#no wonder he wasn’t getting that much proper work done in s4

[bloopdydooooo]

jon sims literally cannot access a lot of the internet cause he gets to the ‘i am human’ button and starts sobbing

[sheisjoeschateau]

"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | PART III

⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: mega plot-driven smut ahead in this part of the story. you've been warned. MINORS, DNI. 18+

***

Despite everything, you and Steve both get through battling Vecna. You both grin and bear it. You both set aside your differences when the moment calls for it.

Just like you have before. Many times.

And in the midst of it all, you can't help but wonder about your uncle. How he's doing. If he's somewhere in his bunker still, hopefully drinking less (ideally, not at all) and keeping up his phone calls with Joyce. You'd told her to keep tabs on him, and you also told your uncle to keep tabs on her. They needed each other. You had the kids and the teens, but they needed each other. And sure, your uncle has you. Always. But you have to work, and babysit, and hang around a guy who hates your guts because the circumstances won't permit otherwise.

Eddie and Robin really stick up for you. They do. They really like you. Steve can’t stand it.

Even Nancy doesn’t mind you. Honestly, she’s scared of you more than anything. Steve doesn’t care.

The kids love you. Steve won’t make them hate you. He never would. But he won’t endorse their kind sentiments about you either.

More groups are formed, along with more plans. Scary, life-threatening plans.

You stay behind with Dustin and Eddie, knowing that Steve is quietly a basket case over the concept leaving Dustin alone without having him there to protect him from all this shit, the way he has before. With the demodogs, the Russians, and everything up to this point. That kid is his brother. His son.

It’s the only time that Steve tells you thank you.

And he sincerely means it.

By the grace of some unspeakable force, you manage to not only keep Dustin alive...but also Eddie. The bats have done their damage, and you've got some damage yourself. Though not nearly as bad as Eddie. You can withstand yours with adrenaline and the sheer need to protect one of your kids and get this metalhead back to the real world so that he can get proper medical attention.

When Steve and the girls all get back to the three of you there, after all the shit hits the fan - you, Steve, Nancy, Robin and Dustin all manage to get Eddie back across the gate and get him majorly patched up. Thanks to Dr. Owens.

You keep Eddie hidden at Murray's bunker. You're shocked to find it empty, your worry growing more every single minute. But Steve tries to assure you that your uncle is likely fine, probably just out to eat or something. However... even he knows that is not true. Murray does not go anywhere.

"Bauman," he's saying to you, softly. So softly. Softer than he's ever spoken to you once. "He's gonna be okay. I promise. We're here, alright?"

Two days later, Jonathan and his Cali crew all show up. Nancy and him are reunited.

And you watch Steve break.

He doesn’t let it show, not really. But you see it. Both you and Robin do. You let her comfort him. He needs his best friend, much more than he needs you. Especially in this situation. You are undoubtedly the last source of comfort for him in this specific instance.

You reunite with your Uncle Murray, who has returned with Joyce and — to your surprise — a very much alive Hopper.  It’s a beautiful reunion, as you all hug tightly. 

You all fucking lived, bitch.

Given the new flurry of debris-snow-shit in the air, you all end up having to take shelter.

Steve volunteers his house, given that his parents fled to their vacation home and he told them he wasn’t going. They ditch him, so he has the house all to himself. This time, he doesn’t have to be alone though.  He has his real family.

You all move into the Harrington House. Lord knows it’s big enough. But it’s also really tight, for two people who can’t stand each other unless there’s a really ugly monster guy waltzing around that needs to be killed along with his multi-species army of little uglies.

Given the close quarters, on top of the fact that you all can’t leave the house much unless it’s for supplies, you and Steve have no choice but to coexist.

He still resents you, especially seeing Nancy and Jonathan are now getting along again and seem to be doing better. But it's much more subdued now, and you both find a way to talk. Which happens mainly because of you, initiating.

You learn more about Steve's home life, given the pictures everywhere throughout the house. They're all pretty stiff, lacking warmth. You figured that Steve was a pretty lonely trust fund baby, and being that you're a lonely child you can relate to the loneliness that comes with that. Not the trust fund part. Just the only-child-syndrome part, which you know perfectly well forces you to either become very well acquainted with yourself...or hate yourself even more. Steve clearing did not lean into becoming his own source of reliability and companionship, the way that you did. And it made you understand him better. It made you understand why he needed to be around the likes of Carol and Tommy H. He did not know how to be alone with himself.

"I think my dad and I don't even like the same beer," Steve scoffs, allowing himself a humorless chuckle. You don't laugh with him, instead giving him a soft look. An apology with your eyes.

"And my mom, she just...I dunno. Sometimes, I wonder why she never left him."

You let Steve reveal as little or as much as he wants to. It just depends on the day.

The two of you watch out for the kids. You both go with them to visit Max in the hospital. You even initiate finding a way to get her to stay there while in a coma, thanks to enlisting the help of your uncle to help enlist the help of Dr. Owens. The kids love you for that.

Steve doesn’t love you… But he appreciates you.

A lot. He's beginning to find appreciation for you, for a lot of things.

Your uncle clocks the very niche tension between the two of you, now that you’re all under the same roof and he’s given no choice but to.

And damn, it makes him curious. He is, after all, the witch doctor of love…

Nevertheless, Murray takes his time choosing when to strike.

As you and Steve both help nurse Eddie back to health, and read to Max in her coma (which leads to both of you just simply talking), and make the kids laugh together, and even make conversation with Nancy and Jonathan (…it’s very double date ish) Murray watches his niece — and mannnnnn, is he amuuuuuused.

One night, you and Steve stay up to share some drinks with the adults. It’s the first time that the two of you actually make each other really laugh, heartily. The drinks help.

That’s sort of Murray’s plan. Vodka is, after all, the holy grail.

Even Eddie joins, along with Robin. But Steve sits next to you. Not his best friend, or the new friend he’s made in the metalhead. Nope, he sits his perfect, hunky ass that makes all the ladies drool right next to little ole you.

And damn, do you both laugh.

Murray’s never seen you laugh that hard with anyone in his life. He wonders if you’ve ever laughed that way at all. 

And the way that Harrington looks at you?  Especially when you’re not looking… Holy shit. 

And the way you look at him the same way... makes Murray grin ear to ear like a mischievous kid with the plan to wreak havoc.

Hopper and Joyce are so settled into their relationship, and Jonathan seems to be winning back the love of Nancy. Eddie and Robin are so single it hurts, but it's legendary too. And you? Steve? Well, you guys are mortal enemies. And yet somehow, sitting here in the Harrington's living room with glasses of chilled vodka, belly-laughing over anything -- you and Steve exude more chemistry than all of them combined.

So when everyone goes to bed, and Murray catches you alone, he grills you. Not like the others. Nah, you’re family. He’ll cut you some slack.

…not much, though.

It sobers you right up.

"Do not tell me for one second that you don't think he's gorgeous," your uncle is saying in a low voice. You're both standing in his bedroom, having fetched him a tall glass of water which turned out just be a way to fucking lure you into his witchdoctor trap.

"I love you Uncle Murray. I really do. But this theory? -- is not one of your other bullseye's."

"Face it, kiddo," your uncle is smirking. "Your uncle's never wrong. You're just never the one on the other end of his lectures when he's making astute observations. You're always contributing to it. But this time? You're the leading lady, darling."

"False."

"You like Steve."

"Murray...!"

"You like Steve..."

You try to tell your uncle that everything he is saying is nonsense. Steve hates you. He absolutely hates you. Loathes and despises you, and plans to do so until you’re all particles of dust. 

“Plus, he is so fucking annoying and whiny and entitled and has zero self respect unless it’s up against someone who calls him out for his shit,” you tell your uncle, gesturing to yourself on the last part. “Steve Harrington is a cocky guy who would just rather suffer in his own misery than ever see or lean into being this...this incredible man that he's...capable of being, the role model he has become to those kids, who love him, they love the human most deserving of being put first —”

.................

…oh fuck.

The silence is deafening. Murray’s smirk and all-knowing glare only adds to your being aware of what you just said to him, and admitted to yourself, out loud.

“Oh…oh so we do love Steve.”

Your uncle’s words are the cherry on top of the cake you just baked, and didn’t know you had the ingredients to make.

You don’t sleep that night.

***

The next morning, you and Steve both sit with Max.

"Wondering what she wrote in yours?"

Steve is nodding at the stack of letters on the bedside table. You all left them there, promising yourselves not to open them. Because she will wake up.

Lucas took it hard, Max dying. You'd been there to hold him, comfort him, along with Steve. You both watched him burst into tears numerous times, sometimes sobbing uncontrollably, despite the fact that she was somehow still here. It broke both your hearts, but you both got through it with him. Together.

And while the other kids were taking it hard too...so fucking hard...it was Steve who carried the most guilt. Remorse, anguish and guilt.

"I failed my kid," Steve had told you at the hospital once. You looked at him with a furrowed brow and concerned eyes.

"Steve, no you didn't."

His voice shook, eyes drowning in nightmarish thoughts. "I wasn't there for her. I wasn't -- wasn't..."

"You could never fail those kids. Not even if you tried."

He didn't believe you. But he wanted to. You had squeezed his hand that day, sitting in the waiting room. And to your surprise, not only did he let you...but he squeezed it back, letting your hands rest that way for an hour as you fell asleep in the seats before being woken up.

And now, sitting in one of his guest rooms while Max lay asleep in the coma still, you can see that guilt in him is spreading.

Steve is holding the letter that she gave to him, and you ask him if he’s wanting to read it.

Steve snorts. "God, you kidding? She'll wake up just to kill me before going right back to sleep."

You smirk, biting back a real laugh. “True.”

But Steve looks conflicted. He fiddles with the letter in his hands, wanting to tear it open. You know that he does.

“…want me to read it out loud to you instead? She can kill me in your place.”

Steve chuckles at that.

...but he doesn’t say no.

In fact, after biting his lip for a minute and thinking, he finds himself nodding. Yes. Please, read it to me, he’s thinking.

So you do.

You take the letter and read it to him. You read him the words that only a little sister could write to a big brother who she loves and wishes she will grow up to be like. You read him words that make him light up like a Christmas tree, yet cause him a painful ache deep within his bones. You read him a letter of love that no one ever took the time to write, let alone express, to him his entire life.

Steve fights tears. He bites them back, successfully. You’re the last person he ever wants to see him vulnerable. Hell, he can’t even see himself like that without judging his own self harshly. He can only imagine that you will, too.

He doesn’t know, though, that not only would you never judge him for that. But selfishly, you wish he would feel safe with you. Or God, someone at least. Just not Nancy.  Someone who deserves him wholeheartedly.

"Steve," you speak softly.

He's staring into space, zoned out. But then, he finally looks over at you. He sees the kindness in him, and it almost takes his breath away. The way that you look at him...he just never thought you could...that you could --

"You're all of these things. Everything she wrote in this? You're all of it. And then some. You're the hero all those kids dream of being when they grow up. You're their favorite person. The one they trust, go to for everything. Even if you don't think that they do, they do."

He listens, unable to move. Speak. Breathe.

"You are...a great person, Steve Harrington."

***

That night, there’s a knock on your door. You’ve been given the guest room upstairs with no bunk mate. Unlike most of the people in the house. But given that Joyce and Hopper are together now, and El sleeps in Max’s room to keep watch, the four younger boys share a room with Eddie, Nancy is with Jonathan, Erica sleeps at her own house and Robin shares Steve’s room since she splits her time here and at home — you and Murray got the solo rooms.

Steve is now grateful for those sleeping arrangements tonight.

Because when you open the door, he’s on the other side. He looks sad, conflicted and lost. Like his mind is racing at a million miles an hour, yet can’t think of anything to say. He’s tongue tied, just staring at you expectantly…

What is he expecting?

“What’s wrong?” you ask. “Is it Max?”

Something about your question makes Steve brows pinch together. Like it’s suddenly confusing him even more. But he doesn’t speak.

You wait patiently. But truth be told, you are anxious as fuck. Because damn, he’s pretty. He is so stupid pretty. And fuck it’s annoying. His lips are just the right shape in a pout, and it’s really fucking annoy —

His lips are crashing into yours before you can even finish dissecting them.

Steve is kissing you like life depends on it. Gentle at first, but eager. Determined.

And when you both pulls back -- you don’t hesitate for more than a solid 2-3 seconds, your eyes shocked while his eyes silently ask, is this okay?

Your lips crashing back against his answers — yes.

Steve is a hurricane of both madness and all things serene in the ways that he touches your body. He explores your skin with his lips and hands, as if he has all the time in the world. The curve of your jaw and neck. The jut of your collarbones. The feel of your clavicle, which leads him to the shape of your tits and nipples. He cherishes your body, hungrily exploring it. It’s heated, hot and heavy. He licks a stripe down your abdomen to the waistband of your sweatpants. The way his brown irises look up at you, all round and doe eyed, makes the back of your throat groan with need. It’s not loud or brash, nor is it strained and quiet. It’s soft but certain. Steve melts at it, his fingers curling one by one around the band of your sweatpants, his eyes still asking — please?

You’re nodding without even having to hear a word out of him. And Steve pulls.

Euphoria is the feeling of Steve’s tongue exploring your folds. It’s the sound of him sighing into your portal in pure pleasure, and the way he sucks your clit with fervency yet flicks it with supple patience. His hands knead into your thighs, one of them reaching to squeeze your hips so that he can pull himself up to you and let you taste yourself on his tongue. He wraps an arm underneath your waist, hooking you to him, asking in the breathiest of whimpers, “Please let me, angel.”

He’s getting a fistful of your hair into one of his big hands, adoring the way that you squeak a yelp. You suck on his tongue, hard, and it’s enough to drive him mad. He pins himself against you, grinding. But you sit up, keeping your bodies glued together and now using your teeth to tug on his lip and paralyze him in pure ecstasy. You take the opportunity to slide your teeth and tongue down his jaw and neck, trailing pecks and kisses along the way, and the throaty whimper he lets out makes you see stars behind your hooded eyes as you drag your tongue down his chest. The wet stripe you’re leaving glides down to his toned abdomen’s bunny trail, and as you curl your fingers around his sweatpants, you pause… letting your lips press the most fluttery of kisses to each of his scars.

Steve can’t help the shudders, sighs and whimpers that escape his lips, along with your name. It’s raw, uncensored.  He clutches your hand, which you extend up to him in a greedy grab as you slowly work his pants down with your other hand. You hook your fingers onto his chin, forcing him to let go of your hand in his and look down at you. He does, and it’s game over. You watch him and never break eye contact as you use both hands to push down his briefs…

…and thank God for that — because otherwise, you would see just what you’re up against as far as pleasuring him goes.

You feel the tip of his hard length tap your chin, and you scoot farther down into the mattress — on your knees like a perfect angel. Your tongue plays with its head, tasting the tang of his pre-cum, and Steve is shaking so hard he can’t stand it. He clenches his jaw, gritting out blissful curses through his teeth. “Fuck, baby, fuck.”

You take in the intense length of him, pleasuring him until he is touching the back of your throat and nearly gagging you senseless, and the mess he is up above you — it sends your mind into a tailspin. He has never looked so pretty, eyes squeezed shut except when he’s glancing back down at you with more fondness and adoration than you ever thought possible from not only a man who hates you…but any man at all.

And when Steve is just about to cum, he begins to beg. “P-please. Wait, please.”

His hands urgently cup your jaw, forcing you to look back up at him and cease your sickeningly perfect work. He pulls, and you follow. He drinks you in with his gaze, staring into your soul, as if he’s trying to figure you out. He stares and stares, his thumbs stroking your cheeks, his brown eyes searching yours like you are the most beautiful mystery he has ever needed to solve. He looks as though he might ask you something. Say something...

But he dives in to kiss you again before he lets himself.

His hand wraps around the bend of one of your knees, tugging it up so that he can hook your leg around his waist. Then he does it to the other. And before you know it, you’re straddling him.

“Fuck, Bauman, please,” Steve Harrington groans into your mouth. Then softer, murmuring against your lips as he kisses them endlessly, “please let me, please.”

And you know what he is asking. You know what he wants. You don’t have to even think twice. Lifting yourself up, lining him with your entrance, he stretches you out and the euphoric sting of it sucks the air right out of you. And Steve.

Steve is winded by the feeling of how tight your walls are, and by just how right it feels to be inside of you. You both fit. Like a perfect match.

At this point, you’re both a frenzy of fucking. You ride him – slow, hard, fast, all of it. Steve keens into your mouth, then your neck as he buries his face there — completely overwhelmed. You hold his head there, comfortingly and securely, and so fucking perfectly as your fingers tug at the ends of his perfect hair.

“I’ve got you, baby,” your voice shakes in a breathy whisper, just for him. “Let it all go.”

And Steve does. His fingers dig into the curve of your back, pulling you impossibly closer to him as he presses the loud growl of his climax into your bare shoulder. He releases himself into you, hot and loaded, and you drip just as much onto him as he just shot into you.

As if that wasn’t enough to send you reeling — enough to make you see angels and devils and god — it’s the way that Steve shudders against you, catching his breath…and then pulls back to look at you…that renders you speechless.

His hairline leaks sweat, his face beaded with it. His eyelids are hooded, the dark brown irises dazed and daring to meet your gaze. His lips are parted perfectly — and the way he looks up at you with his tousled hair, somehow still perfect after it’s been pulled and messed with, is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Steve Harrington is so fucking beautiful.  He’s an all-American boy, yet a Greek god.

The way that Steve gently brings your forehead to his, breathing against you, closing his eyes at the contact — you find yourself timidly nuzzling the tip of your nose to his. And you feel him smile against you, opening your eyes just enough to steal a peek — and that’s when you feel a deep ache in your heart and soul that might as well kill you.

Because now you realize. That is love. 

Steve is love.

But you let it die inside of you tonight, not wanting to make this moment end any sooner than it has to. Instead, you let Steve entangle his limbs with yours, not daring to ask if he wants to stay. Because if you do, he’ll likely leave. He’ll realize that being in bed with you is the last place that he wants to be, and that he’s made a mistake. He’ll go back to hating you, more than he already does, and it will be the death of you. So instead, you just let it ride out however it’s supposed to.

You try not to count the minutes as Steve absentmindedly traces circles with his fingertips on your skin. Your hip bones, your shoulder blades, your spine. You tell yourself to forget that time and its limits exist as you stroke the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck, your temple against his forearm, his outer arm draped over you. You tell yourself that this is it. This is heaven. This is eternity. You tell yourself even if you wake up and it’s just a dream, you’ll remember it for as long as you live. Because on the other side of death is this, and it will never end.

You let that ease your mind as he presses his lips to your forehead and you no longer fight sleep.

So when you do wake up…and find that Steve is still there…you’re shocked. But you stay that way until he wakes. He looks at you in awestruck wonder. Not confusion or regret. Just…wonder.

He props himself up on an elbow, still looking at you, deep in thought. All you can do is stare back, wishing you knew what the hell he was thinking but not daring to ask. It wasn’t worth risking this.  You stay that way for a little while.

He finally breathes a sigh, whispering, “Kids will be up soon.”

You give him a soft smile and gentle nod. You can already see Dustin waking up to go knock down Steve’s door, and that’s…not gonna end well if he finds out that Steve is walking out of your room instead.

Steve contemplates god-knows-what for another long moment before pressing a quick kiss into your hairline as he rises.

You watch him stand and dress himself, your heart throbbing at the way he looks in the early morning light streaming through the windows. His body is god-like. Tall, lean and athletic. His skin has the most beautiful constellation of moles that put the entire galaxy of stars to shame. And you ache at the thought of never being able to touch them again.

He gives you a soft grin after he throws his t-shirt back on, and before you know it he’s gone.

You lay there staring at nothing, feeling yourself leak a couple of silent tears and wondering why. You find yourself afraid to get up and face whatever new reality lies ahead of you on the other side of that door. 

***

thanks for reading :) comment to be added to my tag list for this series.

tags: @erastourvip @xprloki @get0ut0fmyr00m @eddiemuns0nl0ver @marrowfrog00

[theshelbyclan]

The Young Nurse

Summary: When it turns out Finn is more ill than anyone suspected, you don’t know what to do, apart from being practical about it and taking care of him

(Gif by @nofckingfighting​) A/N: The amazing @staygold-bebold​ send me her first request and I’m SO honoured: Hellooo there :) This is my first fic request *smiles shyly* I have this idea in my head for a while now... How about sick!Finn with reader taking care of him? I'm hoping for it to take place between seasons 2 and 3, so he is still soft. (before blinding the Changretta man in s4) Bonus if there can be an innocent cuddle in it! 😊 I love love love the way you portrayed Finn in your fics and how you never write too mushy fics even with fluff in it. Hope this is ok!You are such a wholesome sweetheart, I love this idea. Hope I did it justice! Finn’s fourteen in this one (so season 2) and the reader is of a similar age. Words: 2537

*** “I don’t feel so good…” “What?” you’d asked, but before Finn could answer, he’d fallen down and passed out already. 

At first, you had to laugh and you could hear others do the same. Everyone was down at the Garrison to celebrate and Finn had been sneaking whiskey all night. Tommy kept on taking it off of him, but John allowed it. Like it was really his first time drinking whiskey anyways… You were working at the bar. Officially, you were too young for the job, but your mother worked there and you occasionally helped out. Being only fourteen, you did work at the Garrison, but only during daytime, to clean. This is how you and Finn had met and he used to sit with you while you worked, watching and talking. He was a different boy away from his family. You never really talked much, it just wasn’t in your nature. But you could observe and deduce things that others failed to notice. For example, Finn was different with John. He was careful around Arthur, because he was the one to usually tell him to piss off. This annoyed Finn, as he desperately wanted to be seen as a man. With Tommy he was acting tough, trying to prove something, but never quite succeeding. But with John, he was just the little brother. John let him ride horses, let him drink and talked and played around with him. In all honesty, it seemed like Finn could make John forget all he’d seen and done, and allowed him to be a boy once again. So, it was John who’d given him the whiskey. When Finn fell down, you all laughed. Tommy took him back home and sighed deeply, “I fucking told you, didn’t I? And now I’m having to waste my fucking time on you, eh?” You’d seen many men fall down for the drink, but something didn’t feel right. Frowning but not speaking, you decided to keep an eye on your friend. ***

