#no she is not inspired by gamzee makara at all

[ghoulietbat]

her name is slapstick and her job is being silly meow

[ceabu]

pap pap

[askaniritual]

I don't know anything about the locked tomb, but if you feel up to giving enough context I would love to hear about how palamedes is Sollux.

tumblr should implement some kind of feature that cuts off my access to the app after ive had 2 drinks but! its the next morning and i still want to talk about this so let's go:

tamsyn muir, author of the locked tomb series, was what the kids call a BNF (or big name fan) in the homestuck fandom in the early 2010s, publishing fic under the ao3 username "urbanAnchorite (t_ZM)"

people with more historical knowledge of the fandom than myself have written extensively about the many similarities between the world presented in the locked tomb and muir's fic, particularly her novel length story The Serendipity Gospels, the plot and premise of which clearly inspired the second novel in the locked tomb series, Harrow the Ninth*

some other (noncomprehensive) similarities between the world of the locked tomb and homestuck include

the two main characters each have six letters in their first names, much like the trolls in homestuck

one of the main characters is a part of a cult that constantly wears black and white face paint (in the books it's a skull design instead of clown paint)

the all-powerful godking of the universe is named John

much of the plot of the second novel revolves around the existence of mysterious lovecraftian monsters with the power to destroy the universe

so. we have established that a) tamsyn muir was active in the homestuck fandom and that b) she brought elements of her homestuck fic into the locked tomb series. now, i understand that simply being inspired by lore does not mean that every character in the locked tomb series has a 1:1 homestuck character equivalent and that is true! ianthe for example bears some similarities to the way that gamzee is characterized in the serendipity gospels, but i wouldn't say that ianthe is supposed to be a gamzee equivalent.

however, now we will introduce paraTactician. paraTactician was another BNF in the homestuck fandom. we know that ms muir and paraTactician wrote fic together, and that paraTactician was especially focused on Sollux as a character. In the author's notes of The Last Hearing of Gamzee Makara, ms. muir says: "Due gratefulness to paraTactician, who is like Cheat Mode for what Sollux is thinking or doing at any given time". ms. muir also credits paraTactician in the dedication of gideon the ninth, the first book in the series.

palamedes sextus in the locked tomb is introduced as a nerdy, bookish guy who is an extremely smart, powerful necromancer who wears glasses and is said to have striking eyes. also, he's in love with a princess**. based on all this, i posit that his character in the locked tomb is based on the character of sollux captor.

the easiest argument to make against this is that palamedes' characterization in the locked tomb is fairly different from what i would call the popular sollux characterization in homestuck fic from that era. palamedes is kinder, less crude, less emotional overall, and more of an academic than a gamer. so this is the part where maybe i will start losing people because it definitely relies on a subjective reading of the text and trying to provide "evidence" for this would require doing a close reading of palamedes' characterization in the books as well as sollux's characterization in muir and paraTactician's total body of work.

however, i maintain that if you read their fic, you notice a characterization of sollux that trends in exactly that direction: more focus on intelligence, on absolute dedication to intellectual pursuits over physical being, on a kind of razor-edged wit that creates a sharp distinction between people who are smart enough to speak to him and people who aren't, and a kind of iron-clad belief in doing what's right. if this post wasn't already way way way too long i would talk about the pale solrezi of it all but we don't have time to get into all that.

so to conclude, palamedes is sollux in that he was inspired by the character of sollux captor from homestuck, however palamedes is also not sollux because he doesn't actually bear that many similarities to the character from the comic itself, but is instead heavily inspired by the version of sollux that ms muir and paraTactician wrote in the homestuck fanfiction they were publishing at the time.

also. read the vienna game it's very good.

-----

*this is not a criticism or a critique of either the book or the fic, its just like. an obvious fact and also im not implying that the locked tomb is Literally homestuck fanfiction, there is a significant amount of original worldbuilding in the serendipity gospels that in no way makes HtN a derivative work

**i guess princess-coded would be a more accurate description? she’s important within her house but not exactly royalty i guess

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Jade Harley, Calliope, Aradia Megido, Sollux Captor, Karkat Vantas, John Egbert, Gamzee Makara, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde, Kanaya Maryam, Jane Crocker, Jake English

Candy, page 21

ROXY: thx everyone for joining us today

ROXY: we are gathered here to honor the memory of alternate universe jade

ROXY: alas we hardly knew her

ROXY: by which i mean we didnt know her at all

ROXY: cuz she fell out of the sky like a week ago and was already dead

ROXY: but i think that based on our long acquaintanceship with alive jade we can safely assume that she was totally rad

JADE: (ugh)

ROXY: so were all here to contemplate the vast cruelness of the universe that such radness was plucked in its prime

ROXY: psst callie the roses

CALLIOPE: oh, of coUrse!

CALLIOPE: pUrple roses traditionally represent love at first sight, however these roses are actUally red roses that we prepared Using a blUe dye.

CALLIOPE: the blUe rose is the most elUsive and mysterioUs of all flowers.

CALLIOPE: the combination of red and blUe in this context is meant to evoke the dUal natUre of death, in that there is nothing more mysterioUs and impossible to comprehend than the vast void of the afterlife, bUt also there is nothing that makes Us appreciate the life and and love that we already have than the mystery of death.

CALLIOPE: while death is terrifying, there is always joy to be foUnd among the sorrow. each time we witness death, we fall in love with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

ROXY: woah callie thats a beautiful metaphor

CALLIOPE: aw, thank yoU roxy. u_u

ROXY: dont sound so humble it is v v deep

CALLIOPE: i jUst can’t take credit for external inspiration.

ROXY: lmao cmon callie youre the literal muse

CALLIOPE: yes, bUt yoU’re...

ARADIA: oh no did we miss the entire corpse party

ARADIA: i hope not

SOLLUX: yes that w0uld be *such* a tragedy.

ARADIA: oh shush you

ARADIA: the tragedy is what i dont want to miss!

KARKAT: ARADIA?

KARKAT: HOLY SHIT... SOLLUX?!

SOLLUX: hey l0ser. it’s been a l0ng time.

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A...

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A “LONG TIME”?!

KARKAT: IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME?! IT’S BEEN MORE THAN A FUCKING HUMAN DECADE!

KARKAT: I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE DEAD.

ARADIA: no i wasnt dead

KARKAT: NO, I MEAN LIKE

KARKAT: “GONE FOREVER”??

KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE!

KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE.

SOLLUX: 0h. n0pe.

KARKAT: FINE!

KARKAT: WALTZ IN HERE WITH NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER. SOUNDS ABOUT FUCKING RIGHT.

KARKAT: IT’S NOT LIKE YOUR SUDDEN AND UNEXPLAINED PRESENCE IS ANY LESS OF A JOKE THAN THIS “FUNERAL” WE’RE HAVING.

KARKAT: I MEAN, WHY STOP AT SOLLUX AND ARADIA?

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

KARKAT: NEPETA, ARE YOU THERE? COME ON OUT! THE CORPSE PARTY WOULDN’T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU!

ROXY: SHOOSH everyone!

ROXY: there will be a reception with cake n candy after the service

ROXY: u all can have ur poignant reunions then

ROXY: before we unite in tearful togetherness we gotta unite in tearful loss

JOHN: wait... there’s more?

JOHN: i thought that nice speech callie made was, like...

JOHN: pretty much the funeral.

ROXY: lol no

ROXY: callie and i were just gettin started

JADE: oh my god...

ROXY: anyway where was i?

CALLIOPE: how the infinite mystery of death makes Us appreciate the love we have!

ROXY: right

ARADIA: so i see you managed to get out of the fridge

GAMZEE: i DiDn’T jUsT gEt OuT oF tHe FrIdGe, I wAs SeT fReE sIsTeR!

