#nobody asked for my thoughts but here they are anyway

[andromeda-collective]

i have multiple and im going to mention all of them but im starting with THIS FUCKER HERE (blade from honkai star rail) AND I HAVE A VERY STUPID REASON FOR IT

there was an minigame thing with a character named march 7th (dont ask) and there were little events you could encounter throughout it and one of them was that you had to choose between a red and blue pill (or the third option of giving a nonanswer) and since my choice didnt matter at all i went with the red pill because i know that the matrix is a transfem allegory and i also hc march as transfem but then another character made a little comment that blade would ALSO pick the red pill which completely makes sense for his character but since i was still on the transfem allegory mindset i had the thought of "wait does this make blade transfem??" so shes transfem to me now 👍

estrogen would NOT save her. not even REMOTELY. he's a suicidal immortal who physically cannot die because of a ritual his old friend-with-romantic-implications tried who he now wants dead more than anything else. hes basically possessed by evil plants that revive him every time he dies and he goes fucking feral. hes a mass murderer with a bounty of over 8 billion. nothing can save him. but transitioning might make her miserable life slightly more manageable? plus i mean.. throwing your old name away and being a new person? obviously a metaphor for being trans /j

boothill! this is slightly for shipping reasons (turning a het ship wlw for funzies) but mostly projecting my gender-nonconforming transness onto the only southern disabled character i know of. are we different kinds of southern? yes. are we different kinds of disabled? also yes. do i care? absolutely not. (also because butch southern women make the world go round)

also sampo because the idea that this fuck is a cisgender ANYTHING is laughable. this is a nonbinary transfem boymoding for shits and giggles who randomly switches to the girl voice when talking to someone JUST to fuck with them because nobody else would believe them and the person would think theyre losing it. typical masked fool stuff. gaslight gatekeep girlboss.

and then from genshin impact: zhongli. who has CANONICALLY used shapeshifting to become a woman. and has likely done so on more than one occasion. this guy is CANONICALLY GENDERFLUID WHETHER PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT. and you can obviously be genderfluid and transfem at the same time so why the hell not :D

most other characters i hc as transfem i dont have much of a reason for, but im gonna list them anyways cause hell yeah

argenti (hsr) - she can have a little estrogen as a treat

dr. ratio (hsr) - no reason i just think it could work

sunday (hsr) - something something religious-trauma-and-giving-into-what-you-once-believed-to-be-sinful

diluc (genshin) - fanfiction on ao3 changed my brain chemistry

kazuha (genshin) - also no reason i just think it fits

sebastian solace (a game on roblox called pressure) - im gonna be honest with you op, i just like putting this fucker in situations. and i would love to see the struggle of medically transitioning when you've been forcibly had your body and dna altered to the point of no longer being human. even ignoring for a few seconds the thought that maybe hrt wouldnt have the same effect (or any effect at all) due to the experiments, how could you will yourself to alter yourself medically in any way after the horrific trauma you've experienced? its between fucking with your already fucked up body or having the dysphoria kill you from the inside out. i am rotating her in my mind even harder now.

p.ai.nter (from same game) on the other hand? a lot simpler. make the ai with guns a girl. also just a funny idea: you know that "put eyelashes on it to make it obvious that its a girl" thing? yeah. painter doing that.

^ TELL ME SHE WOULDNT.

i would apologize for the essay but you did say i was legally required to share so this is your fault /lh

anyways i hope you enjoyed the women

If you see this post you’re legally required to tell me at least one trans woman headcanons you have for a canonically male character, I never get to see transfem headcanons like that, give me them, and for equality of my own please know estrogen could have saved Insector Haga and Dinosaur Ryuzaki I will not elaborate, also Yuya.

[filmbyjy]

can i req bf niki and fem reader and they go on a vacation to jp + meet niki's parents?? btw luv ur works <3

a/n: to whoever that requested this. i am so sorry this took a whole year to even get around to writing this😭 also my photoshopping skills on this banner🤌🏻 but anyways, this isn’t entirely a holiday with ni-ki as i am basing it off what happened when ni-ki went back to his hometown to perform. this is just assuming what happened, obviously fictional so it isn’t real. just imagine people!

