#no matter how much cleaning you do there is always more
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Iâm đ° Anon >:3
How would the yandere boys act with a reader that has body dysphoria? A reader who starves herself (Iâm going through a hard moment and really wanted to know how they wound react, I wanted, you know, some comfort maybe-)
Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I know exactly how much ana sucks when she comes to visit. But don't worry, the boys will try their best. Unfortunately, their best isn't always very smart.
Skin and Bones - yandere boys when you won't eat
Yandere! Cowboy is predictably mean about it. He'll tug at the hem of your sundress and say he doesn't give a damn how your clothes fit, as long as you keep taking them off for him. At night, he'll bury his face between your thighs and nip at the tender flesh. "You're mine - your pretty cunt, your pretty smile, your pretty body. You don't get to starve what's mine, got it?"
Safe to say, he watches you like a hawk after that. At every meal, he makes sure your plate is sparkling clean. And if you even think about throwing up, he'll have his belt off in a second to teach you a hard lesson about abusing his property.
Yandere! Soldier thinks you're doing it to piss him off. "What? You're worried about being heavy?" He'll grab your waist and toss you over his shoulder in one smooth move, like you weigh even less than his gear. Smack your ass and say that no matter what you weigh, nothing can stop him from throwing you around.
"Now stop insulting me. ŃŃĐľŃŃŃ ŃŃĐž-нийŃĐ´Ń."
And eat something.
Yandere! Boyfriend understands better than you'd think. He cooks you something incredibly healthy and low calorie, a safe food. He'll stand behind you as you push it around your plate, his chin resting on your head and his fingers kneading your thighs. "C'mon baby, just a little bite?" He'll promise that if you finish it, he'll eat up too. And he doesn't mean food.
Yandere! Incubus notices it when he comes to you at night. He's attuned to every part of you in a way only demons can be. You're hungry, you're ravenous and there's some dark ugliness festering at the heart of it. In the morning, the handsome young priest stops at your table and tells you that you've been looking ill lately, that you should definitely eat some more. He'll tug at his rosary and remind you, "When the flesh hungers, so does the soul."
Yandere! Desert Bandit doesn't understand it. Food is hard to come by, so why are you turning it down? When you explain it to him, he scoffs. "The desert sent you to me. Why would I want to change such a precious gift?"
If you insist on being stubborn, he'll lunge at you and wrestle you under him.
"I've dreamt of you, just as you are."
Maybe he can show you exactly how perfect you are to him and if not...He can always hold you down and feed you himself.
Yandere! Academic Rival will order a ton of expensive dishes and have them delivered right to his apartment. Everything you've ever mentioned wanting to try. He'll rest a fork at your lips and smirk at you. And be suffocatingly condescending when he says, "I thought you were smarter than this. Now open up and prove me right."
#Why do they all have such different solutions#Tbh Yandere Boyfriend is the only one I'll let near you#Comfort#yandere#yandere x reader#reader insert#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere drabbles#x reader#yandere oc#Yandere Soldier#Yandere Cowboy#Yandere Boyfriend#Yandere Academic Rival
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not jealous
pairing: fiyero tigelaar (wicked, 2024) / reader [gender not specified]
word count: 637
warnings & info: nothing, some jealousy but it's light
summary: Fiyero Tigelaar does not get jealous- until now.
note: this is bad im easing back into writing. ITS ONLY UP FROM HERE
â
Fireyoâs face was beginning to ache. More specifically, his forehead, right between his firmly furrowed brows.
Heâd been standing in the middle of a group of his classmates, pretending he wasnât scowling, since youâd disappeared with some guy from Munchkin Country. Sure, youâd given him a sweet, apologetic smile with your hand on his shoulder, and yes, you were only a few feet away on the dancefloor, surrounded by a number of classmates, but still. Your Munchkin Country friend was standing awfully close to you. And why couldnât he keep his hands to himself? Surely you noticed how often he squeezed your arm or brushed against you or, even worse, took your hand to lead you off deeper into the crowd.
As your closest friend, Fiyero knew you were perfectly capable of walking yourself. You didnât need anyones help. That was his problem with the guy, really.
He couldnât take his mind off of it, until you made your way over to him, waving wildly to get his attention. The sight of your grinning face eased some of the tension from his shoulders, though the realization that your friend was close behind irked him once more. Still, he did his best to put on a brave face, whipping out a charming smile that he hoped met his eyes.
You placed your hand on Fiyeroâs arm as you introduced him to your friend, your fingers curling around the princeâs bicep- the touch was casual, but he found it hard to remember any names. The contact was all he could think about.
It didnât matter- the conversation was quite short lived. Try as he might, Fiyero didnât actually want to know anything about this guy. In fact, he wanted him to politely bow out so the two of you could⌠Oz, what did he even want? To talk to you? Well, yes, he always wanted to talk to you.
Luckily, your friend got the hint thinly veiled by Fiyeroâs curt niceties and finally left, giving your hand a squeeze that Fiyero found completely unnecessary.
âWhatâs the matter with you?â
The soft concern in your voice startled him a bit. Fiyero turned to look at you, at your wrinkled brow and the slight downturn of your mouth. He resisted the urge to touch your face. âNothing,â he replied, shaking his head. He glanced back over at the retreating figure of your classmate. âHeâs friendly, hm?â
At your lack of reply, he turned his gaze back on you- he didnât expect the wide grin on your face.Â
âFiyero Tigelaar,â you said.
Fiyero blinked. âWhat? Did I get it wrong?â
You shook your head at him, expression almost mystified. âDonât tell me you're jealous.â
âJealous?â Fiyero let out a huff, smiling like this was hilarious. âI am not jealous. Thereâs no cause for jealousy here.â
You said nothing, opting to grin at him and lean in almost conspiratorially, like you were waiting for him to come clean. His calm deteriorated. âI mean,â he began, âwell- not that youâre not- you are worth getting jealous over, clearly, I simply am not because I- well, we arenât even yet- i mean simply arenât-â Fiyero shut his mouth. What was wrong with him? âItâs quite warm in here.â
âMhm,â you responded. Your teasing tone made his ears burn- he prayed to Oz that the dim lighting would stop you from seeing how bright red they must have become. âOkay, 'not jealous', donât think too hard. â You took a finger and tapped on the middle of his forehead. âBesides, I like you much better.â
âWell- I know,â Fiyero pouted. Then he paused. âWait, you do?â
You hummed again with a sly shrug, slipping your hand into his. Fiyero felt his cheeks burst into flame as he let you lead him onto the dancefloor.
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micheal meyers fic if you still write for him? đ
I rlly liked your other fics with him, not a big fan of him being characterized as overly affectionate so I rlly liked your kinktober fics about him
something in a similar vein to that? smut or no smut is chill, just him being infatuated in his own creepy way
Michael Myers x male reader
Headcanons
Im happy you like my stuff :3c ive never imagined he was overly affectionate either, it just didnât feel like it fit his character very much, ya know? No hate to the people who write that, I just like imagining him as a creepy guy, standing there⌠menacinglyâŚ
I think the only way you two could have met where you made a lasting impression is if you were somehow at the same asylum as him. Be it as a doctor or a patient. But Iâve never read a fic where the reader was one of the doctors, so thatâs what weâre gonna go with here.
Joining up at smithâs grove sanitarium hadnât been your first choice, since it was known as a pretty run-down place, that treated their patients more as prisoners than people. It may have been a place for the worst of the worst, but they were still people in your eyes.
You get Michaels attention by somehow wrenching his care from Dr Loomisâs hands, using all kinds of laws and loopholes to rip it from him and then running for the door pretty much. To you, what Loomis did should get him placed in jail and his license removed, as it could only have made his patients states worse.
Building a relationship with Michael is what many would call impossible. But you believed that every person had something special that fueled them, and just being treated like a worthwhile human being always seemed to do the trick.
It took months, if not years for you to really worm your way into Michaelâs heart, or whatever was left of it. He hadnât really had many positive male people in his life, something you also blamed Dr Loomis for, but over time he grew closer to you, in his own way.
To others it may seem like Michael was the same as always, but at this point youâve worked with him so long that you know him. You can feel his attention follow you, even when you are on the other side of the yard where the patients get sunlight.
Itâs no shock that you are most patientsâ favorite, especially after you become head of the hospital, after a very long and stressful battle with those stuck in their old ways. It made you start cleaning house, getting rid of bad caretakers and methods to replace them with better ones.
You took it extremely seriously, and would have any so called interviewers or investigators removed from the premises, to not mess with your patientsâ care.
You gain a bit of a reputation in the media at how incredibly cruel you can be to the people who wish to use and abuse your patients. Some call you crazy for protecting them, especially as everyone knows Michael Myers resides there.
But to you, it doesnât matter. You have no spouse, no children, you havenât talked to your family since you left home at 18, all you truly have is your job, so that is what you use your energy on.
And if a lot of that time is spent with Michael, then so be it. Having Michael actually emote or pay attention to you, is a big step in the right direction in your book. You can never get him to talk, but he does succeed in learning a couple of signs, though you suspect he only does it because he knows it makes you happy.
Later you would look back on Michaelâs escape as something you blamed on yourself. Over the long time you had been his caretaker, you always made sure to be there on Halloween, since it was such an important date for him.
He never told you this, obviously, but you could tell. It just happened that you had needed surgery around that time, something you couldnât put off as much as you wanted. If you wanted to keep caring for your patients, then you needed it done.
So, it truly shouldnât have been such a surprise for one of your nurses to call you in a panic that Michael had somehow gotten out. Being bedbound, there wasnât much you could do but give orders from home and watch the tv.
