#no projects no drawing things because i feel like i have to deliver something

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Have a late valentines gift from the automaton au guys♡ they love you

(I love you too)

[clairdelunetarot]

★  And here it is!   drum roll  The suggested pac. Yaaay! In this reading you will discover what your academic strengths are and how to take advantage of them. Take a deep breath and choose the one that draws you in the most. Thank you so much for the support on my previous first pac! My suggestions are always open so don't be shy to make a request. 

DISCLAIMER: this is a general reading it will be as close as possible to your situation but it will not be accurate. take only what resonates. if you want a more accurate reading you can ask for it when I open my shop! 

PILE ONE

Your main strength is your ability to stay consistent and keep moving forward, even when others give up. You won’t back down. You are patient and perseverance is not something you lack. You may not be the fastest at finishing things, but when you deliver a job, it's well done! You don't like to take shortcuts, preferring to do things at your own pace and doing them well done. You're giving me the vibes of someone who is an ace at detailed analysis. Again, you have a strong ability to work for the long haul, even when the going gets tough. Although you may sometimes doubt your progress or feel that you are not moving fast, your tenacity and determination are your greatest strengths. You know when to stay on your own path and focus on your goals despite external obstacles or competition. You catch connections that others miss! Your energy is very grounded: slow but sure and with a solid, practical foundation.

In school or university, you might not be the quickest to finish assignments, but when you do, your work stands out. Because it is well done. You’d excel in long-term projects like research papers or presentations where thoroughness is an important factor (God has favorites smh). Focus on these, and you’ll leave an impression. 😏 Some of you may have Capricorn or Scorpio/Pluto in your birth chart. Taurus even, a moon or a Taurus Mars (love this mars btw, people think they are lazy but they are so perfectionistic and determined!). Your energy is very ISTJ, ISTP (Ti and Si) and even INTJ for a few of you.

HOW CAN YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS

Trust more in what you know and your intuition. Organize your priorities and look for projects that really challenge you and test your analytical skills. Even if you sometimes feel like you are stuck in a rut that doesn't give you quick results, the important thing is to keep a clear routine and adjust it when necessary. Don't overload yourself with unnecessary things. You need to focus on a strategic direction and use your energy wisely. And if you feel you need an extra push, seeking someone to guide or mentor you can help you gain confidence and even improve your skills!.

PILE TWO

You are a born leader; you enjoy taking the initiative and solving problems quickly and efficiently. You have a talent for planning and organizing. You are energetic, forceful/assertive, and possess the quality of leadership. You are not scared to make difficult decisions and you could be great at leading others in group or class tasks. You have the drive to inspire others and succeed, even if you don’t notice it. Your primary strength is your vision for the future and ability to make plans (entj vibes). You are a person who sets ambitious targets and understands how to reach them. You succeed at circumstances that need quick thinking and action, like team presentations, debates, and academic competitions. In a university setting, you’d thrive in organizing group projects, taking the lead in presentations, or even planning events (idk if you have student clubs but you would do well there too). If you’re in school, think about leading or taking part in a debate team, club or a class project. Your ability to motivate and plan will make a huge impact!

However, you sometimes find it difficult to adapt to change or are overly perfectionistic. You are good when you can work in a stable environment, and your ability to maintain focus is a great asset for you to see the big picture even when there are obstacles in the way. Your energy is very fiery, some may have Leo in their charts or similar qualities. Remember Leo is fixed, some of you may find it a little difficult to be flexible or too perfectionistic like a Capricorn MC. Definitely according to functions, this screams Te (Extraverted Thinking) to me a lot, some of you may be ENTJ. Or have a Ti or Te as dominant or even auxiliary functions.

HOW CAN YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS

You need to focus on projects that need organization and attention to detail. In teamwork or group projects, you may excel at leading. I think you are not good at following other's lead. Play to your strengths by trusting yourself and others more (especially if you have a hard time letting go of control). Even if you like to work alone, learning to delegate and collaborate will allow you to get better faster. Look for opportunities where you can put your planning skills to work, such as internships or real projects. Again, student clubs would be great for you. Also, relax a bit about perfectionism; not everything has to be perfect to work well.

PILE THREE

You have a creative and imaginative mind. While you may have difficulty articulating your ideas properly (you may appear disorganized or scattered), you've got the potential to come up with fresh approaches and ideas. You have a remarkable ability to think outside the box and discover solutions where others perceive problems. When you focus, you can do a lot! You don't like to follow conventional norms, so you can come up with creative solutions. This might be difficult to understand from others tho. You are tenacious even when things fail to go as planned, and you learn quick from your mistakes.

If you're in school, you'd thrive at creative assignments like preparing a presentation or developing an original solution for a competition. In university, you may excel at brainstorming or creative writing assignments that ask you to think outside the box. Even discovering different takes on the project or investigation you are doing.

Your energy is very airy, dare I say Aquarian and even Gemini. Some of you may have one of these in your charts. Lots of connections to Mercury or a good Mercury placement (Aquarius, Gemini, Virgo). Perhaps Saturn is making bad aspects to your Mercury or indirectly to your Jupiter (this may be what explains that agitated energy I felt). You may be: Ne (Extraverted Intuition) and even Ti (Introverted Thinking). I'm thinking: ENFP, ENTP & INTP.

HOW CAN YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS

You must decide exactly what you want to achieve. You don't have a defined plan or strategy. You have the energy and capability but not the direction or structure. I don't know how to put it but because of your creativity, you might not always know where you're going, which could keep you from realizing your full potential. You need to work on communicating your ideas and giving them some aims. You can try working on projects or in fields where you can feel free to experiment but with some structure to guide your creativity. Like: Study plans, Notion, planners, etc. Try some classes or workshops in creative writing or communication. Seek for projects that provide you the freedom to think creatively and investigate more complex or abstract concepts. If things don't go as planned, don't feel scared about starting again (failing is okay!), because every try brings you closer to your goal. Collaborating with peers who have complementary skills could help you bring your innovative ideas to life. (While writing this I got reminded so much of ADHD—I only mention it briefly since I have ADHD not because of tarot. I suggest considering discussing it with a professional if you have the time or availability!)

[pankielovesfan]

ii16 spoilers under cut

MORE talk about fan similar to the other post because there is still a lot to say. This is more about what fan means to mephone

Compared to most of the other contestants, Fan wasn't originally created to BE a contestant, which I find most interesting. Fan was quite literally created to be a fan of the show and randomly appears in season 1 (and he also delivers food I guess). Even if Mephone4 consciously made Fan or not, his appearance and creation obviously meant Mephone wanted appreciation for the things he was making, as is Fan's main purpose and service to Mephone. Fan is technically a manifestation of Mephone's love for the show itself, but he is also expressing vulnerable happiness of which Mephone feels like he could not express properly considering his issues with vulnerability. This might be why he is so outwardly dismissive of Fan's strong emotional enthusiasm for the show!!

So Fan technically is a support Mephone desperately wants, but he can't respond well to- but this definitely means Mephone appreciates Fan's dedication as he quite literally wished for Fan to exist as he is, being such an engaged Fan. He expresses passion for the show in a way Mephone couldn't do himself! Fan gives Mephone support as complete opposite to what Mephone feels Cobs would have! And you know what else Cobs does that Fan has an extreme well known trait of disliking and being scared of? Change. Cobs constantly reinvents, makes new things, discards old things, but Fan latches on. He observes patterns, he begs for predictability, structure and consistency.

Another notable trait of Fan is his defensiveness. Even if he's not good at it, he's incredibly stubborn to protect his passion and love to no end, being incredibly irrational about it. Cobs is well. Yeah. Massive Passion Disliker. He don't gaf about that. Fan might've looked up to cobs and meeple, but god if he's not possibly a parallel that's the opposite. I'm going to walk into the ocean. Im forever gonna think about how fan was created to be a support. like his entire goddam purpose is to love something so much!!!! and give it so much attention! and he is having so much fun doing it!!! IT IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!!

I'm not sure if the characters are partly "extensions" of Mephone or if they're Mephone projecting specific parts of himself, I believe most of all they are created from his desire (like, wanting a specific thing and that thing just appears for him if this is done unintentionally,) but either way I enjoy thinking about what each trait that manifested for Fan's character specifically would resonate with Mephone's experiences and why he would create him with those traits. or something.

My working theory is that Mephone labeled each character in his mind as one thing, such as "the jerk" for Knife and nothing more, letting the contestants take their own shape and personality as they gain more experience on the show, which I feel is validated through Lightbulb saying "I don't think we were all there yet" once seeing the season 1 contestants in alternate reality show! They build more of their personality as it goes along. I think Mephone has minimal control of the contestants personality wise after he's generated them, but i do think he influences their memories or experience with time or something?? I dont know. guess we will all see. Also this somehow isn't about fan anymore wow that's weird actually who am i where am i

relevant drawing. Time to collapse to my knees over this shit again

[llolianarchives]

The Prefect and The Draconia

A short overview of the Ramshackle prefect and their strange (but kind) horned fellow friend: as seen through the eyes of outsiders.

(A/N: #Malleyuu notes with an OC but feel free to project. We're all delulu here ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ )

His Henchman is crazy.

Or at least, that's what Grim thinks when he's woken up at sunrise to Yue's bizarre ramblings. Something about the time being 1 AM, then fireflies at night, and a tall, horned figure – is what he takes from their babble amidst his own groans and pleas to return to sleep. He'd think them delirious from slumber, mumbling about another dream, if it weren't for the way Yue's eyes sparkled with genuine interest. Grim yields, in the end, for one of the many things he's learned about his reliable servant is that they can be awfully enthusiastic when it comes to this world's curiosities.

“He told me to call him whatever I want,” Yue continues, ruffling Grim's fur dry with a clean rag. Before he could insert magnificent ideas of his own, they beat him to it with a soft smile on their lips.

“I'm thinking of naming him Nyx: the personification of the night. What do you think?”

“What? Because he only shows up at night?” Like some wacky cryptid.

“Yup.”

He hears his henchman forgo the brush, letting it clatter loudly against the table.

“Hm... Nyx, huh...” Grim falls into thought, testing the name on his tongue like premium quality tuna. He doesn't even notice how Yue ties the striped ribbon around his neck. Triumphant, he turns to them with a grin.

“That's not half-bad, Henchman! It's cool and mysterious. Not as cool and mysterious as me, of course, but I'd say it's a close second!”

“Naturally. I wouldn't dare bestow a name mightier than the Great Grim's.”

Despite the stream of praise his henchman delivers (which he pleasantly basks in), Yue eventually derails, returning to speak of the horned man yet again. What Grim's superior brain gathers is this: One, this Nyx guy is super weird. Two, Yue's interest has been piqued like no other before.

He'll demand some omurice as payment for his counsel later on.

. . .

Malleus has made a friend.

The news was dropped onto Lilia's lap rather unceremoniously when one night, the Young Lord—having just returned from another evening excursion, went to sit with him in the Diasomnia lounge. This time, however, the quaintest of smiles adorned his face... It was an unusual sight but certainly not unwelcome. And much like any doting parent, his curiosity led him to ask.

Malleus had replied with a question of his own.

"Lilia, do you know of the Prefect that resides in Ramshackle Dorm?"

"Yue? Why yes, of course. I've spoken to them once or twice. They made quite a show during the Ceremony."

Yue— Lilia soon comes to learn— is completely unaware of Malleus's identity as a prince and a figure of authority, of power. As such, they bear no fear for him, even going so far as to bestow him a pet name, of all things.

(“Nyx? As in the night spirit? How fitting.")

Thus began the pattern of Lilia covering for Malleus's nighttime absence, not daring to ask nor scold when the prince would return in strange and stranger states.

When he would return to the dormitory partially caked with dirt and mud (a consequence of helping the prefect with their little garden of life.) Or when he would return with a box of homemade cake, a pretty stone from their walks, a drawing of him supposedly made by the prefect's beast, and with inquiries of the complexities of human nature.

Sometimes, Lilia can't help but feel a bit guilty, constantly boring witness to Silver and Sebek's searches into the night.

