#no one was softer in s4 than them it was amazing

[raayllum]

What life do I want? There’s only one thing I really know. Amaya, I want to marry you. I want a life with you. 

[littlelioncub43]

Come On, Angel

Summary: You and Eddie have been exhausted, and sometimes a nice long nap is exactly what you need.

Pairing: Mechanic!Eddie Munson x Best Friend!Female!Reader

Warning: Fluff, sooooo much fluff, idiots in love, friends to lovers (kinda, nothing happens but it's lowkey understood that they're in love with each other), cuddling, forehead kisses, Eddie and Reader being in love with each other and showing it in sweet ways, one mention of masturbation but it's not even graphic, Eddie has been having nightmares but doesn't know what they're about (S4 doesn't happen in this. He's safe and loved and always will be), slight angst, pet names, just—nice things.

Word count: 2,209

A/N: Oh my goodness, I loved writing this one, ok? This was so much fun. It made me feel all sorts of nice things, and I hope it makes you feel all those nice things too. This is based on a thot I shared with my bestie P!R Anon that I just couldn't help but expand. They put up with a lot of my ramblings and they're amazing for that. And so! I hereby dedicate this slice of heaven to them. Here you go, bestie. Enjoy!

Kisses💋

— K

Part II. Series Masterlist

“If I only could, I’d make a deal with God, and I’d get him to swap our places…” Eddie mumbles under his breath with the radio, silently cursing Max for playing that damn cassette so many times. The drive through the slowly chilling streets of the trailer park was quiet, a few solitary cars and trucks passing Eddie’s prized van as he made the journey to your trailer. With the sun dipping low behind the trees, the shadows and wind bit harder than normal and told of a fast approaching winter. 

Your trailer was a familiar shape at the end of the road, a beacon of comfort that pushed his foot on the pedal hoping to cut the journey as short as possible. Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long before he was slamming the rusty van into park, shutting off Kate Bush, and hopping out of the driver’s seat with that impish grin that never seemed to leave his face around you. The door was locked, which didn’t deter him in the slightest. He pulled the mess of keys from his jacket pocket and found the copy you’d given him a few years ago, just after you moved into your own trailer. The moment you gave it to him, he swore that he wouldn’t let it out of his sight, and, surprisingly, he hasn’t. 

“Helloooo!” He calls as he pushes the door open. He waits for a second for a response but when he gets none he slips his jacket and vest on the couch, heading for your bedroom. 

“Lucy, I’m hooooome!” He sings as he pokes his head into your room, immediately regretting the loudness of his voice. He hears a soft chuckle from the lump of blankets on your bed, your limbs slowly stretching as you peel back the duvet from your sleepy face. “Hey, sleepyhead,” he says, much softer this time.

“Hey,” you croak, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you click on the lamp next to your bed, “whatcha up to, Munson? No good?” 

“Oh, yeah, you know me; scaring housewives, stealing cats, sacrificing goats—the whole nine yards, babe.” He grins and slides his hands into his pockets. You giggle again at his silliness and let yourself take him in in all his glory. Eddie Munson looked far too handsome leaning against your doorframe, his frizzy, wild hair illuminated from the light behind him (God, was he an Angel?), dressed in his usual uniform: a well-loved Hellfire t-shirt, black jeans, that God-awful handcuff belt that you secretly loved, and the same pair of white sneakers that he’s had since his junior year. 

“The poor thing, you must be exhausted,” you yawn, even with sleep still heavy in your system you could see that he was tired. 

“Nah,” he winks with a shake of his head, noting how adorable you look swaddled in your blanket. The thought is quickly tossed aside as quickly as he thought it, he shouldn’t think of you like that, you were his best friend. He pulls his keys from his back pocket. “Didn’t mean to interrupt, I’ll leave you to your nest, sweetheart.”

“Noooo, com’ere,” you tiredly beckon to him with a soft smile, “join me in the nest.”

“What?” He pushes off the doorframe to make his way to kneel beside your bed, the grabby hand you make at him has his own hand itching to hold yours. He rests his chin on the edge of your bed, his hands folded neatly. 

“Stay. Nap,” you say, sitting up on your elbow, “I know you need it, I can see your eye bags without my glasses on.” 

“Ok, see, that’s not how to get me into bed with you,” he jokes with a laugh, easily making you laugh with him. He hadn’t been sleeping very well lately, strange nightmares about strange looking bats and massive basilisk-like vines kept him from getting good rest. Then he spent his days toiling away in the garage.

“Com’on, just a small nap,” you pet his arm gently, trying to lure him into agreeing. It was working.

“I don’t have pajamas,” he points out, already caving to your suggestion, you could suggest he take a flying leap and he just might. He straightens up so your eyes are level, subtly searching for more of your warmth. 

“Just ditch the jeans and t-shirt, and sleep in your boxers—which I assume you’re 100% wearing?” You suspiciously raise an eyebrow at him. 

“Yes, mom, I’m wearing underwear,” Eddie sasses at the accusatory tone of your voice. 

“Good! Then you can sleep in those,” you rationalize, your sleepy brain may not make the best choices, but goodness, you were sleepy and you could tell Eddie was too. He clicks his tongue with a heavy sigh, feigning defeat. 

“Alright,” he pulls himself standing and reaches for the hem of his shirt. “Avert your eyes, sweetheart, the show ain’t free.”

“Boooooooo,” you groan and cover your face with a blanket before flopping back on the bed dramatically, earning a chuckle from the metalhead. He was thankful you covered your face so he can blush in private. You’d seen him in his boxers many times before, but this would be the first time he’d be in bed with you, while practically naked. ‘She’s in her pjs, it’ll be fine,’ he tells himself and tugs off his Hellfire shirt. He quickly strips down to his checkered boxers, the chill of the room nips at his skin and leaves him with goosebumps, it mixes with the perpetual exhaustion in his bones. 

Yeah, a warm bed sounds like heaven right now. 

“Done yet?” And there was an angel. As soon as the blanket was over your face, you felt a fresh wave of tiredness crash down on you. 

“Mmhmm,” he hums, trying to remain as calm as possible to fight off the blush that desperately wants to return. You throw open your blankets for him to climb in, reaching for him on instinct. 

Eddie smiles as soon as he sees your pajamas; one of his favorite shirts that mysteriously went missing a week ago and, he hopes to God, a pretty pair of panties. He’s never seen anything more gorgeous than you in his clothes, but you sleeping in his clothes? Oh, he’d pay good money to see that every day for the rest of his life. 

He lets you gently guide him into the spot next to you before he scoops you up to hold you a little closer, an uncontrollable shiver racing up his spine. Boy, he was cold. You nuzzle deeper into his hold on instinct, the feeling of his arms around you always sent your heart a-flutter. The chilled skin of his chest pressed into your cheek as you snuggled in, your hand coming to his arm to rub his skin warm. 

“My God, Munson, are you made of ice?” You joke and curl yourself around him, slinging your leg over his. You swallow lightly when you feel his bare thigh against yours, the light dusting of hair scratched against you ever so softly. If you weren’t so sleepy, you’d be having a mini heart attack right about now. 

“Well, they do say I’m cold hearted,” he teases through a yawn, his eyes getting heavier and heavier with each breath. He hears you hum out a tired laugh but he can barely focus on anything except your leg in his lap and the rhythmic thumpthumpthump of your chest against his. 

There’s a spell of comfortable silence. The room is filled with slowly deepening breaths and two heartbeats. Sleep takes hold of you quickly, your eyes already shut and dreams just about to start. Eddie catches himself dozing and has enough sense to carefully shut the lamp off before relaxing again. 

