#none of you fuckers can spell

[corvidpolyglot]

anxiety!

when the feeling's wrong and the feeling's wrong and the feeling's wrong and the feeling's wrong and the feeling's wrong and the feeling's wrong and the feeling's wrong and the feeling's

(to the tune of "Tragedy" by the Bee Gees)

[crows-in-the-house]

𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖚𝖆𝖑

It's a part of my own writting inktober! To see more check out this post!

Prompt: clown / emotion / ritual

pairing: Bill Cipher x Reader

tw: none

The moon was full, bathing the night sky in a cold silver light. Dark, long branches hit the window panes. It was midnight when you started to have doubts. Will it work? Will it actually help you?

You shook your head - there was no time for such questions. The last candle was lit with a trembling hand. The room was filled with darkness, you could barely see your hands despite the gentle flickers of the fire. You took a deep breath, taking the chill night air into your lungs, and letting it out in a long sigh.

You opened the old scripture, holding on to the old paper as if to your own life. The ancient rhymes made your eyes water. You were just about to go on to the part with the knife when you heard a faint laughter.

The room seemed to shift and change. You knew that voice right? Low, ominous rumbling filled the air, when sharp shadows circled around you as if to swallow you whole. There was something emerging from the corners in the darkness, something big, staring right at you-

This fucker!

"Bill! What are you doing in my ritual!"

"Oh come on toots, calling onto some stupid gods and not me? You really have a nerve!"

The triangle demon circled you while laughing. His form again normal sized, perfectly punchable if he only moved closer.

"Don't even try that kid! I'm not like those clowns you want so badly! I will get back at ya!"

"What do you want Cipher!? I was just about to summon a god and you ruined it! Again! Do you know how long I have to wait for another full moon?!"

You looked at the demon with anger. Since you two met he succesfuly stopped all your attempts at dark magic. At first you belived him when he said you where doing some stuff wrong, like using a wrong spell, or not fresh enough offering. But with time he started interfiing more and more. And now he was just an annoying prick.

"Listen kid, if you're so desperate to make a deal with a higher power-

"I'm not making deal with you Bill." You stood up crossing your arms. " I want to learn my future from a reliable source. A reliable source, got it?"

"Oh and would you look at that - that's exactly me, brainiac! If we just made a deal, I would let you know aaaall your possible futures, with all the alternative universes, great deaths and every new emotion in your head! Why not shake on, so I can share it with you?"

"Cuz last time I did that, you made me think of you every time when I spoke to my crush! And now I don't even remember their name!"

"As if such a detail was important kid, you got your end of the deal, and I got mine, yes?"

"How was that even beneficial to you?!"

"A guy must advertise himself somehow, you know?" He said while shrugging. You growled, putting out the candles. You had to stowe them away and wash the floor again. At least you didn't spill your blood this time. You were getting short on bandages.

You looked at your watch. Fifteen minutes after midnight. If it was at least ten, you would still have time to continue, rushed, but at least finally achieving your goal. Now tho, it was certain it wouldn't work out. The ritual needed special time and undivided attention. Both of which, Bill took without any care.

Your stomach growled. You haven't eaten in a while. Maybe you should go do that and watch a movie to sleep? You looked back at the triangle. He was still there, staring at you, as if suspended in space. Was he lost in thoughts or reading your mind? You nudged his side to get his attention.

"You know what? If you spawn me a drink - not alive, conscious one that is, I will share my popcorn with you." You saw humor get back to his eye.

"Oh golly! Free useless food from my meatbag monkey? What a treat!"

"Do you want it or not?" you replied, leaving the room. His eye scanned your tired form while slowly following you.

What a cute fool you were. Calling onto beings your whole mind wouldn't understand. It was shame you weren't awere how much he was protecting you from getting your brain melted. Maybe, just maybe if he made you more like him you would finally realize how much work you made him do! But no. He couldn't risk his stupid puppet getting a potential response from one of those "higher beings".

After all you belonged to him.

[qdbs-writes]

Okay. Kenshi hanzo Takeda and Liu Kang with an s/o who is secretly a villain pt2? But it turns out s/o was being controlled?

I'm so sorry this took so long, it took me a while to find the first post, but here is part 1

MK Lads x Secret-Villain Reader Part 2

Hanzo Hasashi (Scorpion)

Whether or not you were able to communicate that you were being controlled previously doesn't matter, in a fit of grief and desperation Hanzo works it out himself.

After revealing yourself as a villain, Hanzo would've ended your relationship. It took several months for him to work out what was happening to you, but when he finds out, he realizes that he can't rest until you're free.

Hanzo will lift any curse or evil magic-doer who was controlling you to their own ends and will check on you as the spell wears off to make sure you're all right.

Once he's confirmed that you are well, he will leave politely, making sure not to overstay his welcome. If you loved him once, you might love him again, but Hanzo believes you should take the time to re-establish your life and individuality before starting a relationship again.

Liu Kang

Once it's revealed that your villainous actions were the result of some sort of mind control, Kang takes this as a sign, a sign that he was never wrong about you, that you truly never would've done those cruel and evil things.

But he's aware of how precarious the situation is, he can't give away that he's aware of you being controlled, lest the puppet master behind your deeds tries to stop him by using you.

So he stays as close to you as possible, acting completely happy and content, trying to gather any information that he can so that he can save you. He'll realize that you keep making excuses to go somewhere, to a location that you would never specify. Whenever Kang stops you, you are quick to fly into a rage that seemed to hide desperation.

Kang takes this as another sign and lets you leave. Little do you or your puppet master know that Kang followed you in secret, in hopes that you would lead him right to the source of evil that plagued you.

Kenshi

Thankfully for you, Kenshi is able to work out you are being controlled, just as your villainy was revealed. Despite his heartbreak, things weren't adding up.

There were continuous unexplained shifts in your thought patterns, shifts that couldn't be explained by even the most bizarre brain waves.

Despite his pain, Kenshi decides it's not worth killing you, not yet at least. So he'll tie you up and take you on a little journey, to find whatever was causing your mind to completely flip.

Through his own psychic abilities, Kenshi is able to identify the source of your disturbance, eliminating it permanently. While your mind is stable, Kenshi needs more time to trust you again before letting his guard down once more.

Takeda Takahashi

So none of your villainy was willing and you were actually being controlled this entire time? Oh thank the gods, Takeda is relieved! He wants to say that he knew it wasn't really you all along, but that's a lie, he really had his doubts.

He hopes that what/whoever is controlling you is physical so he can cut them up into tiny, screaming pieces.

Turns out it was some magic asshole who was making you do all those evil things. So Takeda goes off on a noble quest to hack that fucker up, and at this point he's too pissed off to listen to any excuses magic fucker might have.

Don't be surprised if he returns to you on horseback, saving you from an evildoer has got him feeling all knightly and romantic.

[fallingfor-fics]

Greed- Agatha Harkness x Reader

Im so excited for HOH!! here is a short angsty one inspired by a song, you get a virtual kiss if you guess it.

Warnings: none, angst

Word Count: 1k

Summary: You arent gonns stick around while Agatha fights Wanda.

“I don't think you are hearing what I am saying.” Agatha let out in a huff, shaking her head and looking away. You weren’t getting anywhere in this conversation and you were ready to just give up. 

“Fine. If you want to keep fucking with this town, and her be my guest but im getting the fuck out of here. I'm not going to sit and beg you any longer.” You scoffed and stood up from the couch, heading upstairs to collect your things.

“Y/n wait.” Agatha yelled after, following you up the stairs, but you didn't respond and just reached for your luggage. “I don't have a choice. I have to stop her.” she said with her voice slightly strained.

“But you aren't trying to stop her, Agatha!” You snapped, raising your voice slightly as you turned to look at her, “you are trying to take her power for yourself.” you shook your head and her brows furrowed as her upper lip twitched.

“What? I don't-'' she started but she quickly read your expression and sighed, “she wont know how to handle that power, but I do know how, i'm the only person that can do this.” You knew how powerful Agatha was, but you always believed you were somewhat equals, she was only a few hundred years older than you, but you had mastered your craft. 

You looked at her with displeasure and she sighed. “I didn't mean it like that Y/n.”

“I'm going. Find me if you make it out of this.” You sighed, turning to use a spell to finish your packing.

“Baby please just trust me.” Agatha came to stand closer, her hands resting on your waist, she turned you to face her, and she rested her forehead on yours. You closed your eyes and sighed, a knot forming in your throat. 

“I love you Agatha…but I have worked too hard and gone through too much shit, to die this way.” you stated and moved away from her to grab some other items. 

“God, Y/n I need you to fucking listen to me for once. It will be fine, no one will die, it won't change anything. I need you here by my side.” she begged and you could tell she was being genuine. However you knew she was wrong, things would be so different. 

“And I need you to learn to get over yourself” you let out softly but with a firm tone as you turned to look at her. She scoffed and crossed her arms, shaking her head as she looked at you, “You are obsessed with Wanda. You are upset that she was chosen to be the scarlet witch, and now you want the power for yourself. Because God forbid there be someone who is more powerful than you. Well news flash, there is a whole league of them nowadays. So quit trying to be someone you're not.” You finished, your face red and your lungs out of breath from your tangent. Agatha let out a cackle before stepping closer to you. 

“I could take out any one of those unitard-wearing, lab rat, mother fuckers, Y/n. Just like I can take out Wanda. Just like I could take out.. You.” she said with a harsh tone, her words started to come out fast and by the end of her response she had started to get more angry. Her words were fighting to get out as she clenched her fist and pointed a finger at you. Your jaw dropped slightly and you scoffed. 

“You know what Agatha, you better hope Wanda kills you. ‘Cause if you survive, and you let this power consume you, which we know you will, I will come and kill you myself just to prove you wrong.” You looked at her with cold eyes as the venomous words left your lips. You stepped back in realization of what you had said. Shock filled your veins but you were more alarmed by the fact you really meant what you had just said. Agatha just looked at you. You observed her face so hard, the face you had memorized, the face you had seen everyday for so many years. No matter how long you looked or how hard you searched for signs, you couldn't read her expression, you couldn't read her. 

After a few moments you felt your cheeks burn and a knot form in your throat. Agatha stood still, her eyes not leaving yours as she sat pondering, trying to decide what to do, what to say to convince you to stay. She didn't care that you had just said what you had said. She wasn't surprised by these reactions. What surprised her was the level of stubbornness you were showing. Agatha loved you for many reasons, but one of them was loving you for how much you loved her. She had you around her finger and she loved it because you loved it too. She loved being demanding and you loved obeying. People always wanted stuff from her and would never give back, but you, there wasn't anything you wouldn't do for her. 

Except this. 

“Y/n, Please. I need you to just try to understand, are you really going to throw our whole life away because I want something?” She stopped, getting closer to you and cupping your face, you instinctively relaxed your face into her hands. She pulled you in for a kiss and you didnt fight it. She kissed softly, her smooth lips moving against yours as you kissed back, unable to resist her. There was a soft and pure love in that kiss and when you realized you pulled away softly, looking down with a frown, her hands still on your cheeks. She shook her head with a laugh. 

“I mean everyone has something they want, baby.” she quipped as her voice grew louder. You felt tears finally fill your eyes and you let out a shaky sigh, looking at her with sad eyes as you backed away from her grasp. 

Choking through your dry throat you spoke softly as you looked at her with love and pity. “I just wanted you, Agatha.” Yousaid simply and turned to head downstairs, collecting your things and loading them into your car. You left before she could say another word, and watched your rearview as you drove away, waiting to see her but all you saw was the empty road.

--

slay that was fun to write

someone should take this idea and make a full fic for it and credit and tag me bc this plot would destroy me

[h3artsf4me]

“You little shit…”

Sabo x f!reader Sharing a room with someone you hate with your guts doesn’t go as planned… Word count: 2k ((No spell check!))

TW: f!reader, Smut, hate sex, belly bulge, name calling: slut, little shit, bitch, fucker, brat, good girl, P in V, fingering, aggressive, mean sabo

The music from your headphones was probably too loud, especially since you had a roommate, which you hated, who was studying life science. And for that matter, he also hated you, but the headmistress had denied the both of you to switch dorms, which meant living with each other for a while.

You heard a loud and harsh knocking on your door, followed by his voice, your roommates voice, 

“Y/N! Shut that damn music off!” You heard him demand before barging into your room. You were wearing some pajama clothes, gray sweats and a cropped white tank top, not the worst thing in the world.

