#no right minded person wants to go through that
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unknown-cold · 2 days ago
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"Her mother was just the final nail in the coffin. She tried so hard to do things right, and all she got in return was pain and heartbreak"
Literally!! I can't believe people are saying Caitlyn is overreacting, her mom is dead you idiot!! What do you mean she's overreacting!? You people have never seen a character go through such stages of grief, despair, and devastation. Caitlyn has been through the worst experiences of her life because of Jinx's attempted murder, kidnapping, torture, and now the death of her mother. I mean, Caitlyn's personality change and her intense hatred for Jinx and loss herself are completely understandable.
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Look how scared she is, we don't know what hell Caitlyn went through when Jinx kidnapped her, but that expression on her face says it all.
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And let's not forget that Caitlyn in episode 1 refused the order to invade Zaun. Even after her mother's death she still didn't want to use violence, and we later saw that she would go there for only three goals.
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And indeed she did, she attacked those gangs present in Zaun "Gangs that were hurting people and children in Zaun".
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(And of course we shouldn't forget that she didn't suddenly change her mind, but rather because of the attack caused by Ambessa that made her reach this level of anger)
And now Ambessa will definitely play an important role in Caitlyn's character change by inciting her to seek revenge.
Ambessa manipulates everything and puts someone in power she can easily control
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Another thing I found weird is how some people think in this ridiculous way to say that Caitlyn wants to kill the child or that Caitlyn wants to kill Vi. Are you really serious? Literally, you have never seen in any show or movie a character who is angry and loses control after that, don't you know when a person is angry they don't see it in front of them especially since she didn't want to make Jinx run away again, this was her chance to take revenge on the person who ruined her life completely (Caitlyn's actions are logical and her anger and sadness did not come from nothing or came from her mother's death only, but came from other things that were piling up on Cait which led to her explosion)
And as I was saying Caitlyn just wanted to kill Jinx, anger and sadness at that moment took over her. Jinx had NO mercy with Caitlyn, there is nothing that softens her actions.
And I hope you guys remember the true core of Caitlyn, she was trying to do what is good and she gets bombed, kidnapped, and her mom dead now.
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thetarotbaddie111 · 3 days ago
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how do they feel about you? (pick-a-card reading - detailed)
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1. 2. 3.
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     
(how to pick a card? observe the given options and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. select the card based on the number provided below and scroll down to read about the card you have chosen. remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)
˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦  
⊹₊⋆ pile 1
first off, this person is very sexually and physically attracted to you. they constantly think about you and they have a lot of love to offer you. but at the same time they are unsure about their feelings because they think this ‘attraction’ they have towards you can just be an infatuation. and because of this, they are not making any efforts to approach you. some of them might be in denial. they definitely like you a lot and they want to ask you out but due to their uncertainty, they are holding back. it looks like there is some sort of imbalance in their life and they’re trying to figure out what it is, and this is also one of the reasons they are not making a move towards you. there seems to be some conflicts in their personal life and they don't want you to be a part of it. they’re trying to resolve this conflict before getting into a relationship or pursuing anything with you. they definitely look at you as someone who has high knowledge and they admire the way you stand true to yourself. they look at you as someone who has their life together. they also find you very charismatic and emotionally mature and they feel like they lack those abilities. this also seems like one of the reasons why they’re scared to approach you.
for many of you, this person has not spoken to you yet but they admire you from afar. but they are planning to take steps and come forward because at some point they feel like they need to come clean to you because they can't hold in their feelings for you any longer. this person is very physically attracted to you and daydreams about you to an unhealthy level (be a little mindful about this). but this does not mean that they only desire you sexually. they also have genuine and pure feelings for you. i see that one of their love languages is gift-giving and i wouldn't be surprised if they get you a chocolate or flowers when they’re going to ask you out. or when they finally get the courage to talk to you, do not be surprised if they buy you small things like chocolates or anything like that. they feel like there is more to you compared to what you put on the surface and they’re very curious about you. at some point, they are trying to deny their feelings towards you and they realise that this is not working because the affection and feelings they have towards you is very strong. so, it seems like they will be taking a step forward and will try to approach you. but it's going to be a slow process. but do not lose hope.
also side note, do not be surprised if you find an anonymous note in your bag. this is a way of them subtly admitting their feelings towards you.
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✦ . ⁺ pile 2
i'm getting the energy that this person might be a little older than you (take only if it resonates). i'm getting a sense that they are going through a rough time right now. stress is definitely a huge negative factor in their life and they are weighed down with responsibilities. they see you as someone who is completely opposite to them. they see you as someone who has their life together, who has knowledge, who has good divine power, who is gentle with other people while their personality might be a little rough - as in like they have a very stoic personality. you seem very tender and very sweet and this intimidates them because they feel like you’re too delicate for them and they don’t deserve you.
some of you might be good with children and this person feels overwhelmed by this, not sure why. they also feel like you have your future planned out, career planned out and you're sure on what you want to do while they’re stuck in this cycle where they are not sure what they want to do and the responsibilities weighing them down is also increasing their burden.
for some of you, i'm getting a sense that your work requires you to travel or you might be travelling somewhere - and this is holding them back. they feel like they can't keep up with the long distance or they can’t keep up with the sudden movements - where one day you’re with them and the next day you’re not because of work or other responsibilities.
also, they pay extra attention to your hands. they find your hands very attractive. they find it very soft and delicate and very feminine. they also feel like you are too good for them and they feel like you are this very high-authoritative person (maybe you might hold a good position in work) and they feel very small - emotionally - next to you, and this makes them feel a little insecure. they’re trying to work on this so they can better themselves for you. they also see you as a confident person and they feel like they do not match your level. they feel like you would be embarrassed to have them around. they're also very curious about you and might ask people who know you about the things you like or dislike in order to know you better.
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٠࣪⭑꩜.ᐟ pile 3
oh my god. this person's feelings towards you are very genuine. they are emotionally attached as well as attracted to you. they admire the way you are so emotionally mature. their feelings for you are so strong (there is no doubt in that!) that they sometimes look at you and think “what have you done to me?”. you seem like a very social person and one thing they’re scared of is that you have many options open for you (in terms of romance) and they feel like they do not stand a chance. you're like this light that draws everyone in and you catch people’s eyes very quickly. it's like when you walk in a room everyone takes notice of your presence. they feel like they are going to lose you and they are working on changing this mindset.
it seems like this person had previously or currently had some bad habits, or habits that do not align with yours or something that you’d be attracted to, so they’re changing those habits for you. this is the amount of sacrifice they are willing to give up in order to be with you. they are willing to change themselves for you.
i am getting a sense that this person might jokingly throw around comments stating, “oh, i like you so much” or “this is why i like you so much” while talking to you. it seems like you know/have already met this person. they are definitely not afraid to show that they like you and may give out subtle hints. but at the same time they’re afraid you’ll find out about their feelings towards you because they’re still in the process of changing some undesirable habits. if you are very family oriented, they like this fact about you. it also seems like they have mentioned you to the people in their close circle.
they like how caring and giving you are regardless of how people treat you. you also seem like a popular person or someone who has many friends and connections and they admire how kind you are to people regardless of your social status. they see you as this trophy they want to win. they might say silly silly things to impress you (oh boy they’re in love!) and try to win you over.
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hi loves!! i hope this reading finds you in good health and i hope you are doing well. take care of yourself and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3
(note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)
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menacingpolkamusic · 1 day ago
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It's social justice telephone. "Trans men don't have all the privileges of cis men" -> "all men are oppressed for being men." "If you refuse to acknowledge that patriarchy also hurts men, the most vulnerable of them are going to go somewhere that actually listens to their problems and violent misogynists are going to give them the wrong solution" -> "if you were a little nicer to that catcaller he would change."
Because people hear "men" and the first thing that pops into their head is "my abuser." Most of us (there's always gonna be assholes in the conversation) are not talking about their abuser. We're talking about vulnerable men who have legitimate issues with patriarchy. There's a reason people are passing around bell hooks.
We're talking about men who truly want to be allies but are intimidated by women's valid frustrations, such as this man on the Chewed Gum show talking about his feelings on the man/bear question. Alyssa Ljub had a great response at 34:30 (abridged version):
[...] My brother [...] struggled a lot with being a very like sensitive, emotional kind of guy and that manifested as being angry and defensive when he was a teenager and through his more younger adult years, now he's 32 and a full adult and he's really understanding that what he's wanting to express is a more full range of emotions, but he didn't feel comfortable doing that because he was falling into that same mental pattern of that's not manly, men don't cry [...]
In the process of writing the TED Talk, I had given it to my brother to read and he went over it and [...] he encouraged me to look at it again and every time I referred to these like really atrocious things that had happened to women throughout time [...] he encouraged me to look at it and really consider [...] is "man" the word that I want to use, is it because men did this or is it the patriarchy, is it this system that we've created.
And at the end of the day, he was right because we all are victims of this same mentality, like this patriarchal mind space is the reason why [...] you are not super comfortable expressing a full range of emotions or it took you a long time to get there, similarly with my brother and similarly with how we all [choose the] bear and then we have a hard time understanding how men can't see it.
It's all the same system, it's the same machine and so there's a part of me that's always sort of like, it feels good to join in other voices that are able to say "bear and fuck the men who don't understand and that's not my job to teach them" and blah, blah, blah, like there's part of it that will always feel like turning the knife and it feels good for that moment but that's not actually a productive conversation and [...] that's not helping anybody.
And so the other part of it is, okay, [...] we're in this dialogue and [...] oh my gosh, men don't actually see it, they don't really understand why we feel that way and if they can't really understand it and they're in the same system that we are, it kind of is our responsibility to explain because if we don't, we're leaving them to their own devices to figure it out and when they're left to their own devices, they're at the hands of the same system that's telling them to shut down their emotions, be defensive and ignore what we're describing as physical risk that we feel with with strange men and that's not helpful, that's not helping anybody grow.
And so it's frustrating to some women, [...] "I shouldn't have to explain that" and I 100% get that, that's so valid but I think in this conversation, when we talk about how we move forward from how we have pushed men into being a specific type of person that is fitting into [...] this prototype [of] being really tough and minimizing emotions and unable to be vulnerable so that they can appear strong, when we've put men into that space, what pulls them out of it is vulnerability and softness and care and saying it's actually okay for you to want to be emotional in this time and it's actually completely okay that you're hearing this argument where people are saying bear over and over and you're like, "what the hell, I worked so hard to be the kind of man that people would be comfortable around and [...] I worked so hard to undo everything that I was inundated with as a child, like, and you still said bear?"
[...] I would encourage anybody who's listening who has that reaction of like, "I don't want to have to explain it to people. And if they don't get it, that's on them." I would encourage them to also consider how productive that conversation is. And if you, in that very moment, wanted to be productive. Sometimes we're like, "this is not worth it, I don't feel like having this conversation," whatever, that's fine [...]
I feel like that's the biggest thing that is inhibited for so many men in this system. They're not given the permission to feel everything that they want to feel and have a safe space where there might be an adult or a therapist, whatever, whoever is around them to say, "it's okay that you feel that way. And at the same time, the reason why women are saying bear is because even though you're a safe space, the information that we have, the statistics that we have about how many men are not is enough to make me say bear."
But I think at least in the way that I've experienced this conversation, especially with someone close to me, like my brother, where I've grown up with him obviously, and I've known him my whole life and seeing what made the biggest difference for him was allowing him to feel vulnerable and feel the full range of his emotions and actually process them through. Like actually see [...] "these are all the things I'm feeling and this is how we're gonna resolve it. And now I've learned something because I've actually resolved this feeling."
Notice how the person in question is her brother. It's not the catcaller who's feelings she's trying to look out for, it's someone she wants a relationship with. She could have written him off as just another angry cis man when he was a teenager, but she didn't. And now he understands a little of women's perspective and will hopefully try to reach men who wouldn't listen to women.
She recommends bell hooks as well.
Nooo mutual don’t put that “men fall down the alt-right pipeline bc women/feminists are too mean” post on my dash nooo mutual don’t try to say women need to be nicer when dealing with misogynistic men nooo mutual nooo
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kinardsevan · 14 hours ago
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i wrote a whole ass psychology breakdown (for the first time in FOREVER) about the break-up. enjoy (if you so choose):
so I've been reading a lot in relation to Tommy's speech during the break-up (and have actually gotten through the scene several times now, mostly as a creative reference for these fix-it fics. I think one of the first things that I've seen completely tossed aside (that bothers the shit out of me as someone with over a decade of therapy treatment and a psychology degree) is whatever trauma Tommy carries.
We know that there are issues with his dad. We know Lou's lore behind him is that he spent a lot of his childhood alone. We don't know anything in relation to his mom, but she may or may not be the cause of more trauma. We know that his way of dealing with abuse of authority is to shut down and follow the leader, which is likely a mix of his military time and growing up in his father's household (and when I say this, I mean from what we saw of him under Gerrard's command). This is a person who has put years into getting himself into some version of okay after all that he's endured, and we know he still generally does it on his own.
To that end, here, have my breakdown of the break up (roughly right about the time Buck says "I want you to move in with me"). (with pictures!)
Prior to the offer, we watch Tommy process through Evan's explanation about his relationship with Abby, things being transformative for him, etc. We have to bare in mind that this is where we also start to get what I've dubbed "starry-eyed Buck". He's so in the throes of what he's saying that I don't think he's really considering the connotation of his words. At the same time, Tommy doesn't know what lore Evan is about to drop him about this prior relationship. Remember that he now has to contend with the fact that they both have strong opinions on their relations toward Abby, and Tommy can't know if their feelings toward her as a person will be the same. I think Lou played this beautifully, appearing anxious and apprehensive as Tommy listened to Evan explain that Abby was transformative for him. Then he shifts into how Tommy has been transformative for him (which, he has, and we as the audience know this, but we understand it from a bigger POV than what Evan is saying with his words.)
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There have been posts about Evan putting Tommy up on a pedestal throughout this speech (and really, possibly even sooner, but this is where we really get it expressed). Tommy tries to rectify this to a degree by countering "I wasn't always that way".
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To that end, we then get Evan telling him "I know, and it just makes me admire you more." Tommy gives a bashful smile, clearly heartened by the statement, and even opening his mouth as though he's going to respond to it in some form. It would be interesting to know what was on Lou's mind of what (if anything) he thought would've been said there. Are there lines that were removed in this scene? Was 'I love you' actually going to come up? We can't really know. However, there's this part of me that thinks that Tommy thought that they were having a discussion on the depth of their relationship which would've possibly brought those 7 letters to the equation. Either way, this entire bit of facial acting is SO important, because it speaks volumes about how Tommy feels about how Evan feels about him.
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From there we get the "I want you to move in with me, and this, THIS, THIS is such an important point for this ENTIRE scene. It's two seconds, but it holds SO much for the narrative. This man, who seems to be on the verge of ...something, clearly (who knows if I Love You was on his mind, or if it was just the fact that Evan was expressing how much he cares about him.) The reason this is all so important is THIS REACTION:
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Now again, we don't know Tommy's trauma, but the joy literally drops out of his expression and shifts to panic. Now, speaking solely from the standpoint that these two haven't even said "I love you" yet, his boyfriend steamrolled over him from a possible declaration of love straight to moving in together without discussing semantics. Further, it's not even "I want to live together", it's "move in with me". We don't know much about Tommy's house (because these shitheads haven't built him a set yet), but we know that he has a HOUSE. With a GARAGE. Buck lives in a LOFT. Regardless of how much of an asshole this makes me sound like, it's crawling with red flags. It comes across as "fit more into my life" instead of "lets do this thing together". Further, if that's not bad enough, mention of getting engaged and married is thrown at Tommy as well, which holds two major bits of information: One, these are on Evan's mind. We've NEVER heard him talk about getting engaged or married to anyone. This speaks to the importance of their relationship to him, but the lack of I Love You also speaks on his own trauma. If we truly are getting the rom-com trope, at some point there's likely to be a conversation about why he lept over it (*cough* Taylor, his parents *cough cough*). Meanwhile, as he's continued in his starry-eyed speech, this is what Tommy is giving:
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Now for those who don't know how to spot it, this my friends is a PANIC RESPONSE. The shift forward, the move to get up, the literal deep breath. He's having a panic attack. Now, obviously we don't know what brought this on, but god-willing, we WILL get the answers.
Now, to his own point, Tommy doesn't just straight up pop Evan's pink bubble. He does express that it's a sweet sentiment, but that it's a bad idea. To which point we get:
"Evan, that is so sweet. But I can't move in with you." "And why not?" Because. I know how this ends." "Uh, what-what's that supposed to mean?"
At which point, we clearly get the qualities about Evan that Tommy likes. "Incredible guy. Big-hearted. Hot as hell. Impulsive." I don't feel that the expression here matters as much as his tone of voice, because we can see on his face that he's expressing these qualities from a good place. The next point of reference isn't until Tommy's next line, when he says that Evan's reaction is out of things being "new and exciting".
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To that end, the way Evan is talking to him makes this statement valid. He's not talking to Tommy like they've been together for six months and have built a relationship that should be moving in this direction. (For the tenth time I will repeat, he couldn't even dignify whether he was in love with Tommy when Josh asked).
Furthermore, I think when you consider this part of the scene, you also have to consider the strain in Tommy's voice. Something about those concepts (living together, getting engaged, married) is terrifying. It definitely gives the impression that Tommy has been faced with some version of this before and he got burned. Why is this important? Because of this:
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"I'm saying no matter how bad I want it to be, I'm not your last." Those 9 words are important on their own, but when you couple them with the expression on Tommy's face and what we've just seen him go through, there's a clear point to the fact that he's been through this before. I also think that there can't be enough importance placed on the way he intonates "how bad". This is not a man saying no because he doesn't want to. He's backpedaling because he's sure that he's going to get burned. We get this point further driven home with this exchange:
"I'm your first." "But hey, they can be the same thing." "But, they usually aren't."
See this doesn't read to me as someone who's scared because he knows Evan has never been with another man. They're both fully grown adults who have had multiple relationships. What this speaks to me (now) as, is someone who has let someone convince him before that he would be their forever, that they were all in, and then broke him. When you include his childhood trauma and whatever abandonment issues it's left him with in correlation with all of this, yes, it's still an extremely biphobic set of lines. But in the context of what he's expressing and why, it's not about telling Evan he needs more experience, it's about telling him that he doesn't believe that he'll want to stay settled down with him six months, a year, etc., down the road. And THAT my friends, is abandonment issues 101. "Everyone else has left, so it doesn't matter that I'm in love with you, because you will leave too, and I need to protect myself from that."
Following that, we get this: "if I were to move in with you, you wouldn't mean to, you wouldn't plan for it, but you'd end up breaking my heart."
This line is SO important, right next to Evan's exchange with Josh about his relationship with Tommy. Why? Because even though neither of them have said it, it spells out that these two are in fact in love with each other, even if they haven't said it.
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"I don't think I could deal with that." Tommy is fucking GONE on him. He's expressing that if he gave himself fully over to what Evan's referring to, losing him would break him. Again, we don't have the full picture on his trauma, but we know there's a mountain there. It's also worth noting again, that the intonation he uses in these statements clearly come across as someone trying to reign in their emotions and keep it together. That says to me that we're dangeously close to touching his trauma.
I don't feel like I have to include the final few bits of the scene in gifs because they're all over the site now, but the next line gives over the fact that he hasn't really been open about his trauma to Evan, given that his immediate response to expressing all of this is "I should go". This kind of reaction is generally brought on as not being accepted for having certain feelings. Now, obviously Evan is caught off guard by the entire interaction, the same way Tommy was (but for different reasons), so we have to take all of that into account when we think about the fact that instead of countering Tommy's logic, he asks instead if Tommy is breaking up with him.
Body language is also so important here for Tommy. His shoulders are hunched in, we see him wipe his face (meaning there are likely tears), and when he turns around, he's so caught up in whatever wave has taken him over that it takes Evan asking him for Tommy to state "yeah, I guess I did" about breaking up. Further, there's the fact that he states that he didn't see the break-up coming, which goes back to my point at the top of this post, that he clearly thought the conversation was going one direction, and instead it goes the other. From this point, we have Evan reeling, because he wants to create more of a life with Tommy, while Tommy is shutting down because of whatever is holding him back.
Finally, as I've referenced before, we get this line:
"Should've known that parking spot was too good to be true."
That line makes zero sense out of context, but in consideration of someone trying to lighten the weight they're carrying (which you can literally see by the way he has his hand on his neck, which you generally only see people do as a stress response). You can also double entendre this statement that getting to be with Evan was too good to be true. We get that little inhale with the smile, and I swear to God the only time I've seen that kind of reaction is right before someone cracks.
And then in closing, we get the "I'll see you 'round, Buck," our closing gut punch. Evan is still reeling, clearly. His face is very "what the hell just happened". Tommy is clearly not okay. This entire scene has opened an entire can of worms on them without a whole lot of answers.
Now, I've owned the fact that basically from the end of 806, I felt like this had to be a swerve, and that there has to be more to the story. I've also pretty much owned the fact that if the writers did actually just do this for kicks and don't have a resolution for it, I may not keep watching. However, in the context of the fact that, for the moment, I'm choosing to put hope in some kind of resolution, these lines make so much more sense. It is worth noting though, most people in the fandom, let alone the general audience, aren't going to psychologically break this shit down line-by-line. They're not going to lean into whatever trauma Tommy has that we don't know about yet. Its why the internet has been a mess since Thursday night. But it's also why I talk about how, when this situation gets resolved (because right now I refuse to say if), Buck has to give up the loft and give more of himself. Tommy, by the nature of the show, has fully immersed himself in Evan's life, but we haven't seen or heard mention of Evan doing so at all in Tommy's life. That doesn't mean he hasn't, but we haven't gotten any version of that. So when I say Evan needs to give things up... it's about matching what he's asking Tommy to give up. Because at the end of the day, when this circles back around, he's effectively going to be asking Tommy to trust that he won't break his heart like others have, and when you have a lifetime of abandonment issues and have learned to cope by being hyper-independent and alone, moving in the opposite direction is more terrifying than anything else. ESPECIALLY when you love that person, which we saw Tommy spell out. Evan has the ability to break him (and probably already is via this cut-off-at-the-quick break up.)
So, I'm really gonna need these shit heads to figure out that they'll be more miserable apart than they'd ever be together.
That's all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
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sinnaminsuga · 3 days ago
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𝖗𝖎𝖉𝖉𝖑𝖊 𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 - changbin x reader
wc: 4,400
cw: mostly fluff but then it gets NSFW. SMUT MDNI.
synopsis: changbin is your favorite barista who makes an effort to make every mundane morning coffee order a little more intriguing.
a/n: i wanted something soft and sweet and playful with binnie but if you know me i can't control my need to be a degenerate!
as always thank you to @httpdwaekki for helping me map this out (PLS BE PROUD OF ME FOR FINDING MY OWN PICS) and i'm including a tag for @thefantasyden because she is changbin's wife after all.
sw: dirty talk, talk of somnophilia, cockwarming, unprotected sex (pls be smarter than that), oral sex (m and f receiving), deepthroating, idk probably more but im bad at this shit.
