#and if any of this stuff turns out wrong like ... joey is doing another board game or whatever ... well

[lazarus-harp]

HI!! HELLO!! SORRY IF THIS IS SUDDEN. HOWEVER. THOUGHTS AND/OR THEORIES ON THE NEW ETN CONTENT? WHAT DO YOU THINK WE'LL GET IN A WEEK?

hello!!! and don't worry it's not sudden, my inbox is free for any questions or thoughts or what have you haha. as for any theories ...

for starters, i think it's pretty clear we're getting season five rather than a spin-off or what have you. at first i wasn't too sure, but once the artifact was revealed as pandora's box? yeah, this is s5. this was the cliffhanger we were left on four years ago and i think it was very purposeful of the team to include that as our first teaser. there's still a tiny chance that instead of a season, we'll get a book, given the use of 'chapter' and the fact joey's an author irl but i doubt this? joey was pretty upfront about the season one board game awhile back after some basic teasing, probably because he knew fans would be disappointed if he led them to believe it was a new season for too long, so i can't see him pulling these cryptic stunts unless it was for a real season. he's been steadily and quietly building intense anticipation for this, which is similar to his announcements of other seasons in the past. maybe this is something everyone knows but i just wanted to clarify! since i've seen some people ( rightfully! ) still being on the fence about it as to not get their hopes up. i can also say my theory for the era will be 1950s themed, since mr. graceffa has a penchant for the 1900s ( 3/4 of his seasons are set in this era ) and he's expressed interest in it before ; most notably with a diner setting of sorts. personally, i'd want an era that's further back like s2, but maybe he'll surprise me!

honestly, i don't have many theories for etn s5 in general. i was of the firm belief it wasn't happening, so i haven't spared it much thought besides what everyone else expected it to be. people are probably going to enter pandora's box to save joey, or for another unrelated reason, or maybe they've been trapped there, but it'll likely still revolve around getting the savant out of the box. the only two things i'm forming tentative theories about, in an overall fashion, is that we might return to the s1 estate? the house emoji reminded me of it, considering the estate was called 'the house built without hands', and the decrepit look of the house was too interesting to be anything but intentional. something that's been abandoned and has rotted because of it. after such a long hiatus and how long etn has been running for, it would feel fitting to make a return to where the tragedy started ... so i could see this in the cards for s5. the other thing is that, due to the social media cleanse etn's pages took, i do think something will be different about the usual formula as well. i heard they were following amazon tv and netflix right before going dark, so it might also move platforms, which. yeah. obviously! the entire point as to why it got stalled to begin with was due to youtube red no longer supporting it. but i'm trying to cover all my bases here, since you asked and i like being thorough! my point being that when another production company gets involved, there should be an expectation of little or major changes coming with it. so i like keeping that in mind, just in case. i also semi hope joey learned his lesson after fans' disappointment ( unjustified or not ) with s4 keeping the same formula despite being a 'special' season.

the accounts also posted something about halloween weekend, which if this is a season, i'm guessing we might get a trailer or another teaser in video form ( but longer ). 11/2 seems to be the most important date overall, because that's probably when they'll start releasing it? or maybe, like before, halloween will be promotional images of the cast that'll get revealed on november second, with a trailer to boot. who knows! those are just my guesses as for what i think i'll see in the following days.

now! with my weak attempts of theory crafting out of the way, i'll share my thoughts!

as mentioned in a previous post, and as all my friends know from countless dms, i'm actually more nervous than excited for s5! it's been four years and as a die hard fan who's poured a lot of time, effort, and care into the individual characters and storyline i'm naturally weary of this being a 'bad' season. my main concern is that'll feel like just any other season of escape the night rather than something important ; because this is our fifth go at this and we haven't advanced much in the plot, or dedicated much time into the savant's progression and downfall. in my head, i've always viewed s5 as the finale so to speak. an end to etn. i guess it's because i don't know where else we'll go after joey is, inevitably, freed from pandora's box. we can't keep up the same rhythm of : joey gets trapped/hurt/needs help, so he invites his friends willingly or unwillingly over to an era out of time, they come and then die, and boom here's our two survivors as this shit starts again. s4 changed this slightly, which i give it some credit for, but at the end of the day it was still the same thing. etn isn't only a reality show competition and a fun death game, it's always been given this overarching plot that we're supposed to care about and believe in. but uh! we haven't gone anywhere with that. there's been no real sign of this cursed god and we've hardly explored the society against evil and we still know nothing about why the collector even did what she did. these blanks are ones i've happily filled and played with over the years, but people want answers! and the show really has to stop dancing around actual, meaningful plot for the sake of doing this for as long as possible. shows who have ten or so seasons are never good and they quickly lose any semblance of interesting plots, well done characters, and general creativity by season six and onward. it's happened to countless shows! including cartoon products who don't have the same amount of serious stakes or plot. it's just a risky move, so we need to start delving into this shit now rather than later, that is if etn wants to go that route.

in my opinion, the cursed god vs sae battle is one that isn't joey's ( or any of the other characters' ) concern. it never has been. the carnival master wasn't lying when he said the sae caught joey into a war that isn't his, and frankly i'm very vocal about my distaste towards the so called good guys of the story. they've used joey just as much as the other side at this point. people love forgetting this but the only reason joey actually lured the s3 gang into danger and let them die was because jael and ryu gave him the choice to begin with. had they not bothered him, he would've stayed dead and not hurt anyone anymore ... would've been allowed to rest! during the scene, they also use very purposeful and pointed wording to scare him into agreeing. if people told me i'd be 'lost among the dead forever' if i refused to potentially sacrifice my friends? i'd be tempted to make that deal too. at the end of the day, these people are bad for the savant. they need to get out of his life pronto and they need to stop using his friends as body shields for a war nobody's agreed to. the only reason mat and nikita even joined them was because they were under the illusion they could save the everlockers! like, i do not fuck with the sae. and if i could wishfully conjure up a plotline in s5, it'd be joey realizing that they're bad news and that they've played a heavy hand in how traumatized, apathetic, and hated he's become. to me the perfect s5 ending would be joey stepping back, letting this centuries old war continue without him, and then just going somewhere. disappears all quiet. now i know that's unlikely lol. yet i do want it to be clear that if joey dies and stays dead, i'll likely come out of the new season disliking it. i've never been a fan of people wanting some perfect happy ending, where joey dies and then everyone else is revived. it'd make the emotions i've felt over this show and these avoidable deaths meaningless! and besides, i think joey should actually be forced to live with his actions after everything's said and done, rather than getting a quick out.

ahem! i also hope the box has warped joey in some way, like it did with that sae agent. let him have non-human features! let him be a villain! as lovingly as possible, joey needs to hit rock bottom before we can see any real redemption from him. his character development has always been negative, a downwards spiral, so i hope this sticks in s5. let him get worse before he gets better! its simply more fun than way, and irl joey deserves to play a bad guy and have total fun with it tbh.

oh, and i don't want this to be an all winners season. i actually don't ever want an all winners season <3 mainly because if i have to watch any of the survivor pairs be forced into killing each other i'll never recover. and i'm just not interested in having to listen to people claim mat and eva would be the survivers because they're just 'so smart' ... if i have to re-do arguments of why having a big brain isn't enough to save you in etn, and that these death games are in fact not fair, it'll be a bad day for everyone. some things are better left in the past! on this note, despite my selfish want for them to return, i don't know if i actually want mat and nikita back, like narratively? while they care for joey and want answers, they failed the one thing they wanted to do. and now they actually have to begin the grieving process for everyone they desperately hoped to get back. just feels like seeing them in s5 all smiles and behaving nonchalantly would feel off, you know? although that's probably a minor, insignificant concern compared to the rest of these things. ahhh what else ...

i can't really think of anything more! i'm sure something will hit me later, yet that's it for now i guess! sorry for how absolutely incoherent this all is ; it's three am and i'm not good at airing so many things out at once, no matter how many times i've thought about it. however, thank you for the question!!! it was very fun to answer, if not a little nerve wrecking since i know some of these are. unpopular opinions. but i just wanted to be brutally honest!

[tortie-tales]

Friendship Ch. 6

I scrolled through my notifications, shocked. They were almost exclusively from Mokuba, who had called and messaged me over a hundred times.

I opened the group chat I was in and began to catch up. They were all related to my whereabouts, except for the last few;

Red Eyes: If anyone asks, (y/n) stayed home because she had diarrhea.

Dancer Girl: Couldn't you have thought of a better excuse, Joey?!

King of Games: I'm with Téa, couldn't we have just said that she wasn't feeling too good?

I groaned before typing up a quick response.

Psychopath: Gee, thanks, Joey. I'm fine guys, I was just sleeping all day.

I'm so happy we don't have school tomorrow, I thought to myself, dreading the homework I would have to catch up on tomorrow.

My stomach growled, reminding me of my original goal: food.

I sighed and stood up, stretching. I walked back into my bathroom and decided to try to fix my hair. I combed it back, only for it to look worse. I sighed and grabbed a hoodie off of my bed, pulling it on quickly.

I grabbed my wallet, only to see that I had five dollars left. No food for me, I guess.

I put my wallet back down and grabbed my laptop, deciding to instead spend this time looking for another job. I walked back out to the living room, hearing the brothers chatter quiet down once again.

"Thanks for checking on me-” I looked at Kaiba “-and breaking my window. You guys can stay if you want, but I'm not making any food or doing anything fun.” I sat down next to Kaiba and directed my attention to Mokuba. “Why did you call me so many times?”

“We were worried!” Mokuba exclaimed.

“Didn't you just say that you were hungry?” Kaiba asked, eyeing me. I shrugged.

“I guess I'm just not hungry anymore.” My stomach growled almost immediately as if it were protesting to my lie. My cheeks flushed slightly.

“..right,” Mokuba said, disbelief evident in his tone. “Seto, I'm hungry too. We should order a pizza!” His eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Absolutely not. You know how much I hate greasy foods,” Kaiba scoffed.

"But Seto, you shattered (y/n)’s window! The least you could do is order pizza for us!” Mokuba begged.

I laughed. “He has a point, you just cost me my deposit, which was two hundred dollars, not counting the repairs I'll have to pay for. Pizza is the least you could do,” I said, smiling. I shut my computer and turned my attention towards him. Mokuba perked up.

Your move, Kaiba.

“I already said no, if you’re that worried about the window I’ll just pay to have it replaced and refund your deposit,” he said cockily. Mokuba groaned.

“Sorry, I only take payment via pizza.”

Mokuba perked up once again, a wide grin spread across his face. He giggled.

Kaiba sighed. “Fine. Gather your things, we’re heading back.”

“Okay big brother. Bye (y/n),” Mokuba mumbled sadly.

“No, (y/n) is coming with us.”

“She is?” Mokuba jumped up off the chair.

“I am?”

“Yes. You wanted payment in pizza, correct?” I nodded, still not understanding why I would have to go to his house. “I refuse to look at that greasy peasant food, let alone let Mokuba consume it. My personal chef will be making us dinner tonight.”

“I appreciate it Kaiba, but it’s kind of late, and I don’t want to get back when it’s dark.”

“You could stay the night!” Mokuba exclaimed throwing his arms out and smacking Kaiba in the process. He gave a quick apology before redirecting his attention to me.

“Ah, that’s sweet of you, but I’m not sure about that,” I said, not knowing how to feel.

“You obviously don’t feel safe here,” Seto began, pinching the bridge of his nose, “you had a chair propped up against your front door and you tripped me with a bat. We have 24/7 security at the mansion, and I can guarantee that no one there will hurt you.”

“Plus your window is broken, so that makes it even less safe,” Mokuba added quietly. Kaiba shot him a glare.

They have a point…

“Alright, let me get some stuff packed.” I stood up and walked to my room, smiling at Mokuba’s cheers.

I stopped in the hallway, realization hitting me.

“Actually, I don’t want anyone stealing my stuff. You guys wouldn’t happen to have boards in your car, would you?” I asked sheepishly.

“I’ll get someone to take care of it,” Kaiba said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Hurry up and gather your things.”

“Alright, no need to rush me.” I went to my room and packed some clothes along with my chargers and laptop. I brushed my hair out and threw it up into a bun before returning to the brothers.

“I’m ready.”

Mokuba grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. “This is so exciting, Seto never lets me have friends over!”

The cold air made my skin tingle. I walked out onto the pavement and was surprised to see a sports car parked outside. “Did you drive that over here?” I asked Kaiba.

Kaiba scoffed. "How else do you think we got here?” he asked cockily, continuing to walk towards the bright blue car.

“Gee, I don't know, don't you guys have limos?” I asked sarcastically, a little annoyed with his behavior. I glanced at Mokuba, who seemed to share my frustrations.

Mokuba had a look of disbelief and irritation on his face, one that quickly turned into a mischievous grin. “Seto was so worried about you, (y/n), he couldn't trust our driver to get us here fast enough!” He gave us an innocent look before opening the passenger door for me. “Here you go, (y/n).”

“Thank you, Mokuba.” I got into the car, buckling my seatbelt and holding my bag on my lap.

I glanced at Kaiba, quickly looking away before he could accuse me of staring. I directed my attention at the window, watching the scenery fly by.

The ride to the mansion was short and silent, the only noise being the purr of the engine.

We finally arrived at the mansion, pulling in front of the building. Mokuba practically lept out of the car, running to the doors.

I got out of the car and swung my bag over my shoulder, smiling at Mokuba’s energetic outburst.

I waited for Kaiba to get out and walked with him towards the enormous building, opening the door for him.

“Where should I put my stuff?” I asked.

“Seto will show you to your room! What do you want on the pizza, (y/n)?” Mokuba asked, ecstatic.

“What about (favorite topping)?” I said, glancing at Kaiba. He looked tired and slightly annoyed.

“Sounds good to me! I’ll go ask Raymond to start on it!” Mokuba ran off, likely in the direction of the kitchen.

“Follow me,” Kaiba said quietly.

We walked for what seemed like forever before reaching a hallway with 2 doors on each side, and one at the end.

Kaiba opened the second door on the right, walking in and turning on the light. A bed was on the left side, with a dresser across from it.

“This will be your room for the night. Try not to mess it up too badly.” He rubbed the back of his neck, averting his gaze. “And, if you need to sleep here for more than one night, you’re welcome to do so. Mokuba appears to enjoy your company.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Kaiba. I really appreciate it. And thanks for checking up on me today, sorry if I made you worry.”

Kaiba locked eyes with me, his gaze softening. He opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by Mokuba entering the room.

“Hey, uhh, big brother? Raymond quit.” Mokuba handed Kaiba a note.

“Unbelievable,” Kaiba muttered.

I tossed my bag on the bed and walked over to Mokuba. “Should we just order one?”

“No. I’ll make it myself.” Kaiba crumpled up the note and threw it into a waste bin before dramatically exiting the room. I quickly followed, afraid I would get lost in the endless halls.

We reached the front of the mansion, the glass coffee table in front of the couch looking at me threateningly.

“Do you want help, Kaiba?” I asked, still following him. We went through an archway which revealed a large kitchen.

“No, I do not need help, thank you. I think I am capable of making a pizza by myself.” Kaiba walked up to the fridge and got out several ingredients, mumbling to himself. The only words I could catch were ‘unreliable’ and ‘idiot’.

Mokuba walked up beside me, glancing up at me. “So, (y/n), do you want to play video games while we wait for Seto?”

“Sure, what do you want to play?” I grinned at Mokuba’s excited smile and followed him into the living room, watching him open a cabinet and look through the games.

I sat down on the couch, carefully walking around the glass coffee table.

“Do you want to play Mario Kart?!” Mokuba asked, his eyes shining.

“Sure,” I said, entertained by the idea of destroying this young child.

I let him win the first few rounds before I got serious. I easily beat him, flaunting my victory after the third win.

“I am the Mario Kart Queen!” I yelled, standing up and throwing my hands in the air. Mokuba giggled.

“The Queen, huh?” Kaiba walked into the living room, smiling slightly. I grinned at him.

“Yep. Care to challenge me for the title?” I asked, holding up a controller.

“Not today,” he said, walking over and sitting across from me. I smiled at him, happy he was talking to me a bit more than last time.

“Mokuba, can you set a timer for the pizza?” Kaiba asked. Mokuba nodded and grabbed his phone.

Mokuba and I played a few more rounds of Mario Kart. He gave up after I won for the fifth time in a row.

“So Seto, tell me more about that girl you fired today.” Mokuba was barely able to sit still, constantly moving around in anticipation of the pizza.

“She was incompetent, and I have no room for incompetent people at KaibaCorp,” he stated simply before sipping from his glass of water.

“What did she do wrong?” I asked curiously.

“Well, for starters she didn’t appreciate the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. She had the audacity to tell me that it was just a card,” Kaiba looked up at me. “She also overlapped my appointments several times, and I had to do her job for her today.”

“I see. Was she your secretary?” I asked. Kaiba affirmed by nodding. “Does that mean you are looking for someone to replace her?”

“Are you interested?” Kaiba asked, raising an eyebrow. Mokuba was watching us intently.

I thought for a moment.

Do I really want to work for Kaiba?

Joey had always told me horror stories, but he didn’t seem that bad. Joey also exaggerated a lot, so something simple like Kaiba's taste in food probably offended him.

"Yes. Should I set up an appointment for an interview now? Or would you rather do that later on?” To say I was desperate for this job was an understatement. If I got it, it would take a lot off of my shoulders.

Mokuba and Kaiba looked at each other. Kaiba took a breath to respond before Mokuba quickly interrupted him.

"You're hired.”

“Mokuba, she's still in school. How is she possibly going to have time to work full-time as my secretary?”

Oh. I guess he has a point.

“But it would be perfect! You would get to see each other all the time!” Mokuba protested.

I sighed. “He has a point, Mokuba, I didn’t realize the job was full time. You're not offering any part-time jobs, are you?” I asked, still desperate. Kaiba thought for a moment.

