#no one else is making videos like this so if I don’t do it there’ll be nothing

[ilovelovewithallmyheart]

Your clan of jujutsu sorcerors weren’t in the top three, but they weren’t far behind. They were in the top four.

In prestigious jujutsu clans, the matter of carrying the bloodline was of great importance. Your older sister, powerful, beautiful and amazingly kind was constantly getting marriage proposals left and right.

It was the night of a great banquet celebrating your older sisters 30th birthday. She was already running 40 minutes late…

Suddenly the lights dimmed and the projector started lowering itself out of nowhere. A video flashed into life-

“Hey guys. You must be wondering where I am right now. As you are watching this, I will be on a one way trip to America.”

Your older sister sat in front of the camera, confessional youtube video style.

Loud gasps resounded across the hall. You felt your stomach churn, the dinner you had earlier threatening to make a reappearance. 

“Don’t bother looking for me.”

She crossed her arms. “I decided to leave for the better. After all, It was hard on me and my wife to live so far apart from eachother.”

An outrage spread all around you. “What is the meaning of this?” Your father roared.

You had no idea when your sister got married. But go her.

“To my younger sister…goodbye and good luck.”

The video dimmed, leaving the dinner hall in darkness and utter chaos.

Good luck? What could she mean by that-

It suddenly dawned on you. 

Without your older sister, you were now the first candidate for marriage.

**

“You are seriously strange if you think for one moment that I’ll agree to marry Zenin Naoya. He literally handed me a terms and conditions folder of everything I can and can’t do if we get married!” Arguing with your father felt like arguing with a brick wall. 

“He is in line to be the next head of-“ A knock on the door stopped your father from another one of his rants. You sighed in relief. “Don’t allow in any late comers. Meeting time ended two minutes ago.” Your father ordered.

For the past six, that’s right, six hours of the day, you and your father met with suitors who were asking you for your hand in marriage. 

The guard at the door looked increasingly nauseous. “Sir-“

The door suddenly blasted open, splinters of wood flying everywhere. Your father ducked and you felt existensial dread. You knew who was behind that door.

“My dear, sorry I’m late.” Casually stepping around the carnage as if it was nothing, Gojo Satoru sauntered in with all his 6’3 might. 

You felt a migraine coming in.

Ever since the first year of highschool, Gojo Satoru had been hopelessly besotted with you. He’s asked for your hand in marriage four different times. With four. Different. Rings.

“What is this Gojo.” You stared blankly at the ROCK sitting on a thick band of gold. You and Gojo just finished up a mission together, and, covered in a curse’s guts, he dropped to one knee and brought out a ring. “You declined the last three times so I figured you wanted a bigger diamond.”

That same man was now standing around your ruined meeting room with a sheepish smile on his face. “I-I actually didn’t get you a ring this time.” He had the audacity to look shy. “I hope you forgive me…”

“You don’t need to get me a diamond abomination to propose. I’ll reject you, ring or no ring.” You replied with a lethal smile. “Why are you here Satoru.” You wanted this man out. 

“Why else would I be here? I’m asking if I can be your husband.” His face wasn’t playful anymore. He was dead serious.

You were about to reject him for the fifth time, but then your eyes landed on Naoya’s thick terms and conditions booklet, then you remembered the multitude of old, decaying men that were basically salivating while looking at you, and sighed.

“Fine.”

“YES. There’ll be donkeys and-“

“We’re having a small wedding ceremony.”

He frowned. Obviously, he had planned out the entire wedding ceremony out meticulously, donkeys and all.

“We can work on it.” 

[augustjustice]

Living Dead Boy

rating: T | wc: 1.3k | cw: angst, fixation on death, survivor's guilt, ambiguous ending | tags: meta, prose poem, 2nd person, horror movie allusions, steve pov, steddie (technically)

AO3 Link

Notes: Sometimes, I think about how Steve was supposed to die in Season 1. ...A lot.

You are a character in a horror movie. 

In fact, you’re a very specific character in a horror movie. 

At best, you're eye candy, like Johnny Depp and his crop top in that movie you saw later, about nightmares and the guy with the blades on the end of his fingertips. A Nightmare on…something. Maple Street, is what it would be, if this was your life. 

(You sure as shit hope that’s not a thing, the part about dying in your dreams. You’ve had far too many nasty ones, since everything that happened, to get trapped inside them forever.) 

But, at worst, you’re…well.

You’re Asshole Boyfriend #1. You know, the preppy guy. The popular guy. The guy who’s a little bit dumb and a lot too douchey, who drinks too much and parties too hard and sleeps around. 

The point is, you’re the wrong guy.

Certainly the wrong guy for the flinty eyed girl who makes it all the way to the final credits, the one with her backbone of steel. She’s a little virginal. And smart, way too smart for you. Intrepid and daring, she’s gonna hack her way to the end, maybe swan off into the arms of Sensitive-Eyed Nerd Boyfriend #2, because, let’s face it. He’s always deserved her more than you have, anyway. 

That is, she will, at least…if she isn’t the only one to make it out of the story alive.

The point is…the point is, your fate has already been foretold. Cacked off somewhere towards the end of the second act, hoisted by your own petard. If this were another movie, the more salacious ones they play down at the drive-in two towns over from Hawkins, maybe you would have kicked it caught in the act, the little death becoming the big one as you offer the Final Girl the ultimate betrayal. 

Your horror movie’s a little classier than that, but that doesn’t mean you won’t meet the same fate. Not after what you and your friends do to our heroine, spewing bile at her in big-spray painted letters for everybody to see. 

You fucked it. There’ll be no coming back, not after that. You’ll die, and all that will be left is a visceral satisfaction on the audience’s part to see you go.

Because, let’s face it…you had it coming, didn’t you? 

It’s been said before. Not etched out in stone but typed out in ink. There’s no changing it. 

Your story’s already been written long ago.

—

But then, at the end of the story, you…don’t die.

You were supposed to, you think. You’re pretty sure, at least.

That’s how these things go. Right?

At least, that’s what you picked up on, during the late night horror marathons you can’t stop putting on after for their grim familiarity. A taste that follows you all the way to your job at Family Video, when your best friend and you watch them with dead-eyed fascination. 

It’s been prophesied, or whatever the hell the kids would say. Foreshadowed by all the shitty meathead boyfriends who came before you, your story sealed in their blood. 

Except…you don’t.

You don’t die. 

—

It's like you've been given this life–this second chance that you were never even supposed to have–and, the truth is, now you don't know what to do with it.

So, in the aftermath, you loiter and drift, lost without a real, clear sense of purpose.

At first, you and Nancy–beautiful Nancy, the girl who always makes it out alive, who was always meant to–dance around each other, because…well, because what else are you supposed to do? You’re Nancy Wheeler's boyfriend. That's who you're supposed to be. 

If you're not that, then.. what even are you?

—

That’s a great fucking question, one fate doesn’t seem content to let go without giving you a pop quiz. After all, you’ve seen this one before…Asshole Boyfriend #1 or Sensitive-Eyed Nerd #2. Who will she choose?

…Was it ever even really a question? 

—

So, you aren’t Nancy Wheeler’s boyfriend, and you’re not dead either. 

But, you know what you are great at?

Being cannon fodder. 

And, okay, so…maybe, if someone looked at it too closely, they might accuse you of having a death wish of some sort. 

But…that's not exactly right, is it? It can’t be. Because why shouldn't you be the human shield? You were supposed to be dead already, and you know it, so…it just makes sense. 

What other point is there to you?

—

The horrors keep coming back…they never really die, right? Always gotta show up for the sequel. 

And you keep stepping in front of them, because, like you already said…not much else you can do. Each and every time, you think this is it, you’ve reached the end of the line. Fate’s finally gonna catch up with you, take back what it meant to at the start. 

But somehow, against all odds…you keep coming out alive. No matter how many hits you take, how bloodied and battered you end the night. You’re still standing. 

—

The series has made it all the way to Upside Down Horrors Part 4. And, okay, so maybe you think about it every round, but this one…

You’re pretty sure you were supposed to die. For real this time.

But he died in your place. Splayed out, bloody, in your shared pseudo-little brother's arms. 

There’s no way it wasn’t meant to be you. 

Because, you and Eddie Munson, you’ve got nothing in common, right? Fallen King of Hawkins High and the King of the Freaks, what could you possibly? 

Except for all the things you do. 

He’s the mentor and reluctant babysitter of the party. The guy the kids look up to with stars in their eyes. 

Just like you are. 

He ran, that first time around, when the shit hit too close to home. 

Just like you did. 

A girl died in his house, and the guilt gnaws away at him, keeps him locked in a chokehold. 

Just. Like. You.

He’s even goofy and dramatic, makes his protests of your friends’ reckless plans known with the same loud chorus of No, no, no as you do. 

Hell, the parallels are so obvious, you were jealous of him, before. Afraid he was taking your place. You’d barely managed to carve out a spot in the narrative for yourself–you sure as shit didn’t need extra competition.

Now, you’re just glad to have somebody else on your side, for once. 

And there’s no way he doesn’t make it out of this one alive, right? I mean, Revenge of the Nerds, that’s all the rage. Guys like you get cut off at the knees, pay for your sins with humiliation or death while the audience cheers, vindicated at long last. 

But geeky loner outsiders? They come out on top. 

It’s poetic justice, or some shit. Robin would know.

So, that’s how you know it. That the narrative has slipped the tracks yet again. 

Because the one time you weren’t playing human shield, Munson gets the short end of the stick in your place?

It isn’t right. It isn’t fair. 

The universe is just fucking with you, at this point, you’re sure of it. Eddie was never meant for this.

It was supposed to be you. 

—

You can’t even call yourself surprised, when the boy who died in your place claws his way out of his grave like a creature in an old black-and-white monster movie, craving blood and covered in ichor.

And the truth is…it’s so easy, from there. You’ve been waiting so long for this moment, and you didn’t even know it until now.

So, when his wings wrap around your shoulders, you fall into Death’s loving embrace like an old friend. 

After all…you were supposed to be dead for years now.

[kelogsloops]

putting this in the tumblr ask box bc idk where else to put it 🕺 does anyone even read these still

anyways i just woke up but i had a dream and you were a big part of it- i don’t want to say it was a nightmare or like a bad dream but like basically in the dream you announced that you would be quitting art and like retiring ig? it was for a few reasons but in that moment idk i just realized just how much you have had an influence on my life- you know that saying “you don’t know what you have until you lose it”? yeah…

honestly at first when i woke up i was so ready to call it a nightmare, like “oh my god?? you?? leaving?? forever?? noooo!” but as i’m sitting here awake now i realize eventually it’s probably gonna happen- maybe not in the way it was in my dream with you making a whole like announcement video and wiping your accs, but maybe quieter. i wonder if it’ll be that you stop making art, but i find that hard to imagine. i think it would happen slowly, less and less posts as the years go on. in my head even if you stop posting it, i’d think you’re still creating, making art for simply the sake of such. but then i think about how silly that thought is though, i don’t know you outside of your social media bubble. i don’t know your life and what happens there so to even assume something so quiet is pretentious of me. 

like i said, at first i thought it was a nightmare, i can’t bear the thought of you leaving one day- especially for the reasons you gave in my dream it was like “i gave up, arts getting too much for me, and things are so competitive now no one wants my art anymore…” blah blah blah. it was all my own stress as an artist manifesting onto you i think- but anyways i hope that should the day ever come where you do end up leaving your socials and whatnot, i can only hope that it’s out of your own accord and you do so because you want to, not out of pressure or anything like that. like i’m not saying i want you to quit or anything, but what i’m saying is if it happens i just hope it’s something that you chose on your own. i just don’t think i could ever stand that happening though without letting you know how much of an impact you’ve had on my life. 

i found your art when at a very developmental part of my life, so your work wether consciously or not i think has just become like a part of my brain wether conscious or not haha. whenever i go to draw even if i don’t explicitly go to look to your work for inspiration, it’s still there i can see it. it’s like just unconsciously ingrained at this point. but more than that though the whole idea of like “brb chasing dreams” and whatever and the whole idea that i feel you impart every time you share pieces of your journey as an artist to just keep going, i kind of stole that mantra for myself and started to tell myself that as well. even at my lowests, i’m still trying to follow that dream, even lost and i don’t know what direction i’m going in there’ll always be that dream as an anchor almost.