The next day, you went to Polly’s. She told you Finn was still in bed and that you couldn’t see him right now. “What’s wrong with him?” “Finn’s having his first ever hangover!” John called from the kitchen, grinning broadly. But Polly’s face showed some worry, “He’s puking his guts out, that’s for sure, and he can’t hold down any water. It’s the shortness of breath that’s worrying…” “Is he still drinking?” you asked at once. “What do you want with him?” John inquired, “Sit by his bed and hold his hand?” “Just wanted to see if he needs anything…” you mumbled. “Like his girlfriend maybe,” Arthur growled deeply. “I’m not his girlfriend!” you replied indignantly, but immediately you looked down again to hide your blushing. You’d never talked back to any other Shelby than Finn and it scared you. “Leave her alone, Arthur,” Tommy spoke from the shadows, “She’s a good girl, Y/N, sensible. She won’t do anything that isn’t proper or right, eh?” “Y/N,” Polly saved you, “Come back tomorrow. He needs to rest now.” And so you came back the next day, and the next, and the next, always being denied entrance into Finn’s bedroom. His chest pains had gotten worse and he had real trouble breathing now. You were tired of waiting. At home, you had started pacing for fear of the unknown. “What’s the matter with you?” your mother challenged, “You’re never like this. You’re supposed to be the calm one, I’m the agitated and loud one.” She was right. Sometimes you wondered if you and your mother were even related, because you couldn’t be more different. She worked at the bar, talking easily to all men and flirting always. You liked to hide in a corner and passed unnoticed. Your mother preferred the company during work, while you enjoyed the work in silence. Everyone knew your mother, but few even knew she had a kid. Your mother always complained how you were too boring, too practical, too silent, while you just whished for a mother to take care of you, not the other way around… All of this played out in your head, but you didn’t say a word. Then one night, it became too much to bear and you decided to do the bravest thing you had ever done in your short life. Silently, you crept out of your own bed and put on some clothes. While you were making your way out of the house, you saw your own reflection in the mirror, and you faltered. Strictly you said to yourself, “Y/N, stop being a baby. Do you want to go on the rest of your life not mattering to anyone? Finn needs you. Now man up, and go!” So you breathed in deeply and slipped out the front door. That was the easy part done, but now came the difficult part. Standing in front of the Shelby home, you cursed your own sudden courage but decided there was no going back now. Clattering up the drainpipe, you reached the roof of the houses at Watery Lane. Like a cat, without making a sound, you crawled towards the room in which Finn usually slept. Peering in, you saw he was alone: a stroke of luck. Getting the window to open was a lot easier than you’d feared. But what to do now that you were inside? You didn’t have much time to think it over, because Finn suddenly woke up and opened his eyes. “Y/N? What are you doing here?” You blushed again, “I wanted to see you,” you whispered. “How did you get in?” he said in a hushed voice. “I climbed the roof and came in through the window.” “Does Aunt Pol know?” “Obviously not, if I climbed the roof, silly!” you hissed. Finn frowned, “Is this a dream? It’s a dream, isn’t it… I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately…” You quickly walked over to his bed and knelt down next to it, “I’m really here Finn.” “You climbed the roof,” Finn raised his eyebrows, “Y/N would never climb a roof. Without permission from Aunt Pol. In the middle of the night.” “Well, I did.” “In my dream you did.” “Finn!” you said, a little louder than anticipated, “It’s not a dream!” And you pinched him, “See?” “Ow!” he called out, “That hurt…” He actually looked a little betrayed and hurt, so you had difficulty in stopping yourself from laughing. You managed to hide it though, by taking a cloth from a washing basin and dabbing his head with it. He was burning up and worry took a hold of you. “Y/N?” Finn asked, “What are you doing?” “Taking care of you,” you said matter-of-factly. “Why?” “Well, I can’t imagine your brothers are doing much to help you,” annoyance slipped into your tone. “John’s scared,” Finn said softly, “We lost Martha and he doesn’t like people being ill after that. Tommy thinks it’s just the whiskey, maybe they all do. Arthur was never great with… anything really.” “What about Pol?” you asked, while taking his pulse with two fingers. Finn shrugged a little, “She’s got Michael now.” Full of sympathy, you looked at him. “I’m glad you’re here,” he smiled, “Got bored.” “Your pulse is fast,” you commented, “Have you been drinking enough?” But the two of you were rudely interrupted by someone barging into the room. Polly’s eyebrows rose, she looked like she was about to start yelling, but then motioned for you to follow her. Without a second thought, you obeyed. “Care to tell me what’s been going on?” she demanded once you were downstairs. You were officially scared of her, but answered, “He needs someone to look after him.” “Does he now?” “He’s seriously ill, Polly,” you said, but quickly followed it with, “Sorry, Miss Gray…” And for the second time, Tommy emerged from the shadows, “No need to stand on formal ceremony. How did you get into my house?” “Roof,” you practically trembled. “Jesus Christ…” Polly sighed, “Young love, that’s all we need…” “It’s not about that!” you called out, “He’s actually ailing! And he’s still vomiting after three days, he’s dehydrated, has difficulty breathing, a seriously high fever and his pulse is too fast. I don’t think it’s the whiskey, Mr. Shelby.”

“Not the whiskey, eh?” he slowly lit a cigarette, “Then what is your diagnosis?” “Influenza,” you said at once, “Saw my father die of it.” “And you checked his fever and pulse, you said?” Polly asked, in a much calmer voice now. “Yes, both elevated. He needs medicine,” you said in a practical manner, “I can see if I can get any Ginseng or elderberry, but I can’t get a hold of any other drugs.” “Surely it’s not that serious…” Polly objected. “It is,” you interrupted her, “he needs medicine fast and he needs fluids. He seems fine, but tonight might be critical.”

“Tell me, Y/N, how do you know all of this,” Tommy asked softly, seemingly unaffected by all of this. Again, you blushed, “I want to be a nurse.” “Makes sense,” Polly smirked a little. “I mean, I would like to…” you stumbled, “Can’t, but, I still want to help people…” Tommy understood at once, “If you can save Finn tonight, I’ll pay for your schooling. Now, tell me what I need to get.” Polly turned around and looked at her nephew with big eyes, asking, but not speaking out loud. He did reply however, “Y/N’s the most sensible person I know and she’s only fourteen, Pol. We’re not losing Finn. Let her take care of him.” For a moment, it looked like Polly was about to argue with him again, but then she closed her mouth. After a few seconds of silence, she asked, “What can I do?” “Do you have any green tea?” you grew shy at ordering a woman like Polly Gray about, “Green tea would be good for him…” “Tea,” she repeated and stood up to make some, “Anything else?” “Maybe you could send someone to my mother’s house, because I know she has the elderberry and Ginseng I mentioned.” “I’ll send John,” Tommy nodded and he told you, “Go sit with Finn. Let us know if anything changes.” Suddenly feeling numb, you walked up the stairs again. It was like this little conversation had only just made clear to you in how much danger Finn actually was. And it scared you, because Finn really was your only friend and you needed him. Sitting by his bed, he had lost consciousness again. It was as you had said: this night would be critical. Whenever he did wake a little, you tried pouring some of the green tea into him and luckily he kept it down. Still, his pulse was racing and his fever was blazing. Waiting and praying, you had no idea that downstairs Polly was doing the exact same thing. The next day went by uneventful. It seemed impossible to get him to drink enough, but you never stopped trying, mixing different drugs in with the liquids and teas, hoping it would be enough to save him. Every two hours or so, Tommy came walking up the stairs and when he came into the room, he only asked one question: “Has the danger passed?” You had to keep on disappointing him over and over. When Finn was awake, he ailed. ‘Awake’ was too liberal a term anyways, because you could no longer talk to him and his eyes wouldn’t focus. Sometimes he’d ask for you and when you talked to him and he recognised you voice, he became calm again and drifted off to sleep. “Y/N?” he once asked, “When I die, where will I go?” “Heaven, I suppose…” you muttered, “But you’re not dying, Finn, I won’t allow it. Now, drink this and rest.” “What do you mean, you won’t allow it?” “You’re young and you still have things to do!” you called out. “Like what?” he muttered, “Business? My brothers all think I’m just a kid… useless…” Angrily, you threw the wet cloth on his head again, “Well, I’d miss you. I need someone to talk to while I’m working and that’s you. Now, stop talking about dying.” “Okay,” he whispered, and drifted off again.

Another few hours passed and he wasn’t awake much. Was his fever going down, or were you just imagining it? Maybe it was wishful thinking…

The next time Finn woke up, he was complaining, “I’m cold. Is it cold? Because I’m really cold…”

And the concern was right back, because he was actually sleeping under five blankets already and even though it was Birmingham, it was in fact summer.

“Y/N,” he whined, “I’m really cold…”

“Sweetheart, I don’t know what else to do. Do you want some more tea?”

“That doesn’t help.”

So you decided quickly, “Okay, move. I’m going in.”

His eyes opened a little more in surprise, “In?”

“In the bed,” you clarified, “don’t get excited. I’m warm, boiling actually because of the fire, and I can warm you.”

So here you were, in bed with Finn Shelby. And for the first time, you felt your own pulse quickening.

Of course this was the moment that Tommy chose to check up on Finn again, taking half his family with him. They just stood there and stared.

“He was cold,” you explained meekly.

“Right,” Tommy said, smoking quietly.

“How is he?” Polly asked.

It’d been a few hours since you last checked and when you felt for his pulse, it appeared to have slowed down a little. Also, his head wasn’t feeling as hot as it had been before. He hadn’t vomited for a few hours now and when you looked at him, you saw he was wide awake, with a small smile of satisfaction playing around his lips.

“He doesn’t look unhappy,” John ventured.

“He has no bloody reason to be unhappy,” Arthur added with a grin.

“Tell me,” Tommy said simply.

And you sighed a sigh of relief, “The danger had passed.”

“Better thank your girlfriend, Finn!” John practically cheered.

“I’m not…” you sighed, but you didn’t have the energy to finish that sentence.

“Leave them be,” Polly said in a soft voice, “they both need to rest now.”

“I wouldn’t rest much with my girlfriend in bed…” John continued teasing.

You ground out, for what felt like the 20

th

time, “Not. His. Girlfriend.”

Finally, everyone left, which took some force on Polly’s part. You looked at Finn and noticed he was getting a bit of colour back into his cheeks already. He’d even complained about being hungry, which was surely a good sign.

“Y/N?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said softly, “what is it?”

“I have a question,” he tried to sit up, but you wouldn’t let him, “Thank you for taking care of me, but why?”

“You’re my friend,” you stated simply.

He shook his head, “No.”

“No?”

He didn’t respond for a while, but then repeated, “Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Just ignore my brothers and whatever they’re saying.”

“They’re wrong,” you smiled, “They don’t even know us.”

“They don’t,” he confirmed and then he was silent for a few moments, fidgeting with the buttons of his pyjama’s.

“Y/N?”

“Finn?”

“I don’t want them to be wrong…”

“What do you mean?” you furrowed your brow while he stared at you with an expectant look.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

***

Masterlist

[your-eyes-can-be-so-cruell]

I’m so excited they’re almost done with filming the show and we’ll likely get it in Q4. So before we get any Johnny/Carmen spoilers in the promos, what are your headcanons for their relationship?

I’m also totally banking on a Valentines Day episode - what are your speculations for that?

Hiya! so here it is, it’s gonna be long! I have so many thoughts/wishes/headcannons on Johnny and Carmen. I can’t believe we’re getting two lots of CK in 2021 honestly how amazing! Ok so I kind of have two sections in my head at the moment, stuff for if they’re dating when the series starts and stuff for if they haven’t had the talk or decided to pause things.

If they are:

Johnny is gonna be blissed out of his mind. We saw how excited he was to go and tell her he loves her and especially considering he said he's not felt like that for a long time. I think he'll wanna be spending all his time with her.

They seem like they're gonna be a really naughty couple because we've had the dojo jokes and Carmen basically saying 'next time we can try something more advanced !!!' When she said that I almost fell off the chair. So I think Yaya is gonna have to invest in some ear plugs or join a social group or something lmao. Adding on to this I wonder if we'll get a situation where they're hiding things from Miguel and keep having to find secret times together? It would be a nice place to put a funny montage.

It’s a headcannon at the moment but I think Carmen does have some fighting abilities but she never told Miguel because she always saw violence as a bad thing. She thought that wasn't the way to deal with things but maybe with what Johnny’s done for Miguel she’ll start to think about that old side of herself. I also think she has a mischievous streak so I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned up to see Johnny in a gi one day and wanted a free lesson. Only for Johnny to try and show her some stuff and get flipped onto the mat. I want that dream to have been foreshadowing haha! Also even though she prefers to sort things out calmly Carmen would 100% threaten Kreese if she ever met him. CK hurt Miguel and I feel like Johnny would have trusted her enough by that point to reveal what Kreese did to him so she’d be pissed about that as well. I hope she tells him to stay away from her boys.

More Salsa dancing !!! Like imagine Johnny turns up to training one day and the kids are like 'omg sensei what happened to your arm it's all bandaged' and we get hints all episode it happened cause of something sexual, but it turns out him and Carmen decided to go salsa dancing again and he fell over a chair.

When Carmen is on a late shift at the hospital, Johnny meets her after work. I love how in the show they have this thing where they keep saying 'good night' to each other and it would be so cute if that changed to 'good morning' cause Johnny turns up to meet her every morning to say it and walk her home and he brings breakfast every time and makes the same lame joke that he 'made it himself' and Carmen laughs everytime.

Carmen loves Johnny’s body, but despite his general air of confidence he is a little insecure he doesn't look like the poster boy anymore. Carmen would think he's being ridiculous and tells him she prefers his mature look and lists the things she likes including his arms in the slutty gi. At the AVT Yaya pointed out how good Johnny looked in his gi and Carmen bit her lip when she saw him, especially his arms. When they're in a relationship she turns up at Miyagi-do to 'pick up Miguel' but really she's hoping to catch Johnny in his gi as he always changes before he comes over.

As we've seen unlike his dream he is more cautious and soft with Carmen in reality. He really follows her lead on things and basically spends a lot of time kissing her all over especially her neck and he loves her hair (have we talked about how beautiful her hair is?!) Carmen is more strike hard, no mercy. I like what you said that time about Carmen having her hands in his hair because I wanted that too! She would totally love pulling Johnny's hair and he would love it too!

I have this wish for there to be something that they bond over liking maybe a band or film they were both obsessed with. I know there is an age gap and they grew up in different countries but it would be great to see a new side of Carmen and funny for them to have this thing they nerd out together about.

I think Carmen would really want to include Robby in their lives and will try and help things. She gives Johnny some confidence to keep trying when a conversation with Robby doesn’t go well. Maybe she meets Robby by accident one time and they get to know each other and something she says makes Robby listen to his dad the next time he comes to see him. When things are better Carmen gently nudges Johnny to ask if Robby wants to come to dinner with them. He’s so nervous, but relieved when he says yes.

However, If they don't start s4 together:

There'd be yearning SO MUCH yearning. Johnny's come to this big realisation and now he can't be with her and it sucks because when he wasn't acknowledging these feelings it didn't matter, but now he knows how he feels about her it hurts so much. I want major sad eyes from both of them

I think their fears could get the better of them. Carmen because Miguel got injured again and she would want Johnny to concentrate on getting rid of CK and Johnny because he may freak out at the enormity of what he was about to do. He was riding that confident wave of realisation and because he was stopped in his tracks those fears have crept in and he's lost the courage.

Miguel doesn't realize why at first but he notices they're both sad. And they both keep asking him how the other one is doing. Johnny makes sure he always has fresh juice in his fridge just in case :(

Carmen see’s an advert for tickets to a classic rock tribute night and he’s the first thing she thinks of. She buys them but when it comes to asking him she gets nervous and says she bought them for Miguel and him. Miguel being the smart kid he is figures out what happened and when it comes to the evening says he’s ‘ill’ and tells his mum to go in his place. They pretend they’re going as friends even though they both know they’re not. It’s an amazing night. Next day Johnny turns up with a mixtape he’s made her and because she doesn’t have a cassette player to listen on he lets her borrow his old one that we saw in the show. Carmen lets Yaya listen and she points out that they’re all love songs- Maybe this could be the Valentines episode -sigh-

Which leads me onto the possibility of a Valentines Episode!

I so hope they’ll do this, it has the potential for some heart-warming as well as funny moments.

For Johnny and Carmen it depends on where they would be in the narrative. If like we discussed Johnny is busy training the kids and worrying about Robby they may have a situation where he forgets or is late to whatever they planned. If that’s the case I would hope Johnny makes up for it with some cute and unique Johnny gesture. Maybe Miguel will know and help by that point? Another thought I had is that Johnny takes it super seriously because this is his first proper relationship for a while and definitely the first in a long time where he’s been in love. So of course he tries and fails to use the internet again to get guidance and comes up with some really stupid evening that just isn’t him, and then at the last minute throws the idea out and does something more their style. However if they’re not together on Valentines day maybe that will be the episode they get together officially? And we’ll finally get that ILY.

Omg this was so long  and congrats if you got this far, but yeah thank you for asking me! I love talking about them and I’m desperate to see what they do with them next season.

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

[sasuhinasno1fan]

A promise to keep you safe- Lukadrien June Day 1

It’s here! My second @lukadrien-june​. I haven’t started s4 but just going off what I’ve heard others talk about, I don’t think I will. Instead I’ll just focus on my love for lukadrien which by this time last year had been a small growing love but is now my top ship of the whole show. Sorry Adrienette, just not really doing it for me anymore, but I still love you. Anyway, back to this month long event. This story was inspired by the k-drama, The Last Empress, which is basically about a normal girl who marries into the royal family. However, she finds out it was all a lie and that the royal family is corrupt and messed up and decides she’s going to bring them down. The head of security is an inside man also hoping to bring them down and the two get closer. We were robbed of them getting together in the show, but you can’t deny that’s where they were going, no matter how that show ended. I hope this doesn’t count as salt towards Gabriel, cause I can see him doing this and Audrey, well I needed a bad guy. Anyway, enjoy. Promise

Luka watched his sister pretty up the gift bag, trying not to think of the reason he had it in the first place. The royal family of France was, well, corrupt. It hadn’t always been like that, or maybe it had been but no one ever noticed because there were actual people who cared who spoke louder. To Luka, it was just the people he had to live ruling over his life. Then things changed.

He’d been on the Liberty about to sit down for a movie with his sister when they got a call no one ever wanted. Their mom, who’d been going to visit a friend had been hit in a hit and run and died. Having to go identify the body was one of the worst things in Luka’s life. The funeral, the Viking send-off she wanted (a safe version), the fear that they’d lose the Liberty and each other had it not been for an anonymous donation for the boat to stay with them and to help with Luka’s emancipation and getting custody of his sister.

During all this, he’d gotten a letter with an SD card. The card had a video, a traffic cam. It showed his mother walking back home when a black SUV suddenly came and ran into her. He watched the driver get out and look annoyed as he nudged Anarka with his foot. That driver was the King. The letter stated that the King’s engagement was used as an alibi to keep him clean and his car had seemingly vanished. If he wanted to help take the corrupt monarchy down, he needed to work at the castle. The only open position was part of the royal Imperial Guard. He’d promised his mom back when he was in lycée, he’d stay out of fights, but he hoped she’d forgive this just once. With a friend’s help, he created a fake identity, knowing the name Couffaine would raise flags with the King, passed the written exam and had been the only person still standing in the physical. He told Juleka to say he’d gone traveling to deal with their mother’s death and stay with her girlfriend if she thought it safe. He’d entered the palace, not knowing how things would go or even who to look for when it came to joining to bring the monarchy down.

Imagine his surprise when it turned out the Crown Prince was the one who sent him the letter.

“Why are you doing this?” Luka had growled, holding Prince Adrien by his collar in the unused wing of the castle he’d been asked to come to.

“Because it doesn’t matter who my father is, he deserves to be punished. I wish I could say he hasn’t always been like this but I know he has. Isn’t it strange that the Crown Prince almost never leaves the castle and neither did my mother after marrying my father?  My father has always been like this. My mother tried to bring him down and she’s dead. I’m not going to stop until I finish what she started.”

So he agreed to help, but he was cautious. For all he knew, the Prince would turn against him. He had quite the team already. Marinette, his personal assistant, whose grandfather had his heirlooms stolen by the King after refusing to sell them. Alya and Nino, Adrien’s PR team. Alya’s younger twin sisters and Nino’s younger brother all had rare blood types and needed a surgery for a simple procedure. Said blood type was also shared with the King and after an accident he had, the blood had been ripped from the kids. The children had gotten sicker and now stayed at the hospital waiting for another shipment. Chloe, who was the daughter of the King’s newest wife, had been insulted beyond believe by the King and treated like dirt. And now him, a person’s who mother was taken too early and the King wouldn’t take reasonability.

It became clear very quickly that the Prince, that Adrien meant what he said. He was good at pretending to be the prefect prince and obedient son, but he’d been collecting seeds and releasing them too slowly. First with the announcement of Duke Felix, nephew to the King was actually his illegitimate son. Then starting to release the questions of what happened to the Queen, starting with leaving clues to her real body.

He could see that doing all this was taking a toll on Adrien. The public was getting distressed and people wanted to point fingers. Luka wanted to help but instead Adrien wanted to focus on getting more information about Anarka’s death. The cover up, the moving of her body to be found else were, finding the missing car, finding out Nathalie’s whole involvement in all this. It started to boil up emotionally for Luka and after nearly taking care of the King himself, he left the castle and sat in front of his mother’s grave for hours before Adrien found him there.

“It’d be so easy to kill him, to make him pay.” Luka said, still holding onto his anger.

“It would be, but I don’t think your mother would want that.”

Luka remembered the anger just releasing at the thought of what his mother would tell him if he’d been closer to killing the King. “My mom was this wild chaos driven person. She came from a proper family and hated it. So when she got older, she went her own way. She raised us with such trust that we knew hiding things from her wouldn’t help us and we never wanted to disappoint her. I used to get into so much trouble with fighting. I guess my empathic ways really had a hard time dealing with everything and I would lash out. She was the one who encouraged me to use my music to speak, not my fists. I was never this weird person or uncontrollable child. I was her kid and she loved me and she didn’t deserve this.” He stared at her headstone. “She hated the cold.”

He hadn’t been expecting Adrien to take his scarf off, exposing his neck to the cold fall weather and wrap it around the headstone as best he could.

“I don’t know if this is enough, but I hope it helps. I’ll keep him from going too far, I promise. We’ll avenge you so you can rest easy knowing your kids are safe.” Adrien promised out loud.

If Luka hadn’t known it then, he knew it now. Prince Adrien Agreste was a kind person, nothing like his father and if the monarchy was ever to continue, would be France’s greatest ruler. He took so much on his shoulders and never said a word about it. So Luka promised himself he’d do whatever it took to lighten the load. Which lead him to now. It was a small thing, but he got his sister to pretty up the bag with a new scarf in it for Adrien.

“All done.” Juleka said, pushing the bag to her brother. “You know, I saw the scarf on Mom’s headstone. Rose said the scarf is actually pretty expensive.”

“I don’t think he cares about that.”

“No, I guess not.” Luka knew his sister worried about what he was doing but with the soft look on her face, he had a feeling she knew he was safe. “I think Mom would have liked him. She would have totally adopted him.”

Luka smiled to himself at the thought of his mom attacking the King just to protect Adrien. “Yeah, she would. I better go. Be safe, ok? Let me know what Rose’s parents say about you going with her to Achu.”

“I will as long as you stay safe too.”

“I promise.”

                                                       _____________

Adrien stretched out his neck. Being ordered by his step-mother to organize the annual bazar was weird. Usually the Queen would take care of organizing it but somehow Audrey ended up convince his father that Adrien and Felix should do it as Crown Princes. Felix wanted nothing to do with it and even though Felix was on his side, Adrien wasn’t about to force his brother into it since he had to announce to everyone who Felix really was in order to forward their plans. He had no clue how his mom had done this every year. Even with a bases of what to go off, it was a lot of work. Not to mention Audrey was monopolizing all the Queen’s staff that could help him with this. He was worried what she had in store for him and if his father would care for a few moments like he usually did.

A knock on the door interrupted his break. Hoping it was Marinette with more info he needed, he called for the person to come in. He was surprised when he saw it was Luka.

“What are you doing here? I thought you had the day off?”

“I do. I had to go get something.” Adrien then noticed Luka was hiding something behind his back. He raised an eyebrow at the bodyguard, who only smiled before pulling a gift bag from behind his back and placing it on the table. 

