#no projects no drawing things because i feel like i have to deliver something

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Have a late valentines gift from the automaton au guys♡ they love you

(I love you too)

[llolianarchives]

The Prefect and The Draconia

A short overview of the Ramshackle prefect and their strange (but kind) horned fellow friend: as seen through the eyes of outsiders.

(A/N: #Malleyuu notes with an OC but feel free to project. We're all delulu here ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭ )

His Henchman is crazy.

Or at least, that's what Grim thinks when he's woken up at sunrise to Yue's bizarre ramblings. Something about the time being 1 AM, then fireflies at night, and a tall, horned figure – is what he takes from their babble amidst his own groans and pleas to return to sleep. He'd think them delirious from slumber, mumbling about another dream, if it weren't for the way Yue's eyes sparkled with genuine interest. Grim yields, in the end, for one of the many things he's learned about his reliable servant is that they can be awfully enthusiastic when it comes to this world's curiosities.

“He told me to call him whatever I want,” Yue continues, ruffling Grim's fur dry with a clean rag. Before he could insert magnificent ideas of his own, they beat him to it with a soft smile on their lips.

“I'm thinking of naming him Nyx: the personification of the night. What do you think?”

“What? Because he only shows up at night?” Like some wacky cryptid.

“Yup.”

He hears his henchman forgo the brush, letting it clatter loudly against the table.

“Hm... Nyx, huh...” Grim falls into thought, testing the name on his tongue like premium quality tuna. He doesn't even notice how Yue ties the striped ribbon around his neck. Triumphant, he turns to them with a grin.

“That's not half-bad, Henchman! It's cool and mysterious. Not as cool and mysterious as me, of course, but I'd say it's a close second!”

“Naturally. I wouldn't dare bestow a name mightier than the Great Grim's.”

Despite the stream of praise his henchman delivers (which he pleasantly basks in), Yue eventually derails, returning to speak of the horned man yet again. What Grim's superior brain gathers is this: One, this Nyx guy is super weird. Two, Yue's interest has been piqued like no other before.

He'll demand some omurice as payment for his counsel later on.

. . .

Malleus has made a friend.

The news was dropped onto Lilia's lap rather unceremoniously when one night, the Young Lord—having just returned from another evening excursion, went to sit with him in the Diasomnia lounge. This time, however, the quaintest of smiles adorned his face... It was an unusual sight but certainly not unwelcome. And much like any doting parent, his curiosity led him to ask.

Malleus had replied with a question of his own.

"Lilia, do you know of the Prefect that resides in Ramshackle Dorm?"

"Yue? Why yes, of course. I've spoken to them once or twice. They made quite a show during the Ceremony."

Yue— Lilia soon comes to learn— is completely unaware of Malleus's identity as a prince and a figure of authority, of power. As such, they bear no fear for him, even going so far as to bestow him a pet name, of all things.

(“Nyx? As in the night spirit? How fitting.")

Thus began the pattern of Lilia covering for Malleus's nighttime absence, not daring to ask nor scold when the prince would return in strange and stranger states.

When he would return to the dormitory partially caked with dirt and mud (a consequence of helping the prefect with their little garden of life.) Or when he would return with a box of homemade cake, a pretty stone from their walks, a drawing of him supposedly made by the prefect's beast, and with inquiries of the complexities of human nature.

Sometimes, Lilia can't help but feel a bit guilty, constantly boring witness to Silver and Sebek's searches into the night.

Yet that sliver of guilt fades, in the end, when Malleus smiles more often than before, when he approaches Lilia in the winter with the request of delivering a Holiday Card.

As he watches the magicless human rush into their abode, card in hand, ghosts and Grim awaiting their entrance...

he has never felt prouder and more grateful for fate.

. . .

From a distance, Vil watches.

He watches as the feared Briar Prince lets a small, feeble human talk his ear off, calm and unresisting, a hand on his chin as he ponders along Yue's barrage of words. He gives the prefect full reign of the conversation. He lets himself be taken away by their stories and details. He lets them speak, which they do.

Just after the horrors, highs, lows, and thrills of the VDC, the two chat as if nothing even happened. The onslaught of it all feels like a fever dream to Vil. First, the mental toll of overblotting, then their loss to RSA's nursery rhyme performance, and now the shocking reveal of Yue (innocent, bold, mundane little Yue) and Malleus Draconia's relationship.

He isn't even sure what to make of it. They're clearly friends, yet Vil can't bring himself to chalk it up to just that. His years and years of showbiz cinema has taught him the ins and outs of body language. He watches. He sees:

There's the smiles on both their faces; cheeks raised taut, dimples carved with genuine laughter. There's that glimmer in Yue's eyes and the odd tenderness of Malleus's own, both gazes locked onto one another with an undisturbed focus. There's the fact that Yue had given him an invitation to the VDC, or that Malleus had fixed the stage partially to show off to the magicless human, or that their hands are currently mere centimeters away from each other.

In the end, Vil averts his gaze, weariness crashing into him all at once and he feels a pair of hands grasp onto his shoulders, keeping him standing. Rook smiles, gentle, knowing, annoying. Vil resigns to his whims and lets his Huntsman guide him back to the Pomefiore Dorm, the chatter of Yue and Malleus and everyone else fading away.

[pankielovesfan]

ii16 spoilers under cut

MORE talk about fan similar to the other post because there is still a lot to say. This is more about what fan means to mephone

Compared to most of the other contestants, Fan wasn't originally created to BE a contestant, which I find most interesting. Fan was quite literally created to be a fan of the show and randomly appears in season 1 (and he also delivers food I guess). Even if Mephone4 consciously made Fan or not, his appearance and creation obviously meant Mephone wanted appreciation for the things he was making, as is Fan's main purpose and service to Mephone. Fan is technically a manifestation of Mephone's love for the show itself, but he is also expressing vulnerable happiness of which Mephone feels like he could not express properly considering his issues with vulnerability. This might be why he is so outwardly dismissive of Fan's strong emotional enthusiasm for the show!!

So Fan technically is a support Mephone desperately wants, but he can't respond well to- but this definitely means Mephone appreciates Fan's dedication as he quite literally wished for Fan to exist as he is, being such an engaged Fan. He expresses passion for the show in a way Mephone couldn't do himself! Fan gives Mephone support as complete opposite to what Mephone feels Cobs would have! And you know what else Cobs does that Fan has an extreme well known trait of disliking and being scared of? Change. Cobs constantly reinvents, makes new things, discards old things, but Fan latches on. He observes patterns, he begs for predictability, structure and consistency.

Another notable trait of Fan is his defensiveness. Even if he's not good at it, he's incredibly stubborn to protect his passion and love to no end, being incredibly irrational about it. Cobs is well. Yeah. Massive Passion Disliker. He don't gaf about that. Fan might've looked up to cobs and meeple, but god if he's not possibly a parallel that's the opposite. I'm going to walk into the ocean. Im forever gonna think about how fan was created to be a support. like his entire goddam purpose is to love something so much!!!! and give it so much attention! and he is having so much fun doing it!!! IT IS MAKING ME CRAZY!!!!

I'm not sure if the characters are partly "extensions" of Mephone or if they're Mephone projecting specific parts of himself, I believe most of all they are created from his desire (like, wanting a specific thing and that thing just appears for him if this is done unintentionally,) but either way I enjoy thinking about what each trait that manifested for Fan's character specifically would resonate with Mephone's experiences and why he would create him with those traits. or something.

