#no one gets 20 cm like i do

[minglana]

the lack of spatial awareness spaniards have is astounding

[earlyspringtranscendence]

attempting another raglan knitwear item [screaming and crying car crash sound effect cat yowling glass breaking]

[murphysletsdraw]

If you want to eat the best chocolate biscuits ever do this

3 1/2 dl (182 grams) white flour 1 big pinch salt 2 tsp baking powder

Mix these ^^^ together in a bowl. Then you need 175 grams butter (kerrygold if you can get it) 60 g dark chocolate (some nice REAL chocolate, not baking chocolate) 1,5 dl (140 grams) sugar 2 tsp vanilla extract Melt the butter, then add in the chocolate, sugar and vanilla extract and stir until chocolate has melted too. Add in the dry ingredients, mix.

Get one or two baking trays, slap some baking paper on there and shape the dough into

Make these shapes nice and flat, less than a cm tall.

Let it rest in the fridge for 20 mins, then bake at 175 degrees celsius for 8-13 minutes.

Once they're out of the oven, slice them into fingers like

Then let cool on a rack. Just trust me. They're all I can think about

[ddejavvu]

Hi, I love your work so so much, but I've been too afraid to like to say it... you are such a phenomenal writer! ❤️❤️

I had a thought/request for cm? I think it'd be so cute/soft if like... the reader took meds or something, and while they are on a very important case it comes time to take their meds but they're very invested in working stuff out or whatever... and then a few of the team members phones go off and on of them is like, welp it's time to take your meds, and you're just like 🫠 you have an alarm to make sure I take it on time. I need some team fluff!

There's no room for recreation in your schedule. You personally think that being flown to the sunny beaches of florida and being confined to a stuffy police precinct is evil, but so are serial killers, you suppose.

Your head is starting to ache, and by the deep sigh that JJ lets out, hers is, too. The last thing on your mind are the little pills in your go bag, but your eyes are starting to droop from where they're scanning over a plotted map. Lines are starting to blur together, and you're thankful for the intrusion of an alarm.

Wait, two alarms.

Three, you note, frowning as you glance at the clock: 8:00.

Hotch's phone is one that buzzes as its pressed to his cheek, and he interrupts his running dialogue to scan the room for you.

"-understood. We'll send a team out, they should be there in 20. Y/L/N," He calls, and you stiffen slightly, ready for orders, "Take your medicine."

Those weren't the orders you'd been expecting. Your brow dips, creased in a frown as Hotch goes back to his conversation.

You glance questioningly at Reid, but all the doctor does is hold up his own phone.

"Your medicine," He prompts, showing the alarm ringing on his screen, "You're supposed to take it at 8:00."

"Here," JJ sticks a hand over your shoulder, pill bottle in hand, "Do you have water?"

Aaron's still engaged in conversation over the phone, but apparently parenting has given him good multitasking skills, because he hears JJ's question and passes his own water bottle to you, the plastic looking comically small in his large hands.

"Thank you," You mumble, "Uh- you set alarms on your phones... for me?"

"You don't do it for yourself," Derek teases, pinching at your side as you struggle to juggle both the pill bottle and the water. When you get the cap off of the medicine bottle Morgan takes it from you, shaking out the dosage you need and screwing the cap back on.

"I take them," You defend yourself, taking a swig of water and washing the medicine down, "I was just preoccupied tonight."

"And that's why we have the alarms," Rossi reasons, "Penelope had to help Reid and I with ours, she's the one that found your medical records and told us what time you needed to take them."

"That snoop," You scoff, "Someone has to take those computers away from her."

"I've tried," Aaron reasons, finally off his phone call, "She always outsmarts me. You took the meds?"

"Yeah," You nod, "Uh, thanks, guys."

"Anytime," Derek goads, ruffling your hair despite your protests to fight him off, "Someone let Garcia know you took 'em, or she'll call you herself."

Before Prentiss can pick her phone up off of the table, yours rings. There's a round of snickers throughout the room, and you raise it to your ear with a fondly exasperated sigh, "Yes, Penelope, I took my meds."

[room-surprise]

How Old Is Thistle?

(EDIT: I've made a follow-up post to this one that goes deeper into the math and additional evidence that the 5:1 ratio is correct. You can read it here!)

I've seen people debating this and a lot of folks insisting that Thistle is a child, and since Thistle just debuted in the anime, I wanted to do a full write-up to help myself and others figure this out.

We don't know how old any of the Merini family members are exactly, so the best we can do is guess based on the information we have, but after carefully studying the manga, I think Thistle is at least a teenager, but much more likely a young adult, and definitely not a prepubescent child.

Here's what we know:

EDIT: Depending on what translation you read of some of the extra materials, Freinag implies that Thistle is the same age as some of his advisors.

Here's a detailed translation of this panel from my friend Fumi:

Elves age 5 times slower than tall-men.

16 year old tall-men in Dungeon Meshi's medieval time period are adults, they commonly join the military, get married, have children, etc.

An 80 year old elf is an adult. Pattadol is 82 and she's a lieutenant in a military unit. It's her first job and she's obviously a rookie, but Captain Flamela tells Pattadol to accomplish her mission or die trying.

Many fully adult elves look like what we might consider children or young teens, because they're short, petite, and have androgynous features.

An average elven adult is around 150-155cm tall (5 ft), meaning some are shorter than that, and some are taller. Thistle is 130 cm, which is short, but not unheard of.

Fleki is 130 (26) years old and she's 140 cm tall (4'7")

Otta is 137 (27) years old and she's 130 cm (4'5") tall, the same height as Thistle!

They are both women, but there's probably plenty of elven men in their height range.

Just so we can compare Thistle to some adult elven men, Mithrun and his brother are probably adults (or close to it) in the panel on the left.

Mithrun (in this image) is somewhere between 75 and 144 (probably in his 80's), and his brother is older than him (so he could be in his late 80s or 90s). As you can see, they don't look that different from Thistle, Otta or Fleki.

So, how old is Thistle?

(Spoilers below the cut)

Thistle was brought to the royal court as a child (found on the street, stolen or purchased, we don't know how they got him). At the absolute youngest I'd guess Thistle is 25 years old here (so about 5 years old for a tall-man.) He can already play the flute, and possibly the lute, and most children that aren't prodigies can't handle playing an instrument (physically or mentally) until they're around 5.

EDIT: We now know that Thistle is the same age as Freinag, the king that takes him in! So Thistle must be at least 25 years old in this comic, though realistically he could be anywhere from 25 to 40 based on how Kui drew Freinag.

He lived in the court for an unknown amount of time, Freinag hasn't changed much but Thistle appears to have aged a little, so let's say it's been 5 years and Thistle is 30 (6) when Delgal is born. More than 5 years could have passed, but I'm trying to keep the numbers low.

Delgal gets married and has a child. Delgal should be at least 15 at this point, but since he has a full mustache before his wedding, I think he's in his 20's, since teenagers tend to not be the best at growing robust facial hair.

(He has a full beard by the time Eodio's a young child.)

Thistle puts the kingdom inside the dungeon around this point, however, people are still aging: Delgal's grandson Yaad is born, and Eodio is clearly a young adult here, probably in his 20's. Therefore, there is NO REASON to assume Thistle stopped aging. "The dungeon lords don't age" is a common fan headcanon I've seen people spreading, but it has no clear canon basis.

Yaad ages until he looks about 13-15 years old, and at this point all of the people of the kingdom and Thistle appear to stop aging, and 1,000 years pass.

So, the youngest Thistle could possibly be, if he was 30 (6) when Delgal was born, if Delgal was 15 when he had Eodio, and Eodio was 15 when he had Yaad, and Yaad is 13 years old...

Is 73 years old, which would make Thistle about 14.6 years old by tall-man standards.

HOWEVER, I think it's VERY unlikely that all the characters are that young.

I think it's clear from Kui's drawings that Delgal and Eodio are not 15 years old when they become fathers, and that Freinag is at least 25 when he takes in Thistle.

If we assume Thistle was 30 when Delgal was born, and Delgal and Eodio were both at least 20 when they had children, even if Yaad is only 13 years old, that makes Thistle at least 83 years old (16.6), and makes him older than Pattadol, who is an adult at 82.

However, I think it's entirely possible that Thistle was anywhere from 40-50 when Delgal was born, and Delgal could have been anywhere from 20 to 30 when he had Eodio, and Eodio could have been anywhere from 20-25 when he had Yaad. If you use the maximum ages, and assume Yaad is 15, then Thistle could be as old as 120 (24).

I think a reasonable middle ground is assuming Thistle was 30 (6) when Delgal was born, Delgal had Eodio at 25, Eodio had Yaad at 20, and Yaad is 15... Which would make Thistle 90 (18) years old.