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

Adrien was usually cautious when people gave him gifts as a fault, but he knew he could trust the people in his group. So he opened the bag and pulled out the deep blue scarf. The colour reminded him of the colour Luka used to have in his hair.

“You kept my mom warm and I know she’d ring my ear if I left you to get cold.” Luka explained.

“You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to.” Luka plucked the scarf from Adrien and slowly wrapped it around his neck as to not startle him. “It looks good on you.”

Adrien pressed his face into the scarf, hiding his blush. He wondered if it said something that he didn’t flinch as much with Luka putting the scarf around his neck as he sometimes did with Nino throwing an arm around his neck. Maybe because they had the chance to interact more or maybe, when around Luka, Adrien just felt things he thought he wouldn’t feel.

Luka just had a way of getting past a person’s walls.

                                                   ___________

Luka tried not to feel rage. The royal family just didn’t give up. Audrey had practically ordered Adrien to take care of the annual bazar and then dragged Chloe and Felix – The Forgotten Royals as she played them up to be – to a photoshoot with the King that ran over into the bazar, leaving Adrien the only member of the royal family to attend the bazar. Audrey came down with a sudden illness.

The auction had been going on, still no sign of Chloe, Felix or the King when they reached the final item. An antique clock from the King’s collection. Luka watched Adrien talk about the clock, his hand on it when he yanked it away with a sudden ‘ouch’. He watched as he joked to the crowd about how metals retain heat and to not place the clock in direct sunlight. Luka remembered trying to understand how an antique clock, that had been out of the sun, could be hot. Unless there was something inside radiating heat. It what felt like snapshots, he’d warned Adrien, thrown the clock away and pulled Adrien to the floor as the bomb inside exploded. To see Adrien unconscious, blood dripping from the shallow cut on his neck, though at that moment, it looked much worse, it scared him. He barely even recognised the King as he picked Adrien up to get him to the medical wing. He wasn’t sure how long the concern the king held would last. Adrien didn’t stay in the medical wing long once he woke up. He demanded to stay in his room while he recovered and once the doctor set up his IV bag next to his bed and gave him a dose of pain killers, Luka was told to stay with the Prince and watch over him.

Luka knew as head of the guard for Adrien, he had paperwork to fill out for the incident, but he couldn’t move. He realised he was starting to feel stifled in his suit and stood up, hoping to duck out to change but stopped when something grabbed his hand.

Adrien looked up at him with lidded eyes, eyes that screamed fear laced with pain. “Don’t go, please?”

Dropping back down onto his chair, Luka held Adrien’s hand, using his other to wipe the tears that escaped the green eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Those same green eyes locked on the one scratched Luka had gotten. He felt like such a failure for not keeping Adrien safe, for letting him get hurt worse than he did.

“You’re hurt.”

“It’s just a scratch. Just focus on getting better, ok?”

‘Get better so I don’t go crazy and kill either your father or Audrey. I haven’t decided yet.’

Adrien gently squeezed Luka’s hand. “Promise me you won’t leave?”

Luka pulled his hand away enough to link pinkies with the Prince. It didn’t matter that they were adults, this was how he swore things.

“I promise, I won’t leave you.” he pressed a kiss onto the interlocked pinkies and watched the tension leave Adrien.

Adrien made promises to him and his family and this was one Luka would keep forever. 

[lux-i-fer]

Holiday Weekend at Penny's

Ao3 link

Synopsis: After four peaceful Christmases in a row, Christmas number five might just be Lucifer's match. Between Penelope Decker's new beau and a gift for Chloe burning a hole in his pocket, he's not entirely sure he'll make it back to LA alive.

Rating: G

Notes: Sequel to Moonlighting and Moonlighting. (STANDALONE FIC. FIRST PART IS NOT REQUIRED READING). I bet this was a sequel you never saw coming. Trust me, I didn't expect it either! Because this is in fact a sequel of a fic written during s1 this fic exists in an imaginary post-s4 timeline!

This fic is for the lovely @nightslux for the 2019 Secret Satan TDN Christmas Exchange. Merry Christmas and happy New Year darlings! Unbetaed.

When they arrived at Penelope Decker’s mountain cabin, Lucifer realized he’d never in all of his four years of visiting thanked the woman for what she’d done. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if she knew what she’d done in the first place. He was sure she had a general idea, but  Lucifer wondered if she knew that she was the catalyst that finally pushed him and Chloe together. Lucifer hummed and fiddled with the gift for Chloe he’d stashed in his pocket. The memories of their first night at the cabin clouded his thoughts. He could still taste the wine on her tongue and feel her hands cupping his face.

“What’s put you into such a good mood?” Chloe asked, shifting the car into park. “You’re usually grumpy on Christmas.”

“Yes, well you would be too if your Father so blatantly chose favorites,” Lucifer replied, all residual happiness of the memory fading away. “It’s not as if my half brother’s ego isn’t inflated enough already.” He looked away flustered and knowing that that wasn’t the answer she was fishing for. “Apologies, Detective,” he continued after clearing his throat. “I was simply thinking about our first Christmas with dear Penelope.” At that, Chloe offered him a gentle smile and leaned across the center console to give him a peck on the lips.

“Are you guys done being gross now? I want to get out and play in the snow.” Beatrice called from the back seat. Lucifer pulled away and caught a glimpse of her hands covering her eyes in the rear view mirror.

Chloe rolled her eyes and killed the engine. “Yeah, Monkey, we are. Help us unload the car and then you can go play.” Beatrice was out of the car and popping the trunk before she could say another word. 

Lucifer followed, anxious to get out of the cold despite the overcoat he’d bought specifically for this occasion. Even with his elevated body temperature, Lucifer avoided the cold as much as possible. But alas, Penelope insisted on having snow on Christmas, so here they all were, standing around in near-freezing temps for the sake of tradition. He buttoned up his coat begrudgingly and started helping unload the car. As he handed Chloe her garbage bag full of presents, he heard the sound of another car coming up the drive. Then a moment later, he heard said car’s door slam. He turned around just in time for Penelope Decker to wrap him up in a sideways embrace. The force of her crashing into him would have been enough to knock the breath out of any other human, but Lucifer managed to hold steady.

“Lucifer!” She kissed both of his cheeks. “Look at you; it’s so great to see you!” 

Lucifer returned the gesture. “Penelope! Always a pleasure to see you as well. You’re looking lovely as usual.” 

She preened at his complement and looked around. “Now where’s my daughter?”  

“She was right behind me...” Lucifer’s trailed off when he didn’t see Chloe beside him. Where had she gone? He finally spotted her, giving the bag of gifts to Beatrice by the front door. “Ah, there she is.” Penelope followed his gaze and ran off with her arms open wide for another bone-crushing embrace. Lucifer returned his attention to the car Penelope had arrived in and saw Dan crawling out of the driver’s seat (according to Chloe, Penelope was a horrid driver in the snow) and a man he didn’t recognize beginning to grab bags out of the back seat. 

Penelope reappeared by his side with Chloe in tow. “Lucifer, Chloe, come meet my boyfriend, Jeff.” She gestured to the man Lucifer didn’t recognize.

“Jeff?” he repeated under his breath. None of the Decker women had mentioned Penelope was bringing a guest. Much less a guest with a name as boring as “Jeff.”

Chloe looped her arm in his. “Just go with it.” 

Penelope was still talking when Lucifer tuned back in. “--and this is Chloe’s boyfriend, Lucifer.” 

Jeff stuck out his hand. Chloe shook it first. “Nice to meet you, Jeff.”

“Nice to meet you! Penny’s told me a lot about you,” Jeff replied enthusiastically. He turned to Lucifer. Lucifer shook his hand out of mere formality, and cringed when he seemed to refuse to let go. He didn’t remember humans’ hands being this slimy. “And nice to meet you too! Is your name really Lucifer? Like the guy who owns that nightclub? Do you mind if I call you Luce?”

Lucifer hid his immediate discomfort with his most charming smile. “Yes. Lucifer Morningstar,” he corrected subtly. “The one and only owner of Lux.”

“Damn that’s neat. I’ve been there a few times, it’s a swanky place.” Jeff finally let go of Lucifer’s hand. “Well we better get out of the cold. Penny said there’s a lot to do today.”

“There is,” Penelope agreed. “I already gave Dan the key to unlock the door so he and Trixie could get a head start while I introduced you guys to Jeff. Oh,” she turned to Jeff. “you have to meet my granddaughter!”

As if on command, Beatrice burst out of the front door, wrapped up in a giant ski jacket and pants. Lucifer flinched as she flopped into the nearest snow bank, undoubtedly jamming snow down the back of her coat. 

“Look Lucifer, I’m making a snow-you!” she shouted.

He hefted the remaining bags on his shoulders and glanced down at her flailing around in the snow. “Very nice, urchin. Except that wingspan would never support an actual angel.” Beatrice giggled and continued flapping her arms. Lucifer shook his head, bewildered.

“That’s a really good snow angel, Trix,” Penelope said as she came up behind them with Chloe and Jeff in tow. “Trix, hun, this is Nana’s friend Jeff.”

Beatrice paused her flailing to wave. “Hi!”

A blast of chilly air blew a dusting of loose snow over her, causing her to giggle even louder. Lucifer shivered as the wind crept down his collar and decided he was done with introductions and done with the cold. He moved into the cabin, leaving both behind. By the time Lucifer had returned from placing their luggage in a bedroom, Dan had taken down all of the boxes of decorations from the attic. 

“Dan, Jeff, and I are going to start dinner,” Penelope told him when he came down the stairs. “Would you and Chloe start on the tree please?”

Lucifer grinned, happy to be paired up with Chloe. “Anything you need, Penelope.” 

He found Chloe amongst the various cardboard boxes in the living room. She hadn’t noticed him yet, and Lucifer took a few moments to just watch her. She was rifling through one of the boxes, pulling out ornament tins and stockings and placing them on the coffee table in the same way she would spread out evidence at the precinct. His hand unconsciously went to his pants pocket and felt around for her gift. For a moment, Lucifer thought about just giving it to her now when it was just the two of them. He took in the barren Christmas tree and the dust dancing in the late afternoon sunlight and left the box in his pocket. There would be more than enough time later, he thought to himself.

“What can I help with, darling?” Chloe whipped around, Christmas lights in hand, at the sound of his voice.

“Lucifer,” she said breathily. “You scared me.”

He shrugged and wondered into the room. “Perhaps you should put a bell on me like you’ve threatened to in the past.”

Chloe snorted. “Nope, definitely not. You’d enjoy it way too much.”

“Detective you wound me.” He placed a hand to his chest to emphasize his point.

“Here.” She handed him a tangled mass of Christmas lights. “Why don’t you start on the lights?” Lucifer frowned and opened his mouth to protest such a menial task, only for her to silence him with a cheerful smile. “You did tell my mom ‘anything she needed.’” 

“Yes, well, I anticipated dear Penelope would need help with wine pairings or mistletoe hanging not…”

“‘Inflating your half brother’s ego?”’ 

“Exactly!”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “It won’t kill your image if you untangle one strand of Christmas lights, Lucifer. Come on, put your lightbringer skills to use.” 

He scoffed, but sat down and began to do as she’d asked. Just because Lucifer was the Devil did not mean he wasn’t a gentleman. And proper gentlemen did not make a scene in front of the in-laws. “You know his birthday isn’t even in December. It’s in May,” he grumbled.

Chloe didn’t tear her eyes from the ornaments she was unboxing. “You’ve mentioned that before, babe.”

Lucifer tried not to get upset when she didn’t rise to the bait. He heaved out one last long-suffering sigh before directing his full attention to the offending ball of lights. According to Penelope, the lights hadn’t been used for a couple of years, and looking at them now, it was obvious as to why. Whoever had used them last had been careless. It was impossible to tell how long the strand actually was because the wires were so tangled together. It looked more like a mechanical tumbleweed than Christmas lights. 

By the time he’d finally untangled the lights, Beatrice had finished playing in the snow. “Did you plug the lights in to see if they worked yet?” she asked, sipping her hot chocolate on the couch next to him.

Lucifer shot her a grin. “Darling, please.” Without breaking eye contact, he reached into himself, gathered a fraction of his divine power onto his fingertips, and snapped. The divine energy ignited the lightbulbs, causing them to pulse with a soft blue light. Beatrice squealed with delight.

“Whoa! Lucifer that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! Mom look at what Lucifer did to the lights!” Chloe looked up from where she was stringing garland around the Christmas tree. Lucifer urged the lights to glow brighter when he saw her start to smile.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” she said.

“I can’t reveal all of my tricks, now can I Detective?” Like he had with her daughter, Lucifer held Chloe’s gaze, watching the divine light dance softly on her face. He let the lights glimmer for a few seconds more and then let them fade away. 

Beatrice tapped his shoulder. “Can I plug them in for real?”

Lucifer handed her the plug, and she raced to the nearest outlet, the freshly untangled lights trailing behind her. Beatrice plugged them in, but unlike before, the lights didn’t turn on. She tried again. Nothing. Lucifer frowned.

“Oh I guess there’s a short,” Chloe said, turning back to the garland.

Almost immediately, Jeff appeared in the doorway as if the words had summoned him like some half-witted hellbeast. “Gotta short, I heard?” He began to make his way over to where Beatrice was kneeling by the outlet.

Lucifer clenched his teeth and mustered up his smoothest tone. “No need to pry yourself away from Penelope, we’re managing it just fine.” 

Jeff waved him off and moved on to fiddle with the lightbulbs. “It’s no trouble. These old strands are finicky sometimes. My uncle used to say I’ve got the magic touch when it comes to these things. I used to do this for him all the time.”

For once in his life, Lucifer was speechless. His influence really only extended to desire, but after ruling Hell for an eternity and a half, he had grown accustomed to a certain degree of respect. Hell, even his employees at Lux knew not to undermine him. It was common decency. He narrowed his eyes. Whatever game Jeff was playing, Lucifer was going to get to the bottom of it. He began sorting through the remaining strand of lights in his lap. If he was quick enough, he might be able to beat Jeff to it. However, before he could grab the next bulb, the strand flickered to life. 

Jeff let out a triumphant sound. “There we go. Told you I could get it sorted out. Some lightbringer you are amirite, Luce?” He gave him a friendly arm punch.

“It’s Lucifer,” he corrected stiffly. 

“Nah, I know. I’m just joking with you.” 

Jeff walked back in the kitchen with a spring in his step that irritated Lucifer more than he’d care to admit. There was something off about Jeff, and this time Lucifer was certain that it wasn’t just his pride talking. Only a creature with supernatural hearing could have heard their conversation over the racket of saccharine Christmas carols and Penelope cooking dinner. Whatever Jeff was, he wasn’t human. 

“Monkey, let’s put the lights on the tree,” Chloe called. Beatrice ripped the plug from the socket once more and dragged the strand over to where her mother was standing. Lucifer took a deep breath and then walked over and sidled up behind Chloe. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her in close. Chloe automatically rested her hand over his and leaned into his chest. “What’s up?” 

“Something’s not right about dear Penelope’s new chap,” he whispered close to her ear. 

She made a noise in her throat. “Are you sure you’re not just upset that he stole your thunder?” They watch Beatrice wrap the lights around the tree for a few tense moments. Lucifer stayed silent. He knew she meant it as a joke, but pride had always been one of his sins, and he couldn’t help but feel the sting of her words. Chloe squeezed his hand, as if she felt it too. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she muttered. 

He placed a light kiss behind her ear. “I know.”

“If you really believe it, promise me you won’t make a big deal out of it. Mom seems really happy with this guy.”

Lucifer nodded. “You have my word, Detective.” 

They fell silent for another beat. “Hey,” she twisted to look up at him. “Why don’t you go see if Dan needs help with anything? Trix and I can finish up in here.”

Lucifer nodded. He gave her one last peck on the cheek and then left in search of Dan. He checked the kitchen first. Dan usually helped Penelope cook or set the table, but this time he was nowhere in sight. Instead, all he found was Penelope pulling the rolls out of the oven and Jeff stirring the vegetables. Lucifer was about to check upstairs when a voice stopped him.

“Hey-o Luce! You looking for something?” 

Lucifer suppressed the urge to correct him a third time. “Just Daniel.”

Penelope waved her serving spoon in the direction of the stairs. “Check upstairs, Lucifer sweetie.” 

It took him three tries, but Lucifer finally found Dan in the last bedroom, unloading his suitcase. He knocked gently on the open door, causing Dan to glance up from his dismal wardrobe. “Hey man. Is dinner ready?”

“Not yet. The Detective ordered me to assist you; however,” he gestured to the knit red and green monstrosity in Dan’s hand, “I don’t think you need my help recognizing what a pitiful abomination that is.”

Dan grinned with half of his normal bitterness and held up the sweater. “What, you don’t like it?” The it in question boasted several tabby cats wrapped in shimmery green tinsel with “Meow-y Christmas!” stitched in big red letters at the bottom. Lucifer shuddered. 

“Take it from your neighborhood Devil, Daniel: that sweater is a sin. And not the good kind.”

Dan threw the sweater back onto the bed with a little more force than necessary. “Yeah I figured you’d say that.” 

Lucifer wrinkled his brow at that. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Dan was upset about something. “Why aren’t you knocking around the kitchen like every other year?” he asked instead.

“Because fucking Jeff , that’s why,” he snapped. Lucifer cringed, not such a safe question then. Dan sighed. “Sorry man. I didn’t mean for it to come out that harsh.”

So he was upset. Lucifer wished he hadn’t asked, but he’d be damned a second time if he wasn’t going to take any opportunity to gather information on Jeff. Lucifer crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway before he continued. “What did Penelope’s boytoy do to get you this riled up?” 

“Just...I don’t know.” Dan shook his head. “I always help Penny make the vegetables and then all of a sudden Jeff comes in and tells me I’m seasoning them wrong! Then he starts doing my job! And then it looks like I’m the asshole because Jeff’s so nice and who wouldn’t just accept help like that, you know?”

Lucifer cocked his head. “I’ve held my tongue for four years for the Detective’s sake, but I suppose I’ll say it now. You do season the vegetables wrong, Daniel.”

“Hey--”

“No,” Lucifer cut him off. “Listen to me. It pains me to say this, but that is beside the point. It doesn’t matter that you season food like your taste buds were seared off in a chemical spill. What matters is that for once you and I are on the same page. Jeff did the same thing to me when I was helping the Detective with the fairy lights.”

“Really?”

Lucifer nodded and lowered his voice. “And if I’m being entirely honest, I’m fairly certain he’s not who he says he is.”

Dan gestured for Lucifer to shut the door. Only when it was shut completely did he respond. “What are you saying?”

“Whoever--or whatever--Jeff is, I believe it is a front. I’ve been observing him since we arrived. Something seems off. He reminds me far too much of some of the unsavory creatures in Hell to be coincidence.”

“Jeff’s mafia?” Dan whispered fiercely. 

Lucifer blinked. “What?” He shook his head. “Daniel I said Hell, not the mob.”

Dan winked. “Yeah, gotcha. ‘ The week is long. The silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west,’ ‘don’t talk about Fight Club’ or whatever other bullshit.”

For a brief moment, Lucifer was sure that he and Dan had been on the same page. Now he wasn’t very confident in that conclusion. He cleared his throat. “Yes sure, whatever you say Daniel. Now, will you help me figure out what he is or not?”

“Hell yeah, why wouldn’t I help? Chloe or Penny or Trixie could be in danger.” 

Lucifer shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure.” He clapped his hands together. “Now, there are some tests we can run to try and determine what kind of creature Jeff is. We can immediately rule out any of my celestial siblings; however, the infernal ones are sadly still on the table. As are the other run-of-the-mill supernatural creatures.”

Dan shook his head, looking a little dazed. “Dude, one day you’re going to have to explain your family to me.”

Lucifer ignored him, but not without giving him a withering glance. “Right. Anyway, we can try the normal tests: silver, holy water, the works. We’re lucky that dear Penelope still keeps real silverware.”

“Wait that stuff’s legit?” Dan asked, eyes going wide.

Lucifer wasn’t sure what “stuff” Dan was referring to. Before he could ask, there was a knock on the door.

“Hey Dan? Can I come in?” Chloe’s question was muffled by the door. Dan shouted an affirmative and the door swung open. “There you guys are,” she said when she saw Lucifer standing next to Dan. “Is everything alright?”

“Close the door,” Dan whispered. Chloe arched a brow, but did as she was asked. “Lucifer thinks he recognizes Jeff from The Life.” She shot Lucifer a look.

Lucifer held up a hand. Father help him, he wasn’t going to let Dan slander his name in front of Chloe. “ No, I said Jeff is not who he says he is. We’re doing tests to see if he’s human.”

“Lucifer,” she sighed. “I told you not to make this a big deal.”

“Daniel started it!” He jabbed a finger in his direction to make his point.

Dan batted his finger away. “Don’t throw me under the bus like that, Lucifer! You’re the one who wants to do tests!”

He scoffed. “You’re he--”

“Guys!” Chloe interjected. “Stop.” They fell silent. “Look I’m really glad you guys are getting along, but whatever this,” she gestured vaguely in their direction. “Is don’t let it ruin Christmas alright? Leave me, leave mom, and leave Trixie out of it, okay?”

Dan shook his head. “Don’t worry we’ll be careful.”

“Yes, Detective I did give you my word,” Lucifer added.

Chloe’s face softened. “Good.” She moved to wedge herself in between them, carefully wrapping an arm around each of their waists, and pulling them in close. “I love both of you so much and I’m so thankful to have both of you here,” she said quietly. 

As a testament of how far he’d come since he’d crawled out of Hell, Lucifer didn’t get upset at her statement. A few years ago, he might have been jealous of her marriage to Dan. As a matter of fact, he had been jealous of their relationship. The man he’d been then couldn’t comprehend how Chloe could break her love into so many pieces and yet still have enough left over to love him as deeply as he loved her. He was selfish then, Lucifer would admit it. He wanted to capture every ounce of her affections and keep it all for himself. But that wasn’t how it worked. Chloe loved best when she was free to give it to everyone. He always thought that revelation would drive a wedge between them, but it had only made him love her more. And it made him want to be better too.

They stood in silence for a minute, letting her words sink deep into their souls. Chloe rubbed a hand down their backs and let them go. She gave both of them a kiss on the cheek--Lucifer first, Dan second--before going to open the door. “Mom told me to tell you guys dinner is ready, so let’s get down there before they start wondering where we are.”

Lucifer sighed and straightened out his suit jacket. He took a beat to collect himself, gave a short nod to Dan, and then followed Chloe downstairs.

The start of dinner was an interesting affair, to say the least. Jeff dominated the conversation as soon as they descended the stairs, and judging by the looks Lucifer shared with Dan and Chloe, nobody was enjoying what he was saying. Niceties and plain, sterilized topics spilled from his mouth like a leaky faucet before they’d even begun to eat. Even worse yet, Jeff had insisted they say grace despite the fact that no one except maybe Daniel had set foot in a church for over a decade. As an act of defiance, Lucifer blessed Jeff’s wine while he warbled through his praises to his Father and half brother.

Lucifer caught Dan’s eye as soon as he saw Jeff go to pick up his knife. Together they watched him grab his silverware with ease, and when his skin didn’t immediately burn off Lucifer couldn’t help but deflate a little. He only deflated more when they found out that the blessed wine was a bust too. 

“This turkey is great, Mom,” Chloe said when Jeff’s mouth was full of mashed potatoes.

Penelope basked in the complement. “Thanks baby.”