My working theory is that Mephone labeled each character in his mind as one thing, such as "the jerk" for Knife and nothing more, letting the contestants take their own shape and personality as they gain more experience on the show, which I feel is validated through Lightbulb saying "I don't think we were all there yet" once seeing the season 1 contestants in alternate reality show! They build more of their personality as it goes along. I think Mephone has minimal control of the contestants personality wise after he's generated them, but i do think he influences their memories or experience with time or something?? I dont know. guess we will all see. Also this somehow isn't about fan anymore wow that's weird actually who am i where am i

relevant drawing. Time to collapse to my knees over this shit again

[skitskatdacat63]

"From triumph to failure is but one step."

+ the usual

I love when I can include paper sketches in the process gif. It's very satisfying to see it progress from a very vague imagining of what was in my head to the finished project.

+ version without text

My favorite sketch was definitely the one where I actually put in words what it's supposed to convey. I wouldn't usually write that down, cause it's all in my head, but it was useful to do so when sending it to other people. I'll go into it more but here it is just as a teaser:

Lmao first of all, I like how I was teasing "Spanish GP" art, but as per usual, it's just thinly veiled au art. IM SORRY, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN MAKING GENERAL POSTERS, THAT'S NO FUN! So instead you will get weirdly relevant matador au art. I like it a lot though, I was really shocked I was able to draw 3 different Fernandos, I mean even drawing one figure takes a lot out of me, but this was weirdly easy?? I think it's just the effect of not being burnt out anymore, and actually being able to draw with more ease makes me feel like a god.

Okay, so the text: "Fight or Flight?" I'll be honest, I don't even remember why I chose it, literally came to me in a vision 😭 But I think it's fitting with the narrative of this piece. Is it better to keep going on, keep fighting, or better to finally give up, and flee? Not that I even remotely think he should give up, but I feel like sometimes I can sense him pondering this very question. That was the big fear before he announced that he re-signed. Keep fighting and maybe, just maybe, you'll get the chance to finally go up against the bull again. Or accept it's an uphill battle and the fighting is going to keep getting more and more strenous, and maybe it's time to put down the sword. SORRY THIS IS SO ANGSTY FOR WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE "yayyyy home race!!!" Please forgive me <3

I. Renault

At some point, someone pointed out to me that I had drawn all other iterations of matador Fernando with a sword, except for Renault Fernando, and that ended up feeling very poignant to me. In a bull fighting match, they really only pull out the sword at the last minute to deliver the killing blow. So I think it's important to never draw this Fernando with a sword, because it shows the unfailing confidence and stability he has at that point. He only needs to pull out the sword at the end, as a formality almost, there's no reason for him to keep his guard up at all times.

II. Ferrari

Meanwhile this Fernando, he's considering his sword like he hasn't had to in the past. He's checking the sharpness, making sure in advance he can do what needs to be done. He's on guard, he feels like he needs to keep up his defenses at all times because he doesn't have that same amount of trust and stability anymore. He knows though he will be up against the (red) bull, at least that's never in question. At least there's the assurance he'll get the chance to fight.

III. Aston

Oh, Aston Fernando....He doesn't know whether to take up his sword or finally put it down for the last time. While at least Ferrari Fernando knows he's on constant guard against the bull, this Fernando doesn't even have that assurance anymore. He feels like he can never put down the sword, just in case he gets the chance to strike the killing blow on the bull, which feels like it's growing more and more unlikely.

Spanish flag: ? Lmao this was meant to be something to celebrate Fernando's home race and it turned very introspective whoops. Also got the Napoleon quote in there hahaha, can't escape it!! Shame though there is no French gp anymore, if so I'd probably draw an unhinged thing for it :,(

[mama-qwerty]

a curious question I want to ask you, what do you think of a au where Eclipse was raised alongside Shadow and Maria on the Ark and Eclipse's creation was sort of a power balance between the ultimate lifeform in Project Shadow also what do you think of the sibling dynamic with Maria, Shadow and Eclipse be like?

Oh, that's an interesting question.

I could see Eclipse being the weapon Black Doom wanted Gerald to make in the first place. Maybe the Black Arms scientists don't have an adequate 'imagination' to create a bio-weapon, so BD enlisted the help of Gerald to do so. Gerald used full strength Black Arms DNA to create Eclipse, and the darkling is essentially exactly what BD wanted in Shadow.

Shadow, however, was Gerald's pet project. He snuck a teeny bit of Black Arms DNA and merged it with the DNA from a quill he found on one of his off-world expeditions, and ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, Shadow was born. He was meant to be Maria's protector, her savior, her emotional support animal. And he performed exactly as Gerald wanted. The unlimited chaos energy and other powers were secondary and a little unexpected, honestly.

Shadow and Maria are thick and thieves, always together and learning and snuggling and sharing an emotional bond stronger than any Gerald had seen before. He's so pleased with himself for Shadow's success.

Eclipse . . . doesn't understand it. Black Arms are not known for their emotional attachments, or their need for connection past the hive mind link that delivers orders. But Eclipse doesn't have a hive mind link. He's separated enough from the Comet that he hasn't connected to it, and thus, is alone. Gerald makes sure to keep him separated from Shadow and the rest of the Ark, because he's a product created specifically for BD. And maybe Gerald's having a little moral dilemma for creating something that could pose a threat to Earth and everything he holds dear.

So Eclipse spends his days alone in the lab. Enduring test after test. He watches the comings and goings, but ultimately doesn't know how to feel regarding all this.

And maybe Maria and Shadow sneak into the lab one night, after everyone else has gone to bed. And they sit before Eclipse's tank. Maybe Shadow can hear Eclipse's thoughts, and tries to reach out to him, let him know he's not alone.

And Eclipse's eyes snap open at the first feel of Shadow's thoughts in his mind. The two stare at each other, sending messages back and forth, while Maria looks on, keeping watch to make sure they're not caught.

Maybe this becomes a nightly ritual for them, and soon the all become closer. Maria and Shadow reach out to Eclipse, trying to include him in games and fun things. As much as they can, anyway.

And Eclipse starts to understand this connection. This need for companionship. This desire to form bonds with others.

And the three become close.

Then Black Doom arrives to retrieve his weapon.

Gerald tries to buy time. "It's not ready," he claims. "I'm still running tests." BD doesn't buy it and orders his warriors to attack, to take that which he deemed created in his name. The Ark is overrun. Maria and Shadow try to get Eclipse out of there, but they can't. Maria is injured, and Shadow drags her to the escape pod. She shoves him in instead, insisting that he's the only one who can stop the Black Arms, should they get to Earth. She sends him away.

Eclipse finds Maria as she's hidden herself in a dark corner. She's fading, and he sits with her as she draws her last breath.

Eclipse looks toward the chute where Shadow's pod was ejected. The warriors are coming. He gently lays Maria down, and leaps through the ejection tube, heading down to Earth to find his brother.

[gamer2002]

Project Eden's Garden Chapter 1 review

Like I’ve said in the demo review, it is very professionally done. Expect the shmup minigame. Fuck the shmup minigame.

I could live with the random attack patterns causing the attack that forces me to move away being used alongside the freaking all-around barrage that forces me to stay in a very tight area. I could live with the final attack of pursuing missiles happening on a pure chance and then, once used, being reused over and over again constantly.

But I cannot live with my focus gauge being used and drained ever so sometimes when I did not intend to use it. This bs must be fixed. Until then, I cannot recommend trying the highest difficulty.

I think gachapon was also bugged with it duplicate rate, though this time for my benefit. I got 50-80% rate and I was able to still get unique presents pretty constantly.

