#no way are most people in those places even making that much it doesnt matter if you still arent comfortable at that level

[sp4ceboo]

ai rant in tags bc im so fucking tired

[ooglywooglies]

the other thing about this income topic is middle class isnt fucking real youre either rich or youre poor

[feinyan]

DATING HEADCANONS ft. kinich, kazuha, xiao, scaramouche, childe and diluc.

kinich, who is blunt with his words and forward with his actions. who catches you off guard when he initiates without hesitation, or when he tells you what he wants in such a monotone voice as if his words didn’t make your heart skip a beat. kinich, who finds himself returning home from work exhausted, immediately collapsing within your arms, kisses gentle against your skin as he loses himself within your warmth. he isn’t necessarily too touchy, sliding his fingers where they find themself the most comfortable against the fabric of your shirt, his lips wet as he presses them against the nape of your neck, leading up to your chin. kinich, who is a listener. a boy who doesn’t speak much, but constantly has his attention on you. whether or not you think hes paying attention to you, he is. he remembers every detail you’ve spoken to him, important or not. kinich, who is the jealous type. despite not expressing it much �� or at all, he can’t help but stare at people who talk to you too much, or get close for comfort. almost instinctively, he’ll reach for your waist, sliding himself almost perfectly in place beside you, hands grasped tightly against the fabric of your clothing whilst his eyes remain narrowed. kinich, who desperately craves your touch. would he express it? god no. hes quiet, rather keeping those feelings to himself, but hes such a sucker for the way you make him feel, all fuzzy and warm inside.

kazuha, who has the words to describe anything, who can turn anything into something romantic. but with you, for the first time, he’d struggled. struggled to come up with the proper words to describe the way he felt toward you. could words even explain these feelings? kazuha, who is a charmer. who writes love letters to you, a play of words coming from him that are so romantic, that put just the right feelings in your chest, that have you wanting more from him. nobody gets more sweeter than him, its sickening. kazuha, who is so reassuring and affectionate. soft kisses against your wrists and forehead which are his favorite places, affirmations and praise even for the littlest things. who wraps his hands around your waist or buries his head into the crook of your neck when you’re alone, losing himself in your warmth. kazuha, who is like a hero to you in a sense. it seems like this boy can do practically anything, an issue with something? fixed. help with homework? he knows it well enough to teach you. speaking of teaching, hes such a patient teacher! rewards you with sososo many kisses. kazuha, who has a daring imagination, hidden behind such a kind and innocent face. a bot who sure, comes off as someone who’d be good with words, but god the things he says are far much more than what you’d expect. hes a tease sometimes, romantic and coy both physically and with words, yet never forward with it. always dancing around being direct.

xiao, who always pays for you, no matter the cost. who surprises you with gifts that put you into his mind, who doesnt hesitate to spend if its for you. xiao, who struggles to express how he feels. who is overwhelmed with the feelings you put within him, yet its not necessarily a bad thing. who isnt good with words, yet expresses himself with actions. who holds your hand wherever you go, who opens doors for you and takes you to fun places some could only wish to venture to. xiao, who gets flustered over the smallest actions. you tying a scarf around his neck? hes avoiding eye contact, your smile might make him lose whatevers left of his head. even the hand holding hes oh so used to catches him off guard when the thought crosses his mind. xiao, who is sooo sweet. always dotes on you .. a little awkward, but thats okay. he adores you a ton, always catching himself zoning out in your direction or losing himself within your presence.

scaramouche, who is overprotective. not necessarily a new fact, but god nothing irritates him more than the way hungry freaks gaze at you. or the way people extend their hand with pathetic introductions in order to make attempts to seduce you. he doesn’t mind stepping in, nor does he mind putting people in their place. scaramouche, who couldn’t comprehend his feelings at first. should puppets even have the capability to feel this way? yet the way he felt around you, basking in your presence and warm touch, a kindness he wasn’t used to, these feelings felt so unusual yet unmistakable. scaramouche, who is direct. freakishly direct. when he wants something, he’ll tell you. he doesn’t avoid saying things, nor is he scared to speak whats on his mind. scaramouche, who finds himself concerned for you constantly. its not that he finds you incapable, but rather a fear on his own mind. a fear that something will cause him to lose you, something that affects him to think about more than he’d like to admit. he monitors your actions, lectures you for things he believes were irrational — some could call it possessive, but its in best interest. scaramouche, who flicks you on the forehead as a method of teasing or punishment. maybe its a little unusual, but it doesnt hurt that much! in a way, its a form of affection, special toward you.

childe, who is a big cuddler. hes such a lovebug, clinging to your side in bed, messy hair pressed against your cheek. his long limbs, sprawled out everywhere. night time talks are a big thing for him, sharing little stories and talks as you both find yourself slipping deeper into slumber. childe, who is a major kisser. who, if you forget to kiss him, whines and pouts like a child until hes given what he wants. who kisses you just about everywhere, who doesn’t have a favorite place to kiss because he loves everything about you! childe, who is suuuuch a act all nice guy. who finds himself jealous at the slightest interaction that isnt with him, giving such a cruel, threatening gave from behind, yet the minute they express a reaction or you turn to him, confused, he puts on such a sweet, endearing smile. childe, who adores your interactions with his family. he loves nothing more than his family members, and seeing you get along with them makes him feel something unexplainable. with you, he hopes to oneday have a family as endearing as his own.

diluc, who spoils you. who wouldn’t dare allow you to buy something cheap (unless it truly makes you happy) and doesn’t mind spending thousands for something little. he doesn’t typically irrationally throw money around, but maybe if its for you, he doesn’t mind. diluc, who calls you love, sweetheart, darling. words that leave your stomach feeling like its spinning diluc, who endearingly stares at you. who finds himself smiling by just being within your presence. who, when you smile in return, finds himself melting. diluc, who isnt a fan of pda yet will still give you small kisses in public. forehead kisses, lip kisses, hes not ashamed nor embarrassed, he’d rather just keep the deep parts of your relationship for your eyes only.

@ feinyan

[twistedpink]

IK I’ve miniposted about this before, but like.. Accents and quirks just do something to me. You know deep down, you’re into them too!! “English” is written as “Common” like in dnd, which I’m pretty sure is the canon language in twst

Riddle Rosehearts, that despite being raised all prim and proper in the queendom, just can’t drop his accent no matter how hard he studies. His niche lingo and references confuse everyone else- Even his own countrymen, because everything he says is outdated by at least a couple decades. It’s so much worse when you get into his head with all your “contemporary language”, it’s like a professional pickleball player trying to translate magicam into textbook logic.. Which if you’ve ever written a caption, DOESNT WORK. You love him all the same though, even if he’s a permanent senior <3

Octavinelle that’s made to learn multiple languages with vastly different systems for tone and dialect to even consider studying on land, and rely on you for translation in their first year :( Just imagine Floyd hanging off your shoulders, popping and clicking words in his native language to whisper the nastiest things he can muster- Just for your teachers to ask what he’s trying to say while he giggles into the fat of your blushy cheeks. Jade messing with your hands or mouth in public because “that is.. How we talk. At my home.” You’re smart enough to know they’re not that touchy under the sea, but you indulge him, as a treat for beating out his twin in appropriate articulation. Azul floundering (with elegance, ofc) in his first couple dealings while you whisper translations in his ear- You’re much too close, and he’s no guppy! <3

Jamil Viper, that unlike Kalim, doesn’t have all the professional teaching in common. He’s far from beginner, but there’s a clear divide- He’s self taught, and it gives him the cutest accent!! He slips into his native tongue most often when he’s upset and can’t communicate with all the adrenaline,, Maybe if you like the way he sounds so much, he’ll be willing to teach you a couple words! Can’t guarantee they won’t be targeted insults, though,, <3

Idia Shroud with an accent and stutter,, You can barely understand his common when he gets into those mumbly rants, and you’re the only who really cares what he’s saying in the first place! Eventually, you guys get into relationship-telepathy territory where you communicate almost exclusively with text and body language- But that doesn’t help your poor classmates, especially the ones in his dorm, that need him to speak for events and housewarden wisdom. Point for Idia, ig? Translator and partner acquired!! <3

Diasomnia with HEAVY accents and ANCIENT common vocabulary!!!! Lilia’s accent is the heaviest, and Sebek’s the lightest (even if he plays it up for his ego) but all of their vocab is a mash of textbook definitions and clunky, outdated slang. Silver has the easiest time with learning modern common on account of his native language still being human, but when he’s especially tired there’s zero common coming out of his mouth, and there’s been SO many incidents of him “speaking tongues”. Malleus hates his accent when he’s at school- It only makes it harder for people to understand him than it already is, but if you think it’s attractive I’m sure it lightens the blow <3

[spidermanifested]

heres MY rambly black sails analysis for the day, after watching the show twice in as many months i wholeheartedly believe in the "long john silvers quote unquote missus in treasure island is max, not madi" theory

the most obvious thing, as others have pointed out, is that in treasure island long john silver runs an inn with his wife, a black woman, in bristol, which is absolutely not madi behavior-- i cannot imagine madi would take him back in the first place much less move with him TO ENGLAND-- but IS maxs exact area of expertise. but theres so many other things that cement it for me

as early as episode 2, max tries to convince eleanor to buy out the inn and run it together with her when england takes nassau back. this is her dream-- to share power over her life with a woman she loves, free of the pressures of the outside world. (youll note this also happens to be silvers dream for himself and madi. the parallels)

in season 4 shes faced with the suspiciously similar option to take a husband to be the face of her business, completely on paper, for the sake of the public eye. and she refuses! she doesnt want to give a man that kind of power over her. not only that but she desperately wants to retain some kind of truth in her identity-- she admires anne for her honesty, her courage. these are things she can rarely afford to express. in refusing a marriage of convenience, she asserts her autonomy.

But. black sails tells us over and over again that an oppressive society will always find ways to batter down these private boundaries. there is no island safe from colonial rule. mirandas peaceful house in the interior is burnt to the ground. the maroons are forced to accept a freedom that comes at the price of abandoning those still enslaved and taking part in their continued subjugation. the things it takes to make these spaces are terrible, and unsustainable, and when it comes to being gay in the 1700s there is a tightrope to walk between privilege and privacy, one that destroyed flint and the hamiltons, thats even narrower to max as a self-made woman of color.

given all that, i do not believe she can girlboss her way out of her circumstances no matter how many lessons she took from what happened to eleanor. nor do i think the show believes it. i think the political-marriage-offer plot point is another illustration of that theme-- maxs desire, and silvers desire, to build a warm, happy room in the middle of the imperial machine, without meaningfully striking out against the machine itself, is destined to be futile no matter how strong they are as individuals.

max and silver are mirror images of one another. each of them is essentially the narrator of one half of the story. it is absolutely agonizing how BOTH of them tried to convince their lovers to abandon their ambitions, to settle for a quiet life with them, and in doing so saw that relationship destroyed by their own fear of an uncertain future....

....And its even MORE agonizing to imagine them finally securing the trappings of a domestic life... but without the love. and they know the love was what mattered! theyre always going to know!!!

it bookends PERFECTLY with their alliance at the start of the series. theyre right where they started, trusting no one, pretending to be humble and harmless, planning to steal the EXACT SAME TREASURE, except now theyre 50 years old and jaded and bitter and both pining after their lost loves. silver probably pictures madi whenever he tells people about his wife. when he and max have time to themselves they talk solely about finances and nothing else. its honestly impressive how miserable this is for every single person involved. im losing my mind

[allforthegaymes]

Somethin about Andrew Minyard who shoves himself face first into danger no matter what risk it poses to himself

Being 5 feet even and still taking on four grown men who try to beat up Nicky outside of Edens.

Knowing his twin brother for less than a few months and willingly killing Tilda, even planning on himself dying in the process if need be.

Andrew willingly putting himself in direct harms way if it means protecting those he loves, while unwilling to put those same people in a even slightly potentially dangerous position.

Andrew who deals with Aarons withdrawals on his own, sat outside a locked bathroom door to intermittently slide his brother new food, water, and clothes. Unwilling to risk sending his brother to a place where he knows people in high positions would be willing to abuse their power, willing to hurt Aaron.

Andrew who despite knowing all of this and making sure Aaron never had to witness it, goes through his own withdrawls at easthaven, knowing what kind of abuse could and would happen to him.

Andrew who promises to protect Kevin and Neil. He knows theyre lying to him and he knows he doesnt know the full truth of who they are and what (who) exactly he is protecting them from.

But he also knows it helps Kevin to have a buddy system to lean on, to have someone who can shove his way through a crowd of exy fans all trying to get at Kevin, both fans and haters of him following his Ravens departure.

The way Neil describes Andrew as being a wall he can lean on and know he wont tilt under the weight of Neil’s past and current issues.

Somethin somethin about Neil looking at Andrew and seeing Andrew in a way no one else can. A way no one else has.

Neil looks at Andrew and sees how his carefully created stony exterior is a way to protect his family, by taking on the brunt of the negative attention from others. Both the other foxes, exy fans, his own classmates.

