#no way ghost is going lets be real | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carpe-mamilia · 11 months

Text

Ghosts’ Larry Rickard Explains Why They Chose the Captain’s First Name

Photo: Monumental,Guido Mandozzi

It couldn’t be a joke. That was one rule laid down by the Ghosts creators when it came to choosing a first name for Willbond’s character. Until series five, the WWII ghost had been known only as The Captain – a mystery seized upon by fans of the show.

“It was the question we got asked more than anything. His name,” actor and writer Larry Rickard tells Den of Geek. “Once we got to series three, you could see that we were deliberately cutting away and deliberately avoiding it. We were fuelling the fire because we knew at some point we’d tell them.”

In “Carpe Diem”, the episode written by Rickard and Ben Willbond that finally reveals The Captain’s death story, they did tell us. After years of guessing, clue-spotting and debate, Ghosts revealed that The Captain’s first name is James. At the same time, we also learned that James’ colleague Lieutenant Havers’ first name was Anthony.

The ordinariness of those two names, says Rickard, is the point.

“The only thing we were really clear about is that we didn’t want one of those names that only exists in tellyland. It shouldn’t be ‘Cormoran’ or ‘Endeavour’. They should just be some men’s names and they’re important to them. The point was that they were everyday.”

Choosing first names for The Captain and Havers was a long process not unlike naming a baby, Rickard agrees. “It almost comes down to looking at the faces of the characters and saying, what’s right?”

“We talked for ages. For a long time I kept thinking ‘Duncan and James’, and then I was like ah no! That would have turned it into a gag and been awful!” Inescapably in the minds of a certain generation, Duncan James is a member of noughties boyband Blue. “Maybe with Anthony I was thinking of Anthony Costa!” Rickard says in mock horror, referencing another member of the band.

Lieutenant Havers wasn’t just The Captain’s second in command while stationed at Button House; he was also the man James loved. Because homosexuality was criminalised in England during James’ lifetime, he was forced to hide his feelings for Anthony from society, and to some extent even from himself.

In “Carpe Diem”, the ghosts (mistakenly) prepare for the last day of their afterlives, prompting The Captain to finally tell his story. Though not explicit about his sexual identity, the others understand and accept what he tells them – and led by Lady Button, all agree that he’s a brave man.

Getting the balance right of what The Captain does and doesn’t say was key to the episode. “It wasn’t just a personal choice of his to go ‘I’m going to remain in the closet’,” explains Rickard. “There wasn’t an option there to explore the things that either of them felt. That couldn’t be done back then – there are so many stories which have come out since the War about the dangers of doing that.

“We wanted to tell his personal story but also try to ensure that there was a level at which you understood why they couldn’t be open, that even in this moment where he’s finally telling the other ghosts his story, he never comes out and says it overtly because that would be too much for him as a character from that time.

“He says enough for them to know, and enough for him to feel unburdened but it’s in the fact that they’re using their first names which militarily they would never have done, and in the literal passing of the baton”.

The baton is a bonus reveal when fans learned that The Captain’s military stick wasn’t a memento of his career, but of Havers. As James suffers a fatal heart attack during a VE day celebration at Button House, Anthony rushes to his side and the stick passes from one to the other as they share a moment of tragic understanding.

“From really early on, we had the idea that anything you’re holding [when you die] stays with you. So it wasn’t just your clothes you were wearing, we had the stuff with Thomas’ letter reappearing in his pocket and so on. And the assumption being that it was something The Captain couldn’t put down, it felt so nice to be able to say it was something he didn’t want to put down.”

Rickard lists “Carpe Diem”, co-written with Ben Willbond, among his series five highlights. He’s pleased with the end result, praises Willbond’s performance, and loved being on set to see Button House dressed for the 1940s. He’s particularly pleased that a checklist of moments they wanted to land with the audience all managed to be included. “Normally something’s fallen by the wayside just because of the way TV’s made, it’s always imperfect or it’s slightly rushed, but it feels like it’s all there.”

Rickard and Willbond also knew by this point in the show’s lifetime, that they could trust Ghosts fans to pick up on small details. “Nothing is missed,” he says. “Early on, you’re always thinking, is that going to get across? But once we got to series five, there are little tiny things within corners of shots and you know that’s going to be spotted. Particularly in that very short exchange between Havers and the Captain. We worried less about the minutiae of it because you go, that’s going to be rewound and rewatched, nothing will be missed.”

The team were also grateful they’d resisted the temptation to tell The Captain’s story sooner. “We’d talked about it every series since series two, whether or not now was the time, but because he’s such a hard and starchy character in a lot of ways you needed the time to understand his softer side I think before you had that final honest beat from him.”

“What a ridiculously normal name to have so much weight put on it for five years,” laughs Rickard fondly. “Good old James.”

