#no more leaking roof
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I bitched so much I got what I wanted!
#v true#im so excited#no more leaking roof#it leaks right over my bed#so it drips on my chest and arms while i sleep#and if i don't notice it will get the bed all wet#but my mom finally called the roof ppl#then we have to call the bank for a loan#and i couldnt do that bc the house is not in my name and the loan will not be in my name#i complained to my dad over the phone#and i think my mom has had enough#she doesnt like when my dad gets involved with our house.#bc he doesnt live with us#im so glad she called#its been like 2 years of me complaining#and i keep getting more cracks#you would think shed have called the day after i had to sleep with her bc of the leaking#but she did not#so i complained to my aunt t#who did nothing#im just so excited#ik its gonna raise the bill prices#but i dont care#i wanna sleep in peace#i was woken up again this morning by water dripping on me#and the next two days is suppose to be bad storms#so im going to be real cranky#i straight up told my dad no one cares bc it doesnt affect them#shut up nicki
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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KADDU JI KI CHALI BARAT
#hold on im crying#nostalgia#it just hit me like a warhammer#now im thinking about all the fun things i did in moms school#when she used to take me with her#15years ago almost#memories#and there was this one about the guy who sneezed so much the tree shed all its leaves#and how the women was more scared of her leaking roof than the tiger#and the tiger thought leak is some very big scary animal#je pense
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i’m slowly getting more ill and our roof is leaking horribly but mezzo forte i will come back for u soon
#i have a lot of ideas but also none at all bc im so out of it#mezzo forte iwa u will return … dw …#i have sm planned but its mostly like endgame content 😢😢#i’m actually so anxious about the roof bc i noticed the little splotch in the roof yesterday and it was pretty bug#big not bug#but it started growing more and more yesterday#and i woke up at 6 am to the sound of droplets 😭😭#and its only growing and i’m so anxious about it#i have some water spots in my room’s ceiling but they havent leaked like ever#so im scared that theyre gonna leak while i’m hanging out in my room one day 😭😭#ajyways theres my rant#lots of things going wrong#my body is not getting any better and i think it got worse with last night#filo party + soju + lots of friends over + late night cold = not good for health
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"boycotting doesn't work they're already making billions of dollars" yeah but you don't have to HELP
#like. even if they're still gonna have more money than god if you CAN say no I won't be part of this#why wouldn't you?#there's no ethical consumption under late stage capitalism but there's a big difference between taking candy from a baby and wanton killing#everything is unethical but some things are MORE unethical so like#if your goal is harm reduction#which it should always be in any kind of activism#then even if you can shut the tap you can close it a little bit#like if the whole roof is leaking you can choose to not piss directly onto the bed#that metaphor probably doesnt make sense I'm pretty high#the point is even if you can't stop the hurt you can choose not to make it worse
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Omg?? I just took a bath?? It's so nice?? Why don't I ever do it*
*important disclaimer: I wash myself regularly, I just usually take showers.
#in our apartment we have a shower and a bathtub#but the bathtub has been off limits for the majority of my life due to leaking onto the roof of the downstairs floor#then it was fixed but at that point the concept of a bath had become alien to my family#even when the shower is unusable due to issues we use the bathtub like a shower lol#now they're redoing the shower to make it more accessible so i tried using the bathtub as a bathtub#it's so nice lmao#blabbering me
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Vague work email: Don't come into the building until we send an additional notification
Me: 🤔 Is this flooding or a bomb threat?
#Given my work place's history it is truly a toss up which it is#I mean flooding is more likely given the weather and our shitty roof leaking repeatedly over the years and our current roof construction#But also we've had two safety threats in the last 5 years that evacuated the building so like 🤷🏻♀️ Who knows!#Thankfully I'm working from home so it's not my problem 😊
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I want to write... but alas... the cleaning...
#writing liveblogging#my roof sprang a leak yesterday after a wind storm a few days ago ;A;#this is the first time that my house has needed a repair#and I panicked a little and texted my much older friend like PLEASE HELP I PUT A TRASH CAN UNDER IT BUT#and he had to talk me down lmao bless#but yeah the roofers are coming tomorrow and they're gonna patch it#idk if they need to come inside tho so I'm cleaning to make this place look more like I'm a functional adult#(I'm not but I do like to pretend)#things keep conspiring to keep me from finishing this story rip
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if they have a leak in the roof then what the hell else is going on in that house 😭
#they should be a LOT more concerned bc if the guy just did the roof and you already have a leak and the plaster is falling apart#that means he did shitty work and something else could be fucked up#didnt they say they had problems with the plumbing ???? like uhhhh
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I consider myself relatively good at day to day cleaning, although I am rarely in the 'cleaning mood'. But I guess it had to come around sometime, even if sometime was this Monday morning at 8:30am, and now every drawer in my room is gutted and the walls smell of white vinegar
#personal#i have not had cleaner walls in years however#since the roof leak fiasco of 22-23 i have seen mould patches pop up where the water dribbled down the walls#it began happening around mid summer. always told myself i'd deal with it later and then later... well now they are gone#something else to keep an eye out for in the long run#the drawers have nothing to do with that i just want more space for minis.
