#non-evidence based practice

[helthcareproducts]

Balmorex: A Respite for Back & Joint Pain

[help-itrappedmyself]

Dead on Main short part 2

This was not supposed to be this long. It just kept getting longer, just kept going. I found a cut-off point eventually, but there may actually be a part 3 to what was supposed to be a very short little piece. Whoops. (part 1)

Jason never had the time to be concerned about his words when he was young. Neither did anyone else around him. His dad couldn’t be bothered with anything to do with him, and Jason would have been surprised if Willis actually knew what his words were. His mother was more confused by them then anything else, and even then that was only in her rarer sober moments.

Then Jason moved in with Bruce. Dick wasn’t around much when he lived in the Manor. He had just started tolerating him when Jason had died. Dick probably knew what the words were, but they had never discussed it with each other, and Jason couldn’t begin to guess what his opinion was on them back then. 

Bruce used to entertain his fantasies of trying to think up different scenarios his words could be said in, both of them trying to make the funniest good outcome. It became a game they played when bored on stakeouts, obviously keeping the contents of the words private while playing. To be fair, there were a lot of good and funny scenarios. But they lived in Gotham, and Jason had experienced enough of the world, even at that young age, that he understood the likeliness of a bad scenario.

And then he died. And he didn’t think about his words for a very long time. Too busy training and plotting. Busy coming back to Gotham, enacting his plans and building a criminal empire. He barely remembered them himself until he was back in Gotham, operating as the Red Hood, with a trail of bodies behind him.

Assassin training, heads in a duffel bag, counts of arson, and leader of a gang, Jason was not the same kid he used to be. There were few scenarios in which his words could be said that he couldn’t come to understand. And he was at a point in his life where he could find room for a soulmate again. He was settled, secure as the anti-hero of Crime Alley, tenuous agreement with the Bats and all. He had even been by the Manor to have tea with Alfred. 

Arkham breakouts were old hat to everyone in Gotham. Citizens bunkering down, and Bats readying themselves to round up whoever made it out this time. However, this was the first Arkham breakout since his plan with Bruce and the Joker failed. The first since his agreement with the Bats to use non-lethal means. When Jason heard that it was the Joker that had broken out, he planned to kill him, truce be damned.

The Bats could probably deduce that, it was too soon into the truce for any real change to have been made. And this was the Joker. So now it was a race to see who could get to him first. 

Luckily (in this instance), Jason’s base is much closer to Arkham than the Bats. So while they are all stuck driving in from the better parts of town, Jason is already chasing the Joker down alleys. 

Joker is laughing, practically skipping away as if this is a game, and Jason almost loses him as he turns a corner he didn’t see. Jason can hear the Joker laughing, starting to speak. Probably to taunt him again. Then the sound cuts off with a choke and a thud.

Jason turns the corner to see Joker laid out flat, nose bleeding and neck at a funny ankle. A choked breath escapes him, and he looks around to see a man leaning against the alley wall.

The man’s hands are shaking, breaths choppy, and there's a bit of blood on his right hand.

Jason takes a deep breath, which causes the man to look at him out of the corner of his eye. Jason takes in the scene again. And then again, hardly daring to hope even with the evidence in front of him. 

“Is he dead?” Jason asks softly. The man turns to face him, and Jason takes a glove off and slowly, hesitantly, checks the Joker’s pulse.

“Look, in my defense…” The man trails off, looking to the heavens for a moment. “I really fucking hate clowns.” 

Jason, hope fully settled in as the Joker remains still and lifeless on the ground, pulse non-existent against his fingertips, almost laughs. Then his brain does a record scratch. Rewind. Replays the words ‘Look, in my defense’ over again, head shooting up to look at the man who just killed the Joker. 

Jason takes his other glove off, standing. He takes a step towards the man, pushing up his sleeve. The man seems nervous at his advance, watching him warily until Jason uncovers the words on his arm. The cover falls to the ground behind him as he takes another step forward. 

The man’s eyes light up in realization, and he also rushes to push up his sleeve. One more step forward and they are right in front of each other. Arms held up, brushing together as they show each other their marks.

Left forearms pressed together in the space in front of them, one reading ‘Is he dead?’ and the other “Look, in my defense.’. 

The man laughs and Jason takes in the sound of it, the happiness in his eyes as he looks up at him. Jason slowly reaches up to remove his helmet, domino still on underneath it, and lets it fall to the alley floor as well.

“You’re amazing.” Jason breaths out, hand reaching up to cup the stranger’s, his soulmate’s cheek. “You have no idea what you’ve just done for me.”

“Little bit of manslaughter.” He laughs. “Didn’t think it would be received this well.”

Jason smiles in response. “I would worship you for this, if you’d let me. I will never stop thanking you.” 

“Oh.” The man gasps, breath hitching. Jason, one hand still on his cheek, thumb stroking underneath his eye, places his other hand on the man’s waist and backs him up to the alley wall. Deliberately slowly, watching the man as he takes a deep breath, licks his lips, and lets himself be moved.

“Tell me your name and I’ll start right now.” Jason whispers.

“Danny.” The word is breathy and low, only heard due to Jason’s close proximity. 

“Danny.” Jason repeats his name like an anthem and a prayer. Prepared to give his life for this man already. And then kisses him, pressing his lips to his softly, reverently. Wanting to hold this moment forever.

[brucewaynehater101]

About Tim's kill count: I think Tim tries really hard to be okay with murder. He's accepted that's something other vigilantes do, that sometimes it's the most practical answer. He knows that self defense is a thing, when it's you or them... Well, no one can be blamed for choosing themselves over a villain. He is the smart, logical Robin. He can be rational about murder. Stars know someone has to, and B is too much of an emotional mess when it comes to that particular subject.

So when Tim has to blow up Ra's bases, he tries really hard to be okay with it. He gave them a three minute warning (it's not much, but he knows how fast they are), so technically it's not like it's his fault if they decided to stay. He had to do it, it wasn't even just self defense, he had a civilian hostage to take into account. It was the only logical solution that allowed him to save Batman too. So yeah, he knows his reasoning was completely sound despite the circumstances. Honestly, he deserves Kudos for not losing it considering the amount of stress he was under and the fact he nearly died and lost an organ.

So yeah, he is pretty sure he's okay with it. He knows that if Batman ever truly catches up un his RR reports of that time he's not gonna be happy. He figures he can deal with that (he can't, he can barely deal with his own guilt. Deep down he knows he'll collapse like a wet napkin).

But instead of Batman the one to confront him is Jason having heard from Talia or finding the evidence on an outlaws' mission. And Tim is relieved because this should be easy. Not only is he a master manipulator: Jason is okay with murder, extremely emotional and still feels guilty about Titan's Tower. He's not even on talking terms with B. Tim has the upper hand in this encounter.

Cue to Jason's pov and it's just so painfully obviously that Tim is trying to rationalize the guilt away. Jason doesn't know whether to acknowledge it (the kid looks like he needs to actually talk about it, sue him) or to let him be delusional for a bit longer. He isn't the biggest expert on healthy but that doesn't look like it.

Tim succeeds in getting him to promise he won't tattle to Bruce, and is really proud of himself for handling the situation. Jason is now panicking thinking about what would Bruce do if he finds out (Tim doesn't know the extent of Batman's reaction to Jason killing at first).

(I got a little carried away with the idea of Tim being convinces he's okay with murder and Jason, who is pro murder for certain people, seeing right through him like "Oh honey")

Oh!!! I've seen some fics that cover what would happen if the Bats found out about Tim's kill count or the bases, but I haven't really seen ones with dark/abusive Bruce.

Tw: abuse, murder

Here's what I'm thinking:

Jason is fantastic for being the first to find out. He'd be supportive, understanding, and non-judgemental. He'll have no moral issues with murder. Perhaps he could have some mental breakdowns on the fact his younger brother had to resort to that or the high number of deaths or that someone younger than him had to stain their hands (which could also lead into him finally processing Damian's kills as well), but he wouldn't have any issues with Tim commiting murder.

Then we contrast that with Dick. He doesn't blame Tim. He's fiercely protective of his brother and will beat up anyone who gives Tim shit for it. On the other hand, he does have moral issues with murder. He'd probably have an internal debate with himself. He wants to support Tim, but the kid killed so many people (in this AU). Tim killed in self-defense. Dick has a particular understanding due to his time as a cop, but his vigilante rules have always contrasted with his cop ones (not just killing. Breaking laws, how civilians are treated, who your "allies" are, and whether you can trust your coworkers to do what's right). He's devastated that Tim was in that position and blames himself (maybe even takes those deaths upon his own moral conscience).

Both of them love, care, and support Tim in this. They also have very different ideas about murder.

Tim is also trying very hard to deny to himself how much death is actually on his hands. He's struggling to pretend he's fine and trying to logically convince himself that the deaths are acceptable.

In this AU, Bruce obviously flips the fuck out and acts like a piece of shit. Feel free to hc how far he takes that shit.

However, this has important ramifications against Damian. Whatever his feelings are about Tim at this point, watching his father abuse a kid he adopted (and considers his own) for the sin of killing? For self-defense? What if Damian ever kills again? Would Bruce react the same? What if there was no other choice? Also, does this mean that his father will never truly love him? Will his past always be held over Damian's head? Will Bruce ever forgive him? Is his father's love conditional? To add on, Damian has complicated feelings about LoA as well. He'd need to process the extreme destruction Tim enacted against the LoA. Just Damian having mental breakdowns.

Cass's confliction with murder and her love for Tim could also be added into this. I don't know much about the arc where she becomes a villain, but that would add to her turmoil.

Now, Alfred is a confusing one. How dedicated is he to Bruce? Is this the characterization where he sasses the man, not so subtly hides his guns around the Manor, and will stand up to the man? Or is this the one who will follow Bruce's lead even if it means psychologically torturing his grandkid? Is he somehow both at the same time? Can the kids trust Alfred to protect them or choose them over Bruce?

Babs would be protecting Tim (and the others in their support of Tim) to the best of her ability. In my mind, she's chill about murder due to her dad being a cop and her working with murderers (like Harley). She'd run interference to protect Tim until Bruce finds out, and then she'd be trying to get him away from Bruce.

Anyways, I'd love to see all of the characters, their feelings/experiences, and the conflict expanded on.

[thefixations-ofmine]

Bubbling love

Bucktommy | 505 | Fluff

Fluffebruary Prompt: Non-sexual intimacy This is based of this drawing by @118plus

Main Masterlist | Fluffebruary Masterlist | AO3

Tommy walks in and settles his duffle silently onto the ground before ridding himself of his wet hoodie. He can’t help the discomfort grunt that escapes his lips when the layers under come peeling off in turn. He settles his clothes onto the kitchen island to be washed after a good ten-hour nap, and he makes his way up to the loft, butt naked.

Tommy bends down to kiss Evan on the temple before digging into the bedside table for his spare pair of glasses. When he stretches back up, he comes eye to eye with his waking boyfriend.

“Hey, baby,” Tommy greets. Evan clears his throat.

“Tommy,” Evan says his name with a pleasant surprise. “You’re off?”

“Yeah, I gave them a few extra hours of my precious time, but they wrung me out!” Tommy reaches for a longer kiss this time. He hums peacefully. “Gonna go take a quick bath. I’ll come cuddle, I promise.” Tommy walks towards the bathroom and Evan whistles behind him. Tommy slaps his right cheek with a quick look back. He wiggles his brows but disappears into the room, without another word.

An extra perk of Evan’s fancy loft is how quick the warm water catches up and keeps Tommy from shivering as he sits on the cold porcelain. Tommy dips his toes in and practically moans appreciatively. He sits slowly, feeling every achy muscles in his arm scream as they handle his weight.

The water is only hip deep but it soothes him and if Tommy wants to pop the question and have Evan move in with him, he knows he’ll have to fix his cracked tub or he’s going to have to rent hotel rooms for a night of relaxation.

“No bubbles?” Evan startles him but Tommy settles quickly at the sight of his naked boyfriend at the door, and maybe the way his body is also happy to see him, but Tommy has to push those thoughts away for a couple hours.

“Well, I meant to make it quick. Only needed the scalding warmth.”

Evan walks forward and squats to touch the water. He exaggerates a hiss and laughs. Seconds later, he’s walking to the back of the bath and asks Tommy to clear a bit of room for him, which is very easy to do in theory, but the two of them occupy a lot of square volume. Nonetheless, Tommy hums when Evan reaches his arms around his torso and he can’t help but chuckle when he opens his eyes to a bath full of bubbles. The eucalyptus smell isn’t so bad either.

“You know I appreciate you so much, right?”

“I have my doubts,” Evan answers, his grin evident in his tone.

“Well, here’s me saying it anyway.” Tommy lets his head lull back onto Evan’s shoulder and Evan props a handful of bubbles onto his hair, before playfully blowing it away. The laughs come easy even through the shared yawns, and slowly the extra hours Tommy endured fade away into the drain.

@bucktommyfluffebruary

Thank you for reading. Let me know if you would like to be tagged.

[vulptalia]

re: ur last post with the videos, i’d very much be interested to hear more on ur thoughts abt alfred and arthur’s relationship — the good and the bad — when alfred was growing up if you feel like sharing!

Anon, I could speak for hours on this (under the cut)

I’ll start with a blanket disclaimer that this is all my head cannon based loosely on real history and personal preference, and very very sparingly based on the actual Hetalia Cannon. Oh also TW for verbal/physical abuse.

The Nation personas, as I see them, are human-adjacent manifestations of a society under one sovereign nation. This is very open ended, I have no specifics on what quantifies when a persona is “born,” but nonetheless as far as humans are concerned: they know of these personas and have their own complicated relationships with them.

In blanket terms I think these personas were often deified by their cultures prior to the renaissance. Personas like Ancient Rome, or China, or even Japan were probably seen as immortal gods for long periods of their nations’ history. I’m no theologian so I can’t speak to how their existence would influence real life religions of the time, so for the most part I just say they go hand in hand. But nonetheless, to put it simply, the personas have always been seen as others. As I mentioned they are (practically) immortal, and age at an indiscriminate rate (more or less related to the existence of their nation), so pretty non-human in that regard.

