#non linear regression

[art-of-mathematics]

Title: "Non-linear regression in a blurry cloud of (un-) certainty"

Date: 2023/06/12 - Size: DIN A4

Collage made with torn pieces of paper, printed background paper (top is rather dark night sky, bottom is mererly clouds in pastel-colors)

I resized and printed the non-linear regression visualisation/illustration and put it on top of the watercolour background paper.

I included a scrap piece of paper with the title of the picture and have torn it with a spiral-shaped jag at the bottom, which I bent around the top part of the non-linear regression illustration.

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

1, 3, and 18 for kira! maybe more later but. for now that is enough i think /lh - idia

oh!!! Now is the time I hafta. Make my thoughts legible all at once!! jsjsj I will do. My best!

1 - Why do they wear diapers? (comfort? necessity?)

Hm! I think that. Perhaps Kira only Started wearing diapers out of. Almost necessity as in! [when he’s little] if he is very careful he doesn’t need them! But they are Definitely convenient for when he forgets to be careful he is just a baby after all!! Not his fault!! Also it was an. Easy conclusion to come to because he was Already wearing them at nighttime!

3 - How do they feel about wearing diapers? (shy? angry? chill?)

Hm… I think at first he is definitely. Very!! Shy he would never ever tell one of his friends that he needs something and they rely on Morgana to tattle on him!! He can always tell when something is wrong with the baby and he can deal with the embarrassed whining Kira will give him if it means rashes and infections are Avoided for another day!! Oh! And later on when Kira is more used to his diapers he is still shy but! He also has cute ones that he wants to brag about! It is a very Difficult situation [no it is not] and he is lucky his friends start to be able to read him better and can tell when he wants them to ask to check him or! If they r not quite comfy with checking him like that perhaps they ask to see his collection of unused diapers! And if he is too shy to show them off Just for that reason they will say “ooohh Kira we want to make sure you have plenty! So we know when we will have to buy more!!” Kira’s friends are very nice to him :)

18 - Do they have a diaper bag? What does it look like?

I have never actually!!!! Consider this before ough hm… I think that. Everyone Else does. For him with varying levels of obviousness. No one has like. The kind of bag Made for diapers it is more like they have all the supplies he might need in whatever bag they might normally use like!! And this is the only specific example but Haru definitely has one of those really cute bags people use for like. Ita bags and it is specifically for Kira’s baby things [she is Very prepared all the time] she probably has. A Few bags [rich] but she never mixes them up because This one has a. Special charm on it!! Maybe Kira made it for her when he was little or maybe it just reminds her of him but! Even with the charm she always checks inside the bag before going out!

Mmm think that is all. From me for now!! Hope you like my silly little thoughts 🤍

[tchaikovskym]

when professors don't know the difference between correlation and regression and ask for a line in my correlation plot

HI I AM IN PAIN

[raffaellopalandri]

Daily writing promptWhat have you been working on?View all responses One of the ideas I have been working on most recently is creating a mathematical and statistical model to analyze and forecast the efficiency and performance of an Agile team both at team and individual levels. I am opting for a combination of random forests, gradient boosting, and neural networks (i.e. Machine Learning)…

[demiboy-dean-winchester]

why is statistical analysis so boringggg

R studio explode challenge

[classpectanon]

Understanding Skaia's Omniscience

What Exactly Does Omniscience Mean in This Context?

In the context of Homestuck, omniscience refers to the ability to know everything within the universe, including all possible events and outcomes. Skaia, as an omniscient entity, possesses complete knowledge of all timelines, potential actions, and their consequences. This knowledge is not acquired through sequential thought processes but exists as a unified, simultaneous understanding of the entire scope of the universe.

Unlike typical human understanding, which processes information linearly (one event leading to another), Skaia's omniscience encompasses all possible realities at once. This means Skaia knows every possible outcome of every possible action, including those that never come to pass. However, it is important to note that while Skaia is omniscient, it is not omnipotent. It cannot directly alter events but can influence them indirectly by changing the spatiotemporal coordinates of meteors it redirects.

Skaia's intelligence is nonhuman, meaning it does not process information or make decisions in a way that humans do. This non-linearity in thought means Skaia doesn't "think" sequentially. Instead, it possesses all knowledge simultaneously, akin to a field—a pervasive presence of potential knowledge.

Skaia can be seen as the singularity form of Paradox Space, a field encompassing all potential events and outcomes. While Paradox Space represents the broader field, Skaia is the concentrated point of omniscience within this field. Or they're indistinguishable, it doesn't matter that much.

Thought Experiments Related to Omniscience

To further explore the implications of omniscience, let's consider some common thought experiments and how they relate to Skaia:

The Omniscient Observer Paradox

If Skaia knows everything, does it include the thoughts and actions of every character? Does this negate free will? In Homestuck, characters operate under a deterministic framework until the narrative's conclusion. Skaia's knowledge encompasses all possible actions and outcomes, suggesting that characters' choices are part of a larger predetermined system.

The Infinite Regression Problem

Can Skaia simulate its own reality infinitely? Skaia's nature transcends typical computational analogies. It doesn't simulate events sequentially but exists as a field of infinite knowledge. This sidesteps the problem of infinite regression, where a system would need to simulate itself endlessly.

The Limits of Omniscience

Is there anything Skaia doesn't know? By definition, Skaia's omniscience means it knows everything within its universe. However, its lack of omnipotence introduces a limitation: it cannot change everything it knows. It can only act through meteor redirection, highlighting a boundary between knowledge and power.

Q&A on Skaia's Omniscience

Q: What does it mean for Skaia to be omniscient but not omnipotent?

A: Omniscience refers to the ability to know everything, including all possible events and outcomes. Omnipotence, on the other hand, is the ability to do anything. Skaia's omniscience allows it to understand every potential event and its consequences, but it can only act by adjusting the trajectories of meteors, thus influencing events indirectly.

Q: How does Skaia's nonhuman intelligence differ from human intelligence?

