#none of which can be found in the bible

[jadeshifting]

❦ … LOCKBOX … OF … (WILDEST) … DREAMS

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

if u want the KEY, here it is —> 🗝₊˚⊹♡

.　　. 　 ˚　. ABOUT ME

— i’m JADE, a very typical and normal shifter with too many DRs, too many interests, and too many soulmates (none in this reality, ew.)

— i love books and movies and anything I can devour and integrate into my identity, which I do with all of them. born in ‘05, i’m 19, and pinterest, tumblr and letterboxd haaaate to see me coming. I write— sometimes a whole bunch of nothing, sometimes things I’m convinced belong in the bible, but I still do it like my fingers will fall off at anytime

.　　. 　 ˚　. ( pssst, my pinterest )

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　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶

i want a yellow diamond engagement ring .. a BIG one. i want a country house with a porch. i want a velvetine bunny rabbit with floppy ears. i want a stone house next to the sea. i want the whole sea.

and I can HAVE it, and so can you. isn’t shifting fun babes ౨ৎ

.　　. 　 ˚　. SHIFTING JOURNEY

it’s likely nothing you haven’t heard before. I found out about shifting when everyone else did (Hogwarts, which I’m sure you can tell stuck to me like tar) and lived with only misinformation for sustenance on shiftok for a loooong time (rip </3) until I had the sense to use amino, some reddit, and finally ended up on shiftblr

.　　. 　 ˚　. MI BLOG

i talk about all sorts of things on here !! like a one-stop shop for shifting & scripting—you may notice that i love to focus on scripting, though. in my ( humble ) ( NOT ) opinion, our community is oversaturated with advice that more often than not overcomplicates the very natural, automatic process that is shifting. rather that putting the simple process of shifting under a microscope, i find it much more fun to explore everything you can do with it. i take emoji anons and i’m happy to chat about pretty much anything !! you can refer to my inbox guidelines below or my “asks <3” tag for more specific examples of the kinds of questions i take

— inbox guidelines ( coming soon, PATIENCE )

— anons list

❦ … ALTERNATIVE … REALITIES

(not DESIRED, because I don’t desire things I already have or places I already go to)

.　　. 　 ˚　. HOGWARTS REALITY … school in the echoing, ever shifting stone walls of Hogwarts, excelling at forms of magic that are unknown to the rest of the world. holing up in dorms, lanterns’ glow illuminating ink-smudged fingers and invented incantations. returning to the manor in the summertime, when the fun really stars, when we twirl absurdly in silken gowns at gala after gala, kiss people our families wouldn’t approve of, take our liberties in between swaths of velvet and drenched in silvery champagne. in the end, though, it all comes down to one thing: power. the opulence, our loyalties, our endless magic. it all serves that one thing

— hogwarts masterlist

— shiftmas masterlist ( 4 hogwarts )

.　　. 　 ˚　. 2006 MYSPACE HOTTIE REALITY … thrust into fame from both my booming myspace blog and a face people can’t seem to do anything but affix their eyes on, my serious acting career does nothing to stop the diabolical antics i put on with my hot friends and my absolutely smoking boyfriend—in the public eye, sure, but mostly in the grainy hot pink sanctuary of my infamous myspace account. they can’t take their eyes off of me

— jare & i keep making headlines ( hot )

.　　. 　 ˚　. THE WALKING DEAD REALITY …

— intro

— 5 senses ( waking up there. )

— things i’m looking forward to

— what’s in my (apocalyptic survival) bag

— walking dead radio

— my DR self moodboard

— trapped with Negan

.　　. 　 ˚　. SUPERNATURAL REALITY

— intro

— hunter log 001

— lookbook

— things i’m looking forward to

— my life ( told through tarot )

— me as a perfume

— why would the winchesters let you join them? ( script inspiration )

— blueberry & sugar lemon perfume

.　　. 　 ˚　. EVER AFTER HIGH REALITY

— a guide to classes at ever after high

— lore blurb

— shoutout to my original s/o (nostalgia, apple ml)

— fairytale parent ideas

.　　. 　 ˚　. SMALLVILLE REALITY

— my dr basics ( pre-intro )

— my dr self moodboard ( Jade Apple LaRue )

.　　. 　 ˚　. NYC STAR REALITY

— musings ( things i’m looking forward to )

— yearning 4 my boyfriend when he’s away

.　　. 　 ˚　. BTS REALITY

— trendsetting

— the 4 seasons

.　　. 　 ˚　. JURASSIC WORLD REALITY

— my DR self moodboard

— a day in my life on Jurassic World

.　　. 　 ˚　. OUTER BANKS REALITY

— my DR self moodboard

— what’s in my bag?

— 5 senses ( waking up there. )

.　　. 　 ˚　. MUCH ADO ABOUT LOVE LETTERS REALITY

— DR blurb

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　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶

❦ … NAVIGATION

.　　. 　 ˚　. asks are always open and I luvvvv them, i’d be totally happy to write scenarios, blurbs, give shifting motivation or scripting ideas, or really anything else. don’t be shy & feel free to send whatever you want :-)

MUSINGS ( SOMEONE STOP HER. )

𓆩♡𓆪 — the spectral glamour girl

𓆩♡𓆪 — don’t feel guilty for your main character syndrome

𓆩♡𓆪 — there are plenty of fates worse than yours

𓆩♡𓆪 — traveling the multiverse vs traveling the world

𓆩♡𓆪 — why do we use face claims? ( on self expression vs. self acceptance )

𓆩♡𓆪 — “this is the best method” and why that doesn’t serve your shifting journey

SCRIPTING IDEAS

𓆩♡𓆪 — waiting room ideas

𓆩♡𓆪 — hogwarts elective classes to script

𓆩♡𓆪 — places to script (hogsmeade)

𓆩♡𓆪 — scripting your family ( i swear it can work even if they’re not dead )

𓆩♡𓆪 — enriching your life ( adding depth to the mundane in your DR )

𓆩♡𓆪 — the art of moodboarding ( & using it to script )

𓆩♡𓆪 — uniquely characterizing yourself ( small, important details )

𓆩♡𓆪 — luck ( aka the secret weapon to surviving the apocalypse without getting rid of the plot )

𓆩♡𓆪 — 100 scripting ideas . road trip edition

𓆩♡𓆪 — so, you wanna shift to the hunger games? ( no judgement, just ideas )

𓆩♡𓆪 — supernatural scenarios ( romance w/ Dean vers. )

𓆩♡𓆪 — grungy / haunting fem. faceclaims

ITTY BITTY SHIFTING CONTENTS

𓆩♡𓆪 — my favorite shifting experience

𓆩♡𓆪 — my “method”

𓆩♡𓆪 — struggling to escape an escapist mindset

𓆩♡𓆪 — drift & shift ( a teensy nighttime routine for the girlies that have a hard time chilling out )

𓆩♡𓆪 — some of my niche (?) DRs

𓆩♡𓆪 — what happens to my CR body when i shift?

𓆩♡𓆪 — combinations : my CR vs. my DR ( one drink, one eat )

𓆩♡𓆪 — would my DR selves get along if they were separate people? hmm

𓆩♡𓆪 — positive affirmations ( vers. holiday )

𓆩♡𓆪 — my girly engagement ring in the multiverse

FRUIT ASK GAME 🍒

— 🍒 the ask game

— 🍎 what i’m best at in my DRs

— 🥑 the most comforting part of my day in my DRs

— 🍅 secrets i’m keeping in my DRs

SLYTHERIN HEADCANONS

pansy parkinson headcanons

theodore nott headcanons

blaise zabini headcanons

blaise zabini headcanons no.2

lorenzo berkshire headcanons

draco malfoy headcanons

[bamgyw]

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ c.bg; six nights ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

summary: six nights of emo boy gyu sneaking into your room without your daddy knowing. aberrational catholic guilt ridden catcher in the rye wannabe porn document. afab reader x softdom!beomgyu. warnings: everything, unfortunately. minors dni. heavy smut ahead. lots of pretentious writing, too. catholic guilt and imagery. abusive behaviour, parental neglect. drug use. violence. everyone is sad. i’ll keep on updating part-specific tags. index: prologue: the house of god, first night, second night, third night, fourth night, fifth night, sixth night, dawn of the seventh.

prologue: the house of god

when daddy wanted to hide something from you, he would turn to his beloved bible. and ever since you turned fourteen, he had been holding on to a passage that he would repeat to you every night before going to sleep: 

"let no one say when tempted, "i am being tempted by god," for god tempts no one. but each person is tempted when lured by his own desire. then desire gives birth to sin, and sin brings forth death."

that is the only sex talk your daddy ever gave you. it was more of a sex mantra than a talk, or a warning, or even a prohibition. just a rule of nature that he wanted you to have engraved in your mind: desire is sin, and sin is death.

when daddy didn't want you to do something, he'd blame the rule on god. and there's little you could say against that. 

as you grew up, you realised that god might not be real, but daddy most certainly was. a punitive, disciplinary god. and one feels much more compelled to obey divine rule when god lives under your roof. when you can touch him, and he can touch you.

when god lives in your house and his wrath can tear your flesh apart not in hell, not in heaven, but in this life; you become more cautious than the most devoted of christians. so even when everyone in your grade started drinking, dating, having sex; you had it very clear that the priority was to protect yourself. not from the dangers of drinking, dating, or sex; but from daddy, that is to say, from god.

none of your friends from school understood it, that the fear of god was not irrational. you had scars and bruises that god had given you which you could perfectly show them. but then daddy would get in trouble. besides, he wouldn't like you showing your body around. 

none of them could ever understand what living with god was like, so they were the kind of people who would ask that stupid question; if god loves us, why does he hurt us? 

the first person to understand god was a boy called choi soobin. 

daddy had remarried choi soobin’s mom the year before you started college. she was a beautiful woman, lively and hopeful to start a second life after becoming a widow. it must be thrilling to get a chance at a second life when your first one has gone wrong. soobin’s mom could have been very happy in another universe. you felt sorry that she had stepped into daddy‘s trap. 

you had always wondered how daddy had managed to get a woman like her. bright, cultured and affectionate. but then you figured that maybe, as he was god, he didn't necessarily need to be yahweh, or elohim. he could also be zeus and disguise himself as a swan to kidnap and rape leda. 

you found out later that soobin‘s mom had never fully recovered from the passing of her first husband, and she often suffered from major depressive episodes. daddy saw that void in her, and her urgency to fill it. he forced himself into the hollowness of the void, and obstructed her veins, bones, and heart with the word of god.

soon enough, soobin’s mom had no limb or internal organ she controlled herself. she had once had colours, you remembered; rosy cheeks, a hazel head of hair, lips tinted with vibrant red. but daddy had turned her grey. 

soobin’s mom had been kind enough to see the good sides of daddy, you had liked her for that. but you regretted that she hadn't learned to hide her colors so that daddy couldn't steal them away, like you did. 

she became a shadow of herself, an almost non-verbal phantom trapped between the real world –that is, the confines of daddy's house– and the world of hopeful prayers and the salvation of soul.

the boy called choi soobin would never forgive daddy for that. but it was alright. you understood. in a sense, he had killed his mom. you had to love daddy because he had created you, but you didn't think choi soobin was obliged to. 

people said choi soobin had changed, too. that he used to be a gentle kid, polite and sweet, but he had turned hostile. that, like most teens, he had become self-absorbed and belligerent without a cause or that he had gotten those adolescent mood changes so late in his life because he was an attention seeker. people say things like that when they don't understand what living with god is like.