BACK HOME

pairing: nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre: fluff; idol!ni-ki + relationship au

warnings: nope

word count: 2.4K words

it’s been years since ni-ki got to come back home to japan. years without his parents, his family. he had to grow up quick at 14. flying in a plane to an unknown territory. just to train for a 8 months and join a survival show. ni-ki was terrified, confused and quite honestly homesick. yet, after actually winning a spot and debuting. nothing could prepare himself to confess to you.

you had met ni-ki at a small secluded ice cream shop. it was a normal ice cream parlour, there were a few people that came and go. nothing could fully prepare you to come face to face with a masked man.

“hi, what flavour would you like? oh and would you like a single scoop or double?” you say the usual line. ni-ki looks up at you to order, in his head, his jaw drops cartoonishly. you were beautiful. he clears his throat, he probably had been standing there for quite a bit.

“can i get two single scoops? one mint choco and the other being cookies and cream.” he says.

“okay. one second.” you had scooped up the ice cream and placed it into the respective cups. “any toppings?”

“oh umm, maybe some…” his eyes scanned the toppings. which he couldn’t really focus on since your gaze was flustering him a lot. “sprinkles?” he says with a slight confusion in his voice.

you giggled a little, “sprinkles it is. on both ice cream?”

“yeah.” you had topped the ice cream with sprinkles and went to type in the order into the register.

“total will be $3.”

“oh? for two?”

“yeah. our prices are the lowest of the lowest here.” you say.

“woah. i should come back here all the time.” he says. he catches himself and he felt his face heat up. “sorry.”

“don’t be. it would be great if you could come back here everyday. maybe even bring your friends?”

“I think I could do that.” ni-ki smiles behind the mask.

and so he did. he came over to see you everyday and even bought ice cream every single time. was he getting sick and tired of ice cream? yes, but he would be able to see you everyday.

"so how was practice? is it fun?" you asked him curiously. he shook his head.

"just tiring. sometimes it's fun but since comeback is around the corner. practice has just been something I wished never came."

you had frowned at his words, "that doesn’t sound too fun. being an idol doesn’t seem as fun as i thought it would be.” ni-ki chuckles.

“it’s fun at times but you definitely need to have a lot of discipline to really become one. discipline and patience.” you hummed at his words.

“well, i don’t think i could become an idol. the girls? urgh too pretty. kinda jealous of them but i’m mainly just in awe by them.”

“you’re pretty too.” ni-ki says. you felt flustered.

“oh, thank you. i’m not all that pretty. you’ve probably come across a prettier girl than me.”

ni-ki does that unthinkable and he softly reaches your hands. “you’re pretty. really pretty. prettier than any of the girls i’ve seen.” your heart races at his words. in some way, you knew this was a confession since you knew that ni-ki was being obvious about having a crush on you. he didn’t bother hiding it because he didn’t find a reason to. besides, nobody besides you knew it was him. this was his little secret.

“is this your way of confessing to me?” you teased him. he laughs.

“and if it is, will you say yes?”

you smiled, “of course.” he squeezes your hand lightly.

“then from today onwards, you’re my girl.” he declares. you laughed.

“yours.”

a year passes by quickly. ni-ki had a concert in okayama. his hometown. there was a small period of break after their concert so ni-ki decided to invite to travel with them. he helps you place your luggage into the compartment above. you smiled. jake nudges ni-ki’s waist to tease him.

“ayyy, who knew our maknae can be so gentleman like.” jake smirks.

“at least i have a girlfriend.” ni-ki argues back. he pulls you closer to him and pecked the side of your head proudly. it was almost funny when jake's smile fell quickly and he looked like a sad puppy.

with that, ni-ki pulls you to your assigned seat (which was next to him). he kisses your knuckles and makes sure you were alright throughout the entire flight. since you’ve never really flown on a plane before, you were terrified but ni-ki assures you constantly. the both of you shared an earpiece and watched movies throughout the flight. when he looks around, all the boys were asleep so he takes his chance to peck your forehead. you stared right at him and he leans to peck your lips. before you could utter a word, ni-ki pulls you into a sweet kiss. one that showcased how much he loved you and you can’t help but feel your heart race quickly.

there was a short bright flash and so you and ni-ki pulled away. ni-ki turns back to see jungwon and sunghoon with their phones out taking a picture of you and ni-ki kissing.

