#normal “I don’t get mad I get even” oak

[teamoakills]

I’m going to be honest, before this episode I was a little worried with what they’d do with oakworthy because all I thought was “gee I hope normal doesn’t get all embittered and sad…with he and hermie just hating each other. I wouldn’t like that at all!” But NO! We get our FULL-FLEDGED teen drama rival schools romance courtesy of Normal “I want him” Oak. Never should’ve doubted Normal on spotting school spirit for a second. Two houses, both alike in dignity from ancient grudge break to new mutiny etc.

[kaseyskat]

why does everyone think normal would actually even TRY to hurt taylor like this boy literally just had an entire episode where he became convinced that he was right and his friends don’t care about him AND he just was reminded that it’s kinda his dads fault that taylor didn’t get to have a dad in his life you really think norm isn’t fully prepared to step down and let taylor win he literally said he only wanted to rule hell because it sounded angsty and he’s being angsty why would he get violent about it 😭😭😭😭😭

[aetherdoesthings]

Hi OP! Could we get a Xiao x GN Reader where reader is really panicking because of a bad decision that will come back to haunt them? Something fluffy maybe? :3 auhdjsjssj

I hope you have a wonderful week!

Hi! this is my first time writing for genshin lol

forethoughts: no, i'm not dead. i'm very much alive, just enjoying my time off the screen. like i said, first time writing genshin, so don't be too mean 🙏🏻🙏🏻. remember folks, hydrate or die-drate.

notes: gn!reader, fluff, xiao being a therapist

“So… what’s wrong?” 

You were pacing back and forth, your shoes crunching the same patch of grass over and over. Your heart felt like jumping off a cliff, your breathing erratic, head above the clouds. All the while, your partner was leaning against an oak tree that shielded the two of you from the sun, and from other people. Xiao remained silent, unsure how to approach you. It wasn’t your first time approaching Xiao with a war in your head; he was already accustomed to seeing you like this, but regardless he was still cautious of how to approach you.

“I did something bad. Really really really bad.” You managed to regurgitate out those words after a while.

“Okay. And?”

“I… I…” You made a frustrated sound, throwing your hands up in the air, staring at Xiao, who still remained still and silent. 

“Is it something that requires my help?” Xiao asked, his voice quiet but firm.

“Maybe, no, yes? I don’t know!” You exasperated.

“What happened, Y/N?”

You let out a sigh, falling backwards, letting the grass envelope your body whole, hopefully consuming you before your problem would. “I… I think Dr. Baizhu’s mad at me.”

“Why would Baizhu be mad at you?” Xiao tilted his head.

“Okay, okay. It was a normal day. I was doing my stuff, but then Director Hu suddenly appear and asked for my help for something. She said there was this spirit that should be laid to rest in order to restore the natural cycle of life and death or whatnot, I dunno, I wasn’t paying attention. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to help, since Director Hu was asking me to help her. S-So I did. I went to Bubu Pharmacy, found the spirit, who’s apparently called Qiqi, and then gave her to Director Hu. But then Dr. Baizhu showed up out of nowhere, and told me that Director Hu was trying to kidnap Qiqi and said I was an accomplice and was doing something extremely bad. So I ran, and went here, and called on your name.”

Xiao’s deafening silence was making your heart race and breath quicken. Xiao always remained silent, only speaking when necessary and if you asked him to. His state of tranquility and peace was something that you loved and hated equally.

“I’m aware of Director Hu’s intention to give Qiqi a proper burial in order to restore the natural order of life and death. I was not aware Director Hu was familiar with you or knew you, but I digress.” Xiao walked towards you, kneeling down in front of your face. “Why are you so concerned with Baizhu being mad at you?”

“I don’t know! M-Maybe I can’t get anymore of my medicine from Bubu Pharmacy because he refuses to serve me, and then I’ll get sick and die-”

“That is not a possibility. I won’t let it be one.” Xiao said sternly.

Your heart skipped a beat at his tone. “I just don’t want to have people mad at me for something I didn’t know I was doing. Director Hu was very vague when she approached me, and maybe I should’ve asked more questions. I don’t know, okay?! I feel bad! I shouldn’t have listened to Director Hu, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”

“Y/N, relax.” Xiao cupped your cheek with one hand, making you look at him. “It’s not your fault Qiqi almost got taken by Director Hu again. Even if you weren’t a factor, Director Hu will still try and take Qiqi away. It’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You were misinformed and misled by Director Hu into doing something you had no idea what the repercussions would be. Stop beating yourself up, alright? Baizhu will always find a reason to be mad at everyone, in his pursuit for immortality. You do not need someone like him in your life taking up your energy and space. You’re going to be fine. Nothing’s going to come back and haunt you.”

You looked at your partner in the eyes, the corners of your mouth shooting up to your eyes. Xiao, the ever quiet adeptus who spent his time alone, never striked you as a man that was good with words. How he proved you wrong so many times in the course of your relationship. You leaned into Xiao’s touch, finding the energy to sit up, leaning your body against your boyfriend. Your fingers intertwined with each other, back leaning against the tree.

“Besides, I won’t let Baizhu lay a single finger on you. Ever. You’re safe, my love. So stop worrying and fussing about trivial matters. Let’s enjoy the sun while it’s still out, hm?”

[mangoisms]

i want your hands, your future plans (to the bitter end)

━ pairing: tim drake x f!reader

━ summary: A night on the town and a first-time encounter with Tim as Red Robin — and knowing that, too.

━ word count: 3.3k

━ contains: super brief mention of stalking (within the normal canon-typical range), established relationship, suggestive content

━ a/n: technically takes place as an extension of my other tim fic, i'll be the dangerous ledge (you be the parachute), but prior reading not required! title is from this song

━ you can read this on ao3 as well

“And he just left! He left! At the first sign of trouble, he is gone and he leaves me behind! You know, I’d get it if it were out first date or something, ‘cause like, whatever, you don’t owe me anything — would still be nice but it’s not something I’d get mad at since it’s Gotham but… you know?”

You do know. And you do think it’s fucked up that Amir’s boyfriend abandoned them at their date to Amusement Mile after a false alarm about the Joker. 

It’s just that… three men have been tailing you guys for the last two blocks. 

You two didn’t have that long of a walk after coming out of the station; Amir lives in the Upper West Side like you, their apartment building only a few blocks from Rose Oaks, you would find out. But it doesn’t take long for others to notice an opening and take it. Not in this city. 

Amir hasn’t noticed yet. You only noticed because, well, when you have a vigilante for a boyfriend, you’re guaranteed a crash course in all manners of suspicious activity and whether danger is on the horizon. 

And danger is very much on the horizon. 

You already pressed the panic button on your watch, though. Tim outfitted it. A standard WayneTech smartwatch configured with a panic button that sends your location to him and can also be sent to the others. 

It’s just a matter of continuing on your way. Keeping an ear out. Wondering when the two of you need to start running. 

A breeze flutters your sundress. You frown a little bit. You aren’t dressed for it. Not with your wedges. Neither of you are. Amir wanted to drown their sorrows in margaritas at a new restaurant in the Fashion District and you went along for moral support. They’ll probably fare better than you with their ballet flats. 

You do have a taser. Voltage as debilitating as Dick’s escrima sticks. Or so Tim tells you. You’ve, fortunately, never encountered those up close and personally. 

You hope it won’t get that far. You are strong and independent. But strong and independent can only get you so far in a city like this and you are secure enough to not mind relying on your boyfriend for help. Especially since he’s, you know. A vigilante. 

Any of them could help. You don’t mind. Send Cass or Steph or Helena. They can save you any day. 

But that’s not necessary. 

A choked yelp stops you. Amir stops their rambling, tensing. You spare a glance over your shoulder and watch as the three men go down quickly. 

“Woah,” they mutter, the both of you now turned, watching Red Robin step away, men down for the count, hands cuffed, pained groans escaping them. 

“I didn’t hear them,” they mumble. “Shit. Shit.”

You squeeze their arm. “You okay?”

They look a little pale. Which is saying something, with their russet skin. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Just…” They shake their head, watching Tim — Red Robin — straighten up. “Never seen one of these guys in person before.”

“Me, neither.”

And that isn’t a lie. Not technically. This is your first time with Tim as Red Robin for a… prolonged period of time. And it’s… not bad. Not bad at all, you think, eyeing the imposing figure he cuts with his suit, Kevlar molding to broad shoulders and a lean, muscled figure. The shadows from the nearby street lamp make the panes of his face even sharper, prettier, in the night. 

But you have to remember your position here. This is Red Robin, one of the Bats, one of Gotham’s many vigilantes. Not Tim Drake, your boyfriend. Even if you saw him off tonight, helped clasp his cape to his suit and press the domino mask to his face, you cannot give anything away. 

“Are you two alright?” he asks and you immediately notice the modulator, changing the pitch and tone of his voice. Most likely for Amir’s sake. You hate it but understand the need. 

“Yeah,” Amir says, a little dumbfounded. “Yeah, man. I mean you…”

“You saved us,” you finish, looking at him. It’s hard to tell where his eyes might be with the white lids of the mask but the tilt of his head is in your direction. 

A spark of energy skitters up your spine as a moment passes and he drags his eyes off you. 

“Just doing my job,” he says, demure, something about it amusing to you, making you glance to the side, lips pressed together to suppress a smile. “Can I walk you two home?”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Amir says. “I’m sure you have, uh, other things to be doing right now…”

Even if that were so, Tim is unlikely to leave you two alone. If he won’t walk with you, he’ll shadow you. You know he will. And honestly, you’d like him to do it, too. But Amir is just being nice. Trying not to burden Red Robin, a figure that, arguably, has many burdens, especially regarding the city. 

“I don’t mind,” he says, then pauses and hastens to add, “as long as you two are fine with it, I mean.”

Amir looks at you, a question in their dark eyes. You just nod at them, letting them know the decision is in their hands. 

They glance back at him. “Alright. Sure. We’re not far. Won’t keep you long.”

“Like I said. I don’t mind.”

He falls into step with you, with him nearest to the street and Amir between you. For the best, probably.

For a minute, it is painfully awkward.

Well, painfully awkward for Amir.

You? You’re just trying to stave off a smile. You never quite anticipated you’d ever have to play this game of pretend with Tim but it’s… fun. A little thrilling, if you want to be truly honest. A secret the two of you share. With poor Amir caught right in the middle of it. 

“Should thank you,” Amir suddenly starts after a couple minutes of silence. “Since, like she said, you saved us.” 

“Just doing my job,” he says, echoing his earlier words. 

You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t. It’s a monumental thing, acting normally here, pretending you don’t know Red Robin personally, intimately, but your coworkers know you’re fond of the superheroes of your world, of the vigilantes of this city, particularly Red Robin, so, you think, trying to justify it, Amir would think it odd if you kept quiet this entire time. 

Even if, should they have noticed your odd silence, an entirely plausible excuse would be that you were too nervous to speak with him…

But you think his recklessness is rubbing off on you. You can’t help yourself. So —

“Doing more than that, I think, walking us home,” you say lightly, conversationally. 

An electrifying tension flexes in the air between you, despite Amir’s obvious presence physically between you, and you get hit with the nearly unbearable urge to get your hands on him. 

Doesn’t help that something about him being suited up like this sort of… really does something for you. 

The name leaves something to be desired, that’s for sure, and you’ve teased him about it since Red Robin (the restaurant) isn’t even that good, like their whole thing is bottomless fries but, like, the fries aren’t good and it’s kind of embarrassing for them. A little embarrassing for Tim. But not as embarrassing as going by Drake, that’s for sure. And sure, yeah, Red Robin is supposed to be after a bird but… you know? The connection is impossible to ignore. 

