#noah is like WHAT DO YOU WANT!!! WHAT IS WRONG NOW!!?

[violettssims]

Noah and Micael spend their first few days at Chestnut Ridge caring for their new babygirl Silver and training their stallion Blue for agility and jumping competitions 🫶🏻

[studioeisa]

the final defense of the dying 🥀 jeonghan x reader.

jeonghan has escorted twelve tributes to their deaths. he will do everything in his power to make sure you don’t face the same fate.

🥀 pairing. hunger games mentor!jeonghan x tribute!reader. 🥀 word count. 13.1k. 🥀 genres. alternate universe: non-idol, alternate universe: hunger games. heavy angst, action, friendship, romance. 🥀 includes. minors do not interact. minor character deaths; hunger games-typical depictions of blood, gore, violence; themes of ptsd, sex work; sexual content; mentions of food, alcohol. childhood best friends, jeonghan yearns :(, cameos of svt members. 🥀 footnotes. this is part of the angst olympics collaboration. i did say this would be above 5k. a direct hit for @diamonddaze01, and for everyone who soldiered through sunrise on the reaping. my masterlist 🎵 doomsday, lizzy mcalpine. meet me in the woods, lord huron. growing sideways, noah kahan. we hug now, sydney rose. no light, no light, florence + the machine. without you without them, boygenius. the prophecy, taylor swift.

I. YOON JEONGHAN, THE FRIEND. 

Jeonghan’s nightmares always start the same. 

The middles and the endings vary. If he’s lucky, he doesn’t have to suffer through an entire run of his Games. If he’s unlucky, he wakes up gasping for breath like he had his head dunked underwater the entire evening. 

It always opens with the sprawling fields of District 11.

The very lands he had once thought to be so commanding. On his first train ride to the Capitol—when he was being sent out like a pig for slaughter—he knew, even then, that the sight was one to behold. Bountiful orchards, fruit trees in full bloom, tilled land as far as the eye could see.

When he sees them in his nightmares, there is always something wrong. An infestation. A wildfire. His loved ones, spilling blood all over the hay. 

Tonight, it’s you.

Jeonghan’s subconscious is caught off-guard. It’s not the first time he’s dreamt of you, after all. And so he thinks it’s going to be pleasant, thinks he’s going to enjoy some ethereal adventure. 

But then you open your mouth and nothing comes out. Not your sweet voice. Not your call of Hannie. Your face contorts, twists, like you’re in pain. It’s the very last expression Jeonghan would ever want to see on your face. 

He tries to reach you. He takes a couple of paces forward. He breaks out into a run. But the fields stretch, and stretch, and stretch, and all the while, you stare straight at him with that soundless look of terror. 

Jeonghan wakes with his chest heaving. 

It takes him thirty seconds to realize he had been dreaming. It takes him another five minutes to clamber out of bed, unsteady on his feet as he makes his way to the en suite bathroom. 

Here, in the Victor’s Village, it’s only him. And he doesn’t mean that in the sense that he has no living relatives to stay in this big, empty house with him. He means it in the sense that he’s the only district’s Victor, the only one to have come back alive after 73 iterations of the Games. It had its advantages.

Being all alone means nobody can hear Jeonghan when he screams. When he sits in the tub, head between his knees, and screams until his voice is hoarse. 

He chalks up the eerie dream to what awaits him later in the day. The reaping looms over him like a storm cloud, but there’s also a silver lining he holds on to as he goes through his morning routine. It’s morbid. It’s cruel. He would never admit it to anyone. 

For once, Jeonghan is looking forward to the reaping. 

On average, the reaping was considered the worst day for any district. An annual lottery that decided who would be sent off to participate in that year’s Games. Behind New Year’s, Reaping Day was the second-most likely day for people to get drunk. 

Today was your last. 

The last day you had to have your name in the bowl. The last reaping you would have to endure. 

You and Jeonghan were twelve when your names first got added into the mix. When he came back from his Games, he made sure you would never have to apply for tesserae—a year’s worth of grain and oil. He was richer than the gods, anyway, with all his winnings. And who else would he share it with but you? 

So, in your final year, there are still only seven slips of paper with your name on it. 

Jeonghan likes your chances. 

The reaping kicks off at around three in the afternoon. Obligations keep Jeonghan away from sneaking out to find you, but he knows where to look once the ceremony begins. You’re in the roped-off area of the town square, towards the front where all the older eligibles await their fate.

Jeonghan doesn’t bother to hide the fact he’s staring, that he’s waiting for you to look his way. Almost willing it, even, and he can sense your vexation from the stage where he’s forced to stand. 

You finally look up at him. For a moment, he sees the face in his dream. The one screaming.

It passes like a mirage, leaving your familiar expression of exasperation. 

Stop, you mouth, trying to look somewhat stern. Failing. (A corner of your lip has twitched upward.) 

He raises one shoulder in a shrug. Can’t help it, he mouths back, the knot in his chest loosening ever so slightly.

For the first time that day, he feels like he can breathe. 

The mayor steps forward to recite the history of the founding of Panem. The Dark Days brought upon by the uprising, the Treaty of Treason that institutionalized the Games. There’s a measly attempt to discuss the spoils and riches that come with winning, but nobody is convinced. Not when there’s still only a solitary victor on stage. 

“District 11’s victors,” the mayor rasps. This part is required reading, has been included in the program for the past six years. “Yoon Jeonghan, the 66th Hunger Games.” 

There’s a smatter of polite applause. Jeonghan offers the gathered crowd a small nod in acknowledgement, but nothing more. 

The list ends there. 

The district’s escort since gods-knows-when moves up to the microphone. Bauble lived up to her name; she was a stout, shimmery thing embellished in absurd shades of gold and glitter. You once told Jeonghan that her voice was like a coin in a tin can, and he’s been unable to unhear it ever since. 

She waxes poetics about the honor of being a tribute. Jeonghan tunes it out, focuses on staring straight ahead. He wonders, briefly, what he should have for dinner. 

Bauble steps towards the glass bowl containing hundreds of folded pieces of paper. Hundreds. Some have their names in there on twenty-something slips. 

Not you. You only have seven. Seven, because Jeonghan had made sure to keep the odds as low as possible.

“Ladies first,” Bauble warbles. 

And perhaps that’s Jeonghan’s first mistake—that he does not worry. 

He’s so sure, so certain, riding on the high of this reaping being your final one. His mind is already halfway into next week, into the special brand of kindness you afford him in the aftermath of the Games.

You were always a little softer to him whenever he came home from the bloodbath. A consolation, he had thought during his first year as a mentor. Perverse as it is, he soaked it all up. 

The nights you’d spend at his home in the Victor’s Village. The cooked meals and the reassuring touches. The words you’d murmur whenever he woke up from his nightmares; your sweet nothings of you did what you could and no one blames you and it was just a dream, Hannie, you’re safe here. 

He’s thinking of those, of you.

And so he nearly misses the way Bauble calls out your name. 

The very name he had shrieked as a child when the two of you played games in the corn fields and rice paddies. The very name he had murmured soundlessly while he was delirious and sick in his own arena. (The thought of you, the only thing that kept him alive.) 

It’s your name, but everybody in the crowd—from the farmers to the ranchers to the Peacekeepers, even—know you as something else. 

Jeonghan’s darling. Jeonghan’s sweetheart. 

The love of his life, now sentenced to die. 

He can feel it. The tangible shift in the air. 

The camera trying to get a tight shot of his face. The probing eyes, all flickering between you and Jeonghan like the district doesn’t know who to focus on.

You may be the reaped, but the slip of paper in Bauble’s hand has condemned you both. 

Jeonghan doesn’t give anyone the satisfaction of a reaction

He watches, tight-lipped and steely-eyed, as you move through the crowd like a summer breeze. You don’t look towards him. A small grace. 

You take your place on the stage. Bauble—ignorant as ever of the tension that has rippled through the district—flashes you a toothy smile. 

“Lovely,” she sing-songs. Jeonghan barely resists the urge to tear the escort’s wig off. 

She moves over to the boys’ fishing bowl and pulls out a name. It’s some rancher’s son, someone who got a little cocky about the amount of tesserae they thought they could get. He stumbles forward from the back row of eligibles, which means he’s young. Probably only thirteen or so. 

Jeonghan doesn’t dwell on it it. He’s too busy holding his hands behind his back, his nails digging into his palms in a way that will leave crescent-shaped marks. 

“Ladies and gentleman, join me in welcoming the District 11 tributes of the 73rd Hunger Games!” Bauble trills.

During Reaping Day, there is already barely any applause or cheers. Why would anyone celebrate when Jeonghan was still the only one to have come back after all these decades? 

Today, though, it’s silent as a tomb. 

Bauble looks like she’s at a loss. A quiet district doesn’t make for good television. “And may the odds be ever in their favor,” she’s saying hastily, but her words patter off when it begins. 

A low hum. Somebody from the back of the crowd starts it up, and then the rows follow suit one after the other.

People are always angry in District 11.

The days are long and the work is hard. The sun is unforgiving; the labor, unjustified. And so the people have learned to sing, have taken to music so they could bear the strife. The two of you grew up to hymns in the fields, ballads on birthdays— 

Songs at funerals. Grief shared in rumbling baritones, in lyrics passed down from one generation to another. 

The weeping women begin to croon.

The fields whisper low where the tall corn sways, Calling your name in the hush of the days. Summer was golden, but frost’s moving in, Taking the bright ones again and again.

It’s a song as old as time, an honor as recognizable as the three-fingered salute. Jeonghan dares to steal a glance at you. You’re clutching the male tribute to your side, and your jaw is set with defiance. 

The sun kissed your brow as you worked through the rows, Hands stained with labor, a heart no one knows. Now they have sent you where none should be sent, Leaving us hollow, our backs tired and bent.

Your parents. Gods, your parents. Jeonghan’s gaze skips over the crowd as he tries to find them. There’s so many, too many people. He’s a little grateful he can’t locate them. He wouldn’t know what to do if he saw the looks on their faces. 

Back when the two of you had been playmates, your father had always teased Jeonghan about bringing you home before the sun set. Jeonghan had been so diligent, had never failed your father once, but now. 

But now. 

Gone like the harvest, gone with the wind, Taken too soon, though your roots ran deep in.

The earth holds your footsteps, the sky holds your name, But nothing will ever grow quite the same.

Bauble is getting restless. The mayor keeps throwing helpless glances at Jeonghan. He stares straight ahead. He has no plans of interrupting. Not this. Not when it’s for you.   

In the corner of his eye, he can see you mouthing along to the words. In his honest, unbiased opinion, you were one of the district’s best singers. It kills him that no one will hear you, no one can hear you, as you give what may be your last performance for the people that have raised you. 

The song crescendos. Dozens of voices, furious as the storms that rampaged through Panem and left the district on its knees. 

Let the wheat bow, let the vines grieve, Let the rain fall for all we believe. If we had a choice, if we had a say, Not one of our own would be taken away.

Jeonghan hopes the Capitol cameramen are getting this, even though they’ll probably cut the broadcast. A district united in its sorrow is a dangerous one, and Jeonghan will pay a small price for letting it happen. 

He will pay an even heftier price for singing along. 

His tone has always been a bit on the nasally side, but the years have made it sweeter, sharper. He doesn’t have to pitch his voice particularly loud. The people see his mouth forming the words, see the way he joins in on the last chorus.

Gone like the harvest, gone with the wind, Taken too soon, though your roots ran deep in. The earth holds your footsteps, the sky holds your name—

But nothing will ever grow quite the same, he finishes, and then he finally looks towards you. 

II. YOON JEONGHAN, THE VICTOR. 

It had been his first reaping. 

His name, in the bowl only once. His cousins had told him it was unlikely. You had reassured him it would not be him, although his concern, even then, had been that it might be you. 

He had been basking in the relief of the female tribute not being you—instead being a wine-maker’s daughter—that he didn’t immediately register the fact his name had come out of Bauble’s gold-painted lips. 

Twelve-year-old Yoon Jeonghan. District 11’s male tribute for the 66th Hunger Games. 

You had screamed bloody murder. He remembers that. He remembers you running forward; you had always been quick on your feet. 

You reached Jeonghan just in time to give him a bone-crushing hug, to babble something helpless like Come back, swear it, before you were shoved down into the asphalt by the nearest Peacekeeper. 

Jeonghan had felt rage, then. Felt like he could win the Games solely based on the fact the violence had chipped one of your teeth and bruised your cheek. 

He had to be dragged kicking and screaming onto stage, had to be placed next to the female tribute who looked sick at the thought of heading into the bloodbath with a literal child. 

Cherry. That had been her name. Jeonghan remembers finding it ironic, because she smelled more like grapes. 

He had tucked away most of his memories of the pre-Games activities, or maybe the trauma had them blurring all together. The lack of victors for District 11 meant that his mentors had been pooled from other districts.

There was District 3’s Beetee, who won the 34th Hunger Games after electrocuting the Career pack. There was District 6’s Maeve, who accidentally won the 44th Hunger Games despite being high on morphling the entire time. 

Maeve trained Cherry. It didn’t do Cherry much good. 

Beetee trained Jeonghan. The man had been critical, clinical. He pitied Jeonghan, though. Any time Beetee seemed to remember Jeonghan was only twelve, the victor would stutter and wince. 

Jeonghan had hated that the most. That he was the youngest in the pool of tributes. That the Capitol citizens looked at him like he already had one foot in the grave. 

A part of him wants to say spite got him to win. A desire to prove himself, to break the record previously held by fourteen-year-old Finnick Odair. 

Jeonghan put on a good show. He charmed interviewers. He got a six as his training score after depicting particular adeptness at knife-throwing. 

It didn’t matter. None of it did. 

Going into the Games, Jeonghan’s morning long odds had been 60-1.

His arena had smelled of petrichor and blood.

Jeonghan blinked against the sudden glare of daylight as the plate elevated him into a clearing wreathed by towering trees. A canopy loomed above like a watchful eye, dappling the forest floor with fractured sunlight. The Cornucopia gleamed gold and monstrous at the center of the glade, its curved mouth yawning open with the promise of tools and terror. 

Around him, the other tributes emerged, silhouettes sharpening into figures with each second. They looked older. Meaner.

Cherry had been across from him, eyes wide and frantic. Her hands trembled at her sides. She wasn’t looking at the weapons. She was looking at him.

Jeonghan shook his head once. A warning.

The gong sounded, and he sprinted. 

The chaos unfurled behind him like a wave of shrieking metal. The sound of a throat being opened. Of someone crying for their mother. 

Jeonghan didn’t look back.

His legs were short, but fear lent him speed. He vaulted a moss-slicked log, ducked beneath hanging vines, tore through underbrush until his lungs burned.

He only collapsed hours later, curled beneath the roots of a colossal tree, his palms raw, his clothes stained with dirt and sweat. He couldn’t stop shaking. Not from cold but from the weight of it all.

Cherry hadn’t made it. 

He had heard her scream. High and shrill, cut short in the way all Capitol broadcasts made sure to capture. He had paused only briefly—just enough to register the voice—before running again.

It wasn’t supposed to be her. She was older, stronger.

Maeve had spent hours coaching her on traps and close combat. Cherry had taken to it well. 

Jeonghan was the joke. The child. The one who should have been first to go.

He curled tighter under the roots, pulling fallen leaves around his body like armor. Beetee’s voice floated back to him: Observe. Hide. Let the others thin themselves out. You are not stronger. You must be smarter. Use their confidence against them.

Jeonghan’s fingers had closed around a flat, smooth rock. He didn’t throw it, just held it, letting the weight steady him. 

That first night, the sky lit up with eight sepia faces. Cherry’s was among them. 

Jeonghan didn’t cry. He thought he might never stop if he started.

Instead, he thought of you. 

He told himself he wouldn’t die. Not until he saw you again. Not until he returned what the Peacekeepers took from your smile.

He slept with his back to the tree, one hand on the rock. Waiting. Listening.

Still alive.

Jeonghan stayed alive for 17 more days.

The arena was built to punish the reckless. A tropical forest that seemed quiet until it wasn't. The humidity sapped your strength. The mutant insects bit through your resolve. The rains flooded low ground without warning. Those who didn't know how to climb or swim were the first to go.

Jeonghan didn’t fight. Not at first.

He moved at night, listened more than he spoke, and memorized the rhythms of the forest. He watched the Careers from a distance as they slaughtered each other over dwindling supplies. He learned to tell which fruits made your stomach turn and which bark bled drinkable water.

He clung to Beetee’s instructions like a lifeline. 

Lay traps when you can. Scavenge. Never sleep in the same place twice.

And always—always—keep your district token close.

His token had been something from you. A woven bracelet you’d made him one summer, years ago. Red thread with a tiny, smooth seed sewn into the knot.

You had called it lucky. He had scoffed. 

In the arena, he held it every night like it might bring him back.

On day five, a small package drifted from the sky. Inside: a single strip of dried meat, a roll of gauze, and a note.

Keep going, little ghost.

He never did find out who sent it. Maybe someone who liked the way he vanished into the trees. Maybe someone who liked the tears he didn’t shed when Cherry’s face lit up the sky. He wasn’t sure it mattered. 

What mattered was that someone out there believed he might make it.

The days had bled together. He trapped a squirrel on day six. Found a dead tribute’s knife on day nine. Avoided a firestorm on day 11 by diving into a mudflat. He never got cocky. Never came close to the Cornucopia again. When the number of faces diminished in the sky—ten, then seven, then five—he started to dream of home.

When there were three left, he knew he would have to kill.

He hated himself for what he planned. Hated the way he sharpened his knife in the moonlight and hummed your favorite songs like it might somehow remind him of his innocence. 

That very innocence, shattered the moment he found himself face to face with the last of the Games. 

The forest burned on the morning of the final day.

The Gamemakers had set it ablaze from all corners. No more hiding. No more waiting. They were starving for a finale. The audience wanted blood.

Jeonghan emerged coughing, soot streaked on his cheeks. His hair, once so pale and soft, clung to his forehead, sweat-slicked and singed. He stumbled out into a clearing he had once used as a water source, now parched and cracked from the heat.

Two others waited.

Cassian, District 2. Large, broad-shouldered, trained from the cradle.

Rueya, District 5. Slender, fast, clever. She had a twitch in her jaw when she was calculating.

They turned to look at him like he was a hallucination. A demon from the woods.

“You made it?” Rueya asked, her voice hoarse.

Cassian just laughed. “Twelve-year-old freak.”

Jeonghan said nothing. He adjusted his grip on the knife. His fingers trembled, but not from fear.

He was remembering.

You, shouting at him for winning hide-and-seek again. Your face scrunched in disbelief when you couldn’t find him for an hour. How the others accused him of cheating.

He hadn’t cheated. He had just watched. Paid attention. Remembered where shadows fell and what cracked underfoot.

He remembered you throwing stones at him one summer afternoon, not out of hate but frustration, yelling, You ruin every game, Yoon Jeonghan!

Maybe he did.

Rueya had struck first.

Her blade aimed for his neck. He ducked. Rolled. Kicked dust in her eyes and used the moment to run. Not far. Just enough to get them to follow.

He was small. Quick. He led them where he needed them to go. Past the tree with the false trunk. Past the buried snare he had laid on day fourteen.

Cassian tripped it. Went down hard. 

A branch spiked through his thigh.

Jeonghan didn’t look back.

Rueya was faster.

She caught up by the riverbed, cornered him. Her knife was longer. Her reach, better. He bled from a shallow cut on his cheek and another on his shoulder.

Rueya lunged. Jeonghan pivoted, let her momentum carry her too far. 

She stumbled. He didn’t. 

Without a moment of hesitation, he slammed the heel of his hand into her nose. The crunch was sickening. She dropped her remaining blade to instinctively hold her nose, howling, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Those would be her last words.

When Jeonghan had staggered back into the clearing, Cassian was still alive, but barely. He had been dragging himself forward, face pale with pain. He looked up, eyes glassy. 

"You—cheating little shit—"

Jeonghan’s knife sliced through the air and landed squarely over Cassian’s left breast. Where his heart might have been, if he had one. 

The bracelet, your bracelet, blood-soaked and fraying, glinted when Jeonghan was lifted into the hovercraft. 

He had been shaking, his left ear ringing from the blow he hadn’t seen coming. His knee was swelling. Both injuries never quite recovered; later in life, Jeonghan would still hear best on his right side and always walk with a slight limp. 

But then, in that moment, Jeonghan had been alive. In the arena where smoke was curling up in the sky. In the hovercraft where he was deemed dehydrated, underweight, and on the brink of death himself. 

You always win, you had once tearfully seethed when he kicked your ass in Duck, Duck, Goose. You always win these stupid games!

III. YOON JEONGHAN, THE LOVER. 

He hears your footsteps before he sees you.

They echo down the corridor of the train like they always have, steady and sure and just a touch impatient. Jeonghan already knows it’s you; he doesn’t look up. 

He keeps his gaze fixed on the swirling ice in his untouched glass of Capitol liquor, something pale and sharp that burns in his nose more than it ever will in his throat. A good number of victors had succumbed to alcoholism, but he always had you to talk him away from the bottle. 

Today was no exception. 

The door creaks open.

“Bauble sent me,” you say, even as Jeonghan focuses on the drink in front of him. Your voice is clipped, professional. Not unkind. “She said you need to prep us.”

He doesn’t answer right away. He swirls his drink, then sets it down with a dull clink. The ice has barely melted. “Prep yourselves. I’m not your babysitter.”

There’s a beat. “You are, actually,” you say matter-of-factly. “That’s literally your job.”

“Then I’m off-duty,” he snips.  

The car smells like expensive polish and expensive drink and Jeonghan’s expensive silence. You don’t move. He can feel you watching him.

“Are you going to be like this the entire time?”

“Like what.”

“Like a jackass.”

That finally earns you a glance. He turns to look at you, and gods, it nearly kills him.

Your arms are crossed, shoulders squared, mouth set in that stubborn little line he knows by heart. You’re trying not to tremble. 

He forces himself to look away.

“You’re angry,” you say, quieter now.

“Shouldn’t I be?”

“I’m the one who got reaped.”

“Exactly.”

It shuts you up. For a second. Just a second.

Then you walk forward and sit beside him. Not across from him. Beside him. So close he can smell the faint traces of that soap you always used, the one that reminds him of lemon trees, wet earth, and the sun. 

“You’re not mad at me,” you say delicately. “You’re scared.”

He doesn’t say anything.

“You’re terrified, Hannie. You think you’re going to lose me.”

His grip tightens around the glass until the ice shifts, clinks.

“You think you already have,” you murmur.

Something crumbles in him then. He doesn’t cry, doesn’t scream, doesn’t shatter. He just sighs again—longer this time—and sets the glass down gently. It’s an acquiescence, an acknowledgement. 

“Come on,” you say, standing. You offer a hand. “Let’s go. My partner’s probably trying to figure out how to hold a fork.”

Jeonghan only stares at your hand for a moment. He doesn’t want to fall victim to preemptive nostalgia, but he does anyway. His gaze traces over the lines on your palm, the dirt underneath your fingernails, and he thinks of all the things you’ve done. All the things you have yet to do. 

You flex your fingers wordlessly, urging him. He lets you tug him up, almost all the way to the door—

—and then his hand pulls you back.

Not roughly. Not urgently.

But when his arms circle your waist, he leans forward like a man caving to gravity. He presses his forehead to your shoulder. Doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t need to.

You let him hold you.

Because this is Jeonghan, and this might be the last time he ever gets to.

You card your fingers through his hair. He stays absolutely still, as if he can keep the two of you in this snow globe of a movement if he doesn’t move an inch. The seconds stretch into minutes, and he pulls away only when there’s a knock on the car door. Bauble, this time, eyeing the two of you like she knows something. 

She doesn’t know a thing, obviously. 

Back in the dining car, Jeonghan leans against the polished wood paneling, arms crossed. The smell of Capitol-grade roast duck and syrupy wine thickens in the air. He watches the way Barley picks at his food like it might bite back, eyes darting from plate to window to the unfamiliar silverware. 

You’re sitting straighter, trying to model bravery, but Jeonghan’s known you too long. He sees the tremors in your hands and fights the urge to reach for you. 

“So,” Jeonghan says, and the word is brittle, sharp. “You both get one question each. Make it count.”

Barley frowns. He’s all knees and elbows, a thirteen-year-old with a summer tan and a coffin waiting for him at home. “How long do you think I’ll last?”

Jeonghan doesn’t sugarcoat. “Depends. You follow instructions, you might last longer than an hour,” he says. 

Barley blanches. You shoot Jeonghan a look.

“He’s scared,” you say pointedly. 

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow. “He should be.”

Your voice is steady, though your eyes aren’t. “Then tell us what to expect,” you say.

He exhales through his nose, tilting his head like he’s heard this request a thousand times—and he has. But not from you. Not like this.

The annoyance coating your words isn’t amiss to him, either. It brings him a perverse sense of comfort. 

“You’ll be hungry. You’ll be hunted,” he says slowly. “And you’ll be alone, even when you’re not. Trust no one. Run the second the gong sounds. Don’t stop until your legs give out. And for the love of all things holy, don’t look back."

Barley is pale now, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Did it hurt? When they—when they came for you?”

For a second, Jeonghan sees it all again. Cherry’s panicked expression, the glint of Rueya’s blade, the snarl on Cassian’s face. He has to blink the memories away, has to focus on the fact you’re watching like you already know he’s going under. 

Jeonghan clears his throat. “All of it hurt.”

Bauble waltzes in, then. “There you all are!” she chirps. “Oh, Jeonghan, you simply mustn’t hide my victors-to-be away like this. What if someone needs a morale boost?”

Jeonghan deadpans, “Morale died when you called her name.”

Bauble clicks her tongue, unfazed. While Jeonghan wouldn’t necessarily call the escort his friend, they did have a certain rapport built over years of sanctioned bonding. “Still so dramatic,” she tuts. “You’ve always had such flair.”

“You mean trauma.”

“You say tomato—” she flutters her fingers.

You smile faintly. Jeonghan sees it, the corners of your lips tugging upward despite everything. It’s too soft. Too real. It guts him.

When Bauble finally prances away to inspect dinner settings, when Barley decides he might as well spend his last few hours enjoying the pleasantries of the Capitol, Jeonghan shifts closer to you.

“You’ve always listened too well,” he says. “Even when I didn’t want you to.”

You look up. “I thought that was the point. To listen when no one else does.”

He tries to scoff, but it comes out too fond. He remembers every time you sat beside him in the fields, every time your hands were gentle when he woke screaming, every time you pretended he was still human.

He leans forward, lowering his voice. “You’re smart.”

“I learned from the best.” 

Jeonghan watches you, the defiance in your posture warring with the fear you don’t want him to see. He can’t fix any of it. He knows that. But he can give you this—this small, ridiculous moment.

“You know,” he says slowly, “Barley’s too small for the Capitol tuxedos. You’re gonna have to teach him how to fake confidence. Smile like you’re selling poison as perfume.”

You laugh, short and tired. “And what about me?”

Jeonghan’s smile falters. Softens.

“You… just be you. That’ll be enough.” He pushes off the wall, straightens up. “Come on. I’ll give you a tour of the train.”

You start to move past him, but his hand finds your wrist, halting you. He doesn’t speak. Just tugs gently until you step into his arms.

He holds you like it’s the last thing tethering him to earth. Like letting go means losing everything.

“Just… hold on,” he says quietly as he slots his fingers through the spaces of yours. Usually, you told him off when he got too clingy or touchy. You weren’t together or anything, after all, and so you demanded that he be more conservative. That he reel himself in. 