As soon as the room was dark, sleep came to him and carried him off. 

~~~~~~

There’s laughter. And sunshine. And his favorite Metallica record playing. He remembers you in the passenger seat of his van, passing him a spoon with ice cream on it. He remembers eating the spoonful of chocolate ice cream while never looking away from you. You were smiling at him, and, God, it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The light was red, there was no danger. No bats, or vines or whatever the fuck they were. It was just the two of you and a bowl of chocolate ice cream. What more could he want?

Soft movement twitched in his limbs as he slowly came back from the dream realm. His head was resting on something soft, tresses of his brown hair covered his face but he couldn’t be bothered to move them yet. He felt you stir with him, wakefulness rising in you both. The feeling of his head on your chest was what you could only describe as perfect. You laid on your back with Eddie resting on top of you, his arms bracketing your sides, hands holding the fabric of your shirt that had ridden up in the night. Your legs were spread comfortably for him to fit between. 

With a gentle stretch, you run your hands across his naked shoulders idly. The soothing touch igniting awareness in Eddie as he finally blinks his eyes open. The sun was peeking through the light curtains of your room, the morning birds singing their happy songs in the trees outside. He purrs when you bring one hand to his face, brushing the hair out of his eyes for him. Oh, yeah, he liked that. 

“G’mornin’, Princess,” he rasps, not bothering to move from his spot yet. If he were honest, he wouldn’t move for all eternity if it were up to him. 

“Morning, Ed,” you mumble back with a yawn, still rubbing his back as you finally open your own eyes to stare at your ceiling. 

“'Just a nap,’ huh?” He yawns, his own hand moving to stroke your side, “now, I may not be a smart man, but that was way longer than a nap.”

“Well, we needed it,” you respond with a small smile, the feeling of his calloused hands gliding over the heated skin of your side was equal parts comforting and intoxicating. Eddie let out an affirmative grumble before lifting his head, resting his chin on your sternum. The sight that greets him nearly knocks him on his ass. Your hair is a mess, sleep has made your face plumper than normal, lines from your pillow run along the length of your cheek, eye crusties dot the inner corner of your gorgeous eyes. You look beautiful, like always, but you look real. And the fact that someone as perfect as you were, was real and currently playing with a knotted lock of his hair, blew his fucking mind. 

While he was busy surveying your face, you were doing the same to him. Taking in his own puffy face, drool coated lips, wild hair, and glossy brown eyes. You came to the same conclusion, unbeknownst to you, that he was perfectly real. The smile that tugged at your lips was easy and held all the fondness you felt for the man in your bed. He saw it, the fondness that he hasn’t found anywhere else in the world. 

“Sleep good?” You ask, the tension in the room was too much for you to take any longer. It was enough for Eddie to come back to reality. 

“Like a baby,” he hums and stretches his arms out before propping himself up on his forearms with a sigh. “We are so doing that again,” he says with a playful smirk. 

“Definitely,” you chuckle in agreement and rub your face clear of any left over sleep crusties. It’s then that Eddie realizes that he’s on top of you, he glances between you to see your shirt rucked up, revealing a pair of plain black cotton panties adorning your hips. He bites his lip and takes as many mental pictures as he can for some at at home solo activities. He’s quick to pull his mind out of the gutter when he hears your tummy rumble. 

“Hungry?” He asks, you hum and nod. “One ‘Eddie Special,’ coming right up!” He kisses your forehead, it was too tempting to ignore, before getting up and heading for your kitchen. You listen to the sound of his rummaging through your kitchen and decide to switch on your stereo next to your bed. The normally harsh sounds of heavy metal guitars and drums is a quiet hum when Eddie returns. He comes back with a bowl of your favorite cereal, a banana, and a fresh cup of water— all balanced in his two hands. 

“Wooooow, room service? I should let you sleep in my bed more often,” you reach for the glass of water first and gulp it down. He gets back in bed, being extra careful of the milk in the bowl.

“Yes, you should,” he grumbles through a mouthful of cereal before handing you the bowl. You laugh and dig in, letting the morning go on at a comfortable pace. It’s just the two of you and a bowl of cereal. 

What more could he want?

Part II

Reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated!

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[mdverse]

ur amazing santanaverse drawing made me think of this, and u absolutely don’t have to answer but just for fun, how would u cast the glee kids in wicked? or, if you would rather, who would be who in a wicked au? hope ur having a wonderful day!!

akdjgfd is it sad that this is what pushed me to finally watch wicked? just this ask? the first thing i did upon getting out of bed was trying to find a version of wicked that i could watch online lmao i am a sucker for casting the glee kids in stuff

elphaba:

i think rachel is the obvious choice as elphie? we're all thinking that, right? not only is she a ridiculously talented singer, but casting rachel as the gifted and misunderstood underdog parallels the way she sees herself, especially in the earlier seasons. she'd do great and tbh i would love to hear her sing the non pop version of defying gravity. and i think she'd probably try to fight anyone else who even considered auditioning for the role.

glinda:

ok i have two options for glinda.

first one is quinn. in the same way elphaba mirrors rachel as the generally disliked underdog, glinda mirrors quinn as the popular girl, and i think that glinda and elphaba clashing before becoming friends is also a solid parallel for faberry. it would be interesting to see them undergo the rivals to friends story on stage before it really happens for them. i also would love to see quinn in a leading role! i do have some reservations tho. the first one is that quinn is a pretty reserved person whereas glinda is a very peppy character, so i would be curious to see how quinn portrays that. and the other thing is that quinn has a much softer voice than some of the other glee girls and glinda sings a lot? idk if quinn would really be into that

however, i'd also definitely consider tina for the role! she has a powerful voice that we really didn't get to hear enough of, i'm pretty sure she has the range for glinda's songs, and tina 100% deserved her own lead role moment. i also think that tina getting the role of glinda would be a great arc for her - we know she loves to sing/perform and that she sees herself as an effervescent person but what we actually see is tina often being shoved in the background. imagine a storyline in which tina gets one of the lead roles, gets to shine on stage and really prove to the rest of the glee club that she's just as talented as them! i wouldn't necessarily describe the arc as "shy character gets their breakout moment and becomes confident" because i think it's ok to be shy but like. tina is passionate about performing and she deserved that moment on stage wayyy before s4

nessarose:

i actually think that both quinn and tina could fit the role of nessa lmao. nessa just wants to be seen as a person instead of being treated with pity because she's in a wheelchair, and she wants to be loved. and obviously neither quinn's nor tina's s1 storylines are quite like that but they both felt very isolated from everyone else, especially quinn, so i feel like they could both draw on that to portray nessa? basically what i'm saying is that one of them would play glinda and the other would play nessa and i haven't decided which role they'd each get. feel free to send in your thoughts :)

fiyero:

sam. it's sam. at first i was torn between sam and potentially blaine but. fiyero has very dorky energy. and i was thinking of setting this in s2. and then fiyero became the scarecrow and i knew it had to be sam. just for the tiniest amount of continuity between this and the wizard of oz au. "why should there be any continuity?" you ask. "it doesn't make sense because they are completely unrelated." you're right but i don't care <3 sam is playing fiyero it's official

wizard of oz:

part of me wants to say it's just schue inserting himself into a play like he did with rhps but. casting director md would not let that happen. hell no. uhhhh maybe finn? i think he'd be hesitant about it but the wizard isn't a super prominent role and it doesn't have much singing unless i'm remembering wrong so i think he'd be ok with it. the other main option is probably puck and idk how interested he'd be considering he wasn't there for rhps and only had that one appearance in wss

boq:

i think kurt would make a cute boq ngl. but i think he would've wanted a bigger role (potentially fiyero? tho he probably would've encountered the same issue he did in wss with artie and beiste(?) not thinking he was masculine enough. casting director md would give him more of a chance but i'm kinda set on sam rn) and this is also s2 so he would've been at dalton anyway. i'm thinking mike might've been interested in playing boq, since he wasn't super confident in his singing at the time, and i believe boq either doesn't sing at all or just sings very little. and i'm sure tina would've encouraged him to join in

madame morrible:

i'm incline to just say it's mercedes. i think santana could do a good job too but i don't really know if she woud've auditioned in the first place? i feel like mercedes was more invested in getting a prominent role than santana was in s2 (what with taking on the role of frankenfurter) and santana had other things going on at the time. and tbh i would never be opposed to giving mercedes a part in a musical!

doctor dillamond:

going on the assumption that finn is the wizard and artie is directing, that does actually only leave puck as doctor dillamond. which isn't particularly fitting but i think it would be both cursed and funny to have puck as a goat(?) maybe he and finn would fight over the role of the wizard and then the loser is stuck as dillamond? idk. i'd try to avoid any physical fights tho

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Trickster: an Ethari theory

I've had yea many Ethari headcanons, and I hope I live to have yea many more. Most of them are probably wrong, or incomplete at best. But boy are they fun.

I love to wonder what Ethari will really be like in canon when we get to know him for more than 3 minutes, but whoever he really is on his own, he will have an effect on Runaan , Rayla, and everyone who loves him, because they love him.

The first headcanon I can remember having for "Tinker" was that he could be like Leonardo da Vinci: a genius, creative, surrounded by beautiful ideas given shape by his hands, but also capable of creating deadly weapons, enchantments, and devices with equal beauty, and perhaps not really seeing where the line between them was. It was fun, but Ethari has ended up far softer than my headcanon, and I love and support him in his softness!

After a nice string of Ethari headcanons, this year I've started poking at the Trickster archetype and seeing if it applies to him. And I think it absolutely does!

Tricksters often seem like Chaos. But they're not. They're just Difference. "Chaos" is subjective. Like the "divergent" in "neurodivergent." Who says? Divergent from what, exactly? Perspective matters, and Tricksters have a very broad take on things which allows them to think outside any box people might try to invite them into.

My enjoyment of Loki has brought all kinds of ideas to my dash with the arrival of the Loki show. I've got a copy of the Edda, and I highlighted the hell out of it a couple of years ago as I searched for the roots of Loki's origin story. (It's truly fascinating reading and the symbolic language hidden inside their poetry is dazzlingly amazing and I'm super using it sometime just so you know)

Loki is a Trickster, and he's far from alone in myth and legend. Anansi, Coyote, and Sun Wukong are some you may have heard of. Aaravos is another, of course. Tricksters can be called upon to lend aid and wisdom when the rules don't have an answer for some extraordinary circumstance which the Trickster's people find themselves in. But that's not because they are truly outside the rule of order. They are actually a part of it. They are the catch-all for when the everyday ordinary rules fail people, and something "unthinkable"--in the literal sense--might just hold the answer.

This post crossed my dash today, and something finally clicked in my head, and all of this coalesced from what felt like separate places. But they're not separate, not anymore! Serotonin, baby. It's basically upped my headcanon to a full-blown theory.

What caught my eye was an answer to why Ethari's clothing is so determinedly asymmetrical, compared to Runaan's specifically, but Moonshadows in general. It's because of this:

Long protective sleeves below patterns on shoulders. A high collar paired with a bright and noticeable swoop around the neck. Fine detailing and graceful taste. Asymmetrical tunic point on the left, below broad strappy leather. Knee high boots with stylish protective gaiters.

And let's not forget the curling horns! In some comics, Loki has a broken horn. So does Ethari.

Yes, there is a lot of similarity here, but I'm not focused so much on the visuals as the reason they were chosen. Feel free to consider other aspects of Ethari's personality and how they might be similar to certain parts of Loki's. I did! But I wouldn't be me if I didn't go deeper than that.

My favorite book in the universe (so far) is Lois McMaster Bujold's The Curse of Chalion, and one of the many reasons why is because of her pantheon. It holds five gods, represented by a hand: Father, Mother, Son, Daughter, and Bastard. The first four all have their roles and places. The Bastard--the thumb--inherits everything else. He is the god of all things that do not belong to any other gods, and that includes self-sacrificing vengeance and queerness. He is a Trickster, and his influence on Cazaril's life is far deeper than at first glance. Chaos has its place. It belongs, and so do the Tricksters who engender it. God, I love this book. Please read it if you haven't. Bujold's work is amazing.

If you've seen or read any version of MDZS/Untamed, you know that Wei WuXian is a trickster. Competent and badass in battle, but playful and teasing to the point where sometimes even he isn't sure what he truly wants, he can bring a massive amount of power and focus when he wants to. It's always a matter of "but is it important to me?"

I love WWX so much. The Trickster vibe is very apparent in his character, and in a way you just don't get in Western media. We see him on his own, and we see him with family and loved ones. And he's always feeling something so intensely! He's driven by his emotions, for good or ill. He vibes with chaos, and he will create it if it doesn't exist yet. But he will also create family from nothing, and that's something you don't see enough of! WWX is a Trickster with an emotional preference for joy.

In TDP, Ethari doesn't have a lot of lore yet. It's being Moonshadowed because spoilers for future seasons, and I respect that. The longer the wait for S4, the more ideas I will just amuse myself with in the meantime--and yeah, this is one of them, so what? :))) But we do know a little about him.

He loves music. He loves to read. He leaves his mark on things in swirly form. He works very hard, even through headaches, because what he's doing is that important to him, even though he would much rather be making jewelry. He loves taking the time to polish rough stones into brilliant jewels, and he adores big pretty flowers and had them at his wedding.

Ethari has a temper, but he also loves puns. The weapons he crafts are exquisite: "light, elegant, strong, and clever." And he knew darn well that Runaan was trying to flirt with him, but why return a sentiment he may or may not feel yet when he can play with the overly earnest assassin just a little bit first?

Okay, just... A "simple craftsman" deciding that it's going to be fun to toy for a bit with a broody assassin's feelings? Would you risk that? Ethari got balls the size of the moon, and a brain to match. When he has to make weaponry, he does not half-ass it. Ethari's stabby creations nearly have a life of their own. His creations are literally called "trick weapons." This elf is a lot, okay. And it's possible that he doesn't even know how "a lot" he is. Yet.

