#no point in doing it if theres no passion
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Dont want this to be a waste of time but I'm gonna yell it out for most of these people bothering you lately
ITS A 17+ HORROR COMIC. Not expecting Gore or gruesome deaths is actually some crazy level of ignorance someone could have (trust me I've seen a lot of it) so if you hate with a passion your character dying, I got advice
1. Leave the comic alone
2. Write your own
3. Watch the actual source material if you hate characters dying for a story, trust me Sega would not let your fav character die
4. Don't bother the creator they have better things to do, its good to critic it but thats why theres a comment (notes) section, instead of bothering them with the literal ASK option.
And 5. this being a horror comic, and you finding out Sonic's best friend is dead, expect it to have a purpose in the story way beyond just "shock value"
Ever heard of the phrase "Let them cook" think and use it and trust me it will turn out great for ya when reading :)
All good points, all good points, though I will also contest your fourth point a bit: I think critiques should only be given to people actually asking for them. My goal right now isn't to practice and improve my art/storytelling, my primary objective here is to just tell the story. There will be other times for the former -- And the same idea can be extended, of course, to literally any other creator.
Anyway, yeah, as you said and as I've said before: Tails Was Not Killed For Shock Value. There Is A Purpose.
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hi, thank you. youve opened a can of worms that cannot be closed
killer is such an interesting character to me. i realized that im not actually too sure where to start but ill start with his timeline;
the idea of a character whose home was slowly destroyed for reasons outside of their control and beyond what they couldve ever thought was real is an incredibly interesting concept to me. i also love psychological horror and reality breaking type of things in relation to it.
to be transformed into something outside of the bounds of definition, and live with the consequences of that, of your loss of autonomy is terrifying. to be named under that total loss is horrifying. to know that everybody will only know your name and never what you went through to get there, that no one would even really care. not that you could get yourself to. theres so much potential with the idea of someone who wants to drain your world of everything for entertainment, and they can forcefully recode it, and they do not care about you because you are just a game character to them. and you are the only one aware of this. and when youre taken out of the timeline by a strange man who can also forcefully shift your control of your situation, everyone will only know you as just as bad as him. as a murderer with no reason. and every time you look at this man (nightmare) all you can feel is the same hatred you feel for yourself. you cant help but feel like youre the same. but this isnt about nightmare as much as i really do love him and writing his character (also super passionate about him)
i have a lot of problems in general with his fandom portrayal and the fact that we either see him as portrayed as either incredibly childish, dumb, very sexualized, etc. and its okay to want to write him how you want to write him, have fun, just not our cup of tea
to us, hes incredibly agile, quiet. hes eerie and incredibly smart and much more aware of whats going on than he lets on. he has lost all respect for anyone who claims theyre more powerful than him, and the way he taunts is by bringing them back to his level (or just doing things he knows pisses them off but not enough to get him killed for it. massive staring problem and wont elaborate on it). and while he can be flirty, where i understand the sexualization comes from.
i think i just crave more in depth characterization from him. how terrifying he is during battles, how he knows the knives he fights with better than the air he breathes and the placement of his feet just as much. how he could be using his magic but its difficult to fight him even without it. the absence of what he could be doing and the presence of how difficult what he is doing showing through. his disconnection from the world around him and how hard it is to realize that everything around you is just codes. that everything is malleable in the wrong hands and everyone lives their lives blissfully unaware of how quickly things can change. and how he could be deeply angry by this but never actually feel it well in his chest like he sees with others. he isnt indifferent, and at some point, somewhere he might express that care. but he cant. and this is it. and he doesnt know how to move on from that.
maybe when he gets close to people his relationships end up showing slow signs of trust. when he does trust people is he surprised if they leave? how scared is he to depend on anyone when no one was ever there to? maybe one day he finally learns to sleep with his chest or back exposed and around people. and his version of hanging out is going "hey i know a spot" and its a 50 minute walk through a closed off forest but its beautiful. and youll probably get some diseases, just gotta hope you dont. the next place is probably a feral cat colony hiding in the sewers hes been feeding and slowly gaining the trust of. hes weird.
in general i really do love complex characters and think about them a lot. and i love seeing how complex characters can be written. i love exploring the possibilities with him and i find that when we either write him or collab stories where we write characters interacting with him, we have a lot of fun and end up thinking about him a lot.