thank you for all that you’ve shared and thank you for being the biggest inspiration in my life. i know that’s quite dramatic to say, but i mean it in full honesty. whatever the future holds for you, i hope it’s kind. i hope you live a long life chasing all your dreams where at the end of the day, you’re happy. thank you. 

waking up to find a message like this in my inbox has me feeling t e a r y. it's reading stories like these and hearing how my work has impacted people that makes this all feel so surreal sometimes. the fact that people would even care if i stopped making art one day or just disappeared is crazy... i'm very fortunate!

i've resigned myself to the fact that sure, one day (but hopefully never) i won't be able to pursue a professional career as an artist anymore, but if there's one thing that i can promise, it's that there is no reality in where i stop making art!

i don't know if i show it enough, but to each and every one of you who have been part of my journey so far, thank you from the bottom of my heart. it's messages like these that pinch me and remind me how it's all so worth it

forever #brbchasingdreams

[thelyingjoke]

what's something new you noticed on your rewatch of v3?

ah this is an interesting one!!! also a little difficult, since my memories on things like this tend to blend together quite quickly, so i’ve had to think a lot about how to answer (which is why this took so long, along with typing it all up, sorry for that!). i probably don’t have everything, but luckily i did take some screenshots while watching! so there’s some bits i definitely know that i noticed!!!

i was really focused on exactly how kokichi’s character develops because i did Know generally beforehand but i didn’t have a full clear progression in my head—and well it’s kokichi so there’s not really ever gonna be 100% full clear progression for him but i think i see it a lot more now!

like how he’s a lot more open to cooperation in chapter 1—he loudly supported going through the tunnel the first times, and was the one to suggest the daily dining hall meetings!

he’s much more open about his intentions in early chapters (there’ll be more examples of this later, but here’s one for ch1! himiko quickly brushes it off as a lie but it really doesn’t feel like one)

and he’s the one that’s the most insistent on monokuma being dead and the killing game being over. he REALLY doesn’t want anyone to get the idea of starting it up. and then there’s the shock when monokuma does show up (he quickly brushes it off with “at least it’s not boring” but you KNOW he’s screaming on the inside)

actually, i’m just noticing this now, he seems to have a strange amount of optimism towards the idea that everything will just work out in ch1—he doesn’t even investigate because he thinks everything will be completely solved through the pictures, and to do so would be pointless, which he later expresses regret for. it’s overshadowed for most people, i think, because of the tunnel scene and his later behavior, but honestly the fact that he even tried it without skepticism in the first place, along with his insistence about monokuma being dead and thinking that rantaro’s case will solve itself… wow he is showing Quite a bit of belief here without reason! hmmmmmm!!

i’d say he probably compensates for that for investigating even outside of cases in ch2, and being more skeptical of things. when everyone tries to ignore the killing game, kokichi brings it up (he’s tried to ignore it before. it didn’t work). kaede’s death also had him believe that cooperation would be punished—she was the one encouraging it, after all, and look at what happened to her—upping his paranoia, and the fact that he still believed there’s a mastermind didn’t help matters! now he has to be careful not only about working with anyone out of fear he’ll be punished in some way, but also about who he works with, destroying any good chances of working safely with the group as a whole!! yippee!!! that’s probably even more frustrating for him considering his talent is literally being a leader of a group

“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not saying we shouldn’t care about killing or dying… But I think it’d be better if we didn’t cooperate with each other… Actually, we *definitely* shouldn’t cooperate with each other!” […] “Think back to all of Monokuma’s actions so far. Whenever we tried to work together, Monokuma would retaliate with a plan to make us suffer. It happened when Kaede wanted us to cooperate, and again with these motive videos, right? Which means, the more we try to cooperate, the more he’ll try to make us suffer. That’s why I had no choice but to screw with you guys. But you ingrates didn’t even notice.”

THIS BIT GETS ME SO MUCH like Honestly he couldn’t be clearer with his intentions here. he denies an assumption he doesn’t care about death; he states his beliefs; he clearly outlines why he believes this with examples; even directly says Yes he screwed with them for a reason they just didn’t notice and tells them Why! (although he still has to insult everyone of course. he’s an ass who thinks he’s better than everyone else [affectionate]) but it goes ignored, and the reasoning is really interesting. shuichi’s thoughts are:

It’s *because* we’re trying to cooperate that Monokuma is making us suffer…? But what about… everything we went through..? What was the point of Kaede sacrificing herself…?

it’s been like 2 months since i was on ch2 so i don’t remember Exactly but i’m pretty sure nobody brings it up after this. it’s so interesting to me, i don’t have the brainpower to put my thoughts together more eloquently but i’m rotating it in my head. (i remember you bringing it up in the tags of the kaede/kokichi parallels post actually!!! mixed in with that bit about kokichi suggesting a family member of rantaro being the mastermind. i misremembered this the exact same way too until i went back to check i could’ve SWORN shuichi brought up the promise to kaede then but he didn’t💔iirc he actually considers the possibility? which was interesting but then it was never brought up again. Anyway back to the post)

rantaro also says something similar to kaede in ch1:

”You have what it takes to win…” ”What…?” “I was just thinking, what you said back there would have pissed off whoever’s running this. They definitely don’t want us holding hands, workin’ together… …They’re going to come for you, Kaede. With everything they’ve got. I’m a little worried about you. You’re just so…straightforward.”

and kaede just goes “geez that guy could stand to be a little less cryptic!” IT’S A REALLY INTERESTING PARALLEL TO ME and the fact that both him and kokichi describe “winning” the game 2nd survivor kokichi real

oh and also something i’ve been thinking about! i think kokichi had the mastermind plan forming in his head relatively early, but he didn’t actually want to do it at all, and didn’t start going “okay, i have to do this now” until about ch4. it’s more of a plan B, “if nothing else works, at least i have this”. but the issue is that in order for that to work, he has to keep it in mind until he knows whether he has to use it or not, which puts another barrier between him and working together with everyone else. even if other plans would be better if he could gain everyone’s trust, he has to keep the option available, so he can only gain people’s trust indirectly. he’s more actively looking for other ways to do this earlier on though, particularly in ch2. he expresses distaste about how people treat him early on (this bit immediately reminded me of the 4th trial where he’s like “bullying? yeah, what about it? that’s what you do in this game, right? you guys blame and gang up on me, but now you pretend to be good people?” and i was like Woa!!! his frustration in that scene does not come out of nowhere!!!)

it’s also the reason he frames the motive video watch party the way he does. if he says outright he’s trying to prevent more murders, and people don’t watch the videos, a later mastermind plan wouldn’t work! BUT, if he can get everyone to watch them, then his motive video plan works and people would know he doesn’t mean harm because they would see his video, better convincing them than he could do so himself! best case scenario there are no murders and people will see he’s being serious when he says he’s trying to help them. of course, watch party ends up not happening in the end, and also he’s lost quite a bit of trust from his closest ally (which could have also been prevented had he not been so paranoid since gonta DID agree to get everyone to watch the motive videos), so he’s getting closer to that mastermind plan.

another thing in ch2 is kokichi losing much influence in the group. this isn’t just because of the insect meet & greet! from the beginning people are wary around him, but he’s actually able to steer conversations in his favor at times, and if you look closely you can see his leader talent popping up. when he speaks up against kaede, the majority agree with him; the majority agree with him when he insists that the killing game is cancelled; again, when new flashback lights are presented, he expresses concern and everyone agrees not to use them. except kaito. and shuichi, i guess, but he doesn’t even get to answer before kaito cuts him off. people question kaito, he gives a speech to convince everyone to try them, and though it doesn’t work on kokichi, it sure works on everyone else!

they’ve clashed before, but now kaito is the one making things sway his way. this happens in the trial, too. kaito says he believes in maki without any reasoning, kokichi calls him an idiot, and everyone starts to agree. but things end up going in kaito’s favor. almost everyone else thinks he’s an idiot, but then tenko and shuichi switch around to his “side” of wanting to believe in maki despite all seemingly logical reasoning. most people still don’t agree with kaito before maki admits to seeing ryoma, but those two do, and kokichi is so baffled by shuichi believing in this (i feel like this could be worded better but i can’t think of anything right now, hopefully you get the idea though!)

the mastermind plan grows ever closer with ch3 and more being added to the courtyard message. it’s still not something he’d like to do. i’m unsure of the exact timeline, but i believe ch3 is around the time he asks miu for the inventions (possibly even earlier for the bugvac)? he wouldn’t be able to do it with her around, and he wouldn’t want to kill her just to keep to the plan. he’s probably trying to find the best moment to present the stuff to everyone so they can fight monokuma, and waiting for miu to make enough of them so that they can, considering there’s only enough electrohammers for the remaining people by ch5. but the guy’s in a tough situation, because on one hand he wants people to trust him so they can work together but on the other he needs them to distrust him in case plan B becomes necessary. he needs to be careful so that monokuma doesn’t notice him cooperating, because he also wants to keep being his favorite (i love it when he goes “riiiiiiight, monokuma? aren’t i so evil and twisted haha don’t you love me i am so entertaining if i died it would make the viewers mad haha right” he’s trying so hard). he doesn’t know who the actual mastermind is. people are already rightfully distrustful of him. but he still wants them to know his actual intentions, if they’re willing to. it doesn’t seem like it’s too late yet. (he is so wonderfully contradictory and human, i love him. paranoid asshole who wants to be Known but the idea is also terrifying and dangerous and he ends up sabotaging any opportunity for that to happen) so, he presents a piece of information he hopes will make people trust him: maki’s talent.

ok, well, that sounds like a lot of guessing stuff that’s not really in the game. i suppose. but i do have a reason!!! these lines stood out to me as i was watching:

he doesn’t even follow up with “that might be a lie” or anything. he really does want to work together with everyone, it’s just that finding a good opportunity to show it safely is Difficult and people don’t believe him. and he is really set on the idea that trusting people too much is a bad thing. there’s a few reasons why he only chose to reveal her talent now instead of before, when apparently “given his position” he’s known since the beginning: kaito’s blind faith in maki prompting him to show that actually, she Isn’t trustworthy! the believing thing is stupid and false, see? hopefully getting more people on kokichi’s side rather than kaito’s side. he tries again later to get people on his side, accusing kaito of trying to turn everyone against each other by defending maki and dragging her places

everyone mostly ignores him though and moves onto the flashback lights. as this and the next chapter go on he continuously tries to provoke maki, probably to get her to snap and show people she really Is just a killer or something, although she doesn’t budge until later. this was probably me reading too much into it but all of that did really stand out to me

well all the Good Plans fall apart with ch4. they could’ve all worked together using miu’s inventions but then The Case happened kokichi has a chapter-long mental breakdown ough it makes me so sad to think about. i mean after all that there wasn’t much coming back from it, the mastermind plan was likely the best thing he had. the “everyone hates me so the role of villain is perfect for me” always made me sad but especially This time after looking for everything else. dude…negative character development…..so good but also making me cry! me when i have good intentions but my own distrust and paranoia becomes my downfall as i start to have no one to turn to. me when the same person’s death that led the main character to become more open and outgoing towards others led me to become closed off and solitary despite both our earlier attitudes!!

he also succeeds in provoking maki in the end. i don’t have any particular comment for this i just took the screenshot i can’t remember what my thoughts were on it

i don’t have any other screenshots to do with this so that’ll be the end of that i guess!!! not super eloquently worded i’m just kinda throwing ideas out there, i can elaborate on any points that might not have been super well-explained if you want !

oh and for more silly stuff:

i like this maki line, it’s after shuichi says “about the size of a girl”. there’s one later (in ch4, i think) where i don’t remember what the first part was but she says “not to sound like tenko, but you men can really be like that”. these are 2 very throwaway lines but they almost make me think she was supposed to be the new feminist after tenko’s death (just without the weird stereotyping and much less extreme). she should’ve been. especially given kaito’s casual misogyny at times this would’ve been cool! unfortunately we didn’t get that :(

oh and

shuichi is a yo-kai watch fan, kokichi is a pokémon fan. this is a source of conflict between them and it is unknown if they can overcome this

okay i made this WAY longer than i should’ve. i’m sure there may have been more things but they’re slipping my mind. hopefully this is sufficient!