A: Human intelligence typically involves linear thought processes, where ideas and decisions follow a sequential order. Skaia, however, exists outside of this linear framework. Its intelligence is more like a field, akin to gravity, where all knowledge and outcomes are known simultaneously without a sequential thought process.

Q: How do Skaia and Paradox Space relate to each other?

A: Paradox Space can be understood as the overarching field of all possible timelines and events. Skaia, within this context, acts as the singularity (like a black hole)—a concentrated point where all this knowledge converges. Together, they form a comprehensive system of omniscience in the Homestuck universe.

Q: How does Skaia's omniscience affect the narrative structure of Homestuck?

A: Skaia's omniscience ensures that only significant timelines persist, preventing paradoxes and maintaining narrative coherence.

Q: Can Skaia's omniscience be considered a form of predestination?

A: Yes, Skaia's omniscience can be seen as a form of predestination. Since it knows all possible outcomes and prunes timelines to prevent paradoxes, the events that occur are part of a predetermined structure that Skaia maintains.

Q: Does Skaia's omniscience extend beyond the universe of Homestuck?

A: Theoretically, yes. While it can be assumed that Skaia is only capable of understanding information within its own schema, this does not preclude the possibility of Skaia being able to simulate the concept of observers. After all, omniscience means OMNIscience. It knows everything. It's unintuitive in many of the ways that other forms of infinity are.

thx 4 reading

[hd-erised]

H/D Erised Fic: In a Year's Turning

Author: Anonymous Recipient: @maraudersaffair Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: Explicit Word Count: ~89,000 Tags: exes-to-lovers, non-linear narrative, getting back together, mutual pining, parenthood, kid fic, Harry Potter raises Teddy Lupin, age regression/de-aging, single parent Harry Potter, bisexual disaster Harry Potter, gay Draco Malfoy, unusual jobs, Christmas fluff, domestic fluff, they’re very soft, angst, grief/mourning, parenting difficulties, magically powerful Harry Potter, magically powerful Teddy Lupin, gardens & gardening, Magical Theory (Harry Potter), accidental magic (Harry Potter), ghosts, house magic, sentient magical houses (Harry Potter), cooking as a metaphor for love, bonding magic, cooperative magic, wandless magic (Harry Potter), past minor Charlie Weasley/Harry Potter, past minor Justin Finch-Fletchley/Harry Potter, there are two beds but they’re sharing one, amateur falconry, previous breakup, drinking, smoking, explicit sexual content, dom/sub undertones, rough sex, dirty talk, begging, mpreg, pregnancy kink, medium burn, switching, anal sex, blow jobs, rimming, first time, intercrural sex, hand jobs, frottage

Summary: With Andromeda gone, Harry is suddenly a single parent and struggling with a grieving kid.  When Draco offers help, Harry accepts.  It’s been nine years. Surely, Harry can handle Draco being back—for Teddy’s sake.   

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of JK Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. 

In a Year's Turning

[covid-safer-hotties]

Long COVID symptom severity varies widely by age, gender, and socioeconomic status - Published Sept 2, 2024

By Dr. Sushama R. Chaphalkar, PhD.

In a recent study published in the journal JRSM Open, researchers analyze self-reported symptoms of long coronavirus disease 2019 (LC) from individuals using a healthcare app to examine the potential impact of demographic factors on the severity of symptoms. The researchers found that LC symptom severity varied significantly by age, gender, race, education, and socioeconomic status.

Research highlights the urgent need for targeted interventions as age, gender, and social factors play a crucial role in the intensity of long COVID symptoms. What factors increase the risk of long COVID? Several months after recovering from coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), patients with LC may continue to suffer from numerous symptoms, some of which include fatigue, brain fog, and chest pain. The prevalence of LC varies, with estimates ranging from 10-30% in non-hospitalized cases to 50-70% in hospitalized patients.

Although several digital health interventions (DHIs) and applications have been developed to monitor acute symptoms of COVID-19, few have been designed to track long-term symptoms of the disease. One DHI called "Living With COVID Recovery" (LWCR) was initiated to help individuals manage LC by self-reporting symptoms and tracking their intensity. However, there remains a lack of evidence on the risk factors, characteristics, and predictors of LC, thereby limiting the accurate identification of high-risk patients to target preventive strategies.

About the study In the present study, researchers investigate the prevalence and intensity of self-reported LC symptoms to analyze their potential relationship with demographic factors to inform targeted interventions and management strategies. To this end, LWCR was used to monitor and analyze self-reported LC symptoms from individuals in 31 LC clinics throughout England and Wales.

The study included 1,008 participants who reported 1,604 unique symptoms. All patients provided informed consent for the use of their anonymized data for research.

Multiple linear regression analysis was used to explore the relationship between symptom intensity and factors such as time since registration, age, ethnicity, education, gender, and socioeconomic status through indices of multiple deprivation (IMD) on a scale of one to 10.

Education was classified into four levels denoted as NVQ 1-2, NVQ 3, NVQ 4, and NVQ 5, which reflected those who were least educated at A level, degree level, and postgraduate level, respectively. The intensity of symptoms was measured on a scale from zero to 10, with zero being the lowest and 10 the highest intensity. Descriptive statistics identified variations in symptom intensity across different demographic groups.

Study findings Although 23% of patients experienced symptoms only once, 77% experienced symptoms multiple times. Corroborating with existing literature, the most prevalent symptoms included pain, neuropsychological issues, fatigue, and dyspnea, which affected 26.5%, 18.4%, 14.3%, and 7.4% of the cohort, respectively. Symptoms such as palpitations, light-headedness, insomnia, cough, diarrhea, and tinnitus were less prevalent.

Fifteen most prevalent LC symptoms. Multiple linear regression analysis revealed that symptom intensity was significantly associated with age, gender, ethnicity, education, and IMD decile. More specifically, individuals 68 years of age and older reported higher symptom intensity by 32.5% and 86%, respectively. These findings align with existing literature that highlights the increased risk of LC symptoms with age, which may be due to weakened immunity or the presence of comorbidities. Thus, they emphasize the need for targeted interventions for this population.