ARADIA: i see

GAMZEE: wHeN tHe DoOr Of ThAt FrIdGe pOpPeD oPeN iT wAs LikE i Be AlL sEeIn ThE lIgHt AnD sHiT.

SOLLUX: well yeah

SOLLUX: that’s what happens when s0me0ne 0pens a d00r t0 a t0tally dark encl0sure.

SOLLUX: fuck, i can’t believe y0u’re still this stupid.

SOLLUX: 0h wait i can.

GAMZEE: nO bRoThEr, It’S a MoThErFuCkIn MeTaPhOr.

GAMZEE: A mEtApHoR fOr ThE mIrAcLe Of rEdEmPtIoN!

ARADIA: redemption

GAMZEE: yEaH cHeCk It ThE fUcK oUt.

GAMZEE: i DiD My MoThErFuCkInG rEdEmPtIoN aRc. :o)

ARADIA: is that so

GAMZEE: i BeEn DoInG aLl KiNdS oF gOoD dEeDs At ThE lOsT mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

GAMZEE: pReAcHiNg ThE hOlY wOrD. mAkInG oUt WiTh OrPhAns.

ARADIA: oh hmm

SOLLUX: isn’t it “kissing 0rphans”?

ARADIA: let him talk sollux

GAMZEE: i EvEn GoT a HeAlThY mUtUaLlY fUlLfIlLiNg kIsMeSiS gOiN oN wItH tHaT fOxY hUmAn BrOaD uP fRoNt.

ARADIA: its so nice that you believe all that gamzee

ARADIA: i think i can honestly say

ARADIA: im reasonably happy for you?

ROXY: omg quiet in the back already!

ROXY: were tryin to have a beautiful and solemn proceeding up here

ARADIA: oh im sorry

ARADIA: i do agree that its a beautiful corpse party

ARADIA: but i think it would be even MORE beautiful if we could you know

ARADIA: actually see the corpse?

KARKAT: OH MY GOD ARADIA, WHY ARE YOU STILL LIKE THIS?

ROXY: oh lol ur right i cant believe that slipped my mind

ROXY: hey jake a lil help?

ROXY: im like hella pregnant here and shouldnt be doing any heavy lifting

JADE: ughhh...

DAVE: yo babe its ok

JADE: easy for you to say! youve got practice with this kind of thing!

DAVE: just remember its not actually your corpse

DAVE: i mean technically it is

DAVE: it both is and isnt your corpse at the same time

DAVE: which yeah the longer you think about it like that the more fucked up it gets

DAVE: but also when you objectively think about it the combined multiverse is a huge tangle of interrelated but totally random events and its only chance that this specific life is the one you ended up living

DAVE: you and that corpse could have just as easily switched places

DAVE: but also that would never actually happen because its not how paradox space works

DAVE: anyway my point is that nothing really matters so chill out

JADE: um, i love you with all my heart dave but youre REALLY not helping right now

ARADIA: now this is more like it

JADE: i cant look...

DAVE: oh

DAVE: here

JADE: uhh... what... are you doing??

DAVE: emotional support yo

ROSE: Dave.

DAVE: what

DAVE: id like to see you do better

KANAYA: Me Too Actually

ROSE: I’m sorry, but I’m not the one whose questionable consolation tactics are on trial here.

CALLIOPE: this isn’t a trial! it’s a fUneral!

JOHN: haha, they’ve got a point rose, you gotta admit.

ROSE: A point about what?

JOHN: um...

JOHN: you’re not great at consolation? just saying.

KANAYA: Oh You Dont Know The Half Of It

ROSE: Excuse all of you, but I’m an excellent advice giver.

JADE: umm nobody said anything about advice giving rose...

JOHN: oh yeah, the advice is top notch.

JOHN: but you’re kind of a weird person to like... cry in front of?

JOHN: no offense.

ROSE: What??

JOHN: the first time i ever got upset in front of rose irl, she put her arms around me and it was so awkward that i had to ask her if she was hugging me or reaching for something on the shelf behind me.

CALLIOPE: everyone, we’re getting rather off track...

ROSE: I was doing both for your information.

DAVE: the first time rose hugged me it was such a disaster we didnt make eye contact for like a week after

KANAYA: Jade Come Here I Shall Hold You In My Arms

JADE: thank you kanaya at least ONE of you knows how to treat a lady in distress!

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?

JANE: I’m sorry, Mr. Vantas. Do you have another unsolicited political opinion you’d like to share with everyone?

KARKAT: CONSIDERING THE SHIT GEYSER THAT JUST SHOT OUT OF YOUR IGNORANCE CANNON, I’D SAY MY OPINION IS PRETTY FUCKING SOLICITED RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

CALLIOPE: EVERYONE!

CALLIOPE: be qUiet!!!!!

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason.

CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end.

CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

ROXY: look everyone im not dumb ok even tho i act like it sometimes

ROXY: i know whats goin on here

ROXY: that were all drifting apart

ROXY: and i know thats just a normal part of growing up and making new families

ROXY: and i guess learning that some people have unbridgeable divides on political stuff

ROXY: i can accept that things arent gonna always be the same as when we first met

ROXY: specially with dirk gone

ROXY: damn...

ROXY: even though its been more than a year i still feel it like he died yesterday

ROXY: what callie said earlier about death being mysterious and full of love is true

ROXY: i dont know if i ever would have gotten up the courage to marry john if dirk hadnt died

ROXY: sometimes i think about what it would have been like if he was still here

ROXY: i think we can all agree that if dirk didnt kill himself there would be some big differences in the lives of people here in this room

ROXY: i cant say if theyd be good or bad

ROXY: maybe when it comes to this kind of thing... like

ROXY: infinite probability and multiple universes and shit

ROXY: good and bad dont matter

ROXY: theres no better or worse just different

ROXY: even with dead jade here whos to say that the world she came from was actually worse than ours?

ROXY: she probably died a heroic death doin something incredible

ROXY: we probably only have the great lives we do right now because of her sacrifice

ROXY: the universal odds of us all being alive and healthy and together like this are so infinitesimally low that its literally impossible for us to understand with our limited linear consciousness

ROXY: isnt that amazing??

ROXY: so even if this is the last time were all ever in the same room like this

ROXY: i think its just incredible we could be here in the first place

ROXY: out of a sempiternal number of possibilities we are the only incarnation of this exact specific moment in all of existence

ROXY: i think that we should all look around and be super grateful for what we

ROXY: wh... what we

ROXY: wh... wha...

ROXY: whoah fuck

CALLIOPE: roxy? are yoU okay?

ROXY: of course im not ok i just WENT INTO FREAKING LABOR

JOHN: oh my god!

JOHN: oh my god!

JOHN: it’s happening, oh my god!!

JOHN: ...

JOHN: oh my GOD!!!

ROXY: omg john are you just gonna keep shouting oh my god or are you GONNA HELP YOUR WIFEY OUT

JOHN: OH MY GOD!!!!!

JOHN: doing ok there, sweetheart?

ROXY: ugh whyd i let you put this thing inside me

JOHN: don’t worry roxy! we’ll get it out as soon as we can!

JOHN: er, by “it,” i mean our child.

JOHN: we probably shouldn’t be talking about him in dehumanizing terms before he’s even born, huh?

JOHN: seems like kind of a bad omen?

ROXY: omg.......... john SHUT UP

ROXY: i need like six gallons of demerol STAT

ROXY: lets GOOO

JOHN: right! going!

CALLIOPE: wait! i...

CALLIOPE: i woUld like to be there as well!

JOHN: hurry up then!

JADE: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

JAKE: By jove!

DAVE: jesus fuck

CALLIOPE: jade! yoU...

CALLIOPE: yoU’re alive!

CALLIOPE: or, Um,

CALLIOPE: yoU’re not dead!

JADE: i am not jade.

CALLIOPE: then who...

CALLIOPE: who are yoU?

JADE: you know who i am, calliope.