Yet that sliver of guilt fades, in the end, when Malleus smiles more often than before, when he approaches Lilia in the winter with the request of delivering a Holiday Card.

As he watches the magicless human rush into their abode, card in hand, ghosts and Grim awaiting their entrance...

he has never felt prouder and more grateful for fate.

. . .

From a distance, Vil watches.

He watches as the feared Briar Prince lets a small, feeble human talk his ear off, calm and unresisting, a hand on his chin as he ponders along Yue's barrage of words. He gives the prefect full reign of the conversation. He lets himself be taken away by their stories and details. He lets them speak, which they do.

Just after the horrors, highs, lows, and thrills of the VDC, the two chat as if nothing even happened. The onslaught of it all feels like a fever dream to Vil. First, the mental toll of overblotting, then their loss to RSA's nursery rhyme performance, and now the shocking reveal of Yue (innocent, bold, mundane little Yue) and Malleus Draconia's relationship.

He isn't even sure what to make of it. They're clearly friends, yet Vil can't bring himself to chalk it up to just that. His years and years of showbiz cinema has taught him the ins and outs of body language. He watches. He sees:

There's the smiles on both their faces; cheeks raised taut, dimples carved with genuine laughter. There's that glimmer in Yue's eyes and the odd tenderness of Malleus's own, both gazes locked onto one another with an undisturbed focus. There's the fact that Yue had given him an invitation to the VDC, or that Malleus had fixed the stage partially to show off to the magicless human, or that their hands are currently mere centimeters away from each other.

In the end, Vil averts his gaze, weariness crashing into him all at once and he feels a pair of hands grasp onto his shoulders, keeping him standing. Rook smiles, gentle, knowing, annoying. Vil resigns to his whims and lets his Huntsman guide him back to the Pomefiore Dorm, the chatter of Yue and Malleus and everyone else fading away.

[skitskatdacat63]

"From triumph to failure is but one step."

+ the usual

I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.

+ version without text

My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:

Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.

Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3

I. Renault

At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.

II. Ferrari

Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.

III. Aston

Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.

Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(

[malk1ns]

HI HELLO I’ve been thinking about your barbie girl sid for a hot minute….if you could please imagine the man trying to do a diy/home improvement/“wood working project….like maybe sid wants to make a bird house or bird feeding station so he can do some more bird watching, and he’s struggling a little trying to figure out which tools are best to use in what order….sid out in the backyard all sweaty and pink cheeked and pouting behind his safety glasses trying to figure out why his angles are off…..asking geno with his big old 🥺 eyes to hold his wood still for him while he works his saw……

Sid loves having hobbies.

Evgeni's watched him pick up and discard new ones practically every offseason since they've been together. The only ones that have stood the test of time are scrapbooking and baking; Sid spends hours in his craft room putting together memory books that Evgeni will absolutely not admit to crying over when he's feeling sentimental, and after over a decade Sid's perfected his banana bread recipe.

Everything else, though, Sid gets really into for a few weeks over the summer, then loses interest a few weeks into the new season. They have half a shelf's worth of books on birdwatching from the Covid pause, and Evgeni things there's a bin of yarn somewhere in the garage still.

So, he's used to Sid watching something on YouTube and getting all excited about trying something new. They take trips to stores to buy stuff because Sid doesn't trust Amazon after they delivered a sensitive package to their neighbor's house, and Evgeni watches Sid wander the aisles, offering opinions when asked but otherwise letting Sid pick out whatever little bits and bobs he likes best.

It keeps Sid occupied, usually. Evgeni does most of his intensive paper-writing in the offseasons, and Sid having something of his own to work on, even if he gives up after a month, keeps him from getting bored when Evgeni loses track of time.

He's not so sure about this summer's choice though.

Sid's been talking about wanting to redo the basement at his house all season, setting up Pinterest boards and drowning Evgeni's Instagram messages with links to renovation jobs. Evgeni figured they were in for a summer of dealing with construction and mess and contractors who lie right to Sid's face because they know a mark when they see one.

Turns out, Sid wants to do some of it himself. Evgeni thinks he'd rather deal with the contractors.

Neither of them are all that comfortable in Home Depot, but Sid insists on going in person instead of ordering, and Evgeni spends his first real off-day of the summer eyeing the endless, inscrutable tools and hardware fixtures as Sid frowns at his list and gets them lost at least three times.

It's when they get to the circular saws that Evgeni finally says something.

"Sid..." he says, frowning at the sawhorse set up to demo one of the units. "Not sure this is safe, like, you're use a saw before?"

Sid's crouched down to inspect the saw blades. Evgeni takes a minute to admire the way his ass and thighs strain at his jeans.

"It's fine," Sid says, distracted and poking at the packages. "People use these all the time. And I watched a video on YouTube." He glances up at Evgeni, eyes big and imploring. "I really want to make this table, G."

Evgeni caves. He usually does. Sighing, he crouches down next to Sid, who beams at him and shoves his phone under Evgeni's nose. "Can you help me figure out which of these I need to get?"

--

Sid takes over Evgeni's concrete shooting pad in the backyard. There are piles of wood and buckets of bolts and screws and fasteners all over the place, and Sid spends every afternoon puttering around out there, measuring planks and drawing designs on the big sheets of paper he had stashed away from some other project.

Sid's shorts are all very short, and his t-shirts are getting tighter as he bulks back up after the season. It's a nice view. Evgeni's not getting much done on this summer's paper.

It doesn't seem like Sid is making progress either, though. So far, every time Evgeni glances out the window, he's only succeeded in moving around the pieces of wood.

He looks awfully cute in his safety glasses, though.

One day, the weather is nice enough that Evgeni gives up on his paper and wanders downstairs, stepping out onto the patio.

"G!" Sid beams at him, pushing his glasses up his nose. His hair is getting long, curling with sweat against his temples, and he's wearing the tightest white t-shirt he owns. Evgeni licks his lips. "Are you done with your story? Do you want to see what I'm working on?"

Evgeni shakes his head. Every summer, Sid thinks he's going to be done with his paper right away. He's stopped explaining the number of drafts he has to go through before it can even be sent to his editor. "I'm take break, it's nice out. Yes, you show. It's not look much like table though, Sid."

Sid pouts at him. "It takes time," he whines, gathering up the papers he's got scattered over the sawhorse. "Look, I have to measure out the legs, and make sure that all the pieces fit together..."

Evgeni dutifully looks over the designs. Sid's handwriting is terrible, but he's clearly put work into the numbers; there are erasemarks all over where he's corrected the measurements.

Numbers have never been Evgeni's strong suit, so he doesn't spend any time checking the figures. Either they'll work or they won't. "Looks good, Sid, I can't wait to see." He glances to the side, eyeing Sid up. "You take break too, maybe?"

Sid frowns at him. "I was just about to start cutting..." he starts, but trails off when Evgeni drops the papers and gets his hand on Sid's ass. "Oh, a break. Yeah, okay."

He makes for the door, but Evgeni catches him around the waist before he can go back inside, pulls him over to the chaise lounges next to the grill. When he knocks one of the seat cushions onto the ground and drops to his knees, Sid squeaks.

Sid's spent a lot of time outside this summer, and he's already got color, stark tan lines on his belly and thighs from his shorts. Evgeni licks over his hipbone, setting his teeth into the soft flesh there and biting down just enough to leave a mark, just enough to make Sid whine and cant his hips forward.

Getting Sid's shorts off is always a battle, but eventually Evgeni peels them down his thighs, letting them pool on the ground as he leans forward to bury his face in Sid's groin. He's warm, and he's been sweating in the afternoon heat; when Evgeni inhales, it's salty and pungent, twisting something in Evgeni's stomach and making him groan with want.

Sid twists Evgeni's hair in his fingers and tugs, not too hard, but urgently enough that Evgeni redirects his attention to Sid's dick, already hard and beading precome.

Evgeni doesn't tease. They're outside, after all, and the chair cushions are only comfortable for so long. He opens his mouth and lets Sid feed him his dick, closing his eyes to savor the taste and the heft of Sid in his mouth, listening to Sid pant and groan and whimper above him as he thrusts.

Sid's noisy when he comes, practically shouting as he spills over Evgeni's tongue, and Evgeni clenches his thighs. He's hard, he wants to come so badly, but he holds Sid's dick in his mouth, licking and sucking gently until Sid pulls away with a gasp.

"Wow," Sid says, blinking down at him. Evgeni's mouth feels swollen and used, and his dick is hard in his gym shorts.

He gets to his feet with a groan, wincing as his knees crack. He's barely gotten his balance when Sid is pushing at him, shoving him towards the door and inside the house.

Neither of them get anything done that afternoon.

--

The table turns out terribly. The legs are all the same length, but they don't fit into the top correctly, so it wobbles. The stain isn't even, too thin in some parts and textured and thick in others. One side of the top is cut at a slant.

Sid pouts over it, wants to throw it away, but Evgeni puts it in his office, on one side of his desk. A couple of folded-up index cards stops it from wobbling, and with a few blankets on top it's a perfect nest for Maverick to curl up in and nap. Sid smiles whenever he comes in and sees it, and Evgeni's caught him doodling; he thinks Sid's trying to figure out how to make a bird house.

He does make Sid take the circular saw back, though.

[andreabandrea]

The AndreaBandrea UTY post

I need some place to put my Undertale Yellow (UTY for short) thoughts & criticism, and this is my blog, so I might as well put them here. If you don't want to see constructive criticism about Undertale Yellow, don't click below the readmore!

Pretty much everyone I talk to really likes this game, and honestly, I'm really sad that I don't like it more. I like some parts of it quite a bit! But I have mixed feelings about other parts-- I think the writing and characterization could have been a little more impactful than they were, and I’ll be discussing that here. I don’t want to just rag on this game without expressing suggestions and parts that I do like in more detail, so those will be covered as well. 

I also want to add a disclaimer that I don't have negative feelings towards the development team or fans of this game in the slightest. I have nothing but respect for the creators of Undertale Yellow. This project was obviously a massive undertaking with a lot of love behind it, and I'm glad to see that it's found success and a community of people who do enjoy it. 

The reason I’m writing this post is that, again, I liked parts of this game and wish I enjoyed it more. If I didn’t like it at all, I just wouldn’t engage with it at all anymore. I also haven’t really seen any other people expressing constructive criticism on the game’s writing, so it’s felt more important for me to express these thoughts, be heard, and see if others feel the same way. 

The Good

I'll start off with the things I like. The art, the animation, and the music are all fantastic. I was very impressed by the battle backgrounds and the little touches, like the way Clover runs. Clover doing things like reaching for other’s hands, giving fistbumps, drawing their weapon, changing their expression at times-- they feel very dynamic and fun to play as.

The music is really catchy and fun. I love the iterations on the battle theme-- Snowdin’s battle theme having bells, for example. 

I also had fun with most of the fights in the game! I liked the unique mechanics that came into play (e.g. the lasso in North Star's battle). I think that changing the way Clover attacks compared to Frisk feels organic and fun. 

I also love the mail system. Ever since you could deliver and receive letters in Paper Mario 64, I’ve been hooked on mail as a storytelling system in video games. I think the letters you receive are interesting and clever, and it’s a great way to keep past characters relevant in lieu of a cell phone. 

I’m going to be discussing criticism of the characters later, so I’m going to take a moment to talk a little about things I liked about them. I really like Martlet’s optimism and belief in humans. Starlo made me laugh quite a few times and the Feisty Five have a great dynamic with each other. A lot of the background characters in the game are fun-- I like the one who serves you at the Honeydew Resort. The fact that you can go back to these vendors later on and get four new topics to talk about is fantastic and makes the world feel a lot more alive. 

The Slightly Less-Good (and more disclaimers)

The writing is where the game falls short for me-- and it’s sad for me, because the writing is the heart of Undertale. I don’t think that the writing is bad by any means! I like the characters and story well enough, but- again- I just wish that I liked them more. I’ll try to incorporate suggestions so this isn’t just a total downer post without anything backing it up. 

