#no. actually he had Clay's whole life lmao

[kanrix]

I've read some of your posts (I love your art by the way) and as a Clay simp I have to say I HATE ARTHUR PUPPINGTON MY GOD, AS MUCH AS CLAY HAD BEEN A SPOILED BRAT YOU CAN'T JUST IGNORE A FCKING CHILD AAAAAcbsknx The old man needed to mature instead of seeing a 12-year-old as competition

I get Arthur puppington but this old man should be upset at his wife not at the 12 year old who's been sheltered, spoiled and tricked into believing everyone should kneel down for him his whole life, that kid literally does not know any better

[sinvilles]

Thoughts on Arthur, Angela and Clay: Oedipus Complex or just touch starvation?

You know the drill: I'm unconcerned about redemption because I'm not a fuckin lutheran. I'm a writer and I like sociological stories and seeing characters achieve wholeness within narrative. moral orel is a unique case because the story was cut short halfway through, and all character arcs were arrested at their lowest point in the narrative, except for some characters on the side who were just kind of beginning to shine.

Mother, child and the father laid to the wayside. The dynamic in that family is cursed by something we often disregard in analysis: Clay's 10 dead siblings who never saw light outside the womb.

Their ghosts are present, haunting Angela every time she looks at her son and thinks of the fragility of his little life. Their ghosts haunt Arthur when he sees his wife overcoddling their son. And when Clay is told the truth, their ghosts surround him as well.

CLAY

Think about that moment. He is 12, sheltered, the apple of his mother's eye, and probably didn't even know miscarriages were a thing- his mother won't even say the word "dead".

Then suddenly, his mother's body- once his source of comfort, associated with life, nourishment, love- is a graveyard. Her body is no longer safe, secure and homelike. His mother is now a stranger, and deeply suspect.

Not only has she had children pass inside her- she put every one of them behind her, choosing to move on and focus her love on the next child, and the next one and the next one... But even that makes her suspect- if Clay dies will she just move on and have another baby?

So he tests her. Like a little kid would. Maybe it's a prank he thought of earlier in the episode when he saw the bullets lined up in his father's study. He expected to be let off easy, because his mommy always laughs at his jokes and pranks- it's part of what makes their relationship special. But he didn't expect to kill her.

Of course the loss of his mother impacts him forever. I don't think that, as an adult, he's actually IN LOVE with her, or that he lusts after her. He comes off as wanting to crawl back into the womb for comfort. Every woman's body is now his mother's, and he can't really engage with women without being reminded of all of the baggage attached, the womb simultaneously a warm cradle and a grave. Of course he has to drink to do it. That and he's gay.

It seems to really freak him out when he visualizes those thoughts- when he thinks about his mother he literally imagines lubing his entire body up and crawling back up into her womb. He tries to drown it instead of examining those emotions because it's WEIRD lmao. But I doubt it's a sexual thing for him.

also, speaking of 10 dead siblings, I'm going to drop this Wikipedia article on the fraternal birth order effect. Read this and get back to me.

ANGELA AND ARTHUR

We see them progress in family photos from a very lively, happy couple, with interests and hobbies, to a pair who can barely recognize one another. The trauma of miscarriage can do a number on a couples love life- I have no doubt it was Angela who wanted to continue trying for a baby. I wonder if Arthur was so used to the disappointment that he actively kept himself from getting attached to his first living son before he was born.

He seemed to be trying to bond with him in the episode- though Angela may have taken his aloofness to heart and hoarded little Clay to her bosom. So not only is he denied the love of his wife, but the bond with his son as well. It's like an Oedipus complex in reverse, where the father is jealous and (SUBCONCIOUSLY!!!) seeks to destroy the son for competing with him for the mothers affections. Whereas Clay didn't seem to bear any ill will towards his father prior to his mother's death and his rejection of him.

Lets reflect on the use of the word leftovers: this can also mean something secondhand or second best. When Clay is done eating, Angela doesn't even bother preparing a plate for her husband, but pushes a plate of Clay's leftovers in his direction. When Clay tries reaching for his father after just having lost his mother- needing the physical comfort and safety he is so used to receiving- he is pushed away, and Arthur angrily says: "I don't want your LEFTOVERS!"

Arthur was always aware that Clay's love for him was secondary to his love for his mother. Clay, in his stupidity (it's a very natural thing) was content to sell him out, prank him, humiliate him. And a lot of resentment had festered for years to get to that point- Arthur didn't have the maturity in him to set it aside and just be there for the child that needed him. Hell, he expected the kid to die before his wife did. He does come to regret how he treated Clay in the future, but only because he saw how it affected his grandson.

Arthur didn't just deny Clay his physical affection, leaving him starved for any kind of touch (even being hit), he straight up ignored him. You can't ignore a kid.

Arthur and Clay's situation is one that I'm actually stumped about plot-wise. I don't think Clay would even be willing to accept an apology from Arthur- the damage he did so deeply affected Clay's formative years. Does Clay have to forgive him? Alternatively, does Orel have to forgive Clay? It really is a vicious cycle; I do think it will hurt Arthur not to be forgiven by his son, but he might possibly accept it. But Clay, unable to forgive his father, in turn cannot forgive himself. And when Arthur dies and its too late, it will definitely break him.

[miralyk]

love the drawings you've been making for desmond and alex, what's ghosts in the machine? first i see them crawling out of your screen and now everyone's angels devils or monsters, i don't know if i'm missing something!

ah man, think it's time to try to summarize everything and apologize LMAO;; ty for asking though, i should've made things less confusing! this will be a Pretty lengthy post for irl context/backstory and "actual au" info so be ready if you want to read everything!

(for starters, the title's just a pun on the philosophical phrase "ghost in the machine" interpreted Literally and taking inspiration from clay in ac revelations, since he Was a ghost in a machine and jokingly called "my guardian angel" by des, haha)

the short version: basically, "ghosts in the machine" is what i've called the au(?) where i just doodle silly "artist talking to her art muse(s)" stuff like these kinds of comics instead w me,, the ""art muse"" is whatever i'm hyperfixated on (currently desmond, the assassin brotherhood as a whole, and alex/prototype lmao):

the Full LONG version: when replaying prototype and ac awhile back, i also posted fanart on LOFTER (china’s local version of tumblr) and made a mainlander mutual/friend who drew fanart too, like her oc w the assassins in an animal shapeshifter 刺客信条乙女向 (assassin’s creed otome) au! as i’m vietnamese-american and she’s chinese, we use translators and send pictures/doodles to talk about the games and our days, and when i was replaying prototype, she started ac2 too and sent me this as commentary:

from there, whenever we’d text or send pics/art, it became a running joke of sorts to also include our ""game companions"" like that fanfiction thing of “author’s note where the author and fictional characters comment on the situation and/or talk to each other”, and my doodles also became us or our computers being accompanied by them LMAO;; that’s pretty much the origin and setting of the particular doodles; just the daily shenanigans and art struggles of an artist (me and her) talking to their art muses (characters from special interests) haunting them and their computers

as for the "supernatural" aspects, at some point desmond and alex got drawn an as angel and devil because i’ve had ridiculous “protected by a guardian angel” luck lately like surviving a car crash unharmed, they’re my favorites and associated with me, the motifs match the duo, etc, it's not really that deep and/or for a "Lore Reason";;

likewise, the brotherhood got drawn as ghosts to emphasize the “we/our computers are haunted by them” joke more, along with how my friend and i are both asian and used to like ghosts and ancestral worship casually being a part of our lives already LMAO (ig in the context of the au then, they’re basically desmond’s ancestral spirits disney-mulan-style that freeload off of his vietnamese protectee (me) for both spiritual veneration or "worship" like staying relevant in this modern age via fanart)

for example, i'm also considering drawing like altair, ezio, connor, and edward as the vietnamese four holy beasts just to play around, things like that! there's no special lore reason aside from just personal thoughts and "oh that'd be fun to draw", they just thematically fit well being four prominent “legends” and being desmond's ancestors, etc,, haha

at the end of the day, "ghosts in the machine" are just silly shenanigans of me drawing what's on my mind, from who/what i'm hyperfixated on (aka impromptu art muses for me), any thoughts/frustrations i have w daily life or drawing stuff,, and "hm this sounds cool, i could draw this design or Cool Thing" stuff. it's not really an au persay (plus i still really cringe and feel self-consciously wary about the embarrassing self-insert aspect of all this, help lmao), it’s just,, just silly personal scribblings that are kind of sharing an inside joke to everyone now, but i'm happy to know people still humor these silly drawings and are curious if there's more to it, thank you!

[hydrangeyes]

I ramble about headcanons while reading the artbook:

Here are my notes::

So idk if peeps talk about it but timeline wise I'm going to assume brozone's last concert had to be before the bergen fully captured the trolls.

I'm mainly basing this on the art work from the artbook, as well as how it would make sense how easily the older brothers could just walk off and live their own lives. Given previously with the whole bergen town surrounding the tree, and the only actual safe way out had to be a tunnel they were digging potentially not even ready yet.

So I would assume say a month at least after they left the bergen took over. Which could also play into all of them thinking the other was dead/captured and simply couldn't risk coming back even if they wanted too.

John dory returning when he had more experience and got "floyd's" letter. But for the most part genuinely was fine on his own. Maybe wanting to at least open communications back with his family.

Clay having found his way to Viv (I REFUSE to entertain the thought that he was with them when escaping just didn't contact branch or grandma)

I don't think floyd was even CLOSE to the tree to know. I imagine he did do a solo career but everything was so big and trolls being cared about wasn't till later. Which plays into that image of him playing alone in some alley on mount rageous.

Bruce traveled and maybe sent out a letter that never got received and found himself starting a new life and having kids.

I DIDN'T KNOW BRIDGET AND KING GRISTLE WERE IN THEIR MID TO LATE 20S HUUUHHH

I thought they were at MOST early 20s. Huh. Makes me wonder about the life spans of bergen.

I like to think outside bergen long since learned they don't have to eat trolls to be happy.

I need the extra of Viv consoling Poppy. Cause I need that.

I also need poppy and branch talking about sense of being left by siblings. How branch is still upset but dammit he's just as happy to be around them and singing with them again. How poppy just found a sibling who filled that unknown/forgotten side of her and having to potentially give a family member up. How now she understands branches hesitant to be involved with John dory at the start, etc etc.

I need more solo songs from the brothers. I need those scenes where they're bonding again. (Idk if you can tell but I want a TV series for the movie like the others).

I NEED backstop of the brother's parents and just WHERE are they if we're going with the before the bergen's theory.

I think it's funny before floyd and Branch were born. That Bruce was the middle child to probably dory's older brother and Clay's younger brother shenanigans. And then Clay becomes a middle child himself but not the peace maker kind lmao.

I need to see and hear that talk the sisters have with king peppy. Cause that whole side scene where he feels guilty was NOT enough.

I have this idea that what positivity was to branch in movie 1 is what being silly is to clay. Like it's not that they hate it but being taken serious and not always that one thing is a nice breath of fresh air. And maybe Viv had been someone who was able to welcome both sides for clay.

Branch is a poet idc what anyone says. He doesn't write anything bit he has his moments.

Also Poppy being a Clay stan idc idc idc

I LOVE SEEING MORE TYPES OF TROLLS. especially interesting when they don't seem like the typical singing ones!

Mount outrageous being a place without a single adult is... I have several questions on that. Whether that stayed in the final movie or not....

Concepts of the bergens remind me of old og Shrek designs.

Floyd not just being the more emotionally mature one is nice, he's also generally intelligent and clever/witty (from the artbook). Also, his style being confirmed emo is funny to me. Like, yeah, the hair is obvious, but now it gives me the pass to draw him wearing SO many cool/interesting outfits.

Creek concepts have me feeling annoyed at the fact that yeah... I can see it.

MOVING ON-

[saintmouthed]

dtcfdp chapter 2 (author commentary)

I fear it is time to Reread dtcfdp Again and I'm going to be so annoying about it, actually. Anyway I'm gonna basically reread my own fic and liveblog the experience. Chapter 2 commentary starts under the cut, but you can find chapter 1 commentary here if you're interested!

FLIRTING DISGUISED AS NEGOTIATION...oh I see that's always been a favorite of mine.

"But it’s difficult not to feel like life is passing him by, stuck in this temporary place between all the milestones of ‘average’ adulthood and unable to find his way to the next stage, watching everyone else leave him behind. With jobs, with relationships, with careers. If not with those things, then at least they know what they want and how to get it."

yeah I was going through it in early adulthood, how did you know? (I wanted this fic to like... explore that more thoroughly, but I had SO MANY threads going on in this fic, and the most interesting was the goofiness and the kink, so that's what we got)

(though this does remind me that I found my notebook where I brainstormed dtcfdp in the first time,,, perhaps I will share some of those notes as a DVD extra at the end of the commentary)

It was fun. It was kind of silly, though, because that’s just the way that we were, and I don’t think I necessarily left those encounters feeling like I got everything I could from it. R.

baby masochist R my beloved. SOOOO much projection in this fic, except my adventurous partner (the one that inspired this ex-boyfriend of R's) was too embarrassed to even admit they were into That even though it was so obvious and I knew.

Aren’t you a sadist? Do you even know the meaning of the word? R. For the sake of making sure you’re comfortable playing with me at the end of the week, I absolutely know the meaning of the word. Ange. What about for the sake of honesty? R. Rarely. Ange.

been talking about this a lot lately. Another thing that I wanted in the fic but it never made it into the actual text. I always imagined that Enjolras had a nasty breakup with someone in the scene before he met Grantaire and he blames himself, and that's why he's holding back so much and trying so so hard to be careful with Grantaire's boundaries. Of course that's part of where the whole mess comes in, they're both so worried they're doing something Wrong that they don't want to Talk to each other. lmao.

Besides, Fantine lets him use the wheels after-hours and on his days off so long as he pays for the clay, and sometimes he really fucking misses the ceramics lab.

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS...oh Grantaire and Joly and Bossuet only drink from Grantaire's hand thrown mugs. When he first started working at the Paint and Party, they were so wonky and small because he was out of practice. Now they're increasingly elaborate, to the point where Joly and Bossuet still use the wonky ones because they're afraid of dropping the pretty ones.

If you’re asking me if I’m attracted to you, though, the answer is yes. Ange

writing dtcfdp enjolras is soooo fun. Especially when I get to write his POV, because to Grantaire he's always trying his best to be suave and charming and mean, meanwhile mentally he's swearing up a storm.

Mhm. There’s nothing quite like it, and I am all kinds of mean there is. Ange.

LIKE THIS

“You feed your adventure to a hungry dragon,” Bossuet adds, helpfully. Grantaire doesn’t know how he manages to sound so excited. Bossuet has consistently gotten terrible rolls no matter the game or the dice, and out of the four of them, even with as much as they play together, he’s the only one who’s had multiple characters die in-game due to unfortunately timed crit-fails.

I STILL HAVEN'T PLAYED THIS GAME RIP....poor Grantaire having all his TTRPG characters die. That was cruel of me

the negotiation... tearing up, remembering my early forays into the scene,,, wow

Not this time, he says. R. This time? Ange.

as much as Grantaire goes insane for Enjolras saying "next time" in this fic... you just KNOW that Enjolras is frothing at the mouth at this mention.

Which is fine. He's fine (section break) He is not fine.

this never fails to make me laugh.

“This is my cue to remind you that everything about this is up to you.” “I know.” Grantaire says, voice muffled against his shoulder. “You can go home right now, if you like.” “I know.” “I absolutely will not ask you to do anything you don’t want to do.” “I know.” Grantaire says, once more, with a huff of laughter.

Ange runs his hand up and down Grantaire’s back in a comforting gesture before pulling away to look at his face. “Good. It’s always worth repeating just once more. Now, what would make you feel most comfortable? Do you want to call it off for today, or try another time, maybe?”

genuinely crying now....I love them and also just, agh. I loved getting to write him as gentle in these crucial moments. I love a sadist as you probably know but I also love a "hey, reminder, you're safe, you're in control" sweetness.

“That’s cute.” Ange says. “But unnecessary. Save your ‘sir’s for when I actually punish you.”

was just talking about this too!!!! this was legitimately my favorite thing to play with in this fic. Grantaire constantly throwing around sarcastic "sir yes sir"s and Enjolras tolerating it.... until That Scene

“Words, please.”

fucking menace. I hate when they do this (by which I mean I think it's mean, by which I mean I love it) but also I LOOOOOVE saying it myself. So. The duality of man.

“How are you feeling?” “…A little bit…fuzzy.” Ange chuckles, resting his hands on Grantaire’s thighs. “Happy?” Grantaire has to think about this for a moment. “Yeah, I guess so. Why?” “Because you’re grinning like crazy.” Grantaire touches his face to confirm that he is, in fact, grinning a wide smile. “Oh.”

SCREAMS... I forgot about this. FUCK. I love this. SO MUCH.

I'LL HOLD YOU AS LONG AS YOU NEED....do you ever CRY. I love the chapters that end like that. it's so CUTE.

this was so fun. I love reading over this fic, and lately people have really been flattering me telling me they reread it too. <3

next chapter commentary coming soon!

[batmanrogues-scenarios]

Thoughts on Arkham City

The beginning with Catwoman was so interesting and Two Face suddenly showing up was a nice little scare

The Strange name definitely sparked interest

Lmao Bruce "Billionaire. Millionaires are so last year." was fucking brilliant.

Hugo knowing Bruce secret is honesty so good of idea

Wait, how did Wayne's destroyed Penguins family?

Two Face isn't sexist, he believes in beating ANYONE if deserved

I like Harleys new outfit

Bane wanting to help Batman is interesting concept

The fake out with Joker being dead was pretty good

Selina calling Pamela Red is so cute

Penguins museum is pretty creepy

Batman is a fucking dick for what he had done to Viktor Really Bat? You tell people enough?

Never heard of woman who knew Rā but it's cool they added Talias assassins

Not big on Talia x Bruce

Really Oracle? What if Bruce is killing them? Do they forgot Clay face exist?

It's so weird seeing Robin in costume but he's adult. It just it hits with itself so much

Don't like Talias outfit + Rā's challenge was kinda boring

Rā is an asshole

I did not expected Hush to be the face killer, I thought Black Mask or Clayface

Of course Joker took Nora, at least

Batman isn't enough of dick to leave her

Heard of Azreal before but dude is still weird

I didn't expected Hatter's to sound so cute but his scene is seriously creepy

I didn't expected Zsasz to want his parents back, that's cool motiv

When I saw Deadshot have to assassinate Bruce I was like "Oh, he will go for Hush"

Zszasz story is actually pretty good

Ok but Talia saving Bruce was nice

FINALLY we're back to Catwoman, I honesty forgot about her

Did Pamela wanted to murder Selina because she didn't watered her plants? Lmao

Very bad move with plant Catwoman

Selina not wanting to leave Batman is so sweet

Aight, nevermind then

Wait it's over?!

Nah, there's no way it's happening, it's gotta be Fear Toxin or something

Oh it was multiple choice

Of course Batman is willing to sacrifice life's for sword lady; at least he make a good choice in the end

Hugo feels like someone who sees problem and decides best resolution I'd to eliminate it

Hugo deserved that

I did not expected Rā to kill Hugo

Of course there's Protocol 11

Rā death was kinda funny

I knew Joker was dead because I watched Arkham Knight I the best wasn't expecting it to be because of Talia

I'm with Bayman on no killing but at least she took it in her own hands instead of pressuring Batman into it

Ok twist was pretty good

Might not like Talia but she's good girlfriend

Joker looks horrible; wait then who played him?

Ah Clayface; I like how he just wanted to play Joker. Wait his name is Karlo? I knew him as Matt from BTAS, I just learned few villains use the same name (it isn't going to be confusing at all)

Bat just fucking slashed him into pieces

Bruce with sword is kinda cool

Fact that Batman actually thought about not giving Joker cure but it was Joker action that lead to it being destroyed is ironic

Bat carrying Joker like Robin is nice reference

Not suprised Bat didn't anserw Gordon's question, he has the right after that whole fuckery

Cat just woke up and immediately started kicking ass like it was nothing

Oswald being afraid of Cat lol

I feel like game is going for too long with Selina trying to get her stuff back

Batman disappearing is quite interesting

Ah, so it was Tim

Harley basically went emo

Tim deserves a Thank You

No, Batman isn't alright

I think I liked it more than the first one but overall it was pretty okay game.

