#noober

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Noober: Sometimes I feel like I might get on other people’s nerves.

Charname, sarcastically: I can’t imagine why.

[nucleqr]

i got noober to give up lmao

[emahriel]

Guys, we’re getting Noober 2.0 in BG3...

Meet Naaber, voiced by CohhCarnage

(source: x)

[blackjackkent]

Update - as I suppose I should have expected, Naaber has more dialogue if we keep clicking on him. Looks like there might be one for him trying out every potential class. XD Featuring Hector being the most patient man in existence, bless his heart.

Starting with barbarian:

"Roar. ROAR! ROAAAAAAAR! Are you scared? Did you wet your pants? Did you? Did you?"

"Not even slightly."

"Appreciate the honesty. *Sigh* Oh well. Back to the Naabing board! ^_^ "

-----

Bard:

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to youuuuu! HAPPY BIIIIIIRTHDAY DEAR...."

...

...

"...Hector Carlisle."

"HAAAAAAAPPY BIIIIIIIRTHDAY TOOOOOO YOUUUUUUUUU. What do you think, am I a good bard?"

"All the bards I've met play an instrument."

"Oh. I don't have one of those. Balls. Back to the Naabing board, then..."

------

Cleric:

"Bless us with your gentle - no, holy - spirit - no, soul - no, spirit... your powers - your divine powers... bother."

[CLERIC] "Are you trying to... pray?"

"You're very good at this! Perhaps you can teach me. I'm trying to pray. Am I doing it right?"

[CLERIC] "It's more like... By your sacrament ever be praised. Oh holy, most wise, eternal god..."

"Wooooooooow! That was awesome! I bet it even works when you do it!"

------

Druid:

"*Sniff sniff*"

"What are you sniffing?"

"Oh, you didn't get it? I'm pretending to be a dog. Everyone likes dogs! ^_^ "

"...Carry on, then."

"*BARK! BARK!*"

------

Wizard:

"Behold, mundane meddler! You step in the domain of a master speller. For I am to be a most mighty WIZARD!"

"What's your favorite spell?"

"Wizard! W-I-Z-A-R-D! Wizard!"

"...No, spell. As in magic spell. The thing wizards cast."

"Wait. There's another step after that? Rats..."

-----

Warlock:

"Know any fiendish philanthropists? Fickle fae financiers? Eldritch employers? I want to make a pact!"

"Are you sure you're ready to be a warlock? To sell your soul for eternity?"

"My SOUL? I have to give up my SOUL to become a warlock????"

-----

Monk:

"Ommmmmmmmmmmm. Ammmmmmmmmmmm. Ummmmmmmmmmm...."

[MONK] Join in.

"Oh, HI! I didn't see you there! I was deep in meditation, see. Isn't peace and quiet just the best? I've decided to be a monk! [pause, inhale, VERY LOUDLY] I'M GOING TO BE THE BEST MONK THERE EVER WAS!"

"Go back to being silent, then."

Narrator: Naaber seals his lips, but you feel the pressure of words behind them. The poor thing is straining fit to burst.

"Aaaaaaaaargh! Ican'tdoitihavetoomuchtosay! You were right. I can't be a monk. I just want to TALK! Talking's great, see? You can say words, make friends, tell everyone everything you're thinking and feeling..."

Narrator: As he empties himself of his latest slew of thoughts, you take the opportunity to slip away.

-----

Rogue:

"BOO! Bet you didn't even see me coming. I'm a shadow. A mastery of sneakery. A ROGUE!"

"No, you're not. I see you. You're right there."

"Oh, thank goodness! I was worried I was getting too good at it and nobody would ever see me again! Hello! Hi!"

------

Ranger:

"If not a rogue, then a ranger! I'm great at chasing things down!"

"I hope you're looking forward to those long, lonely months on the trail."

"Godsdammit, why are so many adventurer jobs so lonely?! I thought you were supposed to have parties!"

-----

Sorcerer:

"Perhaps the answer was deep within me all along! An ancient spark of arcana! Yes, I was born to be a sorcerer! I can feel it!"

"Cool, can you do any magic?"

"Let me focus... I can feel the power deep within me... It's coming up! It's coming up! *BURP* Oops. Just indigestion. Haha."

-----

Paladin:

"My liege! I swear to you an undying oath of absolute devotion. I am but your humble paladin."

"I don't accept."

"Really? But... I'm ready to do anything!"

(At this point these were the three available options - Hector has finally run out of patience:

)

"Please just go away."

"But you're the one who keeps talking to me! I- I don't want to-- all right. An oath's an oath, I suppose."

