#nobody notices or cares idk why i bother

[candygemgem]

its hard to post at all so be nice if you can please

have some inside out dogs

afghan, toy poodle, brussels griffon

smth smth brussel sprout joke

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[abnomi]

random assorted headcanons for Turbo because I like thinking and having fun !!!! 🎉

Read More to Find Out...or are you too scared?... i bet ur too scared ahaha youre too scared Lol! Hahaahaaa!!!

The steering wheel of his kart is covered in bite marks, similar to how one would bite their favorite pencil. he bites things to mark his territory because Nobody is gonna touch that unless they want all of his diseases (150+).

i just know he was fighting to restrain himself not to chew on any of the candy civilians

when it comes to music, he doesn't see the point of listening to it. he doesn't have enough patience to really take it in; to him, it's just a thing that exists and not much more than that ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ ∵⁠ )⁠_⁠/⁠¯

adding onto that point, this guy listens to metal clanking sounds and loud engine roaring for entertainment because he likes things that would overstimulate any normal person. turbo is incredibly sensory-seeking and will do anything for The Sensations

someone should take him to a heavy rock concert i think it would change him a little. keep that thang on a leash

related to being sensory-seeking, i think he would absolutely love running his hands over random textures. if anyone has run their hands along a wall while walking alongside it...He does that...If u know u know... he is SO stimmy its unbelievable. Unreal.

very pain-tolerant. he'll whine and complain about it for attention, but physical hurt really doesnt bother him much until it gets in the way of what he wants to do.

funnily enough, he is very picky when it comes to temperature. he can handle getting ran over but if its 1° too hot or cold he'll start nagging and nagging for it to go back to normal. turbo really needs his own enclosure i think it'd do him a lot of good

this is a more popular headcanon and its canon-leaning, but he's an artist :-] he usually sticks to graffiti art because its generally considered more "rebellious and cool" but he also sketches cars, design decals, and other stuff when hes alone!

i would love to see his process of character designing king candy because i dont think he really knew what he was doing

he was just like "ok what does a generic king look like. uhhhhh.... 1, old and jolly like santa claus.... 2.... uhh crown..... 3......... purple.... FUCK YEAH im so good at this!!!!🔥🔥🔥"

i just noticed how his design has like 0 actual candy motifs aside from his bow being a candy wrapper and his shoes having those little gumdrop end pieces. what was he THINKING

while King Candy has a lisp, i think it's a coverup for his actual voice because of how goofy and recognizable it is. Overall its the same as his regular voice, he just gets silly with it. i noticed that he still does retain some of his lisp when hes screaming his lungs out at Vanellope, however, so maybe he genuinely does have a lisp that makes itself known when furious :3

another thing i noticed is how he hisses his S's. very cool very cool the reptilian

@/tasticturbo made a post abt how he has tinnitus from the constant noise in his game and i couldnt agree more

AND THE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES. where did he get those...he needs to See

side note, the aforementioned account has made so many interesting analyses on turbo and theyre all so insightful. i recommend u check them out

i think he gets migraines from stress. constant buzzing or pain flood his head but hes like "IDGAF i need to DO something at ALL TIMES no matter what"

hes like a shark in that way. if hes not moving he'll die instantly. idk a lot about sharks or if thats how it works srry but im going off of what the Worms are saying to me and i dont have much to work with

i think a really big contributer as to why he lacks in the self care department is because he fails to notice that something in his body is wrong. hes far too distracted on something he thinks is more important than remembering to Eat Food or Drink Water or Wash Himself or

he's like "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SHIT ALL OF THE TIME!!! I HATE MY LIFE" and he hasn't slept in 4 days

hes so me. Sorry.

i dont think turbo is necessarily suicidal, but the way he behaves shows a clear disregard for his own safety and wellbeing. he thinks that he knows what he needs but he really doesnt :-[ i think he has some kind of immortality complex, feeling untouchable and like nothing could get to him. as scared as he was when ralph was about to turn him into sloppy mush, he didnt take the threat very seriously. like it was some kind of joke

his kart regenerates every time his game starts up, so what if he smashed it into buildings for fun. He's the number one fan of car accidents. he is all about that shit

i think his living space would literally be a garage btw. its a place to sleep and a space for his car all in one!! he thinks its very convenient and awesome but i think he is coping. he has some old dingy stained sheetless mattress that he has never washed in his life and its covered in dirt and smoke particles. no wonder he has such heavy eye bags Dude Please

the turbo twins have a garage used in a similar way, and while its still pretty shitty, they still at least TRY to maintain it. they just fight a lot over who has to care of it. nobody taught them how to take turns ever

but this aint about them. maybe another day

i think that turbo would find comfort in garbage and keeping it around because its familiar to him. a big clean empty space would make him so mad and if anyone moves even an inch of scrap off to the side he will throw a fit. he generally doesnt pay attention to his surroundings but when its his personal space he is 1093 times more neurotic

i think the big empty castle he stole wouldve been a big transition for him. maybe it helped him clear his mind a little more to practice his tricky schemes...it helped him get more subtle

thats all i have for nowww ty for reading ^_^ if anyone else has any wacky ideas pleeeease tell me i would love to hear them!!

[theboyzism]

[ATEEZ] friends with benefits | wooyoung

➳ genre: smut/suggestive, very light angst-ish? (minors dni!) ➳ ficstyle: bulletpoints ➳ pairing: fwb! wooyoung x reader (gn) ➳ warnings: friends with benefits relationship, very slight smut, dirty talk, jealousy, hint of angst pls let me know if there are any missing!

HOW IT STARTED

you knew your bestfriend was an attractive guy

you also became used to the fact that people would stare at wooyoung wherever you'd go out by now

though wooyoung and you hadn't met in a while due to his busy idol life, you still kept up via kakaotalk

and you didn't mind that he didn't even have time to call you most of the time

in fact you were just happy he was living his dream

but as a few months had gone by, you were even more happy that he finally was able to have time for you again

coming back from tour, the first thing he did is spent time with his family

and after returning back to seoul, wooyoung could not wait to meet up with you

just as you were about to leave the door, your friend called you up, asking if you had time to hang out

when you told them that you are getting ready to leave to finally meet up with wooyoung they nearly lost it

"jung wooyoung? i saw a video of him the other day, he went from good looking to straight up hot! he's like stupid hot now, idk how you're so chill around him"

you did what you always did when someone mentioned his good looks: simply just laughed it off

while being reunited with wooyoung felt like heaven

you were also more observant than usual

was it the longer hair?

the more defined arms and collarbones?

why did his throat look so sexy all of a sudden, simply sipping on a drink?

or was it the way he brushed his fingers past his pillow-like lips, small smirk plastered on his lips?

no matter what it was, you came to one major realization:

wooyoung was indeed stupid hot

"hello y/n, are you even listening to me?"

wooyoung had caught you staring a few times, obviously not listening to what came out of his mouth

and surprisingly it didn't bother him that his best friend was basically gobbling him up

no, even more so

he decided to have fun with it

blush crept across your face and you were quick to say that you were listening you just got lost in thoughts

"ah i thought you didn't pay any attention to what i said because you were too busy eye fucking me"

wooyoung was bold, you always knew that, but for some reason you felt the room getting hotter and hotter

you're face must've been completely flushed now, lips parted in shock

"so tell me, what exactly have you been fantasizing about the past few minutes i was talking to you?"

when you were a stuttering mess, trying to put a coherent sentence together, wooyoung let out a chuckle

"you know i can only give you what you want if you talk to me, baby"

you felt yourself getting dizzy the closer he was inching to you, almost like he was intoxicating

and sooner than you could think this through

you hooked up with your bestfriend

HOW IT WENT

there weren't any rules

except for one

he didn't want you to hook up or see someone else while you two were in your friends with benefits situation

he would call you up quite frequently

why do i think he has a high sex drive

he always gave you good after care

but he'd always leave right after

for others nothing much had changed

wooyoung loves physical touch, so nobody thought twice about the way he held you close

what they failed to notice though is where he sometimes would touch

if it was his hand cupping a feel of your butt

or how his hand would slide up your thigh under the table

for everyone else it would be a running joke how he calls you babe in public

and for anyone else it would've been risky how wooyoung was set on hooking up with you in the living room of the dorm, or even the dance practice studio

but for wooyoung it was something more

he loves the risk and thrill of possibly getting caught

secretly he even wanted to get caught

he wanted people to know the dirty things he does to you

HOW IT ENDED

wooyoung was definitely getting a little reckless

stealing kisses every once in a while when no-one was watching just to rile you up

or was it cause he simply couldn't resist you?

anyways, while at a movie night you hosted, your friend turned out to be the first one to catch up on your antics, pulling you aside

when they asked you what's going on with you and wooyoung, you had no other explanation except for the fact that he and your friend themselves got into your head, wooyoung was simply just your best friend

"y/n, i just stated the obvious. he is hot. but best friends don't fuck each other just because, especially with the way he's eyeing you the whole time"

and that was enough to send you into a spiral

fuck, did you have feelings for your best friend?

did he have feelings for you?

just looking at him made your heart do flips

wooyoung was excitedly patting the spot next to him, waiting for you to sit down again

swallowing the lump in your throat you decided it was a good time to get some space between you two, making your way over to sit next to yunho instead

the whole time you could feel wooyoung eyes staring while you tried to keep your eyes on the screen, occasionally laughing at the jokes yunho was telling you

while you didn't care about yunho's friendly nature and close proximity, wooyoung certainly did

you mentally cursed yourself when wooyoung was the one who insisted to stay behind to help you clean up

the two of you were engulfed in an awkward silence while doing the dishes

until his voice finally cut through the silence

"so what was the whole thing with yunho? do you like him or something?"