my friend @nullandvalid is a big killer enthusiast too and if you send him an ask you could probably get a big rant too. (also @thaltro. both him and null write killer super well imo. been incredibly fun to listen to them talk about how they write him and engage in writing stories with them) thank you for giving me time to yap about it, ill probably be thinking of more in the meantime but this is all i have atm fhahaha
another one for fun, pretty experimental. this one was one of those "draw regardless of whether or not you think it looks good" things. swore to myself the next utmv character i drew and posted was gonna be fell but here we are. gonna try to get used to posting things that i dont consider my best work. hi killer love you dude
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im gonna be honest i dont understand rtumblr (lore and the fact i find rping very very difficult) but yall r having fun and i support u all
#i have tried dnd with friends and i quite literally cant be anyone other than myself#<- the campaigns i was in have continued without me simply because i was always late due to time zones#and once i did wake up it sessions were either complete or in full swing so i had. no idea what was happening and was too tired to read#i want to play dnd it seems so fun but i literally dont like it#is this autism#probably#i also used to do rps with friends (seperate of dnd) and they were always so. boring#i just cant get into rp or worldbuilding or making my own lore. its just not fun to me#i like consuming other peoples lore!#like in games! but i cant make my own#no point in doing it if theres no passion#all 3 of my ocs are just characters i barely draw#n e way#uhh#this was a long ramble?! in tags!?!?#i find writing very boring unless im super interested#and doing that with other people is unpredictable and not fun#I LIKE WATCHING OTHERS DO IT I JUST CANT DO IT MYSELF#ok i better wrap this up no way someone is reading all this lol#yang posts
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POOR GABRIEL MONTEZ! YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING DID YOU? ALL YOU WANTED WAS POWER. SECURITY. SAFETY. & THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT! JUST IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR BODY. LETS JUST HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS JUST HOPE YOU WONT HAVE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#cw gore#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#jrwi gabriel#jrwi gabriel montez#LOOK FAMILIAR?hahahahahDONT WORRY#IM REUPLOADING THIS HERE BC i fixed up the drawing a lil. and also i wanted to add main tags#U WONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THISSUN N THE POST ON MY SIDEBLOG.i changed the image there too.HA!!!!!!!#ANYWAY.i rambled plenty about pain and gabe on my sideblog.SO LETS TALK ABT THE ART SHALL WE.ihad i very hard time getting the colors down#would u believe i nearly left this uncolored??FUCKED UP!! it was only a sketchhow did it end up like this. it was only a sketch...#BUT IM RLY GLAD I WENT W COLORING IT.this time i actually used the airbrush n pencil tools BUT i also have a handy dandy brush i made#its just the mspaint air brush tool. fucking LOVE THAT THING. but now its in fire alpaca and it can be slightly transparent.IT LOOKS SOGOOD#perfect for splatters and grime.i love you mspaint i love youuu.im also so happy w the blood here.i think i reached a shift last year#back when i made that genloss fanart something abt the way i draw blood finally CLICKED and im like OH. the inside must always be darker.#like i KNEW that already but it was like my hand itself finally had it click.i wonder what i will learn next?I LIKE THE ORGANS HERE TOO#not as veiny or thready as i usually draw em. but i think thats fine. not as WET as id like em to be but thats also fine.#i got the point across. the point ofc being WOW THIS IS GRUESOME AND PAINFUL AND TERRIBLE#I LOVE HIS EXPRESSION.i love pain and thinking abt pain. you lose yourself to it after enough time passes of just being in an ocean o agony#at one point its just too tiresome to scream or writhe. theres a point when the body accepts it.sometimes.atleast.#OHHH GABRIEL AS A CHARACTER DELIGHTS ME SO MUCH.he is a dog to me.a thing to serve others.I WISH I KNEW MORE#WHAT ELSE DID YOU WANT BOY?? SURE POWER AND SECURITY AND SAFETY ARE NICE.BUT DID YOU HAVE DREAMS? WANTS? PASSIONS?#WHAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND THAT TIGER TATTOO ON YOUR ARM?WHAT DO THE DOGTAGS SAY BOY?I WISH I COULD HAVE TEA W U#OHHH TO SIT DOWN WITH A CHARACTER AND JUST SPEAK TO THEM. AND YET. AND YET IN THE END ITS ALL TRAGEDY AND COMEDY#TRAGEDY AND COMEDY THAT IS SO SO PAINFULLY UNBALANCED. SIGH.#WHATEVER CMERE BOY YOURE BECOMING AN OC OF MINE NOW UR GONNA BE IN SPACE AND UR NAME IS GONNA BE VINEGAR#UR STILL GONNA BE SHIP OF THESEUSED THOUGH. OOOHHH GABRIEEELLL GABRIEL MONTEEEZZZ#HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE BUILT INTO YOU.HOW MANY DID YOU LOVE AND CHERISH.HOW MANY TATTOOS DO U RECOGNIZE ON UR NEW ARMS#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? ON THE NIGHT U WERE SIRED?WERE YOU EXCITED? DID YOU SEE YOUR BOSS' FACE?WHAT WAS THIS PROMOTION LIKE?
