#no other characters stand up and say it's bad bc the STORY IS A SOCIAL CRITIQUE. the other characters are the ones being portrayed as wrong

[iamnmbr3]

Wow. Just saw a critique of a story that deals with the topic of ableism saying that it is ableist since it depicts the central character being persecuted because of a disability but never has any of the other characters say that the ableism is wrong.

Like the argument is literally that because the sympathetic main character is persecuted due to a disability but none of the other characters turn to the metaphorical camera and are like "oh this is actually ableist and bad" somehow the creator is condoning that behavior instead of critiquing it. Even though that CLEARLY was not the intent.

Critical thinking skills really are dead huh? When will people learn that depicting something is not the same as condoning it?!

[butterfly-ribbon]

thinking about the kamikou festival event again and how it conveys the tone and atmosphere of the school while showing the constant transmisogyny microaggressions mizuki lives with every day so well, and this phone call with an drives me insane bc even though an is genuinely well-meaning and is trying to ensure that mizuki knows that today is a safe day for her to come to school due to the circumstances of the festival, the way she words this is very discomforting bc she's basically saying "nobody is going to notice that you're dressed as a girl today bc everyone is wearing wacky outfits!" which carries the unfortunate implication that the way mizuki presents herself is equally wacky in a way that reinforces everything ppl say about her, but this isn't easy for her to push back against bc she doesn't have a good enough 'excuse' to do so when this is one of the few ppl who go out of their way to accommodate her even if they don't fully get it? it's thoughtful of an to want to reassure her but also it's another little thing that others fail to understand. she's trying to be kind but even then mizuki feels somewhat pushed into a corner. she's very bad at actively saying No. and an has removed her ability to misdirect here bc an is speaking with ambiguity.

mizuki also being too anxious about the idea of changing her clothes in school bc she's terrified of the possibility of being caught and thus having her body perceived by others... that's also another reason she'd hate being at school. gym and changing for it … i'd wager mizuki skips almost every gym class bc she can't stand the idea of being forced to change amidst boys, but she's also not allowed into the girls' locker room… literally only has the option to go to the roof if she wants to change. she's so hyper cognizant of her body and being seen … and the worst part is, she likes to be seen under her own circumstances and control (which is one of the many reasons she's very passionate abt fashion, and a lot of trans ppl in fiction tend to have an attachment to fashion and styling which makes a lot of sense bc of the element of control over one's appearance and making a self one can love). she really does. it just … happens that she knows she has so little control.

i've read the vbs main story (and a bit of their events but i need to continue whoops) and this makes me appreciate mizuki's brief interaction with kohane and an here more, bc it's obvious in this moment that kohane is just being her usual self—anxious around other ppl she's not familiar with and this is something she wants to improve upon (which as far as i can tell is the conceit of her character arc as an underdog of sorts compared to the others in her group). but mizuki assumes that she has to be uncomfortable with her specifically (presumably due to her transness) bc of her experiences, so she immediately feels bad about 'taking up space' and decides to make up an excuse to get away from the situation to give kohane the chance to comfortably hang out with her friend. and the fact that mizuki goes out of her way to say that she's going to find a place to hide alone is interesting bc the way it's framed it doesn't sound like it means much, but it feels deliberate on her part, like she wants an to know... mizuki's internal world and where we see she has internal bias and how she blames herself or assumes she herself is the problem if she can't make others comfortable, and she takes so much upon herself all the time bc she's used to constant microaggressions and either can't say how she truly feels or has to divest what she feels from its context to make it palatable. but of course kohane is not transphobic, she is someone who has trouble socializing with strangers bc of her own anxiety that has nothing to do with mizuki herself, but mizuki doesn't have access to this perspective like the reader so it's easy for her to assume that she's the problem. it's paranoia but it's understandable considering how she's treated by almost everyone...

[aghostwithnoname]

Okay it's been about two weeks to cook on my initial reaction to finishing DATV, and I feel like, for the most part, it still stands?

Like smooches to all the companions - you're not really the problem in this. I also love my Rook. Adore you, Taash and Davrin extra special. Assan, my son, my beloved, you are perfect.

But aside from diehard DA fans either defending or detracting Veilguard within an inch of their lives, imo the defining problem of the game is sets up these interesting, compelling, and tasty conflicts we've come to expect with the franchise but instead of like, you know, delivering on that, playing out that tension, eking it out for angst, lols, rage, and tears, asking serious moral quandaries of the player... they just… resolve them? create false equivalencies? say "here is your choice - it will have consequences!" but really the outcome is mostly the same?

So yeah, it's really just a lack of stakes on anything and everything important. And I think that's a missed opportunity as a writer myself - bc while some people may see the removal of real world social ills in a fantasy setting as being more "inclusive" (a take I as a person with multiple marginalized identities don't really understand and frankly sounds to me like some corporate BS), what BioWare really is doing is attempting to rebrand its signature series into something it isn't : a world without complication or friction or messy realities.

The Bad Guys are literally straight up Evil - the Good Guys are So Good. Whether you choose to doom Treviso or Minrathous, the idea that the Crows are no longer being child-enslaving assassin mafia houses (Rip Zevran and your revenge), the fact BioWare completely avoided any depictions or barely mentioned the horrible mistreatment and enslavement of the elves in Tevinter, even going so far as to paint the elves as partially at fault for that bc of their shitty gods??? (good lord, there's too much to unpack there), nothing truly matters.

DA was never just simplistic, good vs evil fantasy, so why start now?

Like any good storyteller knows that stories are fundamentally about change whether that's changing a society or your own personal mindset. And more often than not, conflict is a result of that! Change is hard! Some people don't like change! That's not to say conflict must be physical or violent - sometimes the most interesting stories are ones where the hero is a different person that the one they started out as.

DATV literally changed so much about the lore and mechanics of the world (which okay fine), but everybody just rolled with the punches like it was nothing. Like, for ex, "The Maker doesn't exist and Andraste is Mythal"??? Damn son, you just got proof that literally thousands of years of abusive religious dogma that has been used to terrifying discriminatory ends in both the North and South of Thedas is a lie. And everyone just accepts that????

And for some of us who experience and live with discrimination every day, who come from abusive families, and are religious trauma survivors, part of the appeal of previous Dragon Age games, for me, is that it didn't run away from those issues. It made characters like me human and fallible where at the end of the day, yeah you can end the Fifth Blight but there is no right answer to who should rule Ferelden bc monarchy is a fucked up system that ruins everyone's lives - here is the quintessential "Chosen One" archetype who doesn't fucking want to be chosen (DAO); no you can't always save the world (re: Kirkwall) and those you love, and violent change of an abusive system can also blow up in your face (DA2), and no you're not in control of how other people perceive you, especially in how celebrity and status can dehumanize you to a point where you don't even recognize yourself (DAI). Like you could still be a hero in these games without being perfect. Whereas with DATV, I just felt... nothing. Like, it was a fun way (sometimes, not Weisshaupt jfc) to spend 80 hours. I learned that Solas and Mythal are even more horrible that I could possibly imagine.

but I didn't feel like Veilguard left me with anything like catharsis so I could go back and face the Merediths and Venatori and Loghains of the real world. it was just that - you defeated the Bad Guys! Game Over. Here's Varric Mufasa'ed in the sky (so very sad). Talk about a totally ridiculous misuse of the One Guy whose whole shtick is how you can use narrative as a weapon.

These are just my thoughts, and ofc everyone's allowed to like or dislike the game as they please, but I don't feel like it's appropriate to give Bioware (and their shitty treatment of their creative team) a free pass on a frankly subpar narrative ten years in the making that did not deliver the emotional beats it was meant to.

