#no wonder Aziraphale wanted a smooch

[fruitomens]

👄

[skiptomyylu]

HAPPY FEMME AZIRAPHALE FRIIIIDAAYYYY ONCE AGAIN

Aziraphale lovers great and small! Welcome to yet another wonderful, incredible, magnificent: FEMME AZIRAPHALE FIRDAY!! If you aren't aware of what Femme Aziraphale Friday is, allow me to inform!

Every Friday, we take a little time to celebrate Aziraphale presenting more femme or with a more female aligned corporation! It's just for fun and definitely not required, but we'd love to see your beautiful works! Everyone is free to join in: Writers, Artists, Musicians, Poets, etc... The more the merrier!

If you'd like to share any of these works, all you've got to do is share whatever Femme Aziraphale related post you'd like using the tag #Femme Aziraphale Friday ! It'd be such a treat to see so many beautiful posts flood the tag :>

Every version of Aziraphale (femme or otherwise) is beautiful and valid, so don't be afraid to show yours! I'll probably fall in love with her (/gn) immediately heheheheurhhehfufeh

Unfortunately this week has been a bit busy busy busy, so I haven't been able to prepare anything for this Friday! So today I'll just be doing some highlighting of some previous Femme Aziraphale Friday posts!

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Let's start off with a GORGEOUS art piece by the talented @fawnim

SAVE ME SINGER AZIRAPHALE SAAVEE MEEEEE!!! Goodness, this work is so gorgeous! The shimmer on the dress and the light reflecting off of Aziraphale really draws you in! 😫💕 Also please do consider buying Nim a Kofi!

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Next up, the very FIRST official Femme Aziraphale Friday fic ever by the astounding @forsssnaken

Aziraphale experiments with a feminine form and the events that follow are both adorable and amusing! Honestly I wanted to give her a smooch through the screen as I read along omfgngirlhae

While you're add it, check him out on A03, and take a gander at its other works!

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Finally...omg...it's me heuhehehheuehuheu

This is one of my own personal depictions on Femme Azira! I love her so very much and I think if I got to hug her just once, all my problems in life would be solved.

I actually do wanna start posting art more consistently, so keep an eye out for me heuheheheuhehheuheuheu!

:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ

Tis all for now my loves! Until next FAFriday!

Toodleooooo!

[chaotic-saturne]

Just watched good omens season 2 so here are our thoughts :

SO OBVIOUSLY BIG SEASON 2 GOOD OMENS SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!

- don't like the Aziraphale slander, let characters be ✨flawed✨ and not perfect little beans

- not really fond of the fan theory that Metatron did put smth in Aziraphale's drinking cuz it would miss on the whole Aziraphale' struggle with his morality and basically religious trauma, AND the fact that Metatron clearly pushed him into it, Aziraphale has lots of issues with the statue quo and authority figures, so Metatron clearly coming in right after Crowley left (I'd think he likely saw them kissed, or at least see Aziraphale emotionally distressed) so Aziraphale has no time to think, Aziraphale clearly hesitates but Metatron pushes and pushes again

- love (tho emotionally destroyed us as well) the scene in which Aziraphale is waiting for Crowley to bring him to hell because he lied, as if lying is worse than killing CHILDREN because it's god' ineffable plan, this whole scene really shows the lack of understanding of humankind from angels and God AND how authoritarian god actually is, which is why when Crowley says in the last episode they're toxic, it really hits on point, how cult-ish it almost looks and how it destroys your own morality, how Crowley who is a demon is supposed to be bad but is doing good things and angels are supposed to be good and do constantly bad things, and how Crowley is "bad" only cuz he asked questions (it also makes us wonder, are all demons stereotypes bad or are some shut down/pressured into acting bad? Like the angels can be shut down/pressured into not thinking too much?)

- was destroyed by the fact that Crowley opened up to Aziraphale on his feelings to end up being emotionally so fucking hurt to the point of putting his GLASSES ON WHICH HE NEVER DOES BEFORE INSIDE AZIRAPHALE'S BOOKSHOP

- love the lesbians, so glad Nina was able to break up and so glad they opened up with Crowley on how THEY also play with human lives as if it's funny and/or entertaining and not considering humans' relations and feelings which is in fact a replica of their own relationship to each other (also as a way to not emotionally open up to the other)

- the way God is treated in the show really keeps reminding us of the way God is shown in Angels before Man by Rafael Nicolás (really recommend ! especially if you're a queer with religious trauma)

- happy for Belzebub and Gabriel tho'

- glad to have wheelchair disabled representation, as a wheelchair user as well ☺️

- loved the tension between Michael and Uriel (they should angrily smooch)

- love the fact that both Crowley and Aziraphale use god' imagery to do good when it was not god' intention to do good, the whole morality thing is even furthermore questioned there (let there be the light by Crowley episode 1 and the whole situation with Job)

- Crowley has religious trauma but acknowledge it and Aziraphale don't

- Mr Fell, i don't know i just feel like his name being FELL when trying to pass as human, is kinda funny and ironic and maybe means something more

- Aziraphale being a landlord is UGH SIGH BIG SIGH, however that he is bad at it is actually good and it just furthers (along with his capitalist bullshit ranting when in Scotland) him wanting to follow the statue quo and what authority portrays as good even within the human morality is, well, it says a lot

- Aziraphale wanting to be saved by Crowley cuz 1/maybe it means in his thinking that it means Crowley can be saved/redeemed 2/Aziraphale likes being saved, taken care of 3/Aziraphale kinda puts his authoritative issues (trusting someone too much bc they have an authoritative power over him) on Crowley those moments cuz Crowley is the one deciding and taking control, but at the same time they are on equal foot and everything so it may mess up Aziraphale furthermore into his own personal dilemna

Here's for now, thank you for reading 😭

[wrenzfic]

I suppose since this blog is called "wrenzfic" I ought to actually post some fic.

A little post-s2 reunion idea with smooches:

.....................

They stood for a moment just staring at each other. Aziraphale shifted, uncomfortably aware of his Heavenly pale grey morning coat, stiff and unfamiliar compared to Crowley’s black-clad, loose-limbed self. He looked as beautiful as always. Sinuous and just faintly ridiculous. A fond smile twitched at Aziraphale’s lips briefly before he shoved it down as a bad idea. No matter how familiar they had once been, Crowley was now looking at him with a grim expression that Aziraphale wasn’t sure he had ever seen on his friend’s face.

The angel cleared his throat and nervously fingered his cuffs. “Um. Yes. Hello.”

Crowley stalked towards him, his face still in that ominous expression. 

“I -” Aziraphale wasn’t sure how to start. He had assumed Muriel would keep Crowley up to date with the goings on in Heaven. Had hoped that by the time they saw each other again he would understand at least a little of why he had had to leave.

Crowley paused barely a step away. Aziraphale held his breath to be so close to him again, not daring to move, his lips tingling with remembered sensation from the last time they had been this close.

Suddenly he was enveloped in Crowley’s arms, wiry and strong around his shoulders, his own coming up to Crowley’s back without a thought, squeezing him closer.

“Never. Do that. Again.” Crowley said firmly from where his face pressed against Aziraphale’s neck.

“I rather think Heaven will not be looking to invite me back any time soon,” Aziraphale said lightly.

Crowley only gave him a squeeze. “Don’t leave me.”

Aziraphale clutched helplessly at Crowley’s jacket. “Oh, dearest. I never wanted to leave you. I never want to be apart from you. You understand don’t you? I was trying to keep you safe. Keep us all safe.”

“I know.” Slowly Crowley released his hold, just enough that they could face each other. Aziraphale politely ignored the wetness just visible at the edge of his sunglasses, while Crowley gently swiped a thumb across Aziraphale’s cheek, catching the droplet there. “Our side has never been the two of us has it?”

Aziraphale sniffed and shook his head.

“Humanity,” Crowley said with feeling. “The universe. This Creation we have.” He looked at the sky with a deep breath. “It’s part of our side too.”

“I couldn’t just leave.” Aziraphale pleaded, hoping Crowley would understand. “I couldn’t. I’m s-”

“If you say ‘sorry’, angel I’ll never forgive you,” Crowley said, meeting his eyes, with a gentle smile. “Because then I’ll have to apologise too and I’m not doing that dance ever again.”

A giggle burbled up from Aziraphale’s throat sounding more like a hiccup or a sob. He settled his head on Crowley’s chest, letting Crowley rest his chin on his head.

“You’ve made a good start,” Crowley said quietly, “but we’ve got a ways to go if we’re going to save our side from the other two.”

“I know,” Aziraphale said, glad Crowley could not see his face as he felt a blush creeping up his cheeks. “There is one other thing first. If you’re amenable.”

“Anything, angel.”

“Well…last time…before…well…you kissed me.” He felt Crowley stiffen and gave him a squeeze, desperately hoping he was not about to tear them apart again. “I was wondering whether you might want to…do it again. Though a little gentler might be in order this time.”

There was a pause long enough that eventually Aziraphale had to see his face, had to see if he could tell the thoughts percolating behind those glasses.

“You want me to kiss you?” Crowley said hesitantly.

His cheeks were definitely red now. “Or I suppose I could kiss you,” Aziraphale offered. “It’s just…I have been thinking about it rather a lot. Have hardly been able to stop thinking about it in fact. Thinking about you…”

Crowley’s hand drifted to his jaw and he leaned into it. “You’re sure?”

“Oh Crowley of course I’m sure you dolt!” 

Aziraphale lurched forward, closing the already narrow gap between them. At first the kiss was almost as brutal as the first, until slowly they both relaxed, Crowley cupping his face gently, Aziraphale’s hands slipping to Crowley’s hips and pulling him as close as possible. As their lips moved against each other Aziraphale felt the blood from his cheeks sink decidedly lower, a tiny but growing knot of need settling in his belly. His breath came faster and when he shifted his hands to Crowley’s waist, under his shirt the noise the demon made had him holding down a growl.

It was a long minute before they broke apart and then only hesitantly, coming back for small pecks at each others’ lips as they gradually disentangled themselves. Crowley’s kiss stained lips had him mesmerised as he pulled away, the colour incredibly fetching, enticing him to bold thoughts he had never had before…

“Angel…” Crowley said, somewhat dazed, and said angel had a certain amount of sympathy, feeling somewhat dazed himself.

Aziraphale cleared his throat, taking a step back and completely unable to keep his hungry eyes from the other being. “Yes. That…that is something we are going to have to come back to.” He looked Crowley up and down and felt the excitement ripple through him. “When the world isn’t ending.”

“When the world isn’t ending,” Crowley agreed, his own gaze seemingly captivated. “That’s a promise angel.”

“Oh yes,” Aziraphale said. “I should think so.”

[tonydaddingham]

Lol isn’t it funny how Mr. Very Good At Forgiveness demands an apology dance after Crowley finally agrees to help him with Gabriel? Angels are supposed to be good at forgiveness, but one of the joys of being with Crowley is that he’s allowed to be a little petty. In fact, even after he’s satisfied by the dance, he doesn’t actually-

…doesn’t actually-

…

…wait, hold on

what if “I forgive you” was his response to “I was wrong, you were right about helping Gabriel heaven instead of running off and avoiding it”?

