#no wonder he fucking nailed those yearning scenes he's like

[virginbutstillahoe]

was anyone gonna tell me that matthew macfadyen, THEEE mr. darcy, THEEE tom wambsgans, fucking declared his love for his wife IN THE RAIN like the LICHERAL scene in pride and prejudice (2005) before that movie was even shot RIGHT AFTER SHE GOT MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE???????

or was i just supposed to read it in some ramdom article this morning

[asweetprologue]

Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again. 

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con 

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings. 

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD 

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily. 

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449 

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates. 

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

~

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

[rocorambles]

Can’t Catch A Break

Pairing: Atsumu x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Rape/Non-Con, Violence, Choking, Overstimulation

Summary: Life has a twisted sense of humor and just when you think you're free of someone, they become entangled in your life once again. Just when you gain hope and see the light at the end of the tunnel, life comes crashing down with a new plot twist of its own. 

You cringe at the pig-like squeals you hear from your female classmates as a certain blonde setter walks by. 

Atsumu! You were amazing at the game last night! Atsumu! Can you teach me how to play? 

Gagging at the disgusting scene, you raise the volume of your headphones, concentrating on the text in front of you, not even bothering to spare the athlete a glance as you finish up your homework before class starts. You’ve finally tuned everything out, biting your lower lip in concentration as your pen goes flying across your notebook, scrawling answers left and right, but you flinch at the sudden movement of someone’s hand waving in front of your face. 

You scowl at the distraction, ready to give whoever it is a piece of your mind, but your irritation flies out the window and you grin when you meet Osamu’s gaze, beckoning him closer as you ask him some questions you had about last night’s assignment. And the two of you chat, heads close together as he points out a few mistakes you’d made, as you sheepishly laugh at your carelessness and thank him for his help as always, ignorant of the way Atsumu enviously stares at both of you, eyes narrowing at the way you give his brother all your attention, attention he’s never once received even a sliver of. 

The Miya twins and you are technically childhood friends, although in reality, it’s really only Osamu who you consider to be your long-time friend and you scrunch your nose in displeasure when you remember meeting a young Atsumu for the first time, only for him to rip your favorite doll in half because you wouldn’t share your toy with him. Needless to say, neither of you really saw eye to eye after that and you ignored him for his quieter and kinder twin. 

Years passed and yet stubbornness on both your parts made it impossible for you two to bridge the widening gap, Atsumu too stubborn to apologize, you too stubborn to be the bigger person and forgive him. And as the two of you only got older, Atsumu becoming even cockier and more obnoxious, you having other more important things to worry about than annoying rude boys, the two of you completely drifted apart. 

But Atsumu watched over the years as you remained a frequent visitor to their house, watched as his parents welcomed you in like you were a part of the family, watched as you rushed past him to Osamu’s room without even a glance his way. He watched you grow older, grow more beautiful, grow even closer to Osamu until his parents wouldn’t stop joking and asking about when the two of you were finally going to start dating, only making the both of you laugh as you assure them that the two of you are just friends, always will be just friends. 

He doesn’t doubt the truth in those words and yet, he can’t help but stare at his brother in disbelief. How could his brother not want you when you’re splayed on his bedroom floor with only a pair of shorts and tshirt, completely vulnerable as you talk about school and volleyball? How could his brother not yearn for you when you smile at him, eyes glimmering with joy as you giggle at something he says? How could his brother not desire you when you let out those delighted moans every time you take a bite out of something you like, your eyes closing in bliss in a way that has Atsumu’s throat going dry? 

But the two of you stay true to your words, both of you going off to date other people throughout high school and college, and Atsumu judgmentally stares at the girls Osamu brings back to their shared dorm. They’re fine, he supposes, but none of them are you, none of them compare to you, and he questions his brother’s tastes as thoughts of you plague his mind.

He sees you during the holidays, when all three of you are back home from college, and his nails dig into his palms when he sees the faded hickey on your neck and listens to you gush about your newest and latest boyfriend to Osamu. And jealous anger courses through him as he eavesdrops on Osamu and you as both of you stay up late at night, chatting and catching up, sharing raunchy stories and advice of what to do or not to do during sex, and when he finally closes his eyes, he dreams that it’s him you’re talking about, him who’d fucked you silly in your dorm bed, him who had showed you just how intoxicating a bit of pain with your pleasure could feel. 

But when he wakes up cold and alone in his bedroom the next morning, it’s all too clear it’s not him and as the three of you graduate from college and go off on your own paths, he pushes you to the back of his mind, adamant about forgetting you and leaving you in the dust, drowning you out with the resounding smacks of volleyball, the screeching of shoes skidding across the court.  

Unfortunately for him, life has different plans and as he focuses on his athletic career, he’s unaware of the way Osamu coaxes you into working alongside him at his onigiri shop, unaware of how you’re once again entangled in the webs of his life and he freezes when he steps into his brother’s restaurant years later and sees you cheerily talking to a customer at the counter, an apron tied around you. And even after all this time, longing and desire crash into him at full force from just a glimpse of you. 

This time he doesn’t let pride get in his way, desperation clawing at him and urging him forward, and something primal roars inside of him at the way your eyes go wide in surprise when you recognize him, at the way you stutter out the shop greeting. You’re adorable and he can feel his hands twitch, wanting to touch you and make sure you’re real, unbelieving that you’re so close, right in front of him after he had finally come to terms with the fact that he’d probably never see you again. But he restrains himself, warmly smiling at you and ordering his go-to set meal, making you promise that you’d sit and catch up with him after you’re done closing up and he seats himself in a corner of the restaurant where he can watch you for the rest of the night. 

Your heart is pounding in your chest and you take a minute to fan yourself in the kitchen away from the prying eyes that have been locked on you for the last hour. You had been shocked to see the blonde and you chide yourself for your panicked reaction. Of course you were bound to see him at some point, especially now that you work with his brother. Osamu had mentioned that Atsumu visits from time to time and yet, the reality of it isn’t something you had been prepared for. 

What game was Atsumu playing now? You shudder when you recall the sharp smile he had given you, the demand in his tone as he asked you to hangout with Osamu and him after closing. 

A small part of you wonders if he’s changed, matured. It has been a long time since you’ve last seen him. Maybe you were overthinking things, making things up in your head because of your bad impressions of him when you were younger. But the larger part of you hisses for you to be careful, for you to be wary and you keep your defenses up even as you sit across from him, cups of piping hot tea in front of all three of you as Atsumu whines about not knowing that the two of you had decided to team up in this restaurant venture. 

Objectively he’s handsome. He’s always been good looking, but it’s clear that being a professional athlete has even further developed him and you can appreciate the way he fills out his shirt more, the way his broad shoulders make a striking silhouette. And he doesn’t miss the hint of interest in your eyes as you take him all in, preening with pride and something darker now that he finally has your undivided attention. Too bad you’re just as sharp as him and you tense up at the brief glimpse of something ominous in his eyes, in the way he stares at you. But you play nice, thankful that at least Osamu is also here as a buffer, and you sigh in relief when Atsumu finally leaves, off to bed early for a long grueling day of practice tomorrow. 

But you quickly realize you had relaxed too soon as Atsumu becomes an almost daily visitor, always coming in right as Osamu and you are closing shop and staying for hours on end, insistent on hanging out with you. And as time goes on, instead of sitting with the both of you, Osamu flits about the rest of the restaurant, going to the storage room to figure out inventory, assessing and cleaning the kitchen, forcing you to keep his brother busy and out of his hair. 

Atsumu grows bolder with his brother distracted and not paying close attention to your interactions, leering at you with predatory eyes and a wolfish grin, unabashedly staring at the swell of your breasts, only smirking when you snap at him that your eyes are up in your head and not down there. You snarl at him when he bluntly tells you how good you look in the shop apron, how sexy he bet you would look if you only wore an apron and nothing else, how he wishes he could see the view from behind. You roughly kick his foot away as it begins to trail up your leg, inching up and up towards your inner thigh, grazing the apex of your legs and you victoriously smile when he winces in pain, only to fight back a whimper at the fire in his eyes when he looks at you. 

But before he can do or say anything else, Osamu pops out from the back of the restaurant and Atsumu leans back in his chair on his best behavior again and you practically rush up from your seat, bidding a vague farewell as you escape. Only to return to work the next day and play the same push and pull game every night with the blonde setter. You’re thankful that at least Osamu is your saving grace and you comfort yourself in the knowledge that Atsumu won’t do anything too crazy, can’t do anything too awful, not with his twin around. 

You consider bringing it up to Osamu, telling him exactly what’s happening, but what then? Would you really make your close friend choose between his own brother, his own flesh and blood, his own family and you? What would their parents think if they ever found out? And you flinch at the thought of hurting or disappointing the two adults who had always treated you like their own daughter. No. That wasn’t even a possibility. So you suck it up. You’re a full grown woman after all. What’s one more misogynistic asshole you have to deal with? 

So you put with his objectifying stare, his wandering hands, his degrading comments, fighting fire with fire as you purposefully wear baggier clothes under your apron, wait for Osamu to turn around before shoving Atsumu away from you, shoot a sickeningly sweet smile as you knock his tea onto him when he asks you another outrageously inappropriate personal question about your sex life. And you think everything’s under control only for things to take a twisted turn you aren’t expecting when the entire MSBY Black Jackals team rents out the entire restaurant for a private party. 

You’ve come to know the entire team over the months you’ve been working with Osamu, all the players dropping by once in a while to grab a quick snack or meal, and you smile as the shop fills with raucous laughter and joyful spirits as the team celebrates a big win. There’s plenty of food and the liquor is pouring generously as speeches become slurred, as the volume drastically increases and you howl with laughter as Bokuto animatedly shows off his new chest receive move. You’re in such high spirits that even when Atsumu harshly grips your thigh as you walk past him, stopping you and asking for more sake, you merely brush his hand off and retrieve the bottle, returning to fill his glass, too distracted by the celebratory atmosphere to pay attention to the setter. 

And maybe that’s why you aren’t aware of how Atsumu is leaning towards you, calloused hands removing the bottle from your hand and setting it on the table before forcefully dragging you into his lap, a hand wrapped around the back of your head as he slams against your lips in a bruising kiss, only clutching you tighter as you struggle and try to push him away. Fear lances through you and you flail as much as you can, panicking when his strong arms don’t budge, only winding tighter and tighter around you until there isn’t any space between the two of you, until you can feel your breasts squished against his toned chest. You cry into his mouth, hot tears pricking your eyes when one arm sneaks down to grope an ass cheek, kneading and slapping the clothed flesh, when you can feel the tent in his pants pressing against your clothed groin. 

But even Atsumu has to breathe and when he pulls away, you don’t even think as your arm swings up and suddenly it’s silent as a loud slapping sound pierces through the room. All eyes are on the two of you, but you don’t care, you don’t notice. You only have eyes for Atsumu and all the disgust and anger you had built up inside of you, kept to yourself, comes rushing out as you viciously snarl at him, telling him you’re done with his harassment, openly jeering at him to go find a prostitute if he’s so desperate or maybe one of his stupid fan girls, anyone else but you. Venomous word after word is spat at him and you don’t stop until you’re out of breath, until your throat is hoarse from screaming and finally when there’s nothing left to say, you rush out of the room, past the horrified and stunned faces of his teammates, of Osamu, never looking back once, never stopping until you’re tucked underneath your bed covers, sobbing to yourself, skin rubbed raw and mouth brushed until your gums bled in an effort to wash yourself completely of his touch. 

You don’t return to work for days, ignoring the numerous calls and texts from Osamu, completely shutting off your phone. Now that time has passed, now that you’re not in the heat of the moment, you feel embarrassed by the spectacle you’d made, the dramatic scene you’d given Atsumu’s entire team and Osamu front row seats to. You don’t regret your actions, knowing you’re in the right, knowing no one should have to put up with what you had, but your skin crawls imagining how facing anyone who had witnessed that night would go, unsure where they all stand on the matter, wondering if Atsumu is dragging your name in the mud, calling you a drama queen, a liar behind your back. 

But Osamu isn’t having your cowardly act and you feel sick when you hear pounding on your door, Osamu’s familiar voice muffled, but loud from the other side of the door, begging you to let him in, to talk with him. And you consider just staying silent, waiting for him to leave, but long minutes pass and he doesn’t let up, seemingly getting only louder and more insistent the longer you leave him hanging and taking a deep breath, you finally unlock the door and let him in, looking anywhere but him as he shuts the door behind him. 

You’re not sure what to expect, not sure who’s side he’s on, but when strong arms wrap around you and gently bring you in for a hug, his familiar scent and warmth surrounding you as he tucks your head under his chin, you sob into his chest, releasing all the anxiety and stress you had felt, relief flooding through you when you peer up into his eyes and he looks at you the same way he always has, like best friends, like family. And the two of you curl up on your couch and he lets you fully tell your side of the story, finally explain everything that had been happening, and you let out a watery laugh when he only berates you for not trusting him, not telling him sooner.  

You laugh at yourself, wondering how you could have thought the whole world would be against you and you're eternally grateful to Osamu for dragging your reluctant body back to work as your regular customers cheerfully greet you, telling you they had missed you, as Bokuto and Hinata stop by and grace you with their megawatt smiles as they order their usual orders. And life finally feels normal again. Better than normal. 

You're not sure what had gone down between the Miya twins after the incident, but Osamu had assured you that Atsumu was never coming back to the restaurant, that you'd never have to see him again. And like he says, despite the way your eyes nervously glance at the door when closing time approaches for the first few weeks, no blonde haired man ever enters the establishment and as the months go on, Atsumu isn't even on your mind anymore, forgotten as you move on with your life. 

And now it's your turn to take care of Osamu and you shove him out of the restaurant, waving off his million comments and reminders as you help him pack for his vacation you had forced him to go on. You knew the man like the back of your hand and it was painstakingly clear how exhaustion and stress were eating away at him as he slaved away in the kitchen, hovered over his account books. 

The onigiri shop is rapidly growing, gaining momentum and popularity neither of you had anticipated, and while in many ways those things are a blessing, they also are a source of the growing pains Osamu and you feel as the business outgrows the small shop tactics the two of you had utilized. But you force him away with the promise that once he's rejuvenated and refreshed, the two of you would sit down together, map out the future of the restaurant, and embark on that new chapter together. And he flicks your forehead when you dramatically tell him he's no use to either of you if he drops dead from overexertion one day, but he smiles and you wave him off on his long overdue break. 

Life is hectic as you run the shop by yourself and you're running on less than empty as the days drag on. Maybe that's why you get careless. Maybe that's why you forget to lock the front door even after pulling down all the blinds and flipping over the open sign to announce the restaurant's closure. Maybe that's why you don't hear the door quietly open and close or the approaching footsteps as you do inventory in the storage room. 

You startle at the sound of the door slamming shut behind you, whipping your head around only to feel your heart drop as you lock eyes with a face you thought you'd never see again. Palpable fear makes you tremble and your shaky body wants nothing more to bolt, but with the only entrance and exit blocked by Atsumu's imposing body, there's nowhere to go and instead you cower backwards, slowly backing yourself into the wall, trying to stay as far as physically possible from the athlete. 

"You shouldn't be here, Atsumu. I'll tell Osamu." 

You know you're grasping at straws unsuccessfully when Atsumu wickedly laughs at your words and you flinch as he takes step after step until he's right in front of you, crowding you against the wall. He's so close you can feel his body warmth and like a cornered animal, you make a wild dash past him towards the door.

Or at least you try to. 

But years of trained athletic reflexes serve your visitor well and before you can even take a step away, he has you slammed against the wall, his body pressed against yours, both your wrists pinned above your head in one of his larger hands, his other hand tightly gripping your waist. And bile rises in your throat as you feel his hard length rubbing against you, as you hear him moan as he forcefully grinds against your body.  

 "Sure. Go ahead and tell 'Samu when I'm done with you, if you can even form words or think properly by then. He's not back from his little trip for another few weeks. More than enough time for me to show you exactly who you belong to." 

You protest as his lips once again slam against yours, but this time you're more prepared and you sneer at him when he recoils from your bite, red hot fury and pride soaring in you at the sight of blood trickling from his mouth. But you sob when a large calloused hand strikes you across the face, leaving a burning ache in its wake that you can't even register as the same hand wraps around your throat, squeezing and squeezing until black spots dance at the edge of your vision and your body thrashes in his grip. 

