#no one will care but thats fine. ive known this for a while

[angellurgy2]

^_^

[ellilyre]

Ive lose the ask asking for my transmasc!Leo headcanon TT but i have them written down so imma post em like that

Leo transmasc headcanon

(many things are based on my own experience. Especially the dysphoria related things (so when i talk about Leo not being a real boy it is what he thinks bc of dysphoria. It’s not true.))

(warning angst angst (but thats Leo so that was expected)

it was so obvious even when he was small. He always wanted to play with boys, wear boys clothes, ect… His mom was fine with it. She bought him boys toys and clothes and even sometimes called him hijo. She was a bit confused, but she knew it made her child happy and it's all that mattered. 

However, it didn’t go that well with his foster homes. However much he tried, they always stuck to his deadname and she/her. That was a big part of the reason he kept running away. 

There really is no story behind the name Leo. He picked that one bc it sounded cool. 

Once he got a good enough passing, he did everything he could so ppl will assume he’s cis.

Don’t ask me how he gots his hands on hrt. It’s a long and weird story.

The wilderness school was very strict about not mixing girls and boys in dorms. 

Piper was his roommate, that’s how they met. 

In their memories created by Hera, Jason has kinda always known he’s trans. So Leo never bothered to hide it from Jason (as he does with others).

But Jason doesn’t have much (any) education on transidentity… At first he assumed Leo was a cis guy, and then some things were a bit confusing (why was he in fem dorms ? Why does he wear a tank top under his shirt ? Did he just ask Piper for a tampon???) but he just kinda gave up on trying to understand, bc Leo is a nice guy anyways. And with time (and exterior knowledge on the matter) he started to put the pieces together and to understand that “ooh ok that makes sense". 

Otherwise. Leo has no desire to get out of his comfortable closet. 

He has such a fragile masculinity 

Sometimes he acts a little bit macho. He’s aware he’s acting like an asshole but he’s terrified of being perceived as feminine. 

Why does he try to flirt with every girl he sees ? Another attempt to pass better (and comfort himself in his fragile masculinity) by copying stereotypical boys' things.

He overbind so much, GODS. Man will wear his binder for 11h straight (while fighting and running around) and then have the audacity to complain that his body hurts.

Piper tries very hard to remind him to take proper breaks. 

Jason is the biggest gender envy ever. He is handsome, tall, muscular… Leo really loves him but he also is so jealous and envious. 

He is very envious of other boys in general. 

When Percy got woken up in the middle of the night and left his cabin shirtless. When Frank went to take a break in the men’s restroom…

Gods, he would do anything to just be a normal boy. To be like them. To have their bodies. To not have to destroy his body to look slightly more masculine. To not have this constant fear that they’re gonna find out. 

And to add to the reasons why he felt so much like the 7th wheel : Among the 7 there are 3 girls, 3 boys… And Leo. Forever inbetween. Not a girl, but not a boy like the others either. 

Fortunately, with time he learnt to accept himself better and to feel more comfortable with others. 

Piper helped him to go easier on himself. And he had an actual proper talk with Jason.

The first person he actually came out to was probably Annabeth, bc she’s cool and wise and nice. 

And then he saw it actually was ok. She didn’t treat him any differently, she didn’t tell anyone else. She was cool with it.

He then told Frank and Hazel, with Piper’s help (mostly to explain to Hazel all those new terms). And it also went very great ! He then also told Percy and Nico. 

He’s not entirely out, just to his closest friends and his siblings at camp. And it’s enough. 

He still overbinds, but he has ppl to (discreetly) remind him to take care of himself. He’s still very dysphoric but his loved ones know how to remind him that he is their brother, an amazing boy.

[apolsup]

The super epic polycule cooking

Fhs week day 5

Polyship - Traditional/FolkClothing - Scarring

This started as me joking abt peeling potatoes being the ultimate date idea, I love peeling potatoes so yeah

So basically this is my idea of the different uhh dynamics between each of these guys,

Anyways I'll explain some things bc I've been thinking about this for a while now

I feel like Aiden and Oliver (my Bonnie) were dating for a while now since they've known each other for a long time, Aiden probably confessed first (at like 15) since hes a bit uhhh act first think later. Oliver was like "cool, wanna date then?" And they've been together ever since

Bon is obviously crushing on Oliver, but knows hes dating Aiden, starts hanging out with Freddy (Oliver asked him if it was cool for him to bring him in order to help him out since yknow guitar) and they hit it off, instead of falling into a codependent situationship like my freddon au, they start dating (bc of the little detail of Aiden and Oliver already dating)

So turns out, Aiden and Freddy are kind of developing feelings for each other, Freddy feels SO guilty bc hes crushing on his best friend boyfriend who is also his best friend, he still loves Bon to death but he cant just pick one and forget about the other he just can't. Aiden is having his own internal hell because he loves his boyfriend but yknow why the fuck is he also crushing on his best friend???? But since hes always been honest with Oliver (it took a while to get there) he decides to just tell him. Oliver has never really been someone to care about society's rule, so he's like "ok? Date him then I don't really mind or care dude, it's fine" so now Aiden has to talk to Freddy about this BUT Bon is also in the picture in case he forgot

So Freddy has been feeling awful for days and has no idea how to tell Bon about what the fuck is going on. Aiden decides to talk to him, and is honest, I like you, I still love my boyfriend, I asked him and Oliver said he doesn't mind, but I know about you and jhon- uh Bon, but if hes cool with it id love to take you out on a date or something I don't know...

Freddy of course is feelings #guiltyaf but also relived to know that at least

1. His feelings are not one sided and

2. Oliver is fine with the idea of sharing a partner

Of course hed like to accept but says he needs time to talk to Bon about it but that he also kind of feels some kind of vibe there and leaves, giving him a little bit of hope at least

Now talking to Bon? It was hard, he loves him but knows hes insecure about this topic (love, dating and stuff) so he tries to be as gentle as possible and tells him, I still love you, but ive been developing feelings for Aiden and uhmm recently he told me that hes been crushing on me and already confirmed with Oliver, and hes fine with it so he wants to like uhmm take me out but I didn't want to give him an answer until I talked about this with you and uhhh yeah I think thats all I still love you I promise I just need to know what you think about this

Bon is surprised, stunned, shell shocked even. He takes his time to think and talk to Freddy. Long story short, he accepts but needs a hell of reassurance that everything between them is fine. After this emotional talk, he timidly asks Freddy about Oliver, Freddy is surprised to see that he still has some small bit of hope in there but smiles and squeezes his hand, he tells him that he could give it a shot and hed be completely supportive and help out if he needed it, but he didn't know how or what would Oliver say if he did ask him out

So how do Bon and Aiden start dating? Well since they're metamours they have to at least be neutral to each other, at some point when they are all hanging out Aiden and Bon would have to interact more, turns out Aiden is kinda cool and okay maybe a little cute. Aiden thinks Bon is nice and its fun to watch him get nervous about horror topics, over flirting with Freddy or other things so they like each other at least enough to consider each other a friend. Time passes and turns out they like-like each other, by this moment they're used to the whole 'polyamory' thing and after giving a heads up to their partners (they both knew way before them) they go out together and well now they're dating too! After talking Aiden also hypes Bon up to ask Oliver out, he tells him "look ive seen some sparks between you two especially when you're playing the guitar, I know Oliver and im sure he'll accept!" So he does, and surprise! He accepted yay!!