I want to express something about the ‘suggestions’ that I’ll be offering after the criticism. I know that Undertale Yellow  is now out, and the team isn’t going to go back and change it now, and that’s totally fine. I don’t want to make it sound as if the team should change Undertale Yellow just because I have some reservations about it. I’m just one fan out of many. In the very off chance that a member of the Undertale Yellow development team is reading this--

First of all, hi! 

Second of all, I know that changing major parts of Undertale Yellow at this point is very unrealistic, and I wouldn’t want you to. If anything, I’m honored you’re reading my ramblings at all. I’d be touched if you’d be willing to take some of my words to heart as you move onto your next creative projects.

The reason I’m including suggestions, therefore, isn’t because I think that the team should or must make these changes, but because I don’t want to just sound excessively negative about this game without offering a little feedback. 

I don’t presume that my criticism and suggestions are objectively correct or better than what the Undertale Yellow team created. This is my personal blog, and these are my personal rambly thoughts about Undertale Yellow. The reason I’m including so many disclaimers is because I’ve gotten into discourse before due to poorly thought-out posts about Undertale, and I hope to avoid that this time. I don’t want to just not post something on my own blog, though, because I’m afraid it could be misconstrued or possibly upset somebody. So, I’m trying to discuss this as carefully as I can. 

As one final disclaimer, I'll say that I know that it was more likely than not that I'd be at least a little disappointed by Undertale Yellow. The original Undertale was a very important game for me, and very little could reach that standard. (I think this is one reason why Toby decided to do Deltarune, a sort of AU/spinoff rather than a full-on "Undertale 2", and I respect that decision.) 

I also think that quite a bit of my criticism is subjective-- several of the characters didn't fully click with me and several of the jokes just didn't land for me, personally. More people than you might think just didn’t connect with the regular Undertale, either. I’ll be talking a little about my subjective opinion on characters, but I’ll try to explain why I feel the way I do rather than just say, “XYZ character sucks because they’re lame, moving on.” 

With that said, the post. I’ll be addressing my criticisms from smallest to largest. To begin, I’ll recap the plot of UTY to better analyze aspects that I do and don’t quite like. Spoilers abound.

Undertale Yellow Plot Recap!!!!

The central story of UTY, to my memory and understanding, is as follows:

In the past, a fallen human being went on a rampage in Snowdin and hurt Kanako, the daughter of Chujin, a former royal scientist and monster who happens to be a boss monster. Dalv, an unrelated monster, was also hurt in this incident and sealed himself away in the Ruins in a self-imposed isolation. Chujin’s family (presumably him or Kanako, but not Ceroba, as she doesn’t recognize Dalv) felt bad about this and left him corn from Starlo’s farm as a gift. But, when Chujin died, the corn gifts stopped coming. 

Stepping back a bit, after the incident, Chujin developed a deep hatred for humanity. He invented a security robot called Axis and told it to go kill the human. Axis did this (and we will return to this later). Chujin kept the soul (at least, for a time) to experiment on.

At some point in this, Axis failed to impress Asgore and Chujin was fired as the royal scientist. At some point as well, he began to teach Martlet how to build puzzles. Martlet got a job in the royal guard and Chujin disapproved because humans are very dangerous.  

Due to experimenting on his own boss monster soul in an attempt to find a way to turn regular monsters into boss monsters so that monsterkind could potentially stand up to the threat of humanity, Chujin wound up very ill and then passed away. He left video tapes to his wife, Ceroba, asking her to finish his research. However, he asked her to leave Kanako out of this so she could live a normal life. 

Ceroba agreed to finish this research, but Kanako found out about it and asked to be experimented on because she, like her father, has the power of a boss monster. Ceroba agreed to experiment on her, which injured Kanako and caused her to ‘fall down’. Ceroba sent the near-death Kanako to Dr. Alphys, the new royal scientist, who was collecting ‘fallen down’ monsters for her own experiments with determination. 

Plot summary over. I’ll take a closer look at some of these aspects going forward.

UTY Plot Criticism

I don’t feel like this is a bad story, necessarily. With that said, it doesn’t feel quite as tied together as Undertale’s story does, and I think certain aspects don’t land. 

First, I feel that the majority of the plot elements about Chujin & Kanako get dumped on you at the last minute. You might be thinking that the story about Chara & Asriel is also dumped on you at the last minute-- and to an extent, this is true. You do get a massive amount of information regarding their story near the end of the game, in the True Lab.

However, Chara & Asriel's story is a massive part of the narrative from the very beginning. You meet 'Asriel' (Flowey) in the very beginning of the game. Toriel is in the Ruins due to the fallout of Chara & Asriel's deaths. Asgore and the monsters are trying to kill Frisk and steal their soul because of this, and the royal guard has taken it up as their mission. Sans is aware of an anomaly that will end everything (implied to be the player), and he would have 'killed Frisk where they stand' had he not made a promise to Toriel. And so on.

I’ll be reviewing criticism of the game’s plot in sections themed around each major character. I will be discussing suggestions about each character in their respective section here, as I discuss things I didn’t quite like about each character, my suggestions are intrinsically tied to why I didn’t quite like them. 

Dalv

The connections between characters and the Chujin & Kanako plot feel a bit tenuous to me. Similarly to Toriel, Dalv is in a self-imposed isolation in the Ruins due to a major incident in his past. He fears humans due to the attack he suffered in Snowdin, and he suffers loneliness  after losing his friend (who left him corn). When he sees Clover, he wonders if this is “some sort of haunting” (implying he knows that the human who attacked him was killed). 

In the pacifist route, Clover can prove to Dalv that not all humans are evil and Dalv can move out and learn how to trust people again. This becomes a recurring theme-- Clover, pure of heart, proving to monsters that humanity isn’t that bad after all. 

However, Dalv then disappears from the story. His motivation is to basically be left alone, but once you prove to him that humanity isn’t so bad, his role in the story is essentially complete.

I feel that, by comparison, Toriel’s motivation is more active-- to protect humans who fall down from Asgore. It’s this motivation that drives her to return at the end of the true pacifist route and ultimately make the true ending of Undertale possible.

Dalv’s passiveness makes him a weaker character to me. Now that you’ve proven that you’re his friend and humanity isn’t so bad, I would have liked to have seen him take an active motivation to protect his friend or help them in some way. We don’t have to copy Undertale beat for beat and have him dramatically save Clover from Asgore or anything, but it would have been nice to see him vouch for Clover in some way at some point. 

Now, for the final time, I know that UTY is released and major changes aren’t likely. Some of my suggestions are “I would have liked to see this, but this change would require redoing the entire game,” which I don’t think should or could be done at this stage. This is just daydreaming and- if I’m praising myself highly- potential considerations for the devs’ future works (and the works of any other creatives who are reading this). 

With this proposed major change to Dalv’s character out of the way, I’ll suggest instead the most minimal possible change that I would like to see, so my suggestions don’t feel entirely like just daydreaming. 

I really like how Dalv sends Clover a letter about his moving out to Snowdin. This is active of him in terms of motivation-- Clover is his friend and he wants to keep in touch with his friend. I’d be absolutely thrilled to see a little bit of extra dialogue for him in an update. After you go back to Snowdin and see him, I think the dialogue he already has is totally fine! But, I’d be really happy if he’d take initiative and tell Clover a little more about his experience with the past human, or invite them to rely on him, too. 

Martlet

Martlet felt… a bit restrained in terms of her writing, to me. I think that one aspect of Undertale’s writing is that it’s not afraid to go over the top. Papyrus isn’t just silly, he wears a costume every day and cartoon eyes pop out of his head when he’s surprised. Undyne isn’t just determined, she aspires to be a badass anime heroine. I like Martlet just fine, but she never had a moment where she really stood out to me in this way. 

Martlet’s defining traits are that she likes puzzles, she loves reading and abiding by the rules of the royal guard, and she believes in humanity and wants to help Clover. As I said before, I really like this optimism and belief. I’d like to see more of it. 

Near the end of the true pacifist route, Martlet says that she was taught in the royal guard that humans are scary, but Clover proved to her that humans are kind. This felt very abrupt to me at the time-- we know that Chujin disapproved of her joining the royal guard due to his own trauma, but Martlet had no personal involvement in the last human’s violent actions. 

Martlet doesn’t seem to have any reason to dislike humans more than any other monster. We learn in her diary that she essentially joined the royal guard out of a desire to help people and build puzzles, and also because she needed a job. 

If she’s just supposed to be a representative of the average monster and their feelings toward humanity, and her growing to like Clover is meant to represent how all of monsterkind could grow to like humankind, that would be one thing-- but I think that she specifically is meant to represent a person who wholeheartedly believes that humans can be good and that humans and monsters can live in harmony. In the no mercy route, she repeatedly pleads to Clover to do better, that they don’t have to act this way, that she wants to help them. That’s not the response of the average monster, who fights Clover or tries to flee from them. 

I believe the intention is that Chujin & Martlet represent either end of an ideology axis (no pun intended). Chujin believes all humans are evil no matter what, but Martlet believes that humans can choose to be good. But why does she choose to believe in humans other than a sense of personal optimism? 

I would have liked to have seen some defining event that made Martlet choose to believe in the goodness of humanity. I would have liked to have her being kind and optimistic to a fault be more of a defining trait-- to have that go over the top in an Undertale-style way. A lot of her interactions with other characters just personally weren’t very memorable to me. 

Martlet spends a lot of the game sidelined. She loses you in the Mines. She gets thrown in jail in the Wild East. She has to go back to Snowdin once you're freed. Yes, she's there for you in the true pacifist route, but she's otherwise pretty absent through the neutral/true pacifist routes.

I recognize that the main characters in Undertale can be absent after you leave their respective sections of the game. However, you're able to call Papyrus & Undyne as much as you want, and you get a major hang-out (or “date”) with each of them and Alphys which gives time to expand on their backstory and character arc. Martlet doesn't get that. We even get a little bit of time to hang out with Dalv after we become his friend, but Martlet shoves us on a boat and hurries us to the next area as soon as we beat her. And sure, we get to talk to her on the boat, but it’s just a bit of silly dialogue-- it doesn’t really expand on her character. It feels like a missed opportunity. 

So, yes, my major suggestion on her would be to zoom in more on her belief in you and let her be a liiiiitle sillier and more over the top, and give more opportunity for Clover to hang out with her. 

At this stage, however? In this proposed minor ‘dialogue update’, I’d be really excited to see a little something more from her. Maybe a letter? She does send you one, but only in the neutral route to tell you to meet her on top of the apartments. It would be a good opportunity to either let her be silly or explain a bit about when she came to want to believe in humans-- or both, ideally. 

Starlo

I honestly have very little to say on Starlo. He seems to be the fan favorite, and I did find his section fun! Ultimately, though, he's just kind of… there? I mean, he's on the periphery of Ceroba's (and Chujin and Kanako’s) story because he's her childhood friend (and his family grew the corn that Chujin gives to Dalv), and yes, he later on reminds her that she can still choose to be a better person because he also almost killed Clover! However, every monster in the game almost killed Clover.

There’s nothing wrong with having a silly character who wears a costume and isn’t a major player in the plot. I feel like Starlo is similar to Papyrus in this way. But Papyrus isn’t just a goofball, he’s the monster in Undertale who believes unerringly in Frisk & the player’s ability to do better because he firmly believes that you can make anything happen if you just try. This belief helps elevate Papyrus from comic relief to an actual rounded character. 

I don’t feel like Starlo has any sort of strong conviction like that. We do learn that he wants to bring hope to the Underground by roleplaying as a sheriff in the Wild East town, giving them a slice of (supposed) surface life. I think this is fine, but I’d like to see a bit more of it. In the no mercy route, he does bravely stand against you because he’s a sheriff and it’s his job to bring justice to murderers like Clover. 

My expectation when I first met him, a fellow cowboy (gender-neutral), was that he’d have his own ideas about justice. I expected that he would clash with Clover about these ideals, and neither of them would be quite right or wrong-- and this would prove that justice can’t be measured mathematically, and one outcome can’t be applied to all situations. 