But…

Questionable naming decisions aside, the suit itself, the suit he designed, all blacks and reds with sparse accents of yellow, it’s nice. Good. Great. Flattering for the muscles you know he has. 

Your face warms. The summer heat of the night edges on uncomfortable as a different kind of heat settles inside you. 

He clears his throat. You bite your lip. 

“It’s the right thing to do. And I don’t really have anywhere else to be right now so… might as well make myself useful. Personal escort isn’t really the worst of what I sometimes have to do. Preferred, maybe.”

You barely stop yourself from saying Preferred, huh? 

Remembering your present company. 

Don’t want to tip them off. And also, they know you have a boyfriend. Would look really bad if you started flirting. Even if it is with the one vigilante you admit to liking quite a bit. But your real life romantic relationship is a little more important than what is perceived as a parasocial relationship to others.

Of course, the truth allows you to stretch those boundaries. But you only like Red Robin — really like, you mean — because you know that is Tim. Your Tim. So. 

“I’m sure we’re better company than a couple of goons,” Amir says. 

A short laugh. “You’ve got that right.”

“Prettier, too,” they add, arm tightening around yours. A teasing squeeze. 

You chuckle. 

“I would also have to strongly agree there,” he says smoothly. 

Amir hums, a curious note to it, but one you don’t get to look too closely at as they point ahead, at the brick apartment building on the next block, sandwiched between a bodega and nail salon. 

“That’s me.”

Once you get close enough to the entrance, Tim lingers behind, letting you two have your space as you follow Amir to the door. 

They dig through their tote bag, eyes on your face, barely illuminated by a dim street lamp nearby.

“I’d ask if you were going to be okay but I don’t think I need to,” they remark quietly, voice low enough to carry only to you, eyebrows arched. 

You blink. “Why not?”

A furtive glance at your vigilant (heh) guardian, who looks out at the street. Surveying your surroundings. Trying his absolute hardest not to eavesdrop on your conversation even though you know he must be dying to. Being a vigilante for over a decade erodes some of the more basic social courtesies. You don’t let him get away with it on most days. Certainly not now since it seems like something is about to be implied. 

“Sort of seems like he likes you,” they say, finally fishing out their key and fixing the bag over their shoulder. 

“I don’t think we interacted that much to get that kind of impression. Also, boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” they say, grinning now, mischief sparkling in their dark eyes. “But Tim likes Red Robin, too, doesn’t he?”

You sputter a laugh. Then catch the most minute twitch of Tim’s body in your peripheral, head moving like he wants to look before he stops himself.

You quell your laughter, lips twitching still. “You’re kidding.”

“No,” they say very assuredly, voice still low — thankfully. “I am not. Could take him home. Have a little fun.”

You laugh again. Harder. Take him home. You will take him home. (At least you hope so. He agreed to patrol but didn’t agree to stay out as late as the others like to.) It’s just you aren’t taking him home to your boyfriend. Because he is your boyfriend.

But they don’t know that. And honestly, you’re too amused to mind this whole thing. It’s funny. Tim’ll get a kick out of it, too.

“I’m just saying,” they say, shrugging, finally moving to unlock the door. “You and Timbo are definitely a nice package together. If he had any sense, he’d take the opportunity.”

“Oh my god.”

“Just saying. Text me when you get back, okay?”

You smile. “I will.”

They wink, then slip inside, door rattling shut behind them. 

It’s hard to keep a grin down. Your cheeks ache with the force of it, face hot. 

God.

Take him home. Honestly. 

Shaking your head, still grinning, you turn around. Not surprised when you find Tim already turned, looking back at you, head cocked. No pretenses to uphold here. Not anymore. The thought makes your heart pound, a dizzying kind of heat taking hold of you once more, frenetic energy crawling under your skin and making your fingers twitch to touch him. 

But that can wait.

Instead, you gesture forward and he nods. The two of you begin your walk to Rose Oaks, which is a couple more blocks ahead. 

“Seemed like you two were having fun,” he remarks a minute later. The modulator is shut off, much to your relief. Though it hardly helps your growing desire to shove him into the nearest alleyway and kiss him breathless. Worsens it, if anything, that warm, familiar tenor gliding over you. 

“Amir was being very funny.”

“Oh?”

“I believe they were implying that you liked me. With the other underlying implication that I should take you home because of it.”

“Really now.”

You bite your lip, grin uncontainable. “Mmhm. And when I brought up the whole, you know, boyfriend thing, they said, Well, he likes Red Robin, too, doesn’t he?”

That startles a laugh out of him. 

You can’t help but join. 

It eases some of the tension. Tim drifts closer, still chuckling, gloved hand brushing the small of your back.

“They’re a riot as always, then,” he says, then sobers a bit, moving closer, until your elbow brushes his ribs. “Are you okay?”

You flash him a small smile. ��I’m okay. Got a little anxious but I wasn’t alone, which sounds horrible but —”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “It makes sense. It’s worse to be on your own. I’m glad you weren’t.”

“I’m just glad you were able to get here. I wasn’t expecting you specifically but it was nice.”

“I was in the area.”

“Well, thank you,” you say, sending him a soft smile.

Fingers skim yours. “Of course.”

You walk in silence for a minute. His hand brushes yours repeatedly. Gloved, still, but you don’t mind, finally hooking your pinky with his, feeling the textured, non-slip material. Odd but not unpleasant. He gives your fingers a gentle squeeze.   

You let them wander, your fingers tangling briefly, before your thumb skims the heel of his palm, fingers tracing over his palm, then traveling upward. You’re rewarded with the barest silver of warm skin from where the glove and sleeve do not meet. Your thumb skims it once, twice, then he’s moving and you’re moving, back, back, back into an empty alleyway until you’re pressed up against the wall, his arms around you, pulling you flush against him.

Though, you aren’t actually pressed to the wall. The arms that are wrapped around you save you a couple inches between the back of your dress and the brick wall. You wouldn’t care about it, too consumed with this moment, breathless as he curls around you, but Tim does, he considers it, and you love him a little bit more because of it. 

Your heart pounds so hard, you’re certain he can feel it, with how close you two are. Even through the thick Kevlar that protects him. 

Summers in Gotham City are hot and humid. Extremely during the day and moderately during the night. It still doesn’t compare to the heat inside you, burning for him. Your hands clutch his shoulders, fingers digging into the nearly-impenetrable material until the textured grooves of it are imprinted into your skin.

Tim breathes a little unsteadily, like you, bent close, breath ghosting over your mouth, smelling sharply of mint. On longer stretches of patrol when not much happens, he chews gum to keep awake. A special kind Bruce makes in-house and can be safely swallowed or if spit out, dissolves. Better than sustaining on coffee and energy drinks since, if they need to jump into action, most of the time, they end up leaving their trash behind, getting too caught up with everything. 

They’ll go back and clean it up but you’ve heard that it’s a little annoying sometimes, having to backtrack, having to do it at the end of long nights when they’d just like to go home and crash. The gum leaves no traces and doesn’t affect them, either. 

Some of them still drink that stuff, anyway, though. Duke is fond of an atrocious combination of Monster energy drinks and Takis. Cass is, too. His influence, you’re certain. 

But now, you’d just like to taste that mint for yourself. 

“Tim,” you whisper.

“Names.”

“I’m not calling you Red Robin like this.”

A soft chuckle. The sound sends goosebumps breaking out over your skin despite the warmth of the night.

He leans his forehead to yours. You close your eyes, basking in his presence. You can smell his shampoo. Lingering bits of his cologne. He had lunch with some WE board members today. Doesn’t hurt to stay on their good side, even if he doesn’t work with WE as much as before. 

You nuzzle your nose against his cheek. He smiles. You just know it’s so terribly lovesick. Mostly because you’re wearing a similar one on your lips right now.. 

“So…”

“So?”

“About what Amir was saying… what are my chances of going home with you tonight?”

You can’t help your smile from widening into your grin, your cheeks aching with the force of it, heady affection and love rushing through you, unspooling in your chest like cotton candy. Insane how much you love him. How attracted you are to him. Doesn’t matter how long it’s been, you think it’ll always be that way. You’ll always want more. More, more, more. All that he can give.

Maybe because of his responsibilities to Gotham. Maybe because you know you won’t have him entirely because of that. Maybe just because you love him. 

Maybe all of that. 

Now isn’t the time to think on it. 

“Pretty good, I’d say.”

“Just ‘pretty good?’ Not sure if I’m happy with that.”

“I could stand to be convinced.”

That’s all you need to say.

His lips meet yours in the next second and you press that much closer to him, suddenly wishing you didn’t have the thick Kevlar between you, that you could feel his skin against yours. But that’s hardly appropriate for a Gotham alleyway so you take what you get. 

The mint makes your mouth tingle deliciously. His breath is almost cold when his lips part, teeth nipping your bottom lip, eliciting a shudder from you. The kiss deepens, stealing your breath, mind blanking, the drag of his tongue against yours making your knees weak, a bit too hot and heavy for right now, a bit too intense, but not unwelcome, no, not at all. He gets like this sometimes, from the adrenaline of what he does, and you hardly mind alleviating the fervent energy inside him. Although alleviating might be too kind a word. Right now, you think, your nails scratching through his hair, windswept and windblown from patrol, a quiet, wanting sound escaping him at the feeling, you two have become more like a feedback loop, endlessly repeating, his desire feeding yours and yours feeding his. 

You don’t imagine he is complaining. 

You’re panting when you two separate and his lips are red more than pink now, on their way to being swollen. You’d love to see that to completion. Among other things. 

Tim can tell. Lips pulling upward. Smug. Pleased. You enjoy the sight too much to knock him down a couple pegs. Not to mention you’re still trying to get your brain back online. Always takes a bit when he kisses you like that. All open wanting and desire, like he wants to consume you. The thought makes your face hot. More hot.

“Patrol?” you ask breathlessly. Just a confirmation before you take the plunge.

“Wouldn’t start something I couldn’t finish, gorgeous. So? What’s the verdict?”

You take a deep breath. “The verdict is… take me home. Right now.”

“Gladly.”

[ravenousgoblin]

Dungeons and daddies characters that I think wouldn’t care if I called them “girl”.

KEEP IN MIND THAT AT THE TIME OF POSTING THIS I HAVE NOT FINISHED S2 SO I MAY INCLUDE SOME STUFF THAT IS MAYBE CANONIZED LATER OR EVEN DISPROVED LATER IN THE SEASON. OTHER THINGS ARE ALSO JUST HEADCANONS SO FUCK OFF.

1. Glenn Close. You can’t tell me that as a bff or significant other of Glenn, if you ran up to him to spill the tea and were like “GIRL” or even “bitch guess what” he wouldn’t immediately get excited and be like “omg girl whaaaaat”

2. Henry Oak. We all known Henry tries his best to embrace all and all his hippie shit, however I believe this is because of a few things. Henry isn’t afraid to be in touch with that femininity, henry has canonically had at least 1 bf and has slept with at least 1 other male alongside his wife, you can’t tell me Barry Oak and probably quite a few other Oakvalians aren’t homophobic and transphobic and that they wouldn’t refer to him as terms trying to be derogatory but Henry takes them in stride and says fuck you.

3. Nicky. Whether we’re assessing Nicky pre or post Jodie, I don’t think it matters. I am a firm believer in transmasc Nicky and I think while he is a cutie lil trans boy I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t love the idea of being included when you are spillin the tea or being a silly and call him ‘girl’.