Just when you think you might pass out, he abruptly lets go and you collapse to the ground, gasping and heaving for air, too busy trying to breathe to fully retaliate against the way you're being forcefully repositioned on the floor, only feebly fending off his hands as they tear off your clothes while you clutch at your smarting face and bleeding nose. 

But your struggling begins anew, propelled by denial and despair when you're laid completely bare underneath him, his hungry eyes raking over your body and you dig your nails into his arms as he slaps and roughly kneads your breasts, painfully pinching and twisting your nipples. But that doesn't deter him in the slightest and you clench your eyes shut as he cruelly coos down at you about how honest your body is as your nipples betray you and harden under his attention, biting back a moan that threatens to escape as his head dives down and his tongue licks your sensitive buds while his lips wrap around and suck.

You hate him, you hate yourself, you hate your body as his fingers easily glide into your slick hole and your hands rush to cover your face, your mouth, anything to muffle your lewd sounds, to hide the aroused look on your face. But Atsumu isn't having it and you obediently place your hands at your side when he growls at you to let him see you, let him hear you, punctuating his order by slapping your throbbing clit and threatening to beat you to a bloody pulp until you listen. 

The wet sounds of your dripping cunt being finger fucked and your wanton moans create a ghastly symphony and you just want it all to stop, want the tightening coil in your stomach to go away, but it only curls more and more with every drag of calloused fingertips against your insides, until you're wailing as you come undone, convulsing around the fingers slamming into you, screaming as he doesn't let up his pace even when you've finished riding the pleasure. 

It's a mind numbing cocktail of pain and pleasure and you don't know if you're begging for him to stop or for more as he wraps his mouth around your overly spent clit, creating a vacuum like suction around it as he continuously pumps his fingers in and out of you and you think you might die from all the feelings inside of you as you're quickly forced to another orgasm, too soon after your first, wailing and sobbing for Atsumu to stop. It's too much. Too much. Too much. You're going to break. 

Unfortunately for you, that's exactly what Atsumu has planned for you and the blonde triumphantly smiles at the dying fight in your eyes, the internal confusion he sees as your carnal desires battle your more logical self-preservation. It's cute how your hands still make the motion of shoving him away even if there is only weak kitten like force behind it. It's endearing how pretty tears streak your face while you weakly tell him to stop despite the way your resistance is peppered with little moans of pleasure, despite the way your pussy milks his fingers, your hole fluttering and a tiny whine escaping you when he pulls his digits out, leaving you empty and aching. 

But he thinks you must be the most beautiful like this, eyes blown wide with pleasure, mouth opening in a choked scream, fingers clawing for purchase as he impales his entire length inside of you in one thrust, the sticky mess of your last two orgasms making it all to easy to slide in, no resistance from your quivering loosened walls. And he mockingly laughs at the way your eyes roll back, as you loudly moan as he bucks his hips, his cock ramming in and out of you, his balls obscenely slapping against your ass with every movement. 

He can feel your thighs clench, see how you stop breathing as your climax approaches, and he furiously reaches down to rub your clit, hissing as you clamp down around him, hungrily devouring the sight of you completely breaking apart underneath and around him as he forces you to your crest once again. And he shortly follows, roughly grabbing your hips and holding you still as he slams one last time inside of you, releasing his seed deep inside of you, salivating at the image of how pretty your insides must look coated with white. 

And as he takes in your drool and tear smeared face, the way your eyes are rolled back and unseeing, the way your body twitches in the aftershocks of such powerful forced pleasure, he can feel lust stir inside of him once again, his cock twitching and coming back to life, still nestled deep inside of you and he laughs at how reactive and sensitive you are as he gives an experimental thrust, an instantaneous mewl slipping past your lips. 

"Stay with me, babe. I'm nowhere near done with you." 

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE BLOOD Vol.2: Mukami Kou [Track 7+8]

Original title: 堕落した証 & いらいらする

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 2: Mukami Kou [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Translator’s note: Oh boy oh boy. I should have kept my mouth shut during the last few tracks because these two tracks had me wriggle around in my seat as my stomach turned upside down. > < Those of you who have been around since last year might recall how I struggled with Shuu’s D-S Kyuuketsu CD because of the ‘bodily gore’ noises when he cuts the MC with a knife and then stirs his fingers around in the open wounds. KOU DOES THE EXACT SAME THING GDI. I had to pause several times because I got nauseous. :’’) Please no more of this Rejet. 

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 7: Proof of Corruption

“Well then, where should I bite you next...~? Both your neck and arm are already dyed a bright crimson from your blood. Fufu~ While I’m at it, I guess I should make you even more red...Perhaps that’ll improve your looks a little.”

*Rustle*

[00:25] “Hmー Such slender wrists...Fufu, I could probably twist them with ease. If I were to plunge my fangs in, they might just pierce right through, don’t you think? Come on, show me your hand.”

*Rustle*

“Hm...These marks are still fresh. Hmー They weren’t left behind by me, which means they belong to one of those guys? Heeeh...Now what a lovely decoration you have here. You really are a maso-kitty, aren’t you? I sort of get now that you’re not doing all of this on purpose. Which means...is someone controlling you behind the scenes?”

*Rustle rustle*

[01:18] “Take flowers, for example. They don’t particularly wish to bloom beautifully, do they? However, some larger force in nature is ordering them to do so to lure in birds and insects. So perhaps you were put together by someone with the specific goal to seduce us Vampires? If not, a plain girl such as yourself couldn’t even dream of having someone like me suck you, not even out of pity. Fufufu...~”

*Rustle rustle*

He digs his finger inside your skin.

[01:59] “Ah-aaah...Since the wound hadn’t fully healed yet, my finger sank in the moment I pressed down. Does it hurt? Fufu~ I’m digging my nail into the open wound after all~ I bet it hurts...Then suffer more...Scream...! Nobody will hear you here. This place has been equipped to ensure that they won’t find you.”

*Rustle*

“But...Well...If they did know you were here, I wonder if they would come and get you? These guys who seem to be oh-so obsessed with you, I mean~”

Kou continues to stir up the wound with his nails.

“Are you writhing in pain? Ah-aaah...Your ugly face only became even more hideous. Should I say it has a certain charm to it? I’m incapable of loving you while you look like that though. However...”

*Rustle*

[02:57] “In regards to these wounds, I feel a strange sense of attachment. I wonder why? Perhaps it’s just fun to compete with other Vampires over a prey such as yourself? Hahaha...But in that case, I have to leave behind my own marks as well or it’s no fun, right? ...I’ll leave my mark on top of these wounds, as if to overwrite them. It’ll be perfect proof of how thoroughly corrupted you’ve become.”

*Rustle*

Kou bites you.

*Gulp*

“Mmh...*

*Gulp gulp*

“ーーHah!”

*Gulp*

[03:50] “Mmh...Haah...I can smell them from here...It pisses me off...Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah, haah...It makes me want to just rip up your whole arm with my fangs...”

*Gulp*

“Fufu...This must be the taste of hatred...~ Exactly...I can’t forgive them...Never! That’s whyーー”

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah...Haah...”

*Rustle*

[04:38] “I won’t return you to them. You’re basically mine now. Offer both your body and soul to me...And go mad. Fufu...Damn~ What’s wrong with me? Am I being spurred on by you? Uwaah...This is a first for me. Fufu~ I truly got my hands on a nifty toy. I was just going to have a little taste before handing you over to Ruki...but I might not want to let you go again.”

*Rustle*

[05:22] “Haah...Let me suck more...Your blood is messing with my head...as I find myself wishing you would offer more of that delicious blood pumping through your veins to me and me only.”

*Rustle*

“Oi. I bet you have other marks left behind by them as well, don’t you? Tell me. I’ll make you go through those painful memories again. Come on, hurry up and fess up.”

*Rustle*

[06:00] “Hey? Are you listening? If you space out like that, I’ll do something much, much more painful and rough?”

You muster a response.

“Hm? Your belly? Eeeh~? Now where could they be...~?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Ah, you must be talking about these. Marks spotted~ They really don’t hold back when devouring you, do they?”

He licks the marks.

“Oh, this one smells different. So, tell me. Did you have them bite you from head to toe? Hah! What a slut you are.”

You protest.

[06:46] “Hm? You didn’t wish for any of this to happen? ...Che. Why are you giving me that defiant look? Do I have to repeat myself a million times before your idiotic brain gets it? I was reminded once more the moment I sucked your blood. You’ve been tampered with in some way to lure in Vampires. I wonder who could be behind it...~? Fufu...Somehow that piques my interest...”

*Rustle*

“But for now, I’ll cover you with my marks. So I’ll thrust my fangs inside these wounds as well...”

Kou digs his nails into your skin once more as you flinch.

[07:31] “Aren’t you happy? I’m the one saying these things after all. ..Aaah-aah, such filthy marks. I’ll erase them right away.”

He bites you again.

“Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah...Haah...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah...This stench is persistent...It won’t disappear...Ugh, it pisses me off. If I can’t get rid of it with my fangs...It just makes me want to mess you up as a whole...”

*Rustle*

“Haah...Guess I’ll just have to sink them in deeper and deeper...Like thisーー!”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah...Nnh...”

You cry out.

[08:41] “Ah...It hurts? Look at you gushing blood all over the place. You really have no shame, do you? But you shouldn’t be able to feel the pain, you know? My fangs have already made it so you perceive everything as pleasure. Fufufu...”

*Rustle*

“I can tell you want me, so try and voice it out loud? Beg for me with a cute tone. Come on, hurry...Ask me to make you feel ever better~”

You whimper.

[09:24] “Hmm~~? I can’t hear you...~ You’re going to have to speak a little louder. Also, don’t forget to sound cute, okay?”

You repeat it.

“Fufu...~ Exactly, like that. Just be honest with yourself...Perhaps then I’ll be able to feel a little affection for someone as ugly as yourself.”

You beg again. 

“Mm~ Good. You managed to beg for it cutely, so I’ll love on you in return. ...With these fangs of mine, that is.”

Kou bites you again.

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Hahn...Mmh...”

*Sluuuuurp*

[10:14] “...Hah...! ...Hm? ...’More’? ...You can crave it more. I kind of like it when people yearn for me. ...I’ll plunge them inside even deeper than before...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Haah, haah...Ugh...Haah...I guess the smell is starting to fade a little?”

You moan.

“Fufu...Seems like you’re feeling rather good as well. Your body has completely given in to the pleasure, it feels as if your blood has become sweeter as well.”

Track 8: Irritation

Kou inspects your body.

*Rustle*

“Where else have they bitten you...? ー Ah, don’t tell me. I’ll try finding it myself this time...~ After the stomach, it has to be...The legs, right~?”

*Rustle*

[00:18] “Yes, I got it right! ...They sure love going for the risqué spots, don’t they? Hah! Right near your crotch (1) ...How lewd. On top of that, you can tell they’ve sucked from here repeatedly...Very dirty! I wonder what kind of expression you made as they sucked from here? Perhaps you didn’t realize it yourself, but they pretty much got a full view of aaaall your embarrassing places.”

You squeak.

“How embarrassing, gosh! ...But I’m sure you love that sorta stuff, don’t you? After all, I can see a glint of anticipation in your eyes. Or am I just imagining things? Is it because I’m the one doing this to you? ...Well, I guess I’ll figure out the answer to my own question once I bite you. Well then...”

*Rustle*

“Where should I leave my mark? ...Right here. I’ve settled on this spot.”

He bites you again.

*Gulp*

[01:28] “Mmh...Hah...Haha! What a lovely view...Fufu...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Seems like it’s making you weak as well...Look at you twist and turn your body like that...What a dirty girl you are.”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“ ーーHah! We’re still nowhere near done...Let me suck more and more...Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Hah...Hah...”

*Gulp*

[02:11] “Haah...Fuck...Could this be a trap of some sorts...? Fufu...I feel as if your blood is leading me straight to my own demise...Well, I guess that’s fine. As long as it feels good...whether it’s a trap or whatever, I’m not scared. Perhaps the person who set you up this way predicted this all along? ...Say.”

*Rustle*

[02:44] “I bet they knew that we would try and snatch you away like that. Guess we’re being mocked, huh? That pisses me off. ...You seem to be feigning ignorance but you’re part of the whole scheme, aren’t you? ...If you think this will all pass as long as you just obediently spread your legs, you’re gravely mistaken. I’ll give you something much, much, much more painful, you’d find yourself wishing you’d be dead instead...!”

*Thud*

Your eyes widen in horror.

“Hehe...”

*Gulp gulp*

[03:26] “...Heh. Does it feel good? Lucky you! I think you might be the first human who has gotten the honor to receive this much pleasure from me. Well, under normal circumstances, one bite is plenty to make any human ascend to Heaven, but in your case, the more I have, the more delicious your blood becomes and on top of that...You dare oppose me. It pisses me off. ...Mmh...”

*Gulp*

“...Hm? There’s marks on your thighs as well!”

*Rustle rustle*

[04:06] “I have to engrave my own mark here as well. ...Geez, I wonder what they find so appealing about these stick legs? I can’t relate, but I don’t like the idea of there being marks from someone other than me. ...Mmh..”

*Gulp*

“Nnh...”

*Gulp gulp*

[04:37] “...Hah...Ah...Haah...~ I feel sluggish for some reason...Have I been numbed? In that case, your blood is to blame. ...This is bad...Fufufu~ I just don’t understand how I want to keep an ugly girl such as yourself all to myself...Makes no sense, does it? I feel irritated by it myself but...I also just can’t help it. This strong desire for you keeps on welling up inside of me...What is happening to me? Geez...Honestly, it pisses me off! I’ve never felt this strongly attached to anything or anyone before!?”

*Rustle*

“Hahn...”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“...ー Hah!”

*Gulp gulp gulp*

“Mmh...Haah, haah...I can’t get enough...Do you want me more? ...So do I.”

*Gulp gulp*

[05:57] “Hah...Yearn for me more and more...You just need to keep your eyes on me. ...You belong to me now. Happy? Of course you are. If you continue to writhe around like that, I’ll give you never-ending pleasure.”

*Rustle*

“Mmh...Haahn...”

*Gulp gulp*

“Mmh...Nnh...”

*Gulp*

“Haah, haah...!”

*Gulp*

[06:37] “Haah...! I can’t...I still haven’t had enough...Hm. I still refuse to give you up. I’ll make you forget about those other guys in no time. I’m obsessing over you, so it only makes sense. ...Unlike those guys, I won’t call you prey either. You’re mine after all. ...Doesn’t that make you happy? I’m a gentleman after all~ I know how to make a girl happy. I’m sure you didn’t like being degraded by having them call you ‘prey’ either, right? Fufu...~”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー 

Translation notes

(1) 足の付け根 or ‘ashi no tsukene’ is the root/base of the leg where it connects to the hips. 

[woeisme-iamwoe]

an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 1

I went through my entire ao3 history because I’m insane, AND here’s my favorites. (There’s not a lot of aus because I’m not a huge fan of them, and there’s no sad endings. I’m a hopeless romantic leave me alone. There is angst though! Lots) 

Beginning with SakuAtsu (I’m a hoe for Atsumu): 

Hide and seek, by badreputation (10k. E. canonverse) 

It sure is a good thing Atsumu doesn't have a latex allergy 

It’s just a fleeting infatuation. As long as he pushes through it he’ll manage. So what if nowadays there isn’t a night where he doesn’t dream of Sakusa pinning him down on his own bed, in the shower or make Atsumu go down on his knees in the hallway? Those are just pesky details.

Some Memories, We May Keep, by mika60 (31k. T. canonverse) 

This is canon, fight me on it. 

The missing panels, the missing games, the missing moments.

The them we never saw.

*Now complete! :)*

 every action has an equal and opposite reaction, by akanemnida (10k. T. canonverse) 

Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

(Or: Sakusa Kiyoomi realizes that the rules governing the universe are absolute rubbish at explaining matters of the heart.)

 Ass-fingering as a prelude to relations of the emotional kind: a case study, by neverwere (2k. E. canonverse) 

Fucking hilarious, the imagery is absolutely hilarious. 

"Marry me, he thinks, as he comes around Sakusa's fingers and all over himself.

This. This is exactly why you don't let strangers or very attractive teammates finger you out of the blue.

Everyone knows that the ass is the shortest way to the heart."

