#no virgin Pesci in this house I’m sorry

[oddverse]

Finally home from work this is how I make them extra terrible so i can feel better about myself

I need cracked out la squadra headcanons, they are the mafia I need them to love coke and hookers

[risottoneroo]

self indulgence, pt14

a/n: fuck well i got distracted um. take this, im sorry

warnings: sexual implications, canon typical violence, mafia things

As soon as you got to the bar, you ran into complications. Those complications were named Sorbet and Gelato, respectively. You saw them as you walked in, and cursed yourself for not remembering that this was their territory. They grinned at you, and Gelato stood. “Y/N. You decided to visit?”

You smiled at him and reached out. He looked at your bare hand, then back up at you. “You don’t think I’m an idiot, do you?”

You tilted your head. “My Stand doesn’t affect people who are truly in love, Gelato. I do think you’re an idiot for admitting that.”

He flushed. “I didn’t know that.”

He took your hand and shook it. You smiled serenely, knowing you had the upper hand. Leone and Fugo hung back behind you, and Sorbet stood to join Gelato. “Why are you here?”

You smiled. “Let’s talk in your office, shall we?”

Gelato nodded and led you into the back room. “What does the Don want?”

You sat on the desk and crossed your legs. “There’s a man here at your bar who has been spilling secrets. He’s not in Passione, but he knows too much.”

They exchanged looks, and Sorbet nodded. “We’ve heard him. Pesci is attempting to recruit him, and clearly, he’s fucking it up.”

You nodded. “So, we need to talk to Prosciutto.”

Gelato hissed in a breath. “Not you. Don’t go to see him.”

You frowned. “My Stand should have worn off.”

Sorbet laughed softly. “Bella, if you think only your Stand is making him act like that, than you don’t know much about it.”

You frowned. “What?”

Gelato nodded. “We found you because we noticed that Risotto seemed happier than usual. Much happier. That’s what your Stand does, in most cases.”

Sorbet looked at Gelato. “We followed him, and we watched you. When we saw that you could make Ghiaccio smile, really smile, for a long time, we knew you were using a Stand power.”

Gelato laughed. “But your Stand made them happy. Until Risotto started falling in love with you for real, he was happy. That’s what your Stand does. It makes people want to be around you, to make you happy. It brings them outside of themselves and into you.”

Sorbet raised his eyebrow. “They were like mindless zombies, willing to do anything for you. Your Stand power is like a drug.”

Gelato snorted. “It was really creepy, actually.” You frowned. “So, why did Prosciutto and Mista and Risotto start to rebel?”

Sorbet held up three fingers. “Prosciutto is a naturally neurotic asshole. Your Stand power is incredibly dangerous to him, because he’s so prone to obsession. Your power fed into his tendencies, and it turned him into a monster. He started getting bad a few months before Risotto. Asking you who else you were fucking and making you lie to him was a dead giveaway.”

He put one finger down. Gelato tapped the next finger. “Risotto was next, and it was because he managed to catch you at a terrible moment. You don’t remember it, but you were drugged by a member of another squad. Risotto killed him as he was trying to take you to his house, and then he took care of you all night. You were in bad shape. Throwing up, crying, etc.”

You blinked. “I knew that one of my clients disappeared. I never figured out which one. I remember waking up next to him with a terrible headache.”

Gelato shrugged. “Well, you confessed to Risotto that you wanted nothing more than safety and security, and he fell for you on the spot.”

You nodded. “I always felt so much safer with him than anyone else.” Sorbet put down another finger. “The last one is Mista. Now, we don’t know him as well, but he does seem very easygoing. Live and let live.”

Leone spoke, and you jumped. You’d forgotten he was there. “Mista loved her the moment he first fucked her. He trusted her with nearly everything. She took his virginity.”

Sorbet waved his remaining finger. “He made four mistakes.”

Fugo sucked in a breath. Mista was terrified of the number four.

Sorbet continued, “He trusted her. He loved her. He paid her. And he refused to betray her by fucking another woman.”

Leone nodded. “Mista believed she was his, and nobody ever dissuaded him of that. When he found out she loved Risotto-”

Sorbet put down his last finger. “It killed him.”