“I actually suggested this great turkey recipe to Penny last week,” Jeff prattled on, mouth still half full. “I don’t think she used it tonight though.”

“Nope, sorry hun, I always use John’s recipe. He was such a great cook, and I just can’t imagine having anything else during Christmas.”

Jeff laughed. “I can assure you once you try my recipe, you’ll forget all about this one.”

Penelope’s fork screeched against her plate like a record scratch. The table went deathly silent. Lucifer could feel Chloe go still beside him, and he placed a comforting hand on her thigh. He knew Jeff’s words struck a nerve when she laced her fingers with his and squeezed hard enough for her nails to dig into his skin. Even Beatrice was looking at Jeff like he’d suddenly grown a second head.

Lucifer broke the silence. “Well I don’t think I’ve ever tasted a better turkey, dear Penelope. And that’s coming from someone who has an affinity for fine dining.”

Penelope visibly relaxed and it was as if the spell broke. The noises of silverware clicking against plates and fingernails tinging against wine glasses flooded back into the room. Chloe let go of Lucifer’s hand and flashed him a grateful smile.

“Nana do you want to hear about my project on outer space?” Beatrice asked.

“Psst. Hey Lucifer,” Dan whispered. Lucifer whipped his head towards the sound. 

He caught Dan staring at him with an odd glimmer in his eye. “Thanks for doing that, man.”

Lucifer ducked his head. “I couldn’t let him continue to smear Jonathan’s good name, now could I?”

“Still though, you didn’t have to do that.” He leaned further across the table and lowered his voice even more. “I don’t think this is working, though. Have you got anything from your tests?”

Lucifer shook his head, frustrated. “I’ve tested him for every supernatural inclination I can think of and I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that he’s just regular old wanker.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Great. Those are the worst kinds of monsters.”

“Boys?” Lucifer looked up to see Penelope and everyone else staring at them from the other end of the table. “Is everything alright?”

“We’re fine, sorry Penny. I wanted to know what Lucifer had gotten everyone for Christmas,” Dan lied smoothly. Chloe rolled her eyes at the obvious lie and took a swig from her second glass of wine.

Beatrice gasped. “What did you get me Lucifer?” 

“You’ll see, urchin,” he said in between sips of wine.

She turned her attention to Dan and made sure to bat her eyelashes for good measure. “Daddy what did Lucifer get me?” 

Dan shook his head. “You’ll see soon enough, Trix.” 

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Jeff began, picking at his food. “But how does your relationship work?”

“What do you mean Jeff honey?” Penelope asked. Her eyes darted from her boyfriend to her daughter.

“Well you’re divorced right?” He drew a line with his knife from Dan to Chloe. Chloe made a go on gesture with her own knife. “How do you manage, you know, everything between exes and then stuff like new relationships and who gets what holidays and such?”

Chloe and Dan shared a look. Chloe coughed. “Well. We just manage, I guess? Dan and I are still friends. Dan and Lucifer are friends. It was tough at first, but Dan and I actually have a better relationship now that we’re separated.”

Dan nodded his affirmation. “And for holidays we just coordinate the best we can. Not a lot has changed schedule-wise except that Trixie rotates houses every week or so.”

“It’s great! I get to have two bedrooms,” Beatrice stage whispered to Jeff.

“Whoowee, you guys are crazy!” Penelope seemed taken aback by Jeff’s outburst, but he continued talking. “I could never be civil with my ex wife. No siree, we didn’t part on good terms at all.”

“Well I am happy that you three all get along,” Penelope said quickly. “Not everybody gets to have two handsome men around the table during the holidays.”

“What about me Penny hun?” Jeff asked a little too sweetly for Lucifer’s taste.

“What about you Jeffrey?” Penelope stood and began clearing the table.

Jeff chuckled uneasily. “Nothing, nothing. I was just joking.” He swallowed thickly. “Let’s get this cleaned up so we can open presents!”

Lucifer and Dan exchanged matching smirks. Perhaps Penelope was smarter than they’d initially given her credit for. When Chloe rose to take up her plate, she bumped Lucifer’s shoulder with her hip. To anyone else it would look like an accident, but he knew she did it on purpose. He looked up at her, his smirk turning into a full blown grin when he saw her barely holding back her laughter. She squeezed his shoulder with her free hand and headed to the sink, edging Penelope away from the counter. “I’ll load the dishwasher for you, Mom. You cooked, I’ll clean up.”

“I’ll go help her,” Dan said to nobody in particular. Lucifer waved him off.

“I’ve got it, Daniel. Go make sure Beatrice doesn’t open all of her gifts before everyone else sits down.”

He smiled appreciatively and pushed in his chair. “Thanks.”

“Why don’t you go with them, Jeff?” Penelope suggested. “You can start sorting out the gifts we brought. I want to talk to Lucifer and Chloe for a minute.” 

Jeff smiled tightly. “Of course, Penny.” 

When he was finally gone, Penelope turned back to Lucifer and Chloe. “I think bringing Jeff up here was a mistake.” 

Chloe handed Lucifer a dirty glass and sighed. “It’s okay, Mom. How were you supposed to know he’d say something like that?”

She shook her head. “I should have known better.” When Lucifer saw Penelope tear up, he focused on carefully arranging the dishes on the dishwasher rack. Chloe dropped the plate she was rinsing in the sink and passed Penelope a paper napkin. She blew her nose. “Thank you for handling it, Lucifer.”

Lucifer finally meant her puffy eyes. “It was my pleasure.”

They fell into a comfortable silence while they finished putting the last few dishes in the dishwasher. Instead of going to sit down in the living room, Penelope hovered close to the sink, tapping away on her phone throughout the whole thing. When they finally made their way to the living room, Beatrice had already divided up all the presents into little piles.

“Mom and Lucifer your stuff is over there.” She directed them towards the loveseat. “And Nana your presents are here.” She pointed at the side of the couch Dan wasn’t occupying. Nobody missed that Jeff was sitting in the lone rocking chair, away from the rest of the group. Once she was satisfied with where everyone was situated, Beatrice sat in between Penelope and Dan. “Can I start now?”

“Yeah baby, go ahead,” Chloe said.

Beatrice didn’t need to be told twice. She began tearing at the wrapping paper of the nearest present. Lucifer couldn’t help the rush of pride when he realized it was his. Beatrice’s eyes went wide when she managed to get the box open. “Oh my gosh Lucifer I love it!” She held up the locket, trying to see the picture of the three of them that Lucifer had put inside. 

“What is it, babe?” Dan asked, leaning over to get a better look.

“It’s a locket!” She thrust it in his face. “Look it’s engraved!”

“‘ For Beatrice. With love, from Lucifer.”’ he read.

Penelope swooned. “Lucifer, that’s adorable!”

Lucifer felt Chloe press a kiss into his shoulder and he smiled. “You’re welcome, Beatrice.” The weight of Chloe’s gift seemed to feel heavier in his pocket when Beatrice’s smile stayed fixed on her face as she looped the locket around her neck and ripped open the next gift (a bracelet from Dan). And then she opened the next (an art kit from Chloe) and the next until there was a sea of wrapping paper blanketing the carpet and a mountain of gifts surrounding her.

“I think it’s time to move on to the adults’ gifts now,” Jeff began loudly. 

Lucifer felt his stomach twist. The little box in his pocket felt like it was burning a hole in his Armani. His heart began to pound, and if he was human Lucifer was certain he’d have been sweating bullets. He’d wanted to wait until all of the gifts had been opened, but now that it was time to begin opening his gifts he wasn’t so sure he could wait. Before he could raise his voice to request to go first, Jeff interrupted him. “Penny do you want to go first?”

Penelope set her wine down on the table. “Oh, I suppose so,” she said with faux modesty. 

Lucifer could barely remember to ohh and ahh at the right moments as Penelope tore into her gifts. It was as if his world had narrowed down to one specific gift jammed deep in his pants pocket. He fought the urge to reach in and make sure it was still there as they moved onto Jeff’s few gifts. By the time it was Dan’s turn to open his presents, Chloe was beginning to notice his nervousness.

She leaned further into his side to whisper in his ear. “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

He shook his head. “Nothing darling. Just keeping an eye on Jeff to make sure he doesn’t have any more missteps tonight.” He was sure she could tell that that wasn’t the real reason for his shaking hands, but luckily for him, she just shifted to lay her head on his shoulder in lieu of an interrogation.

“M’kay. Love you.”

“And I you, darling.” The sentence carried so much emotion behind it that Lucifer felt it burn a track up his throat.

Ten minutes later, Lucifer opened up his own gifts with mechanical efficiency. He tried to give the proper polite amount of attention to each item, but the truth was that his heart wasn’t in it. He had to get Chloe’s gift out of his pocket; the thing was consuming him from the inside out. But if Lucifer thought opening his gifts was the most difficult ten minutes of his life, watching Chloe open hers was worse. She took a painstakingly long time with each of them, marveling over their beauty or usefulness, and thanking each gifter individually. Then, finally, finally it was time.

Lucifer shifted to the edge of the loveseat, easing away from Chloe’s wine-tipsy embrace. “I actually have one last gift for the Detective,” he said, raising his voice over the holiday chatter. The room quieted and Lucifer reached for the box in his pocket. Slowly, he sunk down on his knee. He opened the box he’d been carrying around all day to reveal a glittering black-jeweled ring. He distantly heard Penelope gasp. “Detective--Chloe. I had this grand speech prepared before we came up here, but no matter how often I rewrote it, it just never felt right for this moment. So here is the abridged version. I love you darling. I might not have realized it until much, much later, but I loved you from the very moment you stepped foot into my life. You’re my best friend and dearest love, and that’s more than the man I was a decade ago could have ever anticipated having. Chloe Jane Decker will you marry me?”

Chloe stared at him, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. When he saw tears gather in the corners of her eyes, Lucifer felt his stomach drop. Was this the wrong time? Had he done it wrong? He stood frozen as she brought a hand to cup his cheek. She brought his face closer to hers, pulling him off his knees, and Lucifer assumed the worst. But then her face split into the most vibrant smile she’d ever given him.

“ Yes,” she breathed before pulling him into a kiss. Lucifer lost himself in a wave of relief and joy. When Chloe broke the kiss, the intimate bubble around them popped. Someone started clapping. 

“Put the ring on, I want to see it!” someone else, probably Beatrice, shouted.

Lucifer felt drunk. It took him a few seconds to steady his hands enough to take the ring from the box and slide it onto Chloe’s ring finger. A dopey smile spread across his face when he turned to face the rest of the room. Dan clapped him on the back, and Lucifer swayed on his feet. Penelope wrapped her arms around him in a hug that was even tighter than the one she’d given him earlier in the day. 

“Congrats, Lucifer!” she squealed. She held onto him for a few more seconds and then released him to do the same to Chloe. “Your father would be so happy for you, baby!”

“What about me? I’m happy for you too, Chloe!” Jeff exclaimed, putting a hand on Penelope’s shoulder. The celebration hiccuped as it had during dinner. The smile on Chloe’s face slipped, but she moved to give him a polite side hug anyways. Lucifer began to stalk towards him, eyes on the brink of flashing red, but a hand across his chest stopped him. He glanced down to see Penelope arching a brow at him.

“I’ve got this one covered, Lucifer. It’s time I stand up for myself.” She drew herself up. “Jeffrey, listen.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a very nice man, and we’ve had a fun few months, but I’m afraid I have to put a stop to this.”

Jeff gave her a vacant look. “What?”

“It’s time for you to go Jeffrey. You’ve been trying to erase John from my life ever since we started dating, and that’s just not going to fly. My family will always be more important than a country club reject. So get out of my house.”

“Huh?”

“Leave.” She shook him for emphasis. “Get your things. I called an Uber for you before we started opening presents and he’s waiting outside to take you home. I want to spend Christmas with my family.”

Jeff turned mauve. “I…”

Dan appeared at Penelope’s side. “You heard her.”

Lucifer loomed over her other shoulder, glaring down his nose at the sniveling man in front of him. Without saying another word, Jeff began collecting his things. He waded through the wrapping paper and grabbed the few gifts Penelope had given him. Then he started towards the stairs, presumably to grab his suitcase. Penelope and Dan followed him out.

“We’ll show you out the door,” Lucifer heard Penelope say. 

Lucifer was tempted to go with them, just to ensure that the job was done swiftly, but before he could go, Chloe put a hand on his arm to stop him. First he looked down at her hand proudly displaying the ring he’d picked out, and then he looked up at her beautiful face. 

“Let him go. It’s Christmas,” she said conspiringly.

“Yeah, it’s Christmas, Lucifer!” Beatrice plastered herself against his legs and gave him a hug reminiscent of Penelope’s. 

Lucifer smirked and pulled Chloe in close for another kiss. “Merry Christmas, Detective.”

“Merry Christmas, Lucifer.”

[clairebeauchampfan]

Tripe. Bollocks. Absolute tosh. Deliberate distortions?  Anyway, how would they know? Many ES claimed they only watched the first three episodes, then gave up because there wasn’t enough sex..(I mean, intimacy). did these people watch the whole series? Were they paying attention to what was actually going on? 

gaelic-fullmoon-lady

Only at the start…😩 Season 4 she’s soap-opera-equipment

accardi1921

Yeah,where did this character go she's talking about? Not badass in S4 & doesn't always have to be but S4 Claire was Just so unhappy looking.

mylessanchez

Session 4 she’s an after thought.  She had nothing in season 4.  She entertained his admirers and rubbed his shoulders.  Had to have irked Cait to no end

Etcetera etcetera (and ‘liked’ by people who should know better) . What a load of absolute cobblers. So here we go, Claire apparently had NOTHING to do in Season 4. Perhaps they’ve forgotten. Most likely they just blindly followed the reviews of people who were absolutley determined to be negative about the Season, about Outlander  and about Caitriona Balfe, as they  have been since 1st January 2018. I wonder why? 

Episode 1 Claire rescues Bonnett from hanging. Badass Claire  Claire sets off with her husband into a new land where they have only one relative, aunt Jocasta  Claire loses her wedding ring; has presence of mind to swallow one. Badass Claire.

Episode 2 Claire encourages Jamie to reject Aunt Jocasta’s inheritance; a life of ease and luxury, because she can’t own slaves. She faces down the lynch mob; patches up Rufus, then has the courage to give him a poison to spare him from a lynching, thus breaking her hypocratic oath - first, do no harm. Badass Claire much.

Episode 3 Claire sets of with her husband into the wilderness. She can ride a horse, confront ghosts, load and fire an eighteenth century rifle. Claire is badass Claire

Episode 4 Dr Claire fixes up Myers and , husband wounded after confrontation with the man bear: makes friends with wise woman from  potentially hostile indigenous people, the Cherokee. Does Claire run screaming back to civilisation? No, Claire is badass Claire. 

Episode 5. Dr Claire brings baby into world. No epidurals, no midwife....Dr Claire is badass doctor.  Dr Claire stops Mueller from starting war with cherokees by interposing herself between them. Badass Claire. ‘Vulture’ recap:  “Claire gathers her gun, Rollo, and some decent beef jerky, and hunkers down in the cabin. She’s terrified, but in a very badass way. Mueller finally arrives, but not to kill Claire — he wants to make sure she’s okay. He also wants to give her a gift. In a horrifying reveal, Claire opens the package to find Adawehi’s scalp. I’m sorry, but the fact that Claire hasn’t had some type of breakdown yet after suffering through an unreal amount of atrocities just seems ridiculous at this point. But she soldiers on. She throws Mueller out, gives Adawehi a proper (as proper as she can) send off, and still, the carnage continues”

Episode 6  Dr Claire saves Lord Johyn from the measles, survives having her husband’s would-be gay lover and Jamie’s by-blow son drop in on them, exchanges some brutal truths with Lord John. Badass Claire

Episode 7 Yeah, okay, Claire wasn’t in THIS ONE frigging episode. Oh My God! Her badass daughter is instead. 

Episode 8. Dr Claire works with her husband to save Murtagh from arrest, performs operation on local corrupt official . As Vulture says:

“There is chaos! There is commotion! Claire says he needs surgery immediately or he will die! Even in the midst of this, men are like, “But you have a vagina, how can you wield a scalpel!?” Honestly, Claire should just let Fanning suffer, but she’s a professional, so she orders everyone INTO THE LOBBY to get set up for emergency surgery. Meanwhile, she gets the low-down from Jamie, who needs her to distract Tryon as he runs off to warn Murtagh of the trap; Tryon can’t know Jamie’s gone.

Jamie uses George and Martha Washington as a sort of Colonial Lyft to get to Fergus and Marsali’s (they had a boy, BTW), and has Fergus find Murtagh while Jamie tries to slip back into the theater unnoticed. Don’t worry guys, it all works out! Although, it’s a little unsettling that Tryon knows exactly who Murtagh is. Keep an eye on our guy, Jamie!

And sure, saving Murtagh is exciting and all, but the most exhilarating part of the entire excursion to the theater is Claire, back in her element, crushing some impromptu surgery. Before you know it, she’s three knuckles deep in that dude’s abdomen and not even breaking a sweat. Governor Tryon is impressed, Fanning’s dummy doctors are impressed, we’re all impressed. You also must remember that while Claire is successfully performing surgery under less-than-desirable circumstances, she is also successfully saving her husband’s ass by distracting Tryon. She manages both tense tasks with a cool composure. Never forget that Claire’s the true hero of this show. If only the entire episode had just been Claire, Jamie, and George Washington”

Episode 9. The reunion. Claire is bowle4 over by her badass daughter travliing back through time to warn her mom about the fire. Claire , badass Claire, says nonchalently: we’ll just go have a holiday every year on that day. 

Vulture recap again:

“Brianna is pregnant and Claire figures it out. After a hilarious fight about why Brianna didn’t pack condoms for her trip to the 1700s (moms are moms no matter the century), Bree confesses that it might not be Roger’s baby, and the truth (without naming Bonnet) comes spilling out. This is definitely Sam Heughan’s episode, but can we give it up for how incredible Caitriona Balfe is in this scene as Claire processes a whole slew of emotions at once? “

Episode 10 No much badassery, to be sure . Here’s Vulutre again to remind us:

“As important as that Jamie-Bree conversation is, and as nice as their shared moment commenting on how at peace Claire seems in the wilderness is, the parent-child moments in this episode that moved me the most belonged to Claire and Bree. The ladies talking about what they missed back in their time — cheeseburgers, Led Zeppelin, and toilets that flush, to name a few things — was a rare lighter scene on Outlander, and brought me so much joy! Claire compassionately and tactfully discussing abortion as an option for Bree was a great reminder of both how Claire is a woman ahead of her time literally and figuratively and of the strength of this mother-daughter relationship. It’s all pretty great.

and Badass Claire takes the side of her daughter against the man she loves, like a real mom! And rides into the wilderness to find and rescue roger from that seriously badass tribe, the Mohawk, just a 700 mile ride away in upper NY state. Badass? 

Episode 11 Vulture again; my memory’s not what it was

Regardless of their scant airtime (in this episode) , Jamie and Claire get the best scene of the episode — maybe the best of the season.Things between Claire and Jamie are still very icy since separating from Bree, and no amount of ignoring it to focus on Claire’s fabulous headband will change that. Even Ian is begging Mom and Dad to make up. Finally, Claire gets to a point where she just can’t watch Jamie in so much pain over what he’s done to Brianna.She (Claire) he goes to him in his tent one night and explains that she’s not mad at him — she’s mad at the world. She explains that after Frank died, she and Brianna shared secrets and they belonged to them — so she’s sorry she didn’t tell Jamie about Bonnet as soon as she found out, and she blames herself for this entire mess. She explains that their marriage is different now because they’re parents. Listen, you guys, two people talking about the difficulties of balancing being a parent with being in a marriage is typically a snoozefest, but Balfe and Heughan are just so freaking good together (what’s new, I know) and imbue such vulnerability and honesty in this moment (I’m still sobbing over Jamie admitting that he’s worried both Bree and Claire think Frank was the better man), that I’ll be thinking about this scene for days. Sure, after Claire assures Jamie that Bree didn’t mean what she said and knows that Jamie for sure didn’t mean what he said and they both say “I’m sorry” and they both wipe away tears from their gorgeous faces, they have sex in that tent

Episode 12 OMG this episode didn’t feature Claire. Shock, horror

Episode 13 Badass Claire and her husband try to rescue Roger from the Mohawks. it all goes wrong. There’s a fight. Badass Claire is wearing the stone from the future! How badass do you have to be as a woman to go, outnumbered, under armed, into the wilderness, to rescue your daughter’s husband from a people whose track record is um.er...(how can one put this in non-judgemental terms?)..to use extreme methods when putting people to death. 

So there you have it: ‘not badass’ in Season 4? In Season 4 as an afterthought? Soap opera equipment ? She had ‘nothing’ in Season 4? I’ve gone on about how Cait-Haters have misused pictures of Claire holding her arms (which she does in EVERY season) as proof she is unhappy. Well, lots of unhappy things happen in Season 4, to Claire, to her friends, to her daughter. It would have been odd if she’s looked happy the whole time, wouldn’t it. I know I’d have been terrified, most of the time, in her position. Here’s some pix of Claire looking sad in Season 4.  

#Badass Dr. Claire Beauchamp

[qqueenofhades]

I know you dont watch GoT anymore. And that Braime and Sansa are your favorites. But I know you've read the books and are obviously really interested in the story. And I was just wondering what your thoughts are on the whole Jon killing Dany thing? Is that something you can see happening in the books? And if it is do you think it'd be in the same context as the show did it?

Ahaha, welp. Just jumping right in there.

(Also, you never have to apologise for asking GOT/ASOIAF questions. I obviously have been a fan for 16 years and wrote fuckin’ TNR with its half-million-plus words, so I clearly do have Thoughts on the story/characters, especially with the bag of lukewarm cat vomit that was s8 of the show.)

I already answered this ask discussing how much I hated the Mad Queen Dany thing, both because a) it was horrifically badly handled and b) these mediocre misogynist douchegobblers have managed to outdo themselves in terms of the gross messages they’ve sent about women, after 8 seasons of that. (These are the same people who made Sansa say that she was grateful for her rapes and who claimed that Dany’s turn into madness was foreshadowed by her having a “chilly” reaction to the death of her abuser, Viserys, in s1, so…. make of that what you will.) I’m not saying that it was narratively impossible, especially since GRRM has been toying with the same thing in the books and has more than his own share of Male Author Syndrome. But at the start of 8x04, Dany is in Winterfell, perfectly sane, toasting Arya as hero of the battle. By the end of 8x06, she’s crazy, a war criminal, and dead, murdered by her boyfriend, because… well, something something plot reasons. Even if you didn’t like Dany or were rooting for her to go mad or whatever, that was wildly badly handled.

I personally think it would be pretty gross for GRRM to also go down the Mad Queen route, though at least if he does, we will have had Dany’s POV chapters beforehand and presumably something resembling a justification and a building narrative momentum toward it. But she also got stuck in Meereen for so long because by his own admission he didn’t know what to do with her there or how to get her out of the situation and moved onto Westeros, which remains, theoretically, her outstanding goal in the books. It would obviously not be outside the realm of possibility for this to happen, given GRRM’s focus on “grittiness” that the show took to max factor 5000. I would still find it reductive and trying to make a Clever Postmodern Point and etc if it happened in the books, because literally why invest us in a character this long, especially one who has tried so hard to overcome the circumstances of her past/to not be her father, and then just do exactly that? Obviously there would be elements of Shakespearean tragedy to it, and if done well it could be compelling, but I personally just have a different approach to fiction and what people want out of a story (especially one now as famous as GOT/ASOIAF and how universally betrayed everyone seems to feel by the ending). I’m not saying Dany’s ultimate ending needs to be sunshine and roses and getting what she wants, because often character arcs and resolutions become all the more powerful for being subverted and thwarted (think the “I said I wanted [x] but [y] was there instead” sort of endings). But whatever it is, it needs to be…. not that.