So Bon and Onni have some story, way before meeting the animatronics he used to hang out with the nightmares (he used to be way edgier than how he was when he met the gang, his teenage angst was perfect for them!) And got along great with Onni since they had the smallest age gap (a year) theres two aus where they have a story, one where they were dating and Bon broke up with him due to changing and leaving the nightmares behind to befriend and form the toys with the girls, so Onni tries to get him back but is ignored. In the other, Onni has a crush on him but Bon rejects him due to his father being, well his father and not providing a safe space for his kid to realize who he is (Bon did return his feelings but got scared and chose to flee and then he meets the girls and forms the toys). The story changes a bit depending on the au, but it has the same general vibe, Bon finds him Onni sad at the library looking at his failed test (Onni got in with a scholarship and his ability with the guitar btw) Bon would usually just leave but the guilt kicks him again right in the ass and decides to walk up to him and ask if he's okay, Onni is still bummed out so he just answers by pointing at his test and the big red "2.0" (nota mínima d acá idk) and sighs. Bon knows this will end up in disaster but still, sits down after saying "I'm so gonna regret this..." And asks him if he could help him out, Onni accepts, turns out no one else wanted to help him because of his reputation.

So they start meeting at the library occasionally to study, and to bons credit Onnis grades seem to get better! They start to get more comfortable around each other and they fall back into a friendship, it's sweet, inside that library they get to joke and talk as if no time had passed, it feels as if they were barely 13 again. Bon apologizes for being a dick (he was kind of an asshole for just leaving and ignoring the nightmares) but also he needs him to apologize to those he hurt, Bon knows about his tendency to steal from Oliver and making fun of him, he can't exactly just ignore that.

So Onni does so, because he did feel at least a little guilty about it, especially more now that he had a more... Morally oriented friend/potential future boyfriend? He goes and apologizes to Oliver (and other people he hurt as well), Oliver obviously, doesn't like him and hits him, hard. Twice. A knuckle sandwich just for you! And leaves, Bon after hearing about this tends to his poor black eye and split lip (damn Oliver you had that talent hidden huh) but also "you have to admit you did have it coming" "yeah, yeah I know"

Of course they can feel the tension, they know that the other feels the same way but they dance around each other for a while before actually confessing (because their friends/partners were so DONE with it they had to force them to do it) and start dating

Aiden and Oliver DO. NOT. like him at all but they tolerate him for Bons sake, he did prove that he can handle him and control his destructive tendencies, so they accept him under the condition that he does not try to interact with them, and everyone is content with that, (also Freddy doesn't particularly care).

Fred is still here, by this time the animatronics all know about him and they like him, they're friends, Bon learnt about him some time after dating Freddy and they're also on friendly terms, they like to sing together whenever Freddy allows him to possess the body for a while. Fred kind of feels some sparks with Bon but he doesn't know how to explore this so hes ignoring this for a while (Bon is kind of unaware but he does kind of feel warm inside whenever they're sitting side by side and brushing knees)

Out of everyone, Fred is closer to Auryn (my golden) because they can relate to feeling trapped in their living situation and not having enough freedom, due to different reasons since one is a ghost with no memories of his life and the other is a repressed guy with a controlling family but they relate to each other a lot. Fred and Auryn have been dancing around each other for a loooong while, the slowest slow burn to ever slow burn. But Freddy has been pushing Fred to ask golden out for a long time. And when he's just about to do it, Auryn beats him to it! Damn it Goulding! (Joy helped) he says yes but they have to be subtle because Auryns family is, as said before, very controlling and if they ever found out about this they could take Auryn back to England (mi golden es British 😱😱) to finish his studies there so yeah, it sucks but it is what it is.

Auryn and Bon are chill around each other, not exactly friends but they like the other. Bon is also on the "im scared of my parental figures control over me haha" club so he and Auryn have at least something in common. They kiiiinda have some sort of attraction but they haven't talked about it yet.

But yeah I think thats all, maybe ill pick this up some other time bc its so fun to think about different aus where the super epic polycule exists but whatever

OHMYGOD this took a long time to write what the fuck anyways byeeeee

[kavehayi]

estos celos!

jealous bfs headcannons - feat. hsr boys!

hsr boys include: blade, welt, luocha, danheng, gepard, ratio, aventurine

author's note: hello everyone! sorry i havent made anything in a while, ive been really busy💔 but i will say that i will start posting more and i actually mean it this time, i will make time to post! i love you all and hope you understand! this blog will undergo a layout change so be on the lookout!

BLADE • the not so obvious jealous but you can tell

does not seem like the type to make jealousy obvious at all

but when he is...be careful because he will get so damn possessive

in a good way! not in a bad way, bladie would absolutely never do anything to hurt you on purpose

when he's jealous, i like to think he tries to hide it but eventually you notice something is wrong

when you ask him what's wrong, he'll tell you straight up how he feels

he doesnt seem like the type to beat around the bush at all

he'll tell you why he's jealous to your face because he loves you and feels like honesty is better than keeping away secrets

but to be honest...he probably saw you with another guy and got upset

and yes i do imagine blade to be upfront about how he feels once you ask him about why he's off

WELT • very upfront about how he feels and i mean VERY

as soon as he feels jealous, he'll tell you straight up

like as fast as a click, he tells you immediately and discusses it with you

he's very logical but will get jealous at times, just be understanding is all he can ask

most the time you guys will come to a compromise and each time you guys never get into arguments

but there is sometimes where you guys will but he never intends to break your heart

hes a sweet man and all he asks for is for your understanding and support

when he does make you upset during your tiny arguments he wants you to immediately tell him

even if you're stubborn

LUOCHA • he's a doctor so obviously...tells you immediately

hes a doctor so he has to be used to telling people the truth

so obviously this wouldnt be too bad with your guys' relationship

when he's jealous, he'll tell you how he feels after the moment of jealousy ends

which usually isnt for a few days so maybe he doesn't tell you immediately but its fine!

he does tell you eventually though, and i think thats better than never telling you

DANHENG • a little bit more shy if im honest

he's usually straightforward ok? but...

when it comes to you, that man is an absolute softie that has no idea what to do when he's around you

the man stammers sometimes trying to form a sentence around you when you look amazing

so honestly, when he's jealous, he tries to hide it like blade does

but when you eventually notice that he's off, he'll burst

like a dam, the man is stuttering out sentences and trying not to sound possessive or clingy

eventually he does sound clingy as hell and everytime your heart melts hearing his concern with you potentially leaving him

and each time you remind him how much you love him

(self indulgent sorry guys...softie dan heng is my weakness...)

GEPARD • another softie who's even more shy

biggest softie in the universe, the man is a golden retriever bf i dont care what you say

you adore him but everytime you go out with someone else and leave him at home

better expect the man to send a bunch of clingy texts

when you get home he tries denying the jealousy allegations

but he fails, hes jealous, he has to admit it

after years of questioning, you finally break him and he admits it to you

he knows you love him but he still gets a bit insecure at times and thats ok!

a little reassurance never hurt no one afterall!

