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I still don´t get what they thought they would achieve with Brad but it seems to never have crossed their minds that people would actually NOT care for the character. It is wild how much screentime he got, in a mid-season finale no less, and this public ass kissing of cast and the official account after he left is so weird. Nobody piled hate on the character or the actor they just were not interested, so why the need for this outpouring of support all of the sudden?
When the next character making eyes at either Buck or Eddie comes around and this lot decides to stay silent again we will all have our answer without a shadow of a doubt. That they hang the LI out to dry because they are scared shitless of Buddie backlash, but will jump into action for the next bit part player who just wasn´t as popular as they thought he would be.
I really started to dislike them, not gonna lie. I like Tommy, I like bucktommy but I will cheer on who ever comes next for Buck or Eddie just out of spite now. Because whoever plays them will be treated like shit by the fandom and will get no help from the mean girls clique that is the 911 production
Hi, Nonnie! Thanks for the ask. I see what you're saying, and overall I have to agree.
Here is my take. I try to play devil's advocate and give grace as much as possible. But earlier today I went on Twitter, and I saw a hate tweet (disclaimer: I've blocked hundreds of BD accounts by now, and I have blocked many, many words to not find a new one, but a BT account I follow had quoted it, so I saw it). In it, they were essentially laughing and having a party at the goodbye comments Callum had received, because that 'confirms' for them that the cast hates Lou. That they knew before, but now it's confirmed.
And the thing is... I've said it before, Lou is not a defenseless little boy. He's a grown man that, in my opinion, has a great head on his shoulders and knows very well what he's doing. And he's a busy man. So I honestly don't think he gives two craps about some losers on Twitter claiming his co-workers hate him - he knows better (he knows what happened), and he's the one with a career in acting and loving fans, so. Does he deserve the harassment? Hell, no. But I don't think he cares if some loser claims the cast hates him.
However. This behavior is only enabling hate. Not addressing the hate the LIs go through and the harassment the actors receive isn't just 'ignoring the hate so it goes away'. Ignoring that behavior and then showing support for other guest stars tells the deranged fans that they are good to go. That their bullying and hate is allowed, justified.
Is that the truth? Well, no. But it is what has happened. Because all the people being this hateful and sending harassment or death threats fully believe the show has their backs because nothing has told them otherwise.
Is it the intention of the show? No.
Is it still what they're accomplishing by their lack of response? Yes.
I don't overall dislike the cast as people because I don't know them. But the representation of themselves they're giving right now,? Not exactly a fan of that.
Also, as for Brad... I just have to laugh. They fully thought the Facebook moms would fall deep in love with him, and didn't take into account their hearts were already taken by Tommy, and that they'd be heartbroken enough for Tommy to not care for a character that doesn't have nearly the same charisma or depth.
Anyway. Thanks for letting me rant, lmao.
My inbox is always open for venting, ranting, and to discuss any topics <3
Take care!
#bucktommy#tevan#911 abc#911 critical#anti buddie#not really but i don't want them here#lou ferrigno jr#911 cast#anon ❣️
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off the court
paige bueckers x azzi fudd
themes: jealousy, angst, pining
word count: 3.1k
tw: alcohol use, swearing
a/n: hii my lovely’s! i honestly dk how i feel about this chapter, but i hope u guys enjoy it regardless. also please ignore the shift from past to present tense 😭 i realized i fucked it up like mid way thru but oh well! the movies i mentioned are also so good GO WATCH EM. and if u cant tell i love blushing i find it so cutesy. ALSO ONE SHOT IDEAS PLEASEEEEE. anyway, enjoy and hope y’all have a good week!
CHAPTER THREE
paige has a problem. it wasn’t that her aim was off, causing her to miss shot after shot. it wasn’t that her coach was yelling at her to get her head in the game. no, it wasn’t any of that. it was the fact paige couldn’t stop thinking about the curly brunette, even if her life depended on it.
ever since practice a few days ago, when azzi’s body was flush against hers, azzi had owned paige’s mind. and since her head is elsewhere, she failed to focus on everything else, especially basketball.
“what’s wrong with you?” nika asks paige, confused as to why her game was off, which is extremely rare for her.
without basketball, paige had nothing. basketball gave paige life, ever since a young age. even after trying other sports, her heart was always set on basketball. so when paige’s game had been acting up, it made her teammates, as well as coaches, confused.
paige glances at nika, “what? nothing.”
nika gave paige a don’t bullshit me look, “paige, cmon. you’ve been missing shots all day. something’s gotta be up.”
paige didn’t, wouldn’t tell nika about paige’s tiny issue. “i don’t know. bad day, i guess.”
“well get your shit together. we need you for tomorrow’s game.”
paige looks over at azzi, who was on the opposite side of the gym with caroline, “don’t worry, i will.”
later that night, paige was already laying in bed when her phone buzzes. it was a text from aubrey, asking the team group chat if anyone wanted to hang.
dorka, paige’s roommate, was already quietly sleeping on the opposite side of the room. paige looks at the time, 9:41 pm; she figured hanging out with her friends wasn’t the worst idea.
paige soon arrives at aubrey’s dorm. she opens the door to find a variety of her teammates; nika was seated on aubrey’s bed along with aubrey, lou was on the floor, while azzi and caroline were on jana’s bed, who wasn’t present.
fuck. of course azzi would show up, despite it being late at night. it was as if azzi somehow knew paige had been thinking about her- appearing just to torment her.
the two met eyes, paige held eye contact a tad longer than she normally would. heat creeped up azzi’s neck.
since there wasn’t much room on either beds, paige slumps against the bed azzi was sitting on.
“so what were y’all doing before i came in?” paige questions her teammates.
“trying to decide on a movie, but nobody is agreeing,” nika replies, annoyance in her voice.