This of course says nothing about Thistle's emotional maturity or sanity, he's obviously stunted in some ways, but the point I want to make here is:

Thistle's age could be anywhere from 14.6 to 24 at the most extreme, but more realistically he's somewhere between 16.6 and 18.

And that's not even counting the thousand years that he's lived since then!

And that's all I've got to say about that 🙏🙏🙏🙏

(EDIT: Follow-up post with additional evidence here.) EDIT 2: I've seen a lot of people talking about the page Kui drew talking about elven earmuffs. It's considered just barely okay for Pattadol to wear them, but it's ok for Thistle to wear them... In which case I'd say Thistle could be any age younger than 83. That's handy as it knocks out some of the older ages!

So in that case Thistle's age is between 73 years old and 82, which makes him developmentally between 14.6 and 16.4!

[miley1442111]

no promises- a.hotchner

a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)

summary: aaron had to save you.

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

warnings: general cm minds topics, guns, trauma, a kid is hurt, talk of abductions, talk of harm coming to the team, the reader is harmed, talk of surgery, talk of choking, etc.

You hadn't even realised he was behind you until you felt the familiar but unwelcome sting of a bullet in your arm. You screamed out, falling to the ground in pain as he ran off. 

Get up. Something inside you said. What if he gets to the team? To Aaron?

You got up. 

Running after him, you ignored the sounds of the rest of the team on comms and continued, following his footsteps. You can’t shoot him, you reminded yourself. He’s the only one who knows where the kid is. 

You caught a glimpse of his hand, turning left. “Put your hands up, put the gun down,” you pointed your own at him, the young girl in his hands as he pointed a gun at her. “Put the gun down now.” 

He didn’t respond, a sick smile on his face. He’d been abducting children, ones that eerily reminded you of your little sister. Your eyes were closing and you could practically feel the blood flowing out of you, he’d definitely hit you somewhere bad. Yet, you had to save this girl, even if it was the last thing you ever did. 

“And why, pray tell, should I?” He asked, a disgusting smirk on his dirty face. “Do you not wish her the same fate as yourself?”

“No,” You grunted out, still ignoring the screams from the other side of the comms. No one had followed you into the hidden door in the back of the warehouse, leading to a maze of endless rooms and confusing signs. “She’s a little girl, take me instead.”

His interest was piqued. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron felt sick to his stomach. “Take me instead.” was ringing in his ears as he scoured the warehouse, desperately trying to find him. He felt everything was happening in slow motion, he could taste the copper of his own blood, he’d been biting his lips. His anxiety was taking over. You hadn’t spoken on the comms for a whole 20 minutes, you could’ve already been gone. He’d heard gunshots, you could be dead and he’d be able to do nothing. 

Nothing. 

“Sir,” He heard a sobbing child, he whipped his head around and saw her, the little girl the unsub had last taken, hsi heart stopped. Immediately he wrapped her up in his arms, allowing her to cry into his chest. When his ears finally focused in, he could hear her soft apologies, he pulled his head away, adrenaline and genuine dread running through his body. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he promised her, cutting her off. “Look at me- you have nothing to apologise for, at all.”

“But the woman-” she cried and his face hardened. Damnnit. 

“We’ll find her, don’t worry.”

“She was bleeding!” she cried into his chest, sobbing harder. 

“She’ll be ok, she’s strong,” He whispered, quelling her tears and after a few minutes she slowly allowed the exhaustion to overtake her and fell asleep against him. In that time, he’d let his own tears fall, you were hit. You were missing. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron walked through the confusing maze with a SWAT team hot on his heels. Finding there was one exit and entrance, you and the unsub still had to be in there. Spencer was busy mapping out the warehouse and maze through small drone cameras they’d sent out around 40 minutes after your comms were shut off but Aaron couldn’t wait any longer. You were missing. 

They’d found your earpiece on the floor beside your gun and a trail of blood. The trail of blood followed on the wall, and they silently moved along it. Everyone held their breath as they kicked open a door, just praying to find the unsub and you, alive. 

They found what they were looking for, just not in the conditions they wanted. You were on a surgery table, a heart monitor showed that you were barely alive. Aaron wanted to scream. He set his sights on the unsub, an unfamiliar rage settling in him. His hands were around the asshole's neck before he even knew what he was doing, and it took three officers to pull him off. 

He blacked out after that. Spencer said he went with you in the ambulance, and waited for 14 hours while you had emergency surgery. 

You were alive. You had 12 broken ribs, a broken arm, shattered hip-bone, some facial wounds from when the unsub had beaten you up, and you’d lost a kidney and almost a lung. But you were alive.   

Aaron walked into your hospital room the second the nurse said he could. He saw you sitting there, being fed jello by a nurse and he smiled. You were still alive. 

You looked at him and smiled to the best of your abilities. “Hi,” you croaked out.

“I love you,” he said, taking your right hand. Surprise spread across your features and a warmth set in your stomach. 

“I love you too.” 

“Never do that again,” he said with bated breath. “I think you’ve taken years off my life with the stress.”

“No promises,” you joked and he smiled. “Now feed me my jello.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :)

[laswells-ashtray]

How I think different COD characters act with kids:

Price is like that scene from Heat where Pacino picks up the little girl from the middle of a shoot-out and walks away holding her, muttering "I got you, it's okay." If a toddler walks up to him looking for help finding Mum, he'll pick them up and walk around holding them as they try to find her: "What colour is Mum's hair, sweetheart?"

Soap is great with kids, rough at first but when he works out if they're the boisterous or quiet type, he'll adjust himself accordingly so that the little one isn't uncomfortable. If he has a snack on him then he'll share it with them. Has a lot of nieces and nephews and he is the favourite uncle because he will let them swear when Mum and Dad aren't around.

If you let Gaz look after your kids then they'll leave thinking he's the coolest person ever, no-one knows how he does it but kids just think he is the single most impressive guy they've ever met. Has one niece and she adores him, that's her best friend. Will lie to kids though, big fan of "I'm friends with Batman."

Ghost is unbelievably gentle with kids, hand him a baby and they're falling asleep in his arms. Toddlers will cling to his legs or grab at his hands. Even teenagers at their bitchiest trust him, isn't the first time he's had to defend a group of teens from some withering old pensioner with nothing better to do than yell at them. Soap takes him home and he very quickly replaces Johnny as the favourite uncle.

Nikolai will let a kid use him as a climbing frame. A kid comes up to him because they can't find Mum or Dad? He's lifting the kid up and telling them to point at where their parents are. No-one is stupid enough to try and approach the lost kid with him around because he mouths threats at them over the little one's head.

On more than one occasion a little girl has wandered up to Farah and asked if she can braid their hair like hers, she'll take a split second to look over at their guardian to see if they approve and if they do then she'll sit and very patiently braid their hair. Listening to anything the little one wants to ramble about with a smile.

Leave Alex with a kid of any age and he'll teach them about wrestling and WWE. He once accidentally spends 20 minutes talking to a teenager about The Undertaker and his lore. Had an entire conversation about the CM Punk/ Drew McIntyre feud with a 16-year-old girl once and walked away the happiest he'd been in weeks because he had no one to talk to about it before that.

Rudy is phenomenal at getting kids to calm down. If a toddler is crying or having a tantrum he'll get them calm and soon enough they'll be sitting on his knee. Kids just take to him, he visits Alejandro's family and one of the little ones grabs his hand and pulls him into the kitchen. They need to get something off of a shelf? They want Rudy's help. Need help with cutlery? Rudy has to help.

If you leave your kids with Alejandro then he will get them boisterous and excited, bouncing off of the walls and then give them back to you so he doesn't have to deal with it. Big fan of that thing guys do with babies where they lightly toss them up and catch them, subsequently scaring the tits off of any mother in the general vicinity. He has a handful of distant relatives that meet up around family times, he get's the kids all hyper and Rudy spends the next half hour calming them down while the parents drink

Valeria is a little awkward with kids. If one walks into her legs then her instinct is to scowl but once, and she'd deny it if anyone asked, a little boy walked into her legs and she automatically moved to scold him before seeing that he was crying and trailing his blankie about with him, no parents in sight. She picked him up, held him on her hip and hunted down his father before thoroughly scolding him for leaving a boy that small unattended. All while the little boy covers her shoulders with his blanket and keeps a hand fisted in her shirt, she doesn't even seem to notice that she's rubbing his back to keep him settled.

Graves isn't great with kids but he isn't bad either. If a kiddo comes wandering up to him in public because they lost their Mommy then you bet your ass he'll wait with them for as long as it takes. Any more than ten minutes and he's buying them juice. A kid wandered up to him once, their babysitter walked away and left them in a store. He finds the babysitter and forces them to call the kid's parents, waits for them to arrive and lectures the babysitter on not doing their job properly. By the time that kid goes home, he's bought them a hotdog, a juice box and a little plush bunny.

