#no more color ever again we're going back to black and white after this

[deanscherrypie420]

𝑫𝒊𝒕𝒛𝒚 𝑫𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒏

A/N: Hi guys! This idea just like.. came to me. I hope you guys like it! Don't worry, I will make more Sammy fics.. Nobody has asked I just figured its been a minute lol. If you enjoy this story, feel free to follow, comment and reblog <3 All feedback is appreciated! Enjoyyy!

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader Y/N, Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Castiel

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader

Warnings: Bimbo!Demon reader (Hear me out-), Demon!Dean, holy water, supernatural stuff, devils trap, cursing, shopping spree, sexual dialogue, groping, thigh grinding, edging/orgasm denial, praise kink, smut.

Summary: After running into the Winchesters, you find yourself in a sticky situation. You didn't expect your soon-to-be shopping spree to get turned into an interrogation. Fortunately, after lots of discussion, you convince the group to let you go. Oh how Dean regrets it.

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She was looking into a diner window, using it as a mirror as she reapplied her lipgloss. She carefully patted her lips with the pad of her middle finger, her lips in a perfect "O" shape.

She heard a faint sound of men laughing and adjusted her eyes to see through the glass, now noticing the two men at the diner. She smiled and rested her finger on her bottom lip, tugging it down slightly. She blinked and her eyes went black, staring down at the two.

It was a fun trick she did when she noticed men staring, scaring them to death, only for nobody to believe them. She noticed them stare at each other, the typical startled expression overwhelming their faces.

She turned on her heel and strutted down the sidewalk, a triumphant smile forming on her face. Her eyes were back to their normal Y/E/C color. She flipped her hair over her shoulder, listening to the urgent footsteps that followed behind her.

Y/N turned and grinned, giving the men a flirty wave. "Hi, boys! Can I help you?" She questioned, finding their expressions amusing. "I don't know, Sweetheart. What the hell was that little show you put on for us?" The shorter one asked, moving cautiously towards her.

"Oh, you mean this?" She blinked again and her eyes turned dark, a cheeky smile returning to her face. She expected their shocked expressions, hell everyone got scared. What she didn't predict was the holy water that burned her face shortly after.

She hissed and stumbled back into an alley, "You're gonna ruin my makeup!" She screamed, her hands covering her face as she stepped back further.

"That's your concern? Your makeup?" The taller man questioned, raising his brows in disbelief. She nodded quickly, flicking the burning water off of her hands. "Get the hell away from me! Who even are you?" She spat at them.

"Oh, baby. We're the Winchesters. Some of the best damn hunters you'll ever meet." Her eyes widened when she felt a blade enter her shoulder, a loud whine echoing off the walls.

She gasped and looked down at her now stained tube top, the blood quickly oozing down into the white fabric. "My shirt-!" She was cut off by a hand covering her mouth, the damp fabric hurting her skin. The holy water dripped down and evaporated off of her chest. Her vision went blurry and before she knew it, she was out.

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When Y/N woke up, her head lulled forward. She went to stand up, but was restricted by ropes to a chair. She shouted out and four men entered the room.

"Who are you?" She mumbled, nodding towards the two new faces. "I'm Castiel, the Winchesters guardian angel. This is Bobby Singer. That is Dean and Sam Winchester." The man in a trench-coat explained.

She rolled her eyes, "Well duh, I know who those two are." She said as she eyed the boys. Dean quickly walked towards her, stopping at the edge of the devils trap she was enclosed in. "See this? You're stuck here until you talk." He explained.

"You're tellin' me this girl is a demon?" Bobby asked, a quick, breathy laugh leaving her before he splashed holy water on her. She hissed and cried out, her fists clenching around the wood seat.

"What the hell! What did I do!" She barked, her face scrunched up as the liquid slowly fell to the floor. Sam stood behind her, Dean now standing outside of the trap directly in front of her. She thought it was odd, but didn't have much time to think about it.

"How did you find us, and who are you?" Sam questioned, his fingers curling around the back of the chair. "Find you? I didn't find you, I ran into you by chance."

Sam opened a flask and poured water down the back of her shirt. She screamed, tears starting to pool in her eyes. "How did you find us?" Castiel repeated from the corner of the room. She glanced up at him, her pupils now shot. "I didn't find you..." She barely whispered.

"Name! What's you're name!" The older Winchester hollered, making her flinch back. She glared at him, the fear in her eyes dissolving. "My names Y/N." She answered gruffly, her brows knitted tight together.

Suddenly, Bobby splashed more water at her. She closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep quiet, but was surprised when she heard a yell. She opened her eyes wearily, noticing the steam rising from Dean's arm.

"You're a demon?" She asked, a nervous edge in her voice. It made sense. He didn't step too close to the circle and he didn't carry holy water on him.

"Pretty much, Sweetheart." He rolled his sleeves up, showing her the mark on his arm. Her eyes widened and she felt a bit uneasy. "So why are you attacking me..? We're like the same thing, right?"

"Not even close. He doesn't murder people." Sam answered, moving from behind her and now next to his brother. "I don't kill people? I guess I mean I hurt peoples feelings but I don't kill them!" She protested in a hurry, noticing the older man grabbing a book and whispering Latin under his breath.

"Stop, please! Listen to me! I don't hurt people!" She started getting overwhelmed, her eyes flickering from black to Y/E/C. She was hyperventilating and she bit down on her lip, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Stop! I said stop!"

The room went white, the men grunted as they got back up to their feet. They didn't know what she did, but she broke the devils trap along with half of everything else Bobby owned. Once they were to their feet, they all stared at her.

Y/N was on the ground breathing heavily, curled into a ball on the floor. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, reaching her hands out in front of her to steady herself. She moved to sit down on the floor, an anxious expression evident in her features. "Don't hurt me." She pleaded quietly.

Castiel crouched down in front of her and rested a hand on her knee. "Are you okay?" She nodded and sunk her teeth into the soft flesh of her lip, her eyes a bit puffy from crying.

"You guys are mean." She hiccuped, wiping her eyes with the back of her wrist. Sam raised his brows just like before and he nodded, "Wow. Yeah, uh, I think maybe we can believe her."

Bobby nodded and said something under his breath before stepping out of the room. Castiel followed shortly after, but the brothers stayed to chat with her.

They talked for some time, and she explained why she did what she did. Dean slid his his hand down his face, an exasperated expression following in its wake. "Holy shit, you are one dumb demon. You're aware that that can get you killed?" Sam had to hold back a laugh, shaking his head as he looked down at the floor. "I think she gets that now."

"I wanted to go shopping... You guys ruined my day." She huffed and crossed her arms, turning her face away from the boys. "Alright, Sweetheart. How about I drive you to wherever you were staying, you get cleaned up and then we take you to the mall. How does that sound?" He offered, and her eyes lit up.

"Oh my gosh! You would do that!" She stood up quickly and hugged Dean, her arms squeezing tight around his neck. He was stiff at first but eventually hugged her back, his arms gently squeezing around her waist.

Sam cleared his throat and began slowly creeping out of the room. "I'm not going. You two have fun." He stated quickly before leaving completely. Dean patted her back and she pulled away from him, pecking his cheek before strutting happily out of the room.

Jesus Christ, he thought to himself.

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When they arrived at her hotel, Dean was impressed. It was a fancy joint, tall building and nice decor. He insisted he'd wait in the car as she got ready and she agreed. He watched her prance into the hotel, her heels echoing into the car through the half opened window.

After about forty-five minutes, he heard the now familiar clack of her shoes and he turned his head. His jaw dropped. She was wearing a light pink, cropped tank top along with the shortest shorts he's ever seen. The white straps of her thong hung on her hips above her shorts, making her curves more noticeable.

Her heels matched her jewelry, white rhinestones covering the baby pink material. Her ears were decorated with pink and white-gold dangling earrings, small heart shapes above the two hanging pieces.

She slid into the passenger side door, the scent of her perfume flooding his senses. "Hi! Sorry I took so long. I couldn't decide which top I wanted, but I ended up choosing this one. Do you like it?" She asked as she moved to face him completely. Her shorts rode up the tops of her thighs impossibly higher.

Dean groaned and threw his head back into the headrest, shutting his eyes tight. "What? Do you not like it?" She pouted, her bottom lip jutting out.

"You look fucking fantastic, Sweetheart. Now let's go." He said, not daring to look at her again. She grabbed her phone from her purse and began texting away, quiet giggles erupting from her randomly.

He glanced over, his eyes skimming over her. "What's so funny?" He asked and her smile only grew. "You're gonna pay for the shopping trip, right?"

He closed his eyes and exhaled, reaching his hand over to pat her leg. "Sure thing, Princess." He muttered and she squealed in excitement. She moved her hand to cover his on her thigh, squeezing it in appreciation. "Thank you, Dean!"

"Sure thing." He kept his hand there, his thumb rubbing back and forth on the side of the soft flesh. She toyed with his fingers, pushing back his cuticles and studying his nails. "You could use a manicure." She suggested and he gave her a firm slap on the thigh before pulling his hand away.

"Keep dreamin', Sweetheart." She pouted and dragged his hand back to hers, interlacing her fingers with him. "Be nice to me!" She ordered and he scoffed. "Talk to me like that again and you'll be bent over Baby."

"Baby?" She questioned, leaning towards him a bit more. He pulled the car into park a little too fast, making her slide forward a bit. "The car, Sweetie. Anyway, we're here."

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They had been in the mall for hours, bags weighing down Dean's arms. He had at least a dozen bags on each side. The only thing she was holding was a large slushey.

Once she had finally decided she had enough, she dragged him into the car and ranted about how excited she was to give him a fashion show.

"Are you serious? I just followed your ass around that whole damn building and you expect me to watch you try all that shit on?" He chuckled and shook his head. "Sweetheart, there are like twenty bags back there. I'm not doin' it."

She frowned and glanced up at him, her bottom lip slightly pulling downwards. "Please..." He looked over at her and cursed under his breath. "Fine. Stop looking at me like that."

She giggled and leaned closer, her hands resting on his thigh. "Like what, Dean?" She batted her eyelashes, her fingers gently digging into his leg. He bit his lip and grasped her hands. He shoved her back and she giggled.

When they arrived at her hotel she led him to her room and she took a handful of the bags from him, heading into the bathroom to change. He watched her twirl around in various different dresses, outfits and- Holy fuck.

Lingerie.

She did her little strut through the hotel room, showing him all the different angles of her outfits. He tried hiding the raging boner growing in his pants, but the denim betrayed him.

She smiled when she noticed it, raising a brow. "Oh, Dean." She giggled and slowly walked towards him, the black lace cupping her breasts and pushing them up.

She leaned down and rested her hands on the bed next to him, moving to crawl into his lap. He groaned and pulled her closer, his nails imprinting her hips.

He positioned her so she was straddling his thigh. "What are you doin', Sweetheart?" He asked as she ran her fingers through his hair. "I wanna play with you." She giggled, leaning forward to kiss him.

He completed the kiss, slowly beginning to move her body back and forth, grinding her core against his leg. She whimpered into the kiss, his mouth abruptly leaving hers, moving down to trail bite marks down her neck.

She whined and her head fell back, quiet moans leaving her throat. He pushed his thigh up further and pulled her down harder, making her cry out. Her knuckles turned white from how hard she was squeezing his shoulders, so close to release.

He groaned and one of his hands moved up her back, pulling her head backwards by yanking on her hair. She gasped, clenching around nothing as she moved in rhythm with him.

"Are you close, Princess?" He whispered in her ear, nibbling on the pulse point beneath it. She nodded eagerly and he smacked her ass hard. "Words, sweet girl."

"Y-yes, I'm really- really close." She whimpered out, her thighs squeezing tightly around his. "Good girl." He praised, and she gasped, the feeling in her stomach so close to breaking.

Suddenly, he pulled her off of him, setting her down onto the bed next to him. She protested, incoherent rambles spewing out of her mouth. He shoved his thumb into her mouth, shutting her up instantly.

"Awh, Sweetheart. You look so pathetic. Go back into the bathroom and keep the show going." He told her, and she tried to argue. He just clamped her jaw closed and hushed her. "You wanted to do a fashion show, baby. You better finish it, and then maybe I'll let you cum."

She nodded and stood up, his thumb sliding out of her mouth. She stumbled over to the door and closed it behind her. He sighed in satisfaction, leaning back onto the bed.

"Such a good girl."

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A/N: I Hope you guys enjoyed! It was - also - kind of rushed. Let me know if I made any mistakes <3 Please follow and comment if you liked it :) All feedback is so appreciated! Send requests if you have anything you want me to write about <3

[nolita-fairytale]

burn your life down | chef luca x fem!reader | chapter two

summary: you decided to meet luca, taking him up on his offer to return the favor, and it gives the both of you the opportunity to get to know each other better.

warnings: fluff, eventual smut, eventual angst not use of y/n, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, very little connection to the world of the bear.

word count: 2777

a/n: for an america's indepedence day, have a hot brit and a love story that takes place in denmark lmao. okay so now we're all caught up with what i wrote for the headcanon and boy do i have some surprises in store for you next. thank you so much for all of the reactions to chapter one and the headcanon. this story has weaseled its way into my heart and has taken over my brain. i'm writing it for me but it's nice to hear others are enjoying it too. anyways, let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

chapter one | masterlist | chapter three

“You have to go!” Jesper insists with the kind of conviction of a damn good lawyer. 

“I don’t have to anything,” you reply, making sure to emphasize the word ‘have.’

“No, you have to go,” Mathilde chimes in, a little softer, a little kinder than her brother’s earlier encouragement. 

After your post-shift meeting, everyone had gone home, save for the three of you – the Mikkelson twins cornering you about Luca’s thank-you-card proposition.

“Well, since you both keep harping on it, why don’t you come with me?” you suggest, in an attempt to shift the focus off of you. 

Your eyes scan their faces, trying to get a read on the both of them as Jesper and Mathilde exchange a pointed look, having the kind of non-verbal exchange that only comes from having shared every moment of their lives together.

“What?” you ask, looking back and forth from Mathilde to Jesper again.

“It wasn’t addressed to us,” Mathilde points out with a shrug, a sly look on her face. “It was only addressed to you.”

“Looks like someone has a crush,” Jesper adds with a smirk. 

“He doesn’t have a crush!” you protest without hesitation, your heart seizing for a moment. 

“A talent crush,” Mathilde reasons, knowing that anything more than a talent-crush would talk you out of going entirely. 

“Would it be the worst thing in the world if he did?” Jesper continues, much to both you and Mathilde’s chagrin. “I mean, when was the last time you got-, ow!”

Sharply cut off by an elbow to the rib, Jesper glares at his sister before returning his attention to you. 

“I’m just saying! He’s sexy. He’s a chef at one of the best restaurants in the world. You could do worse for yourself,” Jesper clarifies, earning another glare from his sister. 

He has a point, but you ignore it, because you’re not really sure if you’re ready to go there just yet. You think it over, and after giving it another moment, you open your mouth to speak again. 

“Alright, I’ll go,” you sigh in resignation, earning a few celebratory comments and gasps from the twins. “Are you both happy now?”

And that’s how – after at least an hour of stressing out about what to wear to a place like this – you find yourself standing in front of a closed restaurant on a day where almost everything is closed in Denmark. You’d settled on a pair of wide leg denim pants, a square toed boot appropriate for navigating the Copenhagen cobblestone, and a white and black striped sweater, slightly tucked into the front of your jeans that hangs loosely from your frame. 