“i say we watch she’s the man, but everyone here doesn’t have good taste, so nobody agrees with me,” aubrey says, rolling her eyes.
paige turns her head up to azzi, “what was your suggestion?”
azzi was caught off guard by paige’s question, “uh, i said about time.”
“oh my god, i love that movie. i agree with azzi,” paige announces.
azzi was shocked, to say the least. she never imagined a world where paige would agree with her.
they settle on about time. nika grabbed a few snacks and passed them around, while lou brought a few drinks in from the tiny kitchen.
a couple minutes into the film, paige grew uncomfortable with her spot on the ground. azzi noticed it by the constant shifting she had been doing. azzi reaches down to tap paige’s shoulder.
“you can come up here if you’re uncomfortable,” azzi whispers so the others wouldn’t be disturbed, while softly patting the spot next to her on the bed.
paige notices that her and carol had already shifted down, making room for paige. her lips curled into a small smile.
without a second thought, paige lifts from the floor and gently sets herself next to azzi, thighs nearly touching.
“thanks,” paige whispers. azzi simply nodded her head.
throughout the movie, paige’s thigh would occasionally graze azzi’s, sending butterflies to her stomach. there was a spark between the two, surely azzi felt it too.
caroline passes a bag of popcorn over to azzi, who instantly begins consuming it.
“can i have some?” paige questions lightly so she didn’t cause distractions for the others.
“of course,” azzi smiles, placing the popcorn in the middle of them.
their hands would graze while both going for the popcorn, paige let her touch linger longer than she should. she knew better. but her secret azzi fudd obsession got the better of her.
“sorry,” paige mutters, pulling her hand away after embarrassment covered her features.
“i don’t mind,” azzi looks at paige, a soft expression on her face.
paige had always been beautiful to azzi, but in this lighting, in aubrey’s small dorm, sitting on the same bed, mere inches apart, paige looked unreal. her blonde hair was the perfect kind of messy, lips were light pink, eyes so blue that they were practically transparent. paige’s cheeks flush at azzi’s eyes solely focused on her.
“okay guys! i’m exhausted, i’ll see y’all tomorrow,” nika jumps up from her spot, causing heads to look over at her.
paige and azzi took their attention away from each other, despite it being the hardest thing paige had to do.
“yeah, i should go too,” azzi agrees, beginning to move off the bed.
“same,” paige says, also moving from her spot.
the three say their goodbyes before leaving out aubrey’s dorm door. during the short walk down the hallway, the girls discuss their excitement for the first game of the season. they came to the end of the hall, where they could go either left, right, or continue straight. nika headed straight, off to her room. paige was going left, while azzi was going right. but both didn’t make any hints to move yet.
paige leans against the wall, azzi mimics her by doing the same on the opposite wall. a small smile crept onto her lips.
“you ready for tomorrow’s game?” paige questions the younger girl.
“beyond ready,” azzi’s smile only grows. she’s been waiting for this moment since before she could remember; her very first game in college basketball.
“you better be. i’m definitely gonna need you,” paige says without thinking. her eyes widen at her use of i’m. “we, i mean.”
azzi’s cheeks redden at paige’s comment about her needing azzi. not the team- her, accident or not.
“are you ready? you seemed kinda distracted at practice,” azzi brings up.
“i’m fine,” paige says harsher than she meant.
not wanting to deal with paige’s attitude, azzi sighs, “alright. see you tomorrow.”
paige desperately wanted azzi to stay with her. she wanted to grab her by the hand and pull her close; but she knew she couldn’t do that.
“yeah, see ya.”
the next morning, paige immediately shuts down any azzi thoughts from the previous day. she needs to focus on the game. it was the first of the season, and she eagerly wanted to make it a good one.
she brushes her teeth, washes her face, dresses herself, as dorka did the same.
“ready for this, p?” dorka smiles, excitement buzzing off her tall frame.
“always,” she matches her smile.
the two girls grab their bags and head down to the dining hall to grab some breakfast. nika, aubrey, jana, lou, carol and azzi were already seated and eating away.
paige prepares her meal before taking the spot besides jana, directly across from none other than azzi. they quickly lock eyes before looking away equally as quickly.
the team discusses plays they wanted to run in the upcoming game, all participating and giving suggestions. they soon finish eating before heading down to the gym for some smaller workouts, to get somewhat warmed up.
paige was still struggling to make her shots that she’d normally be making. when azzi notices, she casually walks over.
“can i suggest something?” azzi asks.
paige looks over at her, “hm?”
azzi strolls closer to the older girl, close enough to where paige felt her breath on
the back of her neck.
“what are you doing?” paige asks, breathlessly.
azzi places her hand on paige’s, adjusting it to where she liked. she then moves her elbow, “fixing your form.”
once azzi was done, paige shoots the ball, and is surprised to see it actually go through the basket.
“thanks, i guess,” paige grins.
the two girls continue shooting, getting their reps in when the time came to begin actual warm ups.
the game was about to begin; paige, nika, aubrey, azzi and jana were the starting 5. azzi feels an intense amount of pressure to do well, since she’s the only freshmen starting tonight.
the five girls huddle together, wide grins on their smiles, beyond ready to get this season going. paige speaks words of encouragement to her teammates as they all get into position.
uconn was up by 31 points, azzi having 19 while paige has 21.
paige runs the ball up the court, eyeing each teammate of hers. she passes the ball over to nika, who throws it over to azzi. she effortlessly makes the open 3, causing loud roars from the uconn student section.
the team was on a 9-0 run in the third quarter when paige sprints near half court and collides with a member from the other team.
azzi watches it happen and rushes over a little too quickly, for someone who claimed to hate her. azzi appears in front of the older girl, who was lying on the floor face up, and gently places her hands on her knees.
“are you okay?” azzi asks, worry laced in her tone.
paige was silent for a moment, still dazed by the impact. but when she glanced up at the brunette, a sense of calm quickly washed over her.