“whoops.” jungwon says. “you two were too cute. we had to take a picture.”

“send me the picture later on.” ni-ki says. jungwon salutes and settles back at his seat continuing to watch the show he had accidentally dozed off on.

[1 hour passes by]

finally, everyone arrived at okayama. everyone goes to grab their bags from the compartment above once the plane lands and parks. you had to unfortunately be separated from the boys for a bit as your they were going get pictures taken by the paparazzis. one of their managers followed you and brought you towards another gate. there was a small group of people holding up a sign in japanese. it had ni-ki’s face plastered on it. you recognised ni-ki’s siblings and so you assumed that was his mom and dad next to them. they were waiting excitedly for ni-ki or were they waiting for you.

the manager approaches them and explains to them in japanese before turning to look at you. “this is ni-ki’s family, they will be accommodating you for the whole time we are here as you know it can be risky if you stayed with the boys.”

you nod. “thank you, manager jin. you don’t have to worry about me conversing with them. i learnt japanese for quite a while now so i think i can do well with chatting with them.”

“alright, i’ll leave you guys. i have to get back to the boys.” the manager leaves quickly. you turned to the ni-ki’s family and bowed.

“umm, hi. i am (name), ni-ki’s girlfriend.” you told them in japanese. ni-ki’s younger sister runs up to you and hugs you.

“you’re so pretty! ni ni really picked a good girl!” you blushed at his younger sister’s words. his older sister comes up to you and pats your back.

“let’s bring you back to our home so you can rest. taking a flight can be draining.” she says. ni-ki’s mom smiles.

“oh yes, dear. we should get back. you need to rest and also eat! let me make some food for you when get back home.”

once you had arrived at the nishimura household, ni-ki decides to facetime you. his face pops up on your screen.

“hi pretty.” ni-ki smiles.

you giddily smiled at him. “hi.”

“I wish you were here with me. kinda sucks we have to be separated.” he huffs and whines a little. you almost giggle at his cute act. surely, his fans would want to see more of this of him. alas, you could only witness this side of him and even bring it out.

“well, I’m not unfamiliar. I’m in your childhood home. which by the way, your mom has tons of albums of ENHYPEN here. your bedroom feels like a relic, it should be kept in a museum.”

“oh, my mom let you stay in my bedroom?” he tilts his head. you nod.

“yeah. oh and bisco is here too! i think your mom mentioned that he runs in here time to time because he misses you.”

“I’m going to cry that’s so cute.” ni-ki lays his head down on the pillow. “I’m so tired.”

“get some much needed rest, you have a concert tomorrow.” he hums at your words.

“I should visit home after the concert and eat there.”

“i think your mom is hoping for that. oh, maybe the boys can come over too?”

“I don’t think there would be enough space in my parents’ home, baby.” ni-ki chuckles a little.

"well, i'm just saying. i'm sure your parents would like to thank the people for taking care of their baby boy." ni-ki snorts.

"alright, i can't argue with you on that. oh, has bisco warmed up to you yet?" he asks. you panned the camera down to bisco wagging his tail and laying right next to you. ni-ki smiles widely.

"my girls."

"bisco is a boy."

"eh? but- right, boy." he clears his throat. "been a while since i've seen him. i think i forgot his gender."

"it's your family dog."

"it's not exactly my dog. it's my parents." ni-ki explains. you laughed.

"okay okay. it's seriously late and you need to sleep your jet lag off. go eat dinner then sleep."

"yes, ma'am." he salutes at you. you playfully rolled your eyes at him. he blows a kiss to the camera and you do the same before ending the facetime.

a knock at ni-ki's childhood bedroom makes you yelp, you looked up at who knocked on the door and it was konon. she smiles and points to the kitchen.

"my mom made some dinner for you before we left. she just heat it up, you should eat up and then go to sleep."