RATIO • completely blunt but also a little bit more guarded

the man is known for being blunt and open but when it comes to you

he prefers being more guarded on his feelings cause according to him

its the logical thing to do

but he'll never admit just how much he loves you, i mean the man keeps every little gift you get him

but goodness when he's jealous, you can tell

he gets very possessive and holds you close to him no matter the situation

once you guys are done with the situation, he talks to you about it

and you have to be understanding and reassuring with him because he does it to you so its only fair

besides, he'll never tell you but his biggest fear is...

losing you

AVENTURINE • a little guarded but he tries to be open

the man is guarded about his feelings and for good reason

it took a while for you to understand how he felt about you because he was afraid

he didnt wanna get hurt

but after some reassurance, you finally got him to admit he wanted to be with you

and so you prepared yourself for the hardships

and you made sure he knew how much you loved him

but when he got jealous, he had a hard time opening up about it

it'd be very hard to tell if he was jealous so you usually picked up on his body language or even his eyes

if he had his left hand behind his back then you'd know that he was hiding something

once you caught him, then he'd try telling you but you never forced anything

he loves you, and he'll always remind you it and even when he has a hard time opening up...

yknow its just how he is because of everything he's been through

just...dont be hard on him

hihi! send in a message if you want a part two! also please request what men you want in part two!

[yveltalreal]

Are Porygon-Z okay? They look like they're not having a good time, and they twitch like something is wrong with them. Is it ethical to evolve one?

depends. older dubious disks were just straight up viruses. some porygon evolve by just accidentally contacting computer viruses while surfing the web or digging through bad code and evolve from it and theres not much you can do other than just make sure youve added a good anti virus. there are also special vaccinations some specialized porygon care centres offer that let you introduce your porygon to some smaller easier to spot viruses to train them to notice the signs of a sketchy program so theyre less likely to catch something. you can get decomputer worming treatment for your porygons too if they catch a worm program too. overall though its hard to remove the viruses if it advances to a stage where they evolve into porygon z.

porygon z evolved with older dubius discs, dubious discs produced by well. dubious creaters, or by natural exposure to malware will be in pain and glitch a lot and it will not be fun. theres also the chance that if they dont evolve with the RIGHT programs they may have even worse traits. the original dubius disc contained a program for exploring other realities that wasnt made well and turned into a virus and thats what messed them up real good. other viruses or poorly made code can fuck them up even worse because theres less known about that specific type of porygon z

most modern dubius disc and porygon z programs are carefully made to be very standardized. glitches and effects that are overall the same for each porygon z. be careful when finding the right program or disc and it should be fine?? its not necessarily painful unless theyre triggered into a really bad glitching fit. and usually their glitching is controllable enough. that being said i still wouldnt evolve ur porygon on purpose unless its absolutely sure it wants to be a porygon z. even with modern discs, the occasional glitching can stress out a lot of porygon z that evolved without knowing what was happening because their trainers just wanted a faster and harder hitting pokemon to porygon 2. theyre also much higher needs than porygon 2 because while porygon 2 and base porygon can usually chill out in whatever computer as long as you train them well, you need a special computer JUST for your porygon z thats disconnected from any networks or else they will fuck shit up and they cant really help it.

overall i recommend against the evolution unless you are sure you have a safe dubious disk, your porygon wants it, and you have the means of dealing with the glitching and unexpected behaviours.

at least thats what ive heard i dont have a porygon and i dont know too much about them so take anything ive said with a possible grain of salt but i did do as much research as i could.

[historicboii]

Hello again, today i bring you another MICC verse story feat. Melody.

This is the story of how she got her name. Almost.

Basically its Andyeddie being cute.

As always many thanks to the WW2 Rpf is fine server for bringing this idea to life and thanks to all of you for reading It.

Enough about me, please enjoy : )

PASTORALE

Today was a happy day, a happier day than most in this hellhole. Nobody had died yet which was rare here in the frontlines.

Once we had found somewhere to rest, Ack-Ack climbed to a higher place, some sort of rubble. He raised his voice and adressed the men.

"Everybody, we are staying here tonight, so pick a slightly smooth stone and try to sleep".

Andy as always was glowing, with a fierce determination I though could only appear in old stories of myth or in brave knights of old.

But Andy was very much real, and he was pregnant with my child. Our child.

The though made me smile involuntarily. I thought of a home, a nice evening watching our baby, me singing in a porch with my guitar in hand and baby on the other, and Andy coming home from work. A peaceful Life. A happy life.

While some of the boys were starting to doze off, or chatting in low voices, I was so stuck in my own fantasies i didn't notice Andy walking over to me.

"What were you smiling about earlier?"

"Was i smiling?"

"Yeah you were, and im asking you what all that was about"

"Everything. Nothing. The fact you are pregnant."

"Is that all?"

I smiled mischievously and replied

"Well sometimes you need to think of a sweethart back home to make It trough this war"

"Am i your sweethart?"

You always were and always will be"

"So if im here right now, what does that make me?"

I thought, you are everything to me. My captain, my lover, my family, my future. How to explain that to him? How to explain that my entire existance was tied to his life?

Then I remembered that night back in Melbourne, when he told me that he loves me. I thought of now, of how even when he was pregnant he wanted to keep fighting. To stay with the men. With our boys.

That is what i loved about him. Thats what made Andy Andy. So thats what i told him

"You are a good captain"

He laughed quietly so as to not wake the rest of the boys. He stopped and glanced at me, a wide smile on his face.

"Ive been meaning to ask, what is that song you are always humming?"

"What song?"

"That melody, you keep singing it all day, and at night before we go to sleep. I haven't heard it before, and unless its from the japs i dont know how you can know a new song around here"

"Whats up with you today, you are asking a lot of questions"

"Maybe i just want to talk to you"

"Then you should have just asked"

"Thats what im doing now"

"Dont get clever with me now, its not a good look on you"

He must have known i wasnt really mad, and my smile betrayed my annoyance.

"Oh but you love it"

"You know i do"

"So answer me"

"Its a song im working on"

"That doesnt answer the question "

Andy kept looking at me, and we he looked at me like that I knew that I had to confess the reason for my good mood lately, and why I was singing that song, even though the thought scared me more than any battle we had fought.

But this was Andy, and he would understand. I decided to tell him the truth.

"Well," I began my explanation "In my family it's tradition that a parent has to compose a song for their newborn. I guess its something of a supperstition, we always say that as long as a song is sung then that persons memory is still alive, somehow"

"I think thats beautiful"

"Its an old supperstition "

"Its ours now, eddie, and our baby will love your song"

"Well for now our boys have taken a liking to it, and they are as much our sons as the one in you belly"

"Can i ask you a question then?"

"Sure"

"Do you think its a boy or a girl?"

"I dont really care, as long as It looks like us and its happy, well that will be ours whatever happens"

He smiled at me and i knew, i knew that i would do anything for my love and my son. I had to keep fighting so that we could all make it back home.

I had to make sure our melody made It back stateside.