"what makes you think that?" you couldn't look at him, the spot on the plate being long gone, but you were still scrubbing it

wooyoung's hand sneaked on yours, making you stop, so he could finally take the clean plate from your hands and putting it down next to the sink

"well maybe cause you ignored me for him" he was starting to grow a little annoyed

there is one thing you learnt about wooyoung from all the time you've been friends

which was that when he got to a certain point, he was like a volcano waiting to bubble over any second now

before you could get a word out, wooyoung raised his voice a little

"wow, are you that desperate that you have to move to the next best person that shows any interest in you? and now you can't even say anything to defend yourself? is it because he's taller than me?"

you knew he was trying to hit where it hurts, and sadly it was working

"wooyoung, are you in love with me?"

when he snickered you could feel your heart break a little

"me in love with you? you're just my best friend, nothing more"

seeing your hurt expression instantly made him regret his harsh words

the way your heart broke made your thoughts race

he didn't love you

but you definitely had some sort of feelings for him

"i think you should leave, we both need some time apart" you saw him role his eyes at your words

for some reason you expected him to put up some sort of fight for you

but he didn't

he only agreed with your words and left, which was the last time you had heard from him in over a month

while you were ready to move on

he was surely not

too engulfed in his little jealousy outburst to realize his feelings from the beginning

just like it did for you when he was gone on tour,

distance truly made his heart grow fonder

[thetomorrowshow]

hi i’m the anon who asked to make more of the reverse au

i realised i’m actually pretty terrible at writing and am terrified of posting my work anywhere but i still have so many ideas. i thought i’d just share them here in case you or anyone else is interested (you don’t have to read them i just want to get them out of my head)

-scott and jimmy become pen pals and write to each more and more until it’s a daily occurrence. through the letters jimmy tells scott everything that was said in dissonant air (he can’t control his powers, he never meant to hurt anyone, the depressing thoughts, etc)

-they see each others real faces during a poorly timed letter delivery. scott had come to give jimmy his letter in his civilian get-up at the same time jimmy was leaving his apartment

-scott didn’t return to being a hero between the times he was kidnapped from his injuries and from his fear of seeing xornoth again. he stayed trapped in his house writing letters. his friends were more than happy to help him buy groceries and stuff every once in a while. nobody noticed when he got kidnapped except for jimmy, since the letters stopped coming. at first jimmy thought scott had come to his senses and stopped talking to him but still had a feeling something was wrong

-jimmy tried to tell the other hero’s something was wrong but they didn’t trust him. after days of constantly bothering them and insisting major was in danger they finally complied. jimmy told them about scott’s previous kidnapping and they got on the case

-the hero’s tried to find xornoths lair by themselves (they wouldn’t let jimmy help for obvious reasons) but gave in after months of failure and let poor jimmy help. he used what information he could find from all of the letters he was sent. it wasn’t a lot but it was enough to work with

wow this got long. sorry about that! there’s still other stuff i had in my head with this (like with what was going on with scott during all of this and how they get him out) but idk if you’d want to hear more. sorry if this was bad i’m not the best with writing and grammar

I never thought I would write anything else for this au of an au. But hey, here we are.

For clarity's sake, Jimmy is 'S' and Scott is 'M'.

---

Hey! Hope everything’s good. Sorry about your security camera :/ I think I broke it… But I just wanted to say thank you for not mentioning me to the police. Or the reporters. Yeah. Sorry. But I hope you’re getting to feeling better! Thanks again and sorry again

Thanks

S

~

Thank you for your help.

-M

~

Hey, just wanted to let you know I got your note! Glad I could help, really. I feel like I never do anything right, so it was nice to be able to help someone for once. On a related note, I think your groceries went bad. Sorry :( I should start pre-writing these so that I don’t stand on your doorstep for so long. But how does getting groceries delivered work? I’ve been wanting to try it for a while because supermarkets are a landmine. But I hope you’re well! I hope you’re eating enough. Sorry about the groceries.

Thanks!!

S

~

Please do not stand on my doorstep to write notes.

You visit the store’s website and click the delivery option.

-M

~

Thanks for the advice about the whole shopping thing! I haven’t done it yet because I dropped my phone into an incinerator the other day and I’m still trying to buy a new one but the power goes out every time I walk into an electronics store. I’ll try it out once I have a new one though!! And I’m so so sorry I know I shouldn’t stand on your doorstep because like anyone could pass by, which is why I’ve only been stopping by at night, but I think Pearl almost saw me the other night so I’ll be more careful.

Sorry again!!

S

P.S. Sorry I’m standing on your doorstep but I was just wondering why you haven’t done any interviews?? You’ve been back for while now and people are going to worry… just checking to make sure you’re okay! Getting kidnapped can kind of take it out of you for a while :/

~

Sorry you haven’t said anything I just wanted to let you know that I tried out the delivery thing!! It worked really well actually I didn’t have to sign for it or anything just came right up to my doorstep. A lot of the stuff wasn’t what I ordered and the jam I wanted had shattered but it worked and it was way less stressful than usual so you’re the best for telling me how to do it thanks so much!

S

P.S. sorry sorry sorry but you don’t have to write me back if you don’t want to, I just wanted to check that you’re doing okay! Have a good week :) 

~

If they sent you the wrong items, you should get a refund.

Thank you. I don’t plan on any public appearances until I don’t panic when I go outside for the time being. I am recovering well.

-M

~

Okay you didn’t say to stop writing but it was good to hear from you! I felt really bad that I couldn’t help you more that night so I just worry. I’ve been thinking lately though that you probably don’t want to hear from me though so I can stop.

I do need to say something first, though. I mentioned it when you were at my at that apartment with me, but I don’t know how much you remember from then or anything. But basically I’m so so sorry about everything. Like literally everything. I’ve never forgiven myself for Aeor and I don’t expect you to, either, but I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry. If I could change everything I would. Believe me I would. I’ve hurt too many people. It would be better if I didn’t exist. I don’t deserve to I’ve hurt I should just start a new note at this point, haha. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I understand if you don’t want me to write any more notes. I’ll stop. I hope you’re doing well and you continue to recover!

S

P.S. last time I got kidnapped I was really scared of going back to my apartment so I moved and I felt better, so maybe you need a bit of time out of the city to help you get tip-top :)

~

Thank you for the apology.

And my therapist thinks that might be an unhealthy way of coping, as much as I might agree with you that getting away sounds nice. I’m working through it.

You don’t have to stop writing.

-M

~

I AM SO SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE AT MY DOOR BEFORE I WALKED OUT LET’S NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN

Anyways wow you have a therapist that’s good!! My advice isn’t really good haha sorry. I actually did therapy for a little when I was in school but then everything went really bad with my powers and but then things didn’t work out. I don’t know why I crossed that out. Basically I was in therapy to try and learn how to control my powers and well we know how that ended up.

Quick question maybe I haven’t paid enough attention to you on tv but are your eyes naturally that blue? Because it’s really blue.

S

~

This is my natural eye color.

I didn’t know that there was a therapy program for children who struggle to control their powers. You said it didn’t help, though. I’m glad that you were able to figure it out without professional help.

You were kidnapped before. Does it get any easier? I’m sorry to hear that.

-M

~

Oh so about the therapy thing yeah my powers came when I was like 15 and that’s usually a little old for that therapy but they made a special exception. But no it didn’t work. Actually my parents were planning to send me away to a specialist where I could get the help I needed but it never ended up happening. So I just never learned how to control them.

On a related note a giraffe ate my new phone but I tried out the delivery thing again before that! I kind of expect to get the wrong things because of my powers haha so I’m not going to complain about my ten bottles of ketchup. But my jam did shatter again so I have to decide if it’s worth the anxiety of going to the store.

The first time I got kidnapped, I was really scared. I didn’t know what was happening. They wanted information, I think? I was panicking really bad because they kept pointing guns at my head. I got out pretty quick but it was bad for a long time. I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I mean I never do, really, but it was even worse.

I don’t know when I moved on. I think my sink broke and I was forced to leave the house, but moving isn’t the same as moving on, you know? Like you can run anywhere but it’s usually just running away. You have to face it.

S

~

Thanks for the advice. I really liked that last thing you said.

I don’t want to face them, though. I know I have to, but what if they take me again?

I’m sorry. These are my problems, not yours.

-M

~

Oh gosh I didn’t mean you have to face Xornoth!! No that sounds bad! They literally kidnapped and tortured you for like a month dude! Honestly forget what I said about the whole running away thing, you should really try to get away from this situation if you can. You shouldn’t feel responsible for Xornoth when they hurt you like that, let someone else deal with that! There are tons of supers in the city, just tell one of your friends that you don’t want to be involved with Xornoth and they’ll take care of it!

S

~

I’m the Primary Protector, though. It’s my job to face the city’s greatest threats, and Xornoth is one of them. I should be able to handle them.

I don’t want my friends to see me any differently. They already give me weird looks. I honestly wasn’t very badly hurt—I was mostly malnourished. They don’t understand why I’m not back in the game yet. I don’t know how to tell them.

I wish I could leave.

-M

~

:(( it sounds like you’re really struggling. Do you think you might have PTSD? You don’t have to answer that. But you should take your time! If it was anyone else, I think they’d have moved very far away to get away from the danger which is smart. It’s actually really upsetting that you can’t. Maybe you can work out like a code with your friends so that they can come in and handle Xornoth if they show up while you’re working? Honestly just the fact that they were able to kidnap you once means that there should be extra protection for you. Heck maybe I can do something.

If you need anything though I’m here. I don’t get it exactly but I kind of know what it’s like. I mean yeah I’ve been kidnapped before a couple of times but I know what it’s like to not want to go outside in general. To be scared of what could happen. Well you have other friends but I’m here to help if I can. I don't make promises ever because they never work out for me but I'm here.

S

~

Thank you for the offer. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to help.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, actually. I’m also readjusting to my antidepressants still, so my therapist thinks some of my anxieties come from the meds change and will even out in time.

I think I’ll do a public interview soon. I don’t want them to think that they’ve scared me away.

They’re dangerous. Please don’t endanger yourself. They experimented on me They might try to It isn’t worth the risk.

-M

~

The craziest fight happened downtown!

Okay so I was really just trying to get to the Planet Fitness to take a shower (I’m not homeless haha my shower is broken again) but Mythics was battling Pearl downtown and it was WILD. Like they were not pulling any punches, and I thought they were kind of friendly rivals but this was just crazy! But then the Oracle got involved? So the fight just kind of stopped when he touched them and then he left. I thought the Oracle was a villain but that was vigilante behavior if you ask me. I get it though, if I could’ve done that I would’ve. Like maybe he just needed to take a shower too.