Stopping at the little cafe down the street from your apartment on your way to work had become somewhat of a ritual for you. You looked forward to the coffee sure, but also the man making it for you. The barista who worked the morning shift, Changbin, was not only handsome but incredibly kind and sweet. In the weeks you’d been frequenting the little spot, you had developed a fun rapport with each other that you really looked forward to each day. It started off as simple hellos and exchanging of names but had developed into him no longer writing your name on your cup and instead opting for funny jokes, questions, or trivia facts. The trick though was that he always wrote the answers on the bottom of your cup so you couldnt find out the answer until you were done with your drink that day. Not only did it make the little game suspenseful but it also kept your mind coming back around to thoughts of the handsome man who started it.
Today was no different, you walked into the shop, saw Changbin behind the counter, caught his eye, drank in his gorgeous smile at your arrival, and approached the counter to order.
“Well well well, if it isn't my favorite customer!” he greeted you, leaning forward onto the counter. You couldn't help but glance down at his arms, they were so distracting sometimes with all that muscle on display. Quickly you averted your gaze to the menu board but unbeknownst to you, Changbin caught your appraisal of his body. He grinned secretly to himself before speaking.
“I don't know why you're looking at my board like you're going to order anything different than your usual.” he joked.
You put on a fake pout and turned to him. “I hate that you’re right. Whatever, coffee jockey. Just get me my drink!” you teased, poking out your tongue at him. His head dropped and his shoulders shook with the laugh that bubbled out of him. He wagged a finger at you and turned to make your drink.
You would never say it out loud but when Changbin turned around to make your daily beverage, it was one of the best parts of the interaction. It gave you nothing but time to feast your eyes upon the expanse of his wide back, the subtle tapering of his waist to his hips, and of course the curve of his ass. Hey, he is the one who put the tight pants on okay, he was practically begging you to look! Or at least that's what you told yourself. You were so lost in thought about what might be hiding under his signature form fitting black t shirt that you almost got caught gawking.
Changbin turned back to you, classic to-go cup in hand and you noticed his familiar handwriting on the side of the cup. His grin had you speculating what today’s joke or question might be. You took the cup from his hand and spun it to start reading it.
“ ‘What's the best thing you can do with 10 single digit numbers?’ ugh not fair, I hate math, I’ll never figure this one out!” you whined and stomped your foot. This prompted him to laugh again, carding one hand through his dark wavy hair while the other pushed his glasses back up the delicate bridge of his nose.
“There's nothing to figure out, I always give you the answer! Just think of me as your own personal snapple cap.” he retorted, eyes glimmering.
You huffed playfully and took a sip of your coffee before narrowing your eyes at him. “Alright well one day, I’m gonna know the answer all on my own and impress you. Just you wait!”
“You already impress me…” Changbin murmured just low enough you could barely hear it, but you did. For his sake though, you just pretended not to. “Anyway, this one is on the house, I’m feeling generous today. See you tomorrow?” he asked, his tone hopeful.
“Same time as always Bin,” you said as you turned to leave, “but be ready for me to have a witty response to today's question though!” you called over your shoulder with a smile.
***
All morning you pondered what the hell the answer to this number question would be. You cursed yourself for not asking for an iced drink instead so you could just chug it and look at the bottom of the cup.
After a while of typing, you reached out for your coffee and took the last sip cheering internally because now you could finally find out the answer!
When you lifted the cup and your eyes fell on Changin’s neat and tidy handwriting, your mouth dropped open. Surely this was a dream, right? You couldn't take your eyes off the numbers, his phone number, and the words “Call me!” in his personal script.
Almost mindlessly you picked up your phone and tapped out the numbers, your thumb hitting the call icon. After just two rings Changbin’s voice traveled into your ear.
“Hello?” he asked casually.
“Hi, Bin? This is you, right? You questioned, almost expecting it to be a prank.
“Ah, I see you've finished your drink! This might have been my best idea yet.” he chuckled. “Takes you a while to drink your coffee huh? I assumed you’d be quicker to finish, what with all the energy you have.” He flirted, and you had to cover your mouth to muffle the gasp at his innuendo. It didn't work though and he just ended up laughing louder.
“I’ll have you know mister Seo Changbin, there's a lot of things i'm quick at…and finishing is not one of them.” you quipped, this time you were the one hearing the gasp from the other end of the call. You couldn't help the grin on your face, talking to him just felt so easy and the flirting was so fluid and felt so good. It had been a long time since you felt this good talking to a man.
“So as much as I love our little coffee cup game, I'd like to buy you a different kind of drink. And dinner to go with it if you’ll let me.” Changbin said, a quiet apprehension coloring his voice like he was worried you might reject him.
“That sounds wonderful Bin, I'd love that. When?” you asked, already trying to plan what to wear.
“Tonight? Or is that too soon? Shit, I sound too eager don't i? Oh whatever fuck it, i am eager. I've been wanting to ask you out for forever!” he hurried out, his voice laced with humor and excitement. You took a few minutes to exchange information regarding the date and decided he would pick you up at seven. You said your goodbyes and hung up before tracking down your supervisor to tell her you weren't feeling well and leaving early to start the weekend. She didn't need to know you were really going home early to prepare for your date, that was your business alone!
***
Seven o’clock came quicker than you expected but luckily you were just slipping on some shoes when the doorbell rang. You took a deep breath to calm yourself before swinging open the door. Changbin looked gorgeous. You'd never seen him out of his apron before so it was a feast for your eyes. He went monochromatic in his look for the evening with black pants and a black button up shirt and it was enough to almost make you whine. He looked so damn good you couldn't stop yourself from making a joke to distract from your glaringly obvious staring. “Wow, I can't remember the last time I went on a date with a man who actually tucked his shirt in.” you quipped, making him laugh. “I'm concerned about where you're finding these men, tucking in your shirt is maybe the most work a man has to do in the getting ready for a date process.” he said, leaning against the doorframe grinning. “Now let's get this date started.” Changbin said, offering his hand to you and leading you to his car.
***
“You can't just drop insane lore on me like that and not explain! Start talking!” you hissed from across the table. “There's not much to tell! I was young with no work experience and I needed a job!” Changbin said, throwing his head back laughing.
“You can’t seriously tell me you believed it was a paid position on a dance team, he was so clearly pedaling a “Magic Mike” situation Bin!” you were wheezing at this point.
You had been talking about anything and everything for what seemed like hours and you had asked him how he got his current job. The story being that he used to go to the coffee shop every night before they closed to get his caffeine buzz for his job at a club downtown. He was a bouncer but the original interview hadn’t been for that. A man had scouted him on the street one day and asked him to come audition to be a member of a “dance team he was putting together”, and Changbin had been so sweet and naive that he believed him and went.
“Well I definitely knew what kind of “dance team” it was after he told me to take my pants off!” Changbin whined, covering his face with his hands as you cackled.
“Anyway, I told him I couldn't do that but I would work the door as long as he never asked me to strip again. Then I decided one day that the night shift wasn't for me and I just applied for the barista job and worked my way up.” he said, rightfully proud of himself and his accomplishments.
The waiter stopped by and delivered the coffee you ordered after dessert and scurried away again. You lifted the cup and took a sip, not enjoying it even a little. Your face must have shown it because Changbin huffed a quiet laugh before saying “The coffee sucks huh?”
With a shy smile you replied, “I’ve definitely had better.” A light blush tinged his face, knowing you were talking about the drinks he made for you every day. He reached across the table to take the cup from your hands and when his fingers brushed yours you swore there were sparks. He lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip. “Oh babe, it's not just bad. Its fucking burnt!” he said, scowling at the mug like it had insulted him.
“Let's get out of here. I’ll make you a better one.” He said, tossing some money onto the table for your dinner bill and offering you a hand to lead you to his car once again.
***
When you pulled up in front of the coffee shop you were confused. When Changbin offered to make you a drink, you assumed it was a flirty line and a way to get you into his apartment. But apparently he was serious when it came to the coffee.
You stood behind him as he unlocked the door and then he ushered you in.
“Bin are we supposed to be in here?! It's after hours! Won’t you get in trouble?” You whispered, trailing behind him as he flicked on a few lights and went behind the counter. When he turned to look at you his eyes were twinkling like he was in on a secret you had no idea about.
“Sweetheart, I own this place. And my apartment is upstairs, I can do whatever I want!” he said, shooting you a proud smile as he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows.
Your jaw dropped at his confession. You quickly schooled your expression and leaned on the counter. “So allllllll those times I playfully threatened to tell your manager you were messing with me, you were the manager the whole time?!” you screeched at his back while he prepared your coffee.
“Well...yeah i guess so!” He chuckled as he poured some espresso into a small cup. He finished making your beverage and turned to hand it to you. He looked so good with his sleeves rolled up, his hair a bit messy, and his glasses sitting just right, you couldn't help but stare at him for a moment. When he blushed again, you shook yourself out of your trance and took the cup, bringing it to your lips to take a long sip. Your eyes closed and you hummed a sound of satisfaction at the drink, he always made it just right. When you opened your eyes again that's when you noticed the writing on the cup. Looking at the side of it, you noticed he was continuing your usual game so you began to read it aloud.
“You can use me to say hello, and to say goodbye. I’m not as good when I’m too dry. I can be quick or I can be slow. What am I?” you spoke, curiosity coloring your tone. At the same time you were reading the riddle, Changbin was rounding the counter to stand in front of you. He reached out and took the cup from you, tipping it back and downing the rest of the liquid before handing it back to you. Your heart pounded as you tipped it back and read the two simple words on the bottom of the cup out loud.
“A kiss.” you breathed out. And then it happened. Changbin’s hands fell on your waist and pulled you toward him, your lips meeting gently. His mouth moved against yours as his fingers gripped your hips. Your pulse was racing and the only thing you could think of in this moment was how badly you wanted him. It had been months of playing around this attraction and it was all coming to a head. It seemed like Changbin felt it too because it was as if he couldn't get your body close enough to his even though you were pressed together. He was grabbing at any bit of you he could get his hands on and sweeping his tongue into your mouth as you gasped. It was the hottest kiss you’d ever had and your brain just chanted “more, more, more”.
He hiked your leg up over his hip and his thigh rubbed at you just where you wanted it to. You threw your head back as you panted for air but Changbin never slowed. His lips fell to your now exposed neck and shoulder where he alternated between kissing and sucking at your skin. You squeezed his biceps as his teeth grazed your pulse point. Then a thought pierced through the lust addled fog and you realized where you were, the coffee shop. In full view of the big glass windows facing the street.
“Bin…Bin hold on! People will see us!” You squeaked, horrified at the notion that any random person walking by might see you being taken apart by this man.
“Don’t care. Want em to see. Mine.” He panted against the skin above your breasts, rocking you against his thigh. The motion sent you reeling for a moment, the delicious friction against your center almost too good.
“Bin, take me upstairs. Please?” you whimpered against his mouth after pulling his face to yours.
“Yeah. Yeah youre right. Okay c’mon.” He mumbled, realizing maybe the idea of being seen wasn't the best idea for business reasons. He took your hand and pulled you to the back of the shop and lead you up the stairs. When you crossed the threshold of his apartment you didn't have much time to take it in but from what you saw it was very cute with some unique furniture pieces and light fixtures. Changbin weaved you through his apartment to his bedroom where as soon as you were in it, he had you against the wall with his lips attacking any sliver of skin he could get to. Your chest was heaving as he made quick work of your clothes and stripped you down to your bra and panties. He stepped back with a hand over his mouth, his breathing heavy as well. You felt very exposed as his eyes raked over you so you tried to make a joke.
“I’m almost naked and you're still fully clothed. Doesn't seem very fair, Binnie.”
“Fuck, say that again.” He groaned as he rushed back to you.
“Binnie?” You questioned.
“God, I love the way that sounds comin’ out of your mouth.” He pulled you to the bed and laid you down before reaching down to remove your panties. He gently pushed your legs apart and a low rumble resonated from him. “So fucking pretty. God damn, even prettier than I dreamt.” He groaned.
“Been dreaming about me huh? Why don't you have a taste and find out if I live up to your expectations?” you flirted as you brought your hands up to remove your bra.
And he didn't need to hear anything else. He dropped to his knees and drove right in. Immediately his lips latched onto your clit and he sucked, hard. Your back bowed up off the bed and a scream tore out of you at the unexpected intensity. Two of his fingers began rubbing at the wetness seeping out of you, and then he slowly pushed them inside. It felt like he was everywhere all at once and you were on complete overload. He continued lapping and sucking at you as his finger pumped lazily in and out of you, scissoring every few thrusts like he was trying to stretch you out. When your moans increased in volume and your hands fisted the sheets, Changbin curled his fingers and pressed against the spongy patch inside you. He rubbed over the spot repeatedly and gently bit down on your clit making you wail as you fell apart.
He removed his fingers and brought them to his mouth to suck them clean. The shine on the lower half of his face was all you and it brought you a sick kind of joy seeing yourself all over this beautiful man.
Changbin quickly removed his clothes until he was standing in front of you only in his boxers. You slid off the bed and onto your knees in front of him. When you looked up at him he was already staring down at you and it made you feel so good, knowing he enjoyed seeing you like this. You reached up and slowly drew his boxer briefs down, his cock springing free and slapping at his stomach.
“Jesus fuck.” You breathed, in awe of his size and the pretty leaking tip.
“What? Is everything okay? We can stop!” he hurried out and nervously pushed his glasses back up his nose as they had started to slide down from the angle he was looking at you from.
“No! No we are not stopping, fuck no. It’s just…you've got the biggest dick I’ve ever personally seen. Took me by surprise for a second is all, even though it shouldn't have. I should have known from how you carry yourself. Major BDE.” you explained and he started to laugh.
You leaned forward and in one go, took as much of him into your mouth and throat as you could, punching a sound out of him you'd never heard before but were determined to get him to make it again.
“Fucking hell baby, that was a lot. God damn it, your mouth is so hot.” he moaned out as his hips started to move. His hand weaved into your hair to hold your head still as he shallowly thrusted into your eagerly awaiting throat. Your eyes almost rolled back as you savored the taste and weight of him on your tongue.
All too early it seemed, he withdrew from your mouth. He started to chuckle but you didn't know why until he spoke. “You're pouting sweetheart. I took my dick out of your mouth and you look disappointed. I might be the luckiest man alive.”
“I like it. Helps me turn my brain off. And you taste good.” you mumbled. His hand came down to caress your cheek. “God, youre an angel huh? Sent just for me. C’mon, up.” he said as he helped you stand.
Changbin got on the bed first before motioning you to climb on top of him. “Wan’ you on top first. Easier for you to control how much of me goes in at once. Will you ride me baby?” he asked.
“First?” you questioned, still standing beside the bed. He looked at you confused.
“You said you want me on top first. You gonna be movin’ me around a lot?” you asked with a grin.
“Baby, i’m going to have you in so many ways tonight. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.” He said as you threw a leg over his lap.
You reached forward to take his glasses off for him but he stopped you. “No. I wanna see you, perfectly. Now go on, put me inside pretty girl.” And who were you to argue?
You reached beneath you to grab hold of him and line him up with your entrance. As you slowly sank down on him you watched his face. He stared at the spot where your bodies were now joined for as long as he could bear before you were fully seated on him and his head shot back. His hands wrapped around your thighs were squeezing you so tight you wouldn't be surprised to see bruises in the morning. You planted your hands on his pecs and thats when you saw it, the tears spilling out of his eyes that were slammed shut.
“Bin? You okay baby?” You cooed.
“Uh-huh. Jus’ feels s’good. Been waiting for this, for you, for months. God, feels so good it almost hurts sweetheart.” he whimpered on a shaky breath.
“It’s okay, M’gonna make it all better okay? Promise.” you said, leaning down to kiss him as you started to rock your hips. Gradually you picked up speed and were riding him in earnest, desperate to get him as deep as possible.
“Ughhh Binnie, feels so good. So big too, stretches me out so perfect.” you moaned.
“Yeah? You feel me so deep huh? Fuck youre so warm inside. Feel like im gonna bust like a fucking teenager.” Changbin groaned as you fucked him hard and fast, riding him like you had something to prove. You kept at it for a few more minutes until he stopped you to change positions.
He flipped you onto your stomach and pushed one leg up so you were flat on the bed but your legs were spread enough for him to settle between them. You felt the head of his cock prodding at you and then he sank inside in one fluid thrust. It was lucky you were already flat on the bed because if you hadnt been, you were sure your knees would have given out. He fucked into you like that for a few minutes and then he slowed down again. He leaned over you and pressed his chest to your back.
“I’m gonna try something, if you don't like it just tap my arm twice okay?” he asked and all you could do was moan out what you thought was an “okay”. Suddenly he looped his arm underneath your neck and bent it at the elbow effectively putting you in a headlock. He started thrusting into you again at a steady even pace and slowly he increased the pressure of his bicep and forearm against your airway. The obstruction of your airway was enough to send your brain into a foggy cloudy space and you loved it. It heightened the sensations of everything else. You could feel his sweat slicked chest sliding against your back, you could feel his cock throbbing inside you, and you could feel the heat in your lower belly building.
“Youre so fucking pretty like this baby. A beautiful doll just for me to play with huh?” he said. “Yeah you like it like this don't you? Quiets your brain for a while doesn't it? Makes you so cockdrunk you can't think of anything else. So beautifully mindless just for a little while. Binnie will take care of you baby, don't worry.” he spoke softly and you could feel that heat inside you skyrocketing. Who knew this sweet man was so nasty in bed? “Why dont you cum for me baby, hmm? Give it to me sweetheart, wanna feel this tight little pussy sucking me in.” he encouraged as he kept moving inside you. “C’mon…c’mon baby. Yeaaaah there it is. Good girl.” he coaxed as you exploded around him with a yelp. He released your neck from his hold and used both hands to pull your hips up.
“Can’ hold myself up Binnie. You have to do it.” you whined, exhausted and boneless from your second mind blowing orgasm of the evening.
“S’okay baby, I got you. Don’t worry, I'm so close, keep squeezing me like that. Yes yes yes…” he mumbled as he continued to batter your insides with his huge dick. About four thrusts later he was spilling inside you, laying claim to your walls with his cum.
Changbin was over the moon and not ready for this to end so he stayed inside you and rolled you both over onto your side into the spooning position. He reached over you to grab the blanket and cover you both.
“You wanna stay inside me Binnie? You want me again soon?” You yawned out, exhausted from the vigorous activities.
“Mhm…feels so good. Feels right, like i belong there. That okay?” He asked, his voice gentle as his hand stroked the soft skin of your thigh.
“Mmm yeah. Like it. Fuck me again when you wake up though okay? Even if i’m still asleep. Wan’ wake up to you drilling me.” You mumbled, fully about to descend into sleep safe and warm in his arms. Changbin groaned and bit down on your shoulder before he responded.
“God youre fucking perfect aren’t you pretty girl? Sure, as soon as i wake up I’ll fuck you into the mattress. Whatever you want baby, Rest up. I’m far from done with you.”
The End
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tetzoro · 20 hours ago
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˖˙ ꔫ — A STARRY SKY AND HOPEFUL EYE
꒰ synopsis ꒱ : nightly routines revolve around keeping watch with zoro, but today is extra special as you get to start his birthday off right with an intimate moment and a special gift.
꒰ contents ꒱ : zoro roronoa x reader ; alcohol mention. elements of hurt/comfort, tooth rotting fluff + filled with love. — WC : 1133
happy birthday zoro ♥︎
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“I'm here, don’t be afraid. I won't let anything happen to you.” A familiar, gravelly tone pierces through the thick fog of fear that was slowly consuming you. Zoro’s voice was every bit of him as ever — strong, driven, confident, protective.
It serves as a reassuring melody that tugs on your delicate heartstrings, commanding the attention that you so readily give. A gentle reminder that you’re secure in his arms and safely tucked away from the winds of change and everything else that the Sunny is drifting past.
But it held a serene tenderness that would only surface when the two of you were alone and under the stars, sailing across the open sea where the only witness to your love was the pearly moon that dreamily hung overhead.
You hum softly as you begin to fully wake, feeling the words rumble from his chest and caress your back, soothing all of your fleeting worries away. Zoro had a gift when it came to chasing away demons, a renowned hunter that would protect you from anything that dare brought you harm.
“‘m sorry.” You pivot a little, readjusting yourself to nestle into him better. “I didn't mean to fall asleep.”
“What did I say about apologizing?” He roughly gruffs out, a direct juxtaposition to the careful way he was cradling you. “Another nightmare?”
“They come and they go.” The fear of the dream subsides as you take in the night that beautifully envelops you both. 
The stars begin to unveil themselves, gleams of hope scattered across the inky black sky. The sun had long since gone to rest but the night prevails as the two of you keep a watchful eye.
The vibrant colors that once bathed the sky in orange and pink hues were now stripped back without the comfort of the sun. 
Keeping watch was a task you and Zoro would often face together. The norm was that each person would take two hours to complete their shift but overtime, yours had blended together. From the birth of midnight into the early cusps of the morning, this little cozy corner of the world was yours.
Countless times you’ve found solace in each other’s quiet wakes. Words would come far and few in between in favor of soaking up the comforting presence that bloomed whenever you were together. 
Even still, the whispered exchanges were something that never failed to fill you with warmth in spite of the desolate chill of night.
“Get some rest. I'll make sure they don’t come back.” Zoro’s lips faintly brush against your temple in an attempt to ease your troubled mind. Everyone fell victim to the darkness that plagues dreams and he knew all too well the toll they could take.
“I wanna stay up with you.” The looming winter breeze glazes over your face, kissing along your skin in such a way that has you huddling to the source of warmth that surrounds you. “It's your birthday so I want to savor as much time with you as I can before the others wake up.” A pause. “Besides, I got you a little present.”
Zoro shifts a little so he has a clear view of your face, sharp gaze set on you. Mirth swims in his steely eye as he makes contact, lips twitching heavenward.
“A present, huh? Is that why you locked yourself in the crows nest yesterday?” It was true, you had shooed everyone away from the room under the guise of training. But Zoro knew better — you’d never deny him the chance to train with you but he didn’t push it, opting to train on the deck instead.
“Maybe….” You trail off, smiling sheepishly before sliding off of his lap to reach for the gift you had stowed away earlier. The shimmering moon provided enough light for you to see, casting a luminous glow that blankets you both in a loving embrace, glittering with an ethereal magic that only the depths of night could merit.
“You gonna show me or what?” He smirks, his face closer to yours as you settle back in front of him. You nuzzle his nose with the tip of your own, an act of affection he’s grown used to over the time you’ve been together.