"oh, thank you." you say and konon leaves. you had gone to eat outside, bisco quietly follows you around as you had settled on the couch to eat. he lays his head comfortably on your lap. which was a little surprising considering you weren't someone bisco was familiar with.

after finishing up with dinner, you had cleaned up the plate and gone to sleep. once again, bisco had followed you into ni-ki's childhood room.

the next day, you and ni-ki's family were going over to the stadium. you'd think that you were just going to simply watch the concert but no. right before the concert, just hours before, you were brought backstage. ni-ki hugs you tightly.

"hi baby." he whispers in your ears. you smiled and wrapped your arms around his shoulder.

"hi." you replied. there was a furball following you around. stopping right at your ankles. "oh, bisco." you had picked him up. he doesn't exactly remember ni-ki since after all it's been years and ni-ki was different now then how he was back then at 14.

bisco looks up at ni-ki then looks away. ni-ki pouts and lets bisco smell his hand. maybe he would remember in a way. unfortunately, not at all. "maybe give him some time?" you say. ni-ki sighs.

"yeah, i know. this little furball is such a shit head. love him though." he ruffles the tiny dog before going over to his parents and hugging the both of them.

as time passes, the boys had to start their concert and so you and ni-ki's family had moved over to the designated seats that you guys were generously given. everyone around you (the engenes) were excitedly and patiently waiting for the concert to start. the lights dimmed and the concert starts.

there was a 7 clear silhouettes seen in the dark and everyone starts yelling. the song starts playing and that is truly when the chaos ensues. you were a little shocked by the yelling and screaming since you've never exactly seen this happen all the time. as time passes by, the boys were starting to wind down. they were talking about how fun they had.

"engenes!! thank you for enjoying today's concert. we will be sure to back next year for another concert here in okayama." jungwon says.

ni-ki picks up his mic, "engenes, i'm really thankful for every one of you for making my dream come true. i get to perform in my hometown and in front of my parents. there is something i have to confess though."

the stadium gets a little silent as ni-ki prepares what to say. "this may be controversial to say as an idol in a boy group. many of you might hate me. that is fine. you can't hate on enhypen. i-" he takes a deep breath in. "i have someone that i truly love. she's here and she's watching me perform in front of everyone that i love and care about. it would be great if you could also show her some love. she deserves the world. she managed to bring out the stronger version of myself today."

everyone was cheering. the boys weren't expecting for ni-ki to have revealed his relationship but they were still proud of him. he stood up for himself. they also knew this would impact the way k-pop was in a way. the culture and mindset behind dating.

"thank you engenes, i love you." he shyly showed a heart to the crowd.

after the concert ends, ni-ki's family and you had gone backstage again. you had ran up to ni-ki despite him still sweaty after the concert. he accepts your hug and held you tight.

"you've cause quite the stir, riki." you say as your voice was muffled due to his clothes. he laughs.

"i know but i had to let everyone know i'm madly in love with you." he says. you felt him peck the top of your head.

"what if they bullied you out of the group? you know how they are now with dating scandals." you asked him.

"don't worry, if the company doesn't do anything. i will. i'll kick whatever they send to HYBE and then throw it in the trash."

you laughed a little. "you're so adorable."

"not as adorable as you." he tilts your chin up and little and leans down to peck your lips. "i love you."

"i love you too."

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo @http-gyu @simpforniki @vatterie @victoriazynui @myu3ki @jhopesucker @dimplewonie @chwlogy @ilovewonyo @xiaoderrrr @uwuheeseungie @miercerise @liikno @hxney-luga @tiktaktiki @ajayke-reads @yizhoutv @s00buwu @ilovehanni1 @starrpt2 @mystarryseas @moonliaworld @in-somnias-world @luvyev @engeneeee-168 @babyy-bambii @kimipxl @namau @gxwesn

[love-byers]

(same anon that previously sent an ask about the monologue, because writing all this just got me thinking)

Another thing to take note of is that Mike only talks in the past/present tense, but never in the future tense. He says "I've loved you every day since" but never "and I'm going to love you every day for the rest of my life". He's clinging to the past, he's refusing change. There's a line after where he says "And I’m not ready to lose you -- you hear me??". It's just so clear to me. Once he's ready, he can finally grow and allow new and better things to come into his life, and truly come of age. That's the kind of ending I believe is right for the show and those characters in a more general sense anyway.

