#no other classes & we were doing like a test to see if youre physically capable enough to join the army

[uygfiug]

im struggling so hard to remain polite

[gingerminx75]

Consequences. Part 1

With my new shape comes new attention. Catcalls that I never heard before. The hotter weather means shorter shorts and a minimal tank top. I am not dressing for them, I am dressing for me. It appears that the men in my neighbourhood didn’t get that memo. My schedule too tight for me to vary when I run, and not wanting to drive, where I run. It’s safe to say I have become predictable.

The calls are becoming more difficult to ignore. Shouts of, “leave your door open, I know where you live”. Them “accidentally” blocking my path and leaving me stammering as I ask them to move. As I blush and lower my gaze, they laugh at me, reminding me that I am smaller, weaker and regardless of my running, slower.

I return home and while soaking in a nice hot salt bath a see an advertisement on my feed. Women’s self defence classes. This might be exactly what I need. An opportunity to learn how to defend myself and hopefully gain the confidence to put these guys in their place.

Unfortunately the course is not local, but there is a one week condensed program. I can take a week off work, have a mini vacation and return a who new person.

I contact the instructor, he seems a bit aloof, but that should not matter. I just need him to teach me how to defend myself. As a retired LEO, he should have a lot of experience with deviant minds and how they pick their prey.

I pack, excited for my adventure. Shoes, running shorts (but not too short), white tank top and white cotton panties. Just in case the class doesn’t wear me right out I pack a few casual clothes and my favourite little black dress.

My flight was uneventful, arriving in the south it’s a bit warmer than I am used to, but very beautiful. I’m glad I didn’t bring sweat pants, I will sweat enough as it is.

As I was travelling to attend the course, he had kindly offered to pick me up at the airport and take me to my hotel. A short cab ride in the morning and we will begin.

I was pleasantly surprised by his appearance. 6’2, piercing eyes and wonderful broad shoulders. He watched me approach, quietly confident. No smile, yet he didn’t appear displeased. His commitment to fitness was evident. I can only hope my training is as thorough.

I get to bed early, get up, quick shower and a light breakfast. Before I leave my room, I do a quick turn around and like what I see. Simple, comfortable but practical.

I go outside and have to take a few pictures, the landscape, even within the city is so pretty. I am not used to the hills, but it might help my conditioning. I turn to look back at the hotel to see if my cab has arrived, but to my surprise I see my instructor.

He explained to me that the other two participants had canceled, and I could reschedule or train one on one. I couldn’t rationalize travelling and taking time off twice, and while he was slightly intimidating, I really wanted to do this.

I hopped in his car, and after a short while we arrived at his house. With the lack of students, he explained that we would use his garage gym, rather than rent an area. Odd, but logical.

The gym was well setup, primarily free weights, with a few machines. The best part was the wide open door and quietly humming fans that kept the space fresh and comfortable. His house being set back from the road, and nicely treed, we were able to keep music playing and not disrupt the neighborhood.

We quickly got to work. Physical assessment first. Taking my measurements, testing my flexibility. Gently, but firmly assisting me to get the fullest stretch. Next came the weights. Setup so that I wasn’t working to failure, but able to complete ten good reps. Form being more important than moving a heavy load. He explained to me that if I don’t push myself and find out what I’m capable of, I will never know my limitations. That knowing what I can handle is the best way to boost my confidence.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but his “warmup” felt a lot like my workout. A quick break for water while we discussed the day’s workout.

Weights first, then an introduction to hand to hand training. The weights progressively heavier, as I grew tireder. Quickly and sharply corrected, I quickly realized that there was one right way to do things…. His way.

I appreciated the attention to detail, even as some as the criticism stung. I wanted to do well, I just didn’t know what to do. Frustrated with my failures. He didn’t appear to notice, continuing to correct me as he saw fit.

Watching me squat. Nudging my feet into proper position. Slightly wider. Toes out. Correcting the arch in my back with a firm hand. Close enough that his voice sounded like a whisper in my ear. “Yes, that’s it”. “Deeper now”.

That simple affirmation, after so many struggles, felt so good. Re-energized, I wanted more. I wanted his praise. Trying extra hard, legs starting to tremble as I descend. Him gently supporting the weight and allowing me to collect myself. Taking away his support feels like the weight doubled as I rise. The pause at the bottom ruined the momentum. I struggle to return to my start position. This time he allows me to struggle. For the first time, I see a hint of a smile.

I rack the weights and catch my breath. He leads me to the bench press. I assume the position. Feet flat, legs parted. Squared up to the bar. Standing behind me, he helps me unrack the weight. Light enough to not need a spotter yet, he stands and the end of the bench. Watching, guiding me with simple instructions. I’m concentrating on my technique, but distracted by his voice. I like it.

His whole demeanour authoritative, but confident. Self assured, with no need to be cocky. Quite obviously used to giving directions, rather than taking them. We watches me, arms crossed over his chest. Unintentionally showing off those gorgeous arms.

I don’t notice that he is watching me too. Watching both my form and my reactions. Watching my shorts ride up a bit as my back arches. Careful to stay in contact with the bench, unaware that my shorts have adjusted. The white cotton of my panties gleaming against the black silkiness of my shorts. Legs rolling outward, the damp spot on my panties that very likely isn’t sweat.

———-

I finish the set, get up and adjust my clothes. Riding up and exposing more than I’d like. Ready to wrap up for the day, I’m ready to go back to my room and relax.

My day isn’t over yet though, on the drive back to the hotel I receive a stern lecture about the importance of situational awareness. Learning to unconsciously scan my surroundings for threats. Being aware of what is present, and what can hurt me. I have been accused of being naive before. I want to believe that people are not all bad. And that kindness is not weakness.

Back in my room, I slowly strip. Enjoying the tightness of my hard worked muscles. Enjoying the sheen of sweat. Shyly wishing that someone was there to taste it. Running a bath, sipping a glass of wine. Strolling lazily around my room. Not a care in the world.

Morning arrives too early and I am outside and waiting before he arrives. Dreading the workout to come, but looking forward to it at the same time. I expect to see changes in myself by the end of the week. Wondering if anyone else will notice as well.

He picks me up, and today drives in the opposite direction of his home. I enjoy the scenery and wonder where we are off to. He pulls into a gorgeous wooded drive. Parks the car and takes two water bottles from the backseat.

I follow curiously as he walks down the path. His steps longer than mine, I have to run/walk to keep up. No small talk, no wasted energy. A man on a mission, but unwilling to share the plan with me.

We pass the free space area of the park and enter the trail system. Here he gets a bit more talkative. Asking me what I’m seeing, what I’m feeling and telling me to let him know if I get nervous. The last question seems odd. I don’t imagine anyone bothering us, not with his size and demeanour.

Today’s workout involves functional strength. Dead arm hangs from convenient overhanging branches. Some too tall for me to reach. He easily boosts me up and helps me down.

Hill climbing, wind sprints, pushups and skip rope. Oddly thrilled with the praise for something especially well done. The day is hard, but enjoyable. The sunshine, the dedicated attention of someone willing to help me grow better and stronger.

He seems very concerned for my comfort, always checking in to make sure that I am okay. Making sure that I am not afraid. As the day draws on, he seems almost frustrated with my answers. I’m not afraid, I am enjoying the adventure. I’m learning, I am growing and I am having a great time. This day is everything I wanted and more.

We stop to break a water break and sit in a lightly shaded clearing. I take a moment to rub a cramp out of my shoulder. I’m beginning to feel the effects of the past days’ efforts. He suggests that I sit up straight, back against the tree. Reaching my arms up high above my head. He stands in front of me, awkwardly close. Taking both my wrists in one hand and helping me stretch. It feels so good as the tension rises, then is released.

One more stretch he says, this time raising me to my feet. Arms up stretched above my head. Pulling me onto my tip toes. When I expected him to of release the pressure and let me down, he asked once more, “what are you feeling?”, “are you afraid?” I answer again, “I am nervous, but safe. I feel safe with you”.

Instead of reassuring him, I see a flash of anger across his face. He grips my wrists tighter and lifts me, dangling from his grip. He leans into me, pressing my body against the rough bark of the tree. Whispering in my ear, “you don’t understand, it’s me you should be afraid of”.

[chanquokka]

Here's A Little Get-To-Know-You Tag Game!

Tagged by: de wonderfulest ppl @noonaracha @straykidsgallery and @itsstraykids thank you sm!!! (go appreciate their cool point stories!)

Name(s): juni! is what i decided. some friends on this hellsite also call me solar so wtv u prefer. atp i just have a bunch of nicknames bcs i also have a Weird Name, A Weirder (Family) Nickname in real life

Pronouns: he/she/they/it<3 when i say feel free. pls and thank u

Star Sign: libra, right when it starts (and just a day after seungmin's!)

#of Siblings And Fun Facts About Them(if u have any): one (1) younger gremlin brother, and the funnest fact abt them is that he has been a walking directory of telephone no's since he was 4 and now can be relied upon to calculate large numbers inside his head in point seconds. Still hates physics(and most things theory)> by which, he also stores insane and inane amount of stats info (abt all types of things, but mostly sports) inside his head ready to be flourished at a moments notice, which is mildly impressive when ur 6 and debating with college students the scores of a game that happened 15yrs before u were born but not now when ur 17 and ppl are more focused on your test scores rather than ones u know, so</3 also has his birthday on changbin's but he doesnt know abt that

#of Pets: there's a history there. with fishes that my ma deceived me with on my 12th birthday(when i asked for a pet, i imagined smth i could hold) and then liked too much herself that we had them for 5yrs. three times; birds, but my brother kind of freed them while singing a lullaby with only me as an unbelieving witness. a dog (belovedest of em all) my dad picked from street as a puppy and who, then, had to be given away after 3yrs bcs of Stupid Reasons im still mad abt. now i just have street cats showing up at my front door to safekeep their babies on my staircase's isolated nooks till they grow up and vanish and street dogs who believe i have endless supplies of treats and show me sad faces when i dont. i really want a pet</3 but for now im contending with pictures of kitties whose moms operate on strict 'see-dont-touch' policies and sweet sweet strays who like to befriend u too easy.

Fandoms: many, but rn im active mostly in skz and mxtx. id love to be in other stuff i read and watch but since Capitalism hates me dearly,,,

Favorite Color: darker shades of all and any colors(esp blue green and red)!!! can be relied upon immensely to look warm and pretty always

Favorite Song: picking favorites for anything is out of my capabilities. also am just listening to my favorite bollywood playlist a lot these days.

Favorite Author: have a working list of favorite poets that does not end at 1. have not read a book seriously in four years of exam/prep-locking. but even if i did, idt ill be able to pick any favorite bcs, yk. good things in many things. (tldr; its roald dahl) (and ruskin bond who i read when i was 5 and still read when im so tired bcs his stories inspire me to write always)

Hobbies: I dance(perform) sometimes? I write??(←derogatory, dubious) make stuff, mostly poems and stories and tinker with free things i can do, both online or craft. analysis of things with friends is a beloved activity. i liek yoga and stretching (rn in an ongoing war with 3° winter mornings to drag myself out of bed and go to class at 6) cooking when i have time but mostly, always, reading (or! watching) stories, poems and learning abt cool nonfiction things (does crying abt fiction count)

Favorite Holiday: none of the above its the trips and getaways u make for yourself. all my beloved memories are always mostly from when our family makes a trip to someplace my mom insists or there's a non-worrying emergency to go somewhere. just family getting together under some pretense, even tho it is stressful as fuck.

Do You Have Any Partner(s): persuading my best friend atm but sadly she's straight</3(no lmao)

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!: since im having it rn- coffee doesnt keep me up or sometimes even makes me nod off, a fact i discovered after my 14yr old brain had the brilliant idea to try out the cool, forbidden drink after dinner knowing i wasnt allowed to. this is not fun to my ma but growing up in a sort of restrictive household, im also just weirdly good at sneaking and doing stuff im not supposed to without getting caught. i also do not know how to talk in lesser words. this is an absolute curse, yes i have tried. beware</3

this^ is a mess but thank u i had fun!! lemme tag: @winterfloral @syannie @hyunhomoons @quokki @chogiwow @agibbangs @rainknow @lixence @hyunebear @straykidsgallery @jerirose @ambivartence @hongjoongpresent + anyone who wishes to! apologies if tagged already!

[snk-smartpass]

TEXT Vol. 02 Eren’s Notes

[Defeat Titans: Only Vertical Maneuvering Equipment. Blades -> Flexible]

“…Even I have to admit that these notes seem stupid.”

Not long after joining the Training Corps, Eren found himself facing an obstacle: How to take lecture notes.

Physical exertion only required effort. There had been a school in the town of his birth, so it wasn’t as though he’d never had the chance to sit in a class and study… He knew how to read and write.

The lectures required before becoming a soldier, though, were different from regular studies. There were many items to learn, and he needed to hammer them all into his head.

“Hey, Armin. How do you write notes in a way that lets you remember them efficiently?” Eren asked his clever friend, seeking his help as he always did.

••••••

“To cut straight to the chase… all I can say is ‘it depends on the person.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Armin took a sheet of papers he used during lectures and began flipping through them.

[Titans: 1-2 minute regeneration frequency *May vary depending on Titan

Combat with blades is effective

Use Vertical Maneuvering Equipment for agile movement and aim for weak point

Weak point: Nape below back of head (No regeneration)]

A neat summary of the important points given by the instructor.

“Wouldn’t I be able to become like you if I wrote my notes like this?”

“That’s not how it works. The goal of the lectures is to be able to use that knowledge in a practical setting. Writing notes is only a way to organize the information we get. You can’t let the act of writing itself be your goal.”

This did make sense to Eren, but the question remained. What way of writing was best for him? He decided to try exchanging information with other members of the Training Corps.

••••••

“Huh… We were all in the same classroom but everyone did something different.”

“Uh-huh. Marco and Krista meticulously organized all kinds of information, while Reiner and Bertolt only summarized the most important parts.”

Most of the other Training Corps members had shown him their notes, probably because they’d only recently started their lectures and their grades had been no different from the talented Armin’s.

“On the other hand, Ymir and Sasha, those girls who are always around Krista, had notes that looked awful. Some of their pages were blank, or full of doodles… I guess I don’t have anything to learn from them.”

“Those three are probably helping each other out before tests since they’re always together.”

Eren recalled the face of another childhood friend when he heard about the three helping one another.

“Oh, right… What about you, Mikasa?”

“I don’t do anything in particular.”

Mikasa hasn’t written anything either, but not in the same way as Ymir. She didn’t need to in order to score high marks. Seeing this, Eren felt like he had a vague understanding of what he needed to do.

••••••

[Strategy in the Forest of Giant Trees

Vertical maneuvering is effective

Save gas, choose routes —> Follow Mikasa or Jean to hammer movement into body

History used by Corps —> Hear details from Armin and remember

How to organize squads—> Watch Reiner/Marco’s squad closely]

If Eren didn’t understand something, Armin would always explain it to him. He’d become a better fighter as he experienced Mikasa’s interventions. It seemed to Eren the he learned best from those more capable than him. His goal wasn’t to join the privileged class, it was something else, so it seemed unlikely for there to be any conflicts of interest.

“Look like your grades have been improving lately. Figure out a good way to take notes or something?”

“Well… You could say that.”

The first step in Eren’s reckless efforts forward was figuring out the right direction for all his energy.

SOURCE: Attack on Titan: Short Stories 3

[fiction-is-life]

Study Buddies

Summary: A partner project leads to revelations.

Warnings: Descriptions of bullying and Topper’s mom being awful

"Miss (Y/L/N), please pay attention. You are missing the lesson."

(Y/N)'s head whipped back to look at her history teacher, embarrassment filling her. "Sorry, Mrs. Z, it won't happen again," she apologized.  

However, it probably would happen again as (Y/N) wasn't purposely not paying attention.  The Kook Prince Topper Thornton had made it his goal to try to get her in trouble as many times as he could this year - usually by taunting her into talking in class.  It didn’t help that they had literally every class together.

Even now she could hear him snickering with his friends at her expense.  (Y/N) could only suppose it was because she was a Pogue at the school on a scholarship, and he didn't think she should be there.  (Y/N) always outwardly brushed his comments and jabs off, but she couldn't help but think how much easier her life would be if he could simply ignore her because then everybody else would as well - usually he only started the onslaught, and others took up his cause. 

Oh, what she would do for the sweet bliss of anonymity!  Too bad she stuck out like a sore thumb in the hoity toity school.

(Y/N) realized her thoughts were wandering again, so she focused back on the teacher just as she said, “So, for your partner projects I will let you pick your own partners, but choose wisely!  Just because someone is your best friend doesn’t mean you want them as your partner.  This project is worth 30 percent of your final grade.”  

(Y/N) inwardly groaned.  Why couldn’t the teacher just pick?  (Y/N) was always left for last and stuck with a begrudging partner that had the misfortune of being absent the day partners were chosen.  It didn’t really matter who her partner was, though, beings as she always ended up doing all the work, anyways.  

She settled back into the uncomfortable chair to watch groups of three have to decide which one of them was kicked out, feeling better about her situation as she watched friendships become tested.  

(Y/N) was jarred roughly out of her thoughts for the third time in as many minutes when she felt a tap on her shoulder from somebody behind her.  That could only be one of two people - Topper or Kelce, but in her heart she knew which one it was before turning around.  

Bracing herself, she turned around to see what new torment awaited her from that corner.  Will it be a paper football flicked at her forehead?  Perhaps a spitball?  No, Topper never stooped that low as to physically assault her - he left that to Kelce.  

She was prepared for just about anything, except what was actually waiting for her - Topper leaning forward, almost uncomfortably close.  “(Y/N), we’re partners."

She must have heard wrong. "What?" 

"I said we are partners."

So she hadn't heard wrong, but she still wanted answers.  "Why?"  She seemed to only be capable of one word replies.

