#no seriously this jumpscared me so much the first time it happened

[one-chaotic-neautral]

The experience of every malevolent fan

[lovewithmary]

(not) moving on — a max verstappen x stark!oc x charles leclerc series

★ fc: madison beer ☆ summary: evangeline "evie" stark is in love with her best friend, max verstappen, but he tries his best to keep her at arm's length. but what happens when she starts to get close to his fellow drivers in the paddock? ★ note: idek why i like creating stark ocs, but it’s fun. This is purely for my own entertainment but I don't know if I'll continue it. It depends if people actually want to see more of this. (realistically, I might continue it because I want to see it lol) btw how do people do the subtitles?? like I'm so curious I want to do those

schat = darling in dutch

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eviestark: life lately 💜

comments

user1: MY WIFE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP???

user2: she’s actually living the life rn

user3: SCHAT??? ANG???

user4: the random tony stark jumpscare in the photo dump LMAOOOO

user5: who is the guy with tony stark in the 7th photo?? ↳ user6: i’m pretty sure that’s peter parker, an employee of stark industries??? he’s started out as an intern in high school but he’s rumored to be the COO once evie becomes CEO of stark industries

user7: WHO TOOK THE 2ND PICTURE

user8: not the single guys from the f1 grid in her likes 😭😭

user9: THE WOMAN IN THE BACK IN THE 7TH PICTURE IM CRYING

user10: the first and second picture giving me 'boyfriend took these for me' vibes

user11: she looks so pretty and happy in the 4th picture <3

"You're playing with fire by posting our text messages, Ang," Max said, his voice shushed as he walked around the paddock.

"It's fine, Maxie. They'll probably connect me to a random famous person who is Dutch and then it'll blow over in a week," Evie dismissed.

"It doesn't really help that the guys are in your likes constantly," Max grumbled, and he heard Evie laugh.

"Some of them are pretty cute, and I think some even tried messaging me but I never saw them until it was late," she responded.

"Who?"

"Aww, Maxie, are you jealous?" Evie cooed, her tone sweet yet mocking at the same time.

"No... I just never expected them to be brave enough to message you," Max said.

"If you must know, I think it was Charles and Lando who tried. There are probably others, but I haven't seen them,"

"Did you respond to any of them?"

"Of course not, I'm loyal to you and only you,"

"Schat..."

"I know, I know, you wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole like that," Max could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"You know we're just best friends, right?"

"And I'm saying I'm loyal to you and only you as a best friend."

"Are you doing anything soon?" Max was quick to change the subject, feeling as if he didn't, awkwardness would settle in and he hates it whenever Evie doesn't speak since he's fully aware that he loves hearing her talk considering how passionate she gets about things.

"Stark Industries' Gala is happening and Pepper's making me get a date for the event,"

"Why's she making you?"

"Something along the lines of I have to be seen with someone that isn't MJ, Peter, Ned, and Shuri," Evie sighed.

Max laughed at her situation, knowing that while Evie knew a lot of people, there were only a few that she could trust completely. And luckily for him, he was one of them. He was probably the first, considering they've known each other since she was 6 and he was 8.

"Good luck trying to find someone,"

"It's not even trying to find someone I'm struggling with. It's trying to find someone that's decent enough to spend my night with,"

"Who were you going to ask?"

"Well, I was going to ask you, but since we're best friends I don't think me bringing you as my date to the SI event would be something best friends do,"

"I'll go," Max said, shrugging.

"Wait, seriously? Like you going means you actually have to dress up,"

"I know,"

"The dress code is black tie. That means you can't wear your Redbull uniform like you're a walking billboard,"

"Do I really wear it that much? I saw people that were shocked when I wore a white t-shirt,"

"You're a millionaire who wears the same thing every day. So basically, every millionaire man,"

"I'm going to wear Redbull head to toe to the Gala now that you said that,"

[ganondoodle]

(probably very problematic opinion on the english voices in totk

watching skittybitty's totk video for the 27864269th time and i STILL get jumpscared by the english voices, anytime anyone ever opens their mouth it just sounds like they took some random person they caught on the street to monotonely voice a line in one take, and sometimes one of them rly likes to pretend their are doing a voice but it just sounds like a little child imitating their granpa or someone trying to overact to their toddler, its especially sad for ganondorf, its hard to hear any of them for me but gan i start laughing and have to skip it bc thats NOT gan, thats me doing my worst evil guy impression, or zelda, thats not zelda talkign thats me doing a sarcastic uwu lil princess voice

to be clear, i have nothing agaisnt the people voicing them and i know people like the guy doing the gan voice but none of them fit at all and none feel like they are actually coming from the character, much more so you muting your TV and talking over the people on screen making shit up as you go for shits and giggles, i dont know what happened here, why are these SO bad, i listen to plenty of movies and games and whatnot in english and i only ever had a similar problem with the english voices of ghibli movies -though that could be bc im jsut so used to the german ones, which are fantastic- or maybe an extremely old game that was just weird on its own even

i take no pride in hating the voices, espeically knowing how badly voice actors are treated and often replaced with some shitty celebtrity, but i truly do not get why they are so bad, the voices themselves never rly fit, and even if it would be passable, they are all speaking in a way where it either sounds like they are some guy sitting next to you reading a line for the first time or overemphasizing so much it sounds like someone playing pretend with toddlers

and its not in an indie game where the devs did their best to voice people themselves bc they didnt have the money, this is nintendo, how is it still like that, bc even the ones returning from botw, are STILL just as bad, i dont know if that can all be the fault of the actors, its so weird to me

and it makes it even harder for me to believe that people take this game as seriously as they do or as emotionally affecting bc a, if not THE, biggest part of the fandom is made up of english speakers who would probably never even think about trying a different language

...anyway, i needed to say that at some point)

[ponds-of-ink]

The Certified Pond Analysis of Scraptrap Voicelines

Because I haven’t talked about this rabbit’s voice lines as much as I should.

Buckle up. This is gonna get wordy.

-

So, going in the order of this video, we have:

“I always come back!”

The most quoted Afton line. And understandably so. This is the man at his most triumphant, even with his.. questionable suit-repair choices. The emphasis on “always” as well as the moderately louder volume really sells that confident air Springtrap continues to have in FNAF AR. Though, as we’ll soon see, this is not the only emotion he feels as Scraptrap.

(Also, before we continue: This gives me the first point on the “I can hear the smile in his voice” scoreboard. It’s a surprise tool that should help us later.)

”Bittersweet, but fitting”

…And by “later”, I apparently mean now.

There may be a smirk at the end, but it’s not a strong one. The overall line read is much more reserved here. Maybe even somber, if I’m inferring correctly. The choice of words is interesting here too. Whoever’s the owner of the Pizza Sim building, he may not be as fond of jumpscaring them as one would think…

”What a deceptive calling! I knew it was a lie the moment I heard it— Obviously, but it is intriguing nonetheless…”

Ah, yes. The big monologue post-Salvage. Couple of things I noticed here that aren’t debatable lore implications:

(1) Man’s rushing through that second half for some reason. Don’t know if that was an editing error, an intentional line read, or Scraptrap trying to.. reason with himself? Sound smarter than he thinks he is? I dunno, something about the pacing is off here.

(2) Oh, hey, first line with a “snake hiss”! This isn’t a consistent trait with his lines, but it’s a key feature that I use to differentiate Springtrap and Scraptrap during voice impressions.

(3) This man puts so much emphasis on words sometimes. So much so that I can not only hear the smile near the end, but I can also feel the eye roll during “deceptive”. And PJ Heywood never voice acted before FNAF apparently? H u h.

Anyway, moving on before I start implying that Scrap-Trap might’ve been lured in by a newspaper or something…

“Fascinating! What they have become…”

Another point to the “I can hear the smile” board. We’re on three points now; three and a half if you count “Bittersweet��.

This one I’ve already brought up before, but the abridged analysis is: This guy (unlike Glitch-Trap in that one Security Breach trailer) actually compliments his.. uh.. teammates? Workmates? ..Just realized that the relationship dynamic between the Salvage Gang doesn’t have an official term. Bummer.

That aside, it’s genuinely interesting that he doesn’t diss them at all. You think he would given his reputation, but no. He just has this twisted sense of “oh wow they’re so cool”.

…Come to think of it, has he directly dissed somebody in the games specifically? I’m not even sure if the “Deceptive Calling” monologue or the AR Springtrap lines count. AR Springtrap tends to boast about himself more than put the player down and Scraptrap was having an ‘I’m smarter than that lol” moment.

If I’m right, then I think I may have found a proper difference between a pretend Mimic Afton and the real one. Huh.

“How can I resist a promise such as this?”

Getting back to the main topic, we’ve got a return for the snake hiss and the emphasis on certain words. Also, add another point to “I can hear the smile”— Except it’s more of a smug grin than a bizarre, wide-eyed look of wonder.