Also, Jon in both books and especially show has been the epitome of Mediocre White Man. I stopped watching in s4, but Kit Harington’s acting was so wooden and the writing for him was very much Standard Misunderstood Brooding Fantasy Hero that I could barely pay attention to his scenes. I find him somewhat more interesting in the books, though ADWD dragged for everyone and it was obvious GRRM was writing in circles. But everyone has noticed that especially in the show, Jon does absolutely bupkis. His ass is constantly saved by the women in his life, he makes an absolute hash of any power that he is given and doesn’t want it anyway, and his ultimate ending was…. going back to the Night’s Watch (as their idea of satisfying narrative storytelling is to literally put everyone back where they were in the very first episode, apparently). Never mind the fact that there’s no need for the Night’s Watch, but the point is, even the fact that Jon is Rhaegar and Lyanna’s son ended up being relevant for like half an episode. That has been one of the major plot points/secrets of the books (although not so much anymore) and it just…. fizzled out like a damp squib. Dany actually TRIED for multiple seasons to be a good ruler and to learn how to handle power and become a queen, so for her to have to be the one to die for Jon to once again do diddlysquat is… well, as I have said before, the misogyny leaps out. They ended up wasting so much potential and so many other things that were also foreshadowed (and far more convincingly than “wah wah she was gonna go evil!”). For this? So Jon can just go brood in the snow again? Cool.

Not to mention, I find it gross on principle that Dany’s boyfriend had to be the one to kill her, especially after rape/sexual violence/loss of agency was such a big part of her early-season storylines (and how horrifyingly and grossly that has been handled on the show overall). We’re obviously supposed to sympathize with Jon in this scenario and to feel that it is justified to “stop a tyrant” or whatever. Also, if the episode was going to be called “Queenslayer,” why the fuck wasn’t it Jaime fulfilling the valonqar prophecy, another thing they forgot about, and killing Cersei, at great personal grief/cost, to once more stop an insane monarch from burning down King’s Landing? But that, of course, would be actual character development/overall arc, and they preferred to also trash that by having Jaime “killed Aerys Targaryen literally to save half a million innocent people and lived with his reputation being destroyed ever after” Lannister unironically claim that he never cared about the lives of the innocent and only wanted Cersei. After she again tried to kill him and Tyrion like three days ago, not even to mention what they did to Brienne and with that whole arc, but I will have a ragestroke if I think about it too much. 

Basically, the ending wasn’t “bittersweet.” It was tragic, reductionist, ham-handed, hugely disappointing for everyone who put years of investment into these characters, and ended up in the amusing position of making Bran Stark the younger and more beautiful queen who comes to cast Cersei down. He became king because… reasons? Whatever? And he knows literally everything about everyone thanks to being the Three-Eyed Raven, so there’s no way that can go horribly wrong. He has basically done nothing except sit in a wheelchair and look creepy for several years now, his arc has never been remotely about being king, and Isaac Hempstead-Wright himself is apparently on record as saying he genuinely thought it was a joke script when he read it. This after both Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington broke down over learning what happened to their characters/Kit apparently realized it for the first time at the read-through and was horrified. Emilia already talked about wandering for five hours and having a crisis and calling her mom and asking to be talked off the ledge like….. fictional choices/characters completely aside, that’s a gross thing to do to your actors. I know they’re all proud of their work and they have apparently and understandably been defensive about the existence of the petition to rewrite s8, but they’ve all been pretty clear, while still being professional and supportive, that there is stuff that they’re just as much WTF about as we are.

Basically, as everyone keeps saying, the acting, cinematography, visual effects, music, etc was clearly up to as high a standard as ever, but was betrayed fundamentally and comprehensively by this god-awfully shit writing by a couple of hacks who clearly rushed the final season to get on to ruining working on Star Wars. They have also been on record about saying “you can’t do what the audience expects or it’ll get boring blah blah blah,” which is a profoundly flawed storytelling strategy if you’re paranoid and trying to outsmart your audience and do something that nobody has ever thought of because you’re an Intellectual Postmodern Commentator On Our Violent Society. If your audience can guess where a story is going, but are still surprised by major twists along the way that then make sense in hindsight, you’ve done your job. If you’re relying on grimdark and cramming in gimmicky plot twists and deus ex machinas and Shocking Moments rather than authentically developing your story, it’s going to bite you in the ass in a big way, as was just proven. 

Nobody expected a completely happy ending from GoT. But the fact that they went to such lengths, especially in s8, to build up characters/ships (Jonerys, Braime, Gendrya were all torched after major canon moments completely unexpected by fans, especially the latter two – why even include it unless to just be more Tragique, and Gendrya is the only one that has even a chance in the future since half of it didn’t end up idiotically dead) and then just wrecked all of it…. as I’ve said, good endings don’t need to be rainbows and unicorns and kittens. But if you’ve asked eight years of audience investment, there has to be something that makes it worth it and that doesn’t make everyone feel like they were duped and stupid to get involved in the first place. They have been beating the “it’s a hard world and bad things happen to the characters” drum for all they’re worth, but… it’s just bad. You can analyse and ask why the hell they did things and so forth, but it’s bad. At this rate, the show should have either ended after 8x03, or they should have taken the money HBO offered and done the proper 10 episodes and let Bryan Cogman write all of them. He was the only one who appeared to remotely give a shit about the characters, and since D&D wrote the last four episodes themselves, yeah, this disaster is on them.

Fortunately, I left the show years ago and have TNR and am used to ignoring their version of things. And I knew all along that they never really got the characters or the story. But I feel really bad for everyone who has had this thrown back in their face, and it seems like a communal disenchantment with this ending is going to enter the pop-culture consciousness on a possibly unprecedented level. So if GRRM does do the Mad Queen Dany killed by Jon in the books (though he has apparently called the show’s ending “traumatic”), I’ll probably still not like it. He has a chance to sell me it on/justify it to me narratively, which the show categorically failed to do. I don’t think I will, just because as I said, I don’t like anything about it, but yes.

Anyway. This is a long post already, and I probably have more to say still, but it’s pretty obvious I think it’s just really, really bad, and that’s about the essence of it.

[tisfan]

Title: (Consider this) The Hint of the Century @tisfan Square: R1 - KINK: mind-controlled sex WinterIron Bingo: B2 - Losing Religion @27dragons TSB: S4 - Resurrection  Warning: dub-con (ish), anal sex, ghosts, possession, Bucky has a plan, this wasn’t it Pairing: Bucky/Tony Summary: It’s just a box that they found in the crypt of a desecrated old church that rumor says is haunted. What could possibly go wrong?Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107763 Word Count: 7382

For @tonystarkbingo and @winterironbingo

A/n https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Puller_von_Hohenburg Richard and Anton are, in fact, real people who had a real relationship and were burned at the stake for it. Obviously, we’ve fic’d it up a bit, but here’s where the origin story came from. 

“God, this place is probably older than I am,” Bucky said, looking around the demolished remains of the cathedral. Admittedly, they were in central Europe in one of those countries that Americans could never seem to remember the name of, and therefore something that was only five hundred years old were ‘upstart buildings.’ So it probably didn’t matter that they’d wrecked the place.

It really wasn’t their fault, Bucky was going to raise his hand and swear before God that they did not mean to knock down the church.

Some wanna be sorcerer had taken over the joint, raised a bunch of zombies with some magical… thingie… and made a complete mess of the entire area, terrorizing the locals. The Avengers hadn’t been called in until the Ghost dude -- he’d shouted his villainy name as being the Ghost Whisperer, or something -- had brought down a damn aircraft with a resurrected pterodactyl. Bucky wasn’t entirely paying attention to the rant-and-rave, being much too involved in the set up and take down part of the operation -- and he was being dragged away by a combination of local police and Dr. Strange.

Tony was consulting with the local police, which involved a lot of hand-waving, and he was clearly growing more and more annoyed by the second. Finally, he stomped back over to Bucky, rolling his eyes so hard that it looked painful. “Strange says the guy had some kind of magical pendant that he was using to... he wasn’t controlling the zombies with it -- that was the grimoire -- but to protect himself from them, maybe? I don’t know, magic doesn’t make any sense to me. Anyway, he doesn’t have it on him, so it’s got to be in there somewhere.” He waved a still-gauntleted hand toward the half-destroyed old church. “And the locals refuse to muster a crew to search for it, because they think the place is haunted.” Another eye-roll. “We just arrested the guy who was haunting it; you’d think they’d get that. But they don’t. So it’s up to us to dig through the mess and find the pendant.”

“Great,” Bucky said, watching Tony stride around through the rubble, occasionally assisted with a repulsored hop or delicate leap. Watching Tony in that armor was like witnessing a very aggressive ballet dancer. Beautiful, powerful, great ass-- Bucky sighed, shook his head. “Seems a little, I dunno, heretical or somethin’. Don’t you think? Digging through church wreckage? I feel bad enough about smashing the building to bits in the first place.”

Tony glanced back over his shoulder. “Didn’t take you for the religious type, Klondike. It’s just a building, really. And Strange says we really can’t let anyone else walk off with that pendant; we’ll just end up with another villain in three weeks.”

Bucky shrugged, a little sheepishly. “I grew up in in the 20’s and 30’s, Stark. I was an altar boy and everything. Used to take communion and listen to the litany in Latin.” He grumped about that; he’d been back to church a few times since Hydra. His first confession in seventy years had taken almost four hours, and he’d barely been able to talk for two days after he was done with his penance. But the service itself was in English, and that had been weird enough that Bucky had mostly given up the habit.

Tony tipped his head a little, which meant he was conceding the point. “Still, I’m pretty sure this place was deconsecrated long before we got here. Zombies will probably do that.” He crouched, took hold of a fallen beam, and heaved it out of the way. “...Huh. There’s a door in here. I didn’t notice that before.”

(more below the cut)

“Where, in the Sancrist-- oh.” Bucky stopped. “Uh. I think I know where he was getting the zombies from. That probably leads down to the catacombs.” He crossed himself, kissed his thumb, and then pushed the door open, very slowly. Haunted, the locals said. Bucky wondered if the place had been haunted before the Ghost Whisperer showed up.

Tony muttered something and a soft, wide light shone out of his chestplate, dimly illuminating the stairs leading down. He eyed the passageway. “Strange definitely said that closing the grimoire would drop any remaining zombies wandering around. So there’s nothing down there to worry about. Just...”

“Dead people.”

“Yeah, that.” Tony hesitated a moment longer, then sighed and started down the stairs. “Okay. Might as well get it over with.”

Bucky crept down behind him, torn between wanting to hold Tony’s hand, because part of him was always going to be that scared Catholic boy who was positive he was going to hell, and the other half wanting to yell Boo and see if Tony shrieked like a little kid, because that would be funny as shit.

“Did the locals specifically say what was haunting, around here, I mean, are we talking angry poltergeist that throws the bones of the dead at us, or just scary sounds at night?”

He was working himself right up, that’s exactly what he was doing. Given that they’d been fighting zombies in the morning, complete with the whole hunger for brains and the horrible smell, he was pretty sure he could be excused.

Still…

“Nope, just ‘haunted’ and ‘cursed’, over and over,” Tony said, sounding annoyed. “There was a bit in there about... it didn’t translate well. The two in one body? The two who became one? Something like that.” He glanced back as he reached the bottom, flashing Bucky that insouciant smirk. “So maybe there’s only two ghosts. I bet we can take ‘em.”

“Lovely,” Bucky said. “I don’t really want to take them anywhere. It’s not like it’s their fault that they’re dead. Someone mucking around with the natural order of shit. Oh-- look at that!”

Bucky turned as something glinted and glittered. It probably should have been blue, reflecting the arc-reactor, but it wasn’t. It was golden, sunshine, and pure. Beautiful. A tomb, carved from marble and inlaid with gold.

On the top of what looked like a double-sized burial chamber were two marble statuettes, naked and beautifully done, almost lifelike, reaching for each other but never quite touching.

“Wow.”

“You said it,” Tony agreed. He came over to look at the tableau. “There’s no dust on them.”

“It’s beautiful,” Bucky said, staring up at the statue. While gorgeously done -- Michelangelo's David might well have been jealous -- the expressions on the statues faces were of people who were in terrible pain. Grief, or despair. Bucky’s gaze was drawn to the space between their hands. “Sad, though.” He walked all the way around the statuary, and then-- “Huh, what’s this, I wonder.” He pointed to a reliquary at the end. There were strange marks on it, but the container didn’t look locked or anything.

“How should I know?” Tony wondered. “You think the pendant might be in there?”

Bucky reached for the box; gold and colored enamel, pictures. He squinted, picked it up. “There’s a story here.” He turned the box around in his hands until he found the beginning, an ancient series of events. A wedding, but the man was looking over his new wife’s shoulder-- at her brother, maybe? The estranged couple fighting, the man fleeing to be with his lover. “God, they were burned at the stake.” Bucky shuddered, still looking at the pictures.

“Well, that’s horrible. What are they doing in the church? I thought heretics weren’t allowed proper burial, or something like that?” Tony came closer, shining his light a little more clearly on the box.

“I don’t know,” Bucky said, his fingers grazing over the lid. “I wonder what’s in it.”

“You probably shouldn’t open that,” Tony said sharply.

“I just want to see,” Bucky protested. “It’s just a box, what harm can there be in looking inside a box?”

“Have you not paid any attention to the movies we’ve watched? At all? There are dozens of movies that explain why it’s a bad idea to open random artifacts in a cursed graveyard.”

“If I took your movies seriously, I wouldn’t go to the beach, either,” Bucky said, getting his nails under the lid and prying at it. “Man-eating sharks and everything.” Ahhh, there, there was a little catch under one side, and he pressed it. “Ha, got it!”

The box opened with a soft hiss and a delicate blue mist flowed out, all shiny, pretty, something highly magical is going on here fog. Great special effects, Bucky had time to think before he inhaled--

Richard von Hohenburg opened his eyes for the first time in six hundred years, looking around. The church, where they’d been tortured, forced to confess, burned, and then cursed. As if what they’d done was so terrible.

He’d been locked in a tiny space, no body, no anything. No contact with the realms of the dead. And sensing that Anton was nearby, sensing it, but not being able to touch him, tell him, apologize, nothing.

But he had eyes now. He could see now.

“Anton?”

                                                        ***

“It’s just a box, what harm can there be in looking inside a box?”

Tony nearly choked on his own spit. “Have you not paid any attention to the movies we’ve watched? At all?” To be fair, Tony hadn’t been paying a lot of attention during those movies, himself, largely because he’d spent them surreptitiously watching Bucky. Not that he had any intention of ever telling Bucky that. “There are dozens of movies that explain why it’s a bad idea to open random artifacts in a cursed graveyard.”

“If I took your movies seriously, I wouldn’t go to the beach, either. Man-eating sharks and everything.” Bucky was peering around the edges and seams of the box, and Tony couldn’t quite suppress a foreboding feeling.

“Maybe we should--”

“Ha, got it!” Bucky flashed Tony a grin, that bright, boyish smile that lit up the room and seemed to dissolve at least half a century’s worth of suffering from Bucky’s eyes.

Which meant that Tony saw, before Bucky, the glowing blue mist that curled up out of the box. “Bucky, back away!” But the mist had already slithered into Bucky’s mouth and nose like a hundred sparkling snakes, and was spreading rapidly.

Tony snapped his helmet closed. “Bucky! Are you okay?”

Bucky’s eyes met his, and for a moment, their normal stormcloud gray flickered and flashed the same blue as the mist.

“Shit, Bu--” The mist was seeping right through his armor, because of course it was, because fucking magic, and this was why Tony was never going on a magic mission again without--

Anton Mätzler gasped his first breath in centuries, since the smoke of the fires had choked out his last. He staggered back, away from the cursed relic with its compartments, keeping him from his beloved even in death.

“Anton?”

Anton’s head turned toward the sound of his name, a voice that was both utterly unfamiliar and at once well-known. “Richard, love?”

“What’s… what’s happened to us?” Richard was staring down at his hands, one was normal, human, if wearing strange gloves with no fingers, but the other-- the other was gleaming silver, unyielding metal, but as flexible as a normal hand. “And you, Anton, my dearest, look at yourself, clad in armor, like a knight?”

Anton looked down at himself. It was a strange armor indeed, with more of magic about it than metalsmith, ghostly messages and symbols writ across his very vision. “A strange knight, indeed,” he said uneasily. “I wonder how one removes such armor.” No sooner had he spoken the words than the armor... unfolded itself, spilling him out into the dank air of -- the crypts? Long abandoned, the sacred tombs fallen into disrepair and rot.

Anton felt no pity for them. Not after what they’d done to him, and to Richard.

He turned toward Richard, hands outstretched. “My love... I know not how this miracle has come to pass, but I can only be joyful to see you again. To touch your hand, your face...”

“I must say, you don’t look quite like yourself, but--” Richard came over to stand directly in front of him, clasped Anton’s hands in his own, and spread them, admiring. “It is a good form, nonetheless. And quite well-displayed in those strange garments. T’was always your brilliant mind that most captivated me, my dearest, although I did not object to a lithe form beneath me.”

Anton laughed. “Nor did I object to being beneath you, though it was your kindness and patience for which I first loved you.”

“Hey, hey, hey, sorry to interrupt, guys--” the voice that came from Richard’s throat was the same, but had a faster, less formal way of talking, an almost incomprehensible rumbling accent. “Tony-- Tony, you okay in there? Stark. Come on--”

Anton shook his head. “I know not this Tony--” And then it seemed he was rudely pushed aside, shoved to the back of his own consciousness, though he felt his throat working as he said, “I’m here, I’m here, Buckaroo, I’m okay. I think.”

Anton tried to push his way back to the forefront. “What sorcery is this?”

“I’m fuckin’ possessed,” Richard complained. “I owe you, like a hundred fuckin’ beers man, when we get out of this--”

“Stop! These forms are ours now,” Richard continued, face working uncomfortably as he seized control of the spirits that shared their bodies. “We have earned this, through countless centuries of torment. You will not--”

“Uh, no, dude, no, just-- ow!”

Richard went to one knee, heaving as if he was going to cast up his accounts, but when he looked back up, from his position on the floor, the twinkle in his eye and the suggestive smirk was entirely Richard’s own. There was a time when Anton would have killed for that look; a time where he had died for it.

Anton felt his own co-habitant jostling him, and wrestled for control. “Bucky! What the hell did you do to him, you--” Anton twisted back into place. “Please,” he said. “We died for our love, only to be held forever apart, unable to so much as whisper. Grant us a short while, at least!” With all his strength, he summoned his memories of the torture -- beatings and burnings, heavy chains and the ducking stool -- and pushed them at his host.

The body stumbled, and it was not Anton’s doing. “Christ,” the other said. “That’s--”

“Here, I’m here, my darling,” Richard said, and it was beyond heaven to be clasped in strong arms, willing to hold him, eager and exalting. “Let me kiss those honeyed lips, so long denied me.”

A kiss, tender and sweet, was pressed against Anton’s forehead, and even if the body was not his own, he felt it, keenly. Doubled, even, with a taste of regret, guilt… longing, underneath, until the sensation was almost unbearable.

Anton pressed into Richard’s arms, and if the feel of the metal one at his back was strange and unyielding, the gentle caresses of the other more than made up for it. “I love you,” Anton whispered, aching with the strength and sincerity of that emotion. “I could not recant that, even in the flames.”

“Nor did I,” Richard promised him. “Thus, this elaborate prison to keep us apart.” He spat through his fingers, protection from evil magics. “And I have you back, in my arms again, and nothing will keep me from you.” He stroked his fingers through Anton’s hair. “Say you will still be mine?”

“I have never been anything else,” Anton swore, “not since the moment of our first meeting.”

“Uh, hey--” The spirit that inhabited Richard’s body shivered and shuddered, “look, no, come on, romantical as all this is, I ain’t-- that’s Tony’s body and this one’s mine, and we’re gonna have to take up habitation again, an’ okay, no, seriously, that’s not fair, get out.. Get out of my memories!”

Anton felt his host’s frantic terror and fiery rage and laughed, delighted. “I believe these two hold each other in near as much esteem as we feel for one another,” he confided.

“It’s not like that--” Richard’s host snarled. “I ain’t nothin’ to him, an’ I don’t…”

“Shhhh, it shall all be well, my host,” Richard said. “You hunger for him, and you shall have him. It will be well. We will treat him… very well.”

“He doesn’t hunger; are you insane?” Anton’s host snapped. “Look, I’m sorry you got killed and locked up in a box for so long, but he’s not interested and you can’t just--”

Anton wrapped mental arms around his host. “My Richard does not lie,” he promised. “Nor are we mad, except with wanting each other. Let us have this, and enjoy your own desires come into fruition.”

“Tony--” and there was not a lot of change in the longing in Richard’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know, maybe it’s me. I can’t… I can’t fight it.”

“Bucky.” Anton’s hand tightened on Richard’s. “It’s, it’s okay. I don’t mind. Not if it’s you.”

And then, with an eager, fervid groan, Richard’s mouth was on his; a kiss of no finesse, no sweetness, but instead all avid hunger, devouring Anton, as if they could become one, as if they could hold each other tight enough to never have to let go.

Anton moaned, surrendering himself to that kiss, wrapping his arms around Richard’s shoulders, clasping at Richard’s clothes and hair and arms, anything he could reach, scrambling to press closer and closer yet, as if determined to merge their bodies into one.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, Tony, it’s okay,” and that was not Richard, but as he’d stopped fighting, and was letting those hands touch and caress, seemed to know how to unfasten the strange clothing they both wore, had stopped resisting and was now actively helping… well, it was good. It would be well.

Anton’s host -- Tony, apparently, and how strange that their names were so similar -- came forward again, more gently this time, showing Anton the strange clasps and catches that held Richard’s clothes together. “Yeah,” he said. “You always do. I’ve got you, too.”

Too hungry for his lover’s kiss to speak, Anton pressed their mouths together again, tongue flicking at the corner of Richard’s mouth, teasing and tasting.

Richard cupped his jaw with one hand, his thumb teasing at the corner of Anton’s mouth, coaxing it open. “Ain’t you sweet,” he murmured and Anton didn’t even know anymore, who was who, but it didn’t matter, those clever fingers were stroking his skin, raking passion up from the coals that had long since been banked.

Richard ran those hands down his chest, thumbing nipples erect, and then, “Beltpouch, second from the left,” he said, which made no sense whatsoever to Anton, but his host -- Tony -- was already sliding their hand into the indicated-- pocket? On a belt?

What Tony found there was some sort of packet, shiny like metal but softer, and whatever it was, it amused Tony greatly. “Really?” he said. “On a mission?”

“Look, you wanna go in dry with some randy old ghosts, be my guest,” Bucky said, and that didn’t make sense either, but that metal hand was curling around Anton’s member, stroking light. The metal wasn’t cold, either, but warmer than human flesh, and there was the faintest shuddering to it, a vibration from deep inside that stimulated and aroused. “But I done my share of trench quickies, an’ I’d rather be prepared.”