We're meeting Ethari after he's found something that is, in fact, genuinely important to him: Runaan, and Rayla, and Laindrin too. Ethari has found a relatively stable place to settle and find a role to adopt. I say adopt, though, because making weaponry for his loved ones is not what he grew up wanting to do. It's what he had to do to keep them safe, once he found a place to bestow his heart.

But in the show, Ethari has lost his family, one by one. First Lain and Tiadrin, ghosted. Then Runaan, supposedly fallen on his mission. Then Rayla, ghosted for abandoning Runaan. He and Rayla have reconnected now, but the rest of his family is still out of his reach. If Rayla has indeed told him, by S4, what she learned at the Moonhenge in TTM, then Ethari may parallel Rayla's journey to seek answers. But even if he doesn't know yet, and gets pulled into some other story arc first, we will be seeing Ethari without his family.

Remember the ATLA episode "Zuko Alone"? Consider: "Ethari Alone."

Ethari has chosen, for love, to fit himself into a box that wasn't of his own making. And now that box has broken. His family doesn't need him to be their craftsman anymore. Perhaps others will need him to be other things to them. Or perhaps he will know that his family does need him, but to be far more than just a maker of pretty swords. A rescuer, perhaps. A healer, a guide? An avenger?

A trickster. Capable of taking many shapes, because he understands them all. Ethari works with form and function. If he needs to transform himself, he will.

That's what Tricksters do. It's delightfully queer and delightfully neurodivergent. Ancient peoples accepted and revered the different among them and actively sought their help with things they themselves struggled with.

Tricksters are Difference. Sometimes that manifests as chaos, sometimes as genius. But if you do not love and appreciate your chaos, it will absolutely turn on you. Wei Wuxian did. Loki certainly has, many times. Perhaps Aaravos is doing so as well.

I cannot wait to see what Ethari does with his difference. I have something very specific that I hope he goes and breaks.

All this from a picture of Tom Hiddleston in his Avengers 1 Loki costume? Yeah. Because Ethari was designed to wear asymmetrical clothing, in a Moonshadow culture that prides itself on balance. Sure, there are some other Moonshadows who wear this or that asymmetrical item, and I do love to see it. But Ethari has the most asymmetrical lines of them all. The meta glee I feel knowing that Moonshadow elves are designed to hold many layers of meaning in their appearances--that the writers, creators, and character designers just flexed with them--is truly a delight.

Ethari is asymmetrical. The full and practical application of that is a glass casket, and I hope it becomes a gift that keeps on giving, because boy do I want to keep receiving it. But right now, I'm genuinely seeing evidence of the Trickster archetype in him. And I really hope it gets to come out and play.

[bossbex]

5x06 Reaction

JARCHIE!!! I missed their interactions so much... like honestly in S4 they barely spoke.  I’m loving the “roommates” dynamic.  

Ok the kevin/fangs/toni apartment(?) is... amazing!!

I love how they hired actual teenagers (or close to it) to play the high school kids... since all the “teachers” were playing high school students, what, 3 episodes ago?? 

Ok mechanic Betty is SO HOT

DORITOS I AM CRYING AT THIS PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Veronica’s taking over the Blue Velvet!!! Why not reuse that set lmao

Thoughts on this initial barchie interaction: 

I’ve seen all the discourse about it seeming like Archie doesn’t care about Betty’s problems, or not taking them seriously, and people comparing Archie’s “oof - that sucks” to jughead’s “white noise” speech in 1x08 (which I thought was cringy AF and I even liked b*ghead at the time) and here’s what I’ll say: 

His “oof - that sucks” comment as MATCHING Betty’s tone - she says it kind of matter of factly and with a bit of an eyeroll, she does NOT seem very upset about it, and she is a grown ass adult who DOESN’T need Archie’s condolences in that moment - and Archie knows that. 

She then brings up Polly, and Archie ASKS A FOLLOW UP QUESTION: “didn’t your mom say she does this? Takes off for a couple of days” which shows that he is referring to a previous conversation about this - they’ve BEEN talking about it and he DOES care (not to mention they showed that he had texted her about Polly at the end of the last episode)

She says she’s trying not to panic - because she knows this is something Polly does and may not actually be in danger - SO HE OFFERS A DISTRACTION during a time when she is basically asking for one, and then SHE COMES UP WITH THE IDEA OF WHERE TO GO HAVE SEX

Anyway I have argued with enough people on twitter about this lol.. I feel strongly.  Also, this scene was super cute and both Archie and Betty look so good in it.  

I love Tabitha.  Smart, enterprising, witty... I’m all for the Jugitha pairing. (seriously though, is a ship name decided for them? I’ve seen Tabhead and Jabitha as well, lol.  

Uhhhhh ok this car sex scene? It somehow feels even more explicit than the shower scene?? The moaning and breathing?? HOW DARE THESE STONEWALL KIDS INTERRUPT THIS

LMAO NIGHT JOGGING

Is it just me or is Sheriff Keller looking really hot? Silver fox??  

I have to note that Archie’s hair colour looks SO BAD in this whole episode but especially this football scene with the Reggie confrontation.  It’s like, almost burgundy? But somehow bright orange at the same time? I hate it.  

Ok Cole is absolutely nailing this “down on his luck, beaten down” adult Jughead.  His character is funny all the sudden?? I love that he kept the money in the tip jar like OF COURSE

Ok Chad coming into Veronica’s class HE’S THE WORST!!! And then SITTING AT THE BACK I HATE HIM SO MUCH FOR THIS

Alright, now we have another scene that has people talking, which is where Archie meets Chad.  My thoughts: 

Archie clearly sizes up Chad.  I mean, he dated Veronica for 3-ish years (in the show’s timeline) so yeah, it’s normal to meet your ex’s new partner and size them up.  It read more like “he thinks Chads a douche” as opposed to “he’s jealous of Chad because he wants to be with V”.  

They show makes a point of showing Betty’s reaction to them meeting.  THIS SHOT IS NOT RANDOM.  Yes, I’m sure the show will go there, she’ll get jealous of V at some point.  Betty thinking that Archie is jealous of Chad is not the same as Archie actually being jealous of Chad.  

I kind of loved how Chad just jumps in here to join in the karaoke night - he didn’t redeem himself from the previous scene where he SAT IN THE BACK OF HER CLASS WHILE SHE WORKED but I like how they’re not playing him completely evil

Next scene: BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! I REPEAT!!! BETTY AND TONI ARE TALKING!!! Seriously, it’s so refreshing that they’re actually letting all kinds of new dynamics and character interactions happen this season.  

Also, NEDSLIST!!!! THIS SHOW!!!!

I am living for Cheryl being completely beautiful whilst yelling at construction workers.  

So like... she actually doesn’t have that much money. She couldn’t really afford the donation for the school... I kind of wish that once she says “I can’t afford it” people would like, not keep pushing? I’m looking at you Toni, whom I absolutely adore, I just wish the writers didn’t make it like Cheryl’s being squeezed dry.  I get that it’s needed for plot purposes but I don’t love it.  

Kevin and Betty are friends again!!! Love it!!! 

Karaoke night thoughts: 

At no point is Jughead hanging out or interacting with the rest of the group.  He stays separate from them - with Tabitha, which I appreciate, but I am just noting this because I’m sure it was done purposefully. 

“She probably forgot it’s Gekko now” uhhhh didn’t Toni announce V as “Veronica Gekko” in the last episode?? LOL THE SHADE

I love Veronica’s voice

Ok so Chad actually comes off so great in this scene?? I guess this is part of his manipulation - come off as such a great guy in front of all her friends to get them to like him? 

Jughead’s reaction to the duet is so me every time I’ve watched people do karaoke lmao

During the “or do you need more? Is there something else you’re searching for” they cut to Archie’s and Betty’s reaction.  Archie is not thinking about V in that moment.  

I am not seeing one iota of jealousy from Archie.  He looks genuinely happy for them.  

This Chad and Veronica bed scene makes me uncomfortable.  But I’m glad they’re showing their softer moments! 

The Archie/football recruitment sequence... Chad in the back of Veronica’s classroom again??? HOW IS THIS HAPPENING I HATE THIS!! Also, this is another scene where Chad looks jealous of Archie... not the other way around. 

Britta!!! I love her.  And I feel like the writers inserted her in specifically for Britta Lundin, former Riverdale writer and acclaimed author (read her book Ship It, seriously, it’s so good), and I love that. BUT THE WAY ARCHIE LOOKS AT BETTY IN THIS SCENE IS THAT EVEN LEGAL

We get the first glimpse Toni’s “Operation Bring Cheryl Out Of Hiding” plan here, when Archie asks her for funding for the football team and says its earmarked for something else (hmmmmmmm... this plan has been in the works for a while... and I’m here for it) 

Ok. This scene where Archie goes to ask Cheryl for money is... a mess.  My first reaction is that it was so OOC for Archie to bring up Jason in that way.  Then I got to thinking... Archie probably would want to honour his dad in that way and was genuinely suggesting that as something that might actually be helpful to her, as opposed to purposely trying to manipulate her.  He knows what it’s like to lose a family member, he just didn’t realize that Cheryl doesn’t grieve in the same way. The boy doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body.  Anyway, now he’s been banished from Thornhill! But don’t we see him (and everyone) there in a bts photo from possibly 5x08? Isn’t that at Thornhill? Will this be addressed or will the writers just forget it ever happened?

I love Betty and Kevin investigating together. It’s so refreshing. 

Ok this place Jughead is going to is legit the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen.  I am having trouble making myself care about this “Mothmen” plot??

Betty’s “Straight to the Point” interrogation style is actually effective in this truck stop stakeout scene.  

Alice again with her wine... I wonder if there will actually be an “Alice is an alcoholic” storyline or is the wine just part of her personality now?

Ok like it’s so inappropriate for a teacher to be wearing an HBIC shirt BUT I AM HERE FOR THIS DRAMATIC VIXENS HALLWAY WALK!! And Toni is correct, Cheer is a sport so sit down, Archie.  Notably Toni adds in “not even Cheryl managed to do that” - I’m thinking she new Ms. Bell would be eavesdropping ;)

WHY IS THIS PORTAIT OF JASON WORTH SO MUCH?? 

Is this Minerva character going to be important?? I keep seeing people talking about how she and Cheryl are going to hook up but is that just because she’s a female character who interacts with Cheryl? I’m not seeing it yet but hey, it’s Riverdale.  

JUGHEAD BRINGING UP THE EPIC HIGHS AND LOWS OF HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL I SCREAMED

Seriously though, since we know Jughead wasn’t there when Archie said that, there’s two options: Either Archie told him he said it, or (my preferable theory) Archie used to just SAY THAT REGULARLY and has said it in front of Jug lmao.

Chad again seems legit supportive when she tells him about her jewelry store plan?? THEY’RE SO UP AND DOWN!!! 

Ok, so Betty is an FBI agent (trainee, whatever) and she JUST NOW THOUGHT OF TRACING POLLY’S CELL PHONE

This scene... when Veronica finds out Chad has been talking to Hiram behind her back... this is where she decides she’s done with Chad. 

Another scene with Archie - I am still getting zero vibes that he’s into Veronica? And zero vibes that Veronica’s into Archie? It makes complete sense that Veronica would want to help the bulldogs.  Chad is a total dick here and is definitely threatened by Archie... again, not the other way around.  Side note: Chad, if threatened by Archie, is a TOTAL IDIOT for suggesting Archie renovates the Pembrooke - like, he’s going to be working? All the time? Where Veronica is staying? And probably taking his shirt off because he’s sweaty from all the working?? WHYYYYY WOULD CHAD ENCOURAGE THIS

This little flirty scene between Jughead and Tabitha (and it’s the first that I would say has any flirty undertones whatsoever) is pretty cute.  

THIS BARCHIE PORCH SCENE I HAVE THOUGHTS

The fact that people are suggesting Betty showed up there because she wanted to talk to Jughead is SENDINNNNGGGGGG

Let’s be clear, she only asked about Jughead so she could make sure he wasn’t home so that she could bone Archie. There is no other interpretation for this. 

THIS IS THE BEST BARCHIE KISS TO DATE

They are playing the song from the porch scene in the pilot... DON’T TELL ME BARCHIE IS MEANINGLESS WHEN THEY ARE USING THIS SONG

I think the fact that this is the first time they had sex and we didn’t see it is meaningful - they are showing that the relationship is deepening and they are more than “just sex”

As Betty leaves, Archie looks like he wants to reach out for her and then stops himself - he is definitely falling hard and he’s afraid Betty isn’t feeling the same way

Ok, Cheryl is straight up wearing lingerie in Toni’s office!!! And the red lipstick is back - notably, throughout the entire show, she has worn the red lipstick as a kind of shield - she never has it for her “vulnerable” scenes.  Seems like that is still happening. AND this is where we see Boss Toni’s plan come into fruition - she started up the vixens and MADE SURE CHERYL FOUND OUT ABOUT IT because she knew that was the one thing that would make Cheryl come out of her Thornhill hiding spot.  Well played, Toni.  

Archie and Veronica announcing the bulldog funding... again, I’m not seeing ANY “romantic/attraction” vibes here? He does react when she says her last name is Lodge again but like, anyone would? 

MS. BELL YOU GOSSIP I’M OK WITH YOU REPORTING TO CHERYL BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT HIRAM

Is Reggie... filing his nails? Lmao

I really hope Polly isn’t dead?? Like I very much want a Polly redemption story!! 

Sooooo I guess Archie and Jughead are both going to die in this fire? Lol... well... they’re main characters so I’m sure they’re good.  

I’m doooone for this week! So far really enjoying the timejump? Obviously because of barchie but also, everyone is just - better. 

Well this turned out to be a novel.  If you made it this far, thanks for reading :) 

[zalrb]

So awhile ago I asked about your thoughts on BA chemistry potential on rvd. And you asked me in turn to breakdown why I believe they have the most chemistry of the show before you breakdown their chemistry in response, which is fair.

So here goes...

I see BA’s chemistry in comparison to other ships on the show, maybe because VA/BH never had much chemistry to begin with and are so stale now(seeing them in your negative chemistry post was amazing ha)?… So I just feel there’s a tangible shift when we do see BA interacting as a pair, where I’m like… wait this is something? Can we see more of what this could be?

I think their dynamic has potential. The way the actors play their chemistry(intentional or not) feels SOFT. BA look at one another and I kind of sigh and go “aw” and could see childhood friends to lovers. I feel their characters could balance. Archie not the sharpest tool in the shed but down to earth, and Betty smart but aggressive. Together having Betty still headstrong but softer with Archie, Archie still all in but thinking first. I don’t believe in characters changing for one another, but I believe in bringing out the best in eachother.

I only explain dynamic because the potential chemistry I see is why I believe the dynamic could work. Riverdale hasn’t give much content for BA to work with. We rarely see BA alone as a dynamic, and yet S4 managed to override that with BA chemistry for me enough to wonder about them. KJ and Lili have a softness around one another onscreen. Though we rarely see it, I believe they’re best friends, I believe Betty is fighting feelings for him and is scared of being hurt. Their eyes and mannerisms feel like them feeding off of one another’s energy.