“I forgive you” -> “As you just admitted the angel equivalent of 2 seconds ago, you were wrong about this. We have to help!”

hi nonnie!!!✨ well, the So Did I argument is i think a very clear parallel to the Feral Domestic™ in ep6, in that whilst on a much larger scale and evidently did not result in crowley swanning back in to offer his help and an apology, the context of that apology is different to the context we are given in ep6.

crowley didn't tell aziraphale the danger that beelzebub suggested when he came back to the bookshop, but had a higher stake in ensuring that the plan went off without a hitch - to the point that id be surprised if crowley wholly meant the apology he gave...

was he just apologising so that aziraphale would let him help, by extension giving him the opportunity to protect aziraphale, rather than because he actually thought aziraphale was right in hiding gabriel? hm. and you're right, aziraphale didn't say he forgave crowley, something that he knows hurts and angers him.

so, in the endgame argument, why would aziraphale say it after being smooched into another plane of existence? well i have my thoughts on this, which i don't think have been very popular lmao, but i still somewhat stand by them. overcome with emotion and playing his last card in getting aziraphale to stay, crowley kisses him. and aziraphale is shocked, we can visibly see that, but allows himself a microsecond to accept it.

but my interpretation of aziraphale's inner monologue essentially goes like: "wtf are you doing / stop, this hurts / i want to reciprocate but this is very difficult for me in the position im in now / please know i love you back / but this can't happen and you know it can't / this is cruel / why would you do something so cruel", or something to that effect.

and that's why i think aziraphale says he forgives him - the only time we've otherwise seen aziraphale forgive crowley is when crowley has said something that's really struck at a sore spot in aziraphale's armour - "how can someone as clever as you be so stupid?". it's his reflex to crowley actively causing him pain, because he knows it will hurt him back, but have plausible deniability in its meaning. dick move, that's obvious.

but this is partly why i think - however subconsciously or unintentionally - crowley reverted to his last weapon and tried to tempt aziraphale with the kiss. "look, this is what you could have if you stay / isn't this what you want? it's what i want / we could be wonderful together, angel / and all you have to do is stay". and frankly, i think aziraphale knew it.

he knew that this is crowley's last power that could work on him, and it might have, even if for a second, worked. but i feel like at this point in aziraphale's story, he's tired of being manipulated and being taken for a fool (ironic given metatron's workings on him), and the one person he could trust not to treat him like that was crowley. it hurt. hence (in my opinion), the 'i forgive you'✨

[iris-in-the-rain]

favourite good omens ship for the ask game! :D

Gives nose/forehead kisses: 

Crowley loves Aziraphale's nose, so he gives him little smooches randomly. Aziraphale loves to take Crowley's head in his hands and gives him long forehead kisses.

Gets jealous the most:

Crowley decidedly does not like anybody flirting with his Angel and gets irrationally jealous even though he knows Aziraphale is totally oblivious to said flirting.

Takes care of on sick days:

Aziraphale might be the most caring Angel on any given day, but when he's sick, he's a nightmare. But Crowley is endlessly patient 😊

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day:

Aziraphale LOVES beach day! Crowley doesn't necessarily want to go into the water, but it gets better with time and Aziraphale's presence.

Brings the other lunch at work:

Not so much brings lunch, but Crowley makes sure Aziraphale's cocoa is always hot. And Aziraphale makes sure that his Demon is hydrated and fed when he spends all day in their cottage garden and forgets.

Tries to start role-playing in bed: 

Aziraphale, actually. He's adorably awkward and Crowley could not love him any more.

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: 

Definitely Crowley, no competition! 😁

Firmly believes in couples costumes: 

Oh my god, Aziraphale! He wants to recreate his and Crowley's favourite eras looks and also wants to sew the costumes himself, despite Crowley begging him to use magic!

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: 

Aziraphale absolutely insists on buying presents and 'no miracling them, Crowley' and spends ages making sure each gift is perfect.

Makes the other eat breakfast:

Aziraphale really gets into cooking and baking once him and Crowley move into their cottage. He gets up early and prepares breakfast every day. The wonderful smells make Crowley drag himself out of bed and it quickly becomes the favourite part of his day, breakfast with his Angel.

Remembers anniversaries:

Surprisingly, it's Crowley. Aziraphale gets scatterbrained sometimes, but Crowley remembers every special moment in their time together, since the very beginning.

Brings up having kids first:

They don't have kids, but Crowley adopts every stray animal that wonders onto their property and Aziraphale absolutely dotes on each and every one.

Kills the bugs:

Crowley shrieks sometimes when a spider drops onto his shoulder, but Aziraphale lovingly picks up the creature and coos at it, while he takes the spider outside. Crowley pouts and turns into a snake, until Aziraphale picks him up, too and Crowley naps while curled around his Angel's shoulders.

First to define them as a couple:

I mean, it's obvious to literally ANYONE.

Who hides their guilty pleasures longer:

Neither has to hide anything anymore.

Snorts while laughing:

They both do and that makes them laugh even more.

Ask game can be found here

[ineffablefool]

I was wondering if you finished and plan to publish the Umbrella AU? I checked your account and I couldn't find it anywhere (sorry if I just didn't notice). I would really gladly read it! (I desperately need it)

Finished, no; still plan to publish, though, yes.

I realized something like a year and a half ago that the story needed a structural overhaul from the beginning before I could move on to its conclusion. (Example: Crowley never actually indicates what he does for a living, in like six months of increasingly close friendship. Even when he hangs out at the bookshop for hours at a time "putting in some hours" on his laptop. So how does he pay his bills? I have no idea.) Then I didn't actually do it, because the ol' depression started getting so bad that "200 usable words on a short one-shot" became a really, really good week. (I used to write INNW chapters in 2-3 days. How.)

I know what it feels like when a story is no longer alive in my head, and this one is still kicking. It's just kicking on the other side of a door, and the door is closed, and there's a big pile of furniture built up blocking that door plus also a sign saying "Beware Of Leopard".

Would a probable outtake help? Looks like I rewrote the currently-last couple of chapters about a dozen times at the end of 2021, so here's the entirety of one chunk which I dropped midway through and I'm guessing probably won't pick up again:

--

[This human!Aziraphale is in his early 40s and has never been on a date or anything, and now somehow he seems to have become on smooching terms with Crowley. Some number of days or possibly weeks into this he asks Crowley whether Crowley is in love with him.]

"Well, I mean, hah." It was probably meant as a laugh, that sound. Perhaps Crowley was trying to smile. "Don't need to talk about all that so fast, do we? I mean, you -- you like me, like spending time with me, right? Angel?"

Aziraphale nodded, not looking up from where his hands now lay absolutely still together.

"Right -- and I… really like spending time with you, best part of my life these days, honestly -- w-which I don't mean to mean anything --"

The shiver in Crowley's voice was all the 'No' Aziraphale needed, really. Of course it wouldn't be that. There was a reason no one had ever so much as asked him out for coffee, let alone wanted to pursue a romance with him, and whatever that reason might be, it wasn't as though anything had changed. He was still only himself. And yes, at last, he'd found exactly one man who could be fond of him -- who could inexplicably find him physically attractive, who would actually want to kiss him -- but that was already more than he should ever have expected.

He was just one of those poor souls whose fate was to never be loved like that.

"It's all right," he said, cutting off Crowley's scramble for an answer. "I'm not expecting you to be."

"Aziraphale --"

There was a little catch in his throat, suddenly, although he wasn't quite sure where it had come from. "Goodness, I'm rather making a hash of things, aren't I? I didn't mean to push you into having to give the 'it's not you, it's me' speech quite so early…"

He raised his head, finally, trying on a reassuring smile, although he hoped that at least some of the terror would already be gone from Crowley's face.

Ah. Even worse: now the poor man looked absolutely heartbroken.

"Aziraphale," Crowley said again. "It isn't you."

"Please, you needn't --"

"And it isn't me either, it… urgh." At last Crowley pushed himself away from the wall, pacing without really seeming to be watching where he was going. His hands shoved through his hair, setting it to disarray and somehow looking even more handsome than before. "It isn't anyone. There isn't a thing."

--

Then Crowley would stumble through his explanation that in fact the answer is yes actually very much extremely yeah yes.

[witches-and-cows]

My Fics

a link to all my fics in one post !!

BROADCHURCH

call me alec - alec hardy / fem!single mom!reader

SYNOPSIS: “[name], you should’ve been an artist, ‘stead of a bloody receptionist.” “well, we don’t all get what we want; i’m doing enough to support me and my kid.”

WARNINGS: fem!single mom!reader, kisses

kiss in the cold - alec hardy / fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: Alec is very much fond of [Name], but not too fond of the cold settling over Broadchurch.

WARNINGS: fem!reader, kisses, a little bit of suggestive dialogue

a symphony - alec hardy / gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: alec hardy loves the symphony that swells in his chest when he's with you

WARNINGS: cursing, sad fluff, based on 'i hear a symphony' by cody fry, gender-neutral!reader

here for you - alec hardy / gn!reader

SYNOPSIS: alec does his best to comfort you after a bad nightmare

WARNINGS: cursing, nightmares, kissing

GOOD OMENS

kisses and cocoa - aziracrow (or ineffable wives) / fem!child!reader

SYNOPSIS || just a little down time in the snow with our favorite angel and demon, and their baby girl

WARNINGS || fem!toddler!reader, it’s the wives cuz honestly i love them and they deserve more, reader is like, 5

bullies - parent!ineffable husbands / teen!non-binary!reader, ineffable husbands

SYNOPSIS || [Name] is being harassed relentlessly, so much so that their parents have to step in

WARNING || cursing, lgbtphobia (specifically transphobia and/or enbyphobia)

are you trying to romance me? - ineffable spouses / fem!reader

SYNOPSIS || an Ineffable Spouses x Reader, where the reader is a prophetess that Aziraphale brings back to the book shop and she kind of flirts with both Crowley and Aziraphale?

WARNINGS || fem!reader (tho i don’t really use any pronouns besides ‘you’) 

first time for everything - crowley / gender-neutral!reader

SYNOPSIS || crowley's never been kissed. you remedy that

WARNING(S) || cursing, making out, implied smut, yada yada yada

hugs and other intamacies (with an angel and a demon) - aziraphale / crowley / gender-neutral!reader 

SYNOPSIS || just a celebratory night in after armageddon’t

WARNING(S) || kisses, suggestive dialogue, implied smut, cuddling, hugs 

MARVEL

"thanks" - jessica jones / fem!cage!reader

SYNOPSIS: just jessica being amazing and your brother being overprotective

WARNING(S): cursing, reader is luke cage’s sister <333 i’m gonna start using all lowercase i’m tired lol

love, a little too complicated pt. 2 - jessica jones / fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: jessica jones loves her girlfriend. but it takes a dire situation for her to realize

WARNING(S): kilgrave being an ass, (minimal) cursing, blood, implied assault (sexual and otherwise)

warped reality - peter parker / fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: “Could you please do a Peter Parker x reader? Where the reader has the same powers of Wanda? And in the end of the infinity war she thought she lost him and created her own reality where everyone is alive and well. The more she spends on her on reality the more she becomes insane and becomes the next *cough cough* villainess of the next spiderman movie.”

WARNING(S): a lil bit of cursing, follows the plot of wandavision LOOSELY, like, same synopsis, might be a series???? also i’m aging both peter and the reader up to 18, to better fit the plot

cuddle time - wanda maximoff / gender-neutral!reader

SYNOPSIS: “hi :)! can i request a fic with wanda maximoff (mcu) based on “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one,”? gender neutral reader please 👉👈”

WARNING(S): fluff !!! neutral reader, small swear

PRODIGAL SON

meeting the (definitely homicidal) parent - malcolm bright / gender-neutral!reader

SYNOPSIS: malcolm unintentionally takes his partner to meet his father, The Surgeon.

WARNING(S): cursing (minimal but still), martin whitly being...himself

come again soon pt 2. - martin whitly / fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: "Could you do a fic with Martin Whitly, where reader is making a documentary about The Surgeon and she goes to interview him, but he starts to flirt with her and throws her off her game, just so she’ll have to come see him again. Please and thanks. (So glad to find someone else who writes for Prodigal Son!)"

WARNING(S): not much, actually

SUPERNATURAL

no matter what - dean winchester / gender-neutral!reader

SYNOPSIS: "Hi! I was wondering if you could please write an X reader for either Sam or Dean Winchester (whoever you want to write for is fine, I don’t have a preference) where the reader comes out to him as panromantic asexual and wants to see if that is okay with him. Thank you 😊"

WARNING(S): gender-neutral!reader, fluffy fluff

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY

are you saying i'm not romantic? - diego hargreeves / male!reader

SYNOPSIS: "Are you saying I’m not romantic?" - Diego Hargreeves x male reader (if you're comfortable with that?) maybe where the Reader and Diego get separated at the end of season 1 and find each other in season 2 and share their first kiss or something?? (if you decide to write this please no smut? I don't really like that😅)

WARNING(S): one homophobic guy, a smooch

ALEX RIDER

nothing yet !!!