“yeah,” she answers, grabbing azzi’s hands that were being held out to her.
their hands held onto one another’s a moment too long. their bodies were slightly touching; neither made any movements.
it wasn’t until coach auriemma yelled at them did either of the girls make a move. paige was substituted for ashlynn to rest, and eventually, azzi was also subbed out for caroline to give other players a chance to play, as they were dominating the opposing team.
azzi settles down next to paige, the only spot open on the bench. their thighs were full on touching since the seats were so tight.
azzi rests her elbows on her knees before turning to paige, “you sure you’re okay? that fall looked like it hurt.”
paige smiles at azzi’s worry, “why? do you care or something?” she teases.
azzi’s face lit up with red, “um, no. of course not.”
paige lets out a soft chuckle before playfully pushing the brunette’s face, who who responds with a wide grin, dimples and all.
paige matches her smile with one of her own. god. she was otherworldly.
“you’re so fucking pretty,” paige mumbles, barely audible for azzi to hear, while dropping her heads, wrapping her arms under.
“sorry, what’d you say?”
“nothing,” paige replies, definitely not repeating her words.
the game ends, the teams high five one another before heading to the locker rooms.
“guys, since we played so well today, we should definitely celebrate,” jana suggests.
“what are you thinking?” nika asks, a smile tugging at her lips.
“ted’s, of course,” she laughs, “is everyone good with 7?”
each team member agree to meet at ted’s, the bar most uconn students attended, around 7. paige was buzzing at the idea of a dirty shirley temple, desperately needing one to get her mind off someone.
paige showered, applied light makeup, and picked out a comfortable but nice outfit.
around 6:55, paige leaves her apartment with dorka at her side, heading to ted’s.
the bar was absolutely packed with uconn students as well as the women’s basketball team. nika was talking to the bartender, aubrey was laughing at something jana said, while azzi was throwing back a shot.
the air seemed to shift when paige’s gaze lands on the young brunette. her heart instantly quickens as she took in her outfit. a light purple tank top that fit her in all the right places, paired with jean shorts that were doing wonders for her ass. her curls were down, slightly messy but in the most beautiful way possible.
making eye contact with paige causes azzi’s breath to hitch. heat floods her cheeks as she remembers the moments between them from earlier today.
stepping closer to the bar, paige lowers herself into an open seat, directly across from azzi who was completely surrounded by teammates. dorka took the spot next to her while lou made herself over to the two girls.
“dorka! p!” lou greets them, clearly already drunk.
“hey lou lou,” dorka smiles at her friend.
paige waves over the bartender, “can i please have a dirty shirley temple?”
the bartender nods, immediately reaching for a glass. paige was dying for a drink in her hand to take her mind off everything and everyone.
the shirley burns her throat as she took several gulps, downing nearly half the glass.
“calm down there, p,” dorka laughs at paige’s urgency to consume the drink as fast as possible.
“just thirsty,” paige replies.
after finishing her second shirley temple is when she noticed a tall man talking to azzi. her azzi. her fists clench at her sides as she throws a glare their way.
the man then lowers himself into the open seat next to her while casually shifting close, making their faces mere inches apart. azzi fidgets with her fingers, suddenly nervous from the attention.
paige presses her lips in a line to hold back her growing anger that was screaming to come out. all she wanted to do was walk over there and take what’s hers.
paige orders several more drinks, shots, whatever she could to hopefully get rid of the scene in front of her.
when a piece of azzi’s hair falls in front of her face, the man reaches out and brushes it behind her ear. his hand lingers for a moment too long, only causing paige to become more aggravated.
azzi laughs at something he said and paige decides she’s had enough. although she was completely aware she shouldn’t be doing this, she was supposed to hate azzi, she couldn’t help herself. she clutches her drink tightly in her grasp, a idea trickling in her head, and marches over there.
azzi almost instantly spots the blonde moving towards her at a rapid pace. her eyes widen when paige accidentally trips, spilling her drink all over the man.
satisfaction covered paige’s features, proud of her doing.
“jesus fucking christ!” he yelps, quickly jumping up from his position next to azzi.
“i am so sorry,” paige pretends to be genuine and concerned, even though herself and azzi knew it was complete bullshit.
the man grabs napkins, desperately trying to pat himself down, but ultimately failing. he walks away without as much as a glance back at the curly brunette, who continues to remain silent.
“did you seriously have to do that?” azzi questions paige, annoyance on her face.
“it was an accident, azzi,” paige sighs.
“sure it was,” azzi mutters as she grips her drink.
“it was,” paige replies defensively.
paige allows herself to sit where the man once was, feeling the air grow electric with the two being so close. azzi looks almost shaken by their close proximity, her eyes roaming paige’s body.
“paigey!” nika slurs, suddenly grabbing paige’s shoulders.
paige turns to her friend who was beaming, “what’s up nik?”
“oh my goodness, you totally missed it…” nika rants on and on about the hot bartender who was totally checking her out.
“i’ll be back,” nika grins as she jogs off to talk with the bartender once again.
“at least she’s getting some action,” azzi says, rolling her eyes.
“oh my god, i am so sorry i ruined the two minute conversation you had with some idiot. if you’re so interested in him, then be my guest; go find the fucker.”
“maybe i will,” azzi bites out, getting up from her spot and taking off towards the crowd.
it shocks paige that azzi actually went through with it- disappoints her, too. did she genuinely like the guy?
regretting her words, paige follows azzi’s trail, quickly catching up to the freshmen. she grabs her arm, making her twist around to face her.
“please, wait,” paige slurs in her drunken state.
“what do you want?” azzi questions, desperate to know paige’s intentions.
“you,” paige whispers, so quietly azzi can barely make it out.
“speak up, paige,” azzi replies, annoyed.
“please don’t go after him.”
azzi’s eyes crinkle, “and why not? you’re not my keeper.”
paige rests her hands on either one of azzi’s hips, uncontrollably pulling the younger girl closer.