Or

When it comes to sex, Atsumu has rules. Guidelines! SOPs! He swears they work, they've always worked.

Until they don't.

 parallax error: angle of inclination, by min_mintobe (10k. T. canonverse)

But now there's the one person Atsumu'd promised himself never to touch. His eyes leave Atsumu breathless with guilt at seventeen, and he spends the next six years safe in the satisfaction of making things right.

Feelings, of the physical kind, and one kiss.

ft. competitive spirit, childishness, and late night conversations.

Atsumu POV.

 autumn ends, but we remain, by wolfsbvne (5k. T. canonverse)

Author says in their ending notes that they're not an ‘author’, but methinks they should write more and pursue that career path because this was wonderful.  

atsumu stares at his ceiling at 2am. he stares until he can make out designs in his popcorn ceiling. a cat there, an onigiri here, and then something that suspiciously looks like a mop of hair, triangle eyebrows, and oh those two bumps are moles right above what atsumu just mapped out as an eye.

(or, atsumu is in kind of in love. sakusa is maybe in like.)

I left a taste in your mouth, by emso (26k. E. bodyguard au)

Because obviously 

Sakusa fixes him with a vague expression of something like distaste. There's a scathing edge to his tone when he speaks. "Contrary to what you seem to believe, not everyone who meets you is instantly dying to get into your pants, Miya."

"Lucky I don't really care right now what 'everyone' wants to do, then." Atsumu swivels his mug around on the tabletop a few times, and then brings it to his mouth to drain the last few dregs of his latte. Over the rim of his mug, he adds casually, "Just you."

Whoa hey Bodyguard Omi, I think Spoiled Rich Kid Tsumu might possibly have a teensy crush on you. 

 How do you know you're in love?, by spiritscript (12k. T. canonverse)

Pure art

“So, how did you know you were in love? How did it feel?” Atsumu felt nervous asking this, a slight wiggling in the pit of his stomach, unable to look at the man beside him who rolled his shoulders in an attempt to reset his posture. “I mean, you didn’t resonate with what I said, so, what is love to you Omi-kun?”

Atsumu thinks he must be in love with Hinata Shouyou and so asks the best person he knows to help him understand his feelings

 san'yo expressway, 6:17 pm, by yamabota (13k. T. canonverse)

Of violent forethoughts, and handheld car vacuums. 

Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe.

Kiss him again, maybe.

They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out. 

Different Kinds of Dysfunctional, by DeathBelle (Series, 5 works. T-E. Canonverse)

Honestly, I think this one is kind of famous amongst Sakuatsu readers but I can’t not include it. If I recall correctly, this is the fic that got me into Sakuastu, so thanks, DeathBelle. The characters are portrayed really well (i.e. Sakusa is disgusted and confused, and Atsumu is a little shit). You’ve got a good balance between conversations and descriptive thoughts and all-in-all it’s just a really good read. 

 Atsumu said into the heavy silence, “You can’t say you’ve never thought about it.”

"Thought about what?" said Sakusa.

Atsumu smiled to himself, smug. "You know."

"No, I don't."

"You know. Of course you’ve thought about it. There’s no reason to be ashamed, Omi-kun. I’m a real catch.”

Sakusa was appalled. "You're disgusting."

"You flatter me. I'm not judging you. I can't lie and say I haven't thought about it, too."

Sakusa shifted, slowly, to peer over his shoulder. He wasn’t scowling, but his expression was unreadable. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Atsumu wasn't joking, and he was about to get more than he bargained for.

i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands), by liliapocalypse (7k words. T. canonverse):

Oh, god. This one was so cute. Super fluffy. Loved the metaphors and symbolism. Sometimes you just can’t say things out loud. 

When a bad injury shocks the whole V. League, Sakusa finds himself paired with Atsumu for more rigorous assisted stretches before every training. Atsumu then finds himself writing random letters on Sakusa’s skin to soothe the spiker, forcing Sakusa to reevaluate how his touch aversion became an irresistible yearning for more, and how the boy with the annoying hair somehow brought that hunger to life.

Or, the fic where Atsumu mindlessly writes a confession on Sakusa’s back when he thought Sakusa wasn't paying attention. Sakusa always did.

 mortality is found is the flesh of your sins, by novrik (10k. M. canonverse)

This is literally my favorite fic of all time. Not just of Sakuatsu, not even of the Haikyuu fandom. Ever. Favorite fic ever. Listen, I’m an atheist, but this fic took me on a religious experience that I haven't come down from yet. The symbolism had me actually shivering, and I had to put my phone down quite a few times. Just, oh wow, just read it. I’d like to share my favorite line; ‘And if Sakusa is Eve, if he takes a bite, what then? Perhaps, he is a little afraid of the knowledge he will gain’. My god, author, if you ever see this, this is not only a plea for you to continue writing, but also an offer of marriage. Your hand, author?

 dickhead one, sakusa kiyoomi. dickhead two, miya atsumu. neither understand how to communicate.

Pray tell, why are you drawn to him?

Are you drawn to him in the way he looks beautiful even when crying?

When his eyes are red, shiny tears streaking down, lips quivering, is he beautiful?

 sakuatsu domesticity simulator, by pseudoanalytics (75 words. T. canonverse)

75 words because it's actually a digital art simulator. An interactive fic! How frickin’ cool is that? The art is so beautiful and I love the plotline and ugh, just everything. Please read, or watch, or click around, yes. Good. 

Update: artist created another interactive fic and of course it is wonderful. SunaOsa this time! https://newttxt.itch.io/cheesecake honestly just check out @newttxt their work is amazing and I love everything they do. 

a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy

***

(this is the result of letting the sakuatsu brainworms really get to you...)

 Pas De Deux, by hatsuna (19k words. T. Ballet/college au)

There's just something about prim, proper ballet Sakusa and human-benign-tumor Atsumu that makes my heart burst. Seriously gorgeous writing style, loved every second. By the same author who wrote ‘liminal spaces’ (which is also just perfect) so that should give you a good idea of the style. 

The mystery athlete gives Kiyoomi a once over in the mirror. “Yer pretty tall,” he observes. The twang of an accent rasps low in his throat. His brazen eyes drift to Kiyoomi’s legs, and something like exhilaration glints gold in his gaze. “Good quads, too. Ya ever played volleyball?”

 Ah. So it’s volleyball.

“I’m a dancer. Ballet and contemporary, mostly.”

 the affective presence of our black and white reruns, by kozumess (19k. E. canonverse)

Beautiful, classic misunderstandings, my heart actually physically ached at that one scene (you’ll know the scene when you come to it). Kiyoomi is so refreshingly relaxed(? Is that the right word to use? We all know Omi never truly relaxes). 

but the want, it's always there, constant like the static playing on every television channel, present even when the station disconnects.

 cut the conversation, just open your mouth, by meeksoo (E. 16k. canonverse)

Absolutely filthy...BUT WITH FEELINGS! Completely nails the Sakuatsu dynamic, and protective ‘Tsumu? Love it. 

Sakusa opens the door. He always does.

 They’re teammates first, barely even friends. But they hook up on the regular and it works. It’s simple, easy. But then a fan gets too close, Sakusa reacts, and Atsumu is swept up in how quickly things can get complicated.

__

As Atsumu palms himself over his briefs, still feeling off, he realizes it’s because he still wants it. Him. Sakusa. Even after already having him earlier.

He should probably feel self-conscious, mildly ashamed even, that he’s panting ‘Omi Omi’ into the dark beneath the steady thrum of the AC unit when Sakusa’s right down the hall, probably good for it if Atsumu ended up back at his door. Instead, he lays there, writhing and sweaty, alone in his hotel room bed thinking about Sakusa and touching himself.

Afterward, as cum begins to cool on his chest, Atsumu really can’t help but face the fact that things may be getting complicated.

 the hands that beckon me to come, by Ellieb3an (4k. E. canonverse)

So hot, what the fuck! 

The toss, the run, the spike-serve at the end of it all—Sakusa sees it happen in perfect clarity as if time has slowed and his vision narrows to the center where just Miya exists, all powerful muscle and extraordinary skill and that air of confidence.

Sakusa isn’t one of the best receivers in the league for no reason, so his body moves on muscle memory, forearms absorbing the sting of the hit. It’s not enough. But his eyes are still on Miya—on the way his shorts ride up his muscular thighs as he lands, on the bead of sweat dripping down his forehead, on the clench of his fist thrust into the air—when the ball ricochets out of bounds.

***

Atsumu stays late at practices to work on his new third serve, even when his frustration with it starts throwing off the rest of his game. Sakusa notices and starts hanging back to secretly watch him from the gym doors. He’s fascinated with Atsumu's determination... and more than a little turned on by it, too.

 you're the flame i use (when it gets dark), by starkartifices (55k. M. canonverse. Ongoing)

Everything is the same except the Sakusas are super rich. 

“Oh, if you want dear, you could bring a plus one. Though, I doubt you have a partner yet.”

“I do actually.”

“What was that, dear?”

"I do have a partner, I mean."

alt title: crazy rich sakusas 

 the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or; the fine art of emotional recognition), by pseudoanalytics (13k. E. canonverse)

Ah, yes. A Pavloved sex life. A Pavloved LOVE life?? 

It's stupid. Atsumu isn't a romantic, no matter how many times he's imagined laying Sakusa out and finally really touching him.

So there's no explanation for why Atsumu is constantly stuck thinking about brushing his fingertips against the meat of Sakusa's palms or the prominent tendons in his freaky wrists.

There's no explanation for why doing dishes sets off a warm burn in his ribcage, or why when he smells disinfectant he inhales like he's walking past a bakery.

Yer doin' this to me, he thinks furiously, as Sakusa derails his thoughts with kisses that come more and more frequently now. Yer conditionin' me, and I can't stop it.

 flutterbird (a collection of sakuatsu oneshots), by wordstruck (5 works. T-E. canonverse)

Works 1-3, I think follow a linear story, whereas the last two don't. 

All sakuatsu works are just the angstiest, most miscommunication filled pieces of absolute gold and this one is no exception. Wow. These men are assholes and they bring out the worst in each other, but I’ll be damned if they’re not soulmates. 

Collection of SakuAtsu fics. Several fics are loosely set in the same storyverse. Not necessarily directly connected and can all be read as standalones.

[bae-science]

it’s t-t-t-t-time for another newt bae-science fic rec extravabonanza! same rules, same boys, same bullshit! let’s get into it:

a beginning; a second chance by @dykesword

other newt and i have a long and intricate ritualistic battle to become the alpha newt, but i gotta give credit where it’s due. if you like to annotate your books for fun, this fic will give you a looooong comment you’ll want to write, and for good reason! there’s a lot of really well done metaphor and character detail in here, while still keeping a very soft, melancholy but with a hopeful edge tone. and also, like, the care and detail in which newt’s mental state in the aftermath of the precursors’ abuse is depicted is so so good, and delightful to read

husbandly duties by @kingeiszler

i am soooo biased with this one bc technically it was made for me but GODDAMN it’s good. this shit has everything: gottlieb trio sibling dynamics, vanessa in giant femme earrings, hermann yearning, newt and karla infodumping together, newt’s terrible and accurate gaydar, gay crime, the newmann dynamic and why it works boiled down to its bare essentials, pride and prejudice glasses touch, and neon green acrylics. required reading for the vanessaverse

Say That Again by @robertfrobisherslover

WOOF. if you like mutual pining and lack of communication from men with rocks for their emotional processing centers, and guncle (gay uncle) newt and hermann and KILLER artsy sex scenes, and themes of words unsaid in a story about LANGUAGE..... oogoogogoogouhufug. the writing style is clear and well paced, i LOVE little mako’s scene she’s such a cutie, and there’s like. a line. that’s a play on the whole “it’s always been you” trope. that lives in my mind rent free forever.

speak right to my heart without saying a word by @thekaidonovskys

i’m just gonna paste the comment i left on it here, because that sums up what is so absolutely incredible about this fic the best:

so sometimes you stumble on a piece of fiction that you add to your little collection of stuff you would show a person if you wanted them to understand a part of you that you can't quite explain eloquently, or it would take too long, etc etc, and i've never really found something like that for my autism until now, which, like, poggers. and i'll be as straight up as i can while still being the biggest lesbian in the great state of ohio (not a hard feat but alan invented computers so i love continuing on the autistic tradition of being a living miracle), the chameleon effect hit me like a mack truck. catholic school in the deep south is the most potent and effective form of ABA therapy imaginable :/. so sometimes i wonder what i would be like if i didn't have such a strong ability to pass, and here's where we finally get to the part of this comment where i just vomit compliments at you: you nailed it. you got it. i don't know if you're on the spectrum, but either way, well fucking done. trauma therapy research talks a lot about healing fantasies, which are fantasies, usually in the form of daydreams, that abused/neglected/traumatized/etc people create that directly address a struggle they have and take the form of a scenario in which that struggle is helped in some way. it could be an abusive parent repenting and showering them with the love they never had, or someone finding them during a panic attack and somehow knowing how best to comfort them without having to ask, or being intimate with someone and having a scar or physical deformity they've been shamed for be given attention and care. and i think you have created the ultimate perfect healing fantasy for autistic people, or at least those with """"high functioning"""" autism. it has a character who is visibly and undeniably on the spectrum having the pain and trauma going through life like that causes being acknowledged and validated, they are purposefully paid attention to because person b genuinely likes them and wants to understand and respect who they are and how they function in the world, and thus get The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known as well as the eventual rewards of being loved, person b makes a genuine effort to help teach them social skills in a way they can understand and learn through and is there for them when these skills are being practiced, their space and boundaries are respected but they aren't infantilized or thought of as an emotionless robot, and they receive love and comfort on their own terms not despite of but because of who they are, even specifically being asked not to change the way they are because that way is lovable. they are openly desired. writing is my fucking JOB and it's still difficult to put into words how much you got 100000% right about the dream with this fic. i have been in the EXACT and i mean EXACT same situation as hermann when he asked newt if it was his personality itself that made people not like him, because i deadass made a spreadsheet of all my personality attributes i thought could be preventing me from making friends in college, and then asked my fellow nd friend to see if there was anything i was missing. so i guess what i'm trying to say is that this amazing, and i'm bookmarking it and putting it on my next fic rec post, and maybe one day way way in the future if i ever get a partner i want to explain the whole autism thing to, i'm gonna have them read this.

The Facts With Newton Geiszler, PhD by what_alchemy (NSFW)

storytime: i read this fic a few years ago, completely forgot the title and author, and ended up thinking about the part where hermann admits to having fucked a trailer hitch when he was a teenager, at least once a week. last november, i say to my friend samara on twitter, head of the BSHCU (buttslut hermann cinematic universe), hey this seems like something you’d have read, do you remember a fic where... and samara says FUCK i do know what you’re talking about lemme find it. so if the fact that i have been looking for this fic for like, two years, and that it contains a moment so iconic all i had to say is, “hermann says he fucked a trailer hitch” and she IMMEDIATELY knew what i was talking about, does not convince you to read this... go back to catholic school i guess.

Feeling Blue by TempusPetrichor

fics where newt goes back to work as a biologist, especially a xenobiologist, post pru are really interesting, and usually have something neat to say about recovery, how it isn’t linear, how it often involves us returning to things we love for comfort, etc. this one sure does! some good emotional and physical h/c, LOVE the use of the ghost drift, and it’s always fun to see post pru fics use dialogue very obviously taken from dbt, trauma-specific therapeutical texts, and anything that shows the author has experience with, or did their research on, ptsd therapies.

You’re Everyone That Ever Cared by KlavierWrites

you know a fic is good when it’s an only 9k slowburn and still manages to reach infinite regress levels of are you fucking KIDDING GO TO THERAPY. newt “acts of service” geiszler may have a little misplaced misogyny due to his broken woman-centric gaydar. as a treat. the fucking. post-drift scene where hermann subtextually screams “LOOK IN OUR BRAINS YOU FUCK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU I JUST HAVE AUTISM AND CAREER IN STEM DISORDER” is soooooo. god just hermann in general in that scene is great. if you like classic mid 2010s era newmann, ghost drift romance, and good ole mutual pining, this is a treat.