Females also reported higher symptom intensity than males, by 9.2%. Non-White individuals experienced higher symptom intensity by 23.5% as compared to White individuals.

Individuals with higher education levels reported up to 47% reduced symptom intensity as compared to those with lower education levels. Higher IMD deciles, which reflect less deprived areas, were associated with lower symptom intensity; however, no significant association was observed between the number of symptoms reported and the IMD decile.

Regression results with 95% confidence interval. Note: For age, the base group is people in the age category 18–27. For IMD, the base group is people from IMD decile 1. For education, the base group is people who left school before A-level (NVQ 1–2). A significant positive association was observed between symptom intensity and the duration between registration on the app and initial symptom reporting. This finding suggests individuals may become more aware of their symptoms or that worsening symptoms prompt reporting.

Some limitations of the current study include the lack of data on comorbidities, hospitalization, and vaccine status. There is also a potential for bias against individuals lacking technological proficiency or access, which may affect the sample's representativeness, particularly for older, socioeconomically disadvantaged, or non-English-speaking individuals. Excluding patients with severe symptoms or those who were ineligible for the app may also skew the findings.

Conclusions There remains an urgent need to develop targeted interventions to address the severity of LC in relation to age, ethnicity, and socioeconomic factors. LC treatment should prioritize prevalent symptoms like pain, neuropsychological issues, fatigue, and dyspnea while also considering other possible symptoms. Furthermore, sustained support for LC clinics is essential to effectively manage the wide range of symptoms and complexities associated with LC and improve public health outcomes in the post-pandemic era.

Journal reference:

Sunkersing, D., Goodfellow, H., Mu, Y., et al. (2024). Long COVID symptoms and demographic associations: A retrospective case series study using healthcare application data. JRSM Open 15(7). doi:10.1177/20542704241274292.

journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20542704241274292

[nebulouscoffee]

The thing about Kai Winn's storyline ultimately being a tragedy is, it's not only a tragedy because her fate (in the eyes of the non-linear Prophets) was already known and nothing she did or said was ever going to make them acknowledge her- not only because she wanted so badly to have a big role to play in the grand, historic story of the newly independent Bajor and just couldn't handle the fact that she was never meant to- not only because the Prophets spoke to Sisko and Bareil and Kira and literally even Quark but not her- not only because she was deceived and raped and killed in the end- but most of all because, it was partly her love of Bajor that killed her.

Think about it- her whole regression during that final arc with Dukat is so tragic precisely because she was THIS close to redemption! Throughout the show, we see that her brain processes information in very rigid, binary ways: if you are not my ally, then you are my enemy. If you disagree with even one of my opinions, you are my enemy. If you refuse to endorse and support me in this mission, you are my enemy. That's part of why she's so easily swayed by fascist rhetoric, I think- she's just unable to cope with nuance. (This is foreshadowed in 'Shakaar', where she puts the whole of Bajor under martial law just because Shakaar disagreed with her over how she was handling soil reclamators.) Her personal narrative is I am the one who will save Bajor -> anyone who gets in my way is my enemy and therefore an enemy of Bajor -> I must stop them using any force necessary for the good of Bajor because I am after all the one who will save Bajor.

But when Sisko discovers the city of B'hala in 'Rapture', she is for the first time forced to accept the truth that he really hasn't been faking this whole "talks to the Prophets" thing- he's the real deal. We learn later on (when she tells "Anjohl" about how she honestly felt nothing the first time she saw the wormhole open) that a small, small part of her actually always doubted the existence of the Prophets. Now, she is faced with definitive proof that they are not only very real, but they also really do have a bond with Sisko. And for a while, she even comes to terms with this! In fact, at the end of the episode, she and Kira have possibly their first completely honest exchange:

KIRA: Maybe we're the ones who need to trust the Prophets. For all we know, this is part of their plan. Maybe they've told Captain Sisko everything they want him to know.  WINN: Perhaps. I suppose you heard that Bajor will not join the Federation today. The Council of Ministers has voted to delay acceptance of Federation membership.  KIRA: You must be very pleased.  WINN: I wish I were. But things are not that simple. Not anymore. Before Captain Sisko found B'hala, my path was clear. I knew who my enemies were. But now? Now nothing is certain.  KIRA: Makes life interesting, doesn't it?

Like, YASS babygirl- you too can learn to handle nuance!! I believe in you!!💪💪

And later on, at the onset of the Dominion War, she comes to Sisko for advice herself. She doesn't want to see her planet colonised again, and she's even willing to put aside her desire to be the main character to ensure it doesn't happen. Driven by pride and the need for power as she is, she is also driven by the desire save Bajor (and preferably be the one saving Bajor, which is the subsection of this desire that ultimately ends up being her downfall) - and she does briefly decide that cooperating with the Emissary is the best way to do this! I think about this scene from 'In The Cards' so much:

WINN: ... I have asked the Prophets to guide me, but they have not answered my prayers. I even consulted the Orb of Wisdom before coming here and it has told me nothing. So I come to you, Emissary. You have heard the voice of the Prophets. You were sent here to guide us through troubled times. Tell me what to do and I will do it. How can I save Bajor?  SISKO: You want my advice? Then this is it. Stall. Tell Weyoun you have to consult with the Council of Ministers, or that you have to meditate on your response. Anything you want, but you have to stall for time.  WINN: Time for what?  SISKO: I don't know. But I do know the moment of crisis isn't here yet, and until that moment arrives we have to keep Bajor's options open. I'm aware that this is difficult for you, given our past, but this time you have to trust me.  (Winn holds Sisko's left ear.)  WINN: Very well, Emissary. We put ourselves in your hands. May we all walk with the Prophets.