OMG IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THE PAST/PRESENT TENSE STUFF THATS SO TRUE

i've always thought that it seemed like both mike and el were clinging to the past. it starts in the s3 epilogue when el says i love you too. its supposed to be taking the next big step in their relationship, maturing and changing. but mike realizes he doesn't want that, he doesn't want things to change. he doesn't want to get more serious with el. he yearns for the past when he was closer with will and didn't have the pressure of growing up and committing to el. and of course the idea of that scares him bc it makes him question the nature of he and will's relationship.

"And I guess...if I'm being really honest...I don't want things to change. So I think maybe that's why I came in here. To try to maybe...stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were."

i've analyzed the living hell out of this in a byler way, because it is undoubtedly coded towards byler, but i think there is a bit of mileven here too based on what happens in s4. here's some quotes/moments that made me think mike and el were clinging to the past because they know they have no foundation of a future.

"Bitchin' right?" "Yeah, yeah, bitchin'. Do you come here a lot?" mike is so dismissive of her here it's kind of funny

then there's mike bringing her eggos before their fight. he's trying to make peace with a staple from their past, but it doesn't work, because that's not what makes a relationship strong.

"You can't let those mouth breathers ruin you, ruin us." again a reference to a joke/phrase from their past. something they share, or should share. mike feels like saying that will draw them back together. but it fails

"They're nobodies. And you're a superhero." "Not anymore." i feel like this one speaks for itself lol

and the fact that the song playing over their fight is called "Eulogy", a track that plays during scenes referencing dead characters (barb, bob, el (before mike knew she was alive), billy) and metaphorical deaths, like el moving into the cabin with hopper. "This is your new home." it's representing the death of el's old life in the lab, and finding new beginnings. their fight was the death of their relationship, and even mike knows it. a fight you can't come back from.

[itsrlymine]

girl, last year Ive been trying so hard to manifest my ex (my crush back then) but you know what I realized? I can have anything. like literally, I was listening to a subliminal to make him obsessed and stopped it mid way because you know what? I already have him wrapped around my finger. And guess what? right after that thought, I forgot Abt him and now I find him reposting about me and asking our mutual friend to make me unblock him. It's just that easy, YOU have the final decision, once you decide that everything plays out just like you want, nobody and nothing can stop you.

OOP!!!!! I LOVE THIS OMG!!!!! Heavy on i can have anything bc what the other reason am i here for????! I love that you realized you already had him anyways bc ofc you do!!!! it is just that easy and you are the deciding factor, not anything else!!!! i love you so much and i love this success for you!

[penumbra-mayhem]

ehehehehehehe >:)

#btw i know i can just skip past the stuttering but i always love to take my time with it and read through every stutter #idk i just think it adds so much character to them

^^^^ omg omg omg thank u so much for saying/doing this, now i'm gonna talk a lot lol:

I put a lot of thought into Darlin's stutter.

In my fics, you can tell where we are in the timeline based on how Darlin' talks and how much they talk. If they have no stutter, it's before Quinn attacks their friend. If they stutter but they barely talk at all (mostly just single words) it's before they meet Sam. As they grow closer with Sam, they begin talking more. So earlier on in their relationship, they talk less than they do like in this fic, which is pretty much the present moment.

There are particular words, letters, and sounds that Darlin' stutters more on. They tend to repeat the words 'I', 'it', and 'at' (ex. I-I, it-it). The letters/sounds T, W, P, M, B, L, and N tend to be what catch Darlin's stutter more, but they still sometimes stutter on other letters/sounds, especially when their emotions are heightened.

When they are relaxed/calm/unemotionally affected, their stutter is less pronounced. They still stutter but instead of 'wwwwwhy n-n-n-n-not?', it'll be more like 'wwhy n-not?'. When they are feeling any strong emotions (especially negative, but it can also be positive), they stutter more. They feel big emotions a lot of the time, though, so this doesn't even really feel relevant lol.