“Do you want to scrub toilets?” he asked. Mokuba facepalmed.

"....how much does it pay?” I asked.

“Sixteen dollars an hour,” Kaiba stated simply.

“Done. I'm hired.” I stood up and stretched. “I feel like the pizza should have been done by now. Mokuba, how much time is left on the timer?”

Mokuba looked at his phone and paled. “I never pressed start.”

“Do you guys smell something burning?” I asked, looking at the kitchen. Black smoke became visible.

“Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mokuba screamed.

“The pizza!!!!” I yelled, running into the kitchen. I threw the oven open only to be smacked in the face with the sun's heat and glory, along with a ton of smoke. I started coughing and grabbed the pizza, desperate to save it.

The pan burned my hand, and I yelled, dropping the pizza. The pain was intense, but it hurt more to know that my food was willing to hurt me in that way.

“What are you doing?!” Kaiba yelled, startling me. He put on an oven mitt and put the pizza on the stove.

“Saving the pizza,” I said, coughing a little. Kaiba sighed and opened a window. He walked over to the sink and turned the water on.

“Put your hand under the water,” he said, walking back to the burnt pizza. I followed his directions quietly, looking back at him. He shook his head and shoved the pizza aside.

I stood there for a few minutes. He walked over to me and turned the tap off, gently grabbing my wrist. He looked at my hand and shook his head once again.

“Come on.” Kaiba walked out of the kitchen. “Mokuba, order a pizza.”

Mokuba cheered and ran for his phone.

I followed Kaiba through the mansion, keeping my burnt hand close to myself. We reached a familiar hallway, entering the second door on the left.

We entered the master bedroom. There was a bed with a dark blue comforter on the right side of the wall, a window at the back of the room, and a door on the left of the room.

“Sit down,” he said, opening the door. He walked into a bathroom and opened a cupboard.

“Where?” I asked, glancing around.

“On the bed.” Kaiba walked back to me with a first aid kit.

He sat on the bed next to me and tenderly took my hand in his. I looked away, my cheeks warm, trying to ignore how his rough hands fit perfectly around my own.

“It’s fine, you know. The burn isn’t even that bad, it’s not like I’m going to die,” I mumbled. I glanced over at him and watched him completely ignore me, continuing to treat my burn. He lightly wrapped it in gauze. When done, he sat there holding my hand, saying nothing.

"...Kaiba?"

"Enlighten me: why did you grab the pizza pan with your bare hand?" he asked in disbelief.

"It was burning??" I said, confused.

"There were oven mitts right there." His eyes pierced into my soul, analyzing my very being.

"Well, Kaiba, I wasn't looking for oven mitts, I was saving the pizza." He looked irritated at my response, removing his right hand from mine and pinching the bridge of his nose, his left hand remaining on mine.

Kaiba let out a deep sigh and stood up, pulling me with him. "Let's go see what Mokuba ordered."

[technicolor--dreams]

the object of her affection chapter 18 (FINAL CHAPTER)

Hello, Idk if anyone is still reading (i did post this for the 3 people who were kind enought to relpy they were interested, after all ) but if you read this all the way through:

thank you

PLEASE feel free to let me know if you liked it, or if you didn’t, or any other thoughts about it, really, i would be delighted!

I’ll be back by christmastime with another story, this time based on jugenea (not them irl but their movies) - i would post it now but it’s set on xmas, so i’ll wait - but again, feel free to let me know if that is somehting you would like to read :)

enjoy the last chapter, finger crossed it won’t let you down!

The next morning, Susan stood by the airport gate, Oscar secured into his doggy carrier next to the rest of her luggage.  Her mother, father Joseph and Connor watched over her, some more misty eyed than others, but all quite emotional in their own way.

"Do you have everything?" Mrs. Holbrook asked.

Susan nodded, but her mother didn't listen and fished out a packet of ritz crackers and seltzer water out of her giant purse. "Here. Don't believe what they say. Airplane food is still airplane food, no matter what class you're travelling. This will help you with hunger and the altitude, in case you get sick."

"Darling, she's moving out, not shipping off to war!" her husband exclaimed, before addressing his daughter. "You know I'm not good at this sentimental stuff, but I'm proud of you, and I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble.  Now, go out there and prove me right."

"Thank you. I will." Susan replied, hugging her father on an impetus. In turn, he patted her on the back.

Mrs. Holbrook, at this sight, couldn't help but burst into tears, sobbing into her embroider handkerchief.

"My baby!" she jumped into her daughter's arms. "Re-member to - call. Don't forget - about your poor folks!" she blabbed through sobs, refusing to let go.

“You’re wetting her suit!” her husband said, dragging her away gently and circling his arms around her shoulders. “Come here.”

When it came his turn to say goodbye, Joseph stepped forward, a nervous smile plastered on his face.

“So ...” he began. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I do.” Susan replied. “Thank you for calling Connor.”

“I didn’t know how else to get him here. I hope you’ll forgive my unorthodox methods.”

“You’re speaking to the queen of unorthodox methods. In fact, you don’t even know the half of it.”

Joseph furrowed his brows. “Always been a woman of mystery, uh?”

“It’s part of my charm.” Susan shrugged.

“So, friends?” he extended his hand.

“Yes. Friends.” she shook his hand back, and he dragged her into a quick half-hug.

Hug over, she took the chance to change the subject. “Have you talked to Helen, by chance? I saw her at the party last night.”

“We spoke briefly.”

“Make things right with her. I think she misses you, even if it’s hard for her to admit it. She’s a swell girl, you know? I like her very much.”

“Me too.”

“Good.” she poked him playfully on the shoulder blade. “Then prove it.”

“I hope you’re right.” Joseph replied, looking wistfully into the distance.

“Was I ever wrong?”

“Some things will never change.” Joseph laughed, and Susan joined him. “Have a safe trip.” he then said, said, before kissing her on the cheek and stepping away.

When it came Connor’s turn to say goodbye, the other three decided to give the two lovers some privacy, and sat on a bench a few feet away.

“I wish you could come there with me now.” Susan sighed.

“Me too. But It’s only a couple of weeks. As soon as I sort things out with work and find a place to stay, I’ll be there. What’s that compared to three months, after all?”

“That’s different.” Susan replied. “Before, I thought you’d never come back. Now I’ll count every minute until you do.”

“I’ll call every day. And as soon as I get my ticket, I’ll give you the details.”

Susan nodded, a slight pout on her ruby lips.

“Come here.” Connor said, holding her tight and pressing a kiss on top of her head.

Their interlude didn’t last long, for it was soon interrupted by a feminine voice, announcing final boarding for Susan’s flight.

“That’s me.” Susan said, gathering her bags.

“Alright. So ...” Connor said morosely. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Two weeks” she replied, a little misty eyed.

Then, before Connor could blink, she was already at the boarding door, waving in his direction. He waved back weakly, before she disappeared altogether from his sight.

4 years later …

"Gordon Hewitt ..." the Dean of faculty called in a resounding voice, and Susan tapped her shoes impatiently, watching the fair young man in front of her stepping on the stage, before accepting his diploma and turning the tassel on his left side as per tradition.

"Susan Holbrook ..." she finally heard her name being called, and all she could hear was the pounding of her heart and her heels clacking on the wood.

After she turned took her diploma and turned her tassel, she turned around to face the crowd. Connor and her parents stood by the middle row, slighly off to the left, applauding and smiling proud. Joseph couldn't be there as much as he wish he could've come, but to be fair, he had a pretty good excuse, so she didn't hold it against him. As usual, her mother was wiping tears from her face.

Susan smiled and waved, before winking in Connor's direction, who in turn shook his head, and laughed. Until she got married, or had children, this would be the best day of her life.

* * *

After the ceremony, her parents insisted to treat her and Connor to a british style five o’clock tea in one of the best (and most expensive) tearooms in San Francisco.

"I know this isn't exactly your scene." Susan whispered to Connor as they sat down in the ornate, Victorian style room. "I told them not to go to any trouble, but you know how they are."

"It's alright." He patted her hand under the table. "It's your day."

A waiter soon arrived, and after everyone made their orders, the group fell into an easy conversation.

“So, tell me everything about the baby.” Susan told her mother. “I’m so curious.”

“Joseph didn’t tell me much, he was quite frazzled himself. All I know is, her name is Daisy, she was born yesterday at noon, and she weighs six pounds.”

“How’s Helen?”

“Good. Tough, you can imagine, with two children under the age of four, she won’t sleep for a while.”

“Oh, I must ask her to send us a picture of the children together.” she told Connor. “We haven’t seen little Joey since Christmas.”

“He’s already three feet and half. He’s gonna be tall.” Mr. Holbrook said, as though that was somehow a point of pride.

Finally, their desserts arrived – lemon tart for Connor, chocolate pudding for Susan, coconut cream pie for Mrs. Holbrook, and scones for her husband.

“How’s the pudding?” Connor asked, beginning to dig into his tart.

“Uhm, Are nuts supposed to be in this?”she replied, after a couple of spoonfuls.

“I don’t think so. Why?” her mother asked.

“There’s something crunchy down there.” she wrinkled her nose.

“Dig it up, maybe it’s a cherry.” Connor told her.

Susan inserted her spoon into the glass once again, and lifting it up she couldn’t hide her surprise. “… I don’t think cherries are supposed to sparkle.”

“Well, how did that get in there?” Connor feigned innocence, as Susan picked out the Ruby red ring and cleaned it with a napkin.

“You tell me.” she replied back.

“You said you would think about getting married only after you graduated. So, let’s do it, before you start law school.”

“But – how did you know we would come here … “ she asked before turning towards her parents. “You guys were in on this, weren’t you?”

Her parents merely shrugged, smiling from ear to ear at their cleverness.

“I have to say, mother’s poker face game has seriously improved.”

“So?” Connor asked, quite impatient. “What do you say about a summer wedding?

“Summer’s perfect.” Susan replied, putting the ring on her left finger.

And it really was.

[halfusek]

Still Life (Batim Portal AU)

Chapter One – “An old man walks into an abandoned studio” sounds like a beginning of a bad joke. It is.

Summary: We here at Joey Drew Studios are very, very happy to inform you about a special upcoming event. What shall the event be? Now that’s a surprise, but we can promise plenty of old faces, reunions, party and some real entertainment. And cake!

First chapter: [you’re here]

Next chapter: [coming soon]

✪ ✪ ✪

The taxi driver kept looking at him in the rear view.

And not like looking looking. Not with a bored nor curious peeks every now and then, no, no.

Cautiously glaring. Interested but suspicious.

Weird. Sure, the destination was rather special but here’s the thing. A special destination in a small not-so-special town that’s been there for a very long time? Nothing special about that.

The animation studio surely used to wake some sensation thirty years back (alongside many complaints) but these days… it shouldn’t be anything more than a part of the local ecosystem. It even “grew out” a bit on the outskirts. Never integrated to the rest of the place, as if the streets tried to reach there before but, like roots hitting a stone, changed their directions to literally anywhere else.

To be fair, he too did hit that rock.

Being outside of the cab, Henry Stein took a deep breath of fresh air. Don’t get it wrong, the location was nice. All this nature around.

Still. Anywhere else.

He was glad to have gotten out. The atmosphere started to lay heavily on his shoulders. Even the lack of usual small-talk was off-putting and he wasn’t the most talkative person!

Something clicked and his attention snapped back to the vehicle he just exited. It was the trunk. Seems like the other man won’t be that kind to help him with the suitcase. Not that he would ever demand such a thing but maybe he’s gotten a bit used to it. Especially nowadays, with so many years on his back.

Besides, he knew it wasn’t an act of unkindness.

The driver didn’t want to get out, Henry figured while paying him through the window.

Huh.

“I’m sorry, am I misunderstanding something or did the price for the ride go up compared to what it was before?” he furrowed his eyebrows. It’s been years but he remembered the road from the town’s center to here well. Oh, very well, “It’s as if… the price has doubled?”

The driver had an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He was moving it around with his mouth. Probably wanted to lit it for a while now.

“No, the price’s the same. I already counted for your way back.”

“Ah,” Henry smiled politely, “But you see, I don’t know when I’ll need to get back, so-“

“When I finish my Pall Mall, that’s when,” there was a slight impatient growl behind his voice, “Look, pal, I don’t know what you’re expecting to find there, but this gold ore has been mined to death. You are going to kiss that beautiful door handle goodbye and wait for me to finish my smoke.”

Old animator stared at him, flabbergasted.

Then he stood straight with the polite smile back on his face.

“And I thought I couldn’t believe I’m really going to be back there. Still, I do have a very believable invitation and therefore my request to pay for just one ride stands.”

Loud sigh, shuffle of papers, flicker of a lighter, and Henry, followed by the sound of his suitcase’s wheels, was on his way to the building.

Meanwhile, the man in the cab kept followed him with his eyes, turning away only to let the smoke out of his car.

Had it not been the money, he would have already left the place. But gas had its costs and he didn’t want to waste it on turning around when this crazy old man finally realizes there’s nothing grand there waiting for him and calls for a ride back. Calls him that is, as he was the only ride around here.

Knocking ashes from his cigarette, he looked around. It really was a wild place. Abandoned. The town hall wasn’t even bothering to keep the road in a good condition. It was getting a bit bumpy but not like anyone would care anyway.

Then his gaze went back to the traveler, or more precisely, it landed on the parking lot that the said traveler was walking across.

There weren’t any cars save for rusty few parked close to the entry to the workshop.

Weeds managed to crack through the concrete in many places. No one wiped off the leaves.

In years.

He turned the engine back on.

✪ ✪ ✪

Maybe it was because he was even older, but the old man didn’t seem bothered by those sights. To Henry, what mattered was how different the building looked like in the terms of its size. Just look at that thing! More floors, wings on both sides, surely there were some additions on the other side too.

His hand was on the handle. He took a deep breath.

Not out of fear nor worry.

Excitement. He was back.

Slightly chapped lips formed a big grin.

The driver’s jaw dropped and his cigarette quickly followed through.

✪ ✪ ✪

The door opened.

✪ ✪ ✪

Had Henry turned back, he would notice the terrified expression on the other man’s face. Maybe it would have changed something.

Who knows.

But in this story, Henry has entered Joey Drew Studios once again.

✪ ✪ ✪

What is he seeing? The actual surroundings? All the memories playing in his head that happened around them? Both past and present trying to fit in together in his sight?

What is he feeling? Is it nostalgia? Is it happiness? Is it anxiety? Some kind of blend?

Oh… so familiar and yet so different. He found himself looking with shiny eyes at every little detail he remembered, no matter if it was as important as the logo with wheels still turning around the exact same way they used to when he helped to install them, or if it was as mundane as skirting-boards. And then, such a weird thing, how intimidating the different things were. Again, simple changes, like the new chairs, or something popping the eye right away, like the prizes, the decorations, the reception, the-

And just like that the balance pan favored the side of what’s been making him uneasy.

No one was present at the reception.

Actually, there was nobody at all.

Henry wrinkled his nose and adjusted his glasses, turning around.

Surely someone had to be there. The electricity was on. The wheels were turning. The lights were on.

And the door wasn’t locked.

And the letter-

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper that looked… a bit less neat now that it spent a few hours under his butt.

But what it said remained just as clear.

DEAR MISTER STEIN,

WE HERE AT JOEY DREW STUDIOS ARE VERY, VERY HAPPY TO INFORM YOU ABOUT A SPECIAL UPCOMING EVENT. WHAT SHALL THE EVENT BE? NOW THAT’S A SURPRISE, BUT WE CAN PROMISE PLENTY OF OLD FACES, REUNIONS, PARTY AND SOME REAL ENTERTAINMENT. AND CAKE!

WE HAVE SOMETHING THAT THE WORLD OF ANIMATION REALLY NEEDS TO SEE AND WE WANT YOU TO BE A PART OF IT. BUT FIRST, WE NEED TO SHOW IT TO YOU. THE VETERANS! THE PIONEERS! THE ANIMATORS THAT BROUGHT TO LIFE THINGS WHICH STAGGERED THE IMAGINATION OF MILLIONS! IN FACT WE HAVE A LOT WE NEED TO SHOW YOU. IT’S ALL IN HERE, AT THE OLD WORKSHOP.

WE WOULD BE THRILLED TO BE GRACED WITH YOUR PRESENCE. TREMENDOUS FUN AWAITS!

JOEY DREW STUDIOS

And then addresses and all that stuff. He didn’t make it up. The building looking as if it was working wasn’t made up. None of it was made up!

Then… where were the people that sent him this letter?

He left the suitcase behind the reception’s desk. Just now he realized that he really was (was he?) alone – while he was rereading the invitation, the taxi driver finally took his leave.

Right. The taxi driver. His words. His… behavior…

Henry shook his head. No. Come on. You can’t make this up.

The old man took a few courageous steps towards the corridor. Again, full of new wonders just as of the old grind.

He stopped. There were words written at the end of the hall. In large letters.

In ink.

Blue eyes squinted to read them from this distance.

Oh, it was a banner.

Oh-

He beamed.

Suddenly his steps became a lot more energetic.

At the end of the banner’s message there was an arrow pointing to the right. He followed it.

It read: Surprise this way.

Of course. Ominous but, goddamnit, that was it. It had this energy.

His energy.

He hurried through the next corridor. There were balloons on the sides. Arrows pointing at a door at the very end.

What people are going to be there too? Oh, he would love to see Norman again. Or Sammy, or Wally- actually, why has he not seen them all this time?

Another door handle. He opened them without a care in the world.

And there was no world behind those doors. Or, maybe, a completely new one.

As in – it was really dark in here.

To be honest, now, that he stood there, seemingly all alone, in front of pitch black darkness, he wasn’t feeling so brave no more.

Nonetheless, he took that step forward. He searched for switch.

And there was the light.

Not from the bulb.

There were candles around a circular symbol that he seemed to have stepped into-

All balloons popped. The noise altogether was like a loud crack.

And then it was dark again.