JADE: we met once, years ago.

JADE: you were dead, and so was i.

KANAYA: This Certainly Is A Turn Of Events

ARADIA: ill say

ARADIA: at first i was underwhelmed with the proceedings i have to admit

ARADIA: but that was quite the twist

ARADIA: this may be one of the best death related celebrations ive ever seen :)

SOLLUX: t0p five at least.

JADE: you’re undoubtedly surprised.

JADE: but these events were not unpredictable at all.

JADE: this is exactly what i have been expecting to happen.

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you,

JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

JAKE: Hey uh.

JAKE: Not to come off as a total idiot here but...

JAKE: Who were you supposed to be again?

JADE: my name is calliope.

JADE: i am the muse of space.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

[burningthemidnightcityoil]

BALANCING THE STATS; RAISING THE STAKES

Been a while, huh?

There’s an intimate duality in SBURB, from the Prospit-Derse connection, to Denizens-Horrorterrors, to Underlings-Consorts, to Carapace vs Leprechaun,to even the very mechanics of Classes and Aspects.

Unlike Reality (That which lies within the Universes SBURB creates) where no balance is required, SBURB strives to balance at all costs and all sorts.

Even at its most extreme, where only two players exist, it will compromise its own rules for the sake of Balance (All active classes become the singular Lord, all passive classes become the singular Muse).

The purpose, more than likely, is to ensure that the resulting Universe is as balanced as possible. I imagine missing aspects / elements and missing classes / functions would be detrimental to the intrinsic laws of Reality.

Because of this, SBURB will assign importance to balancing chararacters or entities by any means necessary.

Sometimes its because the pace of the narrative requires this (Time), sometimes its because you can’t have multiple of one thing in the same place (Space), sometimes its because you can’t have more than the same person in the existence (Blood), and sometimes you’re just gone with the wind (Breath).

For example. If you’re a human session that is missing Classes and Aspects, SBURB will inspire the use of Carapaces.

Jack Noir becomes our Thief of Rage.

DD becomes our Mage of Blood.

CD becomes our Bard of Doom.

PM becomes our Sylph of Mind.

(WV is a Page of Blood, and AR is a Knight of Doom-- and whilst Blood and Doom were needed, there was already a Page and a Knight.)

But if you’re, for example, a Troll session that has all it needs, then carapaces are merely your companions and helpers, not unlike consorts. They do not have a classpect unless assigned by a player, any player (Hence why Bec Noir is more a Thief, but Spades Slick has Knight tendencies--... he’s still primarily a Thief though, just extra stuff added )

However.

With the influence of LE / Doc Scratch, the methods of Balance have become Violent and randomly murderous.

And there’s no better way to show this, than Murderstuck.

At the end of the Troll’s Asteroid Arc, Gamzee Makara goes on a killing spree out of seemingly nowhere and no direct explanation (Something so out of nowhere that even today, its nearly unacceptable that it happened at all). Along side Gamzee, Eridan Ampora gives into his genocidal idealizations, and goes on his own killing spree (The logical extreme of a negative character arc).

And prior to this, Vriska Serket kills Tavros Nitram, which seemingly sets off the entire affair indirectly.

The result ends with... ... The Death of Feferi Peixes (Witch of LIfe) by Eridan. (Which life? Not yours.) ... The Death of Equius Zahhak (Heir of Void) by Gamzee. (Void of Air) ... The Death of Kanaya Maryam (Sylph of Space) by Eridan... and her resurrection as a Rainbow Drinker / Troll Vampire ... The Death of Nepeta Leijon (Rogue of Heart) by Gamzee (You could say her heart got literally stolen... I’m not sure if it was, but it’d fit the puning so far) ... The Death of Tavros Nitram, (Page of Breath), by Vriska, which started the affair (The pages of his book of life ran out) ... The indirect Half-Death of Sollux Captor by over use of his abilities, after everything is said and done.

And of course ... the Death of Eridan (Prince of Hope) by the resurrected Kanaya (She created space between his severed halves / destroyed by his own Hope) ... The Death of Vriska (Thief of Light) by Terezi Pyrode, to prevent the death of the rest of the Trolls by Vriska’s self-absorbed hero-playing. (She stole her own chances away)

So why is this violence a corrupted form of Balancing?

... Because they were about to enter the Human Session.

The Human Sessions are the definition of the Mobius Double Reach Around-- a convoluted twisted set of events that are some how all directly and indirectly connected.

Part of the “Cancer” of the Human Universe is this convolution, and the sudden missing aspects and classes, as well as the fact that 2/3′s of the existing players were separated by time and space, and that those filling in weren’t perfect matches for balance (mixed up classes, mixed up aspects).

The problem is... the Trolls were about to reach them, and Post-Scratch Trolls have this issue with brute forcing anything and everything. For example, Culling who and what they deem as needless-- as directed by the infamous Doc Scratch / Lord English.

So, instead of simply fading into the background (as the Scratched Human Session shows-- entities that don’t bring anything to the balance are normally pushed to the side and just left to their own devices, take the Mayor for example, at least until they make a Universe, Enter Reality, and then Destiny can be truly theirs to make), most die in violent and humiliating ways. Those that don’t or those that come back, fill in some niche requirement-- but at horrible cost, because violent death did occur and you cannot undo that kind of damage.

The Human Session doesn’t have a Bard or Rage, so Gamzee survives.

The Human session doesn’t have a Sylph, so Kanaya returns (She dies, because she had a Space Aspect), but as an undead vampire.

The Human Session doesn’t have a Mage or Doom, so Sollux ends up only half dead.

The Human Session is missing Blood, so Karkat lucks the fuck out.

The Human Session is also missing Mind, and Terezi makes a consequence-heavy choice that ensures She and Karkat survive.

There was already a Witch and an aspect of Life, so Feferi not only loses her life, but her importance to the Game. Same with Eridan (Prince, Hope), Tavros (Page, Breath), Nepeta (Rogue, Heart), Equius (Heir, Void)

... And the Human Session is still attached to its Jack Noir, a Thief of Rage, and Vriska dies indirectly from this.

The same happens in the Human Session, albeit, in a smaller fashion.

When the Scratch is about to occur, characters of important that wouldn’t fit with the trolls, are also taken care of (Mostly slain by indirect LE influence--DD is killed by Dave, CD is killed by a Bec Noir gone mad, WV and AR are slain by Bec Noir).

It seems that Jack “Bec” Noir, for all his godly omniscience, is merely a LE corrupted tool of SBURB Balance... with Murder. Lots and lots of Murder. 

This, however, gets “remedied” in Act 6.

The thing about Subjugation in Homestuck, is that it results in a Loss of Importance / Loss of Light / Loss of Will. When you lose your will to another, you lose that light / importance, to yourself and to the world.

(Sub-juggle-lation, as Troll Society calls it, seems to mix subjugation with being made a fool of-- you loss your will to others and in yourself, a rather insidious destruction of self that ties with self-destruction)

When Jack “Bec” Noir fully becomes a Tool of LE, by revelation / perception, then he loses that Importance. His will cannot be stated to be his own in his own actions.

This loophole allows the Balance to “fix” a mistake. SBURB is meant to be uplifting and foundational, after all you become a god and create a universe-- it don’t get much more obvious than that.

That fix is Vriska. Through Terezi and John, by the very nature of altering the fabric of reality’s narrative, bring Vriska back. As a Thief of Light, she steals Jack’s relevance (not that he had any left by that point), becoming the Session’s missing Thief.

And balance is restored.

[neatoburrito12threeto]

Rage and Devotion

OptimisticDuelist recently released a video on hope entitled Devotion and Delusion in which he outlined some of his ideas on the aspect of Hope. While I largely agree with the ideas he sets forward, I feel like Rage is just as linked to the idea of devotion as Hope is, if not more so. Specifically, it seems linked to unconditional devotion to a person or career, rather than an ideology.