I know a lot of people are of the surprising opinion that Laswell sucks with kids but I disagree. Her wife comes from a big family and certainly, one with money. Any family event and there are seven kids minimum. Kate likes buying them animated Scooby-Doo films because it keeps the little ones quiet even for a little while. Every year the kids get a new blanket, new socks, an action figure/doll and candy of their choice from Auntie Kate. The two auntie Laswells are a favourite with little ones, school-age kids, teens and basically anyone under 25. Kate has a niece named after her on her wife's side and she'll die before anything happens to the chubby-cheeked baby girl.

[imamuzansimp-oldblog-seoseoya]

types of kisses the uppermoons would prefer from this list

cw: kissing, fluff, morning kisses, forehead, nose, cheek, neck, lip kisses, pda, pinning against wall, jealousy (if u squint), lap, slight suggestive (mostly in muzan and dōma’s part), slight ooc (especially for muzan but it’s my hc muzan in private that we should all be well acquainted with), simpery bc have you met me, manga spoilers for dōma

a/n: this has sat in my apple notes app for wayyyyyyyy too long now

the list (creds to a tumblr i forgot the name of i saved this a long time ago):

Kibitsuji Muzan

5, 1, 4, 7, 10, 13

5 (in secret kiss): this is muzan we’re talking about. no way is he showing you his affection in public. i know i have my whole ‘softie in private™️’ muzan thing (really have to think of a better name), but key word: private. the day he shows affection in public is the day i stop liking kpop (jk i’ll never stop).

1 (good morning kiss): since muzan is a softie in private™️, he will gladly shower you with good morning kisses as soon as he wakes up. if you are asleep it does not matter, he’s waking you up.

4 (kiss on the neck): he’s a demon, who i believe has a side of him that’s very flirty and spicy. if you’re a human and you give consent, he’s kissing, biting, licking your neck and feeding off the blood from there. if you’re a demon, he’s still going to kiss, bite, lick, and suck your neck. he is not picky

7 (against a wall kiss): muzan + secretly very into steamy stuff + very dominant = muzan who loves a place where he can cage you in and watch you get flustered 

10 (jealous kiss): as an extraordinarily possessive person, muzan would get jealous A LOT. which leads to a lot of jealous kisses.

13 (lap kiss): especially when he’s jealous or horny. let’s be honest we all know he’d do this if you were an actual object of his affection.

Kokushibo

3, 5, 7, 8

3 (kiss on the nose): let’s be honest, besides lip kisses, this is the only place on his face that you can kiss. his forehead is almost nonexistent and his cheeks are just eyes, unless you’d like to kiss those.

5 (in secret kiss): i feel like since kokushibo is so loyal to muzan, he wouldn’t want to kiss you in public since he’d either be in front of muzan or in the human world. besides, he’s more introverted and a demon so i don’t think he’s big on kisses in public for your reputation especially

7 (against a wall kiss): i don’t even know why, i just feel like he’d like to flex his height on you if you’re shorter than him (which is likely, he’s 190 cm/6’3”). since he’s so tall, why not flex the height while making it intimate?

8 (top of head kisses): again, on his head there are only so many places to kiss since you miss two facial features. he’d like kissing your head, but since he’s likely so much taller it makes him feel secret butterflies when you manage to kiss his head

Dōma (istg i hate this man yall dōma simps better be glad im writing for him)

i’m tempted to include everything but i’ll just put: 4, 7, 10, 12, 13

4 (kiss on the neck): this guy is the most thirsty demon (second only to karaku obvi) and we all know it. he’d probably get grumpy if he couldn’t kiss ur neck at least 10 times a day (separately. the 20 something neck kisses he gave when you woke up only count as one).

7 (against a wall kiss): dōma is……… well it’s dōma, the same guy who says akaza might get stronger if he eats women, the same guy who wanted to make inosuke’s mother his wife, the same guy who forms a crush on the people he kills. using that logic he will gladly pin you up against the wall and kiss you until you’re essentially a tomato. he will not stop even then, he won’t stop unless a

pressing matter appears (aka nothing).

10 (jealous kiss): he gets jealous easily, so why not kiss you out of jealousy too?

12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): using the same logic as 7, he loves showing you off, unlike the previous two demons. he will “accidentally” leave the door wide open when he pins you on the bed and kisses the breath out of your lungs (a common occurrence) and sucks a lot of the blood right out of your veins (another common occurrence. did you ask/want/let him? i don’t know, but i doubt it. sorry)

13 (lap kiss): do i need to explain more? 

no. 

will i? 

yes.

this man… chances are he’s not keeping it in his pants for that one.

Akaza (ITS THE BASKETBALL! *said with love*)

2, 8, 9, 13

2 (forehead kiss): since he actually has one (looking at you koku), he’s kissing yours and you’re kissing his. that’s how it’s going to work and chances are he’s going to be a blushing mess because he is weak to even a woman’s glance *watches him sip respect women juice*

8 (top of head kisses): idek why i just feel like he’d enjoy them.

9 (shy kiss): he’s shy boi with women. we all know this. when you two are in private and he’s not busy punching dōma’s face off (i love it when he does), he is with you. with you while somehow being shy even though ur dating

13 (lap kiss): he’s a respectful demon, so he’s not going to drink your blood, but he is going to act like it with the way he’s kissing your neck roughly

Sekido

4, 6, 7, 10

4 (kiss on the neck): let’s be honest, his name means accumulated anger and he quite literally has anger written on his tongue, he’s being rough with his kissing and trying (and failing) to let off some steam. absolutely the roughest out of every uppermoon, if you thought muzan and dōma were biting a lot get ready to meet this guy. he will not stop until your neck is quite literally all red. props to you for not passing out, although you probably already did

6 (public kiss): he is angry in public, and he will kiss you to try and calm down (not like it works)

7 (against a wall kiss): probably pushes you a bit too hard since he doesn’t know his own strength.

10 (jealous kiss): i don’t think i need to explain, just look at 6

Karaku

4, 7, 12, 13

4 (kiss on the neck): ……… if it’s not obvious i’m sorry for you. the kanji on his tongue is literally pleasure

7 (against a wall kiss): again, i don’t need to explain

12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): like with dōma, the kiss is only “accidentally” witnessed. he totally didn’t leave the door wide open as he pinned you up against the wall

13 (lap kiss): ………………………….. YES

Aizetsu

5, 8, 9, 12

5 (in secret kiss): shyer than akaza 🥹! (he’s so precious im sry) every single time he kisses you it’s a shy kiss.

8 (top of head kisses): chances are he’s taller, so he kisses your head when he feels lonely. most of the time you’ll also be cuddling in bed

9 (shy kiss): just read 5

12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): unlike dōma and karaku, it is a genuine accident. he didn’t mean to leave the door open when he wanted to cuddle with you and shower you with kisses, he just did

Urogi

1, 6, 7

1 (good morning kiss): loves these. more specifically, loves receiving these. he doesn’t necessarily need sleep, but when he does wind up falling asleep, it’s next to you. you’ll usually wake up before him and wake him up with the good morning kisses he adores so much

6 (public kiss): his name means sky joy and ur telling me he wouldn’t get so happy he starts making out with you in public? he also just likes lowkey showing you off

7 (against a wall kiss): signature move: gets so happy he pins you against a wall and makes out with you

Gyutaro

2, 3, 4, 11

2 (forehead kiss), 3 (kiss on the nose), 4 (kiss on the neck): please give this poor man some love. he grew up only living for his sister and everyone else turning up their nose at him. forehead, nose, cheek, neck, everything kisses are a must

11 (first kiss): your first kiss with him was magical, whether it was also your first kiss is up to you, but it was definitely his and he relished in every moment of it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

YASASHII NO DE

HE CAME IN 20 PULLS……………….. ……… ….. …. . … …. .. .. . . … . .. . .. . . . TRULY YASaSHii OF YOu, GOOD SiR 😭

***Crowley Groovy, chibi sprite, lesson lines, and vignette spoilers below the cut!***

Unfortunately, we do not get any more details on his profile. It’s the same as the profile he had before the update. Age and birthplace unknown, 185 cm tall, favorite food is wild game, and his hobby is vacationing.

SDFHEGYOGYFQEN;jkhaCWIDODB A LOT OF CROWLEY'S LINES ARE VERY CHILDISH OR GOOFY... Like he has one where he complains about Grim eating his snacks, tells on students who are sleeping in class, and gets distracted by shiny objects (which, I guess, is par for the course for a crow).