Anyways my powers decided to make everything ten times worse like usual so a giant worm burst out of the ground. Maybe I should have let the Oracle touch me too so that I could join Mythics and Pearl on the ground crying. They’re fine btw some civilians dragged them out of the way of the worm. I was too busy trying to figure out a way to deal with the worm. I think Mythics woke up and magicked it into one of his portal things.

But anyways it was crazy. Well you probably already saw it on the news or something.

I hope the interview goes well!! How does that even work? Like does somebody come to your house or do you go to the news station or what? I'm assuming you've done a couple of interviews before idk.

S

~

I saw about the attack. You should look up ‘tired man throws phone at giant worm video’ if you haven't seen it.

For the interview, I reach out to a news outlet and set up an interview (or, more often, they reach out to me). Then we usually meet in a nice room in their office. I've done tons of interviews, you can find them on my twitter or on youtube.

I'm nervous about the interview. I tried to get a reporter I like but I just know that they'll ask me why I've been away. I don't want them to think I'm weak. It isn't your problem, anyways. I'll talk about it with my therapist.

Really though, you should watch that video.

-M

~

NOOO THAT'S SO BAD THAT SHOULD BE A CRIME

In my defense I was really tired and I just threw whatever was in my hand at the worm, I didn't realize it was my phone.

I've never given an interview before but man that sounds stressful. I hope it goes well! I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention me in it of course but you know that. Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Also if it helps at all taking time off definitely doesn't make you weak. Sometimes it's even stronger to admit you need a break than to keep powering through. Especially after being held captive and tortured for a month.

Good luck again!!

S

P.S. your cat is super cute but maybe she shouldn't be outside? It's really dangerous for cats to live outdoors and I don't want to accidentally hurt her :((

~

Thanks for the kind words.

I can send you the link to the interview if you tell me your phone number. Or I can dm it to you on twitter—is the verified account actually you? The one that mostly shares scam links and random ip addresses?

Also I'm working on leash training Elle, so that we can go on walks and she can be an inside cat.

-M

~

I've tried to write this note like fifty times but the paper keeps tearing so I'll keep it short. My phone number changes a lot and I currently don't have a phone (giraffe again) but I'll just look it up when I get one! And yep that's my twitter, I try to delete the old pictures of me it posts but I gave up on when it posts my location.

Good luck again!

S

~

Why don’t you delete twitter?

-M

~

I did :( 

S

~

Solidarity, your life kind of sucks.

-M

~

You’ve got no room to talk, mister.

S

~

So that’s what it is, isn’t it? We’re just two losers.

-M

P.S. but, for the record, your life is way worse than mine.

~

Okay I’ve got a new phone and I watched the interview! You did incredible, I think I would’ve run away like two seconds in. Like even when they asked that one question about why you weren’t back to work when you’re pretty much physically all right, you really kept it together. I was genuinely so impressed.

Also you’re looking good! I don’t know how to explain it haha, but you look a lot better than you did on my living room floor. How are you doing? Do you think it went well?

S

~

I’d look a lot better in your bed Thanks for watching. It was hard. It was really hard. But I think it helped. I feel kind of better about getting back into it all. Not yet, but maybe soon.

Do you ever wish you’d chosen a different path in life?

-M

~

I never really had a choice to make.

S

P.S. but if I wasn’t powered, I think I’d want to do something with my hands. I used to think subways were the coolest thing ever. I wouldn’t mind learning how to fix a subway car.

~

I studied to be an architect. I loved city architecture. I wanted to design skyscrapers.

I didn’t ever plan to be a hero full-time, but I do like it. I enjoy my job. I’m famous, I live comfortably, I do cool stuff on TV.

But what if I would’ve been happier as an architect?

Sorry, this isn’t your problem. I should talk to my therapist about it.

-M

P.S. Maybe you can take a community college mechanics course?

~

I really can’t, cars tend to break down around me. I don’t even take Ubers anymore (not related to the car breaking-down thing, but because last time the driver held me at gunpoint and stole my phone and wallet).

Honestly mate, if you want to be an architect I'd say go for it. Even if it's only something you can do on the side you know? There's tons of people who never got the chance to do what they love. You deserve a good life.

S

~

Thanks. I'm sorry that you never got to choose. You deserve a good life, too.

I can't let Xornoth win. If I run away, it's defeat. If I don't do anything about it, they might hurt someone else.

I need to take care of this myself.

-M

~

That sounds like a suicide note.

S

~

Wouldn't be the first time.

-M

~

You should ask your friends for help. You don't have to do this alone. You shouldn't face them alone.

S

~

I haven't really talked to anyone since I got back. I know it isn't healthy but I can't. They don't get it. They don't know what Xornoth did to me. I can't let it happen to anyone else. They're a danger to the city and it's my duty to take them down. Alone.

I'm sorry.

-M

~

You aren't alone, okay? If you have no one else, you have me.

S

~

Thank you.

-M

P.S. it means so much to me. I consider you a friend. You have me, too.

~

I saw you on the news fighting the Engineers. You looked good! The fight went really well. How do you feel about it? Is there anything I can do to like support you?

S

P.S. Elle won't stop begging me for belly rubs but each time I try she nips my fingers :(

~

Hey are you doing all right? I mean you took a little bit of a hit in that fight so it's okay if you can't make it to my apartment to drop off a note haha. You can email me if it's easier awsumwingback8@yahoo.com.

S

~

Major please just like let me know that you're okay.

S

~

I may have broken into Blossom’s house (I meant to just knock but the door fell down) and she kicked my butt but she hasn't seen you in a while, she said. Are you okay? I'll break into your house next haha.

S

~

I know you told me not to write notes while I'm on your doorstep but if you don't open the door by tomorrow night I'm breaking in. Elle keeps trying to get me to follow her inside. I'm going to watch your house until tomorrow night, okay? You don't have to write back, just open the door.

I'll come for you.

S

P.S. I didn't mean to sound weird or creepy I mean I have your back. I'll come save you if they got you. 

I promise.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Kokichi forgets v3 (saiouma misunderstanding angst prompt)

Apollo: "After the game, Kokichi randomly goes missing. No one knows where he is and unfortunately, not many of them care.

They think that he's running away from his problems like always and besides, they have much more important things to worry about, namely getting out of this damn hospital run by Team Danganronpa.

Unbeknownst to them, Kokichi is still there. He's kept locked in a different ward, with the staff doing their best to slowly break him down.

Sure, the franchise lost a lot of fans and supporters thanks to the 'survivors' but it was still running and well…Kokichi was a fan favourite so why not reuse him?

Why not break him down until he doesn't remember what happened? Why not make him trust them so they can throw him back in? He might not have been a survivor but who cares?"

Checkers: Do they not realize until they see him on V4

Apollo: "They don't even know there's gonna be a V4 until ads suddenly start playing with a strangely familiar silhouette

His behaviour has changed slightly and people start getting close to him and it hurts the V3 cast because they could have been close to him but they weren't and they hadn't even tried to find when when he stopped appearing.

They can't help but wonder if they could have saved him from this fate

But imagine not caring about someone and seeing them thrown back into DR and seeing them be liked by people"

Hina: Seeing Kokichi in that game, unable to remember anything that happened, is absolutely killing them Idk if he keeps his talent but If he brings the group together as a leader in that game?

Apollo: It tears them up inside because they finally notice that he IS a good leader…They just never gave him a chance

Hina: Imagine they try reaching out to him once he gets out But. He only recalls V4s cast

me: he falls for Shuichi anyway, as a handsome stranger he met, Shuichi gives up on telling him since he is not getting those memories back and has a fresh dose of trauma to deal with, so why bother him with Shuichi's guilt… well, Kokichi ends up finding out what happened in v3 anyway but it's like, Kokichi tells him he doesn't want to know about it and that he doesn't plan to look into it, because it would just feel weird to see himself there with no memories of it and possibly acting like someone else, but he stumbles onto a clip that has Shuichi in it online and gets curious and he thinks Shuichi hates him and only got close to him to get back at him like, mind you, he has no idea what his motivations and plans were in v3, he sees a clip that's from a curated narrative and he's just. it's super fucked up for him to see it's actually some Shuichi compilation I decided, so it starts tame, some sad moments, actually a cute moment from their FTE, and then he gets bitch slapped with Shuichi being mad at him and telling him off, and Shuichi seeming to only care about Kaito in ch5 he comes to Conclusions I am picturing it happening as they're in this fragile early stage of the relationship where they've been on a couple dates but haven't called it an official item and told people, so it's super bad - bad No reason for Kokichi to calm down and ground himself in something he can trust Shuichi about, nobody to intervene

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Will you love me? | {KokuZan}

Theme: Floof mostly

Note: Modern AU? They're sons of two businessmen who are working together (idk make it up), they're not dating yet- 

Muzan's dating Uta (I DONT SHIP THIS OK ITS JS FOR THE PLOT)

Koku's single :3 

aaand a bit of YoriiUta

×××

Yoriichi had always been the favorite. The favorite child, the media's favorite, the school's favorite. Michikatsu shadowed him almost always, only approached so people could get Yoriichi's number. Occasionally, people would go up to Michikatsu to get to know him, but it usually involved ulterior motives such as gaining fame or having some 'friend with benefits'. It tended to be women who were like this and, in fact, Michikatsu had absolutely no interest in them.

Days, months, years of being overshone by Yoriichi made life pretty much like being the background actor in a show—nobody knew or cared who you were, barely even noticed you. Sometimes even his own parents.

So it was strange when, one day, his parents told them both that they would be working with some other business. They invited the family who owned the business over for dinner. Interestingly, they also had a son, around Michikatsu and Yoriichi's age. The three of them were sent upstairs so the adults would talk about 'more important matters.'

The son was a bit on the shorter side with short, cropped black hair and intense red eyes. His name was Muzan, he said. But it wasn't about who he was, or how he looked. More about where his attention was drawn to.

Usually, people turned to Yoriichi, having recogonized him from some modeling in a magazine Michikatsu had never heard about before. But this time, Muzan addressed Michikatsu first with, what seemed like, genuine curiosity in his gaze.

"You're Michikatsu, right?" he asked.