Fugo spoke up. “What does this have to do with Prosciutto?”

Gelato laughed. “What are you, fifteen? It has everything to do with him. Can’t you see? Mista and Prosciutto were both broken when they found out that the woman they loved was someone different, that she’d been putting on a show. Risotto is the only one who knows her. They can’t stand that.”

Sorbet nodded. “It’s worse for Prosciutto, but he’s smarter than Mista. He throws himself into work and other women, he’s assigned himself to a city across the country, and he knows better than to ask to see her.”

Leone nodded. You understood too. “If I went to see him in Rome, it would kill him. He’d fall back into it, and you’d lose one of your best capos.”

Gelato nodded. “You understand.”

Sorbet stood. “So we’ll talk to him. If we see Pesci around here again, we’ll call Bucciarati.”

You stood. “I’m satisfied by that.”

You shook their hands and headed home. You split ways with Leone and Fugo at the bar door. You were headed back to Risotto’s office to report, and they were going back to Libecco. You kissed Leone on the cheek and ruffled Fugo’s hair. “You two take care of yourselves.”

Fugo nodded, and Leone smiled. “You too.”

You walked back to the headquarters. Halfway to the building, you felt a hand grip your wrist. It was a former elite guard of the Don, one who’d gone into hiding. Squalo. You knew that Narancia had managed to kill his partner. You opened your mouth, and he clapped a hand over your lips. “Just try to call him, and you die.”

You closed your eyes and called out your Stand. She hummed and gripped his cheeks. He chuckled. “I know your Stand doesn’t work on anyone truly in love. I could hear it all.”

You chuckled softly into his hands, and turned on the aphrodisiac effect. He whimpered. “O-Oh, fuck- What are you doing- Unh-”

He sank to his knees, letting you go. Your Stand kept a hold on him, and you flipped open your phone. “Risotto, I found Squalo. He’s on the alley between La Cucina and Trattoria. Yes.”

You closed it, and poured more power into Squalo. He clenched his jaw, looking down. “Nnhh-”

You laughed. “You thought I had just one power? Idiot.”

Risotto showed up at the entrance to the alley. “Bella- Are you-”

He rushed to you, hugging you tight, then pulling back to examine you. “You’re not hurt.”

You nodded, and he breathed out. Then, a smirk spread across his face, and he turned to Squalo. “Good of her to capture you alive, because you’re going to talk.”

Squalo trembled in fear, which almost killed his arousal. Almost.

Risotto flicked his wrist, and handcuffs materialized around Squalo’s wrists. “Can your Stand carry him?”

You nodded, and you walked back to headquarters with your newest prey. 

Your Stand pushed Squalo down on the chair across from RIsotto’s desk, and walked around behind him. She clamped her hands on his bare shoulders, and he groaned. Risotto chuckled. “Her Stand is strong, isn’t it?”

Squalo was sweating, gasping softly. “F-Fuck, what are you doing to me-”

You smirked. “Can’t you feel it? Bad Girlfriend is making you unbelievably aroused. And I can keep you here for hours and hours.”

Risotto grabbed the other man’s chin and turned him. “Tell us where the rest of the Boss’s elite guard is.”

Squalo moaned weakly, his hips twitching. “G-Get fucked- You killed him-”

You sat on Risotto’s desk in front of him. “Tiziano? Your husband?”

Squalo nodded, his hips rolling into the air. “I- I’ll never tell you shit- Carne will kill you all-”

You shrugged. “Well, that sucks. Guess I’ll have to keep you like this.”

You hopped off Risotto’s desk and turned to him. “So, Mr. Nero, how was your day?”

You reached up to straighten his lapels, and Squalo looked down. Risotto chuckled. “Tedious. The casinos are badly run, and I needed to go there myself to straighten things out.”

You nodded, sliding one hand down his chest. “Need some stress relief?”

Risotto glanced at Squalo. “Later.”

You nodded and leaned up to kiss his cheek. You increased the amount of power on Squalo, and he moaned openly, tipping his head back. “F-Fuck.”

You grinned and turned back to him. “You’re such a brat. If you tell us, we’ll let you work for us.”