you were the only one who didn't believe daddy when he said that soobin had a demon inside. you knew better than that, you knew that daddy saw demons everywhere. but soobin’s own mom believed it. when daddy tried to exorcise the demon away from soobin with fist and blood, she looked away.

all that soobin had wanted by acting up against daddy was to save his mom. to bring her back from the dead. but after that betrayal, he stopped trying. 

soobin had never been violent towards you, though. not once. not even mean. you were the only one who understood him, the only one who told him he wasn't evil. you knew that god's tyrannical rule could break a person, fill them with hate. and so soobin and you became close, often talking against god. every whispered defamation, every blasphemy, the danger of it felt so exciting. not because of the mischievous sin, or because of the disobedience, but because you felt like you could speak your mind at last.

your first kiss was soobin. you felt loved when it happened, something you realised you weren't used to. the feeling bloomed throughout the following week as you hid from god's watchful eye to be together.

soobin told you a hundred times that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, kissing all over your face, clasping you as close to him as he humanly could. he would sneak his hand under your skirt and whisper, "don't think about him right now. it's just you and me." and though his touch never went very far in the magnitude scale of sin and punishment, it was enough to breathe a new life into you.

you sensed that a big part of why soobin wanted you so bad was because he got turned on at the idea of defying daddy, and groping his holy daughter was the greatest offence he could commit. but that was alright. you felt the same way. and you hoped that that hate-induced lust would turn into love, in time. you could then be happier, even in the house of god. 

or you could have been happier. because god is omnipresent. and he would soon act to see you separated. the blossoming flower was brutally ripped from the soil.

when daddy found out, he locked himself into the master bedroom with soobin one morning and didn't let him go until the sun began to hide. soobin left that room broken and dead in life, just like his mom, but he didn't have one single bruise. maybe daddy really was god, after all.

soobin never talked to you again. spoken, yes, but it was hollow. you never felt loved again. you learned a lesson that day: your pleasure brings pain to everyone around. the mantra became true. desire is sin, and sin is death.

so if there was any need left in your body to touch, to kiss, to lick, to possess or be possessed; you confined it to the darkest pit of your ribcage, way past your heart, never to be accessed again. 

until choi beomgyu came around.

he was the second person to understand god. but he had brought his lesson learned from home. he knew god’s ways even before he met daddy. he had a god of his own. you called yours daddy, he called his ‘that narcissistic sadist’. but strangely enough, you felt like they meant the same thing. 

choi beomgyu was sort of soobin's friend, if you could even call it that. they never labeled each other as such, never sought out each other's company for the sake of friendship. they just wanted to live through their loneliness while sitting in the same room.

beomgyu’s dad was a dealer. he made a living out of ruining people's lives, as beomgyu saw it. growing up, he had promised himself that he would never be like that, the kind of person who doesn't care about poisoning someone's body if that meant keeping the cash flowing. but as he grew up, he learned that it wasn't all black or white. that all of those fools kept showing at his father’s doorstep, like they had no other choice. like they enjoyed hurting themselves. 

beomgyu, like soobin, had become hateful. one of the things that bothered him the most was the "why me?" question. how unlucky he could have been to be born of such a father. but then again, he could run away. he could sort his shit out, get a job, never see his father again. but he kept going back. like he had no choice. like he, too, enjoyed hurting himself.

his dad barely knew he existed, and if beomgyu ever tried to make himself heard, he would silence him in cold blood. so any semblance of love or validation beomgyu could aspire to, he sought out with mathematically strategised plans. he craved the drug of attention and knew exactly where to get it.

he'd linger around fancy schools and church events, scoping out a certain type of girl. there was always a few of them going through a rebellious phase, desperate to go out with a bad boy and piss off their high-official dad. 

it didn't take much effort for him to get what he wanted. he was handsome enough to make it easy, and even though he was a spiteful nihilist, he could be charming on command. just a smirk, a tousle of the hair, and some cheesy lines like, "i'm messed up, but with you, i feel like maybe i could be better," or "you're too beautiful for a screw-up like me." and he would have them wrapped around his finger. 

he would bring them over to his place and fuck them rough on his drug-money-bought mattress. if there was shouting, or a gunshot coming from another part of the house, he'd fuck into them harder, muffling their fear with a rough kiss, using their panic to fuel his own twisted thrill. you fucking scared? i've gone through this crap every day since i was a kid. 

if he could crack the shell of a privileged princess, dragging someone along with him down to his mud, his pain would slightly numb out.

for just a little, but never enough.

that pattern of behavior didn't lead to happiness. not even to satisfaction. it was a vindictive way of muffling his pain with the aching moans of someone who had it easier. but in reality, it only pierced what was left of his soul, making him even more hollow. it was soobin who made him realize that.

until that day, beomgyu saw soobin as almost a kid—pitifully weak and too sheltered. but when he told him about his exploits of going after posh girls, soobin didn't applaud in shared bitterness as he often did.

beomgyu explained to him how hard he got seeing the fear in their eyes as they realised that the life he led, that freedom of the rebel, wasn't as cute and bohemian as they had romanticised.

soobin responded curtly. "and then what? you cum, the spell wears off and you stare at the ceiling in silence, thinking of how miserable you are." he said. "and then you feel guilty for being a piece of shit and using that girl as a blow-up doll. and because of that you feel even worse about yourself, which means becoming more hateful and ruining more people. its not a you thing, you're not that special. that loop has been said and done. probably how your dad feels after beating on you."

beomgyu was taken aback. he didn’t even find it in himself to get offended. he remained pensive for a while before saying, "hyung. do you think i'm a bad person?"

soobin replied; "i think you can choose not to be."

and beomgyu took the advice. he put an end to the hunter-gathering of rich girls. he respected soobin from then on, too. soobin had therefore been a good influence, one could say. or at least an influence beomgyu was willing to accept. he started hanging around your house more, to the point of almost never leaving.

you learned about him as if he were a mythological figure—someone everyone talked about but whose existence you couldn't confirm. as a friend of soobin, beomgyu was bound from the start by an unspoken rule to maintain the least possible contact with you.

beomgyu was made aware of that rule very early on. what he didn't know, because he had been misled, was your age. that's why he didn't think much of it at first; he thought you were a kid. so, whatever—he couldn't talk to soobin’s annoying little stepsister. big deal. he didn't care about kids anyway.

this, combined with the prison-like structure of daily life in that house—minimal time in common areas and endless hours rotting in your own cell—fulfilled daddy's command to keep your life and soobin's, and therefore boemgyu’s, completely separate.

but even though you hadn't seen choi beomgyu in person, you had been able to construct a fairly accurate forensic portrait of him, pieced together from your father's warnings about people like him.

about the piercings, daddy believed that the body is holy, and anyone capable of mutilating within sin. about the music they played when locked up for whole afternoons in soobin’s room, he believed that god is serene, and disturbing that peace is a sign of the devil. he considered long hair on a man an abomination, and much like the eccentric clothes, a mark of a sodomite.

daddy didn't approve of him, and saw him as no more than a threat to the sanctity of his home. but beomgyu was quick to remedy the situation.

beomgyu was most acquainted to the ways of gods. he knew they were capricious, proud and pathologically narcissistic. so he made sure daddy could see he was a troubled young man and played the role of the lamb seeking guidance. he convinced daddy that he could abduct him, like he had done with soobin and his mother.

when soobin recounted the scene to you, his voice had sounded more hopeful, more full of admiration than you had ever heard. "he went to your dad and talked to him as if he was the buddha. said that he was lost and needed someone to guide him on the right path." soobin said. "he had some quotes from the prodigal son parabole learned, and he just delivered so naturally. not a trace of shame because when he lied to his face like that. it was like watching a play. your dad bought everything."

from then on, beomgyu became an unsung hero in your eyes. the boy who had outmanipulated daddy into having it his way. the boy who had defeated god.

around halloween that year, beomgyu and his dad had a terminal fight. it ended on a threat so destructive that beomgyu thought it was for the better if he stayed away from his father's place for a couple days. maybe a week. soobin, knower of the impotence and humiliation of having to sleep under the roof of the one who lacerated you and torn you to pieces, offered him shelter.

daddy's eyes lit up with greed. he saw the definitive chance to welcome a prodigal son into the fold. for beomgyu it was almost a joke. he was amused at how fast daddy allowed him in. so clueless and hasty, like one of the girls he used to charm into his bed.

in truth, beomgyu wasn't even to blame when he inevitably bumped into you. it had been daddy's mistake, he had let him in himself. you thought maybe that made daddy more human, somehow. that he forgot to close the back door to the prison and the devil strolled in.

but it wasn't really a matter of having let his guard down. daddy was still as stern, still as disciplinary, still as paranoid as he had always been. choi beomgyu was just much smarter than daddy.

he was a demigod, he was a promise. he was soon to make you his.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next part

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ please let me know if you think reading about booty sex is gross (i'm doing market research)

[bi-numi-aliyani]

Jehovah, Jehovah, Jehovah!... No, actually, it's Yahweh,

A somewhat notable Deity considered by the ancient Israelite people their National God and first attested from the early 9th century BCE.¹

This c. 1518 painting by Raphael is based on a mystical vision of 𒀭Yahweh attributed to the prophet Ezekiel who belonged to a priestly lineage said to be descended from the legendary Joshua. Ezekiel was active during the time the Kingdom of Judah was conquered by the Neo-Babylonian Empire in the early 6th century BCE. (Public domain)

𒀭Yahweh was also apparently worshipped among the Edomites, the Israelites' southern neighbors, based on a reference to “Yahweh of Teman” in an inscription on an early 8th century BCE jar discovered at the site of Kuntillet ʿAjrud in the Sinai with Teman being a major Edomite clan.¹ It's believed the ʿAjrud outpost was established by the northern Kingdom of Israel as the region fell into their domain after a botched invasion by the southern Kingdom of Judah. The two kingdoms were also under the influence of the Neo-Assyrian Empire at this time with contemporaneous Assyrian records noting both Judahite and northern Israelite representatives at the capital city of Kalkhu (known as Nimrud in modern times).²

Illustrations of the two vessels from Kuntillet ʿAjrud with translations. It's debated if the 𒀭Bes-type figures on Pithos A are meant to depict 𒀭Yahweh and His Consort 𒀭ʾAsheratah, but it should be noted the righthand figure does not actually have visible genitals as the outdated illustration here shows.³ (Source)

Although 𒀭Yahweh is primarily associated with monotheistic religion nowadays for obvious reasons, historical evidence indicates He was first worshipped in a polytheistic context as the Israelite culture distinguished itself from the Canaanite milieu it emerged from. This can even be seen within the Hebrew Bible; A wonderful example is found in the Book of Habakkuk in the form of an archaic Hebrew poem describing 𒀭Yahweh and His Company including the Plague-God 𒀭Resheph (His Name is usually mistranslated as “plague” in English Bibles) battling sea monsters. Another one of the most noted can be seen in the Book of Deuteronomy and indicates 𒀭Yahweh was probably worshipped as One of the Seventy (symbolically “many”) Sons of 𒀭ʾEl:

⁸ When ʿElyon apportioned the nations, when He divided humankind, He fixed the boundaries of the peoples according to the number of the Gods; ⁹ Yahweh's own portion was His people, Jacob His allotted share.