Crowley cannot attend Alchemy class and does not have Chats. His Buddies are Deuce, Vil, and Grim (with Grim being his Duo Magic partner). Deuce and Vil are interesting choices, I wonder why those two in particular... (Some friends and I were memeing earlier about how "all those characters have single parents so Crowley must be a single parent" and, "Vil is the Evil Queen and Meleanor is a princess of evil", etc.) Crowley can, however, attend the other lessons and it’s every bit as awkward as you think it is. (He has a pre-lesson line where he expresses surprise taht he has to do homework 🤡)

THE CROWLEY DOPPLEGANGER ALLEGATIONS ARE TRUE 💀 He can just straight up run into a clone of himself during lessons… THE DEVS KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING, they even goofily have Crowley say, “Oh! Hello, me!” while the other Crowley is in class for the special lesson… THEY KNEW HOW DUMB THIS WOULD BE 😭 (The dialogue states the Crowley that barges into class is a magical projection…?)

Here are some of his chibi sprites, as well as his Groovy candy. Crowley is not only very yasashii, but also very cute!!

He does, in fact, have vignettes but they are unvoiced. The first part is him running an assembly with the dorm leaders present. Crowley discusses the health of an adolescent apple tree in the school's courtyard, and no one seems to be interested in his speech. Malleus barges in late and, in a fit of anger at having not been invited, starts unleashing lightning. Wow, just like how Meleanor shoots lightning at Lilia... Like husband, like wife/j Everyone retires to their dorms, leaving Crowley to deal with an upset Malleus. The second part features Crowley having lunch with the other staff members (Sam included!). Each staff member is eating something different (Vargas is of course having eggs), and Crowley is revealed to have a great appetite in spite of his age. Crewel and Trein wonder how many decades old Crowley is, since he was apparently still headmaster when Crewel was a student and when Trein started teaching at NRC. Finally, Crowley is walking down main street and spots Yuu, Grim, and some mob students skipping class… so he uses his Lash of Love to discipline them! He binds everyone together and proceeds to drag them back to class. (It was surprising, we haven’t seen the Lash of Love since like… what, the prologue? I almost forgot about it.) Crowley alludes to the fact that even though the students joke about him, he is actually a very powerful mage that shouldn't be taken lightly, you know?? The vignettes end with Crowley referring to his students as "apple trees" that he is nourishing and watching over as they grow, which rounds us nicely back to the apple tree he mentioned in his first vignette.

BUT ANYWay HEREmS thE GROOviY in JUICy DETAIL INkjoW YOU WERE ALL WAiTING FOR

It’s so pretty AaAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaAaaAHHHHH 🥺 His grotesquely detailed hand reaching out to the viewer, who appears to be awaking from within a coffin… and do I have to mention the parallel between Crowley here and the mysterious hand that is offered to us in the mirror at the very beginning of the game????? Which could imply that Crowley is beckoning/summoning us into another world... The dim room, light spilling onto the Mirror of Darkness… So atmospheric!! If Crowley knows how to do one thing well and consistently, it’s drama~ The Groovy totally reminds me a lot of the prologue when Crowley tells Yuu to go before the mirror to get sorted. Omg guys... He's posted like Masquerade Malleus/j

One detail I super appreciate in this illustration is that you can see the dorm leaders in the background! If you squint, you’ll realize that there are 5 of them posing exactly like how they are in the following promotional artwork:

The one without a matching pose is Idia, who is present via his tablet. Though… I feel like we’re forgetting something 🤔 … Eh, I’m sure it’s nothing, nothing at allllllllll~

[cxrrodedcoffin]

Is It Casual Now? (Part 1) - Jennifer Jareau

Likes are always appreciated but reblogs and feedback keep artists going!

Summary: Reader overhears a conversation between JJ and Morgan and wonders what she is to JJ.

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: I’ve been listening to Casual by Chappell Roan too much lately and this is what happens when I do that. This is an AU where JJ and and Will are divorced, no cheating occurs.

TW: established relationship, angst, fem reader, typical cm case description, proposal

Rating: PG

——

“Yeah it’s nothing serious, we’re just keeping things casual.” It slipped so easily off her tongue, like there were never truer words said.

“I think I might be rubbing off on you JJ.” Morgan shot her an approving smirk.

Static filled your ears, completely muffling whatever crossword hint Spencer had been going on about.

“Sorry, I’ll be right back.” You mumbled, standing from your desk and walking quickly to the bathroom as you fought back tears. You know she wanted to keep things between the two of you quiet but you still couldn’t believe what you had just heard.

The door shut loudly behind you and the dam broke, tears rolling down your red cheeks.

You held your face in your hands for a moment, drawing deep breaths in an attempt to calm yourself down, but the mix of anger and sadness grew into a pit in your stomach.

After a few minutes you pulled yourself together, wiping your tears before looking in the mirror, bloodshot eyes staring back.

How could she say something like that? You knew when you started this that Jennifer wasn’t the most open to commitment, and you was okay with that in the beginning, but month after month she invited you deeper and deeper into her life. You know things that she’s never told anyone else, she built that trust between you without you asking for it.

You did what you could to touch up your makeup before returning to the bullpen, just as Garcia called the team in to brief you on the new case. You trailed behind the group, nervously straightening your skirt to distract yourself until JJ took her seat. You took one on the opposite side of the table, across from your usual spot next to her. She glanced at you, her puzzled look turning to one of concern when she presumably noticed the redness around your eyes. You broke eye contact, turning to face Penelope as she started introducing the details of the case. Truthfully you hadn’t been able to pay too much attention, you caught something about a double homicide, unsub targeting unmarried couples, staging their bodies as if in an embrace. It all felt a little too on the nose.

“Wheels up in 30.” Hotch repeated his usual mantra, dismissing the group to get ready for our flight.

You walked quickly out of the room, focusing on not tripping in your heels while hoping to avoid having to discuss anything with JJ right now. Her hand met your shoulder and you knew your escape plan had failed.

“What is up with you?” She asked, just above a whisper. You could hear the stress in her voice but you were having a hard time cutting her slack right now.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Y/N, I know you, what’s wrong?” She grew slightly more agitated, eyes scanning yours. She could read you like a book, but you were not going to discuss this here.

“I’ll tell you when we land.” You were short with her, abruptly turning to break from her grasp, leaving to grab your go bag out of your car.

20 minutes later the team boarded the jet, and you took a seat at the table with Emily and Derek.

“Listen sugar, you know I like to see your pretty face anytime I can, but I have to know, what is going on between you and J?” Morgan joked, getting straight to his point.

“Nothing, we’re good.” You tried to lie, but with a team full of profilers, that’s not exactly easy.

“Really? The two of you are usually attached at the hip.” Emily added, her and Morgan exchanging a glance.

“Yeah, I just wanted a change of pace.” You smiled at the two of them reassuringly, pulling out the book you were reading before settling further into my seat and losing yourself in the pages.

When we landed you felt yourself shift into autopilot, going through the motions of setting up at the local precinct and pairing up with Prentiss to interview the witnesses and family members.

When the day was through the team headed to the hotel, Hotch handing out the room assignments. You knew this was coming, JJ and you always roomed together even before you started seeing each other, you were best friends before all of this and it was just routine at this point. You unlocked the door to the room, dropping your bag on the dresser and hurrying to undress and get in the shower as quickly as possible, partially to wash the grime of the day off, and partially to avoid JJ who you knew was only a couple minutes behind you.

As the warm water rushed over your skin you heard the door open and shut, followed by her footsteps nearing the bathroom door. Knock knock.

“You can’t avoid me forever.” Her voice rang from the other side of the door. You ignored her, taking your time scrubbing yourself down before rinsing off and wrapping a towel around your frame. You braced yourself for a moment before finally exiting the bathroom. Your footsteps stopped right outside the door, leaving ample space between the two of you. JJ sat on the edge of her bed, sending a text before tossing the phone onto the nightstand beside her.

“You said you’d tell me what was wrong when we landed, you’ve avoided me the whole day. Please tell me what is going on.” She seemed genuinely concerned, that gloss over her eyes that only appeared when she was on the verge of tears starting to form. Seeing her like that had you choked up before you could even open your mouth. You thought you wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, but now you were regretting that more than ever. You never wanted to hurt her, even if the uncertainty was killing you.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You blurted out, the words catching in your throat as tears threatened your waterline.

“What do you mean?” She questioned, panic in her voice.

“I know we agreed to keep things casual but I can’t do it anymore, I’m in love with you.” Your voice cracked, a tear slipping down your cheek as your hands anxiously gripped at the edge of the towel wrapped around you.

“Babe, where is this coming from?” Your confession caught her off guard but not for the reasons you thought.

“The conversation you had with Derek this morning, you told him what we have was just casual.” You choked out, your body practically vibrating with emotion.

“That’s what this is about? You have to know I wasn’t serious, I was just trying to stop Morgan from prying any further.” She stood, taking quick steps to close the space between you two.