I head cannon that Arthur was born in the Dark Ages, perhaps late-800CE. Because of Christian beliefs of the time he had multiple attempts on his life as a baby, as he grew slowly compared to other new-borns, and (evidently) couldn’t be killed. Eventually left in the woods to die, Arthur managed to survive, and grow, and spent decades away from people to avoid violence against him. However, come the establishment of a unified England under Athelstan (? Forgive my English history knowledge) and the establishment of other nations in Europe around the same time, with their own personas (HRE), the English began searching for their nation’s persona and Arthur revealed himself. He was around 200 years old at this point but physical appearance wise he was probably 12-14.

From there on out Arthur was an established figure of the monarchy and lead, (for the most part) a very luxurious life as the English established themselves as a hegemony in Europe. Ofc there’s things like the Hundred Years War, etc, but at this time I think Arthur was becoming very adjacent to his people; power hungry. He enjoyed the life of conquest and empire. Come the age of New World exploration and the knowledge of native tribes along side English and Spanish colonies in the Americas, Arthur most likely advised the English that another persona was likely born, and should be found as part of the race to claim North America.

I head cannon that Alfred was born in the Roanoke Colony (I found this fic shares the same interpretation and I love that!!! <3), and come whatever happened to the Roanoke settlers, Alfred was taken in by a local Native American tribe. I’ve done some research into local tribes during the time period but, in wanting to respect culture and get my facts right, I haven’t settled on a particular tribe or nation. Though I lean towards the Paspahegh. Alfred was of course a unique baby as well, taking years to grow into a toddler, however in alignment of Powhatan beliefs, I believe the Paspahegh would’ve seen Alfred as more akin to an offering: an example of healthy land, a healthy child. This to say, they had no interest in harming him and were not dissuaded by his slow aging.

Of course, as history would go: following the settlement of Jamestown and the Paspahegh Massacre, Alfred was given directly to Arthur (at his request) to raise and tend to. Alfred would be around 20 but physically he was 4, maybe 5. He doesn’t really remember the Massacre, and Arthur doesn’t talk about it.

Initially in the conquest for the New World I believe Arthur was very head strong and goal oriented, but actually meeting Alfred changed that for him. He had of course planned to raise this child for the sake of the English empire (a loyal colony), however he didn’t anticipate actually caring for him. Arthur falls for him hard and having Alfred actually causes him a great deal of anxiety. He fears Alfred will be attacked by people like he was, and he fears what the future holds for him. At this point in history Arthur had seen hundreds of battles, had fought in bloody, brutal wars, and worst of all had seen what people were capable of doing to things they feared. So, Arthur has a house built outside of Jamestown for him and Alfred, and he begins to raise him in solitude.

He’s strict, and of course very English. Alfred is raised in silks and taught piano with a private English education. He’s not allowed to leave the property and he certainly isn’t allowed to speak to anyone who isn’t Arthur, or the rotating house staff. However, Alfred is lively, and very American. He wants to play in the dirt, he wants to be anything but sheltered. From just the first few years together this sparked Arthur’s harsh parenting (to put it simply).

Think, aristocratic. Children should be seen, not heard. Slouching at the table got a slap on the wrist, dirtied clothes? A harsh lecture. “You should be grateful.” Alfred would misbehave, Arthur would yell.

Arthur was often called back to England, and thus spent months, if not years away from Alfred. During these trips Alfred learned to sneak out, and met Davie. I’ve mentioned this “rotating house staff,” who are obviously human, who serve for a time and then change their post (aka return to England). As my “cannon” goes Alfred grew from ages 4/5-16/17 from 1607 to 1770: meaning he grew about 11 years over the span of ~170 years. This to say Alfred was around different humans, though they were all trained royal staff, aka not personable. They guarded the land, fed Alfred, taught him his lessons, but never stayed longer than 3-4 years before being replaced; to a child living life-times longer than them, those few years might as well be a matter of minutes. So, growing bored and antsy whilst Arthur is away, Alfred escapes the confines of his home and meets colonists. The first human Alfred actually got to meet and speak to on his own, as far as I’m concerned, is Davie.

He visited Davie throughout his life, so presumably at least 50 years of watching what would one day be his nation, begin to flourish. Being "America" he probably not only felt a kinship with the colonists he met and observed, but also longed to be living with them and quickly grew tired of his English life-style, and the selfish rules Arthur imposed on him. I can't recall what the show states is cannon, but I don't think Alfred ever tells Arthur about Davie (at least, not while he's young). When Arthur returns from trips abroad Alfred acts as if he never left the house, and the staff don't snitch out of fear of capital punishment(lol). Instead Alfred spends years attempting to gain his own freedom from under Arthur's strict control of his life, attempting to persuade and getting in numerous arguments. He insists the world is not as horrid as Arthur states, and Arthur doesn't buy it for a second. Under duress of the Seven Years War their relationship fractures even more, and conveniently at the same time the American people are beginning to dread colonial rule.

In his own personal act of rebellion against Arthur, and as a final straw (running away from home) Alfred sought a seat at the First Continental Congress, solidifying himself in alignment with the American people, and revealing himself publicly as the nation’s persona. (Educated folk of the time most likely knew of Alfred’s existence but probably hadn’t considered him a contender this early in the revolution). From there of course, independence in declared, the nations go to war. As they say; the rest is history.

TLDR?;

Alfred was the first chance of a normal, human life Arthur had ever been given. He loved him, he loves him, more than anything but he didn't know how to care for him in a way that wouldn't smother him. Arthur had an ideal version of Alfred and Alfred's life in his mind and he would do anything to make that vision an reality, even if it meant ignoring Alfred's wants, even if it meant yelling at him, or hitting him. However, Alfred couldn't know this, he was a child, he loved Arthur, he loves him still, but he resented him for forcing him into a life he never asked for, and punishing him whenever he rebelled against it. The Revolution is the first of many small steps in mending their relationship, and it takes literal centuries of growth on both their parts until Arthur is willing to admit wrong doing and Alfred is willing to forgive.

[amuyyi]

How Sweet .

synopsis: you somehow find yourself in Vietnam with your best friend Hanni, and the heavy southeast asian heat leaves hanni to her own devices... trope: non-idol!hanni x non-idol!f!reader, best friends to lovers, summer vacation, high school seniors, fluff

wc: 3.9k

cw: none

a/n: hello hello! this is my first fanfic in a long long time, and ive never shared on tumblr before.. but i love hanni's fuckass bob ! please let me know what you guys think, im bit rusty in terms of writing ^^'

-------------------

“So… What do you think?”

You stare at your best friend, mouth agape in complete and utter shock as Hanni stood in front of you. With a sheepish expression on her face, your eyes glaze over the silver blades within Hanni’s left hand as she holds a long lock of her naturally jet black air within her right. As your eyes travel upwards, you’re met with a rather uneven, extremely choppy bob planted on the top of your friend’s head alongside some hastily cut bangs. You would’ve thought it was a poorly done wig if she wasn't already holding evidence of her own wrongdoing within her hands. There's an uncomfortable silence that passes between the two of you as you simply stare, your jaw practically threatening to fall off of the base of your skull as you could see the other girl’s eye twitching ever so slightly in response to your silence. 

“Can you please say something?! It's not that bad I swear!” The vietnamese girl whines out, spinning on her heel and making her way back towards the bathroom where she had initially emerged. With Hanni no longer in your line of sight, you snap out of your daze, shaking your head as your brows knit together in confusion, just now beginning to fully process what you had just seen. You practically fall out of your seat on the couch as you scramble to your feet, following after the other girl as you call out, “wait, wait, what?! When did you do that???”

Hanni had made plans for the summer to visit her family back in Vietnam, and had graciously extended an offer for you to join. Excited and albeit a bit nervous, you instantly agreed, having been meaning to make some fun summer plans between the two of you for a while now. Your best friend’s family was sweet, having met her grandmother alongside a few aunts, uncles, and multiple younger cousins who were all pleased to meet your acquaintance. 

Despite the lovely first day of introductions and adjusting to the horrible jet lag you two experienced once landing, you soon learned that summers in Vietnam were, for lack of a better word, brutal. For the entirety of Southeast Asia, the heat during these months were ruthless, practically leaving everyone in sight panting, sweating, and doing anything possible in order to relieve themselves from the scorching sun– and the humidity. Oh, the humidity. The air felt thick and heavy in a way you’ve never experienced before. It almost felt hard to breathe sometimes because everything around you just felt so… sticky. How did Vietnam manage to make even a supposed nice summer breeze feel hot? Hanni had conveniently managed to not mention the intensity of the weather at the time, and as a result, left you two practically melting into the couch, marinating within your own sweat as Hanni’s grandmother left the two of you home alone for the day.

You practically break down the door to the bathroom to find a distressed Hanni increasingly becoming more panicked the longer she looks at her reflection.  “My Ba used to always cut my hair like this whenever I visited over the summer, I thought it’d be easy to replicate!” Hanni exclaims, staring herself down within the mirror as she tries to assess the damage that has been done at every angle possible. Honestly, the whole situation was almost too good. Almost like a scene from a sitcom or something.

Fighting back a snort, you smirk teasingly, “has she always made it so uneven?” Your unsolicited comment left Hanni clicking her tongue in offense, raising her hand holding the scissors threatening to hit you before shifting her gaze back towards the mirror, letting out a distressed groan in defeat. “I don’t even know what came over me, y/n. I think this unbearable heat actually fried my brain,” she runs her free hand through her hair, some poorly cut strands falling out as she winces, “I don’t know! I don’t know! My Ba made it look so easy!” You watch as her eyes dart around, not talking to anyone in particular as the panic seemingly begins to take over, “I can fix it though! If i just cut–”

“Nope.” You firmly grab Hanni’s wrist as she begins to lift the scissors back up towards her hair, cutting her words short as you wrestle the blades out of her grip. “Y/n–” she starts, “Hanni.” You begin, your voice a tone that is similar to that of an owner telling a dog to sit, eyebrows raised and head cocked to the side as you lock eyes with your friend. She silently stares back, mouth open as if to retort, but it soon closes as she sighs, sitting down on a nearby stool in defeat as you also let out a breath you didnt you know you were holding. At least she didn't have free reign over the scissors. 

“Now let me see what I can do about… this,” You hum, dragging the stool closer to where you stood as you get a better look at Hanni’s hair. The scissors she used were very obviously not haircutting scissors, but you doubted she had anything better on hand. Alongside that, she somehow managed to cut drastically uneven halves of her hair, and it was obvious the cuts on both the left and right side were not a clean process, leaving multiple bluntly chopped bits all within her hair. As for the bangs, thankfully she didn’t cut them too short, actually leaving a lot of hair left to work with. Knowing Hanni, she was probably too scared to commit to the act after seeing what she did to the rest of her hair. Now, you were no hair cutting expert, but anyone with eyes could see what needed to be done in order to fix this mess. Hanni awkwardly avoids eye contact seemingly out of embarrassment as you examine her, eyes looking practically anywhere but within yours as you contemplate your next steps, her cheeks faintly dusted a light shade of pink. You raise the scissors and start off by trying to even out both sides of her hair, the quiet snipping sounds filling the bathroom as Hanni sits up as straight as she can, hands placed a bit too formally on her lap. 

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” 

“Apparently more than you.”

“That's not very comforting.”

“I can always leave your hair like this.”

“Don’t you dare, y/n.” 

Soft, lighthearted giggles erupt from the bathroom as the banter between you two continues. Even in a situation like this, you and Hanni always managed to make each other smile– It's what drew you two to each other. You recall the day you two first met. Through some common friends or the other, somehow you ended up at a picnic within the local park, Hanni being one of the first to arrive. She had brought a container full of fruit to share, and practically dominated the conversation with her cheery attitude– but not in a suffocating kind of way. She somehow managed to know everyone who arrived and they all seemed to naturally flock towards the girl. You were no different than the people she attracted, but you were lucky enough to have her full attention the whole day, her large round eyes attentive and focused on you as you told stories and cracked with everyone. Ever since then, the two of you have been practically inseparable. Always waiting for each other after classes and somehow ending up in comical situations such as this.

After a few more snips of the scissors, you take a step back, taking in your work as Hanni’s eyes flutter open, blinking a bit as she stands up. She approaches the mirror, eyes lighting up as she sees the result. Thanks to your handiwork, her hair had ended up in a lovely dark layered bob with straight across bangs that actually looked intentional. It was a bit shorter than your liking, having the ends land just above her chin, but the other girl didn’t give you much to work with.

“Wow, this actually looks… really good.” Hanni spoke, her voice laced with awe as she continued to admire her reflection, “I kind of look like Mathilda! Y'know, from that kid assassin movie or whatever?” She comments, looking back at you expectantly as you pretend to think for a moment.

“Ah.. That's unfortunate, I was really trying to go for an Edna Mode kind of look… Maybe a bowl cut…” You trail off, feigning regret as you twirl the scissors in your hand, eliciting a snort from Hanni, punching you in the shoulder as you let out a laugh. 

The other girl doesn’t hesitate to pull you into a hug though, even through all of the laughter, and you tense up for only a moment before melting into her touch, your arms wrapping around her waist as her arms snake comfortably around your neck. The light smell of flowers emerges from the embrace, unintentionally causing you to sigh with pleasure as you can feel the vibrations of Hanni giggling into your neck in response. The feeling left your stomach fluttering with butterflies for some reason. Hanni had always smelt really nice, but this time it was a little different– a little more fresh? Maybe the tropical air was doing something to her. 

“Thank you,” you hear her whisper into your ear gently, and you could feel your cheeks warm at the praise as you pull back shyly tucking a strand of your own hair behind your ear as you shrug, “It really was no big deal,” You trail off as Hanni’s gaze shifts back onto her reflection. “Still, I wasn't expecting it to be so… Short.”

You arch a brow at her as you bluntly state, “Well you didn't give me a whole lot of leeway with your little scissor-happy act over there,” which rewarded you with another punch on the shoulder and a tongue stuck out in a childish manner from the short haired girl.

As the two of you exit the bathroom, Hanni lets out a relieved sigh, “aaah, that feels SO much better!” She cooes, stretching her arms and shaking her head, letting her short hair fly as she grins. You also smile at the sight of your friend so happy, but let out a tired breath shortly after. “Well I’m glad you like it, but it's still hot as hell in here.”