It’s why I was curious as to your thoughts on the “wicked little town reprise”, because yes it’s pushed romantically with production, but what sells me is BA looking at one another, the softness but also the angst in their expressions. I like some of the scenes leading up, the cheating kiss felt like the “we’ve been waiting for this” type of kiss. But in terms of chemistry I wanted to know what you think. is it just production? Is it that they’re just something new? Are they simply better than the other dismal couples? Do you think they have the potential to be a decent pairing on the show with their chemistry?

So yea… this was SO long… sorry. I’m just always scared to ask you things in fear of having a dumb ask, especially when I love the thought in your responses and admire your blog. But I was just curious about your thoughts in particular on BA even if you haven’t thought about them much, and figured gifs would be a good way to understand your opinions on their chemistry vs dynamic compared to other ships on the show.

OK so thank you for your post and for explaining your thought process and it makes sense but I’m going to hone in on a couple of things:

maybe because VA/BH never had much chemistry to begin with and are so stale now(seeing them in your negative chemistry post was amazing ha)?… So I just feel there’s a tangible shift

There is definitely a noticeable change between this

and this 

definitely a noticeable change when you get this

compared to this

JUGHEAD NEVER FUCKING EMOTES.

In general, people on the show don’t look like they’re comfortable touching, whether that’s Varchie/Bughead or Betty and Veronica, everything is stiff and awkward, like going through gifs I found this 

and I was like honestly, you guys as a cast don’t seem to have moved past that pilot awkwardness and so displays of intimacy or lust or comfort come across as manufactured and staged.

and it can even be something like this where in gif form anyway it seems fine

but it looks like Betty is making a conscious effort to stroke Jughead’s arm, something like this feels like it’s second-nature --- and I just realized Oz is also stroking her back omg I love them

so in the context of the show Lili and KJ look the most comfortable with each other because they look the most like they’re willing to touch each other in a scene when touching each other isn’t specifically dictated by script

and there is at least some emoting when they’re together

which in comparison to something like 

is going to be a breath of fresh air but that leads me to the next part

Are they simply better than the other dismal couples

I would agree with this. Like this

isn’t holding any sort of candle to this

and even though they seem more comfortable with each other onscreen, they still don’t have the ease of people who grew up together their entire lives, they don’t have that fluidity or familiarity that makes me go yeah they have like an intimate knowledge of each other.

Like A-Ra and Dong Man before they get together, I know their dynamic, I know their idiosyncracies and they do a good job in making this feel natural

what is Barchie’s vibe exactly?

they mostly rely on clunky dialogue

and I see they do a flashback of this but where is that familiarity in present day? Even TVD did a better job at making Matt and Elena’s “known-each-other-forever” dialogue more organic and Nina and Zach’s vibe was more organic too (in season one only)

so this is why I always say that Barchie is the least terrible on the show but that’s as far as it goes.

[makeyourownmyth]

best seen in 2020.

My usual caveats from previous years are still applicable here: I don’t watch most of the major nominations the years they come out, and I’m usually not much for theaters and/or current TV. However, due to the pandemic, we watched a loooooooot of content. Here’s just a list of movies that I watched or rewatched this year, that were neither terrible, nor great, but I want to make note of:

Toy Story 4, The Brothers Bloom, Happiest Season, The Peanut Butter Falcon, Moana, Mr. Right, Moulin Rouge, Ocean’s Eleven, Spring Breakers, X-Men: Dark Phoenix (this might have been the worst movie I watched this year?), Widows, Gattaca, Black Klansman, Primer, It 2, Shazam (this maybe should have gone on the Honorable Mentions - it was fun), Training Day, Parasite (OK, now I have to update my Honorable Mentions), The Green Book, Strange Days, Elf, Love & Basketball, Above the Rim, Coach Carter.

That being said, there was some bad stuff, and I try not to shit on any artist’s creations too much, because I know no one sets out to make something bad, but these didn’t work for me. 

Anti

Uncut Gems - It’s not that it was BAD, it was just too stressful for me to enjoy.

Brick - It wasn’t even close to enjoyable on a rewatch that I encouraged my partner to take on for the first time. I felt bad. 

Hereditary - Neither a scary movie, nor a good movie.  

The Witch - Same, but maybe better made?

Under The Skin - Jesus, this was terrible. Maybe I’m not artsy enough to get it?

Now, however, let’s get to the good stuff. 

Honorable Mention TV

Avatar - I can’t legitimately put it on the Best Of list, because I’m not done yet, but I’m on Book 3, after finally actually getting started. I think I tried to start this in 2016, and i know all my nerd friends have been yelling at me for a long time because I haven’t gotten to it yet, and as someone who’s almost done, I can say: they were right! It’s great. 

Ozark - S1 was great. It fell off a fucking CLIFF after that. Ignore people who tell you that you HAVE to watch this. They’re wrong. It’s fine. 

The Last Dance - I know the world is obsessed with Michael Jordan, and I’m glad it came out when it did, but really, all it did for me was confirm that he’s an asshole who was very fortunate to play when he did. And also that the Bulls were fucking phenomenal. 

His Dark Materials - Neither as bad as some of my friends think, nor nearly as good as the books (obviously) but also not good enough that I’ve even started S2 yet, so....I guess it’s fine? 

The Mandalorian S2 - I think they know what they’re doing, and it’s super enjoyable, and I loved the ending, but I’m also curious as to where they’re going now. 

Fargo S3 - Given how good the rest of the series is (other than my distaste for S2, dealt with below, and out of step with pop culture) I thought this one was a misstep, 

Orphan Black - I cannot believe how late I was to this, and how good it still was. It really fell apart toward the end, but the acting was incredible, and the fact that they got to tell the story they wanted to was amazing. 

Best TV

7. All the Smoke with Kobe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R3KIyEgCgc) - Maybe it was just his death, but it hits hard, and I miss him. Does this even count as TV? 

6. Looking for Alaska - It felt like gratuitous masochism to watch this and enjoy it, being 20 years older than when I fell for it, and feeling ashamed of the young person I was, but even knowing what was coming, I was weeping when it happened. Even knowing that they were ultimately going on a fruitless search and yelling at the TV while the Colonel and Pudge were searching for “signs” and hating them for it, I remember feeling like everything HAD to happen for a reason when I was this young... So yeah. It’s pure nostalgia for me. I’d be super interesting in hearing how kids responded to it. 

5. Locke and Key - I get that some people feel like they don’t need old shit in a new medium, but for me, I’m always up to try it out. If it’s fun, I’ll stick with it. And this is. It’s fun, it’s got some of the old shit, it’s got some new shit, and it’s a treat to see my favorite comic of the last decade in a new medium. Haters need a new bit. 

Fargo s1 and s4 (I didn’t love S3) - I know that I’m in the minority here, but I think 1 and 4 are the best and 2 was good, and 3 was fine. I literally watched all of this show this year, though, so I didn’t have the same time to digest as others. But I think that’s a benefit in some regards? 

4. Magicians s5 - One of the saddest conversations of the last year to two was when a nerd friend of mine said he didn’t like The Magicians because all of the characters were whiny and self-indulgent. For me, that was almost literally the point: they shoved Q into the corner and told the story of the others (at least one episode quite self-referentially so) and it was so much better for that. I wish it hadn’t ended, but I’m glad they left it where they did, because it was so good.  

3. Devs esp. The beginning of e5 - Jesus. The show of the year? Except for the fact that Watchmen came out at the tail end of last year, and I didn’t have it on my 2019 list? I mean, honestly, is there a show more tailored to me? I’m not gonna get into any spoilers, but it’s a quick watch, and it’s fucking fantastic. Watch it, have your mind blown by the concept, especially in the beginning sequence of E5, and then stick around for the subpar ending where basically all of the threads are resolved in the least good way. 

2. Watchmen - This deserves multiple re-watches and all the praise that people heaped upon it. 

1. The Good Place - I know, objectively, that Watchmen was a better show than The Good Place. But this is my list, and I’ll be damned if anything overtakes my favorite sitcom (maybe of all time?) for best of the year. I know it barely just ended this year, and there’s plenty of acclaim to go around for this show, but honestly, every time I talk to anyone about it, it feels like they kind of laugh it off. This show is not only worth your time, but should almost be considered must-watch material. If more people watched this show, we wouldn’t need the insult “sophomoric” to describe people who’ve just had their minds blown by Philosophy 101, and we’d be better off as a species. 

Honorable Mention Movies

In this order, and you can take the comedies and make them the only honorable mentions, if you’d like to make a nice, even top 10. (Until I saw Tenet the night before I posted this.( (And then I looked back at the playing cards that we use to randomly choose movies and I found that I needed to modify the Honorable Mentions and the Best Of lists.) 

21 and 22 Jump Street - In general, I’m not a fan of comedies. So I’m happy I watched these, thanks to Nathan Zed, and they’re funny. Good work guys. 

Palm Springs - Apparently there’s now backlash against Groundhog Day? I dunno, man, it was fun, and all the actors seemed like they were having a good time, and I was down for it. 

Parasite - I can’t add anything to this that hasn’t already been shouted from the rooftops, so let me just briefly say that I thought it was great, but it didn’t quite make the list of best. The combo of genres was great, the cast was fantastic, but what I loved the most about it was how quiet it was.

Best Movies

10. Blinded by the Light - Way more resonant than I thought it’d be from the previews, and I already thought it was gonna be stellar. I didn’t take into account TIME along with place, and that made a hell of a difference for this movie. 

9. Shoplifters - Yeesh. What a tough watch, but so good, and so necessary. For me, I think we watched it back to back to back with Parasite and I, Tonya, and this one just stood out so much more. The storyline was softer all the way through, but really had gravitas simultaneously. 

8. Tenet - It was fucking fun! I don’t get the hate! I liked it, I’ll like it more next time I see it, and I wish I’d seen it on the big screen, but I’m super glad I could see it on my TV! 

7. I, Tonya - Geez, what a powerhouse of acting. Not only did they get me to feel good about the villain of my childhood, they got me to feel good about Margot Robbie, who I’d only thought of as a hot lady before. Superb acting from everyone else, too, and what a great pick up to be like, yeah, this is the story we’re gonna tell. 

6. I Am Not Your Negro - I avoided watching it for so long because I was already depressed this year, and I didn’t think I needed any more of that, but it turns out I did, and I always do, from Baldwin. He’s a master for a reason. 

5. Hamilton - I know there was some backlash with the time difference, and I’m sure it was better to see it pre-2016 in the theater, where it’s meant to be seen, but I’m not a billionaire New Yorker, and I was plenty happy to see it when and where I could. 

4. Won’t You Be My Neighbor - I mean...what do you think? It’s so much exactly what you’re thinking it is, but then it’s even better, because it’s the real deal, and he was so good, and it’s so pure. Watch it. 

3. Her Smell - Elizabeth Moss has already gotten all the acclaim, but to play this different of a role, in a movie that felt as stressful as Uncut Gems, but pulled off an actual plot so much more successfully? I can’t believe this one didn’t get more pub, but then again, yes I can: it’s a movie about a girl band that rages against the machine, and she’s got severe issues. Small surprise that the people didn’t react well. Seek this one out! 

2. Arrival - Yes, I am going to totally cheat and put a movie that’s appeared on my list (sooooo long ago) as the #2 entry this year. You know why? Cuz fuck 2020, and this is a great movie, and it’s the movie that made me feel second best this year. It’s incredible, and I know people appreciated it in its time, but I feel like they should appreciate it even more. 

1. Moonlight - It’s not a shock, nor am I trying to appease anyone with anything. It’s just that I finally watched it, and it’s the best movie I saw this year. I don’t think I could possibly add anything to the authentic critics who have already heaped praise upon it, but I do have to say that it’s all due, and so much more. The acting obviously stands out, but the direction, from the color palettes, to the choice of when and where (and how) to break it up, are all masterful choices.  

[amillioninprizes]

A Tale of Two P.I.s: How Stumptown Succeeded Where Veronica Mars Failed

A hardboiled female private eye with a drinking problem, a litany of temporary sexual partners, and trauma resulting from her romantic soulmate dying in an explosion that’s partially her fault solves mysteries.

This could describe either the freshman ABC show Stumptown, starring Cobie Smulders as military veteran Dex Parios, or Rob Thomas’s intended vision for an adult Veronica Mars in the wake of the recent S4 that aired on Hulu. Many VM fans turned to the former after the supreme disappointment that was S4 in order to get their kickass lady detective fix; a common refrain that I’ve seen is that Stumptown is the show that adult Veronica Mars should have been. Notably, Stumptown was recently renewed for a second season, while Hulu has declined to order more seasons of Veronica Mars. Now that the pain of VM S4 is less fresh, I recently watched the first season of Stumptown to see if it was worth the hype. Here are the reasons why I think that Stumptown has been renewed for a second season while Veronica Mars has, much like Susan Knight, been left dead in the water:

Dex is a competent detective

Like, I shouldn’t even have to say this, but: if you’re going to make a show about a private investigator, that character should be able to crack cases. Rather infamously, Veronica did not solve any mysteries in VM S4: Keith solved the bomber mystery, Logan solved the congressman blackmail mystery, and Vinnie solved the missing ring mystery. Veronica just kind of floated around being a mean party girl.

Meanwhile Dex, despite being less experienced as a detective, uses her smarts and background as a military interrogator to solve the mystery of the week. She notably utilizes disguises and undercover work, two former features of Veronica’s investigating that were missing in S4. The show also makes a decent attempt to portray the realities of her having to obtain a license to be a PI and work legally, including an internship and dealing with consumer complaints. Contrast this with the proposed future seasons of VM as a traveling detective--something that would be nigh impossible giving licensing requirements.

I think the contrast between the two’s abilities can best be seen in their opening scenes of the season: Dex, at the casino, is able to suss out a married dude hitting on her pretty quickly, comprehensively listing his tells. Meanwhile, Veronica’s first scene in S4 has her randomly smashing a client’s belongings to find hidden cameras and then unprofessionally overcharging her. If that’s how she treats clients, it’s no wonder that Mars Investigations is financially struggling at the beginning of S4.

Stumptown also does a better job than VM S4 of showing why the protagonist chooses to be a detective. For Dex, it gives her stability and a sense of purpose that had been lacking since her return from Afghanistan. On the other hand, Veronica is shown to be somewhat dissatisfied with her life in S4, but it’s never explicitly addressed why; it’s also not examined why she remains in Neptune as a detective when she could use her Ivy League law degree at any time and live anywhere, especially when she appears to no longer have a talent for being a detective. Logan briefly broaches the subject in one scene, but it’s dropped just like every other VM plot thread.