From Den of Geek

#bbc ghosts #bless you larry for doing all these den of geek interviews #I wonder if they just did one marathon session with him #inside ghosts was kind of disappointing this week #I guess Ben just wants to let the episode speak for itself and you're like yes but I would like to hear you talk about every detail #trust me we will be interested #long post #I really thought they loved the joke of nearly saying the Captain’s name so much that they'd never reveal it #so it's so lovely that they were like no this is not a joke name; he's a real man with an ordinary name #and we are going to tell you that in the most devastatingly romantic way #I am eating my words and they are delicious with that spread on top #also 'that's going to be rewound and rewatched' = 'I know you people are loopy so here is content specifically for you'#bbc ghosts spoilers

923 notes · View notes

s0fter-sin · 4 months

Text

punk!soap metalhead!ghost brain blast!!!

ghost trying so hard to get soap out of the bad parts of the scene bc he's starting to get pulled in by the shadows, a group of wannabe anarchists that stand for nothing except themselves, but soap loses his shit; laying into ghost for daring to try and "save" him

no one's ever been there for him when he needed them; no one ever offered him support or a soft place to land, why the hell would he want ghost's help when he's perfectly fine on his own? (when he’s always had to be?)

"you think i can't make my own decisions? well fuck you, ghost, who needs a washed up piece o’ shite like you!"

he doesn’t talk to ghost for days, doesn’t let himself acknowledge the hole he’s left behind until he's getting pissed with the shadows one night in an abandoned house and graves starts waving around the gun he snuck through customs and it accidentally goes off, grazing soap's temple

he's never heard anything so loud, even at all the shows he’s attended and there’s so much blood; it's getting in his eyes, running down his neck and soaking into his clothes and he’s frozen. graves and all his shadows bolt after hearing the gunshot, worried about cops finding them and they leave him there; staring at the growing puddle at his feet

soap's panicking; half-blind, blistering pain lighting up his head and he can't think about anything beyond how much he wants ghost

ghost's been sulking at his flat since soap blew him off; pissed at soap for going off on him when he just wants to help but still worried about the punk. he doesn’t want him going down the same road as him; doesn’t want him to repeat his mistakes when he could save himself so much suffering and he almost doesn't answer his phone when it buzzes on the couch

he lets out a ragged sigh as he picks it up; raking a hand over his shaved head when he sees the bubble emoji and contemplates letting it ring out. contemplates answering with a growl; something a younger, crueler version of him would spit. in the end, he decides on silence and puts the phone to his ear just before it can stop ringing

he almost breaks it when he hears soap choke out, "i've been shot."

he's out the door in a heartbeat, running down the stairs because the lift is too slow; trying to get more information out of him but he can't get anything out beyond a repeated, "i've been shot."

he breaks every law there is as he speeds to soap's location; visions of his cold, bloodless corpse staining his mind's eye. the only thing keeping him calm are the strangled breaths from the other end of the line; he's not dead, he can work with not dead, this isn't tommy, soap won't end up like tommy-

ghost screeches to a halt outside a random alley and throws himself from the car when he sees soap collapsed against a garbage bin. he's covered in blood, soaked, just like that night, it's everywhere and he's not moving, he's not moving-

“johnny!”

he skids to his knees and fits his hand under his chin to check his pulse… but his heart beats strong under his fingertips and soap's eyes flutter open; flooded with blood but conscious and alive

the second he registers ghost in front of him, he’s reaching out for him; babbling apologies over and over, "you were right, i'm sorry ghost, i should've listened; i'm sorry, i'm so sorry."

ghost just gently hushes him, cupping his face heedless of the blood. "that doesn't matter now, johnny. we're gonna get you all fixed up, yeah?"

soap’s hands fist in his shirt, clinging to him. "i got shot, ghost," he says again; lost and smaller than he's ever heard from his punk and it's been years since he's felt this kind of rage but he doesn't let a drop of it touch his voice

“i know, lad. i know. gonna let me take a look at it? make it right?"

soap finally nods, his stuttering apologies coming to a halt and ghost runs back to his car to get a towel. he presses it to soap's skin, trying to soak up as much as he can so he can get a proper look; cooing assurances as soap absently hisses in pain the closer he gets to it

it's only a graze and something in his chest unravels; old fears and grief settling as the shallow wound continues to gush into the towel

ghost slumps, pressing his forehead into the top of soap's head and takes a second to just breathe. “‘s’alright, johnny; it’s not even that bad, not even that bad,” he promises, low; spoken more to himself than soap

his hand starts to grow damp and he forces himself to his feet, gathering up soap and getting him into his car. he puts the towel in his hand and presses it against the wound, trying to coax him through his shock to put pressure on it so he can drive

soap curls up in the passenger seat; eyes distant, seeing nothing and ghost has to tighten his grip on the steering wheel so he doesn't turn around