[kasaneteto]

ok i need some opinions

so i had the talk with my roommate about not wanting to sign another lease with him. that’s all fine and good he understands why we can’t be roommates anymore but the problem is he doesn’t want to let me be the one to stay at this apartment because he claims he can afford to live here by himself. i don’t really believe him but its neither here nor there because i know i can only afford to live here if i rent with two other people.

my reasons for wanting to keep living here are: i can walk to work, its going to be really hard to find another place that allows TWO cats, my cats are CRAZY and this apartment is perfect for them (lots of windows for passive engagement + a loft area for them to get up in), i have a LOT of plants because the place gets a lot of natural light, to find another place that would support all of these plants will be difficult. & in addition to all of that - my name is on all of the utilities + the WiFi. because he is too irresponsible to take initiative with anything. in a worst case scenario I would be able to move back in with my parents, but that would mean moving to the country where i would be completely isolated and would have to quit my job.

his reasons for wanting to keep living here are: he was the one who found the apartment & he can afford to live here on his own, and he doesn’t want to move. if he has other reasons beyond those he hasn’t told me what they are.

ive known he was a selfish person for years. i mean ive completely given up on ever asking him for a favor because he acts so burdened by it, if he even is willing to do it at all. its my belief that his selfishness is a trauma response due to his upbringing, but yknow, i can only tell the guy he needs therapy so many times before i have to give up to save my own energy. but i can’t help but feel like i deserve this apartment way more than he does. im the one who’s been taking care of it and keeping it nice for us. im the only one of us who’s in any way responsible. so for him to be so hostile about me wanting to stay (he got really defensive about it) hurts me a lot. i want to believe that he’s a good friend but I don’t feel like a good friend would see me move out of an apartment that’s perfect for me just because the alternative would make his life harder. he hasn’t been a good friend for a while so why am i still pretending he is?

so should i tell him all of these feelings? im worried that its going to come across as emotional manipulation. because like… i can’t lie, my main reason for wanting to tell him all of this is so i can stay here and he’ll move out. its hard to not feel like a hypocrite calling him selfish when thats my deepest motivation. but its not my only motivation, i truly do believe that erik is unaware of this behavior of his and that he WANTS to be a good friend, and i wonder if me being honest with him is the wake-up call he needs in that regard? idk. i just want to be a good friend while also standing up for myself. its hard to navigate stuff like this.

so uh. should i tell him i think he’s being really selfish about this? and that ive noticed a pattern of selfish behavior in him? be honest if im being a dickhead about this too and should just give up the place to him like if thats he truth i wanna hear it. it would just kill me to see his irresponsible ass bite off more than he can chew and lose this place, esp since the rate we’re renting at is the 2021 housing rate like its gonna be SO much more expensive to find a place this nice in the current housing market 😭

[tommysspumoni]

Summer Heat

A/N: a new post? After like years of nothing? Lifes crazy. This is an old old draft ive decided to finish.

Pairing: Sam x fem!reader

Warnings: self deprecation, briefly rude Sam?

It was always hot in the bunker in the summer time so wearing little clothes was a normal thing for the two boys. You had known them for quite some time and have been living with them for a few years now. Normally you wear more clothes because you’re self-conscious, but it was particularly hot today and you decided it was time to finally get his attention. 

Sam ignores your small flirtatious comments. Blowing off any sort of sign of your feelings for him.

You threw on a sports bra and small spandex shorts and went to sit with the boys. Dean’s eyes caught your body, checking you out obviously. He made eye contact with you, giving you a silent compliment.

He understood what you were trying to do with Sam. He supported it. Sam’s told him he has feelings for you too.

You sat down across from Sam and opened your book. He looked at you before looking back to his computer. You leaned on the table, pushing your breasts up slightly. He looked up at you again, eye’s flickering down to your chest. With an annoyed eye roll, he looked back to his computer.

“Ouch,” you thought. You did it again and he looked up at you.

“What are you doing y/n?” He snapped slightly, obviously annoyed. You shrugged, eyes staying on your book.

“If you’re not gonna tap that while she’s offering then I will.” Dean laughed. You laughed and flipped him off.

“Not interested, you go ahead, Dean,” Sam said. Okay, owe. Dean flashed a small look of sympathy to you. You softly closed your book before setting it down, harder then you meant to. Both boys eyes were on you as you stormed out. 

What upset you wasn’t the fact that you weren’t getting the attention you wanted but because you were incredibly self-conscious about your body. You put your body out there for him, and he acted annoyed with it. Dean looked at his brother once you left the room.

“What’s up with her?” Sam asked Dean. He just frowned and shook his head. 

“Sam?” Dean said after a moment. He looked up from his computer at his brother.  “Do you ever think maybe she wants you to look at her?” 

“What do you mean?” Sam said, genuinely confused.

“I mean. She’s not interested in me. We all know that. We also all know she’s extremely self-conscious about her body. She just came out here half naked. We both know that wasn’t for me. It wasn’t for her, she probably hated every minute of that. That leaves one reason she was doing that. You, Sam.” 

“Yeah. I’m sure. She totally wants me.” He said sarcastically. 

“I swear, with the amount you two hate yourselves, you’re perfect for each other. She’s told me, Sam. Just trust me on this and go take care of her. Just keep it quiet, I don't want to hear you two have sex.” Dean said, opening his own laptop and turning on Netflix. Sam runs a hand over his face before heading to your room.

You were sitting on your bed, wrapped in a silk robe, just scrolling through your phone when there was a soft knock. 

“Come in.” You said, thinking it might be Dean. Sam opens the door and you look up at him, rolling your eyes when you seen it was him, then turning your attention back to your phone. 

He leaned against the door frame and rubbed the back of his neck before speaking. 

“So I guess I’m stupid.” he said.

“Yep.” you said, not looking up from your phone.

“I’m sorry.” he said.

Feeling annoyed with him, all you said was. “Ok.” 

He stood there for a few moments not saying anything. 

You put your phone down and sighed. “Did you need something?” You asked, looking at him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was a jerk. You didn't deserve that" he said while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"It's fine, Sam. I get it you're not interested. I don't blame you. No hard feelings" you said, going back to your phone.

"I- thats not tr-" he started, but you cut him off. You put your phone down with a sigh.

"Sam. You don't have to explain yourself. I'm a big girl, I can handle a simple rejection." That was a lie. You were trying to hold yourself together until he left. It wasn't the rejection. It was the way it happened. You could handle a simple 'No thanks, I'm not interested' but he was rude about it. That did nothing to help the already crumbling state of your self-esteem.

He mumbled another quick apology before turning to leave out the open doorway before he was stopped by his brother.

"No. Go back in there." Dean said, practically pushing the taller brother back into the room. "This has gone on long enough you two. You both have feelings for each other, are attracted to each other and you both know it! You both hate yourselves just enough to not believe it. Now, you two need to grow up and talk this out like the adults you are." He said before shutting the door and walking away, leaving you alone in your bedroom with the younger Winchester.

You both sighed and looked at each other. You sat up more against your head board and patted the spot in front of you, inviting him to sit. He accepted, sitting hunched over at your feet with his hands on his lap as if to appear smaller, less intimidating.

It was silent for a while before you sighed again.

"He's right, isn't he?" You asked in more of a whisper. He nodded.

"Look Sam, we can just go back to the way things were. Put this behind us. Just be friends." You suggest, even though that's not what you want at all.

He turned to look at you. "Is that what you want, Y/N?" He asked. You hesitated, considering lying and saying yes, as to not make this harder than it has to be. But you can't, if you did this entire event would have been pointless. You subtly shake your head no, so subtle you weren't even sure if you actually shook your head at all.

That concern was put to rest when he said "Me neither." Silence. Again.

