#no someone might not understand how something makes u uncomfortable and u need to come forwars and say that

[biphbia]

also not to be like. boo those liberals and everything 😡😡 but

[n0tamused]

Hello! I wanna send a req if u don't mind! Separate hcs/headcanons for Blade & Jing Yuan with gn!reader where the reader is being dense when another man tries to flirt with them. That's all & thx!

Contents: fluff, gn reader, hope you enjoy! Sorry for the long wait

Jing Yuan:

-The General of the Luofu and his lover are what people see as an example of a stable relationship, considering just how long you’ve been together, and not just as romantic partners either. Jing Yuan trusts you without a doubt, and you trust him all the same in equal measure, if not even more.

-Trust is not something either of you debate, and you are both happy to know of one another’s ability to trust and rely on the other, but that same trust can, in no way, be applied to the people outside of the relationship - strangers especially. 

-From this, there were a few instances where a stranger might have tried to approach the General, even if you were nearby, sputtering flowery words or playing with the locks of their hair. Jing Yuan never entertained such actions, brushing them aside and making clear mention how he “had to return to his beloved” before leaving the person aside. He knows how many people swoon over him and makes it a point to give you even more love to reassure you that he’d never look at any of them as fondly as he looks at you. You’re the only one that has a place in his heart. 

-But what Jing Yuan is not exactly fond of experiencing is you going through the same thing. Even from afar he can see how your lips press into a thin uncomfortable line, your eyes gazing at this stranger in caution, unblinking with unease. He sees you try, and vaguely hears as he approaches, how you try and get out of the conversation without making much of a fuss, and although you are firm too - the other is way too stubborn to back off

-The large hands of Jing Yuan find their way onto your sides, and he’s now peering at the person over your shoulder with that coy smile on his face. He doesn’t look threatening per se, but one would have to be a fool to not understand the mistake of their doings now

-He greets the person just as amiably, asking you what is going on, a curious little cat he is, he wants to know. But he doesn’t linger, he knows you want to get away, just as much as he wants to remove you from this situation. He tells the person something rather cryptic, rather poisoned honey for words, and the person understands - that much he makes sure off before he politely excuses you both away

-The General isn’t someone people fear and he doesn’t ever feel the need to present himself as a figure that needs to herald any unease of fear. He only dislikes his partner being put in such an unfavorable position and he will use his vast vocabulary to hide little threats for such behavior skillfully. His partner’s comfort is up on his priority list and he doesn’t play around with that

Blade:

-Blade is not one to beat around the bush or pray for forgiveness from anyone he might offend with his bluntness, and he certainly keeps this demeanor even after forgetting certain things due to Mara or Kafka’s Spirit Whisper

-As a lover he is rather distant and although he cares somewhere deep down in his old, scarred heart, a stranger wouldn’t be able to guess you’re even friends out in the open world. He doesn’t like standing in one place for too long, and if there’s intel that needs to be gathered or something that needs to be done, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you as well, safety reasons mainly come to mind, but a part of him doesn’t want you to be involved in this business anyway so subconsciously he is trying to distance you from the operations as a whole. He tries and he fails, but he tries again next time and fails again.

-He always has an eye out for you, like a sixth sense ingrained into his mind.

-Along the lines of his work he vaguely does remember a few bold individuals that have tried to “hit on him”, but they were either not completely sober or were easily ignored. He wasn’t the person to entertain any flirtatious remarks and he isn’t the easiest person to approach. He scares people easily, so he doesn’t have much of a problem with people getting in his way just to say his eyes are pretty or something else.

-You, on the other hand, are not nearly as blunt or scary as he is, everyone’s aware of that. 

-He doesn’t waste time either. Once he senses you may be uncomfortable by another person’s approach to you, he’s already stepping in and making the person scurry off with a few rash choice of words that definitely sting at best. 

-Similarly to Jing Yuan, he values the peace your own peace of mind brings, and he doesn’t play around when it comes to your comfort. If someone disturbs you, he will make sure they stop and never do so again.

-He’s rather protective of you, even in those moments where he seems to forget the connection you two share.

-Just imagine: You’re talking to this unpleasant stranger, alcohol is clinging to them like perfume and they’re talking about how they’d love to invite you over for dinner, but suddenly they look over your shoulder where Blade is now taking a step towards you. He seemingly appeared out of thin air, merged from the crowd and he’s wearing the darkest of expressions, but he is unbothered truly. You don’t have to look behind you to know it is him either, he radiates that certain atmosphere that is hard to mistake. “Is there something wrong here?” he asks plainly, stiffly even, the question more pointed to you as he glares the stranger down. The stranger, unsure if this was alcohol's doing or reality is quick to scurry away with plenty of excuses bubbling up to their lips and farewells. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[da-rulah]

"oh, and my love, did i mistake you as a sign from god?" from sleep token's the summoning >:33 could i rq cardinal copia?? sfw / nsfw idm just wherever your creativity takes u!! <33

This song gives me all the vibes. And for Cardinal Copia, this is what I got out of it. I'm sorry if it's not your thing but I couldn't think of anything else that fit this lyric better... This got a little kinky😈

NSFW 18+, MDNI! Cardinal Copia x f!reader

TW: dom/sub dynamic (f dom), dominatrix, control, power play, ropes/bondage, cum play, emotions and soft domination.

Copia's neck was starting to hurt, his head bowed down and staring at the stone floors of the chapel beneath his knees. His hands remained behind his back, arms tied from his elbows to his wrists in red shibari ropes.

But he knew he wasn't allowed to look up. Not yet.

He heard your heels on the stone, and naturally his body tensed in welcome anticipation. He'd waited patiently for you to come back to the chapel after stripping him down, tying his arms and instructing him to stay put while you'd gone to slip into something more comfortable. Of course, making him wait was all part of it; to make him uncomfortable, antsy, nervous.

You came to stand in front of him, stepping between his spread knees to make sure he could see the heels you'd put on. He'd be getting more acquainted with them soon...

He was already painfully hard, his mind racing as fast as his heart thinking of all the things you might do to him, that you'd done to him in the past. He could never get enough of you, like a drug he was terminally addicted to. You would be the death of him...

But this was his release. His job was so demanding, so stressful and he had to be the authoritarian he was crafted into as a Cardinal. All of that went out the window during playtime with you... He could let go, let someone else take charge for him and literally beat the tension out of him if that's what he needed. But there was a complication...

He was becoming too obsessed with you. You were the most beautiful woman in the world to him, the perfect mix of cruel dominatrix and soft lover. He kept finding excuses to be around you day to day, just to catch glimpses of you if that was all he could get. Other times, he'd specifically call for your assistance on a task, just to spend time with you. He knew this was purely transactional on both sides and yet, he was falling into a trap...

"You haven't moved, have you?" your voice sounded so assertive, particularly in the stone setting of the chapel - which you'd locked up for tonight so as not to be interrupted. This was a fantasy of his, to be overruled in the one place he was supposed to have the most command. Lucifer would certainly approve.

"No, ma'am," he confirmed, his voice quaking a little.

"Good." You lifted one of your feet, placing it flat onto his thigh and gently applying pressure with your stiletto hell. Copia winced, but his cock twitched between his legs, precum dripping to the stone floor.

And of course, you noticed.

"You're making a mess, Cardinal. Maybe you should clean that up, hm?" It was a rhetorical question, more of an order than a suggestion. And he knew how you worked by now. You stepped backwards and watched with a smirk as he shuffled backwards, dipping his body down without the use of his hands to keep him steady. His face hovered above the stone floor, his tongue darting out to lick at the mess like a cat lapping at a saucer full of milk.

You were very pleased with the Cardinal's progress from your first session together. He'd never been outright defiant, more like inexperienced. Not at sex - far from it - but at letting go, and understanding what you were asking of him without being direct. He'd come leaps and bounds since then.

"Such a good boy," you praised as he finished, still never looking up at you. You hadn't given him permission yet...

You stepped back a few paces, up the first step in front of the pulpit. "Come here."

He walked on his knees towards you, wincing at the pain and stopping short of the step, too awkward to lift his knees but he had a feeling you wanted him beneath you.