For once, you let him.

For once, he lets himself.

He holds your hand the entire way to the Capitol, where it’s a blur of color and shine. 

For a moment, even with the dread curling tight in his stomach, Jeonghan finds himself admiring the splendor. He isn’t surprised to see you and Barley equally speechless, craning your necks as the train pulls into the station; your faces, framed in the tall, sterile windows mirroring your awe back at you.

Barley presses his hand against the glass, wide-eyed. “Is that... a moving sidewalk?” he breathes. 

Jeonghan doesn’t answer. He’s too busy cataloging every flinch, every blink, every breath the two of you take. Watching the way you stand slightly in front of Barley, like you’re already trying to shield him from whatever came next.

Jeonghan loves you so much at that moment. 

Bauble is chattering beside you, of course, gesturing wildly with one hand. She barely notices when Jeonghan steps between you and a Capitol attendant, his hand curling lightly around your arm.

“Stay close,” he says below his breath.

You look up at him and nod. The ease of which you trust him, the lack of questions you have, nearly bowls him over. He sticks by your side the entire way to the Tribute Tower, where the apartment is all sleek marble and warm gold accents. Impossibly high ceilings and digital fireplaces that don’t throw any heat. There’s fresh fruit on the tables and beds the size of entire haylofts. It looks more like a presidential suite than a prison.

“Holy shit,” you whisper under your breath, fingers grazing the frame of an oil painting taller than you. Barley finds the snack cart and marvels over a slice of something custard-filled.

Jeonghan hovers. He can’t stop himself. Not when you were somewhere the Capitol could get its claws in you.

When the time comes for the Tribute Parade, he’s still on edge. Still worried the stylist team will do their jobs too well, while also simultaneously dreading them not doing enough. 

District 11 had always had a reputation for agricultural simplicity, which the Capitol liked to glamorize with varying degrees of taste. This year, apparently, they’d gone for mythical harvest gods. You’re draped in molten gold and deep, forest green, your arms dusted with shimmer like pollen. A long cloak of woven vines trails behind you, the ends studded with jewels shaped like pomegranate seeds and tiny bushels of wheat.

Barley dons something similar; a shorter tunic with a circlet of laurel around his head, a wooden staff in his grip that sparks gently with gold.

Jeonghan doesn’t know what to say when you step out from the dressing area.

He swallows hard. He had seen every horror the Games had to offer. But this—seeing you, radiant and ready for slaughter—is the cruelest thing.

You raise an eyebrow at him. “I look ridiculous, don’t I?”

He shakes his head. Tries to say something. Fails. It’s a far cry from the practical, utilitarian clothing the two of you have grown up with. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you wear something so glamorous, and the thought of it only makes him want to run and hide. 

“Hannie?” you prod. 

He gets it together. 

“You look—” He clears his throat. His voice goes imperceptibly softer. “You look like something no one should be allowed to destroy.”

You don’t know what to say to that. Maybe you don’t have to. After a quick glance around the backstage—to ensure nobody is looking—you reach out, give his arm a comforting squeeze. 

He knows he’s doing everything wrong. It’s your Parade, your Games. He’s supposed to be holding himself better, supposed to be the one offering you reassurance and solace. Instead, you’ve taken up your typical caretaker role, and he falls apart at the mere sight of you. 

When the chariots roll out and the cameras turn, Jeonghan has to stand just out of frame, mouth tight, hands clenched. The crowds react to you and Barley. Jeonghan hears none of it. 

Instead, he keeps his head slightly bowed; his gaze, away from all the other tributes who will all have a kill-or-be-killed mentality. 

Maybe if he wishes hard enough, Jeonghan thinks, he can stop the Games before they even begin.

IV. YOON JEONGHAN, THE MENTOR. 

Jeonghan stands at the head of the training room, arms crossed, jaw tight. From this angle, he can see both you and Barley moving between stations. You’re focused, determined, adjusting the way you grip the rope at the knot-tying corner. Barley, less so. He keeps fumbling, looking over his shoulder for approval.

It should’ve been easy, this mentorship. He’d won. He knew what it took. He could recite Beetee’s advice in his sleep, every trick he’d used in his own Games carved into his memory like tally marks. 

And yet, his throat burns and his hands won’t stop shaking.

He’s going to lose you.

The thought returns like a hammer strike. Over and over. No matter how hard he tries to bury it. Jeonghan drags his fingernails down the length of his arm as if pain might chase it away. He’s fairly sure he’ll have gashes by the time this week is over. 

You approach without warning, your face sweaty from training, your eyes sharp.

“You can’t keep looking at me like that,” you tell him. 

“Like what?” 

“Like you’ve already got a gravestone for me in some plot back home.” 

Jeonghan barks out a laugh—a surprised, hollow one. Your dry humor always did know how to cut through him. “I’m not doing that,” he snipes. 

“You are. You haven’t looked at Barley once without wincing. You flinch every time I handle a knife. You’re not helping. You’re scaring us.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder,” you say simply. “You’re Yoon Jeonghan. You survived at twelve. You have to be stronger than this.”

He turns away from you. You didn’t know—couldn’t know—what it’s been like. Watching years of reapings, standing on the same stage, seeing child after child go off to die while he stood there, the only victor District 11 had to offer. 

Every year, he makes himself hope. Every year, he trains them, watches the light in their eyes go dim as they were outmatched, outarmed, outplayed.

Every year, he fails.

He had never cried for them. Not once. Had never allowed himself to grieve. It was easier that way. To believe he’d done all he could. That they were always going to die, with or without him.

But not you.

You, who used to sneak into his house when he came home, just to leave honey cakes on the windowsill. You, who sang lullabies to him when the nightmares got so bad he couldn’t sleep. You, who had always seen him not as a victor, not as a killer, but just—

Jeonghan.

He turns back around and finds you still standing there, stubborn and unflinching. He lets out a breath.

“Okay,” he says hoarsely. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

Your shoulders relax slightly.

“I won’t flinch anymore,” he promises. “I won’t wince. I won’t look away. I’ll train you.” 

“Good,” you say, “because you’re our final defense, and you’ve been a pretty shitty defense so far.” 

He laughs. For once, it’s not forced. 

You, of all people, know just how much Jeonghan’s word means. He drums up support with prospective sponsors. He talks with the victors and tries to find alliances. 

He teaches Barley how to hold an arrow. He watches you throw knives and shouts out instructions. 

By the time your private training sessions come around, Jeonghan is fairly sure he’s never done this much work as a mentor in the past couple of years. As you and Barley get ready to face the Gamemakers, there is only one thing left for him to do: trust that everything you’ve learned will not fail you. 

The scores come in just after dinner, during a quiet lull where the four of you—Jeonghan, you, Barley, and Bauble—sit in the quarters, feigning calm over cups of Capitol-brewed tea. The screen crackles to life, and the room stills.

There’s an introduction. A reminder of why this is all done. Capitol citizens are given an idea of who to bet on based on the scores ascribed to each tribute. The private training sessions were a matter of who could put on the best show, but not too good. 

Score low, you would lose out on sponsors. Score high, you would be deemed a threat by other tributes. 

Scores range from one to twelve. The Careers, unsurprisingly, get nines and tens. The girl from Four gets a ten. The boy from Nine gets a four. 

And then it’s District 11. Your face flashes first. A moment’s silence. Then: eight.

Barley is the first to react. “An eight?” he breathes, nearly sloshing his tea. “That’s... that’s good, right? That’s really good, isn’t it?”

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything. Not yet. He’s staring at the number, willing it to hold still, like it might evaporate if he looks away.

Then Barley’s face appears on the screen. Six.

“Hey!” Barley exclaims, grinning at you. “We didn’t do half-bad!”

You laugh quietly, nerves still wound tight beneath your skin. “Guess not.” You glance at Jeonghan, whose brow is furrowed as if the numbers have personally offended him.

“Not half-bad?” you repeat to Jeonghan, as if urging him to confirm or deny your odds. 

He snaps out of his haze. “It’s good,” he says, but his voice is tight. “It’s good. You both did well.”

Barley’s too thrilled to notice the tension. He retreats into a quiet hum of excitement, and Jeonghan watches him go to his room, heart aching at how young he still is.

You stay behind. You know better.

“He’s proud of his six,” you say softly. “You should be proud of us, too.”

Jeonghan finally meets your gaze. “What did you do?”

You shrug, but your eyes are shining. “Used a sickle. Told them I’d only ever used it on weeds, not people. Then showed them I could take the heads off three practice dummies in under ten seconds.”

He stares.

“Okay, maybe eight seconds,” you admit with a sheepish grin. “But still.”

“Gods,” he mutters. “Why would you tell me that?”

You tilt your head. “Because I need you to believe I have a shot.”

Jeonghan presses his fingers against his eyelids. Eight. A real shot. That’s what it means. But the Capitol loves nothing more than raising hope just to snuff it out.

And so he tries not to feel hopeful. He tries.

“I’ll be ready,” you say, your voice pure as the driven snow. “You made sure of that.”

He exhales slowly. He has to believe it. For your sake. And Barley’s. And for the twelve other faces in his head, the ones he couldn’t save. He opens his eyes and looks straight at you. 

“Just keep doing what you did today,” he says. “And I’ll do the rest.”

He does what he can, but there is only so much he can do. 

By the time the pre-Games interviews come around, he knows you will have to write your own ending. Even in the viewing room where Jeonghan sits with Bauble and a glass of untouched wine, it feels like every bulb is trained on the screen, on you.

He hasn’t breathed since your name was announced. He probably won’t breathe until your interview is over.

Barley’s had gone well. Nothing to call home about. He had been your typical young tribute, showing off boyish charm and vouchsafed innocence. 

You, on the other hand, look devastating.

The prep team had broken their backs to make it work. Your outfit—woven in silks dyed the color of ripening wheat, dotted with reddish sequins like the leaves from trees—catches the light with every small movement. Your hair is twisted back in a braid like the reapers wear during harvest. And your smile, shy but steady, is enough to hush even Caesar Flickerman.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he croons, gesturing with flair, “from District 11, please welcome our stunning tribute!”

You walk forward, gracious and poised. Jeonghan clenches his fists in his lap. It feels like every step you take toward that stage is a step further away from him.

“Good evening,” Caesar says. “You’re quite the sight tonight. The Capitol is enraptured already!”

You laugh lightly. “It’s not every day someone from my district gets to wear something this fine. I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.”

Jeonghan flinches. He knows that tone—modest, self-deprecating, practiced. You’re playing your part. He just wishes you didn’t have to.

Caesar chuckles, his teeth gleaming. A shark, ready to draw blood.  “Now, I’ve heard you’re quite the singer. Is that true?”

“Depends on who you ask,” you reply, to the laughter of the crowd.

Jeonghan stares. He knows how nervous you are. He knows how tightly you were wound in your quarters, how your hands shook as you ate. But here, under the scrutiny of all of Panem, you are luminous. You can joke around with Caesar; you hum a little tune when asked.

You are everything they want you to be.

He hates it. He loves it. He doesn’t know what to feel.

Caesar leans forward after your little song. His eyes glitter. “And tell me—I think everyone wants to know,” he says conspiratorially. “Our only Victor from District 11. Jeonghan. The youngest ever to have ever won the Games. A little birdy has told me the two of you are… close.”

Jeonghan goes rigid.

Bauble mutters something under her breath; Jeonghan thinks it might be a cuss. On screen, Caesar keeps his smile, but the question lands with precision.

You tilt your head, feigning thoguthfulness. “Jeonghan is my mentor,” you say. “But more than that, he’s my best friend.”

The audience lets out a collective murmur.

Jeonghan grips the arms of his chair.

“He’s the strongest person I know,” you say. “And I’m lucky he never gave up on me. I’m going into these Games with more than most. I have his faith.”

The crowd bursts into applause.

Caesar touches his chest theatrically. “Well, if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”

You smile. It’s a momentary slip in your carefully curated image, as if the thought of love and Jeonghan brings you a genuine sort of joy. The audience catch that, too, and the applause only gets louder. 

Jeonghan lets out a breath. Not quite a sob. Not quite relief. But it’s something. 

Because if he can’t protect you with his own hands, then he’ll let the Capitol fall in love with you. Let them send gifts, parachutes, lifelines.

Let them see what he’s always seen.

Later that night, Jeonghan finds himself staring at the ceiling.

The lights are off, the room mostly dark save for the faint Capitol glow filtering through the windows of his bedroom. It bleeds silver against the walls, but Jeonghan’s eyes are trained on the shadows. 

He’s been lying here for over an hour now, still in his clothes, hair unwashed and face unshaven, unable to summon the will to move. The interview replays in his head, your dress still shimmering in his memory, your voice steady and luminous beneath Caesar's showmanship.

You’d been a star. You—his star. And tomorrow, you will be in the arena.

He breathes out, pressing the heel of his palms into his eyes until colors burst behind his lids. The pressure does nothing to stop the ache in his chest. Jeonghan sits up.

He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. 

He should stay put and not make this harder, but his body moves before his mind can catch up, and he’s halfway to your door when he finds you already there.

You’re barefoot. Wrapped in a soft Capitol robe. Your hair is tousled from tossing and turning, and your arms are folded tightly around yourself.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you murmur.

His breath catches. “Me neither.”

For a long second, the two of you stand like that, inches apart, both unsure of what to say. Then Jeonghan steps back and pushes the door open wider.

“Come in.”

You don’t hesitate. You pass him with a soft rustle of fabric. He closes the door behind you and watches as you climb onto his bed without a word. 

You’ve done something like this before. Too many times to count. But tonight, there’s no laughter. No quiet jokes. Just the hum of something deep and heavy.

You lay down on your side. Jeonghan crawls in after and faces you.

Usually, you’re the one who pulls him close when he startles awake from a nightmare. Usually, you’re the one whispering him back to sleep, pressing your fingers to his hairline and reminding him that he’s safe, he’s here. There’s no fire, no forest, no bloody bracelet. 

Tonight, he wraps an arm around you instead.

Your nose brushes his collarbone. He feels your breath, warm and steady, and he shuts his eyes.

He wants to say it.

That he loves you. 

That he has loved you from the moment you first yelled at him in the fields for cheating. That he has spent years loving you in silence, nursing the shape of your name in his chest like a prayer.

But the words rise to his throat and die there. They taste too much like a goodbye.

So instead, he presses a kiss to your forehead. This one, he thinks, is for the notes you two passed each other back in school. 

Then one to your temple. For your parents, who he will now never be able to look at. 

Then your cheek. For the time you threw out all the alcohol in his home and yelled at him until he agreed to only drink on special occasions. 

A soft one to your eyelid. For your singing—the best in the goddamn district. 

He kisses every part of your face except your lips. He doesn’t think he’d be able to stop, if he ever started there. 

When you whisper his name, when you tuck yourself tighter into his arms like you mean to mold yourself into his very body, Jeonghan only holds you closer.

In a few hours, he will have to let you go.

But not yet.

Not yet.

V. YOON JEONGHAN, THE SINNER. 

The arena comes into view and Jeonghan feels his stomach turn.

It’s a swamp.

Endless, waterlogged land choked with moss and trees heavy with rot. Mud so thick it might as well be quicksand. A heat haze distorts the sky in a way that makes it seem closer, like the clouds might melt onto the kids below. 

The air looks like it stinks. Jeonghan knows it does. He’s smelled swamp before in the southern end of District 11, in the marshlands after the harvest. Stagnant water swallowing the weeds whole. 

But the Capitol has made it worse. Of course they have.

The swamp is dotted with platforms. On screen, the tributes rise, one by one, as the countdown begins. All of them retch. A few are already shaking. One kid—the boy from 10, maybe—looks like he’s crying. Good. He won’t last an hour.

Jeonghan doesn’t look for Barley. He looks for you.

Your vitals blink steady on his monitor: elevated heart rate, but within reason. No signs of panic. Your face is unreadable on the screen, jaw set, eyes cutting ahead toward the Cornucopia or what passes for one in this muck. 

It’s a wrecked fishing trawler, run aground in the center of the swamp, half-covered in algae and rust. Supplies are lashed to the deck with ropes, weapons tucked into fishing nets. Booby-trapped. Jeonghan knows it. The Gamemakers always hide teeth under the sugar.

“Swamp,” Seungcheol says, appearing beside him. The District 4 mentor. Tall, sun-weathered, wearing that half-smile Jeonghan used to think was charm and now knows is armor. “Our kids might actually stand a chance this year.”

“Let’s hope so,” Jeonghan replies without looking up.

He stares at your vitals. At your small figure on the screen. Still not moving, not even a twitch of hesitation. Just watching, waiting. The same way he’s seen you watch the sky from the train window, like you’re searching for something worth staying for.

The countdown hits zero. The gong sounds.

The Games begin.

The cameras flicker between chaos and slaughter. Screams crack the air, tinny and sharp over the Control Center’s monitors. Blood is spilled in less than five seconds—twin blades from District 1 find the neck of a smaller boy, and the Career pack forms with terrifying speed. 

Jeonghan’s eyes scan screen after screen until he finds you.

You’re running—not to the Cornucopia, thank the gods—but to the left, where a pile of knapsacks and canteens are scattered among debris. You duck, swipe two, and pivot just as another tribute lurches at you. 

Jeonghan’s heart stutters. You use the knapsack like a flail, slam it into their face, and bolt toward the trees. 

Fast. Smart. Alive.

Barley is slower. He lingers too long, fumbling with a coil of rope. He nearly loses it when someone charges at him, but a girl from Six takes the hit instead. Her scream rises—then cuts off abruptly. 

Barley scrambles, barely escaping with a dented pot and a bottle of water. He doesn’t make it far, but he’s alive. For now.

A cannon fires. The first.

The room of victors stills as the screen flashes the casualty to them.

District 12’s girl. 

Jeonghan glances to his right, where Hansol is already on his feet. The victor doesn’t say a word. He just unplugs his data pad and walks out, the steel door hissing shut behind him. Jeonghan watches him go. 

No one says anything. They rarely do.

District 12’s boy goes down not long after. Another cannon. Another name. Hansol won’t be back.

The bloodbath drags on. It’s brutal, but not long. Six tributes die before the hour is up. Jeonghan leans forward, tracking the green blip that marks you on his pad. You’re tucked in the trees, breathing hard. You’ve stopped to bury yourself beneath leaves and branches, taking a note straight out of Jeonghan’s playbook. 

Next to Jeonghan, Seungcheol lets out a breath and mutters, “Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck,” Jeonghan replies, voice hoarse. “I need a miracle.”

Your green blip continues to blink.

Please stay that way, Jeonghan thinks. 

You eventually make your slow, measured way through the muck of the arena. The swamp is vast, ringed with spiny trees, their roots like skeletal hands clawing out of the fetid water. Fog coils through the underbrush. Every few hours, something hisses or howls from the shadows. It's hell in technicolor, broadcast to every screen in Panem.

You move with caution, dragging your left leg slightly—favoring the ankle you twisted on the first day, slipping on moss-covered stone. He winces every time he sees you falter.

Capitol patrons have been generous. 

You’re pretty, and that counts for something. The dress they stuffed you into during the Tribute Parade did what it was meant to do. More importantly, you spoke like someone worth listening to during the interview. You’ve earned your sponsors. Jeonghan watches the pledge count climb.

But the funds dwindle faster than he likes. Bandages, food, painkillers—they cost more than you’d think. The sponsors pay for entertainment, not mercy. And half the job of being a mentor is making the calls no one else wants to make.

Barley hasn’t eaten in two days.

Jeonghan sees the boy stumbling along the banks of the stagnant pond, mouth cracked dry, trying desperately to chew a reed that isn’t remotely edible. His heart twists. Barley’s vitals flicker. Pulse dropping, dehydration setting in. 

Jeonghan’s finger hovers over the interface. He has enough to send a protein bar. It’s not much, but it’ll get the kid through another day.

Then, you scream.

It’s sharp, sudden, a sound that guts him. On-screen, you go down hard, hand clutching your side. Blood blooms at your waist, seeping into the saturated soil. A mutt. Something you had gotten away from through the skin of your teeth. 

A silver parachute of life-saving supplies cuts through the arena. It is not for Barley. 

The cannon fires that night. A low, guttural boom. It is not for you. 

Jeonghan closes his eyes. He can imagine it already. The projected photo of Barley, lighting up the night sky. Announcing his death. Broadcasting Jeonghan’s failure. 

He exhales slowly, jaw clenched. It should never have come down to a choice.

But it always does.

He doesn’t check your reaction. He doesn’t think he’d survive it, anyhow. 

Hours later, the camera feed switches to your sector. For the first time since the Games have started, you’re not alone.

District 7’s boy—the one with the heavy shoulders and steady hands—and District 9’s wiry, sharp-eyed tribute fall into step beside you. Glances are exchanged. Supplies are shared. It’s enough. For now.

Jeonghan doesn’t like it.

“She always this trusting?” Jihoon asks from where he’s perched near one of the monitors, arms crossed tightly.

“Not usually,” Jeonghan replies, cool. “Must be desperation.”

Seokmin leans against the paneling, softer, more optimistic. “They seem like they’re good kids. Maybe it helps her chances.”

“Or maybe they’ll gut her in her sleep.”

Jihoon frowns. “They’re not like that.”

Jeonghan doesn't respond. He watches you divvy up some dried fruit, offering the larger portion to the boy from Nine, who grins and says something the cameras don’t pick up. You smile back, faint. Tired.

A part of Jeonghan wants to tell you to run, but he also knows you won’t get too far. 

The tentative truce lasts for three nights.

On the fourth, you’re the one on watch. Jeonghan knows you haven’t slept more than a couple hours at a time. You’re running on adrenaline and stubbornness.

At midnight, the boy from Nine rolls over. Pretends to murmur in his sleep. You lean in to listen, and Jeonghan nearly screams at his screen.

The boy from Nine pounces. 

The boy from Seven follows a second later. They work in tandem, practiced. 

They hold you down, your legs thrashing against the swampy ground. You’re muffled by the palm of a hand over your mouth. 

These things happened. Jeonghan watched it year in, year out. But never to one of his, never to—

The cameras zoom in just in time to catch the glint of your blade as it drives upward into the shoulder of District 9’s boy. Always keep your weapon within reach, Jeonghan had advised you. Even when you’re half-awake. I had a rock. Have—anything. 

Seokmin’s tribute howls. You break free.

Jeonghan’s fists are clenched. He doesn’t breathe until you’re sprinting through the trees again, bleeding but alive.

A couple of seats away—Jihoon and Seokmin share twin looks of horror. 

“I didn’t know,” Jihoon croaks. 

“Neither did I,” Seokmin murmurs, paling. “Jeonghan, I’m—”

But Jeonghan rounds on them like a storm breaking over the Control Center. He’s up on his feet in the next moment, angry in a way that nobody has ever seen. It confirms the rumors that had been swirling, puts down the cards that he’s held so close to his chest. 

“Didn’t know? That’s all you’ve got?” Jeonghan snarls as he yanks Seokmin away from the panel, nearly sending the victor to the ground. “You raised these motherfuckers!”

“They’re tributes, Jeonghan,” Jihoon snaps back, maneuvering so he can also face Jeonghan’s rage. “They’re just trying to survive.” 

“So is she!”

Bauble grabs Jeonghan by the elbow before he can do any more damage. “Enough,” she commands. “Outside. Now.” 

Jeonghan shakes her off but lets himself be steered out of the room. The door shuts behind them with a heavy click. He presses his back against the cold wall, jaw clenched.

Bauble doesn't say anything. Just waits. Escorts typically didn’t interfere at this point in the Games, but Bauble had taken it upon herself when she seemed to realize how much of a hold you had on the man that was supposed to be keeping you alive. 

Jeonghan covers his face with his hands. He doesn’t cry. He just breathes like he might come apart.

Inside the Control Center, the screens roll on. You’re alone again.

When Jeonghan returns, nobody talks about his outburst. There have been worse. Actual physical alterations. Victors spewing cusses, calling each other monsters. Forgiveness always came after the fact, but Jeonghan chooses peace and refuses to look at anyone else for the next hour. 

The swamp only grows crueler. 

There’s a haze that clings low to the ground, thick with spores and heat, and it makes the cameras flicker with static. 

The Gamemakers let it linger. They always do when the numbers dwindle. Suffering looks better through distortion.

Jeonghan leans forward in his seat, eyes locked to the primary monitor. Your figure stumbles into frame—mud-caked, limping, one arm clutched uselessly to your ribs. The blood there isn’t fresh. He knows what that means.

The camera’s too far to see your expression, but he doesn’t need to. You’ve gone quiet. No more traps, no more clever distractions. No more running. You’re just trying to stay upright.

Something shifts in the mist behind you. Fast. Deliberate. Another tribute.

Jeonghan’s fists slam into the console.

He doesn’t hear the rest. The monitor blares as the tribute from Two emerges—a heavyset girl with a jagged blade and fury behind her eyes. You try to run, but your body gives out two steps in. Your knees hit the water first.

It’s not a fight. It’s a beating.

Jeonghan’s knuckles go white. He watches you crawl, desperate and drowning, as the girl drags the blade across your calf to slow you further. The water goes dark. You barely scream.

The camera cuts to a tight shot. Your face, smeared in blood and mud. Mouth slack. Eyes unfocused.

Then—

Your lips move.

Tiny. Cracked. Fragile.

But he sees it. He swears he does.

His name.

Hannie, you’re mouthing, pleading, praying. 

Bauble says something behind him. A warning. A reminder. Jeonghan doesn’t hear it.

Jeonghan stands too fast. The chair clatters to the floor behind him. His hands press to the screen like he could reach through it, like if he could just touch you, anchor you, you’d remember how to live.

But the screen stays cold, and you go still.

Jeonghan’s breath shudders in his chest. He turns wildly like he might find something in the corners of the room to fix this. 

The remaining victors pointedly ignore his panic. They can’t do anything, either. They’re not about to waste their few resources on a tribute that isn’t theirs, even if Jeonghan begged and bled himself dry at their feet. 

There’s nothing. Jeonghan has given you everything he has, and it wasn’t enough.

Until the vitals blink. 

Once. Twice. Slow, but there.

A faint pulse.

You’re alive.

Jeonghan stares, disbelieving. The tribute has already vanished into the haze, too bloodied to check if you’re breathing, or cruel enough not to care. Either way, it’s a mistake. One Jeonghan won’t let stand.

He reels back from the screen. “Stay with her,” he tells Bauble, voice rough. “Monitor everything.”

Bauble looks up. “What are you—”

But he’s already moving. Out the door, down the corridor. The Peacekeepers outside the Control Center don’t stop him. 

There had always been whispers. 

That Jeonghan was the victor they couldn’t market. The one with the too-sharp tongue and eyes that didn’t flinch when Capitol cameras pressed too close. 

He smiled wrong. Loved wrong. Didn’t cry when his family died in that fire. 

Too clean. Too convenient.

It had given him nothing to lose.

But now—

Now he has you.

He finds her at the champagne bar just off the Viewing Floor. Gilded, powdered, draped in silk. The richest woman in the Capitol within arm’s reach. Her name doesn’t matter.

Jeonghan takes a breath. Thinks of you.

Then he smiles.

The kind of smile they remember. The kind that sells promises he’ll never keep. His voice is velvet when he approaches, belying the desperation thrumming through his veins. 

“You wanted to know what it was like to be wanted by a victor,” he says in lieu of a proper greeting, brushing her wrist with his fingertips. “How lucky. I’ve just remembered how to want.”