Classic. Put-together enough for a two-starred Michelin restaurant on closed day. Certainly not a date kind of outfit.

Luca proves once again to be punctual as ever as he greets you at the front door, right on time. He wears a blue t-shirt that seems to emphasize his already intense blue eyes with a navy-colored apron layered over top of it. 

“You came,” are the first words he says to you, a wide smile spreading across his lips as soon as he sees you.

“Yeah I uh-, thank you. For inviting me,” you stammer, nervously searching for the right words. 

“Thank you for coming. Well, c’mon then!” he encourages, nodding towards the inside as he holds the door open for you. 

“Did you find the place alright?” Luca asks you, as you follow him. 

He leads you into the vaulted basement – the space that makes up the Danish-style, fine dining restaurant that’s been a leader in innovation. You follow Luca through the closed dining room, back into the kitchen, and then into the pastry room as you answer his question, mentioning that it wasn’t too long of a walk and that you found the place just fine.

As soon as you see what he’s been working on, it renders you near-speechless. You can see that he’s been hard at work – on his day off, no less – almost as if he knew you would come. 

“Would you like to have a seat?” he offers, gesturing towards the pastry bench. 

“Uh.. yeah. That’d be great. I-, um… thank you… again, for inviting me,” you answer, watching as he brings a stool over to it, setting up a little space for you. 

“Oh, it’s my pleasure. It’s really the least I can do. Think after this we’re uh… what 5 to 1?” he replies casually, in reference to the fact that he’ll only have fed you once in comparison to the amount of times he’s come to the restaurant. 

You chuckle, returning with a playful, “Well, I don’t think anyone’s keeping score.”

He sends a crooked smile your way, one that you know you’ll be thinking about for the rest of the week, before exchanging a laugh with you. 

“Just think of it as a thank you. For the great meals. For the hospitality,” he continues, as you watch him plate his gelee-focused dish. First the chocolate, then yellow, white, and green. A carefully tweezed wafer on top. 

“This is a shiso gelee with a chocolate mint ganache, finished with a thin slice of marzipan, and a caramel cracker. It’s from our current menu,” Luca introduces, walking you through the dish like you walked him through your crispy rice and trumpet mushroom dish. 

He pushes the plate-that-looks-more-like-a-pedestal towards you for you to try, his eyes meeting yours. Luca studies you carefully as you pick up the fork he’s set out for you, cutting through the gelee for your first bite. He watches as you scoop up a little of the ganache, making sure to get a bit of the cracker as well. 

You’re creating a perfect bite – one with a little bit of everything – just like he’d done with the first dish of yours he had a month or so ago. 

As you raise the fork to your lips, taking your first bite, the vibrant flavors hit your tongue with surprise and brilliance that you weren’t expecting. It’s somehow new, innovative, yet nostalgic all at once. 

“Oh my god,” you say with a sigh of pure bliss. You savor each and every flavor, taking your time with your first bite before continuing with: “It’s almost like-.”

“A minty snickers bar?” he offers up with a quirk of an eyebrow. 

“That’s exactly it!” you cry out with joy. 

He smiles proudly, “Yeah, it’s a nice dish.”

“So how long have you been doing this? Cooking…? Or have you done Pastry the whole time?” you ask, digging into the rest of the gelee. 

“About fourteen years… give or take. Started when I was a kid… just washing dishes… was a bit of a rebel…. The kitchen gave me a place to land,” he shares with an ease and charm that makes you feel like you could tell him all of your secrets. 

“Yeah, no I-, I get that,” you agree, enjoying your second bite of Luca’s shiso dish. 

“Gave my mum a little peace of mind. That’s for sure. Don’t think I was an easy kid to raise,” he continues as you listen. 

“Didn’t start pastry till about three years ago or so. Went mostly the fine dining route… worked my way up to sous position at a really great place, but wasn’t interested in moving up the ranks in that regard. Decided it was time to try something different.”

You nod with respect for his decision for change. 

“Where’d you grow up?” you ask curiously, watching him wipe down the pastry bench with a clean towel as he begins to prepare for a second dish.

“London,” he answers. 

“Oh! I uh, lived there for a few years, actually,” you say, sharing a familiar smile with him. 

“What about you? Where’d you grow up? And how long have you been cooking for?” he asks, shifting the focus of the conversation to you. 

“Boston,” you reply. 

He hums in response, “I’ve never been. What was that like?”

“Boston is great. Good weather, great food, interesting people. ‘S actually where I learned how to cook. My mom’s a single parent so… I spent a lot of time at our neighbor’s house… and their restaurant. They still own this Italian restaurant that’s like… been in the family for a hundred or so years and I practically grew up there,” you explain, sharing parts of yourself – of your story – in return. 

“Oh yeah?” he asks, an amused look on his face. 

“Yeah, we hung out there a lot when we were kids – me and my best friend. Then when I was old enough to work, I marched in one day after school and pitched myself for a job, demanding that I cook and that I’d accept nothing less” you reminisce trying your best to recreate the bold confidence of your fifteen year old self.

Luca chuckles in response, “That’s incredible,”

“I was a rather precocious child,” you add, laughing with a fondness for that previous version of you.

He smiles, “Yeah, I know the feeling well.”

Luca clears his throat, pulling out a clean bowl and beginning to plate something new. He explains that this one is a savory dish, starting with a fermented sourdough cracker as he walks you through the flavor profiles of each component, mentioning that it’s got to be one of his favorites on the menu so far. 

“I’m up for sharing if you are,” you suggest, in response to his last comment. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

You watch as Luca picks up another fork, digging into the dish with you. There’s an intimacy that comes from sharing a meal with someone – eating off the same plate, enjoying the same sensory experience, quite literally breaking bread – that makes Luca feel less and less like a stranger to you with each bite. You still can’t believe that he’s done this for you – that you’re here – and while you’re not sure why, you lean into a softness, allowing yourself to enjoy it while it’s happening. 

“Did you go to culinary school?” you ask him, over your last few shared bites.

“No, what about you?” he replies quickly. 

“No, I actually majored in business,” you answer, earning a hum from him. 

“Huh…” he sounds, with a raise of both eyebrows in surprise. 

“I know…” you groan, with a playful eye roll more so directed at yourself. “My first career was in finance… account management. Then I did the whole investment thing for a while… it was uh… really sexy stuff, I know.”

“You don’t strike me as someone who would’ve been happy doing something like that,” Luca observes, only surprising you a little that he’d be able to pick up on something like that so quickly. 

“Oh no. I wasn’t. I was miserable,” you echo in agreement. You take a breath, and a beat, before explaining. “It was more of… a wish fulfillment thing, I think. For my mom. I mean, it wasn’t my dream, by any means. But having stability was important to me, to my mom…. To my partner at the time.”

“And now?”

You wait a beat before answering. 

“And now… I’m just… figuring it out as I go.”

Your eyes flicker over the ‘every second counts’ sign that hangs on the wall while Luca busses the table once again, sharing that he’s got one more dish he’d like for you to try. You settle into a quiet rhythm as you sit back and allow him to provide an experience unlike any other you’ve had. You watch him carefully as he moves around the kitchen prepping for his last dish, taking in each and every tattoo visible on his arms. 

“Every second counts,” you speak out loud, returning your attention to the sign. 

“Yeah,” he nods, turning his attention to where you’re looking. “It’s uh-, something an old head chef of mine used to say. Really stuck with me.”

You nod in agreement as he pulls out a final dessert plate. 

“‘S actually what brought me to you,” he continues, in reference to the sign. “An old friend of mine called me for a favor. He’s opening a new restaurant and wanted their patissier to come stage here for a bit.” 

Luca begins plating his final dish using a few pastry rings, a clean pair of tweezers, and berries left macerating in a deli container with a laser focus that you’d expect from a pastry chef at a two-starred Michelin restaurant.

“We got into… this whole conversation about inspiration. How to find it. Where to find it. I told him he’s gotta be open… to everything. To things out there. That that’s how you succeed in this industry – how you set yourself apart,” Luca adds, impressing you with his precision of plating while sharing something so personal. 

“It reminded me that… it’s been a while since I’ve opened myself up to… well… anything outside of this place.”

“No, yeah, I totally get it. It’s easy to get lost in it – it being the four walls of your restaurant. Running a restaurant is relentless. One minute you put your head down and the next…” you empathize with him. 

“It’s three weeks later.”

“Yeah.”

“Which leads me to why I asked you here,” Luca segways, as he finishes his final dish. “I ran into a little bit of writers’ block – or rather, chef’s block, if you will – working on our Summer menu.” 

He presents the dish towards you, earning a gasp from you as you take in the stunning creation.

“Knew I needed to get out of here for a beat. Get out of my head. Get some new perspectives.”

“Is this for your new menu?” you ask, your eyes devouring the cake-based dish first. 

“Maybe… just something I’ve been working on – something that’s been floating around in my head a while,” he shrugs, watching you carefully as he tries to search your face for any kind of reaction. 

You dig your fork into the spongey, tea-soaked, circular layered cake, raising it to your lips and immediately finding pure joy as you taste it. 

Yuzu. Earl Grey. The cake is almost like a lady finger – tiramisu-like in the way that it eats – filled with a yuzu curd in between each layer of cake, then finished with what you can only assume is a sort of black sesame dust that he’s sifted over top of the dish. 

“Woah,” is all that comes out of your mouth.

“Yeah?” Luca questions, unable to hide the smile that spreads across his lips. 

“Yeah uh… Why does this feel so familiar? It’s like… you’re reading my mind with this one,” you ask, your eyes wide savor each note. 

“Well, it should. Feel familiar, that is. It’s inspired by you,” Luca explains, treading carefully around the last few words. 

“What do you-?” you begin to ask, before the words leave you. 

You half expect him to tell you he’s joking, and you can’t tell whether or not it’s a blush running across his high cheekbones that you spot, as he turns his attention elsewhere. He begins moving around the kitchen, eager to begin cleaning up after himself to recover from the sheer vulnerability he feels from sharing this with you. 

Was this why he’d invited you here? 

“Luca,” you say, your words stopping him as he turns back to you. 

“What’s up?” he asks, so casually, as if he hadn’t just called you his muse. 

"All of this... you did all of this for me…. Why?" you muster up the courage to ask, the words falling out of your mouth with a weight you don’t expect. 

He takes a beat, afraid of coming on too strong, considering you’ve only just met, yet wanting nothing more than to tell you the truth.

Luca sighs, choosing the latter, before laying it all out on the table.

 "Your food is inspired and I don’t think I’ve had something this inspired in a long time,” he explains before pausing. “Your passion for Italian cuisine… weaving in the bits and pieces of yourself and approaching it from different culinary perspectives? You inspired me.” 

He takes another beat. 

“And as chefs, this is what we do. We feed each other." 

You’re speechless, but you can feel yourself nodding in agreement as you mumble out the most reverent ‘thank you’ that you can muster. You can feel it – that this is the beginning of, well, you're not quite sure what – but whatever it is, you're glad he walked into your restaurant however many weeks ago.

“Luca?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for sharing this with me.”

He nods, one corner of his mouth turning up into a smile. 

“Cheers.”

[autisticlalna]

hm.

ruby stream today was fun! but there was... some weird. and by weird i mean lore hints.

the one that came up a few times is that their armor has new names! their elytra is back to being Lightning Rod (Rue misplaced it for a while), but the sillier names its armor had, and Rue's work uniform, is now Past, Never, Present, and Future.

there was also a comment made about how she was using very specific colors to trim them with. Past, the helmet, is blue. Present, the pants, is purple. Future, the boots, are red. and Never is untrimmed on suggestion from chat, but was going to be either black or white.

sighs. opens Clocktower transcript.

Sapphire: It’s the… past. The future. The now… and the never. Four concepts of time! Just like the four directions. North, south, east, and west. You should know, don’t you.

once again: Cherruby's getting put in the time blender. that's been noted for a while now, but now that he's awake again we're getting more confirmation on it.

there was also a couple other things! Anathra showed Ruby and Doovid around Icekea's break room, and Ruby paid a lot of attention to the clock and compass on display for decoration purposes. especially the clock. normal Ruby behavior at this point tbh, but worth taking note of.

what isn't Ruby behavior is... whatever happened between them and Dr. Tube when they briefly showed up to stop Ruby and Doovid from clowning around in Acacia. first we get Ruby staring at them and saying they remind her of someone-- this could be the whole clone thing, but Ruby immediately in-character clocked them as being Tube, not Trog, and being mysterious about them reminding her of Trog would be weird considering they're both very aware of each other by now.

after fae leaves is when we get the part i don't know what to do with yet besides gesture at it.

Bye Tube! Much love! Ah... Never gonna say b- uh, got to say bye to my own Tube. Hm.

look. Cherruby has been weird ever since che got untubed. there's whatever happened with Endbyco on Avid's stream (link includes the convo abt Sapphire but not Endbyco being sus about "normal kingdom behavior"), there's whatever happened with cher and Yellow in Viking's episode, and now there's this entire interaction with Dr. Tube. Cherruby being weird is very "fork found in kitchen" at this point but, man, what is going on.

now im thinking about my original theory way at the start where Cherruby's mimicry is bleedover from other timelines where she was partnered up with other people. there's definitely some kind of timeline bleed with what's going on between her and Viking. this feels more advanced than that, though.

[the-bad-batch-baroness]

Where's Mommy?

Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Part 20

Summary: Wolffe's wife suddenly dies, leaving him a single father in the middle of a war.

Pairing: Wolffe x Lilith Sestri (OFC)

Characters: Wolffe, Cara (child OFC)

Tags & Warnings: heavy angst, mention of death, off-screen death, spousal death, grief, hurt/comfort, family fluff, funeral

Word Count: 1.4k

Author's Note: Happy New Year everyone! I can't believe we're already on Part 20 😱 I also can't believe it took a whole year to get here 😅 I'd like to say we're half-way through and I'll finish it up this year, but every chapter I plan magically turns into three, so we'll see. This chapter is definitely wayyyyy better than the last one. I got my mojo back. As always, please enjoy 💚

Beta: @/beating-a-dead-plot

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The next morning, Wolffe woke before dawn and quietly rummaged through his box of personal belongings. His array of creative attempts to procure more credits the previous day had all failed miserably, but aside from flagrant begging, he wasn't ready to give up. While he drifted off to sleep, an idea had flashed across his mind–a last-ditch effort to secure his daughter's safety and well-being while he was gone. Looking for it in the pitch black of the room proved difficult, but when his finger slid across the smooth surface, he breathed a sigh of relief.

With the object in hand, he scooted across the floor to lean his back against the wall, raising his knees to rest his arms against them. As much as he wanted to admire the ring's golden sheen, the room was much too dark, so he settled for closing his eyes and rolling it between his fingers. His mind could still see it, recreate its shape, color, and glint, and even read the inscription on the inside as his fingers smoothed over the engraving. It was like seeing it in daylight under a microscope, every detail and imperfection his mind found and relayed back to him.

That was something clones were good at–finding their way in the dark, finding things in the dark, finding each other in the dark–and yet, ironically, they weren't born from the dark like everyone else in the universe. While other creatures were birthed from wombs, eggs, or other dark places, clones were birthed from clear tubes under the harshest of sterile white lights, and it was only through rigorous training that they learned to understand the dark. Clones might've been abominations of nature from birth, but they still died in darkness just like everyone else.