Baby, You're Hotter than my Bunsen Burner by SkySongMA

moronosexual hermann representation is something that can actually be so personal

Times of Stress by RadioMoth

the boys are processinggggggg. man what a good, quick and powerful punch to the gut. if you like post-pr1 catharsis and physical h/c, AND are the one friend that likes to comment at the end of the movie that hey newt got beat the fuck UP, check this one out.

black tea by @faggotcas

okay first of all, god fucking tier url, lee. second of all, food as a love language is my SHIT. i love the very slow relationship development here, where you see them making a genuine effort to get along and that in turn leading to feelings reigniting. it’s such a sweet little moment of a fic, with a nice atmosphere and tone to fit it

now here’s the part where i usually drop my latest fic, but i haven’t written one this month because i’ve been busy launching an audio drama! you can find it here, it’ll be right up your alley if you like cryptids and gay scientists and enemies to lovers and good ole americana, but since this is a newmann post, i’m gonna recommend the pacific rim audio drama duology i did a while back! part one is called conversations from the brink, and it’s a little slice of the pr3 we better fucking get from streaming that godawful looking anime. love and lesbians to everyone ❤️

[spnfanficpond]

April 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

**Also, due to the number of afas and multiple nominations, each person on this list will only be tagged once. Please be sure to read the entire post so you don’t miss multiple nominations/comments!**

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE APRIL’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Slow (oneshot) by @sunlightdances

Intimacy is sooooo sexy xox

Nominated by @manawhaat

Ritual (oneshot) by @winchester-fantasies

This fic is grounded, subtle, realistic, and has an incredible energy between Dean and the reader! There’s so many little things that play into the bigger picture to make this really flow and work seamlessly as a whole!

Temporary Scars (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Fucking hell. Dean x Donna x Benny is such a rare pair that it’s NOT something I knew I needed, but everything about this dynamic is fucking perfect. It’s a bit of an AU, but I still love the way each character was represented. What they all brought to the table and how they balanced each other out in exactly the ways they needed. There’s a dynamic here that I haven’t seen before, especially not with THESE characters, and they complement each other fucking GORGEOUSLY! 

Boyking fic (oneshot) by @whispersandwhiskerburn

This shit is fucking CRAFTY! There’s a lot of little things that carry through this and the way that ‘control’ is presented in each scene of this fic is very cool. 

Calm (series) by @winchesterswoonathon

Oof! This John series just totally fucks me up. It’s perfect in the way you swoon over him and yearn to see a side of him he so rarely shows others. Maggie definitely knows how to nail the pining for John angle! 

Dream Drabble (oneshot) by @theychosefamily

Sam’s comfort and sincerity in this kill me! It may have been inspired by a dream, but this tracks so well for each of them and could definitely be a scene plucked from the show! 

The Unexpected (oneshot) by @impalaimagining

Goddamn this is sexy as all hell! It’s intense and passionate and scary and dazzlingly wonderful! 

Nominated by @flamencodiva

Three’s A Crowd (series) by @1000roughdrafts

So I was browsing Kay’s Masterlist and came upon this very lovely Gem! I would love to see what happens next and I know Kay is extremely busy, but she is a talented writer and I wanted to put this lovely work out there. It is a wonderful concept and I can’t wait to see what happens!

Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

A good way to rot your teeth with Dean fluff. This story pulls on your heartstrings and can be just what you need when you feel down.  

The Pact (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

This is an amazing AU Sam Fic! It is well written and traps you into the fantasy world from the very beginning. I can’t wait to see the roller coaster that is this story as it is beginning to unfold! 

Nominated by @deanwanddamons

The Sullivan Series (series) by @katehuntington​

I binge read this series and adore it. Zoe is such a badass and an awesome OFC.

It is so good it could easily be written as a series of SPN and I am really hoping it is continued as I can’t wait for the next series. Kate is such an awesome person, hugely supportive and a big influence on me as a writer. This series deserves so much more recognition.

Ride With Me (seires) by @katehuntington

This series is divine. I am so invested in this right now. The way Kate writes is a true inspiration to me and this AU is stunning. Her story telling and descriptions are totally immersive and I am so excited to see where she takes us on this journey.

He’s Not You (series) by @mummybear​

This series is awesome! It’s really building momentum and I’m loving where it’s going. Such a great idea for a story and can’t wait to see where Chelsea takes us!

The Man on the Side of the Road (series) by @supernatural-jackles​

This series was beautiful. I was so invested in this and so sad when it came it an end. It was very cathartic for me to read as I related to the reader so much.

Shatter Me (series) by  @winchest09​

This series is incredible. Such a superb concept and I love the way it has been written. The feeling of isolation and Dean’s desperation to save her had me engrossed all the way through. A must read.

D.W. (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage​

I have recently ventured into dark fic and was recommended this.

Demon!Dean is just 🔥 and this fic is dark, sexy and very explicit. And holy shit I LOVED IT!

Nominated by @moosekateer13​

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage

What I really loved about it shows the love can change your whole perspective of the world when love is thrown into the mix.  

The Ones You Love (series) by @kittenofdoomage

It shows how far the Winchester's are willing go when it comes to their family.  

Cosa Nostra (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved how in the end love and their bond was stronger than an obstacles that were thrown in their way.

Paid In Full (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved it! It taught you look past what you see at first.   

Poor Little Rich Girl (series) by @winchesterprincessbride​

Love how it showed the money is isn't everything love is more important.  

Political Animals  (series) by @winchesterprincessbride

Loved the sometimes it showed the its better to break away from people who are trying to control your life.  

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy​

Loved how it to taught you to look past first impressions and that there is always more than meets the eye.

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​

Control and Release - 30 (series) by @thecleverdame​

I think I might’ve nominated this series before, when I wasn’t caught up yet, but I am now and I just have to recommend this chapter. The entire story is gold but this chapter in particular had me sucked right into the scene at the end. The intensity of the fight and the way they deal with everything that is going on; the emotions, the worlds outside of their little bubble of safety. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it for whoever hasn’t read this series yet. But, if you are one of those people, I highly recommend you change that ASAP.

The Secrets We Keep (series) by @princessmisery666​

Better late than never, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to ease the guilt I’m feeling for how long it took me to finally read this series like I said I would. I didn’t enjoy it any less, that’s for sure. And that was even before I got to the twist that made it even better. I loved the vulnerability between Sam and Erin, and the different kind of friendship she had with Dean.

Cabin Fever (long oneshot) by @slytherkins​

I’ve already attempted (and failed) to express my thoughts on this story to the author privately, so I won’t try again here, in risk of my heart shattering all over again. But what I definitely will say (and I will break into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment to scream it from their balcony if I have to) is this: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING and go read this fic if you haven’t already. It’s a heavy read, yes. But it is more than worth it, I promise you.

Equanimous (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill​

I love the tension in this scene. The boys are so in character and I could picture the demons perfectly. And, of course, Cas storming in, being badass, and saving the day, that’s always a plus.

Non-existent (oneshot) by @waywardjoy​

I’m definitely a sucker for a good crack-fic. To be honest, when I read the summary I was already sold. That signature bickering between the boys never gets old, does it?

Nominated by @impalaimagining

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Physically speaking, on the list of things I love about Dean Winchester, this checks almost every single box. I love the little things you’re noticing about Dean as the reader - his freckles, the contrast between his skin and the black shirt he’s wearing, exactly which Zeppelin song he’s singing while he works. The teasing is a nice touch too, especially the line about the night before. Proud Dean is so cute, and it’s exactly how I would expect him to react to being the hero around the house.

Nominated by @impala-dreamer

Almost Paradise (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches​ 

Amanda always always writes the fluff so well, but this little bit of bittersweet longing is delicious. Also, she nails Dean EVERY TIME. One of those writers who just gets Dean’s voice down so perfectly. Very Very well done!

Enough Time (oneshot)  by @dissect-me​ 

I was just scrolling the pond list and found this wonderful Destiel fic. I mean… the emotions were intense and I was a mess by the end. Just lovely and so well done. I will be diving back through their masterlist for more Destiel!!

  Nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Life For Rent (series) by @winchest09

@katehuntington told me to go read this so I did and I do not regret it. An amazingly sexy (and at times, heartbreaking) series, not for the faint of heart. Totally waiting on edge for the next chapter.

Call Of The Ocean (series) by @flamencodiva and @anatheweirdo​

I’m fairly certain I’ve nominated this before but it’s so good, I’m gonna nominate it again. You will absolutely become invested in Thasman’s well-being.

Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67​

Communion (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

But Dean’s natural state is this – nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm. He speaks softly and quietly. His voice isn’t always rough and hard. He sings. MY FEELS. This is beautiful and heart-wrenching all at once.

Sex with Dean is always really good. A lot of times it’s a rushed, life-affirming kind of thing. So when we have time, every touch is at once charged and grounded. And when we have time and are also able to imbibe? It’s metamorphic. All of this, just one perfect line after another. WOW

Just to be his in our own little bubble. And this, this is exactly how this story feels- so close and heavy and perfect Amazing work,.Like, really astounding.

Synesthesia (oneshot) by @there-must-be-a-lock​

Lou took this prompt and did something wildly creative! It’s so well done that the reader can see and feel and taste it.

Wild Thing (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock

I am in love with the Everything series so, so much. Lou has done a beautiful job of building a world with J2 x reader, so loving and creative and hot. This one is, for sure, a favorite! Incorporates one of my favorite quotes into a smoking hot fic. Good work!!

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional​

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams.

6 paragraphs in, and I knew Val was going to break my heart. This is a gorgeous gorgeous story! Creative premise, great characterization, and written so that you can see and taste and feel every moment.

I found myself wanting to both read faster, and slow down and savor it. And yes, it broke my heart, but so beautifully that I would let it happen over and over again.

Weight (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter​

This one is short and both painful and beautiful. So very heavy with experience and meaning. An excellent example of the ways that our favorite characters can help inspire us, lift us and encourage us to keep going

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords​

Kathy is new-ish to the SPN family but not to either writing or fandom, and it is immediately apparent in her first piece of SPN fanfic. Her creative storyline, her grasp of the characters, and her way with words make it immediately apparent that you are reading the work of a master!

Salvation (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence​

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left. These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author  gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar. The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose? This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam! It’s easy to forget sometimes what a fearsome hunter he is, but this author reminds us with razor sharp clarity.

“You’re safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me.“ Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It’s no wonder he’s fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action and some sweet hotness! Plus the author does such a good job with Sam, I’m in love with him all over again. I haven’t read this author much before but you’d better believe I won’t miss a story now!

Casual Affair (oneshot) by @fookinghelljensensthighs​

This Dean x Benny fic is short, smoking hot and painfully good. A must read!

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661​

The Force of Habit (series) by @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ 

I read that series at least 3 times now. I love this story, its witty and funny. This fic just makes me smile without trying! Even after reading 3 times, I still thoroughly enjoyed it like it was the first time.  

Satisfied (series) by @crashdevlin​

This is so good, the emotion that this series makes me feel is just out of this world!

Dangerous Signs (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Rhi always has brilliant idea!!! This is one of those and I just can’t get enough of her writing.

Control and Release (series) by @thecleverdame

What start as mostly just porn turned into such a great series with twist and turns!

Hunger (oneshot0 by @impala-dreamer

Oof… what to say about this? it’s Beka! It’s hot and sweaty and makes me want more! Like everything she writes!

Nominated by @myinconnelly1​

Couldn’t Resist (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

This is fun, funny, and sexy. Short sweet and to the point, while still getting you hot under the collar!!!

Dark Obsession (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Where do I even start in this drabble! It's so fucking cute and funny! I was laughing out loud and could totally see TFW trying to play their parts here

Promise Me We’ll Be Alright (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

What a pain in the heart this fic was. It hurt so good!! I was ready to cry

Say My Name (oneshot) by @idabbleincrazy​

Smoking hot! While in general Baby-girl is a turn off for me, this fic is so far from it! funny at the start with some cracky dean who is caught in the middle, then getting some possessive Sam which is like my fav! 

I’ll See You on Your Birthday (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

SOOO MUCH FLUFF!!! Like seriously i needed a dentist after. Some cute ABO pregnancy right here!

Just A Number (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

Again Sexy and Funny (I have a type ok) This was a great use of Age Gap and it wasn't creepy and didn't need a little blue pill at all!

Happily Ever After (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

HAPPILY EVER AFTER! It's all i need to say!!!! Read It!

Missing Person (oneshot) by @emilyshurley​

This fic is by my favoritest human in the world!!! It’s hilarious and silly but also almost canon. Plus I make a cameo as Garth’s friend!!! What’s not to love!!! 

Nominated by @lovetusk​

The Only Exception (series) by @ne-gans​ & @negans-lucille-tblr​  

While only the prequel so far, I’m too hyped for this beauty to NOT nominate it.

Survive (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage 

I’m always here for some Alpha!Sam, but this one punched me right in the feels. How dare anyone keep him from his Omega.

He Wasn’t In Love With You (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87  

Dawn doesn't angst often, but sometimes she does and I love it.

Nominated by @there-must-be-a-lock

Noises (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter 

Just. HOT. Hot hot hot like burning. Dom!Cas playing Dean like a goddamn fiddle... what more can you ask for!?

Come For Me (oneshot) by @fangirlxwritesx67 

My favorite thing this author has published so far! There are a whole lot of emotions in this one, adrenaline and fear and relief and lust and tenderness, and you can feel the depth of everything going on between them and the chaos of the moment. Also, nailed the “oh shit where did this predatory hotass come from” feeling that I totally imagine would happen during a first time with Sammy.

Plus One (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield 

This is smutty and raunchy and HOT but it also manages to nail the sweet, loving side of Dean. Smut can so easily be one-dimensional, but this fic managed to be both filthy and tender in a way that feels 150% true to character.

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional 

An absolutely stunning exploration of some parallel universe Deans. Gorgeously vivid language, such incredible character accuracy, borderline heartbreaking but in a way that isn’t hopeless; it makes you feel FULL. My favorite SPN fic I’ve read in a long time.

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords 

Incredibly evocative, gorgeous wistful tone, and a couple little plot twists that hit you with all the right feels.

Nominated by @winchest09

All I Want (series) by @katehuntington

I love this, so much. I love the take on this particular episode and how in fact it brings back the reader instead of *spoiler*. It’s still ongoing and it’s already tugging on heartstrings and has made me cry so if you read this, grab your tissues!

Ride With Me (series) by @katehuntington

This series has my heart. Like this could be a published book that i would read cover to cover, over and over. The spine would be broken, pages glued in because i would have read it that much. How everything is described, how the world is painted, the characters, the setting…just everything. It’s a must read..A MUST READ.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (series) by @talesmaniac89​

This broke my heart. This was so beautifully written to the point i was sobbing behind my screen mumbling incoherent words to my husband before talking to a few other tumblr blogs about it. If you read this, have tissues handy. Dean was so in character and my heart will never be the same. Must read.

The Man In Apartment 43 (series) by @talesmaniac89

This series has me so intrigued! It’s written amazingly, has me gasping, has me seriously flinching at some of the creepy goings on and I cannot wait to see where this goes! It’s an ongoing series and I’m loving it!

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

This lovely little drabble satisfies all my domestic dean needs. Covering his fine ass, arms and back. I mean…Come on! It’s just everything that you need in a bite size package. I absolutely loved it!

Nominated by @katehuntington

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today (oneshot)  by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea on the side.

You’re Home (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

A drabble that’s absolutely worth mentioning, is this short story. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art. 

Imagine Dean debating asking you out (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

I Just Called To Say I Love You (oneshot) @talesmaniac89

This one hurts bad, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterisation beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

Side By Side (series) by @talesmaniac89

Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

The Voices (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss​

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

Nicotine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over. 

 My Hero (oneshot) by @plaidstiel-wormstache​  

What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read. 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[expression-in-its-essence]

The Goldfinch movie.

7 min 26 secs in : Why the fuck did they start the movie like that. Why didn't the explosion take place? Theo's mom's apartment? His anxiety? Also.. why do they keep cutting the scenes abruptly? They ain't tweets... No limit.. then??

8 min 2 sec in : Okay they went to the apartment. Audrey's sweater deserved more screen time. The lipstain on the mug in focus *chef's kiss* poetic cinema!

9 min 19 sec in : Do you see what I see? Tom Cable's face has a stark resemblance to Boris's face. Did Theo have a crush on him?

9 min 54 sec in : Mr Barbour's hand is shaking. I like that they put it in there. He was sick. Nice. (I'd imagined Audrey's apartment building entrance like they showed the Barbour's apartment building entrance. Wild.)