[claraxbarton]

hi :)) just wanted to stop by to say I appreciate you for your decision re: MT as someone who was also disappointed but not totally surprised by his implicit/explicit support of Trump. Wondering if you could speak a little bit more on your thoughts about engaging with hrpf knowing that the majority of players are conservative (at best, fascist at worst) even if they never outwardly share that on social media. It’s something I’ve been struggling with lately in the wake of the election, and I’m curious what yours (and others) thoughts are on this? I’m personally finding it harder and harder to separate the art from the artist of it all. thanks in advance bc I really do admire you and your writing (hrpf and beyond !!)

Hey friend,

So I’ve gotten a few asks along similar lines. I’m not going to answer all of the asks in my inbox about this because, well, it’s going to be repetitive. So me choosing this one over others- I’m not ignoring you, other ppeople who asked, I’m just responding here.

I want to start by saying I don’t have an answer. Truly, I don’t have a good response to this. But you asked for my thoughts so I will share those.

-I try to think of hockey as another tv show - one I get to very rarely see in person - and to that effect, these people are characters in one of my favorite tv shows. I’ve said previously that my approach to hrpf if is ‘inspired by’ - none of the characters I write have more than a passing resemblance to the real hockey humans.

-my hockey background is weird. As an American, I didn’t grow up around it except that my childhood babysitter played in the AHL (he never made it to the NHL, but he taught me how to skateboard and became a mechanic). I didn’t give a shit about hockey for years and then in the last few got back/into it. I didn’t care about the Panthers at all until summer 23 when I learned about MT - by which I mean I learned there was a guy who said my locker room is for everyone and was also a agitator. So, maybe I’m taking this as more of a hit because my favorite character turned out to be a fascist when he was presented to me as an ally.

- I think it’s fair to assume malicious negligence from all rich people. That’s the end of that thought.

-I recognize that I’m in a position of privilege and that allows me to extend a certain amount of grace - if someone has presented themselves as an ally (anti-homophobic, ant-racist, anti-sexist, anti-ableist), then I’m going to think of that ‘character’ as a n okay person until they prove me otherwise.

-I think it’s worth reminding folks that Braden Holtby, Devante Smith-Pelly and Brett Connolly exist. There are probably more genuinely good guys who use their position of privilege to actually take a stand but those are top of my mind for the obvious reasons.

-I mentioned this in my note on the fics, but it’s the same as with JKR and Harry Potter things in some ways - engage with it because you want to give her a big fuck you and because you find joy and comfort in the thing and don’t want her to take that away from you.

-I don’t want to imply in any way that there is a right or a wrong way to engage with hrpf or rpf. There are people for whom rpf is a hard nope, there are people whose favorite genre of fiction is rpf. As long as we can all agree there is a separation from reality and fiction.

-I think these people’s real, private, personal lives should be treated as such and every human deserves privacy and respect and sympathy as a human navigating this trashfire late-stage capitalist world. But when someone uses their public brand (the one they make money from, the one they present to their fans for monetary reward) - then that is using their privilege for good or bad and that’s something I have strong opinions on.

-someone left a comment to one of my fics that related the thoughts of another hrpf author who stopped writing a certain character. In summary: they stopped writing ovechkin fic because someone commented that their stories made them like ovi more. So yes, there’s the dissociation of fiction and the ‘inspired by’ character from real life - but there’s also the reality that fiction can influence our perceptions on reality. And I think this is where I’m coming to rest with all of this - I’m not comfortable putting time and energy into a fictional MT and have that in any way encourage anyone to shrug off or ignore or excuse a fascist who is using his position and fame to make money off of people via endorsements and other direct means while his politics lead to the disenfranchisement, harm and deaths of others.

-and just… seriously, supporting fascism because of ignorance is still supporting fascism. An ignorant fascist is still a fascist.

So. Those are my thoughts.

Tl;dr : I don’t know. Fascism is bad. I’m not going to write characters based on fascists ( or racists or rapists)

[just-jae]

Random Naruto rewrite ideas bc tumblr is my journal now and im feeling creative but lazy.

{Inspired by the original premise of the story (or maybe it was just an in-show rumor, memory fuzzy)} Genderswap Naruto's parents, have Kurama actually be Naruto's dad, and give Kurama a human form. His mom is the Kazekage who at first kept having to fight Kurama until the fox spirit developed a scheme to seduce her into lowering her guard. It ended up back firing bc he actually fell in love with her, but, long-story short it doesn't end well for either of them.

When Kurama's chakra leaks out it's usually linked to rage and muddies Naruto's own emotions with Kurama's hatred for Konoha and humans in general.

Naruto uses his knack for transformation jutsus to "become someome else" so often that its practically a habit. He even tries to introduce himself to his team under a guise that quickly gets blown, amd is often caught entering a village in a different form or shifting when he gets in trouble.

Overtime Naruto learns to live as himself and exercise his right to live his own life in Konoha. He also learns to accept both the good and the bad about his origins, as he learns to do the same for others.

Also he grows out his hair over time. no way this wild child is gonna mind cutting his hair. So he ends up resembling Jiraya in that regard, like, Jiraya with a beard or somethin.

Sakura is a plain old normie, who's more down to earth. She still starts off a bratty know-it-all, but once she gets out of her social competition mindset, her virtues as an intelligent, adaptible, hard worker with a knack for genjutsu and medical ninjutsu start to shine. I actually like the idea that she occassionally goes off and does her own thing to accelerate her improvement without Sasuke or Naruto there to do all the heavy lifting, not only so that she's better help to her team but also so she stands a chance against more vicious ninja if she ends up on her own. Her fighting style is inspired by the Black Tiger Fist. She also takes after Kakashi in learning many different kinds of jutsu, even finding ways to pull off chakra-heavy jutsu by basically performing a lesser version. Her fireballs may not be as hot as Sarutobi's but she can still do them, and it comes in handy.

Shiore and her team are reoccuring characters, could be any role tbh. I just wanna see more of them. Maybe they end up "conveiniently" bumping into certain teams during missions or training. They exchange information through careful small talk to track the worldly news, influence eventsin their favor and watch their own backs, but they aren't necessarily friends or enemies.

Rock Lee is the main character, and wears black or dark green/blue clothes that resemble historical ninja attire. On top of being a taijutsu specialist he also is a history nerd who is very proud of Konoha.

Mix up their Adult heights ya? Like, some short folks and some tall folks. Built folks and lanky folks. Choji and Hinata should not be the only ones with a distinct body types.

Sasuke, as a kid actually wants nothing to do with ninjas, he's enrolled bc he's an orphan, and an Uchiha, but he's "scheming" to somehow get out of it, and in the meantime makes sure he's really good at his job so that he can rank up faster and have more say in where he goes/what he does.

Has PTSD.

Kakashi, unintentionally ends up being like an older brother or father figure to Sasuke, they have a falling out at some point bc Kakashi is also an actual mess, but they reconcile eventually and help eachother get through the bullshit of the ninja world.

The Sharingan is a lot more limitied, like, it just tracks faster movements and effects people's perception of reality (genjutsu). That's it.

Hinata and Neji wear kimonos at first, like the rest of their clan, then wear more deviating clothing later (or maybe Neji keeps wearing the kimono)

The Byakugan is like rolling a 10 on perception. They're the eyes of Konoha, and on top of seeing physical weak spots and points to exploit, the Hyuuga also tend to attack their opponents psychologically. Some even think they're telepaths. In general, its very difficult to hit a Hyuuga, genjutsu a Hyuuga, and stay indifferent to a hyuuga when they try to get in your head. It makes them hard to trust even when they're nice. so their members are easily socially isolated from the rest of Konoha.

Neji was actually planted on Tenten's team to gather info on the Senju Clan. (I love the Tenten is Senju theory) but he ends up learning more about them from Lee.