Wolffe leaned his head back against the wall and took a deep breath through his nose. Death wasn't something he normally dwelt on, but ever since his wife died, it was the only thing his mind would settle on. The multitude of thoughts was like waves crashing on a beach, slowly eroding his mental barricades and pulling pieces of himself back into the abyss. He had to get a grip or someone was going to die on his watch. Wolffe softly snorted and shook his head. There it was again–death. It wouldn't leave him alone.

He slipped the ring onto his finger and absentmindedly began rotating it with his thumb. Regardless of what his wife told him, he still maintained that it was not a nervous habit, and argued that it felt weird and that rotating it helped it not feel weird. His wife always rolled her eyes at the explanation but never pushed him to stop the habit. After all, it wasn't his fault that he couldn't wear it long enough to get used to it being there, and if he was being honest, it would most likely always feel foreign, which is how he convinced himself it was okay to sell it.

On his walk back from the nanny service, he had passed by a thrift shop with a bright neon sign on the window stating they purchased precious metals and jewelry. It had only been a peripheral glance, and his mind had been so preoccupied with getting back to the Temple to relieve Comet that it didn't connect. Luckily, his mind remembered, and that became his big plan–to sell the rings for the credits he needed to pay the nanny. Convincing himself to sell his ring wasn't difficult, however, convincing himself to sell his wife's ring was proving more difficult.

He patted his front pants pocket to find her ring nestled safely inside and then smoothed the pad of his finger around the edge in a continuous circle. It was so much smaller than his. So much so that he couldn't fit it on his pinkie finger if he tried, but then again, so was she. The size difference became a running gag from early on in their relationship and he took every chance he could to poke fun at her for it, with love, of course. Wolffe felt a pain shoot across his chest and, like a freight train out of nowhere, more memories rushed in.

Sometimes he would hold things up high, just out of reach to where she had to jump to try and get them. He'd laugh and she'd be fuming. Other times, he'd sit on the throw blanket on the couch, and she'd tug and tug to try and get it free from his weight, but she never could. He'd pretend to not be paying attention, but still smile at her struggling. They were both painfully fond memories, but ones where he could easily see the gold band shimmer on her finger as she tried so hard to get the upper hand. Could he sell it?

Sentimentality never befitted a clone, especially not a clone commander. Yes, he was fond of certain people, places, and things, but never fond enough to hold on so tightly his knuckles went white. Loss was a part of war. He lost things every rotation–battles, civilians, planets, clones–and if he had an emotional breakdown every time, he'd be decommissioned. The Malevolence incident never broke him, and he wasn't about to break now. This decision couldn't be a matter of fondness. It had to be a matter of duty to his daughter, and that was it.

He didn't need a ring to remind him of his wife or what they had together for such a brief time. Even if he didn't have Cara, a walking, living, breathing piece of his wife, he'd still never forget her, because he placed her memories neatly inside a box and tucked them away next to another box on the proverbial shelf of his mind where everything was arranged in alphabetical order for quick location. Was he happy that Maria sat next to Manuals? Not entirely, because every time he reached for Manuals, he'd see her in his peripheral vision and be reminded of what he lost.

While Wolffe was well-buried in his thoughts, a thin strip of yellow-orange light appeared on the floor next to him from the window above where he was sitting, alerting him that the sun was rising and it was time to get a move on. He removed his wedding ring and slipped it into his pocket where it settled next to his wife's ring. At least the rings could be together. Wolffe huffed at the sentimental thought and quickly picked himself up off the floor. The rings belonged in the box now, not in his pocket, and that's all he needed to keep telling himself to get through this.

Cara struggled with being awoken before the sun was fully up, which was no surprise to Wolffe. It had become their new normal–she'd whine and he'd sigh. At least with her awake he had a distraction from his thoughts and could focus on what he needed to accomplish–sell the rings and pay the nanny. It didn't matter a whole lot to him whether Cara liked the nanny or not, or for that matter if he did because neither of them had a choice. She'd learn to like her, and he'd only have to deal with her when he was back from deployment.

However, getting Cara presentable enough to meet the nanny was something that he had to deal with now, and for reasons he could not explain, she was being fussy. She didn't want to get out of bed. She didn't want a bath. She didn't want to put clothes on. She didn't want her hair to be brushed. Every single part of the process was a fight, and every cry, scream, kick, and flail was another chip knocked off of Wolffe's patience. It was like the world was suddenly ending if, Maker forbid, she put her shoes on. Of all the days, why did it have to be this one?

Finally, after thirty minutes of wrestling and arguing, they could leave the Temple. Did she want to go? No. Wolffe was baffled by her logic. She was so eager to go out with him in the morning, but then all of a sudden going anywhere with him was the purest form of torture. He bet his wife never had to deal with this level of insubordination. Maybe it was just a father thing, or maybe she went to bed too late, or maybe it was a million other reasons. Regardless, they were leaving, even if he had to drag her, they were going.

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Masterlist

AO3

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[daedalusdavinci]

18. "These are vintage!" "Those are ugly." for riddlerbat ?

send me a prompt!

The Batman was fussy. It was something Edward had seen before in his meticulous planning, all too similar to Edward's own need to have everything go just right. He was no different out of the suit, with his black hair neatly combed and gelled, his tie knotted just so, his three-piece suit all matching down to the smallest details. Edward would usually find it admirable, but when Bruce turned it on him, it was fussy.

Anger was not a good look on Edward. His face went ruddy, splotches of pink clashing with his freckles as he bristled against Bruce's bluntness. "These are vintage!" he cried, gesturing at his beautiful, hand-restored suit. It was a lovely, muted shade of green, and quite a reasonable downgrade from his usual showiness. It had a more vintage fit that Edward had grown quite fond of, a way off from the tight suits of the red carpet, but in a way that he thought was flattering and eccentric. More than once, he had thought of repurposing the suit over the years for his less-than-legal activities, but had never been able to bring himself to draw the question marks on it after all the work he'd put in.

"Those are ugly," Bruce said flatly. He was unmovable, blunt and deadpan as ever as he held out the hanger with his preferred choice. It was a dull black, utterly without color apart from the emerald tie he had acquiesced to. It was a closer match to Bruce's own classy style, but Bruce's was a far nicer cut. His suit was dark grey and white with crisp lines and angles, highlighted by baby blues to bring out his eyes. The insult did not go unnoticed.

"You have no appreciation for style," Edward said, folding his arms with a huff.

"You have no appreciation for subtlety. This is not an event where you want to be showing off your checkered past."

"Why? Ashamed of me, Dark Knight?" Edward spat.

Bruce's jaw set. He shut his eyes, loosening it again with a slow breath. "Edward. We're here to investigate. Not to show off Bruce Wayne's latest acquisition. That will be a very different setting, in very different company, and I promise, you can wear all the green and make all the snippy remarks you want then."

That gave Edward pause. "I wasn't aware there would be a showing off."

There. Just the hint of a smile, pulling at the corner of Bruce's mouth. The real ones were always reluctant, like something he never meant to let slip.

Just like that, the mood shifted. Edward's anger and offense lost its footing, giving way to a budding, prideful delight. He tried to hold onto the anger, to not give in so easily, but Edward had always lived for the moments when the Batman saw him and smiled. When Bruce offered a hand, Edward took it, fool that he was, drawn in so easily by a teasing smile and calloused fingers.

"I'll set you loose," Bruce promised, that hint of trouble Edward loved so much in the low, sly tone. "At a party much, much more extravagant than this one."

"So I can poke and prod at all your socialite friends and report the juiciest stories back to you?" Edward asked.

Bruce hummed, hand folding at his waist, pulling him in. Edward's fingers slipped along his bicep, his jaw, tracing the all-too-familiar line of it as Bruce's breath touched his cheek, eyes lidded, voice soft. "Just wear the monkeysuit tonight. We'll make up for it next time."

"Next time," Edward echoed, all his intellect stuttering over Bruce's lips so close to his own. It felt unfair, having the focus of prettyboy Bruce Wayne so close, slowly going pink under the burn of those blue eyes that had stared out from so many magazine covers. The Batman had always been too good at catching him. But then, he had been the one to actually catch the Batman- and Gotham's most eligible bachelor. He had caught Bruce, and Bruce would have everyone know.

Edward's thumb swept across Bruce's cheek, a smile of his own twisting across his lips. Bruce intended to show him off. He was someone worth showing off. "I'm going to make you regret that."

"I'm sure you'll try," Bruce agreed. But his kiss was no less fond.

In the end, Edward supposed he could wear the suit after all.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Black and White

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 9k

Includes- One of my favorite fics I have ever written even though it's so sad, Heavy themes, death, shooting, angst, sadness, afterlife- kinda

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000 @amyz78 @blueie-things

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist

Ten years ago

J POV

I'm nervous

It's my first makeup gig and I don't want to fuck up if I wanna be hired

This company BigHit hired me as a stylist for their new boy band

If I do a good job, they'll hire me permanently

I need this job

Looking at the small paper I have, I call out, "Yoongi?"

One of the seven guys gets up and walks over to me

I turn to get his clothes

"You can put these on and when you're done, I'll fix them", I say as I turn around

"Yeah ok", he answers

When our eyes meet, something inside me shifts

Suddenly, my vision changes and I see what people call colors

Not the usual "black and white" that I normally see

His eyes change color, his hair, his skin, his clothes.

Vibrant colors and shades that I wish I knew the names of

I glance around me and I see the rest of the room is in color too

That means...

He's my soulmate

I look back at him and he's staring at me in shock

"I found you", he whispers

I nod, "You did"

I take the time to really look at him and my god he's beautiful

I reach out and touch his face, making sure he's real

He holds on to my wrist that's touching him

"You're real", he says

"Yeah. You're real too"

"You're eyes are beautiful. I wish I knew what color they are"

I feel my face heat, "Thank you"

He smiles at me and I can't breathe

It's gorgeous

"You're mine", I say, not knowing where this possessiveness is coming from

I just know that he's mine

He nods, "I am. Always. And you're mine"

"Always", I answer

Pulling me to him, he kisses me and I'm so happy

--------------------------------

Present

J POV

"Yoongi! You're all sweaty!", I laugh as he comes straight to me, pulling me into his arms

"Yeah but you love it jagi", he smiles

"Yeah yeah", I laugh, then kiss him

"How's baby boy?", he asks, touching my belly

"Kicking hard", I answer

I'm pregnant and just turned seven months

Yoongi is so happy and so excited

He was over the moon when he found out we're having a boy

He would of been just as happy with a girl but I know that a boy is always wanted at some point

And he can't wait to be a dad

"I have some time before I have to go back on stage. Tae's solo, Jin's solo and then the vocal line is doing "The truth untold""

"Wow that's almost fifteen minutes!", I tease

He laughs out loud, "Yeah"

I take his hand and lead him to the clothing rack

I hand him his clothes for the next part of the concert

"Change first baby"

He nods and takes the clothes

Once he's changed, I fix the clothes, then he leads me to a couch

He rubs his shoulder and I ask, "It hurts again baby?"

He nods, "Yeah. It always does during concerts"

I stand up and move to sit behind him

I start to massage his shoulder

"You don't have to jagi"

"Oh stop. If it helps you feel better then I'm going to do it. Plus I know you love it"

Laughing, he says, "Yeah I do. You know me so well"

I do

And he knows me so well

We spent every day of the last ten years together

We don't hide anything from each other

After that first kiss, we couldn't be separated

BigHit wasn't happy that he found his soulmate so quickly since it's better for idols to be single but there wasn't anything they could do

They allowed me to move into the dorm with him

He told the managers that either he moves in my apartment or I move into the dorm

Since BTS just debuted, he needed to stay at the dorm

So I moved in too

A year later, he asked me to marry him and we've been married for nine years

I love him with everything in me

I'd do anything for him

And he loves me just as much and would do anything for me

We've both proven it ten times over in the last seven years

BTS became huge, a worldwide sensation and I've supported him every step of the way, encouraging him and doing anything I can to help him

Yoongi bought an apartment and we've lived there for the last two years

And now we're having a baby

My life is perfect

--------------

"C'mon Yoongi", Namjoon calls

"Already?", he sighs

"It's ok naekkeo. The concert is almost done and then we can go home and snuggle all night"

He smiles his beautiful smile at me, "That sounds perfect jagi"

I smile at him, then he pulls me to him in a soft kiss

His kisses are the best

"I love you Jo", he says, when he pulls away

"I love you Yoongi", I tell him

"See you in a little bit?"

I nod, "Can't wait"

He smiles, gives me a quick kiss and then he walks towards the stage

"God again?", I whine, "Baby boy you need to stop making mommy pee all the time."

I just went to the bathroom five minutes ago after Yoongi went on stage

I stand up from the couch and start walking to the bathroom

Right before I get there, I hear screaming

And to my horror, my vision changes, the colors fading away, black and white creeping in

No

No no no

That only happens when someones soulmate dies

"Yoongi!", I yell and turn around, running towards the stage

He can't be dead

He can't

He's ok

Everyone back stage is running around, not paying attention to me

I'm able to run up the stairs and on to the stage

I look around frantically, seeing fans being rushed out of the stadium

"Yoongi!", I yell

The guys are crowded around one area of the stage

I run towards them, screaming Yoongi's name

Hobi glances up at me, tears pouring down his eyes

He stands up and starts towards me

"Don't Jo", he says, stopping me from getting closer

"Let me go Hobi", I cry

"No Jo. Don't. You don't want to see him like this"

Pure fear hits my body and I start shaking

"Hobi...let me go. I...let me go!", I yell

"Jo"

I pull away from him and he lets me go

When I get to the guys, I can't believe the horror I'm seeing

Yoongi on the floor, blood all over his chest and his eyes closed

"NO! YOONGI!", I scream, dropping to the floor next to him

"Yoongi, wake up. Wake up!", I cry, shaking his shoulders

But he doesn't open his eyes

He doesn't smile at me, he doesn't answer

This can't be happening

"Yoongi please, wake up"

"Jo...he's gone", Namjoon chokes out

"No! No! Yoongi, naekkeo come back. Wake up! Don't do this baby. Please Yoongi", I sob hysterically

He can't be gone

I need him, he's my everything

We're going to have a baby

He's going to be a dad

He has to be here

"Yoongi!"

Putting my arms around him, I hold him up in my arms, leaning my forehead on his then gripping his hand tightly

I pray that he squeezes my hand back, but he doesn't

"Don't leave me Yoongi. Please baby. I need you. Your son needs you. Open your eyes. Please naekkeo come back", I cry

I can't- the pain I feel inside is killing me

Why did this happen?

Why was he taken from me?

We were so happy, our life was perfect

We're starting a family

Oh god, our son will never know him

He'll never see his father

Yoongi will never see his boy

He won't be there when he's born, he won't be there to raise him

This is a nightmare and I just want to wake up

"Please Yoongi, I love you. I love you so much. I need you Yoongi. Please come back", I beg him

But he doesn't move and my heart shatters

----------

After what seems like forever, Namjoon comes over to me and tells me, "Jo. The EMTs are here. They have to take Yoongi"

No

"No. They can't. He....he has to stay with me."

I can't let him go

If they take him, then it's all real

With him, I can pretend he's not gone

That's he's just sleeping

But if they take him....

My entire world ends

"Jo, they need to take him. They need to clean the blood away", he says gently

"No Joonie. No. If they take him....", I sob

"What Jo? What is it?"