You gave a slight scowl when he barged in, him gritting his teeth as his knuckles turned white around the door handle. You slid your headphones off and put them around your neck before you gave an eye roll and finally answered him,

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want.” You spat back, shifting your weight to one side as you looked at him. He scoffed at your reply and also rolled his eyes,

“Some of us have fucking homework to do, you cunt.” It wasn’t uncommon for you two to name-call each other, in fact it was more normal than what others would think of it. You let out an exasperated sigh, before flipping him off. His eye twitched in response, as the hand on his right side balled into a fist, knuckles turning white as he suddenly slammed your door shut, taking a few steps forward with a none too pleased look on his face, “Don’t flip me off, you bitch.” He growled. You demeanor didn’t shift, still standing in the same spot as you watched him get closer,

“I don’t give a fuck.” You retaliated, feeling the tension in the air. And soon he was right in front of you, his figure towering over you as you backed up slightly, creating space between the both of you. But to your surprise he kept getting closer, kept moving forward till he had you pinned between him and your desk, filled with homework and other random stuff. You scowled when you heard his hands roughly slam against your desk, fully trapping you. He leaned in, his breath hot against your face, 

“Turn that damn music off. I can hear it in my room.” He growled, a fiery gaze in his eyes. You slightly leaned back, making your body press against the wood of the desk, 

“Oh yeah?” You challenged, matching his gaze, “Make me” The words fell out of your mouth rather quickly, as you looked up at him. You could see how his eye slightly twitched at your remark, making you lean just a bit further back. You heard one of his arms lift off the desk before his hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to tilt your head slightly up,

“Oh, I’ll fucking make you.” He said roughly before you felt his grip tighten on your chin, his other hand sliding down you under your thigh, grabbing it and lifting you till you sat on the edge of the desk, “I’ll show you to be a good girl.” His scowl lifted, turning into a sly smirk. His hand on your chin forced your head to shift to the side, exposing the side of your head to him. You felt him lean in closer, his body pressed against your as his teeth gently nipped your ear, making you squeak lightly, “You’re such a brat.” He growled as his free hand moved, gliding over your thigh till he reached the hem of your sweatpants, gently pulling it away from your skin in a teasing manner, making you shudder, “H-Hey..” You tried to protest, lifting one of your hands to grabbing his, but instead felt his hand let go of your chin and tightly grab your wrist, “Uh-uh..” You heard him hum, feeling his lips press against your temple. His hand dipped below the hem, finding the lace of your panties, making your body tense. You could tell how this was going to end, and never in a million years did you think this would happen. His hand hooked under the delicate lace, pulling them forward harshly, making you gasp quietly. He slightly pushed the fabric down until you felt his hand against your soft mound, feeling his fingers ghosting over the soft flesh, earning a soft gasp from you,

“Sabo.. You bitch..” You mumbled, feeling his gaze shift from your face to down where his hand was, his lips still pressing kissed along the side of your face and jaw line. You heard him chuckle lightly before you jumped, feeling his fingers against your sensitive bud. His fingers rubbed in tight circles, earning soft whines and whimpers from you, “Y-You suck…” You muttered as your eyes gently fluttered closed, feeling the pace of his fingers pick up speed as he chuckled again, his lips moving to your neck as he sucked on the delicate skin harshly, 

“Such a little slut..” He mumbled against your skin, gently licking the spot where he had just left a dark mark. You could feel the knot of pleasure start to tighten in your tummy, your hips slightly snapping against his touch. When the knot was about to snap he pulled his fingers away, making you whine out. You panted softly as your eyes fluttered open, looking at him with a flushed face as you pouted slightly, 

“Hey.. Why didn’t you-” Before you could finish your sentence you felt his fingers dip inside your wet cunt, giving you a pleasurable stretch, and making you squeak slightly, “Ah!” Your eyes widened when he started to roughly pump his fingers in and out of your slick heat, his palm harshly slapping against your mound, feeling the knot build up again as you moaned, hips snapping into his touch as your back slightly arched, 

“Heh- Such a good girl..” You heard him mumbled, his mouth still on your neck and collarbone, leaving marks in their wake. He curled his fingers, hitting that spot that made you gasp with great accuracy. You started to squirm your hips around when you felt the knot about to break, your eyes squeezing shut, and before you knew it your pants became soaked with your juices. 

His fingers slowed down until he gently pulled them out, making you whimper softly. He removed his hand from your pants as he looked down at you, watching as you caught your breath, face flushed a soft pink. He smirked to himself as he moved his face from yours, his hand gently rubbing against your tummy, 

“Are you going to be a good girl now?” He asked, his fingers dancing over the hem of your pants again. Your gaze shifted up to the smug smile on his face, furrowing your eyebrows as you huffed softly, “Shut up!” You spat out at him, leaning a bit further back on the desk. He chuckled as he gently shook his head, moving his hand to the back of your neck as he leaned you back in.

“I guess you need a bit more teaching, hm?” He said just above a whisper, leaning in close to you again, his breath hitting your ear as his other hand sliding from your tummy to under your thighs, lifting you up before making you stand before he turned you around and roughly shoved you against the desk, your ass now pressed against his hips. You gasped, your face getting even more flushed as you felt the bulge between his legs, pressed right against your sweet heat. You felt his hand trailing along your back before he grabbed the hem of your pants for a third time, and pulled them down swiftly, watching how they fell around your ankles.

You squealed at the action, feeling more exposed than ever, being bent over your desk, with your pants pulled down. You tried to stand up properly but you were quickly pushed back down, his right hand holding the back of your neck down as you heard the soft jingle of his belt being undone, making your eyes widen as you tried to look back, his hand lightly squeezing your neck as you felt him lean over you, his chest making contact with your back, as he slid his belt through his pant loops, tosing it to the floor with a soft clink of the metal,

“Such an annoying little fucker ain’t ya?” He teased, his hand letting go of your neck and moving to your right hand, grabbing it gently before slamming it against the desk, intertwining his fingers through yours as he held your hand down. Meanwhile his other hand fumbled with his zipper, swiftly undoing it and pulling his pants down a little, exposing his black boxers. You grunted as you tried to squirm away, but paused as soon as you heard him pull his boxers down, letting his hardened shaft gently rest against your ass. You shuddered, feeling the warmth of it and the girth. 

You gulped, your eyes squeezing shut as his other hand gently trailed along your side before finding your panties, and quickly pulling them down, letting them fall to the bottom of your thighs. He pulled his hips back, letting his cock rub against your went cunt, making you whimper,

“Mhh..” The noises you made sounded so pathetic to your normal bratty behavior and tough demeanor, making you now look so vulnerable and small. Before you could react he pushed the tip in, giving you a nice stretch and making you moan softly, your body tensing under his as you felt him slowly push in, the stretch increasing before you felt his hips make contact with your ass again, him now balls deep inside your dripping cunt. You tummy slightly bulged with the intrusion. He groaned as he started to move his hips, pulling out and slamming back in, his tip kissing you cervix with every thrust and making you cry out in pleasure, “A-Ahh~” You moaned, you body being shoved forward with the force of his thrusts as he kept going, his hips moving faster every second,

“Holt shit..” You heard him mumble, before one of his hands grabbed your hair, moving it to the side of your neck as you felt his lips press against the back of your neck, giving messy open-mouthed kisses and licks, making you shudder and your eyes flutter open. Your eyes pricked with tears at the overwhelming amount of pleasure, the familiar knot making its way back into your tummy. You felt him slightly tug on your hair, making your eyes slightly roll back, the tears now gently running down your rosy cheeks,

“Mh-mhh..” You whimpered as you closed your mouth, trying to not be so loud so the whole dormitory didn’t hear your sweet sounds. You pussy squelched with every thrust, making you whimper and whine into the desk as you lowered your head, the pleasure almost being too much for you to handle. As you felt the knot build you felt a pair of teeth sink into your delicate flesh, making you yelp in surprise, the knot snapping in half as you felt your legs tremble with pleasure, your eyes roll back and your body arching into the desk as you came.

You heard a berate of curses from your roommate when you came, his thrusts increasing speed as he fucked you through your orgasm, soon filling you to the brim with his seed as he came as well.

You both panted as you both came down from your highs. You could feel his cum slightly leak from your little hole, dripping down your folds, 

“Such a good little girl…” You heard him whisper, feeling his place soft kisses to the back of your neck and shoulders, making you shiver slightly. You slightly huffed and tried to stand up straight, before he pushed you back down like the last time, “Never said you could get up yet, you little shit..”

[alieinthemorning]

Hello! May I send a request for Twisted Wonderland?

Leona and Malleus specifically, reacting to a Gender Neutral Reader with the power of a empathic healer, meaning they can heal people by taking their injuries and placing them on themselves? They used this power very often due to them hating to see people hurt when they can help?

Thank you!

For Thee, Not for Me [Leona Kingscholar || Malleus Draconia]

Content: Blood and Injury, Reader has a Unique Magic | Signature Spells, Strong Language, Inappropriate Use of Unique Magic | Signature Spells, Can Be Read as Platonic or Romantic, Angst 

Pronouns: None

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don't forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

You liked Magishift. It was a fast-paced game that if you weren’t paying close attention to, you'd miss a play that would have the disc in the other team’s possession. You liked it so much that you usually sat in for the Magishift club’s practice. 

Well, that wasn’t the full truth. The reason why you sat in on so many practices, mainly the practice matches, was because you were their self-imposed medic. Most of the time you dealt with injuries that could be resolved with a med-kit, other times you needed to use healing magics.

Then there were days like these,

“Worry not, there’s nothing for you to abide by. Leave all your worries to me. For Me, Not Thee.”

You didn’t even flinch as the deep gash along Epel’s forehead (and other more minor injuries) transferred from him to you. Instead, you immediately placed a hand to your temple, the ever so familiar tingle thrumming against your skin.  

You turned to the student who had caused the injury. “I would say be more careful, but that was obviously on purpose.” Your tone was flat, and your eyes were somewhat narrowed. 

You weren’t really mad, mainly disappointed. You hated when they got like this, when one of them felt like another was doing better, so they needed to sabotage in order to feel better about themselves. 

His lips curled back, obviously surprised that you had the audacity to call him out on his shit. “What the fuck do you know—”

“More than you, obviously.” Leona cut him off as he approached. “If you can’t keep your shit together, then you can go. Don’t need no pussy-footed fuckers on the team.” Despite the vulgarity of his words, his look was something else entirely. Full authority, no room for negotiation. 

That student has lost his position on the team. 

You sighed internally, knowing that this would cause more problems for you in the long run. 

Then, after checking on you and Epel (and making sure Epel thanked you), Leona had practice continue as normal. While you just sat there healing your head wound. Once practice was over, you were escorted back to your dorm by Ruggie. You also found yourself in his company for the next two weeks.

You had to continuously bite your cheek to keep yourself from blurting out your appreciation, not only for him, but his Dorm Leader. 

On the days without Magshift practice, you found yourself under a large tree watching Sebek and Silver spar with their batons. You found their dedication to their Lord admirable, that even in a school of adolescents that held no worthy flame to the Prince of Briar Valley that they would so diligently practice the sword. 

However, yet again, you had another reason for watching them so closely.  

Because no matter how quick and calculated their strikes may be, accidents are always along the horizon. 

He didn’t make a sound, just dropped to one knee as he clutched his side. You were at his side in mere moments. 

“Worry not, there’s nothing for you to abide by. Leave all your worries to me. For Me, Not Thee.”

This time you did flinch as the injury transferred. You weren’t fully healed from Epel’s injury, alongside others, and taking a new, serious one so soon really affected you. You slammed your eyes shut and clapped a hand over your mouth, bile threatening its way up your throat. Thankfully, with a pair of hands to steady your swaying body and another to rub soothing circles along your back, you were able to weather that storm. 

However, even though you had begun the healing process, you had found yourself in a bit of a bind.

“Ah. I’ll have to ask a favor of the two of you.” You hated to do this, but you knew that you were in bad condition. “Could you help me back to my dorm?”

“Of course.” Silver said as he helped you to your feet, then slung your arm over his shoulders. 

Sebek was hovering at your other side, biting his lip harshly.

You smiled, “If you keep biting your lip like that, I’ll have to take that injury too, you know.” He stopped, but he was still frowning deeply. 

Ah. 

Out of all the people who hated when you used your Unique Magic like this, Sebek was one of your most vocal. So this blunder must really be hurting him. 

You frowned as well.

Oh, if only you could take away negative emotions as well. 

The return to your room was quiet and filled with plenty of quick glances. The long stares had died down after your second year. You had been dubbed “Healer” by your peers, and even the freshmen knew of you. Someone to go to if you were in danger. 

Once they had made sure you were fine and settled, they set to leave.