✪ ✪ ✪

His alarm was going off.

Henry groaned as he turned under the sheets. He felt really tired. Why was an alarm set anyway? He wasn’t getting anywhere, must have set that by accident.

His arm lazily reached out of the bed in search for that devilish device. Where is it, where is it…

It was hard to reach with his suit limiting his moves and his glasses knocked askew because of the pressure between his head and the pillow.

Wait-

He fell asleep in his glasses? And clothes?

His hand didn’t reach anything. There was a worrying sense of… nothing.

When you sleep at the same house for years and years without moving the furniture around too much, you get used to things being in their place.

And they weren’t.

Blue eyes snapped right open.

What he saw was a wide room with multiple beds. Each had a cabinet on the side and there were a few shelves with products that looked like medicine, screens, speakers.

There was a camera high up.

Oh, shit. He was at a hospital.

Wait, no.

He slowly got up, massaging one temple with his hand.

No, no, no.

This layout…

He sat on the bed.

…he was still in the studio.

Or rather… he was at the studio. He actually was there. Could have been a dream.

But no.

Finally, his attention went back to the sound of the alarm. It was coming out of a device that resembled a radio more than a clock. He took it into his hands and turned off. Strange technology but wasn’t too hard.

As he was putting it back, the speakers screeched, almost causing him to drop the darn thing.

Then he froze.

“Hello! Joey Drew here! Welcome to the Joey Drew Studios Infirmary! I hope your brief detention there was a pleasant one…”

No. No way.

“If you’re hearing this message, that means all the damage you may have been experienced has been noted/taken care of, and that we can continue on with the work. There’s sure a lot of it to do!”

Henry frantically looked around the room.

Was it some sort of a cruel joke?

“However, before we get back to it, please, keep in mind, that although fun, those activities are your work, alright? And here, at Joey Drew Studios, we work hard. But happy, so to keep that spirit up do follow the guidelines and refrain from-“

The old man jumped in bed as the voice became incomprehensible.

“As always, thank you for participating. You are contributing to this wonderful bosom of creation we call art. Remember, dreams do come true! Now, let’s bring this thing to life!”

Minutes passed as Henry sat in silence after the end of what he realized was a prerecorded message.

He didn’t know what kind of person would make him listen to it but it had to be prerecorded.

Joey died fifteen years ago.

[mystical-flute]

Uncharted Waters 12: My Monsters are Real (And They're Trained How to Kill)

AO3 || Ko-FI

It was supposed to be a normal day.

Yugi had won the tournament, she’d soothed Seto’s ego after his loss, Marik was, apparently, no longer hunting down the items, Mai and Bakura were awake and safe, and the blimp would be en route back to Domino at any moment.

And then the alarms had started blaring.

Two portals had been opened, one in the warehouse district near the docks, and the other at a local park. Kenji and Yume had the agents divided up, orders given to suit up and try to blend in.

Reika had opted for her batons instead of her gun since they were easy to hide under the sleeve of the leather jacket she wore. Her hair was thrown into a messy ponytail, a cloaking device blocking anyone from recognizing her.

She hoped, anyway. There was no telling who may have come through.

“Two at once. You don’t think someone’s managed to co-op our tech, do you?” Aiko asked as they sped through the Domino streets.

Reika was holding onto the door for dear life, Aiko’s tires letting out the worst screeching sound. “No idea. You realize your dad said to blend in, not to go Mad Max on the roads, right?”

“We gotta get there and figure out what happened, don’t we?”

“We aren’t cops, Aiko! We don’t have si- rens !” Reika yelped at a sharp turn, before exhaling in relief when the warehouses came into view. “That’s the one, at the end.”

Because of course , it would be the last warehouse in a parade of sketchy-looking warehouses.

“Weird. It looks like it hasn’t been used in a while,” Aiko remarked, before she spoke into her earpiece. “This is Aiko. Agent Reika and I have made it to the warehouse. We’re beginning our inspection now.”

Reika frowned as she noticed the camera. “This is Reika. Can anyone at headquarters see if the cameras at this warehouse are in use?”

“Doesn’t look that way. The warehouse is supposed to be abandoned,” came the voice on the other end of the line. “Last time any sort of payment was made on it was two years ago. You’re clear for entry.”

It was unnerving how easy it was to gain entry, and after they’d divided up, she found herself wandering the lower level with Aiko.

“This is so weird,” Aiko whispered her gun at the ready. “What is all this stuff?”

Lab equipment was all she could guess. Tables were lined with beakers and test tubes, some containing God-only-knew-what sort of liquid.

“I don’t want to know, but I feel like we should call someone else about it,” she replied as they paused outside another door. “Count of three. One, two, three!”

Aiko kicked in the door.

It was a storage closet containing clean lab equipment.

“Just a storeroom, commander,” Aiko said. “We’re moving on.”

“Copy that.”

They continued down a hallway, and that’s when she heard it. A steady, rhythmic beeping.

“Is that… a heart monitor? Like they use in hospitals?” Reika questioned.

“Sure sounds like it. It’s coming from here…” Aiko said, kicking open the door, gun at the ready before pausing. “Huh. What is that?”

Reika peered into the room and felt the color drain from her face.

“No,” she whispered, edging inside.

“Holy shit, is that a kid ?”

“No…”

“It’s not?”

She ignored Aiko, forcing herself to sprint the distance to the machine. Her hand, shaking, gently rested against the glass as she stared at the figure, and the scream she’d been fighting back ripped from her throat, legs buckling and knees slamming into the hard cement floor below.

Noah Kaiba was floating in the strange, blue liquid, the steady, rhythmic beeping around her confirming her worst fears.

This was a KaibaCorp warehouse.

Noah was here.

Had Leichter known?

Sobs and dry heaves wracked her body as she curled into herself, head pressing into her knees, the world around her vanishing as all she felt was grief, six years worth, pouring onto her hands and spilling onto her lap.

“ - can’t get her to respond. She’s just been sitting there sobbing,” she heard Aiko say as reality slowly came back into focus. “Reika?”

“Huh?”

How long had it been?

“What is going on? Who is that?”

Her hands, still shaking, reached up to wipe the tears from her face as her eyes cleared.

“ That ,” she croaked, her voice strained, “is Noah Kaiba. The biological son of Gozaburo. H - he was in a car accident six years ago… Gozaburo said he was dead ! He told me he was dead !”

Hiro looked at her in concern. “I don’t know why Gozaburo would have said such a thing, because according to these documents… Noah did flatline, but they were able to save him moments later.”

It should have been good news. It should have been one of the best pieces of news she’d heard in her life, but all Reika felt was horror and despair.

“Then why is he here ?” she managed to choke out, her hand slamming against the machine. “Why didn’t he get to grow up?”

“I don’t know. I’m still looking into it.”

Reika held back a sob and tugged at her hair, then frowned when she remembered she’d put her cloaking device in. She tugged it out of her hair and let her natural appearance return. Even if Noah couldn’t see her right now, it felt wrong to not look like herself.

She slowly stood on shaking legs, using Aiko for support. “What now?”

“Now… we figure out what the hell that portal signal was. Someone wanted us here for a reason,” Hiro replied.

“I’ve found the transporter,” Yume said into their earpieces. “I’m gathering the data now.”

“Noah…” she whispered, putting her hand on the pod again. “I’m so sorry. I’m going to get you out of there.”

How? She had no idea, but now that she knew Noah was here, alive, it was only fair that she fought to get him out.

“I found something!” Miho cried from across the room. “Joey and Yugi went into a virtual game with Mokuba, right Reika?”

“Yes?” Reika responded, drawing the word out with dread.

“Noah is in a virtual world too. These papers say Gozaburo designed it after his accident, to protect his body,” Miho explained. “But the project was abandoned five years ago.”

Aiko frowned. “Five years ago? But Noah’s accident was six years ago. Why would Goz - ”

“Because he had a shiny new toy to play with,” Reika whispered, swallowing back another wave of nausea. “He abandoned Noah. Left him here to rot !”

“This is sick…” Hiro said. “We’ve got to get him out of there.”

Reika nodded as her communicator buzzed. “Agent Reika speaking.”

“... Reika?”

The little color that had returned to her face drained from it again. “Roland? How did you get this line?”

“The blimp has been hijacked. Fuguta was shot trying to protect Mr. Kaiba. Before he passed out, he gave this line to me. Which is good because our radio and cell phones are down and -”

“ Roland . Where are you?”

“Roughly fifty miles from Alcatraz.”

Reika moved the communicator away from her mouth, covering the mouthpiece with her hand. “Fuguta is down. He’s been shot,” she whispered, going back to Roland. “Roland, who hijacked the blimp? What happened?”

“It was a boy. He couldn’t have been older than Mokuba. I think they called him Noah.”

Her eyebrows raised as she looked around the room again, blocking the mouthpiece. “Get Yume in here. Now. KaibaCorp’s blimp has been hijacked and her daughter is on board.”

Hiro’s face went white as he began speaking into his device.

“Continue, Roland.”

“He ordered Seto, Mokuba, Yugi, Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, Téa Gardner, and Mai Valentine out of the blimp. When we tried to follow, Fuguta was shot. I don't know what happened after that. What is this device I’m calling you on? Why did you call yourself ‘Agent’?”

“I’ll explain later,” Reika said. “If I need anything else, I’ll contact you.”

Reika had to take deep breaths as she ended the communication. “If the virtual world Noah is in is on KaibaCorp’s servers… and the virtual reality game Seto created is on KaibaCorp’s servers…”

“The Big Five might be involved,” Aiko finished, reading her mind. “Good God, Reika, do you think they would agree to kidnap the people you care about? I mean, didn’t you tell me Leichter was a mentor to you?”

“They did it once before. What’s stopping them from doing it again with who was supposed to be the original heir to KaibaCorp? The KaibaCorp that they wanted?”

AIko didn’t respond.

“Alright, listen up! We don’t have time to waste. Kenji and his team will stay here and look for more information,” Yume said as the squad gathered in the room. “Meanwhile we’re going to go to the KaibaCorp blimp to figure out what happened there. Cloaking devices on. We don’t need everyone to know who we are… Reika, you’re free to leave yours off.”

The coordinates were added to Yume’s teleporter, the deep blue ripping open. One by one, the agents stepped through.

The first thing she noticed was the whimpering girl sitting in one of the pilot’s chairs.

“Hey…” she said softly, kneeling next to her. “What’s your name?”

“S-Serenity.”

Reika smiled. “So you’re the famous Serenity I’ve heard so much about! I’m Reika. I’m Yugi’s cousin. You’re worried about Joey, huh?”

Serenity nodded. “Y-you look worried too.”

“I am. But I’m going to make sure everyone gets back here safely.”

“How?”

Reika smiled, giving Serenity a look of confidence. “I’m going to beat up the bad guys, of course!”

“Hey Serenity, I thought - Reika? How the hell did you get here? Who are you people?” Duke asked, tensing as he took in the strangers.

Yume straightened. “We’re special agents. We’ve received word that KaibaCorp has access to technology it shouldn’t, and when we heard one of our agents was shot, we came to investigate.”

Roland lost what little color he had left in his face. “One of your -”

Another agent stepped forward. “Commander, I’ll stay behind to fill in Roland and check on Fuguta. The rest of you should go and find the kids that were kidnapped.”

Yume nodded. “Very well.”

“I’m coming with you!” Duke suddenly said. “I’m not just going to sit here while my friends get hurt!”

“Me either!” Serenity said, suddenly filled with confidence.

Yume sighed, looking like she expected this. “Fine. We have enough weapons to protect you both should things go south.”

“Wait! You can’t go out there! They have guns attached to the walls! They’re motion activated!” Roland fretted. “If anything happened to Miss Muto, Mr. Kaiba would kill me!”

She was touched at the sentiment and angry that her house of cards was collapsing all at the same time. “Roland,” she said softly. “It’s okay, I promise. Let’s test the guns. See if they’re still operational now that Noah has what he wants.”

Duke had brought Serenity an apple, so they tossed that out of the blimp. When no guns went off, Reika slowly stepped outside as well.

“They’re not operational. Noah must be distracted. Let’s go.”

The agents huddled around Duke and Serenity, and the group made their way into the building, winding their way through the hallways, some agents breaking off to gather information after fighting off the robot guards, before they finally arrived at a large room, filled with pods, not unlike the one Noah was in.

Yugi and the others were inside.

“Joey!” Serenity squeaked, rushing over to his pod.

Duke followed, holding her back. “Serenity, don’t touch it! We don’t know what it does.”

“But we have to get them out of there!”

“We will,” Yume said, though she was trembling as she stared at Téa’s pod. “The question is, how?”

“I’ll go in,” Reika said. “If the Big Five are involved, maybe I can convince them this is a bad idea and they’ll tell me the way out of there.”

Yume sighed. “I don’t like it, but I don’t see what other choice we have. Just be careful, Agent Muto.”

Reika nodded, getting into one of the spare pods and feeling the world fade to black.

She felt a soft pillow under her head and the weight of her batons still hidden in her jacket.

She could smell the barest hint of cigar in the air.

She could see bright lights behind her still-closed eyelids.

She could hear a man with an American southern accent whispering as soft jazz played from a nearby speaker. It was familiar. Comforting.

It was wrong .

Reika’s eyes flew open as she quickly sat up, a wave of dizziness washing over her for a moment when she tried to orient herself.

“Miss Reika.”

She took a deep breath, raising her head and locking eyes with him. “Mr. Leichter.”

“You’re lucky I managed to secure your mind before it got too far in this world,” Leichter chastised. “Otherwise, you’d be in your worst memories. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want you here at all.”

“Did you expect me to not try to stop you once I found out you’d kidnapped people I loved again ?” she questioned.

“You should know by now that people that cross KaibaCorp very rarely get the chance to escape. Your family should not be an exception to the rule. But I can make this world better for you. Anything you want can be yours here,” Leichter said, crossing the room and standing before her.

She rolled her eyes. “Okay then, what I want is for all of us to get out of here. Including you and the rest of the Big Five. I can help you, Leichter.”

Leichter laughed softly and grabbed her chin. “No, Miss Reika. You can’t help me. No one can.”

“That isn’t true. I have friends - ”

“It’s too late for that.” The grip on her chin tightened, and he frowned, considering. “Your eyes are holding so much pain. I’ll protect you though. No more yelling or fighting.”

“What are you talking about?”

Leichter’s eyes seemed to soften, just a touch. “Your parents… then Master Noah… and going to school, was it? Must have been so difficult…”

Why was he questioning her going to school?

Reika felt her pulse quicken as she tried to pull away, to no avail. “Leichter, let go.”

“No, no, Miss Reika. I think I’d like to see some of your happy, happy memories from your time away.”

The office fell away, and for a moment, they stood in darkness.

“So you made it to California okay?” Yugi had asked on the phone.

“Yep! LAX was a nightmare to get through, but I found my guide. I’m unpacking now. You should see it, Yugi. The sun, the sand, the water…”

“We have all of that in Japan.”

She’d laughed. “I know, but it feels… different somehow. It’s probably just the butterflies.”

“So what are you going to do first?”

“You mean after I take a nap?”

Yugi laughed. “Yeah, after that.”

“I dunno. I’ll probably get to know my roommate, or take a walk around campus. It’s huge, so I should get my bearings before classes start.”

“That’s a good idea. I should get to bed. It’s past midnight here.”

“Yeah, get some rest, Yugi. I’ll try to call you later.”

The scenery returned, and it was the I.D.R.A’s base in Loguetown, an apartment above a bakery, with the teleporter hidden in an attic. Large windows faced the sea, and she remembered how she used to watch the ships in her downtime, wondering when she’d find a crew of people she could trust to take her out there with them.

“This is not California, Miss Reika…” Leichter suddenly said. “This isn’t anywhere I’ve ever seen. And you know I’ve been to many countries with Mr. Kaiba.”

Reika said nothing, staring down at the floor.

Leichter grabbed her chin again, forcing her gaze. “Miss Reika, did you hear me?”

“The I.D.R.A is watching. You should be more gentle with me,” she snarled as the room twisted and warped to the deck of the Going Merry.

They were safe. They had managed to escape from Loguetown and no Marines were in sight. The skies had finally cleared too, and it was nothing but peaceful.

“So what do you think so far?” Sanji questioned as she sat with him in the galley. “Any regrets?”

She laughed softly. “It’s certainly a lot to get used to, but no, no regrets. Even if I did have some, wouldn’t it be too late?”

“I’m sure Nami-swan would be able to find an island to drop you off at.”

She wrinkled her nose. “And sit for another month to find someone going to Loguetown? No way! I’m where I need to be.”

“What do you mean?”

Reika paused, sipping at the tea he’d insisted she have. “I mean… I feel like I belong here, on this ship, with you guys. I spent so long feeling trapped and helpless after my parents went missing that it's nice to feel like I belong somewhere, that I can do something to try to find them. You know?”

“I guess,” Sanji said, taking a drag of his cigarette. “It took me a while to feel like I belonged here. I’m just surprised you could leave your aunt behind so easily.”

“Who says it’s easy?” she questioned. “But it’ll be worth it when I can find out what happened to them and give the rest of the family some peace of mind.”

“The I.D.R.A managed to ensnare you. Oh, Miss Reika, I’m so sorry. If I had known, I would have stopped them much sooner!”

She stepped away from him, her arms raised in a defensive position. “Stopped them? They’re the only ones that can find my parents!”

Leichter waved his hand and the world warped, spinning out of control. “I know. I know, that’s the one thing you want in this world. And I will give it to you.”

“Leichter, what are you - ”

The spinning stopped, Leichter vanished, and Reika fell to her knees at what the world had twisted into.

Her childhood bedroom.

“Not here…” she whispered. “Anywhere but here.”

“I told you I would take care of you, Miss Reika. You won’t have any more pain here.”

“Leichter, please !”

“Little star! Can your father and I talk to you?”

“Mama…” she whispered, gasping as her eight-year-old self appeared in the room.