Hinata has black hair.

Kiba's and Akamaru are inspired by the Shiba Inu dog breed. Members of their Clan don't normally become ninjas, they're more or less just doing their own thing , but Kiba's calm and reserved personality and skills made him ideal for spying/tracking, so some Konoha officials pull some strings to get him on a reconnaissance team. He's still very dog like, but he's a silent deadly dog and ends up adopting his team as his packmates- very protective of them.

Akamaru is a normal sized dog... with a shiba inu based design.

The sand siblings start out as evil bullies and end up as friendly bullies, but they keep their rough edges well into adulthood bc why wouldn't they?

After Gaara gets beat up by Naruto, at first he's pissed. But then, as he's processing the encounter he ends up misinterpreting it as "use other people for your own gain" its only after some life happens and mayne a few more bumps into Naruto that he actually understands that the point is wanting to protect people you love.

He also ends up becoming more expressive since he develops an interest in actually interacting with people beyond killing people and following orders. Gaara still comes off as an asshole but that's just his Suna accent (yes I headcannon that Suna are generally a bunch of disconnected assholes- like, Kankuro was about to beat up a toddler for fun just for bumping into him. And he's the Kazekage's son lol.)

There would be more elaboration on Suna's rag-tag nature and instability. They may even go through a political recession/collapse after the failed attack of Konoha- especially if other enemies-- the ones that put pressure on them, see it as an opportunity to scamble them like eggs.

Um... *twaddle's fingers*.

Juugo's power isn't a Clan thing, but an anomoly. Like a mutation or some sort, probably caused by some spirit or jutsu gone wrong. Like a tragic wish story or somthin.

UUmm.

Itachi's deal is that he left Konoha after processing the fact that he was so indoctinated as an Anbu that he actually killed his own family just to stop a suspected uprising. So he goes "eyo fuck this" and leaves Konoha with a deep hatred for his home village.

The Akatsuki are just a gang of rougue cimminals who agree not to bother eachother or rat eachother out, most end up teaming up for common interests and its usually an ironic pair. Itachi didn't want to join at first, but his fish pal happens to be part of the group and when confronted by them he ends up accepting the ring begrudgingly.

UM...

Occasionally senseis exchange footnotes or team up/temporarily swap out, to allow certain members to bemefit from a sensei that specializes in their stregnth. Like Kurenai being a good genjutsu teacher for Sakura, or Asuma being a good kaijutsu teacher for Tenten, Might Gai could help Sakura with her taijutsu. it would also contribute to the theme of interconnectedness. This wouldn't even be a formal process, just something the senseis figure to do on their own bc its good for their students.

Also Senseis' night out.

[mostlikelytofangirl]

Hey hey hey do you have any thoughts on WRH and ruoyao that you'd care to share

Asdfghjkdfgh w-why yes, I may have one or ten thoughts about them, hi!! Thank you for unleashing my unhingedness :'D

Btw I'm gonna be using mostly the novel for reference here.

So, WRH. First of all, I'd have liked canon info of him, and I know he's just there to fulfil the role of the evil villain during the first part of the story, but I have honestly come to enjoy his character and how ridiculously OP and unapologetic he is. Just a good old classic bad guy that thrives being one.

That being said, I do like that the few info we have also shows that he can care about others. It's very rare and god knows what even are his standards or requirements for that, but something I have discussed with others before is how little he seemed to care about social conventions of his time, like the fact that both MY and WQ were high ranking members of the sect because of their talent and capabilities, and despite being a son of a prostitute and a woman, respectively.

In this vein, i think CQL did him a great diservice putting her and WN in pretty much a hostage situation. That's not to say that he would have take kindly to that branch of the family going against him, but there's a difference between betrayal and actively harming valuable elements for no reason.

(Also the fact that donghua made him a DILF lol)

NOW, going back to the matter of MY, it is very much stated in the book itself that when every other servant had to fall to their knees in WRH's presence, MY was allowed to remain standing and look him in the eye. I know this was just to show how good a job he did earning WRH's trust but asdfghjsdfghj it still does things to my brain!!!

Just how impressed and pleased was WRH with MY to allow him to be so close and take so many liberties??? Also when NMJ was captured and MY was taunting him, WRH intervened when it seemed like NMJ could harm MY. LIKE. I think we can all agree that WRH would be very capable of just letting a random drone be killed for his entertainment, but ACTUALLY and ACTIVELY getting MY out of harm's way??? And they even joked about that together afterwards AAAAHHHH!!!

LISTEN

I don't think it's a stretch to assume that WRH could have seriously considered MY as his new heir since his sons were dead. I mean, the guy probably thought that he would live forever but STILL. And in any case... MY could have been Wen furen.

Like. C'mon!! MY is the poster child of daddy issues (alongside JC), you telling me that he wouldn't have thrived with an older man that recognized his talent and encouraged his natural drive and ambition instead of looking down on him for not staying as the bottom feeder he was "born" to be??? If MY would have changed sides, they would have conquered the world!! And THAT'S what I love so much about this ship!!

Ok, I'm a crazy allyao multishipper, but I have a HUGE soft spot for the ship that would have given MY everything he wanted: safety, power, recognition and care without him having to either give up his ambitions or turn the other cheek and be diplomatic bc society was never going to see him as a worthy person. But as the partner of WRH??? No one would ever be so stupid as to look at him weird ever again!! That's something no other ship can do for him: give him the head of anyone who disrespects him or his mom!!

Also there's this post iirc about how the good guy love interest would always choose what's right over you, but a bad guy love interest would set the world on fire for you and honestly? My poor little meow meow deserves that level of insane devotion after everything he had to go through and how devoted he can be in turn ;u;

[adamsvanrhijn]

i think thomas' story may be more immediately sympathetic because he's this guy with nothing who just really wants to survive, whereas one of oscar's primary goals is not just to survive (which like. is clearly one of his goals! not just continuing being rich but avoiding reputational death and ostracism for himself and his family) but also to get a bunch more money so he can continue living a life of immense luxury. however i get the hunch that oscar dislikers probably are not also thomas fans (tell me if im wrong?) so i don't think it's just that. you're so right that thomas gives the viewer a lot of space to imagine his motivations though and leeway for interpretation. this is kind of getting off the oscar train, but i recently read the well of loneliness and felt like in many ways, the way radclyffe hall describes the main character's constant sense of being apart and separate and how she always feels like she's being laughed at or mocked even when she is not (there's this really affecting scene where she's on a hunt and starts to envision herself as the fox), which makes it very hard for her to essentially show off her good qualities when she's interacting with "straight society." i thought that this is essentially thomas' mindset and situation that drives his bad decision-making. the well of loneliness is definitely coming from that tradition of the gay person as part of a "third sex" (hall's words) that is forced to stand apart and is alienated bc of their intrinsic difference. oscar as a character is nothing like this because he doesn't have this conception of his sexuality or himself as an "other," which is explicitly discussed in the show to their credit!! but is perhaps still hard for the modern viewer who thinks about sexuality in terms of identity to relate with. i'm sorry about this super long ask lol i'd put it in the replies but my replies are broken </3

oh yes absolutely i think that in general the class aspect is Huge — both of them are, for most modern viewers i would expect, at two ends of the spectrum with lots of associated social ideas that serve the perception of their character — generally not in oscar's favor but not necessarily in thomas's either! like i think you're right that thomas is more sympathetic in general for his social position and what he does and doesn't Have, and i suspect the authorial intent is for viewers to feel that way given how thomas is presented literally from day one... but at the same time, on the flip side, a lot of people perceive thomas the same way that in the show, the others at downton abbey do: that his unwillingness to Know His Place is something worthy of criticism, and that he thinks he is entitled to things he doesn't really deserve, and that he should be able to settle for what he has and any desire not to do this is unreasonable or unrealistic of him and unlikely to turn out in his favor—and that is a sentiment that even devout thomas fans have aligned with as well.