Topper rolled his eyes. "Because, you are the best in this class and I need to get a good grade."

Her wits returned finally at this.  "Kelce and you do fine in this class. Why do you need me?  Also, who said I would want to be your partner?"

Kelce perked up at this comment, turning away from the boy he was pairing up with since Topper wasn’t budging on his decision.  He had a devilish smirk on his face as he turned towards his best friend, "Yeah, why do you need to partner with her, Top?"

Topper clenched his jaw, making his hands into fists as he whispered, "Because you know how my mom is, Kelce."

This comment, obviously not meant for (Y/N)'s ears, intrigued her nonetheless, prompting her to accept his "offer".  "Fine, I'll be your partner, but you have to actually do your part."

He smirked, "Deal."

~

“So, I think a really great topic to do our project on would be the political machines of the 1890’s because they did a lot of good for workers, but they were also violent and Topper are you listening?”  (Y/N) sat in the school’s cushy library, trying to get started on she and Topper’s project, but she couldn’t get him to cooperate.  He just kept flipping through his phone.

He looked up after a moment, not a care in the world.  “Can you actually help me with our calc homework first?  I am totally lost now that we’ve switched from derivatives to integration,” Topper changed the subject, proving he could switch to a different subject quite easily, contrary to his words.

(Y/N) drew in a deep breath, trying to calm herself.  “Topper, you said we were gonna work on our project, and this is the only time I can meet.”

Topper gave her his best puppy-dog eyes, pleading, “Please, (Y/N), I can’t focus on our project if I don’t understand calc.  We have a quiz on Friday, and our project isn’t due for another two weeks.”  He added a pout to his pathetic bit, noticing that (Y/N) was breaking, “Please.”

(Y/N) huffed, “Fine.  But once we study for the quiz, we have to work on the project.  I have to work everyday this week except Friday.”  She started to open up her calculus notes.

Topper’s smirk was back - it seemed like it was almost permanently glued to his face at this point.  “Well, I guess we can meet up on Friday, too.  I can pick you up and bring you to mine.  It’d be more comfortable than here.”

(Y/N) had somewhat checked out, only half-listening as she found the lesson they had been learning in calculus.  “Sure, whatever, as long as it gets done.”

“Cool, let’s get to studying then.”  Topper was quite pleased with himself.

“Alright, so what is the purpose of us learning about integration?” she asked, going back to the beginning to see what they needed to focus on.

“Isn’t it to figure out the slope of a point?”

(Y/N)’s face fell.  “No, that’s what derivatives do.  Integration is to figure out the area under a curve.”  I guess they had to review everything.  Great.

~

“Okay, so I think you should be good for the quiz on Friday.  Just work some more problems from the textbook,” (Y/N) finished explaining how integration worked, checking the time on her phone and groaning when she saw it was almost six o’clock.  Reteaching an entire semester’s worth of calculus apparently took longer than one expected.  “Crap, my mom went to work already, so she can’t pick me up,” she mumbled.

Topper kept his gaze on where he was picking up his notes, “Well, I could take you home, I guess,” he offered, shrugging, nothing but nonchalance.

(Y/N) considered her options - the late bus had already left , but she didn’t want to put him out, “No, that’s alright, thank you, though.”

Topper rolled his eyes, standing up and grabbing both of their bookbags, “What’s your other option?  Walking?” he said over his shoulder, walking out of the library, leaving her to chase after him.  

“Topper, give me my bag back.  You really don’t need to take me home,” she called after him, slightly breathless.  How is he walking this fast? she thought.

“Not a chance,” he called back, exiting the school and walking to his Jeep which was the only vehicle left in the parking lot.  

She blew air out of her nostrils when she finally caught up with him.  “Fine, if you insist, I’ll let you drive me home,” she relented, incredibly confused as to why he was so insistent.  

“Good.”  He opened the passenger door, offering her a hand to help her into the truck which she ignored, clambering in awkwardly by herself.

Topper easily got in on his side, “Do you have any music preferences, (Y/N)?”

(Y/N) scrunched her nose and forehead, “It’s a fifteen minute drive, Topper, you can just put on the radio, I don’t care.”

Topper tapped the steering wheel like it was a drum set, “How about classic rock?”

“That’s fine, I love rock,” (Y/N) said, thinking about everything she still had to do that night. 

Topper smiled, nodding, “Cool.  Cool, cool, cool.”  He pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road, turning on a rock station on Spotify before quickly looking at her, “So… what’s your favorite subject?”

Why was he suddenly so interested in her?  They had had every class together since freshman year, and now he wanted to get to know her?  She had to answer, though, beings as she was stuck in a car with him, “Umm, I don’t know, I like them all, but I guess chemistry.  I’ve always liked science.”

He hummed, “That makes sense.  Mine is English.  I think it’s fun to analyze novels in depth.”

“Really?  I always thought you hated school, or at least were apathetic to it,” she said, frowning in thought.

“No, I like learning, it’s just - nevermind.  Where do you want me to drop you off?” he asked, changing the subject once again.

“Umm, my house is fine,” she replied, deciding not to comment on what was obviously a touchy subject.

“Sounds good,” he said, which were the last words spoken on what was undoubtedly the most awkward car ride she had ever been on.  

He only spoke again when he was pulling into her short driveway, “So, I’ll drive you to my house on Friday after school, and we can work on the project.”

(Y/N) nodded, picking up her bag and opening her door before he got the chance, “Yep, sounds good, see you tomorrow, Topper,” she said as she got out of the truck, watching as he pulled away like the devil was on his heels.  She shook her head, thinking, Boys are weird. 

~

Topper continued to act weird the rest of the week, and by Friday she was almost missing the routine of him being a jerk to her in class - at least it was predictable, unlike the almost constant questions he bombarded her with now.  What’s your favorite food?  Pepsi or coke?  Favorite color?  Are you a cat or dog person?  Do you like reading?  TV shows or movies?  It was endless, and the worst part was that (Y/N) couldn’t figure out why he was doing it.  

Was it an elaborate set up for a prank?  Get her to think he liked her enough to befriend her then use the information against her to ruin her life?  At this point, Topper being an undercover CIA agent that was tasked with finding, abstracting information, then eliminating her seemed to be a perfectly probable explanation for his behavior.

(Y/N) felt the eraser end of a pencil tap her back for the fifth time today - and it wasn’t even lunch.  She turned around, barely suppressing the annoyed look on her face, “What, Topper?”

He seemed not to notice her weary expression, “Favorite movie?”

(Y/N) sighed, “I don’t know, Topper.  I guess While You Were Sleeping; I love Bill Pullman and Sandra Bullock.”

“Cool,” is all he said, immediately going back to taking notes from the PowerPoint.  (Y/N) shook her head in confusion before attempting to do the same.  

She couldn’t wait for them to finish the history project so life could go back to normal.  

~

The remaining periods of the day seemed to stretch interminably long, and by the last bell, she just wanted to sit at home and relax; it didn’t help that she had had to stay late at her job the night before since her coworkers didn’t help with any of the clean up duties that the wait staff was supposed to do.  

However, she was brought back into reality when Topper caught up to her in the busy hallway, “Hey, I just have to get my books from my locker, then we can head out, alright?  Come with me to get them?  You can put whatever you don’t want to take home in my locker, I don’t mind,” Topper explained his plan, creating even more confusion within (Y/N)’s mind.  

Not only did he want to be seen leaving school with a Pogue, but he was willing to have her cheap notebooks next to his?

She was so thrown off by this revelation that she found herself following him to his locker.  He quickly gathered what he needed, hefting his bag back on his shoulder.  “Do you need anything before we leave?” he asked, and when she shook her head, he closed his locker, heading towards the double doors that led to freedom.  

Unlike the last time they had exited the school together, he actually slowed down his stride to match hers, garnering several looks - ranging from disgusted to jealous - from the Kooks surrounding them.  (Y/N) just kept her head down to ignore them like always until she and Topper reached his Jeep.

He opened her door for her, and she climbed in.  If Topper is anything, he is gentleman-like, especially this past week, she thought absently, resting her head against the back of the seat, trying to get rid of the growing headache behind her eyes.  It had been a long week, and she honestly just wanted to go to sleep, but she didn’t want their project deadline looming over them next week as well.

With that in mind, she attempted to talk about their project on the ride to his house, “So, do we want to do our project on political machines or -”

“I was kinda thinking we could start our project after we get to my house.  I can’t think about school work until after I chill for a while and eat something,” he explained, giving her that pitiful look that always got her to relent to whatever he wanted.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense,” (Y/N) agreed, not at all getting his point.  She usually did her homework and such right after school because it was fresh in her mind, but she supposed everybody had a different method, and Topper was no dummy, testifying to his method working for him.  

She tapped her fingers on her thighs, reminiscent of how Topper had tapped them on the steering wheel during their first car ride, letting the awkward silence grow the entire way to Figure Eight, not knowing how to relieve it.  

At long last, they finally pulled into Topper’s paved, circular driveway, his mansion of a house looking even bigger up close.  (Y/N) couldn’t help but stare a little bit at the perfectly manicured lawn and spotless windows.  

Topper parked the Jeep in his side of the garage, alongside what (Y/N) assumed was his mother’s Porsche.  

“Alright, we’re here,” Topper sighed, turning the car off and throwing his head against the seat for a moment before unbuckling his seat belt and grabbing both of their bags again.  (Y/N) followed him inside, careful not to scratch his mother’s car.  

As they entered the house, (Y/N) was struck by how clean it was, but not in a good way, more like “I woke up from a coma in a sterile hospital, but I’m the last person on Earth and now I’m wandering through the halls” kind of way.  In short, it didn’t look like anybody lived there.  The only evidence of life was a faint aroma coming from what (Y/N) assumed was the kitchen.

Topper didn’t seem affected by it.  He turned to her while they were still in the side entrance, sheepishly pointing to cubbies with shoes neatly placed in them, “Uh, my mom makes us take off our shoes, if you don’t mind.  She hates dirt.”

(Y/N) was honestly kind of confused by his ashamed attitude - her mom had a similar rule, it just wasn’t enforced as stringently.  She sat down to untie her shoes, Topper bending over to do the same. “No problem,” she said, flippantly.  She pulled them off her feet, hoping her feet didn’t smell too bad and quickly hiding the hole in her sock before placing them into an empty cubby and jumping up.  Almost hitting him in the nose in the process.

He laughed, turning around to lead her into the massive living room with the comfiest leather couches she had ever seen.  

The room was very open with French doors leading to the pool behind them and a casual dining area to the right of the couches.  A huge TV lined a good portion of the wall, the other space being taken up by what (Y/N) assumed were family photos but on closer inspection turned out to be pictures of Dr. Thornton - Topper’s mom - and work colleagues.  Topper was nowhere to be seen in any of them.

“You can sit anywhere; I’ll be back with some snacks, then we can get to work.”

Topper’s voice snapped (Y/N) out of her thoughts about his home life, having started to piece together the clues that were around her with what he had said to Kelce when they were picking partners.  She just nodded, not trusting herself to not say some choice words about his mother in her own house. 

She sat down where Topper had put their bags down and started pulling her notes out, along with her beat-up, second hand laptop.  As she finished organizing all of her supplies on the glass coffee table, Topper walked back in, pita chips and red pepper hummus in hand - her favorite.

(Y/N) smiled as he set the bowls down beside her notes, the growling of her stomach distracting her from how close he sat beside her.  

“Okay,” she clapped her hands, swallowing her bite of food.  “So, does one of us want to work on the PowerPoint while the other starts the paper?  Then, we can work on the diorama together?  I don’t care which one I do, but I’ve always really liked your PowerPoints for other classes, so maybe you would want to do that, but it doesn’t matter cause you’re a strong writer too.”  

Shoot, am I rambling again?

“Yeah, you are but it’s cute,” Topper stated, making her realize she had said that last part aloud, opening his laptop.  “I can do the PowerPoint.  Didn’t you win that essay contest?  You are a great writer.”

(Y/N) dipped her head, smiling at his genuine compliment.  “Thank you, Topper.”  

She steeled herself, getting back to the topic at hand - political machines.  “Let’s get to work.”

~

Two and half hours and two bowls of hummus later, the project was finished, ready for their presentation the next week.  They had even found an old shoe box and filled it with figurines being pressured into voting by the machine boss.

(Y/N) flopped back on the couch, checking her phone and seeing it was only a little past  five o’clock - she could get a jump on the rest of her homework, still.  She sat up, sighing, finding herself unaccountably reluctant to leave, “I should get going…”

“Wait!”  Topper grabbed her wrist lightly.  As she turned to see what he wanted, figuring she had forgotten to pack some of her stuff, she noticed that Topper’s face had become tinted with a pink blush, just dark enough to be noticed. 

She quirked an eyebrow, looking down at his hand on her wrist then back up to his flushed face.  He cleared his throat, “Umm, I thought maybe we could watch that movie you said you liked?  Dinner should be ready soon, and my mom is at the hospital tonight, so she won’t bother us.”

His eyes followed his hand as it wandered down to hold hers, “I would just really like it if you stayed for a bit.  I like hanging out with you.”

(Y/N) squeezed his hand, liking how it enveloped hers, “Okay.”  She smiled, “I can hang out for a bit.”

He tugged her back down beside him, turning the TV onto Disney+ to start watching Sandra Bullock fall in love with her unrequited crush’s brother.  

(Y/N) was instantly engrossed in the film as she always was, unconsciously leaning into the body heat Topper was radiating.  Her A/C was never as effective as in the Thornton household - if it even turned on - so she was a bit chilly, but it wasn’t just that.

Topper had shown a different side of himself this week.  She was starting to see that his cockiness was driven more by insecurity.  And it was now obvious that his need to control everything was because he had no control over his personal life, his mother controlling every detail of his day and still expecting him to do more.  She honestly just wanted to give him a hug, at this point. 

~

By the end of the movie, (Y/N)’s eyelids were drooping and her head had dropped to Topper’s shoulder.  She must have drifted off because the next thing she knew, the credits were rolling, Topper gently shaking her awake, “(Y/N/N), you need to get up; the movie is over.”  

She snuggled into his chest further, not ready to wake up from her nap just yet - she really hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.  She groaned, shutting her eyes again, “Noooo…”

She could feel his laughter deep in his chest, “Okay, what movie do you want to watch next?”

She popped up for a moment, grinning, “Oklahoma!?”

He chuckled once more at her adorableness, bringing her back into his arms as the overture of one of her favorite musicals started to play, “Okay.”  

As Curly rode in during the first scene, Topper leaned away from her suddenly, making her look at him with a slight pout, confused.  He lightly ran his fingertips over her arm, making her shiver.  He worked his mouth for a moment, hesitating over his words.  “Um, hey, so, this week, I -”

“You didn’t ask me to be your partner for the project because you needed a good grade, did you?” she asked, eyes glowing.

He shook his head sheepishly, “No, I wanted an excuse to get to know you.  I was afraid you would say no if I asked you out.  Also, I didn’t need that much help with calc, just the new stuff.”

She smiled teasingly, “Are you afraid now?”

He grinned, brushing her hair back from her face, “(Y/N), would you like to go on a date with me?  A real date…?”

She smirked, turning back to the TV to see how Laurie pretended to ignore Curly’s flirting, making (Y/N) feel confident in something other than academics for once. “Let’s see how our presentation goes first, then I’ll decide." She added, diplomatically, “But I think your chances might be good.”  She turned to him, a glint in her eye, “You are the second best student in the class.”

Topper’s smile couldn’t have grown wider as (Y/N) re-snuggled into his arms, eyes fixed again on the movie.

~

My Masterlist

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

Stella and Stolas with the male Imp Overlord

Stella and Stolas with male Imp Overlord

When you, an Imp achieved your overlord status, lets just say that was something of an issue in the world of nobility.

Imps have always been the Hells servant class, every great dynasty and empire have been built off their backs. They were always meant to be ruled over, Not rule themselves.

But with your ascension to Overlord-ship, the pair found they had a very difficult desicion to make.

They could publicly oppose you. They were sure many of there fellow nobles would follow their lead, doing the same and under their banner, they could form a formidable opposition.

The only problem with that, is while they and there allies may oppose you, their enemies would be more then happy to support you. Whether that be directly or in the shadows.

And give the fact you, an Imp, had already achieved Overlord status, the last thing they needed was you against them, with the backing of disgruntled nobility.

So they did only other viable option. They got closer to you.

They formed an alliance with you in hopes of discovering what made you so unique. As well as ensuring you weren't an enemy.

You would initially be very suspicious of the pair.

Royalty had kept Imps down there entire existance, exploiting and enslaving them sing lucifers rebellion.

So you'd naturally have little, to no trust in the pairs intentions.

But as much as you distrusted the two, doing business with them was jus too beneficial to pass up, something the two went to lengths to ensure.

As the couple expected, in only a short period of time, you became even more powerful, amassing further wealth and territory.

And with this development, the two were quite happy there gamble had paid off. With their family becoming your largest business partner and as such benefited greatly from your prosperity.

As your business with the two increased, you'd slowly find yourself trusting the pair more, the two eagerly wanting to build on that.

And well, stolas being stolas, we all know he just couldn't help himself.

Being around such a domineering male Imp, one that spoke his mind and took shit from nobody. The way you didn't care in the slightest about his title and would tell him as much to his face.

Well, I think it's safe to say, he'd become Very interested in you, very quickly.

You wouldn't really mind Stolas.

You could tell he really didn't care much for politics, or the divide between hellbornes and royalty. He was just in it for a good time as well as securing his families continued survival. You could respect that.

Really the problem would be Stella.

It's fairly obvious she isn't too fond of Imps, likely having been raised to despise anyone she doesn't deem worthy.

And while your power and status would put you far above most every other Imp in her eyes, it would take a fair amount of time before she'd develop any kind of real respect for you.

But, given the chance to see just how capable and scrupulous you could be. A part of her would come to respect your cold-blooded you could be.