"Then he's really gone. I can't....I can't..."

A person comes over and kneels next to me

"Hi", he says softly

I shake my head

"Is this your boyfriend?", he asks

"My husband. My soulmate", I choke out

"I see. I promise, we'll take good care of him"

"No. I need him. He has to stay with me. He can't go. He's...he's going to be a dad soon"

"I understand. But I'll take him just for awhile, to clean the blood off him. Then you'll be able to see him again ok?"

"I...I can't...I.."

"Jo, it's only for a little while", Jin say softly

No it's not

They're going to take him away and then he has to be buried in the ground

If they take him, it'll be forever

I'll never see him again

I don't know how to handle that

"Please", the EMT says, reaching out to Yoongi

I look back at Yoongi's beautiful face, memorizing every single about him

I gently run my fingers in his hair

"I love you Yoongi. So much naekkeo. Forever."

I lean down and kiss him softly, tears pouring down my face

I look up at the EMT and nod

He motions for his co-workers to come over

"I promise he's in good hands", he tells me

I just nod because there's nothing else I can do

He gently takes Yoongi from me and I watch them put him on the stretcher, wheeling him away

He's gone

My life is over

---------

I don't want to get up

Today is Yoongi's funeral

After he was taken from me, the guys brought me home

They wanted me to stay at the dorm but I didn't want to

I haven't cried so much as I have the last two days

I found out that Yoongi was being brought to Daegu to be buried

No one knows but me and the guys

Yoongi's mom called me and told me I can stay in her house

I just agreed

It's like I'm going through the motions- packing clothes, getting on a plane

And all the while I feel like I'm dying

I hate seeing in black and white

It just reminds me that Yoongi was taken from me

I miss him so much

I can't do anything but lay in bed, staring at a picture of him

I found out what happened the next day after his death

During Mic Drop, some crazy fan in the first row, pulled out a gun when Yoongi got close to him and shot him right in the chest five times

I actually saw what happened because some sick assholes put it on the internet

And it was sent to me by an unknown number

Whoever took the video was close to the shooter and in the front row

I'm guessing it was a fan, just videoing the concert

Yoongi is standing there, smiling and doing the choreography, when suddenly loud bangs are heard and his chest is covered in red blood

The complete look of pain and shock on his face kills me every time I remember

He falls backward, people screaming everywhere and the guys running to him

The video ends there

The piece of shit who killed my baby, was overpowered by security and is in prison

He was going to shoot the rest of the guys too because he hates BTS

He's sentenced to death

I'm glad but it doesn't bring Yoongi back

And that's the one thing in the world that I want but will never happen

I can't stop crying, looking down at Yoongi

The second I walked into the funeral home and saw him in the casket, I lost it

I collapsed on the floor, sobbing hysterically

I couldn't walk, couldn't get up, couldn't see

Yoongi's dad, along with Namjoon and Hobi, got me up and brought me to a chair

Right in front of his casket

I was able to calm down about twenty minutes later but the tears haven't stopped

I finally made it to his casket and I haven't left since then

I can't

I don't want to hear people saying I'm sorry

It means nothing

Not when my world is over

Holding his hand, I gently touch his face, wishing he'd open his eyes and smile at me

"I miss you naekkeo. I don't know how I'm supposed to live without you"

I really don't

How I'm supposed to wake up and him not being there?

How I'm supposed to go through my day without texting him?

How am I supposed to never to hear his voice again or hear him tell me he loves me?

Never feel his arms around me, his kiss, anything

How he'll never see his son, hear him talk, see him grow up

It breaks me every time

I run my fingers in his hair, just looking at him

We're going to the cemetery soon

Once the casket closes, I'll never see him in person again

Only through pictures and videos that I know will kill me to watch

I want to stay with him as long as I can

---------

"Ready Joanne?", Yoongi's mom asks as she comes over to me

"Never", I whisper

"I know. But we have to go to the cemetery now", she says softly

I look at her and nod

She's crying too and I remember she lost her son

I sit down, watching as everyone who came, go to his casket to say goodbye

When the guys each get there turn, they cry hysterically too

They're his family too and they love him

Then his mother and father go

His mother breaks down, his father holding her up

Then it's my turn

And I don't know how to do this

I slowly walk up to him

Holding his hand, stroking his hair for the last time, I talk to him

"I love you baby. More than anything. I'm going to miss you so much. I promise to take care of our boy. He'll know who you are, I'll make sure he does. I hope you're happy where you are naekkeo, in peace and no pain. You made my life so happy and you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you Yoongi."

I lean down and kiss his forehead

I can't say goodbye

That word can't pass my lips

I just can't

I force myself to let go of him and I watch while the funeral home workers close his casket

Forever

----------

Moving hair from my face, I put the books in the box

I'm back in Seoul but I'm moving

To Daegu

At the cemetery, I lost it again when they lowered his casket

Jimin and Jungkook held me up while I cried

I had a panic attack after and Hobi and Tae took me away from Yoongi's grave until I calmed down

After the cemetery, I went back to Yoongi's parents house

They talked to me and asked me to move to Daegu

They want to be in their grandson's life

I was going to move there anyway when I found out Yoongi was going to be buried in Daegu

I can't live in Seoul while he's in Daegu

I stayed in Daegu for two extra days, looking for an apartment and going to Yoongi's grave

I found a two bedroom apartment close to his parents, then came back to Seoul

So I'm back in mine and Yoongi's apartment, packing everything

I'm not throwing out any of his things

They're coming with me

All of his studio equipment is coming with me too

Namjoon and Hobi agreed to pack everything there and ship it to my new apartment

The guys decided to disband BTS

They said it won't be the same without Yoongi and they don't want to continue without him

I sigh and walk back to my bookshelf, grabbing another stack of books

I've been packing for the last three days

I packed Yoongi's stuff first

It was so hard and I cried the whole time

But now, the packing is taking my mind off of things, for awhile anyway

I need to be finished by next week

I sold the apartment and the new owner wants to move in by next week

Since I was married to Yoongi, all his money, his assets went to me when he died

So I'm rich

Like I give a fuck

I'd rather be poor with Yoongi alive than being rich without him

If I could give up all the money to get him back I would in a heartbeat

Nothing can take his place

-------

After I finish packing for the day, I go to bed

But I can't sleep

All I think about is Yoongi

I sleep in one of his shirts every night

I used to do that anyway and even more when I got pregnant

He liked huge shirts and they fit over my belly

I turn to my nightstand and stare at the picture of Yoongi I keep there

He's smiling so wide and looks so happy

I took it the day I told him I was pregnant

His first reaction was to smile and I had to take the picture

"I miss you", I whisper, tears falling, "Why did you have to leave? I can't do this without you. I can't live without you."

The pain takes over again and I feel like I can't breathe

"Yoongi, why? I need you. Come back naekkeo. Please come back. I can't-", I sob

This is pure torture

The agony is there all day everyday

It's so intense all the time, even when my mind is occupied

I know that if it wasn't for the baby, I'd have taken my own life already

To be with him, wherever he is

"I love you Yoongi. I wish you were here"

I close my eyes, crying myself to sleep

---------

"Hi jagi", Yoongi says

I blink and look around

We're in our room at home

And he's here

"Yoongi? Is...is it really you?"

He nods, "Yeah jagi. It's me"

I'm so confused

"But...I saw you...in the casket...did you come back?", I ask hopefully

He shakes his head sadly, "No jagi, I can't come back"

The familiar pain I've been living with roars back to life

"Then how..."

"It's a dream jagi. And I can only come this once"

A dream?

I remember crying in bed at home

I guess I feel asleep

"Why did you leave Yoongi? I can't live without you", I cry

He comes closer and pulls me into a hug

"I didn't want to Jo. I never wanted to leave you or our baby. I wanted to stay with you forever, see our baby be born, raise him, have more babies and grow old with you. But for some reason it didn't work out that way", he whispers

I sob harder, clinging on to him

"How am I supposed to do everything without you? Have the baby without you, raise the baby without you. You're supposed to be there with me."

"I know baby but I know you can do everything. You can have our son and raise him. I know you're going to be an amazing mom. I always knew that."

I hear his words but I don't want to do this without him

I don't want to be in a world where he isn't

"I can't"

"Yes you can. You're my strong girl Jo. You always have been"

"Yoongi....I miss you so much. I need you"

I can't stop crying

He's right here, why can't he just come back with me?

Why can't he stay?

"I miss you too jagi. I'm sorry I'm not there with you."

He moves back a little, lifting my face to his

"But Jo, I'll always be with you. Even thought you can't see me I'm there. I was from the second I died. I was with you when you went to my funeral, when you went to look for an apartment, while you're packing. And I'll always be there with you and our baby. You can always talk to me and I'll hear you. I'll always watch over both of you. I promise"

I nod

I hate that I can't see him, touch him or talk to him but knowing he's going to be with me makes me feel a little bit better

"I love you Yoongi", I tell him

"I love you Joanne. I'll always love you. And I'll wait for you until it's time for you to come ok? Then we can really be together forever", he says

I want that so much

I want to be with him now and it's tearing me apart that I can't

That he's here and I have to be in the real world

"I don't want to wait", I sob

"I know jagi. I don't want to wait either but it's not your time yet. It's killing me to not be with you. I hate that I can see you but I can't touch you or talk to you. Seeing you cry and in so much pain rips me apart Jo. I want to make it better but I can't. I just have to wait for you. And I will. I swear I will jagi. I love you"

"I love you Yoongi. Always"

"Always", he promises

He leans down and kisses me softly

My eyes fly open and I sit up fast in bed

"Yoongi?", I call looking around

"Yoongi!"

He's not here

It was a dream

He's really not here

I burst into tears

I remember everything he said, how it felt to have him hold me again, felt his kiss again, how his voice sounded

And I want him back

I didn't get enough kisses, enough time in his arms, enough of him

He was torn away from me and I can't deal with this

He's not coming back

And he's not coming back in my dreams again

He said he could only come once

I lay back down and cry into my pillow, calling his name

-------------------------------

2 months later

"Push!", the doctor says

I yell as I push hard

The pain in my lower stomach is so intense

"I see his head, push again"

Fuck, I'm so tired, I'm so sweaty and I just want to rest

But I need to get my baby out

I breathe in and push hard, a scream coming out the more I push

I've been in labor for thirty hours and I want him to come out

"Again"

"C'mon baby", I whisper and push again

Shouting and crying I push more

God it hurts so much

"His head is almost out, keep pushing"

I breath in and push, then breath in again and push harder

"Aaaahhhhhhhhh", I scream

"His head is out. One more Joanne"

I gather my strength and push once more

"He's out!", the doctor says

I collapse against the chair, breathing hard

I hear crying and my son is put on my chest

I look down at him and I burst into tears

I love him so much already and he looks just like Yoongi

Everything about him is all Yoongi

"Hi Yoongi. I love you baby boy.", I say, stroking his cheek, "I promise to keep you safe, always"

"Ms. Min, we have to take the baby for his check up. We'll bring him to your room when he's ready ok?"

I don't want to let him go but I nod and they take him

"He looks just like Yoongi", Hobi says

I nod, looking down at my baby boy in my arms

He has Yoongi's face, his mouth, his cheeks, his eyes, his soft hair

I remember the pictures of Yoongi as a baby that his mom showed me once

My son looks almost identical to his father

"Did you pick a name?", Jimin asks

I nod, "Yoongi"

"You're naming him after Yoongi?", Jungkook asks

I nod

"That's amazing Jo. I know he'd love that", Jungkook replies

The guys were waiting outside of the delivery room with Yoongi's parents

I didn't want anyone with me while I gave birth

If Yoongi couldn't be there, I wanted to be alone

Yoongi's parents already came to see Yoongi and hold him

Now the guys are in the room

They each held my boy and now I have him back

He's wrapped in a blanket and he's asleep

I can't stop looking at him

I feel tears falling from my eyes

"Jo?", Namjoon asks

"He ssss...should be hhh..here", I choke out, "He should of been in the delivery room, seeing him be born. He should be here with me now, holding his son, picking his name, seeing him and being happy. He should be here to raise him."

I know Yoongi told me he's always with me

I know he was in the room when his son was born and I know he's here now

But I can't see him, he can't hold Yoongi, he can't talk to him

I'm so happy my baby is here but I'm so heartbroken at the same time

I can't help but cry

"I'm sorry Jo", Tae says softly while Jin comes to me and gives me a quick hug

They stay for another twenty minutes then they leave when Yoongi wakes up so I can feed him

After feeding him, he's still awake and he's looking around

"I love you.", I whisper to him, taking his little hand

His hand closes on my thumb and he holds on tightly

"You look just like your dad. He...he can't be here physically but he was there when you were born and he's here now."

I have to stop for a second before I start crying again

"Your dad loves you so much and he's going to watch over you your whole life. He's always going to be with you and you can talk to him whenever you want"

Yoongi closes his eyes, falling back asleep

I know I should put him in his crib but I can't

I'm terrified something will happen to him

Then I'll really be alone

"He's here baby. Your son is here", I whisper, talking to Yoongi, "I promise I'm going to protect him baby. I'm going to raise him to be a good man just like you. I swear he'll know who you are, how amazing his father was. He'll know how much you love him and me. He'll know you didn't want to leave."

I choke on the last words and start crying again

I don't know how I'm going to do this but I am going to raise my son just like Yoongi and I wanted to

--------------------------------

4 years later

"C'mon Yoonie, we're going", I call my son

He comes out of his room and over to me

"Where we go?", he asks

I kneel down to him, "We're going to see daddy"

A smile bursts on his face, "Yay daddy"

I smile and take his hand

"Ready?"

"Ready mommy"

We leave the apartment and start walking to the cemetery

It's been so hard raising Yoongi alone but I'm doing it along with the help of his grandparents

He's a good boy, he never gives me problems and he's very quiet and calm

And he loves to sleep

Just like his dad

The older he gets the more he looks like Yoongi

He's his spitting image

He knows who Yoongi is and that his dad is in "heaven"

I've shown him pictures and videos of Yoongi since he was a baby

I have pictures of Yoongi all over the apartment, some of him alone, some of him with me and some of him with BTS

When he was a year and a half he was able to identify the picture of Yoongi as daddy

He never asked me why his daddy wasn't with us until this year when he started school

He goes to Pre-K and they talk a lot about families

The only thing I told him was that his daddy lives in heaven and even though he can't see him, his daddy is always with him

I'm not telling him anything more until he's way older

He doesn't need to know his dad was murdered

I take Yoongi to the cemetery once a month

I go a few times a week while he's in school or at his grandparents house

I don't want to take him there all the time

It's not the place for a kid

We get to the gate and go inside

As we get closer to Yoongi's grave, Yoongi points and says, "There's daddy"

I nod, "Yeah Yoonie"

His parents picked a nice big headstone for the grave that includes a picture of him

His stone says, "Loving husband, father, brother and son. He shined brightly and brought so much happiness to the world"

Then there's a lyric he wrote for a song he made for me and Yoongi when he found out I was pregnant

"Hi daddy!", Yoongi exclaims as we get to his grave

Yoongi kisses his hand and puts it against the picture of Yoongi on the stone

I do the same, "Hi naekkeo"

I sit on the grass in front of the stone and Yoongi comes to sit in my lap

"I can talk mommy?"