Still amused, Tony conceded the point. A deft twist of their hands opened the packet, and then Tony retreated a little, shooting Anton a burst of memories demonstrating the purpose of the contents -- it was like oil, it seemed, for this very purpose. Anton poured some over his fingers and -- oh, Tony had not been exaggerating; it was so much better than oil. Slicker, smoother. Anton reached between his legs and pushed the stuff into his hole, shuddering at the sweet burn of it.

“God,” Richard said. “You’re so beautiful.”

And Richard was nudging Anton over onto his knees, helping spread the oil, rubbing at the opening of his body eagerly, spreading it, tugging. “Careful now, you gotta-- gentle. It’s… well, I ain’t gonna apologize, but it’s a lot.”

“Yes, I can see that,” Anton returned, teasing. “But I have waited too long to delay any more than necessary. I would have you, my love, and soon.”

One finger pressed inside, thrusting, the slick easing the way, smooth and silky and perfect. Then a second, and that burned, but Anton had experienced fires much more potent, and all it did was make him whine and twist his hips, urging.

The fingers withdrew and then, yes, there it was, pressing urgently on him, and he bent his back, fingers clenching at the stone underneath him.

“Tony--”

“Yes,” they gasped, and Anton wasn’t sure which of them it was, speaking. “I need you, now.”

A strangled moan, hands gripping Anton’s hips, and he was pulled, slowly, impaling himself on Richard’s fine tool, filling him up, stretching him out. One hand went to the small of Anton’s back, rubbing in soft, soothing circles, tracing the line of his spine, and then gripped the curly mass of his hair, tugging his head back.

Anton gasped, curving his back even more, keening at the overload of sensations. “Fill me,” he begged, all shame long since gone, burnt up in their holy fire until all that was left of him was wanton desire, a burning need hotter than any flame. “My love, please!”

“I have you, I--” It was all hard, urgent rhythm then, being thrust into and pulled back from. The body that covered his was unfamiliar, and at the same time, that same, tender lover that Anton had given everything to, and been everything for. They moved together, hurried, racing toward release, eager to share in each other, the way they always had, and it was sweet, and rough, and just this side of blissful.

They moved together, push and pull, rocking together, words unimportant, only feelings, and the fire inside them, until..

“Oh, yes, yes, my darling!”

Anton cried out, groping for his own member; it took no more than a half-dozen frantic strokes before he was spilling, his whole body aching as it tried to clench down around Richard’s still-firm erection. He shivered and shuddered with the force of his release, a sudden wash of relaxation sweeping over him, like a deluge of warm spring rain.

Richard matched him, then moved slowly with him, stroking him down, soothing and sweet, and then he stiffened, biting down on Anton’s shoulder to stifle his scream. “Oh, oh, my darling,” he was saying, kissing the skin, as if tasting the imprint he’d left, his soft tongue stealing away the sting. “It’s always been you. Always you. Forever.”

“Until the end of days,” Anton promised, lassitude creeping in. “My only love.” How he longed for a bed, or even a rough pallet, where they could lie together and rest, tangled in one another’s arms.

“Look, a bed we got,” Richard said, apparently negotiating with his host. “Jus’ need to finish our mission here, yeah? There’s a guy, he hurt a lot of people, an’-- we’re looking for a pendant, about -- so big? You seen anything like that?”

“The priest who tried us wore an amulet of that size,” Anton recalled, sitting back on his heels. “He would have been buried...” Anton considered the catacombs, then pointed. “In that chamber.”

“Thanks,” Richard said, and offered him a hand up, already finding and pulling on his clothes. He made a face, apologetic, and handed Anton a-- surprisingly soft -- pale white shirt with no buttons and no laces. “T’ clean up--”

Anton might have protested, but what else was there to use? He wiped away the oil and the rest of it, rolling the shirt up around it. His host rolled their eyes. “Come on,” Tony said, “let’s find this pendant and get out of here.”

That chamber had been half-heartedly cleaned, and someone had set up a bedroll, and a desk. The cellar had been partially cracked open, perhaps in the battle, but Richard’s host was able to lift a portion of the collapsed rock out of the way.

“Our ghost whisperer,” Richard’s host said. “So, he probably already ransacked this place. You see anything in this mess, Tony?”

Anton moved over to the desk, looking it over. It was a spindly little thing, flimsy and unimpressive. He pulled open the first drawer and shuffled aside a few scraps of paper, and--

Anton backed away. “I don’t like it,” he said decisively. The pendant gleamed with power, sharp-edged enough to separate a man from his own shadow. He couldn’t quite take his eyes off it.

Richard went to him, as if to shield him from the amulet. It buzzed with surging energies, gleaming. “That is what our forms came to find,” he said. “To destroy it, or see it safely locked away, so no one else would suffer what we have suffered. They are, I believe, good men.”

Tony grunted. “Well, that’s the goal,” he said. He looked around. “We need something to put it in, until we can make other arrangements.”

“The box,” Anton said, pointing back the way they’d come. “The prison held us for centuries; it will surely hold this amulet for as long as you need.”

“I shall retrieve it,” Richard said, and he leaned in to kiss Anton’s cheek, soft and sweet. It shouldn’t have hurt to watch him walk away, he was barely going out of sight, and Anton would be able to hear him the whole time. But still, it ached with concern, throbbed with fear. The last time he’d let Richard out of his sight, they’d been separated, imprisoned. Told always that if he was willing to recant, to confess, to point the finger at his lover, that he would be spared. Told that Richard had recanted.

Anton had never believed that. Ever.

And, in the end, he was thus proven. Faithful, through all the long-- “How long, even, has it been, good host? What is the year?”

“What? It’s twenty-nineteen. Er, two thousand nineteen.” Tony, too, was watching the way Richard had gone, though Anton rather suspected it was the host who occupied Tony’s thoughts.

“That is… quite a long while to be imprisoned and alone,” Anton said. “We died in the year of our Lord, 1482. Richard was a knight, from Switzerland. I was his servant… and his downfall. He gave me gifts, clothing and jewels, and-- I looked too high for my station, so the church… declared us heretics.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony said. “Things are... better, now.”

“This thing ain’t exactly light,” Richard’s host complained, coming back into the room, “but I guess it’ll do as good as any. Strange’ll make heads or tails out of the whole mess anyway. Pop it in the box.”

Anton reached out and then hesitated, not quite able to make himself touch the horrible thing. Tony took over, scooping it up. It felt cold, much colder than mere metal and stone should be, even in a crypt.

There was a tug, like something pulling at his soul, loosening it.

“You know you have to go, right?” Richard’s host said, and it was very gentle. He reached out, touched his flesh hand to the other side of the medallion. “Not back in the box, but… you died. It’s time t’ move on. Tony can make a big church donation, get the bishop t’ do Last Rites, or whatever.”

Anton’s vision blurred. “Must we? We’ve only just come together again, and I’ve missed you, my love, so much.”

“Wish for it,” Richard’s host said. “You can feel it, right? The power the amulet’s got over the dead. Stay together, all eternity. No heaven or hell without the other.”

“Richard?” Anton wasn’t even sure what he was asking, but he needed to see the spark of his lover in those strange gray eyes, one last time.

“I am here,” Richard said. “And I will-- always protect you. Even if I failed before, I can-- together. Always.”

“Always,” Anton promised through his tears. “Until the end of days.”

There was another tug, and--

“Well, that’s… look at you, all non-corporeal and shit,” Richard’s host said, although he wasn’t really the host anymore, and Anton couldn’t seem to bring himself to call him Bucky, like he was some sort of pet deer or something.

Nor was Anton still in Tony’s body. Rather, they floated above the two men, and when he looked at Richard, he saw -- a ghost, like a wisp of smoke caught in a Richard-shaped glass, but it was Richard, the countenance he’d known and loved. “Oh, my love.” He reached out and, incorporeal as Richard looked, he felt solid, even warm, to Anton’s touch.

“My most beloved,” Richard said. “Always. We will have it, our forever.”

“Uh, so, like, it was good to meet you an’ all, but we really need to get this thing gone and safe,” Bucky said. “An’ like, totally take a shower.”

“I’m seconding the shower idea,” Tony agreed. “You two lovebirds have a good time, now. Don’t spook anyone who doesn’t deserve it.” The ghosts barely even glanced at them, then they were fading away entirely, hands twined and hearts in their eyes.

Tony dropped the pendant into the box that Bucky was still holding and twisted the cover into place. “Right, well. That’s that, then, I guess.”

“It… uh, it was somethin’, all right,” Bucky said, not quite meeting Tony’s gaze, cheeks and neck flushing.

And they were both standing around in an abandoned and half-destroyed church’s catacombs in their underwear. Because they’d let a couple of ghosts use them to fuck.

Yeah, that was going to land pretty high on the Weird Shit rankings, and Tony was just going to hope Bucky attributed the embarrassing stuff Tony’d said to ghost. That would probably be for the best. “So. We should probably, you know. Get dressed. And get this back to Strange.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “Totally that’s what we should do.” His hand fluttered a moment, like some wounded butterfly, in the space between them, and then dropped it before he could make contact. “Uh. Are you okay?”

“What? Fine,” Tony said, only a little brittle. “Never better. Well. Tired. And I really want that shower.” He eased past Bucky and went back to where his armor waited, his clothes still crumpled on the floor where they’d been dropped. He picked up his jeans and pulled them on.

“You know,” Bucky said, staring at his tactical armor, all over the place. “This is why Strange can portal. I gotta put all this shit back on… for what, ten minutes while we cross town?” Bucky gave Tony a grin, a little hesitant, like he wasn’t sure that Tony was going to laugh at his jokes anymore.

Tony grinned back. It wasn’t like he’d forgotten how to fake being relaxed and easy with someone he’d seen naked. And he didn’t want to stop laughing at Bucky’s jokes, anyway. They were friends, these days; once the awkward wore off, Tony wanted them to stay that way. “I mean, you could stroll across town shirtless,” he suggested. “Earn a lot of local goodwill that way.”

“I am shirtless,” Bucky pointed out. “You… uh… yeah, I have a tac-vest, but. My undershirt was sacrificed to the cause. It’s good, it’s great. I mean… we’re okay, yeah?”

“Of course,” Tony said. He pulled on his t-shirt and stepped back into the armor. “I mean, awkward. But no reason not to be okay.”

Bucky just nodded at that, threw the tac vest on and didn’t bother to lock it in place, showing off arms, and ribs, and the very bottom strip of his belly between his pants and the bottom of the vest. He bent down and hefted the case under one arm, and his gun in the other hand. He didn’t say anything then, either, just jerked his chin toward the exit, watching Tony with eyes that seemed somehow… thoughtful.

Tony wondered what those thoughts were, but shut that down almost immediately. It didn’t matter. They were going back to their separate rooms at the hotel, take hot showers, and catch a night’s sleep. And then in the morning, everything would be back to normal. He nodded and made his way back out of the church.

                                                          ***

Bucky couldn’t decide if he was feeling satisfied and smug, or guilty, and the two extremes were yanking at him. He showered, water hot enough to boil a lobster, until his skin was pink and stinging. It would fade soon enough. It always did.

Ug. This was not how he wanted any of this shit to go down.

Tony had been drawing back the whole time between when the spirits departed and when he’d faux-cheerfully waved Bucky off into the next room.

They needed to talk.

And god damn, if there was one thing Bucky was really, really bad at, it was talking. And in that subset of bad things about talking, there was talking about feelings. Bucky hadn’t had bloody damn feelings in so long, figuring out what to do with them sometimes took him all damn day.

Sit a plate in front of him, and he’d eat. Ask him what he wanted to watch on the television and he’d freeze up for an hour or more, trying to decide.

But letting Tony get back to the Compound without talking about this, or making a terrible attempt at talking about this, and Bucky wouldn’t see him for a week or more, while he hid down in the ‘shop and pretended that nothing ever happened, he was fine, why?

“Fuck.”

Well, yeah, and that’s exactly what had happened, too.

Bucky yanked on a pair of soft sweatpants, a tee, and a hoodie, his preferred clothing for between missions.

Knocking was pointless. Tony would pretend not to hear him, if he didn’t want to talk. Bucky was going to go with the Natasha method of talking shit out. It took him exactly six seconds to scramble the hotel’s expensive key-card entry system and he let himself into Tony’s room.

Tony… was still in the shower.

Which was, in and of itself, a little worrisome. Was he washing… Bucky off?

Bucky threw himself down on Tony’s bed and prepared to wait it out.

Not too much later, the water shut off. Another moment or two while he dried off, and then the bathroom door opened, and Tony walked out, stark naked, still scrubbing a towel over his hair and humming something under his breath.

“Oh shit! Fuck!” Tony practically teleported back three feet when he spotted Bucky on the bed, jostling the towel down to cover himself, more or less. Mostly less. “What the fuck!”

“Oh, my god, stop screaming, it’s just me,” Bucky said, sitting up. “And I literally just saw… all of that, like not two hours ago.”

Tony pressed a hand to his chest, the other one still holding the towel over his groin. “Jesus, don’t do that shit. Christ, you take in a handful of spies and assassins and suddenly there’s no privacy anymore.” He grabbed up a pair of sweats and pulled them on quickly, half-turning in an effort to preserve his modesty that only gave Bucky a really fantastic view of his ass. “What do you want?”

“You--” Bucky said, and Tony shot him a look so incredulously disbelieving that Bucky amended his statement somewhat. “To talk this out with me, Tony. I mean, maybe you didn’t notice, or somethin’ but we just had sex. I think… we should talk about it.”

Tony huffed, then opened the mini-fridge and pulled out a couple of bottles of beer. Local stuff, so it probably wasn’t swill. He tossed one toward Bucky. “What, you want a Yelp review? ‘Four stars; excellent technique and presentation but the ambiance left something to be desired.’”

“That was shitty technique,” Bucky said. “I totally would have-- it was rushed and relatively unconcerned about your pleasure. I’m just saying. If I was… in control of the situation.”

Tony took a swig from his bottle, throat working as he swallowed, his still-damp hair dripping water down his chest. “If you were in control of the situation,” he said, “it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Well, no,” Bucky admitted, “because I ain’t crass enough-- okay, no, not true, I’m totally crass enough t’ ask a fella for a quickie after a near-death experience. Jus’, you know, not… you. I wouldn’t do you like that. An’ I’m sorry as hell that it went down this way.”

“This way?” Tony was giving him that sardonic look, the one he used a lot when he was being snarky at the press. “What way would you have preferred, dare I ask?”

“I had a plan,” Bucky muttered. “I know they say Steve’s the man with the plan, but that idiotic bastard jumps out of airplanes with no chute, he doesn’t have a plan, he’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of the Titanic. I… I had a plan. Thought it might have been goin’ well. These days, we split off for a mission, I’m usually your backup. Which is good, right? You trust me… trusted. Me.”

Bucky sighed. Tony probably didn’t trust him at all, anymore. And Bucky didn’t blame him, not one bit, really. It wasn’t his fault, but-- but it was. He was the one who opened the damn box, wasn’t he? And he was the one who didn’t fight it, because he wanted Tony, and it was so damn easy to just let Richard have his way, have his body, have Tony’s body under him.

God damn it.

Frowning, Tony sank down onto the little desk chair. He rolled the bottle between his hands, intent. “You had a plan,” he repeated slowly. “For... me?”

“Yeah,” Bucky admitted. “We already-- the concert series, this spring, that we went to? I know you like music, an’ I’m still tryin’ to figure out what I like, so… we had fun, right? That was fun?”

“Yeah, that was great, I-- Wait, that was... part of the plan? The plan where... What, exactly, is the end goal of this plan?” Tony’s eyes couldn’t possibly get any more focused.

“The plan, Tony--” Bucky said, and he couldn’t quite resist the urge to roll his eyes, “was for us t’, you know, figure out if we liked each other. I mean, that’s what people do, when they like a fella, think he’s somethin’ else. If we like spendin’ time together, not the whole saving the world shit, that gets old, but… normal stuff. An’ then, I was plannin’ to see if maybe you liked me back, an’ we could spend more time together. I got… I got so much time back, Tony, and I just want to live it, an’ share it with someone special, and I thought… maybe that could be you.”

Tony’s lips moved, soundlessly, repeating the phrase someone special to himself. “You’re talking about dating,” he said, looking startled. “The plan was to date me?”

The plan itself had gone up to dating.

That Bucky had wild and crazy flights of fancy after that, well, he didn’t need to dump his whole heart on the ground right this second, did he?

“The plan was to find out if we wanted to date. Or… whatever,” Bucky said, waving a hand. “Who knows, you couldda been terrible to hang out with. Not… I mean, you weren’t, you were great, it was… yes. The plan was to date you. I thought it was goin’ well, and now it’s all smashed to shit, an’... it wasn’t my fault, except that it was, and Tony, I am so, so sorry.”

Apparently he did need to dump his whole heart on the ground, right this second.

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot,” Tony said. He was staring at Bucky, though at least he didn’t look angry or disgusted. “Those were dates. How did I not-- Well, obviously, because I was too busy trying not to let on how much I wanted them to be dates to realize they actually were.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Idiot,” he reiterated.

“So, uh, it was goin’ well?” Bucky asked, because Tony was getting really deep into self-recriminations, and that wasn’t the direction Bucky wanted this to go, at all.

Tony lowered his hand, and he was smiling, not that practiced press smirk, but a wry, almost hesitant smile that was purely Tony. “It was going well,” he said. “Maybe a little slower than it needed to be.”

Bucky blinked. “I tried for a kiss once, and you backed off an’ asked me if you had cheese on your shirt,” he pointed out. “I thought… I dunno. But you didn’t say no, the next time I asked you to go somewhere, so--”

“I thought I was imagining that,” Tony said. “I thought... overactive imagination, it’s a thing, with me. Also, I did in fact have cheese on my shirt,” he pointed out. “Your first kiss with someone shouldn’t be with them looking like a slob who’d just nosedived into the nachos.”

“They were really good nachos, though,” Bucky said. “I was brushing crumbs out of my shirt, too.” He inched a little closer, probably not being as smooth as he would like to be. “So, what-- should my first kiss with someone be like?”

“It probably should also not be because you’ve been possessed by a couple of horny ghosts,” Tony said. “I think... I think maybe it should be after you’ve told someone you like them, just so you’re both on the same page. And then it should be...” Tony swept forward, fingers curling into Bucky’s hair, palm cupping the back of his neck as Tony’s mouth brushed over Bucky’s lightly once, twice, three times, teasing, drawing away when Bucky tried to lean into it, and then finally lingering, tongue flicking against Bucky’s lip. “A little like that,” Tony finished, a little breathless.

“Just a little like that?” Bucky asked, his thumb brushing against Tony’s jaw, coaxing him to stay, to sit down, to-- enjoy the moment, Barnes, you didn’t think you were going to get to have one.

“Well, you know, there’s a lot of variables, it’s impossible to account for all of them at once.” Tony hadn’t pulled away, was tipping his head into the light caress. “Lots of different ways a kiss can go, you know.” His eyes were wide and dark and full of something like wonder.

“We could, uh, try some of them out, if that… was a thing you wanted to explore?” Bucky suggested, hopefully.

“We’ll have to test all of them,” Tony said thoughtfully. “Probably more than once. Science requires repetition, you know.”

“It’s only science if you write it down,” Bucky said. “An’ uh, I was thinkin’ this was more of a what happens in Zurich stays in Zurich kinda sitch here. I mean, not the dating. Or the kissing, that’s… I’m totally open t’ you know, having the team. Well, know. Not that Nat doesn’t already, but… spies, what can you do? But… I think we can skip on the whole sexual possession post-mission report.”

“Uh, yeah, that’s fair, that’s... definitely not anything anyone else needs to know about,” Tony said. “Went down into the catacombs, found his camp and the necklace, the end.” He brushed his thumb down the side of Bucky’s neck, considering. “So what’s your candidate, then? For a kiss?”

“Oh, I kinda like those standing kisses, pushin’ someone back against a wall, and kiss til your legs get all weak an’ the wall’s the only thing holdin’ you up,” Bucky said. “That’s my favorite.”

“Yeah?” Tony looked around. “Oh look. A wall.” He hooked his hand in Bucky’s shirt and tugged until they were both upright. “Want to show me?”

"I would, in fact, love to," Bucky growled. New plan, his brain decided. How to get Tony out of these pants and into the bed, a three phase project.

[areallyyellowmango]

Ey yoooo! You're art is amazeballs! I'm in AWE of your mad skillz, &hello my fellow TWDG!DuckLives AU fan?!? I'm not the only one who wishes that?!? Also, wild concept but, what do you think an AU where Both Duck & Sarah survive to continue traveling with Clem &AJ would be like? Sarah in S3? S4? How would things change or stay the same d'ya think?

Hey there, anon! Thank you so much! ♥ I’m glad you like my AU!

That’s a really good question actually. I hadn’t thought into it very much, but now that you’ve mentioned it, Sarah would be a very interesting character to see develop and grow, especially with both Duck and Clem around.

Here’s some headcanons for you! ♥(I got kinda carried away with this so there’s quite a lot, I hope you don’t mind fuhishfufhs)

By the end of season 2, Clementine’s relationship with both Sarah and Duck would change drastically based on whether she shoot Kenny or let him kill Jane, and so would their character developments from them on.

They’re both appalled if you choose to shoot Kenny. Since Sarah had developed a good bond with him, and Jane always regarded her as a liability, she would be taken aback by Clementine choosing to save Jane out of the two, especially after what she’d done to AJ. The scene would also bring her back the traumatic memory of what happened to her father, giving her an anxiety attack, as Duck mourns over his father’s dead body and confronts Clem about what she’d done. In this scenario, Duck and Clem’s relationship is greatly damaged for the time being, but can be restored later as Duck gets older and understands why Clementine made that call.

If you chose to let Kenny kill Jane, Duck is relieved, albeit shocked by what his father had done. Sarah is frightened of Kenny’s ruthlessness, and is distrustful of him from then on. You aren’t given the opportunity to leave Kenny behind, but you can still go into Wellington without him later.

A while later, into season 3, Clementine cuts some of Sarah’s hair for safety, like Lee taught her to. 

Sarah lost her glasses while fleeing from a pack of walkers, so her vision isn’t as good as it used to be and she’s struck with dizziness constantly, another factor to keep her away from fights most of the time.

If Clem and the others stayed with Kenny instead of going into Wellington, he not only teaches Clementine how to drive, but also teaches Duck how to properly handle a rifle, which he picks up surprisingly fast. Before dying, he also teaches him how to hunt.

As age comes to him, Duck quickly abandons his loud, childish ways, and becomes a strong survivor and a cunning marksman. Kenny jokes that his little duckling is now flying off the water. 

Kenny also teaches all of them how to properly handle a baby and all the care needed to keep AJ healthy and happy. Even though it takes a while for her to pick up on everything - and to be able to even carry AJ without getting a bit panicky -, Sarah loves looking out for him once she gets the hang of it. It takes her mind off of everything else going on around her, and they can all agree she looks like a complete different person when she allows herself to relax, picks AJ up in her arms and gives him cute baby talks.

Being older than Clem, Sarah is the first one she could possibly confide to when she ‘starts bleeding’. Sarah is a little (and by a little I mean utterly) embarrassed to talk about that, since she wasn’t ever given a proper explanation on why that happened to her either, but she tries her best to convince Clem that it’s not a big deal - it’s just a bit gross and painful.