soap is the priority

he has to get him home; has to get him cleaned up and safe

then he can go hunting for the gutless shadow that hurt his punk

#this was just me wanting to give soap his post mw3 head scar ngl #tw implied past suicide #god if soap gets real mean with it. 'you dont give a shite about me! this is just you trying to save your stupid brother!#well guess what ghost?! hes fucking dead and smothering me aint gonna bring him back!’#and its the only thing he couldve said that would make ghost let him walk out the door #ghosts been here before. he knows how impossible it is to help someone that doesnt want to be helped but he cant let soap go #he cant go down that road again. cant let it be just to walk into soaps flat one day and find him in a bloodsoaked bathtub #when soap comes out of his shock he finds ghost slowly and methodically cleaning his leather jacket #hes trying hard to remain calm and clearheaded #trying not to fall back into old habits #but theres a reason hes called ghost #bc the second he stops looking after soap is the second he storms out to find graves and wring his neck #soap pushes back so hard against ghost trying to help him bc in his head being ‘saved’ or ‘better’ means being changed #bc the only help hes ever experienced has been conditional. ‘we will help you if you go to college. if you stop art.#if you change your entire being’#he cant process that ghost wants him the exact way that he is bc no one ever has #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #soap cod #john soap mactavish #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #save post

71 notes · View notes

angelsdean · 1 year

Text

me, dean, and everyone else watching: ok sure, sammy

#vics spn rewatch #spn 1x10 #the apology is made worse by j*red's inability to actually sound sincere #he's doing his fake sympathy voice and it is so. grating #adds a fascinating unintentional layer to sam as we've talked abt before #and it's like not necessarily a Bad thing to perform rather than feel sympathy #but like. this is very much a non-apology and dean knows it and we all know it #sam DID mean those things on some level. maybe not as harshly as he said them bc his anger WAS being heightened by the ghost #but those feelings were real #and sam is allowed to feel them. but they are in many ways. a projection and also unfounded #sam literally could leave at any time and dean would let him go (as we'll see in thee very next episode!!)#just bc he feels those feelings doesn't mean they're inherently true #dean isn't keeping him trapped. dean isn't just blindly following orders. dean Does have a mind of his own #and in fact dean isn't being all that great of a dutiful son bc he actively is not all that interested in finding john!! not the way sam is #and you'd think for dean being the one to initially show up and ask sam's help that he'd be more invested in finding john #and making sure he's actually alive instead of following random coordinates to a case. and taking on every other case they find too #anyways. sam's feelings of anger are real bc he feels them and it's okay to feel things #but he's massively misinterpreting and projecting things onto dean #and then he feels guilty (like post-possession) and tries to swipe it all under the rug and claim he didn't mean any of it #but he Does. and dean knows it. everyone knows it.#his perceptions do not align w/ what's really happening. bc he doesn't have the full context.#bc he doesn't know just how complicated dean's relationship to john really is. bc he was sheltered from a lot of that.#he sees dean desperate for approval and a good little soldier #when in reality dean was playing peacekeeper and mediator and punching bag most of their childhood.#and rn dean doesn't really care that much abt finding john. he just wants to hang out with his brother #not samcr*t btw. we love all this abt him it's spicy it's crunchy it's tasty

171 notes · View notes

mulders-too-large-shirt · 3 months

Text

s2 episode 22 thoughts

i am actually the bravest human alive for surviving this episode

(lmao i joke. MOSTLY. but op lore: i suffer from a chronic illness that gives me terrible nausea and MAN this was NOT the episode you want to sit down and unwind with if you’re feeling ill. for the plague be upon them all. and yet! here we are. my love for these agents must be quite boundless.)

“diseaseee episode… okay so it is probably body horror time maybe idk” <- first thing in my notes, and yes. yes, it was body horror time.

(we open with a fellow in the rainforest catching bugs) and to me it’s giving “he was in the amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died” which was such a funny meme. we moved on from this too quickly. those words will always make me giggle.

that is a turkey vulture… do they have those in Costa Rica? yes they do! wow, bird facts <3

ohh nasty, we see a dead hog in the rainforest, being consumed by bugs… bug scientist takes some of them while it pulsates… and my nausea strikes!!!

AUGHHH the boil blew up on his face. this is eeeeevil!! i was diverting my attention AWAY from the screen at this point and really staring at my notes in the hope they could shield me from the nastiness

NOOOO now the bug scientist’s face is covered in the boils… the vultures got him and so did the bugs, and i am getting the impression this is gonna be a tough watch, but i’m in too far now!!!! (it had been like. 5 minutes lmao but i meant it!)

scene change: prison time.

(is this the outside of the prison they used to film the Please Please Please music video or do they all just look the same?)

a prisoner has been sent a package. it is…. some kind of meat??? can you send meat in the mail…? just wrapped up in newspaper? i find this hard to believe, but maybe things were different in the 90’s, or we can suspend disbelief for the sake of the alien show

the meat is pulsating and now the prisoner who received it has the same boils…… deeply unfortunate for all parties involved

and now boil disease is spreading in the prison!! two guards escaped on a cart carrying the infected man's dirty sheets. so they are pretty much gonna die. but will they spread the sickness to the outside world before they do so?

enter our agents!!

this dude who claims to be in charge is a real jerk. and the agents don’t even know why they got sent there beyond to help with a manhunt, which seems beneath them. but there are some people in hazmat suits, so it’s not adding up.

the convicts are hiding in a rest stop and stole a camper from a poor family :( way to ruin vacation.

scully can tell everyone is LYING and she hates lies and bursts into the hospital area, despite the doctor trying to keep her out… it’s a serve, but at what cost to her health???

here, we learn what is at stake: 14 men have been infected, and 10 have died so far. YIKES! this is not good news.

she always answers the phone with “mulder, it’s me” and idk why I find that so endearing. but maybe I’m just at the point where everything these nerds do wins me over

NOOOO the dad from the camper was killed… vacation ruined even more than previously thought

back at the prison, a dude in a hazmat suit tried to kick scully out by saying that she is violating federal orders by being there, and she says “i’m a federal agent”…. a queen of dealing with nonsense. she needs to know if the escaped men are out and about spreading this!!

