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noodyl-blasstal · 1 year ago

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Walk this Fae

Day 20 of @taznovembercelebration! Today's prompt card was "fae AU" (FaeU) and I drew another card for fun and got "sweet"

Read below or on Ao3. Missed yesterday's? Find it here.

Kravitz fills the dish with a few chocolates and questions, yet again, whether this was rock bottom.

The break up hadn’t been unexpected, per say, Cyrus had been drifting further away and things had felt heavy and weird for a while. Not that they ever felt particularly good, but Cyrus was there and things were fine and then they weren’t. He wasn’t sad about it per say, hadn’t even really cried apart from quick self-pitying one in the shower. But feeling fine about the split didn’t change the fact he’d said he was bringing a plus one to the awards ceremony and he’d definitely said ‘he’ when talking about his boyfriend so he couldn’t really bring Sloane unless he fancied trying to explain the concept of a he/him lesbian to his immediate and very distant coworkers and then also explain why he, Definitely A Man, was dating said he/him lesbian. The prospect sounds deeply unappealing so he turned Sloane down, even though she ‘generously’ offered to wear a tux for the occasion (she’d find any excuse, honestly).

At some point in the thought spiral about the whole mess of it, he decided the best and most logical option was to turn to folklore. He wasn’t going to do anything insane like hiring a date, obviously, so he had to find another solution. This one is simple. He just has to leave the dish out for a final night now and then he can up the ante. It was supposed to be cream, but, well, that seemed unhygienic and he didn’t know if Themselves understood about clingfilm, so he’d been leaving a few Lindt chocolates instead. They were basically just solidified cream if you thought about it. He also didn’t have a back door so he’d been leaving them outside the front door, but you know, they were going, so it was probably working.

Now there were just two more weeks left and he was going to be at the point where he could have a conversation! Probably? Either way it was unequivocally easier than attempting to do dating ever again. Deals with Themselves have rules, there’s a clear path, it’s all laid out in the book and you can cross reference! Kravitz loves to cross reference. It’s simple, the offerings increase until a time when one of Them will be prepared to make a deal with you, usually related to Cornish Fairings as far as he can tell, but they can negotiate biscuit preferences closer to the time, he’ll buy a few packets of different things and they can taste test. Maybe he can make it a fun thing? The fae can rate the best dunkers and see if he agrees with Kravitz’s preferences. There’s no reason a business deal has to be dull.

–

The chocolate is gone the next morning, and there’s a note! “Thanks, T xoxo” is scribbled on the back of a receipt. Kravitz has no idea why a fae lord needs to buy cat litter and dark chocolate - maybe he found it? But he’s happy to take it as an auspicious sign. He just needs to figure out his next steps. Probably leaving the door open to tempt the fae in? No, not tempt, that sounds creepy, invite! That was better. Invite them in.

Kravitz surveys his efforts, the door is propped slightly open, (he tries not to feel weird about that, it’s fine, he can break the ‘always lock your door’ advice that his Mums gave him for something this important) but it doesn’t look as inviting as it should. Even the string of lights he added just look a bit ominous.

He can fix this. More snacks inside! The sign’s not subtle, but it should do the job.

–

“Knock knock!” Comes a lilting voice.

Shit. It’s happening! Yes! “Come in!” Kravitz tries to keep his voice even.

“Are you going to serial kill cha’boy?”

“No?”

“Are you asking or telling?”

“Telling! I’m not going to murder you.”

“Cool!” The voice says, and there’s a swishing jangling step as someone approaches.

Kravitz squeezes his eyes shut, he’s got to stay calm. He can’t eat any food or drink anything he’s offered. Oh! Thinking of drink, he quickly pours the water into the teapot and sets the timer. He knew keeping the pan at a boil would be sensible.

“Oh, hey Krav!” Taako appears in the doorway. “I didn’t know this one was you.” “Is this some kind of trickery thing?” Kravitz asks in the most even voice he can manage. Maybe this is what they do, appear wearing the face of something you desire.

“What? You invited me in.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You said there was more snacks inside?”

“That wasn’t for you… wait… have you been?”

“It’s a long way up the stairs. Cha’boy thought you were leaving snacks for sustenance while the lift’s out.”

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no!