Or rather, Silver did. Sebek lingered at your bedside, working at his lower lip again. You sent Silver off, then waited for Sebek. 

He didn’t have much to say. “You cannot keep pushing yourself like this.” His voice was soft, yet firm. “When you fall, who attends to you?” 

You smiled, but didn’t respond. He had heard your answer before.

“As long as everyone else is safe” then I don’t matter.

You should have seen this coming. You knew that despite your new-found companionship, that there would always be someone lurking in the shadows. 

So when the sudden shove at your back forced you forward, you were only mildly surprised. 

Your brain had already begun listing all the injuries you could get from being pushed down the stairs, reacting immediately when one of many was obtained. 

You didn’t scream, just grunted as you tumbled to the landing, biting your lip as the splitting headache made its way between your eyes. 

The both of you were quiet. You focused on healing and him focused on your silent, unmoving body. Then there was a flash of green, a short shriek then nothing again because you had passed out at that point.

Although, one last thought you had before you relinquish your consciousness was: 

“I’m gonna punch the shit outta that fucker once I’m in the clear.”

World traveled fast at Night Raven College. Especially when he was hidden in what he would consider to be plain sight. And regardless of whispers, his ears were sharper than most. 

He didn’t even wait for them to leave before he emerged from his resting place and set out to find you. His pace quickened as more and more information slipped from loose lips. You had healed two major injuries within the past week, which meant you weren’t in the best shape. But what was worse, is that you were shoved down a flight of stairs.

By one of his own.

He was going to hold him, but not until after he checked on you.

“Why are you here.” He snarled upon arrival. 

Of all the people who could have been at your bedside, this was the one he was least expecting. 

The Horned-Bastard himself, Malleus fucking Draconia.

The lizard-fucker turned to face him, head slightly tilted to the side with a small grin. “Fixing another one of your messes, it seems.” 

Leona growled, taking a threatening step forward. Malleus’ grin grew wider. 

“If either of you start, I swear I will never heal you again.” You croaked from the bed, forcing yourself upright. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me…” Leona groaned, wiping a hand down his face. He crossed the room, ignoring the horned-bastard. “Didn’t even lay hands on’em, and you’re already thinking about healing—you’re the one in bed, dumbass.” 

You sniffled. “It’s just a White Cold.” He rolled his eyes. Of course, you would get sick from over healing yourself. “I’ve already taken the medicine for it, so I should be fine in a day or two.” You smiled at him—the both of them. “Thanks for checking in on me, though.”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes again, just turned his back on you. “Why do I even bother…”

“Oh, if you’re gonna go now, can I ask you to do me a favor, Leona?” His ears perked up at that, you rarely asked for anything. “Could you handle the one from before? The pussy-footed fucker?”

“Snrk!” He slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the laugh. He was not expecting you to say that. Once he regained himself, he answered. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. I was already headed that way.” As much as he disliked leaving you with Draconia, he had to make sure business was handled. 

And the business was handled well. 

A hand on the back of the neck. Magic cracking down the back.

“I am hunger. I am thirst. I am what robs you of tomorrow. King’s Roar.” 

“One wrong step, and I’ll put your remains in an hourglass.” Was the only thing he said to him before he let the pussy-footed fucker loose.

Someone removed themselves from the shadows with a sigh. “I’m sure you’re gonna ask me to keep an eye on him, right?”

“No. I want you to keep an eye on the Healer. Make friends.” He rolled his shoulders. “I’ll make sure to compensate you.” 

“Oh? Shishishi…aye, aye, sir!” Ruggie gave him a two finger salute before making his exit. 

Leona sighed. “I’m tired…”

Request complete! Thank you for requesting!

This was actually really fun to write, especially since I pushed myself to write at least 1,000 words. Well I actually wrote 1.5K!

Also please note that I call Spell Drive "Magishift" and I literally refuse to call it anything else.

This also very quickly became a Leona-centric thing (and also Sebek??? he had his little moment) instead of Leona and Malleus, but hey he at least showed up lmao.

Ko-Fi | Commission | Masterlist[Leona] | Masterlist[Malleus]

[arcanarix]

Fated Divergence, Ch. 2 // Yandere! Suguru Geto X Non-Sorcerer Darling

AO3 (+prev. chapter)

“Son of a bitch.”

Just when you believed this day couldn’t get much worse (and it was barely 9AM!), you returned to where you parked your car only to find the rear-end damaged. Banged up and everything!

You stormed your feet on the concrete and almost wanted to clutch your head from the sheer frustration of your entire existence!

“Are you fucking shitting me?!”

You grumbled a string of curses to yourself as you dialed Mei’s number.

“Hey! Mei, someone rear-ended my car in the parking deck.”

“Aw man, that sucks! We can check security to see if we can get the license plate of the person who did it, and hopefully your insurance will cover that for you. Are you doing okay? My shift just ended, so I can meet you there.”

“Awesome, because I have so much tea to spill to you in person. I had an… interesting encounter.”

“Interesting like hot guy interesting or interesting like I hope I never see this fucker again interesting?"

You bit back a snort at such a typical follow-up question.

“Weirdly enough, both.”

Not much longer, and Mei appeared by your side with her things. You hung up your phone as you spun around to face her. She jingled her keys and eyed the damage on your Honda.

“Sheesh, that sucks,” she muttered, brushing her blonde hair away. “We didn’t catch much on the security cameras, for some reason it was acting all buggy. But do tell about this fateful encounter.”

“It was Suguru Geto,” you replied as if it was not that big of a deal.

“That crazy cult leader who thinks he’s God, or something? He runs Star Religious Group, right?” she asked. You nodded.

“Yeah, that’s the one. All I can say is that at least he puts the ‘hot’ in ‘psychotic,’ but that’s as far as things go… he’s as full of that nutty spiritual shit as they come.”

“Sounds like there’s something more to this,” she remarked. Always one to read between the lines… it kind of drove you nuts, sometimes. But at the same time, you had come to appreciate that about her because most people took things at face value in times when they shouldn’t.

You trailed off, eyes rolling upward while thinking to yourself as you tried to make sense of the encounter you had. Suguru Geto… how did someone describe Suguru Geto, someone with a working brain, at least? To you, he seemed like he came off as someone who lost sight of reality the moment he got out of his sheltered lifestyle. He seemed too…wrapped up in his own fucked up ideologies to understand that none of what he preached truly made sense. It seemed like he was at least self-aware enough tor realize that, though, when he put you on the spot asking if he frightened you or not.

Case in point, all that you could say about Suguru Geto was that he was just another nutcase who branded himself with some weird God or martyr complex.

“He seemed…” you began, twirling a stray strand of hair. “…out of it. And he was weirdly very touchy with me, someone he deems beneath him and like he was under a spell when he saw me. Almost like…” You couldn’t word it. “Almost like there was some spark in his eyes. He even gave me his business card that had his address to the Star Religious Group temple, but I ripped it up. No way in Hell would I ever go to him for anything. I like to think I have a working brain.”

“Smart,” she replied after listening to every word, while nodding. “That guy is bad news and reeks of megalomaniac. Some of our patients and co-workers seem to think he’s legit, though, with exorcising demons or whatever.”

You shrugged, deciding it was best not to dwell on the encounter longer than necessary. It was likely you were never going to run into him again—not if you could help it.

“Whatever helps them sleep at night, I guess. It was just…I don’t know. Just thinking about that look on his face when he stared me down, I just… don’t know how to describe it. I just knew he wanted something from me, and I hope that it isn’t as a sacrifice for the ‘greater good.’”

How not so far from the truth you were about that speculation, though, given his ideologies that the general public had no clue about…

You caught Mei smiling that ‘you’re missing something’ smile, with that mischievous twinkle in those big ole green eyes of hers. You hated guessing games, so glaring back at her, you let out a groan.

“Just spit it out, Mei.”

“You do realize Suguru Geto is still a man beyond all of that delusional grandeur, right?” she sang through giggles. “Maybe the crazy cult leader has the hots for you. You never acknowledge it yourself, babe, but you are a hot piece of ass. And he is likely a simple man with very simple…urges.”

You grimaced. “That’s just nasty. Not like I’d ever hook up with a psychotic cult leader.”

Mei howled with laughter, shoulders shaking.

Tossing her free hand in the air and waving dismissively, she replied: “Not like you haven’t had worse hookups, like Raito from Tinder.”

“Oh my God! You’re ridiculous,” you scoffed, making a retching sound at the reminder. “But you know what—you’re not wrong. He was definitely the epitome of the worst sex to ever have and I hope never to have a repeat of that encounter.”

You two shared another laugh before exchanging smiles. As the laughter died down, you sighed, taking a final glance at the damage of the car you weren’t sure your insurance would cover.

“Thanks for hearing me out. So much for figuring out who damaged my car, but I guess I’ll just have to figure out if I can find someone who can fix it.”

“You really are having quite the Monday, aren’t you?” Mei teased while raising an eyebrow.

You gave Mei a pointed look.

“Oh, don’t even get me started on that again.”

-- --- -- -- --

When you left the parking deck with Mei, you weren’t aware of the numerous eyes fixated on you. Some even in your car…

Some curses Geto had absorbed from naïve clients he had implanted near you to keep a close watch on everything you did.

He also did a little digging on you.

An only child, parents gone from the world some time ago (and therefore not much for him to clean up for your sake) … no other family that you knew of either.

A perfect specimen, indeed. An exception, he didn’t think he could find it before.

Not even his parents. He knew that was taking an extreme measure, but they were asleep and unsuspecting when he committed the deed. They didn’t suffer, as far as he knew. They didn’t suffer, since they didn't know it was he who put them out of their misery. His parents would be used as leverage against him, and not only was that a way to show no exception for his new regime, but it was also a way to make sure nothing would complicate his agenda.

Not only that, he pondered further, but perhaps he had been vengeful and vindictive that his parents placed him in a world with this much ugliness.

He watched with a veil concealed around the area as you drove off. He may or may not have been responsible for the damage to your car. Completely an accident this time around, since he absorbed another curse, but the typical human eye wouldn’t be able to detect what happened.

Little by little, each step would bring you closer to him.

No matter where you went, no matter whether you truly believed in him or not…

Soon enough, he was going to be the answer to all of your prayers. He would be your salvation, just as you became his.

After all, every perfect God needed his lovely wife. Perhaps having a non-sorcerer around his arms would provide those other monkeys a false sense of security, a reason to believe in his cause a little more.

Besides, in spite of your monkey status, you were still the fairest of the land.

As you drove off, he commenced Phase 1 of his plan.

Only he would be able to help these unsuspecting monkeys break free from the curses he released in the area.

In due time, my sweet, he thought as his eyes darkened. In due time.

-- --- -- -- --

After spending some time with Mei, you returned to your dingy old apartment that you kept telling yourself you’d move out of but somehow never did. Somewhere down the line, you decided that served its purpose, and you didn’t really need the aesthetic lifestyle.

You flopped onto your couch and sighed, glancing at the digital clock perched on top of your humble sized TV.

Only 1PM now… so the day still had the potential to get worse, huh?

Or better, if you stopped being such a goddamn pessimist.

You flipped through some channels, settling on some old timey crime drama you heard Mei used to rave about all the damn time. Seemed as formulaic and predictable as ever, but at least it filled the silence with something other than your damning thoughts often circling back to that encounter with Suguru Geto.

Which, by that point, your inclination to be curious against your better judgment took over.

You wondered if there had to be any dirt on this guy. Well, apart from what was known to the general public. Superficially charming but dealt a ruthless hand just for the sheer anarchial point of it. You decided to settle into your desk and boot up your computer.

So … did he go any deeper than just an egotistical megalomaniac with a God-complex?

You paused, taking a moment to consider your actions. Why was this suddenly so interesting to you? All you could do was speculate. When you searched him up, all you found were conspiracy theories (which probably weren’t far off) about him having disdain toward people who didn’t view his ‘spiritual gift’ as valuable or even real.

As you were browsing online through conspiracy theorist forums, which were nuttier than Suguru Geto himself if anyone could believe it, you weren’t aware of the cursed spirit perched just above you, with a camera lodged in its mouth to capture everything you did at every waking moment from then on out.

It’s not a secret that the great Suguru Geto possesses disdain for non-believers. Is it really hard to understand the power he possesses, a gift from God, perhaps? Maybe he might be God.

He saved my daughter from being plagued by her sleep paralysis demons, which he explained weren’t sleep paralysis demons at all. A spirit had been attached to her and once he absorbed it, she has never complained of episodes since.

Suguru Geto is a savior to us all.