“i know. i know,” she whispers, “just stay. stay here with me.”
azzi was taken aback from paige’s soft tone and sweet words. it was unlike paige to be like this to azzi, so azzi pieced together she must be drunk out of her mind.
“you’re drunk, paige,” azzi says.
“i’m sober enough,” paige’s lips turn up as she moves her hands to azzi’s face.
with her face in her hands, paige rests her forehead against the curly brunette’s, while her gaze drops down to her full, pink lips.
“what are you doing, paige?”
paige closes her eyes, not wanting to think about everything wrong with what she was doing and how it’d be like tomorrow.
“i don’t know. fuck, i don’t know. i just want to be close to you,” she whispers.
azzi gently places her hands on paige’s waist, pulling the older girl impossibly closer.
“fuck, az,” paige mutters, “i can’t stop thinking about you.”
paige was all azzi could hear, despite the loud crowd and blasting music around her. and her words meant everything.
“no matter how hard i try, you’re always there. you with your perfect curls and cute ass dimples,” paige smiles, twisting with a singular curl with her finger.
“oh yeah?” azzi matches the grin.
“yeah,” paige says, gaze focused on her lips.
right as paige leans in, azzi suddenly jerks back, her eyes wide with panic.
“p- paige, no. you’re drunk. you’ll regret it tomorrow,” she stutters, frantically stepping out of paige’s touch.
paige reaches out for azzi’s frame, “no i won’t.”
practically tripping over herself, azzi rushes over to her previous seat with paige right on her heels. she grabs her belongings before giving a lone glance back at the blonde; she was breathing hard, hands slightly shaking, with a disappointed yet shameful expression on her face.
azzi turns away and is gone before paige had the time to blink.
“god fucking dammit,” paige mutters to herself, ashamed of her actions that caused azzi to run off.
paige finds an open spot at the bar and orders yet another round of shots, not caring about the concerned looks she was receiving from her teammates.
paige swallows shot after shot, trying to drown her sorrows and any lingering thoughts of azzi. of course she had to ruin whatever was happening between them. of course.
“paige, don’t you think that’s enough for tonight?” aubrey cautiously questions her friend.
paige drunkenly chuckles, “not even close,” throwing back another burning shot.
#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#pazzi#uconn wbb#nika muhl#uconn huskies#basketball#paige x azzi#fanfic#pazzi fics#paige buckets#fan fiction#uconn women’s basketball
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Wow, I didn't think that post would get me even more hate to be honest 😅
First of all, I wasn't talking about ALL Carlos fans but about some "fans" (you can't call them like that, not after the really harsh words I received) who came into my asks when i asked nothing: I never was mean about Carlos, i didn't even defend Charles. I only posted 2-3 things related to this Charlos gate or whatever the fandom is calling it.
Here are some of the posts in questions:
After the first one, I received insults (anons and non anons, I don't know what is worst, that's what I was talking about them being younger and not knowing how the Schumi era and baby Shumi era were, (the non-anos were 17-18) because people misunderstood it (or understood what they wanted to understand).
After one or two more posts after the end of the race, it escalated very quickly, I received death threats! That's very serious! How can it come to this for a FUCKING sport? There are more serious things in life!
So, yeah, I was quite pissed after that.
Also, I didn't even defend Charles in my post, rereading now and I undertand I may have sound like I did but I'm French and I may have translated word by word what i wanted to say (it's a bit complicated but we sometimes use "you" to talk about people + ourserlves in some sketchy expressions). Anyway, what he said was definitely inappropriate and very "childish" in a way. Those words should had been spoken in private with his team and Carlos, not in front of million of people; and I think if FIA penalised swear words, they should start looking at those kind of statements.
Also, for those saying that I would be the kind of person to insult their favorite driver(s), you don't know me, you can even check my blog if you have nothing more interesting to do (lol), I never insulted anyone like some people do in f1blr. We can dislike or even hate a driver with our whole being, that's ok, for each their own I guess. We can't love everyone, you have the right to defend your favs, that's our choice too, but don't go and roast people when they didn't even say something wrong in the first place. (again, i hope those anons are reading it)
I never got haters before today (just one a few months ago with tennisblr but it was more a troll more than anything else) I usually don't interract a lot because I don't like conflicts but receiving multiple insults for something I can't control: I'm not Charles, I can't control what he says, I'm not a Carlos hater neither, i'm just here, blogging and reblogging stuff I love, mostly sports, sometimes with my particular sense of humor.
Nobody is perfect for sure, and I'm sorry if some of you thought I was just calling out Carlos or defending Charles. He may be one of my favourite drivers, just like other drivers can be yours: all of them are not flawless and we may continue to like them or not after different sorts of situations, that's up to us.
To finally finish my thesis (sorry if you're still reading), I didn't know that I would be so stressed on tumblr one day (call me a sensitive person) but this website is my sanctuary, I hope it will stay like that for a very long time but you can't be appreciated by the whole world, I lost some of my mutuals and i accept that. This morning's messages went too far and that's not normal to say thing like that, no matter how peacecul I am, I had to call them out. Also, on my other fandoms, you can share thought without (or almost) getting attacked verbally, that's sad that it's not the same anymore here, but yeah, football is the same.
You can choose to answer or not, I won't block anyone because I don't feel the need to, opinions can be shared but respectfully, I would be happy to talk more if some of you are up to.
So, I don't know what to add, have a great end of the season, everyone!
i don't know if everyone who reblogged or commented can see it when I reblog it so i'm tagging y'all: @midesastremanifiesto , @janesurlife , @gaypoetsblog , @katarf1a , @chaitalinath , @danieldrivesfast , @landhoe-norris , @eightsixtiism
One thing is funny about being insulted by all those Carlos "fans" (won't call them real fans tbh he deserves way better than toxic people): I was already watching F1 that they were not born, if you think that Charles was shitty today, just remember we had Michael Schumacher as the most dramatic queen ever and Sebastian Vettel was a little Gremlin at some points. REAL FANS WERE NOT FIGHTING FOR THAT!