"Yeah Yoonie, you can talk to daddy"

"Daddy, I draw a picture of you at school. Ms. Ara said to draw my family and I draw you, mommy and me"

I can't help it, tears start to fall while Yoongi talks to his dad

I cry silently, holding my son and looking at Yoongi's picture

I miss him more than anything

People lie

It doesn't get better as time goes on

It gets worse

I still hurt every single day and sometimes it still takes my breath away

Especially at night when I'm alone and he's all I think about

I talk to him all the time

Raising Yoongi without him is heartbreaking

Every time Yoongi does something big, I'm so proud and happy but also devastated that Yoongi wasn't there to see it

Things like when Yoongi started to roll over, sit up, smile, laugh, stand, walk, talk and everything now that he does in school

When I go to his school it hurts seeing the happy parents together

Aside from my son, my life sucks and I'm not happy

Spending time with my son makes me happy but when he's at school or at his grandparents or sleeping, I'm not happy

I still cry from missing Yoongi

All the time

I can't help it, the pain inside overwhelms me

I stayed home to raise Yoongi until this year

When he started school, I got a part time job at a makeup store stocking the products and working the cash register

I need something to do

I can't stay at home all day alone while he's in school

I don't need the money but I need to leave the apartment or I'll go crazy

The hours are flexible so I can drop Yoongi off at school and pick him up

Sometimes we go home, to the park, shopping, to Yoongi's parents house after school or on weekends

I'm so glad I have Yoongi's parents

They love me like their daughter and they'll do anything for me and of course Yoongi.

He's everything to them, just like he is to me

We still see the guys all the time too

They all have successful careers under BigHit

Namjoon is a popular solo rapper and producer

Hobi is also a popular solo rapper and dancer

Tae, Jimin and Jungkook started a vocal group called Maknaes and they're popular as well

Jin went back to acting and he's a famous actors, starring in an award winning kdrama as well as movies

Yoongi and I go to Seoul to see them or they come here to see us

He loves his uncle's and they love him too

Looking around I hate the way everything looks

One of the worst things that hurts me everyday is seeing in black and white

I had to ask Yoongi's parents to tell me what color my son's hair and eyes are

His hair is black, like Yoongi's natural hair color and his eyes are dark brown

My son's eyes are beautiful and sparkle

Just like Yoongi's

It kills me that I can't see the color

And it's a constant reminder that Yoongi is gone

"Sad mommy?", Yoongi asks

"Yeah Yoonie. I'm sad"

"You miss daddy?"

I nod, "Yeah, I miss daddy a lot"

He doesn't say anything, just turns in my lap and hugs me tightly

I hug my little boy tightly, happy that I at least have him and he's such a loving boy

"I love you mommy"

"I love you Yoonie. You're my best boy"

He lets go after a few minutes

I wipe my eyes, then smile at him, "Wanna get ice cream on the way home?"

"Yeah mommy. I want mint chip"

My smile gets wider, "That's my boy"

I can see Yoongi rolling his eyes at the fact that his son likes mint chocolate chip ice cream

But it's my favorite and he learned from me

I stand while Yoongi kisses his hand again and presses it to Yoongi's picture

"Bye daddy"

He waits for me while I do the same again and whisper, "Bye baby. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you"

I take Yoongi's hand again and we start walking

--------------------------------

13 years later

"Mom!", Yoongi yells running into the living room where I'm watching TV

"What's wrong?", I ask, looking to him, concerned

And a little bit scared

I can't help that

I'm always waiting for something bad to happen

Yoongi is seventeen and looks so much like his father did at that age

He even dresses like Yoongi did

"I got in", he says proudly

"You did?", I ask excitedly, "Because if you're joking that's a mean joke to play"

"No mom I'm not joking. I got into BigHit. I'm going to be a rapper and producer like dad was"

I jump up from the couch and crush him in a hug, "Oh my god, I'm so happy for you! This is so exciting!"

"I did it mom", he says hugging me tightly

"I'm so proud of you Yoongi", I say, pulling back, looking at him

I feel tears falling as I tell him, "You're father would be so proud of you"

"Yeah mom? He would?"

"Of course he would. He'd be proud of anything you'd do. He'd tell you that it will be hard and you may get discouraged but don't give up and keep working hard. You'll make it just like he did. You're so much like him"

Tears fall from his eyes as well, "Thanks mom. Thanks for telling me about dad, letting me watch videos of him and listening to his music. I wish I could of met him. And even though I didn't, I still love him"

My heart swells in happiness hearing Yoongi say that about his father

Yoongi grew up knowing all about his father and his career

He showed interest in music from when he was seven

As he got older, I gave him his father's equipment and he used that to make music

He told me he wanted to be a rapper and producer like Yoongi was

So I put him in an arts school that focuses on music

He was a natural at lyrics and composing like his father but the technical side of the equipment and putting a song together was harder for him

Namjoon and Hobi helped him with that until he could do it by himself

Jin, Jimin, Tae and Jungkook helped him learn to sing too

And he even learned how to play piano and guitar like Yoongi did

And when he turned seventeen a few months ago he told me he wanted to audition for BigHit

I brought him to a rap competition like Yoongi went too and he performed where he won first place

He proudly told them he's Min, Yoongi and his father was Min, Yoongi of BTS

Bang was shocked and he asked where I was

Yoongi called me over and I saw Bang again

He told us that Yoongi has talent just like his father did

He was impressed with Yoongi's rapping, his lyrics and producing skills and to expect a call

Apparently that call came today

"I'm so happy for you. You deserve all this with all the hard work you do"

"Thanks mom. I couldn't have done it without you. You're the best mom and I love you"

I smile at him, happy he's such an amazing person

"I love you too Yoongi. You're my baby. I'd do anything for you"

"I know mom. Thanks"

I wipe my eyes, "So when do you have to go to Seoul?"

"By next week. I'm training for a year or so, then I'll debut"

I nod

I'm happy he's achieving his dream but I'm also a little sad that he's leaving

I'm going to miss him but I would never stand in his way

I'll always support my son like I supported his father

"Then you need to start packing"

Yoongi nods then hesitates, "Mom, you can come with me. You can move to Seoul too"

I get why he's asking

It's been just us for his whole life and I know he's worried I'd be lonely

I smile sadly at him, "I can't Yoonie. You're dad is here and I can't leave him."

He nods, "Yeah I figured that"

"But don't worry, I'll come visit you often. And you'll be so busy training that you won't even notice the time fly by"

He laughs, "Yeah ok mom."

"You need to go get boxes for the stuff you're taking. And start packing. So go", I shoo him, smiling

"Alright, alright, I'm going", he laughs

He bends down and kisses my cheek

"See you later mom", he says as he leaves the room

"Be careful", I call

"Always mom!"

The door to the apartment closes and I sit back down on the couch

I look at the picture of Yoongi on the side table and take it in my hands

"He did it baby. He's following in your footsteps. He's going to be as amazing as you were naekkeo. Please watch over our boy while he's in Seoul. I love you Yoongi"

I bring the picture to my lips and kiss it, then place it back on the table

--------------------------------

45 years later

Laying in my hospital bed, I reflect on my life

I lived a long life and I had to do it without my soulmate

My life was hard without him and I never got over his death

I felt the pain of his loss every single day and I came to accept that pain as a part of my life

I never dated again, never wanted anyone except Yoongi

And I still only want him

I had my beautiful son and he grew up to be just like Yoongi

He debuted a year after he left for training and had a successful career

He became worldwide famous like his father and toured all over the world

He found his soulmate and he has a happy life

He gave me four adorable grandchildren that I spoiled and he made sure his kids knew all about Yoongi too

Two of them went into music as well

One is a famous rapper and one is a famous vocalist in a girl kpop group

His other son is a doctor and his last child, another daughter is a makeup artist for an idol group

I worked in the makeup store until I retired

And I went to visit Yoongi every day

I miss him so much

But I know I'll see him soon

I became sick two years ago

I fought for as long as I could for my family but the disease won

I feel myself dying

Some people would be scared

I'm not

I'm happy and excited

I get to be with Yoongi again

"Mom", Yoongi cries as he holds my hand tightly

He's been by my side for days ever since I went into the hospital

"I love you Yoongi. I'm so proud of you", I manage to get out

"I love you mom. Thank you for everything. I wouldn't be the way I am if it wasn't for you. I'm so grateful you're my mom"

I smile weakly

It's getting harder to breath and I cough to try to get air

"It's ok mom. Go to dad. I know you've been waiting to see him all your life. It's ok, I'll be ok. You can be with him again"

I manage a smile as I close my eyes, everything fading away

--------------------------------

Opening my eyes, I'm standing in a familiar park

And everything is in color

I notice my hands

They're smooth like they were when I was young

There's no wrinkles anywhere

And my engagement and wedding rings are still on

I never took them off during my life and I'm glad they're still with me

But....

Where the hell am I?

"Jagi"

I freeze

It's his voice

The voice I missed so much my entire life

I turn around and he's there smiling at me

"Yoongi?", I gasp

"Yeah jagi. It's me. I've been waiting for you"

I run to him, crashing into him and he picks me up holding me tightly

"I missed you so much naekkeo.", I cry, tears running down my face

"I missed you jagi."

"Is this real? Are you real? Or are you a dream?"

Please let him be real

"I'm real Jo. I'm here. You're here"

Moving back I look in his eyes

His gorgeous brown eyes

"Am I staying with you?"

"Yes baby. This time you're staying with me"

I smile and he pulls me back to him, his lips on mine in a kiss that I waited my whole life for

Happiness explodes in my heart and fireworks go off just like they used to

After the kiss, I look back in his eyes

"I love you Yoongi. I love you so much", I tell him, kissing him so much more

"I love you Joanne. More than anything", he whispers, kissing me again

I can't ever get enough of his kisses

I had to be without them for so long and I don't want him to stop

After, he puts me down and takes my hand

"Do you know where we are?", he asks

I look around recognizing the park

"It's where you proposed to me", I answer

He smiles and nods

"Yoongi....I'm dead aren't I?"

"Yeah jagi. I'm sorry"

"Don't be. I don't care. I've been waiting to be with you again", I say softly

Looking at our hands, I'm reminded that I have no wrinkles

"Yoongi.....am I young again? I died an old woman but I don't have wrinkles anywhere"

"Yeah jagi. Here you become the age you were when you were the most happy"

I was the most happy when I was with Yoongi so it makes sense I'm young again

"I'm 26?"

He nods

"Why are you the same? You look the same as when I saw you in my dream"

"Because Jo, the day I died was when I was the most happy. I had you and we were having a baby. That was the happiest time of my life"

I can't explain the elation I feel at his words

"I'm sorry jagi", he says

"For what?", I ask confused

"For not being there with you. For leaving you alone. I was there watching you your whole life and I know how much pain you've been in your entire life", he whispers

"It's not your fault naekkeo. You didn't want to leave. We were ripped apart from each other. And yes I was in pain every day but I also had our son. He made me happy"

"I know jagi. You did an amazing job raising him. You were the best mom to him. I knew you would be. Thank you for naming him after me and always talking about me to him"

He never has to thank me for that

I nod, "Of course Yoongi. I swore he'd know you and he does. He never met you but he loves you. He was inspired by you and wanted to become just like you. A rapper and a producer"

"He succeeded", he says, "I saw him working hard and achieving his dream. And I saw you encouraging and supporting him since he was seven"

"He wanted to make you proud"

He made me so proud

"He did Jo. And so did you. I'm so proud that you're my soulmate, my wife and the best mother my son could ever have."

I smile at him and squeeze his hand

"So uh, what's it like here?", I ask

"Just like the real world except it's peaceful and happy. And we don't age. It is what heaven is supposed to be. I don't know if it's called heaven but it is."

I can sense the peace around here and I feel happy but that's because I'm with Yoongi

"What do we do here?"

"Live jagi. Just like we did before. We still live in the apartment in Seoul and we live like the living do but with no pain, no sadness. And we get to be together"

"Forever?", I ask

He nods, "Yes Jo. Forever"

"I love you", I tell him

"I love you", he answers

He kisses me again, this time a passionate kiss, holding me tightly against him

My arms go around his neck and I hold on to him tightly

I'm so happy

I get to be with my Yoongi forever

Nothing can tear us apart anymore

We'll be together always, just like we wanted

😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼😼

Bonus- Ending in Yoongi's POV

Yoongi POV

I anxiously wait in the park for Joanne to come

I've been waiting 62 years for her

I never expected to be away from her

To be away from my son

That was never a thought in my mind

I thought Joanne and I would have our son, raise him, have more children, get a house together and grow old together

I never thought I'd be murdered

And at a concert in front of thousands of people

I remember the pain and the absolute shock from the first bullet

I couldn't die, I had too much to live for

By the last shot, I knew I was dying and my last thoughts were about Joanne and the baby

Then I woke up here

The afterlife

It's just like living in the real world

Not much is different expect you don't die and bad things don't happen here

But I haven't been happy

I can't be happy without her

I'm still able to be around her even though she can't see me

I hear her talking to me and I talk back but again she can't hear me

I heard every time Yoongi talked to me too

I watched over her and him their whole lives wishing I could be there

I saw what a hard time she was having right after my death

It killed me when she ran on stage to my body

I had to watch her cry, begging me to come back when I was standing right there

I was right next to her but I couldn't comfort her, couldn't hold her and it destroyed me.

And seeing her at my funeral

I still can't think about it without breaking down

I was met here by someone who is apparently my great grandfather and he explained everything to me

How this place works, what's allowed, what's not

I'm allowed to be around her as much as I want, watching over her but I can't interfere in anything

And I could only go to her in a dream once

Apparently whoever is in charge of this place knows that the people we leave behind may have some difficulty with our death

Yeah no shit

So we're allowed to go to them one time and it has to be in a dream

I had to go immediately

I had to tell her how much I love her, had to tell her that I didn't want to leave and I wish I could come back

Being able to hold her and kiss her one last time was bittersweet

I got to do those things but I wasn't able to anymore after that

Until she came here

She had a hard life without me

I could see it, how much she missed me

But I was there

I was there when Yoongi was born, I was there watching him grow up and Joanne caring for him

It made me feel so lucky to have her with the way she always told Yoongi who I was

She never let him forget me, she let him listen to my music, watch videos of BTS and Agust D

She had pictures of me everywhere so he'd know what I looked like

And he looks just like me

He has some of her in him too but mostly me

I'm happy she never resented him for looking like me

She loves him unconditionally and supported his music career

She used the money we made well, buying a good sized apartment in Daegu near my parents and used the rest for Yoongi

She really fostered his musical abilities from the day he showed interest in them- piano lessons, guitar lessons, anything to do with music

She asked Namjoon and Hobi to help him learn to rap, write lyrics, compose music and put songs together

And they gladly helped

She also got Jin, Jimin, Tae and Kookie to teach him how to sing

She put him in art schools where music was a major part of the day

She supported him one hundred percent and it made me happy that he had her

I remember what it was like when my parents didn't support me

I'm so proud of her

She raised our son to become the best person he could be and he is

I'm proud of him and all his accomplishments

I know I have the best girl in the world

She never stopped loving me

She never dated anyone else either

I heard what she said every time someone said she should try to move on or try to find someone else

"Yoongi is my one. I don't want anyone else but him. Ever."