DOCTOR WHO

nothing yet !!!

DC

nothing yet !!!

[heart-waves]

hc trade with @flusteredshipping !!! sorry for the wait dshfsdh i’m in the middle of a move :33 hope u like these!!! 

- Crowley and Aziraphale think you're just the cutest thing! They adore charming you, Crowley especially - you're extra adorable if you get flustered.

- Aziraphale loves talking to you about anything at all, but especially your interests; he pays extra close attention and learns everything he can just so he can talk more about it with you.

- Crowley is definitely going to surprise you with flowers. Only the absolutely most perfect ones for his love!

- Aziraphale will absolutely set up the most elegant dates! He often reads up on classy romance novels in order to best impress you, so expect things like roses, music, candles, anything like that. He'll also be the perfect gentleman - opening doors, pulling chairs, offering a kiss to your hand.

- If you ever have trouble sleeping, Crowley will absolutely tell you stories to help you fall asleep! Though they tend to be skewered in his favor - he really just wants to look cool for you tbh (if you encourage him, he'll get all flustered and smug, too!).

- Aziraphale's the same way, though you're more likely to get fiction or stories with an additional moral - Oh, and he very much loves to be close to you when he's reading. Your presence alone makes him feel warm - there's nothing more precious to him than being with someone he loves, after all.

- Crowley tends to ramble on to his plants sometimes, and after he met you he seems to naturally want to talk about you, like the way your eyes lit up or how something you said was cute. If you’re ever around his plants, they tend to grow towards you just a little - Crowley seems more gentle with them after talking to you, after all!

- They both love to give you affection, anything that’ll make you smile or even flustered; quick little kisses are common (Crowley prefers little hand smooches and Azira prefers to kiss your cheek, but any affection is absolutely lovely to them!)

- They’re not unaffected by you, either, thought! Both of them can be blushy whenever you’re around (Crowley more visibly so, even if he does hide his face in his hands). They can’t really help it - you’re so lovely, and wonderful, and they love you so so much please kiss them

[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 3

THE FINAL CHALLENGER APPROACHES.

This will hopefully be the last Mega Fic Rec Post I make for a long, long time; I have enjoyed it, but a lot of work goes into these and I’m tired. There are 73 titles on this list, organized by category: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/The Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Just Soft, Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. Please enjoy these treasures as I have.

Mentioned questionable material where appropriate; several authors have Tumblrs but I wasn’t able to tag them, for whatever reason. Oh well.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR I HAVE MISATTRIBUTED SOMETHING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. let me feel your heartbeat (grow faster, faster) – @thehoyden (T, the one where Aziraphale had a big ole crush on Crowley before the Fall and it doesn’t stop from happening. This one’s just cute; starts with a “senpai notice me” vibe that morphs into mutual pining very, very quickly. It hits the high notes of a lot of cute romance tropes and I’m into it.)

2. Pride and Prejudice and Angels – SanSanFanFan (G, the one where Miss Crowley and Mr. Fell clash wits. Kinda. Mainly it’s a lot of lovely pining and Aziraphale being sad about awful things happening in London, so he’s escaping to Hampshire for a while, where Crowley happens to be in the middle of a temptation she promptly abandons in favor of lifting Aziraphale’s spirits. Not finished, but already sparkling with Crowley being miffed about gender double standards and Aziraphale letting himself be cheered up by Crowley. It’s great.)

3. Kissing, Accidentally – @skybound2 (G, the one where Crowley can’t help kissing Aziraphale after pinning him against the wall.  Hilarious and sweet and featuring that best trope of all, Crowley going boneless and speechless at an unexpected show of affection and wanting from his angel.)

4. Visible world (or, you are responsible forever for what you have tamed) – @matchahedgehog (T, the one where Russian folklore plays a significant element and it’s weird and beautiful. I don’t think I can really convey what this is, exactly, but there are elements of building a new world and holding on tight to love even through the toughest times and it’s gorgeous.)

5. I’ve Been Drowning All These Years – @terrible-titles (T, the one where Crowley comforts Aziraphale five times and one time Aziraphale comforts Crowley. There are some discomfiting scenes Crowley is talking Aziraphale through in this one, but the comfort is sweet and the resolution is well-deserved.)

6. Moving Rocks – shiphitsthefan (T, the one where confessions are made in 1941 but they can’t act just yet, and waiting is agony. I really adore this one, especially what happens when they finally Smooch, because it happens in a spot I rarely see anyone putting it and it made me smile. The longing is so painful, poor Aziraphale. Poor Crowley.)

7.  On a Wing and a Prayer – @alphacygni-8 (T, the one where Crowley is a pining mess but he has a plan. This is another trip through history of Crowley trying to go about his business while his feels are crushing him, but I think it’s how Crowley tries to go about confessing that helps make this one a standout; there is a restaurant and there is a lot of food and there are, of course, miscommunications aplenty. The historical scenes are nothing to sneeze at, either, they’re all packed with longing and bittersweetness. Lovely.)

8. in the shapes of angels – @qwanderer (T, the one where navigating an intimate and loving relationship of any stripe is difficult when your true form is a bit noncorporeal. This one crescendos in a form of angel-demon soul bonding that really reverberates and sticks in the brain, the visuals are incredible. And the implications of switching bodies gets a lot more high-stakes, too. On top of it all this is a story about finding someone to share your life with, whatever the arrangement of the relationship might actually be, and friends it’s tender and scary and wonderful.)

9. Pilgrim – brasspetal (T, the one where Crowley is on a sabbatical to sort out his feelings and he writes love letters, of a sort. This one is one of those fics that feels like treading in deep water knowing there’s something more in the depths, but it’s more tranquil and less unsettling. There’s an overstory about Crowley traveling with a group of humans and an undercurrent about him working through how he feels about Aziraphale and the two work together to bring about something memorable and, I feel, truly impactful. It’s entirely possible that by the time the last chapter is up, the story will be something completely different from what I’ve described, and that’s cool.)

10. drowned in living waters – @mortuarybees (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale make out in a field and almost get caught. This one is short and sad and made me feel sad things, though the imagery is gorgeous and the argument leading up to the kissing is entertaining. Stupid Gabriel and his stupid face.)

11. Things They Need – LostSoftSpaceDyke (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale take lovers as stepping-stones to get to each other. This one is bittersweet and FRAUGHT, friends, it is absolutely a heart-masher. The ending rights it, of course, and beautifully, but welcome to Hopeless Longing Town, friendos, population One Angel and One Demon.)

12. Off the record – @paintedvanilla (T, the one where Crowley reports his personal sins and then neglects to report his virtues. Bookverse, a wonderful character study of Crowley and Hell’s bureaucracy and how certain things affect Crowley personally. Includes a lovely homage to Freddie Mercury, of course.)

13. By Any Other Name – ausgezeichnet (@thebeatlesaremyboyband) (T, the one where Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis fake a wedding to get Thad Dowling off their backs. While it definitely has its funny moments, what stands out more to me in this one are the soft, quiet moments of pining sprinkled in between their adventures. There’s real strain between Crowley and Aziraphale with this turn of events, and I can’t wait to see it all boil over. Also Thaddeus Dowling is a dickbag in this one and is deffo getting his.)

14. God’s Gift – Katzedecimal (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale are undercover as a lady and her tire-woman while on a job. This one is based on one of the stories from The Akashic Records by PeniG (which y’all know I adore), specifically one where a potential 30K caper is laid out involving this exact scenario, and I love that someone actually tried to tackle some of it. The friendship is so good, and the little bit of excitement that happens in the plot is Terribly Exciting. Just ladies taking care of ladies, what could be better?)

15. All I Want (Is You) – amavyllis (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale don’t touch but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to. Oh, y’all, the longing. The LONGING. And the sheer ACHE of not being able to touch someone you would like to be physically close with. It is PAINFUL and it is GOOD and I am DYING.)

16. meantime i ask you to be my valentine (i’ll be your valentino) – hipsterchrist (T, the one that follows Saint Valentine’s Days through the ages. This one is really interesting, actually, and has one of the most eclectic collections of historical moments I’ve ever seen in one of these types of fics. That ending scene is on point, though; I spoil nothing but you guys TEARS. Of LAUGHTER. And also OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION.)

SOUTH DOWNS

17. Let Me Live Here Ever – @moveslikebucky (T, the one where they’re soft and just talk about their feelings and smooch a lot. This one is part of a larger series but you don’t need to have read it to read this one. It is so very soft, y’all. So tender. I will never be over stories where they just lay in bed all day and revel in how they feel about each other and their life together.)

18. The Cottage, The Husbands – Dragonsquill (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale have a life in the South Downs and it is good. Featuring lots of cute little tableaus and some of the most fun OCs ever—Twelve in particular is a treat, she’s Crowley’s stylist and absolutely wonderful. The whole series is just FUN, it’s cute and casual and domestic and great.)

19. For All the Stars in Heaven – ausgezeichnet (@thebeatlesaremyboyband) (T, the one where Heaven and Hell need to shove off already. This one takes off almost without warning, and escalates rather quickly before a frankly genius solution to The Problem of Aziraphale and Crowley is found. I only deal in happy endings, so you KNOW it’s good for the husbands. Surprisingly good, in fact, I didn’t see it coming at all.)

20. Angel and Demon Teatime – @penig (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale entertain a few unwanted guests for a while. This one is really cool, with a lot of sensory details while Crowley and Aziraphale relive a lot of the sensations of Earth and bring them into the physical world for the spies Heaven and Hell sent after them to experience them, too. The spies are both precious, though in completely different ways, and the ways they go about changing through this visit are subtle but profound.)

21. The Tales of Eden Cottage – Jupiter_Ash (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale slowly settle into their new South Downs community. This one has a lot of fun OCs and some extremely touching stories (the one about Joshua in particular broke my heart in all the best ways). Their neighbors are a lot of fun and the fic in particular that has a facebook chat of their speculations on who the new guys moving into Eden Cottage are is fantastic.)

22. A Brand New Angle – @fallsouthwinter (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale pick a direction and gun it. Has first kisses, dancing, delightful neighbors, gardening—all the best ingredients for a heartwarming, satisfying South Downs romp. And this definitely is one—with some promising things to come, judging by the standalone in the same universe!)

23. A Safe Place for You – Vagabond (@waffleironbiddingwar) (M, the one where learning to receive love is a little bit harder lesson to take in than giving love. M for a humanly intimate scene that borders but does not cross into full smut, and an ethereally intimate scene that is weird and pretty. This whole thing is achingly poignant and heavy; every word drips with emotion and it’s both difficult and sweet, much like the subject matter, I suppose. A memorable and beautiful piece.)

24. Act of Service – @dietraumerei (T, the one where people think Aziraphale is Crowley’s sugar daddy. This one starts off hilarious and then slam-dunks itself right into the Feels Pile, with a side-helping of discussing dynamics and reaching acceptance. An instant classic and one I’ve definitely read more than a few times.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

25. Thou Knowest Us Happy – @mirrorleaf (T, the one where Gabriel gets the truth shoved directly into his face. This is a fic of a fic (the original I have not read bc it’s rated E and I can’t do that for personal reasons), and while this fic references its source quite a bit, it’s not confusing enough for the fic itself to be off-putting. In fact, it’s a gorgeous one-two punch to the throat: first, the Banishing of the Archangel Gabriel, which is INCREDIBLY satisfying; second, the Making Sense of It All, where Aziraphale and Crowley realize they’re truly free and start to explore the various contexts of their relationship, past and future, which is very sweet. A delectable little treat, all told.)

26. Courage – @mandysimo13 (G, the one that’s a good old-fashioned post-apocalypse love confession. There’s a cute little characterization of Courage woven throughout, because of course Crowley personifies the emotions he is or isn’t dealing with, but on the whole it’s adorable and intimate and cute.)