The socialite laughs. Bright, predatory.

He keeps smiling, even as his stomach turns. Even as the shame claws at the inside of his throat.

Her room reeks of expensive perfume and debauchery.

It’s in a suite at the top of one of the Capitol towers, walls made of glass and floors of velvet. It's the kind of place meant to make you feel small, make you grateful. Jeonghan doesn’t feel anything at all.

She kisses like she wants to devour him—painted nails digging into his back, her breath warm with wine and old longing. He lets her.

He performs.

Every soft sound, every graze of his lips, every practiced flick of his tongue—he gives it like it means something. He moans where she wants him to, touches her the way she’s probably imagined in her loneliest hours. He thinks of your face, dirt-smudged and bloodied, of the shape your mouth made when you whispered his name.

It’s not her he’s kissing. Not really.

He imagines it’s you beneath him. Imagines you needing him like this, touching him like this, loving him like this.

It doesn’t help.

She arches beneath him and calls him beautiful. He’s a bit clumsy, having never done any of this before, but it only serves to make him more endearing. A gorgeous thing that had to be broken in. 

He had wanted it so badly to be you. He can almost picture it, can almost taste it. How you’d laugh in between kisses. How you’d moan as his hands roamed. How you’d be everything and more.

When the woman cries out, Jeonghan doesn’t answer. His eyes are already on the ceiling.

It’s over in minutes. A quick, efficient transaction wrapped in silk sheets and false gasps.

She sprawls beside him, sated, smug. Jeonghan slips from the bed before she can say anything else. She doesn’t ask him to stay. She already knows how these things go, having sampled her fair share of male victors who were just as desperate. 

Jeonghan doesn’t shower. Doesn’t have the time for it. 

He just dresses in silence, pocketing the cred-chip she leaves on the table beside a crystal flute of champagne. He doesn’t drink it.

The elevator ride back down is quiet. His hands tremble.

By the time he returns to the Control Center, his mask is back in place. Bauble doesn’t say anything, just glances at the chip he slides across the desk.

“Enough for a full care package,” she confirms. “Weapon, medicine, some soup. We’ll drop it.”

Jeonghan nods and looks back to the monitor.

You’re still breathing. 

He presses his palm to the screen again and thinks of the myth you had loved so much as a child. The one with the fool—Orpheus, his name might have been—trying to lead his lover out of hell. 

“Wait for me,” Jeonghan croaks to no one in particular. To you. Always to you. “I’m coming.” 

The silver parachute lands. You reach for it with quivering fingers. 

You live for two more days. 

In those days, the swamp falls quiet. 

No more cannon fire. No more mutts. Just you and the girl from District 4, standing ankle-deep in water that smells like rot and victory.

Your blade is slick in your grip, hands trembling. You don’t even know where you’re bleeding from anymore. Every inch of you aches. Your body doesn’t feel like your own. 

The girl sways on her feet. She’s young. Too young. Her cheeks are streaked with mud and old blood, her breathing ragged. Her eyes are empty.

You both know it ends here.

“Please,” you choke out. It takes a moment to register that you’re not begging to survive. 

The words come with tears, with all the wreckage of what’s been done to you. “Finish it,” you rasp, your fingers tight around your scythe not with the intent to strike. Just to have something to steady you. 

Your opponent doesn’t move.

Up in the Control Center, it’s just Jeonghan and Seungcheol. 

Everyone else has gone. The other victors. The escorts. This is between two districts, two tributes, two victors. 

Jeonghan doesn’t look at Seungcheol. He can’t.

Back in the arena, you crumple to your knees, exhausted beyond belief. The swamp laps at your legs.

“Please,” you whisper again. “Please.”

The girl’s hands tremble. She looks at you like she’s seeing something else—someone else. She takes one step forward, then stops. Her fingers close around the handle of her knife.

You don’t flinch.

Then she speaks.

“You know Seungcheol, right?” 

You blink, confused.

She forces a smile, small and broken. “My mentor,” Seungcheol’s tribute offers. “Tell him—tell him I’m going to miss him the most.” 

Manipulated footage makes it look like you pushed her backward.

Jeonghan and Seungcheol see it as it happens. How the girl takes an intentional step back. How you reach for her, trying to stop her, only to watch her sink in quicksand that has been exacerbated by the Gamemakers. 

The arena swallows her up. 

The cannon doesn’t fire for several long seconds. 

The sound, when it comes, is muffled. Like the swamp itself is mourning her.

You scream. You scream until your throat gives out. You’re still screaming as you’re declared the victor, as you sob into the wetlands, as you’re lifted out. 

In the Control Center, Seungcheol’s hands curl into fists in his lap. 

His eyes fixed on the screen. Dry.

Jeonghan finally turns to him. “Cheol—” he starts, but Seungcheol shakes his head. 

“She’s coming home,” Seungcheol says, flat. “There’s your miracle, Yoon.”

And Jeonghan is sorry for it, sure, but he’s still much more grateful. 

V. YOON JEONGHAN, YOURS. 

Jeonghan doesn’t remember the walk to the Capitol hospital. He remembers leaving the Control Center. He remembers running.

The hallway is sterile and humming when he gets there. He knows where they’ve taken you. Of course he knows. He’s watched every moment of your suffering. He could trace the outline of your wounds with his eyes closed.

The nurse outside your room says something—protocol, maybe. He doesn’t hear her.

He shoulders his way in.

The lights are dimmed, the machines are quiet, but the sight of you lands like a gut punch. Jeonghan falters in the doorway.

You look like you’ve been hollowed out. 

There’s barely anything left of the tribute he watched fight through blood and betrayal. Bandages snake around your limbs and torso. Your face is pale beneath layers of grime they haven’t scrubbed away yet. Your lips are split. Your eyes—

You don’t even blink.

He takes a step closer, slow, careful, like approaching a wild animal. His hand lifts, fingers reaching for your cheek, like he might cradle it the way he used to in the dark of the Control Center, whispering to your image like you could hear him.

But the second he touches you—

You flinch.

Hard.

Jeonghan’s heart stops. His hand drops back to his side like it’s been burned.

You don’t look at him. You just tremble, shoulders curling in, your breathing shallow, your eyes still fixed on something beyond him. Beyond the room. Beyond now.

It’s the first time you’ve ever pulled away from him.

He doesn’t know what to do with that.

Part of him wants to fall to his knees. To apologize. For what, he couldn’t name. For not stopping the Games? For not being able to keep you from breaking? For still being here when so much of you has been scraped raw?

The silence presses in like swampwater, like a forest fire. Suffocating, unforgiving.

Jeonghan turns and lowers himself into the corner of the room. The floor is cold. The chair is too far. He needs to be here, close, even if you can’t stand his touch.

He wraps his arms around his knees and stares at you.

Your stare doesn’t move. Not to him. Not to anything.

He’s seen this look before. He wore it once, too.

Jeonghan swallows past the ache in his throat and speaks, barely audible. “I’m here. I’ll stay here. As long as you need.”

You don’t respond.

He doesn’t expect you to.

He settles into the silence like a penance and waits.

He waits for you to go through all the medical procedures. He waits for you to get an entire day's worth of sleep. He waits, even as the stylists dress you up like a doll.

Gossamer fabric, soft pastels to soften your image. Something that whispers vulnerability, not violence. They work in silence, careful around the raw edges of your skin, the lingering bruises. 

You don’t wince anymore. You just endure.

Jeonghan watches from the wings of the stage, heart in his throat.

The stage lights bloom too bright. Caesar’s teeth gleam under them like weapons. The audience cheers. Applause swells. 

And you? You walk out on trembling legs.

There was a time your smile could light up a room. Now it flickers, half-formed, and dies before it reaches your eyes.

Caesar catches your hand, holds it up for the crowd. You don’t pull away, but Jeonghan sees it—the way your fingers twitch, like they remember what it’s like to hold a weapon.

“Our newest victor!” Caesar announces. The crowd roars. 

Jeonghan leans forward in the shadows. He wants to run to you. To shield you from the cameras, the crowd, Caesar’s well-meaning questions that twist into knives.

“How are you feeling?” Caesar asks.

Your voice is soft. Hoarse. “I’m alive.”

A ripple of awkward laughter. Caesar tries to coax something out of you, a joke, a quip, the spark you once had. But it’s gone. Buried so deep, not even you know where to look.

Your fingers keep trembling. You tuck your hands in your lap to hide it.

Jeonghan watches every second.

They want a victor. A hero. A darling. But all they get is a shell.

And Jeonghan can’t do anything but watch.

They crown you in front of Panem.

Golden laurels rest atop your bowed head, catching the light like a final joke. President Snow stands behind you, hand heavy on your shoulder. 

You don’t shirk. You don’t cry. You barely breathe.

Jeonghan stands at the lower steps of the stage, jaw clenched tight.

The crowd is euphoric. Flashbulbs pop. Your name chants through the air like a war cry, over and over, and all Jeonghan can think is how hungry they look. Like they want to eat you alive.

You rise slowly when Snow lifts your chin. He presents you as the Capitol’s newest sweetheart—shattered and bloodstained and beautiful.

Jeonghan’s stomach twists. He hates it. The theatrics. The flowers. The falseness. The way they cheer for your trauma.

Later, at the afterparty, the music swells and champagne flows. You sit somewhere under a too-bright chandelier, being toasted by strangers with leering eyes.

Jeonghan tries to keep to the fringes, but he doesn’t escape for long.

The President finds him near the garden terrace, glass of something untouched in Jeonghan’s hand. The air stills around them like the world knows something dangerous is coming.

“Quite the victor,” Snow says mildly. “She’s memorable. Fragile in a way that sells well.”

Jeonghan says nothing.

Snow steps closer. His smile is polite. Tight. “You should be proud. The Capitol hasn’t felt this invested in years.”

A beat.

“Of course,” Snow adds, sipping from his flute, “such devotion comes at a price.”

Jeonghan’s throat tightens. 

Snow glances at him, all cool amusement. “Do thank that patron of yours again. Very generous. Desperation makes strange bedfellows, doesn’t it?”

Jeonghan goes cold. His skin prickles. He can’t move.

“She’s lovely, your girl,” Snow goes on, seeming unconcerned by the conversation that has been one-sided insofar. “I do hope she doesn’t become... inconvenient.”

And with that, the devil leaves.

Jeonghan stumbles through the crowd, past gilded dancers and glass towers of champagne. He finds a bathroom, locks the door behind him, and falls to his knees.

He vomits until there’s nothing left.

Even then, he doesn’t stop heaving.

He empties himself out and drinks some more until he’s sick again. He thinks of what it means to be a victor—what you stand to lose if you don’t bend to the Capitol’s will. 

Will you blame him for doing his job as a mentor? Will you wish you could’ve been like Seungcheol’s tribute, could’ve ended things clean and quiet like Barley? 

On the way back to District 11, the train hums softly beneath the two of you. A lullaby for no one.

You sit by the window, forehead pressed to the glass, eyes on the blur of passing scenery. Home. Whatever that means now.

Jeonghan sits across from you. Not too close. Not too far. Just... there.

It’s been hours since either of you spoke. Days, really, because the most you’ve given Jeonghan are pleasantries and nods and thousand-yard stares. 

Sometimes, a cruel part of him thinks it’s a fate worse than death. 

Your voice breaks the silence like a match in the dark.

“I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan blinks himself out of his hungover stupor. His fingers tighten around the edge of his seat as he looks towards you, searching. “Why?”

“For flinching.”

His chest caves around the answer. “No,” he says quickly, too quickly. “Gods, no. I should be the one apologizing.”

You turn to him. Just barely. But he sees it in your eyes. You know.

He swallows. Tries to laugh, like it might smooth the sharp edges.

You don’t smile in return. 

Jeonghan’s heart beats like a war drum. He wants to say something that makes it okay. That makes any of it okay.

But there’s nothing. Just the soft hum of the train. The ghost of everything that can never be undone.

“You saved my life,” you whisper.

He looks at you, really looks at you this time, and it almost ruins him.

Because he did. And he didn’t. Not really. 

He pulled you out of the arena, but the arena never left. It will never leave. It lives in your eyes now. In your silence. In the way your shoulders curl inward like you’re still waiting to be hurt.

This is it.

Your lives now.

This train. This distance. Mentorship, and memory, and never quite touching because love is too heavy a thing to carry on top of nightmares and broken backs.

Jeonghan turns his gaze back to the window. He tucks his love for you deep, where it can’t rot anything else. It won’t do you any good now. 

You may warm up to him one day, may come to forgive all he did to keep you around for longer. But as the song once did go—

Nothing will ever grow quite the same. 

The train speeds on.

Outside, the sprawling fields of District 11 come into sight. 

[landograndprix]

ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀᴡᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ♛ ʟɴ⁴ - three

➣ and just like that you're growing closer each day and falling in love  has never felt this good.

➣ lando's? Not so subtle. You? As blind and oblivious as can be.

➣ you've got to love a little idiot in love and a complete idiot who's oblivious to it all, and remember kids, spelling mistakes and not proofreading adds character 😘

➣ reblogs and comments are welcome, alright love u 😘 

➣ previous chapter - next chapter 

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

y/nusername posted to their story

landonorris replied to your story

landonorris

Who you having dinner with huh?

y/nusername

your mum and mine ☺

landonorris

My mum loves you a little too much

y/nusername

aw, bit jealous?

landonorris

Safe me some of that food

y/nusername

Don't think I will still be edible when I send it to Monaco

landonorris

No you muppet i'm coming to England tomorrow

y/nusername

boy, why do you still have a house in Monaco? 😂

landonorris

Shut up mate 🤣

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

y/nusername

liked by landonorris, jamiejamezz and others

y/nusername mint innit? – noah (5) after giving his mum a heart attack 🏎

tagged: landonorris

view all comments

norrizz a very intense game of jenga I see

↳ y/nusername very intense, won them all though ☺

landonorris why are you lying?

norrizz she's allowed to lie lando 😇

jamiejamezz he finally did it huh

norry4 🥰

iamzarah yo did my girl win?

↳ y/nusername went a bit too fast for her, stood by my side most of the time 😅

landonorris just like her mum

quinking tell that to the speeding tickets she keeps getting mate

y/nusername I mean was it necessary to call me out like that?

quinking absolutely, you're a menace to society with the way you drive

landitonorris OH! 😍

landonorris milo loves me 🐶

↳ quinking rub it in my face will you?

landonorris milo loves me 🐶

julieeeexo Fay with kart number 4 😭

carlandooo now that's what I call a family 👀

maxfewtrell so he managed to get that date

↳ iamivy leave him alone max, he can't handle his big boy emotions very well

norrizz why y'all keep violating my boy and girl like this? 😭

iamivy easy targets babe 😘

landonorris my boy went flying, next wdc I'm telling ya

↳ norry4 MY boy 😭

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

y/nusername posted to their story

landonorris reacted to your story

landonorris

ask quin if he wants to lay in your lap next time 🤣

wrong car

y/nusername

what in the jealousy is going on? We're miles apart 😂

not really though, you were just very shit today 😔

landonorris

I'm not jealous

yeah cause you weren't here this time

maybe you're my lucky charm fr fr

y/nusername

guess you'll only win Silverstone and Monaco next year then

landonorris

You're going to be in Vegas though so might win that 😉

y/nusername

lando, no

landonorris

y/n, yes.

quin and max are going too

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

comments and reblogs are welcome, taglist is open ♡

𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸┈┈┈𖥸

taglist:

@mcmuppet @myheartgoesvroom @sltwins @sarx164 @harrysdimple05 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @saturnbloom77 @chezmardybum @alessioayla @sillyfreakfanparty @jule239 @gnarlycore @raynestargaryan2 @unlikelystay @noneofyourfbusinessworld @ln4-cl16-world @lunamelona @xo100 @honnethaty12 @ririyulife @alex341655

[silversurfersx]

granola life | sebastian vettel

sebastian vettel x wife!reader [smau]

summary: sebastian and reader enjoy seb's retirement to the fullest

faceclaim: ppl from pinterest

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: reader speaks german, but I haven't specified any nationalities

bit of a short one, but I felt like it, also my pinterest has been sending me too many hiking aesthetic pics 😅

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, sebastianvettel and more

yourusername: spent some times in the beautiful mountains ⛰️ 🌄

view comments

user: where is my seb

user: noah kahan core 🏕🏔🌳

maxverstappen1: who owns the beer?

yourusername: me, but seb had a few sips too

user: i want that granola life

yourusername: what's granola life? sebastianvettel: ein Müsliriegel, glaube ich (a granola bar, I think) yourusername: ah ok, danke schatz 😊 user: no... that's not... nevermind user: I love how you did even try to explain, and just gave up user: I realised that I didn't know how to explain it, lol 😅

___

liked by kimimatiasraikkonen, sebastianvettel, redbullracing and others

yourusername: oh how I missed the sea 🌊 ⛵️

view comments

sebastianvettel: 🥰❤⛵️

yourusername: ❤️🥰😘⛵️

user: how does it feel to live my dream 😔

user: I feel you use: oh how I wish to be rich 😔

kimimatiasraikkonen: next time come sail to visit us

yourusername: will do 😉

resbullracing: do we need to discuss a contract so that you sail for us?

yourusername: no, but thanks for the offer, haha

user: her first love

user: which one are you talking about? user: both user: aww

___

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and others

sebastianvettel: happy aniversary my love❤️ 💖 😘 I can't believe that 12 years have already passed, hopefully we got a hundred more to come 🙏 ❤️

view comments

yourusername: I love you so so much seb ❤️❤️❤️ und danke für die Blumen die sind so schön 😍 (and thank you for the flowers they are beautiful)

sebastianvettel: alles für dich, Schatz😘 (anything for you, honey)

user: i want someone to love me the way seb loves y/n

user: congratulations guys 👏 💖

user: this is so cute 😍

charles_leclerc: happy aniversary guys ♥️

maxverstappen1: happy aniversary 😊

___

liked by sebastianvettel, landonorris, lancestroll and others

yourusername: twelve years already, I can't belive it. They were the best of my life ❤️❤️❤️ ich liebe dich, seb!!! 🥰💖❣️

view comments

sebastianvettel: ich liebe dich auch, so sehr 😘❤️❤️ (I love you too, so much)

yourusername: 🥰😘❤️❤️❤️

user: i don't think I have ever felt this single 😔 but congrats!

lewishamilton: congratulations guys, a love like yours is rare ❤️

yourusername: aww, thank you so much Lewis 💖 sebastianvettel: thank you lewis 😊

user: they're so cute 😍

user: did she accidentally formate the third picture wrong?

user: happens to the beat of us

___

liked by sebastianvettel, kimimatiasraikkonen, maxverstappen1 and others

yourusername: not many adventures to report on lately, it's been a bit busy ☺️

view comments

sebastianvettel ❤️🥰

user: yeah, we can see that you've been busy, I did not see this coming, but congratulations

user: O.M.G 😲 congrats!!!!

maxverstappen1: congratulations 🎊 👏 🤰

yourusername: thank you max and you too! maxverstappen1: thanks

user: so now we got baby vettel and baby verstappen incoming 😱

user: schumi's daughter is also pregnant

user: congrats guys!

redbullracing: we sent some of our baby merch to you ❤️ congratulations 👏 💐

yourusername: haha thank you 😊

danielricciardo: sending all my love to you ❤️ 👏 😍

yourusername: thank you daniel

___

liked by yourusername, kimimatiasraikkonen, charles_leclerc and others

sebastianvettel: finally managed to take the little guy out for a hike 🙌😄

view comments

yourusername: er hat die Kühe so geliebt 🥰 (he loved the cows so much)

sebastianvettel: vielleicht sollten wir uns welche anschaffen 🤔😊 yourusername: darüber sollten wir uns aber nochmal unterhalten 🤨 (we should talk about that again) sebastianvettel: aber der kleine mag sie und ich mag sie auch... (but the little one likes them and I do too...)

user: awww a first look at baby vettel 🥰

user: he is so cute 😍

charles_leclerc: I wanna see him, he looks so cute 😍 😭

yourusername: you can come visit, and take Alexandra and Leo with you 😊 charles_leclerc: will do 🥰

maxverstappen1: aww he's adorable, but not as much as mine 🤭

user: BABY VETTEL 👶

[lunavrse]

WHAT YOU HEARD

LANDO NORRIS

summary ★ : streets are saying yn finally broke up with her loser boyfriend and guess who couldn't be happier? if you guessed lando, you'd be wrong, it's actually her (but lando's a really close second).

category ★ : smau.

notes ★ : disregard all times and dates, they don't matter. all spelling mistakes are intentional. with that out of the way, finally someone other than charles even though i still have like 2 drafts for him that i need to finish. ntm on the banner and article 😶‍🌫️. when you get to the hello kitty reactions pls just scroll💀 it was funny when i made it but now it's just... and i cba to remove it. sorry this is so short 🙏.

part 2

yn_ln added to their story.

user00: oooh, girl's night????

user01: love seeing my fav wags out and about

user02: what happened to your foot? hope you're okay🫶

yourfriend: lils on her phone probably texting alex🙄 they make me sick w how cute they are

user03: y'all look so good🥴

user04: I just know that club's hot as satan's arsehole, how do you look so good? what's your secret🎤

alex_albon: please bring my girlfriend back in one piece🙏

yn_ln: nah, she's my girlfriend now😪

user05: no ezra? break up abeg

maxfewtrell replied to your Close Friends story : did you forget she's on your cf

landonorris: do you think i'm stupid? obviously i removed her before posting this

maxfewtrell: so you do have a working brain cell🤗 congrats🎉

monaspencer replied to your story : wasteman is hilarious but deserved.

alex_albon replied to your Close Friends story : may your efforts fail 🤞🙏

landonorris: WOW🤣🤣

alex_albon: nothing personal mate🤷‍♂️

landonorris: WDYM nothing personal, you're literally cursing me😒

randomfriend replied to your story : VINDICATION!!! i knew you couldn't read🥳

alex_albon replied to your Close Friends story : why did he have to be such a simp, now i owe lily and mona money

yn_ln: you're a millionaire, you can afford it, so suck it up king👑🫶🏽

monaspencer replied to your Close Friends story : you just made me 200€ richer😘

yn_ln: i actually don't want to know...

lilymhe replied to your Close Friends story : now alex owes mo and i money, thank you🙏🏻

yn_ln: glad to be of service?

landonorris replied to your Close Friends story : i wonder who that handsome guy is

yn_ln: some stray i found wandering around and out of the goodness of my heart, i decided to bring into my home

landonorris: you're not funny

yn_ln: then why were you laughing at all my jokes earlier?

landonorris: i was laughing at how bad they were😕

yn_ln: sure...

charles_leclerc replied to your story : tangled on a date? how romantic

yourfriend replied to your Close Friends story : this doesn't look very "im done w yt men" 🤔

yn_ln: you're in my business, don't do that😁

yourfriend: but it's so interesting 🥴

⤷ end note ‧ ★ : made a cute lil divider so hopefully it distracts you from everything else😋. honestly this took so long bc i was mostly working with vibes, no writing, no thoughts, just vibes. i don't know how some of y'all are so fast, like you guys amaze me, my goal is to just get more than 1 smau per month out. also i will no longer be writing for charles leclerc bc someone said he looked like noah schnapp and i can't unsee it 💀💀 gonna have to change the drafts🥲

[cherrynflowergarden]

જ⁀➴ bitter truths|| dealer!matt x doll!reader

sturniolo masterlist add yourself to the taglist

she was laughing, leaning against her desk as she chatted with noah, a guy from her college. her eyes sparkled as she giggled at something he said, her entire posture relaxed and comfortable in his presence. but matt, standing by the door, could feel something dark twisting in his chest as he watched them. he didn’t get jealous—but he’d seen noah around. he knew the guy. he wasn’t some harmless friend and he surely didn’t have the best intentions. and watching her so openly enjoying his company made matt’s jaw clench.

he cleared his throat loudly, catching her attention. she glanced over, her big smile faltering as she noticed the coldness in his eyes.

“oh! matt,” she said, pulling herself away from noah. “this is noah, from my psych class. he’s been helping me with some notes.”

noah nodded politely, but matt didn’t return the gesture, his arms crossed tightly, eyes narrowing. “right. helping,” he repeated, voice dripping with sarcasm. her expression softened, her brow creasing slightly as she sensed his tension.

“can we talk?” he said, his tone stiff. “alone.” he added, bitterly eyeing noah.

she looked at noah apologetically. she barely had a chance to say goodbye before matt grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the room. she could feel the anger radiating off him, heavy, simmering, the kind that made her stomach twist.

she shifted under his gaze, trying to hold her ground, but his intensity made her stomach twist.

“what the hell are you doing, doll?” his voice was cold, almost a snarl. “hanging around with a guy like him?”

she frowned, taken aback by his tone. “he’s just a friend, matt. he’s helping me with some notes—”

“a friend? you don’t get it, do you?” his voice was mocking, filled with a bitterness she hadn’t heard from him before. “people like him don’t want to be friends with someone like you. you’re just easy prey.”

her eyes widened, a hurt expression flashing across her face. “matt, why are you being so—”

“realistic?” he interrupted, eyes narrowing. “because someone has to be. you think everyone’s got some good in them, that everyone’s gonna treat you the way you treat them. but that’s not how the world works, doll. you’re too blind to see it.”

her lip trembled, but she took a shaky breath, trying to stay calm. “you’re wrong, matt. i know what he’s like with me. just because he doesn’t fit into your world doesn’t mean—”

“oh, please,” he cut in, rolling his eyes. “you really think you know what you’re doing? you don’t have a clue. you’re just letting him string you along because he’s nice to you. that’s all it takes, isn’t it?” his words were sharp, condescending. “anyone gives you a bit of attention, and you’re ready to trust them with anything.”

her face flushed, her chest tightening at his words. “i thought… i thought you trusted me, matt. trusted that i could figure things out.”

“trusted you?” he scoffed, shaking his head in frustration. “y/n, i’m just trying to keep you from getting hurt. but you’re too stubborn, too naive to see that half these people only see you as an easy target.”

the word naive cut through her like a knife, each syllable laced with disdain. “so that’s what you think of me?” her voice was barely above a whisper. “some… some helpless girl who can’t take care of herself?”

“isn’t that exactly what you’re proving right now?” he snapped, his patience finally snapping with it. “you’re so desperate for everyone to like you, so willing to see the good in people, that you don’t even realize they’re laughing behind your back. they see you as this silly soft girl they can use and toss aside.” his voice was harsh, each word landing like a blow.

tears pricked at her eyes, but she held them back, swallowing hard. “i… i thought you saw me differently.”

he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “doll, you’re… you’re sweet, alright? you’re too sweet for your own good. ‘t’s gonna ruin you if you don’t learn to see through people like him. and right now, you’re just proving me right. you’re proving you don’t get how people are.”

she flinched, his words making her chest ache. “maybe… maybe i don’t want to see people the way you do, matt. maybe i want to believe in people. i thought you’d get that.”