I also try to write variance into their stuttering, just like there is variance in stutters in real life. So for Darlin', usually letters like 'w' and 'm' are going to be elongated like 'wwwwwoah' and 'mmmmine'. Whereas letters like 't' and 'p' are going to have a more staccato sound, like 't-t-t-to' and 'p-p-p-please'.

(There is also another variation in stuttering where there is a pause/silence before the person says a sound/word, but I can't figure out how to write that other than using ellipses. However, using '...' to me tends to read more as hesitance or an intentional slowing or pausing of speech, so I'm still working on how to add that kind of stuttering into my writing and Darlin's speech pattern.)

anyway, thank u for reading my fic and commenting!! <3 sorry this is so much information but i really like talking about my writing and how i write and nobody asked for this but here us go :D

The Answer - Sam/Darlin’ fic

Darlin’ gives Sam their answer on whether or not they want to be a vampire.

(I hc Darlin’ with a stutter, more on that here)

—————————————————

Sam had woken in the late evening, bed empty next to him from when Darlin’ had left for a gig hours before. Having no work that night, he carried through his “morning” routine in languor, record playing, windows open, coffee brewing.

He filled the time waiting for Darlin’s return researching new places to live. The new position Gabriela had offered him paid well, but certainly less than he made now. Once he officially left the Solaire House, they’d have to downsize considerably and possibly (he shuddered at the thought) move closer to the city.

Just after 1 am, Sam heard the rumble of Darlin’s bike as they pulled up to the house. Rising from his desk, he headed to the front door to greet them. They beat him to it, rushing inside as they yanked their gloves from their hands and shucked their jacket off.

��Hey,” Sam started, his voice quickly dying in his throat, “How was…work…”

Darlin’ was fumbling with the strap of their helmet, a weak whine leaking from their throat as they struggled. Sam closed the distance between them and grasped their hands, drawing them away from the strap and replacing them with his own.

He unclasped it and slid the helmet off, taking care to not catch it on any of their piercings, before placing it on the coat rack.

Sam could feel Darlin’s core whirring. “Rough gig?” he asked, wincing when Darlin’ actively avoided his gaze.

They gave a half-shrug, their voice feeble, “Something l-l-l-like tha-that.”

Then they were retreating towards the door, muttering before Sam could speak, “I-I-I’m going for-for a run.”

—————————————————

The next few hours were…tense. Sam tried to keep up the house hunt, but found himself staring at an empty search bar until his eyes were strained and his head was buzzing.

He finished his coffee, refilled his mug, then downed it again. He cranked the volume up on his record player and kept the front door open so he could hear the music from the porch.

Nothing could calm his nerves. Not the music. Not the crickets and frogs. Not even the coffee. He sat on the top porch step, resigned to wait for Darlin’, unable to focus on anything else until he knew they were okay.

—————————————————

Sam could smell them before he could see them; the wind carried their sharp, smoky scent through the trees. That alone helped to ease his anxiety a bit.

Soon after, Darlin’ stalked out of the surrounding forest, still in their shifted form. Tongue hanging from their open jaw, their breath came out in heavy pants as they made their way to the house.

He said nothing as they approached. Instead, he placed his mug down beside him and scanned their body from afar for any injuries they might have sustained on their run.

Claws clicked against wood as Darlin’ climbed the porch steps and heaved their head onto Sam’s lap. His hands untangled the wind from their fur with delicate fingers and careful strokes; the two stayed that way for a long time before Darlin’ shifted back.

They kept their head in Sam’s lap. They didn’t move at all.

Sam was about to break the silence when they finally found their voice.

“I-I can’t d-do it-it.”

Sam’s hands only halted in their hair for a moment before continuing. After they didn’t elaborate, he asked, “Do what?”

Darlin’ didn’t respond. Tracing his fingertips down their left arm, he brought their clenched fist to his lips before asking again, “Darlin’, what can’t you do?”

Darlin’ slowly pulled their hand out of Sam’s grasp, then raised their head from his lap. Making themself into a ball on the step, they continued to avoid Sam’s gaze, looking down at the steps before them instead. They took a trembling breath.