4. Scam Likely. Girl, Scam be scammin and Scam, while usually referred to as male, is a cousin of the library, a horrific eldrich being. Scam is Heckin shapeshifter brother. I think, like Nicky, he would just enjoy being included. Me and Scam be sippin tea every Wednesday at lunch and he calls me “bitch” “whore” and “babe”. I call him, or them rather, “babygirl”, “girl”, slut”, and “bestie”. They also love when you tell them they’re serving cunt

5. Taylor Swift. Now, I hate this. Taylor I believe would love it, HOWEVER, I take 1d20 psychic damage minimum when Taylor opens his mouth, so I wouldn’t hang out with him, let alone call him ‘girl’

6. Normal Swallows-Oak-Garcia. Now, with this, I think that it only lasts a little bit. I think that while Normal is trying to find who is he without Teeny the Teen, he questions a lot about himself, sexuality and gender identity at the very least(see: obsession with Hermie). With this I think he would absolutely try out some different pronouns and such, even tossing the idea of she/her or she/they etc around. Overall I think he sticks to he/him, but he definitely tried it and asked to be referred to as such while he was going through this period of finding himself and is OVERJOYED when you comply and treat him like the girlypop he is for as long as he is comfortable with before reverting.

Some honorable mentions are: Paeden, Yeet Bigly, and Mark Likely. However, they were not included for specific reasons.

Paeden was taken into consideration, however, two factors disqualified him. 1. He has the soul of Frank Wilson and I don’t think any of the omega daddies would let you get away with calling them “girl” and 2. Paeden is very proud of who he is, both as Paedon and Frank and would prefer you refer to him as what he sees, which is fair.

Yeet Bigly was taken into consideration, however, I believe Yeet would only allow his sister, Killa Demall to do it. They are very close and I think they gossip all day long and have a great time, but I think only Killa could get away with it. It’s special sister privilege.

And Mark Likely was taken into consideration, mainly because of the relation to Scam and The Library, eldrich beings and such. However, not all eldrich beings are girlies(see: dood) and I believe Mark Likely having taken on the form of my bf Dennis Anderson and also staying as identifying as he/him(as far as memory serves) as Mark Likely, I don’t find it likely that Mark would be a girly. That is not to say that he would be mad, just that he would ask you not to.

[cxhleel108]

LITG S8 Thots for this week: I barely have any???😭😭😭

• Hideaway scene wasn’t as lame as I thought it would be but of course they just had to include THE BOX once again! That whip cream so damn old I’m surprised it ain’t grew legs and ran away yet.

• Why does Hazel actually hate Hari’s guts like wtf did he do😭😭😭

• Outfit time!

• Not bad! Not bad at all!

• Whoever that ho was that went on a date with Oakley and sat on her phone the whole time…you on my list now bitch cuz how dare you?

• Me trying to find where he said that.

• So Hazel been upset this whole time because Hari was honest about not having feelings for her…Ugh don’t piss me OFF why did they have to ruin her and make her stupid too!

• Ok now let’s get into these prom dresses.

• Let’s give Fusebox their 10s for at least not curating a lineup of shit clothes for the final!

• The girls dresses…no shade I’m winning best dressed let’s be real now.

• Us matching stoppppppp. He look so damn good.

• The other boys outfits…once again, no shade but Oakley’s taking best dressed.

• This is like the most normal way they’ve ever described us twerking😭😭😭

• Girl helpkssmdndndn

• Idk why Oak thought Suck and Blow was gonna help Hazel and Hari get along but at least he tried.

• Hazel you finna make me so mad like cut this shit out bro😭

• I kinda ate that.

• Hot tub scene was kinda hot.

• Gee I wonder who’s finna win 1st place!

• Wait this made me a lil sad Claudia was a great villa bestie fr🥺

• Wow we won shocker!

• That call with Oak’s dad was cute.

• Oh not this shit againmsndnskamsms. Like who tf is thaaaaattt?????

• So even if you suffered through Season 5 and got with Finn y’all still don’t last together? Justice for Season 5 MC like fuck this is why I head-canoned my girl with someone from another season😭

• Finn don’t even try to proposition me with the way they got you looking now cuz uh uhhhh.

• Almost chose money just cuz this shit was so boring god I hope the reunion wakes some tea up!

[five-rivers]

A Star is Born!

AO3

@astatia-ghast

After revealing himself as a ghost (as a hero) (as an inhuman monster), Danny had gotten used to people staring at him.  Even people who had known him for a long time.  Especially people who had known him for a long time.  Something something, couldn’t reconcile the person they knew with the person they admired, according to Jazz.  

Danny had, honestly, enjoyed the attention at first.  It was kind of like with the Yetis!  But the thrill of being invited to every party wore thin fast.  Now he just ignored it the best he could.  

Today, however, was different, and it was really getting on his nerves.  Today, there was giggling.  

So, he normally didn’t mind giggling, but it was coinciding with an awful lot of pointing and whispering.  That, he was less fond of.  

Still.  What could he do about it?  Other than be annoyed.  He was going to do that anyway.  He got his breakfast (the lunch ladies were staring) and sat down at his usual table to wait for Tucker.  Sam was taking a zero period cooking class, and wouldn’t meet up with them until ten minutes before the bell rang.  

“Oh my gosh!”

Danny looked up.  Tucker was standing a few paces from the cafeteria doorway.  His eyes sparkled with emotions Danny had never before seen outside of an anime.  He looked delighted.  

“Danny, dude!” said Tucker, and now he flung his arms out and to the sides so violently the stylus attached to his PDA went flying and would have been lost to the mysterious and forbidden lands behind the breakfast-line counter if not for Danny’s swift use of telekinesis.  “Where did you get those nekomimi?  They look so realistic!”

“The what?” asked Danny.  

“The cat ears!”

“What cat ears?” asked Danny.  

There was a moment of silence as the whispers stopped.  

“He doesn’t know,” hissed someone, their voice carrying easily across the cafeteria.  

“I need to film this.”  There was a mad scramble for phones, PDAs, and in one notable case a full sized TV camera that absolutely should not be on campus.  

“Tucker,” said Danny, “are you telling me that there are cat ears on my head right now?”

“I mean, I guess they could be dog or wolf ears, but, yes.”

Danny raised his hands to the sides of his heads and found his earlobe.  It felt a bit… weaker, more fragile, than it had before.  He traced the sides of his ears up and up and up and…

“Tucker,” said Danny, holding onto the very tips of his ears, “why?”

“I don’t know, man.  Didn’t Frostbite say you might get shapeshifting powers?”  Tucker shuffled forward.  “Maybe you’re thinking too hard about cats.  Do you have a tail and is it fuzzy?”

Danny opened his mouth to say no, but then experienced the always-unsettling sensation of his spine reconstructing itself while he was still human.  Then, to Danny’s mortification, there was a terrible ripping sound and a fully formed and very fluffy tail unrolled itself.  

Across the room, Paulina stood up, a determined expression on her face.  “If you do requests, can you make your eyes green and pretty and sparkly and huge and slitted like a cat’s?  I’ve always wanted to see what that would be like on a human.”

Danny wasn’t intending to take requests.  He didn’t even know what was really going on.  But no one had given his power that memo, so it did it anyway.  

“Wasn’t there a cat guy ghost alr–?” started Ashley.  

“No, we don’t talk about them,” said Paulina.  "They don't count."

More importantly for Danny, who also wanted to forget that particular ghost, the cat (boy) was out of the bag.

"What about wings?  Can you do wings?"

"Make yourself look older and you can buy beer at–"

"Younger!  I want to see what Phantom would have looked like as a baby!"

"Can you do plants?  Oak trees?  Roses?"

"Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!"

"What about other ghosts?  What about blob ghosts?"

"Ooh!  Ooh!  Can you become a cockroach?"

"No!  Don't make him be a cockroach!"

"Metamorphosis, people!" shouted Mr. Lancer.  "What is– I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream!"

It was really impressive how Mr. Lancer said that all in a single breath.  Well.  Shrieked it in a single breath.

"HI, Mr. Lancer," said Danny, miserably, having become a shambling mound, "can I call home?"

"Can you- can you not… turn back?"

There was a sort of slurping sound as Danny's various body parts rearranged themselves.  

"I don't have a good handle on it yet," said Danny, trying to affect unconcern.

"Involuntarily transforming into whatever people say?" asked Tucker, voice slightly washed out.

"Something like that, I think."  

"Well," started Mr. Lancer.  

The cafeteria doors were thrown open and Mrs. Woods strode in.  "Where is my latest drama star?"  She didn't wait for an answer before shouldering through the crowd and picking Danny up off the floor.  "There you are."

"I'm not in drama," said Danny.  

"Nonsense!  You'll be a natural.  Just imagine all the parts you could play!  We'll immerse you in the world of drama.  Acting.  Staging.  Theater!  You'll have all the drama you can stomach!"

"But I don't want any drama," Danny tried protesting again, but she was already dragging him off.  "To the stage."

"Mrs. Woods!  I don't think I can stomach anything!"

"That's fine!  Many are the great actors who barred from stage fright!"

"It's not stage fright!"  It might have been a little stage fright, but becoming a loose heap of assorted body parts via shapeshifting not five minutes ago was playing a much larger part in his reticence.  "Mrs. Woods, I can’t–"

"There is no can't in drama, only yes and!"

"Isn't that improv?!" wailed Danny as she carried him through the door.  

“Yes, and?”

“My elective is astronomy!”

“And I’m electing to ignore it!”

“Holly!” called Mr. Lancer.  “You can’t just kidnap students!  The time to change classes is over!  We’re halfway through the term, for love of education!”

Like this would be any more okay if it was still the beginning of the term.  

“An exception can be made!”

Sometimes, Danny wondered if Mrs. Woods was a ghost.  She certainly acted like it, sometimes.  Either way, he’d had enough.  He phased out of Mrs. Woods’s grip.  

“No!” she hollered, even as Danny hid behind a horribly out-of-breath Mr. Lancer.  “My star!”

A door down the hallway opened up.  “Are you looking for me?” asked Star.  “Can it wait?  I’m making up a test.”

“It’s not about you,” said Danny.  

“Great,” said Star.  She eyed Mrs. Woods.  “Good luck, or whatever.”  She shut the door with a clunk.  

“So, uh.  Can I go home?” asked Danny.  

“Go to the office and ask if your parents can sign you out.”

“I can fly–”

“You’re sick, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You need your parents to sign you out.”

“William,” said Mrs. Woods.  “You can’t do this to me!  I supported your bid for a field trip to the Shakespeare festival!”

“You did that for your own reasons!”

Danny, wisely, slunk away.  He definitely wouldn’t be coming back until he could control his new shapeshifting powers.

[ratsoh-writes]

Their SO got cursed with speaking backward for a week. Main10

I mis-read the ask and realized you meant for SO to be cursed, but I wrote the skeletons as cursed instead. Sorry but I hope you like it

Sans: you’d think he wouldn’t know any backwards puns, but this skeleton continues to impress disappoint you lol. The curse doesn’t hold sans back at all

Papyrus: he will force his words out one way or another!!! After a VERY confusing and loud first day, papyrus begins speaking normally again, if somewhat slower. How? The clever bag of bones just started saying his words backwards, forcing the curse to make it sound like he’s speaking normally. Isnt paps the coolest?

Star: this is a week of torture for him. He can’t talk?? Star loves to talk!!! He’s a sulky baby all week. It feels like he’s gonna explode with all that energy and those feelings but no way to express them. The second the curse wears off, poor SO will be stuck in a long long conversation with him.

