#none of these were eaten

[chuthulhu-reads]

[ID: Two panels from Dungeon Meshi. The first scows Senshi clutching his face as tears start to spill out of his eyes, saying, "I've always... always wanted to have this soup one more time." He's not wearing his helmet in this panel, so his face is unusually visible, detailed and vulnerable. The second panel shows himself as a youngster, surrounded by his old mining team, all smiling at each other, one of them rubbing Senshi's head. Modern-day Senshi continues, "Thank you. All of you. Thank you." End ID.]

Holy shit. I anticipated some tragic backstory from the "I must feed the young ones" panels, but what I'd guessed was that Senshi might have become so devoted to cooking and eating literally whatever because he'd previously survived a famine and had seen children starve to death. I did not expect him to have been the child who was the sole survivor of a doomed travel party, one of whom was determined to feed Senshi first because he was the youngest, and that Senshi has lived with the fear of having inadvertently committed cannibalism by eating stew that he'd never quite known the contents of. I'm happy for him that Laios deduced and confirmed for him that it was griffin meat, that he was able to taste the meal that saved his life once more and remember the friends he lost. Seriously, I'm crying, and also earnestly relieved that while his backstory is pretty dark, it's not the type of fucked up I'd been preparing myself mentally for.

[queeringclassiclit]

Philip Lombard

from And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

submitted by anon

[ineffablejaymee]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE

THIS IS THE OG NOVEL REFERENCE

SHE READ IT IN THE BOOK

COOL

[constantvariations]

A trend in Astarion fics that I find bizarre is the idea that he's never been treated gently during sex. This is difficult to believe for one simple reason: some of Astarion's victims were virgins.

Astarion: You were handsome. Shy. You'd never been kissed. Sebastian: You taught me how. And then you destroyed me.

I get the desire to make his current partner special by having their sex be good and wholesome in comparison to his other trysts, but this is a flawed sentiment. The cutscene of that first night together is incredibly tender from the kiss to laying on the grass - the only outlier being if you offer your neck - and if you sleep with Astarion but keep it at that night, Astarion himself says he will never forget you. Not because the PC was uniquely gentle with him in bed, but because they were the first person he ever slept with of his own free will. It's his choice that makes that night special to him moreso than anything the PC may or may not have done during that time.

[werebutch]

Idk what it’s gonna take for either my sisters to grow up and realize they’re not going to be parented OR my dad to realize that he needs to help out in his own house besides eating the food I cook and sleeping on the couch

[rainbow-unicornosaur]

._.

[soyboywenzie]

for all the parroting about loving evil characters and wishing they were worse and hating the morality argument, team green does not like the fact that their favs aren’t well liked, nor cared about that much 😗

[mairen-marionette]

test to see if the pictures are side-by-side, and also to like, have two unused tftsmp characters wo I talk about sometimes back on the dash again lol.

[swagging-back-to]

literally no one gives a shit if you failed at being vegan and dont understand nutrition at all. you are not special youre like every other failed vegan in existence, the exact same sob story

[somethingaboutnoodles]

only americans are real people. a not american picked foods that, yes are historically black and historically poor people food, that has been modified into comfort food, but, I need to point out, ARE STILL WEIRD if you haven't grown up with them, same as LITERALLY ALL OTHER COUNTRIES AND FOOD TRADITIONS ON EARTH. americans are having a fucking shitfit about it, as if americans don't immediately reach for poor people food and ethnic minority foods when making fun of other people's food traditions. it's fine when you fuckers replicate classism at people living in a society where class is real and tangible in ways you guys don't even understand that's just a joke bro calm down, but god forbid anyone do it back at you. get over youselves, if you gonna dish you gotta take it.

I'm well aware of classism in England, since it's one of the primary reasons my dad moved to the US and had me, a dual citizen who is uniquely positioned to see through your complete and utter bullshit.

Classism and racism exist in both countries. Stop acting like Americans, who live under greater wealth inequality than Brits do and in the country with the most billionaires, don't know what classism is. Stop acting like Brits don't know what anti-Black racism is when Black people are the third-most impoverished ethnic group in the UK and are so marginalised the UN filed a report on it in January.

Making fun of beans on toast is not the same as making fun of grits. Both sustain people through poverty, but only one sustained enslaved people through being bought and sold like livestock.

I did not expect the OP to know that when they made the post because I do not expect people to know everything about American culture or history. But you (and the OP) should have backed off once people tried to educate you about the importance of many of the foods on the list. My 80-year-old English grandmother would tell you the same.

Sending me a pissy ask like this tells me everything I need to know about you. Your behavior has nothing to do with your country of origin.

You're just a racist twat.

[maria-eve-falcon]

let me hurt us

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.

But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.

None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?

And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.

Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.

A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.

[lenny-zesty]

we didn’t even celebrate her last gotcha day. why didn’t we do that. I don’t want this to be the last one. I thought I would get so much longer with her. why can’t I stop catastrophizing. what if she’s gonna be okay. what if I didn’t have to think about this.

[ozzgin]

Content: gender neutral reader, monster smut, NSFW!

I’m harping on that arranged marriage trope again, but imagine being kidnapped as a spouse for a monstrous demon lord who has a thing for humans. You’re not the first attempt, but the household servants have truly lost count on how many humans crossed their threshold. Some ran away, some were eaten alive: none of the poor, frail mortals could handle the grotesque creature and his equally terrifying temper.

They guide you to the sleeping chambers with a pitiful gaze. They expect to pick up your scattered body tomorrow morning and scrub the dried blood off the floors.

What no one took into consideration was that you’re a shameless monster fucker. One glance at the beastly husband, and you fumble to remove your clothes with trembling hands. This is going to be good, you tell yourself, face flushed in obvious arousal. His unholy majesty certainly didn’t expect you’d hop straight on his dick, no questions asked. Not that he’s complaining much; on the contrary, it takes mere seconds for him to become completely feral.

The next day, you peacefully sip on your tea, pretending not to notice the baffled stares of the servants. If that wasn’t shocking enough, their master walks in with a genuine smile on his face.

Who would’ve thought, all he needed was a good fuck.

[More Monsters] | [Part 2]

[redrreign]

really mad that someone on my street is cooking a delicious fragrant meal that the scent of is blown into my room through the open window. we havent been to the grocery store in like a month there is no delicious meal here. stop taunting meeeeeee

[beeseverywhen]

Well. Dinner time was exhausting. This child finds a problem with every single thing I cook!!! Staying calm in the face of a tantrum is...probably a lot easier than my parents ever made out lol I don't really feel the need to shout back but by god is it draining. I just want to go to sleep