Then it came out, all at once, their voice thick with guilt:

“I-I’ve b-b-b-been thinking since y-you asked mmmme—and-and then t-t-t-today sssomeone mmmade a-a joke at-at wwwork about mmme t-turning. They d-didn’t even knnnnow you asked b-but it-it just…I…I-I can’t t-t-turn. I’m sorry.”

Sam’s stomach turned.

“It’s nnnot b-b-because I-I don’t wwwant t-to b-be wwwwith you. I-I p-p-promise. I’ve just wwworked so-so hard to get wwwwwhere I-I am wwwith the p-pack and wwwith mmmy own wwwwolf, and I-I don’t wwwant to l-lose that—b-but I-I don’t wwwant to l-lose you either…I-I’m ssso sorry.”

There it was again, that apology. It made Sam’s stomach sour.

Darlin’ looked scared shitless. They stayed completely still as Sam scooted closer to them and wrapped his arms around their tightened frame. Even when he pulled them into his chest, even when he kissed the top of their head and ran his fingers through their hair, they didn’t move. All their movement was centered in their chest, their heart a flurry of palpitations.

“You have nothin’ to apologize for, love. Absolutely nothin’,” he promised, kissing their head once again, “I’m so glad you told me. I’m so…” He took a moment to steady himself as the tears pooling in his eyes threatened to crack his voice. “I’m so proud of you.”

Darlin’ pulled back in confusion, asking, “P-Proud?” They blanched at the sight of Sam’s glassy eyes. “Y-You’re crying.”

“Happy tears, darlin’,” he assured them as said tears began to slide down his cheeks. Despite the fear and uncertainty of how Sam really felt lodged in their chest, Darlin’ couldn’t help but reach out to brush the tears away. Sam leaned into their touch instinctively, pressing his cheek and then his lips into their palm.

“I’m proud that you told me,” he explained, his voice muffled by their hand. As he moved closer, they dropped their hand. Sam let them, holding their gaze whenever their flitting eyes met his.

“I know that must have been scary—terrifyin’, really, if it felt anythin’ like it did for me when I asked you about turnin’. So yes, I’m proud that you told me.”

He grasped Darlin’s hands. As more tears appeared, their paths were pulled into the lines of his beaming smile. “I’m proud that you made the choice you wanted, not what you thought I wanted. And I’m so happy you get to make that choice. That you get to decide whether you turn or not. That’s why I asked in the first place. To let you know that it was your decision. No one else’s.”

“You’re nnnot disap-p-pointed?”

Sam pulled them into his arms once more, kissing their lips before answering, “Never. I’m not disappointed. I don’t feel betrayed. There is only pride and love in my heart for you.”

“I-I’m gonna grow old,” they admitted, their arms tight around his torso.

“Yes. And what a beautiful thing.”

“…b-but you wwwon’t.”

Sam frowned. “Maybe not physically. But in spirit? In the ways that matter? We’ll grow old together.”

Darlin’ kissed his shoulder before pulling their head back and meeting Sam’s gaze, a delicate smile on their lips.

“I-I’d l-l-like that.”

[lupe-jess]

well. that was definitely an episode..

my thoughts on the episode/show overall for now:

hong jo and shin yu were so fucking cute this episode it almost killed me

i'm glad they're not having a baby yet but shin yu's parents having a baby instead.. why the fuck. she was gonna divorce that asshole 😭😭 one drunk sorry does not make up for years of (verbal) abuse

also also shin yu why the fuck would u tell your parents about the 'baby' without telling hong jo first??? that was not cute at all

i did not understand ms ma like she was dead set against marriage and the next scene they're getting married.. do the women in this show not get a say in anything or.. hello writers???

i'm glad hong jo and shin yu got their happy ending but sad we barely got any answers

anyway the show overall: solid idea but the execution needs some work lmao i loved the romcom stuff and all the silliness. the curse/red hand was well done and i loved that it turned out to be hong jo's hand (kudo's to everyone who figured that out only a few episodes in)

i loved how hong jo stood her ground, against that creep and na yeon. i'm so proud of her and she really has grown stronger since the start of the show. hong jo ily forever <3

speaking of that creep: i hate to say it but he was a great villian he really creeped me out

overall a fun show to watch, i'm gonna do a rewatch soon (soon = probably tomorrow lmao i already miss them)

this was the first time i've seen jo bo ah and rowoon in anything and they were both amazing, their chemistry 🔥🔥🔥🔥 sometimes i'd almost forget they were acting. i'm definitely gonna check out more of their stuff (please send me recommendations)

[surreal-duck]

live drama adaptations (1/?)