Anyway, the murder mystery was surprisingly complex and twisted for the first case. Though, around the body discovery I was close to figure it out. More in spoiler section. But, during the Class Trial, I was surprised that Tozu was completely silent through it. Monokuma constantly throws the cast off balance and delivers black comedy, but Tozu just was sitting on his throne. And that was seriously disappointing. He's the character that is supposed to OWN every scene he is in. He did that before the Class Trial, but during it he just... stays silent all the time.

The main draw of the fangame is that we're essentially playing Byakuya type of character. Still, my criticism towards Damon stands from previous review. An anti-hero like him requires a backstory that explains his way of thinking. Why does he think highly of his talent? Why is he jaded and cynical? Why he stops being jaded and cynical during the trial? Why he returns to being jaded and cynical afterwards?

It is interesting to have a protag who, after Tozu reveals there’s a chance to find an advantageous secret, wants to be the one who finds it first. But he doesn’t and doesn’t change much the way of his thinking, so he is a static protagonist. And I begin to feel apathy about him. And I feel apathy about the game.

What I’m afraid the writers do not understand is that DR works as a roller-coaster of emotions, not just by bashing the player with despair. The chapter 1 ends on a negative note with no positives, and Damon also has no development into a better man. How was it in official games?

Further explanation in a spoiler section. But, 7/10. It is a very well done and professional fangame with a very well done opening mystery. But it clear work of amateurs who had neat ideas to do something different and something unexpected here and there. And, because they are amateurs, the didn’t think things through, because they don’t grasp the DR formula to its core. Not when it comes to handling the characters and cast.

Now, I’ll explain why in the spoiler section.

Some thoughts on Eva first…

First of all, Eva had such a lackluster motive and was generally pathetic. The back and forth between being intriguing and pitiful was great, sure. But this all fall apart because it is just so stupid and immature to be ashamed of being a mathematician. And so were stupid and immature those who were making fun of her for being a mathematician. I mean, I can understand mocking somebody who lied about being an Ultimate Liar to add themselves a mystique, but it was such a dumb thing that I hoped that it was going to turn out that Tozu screwed with her by lying about her not being an Ultimate Liar.

Rally, an Ultimate Liar who wanted to be honest about herself but got screwed over by the host lying about her talent would make Eva and Tozu much better characters. Not to mention, she managed to fool the Ultimate Gamer about being a fan of a niche game, so it’s inconsistent that she goes back and forth between being and not being an Ultimate Liar.

I was able figure out early that it was either her or Diana because of that out of place game fan thing being obviously there to get trusted into the room with access to the crime scene. And then Eva giving it away when she pointed out that everyone in the room had alibi. And then Eva cementing it by downplaying the importance of the cord. But Diana did a good job at being a red herring. And, comparing to DR1, 2, and V3, this honestly was a harder first case to guess, despite not using Nagito type of character. So, I have no complaints against her as a killer.

But for a person intelligent enough to come up with such a complex crime, it really was stupid she couldn’t shrug off kids making fun of her for being a nerd and get herself a job at NASA or something. And then she was dumb enough to lie about being an Ultimate Liar. Back when they still could believe there was a reasonable chance of escaping and the other students finding out the truth about her anyway.

Sure, the direction her character took was surprising. Her crime was good. But her character makes no point beyond complaining about everyone being awful. Well, they are, but so were you.

No hope, no despair, just apathy

I consider Makoto and DR1 the weakest protag and game in the series, but they had a good start. Makoto gets manipulated by childhood friend turned star and becomes thorn about her ultimate feelings towards him. But he also gains the respect of Kirigiri. Hajime gets screwed hard by Nagito. But he gains Chiaki and others. Shuichi loses Kaede. But he becomes a man and gains respect of Kaito. Bad shit happens to them but also does the good stuff to balance it out, which is why we are interested in seeing their stories further. Because the players aren’t masochists interested in just watching bad stuff happening to characters. Which is why Kodaka was throwing us some silver lining after the opening case.

Damon gets screwed by Eva and decides to be disgusted at the character he could bond with over the case. There’s no silver lining. Everybody mocks Diana for wanting to become the silver lining.

And it is especially irritating after Damon stood up for her when nobody else did. He was moved by seeing her crying, this is what his narration told us. He displayed a sign of empathy and this made him reconsider the situation. But Damon doesn’t develop from this and he’s just pissed at Diana for still idolizing the man who died in front of her eyes.

At the end of the day, Damon goes though the Chapter 1 of his game and his character makes no development. Unlike all DR protags, he is the exact same character he was in the prologue. It’d fine if he ended up shocking the players with being more heartless than we thought, but he was sympathetic for Eva, then did stand up for Diana, and then was crying at the end of Eva’s execution. So, he displays emotions contradicting with his jaded and cynical character. But those are just moments that seem more like inconsistent writing than proper development towards anything.

Same goes for the cast. They are just as selfish as DR1 cast, pretty much. What I give them is that they aren’t just as stupid. There’s a fine amount of intelligent people among them. But Mark-Jett is the only memorable side relationship here. Grace should have a one with Wolfgang, but they don’t share enough of screen time to establish them properly. Cassidy and Wenona also should be more at odds, due their contrasting believes. I’m honestly surprised they didn’t talk with each other at all, they have infinite potential for conflict.

I like their attempts at organizing themselves and prevent killings, but Kodaka knew what he was doing when he wrote heroic speeches at the end of first case in 2 and V3. Yeah, Wolfgang was full of shit, but you can be both sympathetic and sensible. Desmond, Ingrid and Jean are that, but even they couldn’t back up Diana at the end.

So, everybody is awful. I feel no hope for them. I feel no despair for them. Just apathy.

[blessed-curse]

My Signing Out For Now.

Okay here is a small 1000+ word short story/scene, of when the mc first encountered their first Eldritch. I wrote this back in the Christmas Holidays when boredom struck, and I was feeling the need to bully someone(one of my MC's 😈). I'm posting this because for the next few weeks I'm going to be working my ass off, as a new project has been signed so your boy got to work like a slave for the next two months. Anyway enjoy and peace. (This is Ultipotence MC)

"Life's a bitch, and society is a slave market—only the chains are invisible, and the auctioneer wears a suit. We’re the slaves, trading our time, our dreams, and our souls for scraps of paper that promise freedom but never deliver. They tell us to climb ladders, but the rungs are greased, and the top is a mirage. We’re born into a system we didn’t choose, forced to play a game where the rules are rigged, and the prize is survival. And yet, we keep showing up, day after day, because the alternative is to starve—not just in body, but in spirit. So we grind, we hustle, we sell pieces of ourselves until there’s nothing left but the echo of who we could’ve been. Life’s a bitch, and society is the pimp. But somewhere, deep down, we still dream of burning it all down and building something real."

– A Guy Who Hates Work.

You soar through the cold, silent expanse of space, your form gliding effortlessly past the swirling storms of Jove. Below you, the gas giant stretches endlessly, its vibrant bands of orange and white a reminder of the vastness of the cosmos. Roughly three thousand years have passed since you left your home, a self-imposed exile from the world you once cherished. Atlantis is gone—reduced to ash and ruin by your own hand. The weight of that guilt has driven you to the solitude of the moon. But even in isolation, the urge to explore, to push the boundaries of your existence, never fades. Today, like so many before, you drift aimlessly, letting the currents of the cosmos guide you.

That’s when you see it.

At first, it’s just a speck in the distance, a dark blot against the starry backdrop. But as you draw closer, the speck grows, shifting into something grotesque and alien. A monster, its form writhing and shifting as if made of liquid shadow. Tentacles coil and twist around a central mass, while glowing, pupil-less eyes blink in and out of existence across its surface. Instinctively, you slow your approach, tension gripping your invulnerable frame. You’ve seen many strange things in your long life, but this… this is different.