11 min 8 sec in : Don't shove it into his face that y'all are fancy okay? He's not used to that life style. He didn't have maids making his bed. ARE YOU GIVING HIM DRUGS, MRS BARBOUR? But you just glared at your husband for offering him the same sort of thing?? Oh God. Poor child. "it's perfectly understandable" my ass. You gave him meds just because your sleep was getting affected.

14 min 39 sec : Woah woah woah Theo wtf you're so smol how'd you do that? Also... Again. The frame of Theo and Tom standing close and Theo and Boris standing close when they kissed, Theo is wearing the same damn sweater.

16 min 58 sec in : Ayyyy Jeffery Wright!

20 min 33 sec in : "He drank a lot", Theo about his dad. Honey just wait up, you will too. (The grilled sandwich and the cute lil smile 😍 also this is the first time since the movie started that Oakes' voice isn't deep.)

23 min 54 sec in : Wizard of Oz poster, I see you!

24 min 19 sec in : I love how Oakes is expressing being caught off guard. Theo knows he did something bad and every time he's dealing with something he didn't expect to deal with, he's like OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE PAINTING AND IM FUCKED even if no one knows.

25 min 1 sec in : The glasses made a difference. He went from mature to cute. Angry bird to angry birb.

25 min 44 sec in : Another sweater? Or was this THE sweater of Audrey? (Off topic but Oakes is hella cute. I could murder anyone who hurts him.)

29 min 9 sec in : Pippa doesn't remember or doesn't wanna remember? There was something in her eyes that was hard to read. Also, why doesn't anyone say 'I'm sorry about your mom' to Theo? Do Americans not care? It's weird to see no response when he tells people that Audrey is dead.

31 min 17 sec in : "The Goldfinch, destroyed"? Then why is Theo upset. Good riddance. Oh yeah. I know why. It's Donna Tartt we're talking about.

32 min 39 sec in : Hobie just casually predicting the future. "It's only fake if you pass it on as an original". Theo's like, "noted, gonna do exactly that".

34 min 16 sec in : Why does Theo write like a five year old child? That's toddler handwriting! And omg all the Andy-prom-dress memes are making sense now. (Also did I mention that Mrs Barbour seems more selfish in the film than she does in the book. Like hey I'm putting up with this kid because he helps my kid. He's serving a purpose for me. What the hell.) (How old is Andy anyway? He looks younger than Theo. I think he's different. Didn't grow up like other kids. That was mentioned in the book right?)

35 min 20 sec in : Ayyy Hobie's earring!

35 min 49 sec in : He shopped for himself? Nice! Didn't know kids could shop without adult supervision in the West. (Because they can't in the East.)

35 min 50 sec in : Ayyyy Sarah Paulson! Damn she's hot. How can you dislike her? *heart eyes*

37 min 30 sec in : I can't bring myself to hate Luke Wilson since Skeleton Twins but SHUT THE FUCK UP LARRY! AUDREY DESERVED BETTER. Look at how Larry and Xandra are looking at the place like they're vultures.

39 min 34 sec : They got the airport scene right. STOP GIVING HIM DRUGS WTH IS WRONG WITH THE ADULTS IN THIS MOVIE!

41 min 12 sec in : Ayyy Popper!!!!!

43 min 27 sec in : It just dawned on Theo that he's alone. Oh god. My poor baby.

45 min 12 sec in : Let me take this moment to say that Ashleigh Cummings is pretty. And I finally get why y'all were pissed at the non linear storyline and the weird voiceovers. Guess I'd been prepared for that so it didn't really suck that much.

49 min 30 sec in : I'd imagined Boreo reunion like the Platt Theo reunion. In the day. Dang it. Also... Adult Platt Barbour was not supposed to be good looking? In the book?

55 min 34 sec in : Without context, none of it could make sense. Apologies to whoever didn't read the book beforehand. Crowley fucked this up.

58 min in : Ayyyy Finn Wolfhard! BORIS IS HERE AND IM SO EXCITED IDK WHY

1 hour in : It's such a Boris thing to leave the bag unzipped.

1 hour 3 min 20 sec in : Slumdog Millionaire's Jai Ho (2008) is playing in the background. The only song that I've recognized so far. Wow. Lets me know about the time setting. Nice.

1 hr 3 min in : Someone gif " That cost twenty dollars!" *Stare* "That would have cost twenty dollars!"

1 hr 8 min in : So Boris's room is exactly like I had imagined but Theo's room isn't. Boris just mentioned Kotku though.

1 hr 9 min 14 sec in : Isn't it hella hot in Vegas? Why are they wearing sweaters? Or does drug intake make you more vulnerable to the environment?

1 hr 10 min 15 sec in : Xandra Theo argument : gold. "Cocktail sausages that you like." I wanna laugh in Crowley's face. What was he thinking?? Omg I'm dying.

1 hr 11 min 17 sec in : The slap sound didn't work??

1 hr 13 min 53 sec in : I like serious Boris better.

1 hr 14 min in : The slum house Audrey dream thing was not in the book. That's an entirely new addition.

1 hr 18 min 26 sec in : The Welty Theo scene is awesome. The sound effects work. I feel suffocated. The ambulance noise fiasco is also nicely pulled off. (also Theo's Yellow bag was dirty af then how did it get all clean when he didn't even do anything to it?)

1 hr 20 min 57 sec in : Shhhh Potter.

1 hr 22 min in : Holy shit he got slapped twice!! Ouch! And Larry's audacity to tell Theo to stop with the crying?? Good thing he died. Asshole.

1 hr 25 min in : "You don't tell me a lot of things but that's okay". I see what you did there, Boris. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 26 min in : "Act normal" - Theo knows his way around drugs pretty well, doesn't he?

1 hr 30 min in : "No family No friends" line punched me in the face. (Also awww popchik's excuse was the last resort for Boris to make Theo stay.)

1 hr 31 min 17 sec in : That pause after "What do you have to tell me?". You can clearly see Boris struggling to hold something back. Which was of course, I love you.

1 hr 31 min 34 sec in : What the fuck is that music? Oh heyyyyyy they kissed!-- he fucking runs away?? Also what kind of a kangaroo runs like that? (Yes, the taxi driver watched. I don't have to wonder anymore.) (They didn't address why he took the bus instead of flying?)

1 hr 33 min in : I didn't imagine Welty's room like that at all. Also why doesn't Hobie seem happy to see Theo again?

1 hr 35 min in : Longer stretches of one storyline are kinda bearable. From drugs in storage unit to waking up beside Kitsey. We got Vegas and Young Theo. Nice. (Also, who the heck puts jewelry in shoes? Is Theo that dumb? And now I can't think of anything else than Boris piercing his ear for the emerald earring. Tumblr has fucked it up bad.)

1 hr 43 min in : They nailed the Kitsey Theo confrontation.

1 hr 44 min in : Ayyy Ozma of Oz!

1 hr 48 min in : I noticed it before but I wasn't sure... Now I am. Pippa has Welty's ring. On her finger. At all times. (also, is NYC always that noisy? Must suck to walk on the roads.)

1 hr 52 min 23 sec in : They nailed the Theo Pippa date. What's that song playing in the background? I want the name. It's almost like two hours and I still haven't seen Aneurin Barnard once. Why! (Jerome's mentioned in the movie btw.)

1 hr 52 min 51 sec in : Complained too soon. Boris is sat in the dark doing god knows what. My man Aneurin is here!

1 hr 53 min 37 sec in : BOREO REUNIONNNNNN - no don't look at me like that I only watched it thrice.

1 hr 56 min in : Boris saying "it's someone else" with a knowing look and Theo looking at him. The frickin yearning.

1 hr 57 min in : Boris is like you're unhappy, I'm here, we're both rich, let's f*ck. "We could"... What are you suggesting dude he's repressed!

1 hr 58 min in : "you unwrapped it and showed it to me." So many meanings. The heart, the love the soul... Wow. Good for you, screen play writers! ( It's kinda hilarious how Boris got mad at Theo for never quote unquote fucking opening it.)

2 hr 1 min in : I'm calling it. They're going to fuck up the Theo Hobie confrontation. They put it on the wrong time. And they also fucked up the text from the book.

2 hr 5 min 48 sec in : Even Platt is saving his sister's face. Also where did Todd go? Did he never grow up? I wish Mrs Barbour didn't use Theo like she did.

2 hr 7 min in : The frame where Boris is between Kitsey and Theo. Chef's kiss.

2 hr 10 min 54 sec in : *intense music playing* Boris put his leg up on the table and I burst into laughter THOSE ARE THE FAMOUS FUCK ME PUMPS.

2 hr 11 min in : AAAAA THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AAAAAAA (Theo just knows without looking that Boris is close enough to touch? Theo are you sure you don't feel feelings for him?)

2 hr 12 min in : Theo is so worried that I'm not sure if it's for Boris or for losing the painting again. Omg he just murdered a man. Oh god.

2 hr 14 min in : Theo is spiralling. In the movie they imply that Hobie played a part in him attempting suicide. So wrong. Poor Hobie. In the book that wasn't the case.

2 hr 15 min in : The transition of the Goldfinch into Audrey, wow. Also, is it the first time we're seeing her? The movie started so long ago that I've forgotten if I saw Theo and Audrey in the museum. Boris following right after Audrey? That's a subliminal message. Boris is here to rescue y'all.

2 hr 16 min in : No shit Boris is freaking out right now.

2 hr 17 min in : The diner scene. They're both crying. "Happy Christmas, Potter" - which was of course, I love you.

2 hr 18 min in : No don't you dare compare Audrey and Mrs Barbour. Audrey would never drug her child or use him for her benefit.

2 hr 20 min in : Poor kid bumps into his mom lol. I found it funny.

On the whole

The movie was nice if you'd read the book beforehand. The first hour was steak, The second hour was Korean BBQ and the rest of the twenty minutes were minced beef. If you get what I mean. Weird analogy. It could have been much better. But it was really very nice in some places. Most places I'd say.

I didn't like how the pop songs ruined the mood of certain moments. I didn't like how you couldn't hear the conversation over the music playing. For example in the engagement party when Platt and Theo talked. Or in the diner scene.

Both Borises killed the accent thing. They tried their best. Cut them some slack.

Oakes deserves an Oscar for holding up this movie on his smol shoulders. I was shook at how a kid could act that well.

Popchik deserved more screen time. I'm still pissed they didn't add the Popchik Boris reunion. But then they couldn't make it chronological, what were we supposed to expect anyway.

Ansel Elgort y'all. Theo sure improved his handwriting lol. Ansel's writing is nice. He was actually good in this movie. Better than he was in The Fault In Our Stars. The internet is just mean. The critics too. I will never understand the hate.

All in all, it could have been a better adaptation but it didn't suck as bad as everyone made it out to be. John Clownery should be punished nonetheless. Special shout-out to Roger Deakins for making it work.

[andrea-lyn]

Prompt: Missing scene from No Love Like Your Love. I'd love a scene of one of Malex's phone calls during the 3 yrs away. I know we got the one when Michael first got there. But I'd love to get another one in the middle when they're just missing each other and maybe wanting to talk about their future. I just imagine how sweet they are on these phone calls. (Another idea if you don't like this one is Michael receiving the video from Alex of him dancing. I imagine that would give him...feelings!)

(I will always write more of this! There’s also a oneshot coming post-fic, so keep an eye out for that whenever I find the time to finish)*It’s Michael’s birthday in two days, which normally is an exciting time for him.This year, he’s been feeling despondent and a little quiet about it. For the last few years, he’s had his Mom and Alex to really make the day feel special in ways that he’d never felt on Antar. He knows there’s a feast prepared for him and a grand dance that he’ll be attending later on tonight, but it’s not milkshakes at the Crashdown and it’s definitely not Alex curled up around him, singing him happy birthday in his ear like the world’s sexiest thing.God, Michael misses him. Still, it’s not all terrible. He’d received a text relay from his mother with instructions to beef up the comms device on the night before his birthday as there would be an extremely large data packet coming through prior to their talk, so Michael’s been distracted with the work. It’s just what he needs, and he has to wonder if that isn’t part of his Mom’s gift to him, with her knowing that this year would be hard, being the first year back from Earth. Michael’s begun to think of it as being away from home, but he genuinely believes that to be true. Once he has everything ready to go, he turns on the device and sits cross-legged in front of the comms broadcast patiently, hands in his lap as he waits excitedly to see his Mom and Alex for the first time in months (their last call had been eight weeks ago and it could be eight hours and Michael would think it too long). He’s beginning to honestly wonder how the hell he’s going to survive three years apart.The feed starts to spur to life, images beginning to appear in blurry form, but Michael hears the tinny sound of music before he sees anyone. Background noise filters in, more than there’d be for the garage, and as the image begins to clear up, Michael can tell that it’s a recorded video and it’s at the Pony.“Oh, he’s gonna love this,” he hears Maria’s voice behind the recording device.Michael shifts in his seat, moving to the edge of it as he tries to make out the image as it focuses and becomes less pixelated. The strains of music become a lot clearer, heavy bass thumping as the camera focuses on the bar area.Suddenly, Michael is understanding who the he is as he watches Alex haul himself onto the bar with straining forearm muscles helping him do it smoothly. That’s Closer by Nine Inch Nails playing, even though Michael can barely hear it over the eager screams of women — what looks like a bachelorette party.Michael locks eyes with Alex in the video, even though he knows he can’t see him back. Alex squats, tight jeans straining at the thighs, the tank top he’s wearing along with a long necklace showing gleaming, sweaty skin as he slowly starts to wind his way to his feet, strolling along the bar before he strikes a pose, hands hitting hip bones as he grinds and sways, making a crooking ‘come here’ motion with his fingers the instant the lyrics sing, I wanna fuck you like an animal.“Oh, fuck,” Michael lets out a ragged cry, the moan drawn out of him. Alex must know the audience he has, but what’s incredible is that in even under a year, the way Alex moves is so free and fluid, like he doesn’t give a damn what anyone in Roswell thinks. He hears a few slurs being flung at him, but the bachelorette party is clearly in his corner, from the vicious way they defend him.And given the way he hears Hank yowl with pain, Michael thinks smugly that he definitely got hit.He watches as one of the girls drapes a feather boa around Alex’s neck (which he ducks to accommodate), before Alex moves along with the music, sliding to his knees so he can lean back until his shoulders are almost pressed to the wooden bar, starting to inch his way back up to the beat. Michael can see the sweat dripping down his temple, and he watches as Alex turns, eyeing the camera again.He mouths the words, “You get me closer to God,” right at him, and Michael feels shivers go down his spine, knowing those are meant for him.Alex leans over to take a shot that one of the girls has left out for him, licking his lower lip, rubbing two fingers along the bottom one and sucking them in his mouth before he hops down mid-song, wandering through the bar. Michael can hear Maria laughing on the video, but Michael’s not in a laughing mood right now. Suddenly, the noise from the video dims, which Michael is about to protest and fiddle with the device, but he sees why when suddenly the three-dimensional image fades out and is replaced by Alex sitting in the garage back at home. His heart swells as he looks at him, beating faster as he stares at his handsome boyfriend. It’s only a shame he’s so far away, because after that video, Michael has things he wants to do to him.“You know, that’s gotta be classed as some kind of torture,” Michael ekes out, exhausted and mildly upset as he presses the heel of his palm against his cock to try and calm down. “You send me that knowing I’m so far away? At least tell me the bachelorettes behaved with you.”“It took me days to wash off the glitter, but they let me escape with my dignity,” Alex promises. He looks like he’s just woken up, his hair not styled and swept over his forehead, making him look wildly handsome even though Michael can see the sleep in his eyes. He yearns to reach through the connection and rub it away, but he can’t.For all that he can talk to Alex, he can’t touch him or be with him the way he wants to — at least, not yet. He’s got plans on how to fix that.“Happy birthday, Michael,” Alex says, softly and with great tenderness. “I know it’s not the best of gifts…”“Alex,” Michael cuts him off. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m gonna download this whole conversation off the server so no one else gets to see it, but so I can watch it on a daily basis. At least once a day.” He might even get to three or four times, thinking about the way Alex’s tongue had touched his lower lip during the video. “I miss you so much,” he tells him. “I wanna be there, so we can go get milkshakes and you can kiss every inch of my body and worship me.”“Oh, is that what the birthday boy gets?” is Alex’s smug little reply, clearly amused. Michael isn’t planning to back down. “I mean, it’s what the birthday boy wants.” He goes serious, then, staring at Alex as his face falls. “He only wants you.”Alex doesn’t say anything, but he holds up his hand. Michael knows he must be missing him just as much and Michael does the same, getting as close as he can without touching (because he thinks it’ll break his heart to push through and only get air instead of the warmth of Alex’s palm).“You gotta not say those things,” Alex replies, sounding choked up.Michael understands all too well. He doesn’t want the big lavish banquet or whatever expensive gift Isobel has planned for him. He wants one specific thing and that’s Alex, but he’s not going to get him in his bed or be able to hold Alex flush against his body, sliding his palm over his heart. Maybe it’s better to stop cruelly teasing himself.“Is that what you’ve been doing now?” Michael asks. “Dancing on the bar at the Pony?”“I wanna hear about you,” Alex protests.“We’ll get there,” Michael promises, staring at Alex fondly. “We’ve got at least an hour for this call,” he says, grabbing a full body sized pillow to hug to his chest like it can somehow act as a replacement for Alex (even though that’s impossible). “Tell me about Roswell.”Alex does, for the better part of their hour. He tells Michael about what’s happening at home with him and Mara, he talks about his career both writing music for other artists, his shifts at the music store, and how he’s been picking up more work at the Pony because the tips pay better (though usually not with the locals, which Alex scowls at to say). Michael hears about the letters from Liz and news from Maria.It all aches in a new way for Michael, who’s never loved anyone like this before. He knows it’ll make them stronger in the end to have this time apart, but right now, he kind of wants to curl up in a ball and cry for how much he misses him. Michael doesn’t say much about Antar, other than telling Alex about the plans for the night, showing him his suit, and talking about the gifts that he’ll get. By the time he’s rushed through that, the power starts to drain from his room and Michael can’t even begin to imagine what’s happening on the other end.“When will we get to talk again?” Alex asks, his voice small as the reality sinks in that they won’t get to talk again for a while.Judging by the schedule of power on Antar, Michael thinks that it’ll be two months, at best. “Eight weeks?” he judges, feeling miserable to say it. “Too long, no matter when it is. I’m gonna bury myself in my projects,” he admits. “It’s still not good enough.” Just like the pillow he’s holding onto isn’t good enough either.Alex stares at him, like he’s trying to memorize his face, and he sighs when the power over the relay dims again. “I better go, before someone gets suspicious. Happy birthday Michael. I love you, with all of me.”“I love you too. Take care of Mom, okay? And thank her,” he adds, suspecting that her present to him had been giving him all this time with Alex without intruding. “She’ll know why.”“I’ll talk to you in eight weeks,” Alex promises, as he leans forward, fingers hovering over the disconnect button. “And I’m gonna love you just as much then as I do now,” he vows, with a fond smile on his face. “Good,” Michael replies. “Remember that when you’re dancing on bartops.”He gets one last beautiful, sweet, perfect smile from Alex and then the feed goes dark. Michael’s left alone in his bedroom clutching onto his pillow. He buries his face in it, trying to stem the grief of being away from Alex, but knowing that he doesn’t have to let it hurt him. Instead, he can let it be the main driver for why he needs to wrap things up, abdicate, and get back home.He’s a genius. If anyone’s going to figure this out, it’ll be him.