Michikatsu and Yoriichi both stared at him, stunned. Having expected the attention to be droven to his younger brother, Michikatsu had already positioned himself behind Yoriichi. So when Muzan had spoken, not to Yoriichi, but to Michikatsu, the twins both stood there, half wondering if this was their imagination.

Then, perhaps getting a grip of himself, Yoriichi, relieved, drew the spotlight onto Michikatsu, stepping back to give the two space.

"I... Yeah, I am," Michikatsu said. He wondered how Yoriichi did this, constantly having to talk to random people he'd never met before but seemed to know way too much about him. Or just having to talk to people in general. "Uh... How do you know me?"

Muzan laughed. "You're the brother of Mr. Famous here, how would I not know you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, well, nobody bothers to learn my name," Michikatsu said scornfully. He sounded childish. Oh, whatever.

"Why not?" Muzan asked, frowning.

Yoriichi let out a breath.

"Yoriichi, here, is always the center of attention," Michikatsu said, trying to sound lighthearted. "People love him best."

"I'd prefer if they didn't, though," Yoriichi interjected, sounding guilty. "I dislike it."

Michikatsu lifted a shoulder. "Guess we're born to get everything we don't want."

"I get that," Muzan said, nodding. "Uta—my girlfriend—is always being pushed aside when people recognize me in public."

Girlfriend? And, for seemingly no reason, Michikatsu felt a momentary frown curve his lips down—before catching himself and plastering on a smile. "Well, welcome to the club to her, then..."

Muzan shook his head. "It's got to be very annoying, hasn't it? Personally, I like being in attention," he admitted, a grin growing on his face, before falling. "But it's hard for Uta, which makes it hard for our relationship in general."

"Ah. Maybe we should meet sometime. You and Yoriichi can walk down a red carpet and Uta and I could be your shadows..." Michikatsu offered. What kind of person was Uta? If she experienced something similar to himself, would Muzan perhaps be interested in Michikatsu in the future...? 

Yoriichi shook his head. "I'd rather be the shadow."

"Well, you don't always get what you want," Michikatsu said, a bitter laugh growing on his tongue.

Muzan sighed. "Sorry."

"What?" both of the Tsugikuni's asked, turning back to him.

"I'm the only one content with my position-ish," Muzan said, shrugging. "I feel bad."

"What, did you cause all of this?" Michikatsu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"...yep. I... cast a magic spell on you before you were born to get exactly what you don't want," Muzan said, raising his hands and wiggling his fingers in what was probably supposed to look like a sinister move—but looked ridiculous.

Yoriichi rolled his eyes.

"You look younger than us," Michikatsu said, lips quirking in a smile.

"...I am. But that doesn't matter," Muzan said, frowning. 

"Whatever you say."

×××

They ended up meeting Uta only a couple days later. Muzan had visited again with his parents and had brought her along. Yoriichi and Uta seemed to get along quickly—though their personalities seemed like polar opposites. Uta was like a ball of sunshine, very enthusiastic and Michikatsu wondered why she was neglected by the public. But, then again, Michikatsu had always been the social one.

"Uta seems nice," Michikatsu remarked, as he and Muzan wandered over to a different room.

"Yep! She's very sweet," Muzan said. Then paused, looking uncomfortable. "Oh, but there's something else..."

Michikatsu tilted his head in his direction. "Hm?"

"Okay, uhm." Muzan looked behind him and, once comfirming that nobody was there, turned back. "Don't tell her, okay?"

Michikatsu raised an eyebrow. "Tell her what?"

"I'm getting to that! Right, so, uhm... Yeah, I care for her a lot and everything... but..." Muzan hesitated.

"Go on. I won't say anything," Michikatsu assured him.

"Uh... I... I think I'm gay," Muzan blurted out. 

Michikatsu blinked. "What-"

"I don't know, or maybe I'm just bi or whatever. But, like, either I'm just losing feelings for her or I'm realizing I'm not into women because... because there's this other guy who I think I like and, well, yeah. I don't know how to tell her since I really do care about her a lot but, I just... Don't know," Muzan said, defeated.

Michikatsu patted him awkwardly. "You should probably just talk to her about it."

"I know..." Muzan whined. "I don't know how!"

"Don't know how to what?"

Muzan and Michikatsu turned to see Uta and Yoriichi walking towards them.

"Ehm..." Muzan hesitated and glanced at Michikatsu who gave him an encouraging look. 

Uta stopped, giving him a curious smile. "Hm?"

"I... uh... Nevermind. I'll tell you later," Muzan said quickly, plastering on a smile.

Uta nodded. "Alright! I have to go now, also." She waved her phone on the air. "My mother texted me."

"Ohhh, 'kay, 'kay," Muzan agreed. "See you later?"

"Mhm! I'll text you," Uta said with a smile. She turned to Yoriichi. "It was nice meeting you too!"

Yoriichi nodded. "It was."

Uta waved to Michikatsu then bounded towards the stairs on her way out.

Muzan and Michikatsu turned to Yoriichi who was watching Uta go.

"Do... you like her?" Muzan asked, a sly grin growing on his face.

Yoriichi snapped his head towards him, eyes wide. "What? No! Isn't she your girlfriend, anyways?"

Muzan rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah..."

Yoriichi frowned. "Is there something you have to say?"

Muzan lifted a shoulder. "Kinda? I may or may not be losing feelings for her."

Yoriichi raised an eyebrow. "She seems very likeable, though..."

"So you do like her?" Muzan asked, pointing at him. 

"Wha- No!" he protested.

Michikatsu watched them, his own thoughts mulling. So... if Muzan liked this other 'guy', that meant he liked a man, which meant Michikatsu had even more of a chance. Although he wasn't quite sure why it mattered. 

×××

Muzan and Uta started visiting more throughout the following month, on their own time. Michikatsu and Yoriichi occasionally visiting Muzan's house as well. They never went out in public, of course, but it was still very fun. They usually refrained from visiting people or having others visit since usually it turned into a fiasco. But it was fun, now.

Uta and Yoriichi were spending more time together whilst Muzan and Michikatsu were usually elsewhere, and Muzan still hadn't managed to break the news to Uta.

However, finally, Michikatsu persuaded him to tell her, saying it would only worsen their relationship if it continued on.

Muzan finally caved and agreed. So now Michikatsu and Yoriichi were spying on the two as Muzan drew up the courage to tell her.

Uta sat on Muzan's bed, organizing his things since he was, in fact, the messiest person to exist. Muzan entered, his nervousness clear on his face. He sat down beside her and she looked up with a smile.

"Hi!" she said, closing one of the drawers she'd been placing things in.

"Hey... Uhhh, Uta, can I talk to you?" he asked, eyes darting to and fro.

"Of course. What's wrong?" she said, placing her hands on her lap. 

"So... I... want to..." He paused. "Break up?"

She blinked. "What?"

"Sorry. I still care about you a lot, but I think I might be into men. I don't know for sure if it's only, but I don't see myself liking you the way I used to, I guess," Muzan said, talking quickly.

"Oh!" She frowned. "Am I doing something wrong?"

He shook his head frantically. "No, no, you're doing amazingly! I just don't like you... romantically anymore, I'm sorry. It's not your fault."

"Oh. Okay," she said, nodding slowly.

"You're... fine with it?" he asked.

She nodded again. "Its your own choice and your emotions. It's fine."

He smiled. "Thanks. This is why you're the best."

She laughed. "I wouldn't say I'm the best. Will you tell me how you figured this out, though?"

Muzan coughed. "There's... this person I like. A boy. Uhm..."

Uta's eyes lit up, seemingly forgetting the previous conversation. "Tell me about him. Do I know him?"

Muzan nodded. "Yeah."

"What's his name?" she asked.

"I'm... not telling you that," Muzan said, glancing towards where Michikatsu and Yoriichi were hiding.

Uta raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. "Tell me!"

"...Later," he said.

"Promise?"

"...yeah."

×××

"Yoriichi, you like Uta, right?" Muzan asked, leaning against the door frame. Uta had left and hour ago and Michikatsu and Yoriichi were about to go, having been called home by their parents.

Yoriichi shied away, averting his eyes. 

"Just tell her!" Muzan said encouragingly. "...but maybe after she tells you more formally that she and I broke up. Because she doesn't know you were stalking us."

"I wasn't stalking. And Michikatsu was too..." Yoriichi mumbled.

Muzan laughed. "Just do it, okay?"

Yoriichi nodded slowly. "Eventually."

"I didn't know you could be so shy," Michikatsu said pointedly as he and Yoriichi slipped into the backseat of the car quickly, tugging off the masks they had worn to avoid recognition.

"Shut up," Yoriichi huffed, looking away. He paused and looked back. "Don't you like Muzan?"

Michikatsu rolled his eyes, feeling his face heat up. "I do not!"

"Mhm. I've seen how you look at him," Yoriichi said, his own sort of smugness forming on his face as he gained the upperhand. 

"Uhm. I look at him normally!" Michikatsu protested, though he was sure his cheeks betrayed him. 

Yoriichi nodded—though in the most mocking manner. "Yes, very normally. Intensely, too, I may add."

Michikatsu spluttered for a response then opted to cross his arms, looking out the one-sided window as the streets rolled by. 

Did he like Muzan? Probably. Yes, he did. But the thing was, Muzan was probably not into him. He already had his eyes set on someone, he'd said. So... it was time to throw away any wishful thinking and put himself straight.

×××

...It didn't work.

Despite trying to think of anything else, putting his focus into whatever the hell his parents expected of him, literally doing the most random things ever, his mind would wander back to Muzan. It seemed sudden but, maybe, it was just some self-awareness that brought him to realize how much he'd actually been thinking about Muzan.

But then, it didn't matter if he did or didn't like Muzan. There wasn't that high of a chance for Muzan to like him, and he'd just broken up with Uta, so...

And yet.

(rushing this bc i'm lazy LMFAO)

Muzan texted him one day, asking if he wanted to come over. Obviously, Michikatsu said yes. Yoriichi was focused on something or other and was unable to come, so he arrived at the house alone.

Muzan let him in, guiding him to the room, talking about the most random things. They sat down—Muzan on his bed, Michikatsu on a chair. 