Deuteronomy 32:8–9 (adapted from the New Revised Standard Version, Updated Edition, 2021)

𒀭Yahweh very much fits the form of other Storm-Gods worshipped in cultures of the Syro-Palestinian region during the Iron Age. The other most famous example of such a Deity is the Levantine manifestation of 𒀭Baʿal Who is cast as 𒀭Yahweh's greatest Rival in the collection of texts within the Hebrew Bible known as the Deuteronomistic history, although the presence of 𒀭Baʿal's name at ʿAjrud would suggest this conflict is a later development. It's even been proposed 𒀭Yahweh was originally associated specifically with destructive elements of weather such as flash floods.⁴ Although there are some respectable academic claims of pre-Israelite attestations of 𒀭Yahweh from the Late Bronze Age, none of these are secure and all of them are very much contested.⁵ The scholar Christian Frevel also fascinatingly proposed in 2021 that 𒀭Yahweh was the tutelary Deity of the Omride clan which came to rule the northern Kingdom of Israel for over a century and established its capital of Samaria.¹

A modern artistic impression of a ritual performed by ancient Israelites at the Temple of 𒀭Yahweh in Jerusalem during the Iron Age. The dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem built by King Solomon (c. 1910) by William Hole. (Public domain)

The emergence of monotheism from traditional Israelite belief is an incredibly convoluted topic that I don't intend to get into the weeds of here. One of the most recognizable milestones therein, though, was the religious reforms of King Josiah of Judah shortly before our dear Ezekiel's time. This saw the absolute consolidation of religious authority in the Temple of 𒀭Yahweh at Jerusalem and even the forced closure of all other cultic sites in Judah. However, there's also direct evidence that 𒀭Yahweh continued to be worshipped among other Gods and Goddesses well after the monotheistic, Jerusalem-centric religion which came to be known as Judaism had entered its Second Temple Period.

Most notably a community of Israelites living on the island of Elephantine at ancient Egypt's southern frontier had a Pantheon in which 𒀭Yahweh was associated with the Goddess 𒀭ʿAnat and another God named 𒀭Bethel.⁶ They even had Priestesses of Yahweh and were apparently on good terms with Jerusalem as indicated by the Aramaic-language texts written in Egyptian Demotic script discovered at Elephantine. An analysis of the narrative of Aaron's Rod in the Book of Numbers has also led to the alluring proposition that worship of the famous 𒀭ʾAsherah as 𒀭Yahweh's Consort may have continued even within the Jerusalemite cult itself during this period.⁷

An altar of incense discovered at the site of ancient Taʿanakh. Although it's dated to the tenth century BCE, predating any secure attestations of 𒀭Yahweh, some researchers believe the top and second-to-bottom registers are intended to symbolize Him with 𒀭ʾAsheratah likewise on the alternating registers. (Source)

There's so many fascinating developments being made in archaeology and the study of history unraveling more about the ancient Israelites and the worship of 𒀭Yahweh before our very eyes. I honestly feel incredibly privileged to be alive just in time to witness such a thing. Although I haven't “worked with” 𒀭Yahweh myself within my primarily Canaanite Pagan practice, I'd be very interested to hear and discuss different perspectives on this fascinating ancient Deity and it'd make me very happy to see what some of you think. Shulmu 𒁲𒈬 and thank you so much for reading!

Another thing

Given what part of the world this all concerns, I feel I would be morally remiss to say nothing of the genocide taking place against the Palestinian people in their homeland and particularly in Gaza. I find this important because earlier today the so-called President of the United States Donald Trump expressed the US's intent to “take over” and ethnically cleanse Gaza at a public event alongside Benjamin Netanyahu, the so-called Prime Minister of Israel. In the face of such great evil, I feel obligated by simple virtue of being a human to state I wholeheartedly support the full liberation of Palestine and an end to the unjust and unlawful occupation with all it has wrought. Arab.org is a website which allows you to support Palestinians via a simple click of a button with no donation necessary along with providing further resources. Free Palestine 🇵🇸

References

Frevel, Christian. ���When and from Where Did YHWH Emerge? Some Reflections on Early Yahwism in Israel and Judah.” Entangled Religions 12:2 (March 30, 2021). https://doi.org/10.46586/er.12.2021.8776.

Na’aman, Nadav. “Samaria and Judah in an Early 8th-Century Assyrian Wine List.” Tel Aviv 46:1 (January 2, 2019): pp. 12–20. https://www.academia.edu/43169801.

This was clarified by archaeologist Ze'ev Meshel in communication with Nir Hasson reporting for Haaretz, https://www.facebook.com/share/1JASsUsdcN.

Fleming, Daniel E. “Yahweh among the Baals: Israel and the Storm Gods.” Essay. In Mighty Baal: Essays in Honor of Mark S. Smith, edited by Stephen C. Russel and Esther J. Hamori, pp. 160–74. Harvard Semitic Studies 66. Leiden, Netherlands; Boston, Massachusetts, United States: Brill, 2020.

Pfeiffer, Henrik. “The Origin of YHWH and its Attestation.” Essay. In The Origins of Yahwism, edited by Markus Witte and Jürgen van Oorschot, pp. 115–44. Beihefte Zur Zeitschrift Für Die Alttestamentliche Wissenschaft 484. Berlin, Germany; Boston, Massachusetts, United States: De Gruyter, 2017.

Cornell, Colin. “Judeans and Goddesses at Elephantine.” Ancient Near East Today 7:11 (November 2019). American Society of Overseas Research (ASOR). https://www.asor.org/anetoday/2019/11/Judeans-and-Goddesses-at-Elephantine.

Eichler, Raanan. “Aaron’s Flowering Staff: A Priestly Asherah?” TheTorah.com, 2019. https://www.thetorah.com/article/aarons-flowering-staff-a-priestly-asherah.

My interpretation of the Blessing of ʾAmaryaw inscribed on Pithos B from Kuntillet ʿAjrud (pictured)

Be in peace!

May you be blessed to 𒀭Yahweh of Teman and 𒀭ʾAsheratah;

May they bless you and keep you and be with you always.

Praises to 𒀭Yahweh of Teman and 𒀭ʾAsheratah!

All they beseech of one is to act with compassion,

And 𒀭Yahu will give them according to their heart.

May the days be long and satisfied in their good time

For the sake of 𒀭Yahweh of Teman and 𒀭ʾAsheratah,

As 𒀭Yahweh of Teman and 𒀭ʾAsheratah favor the kindhearted.

[lilaccatholic]

Women with fertility issues do not belong in the church. God made them for one purpose and that is to get pregnant. Without that purpose, they are functionally useless and have no value

I don't usually answer obvious anon hate. Usually, I send it to the group chat and we all laugh over the cowardice it takes to send such bait and not have the guts to connect your name to it, but I feel like this time, if you want to shame me in private, you can get answered in public.

I have fertility issues. I've made no secret of that on this blog, and something tells me you know that. I could go on, wax lyrical about all the love the Church has for women who struggle in this area. I could point you to the countless women in the Bible itself who struggled to conceive, only to be granted a miracle in later life by God Himself.

I could point out to you how God calls people to celibacy, and if it weren't for the celibate you'd have almost none of those charities run by female religious, and that society would have certainly collapsed years ago were it not for childless cloistered women praying for it ceaslessly, but let's be honest here. You could have found those responses on Catholic Answers or any of the multitude of robust, beautiful sources the Church provides us in her wisdom and charity, or, well, done pretty much anything other than come into the inbox of a woman who is probably unable to bear children to spew your rhetoric, so instead of all that, I'm going to leave you with this: someday, someone you love, maybe even you or your own spouse, is going to struggle to conceive, and is going to tell you about it, and you are going to feel sick to your stomach because you remember what you said to me.

It's a good thing for you that the Church which welcomes me and those like me joyfully teaches us to not hold grudges, because we will surround that person with the love and support of the Church which you claim women like me don't deserve.

May God bless you, my friend. May He show you truth and heal whatever has caused you to lash out at someone who you don't even do the courtesy of addressing in person. My followers and I will be praying for you.

[scleroticstatue]

So, a while back, I ran a poll about how people interpret the Bible and I really feel like I should address the elephant in the room about Scientific interpretation. Specifically: none of us are doing it. Some of y'all even think it's heretical to interpret the Bible like that and I gotta say, God is (probably) sad if you feel like that.

See, most of scientific advancement pre-1900s was done by Christians — often Monks — and a lot of it was actually based on things they'd found reading the Bible. For example, wind and water currents were discovered because a guy was sick in bed reading Psalms, which said "the fish in the paths of the sea" and "the birds in the paths in the air." He'd never seen any paths in the sea, so he went looking for them and discovered ocean currents. Likewise, the Big Bang Theory was proposed by a Catholic bishop who figured, since the Bible said the universe had a beginning, the universe must have a beginning. Many of Newton's astronomical calculations were to explain Daniel & Revelation and his Observations on them are the foundation of experimental science.

And there are things there that you probably didn't even know! Circumcision happens on day eight, which is when blood clotting for newborns is most active and most safe. Epigenetics shows that an event can change DNA for 3-4 generations, the same amount of time God gives to generational curses. The air has weight. The Earth is suspended on nothing.

I'm not saying the Bible is a road map for how science has declared the world works, but I am saying that many of us could have our scientific minds opened by the Bible if we took time to read it like that. And I'd even challenge y'all to read it like that just once and see what you can find, both scientific principles that affirm what science knows and things for further research. You might just discover something brand new.

[tinwe-the-local-assassin]

The Best Timo

"Tyelko.”

The small hand of the little thief disappeared and away from the cookie tray on the counter at a speed which left Maitimo speechless and, if he was forced to admit, quite impressed.

The chided elfling looked up at him with his giant, ocean blue eyes and pouting lips and Maitimo could feel his resolve starting to waver.

So he had no choice but to look away.

“These are for my Eru Worship meeting with my friends. You have had your share. You can't have these, little one.”

His voice was gentle, yet firm and final. There, he had done it, and everything was ok–

He looked down when someone Tyelko pulled his hand, and found his impossibly huge eyes even bigger, somehow. His lips were starting to wobble, and his eyes looked moist.

With a longer glance, he found his face tense and forehead wrinkled as if he was under pressure.

Maitimo could only sigh.

“Don't force yourself to cry. You'll hurt your pretty little head.”

He ruffled his fluffy silver locks as Tyelko whined and stomped, feeling proud to have been able to overcome something as powerful as Tyelko's Huge, Sad Eyes gaze, or as Atya called it, Trap™.

“No!”

“No what?”

Tyelko huffed before clinging to his leg.

“No cookies for your friends. All cookies in the world are Tyelko!”

Maitimo couldn't help but snort at that before patting Tyelko's head.

“But then you would be so full, you can't eat my venison stew.”

Tyelko looked up at him with a frown. Sniffing, he took a moment before finally answering.

“Well…not all the cookies, but all of these cookies.”

“What about my friends, then?”

“They get their cookies from somewhere else. Like a bakery. These are mine!”

Maitimo couldn't quite hold back the laughter at this point. His brother was just too cute. And convincing, if he tried.

“But my friends like my baking, Tyelko.”

Sniffing again, Tyelko rubbed his face against Maitimo's pants. He grimaced. Hopefully none of the goop would be stuck to his clothing. He didn't have the time to change.

“Well, you not their Timo. You're Tyelko's Timo. They get their own Timo to make them cookies, even if you the best Timo and make the best cookies. They can have Aunt Findis’ sad diet banana cookies.”

Maitimo shouldn't have laughed this hard at this statement. He was going to an Eru worshipping meeting for Eru's sake!

He well remembered that sudden visit from his aunt, and her indeed sad looking cookies and the recipe written in her perfect handwriting. To make for Tyelko to manage the sugar he consumes. It's bad for him, she had said. But even Tyelko had enough self-respect to take one look at them, gag, and run for his life.