Then, it begins to change.

The monstrous form shrinks and contorts, the tentacles retracting, the eyes vanishing. The amorphous mass solidifies, reshaping into something humanoid. Feminine. Smooth skin replaces the oily darkness, and long, flowing hair cascades down her back. She is naked, her form flawless and enticing, her curves sculpted to perfection. Her face is angelic—full lips, high cheekbones—but her eyes… her eyes are wrong. They glow with an eerie crimson light, hypnotic, piercing through you like a blade.

A strange calm washes over you as she drifts closer. Your muscles relax, your mind clouds. She is beautiful, impossibly so, and you find yourself unable to look away. Her lips part, yet no sound escapes. Instead, a voice echoes in your mind—soft, melodic, intoxicating.

“Come closer,” she whispers. “You’ve been alone for so long. Let me comfort you.”

Your body moves of its own accord, drawn toward her. Your thoughts grow muddled, your will slipping away like sand through your fingers. She reaches out, slender fingers brushing against your chest. Her touch is warm, inviting. For a moment, you forget everything—where you are, who you are. There is only her. Her perfect supple breasts press against you and, her hips curved seductively downward. In fact, she is so beautiful that she seems unreal, a dream come true. It would be impossible to imagine anyone else like her. You’ve never met anyone who resembles her. She stands before you. A young woman. Your senses flood your mind, filling with memories of her:

A warm summer day: sun shining, birds chirping happily. She walks by your side, smiling. There is no sound but the wind blowing through the tall grasses, your laughter as you toss pebbles in the creek, her giggles echoing through the trees. You love her, love being with her. No one else compares. She’s everything to you. You think you could live in her shadow forever, protect her from everything and everyone. The only person able to make you truly happy… you wish it was her, that you were always by her side, always together. The image is imprinted in your memory, burned into your soul; you would do anything for her. You cannot remember what you told yourself when you asked her to marry you. It seems so long ago.

You ask her now. Please, please marry me.  Yes.  She says yes, and you kiss her. Your arms are wrapped tightly around her. Everything fades to gray. Your surroundings melt into blackness. And next you two are making love, she's completely naked and begins to undress you. You can feel the heat radiating from her body. She moves against you. Her breasts are warm and full. Your hands touch her thighs, trailing up her legs to her belly, cupping the round swell of her breasts. She sighs deeply. You move into her, your body moving smoothly against hers. Her hands move up your chest, her fingers tracing patterns across your skin. You kiss, her lips soft and pliant as they meet yours. You’re so lost inside her, it feels like it’s been years since you last felt like this with another human being.  You’re in heaven. She moans softly, arching her body toward yours.

Then, a sharp sting against your skin.

It’s faint, barely noticeable, but enough to snap you back to reality. Your eyes widen, locking onto her as her body peels open like a grotesque flower. The perfect illusion shatters, revealing a gaping maw lined with rows of jagged teeth, glistening with a strange, oily substance. The stench of decay hits you like a physical blow. You react instantly, instincts kicking in. Your fist slams into her face, sending her spinning backward. Lightning crackles around your hand as you summon your power, the energy arcing through the void and striking her with a deafening crack. She shrieks, the sound reverberating through your mind, her body convulsing under the electric assault.

But she doesn’t die.

With impossible speed, she lunges, her mouth snapping shut inches from your face. You twist, narrowly avoiding her bite, and drive a powerful kick into her midsection. The force sends her hurtling away, but she recovers instantly, her form warping and twisting as she charges again. The battle is brutal, chaotic. Your lightning illuminates the void, revealing the grotesque horror of her ever-shifting form. Your blows land with enough force to shatter moons, yet she endures, her wounds closing as quickly as they appear. No matter how hard you strike, she keeps coming. Pain flares across your chest as her claws rake deep, drawing blood for the first time in millennia. Shock turns to anger.

“What are you?” you snarl, your voice lost in the vacuum of space.

She doesn’t answer. Instead, she lunges again, her maw opening wide. You catch her by the throat, fingers digging into her unnatural flesh. Summoning another bolt of lightning—stronger, fiercer—you drive it into her core. The energy surges through her, her body convulsing violently.

Still, she doesn’t die.

Frustration sets in. You have fought countless foes across the ages, but nothing like this. She is relentless, her attacks growing fiercer, more desperate. The gashes she leaves on your body sting, a reminder of the pain even tho they heal within seconds.

Then, in the chaos, something shifts.

A surge of power rises within you—unlike anything you’ve ever known. The void trembles, the stars twisting and warping as the fabric of reality itself bends to your will. You don’t understand it, but you don’t need to. You simply act. With a thought, you reach out, gripping the essence of existence itself. The creature writhes, her body distorting in unnatural ways, limbs contorting as she screams. Her form begins to unravel, breaking apart at the seams of reality. You pour every ounce of your will into the attack, forcing the universe to reject her very existence.

And then—she is gone.

You float in the void, chest heaving, your body battered and bloodied. Yet you live. Residual energy crackles around your hands, an unfamiliar power lingering at your fingertips. You stare at them, awed. You have always known you were powerful, but this… this is something else entirely new. As the adrenaline fades, exhaustion creeps in. You turn, beginning the long journey back to the moon, your mind restless with unanswered questions. What was that creature? Where had it come from? What did it mean for you? For the universe? For now, you push those thoughts aside. You’ve had enough exploration for one week. Your home awaits—your sanctuary, your refuge from the chaos of existence. But deep down, you know this is only the beginning. The cosmos is vast, teeming with mysteries yet to be unraveled. And if creatures like her exist… then the universe is far more dangerous than you ever imagined.

[jojoseames]

How did you come up with the story of The Makeshift Man? Also, Elvis is one of my favorite buns of all time right next to Fiver from Watership Down. Did Watership Down have any influence on the creation of Elvis?

Aaaaaah, you've made my day!

So, I'd started doing webcomics when I was in high school. And like most teens just starting out in the artform, I wasn't sure what kind of a cartoonist I really was, or rather, what kind of cartoonist I wanted to be. I was doing this long-form black-and-white screwball romantic comedy thing, right? And after a few years, I just hated it. I didn't like working in black and white for that project when I was thinking of all the scenes in full color. I didn't like character designs that I now had to just live with. I didn't like how tired the tropes I was playing with felt. I just hated working on it, and kept not drawing my comic because I'd discovered a love of painting, and kept just wanting to do that instead.

So, after wrestling for a long while with the guilt of disappointing the few very kind readers I had, I gave myself permission to abandon that book. And start a new project.

This new comic was one I was going to design from the ground up with all my own preferences at the forefront. I was going to do it in color, and I was going to paint it in watercolor because it turns out that that's my favorite medium to work in. I wanted to do something supernatural, and something that was maybe a noir, maybe a western. Something moody, in contrast to the screwball comedy I'd been doing for so long.

My only goal was to do a short story, a single issue. And if I liked it, I could then do a follow-up. I hit on the notion that if I ended up liking it enough to do multiple issues, then I could do it as a series of short stories. That would give me the freedom to do the series for as long as I wanted to, or I could wrap it up and conclude it fairly easily at any point.

So I developed from there. I was going to do a series of stories about a nameless stranger who rolls into town in different places. That would mean every issue could be in a different location, with a different color palette, and I could change genres every issue as well, to keep myself from getting bored. I made the character immortal, too, which served the double purpose of letting me do stories in different time periods as well as locations, and would let me just absolutely put this guy through the wringer. (My love of Deadpool comics was part of my inspiration for this latter point.) This is all to make it as fun and interesting for myself as possible. Letting this project be really self-indulgent.