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well. that was definitely an episode..
my thoughts on the episode/show overall for now:
hong jo and shin yu were so fucking cute this episode it almost killed me
i'm glad they're not having a baby yet but shin yu's parents having a baby instead.. why the fuck. she was gonna divorce that asshole 😭😭 one drunk sorry does not make up for years of (verbal) abuse
also also shin yu why the fuck would u tell your parents about the 'baby' without telling hong jo first??? that was not cute at all
i did not understand ms ma like she was dead set against marriage and the next scene they're getting married.. do the women in this show not get a say in anything or.. hello writers???
i'm glad hong jo and shin yu got their happy ending but sad we barely got any answers
anyway the show overall: solid idea but the execution needs some work lmao i loved the romcom stuff and all the silliness. the curse/red hand was well done and i loved that it turned out to be hong jo's hand (kudo's to everyone who figured that out only a few episodes in)
i loved how hong jo stood her ground, against that creep and na yeon. i'm so proud of her and she really has grown stronger since the start of the show. hong jo ily forever <3
speaking of that creep: i hate to say it but he was a great villian he really creeped me out
overall a fun show to watch, i'm gonna do a rewatch soon (soon = probably tomorrow lmao i already miss them)
this was the first time i've seen jo bo ah and rowoon in anything and they were both amazing, their chemistry 🔥🔥🔥🔥 sometimes i'd almost forget they were acting. i'm definitely gonna check out more of their stuff (please send me recommendations)
#destined with you#destined with you spoilers#nobody asked for my thoughts but here they are anyway#sorry if i'm all over the place and not making sense hdkdhdj#i have more thoughts but i am tired
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live drama adaptations (1/?)
(next)
#doodles#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#sorry not really in this one but it leads up to it i promise#(tori does not tell him)#yuzumido#tori himemiya#yuzuru fushimi#midori takamine#enstars#lazier than my usual minicomics but GOD this week has been absolute hell for me this alone took too much out of me#but im hanging in there (i am Really Not) (pretend i am) (im fine) (lying)#ignore the bad manga title i really didnt know what to do w it i almost left it as ''some manga/drama''#nobodys asking but plot of the manga is a romcom drama between 2 cafe workers. side chara/love rival initially is set up to be going after#the FL but has actually been in love w the ML the whole time (i put too much thought into this for no reason)#anyways tori reads the manga himself after the revelation#i think abt yuzuru getting acting jobs a lot more post togenkyo often and here we are
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“...Wrong? Why would anything go wrong?”
Without further ado, a stimboard for @ask-the-biggering-onceler!
x|x|x x|x|x x|x|x
#TADAAAA :D#ohh there's SO much going on here#the first one is interesting bc i tried to avoid gifs of the outside#but this one strikes me as a moment from before the blog started#a brief moment of introspection and dwelling on the past as he looks out at the dwindling remains of the forest#though to him i’m sure any second thought about what could’ve been is a second wasted and he snaps himself out of it shortly after#THE BEAR THE TEDDY BEAR#it's a foreboding reference to the barbaloots it's a representation of the past it's everything to me :D#the spotlight for being the center of attention and scrutiny alike; loud and flashy juxtaposed with the softer candles on the other side#the gears are for the factory but note how clean it looks#showing his desperate attempts to keep his reputation intact and insist that absolutely nobody has died within the walls of this place#the velvety red fabric resembles both theater curtains (performance and the blog) and the curtains in his office#and they’re positioned opposite to the one glimpse we see of the outside world calling back to that one scene in the 1972 version#a camera for both his surveillance over thneedville and the press plus a reference to that old photo of him before his business days#the entire middle column is a brief glimpse into all the good intent that got soured along the way#while the right column represents his success and splendor#alternatively the bear and the camera could reference that one scene in hbcib with pipsqueak!#and that last one is for the extravagance of the ball!#you could say it being next to the camera means he’ll be keeping a close eye on partygoers >:3#i actually steered clear of stuff like sewing and other such manual work to show how he stands at the very top#arghh i could go on about every little part of the layout and how the different themes connect and oppose each other it's so fun!!!!! :D#anyways i hope ya like it ouo!!!#biggerler#ask the biggering onceler#stimboard#my nonsense
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pre-holiday leave crumbs
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#hey. if I give u a bottle labeled wine with somethin else inside. would u drink it#anyways. tomorrow I Travel#The Turbulance evened out alright! so the Traveling could no longer be postponed#three days on da road babeyy (<- shaking and crying)#goin to a market! I'll try to get a new kitchen knife there. will be better than whatever the fucks goin on in our kitchen rn#anyways. post-fic haze has settled in once again I am simply no thought. this will continue for hopefully five hours#until I gotta get up for car time#kinda whittling down the 20yo reki design slowly to get to a point where it feels Correct#20yo langa is already perfect. maybe to nobody but me but I stand the fuck by it#I believe in langa looking like a guy lesbians would hit on by accident in his 20s. I hold myself to it#oh yeah if ur asking. no that was not a cigarette in the first pic. sorry Im a tightass about smoking thats a lollipop#in my head its the pickled mango flavour that alpenliebe already made a hard candy version of here#hard sour candy shell with. chili salt core. it is good (?) but it hurts my stomach (I will not stop eating them)#also if u catch the acc name going outside the panel in the comic. its bc I could NOT leave it at just 'random white girl'#it has to be the full thing I cannot do this fake fictional twitter user like that#literally the only preliminary caution I take for funny comics. nothign else makes sense I dont care. this is necessary however#anyways. it is time for baku to be horizontal and shit. so here we goooo#have a good nite lads! idk what will happen in the next 3 days! will most probably be silent! and then dip pen comms will open again#eat well sleep well! two daysborday until labor day
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Okay, my imagination has officially run away with me… so, after this post, I really had the urge to watch Hercules and now I actually have that Ed/Bart Hercules AU (that nobody asked for) forming in my head…
One where Bart is Hercules with super speed and Ed is Meg - already jaded by life and under the control of Lex as hades - who owns his soul and his powers. the league are the gods of Olympus and the Light fills the ranks of the underworld, Jay and Joan are the couple who raise Bart, the muses are made up of the OG team girlies - M’gann, Zatanna, Raquel and Artemis but Cassie is also one as well… then I think Wally is Phil… and Jaime would fit into the Pegasus role… and that’s all I got as of yet for the roles…
With whatever deal Ed originally makes to Lex - I haven’t figured out if it’s a similar saving a past love situation, like Meg, or maybe something involving his dad or even just trying to help a stranger who he thought was in need - he loses his powers and must do Luthor's bidding, which is what gets him stuck in the bind with whoever he’s meeting for the businessman, that Bart determines as an ‘I need to save this person’ situation. Lex then gives him the power back so Ed can get close to Bart and figure out his weakness. The power is then stripped away from Ed in front of Bart in order to convince him to sign away his own powers - which he does. Then, now being free, they’re finally fully back for the big Meg saves Hercules moment… this version would consist of Bart, having signed away his speed, not being fast enough to notice the big heavy object that’s about to squash him, and Ed, with his powers back, teleporting in to push Bart out of the way and ultimately taking the fatal hit which then breaks lex’s deal and gives Bart his powers back. Bart saves the league but isn’t fast enough to get back to Ed before he succumbs to his injuries… leading into the finale that I haven’t figured out yet…
and that’s all I got.