Just look at our canon, and semi-canon, Ragebound. The Makaras are devoted to Lord English, and Kurloz inspires this same kind of unconditional devotion to him and, though she remains largely unaware of it, to his master, in Meulin. Xefros is devoted to Dammek to such an intense degree that he is willing to completely undermine his own agency and interests in service of his moirail’s. Lynera is so devoted to Bronya that she kills anyone who she sees as a threat to their relationship and acts as her right hand troll, even though she knows Bronya doesn’t see her as a romantic prospect.

Even Nihkee and Charun, who lack this specific personal devotion to an individual, each have an equally intense devotion to their craft. Nihkee is so devoted to the practice of Muscular Theatre that she refuses to phone it in, even in matches against trolls higher on the Hemospectrum. Charun lives in a cave and appears to have no connections whatsoever save their devotion to the meaningless beauty of Garbage Art, and is willing to risk significant physical injury to acquire particularly appealing materials.

Gamzee’s devotion to Lord English is so intense and unconditional that he betrays his friends in every single timeline, and is willing to sustain countless indiginities and injuries, including  being shot multiple times to bring about the coming of his god. Xefros doesn’t literally worship Dammek, but he comes close. His interest in sports, his personal property, all come second to Dammek’s. A good part of this is undoubtedly Dammek’s  abusive behavior, but with the rest of the pattern evident, you cannot deny the connection.

With all of this in evidence, I dare you to say that Hope is the only aspect with a connection to the idea of devotion.

[lettersofsky]

A SMALL DUMB ERIDAN GAMZEE THING INSPIRED BY THIS THING  because pls

Eridan really fucking hate art today, which is unusual because he usually loved the chance to play around and create to his heart’s content, having a teacher that only really cared that their students were doing something to keep out of trouble was a blessing to say the least. Not that he ever slacked off, no this was a class he enjoyed why would he do anything but utilize the time in the art room to the very fullest potential he was able to? Eridan wasn’t stupid afterall.

But today they had a substitute who thought it woudl be such a great idea to tear them all from their individual projects and work on something collectively for once. Like they were fucking preschoolers and not nearly adults growth.

And to think they wanted to take them away from their own projects to make moodboards as simple as they were. What a daft idea.

Not that Eridan could really say anything about that, no he didn’t want the school to call his Father again with tellings of anti-social behaviours again. Once was enough thank you.

So that was how Eridan found himself seated next to one Gamzee Makara carefully looking through magazines to find something in them that would fit the assignment of a moodboard for himself and

“Hey bro,” oh what did the idiot juggalo want now? He turned to Makara, someone he’d never really spoken to before, in fact he didn’t think anyone really talked to Makara not in this class at least, and glared at him. This better be worth his attention. “you’re gay... right?”

... Where was he going with this?

“Sort of,” Eridan answered hesitantly because while it may have been true that he enjoyed the male physique his heart still flipped in his chest anytime he saw Feferi’s smile.

Makara doesn’t say anything, he just hands him a shakily cut cutout of OH COD THAT’S ELLEN. 

ERIDAN WAS COMPLETELY FINE WITH THAT STEREOTYPE AT THE CURRENT SECOND BECAUSE THAT WAS ELLEN IN THE OUTFIT FROM THE MOST RECENT RED CARPET AND SHE LOOKED GREAT.

He was about to ask Makara if the magazine had a picture of Portia to go along with the Ellen only for Makara to nudge it into his space a second later with a headtilt that reminded Eridan a lot of a puppy eager to please and wanting affirmation that he was doing something right.

Which Eridan gave him when he immediately stuck the two cutouts onto his moodboard.

Makara looked far too proud of himself but Eridan could hardly care at the time.

Later on he would find out that not only did Gamzee not have many people to talk to in school at all but he hadn’t meant for his question to come out like it had, he was just awful at words and couldn’t think of another way to phrase what he’d wanted to ask. That was alright though, they could work on that.

[awfullyhorriblybadfantrolls]

hold me

-

… Hush up I know its bad, I’m not a good drawer or good at coloring so nyeh!!!!

{I think the art is genuinely the best thing about this troll.}

Name: Zoralt “Zora” Dracul {Wonder if shes based off the Zora race in LoZ}

{Id just like to ask anyone who is listening to stop making teal blooded sea dwellers, 2 in one day is 2 too many}

Species: Troll 

Gender: Female 

Age: 7.4 Solar Sweeps (16) 

Derse or Prospit?: Derse 

Fetch Modus: Unknow {Well figure it out, then}

Strife Specibus: {Really? Nothing?}

Weapon: Nagikind (naginata) {we got an asian troll guys}

Title: The Mage of Rage {oh it rhymes, lovely.}

Medium: Land of Dew and Air 

Denizen: Echidna {why}

Troll-Specific Information: {so theres literally nothing about this troll, nice}

Blood color: Dark Turquoise {oh hunty}

Symbol: Dragon Head {where did the dragons suddenly come from}

Lusus: Drakomom 

Ancestor: Kzalsim Dracul 

Horns: split horn, the little horn curve in, that longer horns wave out 

Trolltag: fenneckFires {and now we have foxes?}

Quirk: Talks in a German Accent. Changes W or Wh to V; Th to Z or S; F to V; SP to SHP, ST to Sht; SC to CH; ING to INK; soft C to K; and D to T; When ticked off, she talks(writes) like Gamzee in German. {ok im german and what the actual shit is happening with this quirk. its also kind of derogatory, germans dont speak super heavily like that unless its a cartoon character. also gamzee, my lort}

Matesprit: Gamzee Makara {of course they’re matesprits. of course.}

General Appearance: 

Notable features: scales on her cheeks, neck, shoulders, chest, and legs 

Hair: Shoulder length, messy black hair with dark turquoise streaks 

Disabilities/Health Concerns: Zora has to either be in water or drink a lot of water or drink in order to survive. If she’s gone an hour without it, she becomes dehydrated and will slowly die 

{wow.}

Personalities: 

Zoralt has an infamous reputation for being a hothead - and possessing a sharp tongue! At any social gathering, Zoralt will entered the room as the air starts to tingle with the energy they exude. Enthusiastic, and confident sometimes to the point of swaggering, Zoralt sometimes inspire confidence in others with honesty and quick wit. Natural “movers and shakers”, Zoralt can sometimes be overbearing to lesser trolls who do not share the natural self-perception as absolute rulers of all they survey. However, her great popularity stems from a soft and sensitive heart, which she only reveals to trusted friends and loved ones who delight in their tender concern. 

Not shy in the least about going after what she want, Zoralt can be their own worst enemies. Aggressive to the point of tyrannical, she may sometimes be heard running off at the mouth without thinking. However, after having made a foolhardy decision, Zoralt often recover quickly and continue to follow her hearts’ desire with dauntless determination. Gifted with innate courage, tenacity and intelligence, she has success at whatever field they choose.  Zoralt: Mine Homestuck: Hussie

{this is terrible, thanks for sharing.}

[kinsbin]

May I ask all the questions for the self shipping ask meme?

Absaloutely you may!! -cracks knuckles- here we go:

Under a read more though because THIS GOT LONG KIDS.

1. When did you start self shipping and why?Honestly? I’ve self-shipped ever since I was young. My first OCs were, naturally, self-inserts. I never quite knew what they were called until later, but, I knew that I loved shipping myself with characters because, well, I love them. As people and as characters there was something about them that I just adore and want to appreciate in a way. Self shipping was a way to do that and I super adore it. 

2. How long have you been self shipping?GOD UH- Ever since I was 11 I think! One of my first sketchbooks has self ship stuff in it tbh (/v\);; 

3. Why do you self ship now?Because I want to show my undying love for my favorite characters and, due to trauma as a child and in the past, I have difficulty expressing my intimate self/emotions to people outside of the three friends I’ve known for seven years. I like scenarios I can control and people who I am secure with. F/Os, for me, represent those ideals the best. 