The truth was, Stolas had lost his blood lust when they were married. But you, you were a beast. Untamed and seemingly unstoppable.

While she initially wasn't fond of the idea of forming an alliance with you, doing it more so out of practicality over any genuine want to associate with you. She couldn't have realised just how good an idea it would turn out to be.

You were exactly what they needed, someone who could do the more 'dirty jobs' royalty often required, not only doing the job in a timely manner, but you always did it exactly to there expectations, never letting them down in the slightest.

The two held a party not long after your alliance began to prosper.

It was a fairly standard gathering of the Goeatia families allies and vassels families, the party working to both appease there egos and allow them to raise any concerns they may have to the couple.

Of course they had invited you, as despite the more recent nature of your power, you had quickly become an important business partner and asset to the Goetia family and they wanted to continue fostering that.

You had arrived fashionably late, clearly unhappy to be around so many nobles, a faint scowl across your features.

Despite your clear disgust, you still paid your respects to the two, thinking them for the invitation.

Leaving the pair you did what one does at such a gathering, you drank, partook in small talk and generally hung about.

But even with your invitation, it wasn't long until some asshat, decided to test you.

He attempted to publicly humiliate you. Pretending you were a servant and telling you, you were at the wrong area, or should be in the back serving drinks.

The asshole ran his mouth. You could handle that, you'd delt with plenty of loud idiots in your time, it was nothing new. But when he put his hands on you, attempting to push you about.

Well. You couldn't allow that.

It was in this moment that both Stella and Stolas saw why they had made the right choice in befriending you.

With a single brutally efficient strike, you dropped the noble like a sack of rocks.

Watching his body fall before calmly walking away, going about the party as though you hadn't just incapacitated one of the most powerful demons in hell.

Needless to say, no one at the party messed with you after that.

When it came to their relationship, she had little affection for Stolas.

She was still very committed to her marriage and family, of course but the once strapping, ambitious and blood thirsty Prince she had once thought she could love, had given way to an unambitious, soft hearted, stay at home dad.

And she just wasn't attracted to that.

But you... you were everything she saught in a mate.

Ambitious. Relentless. Dangerous and insatiable. You had no limits and seemed near unstoppable.

So, against her better judgement, she found herself falling for you. Something that was quite frustrating for the noble woman.

Stolas, would have absolutely no qualms about falling for you. He of course still cared for his family, but you were something else, something he desperately wanted.

The only problem unfortunately, was his family.

But with his wife being so close to you as well, both demons would be at something of an impass.

They couldn't pursue you in fear of there better halves finding out.

You, of course, where not blind to all this.

You could tell the two were slowly gravitating towards you, Stolas being particularly unsubtle about his pull.

And you found it was surprisingly easy to play the two off each other, Stolas was practically drooling over you and while she may try to hide it, you could tell Stella was very much attracted to you.

Stolas would be the easier of the pair to control.

A kind word here, a suductive touch there, a frustrated complaint about something over there and you could get him to do just about anything you wanted.

Stella would be more difficult, as It would take a considerable amount of time to have her overcome her ingrained discrimination towards Imps.

You likely needing to do so gradually, showing her how you were just as good as any snob with a royal title.

You'd need to be careful at first, ensuring that she truly did fancy you. But once you knew for sure, it wouldn't be difficult to seduce her.

All you'd need to do was appeal to her ego and show her your more dominant side.

Unlike stolas, it wouldn't be a physical dominance, it would a dominance of the mind. The owl princess finding your ability to dominate a room without lifting a finger, quite... intoxicating.

So, finding yourself in a love triangle of your own creation, you had a very specific plan.

When the pair of them first approached you, you knew, deep down, it was done out of fear.

Imps were nothing in Hell, and for you, an Imp to become an Overlord, that scared the BlueBloods.

And it should.

But if you were going to enter a relationship with these royals, they were going to be the ones who proposition you.

You'd be damned if you were gonna be the one begging for a relationship. They wanted it, and you knew they wanted it, they'd have to beg for it.

And beg they would.

The two came to an agreement. They both wanted you, but also didn't want to split up their family, so they would approach you together.

It was an awkward affair, in part due to you playing dumb to there intentions.

Stolas, being something of a bird brain, would draw it out, trying put their decision into words, but failing miserably.

Stella would just step in, opening the proposition of a relationship.

You would playfully think it over, already knowing the answer but you enjoyed watching the pair squirm.

You'd accept, the pair releasing a deep sigh before you pulled each of them into a passionate kiss.

However, much to Stolas' annoyance, you wouldnt sleep with them that night, choosing instead to just share there bed.

With a relationship like this, you'd have to spend the first few weeks ensuring there was a solid foundation to it.

Youd mostly do this through spending time with them, getting to know them on both an emotional and personal level.

Youd definitely sleep with Stolas first, taking the prince in his office.

Pushing him onto his desk and taking him rough and passionately, just how you knew he wanted it.

Youd do something more romantic for Stella. Likely having a simple, yet majestic diner before taking her to your now shared bedroom for a night of passionate fornication.

Despite there royal status, you would be the one wearing the pants in the relationship. As you could easily dominate each of them with words alone, Stolas even easier then Stella.

Of course you understood the importance of there image and would take a more back seat role in the relationship when needed.

Youd have a surprisingly intimate relationship with the pair.

Stolas was always open to anything you suggested, often initiating them himself. And while not nearly as common as stolas, Stella would often initiate intimacy with you.

Despite the two being married, Sex between all three of you would not be very common.

As both Stolas and Stella had quite different wants and needs in the bedroom that didn't quite mesh well.

Stolas wanted to be utterly dominated in the bedroom, completely at your mercy. While Stella wanted someone who could keep her pace, if not take control in the heat of passion.

Romance would be a priority for you, often doing your best to sweep them off there feet.

Luxurious dinners, dates on the town, the theatre. Nothing was ever too much.

Octavia would be a rather large bump in the relationship, as on one hand, you were essentially a whole new person intruding on her family, on the other hand, you were a wanted third partner in Stella and Stolas' marriage, you weren't tearing the family apart by being with them.

It would take a long time, and an even longer term strategy, but she would eventually warm up to you.

Never really coming to see you as a parent, but still part of the family.

While life wouldn't be without its problems,

The balance of power being a major source of arguments, as while Stolas was easy to tame, falling completely under your sway, Stella was far more head strong.

As such she'd often but heads with her rather submissive husband, saying he didn't do enough to keep up there family status.

She would often compare him to yourself, something you would always dismiss, having to step in and calm her down.

While you could dominate her husband easily, you'd need to control her in a more subtle ways. Appealing to her ego or planting ideas in her subconscious. Having mentioned when you forced her submission, likely in bed.

So, While it would certainly had its ups and downs, your life with your royal love Birds would be an incredibly love filled one.

Having the royal pair wrapped around your lottle finger, your power and status would grow exponentially. All the while the two would willingly give themselves to you, smothering you in there love and affection.

Thanking you as they made you stronger.

[yasminbenoit]

“A Romantic Partner Won’t Complete Me, Because I Was Born Complete”: How Identifying As Asexual & Aromantic Brought Me True Freedom & Happiness | Yasmin Benoit for British Vogue

There is a phase in our lives where everyone seems asexual and almost everyone seems aromantic. It wasn't until puberty kicked in that platonic relationships seemed to take a backseat. My peers stopped wanting to play together and started wanting to 'date' each other. That was when I started to realise that there was something different about me. I didn’t seem to be experiencing the same urges as those I was around. I chose to go to an all girls school in the hopes that – in the absence of boys – everyone would stop caring about sex and dating. It actually had the opposite effect. There was a sense of deprivation in the air and the heightened desire to project their sexuality onto anything and everything.  

Therefore, my lack of interest became even more obvious, and it became a not-so-fun game to work out the source of what should be troubling me, but hadn’t been until that point. Having a sexual orientation isn’t just natural, it’s essential. It’s part of being a fully-functional human being. And to be romantically love and be loved by another is the ultimate goal. It’s part of being normal, which made me both abnormal and puzzling. When your asexual, people think there’s something wrong with your body. When you’re aromantic, they think there’s something wrong with your soul. Even for a teenage girl who internalised all of Disney Channel’s “be yourself” messages, it’s never nice to have people publicly debate your supposed physical and psychological flaws.  

My nickname in school was “hollow and emotionless.” I was a joker with a decent amount of friends, but I was lacking something crucial, the kind of love that really mattered and the kind of lust that made life exciting...so I was practically Lord Voldemort with braids. I sat through the regular DIY sexuality tests, having my peers show me graphic sexual imagery, have very sexual conversations in my presence, and ask me inappropriately intimate questions to gauge how far gone I truly was. These tests lead to the development of theories, most centred around me having some kind of mental problem. After a while, you start to wonder if everyone knows something you don’t.

When they said that I must have been molested as a child and “broken” by the trauma, I wondered if I had somehow forgotten about sexual abuse that actually hadn’t happened. I looked at some of my own relatives with suspicion, the same people who would later ask me if I didn’t experience sexual attraction because I was a pedophile. It was suggested that I was “suffering” from my “issues” because I was socially anxious and insecure. The suggestion that my ‘issue’ was pathological stayed with me for a long time, but not as much as the widely accepted theory that I was mentally slow. Unfortunately, that one stuck. I was referred to as “stupid” and I started to believe that was the case. It would impact my experience in education for the next eight years, long after I realised that there was a word for what I was.

Asexual.

I first heard the word during one of the near-daily sexuality tests that I was subjected to. I was asked if I was gay, to which I said that I wasn’t interested in anybody like that – men or women. At fifteen, I was asked, “Maybe you’re asexual or something?” but it wasn’t quite a lightbulb moment. How could it be when I had never heard the word outside of biology class? After an evening of Google searching, I realised that there were many people with my exact same experience, complete strangers whose stories sounded so strangely similar to mine. I also stumbled across the word ‘aromantic,’ but at the time, I didn’t understand the need for it. "Wouldn't all asexual people be aromantic? A romantic relationship without sex is just friendship with rules,” I thought.

Either way, my discoveries showed me that I wasn’t alone, but that only half helpful. I now had an identity that no one had heard of or understood. Most didn’t believe that being asexual or aromantic was a real thing, and I doubted it to. I had been taught to after years of armchair pathologisation. If asexuality was real, why did no one tell you that being sexually attracted to nobody was an option? What if it was just an internet identity made up to comfort people with all of the issues that had been attributed to me? I didn’t have to go far down the rabbit hole to realise that asexuality, like many non-heteronormative identities, had been medicalised. What I had experienced as just the tip of the iceberg. As someone who hadn’t been prescribed drugs I didn’t need or subjected to unnecessary hormone tests, I was one of the lucky ones.

My activism would be my gateway to the community. Despite being the ugly friend at school, I ended up becoming a model while in university. I decided to use the platform I had gained through my career to raise awareness for asexuality and aromanticism. It gave me the opportunity to encounter a range of asexual and aromantic offline, it was then that I learned the significance of having an aromantic identity. There are many asexual people who still feel romantic attraction, as well as aromantic people who still feel sexual attraction. They have their own range of experiences, their own culture, their own flag, and like the asexual community, I was relieved to see that they are just normal people. These intersecting communities are not stereotypes. They weren’t just thirteen year old, pink haired kids making up identities on Tumblr to feel special. They were parents, lawyers, academics, husbands, girlfriends, artists, black, white, young, old, with differing feelings towards the many complex elements of sexuality and intimacy. Most importantly, they were happy.

I am proud to be part of both, and I know that while being asexual and aromantic, I am a complete person and I can live a perfectly fulfilling life. Since meeting members of my communities, I’ve become more open about my identities in real life, and a reaction I’m often met with is sympathy. “You must feel like you’re missing out,” “I can’t imagine being like that,” “It must be hard for your family,” “Do you worry no one will want you?” “How do you handle being so lonely?” “You’re so brave and strong,” “What will you do with your life now?” Even in 2021, a woman who isn’t romantically loved or sexually desired by their “special someone” is perceived as being afflicted with some kind of life-limiting condition.  

Asexuality doesn't make undesirable or unable to desire others. It is a unique experience of sexuality, not a deprivation from it. Even if it was, there is so much more to life than what turns us on and what we do about it. Romantic love is just one form of love, neither superior nor inferior to any other. Being aromantic doesn't mean that you can't love or be loved, it does not mean you are void of other emotions or capabilities. I am not lonely with my friends, family, co-workers and supporters. I feel confident not when someone wants to date me but when I meet my goals and form worthwhile connections with others. My success isn't determined by whether someone will want to marry me someday. What we want out of life is our decision alone, our sources of happiness should not be defined by our ever-changing, culturally relative social standards. The love of a romantic partner won't complete me because I was born complete. Feeling sexual attraction to others won't liberate me because my liberation is not dependent on other people.

Valentine's Day is on the horizon. It's an occasion that amps up the focus on (and the pressure to achieve) a very specific type of love and sexual expression, one that is actually alienating for people inside and outside of the asexual community. During a pandemic where many relationships have been strained, tested, formed or distanced, it's important to keep the diversity of romantic and sexual feelings in mind. Many expect me to feel annoyed or lonely during this time of year, but I actually feel empowered and excited by the way sex, romance and love are discussed more deeply around this time. These conversations are constantly expanding to become more inclusive for everyone, and that's what we need to see all year round.

https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/asexuality-and-aromanticism

[thatgoblin]

Chris Redfield and Leon Kennedy x Rookie Reader Headcannons

Leon

At first you were in awe of your lead. THE Leon S. Kennedy was showing you the ropes and helping train you for the job you'd dreamed of. Hero worship was common in this line of work, but you did your best to keep it to a minimum. You didn't want to embarrass yourself after all.

In place of that hero worship came this insatiable need to make Leon proud. Whether it was memorizing and nailing every written exam or physical test, you wanted to earn his praise.

You worked hard, harder than almost everyone it seemed. Leon never saw you slacking and saw how serious you were about the job. Protecting people was what you had always wanted to do with your life.

So when the grades came back that you weren't doing so hot, you were mortified. How could you let this happen? You didn't slack off, you studied everything you could get your hands on, hell you watched instructional videos on YouTube before bed! But you still weren't making a passing grade.

You thought you would be okay with the physical part, but no matter how hard you trained, no matter the extra hours you put in, you just couldn't seem to get what everyone else did. The moves were simple, why couldn't you just grasp them?

The only thing you thought you had going for you was the firing range, but even that was less than acceptable. Every time you tried to do something the pressure got to you and you messed up. You were so busy trying to make sure you didn't fail Leon that you were failing yourself.

It was when you were called into your commanding officer's office to speak about your grades that you were sure you were done. You were given two weeks that were used for break to study and practice and retest. But you'd already had nearly four months and the best you could do was subpar.

You were in your room, packing your bags because you knew you were going to be kicked out of the program when Leon showed up.

"Hey, Kid, you leaving for break?" He asked as he leaned against the door frame of your dorm.

"Uh. . . No," you said, hanging your head in shame. "I'm flunking out. Figured that it would just be easier to pack my bag now than wait later till I was officially asked to leave."

"What? How are you flunking?" Leon asked, straightening up. "I watch you every day and you're one of the hardest working cadets I've seen."

"Hard work doesn't mean much when you can't apply it correctly," you said. "I can't get the fighting technique right, the written exams are all a bust, and I can't even shoot a gun right. I don't deserve to be here."

"Have you asked for help or for someone to tutor you? That's what I'm here for, you know," he said, moving into the room to sit on the bed next to you.

You stared at the floor as you took a deep breath, feeling all the insecurities come rushing through to the surface.

"I didn't want to disappoint you," you said. "I mean, I wanted to do it all myself without help. I wanted to make you proud that you were my lead. If I was always asking for help, what good does that do? It shows that I can't do something on my own and need my hand held like some baby."

Leon sighed as he folded his hands together between his knees.

"I get it. I do. Wanting to make your leader proud and show how good you are, but we're a team here. No one is by themselves. You're only so good as your team is and if you're not doing well then that's a reflection on us," he said.

"Oh god, are you guys getting in trouble because of me?" You asked, looking at him horrified that you were possibly making things hard for your team.

"No, no, I mean. . . We're a team for a reason. You have to lean on us and trust us so when we need to, we can lean on you and trust you. If you need help studying or practicing outside of classes, I'll help you. That's why I'm here. It can be hard to ask for help in any situation cause it means you're admitting to a weakness, but that's okay. That's how we get stronger as individuals and as a team," Leon said.

You nod with a sigh. "I have two weeks to get better before I officially am asked to leave. I don't know if I can do it on my own," you said. "Can you help me?"

"Of course. I've got your back, Kid," Leon said, giving you a soft smile.

Chris

The B.S.A.A. was not for rookies, but they needed recruits so here you were. They provided training on weapons, protocol, how to work the gear, basically everything. Because they wanted everyone to be a well oiled machine out in the field, they made sure if you couldn't cut it that you didn't make it out of training. It was life and death and while they needed the hands, they weren't sending people out to die.

The trainers rotated to take classes of trainees. You were lucky enough to get the legendary Chris Redfield for your class leader. He would be teaching everything and making sure that everyone was ready. You had heard of him before, knowing that he was a weathered agent and could almost do anything was daunting.

Which was probably why you tried to avoid him at all costs in one on one situations. He wasn't mean or an ass, but he was intimidating. His stature and history were more than enough to show he knew exactly what he was talking about. You didn't want to feel stupid or embarrass yourself, so you kept him at a distance as you worked almost on your own.

Sure there were classes and work that you were trained in, but just the fear of being the weak link in front of others was hindering you. All of your tests and physical training was mediocre at best. Sure there were people that weren't going to cut it obviously, but you were much closer to their end of the spectrum than the other end that was running circles around you.

It wasn't that you couldn't do it. You could, but sometimes you froze up because your hands did something your mind didn't want to do or nerves made you stutter and stumble over your words. Everyone in the class at least had a background in the military or the police force or FBI or CIA or some other group that was similar to this.