[fortyflightower]

artist ask babey!!😌🤙 the smiths, charli xcx, LANA DEL REY. i could do more. we shall see

CAITLYN YOU MADE THIS SO HARD FOR ME.... thank u but also i hate you 😤 sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts and i don’t know how to shut up. i told you this was going to be a novel and here it is. writers doing nanowrimo wish they were me.

THE SMITHS.... one time i mentioned that i listened to them to one of my art teachers & he asked me what my favorite songs by them were & i completely blanked. it still haunts me to this day but i’m stronger now and i will not make that mistake again

1. back to the old house

this song has everything. the depression. the softness the yearning. ALSO these lyrics...

and you never knew / how much I really liked you / because I never even told you

2. the headmaster ritual

this is the song i listen to when i’m depressed, angry, and considering dropping out of school.

i want to go home / i don't want to stay / give up education / as a bad mistake

belligerent ghouls / run manchester schools / spineless bastards all

this line makes me think of my vid prod teacher 😊😤

3. still ill

had to stop myself from copy pasting all of the lyrics from this one. i also have it on my adam playlist SO.

england is mine, it owes me a living / but ask me why, and I'll spit in your eye

what can i say... i just like the rage and entitlement of this

but we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore / no, we cannot cling to those dreams

no thoughts head empty. i think i like it because it reminds me of that line from ribs by lorde.

does the body rule the mind / or does the mind rule the body? / i dunno

this is so adam core. will not explain any further

4. this charming man

BASIC I KNOW but it was the first song i ever listened to by them (i found it on a gansey playlist on 8tracks back in middle school😔🤟) don’t have any favorite lyrics from this one but the opening is ICONIC.

5. well i wonder

this one.... is SO emo but that’s okay... also the way he sings these lyrics... TOO MUCH 4 me

gasping - dying - but somehow still alive / this is the final stand of all I am / please keep me in mind

honorable mentions are there is a light that never goes out, the boy with the thorn in his side, never had no one ever, cemetery gates, and I WANT THE ONE I CANT HAVE because i’m THAT indecisive

miss Charli XCX... i’m going to be real i don’t listen to her much but when i do i am DOWN TO CLOWN.

1. vroom vroom

i have a playlist called “music to get into a car crash to” and this is the only song on it.

lavender lamborghini, roll up in a blue bikini /bitches on the beaches, lookin' super cute and freaky

Ugh the vibes of this 😩 wish my friends and i could pull this look off

bitches know they can't catch me / (vroom vroom) cute, sexy and my ride's sporty

used this for as a caption for that one tdt drawing i did & i have no regrets. this really embodies the vibes of any scene where ronan & kavinsky are racing.

beep beep, so let's ride

i just think the sound effects are funny

bubblegum-pink ferrari, yeah, I'm so bossy

these are the vibes i would like to embody but never will. also i think barbie & elle woods gave me a primal respect and desire for a pink car.

2. dreamer

nothing to say abt this one except that all i can think abt when i listen to it is that one maggie steifvater copying charli xcx meme. also it’s an absolute banger and one of the songs i blast when i’m going unhinged but in a sexy thot type of way

3. boom clap

this song changed my life when i first heard it on the tfios soundtrack. not that deep but does music have to be? no.

first kiss just like a drug /under your influence / you take me over you're the magic in my veins/ this must be love

boom clap / the sound of my heart / the beat goes on and on and on and on and

HER MIND WHEN SHE WROTE THIS... pop music peaked with this song

LANA. i like listening 2 her music in the winter because the summer depression vibes cancel out seasonal depression like pemdas. she was litchrally my spotify artist of the decade which is so baffling because i don’t feel like i listen to her that much. ALSO every few months i get sucked into a hole of watching concert vids on instagram & it ruins my life.

1. salvatore

the vocals in this... she truly has the range.

I adore you, can't you see, you're meant for me?

catch me if you can / working on my tan / salvatore / dying by the hand / of a foreign man / happily / calling out my name / in the summer rain / ciao amore /salvatore can wait / now it's time to eat / soft ice cream

all of her ooohing and aaahing is great but THIS PART is so sexy. also i almost made a post comparing “dying by the hand of a foreign man happily” & “the choice was death or hurting adam which wasn’t much of a choice at all” but i figured it was too much

2. video games

basic but it’s a classic. also the radical face cover re-ignited my love for this song.

i say you the bestest / lean in for a big kiss put his favorite perfume on / go play your video game

there’s a video of her singing this live where she’s on a swing and she waves her hand when she says “go play your video game” and i think about it every single day

he holds me in his big arms / drunk and i am seeing stars / this is all i think of

this part makes me want to be held 😪

it's you, it's you, it's all for you / everything i do / i tell you all the time / heaven is a place on earth with you

honestly so romantic. what else can i say

3. off to the races

this is my favorite to see live videos of.. the little dance she does to it has me feeling some type of way 🥺😪 one of the classics. lana slapping the roof of this song like “this baby can fit to much daddy kink, drugs, and sex in it”

swimming pool / glimmering darling /white bikini off with my red nail polish

my old man is, a tough man / but he got a soul as sweet as blood red jam / and he shows me, he knows me, every inch of my tar black soul

the imagery of this... UGH

4. california

THIS ENTIRE SONG IS TOO GOOD. i don’t even know what to say abt it except that lana really went off with nfr

you don't ever have to be stronger than you really are / when you're lying in my arms, baby / you don't ever have to go faster than your fastest pace

you're scared to win, scared to lose / i've heard the war was over if you really choose

5. old money

this one makes me cry the hardest out of all her songs because it’s so sad and desperate

blue hydrangea, cold cash divine / cashmere, cologne and white sunshine / red racing cars, sunset and vine / the kids were young and pretty

once again the imagery in her songs is UNPARALLELED.

the power of youth is on my mind

this makes me think abt that lorde quote abt how teenagers sparkle or whatever

and if you call i'll run, run, run / if you change your mind, i’ll come, come, come

bonus: music to watch boys to

SORRY i needed to put this one on here. this one should be near the top but i completely forgot abt it until it came on shuffle play & i don’t feel like renumbering the entire list. this one truly is a ronan song i don’t make the rules (the music to watch boys to is the murder squash song). once again it’s the imagery of it all that gets to me.

i like you a lot / putting on my music while I'm watching the boys / so I do what you want

live to love you / and i love to love you / and I live to love you, boy

nothing gold can stay / like love or lemonade / or sun or summer days / it's all a game to me anyway

diet mountain dew didn’t make it onto this list but i have 2 pairs of heart shaped sunglasses because of it so it has a special place in my heart... lanas impact

other honerable mentions are the greatest, fuck it i love you, venice bitch, dark paradise, BURNING DESIRE and cherry because it’s the only good song on lust for life

[nightlovechild]

Massages with Benefits - Patton’s Week. (Day 3: Royality)

Warnings: Confrontation, BDSM, Degradation (aka name calling), Blow job, Anal sex, Riding, Multiple sexual partners, Over-stimulation

Summary: Patton and Roman are spending their second anniversary at a spa in Roman's Realm. During their couple's massage, Roman gets bent out of shape when Patton starts moaning very loud. So Roman gives Patton something to moan, and groan and come, about.

Patton was more relaxed then he had been in, heck, years. His mind searched and couldn't come up with a single example that didn't have some strong emotion attached to it. Even this morning when, Patton and Roman had arrived at the Spa, he was a bundle of excitement and nerves. Now don't get him wrong; the heart deeply loved his prince! But Roman always needed so much attention. A weekend with a fully staffed spa waiting on both of their wants and needs sounded a little too good. But as the huge hands of Bert, the very nice masseuse, worked Patton's muscles like taffy puller every hesitation for him and his wonderful prince slipped away.

‘How could I be this lucky?’ Patton thought as another groan of relief passed his lips.

Roman bristled as Patton moaned again. The man working his hands deep into his lover’s lower back just would not stop!

“Oh, yeah! That’s the spot! I think if you go a little more.” Patton crooned like his pleasure was so intense it was almost painful.

This was supposed to be his special day! Well, really their special day. A second anniversary getaway at Love's Oasis and Day Spa. Wrapped up in cotton robes and their love for each other.

Then reality came crashing down as a couple's massage turned into Patton moaning like he as orgasmic or dying Roman couldn’t really tell. All the while Roman was tensing up all over!

His love should only sound like that because of him! His royal hands touching, kneading and stroking Patton’s shoulders, back and his other well endowed parts.

As the boiling rage turned to lust Roman got a wonderful idea. Whispering instructions into his masseuses’ ear. Roman covered his mouth as his masseuse pressed two slickened fingertips against the prince’s hole.

“Are you an angel? Because your hands are a God’s send!” Patton grinned happily as the nice young man started working on his feet. Making that weird twinge in his sciatic nerve to finally go away. “Remind me to just slip in here anytime I need to have these tired old bones readjusted!”

“Flip please.” Bert, the masseuse, said.

“What was that, Comrade?”

“Flip over so I can do your front, Please.” Bert over pronounced each word to combat his thick accent.

“Sure thing! OH! Oops….ummm” Patton blushed as he turned over to find Little Patton standing at full mast.

“It's fine. Be not embarrassed. It's natural, body is just happy at being touched.” Bert tried to reassure Patton as he went to fetch a modesty blanket.

“You Slut!” Roman called out. Pointing his finger directly at Patton's sheet covered erection.

“Lovey it's not what you think!” Patton tried using Roman's nickname to calm him.

“I bring you out to my Realm! Give you my time and energy and do I get a kiss? A hug? A thank you blow job? No!” Roman exclaimed as he jumped off his massage table, trying his terry cloth robe tight.

“Prince Roman, your Patton he tells the truth. I only give massage, no happy ending. Ethics are a strong part..” Bert came rushing back.

“You hush! And You, moaning like a bitch in heat at another man's touch! You should be ashamed at how you are treating me!” Roman pointed at a flushed Patton, whose cock was jumping at vulgar words that were aimed at him.

“I hear these sounds from all older gentleman. They are what do you call them?” Bert asked as he clicked his fingers.

“Dad sounds.” Christian, the other masseuse, chimed in.

“Oh, I’ve heard those sound before, trust me. They sound just like when I am riding him within an inch of his life.” Roman twisted around to address Bert while his fingers grazed over the tented fabric. Drawing out a little moan from Patton. “See? Those sounds are mine. I want them. But if this harlot wants to give them away for free!”

“No, Roman. I promise it wasn’t anything like that. Only you make me feel those special feelings.” Patton said while putting his glasses back on. Sitting up to wrap his arms around the fuming prince.

Roman’s strong hand forced Patton back down while his other hand ripped the thin sheet off of his lap. The air was forced out of Patton when his back hit massage table with an audible thud. Roman let his nails dig in as he climbed up onto the table. Straddling Patton’s groin as he let their cocks press against each other. Rocking their hips together as Patton’s hand softly caressed  Roman’s cheek and Roman mimicked the same action back. A signal that the scene was allowed to continue. Consent given between both of them.

“How can you tell if the feelings are different if you haven’t had them together?” Roman purred into Patton’s ear as the prince lifted his hips.

The position allowed a different set of hands to stroke and cover the moral side’s cock with lube. Patton tried to hold his ground and not make a single sound but it was all to much. Moans tumbling from him as skilled hands stroked him while Roman’s sweet kisses turned into love bites at his throat.

“That’s it my love. Give in. Stop holding back. You’ll lap up attention from anyone and everyone, won’t you?” Roman encouraged and chided all in one breath.

“No, Lovey. Want you. Only you. Moaning because you’re so close. Yearning to make love to you.” Patton whimpered as the hands held his cock held firm while Roman started rocking his hips down, making the tip of Patton’s cock press against Roman’s hole. As Roman started to slide down, Patton’s hands shot to his hips stopping him in his movements.

“We haven’t stretched you yet. I know you want to make a point, which I am allowing. But not at the price of causing you pain.” Patton’s voice was as serious as his voice. Goosebumps broke out over Roman’s skin at the display of concern and love.

“Shh, I already had Christian stretch me around his huge powerful fingers. But his fingers are nothing compared to your huge cock.” Roman winked at Christian as he fights against Patton’s grip as he sits down further on his lover’s cock.

“Y-you’re so difficult sometimes. Misbehaving while berating me because I was enjoying myself while...”

“I might misbehave but I’m not a whore like you are. Even now, letting two strange men watch you fucking like you’re an animal. Bet you want them to touch you while you fuck my ass, Don’t you?” Roman said as he started bouncing on Patton’s cock. Clicking his fingers at the grinning masseuses to have them resume their work as Patton nodded.

Hands on his shoulders, Hands on his thighs, Hands on his chest, the slick warmth surrounding his cock over and over again. Patton took it all in as the cascade of horrible wonderful words fell from Roman’s lips.

A secret kink held close to his chest, Patton’s desire leaped every time the degrading words were sent his way. Patton knew inside he wasn’t those things; a whore, a slut, a harlot. But what if he was? What would it look like? What if his passion and desires were higher on the priority list than his heart? Patton longed in the dark to taste these answers. Then Roman showed up with an ego bigger than the sun and just as bright. It didn’t take the prince many nights to put together dirty words equals Patton coming like a geyser.