"Why'd you invite me over?" Michikatsu asked at one point, when the conversation paused. 

Muzan lifted a shoulder. "Just... bored? I guess?" he said. It was plausible. It just didn't sound genuine.

"Ooookay," Michikatsu said slowly, drawing out the word. "Are you doing anything this week?" he asked.

Muzan thought for a moment. "Yeah. I think I'm busy."

"You think?"

"I didn't look over the schedule," he said, a quick smirk flitting over his face. "They gave it to me and I only saw there was a lot written. I just tossed it aside... somewhere."

Michikatsu raised an eyebrow. "For someone who likes the fame, you're very bad at keeping it."

"Hey, people still love me, no?" Muzan said, flashing him a grin and leaning back against a mountain of pillows. 

Michikatsu laughed. "Sure."

"Anyways... Speaking of love," Muzan said, averting his eyes.

So this was what Muzan had asked him over for. "Yes?" 

"The... You know the boy I liked?" Muzan asked, still no meeting his eyes.

Michikatsu nodded—then realized Muzan couldn't see that. "Yes, I do. Liked? Did you stop liking him?"

"No, no," Muzan said, looking up quickly and shaking his head. "I still like him."

"Ah. Who is it?"

Muzan frowned. "About that."

"Hm?"

"It's you."

Michikatsu took a moment to process the words, staring blankly at Muzan. "...Huh?"

"It's you," Muzan repeated patiently, a slow blush rising in his cheeks. "I like you."

"...What?" Michikatsu had, in fact, still not comprehended what he was hearing.

"I like you, okay? I know it's weird and everything, especially since we haven't even known each other for over a year or whatever, I don't know, I'm sorry," Muzan ranted, stumbling over his words. 

"I... I-" Michikatsu was at loss of what to say, his head spinning. What??

Muzan groaned, grabbing a pillow and stuffing his face in it, screaming through gritted teeth. "Fuuck... Sorry, sorry, forget it all. Forget what I said," he mumbled, his words muffled by the pillow. "Sorry. I don't want to make it weird for you. Pretend I never said anything."

Michikatsu shook his head—realizing not for the first time that Muzan couldn't see him—and said, quietly, "It's not that. I don't... not like you? It's not that I don't like you, I like you, I don't not like you, I didn't know you liked me, I thought you didn't like me, I didn't know you didn't not like me." Then blinked, realizing he wasn't making sense.

Muzan had looked up. "Could you repeat that...?" he asked, after Michikatsu was done with his rant of nonsense. 

"I... Sorry. Yes," Michikatsu said, letting out a breath.

"You don't have to say sorry," Muzan said. 

"...You just said it more times than I did," he pointed it.

"Okay, true, sorry, go on."

Michikatsu raised an eyebrow but said nothing of it. "I meant that my silence wasn't because I dislike you or anything. I do like you... the same way? I think? Assuming you like me romantically... I didn't say anything before because you were dating Uta, and then you weren't really giving signs that you liked me, so..."

Muzan nodded slowly. "So you like me back?—ALSO I DID GIVE SIGNS." 

"You did not. And yes, I do," Michikatsu said with a quick nod, turning his head away, heat flickering in his face.

"Then... can we date?" Muzan asked, so suddenly Michikatsu jolted.

"Wha- I- ...yes," Michikatsu said, his face turning beet red.

Muzan laughed. "What's with all this blushing??"

"I'm... not!" 

"You are."

"Your question was just random," Michikatsu murmured. 

"It wasn't at all. Can I kiss you?" Muzan asked, grinning as Michikatsu turned an impossibly darker shade of red. "Your head is going to burst if you keep blushing."

"I'm... not blushing...!" Michikatsu insisted, though even the stupidest person could tell him he was.

"Sure, but are you going to answer me?" Muzan said, changing the subject.

"...Okay."

"Okay you'll answer or okay I can kiss you?" he asked, putting the pillow aside and standing up.

"...both?" Michikatsu said tentatively, hands fiddling on his lap.

Muzan smiled and promptly plopped onto the desk, a finger curling under Michikatsu's chin, tilting his head up.

"I don't... like this position," Michikatsu mumbled, frowning slightly. 

Muzan quirked an eyebrow. "No? You're still redder than a ripe tomato."

"...shut up."

"Make me," Muzan challenged, eyes glinting with mischief.

Michikatsu was hit with a sudden burst of confidence from who knows where; perhaps he had stolen it from Muzan. Nevertheless, he stood, coming a bit higher than Muzan despite the fact that he was sitting on the desk. He cupped Muzan's head in his hands, pulling him forward slightly. There was a sliver of space between their lips and Michikatsu waited, wondering if this was too much. Then Muzan leaned forward slightly and all was forgotten, his eyes fluttering close as their mouths fit together, the plush of Muzan's lips against his own.

The kiss was brief but sweet and when they pulled apart, they looked away simutaneously, a shy blush powdering their cheeks.

Then the door burst open and they scrambled back; Muzan pressed against the wall behind his desk, Michikatsu nearly tripping over the chair.

Uta barged in, a bag in her hand, arms raised up and a triumphant smile on her face. She took one look at them and quickly left, shutting the door behind her.

Muzan and Michikatsu blinked, then turned to stare at each other. There was a beat of silence before both burst into an awkward, nervous laugh as Michikatsu straightened himself up, fixing the chair. 

"So..." Muzan said casually, hopping down from the desk. 

Michikatsu tilted his head, looking down at him. "Hm?"

"You're my boyfriend now."

"And you're mine," Michikatsu agreed with a faint smile.

"Great. I'm going to go brag to Uta now, considering that she's here already," Muzan said. 

"No, don't-" Michikatsu whined, but Muzan was already striding out the door, deaf to his protests.

×××

« Word count: 2953 »

pretend this is good 💀

[randompajamaalt]

I'm deeply invested in your Gerry headcannons

Care to share some more? :D

absolutely!! I love gerry so much I have so many hcs for him so I hope you don’t mind if I just.. pour em all out for a second

He makes friends with crows as much as he physically can. Whenever he spots crows in the wild he feeds them and makes friends with them so he’s constantly getting new shiny little trinkets. If he has stuff that he doesn’t want anymore he’ll give it to his favorite crow of the week. And yes, he’s named them, and yes, he can tell all of them apart.

he has heterochromia!  one of his eyes is green and the other is a mix of blue and brown. He wears dark brown contacts to cover them because he was kind of convinced they were a weird ugly flaw from a young age and never really got over it. He used to have two blue eyes, only the right one having brown in it, but over time his right eye(the pure blue one) slowly got greener as his connection to The Eye got stronger. It was almost fully green by the time he got his tattoos.

he would totally have fun in the sky vast

his familial trauma from being abused probably got him into the habit of walking silently, and that only got better with the whole hunt thing, so now he can creep up on anyone without making a single sound. He usually does it on accident

Whenever he’s in a particularly bad situation or a super bad mood the temperature around him goes down. and like- gets chilly. It’s not usually noticeable but sometimes it’s super strong 

SO YOU KNOW HOW HE HAS EYE TATTOOS ON EVERY JOINT. I personally hc they’re all around the same size- kind of small-ish. And if they’re on every joint that means they’re on his knuckles, wrists, elbows, shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, toes, and UP HIS ENTIRE SPINE. UP TO WHERE HIS HAIR ENDS. but hear me out- the jaw is also a joint. WHAT IF. He had eyes on both sides of his jaw.

He pronounces “Chamomile” like “Sha-momma-lay” and nobody has ever bothered to correct him. Gertrude caught it on tape once

I don’t actually think he has a whole lot of piercings. Maybe his earlobes but tbh not much else? Idk why but he just seems like he would prefer tattoos and then just wear fake piercings everywhere else. Like he just doesn’t see the point of going through the whole process of trying to keep the piercings clean when he can just wear cool fake ones.

He likes drawing all over himself. One time Gertrude yelled at him abt it because he was using sharpie.

He loves stickers!! Sometimes he sticks them on books, sometimes on himself, and sometimes just anywhere he can reach. Whenever he passes a craft store he can’t help but buy a bunch of stickers.

He knows a tiny bit about sewing because of all the times he’s had to repair his clothes and sew on patches. He did make a skirt by himself once! Maybe I’ll draw it sometime :D

and yeah that’s all I can think of for now! that uh. was longer than expected. But it was fun!! Tysm for asking I love sharing my hcs :D

[way-too-many-ideas]

REMY LORE REMY LORE REMY LORE

but first a huge thank you to @love-you-fo-rever for helping me make her and develop her lore!! oh and a btw, any art of remy that I use will more than likely come from kat bc I can’t draw lmao

Okay okay okay lore time

Remy was the prototype created right before the CYN drones were made. Her little PN thing is CYR, but she is the only drone of that type due to a bug in her code. Remy cannot ever be fully 100% charged. You know how cell phones have a maximum capacity for their battery? Yeah, so that maximum drops over time, so even if your phone shows it’s 100% charged, if your maximum capacity is (for example) 90% then really ur phone is 90% charged (this is just my understanding of it, this probably isn’t how it actually works oops). It’s basically the reason why phones seem to die faster and faster over time.

So, Remy’s max isn’t 100% (I haven’t decided what it is lol), and she basically has narcolepsy as a result. I also like the idea that the code, which I just keep calling the REM code, was supposed to allow the drones to charge faster/have more energy bc they would be in the drone equivalent of REM sleep. Idk I haven’t worked out all the logistics yet. Anyways, because of the faulty REM code, she also doesn't always sleep through a whole REM cycle, meaning that sometimes she doesn't/can't even recharge to her max. The code couldn’t really be fixed without fucking up everything else and so she was the only version of this drone to be made since they caught the bug very quickly.

This glitch is also why her eyes are different colors. Her eyes were both originally the light blue/teal color, but after her first REM cycle, the glitch took effect and as a result one of her eyes became a darker blue (aka I wanted her to be quirky and different and I also thought it would be fun for that to be the like, tell (for lack of a better word), that she is glitched) Also, when Remy sleeps, her face doesn’t just say “sleep mode” or whatever, it just says REM, hence how she got her name.