You on the other hand did not. You came from a more technical background rather than a physical one. While you were miles ahead on the written tests, the physical ones were going to kill your career.

So when the notice went out that you were on the chopping block to be let go unless you could prove you were capable of being in the field, you weren't surprised.

Half of you wanted to keep trying, but the other half was telling you to pack up and go. You weren't unique or special, so why bother to continue to try?

It was when you were were working with one of the large guns by the shooting range, that Chris approached you. Before then, you two hadn't said a word to each other outside of the classes or even directly to each other.

So when his large frame took a seat across from you, folding his hands on the table after setting a file next to him, watching you with the gun, you weren't sure what to think.

"Hi," you said, freezing as you looked from the gun to him.

"Y/N, right?" He asked. You nodded as you set the pieces of gun on the table. "Why are you here?"

Oh Jesus, no. Why now? Why here?

"Uh," you said, blinking rapidly as your brain tried to come up with an answer. "Because I wanna help people."

"That's usually the answer I get," he said, sitting back to let his hands drop into his lap. "That or 'to kill bio weapons.' That's also a popular one."

"Yeah?" You said, unsure of what he was getting at.

"But I don't think it's why you're here," Chris said. "Because I think you don't know why you're here." Opening the file, you could see it was all information about you. Your background, schooling, family, credit score, even online usernames. They had everything. "When I was looking through the potential trainee's info, you struck me as odd. It's not exactly an every day thing that we get people who are more tech inclined rather than have a police or military background, but it happens. Usually they wash out though and end up in our research department."

"But I don't want to be in the research department," you said, frowning. Was he going to push you over to that section of the organization? You didn't want to be there though, otherwise you would have applied there.

"Every time I talk to someone and they have the chance to go to research after speaking to them about it, they take it," Chris said. "They figured out they can't cut doing the ground work so they move to a different field, but not you. I see you everyday in training, working your ass off to keep up with everyone and you almost make it. Not quite, but almost. Almost isn't going to cut it out on a mission."

"I know, I just. . . I'm working on it," you said, trying not to sound hateful or rude as your hands started to move on autopilot, putting your gun back together. "I'm really trying and I just can't get over this stupid hump that's holding me back."

"What's that? What's holding you back?" Chris asked.

"Me. I'm holding myself back," you said with a sigh. "I second guess everything because everyone around me has the experience that I don't, but I know I can do it. I just choke when it's time to act."

"I know you have some experience that they don't," Chris said. You nodded, understanding what he was talking about.

"I was a kid when it happened, I could barely call it working experience," you said, pushing the empty magazine into the gun.

"It was for Sherry Birkin," Chris said. "Raccoon City for a 9 year old isn't something to sniff at. From what the reports said, you were by yourself for three days before you made it out."

"Yeah," you said, nodding as you moved to the handgun next, disassembling it easily. "Hid in my apartment till I saw military trucks driving by then ran out."

"You lost your whole family to what we're training you to fight," Chris said, keeping his eyes on your hands as your fingers moved without faltering as you put the gun back together. "You were a kid when that happened. I say it still counts for experience that no one else really has. You know what you're doing with the infected and you know what it's like in the aftermath. We need people who know what it's like so that we can stop it from happening again."

"So what do you propose?" You asked, looking up as you finished putting the handgun back together. "After school training? Tutoring? Or do you want me to be counselor for survivors or shove me off to R and D?"

Chris chuckled as he closed the folder to look up at your face.

"I'm not gonna cut you," he said. "You know what you're doing and you're right. You're hang up is yourself. I'm gonna work with you to get over it. It's probably one the easiest things to work through really."

"You mean I can stay?" You asked, relaxing back into the chair, not even realizing you had grown so tense.

"Yeah. I just watched you take those weapons apart and put them back together in record time without even pausing," he said, pointing to the guns in front of you. "I want to work with you, Y/N. This isn't going to be an easy fight, but I really believe you have what it takes to be a good B.S.A.A. agent."

"Thank you, Sir," you said, smiling softly. "I appreciate that."

"You're welcome. We'll start some one on one combat training tomorrow before class. You're going to be working double what the others are, but it'll be for the best in the long run," he said.

"Whatever it takes, I'll do what I need to," you said.

"Glad to here it. Now, while we're here in the shooting range, let's test your aim."

[liquid-luck-00]

Lantern!Marinette 2

Ao3 *** Part 1 *** Here *** Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~

Okay so I didn't touch Mari's parents before so here it is.

Simple explanation the magic that flows from Adana erased Mari's existence because she was so young. However those that loved her, that she loved, or who were impactful our Mari's life will remember her as a dream or imaginary friend respectively. If or when they meet her again it would be 'I know you from some where, but I don't know from where.'

In all intense and purposes Mari is a ghost.

So with that said here we go.

---

So here she was starting middle school in Coast City. It was actually not half bad. same there was nothing about the intergalactic wars, the policies that set the Green Lanterns as the Galactic Police force or any history she learned from the Blues. This actually made her dangerously behind in Earth history, but Marinette was always a quick study. Her English, math, science, and art were amazing and her physical capabilities made her a star athlete. Only downside was making friends, like seriously everyone stayed in groups of two. Add to the fact she knew little of Earth culture and customs, made it hard to interact with others outside of class work. All in all she was shy.

Whenever a villain would attack and she was able to assist she would, but she made sure she was not seen and only boosted her dad's powers while healing injuries before they could be noticed. This only lasted about a little over a year.

She knew better than to call dad when she knew that he was in a meeting with the JLA, but it was kinda hard to ignore the yellow blur running through the city causing havoc.

"What's wrong?" He answered on the second call, murmurs were heard in the background.

"There's a speedster in yellow tearing up and down the city." she responded simply.

"Can you see..."

"Crap!" was shouted on the other end "Got to go. Reverse got out." Someone yelled but she didn't recognize the voice.

"I'll go with you," dad sighed. "He is in Coast." was the last thing she heard before dad ended the call. She took that to mean she should transform and help minimize the damage and keep an eye out.

Not even 10 minutes later she saw a red blur followed by her dad's green one. (They were held up by a nosy Bat who couldn’t help himself because someone cough*Superman*cough decided to eavesdrop on the call.) She updated him, and he repeated it, to who she now recognizes as the Flash, and they got to work.

It didn't take them long to defeat the Reverse Flash, but here is where they ran into a problem. Coast was equipped to deal with most metas but speedsters that got their power from the speed force were different, and by that they meant difficult.

"I have an idea." She piped up through to her dad’s comms.

"Come on over and share with the group." She landed not even a minute later spooking the Flash. "What's the idea."

"Am I not supposed to ask who this is?" Was asked by Flash, but he was completely ignored.

"So you know how the speed force allows speedsters to vibrate which allows them to pass trough matter, which is why transporting and containing speedsters are so difficult." She began to explain.

"Um..." Dad seemed completely lost. This was something she learned with the Blues in order to understand for when she would eventually come back to Earth.

"How do you..?" Flash seemed to look at her as if she just grew a second head and was suddenly very dangerous.

"Well if we create a double construct that infuses both frequencies of the spectrum" Marinette continued.

"It'll stop him from escaping since it would be two simultaneous frequencies working in tandem occupying the same space and speedsters can only vibrate at one at a given time." Flash caught onto her idea.

"Exactly!" she beamed.

"Alright let's try." Dad agreed once he fully understood.

They tested a small square and tightly wove several strands of energy until a swatch was big enough and tightly worn enough was created. They continued to expand it until Reverse Flash was in a bubble, which they proceeded to fly to Star City. After dropping off Reverse Flash, the actual Flash practically dragged the two lanterns to his home.

"Okay Jordan spill." Flash was now in civilian clothes, dad crossed his arms and huffed dropping his transformation and she followed suit, slightly hiding behind him.

"Hey Barry dinners just about ready." A woman came out of the other room. "Hey Hal want to join us?" she asked smiling and then spotted her. "Who's this?"

"Dinner would be lovely Iris," Dad replied smiling. "And this is Marinette," he pushed her forward and she gave a light wave and smile.

"Hello," was barely audible.

The woman, Iris, turned to Flash, Barry, "Dad and Wally should be here soon." As the words left her mouth the door opened and revealed a man and a teenager.

"Heya Auntie Iris, Uncle Barry, what's up Hal,” and he froze seeing her, "Um... Hi."

He was a blur until that, so speedster.

"Wally why don't you and Marinette get the table set." Iris suggested breaking the awkward silence between the two teens.

Wally led her to the kitchen, "I'll get the plates, can you do the table?"

"Sure." she answered and used the constructs of the ring to expand the table and bring over two more chairs.

"What?!" the plates began to fall from his hands, so she reacted since he didn’t seem to, catching them in another construct moving them over to the table. "Your a blue lantern!"

"Yeah, and you're a speedster." she shot him a smile. After that dinner was significantly less awkward, seeing as everyone knew or was a hero, and was filled with questions and lots of laughter, mainly getting to know her.

"In all seriousness you might want to keep her away from the Bat." Barry joked.

"Bats isn't getting Bluebell. Hell if today hadn't happened you wouldn't have known about her." Dad grumbled.

"Why should I stay away from a bat, I thought they were harmless to humans, or are you talking about a bat used for sports?" She was genuinely confused.

"Bats is a nickname for Batman a vigilante from Gotham. He a few years ago took in a ward." A soft ‘Oh’ was heard from her, but Barry continued "So, when are you going to introduce her to the rest of the League."

"I won’t if I can help it."

"But we knew this would happen sooner or later." she piped in.

"Yes but you've only been on Earth a year."

"You kept her from us for a year. Good job Jordan." Barry complimented.

"Year and a half actually, but better now than during something cataclysmic." she rationalized.

"That's true." Dad paused a moment before exclaiming, "I see what your doing little lady." A mock scowl on his face.

---

That was her first friendship she made. Wally would randomly come over for the week end. She found out about a month later that it was whenever he needed a breather from his teammates.

That in turn meant that she would know quite well the inner workings of the team as he knew she could keep it a secret. When in private he would use (in the beginning at least) Robin, Artemis, Aqualad, Superboy, and Miss Martian otherwise he he ended up using pokemon names to describe them while in public. He had taken it upon himself to help her understand Earth culture and that mainly revolved around playing a lot of video games,watching movies or tv, or going out to various locations. Riolu, Chikorita, Croconaw, Machamp, Ditto and of late, a new teammate called Zatanna, nicknamed Kirlia. In all honesty she heard the nicknames so often that that was how she knew his teammates. It got to the point that he would call her Togetic, so in retaliation she calls him Pikachu.

Part 3

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @miraculouspenta

Taglist: @anjuschiffer @michaelshadow7779 @maskedpainter @corporeal-terrestrial @slytherinhquinn

[zukkoxx]

mha boys realizing they’re in love pt.1

w/ deku, bakugo

tw⚠️ insecurities!, self doubt!

deku 🥦

izuku knew he loved you since you guys started dating.

he had liked you for a long time, and when you finally got together in your last year of UA, he couldn’t have been happier.

he planned on living the rest of his life with you. and would go through any feats to make it possible.

so when you started to feel doubts about your relationship? that was a wake up call for him.

you had just finished training, all sweaty and tired, walking back to your dorm with a towel around your neck.

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly, and just happened to come across a twitter post about your boyfriend, deku, who had just taken down one of the villains that’s been on the run for months.

you smiled. you were so proud of him. already achieving his dream in becoming one of the greatest heroes. and getting the recognition he finally deserved.

you made it your your dorm, slumping on your bed as you read some of the comments.

woah this guy is still attending UA!? he’ll be a great hero for sure

there’s no one like him!

deku strikes again! what a stud😍

you laughed at some, grimaced at others that claimed the mission was too easy for him. but one particular comment had you freezing in your spot.

is he single? i won’t hesitate to run to the scene and give him my hand in marriage right now!

you knew it was a fun, lighthearted comment. but you clicked the the commenters page and instantly noticed how beautiful as preppy she was.

she was also a big deku fan...probably had more merch than you.

you sighed and threw your phone across the bed.

for the past few weeks, you had been thinking about how different you and izuku were in terms of success.

you were both in your last year of high school, and he had already done so much.

worked on so many cases with pro heroes and went through successful missions all the time. he was destined to become the greatest hero.

and you?

well, you’ve never even caught a villain.

sure you’ve helped out on low grade missions for the hero you interned under, but you had never been publicly praised like izuku. you never stood out.

you had trouble believing you’d become a hero at all.

you always wondered, wouldn’t izuku be better off with someone that could keep up with him? who wouldn’t hold him back. someone who he wouldn’t leave in the dust when he excelled in the future.

he deserved someone better.

your thoughts were cut off when your dorm door brushed open, revealing no other than the man himself.

izuku walked into your room with worried eyes and seemed out of breath.

“y/n? ive texted and called a bunch of times. why haven’t you answered?” he asked, and you subtly turned to your phone that you discarded on the other half of the bed.

“my ringer was off. sorry izu.” you tired to give him a smile as he sat next to you on your bed. “i saw an article about your mission today. you were amazing!” you complimented.

“ahh you give me too much credit. i couldn’t have dont anything with the pro heroes and other people helping.”

“still, you’re a great hero. i wish i was like that.” you chuckle dryly, past insecurities already pushing forward again.

“what!? you’re a great hero y/n!” izuku exclaimed.

“i’ve barely done anything izuku. i don’t know how you put up with me. i should be able to help you on your missions, but i’m stuck in the same position i have been in. i don’t know when i’ll improve.”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic, but you had been feeling this way for so long. it was all just spilling out now.

and izuku? he literally stopped breathing when he heard what you were saying about yourself. “you deserve someone that will be able to keep up with you. what will people think when they find out the amazing deku is dating a weak, incapable, good for nothing-”

“don’t say one more word y/n.” izuku cuts you off, and you look up to meet his eyes piercing yours.

they were dark, nothing like their usual gleaming glow that shined when he looked at you.

there was no sign of amusement on any of his features. just dead seriousness

“what the hell are you talking about y/n?” he asks, but doesn’t give you a chance to respond. “you’re one of the most courageous, brave, intelligent, capable people i know! where is all of this coming from?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for a while. it’s just you’re so...amazing and i’m so...” you knew anything you could have said after that would make him even more angry. it was nothing positive.

god he probably hated you for being so insecure.

“you’re you, y/n.” izuku says softly. “you’re you and you’re who i love. i don’t care about what i do, what you do, who says what! i love you for you!”

izuku looks at you with so much love and compassion. you stared into his eyes, wondering what was gong on in his head.

well? at the moment he despised himself for letting you feel this way.

you were his whole world! the person who supported you in everything he did and he would support you in the same way! he couldn’t understand why you were feeling this way when he was literally...in love with you.

he loved you yeah of course, but hearing the way you were speaking about yourself, and how you had doubts about your relationship made his heart physically hurt. he was absolutely and unconditionally in love with you and wouldn’t be able to see himself with anyone else.

and he needed you to hear it.

“y/n you’re my everything! i’m so in love with you, no amount of fame or recognition could make me even think about leaving you!” izuku said urgently, and he finally calmed down when he saw a slight smile reach your lips.

a real one this time.

the conversation continued, and izuku promised to let you learn and remember how in love he was with you until it was the last thing he’d do.

bakugo 💥

bakugo would never pursue anyone unless he definitely knew he loved them.

so of course he never asked you out when he couldn’t differentiate if what he felt for you was love, or if it was a stupid little crush.

he didn’t like thinking about his feelings, especially the irrelevant ones.

he was trying to become the number one hero. who needed time for love anyways?

so he ignored his “feelings” for you, not allowing them to confuse him any longer.

it wasn’t until a few months into his third year when bakugo got the worst news of his life.

you were on a mission. an important one that had you absent from school for weeks.

bakugo was worried.

he’d text you every few days, asking what was going on and how things were and you’d always respond with “it’s fine.” or “we’re hanging in there.”

he assumed it was a pretty difficult mission, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

you were strong

so when he heard from a certain icy-hot that you were in the hospital in critical condition after completing the mission, he forgot about everything and ran straight to you.

ignoring aizawa’s calls, he almost blasted himself out of UA and checked every hospital for you, considering he didn’t even ask todoroki which one you were in before he left.

when he finally reached the hospital holding you, he sprinted to your room.

he found you hooked up to a bunch of wires and tests.

you looked peaceful, sleeping while the heart monitor beeped beside you.

but you looked horrible. bloody bandages covered almost every limb, and your body was covered in bruises.

bakugo’s heart dropped to his stomach. he couldn’t stand seeing you like this.

why does his feelings have to be 100x more noticeable when your tragically hurt!?

he sat down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed, wondering why no one else was visiting at this time.

he stared at you, something he couldn’t get off of his mind lately.

“why do you make me feel things, dumbass?” he asked, waiting for a response. “i never skip class! you just had to get hurt and make me skip the test review.” he rolled his eyes, but his face softened as he looked at you, still sleeping.

“i’ll help you study. you’ll probably fail without going over what we learned.”

.....

“would you wake up, you shitty woman!” he yelled, gripping the side of your bed “this is scary, you know?”

.....

“i should’ve called you today, i just assumed you’d be too busy to talk. if you told me you were in trouble, i’d blast my ass to wherever you were in a heartbeat.” bakugo said, feeling his actual heart skip a beat when you still didn’t respond. 

“please wake up...”

after about an hour of waiting, your other classmates came in, checking on your condition.

you still hadn’t woken up, but your vitals were better and your breath were more steady.

by the time night fell, everyone left; except for bakugo

he was just starting to fall asleep when he felt she. he heard you stir in the hospital bed.

his head shot up, quickly turning to face you as he saw you blinking you eyes slowly.

“y/n!” he yelled a little louder than anticipated, making you shoot awake and look at him.

you blinked a few more times before realizing who you were looking at. “katsuki!?” you asked, trying to sit up, but feeling a sharp pain in your side.