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Vettonso x Similar Helmets
SV Germany 2012 x FA Monaco 2013: Gold & Dark Red
I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)
And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?
SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red
Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!
I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.
SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!
Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???
Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;
SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue
I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.
I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?
SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet
AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....
But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.
#all of my posts subheading should be: 'its probably not that deep BUT-'#i can't believe ive made two deeply researched and beloved posts in a row one day after the other#posts sponsored by: 12 am red bull consumption. my all-consuming devotion and love for vettonso. and my unwillingness to do schoolwork#i mean i felt a lot of emotions and had fun making it but like. hey. could you put this effort into school?#anyways feeling deeply emotionally affected about helmets and their symbolism#i think in the entirety of f1 seb and fernando are two of the most dedicated and passionate about helmet designs and symbolism?#so this post is very special to me :] helmet fuckers unite <3#again: they say they aren't friends and don't share any hobbies and im just staring at them like YOU IDIOTS!!!#its just that spongebob meme of him pointing out the trashcans. like guys. be fr rn. you totally share hobbies#both like helmet design. paddel and pingpong. sustainability. cars. racing. european football. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON#well im glad they swapped helmets at some point(i think nando gave seb two pretty old ones as well. now thats dedication!)#if they werent cowards i bet they couldve also had a 5+ hour long discussion about helmet design ;;;;;;#thinking also about how fernando has one of seb's in his museum >:) but if only it were one of the ones on this list. sigh.#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion#well lmk if theres any other vettonso helmets you think are similar!!! im pretty blind to seb helmets that arent rbr era tbh#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#vettonso#we do a little bit of f1
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i cant do this today
#back to back sp*derverse posts saying like#“WHERREE DID GWEN GET TEAL POINTE SHOES!! SHES REBELLING AGAINST BALLET WOW!!!”#first of all theyre demi pointe real pointe shoes would tear her achilles tendons in half#there are specific colors. of shoes. for different ballets. they arent hard to find#yes typically tights and shoes are meant to match the wearers skin tone#you can paint. pointe shoes. people do this so often#is google hard#is it difficult#followed by a “WHAT YEAR IS IT.. THERES SOCIAL MEDIA .. BUT SHE USES CDS ??!” its 2014 man#its 2014. gwen canonically uses old shit its 2014#<- at least it is in the comics. i dont know about the movies but id assume that stays true#skyler posting#i need to start blocking these tags#the “gwen is rebelling against the harmful institution that is ballet” shit genuinnnennellyy pisses me off#do you know how many years worth of training and dedication and actual blood and sweat and tears that go into ballet#let alone graduating to going en pointe like she is#it is so obviously something shes passionate about if she was willing to put that level of work into training her body to handle being en po#inte#im gonna eat glass im serious
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Something about how Raph would have the most to return to when it comes to being helpful—there’s only so much Donnie can eat, and there’s only so much Leo can physically heal before having to face the fact that most of the wounds are emotional. Raph can keep going though, the way he always has, he can keep going, he can be better this time, he can be the big brother he was supposed to be for all of them and this will never happen again never never never never
#ask#canary continuity#rottmnt#ooooh and these play into the insecurities he LEVERAGED against donnie while under the curse#raph and donnie both have really clear cut Roles in the family and this influences who they are. and a lot of the time how they interact#and raph while cursed pushed and pushed and pushed as a matter of projection#while fundamentally failing to do HIS job because of it#he didnt even look up during the protein shake prank. he kicked the closet door and passively complained later#he let mikey and leo hunt donnie for sport (he only intervened and joined the fight because leo got hurt which was the thing that broke his#self-restraint)#he told donnie he was selfish over and over and over again#and worst of all he did the most damage to him physically. he destroyed donnies passion for the only hobby he had#he used his strength against his little brothers when had SWORN he never would. never like that#and now donnie cant even hear his voice without screaming and crying#raph cant console him. he really wants to and he cant#theyre actually going to have a bit of an encounter next chapter and Ermmm (it does not go well)#theres been glimpses of how leo and mikey have been taking it but ive been brushing over raph and like. honestly hes been doing the worst#he's a shadow on the wall. he's so quiet and subdued and distant#all he wants is to make it better and it is plaguing his every waking thought. your assessment is correct on him#im not sure if CW is really going to go to the return to normalcy after the worst has passed but i assume he'd get super overprotective-#-from this point on!