Honey: lol, this is annoying, until honey realizes the curse only applies to English! Hah! Take that curse, he has 8 alternative languages to choose from! … too bad SO doesn’t know any of them. Oh well thats what Google translate is for

Red: his English might be backwards, but his other languages aren’t! .. granted red only knows how to curse in them, but that’s all he needs really. Red just sticks to his non English smack talking when it’s needed, and writes what he says for everything else

Edge: all week he’s SEETHING. This, this is the worst thing you can possibly curse edge with. This is torture, pure anarchy, the firefly depths of hell scorching his soul. When edge comes out of it, he leaves the house so that he can curse at the trees and rant out his fury. Not even his SO gets to know what he’s been feeling all week.

Mal: he can gossip just fine using a note pad and pen, but he’s rather disgruntled that his snarky comments just don’t have the same bite in writing. But his SO still giggles at them all the same. So he’s not too mad

Cash: a silent cash is a cash getting into trouble. Every one is on edge despite knowing he’s cursed lol

Oak: he keeps forgetting he’s cursed and will speak gibberish confusing his SO. Then poor oak is puzzled as to why his words aren’t coming out right. It’s a long week for oak and SO both.

Willow: like papyrus, he finds a way around the curse, although it takes him a bit longer. Sometimes though he pretends the curse is still working so he can get out of uncomfortable conversations lol

[serikyl]

(strolls into fantasy tavern, accidentally hits the unfollow button instead of the ask button like a clumsy idiot, refollows with a very embarassed facial expression because I planned on being a lot more suave about this, leans on the bar counter)

So...I hear there's someone around here with kiddad's head canons?

*smacks hands against counter with a look of immeasurable glee* *pours you a colorful little drink of unknown content with a little umbrella in it* ((there is so much edible glitter involved))

I HAVE SO MANY!!!! : D

Okay okay so lets start with!!!!!!

My most favorite twins ever!!! Lark and Sparrow

I know a lot of people think they have long hair, to me, they both keep it very short now bc when Lark was like sixteen, a doodlerized something grabbed it and it messed with his paranoia, he and Sparrow shaved it together in the bathroom at like 3am, then Sparrow sat for his turn without a word, and now they always keep it matching like this

Lark and Sparrow have matching friendship bracelets that Sparrow made one year, Lark’s is green and Sparrow’s is red

The Oak Household used a talking stick for a long time, then Lark got mad one night and snapped it over his knee. He felt bad about it later, and the next morning it was found carefully glued back together

I don’t know if Lark has a day job, but if he does, nobody knows what it is, the other kiddads assume it’s something questionably legal, weapon sales probably, Lark always pays his portion of household bills and Sparrow isn’t sure he wants to know. The truth is, it’s a perfectly normal job, he’s a Geek Squad guy at Best Buy. Lark finds comfort in being able to sit in the back fixing things, he hates talking to customers. So. Much.

Sparrow is a cavetown fan, Lark secretly really likes beachy music like margaritaville but would die if anybody but Sparrow found out

Lark’s favorite fruit is lemons, Sparrow’s is strawberries. Lark can’t handle sweet flavors, he prefers sour, while Sparrow is the opposite.

Nick’s turn!!!!

So! During the Nick/Narc fusion, the magic couldn’t remove Glenn without unmaking Nick entirely, so it just added in Jodie. If you tested Nick’s DNA, which Glenn and Jodie did during an argument once bc they’re goofs, it would come back that Glenn and Jodie are both his bio dads, Morgan his bio mom. Because magic doesn’t give a shit about what our science says is impossible.

Nick has a Thing about vehicle safety, he doesn’t care if it’s an emergency or if it’s a five minute drive, everyone is putting on their goddamn seatbelts if he has to climb over and buckle them in himself. He also won’t drive in the rain.

Nick, in his Glenn memories, tried to dye a red streak in his hair and ended up a weird shade of orange bc he didn’t calculate for hair type. He wore a beanie for weeks until Glenn came home. After he finished laughing, Glenn had to help him fix it.

Demons burn so hot that Nick always feels a little chilly, even in the california heat. He’ll be wearing a jacket on an 85° day and people look at him weird, but the planet is so cold compared to Hell.

Nick’s favorite pizza is called “Everything Pizza”, it was something he’d make when he was struggling in the Glenn memories because it was easy. Everything Pizza changes every time you eat it, it also lead to Nick inventing what he calls “the Pizzarito” which is Everything Pizza folded up like a burrito. The other kiddads tell him it’s just a calzone, Nick hates calzones and insists it’s different. Pizzaritos have been banned from DADDIES HQ because somehow that argument always gets started.

Demons need a lot of both sugar and meat in their diets, and Nick now has an insane sweet tooth that would make most people lose their teeth

Oh! and! One of the things Nick struggles with post Nick/Narc fusion outside of the identity crises is how the demonic side of him has changed his body. Half of him feels like the sharp a few too many teeth and slightly pointed ears are features he’s had his entire life, and the other is kind of freaked out by how very Not Human he suddenly looks

Nick’s least favorite vegetable is asparagus, this is a trait he shares with Glenn. They both make the same face about it, wrinkled nose, tongue out

Terry Jr!!!!

I love Terry so much, I have a bunch for him!!! :’D

Terry is considered the de-facto leader of DADDIES, he is the only one levelheaded enough for the job I think. It’s not an official position, but he is pulling double duty as their leader and their tactician

This man lives on coffee, he is a 6 cups a day kind of guy. He started drinking it as a way to remember Terry Sr, who really loved coffee. He both loves the different kinds, as well as cannot function without it.

Whenever Terry has reached his limit he threatens to buy a boat and go live in the middle of the ocean where none of this is his problem and he will never have to see any of these people again. ((He has never gone through with this threat, it’s kind of his escape fantasy))

Terry and Grant have a minor long-standing feud about a drawer in HQ, it is Terry’s, it is a mess, it is organized in a system that only makes sense to Terry, there are so many sticky notes involved, it drives Grant’s OCD crazy, he wants to pick the lock on the drawer and reorganize it. Terry does not want it organized. Sparrow has enchanted the lock so Grant cannot pick it, keeping them locked in a stalemate.

Terry’s favorite food is blueberries, he can exclusively cook pasta dishes

Every so often, Terry has what I call a “Cones Of Dunshire” level breakdown where be throws himself into a deeply over complicated project like designing and building a board game

Terry and Lark have kissed exactly once, in a really weird game of chicken like that scene in friends where Phoebe and Chandler kiss. Terry is Phoebe, Lark is Chandler, Nick is Monica, Sparrow is either Joey or Ross, and Grant is Rachel in the scene, this is one of my favorite silly ones afsgshsjsjs

Grant’s turn!!!!

Grant and Terry dated in high school, it was a right person wrong time situation, and Grant has two soulmates: Terry and Marco

Grant developed OCD after the chimera incident, he likes to keep things clean and orderly because he can’t forget the feeling of the blood in his hair

Grant and Lark have semi-colon tattoos for each other, they’re bad for each other and tend to spiral down together, but they respect the battles. each other fights with mental illness, they claim to have a “warrior’s bond”

Grant’s favorite color is bright orange, I don’t know why, it’s a color I’ve associated with him since ep 1

[eliothedud9000]

my silly little episode notes

this was very fun i want to start doing this for every episode

i really liked how family bases this episode was with the closes and stamplers/marlowes

i cant wait until we see the oaks!!

!! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 45 OF SEASON TWO !!

Episode 45

Oooooo intro

Anthony the penne patriot

Pasta ew the eating sounds wtf

YES THE HEAVEN CRITICISM LOL

WELCOMETODUNGEONSANDDADDIESNOTABDSMPODCAST-

The theme song went on longer than usual..? Not complaining but huh 

Will is having a stroke ig

Taylors fact: Taylor may no longer be a ranger but he misses being able to disguise himself as a trash can and being pushed on a stage

2 1/2 months of the senses???

Mr boss kicks fact: linc’s bathroom regimen revealed!? he puts all his clothes in the laundry and puts on a new pair of clothes every time he goes to the bathroom. ALSO HE DOESNT DO HIS OWN LAUNDRY??

Normal fact abt normal: normal is the FOUNDER of the school yearbook club. A book club about the yearbooks at San Demis high. They had an alumni guest last month. Normal was the only one there. His audience is usually just kids who think its the real yearbook club

Scarys fact: she has a favorite planet which is mercury because mercury has the longest day which means it also has the longest night. The longest time to write poetry and focus on regrets and be sad. (Even tho Venus has the longest day)

HERMIE FACT OMFG: hermie didn’t have a childhood and he was conjured as a freshman with memories of being alive as a child. Not real memories tho. Scam thought it was the funniest part of someone’s life

scam tf??

poor hermie he doesn't even know :(

recap: They need to fill the magic jar with daddy magic to send the doodler back to his own dimension

AND THEY FOUND TERRY FIGHTING WITH GLENN

I MISSED YOU TERRYYYYYYY

Terry is the one who shot nicks arm off and glenn is mad (for a good reason tho-)

Scary is freaked out poor scary

But Terry you messed up buddy

Oh shit is Terry going to die forever

AND HES COUNTING ON IT???? 

Oh shit Terry don’t cry you don’t deserve this- 

AHHHHHH RON AND TERRY REUNION THIS IS SO CUTE SHIT MAN THE HUG OMG

Damn these imps are wild-

Normal you have been exposed…….. release your emotions!!!

Well normal since you’re crying you should put it in the jar-

Scary and Terry omg. Reunion. Reunion. Asdfghgfdgfs

She’s saying it was just a phase oh shit??!?!!!!!!!

Damn

Terry

Terry

Buddy

You don’t deserve this

You dumb suicidal idiot

SCARY AND TERRY OMG ADSFDGFHJGHFGDFHFJG SHES HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HES HAPPY TO SEE HER AASFDGFHDGFSGFDH

Terry takes the jar omg

No he’s crying :(

Ron?

In a field?

nick has been avoiding them, and they’re trying to be friends again ok

Nick walked out of the brush and into the cleaning

And Ron is…. Talking about his hair…..

Ron you’re going to beef it.

They want to take the people here into hell… thats why he’s upset

Ron wow you are very wise.

I fucking love the stamplers adsfergrtbrgjmt4igjn

“You become the person you choose to be around”

Lark and sparrow and Terry don’t attack him!!!!

:(

Oh shit

TERRY

NO

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

NICK WAS GOING TO TALK TO YOU

FUCK FUCK BADASS SAD FIGHT :(

Unrelated why did I just get a message from someone asking for a picture of myself????

NICKS ARM

OMG

NICCKKKKYYYY

TERRY

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

RUN NICKY RUN

Honestly Terry that’s what you get

Don’t cut someones fucking arm off

“You lied to me kiddo”

Oh no

Ron

“I don’t think you’ve been someone you’d choose to hang around with lately”

TERRY DONT CRY 

AW I FEEL BAD

TERRY ANDF SCARY HUGGING AND SHR HUGS BACK OMG OMG OMGASGDHJTHJFDG

SHE SAW HIM AT HER SOCCER GAME

OMG

IM GONNA CRY

HER BIO DAD WAS NEVER THERE

BUT TERRY WAS

AND HES CRYING LOUDER

OMIGOSH THE STAMPLERS

SORRY STAMPLER/MARLOWES 

HALFWAY JAR

The remaining families are the close and oak

ASDCFVGHBJNKMLJNHY TERRY AND SCARY HOLY SHIT

SCARYYYYYYYYY YOUU SAID I LOVE YOU OMGOMGOGTJHRGJRUJHJVDU HOLY FUCK OFGJGFIDGHJD

IM GONNA CRY ISTG

Glenn stop fighting 

Terrys fine

Chill

“I don’t forgive you for what you did but I get it. I understand” good for you nick

Yes Taylor glenn is the coolest motherfucker

Yikes

Glenn wasn’t there for Taylors birth…

Damn nick is passive aggressive (its deserved tho)

Glenn are you fucking kidding me-

TAYLOR IS BORNED

“You want to cut the umbilical chord dawg?”