The rest of the foxes cant hate Aaron or Nicky the most if Andrew is always the one acting out to take all of their feelings of hatred on himself.

And no one recognizes this until Neil.

Neil who sees the way Andrew loves his family so much that hes willing to let them hate him as long as theyre safe.

Neil who knows Aaron thinks Andrew hates him and goes to Katelyn directly to tell her she needs to push to get Aaron into group sessions with Bee to fix his and Andrews relationship, because if Andrew or Neil were the one to suggest it Aaron would be against it.

[gibbearish]

smth i think ppl who werent raised christian need to understand is that a) fear of death will make you do things you wouldnt otherwise do and b) being raised christian fundamentally kneecaps your ability to process death. most christians are the way that they are because if the bible isnt true, if god isnt real, then neither is heaven. if there is no heaven, then all their loved ones who have died arent actually waiting for them, there is no place theyll get to spend forever with the people they love now, there is no eternal reward for being good, there is no guarantee of any afterlife whatsoever. and as science progresses and christianity becomes harder and harder to maintain, as various claims in the bible get disproven and we learn more about how life actually came to be, that possibility that Death Might Actually Be Something They Have To Fear After All gets stronger, and so that protection of the idea must get stronger too. the bits of the bible that are too hard to defend have to be removed or papered over or talked around, the rules that dont make sense have to be explained or maintained without question, the people who dont believe must be agents of satan sent to damn their soul to hell. the way they learned to cope with death is to say it didnt happen, not really, not in a way that mattered, theyre still out there somewhere, youll see them again someday. and with that came a promise that their death wouldnt be permanent either. it all has to be true, that heart has to be maintained, because otherwise. otherwise, this is it, and we dont know what happens next. otherwise, death becomes scary again. otherwise, death is no longer the loading screen before your eternal reward. otherwise, they have to think about what might come next, how their actions affect others here and now, fully grieve the people theyve lost, grieve the eternal life of happiness and love they were promised from birth. and that is. hard. and while obviously none of this excuses the way they treat people, i do think that like. keeping that in mind during interactions with them, being aware of how high the stakes are for them, can very much effect the way you approach those conversations.

at the heart of every horrible christian with bigoted views and worse actions is a scared little kid who doesnt know where you go when you die, because the answer they were given when they first asked is turning out to be full of holes. and while you may not be able to work with the adult in front of you here and now, maybe you can at least find that little kid for a moment. maybe you can sit down with them and say yeah bud, that is pretty scary, isnt it? it's scary not knowing what's gonna happen to you. it's scary learning something you thought was true might not be. maybe you can tell the kid that theyre allowed to be scared, that being scared doesnt have to mean hurting others. and maybe the kid wont listen, maybe youll have wasted your time, who knows. but maybe not. and even if you did, youll have learned something about how to find that kid in others, so was it really a waste?

[thelov3lybookworm]

Pretty, isn't it?

Day 6: Song of the wind.

Summary: He made a fool out of himself, but it seemed worth it.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1313

Warnings: fluff, azzie being a shy baby 🥹

A/n: hehehe i hope yall like this as much as i do 🥹 this one doesnt have hazel and kaden because its mostly az trying to impress yn with his peacock feathers (that is me trying to be funny, az doesnt have peacock wings 😭)

@azrielappreciationweek

ANYWAY ENJOYYYY 🥳

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

I would be the luckiest male to ever exist if you decided to give me the time of day.

Azriel could not believe it, but that letter had been the one that had convinced Y/n to spend time with him, to get to know him. He had given up after having sent almost fifty letters over the time of two months since he’d seen her first.

He had begun to wonder if he truly was that undesirable that even after those letters and shitty poetry, Y/n did not care.

To her credit, Azriel would have rejected himself too after his pitying attempts at poetry.

In the last letter, he had written everything he could come up with. It had been all over the place, written in the middle of the night after having a dream of Y/n with another male. Maybe Azriel had begun suffocating her, maybe he was pushing her away rather than making her like him. He had told her how the past two months, he had been looking forward to seeing her more than he ever has anyone else in his life. How he cared for her without knowing anything about her, and how he was glad for her existence no matter what.

He had told her that it would be his last letter, and that he would let her be free. He had imposed enough.

But to his surprise, the next morning when he woke up at his desk, back sore and neck bent at an unnatural angle, he was greeted by the sight of a white envelope, sealed with soft pink wax.

The paper inside only consisted of only nine words. Nine words that were able to make the spymaster grin wide, giggle like a schoolgirl and jump around his room, hurrying to get dressed for the day.

Meet me at the bridge over Sidra at noon.

He had only been standing for a few moments before she showed up, in another one of her flowy dresses, small pink flowers printed onto the soft material.

Just the sight of her slightly tilted lips had Azriel’s ears turning red.

She had greeted him normally, like he had not spent the past two months following her around like a lunatic, begging for a moment of her day. And Azriel had been all too happy to go along with it.

Well, he was happily going along with that plan, until he realised the sun was setting and panicked, realising he did not have longer before she decided to go home and he did not yet know whether she liked him enough to decide to bless him by spending another day with him.

So, in his hurry to impress her, he had dragged her to the riverbank.

"I come here when I need to get away from my family. They can be a lot at times."

Y/n smiled, humming. "I hadn’t really thought about them being… I don’t know, like us? I guess I had this image of them being very professional and serious."

Azriel smiled. "They’re the most unhinged people I’ve ever met. Like you know the other day, Cassian jumped on one foot trying to impress his mate, like this-" Azriel did the same thing Cassian had done, hopping around on one leg and spreading his wings to balance himself- "and then he fell into the river."

Y/n chuckled, her eyes sparkling. Seeing the tilt of her lips, Azriel couldn’t help but grin back. The wind picked up, the song he was so familiar with blowing gently around the two of them.

Azriel did not close his wings, too busy staring at the way the wind lifted the edges of Y/n’s hair, the way she closed her eyes for a moment, as if to savour the feeling of it. He didn’t close his wings. He should have. But it was too late.

The membrane of his wings caught the air, sending him stumbling back. His eyes widened, meeting Y/n’s concerned ones before he rushed towards the ground, skiing tingling with the cold river water that enveloped him not moments later.

He sputtered as he resurfaced, frantically searching around for Y/n. He found her bent over herself, eyes closed as laughter erupted from her lips.

His lips twitched in response even as the red of embarrassment took over his features.

At least I could make her laugh. Who cares if she won’t want me after I made a fool of myself?

Azriel struggled to his feet against the strong current, ears filled with the melodious sound of Y/n giggling.

"Are you okay?" She questioned as he finally crawled onto dry land, her eyes sparkling.

Azriel nodded. He did not have words to say. She spared him the struggle.

"It’s getting late. I should go." Perhaps she noticed the way Azriel’s face fell, because she hurried to add. "Do you mind flying me home?"

Instantly, Azriel perked up. "Not at all, I would love to."

Y/n only smiled, stepping closer to him.

Moments later, the two were in the air, despite Azriel’s worries of getting her dress wet. She had assured him that she did not mind.

The instant they were airborne, Azriel realised that Y/n’s eyes were clenched shut, as were her fists against his shoulders. It made him want to giggle in giddiness, but he forced himself to focus on the gentle wind whispering in his ears and not the way she felt in his arms as he squeezed Y/n tight.

She felt like home. She felt like she belonged here, and if she agreed, Azriel would never let go of her, content to spend the rest of eternity holding her.

She opened her eyes, looking at him for a long while before glancing down. A soft gasp of wonder escaped her, and Azriel let himself chuckle.

"It’s pretty, isn’t it?"

She nodded distractedly before glancing at him.

"Does this shock you every time you fly?"

Azriel pondered as her home came into view, a sense of longing beginning to take root in his chest. "I can never get used to the beauty, if that’s what you mean." he paused. "I was not allowed to even spread my wings for the first decade or so of my life, so now every time I take to the skies, I take my time cherishing the sights, the smells and the sounds."

Y/n swallowed as Azriel began descending, her eyes unwavering from his face. She did not avert her eyes, even as he set her down on her porch.

"Thank you for today, Azriel."

Azriel dipped his head, the warmth of his cheeks no longer stemming from embarrassment.

"It was all my pleasure."

Azriel wanted to ask her if she would want to meet with him again, on another outing for just the two of them, but he did not want to force her hand. He already wondered if this one day out was because she pitied him, maybe wanted him to leave her alone. He could not bring himself to ask for more of her precious time. He felt blessed as it was.

But Y/n smiled wide, seeming to have other plans. "Will I see you again?"

Azriel stared back at her, stunned. "I- if you want to see me. I mean I want to see you, but if you don’t want to see me it’s completely fine, I won’t bother you more-"

A soft laugh tickled his ear before he felt her soft lips at his cheek, silencing him effortlessly.

"See you next week then, same day and time. Goodbye Azriel."

She was through her door and into the house before Azriel could recover from the shock.

"Goodbye…" He mumbled, gazing at the painted door.

But no one except his shadows were there to hear his response.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

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@okaytrashpanda

[blackknight-kai]

This is gonna sound insane but HEAR ME OUT—

Have you ever heard of the term of a 'womb tattoo' (WT) ? It's basically like a tattoo/sigil that is placed over where the womb would be (on the skin itself) and it would have like, different spell properties depending on the type of tattoo/sigil that was inked

What if, WHAT IF— Sun Wukong knows the basic of WT magic and have been secretly planning to place one on his beloved? (With consent, of course)

I'd honestly think he'd enjoyed seeing how his beloved would look so flushed - sweat dribbling down their skin, their breaths short and quick and just how often they would palm at their lower abdomen; the tattoo/sigil from THE Sun Wukong himself is thrumming with want, with need for any speck of attention the simian demon would throw their way.

I'm so insane actually. Perhaps this year was a good year for monkeys all around

(I’m really tired and wrote this before sleep so I hope this came out okaaaaay)

You have an awesome idea here! Wukong wanting to share something like this with his beloved? Absolutely! This COULD go into yandere territory but I wont go there since it can ALSO go into consenting territory especially if reader is okay with it. Sun Wukong wouldn’t MAKE them get it but them being willing? Awesome.

N.S.F.W Under the cut - 2 parter in here :)

Wukong brings it up one night, at first it’s kinda playful but definitely devolves into a slightly serious conversation. I mean he doesnt wanna force you or make you uncomfortable. PLUS it’s not like it has to happen NOW. But he wants to make sure you know what youre getting into. Because this could be A LOT. Especially for someone attached to HIM.

When you do agree to it he’s going to be sooooo stoked and excited. Will definitely prepare what he can for it and then maybe set a day specifically for getting it on you. No matter how long the actual spell takes most likely he just wants to have some fun and make it a nice playful comfy thing, maybe he takes you apart bit by bit and then puts you back together before putting it on you while youre nice and relaxed. Or maybe in the middle of your orgasm he casts the spell?

Either way, you’re in for a ride after. See, the spell doesnt work for just ANYONE. Most womb spells seem to showcase that “any man” will do. Not for Wukong. Nope. He’s gonna make sure that the only way this thing reacts is because of HIM. Thing is, Wukong is pretty damn strong right? Powerful. So it’s only fair that his mark is as well. You’re going to be a MESS so often it’s not even funny. You KNEW he was attracted to you, duh you sleep together all the time, but to THIS extent?

Having HIS attention is NOT for the weak or someone who doesnt want to put up with his shit. Because as a King he has WANTS and he has DEMANDS. I’ve said it many times at this point, Sun Wukong DEMANDS your pleasure. It is HIS. His right, his privilege. He WILL get it.

It’s going to get to a point where you could be doing mundane things and then all of a sudden the mark is going off and youre practically bowled over by the sudden sensation. He’s off doing King stuff? Doesn’t matter. Good luck getting anything done that day because god forbid he’s bored at a celestial court meeting or something, he is going to fantasize about you through the entire thing making your mark go fucking nuts. You’re going to be dripping and trembling, sweating and struggling to stand for hours. Trying to touch yourself? Good luck, unless you pass out this isn’t gonna stop.

He’s watching you from across the room full of people? His eyes traveling up and down your body and taking in those curves and features he so loves? Your pussy is going to be woke the fuck up and when he smells your slick not only is he going to feel prideful about it, he’s going to make it so much worse. Thinking about all the filthy things he could do to you right there and now.

Wukong brushes his tail across your ass? It’s like little fireworks of pleasure are set off on your skin where it touched you, I hope you learn how to stop yourself from moaning on a dime because he was definitely thinking about something naughty when he did it and now your clenching around NOTHING but needing to be filled with him.

ALSO NEW THOUGHT (Lucky you LOL two thoughts for 1). Actually…..I hope you dont mind if I go that direction instead of an established relationship one….Cuz thats where this is taking me now.

General Properties

- [ ] Only reacts to Sun Wukong and NO other.

- [ ] Normally you’d have to be within a certain distance of the person for the tattoo to react to their dirty thoughts about you, but Wukong? AHAHAHA yeah. Dude could be off doing fuck knows what however far away and your tattoo will react to him thinking nasty things about you.