Silently, you hand him the small box and your heart thumps viciously against your chest. He opens the tiny, yet neat packaging and is quiet for a moment as he examines what lays within. 
In the box was a carefully leather braided bracelet with a singular bead woven in.
“You like it?” You falter for a moment. Before he can answer, you begin to nervously ramble. “I tucked my vivre card in the bead. That way if we’re ever apart, we can always find each other again.”
There's another pause and the only thing you can hear is your heart screaming for relief as it pounds against the cage of your ribs. Like clockwork, it eases back down as Zoro's face glimmers with an expression you hardly see, one that’s reserved for you during your most intimate moments.
“Hell yeah I like it.” Zoro's cheeks blossom into a soft pink, calloused thumb gliding over the textured leather. His voice becomes nothing but a fresh breath of air. “This is special.”
“It’s…” The word ‘nothing’ escapes you because it couldn’t be further from the truth. It means everything to you. Plus, he’d only chastise you for downplaying such a thing. “Good, I'm glad you do.”
“Put it on me.” Zoro demands, pulling you up into his lap. You hold onto his hand and gently wrap the bracelet around, the pads of your fingers trailing along his skin and he has to hold back a shudder. With a few simple motions, you tighten it so it’s secure and snug but not too much. 
The sunless sky shines again as Zoro smiles at the gift, the light warming you from the inside out and chasing away the chill of night.
“Thank you.” Zoro wraps his arm around your waist, nuzzling his face against your cheek and leaving a kiss there in his wake.
“Of course.” Tension rolls off of your shoulders with the acceptance he so readily gives you. All day, anxiety flooded your veins and took the breath from your lungs as you tried your best to make the perfect gift for him. You even went as far as — “Oh! I almost forgot. I got you something in case you didn’t like it.”
Zoro makes a noise of protest but it almost immediately dies out as he sees you pull his favorite brand of sake out from where you hid it — comically wrapped up in a pink bow.
“Well I'd never say no to this.” He lets out a puff of amusement, taking the bottle from your hand and opening it with ease. “What do you say? Up to share a little drink with the birthday boy?”
“Duh.” A giggle spills from your lips as you watch him hide his smirk with the neck of the bottle, taking a healthy swig. Some of the sake drips down from the corner of his mouth in which you easily scoop it up with your finger, bringing it to your own lips to clean it off. 
He leans in to give you a sweet, sake infused kiss. The slight burn of the alcohol dies down as his eager tongue swipes along your bottom lip, soothing the flames away and drenching you in adoration.
In a few hours, the rest of the crew would wake and who knows what they had planned for Zoro. But right now, with the stars as your only witnesses, this moment was for just the two of you. 
And Zoro couldn’t imagine a better way to start his day than having his favorite person in his lap, a bottle of sake in his hand, and the warmth of love that buries itself into his heart when he looks at the gift you made him.
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thank you so much for reading ( ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩) i hope you enjoyed ! ♥︎
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mumblingsage · 1 day ago
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I also think it's worth being pedantic about important things...and in that spirit I've spent like an hour writing and deleting various responses to this one (I found myself over-policing my tone and stopped that, so I'll just say right off I have no ill-will toward you and appreciate the contributions, even as I disagree on interpretation in several ways):
First, your tags - "for example a book can really kick off a delusion and set something off that can be traumatic." As I've said in another reblog thread, but it deserves repeating, triggering delusions, compulsions, or PTSD or adjustment disorder symptoms is not the same as causing trauma. We should try to accommodate people with triggers, and much of this accommodation will need to be individualized because the range of potential triggers is vast and often does not include things conventionally recognized as upsetting. I had a loved one make an irreversible error because of a delusion he had that was fueled by the due date on his library card being coincidentally the same as the date of his dentist appointment. That's not a reason for us to have a cultural conversation about the format of due date stickers. Though it could call for a discussion of how we can best support people who are experiencing delusional thinking or psychosis (we are currently doing very badly).
Re: vicarious trauma. Reading the Wikipedia article, I see that the examples given are of real life events reported on in the media, primarily social media and news coverage in the wake of terrorist attacks. I'm not going to get too deep into personal experience here, but let's just say this is not my first time hearing of vicarious trauma, and the important thing is that it is a real response to real harm and disaster. I wouldn't refuse evidence, but have not seen any, that it's caused by 13 Reasons Why or The Bridge to Terebithia or Outlander. (Bellingcat has useful advice for safety and 'metal hygiene' when engaging with firsthand sources of violence. I might use similar techniques when watching clips from a horror movie, but the stakes are not the same. Also, heads up that anyone who clicks through that link will read some text about distressing real-life events.)
"Books can have a significant impact on someone’s mind and outlook and that’s why they want them to be banned." < I agree and I think when people talk about how they don't want kids (or others) to read books about death, violence, sex, etc, they are participating in this. Authoritarians want us to have very particular ideas about these topics and resist any alternative information or thinking about them. When people go around saying "Learning or thinking about something upsetting is the same as being traumatized" they are doing the work of Christofascist Censorship Attempts, and I don't care if it's accidental. We don't need to compromise with them. (I don't have room to open this can of worms fully, but I also think too many people go around saying--for example--"13 Reasons Why traumatized me, I can't believe any library would let a kid read it" and thus send a message to the people around them with real-life experience with suicide, suicidal ideation, etc. that their experiences are unspeakable, untouchable. This social stigma is incredibly harmful.)
"I think it’s more productive to challenge the idea that a book that can potentially cause harm should be banned instead of the idea that books can potentially cause harm." < This is an interesting idea. I love its uncompromising stance. It's one I would adopt if I was convinced books can cause something that deserves to be called "harm" (the two of us may just have different definitions). I definitely believe we all have the God-given right to give ourselves nightmares and anyone trying to 'protect' us from that should be kicked in the fork of the legs.
I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
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uraveragelonelygay · 18 hours ago
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Gentle Love
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Pairing: Rio Vidal x Fem!Reader
Summary: She may be Lady Death, but to you, she is your sweet love.
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: mentions of depression, panic attacks, just a lot of hurt/comfort
a/n: surprise! another fic! i know a lot of people have been wanting just rio fics, so here you go! a little hurt/comfort! the goal was to make a mental health fic where it isn't romanticized, so here's hoping i did that! enjoy!!!
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Your relationship with Lady Death wasn’t one that had a spontaneous start. She didn’t save you from a painful demise, or help you realize life was worth living.
She had met you on her day off. (Yes, Lady Death gets days off. She’s not the only one working the underworld, you know.) She was wandering through a wooded area when she came across you. You were sitting under a willow tree, humming to yourself as you wove a crown of daisies.
Her heart had practically melted at the sight of you, and she found herself gravitating towards you. Before she knew it, she was introducing herself to you and you were inviting her to join you beneath the willow.
The two of you were pretty much inseparable after that. You spent countless days getting to know every part of each other; mind, body, and soul. Soon enough, you were deeply in love with Rio Vidal: Lady Death. And she could say the same about you.
You both had grown exponentially by being in each other’s presence. But a romantic relationship doesn’t mean the absence of all problems.
Rio struggled deeply with guilt. She hated that she had been bound to this calling, that she had been chosen to wear a face she found hideous and escort living creatures to a world beyond life. It pained her to take children from their mothers, sisters from their brothers, soulmates from their lovers. 
But you were so soft with her. Soft as you kissed her in her Death form, soft as you held her while she shook with guilt and self-hatred, soft as you assured her that she was doing the right thing. That you loved her always.
As for you, mental illness was something you had dealt with from a young age. After all, being a witch who was chased from countless villages and hunted endlessly, all for possessing a magical ability she never asked for…well, it tends to have some lasting negative effects on one’s mental well being.
You were proud to say you knew how to handle it, but you had your weak moments. Moments like now. And you hated them.
As you woke up, you felt a familiar heaviness in your bones. Your heart felt heavy but was racing all the same, your head ached, and your stomach churned with dread and anxiety.
You turned to the other side of the bed, reaching for your comfort, your person, only to find it empty. Your eyes filled with tears as you took a deep breath. 
You wondered if you should call her. You hated that the thought even crossed your mind. You could handle this alone.
“But you don’t have to,” your lover’s words echoed through your mind as you pondered what to do.
You and Rio had created a system for times like this. If ever you were feeling like the walls were closing in, like you couldn’t breathe, like you could barely function. All you had to do was think of a color and a name. Her name.
Yellow meant you were struggling, but could handle it alone if need be. Red meant you needed her.
You rarely tended to use red. You loved Rio, and you knew full well that her presence helped to calm you in times of discomfort and anxiety, but you couldn’t pull yourself out of your need to be independent and not rely on anyone for help. You hated admitting the need for help.
Even now, as you laid in bed, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to breathe, you refused to admit defeat. But you knew you owed it to both her and yourself to say something.
Yellow. Rio. Yellow, you thought as you brought your hands to your face, willing your breathing to calm down.
It was no use. All you could think of was how useless you were, how helpless, worthless, weak.
You choked out a sob as the room seemed to get smaller and smaller.
Until you felt gentle hands on your wrists, tenderly pulling them from your face.
“Hey there, sweet girl. Let’s sit you up, yeah?” Rio said softly.
You followed her instructions, allowing the witch to help you to a sitting position.
You met her eyes, expecting to see disappointment and disgust, but instead being met with nothing but love pooling in her brown eyes. 
Her hands moved from your wrists, gently intertwining her hands with yours. 
“There’s my girl. Let’s try and get that breathing to slow down. Wanna get some more air in those beautiful lungs of yours, yeah?” She cooed, her eyes encouraging.
You nodded, and she took one of your hands, placing it on her stomach as she took exaggerated breaths as an example.
You began to copy her, your eyes not leaving hers, feeling safe as you lost yourself in her.
She squeezed your hands softly. “Look at you go. Breathing all by yourself. I’m so proud of you, mi vida,” she whispered as you found yourself finally able to breathe steadily.
You both sat there for a few more minutes, her allowing you the space to feel whatever you may be feeling as you came back to your senses.
You opened your mouth to speak, struggling to find words to express your needs. As if she had read your mind, Rio let go of your hands to reposition herself against the headboard of the bed and opened her arms to you.
You smiled at her in gratitude, moving to sit in between her legs, laying your back against her front as she held you.
You both sat in silence for a few moments, just soaking in each other’s presence; Rio running her fingers through your hair with one hand and softly caressing your leg with the other.
Eventually, she spoke.
“I’m so proud of you.”
You shrugged against her and she shook her head.
“I’m serious, my love. I’m proud of you for calling for me.”
“Feel weak,” you mumbled as you hung your head.
Rio furrowed her brows, turning you to face her. “Quite the contrary, love. You are the bravest person I know. You can handle these things on your own. I know you can. But you knew it wasn’t what was best for you, so you called for me. And I’m so grateful to be in love with such a strong, beautiful girl who knows how to help herself,” she said, her voice full of adoration that brought tears to your eyes.
“I love you, Rio,” you choked out, your hands finding her cheeks, thumbs brushing against the skin softly.
She placed her hands on your waist, allowing you to initiate the kiss.
You brought her face to yours, kissing her with all the love you had. She kissed you back, softly, always softly, pecking your lips softly as you pulled away.
“I love you most, my precious girl,” she said, laughing as you rolled your eyes at her need to turn everything into a competition.
She kissed the tip of your nose, relishing in the way you wrinkled it at the sensation.
“Alright, I prescribe you a glass of water, some chocolate chip pancakes, and cuddles with your hot girlfriend,” she said as she got up, smirking at you.
She beamed in triumph as you giggled. “Well if that’s what the doctor herself ordered, who am I to disagree?” you teased.
“My thoughts exactly. I’ll be right back, my brave girl. I love you,” she said, her eyes softening again.
“I love you, Rio Vidal,” you said with a smile, and she blew you a kiss before exiting your bedroom.
Yes, she was Lady Death, but to you, Rio Vidal would always be your gentle love.
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writingwisterias · 3 days ago
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Each Era of Leon and their first date with you
WARNINGS: Fluff, Fem!Reader
RE2,RE4R, Damnation, Infinite Darkness, Vendetta, RE6, Death Island
(not proof read was bored at my dads and did this quickly lmao)
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RE2:
Leon sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror for the 100th time, his keys jingling as he pocketed them.
He swore his heart was going to explode with how fast it was beating, the idea of a first date still seemed stranger after everything he had been through.
His fist shook as he knocked on the door to your house, the stained glass window was decorated with flowers. The walkway lined with small flowers was the perfect family home, something he again assumed would be something to give away after he signed his life away to the government.
Your outfit was different from what you wore at the office, your frame decorated in a soft flowery dress, "Hey, you look nice" you spoke sweetly the door shutting behind you.
He couldn't stop the blush that lingered on his cheeks, the smile that grew impossibly wide as he linked his arm with yours. It felt nice; the weight of your arm in his...it felt right. "So do you" he stuttered out, cringing at the shakiness of his voice.
Once he finally settled in the restaurant, his nervous chatter reduced. You smiled as he talked enthusiastically about your interests, offering pointers and tips on how to help with the garden. Even offering his own help to you.
He somehow stumbled his way through the date for you to offer him a second one, departing the night with a simple kiss on his growing red cheeks.
RE4R:
After everything he's been through, he fought hard with himself to hold the slight shake in his hands.
Checking himself over briefly before going out, his outfit was casual but practical. A new warm jacket draped over his form since he lost his other one in Spain.
His knock is firmer, he's hand tucked in his pockets as he waits for you to leave your house. Not looking at the door, only looking at his feet.
It's only when he sees you his breath falters, your hair curled nicely falling across your shoulders, your dress showing off your form perfectly. "wow" is all he managed to get out, his smile growing at the dust of pink that showed up.
He's cracking jokes the entire evening, small puns here and there as he checks the menu for what he wants.
Pays for the whole thing, maybe would let you pay for the tip.
You already knew he was in for a second date..he didn't even need to ask
Infinite Darkness:
Most relaxed out of all of them, he was confident he looked good, opting for a shirt and jeans. His trusty leather jacket thrown over his shoulders.
He's looking at the door when he knocks, his body is still stiff but there's no obvious signs of being nervous
Smiling before you even made eye contact, hand on your waist as he leads you away.
Opting for a more low-key casual date in case he gets called away on a mission so he takes you to a coffee shop.
Paying for everything again, I'm sure he has so much money and no one to spoil.
But more touchy than the other ones, hands on your lower back as he guides you to a table, small touches of his fingers as he walks next to you.
If he's feeling bold enough he would kiss you, his hand weaving in your hair as he brings you closer.
Damnation:
Despite his grumpier tone during this film and his drinking habits in full force. He would try and do everything in his power to show up sober and not hungover.
This would mean he's slightly more nervous, not just because of the lack of sleep since he didn't drink the night before but also because it's first time he's been open with someone like this for a while.
Would be the easiest person to deal with at the start of the night, very closed off when he picks you up. However he does manage to compliment you though, his cheeks blushing when you return the favour
His humor is dry having lost the will to keep going it became more depressing but you didn't seem to mind. He instead started to view you as a light in the darkness.
So much so that he doesn't want the night to end. Dragging it out by going on a walk buying hot drinks and enjoying the simple conversations.
This is when his guard slips and you see past the tuff exterior he built to survive the harsh world.
His kiss at the end of the night is simple, but leave an impression on you along with a promise for more
Vendetta:
We all know he's the most depressed out of all the eras, so he wouldn't really care too much in his appearance. He's just shocked you even took enough interest.
I imagine it's more after the events of the movie where he's slightly on the brighter side.
He wouldn't talk about his job, using the date as an excuse to get away from it.
Very touchy, probably the only time he's realized how touched starved he actually is.
Drinking, he would probably try to avoid it during the night. He doesn't want to give you the wrong idea but towards the end he eventually gives in..not quiet content enough to go sober.
His kiss is sloppy but meaningful; a lot of his unspoken feelings about you given in the last moment with the kiss..leaves you begging for more.
You feel like you still don't really know him but know him enough to want to go for a second date
RE6:
Defiantly had a drink before he left, his outfit is scruffy and doesn't put too much thought into it. At least he put aftershave on though!
His knock on the door is firm and confident, smiling instantly when he sees you and almost escorts you to the car.
Opted for a nice restaurant making sure he booked a booth so he could have this moment without other people looking at him and you.
His conversations are mainly about your interests again, dealing out a couple of his own hobbies without giving away a lot of what he does...not fully trusting you to handle that information yet.
Keeps his drinking to the minimum, wanting to actually remember the events.
Drives you home but you stay in the car a bit longer, the conversation seemingly flowing a lot easier in this situation.
Kisses you passionately again, cradling your face as he does it.
DEATH ISLAND:
He's more nervous this time around, putting in more thought into his clothing..scolding himself for being so nervous.
Sober when he picks you up and during the entire date.
Is the most open with you off the bat about his interests but is still blunt with his job.
Picks you up on his bike but tells you before hand so you can dress appropriately.
Smiling the entire time he's driving you to the location, he loves how your hands tighten around him as he goes faster. The feeling of you pressed so closely to him
His heart melts when you exclaim how much fun it is!
Very big on touching, but always asking permission before he does.
Kisses you after you get off the bike, not driving away until he sees you have gotten in the house safe.
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zyafics-recs · 2 days ago
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reblogging comment review from @zyafics
it’s 6:47am and i went “why not” so here i am reading ⬇️
You were home.
PAUSE DID I MISS SOMETHING
Your father, with his disheveled hair and red-rimmed eyes, swung the bottle in his hand dangerously close to JJ’s head. Each wave of the bottle sent droplets of amber liquid flying, dotting the floor like gruesome confetti.
god this paragraph eats ur descriptions 🤌🏼 (the amber liquid, the droplets on the floor? yeahhh i know u ate with that)
It was Rafe.
ohmygod im spiraling right now
You felt a surge of nausea, your stomach churning with revulsion of yourself. The nightmare still clung to you, the vivid memories of his hands around your throat making it hard to reconcile the image of him sleeping so peacefully.
what if she runs away (i would eat that up🤭)
Sleeping around—no, not just sleeping, practically baring your soul to one of the people that had destroyed your life? That had taunted and beaten your brother? Your friends? That killed a cop and got away with it? The thoughts circled in your mind, relentless and unforgiving. The cool night air was a temporary relief, but it couldn’t wash away the shame eating you alive. How did it come to this? How did you go from hating Rafe to being tangled up with him like this? 
why am i so scared of the upcoming angst
Maybe you were holding on to the only person who managed to pull you out of Ward’s grasp, fooling yourself into finding some good in someone who had caused so much pain. 
stockholm syndrome (it’s not… i think)
Rafe's voice cut through the air, his tone urgent, "How the fuck did you not see her leave? Did someone take her?”
he’s so protective of her i’m so in love 💍
Rafe's head snapped up, his blue eyes widening in relief as he caught sight of you. "Thank God," he breathed, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “Fucking hell, Maybank.”
THE FUCKING BUTTERFLIES 🦋
His arms were around you in an instant, his warmth enveloping you. His hands rested gently on your back; fingers splayed wide. For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace for the last time, the tension in your shoulders easing ever so slightly. Barely looking at him, you pushed him away, your movements sharp. His hands fell away from you, confusion flickering across his features like a shadow passing over the sun. The hurt in his eyes cut through you like a punch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to dwell on it.
STOP STOP STOP
You hated the fact you could pinpoint the sincerity in his voice so easily. It nearly killed you. 
LET HIM IN PLS 🛐🛐
“It was a mistake.”
i’m actually holding my breath pls gigi let me breathe 😭😭😭
Rafe could act cold and stoic all he wanted; you could hear the hurt in his voice and sense the sadness in the words. He sounded broken.
"You're angry,” Your mouth ran dry, your heart lurching into your throat. "I’m sorry.”
"Sorry?" he seethed, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, "Angry? You think you mean enough to me to make me angry?"
SHUT UP RAFE
“Stop it,” Your voice broke a little, fighting the waterworks that were threatening to run down your cheeks, “Stop making it sound like it meant nothing to you.”
no bc i would lose it in that room (absolutely go kill bill or disney princess cry idk yet)
“And whose fault is that? Hmm? You said you didn’t want to stop. You wanted it, you wanted me.”
You staggered back, feeling as if the ground beneath your feet was shifting, uncertain, and unsteady.
"I wanted it," Rafe repeated, fingers digging into his chest, his voice raw with emotion, "I wanted you."
the way my stomach rolled oh my god u r incredible at creating emotions
The anger that had driven him was gone, replaced by a hollow, almost haunted look
love the description of haunted had to take a sec to think what that is
He finally looked at you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with a mix of pain and regret. “I... I couldn’t stay away,” he slurred, his words thick with the effects of too much alcohol. “I tried, but...”
RAFE MY ANNOYINGLY POOR BABY
“It’s not, Maybank. I’ve done enough damage for a lifetime. It’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed instead of right next to me.”
actually stop hurting me pls and thank u
It took you hours to fall asleep. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the events of the past weeks replaying in your mind. You thought of Rafe, of the hurt in his eyes, the way he had looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. 
THE ONLY THING KEEPING HIM TETHERED TO REALITY STFU UP
Rafe’s gaze flicked to you as if he was memorizing your features, from your eyes down to your lips. You could see the gears turning inside his brain and it made you sick to your stomach when he took a deep breath, his eyes hardening with resolve, “Run.”
STOP MY HEART IS RACING 🫨
Without thinking, you ran to Rafe, your heart pounding with fear and relief. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and gently pulled you back, his eyes searching yours to make sure you were okay, but before you could assure him you were fine, he kissed you. His lips pressed firmly against yours, and you felt his tongue gently parting your lips, exploring with a tenderness that made your knees weak. It felt so…real, it nearly brought you to your knees. As cheesy as it sounded, it felt like time stood still for you, the rest of the world ceasing to exist. 
ITS LIKE A CRIMINAL LOVE STORY PLS 😭
“Baby, you—“ he coughed, blood seeping through his teeth, "You gotta go home.”
STOP STOP STOP STOP
“I’m not leaving without him,” You made the mistake to glance back one last time, your heart breaking as you saw Rafe's eyes close, his body slumping against the ground, “No, no, no! Keep your eyes open, I swear to god—” Your hands trembled as you tried to staunch the flow of blood with your already stained clothing, "Stay with me," you pleaded, your voice cracking. 
i’m actually gonna kill u gigi u have no idea
As you were led out of the police station and into a waiting car, your mind raced with thoughts of him, lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, by himself. You couldn't bear the thought of him waking up alone, without knowing that you were there for him.