"Why?" Was all you could muster.

"Why? You're beautiful, funny, insanely intelligent. You're a badass hunter and a great person. You're kind and comforting to everyone you meet. Why would anyone not want to be with you, Y/N?" He spoke, turning on the bed to look at you head on.

"That's not all true, Sam. I’m a good, kind hunter, but, that's all that could be said about me. Compared to you and Dean, I am nothing. You are an amazing hunter, the sweetest, kindest person I've ever known. You're wicked smart not to mention how attractive you are. I am nothing, Sam. I'm just a burden on you guys, another person to worry about." You said, maintaining eye contact with him as if that will keep you from breaking down.

His face softened. He placed a hand on your knee. "Don't say that." He said simply.

After a few more moments of silence, he spoke again, "Wow, Dean's right, we really do hate ourselves don't we." He said with a chuckle. You let out a small laugh as well.

“Yeah, maybe. We’ve got to work on that.” You chuckled.

“I really do like you, Y/N. I was being a jerk because I thought.. well I don’t know what I thought. You didn’t deserve that, I’m sorry. I think you’re beautiful.” He smiled and you placed your and on top of his on your knee.

“Thank you, Sam.” You smiled.

“What do you say we go for lunch? Preferably someplace with air conditioning.” He chuckled, taking your hand in his as he stood.

“Like a date?” You questioned.

“Yeah, like a date.”

(GIF not mine)

[ins4nebxtch]

fr ending it all tonight cuz nothing seems worth it anymore like okay if im gonna be very honest i dont even get the point of trying anymore like it really really isnt worth it, the year started out kinda rough but i thought eh itll be fine but then like it went on and on and then it kept going downhill and see atp i still had hope that i could turn things around right but then i really don't think i can fix this like ive been trying for an entire year man idt anything is going to be any different. and before ik i was sorta depressed and shit but atleast i had some sort of energy to keep going but honestly I'm so fucking drained like idt im going to keep going. this anxiety ocd whatever the fuck it is im not self diagnosing cuz thats yucky like these fucking voices are genuinely getting too much, like bro wym smth very bad will happen if i dont leave the door hanging or keep my shoes exactly in a certain way or sit there and recite the number of fucking likes comments and shares on every reel 3 times. not victimizing here or anything but this is like -2 points for me no since i have to go through all this also and niggas who ain't gone thru shit in their life like the worst thing they've "been through" is getting scolded by parents for bad marks or sum get to sit here, fuck me over, laugh about it, spread it around to their friends who haven't gone through shit either js so they can sit here and judge me?? and then judge the way i cope w it too cuz they know whats better for me more than i do?? and dont even give me that oh ydk what others have been through like nigga even if they have 1. they should understand how it is and not pull ts and 2. if theyre going thru smth and this is their coping mechanism or whatever, just because your lire is fucking shitty doesnt give you the right to fuck up mine and laugh ab it. you cant outrun shit in this fucking city everyone knows everyone and apparently they love to make it so well known they dont like me cuz I'm some #1 alcoholic slut who apparently doesnt have a single nice bone in her body. i admit i was shitty like a while back but legit everyone who's sitting here and saying ts about me has done the same and some of these people have done even worse shit yet they face no consequencs and get to judge me?? its absolute bullshit. I've done nothing but sit here and fucking pray for things to get better and actually try to become a better person but im not gonna waste my time anymore if everything remains like this. you have absolutely no idea how much I've prayed to god, literally begging to fix atleast one aspect of my life but to no fucking avail and it's got nun to do w me being a bitch or whatever or oh it's js karma cuz i see niggas who've fucked me over 10 times worse having the time of their fucking life so god has no excuses. it's not even for character development anymore like okay bro ive actually been trying 2 change what more do i need to develop?? all these niggas do is judge judge judge like oh she drinks ew like nigga maybe the reason i do is cuz you or your friends dumbass fucked me over so hard that i wanted to kill myself?? would you rather me write yall fucking names in my suicide note and kms so the whole gang goes to prison?? fucking hell im doing these idiots a favour and they have issue w that also like bro atp id buy a fuck b4 i gave one (in reality i care a lot or i wouldnt be yapping this much) anw im done trying cuz if i suggest trying again im genyinely gonna waste 3 lakhs that my parents spent and theyll probably kill me themselves so i dont think i have any other fucking option anymore cuz im not dealing w all of this again. i swear to god bro if i actually die ive got a few niggas who i want paying the price for whatever bs they pulled or istg im gonna haunt them and pull one conjuring scene. oh and another thing ik they say iF yOu DoNt LiKe YouR LifE tHeN dO sMtH tO FiX iT like nigga past full year what do you think ive been doing like if god has this big issue w me then im also pulling one scene w him im going up there to see what his problem is

[dungeonmeshifancast]

aahh.. i just suddenly started missing playing my bass really bad. i have her right next to my bed but i havent played her in quite a while now, i didnt really know how to play super well or anything, im not able to get myself to practice often enough to get that good at playing any instrument. but my best ones are piano and bass i guess.... i used to be pretty good with ukulele too, lol... anyways, im missing my bass rn. her name is susie btw... i dont have the energy to pick her up rn let alone tune her or anything... i technically have needed to get her new strings for a while, but they never bothered me or anything, i mean they worked fine.. i wasnt playing for anyone else so who cares... i really like playing the bass because of how quiet it is. technically i have an amp but, well i dont like playing loud instruments so why would i use that... sometimes ive performed songs id learned for like my family, but most of the time its just in my room, and i just dont rly like to be loud in general... thats why i like playing keyboard, sometimes more than real pianos because i can just turn the volume down... or plug in headphones, but i dont currently have headphones that fit in the jack on my keyboard. on the piano the only songs that i still retain the ability to play, even after not playing for a long time, are all undertale songs... if i practiced just a little i could regain maybe some pokemon songs, and others..but the ut ones i know are very ingrained in my muscle memory. i know fallen down the best it was one of the very first ut songs i learned, in 2016. i only know how to play a little bit of the fallen down reprised, like, extended part. reprised part. whatever. oh and your best friend. that ones short and easy :). i can do once upon a time, but sometimes i forget some left hand bits. and i can do undertale, that ones fun. i cant play the whole song, but its rly fun.. i used to know an ending pretty well, but i didnt retain that unfortunately... and i know/have known bits and pieces of the rest of the ost. i knew some deltarune ones as well, and other songs in general too, obv. i wont describe every single song ive ever learned on the piano. i meant to talk about my bass. i just wanted to say that i miss feeling the sound in my body, when i played it with my chin resting on the top of it, i could feel it in my head + i could hear it more clearly. and it was better if i wore headphones at the same time (not playing anything thru them, just wearing them). the one song i knew rly well on bass is kind of embarrassing so i cant say it. its not that bad but you know. i knew some other songs, my proudest was um.. eighth wonder by lemon demon lol.. because i learned that one like 90% by ear :). and i learned the whole song! yay. i usually wouldnt learn whole songs, i wasnt that good okay..(+ im not someone who can like, sight read or anything. i cant really read sheet music at all, i mean, i know the basics but.....) i guess thats all i have to say. i should eat something.

[freshlybakedspiderbread]

Im here because ive had Reimu thoughts and been wanting to make a post about since a few days ago. By some psychic chance, that ship tierlist happened and gave me further excuse to brain on it.