You didnât technically live in Haddonfield, but you lived close enough that you could bike to town for groceries if you needed to, but also so you could drive to work without much issue.
Seeing no reports of murders outside the usual made you sigh and slump in on yourself. You had put off taking your pain medication, wanting to be clearheaded and aware, just in case you needed to be. And what else kept one clear in the head but pain.
As bedridden as you were, there wasnât much you could do when you heard your back door open. You only knew it was that door, as it had a loud squeaky hinge you never got fixed, as it wasnât like you used that entrance much.
Seeing Michaels looming stature shouldnât have been a shocker either. What did amaze you to a certain, professional extent, was that he hadnât put on his usual coveralls or mask, instead it was one you two had made together using safe materials.
There was no verbal or physical reply when you spoke to him, outside of a slight rise of tension in his shoulders when he heard you grunt in pain, as you turned to look at him.
You didnât want to call the hospital, knowing just how volatile Michael could be. And you may have replaced many doctors and nurses, but they still feared him, all but you at least. The only thing you truly could do was speak to him, to make him stay so he didnât go kill anyone.
Maybe it was the years of care you had given him, but Michael at some point moved closer, just staring down at you and the bandages around your stomach.
You had a feeling he wanted to poke it or maybe just unwrap it, but you had worked with him about other peopleâs pain tolerance. Michael still only seemed to care when it was you, but you put a lot of stuff in his notes about your professional opinion and growth.
There were worse caretakers than Michael. In all reality he wasnât really a caretaker. A lot of it was just him standing by the door, in the corner, or right at the foot of your bed to watch you. Hed shuffle after you wherever you went in the apartment, even carrying you when you couldnât move too much.
you had decided to heal enough to bring him back to smithâs grove when you healed enough, already knowing how violent Michael could be with other people.
To Michael though, this meant more than you meant. He wasnât one to feel lust or much romantic attraction, but he was drawn to you and attached enough to just stay, to even bring you your pill bottles and water, like how you would to him at smithâs grove.
You theorized it made him happy, in his own way, to know he was helping in the ways he knew how. Another more paranoid part of your brain did worry about what he did when you slept, since the pain medication had that effect.
Nothing ever looked out of place, but you did catch him kneeling beside your bed on more than one occasion, just holding your hand. Or the times hed place your hand on top of his head so you would caress him.
It was inappropriate for a doctor to do such a thing with his patients, but Michael seemed calmer and more at ease when it was just you two. He couldnât cuddle in bed with you, and neither did he seem to want to, but being held and coddle in small amounts seemingly worked for him.
Michael clearly wasnât pleased when you took him to return to smithâs grove, but he actually came along without issue. It caused a whole media storm, but over the years you had mastered those too. As long as it helped your patients, then you would do it, to a certain extent.
And if giving Michael weekends at your place where he got to stalk you around your own property was what he needed, then so be it. you saw it as progress, in his own, weird way. Hell, Michael even started sitting and having dinner with you instead of just hovering. To you that was a win, no matter what others said.
#male reader#michael myers#halloween#slasher#michael myers imagine#michael myers headcanon#michael myers x male reader#michael myers x reader#halloween imagine#halloween headcanon#halloween x male reader#halloween x reader#slasher imagine#slasher headcanon#slasher x male reader#slasher x reader#doctor reader
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the most you can do to âput the cat to bedâ at night is to have a designated room for the cat to stay in at night, keeping a litter box and cat furniture in there. if you have a lot of breakables, this might be an ok idea, but really, it wonât save them, the cat(s) will just break them when theyâre bored during the day, so you should have them put away where the cat(s) canât reach them at all times and play with your cat(s) for at least 15 mins daily (even if you donât have breakables, this is just proper cat care, they need the enrichment).
im always astonished at how little so many people know about cats, even people who HAVE cats. you canât control cats. you can train them, but thatâs not the same thing, and only very few cats will still do the stuff youâve trained them to do without a reward waiting on the other side, so if your cat is only motivated by food, for example, good luck trying to get them to do anything without a treat. thatâs why you need to catproof your house.
some cats can open cabinets and so you need a baby proof lock on any cabinets that have chemicals or other dangers, and anything else you simply donât want your cat(s) to get into. cats can and will jump up on the kitchen counters, and if you âdisciplineâ them by yelling at them or spraying them with water, theyâll just stop doing it when youâre there but continue behind your back (and start to dislike you), so you can only mitigate this by 1) getting a motion-controlled air canister that lets out a puff of air to startle them when they jump on the counter so theyâll stop doing it (this works because it doesnât matter if youâre there or not, and unlike âdisciplineâ it doesnât deteriorate your bond with your cat bc itâs not you doing it, as far as your cat is concerned, the counter is doing it), 2) putting a door or room divider or something in the kitchen doorway so they canât get in the kitchen unsupervised, or 3) just cleaning your kitchen counters before and after you cook, so it wonât matter if your cat(s) goes/go on the counter bc you remove any potential contaminants before cooking and remove any potential dangers to your cat(s) after cooking. lots of cats do actually need outside time, but itâs super dangerous to let them free-roam, so you should build a catio or harness-train themâand many cats CAN be trained to walk on a leash and harness, with a lot of patience and positive reinforcement (aka lots of treats), but you shouldnât expect them to go on a walk the way a dog would: you should carry them through the threshold to reduce the risk of them running out the door when itâs open (cat walks out the door independently = âthe door is my ticket outside,â cat is carried out the door in your arms or a carrier = âmy human/harness/carrier is my ticket outsideâ), and THEY decide where you go, NOT you.
i wish people knew as much about cats as they do about dogs. ignorance of cats is what leads to people thinking they donât love humans or even each other (not true, cats are very social creatures and many are even clingy once they get comfy with you, they just generally arenât as obedient or trusting or dependent on humans as most dogs), and people mistreating their cats & then blaming the cats for acting out even tho their needs arenât being met (most often, people donât play with their cats, and then the cat gets bored and destructive, and the human labels the cat as the problem even tho a healthy cat that plays enough will not destroy things or attack you for no reason, healthy cats only do that stuff because theyâre BORED AS FUCKâmost episodes of My Cat From Hell are literally just people blaming their incredibly bored cats for acting out bc of boredom, and jackson galaxy saying âyour cat is bored, play with themâ and teaching them how to play with cats properly and also telling them they need to clean the litter box more often or get more litter boxes so their cat doesnât go to the bathroom outside the box or helping them set up cat furniture so the cat can feel safe and comfy in the home they live in or other stuff that should be cat owner knowledge 101, but, for some reason, just isnât)
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trauma ig
@gorelvr and anyone else who wanted it
iâll start from the begining because itâs the one thing that will make my story similar to others. it will have a begining and an end just like anyone elseâs. i have been sexually abused since i was seven years old. my cousin joe (obv not his real name i was in israel at the time) he was considerably older than me. 13, not too bad, but at the time it felt like a worlds difference. it didnât start slowly, not at all, and pieces of it i donât even remember. i do remember closets tho. it wasnât just an rape either. he wanted me to like it- either that or he was just sadistic. he would make me smile and beg for it, make me please him as a lover, told me it was right since i was his blood. in fact, he would draw this blood quite often. he would pinch me, beat me, cut me, anything to make me cry, because he had a rule. if i cried, he could come back to use me again. he would do anything to draw out a mere sound of discomfort, anything, any excuse so that he could come into my room at night and violate me. he called me his wife. he called me his girl. and in my native tongue i had to tell him i loved him as well. when i was 9, after two years of this, with no one believing me (and if you ask how itâs possible, youve clearly never heard of arabic jewish culture-) i move to america. i lived in chicago, and suddenly, i was a normal girl. sure, i couldnât speak english but i was clean. no longer dirty. i was far away from joe and i thought maybe id be far from the pain too. i was far from the bombs that rang in my ears as i walked home, the desolate shelters littered around playgrounds, the constant whisper of âyou are never safeâ far behind me. i was ahead of everyone else, and when i heard that another one of my childhood friends died of an attack, it didnât feel better, but at least it wasnât me. at least it wasnât me.
this is where i met a friend named lucie. she was the first female friend id ever had. my wonderful grandma, who was like a second mother to me (at the time when she was alive my mother was still kind, the lines on her face less pronounced, her words filled with less poison) signed me up for swimming classes with lucie. after swimming class, me and lucie would shower together. itâs started off because i had conditioner that she needed for her blond hair, conditioner that i was willing to give up to her because she was so much whiter than me, so much purer. she then asked me for favors. to touch her. sheâs press me against the wall and kiss me, and when i resisted, she wouldnât even react. she asked me for more. she said âif you do it well this time, you wonât have to do it again.â and âkiss me for longer this time, you only did two seconds, you promised tenâ and each request, no matter how hard it was for me to do, was done. and each time, there came another. no matter how much she promised itâd be the last one, there was always more. i couldnât get away from it. i was trapped. i was scared, and i wanted her to be my friend. she taught me that if u donât give people ur body, they wonât stay. she taught me that im worthless besides what i can offer to others. she taught me everything i know and live by, and then she left anyways .