Tapes :

Riddler

I love how defeated he was at the end

Catwoman

I like how they went more in depth of her character; it would be cool to see Holly

Mr Freeze

I really like his origins, him trying to freeze neighbors pets was an interesting detail

Joker

I like how they used Killing Joke as hid backstory, and theory that what he's saying is true just to fuck with Strange

Penguin

He is such asshole but in unlikeother versions he's an idiot, not big of a fan

Two Face

I love the voice acting, I wish they could talk more about Bruce that would be interesting

Zsasz

I talked about it earlier but I love his backstrory, there is actual group of people who thinks like that and it's scary

Mad Hatter

That was both sad and terrifying, he is completely detached from reality

[shinahbee]

Fall favorites 2022!

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GREETINGS

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October 30th/2022

Happy Halloween!

It’s been like 4 months since the last update.lol. As you can tell I was busy with life. Specifically work and preparing to possibly open my etsy store soon.

I have been testing out different prints to sell and stickers, also thinking about making some clay pins. I have seen some videos on sellers making them and I have all the tools so why not right?

I’ll let you guys know more as it gets closer to opening date. I also have not been reading many webtoons and that’s kind of why the reviews haven’t been monthly.lol. I have to say I probably reached the peak of reading good webtoons now and I just don’t find a lot of new stories that interesting. But I will try to compile at least a couple to talk about and feature them when I can.

Anyways, you’re not here to listen to me ramble about my life so let’s get to it.

                                          Happy reading!

Sheena

Please suggest me some dramas to watch...I’m just watching stranger things and i’ll review that after I’m done.

Recap:

I’m just going to put up the ongoing list only. I also eliminated some titles because they are now completed or I dropped them for now

Ongoing  

Liveta (hiatus)

Pearl boy

Semantic error

The foul (hiatus)

Secret relationships

Kings Maker (S2)

One night mate (hiatus)

Night fragments (hiatus)

The pizza delivery man and the gold palace

Dangerous convenient store

Updates on ongoing titles:

I think the recap section is going to be the longest this update...lol. Just a heads up Spoilers are ahead so if you don’t want to be spoiled ...don’t read it.

You may have noticed some of the ongoing ones are now finished. It was not worth mentioning. Turn off the camera, like how I figured jihoon ended up with yujin, of course...whatever choosing the second lead was never a thing in the first place so why do I bother....

I honestly don’t remember anything about semantic error anymore, it’s been so long since I last read it, I’ll have to get back on that train.

Secret relationships:

Oh boy...the absolute landmine, every person is triggered every Monday by any type of update, lmao it’s honestly so funny to see people defend a 2D character like they are best friends and just covering for their mistakes and making up things to excuse their actions...I’m like, dude if this was your actual friend you would call them out on their shit, you would end your friendship with them if they did something stupid. Needless to say this is all fiction...don’t be rude to other people just cause you have different opinions.

Let me just say the last few updates, if it’s not a flash back it’s a really confusing chapter. I have said this before and I’ll say it again, the plot line at this point is fan service up until now the story had been 75% flashbacks and maybe less than 25% story...it was not until chapter 110 that finally something happened that moves the story forward..Meaning that Daon was finally able to let go of jaemin and go their separate ways, whatever happened in the last 10 years was draining and heavy on both parties, they kept this whole weird relationship going on as more a security sense rather than anything else, even if it was the biggest betrayal a person can commit. It was really hard to read because it is like a 10 year relationship break up where you don’t want to let go because it’s familiar and at the same time you need to choose yourself and think about what you want and just not care. This is the hardest thing people can go through at the time but let me just tell you after it’s all done and time goes by...it will be just fine...just know that and move forward and things will work out!

Maybe I’m giving that author too much credit but that chapter was daon’s defining moment, and I was really happy for him, finally he was able to let go and chase after his own happiness, not saying it has to be Sunghyeon...but just in general being free from something that isn’t working.

But speaking of Sunghyeon...well a picture is worth a thousand words right? After he runs off from jaemin, he went running straight into a certain person’s arms.

Following up to the next chapter 111, Daon talked about how he was ready to start something new and he wants to do that with sunghyeon, so asked for a chance to be with him. I cannot tell you how long I have waited for this from them, my sungda fangirl heart was screaming. I have to say sunghyeon’s reaction was very real and understanding especially since he didn’t know what had happened between him and jaemin and didn’t really know how to react, most people would expect him to just kiss him right there and then...which Korean dramas love to portray as romantic, but he didn’t and instead was hesitating a bit since he was contemplating about his relationship with daon at this point and whether or not he trusts him since in a way daon did betray his trust more than a few times, but in the end he accepted him. This makes him feel anxious and daon reassures him by holding his hand while they are in a taxi, signifying that he wasn’t going anywhere I guess.

On that note some stupid comments were made by people who clearly are just dumb and don’t realize that there are something called “trains” in Korea and not everyone drives cause they were all salty about sunghyeon not for his character but because he does not having a car and therefore he’s poor why would you choose him...I’m like I don’t know what money you are making to afford one especially if you are an average salary office worker...

If this all you can come up with...educate yourself please. Haters be hating on really dumb things. I mean doesn’t everyone deserve to be with someone who encourages them rather than someone who disregards the person’s feelings and emotional well being?

Also the guy waited for Daon in the rain.  He stood in the pouring rain with Daon until he was able to collect himself and leave. Get yourself a man who will do that cause that is the kind of partner that will stand by you though hard times, and Daon was at his lowest point, he essentially lost a relationship he worked so hard to maintain and now is unsure about this new relationship.

I’m saying “unsure” meaning that he has never been in a proper relationship involving both parties being mutually interested. So he does not know how this is going to go.

But I’m so glad Sunghyeon stood with him and held him in that moment.

After wards, they went to Sunghyeon’s place and washed up...not together..I presume. And Sunghyeon was patching up Daon’s feet because he ran out of jaemin’s place without his shoes...he just needed to go. During this time there was so much sexual tension between the two and Daon started giving some “bed room” eyes that does not go unnoticed by Sunghyeon and they started to make out...believe me when I say that I stopped breathing for a sec...lol.

Now saying this there are people who believe that it would not be right to engage into sexual activity as Daon is emotionally vulnerable, but from the way he looked at him..it looked like he was waiting for something to happen, his lips where parted a little and cheeks flushed and eyes locked onto sunghyeon, I don’t know...looked like he wanted a kiss. So there is nothing wrong with wanting to touch the person you love, he is aware of what’s going on and does not reject it so we should just let it be and stop being salty just ‘cause your pairing is not the end game. But I guess we will see what happens in the next chapter....I’m happy clearly.

Pearl boy:

Guess who’s back...

Can I just say that season 3 is here and the art just keeps getting better, the creator is working real hard on the art and it really shows...she is so talented.

I think where we left off was when dooshik had come back from his ex’s funeral and had overheard some dudes in a van talk about kidnapping jooha, these men were actually pilwon’s henchman. It’s been a while since I wrote his name lol, I almost wrote pinworm again.

From the first few chapters you can tell that dooshik was being anxious but not really vocalizing it to jooha which made him frustrated since he was going to start working at a sushi restaurant he applied for when they were out on a date. There were snippets of dooshik’s past and you got to see the glimpses of what he went through during his time in jail and the host club. There was a line that he said that was intriguing, “I can’t seem to get rid of this smell” and it was from the time where he was in jail presuming that he had blood on his hands from getting into fights and even after starting anew at the host club he would still encounter that “smell” and saying that he was can never get rid of it no matter how many times he tried to cover it. I’m not really sure if this is what he meant, but to me that phrase just means you can never forgot where you come from, you can’t cover up the things you’ve done. I still don’t know what happened and how he ended up in prison back then, maybe when it is revealed then I’ll figure it out.

Also a lot of new characters were introduced, I really like sunghyun, I think he could be a good ally for dooshik but it does not look like their relationship is that great and he does not seem to trust dooshik. I don’t know why...but some part of me would really enjoy the thought that he secretly had a crush on dooshik...lol. I don’t know why maybe because I know jooha and dooshik’s love is so strong that it seems impenetrable so I don’t mind it if it were true.

I think the thing I liked the most is the progression of dooshik and jooha’s relationship, I mean yes they were cute together before but they are 10x more romantic and in deeper sense, they trust each other even if they can’t communicate their feelings well. Just seeing jooha look at the picture of them together and looking all smitten is really rewarding after all the things he went through, he was getting the opportunity to build his future together with dooshik and that made him excited.

Who wouldn’t get excited look at dat face yall....he’s so fine...

Lol anyways, I hope the English translations will come out soon cause I don’t fully understand from just summaries and raw pictures. I definitely know something bad is about to happen because in the chapter that described how dooshik and sunghyun met , sunghyun had asked what does he want in exchange for giving him Intel, and dooshik just said he wanted jooha to be safe

And right after that a bunch of foreshadowing of events yet to come was shown, dooshik was bleeding and on a stretcher with a oxygen mask attached clearly being sent to the hospital and jooha looked like he was trying to run to him and screaming while looking wrecked, while there are faint beeping sounds of the heart monitor in the background, that whole segment I can visually see it happening and I was not ready for it. So get ready for me to cry a river when that happens.

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Welcome to some spicy reads (21+)

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Killer Crush:

Breaking News: Professional killer Joo Tae Man fell in love with Korea's favorite actor, Kang Da Hyuk! Professional killer Joo Tae-man has endured extreme physical training, mental education, and cruel torture-- but somehow easily falls apart to Kang Da-hyuk's kindness...?

Joo Tae Man who has trained for years as a professional killer thought “is this love?”

What should I do at times like this?”

I think part of my not reading more BL manhwa is because of shitty summaries like this

So this story starts off with a group of thugs interrogating this man for information and the gang leader gets a call saying that the target is with them and the leader was baffled because the target was right here tied up. Turns out the target had killed the guy guarding him and turns out to a hired hitman. The hitman’s name is joo tae man, and he is like a phantom assassin that leaves no traces of his victims and is what these thugs have been having trouble dealing with lately.

Another person named kang dahuyk is Koreas’ favorite actor who wanted to try out a different role as a killer and was not able play the role perfectly, due to his face  being too pretty.lol.

Not wanting to be boxed in as a one trick pony he finds ways to improve his acting ability including following tae man who had the look of a serial killer to his part time job as a convenience store part timer only to learn the ways of getting into character. in the store an old drunk man was harassing tae man at the counter and his thoughts of killing him is so funny...he wanted to break his spine just to get him to shut up.lol. but of course that would blow his cover

But then da hyuk said that he’d pay for the old man just so he wouldn’t start something. He then bought a coffee and gave it to tae man saying it was for him and that made taeman’s stone cold heart go crazy...lol. The boy fell in love for the first time in his 34 years of existence..oh boy

Dahyuk had been on his mind since that day and it turns out that he had a boss and co-worker that were also killers and they can sense that something is off about taeman and they were finding ways to torture the crap out of him just to purge the romantic feelings out...lol. Out demon!

Dahyuk became interested in taeman and started to show up at the convenient store often, there was a confirmation between taeman and the gang leader from chapter 1, the gang leader had suspected the killer was nearby and could possibly be taeman so he decided to confront him.

Dahyuk tried to save taeman and almost ended up getting hit in the process. This was what initiated them to actually talk to each other and they found that they enjoyed each other’s company and dahyuk gave him his number, his colleague was telling him to turn him down by being rude on the phone, instead they made plans to have a date in the “mountains” which is what dahyuk wanted in the first place, he wanted to observe taeman to improve his acting skills.

During their trip together, taeman did everything to be a turn off to dahyuk trying to make him seem like the worst person, but ended up with dahyuk slipping and hurting his leg and they both were almost getting attacked by boars. One of the boars was going to kill dahyuk but taeman jumps in and kills it, thinking that he exposed himself and that dahyuk was disgusted by him he apologizes. Dahyuk was in fact convinced that he had served in the Special Forces and that’s why he knew so much about hunting and was just glad that he’s not hurt.

Things progressed well after and taeman started to accept the fact that he likes taeman and found other ways to get involved with him, the gangster in chapter one was targeting dahyuk for some reason and that made taeman more inclined to be involved. His friend however...has major issues and didn’t like the fact that taeman and dahyuk may like each other and he his love interest (boss man) didn’t give a crap about him. He tried to mess up their relationship by pretending him and taeman were dating, this made dahyuk back off a couples days from contacting taeman, until the boy does not care anymore and just wants to see him. Taeman felt the same and said that he won’t let this affect his work even if he was interested in another person, so they ran to meet up with each other and some cute events happen...

You’ll need to read it to find out cause i’ll just stop here. This was a really interesting read, I mean I can actually see this getting an anime adaptation because it’s just light hearted comedy and it has a good mixture of romantic scenes between two awkward people and comedic scenes in how they deal with their emotions. I highly recommend this if you want something fun to read. You can read this on Lezhin comics.

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Trash segment (21+)

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a.k.a the part of the series where I shit on your favorite manhwa/manga/webtoon etc. Joking but not really, you have been warned.

This is the new section where you’re going to find titles that I dropped and the reasons why I discontinued the series all together, fair warning if you triggered by people criticizing your favorite series then you may want to skip this section all together. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not every series that is “popular” or well liked by others will be like by all...therefore if there is content that makes a person uncomfortable enough to stop the series, that is on them and please don’t judge them for their morals.

So to recap, the series that I mentioned dropping so far are

Love or Hate

Yours to claim

Wistful summer

Anti-p.t.

The sound of fire

Kiss damnation

Cherry blossoms after the winter

Chasing Mr. CEO

Who’s a sweet cheater?

Another sequence

Thinking of dropping Love is a fantasy...lol. This goes to show you that the author only knows how to write certain type of stories, the situations between the adults in here seems more like teenagers dealing with puberty rather than adults dealing with these situations. So I’ve become uninterested at this point.

Currently watching chainsaw man so i’ll let you know how that goes. Liking it so far.

No music suggestions this month, please recommend me some!

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Ending note:

Hello,

You have reached the end, what do you think? Sorry for the one review really but like I’ve said nothing has been catching my attention as of late due to me being busy with work and side projects. Hope fully I can go back to writing monthly again.

I will update about my shop once that is up and running, and I will work on more art soon, I have uploaded a few prints that will be available for purchasing, if you have any ideas of prints you would want to see please let me know in the comments!

Okay, bye for now.

Take care

sheena

[yuyu-bi]

also well uh....we finished the first season of sons of anarchy.....yeah that happened lmao 

the plot finally started to happen in the second half of the season but like i have more issues than not lmao and i do hope it gets better it’s better when shows have a continuous plot rather than episodic plots that only last for one episode

first of all... the love triangle or whatever it is between jax tara and wendy...unecessary and literally being forced on wendy by gemma like??? you tried to kill this girl bc you thought she wasnt good enough for jax and then you pull her back in and give her false hope that her and jax could be together again bc she just really doesnt want tara w jax??? so you would rather the recovering addict who is still trying to figure herself out rather than an established doctor to be w your son??? also they’re like in their 30s why is gemma even involved w this i wonder if jax will ever call her out for this bc he knows she doesnt like tara

gemma even asked wendy if she still loved jax and she was like ‘well...sure i guess so’ like come on my guy what is this let her get to a stable point in her life first before giving her hope of getting her family back lmao 

the whole situation w opie possibly (not) being a rat for the club was handled in the worst possible way like especially bc legitimately if they took the time at actually really think about the possibility of him betraying the crew it would literally be borderline impossible for him to do so? and bc of that they got his wife killed which is dumb and i hate it :((( like opie spent probably the majority of the season trying to have more to do in the crew bc they weren’t sure if he was fully back in or not since donna didnt like him being in the club to begin with (since that is what got him sent to jail) but like if you see him doing that why would you think he flipped so easily?

i blame tig mainly clay def seemed a lot more hesitant at first before they found the wires in his car (which is valid) but like why not confront him first about it? they had this weird scene where opie had to like prove his innocence but he didnt really do that even lmao but like if there ever is a mole i dont think it would be him tbh not at all plus tig was the one that actually killed donna (i get the impression clay doesn’t actually do that type of stuff unless it’s like really personal to him lmao)

also like why is the fbi lady trying to manipulate these people who know more about the crew than she does and acts like she knows the actions people do despite never interacting w them??? like why act so cocky and arrogant especially when you yourself said that you dont even really care about this you just wanted something to bring back to your bosses so why sabotage literally everything and then at the end be like ‘oh i fucked up sorry’??? annoying and i hope she goes away for good 

[jakelcckley]

omg the leftovers hcs were amazing 😭💙 you're an amazing writer

How do you think the moonboys would react if they found you having fast reflexes? Like if one of them was clumsy steven and dropped something but you caught it unnaturally fast. (My brother has fast reflexes and my sister always throws stuff at him to catch his off guard lol)

omg thank you so mucchhh!! I used to write fanfics before (especially harry potter fanfics lmao) but I stopped because of my grammatical errors. And hmmmm, fast reflexes, eh? Let's see what could I come up with how it happened and how each of them reacts:

Steven: was awestruck of how fast your reflexes are. It first happened when you were just passing by at the national museum. He looked like one of those tour guides and you went up to ask him what the etched symbols in the clay tablets meant (because you were in a museum, and the least thing that you could do is actually learn the background and history that you have zero knowledge of, right??). He looked like a deer in the headlights at first but after a few seconds of awkward silence, he gave you the rough translation of it and you were amazed by his ability to translate the symbols and how much information he holds about the history of Egypt. You commended him for it, and he has gotten all shy and fidgety. His name is steven (as you read out from his badge) and it turns out that he's not a tour guide and he handles the gift shop within the museum. His stuttering behavior alone is enough to know that he is not used to receiving praises and being under the spotlight. Due to steven's erratic movements; unbeknownst to him was there's a hundred year old ancient looking jar behind him with just a single fragile pillar as a stand. it really looks like one of those artefacts that was not supposed to be left alone without a glass case. Before you know it, you moved in a light speed manner and caught the heavy, scary looking jar on your hands just in time before it tilts completely and fell off to the floor. Steven was frozen and wide-eyed in fear, and all he could see that time is his love of his life saving his arse from being fired.

Marc: didnt mind it at first after steven recounted the story of your meet-cute with him in the museum and how steven was engrossed to you already even after the management still fired him. After being together with them for almost a year and after the whole incident of harrow summoning ammit: you have successfully insisted marc to bring you in a mission after he lost the bet between you two; and what happened after, it left marc dumbfounded. The mission was already going sideways as soon as marc realized that the target had already become aware of your presence. Marc couldn't reach you any faster and the target had unexpectedly thrown a ticking time bomb to where you are standing. He watched you turn around to catch the ticking bomb with your hand at lightning speed. it was just in time before it countdowns into zero and you have thrown it back with all of your might to the target where it successfully landed and exploded. Marc was stunned after witnessing how quick your reflexes are, even Khonshu shuts up for the first time. Steven took granted of Marc's stillness and fronted to cheer and shower you with praises for how good that was. After that night and when you two reach home, Marc finally shows up and kisses you roughly before his kisses turned mellow and soft, almost apologetic. Marc still couldn't believe what happened back there and he promised that he won't bring you any more in his missions because he fears that your life is in peril every time you are out of his sight and your reflexes might not be enough to keep you alive in the long run. Marc couldn't bear the idea of losing you and he will blame himself forever if that happens.

Jake: was the other persona who you have not met yet properly, but you are kinda aware of. You became used to the nights where you are suddenly awoken at 2 am because of the lack of warmth coming from the other side of the bed. The only traces left by your partner on your home were the creases in the pillow and sheets. it's already 4 am and you couldn't sleep anymore because of the uneasiness on your stomach ever since you woke up, and jake or whoever fronted in the middle of the night is still nowhere to be found. Instead, you tried to distract yourself by sitting at the kitchen and turning your laptop on. you decided to check your email that was bombarded with emails coming from secure and encrypted networks. Minutes later after scrolling and opening some of the emails, you instinctively tuned out the eerie white sound of your apartment before swiftly moving out of the chair and landing behind the kitchen counter to hide. Your eyes traced the knife that pierced through the wooden kitchen cabinet above the kitchen sink. It was thrown at your direction when you were (stupidly) sitting with your back at the open. A slow and heavy clap resounded in the silence of your flat and you cautiously stood up to see who it was. Unmistakably, it was jake who entered the apartment through the window with a dangerous smirk plastered on his face. He opened his mouth and a hoarse rough voice filled the tense air, "eres muy rapida, corazón. Muy buena en ocultar tu identidad también." (You're very fast, sweetheart, very good at hiding your identity too) Jake says, "how about coming with me on a ride, agent?"