(Speaking of, on twitter i had fun doing that ship tierlist purely for reimu ships and tweeted that. And then i did it for every pairing on the list but im hesitant to reveal what ships im eh on so if anyone cares to know they can just ask me personally...!)

Anyway, heres me writing out a lot (But Not All) possible reimu character dynamics, be it romantic, platonic, or something else, going roughly by game order or by 'factions' because this is just the kind of thing i think about on the regular

So first among sdm, i like reimu/sakuya, thats a ship ! There's a Lot of reimu pairings where its the grumpy/begruding reimu with another who is unflappable and shady (yukari The biggest example but i'll get to her) so sakuya is just one of many that fill that role. So while its a 'common' dynamic among reimu pairs, what makes this unique is what it offers for sakuya. She's an odd person, the most youkai-like among a group of youkai despite being the only human, and even now can throw them off guard with her quirks. And i think while the likes of patchouli and remilia have long since come to find that charming about sakuya, and the likes of marisa and youmu would be put off even if they otherwise like her, reimu would be the only one who like, doesnt care or think sakuya 'strange' at all. The shrine maiden treats humans and youkai equally after all, and she's hardly a 'normal' human herself, so she doesnt see anything sakuya does or the way she acts as 'strange' for humans. Just a pair of normal women n_n

Speaking of remilia, i dont ship but i do think she and reimu have a funny longstanding relationship as frenemies. Remilia was one of, if not The very first to start regularly visiting the shrine after causing a headache-inducing incident after all. And reimu best represents the wonderful parts that gensokyo has to offer remilia and her whole crew (Marisa too but the witch regularly visits the mansion anyway)

Also while its on my mind, i know there are a few out there who like reimu being a sort of surrogate sister to flandre. The only reason i dont really think much of that myself is because i already completely assign that role to marisa (and uh, i guess okina now too?!)

I'm kinda only mentioning Youmu now because i will be mentioning every other playable character and itd feel weird to exclude her, but its a pretty straightforward friendship in my mind. Both youmu and reimu are (usually, at least on surface) dutiful and semi-serious about thier jobs, and get along decently. I think youmu's always looking to improve herself and sees reimu in particular as a standard to surpass, despite being very aware of all the shine maiden's many faults. 🤔

Also i think it'd just be fun if reimu gets along fine with yuyuko and doesnt ever get irritated with her antics the same way she would with yukari.

Wait back up, i totally forgot to mention Marisa at the start of all this. Uuuuummm!!! Maybe controversial but reimari isnt a romantic ship that excites me much, if at all? 😅 i mean its fine! They've known each other forever! They see each other almost every other day! They're the best of friends who consult one another for almost anything! They're rivals and compete every incident! But its like... they're so close and solid and understanding that i feel it really limits the kind of interactions or stories you can do with them. No hate but 99% of reimari fanwork is like super basic stuff where they enjoy each others cozy company. Not saying its impossible to introduce spice or conflict into it, but it can be hard to not make it ooc, at least in my perspective. 😅😅 so i acknowledge it as a ship but im not looking to get on board or anything.

Fellow magician Alice is a fun pairing too for Reimu. Now mariali takes 'priority' to me, but i do also like reiali. Theres a lot of similar beats, like theyve known each other forever (even though Reimu forgot because shes bad with names and faces of those who dont regularly visit 😅), and alice also sees reimu (alongside her fellow magicians) as someone to challenge. the difference i think is that reimu's apathy towards any sort of 'rivalry' genuinely irritates Alice who already has insecurities about her abilities as a youkai magician. So kinda similar to reimari and even mariali, except alice is a little more... neurotic when it comes to reimu, maybe? Might need to cook this one in the brain a bit more but i do like it! (And then reimariali has plenty of potential just as ship in of itself but also for messy complicated and unrequited different feelings across all three of them... 🤔)so...

okay really quick regarding the yakumo crew as a whole. Reimu thinks Chen is cute enough, like a niece. And Ran... There's a lot i could imagine under the layers where Ran is on the surface a lot more straight-to-business about the barrier duties compared to Yukari, and Reimu can appreciate that straightforward approach and respects it. I dont think i have it in me right this moment to come up with more on the spot, but there's Something there if i ever dig deeper.... ⛏️❓️

and oh my god finally yukari. 👁 Classic ship for me... Now let me just get one thing out of the way, one common idea among fans is that yukari played an active part in reimu's upbrining and training as a shrine maiden, basically playing a mentor/guardian role since she was young. I'm not against this idea in a vacuum, but for reasons which I hope are obvious, i dont subscribe to that headcanon. Now instead of trying to summarise yukarei, how about i just spin a tale...

You're the great youkai sage, Yakumo Yukari, trying to maintain gensokyo for the sake of all youkai. You've got lots of youkai allies ( some of whom you are in love with and some of whom you are divorced with but lets not get into that right now...). You also 'work' with humans on occasion but being a youkai means you gotta make sure to be exceptionally mysterious around em and keep em guessing 😎

Other than the child of miare, the most important human is the hakurei shrine maiden, who maintains the barrier among other duties. You're always aware of generally how the shrine maiden is doing through hearing about it from others, but otherwise theres no reason to actually get involved or meet them personally. Would be weird if youkai were seen interacting with the shrine maiden after all!

One day you hear about the latest shrine maiden, named reimu, helping to put together some kind of 'spell card' system? You go along with the idea, signing it off with the other sages, though it sounds like a fanciful idea and you have doubts if it'll truly change anything in the longrun. The nature of humans and youkai is pretty set in stone after all, so you have to wonder about the shrine maiden's mindset behind such a thing? And later, apparently she solved an incident with these rules too? Maybe you'll wait like another decade or so before you'll find out more about this reimu yourself.

You dont need to wait though because soon after yuyuko's big incident calms down and you think theres nothing more to worry about. That shrine maiden (and two other humans) have crashed into your home, harassed your shikigami, and picking a fight with you just as you woke up from a nap. And then after a chaotic fight, she yells at you to do your job.

So all around, a really striking first impression is left on yukari, who comes to realise, maybe not right away all at once, but gradually, that reimu is not only special, but she can be trusted for any kind of trouble that befalls gensokyo.

Tangent but i wish i could have been there with others during uLiL's release when reimu's urban legend is the gap woman and i could have been like 👀. And that was nothing compared to later acof where the classic barrier team end up being the ones to resolve the incident. The strongest pair?!?! Reimu actually said that!!?!