Slowly, you raised your heel again, this time lifting his chin with the toe and allowing him to look up at you. His eyes travelled the length of your leg, dreamily observing the stockings you wore for him, held up by suspenders that sat over a stunning black lace bodysuit. He took in every curve, slowly marvelling as saliva pooled in his mouth until finally, he looked up to see your stunning face, beautifully lit in the candlelight and framed by the incredibly intricate stained glass windows behind you.

You were like an oil painting, more beautiful than if Michelangelo himself had painted you. And with the backdrop behind you illustrating his fantasy playing out, it was sending him spiralling.

To him, you were a damn succubus... A demon sent for him and him alone to tempt and defile. He'd allow you anything you wanted from him, follow any command.

"Forgive me for speaking out of turn..." You straightened up at the sound of his voice, glaring down at him. You hadn't given him permission to speak, nor asked him a question that warranted an answer. But you were intrigued...

He'd never spoke out of turn before and frankly, you were curious to see what was so important that he must tell you and suffer the consequences of disobedience.

"You have never look so bewitching... I-I'm all yours, body and soul."

Your eyes widened, taken aback completely. Of all the things you expected, that absolutely was not one of them. You had no smart retort, nothing to say in response at all. Instead, you did something you had never done before, crossing a boundary you set when terms were agreed upon on day one.

You crouched in front of him, meeting his eyes. You could see the fear in them, almost regret as he swallowed his fear and readied himself for the inevitable punishment for speaking without permission. But instead, you moved some of his hair away from his face with gentle touches, then tilted his chin up a little to make it easier to plant your lips to his.

Kissing was a big no-no. You shouldn't have done it, but you felt so drawn to him, compelled to give him a part of you like he just had.

He didn't hesitate to kiss you back, quickly overcoming his shock in favour of savouring something he was sure you would probably never do again. It ignited something within you, a fire raging in your body. You couldn't help escalating it, your kisses turning desperate. Copia wanted nothing more than to hold you close to him, to pull you into him and take you on the chapel floor with an equal balance of power; even if it were just for one night...

But his hands were still tied, and you had a scene to play out. He was sure you'd snap out of it soon and punish him harder than you ever had. Perhaps you'd call this whole thing off, and he'd never get to be with you again. The thought terrified him.

You pulled back from the kiss, your hands wrapped around the back of his neck and forehead pressed to his. You sighed, twirling your fingertips in the locks of hair at the nape of his neck. It was growing out - you liked that.

"Copia..." you breathed, chuckling softly at the absurdity of the situation you found yourself in. Feelings were never supposed to factor into this, but you'd be lying if you tried to tell yourself there wasn't something there. "We should talk," you whispered, finally meeting his eyes.

"Maybe another time, when I'm not kneeling at your feet with my arms tied behind me?" he laughed quietly, shy and unsure of himself.

"Oh, of course..." you moved to untie the ropes behind him, but eh stopped you. "N-no... Please," he begged, "I need this. I-I... don't want you to stop."

You stopped fiddling with the knot, resting your palms on his shoulders and searching his face for any sign that he wasn't sure about this. But there was nothing but pleading; he still wanted this, and so did you. This was as much of a release for you as it was for him. There was plenty of time to talk later.

"Whatever you need," you curled your finger under his chin, lightly tilting it up as a gentle re-introduction into the scene. "Now... do not speak again until you are asked to. Understand?"

He nodded, knowing better than to verbally respond.

The scene in the Chapel continued, but neither of you could deny the little extra softness in your dominance that night. You were more careful with him, less brutal. Still lording over him as he wished, still assertive and clearly in power.

But your harsh persona had turned into something softer, slower in every move you made. Copia couldn't help but be even more in awe of you, watching you take control of him in such a delicate way that felt more fuelled by passion than anything you'd ever done together before.

He was more sure now than ever that you had been moulded in the image of the darkest, most beautiful goddess.

[blueberrymocha]

hii!! Sorry in requesting so late !!(for me at least) But I was wondering if you could do the main four x reader who can't sleep without like sound like for example they have turn on the tv before they sleep or they have a hard time sleeping ? And they end up falling asleep at a party because hey find comfort if hearing some for of voice/ voices went they are tired

If u didn't know it's like some type of trauma response for them

Sorry if this makes u uncomfortable I know this stuff can make ppl uncomfortable so u don't need to to this!! 🫶🏾

main 4 with a reader who needs noise to sleep

gon

✰ he doesn’t really have the technology on whale island to play any noise

✰ but he’d order something for you as soon as you mentioned having a hard time sleeping without it

✰ while it’s being delivered, he’d fill the quiet with his voice

✰ i can see him humming or quietly talking you to sleep

✰ luckily, he already lives in a rural area, so it’s never completely silent

✰ i can see him throwing you a birthday party where you end up falling asleep before it’s over

✰ he’ll just carry you off to bed and wait for you wake up 🤷‍♀️

✰ when you do, he’s all like “what happened there?”

✰ after explaining it’s because you found the noise comforting, he’d probably leave it at that

killua

✰ he also likes to sleep with noise, turning on a show and the fan before bed

✰ and whenever you stay up, you’ll probably be having a conversation all night

✰ so you don’t need to worry most of the time

✰ if you guys went to a party and you were tired enough to fall asleep,

✰ he’d be pretty nonchalant

✰ when you wake up, he’ll tease you about it

✰ so he’s also someone that probably wouldn’t find out on his own

✰ it clicks when you tell him though

✰ and he feels pretty bad for joking, so he’d apologize (rare occurrence)

✰ and going forward, he’s a lot more observant

kurapika

✰ he’d prefer to sleep in silence, but if you want white noise, he’s fine with leaving the tv on

✰ since he lives in the city, i’m sure you might hear the sounds of cars and traffic too

✰ if you never told him about the quiet thing, he’d figure it out when he sees you awake and huddled next to him in the middle of the night

✰ he doesn’t get why silence is so uncomfortable for you, but he won’t immediately pry

✰ until you accompanied him to this party one night

✰ his hand was on your waist, pulling you close as you rested your head on his chest

“y/n, let’s go.”

…

“y/n?”

✰ before, he was under the assumption that you just had a hard time falling asleep in general

✰ he’d probably vet a bit to see if it’s something you even want to talk about

✰ when you do tell him, he’s super understanding as he can sort of empathize

✰ so he’ll always check that it’s not too quiet for you

leorio

✰ yeah he wouldn’t notice

✰ he’s already snoring the second he hits the pillow,

✰ so if you need any accommodations, you’re gonna have to get them yourself

✰ when he takes you to a party and you crash out halfway through, he assumes you haven’t been getting enough sleep

✰ naturally, you get a lecture

“you can’t just be falling asleep in the middle of a party! someone might kidnap you or something… have you not been getting sleep?”

✰ once you tell him that it’s because of how loud the party was, and about your trauma,

✰ he feels like a total jerk

✰ immediately, that soft side of him comes out as he apologizes

✰ in the future, he’d keep a closer eye on you in public

✰ and if you ever seem sleepy, he’ll let you rest on his shoulder and sleep

[lanawinterscigarettes]

✨️ unfortunately ive really gotten into friends recently which means u might be seeing a lot of prompts My Way because I really like how you write the characters 😩

smutty (gn reader) of monica but with her being dominating? how would she dominate and boss around in the bedroom.

thank you so much! it means a lot to me to hear you enjoy the way I write them, and you're absolutely free to send in as many prompts or requests as you want to <3 I went with headcanons this time around but let me know if you ever want a fic in the future!