“hey! don’t move dumbass. are you okay? do you remember anything?” he frantically asked.

“umm...i’m fine?” you said, sounding like you were trying to convince yourself. “why are you here?”

“why am i here? you were admitted into the hospital in critical condition!”

“i-i’m sorry, everything’s a bit fuzzy right now.” you say softly, putting a hand on your forehead and tryin got remember everything.

bakugo softened, and waited until you got yourself together. “how long have you been here?” you ask

“since this morning.”

“this morning!? katsuki what about school? do your parents even know you’re here?”

“why the hell are you worried about me? you’re the one hooked up to all these machines and can barely move!” bakugo yelled, trying to understand why you were so focused on him being there with you.

“i just never thought you’d be the one to go out of your way to check on someone. let alone be here the whole day...” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy at the idea of bakugo keeping your sleeping body company for hours.

bakugo froze at your words.

he really wasn’t the type to go check on people for more than a few minutes. especially not one to skip school because of it.

maybe he did this because he felt a little more than what he thought he did.

maybe this wasn’t a stupid little crush? maybe it was something serious that he had just been blowing off.

when he heard about your condition, he just couldn’t stand by. there must have been something that pushed him to run to you.

“it’s cause u care about you...idiot. i wasn’t gonna a let you suffer here alone.” he huffs, crossing his arms.

“katsukiii do you like me or something?” you asked in a teasing tone

he couldn’t believe you were making jokes at a time like this. furthermore, he couldn’t believe how easy it was for you to see through his facade.

“i do.” he states. there was no point in lying.

“i was just kidding kats-“

“i’m not.” he cuts you off. “i care about you, and i like you. a lot. so...you better like be bad damn it. or i’ll blow you to bits!”

you chuckled and smiled tenderly at him. you definitely weren’t expecting him to say that, but you weren’t complaining.

“i like you too...i guess.” you smile, and katsuki tsked before smirking at you.

he finally felt like he could breath again, and that everything was going to be fine now.

except...katsuki didn’t like you. he loved you. but no way would he tell you that

this absolutely sucks i can’t believe i’m posting this. if you can, plz give me some requests so i don’t make trash hcs like this again. they’ll be a pt.2 later. hopefully it isn’t as bad as this one.

click here to send a request. i’d really appreciate it!

[glass-rose-paperweight]

Rosie Watson

I don’t see much talk about Rosie, which is understandable since she has so little screen time. However, a child is a pretty important part of anyone’s life. And I’m in a child psychology class right now, so this sort of stuff is on my mind. I often see her appear in fanfiction, usually inaccurately, which is understandable because writing children is hard. This post is going to talk about her development at the end of the show (about 18 months old), what her development would be like at 2 years old (a common age for her in fanfiction), and how Mary’s death might have affected her.

Physical Development

By 18 months old, the physical development of most babies is pretty well developed. They’re almost definitely going to be walking by this time, maybe still a little unsteadily, but most can get around pretty well without much assistance at 18 months. By two years old, most children can climb stairs, run, and jump. Other than growing bigger, their physical development is starting to come to a close. Fine motor skills are still developing at this age; gross motor skills are going to be more well developed. A common test used is stacking blocks. At 18 months, they can generally only stack about 3, but by 2 years, babies can usually stack 5 blocks. Their peripheral and color vision is basically completely developed by 2 years, and their eyes, unless there is something wrong with them, will probably be close to 20/20 vision. They have well developed depth perception and perceptual constancy (the idea that an object viewed from a different distance or a different angle is still the same object). By 18 months, their hearing is well developed, and babies of this age can locate the sources of sounds just as well as adults can. 

Cognitive Development

Jean Piaget came up with 6 stages for cognitive development in babies. By 18 months, Rosie would be in either stage 5 (12-18 months) or stage 6 (18-24 months). By this age, Rosie would be quite inquisitive about the world. Babies at this age are described as ‘miniature scientists’: they are exploring and trying to figure out how things work, often getting into things they shouldn’t. And since they can move around pretty well by this age, they’re able to get into a lot of things. They will be engaging in trial and error behaviors in order to accomplish something, though at 18, the baby might be able to start mentally representing some objects and able to manipulate them in their head and figure it out that way. The example Piaget gives is an experiment he did on his own kids. At (I think) 18 months, he gave his daughter a stick that she wanted to pull into her crib. She was able to get it into her crib only by repeated trial and error of repeatedly turning the stick until it was able to fit through the bars. He repeated this experiment with a different kid when they were about 24 months old, and they were able to sit there and think about it for a moment before turning the stick and pulling it into the crib because they were able to mentally manipulate the stick. Object permanence is fully established around 12 months, so Rosie at this age would fully grasp it and go after objects that have left her view or been hidden. Deferred imitation (the ability to repeat an observed action after a waiting period) is also well established by 12 months - children are able to repeat actions seen 4 weeks prior. So it would be easy for Rosie to repeat the actions of others at 18 months, definitely by 2 years. This is because memory starts solidifying around 12 months. Toddlers 1-3 years old require 12-14 hours of sleep each day.

Language

I think this is the biggest mistake I see when it comes to writing really young children. Your 2 year old will not be speaking complete sentences. At 18 months, babies only have a vocabulary of about 50 words (though, they can understand far more words than this - probably twice as many words). Between 18 and 22 months, babies have a vocabulary explosion, going from 50 words to about 300. About 75% of the words gained during this time are nouns. What is common at this age is overextension, which is use of words in situations where meaning is extended. This usually happens with function or form. For example, if a baby is shown a small dog and told that is a ‘doggie’ and then shown a cow and told that is a ‘cow’, they child might think anything bigger than the small dog is a cow, even if its actually a dog. So medium to large dogs, sheep, horses, moose, and cows might all get called cows. By extension, anything about the size of the dog, or maybe even smaller, might get called ‘doggie’. Or, maybe the baby has a toy train that it calls a ‘choo-choo’. The baby might end up calling anything with wheels a ‘choo-coo’. At 18-24 months, babies will be using 2 word sentences. However, they do seem to understand syntax pretty well at this age - if they want you to sit in a chair, they will tell you ‘sit chair’, not ‘chair sit’. At this age, they will be using Telegraphic Speech, which are brief expressions that contain the meaning of the sentence but only essential words are used. Adults use this in their everyday life, such as if we text someone ‘home Tuesday’ instead of ‘I will be home on Tuesday’.  If you want to go the route of showing Rosie as some sort of genius baby (or any baby of this age, for that matter), then you might have a baby using 3 word sentences with a vocabulary of 500 words. That would be a very smart baby. However, it’s almost impossible to tell how smart someone will be at this age. Baby’s brains are still developing, and even the smartest babies will have an upper limit on what they are capable of at this age. Most IQ tests can’t really start accurately predicting future intelligence until about 5 or 6. Even the tests that have been designed for babies 2 and younger are really only useful for telling if there’s some sort of cognitive impairment, not if the baby is exceptionally smart for its age. Even the ones that excel at the tests at that age might end up with only average intelligence. If you want Rosie to be a genius, it likely won’t really start showing until she is a little older.

Mary’s Death

Mary dies sometime between Rosie being about 6 months (when she throws the rattle at Sherlock) and 18 months (the end of TFP). We’ll just say 12 months for easy numbers. By this age, Rosie would have developed very strong attachments to her caregivers. Obviously John and Mary are her caregivers, but the scene where Rosie throws the rattle at Sherlock shows that Rosie has formed a strong attachment with Sherlock; 6 months is about the age where fear of strangers begins, and Rosie shows absolutely no discomfort with Sherlock, so he’s been around enough for the previous months to have a strong attachment with him. When Molly tells Sherlock that John doesn’t want to see him anymore at the end of T6T, we’re going to say that Rosie is about 12 months. This is about the time when fear of strangers starts declining, but if Rosie wasn’t pretty comfortable with Molly, she would be fussy at being taken away from her father, so it’s a pretty safe bet that Molly has also been pretty involved with taking care of Rosie. So, that’s 4 primary caregivers total. Some might think that, because Rosie is so young, Mary’s death wouldn’t affect her. And Rosie isn’t likely to remember Mary or that she died. However, babies are utterly dependent on those that take care of them. Consequently, they form very strong attachments to those that take care of them. As anyone who has been around a baby can tell you, they get upset when the person that takes care of them disappears and isn’t around to offer them safety and comfort. By 12, Rosie would have formed a very strong attachment with Mary; even with her other caregivers being around, she still would have noticed Mary’s absence and been affected by it. However, her other caregivers weren’t around. John tells Sherlock that he doesn’t want Sherlock around any more, and then Sherlock goes “off his tits” with drugs for a while. John is having to deal with his wife being dead and the anger he feels towards his friend over that. It’s shown that he’s not doing too well. He’s probably still Rosie’s primary caregiver, but he almost definitely wouldn’t be as involved as he was simply because he’s so emotionally distraught. Meaning that the person who was probably least involved with Rosie prior to Mary’s death (Molly) might have ended up becoming the main caregiver for Rosie for a little while there. She went from 4 to 1 and a half caregivers, more or less. And that would definitely have affected her.  The most obvious way would be in her attachment style. Babies form different attachments to their caregivers, partially dependent on the baby’s own temperament, but usually dependent a lot more on the kind of care they receive. Most babies have secure attachment. Securely attached babies will show mild distress at a caregiver’s departure and will want to interact with the caregiver upon their return. However, they are easily comforted by the caregiver and go back to being happy and content pretty soon after being comforted. They use their caregiver as a secure base to explore the world around them. As long as the caregiver is close by, and giving positive signals as the baby is exploring if the baby becomes uncertain, they will remain content and explore just about everything they can. Securely attached babies are happier and more sociable with strangers, more cooperative with parents, get along better with peers, are better at problem solving, and having higher attention spans and lower impulsive behaviors. Contrast that with insecure attachment. There are actually 3 different types of insecure attachments, but I’m not going to go into them because this post is long enough as it is, and the individual types isn’t really important. There are some consistencies. Insecurely attached babies will be more emotionally distressed and less easily comforted by caregiver’s departure. They may initially show confusion or be dazed and disoriented with the caregiver first leaves. They may show contradictory behavior when the caregiver returns, alternating between pulling the caregiver close and pushing them away (though, there is one form of insecure attachment where the baby basically just ... doesn’t care about the caregiver. They show the least distress out of all babies when the caregiver leaves and basically ignores them when the caregiver returns).  Rosie would most likely start out as a securely attached baby. She is surrounded by a lot of people that love her and engage with her and take very good care of her. Sherlock would absolutely encourage exploration and curiosity within Rosie. however, attachment styles can change, depending on the caregiving received. I think it likely that, after the events of T6T, her attachment style would change from secure to insecure. The good news is, that also means it can change back, from insecure to secure. Even though we see Sherlock and John interacting with her will at the end of TFP, she would likely still be insecurely attached. It takes time for anyone to get over that sort of thing. If you are writing her at 18-20 months, it would be completely believable to write her as being a bit of a ‘problem baby’, with all the issues that come from insecure attachment. However, by 2 years, she will likely have gone back to a secure attachment style, likely with no lasting consequences of what happened during season 4. Babies display a wonderful ability to bounce back from all sorts of harsh conditions they go through at a young age, showing almost no problems later in life as long as they are given the chance to have a better situation and improve.

I hope this helps anyone looking to write about Rosie or any babies about 18 to 24 months of age. 

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s S2 R&S - Tempering (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from an R&S (淬炼) which has not been released in English servers!🍒

This R&S features S2 Gavin!

[ Chapter One ]

Eight-year old Tang Chao wrote in his homework: My aspiration is to be free and easy, and get to sleep after a full meal. 

The teacher failed him.

Eighteen-year old Tang Chao wasn’t able to be free and easy, nor get sleep after a full meal. This is because he was recommended for admission into the police academy.

Everyone knows that he’s a “specially enrolled student”. When he entered the academy, he didn’t even have to go through the “Demon Test”. He wasn’t treated harshly by the officers during training. The first semester consisted of some foundational stamina training and a few superficial criminal investigation classes. In the first month, Tang Chao barely passed in every course. Yet, he remains unusually carefree.

Tang Chao’s roommate feels indignant. “It’s only because your Evol is special. Otherwise, you’d have been expelled from the academy a long time ago with such grades.”

“That’s right, my Evol is special.” Tang Chao arches his brows. “If the academy were to expel me, they’ll experience a great loss.”

Detecting lies is essentially an Evol meant for criminal investigation. And it’s precisely because of this ability that he was recommended for admission into this first-rate police academy despite his average physique. 

“Hmph. Anyway, you only have a few more days of being carefree.” His roommate flips over on the iron bed, sticking out half his head from above. “I heard from the instructors that the first month after entering the academy merely counts as a warm up. Actual training will only begin next week. The higher-ups even sent a third year student to supervise us. Guess who our class got?”

“Who?”

His roommate pauses with each syllable. “Gav. In!”

“Who’s Gavin?”

His roommate almost falls down from the bed. “You don’t even know who Gavin is?”

“Why do I have to know him...” Tang Chao mutters. “Is this person very famous?”

“Famous! He’s so famous! He’s celebrated!”

The famous Senior Gavin had passed, with record-breaking marks, the admission exam, physical capabilities, shooting, Close Quarters Combat, simulated sand tables... His marks for various segments have never fallen below the top three places. In his second year, he was already heading out on missions with full-time Evol agents. Even before graduating, he was so popular that police departments from various districts were already falling over each other in their eagerness to snatch him up.

“...but I heard that mission was pretty tragic. It seems a comrade from the same squadron as him lost his life... Hey, are you listening to me?”

“I’m listening, I’m listening.” Despite Tang Chao’s perfunctory words, he has to admit that this Senior Gavin is indeed more of a special police officer than he is.

Or rather, Evol special police officers ought to be like Gavin. 

“I should caution you. Apparently, he’s exceptionally haughty, and you might as well be a grain of sand in his eyes.” His roommate pats the edge of the bed. “You should be a little more serious next week.”

Tang Chao laughs. “What can he do to me? I’m someone with a special privilege.”

His roommate clicks his tongue, not advising him further. “Seeing that you have such virtuous conduct, you can ask for help after meeting him.

-

[ Chapter Two ]

After assembling in the field on Monday morning, Tang Chao realises that a young man in his twenties is standing next to their class leader. The other party looks fierce, his back even straighter than the Chinese fir trees along the field. At a glance, it’s evident that there’s a world of difference between him and this batch of newly enrolled students.

“This is Student Gavin from the Seventh Squadron. This semester, he will be a provisional supervisor and instructor. In the training from now onwards, I want all of you to be more spirited and driven, and prohibited from embarrassing our class.” The class leader exclaims. “Do you hear me!”

“Yes!”

Amid the uniform responses from the formation, Gavin’s line of sight sweeps across this batch of new students. Everyone holds their breaths and keep silent, thinking that this senior would be giving them a lecture. In the end, the other party simply nods. “In that case, we’ll officially begin. As a warm up, run 10km.”

How many kilometres?

Everyone looks at each other, thinking they must have misheard.

Tang Chao raises his hand. “Reporting to the instructor - We typically run 5km in the mornings...”

Gavin turns a deaf ear to him. “Turn to the right, get ready --- Run.”

[Note] I recorded the audio for his command because why not

At this point, everyone realises that Gavin is truly like what the rumours said, and is not to be trifled with. All they can do is gulp in resentment, running in formation. Tang Chao deliberately lags at the very end, then walks towards Gavin, giving him a salute. “Reporting to the instructor.”

Gavin looks at him.

“I can’t run 10km.” Tang Chao is straightforward. “I have a special situation. The class leader and the others know about it. If I were to run 10km, I’ll really die...”

“Since you’re enrolled in the police academy, there’s no special situation.” Gavin responds. “As for whether or not you’ll die, we’ll talk about that after you’ve finished running.”

“...”

In the end, Tang Chao finishes running. Or rather, he finishes crawling.

The other students in class have already finished running and have headed off for breakfast. He’s the only one who resembles a ghost, drifting on the field. Occasionally, some classmates would pass by. He usually laughs and jokes around while they’re still running, so seeing him - who entered through the back door - finishing last leaves them gloating a little.

Gavin, on the other hand, doesn’t gloat. When Tang Chao staggers to the end point, he speaks with a blank expression. “You’re late by 20 minutes. Have your breakfast. The class will assemble after 20 minutes, and we’ll start with the next training. 

Initially, Tang Chao was already too tired to speak. After hearing this command, he can’t help but do so. “Brother... ah no, Instructor Gavin, even if you’re just showing your authority at the first encounter, it should be enough.”

Gavin furrows his brows.

“Just look at how cooperative I’ve been. Seeing how I've ended up, the others in class will definitely listen and obey you unquestioningly.” Tang Chao cracks his knuckles. “But my physical constitution is really like this. It isn’t my choice to rank at the bottom of the class. Could you just close an eye and let me off?”

Gavin looks at his unwillingness to change, and speaks plainly. “Since you’re so unwilling to undergo training, what are you doing here.”

Tang Chao shrugs. “There’s not much reason. Someone needs me to be here, undergo some simple training, go through the motions, then graduate as a matter of course, then help crack some cases and make a living.”

“What I'm asking is - why are you staying here.” Gavin’s voice turns stern. “If someone didn’t need it, you wouldn't be here? When you were running, I asked your class leader for the training results from your first month. Most of your marks hovered around the passing grade, and you had to re-take a few tests.”

Tang Chao releases an “mm” sound -- even though it’s very embarrassing to be told this in such a straightforward manner, the results are black and white, so he doesn’t hope to get anything higher.

Gavin continues. “From the numbers of your make-up examinations, you actually have quite a lot of potential.”

Tang Chao is left dumbfounded.

“Since you have potential, don’t waste it.” After Gavin finishes speaking, he leaves.