[seakicker]

Miss Seakicker HI! 🦦 anon here, I just wanted to pop in and ask a question but before that;

How have you been? I’m loving the new theme and layout for your blog! I hope you’re drinking enough water and taking enough breaks. We can’t have Fertility archon Juju getting sick!

I started playing Tears of The Kingdom and there’s a place called Joju-u-u Shrine in the game (we almost had Juju Shrine!) I went bra shopping earlier (nothing spicy, just needed some new ones).

I’m not really sure how else to ask this but do you have any advice for when the insecurities about one’s body image start to get…loud? Like some days I’ll feel good in a pair of pants because i fill them out really well but then there’ll be bad days like the time i spent 2 hours on an online site buying a kazuha cosplay because I didn’t want to admit i was a size bigger. (I bought the bigger size in the end and that one fits like a glove)

Feel free to answer this whenever you like! - 🦦 anon

HELLOOOOOOO SWEETHEART GAH i’m very late in answering this because i’m just tryin to find the motivation to use tumblr consistently again, but i was thinking about this ask again today bc i’ve had it in drafts since you sent it to me. i’ve been working a ton but i’m alright; drinking water and working on eating healthier for myself 😊❤️ what kinds of things do you think we’d do at a juju shrine… 🤔👀

as far as the insecurity part goes, honestly i’ve found that staying off the internet entirely on days where you’re maybe feeling a little worse about yourself is extremely beneficial. with how prevalent bodychecking and diet culture BS are on tiktok and instagram in particular and with how advanced filters and photoshop have gotten (remember when people considered it impossible to use filters/edits on videos? good times), taking a bit of a detox and staving off of doomscrolling rlly go a long way on days where i may not be feeling the best about myself. like, i’ve seen people recommend eating an entire block of cream cheese under the guise of health because keto influencers love spinning nonsense and trying to make you genuinely believe that an entire brick of cream cheese is inherently better for you than a single piece of bread for toast, lol.

at any rate, i think it’s good to remind yourself that you are real and your body is real and not everything you see online is real— most people are able to (rightfully) internalize that they shouldn’t compare their bodies to digital art or anime characters, and i think that mentally should extend to just about any 3D picture you see online— while i’m not inherently anti-photoshop or anything like that, i DO think it’s harmful for these people who participate in photoshopping their pics or using filters to pass it off as (A) all natural genetics and/or (B) simple diet and exercise because no amount of genetics, diet, or exercise are gonna give you a 13 inch waist and 42 inch hips. even pictures of real life people can be twisted to the point where they might as well be fictitious, but your body is real when you look at it and real in anything and everything you wear, so why worry about how it stacks up compared to a picture that’s certainly edited?

i first read this on pinterest in like high school but it’s honestly sound advice and something that’s really stuck with me— we don’t get mad at our feet for being too small/too big/too wide/too narrow when shoes don’t fit, we just buy a different size— shouldn’t the same idea extend to all our clothes? our bodies aren’t made to fit clothes, clothes are made to fit our bodies— and buying a bigger cosplay to fit you better isn’t a fault of yours nor your body’s. you got this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

Yeah it sounds like part of what I said is the root of the problem then - how can you forgive him if you don't think he understands the pain enough for his apologies to really count to you. I think forgiveness is hard work and sometimes has to be a choice because people will never fully grasp the experiences of someone else. I also think as long as you still have that video, you still don't forgive him. I'm not saying delete it now. I'm just saying you'll most likely only ever be able to delete it when youve truly let it go. Like, that would be an indication of that. Is there a way you can come to peace with him never being able to fully grasp the pain he caused you? You gotta let it go somehow.

This is so…. Profound. Because you’re right. The thought of deleting it makes my skin crawl. My initial gut reaction to the idea of doing so when I read it from you is something in between “well how will I have proof of what I went through for myself?” (oh trauma related to being gaslit by other men for years… <3 I only did these videos in the first place so I could tell what was real and not have rose colored glasses on toxic situations) And “then he’ll get away with it and there’ll be nothing else to say” and that’s. Ahem. Unhealthy as fuck. And not fair to him or me.

And the 2 people who know about it - my therapist from back then and one friend - have both said delete it and I’ve said no and no one’s ever dug deeper than that. I don’t know what the answer is but everything you said gives me a lot of clarity

[talkingattumble]

yeah ik someone who’s constantly like “I find it SO WEIRD that people identify as CATS and have CATSELF pronouns” and I have to make it clear every time that I literally do not give a shit. Like good for them why the fuck do you bring this up around me every time. Is it because I’m the only non binary person you know and you want my validation on your weirdly obsessive opinions about gender expression. One of these days I’m gonna adopt a strange pronouns set just to spite her.

That said, here’s some shit I see a lot. There’ll be a post trying to make fun of or fear monger about weird identities. And then I’ll see trans and non binary people opposing the post by saying things like “nobody actual does this, it’s all made up by conservatives” or “well they’re just a few embarrassing people we’re not all like that” bitch if you don’t support the catselfs and the batgenders and the people who are extra flamboyant or like to wear cat ears or define their gender identity and expression around their special interest. Then you don’t support trans/non binary people! You have become the exclusionist and bully of your own community!

I love anyone with “weird pronouns” or “weird gender” or “weird gay clothes” because they’re so bold. To be so widely bullied and hated on by not only the bigots and the “allies”, but by their own community too. To be filmed in public and have their videos or posts screen shotted and spread around Reddit and Twitter and TikTok to be made fun of by hundreds of people. To have their pronouns become the topic of any online conversation, all of their comments having replies saying “lmao what’s in your bio do you think you’re a (insert whatever object)”. To be shunned by family members and not invited places by friends because they refuse to hide their “weirdness” to make others comfortable. To go through all that and still stay confident on their gender and gender expression and defend it? That takes balls of steel. Good for them! And even if they’re not confident. Even if they’re only comfortable doing this online, in private spaces, with only certain people. It’s still super brave to see hate and fear mongering and bullying all over the internet and to not give in to it. To still say “I like and identify with this thing, even if so many others hate it.” To say “I know who I am and what I like and I won’t let hate and negativity sway my opinions.” That’s still remarkably more confident and brave than the people who spread hate about you.

And finally, fuck you exclusionist shitheads who try to police gender and gender expression within your own community. And fuck you trolls who pretend to have neopronouns just to mess with people in the community and gather hate for them. And fuck you to the people who saw someone finally happy with their identity and said “I’m uncomfortable with this, and I would be more comfortable seeing you suffer so that nobody else can make me uncomfortable in this way”.

u can become fully immune to a lot of scaremongering transphobic headlines simply by being chill about otherkin stuff. 'what's next? children identifying as CATS and DOGS??' why not! i hope they have a lovely time doing it.

[askaceattorney]

(Previous Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Probably a typo on Mod Franziska’s part.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: I half expect you to bust the Eminem song Without Me. It’s a horror game, but I enjoyed The Witch’s House.

Co-Mod: I’ve never been a fan of horror in general, but there have been a few exceptions.  Oddly enough, I wasn’t too fond of The Witch’s House, but there was another horror game made with RPG Maker that I found to be pretty enjoyable: Ib.  Which, as it turns out, was given an HD remake last year!

...Which, like many games, I still need to play.  😏

I can appreciate a game like that because it has a spooky/mysterious atmosphere that doesn’t go too heavy on the “freak the player out” factor.  Of course, I haven’t seen the new stuff in the HD remake, so I can’t say for sure if that’s still the case, but there’s a special place in my heart for the original game.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: 

Oh my gosh, I only made that reference ONE time and it was used as a joke. I never made any indication that Phoenix would be like Dr. Cox if you read the tag RIGHT HERE. 

The only thing I did was ask if Phoenix would make a great Dr. Cox. That doesn’t mean I believe it. It only means I’m not sure. 

I only knew of that line from a video clip I watched on YouTube. When I saw this question, I thought it’d be funny if Phoenix said it. As far as I know, the context when Phoenix said that line and when Dr. Cox said that line are completely different. I don’t even think both were said that with the same facial expressions outside of sarcasm. I don’t know how you took me asking everyone if they thought Phoenix would make a good Dr. Cox to mean that I believed he would. I guess when you ask someone if they have a dog, that means you believe they have a dog and not just ask a simple question out of curiosity. 

Dear Charicla,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: They kinda do, don’t they?

Co-Mod: Spooky.

Dear Dawsongfg,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: A former pastor of mine served in the Navy, my step-grandpa was in the army and my biological grandpa was in the Medical Unite.

Co-Mod: Not personally, but I’ve met a few who served in the U.S. military.  I can’t imagine ever involving myself in armed combat outside of a video game, so I can’t help but admire the sort of courage they must have, to say the least.

(Referenced Letter)

Dear Dawsongfg,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: There are followers here that are dealing with this and others that write letters here as an outlet to escape from the very things irl that contemplate thoughts of this. Try to be aware that not everyone writes letters here to mess around. Some use it as an outlet or escape from stressful shit that happens irl. 

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but be aware that people are dealing with this. In fact, I was answering letters from someone dealing with something similar and it was affecting how they were writing their letters. They’re better now, but that was the reason why it took me so long before I blacklisted the Hotti letters. I was using them as a scapegoat to distract everyone from going after someone else who had been going through a tough time irl, who was writing weird letters at the time.

Dear The-Carrotella,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Thank you.

Co-Mod: It’s compliments like that motivate us to keep doing a good job, so thanks!  (That’s true for me, at least.)

Dear Ladynoir,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: No, because if there’s anything we’ve learned for the past decade, it’s that nothing is ever truly discontinued. I mean, we’re having sequels to movies that were made decades ago! So, the rules remain and if AA claims to discontinue, it will still remain.

Co-Mod: My instincts tell me there’ll be more Ace Attorney down the road, too.  As for that sibling reveal, I could maybe be talked into writing a fanfiction about it...

Actually, no I couldn’t, because I’m still working on a dozen other things, but that might be a possibility somewhere down the road as well.  😉

Dear Charicla,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Don’t worry about it. We know when your mental health is low and if this is the reason for sending unhinged letters as you’d call them. You’re not even the one I was talking about when mentioning using the Hotti letters as a scapegoat. I did notice a few cringy letters from your end, but the person I was talking about did much worse and had been going on for much longer. If you didn’t notice, that’s good. 

Don’t feel bad if you ever write venting letters. We’re not offended or annoyed by them. Perhaps concerned, but that’s only because we’ve been depressed and hurt before. 

Dear Skibot99,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: We lost a couple of hundreds of subscribers since the Mod Maya and Mod Vera incident. So, with the subscribers also went the normal amount of letters we’d get.

Co-Mod: Yep.  The upside of that is that your letters will get answered somewhat sooner than before.  It’s an interesting paradox, isn’t it?

Dear Anonymous,

Chief Mod Edgeworth: Thank you.

Co-Mod: Thanks!  It’s not exactly the same blog it used to be with the original Mods heading off to parts unknown, but I’m glad to see it still going strong, too.  That’s true about a lot of things for me, in fact -- Ace Attorney, Nintendo series, Sonic the Hedgehog games, (some) sequels to classic movies, and so on.  They’re not the same, but they’re still great for the same reasons the originals were.  I’m glad it worked out that way here, too.

- The Mods

[loulicate-recs]

Hello sweet Hanis! I’m so sorry for the delay, but I’m finally back!! I hope you didn’t miss me too much and had a nice December 19th. In a similar fashion, I’m wishing you the best for December 20th. And wow, I didn’t realize we were so close to the end, already! I’ve been working on your gift, and I must say it’s a little bit stressful. I hope it will bring you happiness anyways. I should definitely try to hurry up if I want it to be done on time… And for now, it’s not entirely to my taste so I have a lot to work on!

I’m still sick but a lot better. I probably had a fever last night cause my forehead felt super warm, but I felt incredibly cold. I’m glad I woke up today without feeling like my hands would fall off with how cold I was! Honestly can’t wait to have two functioning nostrils dklsdql and speaking about going to the cinema, I was supposed to go see a movie tonight, but I feel too tired to do so. Having a cold sucks! But no, I usually don’t eat food at the cinema. It has happened I’ve bought popcorn, but it really doesn’t happen often because I thin it’s too expensive for what it usually is. And the feeling of having popcorn stuck in your teeth is the absolute worst, too, idk how I managed to forget it every time. What about you? Homemade snacks like the housewife you are or victim of capitalism? Fond of popcorn? I don’t know how shameful it is to admit, but I’ve actually never seen legally Blond dkjsqhd. When I was 10, I bought the books at a flea market but ended up never reading them because the covers were ugly in my opinion. I know that’s the pettiest reason ever but ten years old me was something else! It’s funny you mentioned HP, as one of my siblings is watching HP at the moment. I think he’s watching the 6th one, though. My favourite one is probably the 3rd one and least favourite one the 4th. Once again, it’s not linked to the quality of the movie but more to the fact that the sibling aforementioned would watch the Goblet of fire every day at some point. Kinda traumatized me. Plus, the only girl sucks at being a witch and the movie makes it seem like the girls of her school are only good at being pretty.