How Monica Geller would dominate the reader

Warnings: not explicit smut but there's obviously suggestive/smutty elements, gender neutral reader, soft dom Monica/sub reader

Monica is someone who always has to have control of every situation that she finds herself in, and that includes what happens in the bedroom, meaning out of the two of you she's the more dominant party here

That's not to say that she's a hard dom or that she's particularly rough, because she really isn't, but her more bossy and demanding traits definitely come out to play when she's in the right enviornment

She also just has a commanding aura about her, if that makes sense. Like she's the type of person who'll tell you to do something and you'll immediately do it because you don't want to get on her bad side

She's very bossy for sure, but that's just because she knows what she wants and isn't afraid of making it known to others too. If you're ever having sex and you're not doing something exactly the way she'd like you should expect to be called out on it (though that's not limited purely to sex in all honesty)

However, she also understands the importance of you also being able to voice how you're feeling during sex. She always encourages you to express how you're feeling and to let her know if you're at all uncomfortable with what's going on, even setting a safeword beforehand. Even if you never us it, it's still a nice safety net to have

Despite always needing things to be a very specific way, she's more than willing to accomodate for you if you need it, which includes both in and out of the bedroom (if you're a picky eater she'll cater recipes towards you, or if you don't like bright lights on during sex she'll get some that can be dimmed and adjusted to your liking, just to name a few examples)

Like I said earlier, Monica just seems to exude the kind of energy that immediately makes people want to listen to her without question, which doesn't make it very difficult for you to behave for her (not to mention it's typical that you might get some kind of reward for behaving, so that's certainly a plus)

Maybe it's due to her firm, no-nonsense tone or perhaps it's the fact that you have no doubt she'll keep whatever promises she makes it terms of punishing you, but one stern look from her will have your attitude shutting down quickly

While she might not tolerate you acting like a brat, she at the very least gives you a few warnings before punishing you. Usually you only act out when you want attention, so the second that she gives it you're right back to behaving. She really only punishes you if you're deliberately trying be punished anyway

Punishments usually include either excessive overstimulation or you being forced to watch her get off without being allowed to touch either her or yourself (though nothing happens without your given consent of course)

Typically though she's much gentler as a dom, even with her bossy nature. She wants to make sure you feel loved and cared for, even when you act like a brat

While quickies/fast sex do happen, she also likes taking her time and getting to make sure you fully enjoy yourself. She loves to praise you, no matter what position you're in or what kind of session it is

All of this being said, she's a great soft dom, especially if you're someone who gets apprehensive or nervous when it comes to sex. She'll never make you feel rushed or pressured, always back off if you tell her to, and aftercare is always guaranteed to include a bubble bath, cuddles and your favorite snack made

End notes: I really hope you liked it sparkle anon <3

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[tenderhungering]

howdy howdy!!! do u have any thoughts on jack’s background? I think it’s really interesting the few tidbits we have (Illinois Boy™️, the Oh Calcutta story, getting his start in radio) + in the case of those first two its like. clearly been told time and time again for an audience. or if you’d prefer something else any thoughts on minnie 🙏😭 haunting the narrative icon

hello hello ! i so wish we’d gotten a little bit more about him but i’ve always imagined jack as being a little more introverted in his younger years? i think he really enjoys validation and this is such a difficult thing to achieve as someone as slightly awkward as jack. (don’t know why. maybe i just enjoy pathetic men but his blushing at naked bodies and his little “oh! not my chair!” has always made me feel like he has had to build up this persona he has made for himself) charming and quick-witted but very easily crumbles whenever he’s in an uncomfortable position (he seems to almost dissociate often?)

i think he might’ve been in some sort of college radio and broadcast (i’ve discussed this with a friend before!), and he was just so happy to build an audience. there’s no mention of his parents (my memory is foggy!) so part of me thinks that they’re either not in the picture or he’s lost them? so you know,,, mommy and daddy issues galore despite either one. maybe even one of them didn’t think being someone on television would maintain a steady flow of income. regardless, it might make him more interested in gaining that connection with the audience, getting validated for his feelings. getting praise for it. no you’re so cool please continue to make your show! i’m such a big fan!

he doesn’t know who is there for him as Mr. Midnight and who is there for him Jack Delroy so he blurs the line and vents to his audience, looks at the camera with every intention to impress.

i imagine meeting minnie was very sweet though. they were both sort of up and coming and it’s nice to have someone who understands that struggle! i imagine minnie being in theatre makes her the more extroverted out of the two ! (she was the one sharing stories and jack getting shy about them!), but also a lot more open about her emotions. jack seems like someone who keeps to himself and doesn’t quite understand how to communicate well (he does hide a lot from others when they ask what’s going on. might just be that 70s toxic masculinity upbringing that makes him unable to express these,, daddy issues? who knows!)

i do fully believe he loved her though! younger jack probably never dreamed of finding a girl like minnie. maybe a bit of idealization for her occurred earlier on but minnie was so fresh and bright and full of life even during her time spent ill that i always thought she just good humor and a knack for just being naturally talented at the arts.

which is a big difference between the two! minnie just had that spark of life, she was always going to end up being someone big, she knew how to capture a room. jack was awkward and had to find his voice, he had to learn what people liked, what good jokes landed and how to deliver them, he had to work hard (and i don’t mean this as minnie not working hard! jack just had to work to become this persona while minnie was able to become her characters almost immediately, she’s able to understand their emotions and feel for them immediately. i think it makes her a much more empathetic person while jack is a lot more sympathetic. jack needs to be verbally told what people are feeling which might be why ratings are so comforting. they’re either good or bad! they’re easy to read.) and become who we know as Mr. Midnight. something of an artist obsessed with not their craft but what their craft will mean to others

sorry if this wasn’t exactly background stuff pfft! i more so focused on how their personalities were! i do think that minnie was possibly in dance, and has that ability to be able to play a song after she hears it on time on the piano. i think she has to teach jack how to pick up on it though, he’s sort of stumbling and his keys are sour baha. he probably used to stay up late studying little mannerisms talk shows had. i think he has a natural charm to him but that charm is a lot more meek than what we see? i love them both dearly,,,

[chronicbeans]

Jack Walten and Wally Darling have a Phone Call

Jack Walten somehow calls the main character of his children's favorite show instead of Felix Kranken. I NEEDED TO DO THIS OKAY-

TW: Mentions of Alcoholism, Missing Children, Suspected Car Crashes and Harm to Children, Anxiety and Despair, Mentions of Death

☎️Jack paces around the room, looking at his phone with a mixture of hope and dread. He has been calling Felix over and over again, never getting a response from the man. He's left massage after message, begging him to return his calls and get his children home. He told him to pick up his children THREE HOURS ago! Where are they?!

☎️Desperate for an answer, he picks up the phone and dials the number. He holds the phone up to his ear, grinning once Felix, or who he thinks is Felix, picks up the phone. If anyone walked in on him, they would think he was a madman... But he doesn't care. The euphoric feeling of hope, hope to see his children, fills him as he speaks. "FELIX! FINALLY! Where are my kids? You have to tell me, Felix! Did something happen to them?! PLEASE-"

☎️"Hello? I am sorry, neighbor. I don't know anybody named Felix. I think you have the wrong number. Try dialing the number you want again." Jack's eyes widen, before he mutters a soft "Sorry..." before dialing Felix's number, again. The same, strange man answers. "Hello? Did it not work, neighbor?"

☎️Jack shakes his head, despite knowing that the odd man can't see him. "No. I am sorry, I keep accidentally calling you. I'll just try again." "No, neighbor. Let's talk. You sound upset. It is good to talk about your feelings."

☎️Jack hesitates. He doesn't know this man and he really needs to get a hold of Felix, RIGHT NOW. However, the thought of how his last few voice messages have sounded comes to him. Perhaps Jack is acting a bit too emotional. Yes, he knows that he is justified in his fear and anxieties about his children's mysterious whereabouts. God knows he is justified in his anger and fear as to what happened to them, alongside Felix. He has a RIGHT to let Felix know that he is upset and to be emotional in his calls. However, could that emotion be what is causing Felix to not answer? Maybe he is just scared to tell him what happened, because Felix not telling him anything has already gotten him so riled up. He might just fear a far more emotional reaction when he finally answers.

☎️He's probably never going to hear from this strange man again, either. Talking to him, without having to fear meeting him in real life, alongside being able to vent his frustrations, might calm Jack enough to leave a message that is collected enough to make Felix willing to pick up the phone. To calm Felix down from... Whatever might've occurred to Jack's children... And just tell him what happened. "Alright. Let's talk."

☎️"Do you know who I am, neighbor, or do I need to introduce myself, again?" Again? Now that Jack thinks about it, the man sounds familiar. His voice has a comforting familiarity despite the monotonous nature of it. He just cannot put his finger on it. Did he meet this man before and just forget about it? "I am sorry... Do I know you? Have we met before."

☎️The man hums, shifting on something, perhaps a chair or some other piece of furniture. "We have met many, many times. It is alright if you don't remember, however. I haven't been around for a little bit. I understand that you forgot. One second. Let me see if you remember with this." There is the sound of the man placing the phone down, then walking somewhere. He returns alongside the sound of music playing from someplace nearby.