In the earlier seasons, Winn would often casually make claims that the Prophets had "told her" something, or that she was just "doing what the Prophets asked"- and her political position as Kai always allowed her to just lie about being in contact with them all the time. Now, you can see the sheer humility- the embarrassment, even- on her face as she (for the first time) openly admits to Sisko that she has never actually heard them speak before; and that they clearly "prefer" him. Yes, there's some (understandable imo) bitterness here- but not at him, at THEM. And when she tries to read his pagh at the end- something she probably does to dozens of people every day, most of whom would unquestioningly believe anything she declares afterwards- she doesn't even try to pretend she felt anything there. It's one of her most genuine moments in the whole show, you can just SEE the redemption arc in reach and it's so heartbreaking!!

I think 'The Reckoning' is a huge episode for her too, for many reasons- but let's talk about how it sets up this fascinating parallel between her and Kira (who Odo describes in this episode as having "both faith and humility"). The Prophets choose Kira as their "vessel" because she was "willing"- meanwhile, Winn was right there just begging to be a part of this! Here she is, with a Prophet right in front of her face- and she prays and postures and begs and prays some more, all just to get ignored. Kira's brand of faith is very, "I am ultimately insignificant and I surrender my power and my body and pagh to the Prophets"- Winn's is more, "if I do all the right things, then I will be able to prove to the Prophets that I am worthy of their attention, worthier than everyone else, and maybe then they'll appoint me the saviour of Bajor! It's My Destiny, You See!! (Why Isn't This Happening For Me??)" And the events of this episode are kind of a big slap in the face to her honestly, because they sort of prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Prophets have no interest in her. Maybe stopping the battle was also an attempt at regaining some kind of agency with them- I DID THIS, I pulled a switch and it had a direct effect on the Prophets, so there!! (Whatever that effect entails). She does care about Bajor. Of course she does. But her ideal configuration of Bajor involves her being a major player in its salvation, which she was just never meant to be. And this is why she's so tragically susceptible to Dukat's manipulation- he was the first person ever to tell her everything she always wanted to hear.

And the intriguing thing about Dukat's deception is, it doesn't all fall apart at one go. It falls apart in layers. And this makes for some excellent, excellent Winn characterisation imo.

First, she thinks the pah wraiths are the Prophets- and they tell her, hey, The Sisko has faltered, Bajor needs you, and only you can fix this. Good lord, imagine finally getting to hear those words after a lifetime of silence! And it's very telling that her first reaction isn't to gloat like she would've in the earlier seasons, but instead to humbly- even anxiously- pray. Bajor needs her, the "Prophets" have asked her to do something, this is her moment! Then, this random lovely Bajoran farmer comes in and tells her even more things she has always wanted to hear- that her activism during the Occupation (ignored by Kira and Sisko alike) saved lives, that he always wondered why the Prophets would choose an alien as their Emissary, that surely Sisko and his followers were mistaken- and finally, "our world will be reborn- with YOU as its leader". Sounds good, right? But THEN she finds out she's been speaking to the pah wraiths and the lovely farmer is a devil worshipper actually. And she tries the "wash away my sins" approach- she wants some kind of quick fix ritual that will "purify" her, so she can continue to be Kai the right way. She even admits to Kira that she's always been power hungry and she wants to change- and I believe her! Unfortunately, Kira then tells her something she doesn't want to hear- that she has to step down as Kai. And surely that can't be, right? She's the saviour of Bajor! She's so complex... it's not simply her love of power that this scene reveals imo, but more significantly, her inability to see herself as not a vital part of Bajor's history; of this whole larger narrative. Like-

WINN: I'm a patient woman. But I have run out of patience. I will no longer serve gods who give me nothing in return. "GIVE ME"!! ADAMI MY BESTIE MY GIRL MY BUDDY THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM!!!

So, okay, fine, now she's swayed over to the side that maybe the Prophets aren't that great, and maybe the pah wraiths are the true gods of Bajor (because they were willing to talk to her), and maybe she's okay working with the devil worshipper. But then it turns out he's DUKAT- and at this point, she's literally murdered someone, she's ready to stop this, to go back to Sisko and set things right- but then the book of the Kosst Amojan lights up because of the blood she spilled. She did that. It happened as a direct result of her actions. She's just so desperate to be acknowledged... to have a role to play in all this, no matter who offers it to her. So the pah wraiths actually giving her a reaction isn't something she can resist. And here's where things get even more tragic.

WINN: But the prophecies! They warn that the release of the Pah wraiths will mean the end of Bajor.  DUKAT: The old Bajor, perhaps. But from its ashes a new Bajor will arise and the Restoration will begin.  WINN: Who will be left to see it?  DUKAT: Those the gods find worthy. It will be the dawn of paradise. And you, Adami, are destined to rule it.  WINN: You're sure of that?  DUKAT: It is meant to be.

Again with the ease at which she's swayed by fascist rhetoric! Let's be clear, she was (and is) absolutely against the Cardassian Occupation. But her worldview is built on the pursuit of being "worthier" than everyone else, of being "closer to god" than everyone else- her expectation of faith is that it's some sort of determiner of who's doing it The Most Effectively, rather than it being a practice- and she just completely misses that any sort of plan that executes masses and spares whoever is deemed "worthy" is... literally exactly what people like Dukat did to her planet. Something something faith as competition, faith as determiner of inherent superiority, faith as a way to gain power via proximity to god… never faith as submission. And the worst part is she’s self-aware. It’s heartbreaking.