“God, you’re so fucking hard right now. Going to wreck my ass, aren’t you? My little whore loves putting on a show about as much as I do.” Roman moaned as he let his leaking cock mark Patton’s stomach with every down stroke.

“Yes, please! L-love it all. Love y-you. Want you soooo much. W-want you everywhere. Use me in all my holes.” Patton panted as he was losing himself in all the pleasure. The two masseuses chuckled at his desperation as they rutted against the massage table. Trying to get their own release as the two lovers were.  

“That can be arranged, my heart. But you have to say the words.” Roman sat up as he directed one masseuse to fetch the bottle of lube while the other one spread Patton’s legs. Forcing the royal to move up a bit a new angle. Driving Patton’s cock over his prostate causing the lewdest moans to escaped the royal.

“You’re so big. Filling me up just right. Might have to start calling you my stud instead of my whore if you’re going to let me use you so much.”

“Use me, Lovey. Fu...fuck yourself on me.. I mean.. Oh goodness please right there.” Patton was falling apart faster than he could ask for it as a lubed finger circled over his opening. But when he realized both of Roman’s hands were touching on his own glorious body. Patton found he suddenly felt different. Reaching up to touch Roman in their signal.  

“I’m a whore, but only your sexual plaything, Roman. Only want your hands on me in an intimate way. Please send the masseuses away. Just want you to see me like this.” Patton expressed his discomfort as Roman repeated their signal.

“That’s my good tramp. My plaything through and through. Does this work for you?” Roman turned Patton’s flushed face to the side so he could see the two random masseuses fade out to be replaced with two bare naked Roman copies. Stroking their hard cocks with that same fire in their eyes that the real Roman currently had. “Exact copies of yours truly? Why, yes you are that lucky. Their not perfect copies of course. Because magic like me only happens once in a lifetime.”

“Luckiest man alive because my premadonna boy loves me about as much as he loves himself.” Patton whispered against Roman’s lips as he locked their lips in the perfect celluloid kiss.

“So I’ll take that as we can join in?” The Roman copies said in unison.

“Yes, please. Join us. I want every version of my Lovey.” Patton beckoned the copies closer trading kisses with them as the real Roman stroked himself until he was dripping again.

Working like a connected mind, one Roman copy stretched Patton open getting the moral side to come by the third finger was rocking deep inside. The real Roman kept Patton’s cock trapped in his body as they continued to play with him. The other Roman copy stroked Patton’s hair back from his face as he fucked himself into Patton’s mouth over and over again. The copy began humming when the moral side’s moans turned into vibrations as the other Roman copy jerked them all lower on the massage table so he could fuck Patton as deep as he needed. Fully seated inside, Patton came again with soft thank yous and requests for more.

Breathing in quick bursts when the cock in his mouth moved back. It gave Patton enough time to call out the royal’s name. His voice sounded broken in the best way as the real Roman started bouncing once he was hard again. The motion of the royal’s hips were opposite to the thrusting strokes that was filling Patton’s body. Everywhere Patton could look, feel, taste, and touch was his Roman. Roman was his world.

“Going to make us come so hard. Wouldn’t expect less from my perfect fuck toy. Going to mark you and cover you from head to toe.” Roman exclaimed as he tugged Patton’s hand from his body to his cock as he started coming. Marking his love and the copy in the process. Which set off that Roman copy.

“Mouth so warm and wonderful going to spill right down your throat, whore.” With another stroke Patton was visibility swallowing as fast as he could.

“Forget his mouth. His ass is so tight it’s pulling my cock right back in. Going to fill him all the way up. All the come his ass can hold.” The Roman copy sank balls deep growling as he as Patton pulled tight around him. Panting and tiny bouts joyous laughter echoed from the four males. Roman caressed Patton’s face but the heart was to torn repeat the signal.

The heart’s world was full and overwhelming one minute and he was empty and hollow the next. Whimpering with eyes closed, because the light was too bright. Soft words convinced him to let the helping hands guide him to sit and then stand. Strong arms picking him up and carrying him to another room. Warm water and bubbles covered his skin as he clung the familiar solid body. Hands cleaned him while soft lips pressed gentle kisses to his face. Slowly and surely the bliss and fog cleared from his head as he opened his eyes. Patton felt like melted butter on top of warm flapjacks.

“There you are, my sweetest. You slipped deeper into subspace then I’ve seen you go. Thought maybe you wouldn’t want to come back.” Roman coo’ed as Patton smiled like he was drunk.

“I’d always… come back.. T-to you. Out-side...space is good, but doesn’t have you.” Patton’s tongue felt heavy in his mouth but knew he got his point across when Roman beamed down at him.

“There’s a banquet of your favorite foods and Winnie the Pooh Bear movies waiting for us when we’re done here. You made me so proud. Used your words when you could.” Roman smirked and continued on. To much Patton’s delight. “Made your needs and fantasies known to me. Then you relaxed and trusted me. I love you, I hope you know that.”

“Love you so much, my Lovey.” Patton’s smile reached his eyes as he hugged Roman.

It was going to be best second anniversary anyone could ever have, especially since there were three more ‘Massages with Benefits’ sessions to the spa package.

[spacebetweenthespaces]

parts from a favorite trent reznor interview (via Vulture) continued

interviewer: What are other consequences of fans knowing more about the musicians they love? And also of being able to communicate with them?

trent reznor: Another problem is that it’s too easy to listen to the opinion of the anonymous basement-dweller, and that’s bad for art. Criticism hurts. Hearing someone say that you’re a piece of shit or that the song you’re insecure about sucks is harmful. And I have a hard time unhearing that stuff, so I really had to learn not to pay attention. When I did Pretty Hate Machine - I didn’t think anybody was going to hear it. Then suddenly it was, “Hey, X amount of people bought your record and it’s time to write a new one.” And you’re thinking, I wonder what they liked about that other record I made? What if I want to take a detour into free jazz? How is that going to go over? When you’re not thinking about the audience, you can make more pure art.

interviewer: Are there any artists that you think are using social media smartly? I know they exist in a different online world than you, but people like Drake and Taylor Swift sure seem canny about how and when they engage with fans.

trent reznor: Those examples would probably be the best answer to this question. I don’t pay much attention, but I see what Drake’s been able to pull off in terms of being omnipresent and constantly engaging an audience that seems to enjoy the way he’s engaging them. I’m just not part of that audience. I’m not as well-rounded as I used to be about pop culture. I’m not saying pop music isn’t well-crafted or the people who make it aren’t wonderful, but it’s not for me. I’ve asked people, “What is it that’s good about Drake?” I’ve said to my friends at Apple: “Explain to me why.” As the old guy, I don’t see it.

interviewer: Did anybody give you any satisfactory answers?

trent reznor: I wasn’t even asking cynically. I was curious what it is that he’s touching on. The answers I got made me go, “That’s it?” But knowing the right way to interact with your crowd in a way that feels cool is a good thing. I’m just doing it for a different sized audience. The stakes aren’t the same for me, and that’s fine.

interviewer: Because of your work with Beats and Apple Music, and also because of how quickly Nine Inch Nails adapted to various online realities, you’re often held up as someone who credibly bridges music and tech. Do you feel culturally at home in both worlds? Is there anything to the idea that tech entrepreneurs are the new rock stars?

trent reznor: What a load of bullshit that is. It’s important to unpack a couple things: What’s your quantification of success? Is it money or something else? This is nothing against somebody who has a great idea and wants to get funded — more power to you. That’s a cool new economy, and coding is an incredibly creative and artful medium. But if success is purely measured in how high on some Forbes list you are, then by all means, go make a new app. I’m biased: Music or film or writing or journalism — things that inspire emotional connections are so much more important to me than things that only have utilitarian ends. I’m glad someone figured out a food-delivery service. That’s made my life a little bit better. But that’s not that interesting to me. A good song can become part of my soul. So this whole nonsense about tech rock stars is farce. What else were we saying about tech world?

interviewer: How you fit into it.

trent reznor: My experience with Beats Music (in 2013, Reznor was named chief creative officer of what was called “Project Daisy,” a music-streaming service concept created by Beats and intended to compete with Spotify and other streaming services. It would ultimately be released as Beats Music. When Apple bought Beats in 2014, the service was folded into Apple’s own Apple Music, which Reznor continues to help develop) and then at Apple largely was dismissed from outside, maybe justifiably, as here’s another celebrity moron holding up a phone and expecting some sort of credit. That kind of situation, which mine isn’t, would be insulting to the people that actually are doing the important jobs. And I don’t want to hear about “Ashton Kutcher’s a fucking tech genius.”As a venture capitalist, Kutcher has invested in tech companies including Skype, Airbnb, and Foursquare. I don’t give a shit about that. He seems like an asshole.

interviewer: Ouch.

trent reznor: [Laughs.] I don’t know where that rage just came from. But all I can say is that I’ve learned a hell of a lot from working at Beats and Apple. I’ve seen a lot, and it’s interesting to be behind the scenes and meet really cool, smart people that I highly respect. Now, and I’m not talking about Apple here: I’m not yearning to be a tech guy. Being in that world has made me realize the true value of being an artist. The economics of music aren’t what they should be, and the culture isn’t giving the arts its fair due, but humans are always going to respond to emotion and storytelling. I believe that as much as I ever did. More, even.

[thewhiterabbit42]

Just the Beginning

Pairings: Dark Gadreel x Reader

Tags/Warnings: Dark Gadreel, NSFW for the usual dark themes

Word Count: 2011 (i’m out of control people)

Written for: @room-with-a-cat​ Character:  Dark Gadreel Prompt: “Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever.” - Rocky Horror Picture Show Sensory:  Touch

***Please do not repost or copy my work to any other site without my permission.  Giving credit does NOT count.***

You knew this moment would come.  

You couldn’t avoid being alone forever.  Cas was dead. ��The Winchester’s had a nephilim to worry about.  Most of all, however, they were just tired of dealing with you and what they thought was unreasonable paranoia.  

You knew what you’d heard, however, and it wasn’t the Gadreel you all thought you knew.  

Even though Cas had been too busy protecting Kelly, he had at least believed you.  Your only ally, however, was gone and that made you feel more vulnerable than being alone ever could.  

You’d taken the necessary precautions (and insisted your friends did as well).  Hex bags.  Sigils, on everything and anything to help keep you off the radar.  Thankfully, they didn’t do much to Jack except give him a deep sense of unease, like he wasn’t wanted.  Sam had been less than appreciative of that side-effect, making him less sympathetic to you as time went on.  

It didn’t surprise you, however, that Gad would find a way around it.  

“You’re a smart woman, but not smart enough,” his voice cut through the silence, sending chills down your back.  “I’ll always be a step ahead… but you already knew this.”

You did.  Which was why you’d taken other precautions.  You turned, shifting your position on the bed so you could casually reach beneath the pillow.  Only nothing but cold sheets and emptiness greeted your fingers.  

Gadreel arched a brow, bringing an angel blade out from behind his back.  “Looking for this?”

God dammit.  

“I know about the others as well.  Do us both a favor and don’t go for them.  You have such lovely hands.  I’d really hate to break them.”  He tossed the blade into the air, making it disappear.  

You weren’t sure who you were more mad at, yourself or the Winchesters for thinking this was all in your mind.  

“I might have helped with that,” he said, giving you a devious smile.  “Like I said: I’ll always be one step ahead of you, my sweet.”

You tried not to let the nickname throw you off, recognizing it was just another attempt to manipulate or mock you.  Of course he’d always be a step ahead, though.  He’d always have the advantage being an angel with an infinite life span.  You were just a walking sack of meat with a limited existence.

He sat down next to you, his gaze insistently catching yours, much like he always did when he wanted you to know how serious he was being.  Instead of clasping his hands in his lap, however, one of them reached up, his finger boldly curling beneath your chin.

“You are far more than that, y/n, or else you would already be dead.”  

The old Gad would have simply meant you had survived as a hunter this long thanks to your intelligence, strength, and abilities.  There was nothing simple about this one, however, and the danger prickling along your senses suggested he wanted you alive because he had a use for you.  

“What do you want, Gadreel?”  You demanded, fighting the urge to slap his hand away.  Instead you stood up, moving several feet away before crossing your arms over your chest.  The devious curl to his lips gave way to mirth and you wondered if it was your directness or your actions that amused him more.  

“It’s your thoughts I often find most entertaining,” he answered, his smile widening when you paled.  You’d assumed him being a lying bastard meant all the unspoken rules you’d had were never really adhered to.  It was one thing to believe it, however, and another to hear it out loud.  

“How does it feel to know I’ve heard every little thought that’s ever crossed your mind in my presence?”  

Your anger flared but so did your unease as he rose up from the bed and took a step toward you.

“You hide it well, but I have always known...”

When he showed no sign of halting his steps you began to back away from him, though It wasn’t his nearness that had you retreating so much as the look in his eyes.  His stare was predatory, but it was the hunger in the darks of his eyes that was truly unsettling.  

You barely heard what he was saying over the frantic thudding of your pulse in your ears.  

“You may have the others fooled, but I can see each and every one of those dark little embers embedded in your being...”

Your back hit the wall and you froze, knowing there was nowhere else you could go.  You were afraid if you tried to run his slow stalk would turn into a leap, and the last thing you wanted was for his baser instincts to be unleashed.  

“And I see how brightly they could burn, if you would just let them.”

He stopped directly in front of you, his finger resuming its place beneath your chin.  The air around you grew thick, his presence suddenly dominating as he towered over you.  You had never felt anything so commanding before, so primal, and you pressed your back against tightly the sheet rock, trying to give yourself as much space as possible.  

“Your temper…” He continued, his finger trailing just beneath the curve of your jaw.  A shiver raced down your spine as his touch lazily drifted along the side of your neck.  

“Your fury…”

You swallowed as he dragged his nails across the center of your throat, his fingers splaying out to cover more territory as they slid down across your collarbone.

“Your desire to corrupt.”

Your eyes snapped up to his, his words finally registering.  You understood his tactics.  You understood the game.  Dealing with him was like playing an infinite game of chess, move for move strategically matched, but his goal remained elusive.  

Mostly because you had allowed him to gain the upper hand over the one weapon you would always have at your disposal: your mind.  Now you were drowning, overloaded by your mounting fear and sensation he was providing, making it hard to think clearly through the haze of stimulation.

“Your need.”

His fingers began to trace nondescript patterns along your chest and you regretted wearing anything less than a full body suit covered in Enochian, let alone the thin-strapped tank top you’d chosen for bed.  

He chuckled and it was a dark, unsettling sound.  

“You think that could keep me out?”  He inquired, an uncharacteristic confidence lacing his tone.  

The fact he’d even want in was more disturbing than his claims he’d overcome it. 

“What do you want?” You repeated, proud at how even you were able to keep your voice. 

“I thought the answer to that would be obvious,” he purred and he leaned forward slowly, painfully so, drawing out the moment until he finally came nose to nose with you.  “I want you to give yourself to me.”  

“What?” You breathed, uncertain you’d heard him correctly.  

The way he ran his tongue along his lower lip, his eyes raking down the front of you, however, left no doubt to his intentions.  His fingers continued dancing across your skin, and you suddenly picked up on the yearning thrumming beneath them.  

Now that you knew what you were playing for, the game became more terrifying than you could have ever imagined.  

“Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever…”  The promise beneath his words was unmistakable and you felt your legs tremble in response.

A flush raised along your neck, creeping across your cheeks and memories flooded your mind at the reference.  Gadreel had shown up one night when you were watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  He had tormented you the entire time, asking you innocent questions that raised not so innocent thoughts within your mind.  This scene in particular had your thoughts wildly straying and you’d felt almost dirty at the time, fantasizing about corrupting such goodness, especially when it was so rare these days.

Now you just felt furious since he’d probably been laughing at you the whole time.

His hand changed course when he hit the neckline of your tanktop, his fingertip skimming along its edge.  Just as he was about to tease over the top of your breasts, you grabbed his hand, yanking it away.

“Go fuck yourself,” you hissed, wishing you had the capability to do something other than hurt yourself, because you wanted nothing more than to punch him in that perfect face and for him to really feel it.    

In an instant, turned the tables on you, pulling free from your grasp and pinning both your wrists on the wall above your head.  Instead of being irritated, however, he looked pleased.  