☎️It is so familiar... but so foreign. This man's identity is on the tip of Jack's tongue. It makes him so uncomfortable, but his disparity to have someone to talk to overrides his desire to just hang up and try calling Felix, again. Despite being so close to identifying the man on the opposite end of the line, however, it doesn't pop up, as he says "I am sorry. I still don't remember. Umm... My name is Jack Walten." There is a strange laugh, before the man on the other end of the line says "It is alright. I know who you are, Jack Walten. Let us start again. Ring. Ring. Ring. Click. Hello, neighbor. I am Wally Darling. It is so nice to talk to you. Now, tell me what is going on."

☎️Jack lets his emotions all flow out. Using colorful language to describe the situation, how Felix has been ignoring him, how his children are missing. His little angels... gone! A sudden thought occurs to him, and, without thinking, he asks "What if Felix crashed...? Oh, God! I... he sounded very upset when I asked him to drop them off and pick him up. I should've known better! He has a habit of drinking alcohol when he has a bad day... Oh, God, what if he crashed that car?! I'm a horrible father! I might've gotten them killed! What if they're dead...?" His chest tightens, as well as his grip on the phone.

☎️Wally lets out another hum. There is another shift, before his calming monotone voice speaks "I don't know what alcohol is... But it sounds bad to drink before driving, from your tone of voice and your words. I have also heard from my friend, Barnaby, that it is kind of like his smoking. You do it and, for some, you have trouble stopping. You have to realize that, if that did happen, it wouldn't be your fault. You asked Felix for help and put your trust in him. He could've explained, in more detail, how bad his day was or that he planned to drink it. I am still a bit confused on what alcohol is, or if my idea of what he could've done is right, but that is what I am getting from what you are putting down. If they are dead, whatever that means, then it isn't your fault. At least, not entirely. I am too confused to make a proper answer..."

☎️Jack takes a deep breath. It isn't much help, but... Wally's words are at least something. It is a bit better than simply wallowing in torment. Wally continues "I don't know what a father is, either. Can you tell me what that is?" "Well... a father is someone who has kids. You were a kid once, right? I don't have to explain it?" "Yeah. I met my friend Barnaby as a kid." "Well, a father is usually, specifically a man who has a kid. A woman who has a kid would be a mother. A father could also be someone who is more masculine and has a kid. Not everyone has a father... but I am one for my kids. I am doing my best... or was... I failed them..."

☎️There is an awkward silence, before Wally speaks in a quiet tone. "I wish I had a father. Actually, I wish you were my father, because you seem like a good father. You are doing good. To call and check in so much is good. Sitting on the couch and watching television with them is another way that you are a good father. You spend what little free time you have with them is a good thing to do as a father, right?" Jack has no idea where the mention of television came from, but he can't help but feel better that this man thinks highly of him as a father... Even if he didn't know what one was before he told him.

☎️"Yeah. That is another thing a good father does. You said we met before, right? How did we meet?" There is a creak on the other end of the phone. Wally mutters something, before he says "I am sorry to cut this short, neighbor. I have to go take care of Home. To answer your question, look in the old box of VHS tapes. You have one called Welcome Home. We met when our eyes did, neighbor. You'll understand. Goodbye, neighbor." There is one last click as Wally hangs up.

☎️Later on in the night, curiosity overtakes Jack. He's left a few more messages for Felix, mysteriously being able to call him and not Wally, again. He heads up to the attic, taking out the box of VHS tapes. He finds the one Wally mentioned. A flood of memories fill him, the colorful letters bringing a wave of both joy and sadness through him. He remembers putting this exact VHS into the television's VHS player for his little angels to watch. Maybe just one more time, for the memories? He barely remembers the show itself, anyways.

☎️He sits down on the couch, having placed it into the television. He sinks into the couch cushions, to distraught to be able to force himself into a proper posture. Nobody is watching, anyways. Rosemary went into bed a while ago. The theme song for the puppet show plays, causing him to perk up. That is the exact same song the Wally played over the phone...

☎️"Hello, neighbor." Jack shoots up, sitting on the edge of his seat. Memories are now flooding his head. Happy, joyous, and bittersweet memories of sitting on this couch, hearing that voice... Seeing those eyes stare into his own. "No..." he mutters "... That can't be the guy on the phone..."

☎️He is proven wrong, however, as the yellow puppet onscreen says "My name is Wally Darling. This episode's run shall be dedicated to my friend, Jack Walten 's, two children. We'll miss you, Ed and Molly Walten."

[strawberrickys]

hi I saw u write for epex too and I'm absolutely in to them these days. if u don't mind could u write epex members when u fall asleep on them (before dating)

aaa plz i love epex 😭 yesyes this is so cute

im doing this in bullet points, hope you don't mind ❤️ if you wanted headcanons or if you want me to elaborate on any of them plz don't be afraid to ask! — not proofread, lowercase intended

─────────────────────

epex — falling asleep on them !! (pre-relationship)

×× 곽 다윗 —★ kwak dawit ! wish ···

• will let you sleep unless you look uncomfortable 💀

• hes probably used to his members leaning on him and sleeping on him all the time but.. you??

• oh he's a wreck

• wants you to be comfortable and if it looks like you're in pain even in the slightest he will move you or wake you up

• overall just wants you to rest well, doesn't care that you're leaning on him

×× 금 동현 —★ keum donghyun ! keum ···

• 100% confused and WILL wake you up 💀

• "do you want to sleep? i can come back another time"

• vv worried and wants to know if you're getting enough sleep

• if you tell him you are actually tired he would be so conflicted

• he wants to spend time with you but he wants you to sleep

• prob just ends up letting you sleep on him after, win-win lol

×× 서 경민 —★ seo kyungmin ! mu ···

• will not intentionally wake you up but the second your head hits his shoulder he tenses up enough to scare both him AND you 💀

• will apologize and let you sleep on him ☹️

• WILL take photos of you but will 100% delete them if you don't like them lol

• texting EVERYONE for moral support

• "omg omg guys they're sleeping on me what do i do help help help" but no matter what anyone says he's not gonna move you until you wake up

• has ruined your sleep before, will not let it happen again 💀

×× 조 민우 —★ cho minwoo ! a-min ···

• confused but will let you sleep

• will 100% just. look at you.

• not like out of adoration but like why are you sleeping in the middle of the day and why on me look (out of adoration too)

• eventually understands because he's had his moments too

• might look at something on his phone and laugh a little too loud 💀

• will apologize even if you don't hear him or wake up lol

×× 김 현우 —★ kim hyunwoo ! baekseung ···

• nervous and will tell everyone who walks in the room to be quiet 💀

• will make sure you stay asleep because he wants you to rest and he needs to calm down

• will be vv sweet and will ask one of the members to bring you a blanket or something

• he won't hear but said member will walk away grumbling about how whipped he is

• v soft and just wants you to be warm and happy ☹️ need

×× 권 예준 —★ kwon yejun ! ayden ···

• will try to wake you up, ultimately fails, doesn't try again 💀

• "why me and why now." FEAR. someone help this boy 😭

• thinks that you meant to fall asleep on him and will get delusional /lhj

• will not be able to function until you wake up, whatever he was doing has been long abandoned

• might fall asleep too ngl 💀

×× 서 예왕 —★ seo yewang ! yewang ···

• takes him a second to realize what's going on but will let you sleep lol

• will try to wake you up but when you don't he won't push it

• if you're tired, you're tired, and he wants you to rest

• (so you guys can actually hang out 😭💀)

• will watch you and will make sure you're still sleeping and not just leaning on him to make him nervous 💀

×× 이 재호 —★ lee jaeho ! jeff ···

• you have broken him. congratulations.

• the most scared of them all a literal chill would run down his spine I think 😭

• would be 100% still and would NOT move

• will totally wake you up out of fear plz help him ☹️

• he'd wake you up like yejun but will not give up until you wake up 💀

• will ask you why you fell asleep on him but totally didn't mean to lol

• his ears are bright red please dont mention them he already knows

─────────────────────

thank you for reading this far! ❤️ feedback, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated.