But, he’s not at all bad the way he is. He has a lot of fans, after all. The minor change I’d suggest now that the game is out is that I’d be interested in learning why the cowboy aesthetic specifically appealed to him. Maybe a diary in his room explaining that Westerns are the epitome of ‘justice’ to him? I’d like to see a peek into the motivation that transformed an ordinary farm boy into someone who could bravely stand against a murderous human. 

Ceroba

I’ll be honest. I want to like Ceroba, but I don’t.

I understand that there's an attempt to mirror Asgore in that the war against humanity, in general, has taken Ceroba's partner and her child from her-- and ultimately, Clover forgives her and helps her learn how to move on. It's about letting go, just like Undertale. I get that. But Ceroba’s story doesn't land for me, personally. In order to talk about Ceroba, I need to talk about her husband, Chujin, because Ceroba spends so much of the story acting out Chujin's will. 

Whereas monsters in Undertale do attempt to kill Frisk and steal their soul, and Asgore has killed other children before, it's framed in a very 'video game' violence sort of way (again, Undertale has these meta elements). Ultimately, in the True Pacifist route, none of Frisk's deaths have stuck, and Asgore's actions- while reprehensible- allowed for Asriel to break the barrier once and for all.

Chujin, in the video tapes he leaves for Ceroba, implies that Axis’s murder of the human- presumably a child, like Clover and Frisk- was very violent and bloody. It feels a tiny step beyond the 'video game violence' aspect, for me. While it’s shown that Chujin regrets this, it still doesn’t change the way that this violence is expressed in the game. 

Instead of giving the human’s soul right to Asgore to bring monsterkind closer to freedom, Chujin- who has already been fired by Asgore, I should add- chooses to keep the soul and experiment with it.

This is very selfish, even though he has good intentions. He’s told nobody else about his experiments with his soul at this point- not even his wife- and Asgore has told him to cease all activities as the royal scientist. 

While monsters do want Frisk's soul for their own selfish reasons, they notably do not butcher them violently, succeed in this, and still try to get painted with the same quirky and fun brush that the other characters get. 

After Chujin dies, he leaves detailed instructions for his wife to continue his work-- and although he says "don't involve Kanako", he leaves her all the tools she would need to experiment on Kanako, and notably, no other way to finish his work except to experiment on Kanako.

As I said, Kanako finds out about this and asks to be experimented on. And while she does give consent, she is a child. I cannot stress this enough-- she is a child who just lost her father and is still wracked by grief. Kanako is a child who cannot possibly know what she is consenting to. 

Ceroba chooses to experiment on Kanako and more or less kills her. And then she chooses to send her 'fallen down' daughter to Alphys's experiment, despite the fact that Kanako presumably has some sort of trace of human soul/determination left in her-- which could have compromised Alphys's work as well.

Let's return to how I said that Ceroba is a mirror for Asgore. She's made so many mistakes and it's cost her her family and she can't stop now or it will all be for nothing. She's done horrible things, just like Asgore.

But the difference is that Asgore is the king of monsterkind. Asgore has no desire to kill human beings. He declared war on humanity in a fit of anger and grief, but the Underground had lost hope due to the loss of Chara & Asriel. Believing that Asgore could gather seven human souls and free them all brought hope back to the Underground.

His actions, while wrong, are selfless-- and much less explicitly violent and more 'cartoon violence'-like. Chujin & Ceroba have the well-being of monsterkind as their own pure intentions, but their actions are far more selfish and violent. Axis, Chujin’s creation, massacred a human being. Yet we're still expected to find them silly and fun and relatable-- it just feels unusual.

I’m not someone who hates nuance or morally gray characters. One reason I’m so sad that I don’t quite like Ceroba is that I love morally gray women. It’s just that we’re not allowed to really dislike Chujin or Ceroba for what they’ve done, and instead we’re supposed to see Ceroba- and Axis- as silly and relatable like the rest of the characters. 

Immediately after Ceroba’s boss battle, instead of processing what just happened to a greater extent, Clover chooses to sacrifice their soul for monsterkind. 

I understand that the intention is that Ceroba's grief and Chujin's desperation to protect monsters from humanity contributed to Clover's decision to sacrifice their soul. However, the idea is- to me- abrupt. Ultimately, too, Clover's decision is just as much about how much they love their friends (and how it's impossible for them to hide out in the Underground forever) as it is about Ceroba and her family.

Chara & Asriel’s deaths, Asgore’s war on humanity, the war of humans and monsters-- these elements impact every part of Frisk’s journey. But Chujin and Ceroba’s actions, while impactful on Martlet and Dalv to varying extents, are only part of Clover’s journey. And Chujin and Ceroba did awful things for this comparatively minor impact on the plot. 

EDIT: Further analysis about how Ceroba doesn't have a lot of agency and spends a lot of the plot just acting out Chujin's will, as well as the inconsistency in her characterization (and feelings about sacrificing Clover and the well-being of Kanako), with input from @carlyraejepsans. Thank you!

I would have liked to have seen a bit more from Ceroba without any influence from Chujin- maybe an interaction explaining her relationship with Martlet and an additional conversation about Martlet’s nearly unwavering belief in humans vs Ceroba’s inherited grudge against humanity- but I don’t know where this would fit in. Adding more time for Clover to process Ceroba’s boss fight before sacrificing their soul might throw off the pacing. 

In general, though, Ceroba's boss fight- while flashy and fun- ultimately feels pointless with how little she learns from it and how quickly she changes her stance on using Clover's soul for the benefit of monsterkind, and what will happen to monsters after they break the barrier. To quote @carlyraejepsans in the ask linked above:

In addition, it's like the writing didn't want to commit to her delusions and little character development. She feels that her daughter is alive and thinks she can save her—wait no that was a lie—wait it wasn't. The moment she's defeated she goes "Agh, what was I thinking!" out loud (which is already a questionable writing choice imo but i digress), and recognizes that sacrificing Clover for her plans is horrible... and then 5 seconds later Clover chooses to sacrifice themself to break the barrier and whoops nevermind she's suddenly the one getting the others onboard with the idea... wait. didn't she say she was making the serum because the humans would've only slaughtered them again if they broke the barrier? oh wait wasn't that also chujin again? whoops.

I would have felt better if there were more room to view Chujin and Ceroba in a critical light (and time to view Ceroba outside of just being a mom and wife). I can’t think of any ‘minor’ suggestion that wouldn’t require a lot of editing. 

Axis…

And... okay. Let's talk about Axis real quick.

I want to give the dev team the benefit of the doubt, but I need to point out that this security robot's name is "Axis 014." If you don't know what I mean by pointing this out, I'll just say that both of these terms are nazi dog whistles and allow you to look up the specifics.

I recognize that, by this point, it’s too late to change his name. I’d at least be grateful if the team would acknowledge this and confirm that they aren’t nazis. 

Axis’s name makes his actions far worse in retrospect. He, as a security robot wants to kill a child, but he isn't able to anymore because his programming has changed. So, as a legal loophole, he forces them to hold 'a weapon' (a trash can lid) so he can justifiably kill them. This is the same robot that brutalized and murdered a human being in the past at Chujin's behest.

It feels tone deaf and ultimately the one thing I’d just outright call bad about UTY. I don’t think it was intentionally done this way, but I don't like that we're supposed to find this nazi-aesthetic police brutality robot "quirky and relatable" like the Undertale cast. In the true pacifist ending, he falls in love with a robot made out of a trash can and his eyes turn into cartoon hearts and etc. It’s even more jarring than viewing Chujin & Ceroba in a fun/relatable way. 

In the no mercy route, Axis will defend himself and claim that his programming forced him to kill the human and he didn't want to. This "just following orders" defense feels weak to me as well, personally. Axis clearly delights in harming humans, going out of his way to try to kill Clover. But also, Axis spends a significant amount of the game displaying a very similar amount of free will to the other characters. He’s not just a janitor robot that sweeps back and forth. 

He’s a nearly sentient being-- and the fact that there are these nearly sentient robots makes Alphys’s accomplishment of creating “a robot with a soul” (at least, so she claims-- Mettaton is only the ghost in a machine) much less impactful to me, personally. Yes, Asgore thinks that Chujin failed in creating a sentient robot, and so it’s impressive that Alphys supposedly did it. But I don’t know why Asgore wouldn’t be more skeptical of Alphys’s accomplishment after Chujin failed more than eight times and set fire to his flowers. 

I think that Axis is ultimately a missed opportunity to make a really villainous character. This concept that he disobeys his programming- used as sort of a parallel for law, as a security robot- to attack Clover could have been explored to further the ‘justice’ theme. He doesn’t write his programming (the laws), he just carries it out (violently enforces the laws). 

The ‘minor’ suggestion I’d make, though, is to just acknowledge the name. 

Undertale & Meta Elements

Now, we’ll be addressing my largest criticisms-- the omission of meta elements and the way Flowey is written.

Undertale Yellow never quite stopped feeling like a fan game to me. And it is, of course-- but I think that it feels as if it tries so hard to be Undertale (in the writing style, the humor, etc) that it fails to forge an identity of its own, and that holds it back from being just a fangame to a fangame that succeeds in expanding on the original creative work. 

At the same time, although UTY tries to feel like Undertale, I don’t think it captures certain elements that make Undertale be Undertale. 

Whereas Undertale was ultimately about video games as a medium and the normalization of violence in them, UTY doesn’t have this level of metatextual commentary. UTY does have a running theme of 'justice'-- and I don’t think this is bad! After all, if Undertale already said all there was to say about video games and violence, why retread that path? I respect that UTY knows its limits and simply focuses on justice as a concept instead.

At the same time, Undertale isn’t just an RPG about mercy-- it’s an RPG about RPGs. The fact that you can talk to and spare enemies isn’t just a quirk of the game, it’s what the game is about. This is one thing that makes Undertale great that UTY doesn’t focus on.  

UTY doesn’t completely ignore these elements, of course. Flowey takes over resetting for you, and you do have three distinct paths based on whether or not you kill enemies-- the ‘true pacifist’ path, the ‘neutral’ path, and the ‘no mercy’ path (I will not be calling it the ‘genocide’ route, especially in light of recent world events). Through whether or not you choose to kill enemies, the theme of ‘justice’ is explored-- who is Clover seeking justice for? In the true pacifist route, Clover seeks justice for the monsters, while in the no mercy route, Clover seeks justice for the fallen humans before them. 

However, Flowey taking over the mechanics of saving and resetting for you makes concept of ‘the player’ obsolete. I recognize that not everyone in the Undertale/Deltarune fandom quite enjoys the concept of 'the player' and the meta elements of these games due to the fact that there can be implications that playing Deltarune (as an example, which ups the meta elements quite a bit) can actively hurt Kris and make their world a worse place. However, Deltarune isn’t a complete work and we don’t know this for certain. Additionally, I feel as if at least acknowledging Toby's intentions are important to analyzing the work, no matter what one's personal feelings are about them.

The Importance of the Player

The presence of you, the player, is important in Undertale. Frisk is a subversion of the 'blank slate protagonist' trope. You think that you're able to name them and control them, but in the True Pacifist route, Frisk begins to act on their own (they walk slowly in some parts of the True Lab because they're presumably afraid, etc). In the end, you realize that Frisk is their own person with their own name, and you as the player have to let go-- when Frisk & the monsters go to the surface, Flowey (a mirror of the player themselves) urges you to let them go. Don't treat this as a game anymore-- don't replay and wring out any last drops of content you can. You enjoyed it, now move on.

But many players want to see the No Mercy route because it’s the last thing they haven’t done in the game, and they don’t want to let go. And that's where the role of you, the player, becomes undeniable in the game's story. What is the No Mercy route except playing a 'typical' RPG in the way it's meant to be played? You grind to become stronger, killing every enemy that stands in your way. And when you've killed all the monsters and become as strong as you can be, you've won.

Many players didn't do this because they hate the characters in Undertale and want to hurt them-- if they hate them, they likely just wouldn't play the game. Many players did it because they like the characters in Undertale, and wanted to see what would happen. They couldn't stop playing. And this is exactly what Sans means in his dialogue during his boss battle-- to paraphrase, "you think that because you can, that means you have to."