“I didn’t know if you’d want the rest of the team to know about us, I didn’t even know if you’d want there to be an official ‘us’ considering how this started, this is my fault.” Her tone grew more frantic, you rarely saw her this panicked.

“Stop.” Your voice was still shaky but you tried to be as firm as possible to snap her out of it. It worked, her expression going blank as she waited for you to speak.

“I need to know if you’re serious.” You finally calmed yourself, the rational part of your brain taking over.

“I am, I promise. This whole time I thought I’d never be able to commit to one person, but you have changed everything I thought I knew about myself. I love you.” She slowly wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you flush against her.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Her tone was soft, almost breathy as she brought her face closer to yours, your lips almost brushing.

Your heart felt like it was about to burst out of your chest, you’d waited years to hear her say those words whether you were conscious of it or not, and now that it was happening you felt love-drunk.

“Marry Me.” You whispered, almost too afraid to say it.

“You mean it?” She asked, searching your eyes for any hint of doubt.

“Yes.” You were never more sure of anything you’d ever said in your life.

“Of course I will.” Her lips crashed into yours in a blur of passion and pain and years of built up tension finally being released. You could hardly breathe, having to remind yourself to do so in the heat of the moment.

——

Part 2 can be found here

Tag List: @lover-of-books-and-tea

DM me or send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my Jennifer Jareau or general taglist :)

[physics-of-one-piece]

How heavy are Corazon's and Doflamingo's coats?

Oooh, this is a great question! Thank you for this ask! This will be a long answer, since I need to tackle some body measurements for this, so... Yeh!

I'll go with the logic that the feathers are flamingo feathers, Doflamingo's from pink flamingos, and Cora's from black feather flamingos or myb they're dyed black, who knows. First, size!

The coats are all the way down to their feet, a few inches above ground. Let's give it 10 cm above ground. Let's put Cora's to be 2.83 meters in length. And Doflamingo's 2.95 meters in length.

Those coats are huge, and fully made of feathers both inside and outside it The only problem is are the feathers the small ones or the large ones? I'll say both, since some are pretty noticeable on the outline, especially at the collar, and even climb above Doffy's head, though that's because he puts the coat on his shoulders.

About Flamingo Feathers

Flamingo feathers range from 10-15cm in length and 2-4cm in width. They're larger than most bird feathers. Each feather can cover an area of 20-60cm² (0.002m²-0.006m²). This will be important later.

DQ Brothers Chest Width

Okay, that out of the way, we need width of the coats now, for that we need chest width and chest circumference (because the coats need to be WIDER than chest circumference) DQ bros... OFF WITH YOUR SHIRTS SO PHYSICS CAN MEASURE YOU!

Fuck yes, this is the best day ever. I should have became a stylist. If after this, nobody writes Doffy x Reader x Corazon where Reader has to take measurements of the DQ brothers bodies to make their clothes/coats, then I have failed in my endeavours.

The chest width is 1/3 or 1/4th of a height. So, with that in mind... We'll put 1/3rd:

Doffy:

3/3= 1, so 1 meter

3/4= 0.75 meter

So his chest is 0.75-1 meter wide. Mmmm. (Incoherent noises) I like taking measurements very much. Thank you, One Piece gods. Let's put Doffy's to be... The maximum. He's quite wide. 🫣

Doffy Chest Width = 1 meter

With that we measure chest circumference. Chest circumference is typically 1.5 times the chest width. Therefore!

Doffy's Chest Circumference: 1 × 1.5 = 1.5 meters

Corazon's Chest Width = 0.97 m

Corazon’s Chest Circumference = 1.46 m

Now, I want everyone to pull out their rulers. Spread those babies out to 1 m width. And lie on them. That's how big they are. That's how small you are when you lay atop their torso/chest. YOU WELCOME.

Corazon's Feather Coat

Cora is 2.93 m. His arms are half that length each. So that gives us... 1.46 meters for sleeves (which are not part of the circumference, but are important for area).

First, we need an area of the body of the coat.

The DQ brothers' bodies are wide even if they do look lean they look lean because they're 3 fckn meters tall. The 1 meter circumference usually used for loose coats is inaccurate. The coat is WIDER than the DQ brothers, it flares out, like wings.

Okay, we add FLARE. That's 20%.

Width (of Rosinante's coat)

0.97 + (0.20×0.97) = 0.97 + 0.194 = 1.16 m (I don't like this result bcs in the manga there is a lot of the coat on each side, so we'll round it to be 1.2 m instead, prob needed more flare, so 60cm of the coat on each side should be good for Rosi. Those coats are meant to be big, they're meant to INTIMIDATE. Can't intimidate SHIT with only 10 cm of the coat on each side.)

Width (of Rosinante's coat) = 1.2 m

Circumference (of Rosinante's Coat)

Chest Circumference + (0.20× Chest Circum)

1.46 + (0.20 × 1.46) = 1.75 m

Circumference of Rosi's Coat = 1.75 m

And now, with the circumference of his coat, we can now get the AREA of his coat. Remember how I mentioned the length of Rosi's arms? Well, we need that for the length of his sleeves + the area of his sleeves. First, coat body.

Rosi's Coat Body

Circumference of Rosi's Coat = 1.75 m

Length of Coat = 2.83 m

Surface Area of Body = length × circumference × 2 = 2.83 × 1.75 × 2 = 9.905 m²

Yaay, we got the coat body area. Now for sleeves

Rosi's Sleeves Area

Gotta be honest, I used my armchair's armrest width for this bcs I think it fits. The width of Rosi's arm is 20 cm up top. The circumference is then 0.6 m. We put that into the area formula:

Area of Sleeve = length of sleeve × circumference = 1.46 × 0.6 = 0.876 m²

For both sleeves

Both Sleeves = 2× 0.876m²= 1.75 m²

We add that to the body area...

Rosi's Coat Area = 9.90 + 1.75 = 11.65 m²

Number of Feathers on Rosi’s Coat

We'll use the big black flamingo feathers. Before anyone assaults these two for animal abuse, a flamingo has 10,000-50,000 feathers. Average feather coats have about 2,000 feathers used depending on the feather. Could I have just said Doffy & Rosi have that amount of feathers — 10,000? Yes. Would that be lazy of me? Yes. Also, flamingos have black flight feathers hidden on the underside of their wings, so that's where the feathers for Rosinante's coat came from, most likely! So, you can say Rosinante is the thing that keeps Doflamingo flying. (I'm fine, I'm fine. 😭) Remember how I said the feathers take up 0.002m²? Well... We did all these to get this simple calculation.

Surface Area/Area Feathers Cover = Feather Count

11.65/0.002 = 5,825 feathers

And now the simplest calculation of all. The underside black feathers are actually a bit heavier than the pink feathers. We'll do that they weigh 0.17 grams.

5,825 × 0.17 = 990 grams

Weight of Rosinante's Feathers = 0.99 kilograms

This (once you add more fabrics to carry the feathers) will be considered a heavyweight feather coat. So it is heavy. Fur is much more heavier. Feathers are light as FUCK. And theirs are full feather coats from both sides, it seems to me. They could have some insulation so myb that adds a kilogram. Otherwise, this. Now, onto Doflamingo.

Doflamingo's Feather Coat

Width of Doffy's Coat

1 + (0.20 × 1) = 1 + 0.20 = 1. 20 m (we're gonna put this one to be 1.60 m wide instead with more flare, so each side not covered by Doffy's body is 80 cm)

Width = 1.60 m

Circumference of Doffy's Coat

1.5 + (0.20 × 1.5) = 1.8 m

Circumference of Doffy's Coat = 1.8 m

Doflamingo's Coat Body

Surface Area of Body = 2.95 × 1.8 × 2 = 10.62 m²

Doflamingo's Sleeves Area

Area of Sleeve = 1.5 × 0.6 = 0.9m²

Both Sleeves = 2 × 0.9 = 1.8 m²

Add that:

Full Area of Doffy's Coat = 10.62 + 1.8 = 12.42 m²

Number of Feathers

12.42/0.002 = 6,210

Weight of Doflamingo's Feathers

Doflamingo has normal flamingo feathers, which weigh 0.1 grams, so his coat is actually LIGHTER than Corazon's even though he has more feathers. Sorta like the weight of the world, eh? Cora carried the weight of being a spy on his shoulders, while Doflamingo has a sorta carefree nature when after becoming a warlord.

6,210 × 0.10 = 621 grams

Weight of Doflamingo's Feathers = 0.62 kg

We have an update on the coats' weight! TURNS OUT, THEY ARE HEAVY!