“Do you hate my friends enough to wish this upon them, brother?”

Tyelko pouted.

“They take Timo from Tyelko. Not nice.”

Maitimo couldn't help himself from cooing out loud and finally gave into the urge to scoop up his brother in his arms.

“Well, now that I am the best Timo out there, you know what I'm gonna do?”

Tyelko stopped squirming to stare at him, his cheeks blown out like a chipmunk.

“I’m gonna take you to my Eru Worship meeting, in the condition that you'll be good and won't make a mess. How does that sound?”

Tyelko let out the air he was holding and looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Timo hold Tyelko?”

He asked, and Maitimo just had to smooch his cheek. Tyelko giggled and threw his arms around Maitimo’s neck.

“Timo will always hold Tyelko.”

________

This little one shot was inspired by a silly RP between my friend and I after she shared a picture of the cookies for her Bible study.

Tyelko (me) don't like sharing cookies with anyone, esp if it was baked by Timo the Bro!

[alessiathepirate]

December 25

Prompt: Christmas party. / Mistletoe.

Fast and Furious: Deckard Shaw x fem!reader

•••

If Magdalene Shaw wanted you around for Christmas, then you most definitely were around for Christmas. It didn't matter that you had somewhere else to be or something else to do. What she said was more important and serious than the Bible itself.

Even for her kids. Especially for her kids.

Sometimes she wondered how their mother bought their affection and company. Maybe they found her scary when disappointed. Or she simply won them over with fake tears.

For Deckard it was most definitely the fake tears.

Sometimes she even laughed how easily Magdalene managed to get what she wants from them. There were times when they smiled at the other when Deckard couldn't see, and they quietly giggled when he realized his mother was playing around to get what she wants from him.

She actually liked Magdalene Shaw. She respected her too. However it was her turn to be left in the dark. Because no matter how clever the woman was, she most definitely didn't know that she was dating his son behind her back.

Not like it was supposed to be a top secret. No, both her and Deckard loved the woman, they just knew neither of them is mentally ready to take in her overbearing reaction. Or Hattie's. Or Owen's...

So they just decided to stay in the dark.

The Shaw Christmas party was a success. Of course it was. It didn't only have everything one might need, but it had a surprisingly pleasant mood too, the kind that meant none of the siblings were bickering. She had the idea that their mother talked to them beforehand.

"Are you enjoying yourself dear?"

She looked up, only to see Magdalene, who stood next to her armchair and looked down at her with a smile. She purposefully chose to sit there, in a corner with Hattie and Owen so she wouldn't have to introduce herself to every person she hadn't met yet.

"Of course." she smiled. "It's a wonderful party."

"See, that's why I like you." her hand touched her shoulder in comfort, yet that was the first time she felt like the woman knows something she doesn't.

She looked at Hattie for some support, but she only tilted her head discreetely as a no and Owen only shrugged when his mother couldn't see it.

She turned back toward Magdalene and smiled too. "Although your kids are acting a bit too nice for my liking, I was hoping for some fun."

That 'fun' meant shooting someone in the head or driving through the streets in a car with no car doors. Still, she prefered that over their nice behaviour at a Christmas party.

"As long as it's after the party, I'm not against it." her hand finally disappeared and she felt like she can breath again.

"That's what she promised to us too." Hattie said as she smiled and she did too. They had a nice friendship going on which meant 'if you want to leave I do too'.

"I'm really sorry to disturb you dear, but would you get some ice from the kitchen? I'm afraid one of our guest got into a nasty fight."

"And we are the ones who have to behave." Owen spoke up before she could, but he shut his mouth as soon as his mother gave her the look.

"Sure, I'll do it." she stood up after she made sure her dress looked nice. "See you in a sec."

The Shaws had many apartments all around the world and each and every one of them felt like a labyrinth - especially if it was full of people. She gently squeezed through them - almost stopping when she heard some of them talk about dealing cars - and finally reached the kitchen.

It was a big, dark and empty square, the one where she liked to hide when people became too much. She didn't bother with the lights, knowing the light source from the hall was enough. She quickly found the freezer and opened it, then she started to look for the ice.

It was already in her hands when the quiet sound of careful footsteps hit her ear and she grabbed onto the ice firmer as she turned around, one arm raised to smack the person in the face with the thing.

Her arm, however, was luckily caught. She would've felt extremely guilty to stare at Deckard's bruised face when they were alone.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" she cursed as she looked at him, her mind proceeding who she's seeing. "I almost hit you with the fucking ice!"

"You wouldn't have." Deckard smiled and she almost did too.

"I could have." she answered as she freed her arm from his grip, even though it felt really nice. "Where were you all night anyway?"

"Mom put me on firearm duty." he explained. "Someone might have a gun."

"Well do they?" she asked with a confused expression.

"Obviously." he smirked. "But so do we."

She turned to close the freezer and put the ice pack in her other hand.

"Merry Christmas by the way. I didn't have the chance to tell you that yet." her features turned calm and soft, just like it always happened around him.

"Did you get me a present?" his eyes were playful.

"Depends." she played around. "Did you get me one?"

"I might have."

She leaned in first, but he was the one who kissed her. She sighed as she kissed him back. It was the first kiss of the day.

"You look great in that dress by the way. It fits you well."

She slightly blushed at that.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself."

"Why are you in the kitchen?" he asked, looking like someone who really doesn't know.

"Your mom sent me here for some ice." she explained. "So we should get going before it completely melts."

"Let's get going then."

Deckard gently held her hand as they reached the hall, intertwining their fingers and holding her firmly, not wanting to lose her in the crowd. She liked it when Deckard was leading her, looking out for her even in the safest moments. She appreciated that a lot. She loved that about him a lot.

"Will you come over when the party's over?" she asked, trying to speak through the chatter and the music.

"Of course sweetheart." he answered as he pushed a man aside who was standing too close for his liking. "That was my plan from the beginning. Besides, I really bought you a present."

She blushed, but luckily this time he didn't have a single chance to see it. They reached the corner where she sat before anyway and she felt strange as she realized Deckard kept his eyes on her throughout the whole evening.

"Here it is." she said as she gave the ice pack to Magdalene.

The woman took it, but her eyes never left hers.

She felt Deckard's hold on her hand tighten and she realized that their cover was blown. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing really came out. She could see Hattie and Owen changing looks in the corner, then they took a sip from their wine.

"Thank you dear." Magdalene said, her face staying serious. She then turned to look at his son. "Don't you fucking lie to me ever again." her features then softened fast, clearly stating that she wasn't really angry. "Mistletoe by the way." she pointed out the thing above them and left.

She could hear Hattie's laugh from the corner.

[whorediaries-09]

don't blame me;

pairing- priest!remus lupin x reader warning(s)- illusions to sex, dark themes. (let me know if i should add more). [this is a dark fic. your media consumption is your choice and i'm not responsible for it. please do not continue under cut if you're uncomfortable.] a/n- i found this in my drafts. i have no idea why this wasn't published yet but okay.

ps- not using my regular taglist since this is a topic many people can be uncomfortable with.

little train inspiration (for god's sake please use headphones) 700 followers celebration post.

' and baby, for you, i would fall from grace, just to touch your face. '

remus slowly read the verse, the thick spine of the bible tucking into the flesh of his thighs.

'amen,' he said, speaking his final lines of the verse. the sound from his lips was blinded over the noise of the hinges of the church door opening. he snapped his head, eyes darting towards the entrance. the soft sunlight peaked through the glass, creating a beautiful kaleidoscopic effect.

'hello?' his voice echoed through the empty church. when his eyes met yours, he couldn't stop but dawn his eyes upon yours. you were clad in the white clothes you regularly wore when you went to the church. but there was something different around it. perhaps an extra sinch at the waist which highlighted the curve of your breasts. or was it the sunlight behind you making a halo like effect which made you look like an descending from heaven.

'oh, it's you,' he gathered, his fingers raking over the bible, closing the hardcover. 'come on in, then,'

'am i interrupting anything?' you asked. your voice was soft, like cool breeze blowing after the first rainfall. he chuckled.

'no, no you're not interrupting anything,' his statement ended, clashed with the sound of the door closing. you walked towards him, twiddling with your thumbs, your eyes transfixed on the statue of jesus.

'do you need something? i can leave you in peace if you prefer.' he said, standing up and dusting his clothes. he wasn't wearing his usual robes. he had opted for gray slacks paired with a soft blue shirt.

'no it's fine,' you walked towards him. 'i actually like some company, when i pray,' he smiled, his gaze smoothening down on your form.

'no no, i understand,' he said walking towards you, his thumb raking over the rosemary beads in his palm. 'lots of people prefer company in the church. physical company anyway. he,' his index pointed towards the stature of jesus, 'is always here.'

'a constant companion,' you said, recalling his words from a few months ago. 'i remember that. you enlightened me with that information during our gospel interpretation session.' he chuckled softly,

'i'm surprised you remember i said that. that was quite a few months ago,' you nodded, twisting your fingers together.

'speaking of which,' he whispered, so as to not let his voice echo. 'erm, you have been missing for a few weeks.' you stare at him, your eyes glossy.

'are you mad? that i've been missing?' he moves forward, waving his hands quickly reassuring,

'no no, not mad at all. i just,' he pauses, as if choosing his words carefully, 'missed your presence. and our discussions afterwards.' you let his words register into your senses. it's quiet as the sun settles, the blue hue of the sky meddling into a beautiful orange.

'there are other people who come to the church, mr. lupin.' he takes a deep breathe. it's serene, the way his name spills off your tongue.

'yes, but it gets quite boring with the same old people and the same old interpretations. you're intelligent...you're curious. i enjoy your fresh air of understanding.'

'you don't mean that.' you laugh. he sighs, letting his tongue dart over his teeth.

'oh no, i mean that,' he twiddles with his thumb, running his fingers through his locks with his other hand. he rubs his neck, drawing your attention to a small patch of ink on his neck.

'may i ask you the reason of your absence? it's none of my business of course,' his stale amber eyes pierce into you, as if trying to scan for answers.

'i got a few days off work. so i wanted to go on a little vacation.' you say.

'oh, i see, i'm glad you're out there having some fun. i'd do the same in your position. especially with the weather we've been having recently,' he emphasizes. his eyes wander about, as if searching for words, looking for phrases to let the conversation continue. 'i understand your need for freedom.'

you let the words hang in the air, tasting the freshness of the newly spoken sentences. you watch his nicely polished shoes, before you bite your tongue, meeting his eyes, allowing yourself to drown in the burnt amber color of them.

'do you mind it? the freedom? the fun?' he stands silent, as if speechless. it was extremely difficult to keep a man like remus lupin dumbfoundedly silent.

'no,' he says, 'i don't particularly mind it. i've...dedicated my life to this... this is my calling.' he laughs a little, a bark like laughter echoing through the walls. 'besides, i live my life through hearing your escapades.'

'i think you should live life a little. i'm saying this because i consider you my friend.'

'you do?' he says, softly biting his beautiful pink lips. 'well i consider you a friend too.' you nod.

'not many, erm, consider me other than someone who's a priest or think of any... friendly interactions, so... i appreciate that very much.'

you twiddle with your thumb, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. your mind floods with screams as you think of the next question you want to ask him. your heart thumps loudly in your chest, the heat of the blood curving through every inch of your body.

'can i ask you a question?'

'of course, you can ask me anything.'

'have you kissed anyone before?' it's vague, short yet straight forward. a slight pink tint overcomes his pale skin, his tongue tying up in knots before he processes his answer.