She was one of Tessa’s drones. Idk how the Elliot’s got her, maybe the same way they found Cyn? Idk, I haven’t thought that out yet. Anyways, Tessa loves her and thinks it’s silly how Rem will just suddenly fall asleep and loves to like cuddle with her when she does. Her parents have definitely found them curled up together asleep in the most random places. Of course, Tessa names her Remy after seeing her in sleep mode. Tessa’s parent didn’t want to keep Rem, but how could they say no to their precious daughter, I mean she’s even given the drone a name! But since Remy’s glitched, Tessa’s parent don’t really care for her. They only let her stick around because Tessa loves her. They kind of just ignore her. Remy isn’t bothered by this because that means that she tends to go unnoticed and can therefore get away with shit. She has definitely snuck Tessa some treats after bedtime and such. Oh, and she has red hair because Tessa saw her blue eyes/core and was like "red will look so good on you girl" (I get the vibe that Tessa always wanted her drones to look as like stylish as possible)

Remy is chill with all the other drones before everything goes to shit. They all understand that she can't really be of much use due to her being a potential hazard, but they would definitely try to include her when possible. However, she was still able to easily hide away/be forgotten about (for lack of a better term).

Okay so now to the trauma weeeee

Remy was Cyn’s first victim. I imagine that since Remy is typically ignored/hidden in the shadows, nobody really notices she’s gone. She def went missing a little bit before Cyn killed everyone. The dragon wings were the first wing design Cyn tried out (definitely not because I love dragons nope never). But, Cyn didn’t really like them and kept messing around with them therefore damaging the membrane. Remy was tortured, going through constant changes thanks to Cyn. Since she was essentially Cyn’s practice toy, she practically got taken apart and put back together multiple times.

Rem knows she was tortured, but she doesn’t remember much of it. She slowly gets her memories back after the events of the show cause something to trigger and make her remember. She also knows that N doesn't have his memories, and she knows it's because of V somehow, but she doesn't know all the details.

She has the male murder drone legs because she did it to herself. Cyn originally gave her the peg legs, but Remy absolutely hated them. She had a hard time keeping her balance and she would fall a lot more whenever she would randomly fall asleep. So one day, they’re out on a mission or whatever and they stumble upon a dead disassembly drone and Rem’s so fucking done with the peg legs that she literally cuts them off and welds the other legs to her (hence the scars around her legs).

She’s a masochist for sure. She’s also more rebellious since she could get away with a bunch of shit before everything happened. She’s quiet at first, but after the show as she grows closer with everyone (and works through some shit) she breaks out of her shell. I feel like she has some sort of Doberman/German Shepherd/Pitbull energy. She's like very protective over everyone, like V levels of overprotective.

Okay, that's all of the Remy lore for now, there's definitely more I could include but I also kind of want to make those separate posts. I'm literally obsessed with her Kat seriously ate. I'm so excited to start writing out like little scenarios and stuff!!!

[shadow-the-artist-idiot]

Anywho, taking a break from the TMA posting(i swear i'll post about more than just tma, its just clawing at my brain) to yap about my SKRUNKLY !!!! MY SILLY !!!!! MY,,, DRUMROLL PLEASE,,, SONA !!!!

Little trigger warning for Self Harm and Suicide n all that. Uh.

Though shes really more of. Just an oc at this point.

....

We ignore

ANYWAYS idk if you noticed. But shes Fucked Up™️. MOST of her scars are from just absolute random bullshit i put her thru when i was younger to get anger n frustration out. So i AM trying to fix that. Once i get her backstory straight, ill make another lore dump post about this stupid motherfucker i prommy.

Anyways, fun fact, this stupid bastard was my first oc EVER!!! Shes my stupid motherfucking bastard and i love her <33

Shes AroAce(just like me fr fr), n uses she/her. For now. Itll PROBABLY stay that way, cuz ive hard her like that for a LONG time, but if i start using other pronouns then ive prolly decided that shes pangender. Like me. Sparkles.

ANYWAYS heres a few random fun facts about that stupid whore

-Shes a Living Shadow, which is my own lil custom species. Idk if I'll end up lore dumping about the species itself or not.

-She has a DAUGHTER. Her name is Melody and shes both incredibly responsible and also a menace, and we love her for it. Shes also based on an axolotl.

-Shadow was just a full on Queen for a few years, before she finally was able to pass it down to Melody. She then proceeded to be even more of an absolute bastard to make up for those years she was forced to be responsible. Shes a little chaotic motherfucker, and if you see her in the castle you better run the FUCK away.

-Shadows like. Old as hell. I dont remember exact age, but iirc shes like mid 40s. Note, this is because i was roleplaying her in a chaotic ass server with a chaotic ass timeline and i simply cannot be bothered to age her down(if i did, Melody would poof out of existence and i dont want that, i love ky fucked up little queen)

-Shadows a SHORT ass motherfucker, and contrary to the fact above this one, i DO remember how short she is. Shes 5'2", and she holds enough rage to kill 56 grown men in her small little itty bitty frame(this does not reflect irl, i am unfortunately average height)

-Funnily enough, Shadow has both the goofiest and most traumatized backstory behind her scars. Like, a LOT of her scars are from self harm/suicide attempts, but also shes missing her hand because a character of mine from a complete other universe appeared and gnawed it off(bryseis my beloved).

-Shadow pissed off the Goddess of Death so much that she made Shadoe unable to die. Now you may be asking yourself: How the fuck is this a punishment. WELL. At the time, she was INCREDIBLY suicidal. Still kinda is. At this point, its switched from a punishment to just something thats kinda there now that Shadow and Trius(goddess of death) are friends.

-Shadow canonically has a MASSIVE alcohol problem. She bounces between drinking so much she passes out, and just putting a little wine with her coffee(it tastes disgusting) (she doesnt care)

-Shadow would probably have a smoking problem too, if she knew they existed. Nobody tell her cigarettes exist.

-Shadow drinks the strongest coffee you can possibly imagine. No its not healthy. Yes she drinks it anyways. Yes its kinda necessary(she has INSANE insomnia)

Anyways uh, shadow has some silly magic,, which is why in her ref she has illusions. She can create illusions, open portals, and melt into shadows, though that last one is something all Living Shadows have.

In Living Shadow culture or whatever, scars are INCREDIBLY frowned upon. Meaning, typically, if someone has even a small scar, they'll probably be hiding it with illusion magic. Shadow does the same thing, which is why I vary between drawing her with scars and drawing her without them.

Jesus this post is long as hell, im gonna explode. Okay uh ive talked enough methinks, if you wanna art Shadow then absolutely feel free !!! Just make sure to tag me so i can reblog that shit!!!

:DDDD

[nudystar]

okay this is my final statement, cause deadass I’m over it now

for the server thing, I did feel sorry and apologized to WHO I needed to apologize to. if I ain’t apologize to you, then idk what to tell you. apologies to the folks that had roles that we lied about.

to the folks that I ain’t never had beef with me, why are yall tryna make somethin out of nothin ? like deadass, some of yall I haven’t talk to in a minute and some of yall I never even interacted with. yall sayin yall fighting for your friends but I’m the villain when I do it ? please get out my face with that. you starting stupid ass beef when I don’t even talk to half of yall wtf. yet I’m childish ? alright.

naj, you specifically, what problem do I have with you? I want you so specific and let me know what we have going on. I never had an issue to begin with, we was never beefing so why tf are you talking so much shit about me? you trying to act all big and bad when I never had a problem with you. now you wanna talk as “civilized adults”, after dragging my name through the mud FOR THREE DAYS ? yeah no, kiss my black ass and suck my damn clit !

do I feel bad that your friend got a death threat ? yes ! but it sure as hell wasn’t me or my mutuals 🤷🏽‍♀️. unlike yall, we have some couth and don’t be bothering nobody.

y’all constantly say I’m sending high schoolers to fight my battles and paint me as this pussy bitch. meanwhile y’all akeke and laughin with mean girls and damn near bullies, constantly dragging folks names through the mud fa no reason. to this day, yall stay on imani’s ass about a discord server from three months ago, after handing out apologies like an eviction notice. deadass, all seriousness, leave them alone. some of yall ain’t even deserve an apology but hey, whatever helps yall sleep at night

y’all stay coming at me with this “I got high schoolers to fight my battles” and “I got a gang of middle schoolers hyping me up”. boy yall sure don’t know me 😹, yall just assume everything cause some of them have minors in their bio. I got moots that’s my age and younger moots (oldest is 19). on top of that, I’ve met these niggas when I was 17, say it with me SEVENTEEN !

omg, crazy right ? I met them when I was a minor, that’s like so insane ! so if you do the math (correctly !), I’ve known these niggas for two years. I’m sorry that I have a strong ass friendship and I got folks who actually care about me 🤷🏽‍♀️ . meanwhile, yall are mdni blogs interacting with minors. hmm, but doesn’t mdni stand for MINORS do not interact ? or maybe I just miss a memo ?

small note, yall literally lack math, english, and comprehension skills if you think my friend, juice/mypimpademia, is 14-15. not only can yall not spell, yall don’t make sense either. if she had her blog for about 2-3 years and she’s 14, wouldn’t she be 11-12 writing on here ? oh, hm, that’s doesn’t seem right. y’all just be seeing minor and think it means 13-14, oh y’all do not know the definition of minors…..which means anyone BELOW the age of 18, 10+8, 9+9, 14+4. cmon now guys, I thought we were better than this !

speaking of them, yall stay talking about how I got high schoolers as friends yet be so mad that yall are blocked by these same minors 😹. niggas are so pressed about being blocked by these high schoolers, it’s sad ain’t gonna lie. now I ain’t they damn momma or their damn parent, so idgaf what they do and when they do it

also, to think I’m trying to disrespect someone talking is honestly so…wow ! y’all saying I’m correcting her aave when I use aave my own self, you can literally scroll and see it yourself but anyways ! not only that, say I grew up in a white neighborhood just cause I corrected her grammar ? not her aave, her grammar. maybe if she wasn’t being rude asf to the op, nobody wouldn’t say anything but hey 🤷🏽‍♀️.

not only that, aren’t you insinuating that only white folks can talk proper ? that they’re the only ones who can speak properly ? isn’t that pushing a stereotype to a black girl ? hmmm, says a lot about you as a writer, especially as black writer.

to the eren discourse, what’s to say atp ? y’all still gonna romanticize hood love and paint black love as violent and stereotypical as much as you can. yall gonna continue to slap eren as this fake black man and still gonna be blinded to your wrongdoings. y’all still gonna paint onyankapon as this stereotypical black man who ain’t shit, paint him as aggressive asf and only smoke weed. but hey if that floats your boat, it sure asf will sink mine !

in conclusion, I genuinely don’t care if black tumblr don’t fuck with me no more. imma still stand on what I said 😹, yall ain’t making change shit about what I said unless I said something out of line. some of yall did already but I digress !