4. Which of your self insert characters is the most developed?GOD my Overwatch chara or my Naruto chara honestly. My Naruto character has existed since the dawn of time so she kind of wins I think. But my Overwatch, in terms of storylines and stuff, has more fleshed out info. 

5. Are your self insert characters 100% you or are they an exaggerated version of yourself/leaning toward an OC?100% me! I have a separate sort of hole or mind place for actual OCs, and they do have their own stories and ships and things! My self insters are pure indulgence and are always exactly me. 

6. If your self inserts are closer to OCs what are some similarities they have with you? What are some differences?

7. Do you have a ‘type’ when it comes to f/os?-sweats- dON’T DO THIS TO ME DON’T CALL ME OUT- I fall for Assholes with good back stories so easily it isn’t even funny. You’re snarky? You’re shown a lot as an antihero? You’ve killed a few people? You tell me about your reasoning and the pain behind it and i’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. 

8. Your top 3 OTPs among your own selfships?McXeen (Mccree x Xena from Overwatch) Is my #1 OTP of all time for myself honestly no one will ever beat it out in rankings!!!

#2 goes to BokuXeenKuro (Bokuto x Kuroo x Xeen from Haikyuu) because god I love my big buff boys.

#3 is hard though it’s either Xena76 (Soldier 76 x Xeen from overwatch) orrr Xenahomaru (Xena x Sesshomaru from Inuyasha) Because both are good. 

9. Your top 5 OTPs among others in the community?I CAN’T DO THIS BECAUSE HONESTLY ALL OF MY MUTUALS ARE SO CUTE WITH THEIR SHIPS AND CHARACTERS THAT I CAN’T HANDLE PICKING FAVES. EVERYONE IS MY OTP. 

10. Has a roleplay blog for one of your f/os every interacted with you?Nah, not that I know of, but I don’t feel bad about it or nothing! I’m happy in my little indulgent corner. I would scream though if one ever did I swear hoghghg. 

11. Are you an artist or a writer in the community? Or do you do something else entirely?I draw a lot and I write a lot? I don’t know if I’d consider myself big in the community (especially bc of the hiatus I accidentally took woops) but I do love doing those things, so, I’ll consider myself both an artist and writer I guess!

12. Name a few of your favorite things about self shipping.I love the confidence it can give people as well as the comfort it can provide. The safety net of F/Os is warm and positive. I like the control you have over the scenarios to make them as comfortable and tailored to yourself as you want within limits. I also love the variety of fluff and smooches that comes out of it!!! Everything about self shipping can be nice if given to the right people ;v;

13. Talk about a positive experience you’ve had with the community.HMMMMM I’ve had a lot honestly! One of them was when a few people just. Messaged me and we started talking about or F/Os and making silly headcanons together and drawing stuff for one another! It was relaxing and super supportive. I adored it ;v;

14. Finally, talk about a few of your favorite self shippers!! (Honestly, talk about as many as you would like!)OHOHOHOHOHOOHHOOHOHOHOH EVERYONE IS SO GOOD HONESTLY.But my fave of all faves will have to be a few people here.

@cheripi is one of my favorites! their art is so adorable and their relationships with theirr F/Os are so detailed and complex I do adore their dedication! I also love how they, like me, self inserts with visuals extremely close/basically themseves it makes me feel comforted that others do it to. they’re such a ray of light i adore themmmmm

@starscloset is another beautiful one! I love her. She’s the one who got me confident enough to make a selfship blog actually! seeing her and the positivity she brought with hanzo warmed my heart and encouraged me to embrace my selfship side of life ;v;

@momomochaccino has been a wonderful friend and positive influence ever since i’ve joined this community! they have such gorgeous art and sweet, positive relationships with their F/Os that I strive to have with my own. They’re super fun to talk and spend time with also!! Just all around a good person

@gamzeeismyboyfriend is an INSPIRATION to me honestly. they have such a healthy relationship with an f/o who not only is one of my favorite characters but just gets so much flack from the community that it hurts . Seeing another person love and cherish gamzee makara makes me so happy for them together ;v; the positivity they share in the community is super important to me!

@lildreamysoul is another person whose been around since i started this blog and, like the others, their positivity is so warming to see on my dash! they helped me to feel comfortable and encouraged more posts and openness to everyone of their mutuals and it warmed me up enough to make more posts.

all in all the community is filled with lovely people whom i adore yoU’RE ALL GREAT

[theorynexus]

Pseudo-Liveblogging: 2B

Your attempt to name John Egbert “Zoosmell Pooplord” has failed.  It was an interesting attempt, considering “Zoosmell” at least relates to the “Biologist” part of his present “ectoBiologist” chumhandle, but Pooplord doesn’t really work all that well with it.  On the other hand, at least you seem to have presciently related the joke name to his command to defecate upon his desk, and the name quite obviously relates well to that of Farmstink Buttlass, who is his (ecto-)biological sister.    On that note, I am sure you are quite aware that Dave Strider and his (ecto-)biological sister, Rose Lalonde, will both also receive failed naming attempts. These shall be much less silly and much more insulting names, Iin2ufferable Priick and Flighty Broad respectively, shall be offered to them by the trolls Sollux Captor (who I have admittedly been spoiled into knowing is actually named Solluxander [which fits quite well with his theme, due to the fact that it is not only bending the rules {DOOM}, but also an example of an integrated “11″ {beenary code/dualism}], though I still have no idea what Pesterquest [I think that’s what it’s called] even IS, and am vague and uncertain as to what the implications for this are, other than it maybe having something to do with gender identity and Shrek) and Kanaya Maryam (respectively).  The names are both rejected in spite of the fact that Rose Lalonde calls Dave an insufferable prick before Dave is given his name, and the additional fact that Dave calls Rose a flighty broad before her name is known.   This was obviously played off as a laughable result of the MSPA Reader trying to “remember” these characters names, when the opportunity to name them first comes up. That this gag is brought up again in Hivebent very briefly (in such a way as to create symbolic connections between Karkat and Dave), and that it is connected to the Honorary Placronym concept the Alpha Kids’ side of the scratch both barely need or deserve mentioning. Neither does the fact that the naming jokes/ectobiology tie-ins continue in later examples.