And it's about to get even more heartbreaking, because she truly believes she has arrived at her girlboss moment in the finale (I think the tragedy of her being a rape victim and knowing this and having to hide the body of the one (1) person who was looking out for her while being stuck with her rapist speaks for itself.) After kicking Dukat out on the street (lol), she studies the eeevil texts and realises that to set the pah wraiths free, you need to make a sacrifice. So now she gets to deceive him in return. And she does! The look of shock on his face when he discovers she poisoned him is priceless imo, and her triumph as she taunts his dead body, the sheer joy on her face as she casts off her Kai robes, when she recites those incantations and something actually happens- and that too such a large pyrotechnic spectacle- is so sad knowing what's coming. Because ultimately, the pah wraiths want to destroy Bajor, right? And Winn just doesn't. Of course they don't choose her. Of course they choose Dukat over her! She really thought that by tricking and murdering him, she'd made him the unimportant piece of the puzzle, that she was stealing back his thunder- but tragically, it turns out even the pah wraiths see her as disposable. Of course they resurrect Dukat (a man who's proved time and time again that he wants to see Bajor & Bajorans destroyed) and turn her into the sacrifice. The way she screams "NO!" here breaks my heart- she's betrayed her planet, and it was all for nothing. (Dukat's "are you still here?" is particularly devastating.) I think it's very significant that her final words are "Emissary, the book!"- it shows that in her last moments, she's owning her mistakes- she's stepping away from power and putting Bajor first, and leaving her own fate in the hands of the Prophets. Who, of course, once again ignore her, and choose to save Sisko instead. God.

The utter tragedy that even in the pah wraiths' plan, she was just a pawn. That she died at the hands of the gods she thought chose her, but used her, all while the gods she'd coveted her whole life stood by and did nothing. The Prophets chose Sisko because they believed he would put Bajor's interests over even his own- and now they ensure he will be back one day to see the new Bajor. She never will.

Yes, it was her pride that got her here. Her mean streak. Her inability to cope with nuance. Her inability to see herself as ultimately insignificant. Her inability to surrender to a higher power in any way that didn't involve becoming more powerful herself; more relevant, more "close to god". But it was also her love of Bajor. Because if she'd cared about Bajor less, then maybe the pah wraiths might have chosen her- or at least spared her, or taken her to their realm after she burned, the way they did with Dukat. Now, she ends up being the one thing she never wanted to be: insignificant.

Honestly if I had to summarise the tragedy of her arc in one sentence, it would probably be Kai Winn: Too Evil For The Prophets, Not Evil Enough For The Pah Wraiths. She and Dukat are not the same! She is a perfectly pathetic, sad and wet blorbo and I am holding her gently in my hands while apologising for her crimes <3

[dinoburger]

the kind of white approach to local history that we have with this kind of guilt and penitence doesn't really do much to help rebuild and reinforce better social structures for our indigenous neighbours...

you know like. some folks treat it like it is just too hard or depressing to examine thoroughly. we get the idea that we are just contaminants to the "purer" cultures that exist, universally. or that doing this kind of research is like... valiant and noble, rather than, idk, just a necessity to really understanding what it is we're dealing with here. it doesn't do anything except cement racial boundaries even further, and prevents us from looking at our non-white counterparts as anything but objects of pity, exotic features of the land or places of charity.

it's not easy to read up on, no. but, you know, in Talking to My Country, for instance, Stan Grant's accounts of his older white relatives who chose Aboriginal partners and chose to live in poverty are incredibly moving. When he talks about feeling less othered when he's traveling outside Australia, because there's none of the local bias and baggage.

Hidden in Plain View: The Aboriginal People of Coastal Sydney is also proving to be a very interesting read in regards of like... putting forward a very non-linear, varied and diverse history of early cross-cultural relations that in some ways only became more regressive when racism became more and more codified in the later century.

Like I definitely understand where this comes from, especially when there's been so many attempts to revise history from the white saviour perspective - but I think a lot of the time going to the other extreme of dividing the "purer culture" from the rest of history has a lot of the same pitfalls in drawing and supporting strict racial boundaries.

Like. I think I'll probably live here the rest of my life, if I have the chance. Or at least even while I'm still here, I don't think it will do any good to just view my existence as parasitic and stew in guilt over it, when there's much more work to be done in reparations - cultural and historical reparations, environmental and land reparations, welfare reparations, housing reparations, so on and so forth.

White identity needs to be broken. I think we can only meaningfully challenge that by looking at who it really seeks to benefit when we enforce it either way.

[art-of-mathematics]

Non-linear thoughts about non-linear regression and the Poincare-Recurrence Theorem... what a foggy and dusty mind looping into itself... idk I indulge in nonsense again... #nonsensespiral

[bayesic-bitch]

Re the previous post:

If it wasn't clear, I'm a computer scientist and I do computer science research, but my background is in physics. And I think I'm really still a physicist at heart in the way I approach problems. I don't have the deep focus on rigor like mathematicians do, but I do really want to understand how systems behave in certain limits. It's not important to me that we have an ironclad proof of convergence rate for neural nets, but I do care that they approximate kernel methods in the infinite limit.

And I find myself cultivating a bag of mathematical tricks for applying to problems like we did in physics (especially dualities between different problem formulations), which none of my non-physics peers seem to do. Eg, I really like the kernel trick because it allows us to reframe low-dimensional non-linear regression problems as high-dimensional linear regression problems. And similarly for mirror descent, which allows us to turn reinforcement learning problems into gradient descent problems on the space of probability distributions. Or the connection between f-divergence regularized policy optimization and Monte Carlo Tree Search.

In general I feel like I'm drawn to learning about new areas of research more by what mathematical tools they can provide than how good results they get. Which is definitely not true of any of the other researchers I know. I'm not sure yet if this is a good approach (I know I publish less than other students who churn out lots of small optimizations), but I'm hoping that it pays off in the long run.

[cbk1000]

And part three. (Final part; sorry this is so long: it has been a fucking long four months.)

No problem, Doctor Dipshit, I guess I'll just do your job and continue treating myself.

After my period ends, my heart rate drops again. It's still not as low as it should be, but it's much better. I continue to gradually improve. It's not a linear process; some days are better than others, but I never feel as bad as I did at the beginning of all this. My main issue is really my heart rate at this point; I'm no longer dizzy, I don't have the extreme weakness I had, my nausea is gone, I'm sleeping much better, and I'm a lot less tired than I was even before all this started. But the high heart rate keeps me still mostly bedbound, and I'm gnashing my teeth, because at this point I feel well enough to be mad about it, instead of just lying in bed trying to stave off death.