“These guys are nuts,” you muttered to yourself as you idly munched on some trail mix while digging more into Suguru. “These are probably the same guys who think vaccines cause autism…”

There wasn’t much more to gauge out of these forums. All of them shared similar stories, but you wondered if people spoke of poor experiences or service with Suguru Geto.

Did anyone else find something extremely unsettling about Suguru Geto? When I took my daughter to his temple, he had no problem changing our last name just because ‘Sato’ was easier than ‘Saito’.

You almost snorted. That sounded so dumb and unserious, yet this man did have a dangerous air to him. Maybe all you could chalk him up to was that he had a few screws loose and that was as far as things went.

You exited out of these forums, deciding that expanding upon on your research on this guy wasn’t worth your energy.

Besides, you had an early shift tomorrow. (You double-checked your calendar this time.)

-- --- -- -- --

The next morning, during your shift, you had been approached by a tall man with white hair. He wore a blindfold, for whatever reason, and wore a school uniform.

You stood, dumbfounded, wondering what he could possibly want. You were in charge of this floor, and he seemed…distressed. Far from uncommon on these grounds, of course. You worked at a fucking clinic.

“Hello,” you greeted, eyebrows scrunching as you studied the man. “May I help you?”

“Did this man happen to appear in this area in the last few days?” He presented a picture of, hey what did you know? Suguru Geto.

Except you almost wouldn’t have recognized him—he seemed so normal in the picture the man showed you. The Suguru Geto you met adorned himself in a robe, with long unkempt hair, his bonier body, and a manic grin. Here, he seemed refined, healthy and strong. Poised, with a clean bun and a handsome, winning smile.

Your jaw practically hung open at the stark contrast.

What the fuck kind of glow down was that, actually?

Gathering yourself, you cleared your throat.

“Ah. Yes, he has been sighted around here. Not here in the clinic, but I saw him at the bakery just a few blocks away from here.”

“Good to know.” He towered over you the way Suguru Geto did; they were maybe around the same height. He looked like he was studying you but unlike Geto, he respected your space. Especially since you were in the middle of an early shift.

“Listen, Miss,” he glanced at your name tag and sounded out your name. You nodded as he guessed correctly. “Just watch your back, alright? I hope you didn’t address him as Geto instead of Suguru if he talked to you. The guy’s particular about that, for some reason.”

Yeah, the guy’s practically infamous for wanting to be seen as important, you thought to yourself with a frown, mostly because of the way Gojo likely wasn’t staring at you but whatever was going on around you.

He seemed to sense someone, or something (or hell, even both) around you that you couldn’t figure out.

“I’m going to make regular visits here,” he continued, “My name is Satoru Gojo. The clinic knows my face fairly well by now by how many civilians we bring here for them to mend from…accidents.”

“Ah,” you acknowledged, dumbfounded as ever but deciding not to probe him with questions. The hell was up with all of the cryptic shit? You really didn’t care all that much. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Gojo. But I must return to my patients.”

“Of course, ma’am.”

Not much longer, and you heard his footsteps receding to the nearest exit.

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

I have an request 🖐️!

This time with Nathaniel Norwell. Could you do NSFW where Nathaniel accuses reader (secretly a masochistic) of using witchcraft because he can’t stop thinking of them (*cough* cause he’s a dumbass and his sex ed was nonexistent *cough*), but still ends up succumbing, shaming and dirty talk all the way? Slight dubious consent on reader’s end, but overall a wild time as the person they have feelings of admiration for goes down on them?

(Sorry about the wording choices! 😅)

The way the Night Watch is judging all of us who think his twin is hot bhfvhfvhbvb

Rated: Explicit | Warnings: witch hunt tbh is the warning, religious themes, reader in that yolo slut era (good for them tbh), modern reader

Nathaniel is on edge again as he paces the shared room with his murderer and twin, the usual tension between them is normal but this time it is not caused by mutual hatred. No, Nathaniel's plight is caused by the betrayal of his heart (Ithaqua had been quick to say he is surprised the man has one). Nathaniel had given into the temptation of lust when he found release by using your mouth, using you like some harlot. It was meant to be degrading but it made the spell tighten its hold on him.

The choking grip of the devil's claws cutting into the heart of Witch Hunt's heart, the restless nights when Nathaniel is alone in this room to echoing thoughts of your mocking voice.

“Deus meus, credo in te, spero in te, amo te super omnia ex tota anima mea, ex toto corde meo, ex totis viribus meis: amo te quia es infinite bonus et dignus qui ameris; et quia amo te, me paeitet ex toto corde te offendisse: miserere mihi peccatori. Amen.” Whispered urgently, with a wild look in those unnatural golden eyes, the cross around his neck held in one hand.

Ithaqua is on the bed not bothering to listen to the ramblings of a religious fanatic who just discovered he is not as holy as he thinks. Ithaqua does find that funny seeing the turmoil that a crush (a term Lucky Guy said when chaired during a duo match) causes Nathaniel to pray then lash out at himself— Pencence by inflicting upon himself.

Ithaqua finds it sickening and usually leaves the room when Nathaniel starts that nonsense.

Luckily, the other hunter does not start it as he is scheduled for a match soon, a solo hunt and Ithaqua can sleep in peace for a while instead of hearing this twisted nonsense. Especially the parts, when Nathaniel starts whispering about your beauty, the way you must have cast a spell on him— Nonsense and Ithaqua, felt anger building yet remained quiet.

In the end, you are prey—to be hunted over and over. Of course, you find your ways to escape, but once the wolf has the scent, there is no way for you to truly escape.

“Burning the witch. It is the only way, yes, make them suffer.” This spell can only be broken with your death, a true death with you burning at the stake being cleansed by fire, and begging for the Lord’s mercy.

The manor imprisons all. The wolf will continue the chase, feasting on the endless cycle.

Nathaniel leaves all too quickly, with excitement in his steps. Ithaqua lies down to enjoy the temporary peace and quiet.

Again!

“Release me from your curse, witch!”

Again he is trapped in your web of lust, the sight of you once more causing him to take you the way he heard Antonio's demon and Jack speak of unholy desires of the flesh.

“I didn't do anything to you, fucker!”

“Lies!” He yells as he pulls on the chain he wrapped around your neck like a leash, “You will repent and beg for His mercy for I will give you none!”

It is kinda wild how the actual nun in the manor is a lot more normal than this guy! Your hand trying to loosen the damn chain while your other hand grips his back.

This is probably the strangest way to end up having hate sex you could ever think of. You have to admit it is hot but after the blow job because he could not believe he got a hard-on caused by your presence; you might have to end this weird arrangement.

“As if I want to bewitch you! Your brother is hotter!” Figuring that at him will make him stop in disgust, chair you quickly too. Instead, he stops and fucking growls like you stepped on his tail. You feel very small as panic shoots through you, along with other things.

“He cannot have you, witch.” You are suddenly aware that the only barrier between you both is clothes, you had no problem with him grinding against you but the way he says that. You squeal when he bites your throat as he hands frantically trying to touch you, cursing you as much as you cursed him. “You are mine. Mine!”

God, wow, hot and concerning as hell! This manor is full of making bad choices and well you can add this to your collection.

[belphegor1982]

Scanlan with 17, if you feel so inclined ✨

(17. Tending to an injury/wound/illness from the Put That Guy in a Situation™ Ask Game/Prompt list)

*rubs hands* You know, it just so happens that I had an idea floating in my head and that I was able to use it for your prompt. Thought it might be a nice little 1,000-word story, maaaaybe 2,000, but instead have this 6,100 word behemoth! Thank you so much for the opportunity to write for these characters 💜 I'll post it on AO3 ASAP!

—

Friends in Low Places

“—og! Grog! Scanlan! Can you hear me?”

There’s a voice in Grog’s ear, piercing through the fog, and he makes an effort to shake the cobwebs because Pike almost sounds scared and she never does.

It works, and he realises a few things in rapid succession:

Pike is calling through the earring.

They were all fighting some big beast with lots of teeth and claws. Now they’re not. (At least Grog isn’t.)

They were in a cave, deep underground, and the fight happened right next to a really big drop. Presumably Grog is still in the cave, just… a lot lower.

And last, he’s covered in rocks and pebbles and dirt like a blanket, curled up on himself around something warm and small –

Oh, that’s another thing: Scanlan is alive, too. His breath is coming hard and fast against the middle of Grog’s chest, tickling the scar tissue there, and he’s clutching Grog so tight Grog can almost feel the sting of nails. (Grog likes to think he has really thick skin, so that’s saying something.)

“Guys, speak up if you’re okay – or at least alive,” comes another voice, sharper. Vex.

Grog feels Scanlan move around a little.

“I don’t know about ‘okay’,” he croaks, like the inside of his throat is coated in dust, same as Grog. His voice makes a weird echo in the earring. “But, uh, the other thing, I guess.”

Scanlan is one of those people who often uses more words than necessary. Grog doesn’t mind; that’s just how he is. Besides, Scanlan being tricky with words is a good thing more often than not.

Still, Grog unlocks one of his arms to touch his own earring and says, “We’re good.”

There’s an assortment of relieved noises in his ear. Instead of trying to make out what Vex, Vax, Percy and Keyleth are saying (that would take too long), he zeroes in on Pike’s voice. It shakes just a little still when she asks, “Do you think you can climb back up?”

Good question. Grog unfolds completely – realising in the process that he’s been wrapped around Scanlan, who also slowly lets go of him – and looks up.

And up.

Not that he can see all that well in the dark, even with the dull light of some of the weird worms Keyleth said are attracted to warm spots, but man, this cliff is high. And, unfortunately, way too steep to climb.

“I don’t think so,” says Scanlan, his head tilted real far back, and Grog remembers gnomes can see pretty well in the dark. “I can’t even see you guys.”

“Man, this is deep. How the hell are you still alive?” There’s wonder in Vax’s voice. Now that Grog thinks about it, yeah, that’s a good question.

They’ve been hired by a local mine owner to kill a monster that mangled and munched on some miners; nobody was sure what it was, other than pointy, dangerous, and probably hungry. After two days underground the S.H.I.T.s finally found the thingy – a big beast with long spikes on its tail and fangs that had to be worth a lot of gold each. Grog, who still had no idea what it was except ‘a future corpse’ (and didn’t really care), called it ‘the thingy’. Then, since it just wouldn’t die, apparently, not without trying to take all of them with it, he called it ‘that fucker’ as he hacked at it with his great axe, grinning all the while (gods, whaling on monsters is fun). And then none of that shit mattered, because it scuttled back and swept its tail behind in a wide arc, aiming for the spot Scanlan stood at a safe distance hitting it with magic (and hitting them with healing spells).

Grog completely stopped enjoying himself or wondering what the creature was called. Instinct took over. He bolted between the spikes and his friend and the giant tail knocked them both over the edge of a drop.

Neither of them died, so clearly it was the best decision.

“What happened to the thingy?” he asks as Scanlan opens his mouth to answer Vax’s question. That seems more of a pressing concern.

“Oh, it’s dead,” comes Keyleth’s voice, then some shuffling as Grog pictures her nudging something heavy with her foot. “Yup, very dead. Ew.”

“I’ll put a handful of fangs into the bag of holding,” says Vex, sounding like she’s not exactly looking forward to it, “so we can show them to Barandiaran and get paid. A couple of those spikes, too. Doesn’t look like they’re venomous, but they might be worth something. Oh, and Keyleth picked up your axe, Grog.”

“Hey, thanks, Keyleth.” Grog feels a little naked without his great axe, but at least he knows it’s in good hands and he’s gonna get it back soon.

Scanlan, who’s been looking a little put out that Grog cut him off, crosses his arms and looks vaguely upwards, in the direction Grog assumes the rest of their friends are.

“Yeah, that’s nice. What about us? How do we come up?”

“I’m not sure you can,” Percy remarks, sounding distracted, like he’s thinking hard. Just as Grog and Scanlan glance at each other in alarm, he continues, “So I guess we’ll have to go to you. Do you see a way out?”

“Hah, yeah sure, we… Wait.” Scanlan peers towards the back of the cavern which, to Grog, looks exactly like the sides of the cavern – utterly dark. “Hang on, I think we actually passed this way earlier on our way up. It’s not far from where we last set up camp to lunch-dinner-whatever.”

“Are you sure?”

If it was anyone else than Pike who asked, Grog is fairly sure Scanlan would have said something snarky; but Scanlan is funny about Pike. Even in the dark at a foot of a cliff, where she can’t see him, he beams like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Sure I’m sure! I dropped an apple core not far from here – pretty sure I can find it again if nothing ate it in the meantime.”