“get that?” he scoffed, crossing his arms. “’m done trying to understand why you’re so determined to get hurt. you don’t get it, do you? you’re weak and you refuse to see it. you refuse to admit that you need someone to watch out for you.”

the words echoed in her mind, his voice searing into her heart. weak. naive. silly. and what hurt her the most was how he addressed her by her name and not as doll. she felt a tear slip down her cheek and quickly wiped it away, but matt didn’t soften, didn’t reach out to her.

for a moment, she couldn’t even speak, her throat tight with unshed tears. “if that’s really how you see me, then… maybe you don’t know me at all.” her voice was shaky, laced with hurt she couldn’t hide.

he watched her, his expression unreadable, but he didn’t move. he didn’t apologize or reach out to stop her as she turned and walked away, each step heavier than the last. she kept her gaze down, trying to block out his words, but they echoed in her mind, relentless.

days passed. she avoided his texts, his calls, even ignored the harsh banging on her door and every attempt he made to reach her. every time she saw his name flash on her phone, her chest tightened and the hurt bubbled up again. she knew matt was protective, that he cared, but his words had felt like a betrayal, like he didn’t trust her to know what was best for herself.

an; angst bc i'm sad(⁠｡⁠•́⁠︿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠) also tell me do we like this small title font more or the quote font one?

taglist; @mattsdolll @izzylovesmatt

[dollarbils]

my girl’s a stalker | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. your burning desire for your stalker soon turns into something else, does that truly mean you don’t want her?

warnings. smut, strap, harsh words, physical struggle

part1, part2 masterlist

you hadn’t seen billie since she’d driven you home, and it was driving you insane. she was all you could think about, all the fucking time. and it pissed you off.

you couldn’t shake the thought of her. she was like a poison, slowly beginning to eat at your insides, pulling at your heart. you wouldn’t admit the fear creeping in however, your dependency on her attention beginning to scare you.

you were willing to do anything for a shred of care from her. you wanted her to need you like you needed her. the frustration was excruciating.

“what’s on that pretty mind of yours?” her voice spooked you beyond measure, the manifestation of your thoughts not quite believable.

“nothing.” your response was dry, not having recovered from the weight of your thoughts, still trapped in the escape of your mind.

“hm, gone shy now that i’m finally here? i know you’ve been thinking about me.” sometimes you genuinely wondered if she could see your thoughts, she certainly liked to pretend she could.

“what are you doing here, billie?” she looked slightly taken aback, not expecting the sudden hostility.

“why so blue?” she stepped into the light of the moon, her features seeming to glow as you looked at her in awe. her smile was sickening, so fucking gorgeous. her hands reached your face, cupping your cheeks.

“stop it billie.” you pulled her hands away, stepping back, out of fear you’d succumb to her comfort.

“what’s wrong, baby.” she seemed genuinely confused, and a tinge of guilt poked at you.

“i’m not your baby.” you crossed your arms in an assertive act, but she was biting her lip, scanning your body with that seductive look of hers.

“you could be, what’s stopping you?” she tried to come close again, but you backed away.

“i kissed you, and then you ignored me for a week! how am i supposed to react?” her bottom lip stuck out in an ask for forgiveness.

“i’ve been occupied lately.” her excuse was vague, and she knew she wasn’t getting away with it. secretly, she was hoping you’d ask.

“with what?” she smirked, her tongue coming up to kiss her teeth.

“i had to take care of something, someone.” the clarity of her response was still poor, confusion lacing your brows.

“Noah?” horror flooded your spine when she grinned. the name of your previous fling bringing back a rush of memories.

“that was his name?” she was toying with you, insinuating things you wouldn’t let yourself speak.

“what did you do to him?” you’d underestimated her before, but you undoubtedly knew she what was capable of now. you backed away from her and she furrowed her brows, her eyes wide, chasing after you.

“don’t be so dramatic, babe. this doesn’t change anything.” you gripped your phone in your back pocket, moving away from her cautiously as you thought on possibilities of distracting her.

“it does, depending on what you did.” you grasped the sides of your phone, searching for the button that would make an emergency call.

“jesus christ, all i did was threaten him not to bother you anymore.” Your back hit the wall and your face went pale when she trapped you within her arms.

“with a weapon i’m sure,” she shrugged, “you’re fucking crazy.” she seemed to like what was meant as an insult.

“and you can’t admit you love it.” her fingers grasped your wrist, the one that was deep in your back pocket, and she revealed your tight grip on your phone.

“i thought we’d moved past this?” she pouted, mocking the failed attempt at getting out of this situation. you refused to speak, closing your eyes as her lips came to yours, hovering above them. your body craved her and your senses went blurry, consumed by only her.

“don’t be afraid of me, i’m what you need.” the familiarity of the words did nothing to soothe you, your heart still racing as her tough hands glided down your hips. you squirmed in her embrace, not liking the way your body was so eager to connect with hers.

“don’t deny the fact you want me, you’re not hiding it very well, baby.” her hips moved against yours, the bulge beneath her jeans, prominent.

“f-fuck you.” it was almost a moan, a half-whimper that took of your last shred of confidence, and dignity for that matter. and then you were giving in, kissing her forcefully as she drilled her hips into yours.

“much better.” she breathed and you rolled your eyes as she slipped her fingers under your shirt, unclasping your bra. you allowed her to take both of them off, and she took her lips between her teeth when your breasts spilled out.

“take a fucking picture if it means you’ll hurry up.” she chuckled at the comment and lifts you into her arms, before releasing you onto your own bed, at least she had the decency.

“such a brat. you’re so fucking lucky i find it sexy.” she takes your nipple in her mouth as she plays with the buttons of your jeans. your lips are parted, soft noises escaping occasionally.

“you’re fucking lucky i put up with your shit.” you responded, in the same tone. her lips left your tit, as she poked her cheek with her tongue.

“my shit? you’re the one who can’t fucking listen to simple instructions.” she manages to flip you over, so that you’re lying on your stomach, with protest however.

“just.. f-fuck.” she’d had enough of what she deemed your nonsense, shutting you up with the tip of her strap against your clothed pussy.

“what’s that, love?” your mouth had gone dry with the constant gasps as she pressed her tip against you. your heat was practically dripping all over the sheets.

“you’re making such a mess, i haven’t even properly touched you.” she nearby ripped your underwear off, revealing your glistening pussy. she couldn’t help but spread your wetness around with her thumb, brushing your clit so deliciously.

“b-billie.” her name had never sounded so good to her. she squeezed your ass as she soaked in the sound of her name as a gasp from your lips.

“beg.” she fisted your hair and held your torso as she pulled you up until you were sitting on your heels. her strap digging into your ass, reminding you of your position. she kissed your neck while she waited for a response.

“f-fuck, please billie.” your head fell back as she tutted in disapproval, her lips still ghosting the skin below your ear, before she lifted them and whispered.

“you can do better than that, babe.” she bit your ear lobe as you let out another whine of protest.

“what do you want from me? im sorry, j-just please, billie.” your cries were incoherent, bland of nonsense. but fuck, did she love it.

“a bit pathetic hm?” she pushed your body back onto the bed, the momentum causing you to bounce slightly. a raspy whimper escaped as she teased your entrance, circling it and applying pressure. you thought you’d burst if she pushed it in, which she soon did, entirely.

“b-billie.” she thrusted into you as she revelled in the string of moans coming from your mouth, desperate to cling onto them.

“fuck, you’re tight baby.” her fake cock was stretching you out so deliciously, and her pace was never-faltering. she tugged on your hair as she rutted into you from behind, pulling your face from the sheets in order to hear your moans.

“mm, taking me so well, huh? so pretty.” the base of the strap hit her clit repeatedly as she thrusted deep inside of you. she pulled your legs around her waist, aiming to go even deeper, hitting your spot over and over again until your vision turned white, littered with fucking stars.

“fuckk billie, i-i’m.” your words were barely audible, but she caught wind of them regardless, amused at your current state.

“i know gorgeous, come on you can take it.” she eased you further to your release, the pent up tension breaking as a wave of pleasure consumed your body. her strap still buried inside of you was helping you ride out your orgasm. and soon after pulling out, she joined you on the bed.

“does that earn me a goodnight kiss?”

you rolled your eyes, she was unbelievable.

note: this basically equates to 1/4 of my inbox, here you go 🤲

[httpknjoon]

from your point of view | myg

plot | that time bassist!yoongi thinks popstar!yn is not that versatile when performing her songs. (alternative: that time bassist!yoongi made popstar!yn cry— unintentionally!)

w.c | 2476

pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader

genre | fluff, angst, enemies to lovers

note | thank you to @seolaquotes for sending this one! hope u like it <3

main masterlist | want to request?

DAY 60 of Love Is... On Tour

"Okay, you all can take your breaks. Just come back before three."

As soon as Art concluded the rehearsals, everyone began leaving the arena. The dancers chat while picking up their bags. You were talking with Art about the setlist while you two walked away. Yoongi was just removing the guitar over his head when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Noah found a place with the best beer five minutes away. Do you want to come?" Fred asked while the others waited for his reply.

Yoongi looked at his guitar, scratching the back of his head. "There's something wrong with my guitar. Send me the location, and I'll catch up later."

The other members nodded and said their goodbyes. Alone, Yoongi just sat on the stage floor to tune it. The issue has been bugging him since the rehearsals began, causing him to have errors and delays that made you give him an obvious side-eye in almost every song.

"There it is..." Yoongi whisphered to himself as begun turning the pegs.

Listening carefully to the tune of his guitar, he did not even notice you walking back on the stage. You were planning to rehearse some of your songs alone, so you decided to come back after getting another bottle of water for yourself. You were quietly scrolling down on your phone when you noticed him sitting on a corner of the stage, alone with his guitar. You raised an eyebrow.

"You're still here?" You asked since you saw the others leaving together. Fred even invited her to go with them to the pub near the concert venue.

"Have to tune my guitar." Yoongi replied, not even looking up at you.

It has been a week since that night you two had an intense staring contest. Yoongi really followed what Art told him. He never looked directly at you before, during, and even after the rehearsals again. You don't know if he's a good follower or just sarcastically playing with you. But either way, it's getting to your nerves.

You didn't say anything anymore. Instead, you sat in front of him and stared like you were waiting for him to do something. He stopped for a second.

As soon as he realized that you decided to watch him, he clicked his tongue, "Uhm, what are you doing?"

"Nothing," you replied with a cheeky grin even though he won't look at you. By your coy reply, Yoongi can immediately imagine that you were smiling when you said that.

Your plans of rehearsing alone are now tossed aside and you make it a challenge for yourself to make your least favorite band member meet your eyes. You don't know why, but out of every staff and crew member who works here, Yoongi is the only one you don't really get along with. Was it the ugly first meeting? Or the uglier first impressions that lasted until now? Maybe it is something deeper. Who knows? You don't. But for now, you know that you like getting a reaction out of his usual blank expression.

"So, this is your first world tour?" you asked, internally determined to break him while he's busy.

"Yes," he replied, still turning the pegs in his guitar.

"But you worked with Harry before, right? Why didn't you join his band then?"

When you were looking for a replacement for your past band, Art endorsed Yoongi with the mention that he worked with Harry Styles on his first and second albums. Other than playing for him, he also produced and wrote a few songs with him. But, he didn't join Harry's two-year world tour that just ended months ago. Since Art seemed to really like him, you just agreed to take him for your band and never knew any more about his back story.

"My fiancee didn't want long-distance relationship," he answered like he didn't just say something of a big deal.

Your eyebrows raised, "You're getting married?!"

Instead of an answer, there was a long silence between you two. Suddenly, you feel a strange tension entering the stage. Yet, Yoongi has not laid his eyes on you. Instead, a heavy sigh comes out of his lips.

"Why are you here? It's break time."

You cleared your throat, tucking a hair strand behind your ear, "I wanted to rehearse alone."

"Is me fixing my guitar here will bother your activity?" he asked, looking at your fingers drumming on the ground.

You noticed that and decided to stop your tapping fingers. Testing, you laid your hand to your lap, feeling your cotton sweatpants. His eyes followed.

"Not really." you smirked when his eyes followed your fingers running through your hair. then, you snapped your fingers in front of your face. "Finally!"

"What?" his forehead creased.

"You looked at me. We've been talking for ten minutes and you won't just look at me," you explained.

"I thought you don't want anyone looking at you." he reminded you.

"...Not anyone." you tried correcting him.

It was his turn to smirk when he replied, "If that rule was just for me, then why are you putting too much effort to make me look at you right now?"

It was like your brain stopped for a moment. You cannot process any answer to that. Why do you even like annoying him? Or getting a reaction out of him? Are you that pressed about him? Why do you even want him to look—

"YN, here's the second setlist!"

Art! Thank goodness, Art showed up! You scramble to get up to meet your tour manager who was stepping on the edge of the stage. Cal was behind him since you asked her before to watch your new song choices for later. You see one of her brows raised when she noticed Yoongi on stage. She eyed him and you like she was making up something in her head.

"Oh, Yoongi, you're here?" Art asked him.

He nods, "Yep, had to fix something with this thing."

"Great! YN changed up some of the songs in the setlist. Maybe you can try playing it while she rehearse?" He asked.

You wanted to protest, not wanting to spend more time with him since you blacked out when he confronted you just a minute ago. But before you can even say something, Yoongi already nodded his head and began strumming his now-fixed guitar.

"Sure."

You had three songs changed in your setlist. It's not unusual as you always do it almost every week, wanting to surprise your fans every once in a while. For tonight, you put your famous less energentic love songs on the list.

"Is that okay?" you asked after singing the last one.

Art nods, giving you a thumbs up. Cal agreed even though it looked like she hesitated for a second. Since Yoongi is in the room too, you looked at him for any comments.

"I don't know. It kinda feels like you are zoning out when you're performing your less lively songs." He shrugged, removing his guitar on his lap and placing on its stand.

"Excuse me?" Your nostrils flared, Yoongi noticed.

"Like for instance, POV. The song is beautiful, the lyrics is really sincere. But I cannot feel anything from you every time you sing it." He explained. "It's like you were just trying to get over it so you can move on to your next songs."

Your throat tightened like it's hard to speak. Was he wrong? He's not. And you hate it. When you are singing the songs you wrote based on a relationship that eventually ended with infidelity, of course, you will find yourself dissociating. Most of your love songs were written about Theo, your ex-boyfriend -slash-ex-bassist, and everyone knows it. As much as you love those songs, you hate who it was associated with and sometimes you just want to space out rather than think of him while singing it.

You hate that Yoongi sees right through you.

You placed a hand on your hip. "And what do you know about performing?"

"You know that I'm a producer too, right?"

A lopsided smile was on his face when he said that. Hating how nonchalant he was, you rolled your eyes.

"Anyway, I'll go. I'll catch up with the others at the pub," he said, not even giving you a chance to bite back.

Out of curiosity, while you were still in your free time hours before the concert, you began looking up your performances online. You don't really watch a lot of videos of yourself online since you feel too vain in doing so. Plus, being a perfectionist, you will just end up pointing out the things you should have and have not done while watching those clips.

But you needed to confirm your bass guitarist's comments about you. So, you downloaded TikTok and opened your burner account. You quickly typed in your name on the search bar and scrolled down to find videos of you from your current tour. That is how you came across a compilation made by your fan, titled:

✨YN dissociating for three minutes straight✨

What the fuck?!

"Was it really that obvious when I'm singing those songs?" You asked, looking at Cal through the mirror.

It's been a couple of hours since you watched those videos. You are now sat in the make-up chair, wearing your bedazzled bodysuit, prepping up to perform in a few minutes.

"What?" Cal asked since she was busy fixing up your schedule for the next few days.

"That I'm spacing out?" you spoke quietly before chewing on your lips.

Your assistant noticed you being affected by what Yoongi said since he left for the pub. She saw you watching videos online, which she thought added more self-doubt. But she knew that you always wanted real and honest answers.

"In all honesty, honey, there are times I feel like you were slipping out."

You nodded at that, appreciating her honest comment.

"Faye?" You called your hair and makeup artist's attention, asking for her opinion.

She nods, agreeing with Cal, but you can read the sympathy in her eyes, "But your voice is great—"

"It's just the emotions, it's gone." you ended the sentence for her.

You looked down while your assistant and HMUA looked at each other. Maybe you really need to tap into those emotions again. It wouldn't be that bad, right?

"It's like you got superpowers, turn my minutes into hours..."

Yoongi watched from the band's spot on stage as you performed the song he criticized earlier. Thinking about that make his stomach sinks. He wondered if he said too much. You avoided eye contact with him when they returned for the last rehearsal earlier when they got back from the pub. You spoke quietly and was sighing a lot like you were frustrated. The guilt sits heavily on his chest.

"You know me better than I do, can't seem to keep nothing from you..."

Now in a sparkly, silver long gown, Yoongi's comments replayed in your head. You want to prove him wrong, so you begin looking back at the time you wrote the song. You let your fingers play with the mic stand in front of you while you sing.

"I wanna love me, the way that you love me..."

There he is. Theo. His face flashed in your head and everything you've done together in the last four years. Suddenly, you were transported at the time you two were alone in the studio. He was sleeping on the couch because you promised you two would go home after writing one more song.

"I wanna trust me, the way that you trust me..."

You were sparkling while your fans turned on their camera flashes. Yoongi observed you. Tonight was definitely different. Your voice felt fragile, like you were about to break at any moment.

"You love my lips 'cause they say the things we've always been afraid of..."

A knot tightens in your throat. You held on to the stand before you, trying to find stability. You felt your heart beating faster while reliving the good times of your past relationship. Then, you remember the first headline you read the day you decided to end it all.

"I couldn't believe it or see it for myself. Boy, I be impatient, but now I'm out here..."

Your voice shakes. The whole arena was quiet but the shared sympathy for you was obvious. Everyone knows how your relationship went as the break-up was highly publicized during the first week of your tour. Yoongi watched you remove your mic from the stand and begin sitting in the middle of center stage with the spotlight focused on you.

"And if my eyes deceive me, won't let them stray too far away..."

The song originally don't have any bass guitar in it, but you were losing it. So you turned your head down, letting the tears fall down. Yoongi notoced you raising your fingers. You rubbed your thumb and index finger together before drawing two checkmarks like you're strumming a guitar.

He instantly picked up and began playing his guitar, in tune with the instrumental of the emotional song. Earlier, you asked to put a short instrumental between the bridge and the last chorus since you wanted to enjoy the surprise song. The fans cheered as the bass guitar added a new vibe to the emotional song.

"I wanna love me, the way that you love me..."

The fans began singing back to you. You close your eyes, and a small smile forms on your lips. Your ears are filled with their voices. Everyone watched as you softly swayed to the song. You even removed your in-ear to hear their singing fully. Your heart slowly warms up, sending peace into your system.

"I wanna trust me, the way that you trust me, baby..."

You began singing again, walking on each corner of the stage to be closer to your fans. You point to them before putting the same hand on your chest as you continue,

"'Cause nobody ever loved me like you do, I'd love to see me from your point of view..."

The next day. It was only two-thirty in the morning and you were getting ready to leave your hotel room to leave for another state, when you heard a couple of knocks on your door.

"Just come in, Cal!" you said.

But you didn't hear the door open. So, you got up from your bed and opened it yourself. That's when you spotted a Milwaukee souvenir notebook on the carpeted ground. You picked it up when you saw a written note on paper taped on its cover.

sorry, didn't mean to make you cry. write more beautiful songs of urs.

ps. can't find any other notebooks here in the hotel. sorry 4 that 2

note | holiday themed drabbles coming up soon

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[foreverlittlesoshi]

Destroy Me More

noah sebastian x reader 

Content warning: smut (clearly), oral (f. & m. receiving) fingering, squirting

word count: 1.6k

MINORS DNI 18+

it surprised everyone when you two got together because everyone said the same thing every time. “he seems so shy compared to you.” maybe everyone thought that because he mainly kept to himself and his friend group but no one knew how much control he truly had over you. 

“just imagine the look on everyone’s faces if they knew how much of a slut you are for me.” he says as you run your tongue along his dick. you look up at him with big doe eyes and he smirks, he loves this sight and can’t help but to tease you. you kiss the tip then begin to take him in your mouth, he grabs the back of your head with his tattooed hand to push you further and you breathe through your nose to help yourself as you begin to bob your head. his eyes can’t help but to look at the bulge in throat caused by him. 

he apologized when he heard you gag and wiped away the tears forming in your eyes. he usually didn’t expect you to deep throat him but you just wanted to please him more than usual today. he felt heavy on your tongue and the way his hips twitched, you knew he was close. he pushes himself to the back of your throat when he cums so all you can do is swallow it. when he pulls away, you can feel a bit on the corner of your mouth which he cleans with his thumb and puts it in your mouth. you hum as you suck and he groans at the sight.

“you just think you’re so fuckin cute, don’t you?” his voice makes you whine and send shivers down your spine. “acting like a bitch in heat, just for me.”

“only for you, sir.” those words set him off because the next thing you knew, you were on the bed with noah’s face right in front of yours.

pressing his lips against yours harshly and you give back the same passion. he pulled away to remove his shirt and you looked at him with pure lust swimming in your eyes. sitting up to get a better look at him, you ran your hands up his firm ink covered chest and cupped his face. lust may be the main feeling in your body right now but love was all you felt for him. his brown eyes almost looked black, his lips felt swollen as you ran your thumb over them, and his face was pink due to you studying him.

“i love you.” was all that you told before kissing him again. 

“i love you too.” he spoke between kisses and he grinds his hips against yours which causes you to whine. his tongue moves against yours, your fingers threaded through his hair and tugged. he moans at the feeling, his hands moves down your body and runs his fingers lightly up your thigh. he purposely avoids touching where you need him and grips your hip instead. you pull away and whine at him.

“what’s wrong, my love?” he asks with false innocence. 

“now you’re just being mean.” you pout at him and he chuckles. 

“I mean we can stop he-“ “no!” You shout at him. “i’m sorry! i don’t want you to stop.”

“ask nicely and you’ll get what you want.” he smirked as your face became flushed. “please don’t make me say it.” he hums at your response then starts getting up.

“can you please touch me, sir?” you ask in a small voice as you grab his arm. “you gotta say where baby.” he knew you hated saying where you wanted him, you got so embarrassed about it and he loves it.

“please finger me, sir.” you whimper to him and he felt like he could cum again right then and there. “of course baby.”

he pushes you back down, leaving love bites on your neck, breasts, some on your navel while trailing down your body until he gets to the band of your underwear and then starts tugging them off. you lift your hips to help, he pulls them off and throws them somewhere behind him. when you spread your legs, you shiver due to the cool air and he smirks at how wet you already are. his thumb presses against your clit and you jolt at the feeling. 

“more, please!” he hasn’t even started yet but you could cum just from this simple pleasure.

he starts rubbing in circles and your eyes closed while you cried out. His long slender finger soon enters you but with how wet you are, he’s able to add a second finger with no problem and curls them. the squelching sound made your face burn but the pleasure from feeling his fingers pumping and his thumb swirling your clit drowned out the embarrassment. he lifts your legs up which causes him to hit deeper and your moans became more high pitched as you got close. he chuckles at how cute you are. you felt him kiss your neck then nibble on your earlobe. his palm was getting soaked because of you.

“noah, please.” you begged him while holding onto his arm. 

“use your words or else i don’t know what you want.” he mocked, you felt like crying due to the pressure and need to cum. 

“can-can i please cum? please sir?” you opened your eyes to see him and he pecked your forehead.

“good girl. now cum for me.” you closed your eyes then felt your mind go blank as you came though it felt way different from any other orgasm he’s given you before. he stared at your cunt as you started squirting on his fingers and moaned at the sight. he couldn’t believe it honestly since it was the first time you’ve done that. 

“[y/n], are you still with me?” you heard noah ask and you whimpered as a response when he pulled his fingers out. 

“are you okay?” he started to worry thinking he pushed you past your limit. your eyes fluttered open and sat up, when you saw the blanket was wet you felt bad.

“oh no, i’m so sor-“ “love, it’s fine. it was pretty hot actually.” he told you and you covered your face in embarrassment. 

“no, don’t do that.” he then removed your hands and held them, you looked up at him and saw that he was serious.

“i, uh, i didn’t know that i could do that.” you sounded like a mouse speaking to him and he kissed your head.

“let’s stop here for toni-“ “stop saying that!” he was surprised by your words.

“i don’t wanna push your body anymore, love.” you know he was just looking out for you.

“but i want your cock inside of me.” you pouted and he froze at how bold you were. 

your back hit the mattress again, he lined himself up to your cunt then pushed into you. crying out, your nails dug into his back and he groaned. he was so big and no matter how wet you were, it still stung whenever he first entered you. even with closed eyes, you feel tears and noah wipes them away. 

“noah, you’re so big.” you whined to him and he scoffed.

“isn’t this what you wanted? you know you can take it you little slut.” you already felt close again due to those words. his pace quickens, you could feel him hitting your cervix and you scream at the feeling. he couldn’t help but love the sounds you were making and looked down to see himself poking out at the edge of your stomach. he grabbed one of your hands and you opened your eyes confused until he placed his hand on the bulge. so many new things tonight we’re happening and you couldn’t help but love it. 

“do you feel me? can you feel me that deep inside of you?” he whispered in your ear.

“yes sir!” you cried, “i love it! i really do! please, please let me cum again.” 

“you call that begging? try again slut.” you whined at him.

“Noah, noah,noah! please please please sir! i wanna cum and feel you cum inside me. make me yours please. please sir!” his dick twitched at your words while your back arched at the pleasure you were feeling. he pushed your legs up to your chest and thrusted harder. 

“sir please!” you cried again feeling your orgasm creeping over the edge.

“cum now, slut.” is all he said before you felt yourself creaming on his cock and you could feel his cum spill inside of you. you moan at the feeling and he kisses you hard. once he pulls out, you both watch as his cum rushes out of your cunt and moans. 

your body felt like it was on fire and noah could tell. he picked you up then carried you to the bathroom and started the shower. 

“i can stand you know.” you said hoarsely which shocked you.

“i’ll get you some medicine after we shower, love.” is all he said and he let you stand by yourself. after he washed you, he let you wash him but when you saw his back you gasped. 

“what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“uhm, i guess i got a little too excited because there’s actually deep scratch marks on your back.” you told him and he laughed. after the shower, getting dressed, changing the sheets, eating, and him giving you medicine, you both finally laid back down.

“i’m sor-“ “don’t apologize for going rough. i really enjoyed it.” you told him before the tiredness hit you.

“i love you.” he says and you smile.

“i love you too, noah. more than you’ll ever know.” is the last thing you remember saying before falling asleep. 

[concretejunglefm]

The way you bend, the way you break.

Summary: Your best friend, Noah, has harbored a deep and obsessive crush on you for a long time. Driven by his intense jealousy, he reaches dangerous extremes to finally claim you as his own.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x f!reader.

THIS IS A FIC CONTAINS DARK THEMES PLEASE CHECK TRIGGER WARNINGS.

CW: smut including unprotected sex (p in v), ghostface, mask kink, boot riding, obsessive bestfriend!noah, stalking themes, yandere themes, manupilation, coercion, blackmail, dubcon, threats of violence, knife play (reader on receiving end), blood play (readers), degrading dirty talk, dacryphilia, breeding kink if you squint, hair pulling, pussy slapping

Names: Princess, bitch, (little) slut, little rabbit, baby, pretty thing,

Smut below the cut 🔞 Minors DNI.

“What’s your favorite scary movie, princess?” An enigmatic, almost mechanical voice purrs through the receiver.

“So original,” you retort, rolling your eyes. “You can stop playing games, Noah.” The idea of your best friend playing games like these with you, just to tease you, wouldn’t come as a surprise.

“Wrong, it’s not Noah,” the voice corrects you, dismissing your assumption, and your heart drops.

“Look, asshole, whatever game you’re playing, I’m not interested, okay?” You huff, hanging up and choosing to ignore the strange sensation of being watched that begins to creep in.