This is one of the ways that Flowey is a mirror of the player. Flowey didn't start killing out of malicious intent, but because he had become so bored and isolated that he just "had to see what happens".

Chara's role at the very end of the No Mercy route is to call you out directly for this. They tell you that their power was yours. Their words were very misconstrued by fans for a long time, and they themselves wound up as a scapegoat for the No Mercy route-- but ultimately, there's no reason for Chara or Frisk to kill every monster in the Underground. The only reason is because of you, personally. You want to see what would happen. You want to grind and play it like a typical RPG.

They call you out for this if you don't want to delete the game world at the end. Why go back to that world that you've already destroyed? Why play nice with the monsters that you just massacred because you can?

Why am I talking about this at such length? Because I believe that ‘the player’ and how they interact with the world of Undertale is important. Characters lampshade the UI and battle mechanics often-- Flowey talking about the world as a game and ‘saving’ and ‘loading’, Papyrus telling you to “press C to open the dating HUD”, Sans explaining ‘LV’ and ‘EXP’, and so on.

This is my personal opinion, and I recognize this is very nitpicky, but I feel that not acknowledging this or adding to these meta elements in some way makes UTY weaker for me. 

Flowey’s Role in UTY

Flowey essentially saves and resets for you because he's bored, and he wants to use Clover as a tool to access Asgore’s five stored human souls. His role as a mirror for the player becomes him essentially just acting as a stand-in for the player. While this in itself can invite self-reflection, I think that the execution of his role is a little awkward. 

We learn at the end of the neutral route that Flowey has already reset the timeline hundreds of times by the time we first start playing the game. According to him, Clover always ends up at a dead end (they choose to stay in the Underground for the rest of their life) or they die (and they can’t reset of their own power). Thus, Flowey chose to set Clover on an alternate path by sabotaging a lever in the Ruins, which made them fall into the Dark Ruins and meet Dalv.

Flowey then tries to kill Clover and absorb their soul because they, again, hit a dead end. Yet he gives up on it after a while because Clover won’t stop fighting back, and he thinks he can just reset and try again anyway. 

At the end of the true pacifist route, Clover instead opts to sacrifice their soul willingly to Asgore & monsterkind. Flowey comments that he could just reset (and you still can, if you want to play again), but Clover “earned their rest” and he calls them a friend. 

This progression from “Clover is a tool that Flowey is using to access the 5 human souls” to “Clover is a friend and Flowey willingly lets them die and stay dead” feels undeserved and underdeveloped to me. 

"But, Andrea," you might say, "Flowey went from trying to kill Frisk as Omega/Photoshop Flowey to hugging Frisk as Asriel really quickly too!"

Yes, but in that short time, Frisk and Flowey/Asriel had a Whole Thing where Frisk 'saved' him like everyone else and he learned he needs to let go, too. It was a short time, but it was a poignant time. By contrast, Flowey is pretty much absent throughout most of UTY's true pacifist route. Sure, you could easily say that he just got bored of Clover and gave up-- but that, too, doesn’t feel quite right to me. 

I really hate to say this, but I feel that Flowey’s writing in UTY cheapens the original Undertale for me, which is why this is one of my major criticisms of the game. 

Flowey's entire character arc in Undertale is about how he was stuck with the same places and same people for an endless amount of resets. In my opinion, the limited amount of places and characters for him to interact with in Undertale only adds to how trapped he is (and the Underground being so small really strengthens the concept of "there's overpopulation and the monsters are running out of time to find a solution/earn their freedom" that we see in the game, but I digress).

So when something finally changes and he meets Frisk, it's deeply impactful to him. Finally, someone new to play with! Finally, potential for change! Even though Flowey admits that, even if Chara came back, there's a great chance that he couldn't really love them due to his lack of soul, just experiencing something new for the first time in ages is as close to love as he can possibly get. So Flowey:

Starts to believe that Frisk is Chara, this person he ‘loves’ or wants to love, or some manifestation of Chara. 

Refuses to let Frisk go, even if that means- when Asriel has the power of seven human souls- just resetting the Undertale timeline over and over instead of going to the surface or doing anything else.

For Flowey to have gone through everything that he does in UTY- all these new places, all these new people, Clover included- weakens this, in my opinion. And sure, there's very heavily implied to be lots of places that Frisk doesn't explore and people they don't meet-- 99% of New Home and its residents, for instance. But Clover themselves is the real problem for me.

No matter how many times Flowey reset with Clover, I really struggle to believe that he would get bored of a human being that easily. He even said that Clover's actions and choices would sometimes change from reset to reset, and he only recently learned how dramatically he could alter their path by sabotaging that lever in the Ruins. Clover isn't a static being-- and even if they were, they're at least a new static being.

And although we learn in the neutral route that Flowey can't really absorb Clover's soul because they fight back too much, I can't believe that would stop Flowey so easily. What about at the end of the pacifist route, where Clover has given it up willingly and it's being transported in a little jar? Clover’s body is separated from the soul, now-- could Clover still fight back?

Or, what about if Flowey tried to kill them as soon as they entered the Ruins? Or, what if Flowey played nice the entire route and then at the end tried to convince Clover that if they sacrificed their soul, he would take it to Asgore for them? With access to full control of the timeline, I don't think Flowey would give up on this. We learn in Undertale how painful it is for him to be soulless and how desperate he is to access power so that things will change.

For Flowey to acknowledge Clover as a 'friend'- maybe even a true person, not just a compilation of dialogue- suggests character growth. It suggests remorse for his resets that he isn't capable of having and doesn't have until the events of Undertale. I just don't feel like it’s earned. 

Flowey is, of course, an unreliable narrator. 

At the end of the no mercy route of UTY, Flowey expresses that he never saw Clover as a friend-- he only enjoyed watching them die over and over again. It should be noted that this was said while under extreme duress (Clover is LV 20 by this point and has killed everyone save for Asgore), and this route isn’t canon in the way that the neutral and pacifist routes are. 

With that said, if we agree that Flowey can’t feel love as a soulless being, then I could argue that this is about as much of a ‘friend’ as anyone could be. This is how he wanted to keep Frisk (“Chara”, in his mind) for eternity when he had the six human souls + the entirety of monsterkinds’ souls-- just watch them try over and over again, for eternity. 

Why am I contradicting myself? Because, let’s suppose that Flowey doesn’t mean Clover is a ‘friend’ in the traditional sense- that they earned his respect and he cares for them in some way- but Clover is a new toy that he got bored with and gave up on. I feel like this, too, makes Undertale a little weaker. 

If Flowey did have some type of positive regard for Clover, but was willing to let them go, then it feels- to me- like Frisk’s role in his story isn’t that significant. Frisk helped him learn how to let go and move on, but Flowey has already demonstrated being capable of this. The circumstances are different- if Flowey gives up at the end of Undertale’s true pacifist route, it’s over for real, whereas if he gives up at the end of UTY, he can just wait for another human to fall- but I feel like the core feeling is the same. Flowey, by the start of Undertale, doesn’t strike me as someone who’s capable of letting go. 

So, how would I have changed this?

I recognize that- again- Undertale already made these points about video games and violence, and Flowey has his entire character arc in that game. For Flowey to have more of an arc in this game would potentially make this game no longer line up with canon Undertale or weaken Undertale further. And why retread old ground that Undertale already talked about?

I respect the decision to tell a self-contained story, but the meta commentary about video games in Undertale is so significant for me that I personally would have liked to see a bit more of it in Undertale Yellow. I also recognize how much of my criticism of Flowey’s writing in UTY is subjective. It feels unrealistic for me, his arc feels abrupt for me, it makes Undertale less poignant for me. 

A lot of people love his inclusion in this game, and it’s very novel to see Flowey as a friend throughout most of UTY and hear his snarky commentary on demand rather than having him as an enemy who’s absent through most of the game, as he is in Undertale. 

The Flowey Suggestions

First, I’ll be honest. I know this is not and has never been possible, but my easiest solution to the dilemma of Flowey’s lack of a character arc- and the lack of an ability to give him a character arc- would have been to just remove him from UTY. 

I think that Flowey’s inclusion in the story of the yellow soul human and his role saving and loading could have been interesting. It goes against certain story elements implied in Undertale, and popular fan theories-- and I don’t mind that, if something meaningful is done with it. But, I feel as if Flowey’s relationship to Clover isn’t impactful enough to justify including him. 

To clarify on ‘implied story elements’ and ‘popular fan theories’: 

While I might be misremembering, I thought that it was implied in Undertale that Flowey came into being after Asgore had already collected six human souls, and that a significant amount of time had passed since the last human had fallen down. 

I won’t go into it at length because this post is long enough and I, again, am not an Undertale expert. With that said, it’s also implied that all human souls are capable of saving/loading/resetting in the Underground. If you make Frisk tell Asgore that he killed them before, he just nods as if he’s used to it-- and he’s the one character who we know has killed humans before.

Now, how did Asgore successfully kill beings that can just reset the game whenever they die? Well, Sans faces the same dilemma in Undertale’s no mercy route. There’s no way that he can permanently defeat you, the player, who is a real being. Therefore, the way he ‘wins’ is by infuriating you enough with his difficult boss fight until you give up and stop playing Undertale (or, at least, reset and make better choices). 

Think about all the times you’ve played a game, got stuck on a hard boss, and never played it again. While it’s not ‘canon’ to the story- giving up on your copy of Mario doesn’t mean Bowser really wins- functionally, giving up on a game means that the story ends for you. This is how I believe Asgore captured the six human souls, even if they were also capable of resetting like Frisk is-- he fought them until they gave up.

Humans all are said to have great amounts of ‘determination’, not just red soul bearers. We don’t even know what trait the red soul exemplifies. Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s determination itself. 

The bottom line is that I don’t think it would be unrealistic for Clover to be able to save/load/reset on their own, or for Flowey to not exist yet during the time they fell down. 

But, I get it, Flowey was in UTY’s demo that has been out for seven years. He’s in the trailers. He couldn’t be removed at any part of development, and he sure as hell can’t be removed now. 

My second suggestion would have been to zoom in on him, instead. While the prequel is about Clover, the yellow soul human, I would have liked to see it be about Flowey in a significant way. I kept hoping for Clover to have an opportunity to ask Flowey at some point, “why are you helping me, anyway?”.

This is my personal interpretation, but I’ve come to believe that Flowey thinks that the reason he’s stuck as a flower is that it’s a punishment. Because he, as Asriel, refused to fight back, he failed Chara, and now they’re dead. Now he’s stuck as a rinky-dink flower with no soul, he can’t love his former family, and he can’t stop playing this game. 

In the no mercy route of Undertale, Flowey feels very much like he’s trying to appeal to Frisk- the person he believes is Chara- in a way like a younger sibling trying to impress an older sibling. He says he’s impressed by how you killed everyone. He helps solves puzzles so you won’t have to slow down. He brags to you about how he’s also a heartless killer. 

Notably, he talks about his past. He tells ‘Chara’ that he was afraid to start killing, at first. He said he wouldn’t enjoy it, but he just had to know what would happen.

Then, Flowey laughs and says that you (Chara) know how liberating it is to be this way-- to kill people and shape their fates. He ‘recognizes’ Frisk as being actually Chara because of how they killed everyone in the Ruins. 

But we have no indication that Chara was a violent or evil person in their life. I believe that Flowey is partially projecting and partially recognizes Chara because, in the last moments of their life, they were telling him to kill. He always knew that Chara hated humanity and wanted power to better the position of monsterkind. This is why Flowey brags about how he has a plan to get the human souls, and once they do so, they can go to the surface and “finish what [they] started.” 

To Flowey, in my opinion, killing people isn’t just about seeing what happens. It’s about trying to understand and appease Chara and doing what he thinks he should have done all that time ago, as Asriel. 

I bring this up because I think that I would have liked to have seen this be explored in Undertale Yellow. Flowey is still a very misunderstood character today due to being an unreliable narrator. I believe that a lot of Flowey misinterpretations are due to taking him at face value-- hearing him say that he’s an unfeeling, manipulative, patient killer and agreeing with him.

