#no one tell jesus about this <3< /div>
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theyve been posting so much lately even with the tour and i never realised how badly i missed them until then <3 they were such a big part of my middle/highschool experience and i am still forever glad i got to see them on interactive introverts. but i had to draw these gays guys again
#phanart#phandom#terrible influence tour#dan howell#phil lester#sister daniel#father phillip#im pretty sure me drawing this is sacrilegous tbh#no one tell jesus about this <3#dan and phil
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If anyone allows Zhang Teng to get in again, I'll kill them!
AI DI + talking about & attitude towards death KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#i'm obsessed with this guy. did you know. COULD YOU TELL.#not included: ai di trying really really hard to kill zhang teng with his own knife#being gifted a shotgun and getting really fucking excited about it#cdy literally saying to him 'if this was 4 years ago you would have killed a bunch of people by now'#and every single line in the 'die before you' ep13 scene bc unfortunately it isnt like i could fit the whole conversation into this set#basically he's feral and should also be allowed to do whatever he wants all the time forever#anyway i'd like to thank god and also jesus that after *gestures* all this AND chen yi getting shot (hah) no one died in this show#.................it would have been really funny if zherui had though. like. it would have been ironic. to me.#because he's always the guy telling ai di to be less violent and then ai di has to scold him about Real Gang Life okjdflkasjdflk#i love to bully that guy idc. <3
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Guys you have to start going to brick and mortar stores again instead of buying every little damn thing online. I am so serious
#saying this bc look I don’t like joann’s fabrics as much as the next person#but looking at the chap 11 closures is truly hellish. we only have 3 of these stores in our state and they’re closing two of them#and I can’t help but think about how few options those communities will have to get anything afordable once they’re gone#and I’ve looked it up multiple times for my own purposes: there are so few fabric stores elsewhere in the state. like these go down#and online shopping will be the only option. and especially with something like fabric that can be a huge problem!#sometimes the websites can be reliable enough to tell you thread count and weave and weight but there are soooo many websites that do not#so you could easily get stuck with some fucked fabric and then what!#not to mention on top of shipping shit can get super fucking expensive real quick#and sure joanns is faaaaar from perfect but jesus at least I can go there and scope out the fabric properly#I’m lucky my own local joanns is staying open but holy fuck it’s so bad!!!#like does nobody else see that buying everything online is draining places of local resources and furthering our enslavement to capitalism?#or is it just fucking me????#god DAMN#also this should go without saying that you absolutely should shop local places first too#but like also I get it bc even one of my local places sells their linen for like 40 bucks a yard which is nuts so just. please as long as#you’re not feeding the devil called amazon for god’s sake
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Today I got to have an entire 3 message long dm convo with Alex Hirsch. I am never getting over this high.
#Alex Hirsch#this is the greatest day of my life#I even managed to show total decorum#didn't even use any words like decorum#I wanted to. but I didn't.#didn't even use the word macabre. wanted to do that too. I used normal words that normal humans use#as to not sound like a complete and total tool#hopefully ahfkajgkkak#I restrained myself to only saying 3 messages bc any more than that and I'd have to publically execute myself for overstepping boundaries#and I didn't even use any key smashes! and only One socially acceptable emoji.#I can't stop myself from using emojis entirely. those are a disability accomodation at this point ahfkjskgjskgjak#hey are these normal things to think#I think so#I got his twitter message directly at the start of my train ride and I've been processing my emotions for the rest of the trip#I keep nearly flagging down the train attendants to be like 'hiiii can I tell you about the good news :) not in a jesus way I promise'#but once again: restraint 🙏#you're WELCOME train attendants#it was so funny though Alex was like 'lemme know what you want to have grunkle stan say!'#and even when given permission to talk I was like damn he's going to kill me if I send a message#but I sent it#and he was very very nice#and will be sending me the grunkle stan recording tomorrow (✷‿✷)#work is going to be physically impossible tomorrow#sorry customers please pardon me while I run to the produce cooler and scream at the top of my lungs for 20-30 minutes#fluffle talks#what's the opposite of emotional devastation. bc I'm that right now.