“Do not move,” says Vex, almost as sharp as when she demanded a sign of life from them. “Seriously. Stay put, we’re coming down to meet you. You’re closer to the way out anyway, we’ll be retracing our steps.”

“Sure you’re both okay?” Pike asks. “Not hurt?”

Grog smiles. As usual, he took some damage in the fight, scuffs and scrapes and things – he’s definitely gonna have new scars on his shoulder and his thigh – but he’s super tough and he heals fast. And apart from a few bruises of his own Scanlan doesn’t move like someone who’s injured.

They both reply in the negative. Scanlan’s answer is longer and more flowery. Pike says, “…O–kay,” a little uncertain, but it sounds more like she’s still worried rather than her usual disconcerted and/or amused response to Scanlan being Scanlan. Then, because she’s the best, she adds just for Grog, “See you soon, buddies” before the earrings go silent as they walk away and out of range.

The scratch on his thigh is smarting a little and sending tingles down his leg, so Grog makes himself comfortable on the ground while Scanlan stares up the cliff with a funny look on his face.

“That really was a hell of a drop, huh.” He looks back at Grog and smiles. “Thanks, bud. I think I would’ve looked like one of those fancy holey cheeses if you hadn’t been there.”

Grog shrugs. “I mean, it’s not a big deal.” Then, as Scanlan gets a look on his face like he disagrees and it is a big deal, “Hey, by the way, did you do somethin’? ‘Cause for a second there I thought we were gonna go splat.”

He registered sensations as they fell, other than the wind whistling in his ears and his body trying to curl into the tightest ball imaginable to protect his insides and Scanlan’s. A muffled voice against his chest, a warm tingle enveloping him, the impression that the world slowed down for a couple of heartbeats before he crashed into the ground. Either he developed powers – which he doesn’t rule out, maybe he is a secret wizard and just didn’t know it till then – or Scanlan used his own.

It’s hard to see in the mostly-dark, but he thinks Scanlan looks miffed at the ‘no big deal’ for a second before he shakes his head and grins.

“Well, yeah. I had one spell left in me and I wasn’t about to—what the hell, Grog, is that blood yours!?”

His face went from smiling to shocked in the middle of his sentence. Grog frowns and looks down.

Oh.

Yeah.

Shit.

The scratch on his leg isn’t very big, but turns out it’s a lot deeper than he thought. One of the thingy’s tail spikes must have gone deep into the meat of his thigh. It doesn’t hurt more than the kind of injury that takes care of itself with a bit of rest, so Grog honestly hasn’t noticed till now, but it’s bleeding steadily, probably has been since their fall. There would be a little puddle of blood on the ground under his knee if rivulets weren’t slowly trickling down the slow incline and around the bigger pebbles. The back of his trouser leg is warm and sticky almost down to the top of his boot.

“Huh,” says Grog, blinking down. At least that explains the pins and needles in his leg. “That’s, uh. Not. Good?”

“Not good, sure, let’s go with that.” Scanlan hurries closer and starts rummaging around Grog’s belt and trousers. Good thing Grog isn’t ticklish.

“Lookin’ for something?”

“Yeah, the bag – where is it?”

“I don’t have the bag,” says Grog, who doesn’t like that Scanlan’s usual grin disappeared. Scanlan’s always smiling. “I gave it to Keyleth, and she gave it to Percy.”

“Gave it to… Why?”

“He wanted to keep working on a ‘project’ bigger than his pepperbox. Said he needed the bag to keep the parts.”

“Okay, but you don’t happen to have a healing potion on you, do you?”

“Nah, they’re all in the bag. That’s also why I gave it to Keyleth: you lot need those potions way more than me.”

Scanlan stops frisking him and stares up at him.

“I guess, but what happens when you need one and you don’t have any on hand?”

“Then Pike heals me, gets me back up. Or Keyleth, or Vex, or you. I mean, you have magic, right?”

“Sorry, big guy,” Scanlan says slowly, “I’m beat. I don’t have anything useful left – most I can do right now is try to send a message thirty feet away or hurt somebody’s feelings, and neither works on rocks.” He searches his own pockets and adds with a grimace, “Damn, I don’t even have the fun stuff on me.”

“What fun stuff?”

“Just straps and ribbons and things.” Grog blinks; Scanlan shrugs. “You never know when you’re gonna meet somebody who’s down with a bit of bondage. But they’re all in my pack, and I put my pack in the bag of holding –”

“Why’d you do that?”

“Because it was heavy and I wanted to move quickly in case we found the thingy, or the other way around!”

That’s… a good reason, Grog muses. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that not everyone has his muscles and endurance.

Scanlan stands there for a second, his hands in his pockets, slouching slightly. He bites his lip, looks at Grog’s leg, and shrugs off the leather vest he uses as armour. Then he starts to undo the few buttons on his shirt that aren’t already undone.

“Uhh,” says Grog, baffled, “what are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m stripping.”

“Okay, but why? Oh, you mean you wanna, like, bang?”

Grog knows Scanlan likes having sex, a lot. Which is fair; so does Grog. Having sex is awesome. But this is Scanlan, his second best little buddy, the guy who never balks at going with him to houses of lady favours, one of the very few people he knows who never talk down to him or treat him like he’s too stupid to understand things. Grog loves him a lot, and the thought of having sex with people he loves is too weird to contemplate.

Also, while a few girls Grog had the best kind of naked fun with had dicks, he’s never been with a dude, and he has a feeling it’d be kinda weird, too.

So he sits up straighter and tries to recall the words Pike taught him in case someone was interested in him and he wasn’t.

“’Cause if you do, I am sorry,” he says, sounding out each word carefully, “you are a great person and I respect you very much, but I am not attracted to you like that.”

He must have got it right on the first try, because Scanlan chuckles as he takes off his shirt.

“You don’t know what you’re missing, buddy. Don’t worry, though, I will do my best to live with the sting of rejection.”

He eyes his shirt, then Grog’s thigh, and makes a whole-body eh gesture before walking right up to Grog. “No, my big, incredibly sexy goliath friend, I’m not trying to woo you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d totally be DTF if, you know, you were interested and I’d get to not be dead by the time we’re done, but that’s not why you’re getting a strip tease.”

“So?” asks Grog, still puzzled. It was warm in the part of the cave where they fought the thingy; Keyleth said it’s because of some gas that makes it smell like walking into a fart at times. But Scanlan usually gets cold way before he does. Why did he take off his clothes?

“So, while we’re waiting for the others to waltz back in and save the day…” Scanlan stops, cocks his head to the side. “By which I mostly mean Pike. She’s amazing like that. Hopefully she still has energy for some spells left – but failing that, a bag full of healing potions works, too. Anyway,” he adds, crouching in front of Grog and trying to wedge the shirt under his thigh as gingerly as he can, “while we’re waiting, you’re getting a bandage so you don’t bleed to death. Or rather the funny word Vex said that time, way back, before Pike came into the picture… You know, the thing she tied around Vax’s arm when he got stabbed bad… What was it – sounded kinky, like pourniquey, or… Tourniquet! That’s it!”

The triumphant grin turns into a grimace when he has to pull on his shirt with all his might to fasten it properly. He’s so small there’s almost not enough material to tie a really tight knot, even when Grog gives him a hand and pulls on the sleeves as hard as he dares. So Grog also keeps his right hand firmly on the wound, half at Scanlan’s insistence and half because of a dim memory from when he was really young, of seeing a fellow member of the Herd clutching a gushing wound to keep the blood inside while other people ran for a healer. His father made him watch so he’d toughen out. Grog guesses it worked.

When they’re done, Scanlan takes a step back and a satisfied look at his handiwork with his fists on his hips.

“There you go. Deluxe bandage. I’ll be taking that shirt back when you’re done with it, though. That’s imported silk from Marquet.”

Grog watches the blood slowly seep into the fabric, dark on white, and frowns.

“Scanlan?”

“Yes, bud.”

“Do you really think I’ll bleed to death? ‘Cause that would be a shitty way to go.”

Scanlan’s eyebrows go up, his smile goes down. He goes to sit on Grog’s left and elbows him in the side.

“What? No, Grog, come on. You’ll probably go out fighting dragons and hydras, only you’ll be so old by then people will wonder How the hell is he still alive and still so awesome? Also, who is that extremely handsome gnome bard who seems so chummy with him? Do you think they’re single? Unless you’d prefer to die peacefully in your bed, surrounded by your kids and grandkids. That might not be so bad, either.”

“Pssh, are you kidding me?” Grog scoffs. “That last one sounds lame. I prefer the other one, it’s badass. Plus I’m a dude, so it’s not like I can have kids, right?”

Scanlan scrunches up his face.

“I mean. You don’t get to, you know, grow them inside you, but you do get to help make ‘em if you want some. As far as I know that’s the fun part anyway.”

Then, as Grog nods and does his best to look knowledgeable, he gives him a funny look.

“Grog.”

“Yes?”

“You… do know how kids happen, right?”

“Obviously,” says Grog, who has little to no idea, but who’d rather get stabbed by a thingy again rather than admit it.

Scanlan shuffles forward to perch himself on Grog’s good leg, just before his knee, and squints up at him.

“Okay. Spill. Where do you think babies come from?”

“’That a trick question?” Grog scratches the back of his head and tries to dredge up relevant memories. The topic’s never been of much interest to him. “Well, sometimes ladies get big, so they go to the healer’s tent and, well, they make the babies, I guess.”

About a year after he came to live with the Trickfoots, Pop-Pop Wilhand tried to explain what that entailed exactly. His explanation was long, rambly, and full of embarrassed hemming and throat-clearing. He said something about a man and a woman loving each other very much, then segued into flowers and bees, and by the time he reached the tadpoles Grog had checked out completely. He listened politely, or rather waited for Wilhand to finish his speech so he could go outside and help Pike chop up wood. Wilhand did so with relief and the pleased look of someone having Done Their Duty, and Grog walked away wondering what the hell that was about.

Technically he could ask Pike about it, of course, but he won’t. Either she got the same talk and didn’t understand either, or she knows a lot more than him and he’d look like an idiot.

It’s always hard to read Scanlan at the best of times, but at least he’s not laughing at Grog, just staring at him like he’s expecting more.

“Uh-huh. Okay. But before that?”

Grog is sitting in a puddle of blood that isn’t even someone else’s, his thigh started throbbing while he wasn’t paying attention, and he hates feeling cornered like this. His patience has limits. He crosses his arms against his chest and says in a huff, “I don’t know, mate, that looked like none of my business, so I didn’t ask, okay? Nobody ever managed to explain that shit properly, anyway, so I figured it was magic. Just works and no one really knows how.”

Scanlan looks blank for a few seconds. Then he smiles widely, and to Grog’s relief it’s not the kind of smile that means he’s gonna say something snarky.

“It’s not magic, buddy – well, not that kind of magic, anyway. It’s just sex.”

“What?” asks Grog gruffly.

“People make kids by having sex.”

“You’re messin’ with me.”

“I’m not!” exclaims Scanlan, throwing up his hands in the air. “I promise!”

Grog pauses to think. “…Really?”

“Yep. That’s why I said helping make them was the fun part, not actually making them.”

He did say that. Grog thinks some more.

“So… a dude really can’t, like. Grow a baby.”

“If he has a vag and the right insides, sure he can.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“But you need at least two people to bump uglies for that. One of each set.”

Grog taps his finger against his chin. “So, uh. How’s that work?”

And Scanlan explains, matter-of-factly, with normal words and all sorts of expressive gestures, what goes where and how. It doesn’t sound all that complicated. Why so many people clam up and go red about it is just baffling.

But then something disturbing occurs to him.

“Scanlan?”

“Oi?”

“Do I help make a baby every time I visit a house of lady favours?”

“Nah,” says Scanlan confidently. “There’s potions and cantrips for that kind of stuff. These ladies are pros, they know what they’re doing.”

“And the ladies that aren’t pros?”

Scanlan looks thoughtful for all of two seconds. Then he waves the thought away. “Like I said, potions and cantrips. I’m sure it’s fine. If you don’t forget to pull out in time it’s all hunky dory.”

“Oh, good.”

Then he remembers he’s supposed to keep a hand on his thigh, to help the doohickey do its thing. After he presses his palm flat on the wound again, though, he lifts his hand again to glance at it real quick, and frowns.

There’s a lot of blood on and under his leg. More than before. His palm drips with it and some of it is seeping up on the back of his hand from between his fingers. The doohickey did slow down the flow, but Grog’s pretty sure that so much blood on the outside rather than the inside is a bad sign. So’s the tingling that started in his fingers and has been creeping up to his elbows in the last few minutes.