But Flowey contradicts himself at several points. He gives up his “catch these friendliness pellets” trick after you dodging just a few times. These aren’t the makings of a perfect manipulative killer, but an impatient child. That’s who Flowey is at his core-- a child. 

I recognize that, again, if Flowey told all of his tragic backstory to Clover and they became true friends, this wouldn’t fit with canon Undertale and his actions in that game. Flowey and Asriel distance themselves from each other, and it wouldn’t make sense for Flowey to tell this to Clover-- especially if he just views them as a tool to use and play with. 

I think, however, it wouldn’t have been impossible for Clover to have learned this information about Flowey in a way that could still be canon compliant with Undertale itself. Hypothetically, maybe the “hopes and dreams” statue in the UG Apartments near the Core could have sparked intrigue in Flowey. 

Maybe analysis of Flowey could have come up during his neutral route boss fight-- after all, Clover appears to peek into the minds of Ceroba and Martlet during the true pacifist and no mercy run boss fights, respectively. We already get a little of this- Clover has to run through a hallway of flowers in Flowey’s boss fight, and we hear sad and scared dialogue that’s presumably from a past version of Flowey himself. However, it’s not necessarily new and doesn’t quite add to Flowey’s character in my personal opinion.

I feel that including Flowey’s story more in some way would justify having Flowey in the game, and knowing the history of Asriel & Chara could factor into Clover’s decision to give up their soul for the sake of monsterkind. Chara, too, sacrificed themselves willingly, after all. 

I don’t have a ‘realistic suggestion’ that could be implemented with a dialogue update because these suggestions are so vast-- and, ultimately, very personal and subjective. I have very strong feelings about Flowey.

Meta Elements of Undertale 

In Undertale, you’re asked when you should or shouldn’t fight. As a pacifist, you can get through the Ruins without killing anyone. Flowey will then ask you what you would do if you met a relentless killer. Would you betray your morals and fight? Or would you give up and let yourself die?

Undertale is the friendly RPG where nobody has to die. While you have to kill Asgore at least once to do the neutral route, and you do have to fight back against Omega/Photoshop Flowey to end his battle, the game ultimately posits that there never is a good time to fight. You don’t beat Omega Flowey by being stronger than him, you do it by appealing to the souls and allowing them to rebel. You don’t beat God of Hyperdeath Asriel Dreemurr by beating him up, you do it by saving your friends- him included. The game, again, is about an inversion of the necessity of violence in video games to me.

I would have been interested in seeing an exploration of when it is necessary to fight, and this could be done through the lens of ‘justice’. Would Clover fight if it brought them closer to justice (on a pacifist route)? Is it morally correct to kill one person if it saves thousands? 

Sparing someone is always the correct option in Undertale. In that way, the true route is quite linear-- there’s one solution that works for everyone. What if there were situations in UTY in which there is no single correct option that works for everyone? What if Clover were placed in situations in which they had to act as arbiter and decide between two outcomes and what is right? It could have been like how they get forced to solve the trolley problem in the Wild East, but with consequences. 

Adding to putting a ‘twist’ on the elements that Undertale introduces with its combat system-- what if sparing someone ultimately enabled them to keep hurting others? What if fighting to weaken someone was the correct solution for once? These inversions could have built on the meta elements of Undertale, and I think that it would make Clover’s decision to sacrifice themselves to bring justice to monsterkind more poignant to me.

Again, I have no ‘realistic’ suggestion for this in the full release of UTY. I think that the plot about justice alone isn’t bad, but I would have been happy to see it tie into the gameplay a little more. 

Conclusion

Ultimately, I think that UTY tries too hard to be Undertale without iterating on the aspects that made Undertale memorable. The characters feel like they fail to pop or relate to the game’s story in meaningful ways, and to me, the main story isn’t executed as well as it could have been (and far darker than the main Undertale in ways that don’t feel as if they’re handled sensitively). 

I will say, again, that this project is very impressive in scope, and I applaud the dev team for finishing it and releasing it. I recognize that a lot of my distaste is subjective, and creating another Undertale is a fool's errand considering the acclaim that Undertale got. I recognize one final time that my suggestions are just daydreaming, and this game has already found a lot of success-- which I think it deserves.

I tend to criticize a lot of media I like, which might sound contradictory to some, but it makes perfect sense to me. If I don’t like something, I won’t engage with it. I think that the original Undertale has its flaws, too. At the end of the day, I like UTY, but no media is perfect. This is how I think it could have been better, and I hope that I think other creatives who want to make Undertale fanworks (or any creative works, for that matter) will take these thoughts into consideration.

Thanks for reading.

[mama-qwerty]

a curious question I want to ask you, what do you think of a au where Eclipse was raised alongside Shadow and Maria on the Ark and Eclipse's creation was sort of a power balance between the ultimate lifeform in Project Shadow also what do you think of the sibling dynamic with Maria, Shadow and Eclipse be like?

Oh, that's an interesting question.

I could see Eclipse being the weapon Black Doom wanted Gerald to make in the first place. Maybe the Black Arms scientists don't have an adequate 'imagination' to create a bio-weapon, so BD enlisted the help of Gerald to do so. Gerald used full strength Black Arms DNA to create Eclipse, and the darkling is essentially exactly what BD wanted in Shadow.

Shadow, however, was Gerald's pet project. He snuck a teeny bit of Black Arms DNA and merged it with the DNA from a quill he found on one of his off-world expeditions, and ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, Shadow was born. He was meant to be Maria's protector, her savior, her emotional support animal. And he performed exactly as Gerald wanted. The unlimited chaos energy and other powers were secondary and a little unexpected, honestly.

Shadow and Maria are thick and thieves, always together and learning and snuggling and sharing an emotional bond stronger than any Gerald had seen before. He's so pleased with himself for Shadow's success.

Eclipse . . . doesn't understand it. Black Arms are not known for their emotional attachments, or their need for connection past the hive mind link that delivers orders. But Eclipse doesn't have a hive mind link. He's separated enough from the Comet that he hasn't connected to it, and thus, is alone. Gerald makes sure to keep him separated from Shadow and the rest of the Ark, because he's a product created specifically for BD. And maybe Gerald's having a little moral dilemma for creating something that could pose a threat to Earth and everything he holds dear.

So Eclipse spends his days alone in the lab. Enduring test after test. He watches the comings and goings, but ultimately doesn't know how to feel regarding all this.

And maybe Maria and Shadow sneak into the lab one night, after everyone else has gone to bed. And they sit before Eclipse's tank. Maybe Shadow can hear Eclipse's thoughts, and tries to reach out to him, let him know he's not alone.

And Eclipse's eyes snap open at the first feel of Shadow's thoughts in his mind. The two stare at each other, sending messages back and forth, while Maria looks on, keeping watch to make sure they're not caught.

Maybe this becomes a nightly ritual for them, and soon the all become closer. Maria and Shadow reach out to Eclipse, trying to include him in games and fun things. As much as they can, anyway.

And Eclipse starts to understand this connection. This need for companionship. This desire to form bonds with others.

And the three become close.

Then Black Doom arrives to retrieve his weapon.

Gerald tries to buy time. "It's not ready," he claims. "I'm still running tests." BD doesn't buy it and orders his warriors to attack, to take that which he deemed created in his name. The Ark is overrun. Maria and Shadow try to get Eclipse out of there, but they can't. Maria is injured, and Shadow drags her to the escape pod. She shoves him in instead, insisting that he's the only one who can stop the Black Arms, should they get to Earth. She sends him away.

Eclipse finds Maria as she's hidden herself in a dark corner. She's fading, and he sits with her as she draws her last breath.

Eclipse looks toward the chute where Shadow's pod was ejected. The warriors are coming. He gently lays Maria down, and leaps through the ejection tube, heading down to Earth to find his brother.

[jojoseames]

How did you come up with the story of The Makeshift Man? Also, Elvis is one of my favorite buns of all time right next to Fiver from Watership Down. Did Watership Down have any influence on the creation of Elvis?

Aaaaaah, you've made my day!

So, I'd started doing webcomics when I was in high school. And like most teens just starting out in the artform, I wasn't sure what kind of a cartoonist I really was, or rather, what kind of cartoonist I wanted to be. I was doing this long-form black-and-white screwball romantic comedy thing, right? And after a few years, I just hated it. I didn't like working in black and white for that project when I was thinking of all the scenes in full color. I didn't like character designs that I now had to just live with. I didn't like how tired the tropes I was playing with felt. I just hated working on it, and kept not drawing my comic because I'd discovered a love of painting, and kept just wanting to do that instead.

So, after wrestling for a long while with the guilt of disappointing the few very kind readers I had, I gave myself permission to abandon that book. And start a new project.

This new comic was one I was going to design from the ground up with all my own preferences at the forefront. I was going to do it in color, and I was going to paint it in watercolor because it turns out that that's my favorite medium to work in. I wanted to do something supernatural, and something that was maybe a noir, maybe a western. Something moody, in contrast to the screwball comedy I'd been doing for so long.

My only goal was to do a short story, a single issue. And if I liked it, I could then do a follow-up. I hit on the notion that if I ended up liking it enough to do multiple issues, then I could do it as a series of short stories. That would give me the freedom to do the series for as long as I wanted to, or I could wrap it up and conclude it fairly easily at any point.

So I developed from there. I was going to do a series of stories about a nameless stranger who rolls into town in different places. That would mean every issue could be in a different location, with a different color palette, and I could change genres every issue as well, to keep myself from getting bored. I made the character immortal, too, which served the double purpose of letting me do stories in different time periods as well as locations, and would let me just absolutely put this guy through the wringer. (My love of Deadpool comics was part of my inspiration for this latter point.) This is all to make it as fun and interesting for myself as possible. Letting this project be really self-indulgent.

I gave myself really only two limitations:

No cartoon devices. No speed lines, no impact bursts, no stars or birdies circling the head after an injury. All dynamism would have to be achieved through basic positioning. Every panel would have to be like a photograph. (Inspiration for this technique came from Dave Gibbons' work on "Watchmen".) This was done to give the book a subliminal sense that it's in a grounded, realistic world, so that when weird things started happening, they would feel more like they stood out as unnatural and surprising within the context of the story.

No ghost stories. If my main character is immortal, then I wanna make him wrestle with that, in a way that death is not portrayed as a different form of being present in the world, but exists as a full removal of a person from the world, and that that is a thing that eludes my protagonist.

So, yeah, the project came about. And I designed a main character who I would personally never get tired of drawing.

I discovered after the first issue that I didn't like giving him an internal monologue in caption boxes, though. And that I'd prefer a storytelling format where exposition is delivered through dialogue and environment. I needed my guy to have someone to talk to. I needed a Robin to his Batman. So I decided to give him a sidekick who would exist in contrast to him, all chipper, friendly outgoingness and soft shapes in relief to his sullen introversion and sharp edges.

And I love bunnies. They're my favorite animal. I had several pet rabbits when I was a child, and I love them so. Elvis is based especially on my childhood pet, Patch, who was a tiny little cross-breed Netherland dwarf and Dutch rabbit with a feisty personality. So this is another character I'd never get tired of drawing.

Hence, Elvis.

And yes, Richard Adams' "Watership Down" was absolutely an influence! It's one of my all-time favorite books, and I've never counted, but it's certainly the single novel I've read the most times. The idea that there are all these different societies in the world that coexist, each with their unique perspectives, priorities, histories, and senses of logic...That's very much a theme I'm going for in my own book, and a lot of that concept was sparked by "Watership Down".

[kosmicdream]

I got this ask on curiouscat but.. the site wont let me post my reply?? so i just decided to put it here since i dont get a lot of questions these days. so i like to answer them when i actually have something more to say. this one also went kinda off topic but w/e.

==

Q: How do you keep the motivation to work on all your long comics? I always start and then abandon a project cause another distracts me or I feel unsatisfied with the result... I admire your commitment so much!