I finally start turning a corner, almost three months into taking supplements. My heart rate is consistently lower; even my last period wasn't as rough. (I felt a little worse than I had been, but my heart rate didn't spike, and I mostly just felt more run down than I normally would during my period.)

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been able to sit and stand and walk around for much longer, and I was finally, after months, able to start writing again. My heart rate is still a bit higher than it should be, and I have chest pain and tightness that radiates into my throat (it almost feels like an asthma attack) if I exert myself too much, but I can sit up for a good couple, few hours at a time, then lie down for a few minutes till those symptoms improve, and then get back up again. It is more exhausting to do things because of this, but I still, honestly, feel less tired than when I was a fully functioning, 'normal' person, and I've noticed that the horrible, frequent anxiety attacks I was having multiple times a week, out of nowhere, with no trigger, haven't happened since I started supplementing. I have been stressed, of course, but not baselessly anxious. Apparently iron deficiency can cause or worsen anxiety, so the anxiety I was having for the last couple of years that I attributed to all the changes at work, and how generally stressful the world has been, was also likely related to this.

Today, three and a half months after starting iron supplements, I'm writing this sitting up at my computer. I have some chest pain, but right now it's more of an annoyance than anything, and I can push through for a while before I'll need to lie down for a bit. The last week I have been able to write 27,000 words, animatedly play a video game I'm into at the moment (I shout a lot when I play), take Seamus outside multiple times a day while Mr. Jenn is at work (albeit for very short walks around the backyard, but still), edit, and concentrate on my reading. I can now sit out and eat dinner at our countertop and visit with Mr. Jenn. I spend more time up now than I do in bed. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment with a non-lunatic, and will hopefully be able to get medical clearance to finally return to work (Mr. Jenn and I have rigged up my desk so that I can recline and still see my monitors and work if I need more than my allotted breaks to rest) and an order for an iron infusion to get me the rest of the way more quickly. It has been the longest four months of my life. I have felt trapped in my own body. There were points during that constant back and forth of regressing a bit, improving a bit, regressing a bit, that I was afraid I would be stuck like that forever. I've had enough of consistently being on my feet day after day over the last few weeks that, while I'm not yet at 100% and know it will still probably be a while before I am, I know I will be, eventually. I actually feel confident in that now.

What I mean to say with these three very long-winded posts is, please do not ignore what your body is telling you. I wrote off the extreme fatigue, and anxiety, and burning and tingling I was feeling in my legs and feet as poor sleep, the world going to shit, muscle strain, etc. etc. That was my body trying to tell me something was really wrong. I did not know these were symptoms of iron deficiency; and not everyone gets them, and not everyone gets such severe symptoms that their entire body shuts down and confines them to bed for months: but there was something wrong with me, probably for years, and I ignored that, and wrote it off, because the symptoms were non-specific, and I'd lived with them for so long that I normalized them. If you are having any of these symptoms, especially fatigue, especially if you're menstruating, and especially especially if most of your iron sources aren't from meat, please get an iron panel done. Not your CBC; that will only tell you if your hemoglobin is ok, and I can tell you, as exhibit A, that just because your hemoglobin is normal, does not mean you don't have iron deficiency. B12 deficiency will cause some of these same symptoms as well, so if you're vegetarian, definitely get that checked as well.

The only reason I was able to put two and two together was because I had had similar cardiac issues after a blood donation, when it was easy to go, "Wait, I think you bled too much; let's put some iron back in you." I don't want to think about how long I might have been stuck like this getting booted from specialist to specialist with no one thinking to check my iron levels because my hemoglobin was normal. If you do not have enough of this one single mineral in your body, it can literally be debilitating. I work a desk job from home; I have been out of work for four months now because I haven't even been able to sit up at a desk. I actually ran out of legally-protected medical leave a month ago and am just lucky that my employer wants to keep me enough that they were willing to put me on personal leave until I was ready to come back.

Anyway, that is my extremely long update. I sincerely appreciate everyone who has checked in on me and asked how I'm doing.

[books-with-jules]

I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN

by Joanne Greenberg

Psychology, Dark, Emotional, Slow-Paced

★★★★★(4.75)

i never promised you a rose garden is a slow-paced, semi autobiographical novel in which Greenberg gives her readers insight into the schizophrenic mind of teenage girl, Deborah Blau in approximately 1948 to 1951, written originally in 1964. Many describe the story as Deborah's three-year battle with schizophrenia, but it really is specifically the confrontation with her inner world, understanding its roots, and understanding that there is a world beyond that she can be a more present part of. She has battled for much longer than three years, but this book is watching her regressions and recoveries as she understands herself and her place.

The writing style and vocabulary used was eloquent and college-level, and painted a vast outer and inner setting, which was very important as the character's state of mind and mental space is an important part of understanding the plot. The plot is realistic in terms of the non-linear road to mental "unsick" and health. The story is character driven and, in tandem with the plot, of course, complex and rocky. I love the psychiatrist, Furii, and I thoroughly enjoyed Miss Carol's appearances throughout the story, and there are no characters who I feel could have been developed better. Everything felt well done and tied together very well. The ending was perfect; I only wish we got to see a little of Deborah's family relationship dynamics and how they change with her resolution.

Reading a novel about a teenage girl with schizophrenia and getting to see some of the inner workings from an author who has experience with the illness as someone who lives with it is unique to read because a lot of time the portrayal is based on second hand experience and, like autism, may reflect all of the negatively viewed traits, rather than show every aspect objectively. My own personal quarrel with the mental illness part is as an unlicensed, book-educated reader, it seems as if Deborah is actually suffering from a delusional disorder of sorts, not of schizophrenia specifically, but the book was written in 1964, and as I've said, I am not a licensed professional and cannot give official input.