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am i simply cursed to not find a hotspot review that i like
#they either dont get the point of the album across or focus on certain songs only or just totally miss the point#because why have i twice now read reviews that say only the dark is about a 'night of passion'. no its not 😭#and dont even get me started on the pitchfork review and what that person said about you are the one. im still mad#no i won't take matters into my own hands#and this isnt me being upset about mainstream pubs and reviews too this goes for indie reviews also#i get hotspot is a strange album initially to digest and it has its flaws and im not looking for reviews that praise it#because theres ones that do but do so in a way that doesnt pinpoint what to me at its core i like about hotspot#anyways this is just me worrying about context and all that and worried about opinions of nonetheless as a result#because that wedding in berlin -> loneliness transition is brutal#also this just ties into my general dissatisfaction with reviews of their recent albums but thats a whole other can of worms
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the eternal cycle of "I need to get work done" -> "I need to push through my exaustion to get my work done" -> "Im even more exausted and can get no more work done" -> "Im a terrible person for not doing any work" -> "I need to get work done" -> ...
#stupid college portfolios#why does every college have a different set of requirements for what i need to make?#i need to make like 20 more artworks and finish a game by the end of the summer or im not getting in to any of them#my art isnt all that great anyways so even if i did finish it all what even would be the chances of me getting in#and even if i did get into them what would that even do#spend the rest of my life in crunch culture for a job i hate#lose all of my passion#or alternitively try to make it on my own#and innevitably fail against a bloated market and die poor and alone#theres no point to anything
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Hi Toxooz, how do you get yourself to draw so frequently? 👀👀👀
bc i have literally 84 things going on at once in my brain at all times that my highly visually obsessed brain Has To physically get in front of my eyes so that i can see or else will i think abt it over and over again and Brother I'm always envisioning things characters scenes scenarios outfits designs colors all of it in my cranium like angry itchy itchy ITCHY bees until i draw them out lmfao even if i don't know what to specifically draw at the current moment imma still end up drawing somehow ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think at this point it's literally hardwired into my brain that I Gotta draw its what I've been doing since I could hold a pencil tbh it's how i cope with being -gestures vaguely- Here and alive, i actually gotta force myself to take a day off and schedule days where I DONT draw bc I know it's wearing on my hands and wrists 😬 I guess physically drawing grounds me in a way and keeps me (mostly) sane like if I don't draw for a few days i start getting Vaguely Antsy it's fukkin weird and i think at this point my love for my characters has surpassed like any form of art block if that makes sense??? like they literally take up 92% of my brain if not more, and the only way to see them is to draw them but yeah it's just what i do it's my jelly n my jam which is why I'm literally so glad i realized that i don't want to make drawing a job/career bc God help me if i start dreading drawing bc of the stress of money I've been drawing like crazy for like 2 decades straight and I only wanna draw more man idk!!!!! It's just one of them 'how the brain formed around what you do an assload of times' thangs
Answer translation: idk I just like to draw a lot lmfao