An imaginary lightbulb goes off within Hanni’s head as a grin forms on her lips. “I know a place, c’mon,” Hanni grabs your arm, guiding you outside as you immediately get hit with a wave of heat and a flash of light. Squinting, you use your free arm to try and shield your eyes from the sun above, “Do we HAVE to be outside?” You whine, feeling beads of sweat forming on your forehead almost instantaneously as you’re guided to a rather charming looking vespa parked nearby. It was pastel yellow in color, and had some stickers plastered on the side. You watch in awe as the other girl hops on it with confidence, taking a pair of keys out of her pocket as she pats the free seat behind her, “do you HAVE to keep complaining and not trust me?” 

You are once again brought back to a dumbfounded state as you slowly approach the vespa, admiring its quality and state before your eyes go back to Hanni, “Can you actually drive this thing? You never told me!” An almost cartoonish glimmer shines within her eyes as she winks, pressing a finger to her lips as she playfully grins, “There's a lot you don’t know about me, y/n.”

Very hesitantly, you slowly make your way onto the back seat of the vespa, awkwardly sitting as a brief second of silence passes. Hanni rolls her eyes, chuckling lightheartedly at your uncertainty as she grabs your arms and places them around her waist, “You can trust me with this y/n, I promise.” Her voice was soft and reassuring, and she looked at you with her all too familiar warm eyes that made it nearly impossible to not trust her at that very moment. Besides, Hanni wouldn’t actually let you get hurt, you knew that much. Reluctantly, you let out a sigh and tighten your grip on Hanni’s waist, saying a soft “okay…” which resulted in an unseen smile from the other girl and the sound of the engine to rev confidently.

-

If there was one thing Ho Chi Minh City locals perfected, it was the art of organized chaotic traffic. You fearfully bite back a scream as you watch as oncoming traffic simply did not stop for anyone anywhere ever. People did not look before crossing the street and every vespa, motorbike, car, or other miscellaneous vehicle simply maneuvered around one other to get around. You swear your grip on Hanni at this point would cut off all circulation in her body as she lets out a loud and hearty laugh amongst the chaos, speeding up as she weaves in between pedestrians with ease, as if she's been doing this her entire life. “Hanni what the HELL–”

Soon enough the two of you made it out of the city, and Hanni guides you through the dusty terrain of the more rural areas of Vietnam. You were a bit nervous at first, unsure if you were a fan of the bumpy nature of the rocky road that was debatably either safer or more dangerous than those in the city. Once you realize Hanni was no longer entertaining your fears though, you take a moment to finally get out of your own head and live in the moment. Inhale. Exhale. Your eyes glisten as you take in the sights around you. It was so… Green. The lush flora coats the environment with a serene green glow, and the feeling of the wind flying through your hair was such a freeing feeling. Your grasp on Hanni loosens as you let out a loud cheer, laughing as you let everything go. The dappled spots of light from the overhead trees rush past your vision below as you look forward, spotting multiple ox and farmers ahead within the flooded fields. The clouds ahead looked so incredibly soft, and the sky looked bigger than ever– even bigger than how it looked on the plane ride here. You can't help but wonder if it were nighttime, would you be able to see the stars here? You press your cheek against Hanni’s back as you relish in the feeling for a bit, closing your eyes in bliss as the sounds of the nature around you fade.

Before you knew it, the green forestry surrounding you was slowly diminishing, eventually being replaced with a more beige sandy soil. A small gasp leaves your lips as you look out, spotting a small beach with an even larger body of water. The waves glistened beneath the summer sun and you were surprised such a place had absolutely no human traffic. “I found this place when I first got Sunny here,” Hanni practically reads your mind, also glancing over at the ocean before finding a place to park her vespa and hop off, “It's a place the locals keep a secret, and now you also know of it as well.”

You tilt your head a bit in confusion at her comment, hopping off of the vehicle, “Sunny?” Hanni raises her eyebrow as she points to the back end of the Vespa, a large sticker labeled ‘Sunny’ in large white letters is proudly showcased on Hanni’s vespa, and you mentally facepalm as the other girl giggles. Still, it left a warm feeling within your chest knowing Hanni was sharing a hidden area like this with you.

“Come on, let's go in the water! It's hot out here!!” Hanni exclaims loudly, immediately booking it towards the ocean ahead, kicking her shoes off and into the sand in the process. Your eyes widen as you chase after her, hastily taking your shoes off as well as you call out, “Hanni, wait! We didn’t bring our swim suits!” You hissed a little as the sand was unrealistically hot from the sun practically cooking it throughout the day, muttering out little “ow, ow, ow’s” as you hopscotch your way into the water. You couldn't help but notice Hanni was unbothered by the temperature, her new hair allowing a newfound freshness within her step. It truly seemed like she was made for the beach.

“So…?” Hanni extends the word playfully with a grin, already calf deep into water by the time you awkwardly trudge through the ocean towards her, kicking up liquid in the process and splashing Hanni’s shorts. She gasps in shock at the cold sensation and you open your mouth to apologize before getting cut off by water getting shot directly into your face. Salty water entered your mouth and nearly up your nose and you spat it out, wiping your face with your hands as your eyes focused and landed on the culprit, who stared at you with a mischievous grin, bent down within the water to prepare for her next attack. 

“Oh no you dont–” You immediately side step and just narrowly miss an icy cold splash of water before you, bending over to counterattack with twice as much. A high pitched scream followed by genuine laughter followed suit, and the two of you go at it for a little bit, splashing water back and forth in between fits of laughter, completely drenching your clothes. You were happy. Being here, being with her. You took a moment to truly take in the sight of the girl before you. Eyes crescent shaped as she laughs from her heart, a toothy open mouth grin that you knew was genuine and grew to love over the years, and the way her newly cut hair was soaked and stuck to her cheeks and forehead charmingly. You loved the energy Hanni always brought to the table, her constant smile and the endless surprises she had up her sleeve. You were glad she chose you of all people to be her best… friend.

…Oh.

Hanni however, is not aware of your current sentimental and affectionate internal thoughts towards her, and decides to up her game with a new strategy, smirking to herself as she backs up, building up energy while you were catching your breath. You were so worn out and lost within your own thoughts you only noticed the charging bob-haired girl all too late, “Hanni WAI–” 

Practically all of the air got knocked out of you as Hanni strikes you down with a full body bear hug, sending the both of you into the water with a loud splash. Satisfied with her work (and quite worn out by now) Hanni doesn’t even make an attempt to hold you down, going full dead fish on your chest with an innocent grin and multiple giggles as you prop yourself up within the water with your arms. Coughing pathetically, you use one of your hands to wipe your face and slick back your hair as you look at Hanni, who rests very comfortably between your legs and on your chest, her arms wrapped around your waist as she looks up at you with those big dark brown eyes. Your breath hitches as you realize how close your faces are to one another. It wasn’t like you two haven't been this physically close before, but that never stopped you from being flustered. Something about the way she looks at you sometimes always caught you off guard, and you never knew how to handle it. The last time this happened was at your last sleepover together, having talked about past crushes, relationships, and how dating would work after high school graduation. Something about the way she looked at you underneath the sheets after asking about your crushes made your mind go blank. She had that look in her eyes again, and it drove you crazy how you couldn't read it. Cheeks reddening, you instinctively whip your head away, needing to look at something other than Hanni to keep yourself propped up within the water.

Frowning at this reaction, Hanni reaches a hand up and cusps your cheek, guiding your head to face her once again, forcing you to make eye contact with her. “y/n…” Her tone was soft and airy, if anything it was a bit needy. The blush on your cheeks was apparent at this point, and you still had no idea why you were even blushing in the first place, but the way her eyes flickered down to your lips for a split second intensified the color tenfold. You watch as her eyebrows knit together and how she subconsciously bites her lip, a habit she had whenever she was lost in thought– a sight you were familiar with. Even so, it felt different this time. 

You watch as Hanni closes her eyes and leans in, softly pressing her lips against yours. It was a gentle kiss, a very hesitant one at that. Just a small peck. You could tell it was Hanni’s way of “testing the waters” (ba dum tss) but to you? It was everything. You quite literally felt fireworks within your stomach as she kissed you, and the shock left you simply frozen in place, eyes comically wide open for the very brief moment. All too soon, she pulls away. She looks up at you again, a glint of fear and uncertainty in her eyes as she waits for your reaction.

You take a moment to simply sit there dazed, mouth agape in the water once again as panic settles within Hanni at the silence. “Oh my god. I'm so sorry y/n. I-I thought—“ She had begun to hurriedly make her way off of your chest when you quickly grabbed her wrist, pulling her back into you as you brought your lips together. Now it was Hanni’s turn to freeze up, but it was only for a moment. Almost immediately after, you could hear her blissfully sighing into the kiss as her arms snake their way around your neck, your free hand moving down her back and landing comfortably on the small of it.

Her lips were soft, and tasted ever so lightly like berries despite having been splashed with saltwater multiple times. You’d never think you’d find yourself within the beaches of Vietnam, kissing your best friend, yet here you were. The sound of waves surrounds the two of you as you find yourself lost within the movements of her lips. You felt her pull away for air and you almost let out a whine at the sudden lack of contact before she starts peppering kisses all over your face. Your cheeks, nose, chin, forehead, everywhere. “You look so pretty right now y/n-nie~” Hanni cooes as you roll your eyes, pulling her in closer as she focuses her kisses onto your cheek. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve been wanting to do this for a long time,” you tease, getting a hum in response as Hanni brings you back in for another kiss, whispering “you have no idea..”

“So… Do you have a crush on me or something?”

“Do you not like me back, y/n?”

“Well… I don't know about that...”

“I'm going to leave you here.”

“Noooo~”

Several splashes and giggles erupted from the both of you, and suddenly summer just became a little sweeter.

[haru-dipthong]

Fansub release for Utena ep 19 + Japanese culture lesson

Utena: やっぱり若葉って普通の女の子なんだね。きっといいお嫁さんになるよ。

WHAT a loaded line. Let’s look at my translation of the first part:

Utena: You’re such a normal girl, Wakaba.

I think this line shows that at this point in the story, Utena has come to terms with the fact that they’re not a “normal” girl, but despite this self-recognition, they still see normalcy as something inherently good that one should strive for. They’re still in the clutches of an idealised status quo. Now let’s look at the next part. A literal translation would be:

Utena: I'm sure you'll make a good bride. (from ohtori.nu)

But like… who says it like this in English anymore? While this phrasing sounds natural in Japanese, it sounds extremely old fashioned and weird in English. How would a native English speaker voice the same thought? I think it would be something like this:

Utena: You’ll probably make some guy very happy. (my translation)

This means the same thing, but sounds much more natural. This is another example of how to be a good translator, you need to be a good writer. You can’t just transpose words of the same meaning, you have to understand the thought behind the words, and then write a new sentence with the same thought behind it, but in the target language.

Wakaba: そうよ。ようやく気づいたの。やっぱり私はあの王子様が好きなんだって…　そして、神様のおかげで王子様もやっと私の事振り向いてくれるようになったのかなって。

Wakaba: You’re right. I finally realised. I do love that prince of mine. And maybe, somehow… Something will finally happen between us.

There are a few things I want to talk about in this passage. First of all, 神様のおかげで. This is a phrase that literally means “because of the kami-sama (/positive)”. It’s often translated as “thanks to God” or “by the grace of God” or “thanks to divine intervention”, but to translate it this way is to erase the nuances of Japanese religious custom and worse, Christianise a non-Christian character.

In Japanese culture, Shinto and Buddhism are seen by the vast majority of people not as religions, but as customs. According to several surveys, approximately 70% of Japanese people specify they have no personal faith, despite statistical research showing that about 70% of Japanese people practice Shinto rites and practices, and another 70% of Japanese people practice Buddhist practices. This is because Japanese people follow these practices as a matter of culture and custom, not of faith. Participation rates in 初詣 (hatsumode), the first shrine visit of the year, are extremely high despite many participants not truly believing in the spiritual aspect. In Japan, Shinto and Buddhism are more about tradition and participation than faith and affiliation. And this is just based on anecdotal evidence from my own life, but I think a lot of Japanese people wouldn’t be able to explain the difference between Shinto and Buddhist belief systems. They all get blended together as part of the culture. Shinto and Buddhism ARE Japanese culture. The teachings of those religions inform the Japanese way of looking at and interacting with the world, despite the spiritual elements not being directly believed by many Japanese people.

On top of that cultural background, the concept of “kami-sama” (or just “kami”) are not God, or even gods. Generally, Shinto kami are more spirit than god, with kami said to inhabit everything from ancient trees to ramen bowls. In a way, they’re like the essence of the world. One could even say they are “the universe”, in the same way that secular English speakers might say “the universe is trying to tell me something”.

I don’t believe this line is showing that Wakaba is a believer in Shinto. It’s just showing that she believes that the universe is rotating in a favourable way for her. The “kami-sama” that she mentions are not literal kami or gods, but simply an indication that, through no direct action of her own, something good is happening to her (I have confirmed this interpretation with my dad, who is Japanese and was raised in Japan).

Wew… okay. Onto the second thing I wanted to talk about in this passage LOL

王子様もやっと私の事振り向いてくれるようになった

The final translation for this line was:

Something will finally happen between us.

But a more literal translation would be:

He’s finally looking my way.

In fact, I actually liked this more. I thought the imagery from the original Japanese was nice, and it translated directly quite well. The only problem was that pesky pronoun…

As Anya rightfully pointed out, you could read this as a setup for Utena being Wakaba’s prince. Certainly it’s all there in the text — Wakaba did repeatedly insist that “it’s not like that” between her and Tatsuya, she often treats Utena like a boyfriend, and it would even explain her getting flustered after Utena pressures her to reveal who her “prince” is at the lunch table. And let’s not forget Tatsuya’s line “I noticed that she looks the happiest when she's with you, Utena.”

Some of this exchange had to be rewritten to completely avoid using any singular pronouns, lest we spoil the reveal at the end. For example, this line had to be changed from a focus on the prince to an indirect line about the both of them. I think the line still captures the general sentiment, but it’s a shame it had to change so much from the original phrasing!

Thanks to @dontbe-lasanya for the amazing editing, especially for picking up the pronoun issue when talking about the prince!