Your true identity is the Ghosty Trickster. You earn that identity later in life not only via your mastery of the Breeze, which allows you to potentially dissolve into pure spirit/wind and thereby avoid damage; you also earn this title by ushering in the concept of Trickster Mode into the comic, and more importantly evoking the power of the Ultimate Juju (which contains a version of yourself and each of your friends at the time, and is ambiguously related to the Trickster Sucker/Lollipop[s] [which will likely be explained/elaborated upon via the Candy epilogue]), allowing you to play cosmic pranks such as causing your arm to appear across numerous points in various timelines and continuities, as well as allowing a more adept user to teleport themself and their friends fully to any point in space/time (perhaps in any reality), and thereby to further play tricks such as antagonizing the young Caliborn such that you and said friends become trapped in said juju (powering it until it is used as a weapon against him).  ([{Caliborn DOES call him that, by the way, if anyone is forgetting--- or at least refers to his powers as “TRICKSY GHOST POWERS,” or something of the sort.}]) You are also the Heir of Breath, which is a mythological role which quite suits you, on account of the aforementioned identity. Breath is associated with the spiritual, by the way, which is likely your reason for the affinity for the paranormal. At the same time, however, it constantly feels like you are trapped-- stuck, if you will, in a manner which borders on the titular --not just in your home, and certainly not just in your room (which affords a nice view of the Breath Blue sky by means of its soon to be no-longer-confining window), but in a restrictive sort of life, filled with drudgery and inconvenient (yet friendly, in a coddling sort of way) ties with family, which contributes to the general feeling that you are bound to the earth, despite a destiny that clearly lies beyond it. Soon, that will change: you will become the first of your friend group to enter the Medium, though you will have paradoxically proven to have been there all along. You see, you have a Dream Self, which has been living on the moon of Prospit ever since you were born. In fact, paradoxically quite well before it, as well. This self is periodically exposed to the effects of the Eclipse, which allows you to dimly view visions of the future in Skaia’s clouds.  Since you are not awake, there is no chance that you could remember anything consciously, but your subconscious mind has been influenced by these cloud visions for years. As such, your interests have been somewhat tailored to your future, and foreshadow things:  particularly, the movies you are a fan of will both directly effect and reflect the events of your session in a foreshadowing and paradoxically interactive manner. Obviously, Con Air will directly lead into your skits wherein you hand a dirtied bunny to various children and pretend to unite with your beloved wife and daughter (yay, Candy timeline reflecting this with Roxy and Rose just a little bit, even if the relationship between John and Roxy supposedly doesn’t work out?).    However, others are more subtle:  Armageddon foreshadows the Reckoning, and its Deep Impact upon the Earth; Mac and Me and Little Monsters both suggest blossoming relationships (friendship or otherwise) between humans and monsters that look like Howie Mandel in weird monster makeup [with Karkat’s small horns possibly being a reference to the alien in Mac and Me, but I’m not sure]; Ghost Dad relates to Nannasprite, Ectobiological “fatherhood” over all of the Kids on John’s part, and of course Dad’s death (and post-death “haunting,” once John sees Jane’s father in the Alpha Kids’ session and/or before that, when the version that sacrificed himself for Davesprite’s sake met Vriska and then briefly saw a “Ghost Dad” in a Dream Bubble); Ghostbusters is just silly, though I guess it could maybe be a long-term reference to the eventual double deaths that start going around; otherwise, it is probably related to Slimer seeming like the ghost on John’s shirt, or just general paranormal silliness ([obviously, unleashing an evil god through a portal connecting two worlds has nothing to do with it]);  aaaannnd... I can’t remember any of the other posters for now, and won’t be skipping ahead to see them, yet, considering I am doing this in a linear and sane manner. For years and years, you have been demented by the horrific image of a Clown Missing an Arm and an Eye, an insidious result of Gamzee Makara’s manifestation of his dark ancestral chucklevoodoos, which directly contributed to the destined destruction of your universe by means of Jack Noir (Blackjack, Ace of Spades, the Joker gone wild), whose black affections were made to boil and Rage by his Bardic inspiration-- so exceeding his natural affinity for the Black Queen that he would usurp her and become the Sovereign Slayer.  By means of his Rage-inducing chucklevoodoos, you became mentally unstable, and would come to scrawl colorful images of harlequins upon your walls and posters in periodic fugues, much to your own later disappointment and shock. This would cause your Dad to embrace a hobby of collecting and gifting harlequins to his dear, sweet, adopted John in order to try to show he appreciated his twisted child and was attempting to relate to him. Throughout your childhood, you and your friends would attract the attention and ire of various other trolls, leading you to have a negative disposition toward the creators of your universe and to ironically lose much of your precious time early in the game disbelieving them or otherwise being unable to cooperate alongside the alien player group; whereas there would have been a good possibility that if they had contacted you after you had entered the game and declared they were another group of players, it would have been much more likely that you would have believed them. That might have smoothed things out significantly.  Oh well. Them’s the 8r8ks. Speaking of, you would be patronized by a spider-themed troll who was particularly excited to insert herself into your personal progression and rise to godhood.  That trolls name will remain a Sekret, at least for now.  She is a very divisive and inter8sting character. While all of these aforementioned facts have a very important influence on your life and the progression of your story, the fact that you are descendant (by way of adoption) from Colonel Sassacre and Betty Crocker will also greatly shape the environment you grow up in. As will your interest in Harry Anderson and his biography. The latter person is not very much elaborated upon in the story, though his hole punching tricks are used to inspire advances in punch card-based alchemy.  The former two, I shall address more when I reach pages relating more to them. In the meantime, I am thinking I might accelerate my schedule on reading the Candy epilogue. As I was attempting to look up the Wise Guy book so I could double check that Harry Anderson doesn’t come up as being, say, secretly the guy who, I may have slightly spoiled myself on it by seeing that there is a character named Harry Anderson Egbert, apparently, and I don’t want to expose myself to too much more potential spoiling. There are too many questions that fact generates by itself.   (My guess would have to be that, if Terezi was correct about John and Roxy not working out, either the kid is born before they break up and therefore one of them takes up the traditional Homestuck role of being single parent to the child, or alternatively, John ends up adopting them as an apparently unnamed baby, continuing the tradition of a guardian discovering a mysterious seemingly abandoned child, possibly in debris of some sort.   The former seems more likely, given the bitter taste that’s supposed to settle in after the sweet of the candy wears off.) Soooo... Yeah, I think I might do one more of these posts and then start up the other epilogue’s read.   Or just start after this. I don’t know.

[musicmushi]

hmmm harvest fog spice and maize for the ask thing!

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why? 

*deepest sigh* I can hardly between my children! But okay I think it’s pretty safe to say that I most identify with Aradia Megido like I always had this idea that if I were to remake homestuck scenarios to fit real world logic, I’d basically make have the easiest time with Aradia’s story. Her life, death, robot, life again arc really speaks to me and the moment when she smiles and is like ‘I’m very much alive and I intend to stay that way!’ is the realest shit to me! I could really go on forever how I feel connected with my spoopy ram child. Also the whole ghost and occult thing is so full of YES! (Also also I really relate to Tavros but he’s more of a inspiration for me)

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

I believe that you’re really only as good as the team you surround yourself with. Which I mean to say that singular skillsets are indeed important but like with all apocalyptic scenarios, the best way through it is team work and trust. That being said I will probably either be the last bitten or the first. I would make a decent lookout but not much more. 

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

Yes I lived in an old farmhouse that was suspected of being haunted by some previous owner and one time when we were trying to make the place livable before officially moving in, my step-dad was fixing the electricity in the attic and my mom and one of the workers heard an awful blood curdling scream come from the attic. My mom freaked out thinking my step-dad got electrocuted but when they rand over to check on him he was completely fine (unfortunately) and really confused as to what my mom was freaking out over having not heard a single thing before my mom and the worker barged in to check.

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

Well this isn’t technically the street but considering what happened it might as well have been. But first just so I keep in line with the rules, the strangest thing I ever had happen to me dealing with street strangers is I’ve had multiple guys stop me while I’d be walking around my old city and they’d ask me if I had a boyfriend or try to request sexual favors or something. I’d just be like ‘please just let me walk home from the grocery store in peace’

OKAY now for a specific story! 

So while I was living at this same city, I would pass the time with walking around for blocks just listening to my music and minding my own business. I decided to do this early one day when it was like...the ending edge of a sunrise and I walked around till like...11 or 12 noon or something and I decided to stop at the library to take a breather and kick myself for not eating beforehand. 

So I’m sitting in the library just taking in the quiet and relax before I plan to set out for home again and there’s this guy that’s sitting across from me and he’s like ‘sup’ and I’m just like ‘hey’ because I don’t wanna be rude and ignore a simple greeting. 

Anyway, he starts doin the small talk thing like askin things like ‘hows it goin’ and simple stuff and I’m a friendly person so I’m answering casually and just bein myself and he tells me he’s an artist that does commissions and I was like ‘oh cool!’ because it is cool and I’m always happy to hear that there’s artists in this freakin state I live in. SO he pulls out his phone and sketchbook and he’s showin me his portfolio basically and everythings cool for a little bit until he starts typing in his phone and I’m thinkin ‘oh he’s obviously texting someone right now’ like the small talk session is over and he doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore like okay cool whatever. 

But then he waves me over to show me his phone.