Anyway this post is too long i'll have to get into Reimu and Literally The Entire Rest Of Gensokyo in other posts later... if i feel like it 🫠

[elio-monroe]

sad

it sucks i dont know when i'll get therapy again so just kinda putting something here so i remember it later i guess. im really struggling right now with writing cherries. and its for a dumb reason. i just can't stop thinking about how im writing all of this, how i've been writing all this for four years. and how im putting all this editing in to it and when im done... thats it. i'll close the document and never look at it again. hardly any of my friends will actually read it, bc its nearly 90k words and im not a published author so they aren't going to want to spend that much time on it. and like thats fine, im not going to throw a fit and force people to do something they don't want to do.

but at the same time how am i suppose to be happy with it when it done. i'll have written this massive thing that i'm so passionate about and well thats it. i keep thinking about how i could say ive finished the edits and its done today. that would be a lie but its the same outcome even if it was true. id say its done and then it would sit and no one would read it or even say a single word about it.

and i guess what im suppose to say is that i'd be happy i wrote something. say that im happy i made art even though no one is looking or paying attention. and im a dick if im upset about the lack of attention.

it just sucks so much. i hate feeling this way. i've worked really really hard to not care if my friends like my drawings or not, i don't care if people don't like my films or want to watch them. but i always get sad about my writing and i hate it because it just makes me a huge dick. like why can't i get over myself? im not even a good writer. im bad at drawing, im bad at filming, and im bad at writing yet i get really really upset at the reality that no one will read my stuff.

i just want this solved. i want my brain to work so that way when i finish cherries and close the tab for the final time i won't be a mess.

and trust me i've tried to stop writing and i just can't. idk if anyone knows how to like force yourself to stop writing my all ears. because honestly its so frustrating to be like this! i'm a nobody!! my life doesn't matter in the slightest and my impact on people's life is equivalent to a fly in their house. i'm so fucking good at being a nobody yet my big ass ego won't let me rest with writing! if i could grind myself down more i would! in fact im trying every day to be less and less!

please brain just give up and let me write in peace. stop tempting me with this idea that "people will really like this one!" no they won't! its pointless to even think about it because you know i'm not making this for an audience. i never wanted to be published. i never want to be known. i just want to make my stuff while no one ever looks at me because if they look at me thats bad. i've done something bad. if anyone even reads cherries that isn't me its because i forced them and thats bad so no one can fucking read it.

[fairytalequeer]

3, 7, 12, and 13 for the ask game ‼️💥💥 (im not typing out the titles for this LMAO) —@cephalophoricboyfriend

YIPPEE!! THANKS!! @cephalophoricboyfriend

ok i went off on this so im making it a read more bc. wow

3: "Dance, Dance" - Are there any songs you strongly associate with you and your f/o? Any specific lyrics from them that really gets you thinking of you two?

yes hahahahaha and i have a full playlist. of these. i will not be sharing that but im going to copy u and shuffle it and then share the song.

thats funny. literally shared this with friends the other day.

so im cheating here a bit but this is kind of paired with his other song in my playlist

i like to imagine "underground" is from the perspective of creature (s/i) whereas "i hear a symphony" is from the perspective of p/ardoes. lol. <- gay

Underground is definitely less clear with what it's about but to ME it's about falling in love- but the feeling is sudden and confusing and even scary with love hitting u like a god damn train. but in the end it's something precious and finally found

I Hear a Symphony is much more (traditionally) romantic. but yknow how it is im all about that cheesy shit. and listen. the person clearly has this. sense of wonder and treats this love like magic he's never experienced before ohhhhh my god

(this whole ask is already long as hell so if you WANT to see the lyrics i feel like just hearing the song/looking up the lyrics is enough to see what i mean. and how. they fit. and makes me think of them)

7: "7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen)" - Do you have any physical items (preferably something other than merch of them) that remind you of your f/o? What are they?

COOL: i have an f/o that DOES have merch

NOT COOL: He Is A Netherlands Themepark Mascot Meaning Me, A Californian, Has Little Access To It

COOL: ive made FRIENDS who have been able to give me THINGS. official merch i have now: a plush of him, a plush of a fishy from his ride, AND gay ass slippers that are like his jester shoes. i also have a lego of him ;w; it's not official but it's super cute and my friend built it for me

i also have fabric tulips i bought bc he's dutch lol. stuff with stars reminds me of him too. which works bc i love stars anyway,,

12: "Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows)" - Are there any interests of yours that your f/o just doesn’t seem to be able to get into? Are there any that they weren’t originally interested in but later came around to it?

yeah i think so! even though im a little bitch with scary stuff i think i am more open to horror than he is. i really love movies and i doubt some of the movies i like would be ones he would ever want to watch or enjoy. which is fine LOL he just has to like the ones im insane about (lotr, for example)

other than that i think most of my interests are something he'd at least enjoy. like maybe he's not as familiar with pet care/animals as i am (i have a Lot of different pets) but he's definitely not someone who is bad with animals either. AND there's gardening, which i really love and would. find his company during it really nice. i think he'd like it too (though not as consistently gardening as i would be doing)

13: "XO" - In what ways do you and your f/o don't exactly mesh well together?

a hard question since i am a creature of self indulgence and like to believe we mesh Very well all the time always. but the closest i can say is that he is much more extroverted and kind in general whereas i Am Not Those Things. he's a performer and i super am not. he's also very smart and devotes a lot of time to study and learning which i dont think i could do.

and on the flip side: he's not as aggressive and blunt with certain things. i think he CAN be very blunt (he IS an honest person and not exactly known to always be polite- mischievous jester and all that) but immediate aggression towards someone is not something i imagine him doing. and while he is also impulsive i think our impulsive natures can manifest in different ways. he probably wouldnt run head first into danger or assume the worst about someone who was being an ass. i (and creature, s/i) do these things lol

[tornad001]

i think addicts generally ARE "different" and "impossible to rehabilitate", largely because uhh... we hate them and don't make an effort to follow known best practices for their care.

"oh im so surprised that cancer is horribly destructive, whatever could we do about it" while not providing chemo or radiation or surgical intervention etc.

addiction might be the single biggest disease that so intimately links your circumstances with your specifics. cancer care is cancer care, to some extent, but some nepo baby cocaine fiend vs an impoverished wretch with nobody to help him are gonna need VERY different paths of treatment. that's why rehab facilities don't work. u can remove the addict from the circumstances that drive their addiction, but then what? they get outta rehab and go RIGHT BACK to the same situation as before. then we shocked pikachu face when they return to using

also i don't think the utter disregard/thoughtlessness we have for shit like alcohol and gambling and nicotine help at all either. they're just too normalized and ive known far too many addicts who NEVER actually deal with their addiction, they just bounce around between different legal/illegal substances. they give up their problems with one thing, but then they just start smoking cigarettes a week later and 3 months after that they're gonna be right back with the original addiction, see cuz u just replaced the addiction rather than dealing with it. and these ppl will be the most defensive because how dare you imply they don't actually wanna deal with their problems. like if u don't wanna tackle a huge fundamental problem u have, fine, but don't pretend like thats not what ur doing

this may sound radical but "some addicts are violent and unlikeable" can coexist with such ideas as "it's bad to act like all addicts are violent and/or unlikeable" and "even the violent addicts deserve access to a full range of options for addiction management, including harm reduction"

[unsafecoma]

YAYAYYA i wanted to do madamemiz's ask game about the DCA because i llike them 🫶 UNDER THE CUT !! ! !! ! !!!

how did you get here?

my hyperfix on the dca started earrrly january this year because i played hw2 and was promptly swept off my feet and ive been sick over them since. id played it before , but started playing again bc i wanted too 100% the game! oh if only id known !!

2. why these characters in particular? what was the hook for you?

originally it was Sun that hooked me onto both of them. hes just so silly!! and such a prissy bitch!! and i love it!! plus i love the idea of 2 separate ids in one body, thats always fun to mess with 😋

3. how long have you been here?

since early january of this year!! though, im not SUPER active in the fandom itself. i just silently enjoy fanart/fics , and VERY RARELY draw and post on my art bog. im not a big participator in fandom itself, im perfectly comfy just watching.