“you see what I let you see”, says a man drunk on the power of a lot of people dying around him. and i love that these men think they can handle whatever this disease is without any help whatsoever (/s) the arrogance of men has no limits.

the convict is coming home… to his gf and baby… SPARE THE BABY from the bubbling disease!!!

one of the dudes who escaped is on the floor of the gas station bathroom, moaning and groaning and covered in boils, and the other convict smacks the poor cashier helping him on the head with a wrench... truly despicable behaviors. and he was probably doing all of this for minimum wage!!

scully in da incinerator room... what is she doing there! she has a mask and some gloves and some bodies to investigate. she cuts one of the bagged bodies open.

NOOO the doctor tries to stop her and the juice gets in his eye… he runs away. rip doctor. your fate has been sealed.

(rolling up to the gas station w the marshals and a million dudes in sunglasses that look like horrible people to catch the escaped convicts)

mulder finds the poor cashier that got whacked and says “kid’s got a lot of hair, probably absorbed the blow” which is a crazy thing to say

now he is trying to track the phone call the convict made to figure out where he went, but he’s using the same payphone as the sick man, and the germs... i’m scared!

mulder gives his badge number to the operator. It’s JTT-047101111. will this information be of any use at any time? no. but I still wrote it down <3

woah loud noise! a helicopter arrives to put the cashier in some sort of incubator. this cashier has really had a bad time. and no one is explaining anything!!!! so he doesn’t even know where they are taking him or why!! transparency has never been anyone in the government’s strong suit, i guess.

convict cam. he is reunited with his gf. they are smooching. and that is not good for her survival rate i would guess. after they make out a lil, he shows her the other mostly dead guy in his car. i assume he will be joining the family but not for long. i'd be pissed if my man brought someone home after his prison escape. this was supposed to be about US and not some dude i don't know named paul dying in our bed...

okay the package of the meat was sent from kansas… sus…. from a pharmaceutical company?? could it be a fake return address… (spoiler: no, it was not!)

OUGHHHH the camera cuts to dead flesh and boils and blood BLEAGGHH and scully extracts a BUG from it….

back to the convicts. the woman is trying to help the guy who is filled with pus, and she bends down to try and cool off his fever, and just as this happens the boil bursts!!! her face is splashed with nastiness and i moaned “nooooo” and hit pause so fast because I nearly gagged... but this was not a foolproof plan, because it paused on all the stuff getting on her face, so i saw it even more, which was SO NASTY EVIL EVIL NASTY GROSSSSSS JAIL. she’s trying to scrub it off.

just as she tries to get it off, the marshals burst in and get her. so now they might get the boils… also someone scoops up the baby… put him in a better situation… but the other prisoner is gone!! where did his slippery ass sneak out to?!?

(we see an outside shot of the prison again and AGAIN I think this is the same one from the please please please mv. sabrina carpenter can you confirm or deny? i know you read this blog)

the doctor who was earlier splashed upon has revealed his boils to scully. but this is not all he reveals: he was LYING about the CDC being involved!!! it’s the pharmaceutical company that sent the package to the prison that did all this, and he works for them!! they finance discovering stuff in the rainforest to use in drugs… and they found the bug. and the bug has a parasite on it that makes the boils and the larvae are in the explosion. so explosion = infection.

NOOO she was there when his boil blew up so she might also be infected..... lord her medical history is complicated enough. let her escape the clutches of these damn bugs.

talk with skinner time!!!!! BUT... CIG MAN IS IN THE CORNER. mulder goes over to talk to him directly. is he trying to get them killed!!!!! because it looks like cigarette man put them on this case involving lethal infectious diseases because he wanted to get rid of them. oh, mulder is ANGRY about them lying to the public

meeting with skinner was NOT a success. he angrily fumbles with his seatbelt when scully calls to report the latest in plague news

they disagree on what to do here: he says the public has to know about the situation, and she says that they don't because the panic will spread faster than the contagion. oooo, juicy moral conflict! but i must admit. pandemic questions interest me less having lived through one of my own.

despite his frustration that she is making a point about not being able to tell the world just yet, he asks "are you okay in there scully?”, and she says yes, tells him to catch the fugitive, and to "take care of yourself out there"... and her not knowing if she is gonna live or die, so she tells him to take care of himself...... has me very emo

now, she is locked into quarantine with the infected doctor, who is testing her for the disease, which involves trapping a bug to her arm and waiting for it to bite her. which is quite hellish. she looks truly disturbed by the event and frankly so was i.