She never took off her engagement or wedding ring

Not once

That means so much to me

I still have mine

I guess because I was wearing it when I died

But I haven't taken it off and I never will

Joanne also spoke to me all the time, telling me how much she missed me and how much she loves me

I'm so fucking lucky she loved me her whole life

And now I'm waiting for her

She's been sick and I know she's coming soon

She knows it too

I just don't know exactly when she's coming

But it's soon

--------------------------------

I wait for another few hours

I have nothing to do so I have time

Walking around, I enjoy the park

I picked this place because it's the park where I asked her to marry me

When I turn back towards the trees, I see her there

My heart is pounding in my chest

Her back is to me and all I want is to see her beautiful face

I stop a few feet away from her

"Jagi", I call, smiling

I see her body stiffen and she turns around slowly

My god she's gorgeous

I missed her so fucking much

"Yoongi?", she gasps

I nod

"Yeah jagi. It's me. I've been waiting for you"

She run to me, crashing into me and I pick her up holding me tightly so fucking happy and relieved to have her in my arms again

"I missed you so much baby.", she cry, tears running down her face

"I missed you jagi. So much", I tell her

"Is this real? Are you real? Or are you a dream?"

I know what she's feeling

It's like she's a dream and I'm scared I'm going to wake up

But I can feel her, she's real

She's really here with me

I shake my head

"I'm real Jo. I'm here. You're here"

She moves back looking in my eyes

And I stare at her gorgeous brown eyes

"Am I staying with you?"

Hell yes

I'm never letting her go

"Yes baby. This time you're staying with me"

She smiles so widely and I pull her back to me, my lips on hers in a kiss that I waited my whole afterlife for

Stars burst in my vision just like they used to anytime I kissed her and love explodes in my body

Fuck I missed her kisses

They always left me breathless

And I'm over the moon I get to have her kisses again

After the kiss, she looks back in my eyes

"I love you Yoongi. I love you so much", she tell me, kissing me again

The feel of her soft lips on mine makes me insanely happy

"I love you Joanne. More than anything", I whisper, my lips on hers in a second

She's here and I feel finally feel complete

She's here and she's not leaving, I'm not leaving

We're going to spend the rest of forever together

I can't wait

[callsign-rogueone]

The answers just gave me more thoughts indeed

✨️my apologies✨️

But I just imagine Violet finding out they're married and just go " YOU'RE WHAT" and Bodhi being all smug like "yeah that's my wife right there" also Dain finding out? Why Dain👀

Also Bodhi- WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WIFE- Durran died dead. I just imagine after the war him realizing they didn't have a proper wedding and going up to Darling with a ring proposing the right way and Darling being like " Bodhi we're already married" and him just answering "I know but I want you to have a proper wedding and I wanna see you in a white dress" and just AAAAAA I love them so much. Also after they go back to riorson house maybe Darling is not always in leathers and slowly bringing back her dresses and bodhi staring like 😍. They're just so UGH. Like they just give off so much mom and dad vibes that could also kick anyone's ass if provoked.

That's it, thank u🎀

I knew that would raise more questions hehe. here’s more answers, because I can’t keep a surprise to save my life (I buy someone a birthday present in advance and then I want to tell them asap because I’m so excited about it. the same goes for my writing… I get an idea and I need to share it immediately.)

Violet will be finding out in the next Bo and Darling chapter, whenever that will be. (I think I’m gonna go back and forth with their timeline a little bit? idk. It’s already all over the place, sooo…) Bo won’t be there at the time but if he was he’d definitely be smug about it. He’s a “wife guy” 100%. Just wait until their fifth anniversary (sometime in May of the Fourth Wing year)… that’s going to be such a fun, fluffy (and possibly sexy) chapter.

“Why Dain” is a fantastic question that I will not be answering at this time. but it involves Love, of course.

the “where tf is my wife” is going to be so. good. we finally get to see our sweet boy snap a little bit… and then take the most gentle care of his lady after. cuddles and just so much softness and love.

yes absolutely Bo does want a real wedding with a ring and vows and cake and fancy clothes!! he’s such a romantic. but darling is very practical and wants the war to be over / Tyrrendor to be freed first. but they’re definitely getting a real wedding in my Happily Ever After AU! and then three sweet little babies, because Bodhi can’t keep his hands off his woman 😅💗

and yes!!! some of the girls are definitely going to be getting back into their “civilian clothes” and any color other than black when they get to Riorson house, darling included. all the boys love the leather, but some of them are really gonna like the dresses. especially the more traditional of the bunch (Bodhi, Dain, and Sawyer 👀)

“they just give off so much mom and dad vibes that could also kick anyone's ass if provoked.” that’s the vibe I’m going for! she’s a mama bear to all the marked ones, and when she gets promoted to wingleader, heaven help anybody who messes with her cadets…

okay I have to cut myself off here again. and like, actually write these things instead of just yapping about them. sigh.

also… do you want to be “🎀 anon” or something like that? 👉👈 I love all of you guys and I want to build relationships with my frequent readers, even if it’s on anonymous 🥺

[varusai]

⭐️Get to know your mutuals⭐️

⭐️ Tagged by @elvenmoans

this took me forever to fill out i kept forgetting it in my drafts. oops😔

⭐️ What's the origin of your blog title?

blog title: ☆ ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ ☆

i was looking at a big ass list of japanese emoticons, don't even remember the specific one i was looking for, but came across this one ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ and???? hello??? its so cute???

i never know what to title my stupid blog so i just put that there because it makes me happy to see her.

⭐️ OTP(s)+ shipnames(s):

i’m on the oc shipping train rn but for regular non oc ships we got

moonsea tyrants (manshoon/ fzoul) - the forgotten realms

gideon/harrow/ianthe (any combo) - the locked tomb

farcille (falin/marcille) - dungeon meshi

durgetash (the dark urge/enver gortash) - bg3 (only default hot white dragonborn durge tho, i don’t care about any of that custom character shit)

scar/lex - AVP (i’m having my annual resurgence of this ancient fixation. it will pass soon)

⭐️ Favourite color:

black, but since a lot of ppl consider this a non answer/cop out, purple. i have a particular soft spot for ultraviolet purple.

⭐️ Song stuck in your head:

Thnks fr th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy

i heard it on the radio yesterday after not hearing it for a long time and now its stuck

⭐️ Weirdest habit/trait:

i think this is more of a question that one would need to direct outward, not self-assign. like i talk to myself and consider that both find and normal what the fuck do i know about what counts as a weird habit lol

⭐️ Hobbies:

mainly playing dnd right now. playing dnd and thinking about The Characters. i also write and draw sometimes. i just never finish anything. I’ve also been reading a lot more this year, which has been nice. and I do/learn math for fun, but idk if that counts as a hobby? i'm gonna count it because i do it often enough.

⭐️ If you work, what's your profession?

i got some chronic conditions during covid and was fucked up and disabled for a while in addition to being really depressed. i'm on meds now and its getting a little better but now the job market is fucked so i don't have a job job rn and i just do gig work and temp jobs when i run out of money. usually admin, tech support, tutoring, or doordash. kinda just depends on what comes up.

⭐️ If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

tbh i kinda already had my dream job? i was a physicist doing research on planet formation. undergraduate level, but it was a paid position so technically i made it. i do hope to go back to it one day when i'm not mentally and physically fucked up, but considering the state of the world now def doesn't seem like the time. unfortunately.

⭐️ Something you're good at:

befriending cats. i’ve literally never met a cat that didn’t like me. even stray cats. i’d like to think i’m pretty good at art too.

⭐️ Something you hate:

capitalism. i also hate driving, temperatures higher than 80F, and the human head, neck, back, and nervous system. mine specifically.

⭐️ Something you collect:

pens and notebooks/office supplies. which was fine when i was in school/doing research/teaching but after??? i would have ended up in some trouble space wise if i hadn't started playing dnd lol. now i can use my stuff again for my notes/game binder :3

i also collect dnd dice sets✨

⭐️ Something you forget:

i'll forget anything that you can ask me a question about out of nowhere. my brain is never stupider than when i'm put on the spot😔

⭐️ What's your love language:

talk to me about something that i'm obsessed with. especially like fic/character/dnd/oc worldbuilding. and especially if we're working on it together. if you can get to this stage you're prob in for life.

⭐️ Favourite movie/show:

The Thing (1982) is my favorite movie ever i watch it literally all the time.

big shout out to the Alien franchise and LotR tho they're tight runners up.

my fav show fluctuates a lot more, but i gotta say just based on rewatch value How Its Made takes it easily.

⭐️ Favourite food:

panda express orange chicken and chow mein combo with crab rangoons, that exact order

⭐️ Favourite animal:

cats or seals! literally two of the cutest animals to exist.

⭐️ What were you like as a child:

undiagnosed and strange

⭐️ Favourite subject at school:

science! i literally took every science class my small town high school had and was still losing my mind

⭐️ Least favourite subject:

government & economics.

yawnnnn

⭐️ What's your best character trait?

knowledge seeking & creative.

⭐️ What's your worst character trait?

asocial & irritable

⭐️ If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

add about 3 to 4 more zeros to my bank account balance

⭐️ Tagging: @twilight-alchemist @sunnidaydreamer @voxiferous @sunsetfields @zarnitza @darkeecofreak @shadow-djinni @overcaffeinated-paranoia @roosterzebra @inadvisablyappliedmagic @bi-colored-corn @revasnaslan @a-la-orilla-del-rio @minigenos

i know a lot of y’all already but its still fun lol

[astorythatwritesitself]

OC Meme - Adrian Shepard

Nobody asked for this, but y'all are getting it anyway because I saw @omniblades-and-stars & @stormikins do this and it looked fun, so!

(By @valkblue & @eluvisen respectively!)

GENERAL

Name: Adrian Olivier Shepard 

Alias(es): Addy (from her family), and ofc the usuals via Alliance/Normandy crews (Shep/Shepard/Commander)

Gender: That's something to think about in peacetime 🫠 Just kind of runs with whatever others perceive; defaults to she/her pronouns. (Adrian's somewhere in the transmasculine range, and did pursue some some body modification during college - but all of that just dropped the fuck off after Akuze & then… like. -gestures @ everything that happens + Lazarus undoing a few things & she didn't intend on living long enough for it to matter any more-) 

Age: 28 - 32, depending on game. (Although she's also had the fun questions, post-Lazarus, about how exactly to quantify that...)

Place of Birth: SSV Toronto, during a stint in the Exodus cluster. 

Spoken Languages: English, smatterings of Quebecois French, Spanish & Russian, surprising fluency in Galactic Standard (aka the ever-evolving pidgin of Citadel space). 

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual with very limited instances of romantic interest.

Occupation: Commander in the Alliance Navy (if we want to get really technical: a special operations saboteur/data gatherer - she wanted to be a medic or get into diplomatic relations, but like hell anyone was letting a biotic stay on the sidelines entirely)/Citadel Spectre.

FAVORITE 

Color: Indigo blue

Entertainment: Music, books - not all that big on shows/movies, with the notable exception of a couple medical dramas.

Pastime: Swimming, upgrading/hacking omni-tools, poetry memorization/recitation (all-time fave/longest she can do from memory is The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock), model ship building, galactic politics, collecting rock & mineral samples from various planets she's been to, photography.

Food: Toss-up between Blast-Oh’s and seaquats (nickname for a Kajhe-native spiny pink & white ocean fruit, size & shape is similar to a kumquat. Taste is vaguely briny, then very sweet).

Drink: Masala chai.

Books: The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the collected works of Edgar Allen Poe (The Black Cat is her favorite story of his, Annabelle Lee is her favorite poem), For She Is The Krogan Queen: The Legacy of Shiagur.

HAVE THEY 

Passed University: Went through & passed an Alliance military college - majored in cybersecurity, though she still took a few classes relating to paramedicine.

Had Sex: Yes

Had Sex in Public: Not yet. 

Gotten Tattoos: Got a stylized thresher maw tattoo after Akuze - the body segments were done using the names of the lost unit; she was /not/ happy to see it gone after waking up in the lab.

Gotten Piercings: No

Had a Broken Heart: The better question is if it's ever not been kinda broken, tbh. There's a lot of disillusionment & heartache as she grows up & starts her career - she moves around a lot, so getting attached to anyone will go and hurt (and keeping herself distant hurt just as much, just in different ways). Her parents are both career military - one ground and one medical, she's always surrounded by talk of loss and death; not to mention the just... slow motion trainwreck that is their relationship. She loses her unit, loses the man she was just falling in love with, sees humanity and the galaxy at large pushed to the brink...

And we uh. We're just not going to talk about how she reacts, in the canon!verse, to losing Thane, Mordin & Legion.

Been in Love: Yes - there's a couple probable cases earlier in her life (notably Kaiden Alenko), but Thane's the first person she can definitively say she's fallen in love with.

ARE THEY

A cuddler: Y'know how after being malnourished for long enough, someone has to start so very slowly to be able to eat again? Yeah, Adrian /was/ a cuddler, but it takes a long time to get back there.

Scared easily:

She is so very scared. So very much of the time. There's so many people depending on her and so many bad things that can, will, and have happened if she fucks up, and her fear of doing that again is what keeps her going. Totally sustainable, right?

Jealous easily: Nah. 

Trustworthy: Mostly - but she's pragmatically minded enough that she is willing to use what she knows to her advantage, if the situation calls for it. When it comes to the battlefield though, oh god yes. Ever since Akuze - she'll be first in and last out, no matter what, as long as she has any say in the situation.

FAMILY 

Siblings: Yes, though they show up… way later in her life lmao. Her parents divorce, dad gets together with a turian doctor, & they adopt a couple kids . Due to Shenanigans involving said dad pretty much totally changing his first and last name, said kids don't quite realize their new big sibling is That Commander Shepard until she shows up for the holidays. She also considers Grunt something of a little brother.

Parents: Alive and (relatively) well, all throughout the series - in the standard canon, they actually far outlive her.

Hannah Shepard was from a career military family, while Adrian Alexander Bishop was a foster kid who needed a med degree. They were both in the RMC at Kingston when the Prothean data cache was uncovered and joined the Alliance together as soon as humanly possible, honored to be among the first of humanity to explore the stars, and eager to leave what legacy they can.

 Their marriage is a fucking disaster and only held up as long as it did because Hannah was often gone for quite a while on postings - they're functionally separated by the time Adrian's in high school; divorced not long after Hannah's actions on Torfan.

Children: Never intended on having kids in any capacity, but she does wind up a step-parent to Kolyat. (For the first couple years while everyone's adjusting to things, it's fucking hilarious to see just how deeply uncomfortable they both get when reminded of this fact.)

Pets: Fairly successful at keeping fish. (Also has an extensive menagerie of pet rocks).

[shiggitysstuff]

So this happened to me a month ago and I'm still mad and pretty much terrified of this incident.I'm posting this just to calm down for a few days for remembering about the game is pissing me off.

It was August of this year,i was scrolling down through steam and gamejolt to find some Sonic games to play,I'm a Sonic fan ever since I was 8, alright that's out of topic, but I did find something… interesting to say the least

… I found a port of Sonic 1 on steam for 5$, I did unfortunately bought the fucking game which was pretty much an awful idea, opening the game it was a PNG of the Sonic 1 title with the Green Hill Stage from Super Smash Bros Ultimate,yep i was scammed because of my excited dumbass but I decided to play the game to see how shit this game is.