Follow my blog if you'd like to stay up to date with new episode releases! You can see all episodes released so far here:

Rose divider taken from this post

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Antipsychiatry

The term “antipsychiatry” originated in the 1960s to describe a broad-based movement that questioned the legitimacy of standard psychiatric theory and practice.

The movement specifically challenged the validity of psychiatric categories, diagnostic practices, and common forms of treatment.

The antipsychiatry movement was motivated by anger at the perceived arbitrariness of psychiatric diagnostic practice as well as outrage at the apparent inhumanity of certain treatments, such as electroconvulsive therapy and long-term involuntary hospitalization.

The original antipsychiatry movement was led by psychiatrists, many of whom resented the label “antipsychiatry” and insisted they wanted reform rather than revolution within the discipline.

The movement began as an understandable reaction to various missteps of psychiatry, such as the over-medicalization of mental health, the inhumane management of asylum care, and the inappropriate pathologizing of minority groups.

In the early days of the movement, it might be said that "anti-psychiatry" helped psychiatry to self-correct in a way that moved the discipline towards a more scientific endeavor reliant on empiric evidence, while maintaining a sharp focus on the interaction between biological, psychological, and social contributions to mental health and illness.

More recently, however, the anti-psychiatry movement has lost its way.

It has transformed from a predominantly academic and political movement to one of consumer groups, akin to the anti-vaccine saga.

In its current form, anti-psychiatry exists as a disorganized entity outside of mainstream medicine, largely propagated on social media and in non-peer-reviewed sources like newspaper opinion articles, books, and blogs that evade scientific dialogue and critique.

Modern anti-psychiatry is not a monolith, yet there are common themes that could be harmful to patients.

Different from helpful scientific criticism, it often takes the dangerous form of disinformation that aims to tear down the discipline and deter treatment-seeking.

Those who espouse anti-psychiatry ideology often lay charges against the very existence of psychiatric disorders and the wholescale efficacy of psychiatric medication.

While the late psychiatrists Thomas Szasz and R.D. Laing remain heroes of the movement, academic critics of psychiatry today are often psychologists with limited experience treating severe mental illness, involvement in medication management, or collaborating with psychiatrists.

A tragedy of anti-psychiatry is that its merit is lost in its extremism.

Refuting Common Tropes of Anti-Psychiatry

"Psychiatry still promotes the 'chemical imbalance' hypothesis to explain mental illness."

Not really.

The "chemical imbalance" explanation was an early and incorrect way to make sense of the effectiveness of medications that alter neurotransmitters like dopamine or serotonin in the brain, whereas in reality the biochemical mechanisms of mental illness and how treatments work are still being researched.

"It is not ethical to use a medication if one doesn't know the mechanism of action." 

This has never been a principle of medicine.

Efficacy and safety are routinely established long before full mechanisms are understood and they guide future understanding of pathophysiology.

"Psychiatric medications are harmful." 

All medical interventions can cause harm, including surgery, medications, psychotherapy, and recommendations to exercise.

In medicine, interventions must be understood and explained to patients in terms of "risk-benefit" relative to prognosis without treatment.

This is the foundation of informed consent.

"Psychiatric medications don't work."

There are a range of different psychiatric medications used to treat different conditions, each with varying levels of efficacy compared to placebo.

"Psychiatric diagnoses are made by checklist." 

Sound diagnosis requires thorough investigation, interview, collateral history, objective examination, and sometimes "ruling out" medical disorders and other psychiatric issues.

Bonus side trope debunking: the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) is not the "Bible" of psychiatry -- it is more of an imperfect "rough guide" that continues to be revised.

"Psychiatrists practice 'biological psychiatry.'" 

Modern psychiatry is a medicine subspecialty that seeks to understand mental illness based on the integration of biological, psychological, and social aspects of one's life.

In this respect, psychiatry was ahead of most medical fields in understanding the impact of psychology and social factors on health.

"Psychiatrists seek to 'medicalize normal.'"

The boundary between health and disease is "fuzzy" across all of medicine, where the treatment of disease overlaps with health promotion.

Generally speaking, psychiatry focuses on emotional suffering and impairments to functioning, whether it is an "expected reaction" or not.

"Mental illness doesn't exist."

The definitions and boundaries of particular mental disorders fluctuate over time, reflecting our shifting understanding of the biological, psychological, and social phenomena that account for them.

Mental disorders can best be understood as symptom clusters that co-occur in patterns that can be recognized and identified with good "inter-rater reliability" in order to guide evidence-based treatment approaches.

Psychiatry is far from a perfect science and must continue to evolve and improve over time and in response to criticism.

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[crescenthistory]

hii! if possible, can I request narcissa black x reader with the prompt "you think (x) would kill us if we just eloped? + meeting the family OR secret relationship with a fem reader if you're willing to write for her ^^

thank you very much <3

i cannot believe i am finally biting the bullet and writing narcissa, i am so excited about this. i twisted the request a bit based on the secret relationship part, i hope you enjoy<3

Words: 1.6k

Warnings/tags: fem!reader, implied secret relationship, allusions to the typical house of black abuse, negligence and discriminatory attitudes, narcissa has trouble with her sisters but is relatively cool with her cousins, sweet fluff, daydreaming, hurt/comfort for narcissa, doom on the horizon but with a mostly hopeful atmosphere, implied non-sexual nudity maybe

Your dorm had come to be a safe haven in these last few weeks of your final term together at Hogwarts.

Sprawled opposite you, laying on her side with her blonde hair splashing beautifully against your dark bedding, Narcissa had never looked more beautiful nor less like the noble and honourable member of the Black family she was. Exactly how you loved her, how you relished at being able to have her.

Her eyes were closed, fluttering open every now and then to let her gaze jump all across your face, closing with a satisfied smile whenever she found what she was looking for. She never did say what that was exactly, but you had a warm and sneaking suspicion you already knew.

You laid opposite her, bare legs entangled under the soft sheets, but with enough distance between your faces for you to regard her properly – and not far enough away that you couldn't tilt your head forward to press the occasional sweet kiss to her face. A content finger was tracing the sharp angles of her face, soft pad visiting the valley of her cheekbone, admiring the line beneath her eyebrows.

A beautiful girl. A wonderful girl. All yours and in your arms, regardless of what the world outside your little dormitory had in store for you.

"What are you thinking about?" Her voice was quiet, eloquent as always and soft in that way it only ever was with you. It made you want to tell her anything and everything she may want to know.

"You." The smile must have been evident in your tone, because she slanted her eyes to search for it, returning it in satisfaction when it shone up at her.

"Anything in particular, or just practicing gratitude?" Teasing, but vulnerable. Open, but unsure.

"Do you think Regulus would kill us if we just eloped right after Hogwarts?" you asked. Aware that it was a sudden question, yet knowing she would read the indirect answer in it: I’m thinking about wanting to keep you. I’m thinking about how to prolong this moment. Help me?

She tilted her head to the side, her usually perfectly styled and wispy fringe now messy and falling in her eyes as she hummed in consideration. Entertaining your idea – if she was thrown off by this line of questioning, she did not let it show. "No, I don’t think so. But Sirius might. And Bella, for wholly different reasons."

You laughed heartily at that, content with finding humour even in the difficult. "Ah, yes. The two most dramatic of the Black cousins."

Narcissa scrunched her nose up in a way that begged you to kiss it. "So you admit it's not me?" she asked teasingly. As she spoke, she scooted even further towards you, your chests now brushing. 

"Only for now," you relented to her. At the same time, you also relented to yourself and leaned forward, closing the gap between you to kiss her in a lingering, soft fashion.

She sighed against your lips in a way that ached softly in your hollow rib cage. It conveyed so much heaviness, but the sigh was her letting go, even if just for a moment. She was letting go because she was with you. That was enough motivation to keep you beside her forever. 

When your lips parted, you kept peppering soft pecks around her mouth, nose and cheeks. She laughed horsley, bringing her hand up to wrap around your back and hold you close. “Good,” she murmured. “Because I am growing tired of your accusations.”

“You could never grow tired of me, Black,” you volleyed, grinning at her with shining eyes.

Her eyebrows twitched but her smile didn’t falter. “Don’t call me that – I’m not a Black with you, I’m just Cissa. I’m just yours.”

You fought to make your smile only convey love and not the immense pity and empathy brewing in you, knowing she wouldn’t appreciate it. “You are mine. My Cissa. My love.” Your voice was barely a whisper, but you stressed every word.

Her eyes fluttered back closed, forehead falling forward to thump against yours. “Eloping,” she said through a half-laugh, as if she was tasting the word, a foreign concept. “You know, it has a certain ring to it.”

“Oh yes,” you agreed in a conspiratory tone, hoping to brighten her mood. “A very drama-free-expectations-free ring actually. Though if we eloped, the rings would have to be rather cheap.”

A smile spread on her lips. “I wouldn’t mind that, you know.”

“My ethereal princess wouldn’t mind a cheap ring?” you teased.

She quirked one eye open to look at you in faux offense. “I resent that. I don’t need fancy rings. I just happen to like them quite a lot.”

You hummed a laugh, kissing her nose. “Lucky for you, I happen to like you quite a lot – if we eloped, I would have Pandora and Barty scrape together something for us. They’d be happy to help.”

Narcissa frowned at the mention of her least favourite one of your friends. “Junior would just love spending Senior’s money,” she huffed.

“Exactly! Win-win situation, really.” You nudged her nose with yours once you considered it throuroygly kissed. “If I was to elope with you, I would do it proper. All out. Ridding you of your oppressive family does not mean I have to rid you of other worldly delights.”

Narcissa opened her eyes, and you could tell some tears were brimming in the grey irises you so loved. “You’re too good to me,” she whispered. “With each day that passes, I fear you may be all I need.”

“My love,” you murmured in turn. You reached up to smooth your thumb in between and over her eyebrows, massaging out the tension carefully. “That is not a fear, it’s a promise.”

“And you do?” she asked then, baring a vulnerability she only ever showed you. “You promise?”

When your lips reached hers, the kiss was so tentative and cradling it could almost heal every scar on your bodies and souls. “I do,” you whispered against her lips before going in for another kiss. “I promise, Cissa.”

With a heaving sigh, Narcissa rolled you over onto your back so she could settle with her head on your chest and circle her arms around your stomach. She was clinging to you in a way she didn’t know how before you two first started opening yourselves up to each other a few years ago, clinging to every piece of safety and comfort you had built with each other. The room around you was tranquil despite the turmoils rolling around both outside its walls and inside the minds of its inhabitants – it was warm yet fresh and despite it being yours it smelled wholly of Narcissa from how much time she spent here. In privacy, just the two of you.

“I love you.” She had said it before and you hoped she would say it again. This time, she whispered it into your bare skin before pressing a kiss there, right above your heart. Her chronically cold fingers slid up under your soft shirt, splaying across your ribs and holding you to her. “You’re mine.”

“I love you too, Cissa,” you said, smiling at the ceiling. “We’ll take it day by day, but say the word and I’ll elope with you in a heartbeat. I’ve got it all planned, from the ring to the escape route. I’ll risk having Sirius and Bella after me anyday.”

Narcissa laughed wetly against you. “I’d protect you,” she amended, squeezing your flesh in support. “That’s what I’m scared of.”

“Protecting me?” 

“Having to protect you.” She tilted her head back to look up at you, encouraging you to crane your face down towards hers with a hand on your cheek. “I never want to have to protect you.”

You pressed your lips together in understanding. You never want to have to protect her, either, but unlike her, you know you have to one day, and you’re willing to face it. More importantly though, you love her too much to force her to do so before she absolutely has to. 

Thus; “We will make it work, my love. We will make everything work, you and me, yeah?” 

Narcissa breathed measuredly out of her nose and decided to resolve her crushing anxiety with another kiss. It was lazy, cold meets warm as lips part and hold each other with love. Just you two.

“Tell me a story,” she asked when you came apart. Her head dove right back into your neck, nose pressing against your pulse point, happily feeling your heartbeat. “Something to make me smile.”

“Yes, princess,” you responded, as if to a command. She laughed against you, and your mission was already accomplished.

If you did elope, her cousins or sisters never could get to you, because with Narcissa’s strategic love and your gritty determination, you covered all bases. And if you did have to face it, it would be alright — because you had each other through it all.

[euphoricfilter]

regret:

pairing: jungkook x gn! reader

genre: non-idol au || angst ||

summary: regret is the worst emotion

tags/ warnings: kinda just angst… the ending is ambiguous so you can try make it happy if you want

notes: a little ramble based on how i feel at the moment as a little treat before bed <3 i feel very rusty because i haven’t written in so long

☆ where you can find the rest of my stuff!!

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

the knowledge that the thing you want to say is going to hurt someone you care about is the worst feeling. a strange sinking in your chest, malleable guilt that chews away at your mind and your heart.

words tacky on your tongue as you rehearse them in your head over and over, a well practiced script. because ending something with someone you like a lot hurts. really, truly, hurts.

it hurts knowing you’ll hurt them and it hurts not knowing how your relationship will be after you utter the miserable set of words stuck in your mind.

jungkook was your first.

jungkook was your everything.

he was perfect, within whatever limitation human perfection has. he treated you like you were the best thing on the face of the earth. you were the light of his eyes, perfect in all your imperfect ways. a piece of you tucked away in his mind all hours of the day.

quick to message back when you text about your day. always on the other end of the phone. always there. the one person in the universe who loved you for who you were, the one person who loved to spend time with you all hours of the day. just the silent comfort of knowing you were there enough for him.

gentle as his fingers would run through your hair, legs tangled together and breathing soft as you linger between the waking world and gentle sleep.

his love for you was all consuming.

which is why you didn’t understand why it felt like your world was crumbling. a phantom hand wrapped around your delicate neck, constricting every breath you took.

a constant spiraling anxiety, tugging you further and further into this abyss of worry and self loathing.

the strange self loathing you have when you don’t know yourself anymore. unsure why. what reason there is to your existence. why people even liked you when it felt like you had nothing else to offer.

and at the time you thought you needed a break.

palms sweaty as you hold the phone to your ear, boyfriend understandably concerned by your recent lack of communication.

“hello..?” jungkook answers.

you swallow, “hi” it comes out quiet, throat already lodged, eyes glossy.