My uni is about 45 minutes away door to door–I have a 10/15 minute walk to the station then a 25 minute ride with the tube and another 5 minute walk to get to uni. Compared to most people in my area, that’s very reasonable. Around here, I think the average time is 45 minutes to an hour so anything around that is considered normal. I’d also say that despite a lot of people complaining about the deficiencies of the public transportations, it works quite well–I’m once again only speaking about my area, as experiences vary from suburbs to suburbs. I think there are enough underground trains too that I usually don’t have to worry about missing one. I just go to the station and if I miss one by a minute then there’ll be another one. I’m always early anyways kdslkqdlsm I think taking the tube is not quite the same as taking a plane! I am 4548646456% more stressed for a long journey than I am when I take the tube. Where have you flown to before?

I can’t believe I’ve given you another clue. At the same time, I thought you already KNEW English wasn’t my first language as I’ve mentioned l live in Europe and in Europe, very few countries have English as their official language (besides the UK and Ireland, I mean). And I also felt like I already had implied I didn’t live there when we discussed the English countryside. BUT anyways I feel like I’m speaking too much and shouldn’t remind you everything I’ve said. And I’ve listened to a video to learn how to speal easy malay and can only say nama saya secret santa <3 saya dari a secret country <3

That’s interesting! Are you planning to get married, someday? I think I’m quite lucky because I don’t feel pressure to marry–not that I don’t want to, I’m just not quite set on that. And it’s not entirely linked to the question before but to you, what’s the ultimate proof of love? And I can definitely relate! I’m always scared I’ll accidentally like one of your posts.

I do celebrate Christmas, though it’s pretty lowkey and entirely unreligious. We exchange gifts, have a nice but not too long meal, and then we’re done before midnight dskqdjsq it’s nice, though as I don’t really like huge gatherings. Too many people makes it a little bit too impersonal for me. Do you? If not, what do you celebrate and if so, what’s your favourite thing about Christmas?

You’re such an older daughter! Trying to live up to expectations and all that jazz. And when I say I sing in the car, it’s just not me putting up a show it’s more like, everyone’s singing together to tunes we listen to as a family dslkdjsq I wouldn’t have the confidence to try and belt otherwise lol. I’m sure you sing really well!!

Maybe I’ll hate US promo a little less for the mere fact it brings you happiness dskdjs I usually don’t love it because it’s very… US like? I don’t know, it’s probably more of a feeling than a real thing. AND I KNOW!!! He’s just there, his face facing the crowd, and hands stroke and pet him gently :( he’s not even fazed! You mentioned how comfy he makes us feel but I feel like it is also true the other way around and that’s super cute :( I’m so deeply sorry you couldn’t see him. I was in a similar predicament for my own show and it took me a while to get used to the idea. Fingers crossed for FITF tour! I have a ticket for the show so I really hope everything goes according to plan for you and me both.

You want me to reveal myself by asking me my star sign, don’t you? I’m not giving it to you but to make it better, I’m gonna tell you I’m a daughter to a cancer father and a taurus mum. I don’t know what you can do with this info, but it’s out. By the way, do you get along with your parents? If it is an uncomfy matter to you, please feel free not to answer!

Sending you kisses and love <3<3<3<3 I still hope it won’t get you sick. It was once again a pleasure reading you :) love you babe and take care! xx

hello hello my santa ♡ hope you had an easier day compared to the previous! i have missed you! forgiving you with a sorry from me for being a day late. i was actually planning to write you back yesterday but then i was so caught up in finishing the gift for my santa baby too and eventually fell asleep while working on it :( i am both blushing and feeling guilty for basically being the reason to your stressful situation, i appreciate how you are trying your hardest and best to gift me when you didn’t even have to! talking to you have felt rewarding to me, you made my days more meaningful for the past few weeks and i cannot ever thank you enough for that. not to be sentimental but with you i feel… listened ♡ regardless of feeling guilty, i am stilll eager to find out what you’re giving me, i KNOW that i will love it and definitely will store it in my core memory!

i am partially happy that you’re feeling better but not entirely recovered! do you have any special coping mechanism to ease your painful state when you’re under the weather? i personally have to eat something spicy just to feel something when i get sick. speaking about nostrils, are you having a flu too? my nostrils get blocked almost every night, i haven’t been able to completely get rid of sinus since my preteen years :/ by the way, how long will it snow there, where you live? and do you often get sick during the cold december? oh no, what movie were you supposed to be seeing :o i completely agree with you about the popcorn part, honestly the first time i went to see a movie at the cinema i found that popcorns during movie was an overrated concept, but sometimes i still bought them because my friends always insisted us to. but most of the times i’d sneak in pretzels or chips from my favourite vendors outside of the cinema. more affordable and fits to my taste. and certainly never a homemade snack for cinema sdfgfj i’m not louis enough for that </3 just like how you were shamed to admit you’ve never watched legally blonde, i am also shameful to admit that i didn’t know it had a book. i think it’s safe to tell you that hp 4 is also my least favourite, it just feels less magical compared to the rest. and let’s not talk about harry’s characterisation being watered down :|

hearing about your routine is fascinating although i don’t how to feel about the 45 minutes journey to class everyday :o and you mentioning that you’re always early… wow. i complain for the stupid 7 minutes walk to my faculty/ or on some days i’d carpool with my friends, if my lecturers cancel the class last minute after i’m already in the class sdgfhd and i even stay in the campus. you are really a dedicate student! how long are your lectures daily on average? i’ve flown to the neighbouring countries before for holidays, have yet to escape asia </3 what about you?

shdjdf i know, i wasn’t meant to say that english is your first language as in you don’t speak another language beside it like the british! because there are some malay friends of mine who have been using full english from the day they were born and only use the malay language when it is necessary. and they claim that english is their first language! that’s what i meant to ask, if you’re one of those people, sorry that it was unclear </3 now I am speaking too much. waa that’s cute! and when you say that again but the ‘secret santa’ and ‘secret country’ are replaced with the actual names >:) i wonder what you first language is, i’ve reached duolingo’s level 3 in french before and maybe that’s the most i’ve learned in one of the many third languages i’ve attempted to learn before lmfao. anyway 3 more days and maybe i’ll find out if it’s french or something else that you speak :3

oh tbh we are the same! i don’t find marriage is something that should be my priority, not now and i don’t think that’s gonna change in the future too, but who knows :) when i talk about possible partner i always envision the idea of me being in a non serious relationship where me and the other person just do, discover and learn new stuff together as we grow. i’ve always liked the idea! though it might also has something to do with me living in a place where i’d be expected to marry only the men if i ever wanted to. and newsflash hanis prefers something else mwah <3 btw, i find your question is kinda hard to answer since i’ve never been in a situation where i love someone too hard (louis look away for awhile) or i am loved romantically. but i think time is quite the mastermind of everything, so i get pretty fond when i see old couples showing their affection towards each other. like imagine all the things you’ve gone though together, physical changed, too many ups and downs and you’re still tied together like the first day you confessed your love to each other?! like what more could you ask in order to believe that you are absolutely loved by your lover? sdgdh am i answering your question by the way?

enlighten me, as i don’t know much about the deeper meaning of christmas apart from what’s been shown in the media and public presentations, is christmas a religious celebration for some? i know this is stupid but i used to think that christmas is to celebrate the arrival of the snow, and it’s probably why christmas is not that big here because we don’t have snow… k1ll 10 year old me. i understand you! well as obvious as it is i don’t celebrate christmas, but i do celebrate the eid. and i guess any celebration can’t escape the huge gatherings :/ i’d sometimes lock myself in the room for awhile if the hosting tired me out. by the way despite not celebrating christmas, i do have a lot of things that i like about it, and one of them is the films <3 because all of them have snow scenes and i just love it sgdhdh, i need to roll on the snow someday. what’s your favourite part about christmas, if there’s not many people in your house?

that sounds like a lot of fun, singing together as a family! mine just be putting on our own headphones because we all have different taste in music.

it IS very US like but i think he does more fun things there? don’t get me wrong it will never be enough to me, he needs better better promo i need him to play more games on the real talk shows and not just singing and more youtube segments. but to me a lot of things he does during UK promo is quite UK fans-centered? i mean it’s great he does all that to get closer to the fans but still! tho i’m not complaining about the content we got from his fitf love performance and the album signings <3 as someone who is neither from the US not the UK i’ll take what i can get! yes, he never fails to mention how thankful he is for the fans, he never forgets! it’s like a mantra coming out out from his mouth to call the fans incredible eeee he’s too cute :( “thank you for letting me make the kind of music that i want to make” well thank YOU for making the kind of music that i want you to do and that i want to hear??? one day i’ll eat him i promise. omg you got a ticket? for the europe date i assume? you will meet him you will nothing’s coming in your way i am praying on both of my knees! so happy for you ♡

yah actually :3 but i failed dang! a taurus and a cancer, sounds like a perfect pair! would you say your parents share the same personality or more like a pair of opposite attract? i have a good relationship with my parents but i don’t think we are that affectionate compared to some families. they forgot my birthday this year but since we’re not always that big on birthdays it didn’t affect me that much. i personally get more validation from my dad, and not too often if not never from mum. she is quite strict with us, sometimes i feel like i have a mid mommy issue lol. but thank god my parents actually do co-exist, what i don’t get from my mum i’ll seek from my dad especially when it comes to compliments over something i achieved. but she can be generous on some days! do you get along with both of your parents?

keeping the kisses and hugs deep in my heart! and sending you back, doubled ♡ i saw in your other ask that you’ve been thinking about the reveal day, just want you to know i’m truly excited to find out who you are, whether we’ve talked before this whole secret santa thing or not. are we even mutuals? if yes, how close we were and if not, how could it possible to feel so comfortable talking to you? you don’t have to answer, they’re just my personal monologues. 3 more days! perhaps just 1-2 more letter exchange(s) between us and we’ll meet soon ♡ have a perfect day, love you!

[the-moth-from-elsewhere]

Alright, let’s do this. I’m stealing soup’s format lol

Duskie!

Favorite people:

He’s so funny and sweet and I’d give up the skies for him, eheh…his dedication is admirable. As is everything else about him.

I…I hope she’s alright, these days. I hope she still thinks of me as her sister.

He’s a nice kid, even if he’s…not technically a kid, and not always that nice. I’m still going to make him that cake I promised him. He deserves it.

She’s very kind and an incredible fighter, but she really needs to take care of herself more…I’m always happy to help her out, though!

I don’t know how to feel about her. I mean, she literally cannibalized my corpse. But she’s kinder than she lets on.

Least favorite:

I still check my tea for contaminants because of her. I’m glad she’s gone.

That awful conductor- I don’t usually wish harm on others, but I hope he gets run over by one of his own trains.

…i don’t like thinking about him or that party, thank you very much. It…makes me feel sick inside.

Yelena!

Favorite people:

I feel safe around him. Like I belong here. He- he loves me. I’m still not sure why, but it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I just wish he would’ve told me how he felt about Alice before everything with that house happened…

I couldn’t ask for a better brother. Sure he’s a bit…eccentric, but I don’t mind it. I still wonder why he keeps me around, though.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I know you deserve better than this I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I still want to be your friend I still care about you I’m so, so sorry.

I hope they’re all okay. I…I wish I could see them again. I want to go back, but I’m always afraid that if I do, there’ll be nothing left.

My best friend. I wish I could tell him how much I still care for him. He never hurt me, never betrayed my trust…I hope he finds someone to love him like that.

I hope he’s doing better, he seemed like a decent person. He’s the only good thing about that house.

Least favorite:

I still have nightmares about it. I can’t sleep. It needs to burn.

I hate him. I hate him so, so much. I don’t know why I stayed with him so long. I don’t know why I still believe some of what he told me.