The first zone was of course Green Hill Zone and I literally see the Sonic sprite from Sonic 1 on a Sky PNG background with low quality green hill ground,there was no animation either and Sonic didn't built up more speed while running,the game looked like it was made in Scratch which made me giggle a little bit but also disappointed,i later on found some platforms and some rings,the rings were just a PNG of the rings from Sonic Color and went on to jump over some spikes and other shit till I found a motobug PNG that's from Sonic Colors too,when I took damage 3 ring PNG’s just appeared for a 1 second and then disappeared getting my ring count to 0,after all of that nonsense I found the big ring for special stages,but after I jumped in I got to the next zone which was Chemical Plant Zone

Chemical Plant Zone was literally just Green Hill Zone with a Gray Sky PNG as the background this time with harder platforming and worse badnik placements,after doing all of that stupid ass platforming I found the big ring and jumped on it but after I did the game fucking crashed, I opened up the game and it has reset my progress making me play the 2 zones I just played again,pretty much wasted 15ish minutes over nothing,but half way through the level the game started freezing for some odd reason,I barely beat the Zone and went to Chemical Plant Zone.

EVERYTHING WAS GOING WRONG,my game was glitching out,the hole zone layout was going crazy and sprites of the game were just losing textures and we're just going around the screen,I was starting to panic and I closed the game,BUT THE GAME OPENED ITSELF,I was pretty much fuckin scared because I didn't know what to do in this situation because nothing like this ever happened to me,I tried to close the game again and again but the game would open again and again,I sadly had to continue playing the game.

After somehow beating Chemical Plant Zone,I was sent back to Green Hill Zone again with a new layout and platforms,I was confused and just continued and there were no enemies or rings this time.. but then the same thing happened again with the hole game going crazy and sprites just shaking everywhere but this time the screen was just shaking and shaking,I was getting more terrified but since I couldn't do anything other to play the game,I just continued playing the game,after a little bit of time I did find the big ring and jumped into it,but then the screen went dark for a little bit..

After some time the dark screen turned into a small square.. then a Sonic with no eyes,with less quills,white arms and red legs popped out from the black square,I jumped from that jumpscare and I was confused and scared for 2 minutes and then.. MY FILES AND MY PROGRAM AND ICONS WERE SLOWLY GETTING DELETED,after seeing that I realized that this was no ordinary scam game but a scam game with a FUCKING BOOT SECTOR VIRUS CODED INTO IT,I couldn't do anything as my PC slowly broke down and crashed,I turned it on and I saw the Blue Screen,which meant my PC was broken and needed repairing and such.

2 days after that hole incident,I tried to get my PC fixed but my PC was long gone,I had to buy a Laptop cuz I was wasted half of my money on the PC that broke down,I'm still pissed about that day,whenever you see an Official Sonic on steam or gamejolt that needs to be purchased with real life money DON’T BUY IT,ITS A SCAM GAME WITH A VIRUS! This will be the last time I talk about this incident or even post about it.I wish I wasn't that excited and I would have kept my PC and wouldn't have spent a lot of my money again. Please do not make the same mistake I did.

("Hedgehog Virus" is written by CREATOR OF DOOM/DOOMCREATOR)

[secretsandwriting]

Part Two: Half Human Half Whatever

Thirteen dead reapers, Thirteen spears, Thirteen bodies devoured by mushrooms, Thirteen days, Thirteen hours, Fourteen People.

Previous -- Masterlist -- Next

“I would’ve thought it would be harder to get to Death.” Dick inspected the map Danny had found. 

“This Death has made it easier to visit. From what I heard, the previous Death was almost impossible to go to.” Danny took the map back. “While easier, it’s still dangerous, more than half who go, don’t come back… This Death may be nicer, but she’s still the ruler of the reapers and someone who's capable of killing anyone she wants.”

“You’re going to see Lady Death as well?” An old man with a blindfold questioned them. “I guess most of us need something from her huh.” He smiled softly as he looked at the ground. “It’s been said Lady Death likes collecting eyes, and she’ll trade souls for them. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get my wife back. What are you visiting her for?” 

“He keeps finding dead reapers at the foot of his bed so we're trying to find out why.” Another man whistled at that.

“Damn, and I thought the assassins coming after me were bad.” He looked at his watch. “Thirteen hours exactly.” Everyone looked at their watches or phones. It had been thirteen hours to the exact second. “Well, the city’s right over here through this tunnel. Let's go before we get too close to 14 hours, when it comes to death 14 is the worst number. I’m Michel by the way.”

“Danny.”

“Dick.”

“Jason”

“Tim.”

“Bruce.”

“Steph, she’s Cass.”

“Damian.”

“Clark.”

“Jon.”

“Conner.”

“Fred.”

“Marcus.”

“Make sure you're careful in the city. The city itself was founded on a blood sacrifice and needs blood to survive. Normally it doesn’t need much, but every thirteen weeks it requires thirteen human sacrifices. If my timeline is correct, this week is the thirteenth week. Meaning piss of Lady Death and you might end up a sacrifice.”

“The nice thing is that we don’t have to worry about the reapers. Once you're in the city, you're off limits unless Lady Death herself gives the command.” Jason helped Fred over the bumps in the ground. He refused to take off his blindfold, wanting to be prepared to never see again. “Here we are, the gates of Okadus.” Michel ushered all of them in. 

“It’s this way to her palace.” He led the way, weaving through the streets until they came to a gate with a sign next to it.

To gain entrance to the castle you must sacrifice one of your bones, choose quickly or the city will choose for you.

All of them chose the same bone, the tailbone. A completely unnecessary bone, but a bone. Entrance was granted and the gates opened. The group walked through the hallway until they reached the large double doors at the end.

“This is the throne room. You just have to announce who you are and what you're here f-” He was cut off by the door opening. “Or not?” They stepped in and were met with Lady Death herself. She was lounging in a throne built of bones, a long black dress that seemed to melt into the floor, the color darker than anything they had ever seen. Her hands were black, it went up her arms fading out into the palest of white broken up by the black of her veins. Her eyes were somehow even darker than her dress, and her black hair hung down straight, framing the pale skin of her face. 

“Let’s save the fun one for last, what can I do for you Fred?” The old man stepped forwards.

“I’m here to trade my eyes for my wife’s soul.” Death visibly softened. Fred pulled the blindfold off and looked Death in the eye. “I love her more than anything and I want to be with her again.” 

“Unfortunately I can’t give you her soul. It’s too late for that. The only thing I can do is move your death closer so you can join her sooner. For one of your eyes, I’ll move your death to thirteen days from now and you’ll be escorted straight to your wife.”

“Yes! That would be wonderful!” With the snap of Death’s fingers Fred was gone and a reaper was in his place. 

“Fred’s moved up, you are to reap his soul in thirteen days and escort him directly to Anna. You can do the paperwork on the way if you want or you can do it in your office before you take him. Just make sure it’s done on time.” 

“Alright, Marcus.”

“I want to trade my eyes for immortality!”

“No. Don’t argue or I’ll have you placed in the dungeons and used for the next city sacrifice.” She waved her hand and Marcus was removed by one of the reapers. "I swear everybody wants to be immortal." She muttered under her breath.

“Michel. If you ask the same damn thing you’ve asked every month I will kill you myself.” Michel walked himself out. 

“If I had known this is what I would be dealing with everyday I wouldn’t have taken this position…” Danny knew the feeling well. “So, what brings the Ghost King to Okadus?”

“One of my friends has been having some serious trouble so I wanted to get it sorted as soon as possible.” He stepped aside and everyone pushed Bruce forward.

“Bruce Wayne. What seems to be the problem and why do you think I can help?” Bruce explained everything that had happened the past thirteen days and they all waited, hoping she would have some answers. Good answers.

“Well, the mushrooms everywhere were probably because I’ve been in Gotham the past thirteen days and with everything else going on they probably grew from the concentrated death magic. The thirteen bodies are from the sacrifices. I normally pick a city and find people who won’t be missed and this time it was Gotham so that’s nothing too bad. As for the dead reapers, and presence watching you, I’ll have to double check but I’m pretty sure it’s just a side effect of you escaping death a few too many times.” 

“Normally people can’t see the reapers and just spend thirteen days overly paranoid and then it goes away. I’m not sure why it happens but everything should be fine tonight. I’ll double check a few things but that's probably it. If anything else happens, have Ghost King send me a message and I’ll get to the bottom of it.”

“And how would I get in contact with you?” Danny raised an eyebrow. It had taken him a year to even figure out how to even get to Okadus and now he has to learn how to contact her?

“I told the reaper you grabbed to give you my phone number, you’re not the only half human half whatever you know. Anyways, if that’s all I’ll send you home.”

[gengar-pixel-2]

Transformers animated Season three liveblog: Spoilers!

Onto our next episode! LET'S GO!

I was WAITING for this one! let me tell you!

A prowl and lockdown centered episode? This was worth the wait. Anyway, time for me to shit on sentinel again. (As usual, dialog is in alt text.) The gang goes on a mission to follow an energy signature, prowl does some cool ninja moves while him, jazz, optimus and sentinel look. JAZZ TIME BABYYY- I love jazz <3

until they find out they've been tricked. Aw man. :(

SENTINEL JUST. FUCKS OFF. thats not suspicious or weird AT ALL.

..Hey, wait a minute. I know that helmet!!! prime, run!

THEN SUNSTORM SHOWS UP!! TEEHEE!!! :3 THE SUNNYYY honestly his flattery would.. work on me haha- "Keep going." I say, flustered /silly

GO GET EM' BOYS! NINJAAAAA GO!

OH FUCK OFF. COME ON BRO... Way to scare them, aft-hole.. as usual, he treats this like a joke and goes "You guys should've seen the looks on your faceplates!"

anyway, so then primes like "Heyyy... how did you do that? How did you capture the starscream clone?" and even jazz is stunned.. no one believes this is possible and uh. I didn't either. Something's up. and then sunstorm goes on a little rant as usual..

sidenote btw, i love sentinels stupid eyebrow raise/annoyed expression. Like, I hate him, but it makes me giggle. like, look at him. it's so childish, really fits his personality.

"Huh, that's odd.. sentinel never cuts anyone off when he's being praised.." also made me giggle lol- I love this show

anyway, so then the crew goes to the elite guard ship and..

THE BLITZWING!! THE BITCHING!! THERE, RIGHT THERE!!! also swindle!! :3

but at this point me and my sister were like "there's no way he did this without help. it's sentinel we're talking about here." ALSO YAY!! THE JET TWINS!! i love them so much you don't understand. they're so silly.

jetstorm just wants to look cool for the ladies okay? wants to rizz them up as the kids say. /SILLY!! SILLY! I think this scene was really cute. look at his little pose.

also in my last liveblog i said that jetfire was french. He is not french. I would like to formerly apologize, as somehow my brain heard him and went "oh hes french" when they are clearly eastern European?

also "How did you capture this badness bot?" I love them i'm sorry. the accents just add to it for me I find them so charming, like blitzwings silly german one.

Anyway they start questioning sentinel and then he's like "NUH UH!! also don't tell me how to do my job!" then optimus tells prowl how he saw that.. familiar helmet. prowl gasps, and then..

PROWL LORE TIME YAYYY!!!

This fellow is introduced, and I quite like his design. Black, white, and gold are always good colors. Anyway, young prowl has been apprehended by this big scary red guy.

so prowl. did something, but this master.. *looks at my notes* yoketron, tells warpath (big red guy) to let him go. to which hes like "If you ask me, he should rust in the stockade!!" LIKE OKAY BRO. prowl.. didn't wanna fight and like, ran. big whoop. and then prowl and yoketron talk a bit more. We learn that yoketron took prowl under his wing and this is how he learned his cyber-ninja stuff. we also learn that prowl used to be quite the "delinquent" and loner because quote "Why should I risk my chassis for anyone? Nobody has ever risked their chassis for me!" his past in this episode explains his behavior in early season one, AND his behavior in season two with "a fistful of energon."

After prowl talks to jazz about their old sensei's helmet, sentinel interrupts and is like "that old guy?? pfft- hes been offline for like. ever. hes probably rusted." then fucks off for.. "patrol." prowl and jazz follow, only to see he's disappeared. HMMM... We also see some training with yoketron and prowl again.

Prowl and jazz can't find sentinel. oopsie! so they go back to the ship.

MORE TWINS YAYYY!!

their flabbers are GASTED.

HE GOT LUGNUT!!!

love this interaction, optimus's stammering is killing me.

another prowl and yoketron training montage. Yoketron is proud of prowl, and then reveals something, after giving prowl his iconic weapons. Then shows him something important.

hey? see that empty pedestal? Yeah, keep that in mind. That's important. Yoketron says that it belonged to a former student who brought shame.

He reveals that the cyber-ninja's mission is to protect these protoforms, the next generation. If project omega fails, then they will have no choice but to go to drastic, desperate measures and turn them into warriors. Yoketron worries for the survival of them, no matter the outcome. ..Horrifying. I hope nothing bad happens. (ominous foreshadowing)

After failing a task, yoketrons like "ah, dw about it." and tells him to go on a mission, and become the cyber-ninja he knows him to be. Present prowl wanders the halls, and finds sentinel there, calling someone.

He steals a thing and prowl stops using his hologram disguise when he's done and goes "hmmm!!! thats suspicious! that's weird!" and goes after him.

saw this, thought we were gonna go a vampire baseball route with this one.

THE WAY I GIGGLED AND KICKED MY FEET!! MY HORRIBLE MAN, MY SHITTY BLORBO IS BACK!!

anyway, prowl is rightfully pissed off and the goes to beat the shit out of sentinel (not really but yknow. a girl can dream.) Apparently, the asshat stole a gyro stabilizer from the ship but it was all a big diversion. A ruse. Also, the lying clone, ramjet is here! yippee! my favorite clone!

Sentinel essentially goes "Oh so you were right, BIIIG deal buddy.. You guys make so much stuff about fighting cons but i'm capturing them!" I CAN'T WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER. ON GOD. YOU TEAMED UP WITH LOCKDOWN?? LOCKDOWN. ALL FOR A LITTLE POWERTRIP. SENTINEL? WHEN I CATCH YOU. SENTINEL-

Then ramjets like "ooo like at me, helpless and disarmed.." and prowl goes "SENTINEL EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS A LIE, YOU FOOL, THIS IS A TRAP!!!" and fighting begins! "We had a deal!!" and lockdowns like. "Skill issue dude. they offered me better stuff. more upgrades and energon. sorry i guess."

The boys (prowl and lockdown are fighting) when some interesting dialog happens. Lockdown asks what that move is supposed to be (i forget the first part of the name but it has sigma in it) and is like oh thats pathetic, and then prowl does more moves, to which lockdown responds: "Is that circuit-su? I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic." prowl is like HEYYY buddy how tf do you know that.. and then lockdown drops lore and goes.. "Never cared much for yoketron's spiritual crud. ..But I did like that helmet.." flashback time!

The dojo is in shambles. Indicating someone broke in. And JUST when me and my sister thought this couldn't get any worse, it did, as usual. Prowl runs, only to find..

The protoforms have been stolen. Taken by force. The implications being these were given to the decepticons to be made into other well.. decepticons. This is. awful, actually. Primus..

And to make matters worse.. Prowl finds yoketron, but..

PEEPAW DOWN!! jokes aside HES DYING. but prowl is determined and opens his sparkchamber thats actively fading. With one protoform left, prowl climbs down and grabs the body. Only for master yoketron to do this after being brought back. Giving some wise advice, and he passes away, going grey and offline.