seventh grade- i had a very nice science teacher. i was doing very well in his class. his name i really cannot say because he is still teaching at the school in illinois, and no one has believed me, no matter what i insist happened. we were doing a bridge project. i was failing, because my grandma was dying. she was dying, and she was my everything. watching her- it was the hardest thing iâd ever done. but i couldnât avert my eyes because it felt sinful. it felt wrong to look away because it was hard to watch- she was my grandma after all, the one who raised me, loved me, showed me the good in the world. so i watched. i watched and stayed with her and read her books she couldnât hear me reciting while she lay in her hospice bed barely breathing. i wrote down the stories she told me through her tubes, and i tried to imagine that the wires connected to her were flowers instead, that she was somewhere were her grimace was rlly a smile. she stayed alive until my birthday, my 12th birthday, because she didnât want to ruin it. she stayed alive, in pain, riddled with so much terror, to see me turn 12. one day, i walked into her room and spoke to her, and watching her eyes try to open, her oxygen intake spike up, her stiff limbs try to reach me- it killed me. i love her and always will. it feels awful to group her with this awful man- my science teacher, but in this story they do go together, unlike in real life where my grandma was such a big and powerful woman she always stood alone. or with me. i digress, the man- letâs call him Mr.P- he failed me. i was excelling- frankly, because im very smart and quite good with physics and such, but he still failed me. (shortly after this whole ordeal i was neurologically tested and i have an IQ of 156). i walked into his class one day, and all i can remember is him smiling, saying that he would give me an oppurtunity for extra credit, but that it had to be secret- you can tell where this is going. i had already learned from lucie that nothing is good abt me besides my body, and so when he took mine, the second person to- i could just sit and cry. at least this man let me cry- at least this one didnât kill my hair to get a reaction, with the promise of hurting me more the less i liked it. i donât remember much besides my face being pressed against vents on the side of the classroom. i would âwake upâ (ptsd) with blood between my thighs, and cuts on my face from the metal on the vents, because of how hard he shoved my face in them. he had a daughter- she was 6 at the time. when i graduated, he told me heâd do the same to her. that was the first time i cut myself. because i knew i couldnât stop him. i knew that i couldnât do anything. i knew that what lucid taught me was wrong. my body wasnât even special- it wasnât even âworth itâ, it was just available.
i moved all over the US, living in austin, chicago, colorado, and florida for the longest times. chicago was my home though, and i know the city like the back of my hand. this is not something many people can say, but i survived being homeless in chicago during the polar vortex. for those who donât know, the polar vortex is a phenomena that happens every year. winds from the arctic pass through canada and end up in the midwest, chilling the air to roughly -58 degrees F or lower. after my grandma died, my mother became mean. angry. she scared me. she hit me. itâs too much to get into and frankly, i live with her and my dad now and i feel odd talking abt it. itâs my current reality as well, but what i learned from them is that words mean nothing. so i wont spend them here. after a week of being homeless and running to and from school, living in an underpass, someone started walking âhomeâ with me. his name was pat. this is the man i often reference in posts. he was my best friend, not at this time tho. we walked home together for weeks, not speaking a word to each other, until one day i caught an awful case of pneumonia, the second time id fallen ill with it in the month. this time, i couldnât walk, stand, breathe, or talk. i was passed out when he found me, at least thatâs what he told me. he said he carried me to his friends house and thatâs were they saved me. his friends name was biscuit, and biscuit ended up being a huge drug dealer. he kept me in his attic- it had a hole in the roof but it was better than dying in the cold. i had already lost my left foot to frostbite- i still canât feel it but i can walk on it now, which is better than before. in the attic, and idk much abt it because rlly the memory is so hazy- sometimes i wake up in a cold sweat bc im back there, and sometimes idk if im dreaming or if its real- but rlly truly i dont know for sure what happened. all i know is that biscuit used to bring his friends up there, while i was healing (they put tons of drugs in me idek what they used to help me get better but im pretty sure it was a combo of depressants and steroids)- they would pass me around. i just get hazes- visions sort of. i dont even remember. i remeber the feeling of their hands tho, and suddenly feeling a lot colder, feeling the wind on my bare skin. i remember waking up with wind rash and scabs from cigarette burns. i donât remeber enough o accuse anyone of anything though, so i didnât mention it to pat. in my head, he didnât even know. i was wrong ofcourse- he knew. he always knew.
when we got better and went back to our respective homes, we stayed very close. we formed a trauma bond. codependcy. it was wonderful while it lasted, but soon, he started to fall for me. he never raped me, but he did other things. i donât care to specify at the moment because i fear ive already gone into prolific detail about things i never wanted to think about again. truthfully, i love pat. i do. i hold no hatred towards him, and i really donât like to talk about all the bad things he did to me, because he was my sweet boy. i never loved him like that- he was just my best friend, but when i speak about him people donât seem to understand. he understood me, and itâs just. hard to talk about because thereâs so much to say. i canât write it all down in this small part of a bigger story because i have so much to say about him that iâd rather just give it out in pieces. if you see something tagged with #pat or #i miss him, itâs probably about him.
idk what else to say. iâve been manipulated many times since. used, beat, thrown away. at least pat had the decency to lie to me about it while he did. iâve never been anyoneâs first choice, and iâve never felt as loved as i did when i had him. he was my best friend, and while this story isnât about him, itâs hardly about me either. long story short, people used me because they could. i was available. i was around. i used to feel like a victim until i realized im just not special enough to be that. im not special enough to be anything to anyone, and my body wasnât even âchosenâ to be used because its me, it was just convenience. idk. thatâs as much as im willing to share. thereâs more but - for now this is enough.
#trauma dump#lore drop#trauma#trauma survivor#emotional abuse#complex ptsd#isolation#mental illness#vent#vent post#personal vent#vent tw#tw vent#tw 3d vent#bpd vent#venting#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mental health#living with cptsd#just cptsd things#cptsd vent#actually cptsd#trauma vent#tcc thoughts#tccblr#tcc fandom#andre kriegman#tcc columbine#cal gabriel
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On my hands and knees sobbing throwing up combusting into dust signs my soul away to you THAT WAS SO SO SOOOOO CUTEEEEEE GUAYAYYAYYUUUUUAUAGAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Poor Rollo thinks hes just being nice meanwhile poor yuu is so used to people digging underneath the bar that he's literally prince charming incarnate. Rollo clearly needs to adjust their standards and do what the villains could not by kissing yuu softly while they take a nap. And also threaten crowley to give them money for food. ANYWAYS!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FEEDING ME AND THE 5 OTHER ROLLO FANS THAT SURVIVED THE FAMINE (/j) I OWE YOU MY LIFE!!!!! This message is getting so long, but you deserve to know how awesome your writing is and that I look forward to whatever you post for real. I slide over a crisp 5 maddol and ask for when you feel like it (and if you even want to ofc!!) A part 3 where maybe they're deeper in the relationship and are doing heinous things like m*king out and grimm thinks they should be executed for making him walk into this horror. (He didn't knock. Bc he's grimm. He claimed to be scarred for life until Rollo busted out the premium tuna suddenly we should get married asap) . ANYWAYS SORRY FOR THE LONG RAMBLE. IM BARKING AND CRYING AND EXPLODING AND PROPOSING TO YOU. Signed with love, rollo anon đđđ
Rollo Flamme x reader
i just saw this and this almost made me cry 𫶠also sorry for the very long wait
Part 1 ; Part 2
Rollo was nothing if not diligent. Whether it was reorganizing the shelves at the library, fixing the perpetually squeaky door in Ramshackle, or chastising Grim for yet another snack-induced fire hazard, he was always helping in his quietly intense way. It wasnât just dutyâhe genuinely seemed to enjoy making your life easier, which both baffled and warmed you to your core.
You, of course, did what you could to return the favor. Helping him clean up after unruly magic festival events, proofreading his endless notes about anti-magic policies, and gently reminding him to relax when he got that telltale furrow in his brow.
And you were in love.
Like, grossly in love. The kind of love where you found his huffy rants about magical irresponsibility charming and he tolerated Grim's chaos just to spend more time with you. It was a weird, wonderful balance youâd somehow managed to strike.
Which led to this particular evening: you and Rollo, tangled on the old, creaky couch in your room at Ramshackle.
It had started innocently enough. Youâd been reviewing a new book he'd brought for youâsomething philosophical, of course, but heâd chosen it specifically because he thought youâd enjoy it. You were teasing him about his insistence on leaving a handwritten note inside the front cover (âWho even does this, Rollo? Itâs adorable, butâseriously?â), and he had flushed in that way that made you want to pinch his cheeks.
Then one thing led to another.
Now, his lips were on yours, one hand cradling your face with the kind of reverence that made your heart twist. His other arm was around your waist, anchoring you against him. Rollo might not have been an experienced romantic, but he made up for it in sheer, focused intensity. When he kissed you, it felt like you were the only thing in the world that mattered to him.
âYouâreâmmphâvery distracting,â he murmured against your lips, his voice low and tinged with amusement.
You grinned, tugging him closer. âSays the guy who started this.â
His only response was to kiss you again, deeper this time, until your brain was reduced to a pleasant, fizzy blur. The world outside the room ceased to exist. It was just you, him, and the creak of the couch as you shifted closerâ
âWHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY?! MY EYES! THEYâRE RUINED!â
Grimâs shrill scream shattered the moment like glass.
You froze, pulling back to see Grim standing in the doorway, paws dramatically covering his eyes. âHOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? ON MY COUCH?â
âGrim, itâs my couch,â you said, face burning.
âYouâre the henchhuman; itâs ours by default!â Grim wailed. âAnd now itâs a place of SIN!â
Rollo, to his credit, had already straightened up, his expression transitioning from flustered to composed in record time. âGrim,â he said, voice calm yet firm, âsurely youâve barged in enough times to anticipate that privacy should be respected.â
âOh, I respected it,â Grim sniffed. âBut my henchhuman clearly has no shame. And you!â He pointed an accusatory paw at Rollo. âI thought you were better than this! But no, youâreââ
Rollo, completely unbothered by the tirade, reached into his bag and produced a can of⌠premium tuna?