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode (sau)six

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

now that i think about it, one thing is bothering me. Why is mr jung so obsessed with finding ki ho only? Didn't he mention there were four members in the family? So why is he so adamant on finding his son ki ho and not the other one? I'm confused. It's true that we didn't see the older in the first episodes so I'm wondering if the brother was already with the mother when ki ho was still in chunsam. It might have been mentioned the brother was already with the mother. I'm not sure.

The whole family wants to keep mr jung a secret and pretend nothing happened. Makes you wonder how far he (mr jung) went. No, I don't want to think about it. I just noticed how the mother is always limping. Mr Jung is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad person.

I'm glad we finally got answers but I would be happier if mr jung was behind bars and the whole family can live in peace.

On another note, I am so happy to see president hwang keeping his promise and re-realeasing old ran joo albums. Let's cross fingers she'll reach the 20 million mark before the end of her contract.

I'm grateful that the show doesn't only focus on the ki ho story, they're also giving time for ran joo's story to develop. I just want this whole mess to be over and ran joo must win or else, i'll riot!!!

I've already talked about it but the little details are everything. You can see how rnj company treats ran joo and mok ha like they're less than them. They don't let them know about eun mo rae appearing on heyday again. The Heyday cast treating eun mo rae's manager with way more respect than mok ha. Everyone wants them to fail. It's unfair because there's an obvious power imbalance between ran joo and mok ha vs the rest of the company. Rnj (company) have a lot of connections. The CEO is literally a millionaire, even a billionaire (idk). And then you have ran joo who has been forgotten for her behavior and vocal nodule. The only person on her side is mok ha, a woman that has lived on a deserted island for fifteen years and has a hard time adjusting to the world. No wonder they have a difficult time reaching that goal.

Eun mo rae's manager is as evil and manipulative as lee seo jun. He's blackmailing mok ha into shutting up and agreeing with everything he asked for appearing in heyday again.

I feel for both ran joo and mo rae because lee seo jun is only going to be profiting from them until they're no longer 'young and fresh'. He only describes them as 'cash cows'. He doesn't hold the same value he used to when he was a nobody and ran joo chose him as her new ceo. Money changes people and lee seo jun is a great example of that.

I was worried eun mo rae would just be a filler character but no, the show is giving us the whole backstory behind her career. I am sorry that she knows she was the second choice. If Mok ha was at seoul station to meet with ran joo, then eun mo rae wouldn't be where she is now. She must have a lot of pent up frustration and anger. She idolized ran joo when she was younger but now that she knows ran joo doesn't like her (for many reasons), the image she had of her idol is now broken (like her heart).

There are so any character relations and that's what makes the show good imo. Eun mo rae and ran joo's rivalry is interesting to see.

At this point, I just want bo geol to tell mok ha he is in fact ki ho because this whole back and forth between being caring and all of a sudden distant is tiring me out.

I know he's protecting both himself and mok ha from his father because, once the truth is out, there's no guarantee the boar (mr jung) will leave them alone. Ki ho has tried time and time again to escape from his father but he would be back with him because he is his father. No matter how ab*sive mr jung was, police would bring ki ho back to him because they're related. That's why he changed his entire identity. The psychological damage mr jung has put on the whole family is unfathomable.

Talking about mr jung, here's my theory on why he's obsessed with finding ki ho. So, as we know they were a family of four until the father hit woo hak (forgot his old name) on the head with a chair. The mother didn't leave woo hak for even a second (which is understandable of course). So that left ki ho and mr jung. Ki ho was the only one in the family brave enough to stand up to mr jung. Ki ho's brother and the mom were trying to appease the tension by lying to the father or agreeing with what he was saying in fear of being hit. I think ki ho being the youngest, his patience wasn't as strong as his momand brother's. He was the one admitting to wanting to run away from him. He was the one who said he'd be happier without his dad here. Ki ho got tired and he exploded purely and simply. Mr Jung was so used to everyone being obedient that ki ho's outburst was the final straw. Mr Jung took ki ho with him to chunsam island and that's where the real nightmare started (he was already living it before but in chunsam it was like the ultimate level). Ki ho had no one with him, no one to help him forget for even a second what was going on at home. He was alone. Even when he and mok ha got closer, he didn't confide in her. He kept everything in himself, because he knew the moment he talked his father would find out and make him pay for it. Ki ho is so strong for surviving all of this. He helped mok ha escape from her father, but he couldn't escape from his. Mr Jung won't stop until he finds ki ho, because he's the key to finding the mom and the brother.

The thing that's telling me ki ho and his father living on chunsam island happened after the chair incident is because when the father saw ki ho saved money to try and escape he said something along the lines of "Did you find her (the mom)? Is that why you saved all that money?" He wouldn't have said it if chunsam happened before seoul. Or maybe my brain is too tired and confusing a thing for another.

If the two previous points didn't make any sense to you, it's normal. When I'm trying to explain something that's deep and complex, I have a hard time finding the right words and writing coherent sentences. Sorry for that ehe.

Mok ha confronting eun mo rae was a sweet sweet moment. Both rivals finally meeting and mok ha not backing out. I'm proud of her. When nobody is on her side, mok ha proves she can take care of things on her own.

Bo geol being subtle about his way of helping mok ha is doing things to my heart 💓

this was a good episode, i'll give it a 8.75/10

[graceofgosh]

going on anon instead of commenting because im closeted but abt the they/them degendering post. ur very correct but you also imply that trans men dont share this experience. i am a trans man and have also experienced they them degendering. im not trying to be rude, correct you, or disuade the conversation from acknowledging trans women. im also not denying it if you are trying to say that this is a WORSE issue for trans women - because it could be, i wouldn't know. i just think it does a disservice to the conversation to act like degendering is a phenomenon specific only to women. ignore this if that was just a vent post and you wherent actually trying to start a discussion, im sorry for bothering you if so. to reiterate this isn't meant to be a "making this about me" thing, it's just that ur post says directly that only trans women experience this, and that isn't true in my personal experience so I just wanted to say that bc i think that separating trans men & women from eachother TOO much in these sorta discussions can be detrimental to progress because it can create a divide that pits us against each other when truthfully we are in the same boat, even if many of our experiences differ. idk if uve maybe had an experience where a trans men invalidated u for this, and that's why u said only trans women ever get it. if that's the case it's really unfortunate- people should listen to others when they share their experiences. but it likely means that person just hasnt had that happen to him or dosent perceive it as an issue (i feel like most trans ppl would be bothered by it, but everybody's different). im sorry that people aren't respecting ur pronouns, i hope that things get better for you!

yes i think i have clarified my position after reading the tags and also reddit people accusing me of thinking trans men are oppressing me(????) its not that i dont think it happens to transmascs its that in my experience when a trans woman gets a punitive they(often during a bit dramatic internet event where she's being trial by fire'd), if she or other transfems point out that people are taking away her gender as a punishment, in my experience and observations more often than not she will be told she's crazy even by a lot of people within the community. im not saying it can't happen to transmascs im saying when it happens to transfems being dogpiled or punished nobody seems to care or notice bc its "neutral". people on tumblr have been way more chill with this and seem to understand my point but on reddit and Twitter and other spaces i see this happen a lot

basically what i was trying to vent about wasn't saying "this never happens to anyone else transmascs totally always get their gender respected" but "when this happens to trans women, we seem to be the only ones who notice it is happening to us, and people will call us crazy for noticing" that's what i meant by invisible. i don't think im erasing or denying trans mascs by saying that, i dont talk about transmasc bc i don't have life experience as one, i just have experience knowing that when this specific thing happens to trans women we get told by people of every background that it didn't happen.

hopefully this clarifies it better i dont know how much better i can say it im not making universal dogmatic statements im making experiential ones ones people keep assuming bad things about me for this post and it's frustrating

[petruchio]

hope this isn't a weird and irrelevant reply to your personal post but honestly i really get what you mean. tbh i've been there too. i get how being in a place where you're confident in some aspects of yourself and doing enviable (?) things can be pretty isolating, especially if you're (perceived as) a woman, you feel like you're good at [insert some skills that matter to you], and you generally like the way you look. it can feel like you lack empathy because you don't share some of the insecurities that people around you experience and bond over (though you may be struggling with something different that they don't get), it can feel like you can't tell if you're a good friend or not because others talk about you in terms of what you've accomplished or what you have rather than who you are as a person, it can feel like your positive emotions aren't real because they're atypical and viewed as "unrelatable" idk. i feel like loving yourself and believing in your abilities is a net good but not a substitute for being around people who actually relate to your experiences. for me it's essentially feeling likable but not understandable (or understood), and ime it's something that isn't "solved" by having a lot of friends. it makes sense if you feel like that's not enough. not sure if any of this is actually similar to what you're going through, but i hope you get the chance to be around people who Get It, and i hope you feel less alone soon. you seem like a genuinely kind person on top of being great at writing/analysis -- i love the way you write about the things you're excited about. wishing you all the best <3

it's not weird or irrelevant AT ALL! it honestly always does make me feel better when i come on here and speak about something i'm struggling with and other people say, hey, yeah, me too. especially when the thing i'm complaining about is feeling alone, it's comforting to know that other people feel the same way. like, we're all lonely together, which makes us less alone in our loneliness.