When they tried to scavenge the New Frontier’s medicine for AJ, Sarah didn’t take part in it. Despite how much she loved AJ, the thought of going against their rules was beyond her. Of course, she wouldn’t tell on them, but she wouldn’t go along with their plans either.

Sarah was reluctant to leave The New Frontier after Clementine and Duck were kicked out for stealing their medicine. She didn’t want to live out in the woods anymore; without food, or water, or safety, and wanted a place to call home - and to stay with AJ in his final moments. She tried to convince them to take them back, but of course they wouldn’t listen.

Sarah attempts to escape with AJ once she realizes he’s alive and well, and that the illness is gone. The New Frontier catches her in act, and questions her for her treachery. They’re both left at the McCaroll Ranch, not long after.

When Clementine and Duck meet the Garcias, Duck gets to experience what it feels like to be jealous for the first time in his life, as he can’t get over Clem and Gabe’s strangely close bond and tries to step in the middle of it at every given opportunity. He blames it on protective sibling instinct, since he didn’t see Clem under a romantic light.

Come season 4, Clem and Duck have reunited with both AJ and Sarah at the ranch. Duck’s hunting has managed to keep them alive for a good while, even though they need to raction their food very strictly in order to stay alive.

Sarah is nearing young adulthood, and is now more secure of herself and can manage her emotions better, even if anxiety still strikes her more often than not. She can now kill walkers with more ease when necessary, and has a small knife as a weapon of choice; sharp enough to kill, but compact enough to not feel like a killer’s weapon.

She has developed good cooking and nursing skills, and even though they rarely have any medicine, she can improvise stitches and patches with very little material, one of the very few things she got out of The New Frontier, as she sometimes watched Dr. Lingard work when he was not drugged. 

Sarah and Duck become polar opposite influences on AJ. Duck would be in favor of teaching him to preserve his own life at all costs, never hesitate, and justify his actions. Sarah, on the other hand, has never been supportive of violence and would stand by thinking before acting, and only resorting to killing when absolutely necessary. This polar dynamic would affect either of them after AJ pulled the trigger on Marlon at the school’s yard, depending on Clementine’s choice to teach AJ to justify or regret his actions.

At Ericson, Sarah wouldn’t talk much to the rest of the kids, and would rather stay on her own as she usually did. She would be very interested in bonding with Ruby, as she also shared the passion for nursing, but would be very intimidated by her attitude at first. Clementine would help her befriend Ruby, who she soon realizes to be really nice and sweet.

Duck wouldn’t get along with anyone at first, mostly because he’s very cold and shut to anyone else except Sarah, Clem and AJ. Clem could also help him make friends, even though it wouldn’t work out well at first. He’d be very dismissive of others’ attempts to befriend him, for the most part.

Duck would absolutely hate Louis at first glance. From the moment he started serenating Clementine, he knew he’d hate that guy’s guts.

Louis does his best to earn Duck’s respect. They’re eventually sent on a hunting party together, and Louis compliments his skills with the rifle, dissing Aasim’s “old fashioned grandma bow” and telling him to grade up. Duck chuckles and compliments him in return on the traps he’d built around the forest, but trying to keep it very lowkey. They eventually become good friends, after a short while.

He’d be very fond of Mitch and Willy. Willy reminded him of himself when he was young. and Mitch’s knife skills catched his eyes almost instantly.

Duck would love Rosie. He had a dog a little before the apocalypse started, which he loved beyond belief. Seeing a friendly dog again after so long made him instantly love her.

[ngame989]

When it comes to Starco, what was your ideal scenario for S4? Like do you think Tomstar should've ended at Swim Suit or LHF. Then build Starco up with a mix of platonic and romantic until Beach Day where they finally go all in (full romance)?

So I won’t pretend that any specific plans I could theorize would work out perfectly, so I’ll split this in two: generic S4 relationship plan, and one that assumes most of the general structure of the season is preserved as is. I will note that the very broad themes for relationships are still good, needed, and what I hoped for in S4 in the first place, they’re just being done in a specific way that puts “will Star and Marco kiss again” on a massive pedestal and keeps the romance drama dragging.

Generic ideal plan: 

Tom and Star actually DO have a conversation about the photo and break up amicably around episode 2-4 (depending on plot), with Star being nudged into realizing her feelings for Marco, and Tom being pushed into realizing he can find himself. As the season goes on, we’d still get similar things for Tom like we did this past week, but in the context of “he’s trying to figure out how to be himself now that he’s single”. Marco and Star have another talk and confirm that they do have feelings for each other somewhere before episode 6 or so, and at this point they’re “canon” but it takes them a few more episodes of getting used to actually enjoying themselves and enjoying a relationship before they’re fully official, and it’s around this point the word “love” is dropped. Topics being handled in S4 should still be handled - blood moon (although I wouldn’t actually have it used as hamfistedly as here, I’d rather have the question of whether it actually forced feelings be solved within the episode it was brought up and have it be more plot-relevant afterwards), tackle the topic of Marco moving back to Earth and the two of them making a healthy commitment that respects each other as individuals, etc. Basically, for those of you familiar with the Tangled TV series, I love what that does. The beginning of the show has both of them know they love each other, and that love has a strong foundation and commitment and desire to improve, but it’s still in its infancy - they don’t know exactly what they want out of a relationship, or what their longterm plans are, or how to really be the best partners for each other, and that’s what their development is: everything after the “honeymoon phase”. I like the idea that “love” is an important word, but it’s not the endpoint - two people can truly be in love but still grow and change and need to work at it. Then the climactic moment and endpoint for Starco would be… not officially marriage or anything, duh, but a very clear “we fully understand why we love each other and we know for a fact that we want this relationship, romantic and more, to last forever” message, perhaps with direct allusion/symbol to Marco becoming a prince/king someday, even if not officially. 

Plan using the actual episode titles and specific themes of the season: 

Swim Suit: don’t involve Tom, the rest of the segment can go mostly as is, but have Star specifically be sad about not being able to have the Beach Day, and look a bit contemplative on that topic as a lead-in

Ransomgram: …OK this one’s a bit weird here, maybe change it to something else. Or flip it with LHF idk.

LHF: Tomstar breakup, basically the thing they would’ve done if they actually were even SLIGHTLY less spineless about it.

Have normal plot-based Starco episodes, as well as at least one stumbling awkward quasi-romantic Starco moment leading up to Curse.

Kelly’s World: Kelly does confess some stuff for Marco, and he brings up the topic of his feelings for Star, but rather than what happened, he either turns her down, or at the very least, even if he IS at least a tiny bit conflicted in the moment, it pushes him to the brink to figure stuff out with Star for real.

Curse: One way or another the topic of the Blood Moon is brought up, both of them wonder if it could be forcing their feelings, and those feelings are still scary so they do insert plot thing here to stop it. Hell, it could even similar to what we got, but however it ends, it concludes once and for all that it didn’t. Either they learn it wasn’t a curse and it doesn’t break, or it does break but doesn’t change anything, idk, depends on the plot. This is the turning point from “feelings are scary” to “we’ve fully accepted them and are moving forward”. Probably “love” used here, now, but not necessary.

Knight Shift: really doesn’t have to be much different, the same exact topic and theme work wonderfully even if they’re already a couple. But the ending would probably not be so strong in the “together forever” theme, leave it more open-ended

Junkin/Boy - Basically can just be the same, except without Tomstar in the former case. Tom learning to be his own person, etc.

Cornonation: Marco can be alongside Star for a lot of it, give them a cute moment (again, doesn’t need to be over the top - hell, have their kiss get interrupted for a gag too for all I care)

(SPECULATIVE THEME TIME)

Beach Day: Use the idea of the future/determinism/etc from the photo to tackle the idea of free will and whatnot here. They tried to force the photo before, and it didn’t happen, and it spontaneously happens when the time is right without them going out of their way to try for it, so this gets them thinking about what the future really means or something like that.

Sad Teen: An endgame-ish important episode for Tom, one that explores the trio dynamic of Tom + Starco and shows Tom really reaching his potential as a good friend to both of them.

Cleaved: Some big plot thing (involving the Blood Moon maybe?) with Star and Marco, maybe some big imposing force gets in the way and they have to fight tooth and nail to get back to each other (climax of the “free will” idea) and the ending is that they know 100% that they’re ready to be together forever.

In general: more casual Star and Marco episodes and Starco moments. Doesn’t need to be excessive, I’m not asking for nonstop Starco fluff, and I recognize that a lot of the non-Starco episodes have been great! Off the top of my head, I’d have at least one or two additional segments pre-Curse contain actual Starco Moments™ (not just “Star and Marco team up for the plot”, but actually have the emotional core of the episode center on the pair in some way). Give them a cutesy first-steps-into-official-relationship moment in Cornball, Cornonation as mentioned previously, etc. Have a proper first date somewhere in there, even if it’s twisted in some way or “ruined” by the plot but they still enjoy it in the end. Have a Starco babysitting Mariposa episode (although who knows, we may still get that).

Also, introduce themes of comparing Marco and Star to River and Moon as a way to show the whole “love goes hand in hand with commitment and support” thing (since Knight Shift gets a bit absolved of it now), and also as a way to symbolize Marco being King eventually even if the show wouldn’t be allowed to even allude to it directly.

Overall:

Honestly, I can’t even say if this would be a better show in every way for sure. I think it’d be more enjoyable to many of us, at least. I get that some of the themes might be slightly harder to portray as strongly, and respect that despite everything the crew are still professional TV writers and I can’t hope to stack my impromptu Tumblr answer against a fully funded television show outline in every detail. But taking something even moderately along these lines, not putting “will Star and Marco kiss” on such a fucking pedestal, and actually allowing for at least a SOMEWHAT better balance of cute or intimate Star and Marco moments with the rest of the dynamics and cast, even without changing much else would make the show FAAAAAAAAAAAAAR more enjoyable to me and bring a much better balance of the things I love seeing most episode-by-episode while still respecting that the show is about far more than just Starco, and can and should explore a lot of other things.

[dayna-scully]

ncis s4 lb

season 3  |  season 5  |  season 6  |  season 7  |  season 8  |  season 9  |  season 10  |  etc

4x01

you can’t ever convince me ziva and tony weren’t sleeping together between s3 and 4

worried boyfriend tony

I was hoping maybe save me

she needs her dad kill me

we love you too 😭

she got dad to come home

he’s supposed to be dead/apparently he’s gotten better

they were 10000% fucking lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

“when I need to be” quick question: what the fuck

skinny summer mcgoo

they use the same safe house over and over again

why wasn’t I with ziva?

she’s scared, not that she’ll ever admit that

4x02

I wonder how different the show would have been if they’d always written tony and Abby as being mature and serious the majority of the time - the childishness gets really really annoying, and there’s such a change in quality when they are more mature

dad’s home!!!

4x03

uuuuuUUUUGH I forgot how early Tony’s undercover stuff started

now that gibbs is back there’s so much tension between z/t

perhaps because z is jealous of the “mystery girlfriend”

tfw you’ve already got a girlfriend but you’re still checking out your totally platonic professional work partner’s ass

ziva is definitely a daddy’s girl in a way that Abby isn’t, Abby’s sugar sweet and spoiled, but ziva is the one that really needs the emotional support

I wonder if ziva ever actually thought about having kids with tony before tali

I wonder if tony thought about it too

has anyone ever told you you’re attractive/my brother 😂

you’re a geek, not mentally deranged

crime!!

4x04

Timothy Jimothy McGee

4x05

uhoh Tony’s worst nightmare

personally I prefer a good shag 👀

I think it’s good to keep in mind throughout all episodes that tony and ziva have already seen each other entirely buck-ass naked

I’m not blowing on you again

again: what the fuck

totally normal

👀

now is not Paris

why do you wanna look at a dead guy’s junk Anthony

4x06

I don’t totally understand ziva’s derision of Halloween, they do have Purim in Israel (and in Jewish communities in general) it might not be as dark and spooky as American Halloween but still

maybe it’s different in the states but amber alerts are only when they know the kid’s been abducted

I mean now they do know she was abducted but that was AFTER

according to someone called Scuttle Butt

so tony and ziva are watching movies together outside of work 🤔

4x07

UGH jeanne

zeevah! Zeevah!!

this has to be the stupidest thing anyone’s ever done/then why are you following me/I don’t fricking know (it’s cause you love her you doof)

i can see down your shirt right now/I don’t think your new girlfriend would like that/what are you talking about i don’t know what you’re talking about/I’m talking about you and the fact that you no longer stare at every woman when they pass you by

so 1) tony is not as good at hiding this undercover assignment as he thinks he is, 2) ziva observes him enough to notice that his behaviour has changed and 3) ziva is the only one he is STILL checking out

not worth dying over

I’ll remember that

my son, tony (!!!!!!!!)

gibbs was unfortunate(?) enough to be stuck with the most loyal set of ducklings

4x08

the only thing I DO like about the jeanne/la grenouille plot is jealous ziva

this cannot be admissible in court even with proper chain of evidence

totally platonic to be touching the entire side of your work partner’s body with your own tony would definitely sit that close to McGee by choice right it’s not just ziva

lee looks like a ballerina

sometimes they really go hard with the imperialistic propaganda

4x09

nepotism: both Sean and Troian getting jobs on ncis

MySpace im….okay

Jenny’s only here for the hot goss

see I don’t think Jenny realizes he’s talking about jeanne, I almost wonder if she thinks he’s talking about ziva

4x10

McGee thinks ziva’s in love with me (she is)

dad and grandpa are fighting and the kiddies don’t like it

pimmy jalmer

🎶sexually frustrated “platonic” partners🎶

you two done playing grab ass

you described everything in my bedroom (why weren’t they endgame?)

I do feel bad for tony. He was definitely put in a bad situation where he was taken advantage of (by NCIS/the director) without anyone to confide in, and of course it ended really, really badly

how can ziva even tell but anyways of course she’s jealous

the usual/the usual what - oof. That expression hurts. Poor ziva

you got that moustache in a box, don’t you

4x11

sexual harassment training

LICKING YOUR COWORKER’S FACE IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR ZIVA DAVID

why are you touching dead naked people?

I suppose at this point the viewers didn’t know that jeanne had anything to do with the undercover stuff tony was doing

ziva is concerned about her boooyfrieeend-seriously though

what part of inappropriate touching don’t you understand

romantic or not, ziva seriously gives several shits about tony and his well-being

dadman to the rescue

did Jenny…also not know????

ziva is so, so concerned ugh bb

4x12

I don’t know what my moas would be

unreservedly romantic tony

ahh, you two got married and didn’t tell me

I think it��s scary!

oh ziva.

why does ziva being so concerned make gibbs so uncomfortable 🤔👀

your other phone is never on silent

IT LITERALLY DID NOT OCCUR TO ZIVA DAVID, INTERNATIONAL INTELLIGENCE AGENT, THAT TONY COULD HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

LOOK AT THAT FACE

HOMEGIRL’S WORLD JUST GOT FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN

oh z

so the pictures that mossad had at the beginning of the season of z/t - could those have been from the agents watching tony and jeanne now?

4x13

when your wife and your girlfriend are in the same room

sounds like you have something up your wazoo

when your boyfriend has two super intense daughters who could both kill your painfully and without evidence

ooh petulant ziva

I’m certain that they used the same hall for jeanne and Tim’s apartments

“it’s important to appreciate the competition” EXCUSE ME TONY the competition for WHO??? Ziva??????

what the FUCK tony

those two are unusually motivated to find sharif 👀

4x14

what’s a little state sanctioned kidnapping between friends, eh?

mark harmon was on st elsewhere, wasn’t he?

maybe now gibbs gets why ziva’s so concerned

z is so pretty in this episode

4x15

so Tony’s so in love with jeanne that he doesn’t notice ziva dancing provocatively in front of him, but not so in love with jeanne that he’ll get in between ziva and someone who’s attracted to her

he’s also a ziva-to-English translator

oh tony

Dead Man Walking

oh dear poor z

you didn’t make her promise not to destroy it, mcgee

brain training to figure out how ziva knows the dude

aquasmurf

meetcute

so does my spleen

we finish each other’s-sandwiches

her technique 👀

falling in love with a dying man is a fantastic idea z

(Professional follow-up)

oh z

red light behaviour!!!!!

the look on your face says you are

what’s that look on your face

gee tony if you’re so in love with jeanne why are you also so in love with ziva

are you okay?

good guy tony

4x17

I’m pretty sure that mausoleum exploded in Bones too

so. over. abby.

why do they just shit on ziva all the time on this stupid show, everyone she loves dies

when you break up with your girlfriend but she’s still jealous of your wifee 😬

4x18

she’s wearing Roy’s hat 😖

oof, boy’s got a face like a brick house

I don’t want to see you naked, either tony

cold elbow

or maybe you said something when you should have said something

I’m so not interested in this melodrama 🙄

not good?

4x19

oh tony

4x20

ziva is totally unimpressed by these shenanigans

uncomfortably reflecting upon McGee’s book and ziva looks like she’s about to cry 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

campfire!

4x21

all these investigators and none of them can figure out that it’s kort

4x22

jeanne, on a fishing expedition and tony, regretting his response

ziva, studiously avoiding tony’s face while tony processes his regrets

bad news from the, um, dentist? / something like that OOPS TONY OOPS

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

she looks so hurt, ouuuch

like

she must realise how much in love she is with tony, even after roy

A GIRL LINGERS

long enough

tony/zeevah

that was...astonishingly cruel

like I can’t even comprehend

“it’s because you’re a good person” YOU DON’T DESERVE HER DINOZZO

you fuck

he’s right/he is?/i am?

4x23

noooooooooo

yeeeeeeeeees

buying a house is a loooooot

“Tony’s never vulnerable” maybe not around you, jeanne 👀

ha! I’m a normal man! I hate my wife!

I don’t know if I’m getting this ziva outfit mixed up with the one in bury your dead or if Something actually happens in this episode

something happens in this episode

so you’ll help me?

rip my little bi heart, she loves him

love you too, jeanne

poor z

4x24

I think sometimes she pretends not to know movies just to hear tony talk about them

OH NO THE BAR

to dry eyed mice

i have seen this episode an unhealthy number of times

I have a funny feeling, doctor

straight to voicemail, just like always when he’s with her

oooh z

tony?/what?!

why do you monitor tony?/i don’t monitor tony/oh yes you do, like a mother with a toddler

or a woman with a wayward lover

so if he’s profiling you, z, that means...there’s some truth to it?

tony is with his girlfriend, and you are worried about him

he is my partner, and my partner said he would be here and...and I have this not so good feeling

cut tooooooo a gun

aaaaand now to bury your dead.......

[calliecat93]

ST; TNG S6 Watchthrough Episodes 10-13

Chain of Command: Alrighty folks, two parter time!

Part One: Picard gets assigned to a vital mission. One that he has to keep secret from even Riker, While he, Crusher, and Worf are gone, Starfleet assigns Captain Jellico to command the Enterprise and handle negotiations with the Cardassians, much to Riker and the others disdain. I’ve seen mixed reception on Jellico, but I’ll refrain from giving opinions until the Overall. But he’s much more authoritative and hard pushing than Picard. Though it’s funny cause Picard was also very authoritative in the beginning, but he has GREATLY mellowed out throughout the series. But the reason that Jellico has been given command? Among with having experience with the Cardassians… Picard has been outright relieved because he’s most likely not coming back. Yeah, we got some high stakes for this one folks. It was a pretty good episode. We establish Jellico and his command methods, the crews' feelings about it, and Picard, Crusher, and Worf prepping for a VERY intensive mission. Which the ending to the episode? Yeah, they made sure to make sure that the viewers came back the following week. Will Part 2 be able to keep it up, however? We shall see but very solid first half~! 4.5/5.

Part Two: Picard has been captured. The Cardassians bring this up during the negotiations… which Jellico denies and won’t allow any rescue misisons. Needless to say this does not go over well with Riker. Yeah this was… hard to watch. Not because it was bad. If anything the fact that hey did it well is what makes it hard to watch. They do NOT hold back in showing the intensity of Picard’s torture. Like whent he villain used the device to just send Picard into agony… that was just… rough. On board the Enterprise Riker wants to admit that Picard was under Starfleet orders… but admititng that Starfleet was on such a missionw hen they have a treaty witht he Cardassians would cause a whole hos tof problems. As such Jelico won’t admit it and give Picard protections as a POW, which infuriates Riker to the point that he gets relieved of duty. It’s hard because obviously I side with Riker here… but I also can’t say that Jellico is necessarially wrong. This is a highly dangerous, critical situation on a politica, military, and even diplomatic front. Do you sacrifice Picard and ensure the needs of the many? Or do you go screw it and rescue him, but risk outright war breaking out due to it? Whatever you pick you will face major consequences. Fortunateley they find a way to get Picard back and stop the Cardassians via Jellico’s efforts, but Picard is left with the trauma and outright admits had they even been one second too late, he would have broken. His defiace in spite of his agony was awesome to watch especially when he finally broke down the villin… but the fact is he still suffered and came dangeorusly close to breaking completeley. Nothing, not even admiration for remaining strong, will ever take that away. It was hard to watch, but I can’t say that it wasn’t effective. Very well done episode. 4.5/5

CoC Overall: That was an intense one. The Cardassians are terrifying. I guess I’ll see more of this in DS9 but the way they torture Picard? How the villain outright allows his child to see it and dehumanizes/says hateful things about humans right in front of his child? Dear God…that is just so horrid I don’t know where to begin. David Warner did such an excellent job as the villain, being effectively cold-hearted and monstrous but with a layer of calmness that makes it all the scarier. No wonder he got cast as Ra’s al Ghoul in Batman: TAS. As for Jellico… there’s no denying that he’s a hardass. I wish that the episode did better at acknowledging how his over-taxing methods were, well… over-taxing, but they avoided having to make the crew go into outright battle. Nevertheless, after we see how Picard gets treated, it does make sense and in the end, his captaincy was effective. I don’t like his methods, but I can’t say that they weren’t effective and in this kind of situation it may have been necessary. He and Riker never get to liking each other… but they are forced to acknowledge that they need to work together and recognize the other's ability to get the job done. I greatly prefer Picard, but Jellico works for this episode under these conditions. At the very least he doens’t come across as a bad person. Also on a lighter note, glad that Troi is now wearing her actual uniform. She looks a Hell of a lot better in that than any of those jumpsuits they kept making her wear. So yeah a good plot, difficult choices, scenes that are hard to watch but well-executed, great acting… yeah this was an excellent two-parter. IDK if I’d want to watch it again because I don’t know if I can make it through Picard’s torture. Which needless to say if something like this is triggery or too much for anyone thinking of watching it, I highly recommend skipping this one (or at least those particular scenes) or watch it with someone. But it was very well done, there’s no denying that. 5/5.

Ship in a Bottle: So you guys remember the episode Elementary, Dear Data from S2? The one with Data and Geordi and Sherlock as Watson and due to Geordi being bad at wording the Moriarty hologram became sentient? Yeah… looks like the show finally remembered cause they finally bring back up that Moriarty’s kinda just been stuck in the computers for over four seasons now. Barclay ends up unlocking him, and Moriarty isn’t at all happy to have been left and forgotten for over four years. I was not at all expecting a follow-up to this episode, but Hell yes I am all for it! I can’t blame Moriarty for being upset especially since the show never brought it back up until now, so to the audience it feels like they just up and forgot him without giving a damn about his extesential crisis just like he does. Moriarty is able to at last leave the Holodeck, to everyone’s surprise, and all he wants is for them to make his lover real, even taking over the ship whent hey refuse due to still not understandinghow Moriarty became real… but there’s a bit of a plot twist. One that I’m not gonna give away here, but it is wild. But this was an excellent episode and a great, long overdue follow-up to Elementary, Dear Data. The questions of being alive/sentient (which we already had a few episodes ago but done differently enough here that it works), the argument between Moriarty wanting a life and the others concern by all that has happened, the limits on what they know, Barclay being competent without being the main focus, it’s very well done. Moriarty isn’t evil, just despersate and pushed to his limit, hence why he does what he does here. The ending is very bittersweet, but is a proper conclusion with some kind of hopeful note. Very well done~! 4.5/5.