If he ever woke up.
for once in ur life i need u to be crazy and jump the car
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
FINAL THOUGHTS | omg. OHMYGOD??? okay one thing i absolutely love about this chapter is your emotional development and connection. the way that reader had to pull back because of her nightmare, because of what it means to be with rafe in the real world, the way she withdraws from him and it hurts him until they get to that argument. and that ARGUMENT; rafe being vulnerable while also pushing back, while also being sharp and anger? that PIERCED MY SOUL because u did it so well i actually held my breath and stopped breathing and just stared at how well u managed to capture emotional moments without exaggerating it. then then, him looking at her face trying to memorize her features before telling her to run? to kissing her because he couldn’t stand it anymore? screaming. AND THEN HE GOT FUCKING SHOT?? i saw spoilers that he got shot but i was so wrapped in the story i FORGOT 😭 it literally took me out 😭😭😭 I NEED HER TO JUMP OUT THE COP CAR OR SOMETHING PLS STAY WITH HIM 😭
THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE - rafe cameron (+18) - four
request: "a rafe enemies to lovers 🫣 the reader is jjs sister the whole drama before but then she gets left behind on the ship and rafe ends up comforting her and then yea that’s all I got you can do whatever else the rest 😛"
warnings: angst; gun violence; blood;
word count: 7.1k
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You woke up confused staring at the oddly familiar ceiling, filled with posters ripped from the old magazines you’d gotten at a second-hand store. When you were sixteen is sounded like a great edgy idea. 
You were home.
What the—? How? 
Sitting up, the room felt stifling, the air thick with the stale smell of old wood and the faintest hint of your father’s cigarette smoke, a scent you had hoped never to encounter again. The heavy feeling in your chest wasn’t just the dread of being back; it was the oppressive memories flooding back, threatening to drown you.
The sound of a muffled argument seeped through the thin walls, pulling you back to the present.
Your heart pounded in your ears as you recognized the angry, slurred voice of your father.
He was shouting at someone, probably your brother, just like he used to. The familiar clinking of bottles and the crash of something being thrown sent a shiver down your spine.
No. This wasn't real. This couldn’t be real.
You swung your legs over the side of the bed, feeling the rough carpet under your feet, grounding yourself in the moment. You stood up shakily, each step toward the door feeling heavier than the last. The hallway stretched out before you, longer than it should have been, and the flickering light cast eerie shadows on the peeling wallpaper.
As you approached the living room, the noise grew louder, more distinct. Your father’s voice, filled with venom and rage, cut through you like a knife. You reached the doorway and peered in, your breath catching in your throat. There he was, towering over your JJ, his face twisted in anger. Your little brother was cowering, trying to make himself as small as possible, his eyes filled with fear. The scene was a haunting echo of so many nights you’d tried to forget.
“No,” you whispered, fear and anger bubbling up inside you. “This isn’t happening.”
But it was.
Your father, with his disheveled hair and red-rimmed eyes, swung the bottle in his hand dangerously close to JJ’s head. Each wave of the bottle sent droplets of amber liquid flying, dotting the floor like gruesome confetti. JJ flinched with every movement, tears streaming down his cheeks, and the sight made your heart ache.
“Get out of my sight, you worthless—” your father roared, his voice a terrifying growl.
“No!” you screamed, stepping into the room before you even realized you were moving. “Stop it!”
Your father turned, his bloodshot eyes narrowing as they focused on you. For a moment, there was a flicker of confusion, as if he couldn’t quite believe you were standing there.
Then, recognition set in, and his scowl deepened.
“You,” he spat, the word laced with bitterness. “You think you can just walk back in here and tell me what to do?”
The room seemed to shrink around you, the walls closing in, suffocating. But you couldn’t back down, not now. Not ever again.
“Leave him alone,” you said, your voice trembling, “He’s a child!”
Your father took a menacing step toward you, the bottle still clutched in his hand. “You’ve got some nerve, coming back here and talking to me like that. Looking exactly like her!”
Every instinct screamed at you to run, but you stood your ground. “I’m not afraid of you Luke,” you lied, your voice barely above a whisper.
His eyes flashed with anger, and he raised the bottle, ready to strike. You braced yourself, every muscle tensed, waiting for the blow.
“Dad, please!” JJ’s voice broke through the tension, small and desperate. 
“Don’t hurt her.”
The plea hung in the air, a fragile thread that seemed to hold back the storm for just a moment. Your father’s hand wavered, his eyes darting between you and JJ.
Then, with a roar of frustration, he threw the bottle against the wall, where it shattered into a thousand pieces. The crash echoed through the house, a final, violent punctuation to the nightmare unfolding around you.
“You’re a coward, you know that? Hitting on your own children. You’re trash.” you spat out, the words flying from your mouth before you could stop them.
His face twisted, “What did you say to me?” He lunged at you, his hands going straight for your throat. Fear surged through you as his fingers tightened, cutting off your air supply. Your hands flew up to try and pry his grip loose, but he was too strong, too relentless, too driven.
Black spots began to dance at the edges of your vision. You struggled, gasping for breath, but his grip only tightened. The room started to spin, and just as you thought you might pass out, his face began to shift, blurring and changing. You blinked, trying to clear your vision, and when you opened your eyes again, it was no longer your father choking you.
It was Rafe.
Rafe's face, with a sickening grin, loomed over you. His eyes, filled with a cold, calculating malice, bore into yours. “You thought I’d be any different?” he sneered. “You signed your death sentence, pogue.”
The terror was overwhelming, a wave of cold dread washing over you. 
Your heart pounded frantically against your ribs, but you couldn’t scream, couldn’t call for help. His grip was like iron, unyielding and merciless.
You fought against him with all your strength, but it felt like trying to move through quicksand. Every movement was sluggish, every attempt to break free met with resistance. The walls around you seemed to close in, the room becoming a claustrophobic prison.
As the edges of your vision began to fade, a new sound cut through the suffocating haze – JJ’s voice, calling your name. “Sis! Please, wake up! Wake up!”
With a final, desperate burst of energy, you tore yourself away from Rafe, his grip suddenly gone. You were falling, tumbling through darkness, and then–
You jolted awake, gasping for breath, your body drenched in sweat. The familiar ceiling of the motel room came into focus. The terror of the nightmare clung to you, and it made it hard to breathe.
Your hands went to your throat, feeling for bruises that weren’t there. It was just a dream, you told yourself, trying to calm your racing heart. Just a nightmare.
As your breath began to steady, you turned your head, feeling the sheets rustle against your skin.
The dim light of the room cast long shadows, and your heart sank when you saw Rafe lying next to you, his chest rising and falling in a deep, peaceful slumber. He was naked, his body partially covered by the sheets, a stark reminder of what you’d done hours ago.
You felt a surge of nausea, your stomach churning with revulsion of yourself. The nightmare still clung to you, the vivid memories of his hands around your throat making it hard to reconcile the image of him sleeping so peacefully. You quietly slipped out of bed, trying not to wake him, and grabbed your clothes, dressing quickly.
Standing in the small bathroom, you splashed cold water on your face, trying to wash away the remnants of the dream. The coolness against your skin brought a brief sense of clarity, but it didn’t banish the lingering sense of dread. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your reflection pale and haunted.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. You had to get out of here, clear your head, and figure out what to do next. Slipping out of the bathroom, you grabbed your keys from the nightstand, sneaking one last look at Rafe. He was still asleep, completely unaware of the fear inside you.
The motel hallway was dark and quiet, with the faint hum of the vending machine being the only noise. You made your way to the exit, and the cool night air hit you like a splash of reality. It felt like you were stepping out of one world and into another, the contrast so stark and jarring. 
You took a few more steps, but your vision blurred, and you felt lightheaded. You slumped against the wall, struggling to catch your breath.
The panic attack hit you full force, your chest tightening, and your mind racing. You couldn't let Rafe see you like this. You couldn't let anyone see you like this. You sank to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to focus on something, anything, to calm yourself down. You started counting your breaths, focusing on each inhale and exhale, trying to slow your racing heart. You thought of JJ, of how much he needed you to be strong. You couldn't fall apart now, not when there was so much at stake.
You kept counting, kept breathing, the cool air helping to clear your head. Slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease. The world started to come back into focus, the shadows in the hallway retreating.
You wiped away the tears that had slipped down your cheeks and stood up, feeling a little more in control.
Sleeping around—no, not just sleeping, practically baring your soul to one of the people that had destroyed your life? That had taunted and beaten your brother? Your friends? That killed a cop and got away with it? The thoughts circled in your mind, relentless and unforgiving. The cool night air was a temporary relief, but it couldn’t wash away the shame eating you alive. How did it come to this? How did you go from hating Rafe to being tangled up with him like this? 
You thought of JJ, of your friends, the people who had been there for you through everything. They’d never understand.
Hell, you didn’t even understand it yourself. You stopped and leaned against a lamppost, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You had to sort through this mess, had to figure out what was real and what was just the lingering effects of captivity and longing. Maybe you were holding on to the only person who managed to pull you out of Ward’s grasp, fooling yourself into finding some good in someone who had caused so much pain. 
An hour later, you made your way back to the motel. Each step felt like a struggle, the guilt and self-doubt threatening to consume you entirely. You couldn't shake the feeling that you'd betrayed everything you stood for by letting Rafe into your life, even if it was just for a moment of weakness.
As you approached the entrance, you saw him standing at the front desk, looking worried and disheveled. He must have just woken up, throwing on some shorts in a hurry. His expression was tense as he spoke to the front desk guy, hands moving rapidly, gesturing around. 
Your pulse pounded as you walked in, not sure of what to say, what to do, how to approach him. The memory of the nightmare still lingered, haunting you like a specter refusing to be exorcised.
Rafe's voice cut through the air, his tone urgent, "How the fuck did you not see her leave? Did someone take her?”
The front desk guy shook his head, his expression apologetic. "I apologize sir, but I haven't seen anyone come through here."
With a deep breath, you stepped forward, revealing yourself to him. "I'm here," you said quietly, voice rough from not speaking since you woke up.
Rafe's head snapped up, his blue eyes widening in relief as he caught sight of you. "Thank God," he breathed, his shoulders visibly relaxing, “Fucking hell, Maybank.”
His arms were around you in an instant, his warmth enveloping you. His hands rested gently on your back; fingers splayed wide. For a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace for the last time, the tension in your shoulders easing ever so slightly. Barely looking at him, you pushed him away, your movements sharp. His hands fell away from you, confusion flickering across his features like a shadow passing over the sun. The hurt in his eyes cut through you like a punch, but you couldn’t bring yourself to dwell on it.
You took a step back, putting some distance between you and Rafe, needing the space to breathe, to think, to figure out what comes next.
Your gaze flickered to the floor, unable to meet his eyes, unable to face the consequences of your actions, "Just needed some air," you muttered, your voice barely audible even to yourself, “Sorry for not leaving a note.”
Rafe's expression shifted from relief to concern as he watched you, his brows furrowing with worry.
"You okay?"
You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, "I'm fine," you replied, your voice lacking conviction even to your own ears. "Just felt a little nauseous.”
His hand reached out tentatively as if he wanted to comfort you, but he hesitated, letting it fall back to his side. “I just woke up and you were gone, and I...I panicked."
You hated the fact you could pinpoint the sincerity in his voice so easily. It nearly killed you. 
“We should go back.”
"Will you... will you be okay?" he asked, his voice hesitant.
You nodded, trying to muster up a reassuring smile, but it felt hollow and insincere. "I'll be fine," you lied, the words tasted bitter on your tongue, “Just need some rest.”
“Okay. Okay, yeah, let’s go back.”
As you stepped inside the room, the early sunlight washed over Rafe's face, highlighting the worry etched into his features. He watched you carefully, as if afraid you would’ve disappeared again at any moment. He tried to reach out and grab your arm, but you moved too quickly, and he was left grasping air.
You offered him a weak smile, ignoring the look on his face, "I'm sorry for leaving like that," you said, your voice tinged with genuine regret. "I’m fine.”
You didn’t think he believed you. He was watching you so closely. He took in how disheveled you looked. The mess of your hair, and barely laced-up shoes so you could get out the door faster. Rafe’s eyes pierce into your own, searching them for something as he took a deep breath to calm himself.
It took several tense moments before he finally spoke, “Is this about last night?”
Your body froze, panic taking over every single one of your muscles. What were you supposed to tell him? Lie? Tell him the truth and make him hate himself even more? Keep your pain down to hold his?
“It was a mistake.”
You went straight to the chase.
He stalked closer to you, and you took a step back reflexively, “A mistake?” he echoed between labored breaths, “A mistake?”
“Yeah," you stammered, trying to articulate your thoughts, "It's not right. We, we're just lonely."
You despised yourself for even hinting at it, but the tumultuous month spent with him had been bewildering, to say the least. You questioned whether you were truly good for each other.
"I thought..." he began, his voice trailing off as he struggled to find the right words.
The pain in his voice pierced your skin, a reminder of the consequences of your actions. But you needed to put yourself first.
“I’m sorry.”
Rafe's face contorted, his features tightening into a mask of disbelief. And you couldn’t blame him for whatever he was about to unleash on you.
“So, what? You're just gonna walk away?" He tried to bark, but his voice quivered from grief, “Stop looking at me?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He scoffed, lips twisting into a sneer, as he started to pace around the room, his movements restless and agitated. “That’s funny.”
Rafe could act cold and stoic all he wanted; you could hear the hurt in your voice and sense the sadness in the words. He sounded broken.
"You're angry,” Your mouth ran dry, your heart lurching into your throat. "I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” he seethed, his voice a low growl that sent shivers down your spine, “Angry? You think you mean enough to me to make me angry?”
His words struck you like a physical blow, a slap to the face. You recoiled instinctively, the weight of his fury bearing down on you. 
"I don't know what I mean to you," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggled to maintain your composure. "I just know that I can't keep doing this."
Rafe's laughter was bitter and mocking, a harsh sound that echoed off the walls of the room.
"Can't keep doing this?" he repeated, his voice laced with derision. "And what, exactly, is 'this'? Fucking? You can’t even say it.”
“You’re being an asshole.”
"An asshole?" he spat, "Is that what you think of me?"
You held his gaze, refusing to back down despite the hurting coursing through your veins. "You're acting like one.”
“Maybank,” His voice was still harsh as he lowered his head to try and meet your eyes. He was close enough that you were able to smell him, "You don't know anything about me, remember? Maybe the fucking really did confuse you.”
“Stop it,” Your voice broke a little, fighting the waterworks that were threatening to run down your cheeks, “Stop making it sound like it meant nothing to you.”
His eyes shut tightly, “Why are you doing this?”
“Because it’s wrong! Rafe—don’t you see it? I can’t do this, not with you of all fucking people, okay?”
He looked down at the carpet, a look of shame falling over his features as he ran a hand over his face, “You knew who I was since the beginning.”
You felt a surge of frustration rising within you, mingling with the anguish that threatened to overwhelm your senses. "Yeah, and every time I look at you now, I see everything that's wrong with me."
“And whose fault is that? Hmm? You said you didn’t want to stop. You wanted it, you wanted me.”
You staggered back, feeling as if the ground beneath your feet was shifting, uncertain, and unsteady.
"I wanted it," Rafe repeated, fingers digging into his chest, his voice raw with emotion, "I wanted you."
The admission hung in the air between you, everything left unsaid. You wanted to reach out to him, hug him as you had just hours ago, but you knew you couldn’t.
“We can’t.”
His eyes were slightly dewy, a somewhat defeated look to his gaze as he walked towards the door.
“Well, congrats Maybank. You won.”
The sound of the door slamming echoed through the room, the finality of it hitting you like a punch to the gut. You stood there, motionless, as the silence enveloped you. The weight of everything that had just transpired pressed down on your shoulders, threatening to crush you.
You sank to the floor, your back against the wall, and the tears came in a torrent. Sobs wracked your body, each one more painful than the last, as the reality of your situation washed over you. You had pushed him away, and hurt him, but what other choice did you have? 
The quiet was almost eerie. 
You couldn't deny that you had felt something for Rafe, something more than just anger and resentment.
But it was twisted, born out of shared trauma and desperation, wasn’t it? Wiping your tear-streaked face with trembling hands, you tried to gather yourself. You still needed to get home. In five days. How the fuck were you going to live in the same room with Rafe for five days after what went down? You couldn’t, you needed the money to pay off the men taking you back home.
You sat on the motel room floor for what felt like hours, the silence pressing in on you.
The weight of your words, of the confrontation, was suffocating. Eventually, exhaustion won out, and you crawled into bed, your mind too restless to allow for more than fitful dozing.
It was around 4 a.m. when the door to the motel room creaked open, startling you awake. You sat up, your heart pounding, straining to see in the dark. The figure that stumbled through the door was unmistakable: Rafe. His movements were unsteady, his clothes disheveled, and the sharp scent of alcohol hit you even from across the room.
“Rafe?”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he leaned heavily against the doorframe, his eyes unfocused. He looked lost.
The anger that had driven him was gone, replaced by a hollow, almost haunted look. You had done that to him. You got out of bed, approaching him cautiously.
“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice tinged with worry.
He finally looked at you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with a mix of pain and regret. “I... I couldn’t stay away,” he slurred, his words thick with the effects of too much alcohol. “I tried, but...”
You sighed, the concern battling within you.
“Rafe, you’re drunk. You need to sit down.”
He let you guide him to the bed, his body heavy and uncooperative. Once he was seated, you grabbed a bottle of water from the small table and handed it to him.
“Drink this,” you instructed.
He took a sip, his hands shaking slightly. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, staring down at the floor. “For everything.”
It was the first time he ever apologized to you. You didn’t know what to say. Part of you wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, but another part of you was still reeling from the emotional whirlwind of the past few days. 
“You need to sleep this off,” you said instead, trying to keep your voice steady.
He nodded but didn’t move. Instead, he reached out, his hand brushing against yours. “I don’t want to be like him,” he confessed, “I can't."
If you allowed him to keep sputtering out his drunken thoughts you would’ve ended up crying your eyes out again, so instead you squeezed his hand, “Let’s just sleep, okay?”
He nodded again, his eyes drifting shut as the exhaustion and alcohol finally took their toll. You helped him lie down, covering him with the sheets. As you laid back down, you watched Rafe’s breathing even out, his face softening in sleep. 
The next few days passed in a blur of tension and silence. That night?
It never happened.
Rafe didn’t spare you a glance from the moment he woke up, choosing to care for his hangover by himself. You and he moved around each other like ghosts, the motel room becoming a prison. You barely slept, the nightmares coming back with a vengeance, leaving you exhausted and on edge.
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw your father, Rafe, or the haunting echoes of your past, blending into a relentless cycle of fear and regret. You knew he’d been having nightmares as well, but you pretended to be asleep every time he woke up, chest heaving. 
He seemed so caught in his torment. You could see it in the way he clenched his jaw, the way his hands would flex into fists and then relax as if he was battling some inner demon. He avoided you, constantly, and when he did speak, his words were clipped and distant. Your shared meals were silent, the clinking of cutlery the only sound breaking the oppressive quiet. 
Even the TV stayed off.
On the fifth night, you lay awake in the dark, listening to the rhythm of Rafe's breathing from the other bed. It was uneven, indicating he was also awake. 
“You’re not gonna end up like him.”
Rafe's breathing hitched, and you could almost feel his eyes on you through the darkness.
"I mean it," you continued, turning slightly to face his silhouette. "You're not your father, Rafe."
He didn't respond immediately, but you sensed a shift in the atmosphere, a subtle change in his posture. Finally, he sighed, the sound heavy and laden with years of unspoken fears and insecurities.
"How can you be so sure?" he murmured, his voice raw.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Because I've seen you. I've seen the parts of you that fight against becoming him. The parts that want to be better. And that matters."
He let out a bitter laugh. "I'm not sure it’s enough.”
“It is.”
“It’s not, Maybank. I’ve done enough damage for a lifetime. It’s the reason why you’re sleeping on the other side of the bed instead of right next to me.”
You wanted to reach out, to reassure him that he wasn’t alone, but you knew it wasn’t that simple. 
“I’m still here,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “And I’m not leaving.”
“You already did.”
Ouch.
Before you could utter a single word, he turned his back to you.
“We’re leaving tomorrow. Sleep.”
“Rafe—”
“Goodnight.”
It took you hours to fall asleep. You lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the events of the past weeks replaying in your mind. You thought of Rafe, of the hurt in his eyes, the way he had looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality. 
The next morning, you didn’t bother much with packing, only shoving the pieces of clothing you’d collected in a backpack. It felt torturous, to be so close to Rafe yet so far away. He didn’t speak a word as he packed his things, his movements stiff and mechanical. You wanted to break the silence, but every time you opened your mouth, the words seemed to stick in your throat. The taxi drive to the port was just as unbearable. You stared out the window, watching the landscape blur past, your mind racing with thoughts of what could have been, what should have been. 
Once you arrived, you and Rafe stepped out, the silence between you as impenetrable as ever. The boat that would take you both back home loomed ahead. He took the lead, heading towards the ticket booth with his shoulders hunched, and you followed, your steps heavy with reluctance.
You were still scared shitless of those men. They were only helping you because at some point Rafe had helped them smuggle drugs into the States, and that did not leave you the least bit reassured over their intentions. 
Finding a spot on the deck, you both settled into a tense silence, the hum of the boat’s engine and the cries of seagulls filling the void between you. The sun was beginning to rise, casting a golden hue over the water, but the beauty of the scene did little to ease the knot of anxiety tightening in your chest.
He leaned against the railing, his gaze fixed on the horizon, his face a mask void of any emotion.
You watched him for a moment, torn between wanting to reach out to him and the fear that doing so would only make things worse.
Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, you cleared your throat. “Rafe,” you began hesitantly, “I—”
Before you could finish, he turned to you, his expression weary. “We don’t have to talk about it,” he said, his voice flat. “Not now.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Okay.”
“Just stay low, stay quiet. My dad got eyes everywhere.”
From the corner of your eye you spotted one of the men. Tall, burly, with a scar running down his cheek. He simply nodded towards the cargo boat and for a minute you’re taken back to your first day stuck with the Cameron’s, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong.
Rafe walked in front of you again, entering the ship, rounding his way through the halls behind the sketchy guy, only stopping when he knocked on a door, after a moment, it swung open to reveal a bald shot man, eyes way too big for his face, which flicked over you and Rafe, a predatory smile curling his lips.
“Well, well, look who decided to show up,” he drawled, his voice laced with mockery. “You’re late.”
“Had some complications,” Rafe replied curtly, his posture tense.
The man’s smile widened. “Complications, huh? Well, come on in”
You followed Rafe inside, your heart racing. The interior of the room was pretty dark, the air thick with the smell of smoke and something you couldn’t quite identify. Nor did you want to. 
“Rafe,” the older man said, his voice cold and commanding. “I was starting to think you’d forgotten about our arrangement.”
“Never,” Rafe replied, his tone clipped. “I brought the money.”
He handed over a thick envelope, and the man behind the desk took it, flipping through the bills with a practiced eye. After a moment, he nodded, satisfied.
“Good,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Now, let’s discuss the other part of our deal.”
Rafe stiffened. “I told you, I’m out. I’m not running anything for you anymore.”