ᴵ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ

I’m not sure what her problem is, but I already don’t like her. If she hurts Aleks…

Elysia!

Favorite people:

….um…um….he…uh- I- I just- I just think he’s- cool! And um…he makes the world less cold, um…I wanna actually dance with him someday, like in a big fancy ballroom…ah, sorry for rambling!

e-even if he scares me a bit, he’s still my brother! And I still love him!!

I still have those wind chimes he gave me…w-we met the same fate, I just hope it’s treating him better…

She had no choice. It’s not her fault that we’re here.

least favorite:

If only I’d tried harder, maybe I could’ve been enough for them…

ˢʰᵉ ˢᶜᵃʳᵉˢ ᵐᵉ.

Aoki!

Favorites:

…Aoki had a loading error and crashed when asked to talk about Dunite.

She might as well be my sister, by now. I aspire to be as heroic as her.

My cousin was going to be an artist, someday. She definitely had the talent for it. I miss her…

She had every good intention, and the worst luck imaginable. We were close friends, but…we dragged each other down, made the darkness worse every time we talked about it.

Least favorites:

He was foolish and arrogant, and his actions were abominable. He deserves every day he’s spent in that dungeon and many, many more.

I’m just glad that witch is gone.

I’m not sure if she just liked watching me suffer, or what. No matter the reason, I will never forget the innocent people that she had me destroy.

Lovebug!

Favorites:

I love him I love him I LOVE HIM SO SO SO SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- I just wanna play video games and hang out with him FOREVER!!!

He’s silly! And fun! And super duper cool!!! HECK YEAH!!!

least favorites:

I know I’m too loud, I know I’m annoying, I know…

Dunno how I feel about how she runs things. I dunno her too well.

I hate her. She’s so loud and obnoxious and thinks she’s the cutest thing ever even if nobody actually likes her. She needs to shut up.

I hate her!! She never leaves her room and cries too much and is so QUIET and BORING!! No wonder she’s so miserable!!

Charles!

Favorites:

I’m so, so happy that she’s alright. She means the world to me, even if I know that…can’t be fully reciprocated. It’s…it’s okay. I’m glad that she’s happy with him.

Weird guy, but seems pretty alright I guess. I’d say he wears way too much red, but that’d be hypocritical.

He deserves better outta life…he kinda reminds me of my sister, sometimes.

Any friend of Lena’s is a friend of mine, I guess. Even if he sure isn’t just her friend. I trust her judgement.

She was definitely the girly one of the family, heh. Just wish she took care of ‘erself better and left the property more often.

…Sometimes I feel like I’m the reason we lost ‘im.

least favorites:

Never met the guy myself, but from what Lena told me, I’d punch him into next week on sight.

Weird shadow guy…great, more violence, just what I needed in my life.

i’m going out and doing things today, soooo…you get your daily question early! As usual, all credits to autumn for the idea ^^

DAILY(?) QUESTION 3, ELECTRIC BEEGALEE:

Have your oc describe their favorite person/people! Optionally, have them also describe their least favorite people.

[goosewriting]

... may I be a pain in your butt and ask for... A Reader who is Asexual with the ROTTMNT guys? Platonic or romantic. If platonic, the guys bug Y/N about not finding a S/O but Y/N can't feel anything for anyone like that and is discouraged, but hides it.

If romantic, they've established they love each other and they're partners, but Y/N just has difficulties wanting(or wanting but not wanting) intimacies. Cuddling is great, spooning is fine, but really intimate stuff is difficult, like certain kinds of kisses. Sex is something that Y/N doesn't care for. And Y/N may not have told the boys about being Asexual.

Yours hopefully,

A lonely Asexual.

Ace of spades (rottmnt x reader)

summary: reader is a closeted asexual and is confronted with some questions/situations

relationship: Rise Leo (romantic, established), Donnie (romantic-ish), Raph (platonic), Mikey (platonic) x GN reader (all separate)

warnings: mentions of sex as a concept (non-descriptive of the action), reader being emotionally distressed, coming out

word count: 2.5k

A/N: first of all, none of you guys are ever a pain in my butt<3 and hey, as a fellow ace, i understand. so i really hope i made it justice, and was able to convey what the ace experience is like (in general terms, since it isn’t the same for everyone). you’re not alone úvù<3 since you didn’t mention if you wanted angst+comfort or something else, i did a little bit of everything, hope that’s okay!

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

sefore we get into it, a clarification about what being asexual means, and what it doens’t mean: asexuality is about attraction, not the action. ssexual folks feel little to no sexual attraction to any gender. asexuality has nothing to do with libido. there are asexuals who are repulsed by sex, others don’t care, and others enjoy it. and lastly, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two separate things. so there are still aces who seek out and wish to be in a romantic relationship.

so being asexual isn’t about the “would you or would you not do it” in general, it’s the lack of a “I’d hit that👀” when looking at someone.

thanks for coming to my ted talk

🔵 Leo

In a romantic relationship, I feel like out of the four Leo would be the one to get handsy the quickest.

He isn’t shy about PDA, but won’t cross any lines you set of course.

Big fan of being a gentleman and showing you off all he can, like opening doors for you and bowing dramatically, letting you pass.

Will always try to be touching you in some way, holding your hand, leaning on you, or with an arm over your shoulders.

If you’re not a fan of PDA, he’ll have to hold himself back a lot in public, but he’ll try his best to keep it behind closed doors.

Once you’re alone though, be prepared to be smothered in physical affection.

He just can’t help it!

There’ll be times when he gets carried away, and sweet kisses start crossing into make-out territory.

The first couple of times you’ll have to push him off you if you don’t wanna go there.

He understands though, and is super patient.

From then on he asks for your permission every time he kisses you.

If by then you still haven’t come out as ace to Leo, I think he’d still have picked up that something is going on.

Especially because you look kinda guilty when telling him to get off you.

He doesn’t want to pry, and will wait until you’re ready to tell him whatever is on your mind.

If he starts overthinking, he might start to think you’re grossed out by him or something, and his insecurities will get the best of him.

So really it’s best to explain it to him, or he’ll start withdrawing from you a bit

Leo and you were on his bed, legs tangled and your head on his chest, watching some videos on his phone.

It was getting late, so you decided to call it a night. Putting away his stuff, Leo went to kiss you good night.

You thought it would be a quick peck, but he lingered. Suddenly wanting to deepen the kiss, Leo’s hand wandered down your arm to your waist, crawling underneath your shirt ever so slightly.

When his hand came in touch with your skin, you jumped, and backed away.

“I-I’m sorry, Y/n”, he apologised. “I didn’t mean to- We don’t have to…”

“No, it’s okay” you said, your fist clenching the bed sheets. Seeing his dejected face, tears started rolling down your cheeks. You had been trying to talk to him about you being ace, but never found the moment. And now here you were, leading him on, hurting him. “It’s me that should be apologising…”

“Whoa, why are you crying?” Leo said with a sad smile, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “I’ll wait, no need to rush.”

“That’s the thing though, Leo” you hiccuped. “There’s nothing to wait for.”

He looked at you with a quizzical expression, and you started to explain. You told him you were asexual, that you weren’t interested in anyone sexually, not him nor anyone. And not because you considered him to be unattractive; on the contrary, you thought he was the most beautiful creature on this planet, in and out. You reassured him that you really loved him, but if it was sex he was after, then you might as well go separate ways, because to you, that was non-negotiable. You ended by telling him that if he wanted to break up, you’d understand.

All the while he looked at you and listened intently. When you were finished, sniffling into your sleeve, he just took a deep breath and leaned back. After a while of thinking how to word his thoughts the best, he turned back to you and took both your hands in his.

“You know, I wish you had told me sooner” he started. “And I am so sorry if you ever felt like that was something you couldn't tell me because you were scared I’d leave you, or that I would think less of you.”

Leo tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, giving you the softest look and smile.

“Let’s sit down tomorrow and set out clear boundaries on what we’re comfortable with. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.” He hugged you to his chest. “And hey, thank you for telling me. I just want you to be happy.” And with a sweet kiss to your head, you both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

🔴 Raph

Raph strikes me as a “I don’t really understand it but you do you! (thumbs up)” kinda guy about a lot of things.

He was your best friend, he supported everything you did, and always had your back.

He wanted you to be happy after all!

And that meant of course finding a partner that would treat you and care for you the way you deserved.

Whenever there was a group of people your age around, he would elbow you and you two had entire conversations solely in eye contact about that one cute person over there.

And it’s not that you didn’t want to get into a relationship; you actually did.

Having a partner sounded great in theory: you’d always have someone by your side to give you emotional support and physical affection when you needed it.

And you could also give back to them and feel appreciated.

Except for that one thing a partner would want from you, that you were not able to give.

Raph and you were sitting in his room, playing UNO and chatting away as usual. Except that the one topic came up which you dreaded the most.

“So…” Raph said, and you already hated where this was going. “Did you get a S/O yet? When are you bringing them over?”

“You’re not my dad, you know that, right?” you joked, trying to deflect his comment, setting down a card.

“I know, I know. It’s just that I know you’ve had some crushes in the past-“

You gave him a look, tilting your head and lifting one eyebrow.

“Yes, I see you looking at others you know, you’re not as subtle as you think” he smiled. “Thing is, you’ve never pursued them. Why?” Raph played his card: a +2. You grumbled.

Taking your cards from the pile, you shrugged. “Guess I wasn’t crushing hard enough.”

Raph set down the cards from his hands face down on the table, putting all his focus on you and the conversation at hand. You shifted in your seat.

“You know that you’re great, right? You have every chance and right to ask someone out that you like. They’d be idiots to reject you.”

“Yeah, I know I know, I’m awesome” you commented sarcastically. Truth is, you knew you were pretty decent. Heck, you were great. And you didn’t look half bad either. But having a partner would mean they’d have expectations and needs that, being ace, you couldn't meet.

You really appreciated Raph trying to be your hypeman, but right now you didn’t feel like you could come out to him. You didn’t feel ready yet. And while you knew he was trying to cheer you up, you couldn’t help but feel that his words irked you the wrong way.

As Raph realised that whatever was on your mind wasn’t something you wanted to talk about right now, judging by your frown, he picked up the cards again.

“Don’t worry, Y/n, someday you’ll find someone, I’m sure of it” Raph offered with a lop-sided smile. You knew he meant well, but somehow that wasn’t much of a comfort. After a short pause he placed down a +4 card.

You frowned at him, not entirely sure if it was the card or the way the conversatin played out.

🟠 Mikey

Mikey spends a lot of time on the internet, so he actually came across the terms asexual and aromantic once or twice.

He knows a lot about different labels actually, even micro-labels.

He’s also quite sharp with people, so if he’s known you for a long time, he may have figured it out even before you did.

Very supportive of any label you decide to adopt.

Will definitely draw you something with the flag’s colours discreetly incorporated if you’re not out yet, or make a full on painting with the palette of the flag’s colours if you’re out.

If he notices you’re hesitant about telling him something (even if at the moment he doesn’t know what it’s about), Dr. Delicate Touch will try to encourage you to confide in him, without forcing you of course.

It’s just very obvious you’re trying to tell him something important, but you back out at the last minute every time.

You were waiting at the lair for the brothers to come back. They had gone on a quick mission for a couple of hours. They should be back any minute.

All the while you had been pacing back and forth in Mikey’s room, going through your monologue several times on how to come out to him. You had heard him mention asexuality once when he showed you a garlic bread meme originally from the ace subreddit, so you knew he was familiar with the label. Hence you weren’t planning on giving him the full explanation, unless he asked of course.

You were fidgeting with a deck of poker cards in your hands when you heard the turtles enter the lair.

‘Now or never!’ you told yourself, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves. You were sure that Mikey would be supportive but even so, coming out to your best friend was still a big deal.

When Mikey entered his room and greeted you with a hug and a spin, you squeaked in surprise, and all of your carefully picked out words flew right out of your brain.

The turtle set you back on the floor, holding your shoulders, and saw how tense you looked.

“Hey Y/n, is everything okay?” he asked, concerned.

“Y-Yeah, I just- I’d like to tell you something, if now’s okay?” Mikey agreed and sat down on the bed, with you standing in front of him. He looked at you expectantly but his concern also grew with every second you let pass in silence.