Aquiel: Well I thought after S4 we were done with the ‘Geordi in love’ plots… guess not. So… this is pretty much ST’s attempt at making The Thing. When going through files to investigate a potential murder, Geordi finds lots of Aquiel and sure enough, he falls in love with her based on that alone. So… guess he learned nothing from Galaxy’s Child then, though at least he doesn’t try to use the Nice Guy excuse this time. Plus tbf he didn’t know that she was alive so i’s not as bad as in Boody Trap and Galaxy’s Child, but still he should really know better by now. But as it turns out Aquiel is alive, but was in Klingon custody… and is now the prime suspect in the murder. While I don’t mind the general plot of the episode and a Thing-like episode actually sounds pretty interesting, the ‘Geordi in love with a girl he never met via her personal logs’ plot wasn’t necessary and they already did it once. I think they did it better, but it’s still annoying to see that they did this again. I can’t even be happy about them having a dog in this episode because of reasons I won’t spoil, but let’s just say that the big plot twist can be seen a mile away. It was alright, but writers if you can’t think of a better way to do a Geordi-led romantic plot… maybe don’t use a romantic plot? Just saying. 2/5.

Alright, we are at the halfway point! So far? S6 has been great! Just great episodes all around. Some fun, some intense, some… well some are just meh but overall the first half has been excellent. It feels like they got their second wind after last season and I am loving it~!

[upslapmeal]

Yooooooo, all of Nu!Who is on iPlayer for unemployed folks like me lol. However, I can't stand Rose or Drose any more; any idea how to rewatch it?

Also, Moffat. Stopped caring about his work and the show halfway through S6. Ugh.

Hey! Firstly thanks for letting me know New Who is on iplayer, I gotta go and rewatch stuff now!! 

Ok right well I’m someone that loves Rose but doesn’t ship her and the Doctor so maybe you could try from the start of s1 but approaching it from a non-shipping perspective? I mean I feel like I can’t really help you w Rose bc I love her but I feel like a lot of people prefer her in s1 to s2 so maybe you could just start there and see how you go? I would suggest going straight to s3 but if you really don’t like Rose or Drose it might not be great jumping back in to the Doctor really missing Rose so I feel like the best idea might be to just try and start fresh with the two of them…which is probably easier said than done especially considering the fandom presence of the character and ship but I’d say it’s worth a shot! If you can’t get through s1/2 then maybe watch Smith and Jones to get into the Martha mood then skip to a few eps into s3 to when the Doctor is a bit less missing-Rose-heavy. And then for the last few eps of s4 you could always skip them? Though that’s a shame bc I feel like you’d be missing out on rewatching some good stuff, especially with Turn Left… I guess it’s just a case of seeing how much you can take them and how much you can convince your brain to think of the Doctor and Rose as starting with blank slates.

And hooo boy yeah s6 is……..a gotdang MESS. Honestly? From s6 I’d rewatch just like…The Doctor’s Wife, The Girl Who Waited and The God Complex and just leave the rest. Like just forget anything that’s actually relevant to that series arc unless there’s anything you particularly remember enjoying. For s7 I suppose it depends how much you care about Amy and Rory but I found it was better than s6 but just…kinda boring for the most part (I think Hide was probably my favourite even though retrospectively Clara didn’t actually feel like Clara though that can be applied to s7 in general a lot of the time). I’m assuming you want to rewatch all the way through? Did you stop watching partway through Moffat’s era? S8 is definitely messy but I enjoyed a fair few stories and the bits of Twelve’s personality that I loved through all his rude dickishness were the bits that they really followed through with in s9 and s10 which I was delighted about. I know that I really loved s9 (honestly I was surprised by just how much I loved it, easily my favourite Moff series right up there with the RTD stuff) but I don’t know if you watched it/liked it so I’m not sure how to recommend rewatching it? A friend of mine gave up watching towards the end of Eleven’s era and asked for recommendations of ~essential viewing~ to watch if she decided to catch up for s11 so this is what I said:

Deep Breath (8x01) - Capaldi’s first ep

Flatline (8x09)

we meet Gomez’s master in the s8 finale two parter so you could watch that if you wanted

The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar (9x01/02) - not the first story for Gomez’s master but the best one I think

The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived (9x05/06)

Face the Raven (9x10)

Heaven Sent/Hell Bent (9x11/12) - Heaven Sent is almost entirely a one-hander by Capaldi and he’s incredible

(I know that’s a lot of s9 but almost all the stories were two-parters)

The Pilot (10x01) - meet Bill!

Smile (10x02) - Bill’s first proper adventure

Thin Ice (10x03)

(all of the first five eps are great tbh) 

if you like David Suchet then you might want to watch Knock Knock (10x04)

The Eaters of Light (10x10)

the finale two-parter wasn’t the best they’ve ever had but you could watch that if you wanted just since it’s where we left off, 10x11 was better than 10x12 but Simm’s master is in 10x12

Then there’s the Christmas special which hadn’t aired at the time and is a fine story but I will forever be annoyed about how Moff wrote One. 

Basically it all just depends of how thorough you want your rewatch to be. If you really want to rewatch it all but are wondering how to get through stuff you don’t like you could just have it on in the background while you do something else? Lol this ended up being way longer than I planned, hopefully it’s at least some help!

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Love, Love, Love

Masterpost

5x01: Love, Love, Love

Hello season 5! It’s so lovely to see you.  I love this episode - it’s the Beatles, and it’s the Klaine proposal, and it kicks off my personal favorite season of the show (oops did I say that out loud?). Funny enough, Kurt’s not in this episode a whole lot - but! There’s so much Kurt in this season it’s crazy, so let’s dig in! 

This episode is so my happy place. 

Got to Get You (Back) Into My Life

I’m so glad that Ryan Murphy decided to let this season be bright and colorful - comparatively to a drabber and somewhat more serious season 4.  It’s funny - because this entire season will be haunted by the the tragedy that happened bts. But there’s also a lot of joy and happiness and downright crackiness that defines the season, too.  It’s such an interesting mix of things. 

So, anyway, despite this being a huge episode for Kurt - he’s only in a few scenes, his first one here with Blaine some ten minutes into the episode.  

When last we saw Kurt, he was getting much more comfortable with Blaine again, even if he claimed he wasn’t going to hook up with him, and he told some lesbians they weren’t a couple.  But I do believe the end of last season, even if we didn’t get much in the way of Kurt explicitly stating so, he’s entertaining the idea of getting back with Blaine.  He’s healed quite a bit in the six months they’ve been apart (Yeah - it’s supposed to be March here, lol).  And Blaine’s relentless showering of love and affection only bolsters his own feelings.  

His dad’s fine, school is fine, New York is fine, maybe, just maybe he and Blaine can be fine, too. 

We open up with this picnic.  And as a time reference, I believe this is during Kurt’s spring break - because Blaine’s mentions Kurt finally going back to school.  And you know - there’s such an ease between these two.  This conversation is light and playful and a little desperate on Blaine’s side, but Kurt knows exactly where this conversation is going, and he’s delighted by it - enough to taunt Blaine a little by holding back purposely.

Okay before I go too much further though, let’s talk about the dialogue they cut from the opening of this scene:

Kurt: This farewell picnic is the perfect send off, though. Blaine: One might even call it romantic. Kurt: One might. Blaine: So, what are we doing here? Kurt: I thought we were swearing off labels. Blaine: I love you, Kurt. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but this part, the romance and love part, I’m good, I’m done, I want you. Kurt: It doesn’t freak me out -- not in a bad way.

Oy this show - sometimes cutting things I really like (most of the time no, but this episode, yeah).  Also - this all happens before Blaine inquires about New York guy.

Anyway, the reason I’m including it here is that I like the insinuation that Kurt and Blaine had talked about what the status of their relationship was - and puts Blaine’s actions in a little more context.  There could have been a conversation way back in I Do - where they continued to sleep together that weekend but Kurt insisted it wasn’t called anything but friends with benefits.  They could have done things over Skype - and hence had a ‘let’s not label this’ conversation.  I do think, despite Kurt claiming they wouldn’t, before this picnic, they fell into bed together again.  

And I do think that had this stayed in, Kurt would have played the moment playfully.  Because he knows exactly where this is headed.  He knows he wants Blaine just as much.  

So about that New York guy.  Ha. 

Okay - so yeah, I wish that the Adam part of the story would have been more complete - that we would have seen Kurt try to date him but ultimately realize, yeah, no, I want Blaine.  I mean - while we were all pretty sure where the story was going, it never really got a proper resolution after 4x15.  And this is almost like tying up a loose end. 

But I like what Kurt says here, and how he says it.  He liked Adam fine, but it wasn’t serious.  I mean in the middle of “dating” Adam - he slept with Blaine, c’mon.  But Kurt is so dismissive of the whole thing.  It wasn’t about whether or not he liked Adam. It was about if he could forgive Blaine for cheating on him.  And that’s one of the things I find so fascinating about this story - it’s always about the conflict within themselves and between each other. Third parties are always arbitrary and inconsequential.  And merely placeholders (or plot devices) while one of them deals with their shit.  

(As an aside - the comment about people like them together is completely a fourth wall break.  The writers knew there were non-Klaine fans out there, and this is them saying, yeah, we hear you, don’t really care though.)  

The real point here is that last time they tried long distance, Blaine cheated on him.  But Blaine’s grown and healed a lot, too, since the beginning.  Even amidst the playfulness, Kurt is slightly hesitant.  He knows he loves Blaine.  He knows they’re going to be together.  But he also doesn’t want to ever be hurt like that again.  

But let’s talk about Kurt’s playfulness in the scene.  When was the last time we saw Kurt this open with Blaine? This relaxed and having fun? He knows exactly what Blaine wants, and he continues to deflect at every turn - sign a no-cheating contract, do relationships really work?, weren’t Bethany and Jason supposed to be forever?  He’s totally stringing Blaine along.  

Labels or no. They’re already back together.  It’s just a matter of saying it out loud. 

I love that when Kurt finally stops screwing around and says they’re going try a relationship again - he’s so damn giddy and excited about it.  They get to be Kurt and Blaine again.  And Kurt can follow his heart openly again.  Oh, kiddo. 

Also, cut from the script - another moment where Blaine leans in and kisses him.  **shakes-fist**

So - I want to take a sec and talk about the costuming.  Glee’s costume department has always been one of the most competent things on the show.  And Klaine has always had a way of matching.  But I think they begin to out do themselves this season.  Kurt and Blaine’s outfits here not only look fantastic on them - but they are complimentary colors to each other - and it makes this already gorgeous scene look brilliant.  And -- these are almost toned down versions of the colors they’ll be wearing for the proposal.  It love it.  Brilliant work costume guys.  ;) 

Anyway, Blaine says he has something planned and Kurt shuts that down pretty quickly.  And I think it’s interesting - not just because Kurt has his own serenade ready and waiting, but because it’s not about Blaine serenading Kurt anymore.  It’s about them being in an equal relationship, and doing things for each other.  

But also - I spoke of this pattern back during It’s Time - it does seem right that this is the last time they sing in the courtyard, because look at the pattern: 

S2 Somewhere Only We Know - Kurt is coming back to McKinley, and leaving Blaine at Dalton. 

S3 It’s Not Unusual - Blaine is coming to be with Kurt at McKinley

S4 It’s Time - Kurt is leaving McKinley to go to New York

S5 Got to Get You Into My Life - Blaine will be leaving McKinley to be with Kurt in New York. 

There’s a lot of coming and going, but ultimately, they’ll both be leaving McKinley together, as a couple, for New York, which is where they’re supposed to be - so on another level beyond these two are adorable singing to each other - it’s incredibly fitting that they’re singing this together.  

Trying to still this song was a miserable experience, so I’m going with a BTS shot instead - thank you, greatly, to those of you who sent me this pic <3  This is a gorgeous shot of Chris/Kurt, and here we can see the whole outfit in all its glory.  Also, anyone else notice the huge number of butt shots during this performance? I wonder if that was intentional, huh. 

Kurt says that he has this planned - which means he had already decided to get back together with Blaine before this conversation took place.  But it makes me wonder, did he decided to do this on his own? Or had he found out Blaine’s plans and took control of it for himself? Idk - interesting....  

So - you guys know that this song is about doing drugs, right? This is a love song to pot - or whatever they were on at the time, lol.  

But I mean, love is a drug, too.  

I feel like this song is pretty self-explanatory, and incredibly fitting for a couple of codependent little lovestuck goobers. 

Ooh, then I suddenly see you Ooh, did I tell you I need you Every single day of my life You didn't run, you didn't lie You knew I wanted just to hold you And had you gone you knew in time we'd meet again For I had told you Ooh, you were meant to be near me Ooh, and I want you hear me Say we'll be together every day Got to get you into my life

I love this performance.  While not my favorite Beatles song, it’s just such a fun number.  They’re playful and incredibly flirty, and very themselves, and that ending kiss.  Damn.  It’s not just that it’s hot - cause, yeah.  But because it’s a declaration of their love in a very, very public space.  Remember when Blaine once just tapped Kurt on the shoulder because they were on the stairs outside? 

Season 5 Glee, and season 5 Klaine, do not give a fuck.  

I’m rounding this out with the Sue’s first line in the next scene

Sue: America, your prayers have been answered. 

Getting Better

So, I want to take a second to talk about the one big Kurt scene they cut from the script.  Originally, and it was filmed because we have bts stills, there was a scene involving Kurt and the girls sleeping over at the school (Why the school, god who knows.)  

Deleted Kurt/Ladies Scene from Love Love Love**

(**Note - this isn’t the full cut scene, I’ll explain in a minute.) 

The reason I bring it up, since I’m normally a huge advocate of ignoring what’s in the script, is because it has some interesting tidbits in it.  

First of all - it’s a scene with all the girls and Kurt.  Even in the New York arc - WE NEVER GET THIS! This is kind of like Kurt’s bachelor(ette?) party and it is one aspect of the wedding stuff we don’t get at all - even with Brittana.  I realize that stuff is kind of TV cliche but dammit - they’re also usually really fun, too.  So I’m sad to lose this scene for that. 

It also shows that Kurt’s very in the know about Blaine’s proposal plans (I mean, god, Blaine is the least subtle goober on the planet) and that Kurt’s initial reaction is, god yeah sign me up for this. 

Also - this bit of dialogue: 

Kurt: [...] I’ve dreamt about marrying Prince Charming ever since I saw my first Disney movie -- I just never thought it would be possible. But the world’s changed and more than anything...I want Blaine and me to be apart of that change. 

Aw, Kurt, you little goober.  That would have been so sweet to hear you actually say.  **shakes-fist again**

They also cut a song - Getting Better that Kurt and the girls would have sang. (This, btw, was already omitted by the time the script I have was produced.)  On the surface - this sounded like a good idea, especially when Kurt singing would be great over a second Artie/Kitty duet.  

Here are some of the lyrics: 

I've got to admit it's getting better (Better) A little better all the time (It can't get more worse) I have to admit it's getting better (Better) It's getting better since you've been mine

It’s a nice little sentiment for Kurt to sing, right? 

Well - here’s later on: 

I used to be cruel to my woman I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved Man I was mean but I'm changing my scene And I'm doing the best that I can (Ooh)

**scrunches nose** Yeah, maybe it was best they cut this. 

Meanwhile, the one reason I’m glad this scene was cut? At the very end (apparently not in that link I gave you) - Santana gives this whole speech painting marriage as the worst thing two people can do, and it makes Kurt doubt the idea of getting married.  Because, according to the script, he never really thought about the future.  And I really call BS on this.  Because we have seen that Kurt is an incredible planner, has already thought about he and Blaine getting old, and part of the whole break up stuff was Kurt living in the future instead of living in the past.  So it just doesn’t add up. 

Plus - I think leaving Kurt’s insecurities with just the Burt/Kurt scene works a whole lot better than what this scene does.  

Fatherly Advice

You know - you can’t go wrong with a Kurt/Burt scene.  And this is one of my favorites. 

Kurt’s, understandably, nervous about this whole proposal business.  It’s not the proposal itself, it’s not because he doesn’t love Blaine - and I love, LOVE that he explicitly states here what Blaine means to him, that he feels safe and connected and loved with Blaine -- it’s because they are young, and because they just got back together, and no I don’t think Kurt is fully healed from that break up yet.  (I don’t think he will be until the second one - when he screws up the relationship** and learns that relationships don’t have to to be perfect.) 

**I’m saying this as a blanket statement - obviously the situation is far more complicated, but I’ll save that discussion when I get to season 6. 

Kurt’s perfect relationship broke once, and there is a part of him that doesn’t entirely trust that it can work again.  It’s not so much Blaine as it is Kurt’s not really ready to be put in this position yet.  (And - interestingly, Blaine’s pushing Kurt is part of the reason the season 6 break up happens -- though most of it’s really about Kurt being dumb, but anyway....) 

It’s funny that Burt tells Blaine that he should marry a person and not an idea, which is what Blaine’s doing a little bit.  But also that Kurt’s scared of the idea more than the person, and that’s a problem, too.  

Anyway, I love Burt’s speech during this scene.  We learn more about Kurt’s mom - and how Burt knew almost immediately that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life.  I’d go out on a limb and say Hummels know how to commit.  ;)  Burt talks about being young, and the fantasies about what being together would be like (which involved dancing in their underwear, sex, and pasta, lol), but he also gets real and says it’s also about fighting over bills and spoiled milk.  But when you get down to it, you have a short time on this planet - and you hold the people you love dearly closely to you.  

And, interestingly, Kurt’s somewhat living in the future again.  What if I get hurt badly again? What if we ruin this good thing I’ve just let back into my life? What if, what if, what if?  Kurt wants more time -- but Burt says - hey, you get to make your own choices now, so make one.  Oh Burt, you’re so wise. 

But also, what Burt says here is going to linger over the rest of the Kurt and Klaine story.  We’re going to see Klaine have good times and rocky times.  Burt’s warning about it being a hard thing is something Kurt’s going to not be able to deal with come season 6.  But also Burt’s words are why it makes complete sense to me that Kurt will later get married on a whim when he and Blaine get back together a second time. 

It’s funny that these two have a habit of - they’ll break up, and then when they get back together commit even more to each other.  (Though, no, I don’t believe they’ll break up after they get married.)  Burt’s words last us through the end of the series - only Burt speaks of experience, and Kurt still has to learn that.  

And Kurt takes the first step as he heads towards Dalton to make his decision. 

All You Need is Love

Kurt’s look of wonder as he heads up to Dalton.  I don’t know what Kurt was thinking he was getting - but I don’t think he realized that his proposal would be ripped straight out of one of those Disney movies -- all beauty and music and extravagance and love and Blaine being that incredible Disney Prince that he had always dreamed of.  And, oh hey, there are all his friends, and the people he knows and yes, of course Kurt knows the significance of coming back to this place - the place where their story began. 

Kurt - as he wanders through Dalton, amazed and amused by the theatrical display going on around him.  He was unsure until he saw Blaine - but once he saw Blaine, and let Blaine take him on this magical, romantic tour, Kurt was reminded of one aspect that really is a part of their love story.  The fairy tale romance.  And it still is, even as many times as this show is going to show us a more realistic side.  Here is the grand musical-esque gesture that, let’s be honest, Kurt has loved all his life.  It probably is one of those out of reality moments - it’s just that crazy. 

It’s funny - because the song is All You Need is Love.  And anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you that the song is idealistic at best.  Love isn’t all that you need - as Burt explained to us somewhat in the speech coming over.  But it is a foundation for something great to be built.  And their romance is that something great. 

Kurt is so overwhelmed, but in a very, very good way.  I mean - there’s freakin’ rose petals coming from the ceiling.  Damn, Blaine.  

And man - does this scene push all the right nostalgia buttons as Kurt comes down that staircase like the day they met.  Kurt gets that - and I think the reality that this is really happening - this fantasy that he really dreamed over - that this sweet, wonderful man will ask him for forever. 

Blaine:  We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. And for those that know me, I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before but I think that my soul knew something that my mind and body didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each others, fearlessly and forever, which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you, it's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if every lifetime you and I have lived, we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you. So Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?

Kurt: Yeah. Yes.

This speech is one of the most beautiful things the show ever wrote.  And watching Kurt’s face during all of this? He’s so moved.  He loves this man, so, so much.  He doesn’t say a word during this, he doesn’t have to.  His face says it all as all the emotions come rushing forward.  

I love that, despite the public setting, despite everyone being around them, it’s a very intimate and personal moment.  (Um, maybe because the camera’s so close, lol.)  Kidding aside - this moment, where Blaine asks Kurt to marry him is not about the spectacle (though these goobers do get off on the spectacle), it’s about declaring their love for another - it’s about committing full-heartedly.  

And I kind of love that Kurt’s so emotional that it takes him a second to respond - a breathy ‘yeah’ cause that’s all he can manage.  Blaine’s once again taken his breath away. 

Kurt went in not knowing what to expect, but by the end - it’s yes -- yes this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  His heart takes over for his brain for once, and he’s all in, wherever that might take them.   

(And I mean - Kudos to both Chris and Darren on their acting here - they sell this couple so damn well, I can’t even.  Just, yeah.) 

Alright, so I’m probably cheating using another BTS shot - but I love the full body shot of the kiss.  I mean look at these goobers putting the puzzle back together with a kiss.  And those suits are just so gorgeous - I cannot compliment the costume department enough. 

Now - for opinion time -- for me, I see this as more than a proposal - I see this more as their spiritual marriage.  It’s designed to look like a wedding in its scope, with Kurt walking down an aisle and his dad taking him up there and the bridesmaids waiting at his side and the groom ready for him.  (God - does that mean Will is the priest?) But for me - this is their wedding, and everything after this (because dreams come true, not free) is learning to navigate that kind of committed relationship.  But season 6!! Yeah - but season 6.  They’re going to fuck up again - because of all the reasons Burt says here - they’re young, and dumb, and have never done this before.  

But yeah, their wedding doesn’t really compare to it (even if the writing of that episode was pitch perfect, idk if they could have topped this).  It’s more a technical, yes they’re legally married now.  But here - here starts that second half of the journey, the -- what comes after happily ever after -- stuff that I find so fun and interesting.  Most stories stop at happily ever after.  I’m grateful that we get to see that it’s not all perfect beyond.  

I mean - we are still in the middle of this story, not at the end ;) 

But yeah - I love this moment so, so much.  And I love that Kurt gets to have this happy moment, big and romantic and ending with a kiss and a promise of forever with the man he loves.  :) 

I’m including the whole thing here - because it’s such a thing of beauty.  The boys look gorgeous in their suits, Dalton is beautifully lit, Blaine’s speech is really just pitch perfect.  Everything about this scene is amazing and wonderful and romantic and I encourage you to watch it again.  It may be my favorite moment in the entire series.  

Oh season 5 - how I do adore you.  :)