some of those thomas fans have been vocal about their distaste for oscar.

i haven't read the well of loneliness in a very very long time but that's a compelling comparison — i mean da 2.02 alone speaks volumes about how thomas sees himself and his position in the world, and i think that aligns with what you're saying here.

i also think when we talk in terms of identity and self-definition, oscar is an interesting position in that, as you say, he doesn't conceptualize himself and his behavior as being intrinsic to his sense of self, and resists this when it is posed to him, but...

practically, he clearly does recognize that he is in a particular position that is related to his feelings and his behavior! "plenty of men have had to make exactly the same decision; they can't all be wretched" (not an exact quote i cba to look it up) in 1.03 i would say is the first instance of this, and then of course we have the everything of 1.08 — his calling out the difference between what he is doing and what he isn't doing, and recognition of the social consequences of this. like i think oscar is very careful not to other [verb] himself... but he is very extremely aware of how he might be othered by those in his community whose good opinion matters for him to lead the life he wants to lead. it's not quite that the box doesn't exist; the box does exist and he wants to stay away from it at all costs, while at the same time wanting to live his life in a way that is comfortable for him.

there's the material piece of that of course but also like... oscar is choosing to make choices that are likely to result in his being perceived a certain way. could he not Simply Not Do That? it's an interesting dimension to his character that clearly the answer for him is no, he can't just Not Do That (and as gay people all the world over know, it's not simple or easy to compromise yourself that way at all), while he also very desperately wants to have and exceed what everyone else has and to be perceived in a way that is going to at times be at odds with how he is actually presenting himself to the world.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

For the nonnie that was curious about why I don’t like Bernadetta (Marianne will be in another post because this one is pretty long):

I actually suffer from the exact same condition she does and have been diagnosed for agoraphobia. Unfortunately it turns out IS does in fact not know how to write people who are afraid to leave their rooms/houses and makes it seem like we just can't so much as have a conversation with people in person or have to do so from behind a door. People like me can leave our rooms and go out and shit - it's just extremely anxiety ridden.

My biggest issue with Bernadetta is that she's played explicitly for laughs and there's little to no actual tackling of her issues. She screams and runs off because lol funnies, but she also never listens to what anyone says to her and immediately starts insulting herself while ignoring the entire conversation. The thing is, if she were real, I wouldn't even be able to tell her she's wrong about herself because no, she's the most annoying thing on the planet and I found myself agreeing with EdeIgard in their C and B supports when EdeIgard was basically like ffs woman just stfu and actually listen to the conversation instead of making up what's happening.

The whole screaming and running away constantly would need to be removed completely for me to even consider the rest of her character (which is also pretty bland, but when she actually learns how to hold a conversation she's somewhat tolerable). No amount of "oh no Bernie now everyone hates you" is gonna make me like her. In fact, it's true I do hate her because she constantly puts herself down in that specific way, and well... when people do that irl, it's literal manipulation. People want you to say the opposite of the bad things. If that were me, I'd immediately just say yeah, you know what, everyone does hate you because you say shit like that constantly and can't hold a single conversation because uwu your dad was mean to you.

I didn't have the best relationship with my own dad some years ago, and sometimes it was really bad. Neither of us could even hold a conversation because whenever he said anything to me it was some jab at me, and that was during severe mental illness for me. He's learning how mental illness works now, but my relationship with him and somewhat my mom, like Bernadetta, wasn't really good. We were extremely dysfunctional. That didn't make me hide away from every single conversation from all other people though, and her entire character is excessive and beyond unrealistic. Part of it is also the whole "oh no me and my dad had a bad relationship, now I'm going to scream and run away from everyone ever except the avatar character so people can self insert their love for me". zzzzz i sleep

In my opinion too, as someone who suffers from the exact same mental illness, it's actually pretty insulting. The only conversation I have any memory of being able to even remotely tolerate was her and Dorothea's B support. The thing is, she has a story... but it's completely overshadowed by idiocy and the writers being like "lol this must be what agoraphobia is like amirite".

She needs better development and a better delivery of what her story actually is. All her interactions, every single one, are exactly the same. Every. Single. One. Screams, runs away. Does so until the last support with the respective characters and has miniscule growth. Does not have any varied conversations and every single one takes the same outline and hurls back up the same exact thing that happened in the other support. Let me tell you, Fates was infamous for that and my feelings on its supports stand. Bernadetta was like super bad Fates writing on crack, and that's... uh... that's a new low for FE writing lol. Fates had bad writing to begin with.

I know it's also the fact that they took social anxiety and tried it to make it lol funnies bc lol ppl can relate, but like... people who genuinely have that very real issue do not behave like that and to me, it's not funny. It's not cute and "uwu I just want to protect her." It's just extremely annoying and irritating and in fact, I just want to slap her square in the face and tell her to never open her mouth again because HOOEE. There's a big difference between having a mental illness and being outright annoying to everyone you speak to, and having a mental illness doesn't excuse particular socially damaging (to others) behaviors.

Like... I hate her with a fiery hot burning passion when I actually think about the way they handled her in Houses. She's pretty barely above Edelgard in that sense.

As far as more on why I don’t like her, I did mention a lot of it in these posts which explained why the topic itself is so problematic in how it was written.

Hopes:

Regarding Hopes, they actually did remove some of that nonsense as far as the main story. She was quieter and could handle being out in the war (at least while having Ferdinand at her side which yes, that can be realistic! Having a friend with you when you have to go out and you're anxious to go out can really help). Her supports are still absolute trash and should be in the dumpster instead of all the useful things you can find dumpster diving in business' dumpsters, but the main story severely toned down the bullshit.

Her supports are still infuriating (besides with Marianne), but luckily she doesn't have as many in Hopes since supports were less of a feature in the game overall. They were better... somewhat... but not great. Her support with Marianne is essentially the character we should have gotten as her whole character when she associates with anyone at all, because just because she had a rocky relationship with her dad doesn't mean she should look at every single human being ever and fear the things she feared from her dad. What happened with her and her dad doesn't mean everyone is her dad and she should realistically know that. Even if she has a hard time coming out of her shell, she should still do that, slowly learning about people but quickly realizing, based on the amount of people she can meet in GM, that nobody is like her dad.

Ironically the C and B supports she had with EdeIgard were pretty much me letting my emotions out somewhat through EdeIgard lol.

Like you said, the writers handle Bernadetta like a joke character and tbh, I'm frankly disgusted by her popularity as someone who now has to acknowledge that the fandom at large treats my mental illness and anxiety as a lol funny joke. It's crippling and it's why I can barely function outside of my house, and it's certainly not something to laugh about when it causes struggles getting a job because most jobs are, and have been entirely until recently, jobs that you had to leave home to get to. Even online/office jobs were in a location outside of one's home. The fact that the fandom completely feeds into this joke writing means they enjoy it and have only proved the writers correct that anxiety is a joke worth laughing at if you struggle to leave your house.

The representation part of it:

In other words, when anxiety gets that bad, it can be played for laughs and people will enjoy it in media. The problem with that is exactly the same as older media concerns, like showing deeply autistic characters (ex. ones who have warped facial features due to their autism) and shaming them for "being ugly" or otherwise facially abnormal. Another example, media's habit of fat shaming and making fat characters to have them be a fat joke. Berandetta is exactly those things, just with another skin of socially abnormal and neurodivergent behavior being laughed at because it's not "socially normal or acceptable irl".

