#no one even cares about qurantine anymore

[enderon]

This may sound like a weird post, but I'm rewatching Quarantine and something I've always loved about that movie is the relationship between Angela and Scott. I couldn't tell you what exactly they've got going on, but it's so soft. Starting the movie with a shot of him fixing her hair, that scene where she says he can kick the ass of the firefighter being gross about her, the parallel scenes where they both are freaking out after something horrifically the other softly calms them down? I dunno, it is not at all an important part of the movie, but they have always made me feel a certain way.

[ainti-pretty]

anyway... angsty boys... in the quarantine land era...

tw: questionable eating habits, shitty mental health, (implied) self harm

ships: mentioned lambert/aiden

-so the boys are in quarantine right? geralt has left his room only to use the bathroom and get more pringles, eskels bored as hell, and lamberts spent most of the time sitting on the couch or facetiming aiden

-but you already knew that. in the last edition we went over the highlights of the Morhen household, but now, get ready for projection angst

-geralts been in his room for days (except to use the bathroom and get food, but thats at very late times, so no one sees him), and hes just. straight up not having a good time. he hasnt showered in days, and his room is a disaster. hes just been lying in his room in the dark, and vesemirs worried.

-eskels been worried about geralt, but he hasnt really felt anything but boredom since quarantine started, and hes not entirely sure if he has feelings anymore. hes just detacted from everything and is making more and more impulsive decisions. (making a catapult, purposely getting lambert and geralt into fights), he wants to feel something and vesemir knows this, but everytime he tries to stop eskel, he does something even worse. vesemirs not sure how much longer he cant stop eskel from actually hurting someone.

-lamberts. not doing great. theres a reason he spends most of the time on the couch where vesemir can see him, and its not so hes social. hes angry and explosive and misses aiden, and is always 30 seconds from hitting someone. vesemir knows that raised voices trigger him, but lamberts been pushing it and vesemir has nearly lost his temper multiple times.

-vesemirs patience is hanging on a string. hes worried about all his boys, and hes worried about the pandemic, and hes worried that somethings going to happen while hes not there and its all going to go to shit

-and to shit it all goes.

-one day, vesemirs at the store or smtg, bc. food. and hes managed to convince geralt to leave his room for at least a little while. when he leaves, the boys are on the couch. he hopes it all goes well.

-surprise! it doesnt

-eskel tries to start a conversation with geralt, bc he wants to talk to someone who isnt vesemir or lambert, and it goes something like this:

-”hey geralt, hows jaskier”

-“...”

-”oh. well uh. you should ask vesemir for a new flavor, you must be tired of sour cream and onion.”

- “fuck off.”

-and its just that over and over, and lamberts sitting on the back of the couch with his feet on the pillows, and hes getting annoyed bc he wants to ft aiden, but hes not allowed to be in his room alone for extended periods of time when vesemirs not there, so hes just. sitting there. 

-then, lamberts like. kicking his feet bc. annoying younger sibling vibes. and he accidently knocks a pillow over onto geralt, who looks like he was recently dragged through hell.

- “what the fuck lambert”

- cue lambert saying something bitchy in response. 

- “fuck off lambert.”

-“is that all you can say nowadays? fuck off?”

- “oh shut up lambert, and just go to your room.”  from geralt, who missed the argument between lambert and vesemir about why hes not allowed to go into his room.

- “i cant. vesemir will have my fucking ass if i do.”

- “since when have you cared about what vesemir says? youre being annoying, now go.” 

-the situation just goes downhill from there. none of them have been sleeping, and none of them are in a decent mental state (though they really didnt have that before qurantine)

- it ends with geralt slapping lambert and lambert (obviously) doesnt react well to this, and runs to hide in his room

-geralt immediately regrets it and tries to apologize, and turns to eskel, whos just been sitting there on his phone, completely zoned out, for help

-eskels like wtf. lets call vesemir. of course by the time they get ahold of vesemir, hes literally walking in. vesemir is Not Happy when he hears what happened, and goes straight to lamberts room so he can talk to him

-it doesnt work, but vesemir realizes lamberts talking to someone (he assumes is aiden) and is immediately relieved bc at least lamberts not actively hurting himself, and decides he’ll talk to him later

-but theres also the matter of geralt, who has once again, hid himself in his room.