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You know the Bible does go kinda hard when you start to read it like a very rough draft of a Percy Jackson-like novel with too much world-building cause there was absolutely no reason for gayboy Jesus to do all that shit
#like I know some of it is historically relevant like how wine was usually safer than water in many areas#but that one story where he pulls up on some guys gossiping about him and all but invites himself over for dinner#only to reveal that he's the guy they're gossiping about then disappear without a trace#like that man did NOT need to scare and gaslight them dudes like that#or him deciding to do shit like rub some dirt on the blind person's eyes???#you're telling me that wasn't just for theatrics??#this mf rose from the dead and walked on water but he can't just go HEALED and suddenly he can see???#like I know ppl like to pull the whole obedience thing with that but like??? mf Im blind you can't just help a guy out???#also. no reason for him to die on the cross#like legit that is just because he wanted people to see his ass suffer#'I'm doing this for all of you!' No one asked you to do all that you could've just used ur Jesus Powers#like historical oppression aside dude could've just said no. no thanks. I cast Breaks Your Whip and also Kills You Dead#'Actually I would like the Jews to not be persecuted for existing. I cast Moses 2.0!'#but no he had to make sure people SAW that shit. make a whole thing of it knowing damn well he'd be back in 3 days#AND still let Jewish people get persecuted for the next 2 millennia#like if I could go in and read only the interesting parts of Jesus the same way we do with Zeus now???#I'd eat that shit up#religious trauma#ex christian
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Luna and obi wan
Having to raise, train and parent an (ok just sometimes) irresponsible, reckless, unreasonable and mentally unstable teen that just wants to have a normal life but has to be a brave skilled warrior and save the World*
A thrilling saga
#*(aswell as their friends while keeping them all in line cleaning up their chaos they leave behind getting them out of trouble-#-and protecting their world from their enemys) they are not getting paid enough for all of this (nothing)#they need a break#they are so done#luna and obi wan would drink tea together (he would pour hers into a bowl) and gossip about their childs and their responcebilitys and life#they would get along so well no one can tell me otherwise#they would understand each other perfect#also they would troll and sass the sh*t out of their childs and everyone who dares to cross their way#also i think bunny and anakin would would hate each other and argue/fight without an end all day#star wars#star wars prequels#obi wan kenobi#star wars fandom#attack of the clones#revenge of the sith#the phantom menace#space jesus#anakin skywalker#star wars the clone wars#sailor moon#luna sailor moon#usagi tsukino#bunny tsukino#i'll dissapear for weeks and then come back to post 3 times in a row thats me sorry (no really sorry)
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slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery
(creature by half•alive)
(textless + timelapse below cut)
#yellowart#subnautica#i feel like the timelapse is kinda long but also this did take a long time to make#anyways. let me yap about the meanings of all the panels <3#'i am creation' -> the ocean being the source of life and where shit evolved from also a good way to sort of 'set the scene' for subnautica#'both haunted' -> GHOST leviathan; in the BONE fields#'and holy' -> this one was a bit trickier. debated about using the emperor but i knew i wanted to use her elsewhere#also debated hoverfish because its cute and well liked so i thought that would be funny for 'and holy'#also something something jesus walking on water also makes it fitting. in the end though i decided on a peeper with the enzyme trail#and i *tried* to make it loop over its head like a halo but idk how well that imagery came through. still mentioned it in the alt text tho.#'made in glory' -> was REALLY torn about this one. on the one hand i wanted to have like a picture of the code because something something#divine machine and it being made out of code making it inherently holy or something; but i wasnt sure if that would be too#'immersion breaking' since most of the stuff in this is like in game stuff i wasnt sure if acknowledging that it was a game would be#too much. my other idea was to draw a couple of creature eggs like a stalker egg and a spadefish egg or something; but in the end i just#went with the one that i personally thought was cooler so if you think it does feel out of place uhhhh sorry i guess lmao.#also yes that is code from the game. idk shit about programming i just think code shit is cool so i poked though a modding tutorial til i#found what it is they use to look at that shit and started poking around. its pretty cool tbh. anyways the specific part i chose for the#drawing was something under the peepers; i think its the bit that tells the enzyme peepers to do the enzyme stuff like the trail obviously#but also some other stuff. not 100% sure though like i said idk shit about this sort of thing but everything in there seems pretty well#labeled its kinda impressive. and very helpful for navigating even if you dont know shit lol.#anyways. 'even the depths of the night cannot blind me' -> blood kelp trench is i think one of the darkest biomes in the game#possibly THE darkest so i thought it would be fitting. probably my least favorite panel though i dont think i did a very good job#representing the area or representing the bloodvines :/#'when you guide me' -> sea emperor but more specifically her messages to the player telling you to 'come here'#'creature only' -> not sure how well i can articulate this but basically the idea of humans beig animals with animal needs to eat and drink#and the idea of being a part of the ecosystem. modern life tends to make us forget that sort of thing but id imagine for ryley being on the#planet would violently remind him of this with things trying to eat him while he has to try to eat things as well. being part of the food#web. 'creature only' because he is only a creature not non-essential systems maintenance chief; but a creature living in an environment and#trying to survive. or something like that. does that make any fucking sense to anyone besides me? whatever.#anyways yapping over 👍