===

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. But don’t get too discouraged.. I get distracted too! I currently have 9 ongoing comic projects with 2 more i eagerly want to start drawing, and at least a dozen concepts on the backburner that have been around for sometimes over a decade. I think that what I’ve found, is that starting a new comic takes so much time. It takes a lot of time to get a story really rolling, time to learn how to draw the story how you want and in a weird way - having a longer comic you’ve had more experience with, you can pull a lot more things from. I generally find that FFAK and NRD are much easier comics for me to work on because of all those years of experience with them. But it still can get demoralizing if i focus too much on the faults or how long I still have to go. Sometimes its easy to feel that readers have lost interest and moved on, or its just not as good as you wanted it to be, ect. If you look for reasons like that, reasons to demotivate you, you’ll find them in spades.So i try my best to NOT do that, because working on a comic is hard enough.

In a weird way, when i sometimes find myself in the pit of struggles like this - i realize every author ive ever read has been in the same shoes as me. There is no artist that just magically has it easier and never runs into some challenges like this, some challenges can never be overcome because they’re part of the experience of making the project. There’s limitations involved and things change overtime. You won’t always have the same experience with the same story as you make it, or the same feelings involved. Sometimes that's really hard to let go of, if you feel the earlier years were so much better than the struggles you have now. I know I faced that hurdle with FFAK and I am currently going through that with NRD, but even the harder times do change too. It never gets easy to make a comic, but it changes. 

With FFAK, i don’t honestly know how I will finish the complete story. I often struggle too, especially with the third (final) arc, if it really is good enough. In a way, a lot of places of it feel incomplete and rushed, so I tend to worry a lot about how that will go. However, I never thought i’d have a comic like FFAK in the first place, so i feel really lucky to have made it this far at all. Endings do scare me, as there’s just so much pressure involved to deliver and even reach it at all, that it feels almost like an impossible fantasy to pull off in a satisfying manner to yourself or the readers. However, I do think I’ve gotten more excited to reach endings than I used to be even a couple years ago, and I have gotten more forgiving of myself for not being perfect at it. No matter what I manage to make, I’m going to have my own critiques of it because there’s improvements to be made in all aspects of the story. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can actually do so I can learn from it and be more confident in the future. 

FFAK also has such a huge cast, it can be a technical nightmare to figure out. I dont envy authors like GRRM that have a seemingly endless cast to deal with. I already have so much of my hands full with what is essentially one family. And I know for my other comics that I’ve made, the cast has never gotten as out of hand as FFAK’s. But I dont mind having FFAK be like this, because it has been part of my enjoyment of writing the story too. FFAK is generally very motivating because I always have something I’m excited to share about it, and every small progress is a big reward for me. I’ve put a lot of years of work into ARC2 and i am desperate to get to share it with everyone, so I hope readers will enjoy what is to come for the future of the story even though it already is a decade old at this point.

[dandelionprints]

Your Melancholy Calls To Mine - T.Shelby Fic Exchange

Pairing: Sender x Tommy Shelby

Summary: written as part of @raincoffeeandfandoms letter fic exchange (here)❤️

Warnings: mentions of depressive thoughts but nothing graphic

Word Count: 575 (Tommy’s response)

A/N: this is the first thing I have written in a long time and I’m very rusty so apologies in advance if it’s not the best, I hope you enjoy x

Hi Isa, I’m so sorry that it’s taken me ages to get this letter from Tommy to you! He left it on my desk a while ago for me to deliver but I’ve since had piles of work, also courtesy of Tommy, stacked on my desk, leading to a delay. Don’t worry, I haven’t peeked at what he’s written to you, although I hope it makes you smile! Love, Aimee x

@shelbydelrey’s letter

Dear Tommy,

For most of my life i lived in the dark.

The whispers of the people around me

-that i was too quiet, too shy, too dull drove me to hide there. Alone in a corner, unknown to myself, i started to believe in those harsh words and wrote them inside my bones.

That's why I didn't noticed you at first. I was too enthralled with my own isolation to pay attention to the mistery that you were and how could i even solve your puzzle when all of my own pieces were scattered on the floor?

But, in the middle of a crowd and on a particular cold night, your enchanting eyes glued on mine and lured me with

a: Your melancholy calls to mine.

I immediately recoiled, as i used to do with anything remotely good in my life, and thought that my mind was playing tricks on me. I was desperate to be seen but at the same time terrified to be perceived.

At the end it didn't mattered. The projection became desire and i melted against your touch before we became a mess of tangled limbs and stolen breaths.

That wasn't the moment where you saved me although. Our lust drive connection served to quench our souls loneliness but we barely gave each other space for anything else outside that.You saved me when i least expect it. When i was about to drown further into the abyss.

I'lI never forget the pain of being torn apart or the helplessness that took over me after I lost someone I loved. It's something that only through experience you can understand because words fail to capture the feeling. Your warm arms and silent support showed me that grief was a language you were versed on and that the same hurt dilacerated you every night. Thank you for allowing me to make a home on your pauses and for drawing stars around my skin to illuminate the darkness within. I would've gone mad otherwise.

Thank you for making me company and for saving me from myself. As you accepted me with all of my madness and with all of my scars, i accept you with all of your sins and all of your regrets.

Yours Truly, Isabella.

Tommy’s Response

Dearest Isabella,

Thank you for your letter, it’s brought a light to my day that I didn’t know I needed. It’s as gloomy as ever since you’ve been gone, the cold the same as the night we met and dark clouds loom over our heads, though the orange leaves on the trees remind me of you, their warmth shining from within. The days feel so long now without you here to make the loneliness subside, but I understand why we have to be apart.

I’m so grateful that we met that night, that you gave in to your desire and didn’t stay hidden away. I’m almost grateful for the joint misery and melancholy that brought us together, I’ve never had a connection with anyone like that before, whether that be by lust or love. I believe that our souls needed to meet in the abyss of our combined sorrow, to cling to each other in whatever way they could to fill the void that we both only knew as pain.

Even the simple things brought me so much joy, a feeling that I had long since forgotten about. The walk we took that day around the grounds, you in that deep green dress, your hair dancing along with the wind and the beautiful smile that grew on your face as you watched the autumn leaves flow to the floor. That will always be a day I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

I think that even Frances misses you, despite the amounts of tea and hot chocolate that we had her bring us that had her pacing up and down the stairs for the majority of your stay. She has since said that you brought out a kinder, almost softer side to ‘Tommy Shelby’, a side that even I’m beginning to miss.

The people that whispered things about you didn’t have a clue, they still don’t. They’re not important. Little people tell big lies to make themselves feel superior to others, trust me I’ve dealt with a lot of them. You’re none of the things they called you and you’re far from dull. You’re the sun on a cold winter's day, taking the chill from my frosty, broken heart and showering everything in your beautiful light until the pain has passed. For that I will be forever grateful.

I’m sorry if my letter is not what you expected, you write so beautifully and I fear that my thoughts are failing me, leaving the words jumbled on the pages. I just needed to let them fall onto the paper before I convinced myself not to respond, fearing judgement from you.

I know we didn’t really talk about it whilst you were here with me, how we supported each other without having to say a word, but I realise now that I never thanked you. The desperation I had inside to scream, to escape, to finally give in to the devils in my mind, they were only quietened when you were the one to do so. Only you.

You say that I accepted you with all of your madness and with all of your scars and that you accept me with all of my sins and all of my regrets. That is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give me.

I hope to see you again one day and please know that you will never be one of those regrets.

Yours truly,

Tommy Shelby

————

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @peakypoet @moral-terpitude @lyarr24 @cillmequick @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @alasya16 @tommystargirl @elenavampire21 @adaydreamaway08 @slaypussypop-21 @bluesongbird @zablife @cljordan-imperium @look-at-the-soul @rangerelik @helen06dreamer @cyphah @boobooquicksilver

[inkedwingss]

the observer effect (notes to myself)

I've been super busy with my job, and I've also been working on a bunch of personal artistic projects at the same time. Of course, I feel productive, but exhausted and kind of rushed, which I don't like. To me, slow living is not a trend, but a need for which concept I'm constantly going back to— because I truly believe the post-modern schedule is one of the biggest issues we have as human beings right now. Everything is too much, too fast, and the current global mental health conditions can confirm.

We need time to process, feel and be sure of stuff. Thinking through life and choices, meanings and feelings takes time.

Today, after printing zines and drawings (testing and experimenting), I was happy, but anxious. Everything is going as I planned, but I have so many other ideas I want to try, ideas that I might prefer, and things I want to refine. It's not only perfectionism: it's respect for my own creative process, a unique, valuable, and authentic process that will determine my quality, how my message is delivered to my audience and the endurance of what I created. I don't want to be trapped by the fast paced culture that doesn't let us develop the bare minimum skill before trying to make money!

I don't remember where I saw this, or who said it, but it was basically an artist saying how much early exposure can kill the development of skill, that artists are actually supposed to have time away from everything and everyone, time to mess it up and experiment, time to have a mentor maybe, but if not, time to be away from observant eyes and be on your own. ''In physics, the observer effect is the disturbance of an observed system by the act of observation.'' Anyway...

Of course, there is also a bit of perfectionism (that I believe all artists must learn to master, which I still haven't been able to do): '' Maybe... This looks shit and I'm being an idiot. I can see too many mistakes. I need to work harder. Do I even have the time for this? It's going to take ages until it's good enough. For every test, I'm spending my paper and ink! Well, if I want to make any money so this is worth it, I better hurry up!''

So... Another observer is bad, but as my own observer, I am also not very good. Great.

Do you know who is a good one at this? My husband. He just leaves me alone, because he knows I hate people looking over my shoulder as I create something. He gives me space. He doesn't make a big thing out of it, so I'm not embarrassed or pressured by the ''talented, amazing artist'' mask.

When he got home today, I ran to him, as I usually do, and I shared everything I had done. He was excited and appreciative (he is not the kind of person who will compliment just for the sake of ''making you feel good'', and I adore him for that — because I know he is being honest and that means I can be truly authentic, I can question and challenge myself instead of living for pleasing others, which he never—thankfully— allowed me to do). While he was sharing his perspective and making me feel more confident than ever, he said something like:

''You can keep experimenting for as long as you like! I know you enjoy exploring and refining, so you can just try everything until you feel sure!''

My inner child pouted (and so did I). He smiled.

''Even if I make no money out of it?'' I had to ask.

''Of course. Even if you never, ever make any money. I just want you to be satisfied with what you do. You don't need to rush.''

No, but seriously now: that made me cry. I guess I will be taking my time! He hugged me and I said thank you for holding this space for me and all the things I carry, for helping my creativity to be free, tax-free, and to develop naturally, without the pressure of making a profit, of instantly making it work. I do love taking my time, but I also need to point out that having this man who can smell the raw, secret and invisible conditions of my soul from miles away is literally the best thing ever.

He never allows me to lie to myself and to hide, and believe me... I've tried. Resisting is only worse. At some point, I will have to descend into my most vulnerable room, in the underground of my mind palace, and he will be there, sitting, drinking his tea, calmly waiting for me to arrive so we can clean the messy room together.

With that said, I will just be grateful and go back to my creative space, inside this safe frame his masculinity created for me, which is the definition of provision and protection, and I will keep enjoying my process in my own time. No pressure. No rush. Just delight!

(The right observer will disturb you right).

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[bengiyo]

Moonlight Chicken Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Can you believe we're getting double doses of Aof shows now each week? Yesterday, we were treated to possibly the best opening we've ever had in BL. We have a sense of the dynamics of the restaurant and the way the financial crunch of the pandemic is hurting this town. We know that Uncle Jim is gay, and down to clown with Wen, but only casually. Li Ming doesn't seem happy about his current circumstances, and is now. wrapped up with the deaf son of a local police official. Alan (First Kanaphan) is so notable in his absence that we all were thinking about him. Mark Pakin and Khaotung continue to deliver phenomenal performances from supporting roles.

I'm so curious about Leng coming along with the restaurant.

I love the way Mark moves.

Wen just got here and already is like, "I am persistent."