— strawberrickys, 2023.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I know I’ve probably done enough yapping about stsg and how much I love them but but but but….. the way u talked about suguru being jealous when reader has a partner?? Simply because he wants to make sure that you’re being loved and cared for enough??? I’ll actually explode right now oh my god I’m so serious he’s so loving?? I’m gonna be perfectly honest if I was his bsf I would be completely insufferable because if you wanted me to spend even a moment apart from that man you would have to drag me away kicking and screaming HES SO WIFE MATERIAL AUGHHHHHHHH. Oh god but imagine him if reader was cheated on by their partner I need to see him feral and ANGRYYY 🙏🙏 -stsg anon :3333

^ stsg anon this was my live reaction reading this YOU’RE SO……. wow we are just FEEDING each other’s sugu obsession aren’t we 😭😭😭 AS WE SHOULD!!!!!

BUT NO OKOKOK I . this makes me a little insane. FIRST OFFFF i’m so glad u agree??? i just think it’s so vital that he isn’t some possessive douchebag who thinks you belong to him or whatever, he just has a very firm belief that you deserve the best and that happens to be Him LMAO. he knows you better than he knows himself, knows what makes you happy and what buttons not to push — so he really just wouldn’t be able to stand seeing you with someone who’s making you uncomfortable, who can’t give you what you need… :<

tbh that might also be what pushes him into confessing because he’s like im RIGHT here. i can show you what you deserve. i would fold

BUT STSG ANON MY LOVE MY LIGHT THE CHEATING IDEA????????? GENIUS.

oh he would be fucking FERAL alright like genuinely i think that’s the only time you really see him Angry. i’ve talked abt this before but !! to me sugu really is the kinda guy who seems very chill and composed but the MOMENT his loved ones are involved he’s just Fuming. like. he’s soooo scary.

first off. i think he would just be in disbelief??? like he’d believe you INSTANTLY don’t get me wrong but his brain just physically can’t wrap itself around the fact that someone would cheat on you. ESPECIALLY someone who is just so undeserving of you????? he thinks you’re soooo out of their league so just . the idea of it …… he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t want to understand.

but okok so his mother instincts would definitely tell him to focus on comforting you first and foremost. he just has this really insatiable need to soothe you. so if you come to his house and you’re just sobbing then his immediate instinct isn’t ”im gonna kill whoever did this” (thats later lol), but ”i need to make sure they’re okay.”

ohhh and if you call him … he is RUNNING to your house asap. no matter how far away it is. if it’s close enough to walk i think you’d open the door to see him just sweating, panting etc etc bc he literally ran as fast as he could to get to you. sprinting down the street like his life depends on it ohhhh he’s so…

AND THEN he’s just. so soothing. soso gentle. makes you tea and lets you cling to him and urges you to get all the tears out. just rubbing your back and whispering little soothing murmurs into your ear :((( until you calm down. and THAT’S when he makes you tell him what’s wrong.

and ohhhhhhh boy….,,,,, stsg anon………… the way he would just silently go feral. like. you barely notice it. you’re probably too upset to. but something in his jaw tightens and his eyes go dark and his hold on you grows just a smidge tighter, like that protective instinct inside him is crawling out of his skin…

it’s a little tough but i think he keeps it all under wraps as long as you’re there. so he can focus on making you feel better. just reassuring you, letting you know how much you deserve, how you shouldn’t waste your breath on someone so useless. like it’s OBVIOUS that he’s angry yk but he tries to maintain his composure. for you.

but ………….. after that. like. i’m thinking maybe you stay the night and he lets you sleep in his bed (maybe crawls in beside you if you ask for it bc you’re just really in need of stability and he’s far too eager to give it to you), and then you wake up and he’s making you breakfast and just kinda. casually lets you know that he’s gonna Talk to your partner. your ex partner. because if there’s one thing he refuses to budge on, it’s the fact that you’re breaking up with this idiot whether you like it or not. that’s the One thing where he doesn’t even hear you out, he’s not having it, you deserve to be happy and no one is allowed to hinder that.

and so he Talks to them <3333 and by talk i mean he very calmly but firmly tells them never to contact you again, and that if he sees them try they’re dead. (is he just trying to scare them? does he mean it? who knows who knows but what matters is that it works and you dont hear from them again <33)

i just really think this whole scenario makes something inside of him snap. i think that silent fury bubbles up every time he sees you question your worth, every tear you shed because of it. suguru is just so empathetic yknow? it tears him apart inside. makes him want to throw up.

and ohh god forbid you got trust issues after the whole cheating thing… i think that’s probably when he’d confess because he’d quite literally rather die than have to watch you go through the same thing with some other idiot. he really, genuinely, sincerely doesn’t trust anyone but himself to love you enough.

anyway im done in conclusion i love Suguru Geto <3333

[herrscherofsentence]

Saint Cassian Chamber Choir with a trans reader

〜☆

•FtM reader ! :)

~♡

•this can be taken as platonic or romantic !

〜♢

warnings ; me not understanding Ocean’s or Jane’s character, reader is pre-op, mentions of over wearing a binder, Implied transphobia, not from anyone in the choir, mostly not needed warnings but just want to be safe lmao-

-

Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg

•She gets sometimes gets your pronouns mixed up and feels really bad afterwards.

•if you haven’t chosen a preferred name, Ocean will probably help you choose one

•Ocean immediately comes to your side if someone is purposely misgendering or deadnaming you

•If you’re comfortable she’ll get all the teachers to use your preferred name + pronouns :)

•she probably knew before you told her

•overall your #1 supporter

Noel Gruber

•As soon as you tell him he is listing down clothes to give you

•if your over binding he immediately notices based on if your acting any differently. Once you end up taking it off and put on a oversized hoodie wether it be your own or his, you two are still ending up cuddled together. :)

•Someone bothering you? He gets that someone to leave you alone

•celebrates a coming out party for you.

•if you don’t feel like actually going to a hair stylist to get your hair cut he’ll do it, still making u pay though

•he understands how the struggle of identifying as something most people don’t identify as, he knows how fast message flys through the small town.

Mischa Bachinski

•He probably treats you the same as you were just with your preferred name and pronouns.

•Someone gonna to disappear if they are making you uncomfortable.

•He’s probably just like fully taken it when/if you would over bind

•gives it back eventually. :)

Ricky Potts

•I feel like he would give u a sticker that has the trans colors on it.

•He supports you a ton, if he gave you a zolar character, he also makes the zolarian character trans :)

•aaa idk what else to add for ricky im sorry 😭

Penny Lamb / Jane Doe

•She is very understanding

•if your in the choir and she’s the first one you told, she’ll help you come out to them ofc if your comfortable

•helped you in battling the school to let you wear a guy’s uniform.

Constance Blackwood

•checks up on you the day after you came out to her.

•whatever you might identify as she teaching you how to play a recorder, it dont matter

•incredibly supportive towards you :)

[cloverchronicles]

i never know how to get it across to people that i fucken LOVE givin lil’ gifts and treats and doing nice things to make someone’s day better/special without coming across as like,,,,i guess fucking weird or overbearing lol.

like when i want to get newer friends or even like, acquaintances with whom i always have delightful interactions, a small treat or gift for a birthday or whatever, they’re always like “no i’m fine!” “you don’t have to do that!” “you dont need to go out of your way, im okay!”

and it’s like nooooooooo i know you don’t need a gift or expect a treat/gift but i want to give you one! it makes me happy when u get a lil present that makes your day sparkle a bit more. i want to!

but my issue is i know some people genuinely don’t like receiving gifts/might feel uncomfortable receiving gifts from people they aren’t very close to. cause i can understand that someone might worry that maybe i’ve misinterpreted our very casual connection as a deeper relationship, when really im just fucken WILD for lil’ presents.

so i never wanna give someone a gift when they genuinely would prefer not to get one! but ive found many people are happy to receive them, we just all tend to insist that its not necessary and we don’t need one. and its hard for me to sus out the difference sometimes! (cause i dont wanna like, interrogate you lmao)

so now when i ask about someone’s favorite sweets or mention giving them a gift or w/e and they say “i really don’t need anything! it’s okay :)” “you don’t have to do that!” a couple times, i just say like “if you’d rather i didn’t get/make you anything that’s totally fine! but otherwise i would be delighted to treat you :)” and it seems to work

this was rlly long sorry but im excited to think of a birthday treat for my downstairs neighbor today (i have confirmed she would be very happy to receive something, just doesn’t want me to feel obligated. little does she know i am obligated,,,,, by my sick perverted desire to disperse love and sweet treats to nice folks. this fuels me)

anyways if ur still reading this i love you thanks :) i talk too much and this was genuinely the edited down version of this nothing thought

[donnerpartyofone]

At the risk of overstating the obvious, people are so weird on the internet. Like what do they want? Actually I have a personal system for understanding this, in which internet users (by which I really mean social media including anywhere you can leave comments) are grouped by apparent motivation, like:

seeking community

seeking fights (sometimes trolls, sometimes just anger issues)

seeking performance platforms (bloggers, ahem)

seeking information (including media)

seeking opportunities to provide information (blowhards, know-it-alls, discourse warriors, etc)

...those are some basic ones and I think I can usually tell an individual's main motivation, especially if there is more than one example of their behavior. Once you have a grasp of the motivation, even really annoying behavior can become easier to tolerate, or at least to dismiss without worrying about it. Not necessarily EASY, but easy-ER.