-

[ Chapter Three ]

Gavin’s demon-like training continues. On the second day, he adds weight training and 200 push-ups to the training regimen. At this point, it’s not just Tang Chao who can’t handle it - the other new students in the class can’t endure it midway through. On the third day, he adds an obstacle course and forty minutes of wrestling on top of the basic training.

“I think I understand now. Senior Gavin doesn’t want me to die. He wants everyone to die.” Tang Chao feebly concludes during wrestling training.

Finally, a week goes by. A simulation tactics manoeuvre is added to the training. This is a rare course in which Tang Chao can attain high marks. With an Evol which allows him to detect lies, he’s especially skilled in courses related to psychological warfare. He looks at the holographic sand table before him. Filled with inexplicable courage, he suddenly raises his hand. “Report.”

“What is it?” Gavin’s voice drifts over from the front.

"I wish to challenge Gavin to a round.” Tang Chao raises his voice.

At this moment, soft discussions fill the surroundings. Gavin arches his brows. Amid the discussions, he walks to the other side of the holographic sand table, not engaging in superfluous words. “Which one do you want to start?”

“Rescuing hostages in a factory. I’ll storm the fortification.”

“No problem.”

Tang Chao’s palms begin to sweat slightly, but he maintains the provocative smile on the corners of his lips. “Instructor, if I win, could I be exempted from the remaining training for today?”

Gavin pulls open the map. “We’ll talk about that after you’ve won.”

The holographic sand table simulation is an entirely new course introduced to students in recent years. The maps in the sand table, the personnel’s Evol abilities, the weather and weapons are entirely constructed by the system. Because this is meant to train a students’ adaptive and judgment skills, there’s no such thing as a party gaining an advantage over another through undergoing a similar experience.

Not even after ten minutes after the round begins, Tang Chao’s moves have already garnered him sixty more points than Gavin.

In the lead over Gavin for the first time, his heart finally feels slightly pleased. He can’t help but lift his eyes to cast Gavin a glance. However, the other party doesn’t look frantic at all. Gavin’s line of sight is focused on the sand table in front of him, fingers continuously moving and tapping. The originally three-way defense team is quickly split into nine teams, intercepting and attacking Tang Chao from all directions.

At this moment, students observing from the side burst into an uproar. Having to command nine groups at the same time - is he human?!

Tang Chao is also very shocked. But in the next second, he loses his ability to be shocked. The symbols on the map representing each other’s movements flicker continuously. Gradually, he can no longer keep up with Gavin’s movements - there is too much false information. The moment he calculates that one path can’t be taken, many more paths around him have already been blocked. 

An increasing number of regions struck with red crosses appear on the map. When he finally grabs the hostage, the six teams he originally had have been reduced to a small four-person group by Gavin.

Gavin shuts the holographic sand table. “Any thoughts?”

Tang Chao remains stubborn. “At least I successfully rescued the hostage...”

“You think that’s called a success?” Gavin laughs coldly. “Do you know why the highest marks are awarded based on the number of people left in the simulation? Because every red dot on the map represents the life of a comrade in real life.”

Tang Chao feels as though something is lodged in his throat.

“In an actual operation, the situations you have to face are even more dangerous, and even more complicated than in the sand table.” Gavin looks around at all of the students. “The criminal will not give you as much time and opportunities to make judgement calls. Every wrong decision could result in the death of a comrade.”

His gaze returns to Tang Chao, his tone becoming more severe. “Give it proper thought.”

Tang Chao lowers his head. “Yes.”

“But you were courageous in bringing up the challenge, and it’s worth encouraging.” Gavin curls his forefinger and taps the sand table. “5km, go.”

For the first time, Tang Chao wholeheartedly finishes the 5km run. He pounds his aching and sore legs, preparing to return to the dormitory. Suddenly, he sees his opponent from half an hour ago at a corner not afar off.

Gavin is standing underneath a tree, holding a photograph in his hand.

Gavin doesn’t notice Tang Chao. All of his focus is channelled onto that photograph. In this moment, he seems to have unloaded all his defences, becoming a Gavin different from his usual self. Those perpetually stern eyes have grown dim, bringing with them a twinge of fatigue. 

Tang Chao holds his breath, subconsciously squinting his eyes to identify the photograph. On it seems to be... a female? Could she be Instructor Gavin’s...

But why is there blood on the photograph?

Before he can let his imagination roam, someone suddenly pats him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Tang Chao, have you seen Instructor Gavin?” His roommate asks. “I need to look for him.”

Tang Chao turns slightly, blocking his roommate’s line of sight. He points in another direction. “Oh, I saw him. He walked towards the canteen.”

The lies of a person who can detect lies will never be discovered by someone else. His roommate doesn’t doubt him, and gives him another pat on the shoulder. “Thanks.”

After his roommate walks a distance away, he turns his head once again to look at Gavin, before leaving quietly.

He doesn’t know what that girl in the photograph means to Gavin, but his instincts told him that the tranquil image before him wasn’t one which someone should have disrupted.

-

[ Chapter Four ]

Amid torrential rain, one group continues training on the field of the police academy. The gloomy weather and gloomy atmosphere seem to make the weight on their shoulders much heavier than usual. But this time, no one complains, including Tang Chao.

--Because yesterday, another comrade in the police academy lost his life in a hostage rescue operation.

The pools of water beneath their feet are akin to pools of blood. The wooden piles on their shoulders seem to be alive and breathing, weighing down on them, and leaving them unable to catch their breath. Tang Chao grits his teeth. Even if he’s at the very end of the formation, he doesn’t give up on pressing forward.

“Late by four minutes.” Gavin clutches the watch at the end point as always. “There’s improvement.”

Only Tang Chao knows just how much effort he expended for the few words “there’s improvement”.

In this moment, he vaguely figure things out in his mind. Even though it’s very unclear, there’s a life goal in his heart which is more definite and firm than being “free and easy, and sleeping after a full meal”. Carefree days are definitely good. If he were to cast down the wooden piles and shout “I quit”, he can have them. But as long as he remains in the police academy for one more day, as long as the vow he made upon entering the academy still remains engraved in his heart, his future is destined to have no fate with being free and easy.

Tang Chao releases a muddy breath. He unloads the weight, laying directly on the field. “Instructor Gavin, how did you tell that I had potential back then?”

Gavin is silent for a while. “...actually, that was a lie.”

Tang Chao bursts out laughing.

Perhaps it was indeed a lie from Gavin. But he had followed through with this lie, and enabled Tang Chao to believe this lie too - he had never given up on Tang Chao, and Tang Chao had never given up on himself.

The rain continues pouring down. After laughing, Tang Chao’s voice mixes with the clear water. “Did you know? I suddenly had the ability to detect lies overnight.”

Gavin doesn’t say anything, and Tang Chao continues. “At first, I didn’t even know how to control my Evol. I was so confused, and the people around me were also very alarmed. Because those around me could no longer conceal anything. No matter what kind of masks they wore, I could remove them. Many people were afraid of talking to me. They didn’t even dare to come near to me. That period of time was... pretty depressing. It’s such an incredible ability.”

“Afterwards, I fumbled around and became clearer on how to use this ability. I more or less figured out how to live in such an environment.” Tang Chao points at his head. “The secret is in not caring.”

“It’s not that you really don’t care.” Gavin says.

“That’s right.” Tang Chao smiles wryly. “It’s just that after pretending not to care for such a long time, I’ve become confused too. Instructor Gavin, do you think I can still find the reason for staying here?”

Gavin ponders for a moment before responding. “I can’t imagine how it feels like to be surrounded by lies. But right now, you’re able to walk out from those days, and maintain an independent judgement. It shows that you’re actually much more tenacious than the average person.”

“I don’t think that I’m strong...”

“No one is born strong.”

Tang Chao wipes at the rainwater on his face. “Including yourself?”

“Including myself.” Gavin says solemnly. “I was at a loss before, but afterwards... I found a reason to persevere. I think it’s only a matter of time before you’ll also find a conviction belonging to yourself.”

When Gavin speaks, his intonation doesn’t fluctuate much. It’s as though he’s elaborating on an obvious fact. At this moment, Tang Chao doesn’t use his Evol, because he knows that these are Gavin’s genuine words.

There’s no need to use a lie detector to determine this.

The rain gradually lessens. Tang Chao observes the ash coloured sky for a very long time. His voice is very soft, as though he’s speaking to himself. “I can’t think of any high-sounding reasons. In that case, my goal is to become a person who can live up to this ability.”

Gavin laughs. With neither too much nor too little force, he kicks Tang Chao’s arm with his foot, then blows the assembly whistle in his hand. “All right. Get up and prepare for the next training.”

Tang Chao sits up. “Big Bro, you should at least give me a compliment!”

-

[ Chapter Five ]

Without realising it, the semester is drawing to a close, and Gavin’s task of being an assistant supervisor is ending soon. The class had originally planned to drag Gavin along to a small New Year’s Eve farewell party. In the end, Gavin was sent to participate in a special operation that day, so everyone just brought the farewell party forward, and wish Instructor Gavin a smooth and successful mission.

After the students have left the classroom, Gavin realises that Tang Chao is still standing at the doorway. “Why haven’t you left with the others?”

“I heard this mission is pretty dangerous.” Tang Chao suddenly speaks.

“Every mission is accompanied with danger.” Gavin says.

“Not that kind of danger...” Although Tang Chao isn’t a participant in this mission, he has heard about its contents. “The moment it isn’t handled properly, the dissent between civilians and Evolvers would be aggravated. If the time comes, I’m afraid it wouldn’t end with just a few clashes and bloodshed.”

Although he’s often careless and relaxed, it doesn’t mean that he’s stupid.

“I know.” Gavin nods. “Since you’ve already heard about some of its contents, your class should more or less know about it too - did they ask you to inquire about it?”

“Not really. I wanted to ask you about it myself.” Tang Chao hugs his elbows. “If... and I’m saying ‘if’. If this operation contradicts with the convictions you’ve always persevered in, what would you do?”

“There’s no need for such hypothesis.” Gavin looks at him. “I’ll just use my own eyes to look at it, use my own mind to make a judgement, and not doubt it before the operation even begins. If conviction can be so easily swayed, it means it isn’t yours. Instead, it’s what someone else has forcefully given to you.”

Gavin pauses, glancing at his own palm. Even if its development clashes with my convictions, I’ll use my own methods to handle it.”

When Tang Chao hears this, he’s left dumbfounded. Then, he immediately laughs. “Ah, this answer is truly in line with Instructor Gavin’s style.” He moves over and crinkles his eyes at Gavin. “No wonder the higher-ups purposely trained you to become a leader. With such words, who wouldn’t want to be Instructor Gavin’s subordinate?”

Gavin shakes his head. “I’m not interested in being a leader.”

“Why aren’t you interested in anything? You said you weren’t interested in the competition earlier either...” Tang Chao grins. “It looks to me that the only interest you have is the lady in that photograph, right? When will you introduce Sis-in-law to everyone- ack!”

He receives a blow from Gavin’s elbow.

Tang Chao covers his stomach and pouts, looking aggrieved. “If you don’t want to be a leader, what about being a captain? I heard that after I graduate, the Special Operations Team proposed by the higher-ups will be formed. When the time comes, I reckon there’ll be many interesting and strong comrades joining the team. You can be the boss.”

“Am I the one forming the Special Operations Team? Can I be the captain just because I want to?” Gavin glares at him. “Why not consider whether or not you can join it first.”

“I think if it’s you, I definitely can.” Tang Chao laughs, showing his teeth. “If Captain Gavin can do it, I definitely can do it too.”

A few days later, Gavin sets out. Students from the class send him into the vehicle at the entrance of the academy. Tang Chao gives him a salute and a smile. “Wishing Instructor Gavin an early New Year’s, and wishing you a safe and successful operation.”

Gavin nods, returning a salute to everyone. “I receive your good wishes. Happy New Year. In the future, we’ll definitely meet again.”

Everyone watches as the truck leaves their line of sight. For a very long time, nobody speaks. Finally, with a deep breath, the class leader asks. “Are we continuing with training?”

“Of course we are!”

[hichi842]

The guys in 1A are swooning and like ‘omg reader-san is so hot™ and strong etc etc’ and reader-san is always just lowkey showing off and such, but then reveals that she’s trying to impress the girls because reader-san is actually the big gay™. Reader-san is just a desperate gay and wants a snuggle pile with the ladies😭😭

(A/n): Oh my... this, this is amazing lol! We need some more gay™️ around here, especially since it’s pride month. Thanks for requesting.

Warnings⚠️: None

(Y/n) Has Boys Swooning, but She’s Big Gay

“Dude, did you see (Y/n) today. She did something new to her hair and she looks so hot!” Denki shouted to Sero, Kirishima, and Bakugo.

“I know man, she always looks good, but today just hits different.” Sero joined in.

“Haha, she is pretty good looking, huh?” Kirishima said, trying to be respectful.

Bakugo turned away from them, acting uninterested, but the blush dusting his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed by anyone.

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Ochako, Tsuyu, Midoriya, and Todoroki were gathered.

“Wow, (Y/n) really gets a lot of attention.” Ochako mentioned to the group.

Midoriya joined in. “Well I could see why, she’s very strong and capable, she honestely is such a sweet person. I-i mean It’s not like I like her or anything.” He suddenly becomes flustered over his words.

“She’s cute.” Todoroki dryly added in.

“I don’t know ribbit. She always seems to be showing off her strength and looks, but whenever anybody makes advances on her she avoids them or just blantely turns them down ribbit. There must be one guy that’s she’s into.” Tsuyu said.

That did get the class thinking a little. It was definitely known that you were one of the most good looking female students, always getting showered with attention and gifts, even the third year guys would compliment you.

Let’s not forget your power, you rank very well in both physically and edcationally. Passing tests with flying colors.

Sure you would sometimes flaunt these things, but you were still a genuinely good and sweet person always caring for all your classmates, so you were pretty much everyones dream girl.

Yet you never payed attention to guys flirting with you. You would always give a quick ‘thank you’ before walking off. You just seemed like you wanted to date, but never even gives anyone a chance.

Either way, this really didn’t stop the boys from swooning over you, you were just too amazing.

“Oh, hey (Y/n)!” Kaminari shouted as you started walking into the room, everyone looked at you and exchanged greetings.

“You did something new to your hair, huh?” Kirishima asked in a considerate tone.

You smiled “Oh this, it’s nothing really.” You shrugged.

Sadly, before anyone else could talk to you anymore, the bell rang and everyone made their way to their seats.

After a few minutes of class, Aizawa ended up falling asleep in class and let you guys finish your studying and interact with each other.

You sat next to Ochako.

“Hey Ocha, what’s your favorite food?!” You asked her.

“Oh Mochi!” She said.

“Well let’s get some after school together. I’ll pay, okay?” You winked at her.

“Okay, we should have a sleepover too and invite all the girls!”

“Oooooh totally!” You replied, the other girls of the class immediately joined in saying that I they would be willing to go and making plans for the night.

Kaminari joined in on the conversation “Can I go out with you guys too, I’ll just go around town with you then head back to my place before dark?” He was obviously trying to go because of you, but instantly regretted his question when a cloud of silent rage filled around you.

“Kaminari, it’s just going to me and the girls okayyyyy?” He could practically see the veins popping out from your head like in the anime’s.

He nodded quickly before bowing and running off in fear. You instantly went back to your cheery self.

“(Y/n), that was a bit much don’t you think?” Momo told you.

“Do you hate guys or something? You always seem to reject them so coldly.” Ochako asked.

“I’m not really interested in dating boys.” You said.

“Then why do you show off and always talk about relationships, it seems like you pretty interested in dating.” Ochako added.

“I never said I wasn’t interested in dating, I said I wasn’t interested in dating boys.” You smiled innocently.

The class froze for a second, processing the information you gave them. Then everything went into chaos.

“W-w-wait! What is that supposed to mean!?!?” Sero shouted.

“I think it means that she’s gay.” Todoroki added.

Kaminari, Sero, and Kirishima feel to the ground in defeat. “How could you lead us on like that. You’re so cruel.” Kaminari cried.

“I never led you on, I didn’t flirt with any of you and rejected all confessions. Just because you were stuck in your own fantasy, doesn’t make me the bad guy here.” You defended yourself.

“Honestly, it’s kind of hot.” Mineta drooled, thinking of you kissing another girl.

You quickly kicked him in the face. “My sexuality is not your fetish, shit face. Get your porn somewhere else!”

“Hold on, if you weren’t showing off for us...” Kirishima started. “Then that must mean you were showing off for the girls.” He exclaimed.

Now it was the girls turn to freak out, wondering if that was true.

“Well can you blame me, they’re all so cute!” You confirmed their suspicions.

“Anyway girls, still up for our sleepover!” You said slyly with a wink.

[deathtodickens]

About Ages Chapter 30

It's taking longer than anticipated, obviously, as I've spent the past month or so drawing a lot. My brain doesn't move well between the two things, writing a lot and drawing a lot. Or I haven't figured out how to get it to do that in a more time-efficient manner.

I've recently gone back into writing mode and figured it's been four years... almost five. I'll post some bits and pieces.

I am about 90% done with this chapter. It's the last stretch of 10 that I have to get through and that's taking some time.

If you're new to Ages, you can find it on AO3. It starts when Myka is nine years old and, in this latest chapter, Myka turns 21.

***

“I’m trying to take you away from this place so that I can be a certain way with you after three months of being away from you—"

“Be a certain way with me?”

“Have my certain way with you, actually. And you’re picking fights, long wordy fights, with your stepmother. I don’t want to sit through another lecture, Myka,” the irony, Myka thinks, as she is being lectured, “I want to steal you away from this place, undress you, and be this certain way with you. Then I want to fall asleep in your arms for twelve hours straight because I am physically exhausted, you are emotionally exhausted and, for once in our lives, I don’t have a flight to catch tomorrow.”

Myka hadn’t even thought about how much time they might not have until now. She hadn’t even thought to ask. She just assumed it wouldn’t be enough because it never is enough. There is never enough time for them to just be.