A moment later, your phone buzzes with a message from an unknown number. Attached to the message is a video. You pause for a moment, contemplating whether to press play on the thumbnail, which features a frame of your face. You could choose to delete the message, pretend you didn’t see it, or even block the number. However, curiosity overpowers you, and you decide to press play.

The video you’re watching features you and your ex. What you’re seeing is something you had presumed to be long erased from the existence of any phone belonging to either of you. Then again, you also know better than to assume anything could be permanently erased from the internet in this modern era.

In the frame, you’re on all fours and facing the camera, while your ex, out of frame—lucky bastard, is pounding into you. Every sound from you is almost as exaggerated as the way your eyes roll back and your tongue hangs freely, playing up for the camera—and for him.

When you close the video, another text appears.

Unknown: Hang up on me again, and this video will be sent to everyone you know.

Your chest tightens, and your mind races with panic and dread. As you try to message your best friend with trembling fingers, an incoming call interrupts you, preventing you from reaching out for help.

“What do you want?” you manage to say, trying to keep your voice steady, though it falters slightly. Fear creeps in, and you can’t help but notice the amusement in the strangers’ mechanical voice.

“You might want to use your manners, unless you want everyone to discover your little home movie.”

A shiver runs down your spine at the thought of anyone else seeing that video. The fact that a stranger already has it in their possession sends a sense of dread through you, accompanied by another strange feeling.

“Now, are you going to be a good girl and listen to me?” He poses it as a question, but the cold, unsettling tone of the stranger on the other end suggests it’s more of a command.

You swallow the lump forming in your throat and find your voice as you respond, “Yes.”

“That’s good, or you’ll end up starring in a snuff film for your next movie.”

“Oh god…” the words escape your lips, a choked sob rising within your throat.

There’s a ringing in your ears, and you take a step back. Your eyes dart around the open living room, looking towards the front door. But it’s as if the stranger can sense your thoughts, because his voice interrupts your train of thought.

“Don’t even consider running. We’re going to play a little game called hot and cold.”

“I-please…” A soft plea escapes your lips, followed by a choked sob. Fear has frozen you in your tracks, fear and something else, a subtle thrill that creeps into your mind, suggesting that you might be enjoying this.

Surely not?

The stranger completely disregards your plea for freedom, continuing to explain the rules of his game. “If you manage to find me, then maybe I’ll grant you your wish and leave you be.”

There was something about that “maybe” that you didn’t entirely trust. It hinted at the possibility that he had no intention of letting you go once he had you in his grasp.

Slowly, you begin to walk yourself through the house, one ear attentively listening to your surroundings while keeping the phone firmly pressed to your other ear, listening to him call out the varying degrees of how hot and cold you were.

You’re on the verge of giving up, ready to confront him and call him out on his bluff. He’s not here; he’s been playing you, making you believe he is. But just as you’re about to make your move, a rustling behind you catches your attention. As you turn, you’re met with a towering figure standing above you. He’s dressed in an all-black ensemble and wears a ghostface mask.

“Surprise, princess!” he announces, raising the blade in his hand. As you try to pass him, he swiftly scoops you up with his free arm, capturing you in a tight embrace and pulling your back flush against his front.

“Tsk tsk, sweet little rabbit, where do you think you’re headed? Don’t you want to play?” He smirks beneath the mask, and you hear the sly grin seeping into his voice.

When you feel the cool metal blade against your cheek, you softly whimper, “Please…” desperately hoping to somehow escape this or at least beg this stranger to release you unharmed.

“Please,” he repeats your word back to you, his tone mocking. Before asking, his voice laced with a menacing undertone, “Are you scared, princess?”

He gently caresses the skin of your cheek with the flat side of the knife, causing your heart to quicken in your chest as it trails down your throat. You yearn to say yes, but you can’t bring yourself to admit your fear to him, especially not when you can already sense the intensity of his arousal pressing against your ass.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long,” he whispers, his mask tipping up slightly to reveal his lips. With a gentle yet firm touch, he presses rough, lingering kisses along your throat, making his first move in asserting his claim over you.

You wish for your body not to betray you as it currently is, feeling the heat rising in your stomach, which gradually spreads throughout. Your thighs press together in your pajama shorts, the fabric giving little cover.

Your mind reels from his words as you suddenly realize that this could be someone you know or someone who knows you, at the very least.

“Aww, listen to you whimper. Are your legs shaking too?” He teases, and you realize just how unsteady you are on your feet. His arm is the only thing keeping you firmly in place, as his twitching arousal rubs against you, and his hips rut in a way that provides him with a semblance of relief, even though he’s already fantasizing about how you’d feel wrapped around him.

You hadn’t even realized you were whimpering until he pointed it out. Now, you could barely silence yourself, only soft pleas falling between the quiet sounds. But you no longer knew what exactly you were pleading for—to be let go, to have something more. Especially now that a growing ache was forming between your thighs.

“I bet if I reach down, you’ll be soaked.” You shake your head in denial, but deep down, you know he’s right. No matter how hard you try to pull away or squirm against him, his hand won’t stop descending into the front of your shorts. His gloved fingers glide over the fabric of your lace panties, sending shivers down your spine.

He doesn’t stop there; instead, he pushes aside the fabric and presses a finger between your folds, applying a pressure you didn’t realize you needed to your clit. The pressure makes your hips buck, and instead of a whimper, a needy whine escapes your throat. His dark chuckle in response washes over you, and you feel a wave of shame for genuinely enjoying this.

The delightful sensation of his leather glove is so pleasurable that when he starts withdrawing his hand, it makes you whine, your hips instinctively moving to follow him.

“Look at you, you enjoy this, don’t you? Desperate slut.” His words are confirmed when he raises his hand, reveling in the wetness that coats his gloved fingers. To your surprise, he pushes them into your mouth, making you clean them off with a low growl of an order against your ear.

Beneath the mask he reveals in the sight of you and continues his mocking as he glides the blade of the knife along the front of your sleep shirt, just scraping the fabric. “Mm, you’re making this too easy. I had anticipated a fight. But no, you’re just a twitching mess.”

You despise yourself for loving it so much, for the gentle sounds emanating around his fingers and the way your cunt throbs with need, your arousal intensifying with his degrading words.

“Now, it’s time for some real fun.” He delights, pressing the tip of the blade against the fabric of your shirt. He twists it slightly before pulling it to tear, slicing it all the way up until the fabric is reduced to two hanging pieces at your chest. You gasp, feeling the cool air against your hardened nipples as he spreads the fabric further apart, intensifying your arousal.

Before you have a chance to comprehend what’s happening, he starts dragging you backward down the hallway and towards your bedroom.

When you reached the bedroom, he ordered you to strip completely. Now, he has your hands tied behind your back while you rub your soaking, wet cunt against the thick, black leather of his boot.

You want so intensely to hate this, to vehemently protest against him, yet every sound you make, every desperate shift of your hips, contradicts those thoughts.

Honestly, you’re enjoying this more than you’d ever dare admit.

“I knew you’d be a good little slut, just like you are in that video.” The mention of the video from him sends a wave of embarrassment across your already flushed skin, causing your eyes to dart away from him before he suddenly grabs your chin with a harsh grip, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Look at you, you’re gasping like a whimpering, bitch in heat. What’s got you so worked up? Is it me or the knife?”

From the corner of your eye, you catch the glint of silver from the blade, the one he’s been taunting you with. He traces it over your collarbone and throat, but not with enough force to cause any damage. The weight of it emphasizes the threat behind his words each time he promises to ‘slit your pretty little throat’ if you don’t follow his instructions. It’s what led you into this position, yet you find yourself desperate and needy, pleading for him to let you cum and even give you more because you’re aware of how far gone you are.

“Are you going to cum all over my boot like a good little slut?” he teases, and when you try to look away once more, you feel the unforgiving grip of his fingers in your hair, forcing your head back as he compels you to gaze upon him. “Do you need a reminder about not answering me, princess?”

You gasp when you feel the sharp, cutting sensation of the blade against your skin, at your collarbone. This time he’s applied enough pressure to create a small cut, a pool of blood forming. As he lifts the blade to show you the blood, he offers it towards your mouth.

“Lick it,” he commands, and you obey, your eyes wide with a mix of fear and lust. You watch him, fixated on the mask, as you roll your tongue over the flat edge of the blade. The warm metallic taste of your blood coats your tongue.

A moment later, he advances just enough to tilt his mask and press his lips against yours in a passionate exchange. His tongue forcefully enters your mouth, stealing and sharing the lingering taste of your blood, and you moan into his mouth in response. The taste of him is both familiar and electrifying, reminiscent of sweet watermelon halls.

When he breaks away, the mask is swiftly pulled back into place, thwarting any chance of catching a glimpse of your tormentor, but that concern becomes pushed aside when your mind grows clouded by the tight coil forming in your stomach as you careen closer to your climax. You almost don’t want to reach it, fearing the consequences of its end, yet also it being an acknowledgement of your enjoyment and present desire.

There’s no escaping the moment you start to crumble before him, not when you’re trembling and your moans are intensifying in volume.

“Come on, pretty little thing. Give me what I want. Make a mess for me.” He murmurs his encouragement, his eyes fixed on you behind the mask, locked onto the way your hips buck and you desperately grind against his boot, coating it with your arousal. He can sense that you’re restraining yourself and his fingers in your hair tug harshly, drawing your attention to him. “There’s no shame in it. No one’s watching except me. So cum for me, baby.”

It’s as if, on command, you follow his words and let go, feeling your body quiver as your release surges through you with a roaring heat, strained whimpers escaping your lips. You quickly feel yourself growing limp, your body exhausted as the adrenaline wears off, but you know that he hasn’t finished with you yet.

It’s as if you’re a doll, and he’s treating you like one, placing you on the bed and positioning you just the way he desires. You willingly submit, no longer resisting now because you don’t want to. You want this. Even after your recent orgasm, you feel yourself tightening around nothing, the overwhelming desire to be filled consuming you, and you’re certain that’s precisely what he’s going to do.

“Keep your legs spread wide for me, princess.” He says, pushing you down against the mattress as he shifts behind you. When you try to look up, you spot the mirror facing the bed and glance at your reflection. What a mess you are spread out for him—your ass pulled up and presented while your upper half is pressed to the mattress. In that moment, you realize he’s mimicking the position you were in, in the video.

“Please…” you whine, a gasp escaping your lips as you feel his gloved fingers gently stroke your wet folds.

“Hush, you’ll get exactly what we both know you want.” With his other hand, he strokes his cock, positioning himself behind you. His eyes scan your exposed body, taking in the way you tremble under his touch. “Oh, you’re soaking.”

Another whine escapes your lips, and you instinctively try to conceal your face with the flush of embarrassment. However, his gloved hand forcefully slaps between your thighs, right against your clit, causing you to yelp and lift your head.

“No hiding. I want to see you,” he warns, and your eyes dart to the mirror, where you catch a glimpse of his head turned. He’s watching you, and he wants to watch you while he’s fucking you. That sick bastard, you think, but perhaps you’re the sick one because you feel a strange thrill coursing through your body, your clit throbbing with anticipation at the thought of what's to come.

“So fucking wet,” he murmurs softly beneath his breath. As you feel the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance, your hips shift, trying to push back against him and you feel his harsh grip holding you firmly in place. “God, you’re such a desperate little slut,” he taunts, chuckling darkly.

The tip of him feels so big against you, yet you crave more, yearning for him to fill you up, despite the pain it’s already causing to feel him pressing into you.

There’s nothing gentle about the way he forcefully slides you, your walls stretching around him, struggling to accommodate him. A tear escapes and rolls down your cheek from the immense pressure he brings as he slides into you until he’s deeply buried, asserting his claim on you.

“God, you should see how well your pretty pussy is taking my cock.” He growls, gripping your hip firmly with one hand and the back of your neck with the other, pinning you down. He starts thrusting into you, his pace quickening with each stroke inside your tight walls.

The intense movement of his hips makes you cry out, sobs bubbling up your throat from the overwhelming pleasure as you feel him pounding deep into your stomach. “Please…” you choke out once more, unable to find any coherent words.

Did it hurt? Did it feel too good? Was it a delicious combination of both? Regardless, it already felt like too much for you to handle, and your fingers curl into your hands, still tied behind your back. It only makes it easier for him to grip onto you, forcing your entire body down onto the mattress as he slammed his hips against your ass.

“You feel so fucking good.” He groans, and you whimper, your body trembling from the intensity of another climax building within you. You can’t stop the tears that continue to fall; your sobs slip out between your moans, something he’s quick to notice. “That’s it, baby—keep crying for me. I want to feel those beautiful sobs as you come undone.”

That’s precisely what he experiences when you squeeze around him every time another sob rises in your throat, his cock throbbing within you. However, it’s just as he teeters over the edge that you follow, feeling him thrust himself deep into you as his cock twitches with the release of his warm cum, filling you—completely claiming you as his.

No amount of protest could have stopped him, especially since he never gave you any warning. Despite your whining and attempts to throw him off somehow, you’re pinned beneath him as he leans over you, caging your smaller frame beneath him. “Just take it,” he growls, making you feel even smaller as you tremble, unable to deny the way your own body falls apart with the knowledge that he’s cum inside you, filling you deeply, feeling the bulge of him in your stomach.

He remains buried inside you, twitching and throbbing as you squeeze him, as if holding him there, unwilling to let him go.

Neither of you moves, frozen in this moment. There’s a part of you that secretly doesn’t want to.

For a fleeting moment, your eyelids flutter, and your body succumbs to exhaustion. However, you’re jolted to your senses when you notice him raising his hand to remove his mask.

In the mirror opposite, you’re greeted by a familiar face that makes your stomach flip and your eyes widen. “Noah…” you breathe out, and he leans down, his breath hot against your ear as he whispers,

“Surprise, princess.”

[concretecultist]

Kingdom Come

summary: you ask Noah, your Dom best friend, for a big favor.

pairing: sub!fem!reader x dom!noah

word count: 7.4k

THIS IS PURE FICTION!!

warnings: 18+!! BDSM, restraints, slapping/impact play, light degradation, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, p in v, oral (f receiving), subspace

A/N: this was purely self indulgent. please reblog and comment if you enjoyed 🥰

~Berry🫐

Life was kicking your ass. Harder than normal and the weight of the world was getting harder the bear.

Your job sucked, your body ached all the time and the one guy who you thought was going to be it for you, ended up ghosting you. All of it was a slap in the face and it was even worse when your landlord calls you to let you know the water would be off for a couple weeks due to maintenance issues. You guess you could tolerate it since he’s reducing rent during the time that the water will be off.

So, once you find out this information, you’re calling your best friend to see if you can crash there for a while. He had no problem with it. He no longer had roommates and often found himself missing having someone around.

So when you arrived and got yourself situated after a steamy shower to wash the day off, you find yourself sitting beside Noah with a question burning a hole in your tongue.

“I know this idea is out there but,” you choke on the words and realize how ridiculous this sounds.

“What?,” he keeps clicking away at his controller as he played his game, not taking his eyes off the screen. When you don’t answer, he takes a peak over at you and can see you biting your lip so hard it looks like it’ll bleed.

“Stop doing that,” he paused his game and used his thumb to gently pull your lip down from between the grip of your teeth, “What’s going on. It’s just me, Y/N,”

You look to him, twiddling your thumbs and decide it’s all or nothing, if he says no you guys can just forget you ever said anything.

“I need to turn my brain off,” you blurt out.

“Okay?,” he shrugs as if there was nothing to it, “I can have Folio bring some weed by,”

“No, I-,” you throw your face in your hands, cheeks burning as you think about it, “You are in the…. the BDSM scene and I want you to help me turn my brain off,”

His mouth drops in an ‘o’ shape as it clicks what exactly you mean. His hesitation has you feeling so silly. You should have just showered, went home and rubbed one out.

“Sugar, I’m not exactly sure you know what you’re asking for,”

You were his little sugar cube. Too sweet to know exactly what his life entailed behind the scenes. You never really seemed interested in it before. But little did he know, you were just nervous to show it.

He could be mean at the request of his subs during sessions and you were requesting it now but you were his best friend and he didn’t want to cross that line unless you were 110% sure.

“N-no, no I do,”

He’s briefly talked about his sessions enough for it to cause a burning of desire in your gut. You’ve never been in the scene but with the way things are going lately, you just need to be taken care of, to be manhandled and you’d rather do that with someone you trust.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” you mumble, humiliated now that you’d expect your hot, dom, best friend to do that for and to you, “I just made a fool of myself,”

The silence that he was giving after your initial ask was gnawing at your emotions, you just wanted to disappear right now.

“Sugar, it would be an honor but if we do this, there’s no going back because I’m going to want you forever,” his words spilled like the smoothest whiskey on the market. Sure, now this sounds like a typical cliche of friends to lovers but what’s wrong with that? Sometimes things like this are meant to become something more. Maybe that’s why long term relationship never worked for either of you… because you two were it for each other?

“Please,” your voice cracks with need. You had showered while he stayed on the couch playing a video game and yet your body is still tense.

“Follow me,” he stands tall before you, extending a hand in which you take easily. You could already feel some tension relieving from simply holding his hand.

He kept his pace slow, easy for you to keep up with as one of his steps equaled three of yours.

He had a spare bedroom that no one was allowed in, not even you and you guys had been friends for almost a decade now. So when he reached above the door to grab the key, you snatched your hand from his and took a giant step back.

“I can’t go in there,”

“Right, without my consent,” he peaked over his shoulder, “But you have that now and then some,”

You looked at him with wary eyes and he dropped his shoulders with a knowing sigh.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing,” his hands made their way onto your shoulders to deliver a comforting squeeze, “This is the way,”

One of his hands is gently cradling your cheek now and it’s so soothing that you can’t help but lean into it and he notices the way your eyes flutter.

He already knows you’re going to be so good for him tonight.

Noah leans his forehead down to yours and your lips are only a few centimeters a part.

“You trust me… don’t you, Sugar?,”

Immediately weak in the knees, noticing he’s already entering into his persona. You nod feverishly against him.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,”

A gentle peck on your lips has you leaning in for more when he pulls away.

“Take your hands off the wheel and let me drive,” is all he says before turning his back to you to unlock the door.

Time seemed to slow down when he pushed it open, a part of you wanted to close your eyes, still feeling nervous about seeing a space he deemed so private that he kept it locked up. Your hand is in his once more with him pulling you through the threshold as he flicks the light on.

Red fluorescent lights filling your vision.

It smells so good in here and you wonder how, considering what possibly goes down based simply off of what’s in here.

The bed frame looks like one luxurious bird cage, bolted to the floor and a sheer canopy draping over it. There’s bars hanging from the ceiling with cuffs hanging from them.

Open cupboards of different items like floggers, paddles then another filled with masks and gags, one full of toys. There’s a full fridge in here with a clear door and you can see different replenishing beverages and snacks.

This is his sex dungeon

“Something like that,” he spoke aloud.

Realizing your thoughts weren’t kept in your head you avert your gaze to the ground.

“I don’t use it much other than personal uses, any time I have a scene with someone I meet them at theirs. I’ve just been keeping this a secret until I found the one worthy to be in here,”

Your eyes widen as you raise your head to meet his.

“M-me?!,” poking yourself in the chest, “I… you mean me?!,”

His shoulders tremble in soft laughter, shaking his head at your disbelief.

“This entire time, I’ve just been wanting to bring you here but you never expressed any interest in the scene,” he played with your fingers in his grasp, something he always found comfort in doing.

“I didn’t know if you’d take me seriously. I’m not exactly… what comes to mind when someone says they want a submissive,”

“You’re exactly what comes to mind,” he brings you to a plush crimson couch, covered in velvet material. When your ass meets the cushions, he’s reaching to a table beside you to light a candle, bringing it over with him as he lowers himself into his knees before you.

“I’m going to go over a few house rules while I get you relaxed okay?,”

You offer a simple nod and he smirks,

“Rule number one- I always need a verbal answer. I don’t want to leave anything to the imagination and possibly misread body language, got it?,”

Swallowing thickly you nod once more, “I understand,”

“Good girl,” his hands make their way onto your calves, kneading the tight muscles, causing an involuntary moan in which you try to subdue.

“Number two, don’t be shy,” he says plainly, “I know this is new but you know me and I’m here to keep you safe so don’t shy away from me. Be as vocal and as emotional as you need to be,”

“I understand,” you answer once more. Your eyes watch his hands, curious when he picks up the candle, the flame flickering in his eyes.

“Three. Trust that I will never hurt you outside of what you ask for,” he tips the candle and a quiet gasp leaves your lips, quickly turning into a moan when the wax drips onto your tired legs, Noah instantly setting the candle down and massaging it into your skin.

“Pheromone massage candles,” he answered your unasked question.

“Four. I usually go by King during these scenes but since this is new for you I don’t want you to feel detached from me so call me Noah until you feel comfortable, okay?,”

“Y-yes,” your eyes cross slightly while his thumbs work into the sore soles of your feet. This was helping so much and just from this simple interaction, your core is buzzing already.

“Five. If you need to stop or directions are not okay or unclear- speak up. I’m going to need you to pick a safeword for me,”

You squirm on the couch, becoming putty in his hands as they move from your feet to your calves and now your thighs.

“Kingdom,” you answer with ease, if he goes by King might as well make it coordinate right?

“Good one,” he plants a kiss by your knee, “Rule six, no negative self talk or thoughts. I may degrade you but I will always follow it up with praise. You are loved and cared about, you understand me?,”

“I understand,” you nod.

“Seven. Have fun and let go. We are here together so remember I will always catch you,”

With his last rule he spreads your thighs, squeezing them to get a reaction out of you.

“Do you have any rules for me?,” eyes dark yet caring in the red glow.

“Don’t hold back,” an embarrassing whimper escapes, “I know I’m a rookie but I can take it and I know you’ll take care of me just…,”

Your hands grab his, holding them tight so he knows how bad you need this.

“Just don’t hold back. I need it, I know I’m safe so I just need you to hurt me, I need you to help me turn my brain off and surrender myself to you,”

Your words from earlier echoed in Noah’s head and he thought they were a crock of shit.

I’m not exactly what comes to mind when someone says they want a submissive

Bullshit. You were perfect.

He wipes his hands on a towel that he kept on the table with the candle, setting it and the candle back in their original spot when he was finished.

His hands are now sheltering your face because he can see your mind is still running a million miles a minute.

“What do you need from me right now?,”

You were embarrassed to say it.

“What were rules 2 and 7, Sugar?,” his voice pulled you from your own thoughts.

“To not be shy and to let go,”

He nodded in understanding, “So why are you breaking my rules and overthinking?,”

God, he was so good at this. The twinge of disappointment in his tone had your heart aching, you wanted to be good.

“Can.. c-can you smack me?,” your voice was barely a whisper and you knew he wouldn’t let that slide.

“Speak up, baby. Closed mouths don’t get fed,” his thumbs were rubbing such comforting circles on your cheeks, you couldn’t help but oblige.

“I need you to smack me,” it wasn’t a plea, it was a declaration.

Noah just reads your face. Studying your expression to see if there’s any doubt, any hesitation. He stands you up and then he leans in to kiss you with a sort of need that you’ve never been kissed with before. You two are breathing heavily in between and you can barely keep up. Your hands tangled in his shirt, pulling him closer, just wanting him to consume you.

He pulls away but before you can protest, you feel the searing heat of his open palm meeting your cheek. A gasp of surprise comes from you and yet again you’re left with no time to react when he does it again.

“Fuck,” you mewl, “More,”

He answers your demand with a little more power behind this one, the pain feeling so good you almost fall to your knees but luckily, he held you upright.

“Turn it off,” he says through clenched teeth, smacking you once more. If you were naked you know for a fact you’d be dripping down your legs, “Turn it off, Sugar. I see you trying,”

Hand on your neck, he’s pushing you backward and each step is another slap until he pins you to the wall, you can feel your eyes burn as the tears of desire being to rise.

You need this so bad.

“I said. Turn,” a harder slap, “It. Off!!,” with one more smack, you’re practically howling at how exceptional it felt, eyes closed as you welcome the sting that lingered on your flesh, feeling the heat running down to your neck and up to your temples.

Your head feels like you’re in limbo and when you open your eyes, he can see the change in yours and you can see the change in his.

You’re both in your designated positions. He has his hands on the wheel now. Your brain was off and the part of you that needed to be taken care of has entered the chat, the stressed version was locked away in a dark cell of your mind and would stay there until it was time to let her out.

“There she goes,” his hand soothed your cheek and you were liquid in his hands

“Thank you,” doe eyes shining up at him, he feels so proud of himself.

“Oh baby, it’s my pleasure,” he cooed, “Can you be good and undress for me?,”

“Can you help?,” your body was feeling fuzzy, like you had a few shots and were floating now. You felt like if you tried to undress yourself you’d topple over.

“Of course,” he felt gratified to be asked.

One article of clothing at a time until you were bare in front of him, pinned against the crimson paint on the wall.

“How are we doing? You okay?,” a kiss planted to your neck, his large hands running up and down your body had you sighing in content.

“On cloud nine,” you answer dreamily. You were in a daze, this room felt like your own amusement park now.

A room you once weren’t allowed in because this is his sanctuary. How many others were close to being brought here? How many others did he put in a hypnotic state?

“Put her away,” his gruff voice echoed in your ears, “She doesn’t get to come back. Lock it away,”

He could tell through your body language that you were starting to overthink again.

“Do we need to stop?,”

“No,” rearing back to look him in his eyes so he can see how bad you truly need and want this, “No. It’s turned off,”

“That’s what I need to hear,”

He brings you back over to the couch you were on a few minutes ago but this time he’s sitting on the cushion and he’s positioning you over his lap.

“Think you can handle a few spanks?,”

“Uh huh!,” excitement coursing through your veins, body jolting when you feel his lips press against the supple flesh that he was soon about to tenderize.

But first, he had to feel you. He has to feel your wetness coat his fingers. So his fingers trace figures on the back of your thighs and you’re jutting your ass up to get him to touch you, he delivers a light smack as a warning.

“Patience,” is all he speaks. Slowly but surely, his middle finger swipes your clit and lightly presses into your entrance.

He pulls a long drawn out moan from you when he fully pushes his finger inside. A quiet growl emits from his chest and your toes are curling.

“Noah pleeeeaaase,” you grip his calves, eyes rolling at his slow movement of removing his finger and reinserting it.

“What do you need, Sugar?,” you could hear the smile in his tone. The way he was speaking to you and touching you just made the anxiety melt away.

“Wanna feel your fingers. Always wanted to feel your fingers,” you couldn’t help but be unapologetically honest. For years you’ve watched his hands and how he talks with them, how he uses them to hold multiple things at once, how he sucks on them when he gets ice cream or ranch on them.

But until now you’ve always buried your desires deep.

“Oh yeah?,” without a warning, he’s stretching you open and you’re bracing yourself against his thighs, spreading your legs as open as possible so you’re not falling off his lap.

“You feel so good, Sugar,” he affirms, “So wet for me, so fucking warm,”

His fingers were reaching so deep it was intoxicating, never having experienced anyone with fingers as long as his has you going cross eyed.

“Thank you, Noah!!!,” your walls pulsing around his middle and ring fingers while his free hand soothed your ass cheeks before taking a big strike against them, the sound of his palm meeting your flesh bouncing off the walls.

“You’re so welcome, baby,” he picks up the pace of his fingers and he can feel the way you’re trying to get friction on your clit.

“Nuh uh,” he spanks you once more, “Be good, take what I give you,”

“Please,” singing a beautiful tune, you just want to let go for him, you want to crumble in his lap, you want him to feel what he does to you.