A perfect example would be unfortunately the Naruto series, that I grew up loving but recently looked back on and saw that a good chunk of it was nothing but cringe. There are literally fat jokes that are so bad in the sequel series, Boruto, that an overweight character literally insults herself with the fat jokes and it’s written to be humor. It's... bad. Bernadetta is literally that, possibly even in a more extreme way.

There’s also the fact that, like I mentioned in one of the linked posts, they give her the very strange interest of “weird plants”, as if to imply they believe shut ins are and do strange things that most people would gawk at, when no, we actually do normal things everyone else does.

I’ve been struggling with this anxiety in a severe way for over five straight years. It’s not funny and we don’t do unusual, abnormal things or have “weird” interests. We also don’t scream and run away from people trying to have a simple, friendly conversation with us. Her self depricating is also ridiculous and we don’t do that out in the open. People like myself tend to only speak to individuals we really trust about those insecurities. While we do have a hard time having any confidence, we don’t just blurt it out and scream it in front of someone mid-conversation. Like I said, people who do that irl are doing it for attention and to get compliments. Having her do that is a very bad look on people who actually have this illness.

Like, I know it seems like I’m making a Big Deal about it, but to me this is no different than people seeing fat jokes played for laughs, or having the token black character who is often the butt of jokes or even just there for the creator(s) to say “there’s a black character so you can’t say we didn’t do it”. It feels like it was just forced in because “it was the new trend online”.

The problem is that people actually ate it up and were happy with “representation”, even if that representation was actually insulting and extremely left field from what the representation is supposed to be like. When creators see incorrect interpretation being lauded as awesome and great, they won’t care if it was well done or not because it sold well and people expressed love for it. Those people not caring about how accurate the representation is is exactly the group of people who are hurting those of us who are trying to get others, and media, to understand that we don’t want that and yes, we want representation, but not for it to be so off par that it’s not even representing at all at that point.

Basically they made both a horribly annoying character and a total failure of a soecial anxiety representation. Like, I don’t even hate Micaiah to this extent and she used to be my most hated FE character until uwugard and Bernadetta happened.

[noblechaton]

well with that big moment having happened and me taking a break to cook I think now's a good time to ramble a bit on my P3R feelings as they stand atm!

so first and most importantly, I am enjoying the game. I say this first and with importance bc the initial ~10-15 hours felt so....stilted and strange that I wasn't sure I'd vibe with it and while I didn't consider dropping the game, I def considered going at P4G first instead

but I'm glad I stuck with it bc - as I'd kinda assumed - that weirdness was largely intentional and in service of a story that's kinda only gotten better as it's gone on, a deliberate slow burn approach I simply wasn't expecting but can appreciate now. maybe it's not super perfectly paced and there's stuff I do object to or have issues with as far as narrative goes, but it's definitely gotten its hooks deep in me

far as the rest of the game goes tho I will say it's largely positive still but a bit more mixed in places - the combat system's so snappy and responsive, I've lost hours to just trawling Tartarus, Elizabeth's requests and hangouts are largely fun if a bit tedious when it comes to fusion ones, the music's solid but I feel weirdly....thin? lacking? like it feels there's only a few tracks which I know isn't true lol but it feels like I only ever hear 2-3 different songs

social links are....ehhhh. there's been some I've gotten invested in and others I haven't really touched. there's shockingly little to do after you finish stat grinding too which I find odd given the plethora of stuff you could do in P5R - some of which I only ever got to do like, once lmao. there only being like three places is also still kinda weird but not a bad thing necessarily - just makes the world feel smaller

still wish there was more you could do with SEES. the bonding moments you get in the dorm are largely cool but limited while the link episodes are a neat concept but making them optional and thus missable feels like a mistake imo. I've only done Yukari's social link proper to this point and I genuinely can't believe they locked character shit like this behind max stats and certain start dates, it's gone a long way for her character as I'm sure the rest will for the other gals

I went into this game with the mindset of not comparing it too much to P5R and I've largely stuck with that - but it's hard not to in places, too. P5R felt like it was bursting with content, good or otherwise, that wasn't all in service of one of two things, whereas P3R comes across as a bit hollow given it kinda just becomes social link > SEES moment/Tartarus exploration > social link > SEES moment/Tartarus etc. after you finish the social stat grind

and I will say on the topic that I am finding the main narrative a bit less gripping than P5R's did, which felt ever-changing yet no less engaging. here it's been kind of a one-track focus with little deviation or depth given on the matter for huge swaths of the runtime and I do find that a bit odd. it's still fine and enjoyable, I still wanna know where it goes, but I feel it kinda has a habit of spinning its wheels a bit too much too - tho I'm sure this'll be alleviated by the end of the game

so. yeah. on the whole, game good! if I had to rate it atm I'd probably go with an 8 at worst - it might be a bit slow and a bit more empty than what I'm used to, but the characters, aesthetics and gameplay kinda make up for a lot of my issues. I'm hoping the story can pick back up and stay going at some point - this thing where the plot only really moves every 30 in-games days is getting to feel like a bit of a slog tbh - but I don't see a version of this game that I don't come away loving

just how much tho is gonna depend on these next ~40? hours

[gavis-bettel]

ok but i have never seen a google docs receipts/c4ll0ut that wasnt at least 30% the stupidest god damn shit ive ever seen someone make up

[scullysflannel]

i remember seeing your post about why bcs is better than breaking bad, with this last episode, how do you think it stands as an antithesis of breaking bad?

it's become even more obvious this season that better call saul is not at all the antithesis of breaking bad, even though it is the antithesis of the kind of antihero story breaking bad exemplified. both shows are about moral agency in the wild west. they assert choice as identity (you are what you choose to do) and ask whether those choices redefine you or just reveal who you are intrinsically. they're both about men who become the architects of their own destruction and about how one person's actions can trap others.

I think better call saul is doing it in a much sadder and richer way. jimmy is acting out of deflected love, in a system that gives him fewer options to succeed without bending the rules. walt is handed an out early on from his wealthy ex-partners, but he doesn't take it because of his pride. he does what he does for entirely selfish reasons: money, power, ego, control. I've seen some pushback against walt hate on the premise that it ignores the humanity in the writing or whatever, so let me be clear: walt sucks because he's written like a human being. he's terrible to his son and only dotes on him when he wants to feel like a big provider. he ignores and lies to his pregnant wife. his students don't like him. he thinks he cares about jesse, but he's manipulating him, and he's at his most affectionate when he has the most control over him. that's not real care. I do think in the later seasons it sometimes borders on ridiculous how loathsome walt can be, and he's not the best character on breaking bad (jesse, skyler, mike, and hank are all more interesting. marie and gus are cooler). but the writers took care to root the worst things about him in personality traits that clearly predated his little meth empire. this is not a good guy we caught at a bad time. this is a small man who's masked his bitterness in socially acceptable ways for years.

in better call saul the chain reaction is more tangled. jimmy takes the opportunities that he's given to change, and then he tanks them, and his self-sabotage is both a fatal flaw and a response to legitimate structural problems in the legal system. (the rules are harder to justify when those rules are designed to maintain a status quo that makes upward mobility so hard, makes forgiveness so hard. think of jimmy's speech in "winner": one teenage shoplifting incident will follow you forever. they are never, ever letting you in. he got a whole law degree, but it was from an online university, so should it count?) he's much more shaped by other people than walt is ("people tell me how they see me"). better call saul builds on the big ideas in breaking bad but really commits to making the world around the fucked-up guy fucked up too, and it makes the tragedy so much deeper. because ultimately it's still a story about personal responsibility, just as breaking bad is. even when you have no good options, you still have to live with your choices.

being a prequel pushes better call saul to be smarter (which is what I was saying in the post you mentioned). it makes the characters more reflective. shoutout to the new yorker article that pointed out what it does to the show that the actors look older, as if the characters are trapped reliving their pasts without the power to change them. jimmy believes his fate is sealed, and as a result we get to watch him seal it. it's agonizing. that's where better call saul diverges from the breaking bad antihero formula: there's no (lasting) thrill in watching him make bad choices because we know what they'll do to him in the long run. but rebuking the walter white problem doesn't make better call saul breaking bad's opposite; it just makes it a more fulfilling version of the same story.