Dex is a marshmallow

As has been covered extensively elsewhere (including the pages of this very blog), probably the largest issue that people had with S4 of Veronica Mars outside of Logan’s death was Veronica’s characterization. Rob Thomas said in interviews that he told the writers this season to write Veronica like a porcupine; the end result was a portrayal that dialed all of Veronica’s negative traits to 11, added new ones, and completely removed the softer aspects of her character that made her such a compelling and complex protagonist. There was an attempt to give Veronica an emotional connection to the bomber mystery via the character Matty, but for most viewers it didn’t resonate due the flat affect of both actresses and poor writing. It was hard to feel like Matty was a sympathetic underdog when she had a wealthy mother ready to whisk her away to Paris for Spring Break. Veronica also doesn’t appear to have retained her former drive for justice; she mostly seems interested in collecting a paycheck (and if that’s the case I again ask why she isn’t using her Columbia law degree). She also weaponizes her white womanhood against a Latino teenager. What a great role model!

Contrast this with the also outwardly caustic Dex, who initially IS only in it for the paycheck. First off, even that’s somewhat noble in that she needs to take care of her adult brother with Down’s syndrome. Yet she quickly finds her sense of justice overcoming her desire to make bank. We see this early in the season when she turns against the PI she is shadowing in order to help a young mother obtain custody of her child from her wealthy, abusive ex-husband. This is also seen when she brokers a deal to protect the privacy of the biological child of a political candidate she’s been hired to find dirt on.

Dex also relies heavily on her support system--namely her brother Ansel, best friend Gray, food truck purveyor Tookie, and even police detective Hoffman. She resists her brother moving out because she’d be lonely without him, and her entire found family are instrumental in helping her with her cases. This isn’t necessarily different from Veronica per se, although Veronica treated her loved ones cruelly in S4. Additionally, Rob Thomas wanted to continue the show without them, despite how heavily Veronica relied on them both to help her with cases as well as emotionally.

Stumptown also shows that even if Dex hasn’t fully processed her trauma, she is capable of growing. She makes nice with her high school enemy after clearing her daughter of suspected drug dealing. Contrast this with Veronica, who punched her high school nemesis at her high school reunion (and for the five millionth time, no one wanted to see that) and was shown to have regressed as an adult to be more immature at age 35 than she was at 17. That didn’t make her seem more cool or noir, just sad.

Also, Dex actually manages to brush her hair. (But srsly I need to know how they get her hair to do that great wavy thing).

Dex’s trauma is thoughtfully addressed

As a corollary to the above point: there was obviously Something Wrong with Veronica in S4, but the show didn’t bother to explain what had transpired between the end of the second book and S4 to explain her seeming personality transplant; as a fellow fan has said, the show pretended to deal with her trauma but glossed over it in reality. For example, in addition to depicting her as being depressed and cruel to her loved ones, she is shown drinking heavily and doing drugs, both of which are out of character for her. Yet the show seems to glamorize it; none of her loved ones express any concern about this behavior and there are no references made to her alcoholic mother, whose actions negatively affected her growing up to the extent that Veronica had previously expressed wanting to avoid becoming like her. But despite the fact that she was obviously struggling with something, Rob Thomas and Kristen Bell stated that they needed to kill Logan because Veronica was somehow not traumatized enough. Apparently, putting Logan’s ring on her finger just magically erased her previous issues (unrealistic and harmful messaging to trauma survivors), and he needed to die because women can only be interesting if they’re damaged (misogynistic). Adding insult to injury was Rob Thomas’s assertion that Logan’s memory wouldn’t play much of a part of the show going forward because it would be too depressing and he needed Veronica to not be consumed with thoughts of him while engaging in “strange sex”, whatever that means. Yeah Rob, it would def be realistic for Veronica to just get over the fact that her husband and love of her life died of a bomb due to her oversight in a year and then continue on her merry way without any support from her loved ones!

Stumptown, however, explicitly connects Dex’s self destructive behavior with her past trauma: in the very first episode Dex is shown frantically texting contacts for a sexual hookup in the midst of a PTSD episode. The most powerful scene of the entire season in my opinion is one where, after experiencing a flashback to her time as an interrogator in Afghanistan, she goes on a bender at home and trashes her house to the soundtrack of Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain.” (As an aside, I would also like to point out that Stumptown deftly portrays the trauma and grey morality associated with military service, which could have been an amazing (and noir!) storyline for naval intelligence officer Logan in future seasons of VM if Rob Thomas wasn’t such a dimwit).

Additionally, the death of her not quite-fiancé Benny hangs over her, even though the event took place twelve years prior to the start of the series. Even before Benny is introduced onscreen in flashbacks in the penultimate episode of S1, the show does a good job of portraying just how much he and their relationship meant to Dex. The season culminates in Dex finding out that his death in an explosion in Afghanistan was not in fact her fault, as she had previously assumed. Interestingly, the show’s writers considered revealing that Benny had faked his death, but the head writer later stated in an interview that doing so would invalidate the trauma Dex had experienced for 12 years and would ultimately be cruel. While on a shallow level I wouldn’t have minded them bringing Benny back since the actor who played him was super attractive and had great chemistry with Cobie Smulders, the decision the writers made instead makes more sense for the world they have built and is far more thoughtful: it allows Dex to obtain a sense of closure and growth while respecting her grief.

Women over the age of 35 aren’t Satan

A criticism of VM since it originally aired is that the show generally portrays female characters, especially mothers and other women over a certain age, in a negative light (and Rob Thomas has been defensive about it just as long). The books partially rectified this by introducing the characters of Petra Landros, the former model turned owner of the Neptune Grand, and Marcia Langdon, the new Balboa County sheriff with a murky past. Marcia was brought back for S4, but considerably dumbed down and less complex than in the books (and there’s definitely something to be said that the first time a BIPOC woman is shown in a position of power on screen in VM that her character is diminished).

Stumptown, on the other hand, has two women as older female mentors/nemeses in positions of power: Sue Lynn, the matriarch of the local Native American tribe, and Lieutenant Cosgrove of the Portland PD. Both have complicated relationships with Dex: Sue Lynn ended Dex’s relationship with Benny, her son, yet repeatedly seeks her out for help with matters on the reservation. Lieutenant Cosgrove often finds herself at odds with Dex while the latter is attempting to solve a case, though she also encourages her to legally obtain her PI license. It shouldn’t be revolutionary to have complex older female characters as supporting cast on a female-centered show in 2020, but after 15 years of misogyny from VM it certainly feels refreshing.

Where Stumptown falls short

All of this is not to say that Stumptown is flawless. Despite my praise for including older female characters above, the show is still pretty dude heavy, especially Dex’s inner circle. The mysteries of the week are of fairly average quality, and several were reminiscent of some seen in VM’s original run--the season even ends with a “Who’s at the door?” gambit. I also didn’t love the storyline where Grey’s girlfriend gets Dex drunk and tricks her into thinking they had slept together in order to drive Grey and Dex apart--that felt like something out of the mind of Rob Thomas. It also bears mentioning that in the context of current events the generally positive portrayal of the police department and Dex’s close relationship with them should bear more scrutiny. And while the show is well done overall, it never quite reaches the emotional resonance of original flavor VM (but then, neither did VM S4).

Despite those quibbles, I think it’s a good show overall. I felt like as the season progressed the creative team figured out what worked and the cast seemed to gel together. I love the classic rock soundtrack (another area where VM S4 failed, given that it abandoned VM’s signature indie soundtrack for generic pop music), which in conjunction with Dex’s wardrobe gives the show a fun retro feel. By the end of the season I was firmly won over, and I look forward to S2. Hopefully the writers of Stumptown paid attention to the backlash to VM S4 as a lesson in what not to do going forward.

[mymusicalnostalgia]

Three Gilmore Episodes I Love (Spoilers Ahead)

The Festival of Living Art: S4 EP7

This episode is one of my favourites mainly for it's awesome concept; the town paint themselves and create amazing stage scenes to recreate famous paintings.

The episode centres around Lorelai's past indiscretion of flinching when she participated in the event many years ago and her fear of repeating it thus letting the town down. Meanwhile, Sookie is expecting to be a Mother any time soon and so pressure is mounting for the Gilmore Girls to be available at the drop of a hat. What could happen?

A-Tisket, A-Tasket: S2 EP13

I am Team Jesse, let's get that out of the way upfront.

That Marlon Brando/James Dean bad boy thing he does is catnip to me. Even better, his constant competition with Rory's current boyfriend Dean makes my heart flutter!

In this episode the town hold their annual Picnic Basket Auction which means the winning bidder not only gets to eat the contents but also get to share them with the baskets creator. Tension is at an all time high when Jesse outbids Dean for Rory's basket.

This episode shows Jesse has a slightly softer side to him, but also there is more to his interest in Rory than the cat-mouse game that he has been playing. 🦋🦋🦋

Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life: S1 (aka S8) EP 4

The wedding we have always wanted to see. The wedding I didn't know I wanted. The wedding to make all other weddings look like trash. I cried real tears. It was beautiful. It is the most amazingly decorated wedding in history.

What more can I say? I feel like the video says it all.

Warning! This video contains SPOILERS:

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Anons wanted an explanation for the placements I had on my previous tier list, but upon going back and looking it over, I realized that I wanted to move a few characters around, so I ended up getting a new template and remaking it. 

I wrote little bits about each character [yes, each one] below the cut, but be warned, it’s long. 

SS  

“I love you so much that I would sell my soul to make sure you’re happy”

Lee Everett: Lee is a goddamn legend. He deserves to be at the very top. He’s one of the best protagonists I’ve ever played as in a game, his backstory is incredibly interesting, and his relationship with and dedication to protecting  Clementine never felt forced and is one of the highlights of S1. Even now, having replayed S1 a million times, seeing him get bit and slowly become weaker and weaker as he refuses to give up on Clementine still breaks my salt encased heart. Watching him die in the end never fails to put that lump in my throat. I love him.

AJ: I love this kid. I was so worried that they wouldn’t do him justice when the game was announced and I saw the trailer, but I was floored by just how much I grew to love him. He feels like my kid, my responsibility and I want him to grow up strong and smart, but also human. His voice acting is terrific, and I think he’s one of the best child characters we’ve ever been given in video games. His relationship with Clementine rivals Lee and Clem’s relationship and that’s what I wanted. This kid earned his place at the top. 

S4 Clementine: This Clementine is my absolute favorite. While I love all the Clementine’s across the four seasons, I feel like she truly hit her peak in S4. I fucking love her, I’m proud of who she grew up to be, and seeing her journey to this point only solidifies that she’s my favorite. She’s strong and stern, but she has her softer moments with AJ and Louis/Violet, and what else is there really to say? She’s Clementine.  

Louis: ....Do I really need to explain this? I mean, c’mon. If you’ve been following me for a long time- shit, if you’ve only been following me for a few minutes, then y’all know how much I love Louis. I can say with 100% certainty that Louis is my favorite non-playable character across all four games. I’ve made numerous posts, answered over a hundred asks, written thousands of words about him. Everything about him from his character design, his personality, his traumas, his voice acting, his expressions, his relationship with Clementine and AJ and Violet and Marlon and everyone- He’s the best. I love him. 

Rosie: Rosie is the bestest girl in the world. ‘nuff said. 

S

“I fucking love everything about you.”

S1 Clementine: Alright, before y’all come at me with the whole “Why isn’t little baby Clem SS tier you monster??” let me explain: I adore S1 Clementine. She’s still in S tier, after all. However, after playing through these games several times over again, I realize that this really is just the beginning of Clementine’s character and her growth. She’s lovable, she’s cute, and I want to protect her, but she’s not... a compelling character? She doesn’t fully come into herself and develop a stronger personality until S2. Like I said, I still love her and I can’t deny the impact that she had on the characters and us players, but she’s not my favorite Clementine of the bunch. 

S2 Clementine: I fucking love S2 Clementine. I’d actually say that she’s my 2nd favorite Clementine. I give S2 a lot of well-deserved shit, but she is the high point of it all. Something about her character is compelling to me, like how she’s stuck with a bunch of adults who underestimate her yet want her to do everything for them and she just... is so done with it hahaha. But her growth is what it really does it for me. We went from little baby Clementine who whimpered at a small cut on her finger to a Clementine who fucking sews her own arm up, covers herself in walker guts with barely a flinch, can shoot a gun with great accuracy and take down walkers like they ain’t shit, and can survive and make her own decisions. Also, her instant connection with AJ is great. Love it. Love her. 

Javier Garcia: Yo, I love this beautiful man. This man is honestly the best part of ANF, and without him it would’ve been such a shitty game. I found his backstory as an ex-professional baseball player booted from the league for gambling a cool concept. He’s hilarious and charming, too. Honestly, he deserved a better game with better, y’know? The only reason he’s not SS tier is because of the writing and his nonsense with Kate when you don’t want to romance her. It makes it seem like he led her on and then was like “Wait nevermind lol” which is annoying, but other than that, he’s great. Love his relationships with most of the characters, and the ending he got was pretty good. 

James: I don’t talk about him as much as I should because I find James fucking fascinating. If they ever made a DLC or a mini-game for twdg, I want it to be about James and his journey in finding and joining the whisperers, his relationship with Charlie, and how he escaped them. His views on walkers, his survival and killing skills, his past traumas haunting his every moment for fear that he’ll revert back to what he was, his extreme pacifism that ironically turns violent- just what a cool fucking character. And while he has his wild moments [cave scene, anyone? “Oh ouch!” hahahahahaa] he’s still one of my favorites. 