Her parents entered right after. Genji scooped her into his arms, and her younger counterpart laughed, lifting her arms in the air.

“I’m flying!” Little Reika giggled.

“You are!” Miaka said, her laughter joining Reika’s.

Reika’s knees dug into the carpet as she watched the scene. The bedroom was exactly as she remembered it. Purple bed sheets and pillows,, with twinkling fairy lights hanging above it (“Your mother was rightfully convinced you would be born on Tanabata,” Aunt Kumi had told her), her keyboard was against another wall. Shelves of books were near the door, and stuffed animals lined her bed.

“Mr. Kaiba says we get to play for you next week!” Little Reika announced. “We’re gonna play -”

“Shh! We want to be surprised, Reika!” Genji said. “But Mama and I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Miaka smiled. “That’s right. And we’ll make sure to take a video so the rest of the family can watch too!”

“But that’s not all we had to tell you.”

Little Reika looked at them curiously.

“In two weeks, your Mama and I will be going to California for our anniversary, which means you’ll be staying with grandpa for a while. Is that okay?” Genji asked.

No!

“Okay!” Little Reika said. “Will you bring me a present home?”

“Of course we will. We wish we could bring you with us,” Miaka said. “But we’ll tell you all sorts of stories when we get home.”

(She often wondered if lying was as hard for her parents as it was for her)

“We’ll miss you so much, but I’m sure it’ll fly by. I bet grandpa has new games he can show you.”

Little Reika nodded. “Yeah! I like the Capsule Monsters game he showed me last time I was there!”

“You didn’t stop talking about it for a week! I bet you’d kick my butt at it!” Genji said with a wide smile, reaching to tickle her.

(Reika swore she could feel the feather-light touches too)

“Look at the time! I think we should start dinner,” Miaka said, kissing Little Reika’s forehead.

(Th at she felt, and it was a jolt to her system)

Genji lifted Little Reika onto his back, and the trio left the room.

Reika let out a shaking breath. “I don’t have a choice but to follow, do I?” she whispered, to no response.

Right. Azila was safe in the real world.

Heading downstairs, she froze again. Instead of dinner, the scent of pancakes and bacon filled the room.

“Ah, there you are, Reika! I swear, teens today sleep much later than we used to,” Miaka chastised from the table.

She was looking right at Reika. Not through her, not at a specter of a past Reika, but her .

Like this was real.

“I - ” she managed to choke out, her throat dry.

“Drink some juice, sweetheart, you sound half-asleep still,” Genji said as he flipped a pancake.

Reika wordlessly lifted a glass of orange juice to her lips, taking a large gulp. “I’m just really happy to see you.”

“Oh little star, did you have that nightmare where your father and I don’t come home again?”

“I… yeah.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. Your father and I are here to stay .”

Wait, why did that sound wrong?

“But visually, vocally, it would be the same!” Pegasus cried.

“It wouldn’t be them .”

She gripped the glass harder than she’d meant to, and it shattered, the orange juice stinging as it mixed with the tiny cuts now on her hand.

“Oh goodness, let’s get that cleaned up!” Miaka said. While she had her back turned, Reika bolted for the door, and the world began to spin.

Her worst memories? Fine. She could handle that.

She was eight, and her parents never came home.

She was twelve, and her friend was assumed dead.

She was sixteen, and she found out her parents were never in California.

She was eighteen, and she turned herself into a criminal.

The Going Merry was eaten by a whale as soon as they entered the Grand Line.

Nami was ill, terribly so. Vivi thought she might die if they hadn’t found Drum Island.

She was clinging to a sled as it climbed up a mountain, frostbite cutting through her mittens.

(“If I take you up there and your friends don’t come, then what?” Kureha sneered.

“Then you can toss me off the mountain.”)

She was marching through a desert with the crew, the sun beating down on them.

She was thrown from a window, landing in the waters outside the casino.

She was in an alley, Mr. 3 in front of her and ready for a fight.

The clash began as it had before, before she was pinned to the ground, one baton just out of reach of her fingers while the other sat near a trash can.

Mr. 3 was babbling, and then the knife came down, cutting into her chest and shoulder and she screamed out in pain, just like before.

“REIKA!”

That didn’t happen before.

Panic surged through her as she grabbed the baton. “Jupiter’s Storm!” and Mr. 3 was blasted away.

She tried to scramble to her feet, to hide the blood that was dripping down her arm but the pain was too intense, and she found herself unable to move as Yugi and his friends loomed over her.

And the foundation to her house of cards was gone.

“Oh,” she wheezed. “Son of a bitch .”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep10 pt2: Yugi’s Never Ceasing Commute Continues

Last we left off, it was time to eat. Thank you. Thank you, Yugioh. You get me.

Not one of their better spreads, TBH.

No cheese wheels, too. They are truly living in hard times.

(read more under the cut)

Rex and Weevil decided to look for rare cards in the rubble of Arthur Hawkin’s house.

I don’t know why they bothered with this, everything was very clearly exploded and on fire, but youknow, these two just seem to be very hellbent on being bad at life. Just two jokes that are here just to be jokes, wearing these duel disks that they’re not going to use until it’s finally time for them to betray us. Checkov’s jokes.

And I hate to say this but they really are this season’s Bakura.

I know I just said that.

But this show really likes having at least one character that might turn at any moment and stab our protagonist in the back. They like to have at least one at all times there, hovering over Yugi’s oblivious shoulders, with that figurative knife (or literal, in the case of that time when Bakura stabbed himself without nearly any provocation).

In the past, when Bakura was out to lunch, we would have betraying friends like Kaiba, who would go solo in the middle of his own card game and end up throwing everyone in danger, and also Tristan who got full on possessed by the Big 5 and tried to murder everyone, but I guess after 4 seasons they were like “Youknow...I think Kaiba got over it.” and like...you can’t have Rebecca stab us in the back so lets bring Rex and Weevil.

At least their showtime is minimal, because unlike Bakura, who is pretty likeable even when he’s being an asshole, Rex and Weevil never turn off the asshole and are mostly just visual gags stumbling over eachother. Bakura was quite clever and had a bit of depth and mystery, while I don’t think Rex and Weevil are smart enough to even know how to spell mystery.

And if Rex and Weevil end up being good guys and the saviors of the whole show then my sincere apologies, but they are still kind of grating.

Now Rebecca gets a duel monster’s card that has a death threat on it, which is probably the normal way to sign your duel monsters cards in this universe. I imagine every card in Yugi’s deck has a couple death threats on each of them by now. Probably makes them more lucky.

Ya so...

I can forgive this. The people who made this looked at a map of California, forgot that California is roughly the same size as Japan, and were like “I mean, there’s like 50 states, it can’t be that big.”

But here’s the thing about Death Valley. I am a Californian, but I have never been there. This is why.

Death Valley is ASS to get to. Barely anyone lives there. Nothing goes there. You can’t just take a train, you have to drive there by going south past it and then turning around. It’s real round about and just in the middle of nowhere. May as well get there by flying into Las Vegas, and if you are flying into Las Vegas, chances are slim that you will leave that Vacation Town USA to vacation in a literal desert.

Clearly they saw the name “Death Valley” and got super excited but y’all...there’s a reason why we call it that, and everyone who knows about geography or is a Californian is kind of like “um...is Yugi...going to Death Valley???? That city slicker?”

Cuz this is not a normal desert. Normally, a human can survive 3 days without water, in Death Valley you apparently can only survive for 14 hours. It is the lowest point in the US and also the hottest point in the US and the place where the highest temperature was ever recorded on the Earth. And while that heat is only for 5 months of the year...it’s not winter in the show, is it? It’s fairly warm. San Fransisco wasn’t even foggy?

Like even the Death Valley website is like “please don’t leave the main roads and hike during the hot months” because y’all, this park is damn serious. Like this is one of the only National Parks that has not just one, but multiple ghost towns in it.

Don’t get me wrong, Death Valley’s very pretty and very fun I’ve heard, and it has like a very fancy dayspa in it, and if you like geography and like to rough it, then you will absolutely love how freakin weird Death Valley is. So, if you’re safe and know how to pack your gear, you’ll have no problem, but...Y’all, Yugi Muto, who barely survived Pegasus’ island (and only because Mai fed him) is going to just casually go into Death Valley.

In that outfit.

Then, in some barn somewhere (I have NO IDEA where this exchange takes place) Rafael is grilling Arthur only to realize that this is a very pointless conversation.

And in case you forgot Darts exist, he’s still out there, murdering people off for kicks. we’ll just add 20 more to the death count, the internet told me that’s the average amount of people on a fish boat of average size (although sometimes this boat seemed like the size of a shipping container barge but youknow...)

And in case you missed it, I have been doing the death counter wrong so I was 2 people behind--it’s correct now. With the rate this show goes I feel like we might see death 666 eventually. But, yes we did pass 269 so we’ll have to wait another 100, I guess, because it went to some rando on this boat. Nice.

(The highest surface temperature of Death Valley ((not the air, but the ground)) ever recorded, was 201° F.)

(That’s 94° C for those in the back.)

I mean Yugi is part Pharaoh so I guess he just has a strong attraction to really terrible deserts. He’s also half a dead guy so maybe he also just has a strong attraction to being dead.

But I dunno, maybe this is the months of the year where Death Valley is manageable? Maybe? Possibly? We’ll just assume that it is.

Now you can go horseback riding in Death Valley, as you can in any National Park, but it isn’t real normal to ride your horse all the way from San Fransisco. And like you can’t even let your dog off a leash in Death Valley. This is such a bad park for pets!

Also, I found out some fun facts about horse travel, for anyone interested in writing fantasy and wants to know the average speed of a horse.

So a horse can go about 100 miles in a day, but only for one day. If you do 250 miles, the time has to be more spread out since you must recharge your horse. According to some horse-specialist on the internet who does horse marathons from coast to coast, if you have to do 500 miles, then you average about 24 miles a day, accounting for horse-recovery time and assuming it’s a horse that wasn’t bred for super long distances. (this is about a 500 mi horse ride, ps)

The pony express of old, the iconic Wells Fargo, would actually have horse stations along the prairie, where you would trade in your tired horse for a new horse, so that way you would never have to stop going 100 miles in a day. Since Yugi never changed his horse, this ride would have been absolutely ridiculous, and Copernicus the horse, would have stopped somewhere in Gilroy.

But this is a kid’s show so wtv, we’re gonna ignore that.

(reminder that Yugi decided not to unhitch the perfectly serviceable truck and drive away with air conditioning.)

And Yugi really did make Rebecca promise not to tell these much older teens that he took off (something about how he doesn’t want to put more people in danger yada yada, normal Yugi stuff), but the show kind of blames this on Rebecca...but like...she’s 12. This one is on Yugi.

But, if Rebecca were older, maybe she would have done the same thing. Rebecca seems like maybe the type that realizes that when you like an idiot boy, you gotta let them do idiot things, and make idiot mistakes. You can’t just control what your friends do all the time, unlike this crew, which is controlling because that is the only way they keep eachother alive.

So Joey decides to ignore both of the cars right next to him, and just book it to save his stupid ass friend. On foot. To Death Valley. From what the show insisted was just outside San Fransisco.

And I guess that Rafael decided to just let Hawkins go?

Probably because Yugi got on a horse and Rafael was like “of course I know Yugi is chasing me on horseback off the main roads. Of course I know that.” and then he just...let Hawkins walk all the way back...

Hawkins should be dead, but not yet.

So lets check out Death Valley.

So like...again I just think they probably boarded everything and had a rough idea of “America has a bunch of natural canyons, right?” and didn’t realize that the Grand Canyon was soooo far from California.

There are actually canyons in Death Valley but like...I dunno if the art matches that so much? They aren’t nearly as massive as the canyon situation farther East.

Again this was their art choice that they made and it’s...a choice. And they committed to it.

And this bike thing happened?

This tandem bicycle for children lost among the wreckage of Rebecca Hawkin’s home is like a whole “baby shoes, never worn” short story in itself. Rebecca has nooo siblings or parents, right? She has a really old grandpa who is like 80 and doesn’t bike? Just uh...bringing that up...was this tandem bike for her to hang out with Yugi? Does Rebecca even have friends her own age? She already graduated college.

So much inferred by the bike that I know is just here because it’s a funny joke to see Rex and Weevil on a stupid tandem bike.

So I’ve heard about the bike/car/horse paradox before in regards to this season, (it’s one of the few things I knew about this season before going in) so I’m happy to see I’ve recapped enough Yugioh to see it play out.

The paradox being, if Yugi is on horseback, and Rex and Weevil are on a bike, and the rest are in a car, who arrives first?

Apparently the show itself isn’t even sure because Rex and Weevil can keep up with a horse???

Anyway, the correct answer to the paradox is that everyone not in a car is dead for not bringing any water.

Everyone except for Raphael, who probably put a camel pack into each of his shoulder pads.

OH NOW IT’S AN ANIME.

I don’t get why this is happening. But it’s a thing now. Rafael has either literal or metaphoric wings. Bear in mind I thought Pharaoh was Metaphoric for like 14 episodes. These Icarus wings might just be real. Rafael might have been a card this entire time, and I wouldn’t even blink.

Anyway, if this is your first post of mine you’ve seen of this, my apologies, we’re in S4 and this is very confusing. You can read from S1 ep 1 in chrono order by clicking this very handy link here!

[mia-cookie-uwu]

Day 30: Stories

Loop

Warning: This story has death in it

-----

Henry slowly opened his tired brown eyes and stared into the distance of the hall. Carefully he sat up, rubbing his head, feeling a little pain from the last loop. He'd gotten to the lift with Boris but it'd fallen before he was ready and thus, he died again. Now he had to start this all over again, another tally to add to the hundreds he'd already made. He stood up, using the wall for support for his poor tired body. Glancing at his hands he saw that the ink was still on them, as well as a few new scars. With a deep, heavy sigh he began walking. 

"Henry?" Came a voice from behind him. He froze. That voice..it felt like so long since he heard it. The cursed voice of an old friend he wished he'd never come to see. Henry turned around, angry and frustrated. But those feelings suddenly melted away as he was nearly knocked over by a hug. "Henry! Oh good I'm so sorry. I-I was worried about you since you didn't come out so I came to find you but- oh God"

The old friend of Henry's carefully squeezed him, holding him so he couldn't leave. At least not yet. Henry was still for a moment then came back to his senses and pushed the slightly taller man away from him, causing them to fall back onto their ass.

"What are you doing here Joey?" Henry asked as calmly as he could. The urge to punch Joey was very strong but he knew this would be the best time to try and get some long needed answers. "And don't lie to me."

Joey stood up, some ink from his own hands leaving two handprints on the wooden floor. Clearing his throat slightly he began to explain. "As I was saying a second ago, I sent you in and when you didn't come out I started to worry. So I came to find you and well.." he rubs his hands together, looking around nervously. "Interested of finding you I found Bendy, but not the Bendy we made. He was tall, melting, skin and bones somehow." He explained, closing his eyes when he spoke of the ink demon. Of course, Henry already knew this, and so much more. 

"He jumped out from the ink machine room and grabbed me," he put his hands to his neck to show how he was grabbed. "And he squeezed until everything went dark..then I woke up here again. Then I went back to trying to find you and the same thing happened over and over again" the man put his hand over his face, shaking his head a bit. "I didn't know that this was here.." 

Henry frowns. He wasn't sure if what his friend's words were true or a lie. But what he had explained was simpler to his own experience here. "How far have you gotten?" He asked after a minute of silence.

"I've gotten to the door but then I fall and everything goes black again." He answered. "Why? Have far have you gotten?"

"I've reached the end a few times. Of course whatever I do it never works. I just come back to the beginning." 

"Oh.." There was a long silence until Joey suddenly burst into tears, staring Henry.  He'd never really seen Joey cry, at least not like before. He began apologizing profusely to Henry, begging for him to forgive him.

"Joey. Please pull yourself together." He said, putting his hands onto his friends. "We can talk about forgiveness when we get out of here." 

"But, how?" 

"Maybe you and I need to go through this together and fix it. Just like the only times." 

Joey used his cleaner sleeve to wipe his eyes and then gave him a small smile. Henry smiled slightly and let him go, starting to walk. The two men went around the studio, getting the things needed to turn the ink machine on. Have they worked they got talking and then laughing, rekindling what they'd lost so many years ago. It made them both happy, lifting Henry's spirit with hope. Maybe, just maybe they could get out and he could see his family again.

"Alright, that's the last thing." Joey said after pulling the pump switch. "I really hope things work out.." he mumbled as the two left the room. Henry patted his back and gave him a small, reassuring smile. They walked to the bow boarded up doorway and stopped a few steps away. They exchanged looks before slowly walking up to the boards.

At first nothing actually happened. They waited for awhile then Joey hesitantly spoke up. "Maybe he's not here?" He suggested quietly. Henry frowns a little. Something was wrong and he didn't realize what it was until he was grabbed from behind then thrown into the wall. He grunts and collapsed on the floor that was being flooded by ink.

He managed to sit himself up enough to see Bendy slowly cornering Joey up the boards. The man was completely terrified, he could barely even muster up the courage to say words he wanted to speak. "B-Bendy please I'm sor-" he was quickly cut off by the ink demon's hand around his neck. Joey's eyes widened as he was lifted into the air, his way of breathing being cut off by the pressure.

Henry couldn't get up fast enough to save him. The sickening crunch of the man throat and then his last moments of struggling. Then the sound of a body hitting the inky floor below. The one left alive was frozen, staring at the lifeless body of his friend. He felt all that hope get ripped out if his chest as forced himself to stand up. He started running away from the ink demon that began chasing him.

Poor Henry wasn't used to this. In the last few loops Bendy hadn't attacked him like that. He never was able to grab him and Henry was able to get away safely. But this time he could feel the unholy presence of the demon behind him, getting closer and closer until he was able to grab the back of his shirt. He yelped as Bendy pulled him back and them pinned him to the wall by his neck. The demon growled angrily as he moved his face closer. 