He shows me what he typed and it was something like ‘what would you say if I asked you to have sex with me?’ and I start fuckin panicking internally because wow NO! I’m immediately made uncomfortable and I want this exchange to end but I don’t wanna be rude or jumpy or anything so I just look at him and laugh awkwardly like ‘haha you’re so funny no of course I don’t wanna have sex with you! I dont even know your name! Get the fuck out of here!’ (I didnt actually say that though) 

So I laugh at this and then he laughs which feels like a relief to me like ‘oh thank god he was just joking okay’ so the topic drops for a little bit and I kinda wanna go home now but I can’t just excuse myself because I don’t wanna be rude or anything. He waves me over again for me to read another text thing on his phone. It was another sex proposition and he was like ‘yeah but no for real though’ to which I reply with confusion and a polite and awkward ‘no thanks thats okay’ and the topic drops and I’m thinkin that I wanna go home NOW!

Well I don’t know how this happened but I somehow agreed to walk with him to some batting range or something because he wanted to hit some baseballs and eat from the concessions stand thing they have there I guess and I was like super hungry so I was like ‘eh food okay’ and I didn’t want to upset this guy or have him stalk me to my house or anything so I just go along. He leads me out of the library (after I tried to sneak out ahead of him and he was like ‘aw cmon I dont bite you dont have to be scared’ which just scares me even more but OKAY) 

So anyway he leads me out and we walk to the range and we start talking about movies or rather he goes on about his favorite movie and I kinda nod and let him go on and during this I let out that I really like voices and voice actors and he’s all ‘I can do a really good stitch impression!’ and I was like ‘oh really thats cool’ and he does it and I’m just like ‘yep that sure is a stitch impression’ and in my head I’m praying that he didn’t just spring that on me to like impress me or woo me or something. So some more conversation happens and he brings up what he had me read earlier and I’m like ‘yeah I don’t get what your deal is like why would you ask me that? I’m all fat and sweaty and gross and I look like a homeless person’ and he scoffs and is like ‘ya know I really hate when girls talk about themselves like that. If I weren’t so sure you’d probably hit me, I’d kiss you right now to prove you’re pretty’

!!!! BEEP BEEP BEEP THIS IS YOUR MENTAL WARNING GO THE FUCK HOME NOW!!! BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!!!

At least that’s what went off in my head when he said that. But I didn’t listen because I was now alone with this guy walking on the side of a single road to a place I’ve never seen before. Not the smartest thing I’ve ever caught myself up in. So I really don’t wanna end up on this guy’s bad side because I have no idea what he’s capable of or willing to do if I make him upset. I laugh at this thing like ‘oh haha that’s weird okay yeah no don’t do it’. So the topic is officially dropped, the batting range is closed so we decide to walk back to a gas station on the way back to the city square. As we approach the gas station he asks me if I have a boyfriend and I kinda panic and I’m like ‘yeah! uh he’s out of state though’ and he’s like ‘oh! That explains it! Ya know you’d be more fun if you only got fucked more often’

What????!!!! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???!!!! Can someone please explain this? Because I still don’t get it.

Again I don’t say anything I just sorta laugh awkwardly and the whole time I’m stickin with this guy because I don’t wanna be rude or mean or anything and I dont wanna upset the dude both out of fear and a weird sense of courtesy. So after that mess we go inside the dang place and he asks me if I ever had faygo before. My brain is so full of what at this point I’m somewhat convinced that I’ve been creeped on by fuckin Gamzee Makara at this point. I mean not really but you get my point of thought process here. I tell him ‘yeah I like it okay’ and he then tells me that he’s a juggalo and asks me if I’m a fan of ICP

!!!! Hhhhhh what the fuck did I get myself into??

I say no and I mention that it all just ‘reminds me of a webcomic I like because there’s a juggalo that likes faygo a lot and you should check it out you’d like him a lot’ and I tell the guy the name and he’s like ‘cool’ and so we get to the faygo and I’m lookin at the choices trying to decide on a flavor and the guy just fuckin grabs a random-ass bottle from the fridge thing and is like ‘here youll like it’ and I’m just like ‘okay whatever’ and I pay for the whole thing including some cigarettes that he wanted because I’m so nice or rather because I’m a scared little pushover that just wants a decent transaction and nothing bad to happen.

So after all that and some more idiocy from the guy I’m finally able to get away from him and back home without him knowing where I live and I told my mom as soon as I entered my house and she thought I was being overly paranoid and that this guy coulda been really cute or something. I decided to stay inside a lot more often after that and I never ran into him again.

The key problem I had was a fear of being told that I was being a bitch or something so I never said anything when things actually scared or worried me. I just went along with the uncomfortable words in the hopes that it was all just some joke and I wouldn’t get hurt. Maybe I was being paranoid jumping to the worst conclusions but thank god nothing physical happened. I can’t help but wonder what woulda happened if I was more firm from the beginning...I probably woulda gone home a lot sooner and avoided the story I told you. I shouldn’t have been so scared to be ‘rude’ because its not rude but I don’t like people telling me I’m being rude or selfish so I end up being a pushover. Don’t be afraid to be ‘rude’ when things bother you. I mean don’t be a destructive bitch or anything but polite assertiveness and a firm ‘no’ is not rude. Don’t do what I did.

[othercat2]

fic: two for mirth 40/?

They go to Earth, of course. It’s the home world for humanity and the central seat of government for the United Planets of Terra. Karkat talks to prime ministers and attends hearings. He talks to activists and reporters supporting one position or another. A lot of the conversations are hostile, but Karkat argues them down. It’s not too much different from speaking for the Heiress, while Feferi was looking for allies prior to her Challenge. (It’s also not too much different from the alliance talks during the Challenge.)

Dave is brought up frequently as a bone of contention, or a trump card, as if his arguments were any less true because of Dave. (He’s not surprised that this would be the case.) Karkat finds himself arguing a lot about not only Dave, but Gamzee. Trying to explain Gamzee’s sense of humor and motivations are hard, and also a little exasperating. He doesn’t want to defend Gamzee, but at the same time, he feels he has to. Dave watches this for a few days, looking amused before he steps in during a talk show interview. “Master Makara probably didn’t know anything about the Empress’  plans to have the Emissary investigate the treatment of her gifts,” Dave says in answer to a question to Karkat, John translates. “I say probably because who even knows. I spent a perigee with him and I still couldn’t figure him out.”  

Kamala Nguyen, their interviewer on a late night program frowns. “You have to admit it seems suspicious, that he would attempt to discredit--”

Karkat is about to interject angrily when he’s surprised by Dave making a warning sound. It’s a loud blatting buzz with his mouth and fingers, a fairly accurate impression of the sound that indicates that a hatch or gate hasn’t been closed correctly. Ms. Nguyen straightens, looking surprised. “Nope,” Dave says in English. “Master Makara would never try to discredit Karkat. They’re moirails and that’s kind of important.  This is more of what he’d call a prank from the Mirthful Ones, I think. Something put in motion like we’re all in a romantic comedy being written and directed by terrifying eldritch pranksters.” The rest is translated by John.  

“A romantic comedy?” Ms. Nguyen asks skeptically.

“Well I’m sure master would like to be all ‘this is a political drama with some action’ but no, it’s a romantic comedy. In Which A Former Alien Gladiator and A Romance Author Are Thrown Together by Fate in the Form of the Author’s Highblooded Moirail Who Wants To Manage His Moirail’s Sadly Empty Quadrants. Featuring Pro Emancipationist Rhetoric a Slow Burn Romance a Number of Surprising Revelations Concerning the Highblood’s Actual Motives and Lots of Awkward Discussions About Consent. Warnings For Xenophilia, Quadrant Smearing and Aquadratic Characters,” John translates for Dave.  

“Warning for Aquadratic characters is orientation shaming and inappropriate,” Karkat grumbles, because he can’t help himself.