“You’ve been eating the offerings?”

“What?”

“For Themselves!”

“You’ve been leaving offerings for the fae?”

“Just to get one in here. You’re the one who’s been eating random door chocolates!”

“Hold on, you’ve been trying to fuck a fairy?”

“Don’t call Them fairies! You know They don’t like it.”

“You’re not denying the ‘fucking one’ bit of that accusation.”

“It’s for a work thing!”

“What do you do?”

“No, it’s not like… shit.” Kravitz wonders exactly how hard it is to disappear. He doesn’t really want to cut up his bank card and throw his phone into the sea, but he’ll do it if it means he gets to stop having this conversation.” He settles for flopping into a seat at the kitchen table.

Taako perches on the one opposite him. Maybe he is fae, he’s certainly ethereal enough for it with his colourful clothes and his layers and his cheekbones and his ass. Wait. Not the last bit, fuck. This isn’t about Kravitz’s stupid pointless neighbour crush.

“Wait, did you make these?” Taako tugs one of the biscuit rating cards towards himself.

“Give that back!” Kravitz snatches it out of his hand. He doesn’t need to be mocked any more. He’s going to be reliving this every time he wakes up at 3am for the rest of his life, there’s no need to prolong it or add dimension to the torture.

Taako grabs the other sheet and reads it as if nothing happened. “Big fan of the rubric.”

“What?” Is Taako complimenting his biscuit criteria right now?

“It’s important, durability but also mushiness, they’re two separate things.”

“Yes.” Says Kravitz stiffly. He’s scared to lean too far into the conversation, worried it’s a trap. It wouldn’t be the first time someone had pretended to be interested in what he was saying to flip it back on him later.

“Did you make the tea already?”

“It’s brewing. There’s a timer.” If he doesn’t say too much he probably can’t make this situation worse. It could even be salvageable if they promise never ever ever to speak abot it again.

“Mmmhmm.” Taako drops his usually casual demeanour. “Would you like cha’boy to go? Taako doesn’t like to outstay his welcome.”

“No!” Kravitz says it fast and panicked. He’s not sure why. If Taako goes he can sit on the floor very still and very quiet and think about how exactly which lie to tell about why he can’t come and get the biggest award of his career… but also, also, it’s nice to have him here. This is better than chatting in the laundry room, it’s always hard to hear him over the washing machine.

Taako shrugs as if it’s no big deal, as if this situation isn’t ridiculous, and settles back in his chair. “Which one’s your favourite?”

“I can’t tell you that!” Kravitz cannot believe Taako’s lax approach to research ethics. “It’d bias your opinion. You’ve got to go in fresh.”

“So Taako’s allowed, then? To stay and play?” Taako gestures at the array of biscuits.

If he wants to then he definitely can. “Yes. I want to know what you think.” Kravitz nudges a custard cream themed pen at Taako - appropriate tools were necessary for the job. He keeps the one with the springy Jammy Dodger on top for himself. Taako eyes is jealously, but he should have brought his own.

The tea timer bleeps delicately, Kravitz got it specifically for its tiny boop. He hates being startled and the old one was too aggressive.

“Do you take milk?”

“Yes, no sugar.”

“You’re sweet enough.” Kravitz finishes.

Taako smiles a big smile at that. The pride swelling in Kravitz’s chest at the sight of the delight on Taako’s face. It’s unexpected and he did that!

“Hey Krav?” Taako asks, somewhere between biscuits 8 and 10. “What’s someone like you doing messing with the Mooinjer Veggey?”

“Someone like me?”

“Well, you’re not exactly the usual type, lost fiddler on a hill and all that.”

“I’m pretty good on the cello.” Kravitz shouldn’t be offended, but how dare Taako not assume Kravitz is a fiddle prodigy? He could be! There’s no evidence to the contrary.

“Oh well then, private concert for one, do you take requests? Can you do the Thong Song?”

He can, is the thing. He shouldn’t go and get his cello right now and demonstrate that fact.

“One second!” Kravitz leaps up.

“Are you serious?”

Kravitz doesn’t say anything, just runs to the corner of the living room and opens the case with a flourish.

“My dude, if you are about to crack out some Sisqó on the extra big violin Taako’s going to lose it.”