Helena has Myka backed against the inside of her bedroom door. She is stunned by Helena’s need to take control of this situation, or just pretending to be stunned. What she truly is, is tired and she doesn’t have the energy to fight for that control. She is happy to leave all of this, Helena’s certainties about ways in which she wants to be with Myka, in her very capable and long-missed hands.

For the first time, in a long time, Helena is grasping at Myka’s hips, moving searching hands around Myka’s waist. And Myka is reflecting on the way Helena’s hands move around her, holding her tight, pulling their hips closer together. The way Helena doesn’t move her hands any lower than the small of her back. The way Helena putting limitations on her own access to Myka’s ways is still giving Myka all of the control.

There is so much warmth, desire, and pleasure, even in this small touch. In Helena’s need to hold herself back for the sake of Myka’s comfort.

“Helena,” comes out a breathy exasperation between Myka’s lips. She doesn’t mean to say it this certain way, she’s just exhausted all over. And after all of that whatever it was with Jane, there is very little else that Myka wants to say.

All of the fighting and arguing puts her in a really bad place but it also puts her in exactly the place for this situation. This certain way Helena is trying to be with her. Where Myka gives up control to Helena and allows herself to be taken care of, rather than doing all of the care taking.

“I realized something in these last three months we’ve been apart,” Helena says softly. “You’re always doing all of the talking. I can never get a word in edgewise. For a girl who never used to say a word to me, it’s funny that you’re always the one talking now. Telling me why we don’t work, reminding me why we’re not together, avoiding my touch.”

“I’m not avoiding your touch,” Myka smiles, “I just prefer to be the one doing the touching.”

Helena squints at her but doesn’t respond to that. “You know what else I realized?”

Helena is close enough to kiss and Myka tries to do just that, but Helena pulls away with a smile, biting down on her lip.

“I don’t tell you enough how beautiful you are.”

Myka laughs. “You have me confused with the other, actually pretty daughter, in this family.”

“I definitely do not have you confused with your little sister, Myka,” Helena says this suddenly serious, annoyed, rolling her eyes.

Myka shakes her head and huffs out a breath of amusement.

Helena squints at her again and tilts her head and that’s beautiful, that gesture, the expression that pretends to be annoyed by anything Myka does. She is the beautiful one. There’s no reason both things cannot be true but Myka doesn’t believe herself to be beautiful. Certainly not more so than so many of the people Helena has known and loved. Not enough to even compare.

“That you think I’m joking is only further motivation to prove to you that I am, in fact, not.”

“I believe that you believe it,” Myka whispers, testing Helena’s commitment to this fantasy, “doesn’t make it true.”

Helena sighs. “You are beautiful, Myka. More and more beautiful every time I see you. Even when you’re frustrated and feeling vulnerable. Like now.”

Myka looks away.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I think you were right about not knowing how you’d feel, about your father’s death. You were right, more than you expected to be. You didn’t know how you’d feel then. You don’t know how it’s impacting you now. But I think it’s hitting you in a way you can’t easily see or… don’t want to.”

“Maybe you just think too much?”

“Maybe Jane was right about you hurting the people you love the most?”

Myka looks away again but says, “Why should it hit me at all? I’m not sad he’s gone.”

“Who said anything about you being sad, Myka? It could be anything. Frustrated? Lost? Untethered?” Myka laughs at that last suggestion. It could almost be true. It’s the closest, she thinks, any word has come to explaining how she feels right now even if she’s a little bit offended by the implication Warren still has that much control over her. “And how could it not impact you? He was your father.”

Myka inhales deeply.

“Why else would you treat Jane the way you did?”

“I didn’t treat her any kind of way,” Myka’s eyes are back on Helena now. Challenging. “She’s drinking and picking fights.”

“Myka. You called her an alcoholic, in so many words, over a glass of wine. You accused her of not loving your mother enough to want to be with her. You told her to break up with her. Jane? I grew up admiring the love she has for your mother, I know you saw it, too. I know that you know it’s different.”

“You’re not here, Helena, you wouldn’t know. They’ve been arguing a lot.”

Helena puffs out a small laugh, lowering her head for a moment. Causing all of those too-short bangs to fall into her face.

“Because arguing with someone means that you don’t love them,” Helena says as Myka reaches up to push Helena’s hair back behind her ear.

“That’s probably how they lost Claudia.”

“Is that what you think?” Helena asks, her gaze moving back up. Myka doesn’t acknowledge that question. “Is that part of the reason for this?” Helena asks, pointing to Myka’s forehead and setting a gentle finger over a crinkle of frustration. “Because you think they’re to blame for Claudia being away?”

“You’re not here,” Myka repeats softly, bringing her hands to Helena’s shoulders, not knowing where else to place them.

“I know,” Helena whispers, her hold on Myka’s waist tightening, pulling them closer together, “and I’m sorry for that. I will never stop being sorry for leaving you.” Their foreheads come together, the tips of their noses touch. “Can I kiss you?”

Myka doesn’t know why she asks. Why she thinks she needs to but because she does, because whatever she’s trying to do with or to Myka would swiftly translate into her winning this discussion, (and Myka’s sure this is, somehow, a race) Myka says, “No.”

Helena smiles at that answer. At the force behind its delivery.

Myka doesn’t expect Helena to step back, to completely remove her hands from Myka’s waist, or her lips from their proximity to Myka’s lips. Helena takes a whole step back and leans against the wall adjacent to Myka’s bedroom door.

“Myka, we both know that you can argue with someone you love without falling out of love with them. It sounds like Jean and Jane are just under a lot of stress. Your mother is grieving, and Jane is just trying to give her space to do that. Even if she’s a little hurt that your mother still has this connection with your father.”

Myka sighs her frustration.

“See? Frustrated. And beautiful.”

“I’d be less frustrated if you weren’t trying to make out with me while having a deeply emotional conversation about all three of my parents.”

Helena smiles and blinks ever so slowly and says, “I’m sorry,” followed by, “did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Myka moves to lean her side against that wall, too, still facing Helena.

“No kiss?”

“In thirteen years, have I ever meant it?”

“You’ve never said it to me before.”

Myka sighs and turns so that her back is against the wall now, “You already kissed me. So why are you asking now?”

“It’s called consent, Myka.”

Myka turns to Helena with an annoyed look and tells her to shut her pretty mouth.

“I’m not trying to be funny,” Helena says, even as she is laughing. She reaches a hand down toward Myka’s leg and extends a single finger to touch, gently, the skin just below Myka’s dress. Myka can see beyond the warmth and the desire now. She can see that there is fire in Helena’s eyes. That she has been waiting, far longer than those three months since they’d last seen each other, to be here with Myka, like this. “I mean it. And I’m asking because it won’t just be a kiss.”

Myka saves her the trouble, for now.

She moves in, with her back still against the wall, closer to Helena and presses a light kiss to the other woman’s lips. It reminds her of a time in high school, when they would stand this way outside of Vanessa’s class waiting for the bell to ring. Myka had only dreamt of what this might feel like back then, to have the nerve to be in control, to kiss this very woman who stands before her, without hesitation or intimidation.

As they part in the present, more of Helena’s fingers extend to the skin of Myka’s leg, just below her dress. Reaching and curling toward black fabric. Lifting the edge of her dress up.

“So you ask for a kiss,” Myka smiles, “but you cop a feel with no warning?”

Every hint of Helena’s teasing smile is gone now. She is looking back at Myka with a burn in her eyes that Myka hasn’t seen in years.

“I’m sorry,” Helena says again, softly.

Myka doesn’t know why she keeps apologizing. Why this is a thing she suddenly does, and with such ease, now. Helena clears her throat and removes her touch from Myka’s leg and Myka instantly regrets saying anything at all. That playful mood of Helena’s has slipped entirely away. Disintegrated before her eyes.

Helena stands straight and moves herself in front of Myka.

“I don’t know how to ask you what I want to ask of you, so I’m just going to say what I think will best relay what it is that I want.” Myka waits, brow arched, as Helena leans in close to whisper, eyes closed, almost against Myka’s lips. “I’ll go slow and you tell me when you want me to stop.”

Myka grins as she plucks a perfect memory from the recesses of her mind. She tells Helena, just as softly, just as close, “Someone once told me we don’t have to be so cryptic about sex.”

“You can’t take the dress off.”

“Wait, are you just turned on because I’m wearing a dress?”

Helena says nothing but puts a few inches of space between them, bites down on her lower lip.

“For the record, I’m not judging you. It’s just new,” Myka thinks, “because I don’t ever wear a dress.”

“I won’t lie to you. And you did wear a dress at Jeannie’s wedding. But you took it off before we had reconciled entirely.”

“Wow,” Myka’s smile grows wide, thinking back to where they were just three months ago, “you were undressing me with your eyes during Jeannie’s wedding, weren’t you?”

Helena is quiet and staring again.

“I’m not a toy, Helena.” Myka teases.

“Oh, shut your beautiful mouth.”

[aal-archaeology]

Summary of my first term of my Ph.D. at Stanford during a global pandemic and an extremely controversial election year (Anthropology, yr. 1, she/they, 25y/o) with some toggl data analysis

Well this year was a doozy if I don’t say so myself. But we survived it, and its okay if that’s all you were able to do this year because that’s enough.  As an offical 18th grader, I feel like I can speak pretty well to the toxicity of the academic environment. There is always a pressure to be working all of the time, people compete with each other with how few hours of sleep they got, every conversation with fellow students is just listing off all of the different assignemnts you have to do by the end of the week. On top of all of this, this is 2020. So, I decided that this year I’m going to give myself some mental slack. 

I decided that this is the year that I’m not going to try to impress anyone. I’m just going to survive and do what I have to do to move onto the next term. I think I did a pretty good job at that for the first term, so I’ll share a bit about what I observed in myself and those in my cohort. Coming into term one having to choose classes, many of my peers were packing their schedules full of 5 Unit seminars. For those who don’t know, theoretically, a 5 Unit course is supposed to take about 5-6 hours of work outside of class hours. For Stanford Anthropology, most PhD students take as close as they can to 18 credits, and anything over that you have to pay extra for the courses. Taking more courses doesn’t really put you any further ahead in terms of completing your degree, and you’re expected to complete about 45 Units each year for the first two years of the program. 

I decided to take 2 seminars (typical), a language course, and a couple filler credits that we are given the option to use if we need 1-3 units to hit 18 total. I,  fortunately, tracked every hour spent outside of the classroom working on each course using toggl (i highly reccomend): 

In a typical week, I spent about 5-6 hours/week outside of class on my Anthro seminars, and about 6-7 hours on Japanese. Japanese was a “for-fun” class so I would usually study more of that when I didn’t feel like reading dense archaeological theory. 

Toggl was a really cool way to see where I was spending too much, or not enough, time on my classwork. If it was taking me more than 1.5 hours to get through a single article, I knew I was probably spending too much time on it and should move on to the next thing. My goal for the term was to stay true to the 5 Unit idea of 5-6 hours, and not over-work myself. 

Toggl was also useful in tracking my mental health throughout the term, as it is very obvious to see when I just was not physically capable of ingesting 400 pages of reading. For example, election week:

Election week was really hard for me, and everyone else in the world honestly. I had various family things I was dealing with, typical existential dread, plus it was week 8-ish of the term when everything was already on fire in terms of workload. For one of my seminars (purple), we had to read a book for the following week which I was able to do the sundar after election day. However, for the days leading up to and surrounding the 4th, the only thing I could mentally handle was mindless Japanese vocab studying. One of my seminars really sufferend this week, and I straight up just didnt show up to the smaller Anth 310G class because I had only read the title of the pdf. Fortunately, I emailed my professor of my Theory class and was like “yo dude I cannot” and he replied that he understood and wouldnt call on me during that day of class. 

I didn’t do a whole lot of journalling at all this term, but for this week I just wrote “pain” on most days and then YAY BIDEN at the end of it. 

Weekly Schedule

Above is what a typical week looked like, some were a lot lot lot more dense, others not so much, but this was pretty average. Not all things on the calendar are work related, some are extra lectures from visiting professors that sounded interesting, or “Free Boba & Snacks Pick Up” put on by my residence. Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday were my big work days last term, where I didn’t have a whole lot of classes so I would do most of my reading then. On Tues and Thurs I had one 3-hour seminar, and M-F I had a 50 min Japanese class. 

I woke up every day around 7am-ish, made a green tea, and sat at the computer to work, filter through emails, etc. On particularily open days I would go grocery shopping, go for bike rides/walks around campus, go buy food/boba. 

On class-heavy days, I wouldn’t leave my computer for 8-12 hours, which is extremely ridiculous but that’s the new norm in school in 2020. This kind of stunk because all of the socializing was also on the computer, so even if I wasn’t working I was doing screen related things. 

EVERY day I stopped working at 6pm. Rarely did I do readings past 6pm unless I was really slacking somewhere. From 6pm onwards I would do things like play Among Us or League of Legends with my discord friends, eat, watch movies with my partner, etc. And then most nights I would try to be in bed by 12am at the latest. 

Social Life

Despite the online nature of things this term, I was suprisingly able to meet a lot of great people on campus. We were all being tested at least once a week, which made in person gatherings with 1-4 people a little less scary, especially when half of the people lived together in one household. 

In the first week of school, some of the grad programs put on a “speed friending” zoom event, where I was able to connect with two people really well. We ended up doing a “slow-friending” zoom event afterwards and then created a FB group chat and added all of the people we had met into it. The group ended up being about 15 people, and we would message the group for park hangouts, going to get food, or going on walks on campus. We also had a huge get together in a park for Mid-Autumn Festival, where we sat in a socially distanced circle, chatted, and ate mooncakes. 

Most of my socializing came from my online friends, and amongus was a huge savior to my mental health this term wher emy group would play literally every night. I also made a really good friend off of Bumble BFF this term, who I’ve hung out with a good amount for plant shopping and board games. 

I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can get tested for COVID on a days notice, and very grateful that I could use that to stay a little sane.  My Biggest Accomplishment this term, was not school related. but instead I hit my 365 DAY STREAK on duolingo. This was celebrated with cake. This streak has lived through literal hell and for that I am very proud. 

Overall reflection:

This term was super rough, there were a lot of days where I just napped through it and a lot of days where I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. However, I think the courseload that I took was very manageable and I’m going to continue to go light on myself in that regard. 

I really liked the boundaries that I set for myself this term, not working after 6pm and making time to do some fun things in the midst of chaos. I never felt like I was too far behind on work, or that I wasn’t doing enough, because I had a literal reminder in front of me that I had already put x amount of hours into something with toggl. 

Sometimes in class I would feel like I didn’t know how to productively contribute to conversation, but I think thats a skill that will get better over time and not being so great at it should especially be expected in the first term of a program.

Socially I met a lot of wonderful people who also made me feel more comfortable will myself. I started using She/They pronouns which feel really comforting to me. I made a lot of little origami cranes every time I was feeling sad. I drank a lot of boba. Watched a lot of She Ra. Played a lot of games. It all ended up being okay despite the weight of everything around me. 

I’m proud of all of you for making it through this year, I know it was really difficult for a lot of people in more ways than it was for me, but we’re still here! Sometimes all you can do it make it to the next day and thats such a big accomplishment on its own.  Please feel free to reach out with any questions about time-management, toggl, phd stuff in general, archaeology, etc! Always happy to help out. :’) Thanks for reading! Lyss

[jungshookz]

the one with the scrunchie

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; universitystudent!yoongiverse!!!!! uni!yoongi is the broody skater boy that everyone has a crush on!! y/n will never see her scrunchies in the same way ever again and also in case it wasn’t already blatantly obvious by the gif above this drabble is 98% smut and the other 2% is also smut (dirty talk! thigh riding! yoongi has really nice thighs!!!) 

➺ wordcount: 4.4k i feel like this is shorter than usual i’m soRry 

➺ summary; yoongi believes that one scrunchie is just as capable as a pair of handcuffs - it’s time to put that theory to the test. 

➺ what to expect; “i wouldn’t mind being more intimate with you but i don’t know how and also i’m just not ready to take my clothes off yet.”

➺ optional reading: not necessary but feel free to read some other drabbles from the uni!yoongiverse! 

➺ note; we all knew this was going to happen as soon as yoongi formulated the scrunchie theory so buCKLE up and be prepared!! happy valentine’s day!!! mwah mwah!!! (i couldn’t locate the original creator of the gif but it was pulled off of this pinterest page!) if you can guess which specific part of the drabble was inspired by the gif then i’ll give u a gold star 

                                           »»————-　♡　————-««

min yoongi does not beat around the bush

sure, he’s been known to be overly blunt and a little too honest at times (aka a little bit of an asshole) but that’s just part of who he is and that’s not going to change

he attacks problems head-on and with the confidence of a bull charging towards a waving red flag

and yet

here he is, with a problem

except this is the first time he’s ever had a problem with his problem

here’s the problem: ...he doesn’t know if you’re physically attracted to him or not 

whICH he understands is kind of silly because he knows you’re certainly not with him for his brains because his grades are mediocre at best

he’s riding the 70s-80s range which he’s completely fiNE with by the way

keep your judgements to yourself! 

what was he talking about again

oh righT

he feels like you don’T want him to touch you for some reason??

which is a teensy little problem because call him old fashioned but he thinks that people who are together should probably be okay with touching each other

obviously if you aren’t ready for anything more than kissing on the sofa and some light petting that is totally okay and he completely understands 

it’s just weird because you always seem very eager to touch him but when he gets his hands on you you get all bashful and blushy (which is cute for the most part but that’s not the point) 

whenever he wants to return the favour you always shake him off and tell him that he can help you out next time

and then when next time rolls around you tell him that he can do something next time

and then when next time rolls around you tell him that he can do something nExt time until it turns into an endless cycle of ‘it’s okay, you can return the favour next time!’ in which he’ll nEVer ever return the favour! 

and so on and so forth

also it’s weird because he doesn’t really know if he can even classify this as a problem?? 

for the millionth time in a row he’s totally 100% fine if you aren’t ready to do anything just yet but he wouldn’t be so riled up about it if it weren’t for the fact that your butt looks fantastic in those jeans  

he can’t help but wonder if it’s his time of the month because his hormones are raging and everything you do turns him on 

like the other day when you were eating your sandwich you licked some mayo off your finger and yoongi nearly [censored] 

is he just thinking with his head and not with his head???

now that he’s really thinking about it he realises that he’s never actually gotten you off before

wha-

he’s nEVER given you an orgasm????????

so yeah

that’s pretty much it

he’s boiled it down to you being completely rePULsed by him

it’s just been on his mind ever since the two of you officially got together and he doesn’t really know how to phrase this without sounding like a complete dick

he feels a little bad because he’s supposed to be paying attention to what you’re teaching him but his mind just won’t let him focus and he feels like if he doesn’t ask you this rigHt now he’s going to explode from the inside out

his arm shoots up in the air (you asked him to start raising his hand instead of just blurting out the answer even though he’s literally your only student)

“do you not like me touching you?” yoongi blurts out before pausing

…okay yeah there were probably a million better ways to have worded that question

you look up at yoongi with wide eyes as you stare at him across the table

ok

well

you don’t know what this has to do with chemistry but you’ll bite

“maybe i wasn’t clear enough-” you click the cap back onto the marker before setting it down “but when i asked you if you had any questions, i meant questions that were related to intermolecular forces or nuclear fusion.”  