Henry kicked his legs around, grabbing the the ink hand holding him. But no matter what he did he couldn't escape. He was going to die and at such an early stage. Henry's brown eyes widened with terror as the demon opened his mouth, revealing the hundreds of sharp, jagged teeth. He barely had time to scream before the pain of being bitten and the blood flowing down from his head. Then it went black.

This time when Henry opened his eyes he sat up quickly and looked around. His head hurt but he didn't really notice it over the sound of his heart beating loudly in his ears. A few tears escaped his eyes as he felt the anger and frustration of his failure boil in his chest. It was so overwhelming he ended up screaming as loud as he could possibly muster. No one heard him of course. He was alone in another loops. He would be trapped here just like everyone who dared to enter. 

Once you enter there is no escape. There is only death, pain, and misery. Maybe someone will be able to break the doomed cycle but it's won't be Henry, or Joey. Or Henry's wife and daughter who enter later in an attempt to find him, taking one of Joey's precious creations with them.

-----------

Oh boy this was fun to write. Now please remember that I am not the best writer but I tried my best here. I even you Google docs to help me out a little. But yes, remember the post for family? Well this is a continuation of that story, place a couple years after that one. Also sorry there isn't any art for today, I thought it be more fun to just stick with the story today. But I hope you enjoyed it! And maybe I'll even make more stuff for this Loop au if y'all want me too uwu

Original by halfusek, story by me

[mamabearlarusso]

Getting My House in Order (Private)

After everything that happened this weekend, I knew I had my work cut out for me. There was so much to do and I didn't know where to start. Six months ago, I moved my stuff from the Master Bedroom to the spare room. (The room Johnny stayed in and--Yes, I know what else happened in there...and no, I don't need the commentary right now.) I also, either donated anything of Daniel's that he left behind or put it in storage for the kids. I even went so far, as to donate both bedroom sets and bought new ones. Those two rooms held some of the strongest memories of what had happened and finally dealing with that, had helped me get my act together and on my way back to a steady work week at the office.

So it stood to reason that tackling another project, might help me figure things out again this time. Being with the same man for nearly twenty years--and in the same house for almost fifteen--there wasn't a corner, nook or cranny that didn't have some memory of him lingering around...the closet door jamb, where he would keep track of the kids' heights...the driveway where Sam fell, when Daniel first taught her how to ride her bike...summer nights on the patio, after the kids were asleep...almost everything in the kitchen, that man loved to cook...and of course the in-home dojo, where he'd spend hours practicing, meditating, teaching Samantha and, well...where Anthony was conceived.

Some things weren't as easy to get rid of, as say a couple of beds and dressers and a few lamps. Some things you were just stuck with, no matter how happy or bittersweet they made you feel, they still hurt from time to time...even now. Then again, a certain couch--that was the diving board to everything going haywire--wasn't too hard to get rid of. At first glance, that is.

Here I was--at the North Hollywood branch, taking care of some squeaky wheels, before they became a problem...and I was stuck spending a half an hour of my lunch break, on the phone trying to find a place to send the couch. The place I usually send things to, was full of donations for the next month--they wouldn't even be able to store it. Then all the other places had age limits on the items they received--no matter the condition the item was kept in.

So, I sat back in my chair and ate my lunch in silence, thinking about my next step, before returning to some squeaky wheels...when the phone rang.

"LaRusso Auto--"

"Yeah, hey, I'm looking for Mandy, uh, she missed her appointment a few days ago...and I'm just checking to see if I need to rundown the usual haunts...you know, to make sure she hasn't fallen in with the wrong crowd again, maybe ran away with a biker named Spike--again!"

*face palm* Yes, I missed my appointment on purpose. No, I wasn't regretting getting it. Working in a tattoo parlor for as long as I had, I learned to never get one for a guy--no matter how long you thought you'd be together, 'forever' wasn't long enough to out last ink in the skin. Although my snake tattoo is connected to and a very strong representation of Johnny, it's more about what he's helped me realize about myself--and not my feelings for him.

So, no I don't have a problem with the tattoo itself, I have a problem with the timing of when I got the tattoo. It was a reminder of the guilt...as long as I didn't go back to get it finished, I wouldn't feel the constant pain for a week, the residual pain of a needle jabbing into me for hours and screaming 'you...selfish...bitch...your...boy...needed...you,' a million times.

*winces* "Hey, Joey, how's the family?"

"Oh, I don't know, Mands. Pops called last Wednesday, to check in--you know, like he usually does--and I had the crazy idea of mentioning that you stopped by the other day. You should have heard the sound of...his...voice. I have no idea, what I'm going to say this week...seeing as I never saw you again. At least now, I can say you're not lying dead in a ditch somewhere!"

*closes eyes and shakes head, wince still firmly in place* "You're really good at laying on the guilt there, aren't you?"

"Looking after almost 900 kids over the last 14 years, you pick up a few things. Who knew worrying about you, all those years ago would come in handy?"

"Wait, nine-hund--you work over at the youth community center, too?"

"Bet you never knew that Pops donated stuff all time...the very second, he found out you were staying there, did you?"

"You're kidding me?"

"Whenever the pool table needs resurfacing...the sound system needs new speakers...the rooms upstairs needs any kind of repairs...and the library always has a steady stream of new books. Remember when the fridge broke down...or that time when you guys went without power for a whole eighteen hours, because of a damn late bill...or the time everyone went to the beach for the day and came back to a freshly painted everything?"

"He did all that?"

"Six months after you aged out, and were finally able to move into your college dorm, he bought the whole building. He gained all those new floors and fixed them up. Eventually, over time all rooms were repurposed for the youth center. More kids ages 18-24, can stay through college and save on room and board on campus, with a few special cases for minors. More of them are going to college with the volunteers here tutoring them and the day kids that can't stay in a room, so they can take the required tests and jump through all those crazy hoops."

"You're shitting me?!"

"Yeah, just called to bullshit on my lunch hour."

"Joey, are you serious?"

"I'm there for a couple hours every day after work, sometimes I bring Vicky and the kids and make some of Mom's best recipes for everyone. You should come by sometime, let the kids see what a success story looks like, twenty--"

"Hey, you shut your mouth. Joey, that's amazing! Seriously!"

"Okay, now...what are we going to do about that little appointment? You having more drama with that Rattles dude?"

"Joeeey, it's not...I know the rules, alright--*huffs and rolls eyes*--big girl, remember?"

"Yeah, and what did I say about big girls?"

"Yeah, well, I'm too busy with work right now to think straight and I still gotta get this--hey, do you think the center could use a new couch?"

"You remember the corner?"

"Oh my god! Tell me they're not all the same couches!"

"Well, no, they've been switched out a couple times and there are rules of course, but it's still used in the same fashion." *faint chuckles heard on the other side of the line*

*contagious giggles* Flashes of a twenty-something Johnny, sitting in the corner with me cross my mind. Remembering a certain picture with long blond locks and a leather jacket, he was definitely my type back then and 'the corner' was definitely a place we'd be. Remembering why I'm getting rid of the couch...I can almost feel my head resting on his arm...his fingers playing with my hair, as we watch Iron Man in the dark...I can't think of a better place for the couch to go. "So, are you saying that you're needing a little upgrade?"

"Sure, if you're offering, we never turn down a donation. If we can't fit it here, we find a place where it will."

"You wouldn't happen to need any patio furniture, would you?"

"We'll find it all a home. If you can wait, I'll have one of the boys come with me on Wednesday and we'll pick it all up for ya."

"Thanks, Joey. You'll probably need to rent a small U-HAUL for it all, though." *tells him the address*

"Damn, Mandy! You sure made good. Now I KNOW what I'm telling Pops, this week."

"Oh shut up. *laughs and rolls eyes* See you, Wednesday, Jojo. Love to Vicky."

"Wednesday. Take care, Mandy."

[aceyanaheim]

What are your Kaiba thoughts for the Send Me a Character ask?

hmm

I’m guessing you mean Seto Kaiba but..imma do all 3 because i can.

Seto Kaiba

First impression

What a BAMF!

( I was a child and very tiny and kinda fairly very bullied and Seto was...well he broke into his own house and jumped out a window. And he could fight. I was sold. I wanted to be like him.) I also sided with him over Yugi on most things...including friendship and speeches.

Impression now

Maaaaaaaaac freakin dork ass curt ass dramatic af  child with anger issues and trauma someone help him someone help him Now.

I also ( obviously) now side with Yugi over Seto on the whole friendship deal. (But I get Seto’s reaction on an almost instinctive level and still love him a lot.)

( Like..dont get it wrong. I poke fun at him because of how much he reminds of me as a kid but...I adore him and I’ll defend him from near anyone. Okay no I won’t because im a coward who goes into fight-or-flight at the mere thought of char-disc-0urse but like still 

I love the kid.  Him good child. Deserves all the happiness and good fortune. I want to see him grow up healthypng.)

Favorite moment

hmm. I haven’t seen him since the show was new so its foggy but..Imma say any time he either shares screen time with Mokuba or snarks at Joey. ( at Joey specifically because oh lord “Mokuba make sure Wheeler’s late” still sends me into a laughing spell. ( mind you I adore Joey too but  uh..yeah. Snarking Seto is best Seto)

Idea for a story

Right now the one I have is a crossover with xmen where Laura Kinney becomes his and Mokuba’s bodyguard. It has ended up becoming 3 separate verses because i couldn’t decide between comic!book Laura and Logan!Laura and also at what time in both their stories I wanted them because I am the opposite of competent and know no hubris.

It’s eking along kinda slow-like tho. Because writing Seto’s hard for me. I feel like a lot of people have done it better already. So I don’t know that it’ll get done.

Also I don’t know how to keep her from killing Pegasus.

I also had an idea for him and Tea becoming friends in like therapy or something but that never kicked off. Although it’s worth mentioning I’d like to explore the concept of what it would take for them to get along.

Unpopular opinion

He’s a good person I guess? I’ve heard that’s unpopular but haven’t seen it. He deserves a shot at a happy life. He’s a good person? He has never ( to my knowledge) been unkind to Mokuba and even if he was being angry in one moment in your life isn’t some kinda morality indicator especially when it comes to children. Especially traumatized to high heaven children who just keep getting traumatized so no Mokuba didn’t “deserve a better brother” or w/e both Seto and Mokuba deserved better period and can people just enjoy the show which is about forgiveness and friendship anyways good golly. 

I mean..yeah I guess I got a few.

 Another one that I think might be unpopular but I don’t know due to not really publicizing it is that Seto and Yugi....actually aren’t that different at the core? Like if you took Seto away from a lot of the Tragic Backstory stuff he might end up..not exactly like Yugi but not that different either. They’d have a lot in common.

Favorite relationship

Him and Mokuba. Hands down.

Favorite headcanon

Ohshoot do i even have one hm. This ask covers a lot of the headcanons I have for him..but I guess my favorite is him liking children followed by the one that he does math equations and formulas when he’s bored.

I also share a lot of the ones @iced-blood has posted due to most of my exposure to the character coming from his fic after I stopped watching the show so a lot of his headcanons are up there too.

Mokuba Kaiba

First impression

He’s adorable. Protect him.

Impression now

He’s adorable and tiny. Protect him.

Favorite moment

Either him in the beginning of the Noah arc since we get to see him know how to operate the computers in KC or when he’s telling Alistair off in Awaken The Dragons

Basically any time he’s not getting captured again for the plot tho.

Idea for a story

I have a couple drabbles based on @kintatsujo‘s age swap AU...and her In The Back Of My Brain AU, alot of her AUS give me ideas actually ( which of course id ask for permission before pursuing)  but nothing concrete.

Oh and the xmen crossover mentioned above.  Mokuba’s a fair share of that since in one of them Laura’s his bodyguard rather than Seto’s. ( in another Gozaburo gets Laura as protection for Seto while still being abusive and they both shake him off. Like I said it’s..it’s splintered into a lot)

Unpopular opinion

I..don’t think I have any? I don’t really know what opinions are popular tbqh. I guess if anything i saw here is then that.

Favorite relationship

Him and Seto. 

Favorite headcanon

His hair’s a liability I speak from experience.

I guess I’m a fan of the shared headcanon that Mokuba wears heelys. I like the idea that he’s not a genius like his brother and maybe he doesn’t get HIgh HIGH grades and maybe that’s okay ( as someone who has a complex relationship with academics I guess thats something I wish i saw more often yknow) because he’s smart in different ways.

I like the idea of Mokuba being athletically inclined like skate boarding or parkour or being involved in some sport at school I mean he roped climbed out a window in his intro episode so its not that outlandish.

I actually don’t have that many headcanons for this kid. I should fix that.

Noah Kaiba

First impression

Yikes. What  a freakin loon. ( first episode) Oh no..he’s lonely and abandoned. Oh no oh no oh no. ( later episodes in the arc) Okay but he’s still a mean dude ( when he turns ppl to stone) Oh no...he died...and he turned around at the last minute WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DONT GET TO SEE HIM AGAIN. ( at the end)

( yeah Noah took kid!Me through the freakin wringer)

Impression now

He was a child. And his father left him to rot. 

He deserved so much better. 

I love him. I cry and screech about him needing things monthly and sometimes weekly. 

Favorite moment

When he turned around to fight Gozaburo. Also the scenes where you see Mokuba getting to him.

Idea for a story

I guess-no I know a lot of people have done it better but I like the idea of a canondivergence where he’s spared and/or rescued by Seto.

I also like the idea of crossovers with shows like Digimon or Code Lyoko where you have digital worlds.

I just don’t want to be alone and i want him to have nice things okay. That’s..that’s all i want..from life.

Unpopular opinion

Probs that he was an actual smol child and got a raw deal and Deserved Better. ( tm) ( you’ll find thats..my beat with a lot of characters ^-^:) 

Favorite relationship

He...doesnt have any? In fics where he gets brought back like Paved With Good Intentions ( specifically Blue Eyes Violet Eyes) I like seeing his relationships with the other Kaibas. But as far as Canon goes...yeah there’s none.

Favorite headcanon

He’s very tactile. He liked running his hands through his dog’s fur and it always got to him that digitized it..wasn’t the same.

Following that he used to be very physically affectionate before Gozaburo started discouraging it.

Following that if he was to be brought out of the digital place/rescued I think he’d be pretty clingy. I mean because of the tactile thing and because..he’d need to reassure himself the world around him is real.  

If he had been allowed to live he’d probably think he didn’t deserve it/that he has to Atone for the stuff he’s done.

His whole world was his father and even when he hated him he loved him. He wanted nothing more than to be held by him again. That’s why the abandonment stung so much, there’s nothing like hating and being hurt by someone you love...and still having a part of you love them. A part of him still wonders what he did to get left behind. That’s a big part of what drove him to the deep end.

Character Asks Meme

[grimelords]

My July playlist is here, just in time for September! Four hours of hits from Lana Del Rey, Iannis Xenakis, KISS, Cameo and everyone in between. Please enjoy.

This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Rey: This is a really underrated Lana song I think. It's such a beautiful song and it's so heartbreaking the way she sings "they were the only friends I ever had". It's like an origin story for her whole thing detailing how she got bitten by a radioactive pabst, I love it.

Walking Into Sunshine (Larry Levan 12" Mix) - Central Line: A powerful good mood song that quickly takes on a vibe shift near the end when he says I've got to do it now, I've got to walk into the sun' which carries a different meaning than 'walk into the sunshine' to me. Embracing positivity versus self immolation in a nuclear furnace.

Fine di Cobb - Stelvio Cipriani: This is the most jamming harpsichord I think I have ever heard. This is from the soundtrack to an italian cop film called Mark il Poliziotto (Mark The Narc) that I found in a spotify playlist called Best Of Eurocrime that I cannot recommend enough. https://open.spotify.com/user/cinevox/playlist/1o3c0Con0ormlKc9r1gqxgSince 

Last Wednesday - Highasakite: Highasakite might be the worst band name I've ever heard and they're so lucky this song is as good as it is that it cancels that out.

Hilary $wank - Joey Bada$$: I was originally just going to post the instrumental of this because the beat it just so, so good. So busy without being cluttered and nicely melodic without clouding the space for the vocals. I also like this song a lot because just by virtue of being so upbeat it escapes the worst parts of a lot of other Joey Bada$$ 'real hip hop' type songs that are going for a throwback vibe but end up just sounding dated.

Girls - Royal Headache: Girls! Think they're too fine for me! Oh Girls! And I'm inclined to agree!

Something To Tell You - Haim: I'm slowly coming around to Haim's second album and I've finally decided it's good actually. I just hope they do a live album or something soon because their songs are so tightly structured that I think it's almost to their detriment, and every live video I've seen of them they really pull them apart and expand them in a nice organic way that just doesn't come through on the album.

Lavender - BadBadNotGood & Kaytranada: I can't tell whether I like this orginal version or the Nightfall remix with Snoop Dogg better, the verses are just regular Snoop but the vocals they put on the chorus are so good I sort of wish there was a third version that was just them with some other rapper.

New Seeds - Boards Of Canada: Realising that the sound at the start of this is extrapolated from mobile phone interference was a shocking moment for me.

Alligator Engine - Hunters & Collectors: Hunters And Collectors early albums where they sounded like the Talking Heads of the Mad Max universe don't get enough respect because of their huge regular sounding hits a few albums later and it's areal shame because this song is pure primal funk.

Fly Like An Eagle - Seal: This is the song that plays on the little muzak speakers in the cryogenic chamber for the four minutes you're still conscious while your body cools to absolute zero. Then you wake up in 400 years still humming it.

Come To Dust - Boards Of Canada: I was having such a huge moment with this album this month and lamenting the imminent end of our favourite earth The Earth, and this is really such a peaceful sort of resolute song right near the end of the album before the real ending of Semena Mertvykh makes you feel like a body dumped in the desert for scientific research into the nature of decomposition.