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

[dhampirwomen]

if the vampire academy show gets multiple seasons, i really hope it changes the direction of the rose/adrian relationship bc i can’t think of any good reason to write a show where a black woman is villainized and used as a plot device for her white oppressor's manpain. regardless of your personal feelings on rose or adrian, the concept of a narrative where the black heroine is put in a bad position at the end of her own story to set up more angst for her white ex-boyfriend is a bad choice, for both meta and story reasons.

wrt meta reasons why keeping things the same as spirit bound/last sacrifice is a bad idea, following the books faithfully would prob open the door to a lot of fandom antiblackness and sexism against rose as a character and sisi as an actor. rose is already an overhated character in book fandom and reviews bc of the rosdrian subplot, with many of the same people who don’t see an issue with adrian’s sexually harassing or objectifying rose calling rose an abuser, manipulator, gold-digger and a mix of sexist and racist slurs for not returning adrian’s feelings and/or for not being loyal to him. ofc this isn’t behavior that’s unique to adrian fandom bc all fandoms have sexism/racism problems, and i’m def not saying all adrian fans are anti-rose or that anyone is bad in any way for liking adrian. imo you can love/appreciate adrian as a character and still see that the va show is better off avoiding the books’ take on the rosdrian subplot. black characters- esp black women- always get more flack from fandom and their choices are judged more harshly, rose/sisi is already getting a lot of hate from racists who hate the show reality that rose hathaway is a black woman, and there’s no need to stoke the misogynoir flames even more by making rose “at fault” for how her dynamic with adrian plays out.

the show could write any number of new subplots where (assuming the show wants to keep the canon endgames intact):

(if adrian’s behavior is changed) adrian has unrequited feelings for rose for a while but they don’t actually date, he takes no for an answer after some flirting and his romance shifts to adrian/sydney once sydney takes a more active role in the plot

(if adrian’s behavior is changed) rosdrian date, but they do it in a casual, no-strings-attached way where they break up at some point before they get together with their endgames. there are no hard feelings between them

(if adrian’s behavior stays the same) rosdrian’s trajectory stays mostly the same but the breakup is abt rose getting some catharsis calling adrian out for objectifying her, which could kickstart adrian’s redemption arc. this option would prob be closest to canon, but rose gets a mini-arc that culminates in her standing up for herself against a royal who disrespected her and adrian realizes he needs to start acting better with women who are lower than him on the moroi social hierarchy, which would pay forward with adrian/sydney

this is just me floating a few options and i’d love to hear other ppl’s suggestions wrt how this subplot could go if y’all have any. but the most important point is: no matter what happens or how adrian is written, rose shouldn’t cheat on adrian and shouldn’t be written like the breakup is her fault, like she’s responsible for adrian’s feelings, or like she "owes” adrian a chance at any point. even if adrian is written like a legit nice guy and doesn’t coerce rose in the show, the main issue with the cheating plot is richelle m using rose as an “ex who broke his heart” plot device to give adrian more tragic backstory in a spinoff, without giving rose any of the detailed catharsis, recovery and healing she wrote for adrian in that new series. the va show, like the main series, is rose’s story, and it needs to stay rose’s story without sacrificing her character development or marring her hea so it can contrive more angst for a white supporting character.

[ddarker-dreams]

Yan Childe, Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Beidou & Ningguang / Courting Darling.

Warnings: Stalking, implied blackmail, kidnapping, and gaslighting. Note: this is a bit of an amalgamation from different asks i’ve gotten, put into one thing bc i thirst for these six characters so hard .

Childe:

“What’s life without a little adventure? You can stand to miss work for a day or two, it’ll still be there waiting for you when we get back. People have even gone so far as to say I’m an absolute joy to be around. You want to know who said that? Sorry, that source is staying a secret.” 

Childe is an erratic whirlwind of highs and lows. You never know what to expect from him, and he likes it that way, always keeping you on your toes. He doesn’t bother with having his friendliness appear genuine. If you want to doubt his goodwill, then so be it, he won’t stop you. It just makes it all the more interesting to keep you around should you be wary of his presence. 

He doesn’t care for the traditional conventions surrounding romance. It isn’t his thing, and he’s used to being considered the odd one out of every crowd, so why stop now? Childe doesn’t tone down any aspects of his bloodthirsty personality in your presence. It’s difficult to tell how serious he’s being since most of it takes the form of jokes or other lighthearted jests. In his mind, the fact he’s even spending so much time with you should make it obvious he’s interested. Whether that’s good or not. 

You’re going to be dragged all over the place. Childe’s stamina is seemingly an infinite well, as he takes you from activity to activity. By the end of the day, you’ll be exhausted. Unfortunately, he doesn’t take no for an answer, weaseling his way into your schedule despite your protests. Childe is particularly fond of getting into situations where a fight is inevitable, purposefully taking you to areas with monsters to show off his combat prowess. 

“Did you get a look at that, [First]? Aha, I haven’t had this much fun in ages! You already want to head back? Hm, I don’t know, the night is still young. Stop dragging your feet or I might just have to carry you. Not that I’m complaining, should that be the outcome. It’s up to you. Oh! Now that’s the spirit! I’ll try not to be hurt by how fast you’re moving now.” 

Diluc: 

“Ah, [First], I take it you’re doing well. I couldn’t help but notice you eyeing this book at the market earlier. I’ve had a copy of it for ages, but with how busy things are, rarely do I have time to read. I’d be appreciative should you accept this and give it a better home.” 

Diluc is self-assured in many areas of his life, romance is not one of them. He knows how to carry himself in the company of businessmen, staying polite and vigilant, but this rigid method doesn’t work in his favor when it comes to wooing you. To soften the blow on his side, Diluc tells himself that it was never about a relationship anyway. That his main priority was and will always be to ensure your safety. He tells himself this, but... isn’t sure if he really believes it. 

He’s a perfect example of pining from afar. Subconsciously, he’ll drift towards areas you tend to linger around, hoping to spot you amidst the bustling crowds. Each time he tells himself that this’ll finally be the time he approaches you. The opportunity is set before him, waiting to be taken advantage of, but he rarely follows through with his desire. 

It frustrates Diluc to no end how easily others flock to you. He’ll stand there, still as a statue, eyes boring into whatever pest currently holds your attention. This would be the push to finally send him your way. It’s a surprise to you both when Mondstadt’s wine tycoon materializes by your side, politely asking to speak in private. Truth be told, he just can’t stand the thought of another person holding your attention that isn’t him. 

“I apologize for my abruptness back there. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about for some time, and well... would you consider having dinner with me tonight? I’d appreciate your company.” 

Kaeya:

“It’s a funny thing, really. How we keep bumping into one another like this. Ah... that suspicious expression, it wounds me deep, sweetheart. When did you start looking at me like that, I wonder?” 

There’s no doubting Kaeya’s interest in you, from the first time he sauntered over to you and started a conversation. The problem you have is deciding how genuine his advances are. While Kaeya might not be the textbook definition of a heart-wrenching playboy, you’re familiar enough with the many rumors surrounding him to be wary. It doesn’t help that he’ll point this out to you when guessing the source of your apprehension. 