'oh, i- yes. i have kissed people before.' he licks his lips. 'though, in secret. we're not...uh meant to have relationships but... everybody needs company...sometimes.' you hum softly at his answer, minutely surprised at the lack of a reaction. then, you frame your next question, almost like a child so free of sin. you are, if partly so.

'do you consider it a bad thing mr. lupin?'

'no,' he laughs. 'i don't consider it a bad thing. i enjoy your curiosity.' he moves forward, a few painful inches away from you. it's as if he can feel the heat from your body. he enjoys it. 'and, neither do i think you're going to tell on me or anything, but yes, i have had companies of a different nature, too.'

the gasp ends in your throat. it's as if he reads your mind.

'i'm not such an extremist that i condemn that kind of thing. carnal desires are...human. the lord created us with them. so why should we deny ourselves?'

'isn't it wrong? a sin? perhaps you... don't mean it.' you say.

'no, i do mean it. to want intimacy is such an intricately human thing it isn't...wrong to want it or engage in it.'

'i've wanted intimacy, desired for it. for so long, mr. lupin, but i find myself stranded. because nobody expresses it back. perhaps you can tell me how it feels, with your experience of the humane carnal desire for intimacy,'

'oh.. well we've established that we're friends but... is that really something you should be asking a priest? you're a curious little thing aren't you?' you smile paired with a little nod of your head. you truly are curious.

'well,' he pauses, looking into your eyes, trying to search for something. 'if you must know, i haven't had any complaints. i've been told i give a rather...satisfactory performance.' he laughs. 'but, it has been quite some time.'

'oh. how long?'

'almost eight months so uh..nearly about a year, roughly,' he whispers, as you move closer. you're close enough for his warm breath fan over you, letting goosebumps kiss your skin.

'i think... i'll also be a satisfactory performer in bed,' you say. he laughs his eyebrow tilting.

'oh you think you are? your confidence is very cute.' he says, moving closer. you watch his pupils dilate, as the distance decreases between your bodies. something takes over him, as his breathing turns erratic, his heart palpitating. 'although,' he continues, 'the matter of one's performance in bed is highly subjective.'

'i can show you, the performance. i want to feel the intimacy, how it feels to be wanted, mr. lupin.' you say, almost begging. his hands twitch and your body aches for the touch of someone you've never felt before.

'i guess i'm sure you would like to find out, but...we shouldn't... we really shouldn't,' he feels his nerves turning shoddy as tries to not drown into the depth of your eyes. he says it, trying to convince himself more than you. but how can he when you look so pretty, like dew strewn across fresh grass. you jut out your lower lip.

'don't you find me pretty mr. lupin?' his eyes widen, his palm cradling your cheek. his thumb runs over your cheek and he enjoys the warm flush of your skin upon his touch, the goosebumps on your kissing every inch of your body.

'no, you are very beautiful. i mean it. apart from your intelligence, your beautiful mind is what...drew me to you.' he watches you melt into his touch and words and knits his eyebrows. 'but, we can't, we really can't, someone could just walk in.'

perhaps that's what excites you. the idea of someone walking in, the idea of somebody catching you. perhaps it's the sin that excites you.

'please,' you beg, your eyes glossy with an unsatiated lust, the carnal desire for intimacy, for his touch. 'please, remus, i need to know.' he takes a deep breathe, as the warm blood rushes between his legs.

he grabs your face, touching his temple with yours. 'fuck it,' he whispers, capturing his lips with yours. he's the priest, he needs to enlighten you with the knowledge you beg for, the experience you beg for.

perhaps it's sinful, but when his tongue meets yours, swallowing the sounds from your mouth, there's no sweeter innocence than his gentle sin. he'll be a poison ivy just for you, just to worship you at the shrine of his sins.

[1-800-local-slut]

rio getting to know shy reader but realizing she far from that now that’s she’s getting comfortable with him.

-🪡

He's Right

I hope you like this! I made it hella suggestive at the end. Please let me know what you think! I just started this show Rio is literally my baby daddy but I'm only like four episodes in so I'm if it's too out of character.

Likes and reblogs are very appreciated!

Pairing: Rio (good girls) x shy! black! reader

Warnings: cheating, mentions of traumatic past, cursing, suggestiveness at the end, reader has a boyfriend

I need him in a way that isn't natural, I need him in my draws NOW.

______________________________________________________________

"Can I help you with anything sir?" Rio glanced up, his sharp eyes leaving the book he was examining.  The Lord of the Flies or some shit. He was sure he read it in school. But that didn't matter. What mattered was the woman standing before him. His eyes flicked to her neckline, seeing the star shaped necklace around her chest. That right there was perfect, telling him everything he needed to know about her relation to his target.

The woman was the younger sister of King Jericho. Otherwise known as some lame ass pimp who made the mistake of stealing from Rio. And no one steals from him and gets aways with it.

He still remembers how he was sitting with Marcus in a McDonald's drive through. Marcus was eating chicken nuggets, getting barbecue sauce and shit all over his mouth. Rio was telling him to take it easy, then he heard chiming. His phone rang, and Mick told him that their man went ghost. And when they couldn't find him, that meant they couldn't find Rio's money. And THAT was a problem.

So to make a long story short, Rio had to go the long way and go to his family. Mom sent him and Mick packing, dads dead. Only person left was his sister. And that led him to the gorgeous brown skinned woman before him.

"Of course you can, mama. I need help, I'm looking for King." His eyes scanned over her entire body, looking for something, anything, that could get him some help. Her brown eyes, and long eyelashes blinked at him but they didn't show fear or recognition. Instead she stared patiently waiting for him to continue. Nothing, time to try something else.

"Is that a series? Or an author? Do you know the genre?" Trying her best to do her job, he watched her reach into her side for her walkie talkie. So she didn't know about the King part, time to check if she knew about Jericho.

"Nah, it's none of that. I'm looking for Jericho." And there it was. The second the words left his voice in his usual charming manner her eyes filled with panic. Goosebumps appeared on her brown skin and one of her hands flew to her hair. He noticed for the first time that it must be a wig, black hair was in waves down her body and parted down her middle. For some reason her shiny hair was oddly enticing to him. Her teeth sunk into her plump, glossy lips and Rio's eyes flickered over them.

"Like...from the Bible?" Her soft voice was like music to his ears. If only that sentence wasn’t so stupid.

"...The Bible." He repeated while narrowing his eyes. Either he was being played for stupid,which was not a smart thing to do or she was stupid. He wanted to believe the woman he just found attractive even for a moment wasn’t an idiot. 

“Nah girl. I think you know what I’m talking about.” Placing the book that was still in his hands on the table behind him. Her chest was heaving quickly and she was clearly beginning to panic. Rio moved his eyes up to Mick, who was looking at a cookbook with Snoop Dogg on the cover. With a wave of his two fingers, Mick began to intercept her escape.

“I don't, I'm sorry. I don’t think I can help you, maybe you should check somewhere else.” Slowly turning on her heels, she walked head first into Mick. His solid chest stopped her, and nudged her glasses further up on her face. Stepping back she softly groaned and readjusted her lenses.

“Now, this looks like an interesting book. Can you tell me what it’s about?” Rio asked, sitting down and Mick led her to put her plump behind, that Rio noticed when he saw her through the shop's window. She nervously took a seat. While clenching and unclenching her hands on her skirt, Rio watched her with observant eyes. With a glance, he motioned to the book attempting to get her to tell him the truth. With a shaky breath one of her manicured hands reached for the book.

“It’s Lord of the Flies. It revolves around this group of British boys who are stranded on an uninhabited island and try to govern themselves. Things go bad really really fast.” Her brown eyes met him once more and he smirked. In response, she looked down at the table and snuck two looks at him.

“Oh nice nice, it got a nice ending n shit?” With a swift nod, he hummed. He kept his eyes trained on the golden star dangling from her chest, probably bought with Rio’s money.

“Alright, here’s the deal. Your brother’s a bitch. He stole from me and ran out, and I need to find him. And I need you to tell me where he is.” She swallowed thickly. 

“And who exactly would you be?” 

“My name ain’t important moma. Just know, I know you. I know your mom, I know your auntie and your grandma, I know your boyfriend too. You mom is vicious, she sent my ass packing and told me to try you next.” Her eyes got wider and wider with each sentence. He’d probably be shocked too if his own mom sold him out. Her brother had always been trouble for her. At least that’s what he gathered. She’s had to get him out of trouble more than once. Mostly out of trouble with men, going on dates and what not for his sake. No way they weren’t talking any more. 

“Look, I don’t know anything about my brother. I haven’t talked to him in like 3 years! I can’t help you. Whatever debt he’s got with you, I can’t settle it.” With a scoff and a sigh, Rio rolled his eyes lightly. Her eyes went wide at his laughter, her finger digging into her nails. She was afraid of him. He didn’t like that, but that brother of hers seems  to have gotten her involved with a lot over the past few years.

“Relax, ma I ain’t gonna hurt you. I just need you to tell me where he is.” Her head shook quickly, her hair flying around wildly. She was still denying contact.

“That’s a nice necklace. You enjoying 21?” Her face went stiff. Her mouth opened slightly to respond, her glossy lips parting. Then they shut quickly as he saw tears well up in her eyes. He was right. The necklace was sent to her apartment by her brother exactly one week ago for her 21st birthday.

“I can’t help you. I don’t know where he is, this didn’t have a return address. It came in an Amazon bag! I mean, if I could I’d help you but I can’t do anything for you gentlemen.” She was trembling in her seat, and two tears escaped her eyes. But if she could receive something from him, she could learn exactly where he was. And given he had no leads, he had to settle for asking her to find out for him. 

She was crying like he had threatened her, and he partially imagined what type of people she had been around to warrant a reaction like this.

“Look ma, I just need you to stop crying. Can you do that?” He asked and she nodded, wiping tears from her face.

“I can’t just let you go though. Your brother sent you something and I need you to find out where he sent it from. That’s it. Tell you what, put this book on hold for me. Imma be back tomorrow, with enough to pay for it. Nothing’s gonna happen to you, I just need you to learn this for me.” He slid out of his seat, leaving the trembling woman there and she placed her face in her palms in dismay.

______________________________________________________________

“Shit! What the fuck Rio?! You just break into my fucking house, you couldn't give me a phone call?” Growled the woman in a  slightly drunken anger. She turned on the lights next to the door and kicked off her heeled shoes. His eyes looked up and down her curved figure and she glared at him. Rio let out a laugh and his head lolled back on his shoulders. He was sitting on the back of her couch, petting her black cat who purred gently. Rio already found out that her cat adored anyone who fed her. 

“Well yeah baby. We still haven’t found your punk ass brother.”  Her eyes rolled hard into her head, and she threw her purse down and came around to the couch. Plopping down on her couch, Rio looked over at her soft skin covered by her golden dress.

It had been about two months. Two months since Rio went into the bookstore she worked at. Two months after the third day he entered the shop and she informed him that she found him. Then when he got there and found Jericho skipped out once again. And from there, something about her kept Rio coming back to bother the shy woman. Except she wasn't what he thought at first.

The woman slouched on the couch right next to him was vulgar, loud and proud, abrasive and more. She cursed at him, cursed out the TV, cursed out her mother and grandmother and boyfriend. She cursed out Rio. She was perfect for him. She was nice to him, despite their off putting first meeting. She put him in his place when she felt he needed it. She wasn’t afraid to tell him to shut his goofy ass up in her exact words. But still, sometimes he’d look at her and she looked just about ready to fold for him. And Rio liked that shit.