“Please what?,” another strike on your ass and another curl of his fingers inside you.

“W-wanna cum for you,”

“Is that right?,” there’s that teasing tone again, it makes you feel small but it only tightens the coil in your core. He moves his fingers with expertise inside of you and you think you’re about to orgasm strictly off of penetration which is rare for you. You almost always need clitoral stimulation.

“Please. Please. Wanna be good for you, wanna let go for you,”

You two have only just begun and you’re already a mess. You can hear the squelching, you can hear your heart thumping in your ears, you’re trembling.

You’re a fucking mess in his grasp.

“I think we should make your first one easy enough to earn,” he observed, positioning his knee right under your pelvis, adding the perfect amount of pressure as his fingers stroked the deepest depths of you.

“C‘mon, Sugar. Give it to me. Let it out,”

Your nails are digging into his calf and you’re drooling, rocking back into him but he didn’t mind this time, he’s enjoys seeing how desperate you are to cum, not just for yourself but for him.

You want to offer all you can to him. All of your emotions, all of your whimpers and cries, your mind, body and spirit.

“I’m gonna… can I cum, Noah? Please”

He gives a hum of approval and he can feel it, he watched your body swell with a deep breath and watched it deflate as you let out the most beautiful, guttural moan he’s ever heard.

His fingers halt their movements inside of you and he makes sure to rub your back to bring you back down.

“You’re okay,” a soft murmur leaves his lips while he slowly removes his fingers from your soaked hole, sitting you up and repositioning you in his lap so you’re straddling him.

“Be good and open for me,”

You follow his directions and bask in the glory of his fingers pressing down on your tongue, making you taste yourself. You collect your flavor but before you can close your mouth and swallow it down, he’s pushing his tongue into your mouth to taste you.

Your eyes instantly roll in the back of your head, relishing the taste of his mouth sharing the taste of you.

“Need you,” you pull away, hands cupping his face as if he’s made of glass, “Always needed you,”

His gaze softens for a moment, letting you know that ‘regular’ Noah hears you, that it’s not just his persona hearing those words.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he purred, “You have me, Sugar. Just as I have you,”

With ease, he lifts you up and walks with you to the cupboards.

“Pick a toy, a gag and a restraint and come to the bed when you’ve made your decision,” a kiss is given to your temple and he walks away, leaving you to make your choices without any pressure. He grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and makes his way to the bed.

He has so many trinkets to choose from. He just stock piled all of this stuff until he found the one? He really is a stickler for this kind of thing.

After some careful self-deliberation, you grabbed your chosen items and made your way over to him. Noah sat patiently within the doorway of the cage-like bed.

“I chose these,” you offer them to him and he gave an intrigued ‘hmph’

A rose, a silicone bar gag and wrist-to-thigh cuffs.

“Good choices, baby” standing up and kissing your forehead, he moves out of the way so you can see the bed. Silk red sheets, chains hanging from the bars, and the sheer canopy keeping secrets in with just a glimpse of what was to come.

“Climb up,” he pats your ass and you do just that, at a leisure pace so he can get a good view of you from behind. When you sit flat, you see him entering and closing the door behind him.

This feels much more intimate than just any ole bedroom. The lighting, the enclosed space, all of it made you feel closer to Noah.

“Before we start, take a drink for me,”

“But I’m okay,”

“Did I ask that?,” he tilts his head, eyes squinting as if to tell you ‘watch it.’

“I’m sorry,”

He cracks open the bottle and holds it to your lips, giving you a knowing look as if to say ‘I told you so’ when you drink down half the bottle.

When you’re finish he sets it to the side and hovers over you until you’re laying back on your elbows, eyes not leaving his.

“How are we doing? You still okay?,”

“I’m perfect, Noah,” a tender smirk made its way into your face, “I know I’m safe,” you assure.

“Are you okay? I know this kind of thing takes time, just don’t want you to feel pressured,” you inquire.

“There you go overthinking,” he kisses your neck, “For you, it’s easy to turn on. You never took notice to how I always took control? No matter what we did?,”

He’s got a point. Any time you two went out grocery shopping because you were anxious and didn’t want to go alone, he hooked his arm with yours, took your list and did all the shopping. Any time you two went out to the movies, he’s picking your snacks and drinks and doing all the talking. A hand on the small of your back each time you two were out, always helping you zip up your dresses or fastening your necklaces.

It was subtle, but it was always there.

“I was made for you. I was made to take care of you,” he continues his trail of kisses, planting them wherever he pleases, “And you let me. Which means you were always mine,”

A relaxed sigh is released at his words. He’s right and you know it.

“So, knowing this. I’m more than okay and am filled with joy of knowing that I get to break you and put you back together again, over and over,”

Bucking your hips up wasn’t a good idea, considering he pinned them down and got your restraints ready.

“I need this. Noah, please I need you” a shameful cry bounces off the bars of the enclosure you found yourself in.

“I know,” he growled, fastening your hands into the cuffs and attaching the other bands to each thigh. With your hands tied to your thighs now, you wouldn’t be able to touch him.

“You need me to wreck you. To hurt you so that the stressors of your everyday light aren’t plaguing your brain for once,”

He squeezes your cheeks so your lips are parted and lifts your head up to move your hair out of the way so he can tighten the gag.

You looked so beautiful like this.

“I’m here to give you just that,” he grabs the rose, “I don’t care how many orgasms it takes. I’m going to reduce you to nothing and fill you back up with worth again. I will end you and resuscitate you over and over again until you’ve had enough. Is that understood?,”

“Yeth,” you slur around the gag.

“Good,” on his knees, between your legs, he turns the rose on and the low hum fills the space, he leans forward to spit on your nipples before placing the opening of the toy over your harden buds, your back swiftly arching off the bed with a moan around the silicone.

He’s at this for a while, just teasing your nipples, biting at your jawline, groaning in your ear until you’re leaking onto the silk sheets.

You’re begging around the gag but he just teasingly looks at you as if he can’t understand you. But he knows. He knows where you need him.

“It’s a lot, are you sure you can handle it on your clit?,” he smirks so devilishly it’s almost scary. But the twinge of fear makes you ache.

“Mmhmm mmhm!,” already drooling around the bar, you nod feverishly, just wanting to feel something, no, needing to feel something.

You get what you desire when he sits back up on his heels to spread your legs even wider to get a perfect view of your swollen clit, glistening as your arousal is painted all over your core.

When he finally attaches the toy to your clit, your toes are curling, your eyes are rolling and your back is arching.

Maybe you weren’t ready for this, maybe you should have gotten a wand or something.

“Relax,” he says simply, using his own legs to pin yours down.

“Breathe, Sugar. Just breathe. Look at me,” he sees the way your eyes are swimming with tears and it brings him satisfaction, especially when your chest is trembling from him keeping the buzzing toy on your sensitive bundle.

“It’s a lot, I know but I wouldn’t give you more than you could handle,”

He slowly inhaled with you, guiding you to calm you down but it was just too much, so much that you’re already cumming and groaning behind the gag which causes Noah to darkly chuckle.

But he keeps it there. He keeps the rose there and you’re convulsing under him when he sinks his fingers into your messy core.

“That was pathetic,” he looked into your eyes, “And you didn’t even ask,”

He got so much amusement out of your whimpers, how the hell were you supposed to ask with a gag in your mouth?! But maybe that’s the point? It’s a set up for him to milk you as a form of torture.

It was sadistic but, you were the masochist after all.

“You’re so creamy,” he said in a daze, absolutely obsessed with the way you’re painting his fingers, your walls pulsing around his appendages as if they’re trying to draw them in and keep them there.

“Noaaaaaaahh!!,” your cries muffled, your face so wet from the tears and the spit but Noah finds it beautiful, if he could, he’d paint how you looked right now and frame it, get it tattooed even.

“You can do it. You asked for this, remember?” His eyes rolled at the feeling of his fingers deep inside, drenched in your offering, his tattoos glistening, catching his eye in the ruby lighting. He just wanted to be bottomed out in you already.

You’re calling for him from around the gag, breasts shaking as you’re overcome with yet another blinding climax. Your nails dig into your thighs, just wanting to dig them into Noah’s instead and pull him toward you. You wanted him, you craved him.

“Sshhhh. You’re okay, Sugar. You’re doing so well for me,” he picked himself up off your legs and grabbed a rag to wipe the spit that dribbled down your chin, “I’m gonna turn you over, need you to give me one more before you have me. One more and we can take the cuffs and gag off okay?,”

Sitting you up, his hand supporting the back of your head as he checks over you, making sure you’re okay.

“Do you need anything? A break, water?,” he breaks character for a moment

With a verbal “Nuh uh” behind the bar, you let him position you like a Barbie, letting him move your legs, manually arching your back and propping a pillow under your head so you were comfy and could breathe.

You feel him leave open mouthed kisses on your ass, biting the pillowy skin just to hear you hum in delight.

“Can’t wait to give you what you want,” Noah positions himself under you so he can stare right up at your leaking heat, no matter the angle, it was a mesmerizing sight to see, “But first, I just need to taste you.”

He exasperated in desperation before using his hands to grab your ass, bringing you down and lifting his head to feast.

Your fists are clenching in your restraint and your moans are flowing from your chest like a river. His tongue worked your overstimulated clit, suckling and licking. He ate as if you were the finest delicacy, trying to savor but also consuming you with greed.

Your body just responded to him without a fight, you were his puppet and he pulled the strings but you happily danced for him, giving him what he wanted. Yet again you feel his fingers push into you, you’d never get enough of his fingers, he knew how to use them and he knew how to use you. You were a howling mess against the pillow when you feel your next orgasm approaching. How did he expect you to stay up like this? Your legs felt like jelly and you were falling a part.

“You can do it, baby. I feel it. You’re almost there,” he murmured against your pussy, “One more and you can have what you want but you gotta show me you want it,”

Oh God did you want it, and bad! Your head felt fuzzy, your body was playing tug of war, fighting between it being too much versus you wanting it.

You gave in. Pussy pulsing, chest burning from hyperventilating and muscles aching. Despite it all, you’re cumming for him again, giving into your deep craving to just be his doll.

“You’re such a good fucking girl,” he cheers, drinking you in. He pulls himself away to position you on your back, quickly working to remove your restraints and gag.

“Sit up for me, Sugar,”

Your head lulling to the side, both of you giggling about it. He has you drink some more water and cleans your face with the towel again.

“I’m ready,” it was a simple whisper, “Show me what I’ve been missing. Please, King,”

The title takes Noah by surprise. He thought it would take a few sessions to get you fully under his spell but, you truly were for him. You were ready to bow to him, to fulfill every quest he bestowed upon you.

It kind of pulled at his heart strings. Whenever he was out in the scene he only cared about showing the subs a good time, a time for him and them to release and never see each other again. But this, this was euphoria.

“Lie down for me,” he hums, taking off his lounge wear and boxers so he’s bare just like you are.

He was a beautiful man to begin with but to see him like this in all his glory? It had you feeling like royalty. Others got to see him, yes, but you… only you get to see him.

He makes sure you’re comfortable before he inches forward, the tip nudging your clit and he grabbed your hands when you flinched away at the contact, lacing his fingers between yours.

“Don’t run away from me,” his lips were so plump, glistening with his spit and you just know they still taste like you.

“Call it before I ruin you,” he gave you one more chance.

“Do it” it wasn’t a teasing phrase. You wanted it. You have yearned long enough and now your wish is his command. His pins your clasped hand to the bed and takes your free hand, guiding it to his cock.

“Take it,” he ordered.

He was a perfect mix of girth and length, a mouth water red tip that shines with precum, two prominent veins, yeah- he was going to destroy you.

You couldn’t help but stroke him, watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes closed gently, this is the face of a King all right. Scooting closer to him, not wanting to leave any space, you slapped his tip against your own clit, the breath of both of you hitching in tandem. The noises that emitted from between the two of you, while you rubbing him against your entrance, were sinful.

“Show me what you’ve been wanting. Show me how bad you need me,” he growls, hiking both of your legs around his waist.

You guide him into you slowly, the eyes of both of you going wide, rejoicing in the way he fit in you like a missing puzzle piece, filling you up to make you whole.

“Fuck!,” choking on your own spit, the heels of your feet pulled him in so he could bottom out. You needed to catch your breath because you know once he gets started, you’ll lose it again. He drew in a shaky breath, bewitched by how good you feel.

“Give it to me,” you squeeze his hand, “Make me yours. I want to be yours. Ple- Oooooh fuck!!,”

His hips drew back and snapped into you, cutting you off as the pleasure drowns you. He kept the stacattoed pace, just taking in your expressions.

But then he saw the way you looked at him, it was a look of complete surrender, a look that says “I love you, I trust you”

It was a look to tell him to let go.

So, he used his free hand to take your thigh and press it back so your knee was almost touching your chest. This wasn’t Noah, the King was here and he was going to show you exactly why he was given that title.

You’re pinned beneath him from all angles and it’s overwhelming. His chain dangling in your face with each thrust, his voice smooth like suede as he talks you through it.

“Just like that, pretty girl. Take what I give you,”

Your moans slipped out like a hot knife to butter, he was fucking you through the mattress, bodies tangled and noises echoing through the room, he was making you melt.

“S-so fucking good!!,” the tears were spilling from your eyes and he just kissed them away without missing a beat.

“I know, Sugar,” he bows his head into your neck to leave a trail of bites, sinking his teeth into your dewy skin, your cries of surprise being music to his ears. You welcomed the pain of his biting, he had beautiful teeth and you always wondered what it would feel like for him to bite you. You don’t care if any marks are left. You’re his, he can leave marks for you to brandish all he wants.

“I’m so proud of you,” he grunted into your ear, “Coming to me all vulnerable, wanting me to take care of you and now you’re taking it like the good little slut you always wanted to be,”

“Please!,” your free hand tangles in his hair, your other makes crescent shaped dents in the back of his hand that held yours, “Please, fuck! Don’t stop!,”

Noah lifts his head to see the spaced out look in your eyes, half lidded and dick drunk. He never thought he’d see you like this.

“Please what? Use your words,” he pulls back from you to watch the look of despair on your face when he slows down.

Your words are caught in your throat, finding it hard to make a coherent sentence.

“Please, what, Sugar? Don’t make me ask again” He lets your leg go to grab the bar of the caged bed above your head, preparing to pick up his pace when you admit what you need.

“W-wanna cum around your cock,” it was a strong wail, one of pure carnal desire.

“You need it that bad?,” he teases.

“King, please. I need it so bad!!,”

The wind is knocked out of you as he sets his pace, rolling his hips, the tip of his cock rubbing against every sensitive spot within you, causing you both to be vocal. A harmony unmatched. His whimpers fueling you to make it to the finish line. He wasn’t ashamed of the noises he made, especially because he saw how they impacted you.

He let go of your hand and smacked you just like he did earlier, eyes rolling once again as the heat only adds to the pleasure.

“More, please, please, please!!,”

“Such a dirty fucking slut. Getting off to her King slapping her around like a rag doll,” he smacked you again, earning another loud cry from you, he could feel just how much you love it, he can feel it when you clench around him each time his hand meets your cheek.

“Yes, yes,” your eyes never left his, not shying away.

“You like it when it hurts?,” another slap delivered, “You like it when it hurts knowing I’ll make it all better?,”

“Fuck!,” the tears just keep spilling but he knows they’re tears of release, of pleasure, they’re tears for him. Another offering to the King.

“I’m gonna make it all better, Sugar. Just keep being good and taking it, okay?,”

“Y-yes,”

He grabs your cheeks, squishing them together again so his tongue can slide in your mouth effortlessly. Teeth clashing, spit being swapped, the energy between you two was potent, a potion that you’d keep coming back for, drinking it down without being asked.

“I wanna cum for you,” biting his bottom lip, you pull back with a fucked out smirk on your face, “I wanna make a mess. I wanna show you that I’m worthy,”

“I already know that you are, baby,” his thumb tracing small circles onto your clit, his other releasing the bar and coming to wrap around your neck, “I know you’re my pretty little slut who will do anything to stay in my good graces,”

When his hand began to squeeze at your neck you were done for. Your moans came out in tremors, you were clutching onto him in anywhere you can. You groan at the loss of contact on your clit until his thumb is replaced with the same toy he wrecked you with earlier.

“You’re gonna take this toy from me. You’re going to be a good girl for your King and make yourself cum on my cock. You hear me?,” his voice was dangerously low now, letting you know there was no negotiation.

With a shaking hand you snake your hand between the two of you, grabbing the bulbous toy from him and holding it against yourself despite your body telling you to pull away.

“You’re doing great, baby,” he assures, a soft kiss placed on your lips, “Just focus on me. I’m right here,”

He was so close now. One hand on your throat and the other holding the back of your head, pressing your foreheads together.

“My King,” you gasp, chest heaving as you feel yourself ready to fall off the edge.

“I’m gonna catch you. I’m always going to catch you, baby,”

Your eyes stared deeply into his and you just sobbed, needing this more than anything and you just cried. Getting fucked within an inch of your life so good you’re crying was not something you expected to happen considering your past endeavors with men who only cared about getting their own rocks off.

“I know. I know,” he’s still driving his hips deep into you and you’re circling the toy lightly on your swollen, cum soaked bud, you were almost there.

“Give it to me, Sugar. Give me what you owe me,”

And that was all she wrote.

With one deep gasp to fill your lungs he delivers a strong thrust, your fingers trembling around the toy so hard you accidentally turned it up to the next level and you were done for.

You practically screamed as Noah siphoned your orgasm out of you. You were shuddering beneath him as he kept thrusting, still talking you through it.

“You’re okay. You did so good for me, I’m right here. Fuck!”

With one last searing kiss, Noah is stilling his movements, emptying himself inside of you, both of you practically giving each other mouth to mouth CPR as you try to catch your breath. His head has fallen in the crook of your neck and your eyes are fighting to stay open.

“You can come back down now. Come back to me,” he mutters.

You slowly regain all your senses back. Taking in your surroundings and what just happened. As everything hits you, your cries echo in the room.

“Hey,” Noah is quick to sit both of you up and set you in his lap, “What’s going on in that head of yours?,”

Swallowing your cries and wiping your eyes you search for him, eyes connecting, the same beautiful brown eyes you could point out in any crowd.

“Thank you,” is all you say, “I needed that. More than you know,”

He smiles in relief, worried that the scene had somehow upset you.

“We got to get you cleaned up. We’ve got some aftercare to do and some things to talk about,”

Once both of you were all bathed, Noah took the time to moisturize your skin, apply soothing lotion to your ass and even being gentle in doing your skincare routine for you.

Once he has you curled up in his bed, he went to go clean the other room and brought back some snacks and water with electrolyte packets.

He takes it upon himself to feed you all while affirming how good you were. That you’re loved and cared for, not wanting to leave any room for doubt to sneak in.

“You okay to talk?,” he questions.

You sit up against the headboard, worried about what this talk can pertain to.

“I see the cogs turning, relax,” he soothes, “If you want this like I want this we need to talk,”

“I want this,” you answer definitively. He can’t help but laugh at your excitement.

“I know it’s a little too late to say that I don’t want to rush into things but, I’d like to rewind a bit and start at square one,”

“And that is?,”

“A date,” he answers simply. Sure you’ve gone on friend dates all the time but this is different, this is serious, “I want to build it from the ground up. I know we’ve been friends for ages and have built trust but this is different and I want to build a stronger foundation because I want this to work,”

You take in his words, listening as he goes over his requests and needs for the relationship. You gave him your own list of demands and found yourselves giddy at the fact that yes, you two are a living cliche.

But who cares?

It was you and Noah against the world now.

Til Kingdom Come.

This idea was burning in my head for ages and I had to write it!!

Please be sure to reblog and comment if you enjoyed, thank you for your support!! 🥹

~Berry 🫐

tags: @lma1986 @thisbicc @theroyaldixon @whatitsdecending

[magnificentstrawberryomen]

halloween party (noah sebastian x reader)

18+, mdni, nsfw, Ghostface and Halloween-themed

It is October 31st, meaning it is both Halloween and my room mate Noah’s birthday. Every year we celebrate it at the same time, along with me, the rest of the band and some other friends and crew-members.

I start to get ready, and I had decided I wanted to be an attractive vampire this year for Halloween. I wear a fancy white blouse with a black leather corset on top, with rose detailed designs on it, making it look chic like and perfect for the costume. Underneath that I wear a short leather skirt, black thin tights and long, warm black socks for over my matching leather boots, detailed with spikes and chains. My black hair is styled a bit messy and my make up is dark with red, matching with the blood colored lipstick on my lips, that I smug a bit on the edges. When I look at the reflection of the mirror, I look satisfied and am ready for the party.

When I leave my room to head downstairs, I hear Noah's door open and close, making me smile in excitement.

“Hey birthday guy—“

I want to greet him, but as soon as I see what he is dressed up this year, which is Ghostface, I am stuck in my tracks. My lips part as I slightly swallow, my eyes taking in Noah, feeling my cheeks slowly flush. No way he is dressed up as Ghostface, my all time favorite horror character, someone I secretly swoon about sometimes, since I might… have a thing for masks.

Noah clearly notices me eyeing him up and down, as he then amusingly asks, “Like what you see, y/n?” His voice is a bit muffled by the mask.

“Eh, yeah, you—you look very cool as Ghostface,” I stumble, swallowing once again, quickly tucking strands of hair behind my ear as I then move past him, downstairs down to the kitchen, making me suddenly very aware how short my skirt is again as I move.

He follows me down to the kitchen, feeling his stare burning behind me, feeling like it's completely taking me in, making me heat up even more.

“When will the others arrive again?” I then ask once we are in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of our fridge and taking some quick gulps. Our kitchen and living room is decorated and in the Halloween spirit, something I loved to do for Noah since I love both decorating and Halloween.

Noah stands next to me, and I notice a slight smile present on his face under the mask by the bright lights in the kitchen, looking around at my decorations as well. “You have outdid yourself this year once again,” he comments, before remembering my question. “They should be here in like 20 minutes.”

I smile up at him, appreciating his compliment. “Thank you, always try my best.”

I turn to put the bottle back into the fridge, and when I then turn back around to Noah again, his mask is off, revealing his messy hair that is slightly pulled back, and in combination with the gloves and robe he is wearing I almost choke in my own breath.

“Jesus Christ,” I then mumble underneath my breath as a I move myself to the couch before I can embarass myself even more.

Noah and I have been roommates for a year now, being kind enough to rent and share his space with me, and if I’m being honest I have found him attractive from the start. But since we became good friends and he is mostly away on the road with his band, I decided to let the possibility of something more blooming between us go.

Noah lets out a low chuckle as he notices me looking flustered as he sits down right beside me, clearly being very much aware of the effect he has on me. “You okay?” he asks, a slight smile on his face as he tilts his head at me.

“Yeah,” I mumble, as I then watch him for a moment, my eyes ranking down to his costume again. “I can imagine that being warm inside,” I then nod to his outfit, flushing once again, so I quickly flick my eyes down to my lap. Damn, I hate being so flustered so fucking easily—I shouldn’t and I know that it’s wrong, but he looks even ten times hotter with that damn costume on.

He raises an eyebrow at my comment. “You’re not wrong,” he shrugs, before he lets his eyes move down to my outfit as well.

“I can imagine yours is a bit heavy as well,” he then comments, his eyes raking over my corset.

“Oh, it's okay,” I shrug with a sheepish smile, looking down at my white blouse and corset on top. “There’s a chance that I’ll take the blouse from underneath the corset off later this evening though, since the house will be pretty crowded and stuff.”

Noah nods slowly at my statement, the image seeming to flash before his eyes for a moment. “Maybe I should take my robe off for the same reason,” he then jokingly comments, winking in my direction, before he gets up from the couch again, heading to the kitchen to get himself something to drink.

Oh, you definitely should, I mentally think to myself, feeling heated by his wink, and then quickly shake the thought away in embarrassment.

Twenty minutes later, Noah’s friends and band members arrive, all wishing him a happy birthday and some of my friends join us later. Even though Noah insisted that he did not want some special moment with a cake and candles he had to blow out, we of course did exactly that, and even though he rolled his eyes and pretended to be grumpy with his arms crossed in front of his chest, I could tell by the sparkle in his eyes that he secretly enjoyed it.

Later that evening, I’m sitting on the couch talking with some friends, laughing and drinking, and I feel Noah stealing some glances from me sometimes, making me blush and I stare back whenever I have the confidence. Now he just smugly smiles a bit, leaning against the counter with his Ghostmask off again, gloves wrapped around his beer, and my mind already goes to the most unholiest things so quickly—how the cold of the leather gloves would feel around my throat for example—

I clear my throat and quickly shake the thoughts away, trying to concentrate on the conversation with my friends again, mentally slapping myself against the head. I'm the worst.

But then, I feel someone sitting next to me, and almost jump when it's Noah, looking at me with an amused expression and some glint in his eyes that I can’t quite unravel yet.

“Noah,” I smile, “hi.”

He lifts his beer at me in a greeting gesture before smirking and turning his full attention to me. “How are you enjoying the party, Little Vampire?” he asks, coming up with a nickname right there on the spot, making me both blush in amusement and flattery.

He then leans back into the couch with a slight grin, before taking a sip from his drink. “Nice to see you didn’t cover your neck tonight.”

I can’t help but chuckle at his little joking comment. “Well, could say the same about the people around me, right? Need something to feed from after all,” I joke back.

He amusingly laughs at my remark, for sure noticing the redness once again spreading across my cheeks by the way his eyes seem to gleam even more.

Noah then leans in a little, making me let out an uncontrollable nervous breath, his eyes lingering on my lips for a moment before he looks into my eyes again, a mischievous glint now in his own dark ones.

“But have you found someone to feed of off yet? You’ve been eyeing me all night I’ve noticed.”

My eyes widen a little as he says that, my heart racing up a little, and I sheepishly smile at him.

“Have I? Oh—“

I blink as I don't know how to get the words out of my throat for a moment, and then proceed to quickly shake my head as my blush keeps spreading on my face, answering his question. “I have not found someone yet to feed, no—“

A smirk plays on Noah's lips as he notices my reaction, deciding to take it one step further. “Well you know… since it’s my birthday, I can give you a gift…” he then whispers into my ear.

Goosebumps appear on my skin as heat spreads now almost everywhere in my body at this point, and I slightly gasp at the feeling of one of his leather gloves then sliding up on my thigh.

“Aren’t people supposed to give you a gift when its their birthday?” I then answer back, looking at him through my lashes, the feeling of him squeezing the flesh of my thigh as well already unraveling so much inside of me already.

He lets out a playful hum, letting his hand travel further up now to my hip. He leans even more forward, his dark brown eyes trained on my lips again first before looking back into my eyes.

Then to my surprise he brushes his lips past my ear, his breath grazing my skin, making me hold my own. “Well… my birthday wish from you is to give me what you want most.”

A shaky breath escapes from my with red, blood colored painted lips, and I slightly turn my head to his face so our noses slightly brush against each other, faces dangerously close, making me able to feel his soft breathing through his nose brushing against my face.

I decide its now or never, wanting to take this chance, wanting him.

“How about you help a helpless vampire out and be my victim for tonight?” I whisper back, smiling slightly.

A slight grin forms on Noah's face as he hears my request. Leaning back a little he locks eyes with me for a moment before standing up, holding out his hand. “Follow me.”

With both nerves and excitement I take his hand, letting him pull me along towards the staircase that leads up to our apartments bedrooms, my heart pounding in my chest as we walk up side by side.