THAT WAS SUCH A RIDE OMG. IM SORRY IF IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO RESPOND AND IT FELT LIKE THIS WAS A REACH??? I'm sorry if it's not what you expected but it ended up with the reader as a secret agent and a trained ex-assassin, it is the only explanation why you have unnaturally fast reflexes. jake leaves every midnight and he uses his connections to gather information about you.

thank you so much for reading and sending me this!!! I had a great time imagining this whole thing and this is the result of it lol. I apologize if there are any grammatical errors, i also used google translator for jake and I apologize if there are errors in that translation. I am open for corrections, and i appreciate them 🫶🏼. I will sleep now as it is almost 7 AM from where I am lol.

Thank you once again @avatar-of-procrastination 💥 hope that you like it!

Link to the headcanon about who's more possesive: marc or jake?

Link to the headcanon about our moon boys finding out that you ate their leftovers.

[sootneo]

i basically wrote the main selling point of tv show hannibal but hear me out,

in all his career and life, wilbur had never seen something nearly as creepy, weird, nauseating and fucking mental like his new case. he was an amazing and reliable investigator, known throughout all of europe, so of course he was the one the italian police called when they found the freakiest crime scene ever seen in the history of that country: a freezer in sapienza, filled with corpses of hundreds of people – they had to count after retrieving them because at one point four mortuaries still weren't enough for some reason – that were presumably killed by one single person. he obviously accepted to be the head investigator of it, being paired with a few guys: seán jack, brian terroriser and alex quackity. some police officers that were helping them out were george notfound and nick sapnap.

first and foremost, he had two suspects, one being clay dream, based on some background checks and his involvement with the whole case, being seen close to the crime scene, and his closeness to he officers which seemed really shady. and the other being a local, based on criminal record, also being seen close to the crime scene and knowing the owner of the establishment. the second guy gets a public defender, meanwhile clay has enough money to hire a professional criminal defence attorney: daniel condren.

while clay doesn't get proven innocent and walks free, daniel gets in contact with wilbur and notifies him he has started conducting his own investigation, which sounds and is normal, until they start crossing paths way too often, principally when daniel seems to be so incredibly friendly towards him – and even though will is sure there is something illegal about being the head investigator who's having a coffee with the main suspect's lawyer, he doesn't mind having him as background when he's doing research.

but will does start caring when evidence start to sound weird, wrong or not like he first remembers seeing it as. witnesses telling different stories, objects so small and barely noticeable disappearing, things appearing too, new clues, new paths, new names, the victims barely having anything to back him up even though he, at some point, felt like he had everything in his hands – it's like he was hallucinating some things, like he didn't hear them, seen the right way, like he was going crazy. now he's just doing everything while keeping his eyes glued on every move daniel makes, on every word he says, he even starts secretly investigating daniel himself, but why can't he find any proof of his involvement and only proof of the fact that maybe he is indeed going insane?

he doesn't know that clay has nothing to do with anything. nor does the second suspect. actually, he is right about daniel. he has been the one behind the butcher of sapienza, and his friend alex, quackity, has been helping him carefully manipulate stuff behind the scenes.

also, because i can't live without some crime boys input into aus, so i wanna say that wilbur was kinda glad he didn't let his pupil, tommy, follow him to the scene and left him out of the case. such a young man didn't deserve to witness the same horror will did.

also also, i don't know much about the whole crime world 👍🏻 LMAO so i don't really know how to write about these things. i think i'd have to watch hannibal to get a grip on how he was that good at hiding it. and i know hannibal was like. a psychologist. which makes stuff easier for him. but rt is way too smart to not be able to do the same stuff as him in an au where he's just an evil phoenix wright.

[keravnos-kori]

Hi love! You asked for some low-quality Tech content and I hope it’s okay for me to deliver you a silly little flustered Tech thot.

So the two of you are out for a date-date. Like, your first real one. Tech had arrived precisely on time to pick you up, looking extremely uncomfortable (but very handsome) in borrowed civilian clothes that Echo and Wrecker wrestled him into after hearing he was just going to wear his armour. He’d been stiffly upright the entire walk here, your hand in the crook of his arm, talking a mile a minute about nothing in particular; a nervous tic of his. He doesn’t seem much less nervous now that you’re at dinner.

He’s leaning across from you at the table, where he keeps clearing his throat and blinking too fast, telling you about the life-cycles of the sautéed Neimoidian crustaceans on your plate. He describes how they secrete a hormone from their leg-joints to signal that they’re ready for mating, and how the females select their partner based on the lustre of their shells, and how the males prepare the females’ reproductive organs with their mouths before they penetrate their egg-sacs, and how the preparation stage can last for hours—days at a time. He’s still talking, his nervousness obvious, when you lay your hand over his.

“Days might be pushing it a little. But hours doesn’t sound too bad to me.” It’s worth it just to see the colour his ears turn. For the first time tonight, he stops talking, his eyes huge behind his glasses. As he stares across at you, you offer him an encouraging little smile, and his posture finally relaxes, just a touch.

(How do you think the rest of the evening pans out? No pressure if you don’t want 💕) x

Hiiiiiiiiii Sam!!!!!!! Congrats on becoming my favorite most special and epic mutual of the week - I genuinely can't express the emotions I felt when I woke up this morning and saw this in my inbox. You're really too good to me for pandering to my tumultuous emotional state with a character maybe two and a half other people care about as much as I do lmao. I've read this a billion times and I'm not afraid to admit that I'm currently shirking some homework in order to respond to this. What you sent me is entirely perfect and I'd love to expand on it a bit more if you'd all me...

· Sorry in advance if these thoughts are so scattered but

· Could you imagine Tech just being so completely and utterly out of his comfort zone in this situation? The clothing, the physical proximity, this non-militarized setting where just two people who like each other are meant to dine and converse and revel in the company? Eating actual food that doesn’t come prepackaged or tasting of raw clay?

· No wonder he’s nervous and coping the only way he knows how…

· This is your first real date together. His first real date period. No matter who asked who out or planned on the setting, he wants so desperately to impress you, which only adds to his uptight demeanor – does he realize the lack of eye contact might come off as a bit antisocial? In the back of his mind, he does. Does he care that every time he clears his throat, he’s worried you might think him to be an acid reflux-ridden Wookiee? More than he’d like to admit.

· But he can’t stop talking – just as a Binexan Shark must swim to survive, so must Tech with his own mechanism.

· The truth is, the domesticity of it all is reallygetting to him – the wardrobe, the ambiance, and you, dressed more casually than how he’s used to seeing you, looking as magnificent as ever and sitting right across from him with those unwavering eyes that display such devotion, such attention.

· So when you crack your little innuendo of a joke, the whole scene breaks down around him.

· You want him to feel comfortable, to relax – you knew Tech could get a little wound up in normal circumstances, but right here, right now, was meant to be different: intimate and special and a major change of pace from what the pair of you are used to.

· You adore his reaction as your hands touch, but you’re the one left in a state of shock as his own turns ever so slowly underneath yours, adjusting your palm and running his thumb across the top of your fingers.

· Public displays of affection weren’t really Tech’s strong suit. In general, any display of affection was few and far between - you could tell how much of an effort he was putting in to connect with you in this moment.

· He might pay a compliment to your wit and crack a small smile himself, which is just enough praise for you – you’re more than willing to laugh at your jokes for you both.

· The part that means the most to him from your silly comment is the fact that you were absorbing all of his espousal to begin with. You listened to him, enough to synthesize the information and attempt to crack a joke.

· A joke that wasn’t at the expense of his intelligence.

· Once the ice breaks, you can tell he’s appreciating the outing just a bit more. He’s been given a night to enjoy himself and you don’t intend to waste it with awkward, stiff interactions. You offer him more to drink and you goad him into sharing a dessert towards the end of the night. He initially declines, stating how he doesn’t have much of an experiential tolerance for sugar, and you cast your vote for the most obscenely decorated confection on the menu just to see his reaction. In the end, you compromise and convince him to split a caramelized jogan tart with you.

· You may or may not have offered him to steal a taste from your own spoonful.

· Yes, the tips of his ears turned red again.

· By the time your meal had ended, you found yourself across the table from where you started. There was still ample room between you, but neither of you had commented on the change of seating arrangement until you stood from your table.

· This was always the worst part of dates for you – you had always been so awful at reading social cues after events like these ended. Was the night officially over? Was he disappointed you both weren’t staying at the restaurant longer? Should you step up and offer to continue the escapade, suggest touring your surroundings and keep him to yourself for a while longer? What if he was exhausted and just wanted to retire for the night but decided to be too polite to turn you down?

· Sure enough, these were the thoughts on Tech’s geniusmind as well – if only you two didn’t have to return to the others at some point. Now that he found himself at ease, he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to return so soon, despite the night closing in and growing ever so colder in the process.

· But you don’t mention your desires, and neither does he - for once.

· Your trek back through the small town towards the barracks is a slow one, a leisurely one.

· Or depending on the perspective, the feeling of walking towards an imminent death that can only be delayed, not prevented.

· You try you best to stay positive.

· You pass a shimmering stone fountain just outside the township’s boundary, and you nod in its direction, a silent request.

· The pair of you veer off the path and take a seat on the edge of the cold marble ring surrounding the fountain – he’s a good few feet away from you, and you prayed to the Maker that he’d just move a little closer.

· He’s busying himself with recapping the extent of your date so far – regaling you with the tale of his initial wardrobe struggle, asking you if a recognized a certain species of flora that resided just up the road that you passed mere hours ago.

· He suggests he might take a quick scan tomorrow morning if the crew remains grounded an extra day.

· You just want him to move closer.

· He asks you if you enjoyed your meal, if everything was to your liking. What your favorite part was. If you preferred white over red wine.

· You just want him to move closer.

· He compliments the construction of the fountain you currently reside on, running a hand between the two of you in order the inspect the texture more closely.

· Your hand lands on his.

· And he’s silent again.

· And he notices you have that look in your eye still – the one he noticed after your joke, but one he now realizes never left your gaze all night.

· And you move closer.

· And closer.

· And closer.

· Until he can smell the coarse sugar and fruit of the tart you shared for dessert on your breath.

· And he can feel your body heat emanating between you despite the chill from the breeze.

· And he can taste your lips against his in a kiss he had wanted to partake in since he first escorted you from your quarters.

· Slow and soft and grazing, yet so tender and addictive and right.

· He pulls away, a bit too abruptly and you’re afraid you misjudged everything.

· You begin to worry your bottom lip between your teeth, and you notice his dark brown eyes following your actions in the light of the streetlamps.

· “I forgot to tell you.”

· “What is it?” Your voice is no more than a whisper.

· “The Neimoidian Firespit Lobsters mate for life.”

· You’re in the middle of breaking into a smile when he leans in for a second kiss.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 305: Worst Intervention Ever

Previously on BnHA: Shinomori, whose name took me an entire week to memorize, was all, “nice to meet you Deku, I’m ten feet tall, do you want to know how I died?” and without waiting for an answer explained that he kicked it from old age at forty thanks to good ol’ OFA. Deku was all “wait a minute, then how come All Might, who’s fifty-five and is definitely dyeing his gray hair, is still alive?” First and Shino were all, “we really have no fucking clue but we think it’s cuz he’s quirkless, JUST LIKE YOU!” So basically, since quirkless people don’t exactly grow on trees these days, Deku is probably going to be the last user of OFA. The chapter ended with Nana being all, “psst, Deku, about my grandson. Uh, can you kill him?” which is sure to lead to a very interesting conversation this week.

Today on BnHA: Nana And The Gang are all “so, Deku, how can we put this delicately. The thing is, we’re pretty sure that AFO really fucked my grandson up, so on the off chance you can’t save him, how would you feel about, you know... [throat slitting gesture].” Deku is all “idk you guys, I kinda feel like he’s really just a traumatized child at heart and he’s in a lot of pain and stuff and so I should try to help him.” The Vestiges are all “BUT WHAT IF YOU CAN’T” and Deku is all “BUT I WANT TO TRY, DAMMIT” and the Vestiges are all “well when you put it that way, we, uh, were just testing you, so congrats, you passed!” The chapter ends with First being all, “ANYWAY SO WHY DON’T YOU TWO SHY BOYS STANDING OVER THERE IN THE SHADOWS COME SAY HELLO” before we CUT AWAY FOR ANOTHER WEEK, goddammit.

seriously, Nana

just... have you met Deku?? look, if you really want Tomura dead, just sic him on the U.A. first years and tell Shouto and Honenuki that it’s a training exercise

oh my god lmao

we’re too far away to see Nana’s face here so I will just assume that she turned and is staring DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA for this one line lmao. “I just wanted to clarify in case anyone felt inclined to take my dialogue out of context and spend an entire week complaining about it”

oh my god?! are you all purposely trying to make me sad??

someone stop me before I launch into an impromptu rant about all my Tomura feels. WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING ME. oh my god but yes, exactly. he’s just in pain all the time. this is exactly why I think Tomura has such high redemption potential even though so far he seems to lack so many of the redemption arc essentials such as feeling remorse, wanting to change, and taking responsibility for his actions. the reason why I’m willing to overlook all that in his case is because Tomura has essentially had zero agency his entire life. AFO molded him into a killer by making sure he was in constant mental agony, and making it so that the only thing that even slightly relieved that agony was killing peeps. like, please don’t think I’m making excuses for him or anything, but if you take a child and manipulate their existence to make it virtually impossible for that child to grow up as anything other than a killer, and basically never give him the chance to be anything else, then no shit he’s gonna be a killer?? he’s basically never had the choice not to be. it’s never been an option for him. anyways I feel like I am EXPLAINING MYSELF SO BADLY but nonetheless I am prepared to die on this hill

anyway so now Nana is all “that’s a rhetorical question btw because Our Hearts And Minds Are One so we can feel everything you feel bro.” so yeah, that’s interesting

now Banjou is getting started on the “let’s try and talk Deku out of wanting to save Tomura because it’s insane” part of their OFA Mystical Space Void Reunion agenda

look, Banjou, I feel you, I really do. you guys don’t think it’s realistic that Deku can defeat Tomura without killing him. so if it’s a choice between killing Tomura vs letting Deku and everyone else in the entire world die, then duh, you think Deku should kill him. I get it! and if this were a real life mass murderer I’d totally agree with you. but the problem is that this isn’t real life, this is a sympathetic shounen villain with a tragic past who might as well have FUTURE REDEMPTION ARC RECEIPIENT stamped on his forehead at this point

so First is all “look, there’s absolutely no doubt my brother has fucked this kid up good and proper by now”, which, again, fair

though, that’s kind of exactly my point though. everything that Tomura is, everything he’s done, he’s done because of AFO. AFO has so effectively shaped his personality and his worldview by this point that it’s all but impossible to penetrate that. he’s AFO’s puppet. but the problem is that rather than treating him like a victim, you all are treating him like a casualty. like he’s already a lost cause. but good luck trying to convince Deku of that

WHOA WHAT, RANDOM SUPER-IMPORTANT AND BIZARRELY UNRELATED EXPOSITION DROPPED IN JUST LIKE THAT??

way to still not reveal Sixth’s name, btw. THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW, DAMMIT. but also so this confirms something we basically already knew already, which is that not even AFO can steal OFA. it literally can’t be taken away by anyone unless the owner wills it. SO SUCK ON THAT AFO YOU EGG

(ETA: so I have no idea why this was omitted from this translation, but apparently the Sixth’s name was revealed as “En”, which is obviously not his full name but at least it’s something. also he most likely has a fire or smoke-related quirk based on the kanji used, 煙.)

so Banjou is saying that Deku’s “lack of an iron will” could be a disadvantage against AFO. hahaha what?? Midoriya “I’ll break all of my bones without blinking an eye just to protect someone” Izuku lacks an iron will? do tell

he says this is going to be a test of Deku’s determination. well yeah, no shit. but just not in the way you guys think

OH HELLO AGAIN

darker hair again here! but I don’t trust the contrast in these scans at all after last week. his coveralls are way darker than they looked before too, and you can clearly see he’s standing in the shadows now

(ETA: yep, once again the raw shows that his hair is considerably lighter than what’s shown in these scans here. although there’s no mistaking now that his hair is consistently being colored in this slightly darker shade, and it’s not just the lighting.)

anyways lol First was saying something about how AFO can’t steal OFA, and they’ve spent all this time cultivating it as the ultimate weapon against AFO, and blah blah blah. go on then, keep lecturing

NANA GODDAMMIT NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT

girl what?? you did everything in your power to protect your family, and AFO, fucked up man that he is, targeted them anyway. there is one person and one person only to blame for what’s happened to Tomura, and that potato-faced asshole needs a good kick in the balls

NANA GODDAMMIT DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE

SO HELP ME GOD!! I WILL GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST HUG YOU’VE EVER HAD!! THAT IS A THREAT

so now Nana is all “I’m just going to call my grandson a Thing to ensure that fandom has only the freshest, grass-fed no-hormones-added discourse this week”

I don’t even need to drop into the tags to know exactly which specific people are going to respond to this, and what kind of posts they are going to write lmao. everyone’s all caught up in the “that thing”, and meanwhile I’m over here completely hung up on this “nay” that’s appeared out of NOWHERE you guys. look at that. she really said “NAY”

Nana, my love, my dearest, I feel you girl I really do. but he’s not an unforgivable manifestation of pure evil, Deku is exactly right actually, he’s a boy in pain. you guys need to stop questioning Deku’s shounen protagonist instincts here and just let him work his sparkly magic. “let’s try and convince Midoriya Fucking Izuku that he can’t save someone” is a plan that is NEVER going to turn out well you guys

“DEKU GODDAMMIT WHAT IF WE CAN’T SAVE HIM” lmao it’s like an intervention

“DAMMIT DEKU JUST ADMIT YOU HAVE A SAVING PEOPLE PROBLEM!”

RED ALERT IT’S ANOTHER CLOSE-UP OF THE BACK OF MISTER TWO BON CLAY’S HEAD OMG

(ETA: I was too distracted with freaking out about Two and Three to really appreciate how ridiculously handsome First looks in this panel. but on my second readthrough it stood out so much that I had to go back and add an extra bullet point just to talk about how hot he is. look at him. wtf.)

THAT IS DEFINITELY AN UNDERCUT. THE PLOT THICKENSSSS. also those are fucking exhaust vents on Mister Three’s neck. MISTER THREE COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO THE IIDAS, PLEASE TELL ME YOUR SECRETS I’M DYING OVER HERE

so now Deku is launching into what will undoubtedly be a “saving people problems require SAVING PEOPLE SOLUTIONS” heroic counter-speech!

I mean, they can already feel the “lol nah I’m gonna try and save him” feelings running through him lol. ~OuR hEaRtS aNd MiNdS aRe CoNnEcTeD~ and all that. this is just a formality, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good shounen protag speech

oh wait hold up, do you mean to tell me that the whole “hearts and minds are connected” thing I was just mocking just a paragraph ago actually allowed Deku to feel what Tomura was feeling?? like literally feel it??

YET AGAIN these Tomura feels are pounding on my front door you guys?? they just will not quit?? people my house is already full of feels, does it look like I need you to sell me any more of them?? -- what do you mean, they’re free??

AW YISS THAT’S IT DEKU. THAT’S SOME GOOD SPEECH RIGHT THERE

I appreciate the contrast here between the Douchebag Triumvirate of Overhaul, Muscular, and Stain versus the Misguided Twosome of Gentle and La Brava. never let it be said that Deku doesn’t know the difference between a redeemable villain and an unredeemable one

OH NO -- OH MY GOD

someone please help me I need directions to the OFA Spooky Galactic Nebula Realm in this fictional Japanese manga land. it’s not on google maps. I need to give these two babies a big hug and wrap them up in a blanket and treat them to some McDonalds Happy Meals please help

other things: (1) ENDEAVOR CHILLING OUT IN DEKU’S “PEOPLE I HOLD DEAR” PANEL LMAO NEON DISCOURSE EXTRAVAGANZA, (2) “ONE FOR ALL IS A POWER TO SAVE, NOT TO KILL” I’M ABOUT TO CRY DEKU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO FEEL ALL THIS LOVE, (3) [SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] THERE’S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING IRON WILL!!!!!!!! -- I’m sorry, please don’t call security, I’ll be good

I just randomly remembered that Deku is still saying all of this in his muffled “FMMPHHMMPHMM” voice and I’m somehow cracking up lol. so actually it’s a very good thing Their Hearts And Minds Are Connected, otherwise they’d no doubt be all, “...what?”

(ETA: so I completely missed this on account of it literally not being visible in the scan at all, but in the raw you can clearly see Baby Kacchan and Baby Shouto fanboying over All Might in two of these panels, and excuse me, ma’am??

thank you very much Deku for including them in your montage, particularly since you’ve never seen Baby Shouto before lol. amazingly accurate image you managed to conjure up, all things considered.)

SDKFJLSKHG -- AS IF ON CUE???