Realising that your monologue from before was long forgotten, you had to improvise. Picking out some cards from the deck you had in your hands before, you held up 4 of them in your hand so that Mikey could see them: it was an ace of each symbol.

“What do these cards and I have in common?” you asked him. He gave you a slight shrug and an amused smile.

“We’re all aces” you said, and held your breath, waiting for his reaction. “I’m asexual” you added.

He sighed in relief, which confused you a bit, but then stood up to hug you again, this time much more carefully.

“Yeah, I was starting to think so” he chuckled. “Thank you for telling me.” He pulled back to look at you. “You’re valid, and I love you, Y/n. You’re my best friend.”

With a sniffle and a ‘thank you’, you let go of the cards and hugged him the tightest your shaky arms would allow you.

🟣 Donnie

Donnie doesn’t really get the whole idea of romantic relationships anyways.

What is the whole fuss about? If you like someone, you just go up to them and tell them. And if you don’t like them, then you should also go there and tell them.

Brutal honesty above all.

I feel like a QPR (queer platonic relationship) would be much more his speed.

It’s an exclusive relationship, but not by societal romantic standards.

Just like his inventions which he made from scratch, he could shape and define a QPR to be whatever he and his partner wanted.

Being the closest with Donnie out of the brothers, you two actually had a similar point of view on this.

To outsiders you may seem like a couple, simply because you’re glued at the hip.

And you frankly don’t care what people say.

You like what you two have. It’s a mutual implicit understanding that you two share a special bond.

Your only fear is that he could be expecting something more physical from you.

Like many weekends before, you were hanging out at Donnie’s lab, playing around with some of his tools, while he worked on who knew what.

Donnie enjoyed your company, and you were actually helpful most of the time, unlike his brothers. When he needed certain tools, he could just ask you to pass them to him. You both felt like some kind of evil scientist surgeon team, working on a very complex operation.

Just as you were passing him a screwdriver, it slipped out of your grasp, and you ended up presenting your empty hand to Donnie, who took it without looking since his eyes were fixed on the machine before him.

Noticing that his hand was holding onto something soft instead of the expected tool, he lifted up his eyes and met yours. You chuckled, giving him a sheepish “oops” and went to bend down to pick up the screwdriver, but his hand only grasped yours tighter.

Now being very confused, you looked at him, and saw his face shift from focused on work to thinking about something he was about to say. You internally panicked. This was it. Your fears would come true and you’d lose your best friend.

“Y/n, I’ve been thinking” he started slowly. You wanted to respond with a ‘Don’t think too hard, you’ll hurt yourself’, but his face was too serious for quips. You involuntarily held your breath, waiting for him to continue.

“Don’t you think we get along really well?” Donnie went on, not breaking eye contact. “I’ve been thinking about this for some time, and I’d like to ask you out. But like, not in a conventional dating manner, if that makes sense. I don’t think that’s either of our cup of tea. But I still want to be with you. Does that make sense?”

You blinked twice. It did make sense. And you wanted to say yes so bad, because you did like him a lot, in fact. But nothing came out of your mouth, so you just nodded with your head, smiling earnestly.

He looked content with your answer, and was just about ready to go back to his machine as if nothing happened, but there was one more thing you had to say.

“Donnie, I’m asexual” you said rather suddenly, holding onto his hand again which he had let go. He turned back to you.

“So?” He raised an eyebrow.

“You know what that means? I don’t… want to have sex… Not because it’s you, but like, in general. I don’t feel sexual attraction.” Your eyes roamed the room for a bit before coming back to him.

Donnie considered what you said for a moment, then smiled, bringing his goggles down his face.

“Eh, it’s a waste of time anyways. We have better things to do, so I’m fine with that if you are.”

You couldn't help a single happy tear rolling down your cheek. Maybe you two could actually make it work after all.

You squished his hand once and then went to fetch the screwdriver that had rolled over to who knows where.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

I love what you said about LNT, that Harry is mocking his image in the media, and I agree with everything you said but by doing that vid won't it just reinstate the GPs thoughts on him? Imo he was starting to lose that image and that vid is definitely a giant leap backwards. The GP don't look into things and they don't think, they're going to see Harry in a bed with a lot of women and automatically think womanizer, and his team know this. It does seem really symbolic but I can't see anyone else picking up on it other than Larries. His team will probably campaign for AIW at the Grammy's so it's not the case they're trying to pull a WS. I just can't for the life of me figure out why they spent years changing Harry's image from womanizer to bringing it back. It's annoying because in the tabloids it is mostly people speculating on his sexuality and it felt like he was in a good place, unless his team thought he was coming across too gay so they decided to do a really het vid to keep the hets interested.

Hi, love!

While I get what you’re saying, I can’t say I agree, because I think it is about perspective.

What’s interesting with Harry’s House is that I think it’s Harry’s most layered album yet, and to me, there’s a running theme in those layers. The album presents itself as fun, easy pop that you can enjoy and digest without looking too much into it. But, if you do decide to give the lyrics more than one listen, decide to look at it from a more generous angle, you’ll find many of the narratives of the song are a lot deeper than people realize. (This piece explains that concept in a much more articulate way.)

Consequently, I think the LNT video explores the exact same theme of having an “easy” visual layer that is superimposed over a much deeper (although still lighthearted) commentary on Harry’s public versus private life. But just like the songs on Harry’s House, you have to want to see the satire in order to know it’s there. And I say it’s satire because Harry is so very clearly in on the “joke”.

He knows. He knows there’ll be people who listen to AIW solely because it’s a bop, knows that there’ll be people who buy the narrative of Cinema so quickly he doesn’t even have to sell it, knows that if, visually, you put him in a bedroom setting with a bunch of half naked people, there will be tons of people who see that and only that. And I think somehow, part of the message is that, he knows people will believe what they want to believe about him… so let them. He��s not bothered by it anymore because there’s a different group of people that get him, that get his real meaning, and that’s who he’s making music for. (He said something similar in the Zane Lowe interview.)

And it’s pretty brilliant, because if you look at the Harry’s House teaser, he already clues us in on those recurring themes — a theatre, the façade of a house coming down around him, being dresses like a doll, the theme of reversal, etc. The entire album can be read as an ode to Harry’s double life: who people think he is (orgy, bubblegum pop with no substance) versus who he actually is (quiet private Lady and the Tramp date behind the curtain, singing about the trauma of his parent’s divorce), and I think, is a tribute to those who see past the veneer.

Semi-related, I actually don’t think Harry’s team is bringing back the womanizer image. I can see how that’s how it can come across, but I actually think, depending on the perspective you have, Lights Up, Watermelon Sugar, and LNT can be seen as a soft-seeding for a pansexual image. Yes, they all evoke a very sexual vibe, but it’s also a very open vibe. I think this fandom forgets, sometimes, just how far we’ve come with Harry’s image, and I think it’s good to remind ourselves that Harry having male-presenting people in his videos, even in the context of a group, is not something we thought would ever be possible in 2015. Waving pride flags at every show? Starring in a queer romance? Singing “I mess around with him” with his entire chest? A nail polish brand? Wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue? Dorothy?

We couldn’t even fathom half of that in early HS1.

And yes, he is still stunting, and he’s still stunting with commercially attractive thin, white women, and that’s frustrating. But in other aspects? We can’t deny that we have made progress, no matter how incremental it may seem. And, honestly, to survive in this fandom, we have to take those wins and hold them close because this is not a straight line ride. We can’t just shrug that progress off simply because it’s not our ideal and expected expression of queerness. That’s not fair to him, or to anyone.

[maleficent-cannoli]

Timelining KP

The time has come. I’ve spent the last few days organizing my notes as much as possible, so here it is. And it is a monster of a post, I swear I didn’t realize how long this was going to end up being.

HUGE NOVEL SPOILERS AHEAD

So the short version is this:

Ep 10 - VP starts, Chay gets kidnapped, further discussion of the mole, videos, Tawan is dealt with (30 - 33)

Ep 11 - VP episode, “fuck where’s Pete”/dead body, Porsche’s birthday (34 - 36)

Ep 12 - funeral/Return of the Pete, post-VP (36 - 40)

Ep 13 - parental issues, conversation re: Vegas  (42 - 44)

Ep 14 - boss battle, party (44 - end)

And now things get more specific, which is what was taking me so long.

Episode 10 (next episode)

Transition between the end of the Tawan arc and the beginning of the VegasPete/Everything-Is-An-Absolute-Trainwreck arc

VegasPete starts (obviously)

KinnPorsche will probably break up, but get back together by the end of the episode, potentially with the pool scene (although I know I’m setting myself up to be clowned with this one)

KimChay reveal

Kidnapping plotline

Porsche tries to move out/Big pushes Chay dumpster fire extravaganza

Basically everything up to the end of chapter 33 of the main novel (Tawan arc over, KimChay are a mess)

Further discussion of the mole (Kim knows Porsche isn’t the mole, everyone else probably realizes he isn’t the mole, so who is?)

Again, potentially Chay getting kidnapped (kinda hoping that’s what they go with since it was a really nice transition in the novel, not just for Chay himself, but it was the push KinnPorsche needed to talk out some of their issues and get back together, particularly for Porsche to be willing to hear Kinn out after the shit he pulled)

Maybe the whole thing with the sex tapes toward the end, or episode 11, or not at all, who knows

Oh and this would be the VegasPete episode that will probably feel the most uncomfortable because it’s really the beginnings of their relationship and even toned down it’ll be quite the experience

Not just for us but for Pete as well

We will probably see Vegas become more attracted to Pete beyond just being intrigued and amused

Episode 11

I’m thinking primarily VegasPete, like (hopefully) almost entirely VegasPete

Probably cut in with some main family drama 

Chay moving in with the main family?

KimChay kinda going to shit

Obviously some Tankhun commentary would be amazing

Maybe some KinnPorsche parallels with VegasPete, like with completely different tones (soft/fluffy/tender vs. just flat-out violence) but with some aspects that mirror each other?

But like I said probably mostly VegasPete and the development of their relationship

Just because there’ll be other stuff happening in episode 10, I’d say this is probably where Pete gets to see Kan/Gun (idk what we’re calling him) for the abusive homophobe that he is 

I could see the phone calls happening and the much anticipated “are you hungry?”

This is where we’ll see Vegas start to fall, and I want to see him fall HARD

Depending on how they want to do it, we could maybe see some more romantic implications, but I don’t think Coco just yet

You know what could be fun to see that I can see happening in this episode? The shaving scene

Episode 12

Wrapping up the main VegasPete arc and seeing what happens once Pete escapes

I’d estimate around half the episode taking a look at the dynamics back at the main family once Pete’s returned

This is probably the episode where we’ll get to see the infamous love scene that was apparently intense enough for Bible to need an inhaler

I am REALLY hoping we get the Coco scene, or at least something like it

Pete will probably escape somewhere in here

We’ll probably get the funeral scene and the Return of the Pete (because I will take any and all opportunities to make a LotR reference, even where it clearly does not belong), which will be absolutely hilarious

Bonus points if we get to see Tankhun dump a soup tureen on Vegas for finding the funeral funny

A scene I’ve been hoping we’ll get for a while now is the gathering of mafia wives (Tae’s words, not mine)

Chay is hilarious, I love Tae, and Pete is doing not great

I especially want to see the part where Vegas ambushes Porsche in the bathroom to talk about Pete because “I love him and I can’t live without him” and yes, that is a direct quote

A lot of the post-VegasPete drama could also carry over into episode 13 to make it just that much spicier

Episode 13

I’ve been playing with different ways to refer to this part of the plot, since it’s basically unpacking everyone’s parental issues (I at one point was calling it Porsche’s Batman backstory)

But yeah a lot of this is just digging into what happened to the Kittisawasd parents

And Vegas has both mommy AND daddy issues, the whole package

Also Vegas being all worried and asking Porsche about Pete to make sure he’s ok

Plus increasing tension between the major and minor families in the run-up to what I’ve been referring to as the boss battle

Episode 14 

The boss battle, the final showdown, the big dramatic fight scene, whatever you want to call it, that’s this episode

I don’t think there’s much else to say about that part

Basically wrapping everything up

The party from the end of the novel

I’d love if they did some of the stuff from the VegasPete special chapters, and by that I mean I want to see baby Venice Theerapanyakul

Probably ending on everyone’s favorite chess aficionado doing some ominous foreshadowing via some complicated metaphor that may or may not actually make sense (apple/knife metaphor who?)