Its a chill doctor

Uh oh here comes glenn

And he’s passed out and high as fuck

Great

#1 dad award

“Youre a granddad now-“ “whaaaaaaaatttt”

Aw nick 

That’s so sweet he doesn’t want Taylors first sight of his granddad to be bad

What book is glenn reading?

Jodis been there a bunch of times and glenn hasn’t. What an ass ngl

“Hell yeah bro what a cool kid…” 

The first time glenn has seen himself in the third person

And he sees the reality

OMG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?????

MY HEART-

Taylor

Omg

You just destroyed nick

Then again obviously he wanted his dad in his life

Too little too late Nicky my man

:(

I just want to hug them all

Fuck

The closes are fucked up

Yikessssss

Taylor did 23 and me and just saw fire and the cops showed up

Nice

Uh oh 

Nick

NICK ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR NOT BEING THERE FOR YOUR KID

DONT BLAME IT ON THE OTHER DADS

YESSSS THEY MESSED UP 

BUT

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY WHERE ITS NEEDED

Taylor wanted his dad for when he was getting his yellow belt at mall karate

And the parents applauded 

And taylor looked to the crowd

His mom is there

But

His dad isn’t there

And another kid got a dad hug and got to get ice cream and poor Taylor got to skip a belt but WHAT ABOUT HIS DAD.

And he gets kicked out from karate 

;-;

YOU SHOULD BE SORRY NICK

“I think you fucked up in the same way too”

GLENN 

SERIOUSLY.

“Where were you nick >:( “ bitch-

Glenn thought that if he kept his distance in hell then he wouldn’t be a bad influence on nick 

Aww

:(

“What if we started over?”

THEY ALL GO TO DISNEYLAND AW

I WOULD LOVE THAT

Taylor doesn’t know what Disneyland is lol

Omg

There is no fixing it

Shit

This is the best its going to get

All these families are so fucked

“Dw thats just the gunfire level…”

“NOPE NOPE THATS NOT THE GUNFIRE LEVEL”

Ew the government :|

OHEMGEE SCHMEGANNN

Wait full control of hell-

OH NO

HOLY SHIT

The background music slaps tho-

Jodi says in morse code: get nick and Taylor out

I like Jodi

Hes a good guy

Oh no

Don’t fire at glenn

“Is glenn immune to bullets?”

NEW KING OF HELL 

LINC 

WHAT

NEW KING??????

NORMAL?????!?!?!?!?!

TAYLOR??!???!?!?

WHO IS IT GOING TO BE???!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?

Hell is locked down and no one is leaving until they have a new leader

And now they are going to fight 

HOLY SHIT

SCHMEGAN

“Only one gets to leave alive”

So overall thoughts…. Good episode. Kinda went by quick tho but could’ve been because I split it up instead just listening to it all in one sitting

After this fight and hell leader thing I feel like will is just gonna drop a bombshell of family angst and problems on us when its time for the oaks to give their daddy magic. 

But Terry and scarys reunion omg 

I was about to cry it was so cute

[radical-fire-vixen]

What the fuck is wrong with you? You say you’re a feminist and then leave out whole swathes of women just because they don’t ’have the right genitals’ ? Get off your high horse and just say you’re a bigot. Plain and simple. Trans folks aren’t hurting you by being themselves, what gives you the right to judge them? You preach about bodily autonomy and then condemn people who get the medical help they need to become their best selves. Touch some fucking grass. Or better yet, some poison oak.

sorry, only females belong in feminism lmao. including males means including the oppressor class. ‘leave out whole swathes of women’ rad feminism includes all female humans, and transwomen are male and therefore not included or even wanted in feminism. stop being intellectually dishonest; it’s obvious and pathetic.

we’re also literally oppressed because of our genitals. more than that, our genitals cannot be represented in art because it’s literally illegal in several countries like Japan to make yonic art. but more to the point, bio sex is not just the genitals, it’s literally the whole body that is sexed. every single mitotic cell in your body is sexed. die mad about it, bucko.

oh, what gives me the right to judge them is the fact that they and y’all throw fucking fits over reality being mentioned. seriously, i’ve seen so many transwomen throw the biggest fits whenever the topic is about menstruation, pregnancy, and/or abortion, because they know intrinsically that they will never experience those things due to being male. and when trans people make it harder for women to achieve liberation, and for homosexuals to be accepted as the normal people they are, when the trans ideology is quite literally antithetical to what feminism actually means and fights for, then i and many others have a huge fucking problem with trans people.

this ask just reeks of you never sticking your head out of your echo chamber/the sand/your ass except to get mad and pissy at us normal people. go touch a biology textbook without crying, you fucking illiterate loser.

oh, if it was poison ivy you told me to go touch, i’d just tell you that i have touched poison ivy, and it literally didn’t even affect me at all, and i was walking through it barefoot. because as it turns out, only 1/3 of humans actually react to it with terrible itching. but what you should touch is the manchineel tree. while it’s raining. because that’s how painful it is to deal with you gender freaks. now fuck off.

[dmwrites]

In terms of maps, Joe Hills considered himself well acquainted with them. He mapped out the world, making it easier for his fellow hermits to get around. It was a job he took seriously, but also enjoyed because he got to see more of the land then most ever would.

There was one section left now, a corner off by the new edge of the world border. Joe sighed at it before grabbing his trident and taking off.

“I’m going to blame doc. Like, I know by technicality it’s nobody’s fault that the world border moved, but, like, let’s be honest… he doesn’t call himself a mad redstone genius for no reason.” Joe told himself as he glided along. It was a nice break, at least, from the caves he had been lighting up all week.

Joe considered himself pretty average at identifying things that seem out of the ordinary, even if ordinary usually didn’t exist on the hermitcraft server. Now, how he identified that things were out of the ordinary were often strange, unorthodox ways.

This is a long way of saying that Joe caught sight of something bright blue moving on the other side of the world boarder, and then proceeded to crash into said world boarder while distracted.

“Yo man, you okay?”

Joe scrambled to his feet in shock, and came face to face with another person staring at him from across the world boarder. The person was wearing a bright blue onesie and looked very confused. Joe felt that.

“I’ll be okay. Umm, who are you?” Joe asked, his voice shooting up an octave. He had this weird urge to start laughing.

“Connor… and who are you?” Connor was like no person Joe had ever met, and Joe had met a lot of weird people. He looked so normal, but also who wears a onesie out side of the house?

“Howdy Connor, I’m Joe Hills, standing as I always do at the world boarder. And, I must admit, I’m very confused right now.”

“Same, dude.” Connor looked up towards the sky. “What’s this force field for anyway?” He pressed against it, but it didn’t budge.

“Well, this is the world boarder, which I just mentioned if you were paying attention. We can’t go beyond it. Random question, but do you know anyone by the name of DocM77? Were you created by a creeper dude?”

“No? What the hell kind of question is that?” Connor paused, thinking. “I was once thrown in jail by a creeper dude though. Named Sam. I don’t think he’s a doctor, though.”

“No, no.” Joe said distractedly. “Well, okay, let me just-” He sat down on the grass, just a tad overwhelmed. Connor sat down too and didn’t say anything. “Okay, so, how did you get here? I guess that would be a good thing to ask. Are you a new hermit? I don’t remember X mentioning anyone new, but I might not have been paying attention.”

“Hermit? No, I’m Connor.” Connor replied, ripping up grass mindlessly. “I think I got lost somewhere along the line. I was looking for a nametag- you don’t happen to have a name tag, do you? I just caught a fish.”

Joe checked his pockets. “Sorry, looks like I don’t. What were you going to name your fish?”

Connor sighed contemplatively. “I was thinking either Little Penis 2 or Unfucked Sally.”

“Those are awful names.” Joe told him. “What about Yolonda or Dark Oak Slab?”

“That second one has potential.” Connor mused. “But, like, I gotta get out of here first if I ever want to name that fish. Do you know which direction the Dream Smp is?”

“What’s that?” Joe asked.

“Uhhh, okay, what about Dream? Do you know how I can contact Dream?”

“Who’s that?” Joe asked.

“Right.” Connor sighed, clearly giving up. “It’s fine, I’ll just figure it out or die of starvation. It’s fine.” Joe blinked at the other guy’s rather blatant apathy towards dying in the wilderness, far away from home. It wasn’t that he wouldn’t say the exact thing in Connor’s position, but he’d never met someone with a similar view. Connor caught sight of his face, and must have guessed what he was thinking about. “Yeah, I mean, death and I have always had a weird relationship, so, like, who cares if she takes me and throws me at a wall or something.”

“I feel similarly!” Joe leaned his head on his hands. “Death likes to play games with me, keep itself entertained. I’m a little Joe puppet for it to giggle at.”

Connor smiled at that, but he had a curious look in his eyes, actually fully looking at Joe for the first time since they’d met. “Joe, question for ya. Have you ever traveled through time?”

“Only forward in that steady march of time.” Joe said with a nod. “Wait, why would you ask that?”

Connor shook his head, looking a bit sadder then before. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He looked smaller then before, somehow. He looked very lonely in the wide expanse of land behind him.

Joe and Connor sat on either side of the world boarder, just kind of trying to not look at each other while also trying to study each other.

“If you want, I could ask if X could let you in somehow. I feel like you could fit in here. Do you know anything about pinball machines?” Joe asked after a bit.

Connor shook his head. “No, sorry, but I really should get back to my house.” There was something gritty about the way Connor said house, like it was just a dark and damp building, not a home. Not his real home.

“I’m serious. You can come stay with me. Maybe I can help, or maybe someone else can.” Joe leaned forward earnestly, nose touching the boarder. “We can help you.”

Connor stood up. “Sorry Joe. You seem like a nice person, but I have to go.” He turned to walk away but stopped and turned back around to Joe. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong?” Joe asked, but Connor either didn’t hear him or just didn’t answer. Joe watched him until he couldn't see the bright blue onesie anymore. Maps forgotten, Joe flew off, back to spawn, an uneasy calm washing over him.

[erodasfishtacos]

It’s Just Me (mini blurb)

if you enjoyed this fic - PLEASE reblog, rec, like, and come chat with me about the fic!

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———————

It was a terrible twos kind of day. The kind of day when YN can’t tote Ivy along to a charity organization brunch because she would meltdown.

Harry had her in his office with him, she was sitting on a blanket Harry had laid out, and was quietly playing with her stuffed animals (mostly seals.)

Occasionally, she would babble to herself and get pissed of at her inatimate playmates, ending in her tossing it to the side.

He caught himself just staring at her, smiling as he watches the little human he and his soulmate created right in front of him.

When his phone rings, he automatically picks it up, professionally stating, “Styles.”

“Hi, this is Dan from Payroll,” The guys voice was already shaking and Harry knew he was about to get really pissed off.

“How can I help you?” He asks in a tone that’s was definitely did not sound like he wanted to provide any assistance.

There is a pregnant pause before Dan nearly stutters, “Er, I accidentally missed reviewing the marketing departments hours and they did not receive their last paycheck.”

Harry takes a very deep breathe because he wants to do what he normally would - scream through the phone at this idiot.

However, he can’t because his curly haired little baby is playing with her toys in the middle of the office with a smile.

“Please come up to my office,” Harry replies curtly before hanging up.

He gets up, goes over to his daughter, and squats in front of her, “Ivy, baby.”

She looks up at him with a toothy grin before reaching over to hand him a stuffed seal, “Play, daddy.”

Harry thumbs over a stray curl on her forehead, “Daddy can’t, my love. I need y’to go with Granny Dor for a little.”