HE’S SO ADORABLE HELP?? Trippy Space All Might looks like he’s about to cry, and First is all “don’t crack a smile... you have to be Firm and Serious here... dammit, don’t smile” omg

anyways! YOU GO DEKU. “MY QUIRK MY RULES, BITCHES” damn, son

KLJLKKHLG TRIPPY SPACE ALL MIGHT LITERALLY ACTUALLY IS CRYING ALL MIGHT HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

“I JUST... [CLENCHES FIST] REALLY LOVE SAVING PEOPLE” FUCKING HELL LMAO THIS IS THE WORST INTERVENTION OF ALL TIME

Deku is literally all “sure, maybe I’ll have to kill him, but have you guys also considered, MAYBE NOT??” it’s no use Nana he’s too powerful

LMAO FIRST

“like I’ve been saying this whole time, you should definitely try saving Shigaraki Tomura.” “but, uh... First, didn’t you just -- ” “shut up”

(ETA: clearly it’s not just his brother who inherited those smooth-talking genes.)

so now Deku has turned back into a sixteen year old and his clothes have gone missing again. just OFA things

dskljdlsklgk

yes... sure... “testing” you...

HEY

FIRST OF ALL, DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI YOU MADE NANA CRY. even if I’m pretty sure they’re actually tears of happiness/relief. and SECOND OF ALL, “TELL MY BOYFRIEND I SAID HI” DJSKDLKJJL ANYWAY MAYBE GRAN, NANA, AND MR. SHIMURA WERE IN A THROUPLE

[SCREAMS]

WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE?? WHY WOULD YOU END IT THERE!!!!!

(ETA: and two-to-one odds that we cut away to some other scene once they finally start to turn around next week. I’M CALLING IT NOW. giving myself a week to brace myself for the rage.)

fucking hell. well if anyone needs me I will be adding Horikoshi fucking Kouhei to the list of irredeemable villains, peace

[the-underworld-aes]

Mafia 3

Okay so I’m gonna take the L and admit I’ve never played the other 2 games, I just watched the cut-scene movies on YouTube, and while I enjoyed the story and characters of the first 2, when I watched Mafia 3′s it DID something to me. So I actually went out and got the game so I can play it all myself.

First things first, I’m gonna wonder why people seem to hate this game so much until the day I die, sure it’s glitchy but not as bad as any Bethesda glitch I’ve seen and nothing game breaking, more or less just funny stuff like “lol that cop car exploded in the middle of the street. I’m gucci tho.”. I really like the time-period cause I actually like learning about the 60′s in American history because SO MUCH important stuff was set in motion back then. Others seem to not like how it’s nt focused on the Italian Mafia anymore and...sure?? I guess?? I mean they’re still there, you’re allied with some Italians while taking out the bigger Italian crime family (I think they’re mad that the protag is black and it’s an important part of the game tbh) And another complaint I see a lot is the games too repetitive, I think that’s the lamest excuse personally. I played this after I beat Far Cry 6, and honestly? It was NICE! I like being able to sneak and take people down, or just blow up everything!  Maybe it’s cause I’m autistic perhaps (ASD gang rise up!) but having a pattern was nice for me, I have a specific way of playing and it was fun. Hell, I’ve beat the game twice already cause it felt nice to play.

I know this game came out in 2016 and I’m way late to the party, I became aware of the Mafia series in 2021 and finally played Mafia 3 in March 2022. And I need to be physically restrained from playing it a third time lol.

Anyways onto the story and characters (SPOILERS BTW)

The story is so 😩👌💦💕 I love crime stories, I love historical fiction (sometimes...), I love seeing racists get CRUSHED, I love the time period, I love the music. It’s just AAHHHH so good!!!

Sure I guess a black Vietnam vet cruising around in 1960′s New Orleans isn't what you’d think when you imagine “American Mafia” but that’s a you problem at this rate, I’m having a great time.

I did like Tommy Angelo, and Vito Scaletta too, but Lincoln Clay is honestly my favorite of the 3 and I wish people looked at him and appreciated him more. Imma say something real controversial here: I know Vito is the fan favorite, he’s unofficially the face of the series now and while I DO LIKE HIM, I think... he makes a better side character in Mafia 3 (also low-key irritated Lincoln gets thrown to the wayside while everyone rushes to Vito). That’s just my personal opinion... also my man aged like milk, how is he 10 years younger than the Irish man dying of liver cancer and yet Burke has his hair color still while Vito looks so chewed up? lmao anyways yeah I do like Vito, when I pick up my kickback from him I always leave saying “Bye Peepaw!!”

Anyways, Lincoln comes back home from Vietnam and is ready to see his adopted family again, Sammy and Ellis Robinson (Father and Brother), Father James Ballard (Raised him in the orphanage before he got adopted and sticks around) and his other friends, Danny Burke and Giorgi Marcano. Without getting too much into it, Giorgi is the son of Sal Marcano, boss of the Marcano Crime Family (Which has power over Sammy Robinson and his Black Mob). Giorgi was friends with Lincoln, Ellis and Danny, but this whole time Sal had him playing the long game of eventually screwing them all over. It ends with Giorgi, Sal and an associate of the Dixie Mafia betraying them all after a job they did together (For Sammy to pay back Sal). Giorgi shoots Lincoln in the head, leaves him for dead, kills Danny, Richie Doucet (Dixie mafia) stabs Ellis to death and Sal shoots Sammy in the back. They burn down Sammy’s bar and in the flames Father James ran in looking for survivors and found Lincoln clinging onto life. Lincoln survives, but he lost his family, friends and was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. And now he’s got the scar to prove it.

This ignites his revenge quest to wipe out the Marcano Crime family, and all the damage they’ve done to him, his community (Delray Hollow) and eventually the mess he’s made for his soon-to-be under bosses. And while he’s doing that he’s sworn to build up a crime family of his own and needs people he can fully trust.

When he’s recovering from the gunshot wound to the head, he tells Father James to call his old friend and contact from Vietnam, Donovan, who is currently working for the C.I.A. He drops everything and shows up willing to help Lincoln with his goal (btw their friendship is so great, it’s so sad Lincoln lost everyone but he’s got Donovan still and the writers did so great with their chemistry *chefs kiss*). While Lincoln’s recovering, Giorgi lets the Dixie Mafia move into Delray Hollow and turn it inside out. Donovan tracks down possible allies for Lincoln to get in touch with by the time he’s recovered.

The Under bosses:

Delray Hollow: Ran by Cassandra and her Haitian mob. (She’s also called the “Voodoo Queen” btw and she runs a Voodoo shop) You meet Cassandra  first and it’s a shaky start, Sammy’s Black Mob has been fighting with the Haitians beforehand so she has many reasons to not trust Lincoln, but since then now the Dixie Mafia took over, thanks to the Marcanos and is greatly harming the community with human trafficking and she wants them wiped out and she can’t do it alone. Cassandra has some painful history with the Dixie Mafia and she wants nothing more than to see them all dead.

River Row: Ran by Vito Scaletta and his Italian mob (that's loyal to him at least). After everything that happened in 2nd game, Vito found his way down here and had to work with Sal Marcano as one of his lieutenants, Vito’s miserable and Sal hates him but can;t do anything about it cause Leo Galante put him there. Sal did put Grecco, his nephew, into River Row to mess things up from the inside and make it look like Vito’s fault so Sal can finally have an excuse to put a hit out on him to not anger the Commission. Being screwed over and wanting to get back, Vito agrees to help Lincoln because this is personal for him too.

Point Verdun: Ran by Thomas Burke and his Irish mob. He did have a deal worked out with Marcanos prior, but at some point there was a failed shipment of Burke’s end and that made Sal insert someone else to take over his rackets, Barbieri, who brutally took over a crippled Burke’s leg. And after Danny, his son’s murder, Burke’s been spiraling into alcoholism and constant grief. He wants nothing more than to make Barbieri suffer for what he did to him and for the Marcanos to burn for murdering his son. Which makes him eventually side with Lincoln.

Thoughts and extra on the bosses: They all got folks that work under them as their own lieutenants, Cassandra has Emmanuel Lazare, Vito has Alma Diaz and Burke has his own daughter, Nicki Burke.  Unlike the other 2, Lincoln is actually friends with Nicki and they all used to hang out together. She’s mourning the loss of her younger brother and it’s clear there’s some tension between her and her father.

Nicki’s actually a lesbian and comes out to Lincoln, she even has a girlfriend. Burke already kind of knows somehow and does not approve of it, but they still have to work together, so it causes inner personal problems. ALSO SIDENOTE: It was kind of refreshing seeing gay characters in a crime based video game, Nicki is a lesbian, Lincoln is a supportive ally (may or may not be bi/pan himself cause of his response to Nicki after she asks him about his thoughts...) and in one of the DLC’s, there's a side character named Oscar who’s a gay Vietnam vet and Lincoln gives him a job at the renovated Sammy’s bar.

While they may be side characters, I still appreciated it, and because of that dialogue between him and Nicki, it does strongly suggest he might be bisexual, so I’m def taking it and running with it. You can play a bi protag at least and I love my bisexual headcanons.

The Main Antagonists:

Sal Marcano: Sal is the Don of The Marcano Crime family. He does have a pretty interesting history and how he got to where he is now. I won’t deny that, but he’s a master of fucking over people he works with just because they were deemed useless. He did it to Sammy, once Sammy was having problems with the Haitians and short on his kickback, that was his death sentence along with his sons. He was doing it to Burke, who had a shipment go missing and that was a sign he needed an immediate replacement. Working on Vito, who just hated him and was willing to mess up his whole rackets just so he can be allowed to put a hit on him. And let’s not forget his racism at all, he knowingly works with the Southern Union and the Dixie Mafia that do lynchings/hate crimes and specifically target the black folk in New Bordeaux. He keeps using slurs when talking about Lincoln. So...yeah. This dude sucks lol.

Giorgi Marcano: Sal’s only son and the Under boss of the Marcano Crime Family, unlike his dad, he was given his life on a silver platter and is a typical spoiled rich kid with a gun who thinks he owns everyone. Hey may have been Lincoln’s “friend” at one point, but either he was playing a long game or that friendship was truly one sided if he could be fine with shooting him in the head when the time came. (I’m looking at everyone sideways who stan him btw). He worked with Ritchie Doucet, the leader of the Dixie Mafia and let them take over Delray Hollow to abuse and traffic folks in the community there after he thought Lincoln was dead. Racist little spoiled brat with access to weapons and a Daddy’s boy. I hate this rat. In his dying breath, he could have tried to make peace with Lincoln and apologize or something, but it was clear he never saw Lincoln like that at all.

YES I AM LOOKING AT PEOPLE SIDEWAYS IF I SEE PEOPLE STAN GIORGI, SHIP HIM WITH LINCOLN OR TRY TO SOFTEN HIM UP IN ANYWAY. I’VE HAD IT, YOU’RE ALL ON A LIST NOW!...anyways. There’s a whole lot of Capos and Lieutenants that work under them but I’m not really gonna get into em all.

There’s other characters and the DLC’s now I can get to instead.

Father James Ballard: Ran the orphanage before it got shut down and has known Lincoln since he was a child. Kind of an Uncle figure. WW2 Vet and kept close to the Robinson’s. Now....why I understand why he doesn't want Lincoln to go down the path he does go down....cause seeing a loved one do that kind of stuff is painful... I also...REAALLLY...don’t like him.  A whole family got wiped out, Lincoln lost so much and is scarred from it, the people that did the killings are also ruining the Hollow and making it worse. If Lincoln did just, after healing, decide to listen to Father James and not do anything, things would have been WORSE. The Marcanos would have full control, the Dixie Mafia would have free reign, The Southern Union would have gotten stronger. AND IT’S DOUBLY INFURIATING IN ONE THE DLC’S: THE SIGN OF THE TIMES! Lincoln’s adopted family was killed, Father James knew them, sure they were a mob but they were still individual people who loved and cared for each other. And yet he wants Lincoln to let go of his revenge and just leave. BUT THEN THERE’S THIS CREEPY ASS WHITE SUPREMACIST CULT THAT FUCKS UP A WHITE GIRL WHO’S A COMPLETE STRANGER AND THE JAMES IS LIKE “Okay Lincoln, take them out.” AND IT’S JUST SO-...no diss to the white girl though, Anna, she was a victim and it’s tragic what happens in her story, but idk man. James bothers me.

John Donovan: I already talked about him a little bit, but him and Lincoln met in Vietnam where Lincoln was assigned to work with him on an ops mission for the C.I.A. Lincoln learned a lot, including psychological warfare which he uses against the Marcanos later. They eventually got really close, to the point that John dropped everything and ruined his C.I.A career to work with Lincoln in building his own crime empire. He’s a fun character, he’s very chaotic, and him and Lincoln bounce off each other really well, no wild card/straight man dynamic, they’re both wild cards in their own right. I think the game is trying to frame Father James and Donovan as the Angel and Devil on Lincoln’s shoulders and, like, sure, okay, Father James is like “Don’t do it!” while Donovan is like “LETS FUCKIN GOOO!” and neither character really likes each other. James is priest and John is an atheist so the usual clash there too. I’ve made my thoughts clear on James. Donovan though is just willing to do the most for Lincoln and in a DLC he asks him for his help with his own problems that’s started before they even met. And Lincoln gladly helps him. It’s a real “I’m here for you and I hope when the time comes you’re here for me” kinda friendship. Anyways, despite leaving the C.I.A and becomes involved in criminal organizations, John is dead-set to find out who really organized the JFK assassination and finds that Sal Marcano has ties to politicians and others in the country to he goes off on his own manhunt. It’s a fun time. Good time. Don’t watch live political hearings on TV at the time though cause you might see someone get blasted.

The DLC’s

Sign of the Times: A creepy cult called the “Ensanglante” infests the burned remains of Sammy’s bar and Lincoln and Father James discover this on their way to pay the old place a visit. A young girl runs out terrified and men chase after her. After James takes the girl to a safe place and Lincoln investigates what they were doing in the bar. The learn the girl is named Anna McGee and the cult was doing a ritual in the bar because of the past human suffering in there, the murder of Lincoln’s family. The Ensanglante preforms rituals in places where people have suffered, like old slave market areas, a middle school that burned down, a plantation house etc. It’s run by a woman named Bonnie Harless who indoctrinated Anna into the cult through manipulation and promising she’ll be loved. It just left Anna abused and out of her own mind and miserable. This side story isn't really crime orientated, but it’s taking down a creepy racist cult and it gets really trippy sometimes. In my Father James bit I said a little about this already. Bonnie is a creepy bitch and off her rocker, Anna’s story is so tragic what happens to her. The cult does get wiped out and after that Lincoln meets with his aunt Lily and they restore Sammy’s bar into a functioning club again and as a memorial to Sammy and Ellis. 

Faster, Baby!: You go to Sinclair Parish, a sun-down town outside of New Bordeaux that’s run by a corrupt Sheriff “Slim” Beaumont, who wants to keep the town white, even if that means making people who oppose him disappear. There’s civil rights activists who are ran by another of one of Lincoln’s allies in the main game, “The Voice” (Charles Laveau). One of their members who was carrying the evidence that they compiled against was murdered by the sheriff and they need to get it. The Voice’s daughter, Roxy joins and works alongside Lincoln to take down this entire corrupt police force with the help of her friend, M.J, another Vietnam vet who just wants to see his hometown become better. A pretty fun DLC, a lot of car chaos and destruction, brings ACAB to a whole new level. Lincoln and Roxy kinda got a thing going on (I think Lincoln likes girls who bully him lol), and it is pretty cute, especially near the end of the story, Lincoln hears something he really needed to hear to give him comfort and it’s pretty sweet (WELL IT WOULD BE SWEET IF ROXY DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY LEAVE BACK FOR GEORGIA RIGHT AFTER SHE GOT SOME DICK FROM HIM 😭). Not crime focused either, but a lot of fun and with M.J you can actually grow weed and make new strands to actually sell to the districts you take over in the main game. Roxy’s cool, even if it does kinda hurt if I think too much that she just said all the right things to get into Lincoln’s pants but....I’m not gonna judge her either cause he really...👀💦. She’s got a really cool car you get when you beat the story. M.J is cool, Vietnam vet, turned pot smoking/growing, racism fighting hippie. You also get a hippie van from him later when level up the grow operations, and I love me some hippie vans.

Stones Unturned: Donovan calls onto Lincoln for his help once someone from his past starts showing up in New Bordeaux and stirs up some shit. You meet one of Donovan’s old allies, a former C.I.A agent now turned bounty hunter Robert Marshall and he joins in the hunt down for Conner Aldridge. You learn more about John and Connor’s history, they used to work together and be friends but Connor turned his back on America and started feeding intel to the NVA. Eventually John found out and they had a violent falling out. Aldridge’s face got scarred and Donovan’s hand got really messed up. Aldridge’s main goal is to sell information on the U.S to all their enemies, from Vietnam to Cuba. There’s a lot of heavy weapons in this DLC and military grade vehicles. You even leave New Bordeaux to somewhere in Cuba to infiltrate a bunker to get the warhead and hunt down Aldridge. Very much more of a war/action plot than a crime plot, even though I guess John’s brand of shady is better than Connor’s brand of shady (??), still very fun to see more interactions with Lincoln and Donovan. Lincoln even forces him to open up more, that’s how we learn more about Aldridge (I still think he’s hiding more from Lincoln cause that anger felt more visceral...hmm). You first reach Cuba and it’s BEAAUUTTIFULLL, the water is so blue omg it’s so pretty. Robert Marshall is a weird guy, I see why him and John are friends. He’s a little unhinged but over all he’s friendly??in his own weird little way. You actually get bounty hunting missions from, only 3 though, once you’re back in town, and he offers this pretty handy sniping service. Connor as a villain is something alright, not saying he’s a bad character but I do wish there was more information you could have uncovered with Donovan. And he’s pretty nihilistic about the war and America and stuff and as someone who personally is pessimistic about how America is now...uhh...can’t say I blame him. Though selling weapons to people who wanna blast us to the Fallout Universe, that’s not cool. Nooo nope no sir, don’t like that. Anyways, the DLC is a good time. Less of a heavy story than the other 2 which is good cause I don’t wanna feel totally miserable lol

The order in which the DLC’s came out isn't an indicator of a timeline either, there’s no real set timeline in the game. Just the main plot begins during Mardi Gras in 1968, Lincoln needs his time to recover, and the only other indicator is on Anna’s gravestone so I’m assuming at least Sign of the Times is the first one and takes place when Lincoln’s trying to get his under bosses together. That’s a me thing tho, I’m a stickler for timelines and stuff like that.

BUT ANYWAYS I TYPED A LOT SO MUCH OMG I JUST WANTED TO GIVE MY THOUGHTS ON THE GAME AND THE BASIC RUN DOWN OF THE STORY AND CHARACTERS LOL

MAYBE I’LL SHARE MORE HEADCANONS LATER AND SHIZZ CAUSE IT’S SUCH A HYPERFIXATION RIGHT NOW AND EVEN ON MY ART BLOG I MADE SOME FANART K BYE

[griffnoir]

i had this idea for a fic that i just wanted to share bc i thought it was neat and i know i will never write it under the cut : regulus black and severus snape, young and not that desperate, team up to defeat voldemort (for better and for worse)

- we are in 79. regulus goes to retrieve the locket, happy to die a sad and heroic death BUT kreacher brings him back to grimmauld place against his orders. he is dying... because of a potion... kreacher knows someone who knows shit about potions... regulus lives au! severus gets kidnapped by a nasty house-elf :/ he def had better sundays but that’s fine: he helps his fellow death-eater bc it’s what one does (everything for the cause!)