I gave myself really only two limitations:

No cartoon devices. No speed lines, no impact bursts, no stars or birdies circling the head after an injury. All dynamism would have to be achieved through basic positioning. Every panel would have to be like a photograph. (Inspiration for this technique came from Dave Gibbons' work on "Watchmen".) This was done to give the book a subliminal sense that it's in a grounded, realistic world, so that when weird things started happening, they would feel more like they stood out as unnatural and surprising within the context of the story.

No ghost stories. If my main character is immortal, then I wanna make him wrestle with that, in a way that death is not portrayed as a different form of being present in the world, but exists as a full removal of a person from the world, and that that is a thing that eludes my protagonist.

So, yeah, the project came about. And I designed a main character who I would personally never get tired of drawing.

I discovered after the first issue that I didn't like giving him an internal monologue in caption boxes, though. And that I'd prefer a storytelling format where exposition is delivered through dialogue and environment. I needed my guy to have someone to talk to. I needed a Robin to his Batman. So I decided to give him a sidekick who would exist in contrast to him, all chipper, friendly outgoingness and soft shapes in relief to his sullen introversion and sharp edges.

And I love bunnies. They're my favorite animal. I had several pet rabbits when I was a child, and I love them so. Elvis is based especially on my childhood pet, Patch, who was a tiny little cross-breed Netherland dwarf and Dutch rabbit with a feisty personality. So this is another character I'd never get tired of drawing.

Hence, Elvis.

And yes, Richard Adams' "Watership Down" was absolutely an influence! It's one of my all-time favorite books, and I've never counted, but it's certainly the single novel I've read the most times. The idea that there are all these different societies in the world that coexist, each with their unique perspectives, priorities, histories, and senses of logic...That's very much a theme I'm going for in my own book, and a lot of that concept was sparked by "Watership Down".

[kosmicdream]

I got this ask on curiouscat but.. the site wont let me post my reply?? so i just decided to put it here since i dont get a lot of questions these days. so i like to answer them when i actually have something more to say. this one also went kinda off topic but w/e.

==

Q: How do you keep the motivation to work on all your long comics? I always start and then abandon a project cause another distracts me or I feel unsatisfied with the result... I admire your commitment so much!

===

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. But don’t get too discouraged.. I get distracted too! I currently have 9 ongoing comic projects with 2 more i eagerly want to start drawing, and at least a dozen concepts on the backburner that have been around for sometimes over a decade. I think that what I’ve found, is that starting a new comic takes so much time. It takes a lot of time to get a story really rolling, time to learn how to draw the story how you want and in a weird way - having a longer comic you’ve had more experience with, you can pull a lot more things from. I generally find that FFAK and NRD are much easier comics for me to work on because of all those years of experience with them. But it still can get demoralizing if i focus too much on the faults or how long I still have to go. Sometimes its easy to feel that readers have lost interest and moved on, or its just not as good as you wanted it to be, ect. If you look for reasons like that, reasons to demotivate you, you’ll find them in spades.So i try my best to NOT do that, because working on a comic is hard enough.

In a weird way, when i sometimes find myself in the pit of struggles like this - i realize every author ive ever read has been in the same shoes as me. There is no artist that just magically has it easier and never runs into some challenges like this, some challenges can never be overcome because they’re part of the experience of making the project. There’s limitations involved and things change overtime. You won’t always have the same experience with the same story as you make it, or the same feelings involved. Sometimes that's really hard to let go of, if you feel the earlier years were so much better than the struggles you have now. I know I faced that hurdle with FFAK and I am currently going through that with NRD, but even the harder times do change too. It never gets easy to make a comic, but it changes. 

With FFAK, i don’t honestly know how I will finish the complete story. I often struggle too, especially with the third (final) arc, if it really is good enough. In a way, a lot of places of it feel incomplete and rushed, so I tend to worry a lot about how that will go. However, I never thought i’d have a comic like FFAK in the first place, so i feel really lucky to have made it this far at all. Endings do scare me, as there’s just so much pressure involved to deliver and even reach it at all, that it feels almost like an impossible fantasy to pull off in a satisfying manner to yourself or the readers. However, I do think I’ve gotten more excited to reach endings than I used to be even a couple years ago, and I have gotten more forgiving of myself for not being perfect at it. No matter what I manage to make, I’m going to have my own critiques of it because there’s improvements to be made in all aspects of the story. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can actually do so I can learn from it and be more confident in the future. 

FFAK also has such a huge cast, it can be a technical nightmare to figure out. I dont envy authors like GRRM that have a seemingly endless cast to deal with. I already have so much of my hands full with what is essentially one family. And I know for my other comics that I’ve made, the cast has never gotten as out of hand as FFAK’s. But I dont mind having FFAK be like this, because it has been part of my enjoyment of writing the story too. FFAK is generally very motivating because I always have something I’m excited to share about it, and every small progress is a big reward for me. I’ve put a lot of years of work into ARC2 and i am desperate to get to share it with everyone, so I hope readers will enjoy what is to come for the future of the story even though it already is a decade old at this point.

[dandelionprints]

Your Melancholy Calls To Mine - T.Shelby Fic Exchange

Pairing: Sender x Tommy Shelby

Summary: written as part of @raincoffeeandfandoms letter fic exchange (here)❤️

Warnings: mentions of depressive thoughts but nothing graphic

Word Count: 575 (Tommy’s response)

A/N: this is the first thing I have written in a long time and I’m very rusty so apologies in advance if it’s not the best, I hope you enjoy x

Hi Isa, I’m so sorry that it’s taken me ages to get this letter from Tommy to you! He left it on my desk a while ago for me to deliver but I’ve since had piles of work, also courtesy of Tommy, stacked on my desk, leading to a delay. Don’t worry, I haven’t peeked at what he’s written to you, although I hope it makes you smile! Love, Aimee x

@shelbydelrey’s letter

Dear Tommy,

For most of my life i lived in the dark.

The whispers of the people around me

-that i was too quiet, too shy, too dull drove me to hide there. Alone in a corner, unknown to myself, i started to believe in those harsh words and wrote them inside my bones.

That's why I didn't noticed you at first. I was too enthralled with my own isolation to pay attention to the mistery that you were and how could i even solve your puzzle when all of my own pieces were scattered on the floor?

But, in the middle of a crowd and on a particular cold night, your enchanting eyes glued on mine and lured me with

a: Your melancholy calls to mine.

I immediately recoiled, as i used to do with anything remotely good in my life, and thought that my mind was playing tricks on me. I was desperate to be seen but at the same time terrified to be perceived.

At the end it didn't mattered. The projection became desire and i melted against your touch before we became a mess of tangled limbs and stolen breaths.

That wasn't the moment where you saved me although. Our lust drive connection served to quench our souls loneliness but we barely gave each other space for anything else outside that.You saved me when i least expect it. When i was about to drown further into the abyss.

I'lI never forget the pain of being torn apart or the helplessness that took over me after I lost someone I loved. It's something that only through experience you can understand because words fail to capture the feeling. Your warm arms and silent support showed me that grief was a language you were versed on and that the same hurt dilacerated you every night. Thank you for allowing me to make a home on your pauses and for drawing stars around my skin to illuminate the darkness within. I would've gone mad otherwise.

Thank you for making me company and for saving me from myself. As you accepted me with all of my madness and with all of my scars, i accept you with all of your sins and all of your regrets.

Yours Truly, Isabella.