Grimâs rant ground to a halt. His ears perked up as he sniffed the air. âWait. Is thatâ?â
âIndeed,â Rollo said smoothly, holding it up like a peace offering. âA gift I intended to give later, but it seems circumstances call for a different approach.â
Grimâs eyes lit up with unrestrained glee. âYou know what? Iâve never doubted you for a second, Rollo!â He scurried forward, practically salivating as he swiped the can. âYouâre clearly the best thing thatâs ever happened to my henchhuman. You two should get married. Tomorrow. Iâll get a priest. Iâm sure Crowley owes me a favor.â
You groaned, burying your face in your hands as Grim popped the can open with zero regard for decorum. âGrim, you are the worst.â
âCorrection: Iâm the best,â Grim said, already devouring the tuna with gusto. Between bites, he added, âThis guyâs a keeper. Donât mess it up, henchhuman.â
Rolloâs lips twitched, a hint of amusement breaking through his otherwise composed demeanor. He leaned closer, whispering just loud enough for you to hear, âShall we take his advice?â
You gave him a playful shove, laughing despite yourself. âNot helping, Rollo.â
But deep down, as Grim devoured his bribe and Rollo sat beside you with that quietly pleased look, you couldnât deny that the idea didnât sound all that bad.
The exhaustion of the day had finally caught up to you, and youâd collapsed onto your bed with a sigh of relief. âWake me up for class, okay?â you mumbled to Rollo, who was sitting at your desk, meticulously organizing the scattered notes youâd left behind.
âIâll make sure youâre on time,â he replied, his voice carrying that steady assurance you found oddly comforting.
You barely managed a hum of acknowledgment before sleep claimed you, leaving the world behind in a haze of warm, peaceful quiet.
When you stirred again, it wasnât the sound of your alarm or the creak of the floorboards that woke you. It was something far gentler.
A warm, featherlight pressure on your forehead.
Your eyes fluttered open slowly, and the first thing you saw was Rollo leaning over you, his expression soft in a way that made your heart do an Olympic-level somersault. He was close enough that you could see the slight flush on his cheeks, though his composure never wavered.
âGood morning,â he said softly, his voice a gentle murmur. âItâs time to get ready for class.â
You blinked at him, your still-sleepy brain struggling to process what had just happened. âDid you⌠just kiss me awake?â
His blush deepened, but he stood his ground, meeting your gaze with quiet confidence. âYou looked so peaceful. I thought it would be a more pleasant way to wake you than simply shaking your shoulder.â
Your heart melted on the spot. If there was a scale for romantic gestures, this one had just broken it.
âYouâre ridiculous,â you said, though your voice betrayed how utterly smitten you were.
âPerhaps,â he replied, a faint smile tugging at his lips. âBut you didnât seem to mind.â
You didnât bother arguing because he was absolutely right. Instead, you reached out, tugging him down for a proper kiss this time.
When you finally pulled away, you smirked at his flustered expression. âIf you keep this up, Iâm going to start napping more often.â
He chuckled softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. âIf thatâs the case, Iâll have to be even more diligent about ensuring you donât oversleep.â
You laughed, warmth blooming in your chest as you sat up and stretched. âThanks for waking me, Rollo. Really.â
âOf course,â he said, his tone earnest as ever. âItâs the least I can do.â
The man was going to ruin you with how thoughtful he was. And as you got ready for class with a lingering smile on your face, you couldnât help but think that waking up like this every day wouldnât be so bad.
It started with something simple. You were both sitting in the courtyard of the chapel, enjoying a quiet moment together. The sun was setting, casting a warm glow over everything, and Rollo was, as usual, the picture of composure. He was reading a bookâsome historical text youâd never have the patience forâbut his attention drifted when he noticed you staring at the horizon, lost in thought.
âAre you cold?â he asked, setting his book aside and leaning slightly closer.
You blinked out of your reverie, shaking your head with a soft smile. âNo, Iâm fine.â
He studied you for a moment, then pulled his scarf from around his neck and gently draped it over your shoulders anyway. âJust in case,â he murmured.
It wasnât anything extraordinaryâjust a scarfâbut the gesture made your heart swell. The scarf smelled faintly of lavender, and the warmth of it felt like an extension of Rollo himself.
âThanks, Rollo,â you said, voice soft.
He nodded, but when he saw the way your smile lingered, something shifted in his expression. His usual composed demeanor softened into something⌠almost reverent.
âYou deserve this,â he said, his tone uncharacteristically tender.
âHuh?â You tilted your head at him, confused.
âYou deserve to be cared for,â he clarified, meeting your gaze with an intensity that made your breath hitch. âYou give so much of yourself to others. Itâs only natural that someone should do the same for you.â
You stared at him, heart racing. âRollo, I⌠Thatâs really sweet.â
His eyes narrowed slightly, though not at you. âItâs concerning that such basic decency stands out to you,â he muttered, almost to himself. âWhat kind of environment is this school fostering?â
The thought of Rollo, grimacing at the thought of NRCâs questionable population, made you burst into laughter. âI mean, youâve met Grim, right? The standards here are subterranean.â
Rolloâs expression softened again when he saw how amused you were. âEven so,â he said, taking your hands in his with surprising gentleness, âyou should never feel as though youâre asking for too much when you expect kindness or respect. Itâs what youâre owed.â
Your heart did a little somersault, and you couldnât help but giggle, ridiculously touched. âStop, youâre going to make me cry,â you teased, though the slight quiver in your voice betrayed how close you were to actually tearing up.
He smiled faintly, leaning closer until his forehead nearly touched yours. âIf you cry, Iâll simply have to dry your tears,â he said, his voice low and earnest. âThough Iâd rather see you smiling.â
You let out another helpless laugh, pulling your hands free so you could lightly swat at his arm. âStop being so romantic! I canât handle this!â
Rollo chuckled softly, pleased with your reaction. âIf it makes you happy, then Iâll consider it a worthwhile effort.â
And he meant it. He was genuinely, utterly content to see you so touched, so happy. Yet, somewhere in the back of his mind, a quiet but fierce determination grew. The villains and miscreants of NRC may not have treated you with the respect you deserved, but he would make it his mission to ensure you never doubted your worth again.
Masterlist
#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twisted wonderland#twst rollo x reader#rollo x reader#rollo x you#rollo flamme#rollo flamme x reader#rollo flamme x you#rollo
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Patrick Bateman being a perfect switch | NSFW HEADCANON
đđđđđđđ:Â Patrick Bateman x gn!Reader;Â
đđđđđđđđ: SMUTđŞ
đđđđđ: [MASTERLIST];
đ/đ: I know that sub!Patrick headcanon won in the poll I made, but since it was a pretty close one, I decided to write this! Probably I'll write sub!Patrick headcanon too, same goes for dom!Patrick, hehe. Have fun and I hope you like it!
Even though this man always wore an emotionless mask, there were many different faces underneathâyou just had to know how to unravel them. And once you discovered the other side of his personality, the one that longed not to be in control but to be controlled, nothing would ever be the same.Â
One day you would let him dominate you, but another day you would shamelessly ride his face, making sure he felt the weight of your body, every snap of your hips as you literally abused his mouth; his chin glistening with your cum mingling with his saliva as Patrick feasted on you like a man starved for ages.
When you accidentally brushed your finger along his puckered hole while giving him head and he literally melted from the unexpected but exciting touch, moaning something incoherent, but as soon as you stopped moving, the man literally gasped in despair, pressing his hips against your hand. "You seem to like this too much...am I right, my sweet boy?" You would ask, your eyes locked on his foggy ones, while your other hand was still pumping him in a steady rhythm, driving him crazy. "Yes...fuck..." Patrick's low whisper would be the only thing that mattered at that moment, along with the red tint that covered his cheeks. Jesus Christ, he looked so fucking hot.
This man didn't even have to do anything extraordinary, just exploring his real desires was enough to make everything hotter, steamier, more intimate. At one point you thought you shared a brain cell because Patrick could understand you without words. If you wanted to be dominated, ruined, reduced to fucking atomsâhe would just give it to you. No matter where you were at that moment, Bateman would make sure your mind was free of all thoughts except the ones of his dick sliding in and out of you as he fucked you from behind, folding your arms behind your back and using them as leverage.
There was nothing wrong with giving each other what you both craved.
That single phrase that caused the fall, the words that brought you both to the point of no return, and when Bateman finally unraveled completely and allowed you to peg him, you hugged him from behind, spooning almost gently as you pressed your hips against him, brushing against his ear and whispering to him, almost like a mantra, to remember that momentâthe moment when he finally trusted someone as much as he trusted himself. At first Patrick tried to be quiet, unsure if he could really be vocal, considering it wasn't exactly masculine, but as you began to stroke his throbbing cock, still moving inside his tensed body, he finally let go; his raspy, almost pleading moans echoing off the walls of his bedroom, and you thought it was the most beautiful sound you'd ever heard.
And you would never betray his trust because you cherished it like a treasure.Â
Every time Bateman let you cross that line, you would make sure he got what he wanted, making him cum hard on his expensive sheets, milking his dick with your hand and stimulating his prostate at the same time. And then the two of you would share a lusty, hard kiss that would leave you both breathless, but still wanting more. Cleaning your fingers, you would let him taste himself before you changed positions.
Now you were on your back, spread out on the pillows, watching him trace his large palms over your torso, then go lower until you whimpered in need, arching your back as a huge implication for him to continue. And when his lips touched your most sensitive spot, you wanted nothing more than to fucking claw at his scalp and rub against his perfect face.