mulder interrogating the woman whose bf is the escaped convict. trying to find him, but being distracted by her moral questions on who deserves to know the truth... not now, ask these heavy things later. success! convict boil man is on his way to the bus station.

cutscene to the convict trying to buy a bus ticket. and coughing all over the ticket woman. another minimum wage worker victimized by disease. wear ur masks people!

back at the lab, the bug has FINALLY bitten her, but the doctor from the company is going down. he says she has to tell the world if her test is negative because it WILL happen again. way to push your guilt onto someone else, mister pharmaceutical man!

cut to her extracting blood from bugs. how in the hell did they film that scene??? she takes a deep breath and looks at the blood to see if she’s gonna die or not. and she sighs but that isn’t an answer for us, the audience. (spoilers: it was negative...... thank god)

in the incinerator of the prison, they are destroying all the evidence!!! by tossing all the bodies into a fire!!! the pharmaceutical company is covering its tracks!!! they say it was unavoidable but she says “we'll leave that up to others to decide!!!” oh he pulls the “no one will believe you” card… but she’s sneaky, maybe she’ll think of something that can prove it all to the rest of the world

back to the marshals and mulder at the bus station. no pressure but the prisoner who is about to die HAS to make a statement or else everything will be entirely covered up by the pharmaceutical company that killed these people. again, no pressure!!

mulder going on the bus with the infected convict.... nooo mulder, be careful, i whisper softly to the screen. and sensing his tricks, the sick man holds a boy with a gun to his head once he gets on there!!!

mulder's voice is all growly- you know how it gets when he’s serious. but the sick man is coughing all over the little boy. and foaming at the mouth. mulder convinces him to let the kid go, and tries to get that statement that will prove everything... but....

NOOOOOOOO!!!! the marshals shoot the guy before he can learn what was in the package!!!!!!

so, in all: the pharmaceutical company was using the prisoners as guinea pigs to get their drug on the market without FDA testing… truly sick and twisted!!!

mulder is reporting this to skinner, and he’s gonna tell the public!!! mulder says that covering the truth makes skinner just as guilty as the men who infected the prisoners (which i'm not sure i agree with but i love a man obsessed with the moral weight of his actions)!! but scully bursts in and says they can’t prove anything because the tracks were so thoroughly covered.

mulder is adding things up... that’s why they were given the assignment, so that if they tried to expose the whole thing, they would be discredited!!!

skinner says “you never had a chance, mulder; for every step you take, they’re three steps ahead” “where do you stand?” “i stand right on the line that you keep crossing” <- OHHHHH zinger.

but i'm conflicted... i thought skinner and i were tight after he intervened to save mulder a few episodes ago, but now I don’t know… skinner, my feelings towards you are complex and unnavigable

“i’m saying this as a friend: watch your back. This is just the beginning” <- WHAT DO YOU KNOW SKINNER!!!!!

there are questions here- such as, to what point does skinner knowingly go along with the corruption in the government? if the government was involved with killing prisoners on behalf of a drug company, what other evil twisted things are they hiding? to what extent can skinner, and every other person in the FBI, be blamed for complicity? is it at all possible to make positive change in a corrupt system?

also, are these the same guys who are hiding the aliens, or do you think that 's a different evil government department?

what was cig man doing there and why does skinner keep letting him into his office like a stray cat that gets one free meal from a nice human? (but that stray cat is evil and was involved in kidnapping scully) should we send skinner to the cancel chambers or is he a real mfer deep down? also, where the hell is krycek? not that I give a fuck. he sucked.

much to ponder, but i end there for now, because. bleurgh. flesh.

#this was kind of hurried because i didn't want to dwell on every single nasty moment but i did anyway. that is commitment!#so pardon any spelling or grammar errors or whatever. i usually leave some in accidentally and i expect there will be more than usual today #anyhow. interesting moral questions being framed here. interesting how mulder wanted to expose the company for wrongdoing but couldn't.#maybe he'll get the lone gunmen to rat them out and no one will believe them anyway because they are who they are #i'm pondering. i'm pondering many things. the plot was actually really interesting. the villain was big pharma.#doing things even worse than jacking up the price of insulin apparently #interesting when we get an episode where the bad guy is just straight up a corporation or the government and not ghosts or beasts at all #maybe the real villains were the people we met along the way etc etc #let me know what you thought! did you find it gross? or am i just weak. it's okay i can handle hearing i'm weak.#off to go read a book now... and tomorrow i'm reading some fluff fic <3 #juni's x files liveblog #the x files #txf

13 notes · View notes

boyobjectifier · 2 months

Text

i truly need to take my own advice and be okay with the fact that not everyone is going to give you the closure you want or the apology you deserve.