“what’s wrong, baby?” he hums, you hear him shuffle on the other end of the phone.

your lungs inflate as you take a deep breathe

“i..” you start, all that practice getting you nowhere as your mind stops, guilt clawing it’s way up your throat.

“baby?” he presses on, worry evident in his voice.

“i don’t know if i can do this anymore” the bitter words slip off your tongue, “you don’t deserve this”

and of course jungkook had been baffled. though maybe a small part of him knew that this was coming, how you’d slowly started to creep away from him. the unintentional distance scratching the surface of what was rattling around your mind.

“if this isn’t what you want… then that’s okay” he breathes, “i just want you to be happy”

you feel the tears trickle down the mounds of your cheeks, “no” you huff, “god, jungkook please don’t be nice right now”

“what do you want me to do?” he laughs, though you can feel the lack of humor, laugh dry as it’s pushed past his lips.

you wipe your wet cheeks, “call me a bitch or something”

“i’m not gonna call you a bitch” he sighs.

“but you don’t deserve this… i should have at least come in person or… i don’t know” you cry, “i feel like such a horrible person”

“you’re not a horrible person” he hums, “i don’t want you to feel bad”

“too late” you murmur, “i feel like shit… you’re just so nice and i really like you…. but i don’t think i can do this anymore”

the fact he has been so nice had made it harder. the sadness in his voice as he reassured you as you cried. the moment sinking in when you finally put your phone down. you’d shattered something so lovely. you’d ripped away the only person who made you feel seen.

and the week after was no different. he didn’t message you. so you never tried reaching out, how could you when you’d broken his heart.

it felt selfish missing him. wanting any sort of contact you could get.

and when he messaged about bringing some of your stuff over back to your place, that wasn’t enough. you knew that the small exchange wouldn’t be enough because you missed him, and asking for friendship after you ended the relationship chewed away at your mind.

sometimes missing someone is a strange feeling. knowing that the dynamic you once had is totally different, that it might never be the same as it was.

and sometimes missing someone hurts a little less than the guilt that eats away at you for what you have done. or missing someone can hide that slither of regret you have, wishing you knew you’d hate life without them as much as you did with them.

the world is lonely when you don’t feel seen.

dread wrapping around your mind. slowly sinking further and further into the darkness. nights spent thinking about the moments you’d shared together. that maybe you want what was once there.

you missed jungkook more than you’d like admit and it was eating away at your heart.

all it took was a week. a week of silence. a week of being alone and figuring out life by yourself.

you tip your head up, full moon shining down on the street as you stand outside jungkook’s apartment building, feet shuffling against the ground as you hold your phone to your chest. you’d written a message, rewritten the message, thought about what you’d say.

and that selfish part of you wants to send it. that selfish part of you wanting him to be there, for you to touch him, know that he’s really there and you can change what had happened.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

“Where would be the fun in telling you the whole story?” the villain asked. They leaned forward in their chair, handcuffs rattling. “C’mon, you’re clever. Surprise me.”

“I know you’ve murdered a supervillain. An incredibly powerful non-human being. Someone, well, something I’ve been chasing after for years.” The hero crossed their arms in front of their chest. Was it really that easy? An entire threat being reduced to nothing because of the villain? “People might start calling you a hero.”

“A hero? Would that make me your what? Partner?”

“Well, right now you’re under investigation for murder. Even if it’s a supervillain, it’s still a crime.” The hero couldn’t wrap their head around why the villain would kill an ally that easily. It wasn’t like the villain was a particularly active one. More or less, they were like a puppet master, controlling other people from behind the scenes. That was dangerous enough in itself but the villain being active, being a threat instead of controlling the threads was even more worrying.

“You are the one who questioned the supervillain’s humanity just now. They’re something, not someone,” the villain pointed out.

That was foul. Using the hero’s words against them wasn’t new but both of them were fully aware of the contradiction here — was it wrong to kill a bad person? And was it right to get convicted for that?

“Is that a confession?”

The villain cocked their head, smirking even.

“You tell me. Is that enough to lock me up?”

“The evidence speaks for itself.”

“You’re drawing conclusions based on assumptions,” the villain argued. “And after all, they were a friend of mine. Why on earth should I kill someone who’s my friend?”

Indeed, the motive was the only inexplicable part in all of this.

“We have found samples of your DNA at the crime scene.”

“The victim and I used to meet there quite often to discuss work. You can ask my employees, I have a perfect record of my whereabouts for the last few months.” They looked the hero up and down, as if this was a date instead of an interrogation. They smiled when the hero’s eyes met theirs.

“You have bruises on your arms,” the hero pointed out. “The…victim was struggling before they died. There was quite the fight.”

Suddenly, the villain didn’t look as amused as before.

“You have bruises on your arms as well,” they said.

The hero blushed.

Unfortunately, a week ago the hero had actually attempted to take down the supervillain. They’d been beaten to a horrific degree and only thanks to modern medicine, they were walking and breathing.

Two days ago, some of the supervillain’s henchmen had “visited” the hero to make sure they’d gotten the message. They were still limping, refusing to go back to their medic again.

“My bruises are from practice. You can ask my martial arts teacher, I was with him yesterday.” They eyed the hero’s bruises, so the hero pushed down their sleeves.

The hero sighed.

“I’m sure all your ‘employees’ and your ‘martial arts teacher’ are in on this?” The hero closed their eyes, letting their hand go over their face a couple of times. “I know it was you. But…why? I’m a good detective. I will get more evidence. And I will most certainly figure out why you did it.”

The villain stared at them, their interest focused on the index finger the hero was holding up. They looked up at the hero eventually.

“Don’t break your pretty little head thinking too much about it, hm?”

[poeticpomegranate]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ How to study: A note-taking and analytical reading guide ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅

To preface,

One of the most important things to understand when it comes to learning, is the two styles of memory rehearsal.

Style 1: Elaborative Rehearsal

The act of understanding a concept so deeply it connects to your worldview, past experiences, and this piece of knowledge becomes yours.

Style 2: Maintained Rehearsal

Reviewing a piece of information to memorize a fact, but not the concept and the roots of the context.

+ It is important to think for yourself; form your own connections and learn because you want to learn, not just in hopes of getting good marks. Knowledge is beautiful and powerful, and should be utilized in the appropriate way.

Part 1: Reading non-fiction/informative based texts

Technique 1: "The Walden Method"

Step 1: Inspectional reading

Quickly (!!) read the entire chapter

Know exactly what happened

Know exactly what stood out to you

Know what to look for

+ Highlight things that stand out to you (in any way) and/or take small notes in the margins ("interesting!" "what" "love!")

(This forms the backbone of your understanding for this topic)

Step 2: Analytical reading

Gather a general understanding of the material

Create a concise map of your thoughts, and small details of the text

+ Intricate connections begin to take place because pieces of information now make sense with the general backbone you formed in the inspectional reading.

Step 3: Take notes in a flow-like fashion

Write down the backbone ideas/concepts

(What year did the French Revolution take place? What were its important influences? Who were important figures during this time?)

Elaborate on these backbone ideas/concepts to give you a visual representation of the connections you made with your backbone, and to see what still needs to be understood.

Part 2: Taking notes of non-fiction/informative based texts

Technique 2: "The Cal Newport Method" - (for non-technical subjects)

Base your notes around these three points in this order to make your notes as clear and concise as possible:

Q-question

E-evidence

A-answer

+ When/if you are in a lecture, scribble down everything your instructor says of importance, and then revise your notes immediately after.

+ You must group your evidence and conclusion pieces carefully, being sure to link the proper piece of evidence to the correct conclusion.

(EX:

Question: What are Emily's favorite colors?

Evidence #1: Her mother says she likes pink.

Evidence #2: Her father says she likes pink, and yellow.

Evidence #3: Her brother says she likes blue, but only when its December.

Conclusion: Emily's general favorite colors are pink and yellow, as well as blue only when it is December.

^^ It is important to include the bit about it being her favorite color only in December because it would be incorrect to say it is one of her general favorite colors.)

Technique 3: "The Cal Newport Method" - (for technical subjects)

Base your notes around these three points in this order to make your notes as clear and concise as possible:

P-problem

Q-question

A-answer

Step 1: Understand the large, basic concepts first

+ Do not drive head first into math problems or questions concerning the nervous system if you do not understand the large, basic concepts first.

Step 2: Note-taking

Write down practice problems/diagrams/equations, etc.

Write each step to solving/understanding this problem/diagram/equation, etc.

Annotate each step, explaining why this is so

For equations, write down a practice problem for each possible alternative outcome that can happen

(EX:

1. How to solve an algebraic equation.

2. How to solve an algebraic equation with a square root.

3. How to solve an algebraic equation with square roots, etc.

Technique 4: The Feynman Method

You do not fully understand a subject until you can explain it to a child, and reword it yourself without notes

Part 3: Studying non-fiction/informative based texts

Testing yourself with flashcards and quizzes

Forces you to actively retrieve knowledge, which updates, and reinforces memory

Allows you to actively gage what you already know

Making mistakes actually improves knowledge and memory

2. Use flashcards

When using flashcards, it is best to mix the deck with multiple subjects, interweaving the concepts you focus on in a single session, is more effective than practicing a single skill one at a time.

This further strengthens memory because it forces the brain to temporarily forget, then retrieve information.

You may also find connections across the topics, making it more significant to your brain.

3. Rest, review, rest, review

Spacing reviews across multiple days allows for rest, and retention between sessions.

+ Cramming is not effective because while you could remember information from the night previously, it will not stay ingrained in your long term memory, or even just as likely in your memory the next morning...

Part 3: On essay writing

The more complicated your essay is, the dumber it sounds.

When writing a research paper, refine the scope of your research and don't be afraid to narrow it.

When writing a research paper, create a pile of at least 20 academic papers on the same subject.

+ Sift through these papers with your scope in mind

+ This is the breeding ground for new ideas

Give yourself time to process information right after reading.

View the writing process as an exploration

This is a collection of information collected from these sources:

R. C. Walden - Youtube

Cal Newport - How to become a straight-A student: The unconventional strategies real college students use to score high while studying less

TED-Ed

[kitkatscabinet]

KINKTOBER 03 - Drugged

John Mactavish x f! Reader

Warnings: non-con, drugged reader, delulu Soap. This is fucked up. For @bunnyreaper <3

Your head was pounding, mouth full of cotton as you attempted to gain your bearings through squinted eyes. Any attempts to sit up are met with immediate and violent protest from your body. The world lurches and you practically fall in a boneless heap against the mattress.

In your brief struggle to orient yourself, the blanket covering what you realise is your naked body, had slipped down to your waist. Exposing bare skin covered in various bruises and bite marks.

Horror seized your body, bile filling your mouth as your still fuzzy mind caught onto the implications of what had happened. Tears filled your eyes, blurring your already fuzzy vision, as you desperately tried to recall what had happened.

Despite your best efforts you remember nothing but arriving at the small party that had been thrown in your honour. A recent promotion had come your way, something that required you to transfer bases, thus the joint celebratory/farewell party.

Had you really gotten so drunk that you’d fallen into bed with someone? Unfortunately, the door opens before you have time to properly gather your thoughts. Your visions still not the best but as the figure gets closer you manage to make out a few distinguishing features.

“Mactavish?” The hoarseness of your voice leaves you cringing a little. He’s close enough that you can see his brow furrow, bottom lip jutting out slightly in a pout.

“Thought I told ye to call me Johnny.” He sets what you now realise to be a glass of water and plate of some sort of breakfast down on the small wooden bed side table as her perched on the mattress. “How’re you feelin?” He raises a hand to gently cup your cheek, blue eyes gazing adoringly into yours.

To say you’re confused is an understatement. You and John Mactavish didn’t exactly run in the same circles, more than acquaintances but certainly less than friends. Even if his eyes did seem to intensely focus on you whenever he was near.

“What? What happened?” You manage to get out, just barely managing to prevent yourself from flinching at his touch. His frown deepens even further at your words, hand dropping from your cheek and your heart begins to pound.

“You don’t remember?” There’s a palpable hurt in his tone. Not good. Even in your unnaturally lethargic state, your instincts are screaming.

Bits and pieces had come back to you, but trying to remember felt like staring directly at the sun. Though you do remember leaving with Soap, his concerned blue eyes flashing in the forefront of your mind at your drunkenness. “I… everything’s a little blurry, remind me?”

“Ye had a bit too much to drink, I brought you home, sobered you up.” His words are clearly not the entire truth, the evidence of what he’d done painfully evident on your skin. He must realise what your silence met as he continued on with a smile as if there was nothing wrong.

“Wanted to wait till you were awake for our first time, but you were so gorgeous lying there, teasing me in yer sleep tha’ I couldna help myself.” He apologised, pressing loving kisses on the inside of your forearm.

You want to scream. Tears already sliding down your cheeks at the verbal confirmation of what you already knew.

Warm hands are instantly cupping your cheeks, attempting to wipe your tears before your face is peppered with kisses. There’s slight alarm in his tone as he says “don’t cry lass, hate to see your pretty face covered in tears that aren’t from pleasure. It’s ok.”

Suddenly the blanket, your only shield, is thrown away and John’s mass is on top of you. “If I’d known you’d be so upset about forgetting our first time then I’d have waited. Let me make it up to ya lass.” With that he’s dipped his head down to claim a nipple between his teeth.

You screech, uselessly weak arms attempting to shove his head away as your panic reaches an all time high. He simply huffs through his nose in amusement, and to your horror let’s out a satisfied groan as your nails scrape against his scalp.

He lifts his head abruptly to claim your lips in an open mouthed kiss. It’s an aggressive clash of teeth and spit as his tongue greedily darts into your mouth. He takes your moment of surprise to bury his already hard cock in your ill prepared pussy. His mouth swallowing your surprised shriek of slight pain as he pants in bliss.

He sets a brutal pace immediately, giving you no chance to adjust as his hips piston relentlessly. Soap only pulls away from your mouth to babble a string of expletives as he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder.

“S’fuckin perfect, so pliant and perfect for me, sucking me in where I belong” he grunts, hands gripping bruises into your hips. You’re powerless to do anything but take it, shaky arms scratching at his chest only eliciting a laugh.

To your horror, the pain doesn’t last, your body betraying your minds will as one hand snakes down to roughly press on your clit. His thumb moves in slow circles, greatly contrasting the increasing speed of his thrusts as he mouths at any available skin he can reach.