Violet: Oh, Violet. She’s amazing. I love her so damn much. If there’s ever been a character that I see a lot of myself in, it’s her.... which is why I tend to be a little harsh with her sometimes, but I can’t deny that she’s one of the most well-written characters across the whole series. She’s not perfect [both she and Louis do have their tiny inconsistencies that I blame the writing for] but that’s a good thing. And while I don’t ship her and Clementine, I 100% get why a lot of people do. Their relationship is adorable and way more compelling than her previous relationship with Minerva. 

A

“I love you <3″

Carley: My beautiful girlfriend... you were taken away far too soon. Carley’s one of my favorite characters from S1. I wish we could’ve had more time to explore a relationship between her and Lee, but what we did get is enjoyable. She’s a badass, and I will always love the moment she tells Lilly off for being a little bitch, even though it results in her death. Not a day goes by where I’m not salty about that one. 

Molly: Molly’s a goddamn badass. She scales buildings like it’s nothing, she named her weapon Helga, and her backstory with Crawford and her sister is terrific. Also, she’s funny and I love her. That’s that.

Omid: This dude was literally a light in S1. He brought us some humor when we needed it [ “...You broke that dude’s face.” ] and his relationship with Christa was so sweet. Also, him and Lee bonding over being history nerds? Yes, please. It’s bullshit that he was killed off two seconds into S2 but hey... S2 had a lot of bullshit in it so...  Justice for Omid 2k19. 

Luke: *deeeeeeeep inhale* Big Brother Luke did not deserve that bullshit. Literally one of the best characters in S2 and y’all just.... did him dirty like that. And for what? To make room for Kenny and Jane? Bull. Shit. Luke was so damn good, and the only reason he’s not higher is because of what they did to him after ep3. He starts out so kind and supportive and seriously like a big brother character then SUDDENLY he’s stupid and “makes it” with Jane while walkers are trying to eat us and then he gets himself shot and then fucking dies and akjsjdlkjasdkjaslkjasdklerwedascasads- 

S3 Clementine: ...So, here’s where y’all will probably get pissed. S3 Clementine is my least favorite of the bunch. Don’t get me wrong, I still love her and she is still in A tier, but... how do I explain it? She’s in her 13-year-old, emo/angsty phase and it’s hilarious when it shouldn’t be. There are moments where I do become emotional for her, like when David takes AJ away and Javi hugs her, or when Gabe dies and she’s saying goodbye, or when she gets her first period, y’know moments like that! BUT... then we have moments where Javi goes to talk to her and she’s all “HAVING PEOPLE IS GREAT AT FIRST BUT EVENTUALLY EVERYONE DIES” or when she straight up shoots that guy who gave her faulty bullets OR WHEN SHE’S LIKE “IMMA KILL ME A LINGARD” AND.......... it’s too much for me! I can’t take her seriously when she’s this angsty, even when I understand why she is the way she is. Again, to reiterate, I still love her but in ranking all four Clementines, she comes in last for me.... and I can already hear the shit that’s gonna be thrown my way haha

Conrad: The most underappreciated character in S3 and it’s nonsense. Don’t come for me, but this dude is my favorite npc in S3. I love Conrad, and I wish we got more of him. He does have his own little arch if you keep him alive through the end. His grief over Francine is heartbreaking and his downward spiral that leads him to act out and threaten Javi, Clem, and Gabe so that he can get his revenge is wonderful. And btw, he does apologize for pulling the gun on them and makes up for it in the future. And y’know what moves him up into A tier? The moment you let him kill Badger. One of the best kills of the game. I prefer it over beating the shit out of Badger myself. 

Aasim: This boy is my son, and I’m sorry, but he’s really fucking cool. You’ve got this kid who was sent to Ericson for being a pyromaniac [according to Kent, it’s not actually mentioned in game] and grew into this guy who documents everything so that they’ll have a form of history to look back on and help not repeat mistakes. His banter with Louis is funny, and even though he gets fed up with Louis for not taking anything seriously, he still cares deeply about him given how he reacts when Louis loses his tongue. His crush on Ruby is adorable, too. I just love him, he’s great. 

Marlon: Now, originally I put Marlon in a lower tier [the “I like your role in the story” type of tier] but upon reflection I actually find Marlon to be a compelling character. He’s high on the list because of how well he’s portrayed. Marlon has some of the best voice acting across all the games. There isn’t a single moment where I don’t believe what he’s saying, which says something. There are moments where Clementine will say something and I go, “Really? That’s the take they went with? Okay...” but not with Marlon. For only being in ep1, he played his part really fucking well. I won’t defend any of the shit he pulled because it’s awful, but I understand everything he did. He is a coward, a sheep hiding in a wolf’s coat, pretending that he’s got everything under control and putting all the pressure of a leader onto himself and it eventually breaks him. I know they killed him off to further the plot and show how ruthless AJ can be as a child growing up in the world, but I wish he survived past ep1 so that we could really get into the meat of his character. I’ll say it: I love him as fake-friend-to-full-on-antagonistic-character and his role within the story. 

Mitch: I fucking love Mitch and the only reason he isn’t in SS tier is because of how goddamn dirty the writers did him. You give me this boy- this butterknife wielding, foul-mouthed, angry, hilarious, bomb-making boy and make me fall in love with him and THEN YOU KILL HIM OFF IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE. “Oh, lemme just run at the crazy lady with a knife and- OOF! It appears I’ve been throat stabbed bleh-”  I’ve complained about this since ep2, but lemme say it again: Mitch had so much potential to be an amazing character but never got the chance to because we had to add to the death count and make us more afraid of Lilly even though it didn’t do shit because it was a reaction kill rather than one made out of malice. 

Tenn: Tenn is such a tragic character for me. In my personal canon ending, he dies because he was “messing up again” and AJ shot him. This poor kid was so full of hope that the walkers would go away one day, he’s so genuine and never wants to hurt anyone, even if they’re trying to hurt him, and he’s so fucked up from seeing Minerva that he stops thinking and tries to go to her even as she’s being devoured right in front of him. Tenn is like this game’s Sarah, but done right. He deserved better, but he was a well-written character and I love him. His friendship with AJ was so sweet which makes it even more heartbreaking when he dies. Yet another terrific child character. 

B

“I like you and/or your role within the story”

S1 Kenny: This dude is such a chaotic topic. I feel like 90% of the fandom has an incredibly strong opinion on him, and of that 90%, 45% of people absolutely love him and if you say anything negative you’ll get a boat to the head while the other 45% loathe him. Then you’ve got the 10% who don’t have such strong opinions, and that’s where I fall. I like Kenny, and I like S1 Kenny more than his S2 counterpart. He has a great arch throughout the season regardless if you’re his best pal or not. He has some funny lines, some emotional scenes. I’ll never forget the first time I played the scene where Kenny’s crying over Katjaa’s dead body while Duck is laying against the tree on the brink of death. And I definitely will never forget the part where he finds the boy in the attic. Overall, I like him and what he brought to S1. 

Katjaa: She was really sweet and her death broke my heart. I don’t have too much to say about her, but I liked her a lot. She loved her family and met a tragic end. 

Ben: Fucking Ben, man. This poor kid. Another character with wasted potential. I’ve mentioned this plenty of times before, but I wish we could get an alternative ending where Ben was the only one who survived and became Clementine’s new caretaker. There was so much room for growth. He just wanted to help out but kept screwing up and it’s just.... sad. 

Christa: I’ll be honest, the first time I ever played S1, I didn’t like Christa. Something about her rubbed me the wrong way and I didn’t care about her as much as I did Omid. However, the more times I replayed it, the more I grew to love her. She’s strong but sweet, and you can’t deny how much she loves Omid. And while I wish we did get to know what happened to her in S2, I can live with it remaining unknown.  

Chuck: As much as I like our guitar playing hobo friend who deserved so much more, I would probably put him a tier lower if it weren’t for the advice that he gives Lee on the train. Because of him, Lee stopped treating Clementine entirely like a little girl in need of protection and cut her hair, taught her to use a gun, and furthered their communication by building a plan together. Without Chuck and his wise hobo words, Lee might’ve fucked both of them over. Also, Chuck’s pretty badass with that shovel, he got a lot of chuckles out of me, but his death was off screen and disappointing. 

Andy St John: Okay. Okay okay okay. Andy. He is so high here [and so much higher than his mom and brother] because to me, he’s the scariest of the St John’s. Why? Because he’s the most normal-appearing of the three. He acts and talks like any normal guy would. He’s someone that I could see myself running into in real life. He’s so good at hiding how fucked up he is from everyone, unlike his brother who you can just look at and go “hahahahaha no thanks” and his mother who’s character design is just awful. I find him to be the strongest of the three, the smartest and the most dangerous. And the final fight between him and Lee is amazing. I love how you can be so furious with him that you keep punching him even after the prompt goes away and then his face goes all purple and swollen. Easily the greatest antagonist in S1.

Eddie: This dude is the best character to come out of the 400 Days dlc. End of story. 

 Alvin: He gave me a juice box and that automatically puts him here. Real great guy but we didn’t get too into his character. Wish we could’ve, though.  

Rebecca: She grew on me tbh. Didn’t like her in ep1 when she was being all pissy and all, but for the most part, she’s pretty good. 

Mike: I will forever wish the writers went through with the concept of Mike being one of the guys who attacked Christa because then he could’ve had a better character backstory. Regardless, I still like him. He’s pretty funny. 

Nick: Nick? Oh, you mean PURE WASTED POTENTIAL. I mean, they really did give us this super flawed but sympathetic and interesting character and kill him off-screen. They really did that. Honestly, S2 really pisses me off sometimes for the way they treated these characters. It all goes downhill once everyone escapes. Yeah, yeah, blah blah not everyone gets a meaningful death blah blah but y’know what? You can do better than that. I loved Nick and I was so excited to see what they’d do with him in the end but NOPE! Justice 4 Nick 2k19

Pete: What a good dude. He stuck by Clementine’s side even when everyone thought she was bit. Love him. Wish we saw more of him. 

Sarah: Ha. Ha. PURE WASTED POTENTIAL 2.0. What else needs to be said? This girl had the foundation for a great character but again, NOPE! I really liked Sarah! I wanted to teach her to use a gun to protect herself! The loss of her father fucking broke her and it was hard to watch but I wanted more and just ahaklsdjlaskjdlkakjaskjsaadkljas ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

Ava: Yo. Ava’s a fucking gorgeous badass. Really liked her and how she was sweet on Clementine. Also, it’s interesting that she stuck by David’s side like that. 

David: I have a lot of mixed feelings about David. On one hand, the complicated relationship between him and Javier is good, even if it’s a little bullshit at times. On the other hand, David’s an asshole.  But he’s a great antagonistic character. I do love that about him. The shit with him and Kate was a little annoying, but only because they didn’t ever elaborate on anything. On what level was the marriage fucked? Was it straight-up abusive? What happened to David’s first wife? Why did Kate and David get married in the first place? I got questions! But, like Javier, I think David deserved a better game with better writing. 

Jesus: This dude parkour kills walkers. Pretty fucking badass. 

Tripp: I feel like I don’t like Tripp as much as some people. I like him fine, but I know a lot of folks gush about him. I think he’s a good dude, a little pushy with Eleanor, but he’s loyal and strong. 

S2 Lilly: I fucking hate Lilly. I hate her so goddamn much. She pushes every wrong button with her bullshit “Where's our new recruits?? Lee would be so disappointed knowing he taught you all the wrong things! You’re one of my people now, Clementine” AND THE GODDAMN “Yes, Ma’am” SHIT. Nothing irks me more than every time someone from the delta acts like Lilly’s the baddest bitch and call her “Ma’am” I HATE IT AND I HATE HER. SHE KILLED MITCH. SHE KIDNAPPED MY CHILDREN. SHE DARES TO TRY AND HURT LOUIS LIKE HE’S NOTHING. AND I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER....... That being said, y’all are probably thinking “wtf if you hate her so much why isn’t she in F tier???” and that’s because no other antagonist in these games has ever gotten this strong of a reaction out of me. Lilly is a damn good antagonist. She’s not perfect, and there are definitely things I would change or add, but she does her job and makes me absolutely livid [yeah yeah I know ha ha ha ha] every time she’s on screen doing her bullshit. I hate her and that counts for something. She’s easily the best “villain” in the entire series. 

Ruby: I love my funny little hot-headed medic. Ruby’s amazing and I love her. 

Willy: This kid really grew on me. I thought he was weird and creepy at the beginning but I adore him now. His brotherly relationship with Mitch should’ve been explored more, and at times his voice acting is kind of jarring, but I still love him. 

C

“You’re fine, I guess...”

Duck: He’s fine. I like Duck. I like the “what if” scenarios we’ve come up with surrounding his character, and his death always puts a lump in my throat, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to say I love him, y’know?

Doug: Again, he’s fine. He has some funny moments when you save him, and he’s got a cool little panda bear on his sweater but... yeah. He’s okay. 

Mark: Oh hai Mark. He’s cool, and the reason he’s not lower is because the iconic moment of finding him in the hidden room with his legs chopped off choking out the words “Don’t... eat... dinner” forever haunts my nightmares. 

Russell: I’m not a big fan of most of the playable 400 Days characters, but I think if I had to pick a favorite, it’s Russell. His backstory of being with the group that believed in the power of 7′s [I think it was 7 I dunno going off of memory here] was cool and his weird thing with Nate was fun and disturbing. He’s a pretty cool character. 

Carlos: I’ve made posts about Carlos before and how I think he had a lot of potential, but looking strictly at his role in the game and I’m left underwhelmed. I did get a lot of shit for where I placed him in my previous tier because he was [and still is] above S2 Kenny but I’m not going to lie and say I like Kenny more than him because... I don’t. I just think Carlos should’ve been given more development.  

Carver: A cool antagonist who was defeated waaaaaay too early in the game. They were doing a fantastic job at making me hate him with his treatment of Clementine, beating the shit out of Kenny, murdering Alvin and pulling all that shit with Rebecca, but killing him off so quickly didn’t make it feel as satisfying. Again, underwhelming. 

Sam: This pup betrayed me and he ain’t no Rosie, but we played frisbee so he gets a C I guess

Gabe: Y’know, Gabe could’ve been so good. But every time I play through ANF, he ends up annoying me more than Ben. What does that tell you? He’s fine, but he could’ve been a lot better. 

Mariana: I’m not so much “meh” on Mari because I think she’s sweet and likable! The problem is I don’t want to put her any higher because really? What did she do? She died horribly because Badger’s a piece of shit. 

Abel: Meh this guy’s garbage. I only put him up a little higher because the scene with him in the basement is really good. 