Not sure what that promise is post-jumpscare, but I do know that this has a chance to play during the office sections. So the promise is either Henry’s lure or seeing his son Mike one last time. I dunno, dude, it’s all vague to me.

”That was easier than I thought it would be…”

AKA The line that makes me wonder “Dude, you good?”

No seriously. The quick halt in-between the second and third word. The sudden choke that happens at the end. Like his voice just properly broke for the first time in ages. The overall somberness of it all. There is literally no smile here and I’ve checked. There may even be tears starting to well up, but I obviously can’t be sure.

It’s even implied that he thought he’d had a tougher time fighting the owner! He actually assumed he wouldn’t win this easily!

Something about this feels.. unnerving. He’s not supposed to sound this upset. At least, not usually. So what, pray tell, is going on with this voice line?? Why was this the take Scott used??

“You may not recognize me at first, but I assure you: It’s still me”

Well, that’s one more point for the “I can hear the smile” board. Also, I believe this is confirmation of that ‘Springtrap switched suits after FNAF 3’ theory? That’s what it sounds like, at least?

But, hey, at least Scrap-Trap is canonically aware of the sudden shift in appearance. Let’s hope his potential FNAF World 2 version isn’t as nervous about it as I assume FNAF 6 him would be… If he had access to the internet, of course.

Also, for the one person who may or may not care about this: He’s using contractions here. I think it’s been established that he only uses these at certain times, but I can’t remember where exactly I read that analysis. Anyway, he’s unafraid about “slipping up” at this point.

One more thing…

Compared to AR Springtrap, Scraptrap is much more.. casual in tone, if that’s the best way to put it. Much more low energy, though his antics are anything but.

Like, yes, he’s still coming for you if you keep letting ads play on your computer. But maybe he’ll let you live for a few seconds longer just so you could turn the ad off? He’s not in a rush, as far as I can tell.

Maybe that’s another reason why my brain jumps to Scraptrap more than Springtrap. If he wasn’t tied to this “attacking the guard” business, he could probably chill for a second and give advice on paperwork. Wouldn’t last for long, of course, but at least one could potentially die knowing that you drank coffee with a much more business-savvy Spring Bonnie… Grungy though he looks. Springtrap, on the other hand, wouldn’t give you the time of day.

TL;DR:

PJ Heywood put more nuance into this guy than even I was expecting. Big round of applause, genuinely.

[scrubbinn]

Mimic HRT: 16 months “Body dysmorphia”

“The mimic octopus, Thaumoctopus mimicus, the thing that has, in some way, become a part of me. At least it’s the thing mixed into my slime medication. It’s been about a week since I turned into a cocoon. Which, even the doc still doesn’t know why exactly that part happened. And while I'm glad it's over, I’m worried there's something else in this treatment that no one knows about. Last time I checked, cocoons have nothing to do with slimes or octopi… octopus? Oh this is going to bug me all day.”

“It's funny I don't consider that cocoon to be the strangest part. It’s that I’m oddly calm about the whole thing. It’s not like the calm before I started taking normal hormone replacements, that was like a film over me that left me unable to express emotions. Now, I just feel calm. Complete. Myself. I suppose I can no longer consider myself a slime, though I am still similar. I've been told that thanks to me, Mimic HRT is now being perfected and stocked for others as a type of shapeshifter medication. I really didn't expect to become a patient zero for something like this. I can’t complain too much, this body really is everything I could have wanted. I should probably explain. It’d be a good idea to go over all the new parts of me.”

“Alright, from the top… actually I don’t know if that works, I’m not exactly humanoid, not always at least. Oh, I guess we can start with that actually. Shapeshifting has become nearly second nature. The brain isn’t human anymore, so it’s not really that surprising that it’s become so easy to take different shapes. Everytime I enter a new room, the first thing I think to do is copy the appearance of the wall or some furniture, it’s just this predator ambusher mentality that feels so correct to morph into something else. Mimicking people or objects in motion is incredibly tiring, but inanimate objects are so much easier. It’s probably because Mimics don’t spend much time moving so it exerts way more energy. Like, you know how most video games you see mimics as treasure chests right? Well I’m sure there’s an answer about game design, but no, seriously, it’s because you get to just be a simple square shaped object without worrying about how many fingers or teeth you’re supposed to have or worry about how to move convincingly. I already know I’m convincing, I am a box! Look, sometimes you just gotta turn into a ball and do nothing for half the day and it just feels nice. It’s those times where I’m too exhausted to do anything so I spend the entire time pretending to be a couch. There are also times where I can’t help but move. When I know I’m safe in my bed, for example, I let all my extra limbs move on their own to find crevices between the mattress and pillows, it’s like I’m trying to find a hole to slide into for safety. Sometimes I also shift color and texture on my own without realizing, which has led to some awkward moments where I’ve jumpscared Abi about… pretty much every time she picks me up for a date."

“I did say mimicking living things was difficult but that doesn’t mean I'm constantly just a pile of goo and eyes on the floor. I have a humanoid form that I can enter with ease. It's a bit more cloudy than the normal sky blue of my previous form though. My hair has changed a lot too. It's still the same material and texture, but it's become flattened to something more ribbon-like. It's much longer too, reaching out to my back. I can move it now though. I can stretch them, widen, flatten, turn them into tubes, they can curl and soap up, and with just a little water, I basically look like I did before, just, with a bunch more, teeth and eyes.… Ok so yes, I might be missing a face where the typical one is and I just shift colors and textures to pretend I still have one. And maybe a few of these limbs are just weirdly shaped mouths, with teeth that snap at anything that gets too close. And perhaps I have dozens of eyeballs all over my body- Ok, ok, this is a lot actually, let’s go over this one at a time. Teeth first I guess. I've been finding them in various shapes and lengths all across the body, and they move around too, I think in total I've found seven. There might be an eighth, it's hard to really count, especially when they move and bite automatically. At least they know well enough not to try and eat anyone I like. Hear that Dr. Erian? Better be careful! Ha! Anyway, eyes have been easier to deal with. There's dozens that swim around my hair and body, they usually stay closed until a vibration hits one and then they all suddenly open up. 360 degree vision isn't something that's easy to describe. It feels… spherical? That's the best explanation I have. At least they blend in with the body so I don't have to worry about people constantly being terrified of me. As long as I can hide the teeth under clothing, and keep most of my eyes closed, I look like a normal slime. Hm, normal. Kinda lost normal from my vocabulary somewhere along the way. Normal doesn’t involve a month long metamorphosis”

“About the cocoon… I… no, we don't need to talk about it. We can talk about something else…”

“Oh! The brain, it's… unique, it's doing fine though. No more headaches for the most part. Abigail and I have been studying this thing a lot. It's kinda hard to call it a brain. It siphons out nutrients melted down in the goo and sends it throughout this body with what I call its root system. They're kinda like nerves, but I'm naming them roots, because it just sounds better and also cause it looks like there’s a giant potato growing in my head. Besides, I don’t think they help move the body like nerves, the roots pull and push through the body, rearranging themselves to where I need some nutrition or where there’s an injury. I know other slimes have a core that they can move around and even remove for a bit. Never heard of one moving on its own, and I'm pretty sure if this was removed, I'd die on the spot. It's so weird to think this thing is a brain and a stomach. It's definitely a brain. If the core is hanging out near my leg, that's where I feel the headaches. Oh right, it moves more than just the roots around. I don't think I can control it? Control it… ha, yeah like a human can control their own brain, why should I be so different…”

“Uh… so, the thing is… I uh, I have something to say, about… how I don't have anything to say right now. But I will later, when it's important! Because it isn't important right now. Let's talk about something actually important, like, like… Actually yeah. I do need to talk about something. Because I don’t know how to bring it up to Abi, or you Erian when we last met.”

“I'm, not acting right. I mean, I am acting right, for a mimic. But I don't know, I thought I'd be acting like a cute slime that was curious and ditzy and cute and someone who… people still liked. Abi hasn't said it, but I know she doesn't like the new me. It's understandable, I'm a lot less cute and a lot more, eldritch. That’s not fair to her, we still love each other, it’s just this change is, a bit much. I already mentioned hiding with camouflage and biting things automatically. But there's the fact I'm still missing my memories, and I think at this point it's clear I'm never getting them back. Not to mention making human memories isn't possible anymore. Everytime I think back on things. I don't look at memories like how I used to. I used to look back on them with emotions and feelings. But now, I can only view memories as things that tell me if something is dangerous or food. When it's neither, when it's family or friends, I feel nothing. My brain is animalistic, it's a solitary predator for a social life. Is it even possible for me to adapt to that? Maybe… maybe I should stop taking the medication. Stop here when I still can. Is that wrong of me? Am I less of an otherkin for wanting to cling to the remainder of this humanity? I don't know. I don’t know anything!”

“…I do know something. I know how I cocooned myself- Shit! I didn't mean- it’s ok, I'll just start a new record- I… no I need to talk about what happened at some point. It’s hard but I need to get it out of my head somehow. I just need some time before I can talk about it.”