Involuntarily you moan, clenching down on him as the assault of pleasure becomes too much.

“There’s my good girl, doing so well f’me” Johnny's voice is a little strained, sweat dripping from his forehead onto your chest as his movements falter. “Need you to cum for me lass” he grunts, and before you can attempt to stop yourself, you do, eyes fluttering shut as you whine pathetically loud.

The feel of your tight walls clenching down on him even harder proves too much for Soap and the dismayed cry you let out at feeling his cum full you is overpowered by his groans.

The sound of the door opening has your eyes shooting open, a sliver of hope filling you as someone else steps in. John on the other hand, doesn’t seem to care about the intrusion, his hips continuing to move as he overstimulates the both of you.

As the figure steps closer you finally recognise Ghost, though all your hopes are cruelly snuffed out when he speaks. “Johnny you done? People will get suspicious soon.”

You didn’t think you could spiral into even more despair but Ghost’s words shatter you. Soap is decidedly very unhappy with the news, though mercifully he pulls away, letting your body rest.

Seeing the devastation on your face Soap frowned, leaning down to place a loving kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry bonnie, I’ll be back soon, and then we’ll discuss your attempt at leaving me.” With that he followed Ghost from the room, locking the door behind him and leaving you to your despair.

[candycandy00]

Little Miss Nobody Part 1 - A Gojo x Reader Fanfic

You’re a weak, lowly sorcerer who barely qualifies as an assistant, but you get the opportunity to work on a mission that includes THE Gojo Satoru. Unbeknownst to you, he finds you incredibly attractive despite privately looking down on you as a nobody. On the last night of the mission, he invites you to his hotel room.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Smut. 18+. Gojo x short/thick/curvy fem Reader. Loss of virginity, rough sex, oral sex, etc. Gojo is unintentionally an asshole.

You couldn’t contain your excitement when you were chosen, along with five others, to be assistants on a two week long mission that involved THE Gojo Satoru. You never thought you’d get to work with him. After all, you were a weak, low grade sorcerer who came from a non-sorcerer family. But someone needed to run errands, take notes, and basically act as a gopher. You were eager to take on that role if it meant you got to be near Gojo, if only to watch him work. 

Three years ago, when you were still a third year at your tiny local Jujutsu school, you had technically met him. You and a few other third years had been sent on what was supposed to be a very easy mission. Things went south quickly when a special grade curse appeared, and all you and your classmates could do was flee and hide. Gojo had apparently been in the area at the time on unrelated business and was called over to bail your group out. 

You still remembered how cool he looked as he destroyed the curse with seemingly no effort whatsoever. Then he called the lot of you out from hiding and told you it was safe. He’d been friendly enough, but he didn’t stay to chat. Someone like him was probably busy. 

You couldn’t be sure because of his blindfold, but you thought he never even looked your direction. 

Of course he didn’t. 

Now, you worked mostly as an assistant to other, more powerful sorcerers. But you didn’t mind. You were happy that you could contribute, even in small ways. 

When you arrived at the meeting place to get acquainted with the sorcerers you’d be working with and go over the plan of action over the next two weeks, you tried not to stare at Gojo. He was so much taller than you remembered, and up close, his presence was imposing. He joked around with everyone and acted casual, but you could feel it: his intimidating aura. 

It was your first time seeing him without his blindfold, but his sunglasses prevented you from seeing his eyes. What a shame, you’d heard they were breathtaking. 

You introduced yourself and said the expected pleasantries, and you giggled at his jokes, but that was as far as your courage could take you. For the rest of the meeting, you tried to stay quiet and stay out of the way. 

************

Gojo Satoru noticed her the moment she showed up for the meeting. How could he not? Even under fairly modest clothing, her incredibly erotic body shape was evident. Large, shapely breasts straining against her sweater, thick, plush hips and thighs that looked like they’d been poured into her jeans, plump lips that he couldn’t help imagining wrapped around his cock, all wrapped up in a short frame that could so easily be thrown around in bed. 

She was his type. So much so that it seemed like she’d been designed top to bottom by the gods to drive him wild. But he never let on. He talked to her the same way he talked to everyone else, and his dark sunglasses kept her from noticing how he stared at her curves. 

As the mission commenced, Gojo found himself going to talk to her often, even though she was a weak, practically useless nobody. She was a sweet little thing though, always trying to be helpful in whatever ways her extremely limited abilities would allow. She even made homemade sweets in the kitchen of the condo they’d rented to be their base of operations. Her confections were delicious, and Gojo definitely noticed how much she blushed when he told her so. 

He noticed a lot of things, like the way her eyes seemed to seek him out whenever the group was gathered in one place, the way she stared at him with rosy cheeks when she thought he wasn’t looking, the way she seemed to talk with a bubbly smile with the others but became quiet and shy when he was near. 

Gojo knew he was a very attractive man. He’d seen these signs before, many times. This sweet girl with the lewd body that had him jacking off in the shower while thinking about her… she had a crush on him. 

He had mixed feelings about that. On one hand, it meant getting her into his bed would be no challenge at all. Hell, he probably could have fucked her on the first night if he’d tried. But on the other hand, it was a nuisance when someone lowly like her developed feelings for him. He always tried to let them down gently, to avoid breaking their hearts, but that was much harder to do after he’d fucked their brains out. 

Gojo wasn’t a cruel man. He never made promises, and he never intentionally led anyone on. In fact he tried to be very clear about what he wanted and sometimes avoided sleeping with people who had obvious crushes on him altogether, just to avoid drama. But sometimes the person in question was hot, and he couldn’t resist. And often, even though he felt he was being upfront about only wanting a one night stand, people who had developed feelings for him had a hard time accepting that truth. 

He watched the young woman, whom he’d mentally dubbed “Little Miss Nobody”, as she bent over to get some clean dishes from the condo’s dishwasher. She was wearing a skirt that fell to a modest length when she was standing, but bent over, her soft thighs were exposed. Her perfectly round, thick ass was in the air. Oh, the things he wanted to do to her. 

She stood back up and began placing the dishes in the cabinets. She stood on her tip toes and reached up to try to place something in the top shelf, and both her skirt and T-shirt rode up her body. She was clearly struggling, her short height making the task difficult. Gojo enjoyed the view for a moment from the living room, then walked into the kitchen and stood behind her. “Need some help?”

The poor girl almost jumped out of her skin when she heard his voice so close to her. She blushed and pulled her shirt back down. “Uh, yeah, I’m having trouble reaching the top cabinet.”

He moved in closer, his body brushing against hers as he reached around her and placed the cups in their cabinet. Fuck, he wanted to lift her up and shove her face down on the counter, letting her short legs dangle in the air as he pounded into her from behind. She’d probably let him right now, even with the others in the living room, able to see the whole thing. Her face was red, she was so flustered it was adorable. 

That’s when he decided, after the mission was over, on their last night in town, he would invite her to his hotel room and fuck her as much as he wanted. 

When the last night arrived, everyone had gathered at a sushi joint to celebrate the successful end to the mission. Gojo made a point of sitting next to Little Miss Nobody, making sure his arm brushed against hers whenever he reached for something on the table, making funny remarks to hear her tinkling little laugh, and enjoying the shy, nervous energy she had. 

As everyone stood up from the table, Gojo placed one hand on her shoulder to get her attention, then leaned in to whisper, “Wanna come to my hotel room?”

She looked shocked, her face turning instantly crimson. Her eyes darted about frantically, and she reminded him of a frightened rabbit. “Um… I guess so…” 

He laughed, slipping an arm around her casually. “Don’t be so nervous. Let’s have a night of fun before we leave town.”

She nodded, wearing a small, sweet smile. “Okay,” she said, and she walked out the door with him and up the street to his hotel. 

Having her body pressed against his as they walked was getting him amped up. He was already hard by the time they stepped into his room and shut the door behind them. 

Gojo wasted no time turning her around and pushing her against the inside of the door, covering her hot little mouth with his own, kissing her deeply, his hands on the hem of her shirt, pulling it up. 

He was so wrapped up in trying to get her shirt off, he almost didn’t notice the weak hands pressing against his chest, trying to push him back. She might as well have been trying to push a boulder. 

But he stopped and looked down at her. “Is something wrong?”

She looked like she might cry, and for a moment the terrible thought that he’d been entirely wrong about her struck his mind. But she was still blushing furiously, and her eyes were full of desire. 

“No, nothing’s wrong,” she said, and he felt immense relief, “but… I think I should tell you… I’ve never done this before.”

He cocked his head and grinned. “Never fucked a guy in a hotel room?”

She shook her head. “Never… been with a guy at all.”

His grin vanished. “Wait, you’re a virgin?”

She nodded, averting her eyes. 

Fuck. She was a virgin. He hadn’t expected that. Sure she was a little shy but with a body like hers, she had to have been turning men down left and right. And while he couldn’t deny that being the guy to pop such a sexy girl’s cherry was hot to think about, there were other things to consider. Deflowering someone usually came with emotional baggage he just didn’t want to deal with. 

He knew he should just call the whole thing off. Tell her it was a mistake, make up a lie, anything. But she was here, inside his hotel room, ready and willing to let him fuck her. She was looking at him with glassy eyes, her lips slightly parted, her shirt pulled up to just under her tits. 

He wanted her. He’d imagined doing countless filthy things to her these past two weeks, and now he had her all to himself. How could he possibly resist?

************

You knew what you were getting into when you agreed to go to Gojo’s hotel room. Even as naive as you were, you could figure out that much. You’d been so shocked and flattered that you hadn’t even considered saying no. THE Gojo Satoru wanted you? A weak, useless little peon? 

He’d been nice to you throughout the whole mission, talking to you, including you in strategy meetings even though you had nothing to do with strategy, giving you praise for completing even simple tasks. But he was friendly with everyone. He laughed and talked with everyone. 

Now you were in his hotel room. He’d kissed you, touched you, and you knew where this was going. The thought of losing your virginity to Gojo was thrilling, but also a little scary. Would your inexperience be a turn off? He’d seemed a little hesitant when you told him this was your first time. 

But soon he was kissing you again, his hands pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it aside. He stepped back slightly to look at your lacy bra, but before he could reach around to unhook it, you stopped him again. 

“Can I see your eyes?” you asked, looking up into his sunglasses. “Please?”

He smiled, then reached up one hand and pulled the sunglasses off, letting them drop to the floor. You couldn’t suppress a gasp when you saw his eyes for the first time. They were so unbelievably gorgeous, like pure blue crystals. You wanted to look at them all night. 

“You like them?” he asked with a grin. 

“I do,” you answered. “They’re so beautiful…”

He shrugged. “Some people say they’re creepy.”

If you were being honest, they were a little creepy, but in a “so beautiful they’re inhuman” way. 

Gojo started kissing you again, leaning over to kiss your neck as he unhooked your bra and pulled the straps down your shoulders, finally discarding it on the floor. Then his hands were groping both breasts, lightly squeezing the pillowy flesh. He bent further down, trailing kisses down your collar bone until his mouth closed over one nipple, his tongue running over it. 

“Ahh!” You couldn’t help letting out a small moan as he licked one nipple while his fingers pinched the other. 

He slid down to a crouching position in front of you. The metal door felt cold against your bare back as you reflexively backed into it. You watched with bated breath as he unzipped your skirt. Then he looked up at you with those eyes as he slowly pulled your skirt down your hips, your thighs, your calves, and then let it pool at your feet. He only took a moment to look at your pale pink panties before he pulled those down too, then he leaned back to get a good view. 

You closed your eyes. You’d always been a little self conscious about your body, but having this incredibly good looking man stare at your naked body made you feel like shrinking into a ball and hiding. 

But then you heard his voice. 

“Fuck, you’re even hotter than I imagined.”

You opened your eyes. “Really?”

He was wearing a sultry expression, leaned back on his heels with his thighs apart. That’s when you noticed the prominent bulge in his pants. He tilted his head toward your face and said, “Do you not realize how sexy you are? You had me wound up for two weeks. I spent half the time imagining…” His voice cut off. Perhaps he thought it best not to continue, but now you were curious. 

“What were you imagining?”

He rose to his feet, and his tall frame towered over yours as he stepped closer. “All kinds of things. Fucking you on the couch at the condo. Bending you over the kitchen table. My cock in your mouth…”

Your breaths were coming quicker as you listened. You had no idea he’d been thinking such things about you, but knowing it now made your whole body tingle. 

“Think you can do that for me?” he murmured against your neck as he began kissing you again. “Suck my dick with that cute mouth of yours?”

Your heart was pounding. You wanted nothing more than to please him, to be with him as long as you could. “I can try,” you said with a shaky voice. 

He pulled away then and took you by the hand, leading you over to the bed. He sat down on the edge of it, and gently pushed you to your knees in front of him, between his spread legs. You looked from his crotch to his face, waiting for him to open his pants. Instead he yawned dramatically and said, “I’m just so tired from the mission. Can’t even get my own dick out. You can do that for me, right?” Then he grinned at you. 

You couldn’t help smiling. He was clearly trying to lighten the mood so you wouldn’t be so nervous. You reached out and unbuckled his belt, then carefully unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. You hesitated for a moment, then you slipped the waistband of his boxers down until his cock bounced free. 

You’d never seen one in person before, but even you knew it was an impressive organ. It was much bigger than you expected, tall and pale, standing straight up. It was perfect, just like the rest of him. 

With one hand, you lightly gripped him and leaned forward, giving it a quick, feathery lick. You’d seen porn before, so you had an idea of what to do, but you still felt a little awkward. 

“Take it in your mouth,” Gojo said in a soft voice. And you did as told. You wrapped your lips around his cock and took it as far into your mouth as it would fit, gagging slightly as it hit the back of your throat. 

“That’s good,” he said, his hand resting on your head, his fingers entwining with your hair, “now slide your lips up and down it. Use your tongue, that’s it.”

With Gojo’s coaching, you seemed to be doing a decent job of performing your first blowjob. He certainly seemed to be enjoying it, as his cock was twitching and leaking in your mouth as your tongue circled it and your lips closed tightly around it. You kept this up for several minutes, following any instructions he gave, and finally you felt him grow suddenly tense. 