- regulus heals. regulus isn’t so happy about it (one cannot even kill oneself in this economy) then the conversation goes: reg : hey do u wanna know something that will get u killed? sev : no. reg : so the dark lord has made this thing called an horcrux... :D sev : T.T fuck why would u say that to me

- severus had doubts(tm) about this death-eater thing. this is the tipping point. so they are here, 18 and 19, one braincell between them, deciding after multiple identity crisis that they will kill the dark lord or die trying (they have better faith in the dying part but that’s ok they have nothing to lose) - they both know too much so this is a sort of race against time reg : i guess we could go to dumbledore sev : lol we are not THAT desperate

- they don’t go to dumbledore ://

- it is very important to me that they can’t fucking stand each other on the best of days. like: severus is severus, the little rat(affectionate) but i always thought of regulus as a mix between sirius and draco, plus whatever u want (this is not a good mix). the guy is pampered, rich, posh and a bloody nuisance of a person (also a dedicated blood supremacist); severus isn’t a Black so for once in his life he is actually the well-adjusted one - this doesn’t augure well for their enterprise

- do they succeed? yes. how? dumb luck. also they have a “they didn’t know it was impossible so they did it” type of thing going on. regulus’ superpower is the fact that he is rich, has connections and that nobody suspects him of anything. severus’ one is pure spite and the hogging of the braincell; they both think they are the brain behind this operation and that they are superior to the other in the ways that count (actually they are both just clowns)

- one of the only thing they share is the ultimate goal of killing voldemort; also, they both have somebody on the other side they don’t want ending up dead, so there is that; moreover they are both stressed out of their minds (the self-medication is strong and it could become a problem)

- they have to juggle their public life, their death-eater life and their hunting horcruxes life. it gets complicated :(

- grey-ish moral decisions are made, but hey! one has to do what one has to do

- how do they find the horcruxes? perhaps with the help of dark magic? through inside knowledge? a bit of both? regulus could know where is the diary/ the cup; if u know what u are looking for, nagini is an obvious answer; the ring can be found with minimal research on tom riddle; the diadem can be a lucky find (one could call it an educated guess lol)

- regulus learns that he can actually stand up for himself without his family weighing in and that his whole worldview is in fact a giant with feet of clay. severus that he can lead his life without idly surfing on the consequences of his bad decisions and can change things for the better by acting on them. that’s great. they are doing great. they are fucking terrified for their lifes.

- they end up begrudgingly respecting each other. are they friends? loaded question. perhaps.

- in this au, severus does also report the prophecy to the dark lord, then panics when the potters are brought up. sev and reg pass the information to the order one way or another and this just speeds up their research

- they kill nagini on the sly: it’s a shitshow of epic proportion, but they get away with it bc uh... who would think them able of such a feat? it’s def an highly-trained task force or something. sad that the snake got in the way though :/ (there is no more horcrux, the dark lord is mortal once more)

- who kills voldemort? neither of them. it would be cool, but no. the obvious choice would rather be dumbledore, and why not, in an impressive duel for the ages. personally i would prefer someone from the order, why not one of the youngsters: sirius? remus (a fucking win for the werewolves if it’s the case)? if we are only in 80, why not a peter who has not yet turned traitor lmao? if it’s one of them it’s just totally anti-climatic

- hell yeah! voldemort is trully, trully dead! the one who killed him is hailed as an hero and everybody lived happily ever after! severus and regulus will never have to speak to each other again!

- no.

- the hunt for the death-eaters begins: names are being dropped left and right. regulus doesn’t even go to trial bc he throws money at his problems; severus is not so lucky and gets rounded up in the most stupid way possible, also he thinks he deserves azkaban bc he did some shady shit and likes the martyr vibes reg, who has outgrown his suicidal tendencies: shit i need to save this punk’s ass since he won’t do it himself

- are regulus and his money enough to exonerate severus? perhaps. living with the morale high ground of having brought down the dark lord could be enough to rebuild a decent life for themselves; would they have closure? in a bittersweet way they could

- if it’s not enough, regulus being THAT desperate, he would go to the biggest bully of the playground aka dumbledore. a dumbledore ready to believe that voldemort would be coming back, until this scrawny (almost) 20 years-old goes “nah, we took care of that for you, you are welcome! also, since the whole wizarding world has a debt for us or something, could u pls bail my colleague? friend? out that would be great” albus : ... what?

- i just want a fun reveal; in the future to have regulus talking to his brother, severus to lily (at least for one good talk, i don’t ask for much), just to have that closure pls :’(

- 10 years later or something rita skeeter digs up the whole convulated story it’s glorious. nobody wants that

i don’t have anything else but it was fun to think about

[drabbles-mc]

You Came Back (1/3)

Juice Ortiz x Reader

Request from @ateliefloresdaprimavera​: Juice has a special place in my heart, so I'm denying his ending on the show😭 I want to foccus on the nurturing,fluffy and romantic side that he deserves😍 maybe something about Opie and Jax childhood friend who comes back to charming( Gemma always thought of her as her own kid) and she's really closed of emotionaly, bit our boy is smitten from the second he has his eyes on her. so romantic Juice overdrive, and she starts to see this side of life that's worth, by his side

Warnings: language

Word Count: 2.8k

Chapter Index: Part 2 , Part 3

A/N: Okay so I maaaay have gotten a little carried away with this request (hence it being three parts lmao) but I just felt like to do it right I had to make it longer than a one-shot. Hope you don’t mind! My love for Juice knows no bounds so it’s easy for me to get a little over zealous lol

You rolled into the lot at T-M, turning the radio down as you did. Everything looked pretty much exactly the same as when you left all those years back. You wondered if any of the guys ever actually got out of Charming, or if they all fell into the routine and stayed. You shook your head at yourself, knowing that you weren’t really any different—all those years you spent out of Charming and somehow you ended up right back in it. Maybe you just weren’t meant to stay away.

You parked and took a deep breath, trying to give yourself the will to step out of the vehicle. You looked around the lot, seeing all the bikes lined up together made your heart speed up. You glanced over to the shop itself, not seeing any familiar faces at first. You sighed, finally making yourself cut the ignition and get out of the car.

The walk to the office felt like it was a mile long. The door was ajar, but you still knocked before entering. You heard an unmistakable voice on the other side, “Come in.”

You stepped inside, waiting for Gemma to look up from the papers in front of her. Her eyes flicked up, expecting to see someone else, anyone else, but there you were. It took a second for it all to register, but as soon as it did a smile broke out across her face. She stood up and walked around the desk, wrapping you in a hug.

“Well, well,” she laughed, stepping back so she could get a good look at you, “Didn’t expect to see you rolling in here any time soon.”

You laughed, shaking your head slightly, “Yea, me neither I guess.”

“What brings you here, sweetheart?” she could see the stress on your face.

You sighed, “Don’t really know. I had to go somewhere, and I ended up here.”

She smiled, nodding, “All my kids always make it back home,” she saw you open your mouth to argue and held her hand up to stop you, “Blood isn’t what makes someone my kid. If I ever fed you in my house, you’re my kid.”

You smiled and nodded, glad to be surrounded by the familiarity of it all. You thought that it would’ve changed over the years but you supposed that you should’ve known better. Charming, and all the people in it, seemed untouched by time. You had no idea if you were going to be able to blend back into it after being away for so long.

“That mean that Jax is around here somewhere too?”

Gemma smiled and nodded, “Clubhouse. I’m sure they’ll be excited to see you. C’mon, I’ll walk with you.”

The two of you walked side-by-side in silence. You knew that Gemma had questions, but you knew that she would wait until the excitement died down to pull you aside to ask you them. Today was just about finding everyone else again. Down the road you’d get around to finding yourself again, too.

Gemma swung open the door to the clubhouse, “Look who I found, wandering around the lot.”

Jax and Opie were both seated at the bar, smiles breaking out across their faces the second they saw you. They both stood up and came over to greet you, and you reveled in the warmth of their hugs.

“Holy shit,” Jax chuckled and shook his head, “Never thought I’d be seeing you again.”

“That seems to be the trend,” you said with a nervous smile.

Opie draped his arm around your shoulder, completely enveloping you as he pulled you against his chest again, “Welcome home.”

You laughed into his kutte, “What a welcome it is.”

You recognized some of the other faces in the clubhouse. Truthfully you weren’t ever overly close with the guys in the club. You were all nice to each other, but growing up with Jax and Opie you made a conscious decision to stay just far enough out of club drama and business to keep yourself safe. They were your best friends and you loved them, but you made a point to not know too much. Plausible deniability was key.

“Come, sit,” Jax flashed a smile, “have a beer.”

“You sure?”

He chuckled, “Yea. We ain’t got shit to do.”

Opie smiled at you, “Besides, how long has it been? Seven years? Eight?”

“Nine,” you said as you pulled away.

“Jesus Christ,” Jax said with a shake of his head, “Where does the time go?”

The three of you were sat at the bar, catching up on the broad strokes of what your lives had been like since the last time you were all in a room together. You always said that you were going to keep in touch with them when you left, but it never happened. You could blame it on a lot of different things, but deep down you knew that if you kept in touch you wouldn’t have stayed away. Charming was like a magnet and there was no denying its pull if you ever got too close.

“I do see some new faces though, right?” you laugh, “Some of these guys definitely weren’t here before.”

Jax chuckled, nodding, “You’re right. Got some new brothers hanging around. This is Half-Sack,” he nodded towards the young man who was behind the bar, trying and failing at not being obvious about staring at you, “He’s our latest Prospect.”

“N-nice to meet you, Y/N,” he nodded quickly as he went back to whatever he had been doing behind the bar beforehand.

You smiled and shook your head as you took another look around the clubhouse, “Who else is new?” you paused, chuckling to yourself, “Who else is new and actually matters?”

Opie chimed in, nodding to the far side of the clubhouse, “Only other new kid in the club is Juice.”

“Not hiring very many people these days, huh?” you chuckled, nudging Opie’s shoulder, “They stop bringing in new talent after you patched in?”

“Who else would they need?” his smile made your heart melt.

“Ope, Jax,” Clay came bursting into the clubhouse, “Church, now.”

“We’ll pick this up later,” Jax kissed you on the cheek, “It’s good to have you home.”

Opie pulled you into a half-assed headlock, kissing the top of your head before trailing behind Jax and following him into the chapel of the clubhouse. You watched in silent awe as the other men filtered into the room, shutting the doors behind them.

You turned and looked at the prospect, “You’re gonna miss roll call.”

He smiled, shaking his head, “I don’t go in there unless explicitly instructed.”

“What’s your name?” you sipped on your beer while you waited for his response.

“It’s Kipp,” he only met your eyes for a second.

“Mind if I call you that instead of Half-Sack?” you chuckled.

His cheeks flushed slightly, “You can call me whatever you want.”

You laughed and shook your head but didn’t make any other comment about it. He seemed sweet, and you thought to yourself that maybe you didn’t give the other guys in the club enough of a chance. Maybe you kept a little too much distance from everyone. Maybe if you hadn’t you wouldn’t have had to leave to end up right back where you started, you just would’ve stayed.

When the chapel doors opened up again, the men started trickling out one by one. You didn’t see Jax, Opie, or Clay come back out right away though. You didn’t have much of anywhere else to be, so you stayed put to wait. The prospect brought you another beer when he saw that you weren’t going anywhere.

You were looking down at your phone when someone popped up and sat down on the stool next to yours. It took you a moment to look up and see who it was. You were greeted with a warm smile as the man next to you gave you a once-over.

“I’m Juice,” he nodded with a grin.

You smiled, holding out your hand, “Y/N.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before.”

You laughed, shaking your head, “You haven’t. I’m an…old friend of Jax and Opie. I haven’t been around in a while. Just got back to Charming.”

“Welcome back.”

You smiled, “Thanks. You’re new, too, yea? You weren’t here when I left.”

He chuckled, “New seems like a strong word.”

The two of you sat and made small talk for a few minutes. There was a warmth that radiated from his smile that made you feel like you’d known him your whole life. You wondered if maybe the club was turning over a new leaf. The newest members seemed like they were cut from a different cloth and it was reassuring to you.

Jax appeared behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders, “This guy givin’ you a problem, Y/N?” you could hear the smile in his voice.

You shook your head, “Not at all. Just helping me kill time until you two jokers got out of your little meeting with Clay.”

“How long you in town for?” Jax asked.

You shrugged, “Until further notice?” you tried to play it off with a smile, not wanting to talk about how you had ended up back in Charming, “Why? That desperate to get rid of me already?”

He hugged you back against his chest, almost pulling you off the stool, “Nah, never. Where you staying?”

You sighed, leaning your head back against him, “Haven’t figured that part out yet.”

“You can stay with me until you figure it out,” he offered up, “Beats paying for a motel.”

“You sure?”

He nodded, “Of course. Not giving you any more reasons to skip town on us again,” he held his hand out to help you off the stool, “C’mon, you can follow me and we can get you settled in.”

You let him help you, relieved that you had a place to stay, and that it was with someone that you trusted, “Thank you, Jax. I owe you one,” you turned back to Juice, “Nice meeting you.”

“Yea,” there was a small smirk on his face, “you too,” he watched you and Jax walk out of the clubhouse, laughing together as the door shut behind you. He turned to Opie, “Who is she?”

He shook his head with a knowing smile, clapping Juice on the back, “She’s out of your league, brother.”

Juice laughed at the remark, but wasn’t able to take his eyes away from the door that you had just walked out of. He might not have known you yet, but he was hoping that that wouldn’t be the case for long. You felt like a breath of fresh air. He drummed his fingertips on the surface of the bar, the wheels in his mind beginning to turn.

It took a few days to get comfortable staying in Jax’s house. He was more than accommodating, but you were still struggling with being back in Charming. Any time he tried to pry a little more into what your life had been like once you left, and what it was that made you decide to come back, you clammed up. You weren’t good enough at lying to try, especially not with someone who knew you as well as Jax did. He eventually backed off when he realized that he was just going to have to wait for you to be comfortable talking about it in your own time. But you still felt like there were a few degrees of separation between the two of you.

“Plans today?” he asked as he sat across from you at the table, taking a sip of his coffee.

You sighed and shook your head, “Not really. Still waiting to hear back from a couple of the places I sent applications out to.”

“If you need something in the meantime, I’m sure we could find a spot for you at T-M.”

You shook your head, not wanting to accept charity, or pity, “No, you don’t have to do that. You guys have a full house there as it is.”

He smiled, “Nah, my mom could always use the help. She says it all the time.”

You chuckled, “Needing you guys to do your jobs and needing extra help aren’t the same thing.”

He laughed, “See? You two’ll work well together. Why don’t you come with me today and you can talk to her?”

“And say what? Just walk in and say, I’m poor, please give me a job?”

“Isn’t that what all job interviews are like?”

You laughed, not able to disagree, “I mean, I guess, yea,” you sighed, “Alright, fine. But I’m not talking to her alone.”

“You don’t need backup, Y/N.”

“Listen, I know your mom likes me, but she’s still one of the scariest fucking people I’ve ever met. So, you’re talking to her with me.”

He caved, the way you knew that he would. You followed him to the shop in your car, him on his bike. You laughed at the way he would speed ahead of you and force you to play catch-up. It felt like you were teenagers again and for a few minutes your heart felt lighter.

When the two of you rolled into the lot, things seemed quiet. The guys were working in the shop, and you looked around trying to picture potentially being here all day every day. You had no idea what that would be like, what you would even really do.

“Hey, baby,” Gemma walked up and hugged Jax, kissing him on the cheek.

“Hey, Mom,” he turned to you, “Y/N had something that she wanted to talk to you about.”

You pressed your lips together into a thin line—you should’ve known that he was going to hang you out to dry on this. He gave you a pat on the back and took off towards the clubhouse, leaving you and Gemma there outside the office together.

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” she looked at you expectantly.

You sighed, hating that you were about to ask her about this, “Um, so…I’ve just been struggling to pick up a job on short-notice. Jax mentioned that maybe there would be a spot for me here? Just something short-term. I’m not trying to take advantage or anything—if there’s nothing you really need me for here that’s totally fine.”

She smiled, “There’s always something to be done around here,” she gently placed her hand on your arm, “We take care of our own. When can you start?”

You smiled with a shrug, “Now?”

Gemma chuckled, “Perfect. Juice needs an extra pair of hands on a repo run. You okay with that?”

You nodded, “Yea, sure. Will he tell me what I have to do? Because I have no idea,” you laughed.

She smiled with a slight nod, “You’ll be fine,” she waved Juice over, “Juice, c’mere!”

He jogged over, a smile plastered on his face as he looked at you, “What’s up?”

Gemma gestured towards you, “Y/N is working for us for a while. She’s going on the repo run with you today, that alright?”

He nodded immediately, “Yea, of course,” he looked at you with bright eyes, “Good to see you again.”

You smiled, nodding, “You too.”

You could practically feel him vibrating with excitement in the driver’s seat beside you as he drove. You tried to hide the smile that was fighting its way onto your face. You asked him what he even needed you to do when the two of you worked together. He outlined it all to you and it seemed fairly simple. You had to imagine that it wasn’t the most fun part of the job, but it was still something to keep the both of you busy for a little while.

On top of the repo, Gemma had called and asked the two of you to stop and pick up a few parts that she had ordered for the shop. You waited outside with the truck while Juice went inside to pick them up. He walked back out carrying two large boxes stacked on top of each other.

“Can you get the door?” he asked, voice slightly strained.

You chuckled, “I kinda wanted to see you try to pull it off by yourself.”

The two of you were halfway into your drive back to T-M when Juice spoke up, “Can I ask you something?”

You looked over at him, “Shoot.”

“Are you and Jax…you know…”

You laughed, “Dating?”

He shrugged, “Yea.”

You shook your head, unable to stop laughing, “No, no we are not. We’re just good friends. I love him but, yea, no,” you searched his face for a reaction, “Why?”

He tried to play it off, “No reason, just curious. You guys just seem close, is all.”

“Mhm,” you chuckled and went back to looking out the window, “If you say so.”

[joonsrack]

Masterpiece | KTH x KNJ

+PAIRING: Kim Taehyung x Kim Namjoon

+GENRE: Oneshot, crack, angst, smidge of smut, College AU, stranger to lover

+WORD COUNT: ~13k

+RATING: 18+

+WARNING: Taehyung has face blindness, NSFW, (very) foul language, overuse of the word penis and it’s synonyms, pinning, misunderstandings, Namjoon is like real’ dumb, a little hanky panky but nothing scandalous.

+SUMMARY: 

“So let me recap here, you don’t know his name, his major, his department, his age, his number, nor his face. The only clue you have is this drawing, which basically looks like a textbook example of unrealistic body expectations. You apparently know every nook and cranny of his [REDACTED], but you didn’t have the decency to ask his name? You deserve this.” He cackles, angering Taehyung.

(OR the one where Taehyung has face blindness but that won't stop him from finding love. )

+A/N: Well, it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted anything, and almost as much time since i last wrote anything (except for the occasional guilt writing lmao). So this is me coming back with a vengeance (and the dumbest thing i’ve ever written). This is all thanks to (or to be blamed on) @minloop who put up with my non-stop messaging, gave me some plot ideas, and actually inspired me to finish this in three days. Thank you to my baby @emojihobi​ for the emotional support and the beta reading 💖

+Disclaimer: I got all my info on face blindness from google searches, so please forgive any inaccuracy.

Face blindness has definitely made Taehyung’s life difficult. 

There’s the obvious problem of not being able to recognize your parents. Remember this childhood trauma of holding a random stranger’s hands in the mall, thinking it’s your mother or father? Taehyung had to live through that many, many times; except he wouldn’t realize until said stranger would shake his hand off, or until his parents would swoop in to get him. The fact that he’s never been kidnapped is down to pure luck, really.

Making friends, you guessed it, has also been a challenge. It’s difficult explaining to kids why you ignored them when you saw each other in the hallway. Kids don’t always understand “I didn’t recognize you” as an explanation, especially if you’ve been in the same class since pre-k.

But this? This is a new and unforeseen crisis.

+

 His dorm room is very quiet, which is not unusual since he has a solo room. But he’s pretty sure he went to sleep with a plus one, and said plus one is nowhere to be seen. 

Now, he isn’t a stranger to one-night stands sneaking out after he falls asleep. He likes to take night conquests to his dorm room for this exact reason; He can go right to sleep, while they take themselves out. Easy breezy no string attached-y. That’s usually the way he wants it to be. 

But this time is different. Last night was different. Last night, Taehyung had the best night of his life, hands down. Best bangs of his existence. Bangs plural because they went more than once. How that’s even possible when his teenage years are long gone and days with multiple orgasms are less and less common, he has no idea.

He’s probably ruined for anyone else. Nothing could ever compare to the night he just spent getting his back blown out. 

Now, Taehyung is a sculptor. A very gifted one at that (if his teachers’ praises are anything to go by). Taehyung knows body proportions, knows perfect rations, all that stuff. He knows it on marble bodies, in sketches, in painting. Not on actual human beings.

Until last night.

Last night, he witnessed the body of a god. He scratched at perfect skin, held on to beautifully defined and strong arms, rode perfect thighs. Last night, he shed a tear at the view of some perfect knees. Last night, he realized that art truly imitates nature. 

And that’s not all.

Taehyung can admit he owns a nice dick; it’s decently shaped, the color is nice, and the size is slightly over average. 

But what he witnessed the night before?

The Narcissus of dicks; the most beautiful dick on the planet. The most beautiful dick in history . Probably even prettier than Narcissus’ face himself. (But Taehyung doesn’t know what Narcissus' face looks like, so he’s only assuming.) 