“I need to talk about something happy. It's probably not coming across well but I am happy. I am truly, genuinely happy. Being a mimic hasn't stopped my soapy journey. I'm still a soap slime at heart and my slipperiness has only gotten more hilariously troublesome. Now that every part of this body is made of materials crafted to slip around, it's been fun to learn new ways to not bang my head on every wall. I'm actually being serious, it's kind of fun to slide everywhere, I feel like a kid again. Not to mention that sometimes Abi will just stick random aromatics in my hair and the whole room starts to smell like orange peel and pine. I know slimes are a more fantastical species but sometimes I do wonder how a soap slime would evolve in the wild. What would I do? Is the scent thing to lure in prey? To socialize with others of their kind? Maybe if I did fully become a slime, I'd get a nature documentary made about me. Being a slime is cool but mimics aren't bad either, there are some upsides to it. With all this control of my body, I finally feel like myself, when I need a different body type for my human form I don't need to think about it, it just happens, if I feel like being purple that day it just happens, different hair, different voice, different anything. I finally don't have to be forced into one thing. It feels like… it just feels, I feel everything better, from how sweet Abi's voice is, to the wind blowing through Hyper city, to the vibrations of the soft sounds of the night life. I am happy. I am really truly honestly happy.”

“ok, I'm ready to talk about it. About the cocoon. I can do this. I. Can. Do. This. It was just a day before it happened, that's when the pain started. I don't mean the pain of my brain being rewritten, or the pain of my skin dissolving. Those were bad, but what I experienced. It was indescribable. This started in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep for the past two days from an aching body except for the brief moments of unconsciousness. Then all of a sudden, I felt a searing pain in my chest. I was delirious from exhaustion and the sudden jolt of fear wasn’t helping. I somehow got the idea that something foreign was growing inside my slime body, like a mold, and just like a mold, it spread. I could feel the misery move throughout my body into my limbs and neck. I think what I was feeling was the exposed nerves of my new teeth forming surrounded by solidified lye, but no, what I felt had no explanation. Nothing could ever fully rationalize what I felt that night. The torrent of agony eventually crawled into my head, I thought it was a nightmare. I did, things, in my panic, that I don't want to remember for this recording, and I don’t want anyone to learn about. Turns out mimics can get scars, that’s all I’m going to say. It felt like I was about to recede into nothingness, or disintegrate completely, either one would have been preferred over what actually happened. It just continued. It felt like different layers of pain where eventually I'd start to dissociate only for some new sudden jolt of pain to bring me back. Like every single one of my cells was popping one after the other. I couldn't even scream, I forgot I had no lungs and didn't remember how slimes even talked, I just laid there, unable to move, hoping somehow a doctor or witch would arrive to stop the pain. Eventually thinking became too hard. Every single micrometer of my insides and outsides were screaming, and I couldn't pass out. You could simply say it hurt and call it a day, and you would be wrong. Getting a scrap when you fall on the sidewalk hurts. This was hell. That's when it happened. I still don’t understand it. I mean it was probably the pain and exhaustion causing hallucinations and… I heard a voice. In my head I mean. It was so clear despite everything and I was struggling so hard to listen, but the voice was gentle. It taught me what to do to ease the pain. I followed its words. The next thing I remember was waking up next to Abi and my mother rushing in with a doctor. I think you were informed about the rest. Looking forward to the call I get from you about this one. End recording.”

* * *

“Good morning Ms.Mulberry, pleasant to see you in higher spirits than our last meeting.”

“Hello Theo. Let's make this meeting quick, Abi and I are going out in half an hour.”

“Blunt as ever. Fine then, I wish we could have had this talk sooner, but I believe we need to discuss the crossroads you've entered. I'm sure you've already heard about it and if you wish to skip right over I understa-”

“Tell me. Please.”

“Beg pardon? Well… ahem. There's a point in every transition that we refer to as a crossroads. What can best be described as a choice, we can put you on a much lighter dosage of your medication until your body is producing the correct chemicals to remain stable on its own. This would be the end of your transition. On the other hand, with your written consent, we would continue with your treatment's normal dosage until you fully become a mimic. This would most likely entail complete identity loss, and losing any part of you that could be called human. Depending on your sentience and level of aggression, you would be given over to the proper authorities to make sure the rest of your life is handled properly as per the agreement on the paperwork you signed.”

“...I.”

“You’ll have to make this choice soon, from your latest recording you may have already gone past your crossroad, but you still can turn back from here. I promise. If you wish, there are other things we can discuss. You mentioned a voice that appeared inside your head. Have you heard it since?”

“No, I haven’t. Sorry I’m not feeling great, could I go soon?”

“You’ve undergone a great deal of stress Ms.Mulberry. You look like you’ve barely slept in days, despite your claims to the contrary, you don’t appear to be very happy. You should probably seek a listening ear. I can get you in contact with a therapist who specializes in therian traumas.”

“Dr. Erian?”

“Yes Ms.Mulberry?”

“Am I a coward for wanting to turn back? Am I not actually otherkin? Am I just a leech for people who need this treatment more than me? I should want to continue right? Why do I suddenly care about the little of me that’s human? I don’t even remember when I was human! Why should I care? Why do I care? What am I?”

“You're brave Mayday. You're very brave.”

“I’d like to move to a lighter dosage.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mention list: @a-shramp, @calliecwrites, @be702, @respectfulevil, @hyacinthdoll1315

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@aster-is-confused, @bloodandbrandywyne, @glitchgloop

[adracat]

G Witch 22 thoughts

Banger episode this week! I loved every single minute. My only gripe was that it felt far too short. A pox on these weekly waits. Future binge watchers don't know how good they have it

Very much enjoyed the doubling down on QZ's destructive power and complete supremacy. No matter how many weapons/ships you have it doesn't matter because Aerial can just override them. It's a good establisher of stakes.

Mio burrito spotted. She is looking so rough here. Completely unsurprising she won't acknowledge Guel though. He had no sway on her even on her best days. Sorry, my guy. You lack Suletta's magic touch. Only she can play the Mio whisperer now

DEMI BARDING!! Big fan of that chonky suit after Asticassia ep so glad it's getting more use. I don't even care that I'm being manipulated into buying another kit. Secilia is a real one, glad she sat her butt down so the world didn't implode

This was a nice moment and gave Suletta closure on 4lan. He was someone she cared for, no matter how brief. That revelation about her list being Prospera's idea was a bit of a shocker tbh. I just thought she constructed it from the media she watched/read. The truth is way worse lmao. I guess it was meant to acclimate her to the school and therefore the dueling games for Aerial? Little did Prospera know that Suletta's dork charm would snare the heart of Delling's daughter immediately.

This was sudden but a joy to watch. I suppose Guel was tired of being Mio's ineffective secretary lol. But in all seriousness, this was sweet of him to arrange a duel so the lovebirds could be reunited. You've become a solid bro, Guel. Hope nothing dire happens to you.

Btw, I fully expect some fanfic authors to leap on a fencing au now. Pretty please?

This entire scene was so Utena I couldn't believe it. Well, actually the entire episode was littered with Utena but still. The baring of their mistakes. The acceptance of their faults. GOD this was so amazing.

I love how far Suletta has come in her development. Such an excellent change of mindset from viewing her time at Asticassia as a mistake to fully believing meeting Miorine was a blessing. She's so confident in her feelings

THEY'RE SOMEDAY TOGETHERINGGGG I see you Okouchi, giving us rabid Utena fans the good shit. This show is such a great homage in so many ways but this episode takes the cake! (Bit concerned that Suletta didn't verbally promise anything, just smiled fondly. Perhaps wistfully?)

This gave me such an unpleasant jumpscare though. The deliberate framing with Mio's bare legs followed by catastrophic bedhead freaked me out. I could have done without the Anthy reminder, thank you. Made such a sweet moment feel a bit horrific. I envy those who are oblivious to what I'm talking about

But this was so very sweet. I was getting misty-eyed. These babies have been through so much yet the truest thing is their love for each other. Their relationship remains the emotional core. Side note: Mio why are you the size of a housecat? Just how small was Notrette even

I'm glad I was correct in my read that Earth House doesn't truly blame Mio for Earth, only her staunch refusal to seek help. This was a nice little moment as was her brief words to Delling. Sleeping beauty certainly took his sweet time. I do wonder what he makes of this chaos?

Guel's reservation about Suletta heading to QZ is understandable but as she says, it's her choice. And Mio won't let anyone else decide Suletta's fate as she did before. Her quick death glare at Guel was so funny. Mans can only slap himself into complaince. Even when not engaged to Mio, he still obeys like a loyal sidekick lmao

Didn't expect this quick Shaddiq convo. I like how he recognizes instantly that Mio is better because of Suletta. It's very in character for him to accept Suletta's importance in Mio's life without resentment. I am wondering at the deal Mio makes with him. What could he possibly do for her? Perhaps it's Earth-related

At first I thought this was the sweetest thing. I still think it's sweet, but I also find the phrasing incredibly... weird. Not 'I'll always love you?' 'Always be with you'? Instead 'I will always be attached to you'. Could be nothing but it still sounds vaguely ominous. And it's coded in the genetic sequence of her tomatoes all things. The hell were you doing Notrette? Nice nod to mythology here though. Anesidora is an epithet for Demeter, an agricultural goddess, and Pandora. And like Pandora, Notrette unwittingly released evil in the form of QZ and possibly collaborated with Prospera to upload Ericht's biometric signature.