and yeah i think you're right -- confidence is one of those weird things where the more you work on it, the more difficult it can become to relate to other people. people are always telling me i'm so confident and asking my advice on things and i'm always like... idk how to tell you to just stop caring what people are thinking. i mean, obviously i do care what people think of me, but maybe the problem is that because i'm my own worst critic, i can't imagine anyone hating me more than i already hate myself, which paradoxically means that i assume everyone loves me? or maybe it's because i can't imagine anyone genuinely giving a shit about what i do, so it's easy to just do whatever i want. because it's not that i don't care what people think, but just that i pretty much assume they aren't thinking about me, so why would i bother trying to impress them? (like some of my friends will describe in detail the logic behind their instagram story posts. and i'm just like... do you really think other people are noticing this? do you really think people care that much what you, some random person, is posting? it's kind of crazy to spend so much time thinking about yourself through the lens other people. just post if you think it's funny, or don't. nobody is actually thinking that much about you.)

but to your point, i feel like that is kind of where a lot of the loneliness comes from. because people describe certain insecurities or thought patterns that they have, and i'm just like yeah i truly cannot relate to that, or yeah, i would never do that. and when i do express things i'm struggling with, people act so shocked and never offer any kind of support because they're like "but your life is so perfect!" (which is INSANE! nobody has a perfect life! and i know it sounds like the most obnoxious problem ever, like oh my life is so great that nobody believes me when i say i'm still inexplicably sad, but it is a really isolating and lonely existence!!) and then i guess it kind of becomes a cycle where people say or do certain things, i don't relate to them at all, and then i wonder why i'm still struggling so much even though i'm honestly doing fine, and then i feel guilty for even struggling or feeling down because i don't really know what else i can do to get better, since again, i'm objectively doing fine.

i get what you mean about feeling likable but not understandable. recently i was on a second or third date with someone, and i had this weird out of body experience where it was like, i could see myself doing everything right -- i could see that he was totally into me and that i was saying all the right things and laughing at the right times and making the right jokes, but i didn't feel like a person? i knew i could make him like me, and that it wouldn't even be that hard, but i knew he would never actually know me, not even if we kept dating for years. he would always have just "liked" me, like you said. it was a really weird and uncomfortable feeling. i came home and wrote in my journal "sometimes i feel like i'm so good at pretending to be a person that i don't feel like i'm actually a person at all"

SORRY for these long rambling answers. i guess i'm feeling some type of way about my inability to function normally lately. being 24 is just weird i guess. it's uncomfortable and awkward and frustrating, and so much of it feels like this sense of cognitive dissonance between being really good at acting like an adult but still feeling like you just want to scream and cry and throw things like a toddler but you know you can't. i guess someday it will all make sense. or maybe it won't. but i'll keep writing about it either way <333

[mr-bugs]

My mind is a curse I cannot escape

warnings: generally dark themes, this is a collection of my recent thoughts about life and are not organized (i think) so heavy themes ahead proceed with caution stay safe and uhh yeah!

oh and its like 900+ words so uhhh strap in ig idk

I’m tired.

And yet..

Sleep evades me like the plague.

I’m tired in a different sense.

Tired of just being a pawn in her game to win against him.

I’ve gotten used to it at this point.

If I hadn’t I would’ve died along the way.

Every little fight..

Every little disagreement.

How I’ve grown to hate the idea of family.

The world has shown me examples of happy, accepting families.

Why must I be taunted like this?

It’s like holding a treat in front of a dog but it’s tied to a stick on its back so that it will forever be out of reach.

The universe owes me such things.

It’s shameful to say I’m jealous of the love shared by those families but I am only mortal.

I was denied such advantages, of course I would be jealous.

Jealous of the fact I have to live with the emotional baggage they lack.

The concept of family has been ruined for me.

And I think I’m okay with that.

Afterall, it’s not exactly my fault, is it?

That they argue.

That they lie.

That they cheat.

It’s not my fault they are like this.

Or their parents, or their parents’ parents, and so on and so forth.

Even then I feel useless for not being able to do anything.

The world around me is a blurry haze and yet I can’t seem to care less.

Days just faze by like water slipping through your fingers.

I try to grasp at the vague silhouettes and yet nothing comes from it.

Vague promises of greatness and love.

But I do not feel such things.

My mind is a constant state of numbness.

I am my own curse that I cannot escape from.

I was never blessed with such things.

Maybe if I had been I wouldn’t be such a cold monster.

A creature doomed to never be loved.

To never feel the kindness that heals the heart.

I don’t like this game the universe is playing.

I want to be loved, I want to feel as if I matter.

Death seems to bring that feeling.

When you’re dead people will talk about how much you mattered but when you’re alive nobody listens to your pleads for help.

It’s an amusing contradiction, isn’t it.

How the human mind amuses me.

I don’t exactly want to die but the idea of eternal rest doesn’t bother me as much as it should.

I’ve accepted the fact I will die one day, I suppose.

My flesh shall rot away and I will be nothing but bones.

Then my bones will be grinded down and to dust I shall return.

My existence is a poorly written drama show and I am a side character in it.

I am watching my life from the perspective of a viewer live as I act it.

A player in a game where I am the protagonist.

A side character of my own story.

A pawn in my own game.

Perhaps I’ve come to terms with that.

Maybe I’m okay with it.

Just fading into the background.

Another number to add to the census.

Perhaps I won’t amount to anything.

My name will be lost to time and time will carry on as if nothing happened.

My life is slipping away through the cracks while I watch uselessly.

What happened?

I was such a smart kid.

A “gifted” kid, if you will.

I was praised for being such an exemplary student.

But as I got older it turned into a basic expectation.

I lost what made me feel like I was worthy of praise.

Something that made me feel as if I was worth noticing.

But now.

Now nothing is good enough.

I have to keep trying.

Rip and tear at myself just to feel that praise once more.

To feel noticed.

And yet.

The praise I receive doesn’t feel.. Right

I don’t deserve it.

The kind words.

I shouldn’t be allowed to experience such nice things.

I haven’t done well enough.

Not enough.

Never. Enough.

Everything I do is mediocre.

I need to try harder.

Till my bones wear down and till I cannot give no more.

It will never be enough.

An endless cycle of hellish torment that will never cease.

An unlovable monster born from a cruel society.

Too much to be loved and too doubtful to accept it.

Even then it claws its way through life, just for a distant star in the sky.

How his words soothe me.

How his presence keeps me alive.

A star I love and yet cannot touch for my claws will ruin it.

Everything I’ve let go has my marks on it.

My blood.

My words.

My touch.

I do not deserve to have nice things.

But, I cannot let him go.

He is my light.

My guiding star in the treacherous seas.

He is a flower I cannot touch for my rotten hands will wilt him.

Maybe he finds me boring.

Too much.

Too little.

Too uncaring.

Too caring.

He will get tired of me.

He will not love me one day.

I do not deserve him.

One day he will figure out I am not enough for him and leave.

I think I am okay with that.

Not really, I’d die if that happened.

But I shall rest easy knowing that he chose someone better.

I’ll rest easy knowing he’s happy.

[giogio1998]

How I imagine the JLI looks like in real life, a post nobody asked for:

Lately I’ve been going through the worst art block and I wanna draw something JLI related but it’s not going to happen bc my life is a nightmare so I decided to use words to describe physical aspects I think the JLI would have irl.

Disclaimer: I’m sick, I took cold medicine and I should go to sleep but I’m here instead writing this soon to be terrible post so pls enjoy.

Height: (nem sei se é assim que se escreve essa porra mas tô com preguiça de pesquisar)

I won’t be saying how tall I think everyone is mainly cause idk basic math but I believe that: Guy is the tallest of the group, idk ginger people give the vibe that they’re tall, I’m Brazilian so I haven’t seen many gingers in my life so I could be wrong, after Guy comes Booster, bc he’s blonde it’s the second whitest thing a white person could be besides ginger and white people are tall, it’s science (it absolutely isn’t science) then after that comes Ted I don’t think he is a short king but I don’t think he’s super tall either. Then comes the girls and I 100% believe that Tora is taller than Bea bc she’s Norwegian and like I said earlier white people are tall, also Brazilian women are short, I would know, in fact this week I saw on Twitter that the average Brazilian woman is 1,61cm and I’m 1,63cm which I know u don’t care but I wanna put on the internet that I’m above average.

Body … shape ? Idk:

I just think the guys aren’t that muscular, I imagine them with like swimmer body type u know ? Idk how to explain it but I personally don’t like when super heroes are drawn super muscular it doesn’t look natural idk. And for the girls I always imagine them to be like Bea has big butt small boobs and tora has big boobs and small butt bc every best friend duo is like that irl, if you never noticed it now you’ll see it everywhere.

Hair and stuff:

Bea has long wavy light green hair with a side part (idc that it isn’t cool anymore it is easier to draw ok, leave me alone). Tora has shoulder length straight white hair and I mean white not platinum, she has ice powers, she isn’t Paris Hilton. For the guys nobody cares so … yeah :)

Eye color:

That meme that every DC character has blue eyes is so real, to me tho I think Bea and Guy don’t, Bea has green eyes and Guy has brown eyes.

Nationality:

“Giovana that’s not a physical thing” SHUT UP, this is my post. I just wanted to mention that bc isn’t it weird that the justice league > INTERNATIONAL < is formed by 3 American dudes, 1 Brazilian and 1 Norwegian? That bothers me so much idk why so to give me some peace of mind I diced that Guy is Australian, Ted is Canadian and Booster can still be American, I feel better already.

Skin tone and things on skin … idk guys it’s late and I’m groggy:

I think Guy has a lot of freckles idk if u notices but I add them to his face in all my drawings. Tora has a reddish nose bc you know when it’s cold and your nose gets a little red ? I think that’s a cute detail. In my head Ted has dimples and only my opinion matters. Bea has black eyebrows and lips that’s bc of a fanfic I created in my head, and to me she’s a white Latina I know some people feel uncomfortable that she’s white and I know that bc some gringos commented on my posts asking “why is she light skinned” and I could have an entire conversation on why this sort of question is very stupid but for this post I’ll just say that Brazil had a lot of European immigrants throughout its entire history and as a result of that a lot of Brazilians are white, including me and it’s not a big deal. And for booster there’s nothing to add he’s just booster :D

I wanted to write more stuff but the cold medicine is starting to kick in so I’m gonna head out o/