#i can spend all the time i want being mad that the people who’ve fucked me over are moving on with their lives #and don’t feel any sort of genuine regret or guilt for what they’ve done #but that won’t do me any sort of good after awhile #because honestly it’s just a waste of my own energy and time and brings down my own mood #that’s their problem and not mine. i didn’t go out of my own way to cheat on me or ghost me. they did that.#and let me be real here. i’m better off without them. and i’m better off not dwelling on that shit if i don’t need to.#…….i’m still mad + pouty though. for the time being.#h.txt

14 notes · View notes

hailsatanacab · 1 year

Text

close enough to be whole again || chapter 18

🎊 new chapter update new chapter update new chapter update 🎊

#dpxdc #dpxdc fic #dcxdp #dcxdp fic #desktop tumblr lets you edit links to put a title instead of 'show chapter' but mobile doesnt 😭😭😭#oh hello guys how are you i didnt see you there!!#dont mind me just casually dropping a chapter after........... too many months being inactive #im so sorry #ive been trying to get the other writing ive got going out of the way but like #theyre all turning into monsters too!!#idk how i feel about this chapter :/#the next chapter is going to have to undergo major rewrites before its posted #but! BUT! ive got a solid idea of where it goes after that so thats good news!!#because i was really stumped for such a long while #....... now i just gotta write it tho haha #after my holiday!! then its fic time BaBey!!!#poor danny in this chapter - poor damian too #at this point damian isnt necessarily against the idea of ghosts being (he knows ghosts are real!) its just more of a #'if ghosts arent real than danny is just confused and hes not dead please hes not dead dont let him be dead' sort of situation #ya get me?#promise they will talk about it and it will get better #just..... its gonna be a few chapters 😬#also in an earlier draft danny called dan a little bitch but damian misinterpreted it as danny calling damian a little bitch #and that was so funny to me - BUT to me it read more in damian's way so like i didnt want danny to get readers like that too #so i took it out but i kinda wish id left it in because its Funny #uh hmmm what else............... bruce sure is surprised about ghosts in amity huh #thats the trouble with writing Smart People #for i am Not Smart #BUT i do know the plot so that helps!!#anyway!! im at limit so let me say thank you for waiting ily all and i hope you enjoy it!! ily ily ily and thank you thank you thank you 🩷

30 notes · View notes

kalakilo · 7 months

Text

me trying to come up with literally ANY type of explanation to the aous ending that wouldnt mean what it most obviously means because i am so devastated

#ive seen some people say it kind of ruins the film for them #and in a sense i can see how the ending could go different ways as well #but. idk to me it just served like the final gut punch #also??? idk if this is mental but to me another possibility is that harry couldve done it the night adam went to show him his parents house #thats actually how i sort of interpreted it whilst i was in the cinema #but maybe thats also because i didnt want to accept the common interpretation. its too much #and whether it be that harry also re-experiences his death or adam chooses to embrace his ghost like both are devastating to me #because grief is not easy at all!!!!!! so like to say that adam starts grieving harry then is also just😭😭😭😭sad asfuck #but it could also very well be him sort of reassuring harry like he did his parents. how he tells them both that they went quick even though #his mom didnt. so adam reassuring harry with 'youre not in there' and asking him to go upstairs could be him letting go as well #but no fr there is no way to me that none of that was real.#god i am truly so devastated. i just fucking rewatched aftersun why do i do this to myself #lol anyway!#all of us strangers

9 notes · View notes

giantkillerjack · 9 months

Text

The cool thing about a horror movie that takes place in a mental hospital and, shockingly, actually turns out to be on the side of mentally ill people is that it avoids all the common disgusting pitfalls of mocking, demonizing, and infantilizing mentally ill people.

The downside is

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[It's much scarier.]

#original #smile movie #smile 2022 #I'm literally two scenes in #it could definitely become ableist by the end of the movie but I'm kind of obsessed so far?#like nothing is scarier to me than the lack of quality help and validation available to victims of trauma! and this movie is LEANING INTO IT #which is way scarier and also way truer and more important to talk about than a looney bin filled with lunatics who want to murder you #like that's literally a concept based solely on people's ableist fears.#same with horror movie monsters that are just people with facial deformities or congenital disorders or just... people who are poor #(the hillbilly cannibal trope is just MAN POOR PEOPLE ARE SCARY HUH. it's garbage.)#what's ACTUALLY a horror is the way these people are treated! and that INCLUDES how they are portrayed in media!#because guess what? ghosts aren't real and an abandoned mental hospital can't hurt you #but you know what can? a doctor who doesn't believe you. a system built on neglect. THAT'S the horror we need to talk about.#and THAT is why I am going to have to watch this movie in short installments over a few days #and let me be clear: i am alive today bc of a mental hospital's IOP/PHP program. i stopped being suicidal after YEARS bc of that program #mental hospitals CAN and SHOULD be GOOD THINGS ACTUALLY. but in countries with shitty healthcare that's very hard to find.#it is also why it is my life's work to build a treatment center that PROVES we can do this ethically and with compassion #life is worth living #and the American Healthcare industry can die just the same as any other giant or dragon. empires have fallen before. it is not immortal.#YOU reading this matter. stay safe. please. it isn't the end yet. i love you.

12 notes · View notes

sweet-as-kiwis · 9 months

Text

I PASSED ACCOUNTING LETS GO!!!!!