Brody: Brody is like the Mariana of S4 for me, just a bit better. I do like her. She had some development but her whole purpose was to die by Marlon’s hand and get the plot going. Would’ve loved to learn more about her, but I couldn’t give her anything higher than a C. 

Minerva: Controversial opinion but........ I don’t like Minerva as much as a lot of people do. If I could be brutally honest, if I were ranking these characters solely on how I feel about them without looking at their roles in the games and character development, Minerva would be in E tier at the highest. However, I can’t deny how tragic and complex her character and backstory is. It’s similar to how I feel about Lilly, but different. I think she’s just so fucked up from the delta that she’s become a husk of who she was and it results in her constantly pissing me off with all her shit. Also, the bridge scene alone bumps her up. That shit was crazy in a good yet tragic way. 

Omar: At one point, I forgot Omar existed until he got shot in the leg...... but he’s also God so y’know. I like him but I also had to make up my own little backstory for him so...

D

“Meh”

S1 Lilly: I don’t care about S1 Lilly in the slightest, she’s awful. They made her way more compelling in S4. And she killed my girlfriend which is bullshit on it’s own.

Jolene: If I could rewrite S1, I would’ve thrown out the Stranger and had Jolene be the kidnapper. As Danny said, “What a waste.”

Bonnie: She’s pretty disappointing, tbh. I didn’t like how the game help pushing her onto Clem and overall she’s pretty forgettable. 

Vince: He’s okay, I guess. He killed a dude one time. And shot a guy’s foot off.

Wyatt: “Meh” hahaha Eddie was a cooler character than he was

Jane: I wish Jane had been the Molly of S2 and stayed gone after she left the first time. I like that she taught Clementine some useful survival tactics and that’s what puts her on this tier, but I think we all know how I feel about the whole Jane vs. Kenny thing by now so... 

S2 Kenny: This Kenny actually moved up a tier because I fully took in everything he’s been through thus far and.... “Meh.” I don’t think he’s good for Clementine, I think she and AJ need a group like Wellington. I recognize that he’s a lot of people’s favorite, but like I said above in his S1 counterpart, I’m the 10% that doesn’t have that strong of an opinion on him. I’d much rather discuss other characters over him. 

Sarita: Forgettable, really. Except for when you get the chance to cut her hand off. That fucking scream of hers is anything but forgettable, yeesh. 

Walter: Again, mostly forgettable. His death was sad, and I do think he’s a good example of what happens when you’re too trusting in this world, but overall he doesn’t stand out to me. 

Kate: I probably would’ve liked Kate more if her romance wasn’t so damn forced. She has some funny lines, but she’s also pretty selfish and fickle when it comes to a lot of things. And I will forever be annoyed at her inability to keep her mouth shut about her and Javi’s relationship [or lack of] in front of David. 

E

“I don’t like you but you’re not the absolute worst, I guess...”

Danny St John and Brenda St John: I put these two together because they have the same issue: They’re fucking creepy. Where Andy was normal and deceiving, these two look like they want to cut my legs off and eat them. I think they’re much weaker in character than Andy was, even with Danny’s weird sexual fixation of his gun and Brenda talking about her husband. 

Vernon: He’s not the absolute worst because I do feel a little sympathy for him losing his daughter, but everything else just makes me not like him. 

Shel and Becca: Easily my two least favorite characters in 400 Days. I had no real interest in either of them. 

Arvo: This guy. I didn’t put him in as the absolute worst because of all the unnecessary shit Kenny put him through. No wonder he wanted to get the hell outta there. 

Clint: I literally couldn’t give a single shit about this dude or what happens to him. 

Eleanor: I don’t like Eleanor. I found her annoying. Her one good quality is her want to help people, but that want didn’t do much to help Tripp now did it, Eleanor.

F

“The absolute worst”

Larry: Did you expect anything else? Fuck this guy. 

Stranger: Worst final antagonist ever. You’re telling me I have to fight this Mister Roger’s tootsie pop? I’ll bet you $1 I can do it with one hand. Fuck this guy. 

Troy: Fuck Troy. All he does is smack Clementine around and then get shot in the dick. 

Joan: This lady is a laughably bad antagonist. The worst fucking “villian” jfc...

---

There ya have it. Do you agree, disagree? Maybe a character I found boring you really liked! Maybe you want to tell me why Kenny is the best/worst again!  We can discuss it. 

I’m always open to talking about these characters!

[aeon-wolf]

Legends 4x14

Sorry I didn’t get this out last night, I worked late and then was sleepy. 

This episode was kind of the epitome of what I think is flawed with Legends. Don’t get me wrong, I love this stupid fucking show, but it just kind of showcased to me some of the writing flaws throughout the entire season (this is my personal opinion. I’m sure a lot of people will feel like the pacing of the season has been good. And that’s fine. This is just how this season has felt to me). 

There was so much endgame plot in this episode it was nuts. And in reading the synopsis for the finale, it says that the Legends discover Neron’s endgame goal. Why exactly are we only finding out about this in the finale episode? Even in S3, we know about Mallus and his endgame of escaping his time prison through Nora and then basically destroying time, at least a few episodes before the finale. One of my criticisms of S3 and S4 is that I don’t personally think they pace endgame that well. They seem to mostly mess around for the first half with the anachronism storyline with some really subtle, lowkey hints of what the big bad is going to be and maybe what the goal will be, but because they don’t flesh it out super well in the first half, they backload it all into the end and it ends up, to me, feeling really abrupt and overloaded. 

That said, this season is pretty short so perhaps that was inevitable there would be some overloading towards the end, but knowing that it was only a 16 episode season, shouldn’t that encourage starting to convey endgame earlier in the season? I don’t know, similarly to Season 3, the overarching storyline just feels rushed to me. I couldn’t say what they could have done differently to remedy this if they even could. And Legends is still my #1, I just feel like, although I think S3 and S4 have been superior seasons imo, S1 and S2 had better pacing and cohesion to the writing. 

That said, the episode itself was still good. 

- Ava saying she was proud of Nora was 100% me. I’m so proud of Nora. Her redemption arc has been so well written. She wants to improve for herself. Not for anyone else. She knows she’s capable of being a better person and she’s trying to achieve that. And ugh. I love it so much. 

- The whole Gary nipple thing was like... typical Legends but somehow even weirder than normal. My dad was downstairs whilst I was watching the episode when Mona bit off his nipple and he was like wtf. And tbh so was I. The whole thing makes sense I guess given the context, but if you just threw some random person into that scene it's just bizarre. I’m not sure how I feel about like... Ava’s explanation that it was the nipple making Gary “evil.” He was drifting that was (perhaps understandably so) even before then. Perhaps there was some magical influence increasing the resentment Gary has for being the butt of every joke, but I do hope he gets treated better for the reason of the season/show. 

- John has come so far as far as his character development is concerned. He voluntarily went to Hell to save Ray (perhaps Astra as well) because Ray is part of his found family. You cannot tell me he would have done that, even just earlier this season, nevermind before he joined the Legends. And learning that not all magical creatures belong in Hell. A bit of a callback to the mid-season finale where Charlie realizes she’s the reason that the Legends developed a softer stance on magical fugitives. 

- Sara and Mick had some nice bonding this episode. I really wish the utilized Mick more. It was kind of nostalgic for them to mention that Mick and Sara (and Ray assuming they save him) are the only OG legends left. And to be honest, I kind of understand Mick’s point of view on making the call to fire on Ray. Obviously, we know the odds are they will have some hairbrained plan to save Ray, but as a Captain, Sara needed to make a tough decision and hesitating could have cost a lot. At that moment, I kind of think Mick might have made the right decision. They didn’t know that it was a trap and that they would eventually get the chance to save Ray. And letting Neron live when they theoretically had the chance to take him down, given the information the Legends had at that moment, could have been a disaster. I don’t know. 

- I think Zari is going to be MOTHER OF DRAGONS which is going to be amazing. Though I’m a little less enthused that Nate is probably going to be father of dragons. Like don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind Steelhacker as much as the rest of the fandom, but it just feels a bit uncomfortable to watch imo. Like, I don’t expect Nate to be single forever after Amaya, it just feels weird since Zari and Amaya were kind of best friends. And now Nate has basically been with both of them and yeah. What will be, will be but I kind of hope this isn’t going to be a long term relationship. (though if this is where Zari finds her happiness, then more power to her)

- The whole “the fairy godmother is Tabitha” thing is... weird watching her make out with Ray. I do wonder though if the OG fairy godmother was Tabitha or if once the fairy godmother was in hell if Tabitha somehow assumed her identity. I’d imagine the first since John was saying that if Tabitha came through an open portal that she wouldn’t need a vessel. So I’d imagine the form she emerged from the portal in was her true form? Idk. But it sounds like Neron is going to try to find a new vessel. I do wonder if they’re going to try to use Nora. It would make sense on some level since Ray/Nora is a thing. And then I think there were some BTS pictures of Nora dressed as the fairy godmother. So... just an early theory of who Tabitha’s new vessel/attempted vessel might be. 

Looking forward to seeing Ava and Sara’s plan to retake the Bureau. Hoping there’s some more action oriented Avalance in the next episode as well. I love domestic Avalance, but watching them fight alongside each other is amazing. 

[illgiveyouahint]

omg @filmmakerdream your questions are so good that I just had to go and answer them but I’m not gonna do the tagging again.

1. Why do you think Eva and Jonas (as a couple) is so unpopular?

I actually don’t think they’re that unpopular. There’s plenty of people who shipped them and were happy they got together in the end but I do think that people see how that relationship was doomed to a failure from the start. Like I remember rewatching s1 and being surprised by how much sort of not necessarily foreshadowing but just how much of this hindering distrust and uncertainty is in the relationship right from the start. I really love the depiction of their relationship even if I don’t ship them. Like I love that you see they really loved each other but you see how the relationship sort of deteriorates and so by the time you get to the last episode you’re actually glad they’re breaking up and are proud of eva for choosing herself (of course then she goes on getting drunk in s2 which Not Good).

2. If you had to choose a character from each of the seasons to portray someone else’s story which would it be? (e.g. Eva’s season through Isak’s POV)

I mean obviously we all wanted to see Even’s side of Isak’s season. But I also think seeing Noora’s season through Vilde’s eyes would be interesting and I loved that I feel like Druck has actually done that a bit. I feel like we’ve seen and understood where kiki is coming from a bit more than with Vilde.

3. Which remake (set) would you like to go to the most?

I want to go back to Utrecht so badly so SkamNL :D 

4. What’s your favourite ‘underrated’ character?

There’s girl!Chris and Elias. I love Ina so much she’s so pretty and soft and I really really wanted that Chris x Sana friendship in s4 and I’m low key disappointed i didn’t get it but I understand that Ina was busy and unavailable to shoot much. Still. And then there is Elias who I gush about pretty frequently. I just love him. I love how protective and caring and thoughtful and goofy he is. And again he’s so soft. Honestly I just have such a thing for soft characters. The softer the better.

5. If you had to re-write an episode of SKAM (or any remake) what would you change?

That damn Druck’s S03e08. That season would have been practically perfect if only they moved some clips around, have matteo text david sooner than after 5 days, added one happy date and if they had to do the outing then do it in a way that’s less triggering and it’d truly be a masterpiece of a season. Other seasons usually have an overall structural problems that can’t be fixed with one single episode but this thing. This damn episode in an overall great season is just a sore spot.

6. Do you have a sexuality headcanon for any of the characters?

God so many. None of them are straight :D I mean the obvious ones being Eva is bi, Vilde is a lesbian, Isa and Liv are bi, Engel is a lesbian, Viri is ace, Carlos is pan, Magnus is pan, Elias is bi, Mikael on top of being nonbinary is also gay and dating Adam who is either gay or bi (haven’t decided yet), german jonas is bi, laura is a lesbian, linn is ace lesbian (and once again nonbinary). Leonie is a lesbian , sara is bi. And i actually thought Ingrid is a lesbian or bi too even though she was made into a racist villain but yeah. I´m probably forgetting a lot of them. I have a lot of sexuality headcanons. 

7. Which version of Isak & Even is your favourite?

Obvs Matteo and David and I do like Cris and Joanna too even though I’m not as invested in the. I don’t really care about the french ones and I refuse to watch skamit.

8. Which version of Sana is your favourite?

God that’s so hard. I love both Amiras and I loved the little we’ve seen of Imaan too. Druck in general is closer to my heart and her season is starting soon but then I really loved what they did with spanish Amira in s2 and having her be the Jonas to Cris was just amazing. But I guess atm german Amira. 

9. Which character would go ‘BISH I’M FLYING A ROCKET SHIP TO THE MOON SEE YOU!”

Isa. I mean the big ass heart? Do I need to say more?

10. Which character would join them?

The rest of the skam nl squad probably. 

11. WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE CHEESE?

omg controversial but I’m not a cheese person. At all. Which was a bit unfortunate while i was in netherlands, the land of cheese. So for me just plain 30% eidam please nothing more.

[jellykiwi]

do u ever just...love urself so damn much that u start crying??? y am I crying??

idk im just randomly thinking about 2017 and all the really really low points...when I wished I were dead or unconscious forever or in some in-between limbo state where im not quite dead but not quite alive or that id randomly get hit by a car and die bc i was too afraid to kill myself...when no one was in the apt and id finally let myself cry and sob and cling to my cat kimchi for some kind of comfort...when I would be by myself or trying desperately to sleep or even just talking w/ friends and being constantly bombarded w/ negative thoughts and a mantra of “iwanttodieiwanttodieiwanttodie” in the background like white noise that I cant turn off and

I just...im...really glad im still alive.

i think the worst part of my 2017 depression is that...externally...i seemed pretty...normal? like it’s not like i was sad and gloomy all the time. i could do things like go to class, do homework, and hold conversations w/ ppl and laugh and even be happy for a while. but the buzzing always came back eventually, some times softer than usual other times louder.

so then u start asking urself r u faking it? if ur so ‘depressed’ how come ur functioning normally? and the things u can’t do? ur just being lazy y r u so lazy? honestly the ep ‘stupid piece of shit’ from s4 of bojack horseman sums it up perfectly.

but all that is in the past now

im so proud of myself and progress i’ve made this past month. im so thankful that i have such loving and supportive parents...i don’t know where id b rn if it weren’t for them.

and it turns out I actually got a b in the class that I was so sure I would get a c in!! and that isn’t even the best part!!

the best part is that I was happy before I even knew about the grade.

the grade didn’t cause my happiness, i did.