Thank you to @lixiawinter (+their boyfriend who is physically fighting himself not to start working on Whitebeard's coat... Do it, do it.) for providing this information! We're adding this to the calculations! Thank you both so much! ❤️

Rosinante's Coat Full Weight

2.8kg (suiting wool for the shell) + 4.2kg (satin for the lining, omg this shit is so fancy holy fuck this is so cool I'm geeking out) +1 kg (canvas interlining) + 1kg (oil treatment for fabric being water repellant OMG I HAD NO IDEA THEY USE OIL FOR THAT THAT IS SO FCKN COOL OMG) + (feathers)

= 9.7kg (rough estimate)

Rosinante's Feather Coat Weight = 9.7 kg (~ 9.9kg)

We add the same numbers for Doffy.

Doflamingo's Feather Coat Weight = 9.5 kg (~ 9.62kg)

YESSS! NOW THIS MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE, AND NOW WE CAN PRESUME DOFFY DOES HAVE HIS CRANED NECK + SLOUCH FROM CARRYING THE COAT ALL THE TIME. He's wearing nearly 10 kg on his back!

And... (Panting) Done. Makes you wonder why the fuck Doffy's neck is that forward, then, when his coat isn't that heavy? Honestly, I always thought it was like 5kg weight myself which explains his terrible posture, so actually researching all this has been surprising. He just... He just walks like that. And has that stature. Bcs he... Just has that posture. You have to know, once becoming warlord, Doflamingo is very lax and acts quite carefree. In North Blue, he was full businessman even by posture - very straight-backed. Just compare his entrance on Minion Island to entrance on Punk Hazard. He's frowning on Minion Island, but is smiling in Punk Hazard - malicious as it is. He has the lax posture as a warlord because he's confident and genuine confidence makes you relax. That means shoulders, neck, back, they all slump. Sure, he's ready to attack anytime, his muscles definitely tense when he is ready for attacking. But still.

Oda probably wanted to go full symbolism with Doflamingo being as a flamingo so he gave him that craned forward neck like a flamingo's, and the back posture makes him seem like he is prowling toward you, like a lion. Since all the warlords are animal inspired and have the themes to match with their animal name, it's no wonder Oda chose to show it with Doflamingo's posture - even his legs are LONG as fuck! Doflamingo is all grandeur and is of the most rare bloodline and a flamingo is a very grandeurish bird considered royalty among bird species.

Doflamingo, why is your shirt still off?

Anyway, that's... (Panting) It. Nice calculations. Thank you for the great question, @dummyduck44! ❤️ And thank you to @lixiawinter for more information, providing the numbers of what else is needed for the coat and the weight! Unfortunately, as a scientist, I can only do so much, and much to my chagrin I'm not a badass like you for clothing. I have 0 knowledge about clothing. I could only do so much. As Sanji says "you do what you can do, and I'll do what you can't do" Thank you and your boyfriend for being the Sanji to my Usopp ❤️

Taglist: @fanaticsnail

[demonsword586]

Gehenna pp headcanons! (Just nobles)

(A little warning. This gets explicit. I was trying to make it goofy but I think I might have gone a bit....off. Still I hope you enjoy it. Mind you,I never saw a pp before,only an imaginary one of my friend and they still didn't let me poke it.)

Sitri

- Okay let's start off with the size...just from what I seen of him,I think he's on the bigger side. Definetlly bigger than Satan and his king is still pissed about that from time to time.

- 20-21 cm I think

-Now he is a gentleman. He was raised in hell called Hades. Which means he was probably taught of proper higene. In other words,this man's lower region is as smooth as a baby.

-Smells like tea. He drank so much tea,his piss now smells good and his cum tastes like black tea.

-Now for the shape and color. I think his tip is on a brighter side of pink. It's suprisingly slim and elegant compared to someone like Satan who's penis looks like a meat claymore.

-Anyway good penis on a good man. Refreshing as well if you need a man with flavoured cum.

Zagan

- Hmm....Now for Zagan,I think he's a grower.

-His bulge is pretty small but if we think on how much he exercises,there's no way he isn't training his penis as well.

-Okay hear me out. He has a little workout routine for his pp. He flexes up his muscles and makes it go up and down,probably does a helicopter to warm it up.

-And it actually works! His pp has grown in lenght and girth from his training and now he can make it hard on command.

-He does smell a bit funny though. He works out and while yes,you can hide the scent of sweat on most of your body,this is one part where he can'r mask the scent because it is simply too strong.

-My point? His pp smells...of manliness!

-He tries to take care of his pubes but would prefer to keep a small white bush above the shaft. You can't get him to shave it off tho. The bush stays.

-Also I think most of his cock is the color of his skin except his tip which is just one shade lighter.

-His seed tastes like protein tho.

Paimon

- Tucks it. I can't explain why but he tucks it. This bulge? Those are his balls.

-The actual size of it is around 13 cm. A little small for a devil but still packs a punch.

-He wears very cute underwear. He knows no one will see it but it just feels nice to know he has something cute on. Wears comfier undies when he's home and done for the day.

-Likes to put glitter on it. He just thought it would be a funny little thing if he putted some of that super fine and sticky glitter on the shaft....and now he puts on a little fasion show for the other nobles every once in awhile.

-It's actually good tho. He uses those little brushes and stencils. He once even did it for Leraye who then ran around pantless to show everyone how talented Paimon is at dick decoration.

-Sometimes when he thinks he doesn't smell good,he might put some parfume on it. Don't be suprised when his pp smells like flowers or vanilla.

-Very well groomed. No hair on the balls or around the penis. The only thing that he does have...is a little heart shaped bush slightly above his pp.

-The penis itself is on a little more girthy side and when hard it leans slightly to the right. Pretty pale with a pale pink tip.

Leraye

- flat

- Anyway Leraye I think is also a grower. It may not look impressive flaccid wirh only 12 cm but when it gets HARD..oh boy. It goes from a puppy to a wolf. This thing is easily 21 cm once you wake it up.

- The shape is on a leaner side. Being slender but also long. He does hower go thicker around the base. But only at the base,like a slight knot.

- He once walked in on Zagan when he was warming up his pp with the helicopter move and then very euthusiasticlly asked Zagan to teach him.

-Next time you two were about to have a passionate night he wanted to show you a trick. Wipes it out and then swings his pp around like a disco ball while saying 'Look what I can do!😃' It ended up being a little joke between the two of you.

-Suprisingly doesn't have a headless teddy anywhere near his cock. If you ask him,maybe just our of curiousity,why he doesn't have a teddy there like on his horn he will look at you with dread. That would be just rude of him to dirty the dead body of a plushie by impaling it on his pp. He can't bring himself to go as low as Glasyal.

- He does have a bit of pubic hair. A small, dishaved,blond bush . Very pretty and suits him. Please let him keep it.

-His cock is as milky as him. A very pretty color with a flush tip.

Belial

- Normal. Questionably normal lenght. It's not too big and not too small. Just...normal. maybe falls a cm or two from perfect.

-It's also on a little skinnier side. Nice and thin.

-Still size isn't everything. It's important how he uses it....and unfortunatelly for you,he's good!

-He manages to fill in for the lack of impressivness with his experience.

-He is quite strong so with him you're able to try some more adventurous positions like the bicycle or the ballet dancer.

-Gets easily moist. His precum is very watery so his tip looks like it's always glistening.

-Very well groomed. Almost no hair down there except for a thin strip. Also the carpet maches the drapes,his pubes have red ends.

- He also has 2 frenum piercings. Astaroth recommended him to get them,saying " You will corrupt many mortals with these. "

-The dick itself is pretty pale with a darker shade of pink at the tip.

Astaroth

- OH HOLY MARY

- *cough* Sorry *cough* thighs...

-Anyway! Let's go from the size down....BIG. The snake on his bory isn't the only snake he has.

- 26 cm

- You know how snakes hide their pps in what looks like a slit? Yea Astaroth can do that.

-Normally he keeps it inside of himself,but when he gets shy or horny,it pops out and his pants suddenly look a little heavier. There was a time when Sitri didn't know about his anathomy and just saw him suddenly get a bulge. He asked him if he just shat himself.

- Once out and hard,his cock naturally curves upwards. It's just slightly thicker than a normal one but with how long it is,that may be for the best.

- He has a dydoe piercing on the head of it. He considered going for more but decided not to after how intense it felt. He does always wonder how it would feel like if his piercings got stuck inside of you. How romantic~ Two lovers tied together as one for eternity~ (Thankfully it never happens. He is nice enough to take them off if you don't like the feel of them)

- He likes to keep himself well groomed. I mean very well groomed. He waxes off everything and then puts extra virgin olive oil on top. He also puts some on his shaft from time to time to make it a bit more smooth and squishy.

[mommypieck]

𑄽୧ size kink with inumaki 𔓘 ᰍ

kinktober day 26: so mean and rough!!!

✿ inumaki toge x reader

✿ warnings: reader bullies toge, creep toge, knife usage, knife play, non con to dub con to ???, dark content, p in v, creampie, inumaki uses his cursed speech to get consent so noncon!!!