That was a lie. You were going to kill him regardless. Squalo closed his eyes. “I- I-”

You could feel your Stand power leaving now. It was taking an immense amount of energy to keep this up. Risotto gripped your wrist. You inhaled slowly. Squalo clenched, his whole body tensing up and a strangled grunt escaping him. “C-Carne is- Carne is h-hiding- He’s in- unh- He’s in Venice- B-But don’t kill him- His Stand activates then- J-Just- ooooh, fuck- Just keep him somewhere, his Stand can’t activate if he’s alive-”

Risotto pressed further. “And the rest?”

Squalo gasped. “Cioccolata and Secco are in hiding in Sicily- Please-”

You smiled and released your Stand. “Good. Thank you.”

He panted softly. “Thank you.”

Risotto put his hands on Squalo’s shoulders. “You’ve been enormously helpful.”

Squalo closed his eyes. “Where will I be assigned?”

Risotto smiled darkly. “You'll be joining Tiziano.”

A long knife materialized in his hand, and he slit Squalo’s throat from ear to ear before the other man could scream.

He straightened up, his hands covered in blood. Squalo lay limp, his life flowing out over the expensive leather of Risotto’s chair. You bit your lip. “Did we have to-”

Risotto nodded. “You know we did.”

You nodded, and he stepped closer to you, holding your face in his hands, still slick with warm blood. “We are the most powerful people in Italy. We cannot let traitors stand. He would have killed us in our sleep.”

You stared into his eyes and nodded. He crushed your lips in a rough kiss, and you gasped into his mouth. He parted your lips with his tongue and slid it into your mouth, and you moaned, clutching at his jacket. He pulled his hands away from your face, and you could feel blood drying on your cheeks.

The door creaked open, and Formaggio’s cocky drawl echoed into the room. “You two getting it on in front of the dead body? I don’t think he’s gonna watch.”

You laughed and stepped back. “Formi.”

He nodded at you, and Risotto straightened up. “Formaggio, would you be so kind as to call the usual people to take care of this?”

Formaggio saluted. “Sure thing. Before that, I want to tell you that Bucciarati called. Pesci is on the run.”

Risotto nodded absently, then jolted. “What the fuck?”

Formaggio shrugged. “Apparently he’s been leaking information to civilians, and Sorbet called Bucciarati’s team in on it. They found him, but he got away. He’s on his way to his brother in Rome now. They’re in pursuit, and they just got on a train.”

You glanced up at Risotto. “I was going to tell you that Pesci was the leak.”

Risotto nodded. “Formaggio, can you take Melone and Ghiaccio with you, and back up Bucciarati’s team? I doubt that they’ll need it, but I feel more comfortable with your oversight.”

Formaggio nodded and turned to leave. “Don’t fuck her to death.”

Risotto shook his head. You raised an eyebrow. “Bold of him to assume that I could be fucked to death if it hasn’t happened already.”

Risotto bent to nip at your ear gently. “I could try.”

You hummed, reaching up to scratch at his hair. “We haven’t had sex in a while.”

He nodded, his lips skimming along your neck. “I don’t have any more work today. They can call me if they need me.”

You gasped softly when he sank his teeth into your neck, and arched into him. “Th-Then let’s go home.”

He growled softly. “There’s a room off my office with a bed in it.”

You closed your eyes. “Risotto- I don’t-”

He pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

You sighed softly. “I saw Mista today.”

His hands clenched on your waist. “And?”

You turned to face him. “You almost killed him.”

RIsotto sneered, anger making his face twist in an ugly way. “He disobeyed me.”

You closed your eyes. “Why are you so fucking scared of him?”

Risotto gritted his teeth. “He loves you.” You tensed. “You almost killed him.”

Risotto grabbed you by the chin. “Why are you defending him?”

You gasped. He searched your face. “You love him.”

You shook your head. “I love you.” Risotto’s face twisted. “Don’t fucking lie to me. I’ve never been enough for you.”

You felt tears welling up. “I love you, Ris. Please.”

He shouted, “Don’t fucking call me that!”

He let you go, and you collapsed to the floor. “Ris, please-”

He growled, breathing heavily. “I’ll never be enough. I don’t know why I tried.”

He turned and walked out the door, leaving you with the corpse in his office.