Nothing he or Scanlan can do anything about, though, so he doesn’t bring it up.

Scanlan is humming absently, still sitting on Grog’s good leg. He leans back and yawns, then mutters, “Where’d they go, by way of Wildemount? We didn’t take so long going up, right?”

Grog shrugs. Without the sun or the night sky it’s always hard to tell the passage of time, so he stopped trying. Maybe it’s night outside and his body knows it, hence the impression that the ground is leeching warmth from his bones.

“Gettin’ cold too, huh?” he asks with a jerk of his chin to Scanlan’s bare chest. Scanlan shakes his head.

“Gods, no. This place is more stuffy than the Nine Hells. Well, maybe not literally, it’s probably even hotter down there, but I’m not sure it smells worse. Like… farts and rotten eggs. Ugh.”

“Can’t be that warm if I’m getting cold,” Grog points out, lower than he means to. Wait, when did it get hard to speak at a normal volume?

And why are his eyelids so heavy all of a sudden?

Scanlan’s gaze whips up to his face then down to his leg so fast Grog has trouble following. He springs up and sits astride Grog’s other knee, close enough to press a hand on the wound, right next to Grog’s. His hand is so tiny that it immediately looks like he dunked it in blood.

“Shit,” he says in a tone so sober it sends a chill up Grog’s spine. With the other hand he touches his earring. “Guys, can you hear me? Pike? Pike, we need you here, fast, it’s… Ah, fuck.”

Nobody answers. They’re still out of range. Numbers are stupid and make no sense, but ‘five hundred feet’ suddenly sounds like a lot anyway.

Numbers are stupid; Grog isn’t. He doesn’t need to be able to count to weigh up the odds and see that they’re starting to look bad. Like, bad bad.

The shirt Scanlan used as a doohickey has gone almost completely red, for one. So has the hand he’s pressing into Grog’s thigh with so much force – for him – Grog actually feels the weight of it. Maybe Grog should worry more about the dark that’s creeping up on the edges of his vision, but at this point it feels like too much pointless effort.

“Hey!”

Scanlan snaps his fingers in his face, making him start awake.

“None of that, you’re not going anywhere. Come on, you just gotta wait for the others. They’ll be here soon. Guys? I’m serious, get your asses down here stat. Tell you what, I’m gonna keep talking till one of you replies. I’m going to annoy the shit out of you and you’ll hurry back here just to get me to shut up. How’s that sound?”

Still no answer. Scanlan throws his head back and lets out a string of very creative swears. If Grog wasn’t halfway gone he’d congratulate him.

Gods, it is a shitty way to go. Bleeding out in the dark after fighting a thingy he didn’t even get to kill. Fighting dragons and hydras when he’s really old would’ve been so much more badass.

Somehow, without meaning to and even without much breath left, the words must have passed his lips, because he could swear Scanlan turns pale.

“Stop it, okay? You’re not helping. Forget the thingy, you’re not dying now just because of… Godsdammit! Guys! Help! Pike!”

The last word sends a jolt throughout Grog’s body. Pike is kind and bright, fierce and strong; she loves drinking and fighting and helping people. She would get sad if he died, and the world isn’t right when Pike is sad. Scanlan gets it. He’s always trying to make her smile or laugh.

“Come on, buddy, please don’t – PIKE! Oh guys, thank gods, just – no, shut up, get the fuck over here now! Pike… Please…”

Scanlan’s voice cracks a little on the last word. Grog didn’t know it could do that.

The last thought that successfully takes shape in his brain is that maybe this isn’t such a shitty way to go, after all. He saved Scanlan from the thingy, and Scanlan saved them both from the fall; and sure, he’s not taking a big badass monster with him, but he’s dying with a good friend at his side. It would have been a bummer to die alone, in the ass crack of the world, with miles and miles of rock between him and the open sky.

Grog’s right hand goes slack and slides down from his thigh.

Scanlan makes a strangled noise.

“Grog, don’t you fucking dare—”

Everything stops.

* * *

“—og. Grog. Can you hear me?”

There’s a voice in Grog’s ears, piercing through the fog, and he makes an effort to shake the cobwebs because Pike definitely sounds scared and she never does.

…Wait. This feels weirdly familiar, like a dream he’s already had.

Time pauses, rewinds. Grog recalls a fight, a fall, a friend – yeah, that definitely happened. His right thigh aches dimly, and exhaustion is weighing his bones. That tracks. But also, he’s alive, which definitely doesn’t.

Plus there’s a wet nose that smells of bear nuzzling the side of his head.

Voices burst out (“Hey furball! Back off, let him breathe!” vs. “Trinket, darling, give him some space”), but as usual there’s only one Grog really pays attention to.

Sure enough, when he works his eyes open, Pike is crouching just in front of him, very pale but smiling, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. Her holy symbol is still glowing faintly from between her clenched fingers and her dark hair is falling out of her crown of braids.

“Hey, buddies,” she whispers. “Welcome back.”

Her voice quivers a little, but the small hand laid on his chest is perfectly steady. Maybe it’s the residual warmth of whatever spell she hit him with, maybe it’s just because he’s surprised and happy to find himself not dead after all, or maybe it’s because he just loves Pike a whole lot and he’s glad to see her – the last vestiges of cold leave him.

“Hi, Pike.” He frowns. “Did I die?”

She chuckles, and lets go of her pendant to wipe her nose on her sleeve.

“No. Well. Maybe just a little,” she says, still with that weird combo of big smile and wobbling voice. “You gave all of us a hell of a scare, you know.”

All of us?

Indeed, now Grog’s eyes focus farther than Pike in the light of a torch planted into the ground, there’s Keyleth, staring at him with wide eyes, shoulders trembling just a little; Vax, a look of naked relief on his face so stark it startles Grog; Vex, one hand gripping Trinket’s fur and the other grasping Grog’s good leg – whether to prop herself up or to physically make sure he’s indeed alive is anyone’s guess; Percy, both fists clenching and unclenching as though of their own accord, breathing much too deeply and carefully to be natural; and Scanlan, sat slumped near Grog, his face almost as white as his shirt was before he took it off. Blood coats both his hands past the wrists and his eyes are almost as shiny as Pike’s.

“Told you,” he says with a weak smile, “dragons and hydras. Not some random thingy in a cave that smells like farts and rotten eggs. Also –”

He holds up the bag of holding and fishes out a sparkling red bottle that he hands out to Grog.

“There you go, big guy. Bottoms up.”

The healing potion must be one of the really good ones. It goes through Grog like a trail of fire, energy fizzing to his fingers and down to his toes. He doesn’t usually need potions to heal, so it’s odd to feel flesh knitting itself up and blood rushing along his veins again. His limbs still feel weird, and he has a feeling he’s going to need some rest before he’s back to full health, but life and strength are flowing through him once more.

Turns out Scanlan was right: it takes more than a thingy to kill Grog Strongjaw.

Vex takes the empty bottle from him and the bag from Scanlan, who barely reacts, and asks, “Better now, darling?”

“Yep, all good,” Grog replies. It’s not really true, and he doesn’t miss a look from Pike that says she’s going to keep an eye on him no matter what, but it feels kinda true, and that’s enough for now. “So what now? I mean, we’re done here, right?”

“I suggest we find a safe place to camp before we head out,” says Percy, looking around as though he expects another thingy to leap out of the shadows. Which wouldn’t surprise Grog overmuch, really. This place sucks.

They all agree, and after Vax suggests they set up camp where they stopped earlier, pretty close from here, most of them leave to do just that.

To Grog’s relief, nobody fusses over him more. He’s not used to people worrying about him outside of Pike and Wilhand. It weirds him out. Vax slaps his arm with a smile and walks away, Trinket padding after him; Keyleth climbs back to her feet and pats his shoulder awkwardly, though her smile is warm and genuine; Percy gives him a nod before following her, his breathing normal again.

And Vex tightens the bag’s drawstrings and puts it in his hands.

“Grog,” she says. “Um. Listen.”

Grog listens.

“I know you can take a hit better than anyone else. It takes a lot to knock you down, like… a lot. And I know today was, well, an anomaly. But I was thinking… You should keep the bag. You know, full time.”

“Okay,” says Grog, who’s waiting to see where she’s going with it before deciding if it’s worth getting angry about. He loathes being coddled. But Vex also essentially said he was a tough motherfucker, so that makes up for it. “Why?”

“Because you’re not just tough. You’re the fastest of all of us, so if anyone needs a potion or something else from the bag in the heat of battle, you can just run and give it to them, right?”

Oh. Yeah. That’s a pretty good reason. Good thing he didn’t get angry.

“As long as you don’t forget to take one yourself when you need it, okay?” Vex adds in a softer tone. “Anyone can need first aid at some point, dear. Even a barbarian built like a brick shithouse.”

“Right.”

She looks at him intently some more, as though there’s a question in there he’s supposed to answer. When it becomes obvious that he’s said all he wanted to say, she rises, winks at him, and leaves him with Pike and Scanlan.

Vex’s winks are something else. More often than not she uses them at other people like she fires her arrows, so being on the receiving end of a nice one for a change is a treat.

“What’s that on your leg?” Pike asks Grog as they all stand up.

Grog is about to reply ‘just some blood’, but then he remembers Scanlan’s shirt is still tied around his thigh and that’s why Scanlan’s holding his leather vest instead of wearing it.

“I forgot,” he says, “I did get first aid. Scanlan made a doohickey, look.”

Pike does look at the doohickey. Then at Scanlan. Then back at the doohickey, Grog, and then Scanlan again.

Scanlan stuffs his hands into his pockets.

“I mean,” he says just a little uncertainly, “I was tapped out of useful spells and I think that’s how you tie a tourniquet – but then again, you know, I’m a bard, if you asked me what rhymes with ‘tourniquet’ that’d be more my speed. Like, I might say ‘turning key’ but good luck fitting that in a song and it doesn’t really match the scans—”

Without warning Pike grabs him into a hug. An actual hug, so sudden Scanlan doesn’t even have time to say anything, and so tight he lets out a little breathless ooof. He goes an interesting shade of red. Although maybe that’s just because he just got crushed against chain mail.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, very quietly but so fiercely Grog has no trouble making out the words. “Just a minute more, and I wouldn’t have… He’d… Thank you.”

Well then. If Grog still had any doubt left that he really would have died down here without his best little buddies… He’s not afraid to die, as such, especially if it’s against something really badass or to protect someone he loves (which is not that many people). But he’s fucking glad he didn’t.

Scanlan looks at Pike (or rather the back of her head, mostly), looks at Grog, and, wonder of wonders, says nothing for once – just holds her back a little awkwardly, his vest dangling from his hand.

It doesn’t last long anyway. Pike lets go of him and steps back quickly, looking a little self-conscious, like she just only noticed he’s naked from the waist up. Chest hair or jewellery probably doesn’t count. And that’s funny, because she’s never like that around Grog, who rarely wears anything except his trousers, belt, and boots. Plus, now, the doohickey, which he manages to loosen but not quite untie; the knot is really tight and the congealed blood isn’t helping. So he shrugs it off for now and picks up both gnomes, setting one on each shoulder. Pike is a little heavier than Scanlan, because of the chain mail, but as usual it’s like carrying a couple of kittens.

There. Just as things should be.

“Hey, Scanlan,” he says, walking towards the others while Pike wipes her eyes and clings to his shoulder a little tighter than she usually does, “sorry your shirt got messed up.”

“It’s okay, buddy. It was for a good cause.”

“You know,” says Pike, “I think a tourniquet works better with a stick. I could teach you.”

“Well, not many sticks underground, but I suppose if needs be I can always use my—”

“Your what, Scanlan?”

“—flute! I was gonna say ‘my flute’! I am not risking the Cube just to make a dick joke, guys, come on.”

“Hey Pike, remember when Wilhand said babies come from birds and tadpoles? Turns out he was wrong.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. They actually come from people havin’ sex. Do you thinks he knows?”

“I… You know, I think you should definitely tell him next time we see him. Sounds important.”

“Pike? This Wilhand, he’s your… great-grandfather, correct?”

“Great-great-grandfather, why?”

“Oh, nothing. Hey Grog, be a pal and pass me my pack, will you, there’s a clean shirt in there. Also, tell me someone picked up my flute?”

Turns out Vax did.

Having friends, Grog reflects before they settle down around a campfire and take a flagon of ale from the bag, is indeed pretty great.