27. when the earth is trembling – @stammiviktor (T, the one where Crowley takes Aziraphale on an amazing date. Listen, I adore stories where Crowley falls to pieces under the weight of his love as much as the next dork, but Crowley delivering? Crowley being, if not confident, then at least secure in the choices he’s making? Crowley showing his angel a good time because he knows what his angel likes? SIGN ME UP, FAM. Especially if we still get Crowley coming a little undone at his attentions paying off in a hoped-for but still unexpected way (to him, anyway).)

28. Little Terrors – @runwiththisdinosaur (T, the one where Aziraphale is being more affectionate and Crowley is one hand-touch away from an aneurism. This one doesn’t pull away from Crowley’s all-consuming fear of Aziraphale Falling for loving him, and captures the messy feelings and hurt and heartbreak and healing these two getting their act together demands. Also Indian food.)

29. Forgiveness – @guanin (G, the one where Aziraphale has a well-deserved breakdown after Armageddon’t. This one is super-duper cathartic and has Aziraphale working through all of his hurt feelings and confusion over Heaven and how they treated him, and how he subsequently treated Crowley. Featuring a very patient Crowley and a very weepy Aziraphale and a lot of wondering about fate and choice.)

30. Of burnt books and courting Crowley – robynvite (T, the one where Aziraphale accidentally finds out Crowley’s in love with him and then sets out to properly woo him. I love fics where Aziraphale finally takes the initiative, and he does so with gusto. Anathema serves as a great sounding board and go-between for these lovestruck idiots, and Crowley not knowing how to handle Aziraphale being flirty is the best thing. Also, Aziraphale finds out they burned the second Agnes Nutter book and has an angelic come-apart.)

31. that I may hear my heart fall from your lips – song_of_fate (NR, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale get to be themselves at last. Y’all like awkward but shyly happy getting-together fics? Y’all like Greek vacations? Y’all like Anathema being a bro and Crowley being casual and Aziraphale being absolutely taken with him? You’ve found your fic, folks, and it’s not even finished yet. More softness to come!)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

32. please please please let me get what I want this time – @sarahbacou (NR, the one where Crowley is extremely tired and Aziraphale muses on their situation. The tone of this one is mournful and apprehensive, but ultimately tender as Aziraphale cares for an exhausted-to-the-point-of-delirium Crowley on the bus ride home. The scene after they get off the bus is just straight-up heartbreaking, there are no other words for it, but it ends hopeful, especially knowing what we know about canon.)

33. Ethereal Love – @mariannightroad (G, the one where trying to teach Aziraphale to sleep morphs into something a little bit more. The purest and sweetest of romances, the most sexless making love of all time (even for weird angel essence-touching, it’s pretty devoid of lust), and just really really Soft u guys.)

34. Long Night’s Journey Into Day – @whatawriterwields (T, the one where Aziraphale keeps watch through the night. This one is adorable and very tender, with a terrible nightmare and an amusing adventure involving remote tea-making and FEELINGS. Aziraphale loves Crowley so much.)

35. Maybe Tomorrow Will Be a Better Day (If You Let Me Look at Your Beautiful Eyes) – TheWinterSldier (T, the one where Aziraphale ponders about Crowley’s eyes while wearing his body. There’s some historical jumping but the majority of the story is focused on retelling Crowley’s trial from Aziraphale’s head, and the meal at the Ritz afterwards. There are a lot of emotions about Crowley’s eyes. Ironically, there were also a lot of emotions about my eyes. Or, rather, in my eyes. Just overflowing with feels.)

AU/UA

36. Hard Times – @northeasternwind (G, the one that’s the bandstand scene in the context of Speremint’s Reverse Omens AU. I love the characterizations of Anthony and Azirafell so much in this particular AU, and the building tension and sudden breaking of the dam at the end is exquisitely done.)

37. Rosemary and Sage – AJissoverytired (T, the one that’s based on the witch AU by masao-micchi and is PRECIOUS. Crowley is the Red Witch, a very famous and talented mage, who accidentally gets turned into a snake by a rival and winds up being found by Aziraphale, a mage-in-training who’s starstruck by the Red Witch. They strike up a familiar contract, with Crowley conveniently not letting Aziraphale know who he actually is, and enter the Completely Ridiculous Comedy of a pseudo-love square. The world is vibrant and fun, characterization is spot-on, and it’s so funny and sweet I’m dying. Worth the read 4000%.)

38. Only Love (Can Bring the Rain) – @soft-october-night (T, the fairy tale-ish AU featuring a sweet prince and his handsome gardener boy. Y’all. Y’ALL. Pining and childhood friends-to-lovers and class struggles and vegetable-growing contests and subterfuge, oH MY. The flavor of this one is Very Very Good, absolutely a gem.)

39. Running in the Shadows (Damn Your Love, Damn Your Lies) – @soft-october-night (M, the one that’s vaguely a Persuasion AU but is mostly a messy, emotional romance shoved into Regency decency. M for mentions of sexual activity that would most certainly overwhelm the sensibilities of a more delicate readership, but it’s not bad at all for a modern reader. I think soft_october might just own my soul, because HOT DANG, that is two AUs in a row that are scratching my itches in the best ways. The LONGING. The EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. The MASQUE BALL. The CLASS STRUGGLES. I have read it twice already and will definitely be coming back to it a lot, because there’s lots of meat on this here bone. Adam Young and Crowley’s relationship in particular is touching, and Crowley’s friendship with Anathema is top-notch.)

40. I have loved you (for a thousand years) – @asideofourown (T, the one where they’ve been dating the whole time but SOMEONE missed the memo. Classic miscommunication at its finest; Crowley’s chapter is painful enough with his pining and heartsick longing, but Aziraphale’s chapter knocks it out of the park with his perspective of actually being in a relationship with Crowley and the various misinterpretations that’s caused. They’re so stupid and I love them.)

41. Gravity – Emmbee_89 (T, the one where Crowley was Raphael and he and Aziraphale had (and have) a love so powerful Aziraphale created Time and they couldn’t be separated even after the Fall. Oh sweet Jebus and all his little elves, the tenderness and powerful heartbreak this one causes gave me actual physical pains. Bittersweet and lovely. I am so proud of them.)

42. The Love You Leave Behind – @gloriouscacophany (T, the one that’s a 1980s college AU where Aziraphale is studying abroad and Crowley is the singer of a rock band. This one is UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous. Listen, I don’t usually go in for human AUs, but this one caught me, hook, line, and sinker. The sensory details are lush (especially when Aziraphale is noticing Crowley, hoo boy) and the story has some built-in heartbreak that’s already paying off (hello, homophobia), but despite the incoming pain and torment, I have full faith and expectation of a great ride along the way. Truly spectacular.)

43. Pray For Us, Icarus – @seaskystone (G and T, the series where Crowley keeps reincarnating as a human and Aziraphale loves him. Listen, I know 90% of you already know this masterpiece, but for the 10% who don’t, this series will heck you up one side and down the other. It will drown you in sorrow so that the good moments are sweeter than air. It is so intense, so emotionally raw, so dadgum TENDER, I had no idea what to do with myself after I finished it. Like a cheese grater on a sunburn when it’s bad, like hot chocolate on a bitter cold day when it’s good. A fandom staple for sure, cathartic and satisfying as only successful recovery after a long, hard, difficult event can be.)

44. Magnesium and Oil – @quaidpoppinjack (T, the one that’s a monster hunter AU. The great thing about fandom is that sometimes people will make AUs you would never have thought of, but once you know of it, you need it desperately. In this one, instead of tempting and thwarting, Crowley and Aziraphale are tasked with gathering the escaped creatures of Eden and sending them either to Hell or Heaven to stock for the impending War. The worldbuilding is AMAZING, the little details are great (for those of you wanting Crowley in hunting leathers, welcome to the party), and the story itself is just good, okay. Great action, lovely plot.)

45. alpha centauri – @hyruling (T, the one where Aziraphale agrees to run away to Alpha Centauri during the Apocalypse. To my understanding, this work was previously deleted by the author, but I’m so glad it was brought back so I could read it, because two very scared, very piney idiots carving out a domestic life on a barren planet WITH A CAT is the jam I didn’t know I had. Watching them circle each other is great; watching it all come tumbling down when Plot happens is even better. It’s a happy ending, don’t get it twisted, but you always have to wade through the Bad before you get to the Good, after all. A lovely little piece, absolutely A+++.)

46. Truth Untold – GenericUsername01 (G and T, the series where Crowley was Raphael, Aziraphale was made to be his assistant, and holy crap on a STICK where to even start. The worldbuilding is INSANE, I love how the Archangels are described and go about their business (word to the wise, do NOT skip the prologue work, you miss all of the best context if you do). And if that’s not great enough, there’s a whole system of angel-devil nemesis pairs all over Earth, whom we get to meet when devils start wanting to repent. There’s baptism involved and it’s horrifying and heartbreaking. Not finished yet, but it’s ramping up. Also, Crowley is functionally blind, which is about to start causing some real humorous problems since no one else knows about it, certainly not Aziraphale.)

47. Take me to the room where the red’s all red (take me out of my head, that’s what I said) – @raiining (M, the one that’s a Dom/sub AU with gentle top Aziraphale and bottom Crowley. No real sexual elements in this one, but I can understand why the M is there, the subject matter might be a little Much for some people even if it is fairly chaste (if sensual). The dynamic between Crowley and Aziraphale is delicious af, especially when they’re snapping at each other and then later melting into each other. It’s just. So good.)

48. Take This Sinking Boat and Point it Home – sobakasu, sssnakelady (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale used to be the same being, and the combination of fundamental incompletion compounding with being in love is tearing Crowley apart at the seams. Darkly emotional and absolutely raw with feeling, quiet and powerful and subtle. Crowley is absolutely heartbreaking, but Aziraphale manages to bind it all up quite nicely—not perfectly, they’ll have to work at it, but sweetly and with perfect love.)

JUST SOFT

49. Three Unthwarted Wiles – @almaasi (G, the one where Aziraphale lets Crowley get away with a few things. Oh my heaven it’s so SOFT, I know that’s the point of this section but HRRGK. Crowley does so much for Aziraphale and Aziraphale returns the favor as often as he can and they just love each other so much I’m sobbing.)

50. The Original Bar Joke – @deathbycoldopen (T, the one where Crowley sees himself as the punch line in God’s big ineffable joke. Sad until finally it isn’t, but Crowley spilling the beans via joke-that-turns-into-scathing-self-reproach is a unique flavor I wasn’t expecting and it broke my heart. Absolutely wonderful.)

51. Love Stories – @just-quintessentially-me (G, the one where Aziraphale is the maudlin sad drunk. Guys, I’ll be real, the emotional payoff of this fic is sweet, but the real highlight for me is Aziraphale scolding a fire he accidentally sets, because nothing feels so Aziraphale as him being drunk off his wings and attempting to LECTURE a FIRE. Also Crowley’s reaction to Aziraphale setting a fire in the bookshop is…well, about how you’d expect. A fantastic little number I quite enjoy.)

52. no mind to lose – @saints-and-demons-preserve-us (T, the one where Aziraphale goes fast and Crowley is a mess. Starts with an ode to Crowley’s long hair, as it rightly should, and evolves into a rather adorable start-stop where Aziraphale engages in various touching activities and Crowley is doing his level best, bless him, to catch up and remember how limbs and lungs work. Precious.)

53. Alas, Poor Yorick! This Is Gonna Suck! – WhiteQueenWrites (T, the one where Crowley finds his perfect opportunity while teaching a theater class to the Them. Yes, it’s canon!verse, not an AU. Yes, Crowley and Aziraphale kiss while teaching Romeo and Juliet. Yes, it is exactly as adorable and tween-traumatizing as you would expect. It’s very fun!)

54. Divine Intervention (aka God Ships It) – @theladyzephyr (G, the one where God has had it up to HERE with two idiots stuck in denial. Oh, folks. This fic is a TEASE. This fic is TANTALIZING. This fic is INFURIATING. And it is so, so worth its weight in gold, because the moment of triumph is so unspeakably sweet. It’s so good, y’all. So good.)