Aww farmer wives on Earth please! Still don't like Suletta only smiles when Mio declares anything future related. I get the rudest feeling she's not making hard promises because she's too aware of the peril. They look so happy here, so imma ignore the danger signs and just bask in their affection.

Mio forcing aside her own fear to support Suletta was so good. She was so relieved when Suletta broke Permet 5 alive, bursting into tears afterward. It was rough for me to hear Suletta gasping in pain, so I can't imagine how Mio must've felt. I don't ever want to see people claim she doesn't love Suletta ever again

I have thoughts on Calibarn's design (Utena spoilers) and place in the plot, but for this review I'll just say it looks neat. I wish it was a bit more unique, but it makes sense they need it to resemble its sibling plus its obvious Vanadis roots. That boom broomstick is super cool though!

I enjoyed Prospera's muted reaction here. She's surprised by Calibarn but not intimidated or angry. I'm sure she has complete faith in Eri's ability to handle this hurdle and her daughter's commitment to the plan. She must know Eri loves Suletta, but assumes it ultimately won't change a thing. For now, at least.

You know, I expected Lauda to lose it but I didn't expect him to be this stupid lol. You can't even use the damn GUND format idiot, you really think you'll beat your brother? I can't believe I gave him even the slightest bit of credit. Easily the worst character in the show. I hope Guel crushes him (and he doesn't get Guel killed in the process)

Petra deserves better 2023!

Ah and Eri peeks her GUND ghost form out to say hello before clashing with Suletta. This is an incredible shot, love the visuals as always. If it goes full Utena as I suspect, we'll see Eri break/override Calibarn. The name of a holy sword bashing at the Gwitch Rose Gate doesn't bode well. What that means for Suletta is anyone's guess, but I have faith she'll live. I fully expect her to get assistance of some kind. After all, the show has been telling us all along that working together is far better than struggling alone!

[fervency-if]

Author, I was not kidding when I say I will start spreading this masterpiece to othe people because it's that good! 😤

My first victim is my friend and here are some compilations of her reactions that I think you would enjoy (I got her permission to send don't worry!) These are in no particular order.

We both went to the Metropolitan route and romanced Audrey, because we have the same superior taste in men 🤝🏻 and got shocked by how much horniness they got in their system 😭 So most of these are just gonna be Audrey thirsts.

Was committed to being a good person but then Audrey shows up and morality goes down the drain. Tsk tsk tsk.

He got us hook, line, and sinker and we don't know how to get out 😭

Our morals are basically non-existent at this route.

Showing signs of early ✨ codependency✨

Context for this is the one choice before all hell breaks lose in The First Feast where we can have a choice in eating/drinking him. And she got the jumpscare of her life. I avoided it in my playthrough and rightfully so 😌

Read that there was an achievement by turning him on during the first painting scene and we found it. And we were not surprised. He's just a little freak.

Not gore, not death, not murder, but hurting him is the only trigger warning we need.

Lastly,

That scene was just that good 😭💯

Question:

This is basically just a yes or no question, but will we get Vampire/Anemiac Hunters in the later parts of the game? Because it doesn't take a genius to connect one point to another that there's basically something strange happening in certain parts of the cities and towns. And our fav murderers aren't exactly discreet about their victims. I'm guessing shit will hit the fan later on and I'm so worried for these blood thirsty fiends 😭

Second, did MC grow up in the same town? Because chances are Audrey and then already met. If so, what first impressions did they have of each other? 🤔

That's all for today author, thank you for coming to my tedtalk, sorry for cluttering your asks again. Don't worry we will recruit more and more readers for you!

Oh dear, this was so much fun to read! I actually laughed/chuckled out loud several times reading this... Thank you for sharing, and a big thank you to your friend as well, who let you share this! I was thoroughly entertained, no doubt about it...

Aubrey definitely agrees - you do have a great taste in men, both of you. He approves with all his wicked little heart.

"And then things escalated quickly." Yes, that's often how it goes...

Naturally. Good person, schmood schmerson, along with morals schmorals, who needs that?

Aww, cannot leave him for long. That's the result he would wish for, so he is definitely satisfied with the outcome.

"Author is absolutely unhinged for this I salute" was one of those things that made me laugh out loud. Oh. Oh. Perhaps I am... But aah, indeed - I can imagine it being a bit of a jumpscare, haha! Poor soul - it's good that one can save and reload, at least!

"He's just a little freak" made me chuckle as well. He might be...

I have actually heard that before - the blood and gore? No problem. Hurting Aubrey? Oh, for shame!

Let's call it that. But seriously, haha, I'm glad that it was appreciated! "These two are horrible on their own," yes, that's legitimate. Ah, truly, you're both so funny, you and your friend.

Now, as for your questions:

There might be in some paths, yes... (In one upcoming path, the main character themselves will be able to be one, even.)

And when it comes to the main character; it's up to the reader if the main character was born in the village, or if they came there a bit later on - but they've lived there for a while, at least, and gotten a feel for it, so to speak. I imagine that Aubrey has been curious about the main character, and wished to get to know more about them/get to know them better - there is a certain interest from the start from his side. As for why they haven't gotten close yet as the game starts, that's up to you to decide. Perhaps they simply didn't get the chance, perhaps there were things in the way for one reason or the other, and so on - but at least Aubrey did feel intrigued by the main character in some way.

And thank you. Oh, and never apologise for cluttering my asks - I adore getting asks, so feel free to do just that any time you wish! 🫶

[livythewriter]

Hidden Tears (Elsbeth x GN!Reader)

Word Count: 1581

Warnings: Warnings: Angst, mild profanity, hurt/comfort, fluff, mentions of bullying and emotional abuse

Summary: Reader has had a really bad day, but is afraid to cry around others due to things that have happened in their past. Elsbeth just wants to help them out.

If I could skip a day at any time, and go to the next one, today would definitely be that day. It wasn’t even just one big thing that happened to make today such a fiasco, it was a bunch of tiny things, such as spilling my coffee, getting yelled at by a customer, tripping on my shoelaces and falling, and a lot more. 

By the time I got home, I wanted to cry, but I held back my tears. Elsbeth was home, and for as long as I remember, I’ve never felt comfortable crying around people. Maybe it was the fact that I would be belittled every time, or everyone would get annoyed, but I avoided crying around anyone because of the sheer dread that it now put in the pit of my stomach.

I decided I would try and make something to eat, because maybe it would help me feel better. I made my comfort meal, and sat down on the couch, turning on the TV. On the TV was my favorite show, and as I watched it, I started to feel better – though not completely fine, more eggshell okay than anything. I knew that if anything even small happened, I would break down. So I still made the effort to avoid talking to Elsbeth too much.

I realized in the middle of watching the show that I needed to get a few things from the store. I sighed, and got up, getting my shoes back on, grabbing my shopping list for today, and heading out the door. The drive wasn’t super long, and I got to the store in less than five minutes.

I looked at the shopping list. There were about seven things I needed to get.

I went down the aisle to the first item, and put it into my shopping cart. Six items to go now. I rushed up and down the aisles, grabbing more of the items I needed. I may have splurged a little and gotten a few - a lot of comfort food items. Yeah, tonight was gonna be a long night in. I hoped that I would be able to calm down completely soon so I didn’t break down in front of Elsbeth.

I was walking down to the cash registers when my cart rammed into another cart, seriously making me jump out of my skin. It scared the other person too, making them curse.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” I said, trying to keep my composure. My heart was still racing from the jumpscare, and I felt quite shaken.

The person just glared over at me, grumbling, “Pay attention, asshole.” and then moving past me. I felt like a total jerk, but tried to keep myself together as I checked out items.

I finally got home, and flopped onto the couch, putting the show back on. I heard footsteps coming downstairs and quickly tried to hide my exhaustion.

Elsbeth came up behind me and began to gently rub my shoulders, “Hey there, I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.” She said in her usual chipper voice.

“Oh yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Just wanted to watch TV in the living room.” I said, trying to keep my voice even.

“Ooh, do you think I could join you?” She asked.

“Uhh, sure.” Elsbeth sat down next to me on the couch and began watching the show with me. She saw all the snacks around me.

“Hey, you sharing those snacks?” She nudged me, smiling.

“Yeah, go ahead.” I decided to snack on some of the chips I got as well, and Elsbeth grabbed some popcorn, popping it into her mouth.

“Man, popcorn is great. So, what’ve you been up to today?”

“Uhhh, not much. Just went to work, went to the store and got these snacks.” I said, deciding to omit most of the truth.