From the perfect red color of its beautifully shaped head to the gracefully intertwined veins leading to a sturdy looking hilt, peppered with well-kept pubic hair, ending in an exquisitely wrinkled ballsack. The girth was over average; big enough to make size queens (such as Taehyung) salivate, but not big enough to scare away enthusiasts. And the length? The dude is lucky he’s a grower and not a show-er, or he would never know peace. Mainly because the likes of Taehyung or Park Jimin would never let him be.

But where is that most perfect penis right now? 

Attached to its perfectly shaped and mysterious owner, probably miles away.

Very problematic, indeed.

+

“So what you’re saying is, you fell asleep, and when you woke up he was gone? Isn’t that how it’s usually supposed to go?” Yoongi sounds disgruntled on the other end of the face call, face half mushed in his pillow, hair disheveled and eyes squinty. It’s not yet 1 pm after all, which is still considered morning for people like Min Yoongi.

“Noooo, not this time.” Taehyung whines,” This time he was supposed to stick around and ask me to marry him in the morning. Isn’t that obvious? We went at it four times for fuck sake, doesn’t that mean anything anymore?”

Jimin chokes on his matcha oatmeal milk latte, eyes going wide. “Four times?! Now that is a monster stamina. He basically squeezed your balls dry.” There’s a pause, then he says to someone off-camera, “It’s rude to stare, ma’am.”

“Stop ruining my morning with your screaming,” Yoongi grunts out, rubbing his eyes. “So what do you want us to do about this?”

Taehyung fumbles around his desk for a moment, looking through his piles of sketches until he finds it, his only clue.

“Do you two know this man?” He asks, pulling out a sketch he did quickly off his memory of the mystery man’s body. He pulls out a second one, this one is a close-up of his perfect penis. He might have gone off tangent with the shading, but he couldn't stop himself, that dick deserves all the shading.

“Jesus fuck.” Yoongi signs.

“Baby, I’m sure you’re aware that if I knew anyone with a body and a dick like that, you would never have been able to put your dirty paws on him.”

Taehyung turns hopeful eyes to Yoongi after glaring at Jimin for a good 10 seconds, but Yoongi only shakes his head no.

“I don’t have a habit of making my friends strip around me, sadly. I wouldn’t be able to tell even if I knew him.”

“You two are useless” Taehyung signs, his body deflating. Yoongi takes offense and hangs up. Or maybe he was going to hang up either way.

“So let me recap here, you don’t know his name, his major, his department, his age, his number, nor his face. The only clue you have is this drawing, which basically looks like a textbook example of unrealistic body expectations. You apparently know every nook and cranny of his penis, but you didn’t have the decency to ask his name? You deserve this.” He cackles, angering Taehyung. 

“I was busy sucking his dick, asshole.” He spits, but Jimin only snorts in answer.

“Good luck finding the owner of Mystery Penis.” He quips back, before hanging up as well.

+

All hope is lost. Never in his life has he despised his face blindness as much as he does right now. Of course, it’s never been easy dealing with it throughout his life. He’s lucky he has two solid friends he can count on. Although Jimin regularly dyes and changes his hairstyle without warning to mess with him. And Yoongi basically has two hours of availability per week, usually arranged around his sleeping schedule. 

But he knows they care for him, and he cares for them. 

He drags his feet to class. He uses ‘class’ lightly; being a third-year means most of his courses are spent in the workshop, working on his graduate exhibition. 

He’s got his trusty overalls on, covered in clay stains. He’s been working with clay for the last few weeks, using the medium for two of his exhibition pieces. 

He greets his teacher at the front desk with a nod, before making his way to his desk. Today’s playlist consists of oldies, and he makes it to his desk just as Lionel Richie’s voice fills the room. 

He snorts, rolling his eyes.

Hello is a classic of sculpting classes. No matter the teacher or the Instructor, they all love to play that song on repeat, and he usually doesn’t pay it any mind. But right now, isn’t there a more perfect song to taunt him?

Lionel Richie asks if it’s him he’s looking for, as he’s pulling his tool out of his bag. He unwraps the plastic wrap from around the latest project he’s been working on, already planning his next move. 

He’s pretty sure the sculpting world is all over that song only because of the music video.

It’s obvious that the whole ‘blind girl sculpting’ thing– 

Oh.

Oh dear god. The music video. 

The music video.

Taehyung has an idea.

His hands move before he can fully realize the plan in his head, rewrapping his project, and getting some new clay from the front of the class.

His teacher looks him up and down in all his frantic and excited glory.

 “A sudden stroke of inspiration?” He questions, sounding curious.

“Something like that.” Taehyung smiles, trying to act inconspicuous. His teacher won’t let him take the clay if it’s not for his graduate exhibition.

He makes it back to his station without any more inquiry and starts to work right away.

Jimin was right, he does know every nook and cranny of that penis. He spent hours getting acquainted with it, and he has an excellent memory (Except for faces, obviously).

All the other students are too busy working on their final projects to notice the massive penis under construction a few feet from them. If anyone asks, Taehyung will proudly answer that it’s a life-sized depiction. But no one is asking, so he simply works on bringing the piece to life. The students in his class rarely talk to him, since he hasn’t gone out of his way to develop any type of relationship with them. It’s easier like that.

Once he’s done, many hours later, he’s alone in the workshop with the sun setting outside.

He ogles proudly at his masterpiece, the erect penis standing tall on his station, truly a creature of beauty. It’s a perfect replica, down to the ballsack wrinkles; down to the cute mole at the hilt. Of course, it’s clay-colored, and it probably won't change since Taehyung hates painting his creations, but he’s absolutely certain that everything else is exactly like the original.

The oven has been preheating for a while, so it’s hot and ready to bake some penis. The only thing left is to leave it to cure for a while. Any ol’ regular penis would have taken less than an hour to cure, but we’re talking about a monster cock here. 

He pops it into the oven, sets a timer, just in time for a knock at the door to pull him out of his penis-induced craze.

“Yo, Tae,” Yoongi’s voice resonates from the door frame.

Taehyung grabs a rag from his station to clean his hand with before making his way to his friend. There’s someone with him, and Yoongi signals at his friend with a lazy wave of his hand. 

“Remember Namjoon?” He asks, but it’s a rhetorical question. Jimin and Yoongi have taken to the habit of identifying the people they’re with, so Taehyung doesn't have to embarrass himself trying to figure it out on his own. That way, they don’t have to explain his condition to every single person that isn’t in his immediate friend circle. 

(Is it even a circle if it’s two people?) 

He sends a nod in Namjoon’s way and gets a wave back, and that’s as far as their exchange goes, as usual. Except today, his whole body language reads nervous and tense. But that’s none of Taehyung’s business.

“We’re going to see some juniors perform in a pub, you want to come with?” Yoongi asks him, and Taehyung knows he means well, but he also knows that Yoongi knows he doesn’t like crowded spaces. 

He and Jimin have tried to get him to go out more, but the only time Taehyung steps foot inside any type of alcohol selling establishment is when he wants to get laid. And there’s only one place he goes to then; that crappy little Bar near campus that’s only frequented by broke students who also want to get laid. 

He doesn’t like anywhere that’s dark where there’s enough people to make him lose sight of his friends. Something about losing his parents at the mall one too many times.

“That sounds nice, but I have to finish this piece I’m working on.” He answers, trying to sound as regretful as he can. It doesn’t really work, judging by Yoongi’s unconvinced humming. 

“Alright, careful when you go back home.” Yoongi finally answers, patting him on the shoulder. 

He starts walking away, but his friend, Namjoon, stays frozen on the spot, facing him. He’s looking at Taehyung in some kind of way, but face blindness makes it hard for him to read other’s expressions. He raises a single eyebrow in interrogation, and that seems to make Namjoon snap out of it. He turns on his heel without as much as a goodbye, which, rude .

“'Kay, bye.” He mutters after him.

But he can’t hold it against him. He knows that ‘Namjoon’ has been a long-time friend of Yoongi and that they’ve spent some time together by association. Taehyung doesn’t go out of his way to get to know new people, so there’s a high chance Namjoon might have tried to approach him with friendship in mind, only to end up frustrated by Taehyung’s lack of interest. Happens all the time. He can’t really help it, reading intentions is not in his toolbox.

He should probably tell Yoongi to share his ‘secret’ with Namjoon. He seems nice enough from what he heard, so he would probably be understanding. It should at least clear up the misunderstanding, and Taehyung might even gain a new friend, who knows?

He makes his way back to his station, works on his actual project while the oven takes care of making his penis nice and hard. 

+

The next morning, he wakes up to ten texts from Jimin, one from Yoongi, and multiple missed calls and voicemail from his workshop teacher.

 Asshole with pink hair:

9:40 am    ur crazy

9:40 am    CRAZY

9:40 am    This is hilarious

9:41 am    That’s why i love u

9:41 am    That is a beautiful dick

9:41 am    Like it was nice on paper, but the 3D version definitely makes me wonder about its  owner

10:26 am  All the student body is buzzing about the mystery penis

10:27 am  It’s on the front page of the school newspaper

10:27 am  omg you dumbass u didnt write your number

10:27 am  you didn't write your number anywhere brb dying of laughter

Hyungie:

11:32 am  You didnt write your infos dumb dumb

Taehyung bangs his head on his pillow, hoping for quick death. How could he forget to write down his infos? How is anyone supposed to contact him?

+

Namjoon has come to learn quickly that university isn’t always the most sanest place on the planet. Cramming, into a single building, that amount of genius with that amount of insanity is bound to create interesting events.

He’s stopped being surprised by most things, might be guilty of doing some of those surprising things from time to time. But today? Today is on a whole new level.

Somehow, his dick is plastered all over the school, in every hallway, on every door. Think Regina George distributing the burn book copy all over school but, multiplied by 50, that’s how many pictures of his dick are distributed around school right now. Not an actual picture of his actual dick, but an actual picture of an actual clay replica, with big bold yellow letters spelling out 'HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PENIS?', and nothing else.

It’s vaguely threatening.

He wishes he couldn’t tell that it’s his penis, then maybe he could laugh with the rest of the student body. But there’s no mistaking it. One look and he knew. The person who printed those flyers made sure to include all the possible angles, too. 

It’s 100% his dick. 

The slight curve is there, the mole is there, everything is there.

The intentions of the maker are unclear, but there’s one thing for sure: he knows exactly who’s behind it. He only knows one sculptor who has seen his penis, and that’s the current bane of his life, Kim Taehyung.

It’s not enough that Taehyung has been completely ignoring his existence before their night of passion together, he’s also been ignoring him after. 

And now this? Plastering his dick all over school? For absolutely no reason? Did he not like the night they spent together? Was this a great big ploy to make fun of him? Is this Taehyung’s way to reject him? To tell him to stay away from him? He knows he’s never been really subtle with his crush, but isn’t this going way too far? 

At least he had the very, very basic decency to forgo his name from the flyers, or Namjoon might have had to run away to the next town. 

Namjoon is not dumb, he knows his ancient Greece lore and what they thought about big dicks.

Taehyung didn’t write this so people would look at the dick, he’s obviously calling him a dick.  And for what, pinning on him for the last year? Can’t a man have a crush in peace?

Maybe he shouldn't have approached Taehyung that night. 

One thing is for sure, Taehyung is sending him a very clear message to stay away from him.

+

He spent a fortune printing all those hands out, and now he has to reprint them all? Taehyung knows very well he can’t afford another round of mass printing. Plus the librarian probably won’t ever let him walk into the library again. She had to come and refill the printer at least three times in the hour he was there. The environmental club was even called on scene by one of the students waiting for his turn at the printer. Talk about a snitch.

He can’t afford to reprint everything, and there’s no way he’ll go around school writing his number by hand.

He listens to the voicemails from his teacher then, uncovering a new hurdle.

The first one goes like this:

"Kim Taehyung I know it’s you, you left that thing on your desk."

Then the second:

"Kim Taehyung, you will take down these handouts right this instant before the Dean can see them, you hear me? He'll put you on probation and my head on a stick."

Taehyung muffles his groans into his pillow. Maybe it’s a good thing he forgot to include his number. He should have thought of that before.

He throws on some clothes, heeding his teacher’s warning. He better get to school quickly.

He texts Yoongi and Jimin to take down as many as they can if they want to see him live for another day. Yoongi doesn’t answer and Jimin only texts back asking if he can keep one for his room.

Some friend circle he’s got there.

He makes it onto campus in under half an hour, and gets to work, taking them down as quickly as he can.

He’s got only a few hallways left to do when someone taps him sharply on the shoulder. He spins around, dreading the moment he comes face to face with the Dean. Not that he could recognize the Dean.

“Are you the Dean?” He stammers in a small voice.

“What? No- you. I swear to god. Just tell me if you hate me that much.” Stranger says, before putting his long leg to good use, striding away from him. He throws a bunched-up flyer on the floor before disappearing down the hallway as quickly as he’s appeared.

Taehyung is stunned for a good minutes, utterly confused

The voice sounds similar, but other than that he has no idea who just spit those words at him. He doesn’t hate anyone, and he doesn't see why anyone would believe he has those kinds of ill feelings towards them.

+

Now that his plan has miserably failed, Taehyung falls into hopelessness once again. He lays in bed, holding his precious sculpture to himself. It’s the only thing he has left from his fateful encounter. Or he thought it was fate, but now he’s wondering if that was life making fun of him. 

Jimin is laying by his side, examining the sketch of the body with clear interest. It’s making Taehyung feel a little possessive. 

“Maybe you should try again in the school gym, no one gets a body like that from not going to the gym. You could say you’re looking for a model or something.”

Taehyung stares at his friend with all the admiration he can muster. 

“I would kiss you so hard right now.”

“We tried that once, remember?”

“Yes, and that’s why I won’t be doing it, but I would, just so you know.”

“Cool.” 

He snatches the sketch out of Jimin’s hands to get to work on the shading, trying to get his drawing as realistic looking as possible. Making a whole body out of clay would take too long, so Taehyung will have to settle for his sketch. 

Once he’s done, some 30 minutes have passed. He whirl around on his desk chair, waving the sketch around successfully, only to stop dead in his tracks. He finds Jimin with his precious sculpture halfway down his throat.

“Jimin!” He exclaims, fuming. “Get your dirty mouth off my penis!”

Jimin startles and chokes in surprise, but then bursts out laughing once the sculpture is safely out of his mouth.

“Sorry, sorry. I was just really curious about the size. You never cease to amaze me.”

Taehyung snatches his precious phallus back, grabbing some tissues to wipe off Jimin's drool.

“If I can’t find him, this is going up my ass, so don’t touch it.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jimin grimaces, rearranging himself on the bed. He grabs his phone to waste some time, probably ignoring his other responsibilities as the end of their final semester is quickly approaching. “You want to end up in the emergency room? Just use it to make a mold and replicate it with some silicon at least.” 

Taehyung raises both eyebrows in astonishment.

“Jimin, your genius never ceases to amaze me.”

+

He successfully drags Jimin with him to the campus gym. Normally the prospect of hot sweaty people grunting, in various states of undress would attract Jimin like a bee to honey, but since he’s already banged or broken up with half the people that go there, Taehyung has to keep a firm hold on his friend’s wrist.

“Why do I have to come with you again?” 

“It was your idea, so you’re taking responsibility.”

“I don’t like taking my responsibilities, they suck,” Jimin grumbles, but he stops trying to run away.

The moment they step into the gym, they’re assaulted by the musky smell of sweat and determination. There’s a high volume of people working out, probably wanting to channel their end-of-semester jitters into iron pumping. 

Taehyung spots the front desk, putting his business smile on while reaching into his folder. He hears Jimin greet someone, going off by himself, but Taehyung bears him no mind and heads straight for the Woman working the counter.

“Hi there,” he says, charm on, “ I was wondering if you could help me out,-”

“Yes you can put your flyers up, no you don’t have to pay for it, no we won’t take it down before the end of the semester, yes I do have some tape.” She says without missing a beat, not looking up at him.

“Damn, maybe I’m here because I want to sign up for a membership.” 

She finally looks up from her computer, assessing Taehyung from head to toe.

“No you don’t babe. Here’s the tape.” She says, handing him the tape while blowing a bubble with her pink gum. Multitasking at its finest.

Taehyung doesn’t feel like taking her on a debate, so he gets hold of the roll of tape and gets to work, spotting where other people left their flyers so he can put his right by them. 

He scans the gym once or twice with a quick look, trying to see if, by a stroke of luck, Mystery Man could be there. No one that is shirtless has the body he’s looking for, and he sadly doesn’t have x-ray vision to check the rest. No amount of wishing as a kid made him grow that ability.

He puts up the first flyer, this time containing all his info, and stares at it proudly. He's got a good feeling about this.

Jimin finds him again as he’s putting up his last flyer, sounding excited about something.

“I had no idea Namjoon worked out. He’s got nice arms hidden beneath those sweatshirts.”

“Namjoon? Yoongi’s friend?”

“Yeah! And he changed his hair color, it looks really good on him. A little lighter than he used to have.”

Taehyung nods along, not really pressed to know more. He’s got other fish to fry.

+

Namjoon slowly counts to 30 after seeing Taehyung leave the premises, before he basically sprints to the nearest wall, spotting the flyers Taehyung has put up.

There’s a sketch on it, a sketch of a body. A body that looks strangely like his. He frowns, before reading the caption.

“Sculpting student looking for body model. Body must look like this. Call XXX-XXX-XXXX. Food as compensation. ”

Namjoon cannot believe his eyes. Taehyung knows he’s got that exact body type, yet he didn’t ask for his help. If he needed any other confirmation that Taehyung hates him, there’s one right there.

Just what did he do to the man to make him hate him so much? 

Since he’s confronted him in the hallway, Taehyung still hasn’t reached out to him. It would be easy to do. He knows Taehyung has his number, they exchanged it when they first met, so nothing is stopping him. Unless he’s happy with the way things are.

+

Maybe Jimin is not as much of a genius as he thought. By the sixth person that walks in to be a body model, he realizes this is getting expensive in food bribes and studio fees. He has also stopped putting up the pretense of wanting to sketch anyone anymore. 

But this time, It’s one Jung Hoseok who walks in.

“Have we slept together before?” He asks right off the bat, tired of wasting his precious time. It’s his new modus operandi; invite them in, ask the burning question, then send them on their way with the promised food to avoid complaints. 

“I don’t believe so, but maybe we should fix that,” Hoseok answers, taking off his shirt.

“What are you doing?”

“Your flyers have a nude body on it, you made me come to a private studio, isn’t this a nude modeling thing?” Hoseok questions, but doesn’t stop undressing. He’s already reaching for his belt. 

Something tells Taehyung this man would be really sad to be told to put his clothes back on. The way he’s unapologetically getting naked tells Taehyung everything he needs to know. 

“So, why are you asking?” He inquires while posing, everything hanging loose and stuff. “Is that how you get laid? Asking hot dudes to model, then seducing them once they’re naked and vulnerable?”

Jung Hoseok doesn’t seem to be feeling very vulnerable right now, but Taehyung keeps that to himself.

“God no. Jesus that would be sleazy of me.”

“Not as sleazy as asking me if we’ve slept together 5 seconds into our first meeting.” Hoseok points out.

“ Touché. ” He admits, a soft chuckle escaping him.

Hoseok doesn’t press him for an answer, and they spend the next few minutes in silence, the only sound coming from Taehyung's pencil on the thick page of his sketchbook.

Jung Hoseok, standing confidently in front of him in all of his naked glory, has a certain aura around him. The way he holds himself, no hesitation to bare it all, head held high; it's like he never had to hide anything in his life. Like he never knew shame. To the point where it inspires Taehyung to utter the next words:

“I have face blindness.” He starts off, which gets his model’s attention. He keeps his eyes down on his paper to avoid eye contact, feeling rusty when it comes to revealing this part of himself. He continues quickly, “I had a one-night stand with this– perfect greek god. He had the perfect penis, too. Best sex of my life.” He's making good progress on his sketch, Hoseok’s body graceful and easy to put on paper. “I’m trying to find him, but I don’t know anything about him, and I can’t tell people’s faces apart." He chuckles deprecatingly, "The only clue I have is the way his body looks. So I put up this ad for body models hoping he would show up.”

Hoseok breaks his pose to slap his hands together, then pointing at him. “Oh my god, are you the one that plastered the whole school with the penis sculpture a few days ago? Was that your version of a ‘Wanted’ poster?”

Taehyung feels his cheeks warm up.

“Yeah, but I almost lost my diploma over that so let’s not mention it.”

Hoseok laughs with his whole body, clapping his hands together a few more times as if to express his excitement.

“That was the best thing to ever happen on this campus since 1993, thank you for that.”

His statement piques Taehyung's interest.

“What happened in 1993?” He asks, expecting anything but what comes outs of Hoseok's mouth next.