55. Learning to Speak the Language of Flowers – @junkshop-disco (M, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale are orbiting closer. M for discussions of trauma, I think. I’m not sure if I have the words for this one but I’ll try anyway. It shifts between the night the world didn’t end and the events after, and the time Crowley and Aziraphale spent in the Dowling household, and the transitions between the two are so smooth sometimes it’s hard to catch which time period you’re in. The writing is emotive and beautiful, and the emotional impetus behind the fic is compelling. Highly, highly recommended.)

56. seasons, changes – @whatawriterwields (G, the one that cycles through four seasons of Crowley and Aziraphale’s new life in love. Gorgeous and descriptive and so sensory—it really captures a lot of the best parts of each season. And also it’s incredibly loving and I die.)

57. waking up to you – @whatawriterwields (G, the series that’s a collection of tender morning moments. Listen, this writer is the MASTER of tender fluff, and this series is overwhelming. I have had to physically clutch at my heart and wail at my ceiling because of how cute everything is. If you need a dose of fluff after reading something angsty, here’s your medicine.)

58. Nemo dat quod non habet – @liquidlyrium (T and M, the series that examines the aftermath of the trials in Heaven and Hell, and Crowley and Aziraphale have an actual conversation. M rating is just to be safe bc the makeouts can be intense, but it’s not bad. The stories are basically revolving around the same conversation from two different points; Aziraphale’s bit goes more into the kissy-kissy afterwards. Powerful and raw, but understated; there’s dignity in this series, and a good bit of playfulness. The writing carries itself exceptionally well.)

59. Where to Start – @freyjawriter24 (T, the one where Crowley’s almost kissed Aziraphale plenty of times through history. Oh, y’all. Crowley’s emotions are laid so bare. The longing is so good. The scenes are all pretty original and interesting, and you can get a good sense for what Aziraphale’s feeling in these moments, too. Top-notch.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

60. The Power of Touch – @wordsintimeandspace (T, the one where Crowley needs some tending to and Aziraphale is more than happy to do it. It’s lots of kissing and touching and it gets intense but not too sexual. Also some lovely communication and boundary negotiation and it’s great.)

61. show a little skin (baby I’m begging) – @summerofspock (T, the one where Crowley can barely handle seeing Aziraphale flash a little skin now and then. Oh, y’all, it’s so much fun. Crowley is in over his head, someone please help him. Ankles, collarbones, FOREARMS. Oh lawd.)

62. You’re the Only Prayer I Need – @kedreeva (G, the one where Crowley’s shedding and Aziraphale helps. Featuring an absurdly large bathtub, wing bathing, and finally the peeling of snakeskin, which sounds so intensely satisfying, tbh. Simple, companionable, and nice.)

63. Of Firsts and Foremosts – @kedreeva (T, the one where Crawly finds Aziraphale cornered by Ligur and steps in. This one has really interesting bits of lore stuffed into it and a sweetly cautious blooming camaraderie between Crawly and Aziraphale; on top of that, there’s cuddling and wing care and both are extremely good.)

64. At Least Eleven Second First Times – @enjambament (M, the one where Aziraphale has to get used to being on Earth in a body again. M for risqué elements that brush up against smut without crossing over. This one is all about feeling things, from emotional to physical sensations, and how Aziraphale is overwhelmed by it all, but there’s also bits of the inherent diversity of the world and the significance of being able to feel things and on top of being secondhand-overstimulated, it drops you directly into Feels Town and it’s delicious.)

BONUS

65. a snake by any other name – @asideofourown (G, the one where Crowley’s snake form is spotted by a herpetology student and an unlikely companionship is struck. This one is from the view of an OC and is really cute, involving Crowley growing fond of a human with proper appreciation for serpentine charms. Also the OC and her girlfriend have a fun argument about what Crowley actually is and it’s adorable.)

66. Always Trust a Dog’s Judge in Character – notebooksandlaptops (T, the one where Warlock moves back to his London home and starts building a life. This one is so good, y’all; adult (ish, he’s nineteen) Warlock is such a delight and you can see Nanny Ashtoreth’s influence all over him. It’s even better when he meets Adam and forms the biggest crush known to man (good thing it’s reciprocated, that would have been awkward), and befriends the rest of the Them (Pepper in particular is to be feared and respected). A fic about growing up and finding yourself, and I love where it’s going.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

67. In Peace I Will Both Lie Down and Sleep – @fizzybiscuits (G, the one where Aziraphale is having nightmares. This fic feels so organic—like a logical continuation of the show, or at least one of many directions it could take. Aziraphale having vivid bad dreams and NOT TALKING ABOUT IT is so on-brand, and Crowley getting worried out of his gourd is also on-brand. Vulnerable and sweet and soft, once the nightmares are dealt with.)

68. A Touch Like Sunlight – @just-quintessentially-me (T, the one where Crowley acts the hero like an idiot. This is Crowley’s vengeance against the Archangels and it’s heart-pounding; of course stuff goes off the rails pretty quickly, but even the stuff that goes right has tension in it. A great adventure, with an appearance from BAMF!Aziraphale.)

69. Chokecherry – unsmilingchuck (T, the one where Crowley helps clean up Aziraphale’s hands after a frankly awful punishment from Heaven. This fic feels calm, maybe more so when it’s revealed what it’s in the aftermath of, and Crowley is very methodical and meticulous in his care. It’s clear how much they care about each other and that’s always the jam.)

70. Thus saith the Lord – @themanicmagician (T, the one where angels can be drafted into Her service like a hive mind. Oh, folks, you want historical pain? You want emotional torment? You want a thrilling chase and a tender aftercare and a triumphant victory? You want to be in your friend’s house and hear the Plagues song from Prince of Egypt and almost have a complete breakdown bc you’re reliving this fic? Then join me in singing this one’s praises, because it delivers. It does not let up even for a second, once it gets going. This is probably one of the darkest fics I’ve ever read, but the ending balances it out. It’s great.)

71. In Somnis Veritas – PinkPenguinParade (T, the one where Aziraphale volunteers to help Crowley with his nightmares. Oh, y’all. Y’all, this one is so good. Just two immortal beings, working through their various traumas together. There’s pain and healing and a beautiful, beautiful ending. This fic hits all the right notes, it’s splendid.)

72. Incongruous States of Being – @zehwulf (T, the one where Aziraphale is a BAMF and that was never truly up for debate. Featuring an argument meant mostly for fun, and then a fight meant mostly for not-fun. Protective Aziraphale through the roof, gang. Very, very good. The tension is exquisite, and the characterizations are perfection. A wonderful take on Aziraphale and his abilities.)

73. Aim Your Arrow At The Sky – @trellanyx (T, the one where Aziraphale is a warrior and don’t you forget it. Warnings for some pretty graphic violence. This fic is not epic-length but it is epic-scope; it’s downright cinematic. The details are so crisp and the action so well-described, and threaded through it all is fierce, tender, desperate love. A wonderful read, especially if you want to see two particular Archangels get theirs.)

[rebeldaydreams]

Hey could I request Aziraphale x shy!fem! Reader where he gets a bit confident and teases her a bit and pins her against a wall and it gets really romantic and sweet hehe😊😅💕

SORRY THIS TOOK ME LIKE 8 BILLION YEARS TO GET TO. I ended up writing a shortish fic for this because I just loved this idea so so much. thank you for requesting!!

I know you said fem!Reader but honestly it just ended up being gender neutral anyway. Hope u enjoy!!

Aziraphale x Reader

Words: 680

Summary: Angel smooches and Aziraphale being a tease. 

You’d been so engrossed with sorting out some piles of books in the corner of the shop that you didn’t register as Aziraphale had crossed the room to the door and flipped the sign to “CLOSED”. You hummed quietly to yourself as you worked, rather enjoying the peace and quiet, and – temporarily in your own little bubble – Aziraphale’s hands on your waist made you almost jump out of your skin.

“Oh-! Oh…” you huffed out a laugh, placing the book you’d been holding back onto the shelf. “Sorry, I was in my own little world.”

Aziraphale chuckled, pressing a soft kiss just behind your ear. “I didn’t mean to startle you, my dear.”

“I suppose you’re forgiven…” You smiled and leaned your headback against his shoulder. Aziraphale’s arms wound around your waist and he rested his chin atop your shoulder, eyeing the now very tidy looking area of the shop in front of you.

“Well, this looks rather wonderful.” He said, and you felt a small spark of joy rise in you at the praise. “You know…I only think it fair that good, hard work like this deserves a reward.”

You didn’t even have time to open your mouth, never mind ask what kind of reward, before he’d spun you around. A small noise of surprise escaped you and your hands landed on his chest to steady yourself. You looked up to meet his gaze – adorning, soft and intense all at once – and felt heat rise to your cheeks at your proximity to him.

“Wh-What kind of reward?” you dared ask, your voice little over a whisper.

Aziraphale smiled that heavenly, beautiful smile of his that made your heart beat a little faster in your chest. His hands that had previously been on your waist rose to cup your cheeks and he leaned in to kiss you. It was gentle and slow and passionate and your eyes fluttered closed. You barely noticed as he began pushing you backwards, until your back bumped against the bookcase.

“A-Aziraphale-“ you stammered, pulling away from him just enough to be able to speak. Those piercing eyes of his seemed to gaze into your very soul (was that a thing that angels could do?) and you swear you could feel the pure heavenly-ness of him radiating out in waves.

He caught your nervous glance over his shoulder to the door, and he regained your attention with a finger under your chin. “We shan’t be interrupted, my dear. I want you all to myself.”

Christ. You thought. The things he did to you were indescribable. One minute he would be all awkward and giddy, babbling about some 500 year old book and the next he could be undoing you with just his voice and a few sparing touches. Crowley’s influence, perhaps. Not that you were complaining about it, of course.

He leaned in to capture your lips again, this time getting a little more passionate with his kissing. You parted your lips and felt his tongue slide against yours, whilst you slid one hand into his hair, the other gripping onto his shoulder. A minute later he pulled away, leaving you trying to catch your breath, and kissed down your cheek, along your jawline and trailed down your neck and then back up to tease at the shell of your ear.

You leaned your head back against the bookcase, closing your eyes and simply letting the angel ravish you as he pleased.

“You are beautiful, my dear. My sweet thing…” he said, trailing his lips back up to yours.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and tried to pull him closer, to press yourself up against him and feel him. He chuckled against your lips and pulled away, leaving you wanting.

“Someone’s eager.” He said, voice so low it was almost a growl. You bit your lip and gazed up at him adoringly. Aziraphale lightly ran his fingers down your cheek, coming down to gently grasp your chin in his hand.

“Not to worry, my dear. I’ll be sure to take good care of you tonight.”

[bewareofchris]

Ineffable Husbands for 63 seems cute if you'd like?

PG | Aziraphale/Crowley | Good Omens | soft smooching | A: “I really want to kiss you right now.” B: “Then do it.”

The day had been so long.  No days had ever been as long as the one they had just survived.  Aziraphale would know almost better than any other creature in existence; he had lived all the days there were to live on this planet.  Some of them had passed without notice, some of them had lingered, some of them had stuttered and stretched until he thought that time itself might have stopped but all days came to an end.  

Today, this day that had felt like years, had not come to an end.  

The sun had set, and the air had cooled.  Everyone had dispersed back to where they belonged.  Madame Tracy and Shadwell had scuttled off to find somewhere normal and safe to consider all the things they had seen.  The children had been whisked away by Adam’s Father.  There had been all the overtures of a Stern Talking To in their future.  Anathema and her planet saving boyfriend had gone back to her lovely little cottage.  

Crowley was on the bus with him, sprawled into a seat that wasn’t made to be lounged on with such abandon.  One of his hands was resting loosely against his thigh and the other–

The other was threaded through Aziraphale’s fingers.  Crowley’s hand was soft, and slim, and cool.  It was a wonderful hand to hold, gripping just tightly enough to offer comfort.  It asked for nothing, it only gave, and Aziraphale was in desperate need of something that would make this whole miserable day feel better.