My mind is already spinning with nerves, desire and excitement. As soon as we reach his bedroom, he closes it behind us once we are in, and when he places his Ghostface mask back on his face again my eyes slightly widen, and the arousal between my legs begins to spread. Oh, he knows what he’s doing.

Then, Noah grabs me and pins me against his door, his hands resting behind me on each side of my body. He tilts my head at him, the mask making him look somewhat scary and yet mysterious—mysterious enough for me to become more flustered than ever. His eyes wander down to my lips, seeing the need to press them against mine but he clearly wants the game to continue first, just a little bit longer—by sliding his knee up between my legs, resting between my thighs.

I whimper as he does that, heart racing even more, and I need to hold onto his biceps for support because of the heat already being spread between my thighs, making me light headed with desire—and of course his biceps feel hard and trained, just like they normally already look like, and it makes me ache for him even more.

Noah smirks at the feeling of me holding onto him. “Already so needy and wanting for me,” he says into my ear, his hands sliding down my sides, feeling the lace of my corset underneath his fingers. He presses up against me with his knee to gain a little bit more friction against my core, making me let out another gasp.

“Noah,” I can’t help but gasp out his name, making me flush a little.

He leans his face against my neck, slowly taking off his mask again to let his lips hovering over my skin, his breath grazing the area gently, before pressing a small peck to the skin. “I can only imagine the sounds I can get out of you tonight.”

His teeth tug at my earlobe, before moving down towards my jawline, placing another kiss there. I groan, then wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him even more against me, making me able to feel his excitement growing, and it makes everything inside of me flush and heat up, and the desire for him grow. The thought that I’m the one that makes him feel this needy, makes me feel even more worked up.

Noah's hips push against mine, his head now buried in my neck, kissing the skin, even teasingly biting the skin at various places, not hard enough to cause any real harm, but enough to cause red marks that’ll stay for a while.

“Aren’t I the vampire here though?” I can’t help but teasingly grin at that.

Pulling his face out from my neck he looks into my eyes, the corners of his lips pulling up into a smirk as I say that. “I think you’re forgetting that tonight is my birthday, not yours, little vampire, and I get to do what I want… and right now, all I want is you.” He leans in towards my face, his lips just inches away from mine—so close, yet so far.

“And this is only the beginning of your gift to me.”

My doe eyes widen as I look up to him, eager and desperate, and I still stubbornly lean to his neck despite his words, placing a few kisses before marking some bits of his skin. I feel him shiver underneath my touch, a low groan escaping his lips, making my heart beat even faster.

When I pull back with a smug smile, I say, “Vampires still need to be fed, birthday or not.”

He takes a small step back from me, his dark eyes raking over my body slowly, a smirk creeping on his face. “Take off the corset.”

The fast beating of my heart goes up to the pulse of my neck as he asks me that, a confirmation of where I hoped this night between us would go, and I quickly nod as I then take off the corset, leaving me in just my thin white blouse, revealing the outline of my chest, and a fire builds up in the pit of my stomach by the way he watches my every move.

Noah then takes a slow step towards me, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me close towards him, hips rubbing against mine again. I start to breathe heavily, hands trembling as I feel nervous yet excited.

Lifting my chin, he presses kisses to my jawline again, nipping at the skin here and there as well and it makes me softly moan, the other hand slowly moving up to my chest, as it goes underneath the fabric of my blouse. I enjoy the feeling of his warm, large hand there, making a ragged breath escape from my lips.

His fingers graze across my collarbone, feeling my skin underneath, and the touch is so light, almost like a feather is touching me. His lips trace up from my neck to my ear, nibbling on my earlobe gently again. Then, he takes a step back, my eyes locked with his, before he speaks.

“Get on the bed, now.”

I eagerly nod at him, walking towards his bed, sitting down at it and already taking and kicking off my own boots without him having to ask me to, since I’m getting desperate and needy for him by the minute—I’ve fantasized about a moment like this for embarrassingly too long, and now that it’s finally happening I want it now.

Noah then watches me lay down on his bed, eyes raking over my frame, taking in what was going to be his gift for tonight. He walks over to me before straddling my hips, taking his gloves off with his teeth before letting them fall onto the ground. The sight of him doing that makes my eyes nearly pop out, it being one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.

Leaning down, Noah places teasing kisses on my cheek, then jaw, and slowly moving down to my neck again, his hands working on unbuttoning my blouse. His lips kiss every little part of exposed skin down from my neck, to my collarbones and then down to my chest, making me whimper and shift my hips against the mattress in anticipation—and I already feel like I'm getting taken to cloud nine.

He lets his tongue run across my skin, tasting me as he unbuttons the last few buttons of my blouse, making me gasp. He pushes the fabric off my arms and down onto the floor, then pulling back, looking down and taking in the sight of my skin and exposed chest. He licks his lips as his hands glide up to my sides, caressing the soft skin.

“So, so gorgeous,” he whispers in the dark, almost more towards himself it seems, his eyes drifting back up to meet mine after.

It feels like I’m exploding with fuel and desire inside, being lit up with every touch and look of him, making my heart hammer inside of my chest from nerves but especially excitement. My hips start to grind against his a bit, making me able to press a little against his bulge, and I have to bite back a amused smile by that, as I feel myself drooling between my legs by the feeling at the same time.

A low groan escapes Noah's lips as he looks back down between the both of us, getting stimulated by my movements. His lips then find my jaw again, teeth scraping the skin before pulling back to look into my eyes. He gives me a dark, smug look before he stands up from the bed, his hands slowly taking off his robe and the long sleeved shirt he wears underneath, letting it slide down his body as it falls to the ground by his feet. “Tell me how much you want me, sweetheart, so I can give you everything and more.”

And Jesus fucking Christ—he’s a sight, a goddamn hot, tattooed and worked out sight as I let my eyes roam over his exposed chest, flushing madly by it

“I want you,” I whisper as my eyes go back to his own darkened ones again, “for so long. Even more… like this.”

His lips curve into a smile as he slowly steps back towards me again, moving his hands down to his pants, slowly unbuckling the belt while looking into my eyes that slightly widen in anticipation. “How long have you waited for this?”

“Too long to admit,” I mumble, my eyes going down to his belt. “It's embarrassing.”

Noah slides his pants down his legs along with his underwear, letting them fall to the floor as well before slowly climbing on the bed, hovering over me once again, making my heart rate rise madly. His hands slide down my body, down to my skirt, his fingers hooking into them as I continue to look at him.

“It’s okay, I have too. And I know how needy you are right now, sweetheart.” He kisses my jawline, hands slowly pulling my skirt down my body, leaving me in only my panties.

“You–really?” I stumble as I hear his words, and all the fire in me burns up again, making me need him so badly, and wanting him, craving him, more than ever before.

One of his hands caresses my thigh, feeling the soft skin underneath his lean fingers, before slowly gliding up to my covered center. He watches his hand as it moves slowly over my panties, his fingers grazing my core, applying a teasing but light pressure, making me squirm.

“Of course,” he says in response, a devilish grin on his face, eyes looking down at where his hand is touching, and God, it's another hot sight. His other hand goes to remove the rings he wears on his fingers, the chunky silver ones I've grown to love so much, and I get more needy for him by the minute, making my body tremble with eagerness.

I look down at our naked bodies, making me heavily flush again but also dampen with even more in anticipation. Once his rings have made their way onto the nightstand he leans down towards my ear again. His lips ghost over the skin of my neck, trailing down as he speaks, “Are you sure you’re ready to be mine?... To let me take you in every way possible? To make you completely mine?”

He nips at the flesh before pulling back a little to look into my eyes. I whimper desperately at his words, chest rising up and down heavily, my arms already wrapping around his neck.

“Yes,” I breathe out in response, my eyes then looking at his lips.

Noah's right hand cups my cheek, gently caressing the skin with his thumb, and then finally pressing a soft kiss to my lips—it’s slow, passionate, and full of desire. Soon, his tongue grazes my lower lip, teasingly asking for entrance which I instantly give him, before moving his other hand to my waist and starting to slide my panties down my legs, all while never breaking the kiss.

I moan deeply in our kiss, my legs already slowly opening for him in pure eagerness as he then throws my panties away once they are fully down. His tongue slips into my mouth, swirling with mine as he groans against my mouth, the taste of him sweet and heavenly.

Noah's hands then slide across my thighs, his teeth grazing my bottom lip as he pulls it back for a second to look at me, before leaning down and kissing me once more, and God, it kills me and makes my anticipation and need for him grow even more and more. His right hand slides up my thigh, his fingers feeling the warmth of my center before rubbing against it gently.

My back arches slightly, eyes squeezing shut by the pleasure, and my jaw drops as sounds of pleasure begin to escape me. Noah can't seem to help but moan into my mouth in response, it makes him feel how badly I need him. He breaks the kiss and moves down to my jawline, then slowly down to my neck, leaving a few bruising bites behind, and I know they'll show tomorrow when I get up.

My panting and moaning get heavier and heavier with the more pleasure he gives me, his movements teasing at first, but then speeding up—leaving me a trembling mess. I can feel myself getting close, and Noah is being able to know by my desperate sounds and the way I move underneath him.

His lips pull away from my neck again, and he slowly slides down my body, placing kisses against my skin as he goes, his lips coming to rest at my chest. His left hand moves up my side towards my arm, pinning it down against the bed, before doing the same with the other arm. And now he has me underneath him, completely at his mercy, making my heart speeding up even more, with lips parted as I look at him with anticipation, as I'm about to get closer and closer to the edge.

Noah continues to work his fingers against my core, lips kissing all the way down my chest and then towards the inside of my thigh, leaving a faint trail of marks behind as he goes. His teeth graze the skin while his dark, lustful eyes never leave mine.

“Please,” I then breathe out as his mouth goes closer to my center, “I need you there—”

He listens to my pleas as a grin forms across his face. “Such a needy thing you are,” he chuckles softly against my sensitive skin. His eyes look back up to mine before looking at my aching core, making me shift even more in need.

“But, I will give you what you desire,” he then hums. His tongue flicks out, teasingly licking a slow, but broad trace, making me sharply inhale.

”Fuck,” I heavily pant out, making my back arch even more. I feel him smirk as my hips buck against his mouth as he hears the sounds of me falling apart beneath him. The hand that was holding my arm down moves up towards my head, gently lacing his fingers into my hair before pulling it, and he looks up again at me.

“Be good and take it,” he then commands with a low voice, it being enough to make me moan out loud again.

“I’ll take it,” I pant in response, “fuck, I’ll take it all—”

Noah hums against my core, slightly vibrating against me, driving me crazy. He then looks up at me through his lashes, watching my face contort and twitch in pleasure. His left hand then moves to the desk next to his bed again, taking one of the gloves off it and sliding it on again, making my eyes widen. Oh god—he has definitely noticed what those gloves did to me the whole evening.

I see him having to hold back a grin at my reaction, confirming that. “Look at you baby, already looking wrecked,” he teases, his eyes and lips leaving my enter to look up at me, his gloved hand now moving down to my core, slowly rubbing me, and I gasp and squeeze my eyes shut at the feeling of the leather against me.

“Oh God Noah,” I choke out, feeling myself getting even closer to the edge, and his lips curve into a mischievous grin.

“And now look at you, begging me already,” he taunts after a dark, amused chuckle follows. “I’ll give you what you want, darling, but only if you say my name. That’s the only way you’ll get what you need.”

“Noah,” I desperately choke out, my voice sounding needy, practically shaking as I say his name, and he chuckles softly at how vulnerable and exposed I am right now. “I’m so close, please—“

“That’s my pretty thing,” Noah hums, his lips going back to my aching center, continuing to devour me with his tongue, and I let out the most desperate sounds, and soon enough I grab and pull his hair, hitting my edge, hard and with trembling legs he needs to hold with both his hands.

The sounds I'm making are almost loud enough for the others, and the realization makes my climax feel even more pleasurable and hot to me. Noah pulls away from my center, looking at me, taking in my dazed expression.

“What a pretty thing you are, y/n,” he praises me as he crawls over and hovers over me again.

I blush yet roll my eyes at the same time, chuckling lightly. “Yeah yeah,” I playfully respond as I swat his chest, and he joins my laughter.

“Now roll over for me, and make me wish you an even better happy birthday.”

[lightsoutmatthews]

Stick Season - Matthew Knies

summary: you and Matthew bought tickets for a concert together, unfortunately life had other plans between then and the concert, but what happens when you still decide to go together?

pairing: Matthew Knies x female!reader

word count: 2.4k

warnings: -

authors note:

in honor of the Leafs clinching a playoff spot last night!!!!

-----------------------------

The two pieces of paper that were pinned to your fridge burned in your sight. There was a time where you looked forward to seeing your favorite artist in concert. Especially with your now ex-boyfriend.

You were so excited when he gifted you the tickets on your birthday last year. You didn’t know the two of you wouldn’t make it to your next birthday, or the concert.

It wasn’t a really bad breakup. More like the two of you growing apart. Realizing both of you would need to figure out how to live life on your own.

He was leaving for Arizona while you stayed in Toronto. You wished you could have gone with him, but work kept you. That was the first time you realized that your lives grew in different directions and would not really align anymore even when he returned to Toronto.

He was stressed enough trying to figure out how to manage being a full time NHLer after being thrown into the position on a whim. You were still trying to navigate your new job. Seeing each other less and less before he left.

Not on purpose, life just got in the way and that´s when you knew it could not go on like this.

You broke up when he was back in Canada. It wasn’t a hard conversation, both of you knowing things were coming to an end.

------------------

You hadn’t seen him in months. Not seen him being a stretch given his face was plastered all over the city, the radio and tv talking about the season he was having.

You were happy for him. Game after game he grew as a new player in the big leagues. Eventually he even got promoted to the top line alongside Auston Matthews and Mitch Marner. An unsent congratulatory message for that probably still a draft in your iMessage chat.

That was the first time you really missed him. Celebrating achievements together was one of the things you loved about being with him. No matter how small they were, either of you made it a big deal for the other.

There were a few other times throughout the months since the breakup where you thought about him. When your coworkers invited you to the restaurant you had so many dates at. When you drove past Scotiabank Arena, memories of the times you saw him in the Leafs uniform flicking through your mind.

The concert tickets at your fridge the worst reminder of what you had lost. It was a weird feeling. On the one hand you knew you had made the right decision but at the same time it felt like a piece of you was missing. Maybe you had been wrong? Maybe it was just a product of not seeing him for a while.

-----------------

You debated back and forth what you should do with the tickets. Of course, you still wanted to go, but you didn’t have anyone to go with. You could text Matthew. You knew the concert was during all-star break.

Would it be weird? Probably. But technically it was his ticket. He paid for it after all.

The decision laid heavy in your stomach for a few days. You asked around your friend group for a bit, seeing if anyone had time that day without mentioning what event you were actually talking about.

No one did.

A few days later the unsent congratulatory message was deleted, and a new one put in its place. It went unsent for another day, but you knew that you should send it eventually. For planning purposes alone.

I Hey, this might be surprising or weird, but I still have your Noah Kahan ticket. I would hate for it to go unused.

He didn’t reply for over a day. You were thinking that he was ignoring you, but when a text with his name at the top of the notification came through late on the next day you let out a shaky breath.

Matt Knies: Hey, not weird for me if it’s not weird for you. I forgot about that concert to be completely honest; you can give it to someone else if you want to.

You swallowed hard. You should’ve expected him to not jump at the opportunity immediately. You texted back regardless.

I Already asked basically everyone I know, and no one has time. If you don’t want it, I´ll put it up on resale and send you the money back.

You knew how this sounded. Like texting him was the last resort before putting the ticket up for sale. It kind of was. You weren’t screaming in joy about texting you ex about going to a concert together.

Matt Knies: Okay fine, I don’t want the ticket to go to waste. Let me check my schedule.

A few seconds later another message came through.

Matt Knies: What date was that again?

You chuckled.

--------------------

A week later you were on your way to the venue. Matthew agreed to come in the end, but you didn’t make any plans of meeting up until last night.

He texted, saying he´d pick you up but you argued that you were in the area beforehand anyways (you weren’t). So, you met up in front of the arena.

An awkward hug was shared as you approached him. Mumbled greetings and pleasantries were exchanged. You looked him over.

He gained muscle since you last saw him. The backwards cap on his head hid his hair which was slightly longer than you were used to. But it suited him.

It wasn’t lost on you that he was looking you over too. His gaze lingered on your legs for a little longer than it would be polite. You smirked. The loose leather pants were the right decision after all.

--------------

You entered the venue quietly, neither of you really knowing what to say. The hum and buzz of the rest of the concert crows a welcome distraction from your thoughts.

“Do you want something to drink? My treat.” His words made your head snap around. Starring at him like he said the most outrageous thing in the world.

“Woah, I asked you for a drink, not if you want to rob a bank with me.” A soft chuckle left his mouth at your expression. “I… uh… sure…”

You yelped when he grabbed your arm and dragged you towards one of the many drinks stands around the entrance of the arena. His touch immediately sending shivers down your spine. It was warm, familiar, full of memories that kept crawling back to you.

Minutes later he handed you a cup of Sprite. Your favorite.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to drink so I took the save option.” He smiled and took a sip from his own cup. A familiar prickle started to simmer in your stomach. You tried to blink it away, but it immediately bubbled back up when you looked at him.

His features were foreign but so familiar at the same time. “Do I have something between my teeth?” you snapped back to reality at his sudden question. “What…?” perplexity written all over your face.

“You were staring like I had something between my teeth, I had some spinach for lunch, but I swear I brushed my teeth after so usually there shouldn’t be any left.” You blinked once, twice, three times to process how easy he fell back into your familiar rhythm.

Talking to him used to be easy but it felt wrong to immediately slip back into this familiar rhythm.

Seeing him laugh spreading a warmth trough you that you had been missing without really realizing it.

“So?” You snapped back into reality once again starring at him with a confused look. “Spinach?”

“Uh, no, no spinach,” you mumbled but didn’t go into it any further, luckily, he let it go.

----------------

The two of you found a space in the middle of the floor. It wasn’t too crowded yet, so you opted to lean against the rail at the audio guys area.

You took in the buzzling atmosphere, trying to avoid looking in his direction so he wouldn’t ask about your starring again.

You wanted to look at him. Take in his familiar frame and strong build. Sleeping nestled into his warm hold something you missed to this day.

Making small talk until the show started felt easier the longer you talked. You asked about adjusting to his first full season in the NHL, he asked about your job.

The stories he told were exciting, filled with memories from road trips to striking up friendships with his teammates. He told you a lot about Joseph Woll who apparently became his new best friend given they were both in their first full season.

You patted his arm softly when he said how sad he was when he got injured a few weeks ago and wasn’t joining the team on trips but that there were a few others he got along with great.

You hadn’t met many of his teammates. Auston Matthews once when you were in Arizona two years ago, John Tavares last season when you visited Matthew at his house during the playoffs when he was first called up to play for the Leafs after losing in the Frozen Four.

He was just about to break into another story from the road trip out West when the lights dimmed, and the opener took the stage.

You weren’t familiar with the artist, but you enjoyed their music and made a mental note to look them up on Spotify later.

In the break between their set and Noah you didn’t pick the earlier conversation back up, rather sharing opinions about the opener and the songs they performed.

Matthew and you always had similar music taste but today your opinion was divided. Him not having enjoyed it at all and you advocating for them. The banter and jokingly arguing once again something you were incredibly familiar with and that brought that prickle back in your stomach.

It was easy falling back into familiar patterns. Like the past months hadn’t happened. Like you hadn’t broken up on a whim.

You knew it was something that needed to happen at the same time. If you would have kept the relationship up it probably would’ve ended badly. You both needed space to grow individually.

Having been together since junior year at the University of Minnesota there was hardly a time you had spent away from each other. You grew into real adults with the other by your side.

With the rapid change that was approaching in both of your lives you knew either of you needed time to adjust. Alone.

When Noah Kahan took the stage all those thoughts were out of your mind, and you focused on the concert ahead. Until “Stick Season” came on and you were hit with a massive flashback back to the first time you spent parts of your summer with him in Arizona.

--------

It was a very warm summer night in the middle of the dessert. You and Matthew had spent the evening with his family, having a barbecue and a campfire in the Knies family backyard.

The rest of the family already went to sleep but the two of you weren’t feeling tired yet, so you decided to grab one of the picknick blankets in the pool house and laid it under the stars that were shining bright in the dimly lit neighborhood.

The new Noah Kahan single was playing quietly over the speakers on the patio. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” you whispered. Matthew tightened his grip around you, pulling your head onto his chest and placing a soft hiss on top of it. “Me too.” After a few seconds he added: “It´s nice without the stress of hockey additionally to keeping up with classes.”

You laughed out a huff. He had been drafted by the Toronto Maple Leafs last year and it was almost sure he would make the jump into the NHL at one point in his life. Classes wouldn’t matter then, but you didn’t want to tell him that, knowing he wasn’t so sure if Toronto would make the call any time soon.

“Yeah. I´m dreading going back. Theres so much on my palate this semester.” You would graduate next summer which mean additionally to all of the classes you had to take you would have to start thinking about your thesis. More stress than you had handled in your academic career before.

Another soft kiss to the top of your head. “You´ll do great, I know you will.” You snuggled deeper into his hold and let out a hard exhale. “I hope so. I have that job lined-up from my internship, and I would hate to waste it.”

Moving back to Toronto, where you were originally from, was something you looked forward too. The company you did your internship at during spring break being so impressed by your skills that they offered you a position right out of college.

You knew that also meant you would be close to Matthew when he would eventually come to play for the Leafs.

“Everything will turn out okay, I just have a feeling.”

“I love you, Matt.”

He smiled down at you. “I love you too, sweet girl.”

He tips your head up and places the softest kiss to your lips before laying back down again, neither of you saying a word, the Noah Kahan song just quietly playing in the background.

---------

“I miss you.” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. Matthew ripped his head around.

You weren’t sure he had heard you over the loud music but based on his reaction he did.

His lips moved but you could not focus on what he was saying, still shocked by your sudden confession.

“What…?” You mumbled, your mouth barely moving. Matthew softly smiled at you before he leaned down and did the least thing you expected him to do.

His lips felt soft against yours, moving against them felt like he was holding on to a lifeline. Warmth but also nerves and uncertainty creeped up in you.

“I said I miss you too.” He whispered against your lips when he took a second to give both of, you’re a breather.

For a minute neither of you said anything, Noah just singing in the background, the screaming crowd around you.

“You were thinking about that summer too, right?”

[merrybloomwrites]

No Pain, No Gain

Summary: You and your costars aren't exactly looking forward to a challenge video all about pain. But when you have the added element of being on your period, your boyfriend Ian becomes extra concerned for you.

Word Count: 1.9K

CW: periods, pain, talk about children/childbirth

AN: I just really love this video! Seriously if you haven't watched this Challenge Pit video, do yourself a favor and click here!

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“Are you sure you're still up for this video today?” 

Sighing, you look at Ian as he asks you once again if you want to drop out of filming this challenge pit video. It’s sweet seeing your boyfriend concerned about your wellbeing, but at the same time, you know your limits. You know that you’ll have no problem making it through this shoot.

He’d been on the fence about you participating in this one since the cast sheet came out. He knows it’s all silly, but he doesn’t want to see you get rubber bands snapped on your leg, or get hit with a loaf of bread. 

And then there’s the period cramp simulator. Likely to be bad enough for everyone involved, but since no one else in this video has a uterus, you’re going to be the only person going through that while actually on your period.

It had started the night before, and as soon as you mentioned that to Ian he offered to find someone else to switch with you. And now twelve hours later you’re still reassuring him that you’ll be fine.

“You’re just scared because you’re all going to look like wimps next to me,” you say.

“Oh, one hundred percent, absolutely,” Ian replies. “But you promise you’re good?”

“I’m good. I promise,” you answer seriously. “Thank you for worrying about me, but I will be okay,” you add before leaning in for a quick kiss. His hand goes to your waist and he pulls you in, deepening the kiss for just a moment before pulling away. 

“Get a room,” you hear, and you’re startled by Spencer who seems to have materialized from thin air. You know he’s joking, but he’s also right. Since you and Ian had started dating two years ago there was always a rule about PDA at work. The rule being, please try not to do that. But you’re only human, and sometimes you just can’t help it. You need to kiss your boyfriend.

“You guys coming? Time for the shoot,” Spencer says.

“Yup, we’re coming,” you reply, and the three of you head over to the correct stage.

“Think you two can behave for the video?” Spencer asks. 

“Do we have to?” Ian says in a fake whiny voice. “I mean, the fans already know, it’s not a secret that we’re together. Why not give ‘em a little action?”

“Ew,” you say with a laugh. “We absolutely will not be ‘giving them a little action’. I’m honestly scared to know what that would mean.”

“Yea, you’re probably right to worry. Spencer, I promise we’ll be on our best behavior.”

By this point you’ve reached the set and have joined Noah and Shayne who are already waiting there. All five of you get mic'd up and go through the rundown once more before you start filming. 

The first challenge begins, all five of you putting rubber bands around your calf and a rubber chicken whistle in your mouth. Not for the first time you take a moment to acknowledge the ridiculousness of your job. 

And then Spencer snaps the band on your leg and you take a deep breath through your nose to ensure you don’t let out any sounds of pain. After a moment you’re marked safe from this first round. 

Shayne is the first one out, followed by Noah, and then Spencer. This leaves you and Ian as the last two. Up until this point, Ian hasn’t been the person to snap the band on your leg.

He bends down to pull it and you brace yourself for what’s to come. But then he stands back up and says, “This feels wrong.”

“Oh my gosh, Ian. It’s fine!” you say.

“I don’t want to hurt you!”

“Well I already did it to you so now you’re gonna make me look bad,” you add with a laugh. It’s rare that Ian shows a softer side so you know the fans will enjoy seeing him in this way. 

“Alright, alright.” Ian leans down and you place the chicken whistle back in your mouth. Part of you thinks that because he’s so hesitant, he’ll go easy on you. But that isn’t the case. 

The second the band snaps on your leg you let out a pained breath, and a loud chicken noise fills the room.

“Sorry, I’m sorry!” Ian immediately says. You start laughing, the moment of pain having quickly passed and now you’re just bummed that you lost the challenge. Seeing that you’re truly fine, Ian celebrates his victory before you all move on to the next challenge.

Once everyone is ready, Shayne intros the next bit, where you’ll all be wearing a period cramp simulator and trying to go about normal daily activities. You’re curious to see if it will actually feel like cramps, and what the boys’ reactions will be.

Spencer goes first, and you joke along with the rest as he stiffly goes through the tasks. After him is Shayne, who really does not handle the experience very well. Third is Ian, the person you’re most excited to see. You burst into laughter when he starts dancing around like he’s being tickled. He does well though, completing the tasks faster than the others. 

That’s when you know you need to one up him. There’s no way he’s allowed to beat you at this challenge. When Noah goes and turns up the intensity a bit you know what you have to do.

It’s finally your turn, and you look to the camera before even switching the machine on and say, “I’m very curious to see if this actually feels like cramps. And I am an excellent judge of that because, TMI, I am currently on my period. So you’re all lucky I’m putting myself through this during the brief window where painkillers are working.” You then turn it on and slowly amp it up to the max while making quips to the camera. 

“Okay, it definitely feels uncomfortable, though not exactly like cramps. A good comparison though. Like, it’ll totally affect me the way cramps do.”