“Little steps, master. Representation is important but we can’t shock our fan base,” Dave says in English. “Gotta let them know what they’re getting into.”

Karkat snorts. “‘We?’” he asks. “Still not ghost writing your memoirs, Strider.”

“You’ll have no choice; you’ll be lured closer to the pit by the smell of bad grammar and typos. Then my tentacles of prose will drag you under,” Dave says in English.

The conversation turns in the direction of the hypothetical memoir, then briefly back to Karkat’s position as Emissary before it’s time to end the interview.

After spending some time in the green room talking over the phone with  Ampora they head back to the ship, Dave and John talking about the hypothetical memoir. “Are you really thinking about writing a memoir?” John asks Dave once they’re in the limo.

“I dunno, maybe,” Dave says. “I will totally write it as a romantic comedy though,” he says with a teasing glance at Karkat.

“You can write it like fan fiction,” Karkat says. “A coffee shop AU where you stumble into acting as an auspistice for Terezi and Gamzee.”

“Where are you in this fan fic?” Dave asks. “And am I customer at this coffee shop, or a minion of the coffee shop?”

“Minion. I am a mysterious benefactor who you at first only know by the sound of my voice,” Karkat says. “You don’t know until midway through the story that Gamzee is my moirail and Terezi is a good if exasperating hatefriend of mine.”

“Not a potential kismesis?” Dave asks, looking amused.

“Regrettably, I’m still myself in this story, and therefore pretty much all over the place in regards to my quadrants,” Karkat says.  “Also, a mutant and a terrible choice for a concupiscent quadrant.”

“But my hapless flailing because of the ashen flirting awakens a spark of true pity and or sheer exasperation that inspires you to come to my rescue.”

“That and I’m pretty sure Gamzee and or Terezi will kill the coffee shop owner for punishing you for your interventions, rendering the workers’ lives even more complicated and unpleasant.”

“Gotta think about the lives of those ordinary workers, struggling to earn their allowances and buy their retirement,” Dave says, nodding.

“Are you flirting?” John asks, looking a little red in the face. “I’m pretty sure both of you are flirting.”

“That would be a thing that’s happening,” Dave says.

“Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Egbert?” Karkat asks.

“No!” Egbert says quickly. “It’s just hard to tell sometimes?”

“Don’t worry we’re not gonna start macking in the back seat,” Dave says.

“That’s really, really not likely to happen,” Karkat says.

“Master’s shy,” Dave says in a stage whisper to John.

“I have a sense of decorum,” Karkat says in an attempt at a quelling tone. Predictably, it just makes Dave grin.

Dave teases John all the way to the ship and Karkat joins in with an occasional comment of his own. Though there had been a few rocky incidents--like John’s attempt to rescue Dave by purchasing him--Karkat was beginning to feel more than a little hatefriendly toward the human. John was an intelligent if occasionally oblivious individual and watching Dave reduce John to sputtering near-nonsense was entertaining. (John occasionally won the bouts, though not by very much.)

Once in their quarters, they occupy themselves with social media, Karkat on the console, Dave reading on the human equivalent of a husktop, reading the reactions to the most recent interview. (They start a thread with each other on a forum site. Someone asks: Okay so you are both in the same room pretty much? WHY are you arguing with each other in this thread? Dave responds: sometimes is more comfortable to talk in text Karkat writes: YES. THIS IS MORE COMFORTABLE FOR ME ANYWAY AS MOST OF MY EARLY SOCIAL INTERACTIONS WERE VIA TEXT.) The conversation wandered off into the realm of early social development.

After an hour or two on social media they retreat for the couch and the entertainment center. Dave is exploring Terran musical genres so a lot of what they watch are music videos. Karkat notices a certain theme to the lyrics of a number of songs three songs into the most recent playlist and gives Dave a suspicious look. “‘Grind,’ ‘Pump,’  ‘I Want Your Honey’?” Karkat asks.

“Just some songs I want to try out for future dance routines,” Dave says with a little smirk.  

“Pitch dancing to plainly red concupiscent songs?”

“I’m branching out, maybe,” Dave says. “Gonna master all the quadrant styles. Wait, what would ashen dancing look like? Or pale?”

“It wouldn’t look like anything,” Karkat says. “Well okay, there are artistic compositions about moiraillegiance and auspistism but the style you were being taught is a purely concupiscent style.”

“Maybe I should watch them, to practice for Terezi,” Dave says. “Get all pale seductive in her grill.”  

“She gets sad, doesn’t always believe that she’s done anything good or worthwhile, which is plainly idiotic, but depression generally doesn’t make sense anyway,” Karkat says. “Make her breakfast, make her go out to see the moons every so often; she’s actually worse than Sollux if she isn’t on a case.”

“Spilling the beans on your hatefriend?” Dave asks, smiling a little.

“Relaying easily observable facts,” Karkat says, mock-defensively. “Such as a playlist with a theme, and you not answering my question.”

“Your question was literally just repeating song titles, master,” Dave points out. “I have no idea what you mean.”  

“Implied question: are you setting a mood here or something?” Karkat asks. He’s surprised to see a faint blush on Dave’s cheeks.

“Maybe,” Dave says, averting his gaze slightly. “So I figured either you thought I wasn’t ready for the full sex, or you weren’t ready, therefore, mood music.”

Karkat felt his own face heat up, which was ridiculous. He wasn’t some newly Ascended flush ingénue; he was an adult, dammit.  “Mood music. For me or you?” He asks dryly. “You should know my taste in concupiscent music by now; this isn’t it.”

“Well, fight over the remote to make the music stop, kissing, below the pants action,” Dave says. “It’s a romantic classic?”

Karkat pretends to consider it. “It’s acceptable, for a very pre-Ascension style romance like the Black Candy Crush series. ‘Two hatefriends meet for the first time and discover pitch feelings for each other and it’s adorkable.’”

“So you think my mad romance skills are on the same level as a romance book for wigglers?” Dave asks with a frown of not-quite-mock disappointment.

“Only a wiggler thinks there’s something wrong with reading romances written for wigglers,” Karkat says. “Wigglers are so desperate to grow up and matter they think rejecting what they liked as a wiggler is part of being an adult. It’s really sad.” Karkat sighs and shakes his head.

Dave stares at him. “I am not a wiggler,” he says. “Okay, you’re older than me by a few sweeps--”

“Five, at least,” Karkat says. “That’s a pretty considerable chunk of time, for a human.”

“Yeah, I would have been past my prime in another seven or eight sweeps. Maybe I still will be,” Dave says, and wiggles his eyebrows.

“You’ll be just as obnoxiously pitiful and I wouldn’t mind having you around, that is if you still had an interest in my decrepit ass,” Karkat says.

“I’ll push your four wheeled device out onto the patio every evening,” Dave offers. “Serve you soft boiled eggs and cool featherbeast broth for breakfast every morning; mock your collection of literary awards.”

“Heh.” Karkat leans in for a kiss, makes a surprised little grunt when Dave falls back onto the couch, taking Karkat along for the ride. “I’ve gotten one--oh.”  Karkat can feel the line of Dave’s rigid bulge pressing up against him. It makes his bulge shift and press back.  He starts to rise up a little, but Dave pulls him close.

“You’ve got one?” Dave asks mock innocently. “I’ve got one too, and I think it’s past time they had their first play date.”

Karkat sputters, somewhere between laughter and outrage; then Dave is kissing him again, and coherent thought fucks off, never to be seen again.

==>

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Note: I have started a Patreon for my original fic (I’d say early chapters of fan fic as well, for patrons, but I’d feel obliged to add all the previous chapters of my current projects which would be a pain. So that will have to wait for new fic projects, that I can start from the beginning.) I could really use the money: and more money means more fic! Check me out and hopefully sponsor me (or fill my tip jar in my blog’s side bar.)