The man’s eyes narrowed, his smile turning dangerous. “I don’t think you understand. You don’t get to just walk away.”
You felt a chill run down your spine as the tension in the room escalated. The man behind the desk stood up, his gaze shifting to you.
“And who’s this?” he asked, his tone menacing.
“No one,” Rafe said quickly. “She has nothing to do with this.”
The man chuckled, a low, sinister sound. “Oh, I think she has everything to do with this.”
He took a step towards you, and instinctively, you backed away, your heart pounding in your chest. Rafe moved to place himself between you and the older man, his jaw clenched.
“Leave her out of this.”
“You see, your daddy dearest called in last night. Told me about a loose piece he had to get rid off…a pretty one. Guess this is her?”
"That's none of your business," Rafe growled, his voice filled with a warning, body still shielding yours.
The older man laughed, the sound grating against your nerves. "Oh, but it is my business, Rafe. You see, your daddy and I, we go way back. And when he asks for a favor, I don't say no."
You felt a surge of terror at his words, your mind racing to find a way out of this situation. "Rafe, we need to go," you whispered urgently, tugging on his arm.
He didn't move, his eyes locked on the man before him. "We're leaving," Rafe said firmly, his voice unwavering. "Now."
The man smirked, his gaze shifting between you and Rafe. "You think you can just walk out of here? You're in deep, Cameron. And now, so is she."
Rafe's jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists. "We're not doing this.”
The older man took a step closer, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent. 
"You have two choices, Rafe. You either do as I say, or she pays the price like Ward asked.”
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear coursing through your veins. You couldn't let Rafe get pulled back into this world, but you also couldn't bear the thought of what might happen if you stayed.
"Rafe, please," you pleaded, your voice trembling.
Rafe’s gaze flicked to you as if he was memorizing your features, from your eyes down to your lips. You could see the gears turning inside his brain and it made you sick to your stomach when he took a deep breath, his eyes hardening with resolve, “Run.”
Before you could process his words, Rafe launched himself at the older man, tackling him to the ground. The suddenness of the movement caught everyone off guard, but you knew you had to act quickly. Heart pounding, you turned and bolted out of the room, dropping your backpack in the process, your footsteps echoing down the dimly lit corridor.
Behind you, you could hear the sounds of struggle—grunts, crashes, and the thud of bodies hitting the floor. You didn’t dare look back, knowing that every second counted. Rafe had told you to run.
The ship's layout was confusing, with identical-looking hallways and doors leading to who-knew-where. You sprinted through the maze of metal and dim lights, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The distant sound of shouting and commotion indicated that the fight was far from over. You turned a corner and collided with one of the burly men from earlier. He grabbed your arm, his grip like a vise.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he snarled.
Panic surged through you, but you fought it down, remembering the self-defense moves Rafe had taught you back at Ward’s island. You stomped on his foot and jabbed your elbow into his ribs, wrenching your arm free as he grunted in pain. Without wasting a second, you continued running, your legs burning with effort.
You burst onto the deck, the cold, salty air hitting you like a slap. The early morning light was just beginning to brighten the horizon, casting long shadows across the deck. You looked around frantically, searching for any means of escape. Your eyes landed on a lifeboat secured to the side of the ship. Without hesitation, you made your way towards it, fumbling with the ropes that held it in place. Your fingers were shaking, but you managed to free the boat. As you were about to lower it into the water, a rough hand grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. It was the man with the scar, his face twisted in anger.
“Going somewhere?” he sneered.
You tried to fight him off, but he was too strong.
Just when you thought all hope was lost, a loud bang echoed across the deck. The man with the scar froze, his grip loosening. You took the opportunity to break free, scrambling away from him.
Rafe stood at the entrance to the deck, a gun in his hand and determination in his eyes. The man with the scar raised his hands slowly, backing away.
“You okay?” Rafe asked, his voice tight with concern.
“I think so.”
“Come here.”
Without thinking, you ran to Rafe, your heart pounding with fear and relief. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and gently pulled you back, his eyes searching yours to make sure you were okay, but before you could assure him you were fine, he kissed you. His lips pressed firmly against yours, and you felt his tongue gently parting your lips, exploring with a tenderness that made your knees weak. It felt so…real, it nearly brought you to your knees. As cheesy as it sounded, it felt like time stood still for you, the rest of the world ceasing to exist. 
Until reality broke you again.
Rafe's body tensed suddenly. You heard a muffled sound, like a distant pop, but it took a moment for your mind to register what had happened. His grip on you loosened, and he staggered, his breath hitching in pain.
No, no, no, no.
"Rafe?” You caught him as he fell to his knees, eyes darting around, searching for the source of the shot. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head as you watched a showdown between the so-called human traffickers and the fucking police. This had to be a fucking nightmare, no way, were you getting caught in a crossfire. 
Rafe clutched his side, blood seeping through his fingers, staining his white shirt. His face was scarily pale, and he struggled to stay upright.
"You need to...get out of here," he managed to say, his voice strained, “Right now.”
“I’m not leaving you, you fuckin—Shit, Rafe. Fuck!” You looked around frantically, your heart pounding in your chest. The island, which had seemed like a safe haven moments ago, now felt like a trap. "Can you walk?" you asked, trying to keep the panic from your voice.
“Does it look like I can walk, pretty Maybank?”
A sob broke through you, “Don’t try to be fucking funny, you got shot!”
“Baby, you—“ he coughed, blood seeping through his teeth, "You gotta go home.”
"Stop talking!" you repeated, your voice trembling with desperation. You looked around again, trying to find a way out, a way to save him, anything. But the chaos around you was overwhelming. The police and the traffickers were engaged in a fierce shootout, bullets whizzing through the air, ricocheting off metal, and splintering wood.
Rafe's hand tightened weakly around yours.
"Listen to me," he said, his voice just a whisper. "You have to...Go gome."
Tears streamed down your face as you shook your head. "I can't leave you here."
You knew you had to move, had to find help, but leaving him there felt like tearing your heart out. As you turned to peek around one final time, you heard a shout from behind you. "Freeze!" a police officer yelled, his gun trained on you.
You stopped, your hands raised, your mind racing. "Please, help him," you begged, pointing to Rafe. "He's been shot."
The officer's eyes flicked to Rafe, then back to you. "We need to secure the area first," he said, his tone firm but not unkind.
"Please," you repeated, your voice breaking. "He's dying."
The officer hesitated, then spoke into his radio. "Officer down, need medical assistance immediately."
Another officer approached, his gun drawn, and you saw his gaze soften as he took in Rafe's condition. "We'll get him help," he assured you, "but we need to get you out of here safely."
“I’m not leaving without him,” You made the mistake to glance back one last time, your heart breaking as you saw Rafe's eyes close, his body slumping against the ground, “No, no, no! Keep your eyes open, I swear to god—” Your hands trembled as you tried to staunch the flow of blood with your already stained clothing, "Stay with me," you pleaded, your voice cracking. 
His eyes fluttered open briefly, a weak smile touching his lips.
"You... have to... go," he whispered, his breath coming in shallow gasps, "Go."
Before you could respond, you felt strong hands grip your shoulders, pulling you back. "We need to get you to safety," one of the officers said firmly, trying to drag you away from Rafe.
"No! Let me go! I can't leave him!" you screamed, fighting against their hold.
"Ma'am, we need to get you out of the line of fire," the officer insisted, his grip tightening as he pulled you to your feet.
Through your tears, you saw more officers surrounding Rafe, their voices urgent as they called for medical assistance. You watched helplessly as they began to administer first aid, their movements efficient but hurried. As the officers dragged you away against your will, your eyes never left Rafe. 
You struggled against their hold, but their grip was unyielding. "Please, don't let him die," you sobbed, your voice breaking with despair.
"We're doing everything we can," one of the officers reassured you, guiding you towards the edge of the deck where a police boat was waiting.
You stumbled, your legs weak with fear and exhaustion, but the officers held you steady. As you were helped onto the police boat, you turned back one last time, your heart breaking at the sight of Rafe lying on the deck, surrounded by officers and paramedics. You clutched the railing, your knuckles white, as the boat pulled away from the ship, the distance between you and Rafe growing with each passing second.
The journey back to shore was a blur of sirens, flashing lights, and the distant sound of helicopter blades cutting through the air. The police officers tried to reassure you, but their words were lost in the whirlwind of your thoughts.
When the boat finally docked, you were met by a flurry of activity. Paramedics rushed forward, checking you for injuries, while police officers asked you questions about what had happened. You answered them mechanically, your mind still focused on Rafe, praying that he would survive. Hours seemed to pass in a haze of questions, medical checks, and statements. You told them everything. Finally, you were allowed to sit down, your body heavy with exhaustion. A police officer approached you, his expression kind but serious.
"Rafe Cameron is being taken to the hospital," he said gently. "He's in critical condition, but the paramedics are doing everything they can."
You nodded numbly, the weight of his words pressing down on you. "Can I see him?"
“’No visitors will be allowed, kid. We checked your backgrounds. If he survives, he’ll be taken into custody, his father is Ward Cameron, the feds are going to need him.”
You nearly threw up at how easily he said, “if he survives”. There couldn’t be no fucking ifs, he wasn’t dying. Not like this. Not after everything. 
Your knees buckled, and you had to sit down, the reality of the situation pressing down on you like a ton of bricks. The officer helped you to a bench, his face sympathetic but firm. “I understand this is hard, but we need to follow protocol. He’s a key witness and suspect in multiple ongoing investigations.”
You nodded, your mind barely processing his words. The world felt distant, and surreal. “Can I at least know which hospital?”
The officer hesitated for a moment, then relented. “St. Michael’s. But you won’t be allowed to call until we clear things with the authorities.”
“Call? I want to visit.”
He sighed, taking a seat next to you, “Kid. I’m really sorry, but you won’t be here. You’re a kidnapping victim and there’s a direct order to take you back home, you’ve been reported missing for over a month now.”
Your mind reeled, struggling to process the officer's words. Missing? For over a month? It felt like a lifetime and no time at all had passed since you'd been caught up in this nightmare.
"I can't leave him," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. "Not like this."
The officer's expression softened. "I understand, but this is out of my hands. We need to get you back to your family. They'll be worried sick."
What family?
You wanted to shout in his face. JJ was still missing for all you knew and Luke hadn't stepped foot home in months. You felt a surge of helplessness.
“I can't just leave him."
The officer looked taken aback but remained resolute. "We're going to get you home safely. You'll be able to follow up on Rafe's condition, but right now, you need to come with us."
The officer stood up, motioning for you to follow. Reluctantly, you got to your feet, every step feeling like a betrayal to Rafe.
As you were led out of the police station and into a waiting car, your mind raced with thoughts of him , lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life, by himself. You couldn't bear the thought of him waking up alone, without knowing that you were there for him.
If he ever woke up.
597 notes · View notes
mariclerc · 2 days ago
Text
Falling for you (pt.4) | cl16
Summary: thanks to a debt owed by your father you have to marry the boss of the mafia.
Warning: mafia au, fluff, 5 years age gap, insecure reader, mafia boss!Charles and a bit of suggestive content.
Part 1, part 2, part 3
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After what happened at the casino that night, you and Charles returned to Tuscany and everything was going on as usual - he with his sweet gestures towards you, divine food and barefoot walks in the villa's garden. But, putting that aside, you feel a slight emptiness in your chest.
What happened with your father doesn't hurt you in the slightest, because it's what someone like him deserved a long time ago, but something that is not so easy to forget is the constant humiliation and hurtful words about your physique that he said to you almost daily when you were still living with him, months before you married Charles.
Right now you're standing in front of a large, ornate mirror, your reflection staring back at you. You're wearing a simple pink silk nightgown, the thin fabric clinging to your small frame. A sigh escapes from your lips as you critically examines your reflection, just like your father would do to you daily.
You're petite, with curves that don’t quite fit the stereotypical model image... Your thighs are thick, your breasts small, and the words your father had spat at you in the casino echo in your mind every single day since that night, a cruel reminder of his constant criticism of your appearance.
“He’s probably wondering why he’s stuck with someone so damaged like me.” you whispered softly to yourself.
A pair of strong arms wrap around your waist from behind, pulling your back against a warm, solid chest. Charles’ familiar scent of sandalwood and aftershave fill your senses.
“Stuck with you? Oh, cara mia, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” (my darling)
He rests his chin on your shoulder, his warm breath tickling your ear. You shivered involuntarily, a mixture of nervousness and pleasure coursing through your veins.
You turned slightly in his embrace. “You don’t have to say that, Charles...”
“Oh, but I have to, tesoro.”
He gently turned you around to face him, his hands cupping your face. His gaze is intense, filled with a warmth that melts some of the ice around your heart.
“You’re beautiful, y/n. Absolutely stunning!” he whispers softly.
He traces the curve of your cheek with his thumb, his touch sending a shiver down your spine... You blushed under his gaze, your shyness battling with the unfamiliar flicker of desire you feel in his presence.
You looked down at your feet. “I’m not… I’m not like the other women you… you’ve been with.”
He chuckled softly. “Other women? They’re just… shadows. You’re the real thing, piccolina, you’re the sun, the moon, the stars… all rolled into one person.” (little one)
He gently lifts your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. “These thighs…” he runs his hands along your thighs, his touch sending a wave of heat through your body. “…they’re perfect for holding onto, and these breasts…” he gently cups your breasts in his hands, his touch is surprisingly tender. “…they’re perfect for… well, for everything.”
He leans in and kisses you softly, a slow, lingering kiss that makes your head spin. When he pulls back, your eyes are wide with surprise and a flicker of something more.
“You’re perfect, y/n. Every inch of you! And I want to show you just how beautiful and sexy you are in my eyes.”
He pulled you close again, his arms wrapping around your waist. You rest your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart a comforting rhythm against your ear. The insecurities that had plagued you moments before begin to fade, replaced by the warmth of his embrace and the sincerity in his voice. You're still shy, still uncertain, but a flicker of hope begins to ignite within you.
He whispers against your hair. “My sweet little melody… my delicious temptation…” he kisses the top of your head. “So precious and exquisite.”
He continues to murmur sweet and sexy nicknames against your skin, each one sending a fresh wave of heat through your body. His hands gently caress and worship your body, slowly chipping away at your shyness and insecurities and replacing it with a growing sense of desire.
The Tuscan sun streams through the window, illuminating the room and casting a golden glow on your intertwined bodies, the morning stretches before you two, full of promise and the intoxicating possibility of something more.
You and Charles and surrender to the rising tide of passion. His touch, initially hesitant and exploratory, becomes more assured, more possessive, yet remains infused with a tenderness that melts away your remaining inhibitions. He kisses you deeply, his lips moving against yours with a slow, deliberate rhythm that sets your senses ablaze.
He lifts you gently, carrying you as if you weighs nothing, and lays you down on the plush bed. The soft silk sheets cool against your heated skin, he leans over you, his eyes burning with a mixture of desire and adoration. He continues to kiss you, his lips trailing down your neck, across your collarbone, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.
He whispers against your skin. “You’re so beautiful, tesoro. So perfect for me.”
His words are a balm to your soul, erasing years of insecurity and self-doubt. You arched your back, your body instinctively responding to his touch, the unfamiliar sensations both exhilarating and slightly overwhelming. This is the first time that you surrender completely to someone, and the feeling is exciting.
Your voice is breathy, almost like a sigh. “Charles… it… it feels…” you struggled to find the words to describe the sensations that are coursing through your body, the warmth that is spreading from your core outwards, the fuzzy, almost dreamlike feeling that is enveloping you.
He smiled softly, understanding in his eyes. “I know, cara, I know... Just let go, let me take care of you.”
He continues to touch you, his hands exploring the curves and valleys of your body with a reverence that makes you feel cherished and adored. His touch is gentle, yet firm, igniting a fire within you that you never knew existed. The pleasure builds slowly, steadily, like a crescendo of music, each touch, each kiss, each whispered word adding to the symphony of sensations.
Your voice is soft, almost a moan. “Charlie... It… it feels so good.” you closed your eyes, surrendering to the wave of pleasure that washes over you. You'd never felt anything like this before, this intoxicating blend of tenderness and passion, this feeling of being completely and utterly connected to another human being.
Charles whispered against your ear. “That’s my girl. Just relax baby, let it go.”
He continues to move against you, his rhythm slow and deliberate, building the tension, drawing you closer and closer to the edge. You clinged to him, your fingers digging into his back, your body arching against his. The world outside fades away, replaced by the intoxicating sensations of his touch, the warmth of his body, the sound of his heart beating against your ear.
He watches you closely, his eyes filled with a mixture of passion and tenderness, making sure that you're okay, making sure you're enjoying every moment. He murmurs words of encouragement and reassurance, his voice a soothing balm against the rising tide of pleasure.
“You’re doing so well, tesoro. So beautiful, so perfect.”
His words fuel the fire within you, pushing you closer and closer to the precipice. The pleasure intensifies, building to an almost unbearable crescendo. You cried out his name, your voice a mixture of pleasure and surrender, as you're swept away by the wave of ecstasy that washes over you.
In the aftermath, you two lie tangled together, your bodies still intertwined, your breaths coming in ragged gasps. The Tuscan sun continues to stream through the window, bathing the room in a warm, golden light. You rest your head against his chest, the steady beat of his heart a comforting rhythm against your ear. You've never felt so vulnerable, so exposed, yet so safe, so loved, so completely and utterly cherished.
The sheets are tangled around you two, a silent testament to the passion you’ve just shared. You take a deep breath, the air still thick with the scent of arousal and something sweeter, something akin to intimacy.
A wave of emotion washes over you – relief, wonder, and a profound sense of gratitude. A single tear escapes the corner of your eye and traces a path down your cheek.
You speak, your voice barely a whisper, thick with emotion. “I… I can’t believe I... I finally…”
You trail off, the words catching in your throat, the years of your father’s harsh criticisms, his constant belittling of your appearance and worth, and the things he forced you to do had left deep scars inside. The fear of inadequacy, the belief that you wasn't good enough, had haunted you for so long... But in Charles’ arms, in the aftermath of your shared intimacy, those insecurities begin to dissolve, replaced by a nascent sense of self-acceptance and a burgeoning confidence.
He tightens his arms around your waist, his touch reassuring and protective. “Shhh, amore. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you were… magnificent.” he gently brushes away the tear that lingers on your cheek, his thumb caressing your skin with infinite tenderness. (love) “My little vixen… you set my soul on fire.”
He leans down and kisses your forehead, a soft, lingering kiss that speaks volumes. He then trails kisses down your temple, along your jawline, to the sensitive skin behind your ear.
He nips playfully at your earlobe, sending a shiver down your spine. You giggled softly, the sound muffled against his chest. The tension from earlier has completely dissipated, replaced by a comfortable warmth and a playful intimacy.
He kisses your neck, his lips lingering on the pulse point at the base of your throat. You arched your back instinctively, your body still humming with the aftershocks of your shared passion.
The ghosts of your past begin to recede, replaced by the promise of a future filled with warmth, acceptance, and the intoxicating knowledge that in Charles’ eyes, you're not only beautiful, but cherished, adored, and desired beyond measure.
***
The Tuscan sun streams through the kitchen window, illuminating the vibrant colors of the fresh produce scattered across the countertop. You are humming softly to yourself as you moved gracefully around the kitchen, a vibrant sundress swirling around your legs. The dress, a cheerful yellow with delicate white floral patterns, accentuates your figure, clinging to your curves in all the right places. The air is filled with the tantalizing aroma of simmering tomatoes, garlic, and basil – the promise of a delicious homemade pasta sauce. A couple of days have passed since that first intimate encounter between you and Charles, which has practically been a before and after in the lives of both of you, and insecurities no longer torment your thoughts as usual.
Charles enters the kitchen, his arms laden with fresh herbs gathered from the garden. Rosemary, thyme, oregano – their fragrant leaves release their intoxicating scent as he brushes past them. He stops dead in his tracks, his gaze fixed on you, the sunlight catches the golden highlights in your hair, making it shimmer like spun silk. The sundress, so vibrant and alive, accentuates the gentle curve of your hips, the subtle swell of your breasts, the elegant line of your neck. He stands there for a moment, captivated, his breath catching in his throat.
His voice husky, almost a whisper. “Dio mio… you’re breathtaking amour.” (my god) (love)
He sets the herbs down on the counter, his eyes never leaving the sight of you. He walks towards you slowly, his gaze intense, almost reverent... He reaches out and gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering on your cheek for a moment.
“That dress… it’s… it’s a crime against humanity... It’s too distractingly beautiful.” he leaned in, his breath warm against your ear, and inhales the scent of your perfume, a delicate blend of floral scent and citrus, mingled with the aroma of the simmering sauce. “You smell delicious. Almost as delicious as you look.”
He pulls back slightly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. You blushed under his gaze, a mixture of pleasure and shyness warming your cheeks.
You smiled softly. “You’re just saying that.”
He shakes his head, his gaze unwavering. “No, tesoro. I mean every word, you’re… radiant... Like the Tuscan sun itself.” he reaches out and gently traces the curve of your jawline with his thumb, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. “I can’t take my eyes off you. It’s like… like you’re a work of art... A masterpiece.”
He leans in and kisses you softly, a slow, lingering kiss that speaks volumes. The taste of you, sweet and intoxicating, mingles with the savory scent of the sauce, creating a heady mix that makes him dizzy with desire.
He pulls back slightly, his voice husky. “I’m going to have to taste you later... Along with that pasta sauce, of course.”
He winks, and you laughed while blushing, a genuine, carefree laugh that fills the kitchen with warmth and joy... The tension from the previous days, the lingering insecurities, they all seem to melt away under the heat of his gaze, replaced by a growing sense of confidence and a deep, abiding love.
You smiled playfully. “You’ll have to wait your turn, Mr. Leclerc... Dinner first, dessert later.”
You turned back to the stove, your heart fluttering with happiness. The rich aroma of your pasta sauce fills the Tuscan villa, mingling with the sweet scent of the herbs Charles has carefully chopped and added to the simmering pot. You two work together in the kitchen, a comfortable silence punctuated by the occasional playful banter and stolen kisses. The initial awkwardness of your arranged marriage has faded, replaced by an easy intimacy that feels both surprising and utterly natural.
As the sauce simmers, Charles pulls you close, his arms wrapping around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder, inhaling the scent of your hair.
“You know, cara, I never thought I’d find happiness like this.” his voice is soft, almost vulnerable. You turned in his embrace, your eyes searching his.
“What do you mean?” you asked him softly.
“Before you… life was, well… different. A whirlwind of parties, fleeting encounters. It was… empty, meaningless.” he gently cups your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. “But you… you’ve filled that emptiness with something… real... Something… beautiful.”
He leans in and kisses you softly again, a slow, lingering kiss that speaks volumes. When he pulls back, your eyes are shining with unshed tears.
“I feel it too, Charles. I never thought… after everything… that I could ever feel this way.”