-----

Final conversation:

"These roles sure are restrictive, aren't they? Maybe the adventuring life's just not for me. I really like talking to you! There's not a lot of people that want to talk to me, so I brought you a present. Here."

He hands Hector an "Absolute Confidence Amulet," which grants +1 Performance and -1 Intimidation.

"Now, what are we going to talk about if not about the adventuring life? Wait. Wait! What if I *mix* the classes - Oh, Naaber, you GENIUS!"

And he books it out the door and out of sight.

---------

They all watch him run out, and Karlach lets out a soft giggle. "Hec, how the hells did you keep a straight face through all that?"

"He even tried to help him," Jaheira says with some amusement. "In my earlier travels, when we would meet such a man on the road, we would make tracks for the horizon at highest speed."

Hector chuckles. "You forget I have spent much of my life guiding the youth of the world to a better path - those who came to a life at the monastery, at least. And some of them were far more headstrong and far less sensible than that lad." A pause. "Although, I will admit -- not many."

[sleepyblr-heart]

first find the pronouns character designs..... and also some notes abt how they are designed and how they work

[nosleepgummitato]

Guys guys GUUYSSSSS

Guess what fandom I just joined

I love him sm.

[xanfeursel]

[plutodiplomat]

Noober my beloved

[Image ID: a sketch of a man in a brown robe with a blue ring around his feet to indicate his presence as a video game character. He has crudely drawn hands, a cartoonish face and says 'heyah!'

Noober is a minor character from the game Baldur's Gate, known for having the sole purpose of being a nuisance to players. End ID]

[dude-wheres-my-ankheg]

oh my GOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD

First, there was Noober.

Then came Neeber, to continue the suffering.

Finally, there was Nüber, and we thought that was it. We thought we were safe.

UNTIL GD LARIAN 2023:

Edit to add:

Where TF was this option in 1998

[peachespeachespeachesily]

Noober:3

[eruscreaminginthedistance]

NOOBER IS BACK BABEY HELL YEAH

[incorrect-bhaalspawn-quotes]

Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 Sexyman Poll Round 1

[chocolatmieux]

im just like noober

[mechaniaa]

“dont bother with baldurs gate 1 its not interesting” woe. noober be upon ye

[blackjackkent]

Wandered into the shop across from Danthelon's, called "Carm's Garms", and was immediately accosted by a young man trying to pick a fight with Hector.

"Put 'em up! Put 'em up!"

Hector continues to be utterly baffled by the people of this city. And while he was invited to any number of sparring matches at the monastery, no one has ever used this particular phrasing, so he has literally no idea what this man is talking about.

"Put what up?" he says with innocent confusion.

The young man's eyes go wide with excitement.

"Yay! You spoke to me! Nobody ever talks to me!" he says eagerly.

"Your fists, silly! I'm trying something out! My name's Naaber, adventurer-to-be, soon to be the best adventurer anyone's ever seen!"

His arms drop to his sides and then he knits his eyebrows with an expression of deep thought. "As soon as I figure out what kind of adventurer I'm going to be." He grins at Hector brightly. "What do you think? Could I be a fighter?"

Oh my god. XD

IDK how I thought we were going to get all the way through this game without a Noober reference. (For those who did not play the previous games - there is always an NPC (Noober in BG1, Nüber in Siege of Dragonspear, and Neeber in BG2) who appears in a particular area and just follows you around, interrupting you with repeated conversations and talking about inane stuff. Think Conrad Verner vibes. And here is his spiritual successor. XD )

Hector, of course, is unaware of all of this context and is happy to help a young man desiring his advice. He counseled many young acolytes in his time at the monastery, of course, and trained alongside them and helped them grow as fighters too.

So he nods agreeably. "Why don't you actually fight me, and I'll tell you?"

Naaber, unfortunately, folds almost immediately.

"Um... sure. I'll just... raise my fists and..."

"Urgh. It's no use. I can't do it. Guess old Naaber's more of a talker than a fighter."

Hector gives him a slightly bemused smile. "Maybe pick a different career," he suggests gently.

"Phew!" Naaber says cheerfully at once. "I was hoping you'd say that! To tell you the truth, I don't actually like hurting people very much. Or getting hurt. It's a good job I ran into you!"

He grins brightly, turns, and runs off, leaving Hector standing baffled behind him.

[harrycollins]

I wonder if the adoring fan was inspired by noober in bg1 or if there is an even older ancestral creature in some game I'm don't know about. scary thought. either way, noober, naaber, the adoring fan and conrad verner see your player character walk into a bar....

I REALLY think he could be... I haven't met with that guy in bg1 but I am curious now 👀