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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me
#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what#oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened#it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs#200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs#like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo#also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1098#also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here#sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido#episode 1099#<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him#and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr#LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain#zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto#robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself#after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK#episode 1100#<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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everyone im telling about my new possible hyperfixation are all being haters or teasing me and im genuinely about to like strangle someone
#remember yesterday how i said one small thing could set me off to the point of me starting ragnarok#brother this might be it#jormundgandr take me now#i know theyre teasing. but#when i tell people i feel like im about to hyperfixate on. the odyssey. (and epic the musical in turn)#and they go 'jesus christ'#and 'ill pray for you'#perhaps im just in a rough spot mentally but#poks office chair#can we all be a little nice to me maybe. can we all be a little nice to the autistic guy?#can we be nice to the autistic guy whos gonna tear his house down brick by brick if people keep teasing me ?#also ive managed to fit like 3 different pantheons in these tags
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idfk just look at the babygirls :)
#NOOO I FORGOT THE BALD SHINE :(#it's funky to me :)) idk :))#someone said saying XD is cringe so I drew Mikey saying it because IT'S FUN AND SILLY AND YOUR JUST A MEANIE >:(((#drew these while listening to some guy talk about crime? I think mostly..ALSO MY DUDE WENDIGOON; LOVE THAT GUY#bby gurl has her first encounter (jesus that was hard to spell) with transfem voice training?#ig? uhm I first found out of it from One Topic covering a Trans subreddit...I don't remember which-- uh#I have school in like 3-ish hours :) fuckingkillmegoddamnitfuckshirbitchUGGHHIWANNAKMS/SOBBING/MYPARENTSSAYohitsnotthatbadBUTITIS:(((((#hahah now back my regularly silly little guy persona xPP!!#OMFG WHY DID N O O N E TELL ME '03 IS SO FUN AND GREAT AND AAAA (how can I do the shakey stim hands through text—)ANYWAY IT SO FUN ILOVE#oh! OH! UHMM so my mom apparently got me a trisaratops plush for Valentines:)) but I didn't get it till a few days ago because I just went#over a few days ago :p my sister got a bear it kind of looks like a Care Bear yaknow??#I should....add real tags....#uhm ok#2012 tmnt#2k12 tmnt#mikey 2012#michelangelo 2012#leo 2012#leonardo 2012#transfem leo#<-wait does that always have to be tagged? well..I guess for the people who have it blocked yeah :^ I'll leave it:)#my friend....just that thats it just her#idk I was gonna say something but then forgor :((((#okay so I've only seen 8 ep of s1 in 03 and ive seen 12 and rise so I'm gonna put my fav from each so far :))#uhm okay 03: Raph; Mikey; Donnie; Leo. 12: Mikey; Leo; Donnie; Raph. Rise: I have rewatch it :( but from how brain going rn#Lee;Dee;Mike;Raph :)))#or Dee;Lee;Raph;Mike...OR—#okay i'll stop now#OH MY FUCKING GOD I JUST LOOKED AT HOW MANY TAGS I ADDED AND JESUS FUCK HOLY SHIT#if you read all of these...I...Ijust...damn..thank you for listening to my stupid thoughts <3
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#hi. this is going to be an ugly one#feel free to skip this because its gonna be rough#personal#in the winter of 2015 my girlfriend took her own life. she said she was sick and stayed home from school#she texted me “I love you.” and i knew she was gone before anyone would tell me#her parents murdered her. not directly. they didn't lay a hand on her. but they made her life so miserable that she felt she had#no other choice than to die. because they were homophobic. because they didn't believe in mental illness.#because they believed she could be 'cured' thru jesus. and they didn't love her for who she really was#and i hate them. i hate them more than any people on earth. because they will never admit it#they will never admit their role in her death. they blamed it on her eating disorder and brushed everything else under the rug#i didn't get to know her that well before she died. we only knew each other a few months.#and i.... god damnit#it still makes me so angry#this was nearly 10 years ago i cant fucking believe it.#her parents got all the fucking sympathy in the world when they deserved none.#they fucking killed her. anyone who actually knew her knows it. but no one is brave enough to say it#her dad worked at the school i had to go to for 3 more years and i just wanted to#either crawl in a hole or punch him in his stupid fucking face#everytime i saw him. she's dead because they couldn't conceive of a world where she could be gay and happy#or athiest and a good person. she told me she didn't believe any of the stuff her family did and i nearly threw up at her funeral#because it was all about god and jesus. and honestly it was barely about her. it was all about jumping on the pity train#for their poor parents.#i ran away from the casket. i didnt think she wouldve wanted any of this shit. i couldnt bear it#and i think. they sent her to one of those bullshit religious camps that abuse kids instead of actually treating their conditions#i honestly dont know what all they put her through. it makes me sick to imagine it.#i get all worked up about this everytime its terrible. i just cant understand how you can do that to your own child#and they fucking got away with it.#it makes me so furious beyond fucking reason like its un fucking real#sometimes living is . much harder than dying. i cant really elaborate much more than that#i miss you.