⁂

(uuughhh I'm still meh about the last sentence (it's been kicking my arse for the past two days at least) 😭 I'm waiting to see if/when my beta is available to look this over before I post it on AO3, but I will as soon as I can 💜)

EDIT oh!! I had fun with a 5e monster/NPC stat block builder and homebrewed a thingy :D Let me know if you think it's appropriate for a level 5-ish party! (ngl, I ripped the Deadly Leap feature from the bulette ^^')

What do you think? Total shit or could actually work?

[mothgodofchaos]

Batteries

For the birthday boy. <3 Normally I'd specify what they are, but he's already a demon. So you just get him a little more, demonic. Just him being cute and a little dumb.

Eldritch!Antisepticeye x GN!Reader, TW: none Words: 709

You were called to the house for a potential demonic possession, the homeowners becoming more and more worried as time went on. They kids were starting to act strangely and they were sent to live with their grandparents for a bit. Electronics either stopped working entirely, went missing, or went haywire in the middle of usage. The amount of lightbulbs they’ve gone through as they regularly get blown has become insane, and they can’t afford to keep living like this.

So you shooed them out of their home for a night, promising to have it fixed by morning. A simple diagnosis and exorcism shouldn’t take too long, as it is your job after all. You lay out all of your equipment: spirit box, thermometer, EMF reader, and head back to your truck to grab a spirit board. When you come back, the lights are off on your equipment, further investigation showing that the batteries are missing. Strange.

You grab a new pack of them from your bag, replacing all the batteries in your equipment. But when you turn back, the rest of the pack is gone.

“Mischievous fucker likes to take batteries, huh? Alright.”

You sit in the middle of the living room floor with the lights off, lighting a few candles and placing the spirit board in front of you. Not for a moment do your eyes get taken off your equipment, holding the spirit box to you mouth.

“Who are you? What do you want?”

The spirit board doesn’t move for a moment, before spelling “f o o d”.

“What is your name?”

“a n t i”

“Why are you stealing batteries?”

“h o n g r y”

You honestly can’t tell if it was an intentional misspelling or not, but it does make you chuckle.

“Do you mean anyone any harm?”

The piece slides over to “no”.

“If I promise you more batteries, will you reveal yourself?”

It quickly slides to “goodbye” and you’re left in silence, waiting and looking around. Out of the darkness you see several glowing green eyes, and talons appearing out of the darkness. He moves closer to you, sniffing you with great interest before looking at your EMF reader, which is screaming at you. He picks it up, shaking out the batteries and popping them in his mouth. You manage to snatch it away before he takes a bite out of the main component, but his behavior fascinates you more than irritates you.

“Hey buddy, if you come with me, I’ll get you more batteries. We’re gonna leave this nice family’s home now, okay?”

He looks at you with a cock of his head. Horns protrude from his pale skin, fading into a deep black that mimics the pattern on his limbs. A tail flicks at you, with wirey wings behind his back. You offer your hand to him, which he takes cautiously. He does have to be bribed with more batteries, but you manage to coax him into your truck. When you close the door, he starts to panic, scratching at the door and glitching out, moving around to find you again. You blink at him, met with the gaze of six glowing eyes, sad that you “abandoned” him.

“Buddy, Anti, I was just gonna get in my side. C’mon, back in the truck.”

He crawls over the center console, sitting oddly in the chair before deciding to lay down, looking up at you. His ears perk up at you opening another pack of batteries, happily accepting them as you drop them in his mouth. You don’t know what inspired you to do this, but you move to scratch his chin and he absolutely melts into happy growls.

“Oh you are adorable, sweet boy. You like affection, don’t you?”

He grabs your hand after a while, gently gnawing on it, not even piercing the skin with his bites.

“A little dumb, but we can work on that. We’ll get you a better place to live, buddy. That’s a good boy.”

He moves a bit over the console, resting his head in your lap and demanding scritches on the top of his head. Something tells you that you’ve been claimed by a demon, but he’s cute so, can you really complain?

[yelling-space]

sex hcs

// Might be a lil heavy 4 a first post idk??? thought it be a good indicator of what u can expect from me in relation 2 each charter encase that's sming u want 2 avoid tho,

so enjoy this short summary the Main 4s feelings on/relationship with sex and daans here 2 for some reason

none the left over colours fitted Enki so i made him pink 2 spite him

Cw :(Impyed) child prostitution + s/a

Cahara

-whore by birth,slut by choise

-has a hate-love relationship with sex(regardless position) and kinda treats it like a "get out of jail free" card, rellised from a young age the amount of horrble suitions he can get out of if he opens his mouth a lil wider and swings his hips a little

-can be pear pressured/guilted into agreeing 2 sex + for as mutch as hes into and enjoys sex he feels so gross and unclean and not comfy in his own skin after regadles who its with (he will internaly throw up and try 2 rip his skin of if you call him "exotic")

-will cry if he has totally normal fully consensual sane safe sex w a partner/ his wife

-doesnt understand the religious belifes of immodesty or sodomy esply when those higher up dont tend 2 practice what they preach , OPPOSITE of a prude , open whore.

D'arce

-closeted butch top that didnt realize her desire to fuck pretty men was actually her lesbian soul shining through

-lotta her,,,less practical ,vewis on sex stem from deep rooted homophba + was 2 goal oriented and determined 2 became a knight 2 even think about or consider it before espacping the dugon

-full heartedly believed all women harbour a disgust 4 the male sex organ and that coupes just did not have sex endless it was 2 convive a child , as you can imagine she was in for a surprise when discovering that was not the case.

-horrifically inexperienced and guided by her desire to dominate, and thus becomes known for owning The Scary Strap" that medieval men are afraid of

Enki

-Dead body fucker. That Necromancy spell is NOT going to just go too waist ,

-not all that interested in sex in general and never really saw any reason to engage with it when spell books are literally RIGHT there . saying that he most definitely gets of on having something completely under his control regardless what end the "fucked-fucking" scale he's on

- not really into sex with living people + how he's probably kind of inexperienced due to an isolated upbringing hence the want for control over puppeteering a sexual partner (dead body), or the high he gets off inflicting acts of sadism given how his ideas of intimacy have been twisted from childhood

-100%%%%%%% a fucking freek btw just cuz hes not 2 instered in sex dosnt mean hes not a fucking freek man fucks dead people and probs vry mutch into s/m

Rag

-wife kink. you don't understand how much he loves his wife.

-probs thinks sex is something shared between two lovers and is something meant 2 be full of affection and enjoyed by both party's

-probs see's s/a being viewed as something incredibly disrespectful, cowardly and the abuser deserve of death getting his shit kicked in (this is funny because i like 2 imagen rag starts projecting his dead wife onto cahara when he starts 2 lose it in the dungeon)

-did not know sex work existed or brothels were a thing, got jump scared by it when taking cahra back 2 see his wife with the others , he was vry confused and not rly sure where he was MENT 2 look so spent most the time with his eyes glued to the floor, celling or his friends faces (he respects women even if he's not rly sure what's going on)

Daan

-lil sex adictic freek , dosnt even realy enjoy sex that much,just so used 2 it being apart his life hes not entirely sure what 2 do without it,+allows himself to ast least feel incontrol the situion (for once in his life) cus he knows what the goal is and faster he gets it over with faster he'll be left to his own devices again.

-sex is all he rly knowns and grown up around, as well as one the only things hes ever seen actually be meaningful to anybody,regardless there relationships with there partner. but it feels like its something he owes people/doesnt really enjoy it regardless if he acrly wants it or not.

-dosnt proply understand how relationships work or that there's more 2 them then just sex (or that people could even *want* him for more then sex for that matter)

-sex was allways seen as something transactional or something for control - cant have any of that with fagcat, but can at least indulge in it in a way that makes him feel like he's way 2 finally has some small aspect control his life again.

-Honesty like ¾ his sex life is just him being abused by Pocketcat

[totaldrama-showdowns]

Submissions for Most Transgender that didn’t make it into the bracket!

Duncan (2)

Idfk transmasc Duncan who also happens to be misogynistic is hilarious to me and makes him such a better character

Look,

Sammy (2)

How to make poorly-developed characters infinitely more interesting: transgenders them. That is a nonbinary egg

Demi-girl. fuck it, gives her cool gender juice

Crimson (2)

transmasc crimson

She's got that transfem swag. to me

DJ (2)

nomebinary. he likes lemonade

dj is so transgender in all ways but ive recently become rather fond of transfem dj. people keep telling her to man up and she's like huh? :(

Mal (2)

agender. He's been he/it

Yeah I know I just submitted svetlana but mal is also trans...

Wayne (2)

Wayne

Raj (2)

gay AND trans because i said so

Geoff (2)

He is canonically dickless. (That one moment in X-Treme Torture where they did not censor between his legs despite him lacking pants). Also he’s totally the type to display his top surgery scars proudly.

katie and sadie (2)

changing their names to be similar to eachother. its cute.

cody (2)

t4t coderra please please please

he's got toy cringe

Chase (2)

ripper do you think I'm transgender

he's rep for trans guys who are assholes!!!

Justin (2)

nobody will get it but me but trans girl justin please...

Intern Girl / That one intern that wayne helped (2)

Mike (2)

Tyler (2)

T4T LYLER SEE MY VISION..... he could go any way for me i love transmasc tylers i love transfem tylers....... i love you tyler

Jen (2)

You know Bulletproof heart... yeah Johnny/Jenny

she just gives transbian

Staci (2)

She's got that "just started transitioning" haircut

actually her great great great great great great grandparent invented gender. mhm. yah.

Junior (2)

i like to think the reason dwayne sr is all "man men manly men" is because he's trying to bond with his recently out son and supporting him in his transition. he's just being weird about it

Sam

She’s just an egg!!

Emma (2023)

Wanna know why we got another Emma after ridonculous race? It’s because TD Emma named herself after RR Emma during her transition

millie

nonbiney swaggr

transfem ennui

Chris McLean

Trans rights, sure, but Chris supports trans wrongs

scarlett

the mtf creature ever

all of them

none of these fuckers are cis

Dakota

both shawn and dave together

maybe its just all the fanart but they really bring out each others transmascness

Kitty

she is just so non-binary to me

Axel

Ripaxel can also be yaoi

Eva

Blaieneley (is that how u spell it??)

divorced trans swag

Me

Nichelle

Courtney

i can see it

Gwen's face

Gwen is trans therefore the boat "Gwen's face" is also trans. In this essay I will

Beardo

he has fucking voice dysphopria

Dave

failcore

Leonard

cant grow his own fucking wizard beard

rodney

stupid lesbian

topher

he transitioned just to rival chris

Caleb

i need to give him a redeeming feature

Emma tdr

transfem swag

brody

Kelly

milf and also trans. the whole package

Mary

that is just a trans woman in stem

tammy

she'z cute

[memeapple2]

Starters of memes that live rent free in my head part 3 beacuse fuck it!

"I just can't talk to a hetty right now."

"Bold of you to assume the most important person in my life is a woman. God bless you Danny Devito!"

"Well god danm, that's one diagonal twix!!"

"DID YOU JUST EAT MY FOREVER WEED BROWNIE!?"

"It don't matter none of this matters."

"LORDY LORDY LOOK WHO'S TURNING 4040!!"

"It is my job to defeat the darkness! This is another form of the darkness! Also what's a penis?"

"Wanna watch baaaaaaaambi?"

"I'M GONNA BE THE PRITTEST GIRL AT THE PAAAAAAARTY!!!"

"They can't troll me beacuse I have no ears! They can't troll me if I can't hear them!"

"What!? I have no fucking ears!!"

"They can't troll you if they're dead!"

"I don't think I can Miku Miku ooeeoo any longer."

"It's never too late not to be an asshole!!"

"Naaaaaaah, the eternal worm came back for Connecticut!"

"I hope someone dies and goes to hell today!!!"

"I storm there, I like lower prices!"

"YOU'S A REAL MOTHER FUCKER YA KNOW THAT!?"

"YOU'VE ROLLED THE WORST JOINT EVER NOW YOU'VE GOTTA LEAVE!"

"I've rolled the worst joint ever now I've gotta leave."

"GET IN THE SOUP JACKASS!"

"Oh you poor feeble minded gay! I've evolved past Fortnite!!"

"Just fill the hole, hole filler!!"

"ARE YOU STUPID? GET OUT OF HERE! SHUT UP!! I HATE YOU! YOU ARE A LIAR! FUCK OFF!! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! PERVERT!!"

"I DON'T HAVE AAAAANY MONEY!!"

"You are cute! Kiss me! Bestie!!!"

"WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?"

"Grill me a cheese."

"I'M NOT GRILLING YOU A CHEESE!!"

"YOU DARE COMPARE MY TIDDIES TO TORPEDOES!!"