"Mmhm...you're so fucking perfect," you blurted out with your eyes closed, tingling your fingers with his messy, slightly wet hair. "I want you to...fuck me..."
Without words, Patrick would turn you over and make you get on your knees while he sat on his heels, giving himself a few lazy strokes even though he was already so hard again. Sucking on your neck, he would slowly bury himself inside you, his hands like tight ropes trapping your body attached to his, you would squirm like a caged bird if he didn't hold you like this, but this man knew you too perfectly.
"Tell meâŚtell me you love my dick," Bateman's request sounded so desperate, almost pathetic. But you didn't answer right away, just giggled in response, encouraging him to fuck you even harder. "Tell me, you slut..."
"And if I don't," you retorted cheekily, looking at him with your half-open eyes. "Would you kill me?"
Although you knew it would definitely get under his skin, his pretense of indifference to your jabs turned you on even more. The slap of his hand on your ass, the tugging on your hairâeverything he did to make you surrender and submit was too much, too cute. Eventually you would play along and whimper, moan for him, praise his huge cock and tell him that no one ever fucked you better than him.Â
But you would never admit that he fucked better than you, not when you had him writhing and begging for you. Hell, no. The power dynamic in your relationship was always shifting, the rain of power belonged to no one, because somehow the two of you found the perfect balance.
And you wouldn't give it up for anything else. Never.
P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I donât have a taglist. You can follow my writing community to know when I update!đ
#american psycho#patrick bateman x reader#patrick bateman imagine#patrick bateman#patrick bateman x female reader#patrick bateman x you#slasher x reader#slashers x reader#slasher x you#slasher smut#patrick bateman smut#patrick bateman headcanon#christian bale smut#christian bale x reader#patrick bateman reader#christian bale#patrick bateman imagines#patrick bateman x male reader
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Lanolin's eyes were locked on the floor as everyone spoke there minds, among them perhaps only Blaze fully understood there situation. For what it was worth there world had rarely relied on the Federation, but it had always been a ruling body. They made the laws, they controlled the military, they had all the capital. If there was one organization that held all the cards in this world it was them. Trying to bully there way to victory felt like a sure fire way to piss them off. Sure they could threaten them with Sol's military, but then what? They come some kind of new military power? Who then do they answer to? As much as she HATED it! and she did, she didn't see a path to victory.
" It doesn't matter if they knew about Clutch or, Surge and Kitsunami, or even Belle and did nothing. The fact is when presented to the public how do you think it would reflect on us? Harboring Criminals who destroyed half a city. Hiding a Badnik within the base, and consorting with a knowing crime boss... GUN doesn't even need to fabricate a story--- They could tell the truth and it would still look bad for us. "
She spoke in a softer tone as she tensed up and seemed to feel the weight of her position for the first time. This was what it meant to be a leader--- saying what no one wanted to hear.
" Having leverage is good, But we can't just throw it in there face either. One miss step, one wrong sentence, and they declare restoration went rogue... cease our assets, cut off our fending, and declare its members criminals... They don't need to attack us today, to win tomorrow, and expecting Sol to step in with military force--- that looks like Blaze is planning an invasion... "
Her eyes went to Belle as she looked tired all of a sudden, like the day was wearing on her. The weight of what they faced had already dawned on her and she could not find a victory condition. No She had a feeling that the Federation had them dead to rights.
" I don't disagree belle but how do you think GUN would spin that? We both know Omega is like a dog to them, they send him in to clean house, and keep him under constant observation. "
Miles had been listening for awhile now without speaking a word to anyone. He just looked to have been thinking long and hard. It was a complicated mess, and Lanolin was right that going at this with a club was going to be messy. Confronting them with what little information they had, was going to backfire and it would make it all worse he figured.
Yet there was another option and Lanolin had already hinted at it.
" If we confront them now we lose, its just that simple. Showing our cards at this juncture... We'd tip our hand to early. As much as i hate to admit it... I think here today we have ot concede... let them have there little investigation really no other course that doesn't lead to conflict between us and the federation... "
" However, what we need is evidence that this was a big plot on there end. If we can prove that then in court we might have a chance... with enough capital and the right lawyers we can argue our case. But trying to argue it with this president here and now? it's like yelling at cop because he's gonna give you a ticket... or worse trying to bribe the cop. "
" that's my play, we let them think they've won and act behind the scenes--- Convert operations. It's our best play...we can use mimic as a bargaining chip to show our good will. Once we know more we can make a plan to counter GUN and the Federation but right now... if we act rashly we end up terrorists on a watch list... that's my idea, and i think our best shot of saving restoration "
Sonic didn't respond as he was staring at the wall grinding his teeth. He didn't get angry often but, this was one of those moments he felt like he was being dicked over. Yea Tails might be right but, he didn't have to like it! He knew the kid was smart, and maybe a conflict would be bad! but letting these guys use shitty political tactics on them sucked!
" So that's it? Just roll over and play dead? I'm still for butt kickin' let them call me a terrorist if they want... they can do it while choking on there teeth--- But what ever the plan i'll do my part. But this kinda stuff ain't my style... "
"I can't say we don't have any options. After all, I'm sure even GUN wouldn't wish to make an enemy of me or the Sol Empire. It may not be much of an advantage given I'm in their world, though it's at least something to push back with." Blaze was never one to use her status for threats or warnings, and today was the first time she's done it so much. Though the feline wouldn't sit by and let her friends be pushed around or threatened.
"Not to mention the fact they never even attempted to reach out to anyone about the fact Clutch is a criminal, or how they also knew Mimic was here in the base. I'm can only guess you guys had Mimic as a high priority of catching, so they should've known too. Easy to send a message if they have a spy in. Gives off the impression they set you guys up to fail. I only wish I had more solid proof on the rumors about the commander." Rowan was sure having solid intel on that guy would make them clear out in an instant.
"We also got Mimic in the Shadow Void to turn over. Can't say I trust GUN with someone like Mimic, if only because I wouldn't put it past them to put him to work, though it's something." Rowan wanted to just throw him in a hole and leave it at that, though he'd never hear the end of it from Tangle.
"If Surge is staying then so am I. They can try to take me, though they'll regret it in the end. All it takes is four to six minutes for someone to drown, and I can speed that up much faster with how smart I am." Kitsunami wasn't going to let anyone take Surge, or let anyone take him away from Surge. If GUN wanted to see how dangerous the fennec was then that was the fastest way to do it.
"It's okay Kitsunami. I doubt they'll try anything that'll tick you and Surge off." Belle wasn't surprised Kitsunami would go through such lengths, though gears and starters she didn't need to see him start racking up a body count of GUN soldiers. The tinkerer herself was thinking about what she should do. Tails and Lanolin had a point, yet so did Vector. Not to mention she was sure they'd only be interested in dismantling her. She was sure they could consider her as safe eggtech to copy.
"I won't go with GUN because I don't trust them. And if they want to take me just because of who my creator is then I'd be more than happy to bring up how they let Omega work for them." Belle knew Eggman created Omega, though as far as she knew they never tried to punish or arrest him. Hopefully that'd be of help to get them to leave her alone.
"So, we got Blaze backing us up, the fact they withheld the fact Clutch was a criminal, also not telling use Mimic was here, my unconfirmed dirt on the commander, and the fact they let Omega work for them. I guess we could also count them coming off as overly hostile." Rowan found all this excessive, at least without any warning.
"Is this a bad time to mention I also stole Clean Sweep's money? Maybe we should had that over, since I'm sure a lot of it must have been earned illegally." Belle could easily find out what was Restoration donations and what was Clean Sweep profit.
#Unit Commander#Lanolin#Gears and Starters#Belle#Blue Streak speeds By#Sonic#All Grown Up and Ready to Fly#Tails#Guest Muses#The Chaotix#Vector and Espio
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.â ・â *â ⥠a/n: i pretty much wrote this bcs of boredom, then put on queaue, then i wanted to rewrite it lmao. so i'm just posting it now ~
.â ・â *â ⥠Warnings: well, cannibalism????? gn!reader as always
"How does it taste?"
You asked, watching the blood staining his lips. Like a river, the red, metallic liquid trickled down the sides of his mouth with each bite of raw flesh that Jade savored so passionately. Hungry like a predator, his eyes carried a promise of death for anyone who dared to interrupt him at that hour when he suddenly turned.
You, however, were used to receiving that look and didnât mind it.
On the ground before you lay dozens of enemy bodies. The foul stench of death spread in intense waves. You wouldnât be able to describe it if someone asked, but it was horrendous. And yet, Jade found pleasure in devouring that flesh and blood. You wondered what it tasted like. Would it be similar to beef, pork, or chicken? Or something entirely different?
He smiled, bits of flesh stuck in his teeth as he adjusted his suit and walked toward you. Blood dripped from his sharp, grinning teeth. His eyes sparkled with a wild gleam as he savored every bite.
"Raw flesh has a peculiar taste, an indulgence that few understand," he mused, running his tongue across his lips to clean the remnants of blood.
"Thatâs technically cannibalism," you retorted, uncertain.
Nothing in his posture suggested Jade would harm you, yet it was better not to push your luck while you were still on his good side. It would be safer to do what Floyd had asked â borrow a pair of Jadeâs shoes â and leave, but Jade was already too close, staring at you with gleaming eyes and a smile that made you want to vomit from the overwhelming stench of death emanating from him.
"Cannibalism? Donât be so mundane, my dear. Itâs part of my diet. In the ocean, everyone eats such things all the time. Please, donât apply human laws to me in the same way." Breathing in that warm breath was difficult, but you maintained your composure to avoid offending the eel. You never knew when you might be next on his list.
