.

-

Barks: You know guys, sometimes I feel like Bear doesn't take me seriously enough.

Lazarus: "Sometimes"?

Irais: "Enough"?

Barks:

Irais: Change that to 'at all' and we'll talk.

-

Lazarus, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Irais: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Bear, visibly confused: Okay, so he decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Lazarus, spraying Irais: You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Irais: Dude, I forgot-

Lazarus: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Barks: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

-

Lazarus, Irais and; Bear: *screaming*

Barks: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Bear?!

Lazarus: Wait, why are you asking Bear that when Irais and I are also here?

Barks: Because Bear wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

-

Lazarus: *falls down the stairs*

Bear: Are you okay?

Barks: Stop falling down the stairs!

Irais: How’d the ground taste?

-

Irais: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Barks: Waking up in the morning and your datapad wasn't charging.

Lazarus: Waking up in the morning.

Bear: Waking up.

-

Lazarus: We call that a traumatic experience.

Lazarus, turning to Bear: Not a "bruh moment".

Lazarus, turning to Barks: Not "sadge".

Lazarus, turning to Irais: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

-

Lazarus: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours.

Irais: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia.

Barks: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred.

Bear: You guys are fucking terrifying.

[beloyaltowhatmatters]

Micah's Bio

" I Believe There's Winners And Losers, And Nothing Else Besides. "

Micah Bell III was born circa 1860 to Micah Bell Jr., a ruthless petty outlaw. When Micah was 17, in 1877, he and his father were on the run for the brutal double homicide of Roscoe and Jean Briggs, who were hung from the rafters with their throats slit. It can be assumed that he was his father's partner-in-crime throughout his upbringing, although evidence suggests that he also ran with his brother, Amos, for a time. Micah would later have a falling out with Amos, who, by 1899, is repentant of his actions and lives in California with his wife and daughters, whilst making it clear to Micah that he wants no contact with him, threatening to kill him if he's anywhere near himself and his family.

Micah is considered to be wild and unpredictable, even by the Van der Linde gang's standards. He is said to enjoy the action in his life, going as far as shooting what Arthur claims to be half the town of Strawberry in order to reclaim his prized revolvers. In spite of his brash nature, Micah is an experienced criminal and hitman, earning him the favor of Dutch himself. Micah has a poor relationship with most of the gang members, as he frequently antagonizes and bullies them, sometimes going as far as making colorful threats to those he dislikes. Besides Dutch, Micah also tries to get Arthur's trust and approval initially, despite Arthur openly disliking him, viewing him as selfish, untrustworthy, and opportunistic. Arthur's fears are proven true later in the game when Micah starts working as a mole for the Pinkertons after escaping from Guarma. When confronted with his disloyalty, Micah simply labels himself as a survivor, showing no loyalty to anyone but himself, highlighting his self-serving, every-man-for-himself attitude to life. Observing his interactions in the camp reveals his attitude to be a profoundly nihilistic one; he openly states his disbelief in the concept of right and wrong, seeing no true meaning to life, seemingly a justification for how he approaches things. Like Arthur, Micah seems to be aware that he is an immoral person, stating that if damnation was real, he'd "feel right at home there". Nevertheless, in contrast to Arthur, he has no remorse for the things he has done and doesn't make any effort to redeem himself.

In 1899, Micah has shoulder-length, blond hair, as well as a thick horseshoe mustache and side whiskers. Micah is slightly portly and often wears an undone black leather coat, a red shirt, or a black shirt accompanied by a red vest, a green neckerchief, beige trousers, and a white hat. He's also seen sporting a short-tailed, buttoned-up leather coat. In cold temperatures, he is instead seen with a long brown leather coat, while in warmer climates he's seen without a jacket and just his red shirt. Micah is armed with a pair of custom Double-action Revolvers with "Vengeance is hereby mine" engraved into the barrel, sporting dark grey frames and grips that are painted red and black in a skull-like design, which he uses with immense skill.

Bell is purposely vague and mysterious about his past, though he does mention that his father taught him that "sympathy is for the weak" and that the United States is a survival of the fittest, Darwinistic, dog-eat-dog world. He is clear about his view that the gang is too big and has too much "dead weight", labeling Uncle a "parasite" and listing Molly and Reverend Swanson as examples of people who don’t contribute anything and should be cut loose. When Micah, Arthur, and Bill head off to rob a stagecoach together, Micah mentions that his ideal gang was a "tight crew of five or six strong gunmen", but ultimately, Micah goes against his own idealistic by forming a large gang of his own by 1907, which contained at least 50 gunmen.