- [ ] Him looking at you with lustful eyes? Or maybe he brushes by you in a certain way? This is gonna set off the tattoo too.

- [ ] The tattoo can react in various levels depending on what HE has going on. Generally he likes you to simmer. Sweat a little. Edge you all day. Likes to remind you of him as you go about your day.

- [ ] The reaction is basically as if a low level vibrator is inside you, getting turned on higher and higher depending on what he’s doing/thinking and for how long. It’s gonna feel like a gentle massage of your clit along with it, not enough USUALLY to make you come but you are going to be FEELING it.

- [ ] Another fun thing, if he touches himself in a sexual way - Example strokes his cock, your pussy reacts as though hes fucking it. Hope you’re ready for THAT in the middle of a random Tuesday.

- [ ] A later addition to the mark will be where you cant orgasm without tasting or taking in his seed through your pussy. He’s gone for a few days and wants you to be panting and so damn needy for him when he comes home, as though youre heat.

While was writing this as an established relationship, I also had the thought of Reader being his bride to be - and consenting to get the mark. But they haven’t consummated the relationship since they aren’t married yet, and the effects and stuff I list out above would be AMAZING.

When you found out that you were going to be marrying someone you HADNT expected it to be THE Monkey King, Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Earth himself, Sun Wukong. You’d met him several times, each time was a pleasant experience. He was oddly charming, cheeky, and mischievous of course. You laughed at his little pranks and trickery, listened to his captivating stories. It seemed like when you guys were in the same space he would eventually seek you out, enjoying your company for a little while before one of his pranks caught up to him and he had to make a quick exit.

You found him VERY attractive in a lot of ways. Be it his handsome face and that roguish smirk he does or how intelligent he clearly is underneath all that arrogance. His strength and power is also something that captures your attention both physical and mental. While his temper could use some work at times you find him endearing. The fact that he takes his time to come over and say hi to you, make you laugh, and spend time with you, even asking about you makes you feel as though he see’s you. Since he doesnt generally bother with things like that too much from what you can tell.

You weren’t 100% certain but you thought he was flirting with you a lot of the time. Your cheeks turning red and his smile growing a little wider as though he’s pleased with himself at your reaction. Tension, or at least you HOPED it’s mutual, brews between you two every time youre in the same space. Sometimes, before he makes his way over to you, you can feel his eyes on you from across the way. Upon looking, there he is. Wukong will give you a little wave with either his hand or even his cheeky tail before returning to whatever conversation or thing he was doing, but those eyes of his will wander back periodically.

When the offer of marriage came well….you were a little shocked to say the least. The thing was, it wasn’t an immediate marriage but rather, he was to court you for a time with the intention of marriage at the end of it. You would essentially be his bride to be but with a brief period of time, about a year, where he would spend time with you and the two of you get to know each other more. Honestly, you thought it was something he would NEVER do. Between the stories about him or his wild nature. You figured either he would never ‘settle’ down or he’d marry right away, not wanting to go through the hassle when he would be marrying them anyway.

Accepting the offer was easy. Honestly, you were intrigued by him and definitely had a huge fat crush on him. After spending a few outings with him you come to realize you could absolutely fall in love with him too. A few months into the courtship the tension between the two of you is HIGH. There have been kisses, but Wukong always stops them before they get too heated. Light lingering touches but always in respectable places. It’s maddening. But from what he explained to you, he wanted to make sure the two of you matched well. That YOU know and understand him before fully committing to him, because as he’s said, once you’re his there wont be any going back. He hadnt said it in a menacing way or anything, but you can tell that he was serious. About you and this relationship, that for him, this is IT.

By your third month of courtship though Wukong springs something on you. He assures you that he can remove it if it’s something that becomes an issue or you decide not to move forward with the relationship.

A womb tattoo.

He allows you a little time to think about it, after covering all the specifics. You’re nervous at first, as you haven’t really had a sexual encounter with him as of yet. Not that you didn’t WANT to, but again he has been keeping things clean between the two of you aside from a few sexually charged flirtatious remarks sprinkled here or there. But regardless of wherever you are his eyes always tell you how much he wants you too. A lot of the time when you separate for the day you’re left wanting….fantasizing about what could he possibly be thinking about.

Eventually, you agree. Mainly because he doesnt pressure you about it. It’s almost like he never asked or brought it up. The way his eyes light up and he takes a moment to process your acceptance though tells you how genuinely excited he is about the idea. His tail swishes and flicks almost erratically behind him as he double checks with you before he sets a day for you two to begin the process for the tattoo.

You’d both decided to start easy, something simple. The tattoo itself, as he had explained, isnt ink and it wont show up unless he messes with the spell itself. But the spell will attach itself to your core and will ONLY react to HIM. This way, no other would accidentally activate it. Not wanting to overwhelm you at first, he sets the spell to only react when he’s looking at you with a lust full gaze. You’re nervous as he has you lie down, your clothes on but you do have to adjust them just enough to reveal your hips and the space your uterus sits under your skin. He hadnt wanted you to undress fully, this way he can enjoy you on your wedding night.

Wukong applies the spell and its a strange sensation, it doesnt hurt but its intense. When hes done he soothes you and tells you that you’ve done well. He tells you that the spell will activate by the time you see him next, this way your body has time to adjust to it.

You thought you were prepared. You were not.

The next time you see him you two aren’t alone but as his familiar eyes land on you, the hair on the back your neck stands up and then your body goes ridged as a tingling sensation starts up inside you body. It’s gentle, but it causes you to gasp and flush a little as your pelvic muscles contract at the sudden soft vibrating that is pulsing in your pussy. You KNOW nothing is in you, this must be the spells doing. You watch Wukong, having to lean over and support yourself with the back of a chair as his eyes roam up and down your body slowly. Once his eyes lock on to yours and he see’s your face he smirks wide and slow. His eye brow raises slowly though, a look of ‘Still okay?’ Comes across his expression and you nod a little shyly. Feeling embarrassed but also…excited. The tattoo isn’t overwhelming, more like a light gentle touch keeping you awake but not enough to make you desperate. At least at first.

This continues for a few weeks, the strange but pleasant buzzing sensation inside you whenever he’s around. It’s tantalizing and you find yourself desperate to return home and bring yourself to orgasm every time you end up spending hours with him. It’s almost constant in a way you weren’t prepared for but definitely dont mind. Especially when he knowingly teases you or leans in and whispers in your ear telling you how pretty your red cheeks are. Or asking you why youre squirming so much with a knowing grin on his face.

When he asks if he can adjust the spell, letting you know what additions he’d like to make, you agree. The little secret between the two of you is thrilling and you truly want to discover more with him. This time the additions will include if he’s thinking about you and if he touches you with intention. What he only hinted at though was how the intensity was going to increase. He also told you that he was leaving something up for a surprise.

After he adjusts the spell, that night when it finally settles, you gasp awake. Your body is sweaty and you’ve slicked up enough that your underwear is damp. The once soft tingling sensation is now an intense direct feeling. It’s not truly enough to make you orgasm but it’s enough to make you sweat and squirm. Your clit is swollen and your entrance pulses with need and you genuinely cannot stop yourself from immediately reaching down to bring yourself to ecstasy. From the feeling, this had been going on for some time before you woke. Meaning Wukong has been thinking about you. The thought makes you shiver with excitement and flattery. Happy that his thoughts are currently consumed with you.

From here it’s a little more difficult to remain passive. Sometimes you can be spending time with your friends or completing a chore for the day when the buzzing starts up. It makes you weak in the knees and you have to do your best not to react too much. When he’s around and watching you it’s even harder. You know he sees how warm you are, the sweat starting to bead on your skin, and the slight tremor you have every so often. Your speech is breathier too.

Wukong clearly enjoys seeing you like this. His tail always swishing and his face while usually showing a smirk sometimes remains stoic. But his eyes. His eyes watch you with such intense desire and pride that it makes you almost want to beg him to touch you. He seems to relish in the fact that he can make you so needy that you have to press on your abdomen or cross your legs tightly as you sit down. His kisses now are always a little more on the heated side, but he still never lets them get TOO heated. You can see in his expression as he pulls back that he is testing his own patience. He whispers to you how delicious you smell, that he can smell you from across the way and he cant wait to finally drink from its source after youre married.

One night, not too long after the new addition was added to the spell youre lying in bed, getting ready to sleep when that now familiar tingling starts up inside you. Since youre alone you relax back and allow yourself to sigh at the pleasant buzz. That is, until it feels like something thick and blunt is making its way inside you.

Your eyes widen and you gasp, arching your back and spreading your legs unconsciously as the invisible object slowly starts to thrust in and out of you. A little panicked you reach down and under your clothes, a moan forcing its way out of your throat at the continued stimulation. Your hole is empty and definitely NOT being stretched open by anything but your fingers. The ghost sensation of something inside you is so visceral, so real though, and your body jerks and thrums as the object moves faster, hitting inside you just a little rougher too. Your whole body comes alive and it feels like not just your clit and pussy are are pulsing with need, but so are your nipples and all the little pleasure spots on your body.

You cant catch your breath and involuntarily our hips move, chasing the ghost sensation as you touch yourself. You’re so wet that the slick sound of your fingers dipping inside you makes you shudder and you quickly realize that THIS was the surprise Wukong had added. How he’s making you feel this way you dont know, but you DO know he’s thinking about you, heavily. Your orgasm comes so suddenly that you cry out and clamp down on your own fingers. The blunt object doesnt stop moving though, fucking you through your orgasm until youre shaking and near tears. It seems to move faster and faster, losing its own rhythm until finally it slams in and then stills.

You lie there panting, body sweaty and your legs still trembling as you finally are allowed to come down from your high. The tingling slowly dissipates to a low gentle feeling until it’s gone. Leaving you oddly satisfied and definitely curious.

When you pluck up the courage to ask him about it, Wukong gives you the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen, his fangs on display. He first asks you if you liked it, which you nod with a little hesitation, mainly due to it being such a new thing. Your Monkey King then tells you that what you experienced was him fucking his fist while thinking about you. That as he touched himself your body was reacting accordingly, as though his cock was deep inside you instead of his hand.

The knowledge sets your body on fire and it sets his mind wondering too. You let out a little whimper as the tingling sensation comes back in full force, immediately ramping up your lust and desire. He reacts to your sounds and panting breath accordingly too, which doesnt help your situation. The kiss he gives you that day is the filthiest one you’ve received so far, and when you orgasm on nothing, not even a touch, Wukong looks at you like you’ve given him the stars & moon as a gift.

Your wedding day to him cant come any faster. Because while you enjoy this little secret game the two of you have been playing, enjoy feeling the ghost of his cock fuck into periodically when he cant contain himself and has to fuck his own fist….It’s not enough. You want to feel his warmth. Feel his claws digging into your skin as he pounds into you. His fangs marking you and his release filling you until he has nothing left.

- [ ] Once you guys get married this gets even worse (better). Especially with your permission of course, but he is going to fuck his fist when he KNOW’s youre doing things JUST so you have to try to fight to stay on your feet and not react.

- [ ] He’s going to be a major tease 24/7 since he doesnt ever stop thinking about you. Never stops wanting you.

- [ ] When he adds the addition about ‘can only come when you taste or receive his seed’??? Yeah good luck. Because he is going to edge the HELL out of you.

- [ ] He wont do it all the time dont worry, he does want to be inside you and fuck you just as much as he wants to watch you squirm for him.

- [ ] The cum thing though, let’s say hes been edging you for AGES. You’re in public and you NEED to orgasm. BADLY. You’re dripping and so fucking desperate for it. If he’s feeling nice (and you beg him so pretty for it), he will pull you to the side and maybe let you suckle his cock to taste his precum so you can orgasm finally. Or he will shove his hand down his pants and get it for you that way, sticking his wet fingers in your mouth since you’d gotten him so worked up. OR he will let you suck him off fully or will cum in your mouth, just the head of his dick past your lips while he strokes himself to you touching yourself.

- [ ] He may add or remove some stuff depending on what is too much or maybe you need a break - he’s good to you!

- [ ] If you’d like to experience a heat when he goes into a rut? Spell can take care of that.

- [ ] Extra fertility? He’s got you with the spell.

- [ ] Extra stamina or extra sensitivity? He can make that happen too.

- [ ] You being so turned on for him while he watches you squirm, waiting for you to reach your breaking point or begging point is something he will NEVER get tired of.

- [ ] You do have a safe word/phrase. This way, if you’re in public and he’s activating the spell around people, which he usually does because watching you and smelling you get so needy for him in secret is thrilling as fuck and turns him on, he doesn’t accidentally push you too far.

- [ ] That said, would he love watching you try to stifle an orgasm? Yeah. But only when he’s next to you so he can pull you into him and you can moan against him - your sounds muffled because those are FOR HIM.

- [ ] You boost his ego astronomically because of this spell, not only with your trust in him but because you WANT him just as much genuinely and not just because of the spell.