“Same here, minus the snacks. I had a great day at work, though. Did you?”

“Uhhh yeah. A customer yelled at me, but it was otherwise pretty good.”

Elsbeth looked over at me, an expression of concern on her face, “Oh no, I am so sorry about that. Are you okay? They sound like a jerk…”

“I’m alright. Just a little tired, it was a bit of a long day.” I said.

“Well, if you wanna talk about it, I’m here.”

I just nodded, worried that if I spoke, my voice would crack.

Elsbeth leaned her head against my shoulder, a dopey smile on her face. “I am so glad to have you here.”

“Me too.” I smiled, feeling a little emotional hearing that.

“Though I am a little worried about you… You don’t seem very happy right now.”

“I’m alright.” My voice sounded hollow, but also full of emotion.

“I feel like that’s not true…”

“Nono, I’m okay!” I may have sounded a little too chipper to believe.

“Okay… but know I’m here if you need to open up.” She kissed my shoulder gently.

I nodded, suddenly feeling all the emotions of today flooding in. But I tried to keep my composure, I tried to keep myself together, I didn’t want to fall apart in front of her.

I heard Elsbeth sigh next to me, “You’re all stiff, something’s troubling you…”

“I’m fine.” I said, but my voice cracked.

Elsbeth peered up at me, her concerned expression giving her almost puppy eyes, “Please, I’m worried about you.”

“I just… had a really hard day is all.” My eyes began to fill with tears, and if I wasn’t already stiff and anxious, I definitely was now. I looked away as I felt a tear fall down my face, my heartbeat quickening with panic. I couldn’t fall apart, not in front of Elsbeth. I couldn’t ruin this, I couldn't ruin another relationship with my crying.

“Hey…” I felt Elsbeth’s arm snake around my shoulder, squeezing it gently, “You don’t have to hide your tears around me, you know? It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.” My voice cracked, and I sniffled.

“It’s okay, you’re safe here.” Her voice took on a soft, soothing tone as she rubbed up and down my arm.

“I just had a really bad day, so much bad stuff happened, and now I’m crying in front of you, and I feel ridiculous, and I feel like I’ve ruined everything.” I rambled.

“You haven’t ruined anything, I’m still here. I’ll always be here. Look at me...”

I finally turned to face her, tears rapidly falling down my face and snot dripping out of my nose. I really did look ridiculous.

“Tell me what happened.” Her hand reached up to brush hair out of my face, and then wiped my tears. I explained everything that happened that day, and apologized for making such a big deal about nothing. “Hey, your feelings are completely valid. You’re not being ridiculous, it sounds like you’ve had a really hard day. It’s perfectly okay to be sad after today. And that jerk who cursed at you for ramming your cart into theirs, they’re just a sad person who wanted to make someone else feel small. It was an accident, and you didn’t do anything wrong.”

I nodded, trying to fix up the broken dam of my emotions, “Thank you.”

“Now, I hope I’m not prying here, but do you think you could tell me why you were so scared to cry around me? Do I seem like I would judge you or something? Because I would never do that, and I am so sorry if I’ve made it seem that way.”

“I just get worried that I’ll make a fool of myself, and once I cry once around someone, I’m more likely to cry again and again, and I didn’t want to ruin our relationship with all my crying.” I explained truthfully.

“Oh dear, I wouldn’t leave you even if you did cry a lot. I love you, ___” Elsbeth’s hand reached up to stroke my hair.

“Thank you.” I closed my eyes, trying to let the comfort of her presence guide me out of this hole I was in. “People haven’t always been nice to me when I cried around them, not taking me seriously or acting like I was trying to manipulate them.”

“Well I promise I will never do that.” Elsbeth planted a gentle kiss on my temple.

“What did I do to deserve you, you’re so loyal and understanding.”

“Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you.” She smiled warmly at me. I wiped my face clean using the tissues next to me and kissed her, cupping her face. Elsbeth’s lips felt so soft against mine, it was like an oasis in the desert. I pulled back and smiled, still feeling slightly bad, but feeling a lot better with her present.

“You have such a lovely smile…” I said, looking at the radiant smile gracing her features.

“Your smile’s even more lovely, though.” She kissed me on the cheek.

“Not true…” I said, giggling.

“So true.” She poked my cheek playfully.

I rolled my eyes, laughing more but deciding to give up and accept the compliment.

As we talked more and watched my show, I started to feel a lot better, and I thanked my lucky stars that I had someone like Elsbeth in my life. With her, I realized I finally had someone to be vulnerable around, someone who wouldn’t judge or belittle me, and it made things a whole lot easier for me from there on out.

[robynbaldurlogs]

baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

[obey-me-disaster]

The demon brothers playing windtrace

This is in honour of that one player that recognized my signature as an Obey Me reference when I was hunter. If you happen to come across this, I was that one Diluc at the Dawn Winery

Reposting this BECAUSE I JUST GOT OUT OF BEING SHADOWBANNED.

Lucifer

Hands down best hunter out of all of them. Everyone is doomed when he is hunter.

The match doesn’t last longer than 40 seconds.

The others swear he can smell their fear, it’s not even funny.

He usually plays as Zhongli. They share the same vibes so I can see him going for the old man.

I also see him using the Raiden Shogun just for the fact that she is terrifying for the others.

One the other hand, he sucks at hiding. Not the worst out of his brothers but he is still not good.

His hiding places are decent, but when running away he gets stuck on the walls a lot.

Weirdly enough he doesn’t get stuck as a hunter.

Has a tendency jumpscare his brothers by appearing out of nowhere

Mammon

Not the best at hiding as a rebel but he rarelu gets caught cause he is good at running from the hunter.

Always and I mean ALWAYS goes for the favor. Does he get it? Not always, but he always tries.

He has a hard time finding the others unless he uses the favor. He is fucking blind.

Never looks up, passes right by the others cause he didn’t bother to check some weirdly placed objects.

But once he does it’s over for the others. He gives Lucifer a run for his money with how much he scares the others when he runs after them.

He uses Childe and Itto the most. He finds them fun and they look cool. That’s his whole resoning.

I might be controversial on this one, but I see him using Diluc and Ningguang just cause they are known as the richest people in Teyvat.

He gets too cocky towards the end of the match if the think he is winning and will start bragging about how he is the best…that often leads to him losing.

Leviathan

TRY HARD. He takes it way to seriously as both a hunter and a rebel. He fucking screams when he loses.

He has past experience because windtrace is bassicaly prop hunt, and genshin isn’t the only game with that sort of thing.

He has strategies for every map for every situations. Where to run, where to hide, where to take cover. Where to check for hidden rebels.

He choses his character depending on the map and what others chose since he wants to be ‘lore accurate’, in his words.

He tries to only play as tall characters when he is hunter because they are better when chasing the rebels, but sometimes being more 'lore accurate’ matters more.

Gives a whole speech on how he will for his fallen team mates every time he is the sole survivor.

He is annoying to catch as a rebel because he always goes for the high places only to jump and use invisibility so the hunter loses sight of him…and then goes and climb a high place again.

He gets so annoying if he wins. He treats it like it was only natural for him to win.

Satan

Takes it pretty seriously. Nowhere near Levi’s level tho.

He tries to hide how seriously he takes it bacause it’s just a game, but everyone can feel how annoyed he gets as the game goes on.

Tries to match the characters with the backround of the map. The map is green? Tighnari, Xiao, Collei are used.

He think it will help him blend better with the map so the hunter will have a harder time seeing him.

If there is a map where he can’t use that strategy, he tries to use a taller character. His go to was Zhongliat first…until he saw that Zhongli was Lucifer’s go to.

He tried using Lisa because she is a librarian…until he started to climb walls and heard her. He ends up settling on Xiao

Levi refuses to tell him that a lot of people see Xiao as Zhongli’s son.

He is pretty avarage as a hunter. He is pretty observant, and he actually looks up to see if people are hinding in trees and stuff. His problem is that he sometimes gets so caught up in difficult hinding spots that he ignores the more obvious ones and he feels so fuckig stupid when he realises his mistake.

He has well thought out hiding spots, but they are pretty hard to come out of, so if the hunter sees him he has a hard time getting away from them.

Asmodeus

He picks whatever character he thinks is the best looking. He usually picks Kaeya, Lisa, Miko and Ayato.

He keeps running into walls as both hunter and rebel.

He somehow always has the luck to hide near where the favor spawns. It drives the others insane becase he just moves a bit and the favor is his.

He gets distracted by his devilgram account a lot when he is rebel and stays hidden in his spot for too long. Because of that he often gets jumpscared by his brothers when they go to catch him.

Tries to talk his way out of getting captured but it never works.

When he first started to play he refused to transform into objects cause in his words 'His characters are too pretty for that’

To his credit, he learned how to survive without a disguise pretty well, so he doesn’t rely on it too much.

He loses track of his brothers pretty fast when he is hunter which frustrates him to no end. His luck with being where the favor spawns is his saving grace when he is hunter.