"Is that how it works?" You murmured, trying to look away, but Jadeâs eyes were like an abyss. Hypnotic. Inescapable. He always had that effect on you, a mix of fascination and fear. Despite his refined and polished appearance, you knew he was dangerous. Deadly, even.
Jade tilted his head, as if savoring the tension in the air between you. The smile never left his bloodstained lips.
"Oh, it works quite well, actually." His voice was a seductive whisper, dancing between calmness and something... predatory. "Each bite... every drop... is an experience. Something that few have the privilege to appreciate."
You swallowed hard, feeling cold sweat trickling down your neck. Fresh blood dripped from his pale fingers, staining the already soaked ground around you. He made no effort to clean his hands, and the sight only made him seem more savage, a refined predator who had just hunted.
"Do you... enjoy it?" The question slipped out before you could stop it. Your voice sounded shakier than youâd have liked, but it was hard to feign indifference in the face of such grotesque scenery.
Jade chuckled softly, a low, melodic sound, like the echo of an underwater current. He took a step forward, and you felt the space around you shrink. He was too close now.
"Enjoy?" He repeated, his eyes gleaming with malice. "I would say itâs more than that. Itâs a matter of necessity... of survival. And you, Yuu?" He raised an eyebrow, his gaze fixed on yours. "Have you never wondered what it would be like? The taste? The texture? The feeling of completely dominating something or someone?"
Your stomach churned. Jade always had a way of wrapping you in his words, as if trying to drag you into the same dark world he inhabited. And the worst part? A small part of you wanted to know. Wanted to understand.
"No... I..." You began, but the words died in your throat when he raised his bloodied hand and ran it across his lips, licking his index finger with disturbing calm.
"I could show you, if you wish," he whispered, his voice like a cold current snaking toward you. "Just a small bite... nothing too dangerous. Just enough for you... to experience it."
Your heart raced. It was an invitation, but also a threat. A test. Jade enjoyed playing with your limits, pushing them just to see how far you could go before breaking. And now, he watched you with that intense gaze, waiting for your answer.
"I... think Iâll pass," you managed to say, trying to smile, though fear burned inside you. "Floyd sent me to get the shoes. Nothing more."
For a moment, silence stretched between you. Then, Jade stepped back, the smile still present but now with something almost disappointed.
"Ah, Floyd." He murmured, adjusting his suit with a graceful gesture. "Always so practical. So straightforward. Very well, Yuu. I wonât be rude. Not today."
You took a deep breath, feeling relief fill your lungs. He was letting you go. For now. Jade retrieved a pair of shoes from a nearby corner, clean, as if they hadnât witnessed the macabre scene around them. He extended them to you with a refined gesture, as if offering a gift.
"Take them." His eyes gleamed again with that familiar malice. "But remember, Yuu... the door between you and me is never fully closed. Perhaps, one day, your curiosity will win."
You took the shoes, your hands slightly trembling, and stepped back.
"Maybe..." You replied softly, trying to sound firm, though you werenât sure you believed it.
With one last smile, Jade turned back to the bodies on the ground, as if you were no longer there. You didnât look back as you leftâbecause you knew that if you did, you would find those predatory eyes watching your every move.
And somehow, you knew he was right.
#yandere tw#jade leech x reader#jade x mc#jade x reader#jade leech#yandere jade#jade x yuu#yandere jade x reader#yandere jade leech x mc#yandere jade leech x reader#yandere jade x yuu#yandere jade leech#yandere jade x mc#twisted wonderland#yandere twisted wonderland
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baby itâs you
blackfem!reader x jean kirshstein
tw: mdni, pillow princess, pouting and whining, and lots of talking
jean is a lover
who puts your pleasure before his always. he say itâs to show you how much he cares for you. but really he does everything to show you. you don't have to lift a single finger. he cooks, he cleans, he gives you way too much money, makes you feel so good. he's perfect. everything you could ask for
âjust wanna show you i love you babyâ he has you on your on your back kissing and adoring your bare body and ridding himself of his clothes. he canât help but praise you and your just laying there âso perfect, youâre perfect. everything about youâ all his compliments have you pouting for him, and grabbing onto him. begging for him to please you
your always so impatient, never can wait too long. but itâs his fault youâre like this, all his fault. he pampers you. lets you do whatever you want. as soon as you bat your eyelashes at him he is under a spell. saying yes no matter what, doing anything he can to make sure you stay pleased. he speaks to you softly âitâs ok baby itâs ok, iâm right hereâ you love how soft spoken he is. it makes your stomach jump.
he springs into action, molding your body into the perfect pose, he always holds you in position. always making sure his pretty baby just has to feel the ecstasy, never doing the hard work just lay there and look pretty like you always do. heâll do everything else
he places one of your ankles firmly right above your head. holding your there, kissing the sole of your foot softly letting you whine some more when takes the other ankle to have your feet crissed crossed above your head. holding them solid in one hand. pecking your lips to keep you quiet. letting you become all teary eyed still begging just when he finally slides into your plush walls.
your moans almost immediate because your getting what you wanted. your body folded in on itself, you feel him deeper than ever. he is hitting all the spots that you needed him too. your hips sinking into the bed the harder his pelvis moves into yours â just wanna make you happy, give you everythingâ itâs like he is in a trance âlove you so muchâ he is just babbling. just saying what comes to his mind when the pleasure takes over.
he can see your lips parted as drool dribbles out. the dazed look in your eyes affecting him in ways that have him buffering, your toes curling when he gives you those deep strokes.ďżź the high pitched whines youâre making causes his hips to grind into yours. the tingly sensation in your thighs starts to take over your body, you can feel yourself starting to shake. âj-jeanâ
he licks your lips, licking up the the drool sucking on your bottom lip. âwhat do you need baby ?â his breath staggering. heâll do it all for you, you want him to fuck you harder heâll swing his hips as hard as he can. slower, he moves so sensually youâll have butterflies in your stomach. deeper, he will push his length til the hilt give you all that he can. above and beyond just for you
âneed your cumâ your begging, he almost shudders and losses all his strength but he had to push through give into your request. holding your tightly to dig into you. panting over you.
"anything for you baby, what ever you want always i promise, f-f-forever" he just letting his mouth sprew all. his mouth coming to latch onto your lips so he can stop babbling. kissing you so intensely you can feel the high taking over your body. your hands grabbing his back harshly when you can feel how extreme everything feels. his kind words that have you skin raising with goosebumps to the way his width is stretching you to point of cream frothing onto his base.
the sounds that leave your mouth when you reach that intoxicated high that has your eyes rolling back your ankles having to be gripped tighter when you try and move away. your juices coating him even more. your making his brain haywire his hot cum shooting into you, it makes you smile inside. seeing him jerk and groan on top of you
"entirely for youâ he whispers against your lips while you look at him dreamily
#blackfem!reader#jean x blackfemreader#blackfemreader#jean kirschstein#jean ŕš#so sorry this took forever love you guys so muchhhh ŕťŕŚ#love lychee âĽď¸ ęŁŕ§âĽď¸ęŁŕ§#anime aot fics#jean kirschtein x reader#âŞbaby itâs you- jojo#lychee drafts Ű ęŞŕ§â§ă
¤ă
¤ Ű#arminzblackbimbo ૮ę°ŕžŕ˝˛Ëľ > ďť < Ëľęąŕžŕ˝˛á
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Please may I have Dandadan platonic headcanons of Okarun with a younger sister age 14 who has a weakened immune system along with being asthmatic..she wasn't a stranger to being ill..she didn't come home at a normal time one day and Ayase found her unconscious in the rain and.."she's burning up.." when Ayase realised that she also had a fever. She was also bullied and laughed at by her classmates for having a weirdo nutter for a big brother who believes in Aliens and she supported his beliefs genuinely to be kind. She is a genuinely kind kid despite her health problems that left her bedridden sometimes and sometimes even sick. Prolonged exposure to the rain or water without drying off can make her very ill if she isn't covered with a coat..she was quite sickly and she was born 2 weeks early when Okarun was 3 when things went horribly wrong after a car accident. She had caught every childhood illness known to man in her younger years and it was slightly shameful to admit the truth but she ended up in tears as it was frustrating that she was mostly more in hospital than at home.
Okarun's relationship with his younger sister who is certainly unwell and had suffered from health issues and was more in hospital than not.
Ayase's relationship with Okarun's younger sister
https://youtu.be/__wPpu1C-zg?si=X9xlU6oFVzpVxDtI (to describe her life)
HIIIII THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST HEREE!!!
Besides that, I hope you're doing well! I wasn't really well versed in weak immune system issues, but i looked a bit into it and i hope you like it! Take care đ
Being Okarun's little sister! With health problems!
To start with, i think being Okarun's little sister would mean you have a brother that would be always there for you.
No matter what problem you're facing, he's always there and willing to help you out. Be it with homework, school, friends, teachers, parents or anything else. If he can't help, he's there to listen and be a shoulder to cry on.
If you're easily sick he would be incredibly careful with you - making sure his hands are washed, he's healthy and keeping things clean and tidy. He would NEVER do anything that could potentially harm you.
If you have asthma, i think he would carry an inhaler around with him just in case. Better be safe than sorry, especially with his sister.
If you're feeling sick at school he's taking you home immediately. No ifs and no buts. He doesn't care if he misses a class or two, if he doesn't turn in the homework on time or if his attendance would suffer - you need to be at home and that's that.