You wince before laughing it off, not noticing the worried look Ian gives you. Throughout the entire time you’re doing the challenge, Ian watches you anxiously for any signs of pain. 

But now you’re determined not to show any. You go through the tasks perfectly, and in the end you’re given the point. Ian may have finished a little faster, but you’d done everything with double the intensity so the guys decide you deserve the win. 

There’s another short break to set up for the last challenge, and Ian once again asks if you’re alright. You reassure him that it’s no big deal, you’re still feeling fine, and that you’re totally going to win the final challenge and he’s going down. A little healthy competition is a key part of your relationship.

Unfortunately, you do not win. This last task is to fill your mouths with water and hit each other with baguettes. If you spit the water out, you lose. 

Everyone gets a couple good whacks in before you break, laughing at the absurdity and quickly losing the game. To your playful chagrin, Ian wins again and therefore, is the champion of this video. Kiana yells cut and you grudgingly congratulate him, pouting just enough to keep him from boasting too much. 

He has another video to shoot next while you head back to your desk to get some work done. After about an hour, the pain medicine from earlier wears off, yet it’s too soon to take any more. Your cramps feel more intense than usual, and you wonder if maybe the simulator had messed with you, either physically or mentally and caused you to feel worse. 

You’re trying to act normal and breathe through the pain, but it’s not working. You don’t want your coworkers to see you in such a state so you grab your laptop and head to Ian’s office. It’s not often that you hide out in here, but every now and then you do use your perks that come with dating the boss. 

He has a nice couch, but you can’t sit still. Nothing is comfortable. Ian finds you kneeling on the couch, essentially in an upright fetal position, and immediately knows what’s going on. 

“What can I do?” is the first thing he asks. Before you can answer he sits behind you and starts rubbing your back, paying more attention to your lower back near your hips. The exact spot where you’re in the most pain. 

Instantly you start to feel better. “Thank you. This is perfect,” you say. 

“I have a new appreciation for what you all go through. That shit sucked,” he states, causing you to laugh. “At least I could turn it off. But just having to live your life when you’re in pain on a regular basis like this must be terrible.”

“Yea, it’s pretty shitty,” you agree. “But it has its perks.”

“Seriously? Like what?”

“Well, like this,” you answer and lean further into his touch. His hands wrap around you and he starts massaging your thighs, another reminder of how attentive he is that he always remembers where your pain radiates to and bothers you the most. 

“I just hate seeing you in pain,” he says.

“I know. But think of this like practice. When we have kids someday you’re gonna see me in quite a bit more pain.” This isn’t the first time the two of you have talked about having kids. Ian had surprised you when he brought it up the first time, but now you can’t stop thinking about it. 

“I will do my very best not to be one of those dads that passes out while you’re in labor,” Ian says, making you laugh again.

“I have full faith in you. Maybe I should keep one of those chicken things and use that while I push. Confuse the shit out of everyone else nearby.” 

“Okay well now we should have a baby just to be able to do that,” Ian says.

“I mean, what other reason could we possibly need?”

“When are you fertile again?”

“Oh my god, Ian! You cannot ask that,” you say, now laughing so hard you’re nearly about to cry. 

“Bet you feel better now though,” he quips. And he’s right. He’s distracted you from the cramps, giving you a few pain free minutes. 

He continues to take care of you, getting you more pain relievers when it’s time and even finding a heating pad from somewhere in the office. Later in the afternoon he manages to track down some of your favorite chocolate, and at home that night he draws you a warm bubble bath. 

When you both get into bed, you ask him to lay on top of you, the deep pressure always making you feel better. It’s something he had questioned when you first got together, since he didn’t want to squish you. But now he does it every time you ask.

You fall asleep comforted by the feeling of Ian surrounding you, content with the knowledge that he’s always there to care for you when you need it most.

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AN: Thanks for reading! If you have any Ian requests please let me know!

[roosterforme]

The Younger Kind Part 56 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: When Bradley finally gets word about a return date, he has no idea what he's about to walk into at home. You tried your best to take care of things by yourself, but your visit to the hospital shows you how much you need someone with you for physical help as well as emotional support.

Warnings: mentions of blood, pregnancy topics, hospitals, mentions of miscarriage, swearing, angst, fluff, and age gap (18+)

Length: 4100 words

Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader

Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.

You managed to get in the car even though Natasha was protesting. "What's wrong?" she asked at least a dozen times as she tried to call an ambulance for you. But you just told her you could drive yourself to the hospital to be checked out. You thought you said the word pregnant to her at some point, but you weren't really sure. Nothing was making very much sense right now. 

There was traffic on every road as dinnertime approached. Everyone else was going out for the night, perhaps for a family meal at a restaurant. You saw kids walking along the sidewalks with their parents, and you started crying. You didn't like leaving Noah to wake up from his nap with Natasha suddenly there instead of you. She would take care of him, of course, but it might confuse him. You didn't see what choice you had in the matter though, as your mind was flooding with worst case scenarios.

What was happening to the baby?

You sobbed as you ran through a yellow light to try to get there faster. What if it was already too late? You were educated enough to know that there were about a million different things that could be going on right now, and they ranged from innocuous to horrifying. Maybe you did something to cause some minor bleeding. Or maybe the baby was already gone.

"Please, no," you gasped as you parked at the hospital and walked quickly through the increasingly dreary weather to the emergency entrance. Your phone was vibrating in the pocket of your sweatpants as you headed right for the desk and blurted out, "I'm pregnant, and I'm bleeding."

The exhausted looking nurse looked up at you and said, "Please have a seat in the waiting area, and I'll come get you when I'm ready for you."

You blinked at her. "I'm bleeding," you repeated in a harsh whisper. "And I'm pregnant."

"Yes," she replied with a nod. "I'll be with you in just a minute."

You took a seat and cried, afraid to use the bathroom in the waiting area, terrified to see more blood when you wiped yourself. Anytime patients came to see Dr. Kelly, you made sure you took care of them right away, especially if they were bleeding or upset. You couldn't stand the tears that would well up in a child's eyes along with uncertainty and fear. 

But then you got it. It only took you a minute to understand that if there truly was something wrong with the baby, then there was nothing they would be able to do at this point.

Your phone was ringing again, and it was Natasha. As the nurse came to retrieve you from your seat, you texted her and let her know you made it to the hospital and to focus her attention on Noah. You were shaking again as the nurse took your temperature and blood pressure, and you wanted to scream at her to do something more than check your vitals. You needed an ultrasound. You needed a doctor. You needed someone to focus on why you were bleeding.

She handed you off to another nurse, and at least he smiled sympathetically at you and said, "We'll get you checked out in no time." But you could barely walk, and you felt his hand wrap around your bicep to keep you upright as he guided you into one of the many rooms in the emergency medicine corridor. "I'll get a doctor right in here, okay?"

His voice was calm, emulating what you tried to do at your own job, and he left you a gown to change into. Once he was gone, you put it on, afraid to check your underwear as you settled onto the narrow bed. The room smelled sterile, and the fluorescent lights were making you nauseous, but he was true to his word. You started counting to yourself, trying to keep track of how much time had passed without panicking, and a few minutes later, a doctor appeared in the doorway.

She spoke your name, and when you nodded, she introduced herself. "You're pregnant?" she asked you evenly as she reached for some latex gloves. She reminded you a bit of Dr. Kelly, and you immediately felt a little bit calmer. 

"Yes. About thirteen weeks along, and I just started bleeding like an hour ago." Your voice broke on your words, but you tried to keep it together. "I'm a pediatric nurse, so I'm not completely proficient in obstetrics, but can you give me an ultrasound and check? I need to know if the baby is okay."

"Lay back so I can see what's going on here." You did exactly as you were told as your heart pounded and panic rose within you. The baby was already so loved; you and Bradley were both looking forward to the due date. Sure, you'd been a little scared of the unknown, but the idea of miscarrying had you sick with worry. 

If Bradley were here right now, you knew you'd feel so much safer, but if the baby was gone, your preference would be to deal with this yourself. The disappointment on his face would be too much to bear. You'd rather never look at him again then have to see how sad he was going to be when you told him. If you had to tell him. 

You ran your thumb along the band of your engagement ring as the doctor gave you a quick examination. "Have you had vaginal intercourse in the last forty-eight hours?"

"N-No," you sputtered. "My fiancé is deployed. He's in Japan."

"Did you masturbate?"

You shook your head; you were so tired, you could barely clean up after dinner each day, let alone get yourself off. "No."

She pulled the gown down again and said, "It's most likely just your cervical tissue reacting to something, but let's get you taken back for an ultrasound to be sure."

"Thanks," you sobbed, letting your palm come to rest on your belly as you closed your eyes and tried to stay afloat in your own terrible thoughts. "I just want to know if I'm still pregnant."

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"Finally," Bradley muttered, running his fingers through his hair as he walked through the hangar with his helmet in his hand. Six weeks was a long time to be away from you right now. Too long, really. He had kind of fallen in love with flying Shadowhawk, but nothing compared to sharing a bed with you and reading bedtime stories to Noah. And he was itching to see the newest ultrasound photos.

He'd been confined to the Naval base at Yokosuka except for one day when the weather was too unsafe to let him fly. He took a short trip back into the city, chaperoned of course, but he was allowed to visit a bookstore. He ended up buying eight books for Noah and the baby, and he couldn't wait to show them to you. And he'd be able to do that soon, because he finally had a return date. If he did his math right, he'd be home in time to take Noah out to get candy on Halloween, as long as he wasn't delayed.

With just a few days left flying Shadowhawk, he really let the throttle tilt. He could hear Admiral Palmer warning him about his speed over the crystal clear comms, and he smiled before he responded. "Yes, sir. I'll ease off." But he didn't until he made a beautiful loop through the air. He was getting used to the ridiculous pressure on his body now, and when he got to San Diego and switched back to his Super Hornet, he was going to miss this feeling. He couldn't wait to try to describe it to you.

He knew what was coming. He was anticipating hours spent looking at his own flight data with the officers, but when the time came, he just felt antsy. The sixth-generation fighter had been moved back into the hangar for storage. He'd taken his last flight. His bags were packed, and he was ready to go home, but he had to pretend to be interested in what came next: at least fifty admirals sifting through data before anything would be determined. Bradley hoped these jets would eventually come to find a home with the US Navy, but it would be years from now if they did. He had done his part, and he wanted to be let loose again.

When he woke up on the day of his departure, he signed a final set of privacy forms before his phone was returned to him as he was ushered out to a car waiting to take him to the airport. He couldn't leave soon enough at this point. All he could picture was your face and Noah's, happy to see him home again. He could practically feel your body in his hands, and it was the only thing he wanted. 

Once he settled in for the short ride, he turned his phone on to find that he only had a tiny bit of battery left. Without even checking to see what time it was at home, he called you. He'd let his phone die talking to you right now if need be, and then he could charge it later. But you didn't answer. That was okay.

"Princess, I'm coming home. I'm on my way to the airport in Tokyo right now, and it's a ten hour flight. I think I'll be landing after midnight, so don't worry about getting Noah out of bed to come pick me up. I'll get an Uber or a taxi. I can't wait to see you, Baby. I love you."

He ended the call, and as soon as he started to investigate all of his missed text messages, the phone died. He was dropped off at the airport with barely half an hour to spare before his flight was scheduled to leave, and that's when he realized he didn't even have his phone charger with him. 

"Fuck," he muttered, rooting around in his bag but coming up with nothing. Maybe it got lost in his room in the barracks when he dumped his bag out? Maybe it was in his duffle which he checked at the airline desk. Regardless, he didn't have time to try to buy a new one, because his flight was already boarding by the time he found the gate. After questioning the flight attendants as to whether or not they had the type of charger he needed, he gave up hope, tossed his phone into his bag and tried to sleep for as much of the ten hour flight as he possibly could. He would be home with his family soon enough.

------------------------

You played the voicemail message from Bradley over and over again, but you could barely understand a word that he said. It sounded garbled and fuzzy, and it kept cutting out. He said something about being in Tokyo and something about Noah, and then he told you he loved you, but that's all you could figure out for sure.

"Can you understand what he's saying?" you asked softly, holding up the phone for Natasha to listen to it pretty much as soon as she walked through your front door in her uniform. "I've been trying to decipher this all day."

She took it from your hand and listened to it on speakerphone and then listened again with it pressed to her ear as she made a face. "Hang on," she muttered, playing it a third time. 

She'd been staying at the house with you since your overnight visit to the emergency room. She had essentially been doing everything for you and Noah so you barely had to lift a finger after work each day. You wouldn't have been able to do it on your own, but every time you tried to thank her, she told you it was no big deal and that Bradley was her best friend. You were afraid you were eating into her time with Javy, but she just rolled her eyes and said, "Hoes before bros."

She listened to the message one more time before she said, "It kind of sounds like he's coming home? And he's going to arrive after midnight? And he's getting an Uber from the airport?"

Your heart beat faster. "Do you think he means tonight?"

Noah came running into the living room with a coloring sheet in each hand and Skittles bounding after him. "Aunt Natasha!"

"Hey squirt," she said, picking him up and flying him around the room. She turned back to you and said, "Hopefully it means he'll be back tonight. Let's just leave the porch light on after dinner in case." Then she hauled Noah off to the kitchen where she started cooking while you took a shower. 

Dr. Kelly had immediately cut your hours back for which you were so thankful. She was very understanding when you talked to her. Tomorrow was Halloween, and it was Saturday. The plan was for Natasha to wear the costume you originally bought for Bradley, but if he arrived home tonight and was able to function tomorrow, maybe he'd want to go out to collect candy himself. You were just aching to see him at this point, and now your skin was tingling with the anticipation of him holding you.

After you ate, you tried to clean, but Natasha said, "I'll clean up after Noah's in bed." And then she sent you to the couch with a blanket while she and Noah took Skittles for a long walk down to the beach. You fell asleep there shortly after they left, and you weren't surprised that you ended up in your bed even before Noah was in his for the night. 

You let Natasha take care of everything while you tried to text Bradley again. You'd been trying all day, but he hadn't responded to a single one of them. You checked to see which flights were currently on their way from Tokyo to San Diego, and three of them were arriving late tonight. Honestly, the garbled voicemail had you on edge all day long, making you more exhausted than usual. You fell asleep hoping that he was on one of the flights and that he would be home soon.

And then you woke up to a loud voice coming from the living room. You jolted in bed, throwing the covers off of you in alarm before you realized that the voice was familiar.

"Princess? Baby, it's me! It's Bradley. I didn't want to scare you."

"Bradley," you gasped, jumping out of bed and grabbing at your nightstand until you could get your footing. "Bradley!" you called out a little louder.

"It's me, Baby," he answered. "Is Nat here? Why is her SUV in the driveway?"

You nearly collided with his best friend in the dark hallway, and when you both made it out to the dimly lit living room, you saw him standing there. Tears filled your eyes as you raced for him, and he picked you up into his arms and cradled you against his big body while Skittles whimpered at his feet.

"Daddy," you whispered, aware that Natasha was standing right behind you. "I missed you so much."

He kissed along your neck and your cheek and all of the parts of your face that he could reach as he said, "I love you. I love you so much. I missed you and Noah and the baby." He ran his nose along the shell of your ear and said, "Hey, Nat. What are you doing here? And why are you holding my mom's antique lamp?"

You turned to glance at her over your shoulder where she was indeed standing with the lamp in her hand at her side in her ratty old shirt and lounge pants. "I was making sure you were really you and not an intruder."

He laughed. "You were going to beat the shit out of me with a lamp?"

"Absolutely," she said with a yawn. "Welcome home." Then she turned and went back to the extra bedroom leaving the two of you alone.

Bradley's lips were on yours immediately, and even though you knew you had so much to tell him, you let yourself enjoy the indulgence of his kisses. You whimpered against his mouth and brushed your fingers softly through his hair. "I'm assuming we need to talk," he murmured. "You wanna tell me why she's here?"

You nodded and whispered, "Let's go to the bedroom."

He left his bags on the floor and carried you there immediately, setting you on the unmade bed and dropping down next to you. The room was pretty dark, and you curled up against his body, getting as close to him as you could. You inhaled his scent and soaked up his warmth, finally feeling better than you had in over a month. All of the fear seemed to wash away as he said, "I'm sorry I only left you that one message, but my phone died, and I can't find my charger. Nobody on my flight had the right one either, because apparently my phone is as ancient as I am."

You laughed softly. "I like vintage things, remember?"

"I do recall that," he replied easily. "Is tonight the first night Nat slept here?"

You took a deep breath and whispered, "No. She's been staying here for about a week to help out. Ever since I started... bleeding."

"Bleeding?" he echoed, his arm wrapping around you a little tighter as you nodded against his neck and tried to gather your thoughts. "Princess, what happened?"

His voice was alert and strong yet worried and cautious, and you told him, "I went to the bathroom last week, and when I wiped I was bleeding." His sharp intake of breath had you scrambling as you said, "The baby is okay."

"Are you okay?" he asked, gently rolling you onto your back to get a better look at your face. "Fuck. I should have never agreed to go away." He ran his big hand across your forehead and down your cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," you promised as you cried for what seemed like the hundredth time. "I was just so scared," you admitted, your voice barely a squeak. "I was so scared the baby was gone."

You realized Bradley's fingertips were rubbing soothing circles against your side as he whispered, "I'm sorry I left. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to take care of everything. Please, tell me what happened. Tell me everything."

--------------------------

Bradley got you cuddled under the covers, and he turned the lamp on so he could better see your face. You looked beautiful if not exhausted, and he was so grateful for his best friend being there for you. "I guess I overdid it a little bit," you admitted. "I took some extra hours at work and started getting the bedroom ready for the baby. I just wanted the weeks to pass quickly, you know? When I started bleeding, I called Natasha, and she came right over. She's basically been here since then."

He kissed your nose. "What did the doctors do?"

You closed your eyes and whispered, "They checked me over. Every inch. And they found that I needed progesterone shots. They caught it just in time, so maybe it was good that I ended up there."

Bradley felt like an idiot, but it didn't matter as long as you were okay. "What's the progesterone for exactly?"

You smiled as you snuggled closer to him. "It'll make my uterus better for the baby. Safer. The injections are pretty common, and I only need to get them a few more times. But I'm tired of all the needles, and now I can kind of understand how some of my own patients feel."

Bradley laced his finger with yours and asked, "And you're sure you're okay? Perfectly safe and healthy?"

"Yes. The baby is, too."

He kissed your forehead as he realized he was crying. "Just as long as you're okay, Princess. I love you." You nodded as you fell asleep, and he knew how badly you needed to rest. After he turned the light off, he held you against his chest and tried to make sense of everything. 

You and the baby were okay. Your doctor and the staff from the emergency room were monitoring your blood work every week now. You were getting injections in your thigh which were making your leg sore and bruised, but it was helping the baby. As much as he'd loved flying Shadowhawk, he regretted his time away from home a little bit more now.

When you rolled away from him around six o'clock, he had barely slept. Carefully, he extracted himself from the bed, and Skittles came trotting right over to him. He picked her up and straightened out the wrinkled clothing he had been wearing for way too long, but when he walked out to his kitchen, he found Nat was already there. She turned to face him as Skittles started licking his face, and he walked right into her arms for a hug.

"Thank you," he whispered, letting her hold him while he cried. "Is she really okay? She told me she's fine."

She rubbed his back and said, "Mostly. I think. She is stubborn, Bradley. When I got here, she drove herself to the emergency room before I even had a full grasp of the fact that she was pregnant. She told me to stay with Noah until she came home, and when I told her I'd get Javy to come stay here while I met her at the hospital, she yelled at me."

"That tracks," he said softly. He thought about how you stood up for him and Noah and fought alongside him for custody. Even after you got hurt. Even after he hurt you. 

"She was terrified that you'd be upset about a potential miscarriage."

Bradley felt like she slapped him in the face. "Shit," he grunted as she released him from the hug. It wasn't like that kind of thing could usually be prevented. He would have been sad, yeah, but only because he was so excited. He wouldn't have been upset with you though. Not at all. "I'll talk to her more about that when she wakes up." He scratched his head and set Skittles down. "Did you clean my kitchen?"

"Yes," she replied evenly as she switched on the coffee maker. "And if you try to thank me for anything I did, I swear to god, I will fucking key your Bronco. I did it for her, because she needed help."

He caught himself before he could thank her again, too afraid to find out if she was telling the truth. She probably was. "I'll make sure she's getting all the rest she needs. She will not be lifting a finger around here."

"That's what I like to hear," she said, patting him on the chest. "Now, I'm going to take one of your travel mugs full of your overpriced coffee from your fancy machine and head back to my place. I'll call you later, and I'll stop by tonight to hand out candy to your trick-or-treaters while you take Noah around the neighborhood."

"Shit, I guess I need to go out and buy candy and costumes and everything."

As her coffee brewed, Nat said, "It's all been taken care of. The bags of candy are on top of the fridge."

Bradley glanced in that direction and said, "You have to let me repay you, Nat."

She grabbed the travel mug and pulled her keys out of her pocket, brandishing them in his face. "Fuck around and find out, Bradshaw. You will not thank me, and you will not pay me back. You'll just let me come over and play with Noah at least once a week now while you take care of your wife-to-be. Those are my terms. Have a nice day."

"Okay," he called out, following her to the door to make sure her key went directly into her own ignition where it belonged. Then he got to work, pulling up some recipes on his phone; he was going to attempt to be the best dad and almost husband in the entire world, because that's what his family needed. 

------------------------

If you have been through any of this kind of shit like I have, I'm sending you a hug. It's stressful and scary, and not something you should have to deal with alone. Bradley is home and ready to be the absolute best. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 57

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જ⁀➴ bitter truths|| dealer!matt x doll!reader

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she should have been having a good time. the lights, the music, the chatter—it all felt like it should have lifted her spirits. but ever since her argument with matt, nothing felt right. she was here to distract herself, to put her thoughts somewhere other than the echo of his harsh and mean words but it seemed like it’s not working.

just as she was about to step outside for some air, she overheard a group talking. it was noah—and her heart sank as she caught a glimpse of his smirk, the words he was throwing around like she meant nothing to him.

“honestly, she’s just this clingy, naive girl,” noah said with a chuckle, taking a sip from his drink. “she’s so desperate to be liked, it’s almost pathetic. all you have to do is tell her what she wants to hear.”

she froze, his words hitting her like a punch to the chest. she could feel her face burning, shame rising as she realized what matt had been trying to warn her about. every warning he’d given, every harsh word—he’d been right. she’d trusted her new friend, convinced herself matt was wrong, but here she was, being torn apart behind her back by the very person she’d thought was her friend.

unable to bear any more, doll turned and slipped out to the porch, the cool night air hitting her like a wave. she took a shaky breath, feeling her chest tighten as matt’s words echoed in her head.

"you're just an easy target."

“i’m just trying to keep you from getting hurt. but you’re too stubborn, too naive to see that half these people only see you as an easy target.”

“anyone gives you a bit of attention, and you’re ready to trust them with anything.”

her heart twisted painfully as she sank down onto the porch steps, burying her face in her hands. matt had been looking out for her trying to protect her and she hadn’t trusted him. she’d pushed him away, ignored his calls and messages for days. she could still see his hurt, the way he’d looked at her when she’d walked away. and now, because of her own stubbornness, she’d lost him. maybe for good.

hot tears spilled down her cheeks, her sobs barely muffled by her hands. it was more than just noah’s betrayal—she’d felt this kind of hurt before. people using her, taking advantage of her kind heart. but matt, he was the one person who’d never done that. the one person who saw her for who she was and still cared enough to protect her.

a movement caught her eye. she looked up, wiping her face quickly, and froze as she saw matt stepping onto the porch. his expression was a mix of anger and worry, his gaze softening as he took in her tear-streaked face.

he was here. he’d come, even after everything.

“doll…” his voice was gentler than she’d expected, laced with concern.

she sniffled, trying to keep herself together, but the sight of him, standing there after everything, just made her tears fall harder. “i’m so sorry, matt,” she choked out. “you were right… about noah, about me, about everything. i should’ve listened to you. i… i was so stupid.”

“oh darling…” matt shook his head, moving closer until he was sitting beside her. he reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering for a moment. “no, doll. don’t do that to yourself. i shouldn’t have said those things to you. i was trying to protect you, but… i went about it all wrong.”

she looked down, guilt twisting in her stomach. “but you were just looking out for me, and i pushed you away. i was so hurt by what you said, but you were just… you were right.” her voice broke. “i thought noah was my friend, and i didn’t see how awful he was until now. and i… i didn’t see how much you cared.”

matt took a deep breath, his hand moving to rest on hers. “i know i came on too strong. i thought i had to make you see it right away… i just didn’t want to watch you get hurt, doll. not by someone who didn’t deserve you. you’re so… you’re so good. so kind. and people like him, they don’t get that. they don’t get you.”

she looked up, her eyes shimmering with tears. “but i hurt you, matt. i shut you out because i didn’t want to admit i’d made a mistake.”

he squeezed her hand gently, his gaze soft. “you don’t need to apologize, doll. you have every right to trust who you want. i should’ve respected that. i just… i got scared for you. and i took it out on you, made you feel small.” his voice cracked slightly. “i’m so sorry for that.”

she shook her head, blinking back fresh tears. “but you were the only one who really saw me. you didn’t want anything from me. you were just trying to protect me, and i threw it back in your face.” she took a shaky breath. “i thought i’d lost you forever, that you wouldn’t forgive me.”

his gaze softened even more, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looked at her. “doll, you’re not losing me. not now, not ever. i’ll always be here for you. just… maybe next time, let me be here without having to be so damn harsh.”

she let out a small, shaky laugh, relief flooding through her as she looked at him. “i… i’ll try. and maybe… maybe i’ll be a little smarter about who i trust.” her voice was soft, almost teasing, but there was still sadness lingering in her eyes.

he reached out, gently cupping her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears with his thumb. “look, doll… i’m sorry for every word that hurt you. you deserve better than that, better than me telling you what to think or feel. just… just know i only wanted to protect you. but from now on, i’ll trust you to protect yourself. i believe in you, okay?”

she nodded, leaning into his touch, a warmth settling in her chest. “thank you, matt… for being here, for everything.”

they sat there in silence for a moment, the tension between them finally easing as the hurt began to fade. she looked up at him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “i missed you.”

he gave her a soft smile, brushing his thumb across her knuckles. “i missed you too, doll. now, c’mon… let’s get out of here. i’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

she smiled, wiping the last of her tears as she stood up, her heart feeling lighter than it had in days. “just… somewhere i can breathe. and maybe talk. i think i’ve had enough excitement for one night.”

matt stood up beside her, his hand never leaving hers as he led her off the porch and away from the party. and with every step they took, she felt the hurt and the regret start to slip away, replaced by the warmth of knowing that, even after everything, matt was still by her side.

days later, she spotted noah near the college courtyard, his usual cocky smirk was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a scowl as he avoided everyone’s eyes. his face was a patchwork of bruises and cuts. the swelling around his eye and the split in his lip made her stomach drop, but she didn’t need to guess who was behind it. matt’s fury was written all over noah’s battered and bruised appearance. a part of her was furious with matt for going this far, but deep down, she couldn’t deny the flicker of satisfaction that he’d stood up for her—even if it was messy, brutal, violent and undeniably him.

an; LONG AWAITED PART TWO AYY LET'S GOOO (it's been two days) (i have exams from monday and instead of studying i'm being a delusional writer🥰) your honour i love them ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ i wish my situationship was like matt but damn 😔

taglist; @mattsdolll @izzylovesmatt @mattsbow