LB :)
#nobody asked for this but here it is anyway…#hercules au#young justice#my random thoughts#yj#bartuardo#bart allen#eduardo dorado jr#lex luthor
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the internet: yeah to practise harm reduction you go for areas that have more flesh to avoid going too deep and needing medical attention
me, an idiot: let's pick this spot anyway, how bad can it be. ...how did i get that deep that quickly
#tw sh#im fine although there was definitely a moment where i worried i wouldn't be#when you grab a rag and put pressure on it and a few minutes later move your hand and discover it was completely soaked and your hand#is all bloody now too. anyway it stopped shortly after that#someone told me recently that the width they'll start considering sutures is like 5mm which seems??? so odd to me??? like that's tiny??#anyway i didn't go as deep as the last two times yet so it's fine#(i also have a horrible habit of repeatedly going over the same place for several days afterwards so that will probably change)#but eh im fine#i was just surprised by how deep it got how quickly#also something i find funny: the way nurse brain doesn't shut off#'will i pick here - no wait that's near an artery/vein/nerve'#'or here - no wait that's too close to a good cannulation site'#'here - no too close to deltoid'#personal#puddleglum hours#but yeah i really am fine#although i have thoroughly discovered the allure of arm cutting so. we'll see#in my usual scintillating cleverness i literally thought about visibility this time bc it's nearly short sleeve weather and nobody knows im#going this deep. except my mentor and my sister. but they both only know about the first time#however i did not consider. that most of my clothing does not have as long a short sleeve as my placement uniform. so im gonna either#have to be real careful about what clothing i pick for the next. oh month or two. since the first one was end of august and it's a month an#a bit later and it's still got a while of healing to go before i can wear short sleevs and pretend the scar was from months an months ago i#asked. anyway!#play stupid games you win stupid prizes
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figured out how to edit the game files and combine some mods so i could try out different things with gale's earring because i have a lot of thoughts... also gale's earring should really be positioned lower but i'm having an issue with one of the mods, oh well
#baldur's gate 3#gale dekarios#oc: elenion silverdew#gale x tav#okay here's my thoughts that i didn't wanna put in the main post:#i think gale should choose--on his own without being prompted by anyone else--to leave his earring at stormshore tabernacle#but i don't think he should replace it immediately. elenion certainly wouldn't ask him to.#they WOULD be surprised and would wonder if he intends to replace it but they'd never press him to do so. especially not right then.#not when he has so much he needs to process and there's still no guarantee they'll both live through all this anyway.#however i do think gale brings up wanting to get a new earring sometime before their wedding#and i'm torn between 1) elenion offering to share his favorite pair of earrings with gale as a symbol of their bond#or 2) elenion offering to take gale shopping and gale just gets a simple stud that matches the jewel on his earrings#(i mean it IS blue which tim downie says is gale's favorite color so...)#OR 3) same as 2 but gale ends up picking out a gold sun to match his silver moon#okay whoops i just wrote an essay in the tags about something nobody but me cares about. oh well!#otp: you put the stars to shame#yeah i'm going to be cringe and assign an otp tag to gale and my oc. and what about it.#creme don't look
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some hockey players grow on you slowly — you come to appreciate them over time as you get to know the way they play and conduct themselves, pick up the tiny things that set them apart. but other players are the type you're enamored with right away, from the first shift onward. you see them play and you think, god, if only that guy could be on my team, we'd win the cup. i'd die happy. you just know in your heart that this is a guy you could love forever if given the chance. tj oshie is this type of player for me and i don't think i'm alone in this.
okay, picture this: 2014. sochi. usa vs. russia. it's pretty much a meaningless game, technically speaking. but fuck, it'd be nice to win. one of the really magical things about the olympics is that it brings heroes to light, and medals don't always have something to do with that. when tj oshie took six shootout attempts and scored four times to beat the russians, he cemented himself in the hearts of american hockey fans for life. and more than one person i know became a hockey fan because of this infamous shootout. a signature moment! american hero tj oshie, we said. tj sochi! he was considered a tossup to make the team at all, and ten years later, that shootout is basically all we remember about that usa squad. and yet tj always deflected the attention to the guy on the other end of the ice, the goalie who kept the game alive and gave tj the opportunity to ice the game. (thank you, jon quick!!!!) and i think maybe this is one of the easiest ways to explain who tj oshie is: a guy who always plays for his teammates, who digs deep and comes up big when needed, and a guy who will always uplift those around him rather than bask in attention alone.