Without any other warning, he came in your mouth, shooting it down your throat and coating your tongue. You didn’t know if you should pull away, so you remained still until he emptied himself out. When he was finished, you backed up, and realized you had a mouth full of his cum. Guys liked it when girls swallowed it, right? So you gulped it down and looked up at Gojo to see his reaction. 

He was staring at your face, smiling. “Now that’s something I’ve been waiting to see,” he said, then patted your head. “Good girl.”

You blushed bright red upon hearing his praise. You made Gojo Satoru feel good! A nobody like you! 

He took your hand again and pulled you up, then pushed you onto the bed, on your back. He climbed onto the bed and pushed your legs apart. 

“Wait,” you said, and he froze, meeting your eyes. You worked up your courage and said, “Are you going to take your shirt off?”

He laughed, raising up to his knees. “You want me to?”

“Yes, please!” Your voice came out more desperate than you intended, and you felt embarrassed until he pulled his shirt up his torso and then over his head. At that moment, all thoughts in your head froze. All you could focus on was his toned body. It looked like it’d been carved from stone, like the statues of angels you’d seen pictures of from museums in Europe. 

Maybe he really was a god. 

He bent back down between your spread open legs and used his thumb to stroke your slit, smearing your wetness around. Then his long fingers parted your folds and he leaned his face forward, running his tongue across your clit. You nearly jumped from the bed. The pleasure that shot through you left you gasping, but he didn’t give you time to catch your breath. He dove back in, using both his fingers and his mouth to stimulate your clit, switching between different motions, keeping you from getting too used to a specific sensation. 

Your body quivered, your hands gripping the sheets, little mewling moans escaping your lips. Unlike you with your clumsy blowjob, Gojo knew exactly what he was doing. You tried not to think about what that meant. 

The pleasure built up, over and over, making you feel like you might burst. Finally, like a dam breaking, you felt delicious release, your legs trembling on either side of him as you rode out the high. 

He looked up at you, his lips glistening with your juices and his eyes shining. “Feel good?” he asked. 

You could only nod, words failing you. 

He rose up again, this time pushing your knees up to your chest and placing your legs on his shoulders, nearly folding you in half. You could feel his tip poking at you. He leaned down close and said, “Ready?”

“Yeah,” you said in a small, unsteady voice, “I think so.”

He gave you a quick kiss on the lips, and then he was pressing himself inside you. It hurt more than you thought it would, a stinging sensation shooting through you, as if you were ripping. You whimpered, closing your eyes again. 

You heard his voice saying, “Fuck, you’re tight.” Then he pressed further in. You clutched at his arms, and he paused. “Hey, look at me.”

You opened your eyes. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

You shook your head, murmuring, “No, I don’t.”

He grinned. “Good. I’m only halfway in. You can take more of me, right?”

You nodded. You weren’t sure how more was going to fit, but you didn’t want this to end. You wanted to please him. 

He kissed your neck, mumbling against your skin, “I bet you can take all of me.”

“Y-yeah,” you said, still clutching his arms. 

“Good girl,” he whispered, then thrusted into you. You winced, feeling like he was splitting you in two, but there were so many other things that felt good. His perfectly sculpted body against yours, the tips of his soft white hair grazing your face and neck when he kissed you, and those angelic eyes looking down at you. 

You thought you would have agreed to letting him cut off your arm. 

He plunged in so deep, you imagined he was reaching your womb, his thrusts becoming faster, rougher. “Fuck,” he muttered, “you feel fucking incredible!”

Suddenly his hands were on your waist, gripping you hard, his hips banging into yours, his thrusting becoming painful. You looked up at him in alarm, only to find a wild look in those beautiful eyes, as if he were possessed, as if he’d lost himself in the pleasure of fucking you as hard as he could. 

You didn’t ask him to stop. You couldn’t bring yourself to, not when he seemed to be enjoying it so much. You simply let him do whatever he wanted with you, even if it hurt. When tears stung your eyes, you tried to wipe them away quickly. 

Deep down, a small part of you liked it, liked the pain, liked the way your body was making Gojo lose control. And that part of you wanted him to fuck you forever. 

************

Gojo knew he should have been gentle with her. It was her first time and he was fucking her like a whore. But something about being inside her turned him into an animal. Even seeing her crying couldn’t make him slow down. The only thing that could have stopped him was her literally telling him to stop, and he didn’t think that was going to happen. 

Because despite her tears and whimpers, her pussy was soaked, clenching him tightly, and her eyes were lusty as they peered up at him. 

He hadn’t bothered with a condom, figuring he would just pull out. But now he was overcome with the desire to fill her with his cum. So when he felt his own orgasm approaching, he drove himself as deeply within her as possible and shot his load. 

Panting, he slowly pulled out of her. His cock was sticky with cum and blood. When he looked down at her face, he realized her eyes were closed and she was breathing quietly. Had she passed out? Shit. Maybe he had been too rough with her. 

He decided to let her sleep while he took a shower and dressed. When finished, he nudged her awake. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked around the room as if she couldn’t remember where she was. Then her eyes met his and she sat up suddenly, pulling the sheets up to cover herself. 

“It’s late,” Gojo told her, “you better let me walk you to your hotel.”

The assistants were staying at a different hotel down the street, closer to the condo. She blinked a few times, then slid out of bed, pulling a sheet with her. He took the hint and turned around while she dressed, thinking it a bit silly after what had just happened. 

He turned back to face her after he heard her pulling her shoes on. She was looking down shyly, avoiding his gaze. “Um, I had a good time tonight,” she said. 

“Good,” he said with his usual smile, “I’m glad you did.”

She lingered beside the bed, not moving toward the door. “Would you… like to have my phone number? In case you ever want to chat sometime…”

Ah, shit. She was getting attached. He’d hoped this wouldn’t happen. She was a nice enough girl and hot as fuck, but she wasn’t the kind of person he could start a relationship with. She was a mere assistant. They were important and he appreciated their work, but as head of the Gojo clan, there were certain expectations about who he should be with. And a girl with so little cursed energy she barely qualified as a an assistant at all was never going to be that person. 

He sighed. Best to just go ahead and rip the bandaid off than to let her get her hopes up. 

“Look, this was just a one time thing,” he said, keeping his voice even and flat. “A night of fun, remember? Nothing more.” He could see the hurt forming in her eyes, but he had to go on. It was for her own good. “You’re real sweet and all, but you and I… we’re just not compatible. Do you understand?”

She looked at him with her bright eyes turning wet. “I get it,” she said, her voice breaking slightly on the words. “I knew this was just a one night stand. Really, I did. But I just thought… maybe we could be friends.” She wiped her eyes as the first tears began to fall. “I’m sorry, that was really stupid of me. Someone like me could never be around someone like you.”

Before he could say anything in response, she ran out the door, not even closing it behind her. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, feeling every bit the asshole so many people accused him of being. He walked over and shut the door, then glanced at the floor, where something shimmery caught his eye. It was one of her earrings. He picked it up and shoved it into his pocket. He moved over to the bed, trying to avoid looking at the red stain in the middle, and picked up the sheet she’d wrapped herself in. It smelled like her, a sweet and bright fragrance. 

He flung the sheet down, shaking his head as if that would somehow shake her presence from his mind. He’d done the right thing, even if it hurt her. She’d get over it. Before long, he would just be a bad memory to her. Hopefully, she would eventually be reduced to a sweet memory for him. 

Tag List:

@snowprincesa1 @pandoraium @hitori979 @famousdestinyland @gloomysel @noodlejitsu @postmancat @lanecass @aquamarine001 @officialholyagua @lil-bexie

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, comment to let me know! You must be an adult! Either have your age in your bio or tell me specifically that you’re an adult please!

[a-silly-alterhuman]

Anyone who doesn't support astro listen up ok? (Especially the 2 blogs I will TRY and tag who I've been going back and forth with)

(THIS IS EDITTED I HAVE CHANGED MY OPINION)

I have changed my opinion on astro, after seeing more stuff and proof on astro abt the sexual harrasment I am grossed out and no one deserves that and it's gross. I do not support them ANYMORE I did at first tho which is what my other posts where abt. I still stand on being an anti endo ok? I understand spiritual practices can cause something like being a system or stuff that's non traumagenic but if you call yourself a system (did, osdd, p-did) as an endo and say it was formed not due to trauma is not real, you aren't a real system due to those disorders being formed due to CHILDHOOD trauma it cannot be formed not due to trauma. I'm sorry I had said most people I saw faking a disorder were afab, it's just a fact I have seen and stand by however I was not judging them based on that I usually judge people on how nice they are to a person or their vibe I was just stating and no I was not guessing they were afab I was going off what I saw on what they said on their accs not assuming. Astro is weird I will admit that and have unfollowed them I no longer support them due to those claims and evidence. Thank you for ur time. Have a good day. I will try and make this my last post abt astro.

( @imjustaf444keriguess , @alsoapparentlyaf444ker let me know if you don't want ur @ here I don't mind editing this.)

(Also astro if ur possibly reading this, hi! I'm (not really) sorry I stopped supporting you after defending you but you are weird with all that evidence and stuff)

[belle--ofthebrawl]

holy holy holy (Kinktober Day 4 combo: CNC/Anal)

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Swiss/Rain, Aeon/Rain

W/c: 3.6k

Tags: Consensual Non-Consent, Consensual Kink, Anal Sex, Rough Body Play, Rough Sex, Light Sadism, Non-Consensual Spanking, degradation kink, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Cuckolding, Revenge Sex, Angry Sex, Masochism, Painplay, Slut Shaming, Consensual manipulation?? consensual unhealthy relationship dynamic?? Trans Male Character

Summary:

Their eyes meet as the first droplets of Aeon's cum start leaking out to slip hot down the inside of his thighs.

“Heya toots.” Swiss drawls, looking at Rain with heavy lidded eyes. “You look like you had fun.”

Inspired by @divine-misfortune posting about Phantom/Aeon secretly taking his condom off mid-fuck to really feel how good Rain is. Well, I thought. If Swiss is Rain's boyfriend (see: if you want to, I can play the victim) he's probably not going to be too happy about that...

Think I covered all my bases in the tags but there is no check in and no in text discussion or use of safe words. This whole thing was set up in advance and Rain is enthusiastic about his own degradation and suffering. I did my best to imply that with certain lines but please let me know if I'm missing any tags or warnings. I want people to know what they're getting into but I'm not interested in inserting any pause so the characters can have the RACK talk. This is a fantasy scene that goes perfectly with nothing wrong.

Ao3 or Below.

Rain feels guilty leaving Aeon alone, but he promised Swiss not to spend the night. Besides, he rationalizes as he quietly closes the door behind him. Aeon had practically fallen asleep mid conversation. The wonders of good sex on an anxious soul.

“Fuck.” He mutters, resting against the wall and crossing his legs together. He doesn't have much time before it starts dripping out and he’s not keen on leaving an evidence trail behind on the hardwood flooring of the wing. What he needs to do is get to the showers, or even his own room and clean himself up as best he can before going to see Swiss. 

Whose room he has to pass on the way to either of those places. 

Whose door is open to show the light is still on. 

Who calls out to him as he tries to sneak past.

“Is that my sweetheart?” Swiss sounds so happy to see him. It only serves to worsen the guilt and shame twisting in his heart. “Lurking in the shadows doesn't suit you baby, come in and let me look at you.”

It's like Swiss has him enthralled in some kind of trance. Instead of telling him to wait, Rain enters his room. Shuts the door behind him and takes in the multi-ghoul lounging on his bed. He looks like he's just woken up and Rain’s heart melts at the sight of his soft smile and a sleepy expression.Their eyes meet as the first droplets of Aeon's cum start leaking out to slip hot down the inside of his thighs.

“Heya toots.” Swiss drawls, looking at Rain with heavy lidded eyes. “You look like you had fun.”

“I’m sorry,” Aeon whimpers in his mind as his hips stutter in their pace. Rain moans as a new heat begins spilling into him, so hot and thick and right. Lost to his own orgasm, he didn't notice how much wetter his cunt had gotten. If there was a single shred of sense, he put the feeling to being with a new, albeit unexpected, partner. “You just feel so good like this, just like- just like he said-”

Rain shivers. Swiss tilts his head with a lazy grin.

“Cold, honey? C’mere, let me warm you up.”

He doesn't want to let Swiss warm him up. Doesn't want his hands to go from rubbing his arms, to his chest, to between his legs; where that awful secret lies waiting to be discovered. But he's pulled by a force beyond him, something he wants to blame on pure habit and not the way Swiss’ eyes are glinting with unnatural light.

“Right where I want you.” He purrs as Rain crawls up on the bed next to him. “You were nice to him, right? Didn't bully the new kid too much?”

“Can I have a kiss?” Aeon asked. It started so innocently. A kiss as forfeit for losing, which Rain gave gladly. His kisses were easy, one of his best favors to give. And Aeon had been so sweet and shy as Rain pressed their mouths together. Aeon had certainly been kissed before but each time he acted like it was his first, color blooming on his cheeks as Rain pulled away.

“That's not encouraging me to win, you know.” He teased. “Anyone ever tell you how cute you are?”

“Psh.” Aeon replied, drawing his legs up to his chest, shifting uncomfortably. “All the time.’

“So why does it still give you a boner when I do it?” Rain smiles, laying down to get more comfortable, but more so Aeon can see the lines of his body as his clothing drapes and accentuates it. The dip of his waist, the gentle swell of his chest. Aeon seems especially entranced with the curve of his hip bone as the band of his pajama pants shifts to expose it.

“Uh.” Aeon says intelligently. “You're just…really pretty, I guess.”

“I feel as good as I look.” Rain teases, just to see the expression on his face.

“Swiss told me “ Aeon confesses and Rain throws his head back to laugh.

“Swiss likes to show off his treasures.” 

“Does he ever…I don't know, share?”

Maybe Rain shouldn't have been so surprised at what happened next. It was practically like he had asked to be taken advantage of.

“I was on my best behavior.” Rain says carefully as he falls into bed next to Swiss, who grabs him by the waist and pulls him close. Giving him no chance to wiggle away. “We played videogames. Talked about stuff.”

“Mm.” Swiss chucks the underside of his chin with a knuckle, pulls him in for a kiss. Rain shuts his eyes and prays Swiss can’t taste anything unusual as their tongue dab together, when Swiss kisses him deeper.