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I wouldn't say my social bubble is terribly small. My former manager thought comparing safaris a suitable small talk topic. I had colleagues who played golf and were landlords. (Thanks to their middle-class families, not our salaries. The women in any case because men didn't discuss theirs).
But it's only their complaints about the current crisis that make me realize what being middle-class was/is really like. The small things, that is. I knew about the home-owner, 2 cars per family and holidays abroad standard (none of that necessarily as big/new/expensive as in Western Europe). Sounds neat, I have no trouble imagining living like that.
But until this nightmare inflation they'd just buy any food they wanted, including the most expensive out-of-season fruits and vegetables? Not just what was on sale? They'd take baths any time they wanted and went to restaurants all the time? And it's so difficult for them to give that up?
I do have compassion for them and worry about the impact of middle class struggling on the rest of the society, but I didn't even realize in how different worlds we lived.
#of course I don't talk extensively of things I can't afford so they probably don't realize either#every day I'm grateful I have a roof over my head#and it was also true when it was a moldy leaking roof in a house with someone making my life hell#and the more you spend on necessities the worse inflation you get#so of course we were hit worse#but we *are* more resilient#and it must be horrible for someone who never had to struggle before#not to mention how important a strong middle class is for stable society#aftter 30 years of talk of catching up to the West we might be succeeding#to UK or US even#:(#we might pay for healthcare and have to save up for our own pensions#dystopia
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i've never looked forward to a therapy appointment more in my life, the past 6 weeks have been so difficult and i'm really not handling it, i need to Vent
i think i'm a stronger person than i was this time last year but i still need someone to tell me my emotions aren't wrong to have
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I just realized we have been accidentally adding punk rock and metal we like to one of our music playlists titled “rain on a tin roof” hm. I feel like somehow rock and metal do not fit the chill rain vibe HAHA.
#-otto#maybe i should keep it. for shits and giggles#OR we could rename the playlist. whats something that works here. uhh#’raining rocks’ uhh or maybe ‘rain gutters’#those sound fucking stupid nevermind HAHAHA#’rain on a tin roof that is actually leaking so it causes more stress. with a splash of metal music��
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I want mice so bad i miss having them!!!
#forgetting the lioden grabby hands emote is not a real emote that i can add to a post#i told myself i have to wait until i get my living room back in order and organize all my rodent supplies#i used my living room as storage for abit since we lost our storage room to a roof leak so i have to get rid of everything#or find a place for it#i need book shelves#and then! mice#almost considering getting a group of girls and a lone male bc i cant decide which to get next#its not much more beyond extra bedding#im spending my money on dumb stuff again i want to put it into something more enjoyable!
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I am going to end up on the 6 o'clock news.
#if I don't hear back from this roofing company one more time im going to become a karen and i really hate that thats the mindset im in#i am so serious#I don't want to find another company because these people were the ones that came out the first time so they should be the ones to fix it#“oh heres the solution thatll be $1500. oh its leaking again? im dropping off the face of the planet.”#and every time i find a new company it takes weeks for them to even call back for an inspection#im fucking tired.#i should not dread to come home#but every time i know its going to rain i DREAD being here. i dont want to go in my room and see the ceiling thats trying to cave in#I don't want to spend the night listening to water dripping from too many places at once#the other night it started to rain and my fan blades were clicking and i had to turn it off because it was making me paranoid#i just want to live in my house in peace#ive been trying to get this fixed for 6 months now#why is it so hard to find a company that will LISTEN#at this point i would rather a company just say “well you're going to need a whole new roof” than give me the run around one more time#because nobody is willing to come out while its actively leaking and figure out where its coming from#im calling you WHILE its raining so that someone can figure this out RIGHT NOW instead of blind guessing#its supposed to storm again tonight and i feel so nauseous thinking about the damage#okay im done
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Nothing as fun as discovering a leak in your parents house roof because a ceiling lamp is dripping a lil bit. while your parents are away on a weekend trip. in the middle of the night.
#I'm okay I'm not panicking#I'm just like 😐#one more leak for the collection#is there any roof ever that doesn't leak? does it exist?#because we've moved multiple times and had roofs every time and all of them leaked at least somewhere#sometimes only when it's raining AND windy#but that still sucks y'know#anyway i touched the lamp while it was still on#it was wet#and an hour later i was like oh! wait could i have died at that point???#idk but it seems like a stupidly risky move on my part haha
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