-vesemir knocks on his door, and when he gets no response, he knocks harder. geralt keeps ignoring him, and vesemir loses his patience and yells at him to come out of his room.

-when geralt doesnt open the door, vesemir gets a wire hanger and picks the lock. 

-geralt doesnt even respond, hes just putting things into a bag

-vesemir tries to talk to him, but when he once again gets no response, he (carefully) puts a hand on geralts shoulder

-geralt doesnt look up at him but he at least stops packing

-vesemir sighs and tries to talk to him again, but he knows geralts not going to listen

-he gives geralt a hug but geralt just. sits there. 

-thats all i have rn tbh, sorry ydnksbiwsd enjoy the cliffhanger <3

[lookingforann]

Life Update // Happy List

It has been a while since I posted something personal like an update or something that is directly happening to my life right now. It has been three months since the lockdown; well our province are experiencing General Community Qurantine now—I can somehow go outside but I cannot totally say that I’m going to choose it, because as we know, every thing is not the same anymore since this pandemic has begun. My heart is really aching every time that I’m hearing something from the news. And aside from that, we cannot deny the different current issues we have in this country, and they make every thing even worse, including my anxiety. Nevertheless, I’m being grateful to God for my family has been healthy up until this moment.

Well, my life is in a real chaos right now. You know silent battles are real, especially this time. Cuts, bruises and hurt are deep. And I feel like I’m in wilderness, going nowhere, waiting for a rescue. I have a lot to say about these things but I’m also thankful that I’m enduring and surviving as days go by, even though it became my goal every single day—to survive, I mean. And honestly speaking, this post is also intended to make me think of the (happy) things which are happening to me, and I believe they will be good to my mental state. So what you will read below are them. Here it goes:

New born kittens. So as you can see above, Spray, which is my siamese cat happened to give birth to four kittens—three of them are exactly look like her, and one is black. They are cute and entertaining.

People whom I rely on, especially this season. Though I’ve been aloofing myself lately, I really appreciate those people who are checking upon me, though sometimes, they I choose not to reply to them. Still, they try to understand me.

Overnight. Sometimes I go outside even though it’s making me more anxious as well, I couldn’t help but needing it to avoid overthinking. But don’t get me wrong, I’m just going to other house with my closest friends (to my pastor’s apartment to be specific). And it happened that last time, I got a chance to overnight. We stayed on the rooftop during sunset and middle night, and fortunately, the moon was bright and the stars were shining and allowed us to see them.

Deep talks. Of course, during the time that we stayed on the rooftop, we grabbed the opportunity to have little chichats which was I need.

Binge-watching series. Well most of them are anime, and some are Korean drama. This quarantine made me go back in watching anime and I certainly love it. I have time to read manga and books as well.

Shaman King Reboot. You don’t have any idea how it got us (including my sister of course) excited! After rebooting the Hunter X Hunter, and Fruits Baskets—here comes the Shaman King. It’s a good thing that they thought of rebooting them because late 90’s anime or manga are really something. If you haven’t seen it you may check it here.

Seeing old people from my dashboard. This blog has always been part of me. Though I am not active just like before, I never left. And it’s good to see that some people I knew before are somehow having comeback posts here. It makes me reminisce the good old times.

So far, those were the things I could include in my list. I hope you guys are doing well, and choosing to take care of yourself. God bless you.

[hatsheep]

[VENT]

I just feel so alone right now. Its not because of qurantine or whatever-

I was having a pretty big panic attack and I contacted my bestfriend, I explained the ENTIRE situation

And she literally just replied with "y" to my first line which is "I'm having a really bad day" and ignoring the rest-which is ME EXPLAINING WHY

I dont even tell her any problems anymore because I feel insecure about them. Not to mention I also just dont tell anybody my problems because I dont wamt to burden them further or they just dont care. One of my other friends blatantly telling me I'm not a good person when I was joking about it. Also because I'm trying to help my other friend to the best of my abilities. Whenever I talk to a friend from school I kinda feel out of place- to the point I'm closer with my ONLINE FRIENDS.

I just wanted a little more care you know?