[ganondoodle]

(oh hey, we didnt have a long rant in a while, this wasnt supposed to be so long, as per usual with me ... i looked up some refs of the botw sonau ruins since i wanted to see how to combine its design to my sonau design in my totk rewrite- and this happened ... in case this sounds too angry or aggressive, its not meant like that, im not imploding about it, its just frustrating and annoying to me)

i have a problem with pretty much every inch of totk, and theres lots of big problems, and lots of things i find absolutely bafflingly stupid decisions-

one bafflingly weird and stupid decision to me, though there are way more important ones, is the nigh complete seperation from botw sonau (zonai) design aesthetic and totk sonau design aesthetic- its so .. weird and utterly unecessary it will never stop bothering me, its one that has relatively little impact in development but huge impact on the believability of the world

you have these ancient ruins of long gone people (that imo should have stayed a mystery, since that sense of lost history you cannot grasp makes both the world more believable and real feeling and will never let you stop thinking about, if you care about that kind of stuff at least- but i talked about that in length before im sure), but whats left leaves you still with a pretty clear design aesthetic, at least in the buildings that remain (the armor less so bc it really doesnt look like anythign ancient and just doesnt really fit together)

and then you make a game around them- but ... completely redesign their aesthetic .... in a rather big contrast too, for literally NO reason, there is not a single reason to do that, not even the excuse of trying to seperate the two games in their core aesthetic (like in the case of the shiekah- though that too is stupid bc ITS A DIRECT SEQUEL- IF YOU DONT WANT TO MAKE MORE OF THAT DESIGN THEME or leave it in for that matter THATS CORE TO THE PREVIOUS GAME DONT MAKE IT A DIRECT SEQUEL YOU DUM-) can do any work here, the botw sonau ruins werent many, it was background stuff, it wasnt a main theme and it didnt carry any importance in the game itself

like, botw sonau architecture was dark stone with red highlights (a color that usually fades rather quickly, imagine how strong it had to be once, maybe it was even more colorful at some point), bird, boar and dragon carvings, torches in bird shape, alot of swirls and round patterns among the blockier rough shapes, its was pretty detailed with patterns and pictures all over it --

totk sonau? blendingly white stone, all blocky shapes like unfinished blender models, not a swirl to be found, green hologram lights (or cold white light, i dont think there are any totk sonau torches, just those weird candle things- most light sources are lamps in impeccable shape all giving off that cold white light) and gold blocky script, theres rarely alot of detail on them, the pattern most often present beign a scale pattern ... one which i dont remember appearing anywhere on the botw sonau ruins in that way/that often, the only animal motif is a dragon head every now and then and it honestly feels tacked on, like they scrambled to try and connect the two in any way shape or form, white gold and green, theres nothing red anywhere, they neither connect to the botw sonau architecture nor to the one armor set- or its description, totk sonau have nothing to do with the phirone (faron) region (aside from that one quest that could have been placed anywhere), they are weirdly modern and techy, theres nothing "barbaric", not even their clothes are in any way connected (im so sick of all that gold tbh) even their magic isnt really .. magical, it all feels like science fiction type tech stuff (even though they said they wanted it to feel magical, couldnt be further from that tbh) the design of their magic symbols dont line up with their own building aesthetic or anyone elses even, its so messy

if you do the quest to get the fith sage its even more apparent- its the direct contrast between botw and totk sonau, its like a cut into a mod, theres no overlap, you cant argue that its bc the botw ruins where exposed to the elements and thats why the color differs- the totk sonau ruins left to rot both in the underground and in the literal sky are all just as if not more exposed, yet they all remain in rather good shape, all keeping the white and often completely colorless look, most damage being just some clumps of mold (?) or something having fallen over, and if they were protected so their color didnt change? wheres the red? the colors all should be in pristine shape then but its not bc there is no color

their excuse of "uuuh the hylians build those things in honor of the sonau!!" they tried to give doesnt work, like all other excuses, if they did why the hell does it look so different? sonau stuff was all over the place, you have the blueprints right there, WHY even build it? in those regions nonetheless that were of pretty little importance as far as we know, if this were the case they should be on the forgotten plateau or around hyrule castle but they are not- ALSO if the hylians built them for them .. so after they died out .. why then is there some weird mechanism with their actual aesthetic there in the ones in phirone? if they built it while they were still there ... why make it look so different?? ADDITIONALLY hyrules style of architecture is closer to the totk sonau one than the botw sonau so you cant even say it was influenced by their own style bc botws sonau is more different than both of them

it also adds to the .. feeling of something being off about the entire game (like it felt to me even shortly after starting to play), while i dont want to touch on the stupidness of how they handled totk shrines since thats another long rant i already did before, the sudden appearance of totk sonau style stuff literally everywhere (and the disappearance of anything not plot relevant shiekah bc it just went poof according to interviews and neither that nonsensical excuse nor anything in the game making sense- bc in the end they just wanted it gone and didnt care) would seem LESS weird if it was in the style of botw sonau, you know that style, its been here the whole time and more of it appearing would seem much less jarring, even if it doing so in completely non sensical ways- it would at least lessen that weirdness

i do not get why you would do that, did your designers have nothing to do so you made them make an entirely new aesthetic? did you not want your holy perfectly goodest god king to be anything but the most clean and kingly looking so you didnt even go for the barbaric idea from botw?(which i am not a fan of either) bc of course someone supposed to fill the role of perfect example of how to be good king of holy hyrule to zelda couldnt look "primitive"? was that given to the ancient hylians instead? with their designs going, to me, rather close to a mix of native american and ancient greek aesthetic (uh oh)- to contrast them to your superior alien that brought the idiots on earth technology since we didnt have enough tired tropes in here already? thought that design theme was more sellable? simply didnt care? (tbh, most likely in my eyes given the carelesness of the game to connect in any way to botw, much less in a meaningful one)

(those where written like questions but i dont expect anyone to answers for, it just sounds better)

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hi, Blusy! I hope you're well!

I have a request about reader who works for Donna whether a maid or gardener (maybe both! Why not? Capable indeed *nods*). Reader is very loyal to Donna because ofc Donna treats her well as her employer (or maybe also bc reader secretly has a crush on Donna :]c)

And this reader is also a fierce one >:] Well, the villagers always speak ill of the Lords but especially Donna. So whenever reader is in the village to do some chores, she will defend Donna verbally when someone said bad things about her. Donna knew this and fell in love secretly with reader because hey! Someone's caring for her:(

One day, someone said really really bad thing about Donna and reader got so angry she jumped and got into fist fight with that person. She got injured a little but yeah! Victory! (Maybe Heisenberg passed and stopped the fight so reader wont offed the person and he drag reader back to the manor)

Donna got so worried seeing reader injured and took care of reader injury. She asked reader not to defend her anymore bc she doesnt want reader got hurt anymore. Since then, most villagers are wary to reader even some tried to bully/hurt her now. But now it's Donna's turn to save her girl! Donna apparently followed reader bc she is worried, then when reader got abused she appeared and scares/threatened the awful villagers to protect reader!

When they get home, reader confessed her feelings to Donna because she can't hold back her feelings anymore (Donna got so happy and reciprocated ofc :3) fluff please!

Anyway, thank you for always feeding us with your writings!

Yesss!!!! Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :))))))

Loyalty

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem, Maid! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, maybe mentions of violence...

Word count: 7,711

Summary: Maybe your loyalty is not just that...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

It had been a while since going down to the basement stopped giving you the shivers.

The first few times you did it, you felt the stares of the paintings following you, a feeling of heaviness in your chest. Not even a girl like you could ignore the danger that was breathed among those old and cracked walls.

But that was only at the beginning.

Little by little you began to stop shrinking to walk faster as you headed towards your destination, to stop fearing the paintings, the shadows of that place. Maybe it was the habit, the daily routine of walking through that dark place and always surviving it. You would only fool yourself by thinking that way.

A recurring habit was not powerful enough to face the darkness of that mansion, not even if it was an act repeated several times throughout the day.

No, your face wore a smile as you walked with a tray in your hand, maybe not because of the path, but because of the destination.

Luck or misfortune: you could have thought of either the day you decided to start being independent, something really complicated in that place. A girl like you, skilled, yes, but with few options, had no choice but to bow to the power of the village, to the pressure that forced you to bow your head and serve.

Castle maid, farmer, gardener… The options that age began to mark for you were all equally tedious, equally bitter. There was no future for anyone in that place, and you were no exception. The only difference between the other young women of your age and you was simple: you accepted your future.

There were people much more loyal than you to Mother Miranda and the Lords but… At least you didn’t see them as a danger or as the shadows that kept that small village in complete darkness.

Envoys of the Black Gods, nobles… No matter how you thought about them. Somehow, those speeches, Mother Miranda's words penetrated your mind to make you understand that this was your world, and that it would never change.

With that in mind, you decided to try your luck and demonstrate your skills by doing something that few dared to do voluntarily: serve the Lords.

In the absence of another option, you went to the castle to find a place among so many maids. Everything went well. Lady Dimitrescu seemed satisfied with your skills, and, above all, with your helpful attitude.

Just when you thought that you had somehow achieved what you wanted, life surprised you with an unexpected turn. Apparently, your skills as a gardener wouldn’t be very useful in the castle; an army of maids were already taking care of the vineyards. According to Alcina Dimitrescu herself, it was a talent that couldn’t be wasted.

After a phone call, the pages of your future began to be written in a different book, in a book elegantly decorated with a sun and a moon.

Nobody knew much about the youngest of the Lords, that mysterious woman covered with a black veil, Donna Beneviento.

You knew she was dangerous, that she wasn’t right in the head, that she always carried a talking doll with her… Few information, and, in a place like that, having few information was synonymous with fear.

The lady in black needed someone to take care of the garden, and a maid wouldn’t hurt either. According to the lady of the castle, Donna needed some company. You were reluctant at first. The rumor mill of the village was a dangerous weapon that attacked whenever there was no information, and without remedy, your legs began to tremble as you walked through those grounds from which “no one had ever returned.”

You weren’t the only one who showed distrust. As you got to know the lady in black closely, you realized that you weren’t welcome, that your presence was nothing but a nuisance.

You wondered how many maids were sent to serve that woman, how many returned, none of them, possibly.

Determined to show that you were capable of serving Lady Beneviento as well as her sister, you took that first rejection as a personal challenge, showing your abilities and skills to get a chance, at least the chance to get out of that place alive.

You didn't need to insist much, since that woman didn't seem fond of conversations. Her desire for silence, or perhaps the fact that she saw in you a possibility of meeting her needs, was what finally made her hire you as her maid.

Leaving the village wasn't difficult, adapting to your new life was.

Donna was a strange, disturbed and sick woman, just as the rumors said. But there was always another dark side to every person, or, in this case, a bright side.

As time went by, you began to settle into a comfortable routine, to see that old mansion as something resembling a home. Days gave way to night and vice versa, you always opened your eyes, always woke up. You weren’t going to die.

Gardener, maid… You did a bit of everything. Cooking, cleaning, tending to the flowers, serving your mistress… Yes, it may not have been exactly what you had planned, but you couldn’t say you weren’t satisfied.

Getting to know Donna better was the hardest task. She didn’t speak. She barely looked at you at first. That forced trust of living with her was releasing little whispers of gratitude, looks that were much more intense, even through that horrible black veil.

After a year of servitude, that cloth finally disappeared, along with the desire of the lady in black to remain silent. She was… Well, maybe you weren’t exaggerating if you said she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, even more so than that portrait on the stairs.

Her voice stopped avoiding you, her beauty began to be present in your life and finally “my lady” became a simple (she wanted it that way) “Donna.”

Was she a sick and disturbed woman? Yes, she was.

Was she dangerous? You weren’t able to see to what extent.

But… Was she kind? Yes, that too.

Little by little you discovered the side of the lady in black that was never talked about, a warm smile that always accompanied your presence. You felt good in that house, she treated you well, she thanked you for everything you did, even sometimes, just sometimes, you had something resembling a conversation.

The rumors were wrong. Donna was a wonderful woman trapped in a terrifying mask, in a facade that would hold firm with everyone.

The bright side that surrounded her dark figure began to become an addiction, a constant desire to know more, to talk more, to get closer. Loyalty was something that Lady Beneviento always had from you, but… She will never know that it was linked to something else.

It didn't matter how you looked at it, the multiple interpretations of your tremors when you approached her, the frantic beating of your heart when you saw her tender smile, you were lost; you had fallen completely in love with her.

“S-Sorry to bother you,” you said in a whisper as you slowly opened the doors of the workshop where Donna worked almost tirelessly. “I brought your tea.”

“Leave it there.” Her hoarse voice reached your ears and your legs moved on their own, walking slowly to the indicated place. “Thank you.”

“Mm,” you said, nodding elegantly, unable to suppress a small bow. “I-I hope it's to your liking.”

“I'm sure it is,” the lady murmured without looking at you, focused on painting a porcelain head. “It always is, (Y/N)”

“You're very kind,” you whispered, noticing the familiar warmth of the blush on your cheeks as it coincided with her bright eye and a gentle lift of her corners.

A brief smile crossed her face, a quick, fleeting one, as if something prevented her from staring at you for longer. That was fuel for your fantasies. You wondered what she was thinking, how she felt about you, if, if… If maybe she had feelings for…

Oh, no fantasies during work hours.