His methods are, oddly enough, effective. Kaeya balances the various aspects of seduction with ease. He reveals just enough about himself to draw out your attention, before focusing the conversation back onto you. You’ll never get to stop and realize how little you know about the man sitting in front of you, he makes certain of that.

Kaeya might hide certain aspects of himself, but his dubious morality is never concealed. He has you entirely wrapped around his finger, words validating his actions falling from his lips with the utmost ease; he’s a force to be reckoned with. You’ll start a conversation heated about something you’ve learned, only for it to end wondering why you were ever upset in the first place.

“Now, now, there’s no need to get all riled up over something like this. Don’t you trust me by now? When have I ever given you reason to doubt me? You need to take a look at the bigger picture. Hey, take a seat. I’ll sit here all night explaining to you if it’s necessary.” 

→[More underneath the cut].

Zhongli: 

“There must be something that I can assist you with. It may not look it, but I’m familiar with many fields of work, even obscure ones. Please allow me to lend a hand.” 

Zhongli, despite having been around for many centuries, is somewhat clueless in romantic pursuits. He’s aware of his fondness for you, but doesn’t know what to do with it. This leads him to becoming your shadow for some time. He focuses on what he knows best: observation and processing new information. Your every little movement will be analyzed and tuck into the back of his mind for later usage. 

Zhongli’s soft over the idea of you coming to rely on him for everything. He prides himself on his wealth of knowledge and work ethic, believing it a strong appeal, one that he puts on full display when you’re around. It’s not rare for you to overhear neighbors and friends speak highly about Zhongli. They’ll mention in passing how they were having difficulty with something, only for Zhongli to come around and help without asking for anything in return. 

This is exactly what he’s been hoping and waiting for. Zhongli has patience and sets himself up to be a desirable partner in your eyes, the efforts from his labor coming into fruition. Before you even speak to him for the first time, you’re likely to think highly of him, having heard all the ways he’s helped people close to you. Now that the stage is properly set, he’s ready to make his interest in you more evident. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you, [First]. Oh? You can say the same for me? Well, I hope I can live up to your expectations. I had just been on my way to Yanshang Teahouse, would you care to join me? My treat, of course.” 

Beidou: 

“You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced a voyage with my crew and I. I’ll set up a nice cabin just for you, how does that sound? Hm? Special treatment? Don’t worry your pretty little head about that, lass.”  

Beidou’s attention is overwhelming and oftentimes dangerous. Traditional social conventions are nothing but a waste of time for her, meaning that common courtesy is disregarded in favor of always speaking her mind. Which might not be so bad if she wasn’t so amorous. Even the most oblivious person couldn’t miss Beidou’s overt favor towards you.

This reverent display of affection is only exacerbated when she’s drunk, face flushed and an arm swung tightly around your shoulder. She doesn’t care who sees, who’s judging, or what gossip will be born from her actions. Beidou makes a point of showing everyone in the vicinity that even if you aren’t officially partners yet, a claim has been staked on you. 

Whether it be coercion or some other unsightly method, Beidou is intent on bringing you on her ship at least once. Or that’s how she initially phrased it to you. Imagine your surprise, that when you finally caved so she’d drop the subject, her crew was untying the ropes keeping the boat at port. 

“The fun’s just getting started, you haven’t seen anything yet. Don’t get all teary-eyed yet, sweetheart, I know you’ll come around. This’ll be a story sung by sailors for generations to come.”

Ningguang:

“If I’m being honest, not many are given the opportunity to speak to me outside of business-related ventures. I never thought I’d find it this... pleasant. I hope you’ll continue to entertain me as you do now.” 

Ningguang starts off her wooing in a subtle, almost coquettish manner. She is confident in her charm and brilliance. Not many have been gifted in the art of conversation to the same extent Ningguang has, her silver tongue paired with quick intellect making it difficult for you to escape. She’ll corner you verbally without you even noticing it. 

Ningguang finds amusement in how you stumble over your words, pure of heart and not chained down by special interests. Your forthright but considerate demeanor intoxicates her. She’s used to people cowering in her presence or trying too hard to pursue their goals. You might even earn a rare compliment or two, disguised as politeness, that doesn’t register for hours. 

She is a lady of fine taste. The sky’s the limit when it comes to her wealth, which is unrivaled throughout Tevyat, and you’ll be quick to notice this. Ningguang is most partial to sending you traditional Liyue adornments, believing the rich culture behind each piece suits your beauty. She’s also fond of the fact that when you wear her gifts, everyone in the vicinity will know it’s from her, due to its extraordinarily high cost. 

“Do you like my latest gift, little dove? It was made custom with you in mind, an unrivaled display of craftmanship, if I may add. Wear this and carry me with you... always.” 

[realcube]

trying to be nice to their crush hcs

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you to 🍦anon for this cute request!

characters: tsukishima, kyōtani, sakusa & suna

content warning: swearing & sexual references 

kei tsukishima 

♡ this is all yamaguchi’s fault （︶^︶）

♡ he found out tsukki had a crush on you bc he mentioned you a lot in conversation so yamaguchi interrogated him for answers then lo and behold, the beanpole had a lil thing for you 

♡ you sit in front of tsukishima in homeroom while yamaguchi sits beside him so when you leaned back and asked him if you could borrow a pencil and he spat back a snarky remark about you being too irresponsible to care for your own pencils, yamaguchi hastily offered you one of his own before scolding tsukishima 

♡ he explained to his clueless friend that being nasty to people isn’t a good way to get them to like you 

♡ so perhaps he should be nicer :)

♡ honestly, tsukishima would’ve just looked yamaguchi straight in the eyes and went ‘no’, if it wasn’t for the fact you shot tadashi the sweetest smile anD PLAYFULLY BLEW HIM A KISS AFTER HE JUST GAVE YOU A DAMN PENCIL LIKE WTF 

♡ after that, he decided to give up his current personality and pick up a new one 

♡ jk jk 

♡ but he had to binge a whole bunch of those youtube psychology videos that are like ‘psychological tricks to make people like you’ and ‘THESE 5 MIND TRICKS WILL MAKE YOU THE MOST POPULAR PERSON *EVER*’!!

♡ spoiler alert: he wasn’t the most popular person but perhaps that was bc he only went to the effort of using those tricks on you 

♡ god bless him; he tries hard, he really does. (not his best, just hard)

♡ but you don’t have to be extremely observant to realise that he’s began acting different around you and of course, it confused you seeing tsukishima being nice

♡ what irritated you was how dismissive he was being of your questions though, as he was clearly trying to lead you to believe that you were crazy and he’s just always been a nice guy 

♡ but as soon as he figures out that he angered you, he’ll instantly switch back to him normal self - draining his mind of the hours of phycology studying he did last night to just pretend like it never happened 

♡ and if he’s feeling flirty, he might be extra mean to you （￣︶￣）

♡ also he makes a mental note to never take yamaguchi’s romance advice ever again 🙄

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you sighed, removing your hand from your bag after desperately rummaging through it in search of a pencil once again - deja vu. once you accepted that a pencil wasn’t going to materialise out of thin air, you peered over your shoulder and tapped the corner of yamaguchi’s desk, who wore a suspicious grin which you decided against questioning. 