(next)

[articskele]

“...Wrong? Why would anything go wrong?”

Without further ado, a stimboard for @ask-the-biggering-onceler!

x|x|x x|x|x x|x|x

[tzufcallsmeshomps]

Why did it take my landlords' young kid pulling a prank on me to realize I do in fact have unprocessed ptsd

[yjwhatif]

Okay, my imagination has officially run away with me… so, after this post, I really had the urge to watch Hercules and now I actually have that Ed/Bart Hercules AU (that nobody asked for) forming in my head…

One where Bart is Hercules with super speed and Ed is Meg - already jaded by life and under the control of Lex as hades - who owns his soul and his powers. the league are the gods of Olympus and the Light fills the ranks of the underworld, Jay and Joan are the couple who raise Bart, the muses are made up of the OG team girlies - M’gann, Zatanna, Raquel and Artemis but Cassie is also one as well… then I think Wally is Phil… and Jaime would fit into the Pegasus role… and that’s all I got as of yet for the roles…

With whatever deal Ed originally makes to Lex - I haven’t figured out if it’s a similar saving a past love situation, like Meg, or maybe something involving his dad or even just trying to help a stranger who he thought was in need - he loses his powers and must do Luthor's bidding, which is what gets him stuck in the bind with whoever he’s meeting for the businessman, that Bart determines as an ‘I need to save this person’ situation. Lex then gives him the power back so Ed can get close to Bart and figure out his weakness. The power is then stripped away from Ed in front of Bart in order to convince him to sign away his own powers - which he does. Then, now being free, they’re finally fully back for the big Meg saves Hercules moment… this version would consist of Bart, having signed away his speed, not being fast enough to notice the big heavy object that’s about to squash him, and Ed, with his powers back, teleporting in to push Bart out of the way and ultimately taking the fatal hit which then breaks lex’s deal and gives Bart his powers back. Bart saves the league but isn’t fast enough to get back to Ed before he succumbs to his injuries… leading into the finale that I haven’t figured out yet…

and that’s all I got.

LB :)

[b4kuch1n]

pre-holiday leave crumbs

[cinnamonanddean]

.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

the internet: yeah to practise harm reduction you go for areas that have more flesh to avoid going too deep and needing medical attention

me, an idiot: let's pick this spot anyway, how bad can it be. ...how did i get that deep that quickly

[radgeorgie]

I hatey life i aute my life i aye my life!!!!! what's the point of staying alive if the only person who wants you to is dead!!!!!! pect behind a widow and son!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so fucking stupid

[riddlerosehearts]

figured out how to edit the game files and combine some mods so i could try out different things with gale's earring because i have a lot of thoughts... also gale's earring should really be positioned lower but i'm having an issue with one of the mods, oh well

[ioannemos]

yay what are your favourite lyrics from your #1 most played song? and numbers 8, 16, 82 and 100?

1: blood in the cut, k.flay

guess i'm contagious, it'd be safest if you ran

fk, that's what they all just end up doing in the end

take my car and paint it black

take my arm, break it in half

say something, do it soon

it's too quiet in this room

8: love is beginning, imaginary future

oh, look how colors are changing

new stars appear in the night sky

this heart is starting to come to life

16: nobody else will be there, the national

hey baby, where were you back then

when i needed your help

i thought that if i stuck my neck out

i'd get you out of your shell

my faith is sick and my skin is thin as ever

i need you alone

goodbyes always take us half an hour

can't we just go home

82: send me on my way, guy meets girl

i would like to reach out my hand

i may see you

i may tell you to run

know what they say about the young

100: broken, jonah kagen

i'm begging you to come and pull me out the fire

come and save me like you did when we were young

oh please, come bring me up from my lowest, take me higher

can you see me through the ashes and the smoke