“Mm,” she murmured, focused again on her dolls, thus predicting another awkward moment in which you received no orders and your body forced you to stay there, next to her.

“Well, If you don't need anything else...” you whispered with a distressed voice, turning on your heels to return to boring tasks, away from her.

“Un attimo.” Her voice again interrupted and froze your steps. “Come.”

“Oh, of course,” you said walking back to the work table.

The lady sighed, tilting her head to look better at her newly created work and then at you, as if she herself was looking for an excuse for you to stay a little longer.

You should stop twisting the truth with your fantasies...

“I need to ask you a favor, (Y/N),” she said with a low voice, looking away again.

“S-sure, I'll do whatever you ask me to,” you answered kindly, placing yourself as close to her as possible.

“Mm, you always do what I ask you, huh?” she joked subtly, cleaning the imperfections of the porcelain with a discreet smile.

“Of course, Donna,” you said confidently. “I'm your maid.”

The lady smiled more intensely, shaking her head.

“So, if I asked you to jump off the cliff... Would you do it?” she asked in a darker tone, cooling her expression.

“Um, um, I...” you stammered surprised by that question that seemed totally out of context.

Donna laughed softly, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

“It's a joke, (Y/N),” she said among shy laughs, surely seeing your disoriented expression. “Forgive me, I'm not very good at joking.”

“Wow, I was just going to tell you that maybe the water is too cold and I don't like heights very much but... Well, it's always too soon to lose my fear, right?” you said awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck.

“Mm?” the lady muttered confused, frowning.

“Um, it was a joke… I'm not very good at that either,” you said apologetically.

“I see,” she said softly, leaning back in her chair and sighing awkwardly. “Actually, what I'd like to ask you for is a bit of your time.”

“My time? Oh, sure, my time is yours,” you said with an excited smile at such an unusual request. “Do you want to talk about something?”

“Do you want to talk about something?” Donna asked back, leaving you completely confused again.

The lady in black was an expert in solitude and quite clumsy when it came to human relationships. Still, she always proved to be one step ahead of you, always showing that brilliant intelligence the rumors denied.

“No, well, yes, I don't know, it depends on what you want,” you whispered nervously.

“The Duke called this morning, he says he won't be able to come,” your lady explained, painting that porcelain face again, looking away in a disinterested manner. “What a surprise, isn't it?”

“Well, you already know him,” you commented amused. “Any excuse is good enough not to move his fat ass over here,” you joked, instantly regretting those disrespectfully informal expressions. “Oh, I mean that...”

The brunette's laughter interrupted, a soft but genuine laugh, surely encouraged by your face dead with shame and the increasingly visible trembling of your hands.

“Sei divertente…” Donna commented, shaking her head and finally leaving the head of that new doll on the table.

“I try,” you said with a voice covered with a certain pride for understanding her words in that melodic and fascinating language.

She looked at you with a frown for a moment before relaxing her expression.

“You take your work very seriously,” she murmured, looking away in a slow and slightly strange way. “I appreciate it.”

“It's the least I can do, Donna,” you said satisfied by the compliment. “Thank you for appreciating my effort.”

“Thank you for… Well, for being here with me and…” she stammered, blinking erratically and shaking her head. “I mean… I-I need you to go to the village and claim from our fat friend what he owes me.”

Your smile cooled after that order. It was always the same. When it seemed like a conversation was slowly deepening, Lady Beneviento's stoic and authoritative attitude prevented it from do it.

“Of course,” you said, bowing your head elegantly. “I'll go right now,” you said with a formal smile, turning around to end that strange encounter.

“W-Wait,” Donna interrupted, turning around abruptly to get your attention.

“Yes?” you asked as if you were waiting for something that really wasn't going to happen.

“Um... Wrap yourself up, it's a very cold day and my flowers can't live without your care,” the lady said, turning around again.

You smiled, nodding even though she couldn't see you.

“I will, Donna.”

Without wasting any more time, you set out to walk towards the village. The lady was right, that day the cold was terribly cutting.

You didn't usually leave the grounds. Nor did you have the need to remember your old life.

Although you were always reluctant to walk through the village again, especially because all your old neighbors looked at you strangely, the truth is that leaving that spiral of love and fantasy in which you lived was relaxing.

The villagers lived their lives quietly, they worked, walked, the children played... Sometimes that place seemed anything but sinister.

“Now it's my turn,” a little boy said, playing with his friends, a scene for which you slowed down your steps, looking curiously at those children. “One, two, three, four, four Lords...”

“Mm,” you murmured curiously when you heard him sing, crossing your arms and listening attentively.

“Four Lords, four fools…” he continued singing as he ran around his friends, making you frown. “One is fat, the other is ugly…”

“What?” you muttered.

Normally no one dared to insult the Lords like that, much less a child.

“The fish is disgusting and if the crazy monster catches you… Run away!” he finally shrieked, chasing his companions.

You, looking around in case someone else was listening, approached that rude child with your best intentions.

“Hey, you!” you shouted, getting his attention. “Hey!”

“Hello, miss,” the child said, standing up politely.

“Hey, what were you singing?” you asked with a slightly soft voice.

“I made that up,” he said, proudly, pointing at himself.

“Oh, really?” you asked ironically, crossing your arms. “You shouldn't say such things about the Lords, it's dangerous,” you warned in a calm voice.

“My sister says they're fools,” the boy said. “That we don't have to fear them.”

“Does your sister say that?” you asked curiously, shaking your head. “Well, I think she's wrong.”

“No, my sister is always right,” the boy said, with a childish protest, making you raise an eyebrow. “She says they're just four bad monsters, that they're not good.”

“Oh, of course…” you sighed, shaking your head.

“Are you afraid of them, miss?” he asked with the innocence of his age.

You couldn't get angry with such a young child. it wasn't fair, although it's true that you were upset by those comments. Your loyalty to… Well, to Donna, and therefore, to her siblings, was beyond any kind of doubt.

“No, and I'll tell you why,” you said, bending down a little. “Do you know that I work for one of them?”

“Really?” he asked, with his eyes wide open.

“Mm, I work for Lady Beneviento.”

“Oh, the crazy monster!” the boy shrieked, covering his mouth with his hands.

“Hey! Don't say that!” you said perhaps too abruptly, terribly offended by the way that child had of speaking of your Donna. “Don't talk about her like that, understand? Show some respect.”

“My sister says she's a monster and that she's as crazy as her family,” the boy protested just as you grabbed his arm.

“Shut up, brat, that's not true,” you growled. “I'm telling you that I work for her.”

“Is she a very ugly monster?” he asked.

“No, she's not. Lady Beneviento is a kind and beautiful woman, she's not a monster. Do you hear me? So tell your sister to shut that big mouth of hers and stop telling lies, understood?”

The boy, surely scared by your fierce attitude when defending Donna, nodded.

“Yes, miss,” he said abruptly, opening his eyes in surprise.

“Get out,” you said, letting his arm go and letting him run away in terror. “A monster… Damn it…”

You couldn't tolerate it, you just couldn't.

Your loyalty and love for Donna had long since crossed the limits of rationality. As long as you were around, no one would dare mess with her, not even a brat like that.

Thinking about the anger those comments caused you clouded your brief visit to the village. You couldn't stop thinking about what you were like before working at the mansion. You never dared to judge any of the Lords, but it's true that the only thing you knew about the lady in black were rumors very similar to the mocking chants of that child.

If only they knew her, if they knew what she was really like. Another absurd fantasy, no one in the village would ever have the privilege of knowing Donna, of knowing her intelligence, her elegance and kindness.

Sick, yes, but a wonderful woman, nothing else mattered but how she made you feel by her side. Maybe admiration and love were starting to take a toll on your judgment. Maybe you were so in love with her that you were unable to see the danger that was in front of you. No, you never felt in danger with her, even the day you arrived and she rejected you as a maid.

The rumors were just that, rumors, but ones that you couldn't change.

“You're back,” the lady said when you got home.

Your smile was always faithful to Donna, but your face emanated a certain annoyance that the woman in black noticed immediately. “Is anything wrong, (Y/N)?”

“Um, no, Donna. It's all there,” you said, downplaying your angry complaints and extending the bags to her so she could check inside.

“Mm, what about this?” she asked, taking a pot with a strange flower that you found curious out of a box.

“Oh, I bought that myself, I'd like to plant it in the garden,” you said, forgetting for a moment about the incident with the child.

“Did you ask my permission?” she asked, looking at you out of the corner of her eye as she examined the plant.

“Um, no, but...” you said, afraid of your boldness.

Her smile made your legs stop shaking.

“I’m joking, (Y/N), I see I’m unable to do it properly,” Donna murmured, setting the pot down on a table with an elegant step, turning briefly to look at you.

“Oh, yes, well…” you said nervously, setting the bags down on the floor. “I thought it was nice, that’s all.”

“Mm, you have good taste,” she commented, turning around with a smile. “Wait, let me help you.”

“No need,” you said, stopping the lady from taking the bags. “I wouldn’t let you do something like that.”

“Why not? Just because I have a maid doesn’t mean I can’t do anything, right?” she asked, roughly snatching the bags from you, a dangerous glint in her eye.

“Well, I think Alcina…” you commented briefly, remembering your friends’ experiences at the castle.

“I'm not Alcina,” Donna said, her voice close to a cry of protest, her face dark and dangerous.

If the crazy monster catches you, run away...

That child's stupid song was playing in your head irremediably.

“No, of course, that's... Obvious,” you murmured, trying to control the thoughts in your head.

“What do you mean? Speak clearly, (Y/N),” she said, walking next to you towards the living room with a suspicious look.

“Nothing, I... I'm sorry,” you said defeated, unable to think rationally.

The lady in black left the bags on a table and turned towards you, frowning and reaching out her hand until it rested on your chin, slowly raising it. The touch of her soft skin against yours was hot, but you couldn't enjoy it properly, because that closeness wasn't a good thing, normally.

“Mm, you're such a liar,” she commented, letting you go coldly, making you blink in confusion.

“What? Oh, Donna, no, I don't know why you say that,” you said, scared by that accusation.

“I asked you if something was wrong and you lied to me, it's obvious that something is bothering you,” Donna said in a somewhat smug tone, but she was completely right.

“It's nothing,” you said, smiling falsely.

“Are you going to keep lying?” she asked, arching her eyebrow and crossing her arms. “I thought you were a sincere girl.”

“Okay, okay, I…” you began. Your loyalty was much greater than your shame, or your fears. You couldn't hide anything from her. “There-There was a brat in the village, a little boy who was singing… A song…”

Donna nodded for you to continue.

“The song was about you, about the Lords and… They weren't exactly nice words,” you said, lowering your head. The doll maker's expression didn't change at all. “So I told him to stop disrespecting you and… He said… Horrible things about… About you…”

“Mm,” she murmured, tilting her head in curiosity.

“I just feel helpless seeing that some people think you're a… A…” you said, in a small voice.

“A monster,” she finished, with a cold but apparently calm tone.

“Yes…” you whispered embarrassed.

“Do you think I care what they say about me in the village?” she asked in a dark tone as if deep down her own words were a lie.

“No, but…”

“You do care, why?” she asked again, coming a little closer, with an expression that moved away from darkness to curiosity. “You don't need to defend me, it's not your job.”

“I know but... It's just that I...” you stammered, wanting to bury yourself underground and not come out for years. “I really care what they say about you.”

“Why?” she insisted mercilessly.

“Because I know they're wrong,” you whispered, briefly looking into her bright eye.

Silence was the lady's response. Donna moved away slowly from that intense gaze, as if she didn't want to do it.

“Um, I should, I should short this,” you said after a moment of silence, of furtive and strange glances, one in which the lady didn't move, as if she were a portrait, a statue, a ghost...

“Angie, help her,” the lady whispered, pointing to the doll, which was swinging its legs on a sofa.

“What!? Hey, silly Donna! She's the maid!” the puppet protested, approaching you and the bags.

The lady in black didn't answer. She simply walked towards the elevator hallway, stopping briefly before disappearing.

“(Y/N),” she said, distracting you from your attempt to keep the doll from messing everything up.

You looked up with pleading eyes, eager for some word, for something that seemed to want to come out of her lips.

“Donna?” you asked with a sigh, feeling a pang in your heart as you stared into her eye, knowing that she was looking at you.

“I…” she murmured distractedly, without looking away. “Be careful with Angie, she likes glass jars too much,” she said with a different tone, disappearing quickly through the door and leaving you sighing again, your shoulders slumping in disappointment.

“Y-Yeah, sure,” you muttered, looking away from the hallway. “Hey!” you shrieked, snatching a jar of tea leaves from the doll.

“You think I'm going to help you, you silly, silly? Let's see if you can catch me!” the doll shrieked, laughing sinisterly and running away with the jar.

At least you were able to distract yourself from that awkward encounter.

It might seem like something had changed in the mansion after that kind of veiled and indirect confession, but it wasn't. There was some tension between you, more than usual. Donna didn't usually talk, but when she did, her voice was stoic, regal and elegant.