The writing style gives a feel like the author learned or mostly communicated in English in college-level or professional settings and, likewise, used complex language that made reading a bit tricky to navigate and retain at first, but I learned many new words, so that's a plus. The writing flowed smoothly and the way Greenberg described everything felt prose-y in some places and poetic in others. Her descriptions made for intricate visualizations and much empathy with all the emotion with her language.

The plot is very much character-driven, being that we are following Deborah's road to mental stability. I appreciate her struggle to come to terms with many of her beliefs that she came to understand were characteristic of the inner reality she's lived for so long and breaking away to find her footing in reality as someone without strong delusions understands it. She gets better and she gets worse. She moves on from being a slave to her own mind and creations to taking more control and also asking for help when she feels she is losing it. We see her regressions and her recoveries, and there is more than one hill to climb because progress is never linear, not in the real world. The plot is beautiful and terrible. It is a great, intense read.

I've never been in a mental hospital or rehabilitation center, so I don't personally know of the customs, but Greenberg does a beautiful job of explaining and reiterating the social norms of the wards, what behavior is "allowed", not "allowed", How different life seems in the wards and what life in the "real world" looks like from inside those doors. I can understand the mental aspect of life looking different for everyone else versus the patients, who see hope for it as useless, who don't understand that it has its ups and downs, and who see returning patients as sort of failures. Bouncing between wards is different from being out in the world and hospitalization, but "B" wards are a bit afraid of patients who make it back down from "D" ward. As I said, I don't know from experience, but reading this work really put me in there and made me understand exactly what it was like at that time. I don't know if there is a better book to help someone comprehend inpatient in midcentury USA, the turning point of psychology there.

I have a deep appreciation for Furii, Deborah's psychiatrist, for her depression understanding of how to navigate the sessions, work around Deborah's episodes and temperaments, which can make talk sessions very hard with her mind sometimes clouding or outright blocking her from talking about her made-up world and all its secrets. However, Furii, as long as both she and Deborah both felt like Deborah was not a lost cause and wanted to get better, Furii is determined to help Deborah work through all of her symptoms and find healthy coping mechanisms to replace them. The relationship is beautiful, well-meaning.

I think my favorite character is Miss Carol. She is described to be an old, white-haired, 90 pound woman who can launch mattresses during her episodes. She's an accomplished woman, a mathematician of sorts, I believe, and a returning patient. There are a few examples of returning patients and their places in life outside of the hospital. These examples serve as eventual realities that Deborah faces of having mental illness and understanding that progress isn't linear (this is a favorite theme of mine in this book and in life). There is also Doris Rivera, who we are not told how she makes a living or what her life looks like. We, the readers and the characters, only know that she was the goal and envy of the ward, and her returning brought a doubt to the ward about getting better and being part of society because of the expectation that you get better and you stay better. Deborah then makes a friend, Carla, who is a returning patient and, after becoming an outpatient and a returning patient, herself, understands the struggle of conforming and keeping up with life, stresses, and other regular, recurring issues in everyday life.

There was this understanding of not asking people why they are there, not asking returning patients why they had to come back, and not having prying conversations without the other being explicitly willing to give this information. Life is an experience that cannot always be conveyed in words. It was more like they had to live it to understand why they were returning. Again, progress isn't linear and while the patients probably understood this, or at least some of them who have went back and forth from the wards, within the confines of the hospital, life also works in this way and they could not ask, and the patients would not have the words to answer at that time.

All in all, i never promised you a rose garden, by Joanne Greenberg, was a beautiful piece of literature and I am glad to have read it. The theme of healing and regression really urges the reader to take a look at themselves and do some inner work of their own. I know I had to do some inner work along with this reading, and am grateful for it. The ending was not wrapped in a bow, happy, and satisfying as a "happily ever after" story, but an intense and reflective read as someone who struggles with their own symptoms and disorders. The only reason this novel got 4.75 stars and not five is because there was a lull where I was not compelled to pick up the book about four or five chapters away from the end, but that is a personal feeling and should not truly reflect upon the author.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Abstract

Objective: To assess the association between transgender or gender-questioning identity and screen use (recreational screen time and problematic screen use) in a demographically diverse national sample of early adolescents in the U.S.

Methods: We analyzed cross-sectional data from Year 3 of the Adolescent Brain Cognitive DevelopmentSM Study (ABCD Study®, N = 9859, 2019-2021, mostly 12-13-years-old). Multiple linear regression analyses estimated the associations between transgender or questioning gender identity and screen time, as well as problematic use of video games, social media, and mobile phones, adjusting for confounders.

Results: In a sample of 9859 adolescents (48.8% female, 47.6% racial/ethnic minority, 1.0% transgender, 1.1% gender-questioning), transgender adolescents reported 4.51 (95% CI 1.17-7.85) more hours of total daily recreational screen time including more time on television/movies, video games, texting, social media, and the internet, compared to cisgender adolescents. Gender-questioning adolescents reported 3.41 (95% CI 1.16-5.67) more hours of total daily recreational screen time compared to cisgender adolescents. Transgender identification and questioning one's gender identity was associated with higher problematic social media, video game, and mobile phone use, compared to cisgender identification.

Conclusions: Transgender and gender-questioning adolescents spend a disproportionate amount of time engaging in screen-based activities and have more problematic use across social media, video game, and mobile phone platforms.

Introduction

Screen-based digital media is integral to the daily lives of adolescents in multifaceted ways [1] but problematic screen use (characterized by inability to control usage and detrimental consequences from excessive use including preoccupation, tolerance, relapse, withdrawal, and conflict) [2], [3], has been linked with harmful mental and physical health outcomes, such as depression, poor sleep, and cardiometabolic disease [4], [5]. Transgender and gender-questioning adolescents (i.e., adolescents who are questioning their gender identity) experience a higher prevalence of bullying (adjusted prevalence ratio [aPR] 1.88 and 1.62), suicide attempts (aPR 2.65 and 2.26), and binge drinking (aPR 1.80 and 1.50), respectively, compared to their cisgender peers [6], [7], [8], [9], [10]. Transgender and gender-questioning adolescents may engage in screen-based activities that are problematic and associated with negative health outcomes but also in a way that is different from their cisgender peers in order to form communities, explore health education about their gender identity, and seek refuge from isolating or unsafe environments [11].