Some people are just mysterious of course. I often think about this anon years ago who would do this thing: I'd make a very particular, detailed post about some movie I disliked and exactly why it didn't work. Anon would send me a totally mindless message like "I saw that on HBO the other night, me and the wife loved it! Great acting, awesome story, four stars!" There was nothing argumentative about it, he wasn't trying to debate me or ask a question or add information or even call me stupid. It was so confusing to me, like why tell me about it? I'd post the asks like "This random stranger on the internet has a differing opinion of Movie X." I mean what did he want me to do? I've had people get really pissed off at me because I don't like their favorite thing, and those people are idiots but like, I know what they want. They feel threatened and insecure and they want me to say "I surrender, you're right and I'm wrong," or they want me to agree to have an exciting fight with them. But I really didn't know what this one guy wanted. After I did this a few times, just posting like "Here's an anonymous stranger's opposing viewpoint I guess," he got REALLY MAD and sent me these angry, pained messages about how I'm being really mean and immature and I shouldn't use the internet if I can't handle different perspectives...which was like, not a good description of what was happening. He was coming to my personal, individual blog to file his own opinions as if it were an open forum or something; maybe he didn't understand how Tumblr actually works? It was very strange.

Sometimes when I post an opinion about [x] I'll get replies from people who don't agree, and the people and their replies are essentially civil, but there's that undercurrent of insecurity; they're uncomfortable enough hearing someone hate on something they like that they cannot prevent themselves from pressing the button on "Aw, but I like it!" even though they already know exactly what I have to say in the matter. I find that annoying but I can forgive it because it's so clear that deep down they wish everyone agreed with them, or they perceive judgment of their taste as judgment of themselves, and they can't help acting defensive. But then sometimes someone chimes in to contradict me about something and I just have no idea what their mission is. The entire reason I'm thinking about this right now is that I made this post recently about my dumb ol' movie collection--mostly I was just trying to be funny after a long day of chores--and for some reason when I put it on Facebook, this acquaintance/colleague I don't really know replied with this rebuttal specifically to the part about how I keep multiple editions of things because I might need the extras. I've been in a few binds with formal research where I really needed some interview or documentary packaged with a certain release, and it's not fun to have to source something now-rare that I used to own...and for whatever reason this guy had to leave this sober commentary about how his physical space is at a premium and he never unwisely keeps duplicates of anything because if it's really that important he'll just find the video hosted on the internet somewhere, etc. And I thought...I don't get what this guy wants me to say. I mean first of all we're not in the same category, he doesn't write academic papers that have to be thoroughly cited. But like...why does he want me to know this about him? Am I supposed to apologize for giving bad advice (it wasn't advice)? Am I supposed to thank him for his superior insight? Am I supposed to say "YOU ARE VALID"?

That's probably what I should actually say, every single time someone leaves a reply on my stuff that's strictly about themselves and has no real application for me I should say "YOU ARE VALID!" But truthfully, whenever I get angry or fixated on someone's internet behavior, it's rarely the content of the behavior that bothers me--I know there are people out there who are different from me, and also people I don't like, and many overlapping variations of the two. What bothers me is my own inability to understand why they act the way they do. My question is rarely "Why are you like that," it's usually "Why tell ME about it?" This is why the motivation-sorting approach is so helpful to me in processing people's weird statements and actions, but there are still days like today that I can only deal with by writing four paragraphs to the tune of, "But what does that guy want me to say?"

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

hello hello hope u are having a good timezone! as u might have noticed re: my tags on that shl gifset lmao i'm interested on yr thoughts on this as a wenzhou poem.. cannot stop thinking about the come hope too much. come with all your ghosts. come clown around when the timing's bad. come promise me the world. come trust me to do my best even when i don't. come ask me to give you everything i have. anyway. !!! <3

honestly, i dont know how to present my thoughts without wanting to cry. there is something so raw about this poem that hits me where it hurts. i think this visceral need, of hope, is so essential to tyk, and at the same time, the novel is making a study of hopelessness.

i mean. the main character starts out killing himself; and it is hard not to understand this wish if the very world he lives in is so bleak and devoid of warmth. and after that very important decision, zhou zishu rejoices in every single mundane thing life has to offer; and he can do that, like, he has given himself the allowance to it because he paid for it with his death.

Death was not frightening. It had not been easy for him to survive over the past twenty years; all of the methods he used to pressure Zhang Chengling were ones he had endured in his childhood, but even harsher, and despite him not having the kid's innate talent for withstanding that harshness completely unharmed. (Ch. 45, tl. chichilations) "Why wouldn't i? My junior used to be taught by my hand." .. "Then what did you do if our junior couldn't recite the mantras, or couldn't practice some move?" .. "I made him copy the introductory breath-regulation mantra three hundred times. If he couldn't even practice slowly, then he wouldn't need to eat, nor… need to sleep. In the middle of the night, I would get someone to lock his bedroom up so that he would go into the snowdrifts and come to a comprehension on his own." (Ch. 33, tl. chichilations) He had experienced enough to fear no one and nothing in the world. If he lived in no fear, what was so scary about death? (Ch. 45, tl. chichilations)

and i feel like... like!! he has spent his entire life trying to carve out a place for himself: he perfected four seasons manor’s martial arts into an, uh, art, he dabbled a little in game of thrones politics entirely uncalled for, he discovered he has basically no bottom line, he sold his sect to the empire and built a new organization by himself, he became the most powerful person of the nation second only to the son of heaven. he has, like, done lots of things, and made mostly only bad choices.

but this struggle has always been about living his own life, and it has always been in a transactional way, and now that he has all but killed himself, he is doing it all over again.

However, what was making him uncomfortable was that he had to count the days down until his death. / Having endured so much, his heart's will was stalwart, and never had he had a will for death. Wasn't it ironic that his most free, most unworried, and most cheerful days would be the ones where he was waiting to die? / This was most likely yet another stupid thing that was his own doing. (Ch. 45, tl. chichilations)

and wen kexing is kind of the opposite. wen kexing has never really lived a life for himself, and over his time in the valley, he must have become accustomed to the thought of never having a life of his own ever. he is entirely unashamed of being seen as well, at least regarding the things that are socially unacceptable, like homosexuality and murder, or his general unhinged self; unashamed in a way that speaks of a trial by fire. but he once says that,

"For all my life, whenever I want to happily play around, I can't be happy. When I grew up a little, I wanted to learn arts both martial and literary with my parents, but no one was around to teach me. Tell me… isn't that some very poor timing?" (Ch. 29, tl. chichilations)

in short, he is always slightly out of tune. when he meets zhou zishu, he is slightly out of tune as well. zhou zishu is going to die (at this point, it is all but set in stone), and wen kexing has this plan that ends with a bang, with him going up in flames while he burns all of his past grievances and the devils and demons of jianghu, and that includes himself, away.