Stuttering from the lady, and phrases and questions with less sense than usual served to make your loving heart believe that this act of loyalty had had some effect. Surely you were totally wrong.

The days passed without remedy, becoming more and more a torture, a feeling of helplessness in loving Donna, knowing that this feeling would never be reciprocated even though sometimes you liked to think the opposite.

You should start thinking about forgetting your fantasies, and focus on reality. Being with her was much better than confessing and being rejected, or something worse.

The desire to forget that impossible love accompanied you during another of your trips to the village. It was something horrible to feel, but seeing her smile, hearing her melodic voice, became your joy for living.

“Well…” you sighed as you walked through the quiet streets, seeing that, just like yours, the village's routine was still a tedious succession of days and nights of work.

“Hey, you!” An unpleasant shout interrupted your thoughts.

A young girl, more or less your age, approached you quickly, with an annoyed expression.

“My name is not you,” you said mockingly, crossing your arms.

“I don't care about your name, stupid,” the girl growled, with her hands on her hips.

You were never good at putting up with rudeness or discourtesy, and besides, you weren't in the mood to do so, not that day.

“Leave me alone, will you?” you said, pushing that unpleasant girl away. “Unlike you, apparently, I have things to do.”

“Don't you know who I am?” the young lady asked, grabbing your arm to stop you from continuing.

“Mm, no, I don't have the pleasure,” you said ironically, starting to lose patience.

You had too many things on your mind to put up with the stupid insults of a random villager.

“I’m Marcus's sister, the boy you yelled at the other day,” she explained, catching your attention. “How dare you yell at my little brother?”

“Your little brother was insulting the Lords, I did him a favor,” you said arrogantly, looking at your nails with contempt. “You should know that it is dangerous to put those ideas in the head of such a young child.”

“Are you going to tell me how I have to act with my brother?” the girl growled, clenching her fists. “Of course, how could I not expect that from a servant of those monsters...”

You rolled your eyes, trying to make a graceful escape again, something you failed to do.

“Are you jealous?” you challenged with a sly smile.

“Jealous? Please, if I had to work for any of them I would probably rather die,” she played along.

“Very well,” you said, nodding passively and pushing her away with your shoulder.

Her grip returned to your wrist, further exhausting your patience.

“You are Beneviento's little whore, aren't you?” she asked, making you turn around sharply. “Now I understand those stupid ideas you put in my brother's head.”

“Mm, maid sounds much better, don't you think?” you said, crossing your arms.

Talking about Donna was the worst thing that stupid girl could do… The bad thing for her is that she didn't know.

“Maid, whore, it's the same,” she said, with a mocking smile, coming a little closer. “Don't your knees hurt?”

“Doesn't your brain hurt from not using it?” you asked back, blinking cockily. “Leave me alone.”

“Not so fast…” she hissed again, standing in front of you to stop you from walking. “I think you owe me an apology. My brother came home saying that crazy Beneviento woman was a good person.”

“Yes, that's right,” you said, clenching one of your fists when you heard the word crazy next to her last name. “I didn't tell him any lies.”

“You know it well, huh?” the girl mocked, walking around you like a vulture. “Doesn't it disgust you to serve someone like her?”

“Doesn't it disgust you to look at yourself in the mirror?” you answered, your breathing becoming more agitated.

Anyone could mess with you all they wanted, but with Donna… Not with her, ever.

“You should ask your crazy darling that…” she hissed, laughing sinisterly. “Oh, yes, I’m sure she’s even uglier than the rumors say… Surely that’s why she wants you, isn’t it? Oh, maid, tell me how beautiful I am, tell me, tell me.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, gritting your teeth.

“Are you threatening me? How bold…” the young lady mocked, with a nasty expression. “You’re nothing but a monster’s whore…”

“I said…” you whispered, taking a breath. “Shut the fuck up!” you shrieked, grabbing the collar of her dress. “Apologize!”

“Hey, let me go, you fucking moron! You're just like her!” the girl protested as your grip tightened, catching the attention of several villagers, who were murmuring around you.

“Apologize!” you repeated furiously. “Donna is not a monster!”

“Oh, you defend her…. Of course, now I understand,” she said laughing amused, without making any effort to get away from your grip. “I'm not going to apologize, she's a monster! An ugly and crazy monster!”

“Arrgh!” you growled angrily, headbutting the girl hard, making her fall to the ground with a cry of pain.

“Damn it…” she protested, holding her battered nose. “You'll pay for this!”

The young woman lunged at you, knocking you down with a strong punch to the eye that you weren't expecting, unleashing a furious fight in the snow that the villagers watched in astonishment.

“She's not a monster!” you screamed, struggling with the girl, hissing in pain from that unexpected blow, pulling her hair while she kicked you with her knee. “Shit!”

The girl knocked you down again, bringing her hands to your neck, but you managed to turn the tables with another painful headbutt, climbing on top of her body and hitting her furiously.

“Apologize! Come on! Apologize!” you screamed, noticing how your opponent's strength diminished with each blow. “APOLOGIZE!”

“Shhh, hey, hey, hey...” A soft voice followed by a tug on your dress pulled you away from the almost unconscious girl. “Enough, you little brawler…”

Behind you, holding you tightly, was one of Donna's brothers, Karl Heisenberg, who prevented you from crawling back towards the girl.

“You bitch!” you shrieked, resisting against the Lord’s grip.

“Hey, hey, come on, sweetheart… You've already won,” the metal man said, squeezing you tighter. “Wait a minute, oh, oh, oh, wait… You're Donna's doll, aren't you?”

“Maid!” you shrieked still furious but giving up on your attempts to return to finish what you started. “Let me go!”

“Yes, yes… That's it,” Heisenberg mocked, comically picking you up in his arms and leaning you on his shoulder, holding your legs while you hit his back.

“What are you doing? Put me down!” you protested as he walked holding you. The pain from the blow reached your head, making you dizzy, causing a few red drops to fall into the snow as the man carried you back to the mansion.

“What a mood, now I understand why Donna doesn't stop talking about you,” he murmured as you entered the forest. “You like getting into trouble, huh?”

“That bitch asked for it,” you hissed, giving up and grabbing your nose while rubbing your injured eye. “She hates you all.”

“Well, well… We can't please everyone, right?” he commented, laughing amused.

“She messed with Donna,” you said in a low voice, unleashing a sinister laugh from the Lord as you went up the elevator.

“You’re not just pretty, you're loyal… I like you,” he joked, with the waterfall already in front of you. “But I think poor Donna would be upset if her doll… broke, don't you think?”

“She doesn't care about me as much as I do about her,” you said with an involuntary sob, making the man stop, lowering you to the ground in front of the mansion.

“You think so? Let's check it out,” he said amused, looking at you over his glasses as he climbed the stairs of the mansion with you. “Hi! Donna!”

After a few moments, the lady opened the door, covered in her black veil, with her Angie doll in her arms, a sight you hadn't seen for a while.

“Ciao, bella, I think this is yours,” he said, playfully pushing you towards the mansion.

“Gods, (Y/N)…” the lady gasped, surely seeing your wounds. “(Y/N)… What happened?”

“Your little doll had gotten into a fight, or so it seems,” Karl commented, looking suspiciously at the doll, who was silently mocking him. “Fortunately, I arrived in time.”

“(Y/N), who did this to you? Speak!” the woman in black demanded, forgetting her reluctance to speak with her own voice in front of others.

You, embarrassed and hurt, didn't answer. You simply shook your head.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Karl interrupted, while the brunette's hand gently passed over your wounded face, a sensation that unfortunately, you couldn’t enjoy. “I mean that I arrived in time to prevent (Y/N) from leaving us with one less villager…”

“What?” the lady asked. “(Y/N)?”

“Take good care of her, Donna… You don't see maids as faithful as her nowadays,” Karl said, gesturing with his hand and walking away from the mansion.

“Gods, your face… C-come, let's heal you,” the lady said, taking off her veil and dragging you to the basement.

Silence became your only companion. Donna healed you thoroughly and painfully while you were unable to keep her gaze. It was a heavy, uncomfortable and tense silence, much more than usual.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” the lady asked softly, as she passed a cotton ball over one of your wounds, making you hiss in pain.

“It's not important,” you murmured, holding back a tear.

The lady lowered her hand, staring at you, lifting your chin, something that slowly became a habit.

“You know I hate when you lie to me,” she whispered, squeezing your chin but letting it go instantly. “Oh, Gods... Your eye...”

“Ah,” you protested when a cream made contact with the bruise that had already sprouted. “I, just... I wanted... I wanted...”

“Mm?”

“That stupid girl said... She said horrible things and... I wanted her to shut up, I just wanted her to stop talking and...” you stammered, with your voice broken by sobs.

“Horrible things about what, (Y/N)?” Donna asked, with a soft voice, much sweeter than usual.

“About you,” you said looking away, preventing her from continuing to heal you.

“About me… So Karl wasn't lying, you're loyal, aren't you?” Donna said with a smile, guiding your head to look at her again. “(Y/N), I told you that no matter what they say about me, it's not your duty to defend me.”

“Yes, it is,” you protested, clenching your sore fist. “Those stupid people don't know you.”

“I don't want them to,” she commented, with a serious expression, cleaning another of your wounds. “I don't want you to keep doing stupid things like this, is that clear? It's not your duty as a maid.”

“It's my duty as a person,” you corrected with a brusque tone. “I… I can't stand people seeing you as a monster… You're not a monster…”

“So, what am I?” she said, blinking in confusion.

“You're… You're…” you whispered, swallowing the correct continuation of that sentence: you're the love of my life. “You're important to me.”

“Mm,” she murmured, with apparent disinterest. “You are important to me too.”

At those words, you looked up and opened your eyes when you felt a soft caress on your cheek, an erratic caress of her hand on your skin, aimless, meaningless, but comforting. Automatically your bodies approached each other slowly, guided by an invisible force that disappeared when the lady shook her head and cleared her throat.

“T-That's precisely why I want you to forget about this matter and not to do something stupid like that again…” she murmured, putting away the first aid kit and quickly moving her hand away, cooling your skin.

“I…”

“Promise me,” the doll maker said abruptly, getting up from the chair without looking at you.

“I… Okay, okay… I promise,” you finally said, playing with your hands, running your fingers over your injured knuckles.

That, that would be the only thing you couldn't promise her, that you would stop being faithful to her, whatever the consequences.

Donna sighed, running a hand through her hair and closing the medicine cabinet, looking at you over her shoulder.

“(Y/N), I don't want to lose you…”

Closer and closer, and further and further away… The time that passed after that fight could be summed up like this. Donna's trust in you didn't diminish, the smiles increased, subtle caresses appeared in your life to confuse you, but it never went any further.

 Your brave but cowardly nature didn't allow you to tell the truth, for her to understand the reason for the irrationality of your actions. Maybe she would never do it, maybe you were doomed to live that love in dreams, in fantasies... You should get used to the idea.

“(Y/N),” Donna interrupted you when you were going out the door to go to the village.

“Tell me,” you said with a kind smile, with the trace of that fight almost invisible on your face.

“Remember your promise,” the lady whispered, putting a hand on your shoulder and giving you a smile.

“Of course,” you said nodding, slowly separating yourself from her. “Relax, I won't get into trouble.”

“Fine, ciao, (Y/N),” she said, with a distrustful expression, accompanying you out of the gate of the mansion, not losing sight of you.

Something had changed in the tedious routine of the villagers. Her eyes deviated from their tasks to discreetly rest on yours. The murmurs had eclipsed the usual bustle, mysteriously coinciding with your slow and calm step.

“It's her... The crazy woman who serves Beneviento...”

“She must be worse than her. She almost killed that girl just because she insulted her...”

You heard loose phrases without importance, and the promise you made to Donna was fixed in your mind. You tried to distract yourself from those unpleasant rumors, but it was impossible, especially when you were already returning to the mansion and heard footsteps behind you.

“Well, well, well...” a mocking voice reached your ears, forcing you to stop.

That stupid girl was there, with a sinister smile, her face still marked by your blows. But she wasn’t alone. She was surrounded by a couple of boys visibly stronger than her.

Showing off your anger control, you ignored them, continuing on your way.

“Hey, hey, hey… Where are you going?” one of the boys said, walking in front of you. “Are you going back to your crazy darling?”

“Leave me alone,” you said unpleasantly, walking away from them again.

“Not so fast, stupid,” the girl muttered, gesturing to the boy in front of you to grab you tightly by the arms.

“Hey, let me go!” you shrieked, struggling against him and dropping the basket where you were carrying your purchases. “Hey!”

“You're not so brave now, are you?” the girl muttered, slowly approaching you. “I'm afraid there won't be anyone to protect you today, stupid…”

“Mmm,” you growled, trying unsuccessfully to release yourself from the grip.

“I think I owe you one…” the girl continued, brandishing her fist and throwing it against your stomach, making you writhe in pain. “That's for the humiliation… And this…” she commented while you hissed. “This is for me!”