One study found that sexual and gender minority (SGM) adolescents (e.g., lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender), aged 13–18 years old, spent an average of 5 h per day online, approximately 45 min more than non-SGM adolescents in 2010–2011 [12]. However, this study grouped SGM together as a single group, conflating the experiences of gender minorities (e.g., transgender, gender-questioning) with those of sexual minorites (e.g., lesbian, gay, bisexual), and the data are now over a decade old. In a nationally representative sample of adolescents aged 13–18 years old in the U.S., transgender adolescents had higher probabilities of problematic internet use than cisgender adolescents. However, this analysis did not measure modality-specific problematic screen use such as problematic social media, video game, or mobile phone use, which may further inform the function that media use plays in the lives of gender minority adolescents [13]. While this prior research provides important groundwork to understand screen time and problematic use in gender minority adolescents, gaps remain in understanding differences in screen time and specific modalities of problematic screen use in gender minority early adolescents.

Our study aims to address the gaps in the current literature by studying associations between transgender and gender-questioning identity and screen time across several modalities including recreational and problematic social media, video game, and mobile phone use in a large, national sample of early adolescents. We hypothesized that among early adolescents, transgender identification and questioning one’s gender identity would be positively associated with greater recreational screen time and problematic screen use compared to cisgender identification.

==

tl;dr: Gender-mania is an online social contagion.

No shit. That's why these "authentic selves" and "innate identities" tend to evaporate when kids are detoxed from the internet.

[areadersuncertaintyprinciple]

Lovecraftian Influence in ORV (part 2):

Disclaimer: idk if all the parallels are intentional; I'm not an expert on Lovecraft; this is defo not going to contain all the stuff in detail or even all the stuff coz like I said, I ain't an expert 1. Textual parallels:

Both ORV & Lovecraftian lore emphasize the cyclical nature of time and existence. In ORV, Dokja's regressions and the ever-repeating scenarios of "Ways of Survival" mirror the cyclical dreams of Azathoth. Similarly, Lovecraft's stories often feature ancient entities trapped in endless cycles of slumber and awakening.

The motif of uncaring gods and the dangers of seeking ultimate knowledge is central to both Lovecraftian mythos and ORV.

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. - H.P. Lovecraft

In the mythos, Yog-Sothoth embodies the totality of time and space, existing outside our linear perception. It has the ability to manipulate time in non-linear ways, creating alternate realities and diverging timelines. Imagine a tapestry of time, and Yog-Sothoth meticulously snipping sections and reconnecting them in impossible geometries, birthing new worlds and realities into existence. Similar is ORV's "square circle". Imagine a perfect circle, representing a closed timeline, yet simultaneously containing its own square corners, moments of choice and potential divergence.

Crawling Chaos(one of the names of Nyarlathotep) is directly mentioned in ORV: (look at the phrasing- myths that were prototype of Ways of Survival)

Character parallels:

Most Ancient Dream & Azathoth: This one's a no-brainer.

Both are dreaming entities who shape reality without conscious intent- while Azathoth is a blind god who's unconsciously dreaming up the universe & MAD is a traumatized child who's dreaming up stories as a coping mechanism.

The "idiot god" aspect of Azathoth resonates with MAD too. Both are unaware or atleast have a lack of choice/control. Their dreams & reality itself are in a continuous loop

The "uncaring god" aspect of Azathoth resonates with the MAD's desire for new stories rather than any sense of morality or concern for its creations.

2. Nyarlathotep & Secretive Plotter:

Nyarlathotep is said to be the puppet/avatar of Azathoth while YJH/Secretive Plotter is labeled as the puppet of MAD.

Worldline Jumpers

All black ensemble (silly comparison ik)

Mocking contempt for their "masters"

Nyarlathotep views humanity as playthings, pawns in his game. He's often described as a harbinger of apocalypse, acts on an enigmatic agenda seemingly tied to chaos and destruction. While Secretive Plotter's goal was to meet-kill MAD & end the cycle of regressions once & for all through an apocalypse.

3. The Hounds of Tindalos:

The Hounds of Tindalos are creatures created by Frank Belknap Long and later incorporated into the Cthulhu Mythos. Both the names of Hounds of Tindalos & Hounds Chasing After the Abyss have been mentioned in the text. So, it's a direct reference.

4. Yog-Sothoth the gatekeeper & Fourth Wall+Dokkaebi King

5. Shub-Niggurath & tls123/1863hsy: disclaimer: Lovecraft's work is unfortunately riddled with racist and xenophobic imagery and tropes, particularly regarding Shub-Niggurath.

Shub-Niggurath is said to be the "Mother of All Gods" & we can compare tls123 to her in the same vein as tls123 is the author of TWSA while 1864hsy is the author(or co-author) of ORV. "tls" represents the Korean word for "god" as the keys for T, L, and S correspond to the letters ㅅ, ㅣ, and ㄴ on the Korean keyboard. => tls123 is the author-god of the universe

(tls123 is also kinda similar to Azathoth in having no power over their creations)

6. Randolph Carter & the 0th YJH: Randolph Carter is a recurring character in many stories from Lovecraft's Dream Cycle series. He also features in an unfinished short story called "Azathoth". In Azathoth, Randalph travels through space and time in his dream-form, and is drawn to the nighted throne of the far daemon-sultan Azathoth, the blind idiot god who rules over chaos and creation. Like, Randalph, 0th YJH chooses to regress because he wants to meet MAD

...and that's it for now. I'll add more if I remember. Constructive feedback is welcome but keep in mind: I'm no expert & also a human behind the keyboard.