Now in a golden mini dress that she wore, with body glitter all over her breast was enticing Rio. She smelt like a mix of vanilla and a bar. In truth, if she could find her brother for him he didn’t care anymore. He could find him on his own with the clues they found at his last known location. In fact, soon enough they’d get their final location. He just liked bothering her. And it wasn’t like she was even bothering to look for him anymore. Last he asked she told him to suck her dick, she wouldn’t be searching for shit. 

“What’s wrong baby, you have a shitty night?” He asked, taking one of his large hands and cupping her face. He noticed her thighs pressed together with intense pressure. A smirk came across his face, and ran a thumb over her stained lips. She leaned into his touch and he waited for his answer.

“My boyfriends being a cunt again.” She sighed and her cat jumped into her lap, patting his paws on her soft thighs. Rio wanted to do that too, boyfriend be damned.

“Oh yeah?” He asked his hand itching down to her neck and his pinky scraping over the chain of that star necklace. That same necklace that pushed them to meet. Her eyes stayed glued to his, as she glanced up at him with wide eyes.

“He’s going on about not trusting my friendship with you. Then he told me to get the fuck on, since I didnt want to dance at the club. He was like ‘oh you rather dance with that other nigga?’ and I was like  ‘he’s not a fucking pussy, he could probably dance better than you’ so he told me to fuck off and I left him and told him not to come home tonight. You’re the other nigga in question. The niggas trippin, he keep bitching about it. He says he knows you wanna fuck me. He’s being a bitch, it’s making me want to cheat on him.” Suddenly he smirked at her. She raised an eyebrow, still feeling the heat of his hand on her throat and rubbing her thighs together.

“And what if I told you he was right?” His hand was now lightly around her throat, and he brushed pieces of her curly afro out of her face with his free hand. Slowly she began to process his words. Then a wicked smile crossed her face and she licked her lips.

“You should do something about that then.” Her voice now low and seductive, as he saw sparks of mischief in her eyes. He leaned in and pressed his lips against her soft ones. They pulled away for a moment and he lightly squeezed her throat harder. Licking his lips, he tasted the liquor and her strawberry lipgloss.

“I’m about to show you what else I’m better than his ass at.”

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

So I was reading N.T. Wright’s paper on the biblical basis for women’s service in the church (and it was pretty great imo) and he frequently refers to the idea that distinctions between man and woman no longer exist post-salvation (which for most Christian traditions means post-baptism) and condemns it as gnostic.

Note: I’ll be defining gnostic pretty loosely. Just focus on the “neglect for material physical reality in favor of a more immaterial spiritual thing” aspect.

What he is referring to is similar but not exactly like the egalitarian anthropology called “eschatological feminism”. In this view the original human, Adam, is androgynous until the fall, after which gender was created. According to this view’s interpretation of Galatians 3:28, baptism (the introduction into new creation) returns humans to that pre-fallen state of androgyny. 

There is more: Sexuality, the main division between genders, is said to be the root of female subordination. Relationships that are typically rooted in sexuality (marriage and motherhood) place women in roles that are subordinate in accordance with society's patriarchal norms. The path to equality is believed to be found when women transcend these roles —traditionally through celibacy (as seen in the life of Paul). Transcending worldly norms, which the Bible instructs Christians to do, brings men and women to the state of androgyny that eliminates gender subordination; thus, Christianity is intended to manifest gender equality. Transcendence is the core of eschatological feminism; women reach equality with men by separating from the world, rather than changing it. 

N.T. Wright doesn’t really do this perspective justice imo. Part of the reason for that is that this perspective is focused on Genesis 2 whereas Wright is focused more so on Genesis 1: “male and female he created them.” 

Eschatological feminism is actually really popular on progressive Christian tumblr (except in tetrahedra to trans theology instead of feminist theology), albeit without all of the elaborate aspects I mentioned. Actually, progressive christblr tends to be closer to Wright’s simplification of this perspective: in Genesis 1 we were made male and female, but once in Christ (which for most Christians means once baptized) there is no male nor female. 

That said, I have to agree with Tom: that is gnostic. It treats the original created state as something to be done away with and is, surprisingly, actually a lot closer to evangelical or fundamentalist perspectives on creation (theological horseshoe theory???). It shows a certain disdain or contempt for og creation and New Creation as a denial of old creation instead of a reaffirmation of it. Wright, who like Paul is a theologian of new creation, is spot on with this critique. 

Side note: Gnosticism will always be a temptation where there is a neglect for the physical and an emphasis on the spiritual. Since eschatological feminism is inspired by asceticism and mysticism, it makes sense that it would have gnostic tendencies. And the same can be said for evangelicalism. Tho it is not ascetic or mystical, it does see material reality is both distinct from and lower than nonmaterial reality. 

That said. I don’t think that eschatological feminism or trans theology has to be intrinsically gnostic. 

Asceticism and mysticism 

Adam being originally androgynous 

Female subordination being the result of the fall

Baptism as New Humanity (in which subordination and oppression can no longer be tolerated)

Elevation of the status of single people

Gender equality 

Separation from human made power structures 

All of these things are really good things and are key aspects of eschatological feminism. None of them are heretical. However

The harsh view of sex, marriage, and motherhood

The treatment of creation as something to be done away with

The idea of sex and/or gender as fundamentally bad

View of Christianity as escapist

All of those are unbiblical. But, I think both eschatological feminism and trans theology can get on well without them. 

[ohholydyke]

A continuation of my previous post on the infamous Clobber Passages and non celibate queerness as requested by @lawfulgoodrubberducky if you haven’t read Part I: Leviticus 18:22 I highly recommend you do so especially because I’ll be building off a lot of the analysis I laid out in there.

Part II: Romans 1:26-28

For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,

and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper

Alright let’s go again, first of all the analysis I did in Part I on the game of telephone that is biblical text and human limitation also applies here, though Romans doesn’t have as big of a gap as Leviticus does (St. Paul probably wrote it in 55-57 AD and our earliest manuscript of Romans 1:26-28 is Papyrus 40 from the Gregory-Aland numbering dated to the 3rd century AD).

Second of all, several biblical scholars assert that Romans 1:18-2:29 are a non-Pauline late addition rather than part of the original text, but I’m not gonna analyze that here. If you’re interested pls go look into that and see if you believe in that opinion or not. (I just found out this information while researching and fact checking info for this post so I don’t have an opinion currently).

Now, let’s begin again with external context:

St. Paul wrote Romans to the Roman people after Christianity had already begun to spread. Notably, Romans accomplishes two tasks: first, it addresses some of the syncretism and cross cultural lingering behaviors from all the Roman pagans and other gentiles that had converted to Christianity (and by this point, most of the church in Rome was made of gentile pagan converts). Second, it’s basically St Paul pinching his nose and sighing and going “can you PLEASE get along” to the Jewish Christians and the Gentile Christians.

So in both cases we can be pretty sure that the behavior occurring in Romans 1:26-28 is something that was 1. Roman pagan behavior being syncretized or cross-culturally transmitted into the early church and/or 2. A point of contention between Jewish Christians and Gentile Christians either as a whole or in this specific church. Again, look at part I for a discussion on the types of behaviors common during this era and why none of them are what we would now identify as queerness. Secondly, this passage is being used as an example of how Gentiles either worshipped creation instead of the creator or otherwise engaged in actions not approved of by God. Some people argue this is a natural law argument based on “natural behaviors” (to which I would turn to the several instances of queer-like behavior in animals as a question mark for what exactly was occurring here), but I wanna focus especially on the notion of “exchanging their natural function.” Again, the idea of human sexuality and intercourse as orientation didn’t exist back then. The context suggests that the behavior here is specific to the Gentiles, in this case the Roman population, who have been given over to some behavior or another. The word for “indecent acts” is aschēmosynē, a word only found in the Bible in Romans 1:27 and Revelation 16:15. In the latter verse, it refers to one who does not keep his garments on in preparation for Christ’s return and thus “[goes] naked and [is] seen exposed.” Thus, the action refers more to a sense of exposure and vulnerability than a sexual act so to speak, and is tied (as stated above) to worshipping creation over the Creator.

Cue the Romans: Roman religion promoted sexuality as an aspect of prosperity for the state, and individuals might turn to private religious practice or "magic" for improving their erotic lives or reproductive health. Additionally, it was considered natural and unremarkable for men to be sexually attracted to teen-aged youths of both sexes, and even pederasty was condoned as long as the younger male partner was not a freeborn Roman.

Let’s look at the other Pauline passage used as an argument against queerness—1: Corinthians 6:8, which condemns malakos and arsenokoitēs. Malakos, translated as “effeminate,” is commonly held by scholars to refer to temple prostitutes or boys within a pederasty dynamic (I won’t call it a relationship because it’s pedophilia). Within Roman society, the effeminate was the submissive of lower status compared to the dominant “masculine” Roman citizen, and it was a dishonor to take on this role because it made one “lesser” or “a woman” in some cases (hence the effeminate translation). Notably, the word only shows up in other instances in the Bible to refer to “a man in soft clothing” within a king’s palace in Matthew 11:8 and Luke 7:25, which highly suggests a concubine or the boy of a pederast ruler in the Roman-ruled Levant. Arsenokoitēs, meanwhile, literally translates to “man-bedder” or “man-coitus-haver.” This refers to the dominant role in these dynamics—one who penetrates and beds another—and is framed as the counterpart to the malakos. Thus, both terms are closer to the Greek erastes and eromenos, the terms used for the older dominant man and submissive boy in Greek pederasty. They refer to specific sexual roles within a specific sexual dynamic (similar to how “Dominant” and “Submissive” are particular roles in BDSM). Paul’s condemnation is of a particular Roman sexual dynamic, one deeply tied into Roman religion and Roman societal structures (in which the penetrating arsenokoitēs held greater social status and class than the malakos.). Notably, this is the only major form of same-sex dynamics accepted within Roman society and the one which closest matches the context and descriptions of the words and verses. It seems easy to conclude, then, that Romans 1:26-28 is also tied into the same approach to Roman dynamics. Once again, I refer to part I, where I discuss why there would be condemnation of a specific social class-structured sexual dynamic. Ultimately, it is because Christianity destroyed social and class divides, and condemned many structures which opposed it, particularly within the structure of the Roman Empire (for instance, “turn the other cheek” means the Roman soldier would be forced to break a particular slapping etiquette and thus treat you as an equal, and “walk the extra mile” would mean the soldier is illegally forcing you to work beyond what was socially and legally acceptable). In any case, I find it hard to believe that Paul in either instance was referring to what we now refer to as queerness when the particular Roman sexual dynamic makes far more sense historically, etymologically and contextually.

Edit: as for women, “in the same way” suggests they’re engaging in the same dynamic. We don’t have much record of women same sex sexual dynamics in Rome, but the divide between citizens, non citizens, wives, courtesans and sex workers was pretty strong, and Paul’s parallels between the two make me comfortable cross-applying the interpretation there. Plus, that requires a lot less intervention than dismissing Roman sexual dynamics in favor of assuming Paul meant modern sexual orientation.

[dearheart42regenerated]

MOTORCITY SEASON 2 MASTERPOST

once upon a time, over 10 years ago, just a few months after the announcement that Motorcity was officially canceled...the creators of the show took pity on their heartbroken fandom and gave us several glimpses of what season 2 might have been like. they saw how much we loved Motorcity and gave us every scrap of info they could at the time, so that we could use those scraps to imagine our own personal "Season 2" - whether it continue on in our fics, our fanart, or simply our own heads.