The second punch was going straight to your face, but in a reflex action, you managed to duck, causing the girl's fist to hit her friend comically, giving you a few moments to escape.

You ran, with those three people chasing you among laughs. The blow to your stomach affected your resistance and your vision of the road, making you corner yourself against a dead end.

“Come, you filthy rat… We have something to tell you…” the girl mocked, guarded by her two friends, who rubbed their fists. “You're nothing but the whore of a… Of a…” she said, inches away from your body, which was held again by one of the boys.

The girl stammered, unable to say a word.

“Hey, Olga, are you okay?” one of the boys asked, putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She shook her head.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, pushing him away and coming closer again. “What was I saying? Ah, yeah… A mons… Ah!” she suddenly shrieked, falling to the ground and curling up on herself. “Help!”

“What’s going on?” the boy holding you asked.

“Can’t you see it, you idiot? Spiders, there are spiders everywhere!” the girl shrieked, making you blink in astonishment.

“I don’t see anything,” the other boy said, scratching his head in confusion. “Oh, shit, Uncle Fred!” he shrieked, pointing at an ordinary tree. “Don’t kill me!”

“Oh, no… I hate snakes…” the boy holding you said, letting you go of and hitting himself to get rid of an invisible enemy.

You watched the scene stunned, confused until you saw a black shadow approaching slowly: Donna.

“Donna…” you sighed as you saw the veiled figure getting closer and closer, with an elegant walk, holding Angie in her arms.

“Shit…” the girl protested, also looking at the lady. “Lady Be-Beneviento…”

“Oh, you are respectful now, aren't you?” Angie mocked while the lady bent down towards the frightened girl, roughly grabbing her by the collar of her clothes.

“Oh, shit, shit, I'm sorry… Don’t, don't kill me,” she sobbed desperately while enduring the cold gaze of the lady. “Please, don't…”

“Touch her again and you'll wish I did,” Donna hissed, in her own voice, with a darkness that even gave you chills.

“Of course my lady, yes, my lady,” the unpleasant girl said desperate and terrified.

You were really enjoying that.

“Vai… Get lost!” the lady in black shrieked, releasing the girl, who, along with her friends, ran away in terror.

When their screams of terror were silenced, the lady approached you, offering you her hand to help you up.

“Tutto bene?” she asked, helping you shake the snow off your clothes.

“Yes, I think so…” you sighed in relief, with a grateful smile. “But, but, what are you doing here?”

“I followed you,” she said, turning and indicating for you to walk with her back to the mansion.

“Oh, um…” you murmured.

“Don't be mistaken. It's not that I distrusted you but… I thought you might be in danger,” Donna explained, walking slowly beside you.

“You're welcome, huh?” the doll protested, moving mockingly in her owner's arms.

“Thank you,” you whispered with a strange blush on your cheeks. “Thank you very much, Donna.”

“Mm,” she murmured, nodding coldly.

The walk was silent, but not at all ordinary.

The two of you walked together, too close, making your hands brush with each of your steps until, in an unpredictable way, they came together, intertwining, playing with your fingers until they were joined. Neither of you said a word, you simply let yourselves be carried away by that involuntary act that perhaps wasn't so involuntary.

Enjoying the touch of her hand in yours was finally a pleasure that wasn’t repressed. A smile adorned your face, but you didn't know if hers too. You had been imagining a walk hand in hand with her for so long, imagining how it would end the smile in her face when she felt your hand in yours.

You couldn't stand it anymore.

“Donna, I...” you said, stopping your walk, with the waterfall already sounding in the background. “I want, I want to tell you something.”

The lady also stopped, separating her hand from yours and facing you slowly, nodding in an elegant way.

“I’m listening,” she whispered through her veil.

“Um, could you, could you take it off?” you asked shyly, pointing to the black fabric that covered her beauty. “I wish I could look at you.”

“Va bene,” she whispered, obeying your request, revealing a seemingly indifferent face.

“I don't know how to tell you but... I, I didn't defend you just because I was your maid or because I was loyal... Well, I’m loyal, I will always be loyal to you, that's indisputable, but...”

“You're babbling again,” she said, with a tender smile, gently lifting your chin as she took a step towards you.

“Yes, I... What I mean is that... I go mad when people mess with you, when they say you're... Horrible things because... Because... I'm madly in love with you, Donna,” you confessed, closing your eyes to avoid her impatient gaze.

“What?” she asked, frowning, an unexpected reaction to your confession. “No, that's impossible.”

“Is it impossible for me to love you? Well, then... I must be able to do impossible things,” you said confused and nervous, looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time. “You can, you can do whatever you want with me but... I really love you, I love you and...”

You couldn't continue talking. The lady in black grabbed your neck, gently pulling you until her lips crashed against yours in a wet, slow, almost clumsy kiss. Maybe clumsy, but it said much more than any babbling.

The sound of Angie's giggle next to your lips’ as they parted caused a smile in both of you, caused your cowardly hands to dare to cup her face between them, her eye to stare at yours.

“Do you really love me?” Donna asked, with a soft whisper, caressing your face, lowering her hands to your waist to bring you closer to her body.

“I really do,” you said dryly, running your hands over her dress, over her shoulders, enjoying those caresses that you imagined so many times.

“Me too, and, and I thought that you would never... Oh, (Y/N)... Ti amo...” she said with another whisper, placing her lips on yours again. “Listen, I don't want you to be my maid anymore, (Y/N), I want you to be… My lady… Would you like that?”

“That's… That's the only thing I want, Donna…”

[fairys-dream]

vent about the nb experience..(referencing some wolvie panels from What If?…1989, issue #93)

i consider my views on my 'gender' very unique compared to others, to the point where i believe using any words to attempt to describe my experience would get misunderstood. due to that, i dont belong in any boxes, so its hard to exist within the queer community at all(cuz of everyone relying on labels)

hunter or hunted. predator or prey. man or beast. male or female. man or woman. guy or girl. butch or femme. gay or lesbian. cis or trans. gender or genderless.

im at the point where i consider myself more 'beast' than the sort of man i was, or thought i was supposed to be. yet, i still have ties to some kind of experience, so im not entirely without gender...its like. everyone else around me puts their gender first, while i put myself first, and that other stuff is just extra. i dont consider my 'male' features as a guy thing, its just how my body looks. i dont consider the words i use as being my gender, its just how i attempt to communicate my emotions

'so are u nonbinary in a fag way or a dyke way? u cant lack a side entirely.'

this is kinda why i identified with fag for so long..but lately i havent even been considering myself gay or trans anymore, just existing without needing to put a label on how i feel(tho tbh ive considered just picking heterosexual for the Bit, due to my attraction to those with physically the opposite sex to me. an extension of the Bit would also be to switch my sex label back to F, but that’d likely get me kicked outta some airports..X would be pretty good too)

my experience is still undeniably queer no matter what i say about myself. ive been on hrt for almost 7 years, ive had top surgery, ive changed my legal name n sex, i pass as ‘male’ no matter how i dress or how much makeup i put on, how could i be allowed to use any other words if ive done all the things that lock me into a queer lifestyle? do i even get the choice to not be such at this point?

why do we divide different human experiences up into 2 different sides anyway?

ig thats why i feel so attached to logan. he doesnt belong with humans, and he doesnt belong with mutants. he could pass as both, normal or queer, but on the inside he knows theres still always gonna be something disconnected about himself that keeps him from truly feeling at home in either categories

ngl i probably just need some nonqueer friends again who dont know shit about any queer experiences so i can trust theyre not making any assumptions. being in the queer community this past decade has been the most alienated ive ever fucking felt, trying to find home in a place where by all means of logic i should belong, and never getting there. i think i'd rather just be seen as a mutant thru the eyes of those who confidently dont understand, rather than those who think they do due to being in the same community(this isnt saying i havent enjoyed my queer friends company, its just theres always this underlying layer of worry in the way im being viewed ig)

this bit from fight club describes it pretty well i think—

its knowing that others are likely only loving me due to the familiarity in false perceptions of me, trusting me only cuz they think we share the same experience

i dunno. im just tired of people perciving me n thinking they know me just based on some words. i wish i could describe myself in a way where u could.

[purrplpng]

What is your opinion on Beast x Ancient?

sighhh deep down i knew someday ill have to answer this question😞

i dont really like participating in ship discourses and it turned out a little longer than i thought, so im placing it undercut for those who are interested enough to read what i think

the answer is that its not for me. at least not in a romantic way. at least not for now. i was never really a fan of ships with complicated/toxic dynamics or hero x villain or rivals at all. for example, i never liked billford or tomtord or even sonadow and stuff like that. not that theyre entirely bad, its just not for me and gives me discomfort, because i was in toxic relationships myself and i just can't help but associate them with my personal experience. this includes beast x ancient and even some of the beast x beast too with the way i portay beasts characters in my mind, but its not about them

honestly, i am not really into shipping in general as i cant really understand or process the concept of shipping in my mind as a whole, if it makes sense. like i personally never truly understood the exact point of it nor felt the urge to ship. but i do understand that shipping plays a huge role in every fandom and its just how it is, people having fun, even if i am somewhere far away from all this. ofc i drew a couple of 'shipey' things out of pure joke or to play with some dynamics for fun (ex. my shadowbill animation and buttervelvet post), but never went any further than that. doesnt mean that i dont ship anything at all, trust me, i actually love some ships, but its not like HUGE for me and is very rare, it's just very difficult to explain exactly

dont get me wrong, id LIE if i said that i dont like to see beasts and ancients interact with each other. id lie if i said i dont enjoy the possibility of many interesting scenarios between them and an idea of slow redemption arcs either. all these parallels and tragic doomed soulmates stuff is SICK AF, i like their dynamics and contrasts between the characters. their bond is like a foundation of life itself; their virtues cannot exist without each other, no matter how much they like it or not and theyre complete opposites, but at the same time theres NO ONE whos is more similar to them than they are to each other. all of them are the only perfect match to confront each other and its such a peak cinema i wish more people didnt sleep on, because theres SO much you can do with it💔

unfortunately, i saw a lot of people romantize/fetishize very weird things iykwim... ive seen some HORRENDOUS bad terrible uncomfortable stuff i wish i didnt, that i clearly dont support and dont interact with :( it even made me block some of the tags. and while im still here, i want to remind that i have pr0ship in my dni, so if youre a pr0shipper reading this, please, unfollow/block me, because ive seen some interacting with my posts before😞

and just to add, of course i know that most of beast x ancient shippers dont do that, because some of my online AND irl friends i knew for YEARS and i sure know they wouldnt hurt a fly in their life and dont approve of such things at all either, liked beast x ancient, but i still prefer not to engage with it anyway just in case. lets just say i am extremely neutral/apathetic to everything unless its something bad and harmful

thank you for listening to my little yap session, i hope any of it made sense, i am not really much of a public talker honestly and interacting with any fandoms and people in it usually gives me some kind of anxiety and mixed feelings, because im struggling with comprehending peoples attention. its been like that for years and ongoing even now, but im really trying to open up a little as a person and not just a rando who usually drops their drawings once in a while and disappears until the next time lol

[theartisticdoofus]

ok, so i WAS writing a continuation to my bsd x wtdsik fanfic 'baby ineed a drink' but it literally wont come out right i am crying how do fanfic writers do this, itis so incoherant, it jumps randomly, no continuity at all so instead i'm writing what the ada thinks of iruma right here instead. maybe i'll continue the fanfic LATER. Ok, so

Kunikida: this is what spawned my idea for just making a post about this in the first place. Iruma is greedy and wants everyone to be happy. he's kind and compassionate and he wants to do what Kunikida has accepted he can't.

Save everyone.

I think kunikida would think of iruma as a youngster who doesn't understand how the world works yet. he would be approving of iruma's kindness but dismissive of his ambitions and ideals as unable to compromise with reality. because kunikida learnt what it means to not be able to save everyone the hard way. i think he would sit iruma down and try to teach him. i think iruma (the current one if he doesn't relapse) would keep it in mind but cling onto his own ideal, his own ambitions. it is not very satifying to kunikida.

for everyone else, kunikida has to accept that his ideals can't be forced onto others because they dont have those specific goals or are just generally too flawed for it. For iruma, he has to accept that this child will attept carry out the most unattainable ideals no matter what. it will be fraught and i love thinking about it.

Atsushi: um. well. i think atsushi and iruma would get along well. like, that scene in beast where atsushi and aku just talks about the bullshit they went through during their childhoods and are friendly to each other for like. 10 minutes. that. Iruma sees himself in Atsushi, and Atsushi sees himself in Iruma. they are very different from each other and yet so similar. they would get along well i think and talk about dealing with their trauma and how it still affects them. the terrifying fact that they might not have survived without it. they would know not to get too deep.

Kyouka: these two are very similar. Kyouka was pretty much exploited by the Port Mafia for her ability at a young age and told she was good for nothing but killing. iruma was exploited by his parents and told that he should say yes to everything. they both have very deep trauma and are trying to get past it. but for how they actually interact, they are the only somewhat normal 14 year olds (Kenji is... he doesnt count) and iruma is used to talking to people his age now. kyouka would like having someone who just talks to her normally like another kid and its also someone who reminds her of Atsushi. i would be good for her to have someone around her own age she can talk to and who wouldnt be chased away by her assasin past. they would be good friends and maybe even open up to each other one day and when they do, they would help each other heal.