in the summer of 2015, the capitals traded for tj. at the time, they were searching for a winger who could play to the right of nicklas bäckström. the young guns era was emphatically over; just ovi and nicke remained, and the team just. was not quite there yet. they were good, but not quite there. and gmbm and co. believed that this winger — high energy, physical with some offensive finish — would be able to put them over the top.
and, well, it turned out alright, didn't it?
i don't want to understate the importance of tj's blues era one bit; by all accounts he speaks of his time there glowingly. he did a lot of growing up there, playing for seven seasons with st. louis. so do not take this the wrong way at all but: tj oshie was always meant to be a capital — this is a team that has always seemed to have versions of a core four; there have been so many iterations of the caps with so many great players, but to me, despite my genuine love for the young guns, when all is said and done: the most impactful and truest core will be ovi, nicke, carly, and from the moment he arrived, osh. he fit so seamlessly into the ethos of the organization that it feels now, almost a decade later, like he has always worn capitals red. fans cheerfully joke about how glad they are that the capitals drafted him in 2005. he came into his own here. he's ours. not all big trades can be a home run. but thank god this one was.
he arrived in dc with his customary aplomb and good nature that would endear him to the fans, organization, and local media alike. his energy on and off the ice was notable. he always had time for the people around him, no matter who they were, and that's something that continues to this day — fans talk all the time about how warm and genuine tj is when they happen to meet him out and about. i think one of the most likable things about tj is how absolutely down to earth he is; he is so aware that he is, at the end of the day, just some guy! who's lucky to be living the dream.
but of course, it's not all luck! tj on the ice works as hard as anybody i've ever seen. when asked to talk about him, every one of his teammates and coaches mention his work ethic, his effort level, his layman's attitude in his approach despite having the hands to be able to play an entirely different sort of game. and it's like, the way he plays is not easy on the body; he's built solid but no one would ever call him big. especially when he was younger he played with reckless abandon; you could see his eyes light up when he had a guy lined up for a huge momentum swinging hit. these days he skates as hard as ever but picks his spots for that big physical play more wisely out of necessity. the last few years he's fought back from injury after injury; i think there's a lot of anxiety every time he goes down from the fans because there is this pervasive feeling of: what if he doesn't come back this time? what if this is the one that forces him away? so far, he's always come back. and i love him for that, but i also think he's given so much more of himself to the franchise than we could have ever reasonably asked, and when he eventually hangs up the skates, i hope no one ever wears 77 for the capitals again.
in the end, looking back, i think tj will be remembered for a lot of things that he'd be proud of. but the thing that stands out the most comes down to this: he's all heart, man. like. he's very good, don't get me wrong, but he's never been the biggest or fastest or most talented player on the ice. what he has been though, all throughout his career, is fearless and selfless and determined. heart and hustle, that's tj down to the bone. i love watching him play because he plays from a place of so much emotion. sometimes it's pretty, sometimes it isn't, but he always, always plays with love: for his teammates and for the game and for the people in his life, and that manifests in the way he works so hard every single shift. and just when you think he can't possibly give any more, that he's already giving 100% and there isn't anything left in the tank, he digs deeper and gives you 110%, 115%. he elevates the players around him, too, because when a guy is grinding like he is and sacrificing the body and finding ways to contribute whether he's on the scoresheet or not, you can't not do the same.
he is such a leader in this room; he's been the beating heart of this club in so many ways for nearly ten years. i have a bad habit of mourning the loss of players before they're gone and i'm trying not to. just the thought of a capitals team with no tj oshie.... it feels awful!! above all i want him to be able to live a happy and healthy life post-hockey though, and i do understand what every game costs him. like time and time again, he's put team before his own body and wellbeing. i hope he knows that as fans, we do appreciate him every shift he takes and that we will not begrudge him for a single second when he does decide it's time to retire. and i hope he knows that the love he gives to the people around him is returned to him tenfold.
tl;dr: tj oshie it has been and continues to be a pure joy to watch you take the ice. i will always be grateful for the player and person you are. we could never repay you for everything you've given to us. we love you so, so much.
#meg.txtpost#ok this one's a doozy!! extremely fucking long for no reason besides the fact that i couldn't get my thoughts organized well.#anyway. here's the tj essay that nobody has asked for but i needed to get off my chest!! i really love him i am always wishing him the best#tj1k
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#sigh. another vent post....#almost getting tired of making these but. I'm just.... I just don't really have much else I can do without botherin people#uh pretty big trigger warning for this one BTW#don't read on if you're low on spoons and whatnot. genuinely it's fine and I will be fine I always am#but like. yknow. when shit sucks it fucking sucks#anyway. uh. I just can't stand the idea that I might be bothering someone#so at least this way my stupid cries for help have a possibility of getting me some without making any specific#person feel obligated. yknow? maybe you see the post maybe you don't#Maybe you don't read all the way maybe you do. either way you can choose if you have the spoons to reach out#without feeling guilty either way. I hope.#.......i kind of want to fucking kill myself again#.....it used to be a much rarer thought. and I used to be much less struck by intense loneliness and longing like this#but I just feel so fucking needy. so desperate for attention and love and it hurts so much if I don't get it#and like. it's realistically nobody's fault but my own yknow... i need to ask for it more. i know that. i just suck at it#and then I can't ask. so I don't get attention. and in turn I feel neglected. secondary. like I'm not anyone's primary focus#and it just fucking hurts so much and it's just my own damn fault and I don't know how to fix it.#......i do. I need therapy I need meds or something. that's the answer here really#picked out a psychiatrist. need to call and make an appointment. but adhd and executive function and anxiety (that last one I need meds for)#mean it's very hard to both remember and then actually perform the task of calling the fucjing Dr#......believe me I'm trying.....like fuck I'm trying so hard.... and I started bawling having seen sparkles and ms robot girl reblog that#post from me about letting prev know you're proud of them. bawled when quinn called me cutie last night. bawled when#ginny said they wished they were here.... fuck me I do too I want to be the focus of someone's attention so so so so badly#fuck#...............it's redundant to say at this point a second time but. goddess above its a little scary how much I wanna kill myself#........sigh#....anyway. please do not feel obligated to respond to this in any way. do what you got the spoons for.#thank you for even reading all of this shit if you've gotten this far. i love you deeply and with all my heart. I'll be fine I promise#won't act on it no matter how strong the feeling is. just.....hurts in the meantime. but I'll be ok. I promise#................fuck. im going back to bed
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For the past two weeks or so, I really tried to get my head around why everybody and their momma are raging about Hozier so much. I really, earnestly tried to because I wanted to understand it, but for some reason, it just didn't get to me. Don't get me wrong, the music is nice, yes, absolutely, but I didn't get the hype.