Crowley drew in a breath, like he’d reached the end of a thought, like he was gathering himself up to speak.  His legs twitched how they did when he was likely to spring to his feet.  But Crowley didn’t jump up, he didn’t start in on his long-long thoughts, or his ludicrous ramblings.  No, he leaned back against the seat a little more firmly and turned his head to look at Aziraphale.  His glasses were dark in the dimness of the bus but his smile was perfectly beautiful.  He said, “I want to kiss you.”  And as if those words weren’t enough, as if how his focus shifted from Aziraphale’s eyes to his mouth wasn’t quite obvious enough, he said it again: “I really want to kiss you.  I might always have, it feels like I have.”

And tonight might be their last night ever. There was no more time to waste thinking about something they might have been doing all these long years.

Aziraphale smiled at him, he shrugged a bit, “you should do it.”  No, not quite right.  “You should kiss me.”

Crowley still moved like the snake he had been.  His body was all sinew and bones.  It moved in long-slow motions, like it had never bothered learning how human bodies were meant to work.  And sometimes it moved very quickly, so that it had been lounging a moment before but was now turned completely to face Aziraphale.  There was a hand on his face and a reassuring squeeze of fingers around his.  Crowley kissed him with such tenderness.

That didn’t surprise him; Crowley had always been tender, and kind, and exceptionally adept at being good all while pretending he had demonic motivations.

Aziraphale tipped his head to encourage the kiss, to press back into it.  He turned enough that his neck wasn’t twisted so awkwardly and so he could rest his hand on Crowley’s shoulder.  

“You should stay at my place tonight,” Crowley said again.  

He wanted to, tonight and every night until he was sick of it.  But today wasn’t over and tomorrow would be just as long.  He slid his hand so his fingers were ruffling up the hair at the back of Crowley’s neck.  “I have the last of Agnes Nutter’s prophecies in my pocket.  I think we’ll have to wait just a little longer for that.”  

Crowley took the little slip of paper when Aziraphale pulled it out of his pocket.  He squinted at it through his glasses and then looked sideways at him.  “You have a plan?”

“Oh yes,” Aziraphale said.  “I have a very good plan.”

[idiotboisinlove]

Ineffable Husbands FIC RECS!! from idiotboisinlove

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THESE FICS ARE SOFT AF ooo boi these ones are tender as hell. so gentle and FULL of love.

All I Need, Darling Is A Life In Your Shape by deadgreeks 

Rating:G / Words:14,243

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives. *** this one made my whole heart just explode. very domestic. I had the biggest smile on my face the WHOLE time i was reading it.***

Breathing Space by Jennistar

Rating:T / Words:1,465

“It's just us,” Crowley says, quieter now Aziraphale is looking at him. “Like I said before. There's not really sides anymore. At least for now. And it could be the only chance we ever get. To try it. Just for a bit.” ***theres just something uniquely calming about this one. i love the fact that theres no love confessions? because they both already KNOW of course.***

I Know I’ve Kissed You Before (But I Didn’t Do It Right) by gallantrejoinder

Rating:G / Words:4849

They'd given it a go once. Ages ago. And they'd both agreed it wasn't for them. ***these two are absolute morons and i love them. also im just a sucker for smooches.***

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THROUGH THE AGES / HISTORY FICS i love me a good slowburn and historical AUs that arent even AUs? sign me up. 

An Angel Who Did Not So Much Fall In Love As Settle Into It Gradually by TheLadyZephyr

Rating:G / Words:7,548

The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love. ***this one is just a grade A quality 6000 millennia slow burn.***

The Nice and Accurate Love Story of A.J. Crowley and A.Z. Fell by SealandRocks

Rating:E / Words:16,353

Crowley and Aziraphale have been dancing around each other since the beginning. From Eden to London, it eventually becomes very hard to avoid the only other immortal around. And after so many centuries, having a physically body becomes a bit uncomfortable. Crowley is left to wonder what it is about Aziraphale that helps ease the ache in his soul. It would only take him 6000 years to figure out that it was rooted in something deeper all along. ***this one turns a bit smutty near the end, but the writing is ASTOUNDING. absolutely gorgeous. this writer understands how to use WORDS.***

Something To Do With These Sacred Words by Solshine

Rating:T / Words:11,355

Crowley confesses early, and Crowley confesses often. Aziraphale never knows quite what to say. ***OKAY this one turned me into a freaking puddle. the ending just makes me so warm and soft. so many different ‘i love yous’ ***

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SOME SLIGHTLY SMUTTY FICS FOR THE SAKE OF SMUT i tend to lean towards the softer fics, as i’ve got an ace! headcanon for these two, but there’s definitely some smut that has found its way into my heart.

Always Too Much Thinking by OneofWebs

Rating:E / Words:10,139

Aziraphale is good at many things, one of them is overthinking. He has a complete lack of control of his thoughts, especially when they seem to always revolve around Crowley and all things Crowley could do to him. When Armageddon is finally stopped, and they've found a bit of time, Aziraphale finally finds voice enough to ask for what he wants. Crowley, always enthusiastic, delivers. ***i really like aziraphales internal dialogue, and its PRETTY hot at the end if i do say so myself.***

When In Rome by reserve

Rating:M / Words: 3,242

“Well.” Crowley stood and stretched, looking rather more serpentine than usual. “See you at the orgy then. I’ll look for you by the buffet.” ***what can i say? i was drawn to the dialogue in this one. it feels spot on.***

Get Thee Behind Me Foul Fiend by Princip1914

Rating:M / Words: 5,061

“I’m not kind, I’m terribly wicked.” Crowley’s face is suddenly very close. Aziraphale gulps a little, wondering when exactly the demon slithered so near. “I’ve never seen you be terribly wicked,” Aziraphale breathes. “Prove it.”  ***this one is pretty artfully written. good descriptions, without explicit details. really lets your mind go where YOU want it to.*** 

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MORE!! idk which categories these fit into really, so i just plopped ‘em here.

The Night After the End of the World by CampySpace Slime

Rating:T / Words:4,262

Aziraphale (angel) and Crowley (demon) wait for a bus. ***This one feels rather in character to me? poor crowley doesnt know how to express his feelings.***

Show/Tell by walkalittleline

Rating:M  / Words:3,373

It took Aziraphale approximately five thousand nine hundred and forty-five years—give or take a few months—to fall in love. It didn’t take Crowley nearly as long. ***i really enjoy the progression of this one, and its real cute n whatnot.***

[kuvvydraws]

Gabriel (Good Omens) x Reader

The Chicken That Finally Crossed The Fucking Road

Chapter 1

It was very late in the evening, the stars were all out already and you had chosen to take a stroll through the park to clear your mind. You had heard the rumours of the Saint James’ Park being a spectacle during this time of the year and you had to check. The verdict? You were certainly not disappointed. Not a person in sight, excepting the areas surrounding the lake and the people concerned with feeding those fiery birds swimming in the dark waters. While bodies of water and the amount of ducks that had the tendency to accumulate around them unsettled you to no end -there was something intrinsically evil about birds and no one seemed to notice but you-, the little meandering paths covered in gravel that slid under the shades of the trees were perfect to get lost and enjoy some solitude.

You hadn’t been in London for long, two or three months tops, and it was a city full enough of people and accents to satisfy your need to travel all along Europe at once. You weren’t a very social person per se, and thought that moving to the north, far from your Mediterranean origin, would satisfy your slim no none interaction needs while keeping you interested. Small talk you could deal with, and you had learned to blend in the crowds and disappear. It had worked down to a T at first, but the Mediterranean were stubborn as fuck. You wanted to think you grew used to it, but you didn’t. They wanted to talk, and to touch, and to interact, and to find anyone’s deepest, most well-kept secrets within the very first five minutes after meeting someone. To put it short, they were pushy. Affectionate, warm and welcoming, too. But pushy.

You had to deal with college, finish you studies and get those good grades in your pocket... The usual. But right after that moving out was set must.

Where was cheap enough that a person like you, with only the savings that a lame part time job could offer, could go to and not starve within the week? What was interesting? What was close? What seemed nice? Where could you scape from the overbearing sun of justice and the high temperatures?

The United Kingdom came knocking to your door and you had to open. And it had mostly everything? The currency was different, the weather was the absolutely opposite, and the population had worked very hard through the stereotypes to earn a particularly unpleasant reputation towards foreigners.

You had thought, relieved, that you would be fine. Delusional, was more like it.

You were the new attraction in your building, the shiny, young and clumsy neighbour that couldn’t say two words the exact same way and whose accent tended to dance all over the place before just settling into the traditional American pronunciation that was way easier on the tongue. At least you could get that right most of the time.

One would have thought that your obvious problems with the language would have been detriment enough to be granted mercy by the natives. Some slowness in their speech, a clearer vocalization perhaps. What you got, instead, was a big, fat fuck you.

The British, while nowhere near as irritating in their forwardness as your people, clearly loved their small talk. Your personal nightmare. And now, thanks to the same job that kept you alive and relatively well fed, you had to do it for a living. Being a waitress was... It paid the bills. It did. It was enough, it had to be. It had granted you a small apartment with two rooms, a bathroom, an intimate kitchen, the biggest couch that could fit in the tiniest living room and a large set of windows for people watching.

Although a bit expensive for one person living on their own, you made due. Anything to avoid going back home. It was alright most of the time, you did enjoy your solitude and being bundled up in blankets. And you loved not being supervised constantly by your family, hovering around you and checking, and commenting, and criticising, and demanding... It could drive anyone nuts. You were happy, you had your friends a video-call away and you didn’t have to answers to nobody.

It was great.

It was mostly great.

Even you could get lonely. Even you needed some fresh air. A nice outlet, somewhere to stretch your legs and walk and get some new stimuli that Netflix or a book couldn’t provide. And you have always liked parks.

Like the Saint James’.

That’s what brought you out here.

Basking in the sound of the tiny stones crunching under your soles and the humid smell of the air you wandered into the shadows, avoiding the smooching couples until you found a bench, constructed of uncomfortable, forged iron and facing a cosy square. And there you sat, hands snugged inside the pockets of your wool jacket and content with the quiet atmosphere.

You were fine, and all of the sudden, under no previous alert whatsoever, your head started to hurt, a hammering pain that filled your vision with dark spots and white flashes. Definitely threw you off of your rhythm there. It hurt so much you couldn’t even tell if you were breathing any longer. Your ears rang loudly and your mouth dried, teeth clanking while a too sweet taste found its home in your tongue. You yelped and grunted, holding your hands in front of your eyes and pressing hard, hoping it would made the uncomfortableness go away, and you forced your chest to inhale hard some air.

There was a crack. Then some lightning, curiously curling in the middle of the square form high above. And a strong thud.

And then, right in front of you, sharply dressed in the whitest robe you’ve ever seen, stood a man.

It wasn’t a punishment, they had assured, like, at least five times in a row. The Metatron had been very clear. Insistent, even. An exploratory mission, instead, to learn the reasons and methods of The Traitors to avoid destruction at the hand of the superior forces. He was to be an inside man, discover the secrets humanity was hiding in order to grant immunity to hellfire and holy water and then come back.

They were, quite obviously, avoiding to talk about the big fiasco that the Apocawasn’t had been; swept it under the carpet, hands washed and get out of that mess as fast as you can. No one wanted to dip their feet in those muddy waters, no sir.

The orders had been set and as soon as he had been dismissed, Gabriel had run – this is just a way to speed up the narration, for no one ran in Heaven; there were hoverboards everywhere, and you could walk, fly and even levitate from room to room if you so desired without anyone giving you a second glance, but no running- to get the first body he could find, not even looking what it was dressed like this time, before he was sent down to the middle ground, on Earth.

He was slightly concerned at the beginning since the paperwork to send someone down was always a burden, no matter who the archangel involved was, and he had been told that the mission was a top secret, most delicate operation. When he had voiced his concerns, they had checked the time, an assured him that humans were already guarded in their brick nests for the dark time before they had sent him, and even with that, there was always the possibility of relocating him in a discrete emplacement, protected from prying eyes.

If something was a stand out trait in Gabriel’s personality, it was his faith.