If you're in the hospital, he'd be there whenever he possibly can. He doesn't want you to be alone - hospitals probably aren't the greatest place to spend time in. Be it watching some show, talking your ear off about alies and extraterrestrials or just sitting in silence, he wants to be there with you.
If you're sick and you're at home, he's taking care of you whenever you need it. He's bringing you medicine, running you a hot bath, cooking you a good meal - pretty much anything you could need.
He's there for the gross parts too - he would hold your hair when you're throwing up and clean up after you if you need it. He doesn't care how nasty it is, you're his sister and to him, as a brother it's his duty to take care of you even if it gets bad.
If you frequent the same hospital, the nurses and doctors probably know him. Other than his whole alien thing, they know he's always there to ask about how you're doing and what he could do to help you.
As your relationship with Ayase, i think she would be a little clueless but she has the spirit. Like your author dearest
Okarun would feel awful if you're being bullied for being sickly, but even worse he would feel absolutely horrible if you're bullied because he's your brother. He would never forgive himself for putting you through that. Even if you're supportive to his belief in aliens and aren't really bothered by his weird ideas, as thankful as he would be for it, he would still be worried about the bullying.
You would have to explain to her what's up and how come you're doing things a bit differently to keep yourself healthy.
She would help you out if she can, but she does it like it isn't really a big deal. She just happens to carry around an extra coat or hot tea, face mask and whatnot. She doesn't want you to feel burdened because she's gotten Okarun's habit of always having something handy - she genuinely cares about you too.
If Okarun can't come visit you at the hospital or help you when you need it, best believe she's heard about it and is coming.
If he needs to do something but you're at home sick, she's coming to look after you. She knows enough for taking care of someone sick to be there. If you need anything specific you would have to tell her though.
If she visits you at the hospital, be prepared for a chat. She will talk your ear off about anything and everything - keep the conversation going!
She would also listen if you need to talk about your problems! She can't always give advice but she would always be there if you need her.
On that note, if you're being bullied CONGRATS! You're not bullied anymore. Not if she knows about it. She's not letting that slide.
You're in school. Its a break between classes. Next class is the 2nd, maybe 3rd? You aren't even sure anymore.
The weather has been awful since the morning, you really should've taken a thicker coat.
The classroom is too loud, too bring and too hot. You can barely breathe from how cramped it feels, even though half your class is out and about.
You can feel your head pulsing and your world spinning. It feels like you're full of hot air and you're floating like a balloon but still like your body is so heavy it can barely hold itself up. Shivers run up and down your body, you aren't sure if your body is boiling itself alive or you're freezing blue and purple all at once. You're so nauseous but still you're so thirsty. You've barely eaten any breakfast and still you feel like throwing up.
It all feels too much right now and going to the bathroom for some peace and quiet seems like your only choice. At least in there you won't feel like the air is so hot it would cook you alive.
The hallway seems like a claustrophobic hell - it's overflowing with students, its so cramped you can barely pass, the chatter feels like a thousand radios playing different static over each other.
You can barely walk as it is, but with the crowded hallway it seems almost impossible. It feels like you're floating around, everything seems so distant as if you're watching it on tv.
Suddenly you're in the bathroom.
Holding yourself up on the sink you don't even feel your legs anymore. You're burning up, your throat feels like its closing up and it feels like the ground is whirling under you.
You hear someone call your name and you can't even make out who it is. You're barely hearing through white noise and your world goes dark.
You wake up and you're in your bed, at home. You covered by soft blankets, still sick but at least safe and warm. The lamps are out, the only light is coming from the window. Its still gloomy outside, the sun hidden behind woolly silver clouds and the milky fog coverd everything beyond the neighborhood.
You can hear footsteps coming towards your room. You're now also aware of the chatter of tv and someone talking in the living room.
And your brother enters the room.
"OHMYGOD- Y/n, you're awake! How are you feeling? Do you need anything?? Did you know you have a fever?? Why did you come to school si-"
"QUIET! She's sick and you're yelling! Are you stupid?!"
Ayase is there to stop your brother from going on a rant, but she isn't any less quiet than him.
After that, they bring you food, water and medicine. They stay and talk, laugh, chase each other around and keep you company.
You're not sure if you'll ever get better or it will only get worse, but they're there for you anyway.
â˘
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Im not rlly sure how to write good older brothers, but ik whats not a good older brother and so im writing exactly what that isnt so i hope my method is workingđ
I hope you enjoyed, my requests are open!!
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âĄ// "Let me do this."
Diluc x reader
word count: around 800
an: im back to writing after a while wowie
warnings: some angst?, hurt/comfort, mention of cuts, propably ooc diluc
"you know you don't have to do this?" his quiet voice broke the silence that had long settled in the air, making your hands pause as you took a moment to look at him, noticing your hands were still shaking more than you would like them to.
"i know," you said, but your hands quickly got back to work, ignoring what he had just said. with practiced moves you cleaned the cuts on his back, some deeper and more concerning than the others, your heart still ached as you looked at all of them. you bandaged the ones he had on his arms already, thankfully the larger wound you were now cleaning up was the last one you had left.
after finishing, you paused to actually look at him. your eyes scanned all of the wounds that were on his back, some older and some more recent, faint scars visible under them too. his skin was all scarred, and everyday he added new markings to it. you always hated it, but no matter how many times you tried to talk him out of it, it was of no use, so all you could do to make it easier for him was taking care of each and every wound he came back with.
with a shaky sigh you placed the cotton ball you used back on the table, picking up some healing ointment to apply it gently on the cuts that would take longer to heal.
taking some on your fingers you moved to apply it on the largest cut you could see, diluc flinched a little when you did so, but he said nothing.
he didn't say much since the moment he appeared at your door, actually. he barely even looked at you too. since the moment you sat him down on the edge of your bed, sitting on your knees right behind him, he had been awfully silent, his eyes focused on the ground.
you were finished in no time, also setting the ointment away, finally getting to bandage him and be done with the task.
"lift your arms a little," he did like you asked, allowing you to easily wrap the bandages around his torso as many times as it was necessary. you tied them in place and finished with a little pat to the spot.
the room was totally silent once again after you setted the bandages down next to the rest of items you used to take care of him, neither of you moving not saying anything for a longer while.
"what's got you so quiet?" you asked, wanting to finally break the silence, which started to slowly get overwhelming. while asking, you leaned forward to wrap your arms around his neck, your chest leaning on his carefully, making sure to not put any pressure on his injuries.
"i didn't want to distract you," you frowned a little at the answer, sure, it could make a good answer to your question if only you weren't sure that he knew well what you were referring to.
"you know what i'm asking about," insisting, your hand moved up to his hair, wrapping one of the messy red strands around your finger.
he went quiet for a moment once again, debating whenever he should insist on not understanding what you had in mind in hopes you would drop the topic, or if he should answer truthfully.
he settled on the second option.
"i don't want to worry you, whenever i come to you like that you look more distressed then i ever see you," he leaned his head back on your shoulder, seemingly finally letting himself relax a little as he got the thought off his chest.
and maybe he was right, you could only assume what expression you had on your face whenever you opened the door for him in the middle of the night, just to see him all beaten up and bloody.
"i can handle this much," you respond, your body leaning more into his as you bury your face into his neck, closing your eyes as you too, relax against him, "i asked you to do so anyways, i wouldn't do that if i didn't want you to come to me anymore."
"besides," you add, before he can speak up once again, knowing he was about to refuse what you said again and insist that you shouldn't be burdened by him, "that's the least i can do, i much prefer that then knowing you're taking care of them," you gesture at the countless bandages covering his skin, "all by yourself while im just sleeping at home."
and he doesn't say anything more to that, but he doesn't stop coming over to your place whenever he needs it either.
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#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#x reader#diluc ragnvindr#diluc#diluc x reader#diluc ragnivindr x reader
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He itched to run after Apollo. This was too hard not actually getting to speak to him and trying to keep up his own act. Because if he were being honest, he was scared that this could be more than they were able to see in that moment. His hand squeezed his boyfriend's tightly and he managed to smile for him. "Honestly?" He asked, his shoulders shrugging deep. There was no telling what was the right answer. But he did know they couldn't run. Together was safest for them all at the moment as far as he was concerned. "I don't think we should leave. I know that Isaac is .." He swallowed and shook his head. "He's upset just like Apollo and I can't blame either of them. I wouldn't know what to do either." He offered the smallest of smiles to him and decided to settle in against him, watching the little boy reluctantly clean up all of his things.
"I do know this." He started, shyly looking up at him from under his lashes. "I can't leave you alone with a line of credit when there's a child around." He laughed softly, winking at Theo when he showed him yet another gift Oliver had went through all the trouble to pick out for the little one. Cass brought their hands up against his lips and gently kissed each of his knuckles lightly. "I think you'd make a great dad." His voice was soft and he let their fingers rest against his lips after he'd said it, feeling the weight of it. But more so realizing that he wasn't opposed to this for them. Which scared the hell out of him.
_________________________
Isaac stood so still he wasn't entirely sure he was breathing at that moment. He'd brought that on himself and he knew it. And maybe it was a little of an exaggeration, just a little. But who would have completely acted perfectly having this thrown in their lap. Isaac knew deep down that the way Apollo felt for Cassio wasn't as it had felt to him, but how did he explain that? They'd always discussed how difficult things had been for Apollo growing up but Isaac hadn't the easiest go of it either. Being veela was hard enough, no matter the amount, but to be a male one? He'd struggled through what came easily to the women of his kind but he thought himself mostly well adjusted. Well, he had until he'd encountered the other men under this roof.