Kiss You All Over - Millie Jackson: I'm still not sure how I feel about this new Millie Jackson album that's old multitracks re-mixed by Steve Levine. The whole thing sounds kind of whack. What's good however, is when she adlibs "I wanna bite you on the ankles baby" out of nowhere near the end, and then says "on the ankles.. on the kneecaps.." as the song's fading out.

The Sorcerer - Twain: My girlfriend sent me this song and I have no idea where she found it but I love it. As soon as I heard the opening line I was completely hooked. It's such a beautiful and foreboding song that I really can't get a proper read on, I love it.

Men Today - Health: I'm looking for a chrome extension that makes this song play at maximum volume whenever anyone makes a post containing the phrase 'men today'. Huge wall of noise. Bloodthirsty drums. All the dirt owns us now, what we were ends in the ground.

Where Love Lives - Frankie Knuckles: I'm eagerly awaiting the day coming soon that 90s piano house goes from naff to revered and rockets back up the charts.

Nein König Nein - DJ Koze: This is the B side to Seeing Aliens off of DJ Koze's new album and I really love it, mostly for the groove it get into about halfway through, it reminds me of High Fidelity by Daft Punk where it's just chopped to hell and builds these sort of disparate rhythmic cuts into a really melodic frankenstein.

Blush - Leon Vynehall: I think I found this song and the next one by Spotify Radio off of the DJ Koze song above. I got into a real groove at work one day and these two were the best two to come out of it. The bassline/strings melody that centres this whole song is so good and so circular it could feasibly play for two hours and I wouldn't notice.

Last Land - John Talabot: The way the vocal sample just keeps bleeding into itself is hypnotising here, and it's also maybe the best and most unique kick sound I've heard in a long time.

Suzinak - Ross From Friends: I almost feel bad for Ross From Friends because he's making some really amazing music but he's stuck with this dogshit soundcloud name. The Durutti Column sample that forms the basis of this song is really nicely placed without just feeling like a rip-off, but where this song really shines is in the last minute or so where it magically transitions into a crunching guitar driven thing that sounds like it's playing next door.

Canary Yellow - Deafheaven: The most incredible thing about this album is the sense of optimism that pervades it. This isn't a genre that really lends itself to hope or beauty but somehow Deafheaven have captured it in a way I didn't really think possible. It feels like they've expanded the emotional palette of the whole genre with this album, without sacrificing any of what makes it great.

Strutter - Kiss: I had this song stuck in my head the other day, but I'd remembered it wrong and had it mixed up with the chorus of Lovers And Sinners by Dallas Crane. In my version he's saying 'strutter' the way they say 'lovers'. There's an incredible song in there somewhere, but the original is pretty good too.

Lovers And Sinners - Dallas Crane: See above I guess. It's interesting listening to Dallas Crane now as a new generation is reappraising and being inspired by pub rock all over again and somehow the difference between Dallas Crane and Jet versus Bad//Dreems and Peep Tempel couldn't be more pronounced despite their shared roots. Where the former idolises the glamour of a bygone age of rock and roll the latter are reapprorating it in a more directly emotional, less flashy way.

Evryali - Iannis Xenakis: From what I understand from reading the wiki article on this piece this was generated by doing about five different kinds of extreme nerd graph maths and then turning that into music via more maths and when he finally turned up with the completed score it was so fucking stupid it had notes that don't physically exist on a standard piano in it. Now that's rock and roll. It's hard to make sense of this without the context of its composition because it feels incredibly random, but this performance by Stephnos Thomopoulos really brings meaning to the total chaos of it. I think solo piano is such a good medium for generative-type works like this because it feels like the simplest way to see everything happening without the tonal clutter of synthesised or orchestral sounds muddying the already extremely muddy waters.

Easy Way Out - Money For Rope: I love bands with two drummers and Money For Rope really know how to use two drummers, which is simply use them exactly like you would one drummer but pan them left and right so I can hear when they do different fills at the same time and get a thrill. A really good song about killing yourself when you're old(?)

Sophisticated Lady - Art Tatum: I've been having a big Art Tatum phase recently and it's hard to overstate just how much I believe Art Tatum came from another planet to teach us about the piano. He is really and truly from another dimension. So off the charts insanely good at making a whole universe from a simple tune. It's like every single note gets its own full trip around the block before he moves on.

Stay As Sweet As You Are - Art Tatum: This is an absolute odyssey in five minutes. Without ever losing focus, or losing track of the central theme, it's like he takes it apart piece by piece and reassembles it anew every single bar right before your eyes.

No Line On The Horizon - U2: 2000s U2 gets a bad rap, and it's mostly deserved but there's still some very good stuff in there. This song is so good, and so nicely produced it's a real shame that it opens the album that eventually contains Get On Your Boots.

Tools Down - The Presets: Not only is this song great, but they use the exact same synth sound as the one they used for Madeline's voice in Celeste, which has the nice side effect of making it seem like Madeline is singing along to this great song.

Open Sesame (12" Version) - Kool & The Gang: I've definitely put this on my list before but this is probably the best song ever recorded. It's incredible top to bottom for all 9 minutes and never fails to put me in a great mood.

Peril - Martin O'Donnell: I was thinking about the Halo 2 soundtrack and was shocked to remember correctly that this strange Enya knock-off made it into the highest selling game of 2004.

Drumgasm - Weiss/Cameron/Hill: I cannot belive I haven't heard of this album before now. It's Janet Weiss from Sleater-Kinney, Matt Cameron from Pearl Jam and Zach Hill all playing drums for 40 minutes and it's incredible. I would never have expected Weiss and Cameron to be the sort of drummers to do something like this, but they absolutely nail it. The different styles of the three really meld well and they all seem to lead at different times. This album is the sort of thing that seems like it would be extremely exhausting, and probably would be in most circumstances but somehow they pulled it off. It's engaging and for the most part, driven, purposeful music with direction; which is saying a lot for an album of three drummers just going absolutely hard as motherfuckers for most of an hour.

Apollo - St Paul & The Broken Bones: I love this song but the way he sings the first line makes me laugh because it sounds almost exactly like Drew Tarver's Donny Gary character. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9ArjvUUptw and I'm blessed to have this song about reusing mcdonalds cups play in my head every single time I'm in a mcdonalds.

Million Times Alone - Bad//Dreems: This is maybe the best song about working night shift and having depression I've ever heard. The part about sleeping in the day in the bright sun in a boiling hot house is an especially vicious sense memory for me.

Slow Mover - Angie McMahon: My girlfriend showed me this and I absolutely love it. I also feel extremely old because I just googled it and apparently it's an Unearthed song that made the Hottest 100 this year and I didn't even notice. The best approximation I can make of how I feel about this song is the google autocomplete when you google it that goes 'angie mcmagon slow mover meaning?' and the top comment on the Genius page for it that says 'I cried my eyes out when I first heard this song.’

Drop The Bomb (feat. MF DOOM) - YOTA: Youth Of The Apocalypse: This is the new band from the non-Clash guitarist and bassist from Gorillaz, as well as Jamie Reynolds from Klaxons and I'm so glad it exists because the new Gorillaz album was such a snore and this really feels like what it should have been. Somehow it seems Damon Albarn is not the thing that makes Gorillaz great, it's the other guys which is very very strange.

Word Up - Cameo: Mostly thinking about this song because of Carl Tart's extremely good episode of Comedy Bang Bang where he spoke in the cadence of this and the other Cameo song for the whole episode https://www.earwolf.com/episode/word-down/

Lee - Tenacious D: I don't know what's going on but I got into a real Tenacious D thing this month. Thinking deeply about comedy music for some reason. Anyway this song is so much fun and it reminds me of Tony's Theme by Pixies.

Tony's Theme - Pixies: I love the idea of writing a nonsense song about your friend Tony, who you love, to put right in the middle of your otherwise pretty serious alt rock album. If you know any other songs in the genre of Lee and Tony's Theme please reply and tell me them because I think it's really funny genre.

Burning Down The House - Tom Jones & The Cardigans: I woke up one morning with the sound of Tom Jones singing 'strange but not a stranger' in my head and it took me so much googling to find out it was this version of Burning Down The House that I was thinking of, without having heard it in probably ten years. I like that this song is ostensibly a duet but Nina Persson has such a thin voice and Tom Jones is the most powerful man to have ever lived that she's sort of just automatically relegated to backing vocals by default.

Horseshoe Crabs - Hop Along: I heard about this from the Jason Mantzoukas What's In My Bag video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecfWVhz-wyc. I cannot believe how her voice sounds, it's just incredible. The way she sings "baby's heading home" at the start shocked me, it sounds like recordings of three different people cut together. It's just amazing. I already loved this song a lot and then when I looked into it I found out it's about Jackson C. Frank and it made me cry.

Long Wat - Khun Narin: This is another one I got from the Jason Mantzoukas What's In My Bag video, it's a Thai pschedelic street band and it's quite simply the jam of a lifetime.

listen here

[bunnyandberli]

Another long stupid Taylor post

I’m not even going to tag it.  Just going to put it under a read more because I wanted to get these thoughts out.  I’m almost tired of talking about her, but at the same time, there’s just so much about the controversy around her that bothers me, and it also bothers me that it feels like she’s creating a kind of stigma around having a pet channel.

It feels like when people bring up Em, Joey, Jenny, or any other YouTuber that has better care than Taylor, people bring up kind of nitpicky things against these people as well.  No one is saying that these people are perfect, but that they are better examples of care than Taylor is.  The latest thing I’ve seen has involved Emzotic and the wild birds.  She’s getting compared to that time Taylor “rescued” wild turtles.  I feel like Em saying "Don't do what I did" is different from when Taylor does it because most of her viewers are aware of Em’s background.  She's worked with animals for years, and so there is more of an expectation that she knows what she's doing and that her knowledge will go beyond what a  normal viewer has.  I feel like her audience is more composed of people who won't just go out and start trying to save wild birds just because they saw Em do it.  Her viewers know that she has experience with rescuing wild animals, and so I feel like if she says don’t do it, she has an authority that they trust.  It's kind of like how just because I watched Coyote Peterson go get stung by something doesn't mean I'm going to go doing it too.  In my head, he's someone with way more experience doing crazy animal shit and has a way higher pain threshold than I have, so when he says, “This is causing my arm to go numb!!!”, I’ll take his word for it.

But in Taylor's case, we've already seen her fans going out buying exotic animals that she's literally told them will be easy to care for.  Then these people get the animals and find out that they're not easy at all and they end up tweeting her in a panic, only not to get a response from her.  She only ever shows and talks about the glamorous side of owning her animals, and if I recall correctly, her rescuing the turtles from the side of the road only came with the explanation of, "What I just did was bad, mmkay.  Don't do it."  There was nothing really to back up why it was ok for her to do but not anyone else.  That’s the problem.  She makes things like impulse buying exotic animals and rescuing turtles from the side of the road seem like something anyone can do and have it turn out alright.

Over on a certain board, there's someone that keeps going on about Jenny and the discus she used to have.  As far as I remember, Jenny was pretty sure that the parasite that killed her other fish infected the remaining discus that she had and killed them.  There was one discus that died to bullying.  I don't recall her blaming the breeder for it, as this person is claiming, but in the end, she was upfront about the fact that she was NOT an expert discus keeper and that she was still learning.  She was also this upfront about adopting her bunnies, even stating where she got her research from.  

If Taylor was this upfront, I think a lot of us would go a lot easier on her.  The sad truth is that you can read and read and read, but you will never know everything about animal care, especially with so much misinformation out there.   

The difference between Taylor and Jenny is that she is willing to say upfront that she is not an expert, not leaving it for when she’s called out for doing things wrong.  One of the things Jenny says often when she’s giving out information is, “In MY experience” or “From MY research”.  She leaves open the possibility that she could be wrong while explaining why she does what she does.  Taylor does not do that.  Her mantra is, “I know what I’m doing because animals are my full time job” and only cries that she’s not an expert when she’s being called out for the way she makes it seem like she is.

Again, the problem most people have with Taylor is not that we expect her to be perfect, but that it looks like she doesn't do the best she can with the animals that she has and when told that she could do something better, she is most of the time either flippant or dismissive or she has no less than forty people ready to yell at the person about how she knows what she’s doing because it’s her full time job.  

To reiterate, this is not a thing where I’m saying I agree with every single thing that every pet Youtuber who isn’t Taylor does, because it feels like people make that assumption all of the time.  I really, really think that Joey was at fault for Buddy’s death and that he should have taken that wood out of his 2000 immediately after Buddy passed.  I don’t know enough about arowana to say if I’m right, but having four of them in the tank also doesn’t feel right to me.  They seem to be getting along NOW, but they definitely weren’t in the beginning.  Mostly, I watch him because I like his personality, and I like what he’s doing with the aquarium gallery.  If people have valid criticisms of him, I respect that.  I was seeing something about how his arowana(s? Is that the correct pluralization?) aren’t kept in the best conditions.  Stuff like that is important to circulate, but when you get into, “And people donated to him for his fish room and his wife made him choose between his hobby and her and he chose his hobby!” that’s when I tune you out because that isn’t valid criticism of his husbandry.  That’s you being petty.

So I want to end this long thing by saying that no YouTuber is above criticism and no YouTuber should be assumed to have perfect pet care by fans or otherwise.  As I’ve said before, as pet owners, we all make mistakes.  The best of us are the ones who are willing to keep learning from those mistakes and those who want to keep trying to be the best.  Unfortunately, sometimes that does end up in failure and losses.  What I judge by is what a pet person does with the information that they do receive because there’s a huge difference between someone that says, “With all due respect, I appreciate your concern, but in my experience, the way that I do things has always worked out well for me” and someone that shouts at you that they know what they’re doing because this is their job to care for animals and then has their legions of followers attack you.  I can respect a Pet YouTuber who, while maybe the answer is wrong, will at least try to give you an answer and help you more than I can one who sees that they’ve inspired people to get animals they have and who will retweet all the praise they can get from people, but when they ask for help, there’s just silence.  

[trickstercheebs]

The Devils first Sin

more stuff pertaining to @shinyzango‘s 2D Bendy AU after seein some more lovely artwork about consequences to fun powers :V might be a two parter~

and shush i know the titles sounds dubious, im gonna keep the devil pun thing up until it kills me.

After figuring out that his new little ability gave him a lot more chances to help Henry past being a guide on paper, Bendy seemed excited to see what lay in wait in the studio halls for them both. Henry however had some reserves...He still had no idea..how his excited friend’s powers worked..or how he even was alive to begin with. Several theories ran through his mind, bouncing off one another..Black magic seemed to be more favorable..Joey was always a showy sort of person who’d do anything to get what he wanted..But black magic seemed a bit too far even for him..at least that’s what he kept telling himself anyways.

Wandering onwards, Henry idly chatted with Bendy about old times..old cartoons and safer times in the studio. Bendy seemed more than happy to listen to Henry quietly ramble on about his old days as a animator, Henry not minding the trip down memory lane in favor of wondering what the road ahead may hide..

“ So that was how the studios got started..Joey was one heck of a negotiator, which probably got us such a good start..Compared to our first studio this place is the ritz..Heh..well without the random rogue ink creatures anyways.”

“WOW~! I never knew how it all started..It sounded like a bunch of fun Henry really..and without you guys going through all that..I wouldn’t ever be here talking with you and going on this adventure!”

Henry couldn’t help but let out a laugh...yeah this was a adventure alright..Getting trapped in his old studio and chased by sentient ink stains all night..with only a small doodle to keep him company and out of the fire..Honestly he was starting to really care for the goofy little devil, currently sitting on the papers single line staring up at him like some star struck child..Well he couldn’t blame him, it’s not every day you hear how your own existence sort of got started..

And hopefully said adventure would have a happy ending for the both of them..He had already had a few close calls but, at least with Bendy now being able to lend a hand things seemed a bit more brighter. He’d have to figure out a way to possibly bring the little Devil with him..no sense in just leaving him here when all was said and done, that was too cruel of a thought to even consider..Bendy was if not the only person here so far that hadn’t tried to take a chunk out of him, he owed the little ink spot twice already.

“ Yeah... it’s been quite the adventure huh? Glad I got you to back me up at least and help keep me from looking like some giant walking ink stain.”

“Hey! Being a big ink stain isn’t that bad, I think I do a good job of it Henry..Hehehehh~ And don’t worry yourself so much, long as you got me I’ll protect ya from all the spooks big guy!”

Henry watched as the little Devil got up to strike a heroic pose as he spoke..well he was right on some parts..When he wanted to, Bendy could be quite the big ink stain...thankfully a friendly ink stain. He didn’t like having to put the little guy through such a strange process..But Bendy seemed more than capable of handling the load...right?

The duo continued to chat away as Henry picked his way through the dark halls, side stepping the occasional ink puddle and broken floor board with ease. It almost felt like things would improve from here actually, Henry thought right as there came a creaking noise above him..Stopping and eyeing the ceiling warily he noticed several things..There were alot more drips than usual..and the ceiling was taking on a rather..bulging look.

Not bothering to explain he tried to get out of dodge and fast, unfortunately the studio as big as it had become, was about as structurally sound as a house made of cardboard and glue. The low groaning picked back up again, echoing down the hall seconds before a massive fissure gave way, unleashing a massive torrent of ink and lord knows what else to flood eagerly into the floor below and sweep away anything caught in it’s path..namely Henry. Said animator was only a few steps away, trying to find some high ground or a unlocked door..only finding nothing. Seconds before the waves would overtake him he presses the doodle to his chest and prayed he wasn’t about to die by drowning in ink of all things.

“Hang on Bendy I think we’re in for some rough going.”

“Be careful Henry!”