So yeah, that’s what I got. And I am going to try to do this every week after each episode, so they’ll be getting shorter as we go along. I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on this too.

[astronomicalgarbage]

guess it must be me, so don’t say I never did anything for y’all /j

y’all are really missing out if you can’t make it to the end of the video where he talks about bombing Japan again.

[Tiktok video from @ theangryasian. The text reads “Japan is filled with predators(Loli enthusiasts)”]

[audio transcript]

Y’know, I feel like as a whole we over glamorized Japan like a lot without realizing that these motherfuckers are lowkey weird as hell. Like, why does no one else seem to, like, take an issue with these motherfuckers obsession with little girls? Like, the whole concept of loli in general just makes my skin itchy, man. Like, is no one else finding that shit weird as hell?

And before you weird-ass, loli-loving kid-touchers come into the comments talking about some, “well, if they’re actually 3000 years old, then they’re actually not children,” motherfucker, you need to be investigated. And all the dumbass technicalities that these motherfuckers use to try and skirt around a clearly obvious little girls age, by just, like, magically making that bitch, like, 32,000 years old is genuinely wild as shit.

Like, these fucking EDP445’s will literally show a 6 year old child get given ferocious fucking backshots going 137 miles per hour, but it’s magically okay because turns out that little girl is actually 127,000 years old. Yeah, my ass. More like 127,000 fucking terabytes. Like, what are you talking about?

And then these fucking kid-diddlers will also try to make the case that it’s okay because it’s [air quotes] just pictures and drawings [air quotes]. Oh yeah, motherfucker, welcome to the James Charles under-18 club. You’re a VIP member.

And what’s even worst is that that shit’s not even true anymore, because these motherfuckers in Japan are starting to make loli in real life. Like, these fucking weirdos for real make this Japanese AV video where they hired an 18 year old actress to play as a 12 year old schoolgirl where she gets fucked by her teacher. Motherfuck, why?

And what makes this shit even worse is that you can buy this shit in like literally almost every store in Japan. Like, there are like 18+ sections in, like, certain gas stations. You know how fucking insane that is? You can going in just wanting to get a yogurt, and you’ll look to the side and there’ll literally be about 3 gross motherfuckers just in that section just ferociously beating their meat while looking at little children.

Also, like, do these motherfuckers have 0 shame at all, too? Imagine the embarrassment you feel when you have to open that curtain up and walk out the 18+ section holding a loli hentai in your fucking hand. And you have to walk over to the cashier and hand that shit to him with cash in hand. Are you serious?

Well, I don’t know about you. But if I’m that cashier, I’m fucking fighting you. Like, I don’t want to start any beef, but, like, you’re telling me that’s not a reason, like, maybe we should send nuke number 3? Fuck it.

Oh, but hey. At least Japan has good technology.

[end audio transcript]

@hotshotalate @natsukashii11 @danial-avidanial

On today's episode of antis 📺

WHY do antis keep comparing drawings / pixels to real kids ? I've caught plenty of antis be hypercritical about weird fetish / kink things but let's stop the world from spinning to talk about a pink haired neko loli 💀

[antimonyandthyme]

You Need Only Inhale

1k, Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel

Showering is a half an hour affair, because Lewis’ hands are wonderfully distracting, warm and slick with soap. Sebastian leans back against the tiles with a sigh when Lewis crowds him with a kiss, all the while keeping his hands roaming, trailing them around the curve of Sebastian’s collarbones, down to his nipples, then down the planes of his belly. The touch hovers somewhere between reverent and endeared, and even under the hot spray, Sebastian wants to shiver. He’s so gone for Lewis. If they could, they’d go at it again; Sebastian would turn over and let Lewis take anything.

As it is, Lewis has a video call of some sort. “Your call,” Sebastian says dutifully. He deserves a prize for that.

Lewis’ eyes are mischievous, droplets of water clinging to his lashes making them glint. Even here, away from the scrutinizing gaze of anyone else, he glitters. “What call?”

“Stop,” Sebastian tries ineffectually to bat Lewis’ hands away. It’s a poor excuse for any sort of attempt, like swatting a rock with a feather. “If Toto finds out that I’m the reason you missed your debrief, there’ll be hell to pay.”

Lewis raises an eyebrow. “And how do you suppose he’ll find out?”

Sebastian grins, reaching over to massage the faint bruise on the side of Lewis’ neck. “I might have been a little careless.”

Lewis’ hand goes up to his neck, covering Sebastian’s, pressing down like he’s savouring the sting of the bruise. His smile is a little sharp, a little hungry. “I like it when you get careless,” he says.

“Christ,” Sebastian mutters. He pulls their hands away, and leans forward to place his lips against Lewis’ neck, right where he marked Lewis earlier. Teeth, then tongue, biting then soothing. Lewis shifts eagerly under him. “Now you’ll have to wear a turtleneck.”

Lewis’ laugh is delighted. “No, I don’t think I will.”

Something unnamed bubbles up within him, stays frothing in his chest even after Lewis finally slips out of the bathroom. Something about the marks they’re leaving on each other and wearing proudly for the world to see. Sebastian likes where they are now. Through trial and error and victory and loss and a handful of perfect moments, Sebastian has learned to chase only the things that make him happy and to hold on to them for dear life. Lewis, racing. Nothing else has to matter.

Except there’re so many things that do. The fact that he gets to be in Lewis’ space. The fact that he’s been made privy to the brand of shampoo Lewis uses, and his partiality for patterned toilet paper. Every new thing he learns about Lewis is something precious he wants to hoard. He runs his eyes across Lewis’ impressive collection of cologne. Picks out the first bottle, takes a good inhale of it.

Leather and suede, on the heavy side. Tom Ford. Sebastian racks his brain. He doesn’t remember Lewis wearing this one much.

Down the line, the transparent Hermès bottle. Sebastian sniffs at it curiously. Citrusy, yet not too sharp on the nose. He likes this one. But again, the scent doesn’t ring familiar.

The lacquered glass bottle catches his eye next, and ah—it’s the one. Cedar and nutmeg, strong yet fresh like the breeze. He remembers sitting next to Lewis one presser, and he’d caught a whiff of this scent, crisp and clean and perfect on Lewis, and the urge to lean over in front of all the journalists and photographers to bury his face into the juncture between Lewis’ neck and shoulder had been so overwhelming—

“Shopping for something?”

Sebastian nearly drops the bottle that probably cost several hundred dollars. “Uh,” he says, sheepish.

Lewis’ expression is fond, amused. “I don’t mind. You like that one?”

Like isn’t a sufficient word for it. It smells like you, so it reminds me of you, so like can’t be sufficient, like doesn’t even come close. Except Sebastian has no idea how to say that without revealing too much. “It smells nice,” he offers.

Lewis is looking at him carefully now. “Do you want it?”

Sebastian frowns, bewildered and caught a little off guard. “No, I didn’t mean. I wasn’t asking—”

“I know,” Lewis says. “I know you weren’t asking.” He steps closer. Sebastian notices now: the black shirt Lewis is wearing does nothing to hide the bruise on his neck. “You never do,” he adds, and it sounds a little strained.

Sebastian swallows, the sudden weight in the air prickling at his arms. “What’s wrong, Lewis?” he says, soft like his question could be the frequency that breaks a wineglass.

“You’re not listening to what I’m saying, Seb,” Lewis says, frustrated. “I’m asking you to ask.”

Understanding is bright and sharp, like sea salt grazing the nose. Sebastian thinks about Lewis going for a video call with the bruise on full display. He thinks about wearing Lewis’ cologne, for people to comment, Hey, this smells like. You smell like Lewis. He thinks about the little things they can do to cement their hold on each other.

“Could I have it? Please?” Sebastian asks. It’s odd to put so much emphasis on a silly bottle of cologne, but Sebastian doesn’t want to return it to the counter. He wants to keep it. Have a bit of Lewis about his home, when the longing gets too much.

“It’s yours,” Lewis says immediately, like he’s been waiting forever to tell Sebastian, voice a little rough. “It’s yours, Seb.”

Sebastian nods. He puts the bottle down gently by the sink. “I’m only leaving this here for the moment. Because I’m about to do something violent.”

Lewis’ mouth is turning up. “Oh?”

Sebastian throws himself into Lewis, kissing him hard, kissing him until both their lips are stinging and swollen red. Lewis’ arms encircle his waist, and squeeze until Sebastian is breathless. Here it is, one of those perfect moments. Happiness must be grasped fully, with both hands. Sebastian allows himself to be lifted up, laughing and joyous.

[bloodorangesoup]

Ice Cream and Bad TV | B.B.

Request: Late night thoughts : The only porn bucky watches are the ones that come on tv at like 2 or 3 in the mornings. Imagine cuddling up with him on his living room floor, aimlessly clicking around until you stumble upon the channel & he gets flustered & shy about it & you fuck him while porn plays in the background. Like I think it’s so romantic🥺🥺 riding him while the soft glow of the tv illuminates his face. His moans & grunting blending in with the actors 😫😫

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I cannot for the life of me control myself)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ | cuddle fucking, unprotected sex(pretend ur on birth control for a sec)(still wrap it b4 your tap it), flustered Bucky, porn talk, the tiniest bit of sub!Bucky for like half a second, fluffy smut, you get the gist

My Masterlist

Notes: I did this in one sitting so sorry if it’s repetitive or has any mistakes. I think I have a major soft sport for flustered Bucky. I also had to think of a realistic name for a TV porn channel so bear with me. This is my first time writing smut in non-headcanon form so let me know how I did! Happy reading!

It was 2am on a Thursday night when your phone rang with your boyfriend's caller I.D. This wasn't the first time that Bucky had called you for this instance, it became a routine for you to talk him down after a nightmare and you prepared to do so when you picked up. Usually the first thing you would hear was his heavy breaths, the anxious buzz in his body making him fumble his words as he tried to focus on talking to you, so you were surprised to be met with still breathing and his typical deep, steady voice.

"Doll? You there?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm here," you replied with a yawn, trying to sound as awake as possible. Bucky could hear the airiness of your voice and let out a sigh.

"Sorry, baby, I woke you up."

"You say that every time, I don't mind waking up for you. Besides, I don't have work tomorrow so I don't exactly need my beauty rest."

There was a pause. You could still hear static from the other side of the call but Bucky didn't say a word.

"Buck? You okay?" As if you snapped him out of a daydream, his hurried words rushed through the phone.

"Yeah yeah, sorry. I'm kind of out of it right now, I had another bad dream."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You had expected his usual answer of yes, then you would listen to his thoughts and comfort him through the horrific reality that were his nightmares.

"You said you don't have work tomorrow? Do you think you could come over right now? Actually never mind, I don't know what I'm saying, it's 2am." You could practically see Bucky shaking his head as he took back his question.

"I'll be there in twenty, James. You better have some blankets and pillows ready for me because we're taking over your couch."

Bucky let out a breath over the line, "See you soon, y/n, love you."

"Love you more," you said quickly before hanging up, not letting him get in the last 'I love you.'

~

Forty minutes later you found yourself on Bucky's lap on his living room floor. You two had abandoned the idea of the couch and chose to make a small fort with the couch as your scaffolding. There was a surprising amount of pillows and blankets surrounding the two of you, you had no idea Bucky even owned them all.

He sat with his back against the couch, your legs laid over his and your arms were around his neck, bringing his head down to your chest. He talked about his nightmare, sparing you the gruesome details, and once he was done he closed his eyes and leaned further into your chest, breathing in your scent. You gave the crown of his head a kiss and rested your head atop his. Comfortable silence washed over the two of you before you spoke up.

“You know what always makes me feel better?” you asked, lifting your head just enough to look down at him.

“What?” he mumbled into your chest. A soft smile graced your face at his cuteness.

“Ice cream and bad TV!” you announced excitedly before wiggling out of his grasp.

You did a little jog to his kitchen and reached down into the freezer to grab a small pint of ice cream you knew Bucky always kept stashed for you whenever you came around. Picking up two spoons and turning off all the lights in the apartment on your way, you quickly made your way back into the living room, lifting Bucky’s arms to situate yourself back into your position on his lap. You popped the lid of the small tub and handed it to Bucky along with a spoon. With your hands now free, you felt around in the dark for the remote and turned on the TV.