“yamaguchi, do you think i could borrow a pencil again? sorry, this is the last time, i swear. i’ll be sure to get some on my way home after school tod--” 

yamaguchi dropped the line him and tsukishima had rehearsed many times beforehand, while clutching his pencilcase dear to his chest, “woah, (y/n). you’re so irresponsible. sorry, i can’t lend one of my pristine pencils to someone who is too forgetful to remember to buy some; what if you forget to return it to me?” 

tsukishima cringed at how forced it sounded but he couldn’t help but admire yamaguchi's dedication to his role. this allowed tsukishima to swoop in, pencil in hand, “here.” that wasn’t in the script but he panicked! okay, now, eye contact. 

you just sat there and stared at both of them with the most dumbfounded look plastered on your face. what just happened?  why were they both acting like they were in drama class?  and why are they both so bad at acting? they’re both passing performing arts for fucks’ sake!

kentarō kyōtani 

♡ sorry but i firmly believe kyōtani is the sorta guy to be extra mean to ppl he fancies smh

♡ the rest of them just act (somewhat) like themselves around their crush but kyōtani is himself2 (himself^2)

♡ like one time yahaba found you trembling in your locker bc you had gotten mud on mad dog’s white shoes so he chased you through the hallways of the school, threatening to trek mud on your forehead 

♡ yahaba took it upon himself to investigate as to why kyōtani was so rude to you and he got his answer as soon as he mentioned your name to mad dog and the boy’s face immediately flushed red 

♡ so after practise, yahaba schools mad dog on how to get chicks (⌐■_■)

♡ in short, his advice was ‘good guys get laid’ and for kyōtani’s understanding, ‘good’ and ‘kind’ were interchangeable 

♡ mad dog wasn’t completely oblivious to how he treated you and he was aware that he was far from ‘kind’

♡ although he usually doesn’t listen to people in general, yahaba seemed to know what he was talking about so he figured there was no harm in trying to be nice 

♡ but ngl, he just spent the rest of the day wondering...what is kind?

♡ after a few messages back and forth with yahaba, he figured that the best place to start was by apologising for - y’know - chasing you around the whole school 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“oi!” kyōtani bellowed through hallway, paying no mind to the students that cast him dirty looks as his sights were locked on you. standing unsuspecting by your locker, stuffing your textbooks into your bag until you heard his deep voice echo through the hall, to which you visibly perked up and began frantically looking around.

he marched towards you, hands in pockets and when you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, you were more than ready to drop all your shit and bolt away. but he didn’t let you as before you were able to take off on your heels, he grabbed your shoulder and spun you around to face him - then he noticed your hands raised in defence by your face and your head hung low.

his heart sank and his grip on your shoulder immediately softened, “i’m not gonna punch you, idiot.” he spat, rolling his eyes and gritting his teeth, trying to appear angry in hopes you’d mistake his light blush for pure rage. 

“i just wanted to say that i felt bad for chasing you through the halls yesterday - you didn’t stand a chance so i guess it was a bit unfair.” he said, frowning as you replied with silence so the duty fell on him to fill it, “and i got the stain out, anyway so.” 

more silence. lovely.

suddenly, he puffed his cheeks out as his eyes snapped to meet yours and he roared, “ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING SAY SOMETHING OR ARE YOU TOO BRAINDE-”

“are you wearing eyeliner?” 

and that was the true story behind why you missed last period, because you and kyōtani had a 30 minute conversation about eyeliner and make-up, then he convinced you to skip the rest of class with him so he could buy you ramen as an apology gift.

so yeah, he figured that perhaps he should try being nice more often.

kiyoomi sakusa

♡ he didn’t need someone to tell him to be nicer, he’s just predisposed to attempt to show kindness to someone he is fond of

♡ in his mind, showing kindness, respect and stripping himself of all his personality = the only way to be desirable 

♡ (ofc this takes place before he meets atsumu tho lol)

♡ so it’s not the realisation that’s the problem for him, it’s the execution 

♡ like how is he supposed to be nice without either sounding creepy or condescending? 

♡ *cut to sakusa practising in the bathroom mirror* ‘your hand looks- no-’ he scoffs, flicking cold water onto his face, ‘your hair looks cool- pretty- nice?’

♡ *camera pans to sakusa laying in bed, staring intently at the ceiling while imagining vivid and scarily detailed scenarios about ways he could mess up while talking to you* 

♡ *camera zooms in on sakusa’s face as he manifests a nicer version of himself*

♡ he might - depending on how insecure he is - watch one of those psychology videos or read a wikihow for help

♡ but other than that, he independently tries to alter his personality in order to gain your favour bc..true love ?

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you smiled as a basketball rolled up to your feet during gym class, followed by the sound of someone approaching you and upon raising your gaze, your eyes met sakusa’s unmistakable black ones. his face hovered only a few inches away from yours due to the fact you had both reached down to pick up the ball at the same time.

he quickly pulled himself away, tucking the basketball under his elbow as he adjusted his mask so it properly covered his face to ensure that you didn’t see the light blush slowly spreading across his cheeks. he then proceeded to blurt out what he had been rehearsing for the past few nights, “oh, thank you, (y/n). your hair looks lovely today, by the way.”

you giggled, holding your hands firmly by your side to avoid fidgeting and making it obvious that his sudden comment flustered you, “thanks, sakusa. and, if we’re handing out compliments today, i didn’t know you were good at any sport other than volleyball but you’re doing surprisingly well at basketball.” you joked, your lips slowly curling into a cocky smirk, “though, i don’t think you’d stand a chance against my team.” 

god, you’re such a tease. you make it so hard for him to be nice to you. so, of course, your comment returned his ability to utter almost every sarcastic comment that comes to mind - screw being likeable. “you think so?” he quirked a brow, tossing the ball onto your lap then pacing backwards, “go on, then.”

rintarō suna

♡ it was probably those tips on social media that told him he has to be nicer 

♡ and plus he saw terushima get all the chicks and he was just sitting there like ‘where are my bitches at? 🥺’

♡ anyway, all the guys on social media that had girls lining up outside their door always had one thing in common: misogyny  obnoxious personalities !!

♡ and his whole personality was a sacrifice suna was willing and ready to make for just a crumb of cooch  🤲

♡ though you weren’t exactly his crush yet, suna thought you were the best person to carry out this experiment with bc he heard through the grapevine that you had a crush on him so perhaps this would make you happy

♡ he didn’t prepare much beforehand though which he immediately regretted as soon as he approached you bc admittedly, his game plan of ‘be self-assured but friendly’ was a bit vague 

♡ so he basically just had to bullshit through a whole, awkward conversation with you while wearing a forced ‘bold’ smirk which, in reality, looked as though he had just seen tiddies for the first time 

♡ hardly self-assured or friendly 

♡ also, the fact you thought he was playing a prank on you must’ve drastically altered the results of his experiment 

♡ at one point he says something extremely stupid you’d just quit playing along and just blurt out ‘wtf is wrong with you today’

♡ to which he’d be like ‘ahaha, nuthin much bbg, how bout you?’

♡ THE EXPERIEMNT ISN’T OVER UNTIL HE SAYS IT’S OVER OKAy?!

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you rubbed your temples in order to soothe the throbbing headache suna gave you simply by existing. like yes, you had a crush on him 10 minutes ago - but that was before he came up to you and started acting like terushima on dodgy medication. “oh and your skin is glowing bab--”

“jesus christ, rintarō, shut up!” you cried, gripping the edge of your skirt to prevent your self from delivering a swift punch right to his stupid face. he’s seriously gotten on all your nerves at this point; firstly, by spamming your phone in the middle of the night asking for homework answers (accompanied by cursed memes) as he actually managed to wake you up. secondly, by acting so oblivious to the fact you clearly had a crush on him and now, this!

heat rose to his cheeks in embarrassment as his creepy smile instantly fell right back into his resting bitch face, “this isn’t working, is it?” 

“what’s not working?”

suna scoffed, rolling his eyes - his façade having evidently disappeared. “this.” he sighed, looking around as if someone was going to save him before his eyes finally settled on you and he was reminded of what he wanted in the first place, his sparkle was rekindled for just a moment which caused him to blurt out, “just fuck me already, i’m not asking for much.”

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.