He let out a pained grunt as the first wave slapped into him, curling around and sweeping his footing out from under him. As he was swept away he was dimly aware of other things lurking in the surf with him, brushes of hands against legs and arms told him that he’d have problems soon if he didn’t get to some dry ground, or find another damned pump. Fighting to get back to the surface he managed to get a idea of how bad the situation was..Thankfully the ink had slowed it’s deluge..but now the entire area was nearly waist deep in ink. Coughing as some of the black nonsense got in his mouth, he realized he was once again soaked with the stuff and sighed before slowly wading onwards. Fishing the paper out of its hiding place he frowned seeing it soaked..better to check on the little guy..

“Bendy you alright? This ink isn’t going to be a problem for you is it? We might be stuck like this until I can find a pump station or something....”

Unfortunately what replied wasn’t Bendy..but a low gurgling growl nearby..Oh great, they spotted him already. Hoping Bendy would be alright being drenched a bit longer Henry lifted his axe and got to work thinning the hordes before they got too close to do damage. Trying to move onward and defend himself at the same time was going to prove treacherous. His quiet companion however had decided to lend a hand, the ink soaked paper shook a bit in Henry’s grip, as if the little Devil was asking to be let loose. After the last two times he didn’t see a reason to deny the assistance and let the paper fly free into the ink below.

It was still a bit..startling to see that massive form erupt from something like a piece of paper, Henry would never get over the idea. But he’d certainly welcome the assistance Bendys..monstrous form gave. After all it was still that goofy lil doodle in there, point proven as a massive inky hand patted Henry’s head before Bendy waded into the midst of the strange forms and began bashing away. With his back covered, Henry could now focus on clearing out a path for them both to better grounds.

How much time had passed was uncertain but, judging by the ache starting to set in from swinging his axe about it was a good chunk of time by any standard. But now at least they could proceed without interruptions, turning around he spied Bendy’s massive back still turned to him as the sounds of something being struck reached his ears. Wading a bit closer he tried to reach out for his companion.

“Bendy, I cleared us a way through, c’mon lets get goin- Whoa!”

Henry ducked out of the way as a arm swung out at him haphazardly, just missing his head by a few scant inches. Backing up some he looked up at the other questioningly.

“Watch it there lil guy you almost knocked me for a loop moving like that..c’mon stop horsing around....”

Something wasn’t right..Looking at the other carefully he saw something that made his blood run cold..That usual little twinkle of mischief..of understanding was gone from the others eye. Bendy let out a hoarse growl before trying to make a grab for Henry, proving his fears right. What had happened, he was always able to handle that form before right? He needed to get some space between the two of them..maybe even get him out of the ink. Backing away towards the path he had cleared, he dodged every swipe and punch thrown his way.

“Bendy snap out of it! What’s wrong with you? Did something happen, talk to me, it’s Henry remember?”

Bendy didn’t seem to hear, or to care really who he was now trying to rip apart. The only thing keeping Henry from finding out how hard the Devil could swing was the scant few inches between them. He could feel the ink beginning to recede at last, there were some stairs further up ahead he remembered seeing..if he can get up them he might be able to get to safety and hopefully to a safe spot.

As it turned out, Henry met the stairs a lot sooner than he anticipated, the back of one leg catching a edge and throwing him off balance for a few brief seconds. It was all the monstrous devil needed to catch his elusive prey with a open hand and slam his once friend into the wall beside them, pinning him flush against the old wood with a gasp. Bendys one hand covered most of Henrys torso, effectively keeping him pinned with surprising ease. He couldn’t help but try to struggle free in vain, letting out a soft wheeze of pain as Bendy pressed into him slowly. He could feel his ribs slowly being pushed inwards with every passing second, trying to keep himself grounded he gulped down as much air as he could to try and get through to his now attacker.

“B-Bendy..what’s wrong..? T-this isn’t like you, please Bendy..d..don’t do this.”

He had honestly hoped his words would get through to them, but this wasn’t some cheesy cartoon with happy endings..The dark reality that he might actually die here was setting in at last, he knew it wasn’t Bendy’s fault..Something told him that little Devil wouldn’t hurt him willingly..something about the ink must be the reason..He just wished he knew before this happened. Letting out a harsher keen of agony he weakly grabbed at the hand holding him hostage.

“Ghk...A-alright..guess my..a-adventure here is over huh? Sorry I couldn’t..save you..”

The hulking demon seemed to shift some at that, tossing Henry once more onto dry land and lumbering up to pin him down once more as their remaining free hand took on a sharper edge to finish the job...Henry seeing that his words would have no effect simply closed his eyes and waited for the end to come swiftly. 

“..I forgive you Bendy...it’s gonna be alright..”

If he was about to face his final curtain at the hands of his only friend here..he’d at least go out saying he didn’t hold them responsible for their actions..A sharp pain bit into his cheek...but nothing else came. Cracking open a eye after a few seconds..he saw a change had over taken the Devil standing over him..The almost manic grin had dropped into a distressed grimace as chunks of ink began rapidly breaking off of the others body..Henry felt the pressure on his chest lighten up immediately, with Bendy backing away from him as if touching the man burned him now..

Sitting up he touched his cheek lightly..finding a light cut just across his cheek had begun to bleed...Looking back up he saw that Bendy had collapsed in on himself, the hulking mass of ink breaking apart in heaving shudders..it almost looked like the little Devil was..crying?

“....Bendy? ...Bendy are you ok? Talk to me here..it’s just me, it’s Henry...”

Risking himself he scooted closer toward the shuddering form as it grew smaller and smaller, he could make out the soft choked sobs coming from the other as he reverted back to his original form at last. Henry waited a moment or two before scooping the nearly ruined piece of paper into his hands.. He could just barely make out a small form balled up in the corner shaking softly..Frowning to himself he didn’t say anything for the moment and let the poor doodle be alone to collect himself..

Getting back up to his feet once more, Henry resumed his now quiet venture into the unknown.

[tortie-tales]

Friendship Ch. 2

~The Next Day at School~

The classroom was buzzing with life; students had been instructed to get into small groups to study for tomorrow's test, but most groups just used the free time to chat and mess around.

My group consisted of Tristan and Joey, who insisted he could help us.

"Joey.. are you sure that's right? That doesn't seem right," I said, puzzled. Math was never my strong suit, and I didn't know what I was doing, but I knew that wasn't correct.

"Trust me, (y/n), I know what I'm doing." Joey twirled the expo marker and then tapped on the whiteboard. "This is how you do it."

"You say you know what you're doing, but aren't you failing this class?" Tristan asked, amused. I bursted out laughing.

"What was that, you little punk?" Joey threatened, pointing the marker at Tristan. "If you don't want my help, then fine, but you don't have to make fun of me." he crossed his arms and huffed.

I grabbed the whiteboard and looked at it. "Ok, I don't get any of this, but this still doesn't seem right, no matter how I look at it." I looked at the whiteboard upside down and shook my head.

"That's because it's wrong. You have to multiply by 'x' before you divide by 'y'," a voice said, startling me. I jumped, almost dropping the whiteboard. Joey growled.

I looked behind me. "Who said that??"

"I did. Is your sense of direction as bad as your math skills?" a boy standing next to me said, looking rather cocky.

"Back off, Kaiba," Joey growled.

Oh, so this is Kaiba.

Joey had told me tales of the rich boy, mostly bad ones, but Kaiba was our only hope for passing. My only hope for passing.

"Joey, be nice," I snapped at him, before turning my attention back to Kaiba, "and yes, I do have a very bad sense of direction."

Kaiba hummed and walked away.

"WAIT—" I grabbed his arm "—please don't go. We're hopeless, we have no idea what we're doing. Stay and help? Please?" I smiled, hopeful.

"...fine." he sat down and grabbed the white board. His cheeks were slightly flushed, probably from my sudden outburst.

"Uh-uh, there is NO way I am working in the same group as him!" Joey shouted, dramatically pointing at Kaiba. Luckily for me, most of the class was used to Joey's outbursts by now, so all we got was a few eyerolls and a glare from the teacher.

Kaiba glared at him. Tristan sat there, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Joey, sweet, wonderful Joey."—now Tristan looked scared—"I don't know about you, but I would like to know what the hell is going on in class and actually stand a chance at passing the test, and Kaiba over here so graciously decided he would help us! So I suggest you shut up before I make you." I muttered those last words and glared into his fear-filled eyes to make sure I got my point across.

"Okay," I turned my attention to Kaiba, "how do I solve this problem?"

~Time skip to end of class~

"I get it! I actually get it! I can do math now!!!!" I grabbed Tristan's shoulders and shook him.

"Oookay, (y/n), I get it," Tristan laughed slightly, taking my hands off of his shoulders.

I stood up and slammed my hands on the table. "We should get ice cream! I'm buying!" Joey stopped pouting and cheered. "Alright!" he and Tristan yelled.

"Oh wait no I have the thing today—" I looked at them, watched their expressions fall to disappointment, and winced "—sorry guys. Maybe some other time."

I gathered my things and began packing up my stuff.

"Kaiba, thank you. I mean it. I don't know what magic you used, but you actually helped me understand something in this classroom. That has never happened before. I'll see you around." I smiled at him and walked out of the room.

I walked home, happy to have finally understood something, and soon reached my house.

I opened my phone and texted Mokuba.

(y/n): Should I bring my deck?

That's a dumb question, I thought to myself. Why would I need to bring my deck?

Small Child: Yeah! Can we meet up at my house? I have a lot of homework so Seto won't let me leave :(

(y/n): Sure! Send me your address and I'll head over soon!

Apparently being able to play a children's card game is essential in this world.

That's when I remembered that Mokuba had told me that his brother would like my deck, and I felt stupid.

I grabbed my purse and headed towards the door.

Keys, check. Wallet, check. Phone, check. Ah, I forgot my freaking cards!

I smacked my head and ran back into my room, grabbing my deck and cursing.

~yet another timeskip, brought to you by the common hatred of math~

I got off the bus and walked for a few minutes.

Ding! You have arrived at your destination!

I looked up and saw that I was in front of a mansion. No, a castle. No, an empire.

This place is huge!

I opened my phone and texted Mokuba.

(y/n): Ha ha, very funny. Where do you actually live?

Small Child: Wdym? Did you get lost?

I took a picture of the building in front of me and sent it to him.

Small Child: Hold on.

Hold on for what? A butler to check me in? Seriously, Mokuba, enough with the games.

I stared at my phone, irritated, looked up, and saw Mokuba run out of the house and towards me.

Well shit

"You do not live here. Mokuba, weren't you ever taught that breaking into someone else's home was bad?" I put my hands on my hips and shook my head. "I should have known that you were a hoodlum."

"Come on!" he giggled, and started pulling me towards the mansion. "You have to meet Seto!"

Seto.... I know that name.. Is that off of a movie or something?

He opened the door and pushed me in.

"Mo- Mokuba! I am able to walk on my own! Jesus, child, how much sugar have you had today?" I asked, slightly annoyed. I looked around and was shocked to see Kaiba walking around in sweatpants and a black, turtleneck shirt.

"Seto, this is (y/n). (y/n), this is my big brother, Seto."

[cwdcshows]

Stargirl - S1 E3 - Icle

Honestly, I wasn't nearly as impressed with this episode as the first two episodes.  There were a few decent parts, but the story felt weak and a lot of pointless plot points that felt like something you'd see from an Arrowverse show. The part where Pat took Courtney to the Justice Society headquarters was nice, but that felt like something that should have happened in either the first episode or the second at the latest.  Ditto the ending, when Courtney takes the Justice Society gear to recruit new members; and I don't know how I feel about that either, as it feels a little forced. And what's up with the JSA having giant banners of themselves hanging in their headquarters?  I can buy the villains doing that, but it seems pretty narcissistic of the heroes.

I'm seriously over the trend that happens virtually every new show now to take for fucking ever just to set up the core premise of who the main characters are and what their dynamic is; get to the fucking point.  Maybe I'm to impatient, but I saw nothing wrong with how they used to start a series by using the pilot to layout the framework of the series and then just hit the ground running telling the stories.  Look at the first episode of Buffy, within the first two hours of the series (and let's be honest, "The Harvest" was part two of the pilot) we knew the "sitch" as Buffy would say of who the main characters were and what their deal was.  We met Buffy, Joyce, Giles, Xander, Willow, Cordelia all in the first episode too; plus the big bad of the Master and they still advanced the plot by having the Master try to free himself. Meanwhile, three episodes in it's obvious they're going to make Courtney and the girl who's being harassed and called a "slut" best friends, but Jesus they're dragging that out. And while I applaud Courtney for trying to stick up for her, the dialog felt contrived. Then of course they try to go to the opposite extreme by trying to rush an investment in a new character, just so they can kill them and try to milk some kind of sentiment for an intentional, yet seemingly pointless death.   I fully expect this magic kid (Joey, I think they said his name was) to also befriend Courtney in a Xander-esque capacity (not to lean too hard on the Buffy comparison), but come on, we're supposed to give a shit about this kid getting killed by Icicle just because we saw a couple of scenes of him doing some shitty card tricks (badly); and sharing one scene with the main protagonist?  Let us learn more than his name first; or even just let us be sure his name is in fact Joey if you want us to care when kill him off. And what the hell was up with the level of enthusiasm for this school's talent show?  I think they said something about "regionals" or some bullshit, but come on.  Is this one of those performing arts highs schools?  And if it is, why did Courtney seemed so surprised by everyone being in costume?  Why are they all in costume during the regular school day?  There's need to be in costume all fucking day, rather than change right before your performance; that's what the call time is for.  It's the time ahead of the show during which you get ready. Why were so many students gathering around to watch this lameass card trick?  Who would give a shit?  Are they all stoned?  Did serious no one else, besides the one guy, not see the card Courtney picked, to realize he later picked the wrong card?  Because they absolutely would have called him on screwing up the trick if anyone else had seen. I'm also starting to think the writers have no fucking clue what to do with Courtney's mom.  What was the point of her coming home only to find Pat and Courtney were out?  And why did they choose that exact moment to leave and take a tour of the JSA HQ, when at least Pat knew that what's name would be home before they could possibly get back; to say nothing of his own son. Her being at...whatever that meeting was for city development, seemed random - especially since I either missed it or it wasn't made real clear who Icicle is supposed to be in his public life.  Is he the mayor or something?  Her comment on the community theatre was yet another instance in this episode that seemed random and kind of forced.  And why are these characters, who I can only assume are elected officials, at least in the context of that scene, talking about the community theatre losing money; it's not a fucking subsidiary of a business you own.  Maybe that theatre group is renting space from the city or something, but if they're losing money, that's not really the city's problem, unless they're in a position to support it; and they're not losing money from that fact, unless the theatre group is behind on their rent.  But considering how big of thing the fucking high school talent show is, I'm kind of astounded to hear them suggest their community theatre is losing money.  If they're losing money it's probably because all of the fucking high school students keep renting their costumes and wearing them all day, getting them all sweaty and stained at lunch (theatre rule #12: never eat in costume); and then drop them back off without washing them, so the theatre has to drop a shit ton of money to have all of those costumes drycleaned. But apparently the writers just needed some contrived excuse to show Courtney's mom expressing interest in what's happening in her town to justify her joining whatever board or committee we see her attending later in the episode; rather than just having her say she'd decided to get involved by serving on this committee or whatever, like any normal fucking person would.  And how much you want to bet it's not even the fucking the community theatre board she's joining, but just some random community development committee or something?  Or even who fucking cares?  Because in three episodes they've given her about as character much development as the kid they killed off this week; and I'm not even sure they've mentioned her name.  It seems probable they did, but I'll be damned if I can remember it.  So far the only defining aspect of her character is that she's played by Amy Adams, who is apparently a vampire, seeing as she doesn't appear to have aged in the last 20 years.  We sure as hell haven't been shown anything to show that she and Pat are actually in any kind of romantic or sexual relationship.  I can't even remember if they said they were married.  I think they did, but much like her name, I can't fucking remember. And why did Icicle kill Joey?  What possible purpose did that serve?  He seemed to have an ulterior motive for it, but I'll be damned if I can figure out what it could be, other than naming the community theatre after him and milking people's emotions over that.  But they couldn't even be bothered to draw an association between him and the community theatre to make that make sense. Is Icicle omnipotent, that he can so effortlessly manipulate the environment from a distance?  He can light blow, from wherever the fuck he was, and make the road/bridge ice over in just the right spot? Why would Joey just leap into traffic like that, just to retrieve of his stupid fucking playing cards?  Spend a buck and buy another pack?  A lot of card tricks tend to bend up or even tear their cards, so I'm sure you're regularly buying new decks anyway. Even if the road wasn't suddenly icy, he jumped into oncoming traffic, without a care of any cars heading his way.  It's not like the ice made the car speed up; it just made it harder for the car to stop when some asshole jumps out in front of him. And why should we care that his father is also murdered?  It was obvious from the start that he was probably also a former member of the Injustice Society; and given how hard they leaned into the magic stuff in his introductory scene, it was equally obvious that he possessed real magic.  Yet apart from whipping out his wand, so to speak, we don't actually see him display any real magic.  Nor do they really tell us anything worth knowing about him throughout the rest of the episode; other than he was apparently some elected official.   Was Courtney's mom filling his vacancy?  Was the why Icicle killed him?  Because that just seems round about. And, shock, gasp, the boy Courtney was talking to earlier turns out to be the son of Icicle!  Who could possibly see that coming...other than people watching it with the sound on (and probably a few without sound)?

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Trolling Goalies, All-Star Voting, and Gretzky's Circus Pants

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: Referee Ian Walsh – I appreciate his commitment to still finishing the job when things go bad. If my wifi goes out for six seconds I go back to bed for the rest of the day.

The second star: David Pastrnak is helping – Specifically, he's helping warm up Anton Khudobin, who could not possibly be less interested.

Oh hey, speaking of annoying a goaltender...

The first star: Carter Hart vs. Matteo Ritz – Hart is Canada's starting goalie at this year's World Juniors. "Matteo Ritz," which is clearly a made-up name, is the Swiss backup. Like many players these days, Hart has a superstition about being the last off the ice, but his comes with a twist: Instead of applying only to warmup, he wants to be last off for intermission too. Yes, during games. So the Swiss decided to send Ritz out to mess with him.