Beelzebub

Scarily observant as a hunter. He sees the smallest movement his brothers make and goes after them in the same second.

Plays as either Xianling, Razor or Itto. He likes Xiangling because she is a cook, Razor because he cares about his family and Itto…well because he is Itto.

As a rebel he has a tendency to hide in the most obvious places possible and in a way it works a lot of the time. Due to how obvious that spot is, his brothers tend to go right past him.

He tries to distract the hunter if they are chasing after Belphie.

When he is rebel and sits in his hiding spot for too long he gets hungry and starts eating. Because of that he doesn’t have enough time to run.

He has the worst luck when it comes to getting the favor. It always spawns in the oposite side of the map from where he is.

Despite not getting the favor he still wins a fair amount of times. He always catches the person that took the favor first too.

Because of that his brothers became hesitant to go take the favor.

Belphie is spared 100% of the time. He never goes after him as hunter.

Belphegor

Little shit. Is the most annoying rebel to catch ever. He goes to the places that are the hardest to reach only to dissapear before the hunter gets there.

He is smart and lazy so he often finds the places that require the least amount of effort to get in and run away from.

He is pretty good at getting into hard to reach spots, so an easy hiding place for him to get in, is hell for a hunter to reach.

Fell a few times asleep while playing because the hunter never found him.

He sometimes lets himself be caught by Lucifer only to place beacons right in front of him so his vision gets limited.

Never goes after Beel when he is hunter.

Pretty lazy as a hunter ngl. He tries to chase after rebels as little as possible unless it’s Lucifer. He relies on shortcuts and on confusing the rebels in order to catch them.

Really good at guessing if an object from the map is an actual object or a player in disguise, it’s like a sixth sense to him.

[toulouse21]

Things I do since I turned a teenager, that I thought were normal, until I realized I'm probably asexual

(who still feels ROMANTIC attraction)

- I always liked shipping fictional characthers and participating in fandoms, but every time somebody talked about their headcanons to how the characthers behaved on bed I felt really disappointed for some reason

- Whenever I search for a fanfiction to read, I giggle and freak out when the characthers have love dovey moments, but when the cute scenes become hot scenes my reaction is always "OMG I LOVE THEM SOME AAAAAA, wait... Oh. Ugh, it was too good to be true", and when it has too much hot scenes, sometimes I drop the fic and don't regret it

- actually I separate in my head "good fanfics and bad fanfics", and my favourite ones are the ones wich don't mention/don't give details on hot scenes

- whenever Im watching a romance movie/show, I have the time of my life when the couple I like hold hands, hug, kiss, say how much they are in love and all, but when they start to take off clothes, my smile disappears. Every time.

- (ok this one maybe it's because Im stupid), I thought the terms "top" and "bottom" were more about PERSONALITY... Let me explain. In my head, the "top" of the relationship was the more flirty one, the one who first confesses their feelings, who initiates the kisses most of the times, the one who is more confident about their feelings faster, basically. And the "bottom" would be the one who blushes more, the most oblivious, and all that. Seriously, when I found out you guys were talking ONLY about sexual poses, I was SO SO DISAPPOINTED

- I love doing sex jokes with my friends, and when they found out I might be asexual they were like "???? But you talk about it all the time!", but that's the point, I make JOKES about it, because I don't take it seriously

- It still surprises me that people actually WANT and do sex, because for me it's just a big funny joke, and an inconvenient thing you have to do if you want to have a baby

- I HATE when Im just watching a movie (that is not even of romance most of times), and then Im jumpscared with a sex scene, like, why???? Why do you have to do this with me???

- Whenever these jumpscares happen, I always have to fight the urge of throwing up when it's too explicit

- I thought the thing of "oh teenagers watch porn in secret all the time, it's natural" was a meme, because watching porn for me it's equal to torture

- My friend told me one time "maybe you just feel like you would throw up because you're watching straight sex", but I found out lesbians lick each others vagina sometimes and Im traumatized since then.

- Seriously, we PEE in that area, why would I want someone to lick it??? Why??? I know it's different holes and all, BUT MY PISS STILL PASSES THERE WHEN I PASS TOILET PAPER, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT??

- I also thought masturbation was a big meme.

- One time somebody said to me "you really look like a puritan, but I know what you dream with at night". Wich is ironic, because the only experiences I had with """"""""""erotical dreams"""""" were non consent situations, so they were my worst nightmares

- In general, I just think it's such a disgusting thing lol, a lot of people thought Im weird for not wanting to do it, but I think you guys are weird for wanting it. But at the end, none of us is weird, we're just different, and that's okay

[solar-halos]

ballad appreciation post

i’m so happy :D. i’ve watched ballad twice this week. the second time i watched it w my brothers i didn’t have anything to say about it bc i was mostly just on edge about not getting kicked out of the theatre but since i teased a breakup over this Boyfriend was on his best behavior so i actually got to watch the movie without anyone asking a million question a scene. in related news we have another lucy gray truther on our side. here are some of my thoughts

1. tom blyth opening screen …. i still got jumpscared seeing him in the nude

2. the way they pronounce lucy grays name still catches me off guard. i’ve been ignoring the “i” completely and just say “bard” in my head (yk bc she’s The Bard). with that being said i know the mayor was in like 2 scenes but i think he did a really good job picking out lucy grays name he looked crazy

3. hunter schafer is my eyebrow inspo. also i’ve mentioned this before w the bathing suits having a 1920s and 50s vibe but she’s giving 1940s to me. but obviously glamor 1940s not war ridden 1940s

4. watching this w someone who hasn’t read the book is so enjoyable. when lucy gray dropped the snake down mayfairs shirt Boyfriend got SO tense “waitwait did she just try to fuckin murder her??” god forbid women do anything

5. okay sorry but the first time i watched it i was trying not to smile (in a laugh-y way) when lucy grays singing part came on. when i read it i thought that part ate but actually seeing it was so different for some reason. i think this feeling might be amplified if you’ve never read the book bc my sister felt the exact same way she said it was kinda fuckin cringe. idk if it was just bc we were at home or she was just feeling silly but she started singing that one camp rock song that’s like “we can’t back down.” which ok yeah that was kinda lucy grays song in a nutshell but it kinda did piss me off bc the “you can kiss my ass!!!!” part was coming on soon and i was stressing over them missing it. also didnt lucy gray have a full on dance break in the book?? god. they should have kept that in

6. okay that scene where she bowed and d12’s nasty ass coal industry being in the background is still one of my fav scenes. ugh loved it

7. wovey idk what it was this time but when she was like “im rlly good at climbing” i almost burst into tears. guys she’s really good at climbing

8. hunter schafer literally killed this. i’d argue that tigris is just as much of a product of her environment as snow is but i don’t rlly know how to articulate that

9. speaking of the reading vs watching thing i mentioned earlier: it rlly jumped out with grandmaam. idk why but when i was reading it grandmaam was SO scary and intimidating to me but watching her so frail and skinny and slightly senile talk about how lucy gray is a killer just seemed so crazy. especially since we know snow believes her

10. “they’re gonna get bombed aren’t they” wtf i walk into every movie clueless how are ppl straight up predicting entire events. but again w the reading vs watching i was GAGGED when they got bombed in the book but in the movie it seemed weird?? like “get the camera on her” and then it just feels like they’re trying to take up space until the actual bombs land. but whatever im being so bitchy i wasn’t surprised bc i literally knew it was gonna happen

11. “i want coral making my latte” and i want tanner on the grill

12. i think it was tanner, but i rlly liked his outfit. i liked all their outfits actually. i’ve been watching so many reels abt the costume designer explaining her inspo for the costumes (like tigris and her 1940s glamor thing going on)

13. okay seriously why did they cut out the kiss… and then when they actually did kiss why did they have lucy gray pull away at first…… i know francis lawrence saying this was a love story was icky but he did a bad job at portraying that so maybe we were worried for nothing (jk we were worried for all the right reasons bc if i had a nickel for every time someone said “i thought they were gonna get married!” about lucy gray and snow i’d have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice). also not to be a hater but snowbaird fans actually fucking irritate me. like the fans that are like “but what if it was wholesome 🥺🥺” what if lucy gray tried to kill him and he tried to kill her back? what if he managed to track her down and she bit him again? what if they hate each other so much that they’re only together bc they wanna see the other person suffer? what then

14. tbh seeing billy taupe made me feel a bit guilty 😭😭. almost terminated my ao3 acc but i get that feeling every time someone mentions something im obsessed w in a very casual way so it wasn’t rlly that serious. also someone either on tiktok or insta was like “was i the only person who preferred snows curls to his buzz cut?” and i genuinely couldn’t tell if they were joking bc like. everyone prefers snows curls to his buzz cut. even snow prefers his curls to his buzzcut. with that being said billy taupe needed to lose the cap

15. ngl the ballad of lucy gray baird actually did make me cry a bit… lucy gray was only 16 she needed to be on tumblr

16. where’d she get that guitar from tho

17. i wish they would have kept in the tributes death parade. that part was icky

18. okay there was a scene where lucky had a drink and then he flicked something off it and pup (i think that was his name) flinched cos it landed on his neck that was so fucking funny i hate that this was the first time i noticed it

19. okay seriously why did they make dill get poisoned. also that cornocopia scene. hmph

20. the first time i watched it i remembered being really confused why lucky called mizzen Merciless Mizzen. but omg after he tried chasing lucy gray down in that vent i understood that was crazy of him. and it did seem like he was an actual teenager which actually made it more unsettling. i feel like rachel zegler has a baby face (i actually think she was 17 in west side story and she looks the exact same now) but mizzen’s actor sing singing her name was perfect

21. lamina at the beam… didn’t she manage to kill someone in the book??