Micah has a callous and unsympathetic attitude towards death, brushing it off as "part of the game" in a conversation with Hosea about the Blackwater Massacre. After Kieran's death, unlike the rest of the gang, Bell doesn't mourn him and instead speculates that Kieran tried to sell the gang out to the O'Driscolls. He is similarly dismissive of the deaths of Hosea and Lenny, stating that the former was "dying anyway" and derisively ridiculing Lenny's confidence, saying "you know what they say about pride before a fall...". He is also cruel to animals, which is evident by the fact that he frequently kicks Cain and is even implied to have killed him when the dog disappeared.

Micah is an atheist, stating on various occasions that he doesn't believe in God. He is cynical about religion as a whole, saying to Reverend Swanson that men and women of the cloth are "parasites" who deceive people into believing a greater evil and that his "being up in heaven doesn't give two shits about him", treating Swanson with evident disdain and stating to Susan at one point that he doesn’t like religious people. However, he doesn’t rule out the existence of Hell as an afterlife, even going as far as saying that he’d like to see what it’s like. Micah is dangerously shrewd and manipulative, capable of acting as a mole for some time without being discovered and making his way through Dutch's mind in order to become his right-hand man upon noticing that Van der Linde's sanity was starting to perish. Despite his selfish and imperious attitude, Bell appears to have his own sense of respect for those who he deems capable in combat. He surreptitiously shows some admiration for Arthur's skill and appears to enjoy fighting alongside him, even proclaiming that they always "get the job done". Likewise, he is regretful of the Callander brothers' deaths, lamenting them as "real fighters" - the only deaths he expresses any remorse for. In addition, he is quite charismatic when necessary, being able to verbally acquire information about a stagecoach with relative ease and later lead a successful, unprecedentedly feared gang of many men.

[dot2doting]

Image transcript of tweet chain on the 16th of September 2020 from Sayed Tabatabai, MD @TheRealDoctorT [Begin transcript: "Why do you want to be a doctor?" I answer without hesitation, "I want to help people." "There are many ways to help people." "I want to save lives." "There are many ways to do that too. So I'll ask you again, why do you want to be a doctor?" "Because I believe in it" 1 of

I think about that exchange now and then, some times more than others. Why do we do the things we do? What do we really believe in? My next clinic patient is one I’ve known for many years. He is visiting me today via Zoom. I always look forward to talking to him. 2 of

As soon as the visit begins, I notice that his camera is angled off-center so I can’t get a clear look at his face. I ask if he can adjust it, but he says he’s having technical issues. No problem. I can adapt. It isn’t just the camera though. Something feels off today. 3 of

Almost immediately I can tell that he sounds subdued. He isn’t cracking his usual jokes. I’m comfortable with silence, even in the heart of a busy clinic day. Silence is often where the healing happens. After asking how he’s doing, I let the silence between us grow. 4 of

The question, when he asks it, is one I don’t expect. “Doc, which kills you faster? Blood pressure you don’t control, or blood sugar you don’t control?” The surprise on my face must register, because he explains further. “I just can’t afford all these medications anymore.” 5 of

He continues. “The way I see it, doc, I only need to stick around 4 or 5 more years. That’s how long my pet dog has left, then I ain’t got no more family and it’s me all on my own. So I figure maybe take the diabetes ones and skip the blood pressure? Or every other day?” 6 of

As I review his meds and start discussing our options with him, he adds one last remark. “And I’m real sorry doc. I know we go back a ways, but I can’t afford my co-pay. I’ll pay you later. Promise.” And just like that, I understand why his camera is angled. 7 of

And just like that, I’m again struck by the cruel illusion of what I do. The system I’m part of. This patient did everything right; got insurance, paid his taxes. And he still has to barter years of his life. And he can’t bring himself to look me in the eyes as he does so. 8 of

Our healthcare system is too often unethical, immoral, unsustainable. The insurance paradigm is focused on revenue generation. It strips the basic human dignity from patients, to the point where they can’t even make eye contact anymore. I know that I’m part of this system. 9 of

He’s old enough to be my father. Some part of me imagines that he is my father. Tears threaten my vision, as a hot anger floods me. Now I wish I could angle my camera away. I ask him if I can write about him. Because people need to know. His response lingers with me. 10 of

“Sure you can doc. But people already know. Lots of people deal with this. It ain’t that people don’t know. It’s just that nobody cares. Nobody gives enough of a damn to change anything. Nobody… cares.” The visit ends. My Zoom window closes. His window closes too. 11 of

I feel it. There’s something insidious here. A casual cruelty we’re all complicit in. “I can’t go to rehab, insurance won’t cover it.” “Insurance won’t pay for that medication.” “I can’t afford any of this.” “I’m uninsured.” This isn’t right. None of this is right. 12 of

Twenty years ago, I gave a medical school interview. I wore my best suit. I sat up straight. I said I believed in medicine. I meant it. Some part of me once burned brightly, but that fire is down to flickering embers. Our lives mean more than this. More than this.

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