Careful readers will note that Hart used the same trick that P.K. Subban pulled off in last week's column, which I think we would all agree can only mean on thing: Carter Hart reads the Grab Bag. What's up Carter!

Needless to say, this is all very dumb. But Canadians are having some fun with it.

Trivial Annoyance of the Week

The NHL announced the results of fan voting for the All-Star Game captains this week. The fans elected Connor McDavid, Steven Stamkos, Alexander Ovechkin and P.K. Subban. Those are solid choices—good players, with a non-zero element of personality mixed in. Nice work, fans.

But there was something missing in the announcement. See if you can spot it.

Yes, they gave us the results of the fan vote…without actually telling us what the vote was. Once again, the league didn't bother sharing the numbers each guy got. That's no surprise, since they didn't release totals throughout the voting process either.

That's not a huge deal—it's just an all-star game, it's not like we're not voting in a head of state here. But it's weird. The All-Star vote is supposed to be a fun thing, and part of the fun is knowing what the races look like.

Which of the four players got the most votes, making him the leading vote-getter across the entire league? Great question, but we don't know. Lightning stars Nikita Kucherov and Steven Stamkos were 1-2 in the Atlantic balloting, but was it a close race, with Kucherov nipping at his teammate's heels the whole way only to fall just short? No idea. Did Sidney Crosby give Ovechkin a run for his money in the Metro? Look, stop asking questions and just buy some neon yellow all-star jerseys.

The NFL doesn't do this. When Le'Veon Bell beats out Tom Brady for the top spot, they want you to know about it. MLB makes a point of marketing how close their races are. The NBA makes everything available in exhausting detail.

But not the NHL. When it comes to marketing all-stars, apparently they know better.

This fits in nicely with the league's habit of withholding information from fans whenever it can. We've been over this plenty of times before. Whether it's a conditional trade or a contract signing or the result of a replay review, the NHL wants you to know as little as possible. It's basically league policy at this point.

But when it comes to that other stuff, you can at least come up with a reason why the league might want to keep fans in the dark. Not a good reason, mind you, but something. Not here. I'm honestly stumped. Why wouldn't you want fans to get into the races?

We can only imagine what's going on behind the scenes. Maybe the races weren't close at all. Maybe fans somewhere were stuffing ballot boxes and the races were ridiculous. Maybe this is the league trying to hand out some sort of punitive payback for the whole John Scott fiasco. Maybe the vote totals are embarrassingly low across the board when compared to other sports.

Or maybe this is just yet another example of a league that doesn't really like its own fans very much, and can't help but take any opportunity it can find to passive-aggressively annoy them. If so, it's far from the most glaring or consequential example we've seen, and no doubt we'll all forget about it quickly enough. It's just odd. Even when the call is an easy one and everyone else is showing them the right answer, the NHL really can't help itself. They'll find a way to mess it up somehow.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Earlier this week I wrote a piece that made a passing reference to Wayne Van Dorp, which made me think man, I need to write an obscure player piece on Wayne Van Dorp. So this week's obscure player is Wayne Van Dorp.

In addition to having a fantastic name, Wayne Van Dorp was a tough guy who took an unusual route to the NHL. Despite managing a decent 22 goals on top of 242 penalty minutes as a junior in 1980-81, he wasn't drafted. So he headed to Holland of all places, spending parts of four years playing pro in the Netherlands while also making appearances in North American minor leagues. That led to a free agent deal with the Buffalo Sabres in 1986, and a trade to Edmonton at the 1987 deadline paved his way to an NHL debut as a 25-year-old. He played a few games for the Oilers, earning a Cup ring in the process, before being dealt to the Penguins in the Paul Coffey trade.

After a few games in Pittsburgh it was back to Buffalo in another trade, but for the second time, he never suited up for the Sabres. Instead it was off to Chicago, where as a 1980s enforcer he put in his mandated service time in the Norris Division. He had his best season as a Blackhawk, playing 61 games and scoring seven goals in 1989-90 while racking up 303 PIM and squaring off with division stalwarts like Bob Probert, Joey Kocur, and Shane Churla. He went to Quebec in the 1990 waiver draft, where he suffered an injury that ultimately ended his NHL career. He'd head to Italy for a season before retiring in 1993.

Van Dorp's Wikipedia page is two paragraphs long, and for some reason one of them is solely about how he "has appeared in hockey blooper tapes fighting Serge Roberge" while in the AHL. I just like how they specify that it was hockey blooper tapes, plural.

I'm assuming the fight in question is this one, which is…fine. It's a good scrap. I'm not sure it's half a-guy's-entire-Wikipedia-page good, but maybe that's why I'm not an editor.

The NHL Actually Got Something Right

OK, we complained about the NHL finding a way to screw up the all-star voting. So let's flip the script and look at the other vote results that were released this week.

As part of the never-ending celebration of the league's 100th anniversary, we had yet another fan vote, this one for history's best uniforms. When the vote was first announced, it was hard not to roll your eyes and assume this was going to turn into another Original Six lovefest, with the rest of the list dominated by current designs because modern fans have no attention span. Instead, we got this:

That's… that's a damn good list. The whole top 25 is here.

We get an Original Six team at No. 1, but that's fine because the Blackhawks uniform is a worthy winner. But then the list veers off into some long-gone classics, like the Whalers, Nordiques, and North Stars. We get appearances by the old school Jets and Flames, and the Gretzky-era Kings. The Golden Knights even show up. All the Original Six teams are in there too, but they don't dominate.

It's not perfect. The Mighty Ducks are a little too high—sorry, 90s kids—and the lack of the old green and red Devils uniforms is inexcusable. But overall, this is a good ranking. For something that seems to have been destined to give people something to get upset and argue over, I can't really find anything to howl about here.

There's also a message here for modern-day uniform designers: Calm down, stop obsessively messing with the piping on the sleeves, and just give us a solid color combination with a logo a kid can draw on his or her pencil case. This isn't complicated, guys. When the Seattle Soundgardens show up in a few years and immediately win the Presidents' Trophy because teams line up to give them 30-goal scorers, they don't need to do it while wearing fourteen shades of puce and a logo designed by M.C. Escher. Simple works.

But yeah, good job NHL fans. And good job NHL for setting this up in a way that clearly got people thinking in the right direction. I'm assuming this is the last of the centennial votes, and if so, the league went out with a job well done.

(Now if only they told us how many votes each uniform got…)

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

Last weekend was New Year's Eve, which means it was quite possibly the anniversary of both the sport's greatest game and the NHL's great moment. The former, of course, is the classic 1975 exhibition showdown between the Canadiens and the Soviet Red Army that's often called the best game ever played.

The latter, as recently voted by NHL fans, is this week's clip.

It's December 31, 1988 and the Penguins are hosting the Devils for a New Year's Eve tilt at the old Igloo. Lemieux is about to do something that nobody has ever done before: Score five goals in five different ways.

Those five ways are, of course, by: Deflecting the puck off a defenseman, King Kong Bundy splashing a goalie, body-checking a referee, executing an NHL 94 one-timer, and by breaking a linesman's brain.

Wait, I'm being told the five ways are actually even strength, powerplay, short-handed, penalty shot and empty net. It's never been done before this game. Also never done before this game: Anyone thinking that "five goals five ways" was a thing.

I'm going to be completely honest with you: There are several better clips of this game available on YouTube, including the league's high-quality version and a fan-made version that's longer and more detailed. This one isn't as good, and doesn't even include all the goals. Why am I using it? Three words: Wayne Gretzky's pants. Stick with me, I've never steered you wrong before.

So we're actually watching something called Great Hockey Moments With Wayne Gretzky, as brought to you by Upper Deck. "You don't just watch the game, you play it!" Um, what? I'm trying to relax on my couch here, Upper Deck, how about you calm down on yelling at me for being lazy?

And there are Wayne Gretzky's pants. Was I wrong? I was not wrong.

Literally everyone dressed like this in the mid-90s, by the way. I'm not throwing stones here.

Gretzky intros the clip, and then we're on to the highlights. They're weirdly out of order here, starting with the hat-trick goal and then moving to the second. That one's my favorite, because it features Mario going one-on-one against a defender. That always resulted in somebody getting humiliated, but this time there's an added bonus: the defender is actually a forward, Aaron Broten. Lemieux used to regularly humiliate Ray Bourque, so you can imagine how this goes for Broten. But at least he tries and doesn't just immediately fall down and start crying, which I think should have resulted in him being awarded the Masterton.

Also, Lemieux ends the play by "accidentally" crushing the goalie. That happened a lot with Mario. At least nobody got kicked in the crotch, Jon Casey mutters bitterly.

They never do show the first goal, which makes sense given it was actually an own goal by the Devils. Instead we skip right to the penalty shot, followed by the empty netter. That one's funny because it came right as time expired, and you can see the linesman get flustered and try to half-heartedly wave off the goal before the referee skates over and tells him to stay in his damn lane.

As mentioned, this was recently voted the greatest moment in NHL history. We, um, all agree that this is not actually a "moment," right? OK, cool, just checking that words still had meaning.

Fun fact: In addition to the five goals, Lemieux added three assists to make this one of only sixteen eight-point games in NHL history. Even more impressive, it was the most ever by a player who had points on every goal scored by his team. That's a record that has to this day have never been matched because I'm pretty sure we all agree that the whole Sam Gagner thing was a glitch in the simulation and never actually happened.

And that wraps it up for five goals five ways. Join us next week when Gretzky one-ups Lemieux by becoming the first player to ever stuff five hockey helmets down the front of his pants.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Trolling Goalies, All-Star Voting, and Gretzky's Circus Pants published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[blaperile]

Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 15: Second Strife + Trophy Room Exploration part 1

Dammit, it's been two weeks since we last had the time to play some more Hiveswap.

Before we started I knew it was going to take a pretty long time, knowing us, but still.

Oh well, no use complaining about it, let's just continue where we stopped last time and continue enjoying it in the same way as always!

After all, last time we just went through some really exciting things, what with exploring the basement and getting our very first strife!

Next up, we were going to see what Joey and Jude have to say to each other. After that, I assume we're going to the trophy room, perhaps immediately going into our next strife? Or is it about time to be Jude for the first time, maybe?

Let's find out!

plainWonder's got a great point that this is a great game to be playing for the upcoming Halloween now, hahaha!

Starting at 8:20 PM now.

Pffffff, I love how Jude's immediately speculating that it wasn't Joey who turned the power back on. And immediately afterwards he's complimenting her on her wilyness, haha.

Hmm, so yeah, Jude's reminding Joey/us that we need to go to the trophy room to get the attic key.

But... how are we going to deal with the problem in there? Another strife comin' up?

I mean... assuming there's a monster inside the trophy room and not something else? Considering the fact that we didn't actually see it and Joey just heard some stuff.

Or maybe we get another distraction before we end up there?

I love the narration when examining the basement door. YOU'RE MORE OF A SNAKE THAN IT IS. XD

Okay, exiting the kitchen and moving on to the trophy room then!

...Oooooohhhhhhh, right! We can now see the living room in the light! Gosh it looks so much less creepier now.

Alright, enough of that. Let's see what happens at the trophy room! Will there be another cutscene?

....A short one!!!

Yup, there's another monster in here! And looks like Joey could enter this time because it was no longer right in front of the door.

God that is a pretty weird looking monster. But a considerably smaller one than the serpent monster and perhaps more easier for Joey to handle!

Oh man, plainWonder's right that the house motif is also in the strife music! That's really cool!

Anyway, now we're getting a way better look at the trophy room!

It actually looks quite a bit smaller (both in length and width) than I expected, when we saw it in the dark!

What caught my attention first is the two katanas. They immediately remind me of Bro's katanas. I wonder why Grandpa had them?

And hey, some actual guns in here! Both in the trophy case in the background, and on display right above the katanas.

Pfff, another clock (on 11:11 of course) with a swinging pendulum.

And of course, one of Grandpa's precious globes! Which, like plainWonder pointed out, have got some pretty weird continents on them. Is it perhaps supposed to be a globe of prehistoric Earth, when the continents where shapped differently or something?

It would be interesting to examine that globe later on.

plainWonder just noticed the fireplace! Heh, just like in the foyer in Jade's home. Fortunately enough, this one doesn't feature a stuffed human corpse in front of it. xD

Nor is there any urn to be seen, like at John's fireplace.

Which brings me back to wondering what happened to Ms. Claire after her death. Did she get a proper burial, perhaps? It would be interesting if we could visit her grave in Hauntswitch or something!

Hey, a chess board! That's an especially interesting thing to notice here, considering how closely Homestuck is linked to chess metaphors. Talking about that chess board... it has no chess pieces? Hmm, that's weird!

My theorizing mind is of course immediately wondering if there's some metaphor to get from this empty chess board, but let's not dwell on this any longer, for now. :P

Aaaaaand of course some more deer trophies. God, this home is going to be one giant hell for Dammek, won't it? xD

Up above, near the ceiling, we've got some more interesting things. A talking fish, a sad-looking bear trophy, another narwhal trophy like in the basement, and... a white bird with a black wing? That last one is especially remarkable, it doesn't really fit in that much with the other trophies.

plainWonder's probably right that it's just a type of bird that has black on top of the wing and white on the bottom, but still.

I can't help but think of the white and black wings of PM and Jack Noir here.

Alright, wow, that's enough examining for now!

Let's get into this strife! And hope Joey is capable of handling this one.

Oh!!!! plainWonder's got a great point that the narration is pointing out that the monster looks HUNGRY! That could be a hint that we need to use the pet treats here! That's a sweet catch and sneaky hint.

Let's first try out some other items then.

Flashlight > Monster: WELP. That didn't work. The puns keep getting me though. xD

Tap shoes > Monster: Yikes! Looks like the monster can roar. That's pretty scary.

Looks like this monster is really good at blocking moves!

Batteries > Monster: I love how that battery slid back all the way to Joey for her to pick up.

All-Season Magic Spice Mix > Monster: Okay, so that doesn't do much either.

I guess it's up to the pet treats then! :D

And maybe doing that will give us a hint on what to do next.

Pet treats > Monster: Yup, he swallowed the treats! ...It didn't really do much though, but it was definitely the right combination, considering that the cursor changed to orange just like last time.

But what do we do next? Do we use the spice mix again, or something else?

...Nope! Not the spice mix.

Let's just try attacking then, with the flashlight, tap shoes, or ballet slippers?

...Huh, none of the above are the correc actions!

Do we need to give it even more pet treats? xD

....We do!!!! I didn't expect that.

So this time Joey didn't throw it right in its mouth, but to the floor. It made the monster move to the right! That's interesting. Maybe plainWonder's right and we're just going to chase the monster outside and shut the door, so we can examine the trophy room?

Pffffff, the target symbol has become a chomping mouth now. IT IS HUNGRY AND WANT MORE FOOD. :mspa:

Oh hey, examining the monster again now gives a different narration! Oh yes, time for dessert, hahaha. I wonder if there was another piece of narration after the first time we used the treats too.

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAA, that was amazing. The monster indeed left the trophy room, and we got a wonderful victory & level-up scene, hahahaha.

The victory music and Joey's pose reminded me of John's victory dance/music after defeating the Imp, hehehe.

I didn't expect the leveling up part! I love how it's a spoof of Echeladders on one hand, and on the other hand also a spoof on stats in other video games where it actually makes you stronger in a way, whereas in Homestuck and now also here in Hiveswap it's mostly an excuse for sillyness, hahaha.

So okay, looks like Joey closed the door after the monster left the room, that was a wise decision. :P

Let's start examining some stuff in here now!

First of all, I just noticed how that knight's arm fell off and is lying on the ground. Anyone else immediately thinking of Jack Noir's missing arm here? xD

Oh wait, totally forgot that Jude and Joey got some more things to say to each other! Let's see. Because yeah, where even IS the attic key in here?

....Pfff, Jude simply refuses to tell where the key is. Wonderful. :P

Where even is Grandpa's desk that Joey's referring to here?

I doubt the key is in the armpit or in the glove of that knight, hehe.

....OH HELL YES. Jack Noir reference secured right there.

Ahahaha, it's a "little out of season" for equipping the armour. And also a little the wrong century, I think. ;)

Batteries && Knight armour ==> My first thought was that this was perhaps referencing those chess creatures on the Battlefield that are loyal to the White Queen and White King, but oh my god, plainWonder's got a far better point that this is probably referencing the Imperial Drones and their loyalty to the Condesce!

Well played, writers. Well played.

Pogs && Knight armour ==> I only realized how funny Pog Epoch sounds after I said it out loud, hahaha.

Cherub Key && Knight armour ==> HMMMMMMMMMMMM... Joey's considering that there might be stuff hidden away inside the armour. Is this a hint that the attic key might be inside the armour after all? That's something to keep in mind.

In any case, none of the other item combinations really hint that we could do something to it. So let's move on then, for now!

...Is it just me or is the narration on the lioness head a reference to B2 Jack? Eye sockets that beckon for something to be inserted into them instead of actual eyes, a head detached from its body? That sounds suspiciously like how B2 Jack got the billiard eyes and how he died in Collide. :P

Batteries/Pogs && Cat head trophy ==> ...Huh, what's Joey going to put inside those sockets? In any case, she didn't insert the batteries nor the pogs, and I doubt she'll insert the pet treats.

...Oh god Joey's going to find some billiard balls in this trophy room somewhere, isn't she?

Cherub Key && Cat head trophy ==> HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... Is this just a sneaky reference to Lord English's connection to both the Cherub motif and the empty eye sockets that got filled up? Or is this hinting that Joey's going to insert something red and something green in here (red and green billiard ball???).

Anyway, this mysterious note looks like a good place to finish for tonight. Getting pretty tired here, and it's 9:30 PM already.

Next time we'll explore the rest of the trophy room, find something to put in those eyesockets of the cat head trophy if we're "lucky" (D:), and perhaps find the attic key.