4. have you actually played fnaf sb?

NO. and i do not plan to. the game is too buggy to pay 40 bucks for it, plus i really dont wanna give scott anymore money (fuck you scott cawthon i hate you scott cawthon a million plagues upon you and your life scott cawthon) so ill pass. im perfectly fine with just watching videos.

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed?

THIS POST!! i love vocaloid, and i love the dca, and whats better than combining the two? i was especially proud of myself bc these were animations, which is something i NEEEVERRR to, so id say i was pretty damn happy with these!!

6. what's your favorite sort of art or fic? what genre/flavor/style?

ive still yet to actually read any fics abt the dca (im in the process of reading one about djmm rn <3 its so good i love it so much <333) but im a sucker for angst w/a happy end (the heart wants what the heart wants, and who am i to deny ?)

7. what's your favorite au?

i like aquatic aus for the dca!!!!! i love seeing all the different designs ppl give them ... i also rlly like cowboy/western aus too :)

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of?

not yet, but ive absolutely thought about it!! maybe one day ... (for now though, im happy with my silly little technician s/i hehe)

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else?

I LOVE THEM I THINK THEYRE SO PRETTYYYYYYYYYY i dont really see them as scary from looks alone tbh, like MAYBE moon but it'd have to be rlly dark so it was just his glowing eyes visible. other than that they are just silly billys cutie patooties to me. id pinch their cheeks if i could (i mean i know u can but. ykwim)

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had?

im kept sane by both my own brain's constant thoughts abt these robots, and also the art and writing made by other fans!! i 🫶 images.

11. be honest: if you had to pick only one, sun or moon?

:( i GUESS sun, if i HAD to choose, only bc Moon's the one with the virus. it feels so wrong to separate them. you wound me.

12. thoughts on eclipse?

I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! i hc that eclipse isnt one whole robot, but its a state of being where sun and moon are both comfortably, equally in control of the body. so like ... in a WAY they could seem blended into one whole ai, but theyre both still in there, and have moments of one overtaking the other, while still as "eclipse".

13. thoughts on pre-glitch sun?

I feel like pre glitch Sun was juuust starting to get a bit overworked and burnt out, like right before the virus (and afterwards, it jsut got worse and worse). i think the DCA are genuinely good at taking care of kids, they just slip up often and arent absolutely perfect at it (unlike how they would be, if they were actually made to be caretakers and not theater animatronics). sometimes Sun is too loud, having to constantly remind himself to lower his voice when around more meek kids in the daycare.

he definitely has his moments where he needs to correct himself and remember that he is taking care of young kids, but all in all, i feel like Sun was pretty good at taking care of the kids (much better than he was when he was first moved to the daycare, since i can imagine he was VERY, VERY BITTER about being moved from the theater, but its not like being a theater animatronic was synonymous with despising children, so he wouldn't HATE them or anything yk ??)

14. thoughts on pre-glitch moon?

YKNOW I WONDER does moons voice sound like that bc of the virus, or is that just his voice ? nonetheless, i feel like Moon was good with his job, and maybe a bit better than Sun, only bc i feel like handling naptime would come with less struggles than daytime activities.

Moon was probably so much more gentle, less hunched over and 'scary-looking' when he moved, and rather than punishing kids for not sleeping he just ... actually helped them sleep. yknow ? whether its holding and rocking some of the younger kids to help them sleep better, or maybe one of the kids has something on their mind that wont let them sleep, i feel like Moon was actually really good at his job.

im firm on believing the DCA is actually good at taking care of kids due to what cassie says about the AR sun/moon plushies!! theyre good at their job!!! to a degree LOLLLL

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter?

i interpret them as two separate beings in one body!! i like this interpretation, it feels more fun to work with and is oddly cathartic? emotional? interesting? theres just so much emotion that comes with sharing a body with an entire other identity, knowing that you and them are tightly knit together, whether you want to be or not, because no matter what, you have them, and they have you, and you're stuck with one another. and yes, you and them are different, but you bleed into one another at some parts, at some angles the yellow and blue smudge, and sometimes you struggle to see where 'you' starts, and 'they' begin.

i love love love thinking about how they experience sharing a body with one another, how they maneuver the world and their thoughts. ITS SO FUN!!! THEY MAKE ME SICK.

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of?

WAITER!!! WAITER!! MORE PRISSY BITCH SUN PLEASE!!! ill literally never ever get enough of it.

17. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see less of?

this is ENTIRELY just me, but seeing the dca act all suave and sexy feels mischaracterizing. this tweet literally captures how i feel perfectly

like OB VI OUS LY have fun and do what ur little heart desires, never ever am i gonna bash someone for DOING THAT, but whenever i see them drawn sexily and with abs or anything like that it just makes me wonder if we have the same character in mind. you dont get them like i do. we are playing with our touys in different corners.

18. anything you're looking forward to?

THE MOON NIGHTLIGHT. i have the sun one already and i NEED the moon one so he isnt alone :( i hope they fix up the coloring on the moon one, bc the dark bit looks so weird and messy (im assuming it only looks like that since it was the first look at him, but still!!! i think they should just make him all white, and not make the NIGHT LIGHT dark in some areas, lol???)

19. do you think you'd actually get along with the dca if you met them irl?

this is one of those rare times where i DO think i would get along with them, or at least Sun!! i feel like id definitely be super duper anxious first meeting them, like the enthusiasm levels are a bit jarring, but i really do feel like i could get along with Sun (and maybe Moon ... if this is pre-virus, then more likely, but if its while Moon has the virus .. .. . . . . .. .. .. .. mauybe.)

20. free space! talk about whatever's on your mind!

if i think about the dca and their room and state of neglect for too long i get sick. i get insane and curl into a little ball like a roly poly. they make me so sick. i hate them i need to bite them.

also genderfunny aroace dca forever and ever. ok? 🫶

[zquicv]

why cant it be easier to kill urself like genuenly why does it habe to be hard i want to just be able to fal lasleep and die liek that i want it to just all be over already any time i get any of my hopes up it just all comes crashing down even why things are already bad and theres one bit of hope that things might be abel to be good and i hold out for a month because i cant learn my leson and just give up on hoping already even now haveing all of that stupid hope ruined im still sitting here hopeing that im wrong and im over reacting and that its gonna turn on fine not even good just fine i dont want to be happy anymore i just dont want to be as missurable as i am everyday like am i really that bad and hard to love whats wrong with me why cant people stand me itd be fine if everytime i meet soemone new they dont try and give me the hope that theyll be different and tell me they won leave but they do every single guy tells me he wont leave he loves me no matter how little ive known him for he always tells me he loves me and he doesnt care about everythign thats wrong with me but the second its not convinient for them that all changes and they get sick of me and it happens so offten that i can tell when its happening at this point id be happy if i find some creep on the street who takes me home and strangels me to death as long as he says he loves me while he does it i think thats why i love jh1n cause he not real he cant leave me, i can pretend he loves me as much as i want and he wont let me down if i have a break down mentaly then i can pretend he'll still be there for me hes not gonan judge me or hate me for the same things i already hate about myself i just want someone tel be able to love me but at this point i think its impossible to do and i jsut want people to stop giving me hope so i cant die already and finnaly feel better