I'm making this masterpost so that none of this material will be lost or forgotten, and so any fanartists/fic writers still hanging around today can use it for inspiration. if there's any related material I've missed, PLEASE feel free to add it in a reblog or let me know in my inbox! I want this list to be as complete as we can make it! :)

--

The Season 2 That Never Was: A Comprehensive List

Motorcity Season 2 Rough Intro "Scratch audio by our very own Chris P." (x)

-> backup download

--

Season 2 Writer's Wall posted (and later deleted) by @chrisprynoski on twitter, and shared on tumblr by @peopleofmotorcity, these pictures of the writer's wall showed us a "rough sketch" of what could have been, and gave our imaginations SO many fun theories and possibilities to play with. every blurry sticky note was a treasure to us. :')

-> original tumblr posts: x x x x x x x x x x x x -> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Chris Prynoski's Fan Interview + Tumblr Q&A's this whole interview on youtube is a delight to listen to, and Part 2 in particular has some interesting bits about season 2. (skip to 17:10 for some good stuff about Texas and Chuck's backgrounds!)

-> Part 1 -> Part 2

Chris P also answered several juicy season 2 questions on tumblr. sadly his blog is deactivated now, but you can still read through all of them at the links below!

-> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Capri Chilton - Mike Chilton's long lost big sister! I can't remember where or when it was first revealed that they were considering giving Mike a secret older sister, and I haven't been able to track down the origin. that being said, when it was revealed, the fandom loved the idea so much that they begged the creators to make it canon. Chris P busted out the "magical canon stick", gave us this delightful concept sketch, and "Capri Chilton" was born!

--

The Motorcity Series Bible "To help you all understand what it is you are reading, this is the material that Titmouse used to help pitch Motorcity, and it was also a tool for writers to use when coming up with episodes to help understand who the characters were before there was any other reference. That being said, this was one of the very first documents about Motorcity, so many things have changed or evolved from these early concepts." (x)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 -> image backups -> PDF download

EDIT: the COMPLETE series bible has now been leaked by Lost Media Busters on X (Twitter) and helpfully shared by @waksworldrebooted!!

--> here is a google drive download for the full PDF file!

--

Motorcity Series Bible - Redacted Version (Pages 1, 2, 17, 19, 20) funfact: @peopleofmotorcity was the official? unofficial? tumblr blog for Motorcity, and it was run by a guy named Mac - an animator for the show who loved to tease and joke around with the fandom. before revealing the actual first 13 pages of the series bible, he posted this censored version as a prank - a mix of truth and trolling! it's up to the fandom to decide which is which. ;)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 17 19 20 -> image backups -> PDF download

--

MTV Era Motorcity Masterpost a fantastic collection of glimpses into the original pilot/pitch trailer that would evolve into the show we know and love today, found and compiled by @waksworldrebooted. "In 2000, Chris Prynoski pitched a cartoon called Motorcity. He made a card and a website promoting the show, which wouldn't see the light of day until the Walt Disney Company got their hands on it."

--> tumblr masterpost (including wayback links to the old website) --> twitter sources from Chris P himself :)

--

Motorcity Unaired Pilot - 2009 Disney Version Originally aired during Comic Con 2012, the pilot was recorded and then posted on YouTube by Allison Simmons in July of 2012, later being privatized in 2022. The video was re uploaded onto VKVideo 22 days after its original posting to YouTube and is still currently available to watch online. (x)

--> backup download --> also viewable here!

--

if I find more material, I will add it here! :)

[becauseimanicequeen]

I swear I’ve been staring at this for scientific reasons!

Those runes...

Yes, I can actually focus on the runes for two fucking seconds. (But, only for two seconds...)

Anyway...

I've been trying to figure out what those Nordic runes mean for the past 30 minutes or so (you know, when I could take my eyes away from Jes, and Bible's hand, and Bible's thigh, because that's Bible's thigh, right? Did I mention the hand? And Jes...).

Runes usually have several meanings, but some that I found were:

The "p" looking rune is a symbol of giants and danger

The "n" looking rune is a symbol of water and aurochs (which is an extinct cattle that used to be one of the largest herbivores)

The zigzag rune is a symbol of masculine energy, the inner fire that resides in every one of us, and growth

I can't see what the mark higher up on his thigh is

And the closest rune I could find for that trident-looking one was a rune that's a symbol of protection

With that said (and if this is Bible’s thigh), it's interesting that Bible's character is called Great (considering the symbols of giants and the large herbivores).

It also seems like there's something going on with water...

And the color red, which is often connected to fire, strength, and passion (which, in turn, are often connected to masculine energy), also seems to have some significance...

Color me intrigued.

Honestly, I didn't expect the runes to have any significance (and they might not either, this might just be me being delulu and finding meaning where there is none).

At the same time, though, it can’t just be a coincidence. Right?

Either way, I can't wait to find out more. Just give it to me!

[endofradio]

PERSONAL JESUS – PROLOGUE: THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS

READ ON AO3

notes: what’s up gang! decided to officially get started on a full-length father joseph steiger fic because the ritual has been living in my head rent free lately. i will never understand the hate for that movie. anyways! i really want to take a unique approach to things with this fic. i’m going to occasionally sprinkle in some diary entries (like i’m doing with the prologue here) to add a bit of nonlinear storytelling as well as use some bible verses for titles and chapter introductions. i’m locking the Fuck in for this. gonna force myself to make it a slow burn too.

summary: not too much happens in this prologue except for a diary entry by iris of her talking about her feelings for father joseph (some foreshadowing/a sneak peek at what’s to come 😏), then it cuts to her arriving in earling, iowa some months earlier with her parents. the following chapters will be much longer. sorry this one’s short and kinda sucks 😭

warnings: none!

word count: 1.3k

tags: @hesawifebeaterdanusethegun @daniirosie @nettlesomecorvid @rachaeljurassic @astrangegirlsmind @berrysemifreddo @viennagirl71 @the-ghosts-that-haunt-me @maria-allegra @beautifulthingsarefragile @dopewitchtrash @stringcheezeislife @shrimpella21 @maggotssmichael @professional-sinner @trelaney

“The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, Even to give every man according to his ways, According to the fruit of his doings." - Jeremiah 17:9-10

The following is a diary entry written by Iris Newton, dated "Mar. Friday 16, 1928."

"I haven't really written in this diary much since arriving in Earling a few months ago. There hasn't been much for me to write about anyway, because this is such a boring little piece of shit town. Ha, makes sense why Mom and Dad chose to drag me here. I haven't had enough interesting things happen to me to write about, except for getting a job as a typist (which isn't that great of a job because it's boring, the pay is shit, and it's loud. I'm only taking this job because I need the money and am decent at typing, I suppose), and meeting the priest for the local parish, St. Joseph's. Funny enough, his name is actually Joseph. Father Joseph from St. Joseph's. That's funny. I didn't know about him much until last month when Mom and Dad decided to invite him over for the same thing they've called multiple other priests for — "fixing" me, since they've unfortunately caught on to my semi-regular nightly habit of leaving the house again. When we came to Earling, they expected me to finally behave. Of course, I didn't listen to them, they eventually found out, and now we're back to where we were before — talking to priests.

Naturally, I didn't really know about Father Joseph's presence in this town because Mom and Dad have given up on trying to force me to attend Sunday Mass with them, so they just go by themselves and allow their disappointment with me to fester as they sit in the uncomfortable wooden church pews.

What I was not expecting this priest to be was young, handsome (and very handsome at that), friendly, and funny. I'm obviously used to talking to judgmental old priests, but this one? No, I think he liked me immediately, obviously much to Mom and Dad's disappointment. I don't like priests. I don't like Catholics. I think that most of, if not all of them, are the same — judgmental puritans and prudes that tell you how to live your life according to their personal values. So, when I met Father Joseph, of course I was expecting him to be just like every single priest and Catholic I've met, so I was surprised when he told Mom and Dad to give us privacy to talk in peace. He was actually interested in who I am as a person. I'm used to being treated like a problem to be fixed, but this priest instead asked me about my interests, what I like to do, what brings me joy, and things like that. He wanted to know about me, not all the issues Mom and Dad claim I have. It was weird but flattering. Aren't priests supposed to try and fix supposedly "sinful" people? They're great at judging, much like most Catholics. I guess this one's just special.

If I were to tell my younger self that she'd fancy a priest one day, she'd probably laugh. But here I am. I've known this priest for a month now, and I can't believe that I genuinely wish he wasn't a priest. He's got all the qualities that I wish the stupid, scrawny boys here all had. He's tall and pretty and kind. He doesn't look at me frothing at the mouth with his tongue lolling out like a rabid dog. I know priests take a vow of celibacy, but I heavily doubt that this man's been celibate his whole life. He's got the face of a man who's known the touch of a woman. I like to wonder about what his life was like before he entered into the boring and miserable world of priesthood. I wish that I would've gotten to know him before he became a priest, but based on what he told me, that meant I would've been a teenager with a 36-year-old boyfriend.

As strange as it sounds, Father Joseph makes me feel lonely. I know that's obviously not what he wants, it's just that every time I'm around him, it's just a reminder of how I'll never find somebody like him around here. For as long as I can remember, I've longed to be held and loved by a beautiful, tall man who can tenderly make love to me, worship me, and adore me. I only fuck to make me feel less empty, only to feel empty afterwards. Father Joseph is one of the most decent men I've encountered, but he's a priest. That's how it's always been for me — the best men are the ones I can't have. Even in Chicago, I had no luck. I want a man, not a boy, and all the guys here are just boys and not men.

You know, maybe I'm overthinking it, but I'm mostly certain that Father Joseph flirts with me at times. It's his body language and the things he says. Perhaps I am overthinking it, because why would a fucking priest flirt with me? Everybody knows that priests never have families of their own, except for a special few cases, and I'm certain that Father Joseph would never be one of those special few cases.

Shit, this was much longer than I'd anticipated. Oh well. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to find a man one day who could be Father Joseph's long-lost secret secular brother, though I doubt he has one."

EARLING, IOWA – NOVEMBER 4TH, 1927

Well, this is quite a miserable place.

Those were Iris's first thoughts when she and her parents arrived in Earling. The population was less than 400. If she hadn't seen the sign for the city, Iris probably would've guessed that the amount of people who lived here was probably even less than 100. The place just looked so… desolate. It was hard to believe that it was a city rather than a village. It sure as hell didn't look like a city.

People live here?

There were the basic necessities, such as stores and a massive church Iris could see that wasn't too far away as well as other buildings. People's houses weren't anything too special, mostly small and single-story. It was almost like her parents were genuinely trying to isolate her from society by moving to such a dreary, barely-populated little town. Hell, she'd be lucky if she could even get a job here. She'd probably have better luck up in Harlan.

What is there to even do here?

The Newtons' new house was a little nicer than most of the ones she had seen, being a two-story one, situated in a neighborhood that seemed to be just as quiet as the city itself. The closest neighboring homes appeared to be uninhabited, which made the atmosphere feel quite… eerie. Iris didn't know what the hell it was, but something didn't feel right.

"Are you sure people live here?" she asked her mother, awkwardly looking around. "Don't think there's any signs of life over here."

A couple then drove past in a Model T, which only made her feel somewhat better.

"Well," Iris's mother sighed. "Maybe that's exactly what you need. Anything to keep you away from the many Godless scum roaming around and tainting the earth."

She was surprised that her parents were still convinced they could do something to "fix" her. After all these years, she figured that they would've given up by now. When she saw the giant church in the city, all she could think about was the multitudes of priests called upon her by her parents to "help" her.