#A WHOLE C WHICH LIKE. IT AINT GREAT BUT MY OVERALL GRADE IN THIS CLASS LAST YEAR WAS A 33% SO!!!!!#LIKE OKAY I DONT KNOW HOW BUT I GOT AN 87.5% ON THE FINAL #SEVEN IF THOSE POINTS ARE FROM A VERY SHITTY EXTRA CREDIT VIDEO I DID BUT THATS STILL A RAW SCORE OF 80.5 #MEANWHILE. ON THE MIDTERMS. STUDYING THE SAME EXACT WAY. I GOT A 52% AND A 49%#I DONT KNOW WHAT ACCOUNTING GHOST POSSESSED ME BUT I OWE IT MY LIFE #AND YEA IVE STILL GOTTA GET THROUGH ACCOUNTINF TWO NEXT SEMESTER BUT LIKE!!! NOW THERE IS HOPE!!!! ACCOUNTING KINDA SORTA MAKES SENSE!!!!#do I still hate it with a passion? yes. do I know what’s really going on? HELL NO #BUT I KNOW ENOUGH TO PASS AND THATS WHAT MATTERS #I should really be studying for my last final but also I am High on Accademic Validation rn #cause like also since I was Already retaking the class. my school wouldn’t have Let Me take it a third time #but it’s required for my major #so the choices would be take it somewhere else at a higher cost over the summer #or beg and plead the school to let me try again #but if I couldn’t take it over the summer I Also would have had to take a full extra year of school #because I’m already in double major credit hour HELL #so now!!!! I am FREE!!!! if so much stress!!!! and yea I’m real scared for my business stats exam to go in but!!!!!#anyways I have officially passed 4/6 classes this semester. the first fall semester I haven’t failed a class in so far #anyways with me luck on data analysis farewell-

9 notes · View notes

ruvviks · 3 months

Text

made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it

#personal #like. vtm meets cyberponk. do you understand #it would be very focused on prioritizing... because you do play as a fully established character #but you get a bunch of jobs to take care of and you have to decide what you do first and most importantly how you solve it #you can combine certain jobs to do at once to save yourself time and effort but everything you do comes with consequences #if you ignore a problem for too long or deal with it poorly it will come back to bite you in the ass later. you can lose friends and such #basically you have it all from the start and then gradually like. work your way towards a single ending #locking yourself out of other paths because of the choices that you make etc etc and so on #friendships can help you out but they can also get in the way of other things so you have to think about like #how far you're willing to let yourself get distracted. but also no distractions is also a bad way to go at it because you'll end up alone #it would have a wide variety of endings but i suppose the 'canon' one would be the one where everything works out #because of the whole already established character thing. and also this is not real this is my story so i can do what i want #if it was an actual video game it wouldn't have a canon ending but it's never gonna happen so i can say it has a canon ending #but yeah you can play as heavenly the vampire hunter or as sun the vampire and then you get cool vampire abilities :]#i do like the idea of romance availability but they're different depending on who you play as #valentine can be romanced by both but he's a little brat so idk if you'd want that #isaac can only be romanced by heavenly because isaac is a gay man. valeska can be romanced by sun only because #valeska and heavenly are exes. so you can have a one night stand with her as heavenly and then she ghosts you LMAO #you can go into clubs... you can play carousel with npcs. it would be a very immersive experience #if you hang out at certain clubs too much then other vampire factions will be warier of you when you visit their club instead #you can forge alliances to be allowed into certain areas in town. you can disguise yourself. you have to hide your weapons #there's actual ways you can research locations or people involved in gigs so you can prepare yourself properly and potentially like #learn new things that open up a new way to deal with a situation #sometimes you have to wait until nighttime to be able to go somewhere because it's quieter around those hours. or vice versa #sometimes you have to wait a few days before someone can meet with you but if you miss the meeting you have to reschedule #and then you have to wait even longer. and some quests don't give you that much time so then you'd have to improvise #being spotted in a location can be dealt with by wiping security footage / killing the person who saw you. or just reloading your save #but if you've been spotted and you don't take care of it then that will ALSO have consequences. etc etc and so on #difficulty level in the game would determine how generous the game is surrounding stealth / time for quests / resilience of the guy you pla #and it wouldn't like. necessarily turn enemies into bullet sponges because that's lazy. it's much more fun to change other things

4 notes · View notes

laniidae-passerine · 10 months

Text

Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.