Blind and unquestionable despite the events regarding the Big Plan and the Ineffable Plan and whatnot. He was an angel. He had seen things so wonderful and breath-taking no human, no matter the language, could ever be able to capture in words. Gabriel had absolute faith in the Almighty. She was, after all, his creator and all-knowing, and there was no reason to doubt the information provided.

Where he landed, bare-footed and upright, was a witness though. The creature -the human, he corrected himself- was covering its face with its hands and its body was curled up, with the knees near the torso, and whined in a low, suffering pitch. What a lucky angel he was.

Gabriel couldn’t be bothered by this and stretched the borrowed body, ready to leave the pitiful mortal to its luck; however, he hadn’t taken a step yet when he felt a cold rush of air go through his body that left him trembling and weak. A voice, familiar in its detachment, inserted itself inside his head.

“We forgot” said the Metatron, tone assertive but neutral “, it is imperative that we follow the same procedures the target entities did, so there will be no need for your powers to be put at use.”

Gabriel’s veins shone brightly in a gold hue and soft sparkles left the tips of his fingers. He had an idea of what was happening and didn’t like it one bit. He fisted his hands hard, digging the nails in the palms, hoping to keep some magical capability trapped in the flesh. He realised, with a shaky breath and trembling arms, that he was scared. Gabriel feared no human, for he was an archangel, and his strength and value didn’t come from his ability to perform magic. But, without barely any notice, Heaven has taken away his only channel to contact them.

His vision twinkled, and he tried to force his eyelids to stay open. His body twitched, his knees buckled. He patted himself, trying to get his bearings; he could feel some divine presence inside him still. He could still perform miracles. He could at least survive. Somehow.

He could manage. If the Traitor Aziraphale had been able to live for six thousand years here on Earth without requesting once a lick of assistance from Heaven, then so could he. He was freaking going to.

Gabriel was alone for the first time in his existence. No Sandalphon to assist him, no Michael to softly point him in the right direction when in doubt, no Uriel to soothe him with confident words.

Gabriel was alone, and weak, almost powerless, and didn’t have a fucking clue on where to start. His situation should be of greater concern, he thought to himself, eyes fluttering closed, his breathing ragged. But, right now, as he felt the dull thuds that running boots approaching his form made on the ground, that concern belonged to future Gabriel.

He was so tired.

You heard some metallic fumbling, light stuff clicking, and tried to rub your eyes. A hand held your forearm, and it was covered with a plastic glove. Everything smelled sterile yet chemical and it was sickening. You were in a hospital. You knew. The bed was made with tuckered straw, the sheets raspy and the light dim due to a faded drape someone had tried to move to cover the window. At least, the glass was spotless.

With a grunt, the nurse helped you incorporate, face adorned with a polite and careless smile. After getting a confirmation on your name, address and general data as well as how you had ended in the country and at that bloody park, he saw precedent to inform you of how you had arrived to that too white room while adjusting the via that travelled up from a bag of intravenous serum to the crook of your elbow.

“Someone saw the man in the robe, there at the St. James, just collapsed on the floor” he chattered, pointing left towards the colourless curtain that divided the room in two halves “. Hard not to, though; he’s massive. Anyway, how do you feel now? You were unconscious too, over at a bench close to him. The people that called the ambulance thought you two where together, I believe?”

He had a foxy smile now, and while his intentions were good, you are positive, his accent was giving you a headache. He wasn’t British either, and you were struggling to follow his speech, thus getting more and more frustrated with everything.

You cringed, brushing the awful hospital gown they had dressed you with your fingers, and tried not no frown at the nurse guy. “That’s- Listen, I don’t know no man with a dress or whatever. My head just started hurting real bad and I guess I lost it or something. Consciousness, I mean. I’m not crazy or anything. Did you- There must be some tests I can- To check if I’m going to be okay, you know?”

He patted your arm gently again. “We already checked and everything is A-okay, you just had a really bad episode of low pressure blood. You have been here the whole night, monitored” he pointed at a few beeping machines at the side “, so we could make sure that it was just an sporadic event and nothing serious. It was the first time it happened to you, I presume?” You nodded and so did he, reaching a board that hung at the front of your bed and writing something down. “I guess it does not run in the family either? Have you been eating correctly? Stress due to work?”

You answered his questions, tired and hungry. “They people that brought the man and me here... Are they still around? I want to thank them if possible-”

“Sorry, they left right after the ambulance picked you guys up.” He clapped his hands softly “. I have to keep up with my rounds” he said “, but don’t worry, I’ll leave you here with Mr. Tall and Handsome. Maybe you two can figure out what’s going on.” He moved the curtain, and waved at you, half-body already out of the door “. In a few minutes, someone will come and bring you food. We need you well nourished! If your condition doesn’t worsen, you will be discharged this evening.”

And the door clicked shut. About half an hour later, another nurse came by, gave you a metallic tray with what she said was food and busied herself checking out the man on the other bed. You were sure there was no medical reason that could justify her rubbing his arms that much. When you where done, read: you couldn’t choke down any more of that glorified pile of sludge, the nurse freed you with a painful yank from the via in your arm and left you alone to watch the paint in the ceiling peel off by itself.

There was no clock in the room and you were going insane. It’s been hours, you were sure, but the daylight in London was a scam and whatever could penetrate the rag at the window told you nothing.

You had had enough time to think about him -the unconscious man laying on that other lame bed- and to observe him while he slept, no creeping intended. You just didn’t have anything else to do. Square jaw, clean and shaved face, short hair and a body well built, the only thing that proved you he didn’t have his shit put together as well as he would have liked was his expression. The eyes were hollow and with deep, dark bags underneath, and his lips were settled in an uncomfortable grimace. He had the appearance any successful CEO would have, not counting the Hollywood ones.

Yet he had something. Something you couldn’t point. A feeling that he was too... much? Better. Warmer. Just higher? It was the same feeling you got when you looked down from a too high place, you could see everything, you had access to anything, and yet you knew you shouldn’t be there.

He grunted and his eyelids twitched, and you pressed the button to call the staff so a nurse could take care of him.

The next twenty minutes were difficult for everyone. The guy refused to give his full name no matter what the nurse said. He squinted at everything, glared down at any gestures or approaches the staff would make to his via and tensed visibly when anyone got too close to his personal bubble. His voice was polite yet clipped, and he was being unreasonably uncooperative.

The few things he said came from the mouth of the stereotyped, insufferable boss that always knew better. He was massive alright, you thought, a massive dick. He was frowning the same way a man that didn’t like to do did, and then, by accident, his eyes met yours. It was only a second and then he was back to his silent treatment for the nurses. You scrunched your face and looked away reluctantly.

The bastard had the most gorgeous pair of eyes you had seen in your entire life. And he was hot. And the nurse from before was right about his arms. His arms were very nice.

Not soon enough, the room cleared, one of the three nurses that had ended in the previous mess handling the man, in a very unprofessional way, a tray with the same food you had been given.

He cranked his neck and it popped, and he grunted again, eyes still fixed at the door.

You clicked you tongue, looking in the same direction. “It can be hard, being hovered over like that. Not everybody likes it, but nurses can be a bit too stubborn.”

Gabriel didn’t answer to no authority but God’s. Those mortals -those humans- thought they could put him in a sinking surface and stab him and then try to gather information from him? Tough luck. They were close, too close, and he really didn’t want to react in a way that could harm them, but they needed to step away. Now.

Gabriel was a social butterfly. He was a big fish up in Heaven. There were always angels around him, listening to his words, answering to him, asking him questions. He was one of God’s best archangels, and he was nurturing and caring by nature.

He loved. He loved a lot, in general.

And he was soft; he meant no harm to any creature, for all of them were God’s work -the Apocawasn’t was a different thing, there were categories and obviously humans weren’t a priority in that topic. But he loved humans nonetheless. The same way one would love a fish in the ocean, or a fly, or a rooting cactus.

Yet those humans dressed in blue sacks were worthy of less and less love by the second.

Then you spoke. And you where right. He glanced at you, recognized you from the park and curled his mouth in a displeased gesture when his body protested at the general movement that was going on. You gave him a sympathetic smile when he looked down to that metallic thing that had been throw at him. There was a blob in there made of unidentified matter.

“It’s gross” you said as a warning, half laughing but with a lot of feeling.

“It does look outstandingly gross.”

Gabriel didn’t do well with food. Just thinking about the process made him nauseous. All that chewing and swallowing... and the expulsion bit was stomach-lurching. It was so unnecessary. Humans were disgusting. And now he needed it, because his body had lost almost all its connection with Heaven and the only other way to nourish it was this... This.

You cleared you throat and he fixed his eyes again on you. You pointed at the plastic tube that connected his arm to a bag of clear liquid. “They had us fed with the serum so you can probably hold up for a few more hours until you find something better.”

You smiled again and Gabriel felt a bit better. Smiles, he could handle. He smiled back, putting the tray away, trying very hard not to look at it. “So, do you recall anything about what happened? How were we transported to this location? Do you have access to that information?”

You face lit up a second too late. And then you emitted a soft, thrilled sound. “God! You are Heaven sent!”

Gabriel stopped breathing.

No.

Fuck no.

No, no, no, no. No. Come on. He couldn’t have blown it up just yet! He had done the ‘stopping by the Earth to say hi’ thing for years now! How, in the name of the Almighty, had you-!

“I beg your pardon?” He articulated through gritted teeth, trying his hardest not to change his facial expression or show any kind of tell with his body language. Come on, you were a human, you were as stupid as they come!

“Your accent!” You were giddy and it was sending the archangel mixed signals. You were not freaking out, which was good, but had totally obliterated his purpose on Earth, which was, well, terrible. “You are not from here, are you?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more precise.”

“Are you not from the States? I-” You hesitated and Gabriel saw his chance “. I thought you could be from there, you know? Sorry if I...”

"Do not apologize. It is far from here, but no one had pointed it out to me just yet. You are certainly right, of course.” This was more like it, with situations like this Gabriel could cope. It was ok, everything was ok. His cover was still up, and now he, master of improvisation, had made an ally. What a dull creature you were, but with so much potential!

And then you started asking questions. Gabriel beamed, he loved questions; he loved proving how useful he actually was, how accurate was God when he created him, how ready he was to fulfil his place and role in the Great Scheme. And you weren’t like those blue sack-nurse people, you were asking, not questioning. You weren’t doubting him. And you smiled. Smiles were always good, always a bonus.

You started asking him about his job, about it being a business, a big company. He said yes. Then you started talking about his family, which he didn’t have; his name, which he gave to you; his purpose in the city... And before he could answer you made a very curious noise.

You snorted. “Ah, I bet you could be part of one of those Reality TV shows where a rich CEO learns how to live the live of us poor commoners! You know, left to your luck to survive and wander around as lost as an octopus in a garage!”

You laughed, very hard. Gabriel started sweating.

“What if I told you” Gabriel licked his lips and tested his luck “that you are correct.”

You snorted again “. Yeah, alright. You won’t get me with that one, man. I’m not that dumb.”

He made a conciliatory gesture with his hands, open and with the palms facing you: no truth to hide, as humans assumed. How simple.

“You are free to believe what you desire. On another note, do you perhaps possess a nest?”

“A what?”

“A nest” he repeated kindly, not bothered for a second “. You are human, yes?”

“Yeah, been for a while.”

“You humans nest during the night, yes? As far as I know, they are made of bricks... A place of residence. Do you possess a place of residence?”

“Are you talking about houses?” Gabriel nodded towards you eagerly “. Yes, I do? An apartment, actually.”

“Fantastic.”

[dwarven-beard-spores]

26 from the quote ask thingy with nanny Crowley and gardener Aziraphale because I neeeeeeed

Why thank you! I feel as though this one got a bit out of hand, but I made it to the smooches eventually, and I think it all works out.

The rest of the series, can be found together as Make A Life Worth Living on AO3

Every Thursday morning, before the sun was up, Brother Francis would step out into the Dowling’s garden, nod as though he’d done something, and leave a note to remind the rest of the staff that it was his day off. For some reason, no one could ever remember his schedule. He would leave through the front gate and walk quietly down the road to the bus stop, a mile or so away. It was time to think, he said, on the rare occasion when someone offered him a lift. He just wanted to walk through the sunrise and think.