I had come to terms w/ the c and accepted it and was ready to move on and then it turns out that I did better than I expected!! it just felt like...some kind of sign...that things really are going to get better, I just have to keep going and not give up!!

and after a year of negativity and self-deprecating humor as a coping mechanism...im honestly tired of it. im tired of calling myself garbage or a failure, even just as a joke or some masochistic way of peer validation via mutual suffering. im tired and im ready to start being positive again bc im not garbage and im not a failure!!

i think i figured out how to love myself again and it’s such a wonderful feeling!! i love being me!! i love me!! i love my body i love my dorky laugh i love my not-so-perfect smile i love everything bc it’s me

i finally feel like my old self again.

my head is clear and everything is quiet and there’s no buzzing or little voices telling me to kill myself

i can finally stop relying on other ppl to be happy!! i can find happiness in myself!! its so wonderful!!

im actually looking forward to the semester and going back to berkeley and seeing all my amazing friends!!

i don’t know how long it will last but im proud of myself either way!!

[rumaan]

So I bought some really nice shampoo the other week and warned my husband to keep his hands off it! Of course, this then made me want to write Yousana fic based around this scenario because why not! Set not long before S4 so longing glances abound between Sana and Yousef!

Also for @thickskinandelasticheart because she deserves some fluff after fighting the good fight for Yousana on tumblr!

Also on AO3

Sana gritted her teeth as she reached for her shampoo and found that it had been moved. That meant only one thing: Elias had used it despite her warning him that he should never use her shampoo.

It was the nicest shampoo she had ever bought and it cost her a good part of the allowance from her parents. The first time she’d used it her hair had felt so silky and smooth. Plus it also smelt amazing. She’d told Elias that if he ever touched it to use on the centimetre of hair he possessed then she would wait until he was sleeping and shave his eyebrows off. Her brother should know better than to cross her.

Her mood didn’t improve when she found the matching conditioner had also moved. Why would Elias need to use conditioner, too? He always shaved his hair and never grew it out. She wouldn’t mind so much if she hadn’t specifically told Elias not to use it. He didn’t care about quality shampoo and was always happy to buy whatever was on sale because it made zero difference to his closely cut hair. However, that was not the case for Sana. Her hair needed good products used in it or it became dry and frizzy and generally just unmanageable.

Stewing over how inconsiderate her brother was as she dried her hair and got dressed, her temper was simmering nicely when she finally left her room. It wouldn’t take much to set it off.

“Sana?” Elias called when she started to make some coffee. “Would you make some extra coffee for us?”

The innocuous request had her anger bubbling over.

“No!” she snapped, stomping into the book room. “I won’t make you coffee because you did precisely what I asked you not to do!”

“Huh?” Elias asked, clearly confused by her rage. “I haven’t even seen you this morning.”

“And yet you’ve still managed to piss me off!”

“How?”

“I told you not to use my shampoo and conditioner but you still did!” she yelled. “Why would you even need to use my expensive shampoo? There’s plenty of yours left.”

“I haven’t touched your shampoo,” he protested.

“So why was it moved? You best lock you door when you sleep tonight.”

“Wallah, okhti, I haven’t touched your stupid shampoo.”

“Er…,” came a hesitant voice in the corner of the room. “I think I might have used it. Sorry, Sana.”

Turning away from her brother, Sana spotted Yousef. Somehow she had managed to miss him when barrelling into the room, which was unusual. She was usually aware of whenever he was in the house as her eyes would involuntary seek him out to drink him in. He must have stayed over as Elias’ friends didn’t normally arrive before 10am at least. They were generally pretty considerate like that.

“Oh,” she said, the wind taken out of her sails.

“I didn’t realise it was yours,” Yousef said apologetically.

Her eyes roved over his hair, which was looking even softer and shinier than usual. In fact, it looked so good that her fingers itched with the desire to touch it. She felt her face grow hot as her mind refused to cooperate also and lingered on the image of what Yousef could look like in the shower. As she tried desperately to gain control over her wandering thoughts, all she could think about was water pouring down over his head and chest and washing the suds of her shampoo out of her hair.

“That’s okay,” she said mildly, embarrassed even though they couldn’t read her mind.

As if conspiring against her, Elias said sulkily, “Oh, what? You’re not going to threaten to harm Yousef when he’s sleeping?”

Sure that her cheeks were scarlet, Sana’s rebellious brain was now stuck on what Yousef looked like asleep. These were images that she could have coped with alone in her bedroom, but them flooding her thoughts when he was sitting right in front of her was too much for her to deal with.

“You want coffee then?” she said, thinking of any excuse to flee the room before either her brother or Yousef somehow figured out what she was thinking.

“It’s the least you can do after accusing me of being a thief.”

With a vague smile in both their directions, Sana took refuge in the kitchen and tried desperately hard to stop thinking about Yousef in her shower.

However, when he and Elias came in to join her for breakfast, she couldn’t help but smell the clean cucumber and mint scent of her shampoo lingering on his hair as she passed behind his chair to grab the Kiri cheese from the fridge and brought all the images flooding back again, causing her to choke a little on her food and flee as soon as she could to the sanctuary of her room.

----------

A couple of days later, Sana got home from school and found a brand new bottle of her shampoo and conditioner waiting outside her bedroom door. Picking them both up, she smiled softly as she realised that Yousef must have gone out and brought her some more. Her chest swelled a little with how thoughtful and sweet the gesture was. She hadn’t expected him to buy her brand new bottles when he’d only used a little bit.

Wanting to say thank you, she headed into the kitchen where the boys were sitting around the table and drinking tea.

“Hey,” she said, her eyes skittering over everyone else and zeroing in on Yousef. She waved the bottles in his direction and added, “Thanks. You didn’t have to buy me replacements.”

He shrugged and said, “I felt bad after using it. Plus, it’s really nice.”

“Is that the magic shampoo?” Mutta asked.

“Let me see,” Mikael said, grabbing it out of her hand, opening the cap and sniffing it. “Yousef hasn’t stopped going on about how amazing it is.”

“I just said it was nice,” Yousef protested.

“And then dragged me into five different shops to find it,” Adam remarked.

“He’s worse than Sana talking about how great it is,” Elias grumbled.

Sana couldn’t help grinning then as Yousef’s cheeks reddened a little, clearly wishing that his friends would shut up. However, when he caught her eyes, he smiled back and her heart skipped a beat.

[charnamefic]

I really need TFP to sweep the rug out from under me.

I don't tend to leave fandoms. I think I'm into Sherlock for life. But I'm also thinking that I'm going to be one of those people who ignores canon after TRF.

I know that many viewers don't take what we're shown at face value. I know that the writers love to be clever and play tricks on their viewers. Still, I think it's important to always consider multiple perspectives and possibilities, so I have been entertaining the idea that we're seeing on screen is intended to be accepted exactly as shown. If that is right, I find the show heartbreaking in ways that have nothing to do with any shipping theories or arguments.

The events we have seen so far in series 4 -- if taken at face value -- have shown that this Sherlock Holmes and John Watson have become bad for each other. It's an interpretation that I'm distressed by, but can't put out of my mind. In full disclosure, I'm posting this partly because I want to be convinced that this interpretation is wrong.

When this show started, I loved the relationship between Sherlock and John. The way I saw it, they made each other's lives exponentially better. I think they each thought the other was amazing and cared for each other deeply. They were always both difficult, messed up, not necessarily good men, but they gave each other what they needed to be better and happier than they could have been.

Back when they were promoting the first series, we were told that John would humanize Sherlock and help him develop a softer side. I'm not sure whether or not this has happened. Yes, we have seen far more sweetness from Sherlock over series 3 and 4, but I believe we have also had a PoV switch. If the first two series were from John's perspective, then what we saw of Sherlock was what he was permitted to see. Perhaps these soft asides have always been there and we simply didn't have a chance to know about them. I think that if our perceptions of Sherlock in S3 and S4 were from John's point of view we would be seeing Sherlock very, very differently. He is still the sort of man who has so little consideration for the pain of others that he'd speak to a pair of grieving parents about their daughter under the conceit that their dead son wasn't important enough to deserve having his gender remembered. He still hurts people who aren't useful to him, or whose hurt may be convenient. I think it's entirely possible that exposure to John hasn't made a significant difference on Sherlock's humanity. I’m really not overly concerned about whether Sherlock has changed. In the end, I’m not sure he needs to. I bring the matter to attention to illustrate that these characters are meant to influence each other, and that sometimes those influences are more clear than others.

Since the Reichenbach fall, Sherlock has had at least two major drug relapses. One after the Watson wedding (which I thought was fair enough in reference to Holmes' drug use in The Sign of the Four) and one in response to Mary's death and John's reaction. Sherlock is miserable -- I believe suicidal -- without John, and I suspect that he's still better with John regardless of any "humanizing" or lack thereof, but I am no longer sure that John is better off with Sherlock.

I think it's reasonable to assume that believing that he had watched Sherlock kill himself all but destroyed John. I say this because of the acting choices made in that and the following scenes, and because John described Mary as the second person who saved his life. Mary was there to pick up the pieces of John after Sherlock fell. She did help him. In the wake of her death, he was left so broken that he started hallucinating her. If we take that at face value, I think it is only reasonable to conclude that he truly, deeply loved her. From what we've seen, the hallucinations would indicate that John grieved her far more intensely than he had Sherlock.

Mary helped John through his grieving process. He grieved for Sherlock, then he began to build a new life with her.

If Sherlock hadn't returned after The Reichenbach Fall, John would have lived in blissful ignorance of his wife's past. If he ever found out, it would likely have been through an event far less traumatizing than having her (temporarily) kill his best friend, which put a certain sort of spin on the information. He never would have felt inadequate in the face of Sherlock preferring her as a mystery-solving companion who was "better" at it than him. Without that trauma and those feelings of inadequacy, I don't believe he would have seriously considered an affair.

It was Sherlock who told Ajay who (Rosamund) Mary Watson was. He may have had information about her old identities on his flash drive, but since this new one was such a good disguise that -- again taking all of this at face value -- even Mycroft Holmes (who kept such close tabs on his little brother's companions that he abducted John immediately and confronted him with his therapist's notes, who had known that Sherlock was coming into extremely close contact with Mary, and who had worked with A.G.R.A. before) couldn't detect that she wasn't who she claimed she was, Ajay (with his fixation on his mysterious decision that she was the "English woman") would likely never have found her. If he had -- as we saw -- she could still take care of herself. It was Sherlock who led Ajay to Mary, and then Mary to her killer. Without Sherlock, Ajay would not have had the information he would need to go after the Watsons. Norbury would never have had any reason to encounter Mary. Mary's past was certainly a problem, but it was Sherlock who made it a dangerous one. John was wrong to blame Sherlock for Mary's death as he did. Sherlock did not force Mary to jump in front of a speeding bullet. Sherlock told John to come to the aquarium and sent Mary a text about curtains. Taking what we saw at face value, Mary's own actions were instrumental in her demise.

Even so, without Sherlock, we have every indication that Mary would still be alive.

Bad things would still have happened. Maybe the underground plot would have succeeded. Maybe Sholto would have died after the Watson wedding. Maybe Magnussen would have still tracked down and blackmailed Mary. Maybe someone else who was also apparently more competent than the man we're told acts as the British government would have. But if we take what the show has given us at face value, Mary could have solved that on her own. She could have shot Magnussen without being interrupted. The only consequences of his death came about because he was murdered in front of others while being filmed. Without Sherlock, he would have died without affecting John at all.

Would the Watsons be bored without regular adrenaline fixes? I think so. I think that would cause conflict. But I think they could raise their daughter happily enough together. Maybe they would need to occasionally go skydiving and participate in particularly intense paintball matches. Maybe activities like that wouldn't be enough. Maybe they'd find something else that would be; they're competent enough. The point is that Rosamund would have a living mother. John wouldn't be a single father passing his daughter off to friends while mourning. John wouldn't be hallucinating his dead wife from grief.

Sherlock came back, and his actions led to unbelievable pain for John. First through John's conception of how Sherlock had treated him (especially if we take the explanation that they told us was correct -- the one we saw given to Anderson -- as true) and then through the discovery that his wife's very identity was a lie. He started out with trust issues. His fears were justified. Betrayal was stacked upon betrayal by the people closest to him. Then the woman he loved died under his hands. I find it horrifying, but not at all inconceivable, that he ended up fucked up enough to do what he did in the morgue. He was entirely responsible for his own actions, no matter what state of mind he was in; I’m simply trying to convey that I found the outcome tragically believable.

If we are meant to interpret Mary the way they are telling us to, as a super competent ex-spy who did bad things but felt regret and wanted more than anything a domestic life with her loving husband and child, then our interpretations of everything else have to account for that. I know that many people in this fandom prefer -- for various reasons -- to interpret her as a villain. Due to the conclusion of this meta, I'll count myself among them. But, unless The Final Problem is going to retcon the last few episodes -- which I suspect is highly unlikely -- then she is the complicated, lovely woman that they have been telling us she is. And she's dead due to her association with Sherlock.

If we take everything we are seeing at face value (and I see why many people don't, but I dwell on it myself) then this John Watson would have been better off if Sherlock Holmes had died in The Reichenbach Fall. That is what I'm finding heartbreaking about this series.

I want this meta to be wrong. I keep reminding myself that no matter what, Thompson is writing The Final Problem and I usually love the way he writes Sherlock and John together. But even so, at this moment, I think BBC’s Sherlock is shaping up to be one of the most depressing Sherlock Holmes adaptations ever. It is what it is, but I know what I don’t want it to be.

Show me this is wrong. Please.