"Chapter 2: The Temporary Chicken Rice"

I like the vibe Praew is giving off. Curious if this lotto thing is foreshadowing or world building.

Fourth feels so different as Li Ming.

Li Ming has to have thoughts about his uncle's fling suddenly working for them.

Uncle Jim and Li Ming seem to have a tense relationship.

So Heart doesn't have anyone to speak to because his parents haven't learned sign? No wonder he was driven to drinking.

Curious about why Heart took the photo.

Earth being allowed to play older characters is such a sexy move by Aof. He even gets to be funny!

Ah, yes, let's see Leng, Gaipa, and Praew together. These three are so comfortable on film.

I hope Khaotung being in love with either Earth or Mix continues as a bit far into the future. Gaipa is being nice, but he is definitely here to check out the competition.

Fourth joins the ranks of the fit boys we find excuses to strip.

I do like that we're drawing attention to Thai pronouns and how some of them have a familial context. Jim is younger than Li Ming's mom, so I think he would normally use "Ar"

There's a lot seemingly weighing on Li Ming. He clearly seems stressed about affording school in Bangkok, and seemingly has no interest in girls. He also seems to be struggling in his English classes, and seems to project a lot of this onto his uncle.

I think this tv sequence is the first time we've seen Li Ming seemingly relaxed so far.

I figured Praew was going to be pregnant with the eating earlier. Curious that they came to Jim with this problem. Does everyone go to their local gay uncle when they have problems?

Jim is doing such a bad job of keeping Wen at arm's length.

Omg the face journey Mix just took us on when he realized that Li Ming doesn't feel like he can talk to Jim about his desire to travel.

Fourth can smolder. I'm glad he worked with Mix on this show, because you can feel his brewing attraction to Heart.

Mark Pakin just made me cry. When they say acting is reacting, they're talking about Saleng's face dropping in awe when he realized that Jim actually did come through and help him. You could see the relief and thanks wash over him. He thought he was alone with this big situation, but Jim threw him a lifeline.

Wen is clearly fond of this behavior.

"I'm giving you your reward." This feels like something Aof put in from all the BL kids teasing him and always trying to hug him.

"Get serious with someone. Kill your loneliness...I can't stay with you forever you know?" Gosh this felt so gentle and caring.

I like the price of 3000 THB as compensation (roughly $89.33 USD). How you feel about that amount of money says a lot about where you sit.

Jim saw the potential for Wen to be with someone else and instantly retreated.

I like that Aof knew the 1000 stars fans were not going to put up with Mix and Earth making fuck-me eyes at each other all month waiting for payoff. This is much more intriguing.

I kinda hope we don't learn what made Jim give up on love for himself.

Next week we learn about Jim's homophobic sister, confirm that Fourth does the chin thing on his own, and I hope to the gods we see First.

[averageartistamber]

Okay, So Project Update.

Hey, it's me again. Haven't posted much the past week or so, decided I needed a short break from project work.

First of all gonna admit that I knew going into this year that I'd given myself a ton of work to do this year. I might have over-promised to a degree, not sure if I'm gonna do another "this year's plans" kind of video.

We're in July and one of the projects that I planned has been released, and I'm currently working on a side video (got one speedpaint left to do, then scripts and a few additional drawings).

At the moment, the plan for the next few videos is My Take on Ultraman (1), then Ryan and The Quest Crew (Ep1), Possibly Ultraman (Part 2) if the first part does well. Gonna try something different with the Quest Crew episode where hopefully it won't take as long to make as Fazbear Collection's Pilot did. The episode itself is gonna be much shorter, for one.

After that, I am definitely going to try getting Splatoon: Operation Rock Out! released next...Which for now is going to be simply a one-off story. (With potential for it to be extended into a few more individual "episodes", like an anthology collection, but see my note on fandom content below.)

I've promised Splatoon, so I'm gonna hopefully deliver some Splatoon (maybe early next year? Haven't got a good handle on timing yet.)

I'm not sure if I'm going to continue Fazbear Collection, maybe shelving it until I figure out the most efficient way to make my "story" videos (Got a few ideas to try for the next one). Plus I'm not super happy about how the first episode turned out. As much as I like FNAF, I've noticed with fandom stuff I tend to "cycle" through interests, and can't really "force" something when I'm currently making stuff for a different fandom.

It could make a comeback, episodes will probably just come out much more slowly since it'll be when I "rotate" back into FNAF. It might end up becoming a "casual" side thing where I make art for the AU every now and then, but don't have the pressure of spinning a full written story with it for Youtube Videos.

Gonna be honest as well, the way the FNAF fandom is currently really isn't helping my motivation to make FNAF stuff...I only really decided to make FC into a thing because my most successful videos are the FNAF-related ones, so I felt like I "need" to make FNAF videos since that's what most of my subscribers followed me for.

I think one-off stories might be the better way to handle "fandom" content (as well as the My Take On videos if I decide those work). I think at this point I want to spend a lot more time and energy on original work, after doing almost exclusively fan art for the past few years.

Honestly, I feel like it'd be better to have one "main" project, which will be original work. At least until I fully figure out the "method" to making my videos. Still having fun with it though, and hope to see you again soon with another update.

[katyspersonal]

do u have any opinion on what separates good media and bad media? less to do with quality and more to do with like, messages n themes n stuff

Honestly, it is a hard question for me, because separating quality and themes is not something I usually do... For example, almost all modern media falls for "good message, awful quality", especially TV shows and movies. You know, the usual: they claim to deliver messages about equality, acceptance, women being self-sufficient human beings and not just "mothers and wives", corruption of authority, mature approach in relationship, all that.... but because corporations are lazy fucks that only want your money and promotion by wars on Twitter instead of actually making the world better, they hire the most mediocre (if not outright talentless) people to act, do awful bland writing disconnected from how real humans speak and feel abundant with plot holes more than a sieve, and don't get me started on assasinating the pre-existing characters.

I haven't named any piece of media, but you must have thought of some, be it a reboot or a new project, right? I do not believe that representation, important messages and alike automatically absolve the creators from responcibility to put in effort and do their best. "Good intention, bad media" is real and deadly- hell, all bad delivery of good intention does is just feeds into people's confirmation bias: people who were already apprehensive of said "good messages and themes" only start hating them more after being fed awful quality media and/or having their beloved classic media being turned into low-effort trash, and people who already had these "good messages and themes" internalized just get a "confirmation" that everyone in [insert gender/race/age category/etc] are violently -ist or -phobic for reacting poorly. The media that never changed anyone's mind to the better, nor raised questions that cause an actual thought resonance but only made everyone angrier, despite "good messages and themes".... isn't it bad media?

To get more subjective and personal, I strongly lean towards media that teaches complexity of things and people. Media that draws very clean defition of what people are good and what people are bad won't do anything for people in my opinion: it feeds into confirmation bias at best, makes people angrier at worst. Media that teaches people that absolutely everyone is capable of becoming bad, that all "monsters" you wanna kill were once people just like you, and that the quest of giving them a second chance despite potentially being bitten in the ass by those that are beyond saving is hard but worthy? That's gold for me. Themes of kindness, caring about other people and realising we all are idiots that live on this earth and that healing damaged people is better than throwing them away are my favourite, but this message will be kinda bad if lacking nuance and highlighting the risks! Because destroying yourself is just as bad as destroying others!

I'll say that you are asking a wrong guy about this though, because I am not very well-versed in "media analysis", especially not in the way Westerners go about it (that is a standard in the internets by now). I know Bloodborne is a very good media with very good messages: that messing with the ways to transcend humanity beyond its current "animalistic" state will lead to committing atrocities that ironically trace back to this "animalism", that fighting monsters too vigorously will make you a monster yet some of them are dangerous enough to be killed, that usually sworn enemies are not that different (deadly drinking game: count the similarities between Cainhurst and Healing Church)... heck, even my favourite "all the monsters you hate were people just like you once" is here! :D Very humane themes that provide some direction towards the good, whereas showing existencial horror and the depth of pessimism and evil in fullest!

___________________

Alright, I hope that I did make my point understandable? It is not something I can explain very clearly because, again, I am not familiar with "media literacy" as Western kids know it and just go with my own intuition and approach of my own culture. In short, I think bad and good media are defined by what they give to this world, and we live in the bad times where even poor quality of the product can ensure the media will only give something bad! But that aside, bad media is media that lacks nuance, propaganda of "burning all the witches" is bad but so is propaganda of naive optimism and self-destructive patience that can be dangerous in real life!

[windvexer]

I saw your post about reading Tarot in regards to what to do if someone is aggressive towards your interpretations- and it was insanely inspiring and beautiful. I was wondering if you could post a small guide on how to read tarot. I want to get better at it, but I have a horrible memory and don’t know what to do. You seem like a safe person to ask because of your daring-ness and openness. I would be incredibly interested in your opinions & thoughts on how to get started again, and what might work for someone like me, who’s only ever used the basic interpretations in books, etc to read my cards. I have strayed away from Tarot recently because it doesn’t feel like the answers I’m receiving from these basic interpretations is enough- it doesn’t satiate the hunger and I even question if it truly applies to me. It feels muddy. I feel like I’m not expanding my knowledge each time I try.

we are in reference to this post

Good morning! Thank you for your kind words.

I too have felt tarot becoming muddy for me. It is a cycle I go through perhaps about once every two years. Most recently, my muddiness inspired this project which more or less carried me through to clear waters.

But I started working on that almost two years ago. I've got a new project in the works now.

If you'd like further reading material, try this ask which has my helpful links corralled.

I think it would be fun to write more about tarot, but I was supposed to start writing a new book yesterday and now I'm already behind on that. Plus a sponsored post I'm lagging on finishing, too. Some day, perhaps?

There are too many things you could try. Each of us needs different things.

There are tarot-based things you can try, like studying the Fool's Journey, or reading books like Mystical Origins of the Tarot by Paul Huson, to expand the frameworks in your mind within which you operate.

There are magical things you can try, like initiating under the powers of the Moon or a deity related to divinatory power, creating talismans that open Sight, casting spells to bring necessary knowledge to your doorstep, and so on.

There are experimental things you can try, like cross-pollinating with playing card reading systems, writing OC lore for the suits or major arcana to give you a new way to connect with them, or trying to invent single-player games which use a tarot deck.

There are many things you could do. Did you know about reading with a restricted deck? Reading that primarily takes into account the elements of the cards? Reading that pays a lot of attention to which direction the characters in the card are facing?

I never got along with most pre-made spreads. I find them to be stilted and lacking. Early on I started mapping my spreads to the four elements and cardinal directions. Then I figured out you can put cards in the cross-quarters that represent north-east, south-east, etc. This can go on forever. You can lay cards out in a massive spiral that fractals out from the four cardinal points.

I was not good at doing small spreads for several years. I still do not prefer them. Are you only trying 3-card draws or small spreads? Try huge ones. 12 cards. 20 cards. Leave spreads open for hours or days as you contemplate them. Place them out, look at each card once, say the first thing you think of, deliver your summary at the end, and put the cards away.

There are many things you can try. Think about what you are doing now and do the opposite. Do you shuffle, draw 5 cards in a line, and look up meanings in the book? Instead, spread the cards out and pick which ones you want to use. Place them in a geometric shape. Do not look at the book.

Give yourself symbol sets to work with. "Intuitive reading" is such a chore. Instead of staring at a card waiting for something to come, seed your imagination. Do you like fairy tales? Well, now each card is a scene or character from fairy tales. Maybe you prefer Marvel movies instead. Or, Percy Jackson. Now each card is something from Percy Jackson.

Some people can't read for themselves. So, read for characters from movies or books. Read for historical figures. Read with signifiers and without. Draw with a question in mind, or not. Practice telling the future or telling the past.

I could go on. There are too many things to try.

Try anything other than what you are doing now.

But if I may recommend: get it out of your head that each reading needs to be a complete rendition, like a song fully rehearsed. Put it in your mind that you've got to spend a while practicing notes and chords, and maybe some musical theory. Let yourself have fun with the composite parts of reading, without worrying too much about the end result.