“You want me to leave so you can take care of that?” Rain asks with an arched eyebrow as Aeon covers his crotch and the obvious way his stiffy is poking up. “Or…I can stay and watch?”

Aeon whimpers, giving himself a squeeze. 

“Maybe…” Rain says with a lilt to his voice. “Maybe something else?’

Aeon looks at him with wide, innocent eyes and for the first time in his life, Rain understands what drew Swiss to him, all those years ago.

“There's my gorgeous Rainy baby.” Swiss says as Rain peels his clothes off without a second thought. “Never understood how anyone could look at you and think you had to be clothed all the time. Should keep you naked for everyone to look at and no one to touch.”

Rain watches from somewhere outside himself as Swiss' hands trail down his stomach, ticklish and feather light. 

“Wet for me already?” He laughs but the amusement leaves his eyes as he strokes between Rain’s folds to where the truth of his betrayal lies. His smile falls, face hardening as he crudely shoves two fingers inside, jostling Rain and making him yelp as Swiss scrapes against the walls of his cunt and withdraws. When he holds his fingers up in the light, Rain can't look at them.

He's adorable in his desperation to fuck Rain. So unused to the feeling of a warm and welcoming cunt around his cock instead of his own hand and some lotion. Fast, uncoordinated bunny humps that jostle Rain against the bed and nearly make him laugh at how single-mindedly Aeon is chasing his second orgasm. 

"Slow down!" Rain says with a laugh. "Savor it, I'm not going anywhere."

"Sorry..." Aeon replies meekly. His thrusts do slow down though, dragging his cock out until it slips out. "You feel so good, Rain...I can't help myself."

If he hadn't been too busy stroking his own ego over the compliment, maybe he would have noticed the way Aeon was moving. Nervous. Shaky. Maybe he would have heard the sticky sound of the condom being taken off. Maybe he would have felt the difference when Aeon slid back in and moaned so dizzily in raw pleasure. How his cock felt, rubbing inside him unprotected.

Too late for maybes.

“You easy little slut.” Swiss says, and smacks him. Smears Aeon's cum along his cheek and lower lip before he grabs Rain’s chin and digs his fingers so hard into the skin Rain swears he can hear it breaking. A thumb forces its way into his mouth and he lets it drag his jaw open wide for Swiss to inspect. A finger prods his tongue, his teeth, going in nearly too deep but Rain’s gag reflex has long been trained into suppression. Still, it tickles the back of his throat before Swiss takes his hand out just to slap him again. 

“Gave him your mouth too?” Swiss sneers. “You could have hidden that bruise if you hadn't been too damn lazy to clean yourself up before crawling back to me.”

Aeon had been meaner than Rain expected, pulling him by the hair to hold him still as his hips bucked frantically. Rain was out of his depth quicker than he expected, thinking he’d tease the little quintessence ghoul with his tongue longer, see how much he could take but the second Rain opened his mouth wide enough, Aeon took advantage and fed him his cock so fast it made Rain’s head spin. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck Rain-” 

Already, he's cumming; shooting fast and hot down his throat, cramming himself in as deep as he can. Rain’s face is crushed to his hips, delicate skin scraped by his hair as Aeon holds him tight to avoid spilling a single drop. He goes limp as Aeon shakes below him and finally lets go.

“You're so good at that.” Aeon breathes reverently and despite his loss of control, Rain preens at the praise. “Can I use my mouth on you? Can I taste you too?”

Hands are already tugging his sweats down, Aeon marveling at the way he's already shiny with slick, ready to be devoured. One finger pets down the center of his folds and before Rain can even think to say no, it's curling inside and Aeon is kissing his clit with clumsy enthusiasm.

One finger turns into two and what little control Rain has over the situation is long gone by the time he automatically chokes out “Condom, use a condom” when Aeon's naked cock brushes up against his thigh.

“Right! Sorry…” Aeon says quickly, sounding embarrassed. “It's okay though, right? I can fuck you?”

Rain opens his mouth to tell Aeon it's gone too far. He promised Swiss as long as they were together, no one else could have Rain’s body like that. But Aeon looks so hopeful as he uses one hand to hold the little foil packet to his mouth, carefully tearing it open with his teeth while the other tugs at his soft cock. The sight is so endearing and so different from how Swiss usually treats him. Bullying his way between Rain’s thighs and taking what he wanted. Aeon looked so helpless and sweet, even as his eyes fluttered shut from the pleasure of his own hand. What would his face look like when he slipped inside for the first time? And if he wore a condom, then…then it would be fine, right? Just like a toy. The small little dildo Swiss bought to see him blush at the sight of it.

And now here he was underneath someone else.

Excuses. Too much time thinking up the excuses and not enough time telling Aeon to back off because his cock is hard now, he's rolling the condom on with shaky fingers, plucking and settling the band until it sat comfortable. Falling on top of Rain with a clumsy kiss and clumsier thrusts. Keeping Rain’s mouth so full of his tongue he can't say no to the easy way his cock makes a home of his body when he finally slips inside.

“You know when I was bragging to him, that wasn't a fucking invitation to take you for a spin.” Swiss shoves him down, man handling Rain into a suitable position for what's about to happen next. “Just let it happen, you fucking whore.” Swiss spits when Rain kicks his legs and lets out a wail as he's easily dragged in, thrown over Swiss' lap. “Too late to fight back now, Rain .”

The first spank hits so hard his ears are left ringing. It doesn't get easier from there. Swiss is angry and he's taking his fury out on Rain’s body however he wants; spanks and scratches, pinches that will no doubt leave bruises scattered on his skin. Fingers are stuffed up his cunt again, scooping out cum that he’s forced to clean off until Swiss deems him empty enough.

“You're so damn loose.” Swiss hisses. “Can you even tell how many fingers I’m using?”

Rain moans and gets a cruel twist on his nipple for the effort.

“Four.” Swiss informs him. “But you're so stupid off someone else's cock you probably can't even count that high right now.’

He's spanked again. And again and again and again until his skin is no doubt cherry red and hot enough to split and bleed if Swiss keeps it up. He might, if Rain can't find a way to distract him from the single-minded focus Swiss has on hurting him. 

“ Please-” He mewls with a tremor to his voice. It's enough give Swiss pause, his hand coming to rest gently on the burning skin of his cheeks.

“Do you have something to say for yourself?” He asks, entirely neutral. Rain’s mind is long gone to the sensation, thoughts wrapped in fuzz and slow to surface but eventually he parses out something Swiss might like to hear.

“Remind me?” He asks hesitantly. “Remind my cunt…how much it loves you?”

“Oh, honey.” Swiss says kindly. “I think you're too stretched out for me to feel anything at this point. Don't you?”

He punctuates the statement with another slap and the dam inside Rain breaks, tears quickly overfilling and spilling down his face as Swiss swats him again. He isn't losing strength or stamina; if anything, his rage only makes him stronger and every single one of Rain's tears gives him another reason to keep spanking him.

“Be grateful I don't feel like using my belt.” He warns after an eternity of pain. Rain sniffles and shakes and nods, gasping out thank yous like Swiss expects. He's hot all over, throbbing with bruises already blooming and still, he doesn't think Swiss is quite done yet. Not by the hard jut of his cock in his pants, or the strong flex it gives when Rain peers up at him through tear-damp lashes. 

“Your mouth is better off apologizing. Pussy’s all used up.” Swiss gives him a leer, one that has Rain rolling off his lap in apprehension. Crawling back as the gears turn inside his lover’s head, drawing to a swift and terrible conclusion Rain can only guess at.

“Rainy, baby.” Swiss croons and Rain freezes at the sudden, loving tone. It proves to be his downfall, as Swiss lashes out. Grabbing him by the throat, just firm enough to hold, to trap. A thumb smooths over his gills as Swiss gives him a lascivious once-over. 

“You might have something I want after all.” He drawls with a nasty smile. One that makes Rain’s heart skip a beat as his stomach sinks. Swiss is already pushing him down, caging him in with his body and Rain can't run away. Doesn't want to run away because if he does, then he thinks he'll lose Swiss forever for this accident and he can't bear the thought of sleeping alone again. 

But he's not sure if he can do what Swiss wants him to either. 

“You gave me your first everything, baby.” Swiss says softly, stroking a fingertip up Rain's cheekbone. He twines a curl around his finger until it slips off. Brushes it to the side and kisses his forehead. “First kiss, first blowjob. First real fuck instead just fingers. You were so good at all of it, weren't you? Took to it all like you were born to be a slut.”

“But I'm yours.” Rain whispers, lips numb. He has to remind Swiss that underneath all the anger he still loves Rain. That at the end of the night, Rain still returned to him. That has to count for something, right?

“Yeah.” Swiss hums. “You're mine and I turned you into a real whore, didn't I?”

Swiss kisses him on the mouth, the first kindness shown to Rain ever since his secret was discovered. Carefully, so Swiss doesn't think he's about to fight back, Rain embraces him. Holds him close as Swiss gives him his tongue. He's a much better kisser than Aeon, though maybe it's just because he knows Rain so well. His legs part willingly and Swiss moans in approval. When they part, Rain searches his face for any trace of forgiveness, any hint that his ordeal will be over soon. He just wants his Swiss back.

“Roll over.” Is the only thing Swiss says. “I'll be taking what's mine now.”

“Swiss?” Rain asks. He gets a millisecond of Swiss looking at him before he's backhanded across the face. Rain cries out as he's forced onto his stomach, Swiss tossing him around as easily as a ragdoll. Hands are clapped to his sore asscheeks, nails digging in the new bruises as he’s spread and …and inspected. 

“You look wet here too.” Swiss murmurs, petting at the tight little hole Rain hardly thinks about. “But pink. New. At least you kept one thing safe for me.”

Swiss falls silent. Rain's tail twists around itself in anxiety, his ears straining for any hint about what might happen next.

Swiss spits on his hole and it's akin to an electric shock.

“Have you ever tried…you know.” Aeon asks. He's blushing. He just took Rain for the ride of his life and he's blushing.

“Anal?” Rain asks casually, feeling so worldly and experienced over the sweet new summon and his softening cock. The high of his orgasm has yet to fade, he has yet to look between his thighs and discover the selfish thing that sweet new summon did to him. “No. Swiss pesters me for it, but I don't know. I want to save it for a special occasion.”

“No.” Rain says, louder than he expects. Fear washes over him, cold and overwhelming. “No Swiss- you can't, not there, you can't.”

Swiss is laughing by the time Rain says his name, sharp and mirthless.

“I can't?” Swiss asks lowly. “I’m not the one you should be saying no to. Remember? You're mine.”  

Swiss sits his full weight on him, letting the weight of his clothed cock rest between his cheeks as threat. He leans over, grabbing Rain by the throat again to whisper his next words close.

"You go around acting like a slut, don't get upset when I fuck you like one. Whores don't get the luxury of choice." He's given a shake to let the message sink in before Swiss has his fingers prodding his lips, wiggling inside.

“Get them nice and soaked.” Swiss tells him. “Because that’s the only lube I'm giving you. I want you to hurt tonight.”

Like he isn't already. But he obeys. There's no way out but through it. Swiss rocks against him the entire time, moaning deep in appreciation of Rain's talented tongue. Keeping his cock pressed close so Rain can't forget the reason he's doing this. He shivers when Swiss takes his fingers out and trails them down his spine. Taps at the base, then even lower. Rain stops breathing as a pad rubs over the puckered skin of his hole, smooth and easy from how wet he is. No catching. 

"Maybe you don't need it after all." Swiss says thoughtfully, almost to himself. "Or maybe I don't think you deserve even that." The fingers leave and Rain breathes again. Only to gasp as the heavy weight of Swiss' cock smacks his bare skin.

“Scream.” Swiss orders breathlessly, wedging the fat head of his cock inside Rain’s unstretched hole. “Show me some appreciation for still wanting damaged goods.”

It's shocking how easily Swiss slides in, Rain’s body greedily gulping the thick length of him down like it was all he was ever meant to do. But Rain still screams, hiding his face into the mattress as Swiss forces his way deep inside. Everything else shuts off as his mind narrows in and focuses on the burn as Swiss' cock pushes him open, wider and wider . He feels so much bigger like this, taken where Rain had never let anyone go before. His hips slam in a cruel pace, too much and too fast, the sounds of their bodies so awful and loud.

“Slow down!” Rain cries. “You’re too big, it's not going to fit!’

“I'm making it fit.” Swiss says darkly. “Stop whining. It's your own fault I'm doing this, could have just kept your damn legs shut, could have just sucked his cock and been happy but no, you had to try and sneak around-”

Rain’s crying into the mattress now, sobbing and hiccuping as Swiss fucks him harder; carving Rain up with his nails, coring him hollow with his cock, chewing him up just to spit him back out. His whole world is Swiss, as it should be. 

Swiss, breathing hot in his ear. 

Swiss, warm and heavy on top of him. 

Swiss, using Rain however he wants, putting his cock wherever he wants because at the end of the day, Rain is his to play with.

No matter how much it hurts. 

And Rain will always allow it because it means Swiss loves him.

“M sorry!” Rain gasps, turning his head to the side for a breath of fresh air. “Swiss, please stop, I’m sorry!”

“You won't let it happen again?” Swiss growls. Despite Rain’s begging, he doesn't slow down. He goes harder. Meaner. Rain’s already given up but Swiss pushes him further into the mattress, pulls all the way out to groan at the way Rain’s hole gapes for him.

“No!” Rain wails, as Swiss drives the full length of his cock into him again, turning his answer into an extended cry for mercy. It's ignored. He's pulled up by a hand grasped tight to his hair, forcing him into a brutal arch as his ass is slapped, Swiss aiming to renew his already fading handprints.

“Keep. Apologizing.” He's jerked up higher, Swiss’ cock stuffed so far up into his guts he can't even breathe. “And keep telling me to stop. It makes my cock harder. Can't you feel it, sweetheart?"

He can't feel anything else.

“What do we say?” Swiss says, all sickly sweet. He kisses a tear off Rain’s flushed cheek.

“Thank you.” He hiccups miserably, feeling his cunt clench down on nothing. His clit feels swollen and hurts worst of all with how it needs so badly to be touched. He's so close. Swiss will keep him here, dancing on the edge for ages.

“Again.”

“Thank you.”