Tommy’s Response

Dearest Isabella,

Thank you for your letter, it’s brought a light to my day that I didn’t know I needed. It’s as gloomy as ever since you’ve been gone, the cold the same as the night we met and dark clouds loom over our heads, though the orange leaves on the trees remind me of you, their warmth shining from within. The days feel so long now without you here to make the loneliness subside, but I understand why we have to be apart.

I’m so grateful that we met that night, that you gave in to your desire and didn’t stay hidden away. I’m almost grateful for the joint misery and melancholy that brought us together, I’ve never had a connection with anyone like that before, whether that be by lust or love. I believe that our souls needed to meet in the abyss of our combined sorrow, to cling to each other in whatever way they could to fill the void that we both only knew as pain.

Even the simple things brought me so much joy, a feeling that I had long since forgotten about. The walk we took that day around the grounds, you in that deep green dress, your hair dancing along with the wind and the beautiful smile that grew on your face as you watched the autumn leaves flow to the floor. That will always be a day I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

I think that even Frances misses you, despite the amounts of tea and hot chocolate that we had her bring us that had her pacing up and down the stairs for the majority of your stay. She has since said that you brought out a kinder, almost softer side to ‘Tommy Shelby’, a side that even I’m beginning to miss.

The people that whispered things about you didn’t have a clue, they still don’t. They’re not important. Little people tell big lies to make themselves feel superior to others, trust me I’ve dealt with a lot of them. You’re none of the things they called you and you’re far from dull. You’re the sun on a cold winter's day, taking the chill from my frosty, broken heart and showering everything in your beautiful light until the pain has passed. For that I will be forever grateful.

I’m sorry if my letter is not what you expected, you write so beautifully and I fear that my thoughts are failing me, leaving the words jumbled on the pages. I just needed to let them fall onto the paper before I convinced myself not to respond, fearing judgement from you.

I know we didn’t really talk about it whilst you were here with me, how we supported each other without having to say a word, but I realise now that I never thanked you. The desperation I had inside to scream, to escape, to finally give in to the devils in my mind, they were only quietened when you were the one to do so. Only you.

You say that I accepted you with all of your madness and with all of your scars and that you accept me with all of my sins and all of my regrets. That is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give me.

I hope to see you again one day and please know that you will never be one of those regrets.

Yours truly,

Tommy Shelby

————

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @peakypoet @moral-terpitude @lyarr24 @cillmequick @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @alasya16 @tommystargirl @elenavampire21 @adaydreamaway08 @slaypussypop-21 @bluesongbird @zablife @cljordan-imperium @look-at-the-soul @rangerelik @helen06dreamer @cyphah @boobooquicksilver

[inkedwingss]

the observer effect (notes to myself)

I've been super busy with my job, and I've also been working on a bunch of personal artistic projects at the same time. Of course, I feel productive, but exhausted and kind of rushed, which I don't like. To me, slow living is not a trend, but a need for which concept I'm constantly going back to— because I truly believe the post-modern schedule is one of the biggest issues we have as human beings right now. Everything is too much, too fast, and the current global mental health conditions can confirm.

We need time to process, feel and be sure of stuff. Thinking through life and choices, meanings and feelings takes time.

Today, after printing zines and drawings (testing and experimenting), I was happy, but anxious. Everything is going as I planned, but I have so many other ideas I want to try, ideas that I might prefer, and things I want to refine. It's not only perfectionism: it's respect for my own creative process, a unique, valuable, and authentic process that will determine my quality, how my message is delivered to my audience and the endurance of what I created. I don't want to be trapped by the fast paced culture that doesn't let us develop the bare minimum skill before trying to make money!

I don't remember where I saw this, or who said it, but it was basically an artist saying how much early exposure can kill the development of skill, that artists are actually supposed to have time away from everything and everyone, time to mess it up and experiment, time to have a mentor maybe, but if not, time to be away from observant eyes and be on your own. ''In physics, the observer effect is the disturbance of an observed system by the act of observation.'' Anyway...

Of course, there is also a bit of perfectionism (that I believe all artists must learn to master, which I still haven't been able to do): '' Maybe... This looks shit and I'm being an idiot. I can see too many mistakes. I need to work harder. Do I even have the time for this? It's going to take ages until it's good enough. For every test, I'm spending my paper and ink! Well, if I want to make any money so this is worth it, I better hurry up!''

So... Another observer is bad, but as my own observer, I am also not very good. Great.

Do you know who is a good one at this? My husband. He just leaves me alone, because he knows I hate people looking over my shoulder as I create something. He gives me space. He doesn't make a big thing out of it, so I'm not embarrassed or pressured by the ''talented, amazing artist'' mask.

When he got home today, I ran to him, as I usually do, and I shared everything I had done. He was excited and appreciative (he is not the kind of person who will compliment just for the sake of ''making you feel good'', and I adore him for that — because I know he is being honest and that means I can be truly authentic, I can question and challenge myself instead of living for pleasing others, which he never—thankfully— allowed me to do). While he was sharing his perspective and making me feel more confident than ever, he said something like:

''You can keep experimenting for as long as you like! I know you enjoy exploring and refining, so you can just try everything until you feel sure!''

My inner child pouted (and so did I). He smiled.

''Even if I make no money out of it?'' I had to ask.

''Of course. Even if you never, ever make any money. I just want you to be satisfied with what you do. You don't need to rush.''

No, but seriously now: that made me cry. I guess I will be taking my time! He hugged me and I said thank you for holding this space for me and all the things I carry, for helping my creativity to be free, tax-free, and to develop naturally, without the pressure of making a profit, of instantly making it work. I do love taking my time, but I also need to point out that having this man who can smell the raw, secret and invisible conditions of my soul from miles away is literally the best thing ever.

He never allows me to lie to myself and to hide, and believe me... I've tried. Resisting is only worse. At some point, I will have to descend into my most vulnerable room, in the underground of my mind palace, and he will be there, sitting, drinking his tea, calmly waiting for me to arrive so we can clean the messy room together.

With that said, I will just be grateful and go back to my creative space, inside this safe frame his masculinity created for me, which is the definition of provision and protection, and I will keep enjoying my process in my own time. No pressure. No rush. Just delight!

(The right observer will disturb you right).

✶ mention list for writing posts (let me know if you want to join): @caustic-splines @hersurvival @icantdance @poetici @informedimagining

@thedayoftherae @sablewing @stumbling-through-time @burntblanc @lelestarmy

@fairytaleinagem @remnantofabrokensoul @yakultstan @illarian-rambling @cssnder

@crow-with-a-typewriter

[averageartistamber]

Okay, So Project Update.

Hey, it's me again. Haven't posted much the past week or so, decided I needed a short break from project work.

First of all gonna admit that I knew going into this year that I'd given myself a ton of work to do this year. I might have over-promised to a degree, not sure if I'm gonna do another "this year's plans" kind of video.

We're in July and one of the projects that I planned has been released, and I'm currently working on a side video (got one speedpaint left to do, then scripts and a few additional drawings).

At the moment, the plan for the next few videos is My Take on Ultraman (1), then Ryan and The Quest Crew (Ep1), Possibly Ultraman (Part 2) if the first part does well. Gonna try something different with the Quest Crew episode where hopefully it won't take as long to make as Fazbear Collection's Pilot did. The episode itself is gonna be much shorter, for one.

After that, I am definitely going to try getting Splatoon: Operation Rock Out! released next...Which for now is going to be simply a one-off story. (With potential for it to be extended into a few more individual "episodes", like an anthology collection, but see my note on fandom content below.)