22. “does this mean we get to go home??” god i wish

23. but also “please lucy i can’t have killed all of them for nothing” i liked that she didn’t call her lucy gray that was a nice touch. but also. what a crazy thing to ask. i wonder if she thought lucy gray would be chill w that

24. take this with a grain of salt i haven’t read the books in so long but when snow snuck up on lucy gray in the meadow didn’t she level her guitar at him and then be like “sorry lol i still have one foot in the arena :P” they should have had her hit him in the face w it

25. the old therebefore still hits. i wish they would have included scenes where snow is shown to genuinely dislike her songs like in the books. in the movies he seems more disinterested in what she’s doing which is still bad but also it doesn’t seem as overt as him literally hating on her for no fuckin reason. which i guess is bc we have no insight into his head, like i think someone pointed out that in the book and movie he cried over sejanus being dead but in the book we know it’s bc he was scared it was gonna be him next but in the movie it just looked like he was sad. which i get it he’s perceived as nice by other people but the audience is not supposed to be other ppl we know what his motives are. im not sure how that’d be solved, cos i guess it would be pretty annoying to have him voice his thoughts and you also don’t wanna spoon feed ur audience but like. idk. seems like something you’d wanna make super clear bc to me it didn’t seem like you were supposed to like / sympathize with him, but the way it was done kinda seemed half baked

26. speaking of that… Boyfriend did not get the memo that snow was fucking crazy. “i thought he was gonna marry lucy gray in d12” WHY? like why would you even think that. were u not paying attention during the hunger games trilogy marathon where would lucy gray fit into that. since my sister thought the exact same thing she tried being like “see? it’s confusing” but it actually isn’t. that’s still a better reaction than my brother he was actually being a fucking weirdo about it cos when snow found lucy grays scarf in the woods and then the snake bit him this mfer went “she tried to kill him” no!!! but i think there might be something to be said about how snow, completely sober, came to the same conclusion as my brother, who was so high he couldn’t even remember who sejanus was

27. okay that’s a lot of sibling lore so atp i think i better end the post. bye

[rebecca--barnes]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!!

First of all… OH MY GOD!!!!

Okay, so… I just saw FNAF and wow it was brilliant! To me it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be, I expected a lot more jumpscares but it was actually really funny and creepy at times.

I won’t spoil anything! But there’s one thing that happened in the movie (not FNAF related) and it made me so excited! I don’t think anyone else in my cinema caught it but I’m a HUGE fan of this thing and AHHHH the fact he did it made me so happy and giddy. (And if you’ve seen the movie no… it’s not THAT thing)

The casting for this movie ugh *french kiss*

Josh Hutcherson? Marry me immediately now please!

Mathew Lillard? Sir I’m on MY KNEES!

Elizabeth Lail? I think I fell in love…

But seriously you NEED to see this movie! Even if you aren’t a FNAF fan it’s still so freaking good and so enjoyable!

Also everyone in my cinemas reactions were the best thing ever! The clapping, cheering, laughter just made it so much more enjoyable and unforgettable. Absolute legends!

[hamausagi]

omfggg jake your critique on the omori manga was SO GOOD i agree with everything. i read it on twt bc the platform it was officially released on isn't available in my country and i was like 😦❓️warning long ass yap ahead, you don't have to reply to this AKDKSKD i just wanted to say ur post hit all the points i was thinking of as well

i was sososo excited for the manga when it was announced, and now that i read it im kinda like. Hm. the art style is gorgeous, but 100% agreed on the way they depicted the characters in the real world because they look so young 😭 like wtf aubrey is supposed to look intimidating when the player first meets her [as a stark contrast to her headspace personality] but then she lirerally looks 12 (like you said) 💀 also this might just be a me thing but i always imagined that sunny would be very expressionless in the real world until the end of the game, like how he has the neutral sprite the entire time until he finally looks scared in the basil fight & cries in the hidden ending cutscene. but the sunny in the manga feels so grounded and human (which might sound like an insane thing to say but hear me out), which i feel kinda undermines the fact that he's disassociating like 99% of the time and also has not been outside + talked to ppl in literal years. it deadass looks like him and kel going out is a regular occurrence for him 🕴

AND THE PACING AUGHHSKWKKDA IT MAKES ME SO MAD 😭😭😭 the entire first chapter is so disorganised and clunky it makes zero sense unless you have alrdy played the entire game. i kept rereading bc it felt like everything was happening so fast and i was wondering if i missed panels 💀 it felt like they couldn't decide what approach the manga should take, like whether it should be a horror story or one abt friendship when the beauty of omori is that it blends both of those (in extremely nuanced ways) so seamlessly. there's like random ass jumpscare panels that don't even make sense and why the fuck is the headspace sequence at the end 😭😭😭???!(£&+(£&@(*£ that's supposed to be the prologue!!!!!!! before we meet everyone irl!!!

as for characterisation i genuinely dk wtf was going on 😭 aubrey whacking basil with the bat was so crazy i was like HUH??? and then sunny just fucking slashed her 😭⁉️ it makes them seem absolutely deranged bc there's zero context, and the whole point of sunny attacking aubrey is to show the player that it still hasn't clicked for him that he's in the real world now and he can't just use a fucking knife on people 💀 also the fact that in game it's depicted as a battle cutscene, once again showing how detached he is from reality. connecting back to my earlier point abt how he seems so grounded here, in the manga it looks like he just purposefully decided to stab aubrey when that isn't something he'd do at all?!?!?!

but okay ill shut up here, omfg im so sorry i yapped so much 💀 a Lot of thoughts abt this manga fr,,, honestly disappointed and definitely would not recommend it to fans or non-fans 😭

YES. OMG. QUILL YOU GET IT !!!!! IM SO SO GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND I 10000% AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAID

AND DONT APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING I MISS YAPPING ABT OMORI WITH YOU SO BADDDDDD 😭😭😭

i also really like the artstyle, i think its very well drawn ESPECIALLY the horror elements but yeah, the style just doesn't super scream OMORI to me..... if yk what i mean 😭 AND I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOURE SAYING ABT SUNNY'S EXPRESSION. he has WAY too much emotion and i wish i thought to touch on that in my essay (lol) but seriously yeah. i'm SO glad they left him as a silent protag, but my god. to me in the game he's always been really emotionless since we literally NEVER see anything besides his sprite (unless in battle, but im not counting that rn bc its a lot different than the dialogue facecards we get for other characters) but that super duper bothered me as well IT REALLY DOES FEEL LIKE HE JUST GOES OUT WITH KEL ALL THE TIME LIKE DAWG THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THE SUN HAS TOUCHED U IN 4 YEARS. BSFR

the pacing is RIDICULOUSLY clunky and weird AND YEAH ME TOO I ALSO KEPT TRYING TO GO BACK AND SEE IF I MISSED STUFF ??? like there was just so much happening on each page and it was so goddamn fast that i was literally like "whoa" YKWIM ?? like specifically that one panel i put in my post where he randomly went up to the bathroom just to open the door, see Something, and then suddenly leave but also there is barely ANY context as to why he's suddenly up at the bathroom ?? like obvi WE know bc we played that but in game the screen got all wobbly when we needed to throw up the steak but in the manga its like wtf is going on ???

ANF UAGGHGGHSB I COULD GO ON AND ON AND ON ABT THE CHARACTERIZATION BRO. the whole last few pages were absolute DOGWATER bc it literally makes them look just weirdly violent with NO context bc its exactly like you said, SUNNY DOESNT KNOW. the whole point of that first battle was to show how detached sunny is from real life. he doesn't realize that slashing her with a knife is going to have real consequences. AND THE BEST PART ABT THE GAME IS THAT NEITHER DOES THE PLAYER !!!! we forget after hours and hours of headspace (AND using sunny's knife attack as a primary damage dealer, MIGHT I ADD) HAS REAL DANGERS AND CONSEQUENCES. like theres SOOO much cool storytelling there and it's all lost on the manga bc theres just no baseline for the reader to be like whoaaaa thats WEIRD. bc my first impression upon seeing aubrey, as was most likely yours and all the other players, was WHAT THE HELL. but the ruined her in the manga. i can literally go on and on about this forever and ever

[shining-gem34]

||Overall Opinion of HSR 1.6 Quests so far:

SPOILERS

In general, I try to keep my expectactions low and I am easy to impress so I will always say: I like it!!!