THE LOCKDOWN LORE GOES CRAZY OH MY GOD...

Prowl is rightfully angry, they fight, and backup arrives w/the jet twins and optimus. More fighting, prowl is trapped, gets taken into lockdowns ship, he escapes, more fighting, etc etc.. they win! Also jazz's "woah bro.." is real haha.

Lockdown gets away, and then they go back to the ship, with cliffjumper telling them the news about magnus. ..I know that they're like "he's recovering" but there ain't no way peepaws living past this point.

HE LOOKS SO COOL AUUUHGHGHGH- i love his original design but god. this looks sick.

Sorry for this being like, longer. guess I had more thoughts? I don't know. Anyway, can't wait for the next one! BANGER episode!!!

[cabbagedreamss]

THE CAFFIENE-FUELED HORROR FROM OUTER SPACE is NOW AVAILABLE to read online IN FULL for the first time! settle in with a fresh and hot equinox espresso for an out of this world comic adventure starring DOC AND MAYA! ☕️ check it out here on twitter!

cabbagejournalss - it's finally here! after three and a half years, my first completed long form comic is finally complete and ready to share with the world!

doc and maya have lived in my head for years. longer than any other characters i've made up, i kept coming back to them and tinkering them and refining them and they might finally be close to a place i feel is right for them to be in, a story i feel can serve them well and give me the avenue to explore what i really want to do with them.

the idea of doc and maya encountering an army of evil barista aliens began a few years ago, when i decided i wanted the tone of their stories to be absurd and lighthearted subversions of classic sci-fi tropes. i jumped right in the deep end and put pencil to paper, resulting in about 3 pages of claustrophobic panels i made on the fly and a crude version of the opening scene we have today. pretty soon i ran into a narrative roadblock and eventually put it aside, but never abandoned the dream of seeing it finished.

some time later i decided to pick up where i left off with a more serious approach to making comics and thumbnailed pages for the first time, scribbling the dialogue off to the side, still making it up as i went along (pages 8-15 pictured below). now we're gettin' somewhere!

once i got to the end with 41 entire pages (still irks me it's not an even 40), i transcribed and formatted the notes into a nice fancy script into a nice fancy google doc and bought myself a fresh sketchbook to draw the real pages.

my original plan was to ink the pages in black and white by hand and scan them digitally, but this immediately fell apart due to my shaky hand. the first three pages are forever stained with wobbly, ugly ink. i decided on the digital approach and inked every page in ibis paint by tracing a photograph of the original sketchbook page. much cleaner and so much less stressful!

full color was always out of the question because it'd be way too time consuming. i have endless respect for webcomic artists who produce the full package. doc and maya live in a colorful world but grayscale is much more manageable and you can get as much depth and life from black and white if you learn to use it right, which is what i wanted to do. however by the time i discovered i could use more than two values of gray it was too late to go back and change the old pages (never ever ever ever ever ever delete your old pages. what the hell was wrong with me). i would then transfer the pages once again into photoshop to add the speech bubbles using the font "cc meanwhile", which i chose to closely match the font of professionally published comics.

i really enjoy playing dress up with doc and maya and want to give them a different outfit with a reference sheet for every story. here maya models a comfortable teen sleepover look with sporty braids while doc stuns in a kicky cropped hoodie and summery sneaks. i like their mismatched appearances representing their differing approaches to their problem. no matter what wacky situation befalls them, they're always gonna look good.

i made pretty good time. i had a consistent work schedule, averaging about one page drawn per day. i was flying through those pages! i'd never been so excited or motivated to work on a project like this, but still there was a part of me that believed i would never see it through to completion because i never finished anything.

it got harder when the spring 2024 semester started and i had to throw myself into my senior project. these projects were meant to define me and i had no idea where to begin and how to best present myself through my work. how was i supposed to represent my strengths and passions through one project, let alone even think of one?

oh.

working on caffeine-fueled horror as a full time project instead of squeezing it in on the side felt way too good to be true. i was both giddy and wracked with terror to be showing it off for the first time, and i was very truly stunned by how much my friends and family and classmates and professors seemed to like it. one of my professors even put me in contact with a published graphic novelist he knew for feedback and advice! i chipped away throughout the summer and fall until finally, finally, the caffeine-fueled horror from outer space! was complete.

and it was the centerpiece of my senior exhibition!

i treated cfh as a learning experience when i started thinking about comics as a career path. i learned so, so much about what it takes to make comics, pacing, what makes for an engaging panel and page layout, how to fit all the dialogue into a speech bubble, and most importantly, that i really enjoy making comics. i love the satisfaction of reading back the pages, arranging the text, striking the right pose, all of it. i love having a project with direction. i love comics.

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 17: The Red Sister

Red's a great color most of the time, but not always! You don't want to be seeing red, for example. One way that might happen is if you don't want spoilers for the full Wheel of Time series and you click "Keep Reading", you will see first spoilers and then metaphorical red. So don't do that!

This chapter goes back to the Flame of Tar Valon icon because we're dealing with a particular sister -- and because she's going to be that Flame soon!

Except for the most formal occasions, few Aes Sedai wore the vine-embroidered shawl with the white teardrop Flame of Tar Valon large on the wearer’s back, but Elaida wore hers, the long red fringe announcing her Ajah. Red slashed her dress of cream-colored silk, too, and red slippers peeked under the edge of her skirts as she moved into the room.

And so right here we get wardrobe confirmation that for all of Elaida's flaws, she's not Black - she wears only red and cream-colored things, without a hint of black.

“Herbs. You are not a village Wisdom any longer, child. Trying to hold on to the past will only hold you back.”

Elaida is of course trying to give useful advice and only failing because she's so shitty at peopling.

When Elaida had settled herself to her own satisfaction, she studied them for a time in silence, her face unreadable. At last she said, “Did you know that we have the Black Ajah among us?”

Already Elaida is being set up as an anti-Pope - er, anti-Amyrlin- in that she's basically pulling the same moves Siuan is for the same reasons. She's much less good at it - and I've already pointed out that Siuan wasn't especially great at it - so naturally the girls are going to assume she's fucked.

Egwene’s fingernails dug into her palms. It was maddening. She, or Elayne, or Nynaeve, could destroy Elaida where she sat. If they caught Elaida by surprise, at least; she was fully trained, after all.

I wouldn't be too sure of that, Egwene. Elaida is Moiraine-tier, so even by surprise her training is probably enough to keep up with any of you, even Nynaeve, at this point.

You will be the first Queen of Andor ever to be Aes Sedai. The first queen anywhere to be Aes Sedai in over a thousand years. You will be one of the strongest of us since the Breaking of the World, perhaps strong enough to be the first ruler since the Breaking to openly tell the world she is Aes Sedai. Do not risk all of that, child, because you can still lose it all. I have invested too much time to see that.

Note of course that Elaida's main concern here is the wasted effort for her - advancing the Tower's interests is great so long as it reflects well on her.

We are sure Liandrin and those who went with her are Darkfriends. Black Ajah. I would not see the same charge leveled at Elayne, and to protect her, it seems I must protect all of you. Tell me why you ran away, and what you have been doing these months, and I will do what I can for you.

Again: Elaida is entirely genuine here and her protection would be formidable - but none of the girls like her in the least.

She tried to choose her words carefully, to say nothing that was not true, yet give an impression far from truth.

Awww, Elaida's teaching her successor. :3

You can hardly forget entirely when your punishment has been announced to the entire Tower. Unprecedented, that. Unheard of, for less than stilling. I can see why you are eager to put it all behind you. I understand you are to be raised to the Accepted, Elayne. And Egwene. That is hardly punishment.

And certainly by Elaida's standards pointing out how arbitrary Siuan's decisions look here is downright nice. Lots of Aes Sedai and the trainees will be thinking the same thing and it would probably matter a lot more if it weren't for the girls getting out of Dodge here quickly.

This Emond’s Field of yours must be an unusual place to produce the two of you. And Rand al’Thor.

Elaida probably has no idea how absolutely threatening this sounds. She's so bad at communicating.

“They are to be punished, and that should be an end to it. I have always felt that when punishment is done, the fault that caused it should be erased.”

An interesting position for a Black to have. The concept isn't without merit, but it can certainly lead to big problems going unchecked if the punishment doesn't fit the crime.

“You see? You can give the appearance of meekness, at least. And you will have plenty of opportunity to practice before you earn your way back into the Amyrlin’s good graces. And mine. Mine will be harder to achieve.”

Sheriam probably loves teaching people to be as meek-seeming as possible without having a bone of actual humility in her bodies. She probably even encourages in the girls she's not grooming for the Black.

then there are exactly seven people in the Tower who know a man was killed today in the novices’ quarters, and two of them are men who know no more than that. Except that they are to keep their mouths shut.

A lie. There's only six, or perhaps many more than seven.

“The Amyrlin Seat herself, among others, will see to him.” Sheriam’s face held no more expression than her voice. “Did you have reason to doubt it?”

They had some reason. Not strong ones, but enough...

Next time: Healing!

[cyarskj1899]

You better Women’s March Deez nuts bxt*h 🤣🖕🏽😭 black folks ain’t doing nothing for you hews anymore even after four years

NAURRRRR. Black and Jewish women marched to the polls yesterday and showed tf out. 💅🏼 Everybody else fucked us over. Y’all got what you voted for. White and Latina women, you’re on your own. Leave us alone.

The amount of sistas telling her to kick all the rocks is HILARIOUS! You must’ve missed the memo. We’re done with this BS. You broke it(yet again) YOU fix it. My daughters and I are staying home and watching you all make complete fools of yourselves.

and When the recession hits, I'm going to buy so many foreclosed properties it will make your head spin

And Fuck Cinco de Mayo and Ocho Cinco! Fuck all the Cincos for that matter! It’s may the 5th as of today, MAY 5th! No thoughts and prayers for the soon to be deported just CONCEPTS OF THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS which is really none at all Latinos let be real so many of you are not good allies. Black people including Afro-Latinos have every right to be pissed off. 46% of you told us white adjacency and “the economy” mattered more than helping us keeping our rights. Can’t wait to sit back and watch the same 46% cry wolf when he start separating their families for being Latino or Hispanic. We tried to protect them, but they screamed “pick me pick me”. Your wannabe tan supremacy won’t save you🖕🏽Moving forward being called a “person of color” is a slur to me as a BlkPerson & I will respond accordingly!

Sisters, beware of those ones on the job going forward Do NOT trust them

I had half of mind to leave this twitter account but I decided not to because talking to all of you is how I'm going to get through the next 4 years. Assuming we're allowed to have a vote in 2028. That is if there’s a possibility

and no, I’m not marching in no protests or buying no shirts. This what yall wanted, timer set for 2028. 2026, midterms. Wonder if we can hold on to the House and get the Senate back in 2 years That is if there’s an election. Enjoy.

I’m not putting myself on the line for any causes for the next 4 years (or probably ever, no one listens to black ppl until it’s too late I’m sick of it). it is about to get real ugly for so many ppl, it’d be stupid to protest anything right now, no I’m not signing no petitions, no I’m not donating to no gofundme, no I’m not praying for you, no I’m not reposting shit about wtf y’all got going on fuck ya , If it ain’t a black woman or someone from the LGBTQIA+ community, I’m not batting an eye. Yall got it , It’s beyond clear. They don’t need or want our help. I’m not needed nor wanted. So I’m doing me and betting on (the non self hating) black! There will not be a second, third, or fourth, not even a FIF time. I'm done. Now as for the White people and Latin people who voted for Vice President Kamala Harris, thank you, I see you, I respect it... but y'all still have plenty of work to do when it comes to your community. Don’t give up on us. We need you as much as we ride on your races. We need you. we need you. Don’t give up the fight for change and democracy.

Texas , Louisiana , and Florida won’t get one prayer out of me next hurricane season either. Suffer you guys

My best day after advice: Go live your best life, stack your paper and don’t watch cable news during Trump 2.0. Starve the media and give his bad energy no attention.

[doubleddenden]

Just for fun, I'm going to make an absolute WORST CASE scenario for Pokemon day (with sillies)

Pokemon decides to announce NFTs (they did put out a job listing for an NFT expert months ago)

Pokemon merch that's just more overpriced garbage. Shitty pastel tshirts that just have the pokemon logo stamped on the left breast area- $50, only goes to size XL.

Pokemon Go has way too much screen time for yet another Kanto fest

Pokemon Masters, Unite, and Cafe just won't end their trailers.

New tv show that's just a vague reality show about celebrities that liked Pokémon once, and it's more of an episodic celebrity biography show with one line or two about Pokémon. Not even fun ones, C tier at best. So, something like T@yl*r Sw*ft's boyfriend's football career, but one line about playing Blue for a few hours at his cousin's house.

Pokemon Home fees will increase

Pokemon Bank will close TODAY

Port of Red, Blue, Gold, Silver, Ruby, and Sapphire to NSO- you have to pay for online to access it over cloud- internet connection required, and for some reason you have to pay extra for them in a Pokémon exclusive expansion pass. No word of third versions. Does not include the events or Japan exclusives.

Black and White 1 remakes announced. It's chibi like BDSP, colors are dry and washed out, there's graphical errors in the trailer frames, they state BW2 specifically is not part of the remake, they promise tweaks to make the gameplay EASIER than ever. Parts of the game are made with AI and script rewritten by Chat GPT, with an error you spot easily in a trailer. Masuda has the remake game director's neck clenched tightly from the back. He looks at you and says "you will buy the games this time. This isn't a request." Japan pre-order exclusives are amazingly crafted Reshiram and Zekrom statues that even have light up tails and eyes, and also you get shiny versions of them only in the Japanese copies, US gets a cheap piece of paper with generic stock images of Pikachu and Charizard on it, everything is shiny locked for everywhere not Japan.

They tease a Legends game. You think it's going to be amazing, you think oh my god we're getting Legends Unova... wait, it looks Japanese, maybe LEGENDS CELEBI???...it's Legends......... KANTO, and it's the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen after the clear lack of care put into their non gen 1 games since the Switch launched. A selling point is, once again, no new Pokémon after the og 151 so older fans can enjoy it better. Your starters are Charmander, Charmander, and Charmander, you might encounter Bulbasaur and Squirtle in post game. Your job is to stop EEEVIL outsiders from the rest of the regions with their newer Pokémon from settling into Kanto. Johto is having an awesome party next door with all the regions invited, but there's been a convenient landslide blocking the only way over. It's just reskinned Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee. Professor Oak is your age and putting moves on your mom.

Features a mythical Pokémon based on depression that looks like a tiny salary man, comes with its own movie featuring Ash as a depressed Millenial realizing he peaked at 10. He has to get a job. Pikachu is dying of old age and Ash has to "grow up" and release him and all of his other still living Pokémon. It cuts to real life, and Pokémon was just a game he has been playing for years to cope with his parents' divorce and eventually his own with Misty, then May, then Dawn, then Serena, then Goh, etc. Ash's dad is finally revealed: it's Chris Pratt with bad cgi wrinkles, back with milk. They go to the arcade to play Mario to stomp on some................................................................................................................................................................................... KOOPAS.

"Well that's all. Oh wait, one more thing!"

Ed Sheeran and T@yl*r Sw*ft music video featuring 1 Pikachu in a frame that can be easily edited out, with a song not even about Pokémon. The song sounds like shit and is about another breakup.

There, the bar has been lowered to the floor. It cannot get worse.