I've promised Splatoon, so I'm gonna hopefully deliver some Splatoon (maybe early next year? Haven't got a good handle on timing yet.)

I'm not sure if I'm going to continue Fazbear Collection, maybe shelving it until I figure out the most efficient way to make my "story" videos (Got a few ideas to try for the next one). Plus I'm not super happy about how the first episode turned out. As much as I like FNAF, I've noticed with fandom stuff I tend to "cycle" through interests, and can't really "force" something when I'm currently making stuff for a different fandom.

It could make a comeback, episodes will probably just come out much more slowly since it'll be when I "rotate" back into FNAF. It might end up becoming a "casual" side thing where I make art for the AU every now and then, but don't have the pressure of spinning a full written story with it for Youtube Videos.

Gonna be honest as well, the way the FNAF fandom is currently really isn't helping my motivation to make FNAF stuff...I only really decided to make FC into a thing because my most successful videos are the FNAF-related ones, so I felt like I "need" to make FNAF videos since that's what most of my subscribers followed me for.

I think one-off stories might be the better way to handle "fandom" content (as well as the My Take On videos if I decide those work). I think at this point I want to spend a lot more time and energy on original work, after doing almost exclusively fan art for the past few years.

Honestly, I feel like it'd be better to have one "main" project, which will be original work. At least until I fully figure out the "method" to making my videos. Still having fun with it though, and hope to see you again soon with another update.

[katyspersonal]

do u have any opinion on what separates good media and bad media? less to do with quality and more to do with like, messages n themes n stuff

Honestly, it is a hard question for me, because separating quality and themes is not something I usually do... For example, almost all modern media falls for "good message, awful quality", especially TV shows and movies. You know, the usual: they claim to deliver messages about equality, acceptance, women being self-sufficient human beings and not just "mothers and wives", corruption of authority, mature approach in relationship, all that.... but because corporations are lazy fucks that only want your money and promotion by wars on Twitter instead of actually making the world better, they hire the most mediocre (if not outright talentless) people to act, do awful bland writing disconnected from how real humans speak and feel abundant with plot holes more than a sieve, and don't get me started on assasinating the pre-existing characters.

I haven't named any piece of media, but you must have thought of some, be it a reboot or a new project, right? I do not believe that representation, important messages and alike automatically absolve the creators from responcibility to put in effort and do their best. "Good intention, bad media" is real and deadly- hell, all bad delivery of good intention does is just feeds into people's confirmation bias: people who were already apprehensive of said "good messages and themes" only start hating them more after being fed awful quality media and/or having their beloved classic media being turned into low-effort trash, and people who already had these "good messages and themes" internalized just get a "confirmation" that everyone in [insert gender/race/age category/etc] are violently -ist or -phobic for reacting poorly. The media that never changed anyone's mind to the better, nor raised questions that cause an actual thought resonance but only made everyone angrier, despite "good messages and themes".... isn't it bad media?

To get more subjective and personal, I strongly lean towards media that teaches complexity of things and people. Media that draws very clean defition of what people are good and what people are bad won't do anything for people in my opinion: it feeds into confirmation bias at best, makes people angrier at worst. Media that teaches people that absolutely everyone is capable of becoming bad, that all "monsters" you wanna kill were once people just like you, and that the quest of giving them a second chance despite potentially being bitten in the ass by those that are beyond saving is hard but worthy? That's gold for me. Themes of kindness, caring about other people and realising we all are idiots that live on this earth and that healing damaged people is better than throwing them away are my favourite, but this message will be kinda bad if lacking nuance and highlighting the risks! Because destroying yourself is just as bad as destroying others!

I'll say that you are asking a wrong guy about this though, because I am not very well-versed in "media analysis", especially not in the way Westerners go about it (that is a standard in the internets by now). I know Bloodborne is a very good media with very good messages: that messing with the ways to transcend humanity beyond its current "animalistic" state will lead to committing atrocities that ironically trace back to this "animalism", that fighting monsters too vigorously will make you a monster yet some of them are dangerous enough to be killed, that usually sworn enemies are not that different (deadly drinking game: count the similarities between Cainhurst and Healing Church)... heck, even my favourite "all the monsters you hate were people just like you once" is here! :D Very humane themes that provide some direction towards the good, whereas showing existencial horror and the depth of pessimism and evil in fullest!

___________________

Alright, I hope that I did make my point understandable? It is not something I can explain very clearly because, again, I am not familiar with "media literacy" as Western kids know it and just go with my own intuition and approach of my own culture. In short, I think bad and good media are defined by what they give to this world, and we live in the bad times where even poor quality of the product can ensure the media will only give something bad! But that aside, bad media is media that lacks nuance, propaganda of "burning all the witches" is bad but so is propaganda of naive optimism and self-destructive patience that can be dangerous in real life!

[umbra-borealis]

TLDR, Elements of Chaos, a massive Sonic AU I've had for years will be in production, meaning most my spare time will go towards that. C0mms might still be open but I'll be more picky because I want to make sure I can actually deliver quality without overworking myself. It's just me, one singular guy, working on this passion project and while I'm okay with that, keep in mind that things might move slowly. I don't have the mental capacity, free time or funding to work on it full time. I'm still excited though and I hope you guys are too.

And of course, here's that ko-fi link I mentioned.

Transcript:

Umbra's 2024 look-ahead

Hello everyone!

2023 was a rather slow year for me as an artist but eventful for me mentally. Because of this I wasn't able to do as much as I had planned and that, not going to lie, hurts. But I'm also ready to leave that in the past and perhaps just push the pause button on some things to return to later because certain things (like the tarot card project) still live rent free in my head. These big long term projects are most impacted by the small amount of folks interested in them besides myself and before you think I'm complaining, this is actually a bit of a blessing because this means I can put a pin in that and things like it to instead focus on something more important to me...

ELEMENTS OF CHAOS.

This is a Sonic AU, yup. Lets get that out of the way first. I'm far from the only one to have an AU and turn it into a full length fic or comic but the thing is, I'm doing neither. Sonic has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It was a comfort during my most traumatizing years as a child when I had to navigate abuse on the daily, it was a reason for me to not commit sewer slide when I was at my lowest and I cannot begin to express the many ways it affected me as a writer and artist. Together with it's less well known sibling NiGHTS, the Sonic series is the reason I draw/write at all. But as we all know, the Sonic series isn't without it's flaws and just like so many others, I started re-writing bits and pieces I didn't like to form a new narrative.

This is a long haul passion project. The format has already been decided on and I plan to keep 'dev logs' for folks to keep up with if it interests them because I can't promise the release of it's first chapter any time soon. This project only has one person doing all the work and that person is me so if you're interested in supporting me I have a ko-fi link I'll attach to this post (and hopefully more options to come soon) They come with perks too so I don't feel like I'm just e begging, lmao.

Here's a little list of things I'm doing/have to do in order to start publishing.

Character references (Sonic is done already). This is because this story will also feature illustrations.

Website building. Yes, I plan to host a website on Neocities specially for Elements of Chaos.

Actual writing, doi. It's true that I have already worked on the first chapter and gotten positive feedback on what I have so far, but it's far from done!

Cover/page illustrations. This is a storybook type thing. I want to experiment and learn as an artist. This project will be my playground for that and hopefully you'll get to see that growth as the story progresses.

Development will happen in that order, so you can expect references before anything else.

For now, happy new year everyone! I'll share more fun stuff such as a synopsis, world building, stream news etc. in the near future. For now I'm going to enjoy what's left of the holidays before going straight back to work. I look forward to taking everyone along on this creative journey. Thank you!