Ivy had been very clinging to both YN and Harry recently. She had a fit when YN dropped her off, despite how happy she was to see her dad.

Her brows furrow, lips purse, and Harry has to laugh because she looks like a carbon copy of him with the sour face.

“Oh, no mean looks t’daddy,” He hums with his own frown, “S’just for a moment, m’dove.”

“No.”

“Ivy, y’need to listen.”

And Harry knows it coming, she sucks in a huge breathe and then just lets out a scream in protest of him.

“Ivy Elizabeth Styles, y’do not scream. Y’know better. Are we going to have to take a timeout or are you going to go sit nice with Dor?” Harry’s voice is still softer than he’d use with any of him employees but extremely firm to her.

“No timeout, daddy,” She mumbles, her volume decreasing significantly as she lowers her gaze from her father’s.

“Alright, then c’mon. Thank you for listening,” Harry praises, gathering up her toys for her and leading her into his waiting room where Dorothy is typing away on her computer.

“Dor, Dan is coming up and I need to have a private meaning. Will y’watch her for a little?”

Ivy is already clambering up into her lap, into the warmth of her arms, and nuzzling in - because Granny Dor spoiled her silly.

Harry rolls his eyes, muttering, “And you and YN say I spoil her too much. Bloody ridiculous.”

Dorothy just shoos him away, readjusting Ivy’s bow, and combing through her hair softly to simmer her down a little.

Dan trails in solemnly soon after to face his inevitable doom.

He sees his boss’ daughter perched on the secretary’s lap and he wonders how such a sweet little thing could be created from the demon of a man.

As Harry and Dan meet, Ivy gets wriggly and squirms off of Dorothy’s lap.

“Stay close,” She murmurs to the toddler as she picks up her phone to answer a call for Harry.

Of course, Ivy doesn’t listen, and she noticed that the door to her father’s office is cracked open just the littlest bit.

It’s enough for her to slip through the space between the heavy doors and toddles on, she’s blocked by the leather couches so Harry can’t see her.

“I have givin’ you so many fuckin’ chances!” Harry seethes angrily at his employee. His tone was more like a growl than anything else.

Ivy pauses, eyes widening in fear as she hears her dad speak in a frightening manner she’s never heard before.

“I…There was a coding error that I had been distracted with, it won’t happen again,” Dan insists, knowing he had actually committed a fireable offense.

“You are absolutely correct because you’re fucking fired,” Harry replies, no wavering in his raspy register.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Dan explodes, “It’s unfucking fair treatment! It was one mistake, you fuckin’ asshole!”

There’s a moment of silence.

“I can fuckin’ show you unfair treatment. Get the fuck out of my office and learn how to do your goddamn job,” Harry retorts, his voice rising as well.

Ivy is stuck in her spot, frozen in surprise at hearing the arguing and how mad her father sounded, voice echoing through the room.

“You listen to me-“

“Get the fuck out of my office!” Harry booms furiously, this employee managing to get a rise out of him.

“I was ju-“

Both the men pause when they hear a wail from behind the sofa and the sound of Ivy plopping herself on the ground.

Harry instantly is out from behind his desk and going to round the sofa in a flash with a rose of panic in his chest.

His heart drops when he sees his baby looking up at him with fear in her watery eyes and she’s literally shaking.

“Oh, baby. Did y’hear daddy bein’ loud?” Harry murmurs in his sweetest, comforting voice - uncaring of his employee hearing him.

Harry expects her to nod sadly and ask for a cuddle but she instead wriggles backwards when he goes to reach for her - out of his reach.

“Ivy, little dove, s’just y’daddy,” He tries again, sitting down in front of her - doesn’t even look up as Dan leaves quietly.

She’s scared though and has had never felt worse in his life as his daughter backs away from him until she’s getting to her wobbly feet.

He tries again, reaching his arms out, “Ivy Elizabeth, s’just daddy. M’sorry I scared you, bub.”

Ivy doesn’t budge, crying loudly with her face pinched up as hot tears run down her soft chubby cheeks.

Dorothy appears with a worried look, “I apologize, I thought she was by the table.”

“S’not your fault I’m a shitty father,” Harry mutters, standing back up and roughly brushing off his trousers.

“Oh Harry, she’s just a little frightened,” Dorothy hums, picking the girl up when she toddles quickly over to her.

Her dad trails over, “Ivy, m’love. Can you look at daddy?”

She refuses, digging her face into the woman’s shoulder, curls bouncing fiercely as she clings onto her.

Harry loved to be feared. Not like this though. Not by the child he’d literally jump in front of a train for without a second thought.

He would rather have her screaming, pitching fits, throwing toys rather than this. She was so scared that she wouldn’t even look at him.

“Let me take her on a little stroll, okay? See if I can calm her down a bit.”

—

Harry waits patiently for Dorothy to arrive back but he automatically hears his daughter’s steady stream of sniffles and whimpers.

He goes out to the waiting room to see her reentering the room, she sighs, “I think it’s time to call mummy.”

Harry had no idea how he was going to explain this to his wife. He was I trouble and he knew he deserved it.

“Hey H, is the bab okay?” YN greets warmly, chattering in the background.

“Er, she’s okay, just upset. Ivy accidentally walked in on me flipping out and firing an employee. Now she’s scared. Dor tried to calm her down and she doesn’t want to be near me right now.”

YN’s next words were calm, Harry however did not miss the sharp edge when she replies, “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

Then she hangs up on him.

Which she really never does unless she is really really upset.

—

When YN arrives, Ivy is sat on Dorothy’s lap with puffy eyes and her thumb tucked between her full lips, popping it out when she sees her mother.

“Mumma!” Ivy shrieks, tears beginning streaming down her face as she impatiently waits for her to cross the room and gives her a soft kiss to the forehead.

“Hi baby, give mummy one minute and then we’ll leave okay?” YN murmurs soothingly, thumbing of some of the tears.

Ivy nods but is standing next the secretary’s desk, waiting patiently with her thumb going right back between her lips again.

Harry’s sitting at his large oak table, looking like a guilty puppy as his wife comes in with a disapproving look on her face.

“Baby, m’sorr-“

“What the fuck, Harry? Why is our daughter out there terrified right now?” YN demands, crossing her arms to prove her anger.

“Some fuckin’ idiot messed somethin’ up and Ivy walked in while I cursed him out and fired him. She was hiding behind the couch. It was an accident,” He defends, bristling a bit.

“Even if the door was shut, she would have still heard you. You knew better than to act like that around our daughter.”

“I had to fire him,” Harry makes the lame excuse because he knows he’s in the wrong and he’s not always great at admitting he is.

“You were supposed to have Ivy for two hours and this happens. I have her all day everyday and I’ve need had an issue with controlling myself in front of others!” YN yells (quietly) at him.

“What the fuck is tha’ supposed to mean? Y’calling me a bad father? Y’have her all day with her because I work so that you can stay at home with her.”

YN rolls her eyes, “Well thank god for that, she’d be cursing and screaming at people all day everyday if she was with you all the time.”

Harry is thoroughly pissed at his wife and she is equally just as furious with him - it doesn’t happen often but when it does it’s bad.

“Y’got some fuckin’ nerve. Our baby is polite, well-mannered because of me too! Not just you, fuckin’ claiming all her good qualities,” He replies with a snarl.

“Don’t talk to me that way,” YN bites back, “I’m not one of your employees. Neither is Ivy despite you talking like that in front of her.”

Now she was just trying to push his buttons and it was well onto it’s way of working.

“Y’bein’ fuckin’ ridiculous! It was a accident and you’re acting like I did it on purpose! Fuckin’ hell!” He raises his voice in frustration.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are raising your voice at me but I’m leaving,” YN tells him, giving him one final glare before storming out of the office.

“Fuck!” He grunts, smacking cup of pens from his desk before slamming his fist on the desk.

—

Ivy was waiting patiently, whimpering when she sees her mum, and gesturing to be picked up, “It’s past your nap time, Vee.”

“Nap,” She lisps sadly, instantly curling into then familiarness that is her mother. Eyes instantly fluttering shut.

“Thank you, Dor,” YN whispers, blowing her a kiss, before trekking out of the office with the exhausted little girl.

—

Harry can’t handle the rest of the day, wants to go home, and make amends with his wife which leads him to heading out only an hour after them.

He finds YN in the den with the baby monitor propped on the coffee table, she’s watching a horror movie with a smoothie in hand.

“Hi, m’heart,” Harry murmurs cautiously, loosening up his tie until it falls limp around his neck.

She glances over at him, sarcasm lacing her tone,“So you do know how to talk without yelling at me, hmm?”

His face falls, frowning, “Hey, lovie - don’t be like tha’. Y’gonna let me apologize?”

“Come scratch my back and I’ll hear you out,” She hums, keeping a serious face.

“Y’drive a hard bargain, m’heart. Show me y’tits,” Harry begins to smile, striding over and getting her no time before he’s pulling off her shirt and sports bra.

He sits down then gently lays her down on her tummy and she rests her head in his lap, cheek pressed against his thigh.

“I shouldn’t have done that, I wasn’t thinkin’. Now I’m worried she’s gonna hate me forever,” Harry mumbles, using his blunt nails to trace up and down her back.

“You’re her favorite person. She’ll always love you more than anything,” YN tells him seriously, arching when he scratches an extra itchy spot.

“I hope so. I love her more than anythin’. A little mixture of how much we love each other. How much we worked to get her,” He sighs softly.

—

YN dozed off and Harry tucks a blanket around her bare chest.

When the baby monitor alerts that Ivy had woke up after quite a long nap, he takes a deep breath before walking up the staircase to his fate.

He’s preparing himself for her to scream and cry when she sees her monster of a father because he’d scared her so horribly.

But his mini just widens her green eyes and he looks at his world with bated breath, waiting for the scream or tears.

Instead, she just dimples happily at her father, and squeals with excitement, “Daddy! Hi Daddy, miss you!”

And just like that….

They’re best friends again.

—-

Enjoy! Come talk to me!! 💕❣️💕❣️💕❣️

[multifandomthoughts]

Drink Drank Drunk

GN Reader

TW: Alcohol/drinking game

Requested by: nobody

Author’s note: I’ve had this in my drafts for over a year now so I thought it was high time I finish it lol if anything doesn’t make sense that’s why.

It was a warm and bright day on the Thousand Sunny. Everyone was out and about doing their own thing; Chopper and Usopp were playing with Luffy, Nami was tending to her tangerine tree while Robin read. Zoro was taking his midday nap in the sun while Brook was practicing his violin. Everything seemed to be going swell that is, except for you.

Inside the ship’s cabin, you lay in the dark with all the curtains drawn so that none of the light could creep in. You lay, curled up in your own bed, clutching the sheets and sobbing as quietly as you can muster. You normally shared a bed with Zoro; you two were not currently in a relationship, however, but more than once he’s wandered into your bedroom after getting lost or even complaining that he was cold and settling right in.

That was your problem; you were incredibly attracted to him, and he didn’t seem at all interested. The past few months had been brutal to you; every place you went, some girl ended up fawning over him and spending all their time with him. It even happened before the 2 years as well. Perona, Komurasaki, Tashigi…they were superior to you in all ways, you felt.

Startled out of your sheets, you heard a knock on the door to your cabin. You try to wipe your eyes, and compose yourself. Whoever it is, you can

“Who is it? You called out to the person behind solid oak.”

“It’s me, Nami.”

“Oh, you can come in.” The door creaked open as the redhead’s frame entered into view. Walking over towards you, she plopped herself down on the side of her bed. “Chopper told me he could find you here. He was concerned that sitting in the dark on a day like this could cause deficiency of vitamin D. Why are you in here all by yourself anyway, such a beautiful day outside? You shifted in your seat, unknown if you should actually tell her your secret, your long hidden feelings.