Yosano: She would really like Iruma, i think. They are, similarly to kyouka, two children exploited and traumutized for an adult's gain. Iruma's childhood literally just started at age 14 and before that there's nothing but trauma. Yosano was forced to be a medic in a war and watched her patients slip through her fingers because she couldnt save them and if she could save them, they died on the inside anyways. Yosano would admire Iruma's spirit and determination to get what he wants. does she believe he can? i dont know. but they get along fine (Iruma deals with demons on a daily basis, the agency's weirdness is slightly noteworthy but generally just another day for him) and if he gets injured, yosano just gives him an injection that half kills him instead of doing it herself.

Tanizaki: we dont know a lot about him, but he would really just do everything he can to help iruma out. but when he hears about what iruma's parents did, unlike kunikida who just wants to give them a lifetime sentence or government handled execution, he wants to kill them himself. this is because iruma's story reminds him of what happened to Kyouka and potentially Yosano and he is crazy protective of those he cares for.

Dazai: I'm not very sure about how to go about this. in the context of my fic, Dazai also got information out of iruma that helped him find the mole in the port mafia so he also owes iruma at least dinner. i think that chuuya would just dump iruma on his desk with money, go 'i'm not dealing with this, you deal with it' and dazai would act like he doesn't remember iruma just to tick chuuya off. iruma would then fucking prostrate before him and ask for his help with all the determination in his little heart and make fucking dazai feel ashamed or even embarrased for once in his life.

Fukuzawa: first, Fukuzawa is concerned about his childhood and promises the agency will do all they can to help him get home. he is also regretful that iruma was adpoted by demons because he would genuinely fit in great at the agency. iruma is also grandchild material.

[patatasyqueso]

pierce HCs and backstory plss

This is what I think his backstory could be u don't have to think the same and if y'all have thoughts on that I would love to hear it!

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Backstory:

Ever since Pierce was little his father was training him to be a warrior.He doesn't remember his mother that well.Last thing he remembers is her going for training and never going back.The weird thing is that his father didn't even mention anything about it no matter how much he was asking.All he got was "Let your mother be a reminder that this is what happens when you let kindness take over" but nothing more.

His father was the general of the kingdom(Asch's one)at the time so it was natural of him to become the next one.Considering how Daemos can be it wasn't that bad.You live inside the kingdom walls , you have a place to sleep, you have decend food.If you ask him how his life was before he would just say training because that all he did.He trained and trained and eventually did become the next general.Unfortunately to the terrible cost of losing his father in a battle like a true warrior.

So he did.He did become the general like 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙.The difference between him and his father were that he couldn't stand the sight of his men dying in front of his eyes.His father was enough.One day he couldn't take it anymore.He asked the king for a lower position and got to be Rhal's knight.It wasn't that bad at first considering the stuff he heard from maids about him going mad man at times but as time passed he did realize it was true the hard way.Luckily he got moved to be his younger brother's Asch knight because Rhal suggested it once he got 'bored' of Pierce.

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Headcanons:

1.Mitski and Lana Del Ray number1 fan trust.Wherever someone hears the kind of music he listens they would ask "Hey do you need a hug by any chance?"

2.He pats Ava on the head because that's what his mother did to him to calm him down when he was younger.

3.Doesnt talk much because he thinks that his voice won't matter.He thinks that even if he says something it won't make a difference.Plus all his life he was given orders and not a chance to speak for himself or give his opinion so he stuck with "yes".

4.He loves looking at the sky on Earth because it's so different from Daemos.Sure both had stars and moon but to him it didn't look so lifeless all the time.(After some time Ava taught him about different planets and astronomy and he fell in love with it.

5.He struggles with loyalty a lot.Being a strong person and doing the things he regrets.(most came from his father teaching him undying loyalty but he began to question it a lot after his death)

6.He got a lot of people's attention romantically on Earth and almost every time he's out with Ava and someone ask for his number or the typical things someone asks when flirting he just goes back to Ava leaving people assume that they're a couple.The reason he does that is not only because Ava said not to talk to strangers but because he's the first woman he talked to more romantically and feels comfortable with her in a way.

7.Multiple times he ended up being on those 'TikTok do your work and help me find this man video's. (Even on a newspaper one time)

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Soo this is what I have for now I hoped u liked it!I rlly enjoy these asks things and would love if u guys send more! (I'm definitely not desperate)

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☆Have a nice morning/day/afternoon/night!☆

[chericherilvr]

heyyy I guess I'm back for another therapy session lmaoo. But this time my ask might be really morbid so you can totally refuse to write about this. It's a complete 180 from ur recent jungsu fic (which was sooo good btw. I love your writing style!!).

So I have a habit of crying whilst sleeping whenever I have a bad dream. Those dreams are usually about someone close to me passing away (dw tho I am definitely mentally okay but sometimes these dreams happen out of nowhere).

I was thinking reader has one of those dreams, starts crying and is woken up by one of the XH members and is comfroted by them (I'm jiseok biased but u can pick anyone for this). At that moment reader doesnt tell him that they dreamed of losing him but later the next day they do. The member, not fully grasping what reader meant by 'losing' him, tries to reassure them that he aint going anywehre and that they wont ever 'lose' him but reader is like "no but I will eventually lose you one day" and he finally understands what they meant. Then they both have a realisation that the ultimate pain of love is death (this is so angsty and long im sorryyy).

the human mortality | gaon x reader

summary: jiseok comforts you when everything feels scary, even death. w/c: 1,6k warnings: mentions of death, big talk on it, angst with comfort, one suggestive comment at the end. oh lord I'm afraid I side ranted my way into 1,6k words, and I enjoyed it way too much. a/n: oh lord, you aren't ready anon… part one (can be read as a stand alone): the human experience.

Humans are so easy to kill. We have so many weak points—a simple snap on the neck, walking on the wrong path, so many veins that one paper cut on the wrong place, and you're gone. We all die at some point.

It's not easy to come to terms with that. And, even when you think you have, you truly don't. No one expects death, it's impossible to do so. I once read a book "When breath becomes air" just as when Paul thought he came into terms with his death, he started the grieving process—back to square one. Denial.

Most people I've met are scared of The Death card in tarot. Almost as if a card itself could kill you at that moment—it probably could, we're weak. But it's still my favourite card on the whole deck. It talks about change. Something ought to die before new and better can flourish. Whenever I see it, I smile at people and softly tell them, "your body won't die, but a version of you will, get ready to grief."

The grieving process happens at any and every change. No matter how big, no matter how small. A simple road being blocked for the day could trigger your process. I find how we humans feel so deeply fascinating. We take it all for granted that, a simple change, can make us spiral.

Humanity's biggest fault, mortality.

I don't know when it started. The realisation that some changes can't ever heal. A road will come back. A phone is meaningless. A plushy from childhood still lives in pictures and can be recreated. A person can't. We're not Mary Shelly, we cannot create Frankenstein.

My first contact with death was when I was born. The biggest and the scariest change of them all: when we get ripped away from our life force. All we've known to that point was comfort. Now, when born, we are demanded to exist on our own.

My first contact with human death came way later. It came as I was laying unconscious. The moon shining upon my mother's face. Her hand coldly holding mine. The walk home never felt as quiet as before, until we loudly heard it. Bang! I held the hand of my dying mother as her body fell. As a kid, I saw my mother die. And, as a kid, I woke up trembling, and I begged my mother to sleep with me that day.

She was still there when I woke up. And she still was there long after. A change that never happened—yet fear crept around me every so often. It whispered. At any moment, everyone could be gone. Are they alive? Death never occurred, but its presence was more alive than any of the people I've seen die in my dreams.

Humanity's biggest fault, we love way too much.

Now I lay awake next to you, and I softly stare at your face. Every so often I check that you're still breathing, and I pray that you are. At this point, I don't even remember how you died. Was it by stabbing? Did you choke to death? But I still feel the tears stained on my face as I write this; and I wonder if you know how thank you I am of you, for it.

You've held me more times than I've known. I imagine just like now, with your arms around my still shaken body, you've held me as I sleep before. I wonder if you know the times I've done the same.

I'm afraid I've lied to you. I am not okay. I mean, we, humans, are a bit insane. But I am scared to tell you the truth, I don't want it to be too much. You swear you won't leave, but we humans are so weak. Should I wrap you up in bubble wrap? Can you die from that?

Sometimes the only comfort I get from death is imagining that we will be together in the afterlife. Is there mortality up there? I dream of a forever with you on another world—cause this world doesn't wish for the same.

Humans are so easy to love. You are. I don't want to lose that—but I know I will.

The sun creeps up the window, and the smell of freshly cut fruits fill in the air.

"You weren't in bed when I woke up," Jiseok says. His morning voice is raspy, like it always is. He walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your hips. He yawns, nuzzling his head into your shoulder. "That's mean."

Your body melts for the first time in hours. Leaving the knife back on its place.

"Couldn't go back to sleep." You turn around in his arms, facing him. His bangs cover most of his eyes, you move it out of the way. "You look tired baby, it's early, go back to sleep."

Jiseok allows himself to look into your eyes. Eye bags formed overnight around his eyes.

"I am not slee—" he gets cut off with a yawn. "I am not sleepy."

You chuckle and rub his hair. Deciding not to comment anything further, Jiseok hangs around your back until you're both sitting down.

Fresh fruit, a couple toasts, some water and coffee, and one big bowl of sugary cereal on Jiseok's side sets the table. He is eating with a hand on yours—sacrificing half of his mobility to be ever so closer to you.

"How are you feeling now?" He breaks the silence, still munching on his last cereal scoop. Your hand tenses in his hold. "Want to talk about it?"

Jiseok looks at you with his big eyes, head tilted to the side. You don't think he's ever looked as adorable as he is right now. His gaze is tender, trying to send a message that he's here, and you only have to speak if you want.

Your heart melts at the sight—I mean, we humans are weak.

"I had a nightmare," you clear your throat. Jiseok nods, encouraging you to keep going. "I. I just thought that I, lost you."

He softly puts his spoon down, and reaches to grab your other hand.

"You could never lose me," he says, "I am that down bad for starters. But I mean it, I am not going anywhere baby, better strap in tight, we're locked in."

You send him a guilty smile, one that doesn't reach your eyes, one that you avoid looking at him. He notices frowning slightly.

"Baby are you sure that's all?"

You take a deep breath and close your eyes shut. In darkness, it's easier to open up your heart. You're sure that's why doctors operate people under anaesthesia.

"I am scared you'll die," you say, remembering the countless procedures that happen while the patient is awake. You open your eyes and look back at him. Jiseok's eyes are filled with worry, and that just makes your guilt grow. "I am scared of when you'll die."

It takes a while for any of you both to react. Jiseok acts first. He nods and untangles his right hand out of yours. He grabs your fork and stabs a piece of peach from your plate. He holds it up.

"Did you know that peaches symbolize immortality? I once read about metaphors and came across this one motif in Chinese art. The mythical Queen Mother of the West," Jiseok twirls around the piece of fruit. "I believe she was called something like Xi? Xiwangmu?" He looks at you as if searching for an answer, before he continues speaking, "the whole point was, she had these beautiful trees who bared peaches, peaches of immortality.

I tried selling the idea to our group for a song, but they said something like it's too much. But the idea stuck with me. How could something so mortal like a piece of fruit—one that will eventually rot—mean something so impossible like immortality. Either way, now peaches represent a long fruitful life. So you're eating immortality while killing it along the way."

You stare at him as he brings the fork to your mouth. He nods with the fork and says a small aaah, you eat the peach, it tastes sweet. Jiseok smiles happily before setting the now empty fork down.

"In science," he continues, only pausing when you let out a chuckle, "hey stay with me we're getting real in here." Jiseok smiles.

"You're such a nerd."

"Newsflash I am your nerd, so shush. In science, we find this thing called the law of conservation of matter. It has been refuted by now, so we're going to ignore that to fit our narrative. Which stated that matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed.

So just like that mortal piece of immortality you've eaten, it now lives inside of you—bound to transform itself. Peaches do resemble immortality, because they allow you to live more, its immortality gets transferred into yours."

Jiseok looks at you with a proud smile, as if he solved any problems with fear. It weirdly helps. Now even more at ease.

"So I'll eat all the peaches in the world to be immortal, my love, no way you'll ever get rid of me."

You laugh at him, he just stares as if you made eternity and choose to keep it only yours and his.

"And I know a peach that I could eat that could help me alright." Jiseok wiggles his eyebrows, you slap his hand meaninglessly.

"Hey, random question, did you know that we ran out of your milk?"

"What?"

"Because I think you're currently eating your cereal with my, very lactose, milk. So have fun for the rest of the day, my little lactose-warrior."

Jiseok's biggest fault, Lactose.

Humanities's biggest fault, we love payback.