About an hour later, every Thursday, Nanny Ashtoreth would wake inside the house, check on sleeping Warlock, and hiss quiet advice to Ms. Dowling as to how the child had been getting on. Then she would pick up her umbrella and carpetbag and walk out the front gate and down the road away from town, in the opposite direction of the bus stop. She was an ominous blot on the vaguely pastoral, somewhat developed area, and her shoes clacked loudly whether she was walking on concrete, or a dirt road, or on the grass. In the year and a half she’d been with the family, no one had managed to find out where she went. No one had felt inclined to try very hard. 

By this time, Brother Francis would be standing beside the bus stop, waving away each of the two busses that came by at this time on a Thursday. He entertained himself by doing small acts of kindness for the driver and the passengers, because that was the sort of person he was, and small acts of malice, because Nanny Ashtoreth rarely encountered anyone on such mornings and it was good to keep things balanced.

About half an hour after Nanny Ashtoreth had left the Dowling’s house, an old black Bentley drove past the front drive. It shone like new despite having spent the past week hidden in a conveniently large shrub, and no one knew who it belonged to. Not that they’d tried very hard to find out.

Ten minutes after that, the Bentley pulled up to the bus stop, the passenger door cracked open, and Crowley said “get in, Angel,” as Aziraphale said “good morning, Dear.”

This particular Thursday happened to be in early of August, and it was already uncomfortably warm. Aziraphale wiped a bead of sweat off his neck. He preferred to sweat, on principle, though if the summer kept on the way it had been going he would be sorely tempted to change his mind. Crowley did not sweat, and Aziraphale was unsure if that was because she chose not to, or it hadn’t occurred to her, or perhaps, being a serpent, she was physically unable to. He didn’t ask.

“Breakfast?” Crowley asked, as always. As always, the answer was yes, and Crowley adjusted course for an outdoor café that served marvelous scones.

“Have you noticed anything, you know, occult about the boy?” Aziraphale asked, thinking it better to get the worst out of the way first. As always, the answer was no.

For all its features, the one thing the Bentley didn’t have was a strong air conditioning system. Aziraphale rolled down the window partway, but had to roll it up again when Crowley picked up speed. He miracled the air around him a few degrees cooler and turned slightly to watch Crowley as she drove. Everything about her was sort of desperately severe, from the tight bun of her hair to the furrow in her forehead to the purse of her mouth and the tight stillness of her hands on the steering wheel. He thought about putting one of his hands over hers, for comfort or to reassure himself of… something, but wasn’t sure if she’d allow it. She’d been particularly aloof recently.

Accounts of Warlock’s weekly developments carried them the rest of the way to the café and halfway through breakfast, with both beings trying to focus so that they might spend the afternoon and evening really enjoying themselves. 

Then, “we’re going to the zoo on Tuesday,” Crowley said, pushing things forward a bit. She sipped her tea primly. The cup gave a sharp clink when she set it back in its saucer. “You ought to meet us there.” 

Aziraphale ate a scone. “Why the zoo?” he asked, though he was distracted by the subtle way Crowley rolled her shoulders and winced. 

For millennia, Crowley’s spine had naturally assumed a snakey, almost boneless quality that, when she was relaxed, manifested in all manner of slouching, slinking, and draping herself over furniture. Now, Crowley normally held it to nearly human standards until it was time to get comfortable, but Nanny Ashtoreth was perpetually rigid as though she’d been built around a ruler. It looked… uncomfortable.

“It’s the sort of thing one does with children,” Crowley said. “Mr. Dowling is hosting a luncheon for some very important people, and it has been suggested that Warlock and I make ourselves scarce.” The lift of her eyebrows indicated that it was a bit more than a suggestion, and also that she found the whole thing rather ridiculous. “I don’t know what he’s worried about. He hardly sees either of us as it is, and children make excellent conversation pieces.”

“Mmm,” said Aziraphale. He ate another scone and decided now was not the time to address Crowley’s issues with the Dowlings’ parenting strategy. He was not particularly partial to zoos, but it would be nice to get out for the day, and having the particulars of his work schedule slip people’s minds was very easy indeed. “Shall I meet you at the bus stop, then?”

“I don’t think so,” Crowley said. “You’d better meet us there. By the giraffes, perhaps? They’d be a bad example for the boy. They’re selfish and malicious, you can see it in their eyes.”

“That’s hardly true, Dear. They’re kind and—”

“And absurd.”

“Ineffable,” Aziraphale said, holding back his smile until Crowley scoffed. “But what do you mean I ought to meet you there? We’re coming from the same place, aren’t we? The Dowlings won’t be any the wiser, and it’s not as though Warlock will mind. He’s quite fond of me you know.”

Meeting at the bus stop on their days off had been Crowley’s idea, because she didn’t fancy the Dowlings thinking that Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis were working together, or being intimate together, or even knew each other beyond the limits of their jobs. Aziraphale had agreed because it was more practical to play it safe than to alter the family’s memories if they got upset, and because it reminded him, in a way, of the care they’d taken in the days when the Arrangement was young and seemed far riskier than it had turned out to be.

“It’s not about what he minds,” Crowley said. “It’s about what he thinks. And Ms. Ashtoreth is not the sort of woman who picks up male company in secret. She might accept chance companionship during an outing, though, which is why you’ve got to meet us there and pretend you knew nothing about it.”

Aziraphale mulled over this as he finished his tea. “But surely,” he said. “Warlock won’t know the difference.”

“You can’t be sure of that,” Crowley said. “And at any rate, I will. Ms. Ashtoreth is not a reckless woman. Nor is she a friendly one.”

“No,” Aziraphale agreed.

“She carries the secret sadness of family estrangement and heartbreak, which have made her bitter,” Crowley explained, sounding more and more like Ms. Ashtoreth with every word. “She trusts only herself to protect and corrupt the child in her care. It doesn’t matter if she thinks Francis is resoundingly homosexual, she doesn’t trust him enough to scoop him off the side of the road.”

“Dear, it’s really just you and me,” Aziraphale said weakly, wondering when that had stopped being true.

“It’s just you,” Crowley corrected, her voice sharp, brittle, and suddenly her own again. “You always manage to just be yourself, but with roses instead of books and disappearing around the side of the house instead of closing your shop, and they believe you.”

“That’s not entirely accurate,” Aziraphale protested, this being easier to address then the vague unease Crowley’s plan had sparked in him. “I’ve spent rather a lot of effort on the details of appearing human, the hobbies and the sweat and so forth. I just don’t bother to completely change my character every time.”

“You see, that wouldn’t work for me,” Crowley said. “And it’s too late to change it now, anyway.” 

They finished their breakfast in silence. Crowley was very stiff and controlled, and Aziraphale felt as though she were very far away. Without warning, she stood and placed a neatly folded stack of money on the table to pay their bill. Aziraphale tucked the last scone in his pocket then followed her to the car. 

Before she opened the door, Aziraphale finally chanced it and put a hand on her shoulder. Crowley stiffened, then let out a breath. A small amount of her tension went with it, and she placed her own hand over Aziraphale’s.

“Crowley,” he said. “I can play along. But I wonder if you’re…. getting lost, rather.”

“I can let it down with you,” she said. “Sort of. But around any of them, even Warlock, especially Warlock… I can’t.”

“You’ve barely let it down today at all,” Aziraphale pointed out. “Hardly for the past month.”

“Oh,” said Crowley. She licked her lips in a very Crowley way, forked tongue and everything.

“I think I understand if it’s easier that way,” Aziraphale said. “Pretending you don’t know me. Especially if Ashtoreth doesn’t know about, well, you know, but, er.”

“Angel.”

“You’re the one who talked me into this, after all, and if you must stay in character, then perhaps we could at least—”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley said, turning to face him. She hesitated a moment. “Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Ah,” said Aziraphale, surprised. “Are you sure?”

Crowley nodded, so he did.

Crowley’s lips were tense and tasted like lavender tea and Aziraphale kissed them gently once, twice, again, before Crowley stuck her hand in his hair and pulled him into something deeper with a lot more tongue. There was something desperate in the way she kissed, both delighted and frantic. It had been a long time since they’d kissed like this, but both of them remembered the way.

Aziraphale’s hands drifted to her back, holding her close as her rigid posture relaxed into a curve that used every one of her many vertebrae. He continued to hold her as they broke out of the kiss and she rested her forehead on his shoulder.

Aziraphale couldn’t hold back his smile. “I thought Ms. Ashtoreth wasn’t the sort who did things like that,” he murmured.

Crowley sighed into his shoulder. “That wasn’t her.”

Aziraphale chuckled and ran his hands down her back. “Good morning, my dear.”

He held her a moment longer, before Crowley stepped away and leaned back on the car, crossing her arms and looking very much not a proper nanny. “I’m glad we got to do that again before. Ah. You know.”

“Ah. Yes. Quite.” Aziraphale found he had nothing to do with his hands, and also that they were sweaty. He wiped them on his trousers.

For several minutes, nobody did anything. Aziraphale turned over thoughts about potentially kissing Crowley again, before he decided it was too soon to ask.

“I’ll meet you at the zoo,” he said at last. “No trouble, really. By the giraffes, you said?”

“Tuesday,” Crowley agreed. She stood up and opened the Bentley door. “Where was it you wanted to go today? Art gallery?”

“Anywhere besides the zoo,” Aziraphale said as he climbed in the other side of the car. 

When Crowley pulled away, only one hand was tight around the wheel. Aziraphale was holding the other.

[ineffablefool]

I really appreciate the way you portray realistic, loving asexual relationships. I'm in the "neutral" camp myself, like some of your Aziraphales, and it's so comforting to see people like me in loving in intimate, deeply romantic ways. In your stories, asexuality is never a barrier between The Boys or something that detracts from their relationship; it never prevents them from being in love and being attracted to each other. (1/3)

Asexual people being aesthetically attracted to each other's bodies is something I rarely see in any media, not just fanfiction, yet... that's a detail I see again and again in your works, and you write it so perfectly. Your stories hit all the right points, every time! I hate the stereotype that we're robots or we can't love (or that we can't appreciate a pretty human, or enjoy the more sensual side of things, or whatever, you name it).  (2/3)

But as soon as I set foot in the Soft Zone, my crops are watered and my bills are paid. I love it there. I'm considering moving in. Thank you so, so much for building that world.

Thank you <3

The thing is, I’m just writing, as honestly as I can, how I personally feel, and what I would want out of a romantic relationship.  I wouldn’t want asexuality (especially sex-repulsed asexuality) to be a barrier, so it isn’t; I don’t understand why it would prevent someone from feeling non-sexual attraction, so it doesn’t.  My ace little heart contains an extremely large amount of “oh oh look pretty human pretty human aaaaa want to smooch” sentiment, even if it doesn’t find a specific target very often.  Right now fanfic is my only place for expressing that, so it kind of... spills out all over the place.  you guys i am so utterly in love with Aziraphale please nobody tell Crowley

There is a large amount of loving aceness in the works of AO3 users hope_in_the_dark, 5ftjewishcactus, and Depressedstressedlemonzest, for the record.  And there’s others, but those three were the first to come to mind in terms of sheer quantity/proportion of romantic asexual content.  (I’m pretty sure we all write 100% ace stuff?  I’m too sleepy to comb back through everyone’s works to commit to that statement.)

There is of course also wonderful aroace content out there, too, loving relationships between an Aziraphale and a Crowley who have neither sexual nor romantic feelings toward each other, but... that’s not what I personally gravitate toward, so I haven’t read a whole lot of it.  (The most recent thing I read which had a non-romantic, non-sexual, deeply caring relationship between the boys was Kedreeva’s Siren’s Song, and it is one of two fanfics I’ve read where the ending touched me deeply enough to make me cry.)  (the other was one of Hope’s hi ilu Hope <3 )

You are welcome to move into the Soft Zone, if you see fit.  There is always room for everyone who appreciates its ideals. <3