#its like the kids say ✨💅its how i express myself✨💅#and dont get it twisted im aware this is not healthy lmfao#dont aspire to b like me just draw or dont draw man its abt the want#like i said drawing is just What I Do at this point i didnt train theres not some ''oh draw for at least 30 minutes a day' shit#i draw fast as shit (probably obviously ) and so much its probably unnatural AHA#the secret is make drawing the only outlet for your brain to not completely self implode at the mere idea of existing#for 24 years!!!!! :)#honestly thats why im getting progressively more Tired when every mf and their grandma tries to convince me to sell my shits#like brother this is a part of me how can i give away something i created and inevitably formed a bond with for like 100 bucks#i caint do it and so if i go in with the expectation to imediately give it away then man i dont even want to be making art in the first pl#like for me Personally if im not going to make something that i fall in love with and want to look at occasionally then#Literally what is the point of me making anything#what is the point of me making my body and mind create a piece if not for my own personal joy???#but thats just physical art ig#like digital stuff and selling it for money if some1 wants it im aight but physical paintings??? that shit is Me and Mine#like just bc i Can make art doesnt immediately mean i need to make money from it yknow#my brother in christ when it comes to the the only true outlet for me to find joy and inspiration in living i Do Not care about money#i will take any amount of shitty job abuse if it means i conserve my passion#ill get a scarring accident from welding before i will stress cry over a deadline for a project that i dont even want to do#absolutely terrified of that path and feeling it is The Worst for me#like literally thank FUCK i realized this when i was just in a community college and not balls deep in debt at some fancy university#granted late as all hell and all my opportunities of taking free welding classes in my early years have long passed but still glad#just stick me on an abandoned island with canvases n paint n shit and ill b fine#god knew if i managed my time better and wasnt Really Fucking Exhausted all the time i would be unstoppable#like ofc making money while drawing what i want is the dream no doubt but the chances of that are slim and the road to get there is even#slimmer#ANYWAY holy shit not to get hella preachy but i have Thots
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Would there be an au in which Kane and eiya's roles are reversed with Kane being the jealous one and eiya is not?
honestly, i dont think so. on the surface it seems like a fun au, but a LOT would have to be changed in order for that to happen, to the point where im not sure if it can be done in a way that doesnt just boil down to "kane has eiya's personality now" or "eiya has kane's personality now." because the thing is that core aspects of their personalities and stories helped pave the way for what happened to happen. while kane IS impulsive and CAN get irritated and angry quickly he just. fundamentally wouldn't go as far as eiya did.
my main thing is that, assuming laxo would still meet kane in the first volume, it would be extremely fucked up of him to have fallen in love with laxo and discover what is/has happened to him, just to team up with his abuser years later just because hes super pissed off at his sister. that would be genuinely disgusting behavior that is so extremely far removed from kane as a character that it makes me a little sick. this is what i mean when i say a lot would have to be changed, because the thing about eiya is that she doesnt know about nex's connection to laxo when they first meet him, she doenst know about his and the council's ulterior motives and genuinely believes that he has their best interest at heart.
the only way this could kind of work is if kane never finds out about nex and laxo in the first volume. but even then, nex would never want to recruit kane and would refuse to assist in doing so.
basically the bottom line is it would require a lot of plot and character butchering that becomes a little too uncomfortable for me imo!
#i'm not mad btw and im not saying this to sound mean or snappy! like i said it sounds like a fun au. and by itself thats fine!!!#you dont have to look very deeply into it like i do!! it can just be a fun idea and theres nothing wrong with that!#its just that like. as the writer of this story and with how passionate about these characters i am-#-with every au i make (especially swap aus like this) i need to take into account how these decisions will impact how the plot plays out#and because these are my characters i really really dont wanna see aus that completely butcher their og personalities and arcs#ofc switching it up sometimes is fun and great but if its to the point where they're unrecognizable thats when im like. idk abt this!!#ask#fantasiaheart22#au#ch: kane#ch: eiya
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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?