"You've seen it now you can't unsee it!"

"Life is short but also unbearably long!"

"ALRIGHT I CHANGE MY MIND YOU CAN HAVE THE AMULET!!"

"No, now I don't want it anymore."

"LAYED MY LAST EGG? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"There is nothing chicken about this situation!"

"Once Mr. Potato sausage enters your life he never truly leaves."

"That's the skittles water."

"YOUR MOM, YOUR MOM, YOUR MOM, MOM!!"

"YOU'RE IN MY DOMAINE NOW! WHERE EVERY LANDMARK IS PROJECTED BY A GREEN SCREEN! NOTHING IS REAL!!"

"No, shut up! It's still relevant AND YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS!!"

"YOU FUCKERS DREW PICTURES OF ME WITH MY PEINS OUT SO I'M ERASING THE INTERNET!!"

"I won't hurt you? Who says that? POTENTIAL CREEPERS, THAT’S WHO!!"

"I need complete silence for this spell, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHJJNNNNBGHNCFJ!!"

"THAT WILL BE YOUR BAAAAAALLLLS!!"

"I was bein a bee, it's what I do!"

"Oh shit, I guess I'm just a freak then."

"NOW WE'RE GETTING FUCKED BY GOD!"

"ZOOPERS!"

[transquad]

Illithid Tav — romance epilogues

EDIT: This has only partially been updated with the Patch 5 party stuff and has nothing from any patch after that, I'll get around to it ... Someday

I am obsessed with the concept of a protagonist sacrificing their humanity for the greater good. That's why the free Orpheus + illithid player ending made me so fucking happy, up until Astarion decided to dump my ass in the last five seconds of the game, because he can't handle a few tentacles or whatever. It made me realize that as much as I like him, I really don't like his romance. It's just so much giving and so little receiving. I think my character deserves someone who can actually offer him a little love and support and reassurance every once in a while. Including (especially!) after he transforms into a squid man.

So I wanted to go into my second playthrough knowing which of these sluts would still love me if I was a worm.

Unfortunately I have not been able to actually find many variants of these scenes on Youtube. But from what I could find, this is how the epilogue scenes with romanced companions play out if the player character becomes a mind flayer:

• Astarion dumps you. Good Astarion says he is open to the idea of getting back together someday but he needs a break to process things. (Exactly what's going on in his head here is anyone's guess.) Evil Astarion thinks you're icky now and only wants you as a powerful ally.

PATCH 5 EDIT: Despite having six months to come to his senses, at the party Good Astarion seems pretty disinterested in getting back together with Tavflayer, something I'm never going to forgive him for.

• (Crownless) Gale fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. He asks you to marry him. He even says he will find a caterer who does brains for your wedding. It's incredibly sweet.

• Halsin fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. You are invited to his anprim commune with the caveat that he will need to introduce you to his followers carefully, for both your safety and their mental health.

• (Good) Shadowheart fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. She wants to take some time to go on a quest to find herself / spend time with her parents, but you're welcome to go with her in disguise.

• Wyll certainly acts like he accepts you, but he basically makes you his secret attic wife in the name of protecting you, which is pretty fucked up, dude. Halsin & Shadowheart are also very concerned about your safety and have the same impulse to hide you away, but it's easy enough to convince them that you'll be fine. Not Wyll, apparently. (What the hell, man?)

EDIT: If you don't get this dialogue because one or both of you go to Avernus with Karlach, then he is normal about everything at the party.

• I don't think Karlach gets a normal epilogue scene if she isn't a mind flayer. No clue what changes in the dialogue that she does have if you're the mind flayer.

• I don't think Lae'zel gets a normal epilogue scene if she returns to the Astral plane, which I believe she always does if you're a mind flayer. Yeah, she dumps you even after you sacrifice yourself for Orpheus. Sad! However. I saw someone say in a Youtube comment that if you are (were) also githyanki then you can go with her, even if you're a mind flayer now. So if that's accurate, I guess that's the exception?

• EDIT: Good news! Minthara is also a squid fucker.

Glaringly, none of these scenes acknowledge that Disguise Self is a spell that exists, and it's unclear how different they would be if they did.

If you know something I don't know, especially if you have proof in screenshots or videos, please let me know so I can update these notes. I have become very invested in finding out which of these clowns are squid fuckers.

[iaus]

DIRECTOR’s CUT PT 2: ⭐ for good measure. Or you can talk abt the use of devil’s honey in the last ch? The one before the final lol. Sorry I’m not picking something more specific. Feel free to go off from the baseline. Or do the star and devil’s honey. Anyway. Congrats on finishing! It was so good!

YESSSS i can.

i'm crying i was on call when i got some comments for chapter 14 and i was (to my very indulgent cishet friend who has to hear me go on about yaoi chronicles) like. my unreliable narrator he was too unreliable......

and he just laughed because he's a prick but.

so. i had wanted to do something with the devil's honey/baklava for a while and was kind of just spinning ideas on how to get it done. but then i looked at the chapters with briar (who i was originally not even going to name, but typing the tabaxi over and over pissed me OFF) and was like.

the way jace goes about this is not going to work. and i don't think HE would think it's going to work.

so i looked at my darling unreliable narrator and was like. well. we have an in-canon way for him to easily lie to himself. and he has a situationship that would DEFINITELY meal prep and freeze extra food. even his devil's honey baklava.

while writing with the devil's honey stuff i actually pulled up modify memory and based it on that. which i'm gonna put here since. modify memory became such a huge thing for jace anyway (haha. fucker.)

You attempt to reshape another creature’s memories. One creature that you can see must make a Wisdom saving throw. If you are fighting the creature, it has advantage on the saving throw. On a failed save, the target becomes charmed by you for the duration. The cha⁠rmed target is incapacitated and unaware of its surroundings, though it can still hear you. If it takes any damage or is targeted by another spell, this spell ends, and none of the target’s memories are modified. While this charm lasts, you can affect the target’s memory of an event that it experienced within the last 24 hours and that lasted no more than 10 minutes. You can permanently eliminate all memory of the event, allow the target to recall the event with perfect clarity and exacting detail, change its memory of the details of the event, or create a memory of some other event. You must speak to the target to describe how its memories are affected, and it must be able to understand your language for the modified memories to take root. Its mind fills in any gaps in the details of your description. If the spell ends before you have finished describing the modified memories, the creature’s memory isn’t altered. Otherwise, the modified memories take hold when the spell ends. At Higher Levels. If you cast this spell using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, you can alter the target’s memories of an event that took place up to 7 days ago (6th level), 30 days ago (7th level), 1 year ago (8th level), or any time in the creature’s past (9th level).

so i basically looked at this, decided that devil's honey would likely be like a temporary 9th level cast of modify memory (i mean. if you're fooling a GOD in PRAYER... i would hope its 9th level equivalent). and i mentioned jace's forging kit and forgery of a "certificate" because in my estimations epilogue jace is so commitmentphobic that it would take so much to convince him he actually married porter.

now let's get into a few different lines.

i did play fast and loose with a lot of rules-as-written in this fic but i DID want to base it on some mechanics... but since we don't have a lot of info on devil's honey other than 1) it's used in prayer 2) porter had probably made baklava of it i went a little wild.

so jace spends his time in chapter 12 forging stuff we have this line:

It takes a few tries to get the penmanship right—to duplicate the signature he’s staring at on his crystal. Porter’s signature was easier to forge.

where jace is forging porter's signature on the marriage certificate. then...

He eyes the certificate again, then the baklava he found digging through Porter’s freezer that’s thawing on the counter. He’d briefly entertained the thought of giving himself a different first name on the certificate, but he already has his doubts about the lie inscribed on certificate.

so, jace is not disclosing to the reader what he's doing. but it involves lying, he also is not sure if HE'LL believe it. because at this point in time, even though he's been having his face shoved in it, he does not believe he is really anything more than a tool for porter.

he then, of course, finds more proof that no. he did have some sort of care for you and has to go throw up about it. (me too man.)

then we learn in chapter 13 that jace has never taken porter's "personal supply" of baklava while cutting to him acting like a pissed off cat when porter's praying. so without outright saying it he is laying it on about the lie. we just don't know what fucking lie he's talking about yet.

and then we cut into chapter 14. i don't think i succeeded, but i tried to make it a little disjointed? but at the same time it had to be believable to jace. like. of course he finally agreed to marrying porter mid blowjob. of course porter had asked repeatedly (this is the filling in the memory part of modify memory).

but then there are a few... oddities (which do purposefully match up with jace's weird brain-fog haze that he's been experiencing this entire story) but:

The ceremony itself is a blur in his memory—short, sweet, just the two of them and their state provided witness. He can’t even remember what the government chapel looked like—can’t remember what their vows had been.

and then

Strange to think that he was happy—he doesn’t remember being happy after the shatterstar.

even under the effects of devil's honey/baklava he still has trouble with some of these memories.

and...

Jace thumbs at the marriage certificate, the license. It’s like new.

maybe like... it was made yesterday.... this is also a little nod to the fact that epilogue jace is quite a hand at forging (he's forged new schedules that weren't approved by parents or teachers y'know!)

and then we get our nail in the coffin:

He takes another bite of baklava—the thick honey sweet of it almost unbearable on his tongue—and another sip of black coffee before he grabs his keys.

he's eating baklava, porter's personal supply, before he goes to collect porter from the morgue. he is COMMITTING to.... playing house. because he's taking a page from what he's learned: he doesn't get a second shot at this so he has to be believable. he'll construct new memories for himself to be able to claim porter is his. (he had a line earlier back where he was like. we didn't do HR papers. i'm literally just his coworker.)

but then of course we see that the medical examiner's office is really not on the ball and he did all this extra shit for nothing really.

BUT UH. TL;DR jace used devil's honey for the sole purpose of tricking himself into thinking he and porter were married so he could steal his corpse. he did not have to do all of that be we love him anyway.

[tokillamockingbird427]

So I got bored at 2 in the morning and decided that I must know what each of the ghosts names mean (at least the ones who's names we know)

And it's safe to say that Keegan is winning this competition

Ajax is a good runner-up

Third place belongs to everyone's favorite child, Logan

All in all, these three have very unique name meanings, and the only one I was sort of expecting was Ajax.

David's honestly surprised me, I was expecting something like 'strength' or ' youngest son' or 'giant killer' based on the Christian mythos, but instead, I got the strongest image of Elias being handed his new born son and only able to think of how much he loves his baby

Gabriel, I already knew was a religious name, so I'm not surprised by this

Elias, same sort of deal.

Torch. There are a lot of Christian names in this house tonight, but for a change, this one's Greek!

And then there's Merrick

Once again, I was expecting 'strength' or 'wisdom' or 'disciple' or 'skeptical' or 'Fisherman' for the same reasons as above. This was simultaneously disappointing and surprising

Grims is definitely the most disappointing, first of all no one seams to actually spell it the way his is(Riddian), which is either an oversight by the devs or an English bastardization of an Irish/Welsh name (the sources I looked at seemed to disagree with where it comes from and none of them lists both, which I found odd) I snapped a picture of the spelling variation the was pronounced the same just so I could include a picture, pretty upset that the meaning is unknown, I'm going to search around some more in the morning to see if I can find it.

I wish we knew what Kick and Neptunes names are, and hopefully, one day, we will learn that information. I could have included the names I headcanon they have, Kaleb and Noah respectively, but I wanted to stick to Canon, if I do find Grims name meaning I might tack them on there.

This was a fun little brain exercise, but it's kept me up till 3:43, I got to get to bed, good night, and have fun with this.

One of Keegan's parents is ginger, apparently. Or maybe grandparent.

BOTH of Ajax's name's are sick as fuck btw because Ajax was that one legendary fucker who held a bridge against an army. Weave that into Sand Viper somehow.

SCOTLAND FOREVEAAAAAAAA

Elias sees David and goes "Fuck I love this thing so much." immediately opens google "Baby names that mean "Oh my god I love you so much"" and just copied the top result onto the birth certificate.

Hey fun fact; Gabriel has my favorite of all the names. Entirely because the cool ass archangel Gabriel.

Elias ofc gets a mediocre ass name.

Chris, always a follower it seems.

MERRICK HAS A TWIN?!!? GET OUT OF THE WAY MICH!!!! THOM PT 2 IS IN TOWN!!!

FUCK Riddian you're like one of those kids named "Brihtineigh" or sm. (Why would Actavision or whoever mess up the original spelling like that) Also I google and it seems like Poe IS the father (Of Keegan) because it means "Red" or "Crimson" or similar and it's WELSH!