“Nami, I don’t mean to come off as rude, but do you think you can keep a secret?”

“Of course! Why would you think I would be unable to?”

“Because Luffy, though not the subject of this secret, always bugs anyone that he think is keeping something from him. No matter whether or not it’s his business, he just has to know.” Gulping, you try to steady your hands and feet. Even though you are sitting, your hands and feet jitter wildly with anxiety. How will she react? Will she laugh in your face? Or will she feel sorry for you? The best outcome is that she understands, and that she’ll even give you advice on your problem.

“But I’m not Luffy. You can trust me, and if I ever betray your trust you have the right to come after me. Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?” Her face is stone cold, as if she is going to guard the location of the final poneglyph.

You take a deep breath and collect your thoughts. There is no going back. As you begin to speak, your hands shake from the thought of what could happen.

“I like Zoro, a lot.”

Her face softens, and she gives you a gentle smile. A sense of relief washes over you. You knew you could trust her judgement. Then she begins to smirk, rubbing her hands together like a mad scientist. Oh no.

Several days pass, and you’re beginning to become frightened. You told Nami your deep secret, and ever since then, Zoro has been acting strange around you. She must have said something or done something to alert him to your feelings, right?

It was time for lunch, and Sanji had called all of the crew together. Fried fish with potato skins and drinks made to order upon request. Nami has a fruit drink, Franky of course has cola, Robin drinks coffee and Brook has tea, and as usual Zoro downs a bottle of booze. When Sanji asks what you’d like, you notice Zoro pause a moment as if he wants to hear this. You try your best to avoid the watchful eye of Zoro, but you can feel it pierce through your soul. Clearing your throat, you stutter “I-I’ll have a rum and coke.” Zoro looks down, a devilish grin crawling across his face.

Sanji hands you your drink, throwing you flirty comments, and attempting to sit right on top of you. Annoyed, you scooch your chair away from him so he falls flat on his face. That earns a laugh from most of the crew, Zoro smirking around the lip of his bottle.

The awkward atmosphere continues until the next time the crew inevitably end up saving an island from the evil group exerting their will over the population. As is tradition, Luffy insists on throwing a party to celebrate with the grateful locals. And a party means a banquet, which means lots of drinking. Zoro is chugging along at his usual pace, to the amazement of all newcomers, and you’re in good spirits yourself so you try and see how far you can go.

Surely you can’t match him, you don’t have the ego to try, but testing your limits sounds exciting and the party mood is inviting. “Hey Zoro…let’s see how much you can hold your own against me!” Zoro raises his eyebrow quizzically, prepared to defend his title as alcohol king. You raise your mug, and begin to guzzle down the bitter liquid. Sweat drips down your forehead as you prepare to hold your own, to prove that he wasn’t the only one who could hold their booze.

There’s a glint in his eye as you look his way, but you assume that’s just enthusiasm and confidence he can protect his title. Usopp heard the clamor in the crowd over the contest being announced, and comes over to act as referee. As soon as he waves his hand, the both of you start chugging your drinks and going for more. There’s a rush to bring as many cups, mugs, chalices and bottles to you as possible so neither party will simply run out.

You take a gasp of air before gulping down another mug. The taste hits you like acid but you force down the stinging liquid as it burns your inside. Your insatiable thirst grows stronger as the urge to quell it rises. You know looking at Zoro will only make you lose focus or get distracted from the task at hand, but you still can’t help checking on his progress.

Sure enough, he’s on his third mug while you’re starting your second. Your eyes meet, and a daring idea hits you. You wink at him and down the current drink as smoothly as you can before flirtatiously licking your lips. Just as you were hoping, his eyes go wide and he sputters a bit, going into a momentary coughing fit. Spitting out his drink, he realizes that he’s thrown a decent lead out the window. He recovers quickly, but it does give you time to get into the lead.

“Try and keep up, marimo!” You tease, going to your third mug. It’s becoming harder and hard to quickly swallow the booze, your throat becoming rawer. His eyes, filled with annoyance stares deep into your soul. Or it could be your chest, you don’t know.

Whether you realize it or not, Zoro does admire the nerve it took to pull a dirty move like that. He can tell that means you’re quite determined to win, and he appreciates that tenacity. That doesn’t mean he’s not still determined to drink you under the table, but it counts for something. There’s annoyance in the gaze, yes, but it’s because you made him cough up and waste good booze more that anything.

The effects of the alcohol are starting to kick in: you can feel your body waver, a warmth overtaking you. You hiccup in between the next sips, trying to stay focused. Zoro snickers, a cheeky smile slipping onto his face. He knows he’s got this in the bag, if only because alcohol doesn’t affect him.

You try to count in your head how many you’ve already had, and come up with a surprising 8 drinks. Your previous best was only about 4, so this feels quite impressive. You knew you’d never win, so it feels like stopping on a ninth mug of booze would make this time well spent.

Putting your mug down, you can feel all the blood rushing to your head as you hit the ground with a thud. When you awoke, the entire crew surrounds you in a huddle. “Oh my god, are you alright?” Chopper cries out “I can’t believe the stupid mosshead made you do that!” Sanji retorts, looking at you. But none of that matters to you. Where’s Zoro?

Forcing yourself to sit up, you slowly look around the room and find him leaning against the doorway as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. “Well? Y’gonna brag that you won?” You mumble, unsure if you feel like smiling or grimacing. “You did pretty good, I’m shocked you made it this far.” Reaching out his hand, you grasp it as he pulls you to your feet. You lean against his muscular chest as he pulls you to look at him.

Chopper starts yelling that you shouldn’t be making such sudden movements, you still need to rest from the hangover, but you tune him out in favor of staring into Zoro’s eyes. “Guess I wanted to impress you.” You admit, so quiet only he can hear it. His smirk turns to a full grin and he pats your head.

“Well if you’re up for some more drinking…” he starts to say, before Chopper screams about more alcohol possibly being deadly at this point and Zoro holds up a hand to indicate he wants to finish the statement. “If you’re up for some more drinking some time down the road, I’d be happy to keep you company.” The conditional part is enough to quell Chopper’s concerns, but he does make you both swear it’ll never get that extreme again. You don’t notice it, but sitting in the corner or the room is Nami. A shit eating grin on her face, and her hands rubbing together. She knew that her plan would succeed, and now that it has, she can bask in the glory of watching you two be happy together.

Whether it’s happiness at this turn of fate or just some giddiness from the booze still in your system, you can’t keep a goofy smile off your face. This was just what you needed to catch Zoro’s attention, and with a little liquid courage maybe one of these days you can actually tell him everything you feel?

[imtooscaredforthis]

Antagonist

Chapter Three: Killers

Mentions of: Death, weapons, exhaustion, slight flirting (?) etc.

A/N: I just want it to be spring break atp lmfao but for now, enjoy some Leon moments and my fav old man Bill

Tags: @prettycutebunny @dead-bxtch-walking @autisticpickle @moonshineinasippycup

Frank trudged through the lobby of the lodge, sitting back on the couch. Sighing to himself, he pulled his mask off, putting it on the arm rest beside him. The past couple of trials have been long and frustrating, and he finally got a break.

He knows he shouldn’t be mad. He’s won all of them, killing the survivors off with ease, but there is one that sticks out to him. One that’s put him in this shitty mood in the first place. And that was his trial with you.

You have a lot of fucking nerve, talking him to like that, fighting him like that, even though he could kill you. You knew that, and he did kill you.

No one’s ever stood up to him like that. Not a girl, at least, and he doesn’t know what to feel. Angry? Yes. Intrigued? Also yes.

But there’s a part of him, a darker, sadistic part, that couldn’t help but find some enjoyment in the way you fought against him. The adrenaline he felt from killing you was something he’s never experienced before. Something that he needs to feel again, and he can’t help but look forward to the next time he sees you in a trial.

–

“You hear about that new survivor?” Trapper asked as he set down the machete, joining the other killers nearby.

There’s only so much one can do when out of trial, waiting to kill again. Besides resting, and doing what they normally do in their realms, or watching the survivors at the campfire, there isn’t much else to do. So, occasionally, some of the killers interact with one another.

“Yeah I did. I had my first trial against her. She fought me pretty hard. The bitch even bit me.” Frank immediately cut in, leaning up against one of the old oak trees, Julie standing by his side.

She heard the story from him before, right when she got back from his trials, and she isn’t very happy with you. The idea of someone hurting her boyfriend, her soulmate isn’t one she’s very fond of. So, once she faces you, she’ll deal with you her own way.

“She’s definitely a fighter. Little lady elbowed me in the face when I picked her up. Hit me right in my damn jaw.” Deathslinger added, rubbing his crooked jaw in reminisce.

“She has a look I recognize in some men, and even less in women. She has the eyes of a killer. If she had the chance, she’d hurt us, just like we hurt her.” The Oni stated, making a silence fall upon all of the killers. They all knew he was right, but what would they do? What would they say?

The next trial that Frank sees you in will definitely be an interesting one.

–

Saying that the trials you went through were brutal is an understatement. You haven’t made it out alive once, considering how it seems like the killers have it out for you. The other survivors told you they tend to target the newer ones, since they’re easier to go after, but it still pisses you off.

Your temper doesn’t do you any good either, only provoking killers even more. Like when you flipped that “Shape” guy off while working on a gen. How could you not? The asshole was just standing there, watching you, like a fucking creep.

Unfortunately, you paid dearly for that with an inhumanly strong hand on your throat, and a knife in your stomach.

Apparently, he moried you, which is not the same thing as a normal sacrifice. According to what you’ve been told, a mori is when you can get murdered after being hooked a certain amount of times. Not all killers carry a mori, and if they don’t you’re simply sacrificed in the same, horrible way, on that hook.

You’ve learned a lot about this place, and you’re beginning to get used to it. At least you’re getting better at working with the generators, and can actually make some progress without being constantly electrocuted.

Sitting down on the log, you laid back, finally getting some rest after being thrown from trial to trial. Mentally, you’re exhausted, tired from the constant fear and adrenaline, the running and paranoia, having to always look over your shoulder to make sure you're safe. But physically, you feel fine, besides some soreness here and there.

This place is weird like that. You have barely any concept of time, and your surroundings feel…fake. You can’t feel the heat from the campfire, and it can’t burn you. It only burns the offerings you give. The only things you have been able to feel that don’t feel artificial is the pain and death.

Rubbing your temples, you lay back, shutting your eyes for a moment. No one’s sitting near you, except for the blonde man across the fire from you.

You know he’s a police officer from the uniform he’s wearing. He seems alert, vigilant, and unable to sit still. His eyes are scanning the terrain around him, and every now and then, if there’s a noise in the distance, he jumps up to his feet, looking around, only to find nothing.

He locks eyes with you, a small smile crossing his lips. One that makes your heart thump hard in your chest, and you can feel yourself growing nervous. A really handsome guy did just smile at you, after all.

“How’re you- How’re you holding up?” He asked, pausing to clear his throat. “I’m doing the best I can after finding out I’m in a place like this, I guess.”

You replied, and his smile only seems to get bigger, making your palms sweat. “So, uhm, what’s your name? I’m just trying to remember People, so I can know what to-”

“Leon Kennedy. What’s yours?” He answered, and you gave him your name in response.

Just before you could continue your conversation, you noticed a look on his face change, one you had grown familiar with. A look that meant he had to leave for a trial.

“I gotta go, but I’ll see you around.” He flashed you another heart-stopping smile, before walking off, along with another three others who were being summoned.