That was until I stumbled over the song "Swan Upon Leda" while standing in a violently overcrowded train an hour ago and felt the switch physically shifting in my brain. Like, what the hell?! That man sprinkled some crack into that song.
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I cannot fathom the level of self importance some people must have to behave this way
#it’s more so selfishness lmao#idk I’m getting unnecessarily worked up about this but 6 months ago I kinda vanished off of everywhere and then I noticed she deleted some#messages#girl I would’ve responded later calm down gosh the messages aren’t going anywhere nor are they disappearing#dora daily#I think of all people who should be mad you’re the last one because tell me why you were so viscerally rude to me since the beginning and#played a massive part of the roaa situation by being complacent when oh ! I thought you’d side with your alleged best friend ME#girl you have no right to complain at all not to mention you take FOREVER when you have no excuse to reply back but when I’m struggling I#apparently have zero excuse ☠️ girl bye#not to mention the fact that when I was so frustrated with myself having these bad headaches and being so incapable of doing anything when#exams were so close all you had to say was what can I do#well bitch what could I have done when you were at hospital#I guarantee you I was the only one texting you 24:7 asking how you were#reassuring you that it’s okay to feel upset about being in the fucking hospital and you don’t need to have such toxic positivity all the tim#oh but when the other girl had freaking back pain from her period or something apparently that’s more of a concern#girl bye#not me who has chronic headaches and cannot even study and nothing sticking cause it’s that bad#oh but go ahead compare it to your chronic illnesss like yes it’s horrible and yes it impacts you a lot#but I don’t think it impacts your brain and memorisation capacity#not to mention how fucking jealous she is of everything like I can say oh god I was so stressed and girl she has not felt stress in her life#compared to what I go through yet she is jealous of the fact I can stress ? tf?#and when I say I almost passed out cause of exhaustion she doesn’t give a shit when I was being so serious#in truth I’ve come to realise nobody does seem to care at all lmao they all think I’m lying#why would I lie about that be so fucking fr rn#anyways this is why I simply don’t want to talk about my physical condition with anyone anymore because they’ll think I’m a liar anyways 🤷♀#not to mention the fact if you even knew me a little you’d understand that it’s so impossibly hard for me to feel comfortable enough to#complain to talk about me feeling sick or sad or whatever I only do it here cause no one follows me and no one will rlly see it at all#but even here I feel like my throat closes up and I can barely breathe when I do complain#so pls …#this one sided friendship thing is crazy cause girl how do I shake you off?
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what did pj do /genq
he posted a video with pewdiepie a few days ago. Needless to say it gave me whiplash to see that in my youtube recommendations.. but it's more shocking to me to see that everyone was enjoying the video in the comments. or that here on tumblr, people have continued to post about pj completely ignoring the fact that he's out here collabing with Mr Notoriously Racist Youtuber
#why is no one talking about this#hello am i insane? listen if everyone were talking about this i wouldnt be but literally#it's genuinely shocking that nobody gives a fuck#yes that part of youtube is incredibly white but by god. i guess people cross over to tolerating the racism like its nothing#i mean there have been things in all these youtuber's channels that have aged poorly or rather were never really okay#yes even with the phantastic foursome yes even them#but honestly i wasnt going to make a post outlining all the shit bc whats the point? maybe people learn and grow#and none of it was pewdiepie levels#but to make a video with that man in 2024?? its not just a bad joke from 2011 you know what i mean?#it just seems so easy to me to just Not make a video with mr notoriously racist#and it also seems so easy to me to just not gloss over the implications of that as fans#bc it will interrupt your 'stan' posting or whatever#im just genuinely shocked that nobody sees something very off with this?#no one's bothered? do we not remember how bad pewdiepie was??#average youtube fans will tear a man to shreds for plagiarism but they can forgive racism (insert that one meme here)#anyway yea. those are just my thoughts#i guess theres a reason i stay out of youtube fandoms bc yikes#anon#asks#kickthepj
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nobody asked but here you go anyway <3
#nobody look at me#i had a thought and i couldn’t sleep until it existed#unfortunately i don’t know shit about editing so it is immensely terrible#and also i couldn’t figure out how to put the actual song in so. my apologies to your ears#i refused to listen to it so hopefully the audio is actually there alfhskdks#i was going to wait for liz to give me their input as to if this was horribly embarrassing or not#but i think they’re asleep so uhhhmmmmmm. well.#but i decided 1. i already made the damn thing and it is intentionally bad & 2. there is no better time to post this mess than at 2am#anyway#here you go: something nobody asked for#i made it with love and shame#also shout the fuck out to real editors this shit is so difficult and painful idk how yall do it#you’re goddamn heroes#911 fox#911#edit#good god i am so so fucking sorry
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