The “everything” hangs in the air, a silent acknowledgment of the years of emotional abuse you endured at the hands of your father, Charles’ eyes soften with understanding. He pulls you close, holding you tight against his chest.
“You deserve to be happy, tesoro. You deserve to be loved. And I promise you, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me.”
He kisses you again, this time with a fierceness that takes your breath away. The kiss is a promise, a vow, a declaration of the love that is blossoming between you two, a love born not of obligation, but of genuine connection and mutual respect.
The forced marriage, the initial awkwardness, the lingering insecurities – they all seem to fade into insignificance, replaced by a sense of belonging, a sense of peace, a sense of coming home. You looked at Charles, his face illuminated by the flickering candlelight, and a smile spreads across your face. This man, this mafia boss with his dangerous charm and unexpected tenderness, has become your sanctuary, your safe haven, your home.
***
Inside your shared bedroom, bathed in the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the sheer curtains, you and Charles prepare for the night. The remnants of the day’s laughter and shared intimacy linger in the air, creating an atmosphere of comfortable warmth and quiet affection.
Charles is sitting on the bed as he watches you brushing your hair, the moonlight catching the golden highlights and turning them into shimmering strands of silk. The simple act, so mundane yet so intimate, fills him with a sense of contentment he’s never known before. He walks over to you and gently takes the brush from your hand, his fingers brushing against yours. And then he started to brush your hair, his touch slow and deliberate, each stroke a silent expression of his love for you.
His voice soft, almost a whisper. “Your hair is like spun gold, tesoro.”
You lean into his touch, your eyes closing as you savor the feeling of his fingers against your scalp. The simple act of him brushing your hair feels incredibly intimate, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that has grown between you two.
“You’re spoiling me Charlie.” you say softly with a shy smile.
“Only the best for my beautiful piccolina.” he chuckled softly.
He finishes brushing your hair and gently places a kiss on the top of your head. He then pulls you close, his arms wrapping around your waist. You two stand there for a moment, embraced in the soft moonlight, the silence filled with unspoken emotions.
His voice husky, filled with longing. “I can’t get enough of you, mon bébé.” (my baby)
He leans down and kisses you, is a slow, deep kiss that speaks of passion and tenderness, of vulnerability and trust. You responded in kind, your arms winding around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss deepens, becoming more urgent, more demanding, a reflection of the desire that burns between the two of you.
You suddenly break apart, breathless, your eyes locked in a silent conversation. He lead you towards the bed, your hands intertwined. And you two undress slowly, each touch, each glance, charged with anticipation. As you lie down together, the soft sheets cool against your heated skin, he pulls you close, his body molding perfectly against yours.
The night unfolds in a slow, languid dance of love and intimacy. Your shared whispers mingle with the soft sounds of your lovemaking, creating a symphony of shared pleasure and deepening connection. The moonlight continues to bathe the room in its soft glow, a silent witness to the blossoming love that is transforming your lives.
In each other's arms, you have found solace, comfort, and a sense of belonging you’ve never known before. The arranged marriage, once a symbol of obligation and duty, has become a sanctuary, a safe haven, a testament to the unexpected power of love to heal and transform.
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archiveikemen · 2 days ago
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"Chaotic Night" Collection Event: Bonus Story
Ring Schwartz
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This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games.
Read this before interacting
creds. to nagi for sending me the story ♡
Due to the effects of an extract derived from Queen of The Night flowers, the Cursed Ones had a change in appearance.
Amidst all that, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me into an empty room.
The moment I entered the room, I frantically looked around to see the identity of that person. He was none other than—
Kate: Ring…? 
The uncertainty in my voice was because he looked different from usual. 
Ring had a pair of animal ears on his head, and a beautiful tail on his bottom. 
On top of that, those eyes that were usually calm and the colour of a water’s surface were dyed red. 
Ring: Um… sorry for dragging you along without explanation. 
Despite the change in eye colour, the intensity of his gaze remained the same. 
Under that gaze, even though I wasn’t guilty of anything, I felt flustered. 
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Ring: But in order to protect, there was no other way. 
Kate: To protect…? 
Ring: To protect Nica and Dari, I had to take you away.
(... Ah, it's those two from Vogel.) 
It was embarrassing that for a moment, I thought he meant that he was trying to protect me. 
Ring: It’ll be trouble if something were to happen to you from going near Nica and Dari who are acting weird now. 
Kate: “Something”...? 
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Ring: Y-you want me to say it…!? It’s, you know, that sort of erotic thing…! 
(Erotic thing…) 
Kate: Uhh… even if you weren't concerned about that, I would never do such a thing to those two, you know?
Kate: Besides, I’m worried about everyone who had their appearances changed, so I want to head back… 
Ring: S-stuff like being worried… y-you’re always so casually saying such adorable things… 
Ring: It’s just as I thought… even if you don’t have that sort of intention, just being near you is dangerous. 
Ring: Doesn't matter how you think. I can't allow you near them. 
Kate: But if you do this… won’t you be in danger yourself for being closed in the same room as me? 
Ring: That’s not a problem at all. 
Kate: … Why so? 
Ring: Even if I get seduced by you, I don’t know how to—... 
Ring: A-anyway! It just won’t be a problem! 
Kate: W-wha…
Ring: Whatever it is, I won’t allow you to appear before Nica and Dari until this whole situation resolves. 
Ring: You MUST remain where my eyes can see you. Got it? 
While saying that, Ring went to sit in front of the door like he was going to physically block me from leaving the room. 
(Looks like it’ll be hard to talk him out of this.) 
(But I don't want to sit here idling while Ring keeps an eye on me…) 
(What can I do in this situation… oh, right!) 
Kate: Ring. If you don't mind, can I examine you?
Ring: Examine me…? 
Kate: Roger said that there are still many things unknown about the Queen of The Night flower. 
Kate: So I’m thinking that if I examine someone who went through the change, it’ll be helpful for the other Cursed Ones… 
Ring: Helpful for Cursed Ones… in that case, being cooperative temporarily shouldn't be a problem… I think. 
Ring: … Got it. I don’t mind if it’s myself you’re examining. 
Kate: Thank you so much! Can I start with touching the places that changed? 
Ring: These ears and tail? Well, those aren’t any weird parts so it should be fine… 
Kate: Okay then. Pardon me.
I touched the pair of animal ears on Ring’s head. 
Kate: The fur is thin and soft… very much like Ale’s ears. These are dog ears. 
Ring: I- I see… 
Kate: Can you sense it when I touch them? 
Ring: … Yes. 
(So they have sensory functions and aren’t purely ornamental. In that case…) 
I moved closer to Ring’s dog ears and whispered.
Kate: Can you hear me…? 
Ring: Uwagh! D-don’t whisper in my ear all of a sudden…! 
Kate: I-I’m sorry! I thought I’d examine if you could hear through them… 
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Ring: N-no, it'd be fine i-if you told me beforehand… I was just a little surprised… 
Ring: Uhh… I could hear your voice through the ears. … You can continue examining. 
Seeing how frightened Ring was, I figured that continuing with the examination would cause him distress. 
In the corner of my eye, I noticed something shaking. 
(... Hm?) 
I took a better look at it and saw that Ring’s tail was wagging vigorously.
(Tail wagging is what a dog does when it’s happy, right?) 
(Could it be… whispering in Ring’s ear made him happy…?) 
Ring: … Robin? 
Ring tilted his head and stared at me as I stood there deep in thought. At the same time, his tail kept on wagging non-stop. 
(Maybe Ring didn’t notice it himself… I’ll give it another try.) 
My initial plan was to do a proper examination, but my curiosity and mischief got the better of me. 
Kate: I whispered into your right ear earlier, so I’ll try it on the left ear this time.
Ring: Y-yeah… sure.
I moved to his other side from behind and gently put my lips close to Ring’s left dog ear. 
Kate: … Ring.
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Ring: UWAH…! 
The instant I whispered into it, Ring jumped back in surprise. 
Kate: A-are you okay? 
Ring: My ears aren’t okay… my dog ears… did they melt? 
Kate: Melt…? No, they look the same as before. 
(... Only that his tail is now wagging even harder.)
Ring still didn’t notice his tail wagging faster than one’s eyes could catch. 
It looked exactly like Ale getting a tasty snack. 
Ring: Hearing your voice and feeling your slight breath against my ear… felt like my ear was going to melt off… 
Ring’s face was bright red as he covered the dog ears with his palms. 
(As I thought, the ears are sensitive… although it's for the purpose of examining this strange phenomenon, I ended up doing something naughty.) 
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Ring: …
Ring: sigh… you’re sly indeed.
Kate: Huh…? 
Ring: It’s unfair that I’m the only one feeling embarrassed here. 
Ring: … Can I touch your ears too? 
Kate: My ears…? 
I was surprised by the unexpected question, and he gently touched my ears with his fingertips. 
Kate: …! 
Ring: Even your ears… are small and soft… cute… 
Kate: I-I don’t think my ears are cute or anything like that…
Ring: That’s what I’d been thinking until now. … But everything about you is cute. 
He only touched my ears, but Ring was staring so fervently at me… 
I felt loved all over, not just my ears. 
(T-this is embarrassing…) 
It got too awkward and I tried to avert my gaze, but… 
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Ring: … What are you looking at apart from me? 
Ring: I’m the sole other person here, so you’ll look only at me. 
Kate: … 
Hearing his plea in that heartrending voice, I could no longer take my eyes off him. 
(Besides… his tail was now wagging really hard.) 
Kate: U-umm… did you really enjoy it that much? 
Ring: … E-e-en-enjoy!? 
Kate: You were wagging your tail so much while touching my ears… I’m not sure if you have a thing for ears or… 
Ring: I-I don’t especially like ears… 
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Ring: Or should I say, what was that about my tail—...!? 
Ring finally noticed just how hard his tail was wagging. 
Ring: Ahh, t-that’s not…! It… it’s just shaking on its own…! 
He tightly grabbed the base of the tail in an effort to stop it, but it was fruitless. 
Ring: Ggh…! You ARE dangerous after all! This is my own body, and yet it’s not listening to me…! 
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
Darius’ Voice: Ring, I heard a voice… are you in there? I’m coming in. 
Darius: Here you are, Ring. Miss Fairytale Keeper is here too. 
Ring: Dari, no! Her eyes are dangerous! 
Darius: … What do you mean? 
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Ring: If you look into them, you’ll get sucked in and your tail will start wagging— whatever, it’s just dangerous! 
Darius: I don’t feel anything at all. Aren't you the only one getting spellbound by her, Ring? 
Ring: W-what do you mean spellbound…! 
Darius: Either way, you shouldn't be alone with her if she makes you feel uneasy…
Darius: Wouldn’t it be better to stay somewhere everyone can keep an eye on her? 
Ring: T-that’s… 
Darius: … You see, Ring. I’m concerned about you the same way you are about me. 
Darius: That’s because we’re family, isn’t it? 
Ring: … Yeah. 
Darius: Come on, let's go. Nica’s waiting for us. 
Ring, who was led out of the room by Darius, looked at me as though he had something to say… but he left without a word in the end. 
His tail, which had been wagging energetically just a moment ago, was now hanging limply. 
(Like a dog feeling lonely after being separated from its owner…) 
(... No, no, no. If I have to put it that way, wouldn't Ring’s owner be Darius?) 
(Stuff about feeling lonely after being separated from me… it must be a misunderstanding.) 
= Flashback Start =
Darius: Under the effects of the flower, just like on the night of the Queen of The Night flower, our sins are heightened.
Darius: … Ring’s sin is “jealousy”. 
Darius: So even if Ring’s words and actions come off as suggestive today… it’s because unlike ordinary people such as yourself, we’re Cursed Ones. 
Darius: Don’t get the wrong idea, Miss Fairytale Keeper. 
Kate: U-understood…
= Flashback End =
(It was indeed as Darius said. Ring only touched me because of his curse’s sin…) 
(But…) 
On this night when everything was turned into chaos due to the Queen of The Night flower, my feelings aren't influenced by anything because I’m not cursed.
So that means… my heart racing because of Ring’s honest gaze and his hot fingertips touching my ears— were undeniably real, even on this chaotic night. 
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lifeonmarz-blog · 15 hours ago
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Every planet in the 12th: Observations
The 12th house shows you in which ways you can leave the biggest impact on the world in the purest most intentional way if you so choose.
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*I didn't feel like proof reading spare me*
sun in the 12th often misperceived or seen as having underlining motives even when that is furthest from the truth. Actually quite often upfront with their intentions regardless if they know more than they've led you to believe. The projection others put on them is veryyy high, sun person unconsciously triggering deep seated wounds in others while they just assume they’re having a normal conversation. They either love gossip or are always being brought up in gossip. Attracting secret admirers bc of the taboo aspect of their personality. They teach others how to be themselves through example and that gives them the popular loner vibe, everyone wants to know whats going on in their life. Though Its often not as interesting as the stories that are being created about them (probably at home chilling). Unintentionally very funny their light hearted nature makes others feel comfortable. They know how to create warm welcomes. They can read animals minds. They dress how they feel. Escape artist. Probably through music, film or imagination. Gift for photography.
moon in 12th romantic relationships have a big influence on these people. They'll change their whole life around to fit into their lovers life for better or worse. Naturally harmonious these people are seemingly unsuspecting until you piss them off then you realize they just choose to keep peace. Prone to escapism usually through some sort of creative pursuit turned business. Obviously not forward with their feelings ppl tend to label them as having their head in the clouds when in reality they have plans its just nobody else's business. There's a love/resentful relationship with the mother. The mother could've been a physical provider but not emotional. These ppl had to nurture and comfort themselves and it made them very good at being those things for others. Children and animals loveeeee them. They are givers and don't mind sharing for the greater good. Dependable and persistent they can stick out something they feel is important. But if they don't care... Oh its very obvious. That job they don't like? Oh don't even worry about it they'll quit. They don't like feeling stressed or unharmonious and don't mind removing anything thats trying to hinder that. In the lower natures this creates a person that ignores anything that would make them have to readjust their behavior. Extremely delusional and misreads the room quite often. Very emotional changing how they feel about you frequently. It can become hard to give and receive trust.
Mars in the 12th manifest things/experiences so easy especially through their connections. They know how to put themselves in the right rooms with the right people. They date people that improve their social standing and they do the same in return. When its comes to career they could've seemed like the runt in the group but they grew themselves to be well respected in their field. Often hearing ''you only got this because''. They attract a lot of haters jealous of their success or the way they got their success. these people are attractive and naturally have a body others envy, they always have options and good ones at that.
Venus in 12th boy oh boy the hopeless romantics, but whats so hopeless about it? Others may often wonder why you picked the person you did viewing you as opposites. There may be an age gap or cultural difference. The women often choose partners that have a different social standing or perception than their own. The Men do the same though their more willing to be in relationships with unrequited love. Have had their fair share of infidelity issues until they found the person that would ride or die for them and vise versa. Privacy and trust are high priority for these people. Very good at socializing they know how to read what is needed to improve the energy of a space. Their parties/hostings are always so inviting and rememberable. They work very well with children and animals. Especially those in need. Fostering is something they wouldn't mind doing, along with nursing things back to health. Examples hair, nails. Plants etc. Very crafty they'd create beautiful jewelry and clothing. Their style is unique and acquired taste even. Controlling an image or narrative comes natural these Pol could do damage control for celebrities. When Ppl are in a frantic state they know how to calm assist.
Mercury in 12th are good at controlling the narratives around themselves. People hand on to every word that's said. These are the types that prefer to talk when necessary and not give out to much information. Just enough to keep you hooked. They have a unique sound and are musically inclined it helps that they think outside of the box. Usually the leader of the group because of their ability to see the broader picture and keep everyones best interest at heart. They attract haters bc they set high goals for themselves they get viewed as outlandish or unpractical when actually they just believe in themselves and remain optimistic. They know alot about very specific niche things.
Jupiter in the 12th don't get the credit they deserve for being so iconic. They really are trendsetters that break molds and stereotypes and tend receive backlash for the things they say & do simply because they were the first to do it. Opening up the pathway for others to show up more authentically and protected. They have big expression and are passionate about the things they choose to do. Their not afraid to speak their truth and having a forgiving nature. Creative pursuits are well received by the public attracting sponsors easily. Its also easy for them to find/create a community ppl reall gravitate to them. Their kryptonite lies in their self esteem. If they can't face rejection they'll hide the best parts of themselves. Only seeing the beauty in others and not what they offer the world.
Saturn in the 12th need to know when to stop while their ahead. They get into unnecessary battles bc of a fragile or inflated ego. When the ego is healthy this makes for a very powerful person that commands rooms with ease. They make Pol want to sit up in their chair when they walk in. These Pol are stubborn but more often than not it works out in their favor. Very hard workers and the same energy they apply is expected from those around them. If they put in 80 hrs a week they expect the same from you, if I can do it why can't you mentality. They achieve alot and Ppl notice it but its like no one ever sees them working they just see the finished product and know a lot had to be done behind the scenes. For example let's say someone is very popular you know they would've had to built those relationships you just didn't see it happen. They could have a guilt complex about their achievements and feel like theirs still more they should be doing for other ppl. Growing up as the star, the golden child, the one thats going to help the family put a lot of pressure and responsibility on them. This could've also affected the relationship between the others siblings. Lastly these Ppl are either very serious about punctuality or show up whenever they want to. Maybe even both they could've started out one way and over time became another way. When saturn is damaged they run from responsibility and are viewed as childish and never learning from their lessons.
Neptune in the 12th know how to win over the audience. I chose the word audience bc they love an audience. Ppl will make excuses for their behavior like ''you know they had a rough childhood'' as if that excuses hurting others. Professional sympathy grabbers even when their not even trying and great ass kissers when they want to be. That is in neptunes lower natures ofc. These ppl speak their mind without a fuck given. This is like the only pile im cursing in and that kind of explains them. Their going to say what they want and don't mind shaking the room up. Image is important to them. They'll study their own footage to see what they looked like, sounded like, acted like, and change anything they deem as not fitting. They could be great actors or social media personalities. Also would be good at managing social media accounts. These ppl may be easily persuaded especially by those they view as having a higher social ranking than themselves. Knowing how to adapt to any environment is their strong suit. They act as a mirror in their environment and reflect back whatever energy you give them. To a T at that. They know when to play it up or be more lowkey. This is type of person to always leave lasting impressions on ppl. They could be the first in a taboo field to achieve something. Like being the first pornstar to get 100 million views. Its like when you think you have them figured out they do something else that shows there's many other sides to them. Often hearing ''i didnt think I would like you at first''. With a great sense of humor they know how to laugh at themselves and lighten the mood they don't take life to seriously. They attract a lot of unique ppl their friend group is very expansive. They could be friends with a stripper and an attorney. Hell they might've been a stripper and an attorney.
Uranus in the 12th they just pop up and ppl are surprised like ''omg what are doing here'' these ppl are held in high regard mostly bc their very selective with their energy, your viewed as a busy person so when you come around it makes ppl feel lucky. You treat others fairly and want everyone around you to feel accepted. You value keeping the peace. The fact that I'm even using you instead of they is a reflection of how inclusion is important for you. Having an eccentric vibe is more obvious here but alot of ppl go the opposite way and don't want to appear uniquely at all they actually want to be as plain Jane as possible. This can actually rub ppl the wrong way and make them feel something is being hidden from them like your pretending. Feeling criticized in childhood is why accepting others is something they prioritize. They end up in rooms with many different types of ppl. This placement has a lot of experience in a lot of different areas. With a free spirited nature they are open to trying new things pushing themselves outside of their comfort zone quite often.
Pluto in the 12th, a quiet energy standing in the back of the room scoping out the scenery. They notice more than ppl realize and are smarter than they let on. Often having their power tested bc of their calm observing demeanor. Ppl try to make them feel they don't belong in certain environments or that their not really qualified but they don't mind showing you why that perception isn't accurate. They know how to push back. The type to pretend they don't care about popularity but they work very hard at obtaining it. But maybe they don't care about the popularity just the power that it brings. Knowing the value of relationships they put alot into maintaining them. They are very giving to those around them. Self sacrificing even, its like they believe thats how you show someone you really care. These are some of the most passionate people you'll meet. They just know how to make you feel understood and seen. They make everyone feel special. This is one of the most intense placements for the 12th house. The transformations are deep, murky, confusing but it breeds and very self sufficient determined person. They question everything and are always growing and adapting. When they find something they like they become obsessive about it. They will work for extended amounts at a time. Like binging behavior. In Pluto's lower natures they develop a chip or their shoulder and use their influence to hurt others. If they are operating from that place they become very good at it. If they are never brought into awareness they continue generational curses but their children will have it worse than they did. These are the type of Pol that will tell you a traumatic experience in such a casual way and your just left like wtf you said that like it was normal. They also could've grew up experiencing their traumas being brushed off like they were normal. They were familiar with death from a young age and may have felt like they never really were a child. They build the trust of others easily and its bc their honest. It is what it is to them. They are natural born leaders it doesn't take much convincing & they don't mind leading the way as long as you give them their accolades for it. Mind you they could have a god complex but to be fair if you've experienced or achieved the things they have you might too.
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bontentrio · 13 hours ago
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ATEEZ GETTING OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE
san x gn reader + mingi x gn reader (separated)
part 2 to ateez stuck in the friendzone! read that part so this makes sense
tw: slow burn + veeery dramatic + angst + fluff
a/n: both have the slowestttt slow burns in history of friends to lovers omg my heart did kinda break a little while writing them lol so keep in mind that both are VERY dramatic. maybe even cliche but honestly i just wrote what i, personally, enjoy reading. i’m just a girl in love with love 🥹
masterlist
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SAN
san found himself attempting to hide his smile while you told him about your awful date from a few days ago. you were laying down with your head on his lap as san casually untangled strands of your hair, while you rambled on and on about the misfortunes he secretly thought were fortunes in disguise.
“who talks about their mother on the first date? like the whole time i mean, of course it’s okay to mention one or two things following the context of the conversation” you said, moving your hands dramatically to prove your point “but the whole time? i tried to switch the topic of the conversation towards work and can you believe he told me about what his mother does for a living before telling me what HE does for HIS?”
san couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh. you were so cute and he was so happy and relieved that the date had failed.
“he should go to therapy” he said, in between giggles. “right?! sigmund freud would have been thrilled to have him as a patient” you exclaimed, laughing too.
after a few moments of cracking jokes and laughing about the situation, you turned your head to face san. “so what about you?” you asked. he looked down at you, smile on his face still. “what about me?”
“have you gone on dates lately?” you asked. he threw his head back, shaking it slightly “with what time? i’m too busy with schedules” he answered, half lying. it’s true that he’s very busy with his idol duties, but he always managed to make time for you. he knows he could easily use up that time to go on dates, but for obvious reasons that you still were ignorant to, he didn’t. to you, he was just an introvert.