As the four left, another four came in. An older man walked over to you, sitting beside you on the log, muttering something under his breath. His name is Bill, you think.

You watched as he pulled out a cigarette from his back pocket, lighting one and taking a long drag. “Can I get one of those?” You asked, making him glance at you, cocking an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little young to be smoking?”

“Aren’t you too old, gramps?” You immediately responded back. You didn’t intend on being so rude, but it’s kind of a reflex when people ask you things like that. Still, you know you should’ve been nicer. He’s in this hellscape with you too, after all.

You expected him to be mad, to turn away and curse you out. But he didn’t. Instead, he laughed, a grin crossing his once brooding features. “Touché.”

He placed a cigarette into the palm of your hand, which you put between your lips, igniting your cigarette with his pocket lighter.

Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all.

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Dionysus

Hey y’all, sorry for going dark! I’m alright, almost completely recovered in fact! I just got so sleepy while my body was fighting stuff off and couldn’t really work up the energy to write... Still going to be spotty for a short time, but I’m glad to have gotten this done. See ya soon!

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus

Lucifer

Well, this mortal stumbled out of the portal covered in glitter, body paint, and carrying a red solo cup… which they proceeded to stare at like, "'ell sshhit… Thiz iz sum stron s'uff…"

First impressions were not on their side here.

He spent a depressingly long amount of time more or less assuming that the MC was a drunken f-up and spent the first few months trying to make them more… presentable.

But like… How do you stop someone from acting like a drunk fool when they can turn any drink they touch alcoholic???

For months they would show up to meetings buzzed or stumbling, all smiles and all giggles but HORRIBLY unprofessional, and he just couldn't stand it!

But then he found out their little secret…

Assassination threats befall the exchange students all the time. Most of them are dealt with quickly but some (through skill or dumb luck) manage to slip through...

He had been walking with the MC through their new vineyard in the House's courtyard, yet again trying to lecture them about their drunken behavior, when suddenly the two were ambushed!

Ten or so heavily armored demons dropped down from the sky to attack them! Lucifer was so preoccupied that he got cornered by three of them and it took him a hot minute to destroy them.

When he looked back at the mortal (who had been fighting a 1-on-7) he was certain they'd have been kidnapped or worse…

But he saw that they had already cut down two attackers with their weapon with ease. The other five were rolling in the dirt, babbling about inexplicable terrors and imaginary pain as their minds succumbed to madness…

Meanwhile, the MC just stood in the middle of it all with the icy glare of someone who’s just revealed how stone-cold sober they've always been under the surface...

When they turned back to him, they put their usual ditzy smile back on over the tormented wails of the demons around them...

MC: Whoopsie… Gotta little mad there. 🙂

He uh… took a big ol'step off their back after that. Surprisingly, they're more pleasant (and less dangerous) "drunk" than they are sober…

Mammon

Oh HELL yeah!! Lucifer actually gave him a mortal that knows how to party!!

Admittedly, they looked like utter trash when they first met, like, "Hey, I've been at this party since DAWN" trash, but they gave him one good look and pulled together a surprisingly hot smile.

MC: "-ey yer cute… Ya like strip poker?"

Spoken like someone else who also makes shit decisions… They were going to get along just fine!

And they did. The MC to him was that one friend that's always down for anything. Just anything. Whenever. Wherever.

He wants to try sneaking into Lucifer's room to steal stuff? Sure, what time?

He wants to take a mattress and see if he can ride it down the grand staircase of the palace? Alright, we bringin' pillows too?

He needs to set up another scheme that's gotta involve live rats and box of tiny hats and monocles?? That's oddly specific but count them in!!

Sometimes he honestly can't tell if they're laid back or just crave chaos... but it works out fine for him either way so who cares? 🤷‍♀️

And if you think normal Mammon is a pain in the ass for Lucifer? Check out drunk Mammon. All the same urges but literally none of the (marginal) competence!!

At one point, the eldest ended up stringing both Mammon and the MC from the ceiling after they both barged into his office looking for Goldie… while he was still in there… watching them wander around aimlessly calling out for a piece of plastic like it was a missing puppy…

They end up together on the ceiling a lot come to think of it, but hey, at least now he has some company. 😌

Leviathan

Thinks they're the most normal normie to have ever normed on this normie planet!!!

No, seriously. They're a billion times worse than Asmo!! All they want to do is go to parties and drink all the time! What kind of use is he to someone like that??

… That being said they ARE pretty fun to be around… And their sake is WAY better than anything he could get off Akuzon!!

They also like karaoke too! So at least he has someone else to go with (even if they get so drunk they can’t remember any lyrics and just belt barely coherent discount Mariah Carey vocals behind him...)

Of course, the real fun between these two is everybody else getting to watch a couple of the Devildom's sloppiest drunks attempt to communicate with each other…

Levi: MMM-*hic*-MCCC…!!! *throws himself at them from across the bar*

MC: What Leviachan??? 😨 Did the chair kick you off?!

Levi: Nooo! *pokes their cheek* I wanna-I wanna tell you sometin'...! *tries pulling them closer*

MC: Whaa? Secrets?? *leans in eagerly*

Levi: Mammon used all ma money on’a pyramid scheme a thou-zand years ago… AND HE STILL WON'T PAY ME BAAA-!!! 😭😭 *starts shaking them violently*

MC: *getting flung around like a limp noodle* Waaaat?! Nooo!!! I'm so sowwy!! 😢

Mammon: *watching it all go down right next to him* 😑 Ya guys need some water… I'm cuttin' ya off, got it?

MC: 😱 Shut yer whore mouth, criminal!! *starts pelting him with pretzel bites*

Levi: 😤 Yah!! *joins in*

Good thing he's a shut-in, because the hangovers he gets after those escapades are unreal…

Satan

A little concerned for their liver, honestly… How much damage have they already done to the poor thing...?

But at the same time, he'll be damned if they don't make some utterly fantastic wine!

Alcokinesis wasn't a power he would have pegged a demigod to have but apparently the great art of making drinks comes from their godly DNA.

When they first met, he was trying to get the MC to act less slovenly but made the mistake of agreeing to a wager: he'd let them dress however they pleased if they could give him the BEST drink he'd ever tasted.

Now, Satan isn't a huge drinker (thank you terrible alcohol tolerance), but he's still a man of fine tastes. Plus, he's sampled Demonus from Diavolo royal stock before. They should not have won…

But on that day, he had to let them go to RAD in a pink blanket toga... 😑 Their wine is just THAT good.

He hates to admit it, but they've gotten him drunk more times than he could probably count too… He's not a huge fan of clubbing with them and the others, but if they bring over a bottle from their vineyard he just can't resist. They're a master of their craft, truly.

And it's a good thing he likes their drinks so much, because if they called him, "Kitty-boy," when he's sober, he may have just become a sour grape himself…

They also may or may not have copious amounts of blackmail material of him either meowing between sentences, sobbing over some fictional character he likes, pole dancing on dares….

Yeah, he's been trying to destroy their phone for months now. If Lucifer were to see ANY of that, he's done for… 😣

He has also been meaning to ask them about other aspects of their abilities, their father is also the God of Madness after all, but anytime he tries to bring it up they shove another glass in his hand and tell him not to kill the mood...

Eh. What's the harm in having another drink, right? 🤷‍♀️

Asmodeus 

Honey. He's MET Dionysus. He's been to a Dio-party or two and they're INSANE. He could not be more thrilled by this!!!

He practically scooped them up on the first night that they were in the House and it’s practically been a nonstop rave between these two ever since. They’re like the party twin he never knew he needed!!

He absolutely abuses their ability to turn pretty much any drink they touch into alcohol at clubs. It makes the nights so much easier on the wallet PLUS it makes an excellent little party trick to impress the succubi! Who doesn’t want a free drink? 😏

And can he just say that their drinks are better? Just flat out amazing! If it weren’t so unhealthy he’d consider drinking nothing but their booze and wine for the rest of his days, Satan’s certainly getting close to it.

But little does Satan know, he’s not even getting the GOOD stuff...

There’s the normal wine: grapes picked from the vineyard, hand squeezed, then magically helped through the fermenting process. But their real good stuff? They were given enchanted oak barrels from their father and anything that comes out of those is worth starting a WAR over. 😩

He knows, because he gifted an extra bottle to Diavolo once and Barbs came to him the very next day demanding to know what vineyard had produced it with the look of man willing to annex a small nation...

Asmo had to beg Lucifer to talk to Diavolo after the butler more or less kidnapped the MC back to the Castle… Devil knows even Barbs wouldn’t ever be able to reproduce their wine, so they could have been locked there for eternity!!

Thankfully, he got his party-buddy back and their debauchery continued! (Just now with Barbatos following them around sometimes like he’s trying to gather state secrets... It’s an impossible task but he hasn’t given up yet, bless his black heart.)

Beelzebub

He isn't much bothered by their carefree nature, at least they seem to be having fun with his family which he appreciates. 🙂

To be honest, though, he nearly ate them when they first met because they smell like freshly peeled grapes… and for good reason.

By their third day at the House they had (somehow) planted and cultivated a full on vineyard in the courtyard. Hell, the wall growing to their bedroom balcony was covered in grapevines!! Always ripe and completely healthy in defiance of the lack of sun... Whatever magic they used was strong.

And, of course, their grapes were also delicious! Easily among the best fruits he's ever tasted! Every cluster is ridiculously plump, juicy, and sweet like little droplets of pure Heaven… 🤤

When their fruit first ripened, the MC came out with a basket to collect some only to find Beel had gouged himself on over half of their crop!!!

… which may have been why he got snared up on one of the courtyard walls by pissed off grapevines... Even with all his strength, he couldn't break through them and had to wait for Lucifer to cut him down… 😔 

From then on, Beel was pretty much the pesky rabbit to the MC's harvest. They had to set up traps and magical barriers to keep him from their precious grapes…!! Which inevitably meant one of his brothers had to come rescue him from their furious vines at least once a week... 🙄

SOMETIMES, the MC will bring him along to help harvest with them with the deal that he can have an extra basket for however many he helps them pick. But the second he takes a bite he shouldn't, it’s back on the wall!

Out of the vineyard, they're nice enough. But put some grapes between these two and they're mortal enemies… STOP messing with their plants, Beel!! 😤

Belphegor 

So… this drunken fool is supposed to get him out of the attic? Never mind, this is never going to work…

He was SEVERELY underwhelmed when the "human" finally made it up the steps. This was who they decided to bring for their exchange program? They seemed like they could barely stand!

Naturally, he figured all the better for him. They probably wouldn't even last that long! 

Some poor, incompetent human falling victim to a demon out there? Diavolo's reputation would in tatters and he wouldn't even have to lift a finger! (His favorite way of doing things really 😌).

But… they just kept coming back? Like. Nothing was killing them….! How guarded were they keeping this moron?? 

Or… maybe it was something else?

Sure, the MC seemed like a drunken idiot but there were times when he'd swear that they were just… too aware to be sloshed…

MC: *suddenly stops smiling at him mid-conversation and looks him in the eye* You tilt your head when you lie. You know that?

How can someone so cheerful ALSO be so unnerving…?

So really, he should have seen their sudden heel-turn after they opened the door coming. There he was, fully intending to take them by surprise and choke them after a hug…

...and they knocked him down, climbed onto his back like a spider monkey, and rode him around like a bucking bull using his horns like handlebars!!

It wouldn’t have been AS humiliating if they didn’t also keep shouting things like "Giddiyap!" And "Yee-haw!!"

It took him a whole month to be sure that any and all footage of that nightmare was erased and he STILL hates the MC quite a bit for it…. But he's too scared to attack them now, so…

The lesson here? It's not a fair fight when one side’s crazy... 😔😒