Waiting for the TV to completely turn on, you ate a spoonful of ice cream. You hummed at the taste of the cold sweetness coating your tongue. You gasped as you opened your eyes, finding Bucky scooping out some ice cream and lowering it to your mouth.

“Oh wait, let me make this cuter!” you squealed with your eyes wide.

Copying Bucky’s actions, you took a spoonful and lifted it to his lips, the both of you opening wide and feeding each other. You giggled at the cliché moment and Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at how adorable you were.

You turned back to the TV, lifting the remote in your hands to change the channel to anything but the news that was already playing on the screen. As you flipped through sports recaps, music channels, infomercials, and movies that were already almost over, you sighed.

“Ugh, there’s nothing good on. Maybe if I start from the end of the list there’ll be better stuff,” you huffed.

Before Bucky could register what you said you had already typed in the biggest number you could enter and began flipping down through channels. Surfing through the empty screens, you landed on one called HotNet and suddenly the screen was completely taken over by a pair of boobs which then cut to a woman on her back and a man on top of her, rutting into her at a slow pace, while her moans echoed throughout the apartment. You quickly shuffled with the remote, trying to turn the volume down from it’s loud setting, spooked at the loud, obscene noise coming from the speaker.

“Oh my gosh, I wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed into Bucky’s chest, “God, I hope your neighbors didn’t hear that.”

Bucky stared at the screen with wide eyes, hoping you would change the channel before noticing that the channel was in the On Demand section. You gasped through your laugh, collecting yourself before turning back to the TV and shaking your head.

“Jeez, I didn’t even know they still had porn like this on public television.” You looked back down at the remote, clicking the Guide button. Bucky’s heart stopped as the description took over the screen, the video still playing in the top right corner. In bold letters the words On Demand titled the card. Even worse, the bottom of the screen displayed a small box containing the information,

$19.99

purchased with debit card xxxx-9758

You furrowed your brows in confusion, realization slowly softening them, before a mischievous smirk took over your face. You lifted your head to look at Bucky, his face looked down at your lap, refusing to meet your eyes. You tapped the bottom of his chin with the remote, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“Did you order TV porn, Jamie?” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice, and you only ever used that nickname when joking around, yet Bucky still felt extremely embarrassed. He felt as if he just got walked in on while touching himself. It didn’t help that it was you that saw it, he wanted to crawl in a hole and never look back.

“Ah, you’re blushing,” you squealed as you took his cheeks in your hands, “oh come on, it’s not that embarrassing Bucky.”

“Ugh, can we please pretend you didn’t just see that,” Bucky groaned, closing his eyes to escape your stare. He set down the ice cream next to him and lifted his forearm over his eyes.

You let out a breathy laugh, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself and pushing up to swing your leg under you to the other side of his lap, you straddled him.

“Hey, it’s really not that bad. I mean we’ve had sex before Buck, I think you’d rather have me find this than Sam or someone else.” He let out another groan and lowered his head to lean against your neck.

“Angel, please don’t talk about Sam while you’re on top of me and there’s porn playing on the TV.”

You laughed and ran your hands down his arms, letting one of your hands run up behind his neck and weaving your fingers into his hair. You gripped the back of his head and gently tugged him back up to face you.

“Why,” you sang, deciding to have some fun with him in his flustered state, “is this turning you on?” you whispered the last part.

Before he could respond you leaned down and kissed him. You didn’t bother to start off slow as you usually would, Bucky could taste the hunger from every parting of your lips. His hands gripped your waist, you rocked your weight forwards to rub against him. Bucky’s head clouded, his senses felt overloaded in the best way possible, your movements mixed with the sounds of the moaning coming from the TV were getting him hot. You pulled back before getting too carried away, a smile on your swollen lips.

“So, baby, tell me about it.” You said. It was Bucky’s turn to furrow his brows and he cocked his head to the side in question, mind still foggy from the feeling of you grinding on him.

“What kind of porn do you watch?” you clarified, looking at him like you just asked what his favorite color was.

“Uhm, you want to know about that stuff?” Bucky looked at you with caution, feeling out if he should listen to you or not.

“Well, yeah. I mean I don’t know how it was back then, but most people nowadays watch porn. It’s not super taboo to talk about it,” you explained. You weren’t going to force him to talk about it if he really didn’t want to, but your desire to hear what Bucky was into was strong.

He hesitated for a moment, looking in your eyes and seeing curiosity clouded with lust. He cleared his throat.

“Well, pretty much this stuff,” he gestured with his hand to the TV before putting it back on your waist, “there’s this girl on there, she kinda looks like you, so I buy the videos with her.” He closed his eyes and internally groaned at his words, he didn’t mean to come off so perverted. God, you had already found his porn, the last thing he needed was for you to be thinking he was a creep.

“Y’know that’s actually kinda sweet,” you giggled, “what do you like about those videos?”

Feeling a bit more comfortable knowing you weren’t grossed out, Bucky continued.

“I like the ones where it’s dark and slow. It’s usually quiet and there’s candles and stuff,” he explained shyly. Of all the surprises that came with dating Bucky, you had to admit finding out he was into romantic porn was one of the biggest ones.

Bucky cleared his throat again before questioning you, “Do you watch porn?” He felt almost wrong asking that. He knew that women in this age were more sexually liberated, but the words still felt sticky in his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, of course I do.” Bucky seemed surprised at how casually you answered. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking you to go on.

“Well specifically, I actually really like the videos that are like this,” you said, your head looking down at you straddling him, he followed your gaze, taking in how nice you felt on his lap. You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest. Your faces were so close your noses were almost touching. You could feel his rapid heart beat under your palm and the quick rise and fall of his chest. “Do you ever watch the ones that look like this, Bucky?” He looked up at you and nodded with wide eyes, his pupils were blown and his mouth was open like he was searching for the words to respond.

You grasped his jaw in your hand, your thumb on his chin, and looked him in the eyes. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but with the newfound knowledge you had, you took your time with your actions. Within the last five minutes, Bucky had revealed to you not only that he liked soft, romantic porn, but that he also watched a specific actress because she looks like you. The one goal in your head was to fulfill his fantasy the best you could at the moment.

With his head still in your hand, you held your eye contact as you let your knees move out, grinding yourself against his growing erection. He let out an involuntary whimper. That was the last straw. You pulled his face to yours, joining him in a hard, yet loving kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pushing your chest against his, trying to get as close as possible.

Bucky’s dick was painfully hard. He couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of you on top of him. His body felt like it was on fire, he was insatiably horny and couldn’t control the way his hips bucked up to grind with you. He felt like a horny teenager the way his mind was filled only with images of you naked, imagining you like that on top of him like you were now.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, keeping your pace slow as you glided it across and bit at his lower lip. A moan made its way out of your mouth and into his as you felt him buck up against you.

You slid your hands down his chest, fumbling with the hem of his shirt before his arms raised, giving you access to peel it off him, throwing it up on the couch. Bucky kissed down your neck, licking over the shell of your ear, and sucking at the center of your throat. He reached down and slipped his hands under your shirt, sliding up and down your waist before gliding up and lifting your shirt over your head, discarding it with his.

Bucky wasted no time reaching around you and unclipping your bra and dragging it down your shoulders. He cupped your breasts, squeezing them with his large hands before bringing you into another tender kiss. Despite your frantic movements, there was a spark of passion cracking through the air, the both of you desperate to feel each other closer.

You broke the kiss, breathing heavily and resting your forehead against his.

“I wanna make love to you, y/n, please, let me make love to you,” he groaned with a slight whine in his voice. He sounded like he was about to crack.

“Please, Bucky.”

You leaned back on your hands and lifted your hips, giving Bucky the room to pull down your shorts and panties in a few swift tugs. He quickly got up on his knees and pulled down his sweats and boxers, sitting back down and tugging them off his legs. You reached your arms forward, Bucky grabbing a hold of your wrists and pulling you back to straddle him again. You gasped at the feeling of his cock under your bare pussy, your wetness from all the grinding and kissing making you slide over him.

You leaned forwards, capturing his lips between yours and raising yourself up on your knees. Reaching under yourself, you gripped his cock, wet with your arousal, and lined him up with your cunt. Bucky gripped your hips as you sank down on him, using every ounce of self control to stop himself from rutting up into you. You stayed like that for a second, adjusting to the way he filled you. Seeing the remote lying on the floor, you grabbed it and slightly turned up the volume, only enough so that you and Bucky could hear the actress in the video being ravished by her co-star.

Bracing your hands on his shoulders, you began to slowly move up and down over him, riding him just as you had told him you liked to watch. His hands moved up from your waist, squeezing your tits, pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You let out a hiss as he rolled them between his fore finger and his thumb, tugging on and rubbing his thumbs over them. He reached around to grab your ass, squeezing and rubbing your cheeks and you used him to pleasure yourself.

You were a moaning mess over him and he wasn’t much different. The room was filled with the sounds of the porn playing on the TV mixed with the sounds of your own cries of pleasure. If the neighbors hadn’t been woken up by the TV, they sure were by you two.

Bucky sat back on his knees, his hands slid down to your thighs, moving your legs from under them and wrapping your legs around his back. His arms worked their way back up to wrap around your waist, bringing you ever so close. The new angle pushed him even deeper up into you. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, giving you access to all the sweet, desperate sounds falling from his lips.

You were now pushing up with your feet behind him, rolling your hips over his. The new technique made your clit rub over his pelvis, the sensation making you throw your head back and let out a deep moan. He took the opportunity to continue kissing your neck, going lower with every lick and bite. He sucked at your collarbone, leaving a deep purple mark in its place.

Suddenly, he was using his arms to lift you up, not pulling out of you, and laying you down on the blanket-covered floor. You instinctively locked your ankles together, pulling him closer as he thrusted into you. Bucky had his metal arm holding himself up while his flesh one squeezed your breasts, feeling them move with his thrusts. He lowered his head to your chest and licked one of your nipples, grazing his teeth over it before taking it in between his lips and sucking. Your hands flew to the back of his head, singing praises as you wove your fingers into his hair. He continued to alternate between your breasts, leaving love bites around them and sucking on their sensitive peaks.

You could feel your body buzz with anticipation, you were so close. The moans escaping your mouth were lewd and uncontrolled. Bucky wrapped his flesh hand around your waist, lifting your chest flush against his.

You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. Nothing felt better than making love with Bucky felt. This was definitely not the first time you two had been intimate, but none of those previous times had ever been like this. You could feel the passion flowing through his body into yours. You looked up at his form over you, how beautiful he looked with the light of the TV screen glistening against the beads of sweat on his forehead. There was absolutely nothing in the world compared to having him, in all his beauty, to yourself like this.

Bucky’s heart was exploding in his chest. What had started out as an embarrassing, nightmare-fueled night had turned into the most intimate experience he ever had in his life. Love was already established in your relationship, but Bucky had never truly made love to you. He looked down in awe at your disheveled state, at the way your hair was sticking to your forehead, at the way the only light in the room gave you an angelic glow. He wanted nothing more than to give himself completely to you, to make you come all over him.

He leaned his forehead against yours, pushing his face forward once every few seconds to kiss you. He was close, and he wanted you to come with him. He leaned into you even more, his cheek pressed against yours, his lips next to your ear.

“I love you so much, y/n, God, you feel so good. I love you, I love you,” Bucky’s voice was deep and strained, his words being emphasized by each push into your wet pussy. You let out another loud moan.

“I love you, James,” you whined as he hit your sweet spot, “I love you so much.”

Bucky’s hand wedged itself in between the two of you, his fingers finding your clit and gently rubbing it. You were completely overwhelmed, this is what it felt like to make love to someone. Your body began to shake and your breathing became erratic. Bucky thrusted harder, working to push you over the edge.

“I want you to come in me, Bucky,” you gasped as his thrusts got faster and lost their rhythm.

Your mouth turned open in a silent scream as you came. Bucky felt your walls clench around him, squeezing the life out of him. He let out a shaky groan as he fell over the edge. His eyes shut tight and his body tensed as he spilled into you.

Wrapping his metal arm around your back and securing your body to his, he rolled on his flesh shoulder onto his back. You went limp against him, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat slow down. He was still buried within you, connected to you. Letting your eyelids fall shut, you savored the feeling of being full of him and his love.

You lifted your head to kiss his jaw.

“I’m glad you called me, Bucky. I love you.”

“I am too, doll. I love you more.”