…has he even been paying attention to anything you’ve been saying this whole time???

hm

you’re going to have to test him later with a surprise pOP quiz >:-)

“oh yeah well i have a toN of questions about whatever you were talking about but we’ll get to that after you answer my question.” yoongi drops his pen before leaning back against his chair “so, please - answer my question.”

“well, i… i have to be honest, i don’t really understand your question.” your brows knit together and you purse your lips in thought “of course i like you touching me! i mean, sure, i’m a little germaphobic but i hold your hand all the ti-“

“not like that, y/n. i mean the other kind of touching.” yoongi sighs and leans forward a little bit

you’re about to tell him you’re not sure what he means when it suddenly registers in your brain what exactly he’s referring to

oh

that kind of touching

well

you and yoongi have.,,. definitely.,. fooled around before but a lot of those interactions have been limited to heated makeout sessions anD that one time u gave him a blowie before class

and also that hand job in the back of the library

…and then another blowie back at your apartment

but other than that you guys haven’t done anything else

and it’s not that you don’t want to be intimate with yoongi

in fact you’d have to be craZy to not want to jump his bones buT the one thing that’s holding you back is that you’re just not ready to expose yourself to him like just yet

even the thought of flashing your bra strap to him is making you queasy

and it’s not because of anything he’s done!!

he’s always very considerate with you and he never pushes you to do anything that you don’t want to do

like that one time his hand was slowly sliding down to your butt (this was very early on when you two weren’t a thing yet but you had makeout sessions like a pair of hormonal teenagers) but you stopped it before it could reach its destination

and since then his hands have not wandered at all!

actually that’s a lie he did glide over your bum the other day but he’s allowed to do that now because he’s ur boyfriend so

and it’s not like you aren’t handsy yourself, miss let-me-slide-my-hands-underneath-yoongi’s-shirt

so if you think about you’re just doing a lot of giving and basically none of the receiving which you thought yoongi would be ecstatic about but apparently not

anyways

this is literally just a you thing

it’s a mixture of insecurity and anxiousness and overwhelmingness all rolled up into one big ball that’s just sitting in the pit of your stomach

you’re sure you’ll get over it one day

but today is not that day

“-because i’d love to go down on you if you’d let me.” yoongi finishes his rant and you feel your cheeks immediately redden

wha-  

what the heCk was he talking about when you blanked out

“no, i d- i do want to… do things with you but i… i don’t know, i would rather just keep my clothes on, that’s all.” you mumble sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

yoongi’s eyes widen a little and he perks up “so you… don’t mind me touching you?”

“of course i don’t mind you touching me.” you snort before rolling your eyes “anyway, as i was say-“

“as long as we keep our clothes on?”

you have a feeling yoongi is no longer focusing on chemistry

in fact you doubt he was even paying attention from the very beginning 

“i… yeah! pretty much.” you shrug “i just, um, i don’t know if i want any hands down my pants yet. hands on the butt is welcome.”

you probably sound like an idiot right now

you can’t do things with yoongi while fully cloTHED

“okay, i think i get it…?” yoongi narrows his eyes a little

uh oh

you recognise that look

that’s the ‘i’m just going to pretend like i know what you’re talking about but i actually have no idea what the hell you’re talking about’ look

you’ve seen it many times before

that’s fair though because you’re basically telling him you wanna do stuff with him but also you don’t wanna do stuff with him so how can you wrap up your main points in one single sentence??

“i wouldn’t mind being more intimate with you but i don’t know how and also i’m just not ready to take my clothes off yet.” you blurt out and keep your eyes glued to yoongi’s face to see if he gets it now

“oh!” yoongi lets out a ‘huh’ before nodding to himself “okay, i get it now. yeah, i totally understand. also, i hope it doesn’t seem like i’m pressuring you into anything, it’s just that this is my first time being with someone who doesn’t have a lot of experie- noT that that’s a bad thing, i just- you know, you’re you and i’m me- okay, uh, i’m not explaining this very well-“

now you’re the one who’s barely paying attention to the other because you are getting wAY too into your head about this

was your explanation super lame??

oh god

why are you so nervous all of a sudden

maybe you should come up with another excuse to make yourself sound less lame

“also, this might sound a little silly,” you snort and shake your head “but if you had your head in between my legs i honestly wouldn’t know what to do with my hands, and that’s just one more thing i’d have to worry about! so if you think about it maybe this is just a blessing in disguise!”  

yoongi pauses before the corner of his mouth twitches in a tiny smirk

“i could cuff you to the bed.”

oh dear lord

you feel your cheeks get even reDDer and you clear your throat before whipping back around to face the whiteboard “so! let’s get back into it…”

in your haste to change the subject you fail to notice the ‘i have a very sneaky plan up my sleeve’ look on yoongi’s face

so from what he understands:

a) you DO want to be more intimate with him (yay!!) (but a respectful, non-selfish yay)

b) you DO want to keep your clothes on

c) you DON’T know what to do with your hands

okay

he can work with that

he can definitely work with that

yoongi presses his lips together to hide his smile when it hits him

he knows exactly what to do

fun fact: yoongi has actually never celebrated valentine’s day before

well

okay

he haS celebrated valentine’s day before but this is the first time he’s actually cared about valentine’s day

and usually he forgets that valentine’s day exists (he really doesn’t understand why it’s so special) so when his previous significant others would ask him what he got for them his go-to was aLways something related to the bedroom because it was kind of an easy way out and made both parties happy

and he’s never stuck around to celebrate more than one valentine’s day with the same person which is pretty nice because that way he can’t be accused of recycling gift ideas

anyways

what was he talking about again?

oh riGHt

valentine’s day presents

not only did he surprise you but he also surprised himSelf when he bought a dozen red roses for you AND a box of bougie chocolate covered strawberries

because he’s literally never done this before so he decided that if he was going to go all out it was going to be for someone he genuinely really liked

and that person is u :-)

and then he made a comment about how valentine’s day is really just part of the whole ‘gross commercialisation of a day that really has no meaning to it’ scheme before presenting you with a brand new scrunchie

and it wasn’t the gorgeous roses or the rich chocolate that got you excited

it was your brand new heart-patterned scrunchie

the base is white but it has little red hearts dotted all over it and it’s the cuTEST and you immediately put it on as soon as yoongi gave it to you

he ordered it off etsy!! anD he paid for express shipping

and if that doesn’t show you how much he cares about you he doesn’t know what will

and you know what

yoongi would buy you a hundred more scrunchies because you are all over him right now and he is very into that

also it might be due to the fact that the chocolate-covered strawberries were actually champagne infused chocolate-covered strawberries (he was wondering why they were so exPENSIVE) because he can usually hold himself back pretty well (aka after a particularly heated makeout session he’ll politely excuse himself to the washroom for ten minutes even though you always insist on helping him out but most of the time he declines because he wants to return the favour but he can’T) but tonight.,.,. 

tonight he’s putting in extrA effort to keep it together because you slid his hands down to your bum and he nearly lost his shIT

here’s a sum-up of the night:

yoongi took you out to a nice dinner even though you insisted you’d be fine with ordering takeout or something (also he wore a crisp white button up but he rolled the sleeves up and you sweAR he knows exactly what he’s doing)

you guys went to a little donut shop afterwards and you got powdered sugar all over yourself but c’est la vie

and now you two are at your apartment where you decided to binge-watch netflix for the rest of the night and enjoy the chocolate-covered strawberries

and well

only half the box of strawberries have been consumed because now the two of you are kind of focused on enjoying each other

your hands instinctively slide down to pop the button on yoongi’s jeans but before they get a chance to reach it yoongi grabs your wrist and brings your arms back up around his neck  

“you know how you said you wanted to be more intimate with me but you didn’t know how?”

you clear your throat before pursing your lips

if this is him talking dirty it’s not working  

“…are you talking about the conversation we had at the beginning of last week?” you wonder out loud before shaking your head gently “yoongi, listen, it really isn’t a big deal, you don’t have to do anything for me-“

“and do you remember what you said about not knowing what to do with your hands?” yoongi interrupts you and his eyes flicker up to the scrunchie peeking out from the back of your head

“well, yeah, but- is there a point to all of this?” you sigh before leaning forward to smush your cheek against yoongi’s shoulder

“do you trust me?” yoongi hums and pokes the tip of your nose

“of course i trust you.”

also

unrelated but you need a pick me up

another one of those strawberries will do

you’re going to ask yoongi to get these evEry valentine’s day because they are obscenely delicious

you pull away from yoongi and turn to reach for another strawberry and at the same time yoongi reaches over and tugs the scrunchie off from your head 

“wha- hey!” you whip around as your hair falls around your face before noticing that yoongi’s giving your scrunchie a bit of a stretch “what do you think you’re doing?”

yoongi can’t help but laugh lightly at your pouty face before he pats his lap “i want you here.”

yoongi’s speaking to you a little more assertively than usual anD he has that familiar gleam in his eyes 

hm

okay

you’ll play along 

the strawberries can wait

you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as you settle on yoongi’s lap before resting your hands on his chest to keep yourself from toppling over

“good. now arms behind your back.”

your brows knit together slightly in confusion but you figure it’s best not to question yoongi because he seems pretty sure of himself

and you sure as hell have no idea what’s about to go down

this is weird

usually you’re the one in control

you feel like you want to fill the silence by talking about something and for some reason you can hear your heart drumming wildly in your chest even though you don’t have a reason to be nervous

...right? 

yoongi reaches behind you and pulls your hands through the scrunchie before moving them gently so that one wrist is crossed over the other and-

oh

oh

you can’t seem to wiggle out of the scrunchie

“not too tight?” yoongi murmurs

you shift your hands a little

yep 

definitely noT getting out of this any time soon 

“i can handle it.” you respond quietly and yoongi feels himself twitch in his pants

noPe

tonight is not about him

tonight is about you

you’ve never been restrained like this before but the idea of yoongi being completely in control is getting you far more riled up than you’d like to admit

“if at any point you feel uncomfortable,” yoongi murmurs against your skin as he moves his kisses up your chest, “the safe word is strawberry.”

“mhm, strawberry, got it.” you sigh impatiently, barely paying any attention to what yoongi’s saying because his mouth has travelled up onto your bare neck  

“good. on my thigh.” yoongi spreads his legs a little and you feel your heart hiccup in your chest

oh

you know exactly where this is going

you wobble slightly as your knees settle on the soft couch on either side of yoongi’s clothed thigh and yoongi smiles fondly

“comfy?”

“mhm.”

unsurprisingly, yoongi’s thigh is vEry firm  

it’s from all that skateboarding

you’re sure of it

you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little worked up from the ten minutes of copious kissing but now that you’re sitting on yoongi’s thigh you can definitely confirm that you are: worked up

yoongi places his hands on your waist and pulls you closer until your torso is pressed against his 

typically this would be the point where you drape your arms around yoongi’s shoulders but the fact that you can’t do that right now is torture and yoongi can see the frustration swimming in your eyes

you’re about to tell him to do something, anything, before he suddenly pushes your hips back and flexes his thigh at the same time

you let out a gasp when your body instinctively spasms a little bit out of surprise

that is definitely a new feeling

it’s a very good thing you decided to wear a skirt tonight

a pitiful whimper slips past your lips at the feeling of the rough fabric of yoongi’s jeans rubbing up against you through your panties

“like that?” yoongi pulls you towards him and then backwards again and he swallows thickly when he notices how blown out your pupils are

now that you know what yoongi’s plan is, your body seems to go into autopilot mode

you start moving on your own as your muscles begin to melt into him but yoongi’s hands stay glued on your hips as he guides you back and forth

the two of you share licking, burning kisses as you continue to ride yoongi’s leg and yoongi lets out a grunt when your knee digs into his crotch

“y/n, fuck-“ yoongi pulls away when you do it again

he can’t tell if you’re doing it on purpose or if it’s unintentional but he has to shift the focus bAck to you

yoongi takes his bottom lip in between his teeth as he watches you grind your hips back and forth with hooded lids

his hands slide down so that they rest on either side of your thighs

he lets out a low groan when he realises that this would be his exact view if you were actually riding him

“yoongi-“ you hiccup pathetically when you feel that particular spot within you flutter

your nails dig into the soft flesh of your palms when you suddenly feel the urge to get your hands on your boyfriend

yoongi’s mouth twitches in a smirk when he notices your shoulders straining

it looks like his makeshift handcuffs are working veRY well

he’s definitely going to use them again in the future

“something the matter?” yoongi mocks with a slight pout of his lips

“god, you- this was the worst idea ever and i hate you-“ you shudder as you continue grinding against his firm leg

you can’t even find the words to describe how incredible this feels and the only thing going through your mind is fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck because fuCK this feels good

“oh yeah? show me how much you hate me-“ yoongi’s hands find their way underneath your skirt and his fingers dig into your bum to bring you closer to him

he has to admit that he’s losing his grips on the reins a little bit because the more you grind against him the more turned on he gets

and he is currently very, very turned on

you’re riding his leg anD your boobs are like right at his eye-level so he’s kind of living the dream right now

but also in a way he’s torturing himself too because he usually loves it when you slide a hand down his chest or when you bury your fingers into his hair

“fuck, i can feel how wet you are-” yoongi groans just under your ear and you let out a choked moan in response 

you never thought something like this would be as hot as it is but also it’s the idea of you being bare on his leg that’s making the two of you go crazy

another wave of pleasure tremors through your body and your head dips back as yoongi kisses up your throat

“that’s it… you’re so pretty like this… so needy…” yoongi curses quietly when he notices the darkened patch on his jeans

he slips an arm around your waist to keep you balanced and he uses his other hand to take your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger so that you’ll look at him

“god, look at you… you’re doing so well…” yoongi knows that getting approval is something that’s verY important to you but he’s only seen you get excited over it when it comes to projects and assignments

and you obviously want to hear another remark of approval considering the way you start to roll your hips more smoothly

but it’s when you take his thumb into your mouth that yoongi ascends to a whole new level of turned on

he leans back against the couch and his hands start to forcefully guide your hips so that you’re rocking against him harder, faster

“yoongi, i think- nngh-“ you pant and your shoulders strain even more in a desperate attempt to wiggle out of the scrunchie “oh, god-“

he can tell by the way your breathing has become increasingly shallow and how your cheeks have gotten progressively pinker that you’re almost there and he’s definitely going to keep this image of you in his brain for a long time

“gonna cum for me?” yoongi growls as his hands grip at your ass to mould you to him

you head starts spinning from pleasure and you feel every nerve in your body begin to go into overdrive

all you can focus on is how good this feels and how hot it is that yoongi’s in complete control over you and how you are definitely going to want to do this again-

“you have no idea how badly i wanna fuck you right now.” yoongi groans and thAt pretty much does the the trick

“ah-!” you let out a sharp cry as your whole body tenses up as your orgasm rocks through you

your toes curl and your legs tighten around yoongi’s thigh and you sweAr you would’ve blacked out if it weren’t for yoongi keeping you anchored to him while pressing reassuring kisses along your shoulder

he has his arm wrapped around you while his other hand loosens its grip on the side of your thigh

you’re panting like you just ran a marathon and you lean forward to press your forehead against yoongi’s “hi.”

“hey.” yoongi’s out of breath too but he has no idea why lol

if anything, seeing you work through your orgasm has gotten him even harDer but he reminds himself for the millionth time that the purpose of this whole scrunchie thing was so that you’d be more comfortable being intimate with him

“how was that?”

“really nice.” you respond almost instantaneously and yoongi feels a sense of pride bloom within him

you’re not the only one who likes getting approval!!!

he reaches behind you and pulls the scrunchie off and placing it next to him

your wrists have gone a little pink considering how much tugging you did and yoongi brings them up to his mouth to sweep soft kisses over them

your cheeks flush for a different reason when yoongi leans up to give you an affectionate little kiss

when you finally drape your arms around his shoulder you can’t help but let out a happy sigh

now thIS feels a lot better

“you okay?” yoongi can’t help but notice that you’ve gone quiet

“…was the purpose of buying the scrunchie for me just so you could turn them into makeshift handcuffs?” your eyes narrow suspiciously and you glance down at the scrunchie

yoongi turns to look at it before looking back over at you

he clears his throat

“if i say yes does that make me a bad boyfriend?”

(later that night you tell yoongi you’d like to try grinding on him again - only this time, you’ve requested that he have his hands tied.) 

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