[campgender]

idk if other folks who switch have experience with this but lately i’ve been teasing out this gordian knot of victim-blaming in which after i have a dicey-or-worse time subbing for someone i get really insecure about my [self / skills / persona] as a dom. the thought process basically goes like:

the person domming didn’t do anything wrong.

therefore anything i feel they did wrong, such as something they introduced without negotiation, is my fault for being upset by because [i’m too sensitive / i’m a fucked up bad victim / whatever].

other people, who are not ontologically Too Much, would be okay with this. no one else has raised this issue with them before so either i’m the only one who’s had a problem or i’m retroactively accusing this person of fucking people’s shit up.

option b is unutterable in addition to genuinely not being my read on the situation therefore me being hurt is my fault, this is what everybody else is okay with / expecting / looking for.

if this shit is What Subs Want & i am thoroughly not delivering it then maybe i’m not any good at domming. (tellingly, my response to this insecurity is never to stop negotiating / checking in so much but rather to draw back from d-type roles.)

so. pick a thread and pull.

“either i shouldn’t be harmed or a lot of other people have been” is a false dichotomy & vast oversimplification of the factors + forces at play (pun intended) here. building + maintaining a sexual ethic is a lifelong process, and i’ve harmed so many people (whether we’ve had ‘a sexual relationship’ or not) as a result of my own ignorance, reactionary beliefs, trauma, fear, power-hunger, insecurity, etc around sex. believing the best of someone — that they mean what they say & aren’t trying to harm me — doesn’t mean treating them as static, never in need of learning; that’s dehumanizing + unfair to both of us. it’s certainly not how i’d want to be treated.

it’s okay for me to need things that are different from other people. even if i was literally The Most Sensitive Man In The World i’m worth accommodating when it’s not harming others & if someone can’t or doesn’t want to meet my needs they don’t have to fuck me.

plenty of people don’t know that there are more boundaries on heaven & earth than have been dreamt of in our philosophy, that there are depths of communication people will travel through with them proactively & earnestly, that there are those of us doing our damnedest to teach these things to one another again & again every time the world tries to write over them.

some of those people, i’ve had the honor of them subbing for me, & the thing is, their limitless wisdom & grace inverts the paranoia entirely: when i tell some d-type stranger what i need to make the night viable, i am projecting the view from a blueprint we’ve drafted together. i trust the people i dom to be honest about their desires (& whether those are being met) because they are why i’m able to be honest about my own. of course i give them what they want; we talk about what that is.

[serafiel-jacobs]

Daily Routine (Fanfic)

New chapter from my main series 🩷

Pinocchio woke up in the morning and got ready for his day, he changed clothes and made his bed, he went to eat breakfast, Pinocchio only ate some fruit because his father was still fixing the kitchen, making small talk with his father before he left for work, telling him to be a good boy while he was gone.

Pinocchio was grounded but at least he wasn’t too upset about it anymore. He decided to start the day by writing a letter to Alice, he had received one from her yesterday, describing her daily life and her other adventures, Pinocchio wrote her back telling her about his daily life, how Gemini can walk around now and how he got a pony. He would have to wait for his father to deliver the letter later, as his father mailed all of it alongside the letters he wrote for Alexander.

Then he decided to draw a little, he thought it would be fun to use Gemini as his model again, putting on a small suit he bought at the store, Gemini was all fancy looking now as Pinocchio began to draw him. Gemini is really happy, he loves it when Pinocchio uses him as a model, it makes him feel pretty, and half of Pinocchio’s sketchbook is him in different poses. Although Pinocchio draws so many different things, drawings of nature, animals like cats or dogs, drawings of houses he sees while outside, sometimes even if it feels a little childish he likes drawing himself and his father together in a simpler style, or drawing himself with his mother or his other loved ones.

After that Pinocchio decides to practice playing the violin, he doesn’t just practice with his mother and he loves playing it even if he isn’t with her, although he can’t practice the piano here since he doesn’t have one at home. This time Gemini decides to join him as well, both playing music together, it’s simple but beautiful, and they should play together more often.

It’s already a little past noon, so he decides to eat something, it has to be something that doesn’t need to be cooked so he decides to make himself a salad, Pinocchio now realizes that the only true thing that he doesn’t know how to do when it comes to making food is how to use a stove or an oven.

Then Pinocchio decides to do his favorite thing, he has accumulated a good amount of books, and his bookshelf is almost full, currently, he doesn’t have any new books to read but he still likes re-reading the ones he already has, specially his fairy tales collection, after all the incredible things Pinocchio has seen, he wonders if all these stories are really just works of fantasy, oh well, real or not they are so fun to read, Gemini now reads them alongside him while he sits on his shoulder.

He puts the book he is reading down, it’s time for him to do his chores, he cleans his room and then goes around the house cleaning, dusting, sweeping, and mopping the floors.

It’s not long before his father comes back home so Pinocchio decides to play a board game with Gemini, now that Gemini can walk around they decide to play a card game, as the cards are something light enough that Gemini can hold in his hand.

“Gemini you can’t add +4 and +2 in the same turn!”

“Oh now you follow the rules of the games we play, what happened to the “those are just suggestions”?”

Pinocchio grabbed Gemini and put him inside his cage, then he started shaking it.

“You brat, This is cricket abuse!”

“Ugh let's play another game”

“You are such a sore loser,” Gemini said as he got out of his cage, feeling dizzy. “We could play chess, we have never played together”

Pinocchio liked that idea, he grabbed the board and settled the pieces, and he went first making his move. Then Gemini made his move, pushing his piece with his body.

“Looks like you are having a lot of fun moving around” Pinocchio was happy that Gemini was happy, as he said that Pinocchio made his next move.

“I am” Gemini had a smug grin on his face, “Check”

Pinocchio looked at the board, seeing that Gemini’s queen was directly against his King, he had no other way to defend it.

Pinocchio tried grabbing Gemini but this time the cricket was faster and started jumping and running to avoid him.

—-

“Son, what are you doing?” Geppetto asked as Pinocchio was kneeling looking behind the couch.

“Nothing” Pinocchio lied, pulling an innocent smile, “Me and Gemini are just playing hide and seek”

Geppetto smiled, “It’s getting late, maybe you should take a bath, you and Gemini can play later”

Pinocchio nodded, a bath was a good idea instead of just a shower. He filled the bathtub with water and soaked in it, he also made a few bubbles with the liquid soap.

“Hi buddy” Gemini jumped to the side of the tub, then jumped to a soap holder that was inside, Gemini using it as a small boat so as to not get inside the water, he is waterproof but he doesn’t want to get wet; he is liking floating in the water like this, maybe he should see about getting a mini boat, it could match with his new tiny tram.

“So you were hiding here”

“This is the last place you were going to look for me”

Pinocchio gave out a sigh he always loses when he plays board games with Gemini.

“Can’t you let me win at least once?”

“Nope, I like seeing you getting mad and turning into a brat”

“I’m NOT a brat!”

“Sure, whatever you say”

They both laughed, even if Pinocchio always loses they had a good time together.

—-

Pinocchio ate dinner and started to watch his father assemble the new stove and oven, he asked him why he doesn’t just read the instructions manual but that was the wrong thing to say because his father went on a rant about how he is a great engineer and assembling a little stove is nothing for him. Pinocchio just nodded at what his father was saying, but he and Gemini looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

It was getting late so Pinocchio got ready for bed, he wrote a few things in his diary about what he had done during the day and about what he had been feeling lately.

After that he went to bed and so did Gemini, both tugging themselves into their respective beds, saying goodnight to each other.