The introduction of the new area reminded me of the Alien game. It's dark, mysterious, abandoned, and you feel so very alone exploring the area. Gosh the jumpscares are good.

Ruan Mei is rather complex. We know her ambitions, the goal of her research, but as an individual? She is mysterious and elegant, but it seems she has trust issues. Or rather a skewed perspective of asking for help. Like legit drugging us out of overthinking things? Not fun in the full picture despite the comedic responses.

I do like Ruan Mei since she first appeared. I just wish the front design wasn't the same as every other Xianzhou lady we have seen so far. But that is like a minor gripe for me.

My Trailblazer is rather laidback and he might take Ruan Mei antics in stride. He is gonna remember that event so she lost brownie points with him. 3:

Dan Heng though? Oh man. I will go over it in more details in a separate post but Dan Heng has alot of negative feelings about her.

I love the kitties. The kitties sounds melted my heart. They are so cute and then they talk about Ruan Mei abandoning them, and my heart breaks alittle. It's just interesting that she might have some fondness for them. But that is hard to say. I perceive Ruan Mei perspective on this as Trailblazer had gone a different method that yielded different results. So she is intrigued by it, but the love for her creation? It's conflicting.

Dr. Ratio I honestly have not much to say since I'm still trying to figure out what I feel for him. I can't take him seriously with the plaster mask in his introduction. However! I do understand he cares more than he shows and knows the severity of the situation. I appreciate he can be blunt and straight to the point instead of beating around the bush.

Giant bug monster? I'm very much like: Ruan Mei what the fuck did you do? Why would you do this? And then I remember Ruan Mei ambitions and I figured she went "Why not?"

The fiasco with the Herta Space Station? I think I understand Dr. Ratio at the end but at the same time I'm just like ???. It was just alot of things happening there if you think about it: Anti-Matter Legion attacking, unhappy staff trying to pin the mistakes all on management (Asta), and now this. I'm just very >:((( at the people shitting on Asta who is already doing so much to help restore the Space Station after the attack. Like motherfuckers, COME AT ME AND SEE HOW YOU CAN FIX SHIT AND RAISE MORALE LIKE SHE CAN.

[drdemonprince]

hi devon! i recently binged all your medium articles, your writing hits so close to home and has opened so many doors of self-reflection for me, thank you. one of your latest ones was about porn and autism, i have some differing opinions on porn itself, but i enjoyed your perspective on it.

i would love to hear your thoughts on autism and hypersexuality in a broader sense. i’m someone that’s recently realised how much my premature exposure to sexuality and porn in childhood made me hypersexual in a way that really stunted my personal growth and had me traumatising myself with my own compulsive sexual behavior. as an undiagnosed autistic adhd kid i was just grasping after any form of stimulating and self-soothing behavior, but also looking after ways to make myself more interesting and appealing to peers and most importantly boys (because interest from men = value as a human i learned early on). i think i could’ve figured out gender and sexuality stuff a little earlier and avoided my comphet phase had it not been for how obsessed i was with sexualising and objectifying myself in my tweens and early teens tbh. i hope to see more people talking about autism and sexuality. my heart breaks thinking about how so many demonise kids with problematic sexualised behavior when they’re literal children trying to figure out this having a body thing and there’s usually grown-ups around them standing idly by doing nothing effective to help.

Hi there! I love hearing from people who don't share my perspective completely but can still get a lot out of my work.

I alluded to this yesterday, but I don't believe hypersexuality or hyposexuality are a thing. Where do we draw the line where it becomes pathological, and why? Clearly humans have varied in how much they desire and think about sex since the beginning of time, and while we still have not figured out a respectful, appropriate way to cope with the fact of it, children also sometimes have an interest in sex and masturbation and a curiosity about it that is completely value neutral. It's just a thing that happens because children are living human beings.

Unfortunately we inhabit a paradigm where this is supposed to be either ignored or punished and discouraged, and anyone who does bring it up is viewed as having some ulterior motive beyond the liberation of children from abuse. And so if a child is curious about sex or driven to explore it in some way, they only means they have of pursuing that interest is by consuming adult material, which a lot of people look back on having done with a variety of different feelings. It sounds like you saw a lot of porn from a young age that really gave you unhelpful expectations for yourself and others and that it really hurt you, and I'm really sorry to hear that.

I consumed a lot of adult content as a child and a teen, not just porn but also real life gore and jump scare videos and elaborate, violent sexual stories, and of all those experiences, the only one that seemed to scar me was the jump scare videos. Seriously, newgrounds fucked me up, and not because I was playing games like Orgasm Angel. It was shit like kikia that fucked me up. The potential that my most beloved friend, the computer, could start screaming at me and showing me dead babies at any moment meant I was on edge and obsessively read all the comments on every video I ever viewed for like... seven or eight years. Even if a friend or classmate wanted to show me a youtube video, I forced them to read through all the comments and convince me it wasn't a jumpscare video first. For like years.

It might be that the only reason I was able to watch and read and play a lot of porn online as a kid without any real adverse effects was because I had a really specific fetish, and so most of the content I was able to view was of an obviously fictional and fantastical variety or was made directly by the people who starred in it. As I wrote in my essay, I'm glad that I started watching brainwashing gifs on weird websites and masturbating to them as a kid. It helped me feel less alone in my fetish and it didn't scar me, and provided a sexual outlet that was actually pretty safe and private and didn't put me in contact with any adults. It was a really nice pressure valve, a way to stim and zone out and regulate my breathing and get off, and finding content like that helped me to realize there was a whole big wide world out there where freaks like me could be okay.

THAT said, I can understand your experience! Porn didn't fuck me up as a kid, but I did learn some really pernicious sexual norms as a teen, because I had abstinence only education at school and I obsessively read Dan Savage's advice column Savage Love as a replacement for having any kind of credible sex ed. I used to worship Dan Savage. I met him for pancakes once, you can read about my whole complex relationship to him and his work in a very old piece I wrote pre transition here:

Dan Savage's work was really influential on me and on a lot of people of my generation. From his stuff, I learned that I should be good, giving, and game for just about anything a partner wanted -- which meant I pressured myself to do things I didn't always want to do. He normalized a kind of casual, unarticulated nonmonogamy among people of my age group including everyone I dated -- and so being open without really discussing what that meant was the norm for me from age 19 until about age 23.

Dan Savage wrote that blowjobs come standard and that any model who is not equipped with them should be returned to the lot -- thats really how he described women who didn't do oral. As broken cars. Dan Savage said that asexuals should only date other asexuals and probably werent real anyway. He said vaginas looked like canned hams dropped from great heights. He said a gay trans guy who couldnt take T for health reasons was 'delusional' for wanting to date fellow gay men. Reading Dan Savage fucked me up, and it's not even his fault -- he was just an outspoken faggot with an advice column that was always clear in reflecting his biases and agendas, and I was just a horny confused kid with no sex education and no where else to learn about sex other than porn and the back of the local alternative mag.

So, this is all a very long and meandering way of saying that I'm sorry you also got attached very young to untrustworthy sources of sexual information and that they also scarred you and left you pressured to be something you were not. I was there. I think many of my generation were and some still are. and not just the Autistics. I know so many people who got swept up in the messages that conventional porn and writers like dan savage had to peddle -- straight people, queer people, poly people, disabled people, everyone. The sad part is that Dan Savage for all his faults was still a lot more progressive than where many of my peers turned, which was sites like efukt or the predecessors to the chan sites and shit. It was brutal out there.

It's also the case that many of us Autistic people are prone to intense fixation and rumination and obsession, by neurotypical standards, sometimes to our detriment, sometimes in a completely neutral way that would cause us zero harm if it weren't for all the societal stigma and judgement. and that can mean that, especially when we are lonely and closeted teens, that we retreat into a lot of damaging digital messages and imagery, and I think a lot of bad, sexist straight porn unfortunately played that role in a lot of people's lives. My version of that was instead compulsively reading pro ana livejournals (as a teen) and then later terf detransition blogs (in my 20s). So again I don't think it's necessarily a phemoneon of porn per se, but obviously there is a lot of really toxic shit out there that has warped a lot of people's viewpoints around sex and relationships, I can't deny that.

I wish I knew what the solution was to help prevent future generations of kids from going through the kinds of damage you and I went through, but I think we are so far from being prepared as a culture to have this conversation that most attempts to broach it end up making things worse for kids in all kinds of scary new ways -- parents heavily monitoring and controlling their kids browsing habits for example. That sure as hell isn't going to help a closeted queer kid who is exploring themselves in most cases. Instead of building a world that is more liberatory and supportive to kids, we just keep trying to control them more and more, and impose more and more strict standards on them, which always hurts the weirdest and queerest among us the worse. It fucking sucks. Shit. i really am going to have to write about about child liberation one day wont i