“but are you not interested in anyone?” you pushed, lifting your head and sitting up to face him properly. san chose to avoid your eyes, not trusting himself to keep his own secret. instead, he looked to the city on his right, suddenly finding the building architectures more interesting. he noticed that the air in the terrace got warmer too, and the concrete platform you were sitting on got harder. or was he the one that got warmer and stiffer? “no, i don’t think so” he lied, but you knew him enough to see through it. “liar, you’re blushing”
“well it is an intimate question” he answered, attempting to smile in order to play it off. you shook your head no “you blushed and your left eye twitched a bit. that was definitely a lie and as your best friend i want to know!” you exclaimed, grabbing his hands. if only you knew the effect you had on him.
when he came back from tour, he was determined to confess. but now that the perfect opportunity arose, he couldn’t open his mouth. questions and different negative scenarios plagued his mind, convincing him that maybe it was a bad idea. he much rather work on moving on than lose you as a friend.
“are they that special to you?” you asked, in a much quieter tone of voice, noticing his silence. he nodded, staring at your eyes, hoping you could notice the love they held whenever he looked at you. but despite his desperation, you didn’t. “they are very lucky then, you genuinely are amazing in every aspect sannie”. you continued, going back to your original place with your head on his lap, but still holding his hands. he kept staring at you, if only you knew.
“thank you” san managed to say.
———
“how fast can you come over to help me with something?” you asked san on the phone, as he exited the practice room. it was like the stars aligned, because he had just finished for the day. “i can come over right now, are you okay?” he asked, worried something may be wrong despite you sounding relatively okay. “i can’t pick an outfit and- shit my aunt his calling me, invite yourself in when you arrive, i’m in my room and you already know the lock number of the door” you said, before hanging up.
outfit for what?
———
so that’s how san found himself sitting on your bed on a friday night, numerous pieces of clothing scattered all over without care. he scrolled through some unread messages while he waited for you to try on a different outfit for your new date. yes, new date. as if his heart haven’t just healed from last time.
“i matched with someone on this app and they immediately invited me on a date so now i’m having a fashion crisis” you had explained to him as soon as he entered your room. why was it so hard for you to realize that your dates have been failing for a reason?
you appeared once again, now wearing an outfit that honestly took san’s breath away as soon as his eyes landed on your figure. it was nothing too extravagant, actually, it was rather simple, but it was enough to make san’s head spiral. specially when you twirled around to show the outfit from the back, since your shirt had an open back.
“so? what do we think?” you asked, eyes filled with hope.
san was conflicted: he was 100% sure he has never seen anyone look more beautiful, more dashing, more perfect. but, it wasn’t for him. he didn’t want anyone else to look at you like that, they would never come remotely close to the way he feels about you.
“san-?” you started to ask after a few seconds of silence, but got interrupted by him: “don’t go on that date”
you looked at him confused, as he stared back with the same surprised face. that really had slipped from his lips before he realized what he was saying. you fucked up big time san, he thought to himself.
“why? do i really look that bad?” you asked, turning around to face the mirror in order to examine your body and face. he noticed the way your eyes dimmed, as you carefully traced your eyes over your figure, finding little imperfections that made your face turn into a sad frown. san felt his own heart shatter at the sight, and before he knew, he stood up and quickly hugged you from behind, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.
“sannie?” you asked, startled by his sudden action and making you momentarily forget about the insecurities that started flooding your mind. you looked at him through the mirror: even if he was leaning down on you, he was still much wider, making you feel very small in his arms. unconsciously, you lifted your hand and patted his hair. san lifted his head, looking at you through the mirror as well, and your eyes interlocked.
“you’re perfect y/n” he whispered. “i’m sorry if i gave you the wrong idea, you look beautiful and your date is very lucky”. he was trying to be supportive, but traces of sadness and desperation were evident in his face. enough for you to notice. you turned around, and the same hand that was patting his head went down to his cheek, holding him in place to look at you.
“what’s wrong san?” you asked, softly. your thumb traced comforting circles on his cheek, and you could feel his arms tighten around you as he closed his eyes.
“go on that date” he whispered in a shaky voice, before adding “you look beautiful”.
you stared at him confused for a few moments, not really knowing what to say. then, he kissed your forehead and, with the little bit of strenght he had left in him, unwrapped his arms, stepping back. he grabbed his jacket and went to the door, but not before shooting you another sad look and saying “like i said, your date is very lucky”.
he left, heart in his hands, slowly breaking with each step.
you cancelled the date.
———
san couldn’t sleep that night, he kept tossing and turning as his mind wandered about what you were doing with your date. were you still having dinner? no, probably not since it’s like 2 am. maybe it went so well that you invited them over for coffee at your place, something that will probably lead to something else. something he didn’t even want to imagine, since it wasn’t him committing those sins.
maybe it was time to move on, after all. he wants you to be happy, truly, so if your happiness doesn’t include him, then he should at least be supportive. and in order to do that from the bottom of his heart, he should move-
*knock knock knock* he heard, coming from the door. he decided to ignore it, thinking that it was probably mingi, so he turned around and closed his eyes, pretending he was asleep.
“maybe he’s asleep, i should come back tomorrow but thank you soenghwa” he heard you say from behind the door. he never got out of bed faster, as he sprinted to the door and opened it widely.
there you stood, now dressed in a familiar oversized shirt and baggy pants. completely different from the outfit he last saw you on, but to him you still looked beautiful. you looked at him with wide eyes, as seonghwa smirked next to you.
“i’ll leave you alone” he said, before he made his way to his room and shut the door behind him.
you stood there awkwardly, avoiding his eyes. you came here with a question, but now that you had san right in front of you, thoughts were scattered all over your mind and you couldn’t say a word.
“come in” he said, sensing your internal dilemma. you nodded in response, as you entered and made your way to his unmade bed.
“did i wake you up?” you asked. san shut the door and shook his head “actually i couldn’t sleep”
“me neither” you said in a low voice.
“how was your date?” he asked, unsure of what to say. he sat next to you on the bed, looking at you while trying to decipher your expression. you turned your head to san’s bedside table, finding the small plushie you once gifted him randomly. you smiled. “i cancelled it”
“what? why?!” he asked, with surprised wide eyes. you turned back to him. “i suddenly didn’t want to go, that’s it really. so while i was tidying up my room i found this shirt” you said, fiddling with the ends of the shirt that looked a little too big on you “the one you once lent me after we got stuck in the rain that one time. i told you i would wash it and give it back, but i didn’t. why didn’t i give it back to you?”
san stared at you in silence.
“so i realized it still had your perfume, and before i knew it, i had put it on. then i started thinking about you, about us. you’re my best friend, you know? but as i was laying down on my bed, i was thinking: what if you were not? what if my dates always failed for a reason?” you continued, as your fingers reached for his. “what if the reason they always failed was because i always searched you in them? so again, before i realized i was standing in front of your apartment, but with one question in my mind”
san could feel his heart beat increase and his breath shorten.
“what will happen to us and our friendship if i told you how i feel? how i think i always felt even if i didn’t know it?” you asked, looking at him scared.
“you’re dumb” he said, loud enough for only you to hear. that didn’t surprise you, what did was the way he immediately let go of your hand in order to hug you close, bringing you closer to his body. “what will happen? how would i feel? y/n you’re dumb because that’s how i’ve been feeling for a long time now” he said, hands leaving your waist and craddling your face. san stared at you, and now you realized that his eyes looked different: they held love in them. something you always searched on random people in dating apps, yet were never able to find. instead, it has been right in front of you this whole time.
“i love you” he whispered, pressing his forehead against yours. finally, he thought. he finally said the words he has been keeping locked deeply inside him for years. you smiled, as your nose touched his. “i love you too, i’m sorry i just realized”
maybe it was time to give you the silver necklace he bought you on tour, since now the timing was right.
MINGI
mingi missed you, a lot. he hadn’t heard from you since you stormed out of his house a week and a half ago. he had left you a couple of texts apologizing, and even attempted calling you, but to no avail. you had disappeared, and he didn’t blame you, he was stupid enough to let you go. in fact, that’s the thing he regretted the most about the fight: not chasing after you.
so he did what he knew best: he took his misery and transformed it into work, to be precise, he wrote three songs, all about his feelings, the situation in itself and you.
three different scenarios that made him hear yunho’s voice calling him dramatic in his mind. to be honest, he knew he was being a little dramatic about the situation. he knew that you probably just needed time to cool down, and that if his apology was good enough you would forgive him in a heart beat, because, in the end, he knew you loved him. maybe not in the way he wished for, but you loved him nonetheless.
mingi stared at the ceiling in silence, wondering what were you doing while he layed on his bed feeling miserable. did you miss him too? were you also thinking about him? he was certain of one thing only: he wanted to see you. it didn’t matter to him if you opened the door or not, he needed to at least hear your voice through the door.
he checked the time: 11:47 pm, almost midnight. fuck it, he thought. he stood up and quickly got dressed in a speed record time, tied up his shoes and grabbed his keys and song notebook in the process. by 11:55 pm he was already closing the door of his car.
as mingi started driving, questions also started flooding his mind: will you hate him if he suddenly showed up? what if you had invited someone over? shouldn’t he have discussed this with one of his friends first just in case?
questions, questions, questions.
no answers.
soon enough, he found himself standing in front of your apartment door. he could easily ring the door bell, knock on the door or simply use the spare key you gave him once for emergencies. yet, he was unable to do any, frozen in place as he mentally debated on what to do.
mingi decided to do something odd, something he would have probably laughed at if he saw it in one of the movies you usually forced him to watch with you: he took out his pen and notebook, ripped off one of the pages and wrote on it. then, he slid it under the door and left.
“i’ll tell you everything -m”
———
you have always been a hopeless romantic, mingi knew that perfectly well. you believed in happy endings, and that love and friendship can win over everything. so why hasn’t he heard from you still? did you not get the note? should he leave another one? no, that would be too pushy, it was only two days ago.
questions, questions, questions.
still no answers.
mingi was sulking again, and honestly it started to worry seonghwa and san, who watched as he walked back to his room right after dinner, without saying a word during the whole night. honestly, he was just too lost in his thoughts. their pair exchanged a look, before following him.
“mingi, hold up, everything okay? you’re more… distracted than usual” seonghwa said, carefully choosing his words. mingi hummed in response, nodding as he stopped in his tracks. “yeah, there’s just a lot in my head” he answered, not looking at his friends. “let us hear it then” san said, patting his back and leading them towards the living room.
the trio sat down on the sofa they had bought a few months ago, the one you had scolded them about because it seemed very expensive and too hard to clean. they had all laughed, but soon enough realized you were right when mingi spilled a bit of sauce on it. the stain was still there.
“so? what’s wrong?” seonghwa asked once they all got comfortable. mingi sighed, looking down before he started spilling everything that had happened, from two weeks ago until now. he noticed the eldest nodding along the story, but neither of them said anything until he finished.
“when exactly did you leave this note?” san asked, fidgeting with his bracelet. “two days ago” mingi answered. san’s eyes went wide, as he muttered a small fuck before he sprinted towards the kitchen. seonghwa and mingi exchanged a look, both equally confused at their friend’s actions. after a few moments and very weird sounds that came from the kitchen, san appeared again, with a crumbled up yellow post it in his hand. he handed it to mingi.
“the hell is this? it has food stains san, gross” mingi said with a disgusted face as he barely touched the paper. “open it, i found it this morning” san said, sitting down next to him again. mingi gave his friends a strange look, before carefully opening the crumbled up piece of paper. as he read, his eyes widened in surprise.
“what time is it?!” he exclaimed. “9 pm” seonghwa answered, checking the time in his phone. mingi muttered a small fuck, before putting his shoes on, and grabbing his bag.
“i’ll be back in a while” he said, before shutting the door behind him.
seonghwa looked at san, confused. “what the hell did the paper say?” he asked. san picked it up from the floor and showed it to him:
“8 pm, our special place”.
the hand writing was yours.
———
mingi was almost sure he broke one or two speeding laws on his way to the park where he hoped you were still waiting at. he cursed san for not telling him sooner, even if he knew it wasn’t really his fault to begin with. the park wasn’t far from his apartment though, just a short 10 minute drive. as cliche as it sounds, it was the park were you both met.
at that time, around 6 years ago or so, his mind revolved around perfection, hard work, pressure, debut. so he would succumb to overwhelming feelings pretty often, that forced him to need some time alone. that’s how he found a park nearby, and specifically, one peculiar tree that caught his attention for some reason. he used to sit down under it, notebook on his lap and pen between his fingers, as he scribbled down some random thoughts that plagued his mind during hard moments. he didn’t really plan to turn his words into songs yet, it was just his way to deal with stress. he used to find these little moments very special: it was like he was reconnecting with his inner, truer self, and not the mean facade he wore in front of his soon to be members. yeah, some of them irked him, like that wooyoung guy, but he didn’t mean to be that rude all the time. so, to escape the constant pressure kq fellaz was facing in between the company walls, he found solace in a park, but specifically, he found solace under that tree.
he could remember the day he met you like it was yesterday. he remembers all the stress he was feeling, debut date coming closer and closer. everyone was on edge, from the members to the staff. he had also recently come back from morocco after successfully shooting his first music video! but he couldn’t deny it: as much as he was excited, he was already feeling a little tired. he needed some alone time, just himself with his thoughts. so he found himself walking towards his favorite spot in the park.
only to find you there, sitting down under the tree. his tree to be precise. and you were writing on a pink notebook with a fluffy pen. mingi felt like he was looking at a reflection of himself, but instead of being comforted by it, he felt annoyed. it was HIS tree after all!
“excuse me, this is my spot” he said, coming into your field of vision. you looked up to him, pausing your hand and taking an earphone off. “excuse me?”
“this is my spot” he reiterated, making you chuckle slightly. “the tree you mean? does it have your name or something?” you asked, finding the situation hilarious. he rolled his eyes in annoyance, why did nothing go his way?! “listen, i had a shitty day and i need to sit there for a while, so can you leave?”
“no, i got here first. plus there are tons of other trees here, it’s a park after all” you said, putting your earphone back on and turning your gaze to your notebook. he stayed still in his place in front of you, making you huff in annoyance at his persistence. “look dude, i am not going to move. you can either sit on the opposite side or leave, i don’t care but stop bothering me” you continued.
mingi really really reaaaally needed to be at his safe place, too overwhelmed to funcion rationally, so he rolled his eyes and sat on the opposite side of the tree.
that’s how the story started: at opposite sides of the tree. soon enough it got replaced by sitting nearby, and eventually next to each other. some times you would even bring snacks to share in silence, as you both wrote down your thoughts on your respective notebooks. once he debuted, he broke the silence for the first time, urging you to listen to his song. after that, you started talking more, about music, shows, your respective jobs and life in itself. the safe place you both found under the tree, was also found in each other, quickly realizing you often shared the same thoughts and views about the world.
the story started under a tree, and he hoped it wouldn’t end there too. he needed you to be there, because he wasn’t ready to lose not only his best friend, but also his safe place. even the tree would become stained from the pain. and he would have nothing left, just questions, questions, and more questions about different what ifs.
you weren’t there.
but mingi wasn’t about to give up anytime soon. he started running towards the direction of your apartment, forgetting that he had parked the car on the opposite direction. his legs were aching, and he felt like he was a bit out of breath, despite all the idol training he has been enduring for six years. but he kept running.
until he spot you in the distance.
“y/n!” he yelled. he saw you stop in your tracks and turn around to his direction, confused at the sudden call of your name. once you spotted him running towards you, you sprinted to him.
his body collapsed against yours, as he hugged you tightly, like you would disappear if he let you go. mingi hid his face in the crook of your neck as you wrapped your arms around his back. you could hear his quick heart beat from how close he held you, and you were sure he could hear yours too.
after a while, mingi lifted his head from your neck, and looked at you. “why are you crying?” he asked, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “i thought you wouldn’t come, why are you crying mingi?” you asked, repeating his own actions, but on his cheeks. he giggled, he didn’t even realize he was crying. “i thought i lost you” he said, truthfully.
the park was dark, the only lights came from street lights. so, for outsiders, you probably looked like a random couple having a dramatic moment. definitely not mingi from idol group ateez and his best friend y/n reconciliating.
“i’m sorry” he whispered, locking his eyes with yours. they still held tears, that threatened to spill depending on your answer. you shook your head “no, i’m sorry mings, i shouldn’t have walked away like that. plus i didn't even give you a chance to explain”.
“i’m sorry for not showing you the songs, for not chasing you, and for being too much of a coward to not face you directly” he apologized. you hugged him again, shushing him. “i shouldn’t have pressured you to show me, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do”
mingi looked at you again, and bit his lip. “can i still show you though?”
“it’s not necessary, mingi, it’s fine real-“ you started saying before he interrupted you, taking your hand and leading you towards the same old place from before. “i want to” he said, determined.
you let him whisk you away.
———
back at the peculiar tree that was iluminated enough by a street lamp a few meters away, he sat you down at your usual spot. he sat down beside you, as he pulled out his notebook from his bag. mingi gave it to you.
“mingi, this really isn’t necessary-“ you started saying once again. “please” he interrupted, with pleading eyes. so you took his notebook and opened it on the first page. you already read that song, it was the first one he ever wrote a long while back. “read the last ones”
you turned the pages, until you found them. mingi looked at you nervously, starting to feel fidgety at the thought of you realizing his deepest secret, the only one he hid from you. he just hoped you wouldn’t hate him. he scanned your face, puffy eyes filling with tears once again as realization hit you. you turned your gaze back to him with wide, surprised eyes.
“mingi- what? wait, hold on” you stammered, as tears fell from your eyes. you quickly set his notebook aside to grab your own bag, taking out your new pink notebook, your diary. you handed it to him, saying: “open it on august 5th”
he stared at you confused, and slightly unsure too, since you’ve always been pretty secretive about what you wrote there. he found the page and read:
“august 5th.
so i realized something, that i’m almost too afraid to write even here. i’m scared that if i admit it, i’ll have to face a sad reality. i think i’m in love with my best friend, isn’t that stupid? that’s how i feel, at least. i haven’t seen him in a while because of his work, and i feel like i’m slowly losing my mind. why do i only feel complete when he’s with me? scratch that, why am i even writing this?
anyways, i’ll probably die with the secret”
“now turn to september 16th” you said, avoiding his eyes.
“september 16th.
i’m in love with my best friend. i love mingi. how insane is that? and how stupid? he is my best friend, for god’s sake. but i can’t help the way i feel, specially when he’s so annoyingly observant. like for example, the other day he noticed my pen was dying, so today he surprised me with a new fluffy pink pen. i hate him for making my heart swell at such gestures. specially because i know I KNOW that’s what best friends do.
anyways i’m not gonna use his pen because i decided i’m going to preserve it forever”
“and now, tun to november 10th” you muttered. mingi realized it was yesterday’s date.
“november 10th.
i still love him. and i fucked up. but i’m still in love with him”
he closed your notebook, turning towards you. he found you with your face on your knees, as you hugged your legs, too embarrassed to face him, despite now knowing his feelings. he loves you too, with the same devotion, with the same desperation and intensity. mingi loves you, his best friend.
“look at me, y/n” he whispered. you slowly lifted your head, hesitantly looking at him. the way you both looked at each other held more intimacy than ever. mingi slowly reached for you, bringing your face closer to his. his hold was shaky, almost unsure, this was a whole new territory. he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
“i love you” he admitted.
too many questions, that finally got an answer.
“i love you too” you whispered.
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taglist: @yoongles2025 @reallychaoticwoo
(to be added please let me know)
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hereforthehitsbaby · 2 days ago
Note
prompt: hugh is your sugar daddy and he just bought you a new dress to wear at a movie premiere after party, but he cant resist wanting to take it off of you (also ur writings are fantastic 🩷)
Don’t I Look So Pretty? | Sugar Daddy!Hugh Jackman x F!Reader
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Warnings: Sugar Daddy, Age Gap (Reader is in their late 20’s – Hugh is 56) Secretive Relationship, Heavy Make Out, Hugh is Touchy Feely, Mentions of Smut, Mentions of Divorce, Choking, Biting, Thigh Riding, Slight Pain Kink,
Rating: M – No Minors
Word Count: 4.1k
Author’s Note: Thank you so much for being my first ever High request! I was on the fence about doing RPF but you know what? I cannot pass up Sugar Daddy Hugh like that! Also I 100% spaced on the fact that you said after party and just wrote the premiere. I hope that was okay!
To be tagged in any future work of mine, please fill this out.
How did you get so lucky? That was the age-old question in your mind. How did you go from working a 9-5 office job directly after getting your Masters, to now being a sugar baby? It still surprised you, knowing this was your life. A small studio apartment turned into a lavish penthouse. Your car that barely turned on anymore got upgraded to a brand-new Aston Martin; You’ve never driven it though – why would you if you have a private driver now? How you went from living and working independently to being a princess in less than a few months boggled your mind, but you wouldn’t trade it in for the world. You were happy, for the first time in a long time.
Meeting Hugh Jackman was luck of the draw. You never realized how close your old job was to his home in the city, nor to his favorite coffee shop downtown. That was your solace after long days and dreaded mornings; Extra strong coffee and a bagel was your go-to. Seeing him each time meant that your day was going to be okay, his tender smile and short but sweet conversations got you through your week. It first started off as your favorites being already paid for, not having to waste your own dime anymore. Then it was your parking lot fees being comped, gas being prepaid, food constantly being delivered – all the way up to your rent being paid in full for four months. That is when things took a turn, Hugh didn’t just chat you up to keep your company in the mornings, this time around he was setting terms. Falling into the roll of his sugar baby came so naturally, it was hard to know anything else. You felt bliss, complete happiness knowing you didn’t have to go back to your boring office job. You didn’t have to appease people who truly wanted to use you as a stepping stool for their own success, you could be free from the bullshit of it all. You never looked back, and you never would. Everything you needed was in front of you, and you wanted to keep it that way.
A year of being Hugh’s sugar baby was everything you wanted, and everything he needed. Though this was the first time he had ever asked you to come to a movie premiere with him. It was hush-hush, especially after the divorce he went through. Hugh didn’t take you on as his sugar baby for sexual reasons, but more for companionship. You both were lonely, seeking a connection and why not do it with someone who made you two feel comfortable. As time went on though, those fleeting touches and longing stares burned right through you. Ryan always said it was a match made; He could see through the charade. So here you sit in your closet, at your vanity getting your makeup done. Staring into the mirror while your personal glam team dolls you up, you reminisced about how things have been for the last year, how much happier you are, how deeply you fell in love with Hugh. Not that you’d ever admit it to him, what you had now was good. You didn’t want to ruin that.