“My mom and dad conceived me in the bathroom of the literature wing.”

Taehyung chortles, surprising even himself with how loud it is.

“Now that’s a conception story worth telling your kids.”

“They didn't tell me; They got caught and got expelled the next day. They framed their expulsion letter, it’s still on display in the kitchen.” Hoseok’s voice is dripping with fondness, betraying his love for his family. “The thing is, I learned how to read at a very early age.”

Taehyung is possessed by another wave of uncontrollable laughter. He wipes a stray tear from his eyes, taking a second to compose himself.

“There, you’re looking a little better now. “

Taehyung looks up at the man, standing there in his birthday suit, going out of his way to cheer him up even though they’re perfect strangers.

(Maybe not so perfect since he’s seen him naked, but still.)

He chuckles again, going back to his sketching.

“Wait does this mean you don’t actually need models right now?”

“Well yeah," Taehyung answers, shrugging his shoulders, "But you looked like you would be really disappointed if I told you to stop undressing, so I just went along with it.”

Hoseok nods his agreement, going back into his original position.

“Good call. Now that we’re here you better get the shading of my calves right. They’re my pride and glory.”

“On it.”

+

Who would have thought that this whole ordeal would have somehow turned into Taehyung making a new friend.

He looks at the contact number in his phone staring back at him. It’s written 'Jung Hoseok' with a little sun emoji. He’s told him everything he needs to know to avoid misunderstandings, and Hoseok left with the promise to always greet him first when they see each other in the hallway. It’s sad that he only met the man in his last stretch before getting his degree, but as they say: better late than never.

He’s excited to get to know Hoseok, but he doesn’t know if he should text him first. He’s feeling a little socially rusty, having not approached anyone with the intention of being friends in a long, long time. Which is why he jumps with glee when he sees he’s got a text notification from his new friend. But then he reads the text, and the glee morphes into unadulterated excitement.

 Jung Hoseok 🌞:

4:56 pm    I think i know who your penis belongs to

4:56 pm    can you send me a picture? I lost the flyers i kept from that time

                                       4:59 pm    You sent a picture

 5:01 pm   Yeah it’s really similar 

5:01 pm    Kim Seokjin, XXX-XXX-XXXX, probably currently working the counter at the campus coffee shop. 

5:02 pm     He’s tall, broad shoulders, awesome dick

Taehyung doesn’t even take the time to text back his thanks; he wraps up his project in a disorderly manner, wiping his hands on his shirt with no care in the world. He throws his backpack on and basically sprint to the coffee shop he usually tends to avoid. The owner is totally an evil capitalist, ripping off students with his overpriced coffee.

He gets there in record time, gasping for air as his poor lungs try to keep up with enough exercise to last him a lifetime.

He’s covered in clay stains, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, clothes in dismay, lungs wheezing, so he should probably expect the next few events that unfold. 

He walks into the coffee shop still out of breath, asks if Kim Seokjin is there to the first employee he sees. This is one of those times where he’s happy he can’t read people’s expressions, because he has a feeling he’s being judged very much right now.

“He… just got off his shift.” The man at the counter answers hesitantly.

“Can you tell me where he went?” And what he was wearing?” Taehyung may be sounding a little desperate, but he doesn’t have the time to care.

“He was still in his uniform, so green, and he went that way.” He indicates with a vague wave of the hand.  

Taehyung starts running again, this time looking even more crazed as he scans his surroundings like a mad man, looking for someone tall with broad shoulders wearing green.

He spots him after running for a few minutes, thanking the heavens that the employee sent him in the right direction. He had every reason not to.

“Kim Seokjin!” He calls out, picking up his pace despite his lungs begging for a break. “Wait!”

He sees the man stop, take one look at him over his admittedly very large shoulders, then start sprinting away from him.

“No! Wait up!” He pushes himself harder than he ever has, his legs and lungs burning under the continuous strain, head feeling a little faint. “Please!” He calls out again in desperation. “Please look at my penis!”

This catches Seokjin’s attention, and he thankfully stops running, turning around as if to wait for him. Taehyung slows down to a jog, then to a complete stop, bending over gasping for air. Once his breathing is finally somewhat back to normal, he straightens up, only to come face to face with a bottle of pepper spray.

“W-wait!” He stutters, falling on his ass. “I swear I’m not a creep!”

“That’s exactly what a creep would say.” Seokjin answers, hovering over him threateningly, aiming the pepper spray directly at Taehyung’s face.

“I swear I just need you to look at my penis.”

This was the wrong thing to say apparently, because Seokjin gives the bottle a good shake as if to activate it. “That doesn’t sound as reassuring as you seem to think.”

“No! Wait!” He pleads again. “Not my penis.” He takes off his backpack, frantically digging through it until he finally pulls out his sculpture.  “ This penis.”

Seokjin doesn’t look totally convinced, but he finally lowers his weapon. “That’s a beautiful cock.” He admits after a moment of staring in silence. 

“Thank you. Is it yours?” 

"I don't remember owning that sculpture."

"Not the sculpture; the Penis."

Seokjin frowns, extending his hand, and Taehyung gingerly deposits his precious sculpture into his palm. The man finally puts away his pepper spray to free both his hands. He examines the penis under every angle, trying out the hold, measuring the testicles with his palm, staring at it long and hard.

Taehyung takes the opportunity to stand back up, keeping his distance this time.

“It does look very similar,” he concludes, hands going to his chin. “But this is not my penis. I don’t have a mole there.”

Taehyung deflates. He still asks, just in case. “So we haven’t slept together?”

Seokjin gives him back his sculpture with a snort. “You don’t look like anything I've ever slept with.” 

Taehyung realizes the state he’s in. He must look ridiculous right now.

“I’m from the sculpting department. I didn’t have the time to clean up. I don’t usually go around looking like I just rolled in the mud.”

“Explains a lot.” Seokjin nods, looking him up and down.

He dusts himself off as best as he can, but he can’t do much more cleaning up than that. He’ll probably have to go back home looking like that.

“So what’s your name?”

Taehyung feels dumb, he didn’t even have the decency to introduce himself before pulling out his penis. His social skills are frankly lacking.

“I’m Kim Taehyung. Sorry about all that, someone told me you could have the original version of this sculpture.”

“I’m flattered. It is pretty similar. Can I ask why you’re going around asking people to look at your– At this penis?” 

Taehyung sighs deeply, looking down at the penis in his hand. He did it once, he can do it again.

“Long story short I had an amazing one-night stand with the owner of this beautiful creature, but I have no idea who he is and the only clue I have is my perfect memory of his penis.”

“Sounds like a proper modern-day Cinderella story. But how come you don’t remember his face?” Seokjin questions, a hint of worry in his voice that would make sense in any other situation than Taehyung’s.

“I…. have face blindness, it’s this whole-”

“Ah, Yes, Prosopagnosia, I heard about that in class.”

“Oh. Well, yeah, so this is my only way of finding him.”

“So the Penis Flyers-”

“Yeah, that was also me. Forgot to write down my info, got caught by my teacher, that was a whole mess.” Taehyung admits, feeling discouraged.

“So now you’re basically going around town asking every man to try on the metaphorical glass shoes.”

“Basically.”

“Maybe don’t start off with ‘please look at my penis’ next time?” Seokjin recommends, which makes sense.

“I’ve been told that asking if we’ve slept together first thing is making me sound sleazy.”

“Yeah well, asking people to look at your penis isn’t better.”

“I’ll take good note of that.”

+

He drags his feet all the way back home.

He sees, pushed in the corner of his room, the material he got to make a mold, and wonders if now is the time to give up.

His exhibition is coming up, this whole thing made him late on his projects, and now he’s certain he’ll never reunite with Mystery Man. Maybe Mystery Man just doesn’t want to be found. Maybe he’s seen all his attempts and has simply steered clear, avoiding him all along. Maybe it’s time for Taehyung to make himself a silicon version and move on. He’s exhausted all his options, he’s out of time, and out of ideas.

He’s reading through the molding instruction, glad that this should be easy since he’s using a sculpture and not an actual living and breathing dick, when he realizes he hasn’t exhausted all his options. There’s still hope.

He jumps in the shower, picks out an outfit befitting of his destination, and goes off with hope in his heart.

+

The Bar isn't too busy, this being the middle of a school week, but there’s still some people going about, sharing drinks and being loud, in total denial of the oncoming train that is the end of a semester

Taehyung spots the barman, beeline for him. 

“Hey, do you know who usually works on Sundays?”

“That would be me.” Mr.Barman says, convincing Taehyung he finally has luck on his side.

Mr.Barman is on the tall side, with nice tattooed arms and wavy over-bleached hair tucked behind his ears. He’s making his forearm bulge seductively by polishing some beer glasses, and if Taehyung wasn’t on a mission to find his possible Mr.Perfect, he would be actively trying to get into his pants. 

“Do you, by any chance, recognize me?”

Mr.Barman doesn’t miss a beat.

“You’re a regular. And you gave me a blowjob once. Why are you asking?”

Well, Taehyung might have many flaws but at least he’s consistent.

“I was wondering if you remembered seeing me a few weeks ago– I was with a dude, about this height, with this body,” he adds, pulling out the sketch. He looks a little crazed, once again. But it’s ok, he’s reaching for straws here. “He had dark hair, but that’s all I can tell you. See, I have face-”

“-Blindness, I know, you cry about it every time you get drunk.”

Hm. And Taehyung thought he was a character full of mystery.

“I do know who you’re talking about. He’s a regular too.”

The irritation Taehyung feels is only momentary, everything melting away with this new bit of information. Someone saw them, someone knows what his Mystery Man looks like. He didn't hallucinate the whole thing. 

“Do you know his name??” He asks, pleading with his eyes. His heart is thumping wildly in his chest, desperation tangible.

“No. And he hasn’t been here since that night.” He says, crushing every hope and dream Taehyung mustered up in the last five seconds. He pauses his polishing, head tilting to the side. “But I do remember his face. I can try and draw him if you want.”

10 minutes later, Taehyung is looking at his disability in the face.

“Wow, you did it. You perfectly illustrated how people with face blindness see others.” Taehyung says, looking down at the drawing Jungkook (he asked for his name) quickly scribbled on a piece of napkin. It looks exactly like how he sees others.

Jungkook being good-natured, only laugh it off. “I can’t do much here, I’m working. But if you give me your number, I can try and do a better sketch once I get home. I’m from the painting department.”

“You would do that for me?” Taehyung asks, feeling deeply moved by Jungkook’s kindness. 

“Sure, it’s good practice for my portrait class anyways. You can take this as a thank you for the blow job.”

Taehyung nods to himself. 

“I do give amazing blowjobs.”

+

Jungkook, like any good art student, does not appreciate being rushed.

After a whole week of being told “it’s not ready yet”, Taehyung stops asking. 

He also wakes up one morning and realizes he only has a few days left before his exhibition.

Not only is he not done with all his pieces, he still hasn’t started studying for his finales which happen to be the week before his exhibition, meaning, the next day.

He pushes aside any thought of Mystery Man (except when he hugs the sculpture at night, heart yearning for the original), and jumps straight into his cramming strategy, which consists of hitting himself with the books until he’s absorbed the material. If he’s not studying, taking a finale, or sleeping, he’s huddled in the workshop with the other students of his department, functioning on coffee and eating various shades of sculpting material for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is not what Taehyung expected when he was told that artists live from their arts.

The day before his exhibition, he’s barely feeling human, he’s got dried clay in places clay should never find itself, he doesn’t know words anymore and he has basically forgotten his own name.

No matter how fast he works, he realizes he won’t be able to finish his last pieces in time. He’s wracking his brain for a solution, thinking long and hard about just what he could do, when it hits him. 

The solution is right underneath his nose; 

His penis. It was always his penis. 

He’s supposed to expose pieces that he finds impactful, and if there’s anything that had a big impact on his life in the last few weeks, it’s his sculpture.

He can’t tell his teacher, he’ll categorically refuse. Not after the stunt he pulled with the flyers. Plus he wouldn't understand the cultural reset it was for Taehyung, finding and crafting that beautiful creature.

So he sets to work in secret. It shouldn’t be too hard, he hasn’t printed his labels yet. Plus the students are in charge of installing their own corner, meaning he can wait until the very last moment before the opening to put his penis on display.

He needs to find a name for his sculpture, so he texts his friends for help, but as usual, they are unhelpful.

 Asshole with pink hair:

6:45 pm  ‘ Suck on that’

 Hyungie:

6:45 pm    why are you asking me idk

 Jung Hoseok 🌞 :

6:50 pm   “ Long lost lover”

 He’s glad to see that his new friend will fit right in once he introduces him to everyone. 

He isn’t satisfied with the answer he gets, so he sends more text.

 Kim Seokjin:

7:05 pm  “Is this your penis?”

7:06 pm   Or better yet, “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PENIS?”

7:06 pm   that way people will understand how current your art is

7:10 pm   Also I didn’t give you this number to chitchat

7:10 pm   after we find out his identity im cutting all ties with you

7:11 pm   Im just feeling invested right now

7:11 pm   that’s all

7:17 pm   Where’s your exhibition again?

Jeon Jungkook barman and artist:

9:56 pm  idk

9:56 pm  im almost done with the portrait btw

9:56 pm  you mind if I use it for my exhibition

9:56 pm  im really proud of it

 So not much more help on that side either.

+

The next day, Taehyung is busy setting up his corner and feeling emotional over his last exhibition.

He’s done with uni. He can go off into the world and live from his art. Or more like, he’ll first find a side job that’ll suck the life out of him, to pay for his art. Then he’ll spend a few years regretting every decision that led him to be an artist, but just as he’s about to give up, his sculptures will be noticed by a mysterious millionaire that’ll commission him thousands of dollars at first. He’ll refer him to his rich friend who will be all over his art and will throw their money at him.

Yeah, it’s a nice pipe dream.

He makes sure all the labels are in place, the lights are hitting his pieces in all the right way, and that no one notices him putting his penis in the middle of his space 30 seconds before they open the doors.

By the time his teacher notices, it’s already too late; the place flooded with friends, family, and even the occasional art critics that the university invited.

It’s not like his penis feels out of place in his setup. Most of his pieces are on the theme of the human body; studies of movement, skin texture, whatnot. If you look at it as a whole, you almost have a whole body. The only thing missing is a face, which is extremely fitting for Taehyung.

The wave of people coming is not preferable for Taehyung, since he doesn’t like crowded places. He’s never been a fan of their exhibition opening nights over the years. He keeps himself busy by trying his best to merge with the wall while people circle his pieces. His friends know he won’t be able to recognize them in the crowd, so they’ll come to him by themselves, he simply has to make himself visible.

“Hey babe,” Jimin says with mirth in his voice, “Is that greek?”

“Yeah” Taehyung answers, fixing his eyes on his most beloved and central piece. 

“I didn’t know you knew greek”

“I don’t, but Google does.”

The Penis is standing directly underneath his own spotlight, looking like a beacon of light, grabbing the envious stares of the people around it.

There’s a little white label by its base:

   Kim Taehyung

πέος, 2021

Red Clay  

(if you recognize this penis, please ask for the artist)

  “ What does it mean?”

“ Penis ”

Jimin hums, crossing his arm over his chest. “I guess I was not expecting anything less.”

Yoongi chooses that moment to appear, whistling his praise.

“So you did work this semester.” He jokes, bobbing his head with approval.

“Har, har.” Like he’s one to talk. He basically spent the last few months becoming one with his bed.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he expects it to be Hoseok or Seokjin telling him they’re here, but instead it’s from Jungkook, and it’s a picture.

A little gasp of surprise escapes him.

His hands shake as he opens up the text app, his heart thumping as the picture loads. He presses on it once it’s ready, taking up the full screen, and Taehyung can finally-... well, Taehyung can’t do anything with that. His case of face blindness is pretty severe, so even drawings are unrecognizable for him. But it’s something! A new clue! He can make a flyer out of this! He can-

“Why do you have a portrait of Namjoon on your phone?”

Time stops.

Yoongi’s voice echoes in his head, mocking him, but also stealing the carpet right from underneath his feet.

Why do you have a portrait of Namjoon on your phone?

A portrait of Namjoon

Namjoon

Namjoon, who stood in front of him silently, that day Yoongi invited him out, probably expecting some kind of reaction from Taehyung.

Namjoon who frequents the campus gym.

Namjoon, who’s tall and broad-shouldered.

Namjoon, who’s been around Taehyung for a while but was never told about his condition. 

Namjoon, who probably thinks Taheyung has been ignoring him all this time.

“Jesus fucking christ, My Mystery Man Is Kim Namjoon.”

Both his friends voice their confusion as Taehyung tries to rip his hair from his head.

“This penis belongs to Kim Namjoon, who doesn’t know I have face blindness, and who probably think I’ve been ignoring him all this fucking time.”

“Holy shit,” Yoongi says at the same time as Park Jimin, that prick, starts cackling uncontrollably. Taehyung always knew he was evil.

“This is- I’m so sorry but- This shouldn't be funny– But I can’t, it’s too funny.” He wheezes out in between laughter. “He was right there, probably confused as hell as to why you were showing his dick to everyone- I’m sorry this is so funny but also so, so sad. You never- oh my god.”

Under the attention of about half the gallery, he wipes the tears from his eyes, body convulsing with laughter.

“What the fuck are you waiting for.” He finally manages to say, taking a deep breath. “Hyung, didn’t you drag him here tonight?”

That seems to snap Yoongi out of his stupor.

“Fuck, yes he’s here, he’s... There!-” He says pointing somewhere, but then his voice dies down. “And now he’s leaving...”

Taehyung spots the man with a black cap currently walking out the exit with an angry stride. He reacts on instinct, running after his Not So Mysterious Man Anymore.

+

Kim Namjoon is having a very no good, very bad day. 

Not because of school, no. He aced all his finales, he doesn’t even need to get his grades back to know.

Not because of the weather either. No, it’s a beautiful spring day, and there’s a hint of cherry blossom in the air, wrapping the world in a romantic tint.

No, the reason he’s having a very no good very bad day, is because he can’t, for the love of God, get Kim Taehyung out of his head. 

It started with a very interesting dream, clearly drawing inspiration from the night they spent together. It woke him up at the crack of dawn, sweating up bullets and hard as a rock. Finding sleep afterward was nearly impossible, meaning his first precious day of vacation started way too fucking early.

Now music theory never sleeps, so he simply spent his morning trying to forget his dream, channeling all his energy on composing. 

But then Min Yoongi, long-time friend and co-compositor, had to go and ruin his fragile peace of mind by reminding him he had two tickets for the sculpting department exhibition, and Namjoon was obligated to show up. Meaning he would inevitably run into Kim Taehyung; Meaning he would agonize about him all day; Meaning , that he would be thinking about Kim Fucking Taehyung all day.

But it’s ok, because he was finally starting to come to terms with that too. Taehyung would probably ignore him again, and all he needed to do was circle the gallery once and get the fuck out.

But no.

Oh no.

Life had better plans.

Because right into the center of Taehyung's exhibition space, is his very own penis, standing proudly, mocking him.

He can recognize it from the flyers, so he knows instantly that it’s Taehyung’s work. 

He’s stunned by the audacity, wondering once again what he did to draw Taehyung’s ire upon himself. The flyers were not enough, no he had to go and put it on display as his final fuck you to Namjoon. Even wrote 'penis' in greek as a title, confirming Namjoon's theory that this is all a ploy to make fun of him.

Namjoon has had enough, he’s getting the fuck out of there. 

He spins on his heel at the speed of light, taking advantage of every inch of his long legs to walk out as fast as possible. He ignores the call of his name that follows after him, readjusting the cap on his head.

He’s fuming, feeling tears of frustration building up. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s been nothing but respectful of Taehyung. He’s been staying away from him too. 

He doesn’t deserve this.

He makes it a few blocks before his phone starts going off every 5 seconds with incoming texts, forcing him to finally look at it.

 Yoongi Hyung:

6:14 pm   Before anything, know that Taehyung suffers from severe face blindness.

6:14 pm   I know you know what that means you wikipedia rat

6:15 pm   I didn’t tell you cause it’s none of my business who he chooses to tell

6:15 pm   But the dumbass has been trying to find you for weeks using your dick because he had no other way to identify you

6:15 pm   Your pinning hasn't been exactly subtle either

6:16 pm    he ran after you when you left but I bet he’s pleading with the wrong person in the street right now

6:17 pm   Nice dick by the way

 He rereads the series of text to try and make sense of them. Only after the third read, does he finally understand.

Well, shit.

+

“Please Namjoon listen to me, you have to listen to me, I didn't mean to ignore you, I just didn't know it was you!-” Taehyung pleads, holding on to his sleeve.