“That’s my girl,” he praised.  “Give in to your anger.  To your most basic of urges.  Aggression.  Desire.  Survival.”

Your blood ran cold upon the last word.  Was he implying what you thought he was?

“If you kill me, they’ll know,” you told him.  It wasn’t quite a lie, but neither was it the truth.  The  Winchesters might put two and two together, but Cas certainly would have.

A sharp twinge of grief lanced through your chest; you had never missed your friend more than you did in that moment.  

“Castiel is gone,” he growled, his fingers tightening around you to the point of pain.  “There’s no use thinking of him any longer.”

You gasped as blue disappeared beneath a vast, empty sea of his black, his beautiful eyes replaced with something sinister, something you never thought possible for an angel.  

“W-what are you?” Your voice sounded so tiny and for the first time you realized just how in over your head you were.  

“Your worst nightmare,” he warned.  You swallowed, desperately trying to dislodge your heart from your throat.  The fire you were playing with was completely wild, beyond your ability to control, and the endless depths that stared back at you suggested there was nothing in the universe that would ever truly quench it.  

“But I could also be your greatest dream.”  He blinked and the blackness disappeared, his grip over your wrists relaxing once more.  The intensity surrounding him eased again as he leaned forward, his mouth hovering just next to your ear.  

“The choice is completely yours.”

The roar of the impala pulling into the parking lot had never sounded so sweet.  You sagged back against the wall, relief flooding your system.  Gadreel wouldn’t risk being caught here, not right now, and certainly not like this.  

“Don’t make me wait long for an answer, my sweet, or I may just decide for you.” 

He nipped at your earlobe just as he disappeared, making you jump.  Your arms dropped back to your side and it was all you could do to keep from collapsing to the floor as the door to the room swung open.  

Sam and Dean walked in, bickering back and forth about something that had happened in the handful of hours they’d been gone.  They dropped a set of plastic bags on the table and a six pack, oblivious to your presence as they continued to argue.  Jack, on the other hand, hung back in the doorway, his eyes uneasily scanning the room.  

“Are you coming in or what?” Dean demanded, his eyes sharply landing on the nephilim.

“It smells like fear in here,” Jack told them, his eyes suddenly landing on you.  The brothers both glanced in your direction and you did your best to hide just how disturbed you felt.  

“I had a bad dream,” you lied, hastily heading towards the door.  “I just need some air.”

You were about to step outside when Jack touched you briefly on the arm.  

“It’s over now,” he reassured.  Normally his thoughtfulness would have made you smile.  Tonight, all you could do was nod and walk away.  You could still feel this nightmare on your skin, featherlight and teasing, and you knew that tonight was only just the beginning.   

ALL the tags:

@girl-next-door-writes​ @sumara62​ @fand0maniac​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @omgreganlove​ @jannalionheart​ @baritonechick​, @deaths-maiden @lucifer-in-leather​ @stone-met​   @the-moose-of-baskerville​ @summer-binging-spn​  @blondecoffeecake​  @raspberrypuddle​ @ourloveisforthelovely​ @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @crowley-you-sinnamon-roll​ @tistai​ @christinalibertymikaelson​ @room-with-a-cat​ @authoressskr​ @revwinchester​ @flufy07​ @greieba

[kootenaygoon]

So,

The sun was just starting to bleed over the horizon when they hoisted the first crucifix. A trio of surly executioners circled its base, ensuring it was properly anchored in place, while the criminal nailed to it began to sing about his agony. This was a dark place I was in, and I’d been here for some time. The man’s shrieks had an alarming melody that I could feel in my body. Someone grabbed my arm, spinning me back in the direction of our work, and I took in the torchlit, shadowy scene. I was surrounded by Roman soldiers because, I realized, I was a Roman soldier. We’d been suffering and struggling all night at some gargantuan task, and I was trembly and exhausted.

My editor Greg was kneeling beside our crucifix. He turned to offer me a nine-inch nail pinched between two fingers. He had that look on his face, the one I saw in the newsroom when Ed told him about what happened with Cst. Turnbull. I took the nail. On some level I already understood that I was dreaming, but somehow that didn’t break the illusion. It had been three days since I last smoked pot and I’d been having some crazy dreams. I woke up repeatedly soaked in sweat, shivering like I was cold, panic-breathing. It was alarming, actually, how uncomfortable I found sober reality these days. And it wasn’t just the break-up sadness either. The world was transforming into a gnarled black Tim Burton landscape right before my eyes.

I didn’t used to be like this, right?

“Who is this guy?” I asked Greg, kneeling down to examine our victim. “What did he do?”

“This one’s guilty of rape. And you know him.”

I looked past Greg to the whimpering wretch with his hands already nailed in place. It was my job to do his feet now. He was scrawny and small, wearing nothing but a pair of glasses with a broken lens. His pale chest rose and fell in terror as I loomed over him.

“Holy shit,” I said. “That’s Steven Galloway.”

Greg nodded tragically. “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, I’m afraid.”

“Who accused him? Like what did he do? Do you know?”

“She’s anonymous. They call her MC.”

Though I was way off in Nelson, I had been following the Galloway case closely via social media. There was an angry posse of feminist intellectual types all across the country who had somehow become instantly embroiled in this, and the rhetoric was getting more intense every day. It was odd to see that many of the most vocal pitchfork-wavers were perfect strangers who had nothing to do with UBC’s creative writing program. Allies of the accusers were mobbing anyone who spoke up for any sort of due process. They made lists of authors to black-ball, joked about burning books and delighted in the destruction of Galloway’s good name.

It was sickening.

“Listen, please. You have to believe me, Will. I’m innocent. We were having an affair, me and this student, and now she just wants to punish me. That’s all this is. You’re being manipulated,” he said, struggling at his nails. I could see blood pooling behind his straining fingers. “I don’t deserve this.”

“Go ahead,” Greg said, behind me. He pinned Galloway’s feet in place. “You want to drive the nail in right there, at the hinge where the foot meets the shin.”

A few months earlier I’d gone to see Spotlight with Greg at the Nelson Civic Theatre. I took Paisley, and he brought his wife Anitra. I’m usually an easy mark for journalism movies, but this had an extra level to it. I was bowled over by the scope of the Catholic Church’s global sexual abuse cover-up and loved watching the Boston Globe team dig into the issue, watching them defy institutions and go places other journalists couldn’t. The persistent work they were doing was not only giving some justice and closure to those who had been abused, it was also ensuring that certain people wouldn’t offend again in the future. One by one they crucified the people responsible. I loved the mild-mannered editor, played by Leiv Schreiber, who just dutifully did his fucking job until it was done. Just like Greg, the guy never lost his composure. I marched out of the theatre full of outrageous grandiosity, yearning to be part of a team like that. And now at the Nelson Star that’s what I had. I was the rookie of our quartet, and every day I was learning something new from Greg, Ed and Kai.

“Priests are supposed to be the good guys,” Greg said, quoting the movie. “But in this case they were the exact opposite.”

“Galloway was a professor, not a priest. I mean, have we done our due diligence here? The police aren’t even involved. This is all some internal UBC scuffle thing, right? He’s not a criminal.”

“There are multiple women involved, they say.”

“But who’s they? Involved in what? What the fuck is happening, Greg?”

In my head it always came back to Trent. I’d been sitting on the outside steps of a Mexican church the last time I saw him in 2005, partway through a missionary trip with my youth group. My youth pastor had tapped me on the head as he passed, then he climbed into a black police cruiser and disappeared from my life forever. The accusation was that he had molested two teenage boys, something I refused to believe, and as soon as we got back to Canada the entire community abandoned him. He spent over ten years in that jail before he was allowed to return, permanently disfigured by the experience and never given a chance to plead his case. I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I’d get whisked away by a black car one day. If my whole community would abandon me because of an accusation. It had happened to Trent, and now it was happening to Galloway, right in front of me.

I positioned the nail, then picked up the hammer.

Galloway pleaded. “Will, we had that fiction workshop, remember? Come on, you know me! Think about all the friends we have in common. Think about what you’re doing here.”

“I did think about it. I’m sorry, man. I’ve got to do this.”

“Just take a moment. You’re smarter than this. You don’t want to hurt anybody, right?”

I blinked for a few quiet seconds, my teeth clenched, then swung my hammer. The first thud sent the nail into his flesh, just deep enough to dredge up a splurt of blood. With the second hit I pierced his entire ankle, forcing the head of the nail into the soft wood underneath. And with the third whack my job was done. I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he ululated in pain.

“He penetrated her, so we penetrated him,” I said. “Justice.”

“It’s not quite justice, but it’ll do,” said Greg. “Come on now.”

The bright orange sun had crested the horizon, making silhouettes out of the crucifixes that had already been raised. Birds chirped suspiciously as the soldiers continued their grisly work. Greg reached an arm around my shoulders and escorted me away from Galloway, back into the Nelson Star newsroom. We were still clanking along in our centurion uniforms, but now we were back in March 2016. We marched right past where Kai and Ed were working at their computers, past Cheryl the front desk lady and right down the front stairs into the parking lot. When we reached it, laying right there in my normal parking spot was another crucifix. Three men were struggling to subdue a fourth, pinning him in place. I edged closer to try and figure out who it was, and within a few moments his body had gone slack. They had knocked him unconscious. As they tied his limbs firmly I leaned in to look at his face.  

It was my publisher Cam Carpenter.

The Kootenay Goon

[alexanderwrites]

Thoughts Roundup - Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 8

“Gotta Light?”

This is only my second thought roundup on Twin Peaks: The Return and already the thought of giving it up has crossed my mind. Because how are you supposed to neatly round up your thoughts about....that? Part 8 is, without a doubt, the most abstract and unique thing i’ve ever seen on television. It’s staggering, really: while you can compare it to Eraserhead or Inland Empire, those were movies. This is on television. Mainstream television. That is fucking insane. There really isn’t a precedent for this in television’s history, and even by Lynch’s standards, this is abstract. 

It’s funny to look back to a week ago (which after episode 8, feels like 25 years ago) and think that everyone was delighted that the show was gaining some sort of cohesion and that the next episode would be the most Twin Peaks-y yet. This episode was a sort of side story, or as some have called it, an intermission. It’s a brief detour - but how lucky are we that we’ve got a season of television long enough (and well funded enough) that a one hour masterpiece that spends most of its time inside a nuclear explosion is just 1/18th of the story. I have always been a huge fan of episodes of shows that stand alone as sort of short films - not quite bottle episodes, but not far off. Nora’s New York Conference episode of The Leftovers, The Pine Barrens episode of The Sopranos, David’s kidnapping episode of Six Feet Under and, yes The Fly episode of Breaking Bad are all some of my favourite episodes of television - and none of them really progress the plot forward too much. This episode felt a lot like those, and while some are itching for the plot to get moving (I hope i’m not being naive in thinking that next week really will get back to the story...p-probably), I love detours. 

Plus, this hour wasn’t just Lynch and Frost “trolling” fans with wilfully obscure material (can we just drop that as even being a possibility?) there was a lot of origin story packed into this hour. So, we now can pretty much assume that an atomic blast ripped a hole between our world and their world. We know that BOB was created/released/vomited up into our world by this “Mother” creature inside the blast - which is surely the creature from the box, the “Mother” that pounded on the door in the Mauve Room, and the creature that Richard Nixon took Douglas Milford to see in The Secret History of Twin Peaks. We also get more of a look into the woodsmen and their origin, get to see a great deal more of The Giant from another place and his whole “process”, and we also find out that Laura Palmer is, from the looks of it, not of earthly origin. On top of that, we finally get to see what seems to be the ‘convenience store’ mentioned in the original run and FWWM, and get a good few dollops of nightmare imagery on top of that. So there’s a lot to go on. 

It’s interesting to ponder who the girl at the end might be (Sarah Palmer seems to be a common belief), and i’m eager to find out how these woodsmen, or these hatched insects, or BOB himself, wound up in Twin Peaks (they all pitched in for a trip together maybe? They took a couple of weeks off from work to head up there for a break, but decided they loved it so much that they just stayed?). Twin Peaks seems to have been one of several portals to the Black Lodge that predated the blast, so perhaps BOB headed up there so he could use the portal. Who knows? We might get these questions answered, and we might not, but I don’t find myself yearning for answers after that episode, I just find myself wanting to experience it again.

And that’s what Part 8 really is; an experience. It’s a viscerally powerful hour, and as soon as Doppelcoop and Ray took a turn off the highway (a neat metaphor for the whole episode, and a nice visual echo of Lost Highway) you could feel that power surging and spilling over. It’s too soon to guess the fate of Doppelcoop after being shot, or the implications that it will have on Dale, so the focus that I had during this scene was on the utter fucking horror that visually unfolded. I gasped pretty loudly and covered my mouth at the woodsmen charing from the darkness. It felt so intrusive, like you were being attacked by them, in a similar way to how BOB climbed over the couch to come right for the audience. The effect of them being transparent is so effective and ghostly - it reminded me of the haunting moment that Jimmy Scott faded out of existence in the red room back in Season 2. The relative quiet of the scene is a good counterpoint to the abrasively loud attack by the Mother in the Box (Might just call her BoxMum from now on), and it’s just as effective. What they actually were doing to Doppelcoop is an interesting question (as is seeing BOB’s snarling face being cut out of Doppelcoop), but it’s not as important as how the scene looks and feels, which is dripping in dread and terror. I had a reaction to it similar to the one I had when I first saw the woodsman in the jail cell, only this one was even nastier. And yes - I had nightmares after watching this episode.

The scenes inside the explosion are stunning and hypnotic, and they’re some of the best uses of CGI i’ve seen on TV. I love that Lynch so embraces new technology and utilises it to bring his nightmares to life. The scenes reminded me of The Tree of Life which, though it might not sound like it to some, is definitely a compliment (fuck you, I loved that movie). Equally as hypnotising are the sequences set inside...the white lodge? The...other place? Who knows exactly where it is, but the Giant is there (and there’s always music in the air...), everything is black and white and it feels like a dream version of a Boardwalk Empire set (weirdly, I could imagine Richard Harrow as a spirit. One who kills a bit too much but is still fairly nice). Carel Struycken’s haunted and benevolent face acting in this episode is wonderful and comforting, and some of the clearest cut evidence that the Giant is a kind force. I know we already knew that, but it’s nice to be reminded. Who knows whether the ball of light containing Laura’s image was sent to earth for her to be born in the first place, or whether it arrives in the present for her to be reborn, but that’s something I imagine we’ll find out, and the point remains: Laura is innately good, as we always knew her to be. Damn, this series has made me miss her. I hope we get more of her over the next episodes.

Elsewhere, the shots of the convenience store (and the spirits going in and out) are jarringly fractured and discomforting, and the weird evil bug-monster hatching and finding its way to a host is absolutely horrific. As is the woodsman wondering to and from nowhere, killing and haunting. As is...god, you know what? There’s too much to cover in this episode - and I haven’t even mentioned Nine Inch Nails yet. There is too much for which I can’t find the right words, and no words really could justify how much the Woodsman and his distorted voice scare me. No words can really signify just how strange it was to see him walk into the darkness and silence at the end of the episode, followed briefly by the sounds of a horse neighing. 

This episode is about evil. It’s about the powerful, awful, evil of man that creates even more evil, and becomes a horrible feedback-loop of horror and destruction. Who knows where the lodge creatures originated from, but we let them in. This episode tells us that man created something so dreadful - the atomic bomb - , and were so complicit in it, that we allowed evilness to prosper. It’s a very scary and very direct prospect, but the idea of it being everyone’s fault in some way goes right back to season 1 and the death of Laura Palmer. Who was there for her? Who helped her? Who stopped her from being taken? And that BOB being released into our world was because of something we did is extremely powerful. The episode is clearly anti-war, and it seems to be invoking the nuclear paranoia and terror felt the world over to highlight just how terrible our actions can be. But Twin Peaks is not a miserable, pessimistic, we’re-all-doomed show. Goodness exists, and the truth is always more complicated than Good vs Evil. What this episode asks is for you to look deep into the core of the explosion and to see what you might in the swirling fires. The point of this episode, and of The Return, is to get lost in the fire and to come out of it with something - and what that something might be is down to each individual viewer. We just have to be okay with the fact that sometimes the fire will give us horrible flying ghoulie nightmare bastard bugs. 

“This is the water, and this is the well Drink full, and descend The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within”