“Alright gorgeous, you are set.” Your makeup artist smiled as your hair stylist finished up with the hairspray. Looking up into the mirror, you were taken aback by the image in front of you. You knew you were pretty, beautiful even but right now? You look ethereal. There was a glow on your face not even the makeup could cover up, the way your eyes shined like you were blissfully happy with life. You looked like a painting, nothing seemed real but a perfect portrait of a girl in love. Tears welled in the corner of your eyes as you took yourself in, gasping lowly as your makeup artist set his chin on your shoulder, smiling with you. “Those heart eyes are all you, babe. He’s going to drop to his knees when he sees you.” You couldn’t help but feel the heat creeping up your neck to fan over your cheeks, your body shivering at his words. “I hope, I really hope.” You smiled small into the mirror, heart hammering as you thought of Hugh.
Before you could even begin to silently ponder the reaction he would have to you, a line of giggles fluttered in from the open closet door, humming ensuing as the blonde bun came back in sight. “Special delivery for a special girl,” your hair stylist laughed as she held the box in her hands. You cocked a brow as you spun around in your chair, flicking a silent what in her direction before looking at her hands. An ivory box with a gentle purple ribbon tied in a bow sat in her palms, causing your heart to swell. Biting your glossed lip, you took the box slowly from her hands, seeing a little envelope with your name written out tucked beneath. As you placed the box on your lap, you reached out to run your fingers across the ink, feeling how your fingers shook with anticipation. Gently you grasped the corner of the envelope, opening the back with a quick flick of your finger before pulling the card out.
I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I saw this. I knew I needed to see you in it. Can’t wait to see my pretty girl tonight. Having you by my side is going to feel so right.
Yours, Hugh xx
If you had any doubts before, you knew now that no matter what, Hugh was going to be obsessed with you. It never crossed your mind that he was going to buy you a dress for tonight, much less get it wrapped and ready to go. Especially on such short notice, it was the little actions he did that made you love him even more. Holding the sweet note to your chest, you swooned softly as you let your free hand work the box open, seeing the pearlescent tissue paper covering your dress. Your hair stylist didn’t waste a moment to help you out, lifting the paper back so you could see what Hugh had picked. A deep sapphire blue dress, with little beads twisting to mimic vines across the bodice of the dress, all the way down well passed the hips. The sweetheart neckline perfectly complimented the sheer long sleeves that came down to your wrist.
As your makeup artist and hair stylist grabbed the dress out for you, holding it up, you noticed the deep slit up to the middle of your thigh, causing your breathing to become labored. It was stunning, truly a beauty you have never seen before. Hugh has bought you so many lavish pieces of jewelry, purses, dresses, but nothing ever so you. This didn’t feel like something perfectly curated to fit what you wanted, but something that you would’ve made yourself. Something you would’ve dreamed of wearing. The small notion that he saw this and thought of you made you want to cry – it was too sweet for you to begin. Quickly your makeup artist came over to fan your face, making sure no tears fell over his hard work. That simple action had you laughing away the emotion welling up within you, making it hard to overthink.
A couple face fanning and strategically helping you into the dress so your hair nor makeup go ruined, finally you were in your dress. It felt right against you, like truly it belonged to you, was curated for you, was meant to be for you only. Now as you stand in front of the full length mirror staring at yourself, you felt like you. The way the color complimented not just your figure, but your skin color was the best. You felt like a goddess, you felt like an angel on Earth. You felt powerful, enough to take down an entire empire. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you took a deep breath as you smiled, ready to show Hugh what he had really bought for you. Your glamour team rubbed your arm and back as you began to walk out of the closet, giving you that extra boost you may need.
Thankfully living with Hugh made it so much easier to surprise him, not having to walk down a grand staircase or even stand outside of the door. Simply you could walk out of the closet, into your bedroom, and right into the living room where he was standing. His back was facing you as his front faced the fireplace, a hand pressed against the mantle as his other nursed a glass of water. In this moment you didn’t have to say anything or move an inch. Hugh could feel that you were behind him, he could smell your perfume and instantly felt his body run hot. He longed for you, each and every day. Though you two weren’t intimate, it didn’t stop the deep connection you developed with each other. Having that emotional connection was perfect, even if a physical one didn’t happen. Being a sugar daddy was new to him too; Ryan told him not to fall in love but, with you he couldn’t help it.
Slowly Hugh turned around from his position, his eyes unfocused behind his glasses. From his fuzzy vision he could make out the color of your dress, and knew he wasn’t going to be able to handle this. As his vision came back into focus, Hugh sucked a breath in, eyes dilating at what he was seeing. Starting at your face, he let his eyes wander over your features, taking in your beauty from a few steps away. He was wondering how the hell he got so lucky, how he had the fortune of existing at the same time as you, you were everything to him. Slowly his eyes careened down to your neck, ghosting over your chest and down your front. Each flick of his gaze caused your body to grow warm, the slick between your thighs growing more and more. Once his eyes fell upon the generous slit in your dress, once emerald eyes turned obsidian. His facial features never moved, they stayed in their frozen state as his eyes flicked back to you, his mouth agape.
“Woah,” Hugh breathed out, his heart pounding in his chest. You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling, biting your lip as you slowly made your way to him. The strawberry vanilla lotion you had used wafted through his nostrils, mixed with your perfume made him feral. It was then you noticed how his tie matched the color of your dress, causing you to feel warm and fuzzy. The little details like that made it special for you, made this relationship feel not monetary – but real. “That bad, huh?” You snorted out, running your fingers down the collar of his blazer as your eyes remained on his. You could see there was something more brewing beneath his gaze, but he wasn’t showing – he was shutting it out for his own sake. Hugh laid his hands on your lips as he looked deep into your eyes, smiling like a man obsessed. “You look perfect. I knew this dress was made for you.”
Hearing him say that made your smile turn wide, leaning forth to give him a small kiss on the cheek as you let your breath waft over his ear. “Thank you for this, Hugh. That was too kind. You’re too sweet.” They were the best set of words you could string together; Under his stare this time around, you couldn’t think coherently. The energy between the two of you had shifted – once full of pink and purple lights now swam in dark reds and emerald. It was thick, not suffocating but held you both in. You felt your body pushing against his without even thinking about it, Hugh could feel it too. Bringing his hand up to caress your jaw, his eyes fell to your lips, enraptured by the color chosen to compliment the dress. “Anything for my baby. You ready?” He smiled, his eyes never leaving your mouth. Nodding against his hand, you moved your head slightly to the side as you kissed his palm, holding your other hand against his chest. “As I’ll ever be.”
That was all Hugh needed to hear to grab your hand, bringing the back up to his lips as he let his kiss linger. Taking your hand into his, you both made your way out to the town car with his driver, making your way to the premiere.
-----
Everything that you could’ve possibly thought a red carpet for a premiere could be, you got to experience. It was a blur of lights and yelling but it was magical. Seeing how the cast latched onto Hugh and his excellence made your heart grow fond. Seeing how many of his friends came out to support him warmed your insides. Tonight was about him and his amazing performance, to be tagging along with him to experience this was a dream come true. Though you didn’t want the full red-carpet experience; Seeing the plethora of lights and cameras shuttering made you feel lightheaded. Instead, you made your way over his Hugh’s assistant, falling right behind him in step as he made his way around to interviews with Hugh. This was your choice at the end of the day, Hugh was okay with what made you feel safe, but a part of him wishes he could’ve had you on the carpet with him, showing off his girl.
Everything flew by in the snap of your fingers, interviews and pictures were completely done with now as you two made it into the packed theater. The complimentary concessions stand was buzzing to life with all the celebrities wanting a snack, the chatter gradually got quieter as people started to make their way to their seats. You could feel your nerves on edge as you looked around. Hugh leaned closer to you as he laced his arm your waist, holding you to him as he ran his thumb over the dress. Turning your face up to look at him, you could see that his brows were pulled together. He looked upset, worried even as his eyes panned around the room. It was something you have never see Hugh do before, and you wondered what was the matter. “You okay, Hugh?” You asked as you held him close, placing your lips near his shoulder
Your words seemed to have broken him out of his internal thoughts, causing him to come back into reality. “Hm? Oh yeah, I’m great!” He chimed, leaning down to lay a kiss on your temple. It felt staged, artificial. Was he nervous about all the people? About bringing you along? Was he not wanting to see someone? Too many questions placated your mind as you tried to read Hugh’s expression. You could see a small glimmer of pain in his eyes as he searched the room, his breathing become harsh. Rubbing your hand along his lower back, you placed your hip against his, leaning as close as you possibly could so only he could hear you. “You sure? You look distracted.” You knew he was, and you were silently hoping he would tell you why, but alas he looked down at you with a blank stare, trying to mask how he was feeling. “I’m okay, my darling.”
Nodding up at Hugh, you gave him a small smile as you looked back at the crowd. It was then that you heard a small gasp of success from Hugh’s lips, not giving you time to ask what was going on. Hugh was a man on a mission, and wasn’t going to stop until he got what he wanted. His hand wrapped to yours tightly, tugging you through the theater. As you pushed your way through the line Hugh had made for you, you couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at his eagerness. Hugh wasn’t upset but he was excited for something, of which you could not tell. But the way he looked back at you made your skin alight in adoration, his eyes sparkling with something more than like. You felt your body run hot as he stared at you, pulling you closer. Rounding the corner near the theater entrances, Hugh noted the light blue door at the end of the hall, humming out as he started to sprint with you.
Gathering the skirt of your dress in your free hand, you made good pace with Hugh as he led you to the door. Pushing it open with ease, you were met with the brightly lit interior of the bathroom, causing you to squint slightly. The bright light threw you off your balance as Hugh fully pulled you into the bathroom, maneuvering your body while you tried to adjust to the light. As your eyes finally focused, you felt your back being pressed up against the bathroom door, locking it with a harsh click. Hugh had both of your wrists clasped into his hands, holding them strictly above your head. Your eyes went wide at the action, staring into his blackened ones, your breathing labored in comparison to his easy one. “Hugh! What-“ You yelped out, but were cut short by Hugh shaking his head. His salt and peppered beard ran over your cheek as he tucked his head down, his breath sliding across your neck. “Sshh, don’t talk. Don’t talk.”
You obeyed his command as you whimpered, letting your eyes fall closed naturally at the feeling of him pressed against you. Hugh pulled his head back from your neck as he stared down at you, bringing his left hand down to grab at your chin, pointing your face up towards him. You could see the feral nature wanting to slip out and play with you, wanting to add physical contact to your relationship. You could see how Hugh was fighting it back with each breath, the small line teetering the deeper you gazed. You didn’t want just an emotional connection anymore, you wanted to make good on your job of sugar baby, giving Hugh exactly what he needs. He could see that in your eyes as well, the conflict of whether it would be a good idea. Tonight was a night of firsts, why not add that to the menu? A slight whimper left Hugh’s mouth as you pressed your breasts to him, leaning forth to nip at his bottom lip. “Earlier you asked me if I was okay. I lied, I’m not okay.” He sounded as if he was in pain, causing a wave of arousal to slip through your lower lips.
You felt your mind going hazy at the lack of space you two had, adding to the tension you wanted to slice with a knife. “W-What’s up?” It came out more as a moan than a sincere question, and you felt Hugh’s reserve slipping away. A chuckle of arousal slipped from his parted lips as he slid his left hand from your chin, to your neck. The action itself made your body sing, your eyes rolling back as he pushed. He was holding you hard enough so you couldn’t move, but not hard enough to where you couldn’t breathe. Instead, his thumb and first finger found your pulse point, pushing down to restrict the blood flow to your head, making your sight go fuzzy. “Fuck it,” Hugh let out with a growl. There was not enough time to respond before he pressed his mouth to yours, invading your senses.
Time stopped in that moment, slowing down enough to fully take in this moment. The first kiss of your relationship with Hugh, something you two have been wanting so bad over the last year. The floodgates had broken in this moment, letting you two embark on this voyage of discovery. His lips slotting against yours like he was made for you, how your mouth formed perfectly to his. The simple flicks of your tongue against his ignited the fire from within, causing you to burn to ash and be born anew. You struggled against Hugh’s grasp, wanting nothing more than to hold him close to you, feel every ridge of his body under your palms, to feel his burning passion. As if he had read your mind, Hugh had let your hands go, deepening the kiss. A sultry moan slipped past your parted lips as he licked into your mouth, letting him swallow it down.
Your hands slid down as he released his grasp, finding purchase on his hips. Letting your left-hand maneuver upwards, you tangled your fingers into Hugh hair at the base of his neck, giving the roots a soft tug. A growl escapes his lips and pours into your mouth; His right hand working its way under the slit of your dress to hold your plush thigh. The tantalizing touch of his calloused fingers against your baren skin made you want to scream in pleasure, to let this man ravish you all across the world. Hugh pulled back, panting like an animal as he gripped at your neck tighter, his touch shaking. “I can’t stop thinking about stripping you out of this dress.” Hugh sounded like he was in pain, a primal sound you have never heard him make. He sounded like a man possessed, the only cure was to make you scream his name.
A moan slipped out of his mouth as his hand slipped between your legs, feeling how sopping your cunt was at making out with him. Feeling his fingers slide against your panties made your knees buckle. Hugh stuck his knee between your thighs to hold you up, burying his face into your neck. “God, I fucking need you baby. I can’t do this any longer.” Hearing his desperate he was for you made you feel powerful, your hand gripping his hair tighter as he ravishes your neck. Hugh’s lips latched on roughly to the skin of your throat, suckling against the sweet scent of you. His knee on the other hand, slid back and forth against you, letting your erect clit nudge the soft fabric. Everything was too much, every feeling was too much, yet you didn’t want any of it to stop.
Grinding yourself down against his thigh, Hugh took that as an opportunity to bite into your neck, not hard enough to break skin but enough to mark what’s his. That was enough to send you over the edge, digging your nails into the back of his neck as you tossed your head back against the door. Against your core thigh you could feel Hugh growing harder, silently begging to make him cum. The mere size of him shocked you, knowing he would give you a good stretch if you tried. Just the thought was enough to put you on edge, his words aiding in your arousal. “If I’m not inside of you in the next two seconds, I might pass out.” You couldn’t take it anymore, you were sweating like a bitch in heat. You needed Hugh, and needed him now. You needed to feel him inside of you, to mark you, show everyone that you are his. “Would you-“ You began, not able to finish as Hugh pulls his face back from your neck.
“Yes.” How quickly he responded made you laugh, which in turn caused Hugh to roughly press his knee against your clothed clit, sending a wave of arousal through your body. Never tearing your eyes away from his, you licked your glossed lips sensually, putting on your best innocent eyes you could muster as you spoke. “You didn’t let me-“ Hugh had heard enough to know what you meant, because he needed the exact same from you. Hugh brought his face up inches from yours, pecking your lips slightly as he groaned out, your hand gripping his erect cock through his slacks. “Would you like to go home and let me worship you? Yes, I would baby.”
-----
Taglist: @anamiad00msday @coowayeoo @craziersarah98 @tezooks @pedroscurls @logansbaby
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ollimus-prime · 1 day ago
Note
sorry if it’s a little complicated, but maybe Megatron meeting Y/N again after so long, since having known them as D-16?
One Last Choice
A/N, not important: I don't think I got his personality right my b. If y'all have any tips or could point me towards some, I'd be forever thankful. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.
-Ollie
CW: Major Character Death(Reader)
Words: 1750
Summary: A final meeting with an old friend.
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You’ve been captured. At least, you think you have. Unfriendly servos were wrapped around your shoulders and hauling you across the floor with a fury you hadn’t seen in years. Although, that’s about the most you could gather from the situation. Your systems were completely out of whack. Up was down and down was up. Nothing made sense anymore. You could feel your arms bound behind your back, restricting your movement and disorienting you further. 
The only thing you could be sure of now was the pain. It radiated through your frame like the energon flowing in your lines. Your HUD was flooded with warnings, the never-ending assault of painful information suffocating you and swallowing you whole. You could barely hear, could barely see. Everything was coated in a thick static that had taken over your world. Muffled voices sounded above you as you were dragged to whatever pit you would be left to go offline. 
You try to count the steps for a moment, willing your aching processor to sputter back to life and erase the static from your every thought. It consumed you, drove out your very will and forced you to accept defeat. What were you even fighting for at this point? Your friends? Freedom?
The war had been going on for so long at this point, you weren’t sure you remembered. Optimus Prime—though you’ve never gotten used to calling him that—had tried so hard to keep everyone’s spirit alive. To keep the hope of winning strong.
You weren’t sure you’d say he’d failed, but you definitely weren’t hopeful now. No one was, not if they weren’t insane or a liar.
The impact of your face onto the ground surprised you more than you wanted to or were willing to admit. Pain floods your systems again, your vision going completely black for an awful moment. You hated to consider the option something as stupid as being dropped took you offline. You weren’t weak. You’ve proved it in the mines, on the battlefield, yet this little extra shove seemed to blow your circuits more than you liked.
The voices sound above you, muffled arguing hinting at the nature of your predicament. You grimace, letting your face fall fully against the ground. They were probably debating which one of them got to end you.
When rough hands grab at your helm, you try to fight back. Every movement felt like it’d kill you, sparks from your own fried circuitry burned your face. Then, with a painful tug at something lodged in your helm, the static lifted. You take a harsh vent as your mind clears. You felt alive again, no longer stuck in the hell that was your own mind.
You dare to lift your helm, hoping to face your captors and get in some insults before they blow your processor over the wall. Instead of the grunts you were expecting, you face the dark pedes of the mech that started it all.
“Leave us,” he orders, causing whatever soldiers who grabbed you to quickly flee the room. You wait a second, still stuck on your front with your neck painfully bent to be able to face his pedes. It would be humiliating if you were able to think properly. 
The silence stretches between you until it becomes so heavy you feel you can’t properly vent. The fans under your plating sputter and pop with each second you’re stuck on your stomach, the weight of your own frame causing you to slowly overheat. Megatron lets the silence permeate the room for a few more moments before he takes another step towards you.
Your designation rolls off his tongue so much easier than you expected it to. There was no bite to his words, no underlying bitterness or anger. You shift on the ground where you’re left, ignoring the sparks shooting from your injured shoulder plate. You stare at the monster before you, the mech you once proudly called a friend. 
His plating looked just as weary as your own, his optics dimmed and lacking anything but hatred and contempt. There was pain in his stance, a pain you felt deeply mirrored within your own frame. It was hard to see him like this, to see him as the one who killed Orion and caused him to become the Primus-chosen leader instead. You search his facial plating for any sign of the friend you once knew, the hot-tempered but easy-going miner who just wanted to get through the day with his friends.
It hurts to admit you can’t find him.
“Well,” he prompts, taking a small step towards you. The dark red of his optics burn starkly against his chrome plating, the room’s poor lighting not helping the menacing look. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I’m stuck,” you gripe, letting your forehelm touch the floor once more. You weren’t really stuck. Not truly. You weren’t being held down, and if you could gather the will power, you’d definitely be able to face him on your knees. The problem with that, however, is that you have no desire to make the effort. Whether you stood, knelt, or laid in front of him, the outcome would be the same. There was no part of you that expected to make it out of here with your helm attached to your shoulders.
“Really now,” Megatron chides, his pedes thudding against the ground as he circles you like a helpless animal. Every step makes your helm ache, the vibrations shaking your entire frame. “I always thought you were stronger than that. I’ve heard stories of your retaliation against my troops while you fight against our freedom.”
Megatron stops somewhere to the left of you, the tension growing thicker. You bristle slightly, sighing. His engine revs in anger as he regards you, examining your broken frame tossed upon his floor. “You betrayed me. You’ve betrayed Cybertron. You stood against me and chose to maintain Sentinel’s Primacy-”
“Sentinel’s dead,” you cut him off, irritated at his growing anger. “You fixed that problem. Let it go.”
“Let it go?!” He roars, grabbing the back of your frame and heaving you up. You grimace at the new pains shooting through your spinal struts, trying desperately to find leverage on the ground. “We toiled away in the mines our entire function because of him! He desecrated our bodies before we were even online! And yet you still turn to his beliefs and follow in the Primacy’s footsteps!”
Megatron stares into your face with white-hot fury, his teeth grinding against each other as he waits for you to respond. You can’t respond for a while, unsure what to say or what to do. You hesitate for too long, Megatron’s scowl growing as he throws you back onto the ground. You wheeze at the impact, optics flickering as you try to recalibrate your senses.
“You’re right,” you manage out, coughing up energon and spitting it out onto the floor. You grimace at the rancid taste, trying to clean your tongue on the roof of your mouth. He was right, in the important ways. Sentinel needed to be rid of. Sentinel’s rules needed to be changed. But that had happened, before the war between Megatron and Optimus really started. Megatron got rid of Sentinel, and Optimus got rid of his system. The only problem now was the hatred that had sprouted in the very sparks of the cybertronians.
“Excuse me?” Megatron laughs, walking closer to your limp frame. “Did my audials get miswired? Is the great major of the Autobot army agreeing with me?”
He kicks your arm, trying to get you to meet his optics. You stubbornly refuse, keeping them trained on the ceiling. “I’d never expected to see the day.”
You scoff at his words, leaning your helm back against the cool metal of the floor. “More ‘bots do than you’d expect. Your problem is how you went about it.”
“Right. Because getting the job done is such an issue.”
Megatron fumes above you, pacing next to your side again. You ignore him for the most part, beating down old feelings of warmth and safety he used to bring. He was a different bot now, and so were you. Nothing between you was there, made obvious by his clear disregard for you. You were a means to an end now, nothing but a tool to be used to further hurt Optimus and his fight for the wrong freedom.
“You know what I don’t understand?” Megatron starts again, scowling down at your hapless form. You don’t bother to respond before he starts again, his anger rising and voice growing heavier. He continues to pace, stomping around your head like it would fix all of his problems. “You say you agree with me on the fundamentals, yet you still side with the Prime. You side with the system that ground us down until we were broken and then still demanded more. Sentinel was a traitor and a liar who betrayed our kind. And you still follow his lead.”
“I follow Optimus’s lead, actually.”
The glare that comment earned you could have burnt straight through your frame, his face scrunched up and filled with more hostility than a single bot should be able to possess. His eyes glowed brighter in the dark, his face now leering over your own.
“Do not say that traitor’s name in front of me. He is the same as Sentinel. They’re all the same. True freedom won’t be accomplished until they and every single bot that dares share their ideals are dead.”
The sound of his cannon extending surprises you at first, the warm glow of death casting over your frame. You couldn’t find yourself to be scared as you stare down the barrel of the cannon. It was there, somewhere, but not enough to make you tremble nor react in any significant way. You knew this would happen eventually. Whether now or later down the line, you’d die in this petty war.
“Any last words, Autobot?” He snarls. You stare at him for a second before letting your helm fall back, refusing to show fear.
“Good-bye, D-16.”
He doesn’t wait long for you to speak before you can feel the blast burning through your chest, consuming your spark and your entire being with it. The aching pain from your frame halts, letting you be surrounded in a cold unfeeling. Your optics sputter for a moment more before shutting, letting you fall into the arms of Cybertron itself.
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