#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this#most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful#i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them#i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to#my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead#i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point#and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter#hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened#hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well#and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything#im proud of him but fuck it stings a little#levi.txt#vent tw#oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this#if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg#and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company#literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich#i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all
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ok i switched to netflix so image is from google but the worst thing jn did actually was redesigning the eggs to look like the games. that was literally like one of the things the anime did that everyone agreed was really cute and cool and accepted as the usual canon, why on EARTH would you ruin that
#like these are just boring! why would you do that!#actually a big issue i have with jn is the pokemon go-ification of it#like. at times this feels less like a gen 8 series and more like a pokemon go anime series#with the raids and the designs and for some reason they want you to think theres a huuuge difference between catching and battling#which yes they’re different but they act like theyre different ideologies and passions. like. the episode where ash and goh fight over whats#whats better- battling or catching#and like. ash. you catch pokemom. goh. you battle pokemon.#its. REALLY not something that should divide you two#ik its just for one episode but its just dumb to me#and i dont take a huuuge issue w this cause i excuse it as goh just being good at finding catch points#but yeah his entire technique being lifted from the go app is kinda cringe#echoed voice#jn lb
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my final history project would be so interesting and fun if my graduation didnt hinge on me meeting deadlines. school without fail always kills all passion i have for anything its infuriating
#so many people have walked up to me like ohh why didnt u forecast digital art? what do u mean u dont wanna do art as a job?#BECAUSE ILL HATE DOING ART IT WILL BECOME A CHORE I DESPISE ALWAYS EVEN IF THERES NO DEADLINE#reading logs in middle school took my passion for books out back and shot it point blank#i barely read anymore and sometimes i get so sad about that#bc ill read an interesting book in lit thatll inspire me to write and then the unit passes and none of it remains#heliichats
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My mental health be so good and yummy tasty and then I remember I have to pay rent. Then I remember I have to buy groceries. Then I remember I need to buy gas. Then I remember I need to pay my car insurance. Then I remember I need to pay my renters insurance. Then I remember I need to pay for my cats food. Then I need to pay for my cats litter as well as some toilet paper for myself. Oh shit we're out of detergent- lemme run yo the store and pay for some more cleaning supplies. Oh, but our garbage disposal is broken, let me pay the maintenence man to come fix it. Did you want to have a treat after work? I hope you can afford it. Did you want to work at this place you're passionate for doing something you love? Sorry- we're only open 4 days a week, so you'll need a second job to pay your rent. Don't forget, your family and friends have birthdays coming up! Get them a present so you're not a bad friend. Or make them one- what do you mean you don't have the energy? Dont forget that the new canvas will cost 6.99! Shoot, you're depressed? Luckily, your therapy is only 200$ an appointment- you can pay that, right? And your life saving medications, of course! That'll be 850$- yes, that's with your insurance included. Don't you want to feel better? Please dress better- you're not being very professional. If you can't afford to dress professionally maybe you shouldn't be working professionally. Yes, a laptop is required for this position, but it would be in your best interest to buy it yourself. No, we don't have these hours available for you, even though I just told you how understaffed we are. What do you mean you don't want to work? What do you mean you don't want to pay?
If you're not paying, what are you doing? Stop.
#i hate it here#im a teacher btw. teaching is my passion and i would work even if i did not get paid#but bitch we are getting paid and crazy news its not enough#this morning i woke up so excited to pay rent because i was paid same day and its a lot more convenient to my brain#and yet! and yet. i did not get paid enough. i did not get paid enough <3 and i never will <3#this is the job ive been happiest at. i love my coworkers i love my boss i love the environment i ENJOY GOING TO WORK#but theres no damn point if i dont get paid enough to sustain my home#i dont think i can handle another job. even my previous job was too much#but it paid better at least#so i can either be happy? or i can afford to pay my bills#idk how to ask for help inna way that isnt straight up texting my boss “hey listen if i come in today im straight up gonna kill myself”#because what the fuck#im happy. my default mood is joy. even looking at bathroom tiles makes me pleased with how nicely they are lined up#aND YET I WANNA RIP MY OWN ORGANS OUT AND EAT THEM!!!! I WANNA FUCKING DIE I WOULD RATHER DO SO THAN CONTINUE IN THIS DYSTOPIA AAAAAAAAAAGH
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🤔🤔🤔
#maybe i do need to make a trophy drinkablity tier list#putting these together bcs duh vettonso but also i need to collect every pic of this genre#nah but seriously i need to make a directory of trophies based on 'does this work as a cup' LMAO#thatll be my passion project at some point. thatll be the peak of my f1 posting 😭#but hehehee yknow....theres so many similarities btwn nando and seb on podiums#both kiss their trophies....both say 'hey is anyone gonna drink out of this'#rip vettonso </3 they would've loved the japan 23 trophy#but hey you knows also on the podium of that seb pic? Fernando 🤭#they exchanged tips on trophy procedure 🤭🤭#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#low effort posting okay 😭😭😭 i just think theyre silly!!!!
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