Yeah, yeah. Sure, Mom. I'll behave.

If she had to go through any of that bullshit again, she'd go insane.

But she would not allow herself to be cooped up in a house with religious fanatics for parents.

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

Aziraphale's bibles

Have you ever noticed how many bibles Aziraphale has just lying about? So. Many. Bibles. Oodles of bibles! In S1 we only saw two, one on top of the desk that he used for checking the number of the beast in Revelations; and the other one on the desk surface, right behind his angel mug when he sat to read The Book (not that book, the other book, the one with the true prophecies).

In S2, we see no less than five bibles on his desk alone and more around the bookshop.

The first one is on the left, right under the little "For the Young: Hymns for Church and Home, with Forms of Services" book, which incidentally opens to: "So shall no wicked thing draw near, To do us harm or cause us fear." (This angel has no shame).

Then there are three more in the desk's middle compartments. One, with a green cover, is on the left slot, right above the tray with pens (this one is a New Testament only). The other two, both with black covers, are right behind the mug, where the RadioTimes watermark is. They look identical but they could be two volumes of the same edition or two different editions. We can probably assume one of these is supposed to be the one from S1. The desk in S1 didn't have compartments, it had drawers so there were no books in that area.

The last one is the on on top of the desk, on the right. This would be the same he used in S1 (although the bible itself is different)

On his right side, sometimes he has an easel where he displays a large book. This is not a bible itself, but an illustrated book of biblical motifs. Sometimes it is closed and sometimes it is open. He normally has it on the Adam and Eve page (cheeky!) but in Ep 2 he opened it to the Book of Job page instead.

There is yet another one in the shelf that Gabriel Jim is organizing

And there is one more in the first backroom (the one with the computer where he talks with Gabriel and Sandalphon). It is on a little table by the door of the private backroom (the one where he confers with Crowley in)

But there is a set of bibles that are even more important to him than any of the other ones. Although the show never mentioned it, the book tells us that in addition to his passion for prophecy books, he also loves and collects misprinted bibles*:

"And he had a complete set of the Infamous Bibles, individually named from errors in typesetting. These Bibles included the Unrighteous Bible, so called from a printer’s error which caused it to proclaim, in I Corinthians, “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall inherit the Kingdom of God?”; and the Wicked Bible, printed by Barker and Lucas in 1632, in which the word not was omitted from the seventh commandment, making it “Thou shalt commit Adultery.” There were the Discharge Bible, the Treacle Bible, the Standing Fishes Bible, the Charing Cross Bible and the rest. Aziraphale had them all. Even the very rarest, a Bible published in 1651 by the London publishing firm of Bilton and Scaggs."

This collection of bibles is hiding in plain sight and readily on hand. Just ask Jim!

The rest are right there on Aziraphale's desk. The tags are hard to read but I found, from right to left, The Treacle Bible, The Discharge Bible, The Unrighteous Bible, then three that I couldn't decipher, the Standing Fishes Bible and The Charing Cross Bible. One of those three is supposed to be the Buggre All This Bible, but none of the tags seemed to fit.

*All the bibles mentioned are real except for the Charing Cross Bible and the Buggre Alle This Bible which in the GO world was printed by Bilton and Scaggs, the publishing company that also printed The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch. I have a whole post about Bilton and Scaggs if interested. Now, looking back to S1, as part of his restoring the world, Adam replaced Aziraphale's misprinted bibles with Just William books. Let that sink in... Adam moved Aziraphale's bibles from their righteous place. No wonder Crowley realized it right away. These are Aziraphale's bibles for Go- for Sat- for Somebody's sake!

Fortunately by S2 everything was back to normal.

[gauloiseblue]

Asra Alnazar | Modern AU

[+18 | Adult Content MDNI]

A/N: sorry for the random ass post, but I miss soft romance AU, and he's the only comfort character that I know would fit into this. (it's a wonder what a half heart could do to a lady, huh?) Anyway, enjoy my take on him ^^

General

He might not realize it, but most of his clothes are women's clothes. For a reason that he find the texture softer, and more comfortable, compared to men's clothes

Like shirts, and the outerwears

He likes woman's shampoo (*cough* Diane) as well, because it makes his hair smoother, and smells good

He also wears skincare, but limits himself to moisturizer only. Because he once brought so many products, but he ended up not using them because they didn't fit his skin type. He had learnt his lesson

Books and poetry are his weak spots. He likes to read, and can never resist a novel with an interesting title

He treats Orpheus and Eurydice story like the Bible

Sometimes he writes, but he finds his poems terrible, so he never shares it to anyone

Surprisingly, he doesn't have any favorite movie. While he does like a few movies, there's none that touched him—to the point that it changes him as a person

People around him would debate over his pet preference, some would be so sure that he's a dog person, while the others were dead serious about him being a cat person.

(Imagine their surprise when they found out that he owned a ball python)

He prefers to cook his own food rather than buying take-out, except for the food that (1) took a long time to make, and (2) sourdough bread (or any kind of artisan breads, really)

Talking about preference, his favorite beverages are smoothies and wines. But for wine, he only likes them when they're sweet. If it's a red wine, he'd like them hot and spiced. For white wine, he prefers port wine. I can see him liking any sweet cocktail like Baileys, Sangria, or Margarita. He only indulges in alcohol every once in a while, but smoothies? Oh boy…

Contrary to people's belief, he doesn't listen to music that much. Even if he does, he's listen to instrumental music

He values his concentration a lot, and would do anything to keep himself focused. That's why he practices meditation, and he'd take some time to meditate, at least once a day.

I can see him as someone who owns a perfume shop, or a place for an art exhibition. And he won't have just one job either, he'll have many things on his plate that's relating to arts, fragrances, and wellness

When people ask him about his belief, he'd say that he believes everyone is responsible for their actions. He doesn't believe that God would meddle with people's affairs, and strongly believes in karma. He also believes in reincarnation, that's why he tries to not make enemies with anyone, because he doesn't want to deal with them again in the next life

While he doesn't necessarily believe in the personification of God, he believes in the existence of Deities, and he respects their existence as something beyond human knowledge

Which, in turns, makes him luckier somehow

(Maybe it's because Deities favor him, but who knows)

He's really bad at video games, mainly because he never takes it too seriously. But his friends would invite him to play, because he always makes them laugh

He also sings, very badly at karaoke, because he never listens to the songs

Despite of his easy-going nature, no one's really close to him. He's a private person, and wouldn't disclose anything about himself too much

But strangely, people would claim that they know him best, solely on the random facts that he had told them separately

(And it's always fun to watch them arguing about it)

Love/Relationship

Like I said earlier, he's easy-going, and that means he's easy to approach too. But that's it, that's what he'd ever be

He's approachable, but unavailable at the same time

And the reason for it, is because his idea for love is very complex. He couldn't love someone if they didn't connect on deeper level

In the past, he's not afraid to kiss anyone he found interesting, but as he grew up, he did it less and less, to the point of stopping

(Once, he got into an argument because the person he kissed believed that they had something, but he firmly stated that they're nothing. Which snowballed into a fight, and their relationship became a gossip for quite a while)

He never slept with anyone either, because he believes that sex is an exchange of energy, and he didn't want to give a 'part' of him to someone he didn't truly love

I think he's pretty much the embodiment of 'fell in love first × fell harder' trope

He wouldn't know his feelings before they hit him all at once

And when it happens, he won't know what to do, because it's very unfamiliar to him

He'd distance himself with the person he loved, while trying to make sense of his feelings. Does he really love them? Is it something that's genuine, or will it pass?

But once he found all of the answers, he's committing, hard

You won't see any hesitation from him when he confess to you

Would just marry you on the spot if he could

Of course, he'll take it slow at first, but he knows that there's no one else he wants more than you. So he'll work hard to make sure that you're happy with him

Having conversations with him hits different, because he knows you and your way of thinking. You'd say just one word, and he'd already know the whole sentence

On the fluff sides, I think he'll pretty much share things with you

He'll let you move in with him, and will let you use his things without complain

That includes his clothes and skincare

You'd be surprised to find that many of his clothes fit you perfectly. Because they are women's clothes after all

Would prefer to cook for you, but wouldn't mind taking you out for dinner either

Dating him consists of a lot of talking, a lot of kisses, and a lot of cuddles

If you need help, he won't hesitate to do it for you. He'd take care of you when you're sick, he'd pick you up despite of the distance and the time. Whenever you phoned him, you knew he'd pick up in an instant

(He knows it's not healthy, but he can't help it, his world revolves around you now)

You know the post where a man was at the party before he said he missed his gf and went home immediately? Yeah, that's him

If you wear lip balm/lip gloss, you'll find him staring at you, until you apply it to his lips as well

Since he takes good care of his hair, he'll do it to yours too. He'd buy the best products for your hair, and would take care of it twice a week, leaving your hair soft and healthy

In terms of social life, he'd pretty much introduce you to everyone he knows. Whether it's his family, or just friends

Speaking of his family, his parents already welcomed you long before you even met them. They both would exchange a meaningful look whenever their son talked about you. They trust his choice, and will give you both their support if needed

(Now that you've entered the picture, his parents won't stop talking about your relationship with him. They'd gossip like two bored wives in the lazy afternoon, about how he'd propose, or what the wedding would look like)

And Faust!! That little thing is pretty much your child now

When the two of you are cuddling, Faust will find a way to nestles between you and him

(He usually lets Faust out of his tank whenever he's alone, but he'd only do it once you're comfortable with it. Which you did, eventually. And that's an order)

You both pretty much behave like an old couple, and many of his friends point it out to you—mainly in the form of complains, because he's becoming more and more unavailable since you both started dating

But what can you say? It's not like you can escape from him either when he's clinging to you 24/7

NSFW

If you remember what I said earlier about his thought on sex, then you shouldn't be surprised when I told you he's a virgin

When the two of you had sex for the first time, he swallowed his pride and told you that he had no experience. But he made it up to you by giving you oral

While he lacked experience, he definitely knew about women's anatomy (because he secretly read it in women's discussion pages)

And he's an attentive lover, he'd be in tuned with your feelings, and how your body reacted when he did certain things

He only lasted one round the first time, for a reason that it took tremendous energy to keep him focused on pleasuring you. But now that he knows your body like the back of his hand, he won't hesitate to tire you out every time you both have sex

At the end of the sessions, he'd relish the afterglow as he kissed your shoulder tenderly

The feeling would persist, even days after the passionate night. You called it 'lover's bliss', but for him, it's the remnant of 'your energy'

Since he avoided porn like a plague, his view on sex is really different from other people, and that includes the kinks that he's into

Choking and slapping are barbaric to him, but he'd hold you in his arms really tight as he pounded into you from behind. He won't shout vulgar words at you, but he'll whisper unbelievably sweet, but dirty things that'll make you squirm. You won't be forced to pleasure him with your mouth, but he'll eat you out until you cry rapturous tears

While there's no definite correlation between fruits and sweeter cum, his taste is definitely sweet, or at least less bitter than normally. (Yea, I'm nasty, what about it)

About birth control, he won't let you take one, because he knows of the side effects. He'll use condoms instead, or have unprotected sex when it's your safe day

He's a vanilla, but he won't hesitate to make you pass out from overstimulation

Though he won't do it often, since he needs to have the energy to wake up the next day

Trivia

His MBTI type is INFJ

He wears 3 rings—2 on his left hand, and 1 on his right hand—and one of them is actually your engagement ring. He just hasn't give it to you