#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games #but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you?#the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart #listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past.#the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage #but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it #it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow.#the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you #it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always.#how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch #like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry.#but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past #and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care.#I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care.#and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered.#god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love.#and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines #and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through.#HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING #dean highbottom #coriolanus snow #the hunger games #a ballad of songbirds and snakes #haymitch abernathy #thg #abosas #suzanne collins #SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

8 notes · View notes

bluejaybytes · 6 months

Text

Anyways this is Jenna and Maggie to me. Maggie wakes up and realizes she was murdered and Jenna's like damn ! I wonder if they made a Forensic Files episode about you. and then she does not say that

#my OCs #listen i know I said Jenna was a 'regular person' in comparison to Maggie but let me be clear. She's a massive weirdo #its just that Maggie eclipses everyone with her weirdness being on previously unseen levels #Jenna finds a teenage girl passed out in a field in the middle of the day and instead of getting medical help she just kinda hangs around #She didnt believe in ghosts prior but when Maggie tells her she sees ghosts her reaction is 'okay makes sense'#She basically instantly latches onto Maggie and vows to help her based off of. basically nothing #BUT THATS PART OF THE POINT.#Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife that she wants ANY excuse not to go home #and helping Maggie is a way to get there. Of course- it all IS real so she ends up sticking around out of more than just not wanting to go-#-home- but that doesnt mean Jenna isn't any less weird for just. attaching herself to the first person her age that lets her #the point is theyre both intensely lonely! Jenna by force and Maggie by choice! Their bond with each other is them breaking out of that!!!#NOW: ARE THEY DATING? great question! they dont know either #they're both allergic to communication so neither of them talk about it but they definitely blurring the lines there

3 notes · View notes

takami-takami · 1 year

Text

I'm gonna do the embarassing thing and vent in the tags cuz im embarassed lol

#okay so. real talk. lets all sit down in a little circle. like we're gonna say our abc's #im not doing good. i dont know if its showing in my writing. but im not doing good. and its gonna drive me crazy if i keep it inside so #i think. it should be obvious where im at given the last two fics. but i feel like #i dont know anymore.#i feel like i'm gonna explode im not doing okay im not doing alright at all #i think i need a minute? or maybe i need to write more? i dont know what i need #i just feel like im keeping a secret and that irks me like #like im not posting or writing and i dont want the reason why to be a secret. like everyone to be kept in the dark or think im going ghost #i think if u know me its obvious from the way ive been talking too. idk what to do.#idk what to do!!!! AGGGHHHHHHHHH #IDK WHAT TO DO #“im not doing good” i say. experiencing The Horrors #🙂👍

9 notes · View notes

variousqueerthings · 2 years

Text

parallel watching from the beginning while watching s9, making me think more and more about trapper’s particular tragedy in this series of tragedies

he becomes symbolic of hawkeye’s lack of catharsis and in bj’s jealousy of him, so that his own reasons for doing things become obscured by what they need him to be/turn him into/when they evoke him

and trapper is different to every other character that leaves in that he doesn’t get a clear wrapping up of his story (because of wayne rogers’ issues with the show), and it fits -- in a watsonian way it really really fits

post s3 there are stories that spell out things that have been building in subtext for awhile + subjects that are brought up with different angles again and again, but feelings that people have before that exist largely more as subtext -- and that’s the part of the story that trapper physically inhabits

later on trapper is picked at like a loose tooth but he doesn’t have a voice to actually do any of that explaining himself, so when you go back and rewatch 1-3 it’s very interesting to do that examination yourself (and you have a benefit that neither hawkeye nor bj have, which is that they have to operate on memory or stories, whereas you can pause the screen)

because trapper doesn’t say much about why he does what he does, you derive that he’s neatly creating a divide between war and home from context clues (cheating on his wife, getting especially melancholy whenever he reads letters from her and his daughters, deflecting when hawkeye mentions he’s married, not giving hawkeye a proper goodbye, the very particular advice he gives hawkeye about shutting your eyes/sleeping to forget about the war for a bit, the way he handles hawkeye’s bouts of extreme impulsivity, etcetc)

but he’ll never be able to say. in fact, it seems pretty likely that his plan is to go home and never think about the war (and by extension hawkeye) ever again, which is its own tragedy, because... well how can he not? the most he can do is shut his wife and children out of his life, while he’s regularly invoked like some kind of spell by the people still in the place he pretends was a dream

hawkeye may feel like he’ll never get context or closure with trapper, and bj may feel intense anger and envy at everything trapper’s story has been that he can’t do or have, but trapper is never getting that closure either, nor did he ever ask to be anything more than a man trying his best to get through something horrible, same as the rest of them. he didn’t ask to be hawkeye’s stability, and he certainly didn’t ask to be bj’s predecessor (it works both ways...)

you understand hawkeye’s and bj’s pain and anger, but they’re both wrong (as is evident by the way trapper’s ghost hangs around) -- trapper hasn’t escaped anything at all, he’s still just as trapped as they are, only he doesn’t have his own voice with which to have some agency over his story, and if that ain’t a haunting I don’t know what is

#trapper mcintyre #yes yes it's a ghost story #and trapper's ghost is more potent than any others #and he's begging to be let go #but hawkeye and bj just can't #im watching MASH #MASH #my point isn't that trapper DOESN'T say things in s1-3 #but he doesn't get to in the same way #he's a bit fuzzy on the edges like he's never been quite real #especially considering 1-3 feel like the prologue #there are 8 whole seasons after that #henry might have died but trapper just... disappeared #what's worse?#KNOWING someone is gone or always feeling like they're just around the corner #it's like those haunting stories about people who disappear and then the lead sees them everywhere #stop rambling now

28 notes · View notes