"This is the human world," he continued, "and the human world should not have ghosts and demons. The … prestigious Hero Ghao Chong is ridding the world of calamities for the common folk. If we don't lend a hand, would your many years of reading sagely texts not be in vain? I heard that only many years of cultivation can then give you a fulfilled life, but if you don't do anything notable, wouldn't those decades have been for nothing?" / Zhou Zishu didn't answer, but Wen Kexing still turned to ask after him. "Wouldn't you agree, Ah-Xu?" (Ch. 16, tl. chichilations) When cold rain falls, autumn makes itself known; the wutong tree ages and dies. Thin robes offer no protection from a night of bitter winter, years and lives wasting, whiling away... nothing more than this: resentment, that we met so late. (Ch. 29, tl. hunxi-after-hours)

but oh. while they meet, in that space between them, they carve out a place for them that fits just right; a space where they can explore and discover, play and fuck around, and be human. something neither really knows how to. ("and I started feeling myself open, / started feeling my yes coming back / and it was the sweetest thing I had ever known / the reverse of being haunted, / like taking a deep breath / and pulling the fog of the glass.")

and it also reminds me of this:

(excerpt from 'baked goods' by aimee nezhukumatathil, found here)

seriously, the lines youre quoting in your ask, like (grabs wenzhou and shakes them around) thats them!!! its them!!! but the poem has no single line that isnt a banger, almost no line that doesnt fit them. how it starts is absolutely devastating, it reminds me of wen kexing and the valley and his general attitude re: his lack of autonomy. ("I wanted the yes to last forever so badly later on I told myself: / We’re built like drums. We couldn't make songs / if we had never been hit. It was a desperate theory.") it reminds me of zhou zishu's journey (gestures at qi ye at large) and his unceasing downwards spiral, that ends with him (figuratively but also not) in his own grave. ("And that’s how I lived. I mean, that’s how I’d been living. / Decades of no no no no no no / And that’s okay, an accordion could not make a song / if it never closed.") like, zhou zishu is a survivor. the fact that he decides to kill himself has been a long way coming emotionally, but only really comes to pass in the physical world when liang jiuxiao's death kicks him off over edge, and half a decade later, he still remembers him with that misunderstanding in mind; otherwise, im fairly sure, he would have never done so, despite being unhappy and miserable.

"Who?" Zhou Zishu laughed dourly. "You mean the girl at the restaurant? I'll handle her. Liang Jiuxiao … he… he said murderers pay with their lives. Told me to pay with my life." (Qi Ye, Ch. 62, tl. chichilations) Murdering someone should be paid with one's life? Why should it be? In this world, there was a way to make living worse than dying. (TYK, Ch. 20, tl. chichilations)

but wen kexing, even despite being highly aware that he has never really lived, tries to find light in the darkness even in his last days on earth. ruth @specialability said the other day when i was rambling about wen kexing's general attitude re: his own impending death in my tags, "I do think that Wen Kexing is sort of removed from his reality in a dissociative way but he doesn't want to be. He is trying to have life experiences that are not so shitty and I do think there are times when he is very 'present', especially with Chengling," and i agree. they are both in their last days on this earth, and they are desperately making the most of it, because in all honesty, neither really wants to die. this shift from "not wanting to die" to "living", in tyk, happens incredibly slow and not all at once, i think. its a gradual process, a lot must be chosen and decided upon, and before all, wenzhou must allow themselves to believe in hope again.

thats what rattles me so about 'good light', its about how there hasnt always been hopelessness, but now, it is hard to remember how it used to be; having faith. believing in the good. this ardous, sometimes agonizing process of starting to believe in it again, of opening yourself to possibilities again. in the chapter when wu xi and jing qi return to examine zhou zishu again, after they already pronounced him incurable once before, and savable only if he paid a price that turns out to be his bottom line, zhou zishu says, in his pov:

Even though the time he had spent alive could not be considered ‘long’, Zhou Zishu felt that it was sufficient for him to understand this lesson--that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Even if these two people before him could be considered ‘friends’ if he were hard-pressed to, even if he was familiar with how the Great Shaman operated, he still dared not believe it so easily. / Because… it could hurt, this thing called hope. (Ch. 64, tl. wenbuxing)

but oh, it can be so sweet as well, cant it? when youve opened yourself to it, when youve begun to discover life, the world, yourself and who you might be; a second chance, at life, at being a person. like, wenzhou are so weird, but they are also trying out this thing called courtship, called friendship, called mundane life. and its so funny because they dont know how, and the novel absolutely drags them for it and they drag each other constantly and themselves too, no thing is left untouched. but also it is funny, it is hilarious, in this tragic sort of way that makes me want to cry, and also in the funny way because these two guys are just so perfect at being clowns.

but it is also sweet and lovely and raw, and thats who they are, and thats what they allow themselves to be, allow each other to be when they are together. they have, somehow, carved out this safe space with each other, where they can be fragile and human.

(quote above from 'i will' by mistki, found here)

[mrsblackruby]

Once again if you don’t want me to interact as a Billy fan say Billy fans don’t interact. That’s all u should say. I will respect it but …

Don’t say it’s because Ur all racists or something that’s spreading false narratives about us online because if you do at that point it’s not about communicating a boundary. It’s you wanting to disrespect ours so At that point I will clap back if I choose to.

Just say Billy fans don’t interact. Then don’t interact or say shit about us.

Respect garners respect. If you aren’t bringing me up in conversation or advocating for something harmful and you’ve communicated u don’t care to hear me out. I will shut the tf up plain and simple. I would not jump to add anything related to the conversation u started online anymore cuz I would feel like there would be no need to rebuttal further cuz I wouldn’t care.

If you just want to shit talk Billy the character and don’t want his fans to see I understand and I won’t care to engage.

At that point i would feel in the wrong for pressing the issue but if u want 2 shit talk about other fans then say Billy fans DNI then ur coming off to me as a completely scary ass Mfer coward. Don’t bring us up u crossed the boundary first. It shouldn’t be expected 4 people not to engage when ur calling them lower than life. I’m gonna tell u ur a wrong fuck & say be damned to ur nebulous DNI. U can’t respect it ur self.

It’s like u saying you don’t want to be my friend then u keep saying shit about me and getting mad when I defend myself. It’s immaturity.

Don’t want to be friendly then shut the fuck up or expect me to god Damn respond until u block me cuz u can’t defend ur self 😝. That’s doesn’t mean I’m condoning online harassment no never I condone self defense.

I don’t come in the anti tags posting Billy Hargrove p*rn out of respect cuz y’all have communicated repetitively he makes you uncomfortable. I feel differently about Billy’s character tho. Don’t come in the anti tag expecting submission & silence because u have a don’t interact but can’t stop talking shit. Block if u must but it’s not cuz you’ve been wronged it’s because u couldn’t back ur self up.

Just shit talk Billy Hargrove the character don’t diss real human beings and expect them not to show up and clap back. that’s a completely different thing.

Not every Billy fan blocks the anti Billy tag u shouldn’t expect them to. But you shouldn’t shit talk em. In ur echo chamber then act like they’ve poisoned u by choosing to retaliate.

I expect pro Billy post in pro Billy tags.

I expect anti Billy posts in anti Billy tags.

If I see someone has shit to say about me myself and I as a Billy Hargrove fan myself in either tags I will defend until u get my name out ur mouth or run away scared or until I don’t care or until I block u. But I might chose to engage know that.

Expect people to engage when u put something online if you don’t want Billy fans to engage make it clear. Don’t defame their personal character. That’s all u have to do to ensure most Billy fans respect ur DNI; If you don’t want them to engage. Then if a fan of Billy’s does engage anyway they’re the one who disregarded ur boundaries. If u can’t simply do that then you’ve disregard theirs. They haven’t somehow wronged u by sharing their opinion about themselves in a conversation u brang them up in wth. 

Now if you’re complaining about the treatment of some Billy fans make it clear ur talking about some and u don’t think it’s some inherent threat to like and relate to a fictional character.

If u think being a fan of Billy is an unhealthy threat to ur personhood expect clap back

I don’t think being an anti is an inherent threat it depends on how you move do u respect fans of a character in fandom or do u want smoke.

I really don’t gaf if you don’t like Billy or see the story differently. Just respect other fans in fandom. If u can’t do that don’t expect other fans to submit to ur will.

Anyway if u respectively say Billy fans DNI. U probably won’t find ur self in a situation where u block me for engaging with ur post. I’ll try to be reminiscent of a ghost. If you end up blocking anyway it’s cuz u just want to block me not cuz I’m interacting with ur post. I try to respect DNIs when they aren’t just you trying to talk shit with no pushback from that community online. If they choose to push back on the fuckery I don’t blame them.