Inunaki had an eye on you for a little whine. Always lurking behind something just to see your figure. He was star-struck by you. The main reason he fell in love instantly was your beautiful body.

You were bigger than him. He never thought it would turn him so much, but here you were. And it wasn't just your high even though you were good 20 cm taller than him. He also loved the plush of your stomach. Every time, you would wear a tighter dress, he could see the fabric stretch around your belly. And he's not even talking about your boobs.

"Did you follow me again, creep?" you spit into his face, putting both of your hands next to his head. He knows he should feel scared, but he's so turned on right now, he wants to smirk. He wants to laugh that he finally got this close to you.

"What? Can't you speak?" you heard the rumors about the mute kid who spoke only to get other people to do what he wanted, but you never paid attention to it. After all, he's just a creep who wouldn't stop following you everywhere. At this point, you can't even cross the street without him going in the opposite direction.

"Oh, fuck you. I don't have time to deal with people like you-" You freeze when a knife blade is pressed against your stomach. Your eyes go wide, and before you can say anything, he mutters, "Shut up."

Your mouth locks shut, and as much as you try to speak, no words leave your mouth. You look around for help, but the whole corridor is empty except for the two of you. There's only one thing you can do, run to the door. You sprint away from him, trying to get away before he uses his knife on you.

"stop."

Your body freezes at the stop, and you turn away to see him walking right up to you.

"Lay down."

"I gonna have my way with you now." he smiles down at you, caressing your cheek with the knife blade. He doesn't waste any time taking your boobs in your hands. They feel even bigger and firmer in his hands. He thought you were at least a DD cup, but you might be even bigger. A blade pierces through your shirt, ripping it to shreds. You want to scream at him, but it's for no use.

"Come on, I know you like it," he says and hot feelings spread around your whole body. As much as you were disgusted by him, suddenly his touch feels good. And when you look up at him, he's not that ugly you thought he was.

He sits on your stomach, looking at your boobs as if it was the prettiest art in the whole world. He doesn't even know if he should touch such art. It's great that you aren't wearing a bra so that he has easy access, but he wants to take off your bra next time so he can watch them fall and so that he knows how to unclip the bra.

His whole body feels so small compared to yours. He feels like a kitten that sits on your stomach. inumaki can't help but lay down on your body, kissing your neck. He reaches for your mouth so he can slide his tongue inside of it. It's messy and overall disgusting, and you're sure, he's never done this before… but you feel good. It's probably before that spell he cast on you, but you're not complaining.

He finally gets to your panties, examining how he should cut them. It would be such a waste to cut something as precious as this. After some thinking, he pulls them down your legs, smiling hard when he notices your juices coating them.

He wants to eat you out so badly, he thinks to himself. But his cock screams for attention. He spends so much time with his cock in his fist to waste any more time.

He pulls out his cock, and you moan from the size of it. He's a bit bigger than the others, it's true, and he loves the reaction he got from you.

His fingers swipe through your juices, collecting your juices in his hands. He covers his cock in your juices before slamming inside of you without any warning. You yelp, your fingers digging into his back. He's mean, and he doesn't give you any time to adjust to his length.

His thrusts show that he's pretty inexperienced, maybe even a virgin. That's probably true because nobody wants to get close to him, let alone fuck him. But god, he feels so fucking good. You can't believe you got so wet just for him, even though it's probably him who did something to your body that made you this wet. he abuses your pussy in the best way imaginable, fucking his cock through your hole so godly.

Louder moans espace your mouth when he finally hits your sweet spot. He chuckles, knowing that he finally found it. He focuses on your g spot, hips stuttering right into it. You want to show him how to use his big cock to make you feel even better, but right now, this is enough for you. Slowly but surely, he's bringing you to your orgasm.

You can feel that he's close too. He can't focus on anything else other than your pussy, his cock getting lost inside of you. His hips are unorganized and messy, but it's more than enough to make you cum. Your whole vision goes white as you cum around his cock, shaking under his body.

The unbelievable tightness of your cunt brings him right over the edge too, and he cums inside of you, much to your scream. Finally, now you realize what you let him do. he watches as his cum spills out of your pussy with a satisfied smirk.

"You're the worst," you tell him, still lying on the ground while he dresses.

"I might be, but you can't help but cum just from seeing me," he says, your whole body tensing again as you cum. You can't believe what just happened, how is he able to do that?

"I'm gonna forgive you for your attitude. after all, you love me."

he doesn't seem so bad after all.

taglist: @mcharris747 @huuuuut30 @krispsprite @bejewelledd @cawwn @veryninjanacho @jamayah @dngerwayz @nwptune @universlypiratecolor @ffakegucci @merachannie @d1lf-luvr @th3girln3xtdoor @nobody289x @iheartpieck @gia999 @kawasgirl @st4rrlighttt @candyeyeroll @7haze @banchangsbbbg @nigthmar3moon @softlilpeachxx @d1gitalbathh @jaenniii @raeeesblog @satorustar @balenciagarette @erp1007

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman Showdown Round 4/Quarterfinal

Kikunojo (One Piece) vs Brienne of Tarth (A Song Of Ice and Fire)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Kikunojo

She is a samurai and a retainer for the Kozuki Family, serving as one of the Nine Red Scabbards, a group of samurai that protect the Kozuki family and their country. She's a very skillful samurai, and she and her group managed to delay and hold off the main villain of the arc, (which was an almost insurmountable task for even the main character) and survived the experience despite her horrible injuries; She's canonically and openly trans! And she's gorgeous. And huge... She's 287 cm tall, which for the USAmericans in the audience is 9' 5". She's simply the coolest.

She’s a samurai and fights with a sword; tall trans woman <3

Legendary devoted samurai!; She's 2.87m tall, a time traveler, and not even losing an arm in the middle of the fight stopped her- she had it imediately cauterized and went back to the fight.

She's a lady samurai! Pretty and very skillful with her katana!

She is a samurai who was sent 20 years into the future to avenge the death of her lord; She’s so tall and canonically trans and I love her

She’s a badass samurai who fights for what she believes in and to help people. She is known as Kiku of lingering snow. She’s also canonically trans

She's a time traveling trans samurai, the only woman in a group of 9 legendary samurais; Her arm was chopped off by the biggest baddie so far and she continued fighting, isn't that badass?

One of the strongest samurai in her country; She's a trans icon

#kiku the greatest of all time#🐐#tall and gorgeous samurai lady#who is a trans icon#love that she is so tall that she doesn't fit in the image display#gets recognized as strong by the main character multiple times and proves it by being the most resilient badass of the entire arc#stands up to tyrants and abusers of class privilege#also helps break said main character out of the enemies prison and takes part in a rebellion against the corrupt prison staff#one piece#okiku#kiku

#kiku is canonically trans

Brienne

gets gifted a sword made with the rarest metal ever because she’s THAT good; she’s simply the best

Brienne is one of the top sword users alive in her day. She's descended from a man who's catchphrase was "I'm better with a sword." Better than what? You. Jaime Lannister. Loras Tyrell. Any five given guys at once. She has a fantastic sword that might be magic or cursed and is named Oathkeeper because that's what she does; I love her

Beat like 20 guys in a tournament when she was 19. Was given a magic sword. Won a sword fight against the premier swordsman in the realm. Very swordly; Very tall and strong. Holds her sword in high esteem. Accomplished with other weapons as well!

She's defeated multiple of the top knights in the series in duels. One such knight gifts her the fabergé egg of swords and she uses it to defend orphans and stuff. Got out of a bad betrothal by dueling him and beating his ass so bad she broke multiple bones. Honestly there's so much more she is the swordswoman of all time. to me; She's buff and ugly and 6' 5" and so honorable and kind that she inspires the guy who fucks his sister to yknow. stop doing that. literally gets mauled for the sake of protecting a bunch of orphans (with her sword). also she's 20 she should be at the club ‼️

One of the best sword wielders in Westeros, the author says he would pick her to defend him. Has a cool sword called Oathkeeper. Manages to go up against 7 fighters and take out most of them,. The only true knight; First off, talking about book brienne, they massacred show brienne, the show runners simply didn’t understand what she’s about.“ She had no chance against seven, she knew. No chance, and no choice” brienne had plenty of choice but she couldn’t leave people to die. The chivalric paradigm is rotten and corrupted, but here is Brienne, the one true knight, who isn’t even a actual knight! “knights are for killing”, but here is a knight who risks her life again and again to protect innocents! Bri IS hope, she is the light in the dark that shows that things can be better, things must be better. Fundamentally an idealist: “Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it's always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining”

[owlobservation]

Itoshi Sae Profile from Egoist Bible Vol.2 (2024)

"Only the idiots who can keep up will get to see what comes next."