He drew in a deep breath, feeling the headache start to swell behind his eye and he'd cursed under his breath. If he didn't get this back under control and his sister showed up, they were worse for wear. Though, a woman's hand might not be the worst .. Stop. He'd exhaled and found himself staring at the door. There was no chance in hell that the pair, and the boy, hadn't heard that and so there was no point in pretending. Isaac fixed his face, wiping away the tear streaks he hadn't realized were there and he pushed open the door with his own flair. Isaac strolled into the room as if nothing had happened. Because for now, it hadn't, if he were going to do this, then the most positive mood had to be in the forefront of his mind. He'd hate himself for it later but if you had it, why not use it.
"Olive'h" He smiled and turned to Cass and nodded, "Cass. I thin' we maybe are a bi' ove'whelmed." Because that was the understatement of the century. He was careful to touch them both on their knees just so. He'd peeked over his shoulder at the little boy and smiled brightly at him. It was then he'd felt a tightness in his chest and it nearly overwhelmed him how much that little smile truly brightened his whole mood. His attention shot back to the other two and he cleared his throat. His hands started to feel warm from the contact and soon their faces began to soften and grow to almost glow. "If ya wouldn' min' jus' keepin' an eye o' him fo' jus' a momen'." Cass' cheeks were damn near red at that moment and it was then that Isaac saw, perhaps for the first time that he hadn't looked at him once in those few moments. No, his attention was solely on Oliver and he felt as if he'd been invading a private moment between them. "An' .." He started, slowly coming to stand and withdrawing his influence to a softer ray. "'m sorry i' ya heard us in there it's jus ..."
"It's okay. Maddox's aren't easy." And the two of them, Isaac and Cassio looked at each other and smiled in some sort of understanding in that moment. I nodded and excused himself to their room where he heard Apollo on the phone. He was already too late. Well ...
Isaac walked right in and closed the door behind him. He'd felt the glare from Apollo while he had the phone pressed to his ear but he advanced on him quickly. This could only work if he didn't give Apollo a chance to dodge him. His arms wrapped around the man from the back and Isaac pressed his cheek to the back of Apollo's neck. The direct contact to flesh had always been better, especially for him since his claim was less than half. "'m sorry." He whispered, those salt water streaks coming back to litter his cheeks and soak the other's shirt. He didn't care. If it meant he didn't leave, didn't go where Isaac couldn't follow then it would be worth it. And maybe he'd be mad at him after, maybe he'd not even tell him but that was something he'd have to wrestle with later.
"Please don' go." He didn't care if he could be heard but he had a sinking feeling she was already on her way. "I don' wan' ya to thin' I don' pick this i's jus' ...." He felt his breath catch and he paused, clutching Apollo tighter, his face moving until his lips brushed against the sharp angle of his hair line. "We can do this jus' don' leave." He felt his magic warming his own body and he went further, his fingertips shoving up underneath of Apollo's shirt. The contact felt like it was going to melt him but in the best way possible. "Please?"
Whether Isaac knew it or not, his words were a knife aimed directly at Apolloâs heart. Because the life he had craved since he was a child, the life he clawed and dragged his way to, was not only his- but theirs. He had thought that what he and Isaac built, the friends that turned into family was theirs, but hearing him now, Apollo realized that it wasnât theirs. It was his. He had no one to blame but himself because he assumed Isaac had wanted this, and he craved a found family the way Apollo always had. The four had spent most of their time at university and post-university together. Yeah, he had ignored the rift between Isaac and Cassio because he thought they would grow out of it, but looking at Isaac now, Apollo wasnât sure about anything anymore.Â
Apollo fought the instinct to step closer to Isaac, seeking out the familiarity and comfort his boyfriend gave him, but he knew the chances of him finding that from the other were slim. He forced himself to back away from Isaac but kept his gaze on the other man. It felt like something had fractured between them; the distance between them was so significant that Apollo feared it would swallow him whole. âI didnât call them tonight, Isaac, fuck,â He said again as if that would make a difference. âWhen this happened, I ran to you. I fucking called you. And you can stand there and say itâs never just the two of us? Everything has been the two of us,â He spat out, crossing his arms over his chest. âThis house, our life has been because you and I made it. Because I choose you, and I continue to choose you, but you have it so screwed up in your mind that I want him, and I have given you no reason to distrust me when it comes to Cassio.âÂ
He shook his head. Leaning his hip against the counter, he broke his gaze to look out the kitchen window, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself in check. âI thought this was ours, too. I thought this was the family we chose, and maybe that was my mistake, thinking you were choosing them too; I guess it was just me the whole time.â Some leftover fucked up desperation to have a family because he hadnât grown up with a good one. How silly of him to think he could have this. Apollo inhaled sharply, looking down and rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palm. âYeah, um,â He felt the thickness in his throat, his skin twitching with the suffocating need to run. âI think I will call her and see if sheâs available.â He kicked off the counter and walked towards the kitchen door, stopping just before it, his hand on the doorknob. âI think itâs best if IâŚâ He swallowed, the words choking in his throat, âI think Iâll take Theodore to her house and stay there while I track down Alexandria. Oliver is probably already in love with him by now, and I wouldnât want my friends to bother you in your house if they want to see him.â Apollo pushed open the door and forced himself through it. âGive me ten minutes, and Iâll get everyone out of your hair.âÂ
Apollo walked down the hall, stopping to check in on everyone in the living room. âTheodore,â He called out and was greeted with the wildest smile he had ever seen awhile Apollo was still weary of the situation, it was hard not to remain distrusting around the kid. âStart cleaning up your toys.â This was met with a groan and a soft, but weâre playing whine. Apollo glanced at Cassio; the blonde was searching his face for something, and Apollo knew he would find it. He always could, even when they were kids. âI donât want to ask again,â Apollo said, continuing past the living room and up the stairs to the bedroom. He couldnât stay there while Cassio tried to decode the emotions he was attempting, and failing, to bite back.Â
He moved swiftly through the bedroom, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and thumbing through his contacts. The call connected as he pulled a duffel bag from the closet. âMy favorite brother,â the voice purred as Apollo riffled through his dresser drawers, pulling out clothes.Â
âYour only brother. I need a favor..â __________ After Apollo had come through the living room barking orders and looking two steps away from losing his shit, Oliver had expected Isaac to leave the kitchen too. So far, he hadnât. He shared a glance with his boyfriend, raising a brow at the blond. âWhat should we do?â He whispered, leaning his head on the blondâs shoulder. Theodore started begrudgingly packing his toys back into the boxes and bags. âShould we even do anything?â He slipped his hand into Cassioâs, squeezing his fingers lightly. âMaybe we should just sneak out now and pretend we didnât witness any of this.â But he knew he couldnât leave Apollo or Isaac in such a state, especially when it was probably his fault for inviting himself over without warning. It was just Oliver loved them both so much, and now there was Theodore. âMaybe we should steal Theodore and run, raise him as own our.â He looked at the boy, then back at the kitchen door. It was still silent. âIâll follow your lead, babe. Just tell me what you think we should do.â
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One of the WORST parts of having OCD is that some of the Fears⢠are actually humanly possible, so it's not like my response can just be, "Oh that'll never happen" or even "I've never seen that happen, so it's probably unlikely."
#like. okay. for example. 2019 me: 'better do cleaning compulsions because oh no what if I get the Plagueâ˘'#fast forward a year to covid and that was genuinely a very real possibility. I could LITERALLY catch the plague#or on a smaller more personal scale: 'no one is going to screenshot a Bad Line⢠of your fic and publicly make fun of it online-people#don't do that it'd be so extra why tf would you be afraid of that happening' except I JUST saw someone literally do that. so we engage in#Avoidance Compulsions⢠as a protective mechanism because the only way to avoid a feared outcome is to never do anything! đđ#and okay yeah these things are not created equal and one of them probably doesn't actually matter the point I'm trying to make is that#this shit affects my life on EVERY level and I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE FOR IT NOT TO DO THAT#I AM TIRED OF THE BRAIN DISEASE BEING HERE I WOULD LIKE TO BE A MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON PLEASE#*sigh* yeah yeah the answer is erp the answer is always erp that doesn't mean it's fun#mc13 and her ocd#I'll probably delete this later because it most likely makes me look completely and utterly absurd if not straight-up stupid#(no one ELSE with this disease or fears is absurd or stupid btw. just me. it's only me who is A Problemâ˘)#(yes I know how that sounds. I know okay.)
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I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.
It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.
#opossums chronic illness rants#seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try#its probably a combination of a lot of different things#like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse#along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia#the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently)#im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else#but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories#when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever#take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself#which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears#and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime#im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment#all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again#it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt#like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal#idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess?#im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do#its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal#since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out#until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me#apparently its very hard to find anyom#who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess
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Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves
#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw Iâm no#gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit Iâm just. nervous u see. and Iâm sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god.#and she pulls out the fucking. âcanât you just be a person?â mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM#AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god.#vent#itâs not a huge vent like if it comes up Iâm not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned.#but like. âcanât you just be a personâ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much#of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my#life. like being trans doesnât make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I donât have the patience to be nice about getting into#things and I donât have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I donât have the patience to hold her hand#through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that#immense. itâs hard and it hurts and it burns and itâs like. giving up to begin with didnât hurt too bad- itâs cutting off the festering#wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and#wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. Iâm not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? itâs. a lot#like I get and I appreciate that sheâs trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but#cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said#she would try. and I donât have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. Iâm just letting it sit there because frankly#itâll be such a huge thing because itâs Always a huge thing when I donât let the subject drop mega fast and Iâm. I know sheâs not gonna cut#me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when Iâm able to stand on my own two feet holy shit#and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient
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