[chussyracing]

give the opinions please I'm bored at work

getting myself cancelled? why not. i'm on mobile (and it's too late to make coherent sentences) but i'll try to put it all under the cut

in the order anon sent them:

Sebchal - one of the less bad ones but honestly? so much about it was idolised and cliche-ed out of proportions over the years. Seb was going through a lot at the time, as much everyone knew. As a 4 times champion coming to the most prestigious team, the pressure must have been enormous and he was failing the mission he set for himself. I think all of us dumb red horse team fans wanted him to win a championship with said team but it didn't look good and turned basically impossible the day Charles stepped a foot in the team. He probably had a bit of an boy crush on Seb who was still the mighty 4 times wdc and number 1 driver in his dream team. At least for some time it turned pretty sour especially on the track and ultimately every piece of content from that time (minus the infamous helmet message) falls a bit one sided and always has. Not to speak about how fan space is made up by fans first and content second and a lot of fans of sebchal just try to push the "he's like father to him" narrative that I can't help to find mildly disrespectful. I get and appreciate the fandom jokes about grid dads and grid kids and don't get me wrong, sometimes they are funny, but in this particular case it always felt like some people take it too far.

Chewie - one of the best ones honestly. I think they are friendly towards each other, Lewis hypes him like he always does with young drivers and Charles has a lot of admiration for him (and let's be real probably some jealousy too, because Lewis is the greatest driver there has ever been). So far so good but when people in the fandom get involved in shipping them I can easily imagine it as mildly problematic in the classical produced content (like fics fanart and stuff) - with age gap or stereotypes or whatever.

Piarles - I love that Charles has a bestie in the paddock that he grew up with and that he knows better than any other driver and hangs out with outside of racing too. But that's it. It was a lot sweeter back in the day and came out as more genuine. Maybe I just never paid that much attention or their different career moves changed them (and that's valid and definitely not something I should judge) but... if you follow the subtle patterns lately one side comes out as exploiting the opportunities that come out with hanging out of the other more. If you asked me years ago this might be my first go to though so to some extend I understand why people like it. What I don't understand are those who see besties hanging out together and start yelling about them being on a date or being in love or whatever. They got used to it no doubt, because one they're properly famous (which naturally comes with lots of people being weird about you) and two they're both fairly present on social media so I bet they saw things. That's on people who ship them and not on any of them personally tho. As someone who was on the receiving end of those "ur dating haha ur so in love" talks with multiple of my friends in the past, I can tell u that there's just a few things that made me so uncomfortable.

Chalex - this might honestly take the crown for the best current Charles ship? Alex knows him for a long time as well and also knows what it is like to be his team mate during the worst times (puberty lol). I can openly admit I wasn't always very fond of Alex because.... you guessed it, Red Bull. He just came out as quite arrongant (and I guess because for one you need to always be confident about yourself in this sport to continue doing it on such a high level and the moment you stop, you're out, and two of course your self esteem increases if you get a seat in a top team). I properly enjoyed him during the twitch sessions though, he always seemed (and seems currently) as the sweet happy-go-lucky person who knows how to live life fully. He's also a little tease and paired with Charles it just works somehow. Again, I just don't really enjoy when people take it too far and start speculating if it's real and what not. Alex is happily in a relationship and they're good friends who often joke with each other during driver parades.

Charge - this might be short, because there's not much to say. It's cute and I love the vibes. They give off the energy of George calling him snickerdoodle or gigglebunny or fuzzybear while Charles grows more confused and concerned each time and asks what if means to which George just thinks "goodness gracious...." and tries to patiently explain the british gibberish. Sweet, fun and niche but I don't think there's much to work with nowadays so twitch days were definitely more fruitful time for Charge shippers.

In short: I don't have any big problem with Chewie, Chalex or Charge (and if so, they're minor) but Sebchal and Piarles are not as ideal as people make them seem. But then again I don't consider myself a shipper at all, so as long as people use correct tags and don't flood charles' main tag with shipping posts I don't mind them.

[onmymasa22]

I need to understand that my dad might always answer the phone scared that im gonna tell him im in the hospital because something happened to me. 2 or three years ago i was sick and

Those weird but perfect compliments one of ur best friends tells u that makes u say- man, i want that on my death stone..

"Talking to u feels like being at the beach"

There's something beautiful about growing up. Growing past

I don't want a wedding i want a marriage. Id rather spend money on things like waking up in the morning to my favorite mugs. A home that has all my favorite things in it. A marriage of pancakes with whipped cream, dancing in the kitchen and washing dishes to good speakers,

There was a time in my life where i could dance all night. Perfect nights in my eyes consisted of arak and dancing without a care in the world. It meant going with the flow of the night to the extreme. The adrenaline rush of going with whatever and not knowing, but trusting ull be ok cuz ur with ur people. It felt like my home was both everywhere and no where. Stone sidewalks, grass, a couch, a park bench, and a bed were all the same in my head. Its a funny thing, growing up. Because now, perfect is making cupcakes and watching the first harry potter movie for the first time. Its dancing around the kitchen in the morning while making coffee in ur favorite mug. Ur people become the ones

I never thought

For a second i feel weird about weddings i wasnt invited to, parties my friends are at that i didnt know about. But then i remember that im not a party person. Im just not. I hate parties actually. Id rather be huddled in my room with my best friends and watch a movie.

Sheet pillowcase duvet

When ur schizophrenic old dude calls his daughter and it finally goes through and

It's such a good feeling when u say goodbye to all ur old guys watching tv and they say "when r u coming back? Come all the time!" And ur like "I'll be back tomorrow"

Im sorry that what i said was too harif.

I did mean it and i couldnt help myself. It blurted out.

Cuz when im uncomfortable, i blurt things. Im uncomfortable with someone asking me to do something that i cant do. Thats my issue. If u ask me to do something that i cant do, my mind is so comfused.

I wasnt really angry. I was feeling panic. Its hard in a new job. Because everyone is asking you to do things that i dont know how to do or what to do. So i act like im fine, but really inside im in panic mode until i understand better.

Im just in panic mode surrounded by people i dont know the names of, and shes asking me to do things and

When i was there i really got the vibe that she didnt want to move. Every time i wasnt sure what to do, she huffed and puffed if it meant she needed to get up.

Its true that i do stuff but like

Listening to comedians talk about comedy is such a cool thing. The little specks of information u get as to why someones good. Theres a way

Wanna hear something instresting. Im a fourth year art student and after four years of learning how to create, talk, and think about art, the girls in my class continuously talk about the existence of art. Its merit, what makes art art and what makes it hold value and why it isnt the most egotistical thing that exists. Why should someone else care how i think and what gives me the right to put it out in the world and have people listen to me. When we told a teacher our thoughts, she said something really interesting. She didntanswer us. Maybe theres no real answer or an infinite amount of answers to the merit of art. She said the questions don't change. But after four years of learning and growth and discussion, the words change. And take a second to sit in that pride. Those questions will probably not change. But the words will change. Because itll be deeper. Like the maharal says- the essence of the torah will not change. But when mashiach comes and in gan eden, the spaces will change to create different words because we will be more intelligent. Right now we can talk about mcdonalds from the perspective of how it tastes.

So we had a discussion with a teacher

The idea is to become more intelligent.

When i cane to art school i wanted to learn about the world. Sometimes creating is the desire to be like gd.

As you create, the questions dont change, but theres something to having a more and mote intelligent conversation. More intelligence when thinking about it. Thats why we learn torah. What is the value of a deeper understanding of the world, of myself, of hashem, of people. What does hashem say about studying and creating art?

My kind of fun used to be people who always had a bottle of arak and some weed in their backback. It used to be crashing wedding. It meant packing a toothbrush cuz i never knew where id end up sleeping. It used to mean bars and bad music and sleeping in cars at 5am. It used to mean lying on the grass woth friends 1am talking about the meaning of life or getting over trauma. It used to mean constantly being on the go, where i was always the only girl amongst guys.

Post therapy, my kind of fun has changed. A fun night means watching harry potter movie for the first time. Waking up and drinking coffee in the cup my friend knows i love. Going to bed at midnight and waking up at 8. Fun is dancing jn the morning to oldies music or the shrek 2 soundtrack. Fun is safer now. Its feeling loved by the people around me. Its being with people who forget their phones everywhere because theyre noot addicted

I see beauty in old people. The fact that they woke up for thousands of days. I think that maybe the fsct that i spent so many days wishing that i

Can i just say something- whatever comes to u is just supposed to come