Team: Japan U-20 National Team

Position: Offensive Midfielder (OMF)

Weapons: World class kicking accuracy, world class technique, world class tactical vision, and world class physical ability.

Birthdate: October 10th.

Age: 18 (Third year high school)

Zodiac sign: Libra.

Birthplace: Kanagawa Prefecture (Kamakura City)

Family structure: Father, mother, himself, younger brother.

Height: 180 cm.

Foot size: 26.5 cm.

Blood type: A.

Previous team before he returned to Japan: Re Ale Youth FC.

Dominant foot: Left.

Favorite Soccer Player: Álvaro Recoba. "The left-footed player who creates a rainbow on the pitch."*

Age started playing soccer: 1 years old. "Before I knew it, I was already playing soccer."

Nickname: Treasure of Japan.

Strengths: Being able to see things objectively. "I'm often told that I'm a dry person but who cares."

Weaknesses: I don't know anything except about soccer. "Don't live like this, you guys."

Favorite food: Salted kombucha. "Because I can return back to zero."**

Disliked food: French fries. "It's so delicious that I could die, but it's also so unhealthy that I could die."

Best rice accompaniment: Salted kelp. "They don't have it in Spain so I got it sent from my parents' home."

Hobby: Analyzing data of soccer players and teams. "It's nice to see things visualized as numbers."

Favorite season: The end of summer. "I feel like the whole world has become lonely."

Favorite show: Chibi Maruko-chan. "It reminds me of my parents' home."

Favorite music: Suisei by Tofubeats feat. Seira Kariya. "I listen it to cool down."

Favorite movie: Taxi Driver. "This De Niro guy is the coolest."

Favorite manga: Gegege no Kitaro.

Character color: Azuki Red.

Favorite animal: Seagull. "I like migratory birds that don't stay in one place."

Favorite brands: All the brands that sponsor me. "They have good eyes for betting on me."

Best subjects: No idea because I didn't really pay attention in class and only focused on soccer. "I've never seen my report card."

Fetish: Butt. "You can tell an athlete's ability by the shape of their butt."

What makes you happy: A play beyond my imagination.

What makes you sad: Being forced to carry the weight of Japanese soccer on my shoulders. "Yes, I'm talking about you guys."

The first time someone confessed to you: I don't even remember which one was the first time, dumbass.

Last year's valentine day chocolates: Around 2.000. "My manager told me."

Sleep time: 8 hours. (7 hours+1 hour nap)

Where do you wash first in the bath?: Bangs' hairline.

Mushroom or Bamboo shoots?: Depending on the mood.

What made you cry recently?: Why would I tell you, idiot.

At what age did you stop receiving presents from Santa?: 10 years old.***

What did you ask for a Christmas present from Santa?: My undiscovered talent.

What would you do on your last day on earth?: Give the world's best striker the world's best pass.

What would you do if you received 100 million yen?: I'm not interested. It's just a small change.

What do you do on your days off?: Gazing at the sea.

What would you be doing if you hadn’t discovered soccer?: Living a normal, happy life. Maybe my personality wouldn't have turned out like this.

Who is your favorite historical figure?: Copernicus. He was the man who overturned the world’s common knowledge.

If you could only bring one thing to a deserted island, what would it be?: No need. I’d live the way I wanted without any rules.

Where would you go if you had a time machine, to the past or the future?: Not interested in either. I have no pointless expectations or regrets for my future or my past. Just live in the moment. You guys are so tepid. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

World-class Offensive Midfielder With Boundless Parameters

Aiming to become the best midfielder in the world, Sae is a super player with the complete package of mind, technique, and physique. Isagi’s best play which he pulled off with “reflex” was stopped with just a light tackle. He killed The Direct Shot flawlessly, showing the big difference between the two.****

He’s Only Interested In Blue Lock! The One He Chose Was Shidou?

Sae was only interested in Blue Lock and paid no attention to his younger brother Rin or the U-20 Japan National Team. The world he sees and the place he aims for are clearly different from those of the U-20 National Team. Sae chose Shidou from Blue Lock as his teammate. With a series of super plays, they managed to corner Blue Lock.

The reason for Sae's sudden change... What on earth happened in Spain!?

Sae went to Spain and promised his younger brother Rin that he’d become “The Best Striker In The World”. However, when he returned home four years later, his attitude had changed completely . He declared that he would become “The Best Midfielder In The World” instead and pushed Rin away, calling him "tepid".*****

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sae's Ranking on "Best 3 of Everything: Players seriously voted each!"

1. Ranked #1 The Best at Crossing (Centering)

Hiori’s commentary: "Well, all of Itoshi Sae’s kicks are perfectly designed. I admire him."

2. Ranked #2 The Most Likely To Succeed As Coach

3. Ranked #1 Who Doesn't Cry Easily

Aryu’s commentary: "If Itoshi Sae were to cry, it would be when he became the world’s best. That would be the moment of ultimate styl."******

4. Ranked #1 The Least Family-oriented person

Isagi’s commentary: "If you look at those two, you would assume so. But if they really hate each other… It means that they also think about each other."

5. Ranked #2 The Most Likely To Thrive In The Sengoku Period

6. Ranked #2 The Most Leader-like (or has the qualities of a leader)

7. Ranked #3 Longest Eyelashes

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

*Álvaro Recoba (El Chino) is a midfielder from Uruguay known for his "rainbow-like" curved kicks.

**Return back to zero=being refreshed.

***In early 2021 twitter Q&A, he said he stopped getting Christmas presents when Rin stopped believing in Santa. His answer is revised in Egoist Bible to just "10 years old."

****The original sentence is “...a super player who possesses everything– mind, technique and physique (心技体)”. 心技体 or Shingitai refers to the three qualities an athlete must have: 心 is heart/mind, 技 is technique/skill, 体 is body/physique/strength. It is said that an athlete needs 3 of them to succeed. If they only have the right mind and skills but not the body to support them… well you’ll know what will happen!  So from our understanding Shingitai is an ‘inseparable set’. We translated it as a “complete package” to let you know that those 3 qualities are inseparable!

*****Here the word used is 突き放す (tsukihanasu). Tsukihanasu is 'to push away', to push someone (or something) away and make them leave. It can also refer to an attitude of  treating someone without love, sympathy, or emotions. Please check my notes on Rin’s profile page, because there is a connection!

******What Aryu originally said isファ イナリーオシャ final osha. "The moment where Itoshi Sae finally cried would be the moment of ultimate/final styl.” is most likely what he meant! We personally think ‘ultimate styl’ had more feel than ‘final styl’ (?), that’s why we went with ultimate osha!

Check Sae's profile from the first volume of Egoist Bible here!

[omkookie]

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE D ⚠️

After seeing the D on Twitter I've decided to rank my most favorite D's because... I'm sleep deprived but trying to fall asleep

Fyi these are my nonsense rambles which I'll probably regret writing when I wake up and read them later

1st - Beelzebub....

Uuuurrghhhhhh I wanna kiss it

It's literally perfect 😳

I will suck it

I will kiss it

I will hold it

I will worship it

It's one cm less than my dildo apparently? 🤨 I guess he'll just become my new dildo.

He's better than that piece of silicone anyway 😌

If there's 8 of him then I'll be the biggest cum slut because all I want is this fine as hell cock and his cum, yummy

8 on 1 me Beelzebub 🥵

2nd - Mammon

it's so veiny 😳

it's also massive

Holding it will cure my mental exhaustion. I just love it so much. I will hold it with both of hands respectfully, and even prep it with little kisses while I sit on my knees before it because it deserves to be worshipped

My eyes are bigger than my coochie... unfortunately... so even if I want all of him i'll probably only get half of him 💔

It's so pretty man I love it so much. I wanna squeeze it with my fingers and watch it twitch as I hold it. I also want it sitting between my thighs while I lie in bed and do literally nothing but stare at it 😌

3rd - Satan

It's so cute and flushed. Literally a cute lil mushroom head. I love it so much, I will cherish it and hold it and pet it and kiss it and embarrass Satan

if he lies down in bed next to me my hand will be on his lovely cock all night, just holding my treasure yk 🩷

He'll be in my mouth the most.

4th - Leviathan

Ew, Pathetic, ugly, disgraceful, lacks girth, looks lame, is lame, cry about it bitch (would suck out of spite)

Leviathan hang yourself and your cock

(#1 Leviathan hater here, teehee 😌)

Usually I hate him but I'm so tired rn

I wouldn't mind getting railed by him, I'd like to choke him while he fucks me anyway. I'll squeeze his abs, cup a little feel here and there, ngl that Selfie card has me feeling some type of way

Hate sex seems nice this morning? Idk It's 3am 😒

Aside from that, fuck his arrogant lil bitch ass. He's getting the strap

Goodnight

Edit: my favorite D

https://x.com/WHBFAN/status/1755615932037378478?s=20