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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i think Simon is the kinda guy who doesnt cuss much. so like when he Does cuss it gets everyone's attention
#or at least if he's cussing most of the time he's doing it in asl so anyone who doesnt know it/isnt paying attention wont notice#he doesnt cuss Out Loud that often#anyway a lil bit of Gutsfics Lore: i was raised. somewhat mormon? mormon enough to not like saying Bad Words while we were still members#anyway when i was in like 4th grade i think we Really started to pull away from the church bc my dad being gay. thats not the important par#but like since i was realising that parts of the church were bs (bc a bunch of people just suddenly flipped on us bc of my dad)#i thought hey maybe the church is Wrong about a lot of things. maybe i WONT go to Hell if i say ass instead of butt#so like one day at lunch we were talking about something idr what but i think i called it like “shit” or something#not even one of the worst cuss words. but EVERYONE at the the table went quiet for a few seconds b4 being like#“HOLY FUCK THE JESUS GIRL SAID SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”#it was awesome :]#i meaaaaan. technically that wasnt the first time i cussed bc i once jokingly said that something was “from hell”#& defended that by saying i was using it the way its used in the bible#the mormon friend i said it to Did get mad at me though#anyway there is ABSOLUTELY a moment where the first time Si drops a Fuck Bomb everyone stops and goes “wtffffffff”#it happens during Ace arc he tells Asher to Shut The Fuck Up when he resigns from the comittee <3
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hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
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you can tell who actually came here to fish and knows the horrors of the sun and who is just here for fun silly pr and have no intentions to deep sea fish
#only 3 boys came with long sleeve light weight shirts? oh we've lost the ancient texts#yeah ekkys worn that hoodie before#thats one of his many fishing outfits#because ofc the man who bought a fucking fishing boat because he kept annoying matheson about taking him out on his boat has fishing outfits#ekky did not come here to play hes locked the fuck in#while mikksy and forsy do fish and have gone deepsea fishing before you can kinda tell its not super their thing#forsy has stated before he likes lake fishing more despite ekky taking him out for some deep sea fishing#and mikksy has bragged about catching a dorado but thats about as much fishing stories ive heard from him#aside from the sturgeon tagging trip ekky organised (and mikksy was invited!!! so he does like fishing a lot!!!!)#lundy also likes fishing and does fish in the summer#but the scandinavians give more of a “i like lake fishing more than deep sea fishing” vibe#ekky has also taken benny out fishing in his boat but it seems more of a eh its a fun activity to fuck around with if a friend invites me#but im not gonna go out of my way to do it like ekky does#anyways why am i rambling about fishing in the tags jesus#im just here for maffhews cute fun flirty shorts hes been flaunting about in the same way animals have favourite colours#which tend to be fluorescent because its very attention grabbing re: gators preferring the colour pink and gravitating towards pink flowers#if they fall in their water enclosures yeah that was a study i read the article and it was fantastic
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hellblade: senua's sacrifice is not a video game, it's a mental illness simulator
#the intrusive thoughts were getting to me ngl#jesus.#mse's playing hellblade: senua's sacrifice#idk if i want to play the sequel tbh it was a bit much#it has a positive message and all but i'm not sure i want to experience psychosis for fun you know#i do wonder if the permadeath mechanic the game tells you about is actually real#or if it's only there to psych you out#because let me tell you there were one or two absolute bullshit levels in this game that i thought would kill me alone#hmpppphhhhh anyway i'm gonna go and wind down for 3 days now bye#great game though! i'll probably never touch it again!
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