“Can you please let go of me?!”

His voice sounds a little older than what Taehyung remembers, but he doesn’t have the time to think too much about that. Maybe he’s got a cold or something.

“-I can explain everything if you can just give me two minutes-”

“I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not this kind of person.”

Taehyung isn’t deterred, holding on to him desperately “-Please I swear just two- no, one minute, even one minute is enough-”

Someone clears their throat, tapping him softly on the shoulder. 

“Sorry sir, I believe my friend here is mistaking you for me.”

Now that’s a familiar voice. A voice he recognizes from many occasions. 

Taehyung lets go of his poor unsuspecting victim, taking a step back which is all it takes for them to run away from him.

He finally comes face to face with the source of all his past weeks' torment.

The height is there, the shoulders are there, the body proportions are there, the hair color is completely different, but Jimin did mention he changed it recently. He’s got the black cap on, the one that made Taehyung mistake a perfect stranger on the street for him.

It’s him. He found him. It’s his Mystery Man, his cinderella. He’s got him.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes, that’s me.” He confirms, voice gentle.

“Kim Namjoon.” He repeats, trying the name out on his tongue. His body is filling up with butterflies, and he can’t feel his toes.

“And here I thought you just could never remember my name.”

“I can explain–” He rushes, eager to get rid of the misunderstanding.

“It’s ok, Yoongi told me.”

“And about your penis–”

“Yes, Yoongi told me about that too.” Namjoon cuts him off, the tip of his ears getting pink.

“I’m so sorry– I should have asked your name then. I mean– you made me come four times .”

Namjoon chuckles, catching one of Taehyung’s hands mid flail and holding it with both of his, making his heart jump.

“We’ve basically known each other for years, so maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t think I would have appreciated it then.”

“I guess that’s true. I’m still sorry.”

“I’m sorry too, I could have come up to you first. I mean, I’m the one who sneaked out in the morning. I had an 8 am class, by the way. I didn’t leave because I wanted to. But you have my number so… I assumed you would call me. ”

“I have your number...?” It's pretty vague, but it does ring a bell. He's got a blurry memory of time, around their first meeting, when Namjoon and he had exchanged their numbers for Yoongi related reasons. “That’s right, I do have your number. Fuck.”

“Well, I know now this wouldn’t have changed anything for you, since you simply didn't know it was me you were with.” Namjoon snorts, but not unkindly. More at the situation. 

But Taehyung still feels terrible.

“I’m so sorry.” He whines, feeling like burying his face in Namjoon’s chest. But they’re not there yet. “I tend to keep people at a distance to avoid misunderstandings.”

“It’s ok, I get it now. I guess I wish I knew before, but I get it now.”

“Good. I should have told you sooner. I was actually planning on doing it soon if that’s any consolation.”

“It is.” Namjoon murmurs, inching closer to him.

“Cool, cool cool.” Taehyung blurts out nervously.

This is it. This is his chance. Everything that has transpired in the last few weeks is leading up to this moment. 

"So," Namjoon starts when Taehyung has been silent for too long. "Yoongi said you were looking for me... Any particular reasons?"

"Well, yes." He answers but stops. All of this means nothing. It doesn't mean that Namjoon will accept to go out with him. He has no idea how Namjoon feels about him, and he sure as hell cannot tell by his facial expression. He's going in blind, no reason to believe that Namjoon wants to have to do anything with him. For all he knows, Namjoon is only here to settle the misunderstanding, and then be on his way. Maybe he's even mad about the penis flyers.

But then he also remembers that Namjoon is holding his hand right now. It's now or never.

He takes a deep breath for bravery and goes for it.

“Kim Namjoon, can I please take you out on a date?”

Namjoon doesn’t let him second guess himself, word leaving his mouth as fast as a blink.

“Absolutely.”

Apparently, they’ve gathered a crowd because there’s cheerful hooting and shouting erupting around them. But Taehyung pays them no mind as he goes in for a hug, Namjoon meeting him halfway.

“Wait, wait,” Namjoon says, suddenly, taking a step back. “I still don’t know why you put my penis on display at the center of your exhibition.”

Taehyung chuckles, bringing Namjoon back in. 

“Simple, ‘cause it’s a masterpiece.”

+

 2 months later

There’s a knock at the door, which throws Taehyung off. He’s getting ready for his date with Namjoon– their actual first date– and is not expecting anyone. Jimin knows the code, so it can’t be him, unless–

“Hello sir, would you be open to receiving the words of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?”

“Jimin, I swear to god, I can tell it’s you by your voice. And no one from church would dress like you do, slut.”

Moving in with Jimin is as much a blessing as it is a curse. A blessing because, well, they’re best friends. A curse because his best friend’s favorite hobby is to try and prank him. Taehyung almost misses the time where Jimin was treating his face blindness as a taboo. 

Almost.

The last two months have been a whirlwind of life-changing events for Taehyung. 

First, moving in with Jimin is a pretty big deal. Not only has Taehung been living alone for the last three years, living with someone is sometimes a challenge for him. Wondering why a stranger is standing in your kitchen at 3 am, brain slowed down by sleep and the weak lighting not helping, isn’t always a recipe for success. But he’s slowly getting used to it, and Jimin, as much as he can be a prick, is being patient with him.

The second big event is, well, his current job. Somehow his workshop teacher, even after everything, recommended him for a job at a sculpture academy. He now teaches different types of sculpting medium to children, four nights a week. Pretty sweet gig.

At first, he was going crazy out of his mind worrying about working with children, but four weeks in and he’s feeling confident. He sat down with the kids the first week to explain to them what face blindness is, and although the children were initially confused, they now enjoy switching names with each other for the duration of his classes, to mess with his head.

Jokes on them, Taehyung also called their parents during that first week. So far, none of the children have noticed that their parents have been making them wear certain accessories every time they leave for the academy. Checkmates.

And the last big event, of course, is Namjoon. 

In between moving, his new job, and Namjoon’s own busy schedule, they have yet to go on an actual full-blown date. But they’ve slowly been getting to know each other. They make time to go on quick coffee dates sometimes, and they text none-stop. Namjoon hasn’t seen his new place yet, but they’ve hung out at Namjoon’s plenty of time. 

His boyfriend (he gets giddy thinking about that word) also showed up at the academy a few times to walk him back home (The first time he kept it as a surprise, but he quickly realized Taehyung didn’t like surprises; especially when it means having a tall stranger approach him in the dark without saying anything. Now he texts beforehand.)

“Do you like this outfit? Or should I go with my floral button-up?” He asks Jimin, who’s lounging on his bed after his failed prank attempt. 

“Why are you so stressed? It’s not like it's the first time you two see each other.”

“Because the chances of me getting laid tonight are extremely high and I want to look good.”

“Oh?” Jimin perks up, knowing full well Taehyung and Namjoon have been taking their time to get to know each other. “Should I sleepover at Hobi’s tonight?”

Another new development from the last two months: Jimin and Hoseok’s instant attraction. They’ve been dancing around each other since the exhibition, but it looks like it’s finally getting ‘ sleeping-over-at-each-others-place ’ serious.

“...Good idea,” Taehyung answers, not because he wants the house to himself (though it’s a nice perk), but he likes giving a little push to love sometimes.

His friend circle can finally be called a circle now. Somehow, Hoseok, Seokjin, and Namjoon just naturally fit into his now actually social, social life. Namjoon was the easiest since he already knew Yoongi and Jimin. Hoseok got it easy by becoming Jimin’s more-than-friend, and Seokjin just showed up one day with a video of that time, outside the gallery, when Taehyung thought an older gentleman was Namjoon because of his black cap. 

He looks at the time, curses when he realizes he’s going to be late. He grabs his wallet and puts on his shoes in a rush, and makes it out the door accompanied by Jimin shouting “Don’t you dare fuck on the couch or you’re buying a new one!”

He makes it to the Bar with only a few minutes to spare, and as luck would have it, Jungkook is working. He’s come to recognize his tattooed arm and bleached locks instantly. 

Namjoon would have texted him if he was there, which means he’s cutting it close as well, so he sends a quick ‘here 💖’ text before sitting down at the Bar with a big smile.

“You make me want to puke,” Jungkook says, disgust dripping from his words. 

“Hey now don’t be jealous, I’m sure you’ll find yourself a monster cock as well one day.”

Somehow, he and Jungkook started texting on a semi-regular basis. It’s mostly Jungkook begging Taehyung to introduce him to Seokjin (apparently he’s been crushing on the man since he first saw him at the coffee shop), which Taehyung has to find excuses every time to avoid telling Jungkook the cold, harsh truth.

(“I don’t date men with bleached hair, it ruins my whole aesthetic.” Jin said after the first time Taehyung asked. Which aesthetic he’s talking about, Taehyung has no idea.)

But that also means that Jungkook has heard all about his very fascinating and blooming love story with Namjoon.

“Did you tell Seokjin I said hi?”

“Dude, just go and ask him out. You know where he works, you know where he studies, you even know his birthday, which is really creepy when you two have never talked by the way. Just, go ask him out, he won’t be able to resist you once he actually sees how attractive you are.” He pauses for a second, then adds for safety measure, “But if he reaches in his pocket, just run the other way.”

“What?” 

“Don’t ask, just trust me.” Taehyung has some unpleasant flashbacks of a bottle of pepper spray being waved in front of his face. He shakes his head to try and get rid of the memory.

“And how would you even know that I’m attractive, you don’t actually know what I look like.” Jungkook retorts.

“Shut up, just go and ask him.”

“Just go and ask him what?” A familiar voice asks from behind him, and Taehyung's smile is back full force. He rotates on his chair and jumps into Namjoon’s arms, hearing him groan under the strain of his weight. He can hear Jungkook fake gagging behind him, the actual child.

They share a quick kiss before they both sit down at the bar.

“You’re not seriously thinking about having your date here, are you?”

Taehyung snorts, tempted to mess with Jungkook, but Namjoon is the one to answer.

“No we just wanted to get the evening started with a nice drink, but we have a reservation to an actual fancy restaurant, paid graciously by Taehyung's actual serious adult job.”

“Is it a serious adult job if he had to stop a kid from eating his donut-shaped clay yesterday?”

“Shut up. If you keep being like that I’m going to order the most annoying thing on the menu.”

Jungkook scoffs and walks away, without actually taking their orders.

They both watch him do a big show of ignoring them, answering other customers without turning in their direction.

“Let’s just get out of here.” Namjoon whispers in his ear. “We can go waste time walking around aimlessly, hand in hand.”

“God, you’re so cheesy,” Taehyung mutters, but he actually loves it.

His dating experience before Namjoon amounts to an enormous zero, but it’s not because he’s one of those unattainable, i-don’t-believe-in-love types of people that live rent-free in Hollywood movies. He simply never thought it would be possible to get close to someone romantically with his condition. But since officially meeting Namjoon, he’s been researching, and turns out, he totally can. 

There are even people, artists like him, who've noticed that repeatedly drawing or painting their loved one has made them actually able to remember their face (not 100% of the time, but he’ll take what he can get.). So he’s been sketching, using pictures, trying out different angles. He’s planning on using clay at one point. He’s totally the girl from Lionel Richie’s music video. Which makes Namjoon Lionel Richie.

“Did you know that I was inspired by Lionel Richie’s music video to sculpt your penis?”

Namjoon chuckles under his breath, squeezing Taehyung’s hand just a little bit more. The hot summer air is making their palms sweaty, but they both don’t care. 

“Where is that thing, by the way? It’s been a while since I’ve last seen it.”

“I put it on my bedside table when I moved in and I haven't moved it since. I’m thinking about making it into a lamp. I have to keep it out of reach of Jimin and Hoseok, they both seem a little too interested.”

Namjoon grimaces. Or Taehyung is assuming that’s his grimacing face. 

“Please never let it fall into their hands.”

“I swear on my honor, I shall protect your penis.”

“Thank you, I feel better now. I still can’t believe they put it on the first page of ‘Sculpting Now’. Crazy how all of your friends and the sculpting world know what my dick looks like.

“It’s a masterpiece. If it was mine I would never keep it in my pants, I’d always want to show it off.”

“How are you not in prison right now?”

“I don’t have your dick in my pants, sadly. Did you know that Seokjin almost pepper-sprayed me the first time we met? In retrospect, having a stranger run after you, pleading for you to look at their dick is a good excuse to pull out your pepper spray.”

“Wait, you did what?”

“It was all in the name of love.”

Namjoon shakes his head, probably disappointed in him.

+

Namjoon is utterly enamored. Every time Taehyung recalls a story from when he ran around school trying to find him, he falls a little bit more in love. 

He was so nervous for their first romantic date that he couldn’t eat during the day, but Taehyung is making him feel at ease, as he usually does, so hunger is coming back with a vengeance.

“Should we go to the restaurant now?” He asks, pulling Taehyung along with him. "It's almost time."

“Let’s.” Taehyung agrees readily, “I’m ravenous.”

They quickly make their way to the restaurant, only to find its door closed. There’s a sign in the window reading “Closed for vermin infestation”.

“Oh.” Namjoon says, “Dammit. That’s not good.”

There’s this awkward silence, filled with growling sounds from both their bellies. It’s too late to make reservations anywhere nice, and anywhere else risks being too loud for a romantic Rendez-Vous. Namjoon is scrambling his brain for a solution when Taehyung’s shy voice interrupts.

“Hum, if you want to– Jimin told me he wouldn't be home tonight, so… You want to come over? We can pick up some ramen on the way.”

Taehyung’s face might be neutral, but the blush growing on his cheeks is anything but. Namjoon takes a moment to appreciate the sight that he makes, burning up in embarrassment. Without the blushing, Namjoon would have believed he’s only inviting him for ramen, but the angry red of his cheeks is definitely betraying Taehyung’s intentions.

He nods his agreement, feeling anticipation replace hunger in the pit of his stomach.

+

 Having Namjoon in his space is a new experience. 

The apartment is still messy from their move, boxes lying around, but they’ve managed to make it quite homey. Everything that is necessary to their everyday life has been unboxed, only the odd objects being ignored by Jimin and him.

He puts on some soft music to set a nice mood, and Namjoon is humming along straight away, which is all the approval he needs to feel confident about his music selection. Music Theory graduate approved. 

 He gets to work on the ramen while he directs Namjoon on where to find a cheap bottle of wine and some wine glasses. He sets the table, trying to make it as nice as possible, but it’s really just a pot of bubbling ramen and two bowls with some chopsticks. 

They eat in comfortable silence, the music playing in the background mixing with the sound of their eating.

But then Namjoon dumps the content of his wine glass on his tan-colored pants, and it’s downhill from there.

“Damn it!” He curses, jumping to his feet. He grabs some napkins to try and pat some wine off, but it’s already been absorbed by his fancy suit pants. 

“Quick, take them off,” Taehyung says, not thinking too hard and only reacting to the situation at hand. “Let’s rinse them in the sink.” 

Namjoon complies, taking them off in record time, passing them on to Taehyung like it’s a relay race.

Taehyung deposits them straight in the sink, opening the tap and letting the water hopefully get rid of most of the stain. They both stand there for a minute, staring at the water filling up. 

But then it hits Taehyung that Namjoon’s thighs are currently bare and in his vicinity. He sneaks a quick peek to satisfy his horny brain, but he’s quick to snap his eyes back to the sink to avoid doing anything stupid.

Like, let’s say , dropping to his knees. 

He can feel himself blushing, his cheeks, ears, and neck feeling hot. He knew exactly what he was doing, inviting Namjoon for some ramen, but now that he can act on it, he’s suddenly feeling very shy. 

Plus, not being able to read facial expressions never really impaired his ability to get laid. He used to just– go to the bar, wait until someone would offer him to get out of there, and go for it. 

But this is not a bar, and Namjoon won’t ask him if he wants to get out of there. He has no idea how to tell if Namjoon wants to jump into bed with him. Or not. 

He takes matters into his own hands.

“So, as you know,” He starts, staring intently at the water flowing out of the tap, “this whole face blindness thing– I can’t really read your facial expressions. So in the future, it’ll be hard for me to figure out if you’re angry or happy, or sad, or… or horny. I’ve never done this whole– Romantic relationship thing, but I’m guessing we’re going to have to be really vocal with how we’re feeling, what we want, whatnot.”

He lets his statements hang in the air, staring at the stain that doesn’t seem to want to go away. He’s thinking maybe this will have to be removed professionally. 

But then, Namjoon chooses that moment to drop a soft kiss on his nape.

“Are you asking me, right now, if I want you?” 

Taehyung turns around, letting himself be cornered against the counter. Namjoon has his nicely defined biceps, somehow peeking through his suit vest, on each side of him. He absolutely loves it.

“Yes. I am.”

Namjoon kisses his neck once again, and Taehyung is this close to losing it. 

“I absolutely want you.” His boyfriend finally answers, landing a heavy kiss on his lips, sucking all the air out of Taehyung’s lungs.

 After turning Taehyung’s inside to mush via lips on lips crime, he returns to his assault on Taehyung’s neck, peppering the skin he can reach with sweet kisses, each one sending electricity straight to his groin. 

“Do you want me?” Namjoon questions softly into his ear, making Taehyung's eyes roll back so far he’s scared they’ll never come back. 

“Fuck yes.” He grinds out, voice turning to a whine when Namjoon, emboldened by Taehyung’s enthusiasm, rocks his pelvis into his in a languid motion.

He sees white then, bringing Namjoon’s mouth back to his, smashing their mouths together in a wet and messy kiss.

“How important are your pants?” He inquires in between kisses, enjoying the slow grinding Namjoon has going on. He’s still in his suit pants, but Namjoon only has the thin cotton of his boxer brief as a barrier. Taehyung can clearly feel his monster cock waking up from its slumber. 

“Not very important.” He finally answers, hands letting go of the counter to firmly grab at Taehyung’s ass. 

Taehyung can proudly say he’s got a fat ass, and Namjoon seems to appreciate it if the growl that escapes him is anything to go by.

He gets to work on the buttons of Namjoon’s dress shirt, Namjoon getting the message and taking his vest off by himself. Soon he’s standing there in only his boxer briefs and socks, while Taehyung is still fully dressed.

It’s kind of hot. 

They slow it down a little, Taehyung pushing Namjoon away so he can take a good look at him. 

The light of the kitchen falls almost gracefully over Namjoon’s defined chest, creating shadows that chisel out his muscles even more. It’s a sight to behold. 

He drags his hands down Namjoon's body, teasing a nipple as he goes with a flick of the thumb, mapping out his taut stomach with the tip of his finger, then coming back up to hold onto his strong shoulders.

“You know, I’m like, really good at massages. I feel like this is something you should know.”

Seems like this is all the time Namjoon will allow him away from him. He reels him back in with an arm around his waist, the other taking hold of one of Taehyung’s hands and bringing it to his mouth. He nips at his fingers, maintaining eye contact while he uses his tongue to soothe the sting.

How he’s even real is beyond Taehyung.

“Do you need help undressing?” Namjoon teases, reaching for his belt.

“Let me close the tap and we can move this to my room.” 

Namjoon doesn’t give him a response, only cages him once again against the counter, plastering the full length of his warm body to his. He reaches behind Taehyung and moments later, the soft ambiance music is the only thing they can hear again. 

Taehyung leads him to his bedroom, taking off his vest as they go. Somehow Namjoon already got his belt buckle, so he unceremoniously drops his pants to the floor, then jumps on his bed.

“Welcome to my room. That’s my desk, that’s my bedside table, that’s a replica of your penis, but I heard the original is planning on making an appearance tonight. This is my bed. Hope you enjoyed the tour.” He finally gets to the final button, looking up eagerly as he sends his shirt off to the side, wondering what’s taking Namjoon so long to get on the goddamn bed.

He finds his lover completely captivated by his penis duplicate.

“You’ve got the same one in your pants, you know. Get you your ass over here.” 

“Sorry I was just thinking… it’s crazy how similar you made it only from your memory.”

“Excuse me?” Taehyung objects, crossing his arms over his chest. “They’re not just similar, they’re identical.” 

“Only one way to check, is there?” Namjoon taunts, before finally, finally getting rid of his briefs, releasing the Kraken. 

Except he also grabs hold of the sculpture, bringing it close so he can do a side-by-side comparison. 

“You’re right, it is identical. How did you even manage that?” He says, awe in his voice. “Have you ever used it on yours–” 

Namjoon loses his train of thought as he takes in the sight of Taehyung, laying in bed completely naked, pumping himself at a leisurely pace and looking very unimpressed. 

“No, I haven’t. But if you don’t get into bed in the next 5 seconds I just might consider it.”

Namjoon doesn’t have to be told twice.