Kravitz pretends he’s in his fanciest suit, flips the tails, and sits. Drinks in Taako’s smile, relishes the fact his eyes are fixed on Kravitz. It’s not usually something he likes, but in this case he’ll take double staring.

By the time he hits the chorus Taako is laughing so hard he’s flopped sideways and snorting and still just about managing the backing vocals. He’s perfect.

“So I think that Themselves would probably keep me under their hill forever.” Kravitz says once the last note has died. He tries not to be smug, he does, he knows it’s impolite, but it’s hard, he deserves to be pleased with himself.

“You’re not wrong, handsome.” Taako says, still slumped on the sofa. “I think I’m crying.”

Kravitz automatically offers the tissue box, he has one in most rooms, just to be safe.

“Why did you do this?” Taako asks again.

“You said you had a request.” “No, not this.” Taako points to the cello. “This!” He gestures at the tea, the biscuits.

Kravitz isn’t sure if it’s wise to admit the truth, but a minute ago Taako was crying on his sofa about the Thong Song so Kravitz isn’t sure Taako has much room to make fun of him right now.

“I need a date.” Kravitz says quickly. Maybe if he just gets it over with it won’t be too bad.

“You what now?” Taako looks like he’s about to try and reboot his ears for being defective.

“I won’t be accepting any supplementary questions at this time.” States Kravitz, wishing more than anything he had a business curtain to close, or a door to lock, a tannoy announcement. Shut for business for the day, no further questions, thank you all so much for playing!

“So this is a monster fuck thing! I didn’t think you were the type.” Taako gives him a very slow once over that Kravitz doesn’t have any bandwidth to process right now.

“No!” Kravitz is fairly sure the werewolf cowboy romances on the shelf by his bed don’t count. Probably.

“Then why?”

“There’s a work thing.”

“Hang on, you’re serious?”

“I just said it was!”

“It sounded like a lie.”

“Would you like me to make up a more plausible lie than the lie-sounding-truth?”

“No no, go on, cha’boy needs to hear this.” Taako looks positively delighted, but it’s probably too late to back out.

“There’s a work thing… it’s an awards thing, and I was dating a guy and now I’m not, but they already ordered the food and I don’t want to tell anyone because they’ll do the weird squinchy face and not know what to say bit and we’ll all just have to marinade in the terribleness together and long for escape.”

“Bad.” Says Taako with feeling.

“Bad.” Kravitz agrees. “You get it.”

Taako nods solemnly. Then cocks his head to the side. “Taako could be your date.”

“What?”

“Well, I ate your cream… Wait, no!”

It’s too late, Kravitz is laughing hard and ugly and happy.

“I ate the chocolates.”

“You did.” Gasps Kravitz, trying to calm down.

“And the biscuits.”

“Yes.” That was true.

“So now I owe you.”

“You don’t.”

“I think I want to owe you.” Taako smirks and Kravitz is almost convinced it’s flirting.

“It’s black tie, the event. You know. Fancy nonsense.” He’d better make sure Taako knows what he’s getting into.

“Oooh! Is there fancy nonsense food too?”

“Probably. I can check the menu.”

“There will be.” Taako says confidently. “It’s gonna be bad and your company will have paid too much for it.”

“You don’t even know where it is.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you about why it’s all shit.”

“Okay.” Says Kravitz, scared to break the spell.

“Okay.” Taako replies firmly, solidly, making a date-ly. “We’re going to take the world by storm. Anyway, what’s the awards thing for?”

“Nothing much. Just, you know, work stuff.” Kravitz waves a hand dismissively. There’s no way he’s going through the embarrassment of admitting to Taako that he’s the guest of honour. It doesn’t change anything about what they’ve agreed.

“Okay. Well, just send cha’boy the details, I wrote my number on the biscuit form.”

“Before the Thong Song?”

“Before the Thong Song.” Taako confirms solemnly.

I hope you enjoyed! Want to read more? Tomorrow's prompt is here.

#“Aren't you so proud?” Asks everyone at the party while Taako - completely clueless - nods enthusiastically and uses it as a chance #to make Kravitz blush #Then he gets called up on the stage and Taako is ???????????#Noodyl Writes #TAZNC #taz november celebration #Taz fic #Taakitz

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